#and like......... i am Of The Old now so apparently i just DON'T REMEMBER STUFF ANYMORE

[winterinthetardis]

Hi! Where is your queue tag from?

Hi! My queue tag "I'm still just a queue. No touch." is a play off of a line from Doctor Who, s2e13 Doomsday, where the Doctor projects himself to Bad Wolf Bay to say goodbye to Rose:

This gif is from this amazing gifset, btw. It has the entire scene!!

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

Just Like His Father

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x reader

Warnings: none, pure fluff, I actually saw this on tiktok and thought it'd be cute to make sth out of it

You were in the kitchen finishing making dinner when your husband returned from a business meeting.

"Hey, love" Lewis greeted you as he entered the kitchen.

"Hey, baby" You smiled as he stood behind you and wrapped his arms around you leaving a kiss on your cheek. "You tired?"

"No, but I am starving." He sighed. "What's for dinner?"

"Curry chicken and rice. It'll be ready in a minute, you can sit at the table"

"Oh, yes, please.." He groaned. "Where's Marlo?"

"He should be in his room doing his homework. The young gentleman didn't have lunch today so he has to eat dinner" You chuckled remembering the talk you had with your son earlier today. Marlo was 5 years old and in preschool. He was the smartest, most lovable, but also unintentionally the funniest kid ever.

"Marlo, daddy's home!" You shouted. "Wash your hands and come sit at the table"

"Why were you laughing when you said he didn't have lunch today?" Lewis asked curiously.

"Oh you just wait till you hear it from him" You giggled taking the dish and walking with it over to the table.

When Marlo washed his hands, he ran into the kitchen extending his arms towards Lewis. "Daddy!" He screamed with joy seeing him.

"Buddy" Lewis softened, picking him up in his arms and hugging him tightly. "I missed you. Did you have a good day at school?" He asked.

"Yup" Marlo nodded.

"Tell daddy what happened at school today" You said trying to refrain from laughing so that Marlo doesn't think you're making fun of him.

"What happened at school?" Lewis was still confused. "Did someone mess with you? Did someone touch you? Y/n?" He was already visibly upset and paternal protective instincts kicked in within seconds.

"No, no-"

"Mom did.." Marlo blurted out and his gaze shifted to you. “Mom messed with me..”

"What do you mean?"

"Marlo, did you eat your lunch at school today?" You asked crossing your arms and leaning your elbows onto the table waiting for his response.

"I didn't actually" He said turning to Lewis.

"And why is that?" Lewis asked.

"Because my girlfriend was sat right across from me and you put a note that said I love you babe" Marlo explained pointing his finger at you.

Lewis paused for a second, blinking a couple of times before bursting into laughter. "Your girlfriend, buddy? You have a girlfriend?"

"I'm not sure if I still have one after today" He sighed.

"Oh, your girlfriend didn't like mom's note?"

"No! She got mad!"

You chuckled again remembering how upset he was about it earlier today when he first told you the story. You felt bad for him, but you couldn't help but laugh at the kid stuff that was concerning him.

"And what did you do after that?" Lewis listened intently as you put food on the plates for both of them.

"Nothing, I explained to her that she's married to my dad and I said that my dad is Lewis Hamilton."

"You hear how beautifully he emphasized that my husband is none other than Lewis Hamilton" You joked as Lewis held his head laughing.

"What? I didn't say anything wrong?" Marlo shrugged his shoulders. Love problems were clearly too much for the young man.

"Baby, no girl will ever love you as much as your mom loves you, remember that." You stood up from your chair and walked over to him placing his small face between your hands and kissing his forehead.

"Well, she doesn't have to know that!" Marlo defended.

"Okay, okay. No more notes in lunch boxes just so that your girlfriend doesn't feel like I'm a threat to her apparently" You playfully rolled your eyes going back to your seat. "Now, please start eating your dinner"

"But I still don't understand, regardless of the note, why didn't you eat your lunch?" Lewis asked him.

"Because I wanted to prove her how much I loved her." He sighed before continuing "Dad once told me how he proves his love for you by eating everything you cook even though sometimes he may not like it, but he eats everything because he loves you. I just did the opposite."

Your and Lewis' hearts melted when you hear him say it. You were so proud of your little boy who was too young to know what love was but he learned it so well from his daddy. you knew that one day he would make some girl the happiest girl in the world, just like his father made you and continues to do so day after day.

After dinner was over, both you and Lewis wanted to get Marlo ready for bed. After you gave him a shower and Lewis helped him brush his teeth, you read him a bedtime story and cuddled him before saying goodnight. You also made pinky promises that there would be no more "embarrassing" notes from mom in the lunchbox, and that Marlo would eat his lunch every day.

After that you and Lewis decided to relax on the couch in front of the TV in each other's arms.

"If one day we have a daughter and she comes to me at the age of 5 and says she has a boyfriend, I swear, I will lose my mind" Lewis said jokingly even though you knew he meant it.

"Yeah, we'll homeschool her so she doesn't have any contact with the boys" You said sarcastically rolling your eyes at him.

"Exactly! That's a great idea actually!" He seemed to love it of course.

"Oh stop it!"

"As you told our son today, so I will tell our daughter, no man in her life will ever love her more than me. That's a fact. I already love her."

"Baby, we don't even have a daughter...yet"

"Then I better get to work, no?" He smirked rolling you over and nuzzling his head into your neck making you giggle.

"Well, you better, Lewis Hamilton."

[cobragardens]

Notes on the Scene in Job's Basement

Crowley is not tempting Aziraphale here. He's experimenting on him.

Getting Aziraphale to sin, or even getting him drunk, is not Crowley's intent in this scene. Eating food, taking pleasure in food, drinking alcohol, and even being drunk are not sins in most of Judaism or Christianity (and they're certainly not sins in British Christianity, regardless of any church's doctrine). When Aziraphale turns down alcohol, Crowley just suggests he try food instead; so it's not important to Crowley what Aziraphale tries, but it is important to him that he try something.

This scene is also the first time (chronologically) we see that Crowley likes to drink and likes to be drunk.

We know from

and from

as well as from Book Omens and Word of God that angels have no instinct beyond curiosity pulling them toward eating or toward gender. From this we can reasonably presume they have no instinct toward Beverages either.

That means that in this moment--

--Crowley is very likely the only metaphysical entity he knows on either side of the divide, or even knows of, who has ever experienced a physical pleasure.

And he probably has some Lingering Questions about it, like we all did the first time a physical pleasure blew our minds. Like,

Is it this strong for everyone?

Is there something wrong with me?

Am I going to hurt myself if I do this, like, a lot?

And it's not like the poor creature can ask anyone, because the answers for humans aren't necessarily going to apply to him.

So when he sees an opportunity, Crowley gets that one angel he knows who'll talk to him to try a human thing, and then he watches to see if physical pleasure hits the angel as hard as it hit him.

And that's why he looks so creepily pleased when it does.

Apparently it is this strong for everyone and there isn't anything wrong with him. Now he can relax and get sloshed without worrying, and he even has someone to talk to about how rad human stuff is.

A Dip Into Speculation

We know because we're shown this isn't the first time Crowley has gotten drunk that, watching Aziraphale, Crowley understands what he's seeing. I think it's really interesting that Crowley doesn't laugh at Aziraphale at any point during this scene, and he doesn't correct the way he's eating, either.

Maybe it's because this is what it was like for Crowley the first time. Maybe he got so drunk he passed out and woke up in a puddle of his own sick. Maybe he got so drunk he passed out and didn't wake up at all, and there was Paperwork and he had to get used to a whole new corporation just when he'd got the hang of having legs in the old one. Maybe somebody had to show him how to use a fork or whatever they had going on for eating utensils in Ancient Mesopotamia. I distinctly remember having to learn as a small child to chew with my mouth closed. There is every possibility Crowley doesn't consider the way Aziraphale is eating to be worthy of ridicule because whatever Crowley did the first time was worse.

Maybe he wants to leave Aziraphale set up for later embarrassment over his table manners. Aziraphale was a judgy bitch about the wine.

