#The Conjuring 3 Review

[jp-hunsecker]

Not only generic and derivative, but also immoral.

[vbecker10]

Language (Part 5)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 6

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: Captain Rogers thinks you curse far too much at work so he came up with a way for each word to cost you fifty cents no matter where you are in the Tower. You are desperate for it to stop and go to Loki to see if he has a spell or trick that can help you outsmart J.A.R.V.I.S.

Warnings: swearing lol... obviously?

You groan and open your eyes to the sound of your phone alarm. The sun has just started to rise, but you need to go home and get ready for work.

"Please turn that off," Loki mumbles against your back.

"I'm sorry," you whisper and let go of his hand, freeing yourself from his embrace. You turn off your alarm and sit up, yawning.

"It's too early," he says, still half asleep. Eyes closed, his hand finds your waist and he gently pulls you back towards his body.

"I have to go home," you tell him but make you no attempt to pull away again.

"No," he says simply, his arm holding you in place.

"No?" you giggle at his unwillingness to let go of you. "I need to shower and get changed. I'm still wearing my clothes from yesterday."

"I have a fully functioning shower," Loki mumbles and you can hear the sarcasm in his voice despite him being so close to falling asleep. His legs intertwine with your legs and his hand holds yours as you both easily settle into the comfortable position he held you in all night. The God of Mischief adds, "And I am perfectly capable of conjuring clothing for you."

"I don't have a toothbrush or anything," you tell him, enjoying the feeling of Loki trying to keep you from leaving.

"Y/N, I can summon anything you need," he reminds you gently.

"I guess that's a good point," you say, having already made up your mind that you aren't going home before work.

"Please stay," he whispers close to your ear.

You smile and squeeze his hand, "Okay."

"Go back to sleep," Loki says softly and you nod, closing your eyes.

You take a sip of your coffee as you sit on Loki's couch, your eyes follow him as he paces and talks excitedly. You can't help but smile at how confident he looks compared to last night.

"That might actually work," you say when Loki finished explaining his plan.

He chuckles and sits next to you, "Of course it will work. Why do you seem so surprised?"

"If I say it's because your other ideas didn't go so well, are you going to turn me into a frog?" you joke as he drinks his coffee

"You are utterly obsessed with the idea of being turned into a frog," he rolls his eyes but his smile remains.

"No, I'm concerned that it's a very real possibility," you explain. "I've never been friends with anyone who could do that."

"Ah, I see you are assuming we are friends now," he says a bit sarcastically.

"We're not?" you ask him, unsure what you and Loki are to each other after last night.

"Do you want to be friends?" he wonders, setting his mug on the coffee table.

"What are my other options? " you shrug, hoping he will give you some hint as to what answer he is looking for.

Before he can respond, there is a loud knock on his door. He sighs deeply and rubs his temples then looks at you, "That will be Thor." He notices the confused look on your face and smiles, "There are only two people who have ever bothered me when I am in my apartment and one of them is already in here."

You giggle nervously, "That's fair. Guess the plan starts now?"

He smirks and nods, "Are you ready? I promise I won't turn you into a frog."

Steve and Natasha sit at the far end of the table reviewing the agenda for the morning briefing. Tony, Bruce and Clint stand near the window placing bets on how much money you will be fined today for your swearing. The discussions are suddenly silenced when Thor slams open the door to the conference room. Everyone quickly turns to face him in surprise.

"Woah! Calm down point break, no need to break down the door. There are plenty of donuts for everyone," Tony gestures to the box on the table.

"I don't think that's the issue," Bruce says when Thor takes a step to the side to reveal that Loki and you are behind him. You look down at the ground and fidget with your fingers while Loki glares at his brother.

"What's going on?" Steve asks, standing with his hands resting on the table.

"Thor is overreacting to a simple deal I have made with Y/N," Loki says calmly and you nod.

"She made a deal with you?" Tony asks. "What, was the devil busy?"

"That almost hurt Stark," Loki smirks.

"What did you do to her?" Clint asks, obviously very concerned for your wellbeing.

"Y/N came to me last night after the Captain enforced his new policy regarding her swearing," he explains.

"Seriously Y/N, you thought Loki would help you?" Clint asks you.

You nod.

"I did help her," Loki answers for you. "There is no need for this concern you all share. Y/N is fine."

"Why doesn't she tell us she's fine herself?" Natasha crosses her arms over her chest.

Loki looks at you then back at the team as they gather closer around you both, "She cannot."

"Why not?" Natasha uncrosses her arms slowly and looks at you with growing concern.

Thor answers before Loki can, "He took her voice."

"What?!" Clint, Tony and Steve all shout at once.

Loki smiles, "Don't worry, I'm keeping it somewhere safe." He holds out his hand and a small glass vial appears, a light gray cloud swirls around inside of it. The God of Mischief places it on the conference table in front of you as you rub your throat slowly.

"Absolutely not! Give Y/N her voice back, Ursula," Tony orders.

"How dare you. I am not some common sea witch," Loki glares at him, clearly offended.

"You understood that reference?" Steve asks.

"I read," Loki rolls his eyes. "Besides, I cannot do that. We made a deal, Y/N and I made a perfectly reasonable trade."

"What could you possibly trade for your voice?" Clint asks you but you can only shrug in response.

"That is between Y/N and myself," Loki answers for you.

"I can't believe this is happening," Bruce takes off his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose.

Loki sighs, "There is no need to worry. If Y/N asks, I will be more than happy to reverse the deal."

"How is she supposed to ask? You took her damn voice," Natasha points out.

"She can write," Loki says as if the answer was obvious.

You smile at everyone and give them two thumbs up as enthusiastically as you can.

"You must certainly are not fine," Steve insists. "I can't believe you would do this to get around J.A.R.V.I.S."

"This has gone on long enough," Thor says as he takes a few steps forward and picks up the glass vial.

"Be careful with that brother," Loki warns him and takes a step forward. You shake your head and bite your lip nervously. "This is not like the magic of Stark's fairy tale. If you break that, Y/N's voice will not be released to her, it will simply cease to exist."

"You have got to be kidding me," Tony says, rubbing his temples.

"Give it back to me," Loki says sternly, holding his hand out towards Thor.

"Don't mess with that big guy," Bruce says, his eyes on the vial in Thor's hand.

You watch anxiously when Thor pulls away from his younger brother. "Remove the spell from Y/N," the God of Thunder demands.

"To do that I will need the vial," Loki counters and takes another step forward, closing the distance between them. Loki reaches for it but Thor pulls his hand away, holding it just out of reach.

If you weren't so concerned about the safety of the vial, you might be able to appreciate how much they simply look like bickering brothers and not two Gods arguing over your voice.

Tony steps in, "Thor, give it back to the sea witch."

Loki glares at Tony, "I do not have the patience for you today tin man."

He looks back at Thor and without a word, he flicks his wrist, sending his seidr towards his brother. The green cloud surrounds his hand in an attempt to pull the vial free but Thor clenches his hand and pulls violently against Loki's magic.

"Stop!" Natasha yells.

Your eyes go wide and you cover your mouth with both hands as the vial slips free from Thor's grasp. Loki's seidr doesn't react fast enough and the small glass vial falls to the floor at the older Asgardian's feet, shattering into pieces.

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[velteris]

If Zoltraak so OP, why doesn’t Frieren/Copyren use it to fight each other?: a silly tactics essay

Madhouse is absolutely killing it with their gorgeous fight scenes that also make more sense the more you dig into them. In this episode, it's the senior citizen fight scene, where Frieren busts out the scary spells for the first time after telling us that Zoltraak is fast, efficient, powerful, the best combat spell etc etc. So why don't they use it against each other? The answer is this 2-second scene:

Let’s review what we’ve been told about Zoltraak. It’s “piercing magic that pierced through the defensive magic of humans and magic resistant equipment, and directly destroyed the body”. Zoltraak is generally good at destroying physical things.

In turn, the hexagonal shield magic—as Qual deduces—“synchronises with offensive magic and disperses the power”. But this costs lots of mana, and is weak against attacks of physical mass.

The rock-paper-scissors of modern magic is, then, Zoltraak-shield-physical mass.

Another note: it seems possible to cast both a shield and another offensive magic (maybe only Zoltraak?) at the same time, as in Frieren and Denken’s duel, and as with Methode vs golems.

Back to the Frierens.

Zoltraak is fast, efficient in mana usage, and powerful. It’s “enough for mages of the modern era”. Frieren and Fern usually spam this one spell; Copyren also uses it against Denken and co. So they would like to open with it.

Knowing that, they both bring up the hexagonal shield, ready to disperse Zoltraak. But, they both realize that Frieren’s Zoltraak cannot defeat Frieren’s hexagon shield. Edel states the two methods of getting past a shield: breaking it by force, or bypassing it with speed. Neither can get a single Zoltraak off strong enough that can shatter the corresponding shield, so they start shifting their aim, but they react just as fast to each other so there’s no openings.

Then what about multiple Zoltraaks? Presumably they could both keep the shields up while also casting Zoltraak, so they could turtle down into a battle of attrition and see who makes a minor inefficient mistake. But! Copyren is facing two mages, not one. It will definitely lose in a shield-whittling contest. Even if they had infinite mana, if they sit there playing chicken with the shields, Fern will eventually blast it from behind.

Additional hypothesis: the mana used to defend against an attack with a hexagon shield will always be greater than the mana used to make the attack. Therefore, a mage should aim to always be on the offensive. In Ehre vs Fern, Fern kept creating distance and refused to get pinned down; Ehre got pinned down and that’s why she lost. Both Frierens have a motive to use as little defensive magic and as much offensive magic as possible.

Sadly, it’s a pretty empty room, with not much physical mass to use against each other; Copyren in particular probably wants to avoid eating up the walls of Spiegel’s hideaway. So they need to cast offensive magic, that isn’t Zoltraak, and that doesn’t need existing physical mass.

Before Zoltraak leading to shield leading to mass attacks, it’s likely there wasn’t that much of a need for physical mass specifically. Edel says it takes more mana to conjure than it does to manipulate the environment. But if mass isn’t a requirement, then ye olde mages probably wouldn’t have focused on magics with the weakness of, say, needing a water source nearby (sorry Kanne). It makes sense that old-fashioned attacks were therefore magics that expressed some kind of energy without significant mass: fire, lightning, wind. (Ty @wtfoctagon for laying out this pre-Zoltraak idea!)

Simultaneously, this brings up an interesting question: what kind of defence were pre-Zoltraak (therefore pre-hexagon) mages using?

1. Some other [Defence Magic], but weaker

2. A Warrior

3. More offence!

Forget this newfangled modern mass stuff. Frieren and Copyren go right back to Cast Fireball, the force of which can be dissipated and defended against with Cast Fireball.

Not using the hexagonal shield is actually a more mana-efficient defence. If Zoltraak’s out of the question, then there’s no real need to invest in the heavy anti-Zoltraak shield. And we have already seen a previous example of offence as defence: Fern vs Lugner.

We also see one more example of this kind of old-fashioned mass-less attack in the other senior citizen brawl, where Denken uses Waldgose (tornado) + Daosdorg (fire). It eats up enough mana that even Denken is tapped out by the end. Of course, for Frieren vs Denken, she has so much more mana that there’s no problem spending it on a full-body shield. But if she did the same versus her clone, she would rapidly start losing the attrition battle. So she has to defend with a less costly though much messier method.

One more advantage of non-mass elemental magic: for Copyren, using Hellfire magic is much more of an area-of-effect spell, which might be able to touch Fern as well. For Frieren, it’s a no-brainer to go along with splashing mana everywhere, to help hide Fern’s presence.

Of course, that’s not to say that they won’t take advantage of mass when it exists. The use of Hellfire to make lava out of the falling pillar/wall is a delicious and nutritious anime original addition, and it also makes so much sense.

tl;dr: the Frierens tested and discarded the possibility of a modern-style Zoltraak fight in as much time as it takes us to say "holy shit".

all this of course brings up the question:

If Frieren so OP against Zoltraak, why can Fern use Zoltraak?

because Fern’s OP OP Zoltraak go brrrrr

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Miss Me, Miss Me Not

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9

And it hits me when the lights go on (shit, maybe I miss you)

(In which a lazy writer somehow still manages to make her deadlines, much to her own shock)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining and a teensy bit of Fluff

Words: 5.8K

TW: Swearing (once again I think that's it?)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I'm not gonna lie til about an hour ago, I very much did not think I was gonna give y'all a Monday update but here we are! A couple of housekeeping things, I went back and added months to the years so hopefully that's more helpful. I lowkey dislike this part but I felt like the fic needed it and I'm excited to write the next part. Ngl, the editing on this is pretty nonexistent because trying to read this back lowkey killed me so please feel free to point out mistakes so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, and disliked and anything you wanna see going forward. I really appreciate all of y'alls feedback and the long reviews make my day! Have a good rest of your week lovies <3

September 2017

Azzi: just got home :) 

It’s a simple text and it should be easy for Paige to conjure up an equally simple reply. Instead she finds herself typing and deleting, over and over, because nothing sounds quite right. There’s this hollow feeling thrumming in her chest, that has only gotten stronger every passing minute since she’d said goodbye to Azzi at the airport. If she tries hard enough, she can still feel the remnants of their last hug lingering against every inch of her skin. She wants to memorize that feeling and create a blanket out of its threads to numb the ice cold shiver that’s been repeatedly running through her veins from the second Azzi had gotten on that plane. But even that might not be enough. Not when she’s learnt just how warm Azzi’s presence can be and how everything else pales in comparison. 

Paige lies to herself that it’s an accidental slip of her fingers, that she’d meant to press send not call, that she had every intention of hanging up the facetime on the first ring itself. 

But then Azzi picks up on the second one.

And really it would be rude to hang up. 

“Hey what’s up?” Azzi’s face fills the screen, tired eyes staring intently at Paige through the screen. 

“Oh um-” Paige fumbles for words, awkwardly shuffling her feet that are dangling off the side of her bed, “I just wanted to ask how your flight was?”

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “you couldn’t have texted me that?”

“Too tired to text,” Paige lies and the words i just wanted to hear your voice stay stuck, burning hot, in her throat, “gotta save these money-making fingers for more important things.”

“Yeah I’m hanging up-”

“NO-” it comes out far more forceful than it should and if possible, Azzi’s eyebrow shoots up even farther, as Paige clears her throat, “I mean- uh- you didn’t tell me how your flight was.”

Paige is too busy cringing at herself to notice the light blush that tinges Azzi’s cheeks. She’s too busy wondering why this girl brings out this nervous bumbling side of hers to notice the fond smile that almost cracks through Azzi’s lips. 

“The flight was okay. I actually got to sleep this time,” Azzi says pointedly and Paige laughs. 

“So what you’re saying is it was boring as hell.”

“I’m saying it was really peaceful not having someone yapping in my ear while I was trying to sleep.”

“So you didn’t miss me?” Paige presses, trying to keep her voice teasing despite how desperately she wants the admission. 

Azzi hesitates, as if she’s debating with herself, before, “I didn’t say that.”

