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derinwrites · 1 year ago

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The Three Commandments

The thing about writing is this: you gotta start in medias res, to hook your readers with action immediately. But readers aren’t invested in people they know nothing about, so start with a framing scene that instead describes the characters and the stakes. But those scenes are boring, so cut straight to the action, after opening with a clever quip, but open in the style of the story, and try not to be too clever in the opener, it looks tacky. One shouldn’t use too many dialogue tags, it’s distracting; but you can use ‘said’ a lot, because ‘said’ is invisible, but don’t use ‘said’ too much because it’s boring and uninformative – make sure to vary your dialogue tags to be as descriptive as possible, except don’t do that because it’s distracting, and instead rely mostly on ‘said’ and only use others when you need them. But don’t use ‘said’ too often; you should avoid dialogue tags as much as you possibly can and indicate speakers through describing their reactions. But don’t do that, it’s distracting.

Having a viewpoint character describe themselves is amateurish, so avoid that. But also be sure to describe your viewpoint character so that the reader can picture them. And include a lot of introspection, so we can see their mindset, but don’t include too much introspection, because it’s boring and takes away from the action and really bogs down the story, but also remember to include plenty of introspection so your character doesn’t feel like a robot. And adverbs are great action descriptors; you should have a lot of them, but don’t use a lot of adverbs; they’re amateurish and bog down the story. And

The reason new writers are bombarded with so much outright contradictory writing advice is that these tips are conditional. It depends on your style, your genre, your audience, your level of skill, and what problems in your writing you’re trying to fix. Which is why, when I’m writing, I tend to focus on what I call my Three Commandments of Writing. These are the overall rules; before accepting any writing advice, I check whether it reinforces one of these rules or not. If not, I ditch it.

1: Thou Shalt Have Something To Say

What’s your book about?

I don’t mean, describe to me the plot. I mean, why should anybody read this? What’s its thesis? What’s its reason for existence, from the reader’s perspective? People write stories for all kinds of reasons, but things like ‘I just wanted to get it out of my head’ are meaningless from a reader perspective. The greatest piece of writing advice I ever received was you putting words on a page does not obligate anybody to read them. So why are the words there? What point are you trying to make?

The purpose of your story can vary wildly. Usually, you’ll be exploring some kind of thesis, especially if you write genre fiction. Curse Words, for example, is an exploration of self-perpetuating power structures and how aiming for short-term stability and safety can cause long-term problems, as well as the responsibilities of an agitator when seeking to do the necessary work of dismantling those power structures. Most of the things in Curse Words eventually fold back into exploring this question. Alternately, you might just have a really cool idea for a society or alien species or something and want to show it off (note: it can be VERY VERY HARD to carry a story on a ‘cool original concept’ by itself. You think your sky society where they fly above the clouds and have no rainfall and have to harvest water from the clouds below is a cool enough idea to carry a story: You’re almost certainly wrong. These cool concept stories work best when they are either very short, or working in conjunction with exploring a theme). You might be writing a mystery series where each story is a standalone mystery and the point is to present a puzzle and solve a fun mystery each book. Maybe you’re just here to make the reader laugh, and will throw in anything you can find that’ll act as framing for better jokes. In some genres, readers know exactly what they want and have gotten it a hundred times before and want that story again but with different character names – maybe you’re writing one of those. (These stories are popular in romance, pulp fantasy, some action genres, and rather a lot of types of fanfiction).

Whatever the main point of your story is, you should know it by the time you finish the first draft, because you simply cannot write the second draft if you don’t know what the point of the story is. (If you write web serials and are publishing the first draft, you’ll need to figure it out a lot faster.)

Once you know what the point of your story is, you can assess all writing decisions through this lens – does this help or hurt the point of my story?

2: Thou Shalt Respect Thy Reader’s Investment

Readers invest a lot in a story. Sometimes it’s money, if they bought your book, but even if your story is free, they invest time, attention, and emotional investment. The vast majority of your job is making that investment worth it. There are two factors to this – lowering the investment, and increasing the payoff. If you can lower your audience’s suspension of disbelief through consistent characterisation, realistic (for your genre – this may deviate from real realism) worldbuilding, and appropriately foreshadowing and forewarning any unexpected rules of your world. You can lower the amount of effort or attention your audience need to put into getting into your story by writing in a clear manner, using an entertaining tone, and relying on cultural touchpoints they understand already instead of pushing them in the deep end into a completely unfamiliar situation. The lower their initial investment, the easier it is to make the payoff worth it.

Two important notes here: one, not all audiences view investment in the same way. Your average reader views time as a major investment, but readers of long fiction (epic fantasies, web serials, et cetera) often view length as part of the payoff. Brandon Sanderson fans don’t grab his latest book and think “Uuuugh, why does it have to be so looong!” Similarly, some people like being thrown in the deep end and having to put a lot of work into figuring out what the fuck is going on with no onboarding. This is one of science fiction’s main tactics for forcibly immersing you in a future world. So the valuation of what counts as too much investment varies drastically between readers.

Two, it’s not always the best idea to minimise the necessary investment at all costs. Generally, engagement with art asks something of us, and that’s part of the appeal. Minimum-effort books do have their appeal and their place, in the same way that idle games or repetitive sitcoms have their appeal and their place, but the memorable stories, the ones that have staying power and provide real value, are the ones that ask something of the reader. If they’re not investing anything, they have no incentive to engage, and you’re just filling in time. This commandment does not exist to tell you to try to ask nothing of your audience – you should be asking something of your audience. It exists to tell you to respect that investment. Know what you’re asking of your audience, and make sure that the ask is less than the payoff.

The other way to respect the investment is of course to focus on a great payoff. Make those characters socially fascinating, make that sacrifice emotionally rending, make the answer to that mystery intellectually fulfilling. If you can make the investment worth it, they’ll enjoy your story. And if you consistently make their investment worth it, you build trust, and they’ll be willing to invest more next time, which means you can ask more of them and give them an even better payoff. Audience trust is a very precious currency and this is how you build it – be worth their time.

But how do you know what your audience does and doesn’t consider an onerous investment? And how do you know what kinds of payoff they’ll find rewarding? Easy – they self-sort. Part of your job is telling your audience what to expect from you as soon as you can, so that if it’s not for them, they’ll leave, and if it is, they’ll invest and appreciate the return. (“Oh but I want as many people reading my story as possible!” No, you don’t. If you want that, you can write paint-by-numbers common denominator mass appeal fic. What you want is the audience who will enjoy your story; everyone else is a waste of time, and is in fact, detrimental to your success, because if they don’t like your story then they’re likely to be bad marketing. You want these people to bounce off and leave before you disappoint them. Don’t try to trick them into staying around.) Your audience should know, very early on, what kind of an experience they’re in for, what the tone will be, the genre and character(s) they’re going to follow, that sort of thing. The first couple of chapters of Time to Orbit: Unknown, for example, are a micro-example of the sorts of mysteries that Aspen will be dealing with for most of the book, as well as a sample of their character voice, the way they approach problems, and enough of their background, world and behaviour for the reader to decide if this sort of story is for them. We also start the story with some mildly graphic medical stuff, enough physics for the reader to determine the ‘hardness’ of the scifi, and about the level of physical risk that Aspen will be putting themselves at for most of the book. This is all important information for a reader to have.

If you are mindful of the investment your readers are making, mindful of the value of the payoff, and honest with them about both from the start so that they can decide whether the story is for them, you can respect their investment and make sure they have a good time.

3: Thou Shalt Not Make Thy World Less Interesting

This one’s really about payoff, but it’s important enough to be its own commandment. It relates primarily to twists, reveals, worldbuilding, and killing off storylines or characters. One mistake that I see new writers make all the time is that they tank the engagement of their story by introducing a cool fun twist that seems so awesome in the moment and then… is a major letdown, because the implications make the world less interesting.

“It was all a dream” twists often fall into this trap. Contrary to popular opinion, I think these twists can be done extremely well. I’ve seen them done extremely well. The vast majority of the time, they’re very bad. They’re bad because they take an interesting world and make it boring. The same is true of poorly thought out, shocking character deaths – when you kill a character, you kill their potential, and if they’re a character worth killing in a high impact way then this is always a huge sacrifice on your part. Is it worth it? Will it make the story more interesting? Similarly, if your bad guy is going to get up and gloat ‘Aha, your quest was all planned by me, I was working in the shadows to get you to acquire the Mystery Object since I could not! You have fallen into my trap! Now give me the Mystery Object!’, is this a more interesting story than if the protagonist’s journey had actually been their own unmanipulated adventure? It makes your bad guy look clever and can be a cool twist, but does it mean that all those times your protagonist escaped the bad guy’s men by the skin of his teeth, he was being allowed to escape? Are they retroactively less interesting now?

Whether these twists work or not will depend on how you’ve constructed the rest of your story. Do they make your world more or less interesting?

If you have the audience’s trust, it’s permissible to make your world temporarily less interesting. You can kill off the cool guy with the awesome plan, or make it so that the Chosen One wasn’t actually the Chosen One, or even have the main character wake up and find out it was all a dream, and let the reader marinate in disappointment for a little while before you pick it up again and turn things around so that actually, that twist does lead to a more interesting story! But you have to pick it up again. Don’t leave them with the version that’s less interesting than the story you tanked for the twist. The general slop of interest must trend upward, and your sacrifices need to all lead into the more interesting world. Otherwise, your readers will be disappointed, and their experience will be tainted.

Whenever I’m looking at a new piece of writing advice, I view it through these three rules. Is this plot still delivering on the book’s purpose, or have I gone off the rails somewhere and just stared writing random stuff? Does making this character ‘more relateable’ help or hinder that goal? Does this argument with the protagonists’ mother tell the reader anything or lead to any useful payoff; is it respectful of their time? Will starting in medias res give the audience an accurate view of the story and help them decide whether to invest? Does this big twist that challenges all the assumptions we’ve made so far imply a world that is more or less interesting than the world previously implied?

Hopefully these can help you, too.

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ye4gerz · 5 months ago

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my game, your rules. — ldh part one

‧˚⭒ pairing: lee donghyuck x afab reader 18+MDNI ‧˚⭒ genre: brothers best friend au! fake dating! friends to lovers! humor! fluff! angst! smut![later chap] adult life au! jenos sister! flirty hc! ‧˚⭒ word count: 6.2k+ ‧˚⭒ summary: you’re fed up with your family constantly telling you how to live your life, but what would they think if you showed up with your brother’s best friend as your new boyfriend? even worse—what happens when you realize you’re actually falling for him?

‧˚⭒ authors note: thank you to everyone who has been patient with me about this first chapter! i get very picky when i start a series so i want this to be good lmao. the following chapters will have more scenes of haechan & reader alone + spicy scenes. enjoy!

“You need to start dating,” Jeno declared, leaning casually against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed in that infuriatingly self-assured way. His tone was light, but the furrow in his brow betrayed the weight behind his words. It was the look he reserved for when he was teetering between overprotective brother and responsible older sibling, a role he took far too seriously.

“You know, focus on your future. Relationships are part of growing up,” he continued, his voice a mix of concern and exasperation. “You’re always so… wrapped up in your career goals, like it’s the only thing that matters.”

You didn’t bother to look up from your water, slowly stirring the cup in circles just to give your hands something to do. It was easier to focus on the swirling liquid than on the predictable lecture coming from across the kitchen.

“Because it is the only thing that matters,” you muttered, finally glancing up at him.

Jeno shook his head, letting out a sigh that sounded like he’d been holding it in for days. “See, that’s the problem. You don’t even let yourself breathe. You’re like this… robot. You study, you work, you plan, but you never actually live.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning back against the counter with a scoff. “I’m living just fine, thanks. I don’t need a boyfriend to validate that.”

“Yeah, but fine isn’t great,” he countered, his voice tinged with frustration. “Don’t you want more than just… surviving? More than being a robot. Have some fun for once. Mom and Dad are already asking questions about your future, and honestly, I don’t know what to tell them anymore.”

There it was—the guilt card. You clenched your jaw, your grip tightening on the cup. You hated when he brought them into it.

“Tell them I’m happy focusing on my career,” you said flatly.

Jeno’s lips twitched in irritation. “You always say that like it’s the answer to everything, but you’re a full grown adult now. When are you going to start thinking about what comes after that? It’s not just about work. It’s about connecting with people, about building a life beyond just deadlines.”

You let out a bitter laugh. “Easy for you to say, ‘Mr. Social Butterfly’. Not all of us have an endless pool of friends and a girlfriend who adores us.”

Jeno’s expression softened, but the determination in his eyes didn’t waver. “It’s not about comparing. It’s about balance, and you don’t have it.”

Silence hung heavy in the room as you stared at him, your mind racing. It wasn’t like you hadn’t thought about it before—how different you were from Jeno, how you buried yourself in work and ambitions while he seemed to glide effortlessly through life with equal parts charm and ease; but that was the thing: dating, love, relationships… they felt like unnecessary complications. You couldn’t afford complications right now.

“I don’t want to date, Jeno,” you said finally, your voice quieter but no less firm. “I’m doing fine without distractions.”

Jeno watched you for a moment, his frustration giving way to something softer. A mixture of disappointment and worry settled in his eyes, but he didn’t press further. Instead, he just shook his head again, pushing off the counter and heading for the living room.

“I just don’t want you to look back one day and realize you missed out. Everyone is growing up and moving on with their lives. Don’t you want to do the same?” he said over his shoulder.

You bit the inside of your cheek, staring into your glass cup like it held the answer to everything, but all it reflected back was the swirl of water and your own reflection as you see in your face is uncertainty.

“You know, I just don’t get you sometimes,” Jeno muttered as he sat on the couch. “You work harder than anyone I know, but it’s like you never let yourself actually live your life.”

You didn’t respond. Instead, you stared into space, your earlier irritation now mingling with something heavier—jealousy.

Your brother had always been the golden child: graduating with honors, landing a stable job right after college, and maintaining a healthy, long-term relationship with his perfect girlfriend. Even now, as you both shared an apartment, Jeno somehow made time to work out, hang out with friends, and take his girlfriend on weekly dates. He was everything your parents wanted in a child, the one they bragged about during family gatherings.

And you? You’d barely made it through college. Your GPA was nothing to write home about, and the only reason you’d graduated on time was because Karina practically dragged you across the finish line. Now, you were working as a paid intern at a company you desperately wanted to stay at full-time, but no matter how many late nights you pulled, how many extra tasks you volunteered for, it felt like you were running in place.

It was exhausting, and you were tired of hearing the same thing from your family: “Look at Jeno, he’s figured it out. Why can’t you?”

“I just don’t want to waste time,” you finally said, breaking the silence.

Jeno reappeared in the doorway, now pulling a jacket over his shoulders. “What are you wasting time on?”

You hesitated, shrugging. “Anything that doesn’t help me get ahead. That’s why I don’t care about dating. It’s just… another thing to manage.”

Jeno sighed, shaking his head, but he didn’t argue this time. “Well, Karina’s got her work cut out for her keeping you sane.”

“She’s not my therapist,” you shot back, though your tone lacked bite.

“Could’ve fooled me,” he teased, grabbing his keys. “Speaking of which, we’re supposed to meet everyone at the arcade in twenty minutes. You ready?”

You glanced down at your oversized hoodie and sweatpants. “Obviously not.”

“Get changed, then. Make it quick—Mark’s always late anyway, but Haechan will make fun of you if we’re late too.”

You huffed, dragging yourself to your room to throw on something presentable. After rummaging through your closet, you found something decently acceptable and slipped it on. Jeno was right—that was something you already knew—but it wasn’t what you wanted. Why did you have to follow Jeno’s formula for life when you wanted to create your own? Just to please your parents?

You put your hair up in a clip and sighed, watching your reflection in the mirror. The smile you’d worn before this conversation had clearly faded. All you could do was your best and hope it would be enough—but for now, skee-ball sounded better.

The flashing lights and hum of arcade machines filled the air as you and Jeno stepped inside. It was lively and chaotic, with the clinking of coins, bursts of laughter, and the occasional celebratory shout from someone winning a game. You stuffed your hands into your jacket pockets, already bracing yourself for the energy of Jeno’s friend group and looking around for Karina.

Sure enough, you spotted the guys near the basketball shooting game. Chenle was locked in a heated competition with Mark, who was flailing dramatically every time he missed a shot. Haechan, of course, was standing nearby, cheering and making exaggerated comments to throw them off their game.

“You’re late!” Chenle called out, pausing mid-shot to wave as you and Jeno approached.

“And you’re losing,” Haechan teased, pointing at Chenle’s score with a smug grin.