Or maybe it's something like Let him have this one. There can be rules to it later; let him just enjoy it, once, like a little kid with both fists in their birthday cake.

Maybe it's desire. There is some textual evidence for this. Once Aziraphale learns to eat properly, the way he does it is very attractive, and we know Crowley loves watching him do it.

I don't think it's overreaching even to interpret David Tennant's physical performance of Crowley watching Aziraphale eat as one of sensual or erotic pleasure. I mean--

I'm not saying it absolutely has to be erotic, but it's not a reach, or even a full extension of the elbow, to read it that way.

There's another meta somewhere [I'll link it when I find it again; if you know this meta, please drop it in comments!] that discusses how this exchange in Job's basement is filmed like an erotic scene.

Like Crowley, we all want to kiss this face.

Aziraphale isn't eating prettily, but he's eating lewdly, ravenously, desirously, and it's lit like romantic sex, not like gluttony. Whether that's funny or poignant or hot may depend on the viewer. Here's how Crowley's handling it:

Srs tho, any frame of this scene could have been painted by Artemisia Gentileschi.

Or maybe--and this is my favorite of the available interpretations--maybe this is what it was like for Crowley the first time and he doesn't interfere because he wants Aziraphale to come out of this as someone who's had the same experience Crowley's had so Crowley won't be so totally alone in having had it.

[alllgator-blood]

I s2g if you add the layers of these comic pages together, it's over 350 layers. THIS is why I don't do full color for my comics lmaooo- ANYWAY EVERYONE HERE HAS AN AU APPARENTLY, SO THIS IS A BRIEF GLIMPSE INTO MINE. I don't know what to call it yet but I'm thinking of calling it "famous prophets" because 1. I like that car seat headrest song, 2. it's about shamura who is prophetic, 3. it's about trying to outrun fate with the Power of Love (and failing. Like the song!!!). It takes place when all the bishops were teens/kids during the age of hundreds of gods at war, and were trying to survive as a family.

I'm really excited to work on stuff for it but it's all gonna be drawn out of order. Maybe I'll write a full explanation of what it's gonna be about when I have a better idea...I want to channel my eldest sibling angst in a productive way, and maybe establish a QPP between shamura and a completely random npc everyone forgets about <3 also kallamar is trans too cause I said so. I'll do a comic about it eventually. Instead of an absence of gender he has TOO much gender. It simply cannot be contained.

I like that nonbinary genders are normalized in cult of the lamb to the point where nobody singles anyone out for being a they/them, it's not like "THIS IS MY SIBLING SHAMURA. THEY ARE NONBINARY AND USE THEY/THEM. ALRIGHT BACK TO KILLING YOU", it's just like "don't you fucking dare make my poor sibling wake up from their nap to kick your ass. Cause they deserve better than this."

But at the same time I like having the freedom to be more specific, and say "shamura is voidpunk and their gender is best described as the feeling that overtakes you during the first snow of the year, when everything outside is deathly quiet". This comic is actually derived from the time I was walking through a forest that's been torn down for a few years, and came out to my little sister as trans. I must've been like 13 or 14 and she didn't really get it as a 10 year old, but it was better than my mom FREAKING OUT about me coming out. So it was a nice little bonding moment between just the two of us. I don't have a good memory so I don't recall how it went unfortunately...

Now, the climate is a little different. My sis tried out transmasculinity for maybe 5-6 years before feeling happier as a woman, my mom is trying to be Based and flaunt her Woke trans children, and my dad remembered "oh yeah trans natives have existed before colonization. Maybe me being transphobic is a product of my culture being erased" and has gotten better about calling me the right thing. I have a mustache (thanks pcos!!) and wear skirts and am not a repressed "tomboy" teenager anymore. But I can't help but wonder what would've happened if I could've been like shamura and just...been nonbinary without people being fucking weird about it. Or been born as a badass war god who will tear you to shreds before you can perceive my birth sex. I know they're fictional but they are my ultimate gender envy GRRRRR BARK BARK BARK

Here is the secret image for this post- I listen to mostly EDM when I draw cause it keeps the energy up, but as I was finishing up shamura's poetry part, I was like THESE ARE JUST KMFDM LYRICS so I made this

[fruttymoment]

Do you think only Rue is a robot or is Cedric secretly a robot too in that one theory?

When Niko asks the question, Cedric answers too!

Unsure if this is a theory at this point; but it is HEAVILY suggested that both Rue and Cedric are robots as well, just like Proto. Pretty sure it's also confirmed by Nightmargin herself, in somewhere! I just forgor

I do, however, have another theory. Based in this interaction :

Since the entire world is just a simulation, is EVERYONE there technically is a robot?

Are Proto, Cedric and Rue specifically robots because they are The Author's children?

It's hard to say a certain thing because first of all we have no idea what exactly makes a robot, well, 'robot', in the universe of OneShot.

A robot is an entity with computing power, specifically designed to do a certain task. We see nurse robots, rowbots, guardian robots etc. in the game. All of them surely are robots, but they have different missions and are built for different tasks.

However, just like other people, robots are NPCs. NPCs in OneShot are basically simulated people, and are not real. Well, they WERE real in the Old World. Now it's not really them but their digital version of themselves, built by complex coding from The Author that 'lives' inside of The World Machine's simulation.

Imagine the Earth we know today is about to be destroyed tomorrow. In horror, scientists somehow figure out how to turn you into a code to simulate yourself in a computer. Forever, perhaps. It's still you with your emotions, habits, thoughts and stuff! It's just that you are not real anymore, but just powered by electricity inside of a computer. You just dont know it.

This of course creates something.. rather interesting.

What is real? What isn't?

WELL WE HAVE NO IDEA BOUT THAT IRL. In the universe of OneShot though; anyone that is living in this simulated environment is an NPC. NPCs don't remember anything when you reset the game for Solstice run, because they are a part of the simulation. They ARE the simulation. And when you reset the game, so the simulation is formatted. No one remembers Niko and anything.

Niko is the messiah because they are a real person. They do not belong this simulation, they have their own world and life. They came to this simulated environment from somewhere else; they never belonged here and they were never a part of the Old World.

This is the difference between real people and NPCs in OneShot, basically. I hope??

Now, one has to ask. The Author has left the world in his 'own terms'. He is probably alive though. But, what about their children? Why are they.. seperated?

I don't think we have any official explanation. A thing I found is apparently Author, Cedric, Rue and Proto all lived in the Real World. So, they existed there. Pay attention to this because it will be... relevant.

Rue, Cedric and Proto are The Author's children. Altho, the wiki sometimes say 'creations' which I am very unsure. In any way, they lived together. They all do call him their "Father". It may not be the word 'father' we think, but maybe a creator too.

Now, this makes me wonder. The Author left, but why their children remains in the simulation? Maybe an accident happened?

Here is a very super weird fact.

Because technically they are bound to the simulation, all three siblings are considered as NPCs.

Wait um

Are they.. NPCs? If i remember correctly, Proto said that they themselves arent regular NPCs. He even knows what NPC is, and why they dont remember anything.

So...? Why three of them are special in this way? Maybe Author just made them so. Everyone else is from the Real World too, but the three siblings are somehow special in a matter.

So! The siblings are robots but arent just NPCs.

But. Then, what the fuck??

WERE THEY ALWAYS ROBOTS OR LIKE?? Why other people arent robots, but Cedric and Rue are?? They do NOT look like robots!

Did three of them fucking DIED irl and Author pulled a William Afton and made them robots??? WHAT

HOW DOES THAT WORK. SINCE THEY ARE CONSIDERED AS REAL AND NOT NPCS, THEY ARE NOT SIMULATED AT ALL. THEY JUST- THATS HOW THEY EXISTED IRL. HUH?? BUT-

Dont worry it gets worse :)

Remember just when i said Proto, Cedric and Rue arent NPCs but real people, riight?

Prepare to lose your shit because i am going to tell you somrthing.

"When Rue, Cedric, and Proto must be placed in the portal near the end of the Solstice run, Rue is the only one who doesn't have the "NPC" tag on her spritesheet."

