#and it won't necessarily impact how people live

[reinventinglia]

seeking your higher self in 2024

hello, angels ⭑.ᐟ today we'll be taking the first step to our personal journey to be our higher self and achieve our dream life. an important reminder is that it is never too late to change and to allow yourself to be. if you are reading this and you feel like it is too late or that you're so far behind everyone else, or thinking "can i even do it?", take a deep breath, because you can! if this is your case, i highly recommend watching this incredible bevy smith ted talk, which is a major inspiration for this post.

i talk (or rather write) a lot, just so you know.

it is what you make it

you need to understand your power. life is all about perspective, about what you put into the world and what you'll receive in exchange. as much as i believe the "it is what it is" mindset is important so you can come to terms with your own reality (there's no moving forward if you can't accept where you are), this is just as important. this is my own interpretation of this mindset, but i'd love to hear yours as well!

many things in life are out of control, but some—and a lot of them—you can control. you can choose your own mindset and the energy and intention you're letting out to the world, as well as how you think about yourself and whether or not you believe you're worthy of good things. trust me, you can't move forward and achieve your higher self if you don't believe you're worth it! you need to work on your self-concept in order to be yourself, because otherwise being yourself means being worthless, or whatever it is you repeat to yourself.

you are in control of your life.

i'm not talking about specific situations that unfortunately you can't control, and i'm also not saying you deserve what you're getting, because no! no one deserves bad things happening to them, but unfortunately they do happen regardless of what we think or believe in—even people who you believe have the perfect life have to go through rough times.

still, in the end, you need to take charge. you might not be responsible for what happens to you, but you can control how you react to it. it won't be necessarily easy or comfortable, but it needs to be done. even a small step can make the difference as long as you're moving forward.

one thing you'll need to be working on for the entirety of this journey is your self-concept—there are a lot of things to talk about it, but for now focus on understanding how you view yourself. in order to do so, here are some prompts that can help you with it:

⭑ how do you currently perceive yourself?

⭑ what is one negative self-belied you hold? how can you challenge it?

⭑ when was a time you doubted yourself? why did that happen?

⭑ how is your self-talk and how does it impact you?

⭑ what is a part of yourself you're critical of? why?

⭑ what is a part of yourself you're proud of? why?

find your motivation

i'm currently in my early 20s, which is a strange period in life. of course i've also thought my teenage years were strange, but being in your 20s is different (maybe in ten years i'll say the same thing about being in my 30s). it's not all about comparing dating or being popular or getting the best grades or whatever, now the people i'm surrounded by are having jobs, or being the perfect university student, or living overseas to pursue their professional athlete career, or even doing scientific research with influential people! and they're all my age.

it's very intimidating to realize that age doesn't mean anything and that you can do anything regardless of being younger or older. but it's also reassuring, because it allowed me to understand that we all have our own pace—which means that you're not behind just because you think you are; in the end, your time will come. the time where you'll be satisfied, happy, and thrilled to live your life because it's finally what you wanted! but for that to happen, you have to do the work.

to start seeking your authentic self and live as your higher self, you need to do the work. the first thing is looking inside and realizing your reasons.

of course being authentic itself is a motivation, because who wants to live in the shade of how other people want you to be? putting on a mask everyday is exhausting and you can't live like that.

but this is not easy. it is an uncomfortable, hard, and hurting journey, but it leads you to healing, to real happiness. this is exactly why you need to have your motives, because you need a strong foundation so you won't give up. i say this because i have given up a few times, which is exactly why i might have started this journey at the age of nineteen, but i only properly started it this year, at the age of twenty-one—two years after i convinced myself i'd do it.

here is a journal prompt that might help you get to the source of your motivation:

⭑ what are your core reasons for wanting to change?

list your emotional, personal, or practical reasons for pursuing this journey. anything can be a motive, really. maybe you just don't resonate with your life, or you want to reinvent yourself. whatever it is, as long as it comes from a place of authenticity and truth, it will help you during this journey. embrace whatever it is that's motivating you and allow it to guide you to a life that resonate with your true self! the path may be challenging, but it's always worth it.

after thinking about why you want to change, work on these prompts to understand exactly what you want to change:

⭑ if you could see your life in five years, where do you want to be?

⭑ what do you look forward to most in the future?

⭑ what area of your life do you want to improve the most? list five things you can do in order to achieve that

⭑ make a list of how your life would be if you could be and do anything in the world

being authentic

a great part of becoming your higher self means understand your authentic self. now, what does it truly mean to be authentic? of course we all know the definition: being true to yourself, to your values, and to your beliefs, even when others may disagree. but let's take one step further and ask yourself: what makes you you?

i wouldn't be surprised if many of you came up to me and said that you actually don't know the answer to that question. most of us have become used to suppressing your true selves and the best parts of who we are so we can fit in other people's expectations. but it's not okay to make yourself smaller just so someone else can feel better. if you recognize someone in your life who falls into this category, it's time to walk away! trust me, you'll be better off without that kind of energy surrounding you. instead, focus on people who uplift and inspire you to be authentic.

being yourself is a blessing, and for this i'll be quoting shakespeare: “to thine own self be true”. this means not worrying about pleasing other people and remaining true to who you are—therefore, being authentic, which is the ultimate goal. as bevy smith so beautifully said in her ted talk, “nobody can be you but you, so you might as well show up and show out”. make the most of your individuality and celebrate it!

⭑ is there a difference between how you act in public and how you act when you're alone? if yes, why do you think so and do you believe one act is more authentic than the other?

⭑ if you could be like anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

⭑ if you fully believed you're worthy and enough as you are, how would you be/act?

get to know who you are

knowing yourself is a lifelong journey because we're constantly changing and evolving, and you can't truly be you if you don't know yourself—quite obvious, right? yet, for so many people (and trust me, i've been there before), this isn't easy.

often, it's because they don't actively spend time with themselves, which may sound ridiculous at first, because logically we're always with ourselves, but simply existing isn't enough to know yourself. to truly understand who you really are, you need to engage in self-reflection, which is why i've been leaving journal prompts for each section of this post—that's truly one of the best tools to connect with yourself.

with that being said, you need to take some personal time for and with yourself. some people struggle to even say their favorite movie, or their favorite color, or something as basic as their favorite food or drink. the truth is, if you don't know the basics, knowing your deeper complexities, which is vital to understand who you are, will become challenging. so, take the time to ask yourself some questions! reflect on the things you might easily know about your close friends or family but might not be able to answer if they ask you.

⭑ every day before you sleep, make a list of ten things you like. it can be a movie, a color, a piece of clothing, or products. anything

⭑ if you could describe yourself in three words, what words would you choose?

⭑ describe two significant events in your life you believe have shaped you into who you are today

⭑ what are your beliefs and your personal values? list at least five

putting yourself out there

another important aspect of knowing yourself includes putting yourself out there. as someone who has struggled with social anxiety for a long time—and still does—i can tell you this: letting your fears control you won't do you any good. stepping outside your comfort zone is essential for growth, even if it means taking a small step—after all small steps will still lead you to where you want to be, as long you're moving forward.

make an effort to go out. you'll learn a lot about yourself by visiting a new park or attending an event you've never attended before. if you have the means, consider traveling as well! the key is getting to a fresh environment where you won't have to mold yourself into whatever labels people have put on you. you can also start a new activity, such as taking a poetry class, exploring a new sport, or joining a club. each experience is an opportunity for self-discovery.

even if you struggle with social interactions, which i totally understand, meeting new people is also a very interesting way to learn more about yourself. it means you'll be exposed to different perspectives, which can reveal things you've never realized before.

you might meet someone with views so different from yours that you can't help but wish you never fall into that mindset, but you can also meet someone whose perspective resonates with you, and you'll discover qualities you aspire to embody. each interaction offers you a chance for growth and a deeper self-understanding, which is, again, essential!

this doesn't mean you have to mold yourself to be like that person—by all means, don't! you don't have to be exactly like someone else in order to achieve your dream life. however, you're allowed to be inspired by them. most of our beliefs and values come from experiences we've had with other people—it can be something as simple as believing that family comes first. you can learn a lot about your own values and who you are deep down by interacting with other people.

⭑ what three things you admire in your loved ones?

⭑ how have your friends impact your beliefs?

