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#gotta make more research before i make actual post about it
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Shout-out to Cats Warsaw costume department for trying so hard to make Alonzo and Michał's Munk look bigger than Kris' Misto, while at the same time trying to make Misto look smaller than them
All that while the 3 actors were the same built and around the same height
And for somehow somewhat succeeding
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ipoddymouth · 1 year
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nooooooo but the way the matty healy misinformation committee has taken off.....election season gonna be fuckin AWFUL
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endless-weightless · 4 days
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Ford Pines x GN!reader headcanons!
I'm surprised it took me this long to get into Gravity Falls. Anyways this has both SFW and NSFW so beware. There's also a brief mention of being AFAB as a possibility but other than that it's completely gender neutral (I'm 99% sure, I didn't proofread too well lol).
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SFW
Right off the bat, I’m saying he’s autistic because so am I and I said so.
If you’re someone who needs reassurance or is generally anxious/paranoid about anything he’ll go into long (often scientific) explanations to ease your mind and also throw in some fun facts.
Both a listener and a yapper. He loves nothing more than the sound of your voice but also loves being able to spout all sorts of things about his research and interests while you stare at him lovingly.
Can’t sleep unless you’re next to him. You don’t even need to be cuddling, your presence is just the one thing he needs to fall asleep.
That being said, he will NEVER pass up an opportunity to cuddle. Watching a movie? Cuddling. Working at his desk in the lab? Cuddling on his lap. Cooking something in the kitchen? He’s got his arms wrapped around you as he presses loving kisses into your temple.
He rarely swears, but when he does it always makes you do a double-take (and maybe giggle because it sounds so odd coming from him).
Probably tried weed once or twice in the '70s and was somewhat part of the psychedelic rock scene. Stan has some old photos of him during that time somewhere but Ford is absolutely mortified by the idea of you seeing him in bell-bottom jeans.
It doesn’t matter how long you two have been together, every time he sees you he feels the same as he did the day you two met. Ford will never stop becoming flustered at the sight of you.
Post-Weirdmaggedon he became very anxious at the thought of you being out alone or not being near him. He feels like he needs to be on guard at all times so that he can protect you. He eventually calms down after some reassurance from you and a fuck ton of therapy.
While he lacks some emotional intelligence he’s actually very attentive and knows exactly what you need when you’re upfront about your feelings. As long as you’re not vague and communicate, he knows what to do to help you.
Adding onto that, I think he briefly studied psychology in college so he’d have a pretty good understanding of any mental health issues you might have.
Said “No more Mr Nice Guy” one time and hasn’t heard the end of it from anyone.
NSFW
Has to stop himself from cumming too quickly when you tell him how good he’s making you feel. Stroking his ego (and other things) is the best way to get him horny.
Will always ask you for consent no matter what it is. You could be mid-fuck and he’d still ask if he could put his hands on your hips.
This is just my personal headcanon but I believe while he didn’t really have too much experience before he got stuck on the other side of the portal (probably hooked up with Fiddleford once or twice tho), I fully believe that after a few years of dimension-hopping, he would’ve had a few one-night stands (mans gotta blow off some steam). So when he gets the chance to fuck you, a real human from his dimension, he’s more than ecstatic, especially since he’s picked up more than a few tricks over the past thirty years.
Knows how to use all twelve of his fingers.
Since Ford was sucked into the portal in the early ’80s and spent thirty years in there, he’s super confused when you mention shaving down there or being embarrassed about your body hair (if you do either) since the last time he was around everyone preferred going all natural.
This one’s less sexy but I’m putting it here anyways. He avoided taking off his shirt for ages since he didn’t want you to see all the scars he’d gotten over the years or any of the tattoos related to the things he did in the portal, especially the ones related to Bill. Surprisingly not as insecure about his “Flirty Gal” tramp stamp.
Doesn’t understand that he’s ridiculously hot. 
You jokingly said “Yes sir” one time and he got hard so quickly.
Although he does rather enjoy you taking the lead.
Loves experimenting with cock warming and edging. Literally. He’ll time the both of you and have everything written down somewhere and draw a graph with extra info like if you’re someone with a menstrual cycle and how that affects the results.
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killergee · 2 months
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Hi, hi! First thing first, im in love with your hoshina x designer weapon reader! It's really warm my heart!! (I LOVE IT TO THE CORE HEHBFJSHDHC😭🫶🫶🫶 BLESS U)
Can i request you (this is kinda awkward) i want to see Highschool AU! For Hoshina x Reader. Kendo player! Hoshina x Archer! Reader👉👈 i would love to see them bantering each other (of if it's not Highschool AU! You can use the close range user! Bf x long range user! Gf thing!)
Thank you!
Ahhh my first request, how exciting! Sorry for posting so late. So many things have been happening lately. Also had to do some research and ended up watching tsurune LOL.
Here's a bunch of little stories of your life as Archer! Reader x Kendo! Hoshina.
Part 2 (one shot)
Synopsis: The club captains of the kendo and the kyudo (archery) club don't seem to get along. Or rather, that's how the club members see it.
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"Oi, what do ya think you're doing? The kendo club's got this gym booked for today."
Toppled on top of each, the members of the kendo club huddled nervously outside the door to their gym. They could only take small peaks and glances from their place as they were all too scared to step foot inside.
All except one.
The Captain of the Kendo team, Hoshina, was the only one who dared to enter the gym. Standing tall with his arms crossed, he gave you a menacing glare.
Rising from your kneeling position, you exhaled a tired breath and put your training bow down. "Oh, sorry, I didn't see your name on the registrar, so I presumed the gym was empty and booked it." Despite the courteous words, your apology dripped of insincerity and a smidge of condescension. "Had you actually done your job correctly, this could've been avoided."
The members of your own club shifted awkwardly. Exchanging knowing glances, they braced themselves to watch their Captain go at it once again with the rival club Captain.
Hoshina lets out a scoff as he rolled his eyes at your attitude. He ignored your comment and continued on with his interrogration. "What are ya even doing here, ya can't shoot in here. Why aren't you in the kyudo hall?"
"It's under repair, and kyudo isn't only about shooting. I gotta teach the newbies the correct form before they can even touch a bow." You stated before offering a fake smile. "Why don't you go build your stamina with some laps? It's not good to slack on basic fitness."
"Shouldn't I be saying that to you? When's the last time ya used your legs?"
After a brief moment, Hoshina flashed his own small smile, although there was nothing friendly behind it. He leaned down until his face was a mere couple inches from yours. He knew you hated the height difference. That you hated the fact that there was something he had over you. Going by the tiniest twitch in your perfectly crafted smile, he knew he was right.
"Hey, give me the room, and I'll play nice and let you watch us practice. Maybe then you'll learn something of actual worth." He suggested, feeling a deep satisfaction at the slight clench of your fist.
"I don't understand the need to swing a big sword. Overcompensating for something?"
"Ah, and I suppose hitting a massive target from far away is much more impressive."
"Oh my, if you think a target that's only thirty-six centimeters is massive, then I'm definitely worried for you."
"Are dick jokes the only jokes you can make? Are you a child?"
"Sorry, did I hit too close to home?"
A vein popped on his cheek. He could never really get a handle on your snake-like tongue.
Everyone felt the heavy tension and chill in the air. The first years had trouble believing that the two people squabbling like children were their beloved Captains.
You were known for your kindness and elegance. But you knew when to be soft and when to push harder. Where you went, people's eyes would follow whether consciously or not. You were the most talented kyudo archer the school has ever seen and an equally good captain.
Hoshina was among the top strongest kendo player in the division. Diligent. Attentive. Trustworthy. His laidback attitude attracted a lot of people, but when his serious nature slipped through during matches—that's when it was impossible to take your eyes off of him.
You two rarely crossed paths, but when you did, it was a blood bath. You two brought out the worst in each other. Or maybe you simply brought out each other's competitive streak.
All the members of their respective club could only pray for the day the two of you stop bickering.
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"I heard you guys passed the preliminaries," you said as you sat and watched him practice. It was late into the evening, and only the two of you were still in school. You had locked up the kyudo hall but saw how the lights were still on in the kendo dojo. Curiosity got the best of you, and you went to see who was still practicing.
"Congrats," you said quietly, barely audible to anyone around you.
"Oh, sorry, what was that? Awww, are ya congratulatin' me? I'm so honoured, oh, glorious captain." He jested back, pausing his activities against the training dummy. He stopped because he's had enough practice and shouldn't overexert himself. He definitely didn't stop because he wouldn't hear you against the sound of the strikes.
"Whatever, your opponents were shit anyways. It would've been harder for you to lose."
He lets out a low whistle at your words.
"Way to ruin the moment." He said, beginning to take off his armor. Placing his wooden sword at the stand, he peeled off his gloves.
Then, realization hit Hoshina, and he froze. The corner of his lip curled into a dangerous smirk as he turned to look at you.
"Wait, does that mean ya watched me compete?"
You flushed a pretty shade of pink and looked away from his amused eyes.
"Well, we're hosting the tournament this year, and I happened to pass by the dojo, so I just took a look."
"Right..." He chuckled. "Your preliminaries are tomorrow, right?"
You nod your head as you get up from your spot. The way you stretched your arms above your head reminded him of a cat.
"Yup, and we're gonna show you guys why we're number one in the division, unlike you guys who are only what again? Right, second."
"Hope you miss." He grunted in response. Though, despite the gruff words, Hoshina found that there wasn't actually any bite to his remarks nowadays. His once heated bitter words are now nothing more than poorly disguised teases.
At hearing your chuckle, he looked up at you, and his breath catches in his throat.
"Me? Miss?"
The look in your eyes was hypnotizing.
"Never."
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Why others seemed to admire you was beyond Hoshina's understanding. You were immature, vain, cocky, rude, and knew exactly which buttons to push to annoy him. If people saw the side of you he got to see, they would run for the hills.
Walking from the main school building to the dojo, he heard the faint but recognizable sound of the kyudo bow releasing an arrow.
Ah, that's right. You should be playing right now.
He stopped in his place as he looked to the direction of the sound. He had to pass the kyudo hall anyway to get to the dojo, is what he told himself before he changed course to take the longer route to the dojo.
There was a crowd gathered around the hall by the time he made it there. Not wanting to be seen, he kept to the edges of the crowd but still in a good enough spot that he had a good view of the archers.
Hoshina thinks to himself that he'll only stay to watch your first shot as he watched you ceremoniously kneel with your bow and arrow.
However, he found himself stuck in his place as he watched your elegant and meticulous gestures. Like a moth to a flame, he couldn't tear his eyes away from your figure as you drew your bow. He didn't know much about kyudo, but he couldn't help but think that your draw was beautiful.
Everything about you screamed confidence and assurance. With the twang of the bow string, the arrow released and hit dead centre of the target.
Like always.
By the time he realized he's stayed longer than he should've, you had fired 5 shots. Not a single arrow missed the target.
The cocky smile that bloomed on your face as you lowered the bow and admired your work made his heart race.
Huh... so that's why so many people are head over heels for you.
He left before your team could celebrate the victory.
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As the season continued, you two made it a habit to stay later than usual when practicing. Whoever would finish first would go to the other and watch or tell them to pack it up.
As captains in your last year, both of you needed to win your tournaments.
"Don't ya ever get tired? Or are the rumours true and you're actually a robot?" Hoshina said with his head resting on his bag as he sat and watched you.
"Only partly, actually," you quipped back before drawing another arrow. "One more shot."
"And how many times have ya said that?" He asked looking at your target filled with dozens of arrows. Unlike what he was used to seeing, a third of your shots were off target.
"Can't afford to miss. "
"Ya need to go home."
"No"
Hoshina rolled his eyes at your stubborness. "You think this is going to help ya? You're just burnin' yourself out."
Although you lowered your bow at that, your focus does not move away from your target. "We were one point away from not advancing to finals. I need to be perfect. My team is depending on me. I can't afford to drag my team down or disappoint them."
At one point in time, he'd have paid someone to bring you down a peg. Now, however, his heart twisted at seeing you doubting yourself.
"Listen, I know the pressure better than anyone else. This tournament is important to me too. But ya just need to have faith in the skills that you've built up over these years. You've earned the title of best kyudo player for a reason." He sat up straighter when you finally turned to look at him. Rubbing the back of his neck, he continued, "also, have faith in your team. They've worked hard and don't want to disappoint you either. Don't forget you're in a team, afterall."
You stared at him for a moment before giggling. Your giggle turned into a full-blown laugh at his pout.
"Now why's that so funny?"
"No, no," you managed to say as you try to collect your composure. "I just never imagined getting a pep talk from my arch nemesis."
A smile replaced Hoshina's pout. "I'm your arch nemesis?"
"Aren't I yours?" You jested back as you began putting away your equipment.
Were you? Arch nemesis wouldn't be the words he'd use to describe you. He didn't quite like the idea of you only being a rival to him.
His on the other hand. Now, that didn't sound too bad.
With your back turned to him, he called out to you, making you turn to him.
"Here."
You caught whatever he threw at you before it could hit you. Sitting in your palm was a key chain with a cat shaped charm, and beside it, an omamori charm with the embroidery "victory."
"Hasn't really been working on me, so you might as well try it," he said, looking rather bashful.
You let out another laugh at his actions. "Can't be owing you, here's mine," you said amused, removing the charm that hung on your bag and tossing it to him.
"It might give you my luck, but I doubt it'll be able to give you my amazing skills. So don't put too much pressure on it."
The charm was of a heart with an arrow through it and a wooden good-luck charm with the engraving "grind them to dust."
"How fitting," hoshina said outloud as he held the charm in his palm.
"Oh yea," you chuckled. "The statement is quite aggressive, but I thought it was funny"
"Hmmm? Oh yea, that too." Before you could even think twice about his statement, he closed his palm around the charm and gave you a determined look.
"Let's win this."
You couldn't help but smile. "That goes without saying."
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Bonus:
"Hey, isn't that Hoshina's charm?" One of your club members asked curiously as they stretched on the ground. Although the rest of the members pretended they weren't listening in, they were dying to know why you had it. They were able to spot it right away when they saw it on your school bag. It was the charm that Hoshina kept on his bag for all the years they've known him. They also couldn't forget how the Kendo members were forced to stay after school to search for the charm when he lost it.
