#i feel like this is just a bunch of nonsensical rambling

[sysig]

Your Weekly TV Guide

On Monday you can expect:

2:30 PM: Star Control II - Helix

And Tuesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Wednesday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thursday:

2:30 PM: Just Desserts

Friday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Saturday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Sunday:

2:30 PM: SCII - Helix

Thanks for tuning in! (Patreon)

[thesmollestsnek]

Huh. I just realized that my hair is even longer than I think it is. Which is fuckin impressive, coming from me, considering. I normally think of my hair as waist length. But uhh, I showered just now and apparently it’s actually down to my hips? Which is fuckin wild, like damn. I know I literally never get haircuts but I somehow wasn’t expecting this, normally it’s in a braid and even when it’s down it’s wavy enough that I didn’t realize. There’s not like, an actual point to this ramble, just. I happened to look in a mirror right after showering and was surprised at how long it actually is, I didn’t think my hair could actually get this long, it’s never gotten more than like an inch below my waist before. I guess the most recent addition to my hair care routine’s been having even bigger effect than j thought.

[avatardoggo]

what’s the point of being a nation uNDER THE BLOODY CROWN IF YOU DONT REEP THE BENEFITS?!

[bilbao-song]

every time i think about the whole ordeal re: almost missing the elton john concert i feel like. physically ill. like i’m SOOOO glad it worked out but that was such a close call i can’t get over it even a whole entire month later

[compulsiveaquatic]

I have 24 hours to turn the essay in my head which has all the coherency of an Unraveled video into a comprehensive research report

[huexuri]

!! keep talking ⋆ — k.th

NSFW, MDNI!!!

summary: smut w little plot, taehyun likes ur voice like a bit too much

warnings: fem!reader, switch!reader, switch!tyun, lots of dirty talk, pillow humping, masturbating, video call mutual masturbating

wc: 1.9k

taehyun misses your voice. a lot.

the both of you used to live in the same apartment to accommodate transportation to your designated campuses. until, taehyun had found a more convenient place to stay for a while before he would come back to live with you.

it was supposed to be just a few months, but those few months felt like years to taehyun. he missed the way you would come home and talk to him about things that happened that day, ramble to him about useless things. he never really paid attention to your silly stories; he only ever really enjoyed listening to the tone of your voice, the way the words roll off your tongue like butter. it's like music to his ears, the way your voice sounds like silk to him. he'd listen to you ramble on forever if he could.

especially when you sing your favorite songs over and over again, bustling around in the kitchen for any snacks, taehyun always thought of you as a smart girl with a pretty face and the voice of an angel.

he never expected he'd miss your voice so much.

so much so, he'd simply grow hard listening to your voicemails — feeling as if he's deprived of your voice, he's replaying them over and over again, wishing it was whatever you said whispered in his ear, even better if that voice of yours is put to use, moaning in his ear and calling out his name as you grind down on him; making sure all that rings in his puny head for the rest of his life are your moans.

my god, your voice. it's dizzying to him, hypnotizing even. he doesn't know what it is in your voice that he loves so much. like some type of drug. he loves everything about you as his best friend — but your voice,, it's everything to him.

so, imagine the guilt that washes over him when you ask if you could video call with him and play games. he's going to hear your voice for the first time in forever. shouldn't he be ecstatic?

no, because he knows he's going to fucking bust the moment you start to speak.

“taehyun? why isn't your camera on?” you spoke through the phone, half your face in frame.

“no, nothing. if i turn on my camera it'll be very laggy.” taehyun chuckled, a tinge of fluster behind his words.

“okay then! you should join me now, i'm already in game. i sent you the code earlier.” you said before putting your phone down so your camera faces the ceiling.

“o-okay.”

you guys played for a few rounds before talking again, and taehyun doesn't know how he survived listening to you yap for the entire time the both of you were playing. not in a bad way, but in a way where he's surprised and relieved he didn't make a mess of his shorts.

"anyways, finals are killing me. i feel like i've been living in the library," you complained like you usually would.

"ugh, tell me about it!” taehyun scoffed as he waited for you to continue the conversation.

"organic chem is so hard. it's like a bunch of nonsense i'm looking at.” you continued.

"at least you're not doing what i'm doing. it's like a different language. i keep questioning my life choices every time i open the textbook," taehyun said, his voice slightly shaky, but you thought nothing of it.

you nod at the camera. “uh huh, i get you. these days i think i've been okay though? i hung out with sumin and yeeun at karaoke recently. you know, we sang till our throats were hoarse. and also—”

your words go in one of taehyun's ears and come out the other. no, to him that's not important, not as important as the sound of you talking. all he can think of is how he's filled with guilt as he slips a fist beneath his boxers, grabbing onto his already leaking erection and jerking off… to your voice.

i'm really sorry, the thought rings in his head over and over again as his cock springs out of his boxers the more he pulls his waistband down to his thighs, leaning back against his gaming chair.

the tip of his cock glossy and starting to become a pinkish hue, he pleasures himself, free hand clutching his headphones to listen to your voice clearer, increasing the volume of the call.

he bites his lips as he closes his eyes as he starts to near his high.

“—she literally bumped into me and didn't say anything! she looked at me up and down with a dirty look, like i swear i would've—” you go silent. “taehyun?” you suddenly ask.

taehyun jolts from his seat, letting go of his cock as he readjusts his position.

“y-yeah? what?” he responds, throat dry as his adam's apple bobs up and down.

“are you even listening?” you frown at him through the camera.

“yeah,, uh, of course i am.” taehyun clears his throat.

you sigh. “okay, because you're awfully quiet. anyways, so she hit me—”

fuck, that was close. he thinks. his hand slowly picks up it's pace and he's stroking his cock again, back arching against the backrest of the chair as he throws his head back, mouth slightly agape and huffing.

“i don't even know what's her problem! right, tae??” you ask for his approval.

“r-right, ss—aah, keep talking, ‘m so close,” he whispers, his voice cracking. he doesn't register why you went quiet for an awkward 10 seconds before it finally clicks and he clasps a hand over his mouth.

“taehyun.. are you touching yourself ...?” you realize why his camera is off and why he seemed like he wasn't listening. then, silence. “taehyu—”

“i'm so sorry, y/n!!” taehyun blurts out desperately, with nothing else to say, he goes quiet again. guilt travels all over his body in the form of goosebumps as he thinks of what kind of stupid pervert he is, when all you wanted to do with him was chat.

“fuck, dude. if you just wanted to jerk off to my voice you should've told me.”

“huh? wait what?” taehyun's eyes soften.

“it’s kinda hot.” you mumbled as you shifted your camera down to your chest, touching it and rubbing the plushness. “come on, turn on your camera. don't be shy.” you said in a more demanding tone, testing the waters on what he liked the most.

“fuck, y/n, don't do this to me. your voice is…” taehyun sighed as he turned on his camera, showing his fucked out face, hazy eyes and swollen pink lips, glossy with drool all over them.

“you have a thing for my voice?” you asked as you smiled, positioning your camera slightly far away from your chair so he could see you fully.

