#This came to me like a That's so Raven vision while I was working on the Levi art

[insonou]

I'm not sorry

[pickingupmymercedes]

hello! can i request “you told me you’d be careful!” with lewis? it reminded me of the story he told on hot ones about almost drowning when he went surfing once 🫠🫣 but you can make it about anything of course ❤️❤️

Honestly, his adventures are equally as exciting as they're terrifying. But then again, skydiving does sound fun to me, so maybe I'm not the best at judging him

Anyway, hope you like this, I got a bit carried away❤️❤️

"You told me you'd be careful!"

The sun started to dip on the horizon, painting the sky in hues of orange and pink. Y/N stretched languidly on the balcony of the rental house, the crashing of waves a soothing soundtrack.

She'd spent the afternoon catching up on work emails, a necessary evil that had stay back at the house while Lewis and his friends had, yet another, surfing day.

Laughter drifted up from the beach, Lewis's voice in the mix, warm and animated. She couldn't help but smile, even after all this time, laugh was still just as infectious.

A few moments later Lewis came to greet her, his loose hair wild and a grin plastered across his face. He was a vision of sun-kissed skin and tousled hair, the picture of carefree happiness. His movements light and carefree.

"There you are!" he exclaimed, throwing his arms around her in a bear hug. "You missed all the fun!"

Y/N laughed, returning his embrace. "Glad you had fun. You guys must be starving."

He nuzzled his face against her neck, his touch lingering a little too long. "Yeah, absolutely ravenous. But I think we can wait a bit"

Something felt…off. Lewis had always been affectionate, but not the possessive kind, and specially not the kind to cling to her like he was doing.

"Alright, lovebirds," a voice called out from behind them. "Don't monopolize the balcony all night."

Daniel, stood by the door, a mocking grin on his face and Lewis chuckled, finally releasing her.

"Just catching up, mate," he said, slinging an arm around Y/N's shoulders. "Come on, love, let's go grab some dinner."

The rest of the evening was a blur of laughter, good food, and stories under the starlit sky of the restaurant. But even amidst the haze of holidays, Y/N couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong.

Lewis's touch remained unusually persistent, his gaze lingering on her a little too long. Almost…cloying.

The guys that had joined the surfing trip also kept dodging questions on their day, always a nonchalant “it was fun” regardless of who asked.

When they finally retired for the night, the weight of it all was dauting. Lewis, already half-asleep, nuzzled closer to her. He was clinging to her skin at that point.

"Lew" she said softly, her voice laced with concern. "Is everything alright?"

He mumbled a drowsy reply, but Y/N persisted. "No, really. Something feels off."

He blinked, seemingly surprised by her comment. "Off? How so?"

"You're being… clingy," she said gently, trying to unravel the knot of unease twisting in her stomach.

Lewis's playful demeanor evaporated. He stared at her for a long moment, then nuzzled his face against her neck. This wasn't the relationship they had built – they could trust each other to talk about things, problems and their fear, but he seemed set on hiding whatever was going on in his head.

Pushing him away slightly, Y/N held his gaze. "Lewis, seriously, what's going on"

He hesitated for a moment, his eyes flitting away briefly before meeting hers again. "I hm…" he mumbled, but his voice lacked conviction.

"Lewis," she said, her voice firm but laced with concern. "Look at me. Tell me the truth."

He sighed, the goofy smile finally fading. "Alright," he admitted, his voice dropping to a hushed whisper. " I had a bad wipeout … a bigger wave than I anticipated."

Y/N's heart skipped a beat. "Bigger wave? Lewis, you promised you wouldn’t do anything stupid…" she trailed off, unable to voice the terrifying question hanging in the air.

Lewis met her gaze, a flicker of fear still lingering in his eyes. "I got caught in the undertow. Took a mouthful of water… thought…"

He didn't need to finish the sentence. The raw vulnerability in his voice, so uncharacteristic of the usually fearless man she knew, spoke volumes.

"You told me you'd be careful!" she exclaimed; her voice sharp.

He flinched at her outburst, a wave of regret washing over his face. "I know, I know. I messed up. I should have listened to the guys that knew the area. I…"

He trailed off; his words replaced by a heavy silence. Shame hung in the air, thick and suffocating. Y/N knew anger wasn't the answer, not at that point. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to calm down.

"Come here," she said, her voice softer now. She pulled him wrapping her arms around him, his body melting into her embrace.

"I'm just glad you're here." she whispered, her voice trembling slightly.

He held her tighter, burying his face in her shoulder. "Me too, Y/N. More than you know."

Y/N kissed his forehead gently. "Just promise me you'll be honest with me."

He pulled back, gazing into her eyes, his expression a mixture of gratitude and love. "Always," he vowed.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour @vicurious28

@0710khj @thecubanator2 @neilakk @bigratbitchsworld @adriswrld

@fearfam69691 @cmleitora @goldenroutledge @timmychalametsstuff @jpgnsf @priopp123 @jajouska

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[darlingshane]

Salt of the Earth ~ Part 1

Pairing: Michael Berzatto x OFC

Summary: She was Carmy's best friend growing up, and Michael never looked at her as anything other than that until years later when she comes back to Chicago to start over. In the process, she turns his sorry excuse of a life upside down.

Content/Warnings: Friends to lovers, Fluff, Angst, Family Drama, Dysfunctional relationships, Implied/referenced drug addiction, Alcohol mention, Divorce, Pets, Pet names, Dialogue heavy. Undisclosed age gap (in my mind Michael is late 30s and OC is late 20s, but it's really up to your interpretation).

Word Count: 6.8k // 4 chapters // AO3 link.

A/N: This is set in the year of the Fishes episode on season 2. It starts in summer and slowly builds up to that Christmas.

— This was an anon request that I got a few months ago, I hope you're still around. I tried to fit all the ideas you sent as best I could. There's a bit of info dump on the first chapter, but I hope it isn't too off-putting.

Chapter 1: Best thing since sliced bread

Seconds stretch into minutes, minutes elongate into long hours on slow days like this at The Beef. Especially in summer when the air conditioner stops working for the second time in the middle of August. Any living soul that crosses that door must have a dying wish or be the devil themselves to adventure themselves to what has become Michael's personal hell.

It's been a testing year, and there's so much he can do to fix this place right now. While he waits for Fak to come check the damn AC unit, Michael tends the front while Ebra takes his lunch break.

Turning the paper's pages on the counter, he comes across an article about the extensive fires eating different parts of the country. A wretched thought crosses his mind as he reads – maybe it'd be better to burn this place to the ground and start over. He entertains the idea for a second until the door swings open, inviting more heat into the boiling pot.

He lifts his eyes from the words to find a familiar face approaching the counter. It's not Fak, but a much better vision of someone he used to know.

“Mayhem Maya.”

“Magic Mikey.”

That former thought of burning down this place disappears somewhere in the midst of that beautiful aura that saunters with her big brown eyes, long raven hair, nervous smile, and firm steps.

“It's been a while, Maybird.” Almost ten years since she set foot in this establishment. “What brings you to this hole in the wall?”

“Came to collect that meatball sub you promised at uncle Teddy's funeral, remember?”

“Oh, right.”

Ever since she moved to a different state, he only had seen her a handful of times when she came back for the holidays. Last time he saw her was at the beginning of spring, when her uncle, Ted Silva, passed away.

“I also had an interview at the new vet clinic on the next block.” She places her cross-body bag on an empty stool while she perches her ass on the one next to it.

“How's that going? Did you get tired of California already?”

“No, I love California. But I needed a change of scenery. It's been rough after… you know…” the divorce. She wasn't married for long, but she still can't bring herself to say the word.

“I’ve heard some of it.” He’s pretty much aware of how everything went down. Well, he’s got grapevine’s juicy version of the story, but he never heard her side directly.

Though Michael and Maya know each other as if they were related, they were never close confidants. She always thought he was the coolest guy in Chicago. And he always thought fondly of her, given their families association, and Maya’s close friendship with his brother.

Michael places an order for her sandwich and grabs a soda for her, while she explains she has two more job interviews later.

“Does your mother know you're back?” He folds the paper and props his elbows on the counter.

“She probably does.”

“Still not talking, huh?”

“It's not my fault she made me the black sheep of the family. She’s like vitriol on steroids.”

“Yeah? What happened at the wake? You left before I could say goodbye.”

Michael recalls the tension at the funeral, particularly at the wake when Angela Silva grabbed Maya by the elbow and took her youngest daughter outside the house as if she was still a child that needed to be scolded.

“Nothing. I barely said a word that day. Guess everything I do feels like a personal attack to her. I can admit that I'm not perfect, and that sometimes I've acted up just to get a reaction out of her, but that day she just went off again…” She pauses without finishing that thought to take a refreshing sip of her coke. “And that wasn't nearly as bad as the day I told her I was getting…”

“Divorced? Why can't you say the word? It's not Voldemort.”

“What the hell do you know about Voldemort?”

“How do I… Who took you and Carmy to buy those damn books? Have you forgotten?” Maya shakes her head. “You even tried many times invoking his name, so I was haunted by eaters or something like that. You two were real potterheads.”

“And you were just a pothead,” she laughs, stirring the ice cubes in her drink with a straw. “I totally blocked that out. We were just a couple of nerds.”

“I’d say!”

“Meatball sub!” Richie calls from the pass-through window and takes a second look when catching Maya in the joint. “Maya Papaya?!”

“Please, don’t call me that.” She scoffs while Richie promptly abandons the kitchen and goes around the counter to give her a welcoming hug.

“Did you know she was coming?” He asks Michael, as he props his ass on the bar.

“Had no idea. She just showed up.”

“Did you tell her about Carmy?”

“What about him?”

“He’s in Copenhagen.”

“Oh, I knew about that.”

“You two talk often?”

“Sometimes, I guess.” Barely more likely. They don't even text anymore. She's tried but there's been nothing but crickets at his end for months.

While Richie grills her about Carmy and what she’s been up to, Michael can’t help but look around the shop to notice, from every corner and wall, memories bouncing all at once in his direction. It takes him back in time to those days when she and Carmy were as thick as thieves.

Their shared history goes back to that same street their families have lived on for over thirty years… It’s still clear in his mind, like it was yesterday, when he was forced to babysit them when they wanted to go to the movies or trick-or-treating or the bookstore. That was a little annoying back then, now he fondly remembers all those times in summer, when they’d go to the convenience store to get ice pops on their bikes. Then they’d ride back and sit in the middle of the swanky rug in their living room and watch TV for hours. More than once they were yelled at by Mama Berzatto when she would come home to find melted colorful stains in the fabric. She would lose her shit. Carmy was used to it. Maya wasn’t, but the girl never flinched once cause Donna and her own mother were cut from the same unstable piece of cloth.

Maya and Carmy were really close up until they went separate ways for college. Their bond was something to admire. They had something so special that inevitably, Carmy fell in love with her. She was his best friend and confident. They kept each other's secrets, and Carmy thought she'd feel the same in return. It wasn't a crazy notion. They spent so much time together, everyone thought it'd lead to something more, but that never happened.

Mikey and Richie used to tease the youngest cub relentlessly. They tried multiple times to encourage him to ask her out, but he never found the guts to do it. Especially if it could potentially end their friendship. Carmy didn't want to lose that. Though he never confessed his feelings, Maya always knew. Even in her teens, call it a woman’s intuition, part of her already knew. Maya wished she'd felt the same toward him, but the heart wants what it wants, and she couldn't change that.

What was really fucked up was that she had the most ridiculous crush on the older Berzatto when she was a teen. While she knew he'd never look at her as anything other than Carmy's annoying little friend, that didn't stop her from daydreaming about it for years. It was a secret that no one ever knew and that was placed in a drawer at the back of her mind after she left Chicago.

After graduating, Maya and Carmy stayed in touch for a long time, until their calls and texts became less frequent. They followed different dreams that required a lot of attention and sadly their friendship got hurt in the process.

While she attended Vet School on the west coast, he became a chef on the east.

Maya thrived at school and work. She really went out on her own, and became the woman she always wanted to be. Unsheltered, confident, outspoken. She outgrew her shell and opened herself to new experiences and people. She loved it all. It wasn’t smooth sailing, but for the most part she was pretty happy with her choices.

And now she's back in Chicago, set on a new path and awaiting to see where it takes her.

She’s living in a house in Oak Park with her dog, Coco; Richie fishes out of her. Apparently, she got some money from uncle Teddy, and she’s invested it in a home for her and her beloved staffy.

“Does Carmy know you’re here?” Richie circles back.

“No, I haven't talked to him in months.”

“Why? Did you two have a fall-out or something?”

“There's no why. We're just busy.”

“Mike, help me out here. Weren’t these two fools supposed to get married?”

“Yeah, everyone thought you'd ended up together.”

“Man, I don't know what to tell you, we just didn't,” her head sinks between her shoulders.

“Just get over yourself and hit him up. The kid has been hung up on you since forever. It looks like things didn’t go so well with your marriage and all. You should take that as a sign, you’d never find anyone better than Carmy. The boy could really use some excitement in his life. And so could you.”

“C’mon, leave her alone. Go back to work, Cousin.”

Michael throws her a lifeline, noticing how miserable she looks every time Richie opens his unfiltered mouth.

“He’s not wrong, you know? You and Carmy… it looked like you two had something special.” Michael offers once Richie is back in the kitchen.

“It’s called friendship. You should look it up.” She points out.

“I have Richie.”

“Exactly. You have Richie. Why don't you two marry the other and leave me alone? If you think about it, you were as close to Richie as I was with Carmy. Even more. Should everyone assume you are in love with him? Cause that's what you're implying.”

“Touché. I'll drop it.”

“Look, as hard as it is to believe, there was nothing else between us. I was aware he felt something for me, but I didn’t feel the same.”

“You should give him a chance sometime. He might surprise you.”

It’s not the first time these two have been trying to play matchmaker between Maya and Carmy, and it’s bizarre to see they still do at any given opportunity.

“Okay, if I give Carmy a chance, you have to give Richie a chance. Those are the rules, Berzatto.”

“Oh, I've tried. He's not into me,” he remarks, amused, and leans closer to confess something in a lower voice. “Do you wanna know a secret?”

“Uh, sure.”

“He and Tiffany are having a baby. He just told me a few days ago.”

“What? You let him reproduce? I'll pray for Tiff.”

Chapter 2: Cool as a cucumber

Everything falls slowly into place as Maya settles back in Chicago. She secures the job at the clinic near The Beef, which is a huge relief after her rushed decision of moving back to her hometown without securing a job first. It was part of the plan all along to practice what she loves but never thought this would be the year. As much as she loved California, once her divorce was finalized she felt like something was trapping her there. And the money she got from her uncle gave her some leeway to improvise, get away from all that, and start over.

Maya is spending her morning going through the stack of unpacked boxes, finding a good place for everything, making it feel more homey. It's not a big house, but spacious enough for the two of them. The big selling point was the backyard for Coco to zoom around and cool down in her wading pool, which she loves. It didn't take long for the five-year-old pup to get used to her new neighborhood. They've even made a couple of friends at the park nearby.

A moment before the doorbell rings, Coco whines from her spot by the window, where she often sits to watch passers in the street.

“Who is it?” Maya playfully asks her dog as she makes her way to the front door.

Through the peephole, she sees Michael's profile as he inspects the porch.

“Hi,” her eyes widen as she opens the door. “Didn't know you were coming.”

“Yeah, I would've called, but I didn't get your number the other day.” But he got her address from Richie's intense questioning when she visited the shop.

“I knocked on two different houses until I got the right one,” he explains as Coco curiously circles around his feet, sniffing his pants, hitting his crotch with her nose in the process.

“No, Coco. Sit. How many times have we talked about no nut-tapping?” Maya glances at her with amusement as the dog sits on her haunches.

“It’s fine,” he snorts. “All dogs do that.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. But she’s not any other dog. I thought I had taught her better. So what brings you here?”

“This.” He offers the paper bag hanging in his hand. “It's just a little house-warming gift.”

“You didn't have to.” As she takes the bag from his hand she ushers him inside before closing the door.

“It's nothing, really.”

He glances around as Maya takes out the box from the bag.

“Wow, a set of knives? That's not nothing.”

“Everyone needs one good set of knives. But you can exchange them for something else if you want.”

“No. I like these. But I gotta warn you that I'm not much of a cook, and I'll probably use the same one for everything.”

“That's fine I can show you sometime though. Is she friendly? ” He points at the dog that keeps staring at him. “Can I pet her?”

“Yeah, she loves everyone. Go ahead.”

Michael cautiously pets the brown coat of her head as her floppy ears lower at the passing of his hand.

“Never pictured you with a pit bull.���

“Me neither. I always thought I'd be a cat lady. But I met her at this adoption drive when she was one, and she stole my heart.”

“I can see why.” Michael crouches down, and pets Coco with both hands. “She's really sweet.”

He lets her lick his chin a couple of times before standing back on his feet. Then they go on a tour around the house.

“It's still a work in progress. I'm thinking of painting a few walls, but we like it so far.”

“Yeah, it has good bones.”

“So you don't have to work today?” Asks Maya.

“No, we've had some trouble with the gas line, and we've been shut down for a couple of days.”

“That sucks. Now where am I going to get my sandwiches and coffee on my way to work?”

“Heard Starbucks is pretty good.”

“Shut up. Don't even joke about that.” She playfully shoves his shoulder as they go back to the living room.

“Are you doing something later?”

She shakes her head. “Why?”

“I don't know, thought you were having a comeback party or something.”

“I don't really have any friends here. And I don't feel like inviting my family yet. As you can see, I still have a lot to unpack.”

“Physically or mentally speaking?”

“Both,” she scoffs.

“Let's do something then? Just you and me. We could grab some pizza, or go out for a drink for old times’ sake?”

“Old times’ sake?” It's amusing, surprising and confusing his sudden interest in her. Maybe he can see how pathetic she thinks she is, and he's taking pity on her. Although, that was never Michael style.

“Yeah, c'mon, Mayhem. You look like you could use some fun.” He picks up a book that's sitting on top from the box opened by the couch that's titled — Dating Again with Courage and Confidence: The Five-Step Plan to Revitalize Your Love Life after Heartbreak, Breakup, or Divorce. “And maybe a rebound or something. You don't need a fucking help book. You only need me to show where to get the best guys, or girls. Whatever you're into.”

“Give me that. I don't need a rebound, a help book, or you for all matter finding me a date.”

“No? Then why do you have that?”

“My friend Paige thought I should give it a try.”

“Maybe she was onto something there.”

“I'm perfectly fine. Just want to finish organizing everything, focus on work and this handful I have right here.” Her hand gestures at Coco. “What are you so interested in my love life anyway? First you try to play matchmaker with Carmy, and now you want me to do what, exactly? Hook up with the first guy I see?”

“No, I'm just asking you to go out and have some fun. I know Carmy was the only friend you had here. And if I was in your shoes, I'd feel pretty lonely.”

“I'm not lonely, Michael. Do I miss my friends in Sacramento? Sure,” she admits. “But I don't wanna force anything. I'm just taking it slow. When the time comes I'll jump right in but for now, this is all I need. Really. Stop pitying me.”

“I'm not pitying you, sweetheart.”

“No? Then what is it? Where is this coming from?”

“I don't know… I've always thought you were the salt of the earth. And though we never really hung out together, I thought you could use… But I can see now that you're different, and that you know what you need right now, so I'll just shut up and back off. Let you do your thing.”

“Thank you. I do know what I'm doing, by the way. You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine. But I appreciate you coming here anyway.”

“Yeah, of course. And I can help you unpack if you need.”

“Hm, if you don't have anything better to do, be my guest. We could grab a pizza later, if the offer still stands. Or just order some food.”

“Sure.”

Michael helps Maya unpack all the boxes and put everything in place in half the time it'd have taken her alone. They order some food for lunch and spend half the day talking and laughing until late in the afternoon when they decide to go out for some drinks to keep the good vibes going.

