#also the idea of bruce ‘world’s greatest detective’

[hypewinter]

Dick stared out at the snowy landscape past the window before turning back to his new baby brother. Danny was sitting in his high chair, happily munching away at some Cheerios. Looking at him now Dick thought back to how he had come to Wayne Manor just a few months prior.

Bruce had stormed into the Manor after coming back from a Justice League mission with a bundle in his hands. Dick who had stopped by the manor to steal food catch up with Alfred had been thoroughly thrown off by his father's open animosity. He could hardly recall the last time he'd seen Bruce this outwardly furious. The man's glare alone could rival Darkseid's omega beams. As Bruce sat down at the table, the two men finally got a good look at just what he was carrying. It was an infant. An infant who was fast asleep, his soft black hair falling over his eyes. Bruce quietly asked Alfred to prepare a room as well as all necessities needed for a baby. The old butler had immediately set off to just that.

Meanwhile Dick was quick to ask what had happened but Bruce didn't say. Even when the others gradually found what was happening and asked their own questions, he still refused to answer. Not even Alfred had been told where the baby had come from. The only information Bruce had offered up was that the baby's name was Danny and he would be staying at the Manor from now on. As for the rest of the details, he claimed he would tell them in due time. But Batman's "due time" was often too late to actually do anything about it so desperate for answers, the family had turned to their own investigations only to come up with nothing.

All files related to Danny were locked behind a mountain of firewalls and Oracle had apparently already been sworn to secrecy by the big man himself. Whatever it was, Bruce wanted absolutely zero interference, so for now, the family was forced to sit in their hands.

That led till now, 5 months later. It was mid-January and Dick was on babysitting duty. Everyone else was either out running errands or on a mission. Not that Dick minded though. Danny was incredibly cute and he loved taking care of him. Besides, it gave him the perfect opportunity to get Danny to see him as the favorite brother. Still, Dick couldn't help but feel couped up today. Maybe it was because it had been snowing the last few days leaving both boys alone in the giant manor all day long.

Dick stared wistfully out the window once again before an idea dawned on him. He turned back to Danny who had stuffed the last of the Cheerios into his mouth along with his entire hand.

"Hey Danny. Wanna have a snow day?" he asked cheerily. The boy cocked his head at Dick, hand still in mouth. Dick smiled wider. "I'll take that as a yes!"

Dick hoisted Danny out of his high chair and carried him upstairs to his room. After he set Danny down in his crib, he grabbed all the gear he needed. He picked out a long sleeve shirt with a cartoon star and big bold letters reading "You're a Star!" He also grabbed long socks, some elastic pants as well as jeans, a scarf, a blue beanie, and a pair of cute little mittens.

It didn't take long for Danny to be fully dressed for the outside elements. Though after Dick finished putting his shoes on, he squirmed a little and made a face.

"I know I know," Dick cooed. "But I'm pretty sure B. would make an exception to his 'no killing rule' if you got sick on my watch."

Dick admired his handy work for a minute (taking dozens of pictures as he did so) before picking his brother up and heading downstairs. After a quick pitstop at the door to grab his own jacket and gloves from the coat rack, he opened the door and greeted the chilly air outside.

Danny giggled as he reached up at the snow while Dick circled around to the side of the manor.

"Bitey! Bitey!" he squealed.

"Yep, Bitey," Dick replied with mild confusion.

Danny would say random things like that sometimes, forcing the world's greatest detectives to put their minds together in order to figure out what he was talking about. One time he just wouldn't stop saying "Em". It took everyone a whole day to realize he was referring to music. And an extra two days to figure out he was specifically referring to pop music.

Oftentimes he would call Barbara "Jazzy" and Duke "Tuck". On occasion he would even call Cass "Sammy". Every time he called something a new name, it was a race to figure out what he meant. Each time they figured out a new word, Bruce's face would darken and he'd disappear off to the Watchtower for the day. Something that was really starting to drag on Dick's nerves. It was like it was physically impossible for that man to share information.

Dick was startled out of his thoughts by a tug at his jacket and looked down to see Danny staring at him.

"Sorry sorry," he said with a smile. "Lost in my thoughts. Forgive me?"

Danny put on a pout but Dick knew by now that it was fake. One could tell by the mischievous look in the boy's eyes that he just couldn't hide. "So be it then!" Dick declared before pulling Danny close and snuggling into him. The boy shrieked as cold nose touched warm neck. "Fo-give! Fo-give!" he cried.

"Aw thanks," Dick said as he pulled away. Danny giggled again, his bright blue eyes crinkling with laughter.

The pair walked around in the snow for a bit longer before Danny started making grabby hands towards the ground. "You want down?" Dick asked. Danny nodded energetically.

"Alright."

Dick carefully set Danny down in the snow. The boy excitedly wriggled before putting his hands down to the snow. As Dick watched, there was a burst of light and suddenly there was a semi circle of ice, radiating out from their position. Dick stared at the ice in shock. Danny turned and blinked up at Dick, almost as if he were in shock too. But he very quickly went back to playing in the snow. Dick swallowed. Sure they all knew Danny had powers. It was pretty obvious when the third day there, he floated up to the ceiling. Still though, he highly doubted ice powers was up there on anyone's list of "abilities our new baby brother might manifest next."

Dick was so shocked all he could manage to utter was, "Huh. That's new."

[nat-ter]

superbat fic idea: Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne are dating. Superman and Batman are teammates.

The first time Clark Kent joins the Wayne's for dinner, Bruce's kids realise that Clark Kent is Superman. Surely if they can immediately figure out Superman's civillian identity, World's Greatest Detective probably already did too. It makes sense, Bruce has always talked about Superman this and Superman that so they knew he definitely has a crush on the hero, and it's good that he seems to get his act together and ask Clark out. If anything, the kids are happy for him. And if Bruce knew Clark is Superman, surely he would've already revealed his own alter ego too. The whole "meet the family" was probably also Bruce's way of testing his kids, to see if their extensive training paid off and could see what is right in front of them.

Except. World's Greatest Detective, Batman, The Dark Knight himself, is in the dark about his boyfriend's superhero life. And Clark Kent, investigative journalist with superpowers and supersenses, has no idea he's dating Batman. But far be it from Bruce's kids to ever question the intelligence of Batman or by extension, Superman.

Cue, the Batkids acting overly familiar with Superman much to Superman's confusion; Bruce's children sharing what is supposed to be an inside joke with Clark when Batman or Superman happens to come up in a conversation even though Clark doesn't look like he gets the joke; Batkids greeting Clark Kent like an old pal when he happens to be in a Gotham crime scene; Bruce's children calling for Superman when they need him to do something, which is usually really mundane like "Superman! Superman! I got my baseball stuck on the roof can you please come and take it for me?", but Superman always does come because these are his boyfriend's kids of course he'd do anything for them even if they don't know that Superman is Clark Kent.

Even though they find it weird that Bruce talks as if Clark and Superman are two different people, they just chalk it up to Bruce being Bruce and refusing to mix Batman's business and Bruce Wayne's. And if Bruce refuses to mix their personal life with their professional life, then there's nothing Clark can do but follow Bruce's steps because Bruce is a control freak and Clark seems to be completely smitten with Bruce. Right? It makes perfect sense.

(And Bruce is perplexed. On one hand, his kids seem to adore Clark whenever the man comes over, or even when he doesn't, they would ask about him— Is he coming over this weekend? Can they visit his parents' farm? But on the other, his kids seem to try and set him up with Superman too, if the jokes and innuendos they make were any indication. Should Bruce talk to his kids? Tell them he's serious with Clark? But shouldn't they already know that he is? Is this their way of showing their dislike for Clark? But what is there not to love about Clark? Bruce ended up brooding a lot these days.)

[frownyalfred]

Had a thought for a really dumb identity reveal fic (that I'll probably never finish but want to share lol) where a magician/god like figure decides to summon the Justice League into a pocket dimension and make them complete a series of tests. The caveat is that he takes their powers from them while doing it.

The issue the league runs into is his timing, and the fact that somehow instead of summoning Batman he summoned Brucie Wayne and his army of children from the middle of a Gala.

Bruce is gaslight, gatekeep, girlbossing for all of them. He keeps implying that the spell must have considered him a hero on par with them because of how much he donates. Any time someone tries to ask why the kids also showed up they start talking about how it must of been a proximity thing! They were taking a group photo!! Big group photo!! Every one must have just been touching or something?

It definitely ends in Brucie "accidentally" solving the puzzles with the league until the very end when they hit one he can't fake his way through. Just occasionally tripping into things like "oh!!! This opens a secret passage!!! Who would've expected that."

The kids are no help. They keep taking about how "familiar" Green Arrow looks. Oliver is sweating bullets about the Wayne's realizing who he is and they all know it.

I love this!! It reminds me of a fic idea I think I briefly talked about on here before. It was stolen from a Merlin BBC fic where a spirit wouldn't let their group pass until every single person in the group said every name they're known by, including titles, awards, monikers, names they call themselves, etc.

