#batpost

[violent138]

There comes a time when the criminals prefer being taken in by Batman, because his kids go a little overboard:

Goon: "You won't kill me."

Cass: "You ready to bet your life on that?"

Duke: *tosses her the gun they took off the guy* "I would do what she says."

---------

Random thug: "Hey Batman doesn't kill--"

Damian: "Not like he's here. You're certainly not going to be able to tell him."

---------

Tim: "Well, accidents do happen. Shame." *starts to let go of the rope*

Guy dangling off the building: "No, no okay, okay, I'll tell you!"

---------

Steph: *clears throat*

Gang members: "We surrender!" *multiple guns fall to the ground*

Steph: "I see my reputation precedes me, wise choice."

---------

*Bruce gets chewed out by Gordon by the Batsignal because the rumours have spread so much, it kind of sounds like Batman's kids have been going around murdering people*

Bruce: "In my defense, it's only one of them."

Gordon: "What."

Bruce: *realizes he never filled Gordon in on Red Hood*

[brionysea]

Tim: I could fix Batman

Jason: No, I could fix Batman. But then I fucking died and accidentally made him worse instead

Jason: But when I come back and try to make him worse on PURPOSE, suddenly he won't do it!

Tim, deadly serious: I would've killed The Joker for you

Jason: Aw, thanks Tim

Tim:

Tim, whispering: I could fix Red Hood...

Jason: Stop it

[charlierakib]

Tim: I could fix Batman

Jason: No, I could fix Batman. But then I fucking died and accidentally made him worse instead

Jason: But when I come back and try to make him worse on PURPOSE, suddenly he won't do it!

Tim, deadly serious: I would've killed The Joker for you

Jason: Aw, thanks Tim

Tim:

Tim, whispering: I could fix Red Hood...

Jason: Stop it

[batpedia]

BAT: Bat (& variations)

GAME OF ORIGIN: Final Fantasy XIV, released 2013 on various platforms; live-service/MMORPG

CLASSIFICATION: simple, shape-based depiction of a standard, semi-realistic bat; hostile enemy, with variations that differ in look and behavior

RANKING: very solid bat. visually distinct while being incredibly simple, without losing out on key details such as ears and wing shape. eyes are very striking, create a very cute look for the creature as a whole. for a standard MMO enemy, a lot of love clearly went into designing this bat.

VERDICT: 7/10 squeaks

[t4tails]

the joker is so fucked up for this one. OCD based death trap is crazy

[incorrectbatfam]

Dick was the last to be adopted, Jason became the black sheep post-resurrection, Tim made himself Robin, Damian was dropped in Gotham after ten years of being kept secret, Cass possesses killer instincts that run counter to Batman's philosophy, Duke is a meta whose parents are still alive (albeit jokerized), and Steph has zero legal connections to the Waynes. All of the batkids have reason to believe they're the only one Bruce doesn't want around and Bruce is unaware of the problem because they don't vocalize it not just out of the usual emotional constipation, but also a deep-seated fear of being proven right. In this essay, I will—

[loveisinthebat]

Eyes full of Hope

[daily-batposting]

Antillean Fruit-Eating Bat, unknown photographer , (source)

[feyinvestigations]

The grounding pt 2 electric boogaloo aka sometimes the treasure is the bond between robins and their respective superboys we found along the way

First //// prev //// next

Masterpost

[violent138]

Bruce: "Oracle I wanted to ask if you'd finished--"

Barbara, running on fumes, connected to so many different cases and communications she doesn't know where her brain ends and where the database begins: "What?"

Bruce, honestly afraid of that look: "It's fine, it can wait, I'll actually get someone else on it. Do you need anything--?"

Barbara, already on the phone to manage a team halfway across the world:

Bruce: *bat-disappearing*

steph & cass have started spending a little too much time with barbra

because now the two of them can do her ‘are you serious you fucking idiot’ look, and even bruce is starting to get startled by it

[banghwa-moved]

average gothamite google search results

bruce wayne in the batman (2022) template: x, x | insp: x, x

[violent138]

Bruce showing someone his kids' pictures from when they were little: "And this is Jason--"

Jason: "That's a picture of Tim, actually--"

Bruce, fumbling with his wallet: "This is Barbara when she was younger--"

Babs: "Steph isn't even a redhead, how are you messing this up?"

Bruce: "This is Cass--"

Steph: "That's literally a cropped baby picture of you. What are you doing?"

Bruce: "You can't see it fully but this is Alfred with Dick--"

Damian: "That used to be a picture of me and Grandfather."

Bruce: "Here's a picture of Tim."

Batkids: *examining it*

Tim: "That... actually could be anyone."

Damian, simultaneously: "It's not ugly enough for Drake."

Bruce, oblivious to the fight breaking out: "And this is Duke."

Duke, spitting out water when he sees it: "How the hell do you have that?"

Dick: "Well at least he's two for ten."

Jason, going through the photos: "Why are some of these fucking stock photos?"

Dick: "You think that's bad? He's got a picture from the circus with Tim circled in the crowd."

[batpedia]

I know you were gonna do Morrigan anyway, but consider:

Lil bats.

BAT: Morrigan Aensland

GAME OF ORIGIN: Darkstalkers: The Night Warriors, released 1994 to arcades

CLASSIFICATION: humanoid with bat-like characteristics; playable character

RANKING: perhaps the furthest possible extrapolation of what a "bat" is, most forms of Morrigan aren't really recognizably bats so much as they are bat-adjacent humanoid magical people, but what the hell she's pretty! for a person in the realm of a bat, Morrigan certainly sticks the landing on aesthetics. also she's really pretty.

VERDICT: 8/10 squeaks

[t4tails]

based teen titans go computer pirate

[incorrectbatfam]

The first rule of driving the Batmobile is to have fun and be yourself

[loveisinthebat]

You love to see him