⭑ what beliefs do you share with your loved ones?

take a note, give a note

as i mentioned earlier, many people who are my age are making extraordinary accomplishments—including friends of mine—and it has brought out a lot of different feelings within me. insecurity was one of them, because i often questioned to myself: if people my age are able to do all of these amazing things, why am i not doing it? what's preventing me from being as accomplished as they are?

the truth is, we don't have to be like everyone else. i've said this before, but it's important to understand that having different trajectories in life is included in not being like everyone else. just because someone your age is achieving a certain goal doesn't mean you should be doing the same thing—maybe that's not even what you want. understand and accept that you have your own path.

for example, i have no interest in being an athlete or to engage in as many academic activities as some of them are. and even if i did want those things, it's important to remember that what's meant for me will come in due time; maybe this just isn't the moment yet. this doesn't mean that i'm behind, it simply means i have my own pace. i'll continue to work towards my goals, because giving up and letting the universe do absolutely everything is not something i believe in, but i don't have to exhaust myself just because i'm not achieving everything i want right now.

now, with all that being said, implement a new ritual in your life. understand that each person has its own journey to fulfill and that everything you want and are meant to have will come in due time doesn't mean that you'll get over it easily. i understand that it can be hard—which is why we seriously need to work on our issues with believing everything has to happen in this exact moment.

the take a note, give a note ritual is supposed to help you with it, and i believe is a simple and effective way to do so.

the premise of it is: when you see someone having what you want, or what you think you want, instead of letting feelings of envy or jealousy take control, take charge of those feelings instead. ask yourself: is this what i really want? do i actually want what to be where that person is? regardless of the answer, as long as you're honest and true to your feelings, tell yourself this: “their wins have nothing to do with my worthiness.”

then, give a note. the note is nothing more than a sincere "congratulations". you can comment on their post, message them, or even call them, just don't let your previous envy and jealousy take control. allow yourself to be genuinely happy for others without having to diminish their achievements. as bevy smith said in her ted talk, “when you remove malice from your heart, not only do you feel better, you look better.”

don't punish yourself if it doesn't come naturally to you. unfortunately, believe it or not, it does happen to some people, especially those who were raised in an environment filled with negativity and competitiveness. instead, adopt new habits in your daily life to get rid of it, such as focusing on the good aspects of your life and what you're grateful for (i highly suggest doing a list of things you're grateful for each day before sleeping), practice mindfulness, and go to therapy or talk to someone about it.

⭑ how do you handle envy/jealousy?

⭑ what are three self-defeating thoughts that show up whenever you feel envy/jealousy?

⭑ how can you overcome negative thoughts when you feel envy/jealousy?

⭑ remember a recent time when you felt envy/jealous of someone and why. how did you handle it? what did you do to overcome that feeling?

thank you so much for reading, and i wish you good luck and a great life! i talk a lot, but i find each of these topics very important. if you want to talk, send me an ask or message me if you can.

xoxo, lia ✮

[reds-revenge]

My main issue with the conversations we have about media and how moral it is is that there's actual, tangible suffering and death in real life we can work on instead. I don't really care if I'm watching a horror movie that's not giving the women agency because it's not real, but I care very much about women not being assaulted in real life. I only have so much energy, though, so if I focus all of that on how to tell the One Perfect Horror Story, I'm not focusing it on getting women access to healthcare, which is the thing that will really help.

[inkskinned]

one of the things that i think we should pay attention to, socially, about the disney v. desantis thing is that it is really highlighting the importance of remembering nuance.

in a purely neutral sense, if you engage in something problematic, that does not mean you are necessarily agreeing with what makes it problematic. and i am worried that we have become... so afraid of any form of nuance.

disney isn't my friend, they're a corporate monopoly that bastardized copyright laws for their own benefit, ruin the environment, and abuse their workers (... and many other things). this isn't a hypothetical for me - i grew up in florida. i also worked for the actual Walt Disney World; like, in the parks. i am keenly aware of the ways they hurt people, because they hurt me. i fully believe that part of the reason florida is so conservative is because it's been an "open secret" for years now that disney lobbies the government to keep minimum wage down, and i know they worked hard to keep the parks unmasked and open during the worst parts of Covid. they purposefully keep their employees in poverty. they are in part responsible for the way the floridian government works.

desantis is still, by a margin that is frankly daunting, way worse. the alternative here isn't just "republicans win", it's actual fascism.

in a case like this, where the alternative is to allow actual fascism into united states legislation - where, if desantis wins, there are huge and legal ramifications - it's tempting to minimize the harm disney is also doing, because... well, it's not fascism. but disney isn't the good guy, either, which means republicans are having a field day asking activists oh, so you think their treatment of their employees is okay?

we have been trained there is a right answer. you're right! you're in the good group, and you're winning at having an opinion.

except i have the Internet Prophecy that in 2-3 months, even left-wing people will be ripping apart activists for having "taken disney's side". aren't i an anti-capitalist? aren't i pro-union? aren't i one of the good ones? removed from context and nuance (that in this particular situation i am forced to side with disney, until an other option reveals itself), my act of being like "i hope they have goofy rip his throat out onstage, shaking his lifeless body like a dog toy" - how quickly does that seem like i actually do support disney?

and what about you! at home, reading this. are you experiencing the Thought Crime of... actually liking some of the things disney has made? your memories of days at the parks, or of good movies, or of your favorite show growing up. maybe you are also evil, if you ever enjoyed anything, ever, at all.

to some degree, the binary idealization/vilification of individual motive and meaning already exists in the desantis case. i have seen people saying not to go to the disney pride events because they're cash grabs (they are). i've seen people saying you have to go because they're a way to protest. there isn't a lot of internet understanding of nuance. instead it's just "good show of support" or "evil bootlicking."

this binary understanding is how you can become radicalized. when we fear nuance and disorder, we're allowing ourselves the safety of assuming that the world must exist in binary - good or bad, problematic or "not" problematic. and unfortunately, bigots want you to see the world in this binary ideal. they want you to get mad at me because "disney is taking a risk for our community but you won't sing their praises" and they want me to get mad at you for not respecting the legit personal trauma that disney forced me through.

in a grander scheme outside of disney: what happens is a horrific splintering within activist groups. we bicker with each other about minimal-harm minimal-impact ideologies, like which depiction of bisexuality is the most-true. we gratuitously analyze the personal lives of activists for any sign they might be "problematic". we get spooked because someone was in a dog collar at pride. we wring our hands about setting an empty shopping mall on fire. we tell each other what words we may identify ourselves by. we get fuckin steven universe disk horse when in reality it is a waste of our collective time.

the bigots want you to spend all your time focusing on how pristine and pretty you and your interests are. they want us at each other's throats instead of hand in hand. they want to say see? nothing is ever fucking good enough for these people.

and they want their followers to think in binary as well - a binary that's much easier to follow. see, in our spaces, we attack each other over "proper" behavior. but in bigoted groups? they attack outwards. they have someone they hate, and it is us. they hate you, specifically, and you are why they have problems - not the other people in their group. and that's a part of how they fucking keep winning.

some of the things that are beloved to you have a backbone in something terrible. the music industry is a wasteland. the publishing industry is a bastion of white supremacy. video games run off of unpaid labor and abuse.

the point of activism was always to bring to light that abuse and try to stop it from happening, not to condemn those who engage in the content that comes from those industries. "there is no ethical consumption under late capitalism" also applies to media. your childhood (and maybe current!) love of the little mermaid isn't something you should now flinch from, worried you'll be a "disney adult". wanting the music industry to change for the better does not require that you reject all popular music until that change occurs. you can acknowledge the harm something might cause - and celebrate the love that it has brought into your life.

we must detach an acknowledgment of nuance from a sense of shame and disgust. we must. punishing individual people for their harmless passions is not doing good work. encouraging more thoughtful, empathetic consumption does not mean people should feel ashamed of their basic human capacities and desires. it should never have even been about the individual when the corporation is so obviously the actual evil. this sense that we must live in shame and dread of our personal nuances - it just makes people bitter and hopeless. do you have any idea how scared i am to post this? to just acknowledge the idea of nuance? that i might like something nuanced, and engage in it joyfully? and, at the same time, that i'm brutally aware of the harm that they're doing?

"so what do i do?" ... well, often there isn't a right answer. i mean in this case, i hope mickey chops off ron's head and then does a little giggle. but truth be told, often our opinions on nuanced subjects will differ. you might be able to engage in things that i can't because the nuance doesn't sit right with me. i might think taylor swift is a great performer and a lot of fun, and you might be like "raquel, the jet fuel emissions". we are both correct; neither of us have any actual sway in this. and i think it's important to remember that - the actual scope of individual responsibility. like, i also love going to the parks. Thunder Mountain is so fun. you (just a person) are not responsible for the harm that Disney (the billion dollar corporation) caused me. i don't know. i think it's possible to both enjoy your memories and interrogate the current state of their employment policies.

there is no right way to interrogate or engage with nuance - i just hope you embrace it readily.