- OneShot Wiki , a fact

Oh!

Rue

Rue, that fuckinf fox that i love completely destroys something we thought.

Rue :3

She fucking. Causes a HUGE problem.

According to the game files ITSELF, Rue is the ONLY ONE that does NOT have NPC tag.

This could mean two things. Lets see.

This is only a technical game thing. Rue does not have a NPC tag, because she is the only one that meets you before Solstice. She then remembers and knows you in Solstice. Proto and Cedric are not met before Solstice, thus they technically count as NPCs in not lore but technical game way. In short : Because Rue is the only one that remembers you afterwards, the devs themselves could removed the NPC tag to note themselves that Rue is different. Maybe thats how game code works too? Maybe if you give a NPC tag to a character, it means the character will be resetted after the save file gimmick is deleted. Rue not having an NPC tag could maaybe mean she is supposed to be not affected by a reset, and remembers, so has special interactions

Something malicious is brewing. Oh my fucking god

Tbh, both seem... weak? First of all I dont think the devs simply forgor the name tag for Rue. As a dev NAMING files and confirming everything, that doesnt seem normal. Maybe they really did forgot?? But it could easily be changed by an update or something afterwards?

Another thing is : its just a name in her spritesheets. A name of a spritesheet surely can change some stuff in game engine specifically, but um. I am very unsure.

Anyways. Lets see.

Screenshots from OneShot TWM Edition.

... well! She STILL has no NPC tag !!

THE DEVS KNOW.

THERE MUST BE A REASON. BUT WHICH ONE???

Is it somehow a technical thing???

Or. Something rather funny is going on.

Well um. We literally need direct answer from Nightmargin if its a lore thing; or perhaps GIR & Eliza if its a technical coding reason. Who knows??

I actually will ask this to Nightmargin in her Tumblr Q&A. Who knows, maybe she will answer!!!

If its a technical reason, then there isnt much stuff to discuss here. All three of them are possibly something else than just a simple NPC.

...if not, Rue is. Someone special perhaps. There may be a whole stuff we dont know about Rue and the siblings.

Rue always felt slightly different. Who knows.

Anyway TLDR ; Cedric is a robot too lol

[kakapim]

Playing devils advocate here.

I still think that Toichi being alive is ... a not very good idea, but... now that the shock has passed and I'm chill about it now, and have been rereading stuff... there Might Be Something Here.

My favorite theory about Toichi that saves his ass from being a completely shitty father is that the assassination attempt did not kill him, but DID leave him disabled somehow. Kinda of what happened to Kudo, except he wasn't shrunk.

That would explain:

1- Why he had to disappear for 8 years. I don't think Chikage could explain to a child that his father "had an attempt on his life and is now hiding" that would be hard to explain, and kids aren't the best at secret keeping.

2- Why Toichi left stuff behind for Kaito. Since he cannot perform magic tricks and parkour anymore, he let Kaito decide if he wanted to carry the mantle of being KID.

3-Why he still hasn't showed up. Remember that Kaito Corbeau was Chikage dressed as him, and in movie 27 is flashback from Yuusaku (as I've heard, I have not watched the movie). And he was dressed as Corbeau, so I guess we don't fully know how he's doing modern-day. Him being in Japan would be too much of a liability.

This stuff also explains why Kaitos room was timed. His door was going specifically open after 8 years, being 17, which is old enough to know the truth and not spill.

Interestingly enough, it seems this decision of making Kaito the Kid was not something Toichi and Chikage agreed on, judging by the fact she asked Kaito to stop being KID and move to Vegas (and the whole Corbeau fiasco) and seemed somewhat upset in the first manga chapter when she realizes Kaito had found out the secret room.

But despite all of this, it doesn't explain why Toichi couldn't have simply just... called him? Like once the door hit the timer, he could've just called the boy. Tell him "Hey son I am alive although not well. Yes, I was the thief KID. I dont know what you will do with this info but have fun I guess". Cmon. Unless the disability in question was amnesia or something.

The only thing that breaks this theory is the fact that apparently Corbeau has been making the rounds in Las Vegas... but as I said before, Chikage asked Kaito to come with her and get there. Which is curious... does she want Kaito to meet the real Corbeau? To know something that's been a secret? Def something to ponder about.

So yeah... Gosho might have burned the rice but he might be able to clutch this. What I'm saying is, while hating on Toichi is funny, perhaps we should be a little more patient to see what happens.

[imthepunchlord]

Ok so I was looking through old miraculous concept stuff and it really shows how much they fumbled Adrien. Apparently early drafts of Adrien wanted to be a doctor, which could have been interesting for his character when you factor in that his mother was sick before she "disappeared/died" and it's likely doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong, maybe Adrien wants to be a doctor to figure out what happened his mom was suffering from and maybe to help other people avoid that same situation.

This also sparked an idea for how Adrien's being "pefect" could have been used for this character. Maybe since Gabriel puts so much pressure on Adrien to be perfect and maintain this perfect image, Adrien has a lot of repressed anger and he has to keep in check. Also early verisons of Felix had him do boxing, maybe it's something Adrien does in secret as a way to help him vent his anger and become something he actually enjoys or maybe he could do breakdancing as a refer to the breakdance au (it's probably one of the oldest Miraculous aus and was one of the most popular)

Him being a doctor I do really like, and it seems it's an idea the fandom had picked up on early on, as the most popular ideas I saw for Adrien's future was him being a teacher, or a child therapist. Doctor or therapist is now one of the top two picks I like in what he may do in the future, as both do have merits to get the ball rolling. Though I do also like the idea of him getting into acting since he does dabble in it in canon, and he is quite a showman. And season 1 wise, yeah he did really like to dance.

From what I remember when I was watching s2 and from what I've heard and seen, it is kinda a shame he doesn't break out into dance anymore. It really added to Adrien's character as a model, as he stands so still but he himself is someone who likes to be animated and in motion, so him loving to dance and able to do so as Chat Noir just added a nice touch to Adrien. So it's a shame it seems like that aspect diminished.

Learning that Felix boxed, I am not too surprised, as boxing was/is regarded as a gentleman's sport (idk if it still counts?), and older concept Felix gave off that air of sophistication and poise.

I don't know if Adrien would box though, at least, not while he models for his father. Boxing does come with a risk of damaging your face and that would not be good for photo shoots. Felix it's unclear if he modeled at all, we don't see it, so presumably he didn't, which could allow him to box more easily.

I know Adrien did study some sort of martial arts when he was younger, though he quit. Fencing now seems to be his go to sport, I've heard some say he incorporates it into his fighting style, but I don't have enough knowledge on that to say for sure. I just know he doesn't use a staff correctly as a weapon, at least going off Rogercop.

Btw, Alya is my go to pick on who may be into boxing, and now I want to see a boxing match between her and Felix.

[realmofvoxtv]

Theories about Vox's and Alastor's Past

SPOILERS: If you have not watched episode 8 or just season one please read this post later. Also these are theories. These may predict future plot reveals idk.

Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of a toxic/abusive relationships. I mention Valentino too. Please continue with caution. Also, I mention Alastor's possible past as a killer.

So, we got a pretty BIG reveal in episode 8. Which is the photo below:

So, Vox and Alastor have more of a history than what many people believed. Let's first take some notes about the photo.

1. Alastor has his pilot suit

2. This photo is in black and white

3. Vox's screen looks different, it looks like an older model.

4. Vox and Alastor are pretty close together (this is important later).

Ok, let's talk about a few things.

1. Alastor's pilot suit.

This could be reference to the pilot. Or maybe his change is a reference to how, apparently, Alastor has made a deal and may not even own his soul.

2. The photo is in black and white.

And 3. Vox's screen likes like an older model.

Given how Vox seems to be ALL about updating and keeping up with the times, I don't think he was like pretending to be old fashioned for Alastor in recent or present times.

So, odds are this was AGES ago in hell. Like shortly after Vox died. I would say 1950s-1960s.

