#i don’t even really use aroace as an identifier

[altschmerzes]

hey aro gang? can we collectively make more of an effort to like. advocate for ourselves and our communities and specific identities in ways that aren’t just. actively and openly hostile to other aros or implying or outright stating that they’re harming us or that they have societal and community support they don’t have? like i get it - im non-sam aro, and i relate heavily to a lot of aroallo experiences and it’s really frustrating and hurtful to feel overlooked or erased or anything else, but like. aroaces are not doing anything wrong by talking about their experiences or relating to posts or posting in the aro tag or anything else and it’s getting to a point where im personally getting really uncomfortable seeing people verging on or outright stating that this is the case or that aroaces are some kind of oppressive community force or responsible for the bad experiences of non-ace aros. can we all just cool it a bit please. it’s frustrating and hurtful to feel like you’re being mistreated specifically for not being someone else but that is not that other person’s fault or their identity group’s fault, nor is it always necessarily true. none of us are doing great out here and society at large does not want aroaces to exist or be talked about any more than any of the rest of us i promise.

[merely-a-caricature]

Ace rings and Aro rings. What are they?

An ace ring is a black ring, usually worn on the middle finger of the right hand, that indicates you are on the asexual spectrum. An aro ring is the basically the same thing just white and worn on your left hand on the middle finger. Placement is important since other communities us rings to identify themselves. Many people on the spectrum don’t know about the rings, so it is often times a more personal symbol. Even if you never meet another ace or someone who knows about the rings, I still think it’s a nice step of personal acceptance and way to display yourself! It’s just a really neat way to embrace your ace-ness and/or aro-ness!

Some people go with plain black and plain white., but others like their rings with a little bit more to them. Some people might go out even further and get rings that are dragon-like. The meaning of this is explained in this post of mine. There are even rings out there with the ace of spades (and other suits) which the meaning of that is explained in one of my previous posts. There are also cool rings out there that are less subtle that have the aro flag colors, ace flag, colors, and the sunset aroace flag. Overall, just the normal ace ring, a black ring with embellishments, and any other ace symbols are used by people! People have all sorts of different rings that fit within the aro/ace ring vibe.

Feel free to reblog and get this info out there! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

[bloggingboutburgers]

So I’m thinking of asking my other aro ace friend out, but I don’t know how or if that would change our relationship at all. From one aroace to another, what’s the point in having labels on a relationship?

hugfjkgd I'm probably not the best person to answer that at first glance either since I reacted to my partner's suggestion to be queer platonic partners with basically "So... As we are as usual then?" 🙈

But ah... I've definitely found benefits to it, personally, for one thing because it made us all the more comfortable to unapologetically vibe as we are, and also... You know how society is kinda obsessed with putting people in pairs and stuff, no matter what? This... Helps with that too, even if not everybody understands it. I've felt people have left me alone more on that front.

Though ultimately, I guess the answer on labels is always the same: they can be very self-affirming but they're not necessary and you don't have to force them onto yourself if you don't feel they'd benefit your own self-affirmation! (I say that as an aroace who typically, for instance, doesn't identify under any microlabels because they weren't defined yet when I was figuring myself out, and as incredibly useful as they are, I don't feel the need to dive into them much myself.) It's up to anyone really!

[byoldervine]

If you're aroace, do you still write romance? If so, do you do it differently than allos do?

Tbh it’s made me very cautious of writing men and women because no matter what straight allos seem to think they’re flirting and would make a super cute couple. Back in my fic days that was often how I decided to have my characters date; I’d get loads of comments saying they couldn’t wait to see how X ship pans out when in reality it was just two friends having banter. And romance always seemed to be like a requirement in every story; if you don’t include at least a subplot where the main characters get together, what’s the point in creating them? Even if that mindset isn’t true

But just to show how my sexuality did indeed influence my writing - as well as my writing actually influencing my sexuality - I’ll give you guys an example:

I’ve mentioned it before but there was one character called Indigo who I wrote in an atrociously-written HTTYD fic on Wattpad back when I was like thirteen - all the comments were saying she was totally in love with another character, Plasma, and how they couldn’t wait to see her accept these feelings she has for him

Reminder; I had no intention of having them be in a relationship

But I decided to lean into it and explore why people perceived it this way, then used another character to be raising all the points. I did admit that, looking back as an older and more experienced writer, I did once or twice say things that implied more than intended because I didn’t fully understand the innuendo of them back then, but there was even some newer stuff that I just couldn’t figure out

So I tested my theories; I had the characters banter more, being very careful in that first chapter to keep it purely platonic, and people were going crazy about the flirting. So I figured if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em; I leaned into it, explored the idea of Indigo having feelings for Plasma. Let her get conflicted on it, let her vent that she had no idea what this kind of love feels like, just generally used it as an excuse to vent my own feelings on romantic love in general. I identified as bisexual at the time, but was starting to question things, so I just poured it out onto Indigo because it did work for her character and her general attitude to relationships of any form