"Yeah," you responded matter of factly as you stood and watched them.
"Why? I thought you two hated each other?"
"Now, who ever told you that?" You responded slyly.
Their mouths hung open at your statement. Were you gaslighting them? Or were you just pretending you didn't pick a fight with Hoshina every chance you got.
"Oi, y/n hurry up. I'm hungry"
At the voice, they all snapped their heads to look at the owner of the charm himself. Leaning against the doorframe, he was in his school uniform with his bag tucked under his arm.
"Yea, yea, coming old man, don't be so pushy," you said, making your way towards him. When he turned to head out, the members saw your unforgettable charm hanging from his bag.
"You buying lunch this time or is it my turn?" They heard you say as the both of you walked by the window of the gym.
"Don't remember. Let's just say it's my turn. " Hoshina responded with what they think was a smile.
"What the fuck just happened."
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heavenlyraindrops · 6 months
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smut writing tips (TW: sexual stuff cause like. Cmon. It’s smut)
I did one for character so now I’m doing one for smut what’s wrong with smut huh so what if I’m writing tips on how to make smut so what SO WHAT HUH
Smut scenes aren’t that different from normal scenes. Probably because they’re normal scenes. Remember that.
Therefore, they should have dialogueeee because boy oh boy the amount of smut I have read where they are just dead silent is insane I could rebuild the wall of china with allat
so… dirty talk
BUT DONT MAKE IT TOO LONG! OR TOO WEIRD…
“Do you think they’d watch?” he asks. “Do you think they’d enjoy the sight of your naked flesh on display? Maybe they would get off on seeing your dripping pussy reflected back at them everywhere they look. Or the pretty flush on your chest when you come. I think they’d even enjoy watching your eyes roll to the back of your head when my cock fills you so fully, you can’t fit any more of me inside you.”
That’s from haunting Adeline… and… just.. no. NONONONO ITS DISGUSTING ITS GROSS…. WHO TF SAYS THAT BRO. Why is tHIS BOOK SO POPuLAR
more gross examples: “You want to know what I’d do?” he questions. “I would let them watch. I would let them watch me claim you as mine and own every inch of your body. They would watch my cock fill every one of your holes and then watch you cry because of how hard you came. And then I’d fucking kill them. My cock would still be wet from your cum as I’d slice their throats for even daring to look at what’s mine.”
dont write like that guys… like ew. Just ew
also.. epithets.. ok idk what they’re called because English = not my first language but
like
”his member” “sword” “love button” “seed” “her peaks/ nubs”
look my dude if you can read a smut scene like “he inserted his sword inside her cavern and spewed his seed inside her while fondling her mounds” then sure pop off I guess but tbh
no.
JUST USE COCK DICK AND PUSSY OR SOMETHING IDK WHY U GOTTA DO THIS TO ME I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SEE CERTAIN THINGS THE SAME WAY EVER AGAIN
“his member” I’m sorry is his dick joining a club?
anywaysysystst
research human body stuff. Like, dicks need to recharge before they get hard again yk
“Recharge” idk bro yk what I mean
cumming more than once for women do be kinda painful unless there’s an amount of time in between the orgasms
like depends on the woman, can range from a couple of hours to at least a whole day
although this doesn’t apply to everyone and some people do just go for it a bunch of times in one session so it’s a very variable thing
so yeah! Make sure to educate urself on biology
spemd more time talking about how they feel physically and emotionally than what they are doing so that the scene actually does have some depth
consistency! I have read shit that goes along the lines of “he grabbed her waist then with his other hand stroked her cheek and then she wrapped her legs around his feet and he pressed his elbow againts her knee flipping her upside down while she nibbled on his ear” how am I supposed to imagine any of that
they keep sprouting a third arm
or do things that completely contradict the position that they are in.. he can’t slap ur ass if ur in the cowgirl position..well, not very comfortably
so. Consistency! :)
that’s all for now ermmmm so yah tell me if this was helpful guys
edit: this post is super old pls ignore its existence
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beneathsilverstars · 27 days
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been doing research on writing plural systems for sif+loop in mundane modern aus, and i think i've got a solid idea of what i want to do! specifics may vary by au but i wanted a base set of headcanons to vary from, so sif+loop being a system can be a background fact of my au musings instead of something i have to reinvent every time.
(i'm a singlet so if any systems have concrit or thoughts they want to share i'd be happy to hear it! i'm not like planning a fic or anything currently, but it's still nice to not be working off of misconceptions for my silly little posts.)
siffrin took over as the main host in their late teens and doesn't remember anything from before that. in their early-mid 20s their work/housing situation was horrible and when they couldn't take another day like that, siffrin split into loop (who kept the mid 20s memories, with a new personality) and siffrin take two (who remembers the 17-20 era a bit better, but then there's a big gap). between the two of them they were able to cope better and hold a not-as-awful job and get a shitty apartment all to themselves!
siffrin fronts more often on average, because they're better at quietly accomplishing day-to-day tasks. but if he gets too overwhelmed or anxious (think their mini loop-backs in canon) then loop takes over, bc loop dgaf about some of the things siffrin worries about, and doesn't shut down as easily. but since they don't bottle up their feelings as severely, they're more likely to react outwardly and make rash choices like quitting their job, being rude, splurging on little treats, etc. so that's why siffrin is the default fronter for things like work and chores, when he's feeling up to it.
loop is fairly aware of what's going on while siffrin is fronting - sometimes they choose to tune more of it out, but they can catch most of it if they want to, and sometimes siffrin will talk to them or nudge them to pay attention. since they know at least the basics of what siffrin was up to, they can usually step in pretty smoothly when they need to take over! and it's very easy for them to take over, with or without siffrin's say-so, though they try to ask if it's not an emergency (and if it is an emergency, siffrin is likely trying to back away from the front anyway).
when loop is fronting, though, siffrin is entirely away, dreaming in the void. loop can nudge them for a vague opinion or relevant memory, but they can't hold a full conversation and they're not aware of what loop's doing. when loop puts them in the front again they're usually disoriented and need a moment for loop to tell them what's been happening. and again, loop is the one deciding to switch; sometimes siffrin might resist getting pulled back if they're still feeling bad, or get antsy and start reaching out if they've been asleep a while or are having bad dreams, but they're not gonna react to environmental situations since they're not aware of them.
mal is in there too but doesn't front. its role is to be socially hyper-vigilant, pointing out when other people might be upset at them so the alter who's fronting knows to fix it or avoid the person. it's been around longer than siffrin, and was helpful way back then, but now that siffrin and loop have worked out an effective balance and are fairly safe, mal's behavior is somewhat maladaptive (ha!). it's not super directly aware of the outside world like loop is, not anymore at least, but it does get secondhand memories from both siffrin and loop. it actually sometimes remembers facts and details that sif and loop both quickly forgot, because maybe those details will end up relevant to spotting and avoiding future problems - but since it got the memories secondhand and filtered them through a particularly paranoid worldview, it's likely to misremember subjective interpretations as literal truth, so you gotta take its claims with a grain of salt.
it mostly hangs out in the void imagining fractals and whatnot these days, keeping an eye on siffrin while they sleep. it occasionally perks up and chimes in with its pessimistic point of view when siffrin is really upset - it can communicate better with sleeping siffrin than loop can. loop is not on speaking terms with it because they're mad that it goes behind loop's back and makes siffrin more upset right when loop is trying to shield him from the upsetting situation. but siffrin doesn't mind it bc it's just trying to help in its own way, and sometimes it is helpful to face their fears in plain words instead of avoiding them. and siffrin will sometimes ask it for help with like, puzzles, because it's good at pattern recognition.
there's also a no-longer-quite-dormant alter that presumably fronted for much of the body's childhood. they don't hang out in siffrin and mal's void, and they don't talk to anyone else within the system. but now that the system is more safe and stable, every once in a while something will catch their attention and they'll gently push to the front and start talking. as soon as their train of thought is interrupted they're gone again, and the other alters don't even remember that they got usurped for a moment, a la siffrin's bits of telling childhood anecdotes in canon. loop and siffrin have surmised that they exist, and call them the lost one.
mal has also implied that there's at least one more dormant alter, but it's from before siffrin-and-loop's time and possibly mal's as well.
if something happens that's so distressing that siffrin retreats into headspace and loop won't take over either, the body goes into dissociated autopilot. it will follow basic one-step instructions (such as "follow me" or "eat this"), speak in a couple simple scripts (such as answering "how are you" with "i'm fine"), and complete rote tasks such as taking a familiar route home from work or going to bed. loop doesn't pay much attention because that would defeat the point / put them back in front, so they usually have very little if any idea of what happened in this state, but it is possible for outside events to catch their attention enough for them to try fronting again. otherwise they'll be back next time the body wakes up. siffrin, on the other hand, usually won't front for at least a day or two after this happens, and will likely have forgotten the events leading up to it as well.
it doesn't happen very often since it's the very last resort, after siffrin dissociating, loop taking over, and loop dissociating. loop and siffrin don't consider the autopilot an alter because it doesn't form memories, have emotions or opinions, or interact in the headspace; it just follows where it's led, by habit or outside influence. loop has argued in favor of trying to imbue it with more personhood so it's less uncanny for other people to interact with and can get loop's attention when the distressing thing is over, but siffrin argues that if it can think that defeats the point, and they'd just end up with this new alter and a new autopilot.
past all that, the specifics will depend on the exact au; particularly the ratio of loop time to siffrin time will depend on how much siffrin works and how awful their job is, whether siffrin and/or loop have friends yet, etc. but i think when they're doing pretty well they'd be happy with siffrin doing work/chores and most of the activities that they both enjoy (since then they'll both remember it), and loop fronting for maybe a third of their free time to do their own thing, and maybe here and there if something goes wrong at work. and then if siffrin starts feeling burnt out, they swap for a couple days of loop doing most things and siffrin just coming out for an hour or two. siffrin and mal probably talk maybe a couple times a month, unless siffrin is really going through it, in which case they might talk a lot for a couple days. it also might be possible for mal to eventually adapt a little more to being safe, and start providing a wider range of possible interpretations instead of just the worst case scenario.
ok that's all! and as i said, i'm totally open to feedback. :3
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ropes3amthoughts · 14 days
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Kabru popping out of a bush. To find more of this search “Kabru bush.”
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Before posting this I bravely volunteered myself to search up “Kabru bush” and make sure this wouldn’t actually make people search up something inappropriate. Of course, this is because I care about my audience and I would totally make sure it is ok for people to look up things like this and not for any other reason. Google suggested bushes near the Kabru mountain and the images were of Kabru fanart (in one of them he was actually in a bush), the mountain Kabru, and some random clothes called Kabru. The Tumblr search results were mostly people being like “Kabru just popping out of the bushes lmao,” and only one of them seemed to reference what I was joking about. Anyways, after my extensive research on this topic, I think it’s safe to say that this is a harmless joke and even if people did look up “Kabru bush,” they would not actually find anything inappropriate.
No need to thank me for my brave sacrifice, I would do anything for my loyal fans, even spending hours of my day looking up “Kabru bush.” For my fans. This was research for my fans. To make sure this was an ok joke to post. You just can’t be thorough enough, you know? Gotta double check. Gotta be sure. Gotta do my best for anybody who might be seeing this. It’s very important to do research. For the audience. This research was for my audience and not for any other reason. /lie
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merakiui · 30 days
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OOOOOOO ur cooking mera 👀
All that disgust riddle feels is just thinly veiled sexual tension!! God help if criminal reader committed a crime of passion because riddle is going to learn how to love in all the wrong ways.
I like the thought of reader catching on to sweet riddles train of thought and slowly injecting more innuendos into her letters. How the food is so hard in her mouth and hot to eat that she's panting afterwards. The clothes are so constricting it feels like being tied up (she has intuition he has a bondage kink) and most of all how so very lonely she is. She's not stopping even after all the letters she receives are stained with musty droplets, the salt on the paper isnt tears.
Reader doesn't care that she's stringing him along. After all he writes on the finest stationary, is enrolled in a top university and refers to his parents as 'mother and father'. He reeks of money and she needs to make bail. A girl's gotta do what a girls gotta do 🤷‍♀️
AAAAAAA ANON!!!!! THIS IS SO YUM!!!! OTL
Darling using every trick in the book to charm Riddle into getting her out of jail,,,,, that's so good!! And of course he falls for it because he doesn't know what real romance is. His parents are an abysmal example of that, and he's never truly been in love himself. When you send back letters with the sweetest, most flowery of words, he thinks it's genuine. At first, going into the project, he was wary because you're a criminal and so he expects you to lie and twist the narrative whenever he sends interview questions. But now his suspicions are clouded over by these complex feelings he's never known before.
If anyone were to peek into his dorm room and see all of the letters he's posted to his cork board, they'd think he was taking this assignment a little too seriously. It's obsessive, the way Riddle clings to your words. He's done so much research, filled an entire notebook with details and information, scoured every reputable source that's covered your story. He knows your entire life's story like the back of his hand; he can list all kinds of facts about you. If anyone asks why he knows so much or why he even cares, he just tells them he must do so if he's to hand in a perfect journalistic report worthy of full marks to the professor. Although it may be difficult to stay completely objective when he's in this deep...
It's immensely ironic that he, a law student, has become so obsessed with an actual criminal, so much so that he's looking at the amount set for your bail and truly considering.
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applesandbannas747 · 3 months
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i wanna hear your thoughts on the fence challengers: long shot preview pages if you want to share!
oh mAN I have so many and they are all over the place!!
The first one is a little thing, but I bet Seiji had a crush on Marcus Washington when he was a kid--Nick's horror, Harvard's teasing, and Seiji's indignant blush imply as much.
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And a fun fact, Jo posted a mini preview of baby Seiji to Patreon on February 14th...maybe I'm reading into it too much, but that's nothing new XD
Next couple of things are about the scene with the trophy case. It was really interesting and fun to see side-by-side redraws of Robert! It really illustrates the way the style has evolved, and also I gOTTA say it feels like Jo is more invested in Robert based on the level of detail she put in--like it's not just a style comparison, it's also just obvious a lot of attention was put into these shots when a) she could have just reused old shots (which she's done before, so I know it was an option), or kept it more simplified like she did when drawing the original shots.
