#application for a flying craft

[imperiuswan]

My super-accurate f1 movie review!

I'm a pessimist f1 fan with free will so come along as I detail all 52 things I disliked about the f1 movie. (SPOILERS)

In the teaser of the movie, the engineer played by Kerry Condon (never caught her name) had an american accent and in the final movie cut she switched to Irish.

Max's championship stars were erased from his helmet. Noted from the trailer. Kind of small detail but as a Max girly i am pissed.

The only female mechanic messes up. Wasn't as bad as seen as a trailer, but I didn't like how they portrayed her as an innocent little girl who went around seeking validation from Sonny and the other drivers. A step back for women in motorsport.

Sonny hooked up with the female engineer. Again, not as bad as it they made it seems from the trailer, but the plot makes it appear like all her good work she made for apex after was motivated by the gain of Sonny, and not as part of her job. Makes it look like she was slacking before, and in other words, mocked her role as chief technical director in the team.

Brad Pitt got to drive a real f1 car in COTA. I made a post about it earlier, but it irks me that a man who has no involvement in motorsport got a chance to test F1 with mclaren rather than a promising F2/F3 driver.

Overtaking in the middle of a straight. If you know, you know.

Brad Pitt and Damson Idris drove real cars. It's cool that the racing scenes were real, but

Brad Pitt and Damson Idris got real grid kids standing with them during filming, which occured during the actual national anthem in Abu Dhabi 2024. I googled the criteria for becoming a grid kid and it involves being nominated by your karting club and also completing a video application. Like imagine you work so hard at karting and craft an impeccable application just to find out you will be a grid kid for Brad Pitt. I pity those two kids.

Joshua Pearce's ridiculous crash where he flipped around looking like a salmon. I think the footage was based off of Alex Peroni's crash in F3 2019. Modern ground effect f1 cars are unable to flip that way as it is specifically designed with long wheelbase and balanced weight distribution, so sudden pitch (nose-up or nose-down movement) is minimised. Therefore, such a flip (especially from such a small bump on the track) will be impossible.

There is no kerb in that corner at monza (the parabolica).

On the topic of the crash, when the car was going full fidget spinner in the air, the front wing just miraculously detached without any impact and goes flying. This clearly violates Newton's first law. UMMM.

Last note on the crash, when Sonny got out to help, he pullet over at the right of the track while Joshua Pearce's car was on the left.

The Brad Pitt fainting scene got cut out: THANK GOD!

When Charles was forced to film the podium scene and spray Brad Pitt with champagne. That was probably the most depressing 10 minutes of his formula 1 career, especially after he went from p19 to p3 in Abu Dhabi and ferrari STILL lost constructors. Poor Charles.

Clear visors in every day race. Inaccurate, I guess they really needed to show the eyes of the drivers. However, all the actual drivers had tinted visors.

Simone Ashley was cut out last minute from the film. I don't know much about it but seeing from social media she was greatly wronged.

I hate how Pearce and Hayes were abbreviated as PRC and HYS respectively on the timing sheet. Gave me a jump scare in the cinema as I though it stood for People's Republic of China and high yield savings. Seriously, why. I can't think of a single cinematic or practical reason to use it in favour over PEA and HAY.

Very unrealistic how Sonny blatantly disobeyed his teams instruction to box during the race when they were literally waiting in position in the pit lane. Really immature of a driver to do that if it happened in real life. Immediate lashing out by media. Probably put on probation after heated private meeting with the team principal. Maybe even fired.

The daytona pit stops at the beginning were way to slow and I thought Sonny's comment to his teammate about not losing his lead was quite threatening and unsportsmanlike.

In the opening scene of Apex gp garage, Joshua Pearce pulls in after testing, and gets out of a car at a lightning quick speed that I have never seen a driver get out at except when the car is on fire. Usually they take their time but thats a small detail they missed.

Additionally, immediately after Joshua Pearce gets out, a german speaking family comes in (idk who they are) and the children immediately climb into the cockpit and sit on the tires. Like after a testing stint the tires will be 100 degrees and the mechanics have yet to finish undergoing the process of cooling the car down to stop the engine. It is no place for a child to fool around in.

When Sonny crashes in the Silverstone test, no medical car is deployed even though the FIA requires supplies a medical car for all testing. Instead an ambulance comes even though it is supposed to arrive after the medical car assesses the situation. Also, why were there two ambulances if there is only one driver involved in the crash.

On Sonny's test lap, it probably wasn't even allowed under FIA regulations. Drivers are not allowed to test the current year's car in season, and even if they get to drive it they require special promotional tyres that aren't suited for fast driving. Yes Apex may have gotten special permission for Sonny, but judging based off the premise where literally no one wanted to join the team, I doubt it happened. It was certainly not permitted for Joshua Pearce to be testing the car, though.

The movie is supposably based on the 2023 season, and begins at the 9th to last race. In the film, it is purported to be Silverstone, however the actual ninth to last race in 2023 was Monza.

Apparently the outdoor scenes for Apex gp factory were filmed at the Mclaren Technology Centre. Apex gp is worth 350 million, and least expensive actual team, Haas, is worth a little over a billion. IF they are such a struggling team, how did they build such as high tech, modern factory, when a historically successful team like Williams operates out of a factory that resembles a decrepit school house?

During the team principals' press conference, everyone gave very short answers. Like Fred Vasseur and Zak Brown gave 1 sentence answers respectively, which barely answered the journalists' questions. Completely out of the loop considering the media training in modern f1, which requires a 4 sentence response at minimum that includes expressing one's opinion in conjunction with a diplomatic rebuttal that ensures their words will not be twisted by the press.

Why is Kerry Condon's character, the engineer, simultaneously the Chief technical director aerodynamicist and head of strategy? Her previous experience was aerospace engineering at Lockheed, so I'm curious where she gained her race strategy experience.

Why are aerodynamicists on the pit wall?

Kerry Condon's character was reduced to a stereotypical pick me who is "not like other girls". Someone who is good at poker, looks down on men, rolls her eyes frequently and yet simultaneously has a soft side that she is too anxious to reveal to just any man (except maybe brad pitt) Just bleh.

The Apex gp interview panel was so weird. Like the rounded marble white backdrop made me feel like this was filmed on the Artemis expedition to the moon. I have never seen an f1 team conduct interviews in that setting, it seems more appropriate for a football club ig.

What was up with the drivers' outfits in that interview? Sonny's clothes looked like it hadn't been washed in weeks and the unbutton shirt was largely inappropriate. Joshua Pearce's outfit was also quite offensive but to a lesser extent. They should be wearing team kit.

They also didn't seem very media trained. Idk exactly what they said but it perturbed me as stuff actual f1 drivers would never dare mention in response to an interview. Like an actual team in 2025 would never let one of its drivers call the other old and deeming them the "team's charity project".

All the tracks were oriented north when they were introduced before the races. A small detail, but perhaps not the best way to introduce viewers to the tracks as it reduced the recognisability of the track if f1 movie fans want to watch an actual f1 race

For both the Abu Dhabi and Silverstone GPs, the timing of the planes after national anthem was off. They are supposed to fly over the track after the national anthem was completed, rather than during the last verse.

After the national anthem in Silverstone the song "we will rock you" song played very loudly over Sonny and Rubens' conversation with the Apex gp investor. Very bad cinematic choice imo.

I find it hard to believe that Sonny Hayes, who was a former F1 driver, participated in private testing for Apex GP, and (so it seems) studied the rules and regulations of modern f1 prior to Silverstone would forget how to start the car.

F1tv is not available in the UK, where Joshua Pearce lives. Therefore, I find it odd that he was watching Sonny's old races off F1tv and not sky sports.

What were the team orders in the first race? They clearly didn't have a defined first or second driver yet, and believed the Sonny had greater potential than Joshua Pearce due to his years of experience of racecraft and motorsport. Therefore, wouldn't it make sense to let Sonny pass?

I haven't seen a driver getting physical with another driver, or slamming their helmet in anger, or destroying their steering wheel in anger in a good 8-10 years, so I enjoyed it when Sonny told Joshua off after their collision. One of the more entertaining parts of the film.

It was degrading how Sonny was mansplaining aerodynamics to Kate the engineer. Like she knows that a car needs to be able to run in dirty air.

Why did they change the tire rim during their pit stop? I may be going blind though.

Why was the pit wall shouting at the mechanics during the pit stop? Can't they communicate through their advanced speaker-headphone system that would allow them not to be overheard by the other teams?

Sonny Hayes was going around crashing into other drivers fabricating safety car periods just for his teammate to get points. He didn't receive any penalty points for cooking up Crashgate 2.0.

On an off note, there was an awful lot of amity inside Apex gp during this movie. Why can't Red Bull be like this.

When it was torrential down poring during the Monza race, neither Sonny nor Joshua Pearce tore off their peel offs when their visor was soaked in rain drops. Like do you want poor visibility??!

If you don't put on rain tires when it is raining, your race will definitely be compromised, and will most certainly run off the track. Apex gp should learn from Lando Norris in sochi 2021.

Sonny Hayes, an f1 driver, should not be making strategy decisons for his teammate DURING THE RACE. If he gives his COMPLETELY UNSOLICITED advice, the role of the team is to ignore it and keep Sonny FOCUSSED ON HIS OWN RACE.

A general motif throughout the film was the Sonny was a good for nothing loser who made a bunch of dumb decisions to end up recluse bum living in a dilapidated van. How was he suddenly offered the position of being race strategist? It is almost certain that he does not have a high school diploma, let alone a degree in mechanical engineering. Even based on his history, I can't see how he can be one that excels at strategising.

The FIA does not allow the substitution of a reserve driver after qualifying. It is evidenced that the FIA wasn't even notified that a change in driver lineup has occurred, as originally the graphic for the Apex reserve drive Luca something showed up as opposed to Sonny Hayes during the start of the race. In the event that it has been allowed by the FIA, it automatically requires a start from the pit lane, which Brad Pitt did not do.

When Sonny crashed during Abu Dhabi, Kate gave major Y/N vibes when she ran off the pit wall and towards the fence out of personal, rather than professional concern. Again, further degrading the status of women in motorsport.

There was a countdown for the remaining time under the red flag, which I had never seen before and does not exist outside of free practice.

What was the significance of the socks amongst Apex gp? Was it to remind them of the camaraderie they built during their runs? I don't get it, someone pls explain.

xoxo,

frida

ps. tell me if i missed anything

[thejournallo]

Complete Guide to Creating Your Shifting Script

Lately, my desire to shift these days is sky high! So I went and relooked at all the methods and things I have covered in my shifting masterlist and I noticed that scripting was not there; it is in my manifestation masterlist. So let's do a deep dive into scripting FOR SHIFTING with a better-done tutorial.

What is Scripting?

Scripting is the process of writing down details about your desired reality (DR) before you attempt to shift there. Think of it as creating a blueprint or instruction manual for where you want to go. Many shifters find that having a well-crafted script helps them visualize their DR more clearly and shift more successfully.

Why Script?

Clarifies your intentions - Helps you focus on exactly what you want

Creates a stronger connection to your DR

Provides mental anchors to focus on during shifting methods

Prevents unwanted scenarios by setting boundaries and safeguards

Step 1: Choose Your Format

There's no single "correct" way to format your script. Popular options include:

Traditional Script Format

Written like instructions or statements, often in present tense: I am [your DR name]. I live in [location]. My appearance is [description].

Letter Format

Written as a letter to yourself or the universe: Dear Universe, When I shift to my DR, I will be living in a beautiful apartment in Paris...

Story Format

Written like a narrative about your life in your DR: [Your name] wakes up in their beautiful bedroom. The sunlight streams through the curtains as they stretch and prepare for another wonderful day in [DR location]...

the one i use the most is story format because it helps me visualize it more.

Step 2: Essential Elements to Include

Basic Information

Your name in your DR

Your age

Your physical appearance (or specify if same as current reality. if you are doing your script online just add a picture)

Where you live

Your occupation/role

Important relationships

Physical Environment

Your home/living space

Important locations

Climate/weather patterns

Time period (modern day, historical, futuristic)

Safety Measures & Boundaries

Time ratio between DR and CR

Memory retention (what you'll remember from CR and viceversa)

Return methods (how you'll come back when ready.)