I always wanted someone to write a Justice League version of that fic, since the JL has tons of identity reveal stuff to divulge in that moment, even the heroes who don't have secret identities!

I'll list Bruce's just to start...

Bruce: Batman, Brucie, Bruce Wayne, CEO, Mr. Wayne, The Dark Knight, Gotham's Son, The Prince of Gotham, Father, Cousin, Son, The Demon's Successor, World's Greatest Detective, Master of Martial Arts, etc...

It's the kind of secret identity reveal he can't outsmart or weasel his way out of, which I love. And the other members don't quite get what a huge reveal all of those names is for him. He doesn't brag and protects his kids' existence like nothing else!

[radiance1]

danny who being the ghost king is given a lifetime and afterlifetime before becoming king and is the great (+great?) uncle of Bruce Wayne or something and dies of an accident at 14 only to haunt the mansion as shadows and fleeting images and the Wayne family accept that and over time his tales of protecting the house and family are told as childhood imaginary friends by future generations and when Alfred first got the job as a butler for the Wayne’s came in Danny who is around Alfred’s age get a crush and slowly revealed himself in fleeting moments and courted Alfred and he accepted, Danny was ecstatic and was very clingy but Alfred needed to work so he held off, Danny and Alfred may be official but Alfred would have to become a ghost but Danny isn’t fond of the idea of his beloved going before his time so he waits for him as he helps him with chores around the mansion and gives a little amusing dance parties with past Wayne’s who were able to be shadows but not as strong as Danny who needs to supply them with ectoplasm now to the present

Danny has helped giving guiding whispers to all the Wayne children and left out food who they thought was Alfred but once everyone is in the manor at a time they realize that things aren’t normal and Alfred isn’t helping their assumptions by taking tea breaks (that’s Danny insisted on) when something ghostish happens and then they notice a boy running down the halls looking like a Robin, but Robin is right here! Danny then turns the radio that Alfred has kept to a nice jazzy song that gets the bones moving and grooving

the bat kids who see a 14 year old kid with old times clothing that is fancy af dancing as the shadows twist with the beat? Not so much.

So am I under the assumption that Bruce Wayne himself also knows? Or is it that mister world's greatest detective never figured out that his butler was dating a ghost?

[anxiousnerdwritings]

Bimbo!Sister!Reader who somehow has a thing with like, half of the Justice League but she didn’t meet them because of Bruce, it just happened naturally. Same with all of Bruce’s exes.

Poor Bruce when he finds out his sister has had situationships going on with half (if not all) of his colleagues as well as his exes at some point and currently. It would be funny if the “world’s greatest detective” had no fucking clue his sister had any type of relationship with any of the Justice League or his exes. It would be even funnier if Bimbo!Sister!Reader has no idea that she was hooking up any, let alone all, of the Justice League members or Bruce’s exes. Like, I can just imagine the Reader meeting the Justice League for the first time in their superhero garb and not having a inkling that these people are her ex lovers/current lovers. Meanwhile, the Justice League (excluding B-man) are just now realizing that they’ve been with Bruce’s precious sister (who they probably didn’t even know existed) and are both shitting their pants as well as not believing they were able to snag Bruce’s sibling.

Bruce totally picks up on the way his co-workers are acting and overall atmosphere, like the man is already doing the math and to say he isn’t happy would be a complete understatement. He totally pulls the extreme overprotective brother card and cockblocks everyone to hell. There is no way he’s letting his sister out of his sight ever again. Just wait till the rest of the batfamily finds out. You think Bruce is bad you haven’t seen the overprotective batkids when it comes to their beloved Bimbo!aunt.

Also, you can’t tell me Alfred didn’t know about any of the Reader’s relationships. He is totally the one Bimbo!Sister!Reader would go to to vent or gush about whoever she was seeing at the time and get advice or just to share what was on her mind. And you can’t tell me that Alfred wouldn’t keep her shit under lock and key. The same goes for Alfred with Bruce. The only reason he would reveal anything or bring something to Bruce’s attention especially would be if he felt it was in the best interest of the Reader to get Bruce involved. Otherwise he’s taking it to the grave with him.

[makethatelevenrings]

On the Edge // B. Wayne x f!reader

Requested? Yes!

Warnings: 18+ ONLY MDNI go read Percy Jackson pls not this, sex toys, dildo, vaginal penetration, masturbation, dom/sub relationship, denied orgasm, camera sex

Summary: Bruce has been at the Watchtower for a few days now and you’re frustrated. Things ensue.

“I miss you.”

Your confession was met with a laugh suffused with warmth. A grin crept up onto your lips as the grainy video grew and glitched until it smoothed out into the handsome face of your husband. Bruce looked positively exhausted, bags clinging to his blue eyes, but he kept a straight face. He always refused to show any sign of fatigue, but he also knew better than to hide himself from you.

“You look like shit,” you commented lightly. His lips lifted into a small smile at that and he planted his forearms on the small wooden table that you knew was tucked into the corner of his quarters on the Watchtower. His cowl hung behind his head, but the rest of the suit was still on. He must have left a meeting and come straight here for your daily call.

“You’ve always had such a way with words,” he grunted, but there was no heat behind his words. “How was patrol last night?”

“Good ,” you reported. The stack of reports next to you all said the same thing. Easy night, minimal injuries, and a few low level criminals locked away. No Arkham breakouts and there was nothing from your contacts about major players making moves. You weren’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth here.

You leaned forward and the collar of Bruce’s button down that covered your torso slipped down just a bit. His eyes immediately locked onto the skin exposed on his screen and his tongue darted out to wet his lips. Good, your plan was working.

He’d been gone a week now and you missed him terribly. The bed was cold at night and you hated running patrol from the cave, not feeling confident that you could pull one of your kid’s out of danger the way he could. Bruce was solid and secure.

And he also was the image of many night time fantasies that led to your hand sliding under the band of your underwear and touching yourself. But he had made himself very clear before he left:

You can touch yourself all you want, but you weren’t allowed to come.

The worst part was that you had no timeframe for when he was coming home. You had no idea when relief would come and instead found yourself pulling your hand away from your soaked pussy before you reached that high. Bruce did so much for you and Gotham and the world that the least he deserved was his desired sight of seeing you come apart.

That didn’t mean you wouldn’t be a little shit about it.

“You’re going to have to try harder than that, darling,” he purred. You batted your lashes and grinned.

“Well, if the world’s greatest detective didn’t see that one coming, I would have been concerned.”

His piercing blue eyes studied you from the other side of the screen before he leaned back in his seat and waved his hand. “Legs up on the desk. Spread them.”

Your breath caught in your throat. He wouldn’t…oh, but he would. There wasn’t a more secure line in the world than this single video call. Bruce would never risk anyone overhearing the two of you discuss the family, the Bat, or the Justice League.

And he certainly wouldn’t risk someone overhearing this.

You complied with his order, but you made sure to take your time. Other than his button down, you wore nothing else except a pair of heels that he had commented on once about how nice they made your ass look. With one heel on his desk, you slowly raised your other leg and planted it on the solid mahogany of his desk. Spreading your legs, your glistening cunt was revealed to the camera and Bruce let out a low, throaty groan as he ran a hand over his face.

“God, I wish I was there to taste you,” he murmured. “Look at how pretty you are.”

Heat rose to your cheeks and you almost turned away from him. A diamond ring sat on your finger, marking his claim on you, and had been sitting there for a few years now but he still made you feel like a bashful idiot. Bruce leaned closer to the camera and hummed.

“Wet already,” he commented. “Touch yourself.”

Your hand moved without another thought and you slid the pad of your middle finger over the nub at the top of your cunt. A hiss of air escaped through your clenched teeth as you touched your aching clit. It had been played with for days now with little relief. Your pussy fluttered at the thought of finally getting to come apart. Maybe Bruce would allow you this opportunity.

“Good. Now, slide one finger in there. That’s a good girl.” His voice lowered and neared the gruff register of the Bat as you slid your pointer finger into your weeping cunt and sighed.

“Doesn’t feel as good as you do, sir,” you whined. 

“Oh, really? You need a cock inside of you to satisfy you?” You squirmed at his words, your cunt tightening around your finger as if it recognized the lack of a thick, curved dick filling it. Bruce chuckled at your neediness.

“You know where the toys are, darling. Go get yourself a few things and then come right back.”

You were up and out of the seat in a second. A wooden chest tucked deep in your shared closet held a collection that the two of you had amassed over your relationship. You grabbed a thick, silicone dildo that was similar in thickness and length to Bruce’s. Hurrying back, you returned to the seat and spread your legs up on the desk once more while displaying your find to the camera.

“Good girl. You’re going to be good for me, right? You’re not going to come until I say so.”

“Yes, sir.” He was always a good dom. Bruce needed this control and you were glad to give it over to him. Bruce could be intense, but he never pushed your farther than you could take. So you knew whatever he had planned right now had to be good.

“Is there lube on the toy?”