“i've loved your voice since the beginning of time, i just… i-i don't know. ever since i moved out i realized i collapsed at the sound of your voice just so much more easily..” taehyun also adjusts his camera perfectly so that the frame cuts at his lower abdomen. you can see his shirt ride up above his pecs and his abs slightly moist with sweat.

“tell me what you want me to say then, this is your chance.” you fondle with your clothed breasts in front of the camera, nipples perking up and visible on the cloth, and taehyun slightly flinches at the sight.

“sssshit, i can't focus when you look and sound like that, stop doing that.” taehyun trembles under his breath as he fists his cock again. you can see his hand moving but you can't see his cock out. for some reason, the excitement turned you on way more.

“it's okay, take your time.” you said gently as your hands traveled under your shirt.

“fuck, need you to moan so badly. just whatever, fucking need you to use that voice of yours. please.” taehyun begged, his voice raspy and out of it.

“really?” you grabbed a pillow nearby and placed it beneath you. wearing nothing but a pair of dolphin shorts, you held on to the chair as you rocked your hips back and forth, arching your back to find the angle, starting slow and throwing your head back.

“p-please watch me, tae. i'd grind on your cock like this if you were—aah, mmfh~” you found your pace, looking at your phone screen with dazed eyes. you see taehyun running his fingers through his disheveled hair, holding on to the headphones as he bites his lips and fists his cock at unimaginable speeds.

“talk,” he breathily orders as his hips jitter in his hands.

“show me you're jerking off first,” you said, and taehyun sits slightly further away from the camera, showing an angle of him fisting himself.

“yeah, stroking that cock because my voice turns you on that bad, huh?” you chuckle as you increase your pace, your cunt rubbing onto the surface of the silk pillowcase. “f-fuuuck, tyunnie. a-aah—feels so goddamn good, just wish you were here so badly—!”

“yeah? i'll fuck your ability to walk out of you if i were there right now, holy shit.” taehyun pants and groans as he spits onto his cockhead. “does it feel good? does my cock rubbing against your cunt feel good?” taehyun fists his shaft to simulate the pillow you're humping.

“yeah, oh fuck, fuckfuck—” your mouth is wide open and your head is thrown back as you ride the pillow at incomprehensible speeds, your pussy throbbing and pulsing against the fabric as your slick begins to stain the cover. “you'd feel even better inside me, mmh~”

“keep talking like that and i'll actually go insane, spewing nothing but filth out of that pretty mouth of yours.” taehyun's hips thrust upwards into his fist as he watches you reach your high.

“isn't that what you wanted, taehyun? got off of my voice because you wanted me to moan and whimper in your ear?” you continued to hump the pillow as you felt yourself go dizzy. “gonna cum, a-aah–!”

“you're gonna make me— holy shit,” taehyun's moans became irregular and gradually louder. eventually after you came back from seeing stars, you could see his load splattered all over his fist and abs.

you stared at the screen blankly, mind barely able to function as the both of you pant heavily.

“i'm coming back tomorrow, i don't care.” taehyun remarks as he puts his pants back on and wipes the stripes of cum off of his abdomen.

“isn't it inconvenie—”

“i don't care about conveniency as long as i get to fuck you immediately after i see you again.” taehyun firmly said with a shit-eating grin plastered all over his fucked out face.

“promise?” you said, smiling at the camera.

“promise.”

later that night, you're shocked to see taehyun standing at your door with a bunch of huge ass bags and a pair of his favorite sneakers.

“you're still holding on to what you said?” you asked him as you let him in with a giggle. “come, i'll help you put these things down first.”

“i don't make promises i can't keep, love. i missed that voice of yours so fucking much, you have no idea… over the phone was clearly not enough.”

you cleared your throat. “i think i do have an idea, after what happened this afternoon..”

[twistedwonderlandobsession]

Blinded by Beauty

Type: Angst

Character(s): Rook, Vil, Kalim, Ace, Deuce, Epel

Format: Oneshot

Warnings: !!Spoilers for Chapter 5!!, general grief, mentions of slight injury, mentions rejection

It hurt...so very much, you and Vil had realized it at the same time as you saw Neige's act.

You Were Going To Loose.

The burning sensation of mediocrity filled you. You could see it now.... but after a moment of calming yourself, you went off to find Vil, who had stormed off...

Your faith had been restored when Malleus had restored the stage for you. A glimmer of hope sparking in his support. Silencing your inner pessimist and focusing on the bright side of things. After merely fifteen minutes, you were watching your team preforming. Suddenly you were on stage next to Kamil, waiting anxiously as they counted votes, the minutes before recalling how you got here becoming a blur.

The voice of the announcer echoing throughout the stage as you stood next to Kalim.

Thirty seconds until the polls close! Ten, nine, eight, seven...Three, two, one... TIME!

A loud bang rang throughout the stadium, bot once, bot twice, but three times.

We are now getting the final tally.

...And the results are in!

M-my goodness... Is this really possible?!

Would you believe that the difference between first and second place is ONE vote?!

A long and dramatic pause ensued, you could Feel the tension in the air, and in your body. Physical restraining yourself from bitting your nails or picking your skin out of anxiousness. Purely because you knew Vil would scold you and probably gracefully beat your ass.

ROYAL SWORD ACADEMY!!!

What a wholesome performance it was!

O-oh my gosh... Really? We got the top spot?Thank you... Thank you so-

In that moment it was like your whole world came crashing down and you were reliving all those brutal rejections all over again as Neiges voice and everything else faded into the background....Why?...why did this always happen? Why were you always not enough? Always the last pick. Always the last resort.

And just like that you hear Vil in outrage breaking you out of you little world you always went to... you didn't hear the first part of the conversation like, but the second part is what broke you.

"Oh, fair Vil. Our Roi du Poison....I must apologize, for my choice has brought you much anguish...."

You glanced over at Rook to see him appearing to be sorrowful with his hands held up.

"But I simply couldn't lie to myself."

"...Huh? What are you talking about?"

Vils confusion was as evident as your own, since to you it was if Rook was rambling on about nonsense once more, but no matter. Rook carried on spouting his nonsense despite the reactions of others to his eccentric behavior.

"What? What do you mean, you're the one most deserving of my ire?"

"Well, you see... Here."

Rook pulled his phone out of out his pocket, unlocking it with his passwords and opening Google pulling up the voting website before flashing the screen twords the group showing off the bright blue logo. The lump in your throat grew as you faded out once more. Like you were no longer in the room but just a spirit watching over everyone. Not again please. Only able to observe as Vil stumbled backwards and Deuce and Kalim scrambled next to him to stop his grief and shock filled form from hitting the ground.

"...n-no..."

"Whoa! Vil, hold it together!"

Kalim exclaimed while grabbing onto Vil's left forearm and attempting to grab his shoulder as well but was only able to grab his upper arm due to the height difference between the pair. Meanwhile Deuce stood to his right wrapping his left hand around his back whilst holding onto Vil's other forearm with his right.

"Steady, sir! Here, hold onto my shoulder. "

Ace and epel were the loudest of the bunch whilst Jamil stood completely silent. You could practically feel Ace's outrage as he tried to refrain himself from going ham on Rook.

