#especially for the flamethrower and his gun

[koipalm]

stranded au- spring to summer

[confused-wanderer]

Batman and superman are their opposite personalities in civilian form.

.. so this gives us a perfect opportunity for the most disastrously chaotic dynamic (and love square) EVER.

ESPECIALLY if they don’t know the others true identities, or even they did and are just being lil shits anyways

Give me:

grumpy skeptical Clark to Bruce’s sunshine playboy persona.

Clark *trying to down as many aspirins as he can, half tempted to throw himself into the sun* : Bruce we needed to surround the enemy, not SEDUCE them!

Bruce *currently on his way to a dinner wearing the most seductive outfit known to man* : Well, you know the saying. We can’t gatekeep or manslaughter our way out of it. Girlboss it is.

Clark: Bruce you are going on a date with a STRAIGHT MAN

Bruce: Give me five minutes and then I’ll let you hear him scream my name

*horrified Clark noises*

==================================

Brooding and detective Batman meeting lie-detector and very effective investigator journalist Clark Kent

Batman: Tell me where the bombs are Riddler!

Riddler *currently tied up* : Hehe you’ll never find them~

Clark: Mind if I record this session Mr. Riddler?

Batman:

Riddler:

Clark:

Riddler: Who the hell-

Batman: .. Kent. How’d you even get here?

Clark: Irrelevant questions. *waves recorder* so..?

Riddler: Sure..tell the public I’m going to paint the walls red-

Clark *in investigative journalist mode* : So which devastating rock bottom led you to lose your mind and pursue this as a career?

Riddler:

Riddler: hey wait hang on this is a fulfilling career!

Clark *raising a judgemental eyebrow*: So.. you fighting a man dressed as a bat, with that atrocious outfit you must’ve gotten from hell and riddles that you’ll give him the answer to anyway.. this is fulfilling?

Riddler *voice breaking* : .. yes?

*questioning and judgemental silence*

Few hours later

Red Robin: .. why is Riddler crying and why does he also have a career counselling book in his hand?

Batman *just as surprised and kind of disturbed at how methodical and impressive Clark was in breaking down Riddlers plan based on evidence and connecting the dots* : Honestly I thought he was here for me and he started ignoring me so out of concern for his safety I demanded he paid attention

Red robin: And?

Batman: and he said “oh you don’t want me to pay attention to you” and showed me.. a lot of details and screenshots I don’t know how he got his hands on

Red robin:

Batman: Riddler also then attempted to escape and Clark just.. punched him so hard Riddler still doesn’t know which universe he’s in..

Red robin: well it could’ve been worse.. Clark could’ve pulled out a gun

Batman: .. he has a flamethrower

Red Robin: IM SORRY WHAT

Batman: .. and he told me we should work together sometimes, and I gave him few crime stories and plots to help raise awareness for the public and stop them.

Red robin:

Batman: also he gave me a therapy card.

=========

Give me ray of sunshine and leader Superman with no sense of self preservation Bruce Wayne

Superman: Good evening Mr. Wayne, there’s a credible threat against you so I’ll be on the lookout for today-

Bruce *sidling upto him* : .. damn.. when I said send your hottest stripper you did deliver..

Superman *beet red* : Im not the stripper sir!

Bruce: Really?

Superman *furious nodding*

Bruce: okay then.. hey listen, I’ve been learning about important dates in history lately.. do you wanna be one of them?

Superman. Exe has stopped functioning

Later

Superman: Mr. Wayne there’s a blackout and the building is under attack! Evacuate!

Bruce *running with gunshots behind* : Are you outside? You’re invulnerable right? Nothing can hurt you? Not even gunpowder or explosives?!

Superman *touched and pleasantly surprised* : yes.. so you don’t have to worry about me Mr. Wayn-

*glass breaks and Superman catches the dark mass falling in the air*

Superman: See? You’re safe-

*realises he’s holding a huge bomb about to detonate*

One explosion later

Superman: … you threw a bomb at me

Bruce: What?? You said you were invulnerable! I didn’t know what else to do with it??

Superman: So you didn’t think to tell me? Not even a warning?

Bruce: Listen that bomb was hot but compared to how smoking hot you were I didn’t think it ever stood a change

Superman: Mr. Wayne, listen. You should’ve atleast yelled or said something so I could’ve gotten it away in time. What if I hadn’t?

Bruce: I did! I yelled GET READY FOR A BLOWJOB

Superman:

Bruce:

Superman:

Bruce: ?? Did I do something wrong?

========

And obviously.. the usual golden retriever Superman x black cat Batman that we all know and love so I’m just going to leave it at:

Batman: Someone is going to die.

Superman: Of fun!

Batman: Sure if you consider burning to death fun

Superman:

Superman: Oh come on be a little optimistic! We must have hope! We will persevere!

Batman: we are literally being held hostages by aliens

Superman: ..listen okay, let me do the talking. We just gotta de-escalate the situation

Alien: You intruders! You will never get our superior defender systems-

Batman *done with this bullshit* : I already hacked into it twenty days ago and found all of your identities, families and now have full control over your systems of defends and weapons. If I wanted to hurt somebody.. I would’ve done so already.

Alien *tries to punch him, gets headbutted instead*

Alien *chuckles* : You have a thick skull Batman..

Batman:

Superman *frantic whispering*: Dontsayitdontsayitdontsayitdontsayit-

Batman: .. atleast mines protecting a brain. Wish I could say the same for yours

Superman *heavy sigh*

[soullumii]

masked up | joel miller x f!reader

pairing: joel miller x fem!afab!reader

summary: joel fucks you while wearing his gas mask

warnings/tags: 18+ content MDNI, very self indulgent smut (unprotected piv oops, mask kink 🤭, vaginal fingering, riding joel cowgirl because that is for sure his fav position, little bit of a bulge kink, oral [m receiving]) descriptions of blood and violence, established relationship (married!! whoop whoop!!), making joel call you “my wife” because i’m weak for that shit, soft!joel, protective!joel, this got sappy, pet names galore as usual, NO USE OF Y/N

word count: 4.2k

a/n: i can’t explain how i feel about joel wearing a gas mask. i swear every time he put it on while i was playing tlou pt 1 i moaned /hj. just HEAR ME OUT PLEEK. JUST WATCH THIS (it’s a tiktok edit) OK YOULL UNDERSTAND.

You don’t mean for the mask to become a thing.

But it does. It becomes a Thing™.

It all starts and ends with Joel, like good and bad things usually do. And this thing is no exception.

But it all begins with something bad.

Coming across spores nowadays is few and far between for you. You're not usually on patrol much, your job being to tend to the crops in the greenhouse and feed the livestock. 

Today, though, you’re not so lucky. With Tommy out sick, you’re filling in for him. Thankfully, though, you’re paired with Joel, your very lovely and very experienced in the art of dealing with infected, husband. So you know if you come across spores, your husband will have your back. 

Spores are annoying, but they're manageable with gas masks. When you and Joel enter an abandoned office building on a new patrol route and you catch sight of the little specks floating through the air, you immediately put yours on, Joel doing just the same. 

The floaty fungal fuckers themselves aren't scary, especially not when you have the gas masks to keep you safe. It's just what waits in the shadows that scares you, because where there are spores, there's infected. Lots of them. 

And usually interspersed in that conglomerate of stalkers and clickers are the big, meaty ones. The kind that have been sitting and festering for years. The kind that could literally rip you into pieces, regardless if you have a gas mask on or not. Bloaters, yeah, those big shits. The fucking bane of your existence.

Unfortunately, the one lazing around in this abandoned office building must somehow pick up on your undying hate for them because within minutes of you and Joel looting the place for all it’s worth, it comes clambering out of what used to be a conference room.

It's a big one. Noticeably disgusting, outrageously hideous, growling and slobbering as it slings mycotoxin at you. It's not very fast, and yet it's so fucking terrifying as it lumbers after you, because you know exactly what it’s capable of. 

You're shooting at it with whatever arrows you have left in your backpack (though they’re mostly just bouncing off it’s thick fungal exterior), and Joel's crunching out shot after shot with his shotgun, but neither of you are hardly making a dent.

God, you wish Joel had brought the flamethrower he keeps in his storage room. You’d make a Molotov cocktail, but with the other infected hot on your heels, there's no time. 

A stalker comes crawling out of the shadows behind you, knocking over an office chair in the process, and you whip around to lodge an arrow right between its eyes. Two more come swinging out of nowhere, and you're so focused on trying to get rid of them so that they can't reach you—can't reach Joel—that you don't realize you've left your back unattended until a large, gross excuse for a hand lands hard on your shoulder, lugging you backwards with inhuman strength. 

Joel shouts your name with increased panic, and you hear his gun fire off more rounds into the bloater's back, but it doesn't care, it's hands finding your head and jaw, gripping you so tight you think it might shatter your mandible.

"Joel!" You scream, eyes squeezing shut as the pain in your jaw multiplies.

This motherfucker is about to rip you clean in half—

You think this is it, I'm about to die in front of my husband by being torn from the jaw down, but, thankfully, death never comes. Instead, the bloater releases you with a pained roar as the sound of squelching fills your ears. You manage to back away enough to watch Joel tug the bloater off of you by the handle of his machete, the blade lodged in its chest. 

He pulls the machete out only to swing it down in an arc straight into its head, repeatedly. Blood splatters all over him as he bludgeons the wretched thing. Over his veiny arms, his black mask. It sinks into the fabric of his flannel.

And funnily enough, this is when it becomes a thing.

The bloater crumples to the floor with a gurgling groan as it finally dies, and Joel turns to you, chest heaving and eyes wide and panicked. They soften, relieved when he catches sight of you physically intact, though, mentally a bit checked out.

Whether that’s because you’re in shock or because your brain is rewiring as it files this new image of Joel away, who knows? Maybe it's a little bit of both. 