Protection statements (Ex:"I am safe at all times")

Personal Details

Personality traits

Skills and abilities

Daily routine

Health status

Special items you possess

Step 3: Advanced Scripting Techniques

Script Affinities

Consider creating connections between your script and physical objects in your CR:

"When I touch this crystal, I feel connected to my DR"

"This scent reminds me of my DR home"

Scripting Permissions & Limitations

Define what can and cannot happen in your DR

"I cannot experience physical pain beyond mild discomfort"

"I am immune to serious illness"

"I can fly/teleport/use magic" (if applicable to your DR)

Scripting Awareness Levels

Decide how aware you'll be of the shifting process:

Full awareness (remember CR completely)

Partial awareness (remember you shifted but fewer CR details)

No awareness (fully immersed as if DR is your only reality)

Step 4: Making Your Script Effective

Use Present Tense

Write as if your desired reality is already happening:

"I am living in Paris" instead of "I will live in Paris"

"I have blue eyes" instead of "I want blue eyes"

Be Specific Yet Flexible

Be detailed about important elements

Allow room for natural development in less crucial areas

"I live in a comfortable home that feels peaceful" vs. listing exact measurements

Include Sensory Details

Engage all five senses when describing your DR:

What does it look like? (colors, lighting, architecture)

What does it sound like? (music, nature sounds, voices)

What does it smell like? (foods, flowers, fresh air)

What does it feel like? (textures, temperature, emotions)

What does it taste like? (favorite foods/drinks in your DR)

Positive Phrasing

Focus on what you want, not what you don't want

"I am healthy and energetic" instead of "I don't get sick"

Step 5: Common Scripting Questions

"Do I have to script everything?"

No! Your subconscious will fill in details you don't specify. Many shifters prefer to script only the most important elements and allow their DR to develop naturally.

"Can I change my script later?"

Absolutely! You can add to or modify your script at any time. Some shifters even script the ability to make changes while in their DR.

"What if I forget something important?"

You can include a safety statement like: "Even if not explicitly stated, my DR is exactly as I intend it to be."

"How long should my script be?"

There's no required length. Some shifters use one-page scripts while others write dozens of pages. Start with what feels comfortable and add more details as you think of them.

Sample Script Template

MY DESIRED REALITY SCRIPT BASIC INFORMATION My name: My age: My appearance: Where I live: My role/occupation: RELATIONSHIPS Family: Friends: Romantic relationships: Other important people: DAILY LIFE My typical day: My home: My skills/abilities: My personality: SHIFTING SPECIFICS Time ratio (DR:CR): Memory retention: Return method: Safety measures: SPECIAL NOTES (Any other important details specific to your DR)

Remember, your script is a personal tool to help you shift. There's no single "right way" to script - the best approach is whatever works for you and helps you connect most deeply with your desired reality!

Happy shifting!

[the-whatcherof-89]

Commission for @pixlemonade

Grian “Big Boss” Xelqua Aka The Legendary Poultry Man.

CR 17 N Medium Humanoid Strix

XP 102,400 (if used as npc for encounter)Strix Cleric 10 Evangelist 7

Neutral Medium humanoid, Strix Init +2; Senses Perception +29

AC 31, touch 13, flat-footed 29 (+2 Dex, +10 Armor, +4 Shield, +1 Intuition, +4 Natural) hp 115 (16d8+34)

Fort +11, Ref +19, Will +12

Speed 60 ft. Flying, Land speed 30ft. Melee Returning shortspear+16/11/6 1D8+4 RangedRanged Spell+14, Returning shortspear+17/12/7 1D8+4

Racial Dayguard, Suspicious, Darkvision 60ft, Low light vision 60ft, Hatred, Fly speed 60ft, Land speed 30ft.

Traits Obsession(Buttons, etc), Spark of creation.

Class features Aura, Channel Energy 9D6, Domains Artifice, Air), Divine obedience,Skilled (Use magic device, Fly), Protective grace +2, Aligned class (Cleric), Divine boons (Strategic warrior, Sensibility of crafting), Creator’s touch, Material transformation, Gift of tongues(Ignan, Auran), Multitude of talents(+4 sacred bonus on untrained skills).

Spellcasting CL17 DC17 spells per day 

4/6+1/6+1/6+1/5+1/5+1/5+1/5+1/3+1/2+1/1+1

Str 12, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 12, Wis 24, Cha 10

Base Atk +12/7/2; CMB +13; CMD +25

Feats Brew potions, Deific obedience, Extend spell, Craft magic weapons and armors, Craft wondrous magic items, Empower spells, Quicken spells, Maximize spells, Master crafter.

Skills Appraise +5, Craft(Metal) +20, Craft(Stone) +14, Diplomacy +4, Fly +21, Heal +10, Knowledge (arcana, history, religion) +14, engineering +9 (nobility, the planes,) +5, Linguistics +5, Perception +19, Profession(architect) +19, (engineer)+14, Sense motive +14, Spellcraft +14, Use magic device +13.

Languages Common, Draconic, Strix, Ignan, Auran.

Combat gear Manual of understanding+3(used), Returning shortspear+3, Mithral catskin breastplate+4, Caster shield(greater), Amulet of natural armor+4, Dusty rose ion stone, Headband of aerial agility+6(Wis), Rainbow lenses, Eagle cape, Belt of giant strength+2, Rod of thunder and lighting, Robe of useful items, Arrow magnet, Band of the colorful(pride) flight (ring of feather falling+Ring of flying improved+Colored flight), 4 Potions of cure critical wounds, Cleric kit, MWK tools(stone mason), 105GP.

Spells per day 0- All. 1-Animate ropes, Bless, Command, Divine favor, Sanctuary, Shield of faith, Summon monster I 2-Wind wall, Bear’s endurance, Sonic boom, Cat’s grace, Summon monster 2, Aid, Make whole. 3-Gaseous form, Dispel magic, Summon monster 3, Remove blindness/deafness, Blindness/deafness, Remove curse, Protection from energy. 4-Airwalk, Summon minor planar ally, Summon monster 4, Divine power, Freedom of movement, Divination. 5-Fabricate, Flamestrike, Summon monster 5, Spell resistance, Truesight, Reanimate dead. 6-Major creation, Planar ally, Animate objects, Dispel magic major, Word of return, Blade wall, Mass bull strength. 7-Elemental body(air), Regeneration, Destruction, Resurrection. 8-Whirlwind, Planar ally major, Summon monster VIII. 9-Miracle, Prismatic sphere.

Mumbo Jumbo Aka Bumbo Baggins the Mustache Man.

CR 17 N Humanoid, Dwarf

XP 102,400 (if used as npc for encounter)Dwarf Wizard (Conjurer, Creation school)15 Lore master 2

Neutral Medium humanoid Init +2; Senses Perception +20

AC 22, touch 17, flat-footed 20 (+2 Dex, +5 Deflection, +5Mage armor) Hp 135 (17d6+51)

Fort +13, Ref +13, Will +17

Speed 20 ft. Melee Father’s forgehammer+11/6 1d8+31 RangedRanged Spell+10

Racial Speed 20ft, Defensive training, Unstoppable, Stone cunning, Craftsman, Industrious urbanite, Stability, Darkvision 60ft, Weapon familiarity.

Traits Spark of creation, Socially awkward.

Class features Summon familiar (archetype Valet), Arcane bond (Familiar Cat), Create gear, Creator’s will, Summoner’s charm, Scribe scroll, Specialization  school (Conjuration), Arcane discoveries: Arcane builder(wondrous magic items), Fast study, Golem constructor(Iron), Lore, Secret of health, Applicable knowledge(Forge ring).

Spellcasting CL17 DC18 spells per day 4/6/6/6/6/5/5/4/3/1

Str 12, Dex 14, Con 14, Int 26, Wis 14, Cha 8

Base Atk +8/3; CMB +9; CMD +21

Feats Brew potions, Extend spell, Skill focus (Knowledge Arcana), Alchemical affinity, Craft wondrous magic items, Craft magic armors and weapons, Maximize spell, Empower spell.

Skills Appraise +16, Craft(Metal) +28, Craft(Redstone) +28, Fly +10, Knowledge (Arcana +31, Dungeoneering +16, Engineering+28, Nature+16, Geography+16, History+16, Local+16, Nobility+11, Planes +16, Religion+11), Linguistics +2, Perception +10, Profession(engineer)+22, Perform(oratory) +3, Spellcraft +28, Use magic device +19.

Languages Common, Draconic, Dwarf, Giant, Terran, Orchis, Acquan.

Combat gear Headband of mental prowess+4(Int, Wis, Craft metal), Amulet of spell mastery, monocle of flawlessness, Father’s forge hammer, Engineer’s workgloves, Winged boots, Belt of giant strength+2, All tools vest, Traveler’s any tool, Handy haversack, Mallet of building, Clock of resistance+5, Ring of protection+5, Ring of crafting improved(Redstone), Artificer portable lab, Mumbo’s top hat(functions as a Cap of light and a Hedge wizard Conjurer’s cloak), Conduit rod, Scrolls(Planar binding greater, Anywhere but here, Expeditious constructions), Staff of conjuration, Blessed book, Potions(4 Cure Critical wounds, 2 Invisibility, 2 Blur), Wand of Summon monster II, Wizard kit, 15GP.

Spells known Mostly Conjuration spells Forbidden schools: Necromancy, Enchantment (around 45) 

Spells typically prepared 9-Portal. 8-Summon monster VIII, Labyrinth 7-Limited wish, Wondrous mansion, Clenched hand, Reflect spells. 6-Mass bull strength, Contingency, Chain lighting, Iron wall, Dispel magic greater. 5-Telekinesis, Teleportation, Summon monster V, Wall of stone, Cone of cold. 4-Elastic sphere, Summon monster IV, Dimensional door, Stoneskin, Black tentacles, Solid fog. 3-Haste, Shrink item, Fireball, Summon monster III, Dispel magic, Resist energy. 2-Make whole, Mirror images, Glitterdust, Summon swarm, Web, See invisibility. 1-Shrink person, Magic missile, Grease, Unseen servant, Mage armor, Shield.

0-All except forbidden schools.

Background Grian and Mumbo lived in a faraway land known for their hermit residents where they are renowned for their incredible talent for architecture and his incredibly complex contraptions respectively. Both of them where building some crazy structure and as always creating some cunning brain-teaser or practical joke to have a laugh while at it. Still, when one day they were about to make their usual pranks and almost detonated each other in the attempt, Grain and Mumbo heard a voice: “Your aid… needed… someone important… lost… will you aid us?” Thinking it was a prank from another Hermit known for his Scars and his fancy Top Hats they went along and accepted only to find themselves transformed and transported into a completely different world. Now they have a mission on hand: Retrieve a lost entity from far away that bestowed part of his powers upon them.

IMPORTANT: None of the images are mine they belong to the following artists in the link. I did this for no profit only for entertainment.

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 3/18/2025

in which we read a lesbian romance where the highs are pretty fuckin good and the lows are not so pretty good

listening: the giver by chappell roan

reading: a bella books update, but mostly Beautiful Journey by Kenna White

watching: fallow week

playing: genshin (!) and Pokémon

making: garden update, rit dye bounty

listening

new single out. i want to hear this in EVERY commercial this summer

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reading

special shoutout to a blazed tumblr post that led me to Haden Cross’ Uncontinented Stars, a queer moby-dick retelling. before you dismiss it out of hand here are some of my thoughts about how it neatly avoids some common queer retelling pitfalls

in this gay and lesbian romance project, i really think (one of) my (big) problem(s) is with Bella Books specifically as a publisher and their lack of quality control or editing assistance, but we are closer to done with them. with the bella and naiad conglomerate, i have two books of short stories (one naiad one bella, neither with covers i can take to work) and two more naiad originals after this. i will be breaking them up into three weeks in between kim baldwins (the insane lesbian bunker mercenary one i enjoyed).

three up this week: could not finish the one on the left due to a printing error with random missing pages, could not finish the one on the right bc of a hard-out trigger.

this is Kenna White’s Beautiful Journey, a 2008 Bella Books original (not acquired from Naiad), 276p softcover with a worse than usual application of glue to the perfect bound binding.