"Are you nuts, Rook?! Why did you vote for Royal Sword Academy?!"

Epel's County accent slipped through as he was far to blinded by his emotions to even attempt to hide it and Vil was to busy being shook to his core to scold him for it.

"I don't believe you! Why'd ya do somethin' so boneheaded?!"

Rook merely sighed and shook his head sorrowfully as if this wasn't his fault. Continuing to blabber on like usual although this time instead of being joyfull or filled with admiration his voice was laced with sorrow.

"I told you: I simply couldn't lie to myself. Neige's group believed in themselves and each other when they danced and sang."

His voice and facial expressions turned away struck as he recounted Neige's preformance, almost like his sorrow was immediately stripped away. Almost like it Hadn't been there in the first place.

"When I saw them up there, they struck me as powerful...and as the fairest of all in that exact moment."

"This is just... I can't..."

It felt like Vil was about to faint, and to be honest she wouldn't have blamed him if she did. It felt like someone was squeezing her heart Why...why did he vote for them...didn't they do enough? He had trained and fought along side them. So why now did he feel the need to suddenly swap sides.

"Vil. Nobody should believe in your beauty more than you yourself."

Bullshit

"It is most becoming, the way you maintain such rigid self restraint while polishing yourself to triumph over your rival."

Liar

But as long as you lack conviction...

Why are you even here, just leave

No amount of validation from the rest of the world will ever leave you fulfilled.

Shut up

Even if you wind up old, emaciated, grimy, and stooped over...If you were to truly believe that you are the fairest of all despite that, even the Magic Mirror of legend wouldn't contest your claim.

That isn't how the world works

The strength and pride to believe in yourself is what marks the true fairest one of all

Roi du Poison. Fair Vil. I implore you to believe in yourself more than anyone else. Beauty is always with you. At this exact moment, you are the fairest one of all.

You don't believe that

You wanted to tape his mouth shut. Why couldn't he just shut up? It made your skin crawl. Just shut up! If you weren't still on stage you would reach over and slap him. How dare he! How dare he be so supportive and upbeat only to cave in the end! How dare he give you hope only to crush it! How dare he betray his team!

....Why wouldn't he be quite...Please...please be quite...

You vision was staring to become blurry ans a headache soon followed. No one even noticed you as you left. they never did.... I mean after all

You were just the manager.

That's all you ever were to them, right? Always just some side character watching from the sidelines as everyone around you got what they needed or found closure...That's what you had always been. The disposable tool that people can pick up when they needed and abandoned when they wished. You were never important...not enough for them to stick around. Why weren't you enough? You did what they asked, you followed every rule, every social guild line, never complained, never spoke out...but then why did they always leave? Where you just not enough? You tried, you really did.

The voices of RSA and NRC all blurred together to create one mush of noises that would overload anyone's senses as you pushed through the crowd. Trying to get away, just wanting to be alone. Blinking away what you already knew were tears. Hoping you were quick enough to get to a secluded spot before you broke down. Slidding past all the crowds and in between the stalls to the only area you knew no one would be at, the forest behind NRC that was barely considered School property

Continuing on into the forest, going deeper and deeper as the hustle and bustle of the still ongoing festival vanished. Your legs were aching from all the walking but you pressed onward, even as it began to sprinkle. Hot angry tears pouring down your face making it slightly red and puffy. You hadn't even realized the sun was slowly beginning to set, the usually blue sky fading into a ombre of pinks, oranges, and yellows. What usually would have been beautiful now felt dull.

Your body suddenly stumbled forward, reaching out you hands to try and soften your fall, tumbling down a small hill you hissed in pain, body aching and palms burning as you slowly attempted to sit up. Groaning as you stood up, looking around, a sharp pain sent through your ankle causing you to hiss in pain and lean forward.

"Yeah there is no way I'm moving any further."

Reluctantly walking over to a nearby tree, wincing with each step.

"Ow."

The bruises and scraped from the scuffle with vil that had previously been soothed were now irritated once more from the small tumble. Groaning like a old man as you sat down, leaning against the tree for support, your head pounding from all the crying you had been doing for the past who knows how long. Resting your eyes for a moment when you felt a small droplet hit the top of you head, and then another on your arm, and another and another and one more. You laughed bitterly as you realized what was to happen in the next few hours.

"It's raining...it's really raining... and I'm stuck here. Just fucking great."

There was no moment of peace, there was no good luck, there was no break. Not for you at least. And there was no savior here to wisk you away to the warmth of your drab home. After all no one had even noticed you were gone dispight being absent for hours ans the sky now darkening.

There was no Prince Charming, and there never will be.

[aromantic-diaries]

I haven't read Loveless but I hope they start selling it in hungarian bookstores soon cause if it gets wrapped in plastic we'll have confirmation that aros and aces are in fact queer

I feel like this joke needs some explanation. In hungary there's a law that LGBTQ+ themed books must be wrapped in plastic when sold in bookstores. If Loveless were to be sold in hungarian bookstores, the plastic wrap would lead to the bittersweet conclusion that aros and aces are part of the community hence the homophobic law being applied to a book about an aroace character. Is this dark humor? Maybe not dark just dimly lit. Actually this isn't much of a joke more like a satirical statement of sorts. Is it irony? Don't think so because it's not like I'm stating the opposite of what I actually think. This explanation has gone into an analysis I think I should just hit the post button now. I actually found Loveless in a bookstore that sells books in english and it wasn't wrapped in plastic but then again maybe that's a different case cause the books there aren't in hungarian so like I guess most younger teens aren't getting their books there and the law is a bunch of protect the children nonsense. It's not in the big bookstores like Libri which do have Heartstopper and other works by Alice Oseman, all wrapped in plastic. Anyways I'm just rambling now bye

[keepingitformyself]

learning to warm cold hands

A/N: i don’t know what this is????? just a bunch of love nonsense because i was in the absolute mood for love (you’ll see). will it make sense? idk. the ending was intentionally made abrupt… hope u like it tho :]

synopsis: two people who love each other belong together. that’s it.

pairings: natasha romanoff x reader

genre: fluff?

warnings: none i don’t think…

please do not repost my work anywhere for any reason at all. if you do see this happen to any of my stories, please let me know. thank you x.

—————————————

natasha still doesn’t know how to deal with it; being loved.

but every little obstacle she has ever faced in her life has been that she had to deal with it.

sometimes she’s still a bit astonished at the fact that she has an entire family who has her back, a sister who calls just to annoy her, a best friend who defends her, and you who she comes home to, to kiss and to love endlessly.

natasha thinks that in some sense she had always been in love with you. for the amount of time you’d know each other she thought it was so strange that it took so long for you to be together.

you were always there, in plain sight. then one day, the stars decided to align and you were there and she had finally seen the light.

so yes, natasha decides that you were the best thing she’s ever had to deal with. being in love with you? she will own up to it for as much as she can.

she has accepted the scary fact that she must let herself be known. she shall let you unravel her and climb inside her heart and choose to stay. she will deal with the consequences of it later, but she hopes not.

she carries a polaroid of you in her wallet as a reminder of this. it’s there when she opens it to pay for dinner with you, or groceries, or when she sees a bouquet of lillie’s she thinks you’d appreciate.

and when she comes home to your shared apartment you’re there in the kitchen cooking a meal for her.