Half the comments were about how they were worried about the ship and how Indigo had to realise her feelings soon - but the other half was people predicting that Indigo was aroace. I challenged my readers more directly to guess Indigo’s sexuality and asexual or aroace was the biggest guess. And so I leaned into it again and brought Indigo into what’s all but labelled as a QPR with Plasma, just to see how it goes, and in the meantime I was looking into asexuality. I think you can figure out how the latter went

But I guess what I learned from all of this when it comes to writing romance is that, at least for myself, it’s surprisingly easy to get people shipping them; have a guy and a girl banter. I’ll have to test in future if this works for visibly queer couples, but in general my go-to for flirting is just casual banter and so far it’s done the trick with my other old fics. I’m not flirting, I’m just sarcastic and British

What really scares me is writing sibling dynamics and other familial relationships because if I can make things flirty without even trying then how will this be perceived?

[our-aroace-experience]

I’m aroallo (aromantic bisexual, to be specific), which, strictly speaking, is using the split attraction model, but weirdly, I don’t really consider my attraction to be “split” in any way. When I was questioning being aro, I felt quite unsure about my aromanticism because I was so sure of my bisexuality. I felt worried that identifying as aro would alienate me from the bi community, and disconnected from the idea that attraction could be neatly and clearly divided into categories such as “romantic” and “sexual” — I personally felt that the distinction was much more nebulous and was reluctant to label myself in such a way that implied I could easily fit my own feelings into those categories.

Looking back, I definitely did a lot of overthinking! But what made me finally feel comfortable accepting that I was aro was, (perhaps surprisingly since I’m not aroace), the aroace flag! I remember reading somewhere that the use of orange and blue on the flag, rather than purple and green, represented that some people viewed their aroace-ness as a singular, unified identity, rather than two separate ones. It kind of clicked with me then that I felt the same way about my own identity. Obviously “aromantic” and “bisexual” have quite different meanings, but they both accurately describe the same part of myself, rather than being two different ones. It’s part of why I like the aroallo flag so much (other than its fantastic colours), because it unifies my identity in a similar way, and that was really important to me when I first started using the label.

To be honest, I’ve gotten over these feelings a bit. I had a few misconceptions about the SAM when I was questioning (as is probably apparent) and I don’t have a visceral “no!” reaction anymore when considering that it applies to me. As I settled into my identity again, I realised that, to be honest, I had gotten overly worked up about this. During the tumultuous experience of questioning, the intricacies of identity and my own personal hang ups felt like a very big deal, but now it all seems pretty inconsequential. It’s nice to regain that confidence in myself. But, food for thought, I guess. I still don’t consider my romantic and sexual orientations to be any different from each other even though that might seem contradictory to some. Aro identity isn’t always as clear-cut as it’s made out to be!

(This ended up being way longer than I meant for it to be! Oops.)

thank you for sharing, i’m so happy to hear you’ve found confidence in your identity. the only person it has to make sense to is you, that’s always the most important, and it seems like you’ve gotten there!

[stardustdiiving]

I love hearing about queer headcanons so I'll probably end up asking about all of them, but how about starting with Sumeru?

(ask in reference to this post)

YES I can do a few sumeru characters to start (heres Wanderer, Cynonari, Collei, and Nahida)

(there’s accidently aroace headcanons in 3/4 of them OOOPS)

Wanderer: talked about his gender (trans guy) here, sexuality wise I see him as gay and probably mostly t4t. I also have a vision where Wanderer has the same relationship with aro + aceness as Collei but in sort of opposite directions. So my idea is Wanderer feels a lot of alienation & detachment regarding romance & sex & shares a lot of similar experiences to aro and/or ace people, but would choose to not ID as either label because after some time he concludes his relationship with both kinds of attraction is very influenced by trauma, and it would be more healthy for him personally to work on building a positive relationship with romantic + sexual attraction since he does actually experience it. So he sits on a plane of not identifying as aro or ace but like he gets it

Collei: Collei on the other hand, in contrast to Wanderer, finds aro + ace labels really helpful for understanding herself, even if she also believes in her relationship with both kinds of attraction overlapping a lot with trauma. Because for her she genuinely just doesn’t really feel she experiences either attraction and that’s sort of a comfortable default/conclusion for her. Specifically I’d give her the demi aro and asexual labels…in my head this goes with my Tighnari & Cyno headcanons where both of them are in an aroace relationship and give her really good advice/feedback on her feelings that make her feel more able to be confident about how she feels regarding attraction. Along with that I think she’s sort of questioning sexuality labels but would refer to herself as sapphic as a shorthand explanation. Gender wise I have a few different headcanons in mind…either transfem, demigirl, or bigender/genderfluid maybe? I see her as having multiple ideas of what sort of gender presentation she wants and going between them