At the end of the night, she offers to drive Michael back to his apartment as a thank you for inviting her.

“Did you have fun?” Michael asks from the passenger seat as she pulls up in front of his building.

“Yeah, I did. I'm glad I changed my mind.”

“Me too. I didn't know you were this fun. You're nothing like I remember.”

“Yeah, I was kind of weird growing up. You guys probably thought there was something wrong with me. ”

“Nah, don't be so hard on yourself. We were all weird in our own way.”

“Uh-uh. No Michael Berzatto. You were the coolest guy back in the day, and you still are.”

“I don’t know about that,” he scoffs. “For the record… I never thought there was anything wrong with you.”

“You were probably the only one… Anyway, thank you for today. I know I said I didn't need this, but I guess I did.”

“You're welcome, Maybird. I'm glad you’re back.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Thanks for bringing me home,” he softly squeezes her arm before reaching for the handle to open the door.

“No problem.”

“You know you can call me if you ever miss your friends, y’know?” he throws casually.

“I uh…sure. I will.”

“Okay.”

“Okay,” she echoes back as he pulls the handle and the door opens.

“Have a good night, Michael,” she says as he gets one foot on the pavement.

“You, too, sweetheart.”

He closes the door and vaguely waves as she sets the car in motion and watches her drive away.

Chapter 3: Don't cry over spilled milk

In the few weeks he's been spending time with Maya, Michael has found himself enjoying her company more than he'd like to admit. Being with her grounds him. She makes him forget for a little while all that's wrong in his life. She's like a beacon in that immerse darkness that his sorry existence has become. Despite having her own set of problems, he's watched her rise above all that with poise. He wonders what it's her secret to her steadfast determination, even when her own family has disavowed her.

After closing shop, he dives into his stash to tame that brewing headache before driving to Oak Park to pay her a visit. She told him earlier via text that she was at Home Depot buying some paint to update the color of her bedroom and asked him to come over to hang out after work.

For some reason, he couldn't say no. Not even the storm in his head is strong enough to deny her request. He has a pull on him, tugging him hard like a dog tied to a leash in her hand, he can’t help but follow her lead.

When he arrives at her house, she's halfway done. Two of the walls shine bright new in a lavender tone as she starts working on the next one.

After having beer and playing a tug of war game with his new friend, Coco, Michael offers his help to finish painting the walls. He uses a brush to paint the corners, while she gracefully uses a roller like a pro with her denim overalls over a tank top, and her raven hair pulled up in a ponytail sprinkled with lavender paint beads. When she lifts one of her arms, he catches a glimpse of a tattoo on the side of her rib cage, leveled to the roundness of her chest that looks like the outline of a dog paw.

“What are you looking at?” She asks after catching him staring.

“You have paint on your chin.”

“Oh.” She wipes it with the back of her hand, but she just spreads the stain along her jaw. “I made it worse, didn't I?”

“Yeah.”

She shrugs it off and continues with the task ahead until the whole wall is covered.

“Is everything okay, Bear?” Maya puts down the paint roller. “You're quieter than usual.”

“Yeah, everything's alright.” It sounds so honest, he almost believes it. “It's just been a long day.”

“I'm sorry that I put you to work.”

“Don't be. This is relaxing.”

“Yeah?” She takes a step back and surveys how much brighter her bedroom looks already after covering most of the former downcast grey. “Is the color right? Do you think it's too girlish?”

Giving the room a once over he says, “it's a good shade. I dig it. It doesn't matter what I think or if it's too girlish, as long as you like it. Do you like it?”

“Yeah. I do.”

She dips the roller on the tray to cover another section of the wall.

“You never told me what happened at the funeral with your mom,” Michael leans on the stepladder, taking a short break.

“Do you really wanna know?” She glances over her shoulder.

“Yeah. Everyone does. I’ve heard some crazy stories about it. Thought I should get it straight from the source.”

“I never pegged you for a gossip girl.”

“I’m not. I’m just making conversation.”

She mockingly narrows her eyes, drawing a lopsided smirk, “liar.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wanna. But yeah, can’t help being a little curious about it.”

“I don’t mind telling you, but it won’t be as entertaining as those crazy stories people have made up.”

“I’m not here for entertainment. I just wanna hear your side of the story, Maybird.”

Maya lets out a heavy sigh and while keeping her focus on the wall she shares with him what really happened. She’s right to say that is not the best story she’s ever told, though when it comes to her mother, all her stories tend to have a surreal element even she can’t fathom sometimes.

That day at the funeral, she was taken outside during the wake by Angela Silva to get scolded about her imminent divorce. It wasn’t finalized by then, and her mom invoked one last Hail Mary to convince her to stay with her husband, who was also currently dating someone else. It was a messy situation that Maya couldn't wait to get out of, and the fact that her mother never offered an ounce of support wasn’t surprising, but still devastating. Somehow, Angela found that the reason for her separation from her husband was that Maya didn’t want to have kids, and that really vexed Angela. All she wanted for her three kids was to follow the same traditional path Angela was forced into, no matter how miserable she was. Her two older sisters followed her mother’s narrowed traditional values. But Maya, ever-the-nonconformist, swore she would never follow anyone’s drum beat but her own. Her husband thought she’d change her mind eventually. He was wrong. She knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, which led her here, to this moment.

“Is your mom ever happy?” Michael has always wondered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen her happy, except when she’s drunk. That’s why she has to make everyone else miserable.”

“Yeah, but she’s always had a fixation on making you miserable.”

“Like I said, every family needs a black sheep, and I’m it.”

“Is that why you became a vet?”

“Yeah, probably.”

“So, it's true, you don’t wanna have kids? I’m not judging. I’m just curious.”

“I honestly don't know. I just knew that when he told me he wanted to have a baby right away, it didn’t feel right. I said that maybe in six or seven years I’d be okay with it. Told him I wanted to travel and just be us for a while, and he said that was too long to wait. I don’t know… he stopped talking to me, and it was clear that he wasn’t changing his mind, and I wasn’t changing my mind, so. At some point I got tired of trying… He got a girlfriend as soon as I filed for divorce and I got a text from Paige the other day that said he got her already pregnant, like… that was never me. I guess it served me right… I married him on a whim, an impulse without really talking about what we wanted…”

“Hey, don’t feel sorry for yourself. You dodged a bullet there.”

“You really think that?.”

“Yeah, I do. You stood up for yourself and knew when to step back when it didn’t feel right. Not everyone has the balls to do that. Think how miserable you’d be by now if you had tried to please him or your mom. You seem happy now. That's what matters.” He means that with all his heart, and wishes he had the same drive to follow those same steps. As much as he loved the restaurant, he chose to run it to please people within his family. And that love turned into a nightmare he couldn't escape.

“You know… I liked you better when you were quiet,” she quips.

Michael huffs a soft laugh, picking up his brush to resume painting.

When the room is finished, she plugs a couple of fans and closes the door to keep Coco away.

Maya washes her hands and face in the bathroom sink. When she comes out, she catches the motion of Michael's arm as he shoves what looks like a pill into his mouth before taking a gulp of water from one of her glasses.

“What was that? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. It's just a headache,” looking down, he runs a palm over his short growing beard.

“Is it the fumes?”

“No, I had it before coming here.”

“Michael,” she sighs softly at his name. “You should've told me. I wouldn't have let you help if I knew.”

“Would you stop that? I wanted to help.”

“Okay, c'mere. Let's sit down.”

“No, I think I should get going.”

“Nonsense. I'm not going to let you drive until you feel better.”

He yields with a long exhale, and follows Maya into the living room, where her bed is settled askew in the middle of the space.

She takes a seat on the edge of the mattress and waits for him to sit next to her.

“Give me your hand,” she shows her palm up, as his eyes narrow. “C'mon, don't be a baby, give me your hand, Berzatto.”

“When did you become so bossy?” He slowly lifts his hand and as he lays it on top of her palm, his fingers tremble upon contact with her skin. Maya then uses her opposite hand to clip the webbing between his thumb and pointer fingers with her own and begins massaging that spot.

“My friend Sierra is really into acupressure. She says this is a pressure point that helps with headaches.” She explains while slowly increasing the force. “Does it hurt?”

“Not one bit. Is that like acupuncture?” His voice comes as a whisper as he focuses on her diligent fingers.

“Kinda. I think. I’m not really sure.”

“You don't have to fix me, you know?”

“I'm not trying to fix you, Bear. I just wanna make you feel better.”

“Admit it. You just love a good wounded animal.”

She smiles softly, placing his hand down on his knee and picking up the other. “Does it feel any different?”

He’s not really sure, it wasn’t truly a headache that led them to take that pill but the annoying rambling of his thoughts. She shouldn’t have seen that. And he shouldn’t have lied. But having her hands on his like this is straight up lovely. Inside of him, it truly feels like something is broken, wounded, and missing, and this is giving him a sliver of relief as he waits for the pill to kick in. If he was a better man, he’d tell her the truth. But he’s too far gone for saving. All he can do is keep that facade up.

“Does it?” She insists after not getting an answer.

“A little.”

“Do you wanna lay down?”

Swallowing, he responds with a nod, and they both lean back on the mattress at the same time. Looking at the ceiling, she keeps kneading that pressure point, unsure if she’s even doing it right.

They stay in comfortable silence for a good five minutes and when she finally places his hand down, Maya glances to the side and sees that his eyes have closed, and his chest gently rising and falling. She calls his name softly, but she can see that behind the sharp edges of his face and the ever-growing shade of his beard, he’s truly exhausted, so she doesn’t insist. She extends her hand to turn off the lamp, and curls on the other side of the bed without disturbing his sleep.

“Good night,” she says softly and closes her eyes.

From a dusty corner of her mind comes crawling that little forgotten part that used to harbor a lot of feelings for Michael. Though a few weeks ago he seemed practically the same Michael she knew, over the past month she’s keenly noticed little changes here and there. His eyes sometimes cast a dark shade tainted in nothing but sadness, it’s barely noticeable for other people. It comes and goes, but it tells her he’s not truly as happy as he pretends to be.

Michael wakes up disoriented at the crack of dawn.

It takes him a few seconds to remember he’s still in Mayas’ bed in the middle of her living room and that the weight that has his arm pinned is her body pressed against his. She’s warmly snuggled on his side, with her arms tucked between his chest and hers, and a peaceful expression on her beautiful face. She’s so awfully close, he can smell the scent of her hair, and feel the heat of her breath every time she exhales.

It's such an odd moment for him to have her that close. He's unsure of whether it would be better to slip out of bed unnoticed before she wakes up, or just stay there and watch her sleep for a bit longer. Either option would make him look like a creep, he thinks. So he opts to gently wake her up. His free hand reaches to his forehead to move a stand of hair away. Her brow scrunches as his light-feather touch grazes her skin. His lips curve up as he traces the shell of her ear to see her stir awake. She blinks slowly a couple of times until her focus shifts onto him.

“Hey, Maybird.”

“Hey.” Her lips move, it's barely audible.

“Sorry, I fell asleep.” His fingers absentmindedly massage her earlobe.

She's so stunned by waking up to that level of intimacy, she simply nods, as her mouth softly draws a smile.

“It's fine. Does your head feel better?”

“Much better. That pressure thing really worked.”

“I'm glad.”

“Listen, I gotta go open. Maybe we could do something later?”

“Okay,” she swallows nervously, hoping that waking up with him like this isn't just a dream. “Can you do me a favor first?”

“Sure.”

“Can you stay five more minutes?”

“I uh… I think I can,” against his better judgment, he decides he can stay for a few minutes more holding her.

The way her lips pull up timidly at the corners, revealing the dimples framing her mouth, completely disarms him. He’s always felt a certain affinity towards her, but being this close to her awakes a longing within that feels dangerous. He can’t bring someone new into his life. Not while everything around him is falling apart. It’s already hard enough having to pretend around other people.

He couldn’t do that to her. He won’t.

Michael will have to fight harder because when her arm tucks around his waist he can’t help but press his lips against her forehead.

Chapter 4: Hard nut to crack

Four months later…

After that initial moment of weakness when he fell asleep on her bed, he fought hard to elude that odd longing that has only grown into a big mass of love toward Maya. To anyone else in the world, a feeling as big as that would be a blessing, especially when it's reciprocated. To Michael, it's a weakness he can't afford right now.

Spending all that time with Maya has been like discovering a whole new planet Michael never thought existed. She's all vast, uncharted territory that fazes him more than it should. Despite his best efforts, he’s fallen into her alluring orbit and can’t find the way out into his own universe.

Far gone is that moody teenager that would mumble a few words here and there. And now there's this tragically stunning woman that looks you directly in the eye, says anything that crosses her mind, and laughs without a care in the world.

Though falling in love with her wouldn’t be completely wrong, it's not quite right either. It fills him with guilt to think about her in that manner. Moreover, it feels like a betrayal to Carmy, who’s far away in a different continent, prospering in his craft.

Michael tries to fool himself into believing that this is just temporary infatuation. He’s even attempted several times to convince her to get in touch with Carmy but hasn’t succeeded. It’d be easier for him if she were to put her focus on someone else instead of him. He has nothing to offer to her and has deemed himself unworthy of her, or anyone for that matter. If she only knew what’s really going on with him, she wouldn’t want Michael nearly as she believes she does.

Layer by layer, she’s tearing all his walls and defenses down. And after all the back and forth, he's absolutely sure she wants more than he can offer her. She’s been giving him the right signals. She doesn't shy away from it. Maya is direct and impulsive, and everything about her is fascinating and intimidating.

It’s time to either cut her loose, or accept that he’s madly in love with her and do something about it.

Amidst coming to terms with a final decision, he's lured into a surprise party she's organized for his birthday.

Michael is left speechless by her determination. And a little annoyed too for reasons he can't explain. To be honest, he’s never been a fan of surprise parties, but the main problem is that this would make things much harder for him to let her down easily. She’s carved herself into his life and the longer he drags this out, the worse this is going to hurt.

He’s aware that it’s selfish and obtuse of him for being that ungrateful that someone who cares that profoundly about him, that they would go all out to prove that. He feels like an asshole, but the train has already left the station.

Using the same tiring self-defense mechanism, he draws his best smile and brings out the Michael everyone seems to love. Not without help. There's always that crutch tucked in his wallet in the form of a pill. Being high numbs him enough to deal with the situation.

The cherry on top comes at the end of the night, when he walks her up to her car and asks if he's had a good time. He lies through his teeth and for the first time, he can tell Maya is not buying it. Perhaps she never did, but he's well-versed on her tells by now, and he can clearly see she's fed up with all the bullshit that comes out of his mouth.

“Look, it's not that I didn't like the party. It's just that I hate surprises, and I was exhausted today. But it was a nice thought, sweetheart. I just… I wasn't in the right mood.” It's seemingly convincing the second time around, but her face shows nothing but regret. “I love the jacket you bought me, though.”

Michael has never been interested in fashion, but he's always loved vintage jackets, and the one she picked it's a perfect addition to his collection. It's a bomber jacket, aviator style, in brown leather with a couple of patches and fur collar.

As they reach Maya's car, they come to a stop. She turns to him, “I know I can be a little too much sometimes. But I promise no more surprises from now on.”

“You and I both know, you won’t be able to keep that promise even if your life depended on it. That's part of what makes you– you, sweetheart. Don’t let my bad mood ruin that.”

“I’ll try.”

After a beat, without hesitation she leans in to leave a goodnight kiss on his bearded cheek and on a whim, she decides to press a second one on his lips.

It takes him completely aback. He wants to dive so badly into her mouth, but he freezes on the spot. And when Maya attempts to deepen the kiss, he finally reacts by placing a placating hand on her shoulder as he pulls his head back.

“I'm… I'm sorry we can't do this, Maya.”

“Wait, I thought… Did I misread something?”

“No, you didn’t misread anything. I just can’t do this.”

“Why?”

“I can't.”

“You can't or don’t want to?”

“Guess I don’t want to.”

“Can you at least tell me why? Did I do something wrong?”

“You did nothing wrong, sweetheart.” He wants to spill out the old – it's not you, it's me – excuse, but he refrains. Every thought and action go against every good instinct he's ever had. He hates himself for making her feel insecure. And yet, he can't backtrack now.

“Stop calling me sweetheart. You see how misleading that is?”

“Sorry. I think I gave you the wrong impression.”

Her eyes narrow, and he can see the gears turning for a long moment before opening her mouth.

“I don't think you gave me the wrong impression, Michael. I think you're too chickenshit to admit that there's something between us and, for whatever reason, you're just taking the coward's way out. You've been weird the whole night, especially with me. I just threw a party just for you, the least you can do is tell me why.”

“I didn't ask you to do that. And I don't owe telling you shit! I was trying to let you go easy, but nothing is ever easy with you. So I'll just say it. This, you and me, is never going to happen.”

It sounds ridiculous as it comes out of his mouth, but he stands firm on that statement as her heart breaks in front of him.

In the end, it'd be better for her, he believes.

[fyonahmacnally]

Watching Her

Kara stares at the blank screen in front of her. She’s been sitting at her dining room table for what feels like days. She needs to be writing her article, but it seems her brain has other plans. Instead, she’s trying to string together the words that have plagued her mind for months. Well, plaguing her for years really, if she’s being honest. 

Plus, lately there’s this urgent need to explain to her raven haired goddess of a best friend how much she means to the hero. Every time Kara thinks she can speak it aloud, the words get stuck in her throat. So, she thought she’d write them instead. Apparently that’s not working either since she’s been staring at her screen for Rao knows how long. No article and no words for Lena. She’s come up short either way. Since the genius woman left for Newfoundland a few days ago, the blonde hasn’t been able to think of much else. 

Just Lena. Always Lena.

Her time in the Phantom Zone was wrought with the fear of never seeing those mesmerizing bi-colored eyes or touching soft porcelain skin again. Their relationship has weathered storms most married couples haven’t faced. A sentiment that forces her thoughts down a path she’s skillfully avoided for years. Kara knows they reconciled and have swapped both apologies and forgiveness, but she’s still not sure where they stand. What they are. Friends? Yes, but there’s always been more. Unfortunately, dealing with the madness surrounding Lex and Nyxly hasn’t given them much time to sort through things. To truly talk.

There are countless things Kara wants to say. While in the Phantom Zone, she relived almost every moment of her relationship with Lena. The worst of things played out before her on most occasions, but the visions also allowed her subconscious to say things she’s always been too cowardly to say. As much as being there sucked, it also gave her insight into how much is still unsaid between them. Insight into where her true home lies. Who is her perfect partner at game night. 

It’s Lena. It has always been Lena.

She shakes her head with a sigh. The cursor on her screen mocks her. This is what happens every time she tries to put words on the page. Her thoughts instantly drift to Lena and all the words she’s choked back or refused to speak. Then a smile drifts across her lips, thoughts of how close she came to kissing the raven haired goddess. Right there in the middle of the tower when she first greeted Lena. If it hadn’t been for Alex and everyone else in the room, she might have. 

No, she’s sure she would have.

“Rao, stop it Kara!” She mutters to herself, slapping her forehead to punctuate her point. “You have an article to write. Even if it is a fluff piece for Andrea.”

Rolling her eyes at the thought of her boss, she straightens her spine, stretches her arms in front of her, shakes them out, and settles back in to write. 

A few hours later, Kara realizes she’s been writing a stream of consciousness. Her once blank document is filled with words. It’s great that she was able to get so many words on the page, but it’s absolutely, 100% not related to the article she needs to write for her deadline. A deadline two days from now. 

Nope. 

Every single word is related to Lena. 

Kara drops her chin to her chest, blowing out a breath of frustration before sitting back in her chair and dragging her hands down her face. “Okay, I guess I should read through this mess of thoughts. Maybe it will give me something for Lena.”