‘my grandmas recipe. i know you loved them when she came to visit us.’ you say as you stir a pot on the stove. she lets out a laugh through her nose and comes up behind you for a hug.

‘i made it dairy free for you. i know you’re trying to cut that off a little.’ natasha’s heart swells even bigger.

when the food is ready and the table is set and you’ve put the lillie’s in a vase at the center of the table, you will sit together and eat. natasha will listen to you as you tell her about the dish.

how you cried chopping the onions and had to take a break in between, how much you thought about her liking this meal while you made it, and how you specifically only used red and orange peppers because you remember her telling you that ‘green is boring when it comes to vegetables’ and when you’re done with your rambling you’ll reach over the table and kiss her.

she’ll tell you she loves you and you tell her she has onion breath and you’ll both laugh and god being in love is such a beautiful thing.

but everyone has their bad days.

you usually enjoy the rainy weather but it’s that time of the month and it’s effecting your mood swings greatly. natasha offers to go out and buy your favorite snacks and a deli sandwich from the bodega two blocks down.

you decline her offer with a sad smile and hide yourself under the covers of your shared bed. natasha sighs, she knows you better than that. she knows how badly you want all those things but she also knows how much of an inconvenience you feel like when you get like this. she tries to let you know that she’s okay with going out in the rain to make you happier.

you don’t budge, instead you groan into the pillows and hide further into the sheets. ‘i just need to be alone for a while.’ you mutter, a bit annoyed.

with a new determined mindset she decides she’ll give you the space you need. she brushes off all comments you made and grabs her coat before quietly leaving out the front door.

the rain doesn’t bother her one bit. she makes it to the bodega in record timing and orders from the deli. your order leaves her mouth as if she were ordering for herself.

‘can i have teriyaki grilled chicken on a sourdough with three slices of mozzarella and honey mustard, some grilled onions on the side too, can you also toast the bread for about thirty seconds longer? please, thank you.’ she orders for herself and smiles at the man working the grill then sets off on finding your desired snacks.

she’s quick with it, easily acquiring the cucumber lime gatorade you love so much, a payday bar and baked hot cheetos. she pays at the front where her deli order waits and rushes home to you.

she checks her phone on the way only to find it with four missed calls from you. the worst comes to mind and she’s home within two minutes.

she finds you on the couch looking small, her heart drops when she spots the tears that stain your cheeks. ‘i thought you were upset after i told you i wanted space.’ you mumble out. natasha sighs and sets the stuff down. she takes careful steps towards you, afraid you might disappear if she does anything too quickly.

‘no..’ she grasps your cheeks, her thumb brushing along your cheekbones. ‘i just wanted to make you feel better.’ she kisses your forehead. ‘it wasn’t anything to do with me being upset.’

you look down almost in shame. you hate being so sensitive, it makes you worry even more and you feel like an even bigger bother when things like this happen. your mind gets way ahead of your heart and you let things bother you that you know shouldn’t.

natasha notices the wheels turning in your brain. she recognizes the mental battle you’re having with yourself. your shoulders slump a little, she knows you’re tired. you’re biting your lips to keep from saying anything.

‘hey..’ natasha whispers. her heart clenches a little. it’s such a silly thing, all this. the normal you wouldn’t have let anything get this far. she laughs a little at the fact. screw periods.

‘why are you laughing?’ you’re confused and your girlfriend is laughing at you. it makes her laugh a little more and you grow a little impatient.

natasha pulls you in closer. her arms enclose around your waist and her chin rests on your shoulder. ‘i love you, okay?’ she whispers it in your ear.

she hugs you tighter.

‘whatever you’re thinking right now is only half true.’ she tells you. you’re just as confused as ever and you’re about to ask her what she means but then she’s pulling away and grasping your cheeks in her hands.

‘i want to be inconvenienced by you.’ the look in her eyes is as soft as ever. her lips have a slight tremble to them. ‘please bother me, like all the time.’

‘you are the very notion of my existence. i want everything that i do to be for you.’ she says it with that raspy tone in her voice, you know she means everything she’s telling you.

you are putty in her hands at this point, she went out and ordered your favorite comfort meal in the pouring rain…after you told her not to. because she knows you. the intimacy of it all, she knows you and she chooses to stay after the stupid things that come out of being with you.

she notices the slight furrow of your eyebrows, you’re processing what she’s just told you. you never say anything, instead you pull her in and bury your nose into her shoulder. natasha hears your inhale and she holds you even tighter.

she smells like home. like the candle you love to leave on all day, the fabric softener you use to wash her clothes, that perfume you complimented her on your first date.

a silent understanding settles between you both.

you feel the absolute removal of any walls when around each other. you have seen sides of natasha not even her own best friend has seen, or her sister.

she makes the corniest jokes, you always laugh, sometimes snort and that makes you laugh even harder. when you’re having dinner it’s silent. but it’s a good silence. the silence is comfortable and she’s holding your hand while the other is holding her spoon and when either of you talk, it’s listening and you feel like the most heard person in the world.

it all feels so perfectly warm in the bubble you’ve created together. you feel so seperate from the rest of the world in the best ways possible. in the they don’t us like we know us kind of ways.

you pull away to look at her. your heart is cradled in her hands.

[thehottiesknoweren]

Keep that toxic ass love

“If that’s the way you love then i don’t want any of that shit”

Choso x reader

Tw: toxic relationship, breaking in and entering, smut (poorly written sorry), choso breaking shit/destroying stuff and overall needing therapy, mentions of pregnancy ( barely even there dw)

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was a regular Saturday for you.

Cleaning,

Cooking,

And fighting with choso.

You sighed as he kept blowing up your phone, he was cursing your out one minute and professing his love the next and honestly it was exhausting,

Last night you went to a party with your friend and posted you having fun on your story, drinking, smoking and just being a vibe.

You and Choso hadn’t been speaking to each other for at least a week, you guys were on a break, Or more like he was on a break and you were just done with his ass completely.

After viewing your story he spammed your phone with a bunch of nonsense which you didn’t reply to and simply just blocked him.

That was a mistake.

Ten minutes later he was at your house slashing your tires, and then he quickly drove away when he was done.

He then messaged you from a different number rambling again which you also blocked but that didn’t stop him.

No.

He just kept getting new numbers and you decided to feed into him a little because why wouldn’t you if he wasn’t going to leave you alone?

Choso: people who love each other don’t go out with other people while they’re just taking a break from the one they love.

Y/n: you used the wrong “they’re” it’s *their* 💀

Y/n: someone who loved you wouldn’t care about that yet I do doesn’t that tell you something goofy?

After sending that message you blocked his number again and put down your phone but who would’ve guessed this man got a new damn number.

“Text now need to take away his damn subscription or some shit damn” you yelled to yourself.

Choso: you don’t love me yet that’s all you could say when you were creaming on my dick huh? Lying ass bitch.