“Are you okay?" Joel asks, sheathing his machete to look you over. His hands catch your jaw gently, a welcome contrast to the bloater. He turns it this way and that, checking for any damage or possible bites.

A traitorous thrumming starts up between your thighs as he stares you down through the lenses of his mask. 

"I'm fine, Joel," you say, breathlessly. "Thanks."

“Thank god,” he squeezes your arm lovingly, grateful to see you in one piece. “Let’s get outta here.”

- - -

"Do you like the masks?" You ask him eventually, when you're back outside, the setting sun warming you pleasantly as the tall borders of Jackson rise in the distance.

You both took the masks off the minute you escaped the spores, but a part of you secretly hoped Joel would keep his on.

Joel scratches at his graying beard. "They keep us safe. Don't feel much for 'em at all really." He glances sidelong at you, a curious quirk to his lips. "Why?"

You shrug, "No reason."

Just trying to figure out if you'd wear it during sex if I asked you to, that's all.

“Alright, somethin's up," Joel says. "You've got the look.” 

“What look?” 

“The sex look.” 

You halt in your hike, turning to narrow your eyes at him. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

Joel fails to stifle a chuckle. “You’re horny. That’s the face you make when you want to have sex. Like you wanna eat me alive.” 

Shit. He’s found you out.

“How would you know?”

He blinks. “Honey, I’m married to ya. Of course I’m gonna know.”

Valid. Still-

"I’m not horny," you try to defend, though you've never been good at lying, and based on the self satisfied smile Joel wears, you know he sees right through you. "We almost died, Joel. Maybe this is my 'loving every minute of my life' look."

"I know that look. This ain't it."

Jesus Christ.

You sigh heavily. “Okay, yes. Maybe I am a little horny.” 

"Because…what? We almost died? That gets you goin'?" 

"No," you grit. You can’t even look at him when you say it. “It’s the mask.”

His brows knit. “The...gas mask?”

You nod tightly. 

“I don’t think I’m followin’,” Joel says. 

Is he seriously asking you to spell it out for him?

You take a deep, steadying breath. You don’t quite know how to phrase this, so you just go for it. “Watching you save my life in the gas mask just sort of woke something up in me. It was hot.” 

“Oh.”

Yup. He definitely thinks you’re crazy.

“So, what, you want me to fuck you while wearin' the mask or somethin’?”

Heat pools heavy and thick between your thighs at his words, your heart hammering behind your ribs. “Something like that, yeah.” 

Joel straightens. “...Okay. I can do that.” 

Your head whips up. “Wait, seriously?”

“You’re my wife. If you asked me to fuck you with a damn jester’s hat on I’d do it.” 

You laugh. “Okay, let’s not go that far.”

“I’d really do it for you.”

“It sounds like you actually want to wear it.”

He chuckles, and you two resume walking back to Jackson. “Alright, so, gas mask on tonight,” he says. “Any other requests?” 

“Since you’re asking…maybe you could wear a cowboy hat sometime…”

- - -

"Jesus, you're really lovin' this," Joel muses.

You're laid out beneath him in your shared bed, his long calloused fingers deep in your cunt, his thumb circling slowly over your clit, drawing out your pleasure, stretching it like taffy. Your jeans are still on, unbuttoned and unzipped, and your soiled underwear is pulled to the side as Joel’s hands unwind you. 

You're grasping onto his muscled forearm for dear life, moans leaking out of you in a steady stream as he fucks his fingers into you, curling up to stroke that spot that has you clenching down hard on his digits as the burning starts in your toes, climbing up your thighs. 

He looks so fucking good with that mask situated over his handsome face, his peppered hair flipping out over the straps that keep it snug on him. His eyes are dark through the lenses as they watch you unravel before him, almost black from how dilated his pupils are.

His jeans are still on, his erection straining hard against his zipper. The flannel he wore earlier is gone, giving you the perfect view of his toned chest and the dark hair that dusts it. There's still some blood stains on his mask. Every time you catch sight of them, your body ignites with something carnal and hungry.

"’Cause, you look hot," you huff between moans. 

Joel laughs, deep and rumbling, and the mask warbles it a bit, adding a distortion to his voice that for some reason makes everything happening so much hotter. “I still don’t really get it, but if it’s makin’ you this wet, I don’t care.”

You moan particularly loud at the sound of his voice muffled through the mask and cant your hips against his hand, the combination of his thumb circling your clit and his fingers fucking up into you has you dangling dangerously close to the edge.

“I-I’m close, Joel.”

His brows furrow behind his mask, and he quirks his fingers inside you even more, and you jolt against his hand. 

“C’mon then, baby. Come for me. Show me how much this pretty pussy loves this mask.”

Fucking shit. When you first met Joel, he hardly spoke a single word, and even when you got him to open up more, he was thoughtful with what he said, chose his words carefully. Unless he was angry, then he could be a bit of an ass.

In bed though? Shit, if you can get him to shut up it’s a damn miracle.

“F-fuck, Joel,” you whine, legs stiffening as your orgasm swells inside you, a match striking, lighting up your viscera as pleasure fast-releases inside your veins. 

“There you go baby, that’s it,” Joel purrs. “So pretty when you come.”

You inhale shakily as the last few shocks fizzle through you, your clit throbbing as you come down from your high.

“Fuck…” you huff, trying to catch your breath.

He strokes your thigh lovingly, and if you could see him behind the mask you’d assume he’s probably wearing that soft smile that he gets sometimes that melts you into a puddle of mushy gushy feelings.

Joel leans back on his knees. “Now it’s time to deliver on that promise,” he says, and your skin tingles at the sound of his zipper. 

“Wait,” you tell him, and he stops, looking at you in concern.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

“No I just…I wanna show you how much this means to me.”

“Me wearin’ this mask? It’s not a big deal-“

You sit up and plant your hands on his chest, pushing him down until his back hits the mattress, effectively shutting him up.

You swing your leg over him, situating yourself right on his lap and peel off your tank, delighting in the way his eyes widen and his hands come down to settle warmly on your thighs. 

The muscles in his arms shift as he squeezes your flesh. The drag of the crotch of his jeans against yours has you biting your lip, a zing of pleasure shooting through you.

Joel’s eyes have darkened behind his mask, his pupils swallowing his irises whole besides the thin circle of hazel remaining at the edges as he watches you.

“I’ve never hated jeans more than I do right now,” he says lowly, his gaze dropping to the rapid rise and fall of your chest.

His strong hands slide up from your thighs to your hips to your waist, his dry, calloused skin causing goosebumps to rise in their wake. Finally, his palms cup your breasts, unrestrained by a bra because they’re too hard to come by in this day and age. 

He squeezes gently, and your nipples tighten beneath his palms. And then he rolls one between his thumb and forefinger, and your back arches, pressing you further into him. Your hips grind down automatically, and Joel releases a hazy moan. 

“Maybe,” you gasp when you roll your hips again, reveling in the delicious friction against your clit. “You should take them off.”

“Yours first.”

You don’t press him on it. You want your jeans off. So you lift yourself off of him and the bed to tug at your zipper, and Joel watches raptly as you pull your skinny jeans down your thighs, kicking them off your ankles.

And then you’re only in your underwear, and you throw your legs astride him again, the cloth of your underwear catching deliciously on the tent in his jeans. Joel’s hands find your body immediately, like a sweet tooth to a chocolate bar. His fingers dig into your flesh, and he grips your thighs, pulling them apart to set you on him fully. A shudder wracks your spine at the feeling of him pressed against your throbbing core.

“Goddamn,” he growls, eyes roving over you hungrily. “So fuckin’ perfect.”

You grind down on the hard outline of his cock, and Joel can’t help his reflexive thrust into you, and you sigh. 

“I need you in me, Joel,” you whisper, leaning forward to plant your hands on his broad chest, your fingers messing with the hair dusting his sternum. “Need your cock filling me up.”

“Christ,” he swears, eyes falling shut as he bucks again. “Need’a be in you, sweetheart.”

His hands find your hips and then your ass, squeezing the muscle cultivated there from twenty years of surviving in an apocalyptic world. 

His fingers dip beneath the waistband of your panties, warm and confident. He lightly rakes his fingernails over your skin, running his calloused fingertips reverently over the stretch marks on your hips. 

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispers through the mask. “Wish I could kiss you.” 

You shiver and your arms loop around his neck. His back is scarred beneath your hands, and you rub gently into the muscle of his traps, causing Joel to release a groan. 

His hand gravitates from your hips to the apex of your thighs, and your breath catches in your throat at the warmth radiating from his fingers when he positions them just below where you want him most.

He circles your clit again, smooth pleasure seeping through your nerve endings and your head falls back in a relaxed moan. You grind against the hard outline of his cock and the pads of his fingers against your clit, each slow drag of your hips causing pleasure to fizzle through you, like a flavored tab in a glass of water.

Your hands travel down his chest and stomach, outlining the thick, jagged scar there. Over his dark happy trail that starts just above his belly button and leads down to what your body is desperately craving. A little treasure map. 

You deftly undo the button and zipper and Joel makes a wrecked noise in the back of his throat when your hand brushes the hard outline of him through his briefs. 

“Wanna show you how much I like you in the mask,” you purr as you palm him. “How hot it gets me.” 

“Fuck,” his head falls back when you tug him out of his briefs, stroking his thick length to full mast. “Please, baby.”

You inch yourself down his legs so that you’re face to face with his weeping cock. Joel’s eyes widen and his hand comes up to gently stroke your hair appreciatively, tucking a lock of it behind your ear. He looks at you with adoration, and your heart swells in your chest.

“I love you, y’know that?” He says, softly. 

You can’t help but get a bit misty-eyed, always a fan of Joel when he gets soft like this. “I love you, too.” 

He smiles, and glances down at his dick, maneuvering it so that the head skates across your lips, leaving a trail of precum. His heated eyes find yours again. “Go on and show me then.”

“Yes sir.”

