#i am anxious and this is a coping mechanism whats good

[realbeefman]

stacy is sooo interesting because she's in love with house but knows that they will never ever be able to have a healthy, stable, sane relationship because they're too similar so. she finds house-lite instead and marries him and. essentially moves on with her life! and is successful in this because she's a moderately well-adjusted person!

wilson, in contrast, never manages to escape the inevitable, in spite of his best efforts to find a house-lite of his very own, because he's an absolute fucking freak and ends up glued to house to the bitter. bitter end

[deoidesign]

.

[harmoonix]

🤍 𝔇𝔯𝔢𝔞𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔰 🐎

𝓐𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓸𝓵𝓸𝓰𝔂 𝓞𝓫𝓼𝓮𝓻𝓿𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼

🐎 I observed that Capricorn/Aquarius and Scorpio Venus tend not to fall that much in love relationships, definitely not as crazy about their love life rather more about their careers

🐎 Venus in the 11H or 11° 23° since the 11th house is related to the desires, these natives usually have a lot of desires/wishes towards their love life

🐎 Saturn in the 1H/6H/10H/12H are kinda anxious when starting something new because they are known to work and focus on the same thing for a long time, when it comes to starting something new it can be a challenge for them

🐎 Mars aspecting Saturn harshly, and if one of those planets is in the 7H, can indicate being patient in the couple - arguing/fight moments,

🐎 Chiron aspecting Venus or Moon can definitely go up for couple therapy when is needed because it can help

🐎 Cancers and Gemini placements can be good at crafting/creating. Cancers definitely for traditional crafting at home/homemade

🐎 Mars in Aries/in 1H or ar 1° 13° 25° is a known fact that these natives get irritated fast. They have an inner anger that comes out in random moments

🐎 Uranus in the 10H natives or Urnaus at 10° 22° probably have a desire/dream to end up successful at some point in their lives

🐎 Pisces/Gemini/Aquarius and Sagittarius Placements can be interested in space and physics/chemistry, I know so many of them who just love staying in a laboratory doing stuff

─────────────────────

Here I am, so young and strong

Right here in the place where we belong

─────────────────────

🐎 Cancer or Moon in your 7H can indicate a deep need for being nurtured or to nurture others in a relationship

🐎 Scorpio Placements are usually seen as the 'bad guys', but they were the ones to meet the most bad guys in their lives... like these people went through a lot

🐎 Aries/Scorpio/Sagittarius/Capricorn in the 3H can make a person bitter/colder in conversations and is usually when they are being verbally attacked by others

🐎 If we think about it Aquarius/Capricorn and Sagittarius Venus need a lot of freedom in their relationship, they love their relationship but also having some time for yourself is vital

🐎 Leo Venus/Moon/Rising really loves to get compliments. It is a nice thing to feel seen or appreciated by others

🐎 Aries and Pisces Venus needs a lot of trust in their relationship, don't be afraid to trust your partner, if they really love you, they wouldn't lie

🐎 Venus in Virgo/6H or at 6° and 18° is a really lovely placement because it talks about a devoted partner, probably someone picky as well

🐎 Juno aspecting Pluto can indicate a partner or relationship that will change you, so that means you won't be the same you after that relationship

🐎 North Node being less aspected can indicate confusion about what to do with your life next but also having it easier to go through your life stages

🐎 Capricorn Placements are wise since young and are a big indicator of an old soul. They will be more wise with their age

🐎 North Node aspecting Venus in both harsh and good aspects stands for finding a love for yourself, to appreciate yourself

🐎 Saturn aspecting the ascendant natives can isolate themselves from the world, it's like a coping mechanism to help them

🐎 If you have Mars in the 9H and you're in a relationship/marriage, you can have some sort of tension with your partner's parents or family

🐎 Pluto in your 8H/12H can indicate a good intuition but also a strong native because you'll have to go through hardships involving your own evolution

🐎 When you have 9H/12H placements and you haven't moved away from your homeland, you can end wish or crave that, you can crave for moving away

─────────────────────

I've been waiting for you

Here I am

─────────────────────

🐎 Mercury - Venus/Jupiter - Neptune/Mercury - Moon aspects in your chart bring creativity, you can have a creative mind

🐎 Saturn in the 1H/5H/8H helps with the self - improvement over the years, like you get better with the years/in the future

🐎 Most times, an earth Venus will look for stability in a love relationship. If they can't find it, they will just look for it

🐎 Jupiter aspecting Mars natives will get angry easily, and the fun thing is that.. you can see it on their faces..they cannot hide the anger

🐎 Harsh aspects between Sun and Moon can make you hate yourself at times and usually come from the imperfections of yourself. We are all imperfect and we should appreciate that

🐎 Spirit is such a childhood core, yet it feels like a fever dream. The emotional baggage of this movie is crazy. 🐎

[girlgenius1111]

please part 2

alexia x reader [the cover pic is completely unrelated to the fic except for that fact that she looks so incredibly snuggly here.] short little blurb post please... aftercare + conversation :)

You’d pulled out and shifted the both of you around so that Alexia was settled on top of your, cheek resting on your chest, waiting for her grip on you to slacken, when you felt the first tear drop hit your skin. You’d been lazily running your nails over the blonde’s back, but you lifted your head at the feeling, looking down at her. Her eyes were screwed shut, like she was in pain, and her lip was quivering. 

“Alexia,” you sighed. “Talk to me, please.” 

“Can you get me some water?” She whispered, not opening her eyes. 

“Of course. I’ll be right back.” You slid out from under her, pretending for her sake that you didn’t hear the low whine that involuntarily left her. 

You threw some shorts and a t-shirt on, one that was too large to be yours and headed to the kitchen. You returned with a glass of water, handing it to her, watching carefully as she sat up and drank the whole glass, before slumping back into the bed. 

You then dampened a small towel, and returned to Alexia to clean her up. You were gentle, and the water had been warm, yet the blonde still shuddered at the sensation. Her eyes were open, now, and red rimmed, following you around the room as you got her a sweatshirt and underwear to put on, handing them to her and gently nudging her towards the bathroom. She went easily, although her legs shook slightly, and you took the time to quickly change the sheets. You grabbed her favorite blanket from the living room, and when you returned, she was curled up on the bed, and she looked to be crying again. You were wondering if this whole thing had been a mistake, you’d misunderstood what she’d needed, and let her talk you into an unhealthy coping mechanism, when she sat up and looked at you. 

“Come to bed please?” Alexia asked. You nodded, sending her a small smile you hoped to be reassuring. Once you were on the bed next to her, she tugged you down, tucking both of you under the blanket, and burying her face in your chest. The hood of her sweatshirt was pulled up, and the only sign you had that she was, in fact, crying, was the slight shake of her shoulders, and the tight grip her hand had your shirt in. 

“My love, are you okay? Did we go too far?” You asked finally, scratching lightly at her scalp over her hood. 

“No, mi amor, you were perfect.” Alexia promised, pushing herself closer to you as if to prove her point. All it did was make you more worried; you were normally the clingy one. 

“Then why are you crying?” 

“I think something is wrong with me,” she mumbled, her voice thick with tears. “I do not feel right.” 

You teared up yourself hearing those words leaving her mouth, not quite sure what she meant, but absolutely convinced that it was true. Alexia hadn’t been herself recently. 

“What doesn’t feel right?” You asked, keeping your voice low and soothing, as if you were going to scare her away. 

“I am so stressed. I feel like I am falling apart and I do not know why.” 

“Baby, you don’t know why? You’ve been running yourself ragged the past few months. It was bound to catch up with you; being Barça’s captain and Spain’s captain? Coming back from a second knee surgery? The shitshow surrounding your renewal? That is a lot for anyone, Lex.” 

Alexia nodded somewhat impatiently. “Sí, but it has never felt like this before. I am used to pressure and stress but this feels different. I am so tired, amor. I need a break.” 

“Take a break, then, Alexia. No one would fault you for that.” 

“No, I cannot. I cannot.” Alexia said, sitting up off of you and resting her head in her hands. You sat up too, brushing her hair back out of her face. 

“Why can’t you?” 

“I am Alexia Putellas. I do not take breaks. I do not get anxious or stressed. I am supposed to be able to handle all this, be good enough to handle it all but I am not. I am not good enough anymore.” 

And there it was. The core of the issue; that Alexia, your perfect, sweet, Alexia didn’t feel that she was good enough anymore. If she wasn’t so upset, it would have been comical to you, because she was the closest to perfection you’d ever seen a person get. 

“Ale,” you began, but she cut you off. 

“Do not tell me I am, I know it is not true. I have been so focused on everything but you these last few months, I do not know why you are still with me. I am not good enough for you either,” she cried, though her hand reached blindly for yours, like she needed to feel you next to her. As if she was grasping at what she thought to be the end of your relationship. 

“Alexia, look at me please.” You asked softly, waiting until she turned her head to face you before you spoke. You placed your hand on her cheek, trying to prepare yourself for her inevitable reaction to what you were about to say. “You need help, baby. More help than I can give you. I wish I could say the right thing, and make you believe that you’re good enough, for me, for football, for everyone. Because you are, Alexia. You are the best person I know. And feeling like this isn’t okay. It isn’t normal for you. And I don’t know why it’s happening, if you’re burnt out, or the years of pushing yourself to the brink are finally catching up to you, but I don’t think you can solve this on your own.” 

She looked at you with a more open expression than you expected, which made you feel both better and worse at the same time. If she would agree to get help, that was good, really good. It also meant that she was feeling a lot worse than she would ever admit. The fear in her eyes was clear, and your chest ached at the thought of her feeling so horrible, and saying nothing about it. 

“I think you are right.” She said eventually. “I have been trying to fix it for months, and it has not worked.” 

“I’m really proud of you, Ale. I know this isn’t easy for you. And asking for help isn’t easy, but you did, and I am so proud of you. Estoy tan orgulloso de ti.” 

Alexia blinked back a few more tears, squeezing your hand tightly in hers. “I could not do any of this without you, mi amor,”  she said softly. She looked like she had more to say, opening and closing her mouth a few times before she shook her head. 

“What?” You asked, and she sighed, wishing you weren’t so observant. Or maybe wishing she wasn’t so obvious. 

When she spoke, her voice shook and cracked, like it wasn’t sure it could take your answer. 

“If I never play again like I used to. Would you still love me?” 

You hated how intrinsically Alexia tied her self worth to football. How she felt herself only worthy of love if she was playing well. 

“Alexia, sometimes you don’t use your brain. I would love you if you never played in another match again. If you never scored another goal, or won another trophy. You will, I’m sure of it. But I don’t love you because you’re Alexia Putellas. I love you because you are my sweet Ale. Who loves her mom more than anything, would kill for her sister. Who hates bananas but buys them anyway because I like them. Who cries when she sees videos of cute dogs, and who likes to sleep practically on top of me even when it’s hot. Who makes me feel loved every single day. I love you, Alexia. More than I love your talent and your achievements. You are more than enough for me without all that.” 

The force of the hug Alexia tackled you with knocked you back into the pillows. She held you tightly against her, only murmuring a soft and heavily accented, “thank you” in your ear. You hummed in response, settling into the pillows and pressing a delicate kiss to the side of Alexia’s head. It was quiet in the room for a while, until she abruptly sat up off you a few minutes later, an earnest smile on her face as she traced a finger faintly over your forehead. 

“I am going to marry you someday.” She said, so definitively that for a minute, all you could do was blink at her. 

“What?” You spluttered. You’d never really talked about marriage with Alexia. You were content to have her for as long as you were able. 