Y/n: never creamed on your dick. The orgasms you gave me were so weak they wouldn’t have been enough to cover the tip. All that dick yet you don’t know how to use that shit…. And how you love me but ima bitch? I see why your mother didn’t want your bipolar ass. Leave me alone don’t you got better things to do?

Y/n: And another thing, yes I don’t love you. That left last month when you thought it was okay to buss out my windows and made me cut up my thighs piece of shit. I wish you were swallowed.

Choso: I paid for the window and kissed every scar I left on your body. I didn’t mean for it to go that far, I just blacked out,

Choso: I know I’m acting crazy but I need you baby, I need my baby give me another chance I’ll get help I’ll make it right,

Y/n: Every time I do you hurt me. Do you know how much shit you’ve done to me? Choso I’ll probably never be with another man and I know that makes you happy but it shouldn’t, you’ve hurt me so bad, physically, emotionally and verbally I can’t even want a relationship. Just stop coming around I don’t need you.

He stopped texting you after this and you went to go lay down in your bedroom, sobbing in the process.

You knew deep down you loved him and wanted to be with him, he’s all you knew.

He’s the first person to explore your body and teach you what feeling good in bed meant, he was the first person to take you on dates, shopping sprees and wouldn’t let you lift a finger when you didn’t feel good, he always took care of you, did you lie earlier to hurt his ego? Yes but you had to.

Because he was also the person who slut shamed you, insulted you, broke into your house, broke everything you owned, just a few weeks ago he cut up most of your clothes that he didn’t like and burnt them, he also never knew when he was wrong and would blow the smallest thing out of proportion when you proved him wrong saying you were ungrateful.

And do you know how he solved all of this?

Sex and shopping spree’s

but to be honest you were pretty sure the sex was for him. He would destroy your health in every possible way and then he would only opt to take you shopping and then after that he would get you into the bedroom and fuck you until you were crying his name and spewing affirmations of love.

And you couldn’t take that anymore. Everyone told you that you deserved more than a man who only offered you sex and money, and although you didn’t really believe them and wanted to be with Choso you noticed that being around him only hurt you

As you were deep in thought you weren’t aware that your breathing was heavy and you were sobbing, you were having a panic attack.

The bed sunk down and a pair of hands wrapped around your stomach, you knew exactly who it was

“it’s okay” he whispered in your ear trying to calm you down.

“Choso I can’t do this with you anymore” you said. Your breathing got a little calmer, “I-I’ve been going to therapy and-“

He cut you off, “you know how I feel about that shit, why would you go?” he was getting mad so you got up out of the bed,

“That’s why. Look at the way you act” you said, also getting a bit mad and confused because he just said he would go to be with you but at last it was probably another meaningless lie spewing from his lips.

“I’m sorry that I act that way but it’s because I love you, I get mad because I love you and don’t want to lose you, it’s like when I see you doing things I don’t like I get angry and black out because I’m scared of losing you but I’m not realizing the things I do are causing me to lose you” he got up and tried to hold your waist but you pulled away.

“If that’s the way you love then i don’t want any of that shit” you looked him dead in the face letting him know you meant what you said, “if your love is you hurting me any time we argue then keep it choso” you broke eye contact because you could feel yourself starting to cry.

You felt him wrap his arms around you but you didn’t stop him, he begin to place kisses on your forehead while holding you in his arms, “I’m sorry baby, please don’t cry my love” you could hear him sniffing and looked into his eyes to see tears there too,

Suddenly he picked you up and laid you on the bed quickly getting on top of you and laying down. He kissed your chin and kept saying how sorry he was while keeping his arms wrapped around your body.

You didn’t respond but you didn’t stop him and after a while you two just laid there in silence, not a word from either of you until he decided to speak again, “I’d do anything for moments like this, moments I get to hold you” he started kissing your neck,

“Choso we can’t keep doing this, if you say you’re gonna change than do it. I can’t wait for you much longer”

He stopped kissing your neck and looked at you with a smile, he knew you were giving him a second chance, “I will baby I promise.” He kissed you passionately amd you couldn’t help but be happy,

His kiss begin to go lower and he slowly made his way back to your neck, he took his time sucking on every area his lips touched,

And his lips kept getting lower and lower until he made it to the end of the bed, he was quick to take off the skimpy satin nightgown you had on, underneath it was just you in panties no bra,

He quickly stood up and started to take off his belt and as soon as he was done he wasted no time taking off your panties and spreading your pretty legs,

He dragged one of his fingers through your folds picking up some of your juices and making you moan and arch your back in the process he put his finger in his mouth. “Just how I like it. Good girl” he said positioning his head in between your legs.

He quickly put his tongue to work and showed your touch deprived pussy just what it missed.

You never touched yourself when you and Choso were arguing, because you knew he would be right back. You felt as though only letting him touch you made you crave him more and although you would never admit it to him you never saw yourself giving up on him and not touching yourself was basically a guarantee that you wouldn’t lose fillings.

Choso on the other hand would touch himself to the thought of you everyday or sometimes just the control he had on you, he would think about how he was the only person to ever have you and only person you ever allowed to touch you. Shit like that turned him on.

Your legs started to shake intensely as he ate you out and just as you were about to cum he stopped,

He got off his knees and stood right in front of you, he put his body in between your legs and aligned his cock with your entrance, “you ready?” He looked at you but you only gave him a moan in response.

As he entered you, he could here the wet sound pussy made and that was music to his ears only making him speed up his pace to hear it more

“Fuck” he said under his breath,

You were a moaning mess for this man

He felt himself get closer to his orgasm so he came closer to your face and placed kisses all over it, you wrapped your arms around his neck as he continued to thrust inside you,

Soon you could feel him leaking inside you making you arch your back, you knew he was trying to hold his orgasm so that you could cum with him because his thrust were sloppy but firm enough so that you could feel good.

As soon as he felt your nails dig into his back he knew you were cumming.

As you painted his cock he painted your insides, “I love you” he kisses you one more time before exiting your pussy,

You could feel him getting off the bed and then you saw him entering the bathroom, you heard running water and was about to doze off but Choso came and picked you up bridal style.

He made sure you peed and cleaned you both up, “you made a mess in the bed now I have to change the sheets” he chuckled while you sat in your vanity chair wrapped in a towel, you watched him change the sheets and take the other ones to the washing machine. You couldn’t help but smile at him, he was so cute.

He came back into the room this time he didn’t have that same cute look though, he seemed mad and as he looked directly at me I couldn’t help but wonder why,

“What the fuck is this?” He held up something pink and white and as I looked closely I saw it was a test.

The test.

[piedpiperart]

Phantom of Gotham 12

Chapter 11

“So… you’re not going to ask… questions?” 

Damian raised a brow, looking towards where Danny was huddled up on one end of the couch, looking warily at his hot chocolate instead of meeting Damian’s eyes. The teenager was dressed in pajamas like Damian was, because their other clothes and winter gear were more water than clothes. Alfred had ushered them in for a warm drink in front of the fireplace while he set up the dining room. 