[elucubrare]

What are your biggest turn-offs when reading/watching historical fiction or retellings of myths?

this is really complicated - i can put it in two boxes, both of which are packed very full.

disconnection from the material reality of the past

when characters display a very specifically modern mindset (about social issues especially, but other stuff too)

(I also get bothered by some kinds of modern language - I don't mind it when, idk, an author uses "sensible" with the modern connotation of "practical" and not the 18th century "emotional" or "empathetic", but "yeah" or "okay," or even, as i found out when someone used it in medieval fantasy, "holy shit" will get on my nerves.)

there are modern things where (made up example!) a character who's supposed to be a cook will talk about making caprese salad for a fancy restaurant in December, and someone snarking on the book will say "yeah, right, they should know better than to make something that depends on a fresh summer vegetable!" and even with greenhouses, that's pretty fair. and that's even more extreme in the past. it's 1650 in Verona, it's December, you cannot obtain fresh tomatoes. i don't think this means that people in the past were, necessarily, more emotionally or spiritually in tune with the cycle of the year, or the labor it took to get clothes, or furniture, or any other material item, and of course wealth can insulate people from some of that difficulty, but it does mean that the seasons had more direct impact on people's lives. It's possible to, for example, buy clothes ready-made, but for anything fancy, it's more likely that it'll be made to fit if it's new, or altered extensively and painstakingly if it's not. that means that tearing or staining a fancy dress isn't just an issue of looking bad - you can't just replace it, and you probably won't throw it out - you figure out how to reuse it. those concerns of access to material goods are just a lot closer to the surface of the world than they often are now.

my objections to modern attitudes about the world are not that people in the past 100% accepted the views of their contemporaries - there were always people who didn't, and it makes sense that a protagonist would be one of them. but people wouldn't phrase those objections in the same way that modern people would - say your main character doesn't want a woman accused of being a witch burned. "God's power is such that the Devil cannot give this woman the ability to sour milk" is most likely going to be more persuasive to the crowd than "witches aren't real." and sometimes that's rough - it's not super fun to read about a Roman with Roman attitudes about provincial wars, or slavery in the city, but I put something down because a Roman character said (in internal dialogue) that he was disgusted to see that a man had been tortured because "Romans simply didn't do that." Historical Romans did do that, routinely - a slave could not testify in a law court unless they had been tortured. Even with distasteful things like that, I'd much rather it just be glossed over than to have them say the "correct" modern thing. It just makes it feel too much like the theme park version of the culture.

Both of these are because of specific things I come to historical fiction for - I want that sense of alienation, the gulf of experience. I hate that most historical fiction (and fantasy set in semi-recognizable periods) characters don't really care about Honor, except as a joke, because I love when characters organize their lives around arcane rules and systems that cause tiny things to escalate into blood feud. I just think they're neat! I like it when people's worldviews are shaped by their lack of scientific certainty about what causes crops to fail! If I wanted to read about people who thought and acted like me, and had lives that were mostly similar to mine, only cooler, I'd just read contemporary fiction.

[mrinafria]

Is Seon Jae corny?

One of the biggest charms of Lovely Runner for me is how it portrays a romance that is youthful, goofy, foolish and yet touches your heart in the most sensible and mature way possible. It doesn't forget it's a romcom at heart and serves us just that, so going into the show expecting a different genre is just unfair to the show (and yourself because you are the one setting yourself up for disappointment imo).

I'm not a big fan of immature childish romance devoid of any substance but that is not what we see here, despite Seon Jae being 19yo (or 20 or 34 yo). There's youthful anticipation, excitement and emotions but somehow Seon Jae's character (and Im Sol's character too, although she's always been 34yo in the main narrative) manages to transcend the notion of age and time with what he feels for Im Sol, the extent of it and the way he acts when it comes to her. Romance today is calculative and is often done in moderation, which is not necessarily a bad thing, because it is essential to learn to love ourselves too as we love someone special, but for both Im Sol and Seon Jae, loving themselves is also intrinsically connected to loving each other. Im Sol learns to appreciate life through loving Seon Jae, Seon Jae loves Im Sol because he appreciates what life has to offer.

This scene, for instance. I've rambled about this in the past too. It always warms my heart to see how, in all the timelines, he never gives up on life itself due to Im Sol not reciprocating his feelings/not remembering him. The guilt/heartbreak, longing and lovesickness are palpable in all versions of Seon Jae across all timelines but every time, he chooses to move forward in life (despite his heart being stuck in time with his Sol-ah), embracing everything life has to offer him. One of the things that becomes evident pretty early on in Lovely Runner is Seon Jae loves life. He may struggle sometimes but he doesn't think of it as a chore or burden to live on. He has things he cherishes, people he hangs out with, his dreams, aspirations, pain and struggle outside of Im Sol. He is not a pushover, he has stuff going on, he has a life. And he's not someone who'll casually say things like "I'll die for you" to anyone just to impress and get them to date him. Such grand statements don't usually make much of an impact on me as a viewer either but here, it somehow just works? Perhaps because we know he loves his life and wouldn't give it up no matter how hard things get, except for when he, his first and only love, part of his soul, is in crisis--tested by fate and time and death--and he is adamant about not letting it mess with his happiness, just like he wasn't ready to give up swimming despite Im Sol's warnings and his existing injury. That is the only time he'd make an exception: choose to live a short, worthwhile life, than live a long one devoid of any happy memories or love. It is not his childishness. In fact, he is doing what many of us can never, ever do. And perhaps that's why it doesn't sit well with some of the viewers; he complicates how we define love, happiness, fulfillment these days.

And come to think of it, he doesn't really say he'll die for her. He says Even if I die trying to save you, it's okay: it's a sad thing, Sol-ah. it's painful, yes, but it's okay. I might be worried for the remaining 14 years of my life, but that's because I'll have very little time to love you, to be in this feeling, to cherish the moments I make with you. I'll be sad that I won't see my first grey hair with you or be with you in so many of your big milestones in life, but it's okay. I'll try to make the most of whatever we get, now and tomorrow.

His sadness and heartbreak comes not from not being able to live his life to the fullest, but not being able to live his life with her. That exact same sentiment is conveyed by the final 2023 Seon Jae too, who doesn't even remember Im Sol or any of his old timeline versions and yet says the same thing.

The 2009 Seon Jae doesn't say 'I WILL die trying to save you'; he says 'if', there is a conditional. Even when he's aware of the impending doom, he doesn't give up on his life, on the 'if'. The guy with that face that has accepted a death that is yet to come, with eyes brimming with tears, with a heart determined to live hoping for an 'if' until then… when this guy makes such cheesy claims about his love and death, it's no longer an empty exaggerated promise. It hits a lot harder and leaves me momentarily breathless. That claim, stemming from the inherent human instinct to just want to be happy, and that non-calculative, selfless, pure kind of love, is exactly the thing I signed up for. That proclamation—simple, corny—is pain wrapped in momentary happiness, and my heart sinks, thinking just how fast he had to grow up in that short span of moments.

Ryu Seon Jae is like a North Star—he may not shine the brightest, but he shines bright enough in the same way, consistently, in every timeline we see him in. He is the star you could identify even in the sea of a million stars. Because that's how distinct his persona is. He may be corny and a loser, but he is corny and a loser exclusively for Im Sol, not in his life. That's the best kind of corny and loser one could find.

[tiredsurvivoronmain]

When they were talking about Wesker, I can't help but when he said this to Jill (when she said it was like living in a nightmare being controlled), I think he was also talking about himself when he said this.

He had only just opened up to her about Piers (apparently the first time he's told her about him years after his death), and it almost felt as if he was confessing his guilt/loss and that he had planned on retiring, Piers being the one to take over from him. He looked vulnerable telling her, the way he held the water bottle with both hands as if he needed something to hold and ground him, like it took real effort to open up (he's still affected by Piers' death). When it came to Wesker, him 'opening up' carried over and he may have confessed how he felt about Wesker still being in his mind, memories and nightmares. It could have also been Piers he was having nightmares about and he struggled to come to terms with the loss. Not necessarily in a romantic sense but it's obvious losing Piers hit him hard. However his relationship/rivalry with Wesker was longer and more intense, it would make sense that he'd still feel that connection to him like an old scar that won't fade and gives him pain. He also uses replicas/weapons that were Wesker's, if he wanted to be done with Wesker, why use them at all? Would he have not had other alternative weapons to choose from? Wesker's dead (as far as he's concerned) yet he still has that connection to him. If he was the one who commissioned the series of weapons or was the one to name them after Wesker... Did he do it to honour his memory? Or that he wanted something of Wesker or that connection with him to stay? And what would Jill have thought of it? Chris using replica weapons of the man that controlled her and made her live a nightmare? "And if you're not careful, it'll swallow you up." Perhaps he said that because that's what has happened to him, that the nightmares of Wesker have consumed him or had at one point consumed him.

The why he looked and acted empty after killing Wesker, you'd think he'd be happy or relieved it was over like the others were. Maybe he was at first but after a while the emptiness began to settle; he trained for so long to fight Wesker, he had a purpose and a goal. When Wesker was gone it left a void that needed to be filled. But something that had such an impact and influence on his life would have left him feeling empty. In a way, he killed part of his identity that day.