You keep eye contact as you lean forward to give his cock little kitten licks, and his head drops against the pillow with a groan, eyes lidded. “Shit, you can’t be lookin’ at me like that.”

You just smirk, and lick a long stripe up a prominent vein and kiss the tip of his cock sweetly before slowly taking him into your mouth. You take in as much as you can (which isn’t much, he’s pretty fucking big), and your hands find whatever you can’t fit.

You start sucking him in earnest, pressing the flat of your tongue against the ridge of his cock, delighting in the way the hand that had softly petted your hair before is now gripping it tight when you tongue that sensitive spot that always gets him reeling.

“That’s it, honey,” he groans, his hips twitching with tiny little thrusts as he tries to hold himself back. “Just like that.”

You moan against his cock, which has him bucking up reflexively, shoving his dick further into your warm mouth. Your throat spasms around the head of his cock when it hits the back of it, gagging lightly and tears forming at the edges of your eyes.

“Shit, I'm sorry, sweetheart,” he says, wiping the tears from your eyes with his thumb.

You shake your head slightly in reassurance, moaning around his cock again, and he releases a heavy breath, eyes fluttering shut once more as you continue to suck and bob and lick, effectively ruining him.

“Okay, okay, baby,” he says after a little while, lightly tugging on your hair to try and get you to stop. “I’m gonna come if you keep doin’ that.” 

You release his cock with an audible pop and send him a pout, “But that’s the whole point.” 

He chuckles a bit, sliding the mask off for a second so he can pull you up to kiss you softly, his tongue swiping over your bottom lip. You moan gratefully into his mouth when he tilts his head to deepen it, opening up greedily. As attractive as you find the mask, you certainly do miss being able to kiss him. You sigh happily when he pulls back to mouth at your jaw and throat, sucking and nipping his way down. 

“I wanna be in you when I come,” he murmurs against your skin, voice rough and gruff and you don’t think you’ll ever tire of it. “How’s that sound?”

You moan softly when he bites down on your throat, his beard and mustache tickling your skin. “Sounds…sounds good.”

He gives you another kiss before tugging his mask back down over his head, and your skin ignites, pussy fluttering.

Joel laughs. “I can literally see the cogs in your brain turnin’ when I put this on. You really do like it, huh?”

You shrug with a guilty smile. “The heart wants what it wants.”

And what it wants is him. Real bad.

So you drift a hand down to pull your panties to the side and shift your hips to position yourself over him, the head of his cock catching on your entrance. You sink slowly down, his length filling you.

The two of you moan in tandem.

“There we go,” he sighs.

“Mm, so big, Joel…” you whimper, and his dick jumps inside you.

You both just hang there for a moment, suspended in time as you get used to the feeling of each other. You’ve done this so many times, know each others bodies inside and out, yet it’s still a brand new experience every time.

You always have to adjust to his thickness. 

You break the spell with an experimental roll of your hips, and Joel’s hands clamp down on your hips with a vice grip.

“Christ—“ he swears. “You’re so good, so good for me.”

He’s filling you so fully, so deeply right now, you’re practically speared on him, and each roll of your hips has your clit brushing against his pelvic bone, amplifying that white hot pressure building inside you. 

When you and Joel first started getting intimate together, he was quiet in the bedroom. Probably a bit nervous around you—he was the one that fell first, after all.

But now after years together, he lets it all out.

Grunts and moans leak out of his gritted teeth as you fuck yourself on top of him. He’s dousing you in praises, telling you what a good girl you are. How perfect you are. How lucky he is to call you his wife. 

It’s all so very adorable and very sexy and you just love him so fucking much. 

Joel plants his feet down behind you, just to get some leverage so he can thrust his hips up into you at a steady pace. Your hands find purchase on his chest, keeping you upright while he fucks you.

His large palm slides around the front of your stomach, pressing down, and you can feel the way his cock moves inside you as he does it.

“You see that, baby?” 

You haven’t really looked down, so focused on the way he looks in the mask, how his breaths are coming out heavier and rougher through it. The way he sounds wrecked. But now that he’s asking, you do. 

You look down, only to see a slight bulge in your stomach with each thrust of his hips. 

A pleasant shudder runs through you. “Oh fuck.”

“Love seein’ the way I fuck you,” he rasps.

You watch his cock disappear and reappear with a slack jaw, eyes glazed as his hands stray to your thighs, squeezing and kneading the flesh.

You’re losing strength in your arms, your nails scraping through his chest hair as you try and remain upright, but the effort of matching his thrusts with your own along with the steady ecstasy filling your marrow is enough to have you collapsing against his chest, boneless.

And now Joel can really take the reins. His big hands grip your ass, holding you still as he pounds into you, your cheek smushing against his pecs with each heavy thrust, your clit rubbing against his sweat-slicked skin.

“F-fuck, Joel. Oh my god—“

“Yeah, yeah,” he grunts. “Atta girl.” 

Within moments you’re already there, eyes squeezing shut, brows pulled together in ecstasy as your climax crashes over you in rolling waves. It ebbs and flows within you as you listen to the heated pants modulating through Joel’s mask, watching his eyes gloss over as he chases his own release. 

It’s so fucking good. So right. Your husband never fails to give you exactly what you want.

His thrusts grow sloppier as he follows soon behind you, the fluttering walls of your cunt pulling him over faster.

“I’m comin’,” he grits. And then he’s grinding his cock into your pussy, holding you still against him as he paints your insides with thick ropes of cum, releasing a long, drawn out, wrecked moan of your name.

You lay pliant on his chest, practically drooling on him as you both come down and his cock softens inside you, slick and cum running down the inside of your thighs. His heart pounds under your ear, a steady reminder that he’s alive and here and that you, thank fuck, didn’t die earlier today.

“Thanks,” you mumble against his perspirant skin.

He tugs the mask off, his hair sticking to his sweaty temple. “‘Course, darlin’. Though as hot as that was, I dunno about having sex wearin’ that again. I think I was startin’ to get light headed from the lack of air.”

You giggle, “I’m sorry.”

“No, no. I liked it. But now anytime we have to wear them again I’m just gonna be thinkin’ about this. Gonna get a damn hard-on when I’m on patrol.”

You smirk, leaning up to plant a kiss on his lips. He opens up beneath you immediately, moaning softly into your mouth. 

“Maybe that was my goal all along,” you mumble, smiling into the kiss.

He pulls back with a quirked brow and crooked grin. “You are into some sick kinds of torture.”

“I mean, if it gets you coming home to me quicker…”

“Oh I’ll be comin’, alright.”

Your face scrunches. “God, you’re sick. Why did I even marry you?”

His eyes melt, one hand squeezing your ass cheek, the other stroking your jaw. “Because you love me.”

That causes tears to well in your eyes again, because despite everything, despite all the fucked up things about this world, you do love him. You’re capable of loving him. And you’re grateful that, even with the terrible way life has treated him, he’s capable of loving you too.

“Yeah, I do,” you say.

He kisses you again, sweet and passionate and filled with all the things he never knows how to say. “I love you, too.”

[genshinemblem564]

Genshin Isekai Headcanons

These can be sagau, but they don't have to be.

• Xinyan is stoked that you love her music, and is excited when you offer to play her some music from your world, but she's confused by some of the lyrics. She understands metaphorical lyrics, like the person described in the song isn't actually a rocket, but some of them don't make sense or feel like they were added just to fill a void. Aside from that, she kinda wants to perform some of these songs, now if only she had some band members.

• Tartaglia doesn't have much to say about the guns of your world. The pyro and hydro fatui agents already use guns of some kind, and the cryo fatui agent uses, um. What would you call an ice based flamethrower? No, what he's interested in is the immense amount of new weapons that Teyvat doesn't have, or they probably do, and we just don't hear about them. Like chain blades, I don't know what else to call them, essentially a flail, but instead of a mace, it's blade. I would write something about axes, but I feel like saving that for my crossover series. A scythe is often seen as a special lance, but you tell him that it's much more complicated than that specifically pointing out the blade, and depending on your own skill, you give him a demonstration. He is way too excited to learn all of these new weapons, like a kid excited about a new toy, you can't help but smile.

• Baizhu is perplexed when he first prescribes medicine to you, as you give him a list of allergies, if any, and are more than willing to go through proper examination to learn how resistant your body is to certain toxins. He's even more surprised when you tell him that his unique practice is actually common in your world, so that's why you don't bat an eye at potentially poisonous ingredients.

• Bennett is rather surprised. When you hang out, his bad luck seems to go away. It's actually just you using a bit of foresight, like checking the date on a flyer before rushing to a sale that had already ended, but seeing that glimmer in his eyes, you decide to let his imagination roam.

• You and Cyno are reference lords. You two reference everything, Cyno, his favorite book or book series, and you, your favorite media source. Now, if only people actually understood them, and yes, you do quote Yu-Gi-Oh when playing Genius Invokation.

• If you're an artist, then you quickly catch Albedo's attention. When he sees your drawings, he is quick to ask what you used as a muse, and your answer will have great impact on his reaction. If you point to an object or animal, his response will be normal. If you draw from memory though, he is astounded, especially if what you drew was a scene of some kind, with people, animals, or what have you. Drawing all that from memory is incredible. If you say it's something you made up, he'll compare it to when he's commissioned for his own art.

• Depending on your own interests, you'll be interacting with several different characters. I can't think of anything in depth for these few, so here's a general basis. Barbara is relieved that you're so open to different views. She knows how cruel people can be when they're closed-minded, and she's happy to teach you about the Church of Favonius and Barbatos. Noelle was lamenting not being a knight yet, which led you to bring up the seven chivalric virtues. Yae Miko and Xingqiu are very interested in the stories of your world. Xingqiu hoping to learn more about your worlds code of chivalry, but he ends up learning about justice's different forms. Yae is simply searching for new inspiration. She often calls on you when her old nemesis, writers block, appears. Nahida takes interest in you right away, wanting to gain knowledge from your world, and you seem fun. She knows better than anyone how dangerous knowledge can be, so she asks you to omit potentially dangerous subjects.