You quickly added some waterproof lube to the tip of the dildo and held it up for him to see. He nodded approvingly and a tiny thrill shot through your chest.

“Now take that cock and press it against yourself. Keep your eyes on me, darling. I want to see you like this.”

His words lit your nerves on fire as you followed his order. Bruce was sitting up straight in his chair and all of his attention was focused on you. Hell, if he was Clark, the laptop would probably be destroyed from heat vision based on how intently Bruce watched you.

“Fuck yourself with it, darling. Ten strokes.” He counted you through the strokes and you moaned, your head falling back against the leather chair as the dildo filled you up and scraped against your walls.

“Stop!” You immediately stilled your hand and whined at the injustice of it all. Bruce sat there with a grin and you knew at that moment, you were screwed.

“Did that feel good, baby?”

You cracked one eye open and sent a halfhearted glare towards the camera. You ignored his chuckle as you shifted slightly and the dildo shifted inside of you. Bruce settled back in his chair.

“Again. Ten, nine, eight…”

He made you do this four times before you were a panting, writhing mess. Pleads of mercy fell from your tongue as you looked upon your savior. Bruce’s gaze was hungry, flames burning in his icy stare.

“Please, sir,” you whimpered. “Please, let me come.”

Your legs were shaking from stimulated nerves and frustration and tears leaked out of the corner of your eyes. You were seconds away from sobbing solely because you were so damn horny, you couldn’t think.

“Take the toy out,” he ordered.

With a trembling hand, you pulled out the dildo and hissed as it brushed against your sensitive walls. Its silicone body was drenched in lube and your slick wetness and you knew your next plan of action.

Raising the dildo to your lips, you winked at the camera and pressed a kiss to the tip.

Bruce stood up from his seat, his cape flaring out behind him as he moved, and planted both hands on the table his computer rested on.

“I’m going straight to the Zeta tube and will be home in five minutes. If you aren’t on your knees and begging for my cock the second I walk into that bedroom, you won’t come for the next week. Am I understood?”

“Yes, sir.” With a triumphant smirk, you ended the call and stood on your shaky legs. You would take the next few minutes to rest before you got into position. You had a feeling that you would get plenty of rest after he fucked you to sleep.

Tag List: @someoneimsure @perpetual-fangirl900 @visagebrise @alexxavicry​  @the-wayward-daughter @cursedandromedablack 

[gffa]

ALL OF THIS WAS SO GOOD FOR ME.  Dick gleefully saying, DID YOU SAY THAT OUT LOUD, THOSE WERE THE WORDS IN YOUR MIND, AND THEN YOU SAID THEM RIGHT OUT LOUD? because roasting each other is how Robins how their love for each other, but also Dick being the one who gets the complicated feelings Damian is going through and the complicated things going on with Bruce. Of course Damian’s stirred up about this, Bruce has proposed to Selina, but they can’t get married until Selina’s name is cleared, and the only person who can do that is being sheltered by Talia, so they have to go see her, and that’s going to be complicated, and Damian has to deal with that he doesn’t really think his mother and father were getting together, but it’s another to have it truly nailed down like this, and that they’ve all lived so long with Bruce never having that kind of personal relationship in his life and Damian’s trying so hard to say that father’s choices are his own, it’s not my role to care about that. To which Dick just laughs in his face, he’s making fun of Damian because it’s funny, but also blowing right through the idea that Damian’s not allowed to care about this or have upset feelings about it. But it’s also that Dick understands Bruce in a way that Damian doesn’t, partly because he’s an adult, partly because he’s the oldest and spent the most time with Bruce in his life (and probably a little bit partly because Dick recognizes a whole lot of Bruce in himself), that this is hard for them because Bruce didn’t tell them beforehand, and that’s Bruce’s complicated relationship with asking for anything for himself in a selfish way. It’s especially good because Dick is absolutely right, it’s paralleled to everything Selina says to Talia in this arc, about how Bruce is this incredible, amazing fighter and detective and all that, but underneath it, he’s human, he’s broken, he’s full of flaws, and she loves him because of that person.  All throughout Dick’s conversation with Damian, he’s basically saying the same thing--you’re allowed to have complicated feelings about Bruce Wayne the person, rather than Batman the World’s Greatest Detective.  The person they all love is the broken, flawed, complicated person under the cowl, not the brilliant genius who terrifies criminals. All of Damian’s complicated feelings are understandable and okay, he’s allowed to have them, even if they’re sometimes going to get a little obnoxious teasing because it’s not the end of the world. And that Damian has someone who sees him and understands him and is there with him.  Dick’s waiting on those steps because Damian’s there, but also Bruce is his dad, too, of course he’s there with Damian, he’s given all of this the same thought.  He’s just older and come to his conclusions sooner, so now he can help baby bat get there, too. ANYWAY, THIS CONVERSATION IN THE MIDDLE OF THIS ARC WAS SO GOOD.  BATS ARE ALLOWED COMPLICATED FEELINGS AND DICK IS THE BEST OLDER BROTHER/FATHER FIGURE AND DAMIAN SHOULD BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS BECAUSE HE’S SUCH A LITTLE GUY WITH SOME REALLY OVERWHELMING FEELINGS.  AND SOMETIMES BATS DO HAVE EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY CONVERSATIONS.

[popculturebuffet]

Batmarch: The Secret Origin of Batman's Trophys (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Batmarch, or celebrations of all things that go bump in the dark knight

Today we've got a special treat... and i'm not just talking the nice art Kev had comissioned! Looks really good and I really appcirated it. Thank you KEv and thank you Alan Patreon. It was a nice suprise gift.

As for what this is about, this was a fantastic idea Kev cooked up: the batcave is one of the coolest hero bases in all of fiction. The layout is never 100% consitant across media but your usually guaranteed a batmobile, a big ass computer at the center, water falls, and over time a display for various costumes from past sidekicks, alternate outfits etc.

What really spruces the place up are three distinct decorations that we almost always see in the comics and ocasionally in other media, if not live action since these bitches would be expensive to make: A giant dinosaur, a big ole penny, and a giant playing card of a joker. These three are staples of the bat cave, to the point when the original was caved in during the earthquakes that ravaged gotham in the build up to no man's land, Bruce made a point of fishing them out for the new cave he built after that traumatic year.

Yet most of us.... have no idea where he got these wonderful toys. Even I didn't. The Joker Card comes from an obvious grinning source, but what CASE did it come from? Where did he get that dinosaur? What was someone using that giant Penny for? It's a question i've asked once or twice but never looked into. Kevin did though, and while the through and lovely DC wiki helped him find each one, he went the extra mile, asking for a review. And I was entirely on board with this comission as I just.. never had those answers and I doubt i'm the only one whose wondered what the context for these things were. So today we're looking at three disntinct golden age batman stories, at a time when goofy nonsense reigned supreme, logic was optional, and weird shit like this was just another day in the batcave. IN other words, this is going to be a LOT of fun so join me under the cut as we look at gambling themed death traps, penny obessed gangsters and batman being hunted by the most dangerous game: mechanical dinosaurs.

The Giant Joker Playing Card:

(from Batman #44)

I love these old titles, such flair and cheese. It's incredible.

Anyways this one starts because Joker decides to hit an off the books casnio after his win. Luckily for them, he just wants to play which feels entirely like a joker move: instead of robbing an easy target that can't call the cops and that the mafia presumibly running it would be stupid to retaliate on, he decides "fuck it let's try this whole gambling thing men, sounds like a hoot and a half".

And sure enough.. it goes really well. He spends what's implied to be the whole night just winning and winning until he cleans house. This being the joker this gambling bug can only end one way

I just.. love everything about this. Joker just had fun at a casnio and turned it into a death trap. It's such a brilliant setup.. and one that while nicely goofy, is also well done: it fits the joker's unpredictablity to just go a gamblin and it fits him just as much to turn a new hobby into a death trap. I also love Lewis' reaction calling it SUPERGAMBLING., like he's some gambling expert and most dangerous game shit is a type of gambling.. which given we're in the dc universe, you probably DO need a name for this kind of thing in the crime world.

So he set shte perfect trap: he has a random balding middle aged man tell the two he has info on a recent raidum theft, raidum a hospital badly needs. To save the presumed orphans about to die without eating their radium, Batman and Robin go to a sketchy island with one house perched on a hill

The World's Greatest Detective.. sees NOTHING wrong with this and goes ahead and gets caught in the most devious trap imaginable.

Several head injuries later, our heroes wake and joker reveals the radium theives, who he captured for this scheme but have kept the radium's location to themselves. This is by deisgn: the joker wants the two and their "radium screts" as the ante here, along with Robin to make sure Batman does this. Batman repedately states "I don't gamble' as if logic suddenly works on the clown man who set up a gambling death trap, so Joker reveals if Batman won't play his three supergambling games, he'll just kill the hostages. Batman reluctantly agrees,

Game 1 is super pinball.

But when Batman proves to be an expert at the snes Joker goes with plan b.. his giant pinball table of death. Sorry his giant SUPER pinball table of death.