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I also think it's sweet that the redraws have Robert looking much more like Jesse than the originals.
And I am sure I will get flack for this, but I have incredible second-hand embarrassment from Nick leaving his newspaper clipping + note in the trophy case jfhdasl like bestieee noooo anyone can see that shit now oh my god please stooop
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Onto some Nichoji thoughts! I love that Seiji's been confirmed as a before-bed reader! Him having a Kindle makes sense for the sheer efficiency of it too lmfao. Of course it's also adorable to see him in reading glasses <3 And then my favorite detail is Nick's stupid nightlight...notice where it is?
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Rather than illuminating Nick's side of the room, it's peeking around the curtain and lighting up Seiji's reading, which is beyond adorable and sweet. I wonder whether Seiji stole it or Nick put it there knowing Seiji likes to read before bed, and I love both scenarios.
Also, it's fucking adorable that as soon as Nick mentions their date appointment, Seiji takes off his glasses and lowers his Kindle because it's got his full attention and investment.
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And a quick pitstop to the locker rooms!
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I like the visual metaphor here with Aiden and Bobby both very casual about changing and both literally having their shirts open; meanwhile, Seiji's straightening the cuffs on his button-down, which is already neatly tucked in and complete with his tie. It just highlights how Seiji's a lot more closed off than the others, and I think this was a neat trick to remind us of that.
In regards to plot, I'm still...really disappointed in the pacing. I know most people feel like it's a slowburn/it's taken a long time to develop, but if you waited to read Fence at all until it was complete and then read it all in one sitting, I think you'd see how unbalanced it is. Williams says that their first match will be in three weeks back right after tryouts:
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which means everything between issue 12 and CHALLENGERS has happened in 3 weeks. Seiji and Nick's relationship is so sweet and cute, but it went from resentful rivalry to puppy love overnight with very little 'screen time' dedicated to the actual transition from resentment to friends (which I could write a whole essay on but this is not the post for that lmfao). Furthermore, the fact that it's the first match of State Championships rather than first match of the season is crazy to me. I'll admit, I didn't fence in high school--it wasn't even an option because we didn't have a team. And despite hours of research, the structure of high school team fencing is not entirely clear to me. However, I do know that typical high school sports go through the season, facing every other team in their division or whatever. Based on performance in those matches, they can qualify for state, and then their win ratio determines their seeding order for the state championships that happen in like 1-2 days. Seeding order is who you go up against in a bracket, so it's what this diagram is, basically:
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(side note, but it appears there are 24 schools competing at state). Again, fencing could be different, but it kinda seems to me like we skipped over the season and went right to State Championships, which just cuts out so much development and build-up. It's like we're speed-running the entire story to get to the end faster. We cut out showing the development in the romance, and now we're cutting out the development of the plot. There's still plenty that we can do at state, of course, but imagine how much more it would mean to see Nick fencing in front of Robert if we'd built that up more. I just don't understand how we spent 12 issues on try outs, 4 on a practice match, 8 on camp, and none on the fencing season. It feels so abrupt and unbalanced. Tryouts and camp were my favorites arcs because they felt pretty well-paced as self-contained pieces of the story. I just feel like we needed waaaaay more relationship development between those two arcs to be satisfying, and I feel like there should be waaaaay more build up during the fencing season between camp and State Championships.
and now, the moment you've all been waiting for: my devastation over Eugene's role (???) in the story. I honestly question why he's in the story at all--at this point, it would have made more sense to have him flat-out not make the team. Except that keeping him this long lowkey backs up the theory I've had on his role since Striking Distance/RIVALS: Eugene is here to make everyone else look better/cooler/more impressive. The very first thing that struck me when reading the first look was this:
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The dialogue here suggests that only one reserve actually gets to be on the team in the end, and the reserve is Nick. And, worse, everyone expected it to be Nick. Sure, it's sweet that Seiji thinks Nick's the better fencer, but all I can think about is how hard Eugene's worked for ten years trying to make the team as opposed to Nick's three months of fencing. Now, I love an underdog story. But it's interesting because Pacat stated in an interview (I'd have to go find where for the specific quote) that he always feels bad for the person who's been working to be #1 their whole lives only to be knocked out of the running by an upstart underdog--which I've always assumed would influence the path taken in Fence...and it seems like we may well let Seiji and Jesse remain above Nick in skill (or at least it seems like we won't be dethroning Seiji, even if we go for Jesse), but Nick's overcoming smaller obstacles. And those smaller obstacles hurt worse to see crushed because Eugene almost made the team in a way that mattered, only to have that taken away. It would have been less cruel to him and his fans to let Nick take the reserve slot back in issue 12, but instead we brought Eugene along to serve as a means to make Nick out 'secret weapon' and elevate his story.
I will say though, this page is one of my favorite Eugene moments because I see the character I selfishly want Eugene to be in it. From the context of the panels above, this page is likely Williams telling them that only one will be fencing in State Championships, and this is their reaction. Eugene's immediate concern for Nick and the comforting hand on his shoulder followed by a bright smile and a thumbs up--he just cares so much about other people and it so used to smiling through his own pain/disappointment and comforts Nick through being positive (and as seen back in issue 12, up playing his competitiveness) and acting like it's no big deal.
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Eugene deserved better, but if this is where he goes out, I think I can live with it. Better to see him go now than continue to be a means to uplift the rest of team by being less than. but, man, I was really hoping we were turning it around after his moment in REDEMPTION being the only KR boy not to lose his bout
anyway, thank you sm for listening to my rambles!!! <33
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steence · 6 months
Text
im gonna speak up on this. i never do and ive never mentioned it before, but im gonna do it
dear systemscringe,
stop fucking talking over us. stop trying to "help" us. ive been trying to figure out if ive had this disorder for six years. and i probably would have figured it out by now if every time i ever felt the slightest bit of denial i didnt go on your stupid subreddit and scroll. for. hours.
the only person ive told about my questioning is my girlfriend. and even she has said that ive gotta stop worrying that she'll find me "cringe".
every single time i experience a symptom its immediately followed up by me wondering if it was real or if i was somehow subconsciously faking it. everytime i find something i dont remember making, or posting, or doing. my first thought is "how could i managed to have faked this".
i couldnt.
im more than willing to acknowledge that i might have a different disorder. ive done research. i know everything from schizophrenia to autism can be misdiagnosed as osddid.
but ive been denying my symptoms for so long because of your community. because of your people who have to go out of their way to mock people who are very clearly mentally unwell.
i dont care if you have new mods now. i dont care if you've done the research. i dont care if you have "actual systems" who approve of what youre doing. i do like the possum guy though. possum guy rock on.
and the reason i like the possum guy is because they never say someone's definitely faking. they look through their posts, find misinformation, and correct it.
its very scary to post this. im afraid i'll be judged or mocked or cringed at. but whatever im done being cringe.
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tacobellabeanburrito · 6 months
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hello this is Anon again. could you please direct me to your favorite Ace Attorney fics? I’ve read pretty much all the popular ones so I’m looking for some more niche ones :) thank you!!
Oh Anon… You sweet, sweet summer child. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into.
I was already planning on doing an Ace Attorney fic rec list because I wanted to share some of my favorite ones (A lot of the ones I read aren’t on many of the regular fic rec lists, so I wanted to share some ones that I feel like are really good and maybe don’t get enough recognition) So I am very glad you asked Anon, gives me reason to actually continue on my fic rec list! I love sharing my favorite fics!
Most of them are Narumitsu, couple are Krisnix, and some are both. Also a couple stragglers out there without a ship as well. There will also be some smut ones (Don’t judge please lmao) (Also, just saying. There’s no good Krisnix in this fic list, all of it is seen as toxic, I ship them as Toxic Tragic Yuri and they’re not good as a real relationship. Just a disclaimer)
Some will have big blurbs about them from me explaining their plot a little and what I like about them. For others, I’ll just post them because I don’t really feel like talking about them in detail. But I promise they’re all good!
I’m not going to link them this time, cause I dunno how to do that without making a huge mess cause there’s so many and I don’t want my post to be wonky. And I’m also not going to categorize them because I’m eepy and didn’t get enough sleep last night, so you can figure it out yourself Anon lmao.
(But if you can’t find any, please tell me I’ll help)
So, without further ado… Here are my fic recs!
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Fics:
Perfect by Sideblog: My absolute, all time favorite AA fic! Ever! Literally ever! I don't really wanna talk about the plot because that basically spoils the whole thing and I don't wanna do that to you, you just gotta read it! It is beautifully written and has an amazing concept that I would never think of in a million years! Seriously, so criminally underrated to the point of I have no idea how it doesn’t have like 15,000 hits on A3O. Even though I didn't explain much of the plot, just know that it is incredible and absolutely worth a read. I come back to it sometimes to read it because IT IS THAT GOOD. When I first saw this fic I didn’t really know what to expect because there weren’t any warnings or practically anything. Very mysterious fic. So glad I read it, though. When you get done reading this Anon, you gotta tell me what you think.
El Capo A Fine by tellezara: There’s something incredible about specialized Au fics in which you can tell that despite whatever the Au fic is about, the writer has an absolute love for the subject. This one is about musical instruments and Ace Attorney characters being part of an orchestra, and you can tell that this person has done orchestra before (Or at least thoroughly researched it and has a love for it) because they put in so many facts and interesting tidbits about instruments and the orchestra world that I never knew about and I loved learning about all of it. Fics like these are very special in my opinion because those people write it out of pure love for whatever the subject is and whatever the fandom is. Anyway, fic good. (Makes me wanna write an Ace Attorney choir fic, that’s my speciality)
The Miraculous Disappearance of Phoenix Wright by JJsADragon: Was on a road trip when I first read this and literally could NOT. STOP. READING. HAD ME GRIPPED. EDGE OF CARSEAT. The whole plot is basically a parody of "It's A Wonderful Life" where Phoenix ends up in a universe where he was never born. Which, as you can guess, causes a myriad of problems for the legal world and world in general. I had no idea where the plot was going, didn't know how it was going to end, and WAS TERRIFIED. But. I kept reading anyway. IT IS THAT GOOD.
Miles Edgeworth: The Ace Attorney by Charybdia: I SPENT AGES. AGES. Looking for a good, finished Ace Attorney roleswap fic. And when I found this one I STRUCK GOLD. SWEAR IT. Amazing, love this one. Still come back to it. IT’S GOT OBNOXIOUS THEATRE KID PHOENIX WRIGHT, HOW CAN I NOT LOVE IT? It also is accompanied by art Also, also, We get good friend Larry Butz. WHAT MORE COULD YOU ASK FOR?
Carpe Diem (make your lives extraordinary by Elysya): A high school Au featuring theater kid Phoenix, debate kid Miles and third wheel Larry. I loved this one. It’s also just super interesting. The developing relationship between Phoenix and Miles is one that I really like as they’re both messy teenagers and really gotta work out their flaws if they wanna be together.
Begone Dull Care by VivaRockSteady: A good Au fic surrounding patient Miles and nurse Phoenix. Goes into good detail about recovering from suicide and depression, and recovering from other mental health issues. Also check out some of the other fics by this writer. One is an Au of the Truman Show and the other is a Roman/Greek Au that I found incredibly interesting.
if you leave the light on by AngstinSpace: A very good fic. I was reading this one in my study hall and my teacher was playing calming piano music that was kinda sad/melancholic and I started tearing up in class because I was feeling all the emotions. Girl this is good, go read it.
I used to think people were good but now I just think they’re people by thebirdsandtheboxes: SEVERELY UNDERRATED. Super good and goes very in-depth into Phoenix’s disbarment period and how he and his friends and family react. Also has some good Asexual!Miles moments.
This man is not your boyfriend by its_ok_inside: AN AMAZING FIC CENTERING AROUND PHOENIX HAVING AMNESIA AND MILES HELPING HIM DEAL WITH IT. Hilarious. Super funny. I love it. Also is accompanied by some artwork. FUCK YEAH THIS FIC. A classic.
Surviving You by pantswarrior: I’m pretty sure this is an older fic that got moved, and it kinda shows that in its writing (Yk those fics that you can tell were written in the 2000s/early 2010s based on their vocabulary and thoughts on gay relationships? Kinda like that) but it’s good. Very good.
A False Start by theacegrace: A phenomenal fic centered around Bratworth!Miles meeting Feenie!Phoenix and Miles praying that Phoenix doesn’t get accused of murder when he sees Phoenix with Dahlia. Loved this one so much and came back to it a couple times.
Chicago Noel by canonlacrush: A classic. There used to be an Au a while back that everyone was obsessed with and it was a bakery/mafia Au. I wish there were more fics that catered to that Au but they’re hard to find. Anyway, this one is great.
Maybe In Time You’ll Want To Be Mine by YourAverageBystander: A time loop fic that I absolutely adore. Y’all really gotta key in on these Ace Attorney time loop/time travel fics, there’s a couple in here. THEY ARE A TREASURE.
Turnabout Sole by CollaboralDamage: An awesome bodyswap fic. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO FIND BODY SWAP FIC IN THIS FANDOM?! And this one is good. Very good. Liked it a lot.
Shared Work Space by nerdyskeleton: I think the fic’s summary works best here “It was the best of times, it was the worst of time when Miles Edgeworth discovers he likes to be called Daddy”.
Shear Luck by TopazEstrella: One that I didn’t really know what to think of when I first kept seeing it on my search for Narumitsu fics, but I’m very glad I read it. It’s different, but I like it. Has some Krisnix in it.
The Illusion Of Control by Ekat: Amazing. Loved it. Takes place in an alternate universe where Miles died and Gregory didn’t. Has a lot of found family dynamics featuring Mr. Edgeworth, Phoenix and Ray.
Tight Lesh by Ensiy: I come back to this one often. One of the only fics that has good Kristoph and Miles interaction. They’re both catty bitches to each other. Has some Krisnix in it.