• Mona was shocked when you said that you only wanted to know the bad stuff coming your way, not that she could help you, with you being an outworlder and all. When she asked why, you told her "It's best to be prepared for all the bad coming your way, and if you know all the good coming your way, it takes away from life's natural wonder." Which was promptly followed by you asking "Where did that come from?"

___________________________________________

I'm thinking making more of that last one, like " Characters reaction to reader who is randomly philosophical" might need to work on the title a bit. Also, as stated above, these can be sagau, but can also be normal isekai, so I'll use both tags so they can be found more easily

[celaenaeiln]

You know what’s interesting I recently remembered regarding Dick’s methods compared to Bruce;

Canonically, touching any sort of firearm, especially say a revolver/pistol, is almost certainly out of the question fir Bruce due to that weapon being what caused to lose his parents in Crime Alley in the first place

Dick, on the other hand, he’ll be likely to use rope burning acid, the original way Boss Zucco caused the Flying Graysons’ ‘accident’, for escape purposes and have no issue with it.

A perfect example is in the Grayson tie in to the (craptacular but I digress) Event Maxi Series Futures End. Long story incredibly short, Dick used that very acid Zucco used to slip out of a noose he was left in and live to fight another ray

Thoughts on this?

this scene

Grayson: Futures End

Dick has no reservation about doing whatever he wants. He's absolutely fearless and the only reason the world is still standing is because he's busy playing by Bruce's rules.

There's a scene in Blackest Night: Batman where Dick and Damian have to gear up to fight a mass horde of intelligent zombifies. And Dick brings Damian to the Amry Reserve National Guard Armory

Blackest Night: Batman Issue #2

Blackest Night: Batman Issue #2

Damian makes a very good point - guns are on the don't use list. Except Dick has always been the best at walking the line. Bending the rules.

No guns? No problem.

Blackest Night: Batman Issue #2

Let's use flamethrowers instead.

This is what makes Dick such a good batman. Bruce has always been terrified of losing control. He firmly believes that once someone crosses the line, they can never come back. This is also why he grapples so hard with guilt over Jason's actions because in his own words, "Jason can do things Batman can't." So in an imaginary field, Bruce is standing on pristine white marble on the right, Jason is standing on pure black marble on the left, and in between them, on a line of gray marble, stands Dick.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #4

Which is the point he's making here. Dick plays both sides.

Batman (2016) Issue #66

The faceless man asks Selina, "He can't be happy and be Batman?" In similar words, she agrees.

Bruce believes that he can't be happy because he's Batman. But Dick was able to accomplish both.

Batman (1940) Issue #697

That's why he succeeded at being Batman. He wasn't wrecked with guilt at what he needed to do but he also wasn't caring of the citizens he needed to protect.

Dick's methods are gray. He weaves between the lines to do what needs to be done but never crosses them to the point of no return. He uses intimidation and fear and morally ambiguous methods but he's in control the whole time which is what makes him so good. He will always do what is right but the way he does it is what makes him so fun to read.

[cuprohastes]

So how's that going?

Putin: We will invade liberate Ukraine. Ukraine: No Everyone else: No Russia: Deploy The Worlds Biggest military Ukraine: [Apparently the guy from Ukraine's version of Saturday Night Live who is inexplicably in charge] "I don't need a lift, I need ammo." ✨Ukraine Gained a level in Bad Ass✨ ✨Ukraine took perk: Tractors can now harvest Tanks✨ Russia: We'll be done by the end of the week. Ukraine: [Sinks Russian Flagship in a land battle] [Deploys Tractors successfully] [Drones fucking everywhere] [Calls the Russian Soldier's mothers and tells them their kids have been naughty] Russia: ... how is this somehow a valid military tactic? Memo to the brave soldier of the Russian Army -- A gentle reminder to stop picking up souvenirs from Chornobyl, even if they do keep you warm at night, on account of also you will melt. Ukraine: Hello NATO, password is Swordfish, May we come in, we brought memes. NATO: Yes, what fine people you are, we especially enjoyed all the wheat and that time your president played piano with his dick on TV. Can we offer you tea, coffee, Molotovs, arm your grannies, provide you with some HIMARS to display your memes on...? Ukraine: Yes, thankyou much appreciated. Also check this out, we wired a Steam Deck to a gun. Plays Portal 2, goes BRRRRR. Russian Survivors: We were in the forest and we heard this little voice go 'ArE yOu Still TheRe' and then all my comrades did a dance and their blood fell out. 48 hours ago I was a background dancer for Little Big and now I have a Youtube Video of how to fire an AK47 and no bullets and I am being shot at by a box full of memes. Ukraine: Lol git gud skrub. Putin: OK, deploy the Nazis The Wagner Group. Is many fine people. Wagner Group: OK we need ammo, supplies, money, and support and money and for you to not look very closely at what we are doing with POWs, the people we are liberating and what we are doing with our cocks/flamethrowers/knives/guns/sharps sticks/and what this guy's necklace of human ears is made of. Ukraine: [Stares in Drone] Chap with the Nazi tattoo, five rounds rapid. LOL GET REKT Wagner Group: Damn these meddling kids. Where's our money and ammo and money and supplies (And money)? Putin: Counter offer - none of these things. Wagner Group: OK but you owe us the money, you get that right? Putin: See that Wagner Group? They can have a little bit of being shelled with artillery as a treat. Wagner Group: New plan. We are going to make Putin eat his own dick. Putin: You and what army? Wagner Group: Funny you should bring that up. ✨Wagner Group unlocked achievement: "Look at me. Look at me: We're the Army Now✨ Wagner Group: War-crimes With Ukraine is over. We are War-crimes with Russia now. [🪆]⬅️🛻🚚🛻🚛🛻🚚🚛...[🌻] Ukraine: 🍿 NATO: 🍿 The Internet: 🍿 The Orcas: 🐋🐳🍿 That uncontacted tribe:🍿

[sepublic]

Ninjago's power scaling is ridiculous because like. I get not wanting to constantly escalate the threat more and more after each season, because then you'll suffer massive DBZ-level power creep.

But on the other hand, this means you have the ninja, who have conquered wave after wave of world-ending threats, struggling against some random jobber whose only gimmick is having two flamethrowers. That's it. She doesn't have any special training or experience, nothing compared to what the ninja have amassed. We've got the Masters of Fire and Water, as well as a titanium robot with Ice powers.

Gee, who would win in Season 12; Nindroids built using Zane's upgraded schematics, armed with laser guns, the chosen army of the embodiment of all evil? Or some regular human thugs fresh out of prison... I get that the good guys aren’t allowed to reap the benefits of antagonists because the heroes always have to struggle so villains are nerfed when they switch over to their side but jeez. Ronin and the cops should be a complete non-issue for the ninja, especially by Crystalized.

Watching the finale of S7 is kinda hard to take seriously because like. Acronix and Krux don't have powers when they're fighting Kai, Nya, and Wu inside of the Iron Doom. It'd be one thing if being inside of the Iron Doom allows them to re-access their powers, even without holding the Time Blades directly, but no. They're just two regular guys with swords. Meanwhile we have Wu, who is already enough to defeat one of said guys when he's powerless, so really he should be doing that while Kai and Nya gang up on Krux and use their I dunno ELEMENTAL POWERS AND SPINJITZU. You're telling me the Hands of Time have them at sword-point and Wu has to make a big sacrifice to save them???

Like. I can't help but feel like clever writing can be done to avoid these situations by making the enemies actually fantastical enough to be a reasonable challenge, but not the biggest baddest thing the ninja have encountered yet. Or we could even have some decent-looking villain show up and talk hot shit about how they’re undefeated, only for the ninja to just immediately obliterate them within a few seconds and just move on because guys like that are a dime a dozen at this point.

This is why Kai making a fool out of Cinder was peak, it made actual sense given everything Kai has faced and he even brings it up, and Cinder needed a special magical power-up to win afterwards. But once they’re on equal ground with Kai getting his own power-up, he goes back to thrashing Cinder.

[asknarashikari]

Gigist (feel free to promote the "Gigist can go (whatever the fuck should happen)" tag, we need more of this) getting approached by...quite the massive sea of pissed off confronters.

Massive Sea of Extremely Livid Enemies: - Rinne, Renge, Sabimaru, Minato, Kyoka, and hell even Spanner and Lachesis - Every single remaining chemmy, lead by Gotchard's second closest chemmy that is Steamliner himself - Mr. Gorgeous Gold Fuckboy and his Butler - Every Single Main Rider from past seasons - Every Single living Secondary Rider from past seasons - Every Single Tertiary/Extra Rider from past seasons - Every single female companion or supporting ally from past seasons - Every single sentient henshin device/trinket from past seasons - Me, @askrikkaiandhyotei, @i-am-randomtrash00, and every single rider fan ally you know that is devastated by this loss...lead by YOU! (Pretend we're all supplied with not just torches and pitchforks but also gattling guns, munitions, flamethrowers, kerosene, any kind of lethal arsenal that can kill shit) - (Maybe there's more I'm missing)

#for-skebows #for-antrooper #for-hopper-1 #for-ichinose-houtaro

YES. YES TO ALL THIS.

(Well, maybe not the me leading part. I'll gladly defer to the Riders on this, especially Houtaro)

[fandom-junk-drawer]

The Witcher Headcanon (Modern Au) - Error 404 Brain Not Found.

Yennefer has no clue how Geralt always ends up getting into odd situations when he's around Jaskier

The Witcher is usually so serious and disciplined, always on guard and watching so he's ready for any threat.

He is usually the responsible one, especially with Ciri.

But for some reason, when he's around Jaskier, Yennefer notices Geralt just kind of ...loses all his braincells.

Losing his braincells is normal for Jaskier, because sometimes Yen is convinced he never had any to begin with.

She wonders what is going on in their heads.

