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#chocolate brussel sprouts
monkemischief · 10 months
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Once when I was a younger, I was hanging out with buddies somewhere and some guy came up and everybody was like "Oh, this guy's the best! He always has cool snacks!" And he offered all of us chocolate donut holes.
I did NOT trust this man, but I AM a sucker for sweets, so I took one, took a tiny bite and immediately spat it out.
This man. This Demon. Had spent years hanging out with these kids to build a reputation as "the snack guy". And when the time was right. HE FED THEM CHOCOLATE COVERED BRUSSEL SPROUTS.
THAT WASN'T ALL! HE MIXED THEM IN WITH ACTUAL DONUT HOLES TO GASLIGHT THEM AND TURN THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER! I WASN'T EVEN ONE OF HIS TARGETS AND HE SAW ME AND IMMEDIATELY WENT
"Oh yeah. This one gets a Brussel sprout immediately." AND FUCKING PLACED IT IN MY HANDS HIMSELF.
I'm so lucky I kinda like Brussel sprouts
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demigod-of-the-agni · 11 months
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Trick or treat 🕷
the good one >:)
I will give you artist thoughts: I wanted to draw like, a series of pictures of the I/ATSV spider-youth and how everyone would look like in each of their universes. Like we saw Miles in Gwen's universe (at least in photograph form)
now take that and this chocolate
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send me Trick or Treats >:))))
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x-ladydisdain-x · 1 year
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Am I abt to get my period or what bc i have been having the most intense cravings
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aveganeverywhere · 2 years
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My sister’s birthday was on Thanksgiving so it would not be proper to have just one cake lol. The vegan chocolate mousse cake is from a place on Long Island in West Hempstead called the sunflower bake shop. The hummingbird buns I made myself so you can’t buy it lol we served garlic peas stuffing mashed potatoes gravy brussels sprouts and Gardien turkey cutlets. I also made a cranberry ginger punch.
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flannelandcocoa · 2 years
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airasora · 6 months
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A dramatization of an unfortunate conversation I had on Facebook.
He also called me a Karen, told me not to breed and that I'm a toxic feminist.
Gender was literally never brought up until he decided that my opinion on the situation would change if the genders were reversed... which they would not. I still think they were both idiots xD
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greencheekconure27 · 1 year
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Okay, we've had plenty of those "popular food that you hate" polls.It's time for:
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thechoppedmenu · 1 year
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S2E3: "High Hopes"
Appetizer Ingredients: Calamari, Brussel Sprouts, Asian Pears
Entree Ingredients: Bison, Dried Mango, Leeks, Belgian-Style Ale
Dessert Ingredients: Ancho Chiles, Semi-Sweet Chocolate, Plums
Judges: Marc Murphy, Amanda Freitag, Scott Conant
Chefs: John Lawson, Michael Ferraro, David Kirschner, Nicole Puzio
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skyscribbler · 1 year
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Dinner out with friends
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bagofshinyrocks · 9 months
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Period Comfort
Prompt: How the boys act when their S/O is on their period. [Requested by @weebumochi]
Featuring: TF141 and Los Vaqueros - John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, Alejandro Vargas, and Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra (separately) x GN!Reader
Word Count: 1.2k
Warnings: reader menstruates, but no mention of genitalia; menstruation discomfort; nothing else i can think of, but lemme know if there's more
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John Price
Always gets you water and a fresh cup of tea once your cups looks a little low.
Finds out what meals are best for someone on their period and focuses on making those for the week.
You two would make food with beef, eggs, and fish (if you eat them); spinach, squash, and brussel sprouts. All the nutritious stuff. 
And then he would make treats for you, especially dark chocolate on almonds or walnuts. Bring you bananas, berries, figs. You felt like ancient Mesopotamian royalty. All things that were also good for you, but were more traditional period comfort food of “sweet”. 
If you really needed to eat half a family sized bag of barbeque potato chips, he would fetch them and put them in a bowl for you. No questions asked. No movement in the eyebrows. A loving smile as he asks what movie you two were going to watch.
 But for dinner, he’s making something without so much… sodium.
Does everything he can to make your period easier on you.
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Simon Riley
Doesn’t tell you that he knows you’re on your period, but that shit is on the calendar. Doesn’t want to make you feel like he’s all “oh is it that time of the month?”. So he pretends nothing is different.
He’s always so sweet to you, but he’s especially so when you’re on your period.
There are absolutely no gibes or pokes at the tender part of your heart. And whenever you’re most hormonal (which is also on the calendar), he might not tease you at all. Because one time he was a little snarky with you, and normally it would roll right off, but you were just a teensy bit too hormonal. And you got quiet. And your lip quivered. And he didn’t stop apologizing the whole day.
Any shows or movies he normally sighs about (but still sits down and watches… and gets invested in, the lying shit), there is no fussing.
“Alright, lovie, sounds good. Do you want another cuppa while I’m up?”
Need some quiet time by yourself? He has some errands to run, let him know what you want for dinner.
Just does his best to make sure you never feel crazy when you’re on your period.
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Kyle Garrick
When the worst of your period comes in, it becomes the typical night in.
The dumbest movies that you two love. Dessert eaten before dinner. Favorite takeout and all the accoutrement available. A glass of wine or some other treat beverage. Matching pajama sets.