Out of Order by canolacrush: A super cute fic where Miles gets a haircut and Phoenix gets a crush. I re-read it a lot because it’s super cute and really fluffy.
With The Phases Of The Moon by Puddor: One I come back to often for a couple of moments. Really love it. One of the good Werewolf!Phoenix and Vampire!Miles fics.
You Ever Been In Love? by hechima: Loved this one a lot. We love the Wright gang trying to matchmake. A classic in terms of AA fics and for good reason.
Observe and Record by MAVEfm: An introspective Miles fic detailing him and his personal journal. I really like this one. Has some Krisnix in it.
Pressing Pursuit ~ Cornered by viviaciousbarkbeast: Love this one. I think this was one of the first AA fics I’ve read. Has some Krisnix in it.
That Man by Sunshine_And_Starlight: A really good fic. It has one of my favorite tropes and I come back to it for certain moments that I really like and wanna read again.
A Badge Of Honor by sunsmasher: Really loved this one. I also come back to re-read it cause it’s just so funny and awkward and hilarious.
Awkward Business by hechima: I’m a sucker for this trope! You’ll see what I mean when you read it. It’s all gold! I still come back to this one.
wait (they don’t love you like I love you) by Samioli: Super good fic detailing Miles finding out about all Phoenix’s past relationships.
parallelogram by zombiekittiez: Such a slay fic, has a strange premise at first BUT we get Shakespeare references so that’s a big plus.
All There Is by sunsmasher: Loved it. A really good look into Krisnix as a relationship and dealing with sexual trauma.
London, 2021 by syailendra: Has a lot of good moments. I come back to this one a lot. Has some Krisnix in it.
Sketched Memories by gen: LOVED THIS ONE. OBSESSED. You just gotta read it. It’s a recent one but VERY GOOD.
Archaeology by sunsmasher: Everyone eats pizza, and truamadumps. Just a typical day at the Wright Anything Agency.
Dancer In The Dark by klaviersimp: Ahhh, I love this fic a lot. It holds a special place in my heart. Little suggestive but I like it.
dig my nails into the wound by gavinnersworldtour: A very good Krisnix fic. Delicious. I love this one.
Temptation by crayoncompanion: An interesting one that I can’t help but really love.
Hot, Sticky, Sweet by mutxnts: A really good fic. I CRAVE a continuation but it’s a one-shot.
Sin. Eater by potatomin: A very good Demon!Miles and Angel!Phoenix fic. Makes you want more.
romance is not dead (if you keep it just yours) by Samioli: This one was just sweet. I liked it a lot.
just desserts by riskphee: YES. YES. Love this one. I still come back to read it.
Thrown Through A Loop by savitaraandsigh: Another time loop fic that I absolutely adore.
From The Top by lazynina: Another Time loop fic that I absolutely adore.
Bespoke by Demus: We love suit kinks.
That Goddamned Idiot That Is Phoenix Wright by fyrebyrd_fta
Kleptomania by Ekat
Working Hazard by lilacSkye
caught in the act by Samioli
I’ll Cover You by nerd4fandoms
my rapt heart by griffonage
Bad dream, good time by notlikelybutpossible
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Series:
7 years under the bridge: A series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.
7 year ache: Another series surrounding Phoenix’s fall and his relationships with Miles and Kristoph respectively.
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And that’s most of them! There’s definately more, but those are the ones that really made an impression on me and that I think about a lot (And also the ones I could find easily without having to check every one of my bookmarks) You can find more that way if you want though! By looking through my bookmarks on A3O that is. That’s what I do sometimes with other A3O members and it’s worked out well (Look for the Buddy Daddies fics in my bookmarks, that’s where most of them start but definitely check my bookmarks, there’s a couple good ones I can’t find at the moment that I know are in there). But I also recommend doing your own research too, it doesn’t seem like fun but when you end up finding one of the hidden gem fics it’s totally worth it.
Here’s some advice, buddy, try to start at the beginning, like go all the way down to the last folder on A3O, but maybe first search for an AA tag that you know will have a smaller fic pool and go from there. And when you find an author you like, try and check out if they have some other AA fics. Most of the writers of the fics I have recommended have more Ace Attorney fics in their arsenal that I’ve read and enjoyed and just didn’t wanna put on here, so check them out!
Btw Anon, if you want the more… Darker fics that I like (There aren’t many, but there’s a couple) DM me because I don’t wanna give those out publicly since it just makes me sorta uncomfy and I don’t want others to be uncomfy. This also goes for smuttier fics that I don’t feel like sharing at the moment.
Sorry if this was a lot Anon, I just love fanfiction, it’s definately one of the more interesting art forms out there, and think a lot of the ones I read deserve to be shared!
(Oh, also, I write fics too Anon. Check out my AA fic if you wanna. Sorry to self-promote but I promise it’s cute!!)
Anyway, that’s all! Goodnight everybody!
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rad-batson · 1 year
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THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS
(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)
Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.
As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.
I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.
There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.
SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS
Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)
If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)
Writing Cass
(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)
Has some sass, has a lot actually
Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip
Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho
I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE
Mostly just relies on body language though
I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)
also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho
Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)
Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)
Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)
Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.
Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing
I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE
Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act
Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*
She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out
She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*
Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis
Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing
Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s
Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists
Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp
Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.
Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)
Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)
Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)
(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)
That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part
OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE
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cha0ticspacebi · 2 years
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Like 91% of the population, you were now and would always be a beta. Except when your roommate moves out suddenly and fate connects you with Alpha Eddie Munson. After that, things start to change.
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (Coming Soon)
Pairing: Alpha Eddie Munson x Female Omega Reader
Word Count: 10.4 k
Tags: Omegaverse and everything that goes with it (knotting, nesting, scenting, heats, ruts, breeding kink, biting, you get the idea), college student reader, mechanic Eddie, panty sniffing but not from who you probably think, reader is a little freak but it's just her new instincts, a few instances were reader expresses body insecurities, talks of infertility, minor Steve Harrington x Chrissy Cunningham, and they were roommates! ⚠️ 21+ MDNI ⚠️
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All through public school sex education classes, you were told that if you didn’t experience signs of presenting during a certain time period, you never would. Most people don’t. That was certainly the case for you. Puberty came and went without the slightest hint of a secondary gender.
Even as society around you exists in the midst of a massive fertility crisis, more than 91% of the population is classified as beta. Experts in the field predicted that with the rapidly declining birth rates that we might see a rise in alpha and omega pairings but so far that has not been the case. No viable differences were seen until last year when the number of known alphas increased by a meager .2%.
Still, many beta couples continue to seek assistance with conceiving a child, which is part of the reason why you decided that would be your field of study. Currently a third year med student at a university, whose promising research in the field is making headlines all over the world, you hoped one day to become a fertility consultant. Helping all those who wish to start a family achieve their dream. 
Ever since you could remember you’ve wanted to help people. In grade school you helped the new student find their way around. You helped the teacher with everyday classroom tasks. Everywhere you went, if you saw someone in need of a helping hand, you provided. Reaching a box of cereal from the top shelf at the grocery store and placing it with a smile in the elderly man’s basket. Helping a lost little girl in the park, you saw on your morning jog, find her mother. Offering to spend your first weekend off in a month helping your roommate move into her new place. Even though that meant you were now a one income dwelling, who wouldn’t be sustained for long on your meager university coffee house earnings.
After helping her, you arrived back to your suddenly empty two bedroom apartment. The immediate urgency for you to find a replacement roommate became very real, very fast. 
The next day you posted fliers all over campus, including the coffee shop, the library, even at the athletic center! You asked your friend Robin to stick some up on the bulletin board at her job as well.
“I actually might know someone,” her eyes flashed quickly from the flier to you, “Someone who could, in theory, move in before next weekend if that's cool with you.”
You practically leaped at her offer, “Absolutely! What’s her name?”
“His name is Eddie and he’s a—“
“Oh,” you’d never had a male roommate before. You considered this new development until glancing at the clock on the wall. You were going to be late for class! While voicing your thoughts about her proposal, you were already headed towards the door, “I guess as long as he’s not a total slob and pays his part of the rent on time that’s all that matters. Give him my number and tell him to call me, I gotta go!”
“Wait! There’s one more thing,” Robin tries to scream after you but you're already running out the front door of the Family Video. 
She watches your car pull away and shakes her head as she forwards your contact info, “Oh well, she’ll figure it out on her own pretty quickly.”
Tuesday was always your longest day. First the opening shift with the morning rush of tired college kids desperate for their caffeine fix. Working what felt like nonstop until noon, followed by classes until after 8:00 at night. By the time you trudged your tired ass back to your apartment, all you wanted to do was sleep. Days like today were why you started leaving a pillow and blanket on the couch because sometimes taking those few extra steps to the bedroom were simply out of the question. 
Collapsing into the cushions, you felt your eyes get heavy and all your muscles finally relaxed. Sleep would come easy tonight.
Until the buzzing of your phone brought you back from the edge of sleepy bliss. You had a text from an unknown number.
Hey, this is Eddie. Robin’s friend. She said you needed a roommate! That’s such a coincidence because I’m a mate who needs a room. 
You couldn’t help the little bud of a smile that grew as you looked at the laughing emoji he added to the end of the text. Is it allowed to make first impressions from a single text? Oh well, your initial impression, he’s a goofball. Playful sort of boy next door, childhood friends in another life maybe. Meeting him in person couldn’t hurt right? Robin wouldn’t have suggested it to you if she didn’t think the two of you would get along.
Hi Eddie, I’m free tomorrow after 5 if you want to stop by and take a look. Try it before you buy it right?
You found yourself holding your phone waiting for his response. Eyes suddenly a little less heavy than before. He didn’t keep you waiting long.
It has four walls, a door, and comes with a sweetheart like you? Consider it sold!
Sweetheart? Sure Robin probably told him you're a nice person and all but that’s a little, buzz. Your thoughts were interrupted as he messaged again.
Sorry, I hope that didn't come across as pushy. I don’t want you to think I’m some stereotype. I try not to act like an entitled jerk all the time. It’s just, Robin showed me a picture of the two of you at the lake last summer and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think you were pretty.
The thought that he knew what you looked like and was still sending you cheeky messages made you happier than you’d like to admit. You remembered that trip and knew exactly what picture she must have shown him. It was one of the few where you actually felt good about yourself. With another yawn, you typed a response.
You could make it up to me by leveling the playing field? I should know who I’m expecting to meet tomorrow and possibly share a place with. 
Within just a few minutes an image appeared on the screen. He was straddling a vintage motorcycle with a helmet in his hands. Oh. 
You weren’t sure what caught your eye more, his soft looking curly hair, his dark chocolate eyes, or those dimples in his cheeks from the smile he was flashing the camera. He followed the picture up with another message.
Rob told me you were in class all day so I’ll leave you alone since you’re probably tired. Get some sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow around 5 roomie!
You should be annoyed. First he calls you sweetheart. Then he has the nerve to tell you to go to sleep, like you’re a child who was up past their bedtime. Then to top it all off, this man has the audacity to assume that just because you exchanged a few texts that he can move right in? Who does he think he is? You should be annoyed– but you’re not. Quite the opposite actually, you just got a little more excited for tomorrow. You fell asleep on the couch with that spout of a smile still growing slowly on your lips. 
Heading home after class the next day felt different. Instead of going home stressing about an exam or worrying about how you are going to pay next month's rent, you feel a touch of nervousness mingling with the excitement for a first meeting. You secretly hoped that Eddie was as cute in person as his picture.
Fate was smiling on you today because class had gotten out a little early giving you just enough time to straighten up the apartment before Eddie arrived. 
You hung a clean hand towel up in the bathroom, put fresh sheets on the bed that your old roommate left behind and smiled when you lit the pine scented candle that sat on the coffee table. Happy that you could get one more light out of it before it would need to be replaced. You fluffed the decorative throw pillows on the couch and finally closed the door to your own room before waiting to hear the knock on the door.
When that noise finally echoed through the quiet air you felt your body shiver with anticipation. You let out a reassuring breath, hoping it would calm your nerves and opened the door.
“Hey!” he smiled as brightly as the picture he’d sent you while he greeted you by name, “So? Am I as cute as my picture? Because you certainly are.”
Add big flirt to your first impressions. He was definitely laying on the charm but you were also falling for it hook line and sinker, “Hi Eddie, it’s nice to meet you. Come on in!”
You offered your arm in a welcoming gesture. He stepped inside and brushed past you ever so slightly. He must be wearing a strong cologne. Just that quick pass had your senses overwhelmed with the earthy, woodsy smell.
“So this is the common area,” you pointed out all the usual necessities, “Here’s the bathroom, there’s the kitchen. Off to the side there is a little dining table but I’ll be honest I think I’ve used it once. I usually end up eating on the couch.” He commented on how it was a nice place and that it was so close to his work he could walk when the weather got nice again. 
“Where do you work?”
He closed the kitchen cabinet he’d been snooping in and turned to you, “I’m a mechanic over at Murray’s Auto Repair. Rob said you work at the coffee shop on campus, what’s your field of study, young scholar?” 
“Medical. I’m studying to be a fertility specialist,” you made small talk with him as you walked over to show him where his room is… would be! Where his room would be, if you think he’d be a good fit, “Here’s the other room. My old roommate said I could keep the bed and the dresser but if you already have those we can donate these since they’re in pretty good shape.”
He nodded, “Nah they look alright to me. I’m currently crashing on a friend's couch so this would be a huge upgrade.” He inspected the door handle, “Does this door not have a lock?”
“No, mine doesn’t lock either. I always figured it was because they are interior doors?” you shrugged and joined him as he inspected the boring metal doorknob, “They make portable locks you could always use.”
“Yeah, those things aren’t very strong though and when I’m in rut I can get pretty–” you cut him off.
“I’m sorry, when you're in what?”
The complete shock in your eyes and slack jaw had him pulling back a bit from you. A dejected huff through his nose, accompanied by a shake of the head told you he wasn’t too pleased with your question, “I thought Rob told you?”
“She didn’t tell me anything besides your name and the fact you were looking for a place,” you swallowed hard. You were in your third year of med school, you knew damn well what a rut was but the problem here was that only alphas experience them so if he… the wheels clicked in your head and you suddenly felt small standing beside him, “You’re an alpha?”