Chenle glared at him but turned his attention back to you, his smile warming. “Hey! Looks like you finally decided to join us?”

“Not like I had a choice,” you replied dryly, nudging Jeno with your elbow.

“Aw, come on,” Mark chimed in, abandoning the game as Chenle claimed victory. “We’re way more fun than whatever you’d be doing at home.”

You shrugged. “Debatable.”

“Debatable?” Haechan repeated, his eyebrows shooting up. “You’re in the presence of greatness. We’ve got Chenle, the reigning basketball champ, Mark, the king of being–uh Mark, and me—your personal highlight of the night.”

You rolled your eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at your lips. “Personal highlight? You mean my personal headache.”

Haechan placed a hand over his heart, feigning offense. “Your words wound me.”

Before the banter could continue, a familiar voice called out from behind you.

“There you are!” Karina waved excitedly as she emerged from the crowd, a handful of tokens jingling in her hand.

“Karina!” Relief flooded you as you met her halfway, grateful for the excuse to escape the chaos of Jeno’s friends for a moment.

“Sorry, boys, but she’s all mine now! We’ll be back when you finally decide to exchange your tickets into plushies for both of us,” Karina says with a grin as she takes your hand.

The guys groaned, all except Haechan, who smiled and looked directly at you. “Sounds like a challenge, but whatever you say.”

Even though you didn’t say anything, it almost felt like he made that promise just for you. Before you could respond, however, Karina had already dragged you to the other side of the arcade.

“You know,” she began as the two of you wandered toward a quieter corner of the place, “it’s kind of adorable how Haechan never stops teasing you.”

You groaned, rolling your eyes. “Adorable is not the word I’d use. Annoying, maybe.”

Karina raised an eyebrow, a sly smile spreading across her face. “Come on, admit it. He’s kind of cute when he does it.”

“He’s not cute,” you replied quickly, but the way your lips twitched betrayed the truth.

Karina caught it immediately, letting out a dramatic gasp. “Oh my god, you’re smiling! You like it, don’t you?”

“No,” you insisted, though the small grin lingered despite your best efforts. “I just think it’s funny how full of himself he is. That’s all.”

Karina hummed, unconvinced, but thankfully didn’t press further. Instead, she dragged you toward the skee-ball machines, determined to beat your score from your last arcade outing.

After playing a few rounds of skee-ball with Karina, you found yourself back with Jeno’s group. The familiar chaos resumed as Mark and Chenle challenged each other to yet another round of basketball, their shouts and laughter echoing through the arcade. Jeno, meanwhile, had stationed himself at the claw machine, laser-focused on grabbing a plush toy for his girlfriend.

You stood off to the side, sipping on a soda, when Haechan appeared beside you.

“Not joining in?” he asked, leaning casually against the railing.

“Not really my thing,” you admitted, gesturing to the flashing chaos around you.

“Let me guess,” he said, tilting his head with a teasing grin. “You’d rather be home working, right?”

“Maybe,” you replied, narrowing your eyes at him.

Haechan shook his head, laughing softly. “You’re too predictable, ya know.”

“Excuse me?” you shot back, crossing your arms.

“I’m just saying,” he continued, his tone softer now. “You don’t always have to be locked up in your room. It’s okay to let loose every now and then.”

His gaze lingered on you a little longer than necessary, and you suddenly felt the urge to look away. There was something unnerving about how easily he could read you, something that made you feel exposed in a way you weren’t used to.

“There’s something else bothering you—I can tell. You know you can’t hide these things from me. What’s wrong?” he asked, his tone full of concern.

You didn’t know how he managed to do that so effortlessly: reading you without you having to say a word. The friendship between you two was something Jeno wasn’t really aware of. As far as your brother knew, you and Haechan were just acquaintances, but since Jeno never really tried to pay attention to your personal life, he had no idea about the real bond you shared with his best friend.

You sighed. “Jeno had a stupid talk with me about my future and our parents. Apparently, they want me to find someone to settle down with and eventually move out.”

You shrugged, your frustration evident. “It’s stupid stuff. Jeno probably just wants me to move out so he can live with his girlfriend. I don’t understand how he can live such a perfect life, but when I’m in the middle of trying to build my own, my family would rather I focus on finding a relationship instead.”

Haechan nodded, listening intently, his expression encouraging you to continue venting. “Well,” he said carefully, “what do you think you can do to calm them down a bit? I mean, I know this isn’t the first time this conversation has come up. Jen’s just worried you’ll end up alone, and as annoying as he can be, he’s only trying to protect you. You also can’t hold him back forever.”

“But that’s the thing!” you exclaimed, throwing up your hands. “I never asked for anyone to look out for me! I can handle it myself—it’ll just take time,” you huffed, frustration bubbling up inside you.

“If only I had a boyfriend so they’d lay off and let me keep doing my own thing,” you muttered, frowning.

And just like that, something shifted in Haechan’s expression. A flicker of light flashed in his eyes, his smirk softening into something more serious.

“What if we dated?” he asked.

Your jaw dropped as Haechan’s words hung in the air. For a moment, you wondered if you’d misheard him.

“W-What?” you finally managed to say, blinking at him like he’d just suggested the most absurd thing in the world.

He shrugged, his usual smirk creeping back onto his face, though his eyes held a glimmer of something softer. “I’m serious. What if we fake dated? It would solve your problem with Jeno and your parents, and you wouldn’t have to worry about them nagging you anymore.”

You stared at him, trying to make sense of his offer, trying to find the joke. “But… why? What would you even get out of it?”

Haechan leaned against the arcade railing, crossing his arms as if he had already anticipated the question. “Think about it,” he said smoothly. “If we fake date, I’ll finally have an excuse to stop all these random girls from hitting on me. They’re relentless, you know,” he added with a dramatic sigh. “Plus, it’ll be fun messing with Jeno. Watching him freak out over us? Priceless.”

You frowned, searching his face for any sign that he was joking, but he seemed completely serious—or at least as serious as Haechan could be.

He must have noticed your hesitation because he straightened up, softening his tone. “Look, you don’t have to decide right now. Think about it and text me when you’ve made up your mind. No pressure.”

Before you could respond, a familiar voice broke through the moment.

“Hey guys!” Karina called, waving excitedly as she approached with the rest of the group. “Come on, we’re heading to the ticket counter! Time to claim our winnings!”

Mark and Chenle followed behind her, grinning as they displayed their handfuls of tickets like trophies. Jeno trailed behind, already scanning the prize wall with a competitive gleam in his eye.

Haechan gave you one last look, his usual playful smirk firmly back in place, before Karina grabbed your arm and dragged you toward the prize counter.

“Come on!” she said, practically bouncing with excitement. “You and I are picking out matching plushies, and I won’t take no for an answer.”

You let yourself get pulled into the chaos, trying to shake off the conversation you’d just had with Haechan. Even as you laughed at Mark’s dramatic attempts to win more tickets and listened to Karina gush over the prizes, your mind kept circling back to Haechan’s offer.

Fake dating him? Pretending to be in a relationship with Jeno’s best friend? It was ridiculous. It would never work… would it?

Out of the corner of your eye, you caught Haechan glancing at you as he helped Chenle argue with the clerk over how many tickets they actually needed for a giant stuffed bear. His expression was unreadable, but there was something about the way he looked at you that made your stomach flutter in a way you didn’t want to acknowledge.

As Karina handed you a small plush cat she’d picked out for you, you forced yourself to focus on the present. You’d think about Haechan’s offer later—when your heart wasn’t racing from his lingering gaze.

As you were getting ready to leave the arcade, you made your way around to say goodbye to everyone, saving Karina for last. She pulled you into a tight hug, her usual warmth and energy radiating.

“Chenle’s dropping me off, so no worries!” Karina reassured, squeezing your shoulder. “Goodnight, girl. I’ll text you when I’m home, okay? Love you!” With a bright smile, she walked alongside Chenle towards his car, chatting animatedly as they disappeared into the parking lot.

Jeno was already waiting in the car, the faint hum of the engine indicating he was warming it up while you finished your goodbyes. You made your way toward the passenger side, but just as you reached for the handle, someone called your name.

“Wait up!”

You turned, brows furrowed in confusion, only to see Haechan jogging up to you, his grin unmistakable even under the glow of the arcade lights.

“Before you go, I wanted to give you this,” he said, holding up a small keychain. It was a brown bear with a slightly open mouth, its expression as adorable as it was silly.

Your eyes widened in surprise. “Haechan… what is this?”

“It’s the only thing I could get with my tickets,” he said with a smirk. “I told you I’d take the challenge.”

You blinked at him, your face flushing as you took the keychain from his outstretched hand. The little bear felt warm in your palm, its tiny eyes staring up at you.

“I think we should name him Gomdo,” he added, his voice light but his gaze lingering on you.

Your jaw dropped slightly, caught off guard by his thoughtfulness. “Thank you, Haechan. You didn’t have to do this.”

He shrugged, his smile softening. “Maybe I wanted to.” Then, leaning in close, he brought his lips to your ear, his voice dropping to a low murmur. “Remember what we talked about. I’ll be ready to hear your answer.”

Before you could respond, he leaned back, flashing you one last smile before turning and walking away towards Mark's car, his hands casually stuffed into his pockets. You stared after him for a moment, your heart beating faster than you’d like to admit.

Feeling flustered, you tucked the little bear into your purse, its presence somehow both comforting and unnerving as you climbed into the car.

Jeno glanced at you curiously as you settled into the seat. “What was that about?”

You forced a casual chuckle, waving it off. “Oh, he just wanted to brag about how he spent his tickets.”

Jeno seemed to accept your explanation with a shrug, turning his attention back to the road as he shifted the car into gear. Meanwhile, you sat quietly, your hand brushing against your purse where Gomdo was tucked away.

Haechan’s words replayed in your mind, his grin lingering longer than you wanted it to.

You spent the entire night tossing and turning in your bed, unable to shut your mind off. Every time you closed your eyes, Haechan’s offer replayed in your head, his voice lingering in the quiet of your room. Since your shower, you’d been fixated on making a mental list of pros and cons, but the more you thought about it, the more tangled your thoughts became.

When the clock struck midnight and you were still wide awake, you reached for your phone, anxiety thrumming in your chest. Your thumb hovered over the screen as doubt clawed at you.

Would this really be the right choice? Would it even be worth it in the end?

You rationalized the situation for the hundredth time. By the time you eventually moved up in your career, you could always fake a breakup with Haechan. It could serve as a final point to your family—that you didn’t need a relationship or the promise of a family of your own to find happiness.

The thought of proving them wrong—of showing them that your career and personal goals mattered more than societal expectations—burned away your worries, leaving only determination.

Without realizing it, your fingers started moving on their own, tapping out a message on the screen. Haechan’s name sat at the top of the chat, glowing faintly in the dim light of your phone.

You: I’m in. We can start later today.

For a moment, silence stretched around you, broken only by the faint hum of your phone vibrating against your comforter a few minutes later.

HC: I knew you’d come around, babe. We’ll talk more details in the morning. Sleep well, my girlfriend ;)

You stared at the message, your lips twitching into a reluctant smile despite yourself. Leave it to Haechan to throw in a wink and a nickname like it was second nature.

Sliding your phone onto your nightstand, you sank back into your pillows, a strange mix of nerves and excitement settling over you. It wasn’t real—none of it would be real—but with Haechan officially as your unofficial boyfriend, it felt like you were stepping into something bigger than either of you realized.

And for the first time that night, your eyes grew heavy, the weight of the decision no longer keeping you awake.

“You’re what?!” Jeno’s voice shot up, laced with disbelief as he stared at the two of you in shock.

“I’m sorry, Jen,” you said, your voice wavering as you tried to sound as convincing as possible. “I really wanted to tell you earlier, but I needed to talk it over with Hyuck first.” You glanced at Haechan, hoping that using a part of his birth name might soften Jeno’s skepticism.

Haechan met your gaze with a confident smile before turning back to Jeno. Without missing a beat, he intertwined his fingers with yours, holding your hand firmly. “It’s real, bro. I’m sorry we didn’t say anything sooner, but we wanted to be sure before telling you. I’ve never felt a connection like this with anyone else.”

His tone was steady and sincere as he continued. “She’s beautiful, but it’s not just that. She grounds me, man. She makes me smile, even when everything feels like it’s falling apart. She’s worth everything and more.”

For a moment, you were stunned. The way he spoke—his words, his expression—was so genuine that it made your heart skip a beat. For a split second, you almost believed him.

Jeno, however, wasn’t buying it just yet. “This is so weird,” he muttered, rubbing his temples as he took in the sight of you and Haechan holding hands. “I told you to get a boyfriend, but Haechan? Seriously? Out of all people?”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Haechan’s posture straightened, his mock offense laced with just enough humor to lighten the tension.

Jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. “No offense, dude, but you’re the last person I’d want dating my sister. I mean, look at you two—standing there, holding hands, looking all… infatuated. It’s just—it doesn’t make sense to me.” He flopped onto the couch, his face contorted in bewilderment.

Haechan tightened his grip on your hand, his voice unwavering as he said, “Well, nothing’s going to change how I feel about her. I might be your best friend, but I promise you—I’m going to be the best, and only, boyfriend your sister will ever need.”

You took a deep breath, stepping in to support Haechan’s story. “And it’s not like we’re rushing into this, Jeno. We’ve already been on dates! Remember a few weeks ago when I left work early and told you I had a headache? That was actually because I was so nervous about a date with Hyuck that I needed extra time to get ready. Oh! And the night at the arcade! He wasn’t bragging about his tickets–he actually got me a teddy bear!”

Jeno groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. “It’s still… weird. But hey, if you’re treating her right, and if you’re both happy—who am I to judge?” He looked between the two of you, his expression still full of disbelief but softening slightly. “I guess I’ll let Mom and Dad know unless you want to do it yourselves. I just need a minute to process this…”

He stood up, shaking his head as he started to leave the room. Before walking out, he threw a glance at you and Haechan, his brows furrowing.

“You can tell them if you want,” you said, trying to sound casual. “Just make sure you tell them the most important part—we’re happy together.”

You turned to Haechan, offering him a small smile that he returned easily. For all the absurdity of this fake relationship, in that moment, it almost felt real.

Jeno shot you and Haechan one last skeptical look before heading to his room to call your parents with the news. The sound of his door locking was like a signal, and the moment it clicked, you yanked your hand out of Haechan’s grip, wiping your palm aggressively on his sleeve.

“What was that for?” he asked, feigning offense as he inspected his now slightly wrinkled sleeve.

“You have sweaty palms! At least give me a heads-up if you’re going to go completely off script!” you hissed, your voice low but sharp. “What even was all that? We practiced everything for nothing!”

Haechan leaned back, his expression unbothered. “Hey, it worked, didn’t it? He totally bought it. You’re lucky we didn’t have to pull out the photos too!”

You narrowed your eyes, his smugness only fueling your irritation. The “photos” he was referring to were ones he insisted you take during your so-called “official unofficial dates” to sell the story. At the time, you’d rolled your eyes at the idea, but Haechan had been adamant.

“What kind of relationship would we be in if we didn’t have any photos or memories together? Are you trying to get caught?” he had said during one of your early planning sessions, his tone half-joking but entirely serious.

And to your frustration, he wasn’t wrong.

“Don’t forget,” he added now, a playful smirk tugging at his lips, “those photos got you free food and drinks too. Having a girlfriend is so expensive, by the way. I should start invoicing you.”

You groaned, resisting the urge to smack his arm. “Well, luckily for you, this fake relationship has an expiration date. You won’t have to deal with me for much longer.”

Haechan rubbed the arm you’d just wiped your hand on, exaggerating the motion. “You’re the one making this hard, you know. I’m just trying to be the best fake boyfriend you’ll ever have.”

Despite yourself, a laugh slipped out, and you let out a deep breath, some of the tension from the past few weeks melting away. “In all seriousness, though,” you said, softening your tone, “I really appreciate this. I just… I need a little breathing room from them.”

Haechan’s playful expression faded, replaced by something gentler. “Hey, I get it. That’s what I’m here for, right?”

For a moment, you found yourself caught in his gaze, surprised by the sincerity in his words. Then, as if sensing the shift, he clapped his hands together and grinned. “Now, do I get a thank-you for my oscar-worthy performance, or what?”

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help the small smile creeping onto your face. “Thank you, Hyuck,” you muttered begrudgingly.

“Louder for the people in the back?”

“Don’t push it.”

He smiled at you, and for a brief moment, you swore your heart did something strange—something you weren’t ready to acknowledge. You quickly brushed it off, telling yourself it was just the adrenaline of lying to your brother.