They are just living examples of Why Women Live Longer Than Men

Geralt and Jaskier haved jumped off the roof onto a trampoline. Geralt had been more concerned with the dent he'd put in the side of Roach than with his broken wrist.

They tried to see how many of various food items they could stuff in their mouths.

Run around the house wearing dinosaur masks, and if any mail or food delivery service knocks, they are greeted by two grown men in dinosaur masks, making hissing and roaring sounds.

Drank a big glass of water on an empty stomach so they could wiggle around to hear it slosh.

Tried to slide down the stairs in laundry baskets

Jaskier came home soaking wet because he took his motorcycle through the automated car wash while Geralt recorded it.

All the 'I bet you can't...' games that always ended with minor injuries.

Dared each other to eat random things they found while on hunts or outside, like slime, goo, viscous fluids, pasty goops, bugs, etc.

Made a swimming pool in the livingroom with the two couches and a tarp, filled it with orbeez, and stayed in there all afternoon watching tv and eating pizza rolls. Yennefer had made them find every last orbee after the 'pool' burst and flooded the livingroom thousands of little balls.

Giant Sticky Hand fights

Almost got arrested because Geralt and Lambert had seen Jaskier walking, pulled over, and shoved him into the van. People thought they were witnessing a kidnapping.

Naked Nerf Gun War. It hadn't ended well.

Hover board races in spite of the fact that neither of them had ever been on a hover board.

Have spent an entire day doing the Sprite Challenge. It ended only because Geralt made a sound like a dying humpback whale and they laughed so hard they both vomited.

Made horrifying concotions of various foods and liquids, then had a competition to see was brave enough to drink it.

Tried to epilate their leg hair because "how hard could it be?" The screams... The neighbors had called the police thinking someone was being murdered.

Invited Eskel, Lambert, and Coen over, then sat in a circle, took a mouthful of water and slapped each other in the face with a tortilla. The first one to spit their water out lost.

Made flamethrowers with cans of Yennefer's hairspray and lighters and chased eachother through the house. Yennefer had not been happy.

Spent almost and hour trying to see who could make the loudest, grossest sounding fart noise with their hands or insides of their elbows.

Tried to jump on the bed hard enough to make the other bounce off

Tried to see how many times Geralt could get kicked in the balls before he couldn't get back up.

Streaked down the street in broad daylight, and then couldn't get in the house because Lambert had locked them out.

Have to poke/throw firecrackers/try to burn every wasp, hornet, and ant nest they find. Jaskier's left hand had looked like a Mickey Mouse hand and he couldn't play his guitar for several days after he got stung by a "big a** motherf***ing hornet."

Then there was the time Jaskier somehow convinced Geralt to try on a pair of Yennefer's yoga pants.

How Geralt had even managed to get into them was a mystery. Yennefer had to admit that she was impressed with how well the yoga pants had held up. She couldn't even be mad.

And of course she had taken a picture.

Now every time Geralt calls her, that picture of him pops up on the screen.

And it's not even the full picture of Geralt. It's been cropped down to where it's just Geralt's a** in those gray yoga pants.

[prophetwithaz]

chlorine (e. m.)

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+ minors dni!!! unprotected p in v sex, swearing, drug/alcohol use/mentions, kinda sad/angsty in the beginning, lots of plot

summary: you and eddie are talking about your time in the upside down, and he distracts you with a swim in steve's pool and a warm shower after. eddie ended up alive despite the odds, but both of you are still dealing with the aftermath.

word count: 2.9k

notes: i really love this, and it's roughly based on swimming when i was young to take my mind off a lot of crappy stuff. it also had me thinking about eddie and how the upside down probably isn't any good for someone's psyche. there is a lot of plot before the smut so if you like slightly angsty fluff, this is for you. i'm also reposting this a second time bc i think the tags last time made the algorithm do a fucky wucky.

tag list: @depressedstressedlemonzest

do not copy, rewrite, translate or post my work online. that is stealing. i put a lot of time into my work, and i do not appreciate people taking credit for my work. thanks!

enjoy babes! - bee

---

Ever since Steve had his first scuffle with the Upside Down, he wasn’t as much of a party person. If he was going to die, he wasn’t going to die doing some stupid shit starting with him saying, “hold my beer!” However, he still enjoyed a good kickback with his friends, if you could call it that. Your current friend group was the definition of chaos. You and Steve were joined by Robin, Nancy, and Eddie Munson. He was sort of adopted into the group after you were all traumatized in the Upside Down. When you do that kind of stuff, you’re kind of bonded for life. I mean, who else would believe you?

You had always found Eddie endearing, even before your experiences together. It seemed strange that despite everything you had heard about him and everything that happened to him growing up, he still didn’t give a damn what anyone thought about him. His style was less than conventional, but that made him all the more exciting. He was new and different compared to all of the others you grew up with in Hawkins. 

Aside from the new dimension Eddie brought to your friend group, he also brought a handful of new experiences, and by a handful of experience, he definitely meant handfuls of weed. He wasn’t dealing nearly as much once his name was cleared since all eyes were on him, but that left him with a lot of excess that he couldn’t finish by himself. Which is how the two of you ended up high at Steve Harrington’s house, all of you stoned, shooting the shit until the early hours of the morning.

“No fucking way, Ed!” Steve laughed. “You could not take a Demogorgon by yourself. It took three of us!”

“Okay, but like… Consider, a flamethrower?” Eddie said. As much as you wanted to laugh, you could tell he was dead serious. You and Eddie had a higher tolerance, so you were both significantly less high than everyone else at the house. Robin was super giggly, and Nancy was absolutely destroying Eddie’s argument.

“Logistically speaking, yes,” Nancy said. “But you don’t even know how to use a flamethrower. You didn’t even believe me when I told you I had guns.”

“Ah yes,” Eddie sighed. “Nancy ‘Guns, Plural’ Wheeler.”

You all laughed this off, all of you getting a bit tired, especially the ones who were still pretty high. Steve ditched first, saying he was going to bed, then Nancy, then Robin, all going to their respective guest rooms for the night. Steve had a huge house, so Nancy and Robin were sharing a room, Steve was staying in his room, you were in the guest room, and Eddie was taking the couch. Generally, you guys rotated who got stuck with the couch, but it was ridiculously comfortable regardless. Eventually, you and Eddie were the only ones still awake, still not very tired. Both of you were still having trouble sleeping after defeating Vecna. Nancy told you that you never sleep well after your first time, but you hadn’t really believed her until now. It was a month after saving Hawkins, and you still couldn’t close your eyes without seeing a sobbing Dustin Henderson and a barely alive Eddie Munson. You couldn’t tell how phased Eddie was by this; you didn’t even know how much he remembered. Eventually, after some time just chatting about life post-Vecna, Eddie asks you the burning question.

“So are you having trouble sleeping, too?” He asks. You just nod. You don’t want to tell him what you see when you close your eyes. “I figured. I don’t want to sleep either. I just remember telling Henderson to take care of the new kids for me. I think I remember the rest of you guys yelling but I’m not sure. Scares the shit out of me to know I could have died down there.”

“I know what you mean,” you said. “It’s terrifying to go like that. You never think it can kill you until it does, or almost does. Vecna reached his hand out to me as Robin and I threw Molotovs at him, and I knew right then that if this didn’t work, I was done for. So I said a prayer and threw it.”

“Do you have that thing where you see the same thing when you close your eyes? It feels like you’re watching it as a movie. It doesn’t feel like you, but its not not you, you know?”

You had never heard it all described so clearly before. It was like he had it all figured out, even though you knew there was really no way for any of you to have any of this really figured out. You sighed, “Yes. That’s exactly how it is. I feel like I can’t get it to leave me alone. Like the scene just has to play through to the end.” You paused a moment, “I thought you were dead, Eddie.”

Both of you sat in an uncomfortable silence a moment. It was true. Everyone thought he was dead, even Eddie. Miraculously, he made it, and that was what everyone chose to talk about, but no one ever wanted to talk about the horrors of the “after”, the post-Vecna, whatever you wanted to call it. It was almost as if choosing to live in the past forever would keep you safe from what came next. What’s one more time? 

“We should step out for some fresh air,” Eddie said. You quietly followed him behind the house to Steve’s pool. The lights were on out back, giving the pool an inviting blue glow. Eddie started stripping out of his clothes next to you.

“What are you doing?” you said, confused.

“Doing what I always do when I start thinking about this shit: literally anything else.”

Eddie strips down to just his boxers and takes a running start into the pool, the smell of chlorine rushing up to hit your nose as he splashes into the water. His method, albeit somewhat avoidant and unhealthy, sounded good in the moment. “You should join me. The water’s not too cold.”

Hesitantly, you agree. You weren’t keen on the idea of getting naked in front of your friend, but honestly, anything to push the thoughts out of your head sounded pretty damn good at the moment. You took off your tee shirt and jeans leaving only your bra and underwear still on. “Pink? Nice,” Eddie said sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood. You walk back about as far as you can go, and take a running leap. You were submerged in the cool water as your feet touched the bottom. As you rise to the surface, you push your hair out of your face and take a big breath of fresh air. You look over at Eddie, his wet face shining in the moonlight. His hair was now slicked back aside from his bangs sticking to his forehead. “Feel a little better?” he asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” you were surprised by how quickly it had cleared the thoughts out of your mind. 

“I told you so,” Eddie said. “You’re safe here. We’re both safe. Nothing is going to happen to us.”

“How can you be so sure of that?” you asked.

“Well to be honest, I’m not sure. But I know what it’s like now. The others have done this even more than we have and made it out alive every time. I will be there to protect you. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” Eddie said. His voice sounded shaky, but not afraid. You couldn’t put your finger on the emotion in his voice. “You will always be safe with me.”