As you can see the same joker face from the card is here and you see it all over his lable. it seemed to be Joker's logo back the. I love this whole setup and mostly show it not only because it' sdope but because those pins must've been what bumpers were. I also had no idea PInball used to be a gambling thing. Makes sense, it's just fun to find out.

The game goes well mostly though one of the guys nearly slams into a pin. Thankfully Robin is an expert gymnist and batman smartly saved laucnhing robin till the last minute and Dick's able to save the goon.

Game two is super rolling some dice, which apparently used to land on numbers. This yugioh style death game involves our bait being tied to polls on three of the numbers. If Batman guesses wrong, someone dies. Or maybe not since the board is pretty damn big. Not every death trap can be super murder pinball. Batman spots some mud on the dice though and correctly guesses they'll pivot. This is the weakest of the death traps here, a bit convolunted, not really guranteed to be as deadly. I know the chance of nothing happening is part of it.. but with pinball there's really almost no chance you won't hit the bumpers. Here it feels like pure luck or simple cheating that both dice flew at the joker.

Next game and the one that introduces our prop, though the dice apparently are also in the cave sometimes which I love. The game is a game of cards.. batman has to correctly guess which face matches the door Robin and the hostage goons are in or they'll choke to death on the deadly gas released inside.. and naturally he figures out it's the Joker card. It's too joker not to work.

Turns out though, naturally the joker isn't playing fair both having a final one on one game ofr him and Batman and having his goon go to get robin behind the joker card door... and Robin dispatches him hilaroiusly and awesomely

With that the hostages are free and the final death game begins. A giant super roulette wheel with both batman and joker getting in a slot. looser gets crushed alive. It's an awesome finale, and it fits joker to put himself at risk: after all he risks his life all the time why wouldn't he for such a fun gag?

Batman's able to get the wheel to turn fairly and then escape it, leading to a chase. THe Radium Theives agree to give themselves and the radium up but there's still the matter of the joker and we get a short but neat final chase as Joker uses the dice against the heroes then jumps off a cliff, gambling his life one last time.. and rightfully batman isn't betting on the joker having died.

Gamble With Doom is an excellent story. While the trophy we get out of it is only in it briefly the story itself is pure fun. It has some fun dated elements like Bruce's opinon gambling is EVILLLL and the old fashioned designs on the traps, but it's pure fun. The traps are clever, the tension palpable and the climax great. The gambling motif's really fit the joker and it adds up to an all time great joker story with a suprise impact. The Trophy Itslef. is barely in it but Robin DID break a guy's face with it so i'll say it was still cave worthy.

(From World's Finest #30)

The Penny Plunderer is a name I had heard but had no real context for. I assumed he was some goofy silver age villian with pennies for eyes who drove around chucking pennies at everyone.

I am an artiste.

Instead it's just a guy in a suit. He has the backstory of any good golden or silver age villian to justify his gimmick

I love.. everything about this backstory. It reads like if a writer was given the thought exercise "Make the pettiest batman villian origin you can find.". I mean other villians gimmicks make sense: Poison Ivy was a botonist, Mr Freeze had a horrible accident, the penguin was born looking like a penguin with a lot of money, the Joker fell into a vat of chemicals and came out a clwon, the riddler liked puzzles.

Here Joe just... got screwed over by pennies a lot. Even funnier is that the last one has nothing to do with pennies. Like.. even if it'd had nickels he'd still be arrested.

So Joe vows since pennies runied his life, he'l lbecome the penny! Sadly this does not mean him dressing up like a giant penny with a cane and top hat.. nad now I can't show you it that last drawing put me too far behind and... oh fuck it.

Instead he just wears a suit but makes his gimmick pennies. Commit to the bit man. I do get it as some golden age villians were just guy in a suit, even Joker and Penguin technically counts but one is a clown and the other is a rich penguin man. They have mor ethan just "suit and a vendetta against pennies that somehowturns into stockholm syndrome.

So the penny plunderer begins his reign of terror, setting up a penny arcade as a front, and cashing in a roll of pennies in the most diabolical scheme ever devised by man.

A true criminal mastermind.

Batman picks up on this pattern because it's what he does and finds his next case, a coin and stamp exibiton with a rare one cent stamp. It's here we meet the reason we're here: the giant penny!

Yeah to my shock the penny had NOTHING to do with the penny plunderer other than being at the site of one of his robberies. He prefered just.. chucking pennies at people.. which is awesome and a truly great tactic only topped by Batman's use of said giant penny

I adore the fact that this iconic artifact is there not because it was seized from the villians or a police options.. but because, presumibly, Bruce thought this penny he found was kick ass and bought it off it's actual owner.

Most of the theives escape but they find one willing to squeal. Unfortunatley he dies for his hubris

Yup bet you weren't expecting the penny guy to kill someone and to see his corpse weren't you but here you are. Also batman is apparently a cop now. George Lopez tried to warn us...

But we didn't listen! We didn't listen!

A fight breaks out at the gambling parlour and we get two of the best moments in batman history that much like the blue beetle film, ar ehighly underated.

I just.. I get the sense that is how batman ALWAYS plays pinball. Just judo kicks it every time even as bruce wayne. Both bruce wayne and batman have been banned from so many arcades.. often the same ones. Perks of having a secret identity. We then get coyne once again THROWING pennies at someone and it working. I don't know why he hasn't been brought back with the telkeentic ability to contorl pennies. Give him a copper helmet and a proper costume and oh dammit..

Then Joe knocks batman out iwth his one weakness: a roll of pennies. He's trapped them in the parlor for your standard batman death trap, having removed their belts and ripped out the phone lines as usual. He then throws them a few pennies when then prove to be a mistake as it's time for SCIENCE WITH DR. BATMAN, who uses one old penny, copper, and one new penny, zinc to make a battery. Good thing jimmy didn't wish it away THIS week.

The cops arrive to free one of hteir own and batman finds a clue once the parlor is cleared of gas. Turns out Coyne was catering a penny slot party for a rich billinoare's houseboat, and naturally their filled with gas. I swear it's always gas with these golden age villians. Get another knockout device fellas.

With that our final chase enses as Batman and robin chase Coyne and while he nearly bests them with a good game of 1940's donkey kong

He's foiled by his own gimmick: he has only pennies but the pay telephone.. dosen't.. take 5 seperate pennies for some reason? the hell? I get payphones not taking pennies once they went up to a quarter but come the fuck on 1940's payed telephones. he's foiled.. and sentenced to death.

Yes folks that's the cannoical till some lucky fellow brings him back fate of the penny plunderer: PUT TO DEATH.

This story is as you can tell nonsense that's only gotten more hilarious with the passage of time and I loved every page on it and on getting the panels for this review, I only found MORE hilaroius nonsense to laugh at. We have a story where a guy with a penny gimmick smacks batman with a roll of pennies, trips robin with more, kills a man without pennies, is foiled by pennies yet somehow dosen't actually use the giant penny that's the only reason people know he exists. It's beautiful bollocks and worth your time.

(From Batman #35)

As I hope you are, this issue had me hooked from the first panel: Batman vs dinosaurs being forced to fashion a bow and arrow for some reason. Yes... fuck. Yes. Also nice of bruce to eat Ollie's lunch.

Okay so this story starts, as many real life stories do, with a billionare having a zany idea; Mr. Hart is a man who puts on shows: ice follies, aqua carnival, 40's razzle dazzle type stuff. For his latest idea though he's going above and beyond: a DINOSAUR ISLAND. With mechancail dinosaurs and cavemen who throw giant sponges at you. Thankfully spongebob wasn't born yet but his great great grandpappys quarepants did the honors. Honorable old fool.

To ramp up the insanity, Mr Hart is inviting a club of big game hunters to eat mammoth steak with batman.

If that weren't enough, and in any other golden age story it might be... our heroes get CHALLENGED at dinner by one of the rich assholes. Yeah turns out rich assholes who hunt innocent animals for sport and eat reheated mammoth aren't the most stable indviduals and Mr. Breech scoofs at the fact Mr. Hart says Man is the most dangerous game. He's hunted man, they went down like cowards. COWARDS. He feels Batman couldn't hut a dinosaur without his gadgets, and certainly not his bare hands... even though as this issue with prove and has already shown early man had tools.

To prove his point he challenges batman to a fucking challenge: survive on Dinosaur Island: no utility belt, no vehicles. If the dinosaurs touch him he looses. Mr Breech will man the controls. Honestly i'm convinced Breech knew hart well enough to know he'd both agree to this for the publiclity and why he'd invite batman and robin and just wants to play iwth giant mechanical dinosaurs and also batman. Which granted if I were invited to this sort of thing i'd also want to chase batman with mechanical dinosaurs for fun, who wouldn't, so I totally get it and respect the game.

Hart is on board, offering 5000 to the winner's charity and Batman is like "Why the bat-fuck not. Let's go".