As her eyes rove over the page, drinking in the words she has written, Kara feels her body grow warm. Before her, on the laptop screen, sits the words she’s been looking for. The combination of things she’s longed to share with her best friend for the better part of six years. Sure, she’s going to have to edit some things and polish it up. However, she’s confident she finally has the words she wants to share. 

Lena comes back early. Kara isn’t sure why, but her raven haired friend doesn’t seem open to talking about it. She can tell something is on Lena’s mind though. The woman’s behavior certainly derails Kara’s plan to give Lena the journal/letter she wrote. 

Just another delay. Such is the life they live. The life of a hero.

They make plans to hangout together. Kara invites Lena to her loft to catch up and eat pie. Because…pie! 

The blonde watches her, drinking in her profile. Strong, sharp jawline. Soft, pouty lips. Perfectly manicured brows, vibrant porcelain skin, and shiny ebony locks cascading down her back, a few strands hanging over her shoulder and resting on her collarbone. Lena is without a doubt the most beautiful person Kara has ever seen, across any and all planets she’s been on. This woman captivates her, steals her breath, and owns her heart. 

She must get lost in her observation because the next thing she feels is a soft hand on her forearm breaking her from her trance.

“Kara?” Lena practically whispers, squeezing the hero’s forearm. “Darling, are you okay?”

She clears her throat, her embarrassment no doubt on display across her cheeks, spreading onto her ears. “Umm, yeah. F-Fine.”

Lena cocks her head to the side, patented eyebrow raise in place. “Want to try again? I know you didn’t catch what I said because you undoubtedly would have responded.” She releases the blonde’s forearm before shifting to face her. “Now, tell me what’s going on in that beautiful brain of yours.”

A long, shaky sigh makes its way out of Kara’s mouth. She is unquestionably not going to admit what currently has her distracted. Which means she needs to come up with something that is close to the truth, but doesn’t force her to admit her feelings. Not yet.

“I just, well, I missed you.” She reaches up to adjust glasses that aren’t there before diverting her hand to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. “There’s so much we have to catch up on and it’s a little surreal that you’re here. With me. Right now.” She trails off, the fading blush from a few minutes ago rushing back across her impervious skin. 

A full, gorgeous, dimpled smile spreads across Lena’s face. It’s the smile that Kara used to see all the time during their countless lunch dates and game nights. It makes her heart stutter in her chest, a sight more beautiful than Rao’s dawn on Krypton. 

“I missed you, too. We do have a lot to catch up on.” Lena winks at her before sitting her half-eaten pie on the coffee table. “Do you want me to finish what I was saying or are you ready to tell me what’s got you so distracted?”

“Y-You go ahead and finish what you were saying. We can talk about my scattered brain later.” She gives her most endearing grin, hoping it will persuade her best friend to continue.

It works. They exchange stories for the next couple of hours. Lena shares what she learned about her mother and how apparently she comes from a long line of powerful sorceresses. Kara shares the crazy things they fought and dealt with in her absence along with the plan to get rid of Lex and Nyxly for good. Another night of completely skirting her inner dialogue. 

And so it goes for several weeks afterward. They spend their time working to get rid of the worst Luthor and his psychotic fifth-dimensional girlfriend. In the aftermath of William’s death, losing Lillian, and Alex and Kelly’s wedding, Lena seems to come to terms with her magical abilities and gain confidence in her new identity as the last Luthor standing. 

The good Luthor.

While Alex and Kelly are on their honeymoon, Kara and Lena finally have the conversation both of them have been putting off. 

The two of them are curled up on opposite ends of Kara’s couch, each holding a cup of their preferred tea. They exchange shy, knowing smiles for several seconds before Lena breaks the comfortable silence.

“You know, I used to think the biggest monsters I had to fear were Lex and Lillian.” Lena softly says, running her finger along the edge of her rapidly cooling mug. “Over the past year and especially these last few months, I’ve learned we make our own monsters. We make our own monsters, then fear them for what they show us about ourselves.”

A plethora of emotions swirl in the verdant eyes that look up and connect with concerned, but affectionate blue ones. They revel in brief silence, drinking in the intimacy and vulnerability of their shared space. Two battered souls that completely understand one another in ways no one else can.

Lena takes a deep breath, sits her now cold mug on the coffee table, and pats the cushion next to her hoping Kara will slide closer. She watches as Kara places her own mug down and shuffles across the couch, planting herself close enough that Lena’s knee sits against the side of her thigh. A delicate, pale hand rests on top of a warm tan one.

Kara turns her hand to lace their fingers together, gently squeezing Lena’s in a show of comfort. “I get that, at least I think I do. We’ve both been through so much in our lives, so much trauma.” The hero sucks in a ragged breath, all the things she’s lost flashing through her mind. “We both have wounds that will never show on our bodies. Wounds that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds. But, as painful as they are, they’ve built us into who we are.”

A soft huff and a chuckle of incredulity sound beside her causing blue eyes to shift from their hands to Lena’s half-amused, half-saddened expression. “You’re not wrong, but I wish there was a better, less painful path to get here.” She rolls her eyes at the situation. “I guess part of my point in saying this about Lex and Lillian is that loving and yearning for love can be blinding. Sometimes, I think, we don’t really see how toxic someone is until we finally breathe fresher air.”

Lena lifts her free hand to gently rub soft patterns into the skin on Kara’s hand still clasped in hers. “When I was in Newfoundland, it reminded me that who I am and where I came from are only small pieces of who I want to be. Being in the fresh air, away from the Luthor name gave me a new perspective. It helped me realize some things.” 

A wistful smile spreads across her face as she pauses her ministrations on Kara’s skin. “There is a home no one can take from you, a home that will last. I think who you are, who you surround yourself with, and what you believe in is your real home. For me, that home is you, Kara.” She takes a shaky breath and makes eye contact with the blonde, hoping to convey how truly sincere she is. The raw truth in her statement.

Kara’s breath catches, her eyes glisten with tears. Lena hasn’t actually said the words she longs to hear, but it carries the same meaning. She does her best to collect her emotions and prevent the epic ramble she can sense coming. There is a journal/letter or whatever you want to call it she needs to share with Lena. So. She needs to get herself together. 

Which is hard when Lena looks so stunning. The happiness and confidence that exudes from her without Lex and Lillian looming over her, it makes her more alluring than ever. Kara’s mind constantly drifts to thoughts of ebony locks and viridian eyes.

Rao, Lena has never looked so beautiful. She’s a goddess amongst mere mortals…

She shakes her head and forces herself back to reality.

“You know, I spent a lot of time thinking about things too. While you were in Newfoundland, I mean. Well, and while I was in the Phantom Zone. Lots of time to think there.” She shakes her head, the urge to ramble growing stronger and she wants to do this right. Blowing out a breath and pulling another in, she tries to calm herself before trying again. “I’ve given a lot of thought to having a home and what it really means to me. I always see the same thing, Lena. Your face, your smile. It’s always you. I, umm, I wrote something about it while you were gone.”

Releasing their connected hands proves more difficult than she anticipated, but she manages. She pulls the folded paper from her pocket where it has been since she finished it. Her hope was the right moment would present itself and she could either let Lena read it or read it to her. Now the moment is here and she’s more nervous than her Pulitzer ceremony.

Clearing her throat, she pauses before locking eyes with her best friend and lightly shrugs. “I guess I’m not sure if you want to just read it or if you want me to read it to you. I mean, I’ll do either. Just as long as you know what it says and…” A nervous chuckle escapes and she shifts herself on the couch, turning her body toward her best friend. “What would you prefer? I’m going to be nervous and jittery regardless.”

Lena tilts her head and lifts her hand to her chin feigning thought. “Well, if you are giving me the choice, I am going to choose having you read it to me.” She pats the Kryptonian on the thigh before leaning her elbow onto the backrest of the couch, propping her head in her hand. “If I can listen to your words and hear your thoughts through your voice, I am going to choose that option every time, Kara.”

They laugh and settle into place as Kara unfolds the paper. She knows this is going to change things, she just doesn’t know how much. With one last look at the woman that holds her heart, she begins to read.

--------------------------

Watching her. It’s something I catch myself doing quite frequently. It’s not that I mean to or I do it on purpose. It just happens. She’s always captivated me. Her wit. Her brilliance. Her grace. Not to mention her eyes. Her smile. Her armor piercing eyebrow raise. There are so many things about her that reel me in.

From the first moment our eyes met, the first time my eyes connected with the deep pools of sea green, I knew she was special. Someone important. And that is the moment my world shifted.

Watching her is distracting. She moves with a sense of surety and power unlike any I’ve seen. Her intelligence is a super power very few possess, she wields it with both caution and tenacity. The desire to help others is so innate to her soul, even the sinister Luthors couldn’t break her drive to do good.

From the first time she helped save the city, I knew she was a hero. A woman worthy of respect and honor, no matter the name she was born under. That was the moment I knew we could take on the world together.

Watching her is awe inspiring. She is so willing to give, to help others, to share her inventions and love of science for the betterment of society, for the greater good of the world. She strives to help others, sometimes even at the detriment of herself.

From the moment she put herself on the line for the safety of others, I knew she was worthy of more than what so many hurl at her. Worthy of love, trust, and respect, leagues beyond what the world has given her.

Watching her is life changing. Life has so many twists and turns, nothing is guaranteed or promised. But when I see her, when I watch her teach her goddaughter new things, when I watch her toss her head back in unrestrained laughter, even when I watch tears drift down her pale cheeks…watching her is life changing.

From the moment I first held her in my arms, I knew my life was forever changed. The gift of her smile is priceless, the gift of her trust is sacred, but the gift of her love is divine.

Watching her has forever changed my life, finding her is how I found my home. --------------------------

Kara finishes reading, but is hesitant to look up. She’s not sure how Lena is going to react and doesn’t want to see rejection reflected back at her. It isn’t until she hears a soft sniffle that her head bolts up and her eyes find teary, sparkling green ones. 

Her eyes widen and she reaches out to wipe the tears away. “I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.” The blonde grabs the box of tissues from the coffee table and hands one to Lena. “Are you okay? Do you need me to leave? I can…”

Her rambling words are halted by a soft finger pressing against her lips. She keeps her eyes on the woman the finger belongs to. The mossy pools she’s gotten lost in countless times search her oceanic ones, apparently finding what she needs.

Lena slowly removes her finger, gently lifting both hands to rest on Kara’s cheeks. She presses their foreheads together and sighs. “I guess two lost little girls finally found their home.”

Neither of them know who leaned in first. In the end, it really doesn’t matter. Not when the result is their lips pressing together and a home to call their own.

[gyuwoncheol]

Hope Is A Dangerous Thing

Pair: idol!Mingyu x f!reader

Genre: Good ‘ol, painful breakup

Summary: No one has ever loved you as much as Kim Mingyu does, and you've also always loved him back just as hard. So why wasn’t it enough?

Warnings: pain. Lots of it. Angst.

WC: 2.2k

Note: aaaah! First SVT work to be posted in publicever. The plot is admittedly cliché but i'm a suckerfor thess types of things and for anything sad and angsty. Enjoy!

He heard the doorbell ring twice in his home, startled at the loud sound against the quiet night he was having just scanning through Instagram. Slowly getting up, Mingyu made his way to the main door to check who his unexpected guest was past midnight. The familiar frame of the girl he loved appearing through the peephole was enough indication and he swung open the big white door right away. But more than the unexpected visit, the look on your face was the bigger surprise.

You had been crying. Red nose, red eyes, tear stained cheeks, and a slightly swollen upper lip. Your small frame semeed to have drowned in a thick grey hoodie to shield you from the cold midnight breeze.

“Hi” you exhaled awkwardly, hands tucked deep into the pocket of your hoodie

“Babe” Mingyu immediately wrapped you in an embrace, concern laced in his voice but he also felt how you tensed up under his touch. “What’s wrong? You didn’t tell me you were coming”

“Yeah I’m sorry” you shakily responded, “can I come in?”

Mingyu found it weird how polite you were being, almost as if you hadn’t spent countless nights in his home. As he welcomed you in the living room, you took a seat on the armchair by the side even when he lead you to the bigger couch where he had been seated. To say he was confused would be an understatement, you were acting like a stranger to him.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Mingyu prodded, bringing you back to reality as he sat closely across you and held your hands.

You didn’t know what to say and even though you tried to hold it in, another fat tear rolled down your cheek. Your vision blurred in an instant and your hands flew to cover your face as the crying started once again.

At this point, Mingyu was even more concerned. He pulled you in his arms, effortlessly lifting you onto his lap to cradle you as you cried. For once, you let go of all your rational thinking and buried your face into his chest, neither one of you caring that you’d wet his shirt. Your brain was racing a million thoughts an hour but you just wanted to be held close by him a few minutes more. Without knowing what’s going on, the raven haired boy simply held you close to him, his large hand rubbing your back up and down even if it actually just made you cry more.

“Babe...” Mingyu started slowly after a while, a pout now etched on his face “I know you probably don’t want to talk about it, but could you at least tell me what this is about? I’m getting so worried”

You shut your eyes tight, almost praying that Mingyu would think you had fallen asleep and didn’t hear him but even you knew that was impossible. Besides, though you did not want to talk about it, you needed to talk about it. That’s why you came here in the first place.

Inching away from your boyfriend to sit right beside him, your body facing his, you scanned his features: his week-old haircut, the mole on his nose, his chapped lips, the warm brown eyes that looked back at you with so much love and concern, those cheeks you loved to squeeze, and those soft pink lips that felt best against your own. You had taken many mental photos of your sweet boy in all your favourite moments with him, and though you were sure tonight wasn’t going to be a one of them, you still drank in all his little features, commiting every single one to memory.

You reached your hand up to his cheek, the pad of your thumb gently caressing the skin below it before you let out a heavy sigh as you eyes met his.

“You know I love you, right?” Your small voice squeaked with that little accent he was so used to hearing

Reaching up his own hand on his cheek to cover yours, Mingyu nodded and replied with a sad smile “of course I do”

“Then I’m gonna need you to listen to me okay?” You said as Mingyu’s grip on your hand tightened, as if saying yes to her

Swallowing a large lump on your throat, you took a quick glance at him before looking away, “Gyu...” you said in pain, “I need to let you go”

In that moment, Mingyu was pretty sure he felt his whole world stop, like everything just shut down. Literally. It’s like he went deaf yet still clearly heard what you said. He was hoping it was a mere glitch in the system, or that it was a joke, like it was magically April Fool’s day in the midst of September.

You stared back at Mingyu, a deathly silence overtaking the room as you waited for his answer. It took him so long to respond that you debated about repeating it again.

“No” Mingyu didn’t know how long it actually took him to say that, but he replied with enough conviction to make you snap your eyes towards him

“What?”

“No. I said no.” Mingyu repeated. If awhile ago, he thought you were acting like a stranger, this time he was sure of it. Was he just flung into an alternate universe? What the fuck was going on..

“Gyu..” you sighed heavily, “please don’t be like this” you said as another batch of tears started to blur your vision

“Be like what? Fight for our relationship?” He argued this time, he really didn’t want to raise his voice but a point had to be made. “You said you love me right?”

“Babe, please-“

“You said you love me, right?” He asked again, punctuating every word and wanting— no, needing to get a reply from you

“Yeah! I do!” You frustrated

If Mingyu was being honest, he had always feared this day. But if there was one thing Mingyu was good at, it was at staying positive. He always saw the silver lining at everything. Now this also meant that he was very good at being in denial.

“So why are you doing this? People who love each other don’t break up. They stay together, they work things out together! And we..” he looked at you, eyes pleading desperately, “We will do just that”

“Gyu, it’s not as easy as it seems”

“NO ONE SAID IT WOULD BE!” Mingyu finally snapped, “BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE DON’T TRY”

“You think I didn’t try? You think we didn’t try? It’s all we’ve been doing!” You explained, recounting all the efforts you both poured out into the 14 month relationship. “But Gyu, this relationship will never go anywhere when so many people don’t want it in the first place. Your management won’t let you date, there will be fans who won’t agree with it, and my parents.. they don’t want me with you. Everyone is literally coming for us. I can only name two people who actually want us together: Wonwoo and my best friend who’s halfway across the world!”

“My other members would like you…” your boyfriend reasoned out

“Your other members don’t even know about me” you said in a pained voice that brought shame to Mingyu. Had the circumstances been different, he would’ve so loved for his brothers to meet you. He's sure you'd get along well. But he had experienced first hand how catastrophic it got when Jihoon's relationship was found out by management. The rest of them suffered too when it was discovered they had known about it all along and helped keep it a secret. He didn't want to inflict that same fate to his members if his relationship got exposed, so Mingyu always thought it better to just keep it to himself. Wonwoo only ever found out by mere accident.

“Why do we care what others think about our relationship? It’s just between you and I, not you, me, and everyone else”

“I know Gyu” you exhaled, “but truth is, with a job like yours, everyone else will keep intruding no matter what. I wish I didn’t care what they thought, but it kills me that you constantly have to sneak behind the members backs. It also eats me alive that no one in my family wants to talk to me. Yes, I’m happy with you, but I can’t be genuinely happy overall if there are people I’m hurting and-“

“Oh so you’d rather hurt me, is that it?” Mingyu deadpanned, “Cause surely it’s better to satisfy the fans and your family and my management at my cost. Right?”

“MINGYU, NO. It’s not like that. If there was a way that I could make everyone happy, especially you, then I would! But no matter how happy we will be with each other, we’ll still get hurt. We won’t truly be happy if we keep things in secret and keep sneaking away. It’s going to ruin us, Gyu. Your management will keep making it hard for you, my family won’t let you see me, we’ll have trolls hating on us every single day. We can only keep trying but if no one is going to support us, it will all be in vain.” You sobbed as you watched Mingyu’s shoulders slump in defeat, no words left to argue back.

He hated how right you were, how rational you still were despite this overflow of emotions. When your relationship started, you both knew just how many “rules” you were breaking but god, you both were just so in love and smitten with each other that you both just had give it a try. You both latched on to the hope that things would be okay. But hope has always been a dangerous thing, especially when it’s your only weapon in a battle you can’t win.

As you searched for any reaction from the boy in front of you, your most dreaded sight came to life: a tear rolling down Mingyu’s cheek. You immediately wiped it away with your thumb before forcing him to look at you. His eyes were now red and the frown on his face was making itself permanent.

"This is the hardest decision I've ever had to make, Gyu." You cried, "But I don't want it to reach a point where I have to choose between you or my family, or worse, to have you choose between me or your career. You've worked so hard to live your dreams and I'm not going to let you throw it all away for me"

“Is there no other way?” Mingyu sniffed, voice barely above a whisper as both his hands cupped your face

“I wish there was, my love. I wish there was.” You said as you wrapped him in a tight embrace. This time, really holding him tightly knowing it would be the last. “I’m sorry I have to do this but it’s for us. You deserve someone you can proudly show off to the world, Gyu.”

Bullshit, Mingyu thought. You are the girl he should be proudly showing off, if he was just allowed to.

The act of letting Mingyu go was like that of a knife stabbed into your heart only to be twisted a few more times for assurance. You were very much a blubbering mess. “I just hope whoever she is.. sh-she'll love you with allshe's got, a-and won't break your heart like- I am"

Mingyu’s grip around your waist had tightened, if that was even still possible. He buried his face on the crook of you neck and took in all of you, the woman he loved the most, the woman he never wanted to let go of but had to.

“I love you, Gyu. I love you so much” you sobbed hard, body convulsing as you let go of all the pent up feelings

“I love you too baby. I’ll never stop loving you.” Mingyu cried out, your heart breaking into the smallest pieces you knew could never be put back together again

In one quick move, Mingyu attached his lips to yours for the last time, a kiss so sweet yet so sad. You memorised how his lips moved against yours. You wanted to hold on for forever so bad. He was your happiness after all, your safe space, your home.

You both breathlessly pulled apart, tears never ceasing to run down your faces. Wiping your face, you quickly stood up and made your way to the door, wishing so desperately for the pain to be quick and easy.