Realizing what Danny was talking about made Damian scoff and set his cocoa down on the table in front of him. “I will not pry into your business, nor your powerset,”Damian said, and Danny’s wide, hopeful yet wary eyes met steady green ones. “I understand how much trust you put in me to share a part of you that you no doubt have had to hide. Even if I am curious, I will not pry into your secrets. I am just glad that you told me,”Damian added. Given that, he made no promises that the other bats wouldn’t be prying into his life, as he was sure of from the info Tim sent him that morning. 

Danny slumped with relief. “Thanks,”He breathed. “I’m… I’ve had… bad experiences with people finding out about my…powers. So, thank you.”

Damian nodded, then tilted his head curiously. He’d respect Danny’s boundaries, but he did have one question. “Why tell me?”

Danny smiled. “You remind me of my sister. My younger sister.”Danny clarified. Damian was perplexed, considering he knew Danny had no younger siblings, but kept his confusion off his face. The boy could be talking about a close friend, he reasoned. “I guess I just felt a bit homesick? She used to play with Cujo and I in the snow when she visited in winter. I just… I felt like you’d understand.”

Damian nodded, turning to his hot chocolate to avoid how Danny’s words made him feel warm inside. He hoped his ears didn’t turn red, but given Danny’s infuriatingly soft smile, it was likely. He cursed at his weakness, but found he didn’t mind since Danny had trusted him the most out of all the bats. Thankfully, Damian was saved from embarrassment by Alfred coming to collect them for dinner. 

The two boys followed Alfred to the table, passing by some ornate decorations and shelves with what Danny thought might be tea sets. Danny was focused on following Damian so much that he nearly missed the looming figure at the head of the table. 

“Father,”Damian greeted, and Danny froze. Looking towards the mountain of a man, he saw an intimidating blue gaze and sharp jawline, wearing fancy business clothes. This was Mr. Wayne. Danny was staying in his house and he didn’t even know if Mr. Wayne knew. Would the man be angry, Danny worried. He’d be fine if the man kicked him out, he was planing on leaving as soon as he could anyways, but if Mr. Wayne called the police then they’d call CPS or he’d have to-

“Damian,”Mr. Wayne greeted his son before turning to Danny. “And you must be Daniel.”

“Danny,”Danny corrected, mostly out of reflex. Being called Daniel gave him flashbacks to the Fruitloop. He hoped Mr. Wayne was not a billionaire like Vlad, even if the man had a bunch of eerily similar kids that may or may not remind Danny of himself and his clones. “Um,”Danny continued, nervously running his hand by the back of his neck,”Thanks for letting me stay here a few days. I’ll be leaving soon though, so uh,”Danny rambled until Mr. Wayne cut him off. 

“Nonsense, I hear the kids are happy to have you,”Mr. Wayne smiled reassuringly. Danny relaxed a bit, seeing that the smile was not fruitloopy at all. “Have a seat. The others should be here in a bit, have you met everyone yet?”

Danny sat down next to Damian on the side opposite to Bruce. “Um, I met Tim, Damian, and Jason,” Danny recalled. 

“And Steph,”Tim interjected from where he appeared from the hallway. He carried a steaming cup of coffee and somehow looked more tired than before lunch. “We have classes together.”

“Really? What’s your favorite subject Danny?” Bruce asked, turning the conversation back on him, much to his displeasure. 

“Uh, I like astrology?” Danny offered, relieved when Tim sat down on his other side. He had a sudden urge to push Tim’s coffee cup from where it was precariously set on the table, but he reigned it in. 

“He’s great at engineering and chemistry,”Tim added. “Wants to work with Nasa one day.”

“Oh, are you interested in being an astronaut?” Bruce asked, intrigued. Danny on the other hand did not like the attention, and resisted the urge to turn invisible or kick Tim in the shin. 

“I uh, I used to,”Danny nodded, tracing the wood patterns on the table with his fingers. 

“Used to what?” A new voice piped up, and Danny looked over to see another black haired blue eyed man. This one looked taller than Tim, but not as bulky as Jason. “Whos this? New sibling?”

Damian scoffed. “No, this is Danny Folson. Red Hood dropped him off before the storm because Danny thought he could survive it with the bare minimum attire in an abandoned building.”

Oh, well, nice to meet you Danny,”The man waved, sitting down on Bruce’s other side. “You can call me Dick.”

Danny would have said something about the name if he wasn’t so nervous at being the center of attention. “Nice to meet you? Are there any more people that live here?” Danny asked, directing his question to Tim, who shrugged. 

“Just Jason,”Dick said. “But everyone kinda comes and goes.”

“Speaking of Jason,”Bruce began, “Is he not coming for dinner?” 

Dick shook his head with a frown,”Something came up.” Burce frowned, and Danny looked back and forth between the two as they had some kind of secret conversation. 

From there, dinner was pretty calm. Alfred came and brought lasagna with breen beans and other assorted vegetables and sides Danny didn’t know the names of. Danny talked with Dick and Tim a lot, with Damian interjecting occasionally. Bruce seemed the quiet type, and to be honest that was fine with Danny. Vlad would have demanded everyone’s attention and spent the whole hour bragging about his accomplishments and complaining about how he could never buy the Packers. It was nice. 

Until Bruce started talking again. “So Danny, what are your plans for after the blizzard?” He asked, making Danny wince. He could see it was just a polite way of asking how long you’re staying. “I have a place to stay,”Danny piped up. Tim and Damian both frowned. 

“You do?”Tim asked, turning to look at him. 

“Is it the same abandoned building you were in before?” Damian raised a brow. Danny had the urge to kick both of them. 

“Uh. Yeah but there isn’t really anything wrong with it, and theres other places around  can go to. I don’t want to be a bother for you, honest, and the weather’s already been letting up,”Danny argued. Most everyone at the table frowned. 

“You’re not a bother, and we have plenty of space here,”Dick countered. “You don’t need to leave.” Nope. Nope, Danny was not doing that. He didn’t need to be adopted or anything, and even i that was something he wanted they’d have to get paperwork and got through CPS and he might have his fake ID discovered, and he didn’t think that was a good idea at all. On top of that, in case the GIW actually discovered his whereabouts, the Waynes would be safer without him there. “I appreciate the offer, but I’m fine on my own. I’d rather not make it into a big deal,”Danny said firmly. 

“We don’t need to get CPS involved, if that’s what you’re worried about,”Bruce started, and Danny was starting to panic. Would they call the police if he ran? Maybe he could sneak out as soon as dinner was over and skip town. If anyone found him that would make the GIW’s job so much easier. Then they’d know where he ended up and come after them. 

“Perhaps its best to discuss this another time,”Alfred cut in, and Danny sighed with relief. Bruce frowned, but conceded. 

“So Danny, who’s your favorite hero?”Dick grinned. Surprising those at the table, Danny lit up. 

“Marian manhunter,”Danny blurts immediately. “He’s from space! And a whole other planet, like man we don’t even know much about martian technology and he’s basically become a diplomat between a lot of aliens and planets to earth. I mean Superman is cool and all but he isn’t really as much of an advocate for aliens like Manhunter-” Danny rambled. Those at the table were pleasantly surprised at Danny’s enthusiasm over J’ohn. Even Bruce had a rare smile. 