Then there's this scene in RE6

WHY was Chris prepared to die because he killed Wesker? As if he felt guilty or regretted it? He didn't know Jake personally, he didn't try to defend his actions or explain that Wesker was trying to destroy the world. Yet he willingly confessed and felt he deserved to be shot for killing him.

It took Chris a strangely long time to answer, why did he have to even think it over? He wanted to take Wesker down for personal reasons and because he was ordered to, it should have been a quick and obvious answer. My guess is that he was having flashbacks to Wesker, possibly his final moments. The way he sounded when he answered was as if he had no choice but to kill Wesker, that it wasn't for the same personal reasons he had before. He had to kill him in the same way of putting down a rabid dog, to protect people and to put it out of it's misery/pain. "I had to, he wouldn't stop. He was beyond saving."

Whether he felt actual guilt/regret for killing Wesker or it was merely a very dangerous tactic to get through to Jake, it's hard to say.

Ironically, there have been many occasions Wesker has aimed a gun at Chris and never fired, not even to miss for plot or as a warning. Jake, his son, did what Wesker couldn't in his 10 years of rivalry with Chris.

And of course, this scene in the RE1 remaster.

I've talked about this in another post but long story short, he still cared about Wesker despite being betrayed by him, that just moments ago shot Rebecca. Chris laughed and mocked him seconds before and was held at gun point, but the moment Wesker got attacked he immediately tried to help/save him. He cared.

And he still did, even after his death. Using Wesker weapon replicas, protecting and defending his son, possibly still having Wesker's STARS knife from the events of Code Veronica...he needs to have something of Wesker to be part of him. Whatever his reasons, despite all the pain, anger and hatred, he refuses to let him go and let the past be buried. He is both haunted and embracing the ghost of Wesker. The longer the absence of Wesker goes on, the more Chris is changing. Deep down he may have been hoping, wanting, Wesker to come back. 10 years pass and there's still no sign of him, the realisation turning into grief and regret. Wesker gave Chris purpose (just like how Chris gave Wesker purpose), now that purpose was gone, things just aren't the same anymore and there's nothing he can do to get him back. Wesker may have been right after all; their fates really are forever intertwined.

[kyoshitargaryen]

shifting tips for neurodivergent shifters!

shifting tips for autistic people, and for those with ADHD and OCD! for scripting ideas, click here! (coming soon!)

hey, everyone! I'm autistic and I have ADHD and OCD -- all of these things have greatly impacted my journey. these are some of the things that have helped me progress with shifting and with getting to a healthy place mentally in general. note : I have aphantasia, so any time I mention "visualizing" it moreso means thinking of it. instead of seeing "visualizing" as something you can't do, put it into perspective of the things you CAN do. if you can daydream, you can visualize, even if you're not physically seeing anything. don't let it stop you!!

tips!

don't think that you can't shift while autistic. I've done it, and you will too if you haven't already. the only thing that could stop you is your own lack of belief.

if you're like me, you take everything extremely literally. that makes understanding what people -- especially neurotypical people -- mean when they give advice difficult and even harder to apply. here's some things that I've realized about common shifting tips.

5 Senses Methods

I've noticed that some people who talk about "using" your senses, don't exactly mean to use them or to force them. for the longest time, I kept getting so caught up in trying to force the experience that I was keeping myself from shifting entirely instead of trying to physically hear something, or taste or smell or feel, focus more on understanding how those senses work. you probably know the taste of your favourite soda. you probably know what steak or chicken tastes like. you know how when you have your mind set on a particular dinner or drink or experience, you HAVE to have it or else you won't be hungry or thirsty or excited? you KNOW what those things taste like. you KNOW what you expect, all while not physically having those things in front of you. try living in that expectation, in the knowledge and understanding of what you're going to get. this also works with general manifestation! think about what you're wanting for dinner tonight. think about your dream vacation destination. just lightly imagine it. you might be able to almost taste it now. you might be able to almost feel the wind on your skin, or a light rain, or warm sunshine. try approaching shifting like that!

I struggled for the longest time over letting myself move when I go to shift. Feeling symptoms go away just because I had to move or twitched unconsciously was so frustrating. I actually forced myself to lay perfectly still on my back even while feeling physical discomfort and pain. yes, I understood that you can move, and that you don't need symptoms to shift, but I was so caught up in feeling the transition and in my body in general that I found it impossible to let go of control like that. when I first tried focusing on the position my body would be in in my desired reality, I focused way too hard on feeling it. and I'll be honest, forcing myself to feel the physical sensation of laying down in a different position did work. I really did feel it. It just didn't help me shift. and obviously the moments where I would become more aware of my body in this reality or I needed to move were practically devastating. but then something clicked. I was so busy trying to feel my whole body in my desired reality that I was only grounding myself in this reality, and I was slowing down if not outright stopping myself from shifting. you know how you breathe automatically until you are suddenly reminded that you have to breathe to survive? or how you don't necessarily feel your knees or your toes until you think about them? you're only aware of the parts of your body that you are actively interacting with. our minds are trained to tune out a large amount of the sensory information going on in our bodies. imagine how exhausting it would be if you had to manually pump your heart. you probably don't feel what you're sitting or laying down on after you've been there for a long period of time, unless you're actively feeling discomfort or pain. take a moment to take stock of your body. now that you're aware of it -- you probably feel so much more than you did a few minutes ago when you weren't thinking of it. keep that in mind! now pay attention to the places your body overlaps. right now, my elbows are on my lap, and my ankles are tucked under my thighs. the places where your body overlaps are the easiest things to focus on and remember. picture yourself in the passenger seat of a car. you're tired, so you're leaning down on the centre console. your head is tucked into your elbow to shield your eyes from light. focus on the parts of your body that overlap. you KNOW how it feels to rest your head in your elbow. you likely know how it feels to sleep in the passenger seat. instead of trying to pay attention to your body as a whole, think of these little contact points. do this for a few minutes, and I guarantee you that you'll eventually begin to actually feel it, or at least, you'll forget about your physical body in this reality. don't make yourself feel this things, just remember how it feels. this way of aligning myself to my desired reality makes the process go by so much faster. once I feel comfortable remembering how my body would feel in that position, I move on to other things. I remember how it would feel to have my fingers run over the seatbelt or the buckle. I remember how the blinker or the windshield wipers sound. slowly but surely, these things build up and then you're not consciously thinking of them anymore, you're just there. but the best part of it? it's so easy to get myself back into the "zone" if I move in my CR. since I'm not trying to feel a whole environment and my whole body at once, I'm able to quickly and easily remember and experience the position I'm in in my DR. I don't worry about symptoms, or even actively notice them. I'm just there. once I have put my focus on those few contact spots, I'm in my DR. then, it's just a waiting game for when I can open my eyes. I'm in no rush, because I'm just relaxing!

Staircase Method

don't worry about visualizing the perfect space. I was so caught up in making sure the amount of stairs I was walking up or down matched the environment I was thinking of. don't worry about that. the only thing that matters is getting yourself to a point where you're relaxed and you can let go of your original reality. I kinda see shifting as removing velcro. your consciousness is velcro'd to this reality, especially when you're inexperienced with shifting, have doubts, or are going through a slump. the deeper you get into a method, the farther you get from focusing on your CR (the fact that you're still there, that you still feel your body, that you still hear and smell your CR environment), the more the velcro releases. if you try to make everything perfect, you're only making yourself realize that you're not actually in your DR, that you're just doing a method. instead, just focus on knowing how it feels to walk up or down stairs. don't worry about a length of time, or the number of stairs. don't worry about any turns or bends, just go straight up or down. once you feel like the "velcro" of this reality has released, you're ready to enter your DR.

Counting

at the beginning of my shifting journey, I was obsessed with making sure I counted correctly. if I accidentally skipped or repeated a number, I would get so frustrated. don't worry about being accurate or perfect. the sun does not rise and fall on your ability to count on endlessly. focusing too hard on counting will just keep you from becoming aware of your DR. again -- try not to focus so hard on the process of getting to your DR, try to just focus on being in your DR.

Just BE in Your DR (or, Let Go of Control)

I have two ways that I love to describe this;

it's like driving a car. when you've reached your destination, you put the car in park, you turn it off, and you get out. you don't drive past it, or keep hitting the gas, you don't assume that you haven't made it yet. you just know you're there.

it's like trying to fall asleep. you might be counting sheep, or daydreaming, or thinking about what you want to dream of, but you're NOT thinking about how to get home, you're not thinking about changing your clothes, or brushing your teeth, or doing your nighttime routine. you're just there, in your bed, waiting for sleep to take you. you know there's nothing left to do but sleep. so let yourself exist in your DR. think of methods as a way for you to pass time in your DR rather than a way of getting there. you're on a long car ride, or the hogwarts express, or in the middle of a lull hour at your job. you have freetime, so you just keep your mind busy enough to be entertained (and possibly ready to go if you're needed). just relax. you're there. you're just don't need to be "on" right now. think of how you mask in social situations, but you unmask when you're by yourself or you're somewhere safe and comfortable. your mask doesn't need to be on! your customer service voice doesn't need to be used. think of it like being idle in a video game!

Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts

especially when I go to shift, I get intrusive thoughts. what if everyone hates me? what if my s/o cheats on me? what if I somehow cause a sequence of events that gets someone or an animal hurt or killed? it doesn't matter if I have things scripted to prevent all of these, my brain thinks them anyway. intrusive thoughts don't bend to logic. so don't try to use logic to fight them. it's gonna sound kinda crazy, but just think the opposite every time they come up. thoughts are just thoughts. even the ones that seem really scary and really powerful.

Call him Voldemort, Harry. Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.

as much as I dislike Dumbledore, he kinda ate here. it's the same thing with thoughts -- if you have an intrusive thought, immediately combat it with the opposite sentiment. it might seem ridiculous or pointless at first, but I promise you, it will work eventually. this has been my favourite way to heal through my anxiety and my ocd. no, it doesn't go away, but I've learned how to manage them, and how to stop fearing them. they're just shadows, and all they need is light to be driven away. have you ever done or said something ironically or as a joke, and then somehow over time it became a genuine part of your personality? that's because your brain is even more literal than you are -- it can't tell when you're doing something as a joke, it just knows that you ARE doing something. that's what "fake it until you make it" is all about. it's how I've completely transformed my world, manifested physical changes, created a better self image and grew my confidence level. one day you'll be thinking poorly of yourself, but then eventually, once you start actively fighting against those thoughts, your brain catches up to them and believes it as fact. that's the magic behind affirmations! don't think you can only use them to shift or to manifest. you can use them just as effectively to make changes within yourself!

that's all for now! I hope these tips help you guys, because they really have changed both my life and my shifting / manifestation journey for the better.

yoshi !!

[sicklyseraphnsuch]

The Duality of Simon (or the Importance of Marcy)

Travel back to the early 2010s, when Adventure Time was still a fairly new thing. The fandom was growing, the theories were flowing. We've had confirmation that Ooo is in fact a post appcalyptic world. And then we get:

Here was living, breathing proof of the intersection between Ooo and our world. Simon Petrikov was a literal connection to the past, and moreover one of the ways Adventure Time really began to develop its inner tragedies.

But honestly, as sad as the Idea of Simon Petrikov was - it remained that he was a relic, an inert tragedy that was a connection to the past, but not necessarily connected to the future.

Enter:

You can mourn the losses of ages past. But it won't necessarily move you to act. Because there's nothing to compel you. You can stand to gain something but it's more important that you don't lose anything by keeping the status quo. In short, there weren't any stakes.

No, not those kind of Stakes... Well... maybe a little

So, bear in mind, Betty won't make her debut until two seasons after "Holly Jolly Secrets". To us, she was a non-entity. Simon's grief over her loss was for the audience, a mostly intellectual exercise. How sad for this poor cursed man to lose the woman he loved - replacing all proper nouns with common nouns because we didn't know Simon either. But his situation is clearly sad, just in a general, unspecific way. Because again, there's nothing at stake here.

Marcy drives thoses stakes up (and into our hearts). Suddenly, Simon becomes Very Very Real because we know Marcy. We've hung out with her for at least five seasons now leading up to the game changing "I Remember You".

By connecting Marcy to this Simon, suddenly we had something to lose - suddenly we already lost something. Marcy gave Simon's curse weight - dimension - texture - rendering it very real instead of a mere intellectual tragedy. Simon matters because he matters to someone here and now, because someone was still crying over him. And we love Marcy. We don't want her to cry.

It was through the Marcy and Simon relationship that we came to learn of and love Simon. Betty came later. Betty came after. We already loved Simon by then so learning of his love story was just building on that love. Naturally, being invested in the Simon and Betty relationship without prior connection to Simon is possible. But the fact that he was already established and endeared to the audience goes a way into investing in the Simon and Betty relationship.

So we get to Fionna and Cake.

We get exactly one scene with the Marcy we know and love. And Simon isn't even in the same room as her.

And the show is fully justified in doing so because Fionna and Cake was a series about Simon and Betty. And Simon and Marcy have little to do with that A story (the love plotline). Even if the B story (the recovery plotline) does pay homage to Simon and Marcy by showing Simon that he does have value, the homage amounts to only a few scenes (maybe cumulatively three minutes of screen time) in the whole series.

However, Simon and Marcy's relationship wasn't just to show that Simon is an integral component to the way Ooo came to be, and his impact on the people he loves. Simon and Marcy's relationship is integral to how we came to love Simon - against all odds and all tenets of common sense, a man that was slowly warped by madness chose to take care of a completely unknown little girl that he found in the wreckage of the world.

The problem here is that Marcy's Simon and Betty's Simon never got to meet in the middle. A lot of this is rooted in the original Adventure Time series where Betty and Marceline never speak more than ten words to each other.

Literally the only time they share the screen (and no I'm not counting Betty bot in Broke his Crown)

Which is BANANAS considering they are literally the two most important people in Simon's life.

And listen, again, by Fionna and Cake, we are invested in Simon and Betty, especially after what she did during the finale. We want to know about them.

And again, the Fionna and Cake series is well and wholly complete without ever having Simon and Marcy talk.

But it leaves a little ache. Because again, the first opportunity to truly love and connect with Simon came through Simon and Marcy. And we never really know how they get on now that they're back together. We seriously have maybe 10 lines of conversation between them since the finale and this includes Obsidian.

Literally, he says hi to Marcy twice and that's it. Very meaningful conversation.

Aaaand there's also the supreme irony where in one relationship, Simon never gets a chance to contribute equally, and in his other relationship, Simon wore himself down to nubs giving all that he had. But this duality within Simon is never really connected. There is a throughline here, his impulse for self sacrifice shares a root for his self centered perspective that blinded him to Betty's self effacing habits.

Now here's the thing, Fionna and Cake also built its conflict around Simon's identity and his self worth, etc. Yet it doesn't really contend with all that Simon has done without Betty, and before Ice King. By centering the narrative on only how he was with Betty (both pre and post Mushroom War), we get very little foundation laid out for what he could do after he says goodbye to her.

And this isn't a mistake because again, the series stands on its own just fine. The story works without it because at least that central relationship of Simon and Betty is fully established. But it does come at the cost of a missed opportunity to fully explore the cause of Simon's myopia, or how living through an apocalypse could reinforce that myopia because Simon keeps romanticizing "when his life was great".

Finally, the other downside is that Fionna and Cake stands on its own, maybe a little too much. It's still based on the characters of Adventure Time, building on the love for the original show. So it would have been a crowd pleaser, shall we say some fan service, to get more of what the original show worked hard to make us love.

[writingquestionsanswered]

How do I portray two people falling in love slowly when neither of them really understands love or has ever truly been in love/loved by anyone? Like, they're both slowly learning what love is and how to love with each other.

Learning What Love Is via Falling in Love

Every person and situation is different, and it also depends on what kind of love we're talking about here. If you just mean that they haven't experienced romantic love, that's a different situation than someone who also didn't grow up in a loving household.

Didn't Grow Up in a Loving Household - Sadly, some people reach adulthood without having experienced consistent and unconditional love from the people who raised them. This can lead to a constant fear of abandonment in adult relationships (including friendships, work partnerships, familial relationships, and romantic relationships), which can result in putting up emotional barriers ("putting up walls") to avoid being vulnerable and giving someone the opportunity to hurt them by giving love and then taking it away. It can also lead the person to pursue unloving /unrewarding relationships, intentionally or not. So, a person in this situation has truly not experienced love, or if someone did genuinely love them, they wouldn't have believed it.

What's important to remember about someone like this is there's a difference between never having experienced love--or not believing it was real when it was being experienced--and not knowing or understanding what real love is. Unless your character lives under a rock, odds are they have been exposed to healthy loving relationships of all kinds over the years. They have associated with people (be they friends, family, neighbors, co-workers, or characters in media) who love and are loved by others... they've spent time with married friends who truly love each other, they've witnessed their neighbors' love for their children, they've read books or watched movies with romantic plots or subplots... So they can recognize love, they just fear that they are undeserving of love themselves (because it was never given to them consistently and/or without conditions) or they're too afraid to trust that love is real.

Some things to consider when portraying this situation:

1 - Awareness of childhood emotional wounds/impact on relationships matters. Many people tend to be aware of their childhood emotional wounds and have some understanding of how they impact their relationships, even if they feel somewhat helpless to change things. Many people seek to heel from these emotional wounds either on their own or via therapy, and that would certainly impact how a person moves through a healthy romantic relationship.