A blush crept onto your face, but you shook it away, turning your attention elsewhere. “So, what’s your plan for the rest of the day?” you asked, hoping to steer the conversation to safer ground.

Haechan shrugged casually before plopping himself down on your couch. Without a second thought, he grabbed the leftover bag of chips Jeno had abandoned earlier and began munching away, his hand already reaching for the remote.

“What kind of movie are you feeling tonight?” he asked as he scrolled through Netflix like he owned the place.

You blinked at him, baffled. “Um, why? And what are you doing?”

He glanced at you, feigning innocence. “I’m your boyfriend, aren’t I? As your boyfriend, we should actually spend more time together—to, you know, make a point. What kind of man would I be if I didn’t spend time with my girl?” He punctuated the sentence with a playful wink and puckered his lips dramatically in your direction.

“You’re impossible, you know that?” you muttered, fighting back a smile as you sat down beside him. With a quick motion, you yanked the bag of chips out of his hands and into your own. “And the answer is thriller.”

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth as he draped his arm lazily over your shoulders, making himself more comfortable. “Good call. If you get scared, don’t hesitate to lean on me, baby. I’ll protect you.”

“Wow, just like that, you ruined the moment,” you shot back, rolling your eyes. “Now play the movie before I change my mind.”

Despite your words, you couldn’t help but feel at ease. Sitting beside him, the banter flowing so naturally, felt… comfortable. More comfortable than you had expected.

Of course, you still weren’t used to Haechan calling you pet names, but the way they rolled off his tongue with such ease made you think you could eventually get used to it—out of necessity, of course. At least, that’s what you told yourself as the movie began playing and the two of you settled in, perhaps a bit too close together.

It has been almost a week since the announcement at your place. A whole week of spending more time with Haechan than you ever thought you would.

You pouted as you walked beside him, your breath visible in the freezing air. Haechan, ever observant, noticed immediately.

“What’s with you?” he asked, tilting his head toward you.

“What’s with me is that I wanted to stay late at work to finish up some paperwork and presentations,” you huffed. “Yet here I am, being dragged out of the office to get freaking ice cream.”

“Again, what’s the problem here? Sounds more like a blessing to me,” Haechan replied with a smirk, his tone brimming with pride. “Also, don’t blame me. Jeno’s the one who called and asked me to pick you up after work. I just figured we could grab some ice cream on the way back.”

You shot him a skeptical look, squinting at him. “It’s freezing outside, and you thought ice cream was a good idea?”

“Can’t help thinking about sweet thoughts when all I think about is you,” he said with a wink, nudging your arm.

Your face immediately heated, and you turned your head sharply to hide your blush. “You’re irritating, and you don’t need to flirt with me when Jeno isn’t around, it’s not necessary,” you muttered, but your voice lacked the bite you intended.

Haechan laughed, the sound warm and teasing. “Oh, but it is, you’re so easy to make blush. It’s cute.”

“Yeah, whatever,” you responded, rolling your eyes, though your heart raced at his words.

The two of you stepped into the small corner ice cream shop, its warmth a welcome contrast to the bitter cold outside. You had no intention of actually enjoying yourself, but the cozy atmosphere and the way Haechan seemed genuinely excited made it harder to stay annoyed.

He leaned casually against the counter, studying the menu like it was the most important decision of his life. “Cookies and cream, right?”

You blinked, “how’d you know?”

He shrugged, flashing you a playful grin. “I pay attention. You’re predictable, remember?”

“Predictable?” you echoed, crossing your arms.

He nodded confidently. “Cookies and cream ice cream, oversized hoodies, snarky attitude—you’re like a walking checklist.”

You opened your mouth to retort but stopped when you noticed his smug grin. He wanted you to argue. If there’s anything he enjoyed just as much as making you blush, it was definitely getting under your skin. Instead, you huffed, turning your attention to the menu.

Minutes later, you sat by the window with your cone, the soft glow of the shop’s lights reflecting off the glass. Haechan plopped down across from you, licking his strawberry ice cream with a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm.

“You look ridiculous,” you said, unable to hide your grin.

“Yet, here you are, enjoying my company,” he shot back.

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t deny it—he had a point.

As the conversation drifted to lighter topics, you found yourself laughing more than you’d expected. Haechan had a way of making even the simplest stories entertaining, his animated expressions and dramatic gestures drawing you in, distracting you of the outside world.

It wasn’t just his humor. It was the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled, the way his voice softened when he teased you gently. There was a warmth to him, a genuine charm that you hadn’t fully noticed before.

Your gaze lingered on him for a moment too long, and when he caught you staring, his smirk widened.

“See something you like?” he asked, leaning forward slightly.

Your face burned, and you quickly looked down at your ice cream. “In your dreams.”

“Every night,” he quipped, his tone teasing but his gaze steady.

You forced a laugh, but your heart wasn’t cooperating. It thudded against your chest, each beat reminding you of a truth you didn’t want to face.

Don’t fall for it. You can’t.

The cold air nipped at your skin as you eventually walked side by side down the quiet streets. Despite the chill, the warmth in your chest hadn’t faded. It was unsettling.

Haechan’s hands were shoved into his jacket pockets, his steps light and unhurried. “You’ve been quiet. What are you thinking about? Is it because of my incredibly good looks?”

You snorted, shaking your head, “don’t flatter yourself.”

He stopped abruptly, turning to face you with an exaggerated gasp. “You are thinking about me!”

“Am not!” you protested, but the heat rising to your cheeks betrayed you.

“Liar,” he teased, stepping closer. “You’re thinking about how irresistible I am. Admit it.”

You glared at him, your lips twitching despite your best efforts. “You’re delusional.”

“You’re avoiding the question.”

When you finally reached your apartment, you turned to thank him, but the words caught in your throat when you saw the way he was looking at you.

Haechan’s teasing demeanor had melted away, replaced by something softer, genuine. His dark eyes locked on yours, and the playful smirk that usually graced his lips was absent. His soft eyes grazed you up and down with something much more than just friendship.

Your breath hitched as he stepped closer, his gaze flickering to your lips for just a moment before returning to your eyes.

For a split second, you thought he might kiss you, and the realization sent a rush of panic through you. Before either of you could move, the door behind you swung open.

Jeno stood there, keys in hand, his expression caught somewhere between annoyance and amusement.

“Well,” he said, glancing between the two of you, “this is awkward.”

You stepped back quickly, clearing your throat. “Jeno, we were just—”

“Save it,” Jeno interrupted, smirking. “I gotta say, though, you two are starting to convince me. The way you look at each other? Pretty obvious.”

“Obvious?” you echoed, your voice slightly higher than intended.

“Yeah, obvious,” Jeno said, stepping past you. “Anyway, I’m heading out to the gym with Jaemin. Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” He shot Haechan a pointed look before walking down the hallway.

Haechan grinned, leaning casually against the doorframe. “Told you we’re convincing.”

“Shut up,” you muttered, stepping inside quickly.

That night, as you lay in bed, you couldn’t stop replaying the moment at the door. The way Haechan looked at you, the way he leaned in—it was all too much.

You pressed a pillow to your face, groaning, but then your phone buzzed with a text from him:

HC: Sweet dreams, pretty girl <3

You felt your heart betray you again, skipping a beat. You push all of this down, swearing to yourself to lock this feeling away and forget about it.

You reminded yourself, you needed to focus on yourself and keep up this game until your family stopped pestering you. Once they meet him and a couple of months have passed, you can end things and finally be free of him. At least, that’s what you told yourself.

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tadc-harlequin-au · 10 months ago

Text

New Puppet Unlocked: Caine, The Puppetmaster!

Caine's character description:

For the longest time, Caine believed that he was the only Puppet left who hasn't gone insane, and has spent living in near complete and total isolation for it (if it weren't for Bubble, his robotic Butler Blimp), drowning himself in booze for what seemed to be the remainder of his days.

That was, until Pomni suddenly arrived at his office out of nowhere and challenged him.

Her sudden appearance, her fierceness in battle and various other reasons, Caine sought to get Pomni to see the dire situation after a stalemate in their duel; That they're the last remnants of sane minds remaining in this forsaken lands and he needs her help for what must be done next, if they are to improve the world's conditions. Thankfully, the Harlequin was not actually cold-hearted, just hot-tempered.

Reinvigorated in his self-assigned purpose, The Puppetmaster now spends his time either indoctrinating reawakened Puppets and teaching them how to become "human" once more, tinkering/inventing new machines, having friendly debates or sparring with Pomni just to satisfy her urge to battle, and various other things.

Though, he still likes to drink.

Fun facts about Caine:

He is a massive drunkard.

He passes out in the most random places if he drinks too much. One of the most outrageous locations Pomni has found him in was at the chandelier on the main lounge, which even he can't remember how he got there.

Caine still acts boisterous and speaks mostly formally; though there are ways you can break his way of speech, the easiest way to do it is to surprise him.

He avoids using swears, says it's a gentleman's code. Though, some get past his mouth on a rare occasion.

He created Bubble out of loneliness, initially just wanting someone to talk to.

In a comedic parallel, he tends to limit Pomni's cravings for battle by holding her sword hostage as much as possible, of course to the Harlequin's frustration.

His second gold tooth on his bottom jaw was a result of his and Pomni's first meeting/duel. She ended up kicking him so hard in her rage, one teeth cracked in half and flew off.

He tends to look at everyone with a positive mindset and the want to see the best in them; although Jax seems to be a rare exception. Still, he lets the automaton be.

Most of his time is spent hanging around in his office. The only time you'll see him outside is if there's a task he needs to attend to, assembling Pomni back together in the cellar, another sparring match with the Harlequin, or when he talks to Z and/or Kingr, since they are both too big for the insides of the mansion.

Like almost every ADHD-person, he is prone to getting distracted easily.

He has a strict "no fighting in the premises" rule; instead, he tells them to literally take it outside (even if it means being on the neighboring lawn), as long as it's not on the INSIDE.

He keeps his shirt opened because he feels discomfort and suffocated when he buttons it up.

He doesn't like to talk about his past.

When asked what's his classification, he'll avoid and switch topics. His rare anger (but eerily-calm way of speech) comes out when you ask about it too much.

He does admit that his entire body was self-modified.

You can hear his arrival in a scene by the sounds of ball joints slightly cracking in place.

Aside from Pomni, he likes Kingr the most, finding the chess piece's presence calming. This has lead to jokes about a bromance happening between the two.

And just like Pomni as well, Caine fixes Kingr the most because the Helpful King tends to use himself as a shield for the Harlequin.

He's rarely seen without his cane.

He HEAVILY dislikes it when Pomni dies. When he is aware that Pomni is at the brink of death, he'll start panicking and telling her to go back and abandon the mission for now, through Bubble.

After Pomni's surprise arrival (and proof that he could still be hunted down if he wasn't careful enough), he took the manor up to the skies to ensure that the manor remains a safe haven.

Quotes:

"Greetings! I am Caine, and I am here to help you. That's all you need to know."

"I think we can arrange that."

"This is not part of the plan!"

"No fighting! Take it outside."

"Perhaps we can reach to a sort of agreement..."

"Hmm... quite intriguing."

"Why, I must say, this is quite the predicament..."

"Will you be mindful of your own sake next time, pretty please?"

"... I don't-... think that's how-... you know what, do whatever you want."

"... Okay, you don't need to go that far."

"You know what this calls for? [...] A CELEBRATION! [...] BUBBLE, TO THE LIQUOR STORAGE"

"You know, I haven't really thought this through enough--"

"BUBBLE! Did you chew through my latest project again?!"

"Oy vey..."

"I am aware of the effect that alcohol has on me. And quite frankly, I don't care."

"Strange, where am I? Who am I? What are we, but mass-produced products catered to extending one's stay on a desolate, abandoned realm? Are we even human anymore, or are we machines that think we're human in order to save ourselves from the pain of a fake existence? Hm? Oh right, I haven't eaten my dinner."

"Must we really resort to this method?"

"Oh, I just fixed that!"

"Apologies, I blanked out for a second. What were we talking about?"

"Bubble here can help you out on your dilemma. Just don't listen to him for any advices. Personally, I think sometimes he can make you jump off a cliff."

"What do you mean "I need to stop drinking"? I'm perfectly fi- *passes out*"

"Am I aware that it is an unhealthy coping mechanism? Yes. Do I plan to stop? Not exactly, there aren't a lot of options left."

"That is outrageous! Me? With her? That's... It's... *sigh* I can't. She'd never."

"May I just say, for once, what the actual fuck."

#tadc #tadc au #harlequin au #tadc harlequin au #the amazing digital circus #caine #tadc caine #art #character description #Puppet!Caine #Puppetmaster!Caine #Harlequin Caine #character information

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prokopetz · 6 months ago

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A selection of promotional art for Violet Core, a forthcoming self-described "Romantic High Speed Sapphic Mecha TTRPG" by artist and writer @sarahcarapace, author of Death Spiral and visual designer for @cavegirlpoems' Dungeon Bitches. Violet Core takes its cues from Heaven Will Be Mine, Zone of the Enders and Knights of Sidonia, and plays like a tabletop dating sim with giant robot fights.

The game is currently entering the final 24 hours of its crowdfunding campaign, fully funded and having knocked down two substantial stretch goals in the last days: one for extra art (i.e., more of the above), and one to add an asymmetric play mode in which some but not all players pilot giant robots, explicitly including provisions for, in the author's own words, "handler and pilot toxic yuri" – a particular interest for many of this blog's followers, I'm given to understand!

With just under a day left to go, there are several additional stretch goals within striking distance; I've seen a lot of noise about the one for rules for combining robots (presumably also for yuri purposes), though the one I'm most keen on – a big stack of random encounter and event tables by the aforementioned @cavegirlpoems – is presently just $1700 AUD away. (Yes, I know I'm predictable; my love for Big Stupid Tables is well established.)

I'd love to see this one go the distance, so whether or not you're interested in supporting its campaign, if you happen to know anyone who might be in the market, please pass the word along!

(Art credit: excerpted pieces by @sarahcarapace, @portentous-offerings and @cryskir)

#gaming #tabletop roleplaying #tabletop rpgs #violet core #crowdfunding #kickstarter #violence mention #death mention #swearing

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honeqq · 7 months ago

Note

So about the 9th route can you tell him about the info of Ford's reincarnation . Like his name , traits and what's his new nickname like "Sixer" or something ?

Okay

Name : Clifford Yale (Mc)Griffith (edit : this is based by most liked suggestions and what I like the most Combine )

Age : 27

Profession : 'A human Artist'

Personality : Actually a very cheerful guy , sassy , cunning and but very insecure about himself

He's a Artist who fighting in a ERA that all kind of art are created by AI , music , performer , writer everything is made out of Robot! Even claim yourself as a self artist will get you mocked and sue ! He are this dissapointment of the family cuz pursuing art rather be a scientist or something cuz art? That robot's Jobs!! When his age reach 25 he keep on getting new memory that he sure are not his , he keep on getting this glimpse of journal hiding in the forest. That he finally Tryin to find after 2 years pass.. and found Journal 4th in now so called out park. He Intrigued with content of the book , another human drawing that he rarely seen in real life ! It's a diamond artifacts! He keep on reading about this "Muse" who inspired the Author who wrote this book and decided to summon him . Maybe that Muse can inspire him to created a masterpiece that a robot can't created , something that they never see and possible change rules about Human can't created art anymore and have the right for their own. And also hoping this muse can help him out of the Artblock and prove his parents they're wrong

He actually a straight A student throughout his school years but Alway been passionate with art . Maybe he's not A super mega smart he just think he need to be smart to please his parents. He have a older brother who the success businessman and the golden child, his brother believing in his dreams and fund him with all his need. So he technical jobless who spent his brother wealth so easily (I mean he grew up in a wealthy family so it's effect him )

Bill Actually ended call him sevener or Twelve because he doesn't want to associate him with sixer

#billford #mrbillpines #mr bill pines au #gravity falls #gravity falls au #bill cipher #stanfordpines #stanford pines

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honeytonedhottie · 9 months ago

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master list⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🎀🍰

BLOG RULES

loa content

my manifestation opinions

perfect princess affirmations

what do i manifest next

how to build confidence in urself as a creator

take the pressure OFF

you find the law for a reason

subtle saturation

breaking the cycle

how to ignore the 3D and be unbothered

how 2 stop a manifestation spiral

saturation challenge

girl get UP

lets talk manifestation

are u still obsessed with the 3D??

impossible is impossible

robotic affirming

imagination life is ur creation

reprogramming ur mind with affirmations

dolly saturation sessions : 1 2 3 4 5 6

trying to make a script

beauty and fashion content

products i love

effortlessly pretty

refresh, reboot shower routine

summertime beauty routines

lets talk skincare

extra self care routine

it girls guide to fragrance

soft skin 101

being creative with fashion

DIY beauty

all about fragrance

pink academic content

get ready to get back to school

my back to school list

exam prep

how to be a whole new student this school year (MASTERPOST)

financial literacy

wellbeing content

things that make me feel clean and fresh

lessons in protecting ur peace

to be a little healthier

how to protect urself and stop breaking ur own heart

what i learned during my reflection period

reset, refresh, move on

maintaining the mind

girl exorcism

slow morning routine

ways to look after ur mental well being

dealing with ur period

how to embrace being alone

starting ur healing journey

romanticizing ur night routine

self improvement content

how i manage multiple interests

how to keep a dolly mind

incorporating chic-ness and elegance into ur lifestyle

how to be ur own muse

planning basics

hottie's habits

about self respect

take care of YOU first

your greatest accomplishment is urself

how to be more feminine

the victim mentality

how to cultivate growth

simplified tunnel vision

celebrity energy

your guide to effortless glamour

ditch the desperation

the monthly necessities

maintaining/creating a social life

growing ur femininity

building ur dream life

confidence

goal ideas

for funsies

how to be a dessert

summer activities without screens

hot girl summer reminders

hot girl summer

honey's diary season ep 1

honey's diary session ep 2

honey's diary session ep 3

all about role models

girly morning and evening rituals

hyper femininity

your guide to casual glam

hyper girliness

some of my favorite shows and films

things to add onto ur morning routine

follow along morning routine

my girly arts and crafts era

honey's guide to fall

the it girls magazine

august catalogue

july catalogue

june catalogue

may catalogue

april catalogue

#honeytonedhottie⭐️#master list #girl blog #girl blogging #that girl #blog organization

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solecize · 1 year ago

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𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐓 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

ten years of being one and the same with jungkook as the country's it couple is the perfect disguise for the reality of a tumultuous relationship hidden behind the scenes.

