#VENTING

[hel7l7]

I get scared when things go right it feels like I'm waiting for it to go wrong again

[stargirlanthem]

feels like sugar in me (i always crave and go back to abus1v3 relationships because i dont feel like i deserve any better and its the only way i ever feel loved) 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ

[wreckrinho]

Its hard to NOT compare yourself with other artists if even in your classroom people start to compete with each other lmao---- I just lost my "artist" title because a girl in my class, Maria, can draw anime and is learning realism.

Ik that my art isn't going as nice as before but c'mon im the class "president", literally is my job and responsibility at school to do good drawings and posters and stuff.... Am i gonna be replaced? What will happen now? Everyone think kids better than me cuz they can draw fucking goku and kawaii..like yeah shes great but im also great???!!! Fucking Look at me!!???

Btw doodles

[painstitution]

[listentoace]

Hey, I wanted to address a couple of things.

I have been receiving several asks regarding some of my recent posts. I admit they are darker than the usual stuff. That was a decision I consciously made, because I do tend to have darker fantasies and wanted to see how they would be received. I consider most of the criticism I received to be valid points. Here are a few of them:

The whole idea of "ruining yourself"/"ruining your body" as you're gaining weight can be found fatphobic

Connecting feederism to habitual behavior, addiction, loss of control, and even brain damage can be found scary or even disturbing

Encouraging people to embrace health issues (both physical and mental) because of feederism can be found toxic

Constantly connecting feederism and weight gain with the negative side effects (sluggishness and laziness, health issues, societal judgement, etc.) can lead to the conclusion that feederism, obesity, indulgence, etc. are generally bad things

I won't try to defend myself. In fact, I completely agree with (most) criticism I received. The only kind of "criticism" I don't recognize are attacks toward me personally, but that's just reflected in a minority of the asks I receive. To all people who have sent me asks: it's great that you're sharing your opinion and thoughts, and I encourage you to keep doing so!

I think it is necessary to mention again that I don't mean anyone any harm. I am not fatphobic, and I do not mean to force any kinks upon anyone. This is just me writing and recording some horny ideas I occasionally have for those people who are into the same stuff. It is also very important to mention that in many cases, the fantasy of something can be very hot, while the reality of it could be very stressful and traumatizing. This is especially the case with more intense fantasies and kinks, e.g., being kidnapped and fattened. Everything I write takes place in "fantasy land". Nothing I post is meant as a threat, actual encouragement for dangerous behavior or self harm, or other harmful behavior. Pleae keep this in mind!

Getting back to the criticism: Yes, I like the dark stuff. I am very intrigued by the idea of feedees getting fatter for pleasure, despite all the negative consequences that can come with weight gain and obesity. I also enjoy calling people out for it, both with mild teasing and with very direct "you're damaging yourself" claims. I know that this is not everybody's cup of tea, which is why I already tag all posts with darker topics related to self-destruction, severe health issues, permanent damage and even death with "#death feederism" and "#death feedist". This is also mentioned in my pinned info post under "My Content", encouraging people to hide these tags who are not into certain content I post. However, it is quite clear that this isn't a great solution – otherwise I would not be receiving these asks.

I am very open to solving this issue together. After all, it always has been my personal ambition to write and record content for your enjoyment and pleasure. I want to make you – the readers and listeners – feel good and excited. I don't mean to scare or disturb you with my darker fantasies and kinks that don't appeal to you. Nonetheless, I do enjoy causing "holy shit, this is really bad, but it just feels so good!" pleasure and horniness.

In the past, I occasionally made use of trigger warnings at the top of my posts. If I recall correctly, I did hide the main content behind the "Keep reading" button. This was not consistent, but I am open to generally implementing this for all future posts that include sensitive subjects, such as death feederism, consensual non-consent, heavy conditioning and brain damage, or severe degradation and objectification.

However, before I do that, I first wanted to recognize the asks I received and open the conversation by addressing these issues. I encourage you to share your thoughts on this with me in the comments, asks, or my dms. Please let me know whether you think the combination of a trigger warning and a "Keep reading" button is sufficient and reasonable. I will still be tagging my posts accordingly, like I've done in the past, so filtering through hiding certain hashtags will remain an option either way.

I'm looking forward to your feedback and ideas, thank you for the criticism! :)

[theereina]

I've never known stability and safety a day in my life and that pisses me off.