“Please don’t go” Mingyu’s voice shook in a desperate sob when he caught you by the arm, in a last attempt to keep you by his side. You shut your eyes as your lips trembled. You did not want him to beg like this because it made everything a hundred times more difficult.

“Please baby.... just.. just stay one more night” Mingyu asked, a most desperate frown plastered on his face. With every tear that fell down his cheek, you felt your resolve break more

You turned to face him quickly for one more embrace while he planted a kiss on your forehead. You knew you had to go because staying a second longer would cause you to completely falter. With tears in your eyes, you gave him a tight squeeze and squirmed away from his grip, pushing him back.

“I’m sorry, Gyu” you said painfully, scurrying out his door with the tightest feeling in your chest. If you didn’t just know what you did, you would’ve suspected you were having a heart attack.

Mingyu felt his stomach drop by his feet. He watched his whole world walk away from him and he couldn’t do anything about it. He wanted to run after you, to tell you ‘screw the world, let’s just run away and be alone’ but he knew that was impossible, not when the both of you were at the peak of your respective careers and he especially had the whole world watching his. He knew it had been unfair, and he knew you never would’ve done it unless there was no other way, but he also knew you were right. That it had to be done. But how was he supposed to fall in love with someone else if that someone wasn’t you?

[s-dei]

I wonder, how in your opinion did Illidan's and Khadgar's relationship started?

Hi anon!!! Thank you for askin, it will be fun to dive into my mind of 5 years ago and recall all the stuff :'D (It can go out of control…)

(IT DID went out of control, so I'm throwin it under the cut 😂) There may be typos or mistakes, haven't checked and lazy.

I think I should start with character's reasons to be interested in eachother. Like, beside from "we happened to be in the same place doing the same thing (fighting Legion)", a more specific moments from the both sides.

Khadgar's side: 1) He was glad to get one more ally who is really passionate to fight Legion. Of course, Legion was everyone's business at a moment, and there were a lot of powerful allies. And Illidan is well - pretty controversial person. But at this moment Khadgar was really exhausted, and still was questioning a lot his Guardian role (even if it was only nominal), and Illidan was realy personal with Legion. So he was mostly glad someone else wanted to take the main role (while there also were moments of regret xD)

2) That's a curious magic nerd Khadgar. And an ancient demon-elf. Of course he wants to ask something, even if he knows even more ancient creatures. While not using it himself, he would enjoy to listen about dark ways of magic or something.

3) Illidari. He was unsure at first, but in the end enjoyed 'babysitting' them. Even when Illidan is back, he still cares about them and asks if they need something, or just comes to chit-chat. He is also curious to know especially about the bond of Illidari and their Master, from the both sides.

Illidan's side: 1) That's a magic nerd Illidan (in other ways, but still here we are). And a human mage wielding a great power AND having mark of Sargeras left on his aura. Of course Illidan is curious about it. And he wants it - in a greedy demonic way he holds back, so he is just going with decent conversation.

2) Khadgar is an ally you better to team up with. Of course Illidan Stormrage is mighty and powerful, but he still lives in society 😂 Azeroth changed a lot since he went to Outland, the ruling power is different now. Illidan came back to life, but he's still a war criminal, and many ppl want him dead or in prison again. Of cooourse they need him to fight Legion, but if the war is over succesfully, who will speak for him and Illidari? Oh, maybe it will be Khadgar, who is suddenly non-hostile (while he have all the rights to be after Outland?) Let's keep it as an option. Illidari say too that he's really cool ally.

3) Some really far-fetched stuff, but Illidan pays attention to details. Back in the WotA he was trained by Rhonin and fought along Kur'talos Ravencrest, and so he makes a remark about Khadgar and his raven form. Even if Illidan chooses his way himself (tm), sometimes he still thinks about the promised Fate of his, and wonders if it is in a things repeating. (That's just me bringin all the lore bits to one pile, I love it. Khadgar also was in a Black Temple. Mind it)

Both sides: sharing the feeling of a "missed time". One literally spent hella majority of his life in isolation, and the other turned into oldman in his 17 (or 19? damn i always confuse those numbers). I think it works kinda equal for them, and they went "oooh, you understand?"

Events

Sooo in my vision, Khadgar already had some opinion about Illidan and things to ask him, and Illidan was fine with speaking to him aside from Illidari to know more about events happened in the world. I think before Brokenshore campaign started, they had a few personal and group meetings, and found out that they share something in common while having different tempers.

When the campaign began, things went… complicated xD They started to find out their differences, and always were loud discussing it and their disagreement. Sometimes they started with disagreement and finished with agreement, keeping it with a passive agression :Д Were they mad? They had fun! Mostly. I think both enjoyed a 'look i'm having a dispute with this important dude'

But besides from discussing strategy and other serious stuff, they still had a moments of discussions of magic and past events (unless they were too personal). Khadgar shared stuff with him, from food and drinks to artifacts and books, and enjoyed watching how Illidan interacts with it. Sometimes amazed. And often endeared. There was actions from Illidan's side as well, but he mostly did it via Illidari (not like he was ashamed, just really busy). And they mostly said "yeeeeah this is from Lord Illidan!"

Eventually Khadgar fell in love and WAS TERRIFIED. He spent a lot of time figuring out what he really feels. When he came to conclusion, he thought a lot if he should confess, coz it's fkin Illidan Stormrage. It felt so crazy, but Khadgar decided that his life is going crazy for a while, and he decided to try. I can see Khadgar as a person who isn't going love crazy right away. He feels something buzzing, a certain kind of interest, but it's not a "omg this is the one and only person in my life" untill they go mutual. He, of course, will be sad if Illidan rejects him, and it will take some time to recover, but he isn't going to keep it forever.

And so he decided to confess. He purposely have chosen a short peacefull moment before some big battle in case if the things go awkward or even bad, so they both have an excuse to leave.

Now coming back to Illidan and what he felt. Ngl he's a complicated char if you want to go thoughtful with him. But I think during this time he became a little sympathetic with Khadgar. Found him special in one ways and annoying in others, but def considered him and ally and maybe even a friend, while he wasn't going to admit it outloud.

Still, the confession made him baffled (even if he suspected it a bit). If it was someone else, he would just say "lol no" and leaved. But he was really curious about Khadgar's reasons and what the actual fuck. He couldn't say he felt something even similar to love, but also didn't went with just a "no". He said that Khadgar is probably mistaken, or just don't realize that he isn't the type to build a 'true lovestory' with and live happily ever after. He is a demon and his passion is already going on hating Legion, so don't you expect a romantic fairytale. Khadgar said that he pretty aware of all of this, he isn't going to fix Illidan, or cure his scars, or bring him into typical lovey-dovey routine. "How about we just find our own way?"

You see, Illidan says "yes" in any case, but I can see it going in different ways: - First is a direct "yes", but not in a "i want to be with you" way. It's a "You know what, I will be with you, and I'm curious how you gonna handle it". Being baffled at first, he is now going into offence and declares "If you want a challenge, I'm giving it to you". Not love - a challenge. The challenge isn't about Illidan being a demon/ancient/edgy person. It's about the fact Illidan knows zero shit about romance and he's goin to explore it and experiment af (of course he didn't said it literally, but he implied). He is going to be unbearable. And he enjoys how Khadgar reacts - confused and happy and non-believing and terrified. He's goin to love it. - Second is Illidan taking a time to think, and they talk once more after the battle was over. This conversation is more calm, more intimate and Illidan lets Khadgar close to try and see how he feels about it. They speak about some personal stuff, and while Illidan didn't said it directly, he implied he don't mind to try (yet warns that it still won't be a lovey-dovey stuff). (ngl, their moment of confession is so hard, I tried to write it 5 times with different words, so I will never come to a single solution)

Illidan promised no lovey-dovey, but he found out he enjoys it actually 😌👌

I think I have some more stuff to say, but this post already went WILD. IDK, feel free to ask more direct questions or somethin :)

[greenishghostey]

Uh huh…

Summary - Eddie has a habit of saying "uh huh" while inside you. He always was one for flattery and praise.

Warnings - 18+ MDNI, smut, fluff, all the good stuff, switch!Eddie, penetrative sex, reader taking charge, dirty talk, pet names (sweetheart, babe, sweet pea).

Author’s Note - I’ve realised I can only write established relationship smut because I need this dork to say “I love you” at least once. DO NOT REPOST OR EDIT MY WORK

///

Eddie always needs to be making some form of sound during sex. It’s more of an impulse rather than a voluntary response. The skin slapping, squelching and cries from you are incredible but he needs to voice how much he’s having his world rocked.

He quickly developed the habit of saying “uh huh” during sex - regardless of setting, position or volume.

-

His hips are slamming into you from behind while his hands knead the swell of your ass. Your upper body is slumped onto his bed, face pressed into a lumpy, squishy pillow.

The arch of your body means his cock is hitting your g-spot and you swear you feel your eyes roll back into your skull. He’s just so good. So good to you in every way. A sharp smack stings your ass cheek, followed by a soft massage. The throb of your walls has Eddie huffing out a laugh.

“I felt thaaaat, sweetheart. God, you’re fuckin’ drenched. Uh huh, keep being my gooood girl. ” He teased, continuing to spank and massage you.

“Ed-Eddie, Eddie,” you groaned, it was like his name was the only word you could remember. The squelch from you cunt was getting louder the harder Eddie drove his hips into you. He was panting and grunting curse words above you. Losing himself almost as quickly you lost yourself.

He had gotten so good at telling when you were close. The pulse of puffy walls and your knuckles turning white from gripping his sheets were evidence enough. So, he stopped pounding into you and started grinding his hips in slow, torturous circles.

“You close, babe? Uh huh? Fuuuck,” He sighed, the blissful smile on his face came through in his voice. As always, Eddie soon reached the point of being sweaty and near delirious from how long he was dragging out his release. You’d soaked his cock twice now and he needed it one more time.

“Uh huh, uh huh, yeah, shit,” he rambled, alternating between rough, uneven thrusting and impossibly deep grinds, “uh huh, sweetheart, I wanna cum with you so fuckin’ bad, uh huh,”

Uh huh. Uh huh. That phase and the feeling of you cumming on his swollen cock again was all he knew. His vision blurred as he buried himself as deep as he could in you, spilling into the condom and release a howl of a moan.

-

You were riding Eddie while he was in the driver’s seat of his van. Bouncing on his thick cock with an erratic pace. Eddie was helping to stabilise you with his hands digging into the fat of your thighs. Your moans were enthusiastic and giggly, while his were desperate and gorgeous.

“Aw, did my pretty boy dream about this?” You giggled, starting to circle your hips, “Me. Fucking myself on you in the van?” Christ, you were so wet and he felt incredible.

“Uh huh,” Eddie whined, his head slammed back into the headrest. Your cunt was making his cock sticky and so warm, it felt like heaven and he was privileged enough to experience it.

You pressed your mouth to his in a wet, deep kiss. He chased your tongue as it slid into his willing mouth. Your hands knotted into his shaggy hair, thugged and he groaned like a man possessed.

Eddie pulled away from the kiss to press his sweaty forehead to yours. “You feel so fucking good, Eds. So pretty and so big.”

“Uh huh, I’m good, I’m a good boy, uh huh.” Eddie panted, desperate to cum in you and eating up the praise you loved to shower him with. It had become a sec tradition of sorts for him to compliment himself as well as you.

Hearing his sighs of “uh huh” had you ravenous for both your release and his. The slap your cunt meeting his cock was addictive and you started to grind your clit into him.

The bounce. The grind. The beautiful whines, “uh huh, fuck, baby, love you. Uh huh, please cum with me. Please. Please. Make a mess on my dick. Please.” It was all consuming and your cunt greedily sucked on his cock until he came with a wail.

-

“Uh huuuuh, you take me so well, sweetheart.” Eddie sighed, sliding his cock into you slowly. He held you so close and moaned onto your lips as he settled inside your warm cunt.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and panted against his wet full lips. The slow stretch of her puffy walls was so intimate and made your heart swell.

“Eds, oh my god,” He shifted and reached even deeper inside you. Both of you relishing in the gushes of your cunt. He didn’t move inside. Eddie buried his face in your neck while you massaged his scalp.

The raw feeling of making love was still quite fresh, but seeing Eddie’s eyes sparkle up at you was unmatched.

“My lady all loved up and happy? Uh huh?” Eddie giggled, a goofy smile on his sweaty face. God, he was just too pretty, it made you want to cry sometimes.

“Mhmm, she’s very happy. How you doing, sweet pea?”

“Sweet pea? That’s new,” He started to move then, the new pet name was really doing it for him. It was sweeter than he felt he deserved but it made him want to show you just how much he loved you. His sweet pea.

The evening continued with laughs, gasps, moans and an outpouring of intimacy that neither of you were used to but welcomed.

Words weren’t needed as Eddie thrust into you slowly, making sure treat you like the treasure you were. Words weren’t needed but that didn’t stop Eddie’s mumbling and groans of “uh huh”. He was a stickler for praise and flattery, after all.

[oddballwriter]

Roll for Stealth with Advantage

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Summary: Steven knew that you had to do something while you waited for him to come home from work other than do some chores and cook dinner. He just didn't know exactly what one of those things was until today.  

Warnings: This isn't a content warning this is a genuine warning to y'all if I see any talk of Stranger Things or someone references it you WILL be blocked. /hj

Author’s Snip: I know that I was holding out for the poll to end on which idea I should do but this thought hit me like when a vision hits Raven from That's So Raven so I needed to write it. I needed to write this for the dorks here who play because this is perfect. This pair up is perfect.

Notes: Steven is a tour guide in this because he deserves it. <3

Word count: 950 

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Steven was usually gone for a good part of the day for work. Which of course wasn't an issue because you had your own work and manage to keep yourself amused till he got home. But Steven didn't actually know what you did all day since you'd be home long before he would. It's not like it mattered though. You'd always be there and have everything like dinner ready once he got home, but if he had to say what you did, then that he wouldn't have anything.

Work was short today. The museum was rented out for the day by the nearby schools for a big field trip. Although they weren't there from beginning to end of the usual work day, they had taken over enough of it to make opening it up to the rest of the public a bit pointless since the hours it would land on were the slow hours. So the museum was closed for the rest of that day and the staff could take a breather from having to deal with a hoard of children, not that Steven was complaining since he was a tour guide at this one and was great with kids to begin with.

Though he did forget that the field trip day was today and wasn't able to give yo a heads up that he'd be home so soon.

As he unlocks the door and steps inside he gets ready to greet you, only for him to not see you on the couch but rather at his cluttered desk looking at your laptop. It sounded like you were on a video call and he feared that you were having some type of business meeting.

Though if your casual sweatpants and silly graphic t-shirt didn't give it away that you, in fact, were not up to important business for work, you loudly saying "Oh yeah! Let's just threaten to stab the vampire lord who already does not like us!" did the trick.

Some voices were heard through your laptop's speaker before you speak again. "No! No! If the Dracula wanna-be incel takes you up on your threat I'm not helping your character. I don't care if I'm the 'party healer'." you laugh, "You came into his castle-" you say before bursting into laugher again with the rest of the people on the call. To which an other voice is faintly heard saying in a shitty deep voice "You come into my cursed land, hide the innocent woman that I'm being creepy towards, and come into my castle and threaten me with a little sword.". The laughing continues with all of you, even pulling a snort out of you which just made you laugh harder. All the while Steven is stood at the door just observing your shenanigans with a confused yet amused face.

You managed to wheeze "Okay. Everyone shut up. My sides hurt." through your laughter and wipe tears from your eyes. Through some chance you glance up to where Steven is and go from easing your laughter to letting out a scream from being startled. You place a hand on your chest and let out "Oh my god! You scared the shit out of me." while looking at him. You ignore your companions asking what's wrong and ask Steven "Why are you standing there? What time is it." as you try and check the time.

"I just came in. Work was over early and I forgot to tell you. I'm sorry." Steven apologized raising his hands up slightly to add onto the sorry. "What are you doing?" he asked, finally setting down his bag.

"I'm playing DnD with some friends." you laugh. "D and D?" Steven questions as he shakes off his coat. "That game where you throw the dice around?" he asks, to which you nod. "Well, it's more than just throwing dice around, but yeah." you mention.

"Like threatening to stab vampire lords?" he asks in a semi-joking manner. "If you're dumb enough, yeah." you respond in the same manner.

Steven walks up towards the desk to get a look at what exactly your doing, "Is this what you do all day while you wait for me to come home?" Steven questions again. "Not every day. Just on this day of the week and for a few hours." you answer.

"So are you just not gonna tell us who that is or...?" a voice pipes up through the computer. "He's my boyfriend, Ronnie." you remark back towards your screen. "Okay? Is he gonna watch us play?" the man on one of the other ends says. "You want my boyfriend to see your character have to do a death save throw?" you reply in a snarky tone before giving Steven a peck on the lips like you normally do when he comes home. "I told you. I'm not going to heal you. I don't waste spell slots on stupidity." you say as you get comfy in the desk chair.

"Can Trixie look at him and says"Don't mind him, please, he's always like that. He knows not what he says." ?" a girl says in the call, to which another says "Roll persuasion." and a number is said by the previous girl, and the other nods.

"I usually cook dinner after the session so sit tight for a while." you whisper to Steven. Steven nods and whispers back "That's alright. I can watch you do this till then if that's okay with you and your mates. This looks entertaining." he whispers back. You nod and turn back to your screen. "Okay, let's continue on with the actual game." you announce. "My boyfriend's gonna watch for a little so behave." you add.

To which someone says "Yay! Conversion!".

[sunghanne]

STAR RACER － ENHYPEN GREASE AU SERIES | PART 4 🚦

racer!enhypen & flaggirl!reader

PARTS: PROLOGUE, PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 5, coming soon...

TITLE: ST★R-RACER : PART 4. THE RUMBLE.

feat. ENHYPEN, TXT, STRAY KIDS?!

PLOT: in a small town during the 1950s, seems the only thing keeping careless teenagers entertained are drag races where only the elite participate. and those elite are known as star racers.

WARNINGS: ooc idols, sexual innuendos, light sexual content, strong language, violence, mild slutshaming, illegal acts, cat calling, sleezy teenagers, tba...

TAGLIST: @lalalalawon , @strvlveera , @kjrcrz comment your @/user to be added!

WORD-COUNT: 10.0k

NOTE: im so sorry this part took so long to write. i burn out easily and ideas were not filling my head. this is my first big series so it is a bit difficult to amount to the number of words each chapter has. but thank you for waiting and i hope you enjoy this long special! i apologise for any typos, its hard to proof read at the moment. likes, reposts and comments are all heavily appreciated, thank you.

your attention has placed the road ahead of you, memorising the familiar landscape as the one you drove past in the evening with yeonjun. from the asphalt road to the street lamps and to the traffic lights, everything was much brighter and clearer this time around. likely due to your vision not being clouded by the raven night sky, or perhaps the regret and guilt tainting your perception of your surroundings that unforgettable night.

"well, i'm not worried. he can have a cow, won't change the fact his turf's in a rut too," you calmly replied while adjusting the collar of your white short-sleeved blouse. a light grin on jake's face humoured your determined attitude, bright eyes laying on your reflection from the rearview mirror.