4. Vox and Alastor are pretty close together.

Now I think this is something important to mention. So far it seems like Alastor has this disconnection from most other males. Alastor mentions his mother in the pilot, but he has yet to mention his father.

He has this hatred for Lucifer (Charlie's DAD and Lilith's HUSBAND).

And at BEST Alastor respects Zestial (A powerful and OLDER MALE overlord). And at WORST he fears Zestial.

Sidenote: Look at that scene between Zestial and Alastor. It really looks like Alastor panics when he realizes that he (Alastor) is losing the respect of people in hell.

So given all of this, Alastor having mostly female friends, and mentioning his mother. But not mentioning his father, and even seeming to feel this need for respect and control (check back on his song in episode 8). I really do think it's possible that Alastor had a father who was in his life. But his father may have instilled fear and the need to gain respect, and perhaps the way Alastor was raised. Alastor felt the need to gain control in his life. (Sidenote: If he did indeed hurt/end people while alive, it's possible that was the driving force).

So the fact that Alastor was standing so close to Vox. And long enough for a photo to be taken? (Sidenote: If this is an old photo, I'm sure this photo would have taken a while to snap. Also is the camera being held by someone else or on a tripod or something? (Remember that this is probably in the 1950s-1960s)). This is important. This tells me that Alastor and Vox, at the time, trusted each other.  

So what happened?

Well, let’s go over Alastor's history since we have more of that as of now. 

Alastor lived through the Great Depression, and died AT LEAST after the 1920s my best guess is 1930s - 1940s.

He arrived in hell, and according to Vaggie in the pilot, and Mimzy, he wiped out some of the most powerful and eldest Overlords with ease. 

IMPORTANT: I think Alastor made this deal shortly after he appeared in hell. His power had to have come from somewhere.

And seven years ago, he disappeared. And only recently he has re-appeared. 

Also despite killing overlords and hating new stuff, he allowed Vox around him for that photo. 

Now about Vox. It's try to make some sense of his timeline. Apparently the first tv's appeared in 1927. But they only become really popular around 1946 - 1951. So it's likely that Vox and Alastor DID NOT meet each other when they were humans. So, he likely fell some time between 1950 - 1960. HOWEVER, if Alastor did encounter primitive tvs in 1927 to whenever died. It make sense that Alastor would originally accept Vox's presence. 

IMPORTANT: I am now sure that Vox died at least before 1970s. As that’s when colored cameras were popularized. And again that photo was in black and white.

So, what happened between them. Well I have some ideas and supporting evidence. 

1. Vox and Alastor made a bet/deal and Vox won. 

We hear in episode 2 from Valentino that Alastor owes Valentino and Vox something. It is possible that Vox and Alastor similar to Husk and Alastor. Made a bet, in which whoever wins gets the loser's soul. However, Alastor lost and maybe since he doesn't own his soul, he's able to attack Vox. Meanwhile Vox is shocked, as he's weirded out that Alastor is still able to move and (apparently) still has his soul. Perhaps in this theory Vox thought that Alastor found a loophole. 

Perhaps Valentino gets involved, and that's how he loses his antenna. Maybe Alastor realized that his secret may be out. And he brought out an angelic weapon trying to end Vox and Valentino. But instead, he has to flee. Also, Vox has a crooked antenna too. Maybe a result of Alastor?

Also, in episode 2, Vox says that they must prevent Charlie from making a deal with Alastor. Interesting...

IDK though where Vox inviting Alastor to the team fits in this theory. Maybe this battle happens after Alastor rejects Vox's offer. 

2. One of them saved the other's life

In episode 8, while Alastor sings he taunts the idea that people would think that he would die and, thus, cares for the people in the Happy Hotel. What if this is something that happened between Alastor and Vox. What if when Vox was a younger sinner, he was nearly killed and Alastor came to his defense. Or perhaps it was the other way around. 

And Alastor realized that with him not owning his own soul, that he may be forced to kill Vox, like the oldest overlords. So, he cut off Vox. As he was maybe starting to care about Vox (doesn't have to be romantic). 

And perhaps that's why Vox invited Alastor to join his team (Which for sure had Vox and Valentino, idk about Velvette). As Vox wanted to have his pal back. 

Then Alastor attacks Vox to send the message to Vox. 

Also, in this theory. They were likely friends. (Remember the earliest tvs were made in 1927. So, Alastor likely had no problem with Vox's technology as it was around when he was alive, but just not common in most households. )

How close Vox and Alastor are in the photo, does support this theory. Especially since Alastor does seem to have this mistrust around males. 

Also if Vox saved Alastor's life. That would explain Valentino saying that Alastor owes them something (aka his afterlife).   

3. Alastor tried to swap places with Vox

It's possible that Alastor got close to Vox, and maybe offered Vox a deal. Which was intended to trap Vox and maybe Alastor was hoping that whoever owns his soul would instead want Vox to take leadership. And possibly free Alastor's soul. 

Remember how Vox mentioned to the other V's that they must prevent Alastor from making a deal with Charlie? Perhaps Alastor is going to order Charlie to take his place in his deal. (Remember, Charlie's only restriction is that she wouldn't hurt someone. Taking his place in his deal, doesn't directly hurt anyone). 

Anyways, Vox realizes what Alastor wanted. Maybe he tries to get Alastor more involved like joining his team. And Alastor keeps pushing a deal. And maybe Alastor or Vox snap and then they battle. 

In this theory, Alastor allowing Vox to be so close to him in a photo. Likely would've been an act to pretend that he trusts Vox. 

Also, in this theory, maybe Alastor was training Vox to be like him. That way he would be the perfect replacement for his deal. This would also explain Vox's similarities to Alastor. 

Maybe whoever owns Alastor's soul, realized his plans and intentions. And that's why Alastor disappeared for 7 years. He was being reminded to never betray them. 

4. Perhaps Valentino and maybe Velvette, drove Alastor apart from Vox and vice versa. 

We know Vox invited Alastor to join his "team". That hints that at least one more V member was in the team. Likely Valentino. 

Remember Alastor's possible past with his father and his fear/hatred of certain male figures. It's possible that such a male sinner like Valentino drove a divide between Alastor and Vox. Perhaps Valentino even framed Vox or Alastor. Which drove them to battle. Vox and Valentino get hurt. And Alastor disappears for 7 years.

So even though in this theory, Alastor once trusted Vox. He doesn't anymore. 

So that's all. Share your thoughts below!

[billpottsismygf]

The Legend of Ruby Sunday

Well that was certainly dramatic! A lot of questions answered, but more questions created. It's hard to have a conclusive opinion on this episode because it's so definitively only half of the story, but I certainly had fun throughout. There were lots of really funny bits of dialogue and good character moments, and a lot of drama.

I'd seen a couple of people speculating about Sutekh but I hadn't looked into why and, although I have watched The Pyramids of Mars, I don't remember an awful lot of what goes on in it! From what I recall, he wasn't that impressive a villain so the huge majesty and fanfare he's presented with here is quite interesting. He was a guy with a silly mask on in the 70s and here he's a somewhat ugly CGI dog, but I'm open to seeing how they connect these two versions of the character.

So, we have several people, all women, running around at the moment who have something to do with the mystery. 1) There's Ruby's birth mother. Why can't they see her face? Why was she pointing? 2) Mrs Flood, who turns out to be pretty unpleasant if she's refusing Cherry a cup of tea. Unlike the two I'm about to mention, she seemed to know what was coming and obviously about the TARDIS (and the camera) from the christmas special. 3) Harriet Arbinger, who is a harbinger of Sutekh. 4) Susan Twist, who is... another harbinger of Sutekh? It seems like Kate's chrysalis theory was right with her, at least. Does she serve the same role as Harriet? Is the little boy who was Maestro's harbinger have anything to do with either of them or did he just serve the same role?

Sutekh is apparently the mother and father and other of the gods, which could mean a bunch of things. For one it implies variation of gender, or at least an existence outside of it, which is interesting with the he/him pronouns and yet all these women who seem wrapped up with the plot, as well as the ongoing theme of abandoned children. Carla also called him the Beast before he'd even fully manifested, which of course brought to mind The Impossible Planet/The Satan Pit, especially with the soldier who died saying he was in hell. Probably no connection, but who knows! He is also specifically name checked as being Set and Seth from Egyptian mythology. What does it all mean!