Loads of Unhealed Childhood Trauma

Molested By 2 DIFFERENT Family Members As a Child With No Justice

Emotionally Immature Parents

Childhood Poverty

Covert Narcissistic Mother (Financial, Emotional, Physical Abuse)

Absent Manipulative Father (Emotional Abuse)

Manipulative, Unstable Stepfather (Financial, Emotional Abuse)

Unmedicated Mentally Ill , Violent Older Sister

Multiple Concurrent Autoimmune Diseases

Untreated and Neglected Mental Illnesses

Undiagnosed and Mistreated Physical Illnesses

Childhood Medical Neglect

Multiple Su*cide Attempts Before The Age of 12

This is just what I can remember right now.

*I was never going to post this draft, but I finally got to confront one of my abusers today.

[iknityounot]

Listen I am not going to name anyone specifically, but pattern makers need to talk to one (1) fat person before they can post their patterns online.

I am so sick of finding a cute pattern, getting all the supplies, checking my gage, and starting to knit, only to find that my sleeves are a foot longer than a normal human because the pattern maker just multiplied all their numbers by 10 when they sized it up. I can't believe I have to say this but, just because my ass is fat does not mean my arms go down to my knees???

[borderlesbian]

i'm really fucking scared this is all i will ever be

[k3t4min5]

i got a thing for pushing people away when im at my lowest

[silly-jewish-vents]

Begging, screaming, pleading with gentiles to use Hashem, G-d, or The Tetragrammaton to refer to the Jewish god specifically. Being academic or whatever nonsense you’re using to rationalize it is no excuse to butcher the pronunciation of a name that is not meant to be spoken by the culture you’re referring to. You’re not being academic. You’re just being a jerk.

Edit/additional notes for clarification: this is specifically talking about attempted pronunciations/spellings of the Tetragrammaton in areas like Academia or in conversations about Judaism centered around Jews. This is not about in terms of a religious context such as church or mosque.

The spelling of G-d with a dash instead of an o is my personal comfort level for this post. For anyone for whom that isnt their custom that isnt an issue and they can absolutely use an oh and spell out G-d fully. I chose not to for this post. I may choose to spell it out in the future.

There is technically an argument to be made for exceptionally early israelite history like canaanite era usage. Personally still makes me and others uncomfortable and feels weird. That argument does not apply to temple or onward Jewish history era.

[hel7l7]

Do you hate me now?

[teaboot]

Kind of a random hill to die on rn but "You'd eat this thing you hate if you got hungry enough" does not set a reasonable expectation of what "hungry enough" means for people with food problems.

Like, are we talking "stomach grumbling" hungry enough, or "can't stand up" hungry enough? Cause personally, I can make myself eat a bit of a pork chop if I'm barfy and shaking and can't see straight anymore, but if it's down to "black out for three days and wake up angry and confused" or "willingly swallow prosciutto", I'm having sleep for dinner. And I know this from experience.

People without food problems don't seem to understand this and it drives me insane. "Hungry enough" is for shit like chewing drywall because the alternative is death or cannibalism.

If I say I can't eat something, It means I can't eat it. It Is Not Edible To Me. It's not even appetizing. It literally does not register as food. You might as well hand me a rubber duck.

And it's frustrating!! Trust me, I wish I wasn't like this, too!! This isn't a choice!! I know it can be rude!! It's embarassing!! It's complicated and annoying and irrational!! That doesn't fix the problem!!

I just wish people didn't treat this sort of thing as "being picky" or lacking willpower or basic manners or something. I can't make myself eat certain foods the way you probably couldn't cut your own fingers off. Does that make sense? It's not just food. Fuck

[de8dly]

haha sorry for the late reply, i was busy thinking of all the reasons why i should kms aha.

[ijustthoughtheavenwouldglow]

Wanting someone 2 love you like you love them when you have bpd is so shattering

[emsleyanbluejay]

“forcing people to use the restroom of the sex they were assigned at birth is stupid because it’s going to force trans men into women’s restrooms where they’ll make cis women feel unsafe because they look like men” fucking shut up.

i don’t care. i don’t care about cis women feeling uncomfortable with trans men in “women’s spaces.” i could not care less about cis women’s feelings on the matter.

i care about the transmascs at risk of abuse and assault because of being forced into women’s restrooms. i care about the transmascs and butches and intersex people being put in danger because of these bills. i care about the fact that people who supposedly care about me and my transmasc and butch and intersex siblings are glossing over that cis women are just as capable of violence as anyone else, that we can, and have been, and will be assaulted by them because we’re “stepping out of line.”

i don’t want to hear about us being “safer.” i don’t want to hear about the poor cis women’s feelings, and i especially don’t want to hear it from other transmascs.

you don’t know what you’re talking about. do us both a favor and shut. up.

[necroticghost]

are you normal or does the slightest criticism make you feel like throwing up, makes you sweat uncontrollably and your face feel like it's burning?