Kyle had almost fallen asleep when you massaged a yummy-smelling hair mask into his scalp, and then pulled a ‘oh I was just resting my eyes’. And then he returned the favor, painting a luxurious facial mask on you. Making hearts on your cheeks, then spreading them out. You were fairly sure he drew boobs on your forehead, but then smeared it out and insisted you were just imagining it.
You give each other manicures, and hand feed the other food whilst their nails dried. Kissing chocolate and strawberries off each others lips and chins.
Once his hair was wrapped up, he’s all snuggled up in your arms. The heat and weight of his body against your abdomen was soothing. And the gentle snoring of the love of your life.
Everything he can to make you feel comfortable and attractive in your own skin.
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Johnny MacTavish
He gets up at the ass crack of dawn to go for a run (like a fucking psycho). Once you wake up, he wants to go to the gym with you. Whether or not you work out, or just poke his butt because it’s funny, he wants you there. But not today. Your cramps, or just the general yuckiness of menstruating, makes you want to not leave the house.
So he hops on the internet, and finds the workouts, stretches, and yoga poses that would help you feel better.
The most gentle workout he’s had in his life. Stretching with the speed of tai chi, leaning against your back and chatting quietly.
Kisses wherever he can reach as you two figure out the yoga poses. Sticks his ass out as far as he can so you’ll poke it. Whistles whenever you begin a pose that’s even marginally suggestive. Waggles his eyebrows and maybe even cops a feel.
Double checks that you aren’t overexerting yourself. Stops for water (and kiss) breaks and asks how you’re feeling. What’s helping, what’s not helping? Time to stop, or keep going?
Helping with the physical and visceral symptoms so you’re more comfortable.
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Alejandro Vargas
If he can, he’s clearing the schedule for the worst day of the week. Does grocery shopping and laundry before, so there is essentially nothing to do that day when Mother Nature is curb-stomping you.
Spoils you with a long lie-in. The sun has long since come up by the time you wake up to massages and kisses.
You join him for breakfast and a quick rinse off shower, and then you two crawl right back into bed. Leaning against him as he kneads the skin and muscles of your abdomen or back, a movie or the radio as ambient noise.
Maybe you fall back asleep. Maybe you watch an entire TV show. Maybe you putter about and do some light home-making. The goal is that you are fully rested.
I bet science says that you can’t “catch up on sleep”, but it’s still nice to have a day where you sleep for most of it. Especially when it’s curled up in bed with your sweet lover. His hands on you for the entire day, closely followed by his lips.
His whole body squeezing you tight when you try to leave, and wrapping around you again once you return.
Just physically reminding you of how much he loves you.
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Rodolfo Parra
Once he sees a menstrual product wrapper in the bathroom trash can, he’s off to make the most professional grocery run you’ve ever seen.
Knows exactly which products you use, and checks which are low. Buys the right medications or products. The snacks that you love (that won’t betray you later with a stomach ache), and the little drink treat that’s for special occasions. 
You swear that he hears the crinkle of a wrapper in the bathroom and marches to the store.
Puts the groceries away while you’re finishing up the breakfast dishes and then offers you the little beverage and maybe a treat.
He guides you to the couch or back to bed, sidling up next to or behind you and kisses you deeply. Arms roaming and then settling in a way that keeps you as close as possible. Pressing against you as if you could become one.
Cuddles in the way that is most comfortable, whether you’re in his lap or laying down. Kisses you all over. Hand feeds you until you’re giggling too hard.
He never wants you to run out of the supplies you need, or feel any less sexy while menstruating. Because you are always so sexy to him.
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Posted: 2024 January 7
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moonstruckme · 6 months
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hey mae! it’s been awhile since i’ve sent an ask but im always reading your work girl! i love how you write tbh. if you’re up to it do you think you could write something with poly marauders, where the reader has trouble eating and making themself eat due to poor appetite. my appetite really does come and go and ever since covid (maybe before) it’s like eating makes me feel revolted. sometimes i just don’t feel like eating bc of other things like depression, adhd, anxiety. i was just wondering if you could write something with the boys helping out the reader with finding out what sounds good, cooking, and eating if possible. sometimes having someone around to talk to and hang out with makes it so much easier to deal -🌶️
Hey Pepper, thank you sm! And thanks for being patient with me <3
cw: lack of appetite, mention of skipping meals
poly!marauders x gn!reader ♡ 1.1k words
The sun’s going down, the last dregs of its light spilling brilliant and golden over the book in your lap, and you can feel your boyfriends starting to get restless. Well, two of them. 
“If we’re missing half the ingredients,” Sirius says, trailing James into the kitchen, “it’s not going to be any good.” 
James only tsks. “Ye of little faith. That’s what improvisation is for.” He starts pulling things down from the cabinet. 
“You’re not even going to glance at the recipe?” 
“I don’t need to. I know the general vibe.” 
“Help!” Sirius calls towards the living room. “He’s gone off the rails. Remus, come fix it.” 
Remus turns around to look over the back of the sofa, his shoulder brushing yours as he does. He’s sitting right up against you despite the couch being empty, not that you mind. Remus is sort of like a cat that wants to be near you but not always to be pet. His touches are often like this, passive gestures like a hand on your head or his thigh pressed against yours. It works for you just fine; you can feel the affection bleeding into you from any point of contact. 
“Don’t you think we should just eat out?” Sirius asks, tilting his head and doing that thing with his eyes that you all pretend doesn’t work on you. 
Impressively, Remus keeps his face impassive. “I’m having leftover brussels sprouts,” he replies, “so it’s not really my concern. Anyway, James has a good history with not following recipes.” 