It’s a little ridiculous how large Paige’s grin is but it’s okay, because Azzi’s smiling back, soft and shy. They’d look foolish to anyone else, the way they’re so intently gazing at each other through a screen as if there’s no barrier between them at all. 

“It’s gonna be weird going to the gym without you tomorrow morning,” Paige confesses after a second, moving to lay down on her stomach. 

“I bet. You’re gonna get absolutely nothing done without me,” Azzi teases dramatically before her eyes soften, “it’s weird that I’m not gonna see you at all tomorrow.”

There’s something gut-wrenching about that admission and yet, there’s something in it that heals a part of Paige’s heart that she hadn’t even known needed to be fixed. It means something to her that Azzi must feel it too. Because if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been just a little afraid that maybe the connection was just in her head, that maybe Azzi was simply tolerating her presence out of kindness. 

“You should just move to Minnesota,” Paige replies finally, “much nicer than Virgina or whatever.”

“Have you ever even been to Virginia?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she flips herself to lie on her back, holding her phone above her in a way that lets Paige see entirely too much and yet not nearly enough. 

“No but it sounds boring as fuck.”

“Not with me,” Azzi says, biting her bottom lip sheepishly as soon as the words are out. 

Paige smirks, suddenly filled with a brand new confidence, “yeah? You’d make Virgina interesting for me Fudd? What would we do?”

Azzi licks her lips and Paige feels her mouth go dry. 

“We’d be together,” the younger girl says finally, averting her gaze as the depth of her words begin to make Paige feel like she’s being flooded by an ocean of emotions she’s not quite ready to feel yet, “anything can be interesting if we’re together.”

It would be so easy to come up with a sarcastic quip or tease Azzi for being a sap and yet there’s a certain sincerity in this moment that feels too fragile for Paige to feign nonchalance. 

“Is Virginia nice in the winter?” she asks finally, hands fidgeting with the hair ties secured around her wrist, “Minny’s a little too cold sometimes.”

Azzi’s eyes shine and Paige wants to try and read them, find the little clues hidden in her irises and solve the mystery lingering behind the crimson flush of her cheeks. But the truth is that Paige is a little scared of what she’d find, a little scared that discovering Azzi might mean discovering herself too. 

“You should come find out some time,” the brunette says, casual tone filled with intricacies of something far deeper. It’s the closest they’ve gotten to saying anything of actual substance and they tip-toe around saying what they both want, daring the other to ask first. 

“I dunno,” Paige says, determined to win the game, “I’m not in the habit of showing up to places without a proper invite.”

Azzi scoffs, “a proper invite? Are you expecting someone to send you a carrier pigeon with a gold letter addressed to her royal highness or something?”

“That would be nice,” Paige surmises and Azzi rolls her eyes.

“Does your back ever hurt from carrying that ego?”

“Only hurts from carrying my team.”

“Oh my god you’re so full of it.”

“Full of talent? Yessirrrr.”

Azzi huffs, “Paige.”

“Azzi,” Paige hums. 

“Do you wanna come visit me in Virginia during winter break?” Azzi says finally, a small smile playing on her lips like she’s okay with losing this game as long as it’s to Paige. 

“If I must,” Paige says dramatically, shrugging her shoulders and everything as Azzi lets out an offended squeak. But inside, her heart flutters at the offer, at the idea of seeing Azzi again, even if it feels like a lifetime away. Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes. 

“Actually you know what nevermind, you don’t gotta come,” Azzi concedes bitterly,  scrunching her face (and Paige would never tell her this but she thinks Azzi looks just a little too cute when she’s mad and so maybe she riles her up on purpose)

“No takesies backsies Az,” Paige sing-songs before her lips uptick from a smirk into something more sincere, “hey Az,” she whispers, giggling to herself when Azzi pretends to ignore her, “I’d really like to come see you in Virginia during winter break.”

And as a brilliant grin dazzles across Azzi’s face, Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige. 

“Good,” Azzi whispers as they fall into a comfortable silence. 

There’s this serene sense of calm that laces itself around Paige’s nerves. Her normally fidgeting body is content to be perfectly still, an anomaly to her usual demeanor. The truth is that Paige isn’t the kind of person who’s okay with just existing; she likes to spend every second in motion, living out the high. There’s a part of her that’s scared of missing moments, scared that the people around her will leave her behind if she doesn’t chase them. But it’s different with Azzi. The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind. 

“Wait,” it’s a little while before Azzi pipes up, shaking Paige out of her thoughts, “what time is it?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to the time on her phone, confused by the line of questioning, “it’s almost 9 why?”

“Don’t you have a team party or something to go to tonight?” Azzi asks, face scrunching, “I swear you told me you had something tonight.”

“Oh-yeah- Amaya’s back to school thing,” Paige sheepishly scratches her neck, suddenly feeling itchy in her flannel shirt. She’d forgotten she was wearing that instead of her daily clothes. Hell, she’d forgotten she was supposed to be going somewhere in the first place, too occupied with other thoughts. 

“Bro get up,” Azzi orders, “you’re already late.”

“Nah it’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Paige says and she thinks she should probably feel a little more guilty about it. 

“What do you mean you’re not gonna go?” Azzi asks in disbelief, “dude you’re the star of the team. You have to go.”

“Amaya will understand besides-” Paige drags in a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as the next words fall out in a quiet whisper, “I don’t wanna hang up yet.”

“Paige c’mon we can talk tomorrow,” Azzi tries to protest but it’s half-hearted at best.

“I wanna talk right now,” Paige argues, “you don’t wanna talk to me?”

For a second Paige thinks Azzi might just say no, might just chip away a little bit of heart with a well-intentioned rejection, but she doesn’t, “always wanna talk to you P.”

“Then don’t hang up. Talk to me.”

And Azzi does. All night. 

Two weeks laters there’s a letter, in an envelope with a picture of a carrier pigeon, that arrives in the Bueckers’ mail box. 

To her royal highness, 

Unfortunately I couldn’t find an actual carrier pigeon (I swear I tried) so this envelope and the mailman will have to do. 

~ You are formally invited this winter break to the Fudd family residence in Virginia. ~

(And you better show up Bueckers)

Yours, 

Azzi

February 2033

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Ice whines petulantly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from where Paige is getting her makeup done, “this is parental neglect.”

Paige laughs, eyes closed, her makeup artist does her mascara, “you’ll survive.”

“You don’t know that” Ice argues, plucking a grape from the fruit basket before segueing into a rant about how boring Arlington, Texas is. 

Paige is grateful for the distraction her younger friend is providing. Her nerves had been on edge since the moment she’d woken up this morning, anxious to get the impending farewell press conference over with. She’d already started accepting that the Wings weren’t the right place for her but that feeling had only been heightened by her trip to the Valkyries. And ever since she’s come back, Paige feels a little bit like she’s sleepwalking through her final moments in Dallas. If she’s honest, she’s probably rushing things a little bit. There’s still plenty of time before she really has to move to Oakland but it had been her choice to move there as soon as possible. Paige had always been good at conjuring excuses and she had plenty as to why she needed to be in California so soon. But at the end of the day it isn’t about training or team bonding or any of the other hundred justifications she’s given anyone who’s asked. It’s about a little girl who’s eyes had been brimming with tears when saying goodbye, a little girl who had made Paige pinky swear that she’d be back as soon as possible. 

Really, Paige thinks she should be applauded for her restraint, because truth be told, the second Stephie’s lower lip had trembled, Paige had been prepared to ask Ice to just ship her stuff to Oakland so that she’d never have to let go of the little girl’s hand. 

And here’s the thing, Paige is willing to admit she wants to go back to the Bay Area for Stephie. It’s that pesky little part of her that’s desperate to go back for Stephie’s mother, to go back for one more hesitant yet lingering touch, that she won’t ever share with anyone else. 

“I never thought I’d live to see you and Azzi willingly playing together again,” Ice says as soon as Paige’s makeup artist leaves the room, “KK and I didn’t even try betting on it, we were that sure it wouldn’t happen. Shit I should have. I totally would have won.”

“Don’t y’all get tired of betting on my life?” Paige asks, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore the first part of what Ice said. 

“Betting on your life has made me hundreds of dollars bro,” Ice says, before a more earnest  look crosses her face, “but genuinely P, are you sure about this? There’s a lot of history there.”

Paige sighs, “it’s not about our history. It’s a basketball decision. And we’re both mature adults who know that. I’m just tryna win. Nothing else.”

“It’s never nothing when it comes to you two.”

“It is this time,” Paige argues adamantly and Ice raises her hands in surrender. 

“I just don’t want another set of teammates to have to deal with y’alls bullshit,” the younger girl teases, but it’s laced with a hint of seriousness that sends a flare of guilt shooting through Paige’s body. 

“Ice-” she begins.

But Ice is quick to change to a lighter subject, “can’t believe Jana’s the one that gets mom and dad back together. I always knew she was the favorite.”

“We didn’t have favorites,” Paige plays along, thankful for Ice and her ability to always keep the tension to a bare minimum. 

“Oh don’t lie. We all know you did,” Ice scoffs and then lets out a chuckle, “and now Azzi’s actually a mom. That’s kinda insane. And you met the kid right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” Paige says and she can’t help the way her entire face breaks into a gleaming smile as her thoughts turn into memories of Stephie. She doesn’t even realize she’s gotten lost in a different world until Ice coughs, an amused grin playing on her lips. 

“You’re so royally fucked Paige,” Ice shakes her head, “the only person I’ve seen you smile that big for before is Azzi.”

“She’s a cute, smart, adorable kid, that’s why I’m smiling,” Paige tries to defend herself. 

“She’s Azzi’s cute, smart, adorable kid,” Ice counters. 

“That has nothing to do with it,” Paige protests again but it rings hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my god I needa call KK and get this bet started. It’s only a matter of time for real,” Ice says, more to herself than to Paige, as she whips out her phone, probably texting KK. 

“A matter of time till what?”

“You’ll find out Paigey,” Ice says gravely with a mocking smile, patting Paige’s head, “all in due time.”

***

The Dallas Wings media room is buzzing, reporters desperate to ask Paige questions and the blonde tries to maintain a smile despite the fact that her heart is lurching in her throat right now. Her opening speech had been short and sweet, parroting basically the same thing that had gone out on her social media the night before; she’d been desperate to just get it out. Generally, Paige is pretty good with the media, having been immersed in the spotlight since basically forever. The attention and how to maneuver it has always come naturally to her so she’s not sure why she feels so unnerved by it all today.  From the back of the media room, Ice sends her a thumbs up and a reassuring grin and Paige lets out a breath, glad to have at least that comforting presence with her. 

“Aidrian Ginsburger with Bleacher Report, Paige, you’ve obviously spent all of your career so far with the Wings, can you tell us a little bit about the impact this organization has had on you?”

Paige smiles at the question, letting her brain skim through pages and pages of fond memories she has of time spent with this team. It might be time to move on but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have plenty of cherished moments. 

“Yeah um- this place has really shaped who I am as a person. Since day one, the front office, obviously it’s a different one to the one I came in with, they did a lot to make sure that I was comfortable. My teammates through the years have been incredible and I wouldn’t be the player I am today without them. And of course the fans you know, they always showed out for the team, for me. Always supported me in anyways and I hope that I was able to give back the love to them that they always gave to me,” she says, suddenly nostalgic for the team that had started it all. 

The next questions are similar in nature and Paige’s answer varies only in words but not substance. She feels herself start to settle into it, now fielding the expected questions about the Wings and Valkyries with an air of confidence. There are a couple questions about Azzi that make her heart thump, but that was to be expected. It’s a pretty brilliant story in the making, two MVPs who used to play on the same college team coming together. Talia had warned Paige in advance that there was no avoiding it. But for the most part the questions have an easy answer about how Azzi’s a brilliant player and she’s excited to play with her old friend again. That is until a familiar hand shoots up and all the tension that had previously dissipated, comes roaring back with a vengeance. 

“Olivia Reynolds with the Dallas Morning News, Paige, as others have said today, you and Azzi Fudd played together at UConn and you were best friends.” Olivia’s eyes glint viciously, “I mean it’s pretty well documented how hard you tried to recruit her to UConn. But despite being best friends, the two of you have been never seen hanging out, outside of games and formal events, unlike your other teammates that is-”

“Is there a point to this?” Paige asks, hands fisting in her lap as she tries to keep herself calm. 

Olivia smiles, sugary sweet, “I was just wondering if maybe there was some tension and how that would affect your on-court chemistry at the Valkyries?”

“There’s no tension,” Paige lies through gritted teeth, “we didn’t hang out because we live far apart. There isn’t much else to it. And even if there was, Azzi and I are professionals. We wouldn’t let anything off the court affect our goal to win.”

“You lived far apart before UConn too, but that didn’t seem to stop you guys. What changed?” Olivia presses.

“Time did. Our lives did. There’s nothing sensational here. It’s just a case of two people drifting apart,” Paige says and the fabrication feels heavy on her tongue. If only it really had been that simple. 

“But clearly not that much,” Olivia says, and Paige glances at the moderator, desperate for an intervention, “there were plenty of fan pictures of the two of you out getting ice cream with Azzi’s daughter. It seems like you’re already fitting into that Bay Area life-”

“I’m not hearing a question at the end of your sentence,” Paige hisses and she can practically already hear the scolding she’s going to get from Talia once her agent gets wind of how this press conference had gone. The entire media cohort is watching the exchange with wide eyes, no doubt questioning whether they were embarrassed or impressed by their colleague. Ice is mouthing something to Paige, probably something along the lines of please keep your shit together, but Paige is steaming. Really, she should have expected this. 

“Well if you’d let me finish,” Olivia snarls, the façade of innocence dropping, “even if the two of you have drifted, as you put it, clearly there’s still a relationship there. How big of a role did Azzi Fudd play in your choice to move to the Valkyries?”

Paige sucks in a deep breath, nails digging into her palm at the question, “Azzi is the best shooting guard in the country. That was her role in my decision to move to the Valkyries. I don’t know what else you’re trying to imply, but I want to play with her because we play well together. That’s it,” she stands up and there’s pin drop silence, “thank you all for coming but we’re done with this press conference. 

***

Paige is seething as she exits the media room, Ice hot on her heels trying to calm her down. The sane part of her knows she should head back to the makeup room or even to her car, instead she finds her feet carrying her in the direction of where she knows Olivia Reynolds will be, reviewing her press conference notes by the coffee machine like she always is. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” Paige spits as she comes to a halt in front of the reporter. 

“I know you think playing basketball is the only job in the world Paige, but that was a reporter doing her job,” Olivia says, her calm and composed voice only furthering Paige’s irritation. 

“Bull-fucking-shit.” Paige sneers, “that wasn’t a reporter out there, that was my ex-wife grilling me like we were back in fucking divorce court.”

Olivia cocks her head, “oh so you do remember who I am to you then?”

“Oliv-”

“Because if you did remember, I’d like to think you’d have the courtesy to at least personally tell me that you were moving to your,” she drops her voice, “ex-girlfriend’s team instead of letting me find out with the rest of the world. You don’t think you owed me that?”