Tighnari + Cyno: Okay so here I need to pitch my demi-aroace Cynonari vision. I think both Cyno and Tighnari would view their own queerness in ways pretty similar to each other, and one facet of this is where they fall on the aroace spectrum. I think it aligns perfectly where they’re both like, yeah I have no interest in romance or relationships the way people usually engage with them but you’re the only one who gets the exact way I feel about it + we get along well so honestly I’m down to be in our own form of a relationship with you specifically. I don’t think they really do labels with a lot of things: both of them are trans + non binary in one way or another, and both use gay/queer as identifying terms, but don’t have a lot of specifications beyond using umbrella labels really. They’re just chilling. As established this ends up being a good fit for their dynamic with Collei bc I think it gives her a lot more confidence about navigating her own queerness seeing Cynonari just kind of hang out and do their own thing

Nahida: she’s baby and does not strike me as someone who is going to think about romance or sexuality until she’s a lot older. I think if you asked Nahida to explain her gender to you she would probably employ a lot of very confusing metaphors you do not understand, all in an attempt to articulate what I’d write as a pretty shared experience between all the Archons in how they view gender. They seem to like…view themselves as genderless but sometimes opting into gender if they feel like it—and tend to intuitively relate it to their element. Which means the most you get from Nahida’s metaphors is she’s telling you her gender is plant and you do not get it but it doesn’t seem wrong so what can you do. I also have this additional thought I think is funny about Wanderer and Nahida having very deep philosophical discussions about immortal gender at 3 in the morning. In the context of the English language at least I think we need to tell Nahida about neopronouns I think she’d be a fan. So in summary she’s kind of baby and is not giving this stuff much thought right now but also being a god in my gender impact dimension kind of inherently makes you ponder the orb (gender)

[unpopularfanopinion]

So recently I came across and anti-shipper who apparently really dislikes when anti-shipping and anti-shippers are compared to conservatives and purity culture, and wrote a rant about it. They cowardly have replies and reblogs turned off but I still wanted to respond.  I won’t tag them and don’t know if they’ll see this(but I hope they do)

<i> Antiship is not the same as being a puritan/supporting purity culture. Puritans are conservative Christians who shame people for having sex before marriage and tells Queer people, polyamorus people, and people who are in open relationships that they're "sinful" and need to go to hell.</i>

Purity culture as practiced by the American Evangelical Christians is at it’s core a patriarchal and misogynistic means of control and repression, especially of women.  It teaches that sex and sexuality is an inherently sinful and harmful aspect of human nature and must be repressed.  It also teaches women that THEY are responsible for the sexual misdeeds of the men around them. If they are assaulted it’s their fault because they were immodest and drove their attackers into lust. This behavior is mirrored by anti-shippers when they go after ships(that the anti-shippers do not like) and claim that the mere existence of these ships will cause people to commit sexual assault and abuse and it’s the fault of the shippers(not the abusers who are just easily mis-led babies and not responsible for their own actions I guess)  This is one reason why people compare anti-shippers to puritans and purity culture. Because they share the idea that sex, and expressions of sexuality= evil/sinful/harmful and therefor needs to be controlled and police.

<i> When proshippers call antis puritans, they're also being aphobic to the antis that identify as Asexual/Acespec, Aromantic/Arospec, and aroace/aroacespec. Being Ace/Aro is not the same as being a puritan and doesn't mean the hatred of sex/romance. Ace/Aro people don't go out of their way to harass Allos for being openly sexual. We honestly don't care what Allos do with their sex lives. Also there are Ace/Aro people who are sex favored and do have sex.</i>

As a member of the Aro/Ace community you can fuck all the way off with this and you can just keep fucking off. You are correct that being Aro/Ace doesn’t mean being sex-repulsed and sex-negative or being a puritan. Being aro/ace is not related to being anti-ship in anyway shape or form. But if someone is trying to use their asexuality as an excuse or reason to harass shippers and tell them not to write erotica or express their sexuality, claiming that it is somehow inherently harmful or offensive the asexual person is in the wrong and are engaging in one aspect of purity culture. Specifically the part about attempting to control and police other people’s sexual expression.

Also out of curiosity are you familiar with the Aro/Ace micro-identity of aesgosexuality? Here’s some info on it as I don’t want to go into detail here https://gayety.co/what-does-aegosexual-mean Unsurprisingly quite a few aegosexuals are involved in and enjoy shipping and consuming erotic fic.  Tell me what would you call it when people call members of the Aro/Ace community pedophiles and groomers because of the ships they like?