He crossed his arms, “Is that a problem? I wouldn’t want to make you uncomfortable so you just say the word and I’m gone.”
His messages last night suddenly made a little more sense. He didn’t want to come across as a stereotypical hotheaded, asshole alpha. Truthfully though, he had been nothing but respectful so far. He had a steady job and already offered to pay your half of the rent for the first month! He even promised to do half the household chores. Honestly, he seemed like a great candidate for a roommate. Why should his status change any of that?
You shook your head, “No it’s alright.” You rocked on your heels with your hands held behind your back, trying to restore the conversation to its former comfort level, “So, when can you move in?”
His smile reappeared, but he didn’t answer your question. He instead turned and belly flopped onto the bed, you heard a deep sigh escape his mouth, “Shit, can I stay here tonight? I really don’t want to sleep on that couch again.” He turned on his hip and looked at you from the bed, “You know Rob’s friend Steve?” You shook your head, you’d only known Robin since the spring semester and hadn’t met any of her friends yet, “Well Harrington’s a great guy but he’s a family man now and can’t have a lonely alpha crashing on his couch anymore.”
You stood awkwardly in the doorway, unsure if you should intrude on the space he just claimed, “Is Steve also an alpha?”
“Yeah. He and I had been living together for years before he met that sweet Chrissy of his,” he collapsed on his back and stared at the ceiling, “They had a kid, cute little boy, a few months ago and I lost my room.”
“Is Chrissy an omega?” you were mentally taking notes. Before Eddie came waltzing through your door, you’d never gotten the chance to talk to someone with a secondary gender at length before. There were some alphas you knew of in your classes throughout the years, mostly because all of them were loud and obnoxious about it. But none that you ever felt compelled to converse with. If they were cool with it, maybe they could answer some questions for the paper your gender sciences professor just assigned. Having some first hand alpha/omega pairbond experience would be great for your research. 
“Nah,” well nevermind, considering the low omega presentation rates you’d have been shocked if that was the case. You could always talk to Eddie about what it’s like to be an unmated alpha. He continued, “Never actually had the pleasure of meeting one. I hear they are crazy sweet though.”
You asked Eddie if he needed to go get anything from Steve’s place tonight, to which he just insisted he’d go tomorrow while you were in class. You had been so anxious for his arrival that you forgot to eat so you offered to cook dinner for him. 
“You really don’t have to,” he tried to stop you but then his stomach growled loud enough that it was probably heard from the hallway by a passing neighbor. 
You both looked at each other and you tried not to laugh at his embarrassed expression, but it wasn’t working, “So is ramen ok? If you’re going to live with a starving college student you’re going to have to eat like one. Not that you aren’t welcome to bring in your own food or whatever. I can clear a shelf off for you.” With that you got distracted reorganizing the sparse contents of the fridge, “There. We can put shared items in the middle, I’ll put the things I buy on the bottom and you can have the top shelf.”
You opened the door wider with a smile as he admired your work. You decided after dinner you’d do the same thing with the cabinets and clear a space just for him, “Ok now I’ve definitely worked up an appetite,” reaching up into the cupboard you presented him with two options, “Do you want spicy or regular?”
He gave in. Already, barely an hour in the apartment, and he knew he was no match for you, “Spicy. Thanks, sweetheart.”
You turned on whatever movie was already in the machine while you cooked and then just a few minutes later you were placing a simple bowl of noodles in front of him. He inhaled them, “That was delicious. I’m doing the dishes!” you were about to protest, “No, don’t even try to argue with me. You've already done enough and I’ve only lived here about 2 hours! I can’t have you doing everything for me. I need to pull my weight.”
“Fine, but sit down and finish the movie first.”
He sat on the opposite end of the couch from you. You chose to ignore the little tug that wished he sat closer to you. 
“Is that candle what I’m smelling?” he asked abruptly.
“Probably,” you leaned towards the coffee table and read him the label, “Evergreen Forest?”
His brows furrow, “No, this is sweeter.” He laughed, “When I first stepped in here I thought you were baking cookies, it was so sweet. I still haven’t been able to figure out where it's coming from.”
“Maybe one of the neighbors is baking something?” You weren’t really sure how to respond because you also had no idea what he could be smelling. You weren’t one for perfume and none of your soaps, shampoos, or body wash smelled sweet. At least he didn’t say the apartment smelled bad.
“Sorry, I’m being weird,” he brought you out of your daydream, “Alpha nose,” he poked himself in the tip of his nose, “I’m really sensitive to scent.”
“It’s ok! I find secondary genders fascinating. It’s part of the reason I chose to study fertility.”
He laughed and twisted himself to face you more from his spot on the couch, “Ah, I see. That’s why you let me move in so fast. Using my body for science hm?”
You couldn’t tell if he was joking or not so you deflated a little, “No of course not. I just think the phenomenon is interesting. Growing up I always hoped one day I would present, especially after I was told I can’t have kids.”
His laughing faded. The familiar sad, almost pitying look appeared that everyone gives you when you tell them. You’re not shy about it and you don’t care who knows. Despite having been focused entirely on building your career since you turned 18 and got that news, you do get asked by outsiders quite often when you’re going to settle down and have kids. 
Here comes the inevitable follow up question. He asks you if you want kids, “I’d love to start a family someday.” You shrug and anxiously rub your knees, “I’m painfully single though, so, one step at a time I guess.”
His laughter was quickly becoming your favorite sound in the world, “Me too! Do you mind if I ask how old you are?”
“I’m 26,” you smiled, “What about you?”
“27. I presented when I was 17 and after I finally managed to graduate high school I went to a trade school to become a mechanic.” He laughed again to himself, “Not that I needed any of it. Already learned all there was to learn from my uncle.”
The title screen of the movie playing in the background and the thought of your 6 AM shift were shoved aside as you spent hours talking with him on the couch. You learned where he grew up, that he played in a band for fun with his friends, and that he was a giant nerd. Everything from Dungeons and Dragons, to Lord of the Rings, to Star Wars. He loved all of it. 
You told him about your hobbies outside of school as well. He asked you questions about what kind of music you like, what your favorite color is, and listened to you talk about the things that interested you. It was kind of alarming how comfortable you already felt with him. He was incredibly easy to talk to. Finally, your body knew you’d regret staying up any later than you already had. You yawned.
“Alright pretty girl I’ve bothered you long enough. Go get some sleep,” he raised an arm and rubbed the back of his neck, “Are you sure it’s ok if I stay here tonight? I know it’s short notice and I wouldn’t want you to feel like you had to let me stay. I can move in officially this weekend if that works better.” 
You surrendered. Standing right up and following his order, “It’s fine Eddie. I offered you the room didn’t I? Besides,” you yawned again, “Since you’re covering rent next month you might as well get your money's worth. Although I don’t have any extra blankets,” another yawn became the final nail in your coffin, “All I had was that sheet. I might have some pillows in the linen closet,” you went to check but he stopped you with his words.
“You’re too kind, fair maiden. I don’t need much when I sleep anyways,” he gestured to himself, “Alpha’s usually run pretty hot.” You snorted and shook your head. As different as he is, you can definitely tell he’s still an alpha. He rose from the couch with a deep bow, “I look forward to our adventures together as roommates,” he flicked his hair back up and flashed you a great view of those dimples, “Good night sweetheart.”
Eddie moved in his stuff little by little, the whole process took nearly a week. When you returned home each day you would notice a few new additions here and there. He stuck his shampoo in the bathroom, there was a six pack of beer on his shelf in the refrigerator, and you could typically hear music playing from his room at night. Finally the last item, a second guitar amp, landed in his now fully lived in room. 
It had officially been a week since he moved the last of his stuff in and the two of you fell into a routine. Eddie’s shifts at the shop were usually the same time you were in class. If he got home before you and made some food, he left you a container on your shelf in the fridge. The last few times he’d started leaving a note on the container labeled “Roomie!” a little heart with bat wings drawn with markers that he definitely swiped from your backpack.  Tonight you were getting home first and decided to surprise him for being the world's best roommate. 
Your mind thought back to yesterday as you got started. You had just gotten out of the shower when he mentioned that sweet smell again. You figured he might have a sweet tooth so you decided to make cookies for him.
You tied your hair back and put on the apron you’d found on clearance after Valentine’s Day. It was pink with little conversation hearts scattered everywhere. A picture of a ladybug and the caption Love Bug written across the chest. After completing the scene with some of your favorite music playing softly in the background, you started to work.
After grabbing the flour and sugar, your cheeks felt warm. You had to check the clock to confirm, you’d only been working for a few minutes and you already felt flushed. As though you had been working in the summer heat for hours. You opened the small window that was situated beside your dining table and the cold winter air wafted into the warm kitchen.  It helped a bit. 
Setting the heat in your cheeks aside, you forgot about it after a while. You didn’t even realize how focused on your task you’d become. You felt relaxed. Every care of the outside world was gone. After mixing the last ingredient, the chocolate chips, into the dough and scooping them onto the baking sheet, you put them in the oven. 
“Hm,” you mused to yourself while looking through the cabinet. Wondering if you had the ingredients to make an icing to write #1 roomie on one of the cookies. 
Your mission was successful and while the cookies baked you whipped up a small amount. Giving you just enough time to do the dishes before pulling the cookies out to cool. You checked the time again. It was just after 5:00 and you knew Eddie would be back soon. Scooping the icing into a small ziplock baggie, you tried your best to write on the uneven surface. He walked in just after you finished the last letter.
“Hi Eddie!” You smiled brightly, proud of your work. Then you held out a small plate to him with the cookie, “I made this for you!”
He froze. His body went rigid there in the door frame. For the first time since you met, there was an uncomfortable silence. He just stared at you for a moment. Then, without a word, walked over, grabbed the plate from your hand and went into his room. Leaving you standing there in the kitchen dazed, confused, and if you were honest with yourself, a little sad.
You didn’t see him again that night. He stayed in his room. Replaying that event in your mind you cleaned up, left the rest of the cookies in a tupperware container on the counter, and headed to bed. 
You tried to sleep but the more you pondered, your sadness turned to annoyance. You needed to complain about him so you called Robin. 
“Hey! What’s up?” she sounded cheerful, “Isn’t it way past your bedtime?”
You offered a curt pity laugh, “Haha, very funny. Can I ask you something?”
“Sure, I’m assuming based on your tone there’s trouble in roommate heaven?” She nailed it and your frustrations poured out like a waterfall.
“I made him cookies and he acted like I committed a crime. He gave me this look, didn’t say anything, snatched the cookie I offered him, and has been hiding in his room ever since. Is he allergic to chocolate? He might as well be with how upset he looked,” you mocked his non existence words, “Oh, I can’t believe the nerve of this girl, making me cookies, letting me move in with her on such short notice! Alpha Jerk.”
Once your rant was over she hummed, “Eddie’s always had a sweet tooth, that doesn’t make any sense. I need more details. What were you wearing?” 
“Just my normal clothes I wore to class today. I did have an apron on to keep my shirt clean, but why should any of that matter?”
She laughed, “Sounds to me like you might’ve broken him. Let me guess you went full domestic goddess?”
“Well I wouldn’t describe it like that but—“
She interrupted you, “Eddie’s a simple alpha babe. An alpha who, by the way, has never been with an omega. You cooking things just for him? Classic omega behavior, you should know that Ms. Smarty-Science-Pants. On top of that, looking like absolute wife material probably had his brain sizzling like a piece of bacon.”
You listened to her but it didn’t matter, “I’m not an omega though.” Your words were more sad than you’d like to think about.
You could hear her exasperated sigh, “His brain doesn’t know that. I’m telling you that’s all it was. He’s probably hiding because he’s got a huge hard on!”
“Robin!” You yelled and immediately listened for any signs that he might’ve heard your yell. You tiptoed to the door and listened. Nothing. You waited until back in the safety of your bed before talking again, “I’ll admit, you might be right about the first part. But,” you heart sank a little, “I doubt he’s in there with a hard on. There’s no way he feels that way about me.”
“Why not?” Robin combated, “You’re fucking adorable! And If he doesn’t, he’s clearly not using those heightened alpha senses of his because anyone would be lucky to have you.”
You bloomed again, “Thanks Robin. I feel a little better. I’m gonna get some sleep. I’ll see you later.”
The next morning you went about your normal routine. If you hadn’t decided to grab some rations from the kitchen to stuff in your backpack in perpetration for a day full of learning, you’d have missed it. There on the counter where you left the container, now a lot more empty than before, sat a little note. Thanks sweetheart. He left his signature bat heart. You smiled to yourself and flashed your eyes to his door. As if it could’ve been anyone else who wrote the note for you. 
A few days after the cookie incident, you and Eddie had resumed your normal interactions. Although, you hadn’t really stopped thinking about what Robin said. You were on the couch watching some random show on TV when he came in from work.
“Hey,” he sounded tired.
“Hey,” you checked the time, “Thought you got off at 5? I was surprised when I beat you home.”
He went, as he always does, to the bathroom and washed his hands. But this time he made a pit stop to set a small sparkly red bag on the coffee table in front of you, “I was supposed to, had to stay and finish fixing this stupid truck. Damn thing is just going to need to be fixed again in three months anyways.” He stood in the bathroom doorway and looked between you and the bag, “That’s for you.”
You felt the color appear on your face, “Me? Why?”
He replaced the towel he’d been wiping his hands on and walked back to the living room, “Dunno, I felt bad I guess about the other day and when I stopped at the store on my way home I saw that little guy and thought of you.” He spoke in a rushed manner like he was trying to get the words out without making a big deal out of it.
You looked inside the bag and found a small brown teddy bear with a red bow tied around its neck. It was so sweet. You held him in your hands and felt the softness of his fur beneath your fingers. 
“I just wanted to say sorry. Not trying to you know, I don’t know. You can just throw it away when I’m not looking or whatever,” Eddie was rambling and it was absolutely adorable.
“No it’s fine. I like him,” you loved him. He was the same color as Eddie’s eyes.