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you welcome your boyfriend back to the country with a surprise party, just as the clock is ticking to say goodbye again. the big day is almost here and enlistment brings couples either one of two things: a ring or a breakup. 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒: idol!jungkook/female idol!reader and fictional versions of various idols 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄. idol au, on-and-off relationship, angst, i swear there's fluff, and themes of first love, growing up, struggles with fame, and marriage (ish) 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. portrayal of a toxic couple (implications of emotional abuse and control), infidelity, foul language, substance use, underage drinking, mentions of the covid-19 pandemic, sexually suggestive content 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄. based off of "you're losing me" by taylor swift. this is a fictional portrayal of real-life people that implement some aspects of real-life events. the series is told in non-chronological order. note that the main character is a member of a fictional idol group. more warnings may be added as the story is written. join the taglist here! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤm.list | next

you say, "i don't understand, " and i say, "i know you don't" we thought a cure would come through in time, now i fear it won't

TODAY’S TOP HEADLINE: bts’ rm, jimin, taehyung and jungkook set to enlist in the coming weeks! ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤautumn 2023

the confrontation when it rained, it poured and you felt like you haven't seen even a glimpse of the sun in ages. there was a nagging feeling in your gut that it was too far gone, but like everything else for the past ten years, you swallowed it down and swept it under the rug. bad feelings didn’t exist in your relationship. that was the unspoken rule. yet, it was growing more and more difficult to mask the disappointment in your eyes or the frown fighting your lips. today marked the worst of your attempts.

seoul was unusually calm tonight and it scared you. when you moved to the city ages ago to begin your journey as an idol trainee, it was nothing but intimidating for your meek, pre-teen self. eventually, over time, your love for the city bloomed and it was truthfully because of jungkook. once young teenagers that arrived to seoul alone, you found solace in each other and embraced the change as one. he made you fall in love with seoul the same way he made you fall in love with him. dates, nightclubs, late night adventures, and years worth of moments within the city limits.

however, the streets were as hushed as you were, as you gripped your steering wheel like a robot.

the decision had been long made and you knew it was going to come around at some point, so there was no use in fighting it. after going without seeing your boyfriend for months, it should have been nothing but pure excitement.

“you’re awfully quiet,” murmured jungkook, glancing over at you from the passenger seat.

you were already annoyed to begin with, when he mentioned that he was going to have a driver pick him up from the airport, instead of asking for you. it felt like he didn’t even expect to have you waiting for him, considering the two of you had been apart due to his time working in the united states. you thought he’d be insisting for you to be the first person he saw once he came back. these frustrations were on top of several other things, which you’d been dreading to confront for even longer of a time.

and then, there was also the velvet box you spotted in the background of one of your facetime calls. you didn’t bring it up, but it was living in your mind everyday since. with jungkook’s big day fast approaching, there were a lot of conflicting ideas in your head.

you shrugged. “i’ve been filming long hours. not getting that much sleep.”

the look jungkook gave you read that he knew that you weren’t being a hundred percent honest, but he didn’t say anything. his eyes returned to being fixated on his phone.

after over ten years of knowing each other, you and jungkook could see through each other like glass. the only problem was that nobody ever wanted to speak up. you feared the glaring possibility of other buried conflict dating further back into the relationship because of this dynamic.

you didn’t think you deserved the blame for the tension in the air. there were several things in your mind, but jungkook wasn’t exactly a person who could easily mask their emotions. something was off with him, too, and you needed to figure out what it was. you could only hope for the best case scenario because otherwise, it was going to be your worst nightmare. there was no situation you could fathom where his behaviour was a result of an in between.

keeping your voice casual, you asked, “who are you texting?”

“my mom.”

you held back a sigh - jungkook was never particularly keen on involving you with his family. though you’d been together since he was sixteen, you always felt like he kept you an arm’s reach away from that part of your life and you never understood why.

“oh. tell her i say hi,” you said and he hummed in response.

whilst you weren’t in a talkative mood, it wasn’t like jungkook was doing anything to keep the conversation flowing either. you guys obviously texted and called during his time away, but the present atmosphere was awkward, like there was nothing to talk about after his grand return. you hugged and kissed at the airport, asked how his flight was, and that was that. driving him felt like a business endeavour, rather than welcoming your long-term partner back to the country.

after a few minutes, jungkook finally looked up from his phone. upon peering out the window, he grew confused and turned to you.

he questioned, “where are we going? the apartment is in the other direction.”

“just wait,” you assured, forcing a small smile. “take off your hoodie and put on what i have for you in the backseat.”

there was a shopping bag sitting behind jungkook’s seat and he reluctantly reached over, revealing a silk ysl shirt that you picked up that very afternoon. sighing, he did as you asked and made the change. you didn’t care to look over at your boyfriend’s shirtless body, too irritated at the curtness of the conversation.

you just wanted to get to the destination, the heavy silence becoming too much for you. there wasn’t even music on. you found yourself focusing too much on it, as you finally pulled up to the infamous hotel azure. somehow tucked away in the busy songpa district, it is unassuming to the civilian eye, but a well-known name amongst the circles of south korea’s entertainment industry. you didn’t “make it” in entertainment until you attended a party at hotel azure.

jungkook shifted in his seat. “what is this?” his tone was demanding, which immediately put you off. “the plan was to go home.”

to be fair, the last time that the two of you were at the azure hotel, jungkook wound up with a bloody nose after getting into it with an not-to-be-named yg idol at one of jackson wang’s wild parties. you weren’t even sure what happened yourself, bleary eyed for the majority of the night with several substances in your body. hotel azure was for idols at the top of the world with everything to lose, a favourite place of yours around 2018. it was now a place that you actively tried to avoid, but made an exception for the special occasion.

“calm down,” you shot back, not letting him get away with the voice he used. “just wait, i said.”

“i’m tired, y/n,” jungkook pleaded, as you stopped the car for the valet to take.

you ignored him - it wasn’t like it was up to you - and unbuckled your seatbelt, not waiting a second for jungkook.

not only did you pick up your boyfriend from the airport, you also spent hours meticulously preparing your appearance for the night. it didn’t seem like jungkook noticed, other than at the airport, when he questioned why you were wearing high heels.

you never wore heels unless you were working, but that changed when you met jungkook. he loved it when you wore heels and by the time your respective trainee debts were paid, made it a point. you bought platforms with the anticipation of how your boyfriend would go crazy over them. jungkook gifted you designer jimmy choos and pradas whenever you guys got into a fight. it made you feel your prettiest and he showered you with compliments every time.

now, he looked at you oddly for it, like you were doing too much.

jungkook eventually gave up and followed you in without a word, watching you take off your trench coat to reveal a stunning baby pink two-piece dress. the colour glittered under the low lighting of the hotel lobby and the corset accentuated your curves in all the right aways. except, he still did not say a word. this made you frown.

you handed off your coat to an employee and jungkook did the same. the lobby was empty, but you and jungkook knew exactly where to go, making a beeline for the elevator and pressing the button to move up to the penthouse suite.

“why didn’t you warn me about this?” he grumbled under his breath, adjusting his shirt in the mirror.

because that’s how surprise parties work, you wanted to reply. unfortunately, this was not a surprise party that you wanted to celebrate, so you didn’t even try to keep jungkook excited. you were both quiet, irritable, and only wanted to go home.

you said, “this is the part where i cover your eyes and lead you out.”

jungkook complied and you placed your perfectly manicured hands over his line of vision. other than sharing a hug and kiss earlier, this was the closest you’d physically gotten to your boyfriend in months. your hands were cold and you were close enough that he could hear your breathing - all too uncomfortable.

the elevator dinged and you nudged jungkook to step forward. the penthouse’s lights were off, but you could make out the shuffling of feet from behind the kitchen counter. it looked like everything was set up and pristine. then, in just a beat, the entire room lit up and you removed your hands from jungkook’s eyes.

“SURPRISE!”

the floor rumbled, voices roaring and bodies popping out from different places - behind pillars, couches and the bar. jungkook’s eyes brightened in a way that you had yet to see since reuniting with him earlier and it made your heart sink. you hadn’t realized how dull his demeanour was around you until something else actually made him smile.

his closest friends and family gathered in the penthouse and there was a large, golden banner that hung from the walls that said “welcome back jungkook!” the other wall was decorated with another banner, but this one said “good luck rm, v, jimin and jungkook!”

jungkook’s older brother was the first one that enveloped him into a bear hug, nearly squeezing the life out of him, then his mom. this was followed by the remainder of his band mates that managed to make the party. you awkwardly stood off to the side, a wide smile plastered on your face to mask your despondence. it seemed like jungkook’s exhaustion only existed when he was sitting in a car with you, as his laughter echoed throughout the room.

you caught jungkook’s eye and he already knew how you were feeling. while he exchanged words with other friends, it was namjoon who pulled you to the side.

“hey. you guys did a really great job with the party,” you started, looking around.

the penthouse of the azure hotel was a thing of beauty, with ceiling high windows that looked over the lights of seoul. everything shone and glimmered - the city skyline, the perfect marble floors, the expensive liquor bottles, and hell, even the perfect teeth of the myriad of a-list south korean celebrities gracing this exclusive party. there wasn’t a wrong way to ever throw a party there, but the group made an extra effort to make jungkook’s homecoming a special one.

jungkook was swarmed by several people, all asking about his time in america and how exciting it was. those were the words you used to describe it for him, too, when you sent him off months ago. you watched him take shots with mingyu and eunwoo.

namjoon shook his head, “no, no. this wouldn’t be possible without you,” he said and then glanced at jungkook, “and i’m sure he knows it, too.”

the boys, despite it also serving as a goodbye party before their enlistments, had been helping you plan the surprise for weeks leading up to jungkook’s arrival. it was one of the longest times jungkook had been apart from them and from the country in general, so they wanted to make it extra special. though you were the main mastermind behind the gathering, you initially didn’t want to do it at all.

“yeah, i hope so,” you replied, as you poured yourself a glass of white wine. “you guys all deserve it.”

over the years, jungkook’s band mates slowly became some of your friends, as well. it was somber goodbye for you in all kinds of ways. everyone was preparing to send them off with good luck and high spirits.

the boys were also preparing in their own way. you noticed that taehyung and jimin’s girlfriends were missing from the party, which only confirmed your speculations.

“it was just bound to happen,” said a voice.

it was taehyung who joined you and namjoon in a quiet circle at the corner of the living room. all of the boys looked a little bit sad, despite the celebratory atmosphere, but you read a different kind of story in taehyung’s eyes.

he smiled with a hint of gloom. “you’re looking around for her, right?”

as a fellow idol and also a girlfriend to a member of one of the biggest groups in the world, taehyung’s girlfriend grew to become one of your close confidants in the past few years. you guys were polite before, but this connection created a specific bond that couldn’t be understood by anyone else. however, you hadn’t heard from her in a few days and with her absence at taehyung’s goodbye party, you put two and two together.

to his side, namjoon clapped a hand on his friend’s back. “sorry, man.”

“i hope it was cordial,” you mustered up, ignoring the growing heaviness at the pit of your stomach. you could only hope you weren’t next.

taehyung replied. “she understood, but she wasn’t happy. regardless,” he sighed, “we’re still so young. her career is just blowing up even more, i feel like i’d only be holding her back.”

that was the way it went. when enlistment rolled around for most couples, it was either breaking up or a ring. you looked at your feet, not knowing what to say.

“jimin also told me that he broke things off with - “

a loud yelp squeaked from taehyung, who was abruptly jabbed in the side with namjoon’s elbow. the latter cleared his throat and you recognized that look. namjoon only made that face when he pulled the leader card and needed to put someone in their place. you figured that your worries were transparent to those around you.

namjoon cleared his throat. “not in a chatty mood?”

while you greeted people during the set-up of the party, you realized that you had yet to actually try socializing. things were awkward with jungkook’s parents, who you long suspected didn’t approve of you for various reasons. in general, most people were interested in chatting with the boys, which you didn’t mind. it was a gathering to send them off, after all.

“not really. you guys should go mingle with your friends,” you said, taking another sip of your wine. “it’s your party.”

“i hope i’m not overstepping, but did you and jungkook get in a fight?” taehyung asked.

you blinked slowly. “no. does it seem like it?”

“just seems like he’s nervous about something,” he commented and you noticed namjoon glare at him once more, as if to shut up.

for the first time that night, you felt a glimmer of mixed feelings that left you wondering. why would he be nervous? the big visual forming in your mind was a diamond ring. you and jungkook had contemplated marriage in the past year, but it was also the source of many arguments. you weren’t even sure you wanted to get married now, but your mother had been getting into your ear about you getting older. then, there were your respective companies who lost their shit at the idea. but, what really mattered, was jungkook’s opinion. he seemed to wave it off or change the topic at every opportunity, so your hopes for a ring lived in the back of your mind.

despite this, taehyung was right. jungkook looked nervous. he’d been irritated at being dragged to his surprise party - you wondered if it was delusional enough to believe that he had plans for the two of you, instead.

for the rest of the night, you continued to keep to yourself. you weren’t lying when you told jungkook you were tired, but you were determined to stay as long as you could and pretend that you and jungkook weren’t stealing mysterious glances at each other for the entire evening. it was obvious and only made you anxious.

a few hours later and the party only grew in numbers and in noise. you thought you lost him in the crowd, until you left to refill your nth drink and found him talking to his cousin.

the two were smiling and laughing, as his cousin appeared to be showing jungkook pictures on his phone. you assumed it was her newborn daughter - she gave birth just two months before her fiance was to be discharged and now that he was back, the wedding was just around the corner. you remembered jungkook telling you that she was proposed to on the day of his enlistment.

jungkook caught your eye and he immediately looked away - what the hell was that? he even turned slightly and you couldn’t read his lips. something was going on. you watched him shove his hands in his pockets and you swore you saw the shape of a small square inside.

eventually, you grew tired of the tension in the air and the music began to make your head pound. the longer you thought about your partner, the greater your anxieties grew. there was a chance you even just although it was late in the year and a fresh sheet of snow adorned the streets of seoul, you decided it was best to step out into the balcony to take some time to breathe.

nobody else was there, thankfully, and you let out a shiver when you stepped out. the peppermint air dispelled the haze in your head and in your heart, as taking a deep breath was the greatest relief you felt all night. though your muscles remained tense and you knew you wouldn’t last out in the cold, the balcony was a welcome change.

you weren’t sure how long you were outside when the door creaked open and just by the footsteps alone, you knew who it was.