<i> Another thing to point out that proshipper love calling antis conservatives even though conservatives are more likely to say the same things proshippers say. And conservatives will harass anyone that says something they don't agree with like proshippers do. These people need to learn not to harass people and just block anyone that doesn't agree with them. Because why call yourself anti harassment when you're actively harassing anyone that disagrees with you. </i>

And this word salad is a very poor attempt at DARVO.  Could you try to include any examples? Because I have never once seen pro-shippers say anything close to what conservatives say. But right now I can very easily point to examples of anti-shippers calling ships that have nothing to do with incest, pedophilia or grooming, as incest, pedophilia, and grooming.(ie. child-hood friends to lovers is incest, height difference between two adult characters is pedo, autistic characters are minor coded and any ship with them is pedo)  If you’ve been paying attention to the news you might notice how this compares with conservatives recent insane culture wars at labeling anything LGBTQ or gender non-conforming as pedophilia, and grooming. Again we see anti-shippers mirroring conservative behavior by labeling anything they don’t like as pedophilia and a danger to children.

Also when you claim pro-shippers “harass anyone who disgrees with them” do you mean, an anti-shipper says something mean, stupid, and posibly slightly bigoted in a public space and get mocked, rebutted ad shouted down for it? Or someone an anti-shipper has targeted for harassment doesn’t fold and actually fights back? Do you not see how that is similar to when conservative bullies say something bigoted, face consequences for it, and then go whining about the “woke” mob canceling them?

Conservatives and anti-shippers both share a mindset where they center their sense of morality and ethics one themselves and their own personal feelings of disgust.  If they feel disgust at something, then whether or not it’s actually harmful to anything, it’s evil and wrong and needs to be policed or eradicated.  They lack the ability to just left other people just enjoy their own interests and live their own lives in a way that’s different than them

If you don’t like being hit with the puritan, purity culture or conservative label then maybe you should take some time to learn about the impacts of purity culture beyond the very superficial understanding you display here. Learn about sex-positivity and sexual fantasies. And maybe stop regurgitating various right-wing talking points and behaviors while pretending to be progresses

[aroaesflags]

hey! i don’t know if this has been asked before, but i was just wondering if i was okay to use the sunset aroace flag, even if i consider my identities two separate things? i’d just like to use a singular flag so it’s easier for decorations and the like, but i’m really not a fan of any of the other flags that were made, like the green and purple one. i just didn’t want to misuse it, so is it okay for me to use it even if i don’t see my identities as one?

yep! the two blue stripes represent that there are multiple ways to be aroace - it's meant to be broad and inclusive towards anyone who identifies with the aroace label

[areyouthisidentity-polls]

If a label applies to me but I prefer not to use it, should I vote that I am that identity or that I'm not? I've been voting that yes, I am, but maybe it would be more useful for how you sort data if I answered that I'm not?

(example: I'm technically aroace-spec because I'm aroace, but I prefer not to use the -spec label)

That’s not something I’m really comfortable deciding for you, since that’s a bit too close to dictating how people identify. I’m fine with y’all voting however feels right for you, be it yes even if you don’t actively ID with something but the definition fits, or no even if the definition technically fits but you’d never call yourself that.

The only voting I take actual issue with is intentional skewing for joke purposes. I have no problem with anything else^^

[redheadlesbianfreak]

During my Freshman year in college, one of my friends called me the “token straight friend” of our college friend group. It fucking hurt man. I was definitely queer, I was definitely attracted to women, and I knew this. But I didn’t know how to label myself, and I hadn’t “come out” to anyone yet. I wasn’t even out to myself, as I kept doubting my queerness.

You know what I did identify as back then? Asexual. That labeled seemed to be right for me and I felt good about it. I was still called “the token straight friend.” In fact, I wasn’t seen as a “real” member of the queer community by anyone until I started identifying as a lesbian. And got a girlfriend to boot. Suddenly, I went from feeling left out to feeling welcomed.

Coming out to people as asexual was terrifying in its own right. Most people didn’t know what that was, but they heard the word “sexual” and freaked out. Other people really didn’t take me seriously at all. They would say “that’s neat” and then go on a rant about how ace people really weren’t apart of the queer community. 

Am I asexual? I’m honestly not sure anymore. I know for sure I’m comfortable with the lesbian label, I adore the butch label, but there are still some things that are confusing. I like sex, I love the feeling and the connection. But the pressure to perform a certain way is a lot. I think that my sex drive is “low” and I prefer having it every so often. 

I’m also realizing that there is no such thing as a normal sex drive. That everyone has a different relationship with sex, and that’s okay! It’s all valid as long as you aren’t hurting someone. It’s okay if you don’t want to have it, it’s okay if you are repulsed, it’s okay if you adore it and want to have it all the time, and it’s also okay if you would prefer it every so often. 

I’ve been wanting to blog about this for a very long time. When ace people talk about how violently acephobic so many people were in the LGBTQIA community just a few years ago, they’re telling the truth. I felt it firsthand and I stopped using a label that I felt comfortable with for a long time. 