Now you might suspect Breech's real motive is trying to kill batman. I mean you have a setup where batman will be without his weapons, the plausable deniablity of a machine malfunction and a secluded island with 24 hours to kill the batman. And you'd shockingly be wrong. Breech really just wants to prove dinosaurs are the most dangerous game so when that Jurassic Park he's working on opens no one will object to him hunting them for sport.

But his plans are foiled by Chase, anothe rich knob who wants to kill batman and robin to, as he says later form a "crime combine". So he wants a bunch of middle aged guys drinking beers to yell at him for not training the joker on tackling well enough. I see.. well played.

So the game is afoot and our heroes take a bit to catch up, first brushing off a real rock among the sponge rocks as a mistake. Theis ends when a Triceratops to trismash them into a tree. Batman calls for a war council on a nearbye island but naturally THAT'S NO ISLAND

Batman fought a mechanical fucking seamonster. That.. that's cannon. To almost every batman timeline. God bless you Golden Age, god, bless, youuuu. Also i'd be stupid if I didn't say that Tally Ho, Batman! is one of the greatest phrases in batman history up there with "I Am the night" , "I'm batman" and "Something something joker's boner".

So now the games for their lives, Batman and Robin don't have to play fair and start fashioning bows, arrows and knives out of mechanical dinosaur bones. You know.. sometimes this job can be draining: 2-3 reviews a week, many a plan having to be delayed due to a review taking longer than expected.. but then you get a review where Batman and robin have to outrun a manical billinoare who hyjacked dinosaurs from a diffrnet billionare who was having a charity dinosaur hunt with batman and robin using a third billionare's dinosaur, while fashoining weapons from mechanical dinosaur corpses and fashion a kite from a mechanical ptreadon and remember why you love reviewing stuff so mucH: sharinng a good story with the world and finding a good one or two yourself while your at it. And thanks to Kev i've found three truly wonderful, truly bonkers batman stories, with this one being the easy winner. It's both a decent enough concept for the time and hilariously insane.

And I ddin't make up the kite thing: when, after a night of survivial, Robin brings up the batplane, Batman has an idea: since the flying dinosaurs are on a programmed pattren rather than directly controled, they can use them to make themselves a kite yor style.

So to win the day Batman has a plan: he uses himself as bait since Robin's the more agile of the two, and has robin CATAPULT HIMSELF into the air after chase, who is riding on t-rex back with an army of dinosaurs.. and how does he defeat chase' smighty dino army?

It's both genuinely clever and wonderfully bonkers: Robin defeats an evil billionare RIDING a mechanical t-rex.. with water balloons.

Also props to this story: in the previous two the trophy was impressive.. but it was taken from what felt like a minor point in the story: the card flip game was fun as was batman slammin ga door on a guy, but it's sandwitched between far more elaborate death traps, while the penny, again awesome, wasn't even something the penny plunderer used. Batman just bought it off some offscreen character to relive fond memoreies of crushign some crimianls alive with it. Here the main villian ROAD IN on the thing. Granted he still had to likely buy it off his actual owner, but this time at least a criminal actually used it as a murder weapon. I can see Batman wanting this thing for his cave.

Batman chases chase over the now still dinosaurs and punches the guy out. With this Batman's saved the day AND won the bet. 5000 for batmobiles for kids, donate your batmobile today!

As for chase...

With that our story and this trilogy comes to an end.. and as I said, it's great. check out all three of these issues their a lot of fun. Next time dc puts some up for sale I may have to get some 40's batman, this stuff is golden.

Thanks for reading

To conclude batman month: Wait'll you get a load of this

[chocolateteapotsvis]

Halbarry Recs: POV Outsider

What is POV Outsider? For shipping purposes, it's a story focused on the romance, but is told by a character outside the main ship. Ollie POV, Batman POV, anything goes!

Ephemeris by mehmehmeh (@mia-nna)

The world’s greatest detective has got some things to say. 

“Bats ... perform the vital ecological roles of pollinating flowers and dispersing fruit seeds; many tropical plant species depend entirely on bats for the distribution of their seeds.” (wiki)

you've got the best of my love by finalfrontierpioneer (@finalfrontierpioneer)

Five times Hal goes to Oliver for romantic advice, and the one time he puts it to good use.

Hal's just trying to be a good boyfriend; Oliver's got no idea.

Just the Two of Us (We Can Make It If We Try) Ch5: Ice Cream by layspotatochipabs (@layspotatochipabs)

Bruce stalks Hal and Barry. He's so fucking done with their flirting; why can't they just get together? If they don't, he'll resort to writing fanfics about them violence (telling them about their mutual feelings).

I Came in Like a Racquetball by ChocolateTeapots (@ tacky self-promotion)

When Hal suggested a series of sports competitions with his square of a best friend, Carol assumed that meant he’d be out of her hair.

All Carol wants is to get her fucking work done. Is that really so much to ask?

Or: Silver Age Hal's attempts to seduce his best friend through sports competitions of increasing ridiculousness, as seen by an exasperated ex with better things to do.

Young Padawans by mehmehmeh (@mia-nna)

In which a green cupid shoots a few arrows to push two heroes together. Every Mulder needs a Scully and vice verca. How else will they prevent Mars Attacks?

(Hal Jordan + CWverse, fledgling halbarry with a platonic flarrow and slight hints of olicity)

Was learning @shehungthemoon ALSO loves this POV the catalyst to finally post this specific list? I'll let you decide!

This is one of my all time favorite things, and I'm also behind on my Halbarry reading, so if anyone else has recommendations, I'd love to hear them!

Also, for fics actually about Hal's birthday...

Pic inspired by you've got the best of my love by finalfrontierpioneer, because this image has been stuck in my head since I started illustrating these lists! (So I completely forgot that I already rec'ed this on another list AND did an illustration for it! I'll mix things up more next time!) Stock photo reference because hands are hard

And if you're looking for a couple more, (and don't mind more tacky self-promotion), here's Vampire Dinah putting up with Vampire Hal who's totally, absolutely, going to follow orders and kill Barry, and (not Halbarry) Random Mook #5 in a Gotham terrorized by a Bruce Wayne who modeled his hero persona on a different fear

[dancepartyaroundthefairyring]

Idea: batman knows the leagues secrete identity's and they don't know his and they're (Hal and Iliver mostly) kinda passed. Because of course Mr. Needstoknoweverything went and stalked them and found out and is gonna lord it over them

But no, actually, Bruce has just met them all pre-hero meeting and they're all just a lil bad at hiding it like

Hal - met this test pilot when WE was partnering with Ferris Air once, kinda cocky and a loudmouth, but overall good at what he did. Around the time the partnership was ending he heard the pilot was missing, tried his best to help cause, ya know, world's greatest detective. But couldn't come up with anything. Then bam there's this glowing green space cop in the same city, really into jets, same kinda cocky loudmouth (Hal does not change how he talks or acts in or out if the suit)

Barry - little harder but maybe another partnership with Wayne tech where Barry was working. Was doing a tour and met this ultra smart guy working there. He was still young so B keeps an eye on him in so he could maybe offer him a job later on down the line. Hears the guy got hit by lightning and then bam a speedster is running around the city

Oliver - went to high-school together. Weren't very close but still friends, B knee Ollie was always amazing with a bow, amazing shot. Drifted apart after high school but when the Green Arrow first shows up he knows. Also. The facial hair. Its just very distinctive. At this point B is just wondering how no one else has pointed that out

Dinah - met her at a gala, Ollie interduced them. Was at their wedding. It wasn't hard to connect her to Black Canary when he already knew Ollie was green arrow

Clark - it was an interview. Superman was already becoming pretty well known, at least the suit was becoming iconic. Though The Bat and Supes had yet to meet. Clark rushes in a bit disheveled (he had just been heroing and thought he'd be late for the interview) except he's actually early and only B is there. Clark had missed a button on his shirt and that iconic S was just peaking out of this very buff black haired reporter so B pulled out the full Brucie on him and "fixed" his tie, fluttering Clark who doesn't notice B discretely and secretly fixing the shirt to hide the S

Diana, Arthur, and John don't have secrete identities really so they don't count

[002yb]

I think Jason has a little obsession with Dick's smell, I mean, it's canon Dick smells really good and people can recognize him by smell

My boy Jay is just there, hugging every pillow with his boyfriend scent, trying to memorize his perfume, blushing when the smell makes him remember something that happened last night

Okay but what if it's Jason smelling like Dick that gives away their secret relationship ahhhhhahahaha. No one can really say anything though because they don't want to be the creep that recognizes someone by scent (it's just something they noticed in passing and continued noticing because Dick smells nice and it's distinctive, they swear).

But oh, back up. Lets say Dick is in Blud fulltime. So there's a commute for the booty call. Either Dick will stay over with Jason (and Jason will smell faintly of Dick) or he'll be the one going to Blud (in which case the lingering scent is stronger).

Only in this situation, Bruce can't figure it out. The smell would be familiar, he just can't place why because Dick isn't over very often. When he is - it's as Nightwing and they all make sure to not have any discernible scents to them.