"you kill me sometimes," your male counterpart complimented before refocusing his attention on the next corner he swerved past. you beamed at his sweet comment, gulping your real intentions down your dry throat. in reality, you were worried. about yeonjun, about going to an unfamiliar school, about heeseung.

definition:'kill'. > to impress.

to even consider the plan of attempting to pact with the clique from the other side of the town meant you were desperate. you yearned to snatch jake's steering wheel and go back the way you came from because an uneasy bundle in your stomach untangled and started to reach every vessel in your body. you thought the pressure of the rumble would ease overnight but instead, it got worse.

someone could end up in the hospital, even inadequately considering the possibility of ending up outnumbered due to the uncertain chance of recruiting yeonjun's crew. so even though you hated it, you had to get the boy on your side, for your friends' sake.

last night's image of riki's untamed berating and thrashing out of sunghoon and jake's grasp was hard to shake off he had never gotten so worked up about another person before. you didn't want to see him in that state again.

the number of stores on the street gradually decreased, replaced by dense trees and bramble bushes, a sign you were nearing the school. "what a load of nerds," jake poked fun at herds of students clad in blazers, jerseys, plaid patterned pants and skirts and the tall rhubarb brick building fenced by tall black metal fencing. it was like some impenetrable fortress with a long moat surrounding it, except it wasn't. it was simply unlike your school. your school was the complete opposite with nothing more but a twisty metal fence surrounding it. students would occasionally hop over the fences just to go get better lunch food or skip unwanted classes, you included.

your eyebrows gradually lifted at the realisation that you hadn't even tackled the first crisis yet, the overbearing fence, "crap," your curse placed under your breath while jake steered into the disbursed car park and came to a gentle halt, not eager to bring unsolicited attention to your arrival. he made sure to park behind a wide tree that's long branches with lax leaves that almost reached the roots on his head.

he quietly wolf-whistled at the amusing sight, taking in the complication you already situated yourself with. you reluctantly revolved your head towards the male beside you in slow motion to find his gaze. and with a suspecting smirk on his face, he inquired you about his nifty scheme.

his hurried hands grasped his elbows as he held his folded forearms in front of him, crouching in an uncomfortable position with knees pressed into the hard pavement.

the corners of your mouth spread outwards as your molars clamped down on one another, too focused on aiming the sole of your shoe on jake's makeshift stepping stool to notice the strain on your jaw.

he huffed out upon your weight's arrival, his arms wavering for a split second before he jolted the platform made with his arms up into the air. you took the sudden elevation as a chance to hold on to the cold metal railings of the fence, concentrating as your wide skirt bunched in the air. with a rigid rattle, you regulated your balance as jake's arms steadied you on top of him.

a gasp of relief vacated your chest as your clenched jaw could relax as your successful stepping stool plan worked. "s'nice view," jake's crude comment blasted below your lengthy skirt and your wide eyes bolted to the male whose head was tilted upwards for anything but the sky. there was only one place his eyes landed upon.

"cut the gas, sim!" you screeched loudly and intentionally kicked the white tip of your sneaker in the male's susceptible nose. he yelped out in pain, eyes squeezing shut while his arms awfully loosened. a mean laugh left your lips in satisfaction while taking the distorted balance as an opportunity to release your foot off of his platform and onto the top of the horizontal railing slab. then, you applied all your weight on the singular foot and extended the rest of your body upwards and over the fence. yet, your landing wasn't as straightforward as the journey over it and you ended up with one of your knees shoved into the damp grass of the school campus.

your partner in crime was rubbing his throbbing red nose after your hostile jab at it, despite him knowingly deserving it. one of his brown eyes opened to peek at your safe drop on the other side of the fence, "sorry. 45 minutes, y/n. js'call out for me if you need," he called out while the hem of your skirt returned around your knees after the velocity of the drop concluded. you were hunched over, a hand dusting your dirt-stamped kneecap that had follicles of grass glued to it.

"i know. don't think i'll need the help of a little boy who can't keep his eyes out of the gutter," you mocked his ogling and spun on your heel away from the car park and the familiar individual with it. jake, the boy who couldn't stand being crowded by girls, confidently announcing the esteem of seeing up your skirt was a bold move. little does he know the minor injury to his nose would be met tenfold by the time you bust out of this unfamiliar school.

45 minutes. all the time you had at your disposal. 45 minutes was the duration of lunch and you needed to be in and out of yeonjun's school as quickly as you could. of course, some constraints were weighing you down other than the time frame. and that was yeonjun's compliance.

it was safe to assume the male you threw a drink at two weeks ago would most likely refuse your proposition. neither did you know the layout of the school and whether the teachers on guard would kick you out upon your arrival. so you had to be equally alert.

you strode forward towards the towering building with the large cross logo built in the middle, a slight increase in heartbeat by the countless pairs of eyes locked onto your unknown self. you could only pray that no tattle tail would report on the girl who just leapt over the fences, breaking precisely why they were implemented. it was lunchtime at this school as well and cliques separated from one another sitting on the field or at lunch tables made you realise just how difficult carrying out this secretive mission of yours would be.

by secretive, only you and jake knew of it. hence the reason he was chauffeuring you to the other side of town and missing out on whatever lunch menu was on at your cafeteria. quite the feat, you thought.

after passing a few outdoor pillars by the side of the main building, you found the lunch block that remained outdoors. girls with rolled-up plaid skirts sat on the collection of bleachers by the soccer pitch in the distance to your right side, indulging in minuscule amounts of cafeteria lunches and the meals running across the soccer field. a mixed handful of preps sat along benches and or on the concrete-covered floors under the shade of the freshly painted veranda to your left. yet, from both ears you could hear the endless pour of gossip about your appearance surface. "that's the chick that went home with choi a couple'a nights back."

your focus on the defaming vocal of opinions suddenly terminated when a large, warm hand on your shoulder cuffed itself around you. your shaken eyes found themselves settled on a face you could put to a name. soobin. "aren't you lost, choi?" his deep voice questioned and a small curl of his lip caught your attention, face inches apart from yours. the hunch in his back signalled he was leaning over your head to meet your eyes from behind. you were speechless, not expecting a target to reveal themselves so easily.

the tall male raised an eyebrow in curiosity at your brief quiet demeanour, standing upright. only at that moment did you realise how much the male towered over you and it caused you to blink profusely out of intimidation. he wore a grey blazer with his school's emblem on it in contrast to the heavy dark jacket he was wearing at the race tracks. you licked your dry pink lips and swiped his hand off your shoulder discretely, "reason you callin' me choi?" you questioned lowly while he towed his hand to his side, shaking it off like it were wet.

"well, you are yeonjun's missus. ain'tcha?" he chirped while his lips protruded outwards and his cheeks huffed meanwhile. your eyebrows dipped low and a side of your lips lifted in a sneer like you'd stepped in rubbish. to even think of the said male as a spouse sounded like a nightmare. yeonjun must have been spreading misinformation around his turf, and a side task was unexpectedly placed upon you.

to prove him wrong.

"that's not true. i think i'd much rather be called my name," you seethed tediously with squinted eyes directly align with the male. he cocked his head to the side in wonder, trying to piece together whether you were joking or not.

"it's not? he was tellin' people you're round heels," he began to chuckle lightly and your hands balled tightly into fists. your yeonjun accusation stood correct. a flare of embarrassment sparked on your face in a blaze at such wording used on you. you groaned in irritation at such cunning stirs and trudged forward, bumping into soobin deliberately to tilt him backwards.

definition:'round heels'. > an easy girl, heels rounded for easy tipping onto a bed.

he staggered for a brief moment before regaining his balance and following behind your careless actions, half amused and half confused. "oh, choi is dead meat," you grumbled while stomping your feet into the lavish grass and heading towards the veranda. meeting numerous gazes of students who sat underneath it, you pondered why they were so judgemental. at first, you thought it was because of yeonjun's rumours, but when your head craned behind, you realised it was because of soobin trailing inches apart from you. it was so unsettling the shift in appearances of the boy who was once chasing after you and sunghoon on a friday night.

soobin was a renowned racer and the students either loved him or hated him, no in between. it wasn't hard to miss the only individual sporting black leather threads and tight blue denim amongst a crowd that didn't. it made you wonder how he even got into such a school in the first place. maybe his parents were filthy rich and threw him into such a populace with the intent to 'right his wrongs'. then they probably explained to the headmaster that 'he's just a boy, he doesn't know any better' when he set the science lab on fire, or something.

nonetheless, his reoccurrence made a palm slap against your face in annoyance, dragging your hand down in disarray, "if you're here to court me, hit the road," you complained while turning around for a brief moment and he shone a crooked smile at your notice of his presence.

"why, but you're a firecracker to tease," he jabbed while quickening the pace of his long legs and catching up to you, now side by side. your angry hands pressed onto the male's chest, trying to shove him away only for the male to lean all of his weight atop of you. the heavy force had your steps reversing and reluctantly, you backed against a hard brick wall. you grit your teeth anxiously, eyes glaring into his as the top of his head was against the vacant wall space above yours. "settle, doll face. if you wanted to get your hands on me so bad y'could've just asked."

his shower of flirts repulsed you and your head turned away at such compact contact, hands still driven against his chest as his torso didn't budge even when you started to hook your nails into it.

by the intimate distance, his cologne almost suffocated you, whisked with the scent of tobacco. his bold actions made your head spin and worst of all, everyone's eyes were on you. your hot face combusted with his warm breath, like waving a fan in front of flames.

"get off of me, rag!" you argued with an increase of pressure you placed on him. the corner of his lips cocked upwards and you eventually broke through his overbearing cave. you staggered forward drunkenly, feet pivoting away from the male as he toppled backwards for a split second. you briskly padded away, slapping two of your palms over your soiled burning cheeks.

"he was lyin', clearly," soobin chuckled breathlessly while resuming his follow on your whereabouts. honestly, if he pulled that trick on any other girl you were certain he'd be rejected just the same.

"lay off. if you're not going to help me find choi then you can waste someone elses," you retaliated and pressed the crease out of your white skirt. you hated that his cologne was now rubbed off of you and the scent didn't leave even after you shook out every article of your clothing like you were dusting them off.

"whats the occasion?" he questioned and licked his lips out of habit, loud footsteps echoing yours and acting all innocent like he wasn't pulling that stunt a minute ago, "i can."

"get on with it," you ordered through an eye-roll and endured the painful trip towards yeonjun's whereabouts. the sunlight appeared and disappeared on soobin's face as pillars blocked fragments of light each time you passed one, "i'll tell you when we find the guy."

"if it's another necking, i'd be more than happy to offer my services," he teased and swayed his body closer to yours, almost causing you to crash right into him. you cursed under your breath and pushed the boy away aggressively. you were starting to reconsider whether the problem with your plan was soobin's irritating antics or yeonjun.

definition:'necking'. > make out.

"another? we never did. in fact, he hadn't even laid a hand on me before he was pullin' out," you lied thickly but you didn't care. if it were an opportunity to humiliate the male, you didn't need to be asked twice. soobin's head was thrown back as a chain of laughs sprouted out of him at the correction.

"no snow job," the male teased while shaking his head after his high of laughter disbursed. the edge of the concrete veranda was nearing and soobin took the initiative to pass a corner, leading you towards an area that was much more secluded with taller brick walls. you were a little proud of your fake tales, even more at the reaction of the other male who didn't doubt it one bit. to be honest, you were over the whole situation. the bad date, the manipulative language used on you and the oil spill on heeseung.

well, partly over that last part. but with other concerns shadowing it, it was forced to the back of your cluttered mind. similar to the oversized blazer thrown around your sides and forced over your arms a moment ago. your arms weighed heavily at the large article of clothing and you cluelessly stared at soobin as he held your shoulders gently, only the tips of his fingers against you.

"lid on," he shushed you carefully and lead you in the correct direction, his head only focused on the individual walking past. an old lady, likely in her late 50s, wore sleek red glasses pressed to her face and a tight, knee-length pencil skirt that made her strut look funny. a teacher, a very intimidating looking one at that. she had a returning stern gaze over soobin and her wrinkly lipstick-chapped lips pursed in dismay. your shoulders were hunched like a box, from the tension in the air, or perhaps the heavy jacket over the top of you.

you weren't looking at the teacher, but when her echoing footsteps lowered in volume, you let out a sigh of relief from your chest, shoulders relaxing. the male took his hands off the top of your shoulder blades and left his warm blazer around you, only looking down at you with his dark irises.

"what was that for?" you questioned with a low whisper as if the teacher had super hearing and would've heard you if your voice was amplified another decimal. while adjusting his lengthy grey blazer around you comfortably, soobin shone a quick grin and rubbed an index finger along his smooth philtrum.

"disguise. that broad is the principal. if you weren't in uniform she'dve rocked you," he answered while playing with the hem of the white t-shirt he now resided in. your head tilted at his quick wits and perhaps you'd taken him lesser than he first ought to be.

"well, gentleman," you chirped and the boy licked his lips at the nickname, eyes shaped like crescents merrily. the walk resumed without anymore hindrance, only small talk between you and the tall boy who happened to let down his guard. finally, you came in contact with two large wooden doors at the end of the hallway. you bit on your lip, head checking up to soobin's for a split moment for confirmation. and by the light nod of his head, you padded forward and pushed the pair of doors open with two spread arms.

bright white headlights flashed in the dark ambience and heeseung's hand propped in front of his eyes to shield them from the blinding clash. he was sitting on the alleyway ground, forearms draped over his knees and his fond jacket across his spacious lap.

the bright light illuminated the entire alleyway and heeseung could see from his peripherals just how easily his position was given away by the brick walls of the alleyway lighted. alerted, he peeked through the gaps of his long fingers and cursed out at the reckless decision the other boy made to keep the headlights of his ride turned on. although, that angered fire in him snuffed out when his gaze landed on the longing face of his friend, jay.

the appearance of the younger boy was like a flashback to heeseung. it had been so long with zero contact with one another, it could've easily been another one of his daydreams. but, jay heeded to his call like the loyal service he was.

heeseung stood up straight as the engine of the car halted and the light vibration of the vehicle froze, headlights clicking off like a tv pulled at the plug. he dusted himself off, carefully padding towards the suspecting vehicle and walking along the exterior to the passenger's seat, taking light steps on the coarse rubble foundation.

the silence in the air grew as he opened the passenger seat and inclined his slim frame inside, settling on the vacant seat. no words were exchanged between him and the other male, only the turn of jay's head and the tilt of his sunglasses while he scanned heeseung's appearance like some judge.

"jay," heeseung greeted, nodding his head and keeping a straight face with a raspy voice. the male in question tilted his sunglasses up the bridge of his nose, a smug grin on his face.

"heeseung," he responded cooly, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly as if it were a normal interaction between the two. nonchalant before the aggressive tug on his shoulders yanked him forward into heeseung's warm embrace. jay's sunglasses tilted crookedly as his face smashed against heeseung's ear, returning the tight hug tenderly.

"you idiot! what's this get up? forgettin' your honorifics and wearin' sunglasses in the middle of the night?" a long, gleeful laugh left heeseung's throat. he hadn't laughed like this in ages. the strong hug came to an end as heeseung disengaged and scanned jay's awfully misplaced glasses. jay bit back a hearty smile, pleased his little gag with sunglasses made the other laugh. he ran his long fingers through his black locks and whisked his head back as though he were in a photo shoot.

"well, y'know. work," he replied, still piling onto the joke. heeseung shook his head, sweaty bangs glued to his forehead after his eventful night of running from the fuzz. jay flicked his sunglasses above his hairline, not being able to see anything in the dark with them on anyway. now able to see clearly, he didn't miss the mass amounts of cash splayed all over heeseung's dirty coveralls, "dude?"

heeseung's orbs traced jay's gaze and peered down at his own body, realising the male was flabbergasted at more than just his arrival. he bit back a proud grin and dug a dirty hand into his side pockets only to return with a handful of papers between his clutches, "dude," he replied and jay's raised eyebrows lowered to a normal slate, realising heeseung's act was true.

"the fuck did i miss?" his counterpart questioned as me of his palms pressed against his sweaty forehead, colliding with his tilted sunglasses unintentionally.

the older male returned the cash to it's rightful place in his pocket and kept that same smile splayed across his cheeks, "robbed this old man's register when he wasn't lookin'. don't worry, i kicked the bucket right after," his remark held no remorse for his criminal act and instead acted as if he were bragging.

a half scoff half laugh left jay's lips and he looked off the to side like heeseung had spoken a terrible joke, "y'crazy, hyung," he remarked whilst a hand kept itself on his leather steering wheel. the elder began to undo the upper clasped buttons of his coveralls and slid the thick navy material off his shoulders, typing the sleeves across his waist in a bulbous knot. he returned his beloved race jacket around him and leaned forward with a finger playing with the sweaty black strands of his hair whilst scanning himself in the rear view mirror.

jay was watching silently, amused by the sudden interest of appearances, "gonna need more than a pampering, y'stinkin' up my chariot. who y'trying to impress anyway?" he questioned next.

"...nobody in particular, park," heeseung cheesed with a flashy reply, adding the finishing touches to his hair and sitting back in his car seat with a satisfied nod.

"not fallin' for that snow job," the other retorted whilst continuing to view heeseung's conflicting mannerisms, "'ts y/n, ain't it?"

there was a cascade of silence that laid the car, only the sound of cars driving meters from the alleyway entrance roaring past. until jay opened his mouth once more, "she'd been down in the dumps since you left," his dark eyes faced forward, tracing the terracotta brick wall heeseung once leaned upon previously, "everybody. jungwon, sunoo, hoon, jake, riki 'nd y/n. we all been bugged. just constant losses-i mean did you know that kid sunoo dropped outta school 'cause he lost a bet on your last race?"

jay's calm tangent caused heeseung's eyebrows to raise slightly. he knew there would be consequences to his careless disappearance, but nothing of this calibre. heeseung wasn't a dickhead like the other greasers you'd categorise him with. he was the eldest of the clique and brought a sense of meaning to that label with reason. and, he definitely knew when he should be held accountable for up and leaving as though that selected group meant nothing to him but a mere memory.

jay's vent furthered, "guess that saying that goes 'you never know what y'got 'til its gone' is true," his vision returned to his eldest and the black haired disheveled individual had his brows real upturned this time, mouth parted slightly in surprise at the sincerity of his pride smitten companion. the boy in question was flustered at the non-responsive behaviour of heeseung and cleared his throat while looking off to the side.

lee simply shook his head, placing a hand on the awkward male and nodded in acknowledgment, "yeah, man. guess i got a few apologies to make," he answered whilst lifting a palm off his friend and instead returning them to his jacket to fully zip it up as the cold night breeze bristled the hairs on his head.

jay tilted his head slightly forward in response, taking the cold wind as a sign that solidified that heeseung wouldn't be going anywhere anytime soon. now, there was only the future to look forward to-and a group of assholes to prove himself to. the car engine started once more and the automobile began to reverse from the dark alleyway.

a cold curious hand dug into the front pockets of his jacket, only to brush past a crisp wad of paper. heeseung brimmed with confusion for a brief moment as he lifted the paper out of his pocket and held it in front of his eyes. with a squint, he realised it was a collection of numbers written with pencil. heeseung's eyes narrowed further in suspicion, only one person had access to his clothing and he drew a straight line to the culprit.

"y'good?" jay asked to break the sudden silence and the other male immediately crumpled the paper between his fingers and flicked it behind him.

"yeah, keeno," lee nonchalantly responded while jay had fully backed out of the dim alleyway, only now waiting for several cars to pass so he had a clear entrance.

"i got a plan to get you outta juvi," the other appeased with an anticipating grin on his face. the loud screech of tires burned against the asphalt ground as jay forced himself to break a brigade of cars, earning a few ear-piercing honks from other drivers.

heeseung's head was turned towards the rear end of the car, an astonished smile on his face, "surprised y'haven't lost your license yet. shoot," he encouraged the other's question.

jay clicked his tongue at hee's snarky comment and drove towards the direction of a gas station that's bright neon sign was spotted miles away, "dyeing ya 'do," the dark haired male explained while his eyes flicked towards heeseung's raven locks.

the male in question reluctantly lifted a hand to palm the side of his hair, lips pursing in uncertainty, "fracture me, will you? there ain't no way in hell you're touching my hair," heeseung refused almost immediately.

definition:' fracture'. > amuse me.

"'ts either you sportin' a new color, or spending the rest'a senior year with the fuzz," jay reasoned while shaking his head in disapproval. personally, he thought his plan was well thought out and a good cover for his criminal of a friend.