You didn’t exactly know how to process that. You really liked Eddie, but you never knew he cared about you like that. Maybe it was just the trauma, or living through the after, but something drew the two of you together that you couldn’t place. The two of you got off the subject quickly, talking about music and movies and your friends, about how ‘86 was finally you and Eddie’s year, regardless of how difficult it was. 

“You wanna race?” you ask Eddie.

“What?”

“Do you want to race from one end of the pool to the other?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s fun?”

“Fine, but I have the clear physical advantage,” Eddie says sarcastically. He flexes his arm jokingly, but he looked stronger than he thought. 

You both line up at the edge of the pool and count off from three. About halfway down the pool, you notice Eddie is ahead of you, so you try to grab his feet to pull him back. That pull pushed you forward just enough to beat him to the other side.

“What the fuck!” Eddie yelled. “That was so unfair!”

“I was simply using my resources,” you said. Eddie gets an idea, as evidenced by the devilish grin on his face. He begins to chase you around, eventually grabbing you and throwing you over his shoulder. By this point, both of you are laughing uncontrollably, and Eddie sets you down on the side of the pool. 

“You know, you’re more fun than I thought you’d be,” he said.

“What, did you think I was gonna be mean and scary?”

“Well, I always pegged you to be more like Nancy since you guys are pretty close,” Eddie said. “You’re a lot more laid back.”

You looked at each other. There were no words but you felt like you could read his mind. His wet skin was soft and his shaggy hair hung around his shoulders, and his smile was still the biggest thing you were focusing on. “Come here,” he said. You obliged and hopped down. Eddie then wrapped you in the biggest bear hug you could imagine. The kind that pushes all your broken pieces back together. When he finally let you go, he gave you a quick kiss on the top of your head. “Nothing will ever hurt you again.”

You looked up at the man you had previously thought was impossible to know, realizing that all alone, he was keeping you out of the loop to keep you safe. You were both free. Nothing was stopping you anymore. You place a soft kiss to his cheek, testing the waters. Eddie hoists you up on to hips, wrapping your legs around his waist as he kisses you for the first time. He tastes like chlorine and salt, but none of that mattered right then. Both of you were safe.

As you pulled apart, the pool water had you both a bit sticky. You both decided it was about time to get out of the pool, grabbing towels from a bin just outside the door. As Eddie climbed out of the pool, his boxers clung to his skin, showing off his legs and leaving little to the imagination. The man was hung, confirming your suspicions. You dried off your hair, scrunching it up to try to get the water out, which only left your hair dry and frizzy. “I think I need to take a shower. I forgot how nasty pools can make your hair.”

“You’re telling me,” Eddie said. “Mind if I join you?” You stumble over your words a minute, not sure if he was joking. 

“Uh sure? Why not?”

“Don’t be nervous, sweetheart. Nothing I wasn’t trying to see anyways.”

As Eddie followed you to the upstairs bathroom, you both tried to keep your footsteps light to not wake the others. It was almost three in the morning, but the two of you were still very awake. As soon as you shut the door, Eddie lifts you on to the countertop, placing his hands firmly on your waist. “Promise that this is what you want?”

“Absolutely,” you said. It felt like a switch in you just flipped as you start kissing him again, slowly slipping your tongue into his mouth. He starts to rub your sides, sinking the pads of his fingers into your flesh. You move his hands lower on to your thighs, and then further in between your legs.

“Are you sure?” he said.

“Quit being such a gentleman.”

That statement lit a fire under Eddie, gripping your thighs as he aggressively made out with you, eventually moving his hands up to grab your tits. He slips your bra off quickly and starts kissing up your body to your neck. You let out a quick whine, which was quickly silenced by a hand lightly wrapped around your throat. “Shhh, gotta be quiet, darling. Everyone’s still asleep.” You obliged as he kept making you squirm, fighting every urge to cry out. Eddie continued kissing along your neck and collarbones, loosening his grip on your neck as you settled down. He kept moving lower, kissing your breasts, the your stomach, ending with a soft bite on your upper thighs. “You’re so wet for me, sweetheart,” Eddie said as he pulled off your already soaked underwear. The whole bathroom reeked of sex and pool water, and you weren’t complaining. You also had a relatively quick and sudden understanding why Eddie may have handcuffs hanging in his bedroom. He pulled you down from the bathroom counter where you were no longer at eye level. Looking down at you, he let out a soft sigh. “I knew you were gorgeous, but this is almost too much.”

“So are you, Ed,” you exhale. “I didn’t expect you to be so good at all this.”

“I’m a nerd, not a virgin,” he chuckled. “Are you sure you’re good with all this? You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to.”

Eddie put his hand on your cheek, lifting your head up to meet his gaze. Despite you thinking this was just a hookup, you were both stone cold sober by now, and his eyes were all love. “So?” he asked.

You gave him a quick kiss and muttered out a soft, “please.”

“‘Atta girl,” he said, bending you over the counter. You could see him behind you in the mirror, fiddling with his boxers, pushing them down, and then looking at you in the mirror. The thought of being inside of you had him dripping. You felt him tease your entrance. “So fucking beautiful,” he says in barely a whisper. Eddie pushed into you, his length being more than you expected. You bite down on the palm of your hand to stifle the sounds coming out of you. Eddie chuckles, “so fucking good for me. Stay quiet, darling.”

He starts thrusting into you at a quicker pace, and you find it harder and harder to keep quiet as he reaches around your wait to play with your clit. “Please, Eddie. Don’t stop, please,” you say as quietly as you can. You feel a warm sensation pooling in your stomach as he presses the pad of his finger against your needy clit, stifling a moan as you come. After this, he takes away his hand as he continues to fuck you, grabbing your hair to make you look in the mirror. “Look how pretty you are when I fuck you,” Eddie said.

As he kept going, his thrusts grew more and more uneven, hips stuttering as he pulled out to come on your hips, groaning softly to avoid waking the others. As he grabbed the counter to steady himself, you stayed bent over the counter, knowing you were going to be about as graceful as Bambi after that. Eddie grabbed a hand towel and wet it in the sink, and then used it to clean up your back. He then helped hold you up, seeing as your legs were still a bit shaky. “How about that shower?” he asked innocently.

You just chuckled, “sure, Munson.”

Eddie ran the water in the shower and guided you in. While he washed your hair, he asked, “So, how was it?”

“How do you think?” Eddie looked at you awaiting a response. “Good! Like, really good! Context clues, Ed, god.”

“Oh, I know. Just wanted to hear you say it,” he said as he continued to rub the shampoo into your scalp, then rinsing it (and the crazy amounts of chlorine) out. He grabbed the conditioner and did the same, trying to comb out the knots with his fingers. “Pool water is so bad for your hair,” he says.

“And how would you know that?”

“Sweetheart- and I mean this in all honesty- do you think I don’t take care of my hair?”

“To be honest, I thought you were like every other man I know and used 2-in1.”

“Lies! Slander!” he laughs. You both finish your shower, and he leaves to grab your overnight bag so that you can both get ready for bed.

By the time you were finally getting ready for bed, you didn’t know what time it was anymore or much else for that matter. What you did know was that you no longer saw terrifying things when you closed your eyes. And that no one was sleeping on the couch that night, as Eddie pressed your head into his bare chest. And wordlessly, you both fell asleep easy for the first time in months.

[ecargmura]

Pokemon Horizons Episode 20 Review - Kabu Time

It’s finally nice to actually see a Galarian Gym in full! What I mean is that since Ash didn’t focus much on Gyms in favor of the PWC in Journeys, Galarian Gym Leaders have been brushed off to the side aside from a few. Kabu didn’t make an appearance in the previous series so for him to have an entire episode of spotlight dedicated to him, his Gym Test, and his Gym Trainer was very nice to see! It’s finally time Galar got the respect it deserved.

In Galar, Gym Leaders are like celebrities, so it’s nice to see that sort of vibe when Kabu was in the Battle Cafe. He’s still the same passionate and wise character like he was in the game. He gave a lot of advice that hopefully will be useful for future development—especially Liko’s. I do like how he sees their potential and does his best to bring it out. He sent out his Centiskorch, who’s too OP for rookie trainers like Liko and Roy and I’m glad that he didn’t hold back. That would defeat the purpose of the wisdom he implemented onto Liko.

Liko’s major flaw as a character is that she’s kind and considerate. While those are good traits, they are also weaknesses in a way. Holding back will only let opportunities slip away; I’ve held back many things in the past out of consideration for others, but I then realized as I got older about all the missed opportunities I could’ve had if I wasn’t so caring towards others. Being too considerate for Wakaba caused her to be upset and for Sprigatito to get annoyed. Consideration is a double-edged sword in a way. While it’s nice to have, it can hurt others. I’m glad that Liko learned how it could hurt others and how selfish it can be from a different perspective. This can open up a path of development for Liko as she has to learn that being too nice on a battlefield isn’t always right and showing compassion isn’t always a good thing. I’m also glad that she actually contemplated on her actions and Kabu’s words at the end of the episode; like her, it makes me wonder what sort of Trainer she will become.

Roy is his usual self in this episode. However, I do notice that he was shown as Liko’s opposite int his episode. While he is kind, he’s not holding back on Fuecoco. While Fuecoco is down, Roy’s doing all he can to encourage and support his crocodile and, in turn, that’s what caused Fuecoco to learn Flamethrower. However, I do wish that Roy gets an opponent on his level soon and not get jobbed by stronger opponents. He’s essentially bringing a knife to a gun fight.

Please correct me if I am wrong, but Wakaba is the first instance of a Gym Trainer in a Galar-focused episode. While she’s a Gym Trainer apprentice, it’s nice to see the system of Gym Trainers be implemented in the anime. When was the last time we had Gym Trainers mentioned in a past series? Wakaba is a girl who admires Kabu and wants to be a Gym Trainer out of admiration. I do feel bad for her because she’s essentially fodder in this episode. She’s fodder for Liko to be nice to. She was fodder in the first part of the double battle as she was just sitting there and not helping out; though, I get why she just stood there because she’s still inexperienced in a way. It was super nice seeing Rolycoly spinning around like a top and I wish there was more action.