“Me voy a casar contigo algún día. I do not have a ring, and I do not have a plan. But I will. Just so you do not make other plans.” She smirked, leaning down to peck your cheek a few times. She was blushing, looking at you with so much love, it left you fighting back tears. 

“I guess I'll have to decline all those offers I have, then.” You joked, but the words were so choked up, Alexia only chuckled slightly, pulling you into another bone crushing hug. 

“Good. Because you are mine.” She murmured. 

You were pretty content with that, honestly. Being hers. 

-----

short but i hope this was what everyone was looking for :)

[godspeedviper]

How the therapists react to your "worst" symptoms - Headcanons

SFW || TW: mentions of self harm, mention of suicidal ideation, therapy sessions, very brief mention of (unlabeled) disordered eating, mention of psychosis & violent thoughts.

A/N: this was written by someone who has been in therapy for many years and has personal experience with these types of symptoms. this is not meant to romanticize any mental illness or symptoms of it. this is purely self indulgent fluff. just because your experience might be different doesn't make these experiences any less valid. if you don't like this simply do not read it, block if you must, and move on.

Jonathan Crane (Scarecrow)

He is the most objective and detached of the lot. Therefore he never seems to have much of a reaction no matter what you do or say to him. He really has seen it all before. This does help you feel less anxious as time goes on, knowing he won't ever judge you or ascribe any kind of morality to your actions.

"If it causes you distress or harm, then we should work towards eliminating it altogether." is his typical response to your concerns about your own coping mechanisms. "You do not owe anyone kindness, just remember to restrain yourself from causing harm whenever possible."

He is the only one to have no discernible reaction to your self harm scars/burns. One day, he noticed an especially fresh one and offered to disinfect and bandage the wound for you. He always gives you space to bring things up at your own pace, when you feel comfortable doing so.

"Not all of us have the capacity to be so gentle, and that's alright." he says about your outbursts. "I'm not known for being the warmest, but that doesn't make me any less skilled at my work, or any less worthy of respect. If you do not hold my lack of socially acceptable agreeableness against me, then you should not hold it against yourself."

Bonus: when you finally have the courage to mention the substance usage he remains as cool and detached as ever. "I am glad you were honest with me so we can monitor for any interactions with your medications. Know that I won't judge you for moderate usage, after all, do we not professionally refer to medications as drugs? It isn't ideal, but it is a way of self medicating. All I ask is that you be fully honest with me about your usage so I can better take care of you."

Hannibal Lecter (NBC)

He is surprisingly gentle and very soft spoken, although you were intimidated by him at first and the opulence of his office. He usually greets you with a warm smile and asks how your week went and if you've eaten yet today. He teaches you to enjoy food again, describing it as an art, and asking you to be mindful and present when enjoying a meal. Listen to your body, what it tells you about the ingredients, the quality of the meal, and the hands that made it.

He always asks you what you want to do, making sure to actively include you in your own treatment plan. He thoroughly explains treatment options, medications and their possible side effects, and has you weigh your options. This allows you to really analyze your own reactions and act accordingly when you are alone.

"Now, you do understand I am required to recommend inpatient treatment if you are feeling actively suicidal." he says, when you come in on an extra bad day. "However, I want to trust you and give you the option of what to do from here. If you think it will do you more harm than good, let me know, but you have to be honest."

One day you get the courage to ask why there is a first aid kit on his desk, though you already assume why. He simply looks at you and asks "Do you need it today?" before gently tending to your recent self harm wounds. He never calls you out for it, but he does periodically ask you upfront if you've been engaging in self injurious behaviors. If you respond yes, he asks to tend to your wounds, and if you say no, he celebrates with you. "Good. I'm proud of you for holding yourself back."

Bonus: when you land in the hospital, Hannibal makes sure to go visit you while your therapy slot is on hold. He never calls attention to the circumstances that lead you here, and focuses solely on your recovery and how he can't wait to have you back in the office soon.

Harleen Quinzel (Harley Quinn)

It doesn't take long for her to shed her professional demeanor. She makes you feel like you're talking to a close friend, yet manages to never fully lose the "doctor" in her. She offers you fidget toys as a way to ease the tension of talking about such vulnerable and heavy subjects.

She makes everything into a little game or a challenge to motivate you changing habits. Every time you manage to avoid indulging in negative coping mechanisms, she rewards you with a little heart shaped chocolate at the end of the session. On bad days, she simply encourages you to try again and she gifts you a cute bandaid at the end of the session to signify your healing from a bad day (sometimes, the bandaids come in handy for self harm wounds).

"Being childish can be a good thing!" she tells you. "Its important to have a little whimsy in your life. Just because you grew up doesn't mean you have to... ya know, grow up." She encourages you to try and add a little joy to your daily life. You start taking fuzzy tipped pens to work and keeping plushies at home for comfort. Surprisingly, it does help.

Every now and again she asks for your advice or assistance on minor things, such as which dress she should wear for a date, or what show to watch next. Sure, you are technically paying for her time, but this fact alone doesn't entirely relieve you of the feeling that you are burdensome. Whenever that feeling creeps back up, she reminds you of all the times you helped her make decisions until you admit your usefulness with a smile.

Bonus: "Hearing voices or other noises doesn't make you evil." is her reply when she learns of your psychotic symptoms. "Everyone is susceptible to experiencing psychosis. Hell, I've felt it when I was losing sleep in med school. It doesn't make you a bad person."

Hannibal Lecter (Silence of the Lambs)

You are intimidated by him at first, but his hypnotic voice grows on you. He always sounds so self assured, but never assertive. He has an almost paternal quality to him, making you feel simultaneously comfortable and protected.

He always listens to you intently, you never feel ignored by him. Hannibal is the only one that makes you feel seen and you tell him as much. "Oh everyone sees you my dear, you can be assured of that, but not everyone has the courage to acknowledge you. Keep this in mind for the next time you should feel the urge to do something drastic for attention."

You were worried you would eventually do something to turn him away, as you had to so many therapists before him. However, he simply scoffs at the idea that you could ever do anything that could possibly frighten him or upset him.

When you finally have the courage to tell him about the violent intrusive thoughts he remains as calm as ever. "In the past, we humans had to hunt to survive. We also had to protect ourselves and our kin. As time goes on, that propensity for violence remains, even if our survival is no longer dependent on it."

Bonus: You come clean to him about getting into a fight with someone, being entirely overtaken by rage and paranoia. You call yourself a monster and cry. "I have worked with serial killers, family annihilators, rapists the worst that the world has to offer. I know monsters. You are not one. You wanna know why?" You nod yes. "Because my dear, you have remorse and regret for your actions, they do not. Besides, you would not be sitting here with me if you did not want the anger to control you."

AO3 || Guidelines || Request || Ko-Fi

[cherryredstars]

hi! how u doin? could u pls do some angst hcs for Simon?? like how difficult the relationship is for him and his partner, what they would argue about, how the arguments are and whatnot yk i just luv the way u write him it's perfect♥️💋

Pairing: Simon “Ghost” Riley x gn!reader

Warnings: Angst with little comfort

Summary: Struggles with dating Simon

A/N: All the Simon requests in my inbox rn (there are only three) <3

Word Count: 1.5K (Not Edited)

The biggest struggle for you and Simon will always be the time he spends away on deployment. Especially in the beginning of your relationship where insecurity is at an all time high. You always hate when he’s away, the house feeling desolate and cold with his absence. You’re constantly anxious, scared and impatient for the next time he comes through that front door just to leave again. It was even worse when he was gone when something important happened, let it be a wedding or a funeral. It broke your heart that he ended up being away when these special moments occurred. 

You hated how often you showed up to family and friend events, at least one friend asking where Simon was and joking about how you must have scared him off. An extended family member whispering in your ear about how “men like that” only stayed away because something, someone, better made them want to stay. It only served to make your unstable, fragile relationship strain more.

On bad days where you needed comfort or someone to lean on, you grew the slightest bit resentful. It felt one-sided when it came to comfort. You had to always wait around for Simon: Wait until he comes back, wait until he’s ready to talk, wait for him to ask or he’ll feel ambushed, wait until he initiates the physical comfort that he never offers. But it seemed like you were always there for him. You were the one ready to give him kind words when he felt down, you were the one ready with a cup of his favorite tea and a good movie to distract him, you were the one that always had a hand or a shoulder or a hug prepared at a moment’s notice. So, why couldn’t he do the same for you?

Relationships are extremely stressful for Simon. It’s something he was to learn and he can’t seem to pick it up correctly. He always seems to do something wrong. He always forgets an important date even though he has it written down in his notes app, he gets your favorite things mixed up with the things you hate, he’s so unavailable all the time that he doesn’t know what to do when he isn’t. As time goes on, it’s easier to remember these things. He learns mistakes need to be made in order to learn. 

It doesn’t help that his horrible coping mechanisms seemed to find a spot in his relationship. It’s like an ugly stain on a carpet. So, when things get too hard or they become too overwhelming he does what he does best, hides from it. He puts up a barrier. He throws a rug or a piece of furniture over the stain to hide it away. That’s also the exact thing he does in the beginning of the relationship when something goes wrong. You guys fight? He has no idea what you’re talking about because he wasn’t present. Must have been between you and a friend while he was on deployment. Something he did makes you feel insecure about the relationship? All you’re getting in response is, “Maybe you just aren’t mature enough to date a military man.”

With Simon you are very familiar with the concept that words (or lack of words) hurt. He makes you feel stupid without even trying. You hate arguing with Simon because the two of you don’t argue, you argue. In the beginning of the relationship, Simon doesn’t say anything when you confront him. Well,nothing but, “It’s just the way I am”. You argue with him about how distant he is when he comes home? It’s just the way I am. You get angry because all you wanted was at least a bit of comfort after a shitty day that ended up with you crying on the way home and Simon didn’t even ask you what was wrong? It’s just the way I am. After arguments like that, arguments that always end with Maybe you just aren’t mature enough to date a military man, you think maybe he’s right. 

Simon hates himself for the way he treats you. He really does. You deserve better, he should be better. But no matter how hard he tries he can’t. He can’t bring himself to comfort you, or touch you, or love you correctly. It makes him want to find one of his military knives and stab himself where his heart is to see if it’s working correctly. As the relationship progresses, he gets better and better at being your dream man. But sometimes he has moments where he feels like he’s back at square one. Maybe, he thinks, I need a new heart.

Feelings are slightly taboo in your relationship in the beginning. Simon never wants to talk about his and you feel like you can’t talk about yours. But in the late nights, sometime after Simon has had a glass of liquor to sip on during a movie, the two of you will talk in slow whispers. One of those nights Simon asks you how to love you correctly. He asks you why you haven’t left him yet. You shrug and joke, “I guess I’m more mature now.” He will thank every star he sees that you are so understanding when he gives you no real reason to. He thanks every spec of dust that he’s learned how to do the same for you. 

He’s protective of you. He feels like he needs to be. He’s lost so many people dear to him, that he’s terrified he’ll lose you too. So he’s a little overbearing in the beginning. You weren’t initially allowed to pick him up at the airport when he got back, paranoid some spy would see the two of you together and you’d become a target. Wouldn't let you meet anyone on his squad, your name never once spoken around base. Refused to bring anything of yours with him when he went away, scared a stray hair or partial fingerprint would endanger your existence if it ended up in the wrong hands. You didn’t even get one of his dog tags until a few months into the relationship because he didn’t want any physical evidence tying you to him. He only let up after you had told him how insecure it made you feel. How, even though you knew that it wasn’t his intention, he made you feel like he was ashamed to be dating you. Like he wanted to keep you a secret because he didn’t want to be seen with you. God knows how many past relationships did the exact same thing. But, he’s trying to be your dream man. He relents and stuffs one of your favorite pens in his pocket the next time he leaves. When he gets to base, Soap’s first question is about how you’re doing. 