I really want this blog to be sex positive and never shame people for loving sex. I hate slut-shaming and I want people to live their best life. I think people should be loud and proud, do what makes them comfortable. But it’s so important to me that my blog is supportive of those who are aroace for a reason. 

I think that love, sexuality, and relationships look different for everyone--and that’s beautiful. No one should ever be shamed because of the way they live or for being themselves.

[aroaceconfessions]

i’m aroace, but i don’t feel super connected to my aro identity, since i love the idea of dating people, of shipping, even writing romance in my own stories/fics. which isn’t to say that ppl who do those things are any less aro, or any less connected to the community, it’s just… that i really feel that way. plus the aro stereotype, while obviously satirical in some aspects, is just… not me. i love my friends, i love valentine’s day, the idea of kissing someone and living with them and being in a romantic relationship all sound great to me, and i can see myself in those scenarios. the only unappealing thing to me is any sort of sexual aspect, since i’m ace but really don’t want to have sex or even kiss anyone for too long, neither are my thing.

so i was wondering— anyone with similar thoughts, or advice? i know that like, in theory, objectively, aro is the right label for me — i don’t feel romantic attraction, not a bit of it. however, i also read that labels are not meant to be constructing, and aro… aro feels constricting. i don’t have internalised arophobia to work thru — this is something i have thought about a lot, in depth, and aro never really seems to fit. it’s a like sweater that’s my size and my favourite colour, but when i put it on, it clings too tight and feels all wrong. i can’t exactly give a whole reason why — again, no arophobia, i understand and love the community, love aro content i read, and i support aros in lgbtq spaces. however, despite being objectively the definition of aro, i…. y’all, the label doesn’t feel right, it feels more uncomfortable than comfy.

i also read a lot about how lgbtq spaces online have boxed everything into strict definitions and condemned people for existing slightly outside of them — which is true, and i have that, and i think this may be that, but i’m just… terrified. i feel like an imposter, just looking for attention. like i don’t belong in the lgbtq community or with the cishets. nothing makes sense.

i often say that i’m nonbinary and ace, but i’m also not happy with just stating those two things — because that implies that i feel romantic attraction, which i don’t, and that doesn’t feel true to me or the labels i wan to use. i…. gosh. i don’t know.

agender is a label that objectively describes my gender, but i don’t use it. i guess i just wish that there was something like for aro — a blank void, a clean slate, that said ‘none of this’ and make what you want of it. the aro label doesn’t feel like that for me. i don’t know what to do.

other labels such as bi or pan don’t fit either — since i don’t experience romantic attraction, and don’t fit the stereotype of those labels either, i… identified as bi for a long time before i realised i was aro, and i felt just as confused as i did now. i’m just so confused! i’ve finally found a label that objectively fits what i experience! i’m proud of the community and how many strides we’ve taken. but why then, why, why, does it not feel like fits me?

i’m not heteroromantic and nb, like one of my friends somewhat was, but that’s the impression i probably give, because i can’t find anything that feels like home to me within the aro labels. i don’t know why. i feel awful about it.

Submitted February 10, 2023

[kitty8804]

My sibling and I just watched Tinker Bell and the Pirate Fairy and we came up with a bunch of sexuality and dating headcannons based on it. The conversation was very funny so I thought I would share our final consensus on this.

Sexualities

Tinker Bell : Pansexual

Get it? Because of Peter Pan. Tink just doesn’t really care. She has always done her own thing and that also applies to who she likes.

Silvermist: Bisexual

I originally thought of her as a lesbian, but her outfit in the Pirate Fairy was the Bi flag colors so she has to be Bi. I think she is a huge disaster bisexual, but is also denser than a brick. You could scream that you are in love with her and she will not get it.

Iridessa: Queer

She definitely isn’t straight. But neither of us can figure out what her sexuality is. We like to think that Iridessa identifies as queer because trying to commit to a single label gives her too much anxiety.

Fawn: Lesbian Asexual Gender Non Conforming

Look at this girl and tell me she doesn’t like girls! I dare you! I just can’t see her dating men at all. As for asexual we decided to use it as an umbrella term. I’m not sure where she lands on the spectrum. She definitely isn’t sex repulsed though. Also I think Fawn identifies as a girl but that doesn’t really mean anything to her. She sometimes uses they/them but very rarely.

Vidia: Lesbian

This girl gives mean lesbian vibes and we all know it. Also she has definitely kissed everyone in the main friend group at least once.

Rosetta: Bi-curious and Trans mtf

To my sibling she gives off huge trans girl vibes and I can definitely see it. I feel like it didn’t take long for her to transition after being born in Pixie Hallow. Maybe a couple months. A year tops. When she did come out everyone was like “Finally! She transitioned!” As for her being Bi-curious we think that she genuinely didn’t realize that girls were an option. It took two of the girls in the friend group dating for Rosetta to realize that she could date girls, and that she her completely normal thoughts about her friends were not as platonic as she thought. I like to think Fawn helped her figure some stuff out. But she does still like men and probably prefers them, even if only slightly. She is still with her boyfriend Sled.