“That’s what this is about?” Paige sighs, “Olivia we’ve been divorced for almost three years now, I don’t owe you-”

“You didn’t owe Azzi anything either,” Olivia whisper-yells, the calm in her voice replaced by the same anger that had tainted the last year of their marriage, “but when we first started dating, you kept us a secret for months. You wouldn’t even tell your fucking teammates cause you were so scared she’d find out,” her eyes drift towards Ice who looks like she wishes she’d made a different decision rather than following Paige out here, “you said she deserved to hear it from you but apparently I don’t-’

“I didn’t mean it like that Olivia. Look, I meant what I said up there. There’s nothing between- ”

“Spare me,” Olivia says, as she stuffs her notepad into her bag, “you can lie to all those other reporters out there about how all of this is a basketball decision. You can even lie to yourself if you want. But you can’t lie to me, not when I spent four years fighting to keep our relationship from getting crushed under whatever it is that Azzi is to you.”

***

It doesn’t matter how far Paige burrows her head into her pillows, she can’t seem to stop herself from hearing Olivia’s words reverberating through her ears. The two of them had done well at co-existing in their social circles after the divorce had been finalized. While no one could quite call them friends, they’d done a good job at being friendly, being able to converse and share an occasional drink when in their combined friend group. And if Paige is honest, she knows she’s fucked up, knows she probably did owe Olivia a call. But calling Olivia would have meant calling someone who would inevitably make Paige face the truth, just like she had today. The truth that, even with the deal Talia had concocted with the Liberty hanging in the background like a dark presence, the move to the Valkyries was about a lot more than just basketball for Paige. 

She’s so entrenched in her thought that she doesn’t bother checking who it is when the facetime rings, irritation seeping into her voice as she answers it, face still buried in her pillows, “WHAT?”

“Miss Buecks?” a tiny voice comes through the phone and for a second, Paige thinks she must be dreaming, until she finally lifts her head to look at her phone, and Stephie’s small face lights up the whole screen. And it’s like she can feel little hands on her shoulders, slowly unknotting her tightened muscles. 

“Stephie,” she breathes out, a sudden sense of serene calm washing over her previously tense body. 

“Hi Miss Buecks,” Stephie says happily before she squints at the screen, “you sleep weird.”

Paige laughs, “and why’s that?”

“You’re not wearing pajamas and it’s only seven. ‘Dults don’t sleep at seven,” Stephie says matter-of-factly. 

“It’s actually nine here,” Paige says, a little surprised by the time; she hadn’t realized she'd been moping in her bed for that long. Ice had forced her to get lunch together, not wanting to leave Paige alone after the encounter with Olivia. Once she’d finally gotten back to her apartment, Paige had flopped on her bed, taking out her frustrations on her poor pillow. 

“That’s not poss-ble,” Stephie scrunches her face, “Mama’s phone says it’s seven.”

“It’s seven in California, it’s nine in Texas,” Paige tries to explain though by the way Stephie’s looking at her, she thinks she’s probably just confusing the girl more, “how’d you figure out how to call me babe?”

Stephie gives her an exasperated look, “Miss Buecks I’m five. I know how to use facetime.”

“And does your Mama know you're facetiming me?” Paige asks, eyebrows raised.

“She’s in the shower,” Stephie whispers, grinning sheepishly. 

As if on cue, Azzi appears on the corner of the screen and Paige feels her mouth run dry. The darker skinned woman is clad in a light pink fluffy bathrobe that ends right above her knees, giving Paige the perfect view of her long, toned legs that seem to shimmer despite the shitty quality of the facetime. Rivulets of water cling to her neck, delicately cascading down the valley of her breasts before disappearing from sight. And Paige must be dehydrated because never has she wanted to taste a drop of liquid more than she does right now. 

“Stephie,” Azzi groans, as she walks towards the phone and Paige gulps, heart beating faster with every step the other woman takes, everything about her becoming clearer and clearer, “what did I say about using my phone.”

“Only in em-a-gencies,” Stephie recites, “but Mama I had an em-a-gency.”

Azzi tilts her head, eyebrows raised as she gives her daughter a knowing look, “and what was your emergency?”

“I really, really, really, this much” Stephie stretches out her hands as far as they’ll go,  really, really, really, miss Miss Buecks.”

Paige feels her heart flutter. Stephie’s words feel like a hand carefully pulling her out from under the pile of stress she’d been buried under the whole day. It’s like the little girl is pushing away the rubble pressing against her lungs, turning the rocks into dust with a light touch and Paige feels like she can finally breathe. 

“Sounds like a pretty big emergency to me,” she says, relishing the way Stephie’s face lights up at the admission, “cause I really, really, really miss you too Steph.”

“See Mama,” Stephie says, placing the phone against a wall so can place her hands on her hips and look up at Azzi with a pleased smirk. 

Azzi rolls her eyes before glaring at Paige, “you’re a bad influence on her.”

“I’m the best influence on her,” Paige argues, sending Stephie a conspiratorial wink, “just you wait Az, I’mma teach her all the good things.”

Something unreadable flashes across Azzi’s face before she’s back to looking at Paige with an unimpressed arched eyebrow, “I am not letting you corrupt my daughter Paige Bueckers.”

“We’ll see,” Paige says slowly and Azzi shakes her head before turning to Stephie. 

“Alright Stephie bean time to go brush your teeth. It’s almost bedtime babes,” she says with a stern look 

“But Mama-”

“No arguing, you have school tomorrow missy,” Azzi reminds the little girl and Paige can’t help but marvel at the mother that Azzi’s become. And it makes her heart ache for the fantasies she’d dreamed of when she was in her early twenties. She’d always known Azzi would be a great mother; Paige had just naively thought she’d be there alongside her too. 

“Can Miss Buecks stay on the phone till I fall asleep?” Stephie asks, peering up at Azzi with big doe eyes, “please Mama pleeeease.”

“I’m sure Miss Buecks has other things-”

“I don’t,” Paige cuts in far too enthusiastically, clearing her throat to get back some semblance of restraint as both mother and daughter turn to look at each other, “I don’t have anything to do tonight so I can stay till you fall asleep Stephie.”

“YAYY,” Stephie cheers enthusiastically while Azzi studies her with a weary look, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then you can read me, my story Mama.”

With that, the little girl runs in the direction of what Paige can only assume is the bathroom, skipping with childlike joy as she sing-songs about something Paige can’t quite make out. 

“You know you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks right?” Azzi says slowly as she grabs her phone and sits on the couch. 

Paige shrugs, “I have time to stay.”

“Do you?” Azzi asks skeptically, “because from what I heard the Wings are having a little farewell party tonight, for you.”

Paige narrows her eyes, “and how exactly did you hear that?”

“I have connections.”

“You talked to Ice.”

“I talked to Ice,” Azzi concedes, “and I’m pretty sure you’re already an hour or so late for it.”

“Exactly. I’m already an hour late so why bother,” Paige says, sitting up so she can rest head against her headboard, “why were you talking to Ice?”

“I can’t talk to my friend?��� Azzi asks slowly. 

“Of course you can but why specifically today?” Paige presses 

Azzi bites her lip, “I um- I watched your press conference today. You uh-” she averts her gaze, “you seemed really stressed at the end and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A soft grin upturns Paige’s lips before she can stop it, “were you worried for me Fudd?”

“That’s not-” Azzi groans, “shut up.”

Paige smirks, “you were worried for me.”

“I was concerned for my future teammate," Azzi huffs, “besides,” her face hardens, “she was way out of line.”

Paige sighs at the implied mention of Olivia, “maybe but maybe I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi protests and that oh so familiar protective tone in her voice carves itself into every crevice of Paige’s heart, “no one deserves to be put on the spot like that. She was being unethical trying to dig into your personal life like that.”

“This is nice,” Paige says softly, unable to help herself. 

“What is?” 

“Seeing you get all defensive over me. It's nice to see you still care. I didn’t know if you still did.”

Azzi’s quiet for a second, gnawing at her bottom lip as she looks at Paige, “I’ve always cared Paige. And-” she hesitates as the tightrope beneath them wavers, “I’m always gonna care.”

There’s years worth of unsaid words lingering in the silence between them as they breach some unspoken rule they’d both inadvertently agreed to. And they both know that they shouldn’t be saying things like this to each other, that they’re teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss that has nothing but destruction at the bottom. But Azzi’s words feel like sunshine, like heat waves across her skin and Paige is so tired of feeling cold. 

Before either of them can say another word, Stephie comes back into the room, crawling into Azzi’s lap.

“I’m back,” she beams, completely unaware of the way the two adults are scrambling to act normal around her. 

“Here baby,” Azzi hands the phone to Stephie, “take Miss Buecks to your room. Mama’s gonna go change and then she’ll come read to you okay?”

“‘Kay Mama,” Stephie complies, pressing a soft kiss to Azzi’s cheek before running towards her room. For a second Paige’s screen is blurred in motion until Stephie fixes her again and Paige catches a glimpse of Stephie’s room, specifically the walls that are painted the perfect shade of Valkyrie purple. 

“I love your walls Stephie,” she compliments.

“They’re pu-ple,” Stephie exclaims, “that’s my favorite color.”

“First the ice-cream, now the color, you’re stealing all of my favorites kid,” Paige teases but she’s secretly pleased by this revelation. It’s dangerous how fast Stephie’s starting to whittle down Paige’s walls and build herself a permanent shelf in Paige’s cabinet of my people. 

“Can I tell you a secret Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, bringing her lips closer to the phone. 

Paige smiles, “of course you can.”

“I think Mama misses you too,” Stephie says softly and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat, “I heard her tell Nanna on the phone.”

“Can I tell you a secret Stephie?” Paige lowers her voice, leaning into her phone. 

“‘Course you can Miss Buecks.”

Paige swallows as the admission falls from her lips, “I really miss your Mama too.”

I miss her always and I think I’ll miss her forever. 

“What are you the two of you whispering about,” Azzi’s voice cuts in as she tucks herself next to Stephie, a children’s book in her hand. 

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says immediately, winking at Paige through the phone. 

“Yeah,” Paige echoes, ignoring her erratic heartbeat, “nothing Azzi.”

Azzi looks between the both of them, clearly aware she’s being left out of something, but doesn’t push further. Instead she flips open the book, pulls Stephie closer into her arms and starts reading. If anyone were to ask Paige later, she wouldn’t have the faintest idea about a single word in that damn book. Because as Azzi’s soothing voice begins to lull Stephie to sleep, and the younger girl, despite her yawns, holds the phone up so the blonde can be included in every second of it, Paige feels herself being pulled into a dream she has no right to dream. She dreams of being in Stephie’s purple bedroom. She dreams of her and Azzi lying against Stephie’s lilac bedspread, their hands entwined in the middle over Stephie’s little body. She dreams of a forever that she’d long forsaken.

[l33bang24]

OMG It’s You (Part 6)

YouTube! Fem reader x Stray Kids

Summary: Y/N’s YouTube channel is taking off after her reactions to Stray Kids MV God’s Menu. Now she’s making videos nonstop along with working a full time job. What would happen if she got offered a job of a lifetime and met the boys of her succession?

⚠️Warnings⚠️: rambling, rambling, and more rambling

🏷️: @laylasbunbunny @weirdowithaphone @silverstarburst @jusanontstuff @anxiousskylar @drewsandsebastianswife @amararosesblog @niaalove (Taglist open)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 2.5 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6.5 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

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Y/N’s POV

I felt a sense of being overwhelmed as I attempted to set up the PO Box address. Gasping for breath, I went to my desk to power up all the necessary devices. I sank into my chair while waiting for my computers to boot up. I had just started reading an email when I received a call from the post office. After logging into my laptop, I returned to the email to continue reading.

Dear Y/N,

We closely follow your channel and greatly appreciate your insightful reviews on K-pop albums. On behalf of everyone here at JYP Entertainment, we are pleased to offer you exclusive access to Stray Kids' newest mini album, Oddinary. We kindly request that you refrain from releasing the video until the official release date. We would also request early access to the video to arrange for Stray Kids to watch it together before the release. We sincerely appreciate your continuous support for Stray Kids. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Park Jin-young

I almost wanted to roll my eyes when he asked me not to release the video until everyone could access the mini-album. Like, I would even think about doing that anyway. I click on the attachment below where the mini album sits, waiting to be listened to. I look back at all the stuff I brought from the post office and drop my shoulders. ‘Do I want to record this video first, or wait and make a video about all the stuff I got from the fans?’ That thought alone was already making my head hurt. “On one hand, if I go ahead and listen to the mini album, all I’ll have to do is edit it. However, I’ll have all these packages and letters littering my room.

On the other hand, if I do the stuff from the fans, I might be unable to record the mini album video before it releases.” I say aloud to myself. I knew that no longer sitting here would prevent me from doing anything.

After making up my mind, I decided to make a short video showing all the stuff I got from the post office and then review the mini album. So that way, I can edit it and have it ready. In the meantime, I can start opening up the mail I’ve gotten from the fans. Satisfied with the plan I’ve conjured in my head, I get started on executing my plan.

Before I go any further, I type up a professional email to JYP thanking him for the access and promise not to release the video until everyone else has access.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After creating a brief video showcasing the items I received and promising to film myself opening the packages, I uploaded it to my channel. Next, I retrieved the attachment for the mini album. I reached for my headphones from the rack on my desk and plugged them into my laptop. After conducting thorough sound checks to ensure the viewers and I could hear the music clearly, I proceeded to freshen up and grab something to eat once everything was set up to my liking.

Returning to my seat, I feel refreshed after showering and having a satisfying meal. I lean back and settle in, cleaning my teeth thoroughly with brushing and flossing. I need to present myself well to my audience, and I want to avoid any distractions, like food stuck between my teeth, that could detract from the experience. The thought of it gives me chills.

Grabbing my favorite pair of over-ear headphones, I carefully place them over my ears, ensuring they fit snugly. I double-check the microphone to ensure it's picking up my voice clearly, adjusting the distance as needed. Taking a moment to compose myself, I settle into my chair and take a deep breath to calm my nerves. With everything in place, I press the button to turn on my camera and count to five before flashing a warm smile and beginning my address to everyone watching.

“Hello Lovelies! So, I have some fascinating news for all of you. I received an email from a certain company and have been given early access to this artist's mini-album. That’s right! JYP has given me early access to Stray Kids newest Mini Album!” I start excitingly clapping to myself and smiling as wide as I can. “Now, while I may be getting to listen to this early, this video will not hit my channel until the actual release date comes. I will also upload this video once everyone has access to it. As most of you know, I listen to the whole album and then talk about it—what I like about it, what stands out most, etc. Still, in the end, I will give this album an honest review and rate it from 1 to 10. So, let’s get started.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Third Person POV

The boys were called into one of the offices, and you could say they did not feel this would be a good meeting. Even when they get to the room, they see their boss already there with a laptop. Chan, getting ready to take the heat from their boss for the group, gets stopped by JYP. “I didn't call you here because you did anything. I called you here for quite the opposite.” The boys were about to ask him what they were called in for, but their boss beat them. “I have something that I want you boys to watch. I think you will enjoy this. Leave the laptop when you’re done and press play when ready.” He tells them, leaving them with the laptop. Once he leaves the room and the boys can no longer hear his footsteps, they rush to the computer. They hesitate before pressing play, but what they see leaves them speechless.