He went to his room after that and must have gone right to sleep because you saw the light from under the door turn off and didn’t hear any music tonight. You sat there on the couch with your new friend for a bit longer and realized something. He only came in with this. If he just happened to see this while already at the store, what did he go to the store for in the first place?
It was one of your rare days off and you were catching up on some laundry. You knew he might view what you were about to ask similarly to the cookies but hey doing laundry in an apartment building is a pain in the ass. If you're going down you might as well bring some of his clothes too. 
You texted him. Hey, I'm doing some laundry. You need anything washed?
He was at work but usually responded pretty quickly if they weren’t busy. They must not be busy. 
Yeah uh sure. That’s cool. Thanks. There’s a little pile in the corner by my guitar.
You were usually really good about respecting the roommate code. You knocked if you needed to get his attention but hadn’t actually been in the second bedroom since he moved in. Only catching quick glimpses when he would enter or exit. 
As soon as you entered, you thought to yourself, My period must be coming. The wall of musky, woodsy scent hit you like a ton of bricks. It was spicy and warm and distinctively Eddie. You stood in the door frame almost trying to catch your breath, Damn it’s probably going to be a rough one, I'm not usually this sensitive.
Once you regained your balance, you learned that Eddie had not one but two guitars. There was a red and black electric one hanging on the wall and a black acoustic one sitting on a stand beside his dresser. He didn’t specify in his message which one you should look by and both of them had piles of wadded up clothing near them. 
Trying not to inhale too deeply for fear of passing out, you pulled the collar of your shirt up over your nose and grabbed the first pile under the electric guitar. A few shirts and what looked to be pants that he might wear under his coveralls at work.
With still a little room in your basket, you made your way to the second pile. Opting to just pick all of it up at once and drop it in with the other clothes. You instantly knew this probably wasn’t the one he wanted you to wash. Sitting on top of your now shared laundry were several pairs of crusty looking socks and balled up boxers that had been hiding under a shirt. 
You knew you should put them back. Recreate the scene and walk away like you never touched them in the first place. Maybe he wouldn’t notice you had disturbed them. That's what you should do. You knew that. But something stirred inside you. You acted almost on instinct and before you could think too hard about it, you were picking up a pair of his green plaid boxer shorts and bringing them up to your nose.
When you inhaled the scent quite literally knocked you down. You fell backwards onto your ass. A euphoric feeling consumed you, it was like nothing you’d ever felt before. Suddenly your cheeks were flushed, your heartbeat quickened, and you knew you needed more. You smelled them again.
The room smelled like Eddie of course, it was his room. All his belongings were in here. He spent a good portion of his time here. But this, this was more somehow. More Eddie. Like someone had taken his scent and bottled it into a cologne. Then accidentally spilled an entire bottle onto this single pair of underwear. 
Coming down from your high you knew you had to leave them here, he’d notice if the pile was completely missing. Thus knowing you touched his underwear like a weird pervert. But he might not notice one pair mysteriously going missing. 
With the green pair still clutched in your dirty fingers, you replaced each soiled item one by one and covered them back up with the shirt. Then stood back on your feet, picked up the laundry basket, and continued your task as though the last few minutes didn’t happen. 
He came home from work that night to a small pile of neatly folded shirts and pants placed carefully on his bed. There was also a small container of take out with his name on it waiting for him in the fridge. You didn’t have the courage to face him that night after what you had done. So you hid away in your room. Leaving him completely unaware of the thievery that had taken place or the hidden treasure that now sat tucked away in your nightstand. 
It was officially one month that you’d been living with Eddie. If he noticed something missing from his wardrobe, he never mentioned it. 
Tonight you were having your first movie night with friends that you hoped to make a weekly occurrence. Robin was already here and tonight you got to meet their mutual friend Steve for the first time when he came over with his partner Chrissy. 
“I poured the popcorn into a few different bowls since it didn’t fit in just one,” Robin said with a smile as she held up two mismatched things of popcorn.
You feigned despair, “Oh no! What’re we gonna do? We can’t let people know that we live like this!” You turned to Eddie and held your cheeks, “What will the neighbors think?”
He laughed, “Your reputation as a good neighbor was probably lost the moment I moved in sweetheart.” His nickname for you became common tongue. You knew it didn’t hold any meaning, just Eddie being, well Eddie.
Robin didn’t approve of your shenanigans, she set the bowls down on the coffee table, “I never should have introduced you two. You're both menaces.” 
“Au contraire!” Eddie defended, “It’s actually a crime that you didn’t introduce us sooner!”
Your heart swelled hearing that, “Aww, you really do care Eddie. Here I was thinking you just used me for my extra room. Is the big bad alpha going soft? 
He smirked, “Nothing soft about me sweetheart.”
“Oh my god can you not make dick jokes for like 5 minutes please?” Robin threw up her hands, “Are we really about to bring another thick headed alpha in here? Seriously, how did you and Steve not kill each other?” 
Your eyes tracked between them as they bickered. Eddie sat in his usual spot on the couch and Robin was about two seconds away from walking back into the kitchen. 
Eddie laughed, “Relax! Steve and I have more sense than that. Besides, he’s got a girlfriend which calmed him down a little.”
“Good, this apartment can only handle one hot alpha,” You blurted out without thinking and instantly regretted it.
Robin, who was no secret to your massive crush on your friend and roommate, covered her laugh and retreated back to the kitchen. Shooting you a look that says you are so on your own with this one.
Eddie just looked at you, for a brief second there was some unreadable emotion there but it quickly turned to a smug grin. His arm swinging over the back of the couch, opening his legs as he crossed one over the other. “Aww you really think I’m hot sweetheart?”
You didn’t answer him. You’d be forever grateful to whoever just knocked on the door. 
On the other side stood a man with fluffy, perfectly placed brown hair and a big smile. Even without the knowledge this man was an alpha, you’d know right away. From the protective arm around this girlfriend’s shoulders and the oozing confidence, this must be none other than Steve Harrington.
Which meant the cute redhead beside him must be Chrissy. She greeted you with a surprise, though not unwelcome, hug, “It’s so great to finally meet you. Eddie’s told us so much about you.”
“Really?” You looked back to Eddie who was uncharacteristically quiet. You decided to just file that in the back of your mind for now, “Come on in! We made popcorn and pizza should be here soon.” Robin had returned and gave Steve a hug. You couldn’t resist the urge to tease her once more, “I hope you don’t mind the mismatched bowls.”
The movie provided an anchor as you got better acquainted with these new friends. You learned that they met through work. Steve is a personal trainer and Chrissy teaches yoga at the community center. Steve was telling you the story of how his jaw literally dropped when Chrissy walked into his gym to inquire about offering classes there. 
Your body language had naturally leaned in while listening to his story. You sat up a little straighter. Your arms braced against your knees as you gave Steve your full attention. Or at least tried to. The frequent twitches you caught from the corner of your eye kept distracting you. Finally you looked over and saw Eddie clenching his fists against his thighs.
You waited until Steve had finished to say something, “Eddie? Are you ok?”  
His eyes were blown wide as he looked in your direction, “Hm? Yeah, I’m fine.” The white knuckles now braced against his chin and the point of his elbow digging into his leg said otherwise.
Steve spoke up before you could, “You sure man? You look like you’re ready to rip somebody’s head off.”
“I said I'm fine!” He snapped. 
In an instant, the once friendly atmosphere turned sour and tense. No one really knew what to do. Everyone looked concerned. Searching for the cause of what had upset him. You however were feeling something very different. All you could think about was touching him. No, not touching, your brain supplied. Scenting. 
You wanted nothing more right now than to nuzzle into his hair and neck. Somehow reassuring him that everything was ok.
Now your eyes were blown wide. Your brain all at once processed this intrusive thought. You knew it was nonsense. It must have come from your lessons during class today. Yeah that’s it. You were still just thinking about today's lecture during gender sciences because you shouldn’t be scenting. That’s something only done by alphas or—
“Who wants dessert?” You jumped up from the couch and headed into the kitchen. You heard footsteps behind you. Someone was following you. You didn’t need to turn and look thought. The sound of the footsteps, his smell, everything about him swirling around inside your very confused mind. 
You opened the freezer and didn’t realize how much you needed the relief of a cool breeze. Standing there with the door open for a moment after grabbing the tub of ice cream felt incredible.  
“Hey,” Eddie’s voice melted your insides. It sounded so soft and comforting, “Are you alright?”
You didn’t want to look at him for fear that just by making eye contact he would somehow know what you had wanted to do. Instead, you chuckled awkwardly and played it off, “Guess I’m just more tired than I thought.”
“No,” Eddie saw right through you, “I’ve seen you tired after a long day. That’s not what this is. Come here.”
Your mind and body were incapable of disobeying him. Even if you hadn’t wanted to, you turned on his command. Closing the freezer door and keeping your eyes locked with his feet. 
He touched your forehead. Eddie had never touched you before. All the nights you spent wondering what the tips of his fingers felt like finally answered. They were calloused from playing guitar, the palm of his hand rough, most likely from his job. But nothing had ever felt more natural. It was fleeting thought because he pulled back already. 
“Jesus Christ you’re burning up,” He went to the bathroom and returned the thermometer, “Holy shit 102?” He called for Robin. 
She came running and you vaguely heard him telling her to go get medicine from the bathroom. He lifted your chin, “You are taking medicine and going right to bed. Do you understand me? No work or class tomorrow for you either.”
“But–”
“I think you should listen to him,” Robin said as she returned followed by Chrissy and Steve to check on you. 
Standing became a labor. You braced yourself against the counter but Eddie caught you and lifted you into his arms. Robin opened the door for him as he carried you to your bed. Everything was starting to blur together. Somehow they made you take the medicine. You’re pretty sure Robin helped you change into some pajamas before you passed out on top of the comforter. That night you had your first dream of Eddie.
The next morning… afternoon? You weren’t sure until you blinked your eyes open. You felt awful. Your skin felt like it was on fire. If you were still running a fever that was not a sign. As soon as you summoned enough strength you ripped all your clothes off only to be horrified by what you felt on the bed beneath you. Your underwear, shorts and the top of the comforter were soaked. You brought your wet hand up to your face to inspect the source.
“Is that?” you spoke to the emptiness, “Slick?”
It should have been impossible. Everything you knew about biology was being thrown out the window and discarded to the wayside. Nothing made sense anymore. You had been and would always be a beta. And yet– your new and now ever present instincts told you otherwise. You were in heat. 
Grasping at the shred of rationality that you regained, you tried to remember everything you’ve ever learned about heats. You knew a few things for certain. One, it was only a matter of time because you were lost to your desires and unable to think about anything except mating. Two, you needed food so that you didn’t have to leave your room again until it subsided. Last? Only omegas experience heats which means that only an alpha would truly make you feel better. 
Tossing your wet clothing to the ground you wobbled naked like a newborn fawn towards your bedroom door. Dripping slick against your bare inner thighs as you tried to walk. You made it to the kitchen where, with fervent desperation, you dug through the cabinets for anything you could bring back with you. Then you went to Eddie’s room and without a second of hesitation opened the door. That was a horrible idea.
Where only the night before was just the scent of Eddie, now your brain was able to recognize it for what it was. Alpha.
Your knees buckled. It’s a miracle you didn’t fall over. Another rush of slick dripped from your aching hole. You didn’t have the luxury of considering whether he’d be upset that you were borrowing his clothes. You grabbed his leather jacket that he always wore outside of work from the bed and the few shirts that littered the floor. You could feel the fever returning. You needed to get back to your room. 
Eddie didn’t want to leave you that morning. He peeked inside your bedroom before heading to work and you were sound asleep.
Robin had taken care of your obligations for you. She called your work and emailed your professors saying you’d be out for a few days with a fever.
Eddie knew he should just go back home because he wasn’t much use here today anyways. He’d already made a ton of mistakes thanks to his distracted brain.
“Munson!” Murray called to him from the office, “Come here boy!”
“Shit,” he tossed the rag in his hand and readied himself for an ass chewing.
Murray looked up from the desk, “What’s wrong with you today? You handed me an order form for the wrong part. You charged someone triple for a simple oil change and now I just watched you checking the engine on a car that was brought in for headlight repair.”
“Sorry sir, my roommate’s pretty sick right now and I guess I’m just a little worried about her,” a little worried was an understatement. Eddie was panicking that you, the absolute divine love and light of his life, were going to die in his absence.
He sighed, “Just go. Before I change my mind.”
Eddie tore at the buttons on his coveralls and nearly tripped trying to walk and take them off at the same time, “Thanks Murray!”
“You owe me!” was the last thing Eddie heard before he ran out.
He kicked the stand up on his motorcycle and got quite a few stares from people on the street and he hauled ass back to the apartment. 
Normally he’d take the elevator up to your fourth floor apartment but in his mind his feet were faster and they’d carry him to you sooner. He was so focused on checking that you were still ok that he didn’t even feel winded after running up four flights of stairs. 
He fumbled with his keys as he walked down the hallway. Then it hit him. He dropped the keys. They clattered loudly to his feet. He was still several doors down from yours and he could already smell it. He scrambled to pick them up and ran down the hallway. 
His suspicions were confirmed as soon as he turned the key. That same sweetness that had greeted him everyday since the first time he opened that door to your smiling face, suffocated him. Though now it was a little different. It was sweeter. More you. Something he’d only ever dreamed of. An omega.
It got stronger with every step he took towards your room. He swallowed and failed to will away the hardness growing in his pants. All his hopes and dreams were answered when he pushed his way into your room. There on the bed in a very haphazardly constructed nest, naked, clinging to his jacket, surrounded by his clothes, and your brown stuffed bear, was you.
He inhaled deeply and could practically feel his pupils dilate with lust. You smelled so fucking good. He took another step and spoke quietly trying not to startle you, “Hey sweetheart.” 
It hurt so bad. The ache between your thighs only worsened as you curled into the small nest you’d surrounded yourself with. The underwear you’d stolen from Eddie lost its scent long ago but you still pulled it out and threw it in the pile. The few items you were able to grab from his room were a mere wooden board in the dam against the rushing river that threatened to drown you at any moment.
You didn’t hear the front door open.