“your guests will miss you,” you said, not even looking behind you.

at this point, you were hugging yourself to stop shivering. a rustle later and you felt a thick blanket drape over your shoulders, the wool of its make completely enveloping you with much needed warmth. you relaxed your shoulders, but couldn’t look jungkook in the eyes.

“something’s wrong. tell me.”

jungkook’s wine stained lips were pulled into a frown and although he hid it well when he was chatting away with his friends and family, you could see the exhaustion in his eyes. he sniffled a few times and you knew why, but you decided to bite your tongue. it was his party and he was an adult who could celebrate whatever way he wanted. it was also clear that neither of you had the energy to argue. instead, to his surprise, you raised an arm and gestured for him to come closer.

he sidestepped towards you and although you were shorter, let you wrap some of the blanket around him. his cold arm snaked around your waist and you tensed up again at his touch.

you continued to look out into the skyline. “i was going to say the same for you.”

“i’m really thankful for the party, love,” he ignored your question and pressed a kiss against your temple.

you mumbled under your breath, “it wasn’t easy." this was the first time all night that you were comfortable enough to physically touch jungkook and you suspected alcohol played a role in relieving the tension between you two, but it was always going to be easy to fall right back into routine.

and just like that, you felt a stinging sensation in your eyes. tears welled up and blurred your vision, which only made you turn your head away further from your boyfriend. he caught this immediately, his instincts nothing but natural when it came to you, and pulled you right into his chest.

the sound that came out of your mouth sounded nothing like you. the sob was desperate and helpless. it was akin to a toddler who couldn’t do anything by themselves. your voice cracked with each body-shaking sob and you didn’t have the guts to conceal it. your head was buried into jungkook’s new shirt, ruining it, but he only stroked your hair and wrapped the blanket tighter around the two of you.

“it’s okay. . .” jungkook cooed and for what seemed like the first time in a while, he sounded like himself.

it wasn’t like jungkook had undergone a drastic change from his time in america, but it was a gradual shift that you felt over a longer period of time. you attributed to the fact that you were no longer teenagers and things weren’t going to be the same as it did ten, even five years ago. that was what you told yourself, but you weren’t sure why you still held on to the old jungkook you knew.

in that moment, he sounded like the fifteen year old boy you met in a convenience store again. he sounded like the jungkook who wrote you disgusting love songs that were horrible, but you adored anyway. he sounded like the man who you talked about children and a big house and an annoying dog with.

as you found the bravery to finally pull away from jungkook’s comforting embrace, you looked up and saw that future in his eyes. his features softened, but he looked sad. your heart sank once again.

“you’re not just crying because i’m enlisting, are you?” he finally spoke, just above a whisper. his tone was certain, barely a question - after ten years together, jungkook knew you better than you knew yourself.

you froze. there was nothing else you could do but shut your eyes tight, pretending that this wasn’t really happening.

after a beat, you found your voice. “listen. . .we both know what happens after a man enlists. look at taehyung and jimin. look at your cousin.”

over the years, you and jungkook had gone through hell and back. you thought the worst day of your life was when dispatch leaked the news that you were dating five years ago, but you were able to recover. you thought it was the worst day of your life when your breakup was witnessed by the entire world, but you were able to recover. you even thought the worst day of your life was when word got out that you and jungkook got back together, effectively proving that you were weak and were the type of girl to crawl back to her ex. you recovered then, as well.

at the second part of your sentence, you felt jungkook physically tense up.

“is that why you’ve been acting weird lately?” he replied.

you don’t know where it came from, but something triggered a spark of anger in you. still, with a tear stained face and a runny nose, you opened your eyes and met his. this was not something you would be able to recover from.

you said, “it hasn’t just been lately, jungkook. you know exactly what’s on my mind, we’ve been talking - “

“ - and you know what my answer has been, baby. you know what kind of position i’m in,” he interrupted, breaking apart from your hold and the blanket he brought for you.

he wasn’t wrong. you did know what kind of position he was in. one of the biggest stars in the world and he had everything to lose, especially with the anxieties looming in the air for him and the rest of his group. every one of them were on their toes as soon as their enlistment dates were finalized, fearing their fade from the spotlight. you and the rest of the world knew that it was bullshit, that the bts was going to be forgotten just because they were going into the military for a few years.

marriage would surely ruin that further, right?

you said, “and you know what position i’m in.”

the careless joys of your early twenties had come and gone, which left you at the mercy of your mother’s constant talks about marriage. not just her, but other family members and even some of your friends. after all, you and jungkook had been together for ten years and you were pushing thirty sooner or later.

you also had your own fears in regard to your career. jungkook once laughed when you expressed your worries about the public no longer finding you young and pretty, but it was a real fear. most girl groups didn’t last more than a few years. many of your contemporaries had long said goodbye to their idol persona and went their separate ways from their band for a new life. you were considered a lucky one to remain with your group and maintain relevance, but for how long? was it time for you to finally settle down? you weren’t granted the same longevity as jungkook’s renowned group and you weren’t bitter about it, but nervous.

snowflakes began to fall once again and as one fell on your eyelashes, you noticed jungkook’s jaw clench.

“we’ve talked about this,” he said and you knew your wandering thoughts about a potential proposal were too good to be true.

you began, “look, i know that things are different for people like us. . “ but, things were changing. in recent years, you watched several of your peers get married and have children without losing their spot in the limelight.

“y/n. . .what made you think i changed my mind?” jungkook sighed, pacing back and forth to calm himself down.

“i just thought. . .”

“i’m sorry, but i wasn’t going to propose before my enlistment.” this time, jungkook’s frustrations melted away and there was genuine sadness in his voice.

he stepped closer to you and put his hands on your waist. you didn’t know what to say. you really had been pretending that his strange behaviour was because of a hope that seemed impossible now.

you took a deep breath. “you never said no. you made it seem like you were considering it.”

that was what silenced jungkook. it was true, there was never an outright refusal from jungkook. he would say things that implied he would talk to his company again or “with time” it would come. he gave you just enough reassurance, but never confirmation.

continuing, you said, “and you even indulged in keeping the fantasy alive with me. you’re sick for talking about honeymoon destinations with me and suggesting songs we could dance to.”

“hey. i’ve said time ands time again that there is no future where you aren’t by my side,” jungkook tried getting you to look at him, but every time he moved, you turned away.

there was no reason for you to make eye contact. you felt like a fool and if you met his eyes, you knew you would just burst into tears again. then, you thought about your conversation earlier with your friends and your vision became wet again.

“were you planning to break up with me before you enlisted?”

“what? no,” he responded, but you weren’t convinced.

you responded, “it was going to be inevitable, wasn’t it? like jimin and taehyung. you were going to be done with me.”

this time, jungkook forced you to look at him by the chin and your shoulders dropped. there was a crease in between his eyebrows that you don’t remember seeing even just a year ago. he looked more tired than he did as a rookie with barely survivable living standards.

“time really goes by, huh?” you murmured, fighting to keep your voice stable.

“we were never going to break up, love,” jungkook maintained.

still, his words didn’t penetrate further than surface level. you were left numb and the chill of winter in seoul had nothing to do with it. you wished that someone would just call jungkook away, but the party inside continued on without him.

“you bought a ring. i saw it when we video called.”

jungkook’s lips parted. you knew it. you knew you weren’t losing your mind. over the last ten years, you made some crazy accusations for all kinds of reasons. this time was different and you saw it on his face.

even after what seemed like forever, jungkook couldn’t find words to say. the longer he waited to speak, the faster your heart began to race.

he rubbed his temples and finally, he spoke. jungkook spoke and you immediately dropped the blanket he brought for you, dashing right back inside. you walked past every single attendee and ignored the few that cried out your name. you didn’t care what it looked like. you just knew you had to get out of there.

jungkook said there was a ring. he began to open his mouth and explain further, especially when he read the horrified expression on your face, but you wanted no part in it. there was no room for you to think about what that meant. you only saw red.

you weren’t sure why you wanted a proposal so badly. you knew you didn’t care that much about what your mother wanted and getting married was no solution to the prospects of a dying career. you were second guessing if your wishes for a wedding were even genuine.

on the other hand, maybe you intended for the wedding to be a solution to a dying relationship.

LATEST NEWS: hybe dismisses reports that bts’ jungkook and S.IREN’s nova are engaged, seeking legal action against gossip website that went viral for spreading the false rumour

@butnotmontana @rinkud @kookiescutie @nlr1606 @claireshelby @xtrataerrestrial @whoa-jo @tinyxrose @lavendersugarplum @bangtans-momma @firelcrds @sstrongstyle

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook angst #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x oc #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #kpop fanfic #kpop imagines #bts au #jungkook au

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hoodedjelly · 10 months ago

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my Jenny, Tuck, Brad, Shelden, and Vega older designs ^__^

i'm watching mlaatr, still not done, i think i got like 10 more eps (and if i'm being transparent i skipped around eps... i just wanted to see vega...). And i'm absolutely loving the show!!!! i love these characters a lot, didn't like Shelden at first i'm going to be honest, #1 Shelden hater for a bit there. but he chilled out in season two and i started to ship breldon with that too so now i just love him so much.

more about my personal headcanons:

Jenny: - I am under the belief that she is transgender. Jenny was made genderless, so her deciding to be a girl was strictly her choice and i believe that makes her trans. (She's also a lesbian) - she did grow a bit, im not gonna explain how idc really i just liked her being a taller lady :-) - she has A LOT of different cute outfits and hair styles, honestly too much to draw. she never transforms back into her base show outfit when crime fighting, she just fights in her cute summer dress she don't care. - her and vega are dating grrgrgrrrr - when vega is in rule she makes it so there is complete free access between earth and cluster prime for citizens in both places. - I say that cause i think when jenny is older she moves in with vega, technically living in cluster prime but visits earth like everyday. And brad/shelby/tucker/wakeman visit cluster prime - Jenny also hangs out with the nicktoons unite gang, but i deffo feel like its just that secondary friend group that you don't talk to with for months. when you talk again its the same goofiness as before - i think danny calls for her help when he needs it (also manny) Tuck: - he is still a little shit but we love him - adhd boy - questioning cis (he/him) - he got into robotics/stem and builds little silly things - with that, he gets help from Shelby - pretty much just a silly teen, he's on the internet a lot and has "cringe" interests - but idk he's having fun and being silly and finding himself (those interests is stuff like sonic and among us) Shelden(Shelby) - honestly kinda nervous about ppl thoughts on my Shelden, idk it makes so much sense in my brain - hits you with the transfem beam (she/they) Pansexual (she just wants anyone type of vibe) - I think when jenny is visiting vega often that leaves Shelby and Brad hanging out alone a lot. which they don't mind honestly, they are actually good friends! - but during that they just get closer and start catching feelings. Shelby eventually lets go of her feelings about jenny and realizes they were a real jerk and weirdo to her. brad helps them through that and eventually her realizing she's trans. blah blah they in love and kiss at some point. - Shelby is also a furry lmaooo her fursona is a cat.

Brad: - bisexual cis man (he/him) - Still his old brad self if i'm being honest. - totally forgot to say i think all 3 of them go off to college together (even though jenny doesn't have to i feel like she would prob want to just for the experience, but tell me if you think differently i'm still unsure) - i really don't know what else to say sorry brad! he's literally just as silly as ever man. he's just also gay - i will say here i feel it takes a lot longer for shelby and brad to start dating then jenny and vega. they got that slow burn kinda shit going on, since a lot of that is shelby being confused about her feelings. and jenny and vega just hit it off right away if im being honest, very high school sweethearts. - (also i think shelby makes brad make a fursona to match hers, so brad got a dog fursona)

Vega: - Lesbian cis (she/her) - That ending of her just ruling cluster prime was just so crazy to me cause like, aint she like 16? - i think she has a lot of stressed nights and fearing she's not doing the right thing for her people, and jenny tries to help as much she can - that is why jenny visits so much, she wants to help her. - very much got those nights were she accidently falls asleep at her desk, jenny finding her and giving her a blanket and a kiss goodnight - it's not like she's unhappy, she is actually very very passionate about her work and wants to NOT be like her mom - and yeah she deffo goes to robo therapy for the stuff with her mom. - i think it's a conflict where vega is scared her mom is gonna come back and jenny has to reassure her that if she does they'll get rid of her for good.

imma be honest a lot of my hcs are pretty half-baked and random things, im sure im going to think of more stuff in the future but that will be in different posts.

#nicktoons #nickalodeon #my life as a teenage robot #mlaatr #xj9 #jenny wakeman #brad carbunkle #tuck Carbunkle #sheldon lee #Sheldon Oswald Lee #jennyvega #breldon #vega #hoodedjelly art

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nymphaura777 · 2 months ago

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⋆｡𖦹°‧★Debunking Manifestation Myths: The Truth Behind the Magic ⋆𖦹°‧★

Manifestation is one of the most powerful tools we have to shape our reality. But let’s be real—there’s a lot of misinformation out there. If you've ever doubted your ability to manifest because of strict "rules" or conflicting advice, this post is for you. Lemme break down some of the biggest manifestation myths and uncover the real truth behind them.

Myth #1: You Have to Be Positive All the Time to Manifest

Truth: You are a human being, not a robot programmed for constant happiness. Negative thoughts won’t cancel your manifestations—what truly matters is what you consistently believe.

Think of it like planting a seed. If you water it with faith and persistence, it will grow—even if some days you feel doubtful. Your subconscious mind absorbs dominant thoughts, not occasional moments of frustration. Instead of fearing negativity, focus on building a strong self-concept and trusting the process.

What to do instead: Accept your emotions, remind yourself that doubt is normal, and return to your affirmations when you're ready.

Myth #2: If You Think of Something Bad, It Will Happen

Truth: If this were true, every intrusive thought we’ve ever had would have instantly come true. The universe (or your subconscious mind) doesn’t work like an instant spell—it responds to patterns of belief, not fleeting thoughts.

What to do instead: If you catch yourself thinking negatively, remind yourself: This is just a thought, not a fact. My dominant beliefs create my reality.

Myth #3: You Have to Take Massive Action for Manifestation to Work

Truth: Inspired action is good, and it totally depends on you if you want to do or not it's going to work any way, but manifestation isn’t just about doing—it’s about being in alignment with your desires. When you shift your self-concept and truly believe in your manifestation, the right actions will feel natural rather than forced.

What to do instead: Focus on becoming the version of you who already has what you want. Your actions will then flow naturally from that state of being.

Myth #4: Manifestation Takes a Long Time

Truth: Time is an illusion. The reason some manifestations take longer is because we often assume they will. If you think something will take years, your subconscious mind accepts that belief and creates that reality for you.

What to do instead: Instead of focusing on when it will happen, assume that it’s already done and trust that it will unfold in the best way possible.

Myth #5: You Need to Be Super Specific for Manifestation to Work

Truth: While clarity is great, obsessing over every little detail can actually block your manifestation. Sometimes, the universe (or your higher self) has something even better planned for you.

What to do instead: Focus on the essence of what you want, not just the specifics. Trust that what’s meant for you will find you.

Myth #6: You Can Only Manifest One Thing at a Time

Truth: You are constantly manifesting multiple things at once. Your beliefs shape every area of your life, whether you’re aware of it or not.

What to do instead: Instead of hyper-focusing on one thing, work on becoming the best version of yourself overall. The more aligned you are, the more blessings will naturally flow in.

Myth #7: If It Hasn’t Happened Yet, It’s Not Working

Truth: Just because you can’t see something yet doesn’t mean it’s not unfolding behind the scenes. Many people give up right before their manifestation is about to materialize.

What to do instead: Assume it’s already yours. Stay persistent. The 3D reality is always shifting, even when it seems still.

Manifestation is not about rules, fear, or perfection. It’s about embodying the energy of what you want, trusting the process, and knowing that your desires are already yours.

Let go of the limiting beliefs, step into your power, and watch how your reality transforms effortlessly.

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silverryuan · 2 months ago

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Riddle Rosehearts with a Siren reader from Jibaro

A/N: "It's weird that I don't have writer's block... I actually have a lot of ideas in my head that I really want to write but due to classes I can't seem to find any time for my hobbies anymore."

Warning: Blood Consumption, Slight Angst

The Siren or The Golden Woman is a character from Netflix's animation series, "Love, Death, and The Robots". She's the love interest of the deaf soldier from the Jibaro episode, directed by Alberto Mielgo.

• Your and Riddle's friendship is rather complicated yet it cannot be called a mere acquaintance. Although you don't really talk much you use arm swaying movements to communicate with others, it's almost like some sort of dance or another version of sign language. Rook likes to decipher these actions of yours and Kalim likes to dance with you.