"ain't that a bite, park. think they got ciggies in jail?" the other sighed out while repositioning himself in jay's vehicle, long legs outspread lazily whilst his torso pushed upwards so his head could stay upright.

"get with it, hyung! y'know how hard it's boutta be when you return to school with a felon on y'head?" jay continued while heeseung closed his eyes stubbornly.

"you watch too many damn flicks," he laughed out while jay hadn't changed direction towards the servo at all. it'd take a lot of convincing for heeseung to agree, but jay just couldn't let go of his marvellous idea. and yes, he'd suppose he watched too many movies.

right in front of you were none other but the pack of greasers leaning on bleachers with their thumbs flipped over of their pockets while their other four digits tucked into their skinny jeans. one individual, in particular with their back turned from you had a long hand pressed on the wall that a shorter girl leaned against. the familiar curls of his brunette hair were hard to discard from your memory, so much so that you hesitated to step any closer.

if it weren't for taehyun's quick tap of yeonjun's shoulder, the male would've never turned his head to notice your presence. at first, his foxy eyes were pried in surprise before they relaxed and a cocky smirk replaced his ajar mouth, "i knew you'd be back for more, cherry," he cooed and unhooked his hand from the wall pressed beside his female companion and stood up straight, smug look unwavering.

soobin left your side and travelled up the bleachers to meet his clique, long legs used to skip past two bleachers at a time. he exchanged a hand shake with yeonjun briefly, tugging in the male and dabbing his shoulder before pulling away and settling on the cold spot beside beomgyu. now, only you resided alone as a group of five looked down at you like a feeble insect.

"back for more? more of what?" you spat with raised eyebrows, almost holding back a fake laugh at his outpour if confidence like the night between you two had gone well.

"why, don't act coy. i know you miss me," yeonjun tutted while digging his hands into his pockets, shoulders relaxing as your expression crumbled in agony.

"oh get bent, choi. i'm not here to relive the terrors of friday night," you answered in determination, hands fisting the heavy blazer over your shoulder's you'd almost forgotten soobin left on you. the four other men murmured between each other, one of them patting yeonjun on the shoulder and causing him to stumble forwards slightly.

his calloused hand brushed off the previous spot the hand had touched him and he glared towards the boy in annoyance, "well then, clue me," yeonjun responded while his legs began to extend forward and step down each bleacher seat with a hop in his steps.

you inhaled sharply, watching as yeonjun proceeded to step unwarrantedly close to you with the tip of his shoes nearly budding into yours, "your turf's being threatened by those... stray animals from the next town over, y'know those ones?" you answered with a hesitation as you described the male group in question. yeonjun's lips pouted, an eyebrow crossing in confusion from your unreliable outpour.

"name 'em. i don't know who they are," he demanded while turning his head left so his ear protruded towards you closest. your teeth grit in irritation at his actions potentially mocking you and the sliver of power your position gave away. a girl, left alone in a school full of random people, in front of her sworn enemy.

"felix, hyunjin, chan, those lookers," your eyes decimated off to the side as you recalled a few of their aliases. the boy in front of you rubbed his chin in thought, still missing a few details.

"yeah, them freamers," yeonjun parroted before throwing his head back to repeat the message to his lackeys up on the bleachers. a couple of their faces screwed, a little complacent with their cooperation. you bit down on the insides of your mouth, kneading the soft flesh as a way to pass time as no straight answer was given from the other party.

"listen, uh, we lost star racer to them and since riki struck at them first, they wanna rumble with us," your anecdote retained uncertainty yet you wanted to persevere confidently.

two front teeth bit down on the right side of the boy's bottom lip, biting back an unconvinced smile, "that ankle-biter ought to have at it. well, what exactly would we get out of it?" yeonjun asked with a deliberate whining tone towards the end of his sentence.

"you kiddin'? we're stuck in the mud for your turf and you want something out of it?" you scoffed with narrowed eyes.

"do you's really need us?" his hands outstretched in front of him as his shoulders shrugged, faking unconvinced, "sounds like we should just let em' bash ya' and clean up the mess after."

your eyebrows creased for a split second, eyes strictly trained on your counterpart's imposing face, "your turf won't be lost, you get a good swing on those douchebags and..." your volume lowered while thinking of your next proposition. until yeonjun finished your suggestions for you.

"—how 'bout a proper date. a good one that might end with something else gettin' damp, i'd rather," his condescending voice stifled a laugh at his dirty innuendo. the pack on the bleachers seemed to mirror his reaction, yet they were encouraging.

"another fake out?" your face screwed while weighing the odds. did you really need these guys as backup? the chances of succeeding did increase if they were to defend their own turf. for pete's sake, was defending their own side of the town mean nothing if they didn't get a piece of you out of it? you knew bets never ended well, you knew very well.

but there was an undiscovered surge of eagerness that anticipated you.

yeonjun's head lifted and lowered slowly, nodding for you to continue. your tart fingers bore creases in the oversized jacket slung over your shoulders as you  finally responded, "no. see, i don't usually settle for sloppy seconds," you replied while your eyes peered behind his broad shoulder. specifically at the girl leaning against the brick wall with her arms crossed, burning holes into your frame by her stare.

the male whipped his around for a split second before turning back to you with a hand plastered on the back of his warm neck, "that broad's jus'ta rebound. we get comfy, don't we?" he attempted to convince yet this time with a softer voice, most likely lowered so the men behind him couldn't hear his pompous attempt to sway you.

"i am anything but comfy 'round you. y'know, its fine. we should just back outta this rumble and allow them to take your turf. you've already won, haven't you?" your eyes scaled upwards to the ceiling, checking off an imaginary list in your head, "you've got heeseung's car, you've got star racer, you've got my friends leaving one after another," an uninterested frown grew on your face as your hands outspread outwards in pretend surrender, "i don't see why we should hold onto our pride if someone's already fucked us over, really."

yeonjun's eyebrows raised while he listened to your lost hope, quite unsure of how to appear. his eyes travelled from your long skirt, to your tucked in blouse and even to the stilled palms on display, "so you finally wanna admit we're better than you's?"

"sure, choi," you replied unenthusiastically.

he swiped his tongue on his bottom lip in thought, knowing there were only two ways your encounter could go, "you pushin' the right buttons if thats your goal. but, what do y'mean your goons are leaving one after another?"

his question brought your eyebrows to skyrocket that he was even concerned with the status of your group. one of your palms pressed against your wrist, rubbing it uncomfortably as if there were a stain lingering against it, "...yea. heeseung's gone, jay's on a vacay, sunoo's dropped out. i know you don't care but i guess that's why we need your clique," your voice softened as you opened up to the boy for the first time.

yeonjun's head rotated around to face his group to view if they heard the same thing and there was a sinister smile plastered to his face as he faced you once again, "was wonderin' why i hadn't heard of lee in a while. i'd say too bad, but if that greaser was here you wouldn't be pleadin' to me."

the boy's apparition earned a tilt of your head, slightly confused by his wording, "you lay off. i wasn't pleading, just playing messenger," you argued back. suddenly you remembered the time frame you should have cohered to and flicked down to the boy's cuff of his jacket to see if he was wearing a watch, "what's the time?"

choi blinked a number of times before he brought his hand to run through his hair while bringing his wrist into view. he flicked his sleeve's cuff back while squinting his eyes, actually confining to your request without a fuss for the first time, "it's 1:20, dolly."

you mentally cursed while your feet paced back and forth for a second, only 10 minutes left of lunchtime and to be back at your side of town. there wasn't anymore time to talk so you grasped onto the oversized jacket around your shoulders before quickly spurting out, "it's tonight, same time and place as the races. if you don't show up, tell soobin to kiss his sweet jacket goodbye!" you skimmed through the details with a gleeful laugh leaving your lips.

ignoring the calls and requests behind you, you pivoted back towards the gymnasium doors and hurriedly shoved them apart to make way for your triumphant exit.

you had a clue that yeonjun's clique wouldn't back out of such a contest, especially after you had practically kissed their asses for participation. but regardless of how it occurred,

'snob high' was officially on your side.

the ruptured footsteps of heeseung's converses padded against the white floor of the gas station while his dark eyes analysed the shelving surrounding him. jay was leading him through the limited beauty section of the store, an anticipating smirk of mischief coating one side of his face to the other.

"tellin' ya, give it a chance," jay persuaded whilst one of his hands extended forward to pick up a box of hair dye, an extremely vibrant blue. the eldest boy's eyebrows furrowed, one side of his face hit by the cold toned lighting of the shop. his calloused hands dug into the blue coverall bottom pockets he retained in that's sleeves were still tied around his waist.

"freakin' blue? you tickle me, ha-ha-ha..." the pompous fake laughs excavated heeseung's lips like a robot, not swayed at all.

jay scoffed comically, pursing his lips together to puff the black tuffs of his fringe upwards and out of his eyes. the spikes lay flat back against his tan forehead while he returned the blue box dye and picked up a new one. this one having another vibrant colour and a hair model with the phoniest white smile hee had ever seen.

he slowly craned his head to heeseung who returned the dramatic head turn back before breaking out into an immediate head shake of refusal.

"it was me who picked y'up. do this as a reward to pay me back?" jay bargained with a low snicker.

heeseung didn't want to, of course. not with such a bizarre colour as that. if anything, he wanted to reach out and slam jay's idiotic face into the shelves and collapse every other hair dye box on display with him. but instead he sighed, eyes training on the front design as one of his hands slid down his chest and to a pocket of cash he'd tucked away.

"beat feet, 'fore i change my mind."

tonight was the night. the rumble. the dawning wind blew in your hair as sunghoon steered his roofless car in the direction of the race track. the breeze contorted your hair in all sorts of swiped arrays yet your face stayed stone-still. your eyebrows creased with a firm line shaping your lips. not even the loud roar of music from hoon's aux crossed your mind besides worry.

what if yeonjun and his squad were tellin' fibs just to get a rouse outta you. and if they did show up, theres no telling if all the other boy's would react kindly to their arrival either. you didn't exactly tell them your plan of inviting snob high affiliated other than jake.

it was the six of you, riki, jungwon, sunoo, sunghoon and jake all crammed inside sunghoon's five seater leading to riki being the one on the carpet flooring by your feet. he leaned his tall back against a car door, his neck hindered by the bottom cup holders on the door's inside.

he fought against it at first, of course, but sunghoon told him to suck it up or be left behind because he was clearly still in a bad mood from yesterday. you sat between jungwon and sunoo who were oddly silent while facing the nighttime scenery bleakly whipping past. the entire car ride was silent, all of you knowing the uprising tension to unfold moments ahead.

there it was. the loud bass of music coming from the dried dam's surface that the sloped concrete walls hid from eye view. sunghoon's dark eyes flicked to his rear view mirror for a split second before he veered forward on his pedal and down a slope to meet with the very source of sound. the enemies.

as the group of brute men unfolded in view as your ride came to a screeching halt that was overshadowed by the loud cooing and hoots of bangchan's clique.

"lookie 'ere!" one of their brash voices called out, earning a curdle of your nose in return.

your vision focused on felix who was leaning against the bright blue automobile with a cigarette between two fingers, only snapping out of your unintentional selected vision by the aggravated slams of car doors.

"c'mon y/n, hop out so i can get out too," riki ushered, the first time he'd spoken from the entire car ride. one of his hands placed itself on the driver seat's head, nails digging into the beige leather. you bit down on your bottom lip, clicking open the car door on your left and hopping out of the automobile.

riki followed suit, not leaving through the car door but instead manoeuvring himself in the air and jumping over the other closed side. everyone was already standing around hoon's car, glaring off the mugs across from them.

the tall blonde stood inches from sunghoon who was the closest to the 'stray boys'. clearly he wanted to display no fret the other side exuded since it was basically his fault this rumble was occurring in the first place. jeongin could tell immediately and silently stepped forward as well, his braces shining as his lips parted.

"if it isn't rik-dog, the candy ass," the brunette of the other side taunted, eyes shooting straight to riki who clenched his teeth immediately at the name call.

"and cookin', ain't i? train-tracks," riki ridiculed back, earning a quiet coo from sunoo who couldn't contain his satire encouragement and resulted in an elbow in his ribs by jungwon who knew it wasn't the time for such antics. your white sneakers tapped against the pavement as you situated yourself beside jake who was positioned behind the gap sunghoon and riki had between them.

definition:'cook' or 'cookin''. > doing it/well.

jeongin sputtered, brown eyes glancing towards your appearing figure instead. his gaze flicked up and down your frame before turning back at riki, "i see your classy chassis can still only clothe in her mother's clothes. she ain't been popped yet by you's, has she?" his uncalled insult targeted at you instantly drew a frown on riki's face.

his sick innuendo mixed with the unnecessary comment at your clad attire brought irritation in your veins. but honestly, you had only worn long skirts and blouses since heeseung went missing as well as refusing to be flag girl at race events simply because you weren't comfortable anymore. yet before he could respond, you did, "if we talking mother's i'd assume the only thing popped is your mother loaded before she had you."

definition:'loaded'. > drunk.

jeongin's braces disappeared after that, hiding behind a dropped smile as his lips curved downwards in an outraged pause. jake's giggle rumbled from his throat, unable to stifle it in time and attracted everyone's attention.

"something real funny, huh, sim?" one of the boy's you wouldn't be able to recognise questioned and jake lifted a hand to quickly cover his unserious smile that had arose.

"you lay off now. how 'bout we stop throwing insults and get started in the race," jake began while his hand collapsed from his face and revealed his still toothy smile.

"get on with it," hyunjin gruffly hasted and suddenly began to walk around to the driver's seat of the blue car.

"finally, some fuckin' action," sunghoon boldly responded in the second hyunjin entered his vehicle, mirroring his actions whilst everyone around the car migrated off the side.

"countdown!" one of the slack hooligan's hooted as a countdown of three began. your head was buzzing. events were happening too quickly and yeonjun hadn't even arrived yet. you didn't want him. you just needed him. eyes screwing shut, all you could do was pray for a moment that god was on your side.

but the roaring of engines filled your ears instead.

perhaps things could never go according to plan. you were already quite familiar with that concept. as your eyes pried open as the chatter in the air heightened, you didn't meet with the rear of sunghoon's car. his vehicle was still in place, along with hyunjin's.

it wasn't their revving cars taking off. your brows lifted gently at the realisation it was heeseung's car. except, he wasn't in it, of course. it was yeonjun. the chestnut haired male attracted the attention of everyone, his face contorting into a smug grin.

"what the hell are they doing here...?" you heard jungwon whisper beneath his breath while watching the boy in question kick open his car door. yeonjun's dark derby's trod out from his vehicle while his hands swiped against one another-almost as if he were wiping dust from them.

"well, ain't this a lumpy time to make the scene," familiar foxy eyes danced across the array of people in front of him, all standing in an imperfect line behind the two cars anticipating a race.

definition:'lumpy'. > mediocre.

definition: 'make the scene'. > attend an event/activity.

there was an uproar of confusion and questions creating scores in the air, people from you and bangchan's clique all turning to one another. your white soles collided with the pavement as you stepped forward, "didn't haul ass to get here, did you's?" a stifled laugh erupted in your throat while you eyed the group of five standing around choi's car.

"be grateful we's even showed up, cherry," yeonjun replied with a lower in his tone yet his grin retained on his face. you rolled your eyes in mock annoyance, placing them back on the group beside yours.

"is this every freamer you've kissed together, y/n?" one of the oppositions mocked, a reaction of laughter leeching off of his words. you frowned, hands balling into fists as you stared the boy down.

"y'keepin' count of the amount of boys being kissed wouldn'tya, han?" yeonjun butt in, the sound of a lighter flicking coming from his direction. oddly enough, the boys standing near you stifled laughs at yeonjun's remark. sunghoon's silver hair resembled the moonlight as he whipped his behind around to face us, his dark browns stern.

"explain what these germs are doin' here?" he rasped out, his neck in an uncomfortable twist from his position. jake's head immediately turned to you as you ushered out a curse at the oblivious male's action.

soobin's eyes trained on you with a squint, one side of his lips lifting into an intrigued smile. an uneasy lump in your throat swallowed down, "i invited them. like you said, we were outnumbered," you explained to the puzzled boy.

"yeah well, what'll ya do?" sunghoon raised another question, taking his smoke from his pink lips and tapping it on the edge of his car door, ashes falling to the ground by the gentle force, "i sure don't see any bottles of car oil in y'boot."

the obvious jab towards the oppositions group's wrongdoings towards heeseung altercated the tension in the air. yeonjun extended a leg forward, head cocking towards the side in amusement as he stepped towards sunghoon's idle position.

"you wanna find out, park?" the brunette rhetorically asked, approaching the right door of sunghoon's ride.

"bite-me," sunghoon grit through the fangs of his teeth, lifting his cigarette between two flexed fingers. then, he flicked the lit stick right between yeonjun's eyes, causing the male to abruptly duck forward and grab him by the collar with screwed eyes.

jake and riki were already jumping forward to engage in whatever hand's on experience they could get. soobin, beomgyu, hueningkai and taehyun followed suit, getting into an unnecessary scuffle.

you wanted to face palm at the failure to cooperate between both sides that were originally supposed to bind together.

"we're not supposed to fight you duds, we're on the same side! gods sake, they're like animals," sunoo attempted to persuade, his yells falling flat along with both his palms that he placed on both sides of his mouth.

one of your ears filled with howls of laughter from the sleazy guys you were originally supposed to fight. bangchan was hunched over, slapping his knee while jeongin was pointing and laughing. along with a scrunch in hyunjin's face from the embarrassing display.

you wished jay were here right now. if it were him, he wouldn't let some petty distraction disrupt the goal at hand. you knew that no matter who won between sunghoon and yeonjun, the hooligans would just clean up afterwards and win the turf.

"sunoo, you actually got those salt shakers?" you asked, turning towards the frantic boy with no fret on your face.

he gasped like he had memorised an answer for a test as he reached into one of his jeans pocket's and pulled out a small glass salt shaker, just like he said he would. you licked one corner of your mouth as a lightbulb lit in your mind, "watch this."

you ran towards sunghoon's side of his car and bent down behind the cover of the vehicle. from within you could see sunghoon's toned arm tightly head-locking yeonjun as the said make grunted and tapped his biceps in any way to be loosened. riki had hueningkai's converses roughly planted on the side of his face and jake was letting out girlish squeals from beomgyu and taehyun grasping onto his white shirt to lift him over the bumper of the car.

the most atrocious scuffle you'd seen. but instead of focusing so much on the circus act in front of you, you poured your attention onto your wrist bent at a 90° angle. you were aiming the salt shaker towards bangchan's group and you needed just enough power to throw it over the vehicle beside you.

luckily, salt shakers aren't relatively heavy. with a singular motion, the glass ornament went flying into the air and crashed into jeongin's eyes. the sudden collision staggered the young boy and his feet once keeping his balance toppled one over the other.

the brown haired boy fell backwards onto his tailbone, hands cupping around his eyelids and he let out a groan of pain. you heard a loud cascade of sinister laughter from the group of boys gang fighting in sunghoon's car. it was obviously riki getting the biggest kick outta jeongin being victim to throw.

"haha! was that you sunoo hyung?!" riki laughed abnormally with a wide smile, hands gripping onto the converse sole roughly kicking against him. with his stubborn hold, he bent the shoes back towards hueningkai who groaned at the agonising stretch, "good throw!"

hearing riki's loud banter, jeongin wiped his eyes with the back of his forearm, immediately targeting sunoo across from him, "you askin' for it, fucker," the youngest cursed with a sudden shift of gravity as he stood up and bolted towards sunoo's oblivious self. changbin, han, and a few others followed suit.

your friend squeaked out at the scare, stepping backwards and beginning to run the opposite direction from the newborn crowd, "you just had to say somethin' riki!"

although your plan had sort of backfired, it sparked the interest of jungwon who was standing behind you with his fingers buried tightly in his locks. he had just observed your impressive throw of precision, yet he was still debating on how to include himself in the rumble. his blue coveralls hang loosely around his fit frame, his head turning towards sunoo's quickly paced frame running across the width of the race track.

it wasn't like jungwon offered to fight in rumbles often. he rather be in jay's garage, tweaking any automobile he could get his hands on. with such brute handy work, you'd assume he would pack a somewhat hard punch, kick, or something like that.