One of the largest struggles is getting Simon used to family life and civilian life again. He hasn’t had a real family in so long, he doesn’t remember how it feels like. He’s a brooding mess the first few times you bring him to a family gathering for the holidays. He’s off to the side, keeping conversation curt. One of your aunts whispered in your ear maybe it was better off when you came alone and he was on deployment. That causes a big fight, full of yelling and defending his honor. On the ride home you are fuming, getting even angrier when Simon apologizes for the way he was behaving. He didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your family. You tell him that’s ridiculous, that he was nothing to be sorry for. Your smile returns slightly when the image of him playing with your nieces and nephews flashes in your head.

One night, when Simon and you lay in bed before he leaves in the morning, he holds you close to his chest and plays with your hair. He mumbles soft words in your ear, rubbing the skin of your lower back softly. “Thank you for staying with me. I’m sorry for all the times I said you weren’t mature enough to date a military man. I was just scared.” You only hum, kissing his shoulder lovingly in response. He goes on a tangent, apologizing for all the things he did in the past that hurt you. He brings up some things you remember vividly, and things you don’t remember at all. At the end of it, he pulls away slightly and turns to his bedside drawer. He pulls it open, a silver band catching the moon’s light before he holds it between the two of you. He doesn’t ask, and you don’t answer. You hold your hand out, and he slips it onto your finger. In the morning, you hand him his thermos of tea and give him a quick kiss before he walks out and door. Even though his heart feels like it’s about to burst, Simon’s sure his heart is working just fine.

Do these suck lol??

[monkepawbz]

Kintsugi

Y/N and Wade have been married for several years now, and Wade is feeling extra sappy when Y/N announces she's pregnant for the second time with a second little girl. Wade reminisces on how Y/N, a former scientist, was able to save Wade all those years ago from the biggest threat he ever had: himself.

Warning: Lewd language and talk about sex and pregnancy. Reader discretion is advised (this is a Deadpool x Reader...obviously this rating is Mature at minimum...)

The scientist eventually got dressed and went downstairs to search for some food, a little anxious about how she was supposed to tell Ellie about the fact she wasn't going to be an only child anymore. Wade and Y/N's daughter, Ellie, had just turned nine years old and the couple had decided now was a good a time as any to add a new face to the family.

Wade followed her downstairs, his bare feet padding against the floor. "Hey, peanut? You okay?" he asked, noticing her tension. He leaned against the counter, watching as she rummaged through the fridge. "You're thinking about how to break it to Ellie, aren't you?"

"I am, yeah." She nodded pensively, reaching into the fridge and grabbing the whipped cream. She squirted some into her mouth and sighed, then turned back to look for something else in the fridge.

Wade chuckled and shook his head.

"You're really going to use whipped cream as a coping mechanism, huh?"

He pushed off the counter and walked over to her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind.

"Hey, maybe I can help you come up with a plan. You know, we are married for a reason. Or is that lil ring on that finger worthless now?" Wade joked, holding up his own hand to show his wedding band. It gleamed in the soft sunlight, making Y/N relax slightly upon seeing it.

"You're right, Wade. I'm sorry. I just...I dunno...what if she gets mad? Is all...'waah, you guys are totally ruining my life!' Or something..." The woman found some stuff to make a ham sandwich and grabbed it, setting down the whipped cream in the process. She shut the fridge door with her hip and walked over to the kitchen counter to start assembling her lunch.

Wade's arms tightened around her waist as he leaned in close, his voice taking on a soothing tone.

"Ahahahaha, peanut, you're thinking about this all wrong. Ellie loves us both, and she'll adjust to the new addition just fine. And if she doesn't...well, we'll deal with that when the time comes." He nuzzled her ear. "Besides, I've got a plan. We can make it fun! We can have a family meeting and explain everything together." Wade offered, which made Y/N relax slightly.

"How soon should we do this? We have no idea if it worked today. For all we know, we might have to keep trying to get me pregnant. After all...they taught us in high school that getting pregnant a second time was so much harder than the first time, Wade..." she rambled nervously. Wade gave her a lopsided grin, finding her as adorable as the day they first met.

Wade's grip on her waist relaxed, and he let out a deep sigh. "Yeah, yeah, I know all about the stats and stuff. But we're not gonna worry about that right now. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." He pulled back and looked at her with a serious expression. "Let's just focus on enjoying this moment for now. We've got our little bundle of kickass growing inside you, and we should be celebrating that! The second addition to the Deadpool family! Hot damn, I'm like Bruce Wayne collecting kids here!" He joked.

"But we don't actually know yet...we only just tried less than an hour ago...what if it didn't take?" She frowned, finally finding making a sandwich. She offered it to him, opting to make another one for just herself if he accepted the lunch. Wade graciously took the sandwich and watched as she grabbed him a plate from the cabinet behind her, giving her a silent 'thank you'. She smiled, then sighed as reality crashed back down onto her.

Wade's face lit up with a mischievous grin as he bit into the sandwich, groaning happily at how good it tasted.

"Ahahahaha, peanut, you're so worried about it not taking that I think we need to celebrate either way," His blue eyes sparkles with amusement as he continued. "Win or lose, we're having fun today. And if it didn't take...well, we'll just have to try again soon, won't we?~"

"I guess you're right. It not working just means more sex for the both of us, huh?" she smiled slightly, working on making her own sandwich quietly. Y/N giggled at how Wade hopped up and down excitedly, his sandwich gripped tightly in his hands.

Wade's eyes lit up with excitement as he nodded enthusiastically. "Oh, hell yeah! More sex is always a good thing in my book. And who knows, maybe we'll get lucky and it'll take on the second try," He chuckled to himself, taking another bite of his sandwich. "But even if not, I'm happy to keep trying...for science."

"Hmm, I think you just miss me and all the hot, raunchy sex we used to have before we became parents, don't you?~" Y/N giggled. "We both became so busy what with you being a dad and becoming more of an anti-hero and me switching jobs to stay at home with El."

Wade's face turned bright red as he coughed, trying to play it cool. "What? No way, peanut! I just...I mean, yeah, okay fine. You're right. Being parents is awesome and all that jazz, but let's be real...we used to have some crazy hot times in the bedroom," He winked at her mischievously. "And I'm not saying we can't get back to those times now that Ellie's getting older."

"So you dig the mom bod?" she asked self-consciously. Wade nodded eagerly.

"Uh, a doy, my little MILF. Of course I dig the mom bod, sugar tits. You always looked bangin' but the way you got all curved up makes me hard as a rock God DAYUM." He flirted, spanking her ass playfully. Y/N yelped, her face turning bright red in response.

"Wade, knock it off..." she laughed, clearly flustered.

"Why should I, pookie bear? I'm just giving you some good ole fashioned Wade Wilson luvins! I wanna make my dear wifey feel better, and what better way than doing what I do best? Being a vulgar and annoying asshole to her?" Wade grinned, the smile almost reminiscent of the Cheshire Cat from Alice In Wonderland. Y/N rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile.

"There's that smile, firecracker! I love having such a sexy wife all to myself! Not once have I wanted anyone else as soon as you strutted your way into my life, pretty girl." Wade flirted, lightly spanking his wife's ass again and howling obnoxiously like a wolf. Her eyes sparkled with amusement as she playfully tried to swat at Wade's hand, but he was too quick and continued to tease her. She let out a little squeal of delight as he spanked her ass, feeling a rush of excitement course through her veins.

"Oh, stop it! You're making me blush!" She laughed, trying to maintain a stern expression while secretly enjoying all the attention.

"Nuh uh, no. I vowed to make you feel good today, and that means I gotta get those feels back up to the good status." He whispered, moving behind her and cupping both her breasts. He softly massaged both, feeling her melt slightly against his warm hands.

"That's it, baby. Let me take care of you today. I wanna make today all about you. You've done so much for our family and have always been there for me, even when I was a blabbermouth of a Merc. Yet you always seemed to see the good in me. You remember that talk we had all those years ago? About the kintsugi thing?" He asked, his voice turning to a low rumble as he continued to massage her breasts. She sighed and leaned her back against his chest, relaxing even more as they stood together in the middle of the kitchen. The sunshine illuminated her hair, making it even more shiny as it framed her face just right.

"Yeah, I think so. Something about us fixing each other like the kintsugi concept, yeah?" Y/N asked tentatively. Wade nodded, kissing her neck softly.

"You're a damn good scientist, baby. Never let that go, okay? You always talk big shit about me being an anti-hero now...but you're really the one who deserves more praise. You saved my life. If it wasn't for you, I'd still probably be semi-homeless, addicted to drugs and addicted to meaningless relationships as a merc. You saw someone so genuinely fucked up and decided...'I want that one'. And dammit, I can't lie, your stubbornness really came in handy this time." Wade chuckled softly, a warm smile on his lips. "Plus, that serum you made all those years ago gave me my looks back. Now our daughter has a normal looking dad and never has to know what I looked like before. And yeah, you didn't mind when I was all mutated and cancery, but I did, peanut...I did...cause why would such a goddess like you want anything to do with some freak like me...?" He hid his face against her back. Dammit, he hated being vulnerable, but he knew Y/N needed to know the truth. Over the years he had become a lot more sappy thanks to her.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she felt Wade's words wash over her. She wanted to hold him close, but he continued to hide his face against her back.

"Wade, stop it," She whispered, trying to keep her voice steady. "You're being ridiculous...I loved you then and I love you now. You were never a freak to me...you were always my broken thing of beauty." She smiled softly, feeling a lump form in her throat.

"Oh come on...let's face the music, Y/N. I don't think life would be as good or even as easy if I didn't look like my old self again...you really gave me a whole-ass second chance, babe. You brought me back to life and screamed in my face 'YOU MATTER' until eventually you got me believing it, too. That's damn impressive if you ask me. You...managed to fix the Merc With A Mouth." Wade moved to stand in front of her and cupped both her cheeks with his hands, causing her to look up at him and set down her sandwich on the counter.

Y/N's eyes sparkled with tears as she looked up at Wade, her voice barely above a whisper.* "You're making me cry again, dammit," She whispered, her voice trembling with emotion.

"But you know what? I don't care. Because when I look at you...I see the man I fell in love with. The one who was broken and lost, but still had so much heart. And that's what I fixed...not just your face." She smiled softly, wiping away a tear from the corner of her eye.

"How the hell did a devil like me get an angel like you, sweet stuff?" Wade laughed, voice heavy with emotion. Damn, now HE wanted to cry a little. Fuck, being a husband and father had made him go soft. Whatever, it's not like he needed to be overly cocky at the moment, anyways.

"You're no devil. You just needed someone to talk to. Someone to actually listen to the shit you were saying. I don't think anyone did before, did they?" Y/N asked softly, and Wade nodded.

"When you're a merc like I was, talk was kinda cheap in the grand scheme of things, ya know? But well, surprisingly I'm happy I decided to become less of a mercenary and more of an anti-hero. Maybe the Avengers will finally take me on, yeah?" His blue eyes shined with hope as he looked at her. She smiled warmly at him and reached up to ruffle his fluffy brown hair.

"Wade, they would be lucky to have a guy like you on their team." Y/N said.

The couple embraced, swaying slowly in the middle of the kitchen. They were happy, and that's all that really mattered in the end.

[thelunarsystemwrites]

Lunar's mental health. An update.

TW: bad mental health, EDs, depression, s/h, personal stuff, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, vent, self hate, heavy topics.

Sorry I haven't been posting!!

An update on me.

...Hi, you might know me as Lunar, or, TheLunarSystemWrites! I'm just an artist on here, trying to do things I like.... right?