“Exactly,” James says, grinning at Sirius, who scowls. But then he fixes his gaze on Remus. “So why are you having that, Rem? Have what I’m making.” 
“Because they’re going to go bad, and I’m not hungry enough for a big meal.” The last part is said somewhat quieter, directed towards the living room as he turns back around and picks up his own book. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see James frown, but he glances at Sirius and they seem to collectively decide not to push it. Remus’ appetite isn’t much better than yours. He has his better days, but it’s not uncommon for him not to feel up to what your other boyfriends would consider a whole meal or to eat only chocolate until Sirius hounds him into something more substantial. 
James looks to you hopefully. “You’ll have some, won’t you sweetheart?” 
You wince, hating to let him down, and from the look on James’ face he clocks the guilt in your expression before even you get a chance to say, “I don’t think I’m really up to it tonight, either.” 
James deflates, but he’s clearly trying to put on a brave face. “That’s alright. I think I’ll just save it for another night, then.” 
“I’m sorry,” you say, setting your book facedown on the armrest and turning around to face him more fully. “You could still make it and just put leftovers in the freezer. Maybe I’ll have some tomorrow.” You wince again as soon as you say it. No promises, though.
The smile James gives you is comforting if not totally satisfied. “It’s okay. I’ll just make it another time, it’s not a problem.” 
You return his smile, close-lipped. Sirius is looking at you with narrowed eyes, arms crossed like he’s sizing you up. 
“What are you going to eat?” he asks. 
“Hm?” 
“What are you going to have instead?” You hesitate, and he tilts his head knowingly, a piece of hair slipping from behind his ear to drape over his shoulder. “You need to have something, especially since you didn’t have lunch.” 
From the kitchen, James looks at you. “You didn’t?” 
“I just…don’t feel like it.” It’s a feeble argument even to your own ears, and the look Sirius gives you says that he thinks so, too. 
“You can’t miss two meals,” he says obstinately. “Even Remus is having some brussels sprouts.”
You look to Remus to be offended at the even Remus comment, but he only shrugs. You’re on your own. 
“What sounds good?” he asks you. 
You try not to pout. “Nothing. Everything sounds gross.” 
“C’mon, baby.” Sirius leans against the countertop. “It doesn’t have to be strictly dinner food, yeah? Just anything that sounds like you’d be willing to eat it.” 
You think for a minute. Remus touches the back of his hand to your leg, knuckles soothing over the skin beside your knee. 
“I guess…ice cream sounds okay,” you say hesitantly. “But I know that’s not exactly nutritious…” 
“Would a milkshake be close enough?” James pipes up. 
You shrug. “I guess.” 
He grins. “I can do that for you, love. Just gimme a sec.” 
James is a loud cook. You go back to your book while cabinet doors slam and the blender whirs and you hear a muffled “oh, shit” as something is undoubtedly dropped on the floor, but a minute later he’s bringing you a glass of something thick and chocolate-y looking. You smile at the added garnish of mint and a straw, reaching for it. 
“Thanks, Jamie.” 
He winks. “Anytime.” 
Remus is the only one courteous enough not to obviously watch while you take a sip, and you feel your eyebrows raise as you look up at James. 
“This is really good,” you say. He practically glows at the praise. “I didn’t even know we had chocolate ice cream.” 
Sirius barks a laugh, and James’ smile widens. 
“What?” you ask. 
“We don’t,” he admits. “Will it ruin your appetite if I tell you it’s not actually ice cream?” 
You shake your head, sucking at the straw. “I’m already drinking it, so.” 
James beams. He really is looking very proud of himself. “It’s a protein shake. A pretty balanced meal, actually.” 
“Nice!” You grin at him, taking another hearty slurp mostly because you know it’ll please him. “It’s perfect, thank you.” 
“Gotta keep our sweetheart fed,” he says, bending down for a kiss. Sirius and Remus’ hums of approval nearly harmonize, and you and James share an elated look while they both do their best to pretend like it didn’t happen. 
“Can I try?” Remus asks, and you tilt the cup towards him in invitation. 
He wraps his lips around your straw, sipping hesitantly. He looks mildly impressed. 
“Could you make me one of those too?” 
From the look on James’ face, he’d be delighted to. “Course, love.” He plants a smacker on Remus’ cheek and nearly knocks Sirius over as he beelines for the kitchen. 
“This is just excellent,” Sirius gripes, but you see the satisfaction in his expression. “Now that you two have blown up his ego, I’ll have to eat something he makes too.” 
“Correct,” James says brightly. “And you should be so lucky.” 