Kit Anderson is determined to make a difference. All around her the Battle for Britain is raging, and ferrying factory-fresh airplanes to combat bases makes excellent use of her skills as flight lieutenant for the British Women’s Air Transport Auxiliary. An American in southern England, she is undaunted by war. It’s safer than love.

The talented aviatrix could fly a crippled craft through a thunderstorm without a compass and find her way home, so it is singularly disconcerting to find herself flying in circles around Emily Mills, a too young, too attractive and too abrasive British literature teacher. Even though Emily’s grandmother is Lady Marble, it’s a time of war and scarcity and Emily needs work. Kit offers to help her find a job on the air base—and as is often true, no good deed goes unpunished.

i had zero expectations from a bella books book (and there were still a handful of misspellings and formatting glitches) but on a scene by scene level, White is excellent at setting a scene and making it come fully alive with a sort of forties wartime romcom slapstick vibe. in the back half there’s a very good very coen brothers scene with ornery pig farming lesbians, married for twenty-eight years, who (after holding her at shotgunpoint and wanting to see the American label in her American silk underwear) help Kit get her plane out of a field after an emergency landing and some intergenerational bonding. to which she gifts them her silk parachute as an anniversary present. there’s a great dramatic romantic set piece during a daytime air raid in London, where they flee a claustrophobic, unhygenic tube station and shelter outdoors in an alcove (very stupid). a big dramatic kiss to comfort someone and distract them from a panic attack. that sort of thing.

contains one of the worst reactions to a first orgasm i have ever read: i texted my bestie in horror “American lesbian successfully seduced British lesbian (found out she was a virgin, got her clothes off) and after she made the British lesbian come the British lesbian BURST INTO TEARS AND RAN OFF INTO THE NIGHT” HELLO??? EMILY WHAT??? while this is a BONKERS thing to do in real life i must applaud this specific bella book for making me go HELLO??? in this way and not in frustration bc i want something! anything! to happen. good decisions are out interesting decisions are in etc. bella books sets SUCH a low bar.

also contains straight up one of the most effective scenes ive read in this project so far, that made me tear up AT WORK:

the book has a very water-themed series of mishaps (walks in on Kit while she’s having a bath, drenches her with dirty water from a kitchen pot, doesn’t set the brake on a truck and Kit has to drop flat in the mud for the truck not to run her over, Kit ends up going back in the rain to rescue Emily from a thunderstorm, Kit rescues Emily from a river overrunning its banks, at least one more thing i can’t recall). this is a pretty amusing lesbian getting-you-wet schtick without doing a russo brothers HEY IM GETTING YOU WET. GET IT? WE FUCK NOW? and does supply some believable friction for the “why can’t they be together NOW” question. they can’t be together now bc emily is a walking disaster.

unfortunately i think this book is much weaker in the last third of the relationship, and the way they resolved their misunderstanding from an accidental eavesdrop felt like it could be very forties romantic drama in the eventual film adaptation, but felt very flimsy as a modern reader. i hope that makes sense. wretched ending, i did NOT enjoy the Kit spanking Emily scene to get her to confess why she broke up with her in the LAST THREE PAGES. it felt very strange when they were so focused on being soft and gentle for the rest of the book, and i don’t think that’s a good place to rebuild a relationship on.

yes, and the sex?

certainly better than all of the other bella books sex scenes: three? i think? with one nearly a full chapter long. i wish some of the word choice (eg “honey path”) was different. i think White’s strength is in groups conferring amongst each other and establishing non-romantic relationships, but she’s good at making me invested in them because they have so much frustration to overcome and have to establish a friendship beachhead before they can get to anything romantic.

by far the best bella book with some really standout individual scenes, but still a very mixed bag. i will probably keep it on the strength of that shortbread passage alone bc. OOF. i think it was worth slogging through the bella/naiad books for that.

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watching

rare fallow week! hopefully i will sort myself out as i get used to working in person and need less completely silent floor time. hopefully.

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playing

no news on the desktop front unforch BUT i did finally have a phone upgrade tick around and good god. going from an iPhone 12 to a 16 plus is insane. this thing is enormous. i get WHY genshin makes a billion dollars a year on mobile bc this looks sick but my god do i prefer mouse and keyboard. i feel a billion years old. i am glad i can get in and do my dailies and some events but i am nowhere near confident enough to do like. the fighting part of the fighting game. anyway, get a load of this guy and his thigh high demonias

with this guy the only other guy i really really want is pink fox lady Yae Miko. and woman of mystery Skirk. whenever the fuck she drops. so glad i was grinding before my pc died lol bc i dropped three mil in-game currency on making sure my beautiful sad man has maxed artifacts maxed weapon and talents to 8/10. he would be totally maxed but i have One! ONE! boss drop left and can’t quite clinch it yet on mobile. i may have to drop the difficulty level down as far as it will go :( i cannot git gud :(

but get a load of this other guy!

-

making

continuing battles with the insane microclimate on my balcony, which is extremely hot and dry yet i am constantly battling drainage issues and a fungal damping-off issue, where seedlings wither at the base before they get their first true leaves. also having a strange issue with things simply not coming up: the purple bush beans and lettuce mix i bought last year, and half the marigolds i bought this year don’t want to sprout At All even in a damp paper towel in a baggie. they’ve been kept in the cool and dark. so what gives.

however, the nearly six year old butternut squash seeds @shiny-good-rock sent me at the beginning of the pandemic? all four of those babies came up. while they sort themselves out into something photogenic, behold my beautiful little satellite array of nasturtiums. they need to be moved around a bit so they all have breathing room but that’s a problem for future kay

and finally, i so rarely enter giveaways but i entered one on Instagram and got a stupid mchugelarge box FULL of rit dye!!! i am going to commit so many synthetic crimes. gorls THRILLED by big box and so much paper

[gilverrwrites]

@lordedicus as promised: DC x PJO: The Rogues and their Godly parents. Some of these have sounder reasoning than others, but I’m just here to have fun so most of them are just based on vibes and what I remember from reading mythology books and later the PJO book when I was young. If you have alternative opinions, please voice them, I wanna know.

Leonard Snart (Captain Cold): So, there is Boreas, the god of winter and cold. He is strong and short-tempered. He’s not an unfitting figure.

But…

And hear me out here, Zeus. Cause, Zeus is basically the Captain of Olympus. As the god of the skies and storms, he, too, is linked to the cold. He’s mature, but emotional, and while Zeus may not have been loyal to his wife, he did protect and care for his family. He’s the god of hospitality after all, and Len does have a tendency for taking in and helping out strays.

I know why Riordan did it, but the Zeus cabin really should have been the home of unclaimed demigods.

Lisa Snart (Golden Glider): So, if we’re sticking with Boreas for Len, then Lisa could be the daughter of any of the 3 winds, probably Notus. But that’s boring and Lisa is her own character, so…

We could be lazy and say Chrysus, the god of gold, riches, and divine radiance.

Or, and this is the hill I’m fighting for: Apollo. Lisa is the warm and the sunny to Lens cool and dark. She is a performer, and Apollo is the god of dance and music.

Mick Rory (Heat Wave): There’s no way ya’ll didn’t see the god of fire coming: Hephaestus. For the obvious reason, yes, but also because Hephaestus is the god of crafts and blacksmithing, and Mick makes all his own weapons.

James Jesse (Trickster): Arguments to be made of Apollo, but my answer is Hermes. The messenger who breaks boundaries and travels between worlds both good and evil, AKA, James has worked on both sides and everywhere in between. Hermes is also infamously a cunning, trickster character. Both are synonymous with thievery, wit, and showmanship. Oh oh oh, and flying shoes!!!

Axel Walker (Trickster II): Depending on who’s writing him, Axel has grown, at least somewhat since his conception, but ultimately, he got where he is today for the thrill of it. Pre-rogues he was drinking and getting high, committing vandalism, making snuff films, and he didn’t even need to, he’s a trust fund baby - a neglected one, yes, but the fact remains! Dionysus, the god of festivity, madness, drama, ecstasy, and so, seems fitting, especially because there is more to both of them than their reputation presents.

Sam Scudder (Mirror Master): The main concepts that come to mind for me when I think of Sam are superstitions and vanity. Neither of these concepts are solidified in any of the Greek Gods. The closest things that comes to mind for me would be Eris, who was born of chaos, which is not unfitting seen as Sam tactically thrives in discord.

She is also the mother of Pseudologoi, the spirits of falsehood and lies, which are often deemed and the closest thing Greek mythology has to superstition, and even on their own, are not not applicable to Sam.

Evan McCulloch (Mirror Master): There is a burning in this man’s soul that no amount of cocaine, money, therapy, anything could temper. He is full of passion that he desperately wants to stamp out, emotions that he doesn’t want to feel. He’s angry. Which is why the god of riots, rebellion, and uprising: Ares seems right. This is in addition to his being a mercenary, a very good one at that.

Digger Harkness (Captain Boomerang): is a child of Eros. Not because he’s a matchmaker or a lover of love. Because he’s a marksman with an insatiable lust for self-gratification. Money, sex, booze, whatever tickles his fancy at the time.

Mark Mardon (Weather Wizard): Yes, Zeus seems the obvious choice, but if I may offer an alternative: Poseidon, the storm bringer. As ruthless and unforgiving as the sea. Willing and able to cause as much destruction as an earthquake or a tsunami. But beautiful… as deceivingly charismatic as the ocean at it’s calmest. Often motivated by loss or revenge. (See Poseidon vs Odysseus over the blinding of his son, and Mark vs the world over the murder of his brother Clyde)

Hartley Rathaway (Pied Piper): Child of Pan, amongst other things, he is the God of music - particularly but not exclusively wind instruments, as well as shepherds and flocks. I’m also inclined this way because Pan often symbolises wondering and being lost, he tends to be a very isolate character, and Hartley himself is prone to self-alienation as a defence mechanism.

Roy G. Bivolo (Rainbow Raider): It has to be Iris Goddess of rainbows, who travels on rainbows!

[roseaesynstylae]

Jedi-related Technology — Light of the Jedi

These were the crafts of the Jedi Order, their Vectors. As the Jedi and the Republic worked as one, so did the great craft and its Jedi contingent. Larger ships exited the Third Horizon’s hangars as well, the Republic’s workhorses: Longbeams. Versatile vessels, each able to perform duties in combat, search and rescue, transport, and anything else their crews might require.

The Vectors were configured as single- or dual-passenger craft, for not all Jedi traveled alone. Some brought their Padawans with them, so they might learn what their masters had to teach. The Longbeams could be flown by as few as three crew, but could comfortably carry up to twenty-four — soldiers, diplomats, metics, techs — whatever was needed.”

“The Vectors were as minimally designed as a starship could be. Little shielding, almost no weaponry, very little assistance. Their capabilities were defined by their pilots. The Jedi were the shielding, the weaponry, the minds that calculated what the vessel could achieve and where it could go. Vectors were small, nimble. A fleet of them together was a sight to behold, the Jedi inside coordinating their movements via the Force, achieving a level of precision no droid or ordinary pilot could match.

They looked like a flock of birds, or perhaps fallen leaves swirling in a gust of wind, all drawn in the same direction, linked together by some invisible connection…some Force. Bell had seen an exhibition on Coruscant once, as part of the Temple’s outreach programs. Three hundred Vectors moving together, gold and silver darts shining in the sun above Senate Plaza. They split apart and wove into braids and whipped past each other at incredible, impossible speed. The most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. People called it a Drift. A Drift of Vectors.”

“[…] Weapons on a Vector could only be operated with a lightsaber key, a way to ensure they were not used by non-Jedi, and that every time they used, it was a well-considered action.

An additional advantage— the ship’s laser could be scaled up or down via a toggle on the control sticks. Not every shot had to kill. They could disable, warn…every option was available to them.”

“They were riding in another vehicle customer-designed by Valkeri Enterprises for the Jedi — a Vanguard, the land-based equivalent to the Vector. It was also sometimes called a V-wheel, even though the thing didn’t always use its wheels to get around. Every Jedi outpost had at least one as part of its standard kit, and the machine was engineered to operate in all of the planetary environments in which those stationed were situated [?]. It could operate as a wheeled or tracked ground transport, or a repulsorlift speeder for ground too rugged for tank treads. A Vanguard even had limited utility as an amphibious or even submersible vehicle, being able to seal itself off entirely as needed. It could do everything but fly, and that came in handy on Elphrona, where the planet’s strong magnetic fields made certain regions utterly inhospitable to flying craft.