Well, unfortunately, real life doesn't really... care. It doesn't care if I have friends to talk to, art to make, things I like to do.

I've been exhausted, physically and mentally. I've been busy working a lot in our home. (Painting, building, packing, inside work, cooking, etc) and it's always stressful... we're starting to get a little tight on money.

I've spent majority of my time in my bed. I don't wanna face my family members, so I've hidden away. It's hard to get up every day, and try to find the will to take care of myself.

I also recently relapsed with Bulimia, a disorder that, essentially means I throw up whatever I eat. I've been purging since September 16th, 2022. But I had awhile where I only purged once a day or none, but I'm back at it with full force. So my body doesn't have any energy left. I've also now lost my periods do to it.

I don't sleep well. It's much easier to stay up all night than waste my only free time sleeping. So I have no energy from sleeping well unless I sleep a whole day away, which makes me groggy.

Self harm is also something bothering me too, I'm too tired to do it and yet I keep doing it. Wasting precious spoons on it, I literally can't be clean for a whole year this year, that dream is dead. But, I am a few days clean as I type!

Suicidal and intrusive thoughts have been.... pesky. But I can't just leave my friends, plus I have prizes to make.

But, I'm unmotivated. I can't seem to write or draw anything. All my art is looking... regressed, to me. Everything is repetitive.

I've hated myself now more than ever in my life, I'm in a pretty bad place and I hate how self aware I am.

SPEAKING of regression! I have like, regression block. My brain isn't working with me, isn't regressing unless Involuntary. So my main coping mechanism is.... out of order.

I've been angry at the world, really pissy and moody. Tired, hungry, sad, then happy but not much. Numbness is a huge factor, I'm feeling depressed.

Not to mention, there's drama everywhere I look. This creator gets bullied, that one turns out to be disgusting. People get doxxed over opinions... it's constantly anxiety that I'll be wrongly accused, ridiculed, or abandoned. It's terrifying that people will go at each other's throats. It's exhausting to deal with it and be dragged into drama with problematic people.

Every day has been the same for me for the past 3 years. I'm tired, bored, understimulation controls me.

My friends are my lifeline right now.

I feel uncomfortable in my own body all the time, unsatisfied with my art, everything is essentially falling apart in my life.

Depression, anxiety... not a good mix to wake up disoriented and anxious, then gave zero spoons throughout the day. I'm not in a good home situation right now.

So... I kinda just... haven't been posting, role-playing, answering DMs, answering asks, etc...

I'm burnt out.

I feel like I'm a walking corpse.

Useless even.

I don't feel like myself anymore, I barely have the energy to talk to friends, every little bad things sets me back. I just can't bring myself to really engage much anymore.

So... sorry. I'm sorry, if I wasted your time. Or if this isn't like what you wanted to hear. I'm just not okay anymore, April was the last good month I had this year. APRIL.

I just wanted to update you all, there's a lot of other stuff I didn't share because it's nit important. I swear I'll get to the prizes eventually, I just ain't up to it right now. Might not be for awhile, apologies in advance!!

Hope you guys can understand, I might or might not be back to doing art, who knows. But I'll definitely get things done before that if I ever stopped. It just doesn't bring me joy, I used to hope I'd make an AU people cares about, and I've barely achieved that ^^"

Hope you're all well!! Stay safe, take care!! Remember to hydrate and to try eating if you can, you're spectacular!!!

Daily clicks!! ^^

Previous pinned post.

[smol-eepy-femboy]

(Reminder: I do NOT have a feminization kink! I just like dressing up and feeling pretty. While I do like submitting to someone and letting them dress me up, I do NOT like being humiliated about it. THIS IS A COPING MECHANISM FOR ME AND I JUST WANNA BE A PRINCESS SOMETIMES🥺)

I finally open up to you about my feminine side, about how I like dressing up girly because it makes me feel better about how I look. I’m not sure if you like this side of me, but little do I know you desperately want to show off your pretty boyfriend in an outfit you just bought for me. You tell me we’re going out, but don’t go into details except for “I need to help you get ready.” You start off by shaving off all my body hair until my skin is smooth. Then you lay out the feminine outfit you want me to wear. I blush as I see how feminine it is. It’s a decently short skirt, thigh highs, and your crop top hoodie. I stand there staring at the outfit, feeling my cheeks grow a darker shade of red. “This is the outfit you wanted me to wear?” I question as I feel myself grow increasingly anxious knowing I’d be going out in public. “Well…how else am I supposed to show off my pretty boy?” You smirk at me imagining how perfect the outfit would look on me. “Go on darling, mommy wants to see how gorgeous my princess looks in their new outfit!” I internally melt as I hear that name, and I quickly begin putting on the outfit, not wanting to disappoint you. As I start putting on the skirt, you stop me. “Hold on beautiful, I forgot something.” I feel my heart flutter as I wonder to myself what the last item could be. You then return, another smirk on your face as you approach me. You admire my freshly shaven body as I’m standing there in just my boxers. You then hand me another bag from the store, “Sorry baby, but those boxers won’t do, they’ll peek out under your skirt and it will ruin the outfit.” I frown as I open up the bag and pull out a pair of…panties. You look down at me seeing my eyes widen, my face now completely red. “Come on babe, put them on for me, you wanna be a good princess right?” “Y-yes mommy,” I stutter. I put on the rest of the outfit and turn back around to see you blush a little bit, your eyes sparkling as you coo at me about how cute I look. “There’s my gorgeous boy, so so pretty aren’t you? Now it’s time to do your nails and makeup!” I get more nervous but it makes me smile seeing how excited you are. You do my nails and some simple makeup and have me stand in the mirror to see how I look. My mouth drops open as I gasp. I look…prettier?! I feel my eyes tear up as I actually start admiring how I look but…I feel so guilty. “I look ridiculous” I say as I try to fight back tears, “why am I like this?” You wrap your arms around me and kiss my forehead. “Baby, you aren’t ridiculous, if this helps you feel more positive about your body, then so be it! I actually really love this about you, I’m happy that you get to be both my prince and my princess.” You lift my chin and wipe the tears from my eyes. “You’re perfect the way you are, I love you beautiful.” “I love you too mommy, but no one will be as perfect as you,” I reply as I admire the goddess standing in front of me. “Come on baby, let’s go get some food, I wanna show off my gorgeous princess….”

SORRY I KNOW THIS ONES LONG MY MIND JUST KEPT THINKING OF MORE🥹

PART 2 MAYBE???

[smokerswifey]

This may be unpopular but Tristan aint no good leader ,he let one of members die due somthing less important, no wonder meliodas dosent really trust him or feel like the can up huge responsibilits on tristan. And never really say anything when isolde ,Jade or Chion do somthing wrong . You saw him lol

Pretty sure Chion and Jade don't really see him as friend ,mabye the relationship is forced.🤷‍♀️ idk..

This kind of a really harsh take tbh .

Tristan is only sixteen years old he obviously isn't meant to be " a good leader " . He's still a child you can't expect him to be as good as his father or howzer or zeldris or king.

And Jade dying isn't entirely Tristan's fault, sure if he had dealt with Io more rapidly maybe, MAYBE Jade would've survived but again Jade's death is obviously the guy who killed an innocent teenager's fault and not some other teen who wasn't sitting on his ass and was fighting his own battle as well .

And Meliodas trusts Tristan a whole bunch that isn't the issue . The issue is that Tristan doesn't trust himself ( not using his demon side and whatnot ) so he can never use his full potential and holds back . And sadly they are in a war so if Tristan refuses to go all out, Meli has to let someone who won't hold back carry out the mission ( that person being Percy )

And Jade already told us what he thought about Tristan, he cared for him as a friend and also admired him but simultaneously hated his guts so their friendship is a bit odd ?

Even tho Jade was jealous of Tristan being Isolde's hero, we've still seen him show some care towards Tristan during the chapters where he was alive so I do think Jade must've cared for him at least a bit .

And I am sure that Chion does care for Tristan à lot as a friend but he's kinda turned most of that care into an unhealthy obsession as a coping mechanism since Tristan was the one who saved him from abuse, so he turned his gratitude and admiration for him into deep obsession and possesivness ..But overall I do think he cares for him .

I actually like that Tristan isn't some hybrid Mary Sue perfect prince or whatever.

He has flaws and he makes mistakes even tho all of his friends think that he's perfection incarnate .

That makes him anxious and angry towards himself because everyone has all of these expectations towards him and he doesn't want to let him down .

In that aspect he's extremly relatable because everyone wants to make their close ones proud of them .

I think that Tristan is a wonderful character and in time he will overcome his insecurities and become an incredible leader .

But for know let him learn, let him fail, let him get back up on his feet and try again .

[vaughnwrites]

Stressed Out

adaman x reader

(after a hell of a long hiatus, i am back from the dead! kinda. so, i'm not going to promise anything anymore as i apparently never know when inspiration is going to strike, and i never know where the hyperfixation will take me. i was trying to get this out for nine months now, but this was... not coming until tonight. sorry y'all for the wait, but here it is after all this time! also, this is my longest one to date. the others barely scratched 1000 words, some managing 1700, but this one... is a beast. it's near 3000 words. the inspiration to write struck me hard. hope you guys enjoy! )

reader is gender-neutral. they/them pronouns will be used if any pronouns at all.

finally, i bring to you this prompt

—

Everything was overwhelming.

The past few weeks, the stress had been mounting as you fought tooth and nail to be seen as an asset rather than a nuisance. You wore yourself down to the bone, putting your heart and soul trying to please everyone so the suspicion would die down only for it to mount more and more with people with each passing day. You had already been cast out once, and earned your way back into the Galaxy team. So why were people still suspicious? How much would you have to do to gain everyone’s trust? Why did you constantly have to fight for everyone’s approval?

Why did the other clan leaders believe in you more than your own clan did?

All you craved was somewhere to call home again. Somewhere you could rest your head at night and simply sleep, rather than spending all your time being anxious about one wrong perceived move and you’d be kicked out of the village again. The stress felt like it was piling up on your already tense shoulders, and you felt so overwhelmed. 

Everything was overwhelming.

Instead of slamming your fists into the first and cursing everyone to please, for the love of all that is holy, give me some credit — you got to work. Like always.

You’d overheard about a Zorua outbreak in the Alabaster Icelands, which was exactly what you needed. A young man in the village had asked to see the completed entry for Zorua, so this would be the perfect opportunity to finally cross this Pokemon off your to-do list. So, off you set toward the Pearl Clan settlement so you could check in in case something goes wrong. Even though you were far more trusting of Pokemon than others around you, you still didn’t underestimate the ones that were absolutely ready to kill you in a moment’s notice. Alpha Pokemon were far more angry than any other Pokemon you’d come across in your time.

Arriving in the Pearl settlement, the snow softly crunching under your boots, you hear not one, but two familiar voices to the side. Oh, Adaman is here as well. You vaguely remember them talking about a meeting about… something about traditions, or something? The details were fuzzy. You have been focusing far more on your own tasks and stresses than anything else.

Irida noticed your presence almost immediately and smiles, waving you over. Adaman joined along when he sees you as well.

“Well, our favourite Galaxy member is here! How are you?”

“I’m good, Irida, thank you.” You offer her a kind smile, keeping all your stresses tucked away neatly into a corner of your mind. Put them in a box, and file it away. Not the healthiest coping mechanism, but one that’ll at least get you through this. “How are you guys doing?”

“We’re just discussing our cultures and possibly having a party to mingle the clans a little easier,” Adaman responded easily, throwing up his three fingers as a hello with his signature grin that never fails to make you smile in return.

“Sounds like fun.”

“It isn’t.”