2 - What's different in this case? You'll need to figure out (and portray) what makes this relationship different. A good bet is that these characters feel a kinship due to sharing similar emotional wounds from childhood and having had similar impacts. That doesn't necessarily mean they won't still build walls, be free from fears of abandonment, or will believe the love is real right off the bat, but that recognized kinship creates a bit of traction for the healthy relationship to build and also creates a bit of a mutual safety net... "they won't hurt me because they don't want to be hurt by me."

3 - The subtle signs of love will be the same but probably more reserved, hesitant, and slower. This will be a real "slow burn," and there will probably be some setbacks relating specifically to fears of abandonment and issues of self-worth and trust. The Subtle Signs of Romantic Interest and Love Guide: Writing a Slow Burn Romance Guide: Characters Falling in Love Guide: Creating Romantic Chemistry

Grew Up in a Loving Household But Hasn't Experienced Real Romantic Love - Even when people do grow up consistently and unconditionally loved by those who raised them, people can still get off on the wrong foot with romantic relationships. This can especially be the case when a first romantic relationship isn't loving, because it can lead someone to be in a string of loveless relationships. In this case, the emotional trauma will probably be more subtle... they may not even be aware of it unless a wise family member, friend, or therapist has pointed it out to them. The person won't feel unlovable, they'll feel like they're just not worthy of romantic love. They also probably won't have the same trust and abandonment issues, but rather a disbelief that any show of romantic love must be insincere--like the person must have ulterior motives or something.

In this case, too, it's not that they don't know what romantic love is or looks like. It's not that they don't understand it. It's just that they don't feel like they're deserving of it because no one has ever given it to them before (even if someone did and they simply didn't believe it was real). So the obstacle here will be for the character/s to learn to trust one another, and again--if they have that kinship of having emotional wounds related to love (you could even have one character have an unloved childhood and one character never in a loving romance if you wanted) is still what gives it traction. The links above still apply, again you're just doing things a little slower and navigating the obstacles related to the resulting issues.

I hope that helps!

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[antianakin]

Any thoughts on the Jedi and romantic relationships? I get that they're allowed to love/have feelings and such, but, idk, my understanding is that they generally prefer to have “selfless service to the Republic/Galaxy” as their only major commitment.

I think Jedi can HAVE romantic relationships but they'd look a lot different to what we normally conceive of as a romantic relationship. They'd likely end up feeling closer to a friends with benefits sort-of deal or maybe a queer platonic relationship (without the necessity of being queer, obviously). They can't HAVE a commitment to their partner beyond like... the basic compassion and respect they show to everybody, so the relationships would always end up relatively casual. A lot of people interpret the Jedi as being a basically aro/ace society, so I think that using aro/ace relationships as a basis to understand how they might approach romance is probably a good place to start. One of the things I really like about looking at romances from that perspective is that it really breaks down some of the expectations of what's necessary in order to qualify as a relationship, romantic or otherwise. Sex, intimacy, living together, etc. These are all things that often end up a dividing line between friendship and romance, but aro/ace relationships can blur those lines a lot. So while those things CAN define the difference between friendship and romance, they aren't the ONLY things that could do so and, for some people, might not qualify as a difference at all.

I think that Jedi in general are okay with the idea of relationships being ephemeral and ever-changing. A lot of relationships these days work on the concept that people are always growing and changing and so the perfect partner will grow and change WITH you over the years. But I think the Jedi would accept that that's not always possible and that it's entirely natural and normal for the relationship not to remain romantic forever, but that that doesn't make the relationship meaningless or that any friendship would have to be terminated along with the romantic relationship. Relationships aren't meaningful because they last, they're meaningful for any number of reasons the people involved in them might decide on. Maybe someone went through a difficult mission and what they needed from a partner was very different for that moment, but as they healed, their needs changed and the relationship ended but the fact that this person was there for them would still remain very meaningful and the relationship remains important regardless of whether the romantic/sexual portion of it stayed. Maybe certain people come in and out of romantic relationships with each other, and it's not a will-they-won't-they type of deal, it's just that they gravitate towards each other during different periods of their lives and they allow themselves to just... go where the Force leads them, but it's not what they need or want ALL the time.

I also imagine the Jedi are just impeccably good at long distance relationships because they don't put all of their happiness into a relationship with one person and the relationship is never their top priority anyway, so they can manage being away from someone for long periods of time without it negatively impacting the relationship itself and could probably start the relationship up again years later without it feeling like a big deal.

I personally headcanon that the Jedi don't even necessarily have specific labels for their relationships and there's a lot less of a firm line between things like friendships and romantic relationships for them. A romantic relationship is going to look very different for different people and all that matters is that the people involved in the relationship agree on what it is and what the boundaries are. So two people might be in a relationship that could seem like a romantic relationship but that both people insist is NOT romantic at all. Or the opposite, two people seem like there's nothing romantic between them from the outside but if you asked them they'd both confirm that that's exactly what it is. Labels like boyfriend, girlfriend, (romantic) partner, husband, wife, spouse, etc all tend to come with specific expectations attached to them that the Jedi would probably agree with on an ideological level and just plain be uncomfortable with on a personal level.

This opens the door for the Jedi to have any NUMBER of different kinds of relationships with different people that allow them to remain very fulfilled in their life without needing constant access to a romantic partner, hence being a lot better with the long distance relationships. Maybe they have one person they really like doing more romantic stuff with but there's someone else that they have a more friends with benefits style relationship with and tons of other people that are friends without romance or sexual additions to it that can run the gamut between being mentors, peers, or students of their own. I imagine they'd be pretty open to the concept of polyamory since they don't do major commitments to romantic partners, so the idea of having multiple romantic or sexual partners would be fairly normal and not that big of a deal.

I think Jedi relationships often end up seeming really complicated and difficult to people outside of the culture but, to them, it really is very simple. It's romantic if the people involved say it is and all you really owe your partner is respect and compassion. It's everyone else who has all of these labels and expectations and obligations that make relationships exceptionally complicated from their perspective. If you just open up a little and expand/loosen your definition of what romance or a romantic relationship might entail, there's plenty of ways for Jedi to have romantic relationships. I do think that these relationships end up generally less compatible with people outside of the Order who don't tend to have similar cultural concepts, which is likely what leads to misconceptions like that the Jedi don't allow love or relationships at all (something we see with Padme, who comes from Naboo which does seem to really emphasize familial relationships a lot as something vitally important if that's what you choose to pursue). It might even be easier for Jedi to simply tell people they don't do romantic relationships or to allow people to believe that than to try to explain their ways to people who are just unequipped or unwilling to understand it.

This is also where I think the clones tend to come in as some of the only people capable of truly understanding the way the Jedi choose to do relationships. The clones aren't allowed to form the kind of commitments everyone else would, they can't make promises to each other that they'll be together forever. And I imagine the clones end up prioritizing finding happiness and pleasure any place they can find it above being faithful to one relationship above anything else. Loving someone means wanting them to be happy and if you're able to give them that, even for a short amount of time, then that's what matters. They'd be forced to get really good at long distance relationships and accepting change is inevitable. And while all of this is coming from really awful circumstances, I do think it'd allow them to sort-of build cultural values that end up pretty similar to the Jedi's and would likely REMAIN fairly similar to the Jedi's even in a happy fix-it AU where they gain the freedom to explore more options. So while most non-Jedi have difficulty being in relationships with Jedi because of how different their cultural values towards romance end up being, the clones are actually a lot more able to adjust to that and I think some of them might even specifically PREFER relationships with Jedi to relationships with anyone else.

I'd love to see some sort of Star Wars media really explore this more. The two options that we end up seeing are Jedi who choose to break the rules in order to be in a relationship anyway or Jedi who choose to avoid romantic relationships entirely (either in a situation like Obi-Wan's where he FEELS romantic attraction and has to specifically walk away from the relationship or situations like Mace or Luminara where we simply never see them interested in romance at any point). We see them be friendly with each other and with other people, obviously, and we know from Lucas that they aren't celibate, so the opportunity is THERE to see Jedi in happy romantic or sexual relationships that are simply more casual, but no one's been interested in actually showing or exploring that yet. My aroace ass would LOVE more representation among the Jedi.

[azi-sings-calliope]

The Sandman female characters - why are they buried?

I'm gonna make a series of my thoughts on the female Sandman characters, both critiques of how they're treated and appreciation posts for them. (These are just my opinions, everyone is entitled to their own) Hope you enjoy!

Also tagging @thesandwomen because I'm also very curious to hear your takes on her.

Part 1: Rose Walker

As a character, she gets an obscene amount of hate. Even her actress was bullied terribly when the show came out (which is a whole other issue).

The thing with Rose Walker is that she's strong, complex, powerful, but not in necessarily always visible ways.

She's making her own way in life, traumatized but loving, ambitious and creative. Her inner dialogue and workings is complex and tragic but not in always... I guess cinematic or traditional ways.