• However, that doesn't mean he tolerates how you let your numb skull friends break the rules in the Heartslabyul dorm. He sometimes wonders if Ace and Deuce became affected by your... tendencies to cause trouble and wreak havoc across the campus. But you only do that as self-defense, as Grim says on your behalf.

• But why in Twisted Wonderland would you randomly scream at people as a defense mechanism? ← Riddle thought as if he doesn't do that himself.

• Riddle never heard you talk but he has heard some rumors associated with your loud screaming. It seems like there's a record of many Savanaclaw beastmen who tried to gang up on you, suddenly did these unusual body movements in reaction to your screaming. As if they're in a trance trying to dance with you but failed miserably.

• The Faculty and Staff were called numerous times to break it up when the students started fighting themselves. When the students snap out of it they don't remember what happened. The only thing they described was hearing beautiful singing, which doesn't make sense...

• Is this your Unique Magic? It's a little similar to Ruggie's Laugh With Me with a mix of Jamil's Snake Whisper, albeit more violent. Because of those incidents, you'd been put into the avoid-at-all-costs pedestal in the student body.

• The first time he interacted with you was in the cafeteria. Back when he was, ahem, overly strict before his Overblot. He did not like how the collared fool named Ace described him and had second thoughts about removing his collar. Before he could scold Ace, you suddenly leaped onto the table and proceeded to stare at him while moving your head from side to side.

• That was also the moment where he first learned how instinctual you can be when you feel threatened. He yelped and backed away from you, not without uttering an excuse about another rule being violated. On that day, he thought that you were the same as Floyd. Weird and eccentric.

• Riddle wanted to collar you at that moment but he remembered that you had no magic, so he didn't. But by the Great Sevens, he was proven wrong. Deadly wrong. He had become one of the victims that had fallen to the extent of the severity your magic can go.

• Him Overblotting was far too unsightly of a dorm leader. He broke too many rules, hurt too many of his dormmates, nearly destroyed his dormitory, unaware that his own mother created a monster like him. He held on to his delusions of following every rule down to every detail of it, thinking it was the best for him. But no...

• He knew that it wasn't. He knew deep down that he was hurting others, his friend Trey, but he denied it because they broke the rules. So he punished them because he was right and that he should teach them not to break another rule.

• But what rule is suitable for this? His demented form? His Overblot rampant for control? Who is even right? What rule should he follow to make the pain stop? His mother didn't teach him this... Was what Trappola said was right?

• The thoughts and memories of his past worsened his condition and only made him more mad. He felt his head pounding too much. The black tears of ink wouldn't stop. He hadn't this felt vulnerable and helpless in a long time. It seems that the time he spent with his mother managed to numb the pain as well as his emotions.

• His vision turned dark as the blot consumed him. He cannot breathe. The monster was slowly killing him. Riddle in turn slowly embraces the void, embracing his final moments.

• Somebody... Anybody... Please... Save... Him.

• ... But it was too late for him.

"Everyone... Run... Ake... Cov....!"

• At least he get to hear Trey's voice one last time. His voice was panicked and muffled by the blot but nonetheless, Riddle wants to hear it.

"Yuu! What... doing...?!.... Dangerous...!!"

• Was that your name? Trey is yelling at you. What were you doing?

"GET BACK!"

• What?

• What was that? What is that sound?

• It's coming closer...!

A̷̞̖̤̩̰̭̼̹͇̘͇̫̭̠ͭͤ͑̈͐̽͛͗̂̆͊̾ͥ̄ͪ̑̎̈̆̀͢͡҉͟҉̶̷̷̨̡̛̀͘̕̕͘͟͟͟͞͠͡A̷̍̓̋̂͘͠͝A̷̶̗͍̺̱͎̠͓̙̖̞̱͇̩͈̒͆ͨͬ̎̌͒͑̓̊͒̈̑̇ͪ͂͝ͅ͏̡̧͜͟͟͢͞͠͝҉́̀͠͠A̳̬͉̫̥̤̩̰̺̯͍͉̪͈̭̜̮̣̣ͬͨ̅̈́ͣͬ͌ͦ̚҉̸̵̡̧̧A̲̫̤̫̥̟͚͕̞̦̣̭̦̞͍̣̮͉̺̮͛ͭ̽ͣͬ̓ͧ̀̐̅ͅͅͅA̵̷̶̧̪͇͈̖̖͔̺̙̦͆̇́̆̏̋̓ͥ̍̓͌͆͂͗̄ͪͯ̚҉̡̡͏̸̶̶̛̕͢͡A̵̷̧̡̛̦̭̰̟͇̯̱͙͇̣̖̩̻̞͙̰̪̱̫͔ͮ͂ͧ̉͋̎ͨ̃ͥ͋̈̀́̕͝҉͡҉̴͠҉̸̡̡̡̀͜͡͝A̷͈̭̠̗͍̹̠̙̗͙͕͎͍̘̥̥̜̹͚̺͚̍ͪ̾̎̔̔ͪ̉ͣͣ̾̊͗̇́ͣ̍̆͐͋͟͠ͅͅ҉̶̛́̕͟͟͢͡À͍̹͉̟̞̼̰͈̻̱̞̥̰͊͒̃̈̓́̿͐ͯ̑͑̍͂ͬ̇ͪ̀̆̚͡ͅͅǍ͚̮͈̰̤͍̹̖͚̮̤͉ͥͬ̏̒̈͌̒̅͆͊̌ͥ͒̔ͮ̂́̀͢͟͟͝҉̧̛̕A̦͎̫͊̈́̌̄̅̓ͦ͂ͬ̔̓̅̍̂ͯ̈́ͭ͂̓͝A̶̷̴̷̸̢̧̡̡̨̡̛̗̖̥͉̰̞̫͉̦̮̦̹̗̗̭̒̋̕͘͘͜͜͟͢͢͞͏̶̕͏͏A̛̪͍̗͈̤͔̗̠͉̯̮͍̬̪͓̭͕̱̫̞͍̺̗ͮ̓ͦͪ̄͛̄̎ͮͫ͌̽ͧ̈̓ͧ̽̃̽ͮ̐ͭ̕͜͟͜͠͝ͅͅ҉̶̴̧̨̀͟͜Ȧ̲̟̭̪̺̜̻̞̹̯͕̱͋ͥͤͩͦ͊̀̕͏̧A̢̠̻̠̩̜̥̩͙̺̓ͤ̾̓ͥ̏͛̅̔̉ͥ̾ͭ̌͋ͦͤ̇͐ͭ̆̚Ą̵̵̸̨̛̗͈̜̱̞̞͓̹͓̩̼̪̙̯̹̠̜̩͙̙͕͈͔̮̓ͤ̑̕͢͜͟͞͏̨̡͢͢͢À̶̷̵̴̧̢̛̜̯̩͕̟̟̞͈̒̅̇̀̇̔ͭ̔̄̄͆͑ͥ̂̃̉́͘̕͟͞͞͞ͅ҉̷̨̨̛̀͘͠͞Ȃ̮͈̝͈̩͈͚͙̭̙̪̦̺͚̾͆͆́̃͋͂͆͐͆ͭ̋̓Å̵̷̡̼͖͕̪̱̠͓̼̪̜̕̕͢͏͏̷͝A̜̘̺̭̰̤̱̲ͩ̃̅̀͐͋ͤ͐ͪ̅ͣͬ̌̊̐̽̆̃͒̿͛̿̌̉̀ͫ̉̀̀͘͟͟͢҉̴̸̨͜͠͡À̷̴̸̢̛͚̲͉̠̞̺̭̘̐ͬͥ́͗̏̊̆̾̒̒ͥͭ̽̋̓̑̀̀͘͞͞͝͡Ą̴̷̢̢̨̧̛͇͖͓̟̪͗̓͑̂́́̀̚͘͢͜҉̷̛̀̀͘͜͠͝͡͡A̢̹̥̬̖̘̘͓̥̮͕͋̐͆͌͑͋́ͬ͆ͫͪ̅̔́̊̋͆ͧ̈́ͧ̆ͯ͌̄̆́͟͝ͅ͏͝Ą̸̴̸̧̨̡̫̫̠̳͉͓̦͓̘̯̳͖̣͎̲͕̟̠̔̃̽́ͪ̔ͮ̅ͩ̎̔͂̉̇͒ͬ̏́̀̕͢͟͞͝͞͠ͅÀ̧̡̛̛̩̻̫͚̞̹̱̙̝̩̘̩̟̠̥̐̈́̾͊ͨ͊͢͜͡͏̶̵̷̴̴̵̧̨̨̕͜͢͏́Ȃ͇͉̣͎̇ͬ̾̇ͦͮ͂̈́̾͗̓̍̂̈ͦ͜͡͠҉̷̴̢̢̛͜͡͝҉Ą̶̴̸̨̧̛͉̠̦̤͔͓̯̠͎̩͉͐̄ͭ̎ͮ͊̌̓́̅̎̇ͦ͐̇҉̵̵̨̧͘͘͏̴̴̵̵̡̧Ã̷͚̗̞̗͎͎̳̑̆́̅ͭ̌̑̌̓̈ͯ͌ͤ͗ͭ̀͒͛ͮͮͩ̚͘҉̶̡̡̛̛͘͘͘͟͞҉̴̸̷̷̢̛́͘̕͟͢͡͠Ả̦̞̠̳̱̙̠̺̿̓ͯ͆͂̈̀ͯ͝͏̨̀͘͟͟͟͠͏̴̧̢̨͘͘͘̕͜͜͞͠͡͏̴Ȁ͖̲̩̤͇̞͇͚̞̭͈̤̱̞̖͂̿͒̓ͩ͆̀̾̏ͣ̀̒͂͑̈́̿̿ͪ͐͐̃̆ͮͯ͊ͅ͏̴̛̀́͟A̹̱̩̯͖̳̤̼͍͔̞̬̘̖̥̫͍̦͎̺͕̭̰̤͛ͨ̆ͤ͋̇̄͌̆̽ͥͪ̓̄ͥ̅̒̕ͅ҉A̴̴̶̸̶̶̡̦̣͈̯̤̖̯̣͙̖̪̫͕͕̲̼͍͍̪͎̲̩͜͟͝ͅ͏́Ā̶̸̵̸̢̛̬͇̫̺̜̖̫͉̫̟̹̳̥̪ͫͭ̓ͤ͑̎͐̐͆͆̇͌͊͊̽̄̏͗́̂͘͢͢͢͜͟͠͝͞҉̴̛͏̵̸̧́͘A̸̛͕̭̫̜̳̲͍͈̪͍̫͓̞͓̠͈ͦ͊͐̽͆͊̿̍̽ͥͮ̈́ͬ̈ͯ̈́̎͑͒ͫ̀̅̅͝ͅĄ̴̴̵̴̡̦̪͕̭͕͚͚̝͉̝̻̙͓̤͚̩̫̯̥̞͔̗̑̽͑́̔̂͌̓̽ͤ̀̈ͨ̈́̔̉͋̏̍ͫ̈́̆ͭ͆̎́͢͠͠҉̷̷̧҉̀Ă͖̥̘̺͖̭͙̗̗̰͔̹̱͚͓̣̺̥̳͇͍̏̐̈ͥ̀ͤ͂̎ͨ̀̓̆̌͠͏͘͟͡҉͏͏̴̶̡͠͏̧̧̛́̀͘͟͞͞͡͠͠҉A̛̛͖͙̠̭̼̟̱̘̤̬͙̦͓͉̖͉ͫ̀̐̈́̍̒͒ͣͮ̌ͨͨ̒͗̽̋ͧͯͤ̚̚̚͘͜͜͟͡͝ͅͅA̷̛̘̰͍͉͔̥̹͚͖̮͇̦̻̪͚̪̮̗͚̳̮̫͚̜͌̈͗ͭ̎̅ͨͫ̆ͯͦͦ̿̈́̈́ͩ͊̐ͮ̆ͩ͑ͨA̵͈̼͇̠̩̤̱̮̳̠̝͕͛ͧͩ̃̅̈̍̾͊́̈́̌̀ͦͩͦͨ̋ͦ̌̃̅͏̵͢҉̶̡̛́̀͠͏͏͏͏͝A̸͎̤̞̝͕̗͕̣̣̼̫̻̾̓ͮͬ̄ͨͣ͆̀͢͏҉͜͜҉̸̕A̶̶̸̡̧̨̧̹̪̬̩͖͖͈̭͔̯ͥͬͩ͗̒̌̾ͣ̑́́́͘͘̕̕͘͟͜͟͟͝͡͠͡͝͡͝ͅÁ̵̡̫̭̩̙͎̺̞̝̹̥̝̤̯͖̆̈́̉̈́̊͊͑ͮ̀́̚͘͘͜͢͞͠͏̀͏͏҉̸̡̀A̛̰͓̬̙̮̖̫̤̙͍̤̘͚͕̱̬̱̝̗̪͖̲̅ͨͣ̀̓̎̎̿̊̑̌̓͒ͮ͜͠҉̶̛͢͏̶̴̸̨̡̀̀͘͝͞Â̱͈̬̘̥̟͕̘̘͙̺͉͍͕͇͖̄͋ͩ́ͦ̓̌̊ͦ͐̂͛̈̽́͟͝͏̶̷̸̸̵̵̨̧̢́́̀͘͘͘͟͜͟͜͡͡͝Ą̷̧̜̮̲̟̥͎͕͉̖͉͖̩͈̮̺̂͘͢͝͠͞͠͏͞Ạ̴̶̢̠͎͖̥̙͙̱̼̯̻́̐̑̽̈́͆̊̂ͫͬͤͯͨ̾̔̑̈ͩ͛ͣ̎̏̆̏ͯ̓̊͘͟͜͠͞͝͏̧̛́̕͟͜͡Ą̸̷̷̴̡̛̪͙̻͇̬̲͖̪͖̅̌̓̆͊ͨ̏̿̓͆͑̄̍ͦ̊ͮ̇͋̏͌̾̑̾̈̍ͧ͜͟͞͞͡͡͠͞ͅA̬̭͉͙͓͖͇̰͇͍̾͂̄ͯ̔̉̿ͮ̍͆ͮͨ̚A̸̵̡̢̠̞̳͓̦̹ͬ̊ͭ͆͗͂ͮ͊͘͘͡͝͠ͅ҉̵̶̵̴̡̢̧͟͜͡͠͠͝҉̸҉A̶̶̧͈̝̞̻̺̙̭ͫ̐̀͘̕͘̕͟͝҉҉͢Ạ̷̧̡̛̛̓́͟͜͠͝͝͝Ǎ̷̡̢̛͔̠̭̙̣̖͎̬͈̥́ͬ̋͂͂ͤ͋ͧ͑ͩ̂̽ͯͮ̒̅ͪ̀̊̒̎ͩͨ̈́̈͌͢͝͞͠ͅÂ̸̧̪ͮ̋͌̎̉͋ͨ͑̊̎ͩ̈́̎͒̀͜͝҉̸͜͞͡A̴̧̧̢̢̨̘̠̹̱̻̤͖̫̯̞̬͖̗̠͚̳̲͓̪̿̍ͨͦ͛̓̍͊̀͊͗́ͣ̚͡͞͏͢҉̷̸͘͏Ą̴̸̵̴̛̻͓̯̞͇̻͢͟͠͡҉̵҉̶̴̡̛̕͘͜͜͜͡͠Ą̵̹̮̭͉̦̺͔̆͟͝͡͡͞Ą̴̷̡̨̨̧̨̰͔̱̻̺͓͇̩̝̺̣͉̦̗̳͆̀ͦ̆ͧ͛ͨ͆ͯ̅ͫ̽̊̄̅̓ͬͦͣ̍ͪ̋̎̚͘͘͘͢͟͡͝͞A̢ͯ̍͑͐̎̆̅͛̅͒̉̒͋ͣͤ̅͂̆̐ͨͭͤ̐ͣ̚҉̀͏̶̷̸̸̵̨̢̧̢̡̡̛̛́͘͢͠͡͞͝͠͝A̘̱̪͎̟̯̪̔͗̄ͫ̋ͧ͌̄͊͛̈́ͫ̍͆ͬ͛ͤͧ҉̶́҉̸̴̨̢̡́́͢͟͡͝A̷̶̴̵̡̛̘̩̙̯̜̩̦̟̱̼̤͉̭̲̟̹͇̯̗̱̘̲̔ͥ̌̅̒̽́̀́͘͢͜͜͞͠͏̵̡́̀͢͞҉̨͏̧͟

• Riddle cradled his head as a piercing shriek breaks the sound barrier, the void around him started falling apart from the shockwaves.

• It sounds awful... Like a thousand banshees shouting and crying inside his head...