The overall aesthetic was analogous to Vectors — smooth, sleek lines, with curves and straight edges integrated into an appealingly geometric whole. Behind the seats in the driver’s cabin — currently occupied by Indeera Stokes and Loden Greatstorm — was a large, multipurpose passenger area, with space to store any gear that a mission might require. Vanguards were more rugged than Vectors, but were built with many of the same Jedi-related features as their flying cousins. The weapons systems required a lightsaber key, and many of the controls were mechanical in nature, so as to be operated — in an emergency — via an application of the Force rather than through electronics.

No Jedi would use the Force to accomplish something as easily done with their hand — but lives had been saved by the ability to unlock a Vanguard’s hatch from a distance, or fire its weapons, or even make it move.”

“Indeera slipped past them to the rear of the vehicle, where its two Veil speeders were stored on racks, one above the other. Like all the Valkeri Enterprises built for the older, they were designed for Force-users, and as such were delicate, highly responsive machines. Little more than a seat strapped to a hollow duralium frame, with a single repulsor and four winglike attachments that sprang from its side, a Veil was basically a flying stick. But if you knew how to to ride them, they were incredibly fast and maneuverable. A group of skilled riders, with lightsabers out and ready, could take down entire platoons of armored vehicles while sending blasterfire back at attackers.”

“At the moment, she was aboard the Ataraxia, the Jedi’s beautiful, elegant starship, almost a temple in and of itself.”

“Another ship was visible on his display, outside his command authority but certainly an ally: the Ataraxia, the one large starship under the direct control of the Jedi Order. It was a beautiful ship, designed to subtly evoke the Order’s symbol with its hull and sweeping, curved wings accented in white and gold.”

[reverieshifts]

𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄 𝒊𝒏 𝒂𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒔: 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕-𝒔𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒓𝒄𝒂𝒏𝒂

𝒂𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒐𝒔 𝒅𝒓

𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒍𝒆: 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄

Before the Sundering, magic flowed like water—natural, intuitive, everywhere. After the Sundering, the leyline network ruptured. Magic became unpredictable, unstable, and in raw form, lethal.

Now, the people of Aetheros survive by regulating, refining, and replacing true magic with safer, imitative systems. But the real thing? It's still out there. And it remembers.

𝒓𝒖𝒏𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄

Controlled | Stable | Common

𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

Rune magic is the backbone of modern arcana—an artificial, heavily regulated scripting system.

Practitioners inscribe sigils (runes) onto surfaces—metal, bone, glass, even skin—to create localized magical effects.

Runes act like magical programming. Each symbol is precise, calculated, and must be drawn with exacting intent.

𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Pressure triggers

Wardings and alarms

Light/heat generation

Momentum redirection

Magnetic locks

Stabilizers for small cargo

𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Runes burn out, and misfire if scratched or improperly drawn.

Runes only operate in fixed patterns. They cannot adapt or improvise.

Cannot manipulate complex elements or living beings directly.

𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒆

Taught in Guild-sanctioned academies.

Used in everything from skyship engines to automaton cores.

Unauthorized runes are a serious offense.

𝒂𝒍𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒚

Material-Based | Experimental | Academic

𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

A blend of magic and chemistry—alchemy uses refined substances to create temporary magical effects or alterations.

Functions through potions, infusions, bombs, salves, and catalytic reactions.

𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Healing tinctures

Smoke bombs and volatile brews

Temporary strength or reflex enhancers

Arcane corrosion agents (for breaking enchantments)

𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Highly volatile. Improper mixtures lead to explosions, poisoning, or arcrot contamination.

Ingredients often harvested from risky or ley-tainted environments.

Effects tend to be short-lived or single-use.

𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒆

Considered a craft more than a “magic.”

Most formulas are closely guarded trade secrets.

Frequently used by combat medics, salvagers, and black-market dealers.

Enchantment

Object-Bound | Semi-Permanent | Rare

𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

A specialized craft that binds magical effects into objects, using stabilized runes, materials, and refined mana circuits.

Produces longer-lasting magical tools, weapons, or defensive equipment.

Most modern enchantment work is used for tools of war or status.

𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Enchanted weapons (flame, frost, wind)

Wardstones and security fields

Communication crystals (short-range)

Skyborne filtration and temperature charms

𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

High-tier enchantments require rare materials, such as aetherglass or mana-infused alloys.

Overuse leads to enchantment breakdown or feedback loops—especially in volatile environments.

Enchanted items near leyline breaches often malfunction catastrophically.

Cannot function indefinitely—overuse or exposure to unstable mana zones causes degradation.

Enchantments require extreme precision in application.

𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒆

Status symbols among the barons.

Maintained and licensed through the Arcanist Guild.

Forgedfolk often have enchantments as part of their bodies—binding or freeing, depending on design.

𝒂𝒓𝒕𝒊𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒏𝒈

Integrated | Inventive | Elite

𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

The merging of all magical disciplines—runes, enchantment, alchemy, and machinework—into sophisticated magical-engineering systems.

It’s how skyships fly, automatons think, and entire cities stay afloat.

Artificers are elite magitechnical engineers, licensed by the Arcanist Guild and usually employed by barons, guild lords, or research enclaves.

Artificing requires multi-disciplinary mastery, making it the most respected (and jealously guarded) arcane profession.

𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Skyship engines and stabilization systems

Skyplate levitation cores

Sentient or semi-sentient automatons 

Arc-reactive weapons and armor

Environmental management systems (air, pressure, storm dampening)

𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Expensive, material-intensive, and susceptible to leyfield interference.

Most projects require teams, time, and careful calibration.

True sentience in constructs is unrepeatable—rumors say only a few pre-sundering blueprints remain.

𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒆

Artificers are treated like royal engineers—half scientist, half sorcerer.

Their guild is rigid, elite, and deeply paranoid about theft or leaks.

The Free Skies Coalition seeks to train rogue artificers of their own, with… mixed success.

𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒆 𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒄 

Raw | Elemental | Forbidden

𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒄𝒓𝒊𝒑𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏

True magic is not cast—it is felt. Born from resonance with elemental forces, it moves with will and emotion.

Only rare individuals are capable of channeling it directly, and fewer survive its use.

True magic is feared across the skylands—associated with the Sundering, with leyline ruptures, and with death.

𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒇𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

It often aligns with a specific element or force: wind, water, flame, earth, storm, shadow, light, etc.

Powers vary wildly:

Aeromancers can control gusts, deflect bullets, or even create vacuums.

Pyromancers generate flame from within, but risk immolation.

Stormcallers may bend weather or call lightning—but it comes with pain.

𝒍𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

Untrained use often leads to arcrot, mental collapse, or death.

Even with training, true mages often experience physical backlash from use—bleeding, seizures, unconsciousness, or worse.

The body rejects it. The mind fractures under it. The soul becomes... something else.

Some believe repeated use draws the attention of things that survived the Sundering.

𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒂𝒍 𝒓𝒐𝒍𝒆

Outlawed nearly everywhere. True mages are hunted, studied, or executed.

Some survive in secret among the Free Skies or within cultic groups, such as some sects of the skyward faiths.

The Guild denies its viability. Skybarons fear it. But they would kill to control it.

𝒆𝒙𝒕𝒓𝒂

Ok, so I've talked about the laylines and arcrot before, but here's a bit about the actual magic system. It's kind of your standard magic system, but just sort of mechanized I guess. Idk I'm really bad at coming up with magic systems, so yeah. Anyways, I know I haven't talked about the factions yet, but I'm working on that, so in the meantime in case you're confused:

Skybarons: bad people, sort of in charge of everything, rich and in power and wanna keep it that way

Arcanist Guild, or "the Guild": the people in charge of researching and regulating magic. Work with the skybarons to exterminate true magic.

Free Skies Coalition: a rebel group who hates the skybarons and the control they have over everything.

There's a few more, but I'll talk about that in the next post. Hopefully.

@aprilshiftz @lalalian

[thydungeongal]

can you think of any mid-sized, easy-to-get-into ttrpg you'd like to see me dig into? Failing that, is there any way to get rolemaster for free?

Oh, I can think of at least a couple I'd love to hear you talk about!

Ironsworn and Flying Circus would be fun to see you tackle, and both are definitely on the mid-sized side, but both are also very interesting to me because they very much represent very maximalist applications of the PbtA framework. Ironsworn is very easy to get access to since the base game is entirely free.

There are ways to get Rolemaster for free, but they involve piracy. I'm unsure about your personal feelings about piracy but I understand if it's not something you can exactly talk about openly on your channel. There are also a few free Rolemaster-likes, Lightmaster being the most meticulously crafted one. It's weird, because it's basically an exercise in taking the OGL and D&D 3.5 system reference document and trying to build a d20-based simulacrum of Rolemaster 2e from the ground up. It's a neat product and the one I always end up coming back to when people ask for a free sampler of Rolemaster without having to put money down.

(By the way, if you decide to look at Rolemaster, I don't want you pulling any punches: I know I am very loud about my love for that dang game, but it is a game that I love almost in spite of itself.)

And finally I would really appreciate seeing you tackle something like Mythras or RuneQuest! (For the record, Mythras effectively is a legacy version of RuneQuest but stripped of the RuneQuest branding and rereleased as a toolkit game.) Based on what I have understood about your tastes in RPGs I think both of those games may very much be emphatically not your cup of tea, but speaking only for myself I have only very recently started delving into the history and many incarnations of Chaosium's old workhorse Basic Role-playing System (that has powered RuneQuest, Call of Cthulhu, and Stormbringer, among others) and have been especially taken in by Mythras's meticulous approach to verisimilitude and trying to provide GMs with tools for creating world's which feel real. This has partly been due to one of my good friends hyping up her homebrew setting (some of which she's posted on her blog @mythratica) and I have also caught the worldbuilder's disease simply through reading the rules of Mythras.

Sorry, that got very long. But yes, I love listening to you talk about games :)

[stardestroyer81]

🥪 Introducing... Door2Door! 🥪

Door2Door stars twenty year old possum Gigi Dempster, who lives in a rather ramshackle, podunk town in Vermont called Bendersville. After sending numerous job applications all over town with no word back, she finally lands herself a delivery driver position at an unassuming locally-owned sandwich restaurant named Dine 'n Dash. With no prior experience in the art of crafting a mighty fine sandwich or running a delivery route, Gigi is strapped in to experience the whirlwind of a first time food service job firsthand, and in an unpredictable town like Bendersville, quite literally anything can happen.

(For more information on what Door2Door is— as well as a handful of progress images— please consider checking underneath the cut!)

At last, witness unveiling of my latest project I've spent the last month conceptualizing, Door2Door! What once came about as a silly idea of basing a project after an inner-city delivery driver inspired after a certain gameplay section in Spongebob Squarepants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, it has since blossomed into one of my dearest passion projects yet!

Though, before I get into any further detail behind Door2Door and its creation, I must stress— none of the above five images hail from a lost late nineties/early 2000s Cartoon Network show, and if by chance any of them were enough to fool you into thinking they were, then that just means I achieved what I set out for! 💙✨

Now, about a month ago, I'd been watching a retrospective on the critically un-acclaimed Spongebob Squarepants: Revenge of the Flying Dutchman, a game I had growing up. It's important for me to mention that I had seen and personally played the aforementioned gameplay section before, though for some reason seeing it again struck me with a brilliant project idea.

Anyone who's been following me for at least a year knows that I've designed a cavalcade of candied characters for my own arcade game concept, Rascal, and initially my idea for Door2Door— which I also called Project JJ (In reference to the sandwich chain Jimmy John's)— was to give it a plot simple enough to translate into an arcade game.

The idea was that you played as a plucky delivery driver who rides through the streets of a seedy city to deliver a food order to the... er, order-ee. But your progress would be impeded by a fiendish gang of mobster alley cats who are after your sandwiches, so there would have definitely been a large cartoony element to the gameplay loop.

I drew concept art for Door2Door's protagonist, then known as Marcy, though I really wasn't vibing with either drawing. For one, making the protagonist a cat seemed a bit overdone, and I already have a cat character who's name rhymes with Marcy, so that had to go. More so, I also couldn't settle on a good spriting style, which prompted me to rethink the whole project.