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theambitiouswoman · 1 year
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Gut Friendly Grocery List 🥦🥑🧀
🧀 Probiotic and Fermented Foods:
Yogurt (look for live and active cultures)
Kefir
Sauerkraut
Kimchi
Pickles (fermented)
Tempeh
Miso
Fermented cheeses (e.g., cheddar, gouda, Swiss)
Kombucha
🫘 Fiber-Rich Foods:
Whole grain bread, cereal or pasta
Oats
Brown rice
Quinoa
Lentils
Chickpeas
Black beans
🍳 Protein:
Lean meats (chicken, turkey, lean cuts of beef or pork)
Fish (salmon, mackerel, sardines)
Eggs (rich in amino acids)
Tofu and tempeh (fermented soy products)
Cottage cheese
🍎 Fruits:
Berries (blueberries, strawberries, raspberries)
Bananas
Apples
Oranges
Lemons
Watermelon
🥦 Vegetables:
Spinach
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Brussels sprouts
Asparagus
Onions
Garlic
Artichokes
Sweet Potato
Jicama
Chicory root
Dandelion greens
🥜 Nuts and Seeds:
Almonds
Walnuts
Flaxseeds
Chia seeds
Pumkin seeds
🥑 Healthy Fats:
Avocado
Olive oil
Grass fed butter
🍠 Herbs and Spices:
Turmeric
Ginger
Garlic
🧉 Beverages:
Green tea
Herbal teas
Aloe vera juice
Coconut water
🍫 Other:
Dark chocolate (in moderation)
Apple cider vinegar
Bone Broth
Raw honey
sea salt
Collagen
Seaweed
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bloomzone · 6 months
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A PROGRAM OF A HEALTHY DIET
(with idea)
- inspired by Korean idols !
By: ★﹕byeolgιrᥣ﹒
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"Take care of yourself, That's the priority, You can only recieve love if you love yourself, I hope you think of yourself as a priority, Then people around you will love you"
- Jang Wonyoung
Breakfast:
1. Overnight oats with almond milk, chia seeds, sliced banana, and a drizzle of honey.
2. Whole grain cereal with skim milk, topped with mixed berries and a sprinkle of flaxseeds.
3. Veggie omelette made with bell peppers, onions, and mushrooms, served with whole grain toast.
4. Smoothie bowl with blended spinach, frozen mixed berries, Greek yogurt, and a handful of granola.
Mid-Morning Snack:
1. Sliced cucumber and cherry tomatoes with hummus.
2. Rice cakes with avocado mash and a sprinkle of black pepper.
3. Cottage cheese with sliced strawberries and a drizzle of balsamic glaze.
4. Whole grain crackers with tuna salad (made with Greek yogurt instead of mayo) and cucumber slices.
Lunch:
1. Quinoa salad with diced mango, black beans, diced bell peppers, and a lime vinaigrette dressing.
2. Whole wheat wrap filled with grilled chicken, lettuce, tomato, avocado, and mustard.
3. Lentil soup with a side of mixed greens salad and a whole grain roll.
4. Brown rice bowl with stir-fried tofu, broccoli, carrots, and a teriyaki sauce.
Afternoon Snack:
1. Sliced apple with a spread of almond butter and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
2. Edamame beans sprinkled with sea salt.
3. Greek yogurt parfait with layers of granola, mixed berries, and a drizzle of honey.
4. Air-popped popcorn seasoned with nutritional yeast and smoked paprika.
Dinner:
1. Grilled shrimp skewers with quinoa pilaf and roasted Brussels sprouts.
2. Baked cod fillet with roasted sweet potatoes and steamed green beans.
3. Turkey chili served over baked sweet potatoes and topped with diced avocado.
4. Whole wheat pasta with marinara sauce, lean ground turkey, and sautéed spinach.
Evening Snack (optional):
1. Sliced pear with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a few squares of dark chocolate.
2. Celery sticks filled with almond butter and topped with raisins.
3. A small handful of mixed nuts (such as almonds, cashews, and pistachios).
4. Herbal tea with a squeeze of lemon and a small piece of cheese.
These meal ideas offer a variety of nutrients while keeping the overall calorie intake in check for a healthy and balanced diet.
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prettieinpink · 1 year
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Question about Cycle Syncing. Do you know where i can find, like a masterlist of food that fits into the steps of the cycle? I always see the same food but how abt the rest? Would be nice to know for example for meal building.
MASTERLIST: NUTRITION CYCLE SYNCING
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This post is a masterlist of everything that is recommended you eat while cycle syncing. if you don’t know what that is, read this beginner guide.
This post is a researched post, because I actually couldn’t find a proper masterlist. So, I researched what kinds of nutrients you need during your 4 phases, but I am NO DOCTOR. Just a little disclaimer!