Also, how did Sutekh latch onto the TARDIS in the first place? Does the fact that the Doctor mallet whacked the TARDIS to double it in The Giggle have anything to do with the present situation? I didn't like that at the time because she's a living being and he just cloned her(?) or split her(?) or something, but now I'm thinking it would make sense if it connects to how she got infested with Sutekh in the first place.

Speaking of the TARDIS-Sutekh connection, I loved that the TARDIS anagram was so obvious the UNIT team laughed at the Doctor explaining it, which makes the "wrong anagram" reveal even better. RTD knew the fans would work out the TARDIS anagram immediately (which they did) and that it would be a red herring for us just as much as for UNIT! Though not that much of a red herring, since the TARDIS is involved. Is it perhaps a little silly to create your evil secret corporation under a name that might give away your evil secret plan? Yeah, but I like it at the moment.

I'm so glad Susan Triad isn't Susan Foreman (at least, it seems that way). It's another big old red herring. I've been desperate for Susan to return for so long - and I would still love her to, and maybe she even will in this arc - but I don't want her to return like this! Not as a villain and not as someone other than Carole Ann Ford. While we still have her, let her play Susan again! Please!

I am fascinated by this stuff about the Doctor having her before having children... It's been established in the past that the Doctor did have children and that he lost them all (eg. in The Doctor's Daughter), but here Fifteen seems to be implying that he hasn't yet. How does that all add up? I love the idea of having children out of order, and have always somewhat rebelled at the assumption that Time Lords have children in the same way as humans (ie. sexual reproduction between two parents of "opposite" sexes). Gimme Looms or something equally bizarre or nothing, so I'm definitely down for this; I just wonder how it actually makes sense for the Doctor.

I'm so happy to see Rose again! Obviously we knew she'd be in this, but she's a great character and I adored her dynamic with Ruby. Very cute! I loved the Doctor's line about them being two shades of red. I hope they'll develop the stuff of her not being given much to do, as I guess basically a nepotism hire, because I want her to get to do exciting things! On that note, it is odd if she's so kept out of things that she stays in the room after everyone who is not necessary is made to leave. I know she's necessary in that she's a UNIT employee who is important to us, the viewers, but it doesn't quite make sense with what is apparently her role in the organisation.

Saving perhaps the most interesting for last, the CCTV of the night Ruby was abandoned was 66 metres away. Otherwise known as 73 yards. My ears pricked up the moment they said that, though I needed to check afterwards that they were the same, and that surely can't be a coincidence. I don't know if I need anything more about 73 yards, despite my many questions at the end of it, but it could be very interesting if the events of that episode have something to do with the bigger picture.

Overall, fun and engaging episode in its own right, but I'll have to withhold final judgement until next week!

Misc things

Rose says it's been ages since she last saw the Doctor, so we're a while after the specials. Also there was mention of 2004 being 19 years ago so we're currently in 2023.

It's interesting we have two characters in this story (Susan and Rose) who are named after important companions, each the original companion of their run of Doctor Who.

I love that the Trickster got a mention. So many people seemed convinced the Trickster would be the big bad coming up, but at least he got a name check.

I loved Carla's energy in this one! True Donna vibes. She only had to hear of the existence of Rose's mum at UNIT and decided she was also going to be involved.

Susan Triad says she remembers worlds with orange skies, which certainly sounds like Gallifrey, so could there be a Susan connection after all? I noted down that her father was a postman and her mother a dinner lady, but so far have gleaned nothing from this.

I love Lenny Rush! I've seen him in lots of things at this point and he's so charismatic and funny, especially for a fifteen year old. I hope Morris will stay on for a while yet!

It seems strange that UNIT didn't know about Susan (Foreman), since I'm pretty sure we've seen in the past that they have files on all the Doctors, including One.

[anyashifts]

okayyy weird stuff happened and I'll try to explain, but first I have a question and I can't find anyone who can answer it.

Question: Can you read PERFECTLY words while you're dreaming or "lucid dreaming"? (on the "lucid dreaming" case is because I was NOT aware at all that I was in a dream).

This is what happened: It was this morning around 3:50 or maybe it was 4 am already, when I started to dream, but the thing is besides being super realistic and detailed, everything was first person, I was in my cr room and it was night, I was with my mom and one of my cats was going crazy running around, I was helding a baby, apparently I was a mother in my 20s (I'm 25 here, but there I was slightly younger so I'll say 22/23 maximum).

The baby was a girl and she was a newborn, super cute and I knew she had the same eye color that I had in that "dream" which is weird, because her eyes color were blue but in this reality my eyes are brown, anyway, she was a newborn still I think she was around 3 months old only because she was still pretty small, and fun fact I still remember in detail her face right now as clear as the day.

So I was holding her and holding her binkie, while I was on my phone texting a guy, he is someone I used as a s/o faceclaim couple of months ago, but on the dream his name was different, so as far as I know, I met him on tinder and we talked but he disappeared and now he found me and we were texting again, this time he was asking me question through Instagram (its hard to replicate his user here because the first word for his @ in the dream had lots of 407 with words and the only I remember was a B, so it was basically like this: @B..._Gust4v0 which was his name in the dream > Gustavo)

So while we were texting I could FULLY read everything we were writing for each other, and he was complaining about the distance because we were from different states there and then he started to say that actually it wasn't so far and that we could make and could come visit me and all of that and then I had to put my phone down for a second, because of my daughter and I remember that I gave her a kiss on her forehead but like in between her eyes and she went cross-eyed for a second and started to cry and I started to soothe her and tried to calm her down, while my mom was laughing and guess what???

remember the crazy cat??? that little shit made me fall, but like it wasn't a big fall, I mainly just fell slowly on my back so I wouldn't step on him cuz he was sprinting around (the baby was totally fine don't worry)

anyway, that mainly what happened and I woke up right after because I started to think in the dream that I shouldn't be able to ready, cuz I've seen lots of people saying that you can't read stuff while you're dream or that if you can it will look messy and won't make any sense, which was not my case at all, and now I'm confused not knowing what happened and not knowing if it was a random shift that wasn't aware until I came back here, a crazy dream or a lucid dream.

[steamberrystudio]

05/11/2023

Hey everyone! Time for the bi-weekly tumblr update for Steamberry stuffs!

I feel like I have missed a few tumblr updates. I went back and the last one I can find is *dated* August 24 - but was actually posted on September 24th. LoL

I had one dated from October but it looks like I may have never actually posted it. That seems about right for how things have been going for me.

It's been rough. Like...really rough. I'm going to assume that the September 24th post was my last tumblr update. I have been updating on Patreon and even updated on Itchio, so there have been updates. Just apparently not here.

(below, you'll mostly find information on WSC but there is a quick update on GS remnants as well!)

Summary

Have written all but Yren's route *through* chapter 9

Numerous new BGs

Ramble

So the last time I posted it looks like I was just starting Chapter 8 in When Stars Collide. I am currently wrapping up the final scenes of chapter 9.

My word count in the September update was 373,000 and it is currently 413,000. I am just shy of 90% of the way towards my final word count goal.

I am about halfway through writing Yren's chapter 9 content (about 8000 words of content total and I've got nearly 4000 of that written). Once I have that bit written, I will be done with Chapter 9 for all characters.

I've gotten new art since my last post but honestly I'm not sure at this point how many. Looking back at my emails, it looks like I've probably gotten 3 new complete BGs + 1 BG sketch since my last update here on Tumblr.

I have updated all the CGs with the new background art as well - the introductory CGs in the current snapshot, of course, use the old backgrounds and the new conference room looks completely different and has different chairs. So I had to go back to those CGs and re-do the chairs. That is done but I haven't actually coded the new BGs yet. I have, however, updated the artwork.

That's basically the major stuff for now with WSC.