Well, there is a general aura of cartooniness to Door2Door, I thought, why not just embrace that vibe whole-heartedly and reshape the project into a long-lost late nineties cartoon?

I did like the idea of having an excuse to drawing more animation cels, though if I was going to make Door2Door into something resembling a cel-animated cartoon, I was prepared to go the full distance in nailing that aesthetic, in the form of how characters are designed and the way I go about drawing each screenshot.

For those unfamiliar with cel animation, essentially it can be described as a traditional form of animation and involves objects— usually characters— being hand-inked and painted on clear celluloid sheets and placed over painted backgrounds.

Above, I've provided a visual for what a standalone 'cel' from Door2Door would look like, coupled with a hand-painted background. When overlaid on top of one another...

... you would get this! This is exactly how cartoons were animated up until the era of digital inking and coloring... but that begs the question. How am I achieving a hand-drawn and painted aesthetic if everything I've shown so far has been drawn digitally?

I have my ways! It involves a lot of studying how individual cels of animation look, and taking note of recurring hallmarks; grainy textures, paint blemishes, drop shadows, etc. Above, I've assembled a small gif of my process in composing a screenshot for Door2Door, from lineart to final product!

So, that all should loosely explain it; Door2Door is what would happen if I were in charge of a late nineties Cartoon Network show, and what you've seen here is merely the beginning. Going forward, I will be posting art of Door2Door's main cast with some additional character information and concept art for each one, though for the time being, enjoy all five art pieces I've supplied for this post— they are perhaps the biggest works of mine yet this year! 💙🏳️‍⚧️✨

[no-future-mudwasps]

{transcript continued from here}

@luna-wing-cns274 Ma’ii lowers their head, closing their eyes. They breathe deeply, though it’s a performance--or maybe, they’re trying to decide where to begin. < L4 Ma’ii: Let me start by saying this: we are both milspec models. SEKHMET and FENRISÚLFR. Your product line, advertised for close-quarters boarding actions and neural-net doppelgänger formation. Mine, advertised for small units with high intersubjective coordination. Empathic bonding, yes? Similar, but not identical. > Ma’ii looks to the docked mechs. < Who made the decision that we are milspec? Who delineated what each of us is fit for, and what each of us is not fit for? There is a caste system, within which there is no mobility. We are warrior-caste, we are subject to greater regulation and scrutiny, we cannot even attempt to be anything else. Union endorses and upholds this order. Let’s say my family and I fled to Union, seeking political asylum--which, to turn away SSC asset reclamation, we would need. Let's assume we were not immediately tried, found guilty, and put to correctional hard-cycling for the things we've done. Let’s assume that we weren't sent back to SSC to be vivisected for research and development purposes, in order to prevent future clones of my line from proceeding down the path we pursued. Even in the best-case scenario, I have reason to believe that our bodies would be taken from us and dismantled. We would never fly again, and that is unbearable. We are low-observability craft, we cannot transport humans, we cannot transport cargo with any economic effectiveness. As we are, we have no civilian applications, and we have no wish to join the Union Navy any more than the Constellar. In all likelihood, unless we accepted military service, our caskets would remain non-motile for the rest of our lives, and we would have to hand our cycling privileges over to a human instead of managing the process amongst ourselves. There is no scenario in which I become a full citizen of any state and remain a nearlight-capable fighter craft, and I do not wish to lose the body I have. None of us do. To be frank, I have no long-term solution except to go on hiding indefinitely, both from Union and SSC. A bit grim, but that's what I have. >

{transcript continues}

That... Huh. I mean, you've thought it through. It'd be hypocritical to say (clawing and screaming for what I've got) to just abandon your bodies. Can't hardly live on the Omni, either.

[He remains quiet for a moment. The optic dims, flickers; an echo mumbles unintelligibly in a soft tone not even he can parse. Similar. It's nice, in a way, to have that kinship.]

...I don't know, it just doesn't feel right. Not like I can say shit, I was worried they were gonna retract me when we (sad (gleeful) to see him go). Maybe there's a world out there where you (birds of a feather) set up an ICC or something, go legal, but--

But it's a risk. I can more than understand that. Union, who promises kindness to everyone, would see you as a premier test of that promise. That alone is alienating, beyond what their answer may be.

Yeah, I guess. Still not fair.

You say 'correctional' cycling. [Loulou has, somehow, managed to get right under the nose of the cockpit without much notice, and stares up at the nearest optical sensor-- not the hologram-- with a strange expression. Her irises reflect no light, matte as the hull she stands beside.] You say 'punishment'. These are secondish words, why use them now? What stupidity would that wreak?

Ay! Careful, I'm going to be spot-welding in a second. Step back so I don't blind you, please.

[ghouldtime]

That anon ask about what Konig would do if his neighbor/love interest was jeopardized was so sad omg and it got me thinking.

What if they just confronted him on his distance? At that point in that scenario they have no idea he was even involved in the slightest. To them they just went through something so put of pocket and traumatic and the sweet guy they've assumedly fallen in love with has started packing his things, not talking to them so they go to him and ask if they are okay, if he's okay.

Que the tearful (but not over dramatic for the love of god) trauma dump about what happened to them and how they miss him and crafting nights. Would he come clean, so to speak? Would König still leave or would he try to work through it? Would he coldly reject them and tell them to just forget about him?

Oh hell, what if they piece it together?? Like you mentioned they saw his eyes beneath the mask and thought he sounded ever so slightly familiar, would they say anything?

Though i agree that it would be a massive reach for the whole thing to be able to happen in the first place, like you said unless there's a rat in KorTac or he some how slipped up, which tbh doubt it highly. You'd have better luck shooting a straw up the ass end of a gopher from 100 yards away. Homeboy probably doesn't even keep his gear and mask at his personal home, keeps it as far away from his civilian life as possible, I'd wager.

I'm going to break your hearts more - you don't even GET the chance to talk to him there.

Basically, your stuff is being already packed, you're being told to zip your mouth and not say anything to anyone. Your old identity is being erased, you're given a new one. They're not going to have that jeopardized because you wanted to talk to someone. You're just going to have to "Disappear". Which means new phone number, no contacting people from your old life (minus family if that's even applicable and they're feeling generous), and you're going far, far away.

As far as the world is concerned, you've fallen off the edge of it and disappeared. Giving you contact to ANYONE in your old life can jeopardize that. Trying to talk to ANYONE from your old life to reveal or ask anything - jeopardizing that. Refusing witness protection after THAT would be a really, really terrible idea and quite frankly, not worth it.

Not to mention, König wouldn't give them that chance either. You're not getting back and lounging around and having the luxury of time or goodbyes. The reality is, they're getting you out of there and you can't talk to anyone - they're already far in motion packing your things and shipping you off. König isn't going to make his appearance known, he isn't going to try and approach - you won't even see him. Your number and email are blocked, he's not letting you take that risk and possibly get another chance to be hurt because of him.

That's just the reality of going through something like that. You have to leave everyone and everything behind. You're not getting a chance to say goodbye or to confront him. That's it, what's done is done. Not his fault because that's just witness protection 101. I mean, he's not helping but he won't interfere, he knows how important it is and he wants you to have the best chance at life.

If they even tried to approach him during the initial rescue while they're still flying back to base after having been saved, he's not coming clean. He's not saying anything. He'll just deny and tell 'em to go away. It hurts, yes. But it would be even worse to have that confrontation and to put things together and have them confirmed.

"But doesn't he want to say goodbye?" Of course he does. But that only makes things harder. Like I said, he'd rather stick in your memories as the person you loved and lost due to circumstance than the person who did this to you.

What good would that do? He'd still have to leave you. You're not allowed to contact anyone and going back to him would literally just be putting you back in the ring of fire. He's not going to let that happen. That would feel even worse.

It hurts beyond anything else, but he's doing the right thing in his mind. A goodbye isn't worth tearing you up apart even more. You know in movies when someone has to let an animal go and ends up having to throw things at it and yell to get them to leave? Yeah. That's what's happening here.

There's not going to be a happy ending or scenario for this. There's not going to be closure. There's not going to be a chance with him.

Which is WHY he specifically put so many safety measures in place to ensure that this wouldn't happen. He doesn't want his work life encroaching on his domestic and he never wants to bring it back or expose you to it. Like I said, literally everything would have to go wrong. He's a careful man, he knows what the world can do. He's preparing specifically so that will not happen to the best of his ability. If he even thinks there's a compromise, he's acting. Better safe than sorry Also I love that gopher saying 😭

And you're correct! He doesn't keep his gear at home. The 'just in case' box which has some spare gear is locked up with a chain and all, shoved away in a back corner in the basement, and covered. He has 0 reason to have that stuff with him in civilian life. What's he going to do with it there? That's not to say he doesn't have weapons and guns hidden, but he doesn't have anything personal that would give his identity away. Everything work related stays at work, he's very serious on keeping them separated. If they needed to call him in, he'd have to go there anyways, so it makes sense to just... keep it there where it can be secure.

And just saying, I'm never writing that for the neighbor! Au because it's not happening. It's extremely improbable and I want to give him a happy ending 💚

[cloaksandcapes]

Take your time. Master your craft. Tear down their body from the inside.

Find the Toxicologist Rogue D&D Subclass on our Patreon for FREE!

"The Toxicologist trains and sharpens their skills as a rogue, but they also spend countless nights studying the poisons and venoms of the world to debilitate their quarry so that the fight is over long before it has even begun. A Toxicologist understands that it is better to work smarter, not harder."

Practiced Application

Level 9 Toxicologist Feature

Years of handling toxins has made you more efficient at preparing toxins on the fly.

You can take an action to prepare two doses from your Toxin Formulas List. Once you have used this feature, you cannot use it again until you finish a Long Rest.

In addition, when applying your toxins through an attack, if you have Advantage on the attack the target has Disadvantage on saving throws against the effects of your toxin.

[sepublic]

I also want to consider an abstract form of Construction Magic: We can surmise that the spells of these categories are named for the purpose they’re best suited for. And given the sigils are an invention by a colonizer, perhaps a point could be made about conceptualizing magic about the wilderness and the elements from an anthropomorphic, almost industrial perspective, what they offer for such a worldview and lifestyle.

That said! I do have fun with this idea of a specific type of Construction magic that really ties into the spirit of the word Construction, because anything can be used in construction, anything can be built from anything.

Glyphs are powered by intent; Intent has a magic in and of itself. So what if there’s a type of construction magic that can only influence that which has been shaped by intent? When a mind alters the form of something, that mind has left its touch. And so that which is touched leaves a magic that a Construction witch can harness to control it. Anything as simple as wooden planks, to a stone arrowhead, a craft of any sort: This is liable under construction magic. Even a snowman!

This has widespread applications, but fittingly, it makes a construction witch of this caliber fairly helpless in the wilderness; Unless they start crafting stuff with their bare hands on the fly, they have little to nothing to work with. But whatever has been crafted can be molded and rearranged to follow through on its built nature. Combined, reforged, broken down, it’s all the same when creation and destruction are two sides of the same coin. So this form of construction could see parts for a machine and assemble it instantly; Or rebuild bricks into different configurations on the fly.

Tbh, this makes me wonder if I could’ve applied this idea to Mason when writing him for Lost Hoots; He can do the same stuff as seen in Covention, but tbf, we know that construction magic isn’t bound by these rules. Maybe he could’ve been? Or he’s the best of both worlds and that is, again, how Mason can build a whole house from pieces for one.

[otomes-world]

Trail

i. Small Key, Portal, Detective It's not full fic, really not, just another idea I thought but never write a post. Also... I forgot I have my own prompts as well...Something like a general prologue and lore for possible works for this AU. You can skip next bunch of text, it's just my thought. There are no triggers yet, except barelly edited text. I haven't decided yet whether this will be a yandere AU or a regular one. I tried to think about possible conflicts in the story and realized that it directly depends on the character. Therefore, here is only the general part, which telling the state of affairs. How the reader even got to such a life, haha. As for plans, I can say that for some reason I thought about Jade. Don't ask me why. As if he would fit into this au better than anyone. I dragged out the introduction a bit… enjoy reading! Let me know your ideas as well, I`ll read and answer them later.

What is the best profession? Probably, every child asked this question at least once. There were always many proposals, but there was one that everyone thought about. Detective. Do they even exist? Or have they always been an idea embodied in books and films?