MENSTRUAL/FOLLICULAR PHASE - high iron, vitamin C foods
VEGETABLES
Spinach
Silver beet
Broccoli
String beans
Peas
Sweet potatoes
Beet greens
Dandelion greens
Collards
Chard
Chilli peppers
Sweet yellow peppers
Parsley
Brussel sprouts
FRUITS
Oranges
Guavas
Black currants
Cantaloupe
Kiwis
Lemons
Lychees
Papayas
Strawberries
Oranges
Watermelon
Figs
Prunes
PROTEINS
Beef
Lamb
Liverwurst
Pork
Veal
Dried beef
Eggs
Shrimp
Clams
Tuna
Sardines
CARBS/OTHER
Whole wheat bread
Enriched pasta
Rye bread
Enriched rice
Tofu
Beans
Lentils
OVULATORY PHASE – complex carbs, lean proteins, anti-inflammatory, vitamin B6, folate/choline
VEGETABLES
Carrots
Spinach
Sweet potato
Red potato
Green peas
Chickpeas
Butternut squash
Asparagus
Turnip greens
Romaine lettuce
Beets
Sweet corn
Mushrooms
Pumpkin
Parsnip
Cauliflower
FRUITS
Bananas
Avocado
Mango
Blueberries
Apple
Peaches
Tangerine
Pink grapefruit
lemons
PROTEINS
Egg whites
Strained yoghurt
Skinless white meat poultry
Plain greek yoghurt
Low fat cottage cheese
Tofu
Lean beef
Powdered peanut butter
Beef liver
Pork loin
Bison
Organ meat
CARBS/OTHER
Lentils
Kidney beans
Green peas
Walnuts
Flaxseeds
Cashews
Almonds
Pistachios
LUTEAL PHASE – High fibre, vitamin B12, magnesium
VEGETABLES
Spinach
Swiss chard
Collard greens
Green peas
Sweet corn
Cabbage
Arugula
Bok choy
Celery
Lettuce
FRUITS
Pears
Strawberries
Avocado
Apples
Raspberries
Blackberries
Blueberries
Bananas
PROTEINS
Animal liver
Animal kidney
Clams
Swiss cheese
Turkey
Crabs
Ham
CARBS/OTHER
Oats
Popcorn
Almonds
Fresh coconut
Sunflower seeds
Dark chocolate
Wheat
barley
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koolades-world · 12 days
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Hello! When you have time can you please do headcanons on the brothers (and side characters) reacting to MC pranking them by getting a brussel sprout, dipping it in chocolate and nuts, then wrapping it into a ferrero rocher covering and then going so far as to reseal the box? I think this would be really funny lol
hiii!! yes omg of course
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BESTIE (i think i timed this right? if not, i'm close bc it's still your birthday week lol) y'all go wish atom happy bday! literally so many of my bangers are a request she made. hope you had a wonderful birthday <3333
enjoy <3
Mc pranks everyone with fake Ferrero Rochers
Lucifer
he actually automatically assumes the anti-lucifer league put you up to this
you manage to dodge all liability for something you were totally responsible for
take this secret to the grave lest you suffer the wrath of lucifer haha
Mammon
he loves you so much, so he pretends to enjoy it since he assumes it's just an odd human thing
however afterwards, he immediately throws it away
you might casually mention it again in the future and then he realizes it was a prank all along
Levi
may or may not burst into tears because he thinks you hate him and that's why you gave it to him
please buy him a regular tray and show him it was just a prank
if you really love him, eat one yourself to show how sorry you are
Satan
if you were anyone else, there's no way you'd still be alive
seems the most likely to spit it out, but laughs it off with you
he might play a harmless prank on you back and hopes it's not the start of some mini war
Asmo
will outright ask you if you were being serious or not
that intense look in his eyes gets you to confess
as payback, he has you act as his mannequin for the evening to test out fun outfits and makeup looks on
Beel
he's the wrong one to prank lmao
he will deadpan eat them, tell you how oddly delicious and different they tasted
will ask for more. prank: failed
Belphie
he sees right through your shit
he will eat one, but will immediately realize what you did
won't retaliate but will give you the meanest stink eye ever
Diavolo
will happily eat it
he thinks it's just a human thing and will make sure to let you know he enjoyed it
it seems as if he actually liked it! is this success or not?
Barbatos
that 'candy' will not enter his mouth once
it's barbatos, he saw this coming and won't fall for it
in fact, you somehow end up eating it. well played barb, well played
Simeon
would for sure pretend to enjoy it
he doesn't want to hurt your feelings after all, since it was a gift
unless you ever admit to what you did, he will never say anything about it
Luke
like father like son
he assumes it was a well intentioned gift and will take the fact that he hated it to the grave
honestly maybe just don't do this to him it feels cruel haha
Solomon
he seems like he'd actually enjoy it
just convince him that it's just how they are now and he's been away from the human world for too long
however, this will all go out the window as soon as he buys himself a tray haha
Mephisto
he feels so betrayed haha
here he was, thinking you'd gone out of your way to give him a gift
contemplates retaliation, but decides not to because he deems himself a gentleman
Thirteen
she doesn't contemplate retaliation
her plan had already begun to moment she took a bite of your monstrosity haha
you may want to watch your back from now on, but she'll probably get you anyways
Raphael 
i feel like he would at first be confused
but then, he's going to threaten you with his spear(s)
run for you life mc!
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cevansbrat0007 · 1 year
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Moments Shared
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Summary: You and Ari share a moment during a lazy afternoon...
Warnings: Mature Themes, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, Fluff & Schmoop, Light Smut, Secrets, Discussions of Imaginary Friends, Brief Mention of Pyromania, Light Fingering, Ass Slapping, Mentions of Spanking, Mentions of Restraints, Love Songs, Cursing, Minors DNI
A/N: This story is part of my Sweet Renegades Series. Semi-proofread but not beta'd. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
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“Bird?”
“Mm?” You look up from your place sprawled across Ari’s chest, the steady sound of his heartbeat having almost lulled you to sleep after yet another lazy bout of lovemaking. 
The perfect activity for a quiet Sunday afternoon.
“Tell me something.” The easy rasp of his voice has you smiling before you even realize you’re doing it. “About you.” He absentmindedly runs his knuckles up and down your arms, marveling at the trail of goosebumps he leaves behind in his wake. 
“Um, what do you wanna know?” You press a soft kiss against his pec, the soft hairs adorning his skin tickling your nose. 
The bounty hunter takes a moment to think. “Anything.” He finally responds, as if he had weighed his options and decided he was better off not pressing his luck. So he’d settled on accepting whatever it was you deigned to share with him. And he’d be damned grateful for it. “Whatever you wanna tell me.”
“I guess I’m just not sure don’t what to say.” Of their own accord, he wraps one of your curls around a thick finger, tugging playfully. 
“Okay then, how ‘bout I start?”