Couples

So we came to the conclusion that Tink and Vidia dated for a bit, but broke up. No one really knows this because they kept it quiet since they have the same friend group and didn’t want things to be awkward if it didn’t work out. In the end the two are just not compatible romantically. Their tempers were the main reason. They joke about it now though.

We came to the conclusion that Tinker and Terence eventually do date. They are both polyamorous and are looking for a third, but no one seems interested.

Silvermist and Fawn are two dumbasses in a pod. They get into so much shit together. They love each other and have no shame.

Finally when watching the Pirate Fairy we noticed that Vidia was usually the one calming down Iridessa when she was having an anxiety attack and it was cute. I actually think they were the first of the friend group to start dating, but were very low key about it. When everyone found out Silvermist and Fawn started dating everyone said that they were the first of the friend group to start dating each other and Vidia just looked at everyone and stated that she and Iridessa had been dating for over a year. Everyone freaked out.

Extras:

Periwinkle: AroAce

Girl thinks she is Pansexual like her sister because she feels the same about everyone. But she doesn’t realize that the feeling is platonic and lack of romantic and sexual interest.

Bobble: Gay Trans ftm

According to my sibling this man is too much of a twink to not be trans. Also this man is totally married to Clank and you can’t tell me other wise.

Clank: Gay

Like I said he and Bobble are married and that’s that.

Queen Clarion: Bisexual

I don’t know. She gives off mom bisexual vibes. I actually think she might have a slight preference for girls. She is madly in love with her boyfriend though.

Fairy Mary: Lesbian

She totally had a huge crush on Queen Clarion, but never pursued it because she could tell that Queen Clarion was not mentally ready for a relationship even if she didn’t know why.

Zarina: Bisexual

This girl is definitely not straight. I feel like she might be interested in being the third that Tink and Terence are looking for idk.

Terence: Just Ken

He is either the straightest dude bro ally in history or he’s Bi. There is no in between.

[siriusly-rem]

HEARTSTOPPER S2 SPOILERS

I’m not gonna lie, I cried at Isaac’s arc

Like as an aroace person myself, I could literally feel the confusion surrounding him. He was surrounded by couples everywhere, which then sort of lights a bulb in your head like “why don’t I have a s/o?”

As we saw in S1, Isaac didn’t really care about relationships. Nor did he really care in the beginning of S2. It was just him and his books. But his “loneliness” (and I’m putting it in quotes because i don’t think he was lonely) is impossible to ignore when he realizes it’s just him and his books.

When he begins to get attention from James it’s nice, it’s refreshing, and it’s so easy to get confused. Especially when you never even considered you could be aro and/or ace. And he rejoined the party after kissing James and realizing he did in fact not have feelings—only to be met with everyone having fun and being coupley. It freaking sucks. And I felt a tear of my own roll down my cheek just as he did too. Because it truly feels like there’s something wrong with you.

It took me years before I even heard about aromantics and asexuals. And let me tell you once I got that information it was like the I fell into place. I no longer felt like an awkward puzzle piece that could not fit into the puzzle that is the world. It clicked and everything made sense. And you can see that at the art gallery where the artist tells Isaac about their piece and this look of peace and relief washes over him. (I cried here too)

AND THEN AT PROM WHERE HE GRABS THE ASEXUAL BOOK TO LEARN MORE. Ugh he’s just like me fr

Anyway, there isn’t a lot of asexual and aromatic representation and while I also identify myself with other characters and their experiences, Isaac was something else for me. A lot of people seem to brush of aros and aces even in LBGT community itself.

It’s hard enough living in a world that puts sex and romance on a pedestal, don’t forget us. Thank you Alice Oseman for including us.

We are the ‘A’ in LGBTQIA+ ‼️

[crying-in-converse]

I have kind of always felt that I am both on the asexual and aromantic spectrum, but I don’t know why I hesitate to use those labels, maybe because I don’t consider myself “strictly” aroace (but maybe I am, I don’t know). What does it look like to be on that spectrum? I understand the idea but I think I need someone to put it into words for me so that I could see for myself if it is applicable to me.

i identify as aroace even though i dont believe i "strictly" am aroace. i always leave room for my feelings to change. i dont want to get too into the details, stressing myself out about labels. so i just call my self aroace, you can call yourself aroace if you are on the spectrums on both aromantic and asexual.

i still havent really had a crush, or any attraction like that, but i am open to it. if i do end up having romantic feelings one day, then i am still aroace because i know i experience romantic attraction differently and less frequently then other people.

