#does not get old
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prlssprfctn · 3 months ago
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Batsiblings convince Jason to get himself a cooking Tiktok account, and he gives in. To his surprise, he quickly gains millions of followers and a loyal auditory. The only problem? Jason has no idea that these people came here not necessary for recipes.
Jason: Geez, my followers had been pissing me off lately.
Dick, confused: Huh? Why?
Jason: They keep commenting ATE. Like, dude? Fucking where? I am not eating in my cooking videos. What is the fucking point?
Tim, choking: Oh my fucking God-
Jason, making an angry text post for his followers: YOU ALL. STOP COMMENTING "RAW". MY MEAT IS NOT RAW. I AM A PROPER COOK. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???
Cassandra: Maybe it is time to tell him...
Tim, Steph, Duke, in unison: NO
Bruce, awkwardly trying to have a conversation with Jason: Hey, lad, how is your cooking blog is going?
Jason: Uh, people keep commenting cryptid messages. Like, the last time I was showing the right way to tenderise meat for chops because apparently it wasn't clear and someone requested the whole video? Anyway, I did it, and the whole comment section was writing me "in bed, on the floor, on the couch, on a chair, against the wall, against the window, against the door"... Like, why would I do that, not in the kitchen?
Bruce, no less clueless: Maybe it some kind of challenge. Kids love trying new stuff in extreme places nowadays.
Jason: Huh. Maybe. Thanks.
Bruce, just proud to have a proper conversation and somehow a help: Anytime, Jaylad!
Damian, who was unblissfully educated on the slang matter by Tim (because it was his responsibility as a big brother to traumatise him), with his eye twitching: ...None of these words were in Quran
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kitschky · 5 months ago
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if i got a single office music dance experience my suffering at work would all be worth it !! (everyone go watch severance now, for me, your comrade)
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keferon · 5 months ago
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Don’t mind me I just like to see him go bananas about cartoonish Autobot rules
Maaan…..if Prowl was in tfp he would spontaneously combust at least once a day
#maccadam#transformers#prowl#tf prowl#there is no Prowl in Tfp so Optimus can pull all kinds of heroic cartoonish bullshit#and only Ratchet actually calls him out on it#but Ratchet also kinda has soft spot for Optimus#Op does sad eyes and Ratchet is like okay okay sorry I understand#Prowl would see the whole situation and lose his marbles immediately ahahahah#lol hey hey you. two people who read tags. imagine little au realquick#Autobots find the escape pod with Smokescreen right#but there’s two bots instead of one#back on the base humans look at the new guys and like#Smokey is fun and energetic and eager for heroism and adventure#and then there’s Prowl. The final boss. The ultimate MOM.#He makes one step into base and immediately starts scolding Optimus and everyone except for Ratchet#agent Fowler listens to him talking and decides that Prowl is his favorite autobot#damn. Prowl would SO not approve keeping humans around. Kids would hate him#but also he would be completely right. Because by keeping humans that close Autobots basically show that the humans can be used as leverage#against them you know.#He would immediately suggest getting rid of kids and hiring actual competent adults instead. So all hacking can be done by professionals#and all infiltrating can be done by people who are at least old enough to drink you know#yea kids would haaaate him so much#he would also build make all kinds of little annoying gadgets bc I have read Covenant of Primus and tfp Prowl is smart like that#he would be going around sticking trackers on every enemy he fights#and then triangulating Cons positions by the coordinates where their signals stop tracking#bc Nemesis blocks them#He would also keep sending Smokey to ghost through walls and steal all kinds of valuable shit from Megsy#they would be such a menace together#man this is getting kinda long I should probably stop
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max-headroomfiles · 1 year ago
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"Yeah I love the ghoul boys"
The ghoul boys:
i love ryan and shane
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electrikorg · 6 months ago
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always have many thoughts about pre-gorillaz stuart, the most average british lad there is. (2D with eyes jumpscare)
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clumsypuppy · 2 months ago
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eos pt. 1
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siriuslylantsov · 2 months ago
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spencer starts trying to tone down his rambling in the workplace in efforts to look more professional
but he can't just not go down a rabbithole when he starts thinking
so he starts sending you voicemails whenever he feels the urge to start chattering
literally 3-5 minutes of a windy did you know ramble
then it's see you tonight :) and he hangs up
“hey, angel.” 
his voice rings out through your phone's speaker. you can almost see him as he speaks–his hand shielding the mic to eliminate any external noise while he frantically explains whatever's on his mind today.
you set your phone up nearby, turning the volume up enough so you can hear it while you go about your menial tasks of brushing your teeth and making the bed.
you opt for his voice instead of your playlist during your commute to work—softer now, a quiet murmur through your headphones. you can hear the hum of the jet, the muffled conversation from his team, followed by a sharp reid that brings his ramblings to a screeching halt, promising to continue in the next one. (he does, picking up exactly where he left off.)
the messages accumulate throughout the day, filling your inbox. you should be more worried about the capacity and the possibility that you might miss messages from other people, but he's the only one who ever leaves you any. who even uses voicemail anymore?
they become your personal podcast, taking up far too much storage on your phone. you’ve saved every single one. they help when he's away and you miss him. you replay them more than you’d like to admit–you’ve nearly got them all memorised.