Your senses became more clouded with each passing minute. You clung for dear life to Eddie’s leather jacket but it betrayed you as it started to cling back now that it was damp with your sweat.
The click of your bedroom door knob alerted you and brought you back. Maybe it wasn’t the door. Maybe it was the smell or the sound of his voice as he spoke to you. You lifted your head and couldn’t stop the tears when you saw Eddie standing there at the foot of your bed.
“A-alpha? It hurts,” 
Something awoke within Eddie. The deepest part of himself he’d never been able to fully satisfy. All those ruts spent uselessly humping into his hand or a pillow. “Again,” He growled, “Say it again little one!”
Your eyes pleaded with him as you whined, “A-alpha?” You pressed the jacked to your chest. How was he here? He was supposed to be working. Your fever must have taken over you and you were starting to hallucinate, “F-fuck, alpha, need you. Are you really here?”
The bed shifted, “I know, I know. I’m here now, sweet omega. I’m here.” He laid behind you and wrapped his long arms around you. “‘m so sorry I left sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere now.”
His presence eased the ache a bit. He rubbed your neck with his hand and whispered in your ear, “You smell so good, could smell you from the hallway.”
He felt you shudder with panic, “R-really?”
“Shh! No, don't worry. I locked the door and only other alphas or omegas would be able to smell it,” he leaned in closer, “Can I kiss you? It might help you feel better.”
You nodded but didn’t feel anything on your lips. He kissed your neck. Sparks of pure pleasure shot through your body. You whimpered helpless against the feeling, “Fuck more Eddie! More! Kiss me more, please!”
He couldn’t deny that his heart had wanted to hear those words since he first laid eyes on you but he knew it was just the heat talking. He also knew if he started he wouldn’t be able to stop, “I want to more than you know princess but, I don’t want you to hate me when you're more lucid.”
His kiss had breathed new life into you and gave you the energy to turn to face him, “I’d never hate you Eddie.” You reached into the piled up fabric that you had built up around you and pulled out the green plaid boxers, “D’you lose something?” you could feel your speech slurring.
“D-did you take my underwear?” his fingers curled and tickled against you lightly drawing out little giggles.
You grinned up at him with glassy eyes, “Sure did. Sniffed ‘em too.”
His palm came to rest on your hip and he ran his fingers up the curve of your waist. Then back down again. Savoring every dip, ridge, and shape your body created as it lay before him, “Did they help you feel better?”
“Nuh uh,” he was misunderstanding, “I took these a while ago. So see? Wouldn’t hate you. Want you.”
He kissed you again, on the lips this time, “I want you too. Shit, you taste so good. I wonder how you taste other places.”
He pressed his elbow up, giving him leverage to sit up and tear his shirt off. Next he was up hovering over you on his knees. You watched him, taking in every single one of his movements. He unzipped his pants and slid them down his hips. His thick length was barely contained by the fabric of his boxers. He was less than graceful as he shook them off. 
He straddled your legs and lowered himself towards your neck again, so close to your skin that his chest grazed your exposed nipples as he turned you to rest on your back beneath him. His mouth was in your ear whispering, “I can see it in your eyes sweetheart, the heat is getting worse. Can you tell me what you need before that smart ass brain of yours is just mush, begging for my knot?”
“F-fuck me Eddie,” you looked up at him and knew even in your current state that your words had affected him. “P-please.”
“That’s all I needed to hear sweetheart,” he kissed you again. First on the lips. Devouring your moans, wet noises growing as you felt yourself drooling into him because of how good he tasted. Your slick lips gliding against his. He moved lower onto your neck and kissed the crook just above your shoulder, “This might be a little sensitive here but I promise it’ll feel good.” He sucked on your skin and in that instant you were writhing.
“Ah! A-alpha,” somewhere in the deep recesses of your mind you knew that he was sucking on the spot that both of your latent instincts told you was where he should bite down and bond himself to you. Where if he gave into his desires and bit down just a little harder you’d forever be his and only his. Bearing his mating mark for the world to see. As he continued sucking with just his lips and licking with his tongue that was suddenly all you ever wanted, “Mate me alpha! All yours, please!” 
He puffed out his chest. His shoulders flexed. The muscles in his back tightened as he growled again into your neck. Straining to fight off every instinct that told him to give you what you wanted. His hand gripped the wooden frame of your bed so tightly you heard the wood begin to splinter and crack. “Maybe after your heat sweetheart. Such a good girl, my sweet little omega, all these big new feelings. Don’t you worry, I’ll take care of you.”
Throwing your head back you let the dam break, “N-need your knot alpha, Hurts. Make it stop.”
“You’re not quite ready for my knot yet baby. Gotta make sure I don’t hurt you.”
But you were an omega? That’s literally what your body was made for, why couldn’t you take him? First he wouldn’t mate you and now he won’t knot you? Were you a bad omega? He sensed your distress in the subtle change in your scent. He buried his face into your neck again, surrounding you with himself. 
“You’re not bad! No no,” you didn’t even realize you’d said that out loud. He continued to soothe you, “It's just…I’ve never knotted anyone before and I don’t want to hurt you.”
You brought your hands up to his chest and touched him everywhere your fingers could reach, “Won’t hurt me. I know. Too gentle.” 
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of you. The weight of his body pressing into nearly every surface of your skin was intoxicating. Grounding you with his scent and his very presence. You’d pulled him into the perfect position to nuzzle into his neck and hair, kissing the same spot that he has just assaulted on you with his tongue. A warm feeling bubbled in your gut. This was different from the warmth of the heat. Then a sound hit both of your ears.
A sound that gave both of you delighted pause. The little noise that escaped your throat was somewhere between a whimper and a moan but something so uniquely omega. Eddie had never heard a more beautiful sound. You were purring. 
He let you keep going but whispered into your ear, “You’re fucking perfect you know that?” you purred louder, “I’m going to make you come with my fingers and then I’ll give you my knot, ok?”
“Yes alpha! Thank you,” you whined as he pulled away but his hands never stopped touching you. He made his way down to the drenched area between your thighs.
“You look so beautiful for me sweetheart, you’re fucking soaked,” he moaned as his fingers began toying with your wetness and dipping in between the folds of your pussy. You encouraged him with all the moans and whines he could ever hope to hear. As soon as he deemed you thoroughly worked up, he finally slipped a finger in, quickly followed by another. They worked together pumping in and out fluidly, curling inside you, pressing all the right buttons. You wanted to thank him but all that would come out was broken bits and pieces of alpha and his name. 
His hair brushed lightly against your inner thighs, sending shivers through your core as he lowered his head down. He spoke with a low hum right into your entrance, “You’re close. I can feel it. Let go for me sweet omega. I’ll take good care of you.”
One more curl of his fingers hitting that delicious soft spongy spot inside you had you screaming and convulsing as slick rushed out into his hand and surely getting some on his face. His fingers pulled out and were replaced with something wet and soft. You could feel his nose nudging at your aching clit as he licked up all your wetness with his tongue. It slid up from the hole and flicked your clit over and over again causing the muscles in your calf to twitch.
“K-knot alpha! Knot please, ‘m ready. So empty, hurts!”
He sucked on your clit before pulling away and lifted to release his throbbing cock from his boxers. You looked up at it, marveling at how impressive his length looked. The tip swollen and aching for you just as you ached for him. The shaft veins pulsed as he pumped himself with his wet hand, covering it in your scent and juices. The base just barely began to flare out as his knot already started to swell. He lined up the tip with your begging cunt and teased you as much as his self control would allow before slowly and carefully pressing all the way inside.
You cried out for him, “So good! More, more, more! Move alpha please!”
He couldn’t hold back anymore. Feeling his cock sheathed inside his omega’s pussy was too much. He began fucking into you with reckless abandon, each thrust hitting deep within your body, catching ever so slightly as his knot continued to swell. He grunted loudly, “Fuck! “M’gonna fill you up so good little omega. Gonna breed this beautiful pussy,” his instincts were now fully in control. His mind became almost as clouded as yours with nothing but want and desire to fulfill the purpose of your heat, “You’ll look so good knocked up sweetheart. Tits all big and heavy. My omega, mine!” 
You echoed him, “Yours alpha! All yours! Breed me, wanna carry your baby! Please, please please,” you cries became so desperate and emotional as you begged and pleaded for him to give you something you’d wanted as long as you could remember. Tears fell from your tired eyes, “Make me a mommy alpha!”
“Yeah?” he looked down at you. Beads of sweat from his constant thrusting formed on his forehead. His bangs curled and swooshed out in every direction, “Beg for my knot again omega, tell me how much you want it!”
Your body was jostling up and down from his thick cock fucking into you harder and harder. Your senses became overwhelmed with the feeling of your alpha’s cock, his scent, his words, his love all around you. You could feel how much bigger his knot had gotten, your voice was wrecked, “Knot alpha, need it, knot me!”
Eddie came with a loud growl. You’d never felt so full. Your walls pulsated around him as you came again. He slammed his knot deep inside you, locking you together with him, forming a connection that as you floated down from your orgasm fully took shape in your mind.
“Eddie?” you looked into his warm brown eyes, “Th-thank–”
“Shh, we can talk later baby. Rest while you can,” he held a finger to your lips, “Once my knot goes down I’ll get you some water and something to eat. You’ll need it again soon so we both need to rest.”
Being locked together with him felt so right but it limited your movement. Twisting your torso you looked around the nest for the box of granola bars you’d grabbed earlier, “I,” words were still hard and your breath was labored, “box here somewhere.”
He looked around and spotted the corner of the box on the floor. He pictured what you must have done when you realized what was happening to you, knowing what you’d need, “You did such a good job. Now it’s my turn, we’ve got a long few days ahead of us. My first rut lasted three days.”
You chuckled, eyes closed, a blissful fucked out smile on your lips, “W-we might need more food.”
“I’m not leaving you again, I’ll have Rob drop some stuff off.”
You didn’t talk anymore after that. In fact you fell asleep with his knot still inside you. He kissed your forehead before pulling out when it finally went down, “Sleep my little omega.” He left the nest just long enough to text Robin and his boss, updating them and then curled up behind you, rubbing his face into your neck again. Picturing how good your throat would look with his mating mark on it before falling asleep beside you.
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siffrins-therapist · 8 months
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🏴magictrioinitiate-deactivated
Reblog if your name isn't Alfred F Jones.
🃏thekinglovesplayingwithmyballs follow
WE'LL FIND YOU JONES
🐺a-squared-omegaverse follow
As if he couldn't just lie, if he even is on this hellsite.
🏴magictrioinitiate-deactivated
He wouldn't cuz heroes don't lie.
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🏴notafjonesprommy-deactivated
A hero would lie to protect his secret identity ;)
🎻sayakamikideservedbetter follow
THIS IS THE POST! ON MY DASH! I FEEL LIKE I'M SEEING A CELEBRITY!!
🗿givemegumgumdumdum follow
NO NOTES???????????????
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🦪clamoutjamout follow
so i got like really hella drunk last night and out of what must have been a mix of desperation and hubris, I sent an email to Mr. Romano, askiNG FOR AN INTERVIEW OVER ZOOM TO ASK QUESTIONS FOR RESEARCH FOR MY HISTORICAL EROTICA WIP AND HE SAID YES???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🍖hannibalservedmemyownballs follow
Doesn't he like never talk to historians and w/e? Holy shit what kind of magical persuasive powers did your drinks give you and can you send me some?
🦖little-arms-big-hugs follow
I wouldn't say *never*. He's given interviews before, he just has a really low tolerance for disrespect compared to his brother. But with his temper I wouldn't be surprised if his gov asked him to not accept as many interviews anymore.
🍖hannibalservedmemyownballs follow
True, true. I still want to borrow some of OP's persuasion magical drinks.
🦪clamoutjamout follow
my mom sent me a bottle of that liquor mr Latvia made and i didnt look at the proof before drinking like half the bottle (mixed with pop).
also... I finally pulled up my big girl panties and read what I wrote to mr. romano...............
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... im going to kms.
🦖little-arms-big-hugs follow
Forget persuasion powers, I want whatever healing magic you have that drinking half of MR. LATVIA'S balsam didn't kill you!
🦪clamoutjamout follow
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#we're almost there folx! #RIP OP #nation person mention #alcohol mention
9,879 Notes
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🌄cabininthewoodscore follow
UM. HELLO????
🤠redbreadrebellion follow
Yeah, Ch*rchill pushed hard for those two to get together, it's no secret. What about it? It doesn't mean they actually got together turn off your shipping brain.
🏴tw1stedm1nd-deactivated
Sure and America definitely didn't talk about it in an interview
🌄cabininthewoodscore follow
😭😭😭😭😭 The link just goes to a 404 page NNNNOOOOOOOO WHYYYYYYY
#usuk ship real is the only conspiracy theory i'll believe
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🐸enby-froggy follow
did anyone else see h/bomber/guy's new video??? PLEASE someone put that man in witness protection or something before K*rkland gets him
🍝spaghetti-breaker follow
wasn't he originally supposed to talk about that one bbc pirate show?
🐸enby-froggy follow
spaghetti-breaker He was but he ended up going off-track after he found some reddit post that led him down a rabbit hole of research. tl;dr: K*irkland yo-hoe-hoeing isn't just a meme
🦐butisbugsshrimp follow
I'm more worried about dickland's teaboo white knights getting him tbh
🍯kidsishrunkthehoney follow
Lmao looks like he saw it!
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#wait a min i gotta search something #THE VIDEO IS ALMOST 3 HOURS WTF #now i gotta watch
983 Notes
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🪃callmyanxietyboomerang follow
dylan's collab with mr canada was just them trying to out-do each other with all the gay jokes sjflsfjsifhsifjsij someone make one of those 10 hour videos with just the cuts of that please? 🙏🏼
🪃callmyanxietyboomerang follow
SOMEONE DID FUCK YEAH!!!
#canada nation person #vintage baker man #someone send me the video i refuse to download tiktok
97 Notes
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🎲dev1ld1c3 follow
If we try hard enough, do you guys think we can convince Mr. Denmark to do a girl month donation goal?