i dont like to label it too hard.

i only describe being on the aroace spectrum as feeling as though your attraction is different. maybe you get crushes less frequently or not as intense. you can still call yourself aroace as long as you fit on the spectrum, and if you know you do, you dont have to immediately feel like you need the micro label for that.

just know that every aroace's experience is different and you can use the labels as long as you feel you are on that spectrum.

lmk if this helped or you have other questions <3 <3 <3 <3

[our-aroace-experience]

hi i’m having an issue and i though maybe you could help, or at least try to give me some advice

i absolutely HATE when dudes in my classes are like “ooooh you have a crush on (some dude) because you spoke about him/talk to him/defended him for something” because no i don’t. and my only response that’ll get them to leave me alone is “no, im gay” because im not going to explain myself to someone like that (who definitely wouldn’t understand, or might think im invalid), but THEN they think im lesbian (just to clarify, im not lesbian) so now everyone thinks i like girls when yea, kinda, but not as much as they think. on top of ALL of this, them thinking im a lesbian corresponds to me being perceived as a woman, even though i do not identify that way, and its really degrading to my self esteem and causing me to feel generally like shit, like i am a woman and will always be a woman, even though im very not.

but back to whatever ramblings i was doing before. i use the label omni-gray-aroace, meaning that i feel little to no romantic and sexual attraction (in my case, very little). i use omni as well because with my very little to no sexual/romantic attraction and tertiary attraction i also have a preference for guys (or more male aligned people). so if i was to ever date (probably not) or be in a qpr (most likely) with ANY dude involved then i feel like im a liar, and that im a terrible person for being a liar.

i’ve tried asking my friends for help and advice, but all but two of them are allo and don’t understand my identity and wouldn’t know how to help, and the two that aren’t allo have no idea how to help me, because they don’t understand how i identify either.

(note: all of my friends are very VERY accepting of me and my identity, but they all just don’t understand the labels i use and don’t know how to research them. i’ve also tried explaining to them personally, but they still don’t quite understand.)

so now i have no idea how to feel or how to get myself out of this hole im in. i would really appreciate help, or any advice you could try to give me, because at this point anything could help.

thanks

my advice for the people in your classes would be to stop telling them you’re gay. it doesn’t seem to fix the problem and seems to hurt you more than it solves anything. if you can, just ignore them, since they’re most likely just doing it to get a reaction, and ignoring them will often make them stop. obviously this is easier said than done, but giving it a try might help you feel less uncomfortable & help with being perceived as a woman.

as for feeling like a liar, having a qpr or relationship with a guy wouldn’t make you a liar since you said you are attracted to men more than other genders.

you could try explaining your identity to your friends by explaining what omnisexual/romantic is first. tell them it means you can be attracted to all genders but that you prefer men & male-aligned people. then you could try saying that you’re omni but you just rarely feel any attraction at all. i hope any of this help, feel free to send in another ask if you want any more advice or just need to vent!

[bluemoon160]

【IᑎTᖇOᗪᑌᑕTIOᑎ】 💙🌌

Hey everyone! My name is Rosalind but I also go by Ross or Ros. OR you could call me by my internet names Blue or Bluemoon if you’d like! (It’s a lot of names I know lol sorry. Just pick whatever).

I’m a 20yo artist, writer, and editor who will be mostly focusing on fanart, self ship, furry content, and maybe some cosplay on this blog. I do have a business focused on my published books, OCs, and editing services which you can find here if you’re interested. I’m more active over on those accounts since I work on that stuff almost full time now but I try and post fan/personal content when I can. This blog specifically will be a place for all my self indulgent interests. I may not be super active here but will try to anyway :)

【ᗪIᔕᑕᒪᗩIᗰEᖇ】

Skip ahead to read more about me, my, interests, and who I ship with, etc. But in the meantime, I need to get this out of the way and say that I really wanna make new friends here but I’m also hesitant to rejoin any sort of self ship and/or fan communities because of how many horrible experiences I’ve had with them before. Perhaps Tumblr is different but I wanted to put this out here for my own peace of mind lol. So please be patient with me. I grew up in fandom and self ship spaces that had constant arguments about literally everything. Trigger warnings, whatever vivziepop drama was circulating that day, pro vs anti ship, some debacle with an animation studio—you name it, people were screaming about it and they’d get mad at everyone for so much as breathing round them wrong. I didn’t even know what half of this discourse was even about and everything I’ve learned has been against my will. So no, this is not me “taking a side”, I just don’t want to be apart of discourse anymore. My morals are this: live and let live unless you’re supporting/romanticizing anything immoral. If you have genuine critiques about how I portray certain things then definitely let me know since I’m always concerned about how I represent stuff, but aside from that, this is just a blog to talk about stuff I like so let’s keep it chill please. 🧍‍♂️

【ᗩᗷOᑌT ᗰE】

⭐My full name Rosalind B. Sterling (or you can call me by the other names listed above)

⭐I’m 20 (covered that lol)

⭐I’m bi and aroace (I also sometimes use the term procul but I don’t identify with it as a sexuality. Just an add on term for my asexuality to explain how my sexual attraction fades away once my relationship with someone becomes real).