So Bruce is just haunted by this knowing something but not remembering it fully. So he would sit and stew and be broody over it. And Tim, bless him. It's getting in the way of Bruce's productivity so he checks in on what's up. To which Bruce is just like, 'Recently Jason (my darling bb boy) smells different from usual.' And Tim is l: because why the fuck did he ask, okay. And Bruce explains how it's familiar, but it's not Jason and - oh, god. The realization that his darling boy is sleeping with someone that Bruce knows well would be gutting.

Meanwhile Tim, knowing full well that it's Dick giving Jason the d, plays dumb like no tomorrow. No involvement. Just judgment because really, sniffing out J's boytoy? That's over-the-top dramatic even for Bruce.

But Bruce wouldn't be deterred because that's a good idea, Tim ('it was a warning that this is w e i r d, Bruce'), thank you.

And then Bruce promptly goes about trying to discreetly smell all his colleagues and associates - even some of his adversaries which is dangerous, but the hazards are worth it because Bruce needs to know who's screwing his boy.

Of course Jason picks up on Bruce having lost his mind. Or maybe Tim complains to him about it because it's a lot (even if Tim wouldn't be above doing it -- even if he had done it when he first recognized the smell, himself LOL).

'It's Dick.' Jason tells him, point blank.

'Yes, I'm aware of your proclivities.' Bruce would tell him, nonplussed by the inferred crassness. Just. World's greatest detective extraordinaire. Meanwhile Tim would be in the background, embarrassed for his mentor because wow, Bruce.

Needless to say this goes on for a while. Perhaps indefinitely. At least until Dick comes around the manor as himself. At which point Bruce would surprise pikachu meme face in that stoic Bruce way.

Also, I recognize that I went on a tangent of Bruce being an embarrassing dad hahahaha. As far as dickjay content goes, what you wrote is so cute though. 10/10!! Thank you for such a cute submission, anon. Jason curling up around something that smells like Dick in Dick's absence is so sweet. ;U;

[staywhelmedbatfam]

I’d Fight Superman Just to Hold Your Hand (2/2)

~Older!Damian Wayne/Kent!Reader~

Summary: Bruce finds out about the date. Of course, teasing of the World's Greatest Detective ensues.

Part One / Part Two (You’re Here)

I had posted this second part on AO3 back in February and felt too lazy to post it here on Tumblr. Now that I’ve graduated college, I have free time again and am remembering to post this! Enjoy.

***

Batman was in the middle of sharing a debriefing with the rest of the Justice League members on the Watchtower. Seeing as he’s Batman, he picked up on Superman’s impatience while he talked. He decided on ignoring it but after ten minutes of constant glances at the clock and thumb-twiddling, Bruce couldn’t take it anymore.

Batman turned to the Kryptonian, calling him out mid-sentence with a hint of irritation in his voice. “Clark. Is there somewhere else you need to be right now?”

“Sorry. I’m just on edge because (Y/N) is on her first date,” he paused and squinted at the Bat before finishing, “With your son.”

Bruce’s eyes widened from surprise beneath his cowl. He recalled Damian requesting not to patrol tonight and saying something about going to Metropolis. Any time something related to dating came up in the Manor, Damian would usually roll his eyes or scowl. Bruce had just assumed he was doing something with Jon. World’s Greatest Detective, everybody.

“What?” he asked with a deadpan expression, his tone flat – maybe a little disbelieving. It was more of a rhetorical question than a genuine query.

Flash spoke up before anyone else could. “Woah, hold on a minute. Robin is dating (Y/N)?”

“You two could end up becoming in-laws,” Hal chimed in with an amused grin. Batman let out his usual annoyed grunt as he narrowed his eyes at him. Superman also gave his own glare. “Too soon?”

A moment passed and Clark turned back to Bruce with a surprised expression. “You really had no idea?” When there was no response, he continued. “Damian approached me a week and a half ago, asking for permission to take her on a date.”

“Kid’s got moves,” Flash mumbled to himself.

Bruce ignored Barry’s comment. “I see…”

***

Having returned to the Batcave from the League meeting, Bruce sat in front of the Batcomputer. He was doing some research and typing out case notes, but those weren’t the only things on his mind. His conversation with Clark has been replaying ever since he left the Watchtower.

Drawing him from his thoughts, Alfred entered the cave and came walking over with a tray in his hands. “Would you care for some refreshments, sir?”

“No. Thank you, Alfred.”

“Say, Alfred…” Bruce suddenly said after a pause – stopping Alfred from walking away – and sat back to stare at the computer screen for a brief moment before turning to the butler. “Did you know that Damian and (Y/N) were going on a date tonight?”

“Of course, sir. You didn’t?” he replied, surprise lacing his words and evident on his face.

“I–,” Bruce sighed then shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “No…”

“Perhaps you should spend more time with Master Damian as his father and less time as the Batman.” Alfred began walking away again without receiving a response to his suggestion.

***

Lois was still awake doing some late-night work on the couch when Clark got home from the meeting. He plopped down next to her and let his head slump over onto her shoulder. She took one glance at her husband and shut her laptop, sitting it on the cushion next to her.

“What are you so mopey for? You have to face the fact that our daughter has grown up.” Clark let out a grumbled denial.

“But why did it have to be Damian?”

Rolling her eyes, Lois tried to cheer him up. “Look at it this way – we don’t have to worry about telling anyone else about the ‘Super’ secret. Oh, and she was in the door exactly at ten.”

There was a brief silence and then Clark mumbled, “He always has been very punctual.” He let out a heavy sigh. “It feels like it was just yesterday when she walked through the door for the first time.”

“Now she’s graduated high school and starting college in the fall. It makes me feel old,” Lois responded. Clark nodded in agreement.

The two of them remained on the couch in silence. Sometimes light conversation would break up the quiet, but it wasn’t necessary for them to talk. They just enjoyed sitting with each other for a bit longer before going to bed.

Masterlist

Tag List: @drayshadow @gryffindorqueensworld @instabull​

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[ao3feed-superbat]

Watching Our Stars Align

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/ZdXRpQE by ClarkeStetler There’s a new dating app in town, but this one is just for superheroes. You don’t use your name or callsign and there’s no photos, only a short bio. The idea is to talk about personal lives AND hero-ing without specifics, keeping both their secret identity secret and their hero persona in place. Dick signs Bruce up. Clark signs up willingly. They accidentally match up and even for the World's Greatest Detective, it takes a while to figure it out. In part because he isn't trying to figure it out, that's the whole point! But also because Boy Scout Superman is definitely straight and definitely not a dude who hangs out at a farm in his free time. And Superman is confident that Batman probably lives in some random cave system like the gremlin he is, and doubts he even HAS a secret identity because he is so consumed by his Batman persona. Even if he did, he definitely wouldn't join a dating app. That would require wanting to interact with other people and also the capability to smile. Words: 3166, Chapters: 1/14, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: F/F, F/M, M/M Characters: Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Alfred Pennyworth, Damian Wayne, Titus | Damian Wayne's Dog, Jonathan Kent, Justice League (DCU), Diana (Wonder Woman) Relationships: Clark Kent/Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent Additional Tags: Clark Kent is Kon-El | Conner Kent's Parent, POV Alternating, Past Clark Kent/Lois Lane, Bisexual Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Damian Wayne is a Little Shit, Online Dating, Identity Porn, Batman Thinks Superman is a BoyScout Alien, Superman Thinks Batman is a Loner Grimlin, Neither is Wrong read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/ZdXRpQE

[cutiecorner]

Evil

Ficlet• agere • Regressor! Bruce Wayne, Caregiver! Alfred Pennyworth

Woah two fics in two days! I guess the inspiration fairy is just blessing me at ungodly hours as a hobby. Anyway I finally finished up this cute concept inspired by @paper--moons from a while ago! I love how it turned out, I hope y'all enjoy!!

The manor smelled heavenly when Alfred was baking. He had a supernatural power to make the smell so tantalizing that anyone on (or beneath) the manor's grounds could sense it, and no one could resist its magnetic pull. Not even Batman. So, on one particular night that the Batman had been particularly stuck in his cave, Alfred just happened to start baking.

Evil.

This was a tactic, and it was evil.

Bruce sat at the bat-computer (which he was too tired to deny the name of) and stared blankly into the LEDS until his eyes stung. Well, they were already stinging. 27 hours without sleep will do that to you. But he had to resist the temptation beckoning at his senses somehow and staring at the already-solved-but-is-it-REALLY-solved case in front of him was his last line of defense. Bruce knew very well that if he closed his eyes the full force of their heaviness would weigh him down like the heavy batsuit he forgot to take off. He knew very well the cold ache of exhaustion would creep up his spine, and the warm, comforting scent of cookies would become too much to bear. He did not know very well why Alfred was doing this to him. The world's greatest detective had yet to connect those dots.

Yet still, he read lines of text over and over until he knew he was going on memory alone. He shifted forward in his chair, nose as close to the screen as he could get it. He wondered how long he could hold his breath. He was wondering so hard he didn't notice his eyes drift shut and his chin grow heavy in his hands. Hold yourself together, he thought, you're strong, you're Batman, you can resist this.