It’s a video of Y/N, and they see that their boss gave her early access to their comeback album. Before they get too far into the video, they get chairs to be comfortable while watching her listen to their music. Changbin brings up the idea of connecting the laptop to the projector so it's not crowded around a small screen. They all agreed and fixed everything; all they had to do was press play on the laptop. Once everything is set, Chan clicks on the play button. All attention turns to the screen showing their favorite YouTuber.

“So, Stray Kids newest comeback album is called Oddinary and I will edit in a picture of what the cover looks like.” Before talking about it, she adds a picture of what their cover looks like. “Just from looking at it, I would say it looks pretty dope, like a screen-like mannequin head with screws showing out of it. Their color scheme is green, black, silver, and maybe purple. The titles on the album are, in order, Venom. Maniac. Charmer.Freeze. Lonely St. Waiting For Us with Bang Chan, Lee Know, Seungmin, and I.N. Muddy Water with Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, and Felix. I like all these song titles. Waiting For Us will be a tearjerker, so I must have my tissues on standby.”The boys start laughing and nudging each other. She bites her bottom lip while moving her cursor to the first song. “I’m going to listen to the songs in order, and I might save Waiting For Us last since I want to make sure Muddy Water gets a fair chance. Plus, I would cry in the end. Okay, without further ado, let’s get started.” The boys watch and gauge her reaction to each song. She tells them that she will talk about each song after listening to them all. When she reaches the end, she stops playing the last song. “Wow. I’m trying to save all my thoughts until after I listen to Waiting For Us. Why am I so nervous about listening to this? I know it will be a good song, but this one might knock it out of the park.” She shakes her head. “Alright, let’s do this. I’ve got my tissues on hand.” The boys laugh with her. The music starts to play, and her reaction changes right away.

Chan sees her go ahead and grab a tissue. Lee Know sees that her eyes start to look shiny. Changbin says that she’s gripping the tissue in her hand tightly. Hyunjin notices that she’s trying to keep her face neutral but fails to smile. Han watches as a stray tear falls down her face, even though she’s happy. Felix’s eyes follow her hand as she wipes her face with the tissue. Seungmin looks as she replays the song again. I.N. watches as she closes her eyes, listening deeply to the words, and tears stream down her face. At the very end, she removes her headphones, looks off to the side, and then laughs.

“I told you I was going to cry. I knew it was inevitable.” The boys smile at the girl on the screen, waiting for her review. “I will give this mini album a 100 out of 10. It has some great aspects to it. I love how each song fits and feels with the album title. There was a reason why I left Waiting For Us last: because I knew I would fall in love with it and did not want to listen to the other tracks. As it turns out, I was right.” She and the boys laugh.

“One thing about listening to a song for the first time is that not all click with you immediately. Everyone is different. Sometimes, it may take a few listens before you think, ‘I dig this song.’ Others will like it right away. I would say that I loved each song, but a couple of songs that didn’t click right away were Venom and Muddy Water. Now, does that mean I don’t like those songs? No, I enjoy them. That’s like the IN LIFE album. At first, The Tortoise and the Hare didn’t click with me. I loved the lyrics and the music, but a couple of parts in the song threw me off. Now that song can be put on repeat, I wouldn’t get tired of hearing it repeatedly. The moral of all the nonsense I’m saying is that sometimes songs don’t click right away but end up promising.”

The boys, watching her intently, wait for her final words. “I made two edits of this video since I knew I wanted to send one to the guys.” The boys freeze up as she looks straight into the camera before continuing. “Stray Kids. If you’re watching this right now, I want you to know how proud I am of all of you. You’ve come this far, and you’re still doing an amazing job. You keep showing Stays daily that you still have tricks up your sleeves.” She smiles at them. “Keep up the good work, but take care of yourselves. That means taking breaks, ensuring you eat, and getting the necessary sleep.” She points at the camera, “That means you too, Christopher.” She raises her eyebrows. “Don’t make me fly over there and force you to sleep.” The boys start to tease their leader with her mocking words. He waves their hands away, trying to listen to what she has to say. “Well, that’s it for the video! I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did until we meet again. Bye!” She smiles, waving at the camera.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(A/N: I decided to add this in because why not 🤷🏻‍♀️ The reader gets first access to Stray Kids mini album and Stray Kids get early access of the reader reacting to their newest comeback. I’ll be doing a second part to this chapter specifically to the reader videoing herself opening the packages from her fans (Including the boys 🤪)

(With a special surprise 😏)

[paganimagevault]

Four images of Thor 'The Wind Raiser' 8th-11th C. CE.

"Perkins provides numerous written examples of Norse sailors attempting to conjure up wind magic, often through the invocation of the God Thor, who is charged with special responsibility for the weather. Perkins relies on a detailed explication of a passage from the little known Icelandic þáttr (tale) to argue that, as with his better-known hammer-wielding influence over thunder, the God's control of the wind is instrumental. Perkins interprets the terms skeggrödd and skeggraust (each meaning 'beard-voice') as the act of Thor blowing out the wind. The central argument of this work is that the Eyrarland image is a plastic representation of Thor carrying out this process, using his beard in the manner of a wind instrument. Perkins is an accomplished philologist and his reading of the passage is convincing. However it is a limitation that the text is provided only in Old Norse, though passages in Latin and Russian are translated. Old Norse texts will continue to be marginalized in medieval studies if they are not made accessible to those outside the rather narrow discipline of Norse studies. An engaging and technical discussion of Scandinavian artefacts and texts will always find an audience there but other scholars are prevented from fully appreciating this argument if they cannot understand the critical texts. The argument that Thor was visualized as blowing out the wind, and that he was invoked to influence the wind leads to the conclusion that the Eyrarland image and other similar artefacts can be identified as amulets carried by those, presumably sailors, who most wanted to control the wind. Perkins briefly mentions a strikingly similar image to the Eyrarland image, the bronze Rällinge image. As this small figure is in rather an excited condition, he is usually identified with the fertility God Freyr, an identification with which Perkins concurs. However the Rällinge image too is stroking his beard, in the gesture which Perkins repeatedly characterizes as Thor's wind-raising ritual. Frustratingly, this parallel is not explored. The remaining sections of the book follow this conclusion into archaeological territory. Perkins focuses specifically on four small figures, including the Eyrarland image. The figurines were found as far apart as Iceland and the Ukraine, and made from media ranging from carved amber to cast bronze but Perkins identifies in them distinctive characteristics which, he argues, type them all as representative of Thor in his wind-raising capacity. These symbolic qualities range from the general observation that they tend to have the glaring eyes and muscular physique appropriate for textual accounts of the 'bruiser' God (p. 70), to the very specific feature that each of them appears to be holding his beard like a wind instrument and blowing into it."

-Thor the Wind-Raiser and the Eyrarland Image (review) by Katrina Burge, University of Melbourne 2005. The 3 bottom images are from the GermanicMythology website.

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Dark Blue Moon and the Suffering Sun Chapter 13

I hope you all enjoy! please comment and reblog and tell me what u enjoyed <3

MASTAPOST

The reality hit Maddie like a truck, once they’d ferried the kids home, and returned to Fentonworks. Bruce Wayne had excused himself, and went back to his hotel after bidding farewell to them.

That left her and Jack alone on the couch. Jazz was upstairs, probably studying psychology and sciences, on her way to be a genius just like her family.

Just like Danny.

Tears wracked Madeline. Jack was openly sobbing at the couch. Not the silly way he would sometimes cry at small things that he would get over quickly. Maddie could feel the bone-deep anger and grief seeping through her and her husband.

She needed to tell Jazz. Tell her what had happened. But she dreaded the thought of talking to her daughter in this state. It wouldn’t do to give her the news and then break down underneath Jazz’s feet.

That thought didn’t do much to stem the tide. Maddie idly reached for the tea, cold from where they’d left it in the afternoon. The realization that this was happening again, again in the family, rocked her to her bones. Maddie’s mind conjured up images of blood over wooden floors, and red hair spilling out and covering still, dead eyes. Claw marks over a bruised throat.

She had trusted Danny. Loved him more than anything. What mother couldn’t trust their child? That sweet boy whose eyes sparkled with kindness and who jumped up and down on dreams of seeing the stars. His kindness meant he gave anything a chance. She had thought she’d lost him. She had raged and tore through everything and everyone and suddenly, through no result of her actions, he came.

And now he was gone again. Taken, just like her great-great-grandpappy. Just like so many others across the world. Just like Alicia’s son. Never to be seen again.

There had to be a way, an answer. There had to be some kind of inconsistency in the data. Something that could show the path forward, a path where her baby boy could still be out there and able to returned home safe.

Maddie descended the stairs into the labs, ready to look over dusty notebooks, and old journals. Jack followed her soon after, not a word exchanged between them.

To say Bruce Wayne was shaken was an understatement. That girl, Samantha, had no idea what she was talking about. All Bruce was interested in was the safety of his son and Daniel Fenton, and the pursuit of justice.

That didn’t mean she would’ve had a point, once upon a time. How Jason came back, but it wasn’t a joyous celebration, but the beginning of more pain, more misunderstanding and accusation. How Damian first came to them. He had a son who had finally returned home, but there was no celebration then either.

They had just started to get along again. They were this close to being happy.

Bruce held his head in his hands. He needed to review the facts again. The facts, the players, the unknowns and mysteries. Damian just had to be out there, he just had to.

Sirens, the GiW, the Fentons… Where to begin?

A message pinged on his comm. It was from Tim. Had he finished sifting through the files?

Bruce opened his laptop, seeing an email with attached analysis and files. Good work, Tim. He knows how hard it must be for him, to dedicate this effort into saving a brother with whom he had a very rocky start.

The email confirmed many of his suspicions. Tim was able to recover the majority of the files that Tucker Foley had attempted to destroy. Damning evidence showed Samantha and Tucker engaging directly against various sirens, using magic and technology respectively. Daniel Fenton was nowhere near such attacks, but his role as supplier to Phantom was clear. At several points over the last few months, the boy could be seen sneaking into secluded areas with experimental weapons and gadgets stuffed into his pockets, that would later be seen in the webbed hands of Phantom.

Daniel was hardly ever seen in the same vicinity as Phantom, or any other siren. That was not surprising. The kid wasn’t athletic in any way like Samantha, nor did he have her talent for the mystical arts. He didn’t have Tucker’s affinity for technology, either. That, combined with the obvious discomfort around his parents’ grudge against sirens meant that it was reasonable he’d avoid being seen around sirens at all costs, while silently supporting them from the background.

The kid had his convictions, was for sure. But what kind of motive would cause the boy to do such a thing? Going against his parents was normal, almost ubiquitous at that age range. Did this trio harbour desires of becoming a hero, like Dick and Jason and all others that followed?

Tucker Foley kept Tim and the Batcomputer out for half an hour with nothing but a laptop. Sam Manson had an incredible drive to do right, and a less impressive sense of restraint (it pained him how much of his children that reminded him).

It was clear they had the hearts of heroes, and the potential too. But those desires landed his children in immense pain over the years, failures Bruce would regret for the rest of his days, and now those same failures repeated once more.

He needed to do this, for them.

The GiW were suspect. He would need to direct the Batcave into cracking their secrets open. Those men could not be trusted one bit. Not their DNA test, not their documents, not their badges. And certainly not for their CSI skills. They didn’t even report whether there were signs of a struggle on the island where Damian’s blood was found!

And for what motives did the sirens even abduct people in the first place? The more he considered, the more the GiW’s explanation of Damian being devoured seemed like utter bullshit. He hoped that was not denial speaking.

Bruce began to plan.

His phone rang. He ignored it. He formed a list of contacts to call upon for advice and consultation.

His phone rang again. He made a web of connections to the Fentons.

His phong rang, rang, rang again. A collage of every unsolved missing persons’ case ‘from the last twenty years.

The phone answered itself on speaker. It jolted Bruce from his work. Alfred’s stern voice sounded out. “Master Bruce, you are spiraling again, sir.”

Bruce hummed. “I’m working, Alfred.”

“Yes, I know. However, in your pursuit to discover Master Damian’s whereabouts, I must remind you that your other children still need their father. Master Timothy is on his eighth cup of coffee, and Master Richard has sent twelve common crooks to the emergency room. Master Jason had to calm him down, sir. They need you, sir.” Alfred stressed.

Bruce stood up, his back cricking from the strain of hunching over documents and files. He stared at the growing pile of papers on his desk and tabs on his laptop, before sweeping them all to the side.

“You’re right, Alfred. Thank you for reminding me.”

Why? Why? Why, why, why, why why? That was the question running through the Fenton parents’ heads as they combed over observations, data, charts, and historical records. The documents and files sprawled out over the floor of the lab. They had to find the connection, if there was one out there.

Why did the sirens abduct humans?

Despite what the goons in white thought, the biologist in Maddie found herself doubting it was all for food. Considering their latest population estimates, the amount of humans required to sustain siren numbers was completely impractical.

Ok, maybe they don’t have to eat humans, but do it as a luxury?

Such a hypothesis would have seemed more plausible, had there not been a plethora of new data counteracting that point. The Amity Island sirens pursued a number of different goals, very few of which overlapped, very few of which involved eating humans in any way. If there was an incentive to eat humans or even just abduct, then far, far more people would’ve been grabbed off the piers and beaches, even if Phantom could stop them all.

That lead to another question. Why would the sirens of Amity not even bother with abductions for the most part, when the majority of sightings and suspected siren incidents were brought to light because of the missing people?

Maddie kicked the wall. The impact resounded and echoed through the room.

Jack wrapped his arms around her waist tenderly, a calm presence. Maddie’s heart relaxed a little, the scent of chocolate bringing her back to warm nights with the kids. “You know this reminds me of a story grandpa Fenton told me about when he was a kid back during the war.” Jack said quietly. “His grandpa used to be a surveyor or analyst or some kind of smart guy at some big factory, makin’ planes to fight the Japanese. One morning he was banging his head on the desk.”

Maddie wasn’t sure where Jack was going with this, but she nodded for him to continue.

“And so Grandpa Fenton asked him, ‘Gramps, what’s the big deal?’ and great great grandpa showed him these pictures. They showed where bullet holes would appear, said it was to design better armour for ‘em. But the strangest thing was that none of the bullet holes were in the engines or near the tail. Gramps was seriously worked up about it! Spent all day pacin’ back and forth.”

Maddie gasped. Jack continued, although trailing off. “Anyway when Grandpa Fenton told me about it, all I could think of was how nice that they had planes comin’ back anyway. Have you seen the casualty rates for those things? Gave me the stuff of nightmares!”

Information whirled through Maddie’s head.

“And that’s how I gave up my dreams of being a fighter pilot!”

“Jack, you’re a genius!” She shouted. Jack blinked.

“Huh? What for?”

Maddie jumped up and kissed her amazing husband. This was a breakthrough.