🛸area51searchandrescue follow
Tbh I'm surprised he doesn't have a subscription goal like that already
🔦berwaldsfleshlight follow
There's a rumour he's trying to convince Jones and Beilschmidt to do it with him first before he makes the goal official
#pretty sure those two dont need convincing
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transboysokka · 10 months
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tell me about autistic Zuko (modern au or canon. Like how he grew up, why it’s justified in canon, how people around him react to it/are they assholes or not) bc I’ve been thinking about him but I can’t seem to articulate all my feelings into words and you’re good at that <3
hahahaha gladly here is a smattering of Facts and Evidence, in no particular order
Fact #1: His special interest is the Avatar. That boy’s done so much research!! (I’m joking with this one and yet… 👀)
Evidence #1: His father was embarrassed of him when he was a kid. This could have been for a variety of reasons including that he’s gay but also if you are trying to raise an heir of a powerful nation, you would see a lot of autism symptoms as a weakness, especially things like awkwardness, difficulty making eye contact, etc
Evidence #2: He doesn’t seem to have a lot of friends growing up which can also be explained in different ways but a kid just following around his sister and her friends all day? sus
Evidence #3: The way he rehearses what he’s going to say to Aang at the Western Air Temple… and the awkwardness of it makes it So Much More… it’s the most really, THE autistic of scenarios. We GOTTA practice big conversations like that before they happen, we just do…
Evidence #4: He borrows from other scripts for social interaction. You know when he’s trying fo get along with everyone at the air temple and he makes tea for them and try to tell a joke? Why does he do that? Because he’s mimicking Iroh, who is probably the most outgoing person in his life, and following exactly what Iroh does to be friendly and ingratiate himself with others…
Evidence #5: Missing social cues. I can’t think of any examples off the top of my head but I think we’ve all seen it. Also “That’s rough, buddy” is something he TOTALLY stole from someone else because he had no idea what he actually was supposed to say in that situation
Fact #2: now HERE’s a guy who feels deeply but is SO bad at expressing or controlling his feelings. Remember when he was worried about the comet and instead of talking about it just ATTACKED HIS FRIENDS?? oof yeah
Important Headcanon #1: Zuko is really sensitive to texture and has ARFID, which does have a high overlap with autistic folks. This “pickiness” causes real problems for him, especially when he’s v busy being the Fire Lord…. He tends to eat the same foods a lot to sustain himself (fire flakes) and makes the same exact tea for himself every single day. He DOES like to bake and cook though, and is quite good at it, even if he won’t eat it all
Headcanon #2: Our boy’s special interests are history, dao swords, and baking
Headcanon #3: Not a fan of eye contact
Theory #1: Our boy Sokka def has that ADHD and I just don’t think it’s that common or easy for ND folks to be in a relationship with NT folks (I have no proof of this but just think about it for a sec) so therefore Zuko must be neurodivergent
This is a big ol’ mess but for a MUCH more comprehensive and comprehensible Auristic Zuko explanation, please refer to this masterpiece of a post which I just found after spending a bunch of time answering this ask lolol
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ladyofnegativity · 2 months
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Heeeeey Tiny-! Okay so...
AHHDLRGSKSVDKVXSKSBRKRB. BITCH. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT ACTUAL THE FUCK?!
How the hell did you make something so... SO-! ARGHHHHHH-! I CANT FIND THE WORDS-!!!
I'm blessed. SO FUCKING BLESSED.
THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU-!
Okay okay okay. So! I'll try to do a deepdive on the newest installment of Human Effects.
BigBotNoStop: Alright mechs, I come bearing an inquiry. As you may have heard from some of my last posts, the newest additions to our crew are a thriving colony of soft, squishy humans. Word in the taproom is some have taken quite an interest in... extending cultural exchanges, if you catch my drift. Not really my field of experience and was hoping some of Xeno's here might have some input. 
Posted to Sublink: Human and cybertronian relationships?
But I'm curious, are interspecies acts even possible without harm? Their frames seem so fragile. One wrong motion and SPLAT! No more humans. quite a few members of our crew have shown interest in flirting... Thoughts? Suggestions for how to proceed with care- help a mech out!
(I don't know why, but this bot reminds me of Skids. I've been reading the other installments, and so far, my hunch on this is Skids.)
Blazemech: Yo! You got fleshies on your ship! Fragging jealousy!. Your ship is looking for any dock workers?
(Okay! So, from the context of what Blazemech wrote, I can tell that they aren't from the Lost Light. Perhaps a crew member from the Vis Vitalis, or some other ship? I don't know, but the name 'Blazemech' reminds me of FireStar(?), but judging from context, I don't think she'll want to work as a dock worker when she's second in command in the Vis Vitalis.)
TailOrTrails: Oh Primus, are we really having this discussion?? Look, I get the appeal of those soft little flesh bags. Really, I do - different wiring can be so freakin' hot. But there's no way a romp with one of those puny things ends well for them! Even accidentally bumping into a table puts them in the medbay. Think of the mess, One wrong thrust and you've got squish all over your plating.
(Riptide. Definitely Riptide. 'TailOrTrails' reminds me of a mech who has an aquatic themed alt mode, and we, Riptide turns into a boat. And from reading the other installments, Riptide acts hesitant yet intrigued.)
ISOCLEAN: Just download some holofacing and use your imagination if you're that jonesing for an organic interface. Trust me, it's not worth the risk - or hassle of cleaning up after. sure you can find something from the Human sites on Mechanophilia, slutty Show and shine or Car Washes. Stay shiny and keep those servos to yourself, mechs! Some curiosities are better left to fantasies.
(Honestly, I'm stumped with this one. I can't seem to find or remember someone who's a clean freak. Aside from Ultra Magnus, but then he wouldn't fit the mannerisms of ISOCLEAN. Fuck.)
Flyboi69: Don't leave a mech hanging, I want deets!, has anybot here actually gotten friendly with a fleshie before? I'm talking about hands-on experience. We've all gotten curious watching, but has the real thing lived up to the fantasy? 
(Tailgate??? I'm sorry, I REALLY don't know who this guy is. Could be Starscream, but it would fit with they way the text was worded.
I think it's Skywarp??? But then why would he be interested in humans???)
Pimptheride: Any tips for coaxing one into the berth, or does their tiny size mean you've got to take it slow and gentle? And most importantly... any videos out there of the deed? A mech's gotta do some, ah, research before taking the plunge. Hook a brother up if you've found any good amateur organic-on-mech action out there in the 'net. Gotta see it to believe it. 
(Haha! I read the name, and immediately thought of Knockout. Not because of the text or anything, but I just remembered that in Transformers: Prime, the animators decided to pimp out Knockout, hence the 'Pimptheride')
ScienceSorcerer: For reasons. Does anyone know if humans have both Spikes and Valves? Or if they have any human anatomy holos or books and such from Earth they are willing to sell for some decent Shanix.  
(Brainstorm. The mech that started it all. I'm betting everything that this is Brainstorm.)
T-Wrexz: Primus, you mechs are hungrier than fragging scraplets. As far as I know, relations between our kinds are still uncharted territory. Could be amazing, could end badly - who's to say until we try? Personally I'm keeping an optic out, just curious to see what new experiences those squishy aliens can offer us tough metal mechs. 
(Definitely Grimlock. The name gave it away.
I mean, do you know any other mech who has a T-Rex alt mode??? Yeeeeeah.
But what business does Grimlock have with humans??? To think that he'd be interested in humans in really funny to me.)
Bar-rizzla: Oho, look who's swapping tall tales. I've been keeping a close optic on our ships squishy company since they came aboard. And between you and me... I may have an in with their ambassador that could lead to some juicy first-hand intel. Just trying to track down the bot we think they are berthing with. Crews got bets out. Turns out they get just as curious about us big metal hunks as we are them!. The other night, their chat got particularly saucy after a few drinks. Lots of gossip and speculation about which lucky bot one of them might take for a private ride. 
(Easy pickings. This is Swerve. I know it is.)
WPHAS-Violation: I may have a certain special "human entertainment" vid I could share. Let's just say the organic in question got quite... friendly with an eager mini-con. You know where to find me if you're brave enough to watch! 
(I'm torn between giving this to Rewind or to Tapemix54. From context, I'd say WPHAS-Violation is from the Lost Light, but then what about Tapemix54??? Is Tapemix54 Soundwave???
👀 Who was this Minicon that got lucky... Hmmmmmm.)
Tapemix54: Oho, mechs - think you've got it bad now? You should've seen some of the real deviants back before the war. When I was still stationed on Petrex, I knew this one smuggler - went by the name Rattler. Sneaky little scraplet, but Primus if he didn't have the wildest stories. Rattler used to run goods across time and space, dodging security at every turn. He'd pop up out of nowhere selling the rarest exotic "pets" to rich senators and other high caste mechs looking for a thrill. I'm talking aliens so bizarre even our data banks had never heard of their kind. But the highest bidder always walked away with a new "plaything" to break in, if you catch my drift. Word was Rattler even had a collection of sentient organics that he'd let special clients "test drive" between runs. Humans were apparently a favourite - their smaller frames could take all sorts of creative handling. Rattler had vids, too, of course, to entice buyers. I saw one once, let's just say "versatile" doesn't begin to cover it. Naturally the vids have all been scrubbed by now. But I bet if you knew where to dig in the deep web or some easily swayable Archivist, you might find traces of Rattler's stash still floating around out there.
(Fuck. FUUUUUUCK. Now I'm thinking that this is Chromedome because he was stationed in Pretrex with Prowl when they were sent to investigate the assassination of Senator Sherma.
For all I care, Rattler could have been Swindle since... Y'know, he was trafficking humans. Though, now that I think about it, would Swindle even be old enough to do that??? FUUUUUUUUCK.)
"Old records saved of the Senator and his human Conjunx”
It's a file collection of holotapes and pictures: "Enjoy these are pre war photos of Senator Shockwave and his Human holding their sparkling" 
There are many holos and videos of the long gone senator smiling with his human perched on his shoulder, in the crystal garden with a young sparkling held in the human's arms. Videos of the sparkling playing with the two but the last The last holo looks like a family portrait with Shockwave’s frame in a lime green blue white paint with gold accessories,  his human lover is dressed in elegant robes and the small blue praxian sparkling held in their arms. Each holo is dated with the Iacon records seal of authentication. 
(Okay. Okay okay okay. I LOVE the fact that you decided to incorporate Laboratory Logs to Human Effects. Admittedly, I did not see that coming when I sent that ask. Smart move.
And uhhh... Now that a few mechs have seen the photos, wouldn't that mean that if they ever recognized a mech that looked a lot like Senator Shockwave's long lost sparkling, It'll further cement the fact that uhhhh.... Fuck. I think I lost the path.
Uhmmm... Think about it like this, when Ratchet sees the family photo and sees the little sparkling, wouldn't he recognize that it's Traxies?)
FlyBoi69: NO FREAKIN' WAY. Is this real?! *downloads files faster than Blurr* FRAG ME SIDEWAYS, I think I just popped a gasket! How in the PIT did you manage to dig up the holos of senator Shockwave, most of his speeches, debates and lectures were wiped. Where did you find this!
(Honestly though, I'm still not sure who this guy is. Could this be Misfire??? AHHHHHHH.
Who are you FlyBoi69?!)
Jackin0: of all mechs, with an actual human back in the Golden Age?!. I'm calling scrap on this being real. It's gotta be a flawless deepfake. By PRIMUS if true - to think ol' Shockers was living it up with a squishy. Maybe there's more to those Senatorial types than meets the optic...
(Jackie. Definitely Jackie. Ah! Sorry, I meant Wheeljack.
It's just cool to call him Jackie. ☺️)
T-Wrexz: Okay, I'll bite... but someone better explain to me RIGHT NOW how any of this computes! Last I checked, time travel and inter-species relationships were the stuff of erotic imagination, not legitimate pre-war archives. Tapemix, you better start talking. Where in the PIT did you source these files? How do we know they're authentic and not just an incredibly convincing parlour trick? Because if I'm gonna let these images ruin me, I wanna be ruined by the real deal! Spill it, mech. 
(I REALLY think this is Rewind. Cause Rewind likes to collect rare footage.)
Iacon-Records: Tapemix54 could i please request where you discovered these as i work with Iacon records and this here is history that needs to be preserved. I'm willing to talk with you through a contractor if you would be willing for us to add these back into the new hall of records. Cybertron has lost so much and to find something like this I ask that we find a way to preserve it.  
(Optimus. THIS IS OPTIMUS PRIME.
You can't get more Optimus than Iacon-Records.)
BigBotNoStop: Pit take me now... I think I may have to reassess everything I thought I knew about interface and partnerships. That human is holding a sparkling curled around them - frag if it isn't the most beautiful thing I've ever seen! If anything could make me believe in miracles, it's this! Tapemix, you glorious glitch - how can I ever repay such an enlightening gift?
(Okay. I'm getting more and more convinced that this is Skids.
On that note, I like to think that whoever managed to see the photos are going to think, 'I can have a sparkling with a human'.
Which is cool, but then a bummer if they found out that Tiny didn't actually carry Traxies but was instead adopted from a hotspot when he imprinted on Tiny.)
Tapemix54: These were filed only cycles after Shockwaves Emputra; they were added to the Iacon records by some Archivist under the title. 'I will Remember you for who you were'. This was right when the senate fell apart on the brink of the war. From my knowledge of information on Rattler he apparently had an outlier who he got to take them to different times since he was a shuttle made it easier to transport. That's from the  records that still exist at least. I'll take you up on that offer Iacon-records. 
(Okay. That mysterious archivist? Definitely Optimus.
...
But wasn't Optimus a police officer during that era??? Wasn't he working with Sentinel at that time???
And who's this mysterious shuttle??? Omega Supreme??? JDDKSJDLDHDKGKSGS.
And who's RATTLER?! So many questions and so little answers.)
Oh, and Tiny? I really want to thank you for humoring me. You have no idea how much help you've given.
And uhhh.... Yeah....
ACCEPT MY LOVE AND APPRECIATION.
꒰⁠⑅⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠꒱⁠˖⁠♡ TINY ♡⁠˖⁠꒰⁠ᵕ⁠༚⁠ᵕ⁠⑅⁠꒱
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