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superbat-lmao · 2 months ago
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Before Jason makes his debut as Red Hood, he goes apartment hunting.
And the thing about Gotham is, all of the apartments that would make for good safe houses, are safe houses. The Bat’s safe houses. If Jason wants to set up shop, he’s got to get creative. This means being willing to look the other way about some things. Namely, living with other people.
Jason gets a roommate.
Sure, he’d found a couple of spots that fit some of the criteria he used for making safe houses, but not all apartments were equal. And having a semi-functioning civilian cover was useful. Sometimes.
All this to say that Jason responded to a craigslist post of some guy looking for a roommate. The post was written well enough, decent grammar and a fair enough price. Unlike some of the places he’d “toured.”
He has to trudge up a few flights of stairs to get to the place, because roof access is always high on the priority list, and knocks on the door. He waits a few minutes, hears someone check the peephole, and then the sound of at least five separate locks being undone.
With the door finally open, he gets a good look at the guy’s face. Too good of a look, actually.
Because the man who opens it is Dick Grayson.
#jason todd#dick grayson#red hood#nightwing#batman#does dick recognize him? either way hijinks ensue#jason and dick as roommates both trying to live cheap af vigilante lifestyles without taking bruce’s money#dick’s undercover on a long op with bruce and needs a trackable identity to convince whoever to recruit him#jason doesn’t know this. what he does know is that dick lives off cereal and dirty socks and he refuses to live like this#dick thinks it’s either a coincidence his roommate looks/acts like his dead brother or that he’s been made and someone is trying to prove#he’s a wayne to blow his cover. lex is high on his list for his ability to make clones. jason honestly can’t tell if dick thinks it’s him#and tries to hide that he’s back. both of them are in subtly trying to get the other to admit something#all it takes is one old nickname slip up and the cats outta the bag#also angst because dick convinces jason he was missed and he tried to avenge him when he realizes he’s not a clone#i think these two would be hilarious roommates. does the pit make an appearance at all?#maybe someone genuinely tries to break into their shitty apartment and jason breaks the guys arm because he sees someone enter dick’s room#that isn’t his brother. they keep odd hours and jason is trying to build his criminal empire.#at least one of them comes back beaten up and needs stitches. where they’re in the kitchen fixing the other up while they both ignore#they’ve figured the other out. it comes to a head when they’re both out and nightwing needs to be brought back to the cave#so hood goes on their comms and summons the batclan to come get him.#also ft. jason’s ptsd ridden ass and nightwing’s stellar comedy#batsiblings#batbros#batfamily
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liquidstar · 2 years ago
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stim toys for old greek men ^
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breesperez139 · 1 year ago
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Dc x Dp Prompt #6
“I’m a twin”, Damian said one night. He could feel the narrowed eyes of his family drilling holes on his back in disbelief. Not that he could blame them. Damian had never so much as implied being raised with a companion, much less a sibling.
“I had a brother”. Damian paused to recollect himself. He had not said his brother’s name out loud in over 8 years.
“His name was… Danyal”. Damian hated the way his voice wavered, but he could not help it. Danyal was everything to him, his other half. Their heart beat as one and when one heart stopped beating, the other one died with it. At least until his family put his heart on metaphorical life support without ever realizing.
“Where is he now?” His father asked, voice filled with knowing grief and a hint of betrayal. It had in fact been 6 years since Damian first showed up on his doorstep.
“Up there”. All eyes shifted towards the specific star he was pointing to. “Right before he died, he promised me he’d guide me from the stars. Unfortunately, the stars are not visible in Gotham, so my brother is unable to be of much help unless I leave the city.”
“Your brother is Polaris, the North Star?” Tim questioned warily, most likely in attempts to not offend him. Damian was aware of how stupid it sounded, but Danyal had promised, and his brother never broke his promises.