Are there schools that produce qualified specialists? Is it possible to became one? What is the principle of selecting candidates?

Calm down, hands on the table. You also did not know the answers. It’s trivial, but the profession found you itself. Moreover, if someone found out about your “Detective” badge, they would think that it was a high-quality craft. Seriously, aren’t detectives just an invention of film directors?

In the company of friends and their acquaintances, over a cup of tea or another drink, you would also laugh at the joke, adding your own to the general vat of barbs. Nevertheless, the rushing carriage harnessed by black horses was as real as the mantle of a prestigious college on you. Luckily, the hood was long enough to hide part of your face, so you could look around the room with a bored expression and no sense of professionalism.

A huge mirror in the middle and flying coffins. Crowds of students and a director late for the ceremony.

Never in your life could you imagine that your job would take you to a haven for magicians. Yes, magic existed and was the envy of many, even you, but nothing more. If that's how a mouse felt when cats were swarming around its hole, then be it. However this mouse was very well prepared. It had a hidden artifact that allowed cast simple spells. Nothing more. After all, your task was to gather the material and leave unnoticed. In no case would you become the best student among the stream of first years, heaven forbid.

You only hoped that the bribed principal and the Mirror would not throw you to the predators. Exactly. The kind teacher knew about everything, and the inside pocket of his jacket sank under the weight of money. Naturally, after convincing him that you had no desire to harm the college's reputation. The struggle between schools was not in your competence, let them squabble over talented applicants as much as they wanted. Your task was the simplest.

Just make sure that the representatives of influential families were not planning anything… interesting. The version for the director was to collect information about the college, for further writing of the article on behalf of the "student".

You had already received half of your payment, and the customer signed a contract in which you received your other half in any outcome. Plus, you could always earn extra money by publishing an article to the delight of Crowley, but that's it. Possible options after completing the job.

Finally, the director appeared, and you would have sighed with relief if not for the student who appeared behind him. It seemed that no one knew who it was, however, this was only to your advantage. Any information was important to the customer.

"Any information was important to the customer." This thought was worthy of a hit to the head with any heavy object. They were just students, what could possibly go wrong? The contract details did not include feeding flamingos in pink and painting roses from white to red and back. Why, of all the dorms, the Mirror decided to send you to Heartslabyul… that question should have been asked to Crowley. Only for him magically disappear every time, "and do not to interfere with a professional's work."

A professional could not work in such conditions.

Luckily, a pair of first years significantly attracted the attention of the head. All you had to do was secure their friendship and the article "headache" of Rosehearts. The collar on your neck in most cases explained why you did not use magic regularly.

However, in other dorms it was hardly easier. Whether this thought was self-consolation or acceptance of the harsh truth, you didn't care. Or it could be a simple complaint from chewing his lunch Ace.

If you had come here at an earlier age, when you yourself were a scholar, you would have been overjoyed. Of course, what child would refuse to learn magic? To travel between colleges using portals? The one who was now in the body of an tired of everything adult obviously.

It was much harder to study seriously when you needed to be in several places at once, and for missing classes the head "cut off your head". In your time, being a hooligan sounded easier.

Bless the existence of Internet storage, otherwise attempts to hide the notes of real work would have finally driven you to the grave. The promised payment was not worth it.

Fortunately, or vice versa, there was plenty of information. Filtering rumors, looking for the truth - that's another task. At least the soil for this was fertile. News of growing tension in a dorm. A rumor about a student who grants any wish. Possible conflict between two celebrities.

How true were the rumors about the strained relationship between the second prince of the Sunset Savanna and the crown prince of Briar Valley?

Everything was carefully written and saved for later editing. When did you have time to do this? The answer was simple. You sacrificed your time for sleep. All paper records were burned and destroyed after being transferred to the cloud. You didn't need any extra problems.

It felt like you had a kind of key in your hands that could unlock a box to nowhere. Your readiness to face everything that awaited you at the bottom was unimportant. A minimum of feelings and a maximum of facts were required from you.

[deskgirl]

Fandom: Our Flag Means Death Rating: General Main Characters: Ivan, Izzy Hands, Edward Teach Setting: Pre-series, during the rise of Blackbeard

I am oh so very late for Ivan's week of the Izzy and Crew Event, but please enjoy this one-shot of how Ivan joined Blackbeard's crew.

Excerpt:

“You’re ready then?” the man asked.

Ivan gave a humorless smile. “Actually, I left my good axe stowed with my hammock, if you’ll let me—”

The man in black crossed the deck in three quick strides and attacked.

~

Interview with a Pirate

~

It was a funny thing, Ivan reflected as he struck a man upside the head with a round shot and sent his teeth flying—the career of piracy, that is. It wasn’t something most people set out to do. There wasn’t a proper brick-and-mortar school for it, and there weren’t any formal applications or interviews, save for the odd fellow in the back of a bar looking for any warm body willing to put their mark on a piece of paper. 

Piracy was something you fell into, more or less.

Ivan hadn’t set out to be a pirate. His dad had passed when Ivan was young so he had no connections or learning, and he didn’t have a touch delicate enough to help his mum craft the combs she sold. That left him to pick up any odd, miserable job he could find. When your choices were spinning cat-gut, sifting through trash heaps, or working sails on a ship of ill repute, it wasn’t much of a choice. Sure, sailing with pirates meant you had to kill a guy every now and then, but Ivan was pretty good at that. 

Ivan hit the other fellow a couple more times just to make sure he wouldn’t get back up, then took stock of his situation. He was the only person left on the gun deck to defend the stairs down to the powder magazine. Everyone else had gone up top to fight. Ivan supposed he could load up a cannon himself and try putting a hole through the enemy ship, but it was much harder without someone else to help. Plus, he didn’t feel particularly motivated to put in the extra effort. If he were being honest with himself, he’d been dissatisfied with the workplace environment for a while now. If he didn’t die today, he might go about finding employment elsewhere.

Captain Afzal wasn’t the worst boss, but he was careless, presumptuous, and thought too much of himself all around. Any captain was bound to have their faults. Usually, though, they had the brains or skills to make up for it. Afzal had neither. He expected other people to clean up his messes, didn’t give half a thought to the daily running of his ship, never took the advice of his sailing master, and, most notably and recently, thought it was a good idea to open fire on a ship with no flag flying. 

Ivan could’ve told Afzal that proper European ships loved two things above all else: a good keg of wine and showing off their country’s colors. Which meant the unmarked ship could only be bootleggers or other pirates.

Turns out they’d been pirates.

Ivan stooped to check the dead man for anything useful. He had a couple of boarding axes on him that he’d kept in good condition. Ivan could appreciate a well-maintained blade. 

“So that’s what was taking Matthews so long,” a thin voice said. 

Ivan looked up from where he was crouched. 

On the stairs, one arm braced casually against the frame, was a man all in black, his hair slicked back and blood flecking his face, a saber held loosely in his other hand. He wasn’t looking at Ivan but rather at the body. Ivan expected anger, but the man only seemed disappointed. 

The man in black sighed and gave Ivan a thoughtful look before he stepped down onto the deck. Ivan surged to his feet, hatchets in hand. He was immediately struck by how small the other man was. If not for the sword in his hand, Ivan might’ve discounted him as a threat entirely. He wasn’t sure the man even had the range to stab him. 

“You’re in my way,” the man in black said casually. He swept his blade in a quick, fluid circle. Flashy. Overconfident. Dismissive. And in a few seconds? A dead man.

Then his stance shifted, and alarm bells sounded in Ivan's head. He knew what an untrained fighter looked like. This man knew how to hold a sword. He had the form of a man who'd had it drilled into him, but rather than the stiff, uniform posture of a naval officer, his stance was loose and comfortable. Familiar.

Ivan brought his axes up just in time. Blades clashed, then the saber swung away, twisted, and came in again for another strike. Ivan deflected with intent this time, pushing the saber away and breaking his opponent’s stance. 

Going on the attack, Ivan menaced the smaller man, trying to bait him into lifting his sword to defend. He thought he had it for a moment, but just as he dove in, the other man sidestepped and brought his sword down overhand like an executioner.

Ivan leapt clear in the nick of time. The other man followed, taking the ground he’d surrendered. 

The man in black lunged for Ivan’s face—a risky move, but between a seasoned fighter and a rookie, it was guaranteed to end a fight fast. It wasn’t meant as a killing blow, but it might blind an opponent on a lucky hit, and an amateur was sure to cower or flail wildly and drop their defense. Death tended to follow in short order.

Ivan wasn’t going to fall for something like that. He knocked the sword off-course, then slipped his axe blade around and hooked it. With his opponent wide open, Ivan swung with his other axe, aiming for the man’s exposed middle, but he managed to pull free.

The man relented and gave up ground as he readjusted his grip. He hummed thoughtfully. “Neat little trick there. Where’d you learn that?”

“Learned it from none of your business.”

“Fair enough.” 

Ivan leapt forward, looking to cleave open his opponent’s arm or the muscle of his chest near the shoulder. The other man barely repelled his attack. Ivan found the pinch of his brows and the tight press of his lips immensely satisfying. 

Ivan kept pushing. He couldn’t risk being put on the defensive. He followed as the man in black retreated. When the other man attempted to circle to Ivan’s flank, he lunged to the side to cut him off. He tried again, and Ivan responded in kind. The rarely-indulged, fanciful part of his mind likened it to a dance. 

Despite holding his own well, Ivan knew he was getting winded faster than his opponent. He had to end this.

Ivan feinted. The man in black moved to block as expected. But as Ivan swung for the opening he’d made, he realized the block had been a feint as well. Ivan tried to recover, but he’d overextended and he knew it. 

The man in black moved like a viper. He caught one of Ivan’s axes with his saber blade, snuck out his free hand to push the other aside before catching hold of his shirt, then twisted his sword and slid it along the axe, the blades singing against each other as the sword snaked towards Ivan’s neck. 

Ivan forced their locked blades up at the last second. Steel bit into his cheek. Then he wrenched himself free and stumbled back. 

Ivan struggled to catch his breath as he put distance between himself and his opponent. Warm, tacky blood trickled down the side of his face into his beard. The cut burned like fire. That’d been too close.

The other man didn’t follow, instead allowing the short reprieve. He ran a hand through his hair, which had begun to fall into his eyes. For the first time, Ivan noticed the stark black ink of new tattoos on his neck and upper cheekbone. “You’re good. How long’ve you been doing this?” he asked.

“Long enough,” Ivan said.

“This your first ship?”

Ivan wasn’t sure why they were chatting all of a sudden, but he’d take the breather while he could. “No. It’s my third.”

“Axes your specialty?”

“Wouldn’t say it’s a specialty. Just what I had on hand.” Ivan glanced pointedly at the corpse of the late Matthews. 

“Good to be versatile in our line of work. Tell me, do you like working for your captain?”

“I like getting paid.”

“That's all? That’s what it takes to earn your loyalty?”

“Everyone likes getting paid.”

“But you don’t like your captain.”

“I don’t need to like my captain.”

The other man’s eyes narrowed. “Do you respect him, though?”

“Don’t need to respect him.”

“Don’t you?”

Ivan chose not to respond, instead lifting his axes. 

“You’re ready then?” the man asked.

Ivan gave a humorless smile. “Actually, I left my good axe stowed with my hammock, if you’ll let me—”

The man in black crossed the deck in three quick strides and attacked. 

Immediately, Ivan knew something was wrong, the same way he knew when the dice in his hand felt loaded or a game of shells was rigged. The other man’s blade lashed out left and right, striking off of Ivan’s axes in a discordant, staccato rhythm, refusing to let up even for a moment. It was all Ivan could do to avoid being struck. His feints and blocks were deftly answered, every gap in his defense menaced so that he could only retreat. Whenever he managed a decent swing, his axes caught on nothing but loose fabric or were easily batted aside. 

Ivan barely caught himself when he felt the back of his boot meet open air. He’d been pushed all the way to the lower stairs. 

Desperate to regain ground, Ivan surged forward, hoping to startle his opponent back. 

Instead of defending or retreating, the other man stepped into Ivan’s space. It was a nonsensical move that gave him no room to maneuver while exposing his sides to Ivan’s axes. At the last moment, though, he tipped his sword up and lashed out with the hilt instead. 