It was survivorship bias. The reason none of the planes returning had bullet holes in the engines and lower fuselage was because the planes that had taken hits there were too damaged to return in the first place!

They were too busy looking at what they could see and not spending enough time looking for what they couldn’t. Jack’s great, great grandpa needed to look at the situation holistically, and from there it would all make sense.

What did that mean?

Sirens were crafty. And as they learnt from the attacks on Amity, they were petty, ambitious, power-hungry, lustful, and vengeful, among many other insidious attributes.

She and Jack had been fixating on the missing people cases, but what if those cases were only a small number of the illicit criminal dealings these monsters had been unknowably perpetrating in the human world? And if sirens can commit many, many other crimes than mindlessly violence and murder, then that means there could be any number of other reasons they could abduct a human.

If they wanted revenge or to satisfy their bloodlust, would they not have left a body somewhere? But no such body of either Damian Wayne or Danny was found. If they ate the boys, then the blood would’ve attracted sharks, but no sharks were to be found either.

Terrifying scenarios passed through Maddie’s mind. Slavery, trafficking, arena fighting. Any number of horrendous crimes that would not require any spilt blood. Horrors unimaginable for a woman to see her child suffer through. But a tiny, faint light shone through all of them: hope.

Because she had reason now to believe Danny and Damian Wayne were alive, out there somewhere, praying for their parents to come save them from the nightmare.

Jack blinked, expression blank. “You know I don’t mind staring at your beautiful face for hours, but I feel like there’s something you’ve figured out.”

Maddie’s eyes turned steely and determined. “Jack, get the SAV ready. We’re going on a hunt.”

The only one who knew where the boys were was Phantom, and Maddie would extract every secret that menace kept, even if it meant tearing him apart. Molecule. By. Molecule.

[rotisseries]

I also want to talk about the implications of the hateno house

THANK YOU LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM WHAT THE REST OF MY BLOG LOOKS LIKE RIGHT NOW

ok so i just info dumped all this to a mutual earlier but LET'S REVIEW THE FACTS. SO.

zelda is living in link's house from botw. and while the sidequest was optional it was supposed to get torn down if you didn't buy it. so we can ASSUME that in totk canon link bought the house!!! so it was his house!! and we COULD assume that she just kicked link out, but that doesn't sound like her!!! and HERE'S WHY THEY'RE ACTUALLY SHARING THAT DUMB LITTLE TWIN BED EVERY NIGHT

a. zelda's journal mentions that link accompanies her everywhere. he's always sticking by her side, which fits him perfectly as her destiny appointed knight and also her friend and also more once i get my hands on the zelda dev team. AT THE VERY LEAST he would definitely live near her. but there are no other places link could possibly be living in this town. i haven't made it through the entire game yet so i can't say for sure that there's nowhere in the entire game that he could be living but my money is on fucking no. also every single time you talk to an npc they're like "hey link :D! where's zelda?" pretty much confirmation that you never see one without the other. they are a UNIT

b. zelda's diary mentions that she had a builder add on a secret room for privacy. WHY WOULD SHE NEED A SECRET ROOM FOR PRIVACY IF IT'S HER HOUSE AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE LIVING THERE??????? also in her study there's link's hair tie. why is his hair tie in her house?🤨 (also conjures thoughts of her doing his hair <3333) ALSO in her study she has ANOTHER journal where she mentions that the fact that link sticking with her so much has manifested in wear and tear on his clothes, so she secretly had a new and improved shirt made for him and she hid it at hyrule castle. 1. gift for him!!! 2. she set up a scavenger hunt for him!!! 3. why can't she hide it at her own house????? hmmm??? HMMMM???????🤨🤨🤨 IT'S BECAUSE HE LIVES THERE I KNOW IT

c. the house has lot's of the same decorations from when it was link's, the flower on the nightstand, the furniture is the same, THE DINING TABLE IS SET FOR TWO, and link's picture from the dlc is still there (if you play the game with a profile that has a botw save on your switch, which i can't personally confirm because i'm playing totk on my new switch and my profile doesn't have a botw save on it because i played botw on the family switch) but anyway, link's decor. AND. THE MOST DAMNING PIECE OF EVIDENCE. YOU. THE PLAYER. AS IN LINK. CAN STILL SLEEP IN THAT TWIN BED. IN THIS GAME, YOU CANNOT SLEEP IN ANY NPC BEDS. IF THAT WAS TRULY JUST ZELDA'S (AN NPC) BED THEN YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP IN IT. I REST MY CASE. ZELINK CANON BUT THEY WON'T CONFIRM IT. MR. ANOUMA COME OUTSIDE I JUST WANT TO TALK

[botanylobotomy]

Spirit Shops Discords Masterlist

Welcome to my list of discords for Spirit Shops! If you have a spirit shop and have a discord please IM or PM me with your shop name, pronouns, your selling platform, and link to your discord!

As an added note before we get to the list, if you are curious about reviews for shops on any platform or looking for a place to connect with others who are in the spirit work community as well as learn about experiences I suggest joining The Summoner’s Review. It has a section for anonymous reviews so you don’t feel the pressure of having to leave a good review. Some shop owners are also in the server and if you have concerns or questions there is a lovely channel to ask questions and have them addressed.

Updated: 7-3-24

Ginger, Brich, and Root

Ran by Keegan {he/they}

Side shop: Wynter's Wonderland, ran by Wynter {they/them}

Discord Shop

Discord Link

Encyclopedia discord link

Nightside Denizens

Ran by Pharaoh {he/him}

Etsy Shop, personal site

Discord Link

Scarlet Summers Conjures

Ran by Raven {she/her}

Discord only shop

Discord link

Psychic Kitty Reese

Ran by Kitty {she/her}

Discord, Facebook, and Shopify shop

Discord Link

Crashing conjures

Ran by Crash {She/Her}

Discord & personal website

Discord link

Sunset Nest:

Ran by Nox {they/them} & Parker { He/they }

Looking to reopen soon

Discord Shop

Discord link

Lunar Rose Spirit Services:

Ran by Lilac {Fae/she}, Moon Lily {She/Her}, Dandelion {They/Them}, & Hua {They/Them

Discord Shop

Discord Link

Three Souls

Ran by: Ember {They/He/Xe}, Astra {She/her}, & Vackra {She/her}

Personal website & Discord

Discord Link

Clown's Cosmic Cove

Ran by Clown {He/They}

Etsy & Discord Shop {thoughtforms & Divination only}

Discord Link

The Wyvern Forge:

Ran by Obsydian {She/they}

Discord Shop

Discord Link

The Hidden Spirit Lair:

Ran by Meister Miau/Ilinga {Any pronouns}

Currently on Hiatus

Discord Shop

Discord link

Royal Rose

Ran by Novi {She/her}

Etsy, personal site, & Discord

Does Divination & Custom Conjures

Discord Link

The Sapphire Moon

Ran by Slate {He/they}

Discord Shop

Discord Link

Mystic Fox Den

Ran by Foxie {she/they}

Discord

Does divination services, conjuring on hiatus

Discord Link

[thenightling]

Interview with The vampire season 2, episode 3 review

What's maddening about this episode is how much they get right while also sprinkling in such a mess. Again we are reminded that someone wants to buy this triptych art piece that Louis didn't even know that they were selling and this mysterious buyer is using a middle man. I'm calling it now, the buyer is probably Marius. And now The Talamasca has finally made its appearance. I'm actually amused that the showrunner calls them the supernatural Men in Black because that's how I used to describe them as a teenager and I felt my description was woefully inaccurate but I'm amused by the concept, even though that seems to be what Winston is doing with The Ghostbusters in the current film franchise and I think they might be doing it better. Did you catch the Talamasca agent's name? Raglan James AKA The Body Thief who wants to run off inside Lestat's powerful, immortal body. The flashback of Armand meeting Lestat is maddening. I get that it's from Armand's point of view and he's very bias against Lestat but Some of it is so painfully out of character for those of us that love Lestat. For example, it was Nicolas who came up with the Theatre of The Vampires out of the theatre that he and Lestat worked at when they were mortal. Lestat would have thought it was vulgar, he wouldn't have come up with it. And why would Lestat seduce Armand to learn how to read minds and use telepathy? These things came innately to Lestat in the books. It was Armand who tried to seduce Lestat and at one point tried to blood r8pe Lestat and Lestat beat the crap out of him for it. I also noticed this episode had the weird addition of vampires with seasonal allergies. Why? Vampires are supposed to be immune to things like that. And vampires with moles all over their groin. Again... why? Whatever happened to Anne Rice's vampires having perfect skin? Why add these weird details? Armand conjuring fire in his hand like a video game sorcerer was just plain cheesy. The "Fire gift" (pyrokinesis) worked more like Stephen King's Firestarter, not Harry Dresden on a bad day. Also this was an odd thing to do with Armand, that he was ready to execute Louis. Armand never had any intention of killing Louis in the book and the main reason he wanted Claudia dead was to have Louis's heart to himself, what she did to Lestat was just a convenient excuse. Also does anyone else notice a weird theme of ableism this season? Last episode it was "How can he hunt if he can't see?" so a vampire's head was bashed in. Now a rule about not to make a child into a vampire has "Don't make someone a vampire if they're crippled." Why the Hell not? Most physical disabilities are corrected with vampirism in Anne Rice's novels and if they aren't the vampire has heightened senses to compensate. This strange ableism is an odd, recurring theme, almost as annoying as the excessive and unnecessary smoking. Another odd detail, with the theatre of the vampires, why does the human victims dragged out on stage all say the same "Line" without deviation? It's not an act so why do they all say the same exact thing? Wouldn't there be variety like "Help! This theatre is actually a cult!" or "This is not an act! These people are cannibals!" or "These are REAL vampires!" or "Where the f--k am I?" This is surprisingly unrealistic and draws me out of the story that each victim says the same thing when they stumble out on stage. Finally, it's becoming more and more obvious that the first season was supposed to tell all of Interview with the Vampire and they decided to stretch it out because now it's waring thin. You can FEEL the padding now, it might as well be a CW show.

[witch-in-the-dirt]

My Honest Review of ‘Slavic Witchcraft; Old world Conjuring Spells and Folklore’ , By Natasha Helvin

Before I start, I am not here to question Natasha’s heritage or place in the Caribbean African diaspora spirituality’s. If you have comments on that, that’s up to you. I neither have the background or place to discuss that.

My review is also on my Goodreads,

Review

Natasha Helvin, as described in her own words, is an occultist, hereditary witch, and priestess of Voodoo. Born in the Soviet Union and later moving away at 18. She claims to have learned from her mother and grandparents, the traditions of old world Slavic paganism.

All this and yet, she cannot source anything she says, save a very unfounded “Just trust me.”

The book is separated into 10 chapters, the first two and introduction focusing on ‘The traditions,’ and other folklore information as well as history. The later 8 sections are all about Spells and spell work, and superstition.

Introduction; Sorcery as a Living Tradition.

Slavic Witchcraft was published in 2019, deep into the popularization and hype of witchcraft and paganism in the 21st century. And yet, Natasha chooses to open her book with a Cautionary Note, which warns the reader that what is inside is ‘taboo’ and ‘forbidden.’ Which is what initially made me raise an eyebrow at what I was reading.

The majority of this section was just discussing her childhood, and experiences to solidify her position as the teacher in this book. Nothing too unusual, and nothing of note. I won’t comment on someone’s life experiences as a point of note. But it’s hard to see the point in bringing it up, when it just loops over itself, as if to philosophize on it rather then make a point. Nostalgia is a valid place to write from, even in Spirituality and Nonfiction, but there are ways to go about it, to make a point. As an example; Braiding Sweetgrass, By Robin Wall K. She makes many points of talking about her life, that ultimately ends with her informing the reader of a life lesson. In Slavic Witchcraft, this just becomes a loop, that is hard to read.

1, Pagan Christianity or Christian Paganism

This Chapter highlights the most glaring issue in the entire book. There are NO SOURCES. Throughout this chapter Natasha Heavily references historical events and real life situations that do have the history to back them up. The Indoctrination into Orthodox Christianity, and the way they amalgamated pagan practices into their religion, are true historical facts. The way paganism out beat Christianity in Russia multiple times, are facts. However, the author refuses to use references and build a bibliography which makes everything she says feel less credible.

Here I will also address the 4 Elements. This isn’t the first and won’t be the last time I bring it up in a Spirituality book review.

Where is your information on the four elements as the building blocks of the universe coming from. It’s not a universal idea? Multiple other cultures have elements ranging from 3-5 or six. I would love genuinely a reference from where Natasha has the Ancient Slavs using these elements as a structure of their beliefs.

2, Slavic Magic Power and Sorcery

There’s a lot of things in this section that just require the reader to trust that Natasha is telling the truth without any resources to reference. Once again a lot of this book would have benefited from sources but because there are none, you just have to trust her.

An example is the Sorcerers Song. She dedicates quite a bit of this chapter to ‘folklore’ and often references this thing called the sorceresses/sorcerers song. The song in question is the dying sorcerers last words, before they transfer magic to someone else. A lot of the stuff in here is very fantastical, and there is a level of difficulty in understanding what is just fun storytelling on the authors part and what is to be believed as fact.

Here she also contradicts herself on the facts of who can and cannot be a witch.

What a witch is according to folklore, where the unfortunate use of a Romani slur is used, in a sentence that is just a repetition of really old racism. How can you write the sentence that describes witches as “ugly iron toothed and (racial stereotypes)” without also clarifying that these are all descriptions from a post orthodox and heavily antagonistic mindset?

These chapters really clarified for me that this book is not about Slavic paganism as a religion but rather, Ms Helvins Experience as a pagan with a post Christian Russian heritage. Everything is still very Christian. Which isn’t bad and not wrong, most folk magics we see today come from a Christian background because that is the most common religion of all our ancestors. This book isn’t a reconstruction of Slavic paganism, or Slavic pagan as a broad term regardless. It’s Natasha’s paganism.

The rest of the book focuses on Spells, which are for the most part fine.

I have personal issues with her opening comments on All people were made by god as man and woman and our true desires are to find our other halves. Okay, no.

I have issues with the amount of times she references everything and everyone around us as “manipulatable” that all things fall under our whims. Which is morally uncomfortable. I don’t think our ancestors who worked alongside animals and plants always saw them as lower, as seen in, still Alive and well, Indigenous American beliefs.

In the end, this book isn’t for beginners, it’s not for Slavic pagans, it’s for Natasha. And that’s fine.

[expulence]

Your fear of looking stupid is holding you back💔

... well, at least among other fears of course. However, the point is that a lot of what is holding you back from achieving that which you most deeply yearn for is in your mind.

We are products of our environments and as such, are  (more often than not) walking embodiments of the our circumstances. How we perceive ourselves is greatly influenced by how the world around us perceives us, and depending on how positively or negatively we are perceived is how positively or negatively we perceive ourselves.

Enter Imposter Syndrome, Self-doubt and Self-consciousness with the sole purpose of keeping us small and stagnant if not regressed all together.💔

The constant second-guessing and low self-esteem has done a number on your belief in yourself and continues to lead to immense self-sabotage. So, here are some simple ways to overcome that.