“What of the heroes of Gotham?” Damian countered. And to his ire, Danny brushed them off as not cool since they weren’t from space. This delved into an argument until Dick stepped in. The tension at the table lightened more as Dick told stories about his siblings, forgetting Bruce’s insensitive interrogation minutes before. Most were embarrassing, or prank wars which Danny found funny. It reminded him of his sister and Ellie. He told them an edited version of a time Ellie, him, Sam, and Tucker had a prank war that ended with the town mayor covered in soup. Which was the time they were fighting Vlad and the thermos had been swapped for an actual thermos filled with soup. 

“You have siblings?” Dick asked. 

“Yeah! My older sister is Jazz. She basically raised me and she’s studying to be a psychologist. She basically uses my issues as practice for her,”Danny grumbled. “And Ellie is my younger sister. She’s about Damian’s age and kind of a nuisance, but she’s adorable. She likes to travel.” 

“And theyre… not in Gotham?” Dick asked, and Danny pursed his lips in contemplation. 

“I… don’t want to talk about it,”Danny said eventually, but started on another story about the time Elie met Cujo as a distraction. That led to the topic of pets and Titus, and eventually dinner was over. 

Before Danny could excuse himself however, Bruce caught his eye. “You’re more than welcome to stay here Danny. If there’s any way we can help you, don’t hesitate to ask,”Bruce said. Danny looked down at his feet and nodded, knowing he would definitely not do that. 

However nice it was meeting Bruce and Dick, Danny was worn out. Both physically and metally he felt tired, and for him that was rare. He figured he’d be able to at least get a good sleep tonight, for however many hours he could. Usually, Danny could tell when he was going to be able to sleep. He’d actually feel tired, and if he tried to push it more he’d pass out in a few hours. Despite the tired feeling, he could never really sleep for more than four to six hours. He figured Jazz might have a field day tracking and predicting his weird sleep schedule. Danny probably would have an easier time with it if he could figure out the pattern, but he had had more pressing things to think about. 

He meandered himself back to his room, and plopped down onto his comforter. Danny missed the feeling of sleep. It was strange to get used to sleeping 4/24 hours every day, especially when he had nothing else to do to pass the time at night. He’d already read a bunch and did his homework when he wasn’t flying around as Phantom. Maybe he’d go out later tonight as Phantom when he woke up, he thought. 

Chapter 13

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

My thoughts on being in love vs romantic feelings.

The phrase “in love” can be connected to a bunch of things, often seen as romantic but also like when people get really excited over something beautiful or adorable, for example people “falling in love” with a cute baby, a cute animal, a beautiful sunset or moon or mountain or whatever.

Anyways in regards to falling in love with a person, it does not have to equal romantic feelings. It can sometimes, but not always.

This is what “being in love” with a person feels like to me, it’s this happy, contented, peaceful, at-home feeling I have with someone and knowing that there’s the unconditional love and support between us. Is it romantic? Not for me. For me, romance and “being in love” are two completely different things. They can overlap, but they don’t always.

What bugs me tho is that when you say you’re in love with a person, people assume it’s romantic. Not necessarily! If I say I’m in love with a full moon, are you assuming I’m romantically attracted to the moon? Like if you can be in love with things other than people and it’s not romantic then, why does it have to be romantic when you’re in love with a person?

~wolfyboi

(I feel like I’m kinda rambling and just saying nonsense so in my defense it’s 2am as I’m typing this lol)

Very much, agreed! I feel like saying that being 'in love' can only be about romance is so limiting, love is so much more than romance, and so are ways to be in love.

Thanks for sharing!

[gifti3]

Arranged marriage au with asmo

I need asmo to be in some type of royal otome slowburn manhwa

ramblings ramblings

the drama guys....the DRAMA! dont tell me a bunch of nonsense wouldnt happen

remember the post where i was like indifferent/passive aggressive asmo becoming curious about the MC fics are peak

similar thing is happening here! honestly i think theres some resentment coming from asmos side at first but mc is like ay....you do ur thing and i do mine

im not gonna make u do anything u dont want, i dont have any expectations from this arrangement. lets just try not to make each of our lives hell u know

lol i bet when asmo first meets MC after finding out that hes supposed to marry them he's like thinking "......ig theyre not that bad looking"😒 (he literally would have been flirting with them in any other circumstance)

hmmm mc needs to be apart of a pretty influential family i think since this is gonna be a political type marriage

and asmo,,,,i feel like he doesnt really engage in the specifics when it comes to politics or anything. it's just not something thats important to him. he has his side hobbies and business endeavors that cares about. But topics outside of those things are left up to his family

so perhaps one day, the head of the family (i wanna say lucifer but since i want the person in this role to give off more a mysterious vibe, where his word is final michael might be a better choice) is like... this specific family...theyre kinda important and we want them on our side so get married to their eldest who has rejected every other person ever but has agreed to marry and since u dont do much when it comes to political affairs im gonna have you do this whether you want to or not

and asmo is just like....HUH he tries to get lucifer to help him out here but lucifers like...yea dads not budging sorry lil bro (he doesnt say it like that but similar sentiment lmao)

now mc never really wanted to get married cause they didnt wanna have to go through the motions against their will and they like their life as is but their parents have been breathing down their neck about marriage for years now. And now that this BIG opportunity has present itself to their parents, it feels like the pressure is really on now! at first mc is like shit...idk if i can weasel my way outta this one

and then......they realized that maybe this could probably work out in their favor actually.....

mc agreed to married him cause asmo has a bit of a reputation as a partier and a playboy

with asmo they feel like things can stay as they are for the most part if they let him continue to do as he pleases (not like they could have stopped him if they wanted to lol)

everything can be the same, they can still live their own separate lives, just now they have the title of spouses!

and thats the plan, like i said before asmo comes in being a bit rude at first but it kinda changes to indifference and a little passive aggressiveness once MC is like...yo chill im not gonna shit on ur parade. i just wanna be left to my own things. you do you sir

yes thats the plan...thats supposed to be the plan and it was going as mc expected for a good while

but as we know if u put something or someone in front of asmo enough times hes gonna get curious

[the-lark-ascending69]

You mentioned that you love fics where Robin gets Vecna’d (relatable as fuck lol) and holy hell she would have been #1 on Vecna’s list if she hadn’t found Steve’s love and friendship and support in season 3. This of course made me think of an au where Robin does get Vecna’d in season 4 because somehow she and Steve never become friends, and she’s still stuck in that self-loathing, lonely place. Maybe she somehow doesn’t get involved with the Upside Down in season 3, which would be hard to make work with how essential to the plot she was.

Of course there is the terrible, horrible, heartbreaking option of Robin getting involved and everything going the same, except in this terrible horrible universe, Steve dies. Maybe they’re both under Starcourt in the Russian base, and Steve’s beat to hell and tied to Robin’s back and she feels his breathing get slower and slower until it’s just gone. Dustin and Erica save her, but it’s awful because Robin can’t save the closest person she’s had to a friend in so long after all he did to protect her and they’re forced to leave his body there, cold and alone in enemy territory. Or it happens after they get out, after Robin tells him her deepest secret and he still loves her, differently than he did before, but just as much. Robin would be so happy to finally have someone who knows her fully and loves her for it, only to have it ripped away when the Flesh Flayer makes one wrong swipe that catches Steve in just the wrong way, or even after the battle, when they all think they’re safe and it’s finally over until Steve collapses from an internal injury that nobody had caught.