I do want to see Liko and Roy grow after this battle. I’m sure they will accumulate everything they have acquired throughout this journey to become the best versions of themselves in the future. I’m sure that we won’t recognize the flawed children they once were a few years from now. Next time, they're heading to the Galar Mines to find Rayquaza after hearing Kabu's anecdote. What are your thoughts on this episode?

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

13, 24, 27 for Pyro

and

3 for a Dark Shadows character of your choice!

13. Dumbest thing they've ever done.

Oh boy, where do I start here? So many contenders.

I'd probably have to say that time that Freedom Force attacked the X-Men (without Mystique's permission and behind her back), and Pyro tried directly challenging Storm. This was during the time that Storm had lost her powers, but Pyro's flame reacted with the fog in the air to cause rain, so Pyro basically took himself out.

Runner up - that time in TAS that Pyro did not recognize Rogue despite her having formerly been in the Brotherhood, and tried to flirt with her by torching a chair and making a bad pun. I want to emphasize, he literally just torched a chair and didn't actually manipulate the flame at all, which means he was trying to impress Rogue as "guy with a flamethrower."

Toss him through the wall, Rogue.

Also that same episode he shot fire at Cable, a huge hulking guy strapped with guns, for no good reason, and got himself knocked out and nearly drowned. "Don't call me darling."

Second runner-up - That impulsive drunken skull-face tattoo. I am 100% certain Pyro had some next-day regrets about that, even though he would never admit it.

24. Most annoying habit

He's definitely a show-off and braggart, and can often be quite petty and mean. Probably a conversation one-upper, and a million "When I was in Vietnam/the Brotherhood/jail" stories of dubious credibility. Although I also think those are fun aspects of his character.

Probably smoking. Pyro is a smoker and I doubt he's very considerate about second-hand smoke. Also, if you lend him your lighter you will never see it again.

27. Their guilty pleasure

Soap operas. Pyro loves watching soaps for all the plot twists and drama, many of which he rips-off uses for inspiration in his novels. Although I think Pyro would be defiantly unashamed of watching soaps. "I'm a romance writer, what the fuck do you expect?"

Pyro's real guilty pleasure - light-hearted romantic comedies and occasional sappy Hallmark movies. Sometimes St. John just needs a pick-me up in the form of a feel-good movie about a career woman moving back to her small town and discovering both love and the true meaning of Christmas. If you walk in on Pyro watching one of these movies he will switch it off faster than actual porn.

3. Obscure headcanon (for a Dark Shadows character)

Bless you for asking me about Dark Shadows. I like to imagine a lot of moments of Willie (Barnabas's servant/vampire thrall) introducing Barnabas to 20th century culture, especially post-Wyndcliff when Barnabas was being a little nicer to Willie. Like Willie getting Barnabas to try pizza and hamburgers during his "cured" non-vampire times when he could actually eat real food. "C'mon, Barnabas, you gotta try it at least once, it's really good, and people will expect you to have eaten pizza before, it'll help you fit in."

Barnabas eats pizza and hamburgers with a knife and fork, no one can convince him to do otherwise.

Barnabas trying to relate to Vicky: "Willie prepared some.....spa-ghe-tti for me the other night, such an interesting, flavorful dish, although a bit inconvenient to eat."

Willie had no idea what to do when Barnabas asked him for some salt-pork, he just ran out and got Barnabas a hot dog. Barnabas became surprisingly fond of baked beans with cut-up hot dogs, and would offer it to guests.

Willie was similarly troubled when Barnabas wanted roast pigeon. "We, uh....we don't really eat that anymore, Barnabas. Maybe some fried chicken instead?" Thankfully, Barnabas loved the Colonel's 11 herbs and spices.

(I feel like this works even better for the 91 Revival Willie and Barnabas, who don't have as contentious a relationship. Like 91 Willie would be eager to take Barnabas to the movies or play the Beatles for him or introduce him to Chinese food.)

[thestobingirlie]

To add to to anon about Nancy's common sense or lack thereof in s4. Idk if it's on the Duffers but yet again Nancy just exhibits reckless behavior when investigating Chrissys murder. Like bfr you are writing for a high school paper, you have zero investigating journaling experience (aside from Murray) and you drag in another guy who has even less experience. What high school paper would also publish this article? It's literally about one of their students. The parents would probably sue them. Again I see people saying it's her trauma of needing to solve things fast because she failed Barb but still. She should have known better than to drag in another person, after what happened with Jonathan and them getting fired for all we know the high school could have suspended them if the article went through. It's like she doesn’t think about the bigger picture. I would love if that would be addressed in the show, that Nancy's tunnel vision is a negative trait she needs to unlearn because she caused so much hurt with it. But that would require the writers to acknowledge Nancy's lack of empathy as well. (Ppl claim Nancy talking to Wayne shows how she's such a sweet and caring person, when in reality she manipulated him to get her story and clues. She's very selfish which I love but I would like it even more if it was portrayed as a negative trait with consequences)

Then later after Vecna revealed his plan to Nancy, she shot everyone down (Steve and Eddie) who were like nope this plan sucks. Steve literally is their best fighter (with Hopper and El) if he has reservations the group should listen to him. Nancy's need to be right and not listening to others got us in this mess and I hope they address it and she can learn from it in s5. I hate when people say well Steve is just against everything, he doesn't care look how dismissive he is when in reality him putting a stop to things is him trying to keep the group save. Besides Steve, nobody really has common sense, they are smart nerds but they need people like him who can strategitize. I mean he was captain of the basketball team and swim team, he's a leader with good ideas.

Nancy also getting a gun instead of a flamethrower shows she doesn't have common sense. When did her guns help anyone? In s3 in the cabin it was Lucas and Jonathan who got El out from the Mindflayers grip and she couldn't disable the car. It's established since s2 the Mindflayer/Vecna hates heat, guns don't do anything only buy you some time. And I hate that Nancy's moment of shooting Vecna was framed as the most iconic and important moment in vol2, when it was Steve and Robin who lit him up and did the most damage. Without that they would have been dead. Nancy saw him covered in vines primary to that moment, she should know vines especially don't care about bullets, if Vecna has them as his body armor why tf would she use the gun.

yeah, it is funny that she investigates a murder as if she’ll be able publish it in the school paper, and she lies to wayne about who she is, saying she works for a ‘small paper’. girl, you’re in journalism club.

i definitely think she feels like she has to solve it because of barb, though honestly i don’t really understand why she drags fred along. like, she doesn’t know chrissy’s death has anything to do with the upside down, and she seems to bin fred off pretty quickly to talk to wayne. and i would’ve thought that after last season she would’ve decided she was better off investigating alone. she doesn’t even seem to like fred much, why bring him along?

i definitely think that would’ve been a better story line, that nancy decides to work alone, and realises that you just can’t do this kind of stuff alone, and that she does need people. because nancy’s development relies on her making friends, so why cut her further away from others when she could have a realisation that she needs steve and the kids. instead the duffers just killed off another teen in close proximity to her to make her feel guilty.

yeah, nancy totally gets tunnel vision and is selfish, which is a super interesting character trait, if it were acknowledged!

the way steve literally said it was a shit plan, and then they ended up losing. but will that be acknowledged? no.

but yeah, steve was a team captain, he should be good at delegating and deciding the risk of things, and i don’t think it makes sense that nancy should be in charge of a group. in the same way that i wouldn’t put murray in charge of a group. nancy is smart, but like you said earlier, she gets tunnel vision, she struggles to recognise a situation outside of her own opinions. she’s not the most empathetic, and i think she often cares more about being right than other people feelings, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it’s not a great personality trait for a leader.

i’m so tired of the gun thing. it never works! it’s used to try and make nancy look badass and then she never even kills anything! everyone else has to do the killing while she shoots her useless guns. lucas literally chopped the mind flayer with a fucking axe, but people only ever care about nancy with a shotgun in her arms. give her a fucking flamethrower, that’d be awesome.

[admiral-mason]

You Reap What You Sow - Chapter 6

Genshin Impact SAGAU x Iron Harvest 1920+

The Creator's Most Loyal

Columbina sang softly as she rest her head on the long table.

The Tsaritsa and her Fatui harbingers waited for you in the meeting room. They had received news from this 'Ironside Quadripartite' that you, their god, had descended upon Teyvat. They wanted you to visit them first, and they had convinced the Quadripartite to allow them to do so. All they had to do was wait now.

"When are they arriving?" Sandrone asked sitting in her machine's hand, her voice full of more vigor than it usually was. She has seen one of the Quadripartite's machines when they met up, a gorilla-like one. It had a singular spherical structure as its cockpit, with two stubby legs underneath it. Its right arm bore what appeared to be a metal mallet, while the left arm bore what seemed to be a gun of sorts. Considering that you were associated with them, perhaps you could teach her more about these interesting machines.

"When they do arrive, I'll make sure to shower them in lots of mora. Oh, how much attention I shall receive, basking in their presence." Pantalone hummed to himself, eagerly awaiting your presence only to have Arlecchino shut him up.

"Will you be quiet, Regrator? We all desire Our Grace's acknowledgments." Arlecchino hated businessmen and bankers, and Pantalone's words didn't help one bit.

"Please, don't fight," Columbina said, pausing her singing to try and diffuse the fight. "We don't want to ruin our first impressions, after all."

"I agree with her," Childe added. "We've already seen how everyone else was so blind. Don't want to be seen in the same light as them."

"Let's just ensure that we don't instill ourselves a bad reputation in our grace's eyes." Il Capitano said. Pierro and Pulcinella simply stayed silent about all of this. Suddenly, a Pyroslinger Bracer loudly barged in.