Change your environment

Practice self-awareness

Be defiant

Reduce your expectations

ASK FOR HELP!!

1. Change your environment 💎

As we've established before, we are products of our environment, which makes it extremely difficult to become anything contrary to it. Ideally, the best way to change you environment is to relocate to an environment where the lifestyle you wish to emulate is the norm. However, that is not always possible for a number of reasons, so these strategies should keep you going until you can afford to take the plunge.

Listen ONLY to music that serves you and your aspirations (i.e. motivational, goal-oriented, peace music)

Engage with content that edifies, reassures and motivates you (i.e. podcasts, YouTube videos, blogs etc)

Adorn your environment with inspirational and aspirational images (i.e. a vision board)

Connect with people with shared goals via in-person interactions and/or online communities

2. Practice self-awareness 💎

Strong negative feelings such as fear and shame can severely distort our perception of ourselves & the world, our relationship with our memories and impact how we make decisions. This is why the importance of self-awareness cannot be overstated. Have a comprehensive understanding of who you are can provide you with a greater deal of perspective. This is how you can practice self-awareness.

Write and routinely review a list of BOTH your strengths and weaknesses. Seek help for the weaknesses and celebrate the strengths.

Embrace and trust you intuition so that you can build self-trust

Acknowledge your emotional triggers and investigate their origins.

Ask for feedback from your trusted and supportive circle of influence.

3. Be Defiant 💎

The insidious thing about being the product of an unsavoury environment is that at some point after continuous exposure, your mind does the discouragement itself. This means that it's tough to shake the culture, mindset and self-worth (or lack there of) that the environment has instilled within you even once you've removed yourself from said environment. This often pervades your thoughts in the form of negative self-talk, and you can obfuscate all of this negativity with a little bit of defiance in the form of positive self-talk.

Work with a professional who can present a level-headed perspective on your negative self-talk.

Do daily positive affirmations in order to regularly challange and silence the negative thoughts.

Engage with media the encourages positive thinking such as music, literature and social media content.

Surround yourself with people who make you feel good so that they can be the voice of reason when the negative self-talk creeps back.

Make your favourite interest a hobby to give you a sense of excitement and purpose, which may make you feel worthy.

4. Reduce your expectations 💎

Jumping the gun as far as our expectations are concerned is one of the things that can exacerbate our fear of success (and similarly, failure). We often imagine ourselves achieving the most magnificent versions of what our imaginations conjure up and as much as that can be inspirational and motivational, it can just as easily be overwhelming if you already think poorly of your capabilities. The anxiety that working to achieve the life you desire as well as the fear of not being able to handle success when it comes can lead to crippling depression and feelings of inadequacy. This can be combated by reducing your expectations for what you can achieve within a certain period of time. Here's how.

Be clear about what you wish to achieve and work backwards to figure out what steps you have to take.

Adopt the Japanese philosophy of Kaizen - the adoption of micro-habits in order to have continuous improvements in a way that is non-threatening to your nervous system and is thus sustainable.

Review your aspirations and evaluate how much of them are actually yours. Doing this will help you silence the noise and remove the weight of other people's projections.

5. Ask For Help!! 💎

"Humans are social creatures" is a phrase that is thrown around frequently, but most do not understand what it means beyond the surface level. A lack of human connection and social interaction can have dire long-lasting ramifications on your health. Such ramifications may include depression, poor sleep quality, impaired executive function, accelerated cognitive decline, poor heart function as well as compromised immunity. This goes to show how incredibly vital having a steady and supportive social structure is for human survival let alone improving one's health. Thus it pivotal to seek help with your fears and anxiety about failure and success. This helping hand could be a professional, a mentor, friends, close family or an ambitious online community.

You owe it to yourself to overcome the fears you have. The highest version of yourself is counting on you. 💫

[quasi-normalcy]

Love it or hate it (and I guarantee you that my opinions are more positive than the average fan), you must admit that the "Picard" series has been an odd duck so far.

Like they announced in 2018 that Patrick Stewart was coming back to Star Trek, and naturally this conjured up a particular sort of story in the imagination--a sort of "last roundup" of the TNG crew, getting the band back together sort of thing. But they were very quick to say, "No, it's not that, it's a character study." And that, too, conjures up a particular sort of story: intimate stakes, maybe reconnecting with some of the people who have been most important to him (Beverley, Guinan, Q...), giving some closure to some open-ended character arcs from TNG, probably dying at the end. OK. "Logan" in space.

And then the first season comes out, and none of the characters who were closest to Picard are present. More than that, the plot centres around Picard atoning for a mistake he made *offscreen* in the decades after his last appearance, and one that the season maybe doesn't do enough work to show is in character for him. The stakes *start* intimate, but the plot is Hijacked by Cthulhu eight episodes in and the whole thing ends with an action climax with the FATE OF THE GALAXY ITSELF hanging in the balance. Picard dies but then gets better. It's secretly brilliant, but no one believes me.

What follows after that is one of the *weirdest* seasons of television that I've ever seen. Parts of it are brilliant (Q giving a last gift to Picard; Jurati becoming the Borg Queen; Seven learning self-acceptance); parts of are absolutely bone-dead stupid (Picard's "Jane Eyre" childhood; Rios staying in the past); but most of it is just plain *weird*. The whole thing is set back in time; plot points are prominently introduced and then completely ignored; Q is dying, but the show has no interest in telling us of what; Rios spends 3 episodes in ICE custody, then it's never mentioned again; Picard and Guinan spend a whole episode with an Agent Mulder expy who's never relevant to the plot; a bunch of characters in the past randomly look identical to characters in the present; the Borg are trying to save the galaxy from a vague new threat, but it feels like an afterthought. And I assume that some combination of churn in the writers' room, budgetary constraints, and pandemic-related disruptions are responsible, but as it is, it's just...bizarre.

And now the third season is coming out, to surprisingly good reviews from unlikely quarters. And it's a last roundup of the TNG crew.

[reyboris]

RISIGN SIGNS part 1 (REVIEW FROM E. CARUTTI)

HI everybody!!!! HERE, a little review about risign signs by the book “ASCENDENTES EN ASTROLOGÍA” by the great astrologer Eugenio Carutti (ARGENTINA):

1. ARIES RISIGN: In general, the Ascendants in Aries, Leo and Capricorn have destiny with the father and authority, although in different ways. In the case of the Ascendant in Aries, the need to discover his own desire will force him to face those figures that capture him through his authority. The difficulty is that these people, in turn, give a lot of security and conjure up the fear of letting themselves be carried away by the unknown Aries energy. Sooner or later, they will realize that these people do not really understand it and a crisis of independence will take place in which they will risk their independence. security. As we will see in the matrix of the Ascendant in Aries, going in circles in the tension "security-belonging-authority" versus "independence and desire. A Capricorn Ascendant will have to hold on and sustain; the Ascendant in Aries, on the other hand, will have to resolve on their own, quickly, without time and without support from anyone. With Aries it is not about loneliness but autonomy, it is about getting out of security.

2. TAURUS RISIGN: in Taurus, it is discovered that the body is not something separate from the mind. Everything is body. So whatever I incorporate is vital. If I have the fantasy that the mind does not suffer the consequences of what I incorporate through the body, this is paid hard with a Taurus Ascendant. Taurus is not moved by impulses, reactions, cravings or occurrences. There it would divide and lose the forcefulness of its mass. As we said at the beginning, Taurus moves from necessity and that is what makes it inexorable. Disregarding any action that is not essential is the (key to its power)

3. GEMINI RISIGN: This Ascendant means going deep into the links, in order to realize the importance they have and to be able to experience the energy in circulation. For this reason, leaving ties with siblings unresolved is something that greatly hinders the movement of the Gemini Ascendant in the future, since thus, a pattern that excludes relationships has already been entered. And if I exclude relationships, I will never identify with Gemini; Only Gemini will happen to me. For example: I can have this Ascendant and also have a very strong Venus, but my brother is an artist and I am an intellectual. Or my brother is someone unbearable, jealous, possessive, but the one who has a strong Pluto is me. That is to say, this fragmentation of one's own energy, projecting it onto one of the brothers, is something very typical of the Ascendant in Gemini.

4. CANCER RISIGN: It is common, in cancer destinations, that a very strong option is presented in favor of protecting, caring for children. Destinations in which there have been decisive choices —whether because another person appears in the emotional field, or because it was necessary to leave the country, or because of opportunities for their career and creativity— as a result of which these people are very stressed. The visible trend in this ascendant is to always decide in favor of the children. An illustrative example of these cases of fathers with the fate of mothers was offered some time ago by the film "Kramer vs. Kramer. EVEN Einstein, who had a Cancer ascendant, was enormously sensitive to the shape of the universe we inhabit, trying to define it as the curvature of space. The intuition of space as curved is obviously not immediate for everyone and also reflects a Cancerian pattern in this case.

5. LEO RISIGN: His story is then that of "having to leave home", abandoning the different areas in which, throughout his life, he took refuge in belonging —and which, in fact, limited his creativity— to learn to find his own place. Those siblings who take up all the space, or the ever-showing schoolmates who are spontaneous leaders, will inevitably be in front, so even though the Leo Ascendant guy has his own yearning to show off—and even opportunities to do so—he feel affected by those others. And it is even likely that he feels left out even shining, so he will inhibit himself or overreact. The magnitude of what it means to show oneself and expose oneself, in one way or another will become excessive and criticism, shame, the insecurity of being able to sustain oneself in that place will be inevitably experienced.

6. VIRGO RISIGN: With this Ascendant, it is a matter of reaching "the minutiae of detail", up to the culmination. Capture the importance of "everything being in its place" in all aspects of life and nothing getting out of proportion or scale. Psychologically, it is common to see these people wanting to make quick processes, but from the point of view of destiny this is dangerous, because it usually anticipates brakes, especially from the point of view of health, as we already said. With the Ascendant In Virgo, bad administration is very expensive. On the Ascendant in Taurus, slowness is experienced as an impediment; in Virgo, like postponement, because I must learn to go step by step, to turn and turn again, and turn again... It is not possible to make big jumps, omitting stages, but to go progressively, in detail, moving forward and backward, metabolizing. There are no straight lines in Virgo. But essentially, in Virgo the delay is the result of the unfolding, by parts, of the totality before the conscience, because the context is complex. Virgo does not see, like Aries, "at once". They sense that there is an order that is not immediately noticeable and they must wait for it to unfold. For this reason, it is necessary to inhibit decisions that would be incorrect because they have been hasty, because they have not taken into account the totality of factors

[ominist]

BITTER REWARD

--- Part 2: Reaping ✧

Pairings- Dark!Sebastian Sallow x F!Auror!Reader x Auror!Ominis Gaunt Summary- Sebastian escapes from Azkaban after 8 years. The Ministry were on high alert and searching for the escaped fugitive. Newspapers and flyers spread with the danger that could come within encounter. Sebastian Sallow’s face was plastered all over public and communal areas of the Ministry. After working for the Ministry for years, MC and Ominis Gaunt were cut off from the search. The Ministry’s numbers as of late were short due to ongoing violent events and kidnappings. Both aurors were denied any involvement due to conflict of interest. They were secretly put under a watchful eye in case the fugitive decided to reach out to one of his old friends. After 2 weeks, the search proved fruitless. It was almost as if the man had disappeared into thin air. Due to lack of resources, the search and security lessened when it came to Sallow. This was, quote, only a temporary decision until something new came up.This was exactly what Sebastian Sallow was hoping for. After a watchful eye and a calculated risk, he bids his time before cornering you. As painful as it was, waiting a little longer would prove to be rewarding. Warnings- 18+, language, trauma, depression, angst, aged up characters, explicit content later on. Word Count- 7,695 Words Author’s Notes- Warnings, finally some Seb, a lot of angst, and a cliff hanger. Also, thank you for reading my work! ❤

Writing Masterlist -- Part 1: Sowing -- Part 3: Mourning

With Sebastian’s disappearance, temporary demotion, and the emotional chaos from her social life.. 

MC’s ongoing frustrations and stress started to leak into her daily life. Exploding in the smallest and most obvious ways. It started with ripping the assignments waiting on her desk, slamming boxes of pending paperwork, spilling ink all over the floor.. 

But of course, these outbursts would not last long. Almost immediately, she would stop and feel embarrassed by the petty display of lack of control. She repaired and cleaned everything until it was back to its previous state. 

The reality was this. It was either running rampant with her magic (which threatened to spill over) or these minor micro-aggressions in her lonely office. It was taking too much energy to keep her ancient magic under control.  It only got more chaotic and spontaneous whenever she was in distress.

In addition, every other Auror in the department decided to leave her to her own devices. Correction, they decided to avoid her all together. Whenever she emerged from her office everyone either gave her a pitiful smile or turned their eyes away from her. She was deeply bothered by the change in the atmosphere. And irked by the revelation that the current situation provided. This was only a job. The what you-once-thought-were-close-colleagues stemmed from self-interest and forced respect. Your presence was replaceable. And it was very apparent at the present.

The new found solitude gave her the chance to do something she had been keeping in the back of her mind. No one seemed to pay attention as she emerged from the Archive part of the building holding a stack of folders. 

Within a few hours, she had exhausted the amount of times she re-read Sebastian’s case in her office. She went over Sebastian’s old records as they rested on her lap. Confident that she would be left alone, her boots were kicked up on the desk as she lounged in her chair. If no one paid her attention while she sorted through these embarrassing tasks, no one would become alerted by an unauthorized review. MC was technically still an Auror. Besides, the current groups of officers searching for Sebastian already had copies of the old records and were too busy creating new records from their investigations. Her eyes moved over the contents repeatedly for hours, almost wanting to conjure the hidden truth and details not recorded.

After 3 days of picking up entry level work provided by different departments, MC reluctantly accepted the current state of things and decided to take a break. She had been acting stubborn at first. She hoped that they would see her determination and eventually let her return to her position. But after engaging in such dull and motivation killing work, she could not continue for the rest of the week. MC dropped off the last of the completed assignments and returned Sebastian’s records to their proper place without raising anyone’s attention. 

Then she found herself at home, unable to finds ways to occupy her time productively. Time away from the Ministry only made her chaotic emotions worse. MC started to realize how much she depended on her hefty investigations and feeling overworked. She needed the fast and critical pace that came with being an Auror. It stopped her from overthinking, and most importantly it stopped her from being alone with herself. 

Since she had started to work, she had not raided poacher camps or pursued dark wizards in the hamlets near Hogwarts. In a way, being an Auror provided a little bit of everything she used to cope in the past. 

Now being in her apartment, she started to experience her first signs of paranoia. When she stepped out of her apartment, she swore she was being followed. It did not take her long to notice this. She had initially made it part of her routine to take a walk in the mornings. Whenever the rain paused and the heavy fog appeared, she found herself stopping by the local shops for groceries, picking up fresh flowers, or walking through the more populated areas of the city. The cold air and noisy streets had given her the distraction she desperately needed. 