He could resist. Until he heard the humming.

Alfred was standing next to one of the vents, and through the vast silence of the manor, all sound carried. Especially the notably loud humming. Am I Blue. A childhood favorite of Bruce's.

And thus the last bastion of the Batman was gone. It was wrung dry, not a drop of vigilante verve left in the battered body wearing the suit. Just Bruce. Sad, tired, lonely Bruce.

Pushing himself up from his chair felt like the most exhausting exercise of the night. Nevermind carrying 3 grown adults to safety, his own bodyweight was the real knockout. He felt the consequences of the past 48 hours in every step, especially those up the obscene flight of stairs he was just now realizing were a bad idea. At the very top, taped neatly to the door, was a note:

No batsuit in the manor.

Bruce slumped, using what little energy he had to repeat the message in his best nagging-alfred impression. Mercifully, the source of the note had also left a robe and set of pajamas hung dutifully on the doorknob. Bruce shucked off the suit layer by layer, leaving an ever growing pile of kevlar to deal with later. Once he slipped into his night clothes, he felt a deep sigh escape him, a breath he didn't know he was holding.

The light of the manor hallway felt actively warm compared to the cold damp cave, like stepping outside on a spring morning. The smell that drew the bat out of the belfry hit him like a wave once the heavy metal obstruction was cleared. Bruce felt his feet move on their own volition, injected with an increased furver which deposited him in the kitchen in no time. The kitchen was only home to an empty cooling rack, but the accompanying den had a more smug inhabitant - plus a plate of cookies on the table.

Bruce crept up to the entryway, hiding behind one of its pillars as if the keenly trained spy he was avoiding could be fooled by a wooden beam. Said spy simply took another sip of his tea, not looking up from his book but failing to contain his smile. Bruce's eyes wandered to the plate of cookies once again, and upon the realization that they were his favorite, he begrudgingly toed out from his hiding spot.

"Master Bruce, so you've finally decided to join me."

Bruce could only articulate a hmf in response as he planted himself on the couch, having no energy to humor Alfred's teasing. He silently reached over for a cookie and returned with the whole plate, settling them beside him as he curled up into the couch. His toe found a soft blanket (one of his favorites), and he quickly cozied himself into it. His muscles finally relaxed. He listened to the sound of the crackling fire, the soft crunch of cookies, and a page turning.

Bruce opened his eyes to peek over at Alfred, who held an old copy of Romeo and Juliet. His face twisted into a pout. Absolutely evil. Alfred, of all people, knows very well that it's Bruce's favorite. He may be the only one who knows. If asked (in his adult frame of mind) he'd prattle off some high minded comment about the tapestry of tragedy in Hamlet, but Alfred knew better. Alfred was there when Bruce fell in love with Shakespeare, and it was listening to Romeo's Soliloquy.

"You're reading that on purpose." Even Bruce would describe his own admonishment as grumpy. He hated that word, especially when it applied. Alfred was undeterred.

"Whatever do you mean, sir?" The satisfied smile hadn't left Alfred's lips. Bruce's voice was small and quiet now.

"That one's my favorite…"

Bruce was curled up, knees to his chest, blanket covering everything but his eyes. The fibers of the blanket tickled his nose as he tried to hide his pout.

"Oh dear, how rude of me. I suppose I'll just have to read for the both of us now won't I?"

Bruce didn't respond to Alfred's goad. He knew whatever he retorted, Alfred was gonna do it anyway. He munched on a cookie and resigned himself to his fate.

Alfred began Act II. Bruce knew the scene very well, recounted his favorite theatric iterations in his head as his eyes grew more heavy. He remembered each set of the Capulet's garden, the beautiful roses, the fateful trellis. Though the sight was beautiful, no performance held a candle to Alfred's. In Bruce's heart, Romeo's soliloquy was always to be delivered by a young butler just before bed. As the scene approached he found it's setup incomplete.

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.

Arise, fair sun, and -"

"Wait, Alfie."

Bruce used the last of his strength to push himself off the couch, draped in his blanket, and slot himself in beside Alfred on the recliner. A voice small and cold in the back of his mind chided, you're too big to cuddle, but it was recanted by the warmth of Alfred's arm wrapping around him, tucking him into the crook of his neck.

"Better now?"

Bruce sleepily nodded.

"Okay bubby …"

His eyes drifted shut. The steady thrum of his father's heartbeat, the crackling fire, and the sound of a soliloquy finally easing him down to sleep.

"But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?

It is the east, and Juliet is the sun…"

[twistedtummies2]

Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes - Number 2

Welcome to A Gathering of the Greatest Gumshoes! During this month-long event, I’ve been counting down my Top 31 Favorite Fictional Detectives, from movies, television, literature, video games, and more!

We’ve reached our penultimate choice in the countdown!

SLEUTH-OF-THE-DAY’S QUOTE: “I Am Vengeance.”

Number 2 is…Batman.

As I said in my rules at the start of this event, I wouldn’t be counting characters I consider more “superhero” than “detective.” HOWEVER, some exceptions do apply: I spoke of the Question in my Honorable Mentions, and Rorschach and the Shadow earlier in the main countdown. These are all characters you could classify as “super detectives”: where they do count in the vein of superheroes (or, at least, pulp-style heroes), but also do qualify as detectives, by virtue of them BEING detectives being a major character trait and element. Out of all the comic detectives out there, in the annals of superhero fiction and anything similar to it…I think it’s fair to say none are as well-known, or as well-enjoyed, as Batman.

Frankly, when a character gets their start in a comic series called “Detective Comics,” and one of their titles is “The World’s Greatest Detective,” I challenge anybody to say they DON’T count. :P

Anyway…I’m quite sure Batman hardly needs an introduction, especially for those familiar with my page, but I might as well go into the basics for anyone who’s been living under a rock for almost a hundred years: Batman is one of the most popular superheroes of all time, if not perhaps THE most popular. The fictional character’s biography is as follows: as a child, Bruce Wayne – the son of Thomas and Martha Wayne, a pair of wealthy philanthropists and the owners of a large and thriving corporation – saw his parents murdered by a mugger, shot down in a back alley. The experience scarred Bruce for life, and he vowed to symbolically avenge his parents’ murder by devoting the rest of his life to fighting crime. He wanted to make sure no other children would experience similar horrors, as long as he could prevent it. He studied forensics and various sciences, trained his body to peak physical perfection, and – inspired by the sight of a bat flying through his window one night (bats being a phobia of his as a boy) – the now-adult Bruce chose to adopt the image of a bat as his motif. He thus became Batman – the Dark Knight, the Caped Crusader – a mysterious vigilante who stalks the streets of Gotham City, facing everything from mad supervillains to common hoodlums, in a neverending war against crime.

The real-life origins of Batman are almost as interesting as his fictional beginnings. Batman was created due to the popularity of Superman, whom many consider to be the first TRUE superhero. DC (which went under another company name at the time, for the record) wanted to create another superhero who could match the Man of Steel. Artist Bob Kane and writer Bill Finger, taking inspiration from various places, jointly created this new character…although I should state that, for a very long time, Kane took sole credit for the matter. (By all accounts, Bob Kane was something of a swindler behind the scenes; for example, Batman’s very first appearance was a direct ripoff of a Shadow magazine story, and this apparently was Kane’s idea.) The thought process behind Batman was to go the opposite direction of Superman: if the Man of Tomorrow was bright and colorful, then the Dark Knight would need to be Gothic and shadowy. If Superman was bold and jocular, then Batman would be stoic and sardonic. Where Clark Kent came from ostensibly humble beginnings, Bruce Wayne would come from wealth and stature. And of course, while Superman had almost Godlike superhuman abilities…Batman, rather famously, was the first “proper” superhero to have NO powers at all.

This is the point where Batman’s abilities as a detective very much come into play. Because for all of the many things you can point to for Bruce Wayne’s success as a crimefighter, I think it all comes down to him, again, being a sort of “super detective.” Even the Shadow, Batman’s chiefest inspirational source, had arcane abilities at his disposal: Bruce Wayne has no otherworldly talents at all. He’s simply a man, with a boatload of money, a brilliant mind, and a LOT of stubborn determination. Many of the best takes on Batman use their mind, not just their fists and gadgets, to tackle problems: he searches for clues to track down culprits, analyzes the way certain criminals tend to operate in order to guess their next move, and frequently uses his wits to outmatch them and find ways to defeat them. Whether he’s facing mortal foes like the Joker or Catwoman, or superhuman beings like Clayface or the Orca, Batman’s greatest asset is that he thinks everything through, and keeps track of everything he’s learned, so he can pursue, battle, and capture the enemies he faces.