“Hey!” Irida responded, stomping her foot down with her hands clenched at her sides. “I’m not the one being unreasonable!”

“Yeah yeah,” he waved her off, then turned his attention toward you. “What brings you here?”

“There’s a Zorua outbreak around the Bonechill Wastes area, and I wanted to complete my research on this guy while I still have the chance.” You neglected to tell them someone from Galaxy wanted the information as well.

Adaman raised an eyebrow. “Shouldn’t you have someone to come along with you?”

You opened your mouth to say no before Irida cuts in. “You volunteering? Provided you don’t freeze to death first,” she teased as she jabs him in the ribs playfully, and grinned at his responding yelp and pout. “Jesting aside — you really should have someone to accompany you. An Alpha Glalie tends to roam that area, and no one has dared to come close to it. It seems really powerful. I wouldn’t be comfortable with you going alone.”

Adaman pursed his lips in thought. “Yeah, now that you mention it, I feel like I’ve gotten a glimpse of that Glalie before.” He turned to Irida. “You said no one has come close to it before to know its true strength?”

She shook her head. “We’ve all been too scared to try.”

“I’m sure it won’t be a problem for me,” you interjected, trying to quell their fears. “After everything I’ve faced, it feels like I should be dead at minimum four times over.”

The clan leaders share a glance to each other. It seems they’re talking through just their looks, but what they could possibly be communicating is lost on you. “Adaman, please go with them. I would go if I didn’t have a meeting later on that I cannot miss. But I know you’ll keep them safe.”

“Do I get a say in this?”

“No,” both clan leaders respond at the same time.

You were split on this decision. Deep down, you did really like Adaman — and not just as a friend. Any time spent with him you keep near and dear to your heart. His smile that could light up a room and his long hair that you wanted to card your fingers through. But with the stress you’ve been under and how overwhelmed you’ve been, you’re unsure if you can handle a couple hours of him bitching about how cold it was. One too many comments and you weren’t sure if you could keep it all bottled anymore.

Yet, you also knew having someone with you would be more helpful than not. You didn’t know how strong the Zorua were going to be after all. If they ended up being feisty and ganged up on you, there’s no way you’d leave the battle unscathed. Add an Alpha Glalie to the mix and you’d be dead as dust in less than a heartbeat. You weighed your options (which, technically, they weren’t giving you any) and finally caved in. You weren’t gonna win this fight anyway. “Think you can talk about more than how cold it is?”

“I’m sure I can come up with something. But if it wasn’t so damn cold I wouldn’t complain about it all the time.”

“It’s not even that cold!” Irida scoffed, throwing her hands in the air. “I don’t know how you don’t boil over in the Crimson Mirelands!”

“It’s barely warm enough there for me. It can get really cold by the water, y’know.”

“You’re both impossible,” you cut in to break off the sibling-esque fighting before it can truly start. “Now c’mon, I wanna get going before it gets dark outside.”

And off you and Adaman went, hands in your respective pockets.

You didn’t expect to fall in love with the Zorua like you did.

They were so cute with their flowy hair and expressive eyes. Most were on the attack if they saw you, but crouching down from a good distance away and just watching seemed to be okay. One had strayed away from the group toward you and Adaman, and you both held your breath so it wouldn’t notice you. It failed, as it did notice you, but it didn’t seem to be angry. It walked up to you slowly, and out of habit you gave it your hand to sniff so it wouldn’t see you as a threat.

It rubbed the side of its head against your hand, causing you to smile from ear to ear.

“You really do have a way with Pokemon, don’t you?” Adaman commented, watching everything with a small smile of his own. “They just trust you so implicitly. It’s one of the many things I love about you.”

Your cheeks went up in flames at the compliment, but the cold would cover it up as they were already pretty red. “I think they can just sense that I’m not here to harm them.” You started to pet the Zorua behind its ear, causing its eyes to close. “Sometimes I feel like they’re the only ones that can.”

“What do you mean?”

Oops. You hadn’t meant for this to be a therapy session. “I just… I don’t know. I guess it feels like humans always think they’re about to be betrayed, stabbed in the back. One wrong move and you’re crucified. But Pokemon… They don’t seem to be that way. Some Pokemon can sense a good person when they see one. That seems to be… a lot more rare in humans.”

“I know you’re a good person,” Adaman said softly, putting one hand on your arm.

Before you can even think about a response or the fact he’s showing a more sensitive side of himself to you, a noise catches the three of you off guard.

“Shit,” you breathe, feeling your entire body freeze with fear. “The Alpha.”

You both bounce to your feet as the Alpha comes over the hill behind the Zorua and Adaman. You can see the Glalie is pissed off that people are invading its territory, and wants to get rid of the intruders. An ice beam begins to form, and before you can think, you jump in front of Adaman and the Zorua.

The blast hit you in full force.

Your fingers and feet go completely numb almost immediately, though it almost feels like you’re not even cold anymore. You almost feel warm, actually, and you know that’s an incredibly bad sign. The sky is a beautiful haze of orange and purple as the sun is setting behind the clouds, and for a moment you just take in the colours swirling in your vision. It feels like everything has a layer of clouds over it, and your mind feels stuffed full of cotton. Oh, this is probably a very bad sign.

You can hear a call of your name, as warbled and muffled as you heard it, but can’t really respond to it. Adaman lifted your torso and pressed your back against his chest, his arms wrapped around you with his haori encasing you against him. The Zorua was curled in your lap, and you just felt… warm. You try to say thank you, but your lips feel tingly. Funny. You know you’re slurring even if you can’t hear much yourself. You try your hardest to communicate one word to Adaman.

“Camp.”

With that, though, you go unconscious.

—

You have no idea how much time has passed, but the next thing you know, you’re nice and warm in a tent. Blankets are stacked on top of you, and the fire in the furnace is crackling softly. You’re cozy and warm, but something feels… different. You sit up a bit, and promptly look down.

Oh. You’re definitely not wearing the clothes that you were wearing when you were out hunting for Zorua. You were wrapped up in a yukata that you didn’t recognise, but definitely knew the pearl clan symbol and colours. You wrapped it closer to yourself, then wrapped the blankets around you tightly for warmth. The clothes you had been wearing were hanging over a rack by the stove, seemingly drying off after the long day they’d been through.

You didn’t really know what to do. You’re not even sure what you managed to accomplish for research, or what you’re wearing, or what time it is, or really… anything. You don’t know anything that’s happened since you were out with Adaman. Now, it seems you’re alone in this little area. 

The tears fall before you even really mean them to.

When the first teardrop hit your hand, you realised what’s going on. The stress of everything was finally boiling over now that you feel comfortable and safe. You’re confused, but you’re comfortable and safe which is all you’ve wanted to feel for a while.

You allowed yourself to cry.

Trying not to be loud, you cry silently to yourself while wrapped up in blankets and the yukata, pulling the items tightly against you so you feel swaddled. You rock back and forth and let yourself have your small breakdown.

Until Adaman popped open the tent flaps to check on you, apparently.

Almost immediately your hands fly to your face to cover your tear-tracked cheeks and red eyes, burying your face into the softness of the blanket. You don’t say anything, and neither does he. But all it takes is him walking up and gently touching the top of your hair before you break completely.

The stress of everything came boiling over the edge, the fear of almost dying, the unknown of whether the research you obtained was enough to complete the entry on Zorua, whether you would have a home to go back to in Galaxy. Everything boiled up and you pressed the top of your head into Adaman’s stomach to cry.

He rubbed your back and shoulders gently as you sobbed, gently shushing you and reassuring you that you were safe, you were okay, everyone was okay. He was the much-needed rock in your mind to cling to so your head stayed above the water of emotions. Everything was going to be fine.

Everything was going to be fine.

Eventually your tears slowed and your breathing evened out, pulling away from Adaman to give him room and let him back up if he wanted. (You couldn’t help but notice he didn’t.) “I’m sorry. I didn’t… mean to break down.”

“You’ve been through a lot today, it’s understandable why you would.” Adaman sat down on the bed next to you and handed you a towel to wipe your face. “You’re in a spare tent right now, one they have set out for visitors or harmed individuals found in the wild. Do you remember what happened?”

You nodded, refusing to speak any words.

“You really scared me, y’know. When I saw that ice blast hit you, I… I saw you skid backward in the snow, and your lips were already blue. That was one of the scariest moments of my life, but I’m glad I went with you to keep you safe. Makes me want to go everywhere with you to always make sure you’re safe.”

An eyebrow raised as you look at him. “Wouldn’t that be a waste of your time?”

“Saving you wasn’t a waste of time. And I’d do it all over again, and again, just to keep you safe.”

You’re stunned speechless. You don’t know how to respond with words, so you do the next best appropriate thing — hug him. It starts as a side hug that quickly develops into a full hug, and by the way you’re both gripping each other… it seems neither one of you wants to let go.

“Adaman…” you whispered, holding him tightly. “Thank you. I couldn’t ask for a better —” you pause. You can’t say friend. He’s more than a friend at this point, in your heart, but that’s not something you can say. “— for a better person in my life. You’ve been so helpful to me, and I just… I’m so thankful for you.”

You can feel him smile against your shoulder, which makes you smile. “And I, you.”

He pulled back from the hug slowly, as if he was fighting himself. But he let go and instead stood up, grabbing the bowl he’d at some point set on the counter next to you. “I brought this in to try and wake you up to get something in your stomach, when… well, y’know.” Adaman rubbed the back of his neck. “You should get some warm food in your system though. It’ll help out.”

You grabbed the bowl of what appears to be some sort of soup, and you’re glad to have something else besides potato mochi to eat tonight. “Thank you.”

As you began to eat your soup, Adaman began to explain everything. “So that Zorua you saved came back with us. It’s sleeping with all your Pokeballs in Irida’s tent so she could keep an eye on them, and so they didn’t try to warm you too fast.” Ah, that explained the lack of Pokeballs with your clothes. “That Zorua seems pretty attached. I think you found yourself a new buddy.”

Both of you talk about the Zorua, about the research of all types of Pokemon and how it’s all going, talk about how cold it is and how much warmer the Crimson Mirelands is, how the clan meeting seems to be coming along well even through the bickering Irida and him do. Eventually, you finish your soup and set the bowl onto the chest next to you. Adaman clears his throat and begins to stand. 

“It’s about time for sleep, so I guess I’ll —”

“Please stay with me.”

Adaman’s eyebrows shot through the sky as he looked at you. “What?”

“Please, stay with me. I could use another person here so I’m not… I’m not alone.” You bowed your head. “And I don’t want you to go. But if you do, I understand.”

Hands rest on your shoulders and you looked up, meeting his eyes and matching his smile. “I would love nothing more than that. I don’t want to leave your side. Not now, not…” he stopped, but you finished it.

“Not ever?”

He smiled warmly, and it warms your soul. “Not ever.”

“Then stay with me. Tonight, at least. We’ll figure out the rest later.”

“You got it.”

He slid under the blankets with you, and without a second thought, you curled up next to him for warmth. You were warm, but after how cold you were today… warm didn’t seem to be enough. Adaman’s arms wrapped around you protectively, and with your head on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat gently lulled you into a peaceful slumber.

[mikeandikeschmidt]

movie!FNAF Incorrect Quotes: Part 2

Happy Thanksgiving!

WILLIAM: The first step to every successful murder is to have fun and be yourself.

•••

VANESSA: Avenge my death

MIKE: But you're not dying...

VANESSA: AVENGE ME!

•••

VANESSA, over the phone: Do you see the blue wire?

MIKE: Yeah? *reaches for it*

VANESSA: Don't touch it

MIKE, yanking his hand back: Start with, 'don't'!