The first time she caught sight of a shadow passing behind her, it had heightened her instincts. MC had been walking by some store windows, passing some glass lamps. A dark silhouette passed closely behind her as she leaned towards the window. Almost immediately, her posture tensed and straightened. Her eyes roamed over the reflection on the window with her hand ready in her pocket. But the figure disappeared around the corner without being seen. This happened again the next day, but this time she caught sight of someone wearing a bowl hat peaking around the corner of the street.

After those 2 encounters, she returned to closing herself in her apartment. She realized that she had somehow obtained an easy pattern to track in the mornings. She removed these morning walks from her new schedule.

Being enclosed in her apartment made he wish for a change around her. After a couple of hours of deep cleaning, organizing, and sorting through rubbish- she almost did not recognize her home. With her new found time, she even found herself sitting by the window and catching up with the letters on her desk. She spent many afternoons reading one of the many books from her collection. Majority of the books had been recommended by Anne at some point. She could not remember the last time she sat down and had time to read something of choice. Every now and then she would peer through the  window after feeling that creeping sensation on her skin. She was more than convinced that she was being watched. Whenever she felt exposed, she would draw the curtains and close her windows. 

Even if it had only been a couple of days, she felt the most alone she ever felt. She had not gotten a moment of relief. And to add to the ongoing theatrics, she could not stop thinking about Sebastian and his whereabouts. 

Sebastian’s news had put a stop to her ongoing progress with finding Anne’s cure. Now that she was more than convinced that she was being followed, she could not risk being caught in the middle of something suspicious. She was thankful that she had been smart enough not to keep her research and illegal books in her apartment in case her home was searched. She was also having a hard time focusing on one task for too long. MC had all the time of the world now with her inconsistent work. She tried to find ways to occupy herself productively.

She could not bring herself to get rid of the shadow that appeared the morning she received the news. MC had grown more tense, easily upset, and on edge. It was easy to admit that she never really let got of the guilt from being an accomplice during Sebastian’s imprisonment. And she believed it would never happen, especially now. 

Sebastian had escaped early on a Sunday morning and it was now Friday. Almost a whole week had passed. Ominis continued to check in with MC, even if it was briefly. Even with his full work schedule, he persisted stopping by to check on MC even when it was after hours. If he noticed her growing restlessness, he did not mention it. 

She knew his continuous visits were his way of showing that he still cared about her. But she could never be truly honest about her current turmoil. She was more than aware that Ominis was also going through his own troubling thoughts. The circles under his eyes had grown darker, and his skin started to look paler than usual. He was sleep deprived, exhausted, and even malnourished. But Ominis still watched out for her even when they had grown apart and detached in the recent months. He still checked on her every day, regardless of how platonic their friendship had become once again.

By Monday, she received a promising letter from both Natsai Onai and Poppy Sweeting. Poppy was always traveling and never stayed in one place for too long. She was engaged to their former classmate Garreth Weasley. Natty had moved and was now a professor at Uagadou. Between the two, Natty stopped by London more often to see MC. The former Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were so busy as it was, but she appreciated their concern and support shown in their letters. They had both agreed to come visit London the upcoming weekend to her relief. MC could finally take a break from feeling like a caged animal. 

During one of Ominis’ visits, he revealed something important for the MC. It was a little bit after 6pm on Wednesday. Ominis sat in the usual chair with the usual cup of tea between his fingers. He stopped by her home for a bit, already having plans for the rest of the night he had told her. 

“I have something to share with you. But before I tell you, you need to promise me that you will not be alarmed,” Ominis told her. The  he quickly added,“And that you will not do something to get yourself in trouble.”  

The way he added the last part made her smile in his direction. He was always so cautious when he knew something would upset her. 

“You know, I appreciate you trying. But you and I know better,” MC told him honestly. 

Ominis brushed his hand through his hair and nodded once. With his hands crossed over the other, he appeared apprehensive. He exhaled before continuing. 

“The department had appointed some officers to watch us,” he stated, sounding frustrated. Then he added in slow syllables, “Without our knowledge or consent, for the matter.” 

She breathed a loud sigh of relief at his words. And there it was, she could finally put her doubts about her own sanity to rest. If she was right, this explained the uneasy and cautious expressions that many of her peers wore last week. MC let out a small laugh and shook her head in disbelief. 

“The Ministry never fails to amaze me with their strategic methods. Let alone, their denial about the current number of able bodied officers.” 

Ominis gave her a small smile, agreeing with her words. “That was my initial response. But if they are watching us.. That could only mean that they truly believe that our old friend will be making an appearance.”

MC’s smile faded and she turned to look out the window. Ominis had chosen not to mention his name. And it further proved that he was still being careful. He was trying to cause the least amount of pain as possible. She was unsure if it was intended for her benefit or for his own. 

His name is Sebastian.

Her eyes looked into the dark street. The lamplight flickered twice and a stray cat crossed the street. The longer she looked out the street, the more noticeable the feeling became. She got up from her seat and approached her window. She drew the curtains in the hopes of removing the feeling of exposure. 

Her hands held the curtain for a moment longer than needed. Her eyes focused on the pattern between her fingers. The room became quiet.  

“Do you..” MC said quietly, without turning to face Ominis. “Do you think he has gone away to start a new life?” 

Ominis was unable to answer. He should have expected this topic to be brought up eventually. In reality, he dreaded talking about it with MC. The bitter feeling of the past was something he wished to get over as the years passed. He was not sure what Sebastian Sallow would be doing with his new found freedom. And as of the present, the Ministry didn’t either. Ominis preferred it this way. As long as Sebastian was not found, he could rest easy. 

It had come to his surprise that Sebastian had not reached out to any of his close friends in the first week of his escape. Not even Anne. 

But the again, Sebastian was smart. If he intended to survive, he could not give in to his reckless nature. 

Ominis had somehow convinced himself that he no longer knew Sebastian.

He believed he was the only one to wear the guilt on his shoulders for what he had done. He deserved to lose sleep, his appetite, his sense of character, and peace. 

And the most important of all.. He did not deserve to have MC. 

Ominis knew that MC and Sebastian had been close during their 5th year. He often times believed that he and MC would never be as close as Sebastian she she were back then. 

Ominis had almost proposed to move in with MC for the time being until things were safer. He hated to leave her during such dire times.

But he had not. 

Ominis shifted in his seat, unable to give her an answer that reflected the truth about his feelings. 

“I.. I do not know,” he confessed to her. His voice was suddenly fatigued. “I would like to believe that he somehow managed to escape the border and settled somewhere remotely liberating.” 

MC stepped away from the window, her expression unreadable. She did not return to her seat across from Ominis. She continued to stand idly near the wall. Her hands were hidden in her cardigan. 

Ominis turned his head towards MC’s direction before continuing. “MC believe me when I say, if Sebastian does not want to be caught, then he will not be.” 

MC shifted in place, her thoughts pouring over her like a rapid current. It was hard to believe that Sebastian would just escape the country and find a lovely home of some sort by the ocean somewhere in the world. She could not image him willing to settle down and find peace. 

He would not be able to do that as long as he sought closure. He would make his most important mission to find answers. 

She did not understand why Ominis was so set on lying and giving such empty answers. He could not possibly believe what he was telling her. She was starting to feel impatient with him. 

“Is someone possibly helping him hide?” MC asked out loud, somewhat ignoring Ominis’ previous response. She walked into the kitchen, her eyes settling on the dish rack as she thought hard.  

“I do not think it matters. It isn’t either of us, so I doubt it.” 

MC was now set on putting away the dishes. With her back turned, she occupied her hands with pushing the plates into the cupboards. The dishes were put away harshly, the sound of the dishes being pushed on top of each other echoed through the apartment. 

“I hope his whereabouts are not keeping you from your sleep, MC-”

MC finally turned towards Ominis, unable to stop her irritation from raining down on him. With a glass in her hand, she let her bottled discontentment interrupt him. 

“He has not forgiven us , Ominis,” her words were sharp. She inhaled and continued without sparing another moment of caution. “If you truly believe he ran off into the sunset with his new found freedom, then you are being delusional.”

She had almost broken the glass in her hand. She winced at the sound of her words as soon as she had said them. At that moment, she was unable to hide the pain and desolation she had felt for the past 8 years. MC watched Ominis with her unsettling gaze. Her jaw was tight and she felt as if she would cry out of frustration.

The air became unbreathable from the pressure in the room. The silence between them was daunting. Ominis’ expression finally broke from his shallow facade. His eyes stung from the truth in her words. Her tone dripped with culpability. 

His only response was getting up from his chair, letting is scrape against the wooden floor. His expression resembled a drowned man. His lips moved, and to MC’s dismay he did not give her the answer she deserved.

“I should go check on Anne.” 

Her eyes only followed Ominis as he stepped out of her apartment without another word. 

… *… * …

It was getting closer to the 2 week mark since Sebastian’s escape. And instead of feeling more at ease that there was no news about his whereabouts, she felt more restless. Her nightmares had started to take her sleep again. After the last meeting she had with Ominis, she could not bear any more wasted nights. She started to take sips of sleeping draught before bed.

On the following Saturday morning, MC received an email correspondence from the head of the Auror Department. To her surprise, the letter contained a series of updates.

Sebastian’s man hunt had been put to a stop until further notice. The Department was facing a a shortage of numbers, leading to a strain in their security and resources for higher priority cases. This is a temporary decision until further reconsideration. 

MC was scheduled to return to her previous position on Monday morning.  

MC held the letter in her hands under the sunlight of her window, the tension in her shoulders lessening as the minutes passed. She re-read the letter until she was able to process the contents. 

MC was beyond relieved to finally have her job back. She still was not used to being home so much. The letter did not mention whether she would continue to be observed and followed. But then again, she was not supposed to be aware in the first place.

With the hopes of celebrating her return, she was preparing to meet with her friends later on that evening. Natty and Poppy agreed to meet at one the pubs closer to the water’s edge. It was only a couple of minutes away from her home. She knew that Natty enjoyed the black friar bridge view. That was mainly the reason why this pub was one of her favorites.

With a couple of minutes to spare before she headed out, MC sat down to read through some of the letters waiting on her desk. The letters seemed to have increased now that she had time to respond.

She received a letter from her mother with news of her trip. Her parents were visiting America for a couple of weeks. Her father had decided to visit Boston in the hopes of reconciling with his mother. Her father had been raised in an orphanage before attending Hogwarts. At the age of 41, he recently found more information about his biological parents. It was a whole ordeal alone, one that she was sadly being updated from the sidelines. Her once extremely demanding position as an Auror had been the reason she denied the invitation to join them. She was aware of how important this visit was for her father. But she had no choice at the time the trip was planned. But now? She wished she had taken the opportunity to join them. 

MC wrote a whole hearted response to her mother’s letter and pulled Anne’s letter from the small pile. She moved the candle light closer to the page to read Anne’s small script. 

My dearest MC,

Thank you for that new cushion set! It made my new home feel more homely. I am adjusting to my home much better as of late. It is much better than the room I was staying in previously. The loneliness was hard to adjust to at first, but now I am able to look forward to every day.

I absolutely love working for Madam Ryder’s shop. I wish you could see how friendly and welcoming the people are here. It reminds me a little of Feldcroft. You need to come visit me soon. 

I was asked to go fetch potion ingredients by the shore this week. I found it to be a dream. It reminded me a little of your outdoor excursions and adventures. I can see why you enjoyed them so much when you were younger. 

Working at the shop part time is enough at the moment. The hours are quite flexible and I am able to fit in time for my studies. I am beyond grateful for Professor Sharp’s patience and willingness to continue to tutor me. I have you to thank for that.

Between working and focusing on my studies, I think that I want a change of pace. 

Living in this small town by the ocean the past couple of years has me feeling like a senior. Think about it, I live in a small house by the ocean. I wake every morning to tea and books. I water my new found garden and feed my cats before heading out every morning. Maybe this life was more fitting for the person I was before.

I visited Solomon’s house yesterday. I think I am feeling a little nostalgic. When I stopped by, I made it my mission to fix and replace the dead plants in the garden. It made me sad to see how vacant and unattended the home was.

Staying in the house let me reflect on what I want out of life. 

I want to open my own store in town. But I also find myself wanting to move to London. I miss you and Ominis so much, I want to spend more time with the both of you. I think it would give me the clarity I need.

Wishing you well and love always,

Anne S. 

She finished reading Anne’s letter with a sense of emptiness. She missed Anne terribly. 

But she could not overlook the implications that came with becoming close once more.

Could she put aside her conflicting emotions and invite Anne to stay with her for a while? She had done the same with Ominis last year, so what is stopping her from offering her the same? Would having her around more cause more tension or diffuse it? Would having her around cause a bigger rift between them? 

MC left Anne’s letter open on her desk. She was unable to finish her response. She had only gotten to the formalities. Anne’s letter was left unfolded and on top of the other letters on her desk.She got up from her seat and grabbed her coat on her way to the door. 

For the first time in the past 2 weeks, she felt a sense of reprieve. She was leaving her apartment for the first time in a while. She was on her way to meet with her two friends for some drinks. She was no longer demoted from her hard earned Ministry position. Her life was slowly returning back to normal.

MC walked into the gloomy street and hugged her coat tighter. She could not pass the opportunity to smell the crisp and smokey air once more. She walked for the first time without feeling paranoid. Her boots walked over the cobblestone, sometimes echoing louder in certain streets. She passed the familiar shops as they prepared to close early. 

When she finally reached the planned destination, MC paused by the door and inhaled before entering. She walked into the pub, staying close to the wall and away from the crowd. 

She made her way to her friends and was instantly embraced by two pair of arms. 

Poppy shared about her ongoing wedding planning and constant traveling. She was the happiest she ever felt. Poppy had Natsai and MC promise to be her bridesmaids and that she would not accept any excuses. Natty admitted that she had a new love interest. She explained how she had gone on a couple of dates and how it felt promising so far. She did not share the individual’s name or too many details. She rather not share too much in case it ended up not working out. Which, this had happened before. MC had witnessed her friend’s repeated rise and fall out of love in the recent years. The two witches respected Natty’s decision to save her from the possible pain once more. 

Poppy turned to MC, her eyes soft as she asked, “What about you, Y/N? Do you have any pending admirers you’re wanting to tell us about?” 

MC gave her a small smile, but it did not quite reach her eyes. Her attention turned to the drink between her fingers as she shook her head in denial. She could see Natty’s expression from the side of her vision. Natty was one of the few people she had shared about her temporary relationship with Ominis. 

“I wish I could go on about a new love interest,” MC finally told Poppy. She sounded a little regretful. 

“That is okay, do not worry about that. If you ever find yourself interested in meeting new people, just let me know,” Poppy told her with a genuine smile. “Garreth has so many family members and friends. I could have you meet them sometime if you like.” 

MC felt touched by Poppy’s thoughtfulness. The fact that Poppy thought she was agreeable enough to introduce her to new friends and her family to be, made her heart hurt. She thanked Poppy and took a long sip from her drink. She could taste the ice melting, dulling the affect. She looked down the counter and waved the bartended down for another drink.