To say Batman has been adapted to other media beyond the comics, or even that the comics have continued to evolve and be printed as time goes on, is almost a redundant fact. Indeed, Batman has become one of the most frequently reimagined and re-interpreted characters in fiction; I believe he might be the single most frequently used and reused superhero, in particular, of all time. It’s gotten to a point where actors who get to play the character have declared him to be on par with such famous roles as Hamlet. Meanwhile, writers, critics, and psychologists have compared him to Greek heroes like Prometheus and Odysseus. When a character gains this much clout, and has lasted for so exceptionally long, with so many different interpretations – from colorful and campy to grim and gritty, from noir-esque to flashy and wild – I think they’ve more than earned their place VERY high in the ranks.

That and…well…I love Batman. A lot. So do I really need any of the other reasons I just described to begin with? XD

Tomorrow, the countdown concludes with my Number One pick!

CLUE: “Once you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”

[ceristhehedgehog2]

DamiOlive: A Kindred Dynamic.

⚔ Damian Wayne X Olive Grace ✝ (OC)

Theme: Colorblind. Rachel Grae.

So… DamiOlive. Yeah. It sounds like just another shipping of self-inserts with a canon character, right? Essentially, yes. OCs tends to be self-inserts in some cases, whether they are Mary-sues or just a rip-off of the creator themselves, projecting onto a cartoon character they adore most. I don't take offense to non-completely original characters, no, no. Far from it. I get inspired by them CONSTANTLY when I make OCs of my own—like my Olive Grace displayed on the board above!

I also get inspired by the love of cartoon characters too. Damian Wayne, is a prime example. I LOVED this spoiled brat despite how controversial he was. My adoration for him came around on the DC: Animated Movie Universe, which is how I got onto DC to begin with. Since then, I have become INSPIRED by Damian's story. Sure, he was an asshole on numerous occasions, a troll, an entitled brat, arrogant and prideful, but most of all: A kid. He's a kid who struggles with his identity. I think this quote resonated with ME and possibly others too, if you're a detailed geek as I am, "You! Talia! Ra's! You're all in here! (...) But where am I?" I felt resonated with him here! He resembled me as my former 13 year-old self in the center of family problems, trying to figure, "What do I want to be when I grow up? What will be my job in the future? Will I make it? Will I make my family happy?" Plus! He has been given high expectations since he was born! Damian Wayne was gonna be the next leader of the League of Assassins, trained by Ra's Al Ghul and Talia Al Ghul; his villainous mom and grandfather. He was raised to be a leader and a killer. When he's taken in by Batman/Bruce Wayne, the greatest detective, he learns between the lines, "Justice, not vengeance", that killing threats to help the world is only as bad as those threats too.

His growth has been my motivation and I think he, along with other characters got me to OC making to begin with. As a character creator I am. 😉 And I happened to find how fun it was!

Shoutout to @chrry-blvssom , as she helped me out while I was working on Olive Grace, especially toward her character design and major traits. So Chrry, if you're reading this, you are the most creative bestie in my heart. Thank you so much!! 💕 🙇 🙇 🙇

Olive Grace happened to be a… difficult case. Mostly because at the start, I hardly got much information on DC itself to construct ideas for her character. I shipped her with Damian, not just because I adored him, but because I felt it would be fun to explore, especially how he is as a character. Problem is, I struggled to figure out these issues: What would their dynamic be? How can it work?

I've seen Damian with other characters before and went through their dynamics. Notably, these two; Raven from the DC: Animated Movie Universe, which felt like a beautiful soulmate romance and Flatline from the Robin comic series, which felt like enemies-to-lovers, ripping-your-heart-out story. Literally. Nightstar doesn't count. For some odd reason they're paired even when they're… basically relatives? ⚠

I always try to make my shippings unique in its own form, and have traits that compliment the other:

Shadow the Hedgehog and Lunar Andhera the Wolf, are deeply intertwined mobians with their similar histories. The Ultimate Lifeform. The Moon Deity Reincarnated. They had responsibilities for their existence and lost what they loved as a price. They're equally mature, while one is cool-headed and motherly and the other is easy to retaliate and tempered. A sun/moon dynamic! 🐺 🌙 ☀ 🦔 💕

Sonic the Hedgehog and Solana An-Nur the Lion, are pure opposites; Sonic is laidback and hyper while Solana is utmost responsible and mature. The Fastest Thing Alive. The Strongest Warrior Existing. But they compliment each other through her encouragement to lighten up and the other to consider his responsibility as a hero. Together, they're adventurous Twin Flames that work proudly side by side. 🔥 🦁 🦔 🍃

Damian is intelligent, arrogant, entitled, a troll, aggressive but extremely loyal and kind at heart. He just needed the time to acknowledge his own good part of him to recognize this. He's also stern and all-out business oriented when a situation of importance is at hand. Heck! He puts the people he cares about first before himself! He did so for the Teen Titans in Rebirth! He did so for Dick Grayson! He did so for his father! Jonathan Kent! Even Tim, despite how much they don't get along! Maya too! But sadly, because it's DC, she hardly seems to exist anymore! ☠ RIP Maya Ducard.

All in all, he's an experienced force, despite his rather young age.

Then I thought: Opposites of nature, romantic dynamics by the ✨ INTERNET ✨ Brought to you as… Demons & Angels.

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Yep. I've gone for the Angels & Demons route!

It can also be considered as Fallen Angels & Demons, because of how deep (at least, I see how deep) their stories are.

If you want to learn Olive's origins, you can find it on this link: https://www.tumblr.com/ceristhehedgehog2/723404300830883840/remake?source=share

ANYWAYS. I've even looked at the 16 MBTI Personalities to see if I can forge the characters and how they behave; namely the ISFP + ENTJ. Damian is an ENTJ. ENTJs are known to be very confident, arrogant, critical, insensitive, logical and decisive, which fits Damian pretty well, as it is the "Commander", which he was groomed to become.

Olive Grace as an ISFP, better known as the "Artist" means she's very much the opposite of Damian; artistic, creative, principled, curious, carefree, considerate, sensitive, emotional and spontaneous, which fits how she grew up to be the person she is.

Their natures will clash at the beginning. Damian is an arrogant, entitled kid who thinks he's better than everyone else. Olive quickly becomes tense by his behavior and will leave him alone. Though. Olive is not afraid to speak her mind if Damian does happen to be in the wrong and will call him out for it. She's honest and quick to call him out but she is considerate of how she'll act because truly, she does want to befriend him. It's just difficult how to be THAT with his abrasive nature. But, thanks to her virtuous demeanor, she has the patience to try again and again with time. She's usually laid-back and observant, which helps whenever he needs to vent or explode in a fit of rage and/or annoyance from the blue, also allowing him to gain her trust as it goes on.

I thought over as I developed these two, how they have interesting parallels I managed to decipher as a pairing alone, while looking back on the character's stories separate;

Olive is a virtuous, principled, clever, daring, carefree soul who got into her own cruel world too young. All she wanted was to live her current life, experience the beauty of her home and encounter new experiences while mastering her dual-natured gifts. But she had to face the trauma her fallen-mother caused from the brink she was born to the rest of her life, which caused her holy-mother, her adopted-father, even her humanity. She was forced into this lonely responsibility of becoming her own hero who'd fight and defend from her own world destruction, fighting for her survival from greedy people who seek her power, being faced with constant mental torment of her insecurities and sins, while keeping herself in check from being corruptible and succumbing to sin while constantly feeling like an abomination to all around her and to herself. This drove her to a point, where she attempted to kill herself at roughly nine years old, in her fleet of guilt and depression. She lost so much so young. But in her story, she'd eventually learn that life was most beautiful if she didn't focus on the bad things in the world; She gained faith, friends, human experiences, love, forgiveness, happiness, a hope to finally sleep without worrying of the horrors she'd face alone.

Damian is an intelligent, arrogant, entitled, confident, lethal boy who was raised in a cycle of violence and grooming. He was raised to become the ultimate warrior. He would lead the League of Assassins side by side with his grandfather without question. He'd kill any threat to his family's cause. That is, until he met his father, Batman. He hated the ideal rules his father upheld. They were against what he learned in the league. He'd disobey orders, he'd be violent and utterly disrespectful, but in the end: He was a boy who sincerely wanted to prove himself. He was raised in a world of a kill or be killed mindset. He's determined and haste to make his family proud but he becomes insecure of his high expectations being given to him. Worse, he had a difficult sense of identity between the morals his family gave him. He never got to be his own person and he's plagued by this. When he took on the role of Robin, he found morals more beyond killing, he found friends, a family he can commit to, a purpose to fight, love, confidence, hope, experience being a kid, while all in all: An opportunity to be his own person. Not just a dictator or the sidekick, the demon or the bat: but a boy who redeemed himself.

They both grew up in ill-destined backgrounds but they fought against it all for their own bright futures. They're opposites but their parallels eventually connect them into a friendship of direct communication, teasing, sincerity, and fun to a romance of deep understanding with acceptance for each other and themselves.

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WHEW! That took awhile! In fact, I don't understand why I didn't do this sooner, lmao! But. This was just all for fun and creativity, plus I love going into detail of ideas and concepts. Hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think!

— Have a lovely day/night! 😉