She shows the realistic side of someone, specifically someone growing up through tragedy.

She's endlessly creative but she's cursed as this Vortex which destroys and she can't escape that, unless she dies. While she's going through all this she's dragged for not being more dynamic or charismatic.

I found Rose Walkers character to be awfully realistic, because in my eyes, a way of interpreting her story is that one of a young woman, growing up, promising and creative, has been pushed down by society and other people's actions against her. She's creative, loving, ambitious, searching for her brother and making a life for herself. But then she's pulled down into this Vortex, this series of awful and inexplicable events where things are happening around her, she knows she's causing it, and she can't stop it, and the only way to solve it is to die and leave a life she has fought for so hard.

Strange people are telling her what to do, she doesn't understand it entirely, but she does it to the best of her ability. She pushes back at them (Dream and the Corinthian) at times, because what else can she do?

In the end, she ends up with one of her last living relatives dying in front of her and realizing there was no other way for it to turn out. And she's hated, because throughout these events, she isn't entertaining enough.

I'm not someone best suited to talk on the racism that undoubtedly impacted how the fandom impacted the character, but it's worth noting that racism certainly played a role.

Rose Walker shows the sides of a character, specifically a young, strong woman character that I feel like isn't often marketed.

Some of those who claim "girl power" dislike her because she isn't what they're used to seeing. I'm not claiming that she's revolutionary, I'm saying that she IS that type of character, portrayed perhaps more realistically.

She is powerful but she's not cocky and smiley and she won't punch you in the face. Female characters are only perhaps worth paying attention to if they have any qualities that are surface level beneficial or amusing to the audience.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Rose Walker is disliked because she's realistic, she has no amusing qualities.

Female characters often have stock marketable traits, such as humour, physical strength, or maybe magical. It's almost as if they're being paraded around, but not as a celebration but as a freak show. These are fake empowerment characters, and I feel like a lot of the basis for initial main female characters in big media pieces was written like this.

Rose Walker has marketable traits, but mixed in there are the real thoughts of a young woman, panicked and trapped and loving, and deeply honest. And it's honesty people don't like.

A young woman's struggle isn't fun to watch, it's not funny, there's no action, it's realistic.

I'm not trying to call her the female character of all time, I'm just trying to articulate my thoughts.

Rose Walker can make people uncomfortable. A female character not being pushed into the box of marketable, but real.

I think it's telling that we as a fandom dismissed her because of her lack of marketable qualities, because if you look deeper into the character, there's so much more.

Anyway, I hope this didn't come off as too rant-y, and thanks for reading!

[yanderes-galore]

'ello! ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ Good luck with all requests! Including mine ;)

Can you write yandere concept for Lyney (genshin impact)?

Sure! I warn you, I stopped playing after Inazuma (My team sucked) so I am going based off analysis videos and scenes. I like his character, good story potential :)

Yandere! Lyney Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Stalking, Manipulation, Overprotective/Possessive behavior, Threats, Blackmail, Isolation, Implied murder, Kidnapping, Drugging, Dubious/Forced relationship.

Magicians already are masters at deception.

But magicians who are spies?

They're the masters.

Lyney knows how to deceive and perform.

He cares for his loved ones and everyone knows him for his tricks.

He acts charismatic, romantic, and extroverted to the crowd.

But deep down he's always listening for new potential info.

Meeting Lyney for you was probably by chance.

Lyney lives for the stage and proves himself.

Him growing interested in an audience member could be a potential way to meet his obsession.

Lyney is slow to trust people, yet you manage to catch his eye.

You came to Fontaine to explore the sights.

That was your original intention to be in the region, simply a traveler passing through.

You meet Lyney at his show as he was performing with his sister, Lynette.

You should've been just another face in the crowd.

However, to Lyney, you were a constant distraction in his show.

Imagine if after the show, Lyney came up to you for a chat.

There's just something about you that's caught his eye.

Making him determined to find out what.

That's about how I imagine you meet.

He chats with you after the show, learning more about you.

While he keeps his guard and acts up... Lyney seems genuinely interested.

The magician naturally comes off as flirtatious when speaking to people.

Many describe him as romantic in his shows, making roses appear with a wink.

He's playful and often speaks with honeyed words.

Even if he just means to deceive.

Lyney's first encounter with you is originally to gain info or playfully flirt.

Yet as he leaves that encounter and you part ways...

He's left wanting more.

Lyney's true nature is often more secretive and mysterious than his typical persona.

He's part of the Fatui... skilled in stealth, blackmail, infiltration, and theft...

See where I'm going with this?

For someone who seems so extroverted and flirtatious... He's strategic.

Lyney may not look like it, yet I can see him as a dangerous yandere.

Everything about him is smoke and mirrors.

He could easily deceive his obsession and hide all of his yandere tendencies.

I wouldn't necessarily say he's bad in terms of violence though.

Lyney doesn't seem like the type to murder rivals.

No, I feel he prefers to use his mysterious charisma to his advantage.

As I said before, many of his Fatui jobs require stealth and espionage.

He can easily follow anyone, be that his obsession or someone he doesn't like close to them.

Like a cat, he stalks his prey (Fitting due to his genetics, I suppose).

As a spy he's quite skilled at gathering information.

If he wants to know so much more about you... It won't be that difficult to get what he wants.

Pretty soon, especially when he's obsessed, he'll know everything he can about you as his obsession.

Now... Lyney knows how to use blackmail.

He'd probably use it on his rivals more than his obsession though.

After all, what's a better way to remove someone from your obsession than threats?

Lyney would gather so much dirt on potential rivals just to have control over them.

Then they'd have to stay away from you... unless they want important info spread?

It would be such a shame if he had to leak some info that would ruin his rivals image in your eyes.

However, he'll keep quiet if they just stay away from you on their own.

In terms of blackmailing his obsession...

Lyney may keep important info about you tucked away for later

Especially if it's scandalous.

That way, if you try to leave him or refuse his confession?

He has you wrapped around his finger.

Infiltration and theft is self-explanatory.

Lyney could easily sneak into where you're staying to rummage around your belongings or watch you.

He's as quiet as a cat on the hunt, eyes on you at all times.

Lyney probably could easily steal from you by distracting you too.

He could distract you with a trick... just to steal a trinket for him to cherish later.

Lyney can easily mess with his obsession.

He's another subtle yandere, but that's expected of a Fatui spy.

You'd be too caught up in his charisma and tricks to notice him removing people around you.

While I said he'd most likely not murder and just manipulate...

Nothing's stopping him from marking someone for death.

After all, Arlecchino may be up for helping one of her children out.

Then it can be covered up.

Lyney is dangerous to you due to how deceptive he is.

It's impossible to know what's true with him.

The only thing true for him is his supposed love for you.

But even then, said love isn't love.

It's an obsession.

Due to his skills, I can see Lyney preparing to kidnap his beloved as a back up plan.

If he can't naturally charm you with roses and sweet affection... He has other means.

Lyney's patient.

He can wait for you to fall for him, to slowly cling to him once more people start leaving you.

Yet if that doesn't work... or you suspect him?

Maybe he needs to use that back up plan.

Perhaps Lyney has one more trick up his sleeve when it comes to you.

Maybe he invites you to Hotel Debord in order to have dinner with you.

He's all smiles as he sits with you, giving you a rose as if it's some date.

Then, with a slight of hand, he slips something into your meal... and you wake up somewhere unfamiliar.

Lyney doesn't mind fooling his beloved.

Fooling you is how he makes you his.

How could he feel guilty when he has you all to himself?

Once he has you locked away, all for himself in your own special room he had set up, nothing's stopping him from caressing your cheek

Nothing's stopping him from holding you close.

Nothing's stopping him from kissing your skin, purring sweet nothings in your ear...

Nothing but you, that is...

Yet with time, even that fight will fade...

No one can resist his charm for long.

[aroaceconfessions]

So yesterday I met my old friend and we touched up the subject of marriage and while I didn't necessarily come out as aroace to her, I told her that I don't want to get married or have children. I ended up going on quite a rant about it (and how my parents are against it without even taking me seriously) and she said "I won't pray that you'll change your mind and eventually get married, I pray that we'll all get to meet good people who will have a good impact on our lives" and honestly?? That's such a good thing to wish upon others?? And such a respectful way to put it??

Like, she probably doesn't necessarily agree with my life choices or share the same point of view as me but she clearly respect that and recognise that it's my choice to make and damn that's one of the coolest thing someone has ever done to me.

Respect is that simple, I wish people would just respond like that about aspects of other people's lives even when they don't necessarily understand or agree with it

Submitted May 30, 2023

[creatingblackcharacters]

I'm considering making a character I haven't settled on a design for Black. The thing is, her husband was white, as is her son. I've considered giving the son more Black textured hair as his design already has curly black hair, but I'm not sure. Anyway, she would be the grandmother of my white "main" character.