•••

MIKE: I want to sit in a comfortable chair, watch television, and go to sleep at a reasonable hour.

•••

MIKE, opening a Capri Sun: Guess I'll drink my sorrows away.

•••

MIKE: Okay Google, how do I get revenge on those who have forsaken me?

Google: The best revenge is letting go and living well.

MIKE:

MIKE: Bing, how do I get–

•••

MIKE: Kill me now

ABBY: Sorry, no can do. I need your help with my homework.

•••

WILLIAM: I'm never donating blood again! The second you walk in, it's just one invasive question after another!

WILLIAM: "Where'd you get the blood?" and, "Why is it in a bucket?"

•••

MIKE: I have to admit something to you guys...I slept in jeans last night

CHICA: Mr. Cupcake, kick him out of here

•••

VANESSA, watching Mike doing upper-body exercises: He's been going at it for a while. I wonder where he finds the motivation

MIKE, under his breath: I'm going to get so good at hugging my baby sister

•••

ABBY: Then what are you saying? Find new friends?

MIKE: I'm not saying find new friends, I'm...

MIKE: Yes, I am. Find new friends.

•••

VANESSA: *Trying to sneak past her dad*

WILLIAM: Don't even think about it

VANESSA: How'd you know?

WILLIAM: I'm your father. I know everything. Now, where have you been?

VANESSA: I thought you knew everything.

[if this was the movie, this would be the part she got choked]

•••

MIKE: Shh! Did everybody hear that? Do you know what that sound was?

ABBY: What?

MIKE: That was the sound of my patience shattering into a billion little pieces.

•••

MIKE: What doesn't kill you, gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.

•••

VANESSA: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!

ABBY: *helps Mike onto the table*

GOLDEN FREDDY: *kicks Mike off the table*

VANESSA: As you can see, there are two types of kids.

•••

GOLDEN FREDDY, narrating: And that's when they became horribly lost.

ABBY: Are we lost?

MIKE: No!

GOLDEN FREDDY: He lied.

MIKE: Stop it!

•••

VANESSA: Esto es tu culpa.

MIKE: *sighs* I know, I know!

ABBY: Wait, you speak Spanish?

MIKE: I know the phrase 'this is your fault' in every language spoken to me.

•••

MIKE: It's so hard to be a single mom when she’s not your biological daughter and are an adult man.

•••

[After building the infamous fort]

ABBY: It's moments like these that I'll never forget

MIKE: With enough therapy, hopefully, someday I will

•••

ABBY: Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering.

GOLDEN FREDDY: Abby, what's wrong? Are you okay??

ABBY: Mike stole my garlic bread

•••

VANESSA, helping Mike after he got knocked unconscious: Aww, you poor thing

MIKE, completely out of it: Don't bring my finances into this

•••

VANESSA: Do you ever worry you'll regret the things you're doing now, in the future?

MIKE: No, I just regret everything instantly

•••

MIKE: I need caffeine.

ABBY: Doesn't it give you anxiety?

MIKE: Yes. But it also gives me energy. So I can feel anxious longer.

•••

MIKE: Where's my sister?

GOLDEN FREDDY: Don't worry about Abby

MIKE: Oh, I'm sorry, have you met me?

•••

ABBY: I cannot stand her.

GOLDEN FREDDY: Me too.

ABBY: You've no idea who I'm talking about.

GOLDEN FREDDY: Solidarity, sister.

•••

ABBY: Let's do something scary!

MIKE: We could go to bed early and be alone with our thoughts.

•••

VANESSA: What could be giving you anxiety?

MIKE: Um, let's see...Every aspect of my life

•••

MIKE: You think that disapproving glare works on me after after all the times I've seen it?

•••

ABBY: Please? For me?

MIKE: Don't do that. You think every time you say "Please? For me?" I'll do whatever you want, well, not this time.

ABBY: Please? For me?

MIKE: Okay.

•••

WILLIAM: Tell me what I want to know and I'll burn your house to the ground.

MIKE: Um, don’t you mean 'or'?

WILLIAM: Fine. Tell me what I want to know OR I'll burn your house to the ground.

ABBY: Well, which is it? That seems like a pretty crucial conjunction.

•••

MIKE: Wait a minute! We don't go TOWARDS the scary sound!

ABBY: Yeah, we do. We always do.

MIKE: I really hate that about us

•••

WILLIAM: I got bitten on my walk today by a Doberman

VANESSA: Oh no! Imagine if that had been a small child

WILLIAM: I'm pretty sure I could fight off a small child...

•••

MIKE: Quick question; how does someone relax? I'd like to try it

MIKE:

MIKE: I still need answers, aha

VANESSA: You okay there, buddy?

MIKE: Nope

•••

MIKE: Hey, can you keep a secret?

VANESSA: Do you know anything about my life?

MIKE: Good point.

•••

MIKE: Did you know that cutting out caffeine from your diet can help eliminate over 60%...of your will to live?

•••

MIKE, dumping out a shopping bag full of Lunchables onto the table: Tonight, Abby, we feast.

•••

MIKE: Help! I'm drowning!

VANESSA: Calm down. We're only in five feet of water!

MIKE: NOT ALL OF US ARE TALL!

•••

MIKE: With great power comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.

•••

WILLIAM: I feel like the young are out to get me.

•••

MIKE: If you don't pay my bills, I don't want your two cents.

•••

VANESSA: Do you cook?

MIKE: Yeah, I made a cake once.

ABBY: Yeah, it was good!

MIKE: Really?

ABBY: Don't make me lie twice, Mike

•••

ABBY: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

GOLDEN FREDDY: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

ABBY: Yes.

GOLDEN FREDDY: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

•••

ABBY: Remember that time you dared me to lick that swing set?

MIKE: No. You said, "Wouldn't it be funny if I licked the swing?"

And I said, "Abby, don't lick the swing set." Then you replied, "Don't tell me what to do." And you licked the swing set.

•••

MIKE: This could work. All we need now is a bad cop.

VANESSA: I can do bad cop.

MIKE: I've only seen you do mildly irritated cop.

•••

ABBY: Did you lose your job because of me?

MIKE: Nah. The manager's a vampire and he wanted me to join his legion of the undead.

ABBY, under her breath: I knew it

•••

ABBY: In my defense, I was left unsupervised

VANESSA: Wasn’t Mike with you?

MIKE: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised

•••

[At Mike’s funeral]

WILLIAM, as Steve Raglan: *places his hand on Mike’s casket and sobs* How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.

•••

VANESSA: You fainted. Do you remember anything?

MIKE: Only the ambulance ride

VANESSA: There wasn’t an ambulance. I drove you

MIKE: But I heard a siren?

VANESSA: That was Abby

ABBY: Sorry, I got scared

•••

VANESSA: Hey, guys, what are you watching?

ABBY: Kitten football. It came on and I’m invested. I think Mike’s getting into it too—Aww look. Snuggles fell asleep!

MIKE: SNUGGLES WAKE UP AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME!

VANESSA:

ABBY: I think we’re invested in the game for different reasons

•••

ABBY: A party is a celebration of a life, bringing people together to let the guest of honor know how much they're loved. Mike has done so much for us. This is our chance to do something for him.

VANESSA: By forcing him to have fun at a party that he doesn't want to be at?

ABBY: I knew you’d understand

•••

VANESSA: When we go out, I expect you to be on your best behavior

MIKE: That’s right. Listen to her, Abby

VANESSA: Mike, I was talking to you

•••• 

VANESSA: Where can I find this, “friend zone”? Because I need friends.

•••

ABBY: Do you guys have any healthy stress outlets?

MIKE: Screaming

WILLIAM: Murder

VANESSA: Manipulation

ABBY: Okay, screaming it is

•••

VANESSA: How are you feeling these days?

MIKE: Oh, much better now that I’m back in denial

•••

Movie!MIKE: Thirteen year old me would be both horrified and in awe of me

Game!MIKE: I'd punch thirteen year old me

[eurydicees]

44 for the taylor prompts?

this ask is a YEAR old, it is TWO THIRTY AM, and i FINALLY got an idea that i couldn't get out of my head for it. here are my humble offerings.

the kind of best man who leaves the wedding first

summary: tamaki and haruhi are getting married. kaoru watches over the remnants of something else that used to be. prompt: the ties were black, the lies were white pairings: tamaki suoh/haruhi fujioka, tamaki suoh/kyoya ootori words: 2103  warnings: none 

Kaoru hums, running his pen in long, curving, meandering lines across a blank piece of paper. Kyoya is talking to him, or, really, he’s talking at him. Kaoru is very much not listening. 

Kyoya has been talking about the same thing for the past two hours—which is two hours worth of talking more than Kaoru really came here to listen to, and two hours more than he had ever expected to come from Kyoya without a breath to pause—and Kaoru would expect to be annoyed, but he’s mostly just tuned him out by now.

The thing is that he can’t really bring himself to be annoyed. Kyoya is just anxious, same as everyone Kaoru spends his time with seems to be these days. To be fair, it’s not like Kaoru himself isn’t also anxious. It’s more that his coping mechanisms for anxiety involve less throwing himself into obsessive planning and organizing and fretting over every detail of every plan, and more taking calming breaths. He’s been in a lot of therapy recently. Him and Hikaru both. He thinks maybe he should recommend someone to Kyoya. 

“—and he asked me to be his best man,” Kyoya says. Ah. Finally. The point. Kyoya’s voice turns low, quiet. “I don’t—just—” 

“You can’t have expected it to be anyone else,” Kaoru points out. He lifts his chin from the palm of his hand to look at Kyoya. “You’re not stupid.” 

Kyoya sighs, pressing his face into his hands; elbows on the table and hunched over. His voice is muffled when he says, “I expected it. That doesn’t mean I’m ready for it.” 

“You’ll be fine,” Kaoru says, rolling his eyes. “You spent three years of high school planning parties on his behalf. You can throw one more.” 

“Fuck, I have to plan the bachelor’s party?” 

Kaoru frowns at him. “Is that not what you were worried about?” 

Kyoya sighs, dropping his hands onto the table and leaning back in his chair. “I was mostly thinking about how terrible Haruhi is at party planning. And how Tamaki will literally do anything to make her dream wedding happen. Even if it’s ridiculous.”

“It’s gonna be terrible,” Kaoru snickers. Which is a little mean, but also. He’s not wrong. 

“Supportive,” Kyoya says, rolling his eyes. “And I—forget it.” 

Kaoru straightens up, setting the pen down and turning to study Kyoya more closely. “What?” 

He and Kyoya have gotten much closer over the years, especially in Kyoya’s third year, when he started training Kaoru to take over his job in the Host Club, and he’s gotten good at reading Kyoya. But this expression is different—he looks contemplative, closed off, unsure, and hidden, all in a way that he hasn’t looked in years. 

Kyoya has gotten so much better at the whole friendship and vulnerability thing as time went on—something Kaoru knows can mostly be attributed to Tamaki—but there are still moments when he shuts down. When he reverts back into a shadow more than a star. Those kinds of moments—this kind of moment—only really comes when he’s scared. 

“Kyoya—”

“It changes people,” Kyoya says, steadily not looking at Kaoru. He reaches out to pick up the pen Kaoru had been doodling with, and he clicks it open and closed again and again and again. “Marriage, I mean. I saw it with my sister. With Honey. With Mori. It just…it changes people. And relationships. Friendships. They change.” 

Kaoru hums. “I suppose.” 

“There are just—fuck. I don’t know.” Kyoya stares at the pen, something distant in his gaze. “There were so many times when I thought—” 

He cuts himself off again, and Kaoru waits. The way to get Kyoya talking is never to ask him a question. Kyoya blinks twice, and Kaoru stiffens. He’s not sure he knows what to do if Kyoya cries. He had prepared for a lot of things when Kyoya called him that morning, telling him to come over immediately and offering no other explanation, but Kyoya crying at his kitchen table is not one of them. 