Their conversation went on for the longest with no breaks or awkward silences. Poppy seemed to have kept in touch with a lot of their past classmates. With Garreth’s influence, she had a pretty good recount for almost every single Hogwarts alumni. The occupations she mentioned ranged from curse breakers, quidditch players, portraitists, apparition examiners, and astronomers. MC listened attentively and realized that many ended up working for the Ministry. 

Poppy had gone on for so long without stopping that she had to take a breather. She lifted her drink to her lips right before excusing herself to the lavatory. MC grinned as she watched Poppy walk off with a tipsy edge to her step. 

"She is still a lightweight,” she stated as she turned to look at Natty.

Her friend nodded in response with a blush on her cheeks. “You know Poppy. Some things just never change. I see that you’re a little giddy as well Y/N.” 

MC raised her glass towards Natty as she grinned widely. She did not deny her friend’s statement. Natty raised her own glass and muttered cheers.

“How are you holding up?” Natty asked quietly. MC had been expecting her friend to finally ask her more about the current events now that they were both alone. Before answering, she finished the rest of her drink. The bartender spared her a glance and started to make another drink without being asked. 

“I actually got my job back. I got a letter this morning,” she told her, trying to move the subject away from Sebastian all together. 

“What a relief! Tell me they apologized as well,” Natty responded, her hand came to rest under her chin as she leaned against the counter. Natty had been kept in the loop with the recent turn of events as MC wallowed in her apartment. 

MC shook her head once with a smile playing on her lips. Natty groaned and shook her head with annoyance. She continued to gaze at MC and finally moved on to what she originally intended to ask her.

“What about.. Sebastian?” Natty asked, she was not going to let MC change the subject. 

MC sighed in defeat and turned to face the friend next to her. She licked her lips and reached for the drink that came floating her way. She brought the drink to her lips as she contemplated. Under the influence of alcohol, she felt more willing to open up to her best friend. 

“I have no clue what is going on. All I know is that the Ministry have stopped searching for him. The letter gave little details about the progress.” 

“He hasn’t tried to contact you, has he?” Natty’s voice dropped to whisper. She was watching MC’s expressions, ready to catch her if she lied. 

MC shook her head in no. She felt her throat tighten, she did look forward to talking about him in the current state she was in. “I doubt he would. Why would he? I am the bloody reason why his life was ruined.” 

Natty said MC’s name and stopped her from continuing. Her eyes were serious. 

“You cannot possibly believe you are at fault Y/N. Are you forgetting that the decision was not yours to make? You were not alone during all of that. And I am sure Ominis would not agree with you.” 

MC shook her head again at Natty’s response. Her grip on the glass tightened as she started to feel the shadow fall over her once more. The shadow was peeking its ugly head as she felt the remorse and guilt build up inside of her. 

“It’s not that easy Natty..” She responded slowly. “I wish I could just turn it off. But I just..” 

MC tapped her temple with her index finger in frustration. “I think I am just delirious. My mental state has not been the best lately.” 

“Tell me what is not easy, please.” 

“I am having a hard time sleeping. It usually wouldn’t be such a bad thing, but..” MC paused before continuing. She could see Natty’s unwavering care and loyalty. MC breathed out before admitting something she had not told anyone.

“I still see Professor Fig,” MC confessed to her friend. “I see him in my sleep. I wonder what he would tell me now with all of this going on.” A bitter laugh left her lips. 

Everything seemed to be pouring out of her as she watched Natty’s expression. She swallowed hard and felt tears forming in her eyes. Natty was concerned now. 

“You told me your nightmares had stopped MC.” 

“I- I do not know how to undo my wrong doings Natty. I cannot move on,” she breathed. 

Natty’s hand reached out and took MC’s drink from her. She stopped her friend from drinking any further. Her expression was full of understanding and concern. Natty moved the glass far from reach and brought her hand to touch her friend’s.

“I don’t want you burdening yourself with unnecessary guilt. Professor Fig was not your fault. And what happened with Sebastian, that is not your fault to take either Y/N. He faced the consequences to his actions. Believe me, my friend. You deserve to live your life without these burdens and learn to forgive yourself.”  

“Forgive myself?” MC repeated in a small voice. She failed to notice the tears were falling down her cheeks. 

Natty tapped her hand against hers in affirmation. Her gaze was intense as she answered. 

“Forgive yourself for not learning how to look after yourself. I know you will learn to let go of these irrational thoughts and stop blaming every single misfortune on yourself. I just hope it is soon.” 

Natty’s hand tightened over MC’s, her gaze not moving away from her. 

“I will be alright Natty,” she told her as she wiped away her cheeks with the back of her hand. Poppy was approaching them once more with a big grin.”I promise.”

Their outing went on for a couple of hours. The mood lightened up as the three talked about other matters that were not trifling to MC’s sanity. MC felt more grateful for her friends as the night went on. Poppy was the closest to being drunk between the 3 of them. She watched as Poppy hugged her sides in laughter as she shook her head at Natty. Natty was smiling and continued to talk for Poopy’s amusement. MC’s smile was unwavering as she looked at her two friends with sad appreciation.

By the time the 3 witches were walking out of the bar, it had gotten late. 

Poppy and Natty insisted on walking MC all the way to her apartment. MC denied their request and told them that her apartment was not far. With bright and loud exclamations, they compromised and walked her down the street. 

With their final goodbyes and loud giggles, MC walked in the direction of her apartment. She passed a couple of bright windows, her mind distracted by the night’s events. She was busy thinking about Poppy was traveling all over the country and saving all kinds of creatures. She did not notice an unknown figure following behind her. 

The person’s face was hidden under a heavy black cloak. The figure followed her at a distance, but he seemed to be closing the distance as MC reached the street she lived in.

MC eventually felt the crawling sensation of being followed. She involuntarily moved her shoulders into a shrug, wanting to brush it off. Was it real? Or was she merely living the side affected of being slightly intoxicated? She did not want to turn around to look out of fear. 

Her throat suddenly felt dry as she saw her apartment building in the distance. There was not a single soul in sight. Most of the windows in her street were dark. She slowed her pace and thought hard on what she should do next. Normally, she would not feel so flustered and hesitant. But she did not have to think long when she purposely stalled in front of a shop. The windows had been recently cleaned and polished. She looked into the glass, waiting for the reflection to catch the light from the lamp post as she walked. 

She caught sight of the figure in the reflection. It was a tall man. She could not make out his build, he had a long cloak and dark boots. She did not manage to stare long enough to gather more details for her advantage. 

That was when she knew she could not go home. Instead, she kept walking down the street. Her shoulders stiffened and her back straightened with a new profound objective. 

She gripped the wand in her pocket and let her features settle in displeasure.

She would make sure that she is no longer followed once and for all. 

… *… * …

Sebastian waited for 2 weeks. The longer he waited, the more it felt like a game.

With the constant use of polyjuice potion, he moved around the city freely. He made it part of his day to disguise himself as a different person. Whether it was a middle aged wizard or a fish selling vendor, he occupied most of his time blending in with the city inhabitants. This was the first time he had visited London. It felt large and advanced compared to his hamlet. 

Sebastian had stopped by Feldcroft the same night he escaped. He did not know what he had expected, but it had left him feeling hollow and empty. It was completely empty and unoccupied. He had found his uncle’s grave, and to his vexation he could not find Anne’s. He walked around the town, noticing how many new homes and shops had been built since he had been away. He had only roamed around the town for less than an hour before he was gone. His visit to Feldcroft had lead him to London immediately. 

He was not aware of how heavily secured the country’s border would be. But by the lack of Aurors roaming around the city looking for him, he felt that he was over estimating the Ministry. 

He was dangerous and armed. He almost felt insulted by the amount of officers making an effort to look for him. There were so many times where he knew he could have been easily caught. But there was yet to be an altercation between himself and the Ministry. 

They could have fooled him by the amount of headlines he made on almost every morning paper since he escaped. 

He was going through the potion supply much faster than he had wanted. But it was crucial to not be caught lacking. He had been more than fortunate to have picked an old potion master’s home to ransack. As much as he wanted to save some of the last phials of the potion, he knew it could not be helped. What other moment would prove more important? Maybe escaping the country all together. 

That was, once he executed his plan.

Now, his eyes were unmoving as he noticed movement pass by the window below him. He was peering over the edge from the opposite building. Sebastian had a knee against the hard tiled roof. The rain stopped minutes ago. His clothes were wet but he did not feel the cold. He did not feel the cold anymore. Nothing could compare the nights that he almost freezed to death. 

Once Sebastian learned that Ominis and MC were Aurors, he had hoped that they would be ones assigned to hunt him down. But to his trepidation, they had been completely removed from the equation. Instead, Sebastian had been the one to hunt them down. 

Ominis never seemed to be anywhere else but at the Ministry. Sebastian somehow always lost sight of his old friend whenever he finished his shift. Ominis would apparate almost immediately, never idling around or letting his guard down. Whenever he caught sight of him to his surprise, he would be leaving MC’s apartment. 

Sebastian had settled with watching MC. She never seemed to be at the Ministry for whatever reason. He observed her for a couple of hours a day until he managed to create a pattern from her routine. With the consistent amount of Aurors following her, it had been difficult to even get close. There was always some hidden officer under the disillusionment charm watching her home or trailing behind her when she left her apartment.

He had enjoyed revealing the officers that followed her through out the day. He had even sent trip jinxes in their direction. But every single time he exposed the Aurors, they merely apparated on the spot. Sebastian knew that MC had caught on. She stopped leaving her apartment all together. 

The fact that they were carefully watching her confused him. The Ministry seemed to have appointed more officers to watch over MC than they have searching for him. The chance of his capture were growing more dim as the days continued to pass. It felt a little too easy.

He was not sure how far off his opportunity was. But he felt it coming closer. 

And surely enough, he finally caught sight of MC leaving her apartment once again. 

Her back was towards him as Sebastian looked over the ledge. She was walking alone with her hands in her pockets. The sun had already set and he tried to register the dark shade of colors she was wearing. She wore a long coat that stopped at her knees. Her heeled boots peaked under her slacks. She was wearing some fitted suit, he assumed. Her hair was out of its usual bun, it fell right below her shoulders. 

She always had long hair during their time at Hogwarts. He remembered how she loved to wear hand knitted scarves during the colder seasons. They were always a new and interesting color. But as he watched her walk further down the street without hurry, he could not see any of the colorful familiarity in her apparel. 

He had to tell himself once more. She is a complete stranger. 

She was not the person you once remembered. The MC he knew from Hogwarts would never turn him to the Authorities. 

Sebastian gripped the wand between his fingers tightly as he walked. The tiles were soundless under his shoes. He followed her at a distance, waiting for the signs of an officer to appear behind her. 

MC walked for almost 20 minutes before reaching her destination. She stopped by a crowded pub near a bridge. The windows were uniquely arched and colorful. It was difficult to even catch a glimpse through the thickly mosaic material. She disappeared into the noisy building without looking over her shoulder. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, she was not followed. 

With the new found revelation, Sebastian stepped down on to the street. He waited in the shadows, noticing the potion’s affects wearing off. 

Sebastian’s eyes looked over the leaving patrons of the pub. The more people left the bar, the more confirmation he received that the building only had one exit. He watched every single individual until they were out of sight. There were no familiar faces to anchor his growing delirium. He was growing more and more agitated as the hours passed. 

Then at last, MC was leaving the pub. He could see two others walk out with her. Their voices made his insides tense. He recognized the other 2 witches from school immediately as they insisted on walking her home. But they only walked her to the end of the street before leaving her on her own.

He could not afford to feel an ounce of nervousness or hesitation. He was shaking from the anticipation, his moment has finally come. Sebastian knew better than to believe this would be made easy for him. 

When MC finally caught on that she was being followed, she had been walking towards the light of a closing store in the distance. Her body was angled towards that direction, her head unmoving from that direction. She passed her apartment’s door all together. With one abrupt step into the left alley between the apartments, she was fleeing. 

With sharp turns and uneven footing, his ears focused on her movement as he kept up. 

He moved after her, just barely enough to not to lose sight of her. He heard his own breathing growing louder as he chased after her. 

He turned into an isolated alley, no it was still a street. There were countless barrels and boxes that smelled of fish. The buildings to the left stopped where the river started, leaving no outlet. The lamplights closer to the water flickered. When his eyes landed on the empty factory building down on the right, his focus was interrupted by a string of red lights. 

MC was huddled behind the barrels and shot curses in his direction. Sebastian deflected every single one and shot his own curses back. His spells hit the wooden obstacles and the sound of wreckage filled the empty alleyway. MC was successful with predicting every single spark and spell headed her way. She never stopped moving, her poise and expertise was apparent in her stance regardless how intoxicated she was.

The spells they shot in each other’s direction never seemed to hit their target. Everything else seemed to catch the force of their anger, leaving chaos everywhere they headed. 

Sebastian restrained himself ftom muttering the words he wanted to use for those long minutes. When finally, he felt an electric sensation course through the ground. He ducked quickly and dodged the boxes thrown in his direction. He felt the wave of ancient magic in the air and the static vibrated through his body. 

He knew it had only been a matter of time before MC started to use her full abilities. He kept running, dodging, deflecting, until it started to feel endless. He was slowly cornering her down the street. He was tiring her out.

By the time he was painting and sweating, he finally steered her into the area he wanted her in. She was close to the water’s edge near the factory. The amount of energy he spent the past couple of minutes finally made his blood seethe. Enough. 

Sebastian then destroyed the few lamp posts, letting the glass fall on to the ground. The only light in the street was reflected in the river. Sebastian removed the ability to see all together and he welcomed the darkness with familiarity. 

He vaulted over the obstacles until he caught sight of her running figure. She hurried behind more boxes. The sound of MC’s boots running over the broken glass heightened Sebastian’s awareness. 

Sebastian shot the disarming spell at her retreating figure. MC’s pace faltered once she realized she had been disarmed. She turned her head to look in his direction. 

By that moment, Sebastian had reached her. She had been milliseconds away from apparating.

Sebastian gripped her wand in his hand and pushed her back with the other. He pressed her against the wall roughly, feeling her body grow panicked and tense under his hold. Her lithe figure struggled under him until she finally met his gaze. She immediately stopped as she looked at him. 

Sebastian was finally able to truly see MC for the first time in the past 2 weeks.

Her eyes looked darker then he ever remembered. There were shadows in her eyes, ones she never had when she was younger. Her brow still had that stern angle whenever she was stressed or tense. Her skin was once flush and soft but now he could see areas where her skin looked sunken and sharp. 

The ghost that hung over her reminded him of something he knew too well. He had caught sight of it the first time when he had looked in a mirror. A haunted and unsettling wraith that refused to leave you alone. It was almost as if she carried some invisible pain that disabled her from looking truly healthy.

Even after all of this time, he felt his insides turn with the familiarity of her presence.

The longer he looked at her, the more he noticed the ache and longing pile on top of the revenge, hatred, pain, betrayal he already felt. 

“Sebastian..”

Her voice was soft and pained. Her eyes did not move away from his and it was getting harder to move.

He rejected the upcoming confusion from muddling his thoughts. His grip on her tightened once more, suddenly growing aware that his hold had loosened.

He once again felt the instinct to hurt her.

✧