“...Alright.” You roll onto your side, propping your chin up with your hand. “Take away then, Levinson. Or do you need me to do a drum roll so – eep!” You let out a squeal when he swats at your hip. 
“Mind the sass, woman.” Ari grunts, although the teasing quirk of his lips makes it known that he’s only joking. 
“Such a Beast.” You stick out your tongue at him, earning yourself another swat from your man. 
“And don’t you forget it.” He reaches out to intertwine his fingers with yours, stroking the pad of his thumb across your palm. “Now, stop trying to make me lose focus while I think of a secret to share.”  
“Oh...we’re telling secrets now, are we?” Well, that certainly upped the stakes a bit. 
“Of course.” Ari presses a swift kiss to your clasped hands. “Nothing too heavy, baby. Just our deepest and darkest.” He winks then, chuckling when you try to pull away. “Hey–I was kidding. C’mere and settle down.”
“Fine.” You blow out a breath as you shift under the blankets. “Let’s hear it then. And you’d better wow me.” You affectionately boop his nose. “I won’t be held responsible for your self-esteem if you bore me to sleep.”
Your bounty hunter sighs before tucking an arm behind his head. He’s quiet for a moment as he mulls over his words. But you don’t make any move to antagonize him further. If he was in the mood to share then who were you to stop him?
“I…had a dog named Bacon growing up.” He muses before clearing his throat. “It, uh, kinda looked like a cross between a Bernese Mountain Dog and Beethoven.”
“The composer or St. Bernard?” You tease, lightly poking him the ribs.
“St. Bernard. Forgot the name ‘til just now.” 
“Well, that must have been interesting. Never heard of that mix before.” You tell him truthfully, suddenly confused when you feel him tense beneath you. 
“He was three hundred pounds with a white lightning bolt that streaked across his left hip.” 
Now, that part of his admission gives you serious pause. You pull back, cocking your head to the side as you wait for him to continue. 
“Sometimes he talked. Fella had the coolest British accent.” Ari stares up at the ceiling, his eyes glazing over as he watches the fan overhead go round and round. “Although he didn’t eat much considering his size.”
“Ari…” What in the ever loving canine capers was he talking about?
“It’s funny…” He chuckles, his big body vibrating with mirth. “Because his favorite foods were chocolate cake, brussel sprouts, and green peas. Now, I love the first one but can’t rightfully stand the other two. And I know they say about dogs and chocolate…”
“...Makes them sick.” You mumble, wondering where he was headed with this bizarre fever dream of a recollection.
“But Bacon loved it.” He continues, almost as if you hadn’t spoken. “He and I went on so many amazing adventures. Best imaginary dog a boy could ever have.”
“I’m sorry.” You wheeze as you let out the puff of air you’d been holding without realizing it. “What?”
“He wasn’t real, Bird. But he was the closest thing I ever got to an imaginary friend. Or a pet for that matter.” Ari flashes you a toothy grin. “Ma didn’t mind too much because it meant I stopped pestering her about adopting every stray mutt we saw wandering down the side of the road.”
“But you said…wait…” You felt like you were about to short circuit. 
“Baby.” Your man’s face is serious as he leans over to cup your jaw, his thumb tracing the apple of your cheek. “Dogs don’t talk. I mean, not with words anyway. And definitely not with British accents. Be sure to make that note when you’re writing about this in your diary tonight.” 
“Oh, screw you!” A laugh bursts from his chest when you push him away. The smug bastard clearly thought he was funny. “For your information, I thought you might’ve suffered some kind psychotic break. Asshole.” Balling up your fist, you land a solid blow to his kidney. 
“I’m sorry, darlin’.” Ari coos once his laughter finally fades. “We moved around a lot when I was a kid. Me, my Ma, and my two sisters. Never stayed in one place for too long. Things tended to get pretty lonely at times, so I made up Bacon to cope.”
His voice dips as he moves closer so that he can rest his forehead against yours. “I haven’t spoken to anyone about my buddy, B, in damn near twenty years, save for you. Is that okay?”
And just like that you can practically feel your heart melting. 
You swallow thickly as you break away, giving yourself time to respond. “It is. Thank you for sharing with me.” Ari gives you a cursory nod which also signals that it’s now your turn. Great.
“I…might’ve been a bit of a firebug growing up.” A shiver courses through you, which is odd considering the fact that you’re not the least bit cold. “Something about the way the flames danced and all that.”
“Is that right?” His tone lets you know that he’s intrigued. 
“Yep.” The word flops out of your mouth. “God, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this. You might arrest me.” You cover your face with your hands before peeking at him from between your fingers. “Can I please have a minute to google the statute of limitations for the State of Texas?”
The lawman’s unexpected snort has you giggling. “From here on out, anything you share with me while I’ve got you naked in my bed will be considered off the record.”
“Okay, well – wait.” You cast him a suspicious glance, your face still partially obscured. “You promise?”
Grinning, Ari surprises you by holding up his hand and offering you his pinky finger. “I have a five-year-old niece who assures me these kinds of agreements are legally binding.”
“Alright.” Biting the inside of your cheek, you find yourself reaching out to wrap your corresponding digit around his. “But just to be safe, let me see you cross your heart.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He gives a rueful shake of his head before complying. “But I draw the line at sticking a needle in my eye.” 