Gilded Shadows

Working on the lore book. The art book is complete but I decided to hold off releasing it until the lore book is done so I can release them together. Lore book is taking a while as there is a lot of content to format and I'm adding to it as I go.

It is nearing 100 pages already and...yeah. There's a fair bit more. So it's gonna be big.

Screenshots:

None this time....I don't think.

Upcoming Weeks:

Basically the same old stuff. I will be writing for WSC. I am currently trying to hit a goal of at least 6500 words a week so I can complete the draft by the end of December.

So far I have been able to do that although some weeks I barely managed. It's, as I said, been rough.

I'm continuing to work on the GS lore book. Most of the stuff is at least collected in one place right now, so I just have to format, organise, and add any commentary.

But I've changed computers at least twice since starting this game and some things I remember writing and am now struggling to find. So...that's fun.

Anyway I will try to make sure I post here every two weeks going forward instead of writing up a draft of the post and apparently never showing anyone. 💪

[kazumiwrites-fanfiction]

Fish Can't Tell Fortune

SUMMARY: You show a mysterious fish to Azul. WORD COUNT: 400+

WARNINGS: I wrote this in like ten minutes, spoilers for the fortune telling fish if you haven't done this in chemistry??? Idk A/N: I literally had this experiment and I was immediately like "This would make a good fic idea!!" Lmfao. Technically I was going to write something for my event but that's going to (hopefully) happen later this weekend (also my birthday weekend woohoo) Uh yes anyways I did kind of submerge my fish in water yesterday and I don't know how that ended (because I've been too scared to see if it still works) so that is fun- Anyways I can already tell that I'm going to dislike Chemistry just because- yeah. I enjoy it but also memorizing stuff is going to be a pain (I wish Azul tutored me (I'm broke though))

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Azul never believed in fortune-telling. It never told the truth; only hard work could show it.

But when he saw you being all excited with the small red and white packet in your hand… He couldn't say no.

He listened attentively as you talked about how this toy used to be popular with children in your world; apparently it was now a novelty. It was… Interesting. And this could show him his 'fortune'? Well, he had to try it out - even if he didn't believe in it.

He took the bag from your hands, looking at the outside. "Fortune Teller… Miracle Fish. Mhm." He nodded slightly, before pulling the small red fish out of the packet.

Doing as instructed, he placed the fish on the palm of his hand. It immediately started to move, and the two of you watched intensely.

"So… It turned over. What does this mean?"

You read the small text on the packet (that you had snatched from him after he took the fish out) before you stifled a snicker. You turned and showed him the words.

"False? What do you mean I'm false?" Azul looked irritated to almost a comical amount. "I am not- what does it even-"

You shrugged, just telling him that the fish said what it wanted to say.

Azul let out a soft huff, shaking his head. "I'm not believing this. What about you? What does it do when it's on your palm?"

You took the fish from his hand, holding it in the palm of your hand. It moved, albeit slower this time; it curled up entirely.

"…Passionate?" Azul read out loud, a soft frown on his face. "Well, I suppose I can see where that comes from…"

You laughed, telling him that the fish never lies.

"Whatever you say. Now, give me that. I want to figure out exactly what's going on with this."

And a few days later, he had actually figured it out.

It hadn't been hard for him; he thought it was either heat or moisture. As the fish didn't react to any type of heat-related thing, that was out. However, the water did make it move faster.

And after testing some more and remembering old bits of information, he deduced that it was some sort of chemical reaction that was going on that caused the fish to move in the way it did.

Even as you told him it was no fun if he figured it out, he shook his head.

"Now I know that science - not a miracle - powers this fish. And it was interesting to research as well. Thank you for showing me this, kantokusei-san."

As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! ♡ Send your thoughts grr

This post has details for requesting, and I also currently have a writing event going on here. Please check it out! (And request stuff for the event please I am running out of motivation-)

[goodluckclove]

Various "Failures" From My Google Docs

Good morning! I'm at my usual coffee shop and got inspired by the troubles of a few friends to embarrass myself.

Sit down with me. I'm enjoying my usual blended chai. There's room on the couch if you'd like to join me.

So I've written thirteen novels. I think thirteen, I've actually lost count. Let's say, like, five full-length plays and twelve to fourteen finished novels. Impressive, right? Maybe. I'm realizing that I consider that not much of a brag, if only because I know the amount of trips and stumbles it took to get to one completed project.

I've ditched a lot of ideas. A lot. If I need to I can dig into my old hard drives to find all the doc files from my youth, but I also have the same Google Docs I've had since middle school.

It's mostly plays and ghostwriting assignments, but if you did you'll find some snippets from my constant attempts at growth.

Some stuff like this is okay. The line "hair slicked back/suit black silk" is pretty good, but a little too the writer thinks they're clever for me now. I don't really remember where I planned to go with this. I think the narrator was somehow going to be given the identity of Roy Fontaine. I was really fixated on the surname Fontaine at the time. I don't know why.

But then there's also a lot of stuff like this:

Hey look it's Fontaine again! I guess he's a doctor, too! Also I am astounded by how casually the main character just pulls out the Necronomicon. He pulls it out? From where? His pocket? Is it a zine?

I don't know why, but something about how suddenly this jumps in terms of dropping specifics makes me think that Sonic the Hedgehog is about to show up. I can't explain it.

This is the only thing in a Doc titled "Psychosis". I have zero memory of what I was planning on doing with this. What's kind of crazy though is that I wrote this in 2014, and six years later I'll use essentially this exact bit in a finished novel without even realizing it.

Another bit from 2014. No clue what I planned to do with this. It's hilarious to me that something stopped me from finishing the sentence. What am I, Franz Kafka writing The Tower? I didn't die. I wasn't raptured. I just apparently tried to think of something a large oak door would do and immediately gave up. It was 2014 I had finished, like, four novels. And this idea was fully stalled by what had to be a fucking huge oak door.

My favorite part of this radio play I tried to write is that somehow, believe it or not - when I wrote this I did not fully understand the Quantum Suicide thought experiment. And for along time I still kind of thought that this could be salvaged into a good idea, until last night when I asked my wife to put on a video describing the experiment and I immediately found it so dumb. Just ridiculously stupid. The only good thing about Quantum Mickey is that the title kicks ass and I'm definitely keeping it for something.

I've written a lot. A lot. I've earned the severity of carpal tunnel I currently have. If I had to put it into a statistic, I'd say maybe seventy percent ends up finished. fifty percent ends up polished to be read or published. Thirty percent actually ends up being read or published. I'm okay with this, because I enjoy the work. But for me, part of enjoying the work is not panicking when a project doing work.

If I need to end a project in the middle of a sentence, I do. I've clearly proven that I do. Sometimes I write for thirty pages and lose interest, other times I get a paragraph in and get distracted forever. That's okay.

That's okay. As long as you're doing something.

I could've included segments of Carnation, my first novella that was supposed to be a novel but I never finished it. But I fucking guess that's getting it's own post when I hit 150 followers so I hope you're prepared for what the type of stuff I enjoyed in middle school.

There's an Irish child that speaks exclusively in slang. You aren't ready.

[androgynousblackbox]

Welcome to Hazbin Vale. 6 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2qk6VZokx0 Song on the background] "Greetings, everyone, good morning to all of you. Apologies for the late broadcast, there was a sudden issue I had to take care of that couldn't wait. Now thankfully it's all sorted out now so there is no need to talk more about it.

In fact, the less we talk about it all the better. If we can just pretend that never happened at all that would be just peachy. I am a profesional after all. A profesional who would never mix up personal affairs into his job.

Absolutely not. You all can trust on that.

But why dwell on nonsense when we can start the day at last? I hope our selection of music while you were waiting on your dear radio host was at the very least tolerable for all of our listeners. I didn't choose any of it so I can only hope. If they are any like the music that is on the background right now, then probably you all didn't had such a bad time.

Good. I am glad for that.

And the issue that is totally sorted out and that I totally didn't mix with my job can find her zippy cup on the left. Right there where I put it. Follow the direction of my hand, dear. That is right. Excelent.