“Yes. Danyal is with the stars now, just as he always wanted”
#dc x dp#dp x dc#dpxdc fanfic#dc x dp prompt#dp x dc prompt#dc x dp crossover#dp x dc crossover#ghost king danny#demon twin au#danyal al ghul#batpham#they are not in Gotham at the time of this conversation#I’m thinking they’re visiting the Kent’s on their farm but tbh as long as the stars are visible it can be anywhere#Danny did in fact reincarnate as Polaris#sort of#Polaris is more of a title the Realms gave him the day he was crowned#he is the star meant to guide them through a new era#or something like that#But Damian does look up at the stars for guidance whenever he sees them#and before he knows it he’s accidentally begun praying to Danny#it’s his coping mechanism for being unable to speak about him to anyone#but back to Danny - he regained the memories of his time as Danyal Al Ghul when he died in that portal and became a halfa#well it was more he regained the memories of ALL his previous lives but his most recent one holds a special place in his heart#if only because he knows his brother is still alive on whatever earth he was born on#as bad as it sounds Danny can’t wait until he gets to reunite with Damian#he hopes Damian forgives him for not guiding him though#fun fact! Danny was once known as the god Dan-El in one of his previous lives#he’s ALSO the reincarnation of the Greek Titan Astraeus (and he’s pretty sure Dani is his daughter Astraea)#his previous lives are all so interesting (he still can’t believe he was raised an assassin or that he was a god in multiple lives)#but in all honesty ​it’s even weirder feeling so old and so young at the same time
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yhwcomeback · 4 months ago
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Redraw of my old master Lloyd drawing... I miss him so much :( Old drawing:
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razzafrazzle · 2 years ago
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i was obsessed with them when i was 8 and i am still obsessed with them now
[image description: a page of drawings of marceline and simon from adventure time. on the left is marcy wearing a white cropped sweater, a short black skirt, red tights, black fingerless gloves, and black boots. there is a caption that says "Average Bisexual" next to her. next to that is a short comic of marcy and simon, where marcy is floating over simon as he reads a book. marcy asks, "hey simon. ever kiss another man before?", to which simon replies "well sure." below them there is a caption that says, "he then failed to elaborate." next to that is a drawing of simon with his hands clasped together, with a smaller, uncolored sketch of simon looking surprised above him. the entire page is colored in a watercolor style. end id]
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on-the-clear-blue · 5 months ago
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So yall know that the League of Assassin's are like, an eco terrorist thing right? Well I just had this idea.
Sam, coming into Danny's room and just face planting on his bed: Ugh...
Danny, who was sleeping, awoken as his friend who had gone missing 6 moths ago flopped onto of him: OH SWEET-NOCTURN IF THIS ISNT REAL I AM GONING TO SOUP YOY SO HARD...
Sam, reaching up and slapping her hand on his mouth:Shhh, less screaming, more sleeping, escaping murder cults takes more energy than I thought.
Sam produces to pass out and sleep for three days straight.
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Tucker, lookingnup from his PDA: so...you joined what you thought was a peaceful protest and some how ended up in a eco terrorist death cult of assassins? I mean...shit now I have to do something interesting...
Danny, choking on his drink: Nuh uh, your the normal one Tuck, I died and now have a magical girl transformation and Sam got kidnapped by ninjas and somehow even more bad ass, you...you can still get out of this and just be a normal person.
Sam, nodding sadly: Yeah...don't conform to our standards Tucker, be your true, weak little boney self.
Tucker, sniffing:I am so going to not do that.
---
Just the idea that Sam not only got League training but also got out is hilarious to me, like yeah, that is the kinda bs that would happen.
Alsoni can just see her dropping random lore shit.
Sam, bored as the boys study: Did you know thst the Demon Head dunks himself in corrupted ecto? Yeah it's gnarly man, didn't taste good.
Danny, going to speak before pausing and thinking, before sighing:Yeah I would have licked it too.
Tucker, frowning as he finishes his "Evil invention-enator": You both have so many issues.
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Sam, trying to teach Danny the basic league hand to hand:Come on dude! It's not that hard!
Danny, falling flat on his ass after not even touching Sam: Ow ow ow...fuck yeah it kinda is!
Sam, rolling her eyes: If not only the Demon Heads six year old grandson can learn but also Ellie? You can too.
Danny, mutterinf under his breath before pausing completely:ELLIE? What was she doing with a murder cult? I thought she learnt her lesson after the last one!
Sam, shrugging before putting kicking at Danny on the floor: I don't know she was following a guy around who was catatonic, said something about being angry at him for not answering her pen pal messages or whatever, I was more busy training to really care...like you should be doing!
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Years later Sam is joining Danny and Tucker in Gotham, Tucker because he was scouted by both WE and Lexcorp, he wanted to choose the evil company because poorer work place regulations and the likely hood of him getting a powerbost was much higher, but was bullied by his friends/partners into choosing WE.
Sam, coming to the R&D labs late one night bringing Tucker dinner so he doesn't starve working a late shift, blinking as she sees a short boy sneaking out of the lab: Biraeam? (Sprout in Arabic) what are you doing here.