• How it painfully reminded him of his mother yelling at him!

• How it sounded like her voice multiplied in every direction surrounding him and started screaming at him...!

• But it stopped. Everything went silent...

• The cries of the damned were replaced by beautiful melodic singing...

• ... It was hypnotizing him.

"Riddle! Snap out of it!"

"Rosehearts! Stop this madness!"

"Riddle, please, can you hear us?"

• Outside from Riddle's caged mind, his Overblot form and monster were in a spiral, desperately fighting back to whatever magic you've casted upon him. The more you screamed, the more Riddle suffered.

• Thank the Sevens Crowley managed to make himself useful and evacuated the rest of the students. Otherwise they'd fall under your magic's attack range too. Trey and Cater made a good call summoning magic shields around themselves before you attacked.

""̨̌̽AA̯̝ͪ͏A̠̭̠ͯ̀̀A��A̱̫̯ͣ̔̍Ā͔̞͉̈́U̗͡U͇̭̯U̬̜ͪ̅͡U̝̟̮G͎͓͇ͥ̅̓G͈̜̙G̬̝͉͊̾G͒͒͡H͇ͯͩ̑H̹̬́͌H͓̫̆ͨH̵̗̚!ͫͫ̍!̦̬͗ͤ̌́҉!͙͚͂̓ͮ!̷͍̝͊͐!̖̟̦́̓͒͘͘ ̡ͪ͑S̷̫̓ͧ́́T̫̐Õ̵̳̙̣̾̂P̶̛ ̰͙̈́͜͞Ȋ͔̺̭̆͞T̐̚͏͝.͇͙̤̐̐ͩ͘͠.̩͗ͤ.̢̦̱̝̚͘!̢͕ ̸̺͈̤͌̃͘S͈̺̘ͦ̅͟T͍̩̠O̸̞͈̹ͥͦͩ͟P͆͗̍͏̧ ̴̜̦Ţ̷̲̙͕H̤̰̤̀͜A̜͙͉ͧͣ͂T͙͊́͞.͚ͪ̇̽.́͟.̬̯̜ͭͫ͘!̵ A̵̝̗̖A̞͙̣̓̏A͍̅͢A͆̈͌Uͧͮͦ҉͏U̶͇̰̗U̘̭̗̔͐U̡̱̜̳ͯ̿G͠G̝̤̙͌̀͏G̪̬̜G͙̳ͯ͏̴Ĥ̬̜͕̌͝"̜̃͟

• Riddle, who is now covered in ink from head to toe, is thrashing and destroying everything that comes near him. His Blot monster kept bashing its head on the ground. You were unfazed by his sudden change of aggressiveness and screamed louder.

• Even if he threw projectiles at you, your shrieks' shockwaves would deflect it with strong gusts of wind. Cracks began to appear on the monster's glass head.

"W-what's happening to him...?"

"He's weakened by Henchman's Unique Magic!"

"Eh?! You mean Siren! Yuu's Unique Magic is enough to make him like this?!"

"Focus, Deuce!"

"R-right, sorry!"

"Time to end this, guys... Split Card!"

"He's almost down. Cover us, Yuu! Doodle Suit!"

"I summon forth... Cauldron!"

"Fnyaaaagh!"

A̭̦̫ͧ̎͘͜A̍ͧA̴̞͇ͫ̈́ͫͧͥ̀ͅÄ̵̼̮́ͩ̍A͖͢G̨̛͔̜̦̮̪̐̉̇̊̀̀͠G̷̟͍̳̭ͪ̈ͪͦHͬ̏̽̾͂H͚̘͍̾̒̇H̸̗̩͍̘̓̈ͦ̍͛͞!̢̈̕!̵̧̬͝!̨̨͖̦̩̱͑ ̺̰̺͛͗̈̾̃҉҉͞Ḙ͎͖͍͇̊̂̇ͥN̯̯̤̮͔̐̈́ͤ̎Ǫ̴̤̥̻̦ͦͭ͊̚͜U͎͋̑̀Gͩ̕H̛҉!̺͕̄̒̑̃̀͠҉͢͞!̢̢͉̃ͥ̀͡!̠̱̟̹͟͞͏ ͍ͣ͏Ǫ̼̫̺ͭͬ̎F̖̰̞͎̆ͣ̄̅F̛̮̳̩͉̦ͪ͘͘ ̼͉̯͊̏̊̄W̲̪͙I̴͔͈̙͓͌͒͂́͘͢͞T̞͈̪͢H̡̧̹͚̪ ̛̟͍̘̭͟A̵̡̡̯̎̋́͘L̴͎̜̀Ļ̷͉̰̠̉͗ͅ ̸̙̙̣̤̦͒̏̿̕͜Ý̙̗̰ͥ̓͜͏̡̢͢O͇͚͖̩ͪͮ͑Ȕ̟̞͈͎̰̐̽ͪ̃͜͢͝͠R̷͞͝ ̘͎̒̑͊͞H̬ͯ̒̎́҉͏̨E̴̛͈͔̠Ẻ͓̦̘E̪̹ͣ͊͊͆͆Ȃ̶̢̛͖͚̹̙̄ͣ̄̉́A̛̝̤A̸̸̝̻̥̣ͣ̽͏Ą̡̘͢D̗̙̹̟̓̄̓̕͡S̴̥̟͎!͈̭͉̥͏̶̡̕͠!̢̢̠̜̌̒̾ͣ͆̕͟!̟̰̣ͤ҉

{NRC – Infirmary}

• Riddle woke up in the school infirmary. He sat up with a ringing noise in his head. He tries to recall the things that happened but the headache prevented him from doing so. The boy was surprised by Trey, Cater, and the rest of the troublemakers appearing by his side. They looked relieved, tears welled up in Trey's eyes and he says something...

• ... He can't hear him... Why can't he hear him? Is it because of the ringing? What is he saying?

"...Mnh?... Trey?... Cater?..."

"Riddle! You're okay! A-are you okay? Does your head hurt?"

"Dorm Leader Rosehearts! He's awake!"

"Ssshhhh! His head might still be ringing!"

"... H-huh?"

• Trey and Cater were right up beside him immediately, checking on him. The students behind them couldn't believe it but they were relieved to see him awake.

"Siren! Yuu's magic did quite a number on you, dorm leader... Maybe you should rest more-- Woah!"

"H-Hey, Riddle! Don't sit up yet, you just woke up. There, there, relax."

"Are you in any pain right now? You look a little pale..."

"I... I... Can't... You..."

• They're mouths were moving but no sounds came out no matter how hard Riddle strained his ears.

"What is it? Can you speak louder? What's wrong?"

"Trey.. I can't hear you."

"W-what?"

"I-i can't hear what you're saying, Trey. I can't hear all of you! I c-can't- I CAN'T HEAR ANYTHING!"

"Dorm Leader, calm down! Take deep breaths."

"It's alright, just look at us. Everything will be fine."

"He can't hear us?"

"His condition is worse than I thought. Did his Overblot perhaps took his ability to hear?"

"Everyone, please get out of the infirmary. He needs space."

• The students of Heartslabyul left the room but Ace, Deuce, Grim and you stayed behind. Riddle's hands cupped his tear stained face as his sobbing intensifies.

"We're so sorry, Riddle... Don't worry, the Infirmary Ghosts can help you. We'll be right here every second."

"Yeah, you'll get your hearing back in no time!"

"... I'm... sorry... I'm sorry..."

"E-eh?"

"I'm so sorry... *sob*.... *sob*... I've been so horrible to all of you.... *sob*...."

"Woah. Dorm Leader Riddle Rosehearts crying? Oh. My. Sevens."

"Cater."

"Sorry, Trey, it's just... I never see him cry his eyes out like this."

"... *sob*.... It's all my fault... it's my own fault...! ... *sob*... You were right... *sob*...!"

• Ace stepped closer to Riddle. The crying boy saw him and cried even harder.

"T-Trappola... I'm sorry... I did want that Mont Blanc tart! I really did... *sob*... I felt bad for tossing it away... But I had to follow the rules... *sob*... I'm so sorry...!"

• Riddle let out all of the pain, all of the guilt, all of the regret he bottled up throughout his life. Ace decided to forgive him for admitting his defeat but left his reasons of doing so for another day once Riddle is healed.

• Moments later, the Infirmary Ghosts appeared and checked on Riddle's vitals. Riddle finally stopped his crying, he still hopes to reconcile with Ace. He knows that his wrongdoings will not be forgiven... He does not deserve to be called a dorm leader if all he ever do is hurt his own dormmates.

"He's healthy now and the blot is all gone. There's nothing clogging his ear canals, no bleeding. In fact, his ears look fine."

"We don't know why he lost his hearing. Maybe it's because of a concussion?"

"The students did give him a beating but that's unlikely."

• A few hours passed by. The Ghosts became puzzled and made Riddle recite the 810 rules to check for brain damage, using a notebook and pen to communicate. Riddle perfectly recalled all of the rules. The Ghosts then asked Riddle to recall his dormmates' and classmates' names as well as their appearances. Riddle remembered all of them correctly. This made the Ghosts even more puzzled.

"Looks like Yuu's magic worked too well on him."

"This was caused by magic? If so by whom?"

"Siren! Yuu's Unique Magic."

"My Henchman's Unique Magic makes them scream very loud. They can hypnotize people with it and make them go crazy."

"Really? That's some frightening magic you got there, kid..."

"Suppose that they've used it to make him deaf?"

"To cover us when we subdued him. Riddle looked like he was in great pain the whole time."

"Ah, I see."

"Well, every mage's magic gotta have some kind of loophole or weakness around it, right?"

• The Ghosts turned to ask you if there's a cure, to which you nodded yes. You took a scalpel and pierced it across your palm. Everyone was taken aback when droplets of your blood dripped on the floor but you ignored them and grabbed a teacup by Riddle's bedside. Your blood soon filled half of the cup and you gave it to Riddle.

• Riddle looked at you with shocked eyes and rejected the gesture. You insisted to lift the cup to the boy's mouth.

"W-w-what? What are you...?"

"I think Henchman wants Riddle to drink it."

"Huh?!

"What?!"

"B-but that's...!"

"I dunno! It's what my Henchman is doin'!"

"What the hell?! Don't you think it's... I don't know... Weird and gross?!"

"Hmm... If it's the only way then we don't see why not."

• The Ghosts wrote on the notebook, instructing Riddle to drink the blood. Riddle, who literally saw you cut your own skin, closed his eyes and hesitantly gulped it all down. Coughing as the metallic taste of the red liquid lingered on his tongue.

• You bandaged your bleeding palm and left the room with a theatrical bow. This moment became a core memory of the group's earliest impression of you.

"Fnyagh... I think they're tired from all that screaming. I'm gonna go rest with them. A fight like that surely made me sleepy. Hey, Henchman! Wait for the Great Grim!"

• One day later, Riddle finally got back his hearing and the headache he had disappeared. He recovered with no complications. His dormmates' planned to throw an Unbirthday Party for him in his recovery. However, Riddle's guilt has not left his mind.

"Ace Trappola."

"Uh, yes?"

"I... heavily apologize for how I treated you... how I treated all of you with strict cruelty. I see now that not all can follow the rules like how I was raised to... And that I shouldn't enforce such rules and give harsh punishments because of one's trivial or small mistakes... From now on, I'll take time to reflect on my actions and the effects it has on others... From this day forward, I, Riddle Rosehearts, hereby back down as dorm leader of Heartslabyul--"

"Sorry, dorm leader but you can't."

"P-pardon?"

"The title of dorm leader sounds nice but I don't want the strings attached to it. No one can handle the responsibility like you can, no one puts more effort into the duty of the title like you do, no one is more suitable for a dorm leader like you are. Besides, I didn't ask you to a Mage's Duel to take your position. I want you to see how much of a heartless snob you were. You were at fault for mistreating your dormmates. Trey and Cater are also at fault for letting you mistreat them for a long time. That just isn't right."

"I'm sorry too for turning a blind eye all this time as vice dorm leader. I was too cowardly to face him."

"Me too. I should've looked out for you guys as your senior. Some friends we are, huh?..."

"But that's alright. I'm sure your dormmates can forgive you guys and give you a second chance."

"Y-You really think so?... Will they forgive me? After all I've done?"

"Of course, we forgive you, Riddle. As your friends, we're here to help you whenever you need."

"Yups! Totally vote for a second chance! Just don't overdo it next time and have some more mercy, dorm leader!"

"On behalf of the Heartslabyul dorm, we still want you as our dorm leader!"

"I... I-I'm...thank you, everyone... thank you all so mu--"

"BUT I STILL HAVEN'T FORGIVEN YOU!"

"E-eh?!"

"Ace!"

"NO, DON'T "ACE!" ME! AFTER ALL THE EFFORT WE PUT INTO THAT PERFECTLY GOOD MONT BLANC TART AND TOSSING IT OUT. IT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU CAN JUST CRY AND GET AWAY WITH IT!"

"What the hell's wrong with you!?"

"The poor guy's sorry isn't he?"

"Y-yes, I do feel terribly sorry for wasting the tart."

"WELL, IF YOU ARE SORRY AND YOU DO WANT TO EARN MY FORGIVENESS, AS A PUNISHMENT FROM ME, IT'S YOUR TURN TO MAKE THE TART!"

"Ace, stop talking!"

"No, he's right. I accept the punishment. I will make the tart."

"WITHOUT TREY'S HELP!"

"W-what?!"

"But Ace...! Isn't that a little...?"

"OH? IS IT TOO HARD FOR OUR DORM LEADER?"

"N-no! I can handle this. I'll do it by myself!"

"GOOD! NOW GET TO BAKING WHILE WE FIX UP THE PARTY!"

{Heartslabyul – Unbirthday Party}

• The rose bushes that were destroyed by blot were restored their original clean state. The branches that scattered the area were removed and more grass was planted to layer the bald ground. The light of the sun bounced off the shiny surface of the teapot and silver tableware. The ripped and tarnished table sheets were replaced by new white ones.

• Riddle seemed to have a hard time adjusting with his newfound leniency but he doesn't act like he has a stick up his behind anymore and is now more calm.

"Alright, let's see... The table sheets are white, tableware is at place, acceptable weather, it's nobody's birthday today... Is the mouse asleep inside the teapot? Actually, nevermind. It does not matter anymore."

"Hey there, Riddle. You don't have to be too lenient now. Take it easy."

"I second that, we wouldn't be able to recognize you without your habits of being prim and proper."

"Forgive me, it's just... I've never done this before... breaking a ru-- well... excluding ones for this occasion."

"Don't you worry your head about that, dorm leader! You'll get used to it. It's not so bad."

• As the three chatted, Ace approached them smugly, however, the sweat evident on his forehead from the work of cleaning up the dorm lessened the effectiveness of his smugness.

"So, you have the tart ready, dorm leader?"

"Ah yes, I have it prepared. And I wasn't assisted by Trey and followed the instructions for making it exactly the way down to every detail."

"What flavor is it?"

"Cherry."

"Did you remember to put enough chestnuts? Like, a ton of them?"

"Yes, I did. Just because I want to correct my faults does not mean you have the right to boss me around. I'm still your dorm leader."

"We'll see about that. Now you know what it's like to be in our place."

"Dorm Leader, Ace!"

"Spade. Are the flamingoes and hedgehogs ready?"

"Yes! I've also invited Grim and Siren! Yuu like you requested."

"That's good, thank you."

• Speaking of which, Riddle felt absolutely guilty about the insults he hurled at you during the previous Unbirthday Party. You looked uneasy when he aggressively pointed out your appearance. He guessed that he deserved to get screamed at by you. It's a better punishment than his mother's verbal abuse.

"Heya! We're here! Where's the food?"

"Sigh, Grim..."

"What? I'm hungry! Let's get this party started! Hey, Henchman, wanna dance later after eating?"

"☺️!"

• You nodded with a smile, it faltered when you faced Riddle. You simply stared at him like you're expecting him to do something. Luckily, the short boy find this awkward encounter as a good moment to apologize to you. He tells you to come with him to the Rose Maze.

{Heartslabyul – Rose Maze}

"Hello again...Siren! Yuu, was it?.... I want to speak with you for a moment... In private."

• Riddle sends the eavesdropping three a stern look, putting emphasis on the word private, and they read it as a signal to shoo, but they didn't. Instead, Ace, Deuce, and Grim proceeded to watch in silence at a corner, peeking at a nervous Riddle struggling to form words while under your laser-focused gaze.

"........"

"I-it's not about rule violation. It is just for a dorm leader to invite guests to get acquainted with them... Yes, it's to establish a... Well..."