Kyoya takes a shaky breath and clears his throat. “I don’t know. It’s nothing.” 

“It’s clearly not nothing, Kyoya. C’mon. It’s just me.” 

Kyoya closes his eyes, tipping his head back to angle his face at the ceiling. Kaoru watches, somewhat helplessly, as Kyoya confesses, “There were so many times when I figured I was going to lose him, and it never truly happened. But now…I think this might really be it.” 

“Kyoya…” 

Kyoya swallows, looking down and shaking his head a little. “It’s fine. I knew it was going to happen eventually.” 

Kaoru is quiet. He watches the now twenty-two year old Kyoya as he starts clicking the pen open and closed again, and he sees Kyoya as he used to be. 

Seventeen, in Music Room 3, with Tamaki hooking his chin over Kyoya’s shoulder to look at his laptop screen while they talk about the budget. Haruhi, calling out Tamaki’s name in the distance, asking for a ride home because of the thunderstorm. 

Sixteen, the two of them in that same spot, waltzing without music, Tamaki’s hands on Kyoya so tightly it must hurt; the most honest smile that Kaoru has ever seen on him; a moment that no one else was supposed to see. 

Fifteen, trailing after Tamaki as Tamaki called the twins each by their name. His hands in his pockets, a book under the hook of his arm. Calling out, “Stop bothering them. Let’s go home, Tamaki.” 

And Tamaki—

It dawns on Kaoru, then. “You love him.” 

Kyoya clicks the top of the pen so harshly that it gets stuck. He drops the pen on the table. Now, there’s something angry about his expression more than there is anything sad. Like he can’t even be heartbroken because he’s too caught up in being mad at himself for having the feeling in the first place. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell,” Kaoru says softly. “You can talk to me about it.” 

At that, Kyoya outright laughs. It’s bitter, and tired. “It’s not a secret, Kaoru. He knows. He’s well aware.” 

Kaoru frowns. “Did you tell him?” 

Abruptly, Kyoya stands up, the chair legs scraping back with an awful noise. Kyoya runs a hand through his hand, starting to pace around. He looks like he wants to talk, wants to scream something at the top of his lungs, maybe, but doesn’t have the words to explain what he’s feeling. 

He makes a frustrated noise and drops his hands to his sides. His back is to Kaoru and his face is to the wall when he finally speaks again. 

“We were together,” he says quietly. “Through most of high school.” 

Kaoru’s heart lurches into his stomach. “Oh.”

Kyoya shrugs, the movement stiff. “We both knew it couldn’t last. Our families—and then Haruhi—and we wanted at least one of us to get a happy ending.” 

“Oh,” Kaoru says again. His tongue is too big for his mouth, his teeth too sharp. He feels like he needs to say something else, but what else is there to say? He doesn’t have the words for this either. “Oh.” 

“It’s fine.” Kyoya takes a deep breath, one that echoes around the room. “It’s fine.” 

“Is it?” 

Kyoya turns around. His face is cold, impassive again. “It is. Don’t—we don’t need to talk about this again.” 

“Okay,” Kaoru says quietly. 

He looks down at where the pen has rolled onto the scraps of paper Kyoya had been sitting in front of. When Kaoru had come into the kitchen, all of the paper had already been there, but he hadn’t actually looked at any of it before starting to doodle over one. 

Now, he pulls a piece of the lined notebook paper towards himself to take a closer look. 

“Is this your best man's speech?” Kaoru asks. 

Kyoya sighs. “It’s terrible.” 

Kaoru reads another few lines. “It could use some editing.” 

“I was trying to be funny.” 

“Yeah, but you’re not funny.” 

“Thanks.” 

Kaoru snorts. “This line’s funny.” 

Kyoya steps over, leaning over Kaoru’s shoulder to see the line he’s pointing out with his finger. “That one was supposed to be sincere.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Kaoru says, sighing. “We’ve got a few months, let’s work on this.” 

He and Kyoya spend the next few months working on the speech, amongst other things. By the end of it, Kaoru has memorized it himself, and he could probably give the speech in Kyoya’s stead if Kyoya were to bail at the last minute. But for all that Kaoru can tell Kyoya is hurting over this, he knows Kyoya isn’t going to bail. Kyoya may be hurting, but he’s much too loyal to Tamaki to disappear when Tamaki needs him—the last time Tamaki will need him like this. 

The thing is—Kyoya claims to have always known that he and Tamaki wouldn’t have lasted. But Kaoru is sure that doesn’t make it any easier to handle watching the love of your life get married to someone else. It doesn’t make it any easier to deal with watching your best friend walk into someone else’s care. 

It’s not like Tamaki is helping make it any easier, either. 

He’s as oblivious as ever. With each passing day of wedding planning that Tamaki painfully ropes Kyoya into in an attempt to make it perfect, it’s clear that Tamaki has no idea that Kyoya is still in love with him. 

Tamaki asks him for advice on suits and Kyoya’s eyes linger too long and Tamaki just basks in the attention. He makes Kyoya help out with music choices, despite everyone knowing Tamaki is the one with good music taste. Kyoya is with them at almost every planning meeting, and some of it can be reasoned down to not letting the two of them make the decisions, but it also looks like it’s killing Kyoya every time he comes back to report to Kaoru. 

“The colors are going to be a kind of blue sea foam and pale pink,” Kyoya says tiredly. “Haruhi wanted green and purple. Tamaki wanted aqua and lavender.” 

It’s everything I can never have with anyone, his eyes say. It’s everything I wanted with him. 

“Thank fuck you were there,” Kaoru says. 

I’m so sorry, his own expression says. 

Now that Kaoru knows that the two of them were together, he sees it everywhere. He makes a photo album for Tamaki and Haruhi, and it’s in every photo he can find from high school. He helps Honey with a video reel, and it’s in the way the two of them gravitate towards each other at every opportunity. He writes his own speech, and it’s in every memory he has of the two of them in the same place at the same time. 

The day of the wedding comes, and it’s beautiful, and they all give their speeches, and they exchange memories and photos and gifts. Both Tamaki and Haruhi are breathtaking in their suits. Ranka cries. Kaoru cries. Hikaru does too, but he won’t ever admit it, despite the many eyewitnesses. 

It’s after the ceremony, when they’re all celebrating at the reception, that Kaoru spots Tamaki going over to Kyoya. Kyoya is nursing a glass of champagne at a table by himself, and Tamaki seems to be trying to convince him to dance. 

Tamaki is looking at him pleadingly in that annoyingly convincing way he does and from where Kaoru is standing with Honey and Reiko on the dance floor, it looks like Kyoya is about to give in, in the same way that he always does. Then, before Kyoya can nod and stand and take just one dance with Tamaki, Haruhi comes up to them and wraps a hand around Tamaki’s waist. 

It’s not possessive and there’s certainly no malice, because that’s not the kind of person Haruhi is, but the shift in Kyoya’s body language is easy to read even from a distance. Haruhi says something that Kaoru can’t hear, and then she’s stepping back, Tamaki’s hand in hers. 

Tamaki smiles at Kyoya, a little sad, and kisses his cheek. It’s a gentle, lingering motion. It must burn. Then he turns and follows Haruhi to go dance as a married couple. 

Kaoru is pretty sure he’s the only one watching Kyoya, so he’s the only one who gets to see Kyoya put the tips of his fingers to his cheek. Who gets to see him take a deep breath, and then drop his hand. 

And then he’s the only one who notices when Kyoya stands, gathers his suit jacket, places a single envelope on the table, and leaves the wedding early.

[notoneopinion]

10 Ways I Soothe Anxiety

Hello. I have anxiety.

I have anxiety, but I have also managed to somehow keep a pretty good life for myself through it all. Getting out of bed when you have a paralysing fear of the world is not an easy task, but there are a few things I have found that make it that little bit easier, life that little bit smoother. And because we certainly don't gatekeep here, I thought I'd share the ten main ways I soothe anxiety. Basically, ten things I do to switch off and remove myself from my brain.

1. Turn your phone off.

An obvious one, but probably one of the most important. It's insane how clogged a person's brain will get when they spend their day glued to a phone screen. For me, it's not even just social media that sets me off, though that is a massive trigger for me and many other people; it's the phone in general. I could be playing Angry Birds for twenty-four hours and still finish the day feeling gross and anxious and guilty. The screen itself just makes me feel groggy, which in turn leaves me feeling anxious by the time I'm getting into bed that night. There are some days I will wake up, and just turn my phone off completely - usually days when I know I'm going to be at home all day, but still. That extended break from screen time is a life saver.

2. Fidget toys.

Okay, so I may also have autism.

But!!!! Fidget toys are miracle workers for all kinds of mental illnesses and uncomfortable feelings, so don't think you can't invest in some just because you're not on the spectrum. Fidget toys are literally made to soothe anxiety, so get yourself some!! I have one called a Tangle that I keep on me at all times, and I just mess with it in my pocket when I'm in a social situation and I don't know what to do with my hands, or I start feeling a little overwhelmed. It brings my fight or flight right down. I don't know the science behind it, but I honestly don't even care. Give me fidget toys, or give me death.

3. Model making, eg Legos, 3D puzzles.

Legos and 3D puzzles are another thing that has changed the game for me when it comes to anxiety. Like fidget toys, they are the perfect way to keep your hands busy, but they have the added bonus of keeping your mind busy, too. These are, of course, more of a relaxation technique, something you come home to after a stressful day rather than something to eliminate anxiety on the spot, but we'll take what we can get. These also keep you relaxed and distracted for hours, because there is hours worth of work to be put into them. Plus, they're very addictive - once you start on a Lego set, or a puzzle, you don't want to stop until it's finished. I've sat for eleven hours straight doing a Lego set just because I wanted to see the finished product as soon as possible, and during those eleven hours, my anxiety was non-existent. I was just enjoying myself the entire time.

4. Have a nap.

Very self explanatory, and yet controversial???

But genuinely, just go to sleep??? If you're having a gruesome day, and your mind is bullying you, and you're exhausted, just lay down and go to sleep. Fuck what other people say. There is nothing wrong with clocking out from the horrors of the real world for a few hours. As long as you get back up, all refreshed and ready to tackle another day, who cares??

5. Talk to a loved one.

I am very blessed that I can put this on the list. I know this can be a very difficult coping mechanism for a lot of people - trust me, I know. Growing up, my anxiety was my own, and not once did it ever occur to me to share that problem with anyone else. However, after meeting the right people, and understanding that nobody is going to be annoyed about hearing my problems, talking to people became one of the best and most useful coping mechanisms I've got. It can be as simple as sending your best friend a text telling them how you're feeling, or you can go all out and sit your Mum down with a cup of tea and bawl your eyes out. Getting those feelings out will give you a physical relief as well as a mental relief; the weight you've been carrying, a weight you probably don't even notice any more, will be gone in a matter of minutes. I promise you.

6. Exercise.

I know. I was shocked too. All those scientists that told us exercise and moving your body is good for your mental health were right. Bastards.

Just go on a walk. That's what I mean when I say 'exercise.' If you want to go to the gym and lift weights, or run a marathon, you go right ahead. More power to you. But by 'exercise' I just mean. . . move your body. Take the dog on a walk! Walk to the shop instead of driving! Get a bike! The tiniest bit of movement in a day can do wonders, whether we want to admit it or not.