“Duly noted.” Needing to stretch your languid muscles, you decide to take a second to arch your back, revealing bare breasts to Ari’s gaze. And while he doesn’t say anything, you can’t help but notice how his wandering fingers appear all too eager to pull it down even further until it’s draped across your hips. 
“I’m still listening.” Ari assures you even as his pink tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Just didn’t want you to overheat.” 
“How thoughtful of you.” You respond, rolling your eyes. Thankfully, he doesn’t appear to notice since he’s too busy tracing abstract designs along your pouting nipples. “Shall I continue?”
“Please do.” He rasps as his pupils dilate with desire.
“As I was saying, I used to be a bit of a firebug. And I…” You’re forced to bat his hands away so that you can attempt to concentrate on your story. “Well, one time a couple of us kids got our hands on some industrial grade firecrackers. The “good shit” as they say. This boy - Curtis – he bought ‘em from his cousin, Rudy. He claimed they fell off a truck on its way to Dallas.”
“Curtis. Rudy. Dallas. Got it.” A stubborn Ari goes back to toying with your breast. “Feel free to keep going.”
“I mean it, Ari. These weren’t just any ordinary firecrackers we’re talking about.” Your eyes go big as the memory overtakes you. “These were special. The name on the box read The Devil’s Anus.” 
Ari whistles low, the unusually graphic name briefly jolting him out of his reverie. “Well, that certainly paints an image.”
“Uh huh. I can still see that box like it happened yesterday. And for all the trouble it caused, it definitely was a product of Satan. Anyway, me and some of the neighborhood kids thought it would be a good idea to sneak out in the middle of night to set ‘em off. So we rode our bikes to this field on the outskirts of town to put on a little show. Mind you, this was right after the Fourth of July.”
“Mmhm.” Now his fingers have moved to fiddle with the edge of the sheet. Knowing him, he was probably seconds from kicking it off the bed. He didn’t like keeping your naked body hidden for too long. 
“Ari, would you quit it?” Again you try to fend him off, and again it does almost nothing. “Anyway, I always carried matches with me for moments like that. And so we start lettin’ ‘em fly one by one. And it was flippin’ awesome, you hear me? But they were also really, really loud too.”
“Suppose I’ll have to take your word for it, my little pyro.” 
“Well, none of us had really accounted for the noise. And not only that, but those things shoot far. One went rogue and we ended up losing sight of it behind this abandoned barn across the clearing and…” A loaded sigh escapes your lips. “The next thing we knew, the whole thing went up in flames.���
“Holy shit.” Ari blinks, now fully invested in your tale one more. “What’d you do?”
“It all happened so fast. We turned tail and raced back to town. Peddled our bikes home as fast as we could, ducking in the bushes whenever the police or the fire department whizzed by. God, I was terrified. I mean, thankfully they were able to extinguish the fire before it did too much damage but…” You trail off, allowing your bounty hunter to fill in the blanks for himself.
“I’m, uh…I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that the perpetrators were never apprehended?” Ari quirks one tawny brow as he watches your teeth begin to worry your bottom lip.
“Correct. And I prayed every night for three months straight, hoping against hope that it would stay that way. God did his part and in exchange for His grace, I never touched another match ever again. To this day, I even get nervous lighting the occasional candle.”
Finished, you give into the temptation to bury your face in his chest while you wait for him to say something – anything – about your revelation. You’d never told a soul about what happened that night. You and your little crew had sworn to go to your graves with the knowledge you’d almost started what could’ve easily turned into a pretty devastating fire. 
People went to jail for that shit.
“Say something already.” You eventually whine, hating the sound of silence the longer it lasts. “Please, Beast.”
“It’s just…” You feel a hand come to rest on your lower back. “After all this time, it’s just wild to know I’ve been sleeping with a fugitive from justice.”
Your head snaps up as you watch him snicker, your eyes narrowing into menacing slits. “You had better not breathe a word of this to anyone or I will end you.” You grip his face, squishing it between your fingers. “Just because we’re a couple hundred miles out from the ocean doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself at the bottom of it. Are we clear?” 
“Crystal.” He confirms through pursed lips. 
“Thank you.” Comes your demure reply, which has you sounding every inch the southern belle. And then you release him, all the while struggling not to react at the way he dramatically wiggles his jaw. 
“Never been more turned on in my life.” Ari growls as he palms his growing erection through the thin sheet. “I’m not usually the type to get my rocks off at the threat of bodily harm but…I just might have to let you tie me up one of these days.”
Immediately your eyes light up at the prospect of your bounty hunter finally letting you be in charge. Your gaze flits towards the direction of his pants, wondering if he maybe had his cuffs stuffed in one of his back pockets. 
You knew without a doubt that you could have a lot of fun with those shiny metal restraints he seemed to cherish so much.
“That was a maybe.” The man at your side is quick to amend. “So don’t you go getting any ideas just yet.” His imperious tone has you pouting before he’s even finished his sentence. 
“Hmph.” You cross your arms over your chest, purposely pushing up your breasts. “Then I guess I’m done sharing.”
“Aww, c’mon now, Duchess. Don’t go cold on me.” Ari nuzzles his face in the crook of your neck, his freshly trimmed beard tickling the skin along your pulse point.
“Nope. I’m done and – ooh!” You cry out when he repositions himself so that he can pull one of your nipples into his mouth, his warm tongue expertly swirling over the pebbled tip. He sucks hard, moaning against your flesh. 
“But I’ve still got lots more secrets to tell.” He purrs, his hand creeping between your bodies in search of something a little more…delicate. His favorite part of you that he claimed was always so soft and sweet. 