".....😶?"

• Your gaze softened and your head tilted to the side, like you're both questioning and urging him to state his reasons more clearly. Riddle decided to not speak like a dorm leader but as a person who's grateful for your efforts.

"Oh, forget it. Siren! Yuu... I cannot apologize for the insults I've thrown at you... how I called you a magicless human who lacks discipline and manners... and I cannot thank you enough for saving me even after all that... But..."

"........."

"I do feel sorry, I do... I feel so ashamed of myself... Please give me a chance. A chance to give a new impression. A chance to make things right... This Unbirthday Party is now a welcoming gift and an offering of gratitude for saving me. Please, accept this apology."

"......."

"... And... I'm sorry about the Mont Blanc tart... I won't waste food for a trivial rule like that ever again."

• Your smile returned to your face and you bowed. The eavesdroppers took that as a positive sign to wait at the table for you.

"... 🙂‍↕️."

"Y-You... you forgive me?... Thank you... Thank you so much... You've no idea how relieved I am! I admit, I was worried there for a minute. Thank you."

• Riddle almost teared up from relief and joy but he wiped his eyes. This is a good sign after all, no need for more crying. He'll make the others worry.

"I, Dorm Leader of Hearstla- no... I, Riddle Rosehearts, am humbly grateful for your forgiveness. Now, shall we go back?"

• You and Riddle walked out of the Rose Maze, awaited by a hungry Grim and an impatient Ace.

"You done chatting with him?"

"☺️!"

"C'mon, c'mon! Don't just stand there. Sit here! I heard from Ace that Riddle made a Mont Blanc tart for us! I wanna taste it!"

"Grim, calm down. Your drool is soaking the table sheet!"

• In the end, the tart made by Riddle tasted terrible but you guys got a good laugh at it. Music filled the party and you danced with your new friends.

• Like I said, Riddle has a somewhat complicated friendship with you. You liked to feel free from restraint or control so you could freely express yourself however you want. Riddle is one of the others that keeps you at bay or from doing anything stupid.

• Riddle even made the effort to learn and decipher your movements. And in turn, you took time to learn some of the Queen of Hearts' rules.

• There are times where he hides behind you to scare away Floyd. There are times he lets you roam around Heartslabyul and dance within the Rose Maze (not without a warning to not break a rule). You cause less trouble now, however, he can't say the same for your idiots.

• He's also one of the individuals who protects your gold scales from watching eyes (read: Azul, Ruggie) and to provide the headmaster a list of reasons on why he can't just take it whenever Crowley asks. He warns you to stay away from others who want to monopolize you. He tries his best to threaten Azul to never strike a deal with you.

• He's seen you cure Overblot victims with your blood, amazed by its effectiveness to heal injuries and even some disabilities. For example, a student from Heartslabyul that were injured by the blot claimed that their blindness was gone. Another one from a different dorm used to have a paralyzed nerve in his leg, but now he can run with no difficulties thanks to your blood.

• He worries for your safety and well-being at this point. He knows that he cannot restrict you from every choice you make, whether selfless or foolish. Besides, you told him not to grow gray hairs for you as he has a lot on his plate as a dorm leader. You learned cautiousness from experience that there are individuals who revel in the despair of others.

• You know pain physically and emotionally all too well. It was under the guise of a person you thought who loved you. Only to stab you in the end and take everything you have dear away from you. Leaving you alone to lament in your miserable state.

• Riddle felt that pain too. It disguised itself not only as a loving figure, but as his own mother. A mother who inflicted strictness upon him like no other, caused him to Overblot and on the verge of dying. But he was saved by his friends who cared for him.

• But who saved you from your pain? It was just you. All the horrific things they did to you, yet... you let it all go, you learned to accept it and moved on your own. Riddle was astonished by your strength to let the painful past go. It gave him a deep thought that if you can do it, maybe he can too. You bared your scars to him and he bared his to you.

• Your carefree and cautious demeanor contrasts Riddle's strict and wrathful one. But overall, he thinks that you are a great and loyal friend. A friend that he didn't think he deserved, but one who needed to show him how to let hurtful things go. How to accept your mistakes and imperfections as a part of your journey.

• To dance with no fear on the stage full of pain and sorrow called life.

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eamour · 11 months ago

Text

the way you manifest.

everybody has a different way of manifesting. some like to script, some like to affirm, and some like to just visualise their desires. however, some methods seem to work for some but don’t really work on others. why is that so?

the law of assumption.

now, the reason behind why everybody seems to have their own way of manifesting or why certain manifestation methods and techniques you cannot seem to be successful with can still ensure other people success is because of the LAW. once again, it's called the law of assumption — and it operates with BELIEF. what you assume or believe to be true, has to be true.

everything is an assumption.

in practice, this means that these methods and techniques seem to "function" well for some because they ASSUME that they will function well for them. on the contrary, the methods and techniques that you believe won’t help you manifest, eventually won’t help you. another example is that you might believe affirming might not work for you but works really good for others. the result: everyone can manifest with the use of affirmations except you.

no preassigned meaning.

it is important to not that with the law, nothing actually is the way it is and nothing is promised to remain the way it is… not unless you say otherwise. in this reality, things aren’t factual, forever or fixed. they don’t have any meaning attached to them. YOU give them meaning first.

the creator's rules.

if you know how the law works, you know that you can use it to your advantage. you can decide how you want to manifest by coming up with your own rules and correctly applying them. you can even influence the way a method or a technique will function for you. and not just methods and techniques! here are some examples for rules you could have:

rule one · i always manifest within 2 days.

rule two · manifesting is easy for me.

rule three · i can manifest even if i feel sad.

loopholes in manifesting.

now, what are loopholes in manifesting? a loophole is an ambiguity or inadequacy in the law or a set of rules, according to its official definition. in more simple words, they are subjective rules you have set up to simplify manifesting. you could almost say they are "cheat codes", coding the way you manifest.

you know, there are rules to manifesting. actually, there is only one: your assumptions create. for an assumption to manifest, you need to believe in it. now, i'm not saying you can’t have doubts, but there has to be at least a little belief in there, somewhere. now, see how i said "somewhere"? what i mean is that somewhere within the process of manifesting, there needs to be BELIEF.

1 · belief in assumption. you can believe in having your desire and manifest it.

2 · belief in method. you can believe that doing a method xyz times makes you manifest your desire.

3 · belief in self. you can believe that you always manifest your desires.

this is why many people who robotically affirm can manifest. they have the assumption that they either don’t need to believe their assumptions to manifest or that simply doing the method guarantees them their desire. other loopholes could be that only desirable thoughts of you manifest or that affirming once is enough for you.

the best way to manifest.

knowing all of this, it is clear to say one thing: there is no best or perfect way to manifest. technically, they are all the same. since manifesting is personal, it is your decision to decide which methods work for you or not, which techniques get you better or quicker results. and remember, all methods and techniques are all equally accessible to you. you don’t have to do anything beforehand. you don’t have to prove yourself to be worthy or deserving for a method to work for you. again, YOU are the creator.

manifesting is personal.

in conclusion, we all manifest similarly but still differently — and that’s alright! each one of us is an individual and the way we apply the law is personal. that being said, feel free to come up with your own rules! make the law work for you the way YOU would like it to and remain faithful to your rules. that way you can make manifesting a lot more easier.

with love, ella.

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patricia-taxxon · 1 year ago

Text

Attempting to extend sympathy to my younger self via self insert fiction.

"Hello there!"

I looked up from the lunchbox on my lap towards the source of the sudden loud voice, standing four or so feet away from me was a… dog? He stood on two legs, an eager look on his face. I looked around, none of the other kids were nearby.

"Hello?" I said back, a little confused.

"My name is Paul! What is your name?" The dog replied, both in an oddly formal tone of voice and… loudly, even though he was close enough to grab.

"My name's Bradley." I said, and went back to my PB&J.

"How old are you, Bradley?" asked Paul, in that same babyish but too-formal tone, almost like a robot.

"I'm eleven." I replied, without looking up.

"I'm ten!" He said back. "Nice to meet you!"

Several seconds passed, and he didn't move or look away. I realized he was waiting for me to say something.

"Nice to meet you too, Paul." His tail twitched as I said that, but he quickly moved his paw behind him to hold it in place until it settled. "Sorry," He said, before asking another question. "What do you like to do?"

His awkward storybook-speaking was offputting to me, but no one ever talked to me at recess, especially not completely out of nowhere like this. I answered his question, "I like playing Smash Bros," but I don't know why I thought of that first. I didn't really feel like finishing my lunch, I started to pack it away for later.

"What's that?" He said back. Was that a joke? He looked curious.

"Uh… it's a game, you can play as different Nintendo characters and fight each other." I waited for him to respond, but he was still listening. "You can uh… you can be Sonic."

"That's really cool!" He said. "Can I sit next to you?"

"Hm? Oh, okay, I guess." I replied. The dog's tail instantly sprung to life, and he once again moved his paw to stop it. "Sorry," he said, and moved swiftly to sit on the bench next to me, a bit closer than I thought he would. He looked up towards me like he wanted me to keep talking, or… it looked like he was looking at the top of my head, I wasn't sure.

Instead of explaining Smash Bros anymore, I asked a question myself to take the pressure off. "What do you like to play?" Paul blinked and his ears perked up. "I like Marble Blast Gold!" He almost yelped out, before drawing back. "But… shhh, don't tell anyone. I'm not supposed to talk about it."

That didn't make any sense. "Huh? What does that mean?" I asked.

"It's the best game ever, you like… you roll, and you have to… like, you have to get to the end. Uh." He stammered. "But I'm not… I'm not allowed to play it anymore, my teachers said I'm too obsessed."

"That's bullshit." I spat.

"Yeah!!" He yelled, leaping up onto his haunches, tail wagging up a storm, until he noticed again, and pressed his paw to stop it. "Sorry." he said.

"Why are you doing that?" I asked.

"Doing what?"

"Stopping your tail." I pointed to his butt. "Aren't you like… a dog, or something?"

Paul cocked his head like I asked him a really stupid question. "Yeah? Why." He said, carefully.

We stared at each other for another couple of seconds. I didn't know how to word my questions without sounding awkward. "I've met a lot of… dogs, and wagging tails is pretty normal." I felt insane saying it out loud.

"Well I'm special!" Paul beamed. "I can talk, I can stand on two legs!" He got up and stood upon the bench, barely reaching eye level with me. "I'm in a class for special dogs only." He bumped a fist on his chest.

"Oh… okay." I said, not really understanding. I guess the rules were different for dogs that talk. It felt weird watching him do that though, and saying sorry for it too. "Are special dogs… not supposed to wag?" I asked.

"Yeah. No wagging." He replied. "'Cus humans don't wag."

"But humans don't have tails in the first place." I looked behind myself to check. "So you don't actually know if humans would wag or not, right?" I was getting seriously weirded out by this conversation, but I just kinda kept going. "How'd you learn to talk, anyways?" I asked, Paul looked like he was processing what I said very slowly.

"Like I said, I'm special." Paul repeated. "I'm learning how to make it disappear, like everyone else. First I gotta learn how to keep it still, though, so the magic works."

"Magic?" I said back to him. I mean, it wasn't all that weird compared to meeting a talking dog, but the word still threw me off.

"Yeah, lookit!" The dog hopped off the bench, hunched over with his back facing me, and started screaming like he was about to go super saiyan. I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking at, I was too startled. I might have been imagining things, but I think I saw his tail slowly retracting into his body like a lazy snake.

"Paul! What the fuck are you doing??" I shouted, but instead of responding, Paul just… went silent and flopped onto his side. I quickly rushed over, yelling "Are you okay? What just happened?" I looked over his body, flat on the asphalt. His tail had grown all the way back and… his body shrunk. His head was halfway tucked into his shirt like a turtle. His paws barely poked out of his sleeves, pointing directly forward from his body. He didn't look like a kid anymore, he looked like a dog that someone stuffed into some kid's clothes.

After a second, I thought it wouldn't hurt to poke him. "Paul? Recess is almost over." I poked at his chest, and he rolled onto his back limply. I suddenly felt silly trying to talk to him, like I was trying to reason with a pet. I tried a different approach, I clapped my hands and rapped on my knees. "Hey! Up! Food!"

Paul's eyes shot open, and he sneezed, before wiggling his legs to right himself. He took an instant and a half to realize where he was, and he suddenly cowered, looking straight at me, shivering. "Hey, what's wrong?" I whispered. He looked side to side, back at his own doggish body, and back to me. He blinked, looking like he was about to run away.

"No, no, it's okay." I tried to be reassuring, I'd never had a dog before so I didn't really know what I was doing. I almost forgot that I'd just been talking about Smash Bros with him. "Uh… do you like granola bars?" His ears perked up, and his tail swayed, his new… anatomy making it hard to reach back and stop it this time. I grabbed my backpack from behind me and rummaged through it for leftovers, I got the other of the two bars inside the wrapper, the one I didn't eat, and held it out in front of me. Paul approached me slowly, his nose twitching. "Can you… eat this, even?" I asked, as he sniffed the crumbly rectangle. He licked it soon after, and started nibbling and snarfing after that. I watched carefully, scared to make any sudden moves.

Paul looked up at me again, and I noticed his eyes were a little different. More definition, like I could tell a little more what he was feeling. His new eyes looked concerned, like he was waiting for me to do something bad. He reached up with a paw, it was looking a bit more like a hand now. I let go, and he held the bar himself as he munched away, sitting plainly on his knees.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"Maghic." The dog said through a full mouth.

"That was magic?" I replied. "I saw your tail shrink, I'm pretty sure."

Paul swallowed. "How much?"

I thought back, the image was still clear in my head. "Like… barely at all. A couple inches?"

"Aw…" He looked disappointed in himself.

We sat in silence for a bit, but there was a question I wanted to ask. "Why do you want to get rid of your tail? Like… that looked painful."

"Mrs. Millie said I can go to the regular class if I can turn human," the talking dog said, proudly.

"You're pretty bad at that." I chuckled, reaching out to ruffle his ears without thinking. Paul looked like he was about to take it personally, but suddenly lost his train of thought as my hand touched his head. "Bwuhhf…" He woofed under his breath, his tail twitched and his paws lost their thumbs again. I quickly pulled my hand back, "Sorry! I didn't…" Paul's eyes took a second to form together again, and he looked right at me, "That wasn't fair." he whined, but his tail was still wagging.

"You really are a dog!" I said, glancing sneakily behind him. Paul followed my gaze to his own tail, yelped, and quickly pressed it down with both paws.

"Oh, come on, stop it." I joked. "It's psyching me out, it looks like it hurts when you hold your tail in place like that."

Paul turned his head back at me. "It doesn't… hurt," he said, slowly and surely.

"Hm. Whatever you say." I got up and went back on the bench. After I turned around to sit down, Paul was already running towards me. I didn't have any time to think before he bounded into my lap and butted his head into my chest while his tail went crazy. The impact knocked the wind out of me, but he was pretty small, I got it back in just a second. Paul yipped and barked, maybe there were some normal words in there too, but I couldn't understand it. This is where I realized he wasn't a very special dog after all, I think he was just normal.

I scratched behind his head and stroked his back through those baggy clothes, and this time he didn't mind. He might have been crying, it was hard to tell, I didn't really know what dog crying looked like. Eventually, he settled down. I couldn't feel his shoulders anymore, he seemed in danger of falling out of his shorts if he wasn't careful. I had a dog in my lap, an extremely normal dog. He stretched his body up and rested his head on my shoulder. "I like you, Bradley." He said, a little too slowly, and a little too loudly. I didn't know what to say to that, he barely knew me. This was all very weird. "You're a good dog." I said back, just because it felt right.

I could feel Paul's body shaping up into a more human posture again as he regained composure. He let go, turned to the side, and sat down on the bench next to me again, staring at his paws in his lap. I leaned over, "You okay?" I asked. He didn't answer, he just put his paw on my wrist and started twirling the hair under my sleeve.

I quickly jerked my hand away and covered the hairy skin. "Don't look at that!" I snapped.

"You have fur too!" Paul yelled.

"No, no, that's hair. I'm just…" I didn't want to explain, it was too embarrassing. I looked like I had my dad's arms, I hoped that no one would see. "It's a condition."

"Oh. Okay." Paul stared into the distance again. We sat in silence for another couple awkward seconds before the bell rang.

"Bye, Bradley." the dog said, scampering off.

"Bye, Paul." I waved after him, being sure to hold my sleeve up with my other hand.

#writing #autism #species euphoria #cilantromixture #fiction #ughhh my child narration isnt convincing at all

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