⭐I’m genderfluid and my pronouns are she/he/they

⭐I’m mixed race/Puerto Rican

⭐I’m neurodivergent (OCD, MaDD, and a few other things) so tone tags would be great to use around me but they’re not required

⭐I currently live Ohio (yes I’ve heard all the jokes and they’re honestly pretty accurate lmao)

⭐My favorite colors are aqua, bright purple, hot pink, and neon green

【ᖴ/O's】

Note: some of these characters might come from controversial media. I just like them for personal/creative/self indulgent reasons so don’t interact if these make you uncomfortable.

“Main” f/o’s

(Putting this in quotes since I hardly ever talk about these characters nowadays. They’ve just been my main for a while and I feel too attached to take them off the list)

⭐Dan {Dan Vs.} (Started shipping 7 years ago)

⭐Gary {Final Space} (Starting shipping 6 years ago).

Current main:

⭐ Alastor {Hazbin Hotel} (Started shipping 4 years ago) And before anyone comes after me with the “but he’s aroace!” comments, I know that and I don’t erase it. I’m aroace too and kind of imagine him and my S/I being in a possible QPR type thing. I still have developing to do. I just like the thought of two aroaces hitting it off and bonding closely. I take a lot of comfort in him as a fellow aroace so leave me be please 😭

⭐The Narrator and Stanley {The Stanley Parable} (This one’s a polyship and is pretty recent. Been shipping for about 7 months now)

Other f/o’s:

⭐Pinkie pie {MLP}

⭐Reagan {Inside job}

⭐Jinx {Arcane}

Other characters I like but don't consider f/o’s:

⭐Connor {Detroit Become Human}

⭐The Warden {Superjail}

⭐Andre {Inside Job}

⭐Ken {Barbie Movie}

⭐Mike {fnaf movie}

⭐️Rarity {MLP}

⭐Reigen {Mob Psycho 100}

⭐Archer {Archer} (It's always the walking red flags that get me 😔)

Familial/platonic f/o’s:

The only ones I can think of rn is Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel. I kinda see them all like family tbh but specifically Angel Dust. Also maybe Kirk from Star Trek. Like we’d definitely be besties I’m so fr.

There’s probably more but I’d have to think about it.

【KIᑎs】

⭐Reagan {Inside job}

⭐Brett {Inside job}

⭐Moxxie {Helluvaboss}

⭐️ Millie {Helluvaboss}

⭐Tina {Bob’s burgers} (This one’s so funny to me but it’s so true. She’s literally me in every way possible😭)

Am I comfy sharing any of my f/os and kins?

Yes! I’m fine having doubles. I used to hate it a few years back but now that my mental health is a little more in check and I don’t have to rely on self shipping for major comfort like I used to, I no longer feel bothered by that. It was unhealthy anyway. Not to judge anyone who hates having doubles. I understand folks have pretty valid reasons for it. I just realized the attachment I had to these characters was turning into an unhealthy kind of obsession and was hurting me more than helping. I’m out of that place now luckily. I still self ship for comfort reasons but it’s not as in ease as it was before and mostly just for funsies now. If you're comfy sharing and we have doubles, totally message me so we can gush and ramble together! I love doing that 🫶💖

【ᗰY ᖴᑌᖇᔕOᑎᗩ】

Putting this here too since I'll probbaly be sharing furry stuff whenever I get the chance. So here is my eyesore of a fursona which is a wolf/fox/bat hybrid with a scene kid aesthetic who looks like every middle school edgelord oc deisgn vomited into one character. But idc honestly. I’m not doing anything serious with her and am just having fun. I also might use her for self shipping if I end up F/Oing any anthro characters but idk.

Art credit goes to coral-kun

【IᑎTEᖇEᔕTᔕ】

⭐Anything sci fi, crime, or comedy

⭐Any time era from before the 2010s. Though I specifically love the 20s-50s, and 80s-2000s the best :)

⭐Cartoons. Specifically for adults. Adult swim is literally my go to channel lol

⭐Reading, writing, art, crafting, etc

⭐Space, science, dinosaurs/paleontology and history

⭐Animals and zoos

⭐Conspiracy theories and mysteries

⭐Anything horror, paranormal, or creepy pasta

【ᑕᒪOᔕIᑎG】

And that's it! I hope I can meet some new friends and stuff but also predict that my reach won't be all that huge since I've never had massive luck with algorithms. Especially as of late. But if you're seeing this, don't be afraid to message me or interact! I love meeting new folks :3