"jungwon-if y'don't do somethin' i'll-" sunghoon grunted while scampering his torso up with one of his feet extending himself high on his car seat. using the newfound angle, he slammed one side of yeonjun's head into his steering wheel and sounded an ear-piercing beep of his car.

a few of yeonjun's lackeys who were beating up jake and riki loosened their hold on them to cover their ears at the sudden crack of sound. jungwon's dark round eyes shifted to your crouched position next to sunghoon's car door and bit down on his lip in uncertainty.

just as you were open your lips to say something, a bright flash behind you distracted your train of thought. everyone's heads collectively fwipped around like there was a magnet placed behind an external magnetic field. a flat hand placed itself against your brow bones in hopes to shield your poor eyes from the bright gleam.

the high-beams of the car switched off.

"that couldn't be..."

your eyelids immediately raised at the appearance of jay park behind the steering wheel, "you think a rumble s'gonna happen without me?!" the familiar boy roared over the loud engines of his car. beside him was a figure with reddish-pink tuffs belonging to someone with a flashy smile. you didn't recognise him at first. hell, you wouldn't believe anyone could with the new colour he was sporting.

it was heeseung.

"jay-heeseung!" the masculine voices near you loudly exclaimed in an imperfect harmony. you sputtered on your own breath while watching as jay diagonally parked in front of sunghoon. his ridiculous sunglasses rested atop of his nose bridge as he exited the car, not even waiting another beat before getting his claws onto yeonjun.

"y'gonna miss this," jay laughed out, rough hands digging into yeonjun's shoulders as he dragged the unsuspecting male out of sunghoon's reach. yeonjun landed onto the course pavement, grunting out with a sore cheek from the brutal number sunghoon did on him.

"those shades look ridiculous," were the first words sunghoon exchanged with the make he hadn't seen for a couple of nights. the reunited duo clasped hands, pulling each other into a half handhake-half embrace position.

your pupils dilated, ears cancelling the noise of your surroundings as you watched heeseung leave the car next. his pink hairdo highlighted him in the moonlight and it only made it harder for your eyes to peel off of him.

he wasn't drenched in car oil, or sums of feet away from you on the race track. he was right there. he was wearing his beloved race jacket and navy jeans thats pocket's occupied his thumbs. his remaining fingers rested on his thighs as he skimmed the scenery. seeing him after countless weeks didn't feel real. but another daydream.

"do-something!" sunoo's heightened scream broke your tunnel vision of lee. he ran right towards jay and sunghoon, on the path past jay before the taller man simply reached a finger out to hook onto the back of sunoo's collar. the forceful halt of his marathon had jeongin and the other couple of boys suddenly freeze in confusion of where sunoo had vanished to.

jeongin huffed with a puffed chest rising and falling like a hyperventilation bag, a mean look on his fatigued face.

"and you's would be?" jay questioned, unhooking his finger from sunoo's collar in which the boy collapsed onto the ground from exhaustion. jeongin balled his fists staring off jay, never having met him before.

"put a lid on it. y'wearin' sunglasses in the middle of the night," jeongin responded with a foul tongue. jay raised an eyebrow, mouth pursing as a smoulder crept onto his face whilst he pushed his sunglasses upwards smugly.

the display of mock confidence was less than appetising, to say the least, "ts' a handicap for you goons. y'gonna need it," jay remarked, his beady eyes analysing the crowd and positions of everyone surrounding. jake, taehyun, beomgyu, hueningkai, riki, sunghoon and even yeonjun had paused their actions, curious to watch what the exchange of banter would entail in the centre of the floor.

"rattle your cage, y'not that important," jeongin spat, turning back to the numbers behind him to whisper something. bangchan, felix and hyunjin were the only three not engaging in the festivities but the appearance of heeseung and jay ushered them towards the centre with everyone else in curiosity.

"well ain't this a kick! thats lee, but with pink hair, ey!" felix's deep voice announced as if heeseung wasn't standing there for minutes already.

"either i get my revenge on your crew for what y'did to lee over there, or you get up and take down these mobs here," jay briskly offered towards yeonjun, extending a hand towards the chestnut haired boy. yeonju had a hand holding his stomach, wheezing out at the collision his back suffered against the concrete ground.

yet, he returned the gesture. he'd know exactly where a battle with jay would end up, and he didn't exactly appreciate the steaming smoke of a cigarette fry his eyeballs again. jay grinned with one side of his mouth as yeonjun beckoned something towards the rest of his group, causing them to release jake and riki from their thresholds.

you were unsure of how to react. on one hand you wanted to run to heeseung, vent to him how much you were dying to see him, see a sliver of his presence to calm the storm in your heart. on the other hand, you wanted to avoid him out of all possible chances he loathed your being for what you did.

his head gradually turned towards you, doe eyes following suit as he noticed your hiding figure. as someone called out his name, he straightened his posture and held out a hand while curling his fingers for a split second to gesture you to follow. your shoulders stiffened as your breath hitched for a split second, hesitantly raising in your stature.

you quickly jogged to heeseung as he held out his forearm, your waist being the perfect place to rest it as he walked with you towards the others. there was no 'hello', no 'how are you?', not even a 'where were you?'. you simply craned your head upwards to lock eyes and admit,

"i missed you so much, hot stuff."

[utilitycaster]

I know you tend to know a lot of the CR lore and I feel like I've missed something. I've seen a lot of people in the chat of the last episode talking about how the gods of Exandria need prayer and their followers to live and that they're just using their followers and I'm a bit confused because in the history of Exandria video the gods already had their powers when they came to Exandria.

Yeah I think it's been kept very ambiguous in canon and people have extrapolated or overlaid ideas of deities from other works or traditions.

The biggest canon source I think we have on the relationship of deities to their followers' worship is that after Vecna's ascension, Ioun says that he will need more worshippers to "disseminate his power and claim his domains". However, even that is pretty ambiguous, since Vecna is a new deity who was born mortal - essentially, an evil counterpart to the Raven Queen. It's unclear if this is only true of Vecna (and any hypothetical new god) or only true for something like the expansion of one's domains. Otherwise, I at least think - I could be wrong - that the cast has sometimes acted as though the gods rely on the worship of their followers, but Matt is usually noncommittal or "kind of, but it's complicated" in response.

My understanding, and this does involve some personal interpretation, is that the gods are not like Tinkerbell. They do not need you to clap if you believe in them lest they die. They exist, and have powers, regardless of whether they are worshiped. A good case in point is that between the Schism and the start of the Calamity, the Betrayers were completely sealed away with no access to followers, and survived and rapidly began fucking with the world as soon as they were unleashed. This is further backed up with the fact that the gods have frequently and repeatedly ceded ground to mortals - they granted them arcane magic, and when mortals used this to begin to distance themselves from the gods, the gods permitted it. This is also backed up by Sarenrae remaining perfectly capable of full power despite her worship having been vastly diminished post-Calamity until Pike began signficantly reviving her worship.

However, I think it is fair to say that the gods are drastically limited in what they can do on the Material Plane while they themselves are not on the Material Plane. They primarily need to work through their followers. They can send visions and dreams, and grant powers, but they can't simply step in and fix everything with a snap of their fingers. And so, having more followers and worshipers on the material plane means that their capacity to do enact meaningful change in the world is increased.

For what it's worth I've also, as a person with complex feelings about the existence of god but who through reflection and adjustment that is, frankly, ongoing (which I think is normal and appropriate) does have a religious practice, never found any logic in the idea that the gods are simply using their followers. Like, I might be lighting candles on Friday night to the benefit of literally no one, and anything I feel from it is, effectively, a placebo, or something entirely human-made. So why would it be different if some entity who has never spoken to me nor made their existence definitively clear gains power from it? Now consider the world in which I am a cleric. In that case, I am clearly getting something from this.

In short, the relationship between mortals in Exandria and the gods, or at least the Prime Deities, has always to me seemed symbiotic. I think that the idea people get nothing from the act of worship in and of itself is a very limited and small-minded one in the first place, and so while I reject the idea that the gods are reliant on people for sustenance - though they are reliant for a certain degree of agency within the world - the premise that the gods are using their followers with the followers deriving nothing from it is already false and the entire argument dissolves.

[blackwood4stucky]

*WIP THURSDAY*

Tagged by @ellethespaceunicorn 🩶

I have too many wips rattling around in my brain but here are 3 that I'm currently working on...

bound by blood, thy lovers kiss spells death [evanstan, 🅴] - Chris and Sebastian were never supposed to fall in love with each other. They did anyway.

His comrades teased him plenty when the official summons came. They sang nonsensical songs Beltane, Beltane, All Hail Beltane, as if they knew the real reason he was headed home, as if it was truly a good thing. For the others it probably was, but for Sebastian it would be one of the hardest battles he had ever fought.

do you trust me with your scars enough to show me your heart [stucky, 🅴] - a catfa divergence x twisted fairytale au

There was always a sweetness that lingered in Steve’s nose whenever he spent time with Bucky Barnes. It was a light floral scent with underlying honey and peach that followed Bucky wherever he went. Steve was never too far behind, low eyes and an intoxicated grin gracing his features every time. It was the look of a boy caught in a snare.

burning embers of a dying world [stucky, 🅴] - a dune au

Brooklynd, the capital city on Vanaheim - 10923 Steve looked at the brunet haired baby boy with pointed ears in the bassinet, the omega he would one day take as his wife. He could just barely hear the adults talking on the other side of the room as they whispered about courtship and marriage. He couldn’t believe the Ljósálfar would travel so far from Álfheim to discuss such topics. He was a mere five year old boy, what did he know of alliances and weddings? — Brooklynd, Vanaheim - 20 years later Ever since he can remember, Steve has always been plagued with visions while he sleeps of a boy with pupils that mirror the shade of the Vanaheim ocean tides and irises that sing of the skies. That same boy grows into the man that leads him across the sand dunes that cover Arrakis in its entirety. He still has those dreams, he sees the man wearing a smile that pierces Steve’s soul, one hand drenched in blood and an arm coated in metal. He thinks of those dreams as he stands at the altar to await his bride with those same blue eyes.

no pressure tags: @gyokujyn @rosduncan @greekgeek24 @lynlee494 @the-ravening and anyone else that would like to play!

[andrea-lyn]

time for another rec post, multi-fandom style:

fandoms include: 4 x atla, 2 x the raven cycle, 1 x dungeons & dragons honor among thieves (link will be added to the master post!

avatar the last airbender (zukka)

i'll tell you the truth (but never goodbye) by lesmiserablol

“I was ready to fight for us. I was ready to find a way, any way for us to work. And you were the one who ran away when it got too hard!” “That’s not what happened and you know it!” Sokka snaps. “It was never going to work, and it was stupid to keep pretending otherwise! I’m sorry Zuko, I am, but just because you are the Fire Lord, just because we– we were in love, everything wasn’t going to magically fall into place.” Zuko still has a stubborn expression on his face. There are angry tears in his eyes when he says, “We could’ve figured it out. We could’ve…been us. We could’ve had a good life together.” “Yeah, well, I guess we won’t ever know.” (or, the twenty years between Zuko and Sokka breaking up and finally getting together again, shown in 5 times they don’t say goodbye, +1 time they don’t have to)

boy problems by burnt_oranges

“I accidentally signed off on an arranged marriage to Sokka,” Zuko says faintly. He sits up so fast he almost falls out of his chair. “I signed off on an arranged marriage to Sokka, and he agreed." In which Zuko suffers in a variety of ways, including but not limited to: close and constant proximity to the object of his affections, assassination attempts, and irreparable injuries to his dignity.

Yesterday is Ashes by alivingfire

Sokka takes a strategic step back, but he also smiles: triumphant, like he baited Zuko into exactly what he wanted. Like it’s a challenge. It’s the same way he looked when they sized each other up at the prison, with Sokka in chains that left red marks around his wrist, in tattered prison garb, malnourished and angry. Back then, that was Sokka saying: I see your power. I see you. Now, see me. Zuko saw him then. And he sees him now; different, but the same. I see you. Zuko lights his daos in flame. Sokka grins, back to gravel and heat. “Come on, Fire Lord. Impress me.” Zuko burns. His vision flickers with fire. His heart races. His blood sings. His body is like a magnet, pulling ever onward to meet Sokka’s. He advances. He pins Sokka to the wall, blades against his throat. Or, Zuko found Aang first, Sokka and Katara were imprisoned in Boiling Rock for trying to rescue their dad, and all Sokka knows is he's pretty sure he's not supposed to think the Fire Lord is attractive but he's never let things like rules stop him before.

in flammam flammas【火上澆火】 by ranilla_bean

Zuko scoffed. “As always, I am the author of my own unhappiness.” Sokka hummed. “Years ago, when it was just us travelling together, we came across this fortune teller. I didn’t believe any of that mumbo-jumbo. But then she said that my life would be full of struggle and anguish, most of it self-inflicted.” It suited Zuko’s life extraordinarily well, he felt. “Sometimes, I feel like I’m the only person in the Fire Nation who has a vision of what it takes for this country to get better.” Sokka turned to face him, but Zuko looked resolutely forwards. “That can’t be true.”

Zuko turns twenty-five. In spite of his best efforts, the Fire Nation seems to lurch from crisis to crisis. The firebenders have lost their flame, and the situation with the former colonies is only worsening. All the while, he's ill, lonely, and consumed by work. And on the other side of the country, Sokka has just moved in with one Master Piandao.

Raven Cycle

cool of your hand, back of my neck by grandfather_clock

Adam Parrish has been dumped for the second time ever. Ronan Lynch is a gleeful, weirdly invested observer. They drive around all night long. featuring: teenagers pretending they aren’t in love, shouting over loud music, minor arson, major arson, ronan lynch’s hand fixation, and an unfortunate amount of kiting.

getting swept away by sunmoontruth

“So. Your page. Your knight. Two different people, yes?” the psychic guesses—intuits. She points to each of the tarot cards: a girl with a golden cup, a boy with a golden cup. “Yes,” Gansey says. “But similar feelings,” the psychic says, mostly to herself. She opens her mouth. She closes her mouth. She instructs, “Last card.” Gansey draws. Death. Reversed. — Or a cross country road-trip, developing feelings, and the end of the world

DND: Honor Among Thieves

tenets of devotion by weatheredlaw

Ed leaned forward and put his head in his hands. “This is ridiculous. You know that, right?” “Eh, I think you’ve done weirder things.” “Weirder than marrying a paladin and infiltrating a cult together?” Holga shrugged. “You’ve done a lot of weird things. Don’t make me list them all.” or: xenk needs edgin's help to take down a cult. absolutely nothing can go wrong. right?

[docwritesshit]

A Dragon can't Fall from its skies, not for you

Pairing: Mei x Reader

Genre: Ehh angst w/ fluff ig?

Blurb: You weren't about to let your feelings ruin your friendship, at least ... that was you though

Authors note: this was fun! Slowly getting back into writing, still in burnout so still NO REQUESTS

It wasn’t… It… how did things end up like this?

You took a breath, closing the door behind you. It… why… You huffed a bit, feeling the heat rush to your face. Her smile came to your mind, and you shook you head to get it out. Then her laugh rang in your ears, and you held your palms over them. You needed to block them out.

You didn't need this right now… she didn't need you. You certainly didn’t need for your heart to feel like this.

Your phone chimed, making you pause and look at the notifications to see her text.

“Hey, up for the arcade later?”

You sighed, texting a thumbs down. She would get the message you were tired.

You sat on your bed, looking up to the ceiling. You let your mind wander. Her emerald eyes and scales paired with her raven black hair with those cheesy green highlights flashed in your vision.

You smiled to yourself as you recalled the moment you realized your feelings ran deeper than you thought.

It was just another motorcycle drive. You held onto her waist as you sped through the night, the streets empty with only a few stragglers here and there. It was one glance, just one. Her eyes sparkled with joy, with… something wonderful.

It was a miracle you didn’t fall off the bike then and there, and a bigger sign of the gods above that she turned around just as a blush erupted on your face.

Then the distance started.

You were a part time barista as you went to college, while her parents were loaded and she was a fucking dragon. It wouldn’t work…

You pulled away, only hanging with her if you knew someone else was there with you. You talked less, and needed to be repeated at a few rimed for you to respond.

Was it kinda dickish? Yeah… but what else could you do?

A knock from your front door brought you back to reality. You raised an eyebrow, and looked down at your phone.

“Well then, I’m coming to you.”

…shit.

You started to scramble a bit, wondering if you could try the fire escape before you heard the knob turn and the door open. You facepalmed yourself, your dumbass forgetting to get back the keys you lent her to house sit.

“I know you’re here, your shoes are by the door.” She called out. You groaned lowly, opening the door to your bedroom to face her.

Mei’s short hair was still in its place, even after you spotted the motorcycle helmet on your living room table. She crossed her arms, pouting.

“What the hell is up with you?” She asked. You froze for a second, before forcing a smile.

“What do you mean?”

She raised an eyebrow, giving you a look that screamed she knew that you were aware of what she was talking about. You sighed, and looked away.

“Look, it's.. fine. I'll be fine. I just… need space.” You said. Mei’s eyes widened, backing away.

“Shit, did I do something? I’m so sorry-“

“No, no. You didn't do anything… It’s me, mostly.” You assured her. Her brow furrowed a bit, and she stepped closer, hands raising then pausing in mid air.

“Can I?” She asked. You nodded your head before your brains could process what that would mean. She wrapped her arms around you, holding you close. You hugged her tight as well, tears pricking your eyes.

“You don't have to tell me… but I care for you. And I will be here for you, no matter what.” She stated. You sighed, resting you head on her shoulder.

“That’s the problem…” You muttered. She paused, pulling back and looking at you with a puzzled look.

“What?” She asked.

And it all.. spilled out. You cried as you confessed, stepping away from her as you explained. After it was done.. you looked away. It was silent… until she lifted you up and spun you around, laughing merrily.

‘Oh my gods, gem! I didn’t know you felt the same!” She cheered. Your head spun as she put you down, and you looked to her.

“The… same?” You questioned. She smiled

“Duh! I’ve liked you since… well, I forget when I realized but it’s been a minute.” She smiled. You chuckled, the tightness in your chest loosening.

“I see we both aren’t good at this…” You commented. Mei smirked, leaning in close.

“No, but we could get better~” She teased. You blushed again and looked away.

This was… gonna be interesting.

[sanctum-of-ramshackle]

“I see your darkest fears…”

[TWST AU]: You can’t escape from your fears…

[Synopsis]: In this timeline, there seems to be another variant from the Valorant universe, but this young agent can see more than common horror.

Gender Neutral MC/Yuu

[A/N]: Hey everyone! It’s been a while since my last MC/Yuu variant post and pretty sure you’re starving for more content. Before you read this one, I have a confession to announce. When I posted my first Agent!MC/Yuu: Agent Deadeye, this Valorant agent, Fade was my first choice but back then, I didn’t know much of her or the game’s lore. After some research and gameplay by others, now I can finally post about a variant with her Radiant powers.

[TW]: Nightmares and some descriptions of imagery may be sensitive.

[Helin and ARB4 - KARALIGIN]

“Hazal!”

“MC/Yuu!”

MC/Yuu Eyletmez or by alias, Agent Shatter was recently recruited to the Protocol and surprise! They’re Fade’s younger cousin.

Fade was understandably displeased after finding out that a family member of hers joined into a job that could lead to a darker end.

What’s even more worrisome was that MC/Yuu has similar Radiant abilities like their cool older cousin.

They promised to be careful when using their powers and avoid being shot at during missions.

So the Nightmare Duo was born.