Mmm. Let's start with the first order of business. I am sure that a good number of you already know, but for those who don't, today we are welcoming in our beautiful community a new resident.

Remember how we talked about the death of the old man Jenking? That poor man whose mental capabilities were already on their way out and made him say all kinds of crazy ideas at the pub? Well, apparently he wasn't just a noise maker.

He was also a grandpa. Which does explains the boxes full of baby stuff in the attic now that I think about it. Not that I ever saw them, by the way.

Anyway, because of that he had his own grandson that now has decided to come reside on the old house. I even had the pleasure of running into him during my morning stroll while he was bringing up some stuff inside.

I would have stayed there and talk some more to rely you more information, but as we established before, I had other things to take care of. I did managed to tell him to tune in with the rest of us, so hopefully he is listening right now.

Are you listening? Are you really listening?

Don't open that folder.

My friends, please give your warmest welcome to our new neighbor, Anthony.

I am sure he will be a valuable member of this community and won't cause any sort of problem for anyone. Hopefully he will remember our safety guide to keep himself safe.

Don't feed the raccoons, unless you have to, then denying them food will only make things worst. Remember to close your garbage can because nobody has to care about your business and, above all else, have fun! We love fun around these parts!

I hope you find that our beautiful town Hazbin Vale just about as beautiful and wonderful as we all do. There is a good reason why is that here where you can find your best friends…

What is that?

Oh, a phone is ringing.

Our own phone in fact!

I had no idea that we had a phone here or it was still working! Nobody has ever used it before. What a delightful surprise. Well, I guess since this listener took the time to give us a call, we should respond accordingly.

What button was it…

Oh, right, that one.

Hello and good morning, dear listener. You are on the air right now. What can your favorite radio host do for you on this lovely day?"

"Hi, sweetie. How are you and Charlie doing over there? I wanted to call you over, but you don't have your own cellphone so this was the best second option. Hope that is okay.

That is a lot of static right now. Hello, can you hear me?"

"We are both fine. I hear you perfectly well. Everything is fine and oh… yes, that is your dad. Do you want to…? Sure, why not. Just give me a second.

Alright, here we go. Dear listeners, for the first time in a long time we have a guest coming in the air with us today. Everyone be nice and pay attention to our very own small resident Charlie Morningstar. Say hi, Charlie."

"Hi, daddy!"

"Hi, duckling. How is my little princess doing?"

"I am good! I made a drawing of you and Alie like duckies!"

"You did? Aww, I bet it's the cutest thing I have ever seen. Make sure to show it to me when I go to pick you up. I am glad you are having a good time, baby.

Alastor, I just wanted to thank you so much for taking care of her so suddenly. It's my fault, I forgot that I had this reunion with the investors today and I didn't call the babysitter the night before so I really didn't have a lot of options. You really saved my life there."

"It's fine, unexpected things happen all the time. We have a lot of space here and Charlie is a good kid so she won't cause any trouble. Right, dear?"

"Nope! Alie wanted me to tell you that he gave me cookies and limonade! I liked the ones with strawberry yam inside."

"Off air, dear. You were supposed to say that off air."

"That is wonderful, duckling. I will try to wrap this up as fast as I can. What do you both want for lunch today? Alastor, you are coming of course."

"If you insist."

"Can I have burgers, daddy?"

"My baby girl can have anything she wants. Alastor, burgers are okay with you too?"

"Sure, sounds good to me."

"Then burgers for everyone it is. With some fries on the side?"

"Yes, fries!"

"Ha ha, I knew it. Alright, I will get them as soon I can. Right now I see that the bunch of old geezer coming back to the office so I should be going too.

I-I mean, the respectable members of the board! Who I totally respect and don't look a day older than 20!"

"Nice save, darling."

"Oh shush you. I will see you both later. Love you lots, Charlie, be nice with Alastor! Alastor… you should really do something about that static. I am sure that is not coming from my side. Yes, I am coming! Talk to you soon! Bye!"

"Bye, daddy!

The noise is gone now, Alie."

"Well, would you look at that. The issue was solved by itself and that means we don't have to talk about it ever again. How convenient.

You are rubbing your eyes a lot, dear. Do you have some kind of infection or are you sleepy?

That was a big yawn you let out just now."

"MMmmno sleepy."

"Well, you can be not sleepy on the couch over there if you want. Grab my coat if you get cold. I won't take too long here. I just need to take care of a couple of things and then we can get you home."

"Okay…"

"Good girl. Down you go.

That was our guest star of today, dear listeners, our very own Charlie Morningstar. Isn't she a doll?

But anyway, I know we are all eager to get back on track so…

Another call?

Well, this day is just full of surprises, isn't it? Wonder who that could be. Greetings, dear listener, you are in the air right now."

"Hey. So. What was that about being a professional that doesn't mix personal affairs with his job?"

"Oops! Clumsy me!

I accidentally pressed the button to end that call. But don't worry, officer Husker. I am sure that while you were wasting your time making that call only a handful of criminals got away. I am so glad to know that our tax money is being put to such good use.

You are still on time to catch them though, if you start moving fast. It could be a good exercise after eating all those donuts. If we are ever so lucky you might be able to find a manhole to fall into from the streets and get lost in for all of eternity. Wouldn't that be so grand?

If I do ever need advice on how to be a waste of air, I will be sure to call you.

Don't push your luck, old pal.

Ah.

Are we done with the unexpected interruptions now? Are people going to stop requiring my attention? Mmm, mister telephone? Some people can be so rude and then they just advantage of your good manners, dear lsiteners. You give them a hand and they take a shoulder. Must the suffering of yours truly never end?

I think we are good now to finally return to our schedule.

As I was trying to say before a much less wanted interruption, the cemetery as of today is also off limits for everyone.

Try to avoid it as much as possible and, like always, don't pay any mind to any sounds, no matter how loud or frequent comes from there. There is nothing to worry about at all. If you find yourself on the same street, change your ways. You will thank me later.

Your dead will be taken care of anyway. Just leave them where they are and walk away. As fast as you can.

The workers are working to get rid of some pests just to feed a few mouths that have been hungry for far too long.

The moon is smiling upside down for all of us. Let's be in our best behavior tonight and not turn it into a frown. The night doesn't want to claim anyone else, it won't need to, so let's try to come back to home early and have heavy, uninterrupted dreams.

Goodness me, is that really all the time we have left? Where did all those minutes go? I was planning to add a little something there, a bit of a friendly words for our new resident, but I guess it will have to be for tomorrow. For now, I can tell you this, Anthony.

Don't let your curiosity get the better of you. No matter how tempting. No matter how much you want to.

It could be the last thing that you do.

Now, for the weather…"

[cdd-systems-support]

hi idk if you do like... advice or anything? ik ur blog has support in the url but I'm not the best at inferring stuff sometimes so like if u don't answer this sort of thing ur totally free to delete it, no hard feelings i can always find someone else to ask 👍

anyway I'm just... kind of stressed that i moght be wrong about being a system? i mean it's something I've been kind of sure of for a few years now but i also have a lot of other mental health stuff going on so 1. I'm worried being a system AND psychotic AND depressed AND having ocd AND being autistic AND having adhd is like... too much? even though i know it's fully possible it still feels like I'm not allowed or something. and 2. i can't relate to a lot of apparently common experiences? like i can't talk to my alters or anything like that but i have memory loss and dissociate a lot and reading back conversations and old posts i can tell like. oh that message i don't remember sending doesn't sound quite like me. so it makes things super confusing and makes me worried about saying anything about it because if I'm wrong I'll feel like an awful person, but if I'm right then it's something I'd like my friends to know, you know?

anyway I'm sorry for dumping all this on you but if you have any advice for like. figuring this stuff out (or if you can just tell me like "yeah you're not a system" that would help immensely too lol) it would be hugely appreciated, but again, no pressure to answer or even read this, wishing you the best regardless!

hi! am answer this sort of things, so don't worry! thank you for asking.