7. Blast happy, sing-in-the-car music.

There's a playlist of Spotify that I highly recommend when it comes to wanting to escape reality and just have a good time. It's literally called Songs to Sing in the Car, and it's one of those playlists Spotify make themselves, just full of songs that you can sing at the top of your lungs, or blast through your headphones, and just have a real good time for a little while. I know it's easy sometimes to just go straight to that playlist full of sad songs that you can relate to in that moment, but try and go for a different approach - go find old bangers that you used to jump around to as a kid. It's a breath of fresh air.

8. Do chores.

Two in one baby!

A good chunk of the time, our anxiety is stemming from our to-do list, even if we're not thinking about it. All around us is evidence of all the unfinished tasks we've got to do, and that can really stress you out. Personally, whenever I'm anxious, I become almost camotose; I will just sit on the sofa and stare at the wall, feeling everything all at once. However, I've found that using this time to do little tasks around the house actually makes me feel better. I'm not saying I go and do a full massive clean; I might push myself just a bit to wash one or two dishes, or the whole sink if I can manage it. I'll hoover the living room floor. I'll go upstairs and put my clothes away. Just tiny jobs, only as much as I can push myself to do. A lot of the time, one job turns into two, and then two turns to three, and soon my house is spotless, and you know what they say - clean space, clear mind!

9. Take up knitting/ crocheting.

This one is pretty self-explanatory. I only discovered this as a coping mechanism when I was suffering from really bad insomnia and I couldn't sleep; I somehow found myself watching YouTube tutorials on knitting, and I was overcome with this intense urge to learn. It was literally one in the morning, and I drove to my Mum's house (dragged my fiance out of bed to come with me, too, sorry babe <3) and grabbed knitting needles and some yarn. I was up knitting for about an hour, and I felt so relaxed that I actually managed to go to sleep! For the first time in days! So not only can you make really cute clothes and nick-nacks and learn a new skill, you're also relaxing that anxious brain of yours for a little bit.

10. Have a good cry.

Yeah. Just this.

[deadmomjokes]

Do you have any adventures of bean to share before you sign off for a bit? good luck with the move!

I wish I had more specific ones, but life is all blurring together at this point so I must settle for Tidbits: Moving Edition

She loves to pack stuff. I have no idea where it's coming from, but holy cow this kid. She's going to be the only reason we're completely packed and ready to go on time. Every morning, she hops in my bed and goes "Can we pack another box?" And any time we're not actively doing something, "Should we pack more boxes?" Her dad whispered to me earlier, understandably dumbfounded, "What is with the packing thing? Why is she so into this?" And she somehow heard it from the next room and merrily hopped in holding the roll of packing tape and said "I dunno, I just really like packing things." So... yeah. She's keeping us on task.

She has Plans for the drive. -First, we need to eat at Subway (she was very excited to learn she can, in fact, have Subway in moderation). -Second, we need to stay at one of the number hotels-- those being National 9, Super 8, and Motel 6. (She is bummed there's no 7 hotel.) -Third, if we successfully get a number hotel for one night, we also need to do a Red Roof Inn some other night. -Fourth, she wants to go inside a gas station and look at the maps. (She means the visitors guides and brochures that truck stops have when they're near-ish to state lines and/or tourist destinations.) -Finally, she wants to borrow my phone to take pictures. Unbeknownst to her, we are getting an old digital camera tuned up and outfitted with a child-proof case so she can have her own camera, because when she starts taking pictures it's an hours-long affair, and I kinda need my phone for GPS purposes. We're presenting her with said camera next weekend when we get the trailer, so hopefully she'll stay occupied while we do the part of packing she can't actually help with. But yeah, she knows how to set realistic, attainable goals, and I honestly think we can make these things happen for her.

She's been obsessively watching that Bluey special every day, and it Concerns me. See, she's generally quite media literate, and knows how to separate fiction from reality, and we had our big group cry about leaving our friends the first time we watched it. But. I am deeply worried that she's under the impression that we'll get all packed and ready to go and then do what Bluey's family did and decide to stay. I desperately hope not, but hoo boy, if that is the case, that's gonna be one heck of a 4-day drive. We've tried bringing it up and talking about it, but we still can't tell what's going on in that little noggin.

She is really, really sad about leaving her friends. I know that's not fun to hear, but honestly, I'm really impressed and proud of the way she's been handling it. She's come up with some great coping mechanisms all on her own: asking if we can get everyone's parents' Facebooks so we can do video calls, asking if we can do a party before she leaves so she can play with her school friends again (both yes, of course), and the one that truly floored me-- she asked if we can find "a new therapy place" when we get to where we're going. My four year old asked if she can go back to therapy, y'all. She's been 'graduated' since before Christmas, but she remembered that it helped when she was feeling anxious all the time and wants to do that again after we move. I just... Holy moly! I am so, SO proud of her for how she's so in tune with herself and her needs.

Her requests for our next housing situation have been few, but very specific. It has to let her get a pet, either a rabbit (maybe two so they can be friends), or a ball python, or both. It needs stairs so she can bumslide down them. It needs a pantry with a shelf she can reach for her snacks. And she'd really prefer if it had hard floors so we can get a fuzzy rug. We don't have it on lock yet (fingers crossed!), but the place that looks most likely meets all of these criteria.

That's all I've got for right now, because I need to go pre-plan what tomorrow morning's packing adventure is going to be so I don't have to think about it two minutes after opening my eyes.

[hxzxrdous]

The School for Good and Evil

Platonic Lady Lesso x Never!reader

TW: Anxiety attack, skin picking, OCD

Note: This one is for me, because I suffer from anxiety and a skin picking disorder. Also stream Hold My Hand by Lady Gaga, tee hee !! </33

HOLD MY HAND

You woke up drenched in sweat, the lingering scent of copper from your nightmares permeating the air around your bed. The aged wooden frame creaked as you sat up, your feet hovering above the cold stone floor. Casting a gaze around the dormitory, a realization struck you like a lightning bolt - you had unknowingly slept over your first-class History of Villainy. The mere thought of entering the classroom with all eyes fixed upon you filled you with overwhelming anxiety. The prospect was too dreadful, too mortifying.

Frustration etched across your face, and in a moment of despair, you began absentmindedly picking at your skin, as if trying to alleviate the tension. With a heavy sigh, you realized the state of disarray you had left your hair in. There was no way you could attend class in such a disheveled state. Not like that. You knew that the dean's Doom Room was awaiting for you which made you anxious even more. The possibilities of what she would do to you for skipping class.

Retreating to the bed, you pulled your legs back up and crossed them, continuing to mindlessly pick at your skin. Suddenly, a knock interrupted the silence, causing your head to snap toward the door.

"Y/L/N," Lady Lesso's voice echoed sternly. A lump formed in your throat as you tried to muster a response, but nothing came out. Lowering your gaze, you averted your eyes to the ground, ignoring her calling for you. Growing impatient with your silence, Lady Lesso forcefully swung open the door with her cane, the clicking of her heels drawing nearer and nearer, still unable to meet her piercing stare. That was it. You were convinced you were about to get killed.

"M-ma'am, I-," you whispered, your voice barely audible, while nervously scratching your scalp.

"Speak," the redhead commanded, her arms folded on her hips, her cane firmly in hand. "You got something to say, say it." She spat out.

"I... I can't stop picking at my skin," you replied softly, frustration evident as you ran your fingers through your hair.

Concern flickered across the dean's face as she noticed the wounds on your scalp. "Y/L/N, why do you engage in this behavior? Is there a particular reason behind it?" Her head tilted slightly as she studied you intently.

"I dunno- I get a feeling like I have to smooth out my skin by picking it- C-can't stop," you confessed, your quiet voice barely heard.

"What do you mean by 'a feeling'? Is it akin to an itch or a compulsive urge?" Lady Lesso inquired, her gaze unwavering. "As if you simply have to do it regardless of the consequences?"

"Yes... like a compulsion," you murmured, scratching your scalp in frustration. "Please... I need help."

"I will do my best to help you, but you must also be willing to put in effort, Y/N," the dean stated firmly, crossing her arms. "Now, do you believe you can resist the urge to pick your skin, or is it more of a coping mechanism, a way for you to regain a sense of control?"

You shrugged your shoulders, contemplating the question. "The second one," you replied. "It somehow calms me down, even though I always regret it afterwards." You gestured toward your messy scalp. "It's not about the pain, but like self-soothing, I guess," you tried explaining.

"Alright, I am here to help you," Lady Lesso's voice softened as she moved closer, kneeling in front of you. "Can I hold your hands?"

Sniffling, you glanced at the dean, a hint of confusion in your eyes. However, you extended your hands towards her, allowing her to take hold of them.

"I... I want to do it again so badly..." you cried out, tears welling in your eyes.

"Please don't. It will only cause you harm, and I don't want to see you hurt," the dean implored firmly, holding your hands tightly in hers. "Just take a deep breath and focus on your breath. Can you feel the warmth of my hand? Is it helping you stay calm?"

"I... I guess," you nodded, trying to focus on the sensation of the dean's hands. Your trembling persisted as you fought against the urge to retract your hands and resume your destructive habit.

"Breathe. You're okay," Lady Lesso reassured you, gently stroking your hands with her thumbs, doing what she could do to get you to relax and prevent any further picking. "You are safe here, Y/N. I won't allow anyone to harm you. I promise, you're safe."

"I just... I want to smooth it out," you whimpered, shaking your head in frustration, still holding onto the woman's hands tightly.

"It's alright. We'll work through this together," Lady Lesso spoke softly, her voice brimming with empathy. "I want to help you overcome this, and you're a strong person, I know you can do it. If you start to panic, just remember you are safe here and no one can hurt you, okay?" She continued to gently stroke your hands.

"'S hard... So hard... Wanna do it-" you started trembling even more, Lady Lesso's grip on your hands tightened.

"No, you musn't." the dean's voice grew stern as she held your hands with one hand and lifted your chin with the other. "Look at me, Y/N. Look into my eyes." You locked eyes with Lady Lesso, her unwavering gaze filled with determination and belief. "You are stronger than this, you are beautiful. I know you're trying SO hard not to do it, but you are stronger than you know. I believe in you."

"I... I can't breathe," you mumbled, your words strained as your breathing became rapid and shallow. Your cheeks flushed with heat, visibly turning red, as your breathing quickened.

"Slow down, you're breathing too quickly," Lady Lesso gently picked you up and settled you on her lap, her voice a blend of firmness and tenderness, laced with concern and reassurance. "Take slow, deep breaths. Can you do that for me?" You nodded, attempting to mimic the woman's breathing pattern. "Nice and slow, Y/N. Inhale... and exhale."

"I... I'm trying, ma'am," you managed to utter between breaths, your palms becoming increasingly clammy to the touch.

"Keep trying, I've got you, little one," Lady Lesso cooed, cradling you in her arms as if you were a small child, offering comfort despite your teenage years. "Your breathing is improving. Keep it up for me, just a little longer," she soothed, gently stroking your hair. "You're going to be alright, Y/N. Remember, you are safe here."

"I'm... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to," you attempted to pull away, but Lady Lesso held you closer, refusing to let you go.

"Y/N, there's no need to apologize. You haven't done anything wrong," she whispered, continuing to rock you back and forth. "I'm not angry with you, I promise. Not at all." Her voice radiated understanding and love, ensuring that you knew you were safe and accepted. The warmth from her touch spread through your body as she tenderly stroked your hair.

"I'm... I'm so tired," you murmured, your body growing limp as you nestled into the dean's embrace, your eyes fluttering shut.

The redhead sighed softly, continuing to sway you gently. "Rest now, my dear," Lady Lesso spoke softly. "You've done well. I'm proud of you." She placed a gentle kiss on the top of your head. "We'll talk more when you've had a chance to relax, alright?"