Two sleep-deprived agents having their own prowlers gettin’ zoomies at 3 a.m.

Everything seemed okay at first, until their last mission.

During a mission in Lotus, MC/Yuu fell into the water after getting shot at while they called Fade out for help.

They went unconscious due to blood loss and their vision went dark.

…

Grim: *Running away from the awakened Agent Shatter*

How did Grim become the one to run away?

It happened when after Agent Shatter was freed from the confines of the coffin they were trapped in, this Nightmare Radiant already became defensive and unleashed their Prowler to scare off who or whatever could get them.

Grim was the unfortunate one to witness something so horrific and just bolts out of the room.

They ran out, trying to find a way back home.

They come across different rooms and areas of NRC.

They only stopped when Crowley found them, mistaken as the new student.

Agent!MC/Yuu: I’m sorry, but I’m not a student-

Crowley: Clearly, not yet.

Then they were dragged in the dorm selection ceremony which was about to end.

The Dark Mirror viewed Agent Shatter and sensed something dark within them.

The young agent asked if they can leave when they were literally risking their life during a mission.

Then Grim came in, disrupting the ceremony and demanded to be accepted as an NRC student.

Chaos ensues with Grim flaming up the room and both Riddle and Azul were chasing after the little menace.

Agent Shatter summons out their Prowler out to catch the feline troublemaker.

Except some students unfortunately got affected by the Radiant’s powers and they screamed, panicked, trying to escape from their worst fears.

Even some of the Dorm Leaders were caught.

They saw utter horror within themselves, ready to be unleashed.

Agent!MC/Yuu: Bad Prowler! Get over here! *Summons it back to them*

Crowley: Young one. You should control your two familiars and cannot barge in like that-

Agent!MC/Yuu: Familiars? That flaming cat isn’t mine and my Prowler is part of me. Who are you and why am I here?

Crowley: You’re not a new student?

Agent!MC/Yuu: I’m a VP agent, working for the Valorant Protocol. Did the VL capture me and have their Fade manipulate my nightmares?

Crowley: *Completely lost of their conundrum* What is a VP agent?

Agent!MC/Yuu: You never heard of Valorant? Where am I and what world did I fall into?

Crowley: Night Raven College, Twisted Wonderland.

Agent!MC/Yuu: …Fade is gonna kill me.

[During Chapter 4]

Jamil: Why don’t you stay? *Uses his Unique Magic on MC/Yuu*

Agent!MC/Yuu: *Disappears from his view*

Jamil: Huh?

Agent!MC/Yuu: *Grabs him from behind and uses their powers to manipulate Jamil’s worst nightmares*

[His mind led to seeing himself chained against his will and reminding him he’ll never escape the status he and his family have while serving the Al-Asim Family.]

Jamil: *Wakes up in his bed covered in cold sweat* *Sighs* It’s only a nightmare.

Agent!MC/Yuu: Are you sure about that?

[The whole dorm woke up from the scream of the Vice Dorm Leader]

[Ramshackle]

[The First Years and MC/Yuu were having a sleepover, but something disturbs the peaceful atmosphere.]

Agent!MC/Yuu: *Screams bloody murder in their sleep*

[Everyone jolts up awake from the unexpected.]

Grim: *First to wake up* Hench-human?!

Jack: *Follows up* MC/Yuu?

Epel: What? Someone dyin’?!

Agent!MC/Yuu: *Quietly crying* I-I…I saw darkness…

Deuce: Hey, MC/Yuu. It’s okay. Nothing’s gonna get you.

Agent!MC/Yuu: You don’t understand. I saw what will happen in the future. Everyone will be gone…

Jack: Gone?

Agent!MC/Yuu: I saw everyone here and back in my world, something will happen tragically. I could smell blood and the Blot from these visions. I…Surrounded by people of our loved ones. They’re gone.

[Everyone was concerned for their friend and what they saw in their nightmares.]

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

[Med Bay]

Agent!MC/Yuu: *Sits up in a panic and looks around their surroundings* Wait…I’m back?

Fade: You’re finally awake.

Agent!MC/Yuu: Hazal, I’m sorry- *Uncharacteristically has arms wrapped around them*

Fade: *Hugging them* Don’t scare me like that again. Sage was able to heal you, but you were in a coma for months.

Agent!MC/Yuu: I’m fine, Hazal. I’m glad to be back away from the nightmares I was having.

Fade: *Concern now* What nightmares?

Agent!MC/Yuu: *Flashback to everything back in TWST* I saw too many colors, that’s all.

✨[Reblogs helps creators and creates for more content]💫

[princess-of-the-corner]

Because, Once Again, My Friend Promised Me Chocolate

So, in case anyone actually paid attention, my friend got me to submit our OC (the Raven Miraculous, Kwami of Fate/Destiny, sees the future) and the organization she came up with that went along with it. Well, apparently she’s done some work since then, and now wants me to talk about this AGAIN.

Why she doesn’t do this herself, I don’t know. Probably to watch me suffer.

SO

In case anyone missed it, my friend came up with an organization that acronyms as NOSPOILERS; the New Order Society Preventing Omni-Dimensional Information Leaks, Ensuring Realm Stability (she may have changed a few words since I last checked but whatever). The point of the organization is that they bill themselves as a secret society that observes the world, protecting it from “outside influence” so that the world’s “fate” isn’t “corrupted” by the choices of other dimensions/timelines etc, but otherwise they don’t interfere. However, in the typical fashion of secret societies meant to control the world from the shadows, these days they are less “protect the world” and more “use our knowledge to gain wealth, power, and privilege”.

Now, while they mostly do this through the method of comic book groups like HYDRA or the Illuminati, NOSPOILERS also has access to a powerful magical object that allows the holder to see the future (in my friend’s Headcannon, the Raven Miraculous). The big thing is, to use this item, the holder has to already possess some kind of Clairvoyant ability or potential. It doesn’t have to be strong or obvious, but they need something, otherwise they can’t use the item effectively. Like, they’ll still be able to use it, but it Won’t really be worth it - they won’t have proper control, what they see will be fragmented and disjointed, and the whole experience will take a massive toll. The idea is, people who try to use the item without some kind of Clairvoyant ability (born or trained) will get overwhelmed by the images of the future. Their brains aren’t built for it, and the strain can cause all sorts of problems, such as headaches, fainting, dizzy spells, fevers, and even delusions. Prolonged use when you aren’t built for it can and will eventually cause the user to either have their brain “shut down” in self-defence, leaving them in a coma, or they get swept up in the visions of the future, and lose all hold on reality. You can train for that sort of thing, but even then, all you’re doing is prolonging how long you can last using the item, and your control will be weak at best. In contrast, those that are born with some kind of Clairvoyant ability or potential, even if they never use or awaken it, are basically built to handle that kind of strain, and can use the item easily and quickly master it.

So, it’s in NOSPOILERS best interests to search for and find as many people as they can with some kind of Clairvoyant ability. As a result, they have loads of people who can see the future, even without the item, which just cements their power even more. Still, only the best Seers of each generation are granted the position of Oracle, the one who will use the item to assist the organization.

Then, you get one guy who looks at what the group is doing, and decides “Well, this is f*cked up.”, steals the item and flees the organization. Now, whether the guy lives or gets caught and killed is up in the air, but he manages to mail the item to a distant relative (for ML, they live in Paris) and then we get “teen suddenly has futuresight and superpowers!”.

Now, before anyone says anything about this kid immediately drawing a target on their back, apparently if you look into the future, this item is invisible. Like, you cannot use Clairvoyance or Scrying, or Divination, or any magical method to find this thing. You want to find it, you have to go the old fashioned way.

So, one thing my friend brought up, is that strictly speaking, NOSPOILERS doesn’t actually need the Futuresight MacGuffin. Like, they have so many people who can see the future, plus more resources and money than God, that the MacGuffin is a bit superfluous. But, when you have power …

Anyway, some random bits that I was told to mention:

- NOSPOILERS was not the groups original name, they’ve rebranded

- NOSPOILERS is run by a council, usually of twelve to fifteen members

- since their whole thing is information, they have a massive Archive that has basically all the information in the world

- they have an entire section dedicated to sports, and who’s going to win which trophy in which league, going the next hundred years. It is updated religiously.

- there’s another section dedicated to media and popular fiction. This is the hardest section to recruit for, because you have to be okay with the endings and plot twists of everything being spoiled.

- NOSPOILERS owns a stupid amount of casinos and the like, but most of its members never personally participate. They look down on gambling and lotteries as “too easy” and “beneath them”

Now, ML specific

- NOSPOILERS absolutely know who Hawk Moth and Team Miraculous are. The only reason they haven’t stuck their noses in is because they see the Wish as the “easy way out” (also an Oracle once had a vision of NOSPOILERS using the Wish and the world blowing up, but that has nothing to do with it)

- Actually, the other reason they haven’t stuck their noses in is Gabriel Agreste. They have the knowledge he’d need to save Emilie, but they are fully aware that even trying to blackmail or bribe him would end very poorly, so are keeping out of it (at least until something important turns up to force their hand … .)

- NOSPOILERS has an … understanding with the Order of Guardians. Whether this understanding will survive the Order’s “resurrection” remains to be seen

- of the various Miraculous, besides the Raven, NOSPOILERS would very much like the Snake and the Rabbit. The Snake they’ve never gotten, but there have been a few occasions they’ve snagged the Rabbit. They can never keep it for more than a minute. Usually, they’ll be holding it, when a portal opens, they get beaned with an umbrella, and the watch gets yoinked. This has happened so many times.

Again, we are never going to do anything with this, so if anyone wants to use it, go ahead!

-

oh! fascinating!

[idontdohappyendingz]

When the World Caved In {S.B.}

[Part Two: Fools and Their Woes]

A/N: Another part?!? Two days in a row?!?

Warnings: Graphic injuries, depression, angst, mental distress.

Word Count: 1814

[1977]

“You just need to tell him,” laughed Lily from across the table. The library was practically empty except for the two girls working on Slughorn’s brutal potions essay. Anathema shot a glare in the red head’s general direction.

“Easy for you to say, James has been all over you since he first saw you on the train!” Anathema huffed, slouching over her sparsely done essay, “don’t start copying my paper!”

“Oh no, what ever shall I do without your,” Lily glanced down at her friend’s paper, “seven words.”

“Just shoot me,” Anathema groaned as she realized that the only words there were her name and the title.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Lily winked. A loud crash snatched her focus away. Sirius was sitting on the floor, having apparently fallen over, under a massive tome. He noticed Anathema’s lingering gaze and waved as innocently as he could, with his head tilted to the side and everything.

“For fuck’s sake, Sirius. Are you trying to give me an aneurysm?” Anathema scolded. Lily snorted as he painstakingly lifted the book and walked toward the two of them.

“Why darling, I’m offended that you would think such things of me,” Sirius teased. About 0.5 seconds later, the tome slipped out of his hands and slammed down on the table. Anathema nearly jumped out of her skin.

“Sirius. Black. I swear-”

“Sorry dear!” he cringed. Anathema looked away, hoping that he didn’t notice the blush spreading across her face. But it failed to escape Lily’s hawk-like vision.

“Y’know, Ana, Sirius is way better than I am at potions,” Lily said, her intentions poorly hidden.

“Do you need help with the essay for Slughorn?” Sirius piped up with a zealous grin. Anathema playfully kicked Lily’s shin with a straight face.

“Y-Yeah, actually. Lily is no help, to be completely honest,” Anathema stuttered.

“It’s the one on Amortentia, right?”

“Yep.”

“Well, good thing this monster of a book is about…” Sirius scanned the spine, “complex charms…” he bit his lip and slid it toward Lily.

“Ah, yes. Exactly the thing I need for my potions essay,” Anathema joked sarcastically. Sirius barked out a laugh as Lily gathered her supplies.

“I’ll see you two [lovebirds] later,” she winked. Anathema felt her face heat up as Sirius slipped into the seat next to her. When Lily had left, Anathema swallowed a lump in her throat. You could cut the tension with a knife.

“So, uh… what have you written down already?” Sirius asked, shifting awkwardly in his chair. Anathema glanced at her barren parchment before cringing internally.

“Well… do you want the bad news or the worse news?” Ana said meekly.

“Merlin’s beard, Nightshade, are you trying to give me a heart attack as revenge?” he teased. Anathema scrunched her nose at the nickname he had given her. Her animagus was a raven, a form she had apparently inherited from a particular ancestor of hers.

“I’m telling you, Padfoot, ‘Nightshade’ isn’t going to catch on. Not while I’m around,” Anathema said, sticking her tongue out at him.

“How about ‘Inkwing’? Hm, or ‘Darkwing’?” Sirius proposed with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

“Sirius!” she blurted suddenly.

“Yeah?” he asked, slightly furrowing his brow and letting the smile slip from his face.

“I want to tell you some-”

“PADFOOOOOOOOOOOT!” bellowed James as he ran past the library door closely followed by none other than Peeves the Poltergeist.

“Prongs…” Sirius groaned. He peered back at Anathema, who was trying her hardest to hide the disappointment on her face.

“Go, Sirius,” she reassured him, “I’ll be here when you get back.” He smiled softly and stumbled over a chair.

“Oh! Before I forget or lose the courage,” he mumbled as he came closer. He swiftly lifted Anathema's chin with his left hand and gently pressed his lips to her forehead. Her eyes fluttered shut automatically.

[1981]

“Oh le Faaaaaaaaay,” Bellatrix’s shrill voice shredded through Anathema’s peace of mind. She peeled her eyes open and saw Rosier unroll a canvas. Whatever it was, its individual pieces clinked against each other. Anathema tried to summon a witty response, but her mind was too clouded and her mouth refused to move.

“Come on, Annie! No clever words to utter today?” Bellatrix said, jabbing at Anathema’s will. Her body was already battered with old cuts and bruises from the many days that had passed, and she just hoped she would pass out sooner this time.

“How embarrassing,” Bellatrix boasted, as if Anathema had already given in, “Rosier, would you be a dear and hand me the size 11?” He rolled his eyes and grabbed the sharpened scalpel. The pointed steel reflected the bright light hovering above the three of them. Bellatrix had relished the idea that if witches and wizards loved muggles so much, then they definitely wouldn’t mind if they used muggle methods to get their captives to talk. That day seemed to be scalpel day. Rosier sat down in the corner and leaned forward eagerly.

“Wait, wait, Rosier. We must always ask her before we begin,” Bellatrix's wild eyes flashed violently, “Who is the Potters’ secret keeper, Annie?” As much as she would hate to admit it, Anathema hesitated. Bellatrix’s smile became impossibly wide.

“Is she finally ready to talk?” Rosier asked, not even trying to hide his amazement. Bellatrix gently laid the blade on the small nightstand next to her.

“Go on, le Fay. Spit it out,” Rosier chuckled darkly. Bellatrix waved him off.

“S-S-S-” she coughed.

“Get her some water, Rosier!” Bellatrix shouted. He ran out of the room and shouted down the hall. Footsteps shuffled behind her until Rosier reappeared with a glass of water. He begrudgingly raised it to her cracked lips once Bellatrix backed up. Anathema gulped down the water, savoring the refreshing feeling in her throat.

“That’s enough,” Bellatrix clicked her tongue. Anathema almost cried when he pulled the glass back.

“Annie. Who is it?”

“S-” Anathema retched. Bellatrix leered over her, desperate to catch every utterance. Anathema’s eyes hardened with fury.

“See you in Hell,” she managed to whisper with a faint smirk. Anathema heard the slap before she felt the fire burning across her skin.

“You good-for-nothing BLOOD TRAITOR!” Bellatrix hollered. The unhinged witch grabbed the scalpel and thrust it into Anathema’s abdomen. Her screams would have made Voldemort weep. Bellatrix cackled maniacally as she twisted the blade and shoved it deeper.

“Bellatrix!” Rosier shouted, “you can’t just kill her!”

“Shut up, Rosier!” Bellatrix countered, her eyes never leaving Anathema’s, “I’ll let her cling to the edge of death and bring her back over and over again until she begs me to kill her.” Anathema barely registered Bellatrix’s words, her agony all-encompassing. It wasn't long until she lost her grip on consciousness, the only sign of life left was her dull heartbeat.

[1981]

When he finally awoke, Sirius struggled to see clearly, for his bleary eyes were still crusted with sleep. His forlorn gaze swept across the wrinkled covers, Anathema’s empty side was glaringly apparent in the afternoon sun. Sirius sighed and slowly forced himself out of bed, his only true motivation being the hope that her name wouldn’t be listed among the mounting list of casualties in the Daily Prophet.

Perhaps that wouldn’t be such a bad thing, Sirius thought reluctantly, at least she won’t be in pain… Sirius cursed aloud. How dare he even entertain such an idea. The solitude must have been getting to him.

By the time his kettle had whistled the anticipation of that wiry owl’s daily delivery had eaten him alive. Sirius took a generous sip from Anathema’s favorite mug and swirled the sweetened tea over his tongue before swallowing, the liquid burning his dry throat. He imagined James sitting down on his sagging gray couch, head in his hands. Lily would most likely be tucked into his side, drifting off to sleep while baby Harry caught some Z’s like tiny golden snitches. Sirius thought about how James had fought Dumbledore when he suggested using the Fidelius Charm and sending them into hiding. James was a fiery spirit, he wanted to fight but he had to protect his growing family. The only thing he could do was wait.

Impatient taps on the kitchen window brought Sirius back to reality. A scrawny barn owl perched upon Anathema’s ledge planter, the soil had been dry and devoid of life since she had disappeared.

“You ruddy owl!” Sirius exclaimed as he swung open the glass pane, “you’re going to shatter the bloody window at that rate!” The owl glared at him, its piercing yellow eyes were only mildly unsettling. Sirius huffed and untied the Daily Prophet from its leg. The owl squawked angrily once Sirius set the paper down on the tile countertop.

“I swear on Merlin’s beard! I’m going to pluck every one of your dodgy feathers and stuff me a pillow,” Sirius threatened.

“Are you yelling at… an owl, Padfoot?” a familiar voice called from behind him. Sirius nearly died at the sound of his old friend.

“Moony, you tosser! Nearly gave me a heart attack,” Sirius grumbled. He absentmindedly assessed Remus as he slipped a sickle into the owl’s leather pouch. Remus was sporting a new collection of newly healed scars across his pale face, though he seemed determined to hide them with his scraggly hair. He leaned against the door frame, heavily favoring his left leg, and strangely opted to keep his rather cumbersome overcoat on despite the obvious perspiration prickling his browline.

“You look like you’ve just seen a ghost, Pads,” Remus commented, his voice quavering. His face betrayed him, Sirius instantly knew that something was wrong.

“What’s happened?” Sirius interrogated as he swallowed a lump in his throat. The mutual distrust was bad enough, but the one thing Sirius would never tolerate was lies by omission, emotions be damned.

“Did Dumbledore not-. Uh, you should really read the paper before-”

“What?” Sirius interrupted, “what’s the paper got to do with…” he trailed off. His blood ran cold as the pieces slowly clicked together. Sirius’ hands trembled as Remus approached him.

“Pads…” he whispered.

“No. NO. It’s not possible,” Sirius argued, biting back a sob. Remus gently lifted the slightly wrinkled newspaper from the counter and flipped through the various stories until he came to the section dreaded reading every day.

“October 17th, 1981-” Remus started.

“Stop…”

“The Ministry of Magic has confirmed 17 deaths-”

“Remus…”

“Abigail Presley (40), Jonathan Meynard (64)-”

“Please…” Sirius cried softly.

“And… Anathema le Fay (21),” Remus mouthed, the air stolen from his lungs.

“Annie…” Sirius sobbed, “tell me it’s not true, Remus! She-she can’t be gone.” Sirius crumpled against the cupboards, sobs wracking his body. Remus lowered his head in shame, unable to watch his friend suffer as Sirius’ wails of agony echoed through the cold, empty flat