1) it's not only normal but pretty common to have a lot of comorbidities. disabilities are like "buy one, get 7 for free." let's look at your list.

adhd and autism have high comorbidity rate and it's widely recognized in community and medical field. sourse

"as many as 80% of adults with adhd have at least one coexisting psychiatric disorder." sourse

and it's also widely recognized and known that autism and adhd have high comorbidity with depression and anxiety disorders.

"individuals first diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders had a 2-fold higher risk of a later diagnosis of ocd, whereas individuals diagnosed with ocd displayed a nearly 4-fold higher risk to be diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders later in life." sourse

"there is strong evidence for the existence of a high comorbidity between autism and psychosis with percentages reaching up to 34... according to literature, up to 34.8% of the patients with a diagnosis of asd can show psychotic symptoms and, similarly, autistic traits have been reported in schizophrenia patients in a percentage ranging between 3.6 and 60%." sourse

"while some studies showed no co-occurrence of ssds (schizophrenia spectrum disorders) and dds (dissociative disorders), others showed that between 9% and 50% of schizophrenia spectrum patients also meet diagnostic criteria for a dd. one study showed that in a sample of patients diagnosed with dissociative identity disorder (did) 74.3% also met diagnostic criteria of a ssd, 49.5% met diagnostic criteria for schizoaffective disorder, and 18.7% met diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia." sourse

as you may see, neurodivergencies you listed are comorbid with one another. it's very possible to have them all (yes i haven't found comorbidities for every diagnosis with every diagnosis but there's some examples).

also, being system is a result of trauma, and being neurodivergent kid may be traumatizing experience. you may face ableism and misunderstanding, live in world unfriendly to your neurotype, etc. also being neurodivergent may increase your sensitivity to trauma or may do some "normal" things traumatic to you (like being forced to socialize, being forced to mask, etc).

so it's definitely not "too much" to have all these neurodivergencies and it makes sense actually.

2) your experience of being system doesn't have to match perfectly with others' experiences.

some people can't talk to alters. some people use external communication. some people can't communicate with alters at all. some people (me) may not notice communication.

it's possible to have high dissociative barriers. it's possible (and pretty common) to struggle with communication. it may be underrepresented in some community places, but it's very real challenge for lots of systems.

(also you may wanna research osdd-1a and pdid).

i have made post with some did signs (not exhaustive but heard of). maybe you may find it useful to look for different signs of alters presenting, not only communication. here

and again. if you come up wrong, you won't be awful. making mistakes doesn't make someone awful. it's okay not to know. it's okay not to be sure. it's okay to be questioning. it's okay to question something and be wrong / decide it's not your situation. you aren't bad. you don't appropriate things when you try to understand yourself. when you try to figure things out.

you may tell your friends if you wanna. even if you aren't perfectly sure. you may call yourself questioning system.

no one is born with clear and perfect knowledge abt themselves. to know yourself you have to question things. and sometimes you will be wrong. and it's okay.

hope it was helpful. if you have more questions (or if i misunderstood something and haven't answered properly), feel free to ask.

[rottenbrainstuff]

IWTV S2 ep 5 - the good Young Daniel shit. TW: mild suicidal ideation? imp of the perverse? or something?

Nice, I was really waiting for this one. I just love Young Daniel, I find him so incredibly delightful, and I’m trying to pin down why.

Part of it of course is that the actor does such a good job, part of it is how charming I find his big goofy grin, how he flips back and forth between XD and DX so quickly. But I think it’s also because since episode one we’ve focused mostly on nothing but vampires, who’ve had decades or centuries of trauma and grapple with super-human sorrows and fears, and even old Daniel has had a full life of disillusionment and regret and physical pain. But here's Young Daniel and he is so different from everyone, even his future self, so young and naive and fresh, really the absolute antithesis of every other character we’ve got used to at this point. Maybe that's it.

Armand continues to be so pathetic to me in how simple he is. Like, while I watch all this, I'm reading up on V:tM for my daughter's game, and like. Armand isn't running some elaborate political long-game with complicated motivations only a 7th generation methuselah would understand, it's all just so pathetically basic, he wants someone to love him (Lestat, Louis, Daniel... doesn't matter who) and he doesn't understand why no one loves him like he wants. Man I remember his face back when Louis was talking about his Lestat hallucination, the very bare hurt. So lonely and so simple.

Mr. Easeful Death. I found this whole bit extremely disturbing, because Assad is a good actor and the whole thing is extremely comforting and compelling to me, like an anglerfish lure drawing the deep sea fish right in. It would work on me, in a heartbeat, and I find that disturbing to contemplate, like standing at the edge of a big drop and being terrified of how easy it would be to fall. Armand's little merciful hunting that he talks about in that one short story, finding the people who are so tired of being alive, or finding the people who desperately want to be consumed by a demon lover, and becoming that for them, yeah that would work on me, pathetically easy. Don't Fear the Reaper and all of that jazz - I would be gone, gone immediately, gone before he even finished his spiel. Rest - my god, yes please. I am so tired. And so, I found the whole scene so incredibly disturbing. Armand is the feeling of comfort that comes at the end when someone is freezing to death, the relaxing nitrogen narcosis that urges the deep sea diver to do something stupid and sink to their death, the light that lures the little fish right into the mouth of the anglerfish. That is 500% my jam, that scares the shit right out of me, gentle loving death as a mercy, a service, a putting-out-of-misery, yikes. It's terrifying. I fucking love it.

To my surprise though, Daniel fights against it. He has things he wants to keep working on, his life isn't pointless, he likes his life, he wants to live. Broke my heart. Perhaps you could say that my surprise with his reaction comes from my own extremely bad world view. But I wonder if that's not the normal reaction Armand usually gets. He didn't really react to Daniel's objection - I kind of wish he did, I think it would be neat to establish this was something that sets Daniel apart and surprises Armand. Armand thinks he's grasped the threads that will help him unravel Daniel's resistance, he's done this so many times before, but this time it takes a couple tries to get it right. I wonder if it makes Daniel fascinating to Armand as well. Oh well! Just a thought.

Poor old Louis, poor old everyone.

I had mentioned I had watched some video analysis of the show (which pointed out the characters I thought were new were actually based on stuff from the book, which I had forgot/missed, dummy) Seems that, understandably I guess, ep 5 was (is) controversial. And now I feel like a bad fan, because unlike a lot of people, apparently, I like that Lestat has done something that is actually unforgivable. I am not excusing his behaviour, I think it's inexcusable, and that's why I like it. I... yeah man. I dunno. I feel like a bad fan. Everyone talked about how book Lestat would not do that. And at the time when I first watched the ep, that's exactly what I thought as well - Lestat was always a shit but he was never this bad. Episode 6 made me think back on that some more though. I just... Look, I don't really care for book Lestat. Not towards the end, anyway. To me, as the books went on, he became more and more like someone's bad dnd character, the most special and the most skilled with the most sad backstory and this and that and blah blah blah and not enough realistic flaws to balance things out.

In the video it said gross fans are excusing his behaviour like oh, well, it's because of xyz abuse, it's because of abc thing, my gosh I even saw a post saying that you know maybe the reason for the ep 5 fight was all because of Amel (lore stuff - it's this spirit of violence and rage that infects all vampires) and that wasn't the "real Lestat" at all like... noooooo no no no no no no *sigh*. I'm not excusing anything. I mean, the past abuse puts things into context and makes it sad and interesting because it's a perpetuation of cycles of abuse, but that doesn't excuse it. I like that Lestat has done something legitimately inexcusable. I liked how shocked I was in ep 5 and how convinced by his sincerity I was in ep 6 and I like how that left me conflicted and confused. I like that it's difficult. I don't want it excused or explained or handwaved, I want it to stay ugly and uncomfortable, exactly as it is.

Man. I really do feel like a bad fan though. Am I the only one who can't stand the later books and wants this show to be 6 seasons max? Two seasons each for IWTV, Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned. They can inject appropriate bits of Vampire Armand as needed. And then after that, stop. No more. Am I the only one? Anyways. Creeping closer to the end of season 2 now. I can't wait to see more of Madeline and Claudia, even if it's so sadly short before the big bad wrap up.