“Well, I suppose that’s just t–too bad.” You croak out when his skilled fingers make contact with your slippery folds, causing your hips to arch. “I’m not interested.”
“Liar.” Ari teases, shifting his big body so that he can focus on your sensitive clit. “I’ve never let a woman tie me up before. So maybe give me a little time to warm up to the prospect of restraints. It might even help if you let me do the honors first, hm?”
“Then go get them.” You hiss, nipping at his jaw. 
“When I’m good and damned ready.” He snarls back before slanting his mouth over yours, his tongue sweeping its way past your lips to duel with your own. “Fucking brat.” Ari takes his time exploring every inch, every corner. And when he feels your body go lax in submission, he knows he finally has you exactly where he wants you. 
Or so he thinks anyway.
“So what if I am?” You cup his face with your hands, drawing him even closer so that he’s on top of you. Not wanting to be without him for even a second longer. “You like it.” You allow your teeth to graze over his plump bottom lip. Once. Twice. Sucking it into your mouth before releasing it with a slight pop.     
“Maybe I do.” This time his growl rumbles deep in his chest. “But if I ever hear about you playing with firecrackers again, I promise to light your ass up somethin’ pretty.”
“You’re gonna have to catch me first.” Of its own accord, your hand comes down on Ari’s muscled butt with a resounding smack.
“Did you just…spank me?” He asks, surprise evident in his tone.
Oops.
“I did. And I’ll even let you in on a little secret while I’m at it.” You confirm without even a hint of remorse as you reach out to stroke the pads of your fingers along the veined edge of his impressive cock, loving the way he responds to your touch. “I’m probably gonna do it again.”
You offer him an impish grin, which he eagerly returns. “Try it and I’ll see to it that my handprint is permanently tattooed on that sexy ass of yours.”
“But what if I’m still a little tender from earlier?” You try, delighting in the way your gruff bounty hunter switches from faux indignation to genuine concern in less than a heartbeat.    
“Are you?” His nostrils flare as he waits for your answer while his big hands skim their way down your body, checking you over. Looking for any sign that you might need more time before going another round. 
“Not really.” You tell him as you guide him back down to your weeping pussy. “Maybe I just wanted to see what you’d do. See if you’d be okay with taking it easy if that’s what I needed from you.” Your gaze locks with his at that moment, your eyes searching his cerulean depths for any sign of irritation or annoyance – of which you find none. 
“You wanna know a secret, my fierce little Bird?” Ari murmurs, his lips brushing along the shell of your ear. “Let me know when you’re ready.” You shudder when you feel his sharp teeth gently nibble your delicate lobe. 
“I’m ready.” You respond, sounding more than a little breathless. But even so, your hands find their way to the globes of his ass once again, squeezing in warning. 
“I can’t wait for the day when I finally see you wearing nothing but my cuffs. And then I’ll show you just how good it can feel to give yourself to me. But I can sense that we’re not quite there yet, you and I, so – hush and let me finish please.” He pins you with a knowing look when you open your mouth to interrupt. It falls shut without a word. And then Ari moves to straddle your waist before pinning your arms above your head.
“So we’re gonna give it a little more time. Time for me to prove to you that I’m the man you need every day of the goddamned week.” He leans down to capture your lips in a brief, but meaningful kiss. Leaving you stunned.
“But that’s not my secret. At least not really. The real secret is that ever since I laid eyes on you, I've spent almost every damn day whistling love songs like an idiot. Now, I’m gonna be honest. I hated it at first. Because in my experience, it’s kinda difficult to feel like you’re the biggest, baddest motherfucker walking around on two legs if you’re too busy humming "Just My Imagination" under your breath to remember to glare when it's appropriate.”
“I’m so sorry. But for what it’s worth…” You shimmy in his hold, loving the hungry look that swiftly flits across his handsome features. “Assuming that I’m allowed to speak now, that is.”
“Be my guest, brat.” 
“For what it’s worth…I might have a whole playlist dedicated to your overbearing ass.” You feel your cheeks heat. But you’re not embarrassed by your admission. If Ari could be vulnerable, then perhaps you could too. “One that I may or may not listen to on my way to and from the shop every day.”
Ari swallows the lump in throat, his entire body momentarily overcome with emotion. You really have no idea how happy you just made him.
“You still thinking about flying away on me, Bird?” He asks, shifting his grip on your wrists so that grab a hold of your chin.
“Falling for you is more like it.” Your spoken secret comes out barely above a whisper. “But don’t let that go to your head or anything.” 
Because you still weren’t quite sure if you were prepared to survive the landing. Only time would tell.
“Wouldn’t dream of it, sweetheart.” He smiles down at you, his eyes brimming with affection. “But…if you ever feel yourself falling too fast…can you at least promise to let me catch you?”
A beat goes by before you hold up your pinky finger, which he readily locks with his own. It makes your heart melt all over again. 
“You’ve got yourself a deal, Beast.”
Famous last words. If only you’d known what Fate had in store for you, then perhaps you would’ve made a promise that was easier to keep. Because you’d never been the type to gamble on anything or anyone. Not men. Not love. Because you’d already learned the hard way that that kind of shit was never a sure thing. But heartbreak…
Now that one always seemed to be waiting for you just around the corner no matter where you looked. And deep down, you were convinced that it was only a matter of time before it found you again.  
 END   
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