Damian, blinking right back, experimental tech Bruce has yet to clear for the field clutched under one arm and the blueprints for a new type of explosive batarang in the other: Manson...I-I could ask you the same.
Sam, raising an eyebrow and staring down Damian: bringing dinner to my husband...who works here...and I can only think that you do not. So I ask that you put those things you have down and tell your bastard of a grandfather not to step back in this place.
Damian, eyes squinting, he hadn't been around his grandfather for ages at this point but still felt offended at her tone: I don't think I will.
---
An epic fight produces where they both try not and spill/destroy the things that they are carrying until either Tucker or Tim find them and explain everything.
The everlasting Trio gets invited over for dinner (mostly because Bruce is a paranoid bastard and dislikes thst one of his employees is dateing/ is partners with an ex-LoA member) and it's a bit of just pointing at each other and shit
Sam, slamming her hands down on the table as she stands: Kindly Mr Wanye, Shut the fuck up, I know your batman, we all fucking know it so if you are going to try and interrogate us at least do it properly!
Danny, sipping his wine: I mean...I-I didn't know but I um...haven't been paying much attention to the bat dude...Rag man is cooler.
Sam, glaring:And you! Fucking Ragman? You can do so much better.
Danny, offended for his hero: Oi! He does good work!
Bruce, frowning as this night has gotten away from him: He kills people.
Sam, waving over at Bruce: Exactly!
Danny, rolling his eyes: Exactly she says, while having a kill count that's still growing, Exactly she says when she was the one that pushed that oil tycoon off the 50th floor.
Sam wincing,: Maybe not in front of batman babe?
Danny, looking over to Bruce that is looking ready to fight: Shit...imma call Tuck and tell him to start packing...
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teratomatica · 3 months ago
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you always land on all fours
#umineko#umineko spoilers#ikuko hachijo#ikukos turn for a more serious piece... the old man has reigned for too long#now. INCREDIBLY LONG INCOHERENT TAGS RANT INCOMING FAIR WARNING HAS BEEN GIVEN:#it makes me so so sad how little discussion there is about specifically ikuko because imho she fits so neatly into a lot of the more#overarching Big Themes of the game in a way that i have not ever really seen people take notice of or point out in a meaningful way#like even just off of the top of my head. the significance of names and what it means to go by a name that's Not Yours (she has like 4+)#what it Means to be a witch how it represents a person's deepest insecurities and flaws & how its at its core a coping mechanism#the fact that it takes two to create a universe and trying to do it on your own anyways has the capacity to bring you intense misery#^ (how she's shown to be extremely dismissive of her own work and skill until a collaborator comes into her life and helps/encourages her)#and even the family/patriarchy/misogyny stuff that is so prevalent in the rest of the game comes back around to her. even her Only Friend#(young&stupid atp to be fair) remarks that shes Weird for being unmarried + the little she does say about her past invites the question of#to what extent her self-image stems from her family deeming her a freak outcast & effectively disowning her while celebrating her brothers#and i have lot in my mind about the witch thing specifically because i think her particular situation is very reflective of what umineko's#entire magic system and fantasy facet as a whole is meant to represent for an individual. from what little we see of (what is presumably)#her Real personality she is shown to be deeply self conscious in a way that is JARRINGLY diametrically opposed to both 1.) what we see in#featherine and 2.) what we see when she is acting as a Public Figure. because both of the above are very much purposeful acts that she is#putting on in order to obfuscate her true self. and i have always been very resolute & adamant about not totally equating her to featherine#not only because im very firmly in the camp of “featherine is the avatar of the Pen Name & tohya is part of her too” but also very much b/c#i feel very strongly that the stark differences between the two are very centrally relevant to her character & her psyche. as is the case#with most other witches featherine's personality traits serve to reveal/magnify a lot of ikukos inner workings by playing on her#insecurities/reversing them e.g. ikuko being very quick to downplay her skill/achievements becomes featherine being the COMPLETE opposite#to the point where she barely registers even other witches as living beings rather than just fun touys. BUT even though i do champion the#ikuko/featherine separation so hard i ALSO think it is purposefully relevant that at first glance the line between them seems so blurry#her introduction implying a more nebulous separation between her reality/fantasy counterpart is i think is an intentional move on her part#like it is part of the front she is putting up when acting as the Author. as opposed to Ikuko the person who we (in a way ironically very#similar to the way that the Real Battler is presumably only shown during the boatscene) only very briefly get to see take up screentime#which even on a meta level lines up very well with her apparent underlying nature as a like. extremely private largely reserved/shy person#hit tag limit but if by some miracle anyone is still reading this thank you... please see ikuko with the love she deserves... ok ily byeee
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kiivg · 6 months ago
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.i am once again kissing davrin <3.
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m00nbuggies · 6 months ago
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oh look guys its college civilization
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