"This had better be important," Il Dottore said. "It is!" The rifle-wielding Fatui agent said. "Our grace has arrived!" Everyone's faces lit up at those four words, the Tsaritsa's especially. She hated how the other archons were foolish enough to not recognize their own god, how a false copy had come along and tricked them all. They won't trick her and the Fatui. They aren't fooling anyone in Snezhnaya.

You and the Pyroslinger Bracer that accompanied you had just finished a brief tour of the general aspects of the palace. Everything else was up to you. Your rifthound buddy and the slugas continued receiving headpats from the bracer.

You decided to try and rub your hands together to warm them up. But you did not expect them to be on fire. "Aah!" You yelped, concerned over the fact that your hands were on fire. Surprisingly enough, it did not hurt them. Your rifthound buddy and the slugas looked at you in curiosity.

"Oh, this is great! You're regaining your divine powers!" The bracer said, full of joy in his voice. You then realized that since you're the divine creator, you get to control elements. Well, that probably should have been a given.

You then decided to try something. You took out the Polanian rifle you had slung on your back the whole time and tried infusing it with the power of pyro. Surprisingly enough, the rifle's barrel had a bit of fire rushing out of it. Not enough to be a full-scale flamethrower, but it looks enough to be able to shoot some fire pellets.

"Whoa! A fire rifle as well?" The bracer said. "Heck yeah! We're twinsies!" He added in excitement. You simply smiled at his antics, your rifthound buddy and the slugas being amazed at how you can control fire that easily.

"Alright, enough antics for now. Let's go meet the Tsaritsa, shall we?" You replied. "Okay then, your grace. Let's go!" The bracer said as you two started walking to the meeting room.

When you saw the double doors leading to the meeting room, you were a bit nervous at first. The Pyroslinger noticed and he eased your worries. "Hey, don't be nervous, your grace. Her majesty and the Harbingers are all awaiting you inside."

"O-Okay then..." You nervously said as you opened the right door, making your presence known to all those inside. The Harbingers all sat neatly across the long table (except for Sandrone, who was sitting on her machine's hand), and the Tsaritsa sat at the end of it. Though, a black shadow covered her eyes, preventing you from seeing them.

The first thing you noticed was that they were all smiling (you could even sense Capitano's smile underneath that mask). This eased your worries a little bit. Now you don't have to worry about them killing you on sight so badly. You still have kinda awkward social skills though.

Secondly, you got to see the Tsaritsa. She looked like how she did in La Signora's backstory. Fair skin, white hair, her blue dress, and that icy-designed crown.

"Uh... hi there." You said, walking up to the long table. The Pyroslinger left so as to not disturb you all.

"Your grace, welcome to Snezhnaya." The Tsaritsa began. She stood up and walked to you as she gestured you towards the empty seat which was at the other end of the table. You sat down at the empty seat as the Tsaritsa sat back down in her seat, directly facing you.

"When we felt your descent, we asked for our agents all across Teyvat to try and find you," Pierro said. "And we were in utter disbelief and hatred when a member of the 'Ironside Quadripartite' you were associated with informed us about your predicament."

"You mean the fact that I was being hunted down as an impostor? Yeah- that kinda sucked," you said, imaginary anime sweat drop on the side of your head right now. "Though uh, now I'm here! And I was told I'd be kept safe here, so I should be fine..."

"Fine? You are the divine one, you must be protected at all costs." Arlecchino said, her eyes with red X's instead of pupils staring into yours. "We all cannot bear what would happen if you were to be harmed in any way. Or worse... killed."

"Well, thank you for that. But now I'm curious: who informed you of my predicament?" You asked. There were a bunch of Iron Harvest characters you knew of. "A man and his cousin," Pulcinella replied. "They bore the names of Lech Kos and Anna Kos respectively."

"Lech and Anna!" You exclaimed, recognizing those two. "Oh man, did you get to see Lech's mech? The gorilla-inspired machine with the mallet and cannon arm, I mean." Sandrone responded quickly with a wide smile at that response. "That machine, yes. I'm very interested in it. It looks to be a unique, personal design of sorts, am I correct?"

"Yeah, it's a tough close-quarters combat machine." You replied. "Perhaps after the three-day break, I can bring you to the Ironside Quadripartite with me? There are tons more machines over there." Sandrone's face simply beamed with happiness and excitement. "Oh, I am honored to have such a privilege, your grace."

Dottore and Pantalone didn't look too happy about it, and the former expressed his distaste. "Don't get too full of yourself, Sandrone. The divine creator should love all of us equally, yes?"

"Yeah, I-I don't think I should be playing favorites. Well, maybe except for the Tsaritsa, haha." You couldn't notice it, but te Tsaritsa silently blushed at the thought of being your favorite. She would do absolutely anything for you, no matter the cost.

"Well, I'll just set something straight. So today isn't technically day one, right? I only just got here, after all." You asked, and Columbina stopped her singing to respond.

"Yes, tomorrow the three days officially start. Tomorrow, you get to spend the time doing whatever you wish. Tomorrow, we get to repay you for keeping Her Majesty and us strong. But there's still time today for you to do one more thing before we get you to bed. All you've been through must have been tiresome." Columbina said while looking at you, a soft, calming smile on her face.

"Well, uh, if that's the case, do you have any archives of my divine self?" You responded, eager to find out more about yourself.

Genshin Impact owned by miHoYo.

Iron Harvest 1920+ owned by KING Art Games.

[teslacoils-and-hubris]

stop holding back, talk about your oc

Anon you're playing a dangerous game telling me to talk about any of my ocs but especially ocs for the fandoms I'm currently obsessing over

So because most tf2 ocs are mostly just self inserts that don't play around with the whole joke of their characters designs (totally valid and I also do it), I wanted to play in the space and make someone that i could reasonably see ending up in tf2 in a different world, hence my anti violence hippy who somehow ended up as a merc using chemical weapons to kill people! Everything about this character is at its core an attempt at being funny that is probably only funny to me lol. The rest is under the read more cause it got long

Anyways meet the chemist! I imagine he's functionally sort of a cross between demoman and pyro, one weapon being a sort of delayed fire trap similar to demos stickybombs but instead of bombs they're aerosol gas weapon canisters that create a sort of poison cloud that gives damage if you run through it that adds up the longer you stay in a cloud. His second weapon is basically a recolor of pyros flamethrower except chemical/acid spray instead of fire, it has a certain time it gives damage for similar to afterburn. I haven't figured out what his meele weapon is yet, but I imagine he does have a two person taunt where he puts a flower in their gun

Backstory wise it's basically what I said before, he was just a weird hippy hitchhiking around, making and doing drugs, and getting suckered into newage spiritual cults. He found he was pretty skilled with a chemistry set and started playing around making highly illegal chemical weapons for fun and probably used them at some anti violence protests he was at, which eventually got him scouted by miss pauling to avoid legal charges by moving down to New Mexico and putting his skills to use. He thought he was being pulled into a new cult and just went along with it and was honestly pleasantly surprised to find out it wasnt another cult. Nice change of pace :)

Personality wise he's pretty chill. Susceptible to suggestion and 100% believes in aliens but isn't so into the whole new age stuff that it's apparent until you get to know him and he mentions off hand that he was abducted by aliens and told the secrets of the universe one night. Firmly against the idea that aliens built the pyramids or had any real role in human civilization until roswell because the aliens told him so. I imagine he talks like Bill and Ted. This is critical he may be anti violence but he has absolutely no moral problems about fucking people up and even killing them. His problem was doing it as a job but he was totally cool beating up assholes for free. He had a bit of a clash with his new job at first, but when told he could do his damn job or leave in a body bag he got over it pretty quick

When it comes to the other mercs, there's plenty of opportunity for chaos as always. I imagine he gets along well enough with engi and demo, talking about engineering and chemistry needed in all their jobs and just hanging out. I imagine a sort of running gag with scout where scout complains about his lack of game to chemist and chemist, who is a freak and a weirdo and looks like a wet rat, regales him with some story that somehow ends with him getting laid despite all odds and scout being angry/jeleous/confused/come on?? This guy?? About it. Spy hates him cause he's gross and weird and all to touchy Feely and constantly tries to get the group to be emotionally open. Smokes with sniper in the woods. Honestly kind of creeped out by medic I don't have a reason I just feel it in my bones it took a while for them to warm up to eachother. Running joke were soldier calls him a hippy and he just shrugs and agrees and makes soldier even madder

Anyways I'm not happy with my design for him yet but have this first draft design that I do like but doesn't feel like it fits the aesthetic of tf2 enough for me, the half visible emblem is based on chemical hazard information symbols and will also probably get reworked at some point

[shadowqueen402]

How would Aria defeat The TerraBlaster 4000?

Included in the TerraBlaster’s abilities:

Heavy Armor

360 Degree Rotating Treads

Weaponry: Missile pods, flamethrowers, gatling guns, rocket launchers, bazookas and quasar ion cannons

The TerraBlaster 4000 isn’t quick due to his heavy armor, but makes up for it by being able to move nimbly in any direction. Plus, his missiles will keep chasing after the target until they hit their mark. And no, that trick of flying up a wall while being chased by them to destroy them isn’t gonna work ‘cause they’ll follow the target up said wall. Neither is making them collide with each other. That also won’t work. And guess what? If an obstacle is in the way of their target, they will veer around said obstacle and hit their intended target anyway. But those are the least of Aria’s problems—the TerraBlaster 4000 is armed to the teeth after all. She has his gatling guns, quasar ion cannons, rocket launchers, flamethrowers and bazookas to worry about too, meaning she’ll have an extremely bad time getting close. This Negaboss is born from Larz being mocked for his losing streak by others.

(Your oc's Nega boss sounds rather…overpowering, no offense. Also, does he have a weak spot like most of the Nega bosses do?)

First of all, Aria won't fight the Nega boss alone. Especially since, odds are, Balan would be the one to warn her of how dangerous it is. So she would have Balan by her side to help her fight.

Second of all, Aria would struggle, but manage, to find out how to defeat this Nega boss. It won't be easy, but she won't stand down.