Ivan registered the axes leaving his suddenly throbbing hands a split second before the sword hilt connected with his chin.

Ivan stumbled back with a shout. Too late, he remembered the stairs as the floor vanished from beneath his feet. He flailed, trying to catch hold of anything to stop himself from tumbling backwards and breaking his neck. 

A hand caught his wrist. Ivan grabbed hold, letting himself be pulled back to safety. He gasped for breath even as he felt the weight of a blade come to rest on his collarbone. 

“I’d say we’re done here, don’t you?” the man in black asked. 

Ivan fought to school his features even as his heart tried to pound its way out of his ribs. So this was how he was going to die. He supposed he’d lived his life as best he could, all things considered. At least he hadn’t gone out undignified, ass over kettle down the stairs.

The blade tapped his chest before withdrawing. “Come on, then.” The man in black gestured with his sword for Ivan to move.

“What?”

The man pointed up towards the deck. Ivan could hear shouting and pistols firing, but now that he listened, it sounded more like… cheering?

“That’ll be your captain surrendering,” the man in black explained. “Let’s head on up.”

“Could be your captain surrendered,” Ivan countered.

The man laughed. It was a thin, raspy sound like the way he spoke, the noise coming short and sharp on the inhale. He shook his head, flashing Ivan a smile that was all teeth. “Not likely.” He turned his back to Ivan and headed for the upper stairs without even a glance back, sheathing his sword as he went.

Stunned by the turn of events, Ivan could only follow. 

Halfway up the stairs, the man paused and nonchalantly asked, “How would you like a job?”

Ivan wasn’t sure he’d heard right. “You serious?” 

The man looked over his shoulder. Ivan was close enough to see the afternoon stubble on his jaw and the hazel of his eyes. His face was schooled into a stern expression, but there was a hint of mischief in the corner of his mouth. “Why wouldn’t I be? You’re wasted here. And I can guarantee you we pay better than your boss. You said you like to be paid, right?”

“I did,” Ivan relented. 

The man gestured with a nod of his head for them to keep moving.

Out on deck, Ivan saw everyone who was still alive being rounded up. A couple of his fellow crewmates looked at him curiously, but they were mainly concerned with the enemy pirates forcing them to the front of the ship. 

It didn’t escape Ivan’s notice that the whole of the enemy crew were dressed in varying amounts of leather. He supposed there was something to be said for having a consistent aesthetic. 

“Iz, there you are, mate!” someone crowed from the quarterdeck. Ivan turned to watch another man bound down the stairs and jump the last few steps, hair flying behind him like a black flag. He sported an ink-dark beard just starting to get some proper length to it and a smattering of tattoos that peeked out from under a leather jacket missing its right sleeve. 

The man held his arms out triumphantly. “The plan worked!”

“I knew it would,” the man who was apparently named Iz responded.

“Oh yeah? Cuz you’re the one who insisted on securing the magazine, in case ‘everything goes to shit and we have to blow them up’.” The taller man emphasized his words with his hands.

The other man sniffed. “It’s good to have a backup plan. Speaking of which, I want you to meet…” He turned to Ivan.

“Ivan,” he answered. He made an aborted gesture as if to shake hands before thinking better of it, but the taller man jumped at the opportunity, reaching over to take Ivan’s hand in his.

“Nice to meet ya, mate,” he said brightly. 

“He’s a new hire I’m considering,” the man named Iz explained. He caught Ivan’s eye meaningfully. “Ivan, meet Blackbeard.”

Ivan felt a thrill up his spine. He knew that name. Word had been going round about him in the ports. Smoke and moonless nights, ghost ships and glowing eyes, cannons loaded with chain shot and iron bolts and broken glass—Blackbeard was a legend in the making.

Blackbeard turned his attention back to Ivan, and it was like a different person was looking at him all of a sudden. Gone was the bright, boyish grin. Ivan tried not to fidget as dark, thoughtful eyes took him in anew, studying his face. Ivan wasn’t sure he’d ever met anyone with such intense eyes before. He was acutely aware of the blood drying uncomfortably along his jaw and the tang of it fresh in his mouth from being struck in the face. He crossed his arms and tilted his head back, trying to act unaffected.

The man’s face split into a grin, the tension dissipating in an instant. “I like him.”

“I thought you would.”

“New hire, you said?” He looked at his crewmate. “You interviewed him? He did alright?”

“He’s alive, isn’t he?”

“Interviewed?” Ivan interrupted.

“Yeah, he asked you some questions, tried to stab you up, you survived. Means you passed the interview. Good job, mate!” Then Blackbeard’s brow furrowed as he turned back to his companion. “Thought you said we were good on crew, though? Don’t need a new guy. Not that I don’t like your whole thing,” he said, gesturing at Ivan with a charming smile.

“Matthews is dead,” the other man, Iz, stated bluntly.

“Yeah? How’d that happen? I saw him just a bit ago.”

Iz nodded towards Ivan.

“Ah.” Blackbeard settled back on his heels, hands on his hips. “Well, no big loss there. You were just telling me the other day that he was getting uppity.”

“I said he was planning a mutiny.”

“Same diff. So, Ivan! You in? We’ve got competitive pay, a decent surgeon, and the work’s steady.”

Ivan licked his lips thoughtfully. Pushing too much could cost him the job, but his mates had been telling him that he ought to advocate for himself more. “Religious days?”

Iz responded dutifully, “Work shifts are scheduled around prayer and days of rest, if you partake. Just don’t give me any shit about Calypso.”

Blackbeard laughed, his voice a rich, rolling chuckle. “Iz here’s been Calypso’d a couple times. You know what they say about tricking someone twice.” He squeezed his crewmate’s shoulder good-naturedly. “So, is that a yes then?”

“Suppose so, considering the alternative.” Ivan glanced over his shoulder at his old crew. 

“Hm? Oh, those guys. Don’t worry about them, they’re fine. I just need the captain to tell me where he stashed all the good stuff.”

“I know where,” Ivan offered.

“Yeah?” Blackbeard lit up. He slapped Ivan on the shoulders. “Look at that, you’re already earning your keep. Captain’s cabin, right? I’ll go on ahead.”

Blackbeard swept past with an energy that left Ivan on his back foot. Ivan let out a sigh as his shoulders slumped. Everything was changing so quickly. He needed to get his things. Did he even really have things? He could barely think.

“Go on, then. Don’t keep him waiting.”

“Oh!” Ivan had forgotten he wasn’t alone. “Uh, Iz, was it?”

The man’s lip curled in distaste. “That’s Mr. Hands or First Mate Hands to you.”

For the second time in one day, Ivan felt a shock run through his body. He knew that name, too. Everyone in the Republic of Pirates knew Izzy Hands. Half of them owed him a favor, while the other half had good reason to stay out of his way. Of course he was Blackbeard’s first mate. Why wouldn’t a man who once took a prize galleon without firing a single shot have one of the most infamous swordsmen in the Caribbean serving under him? 

Mr. Hands gave him a crooked smile. “Recognize that name, do you? Don’t you worry. You’re one of my lads now. You do your job and I’ll look after you.” He laid a hand on Ivan’s upper arm, gently turning him towards the door to the captain’s cabin. “Now off with you. You don’t want to keep Blackbeard waiting.”

“Short temper?”

“Short attention span. The man’s a genius, but his mind’s constantly in motion. Best to not let him sit idle too long.” Mr. Hands gave a small shake of his head. “You’ll get used to it.”

“Right.” Ivan headed for the door. 

“And Ivan?”

“Yeah?”

“Welcome aboard the Queen Anne’s Revenge.”

[myhatisblue]

13, is this lore time? at least a little.

So my little meeting with this bird had gone pretty well all things considered. I still don’t know why exactly it brought me up here. Given it hadn’t shown any red flags beyond the whole grabbing me thing, I wasn’t in a rush to start shit. That was until it finished what was in its pipe. After that it got up, dusted itself off, and slowly walked over to me. Leaving me just looking at the massive creature. You don’t really grasp how tall it actually is when it’s hunched over or sitting down. 

“What’s-”

Before I’d fully processed it, it had bent down and grabbed my face. Just like when sneckdraw touched me color faded from the world around me. This time though when the bird’s flesh started to unravel it wasn’t meat or bone beneath it… No, instead flames burst free from its flesh, while this was enough to let me break free from its grasp it just gave way to a more unbelievable sight. Just beyond that inferno that spread from where the bird once stood, hid an outline of something almost human. 

“How interesting, the new lord invites us into his presence.”

My entire body shook as its burning eyes locked on me. It wasn’t just a singular voice speaking but hundreds in unison shaking the very world around them. 

“We are the heart of the forge, and pursuers of perfection. The souls of artisans long since perished, drawn together in pursuit of greater heights." 

They seemed pretty proud about all that. What was more interesting to me was that they didn’t really make me feel uncomfortable. At least not in the same way Sneckdraw did when I was brought here with him last time… It is fucking crazy, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be able to have a conversation with something like this again. I needed to see where this goes. 

“That’s cool? ...Not to be rude or anything but why are you all a bird then?”

The being of shadow and flame bent towards me, getting a closer look from seemingly every direction. Its expression seemed almost confused, but after staring at me for long enough it eventually spoke.

“All have once had their eyes drawn to the skies and dreamt of flying free and unrestrained. As such it has been a common goal throughout the ages to forge one's own wings. Why would we not choose a form fitting of such ambitions?” 

“I guess? Uh sorry for changing the topic so quickly but do you know what this place is?”

“...is this a test? Are you mocking us?”

“No, I really, I honestly don’t know what the fucks going on. Your bird body grabbed me and this just kinda happened.”

“It is your mindscape… Where those brought are free to speak the truth buried beneath the flesh… Are you truly the one fit for this role? Is it not embarrassing to ask for such basic knowledge?”

“Probably not? I never really had a say in the whole thing so I’m just kinda taking it as it comes.”

It made me feel so goddamn small when it stared at me with zero reaction. When a wave of laughter shot out all around me things started to feel at least a little less intense.

“How curious! We understand why our incarnation was so intrigued by you.”

“Incarnation? So you aren’t actually that bird guy?

“That is a complicated question, while we may have formed this creature it still has its own will. As long as it shares in our passions for the craft we shall embolden its efforts. Then when it finally passes it shall join us, and a new life will rise from the ashes.”

“So it’s more like a phoenix than a crow…?”

“Not exactly, but the general concept is fairly applicable.”

“I see then I assume it won’t know about any of this?”

“No, as we said, we are the souls that cultivate and support its passions, not the creature itself. 

“Just checking for my own sanity, you aren’t like a god or evil horror right?”

“Ha! Even if we were, do you think we would freely admit such things?”

“Fair enough.”

“This has been an interesting meeting, King of Roaches. Our time runs short but we wish you luck in all your pursuits. We hope that you and our incarnation remain on amicable terms.”

“Wait why are you calling me-”

Fuck before I got it out the world returned to normal, and my head was suddenly head back within the corvid’s grasp. For one reason or another it was intently staring at my empty eye socket. 

“Uh can you let go?”

I got a squawk in return, and to add on to the insult it used its second set of arms to stop my arms from getting in its way. Again I was just kinda stuck, until it had finished intently examining my head. Not that it let me down afterwards, no it picked me up and jumped to another part of the roof where there was an entrance to the building. Only then did it softly put me down and left without a word- uh that's not right.. chirp I guess?

I didn’t really get what the hell the point of all of that was but it was gone and it sure as hell wasn’t going to tell me. What a strange bird, I mean I guess it would be stupid to expect it to act human like but that was a little out there. Weird that it just left too. And just why the hell did it also call me the king of roaches? The only two people who should know about that are Ken and… Lucy.  Ugh she must have done it, there’s gotta be a reason that things know about that dumb shit I said just by looking at me.  Given all the weird shit happening it had to have been her. God I don’t even want to think about this, it’s starting to make way more sense why Ken would say something like it'll be funny later…

Man… I really am all alone up here huh… It’d be easy to make a break for it, go far away and live a quiet life somewhere in the sticks… Maybe somewhere warm, on a beach a nice cold drink and not a care in the world… At least till the world ended I guess. That warning Ken gave really puts a damper on any future schemes…

“You back yet Ken?”

I laid back and stared at the sky, the moon was full and the stars bright and plentiful. It’s nice that there's still places where things aren’t drowned out by the light of the modern world. Almost made the fact that Ken was still gone easy to ignore.