I have only partially fleshed her out as I don't want to put too much thought into her character until I know I'll keep her Black for sure.

Here is what I have so far.

Annette was born in the nineteen forties and lived through the rampant racism and sexism of the times. She was and is an activist for Black people and woman kind. She is determined and highly intelligent, having made her way through college with astoundingly good grades and becoming a successful author.

She met her husband in college, who was impressed and infatuated by her sheer intelligence and determination.

When her son, Edward, was born, she and her husband had high expectations for him. They were both highly intelligent and successful people who gave him the best possible launching point to succeed. While they were a bit firm at points, they did it out of love for their son and belief that he could be the best at whatever he did.

When Edward proposed to his future wife, Abigail, his parents weren't the most supportive. They wanted him to marry someone more like themselves; strong and hardworking.

After the passing of her husband and the birth of her granddaughter, Annette became a bit more mellow. When her husband passed, she realized his workaholic attitude had impacted his health and didn't want to go down the same path. Meeting her baby granddaughter also helped to soften her heart. Her relationship with her daughter in law also improved.

I was wondering if this is okay or if it comes off as forced diversity. She won't be the only Black character as her granddaughter's husband, Darryl, will be Black, as well as their daughter. There is also Darryl's adoptive father, sisters, and friend from college, Joyce, who is a Black trans woman.

(P.S. I'm tweaking my Darryl character's design to have dreadlocks and beads instead of his previous hairstyle. Do you want to see him when I get a decent drawing done?)

Hmm. It's not "bad", you could do it. Her son is going to be biracial. But I do see what you mean. Why exactly do you want her to be Black? The only thing that really makes it more relevant is that you have her as a Civil Rights activist alongside her feminist politics, and you could still be white and do that (Joan Trumpauer Mulholland is a phenomenal example).

Now don't get me wrong, you don't necessarily have to have a "reason" for a character to be Black, but you would benefit from understanding how her Blackness affects her story, and how she'll interact with the world around her. She's a civil rights activist- maybe that could be where she meets her white future husband, because she can see that he actually cares about her politics and her humanity. It would also be extremely difficult at the time for them to be married, as well. Did she meet him at a PWI (Predominantly White Institution)? She wasn't very safe there in the 1960s; maybe he took an active role in defending her presence on campus?

Does she as a Grandmother pass this ideology and history down through her apparently white family? And if she's just the grandmother of the white MC, was your idea behind her being Black to soften the approach of Darryl ("oh, we're not racist, my grandma is Black!")? Because that would be racist, yes. I'll stop asking too much, because I know you said you're still planning. But these are things I think you should consider in your design.

[melbatron5000]

Fangirling for personal improvement

My Good Omens hyperfixation has made me a better writer.

I did not expect that when I got hooked on the Ineffable Mystery and started digging for Clues.

I've been writing fiction for decades. I have five books out, seven if you count the side adventure novellas I wrote to entice people to my email list. I'm currently editing the sixth (eighth?).

I have a few deeply devoted fans. I have a handful of good reviews on my books.

I also have a full-time day job, because selling books ain't making me rich.

My goal has never been to be rich, it's been to make a living doing something I love. And I'm still not there yet. It's largely my own fault, there are things I could be doing, but I'm too scared of rejection to do them. I've been working on that fear of rejection, but it's been a bit of a roller coaster of feeling better and then feeling worse and scared again.

As part of my attempt to feel better, I decided to re-edit my very first book and re-release it. I'm indie, so I can do that.

Everyone always asks for the first book, and I've learned a lot as a writer since I put it out, so it's not necessarily my best foot forward. Several people have told me to let that go and write another book, but when I'm selling, shoppers are never interested in the newest book (unless they already read the first one), they want the first book. And if the first book doesn't catch them, they won't care about the newest book. So I want the first book to make the best impression it can.

My day job and self-esteem issues have made the editing process slow going. It's been over a year. (I'm also editing the sixth book on top of that, so I may be biting off more than I want to chew. But anyway.)

I took hyperfixating on Good Omens as a little bit of a mental break from grinding on my own stories. After I did that for a while, I figured it was time to get back to grinding.

Holy shit was it easier!

I had a sentence that I had re-written like, five times, trying to capture exactly what I wanted to say. When I came back to my hand-written edits, I saw immediately how to word the sentence to say what I wanted with the most punch. I also saw that in my efforts to correct some author tics, I had re-written some of my sentences to be more "correct" but lose their impact. I could see at a glance which ones needed a little tidying to take care of tics, which ones needed total re-writing, and which ones were good as they were, tics or not.

As I began working on edits again, I also started to feel more confident. I have a better way with words than I had given myself credit for. My characters are interesting. My stories have a deeper meaning. I have a clear-cut idea of what kind of author I want to be.

I had a moment of feeling like I want to make Neil Gaiman proud of me, and of course that's a wildly unrealistic thing to want, and I was feeling sort of defeated at how no matter if I ever have success or not I will always be too small a fish for him to ever notice me, and so will never make him proud. But watching him be so encouraging and lovely on Tumblr has been deeply vicariously uplifting to me. In the distant, good-will-towards-all-baby-writers way he has, Neil may never hear of me personally, but he is, in fact, proud of me nonetheless. This has meant more to me than I know how put into words.

This is all literally because of Good Omens.

I've always loved both Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. They are master-class writers, for sure. I've read everything by both of them, multiple times.

Reading and re-reading are not the same as hyperfixating, it turns out. It's not the same as reading meta-analyses of a master work and going, "Oh, I never saw that before, but it absolutely tracks!" It's not the same as seeing the same words or phrases repeated over and over by people who love them, and seeing why those phrases in particular have caught people's imaginations, the layers of meaning available in them. Reading and re-reading are not the same as dipping a toe into writing my own metas, using my own skills to break down an amazing story I love and examine its working parts and see how it ticks.

I'm not developing new skills that I didn't have before, I'm using the same skills I've gained over the years of trying to write good books. But I am using them in new ways, and maybe more importantly, I'm using them on a book that I love by two authors I really care about, rather than a book I don't like assigned by an instructor or chosen by someone writing a book on how to analyze writing. Being able to ask myself, "Why do I love this bit so much?" as opposed to "What's so brilliant about this book I've never read and never will?"

My confidence is so much higher than it has been in years, and it's holding steady. Every time I look at my own writing, I'm jazzed and pleased, rather than intimidated and concerned. I'm excited to start working on more stories. I'm excited to really give it a go to get them selling enough to make a living at it.

All because of Good Omens.

[3hks]

Angst Tip 2: Dealing With a Loss (The 5 Stages of Grief)

When writing a loss, it is very important to know how to do it right, because they are a great prompt for angst! A poorly-written one won't have the intended effect, and the audience won't feel the emotion nor impact of the event. And as brutal as it is to say this, when writing depressing scenes, the ultimate goal is to make your reader cry.

So, in this post, I'll explain the 5 stages of grief and the foundation for a character going through a loss! Note that this does not always have to apply to one's death; this could mean one losing their job, or getting a terminal illness. Furthermore, these are not necessarily my personal tips, but mine do fall into certain places of the stages! Lastly, I'm not a professional on this topic, and this is not for psychology, but I did research on this!

First stage: Denial. The shock that comes with losing something can have a great impact on a character. Following that is typically denial. Their reluctance to accept reality often has the character living in their own delusion; where they never actually lost anything in the first place, and that it'll be fixable. Normally, their wake-up call comes from another person, or just a sudden realization.

Second stage: Anger. Anger comes in different forms for different individuals, but in the end, the emotion is still somewhere present. Depending on the situation, the anger could be directed towards other people, the one they lost (if said person made a bad mistake that was the reason for their demise), and/or themselves. Self-blame often comes last, and is the transition for the second and third stage!

Third stage: Bargaining. This stage consists of the character slowly, but not fully, accepting the loss. Now, they're not only aware of what happened, but are also aware of how they could've avoided it. During this time, their mind is often flooded with hypothetical "ifs," and how it could've prevented the event from happening. Self-blame and over-examining their mistakes are the key here.

Fourth stage: Depression. As realization sinks in, so does the mourning and grieving of the cycle. By now, the character should be fully aware of what happened, and that it is hardly fixable. Because of this, they normally fall into some sort of depression. It will look different for different characters--some might feel miserable, some might feel numb--but in the end, it's still their form of grief.

Fifth stage: Acceptance. Lastly, the fifth stage is acceptance. This doesn't always mean that they've moved on, it simply means that the character has come with terms with what happened. More often than not, the event will still have a lasting impact on your character. It can be positive, negative, or both. Either way, some sort of change should be present.

There you have it! The 5 stages of grief: Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance! Each stage should now be clear, and if you were ever struggling to create a realistically sad death or event, this should be of some help! Now, tell me, do you think that there's 5 stages of grief, or 7?