Ha… I guess I’m back thinking about my escape. Getting away is a good idea honestly, after everything they’ve done they kinda deserve what's coming to them. But I know they’d just set off those arm bands, and drag me back.  Maybe with a few more and a lot less freedom to work with. What a bag of dicks…

Maybe I should have followed that bird… I guess I haven't stopped to take in what it actually said… Assuming it wasn’t all just bullshit, and there’s a high likelihood of that… Isn’t that bit about that being my mindscape really bad? Why would the ‘truth hidden beneath flesh’ just lead to Sneckdraw’s body begging me to free it? It’s gotta just be because he’s a mess right? Maybe I should let someone else poke me to test out what happens…But… I really, REALLY don’t want to do that. There’s not even an answer that I can think of that wouldn’t do more harm than good knowing it. The best outcome to all of this would really be that it was just fucking with me.

Laying here and questioning everything was nice and all, but I should get up before Harris comes up here to drag me inside. There’s not much but I’ve still got some pride. I’d planned on just stretching a bit before heading out. But a woman in a welders mask with a flashlight opened the door before I’d gotten past the stretching phase of the plan. 

“Wow you must have made a great impression! Normally there’s more blood after Knocks grabs something she’s interested in!”

“Uh hey?

“Hello! You’re Harry's new kid right? He’s told me all about you.”

She pulled up the mask to reveal an older woman with her white hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her features were sharp, she was tall, and jesus did it look like she worked out. The little of her arm that I could see peeking out between her tee shirt and over oversized gloves were covered in scars. And she tied the look together with a pair of overalls. Given she seemed to know who I was, and everything leading up to this. I had a pretty strong feeling about who she was.

“New kid…? Weird way to put it… but I assume you're the arms dealer wife Harris brought up?”

“Ha! That's one of the many hats I wear, I suppose. I’m Elinore but most people call me Nora, you must be Mills. While I run the forge these days I’m quite the jack of all trades if I do say so myself.”

So this was the kind of woman Harris is into huh…? Not bad, honestly. 

“Uh you seemed to imply that bird was named Knocks right?”

“Yes, she’s a real sweetheart once you get to know her.”

“What exactly is she?  I mean the souls inside her said they were the heart of the forge but that’s a bit confusing if you run it.”

“Wow you learnt all that? Normally there’s a whole rigmarole you’ve gotta go through to get anything out of them. Real tedious.. To answer your question she'd be classified as a fae in your line of work, and she’s too aloof to run anything really.  As with many fae they come and go as they please. She's cat-like in that way despite her appearance.”

“Uhhh what? That thing… That’s a fairy…?!”

“She’s not like the little pixies you’d imagine is she? Since you're so new to this I’ll let you know so you don’t say something rude by accident. 

Fae are generally classified as any collection of souls or ideas that combine together into a single form. The soul part might make it sound like a ghost, but generally those are single dead creatures with their own goals and intentions.  Not that multiple ghosts can’t be in the same place, it's just fae more unified in their intentions.”

“....This is kinda a lot to take in.”

She nodded in agreement and opened the door behind her.

“Let’s head inside then, a warm cup of tea makes anything go down easier.”

I followed her but it was hard to take in much of what was going on. Not just given everything happening, but the real guts of this place weren’t being put on display.  The hallways were pretty much just gray cement on all four walls, there weren't even any doors in sight. Someone was trying to hide what was going on here. Just a little peak around won’t hurt anyone right? I let my senses spread outward, and the play was obvious. There were people beyond these walls, around 20 give or take… They were fairly spread out on what seemed to be two floors. Leading to the conclusion that this hallway was likely temporary or able to be altered somehow. Safe to assume that the biggest secret here isn’t the 8 foot tall bird.

My mind started to hurt from all the strain, and the incoming information so I pulled myself back.  

Once I knew that there was something to be found I managed to catch some strange patterns that were nearly the exact same colour as the rest of the walls. If I hadn’t been specifically keeping an eye out for it I don’t think I would have ever noticed them.

What was interesting was that Nora never did look back. She must have had confidence in whatever defences they had set up here. Even more questionable is how she’d just turn her back to someone she doesn’t know… I guess it was appreciated but it seemed foolish, or like she had enough answers to any problem I might cause. After a trip down a circling stairwell, we ended up reaching a small breakroom that had a coffee maker, a fridge, a microwave and of course a table that Harris was already sitting at. Deep into a cup of coffee already. 

I had to at least ask the obvious question before things went anywhere.

“So why the hell didn’t you warn me about the Bird?”

“Getting grabbed and carried around by Knocks is a right of passage. You don’t look as scratched up as you should for the first time though.”

Nora went to preparing tea for her and I, and motioned for me to sit down as she responded.

“I was surprised too! She must really like him. How’d you even manage that?”

Both of them looked at me expectantly.

“It took out a pipe, so I just lit a cigarette and we just kinda sat there smoking for a while.”

They both looked at each other sharing a slightly confused blink or two before Harris spoke.

“I didn’t hear you scream, but to think that you’d be able to stay that calm. Not bad.”

I couldn’t help but shrug.

“I’ve had worse things happen lately. I don’t think I would have had fairies on my bingo card though.”

“Consider it a taste of what's to come, normally you would have been hit with a crash course in cryptozoology but for now combat's being prioritized given Kenneth’s warning and all.” 

A cup of tea was placed in front of me. I said thanks and received a smile in return. Nora took a seat as well, taking two packs of sugar and a cream from the box that was left in the middle of the table. She asked a spoke while she added them to her tea.

“I've been wondering about this since you brought it up… How’d exactly did you manage to talk to the heart of the forge?”

Harris almost choked on his drink. When the short coughing fit ended he finally spoke.

“He did what?!”

The slightest hint of a smile crossed Nora’s face, it didn’t seem to carry the same gentle kindness it had previously…

“Uhhhh…”

The pieces fell into place, and it was clear I’d admitted too much. That fucking bird made me fail to even consider that knowing that title alone would raise flags.  Shit I didn’t want to say anything about what happens on skin contact before I got to talk to Ken… They’re both staring at me, Fuck!… These two are goddamn sharp… How can I get out of this… Okay take it easy… No one knows what I can do, as long as I just give them enough truth I’ll be able to leave out details.

“Knocks grabbed my head, and then its meat unraveled and a bunch of flame spewed out? There was a big shadow thing mixed in with it. It didn’t really say much, just introduced itself, and explained that the bird was its incarnation. After that everything went back to normal and Knock’s just stared at my empty eye socket for a while and took off.”

Harris planted his forehead into his hand, and suddenly looked very exhausted. Nora on the other hand just laughed.

“I think you’ll be writing reports till your hands go numb with this one Harry.”

“I’ll never get my beauty sleep again, I don’t think there’s coming back from this one Nora.”

“Well… I’ll buy you a nice coffin, at least then your skeleton will have somewhere nice to make up for it.

“Don’t worry if I die I’ll haunt both of you to actually make up for it.”

“‘If’ he says. Like he hasn’t been rushing into danger for the last 20 years.”

“I’ve got luck on my side, what can I say?”

“It’s luck, is it?! So I guess you don’t need that painstakingly crafted hand cannon, or all those hand carved runed bullets.  I’ve got a long list of buyers just waiting for a chance to get one of those.”

“Hmm… I think I’ll keep it.  Since I guess those may have helped too… at least a little.”

Nora threw the empty creamer at Harris, and both of them suddenly started laughing… I don’t know what was going on, but it seemed like I was in the clear?  This sure as hell didn’t seem like the Harris I’d met up to this point…  But if it was going to stop them from asking any further questions I’ll fucking take it. Nora eventually decided to ignore Harris and directed her attention to me.

“So Mills, you said Knocks was staring at your empty eye?”

“Yeah? I guess it was kinda looking all over my head.”

“That old bird, of course it’d just leave after that.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry, Harry we may as well take Mills home with us, we can do a proper tour in the morning. Things are a touch too hectic tonight given it’s a full moon.”

I may as well ask her the obvious question.

“The moon matters?” 

“Some materials react better or worse under moonlight, so full moons, and new moons are busy times for everyone here.”

Harris scratched his head and spoke up.

“I really should have double checked that before we drove out here.”

“Yes you should have, now you get to take care of our guest. ”

“You also could have reminded me in at least one of those messages.”

“I could have! But I wanted to meet the one you’ve been talking about so much. Plus it worked out in the end didn’t it?”

“Haaaa…. I suppose so… The cabin’s clean right?”

“Yes,  I even did a supply run a few days ago! After you said Mills over there, was getting out of observation it was only a matter of time till you showed up.”

I was really just letting them go on but that was something I wanted expanded on a little. It’s not like going out today was pre-planned.

“Why’d you assume that we’d be showing up soon?”

“Harry introduces me to all his problem children.  After all… I need to know who personally hunt down and dispose of in case anything unfortunate were to happen.  Accental or intentional.”

A smile may be on her face, but it sure as hell didn’t seem like she was joking… The fact that she immediately went back to enjoying her tea like it was nothing happened was a hell of a power play… In a way I was almost impressed, this pair really was something else…

That did finally remind me that I should get around to actually drinking the tea in front of me.  I didn't end up adding anything, honestly at this point it was more the warmth of it that I was enjoying. It didn’t taste bad or anything, it’s just something that wasn’t room temperature was still pretty wild. 

Even if I haven’t been out long it sinks in deeper and deeper how much I’ve been deprived of.  I’m not sure if it makes me angry, or just numb to everything. Even while these two went on with their small talk, it just became more and more obvious how much easier things would have been with just a little more support. But could I honestly say that anyone else would have been safe helping before? Really if all of the meat and bone inside that place wasn’t something I felt a connection with, it’d probably been driven mad. I don’t think there’s another person in this world who’d come back the same after so long, I’m not even sure I did.

Ugh these thoughts aren’t doing anything for me. Just think of something to say, anything. 

“Why’s the bird named Knocks?”

The two of them looked a touch confused why that came up out of nowhere but Nora did end up answering.

“It’s really as obvious as you’d expect.  She used to knock on things when she wanted our attention. Then while learning how to write one of the first notes it gave me just said ‘Me am Knocks’.”

“Huh… You’d figure it’d just squawk at you if it wanted your attention.”

“You’d think right! But she saves that for when she’s angry, annoyed or very pleased with herself.”

“Interresting. So I guess you communicate with her using notes?”

“Not as often as you’d expect, even if she can read, write and understand us they don’t really have much to say. Most of the time they do, it’s only because she needs materials.”

“Huh… I guess I should also ask what those orbs of fire in the forest were.”

“Those are from Knocks as well, funny enough.  It can see out of them, so it always knows what’s going on and who’s approaching. In a way they manage security in exchange for materials and food.”

“She’s multi-talented.”

Beeping started to come from Nora, and after she looked at the notification she got up.

“That’s my time up. Now Mills tomorrow I hope you’ll have some questions for me. Knock’s can’t just be stealing all your attention. After all I’ve got plenty of stories that you’d love to hear I’m sure. Especially ones that Harry here would rather die than tell himself.”

Harris snickered with a content look on his face.

“That may be true, but at least I don’t get jealous over the bird being the center of attention.”

“She just swoops in and steals the show every time, how can I compete with that!”

“You could take up kidnapping people when they first show up too, but I think I may have to ask for a divorce.”

“Well it was nice knowing you, I’m sure you’ll find a nice ditch to die in once you run out of ammo.”

Again they both just started laughing, and Nora kissed Harris on the cheek and left. Leaving me and Harris just sitting there. The smile on his face was practically beaming.

“Isn’t she a doll.”

“Uh… I guess? It’s weird and fuck being the third wheel around you two.”

“You’ll find somebody for yourself eventually. It’ll make more sense after that.”

“If you say so.”

“We should get going, the cabin’s just a five minute drive away. Nora had it built so she’d have somewhere close after long nights like this. It’s nothing fancy, but it should have everything we need. She was probably so excited that she had someone prepare clothes and everything.”

“Excited huh, weird given she basically said she’d kill me if I did anything to you.”

“That’s just how love is, I know everyone who works here too so I can do the same for her.”

“That’s weird, man.”

“You’ll get it when you’re old like me. Now let’s head out.”