I really can’t decide which possibility would be worse, Robin mourning the boy who somehow became her best friend before he ever truly knew her, thinking that if Steve had known her fully, he would’ve hated her anyways (Robin’s wrong about this of course) or Robin’s devastation over the first person to love and accept her for who she is being ripped away from her so violently and so soon.

Either way she would be a perfect target for Vecna 8 months later, when she’s dealing with not just the same loneliness and self-loathing from before, but also the guilt of not being able to protect her best friend and the feeling that it should’ve been her why couldn’t it have been her instead and of course the trauma of the entire almost-week of fighting Russians and monsters.

Anyways sorry for rambling and dumping this all in your ask box lol 😅

No no don't apologize for the rambling you're so real thank you for dumping this all in my ask box 😭😭 waking up to this is the perfect way to start my day

I LOVE both options, but the first one is especially heart-wrenching because we know Vecna specifically preys on guilt and self-loathing, and maybe I've been a little too obsessed with the Rebel Robin Podcast but hearing little 15yo Robin say the universe is telling her she's not supposed to have friends, that she always needs to "camouflage" to survive, that there's something wrong with her, that she's rotten inside (it sheds a whole new light on "i feel like my life has been one big error") has me thinking about Robin being a bit confused, a bit worried but also a bit excited hearing Steve say he should have been hanging out with her a long time ago, even though he probably means it in a way she doesn't fully like, but also maybe not, and maybe after all of this they could be friends! And maybe she won't be alone anymore. Maybe one day she could even tell him her secret.

But then he's beaten so badly. He receives some really bad blows in the head, and she can tell he's taunting the guards whenever they speak to her, drawing their attention back to him, telling them she doesn't know anything, letting them hurt him so they won't hurt her and maybe they believe him, so when Robin tries to talk and starts rambling and saying a bunch of nonsense, because she's too nervous and scared to say anything coherent, they gag her and now she can do nothing but scream and cry into the gag as they continue to beat him while he's tied up behind her, feeling the impact on her chair and on her back.

He's still concious when they leave. He's speaking to her, saying he wishes he'd known her earlier and all Robin can think is no, no, no you don't. And she tries to speak but it only makes her feel like she's choking on the gag, and then his speech starts slurring, and she freaks out because she read about this. He's having a brain bleed. Next, he'll be paralized in one side of his body, next he's having seizures that shake both chairs and has Robin sobbing as she tries to cry out his name. By the time it stops, he won't respond to her, and his breathing slowly comes to a stop, body sagging in its bindings.

Robin stays tied to his corpse for hours and hours, feeling the warmth leave his body, the horrible smell, not daring to turn around to see him. She almost had a friend and he died to protect her. He died because of her. She killed him. If only she'd said something smarter - if only she hadn't freaked out - if maybe she'd thought or something to make the soldiers leave them alone, if she could tell a good lie, if she could defend him the way he defended her, he'd still be alive.

The soldiers come back to rip the gag out of her mouth, now wet and disgusting, and as she sobs and tries to tell them Steve needs help, they inject her with drugs and leave her alone for them to take effect. And now she's laughing hysterically and talking to Steve as if he were still there. She's sobbing, heaving, giggling all at the same time. She feels like she's losing her sanity. She tells them everything when the guards come back, and keeps laughing when Dustin and Erica save her. She laughs when she tells them Steve is dead. This is probably the most traumatic moment in the kids' life, but Dustin manages to keep a level head and not break down until they're safe, and he decides to leave Steve's body there so they can save Robin (if Robin had died instead they could have saved Steve). She's almost catatonic by the time they leave her in the movie theater, giggling under her breath whenever she remembers Steve. Then she goes to the bathroom to thrown up, and with the drugs mostly out of her system, she completely breaks down. This is all her fault. She really, really just... ruins everything.

She's half there, half gone until the end of the battle of starcourt, uselessly following Dustin around. She barely responds to the paramedics when they talk to her (when they perform drug tests on her in the hospital, they think she's a junkie), but Dustin stays by her side as much as he can, both comforting her and seeking comfort.

They take everyone to the hospital in different ambulances, so Dustin leaves at one point. She's one of the last ones to leave, because the police wants to question her on Steve's death. The official story was that he died from asphyxia during the fire, and she was the last one who saw him alive. It's the best lie she can come up with, and she feels so gross telling it.

When she's about to be taken to the hospital, to her surprise, Nancy Wheeler comes to check on her, with black tears running down her face, but with a strong posture and a clear voice when she tells Robin she heard she was the last one to see Steve. She thanks her. She thanks her, even though Robin was the one to kill him. She wants to know if she's hurt and if she needs anything, and tells her she's there if she needs anything.

Then at the hospital, after her parents come to see her, freaking out and holding her so tight she can barely breathe, Steve's parents visit. They're barely holding back tears when they thank her for not letting their son die alone, and tell her they'll be there for anything she needs, and Robin has never hated herself as much as she did then. She hates that Dustin and his friends come see her. She hates that Dustin's fucking mom thanks her. Everything is fucking thanking her as if she did something good or brave when all she did was let the one person who could have maybe loved her die. She hates that during the course of the next 8 months, Dustin takes her with him on dinners with the Harringtons as if she were Steve's fucking girlfriend. She hates that he shows up to her house after seeing her looking sad at school to ask how she's doing. She hates that Nancy Wheeler does the same, and hates it when her parents invite her for dinner because she's "another one of Steve's friends". She hates that even 11 year old Erica comes check on her during school lunch if she hears she had another panic attack. She hates it all. She hates herself. She hates that they don't hate her. She hates the nightmares and the flashbasks and the fact she can't talk to anyone about what truly happened. She could talk to Nancy, she guesses, but then Nancy will look at her with sympathy instead of disgust and Robin doesn't think she could take that.

She takes up a job at Family Video. She sees these people who suddenly care for her for all the wrong reasons a few times a week, when they come rent their nerdy movies. She has no one but Keith to talk to, and he isn't great company. At one point Dustin and Max show up asking her to lend them phones and help them find some dude with dubious links to some Eddie boy and then she gets inevitably dragged along into their new quest, fully aware that it should be Steve instead of her.

She doesn't tell them when she sees a clock in the woods, and Steve Harrington stands in front of her, half of his body paralized, nose bleeding, asking why she left him there. Telling her she'd been right all along: there was something rotten inside of her.

[inspirationalstarlet]

Welcome ! The ask blog is open !

This blog is probably going to be more chaotic and less polished than the others haha

Welcome to Muse's corner of the multiverse ! The goddess of inspiration is dying to chat with people and perhaps help them get inspired !

Encouragements, references, art advice, ideas, you can find plenty here, just ask !

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This blog is kinda an excuse for me to give art advices, ngl, or help with references. Feel free to ask about art, or Muse (because this silly does have lore), or even show me your art (for encouragements or constructive criticisms)

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Read the rules !

• I will keep this blog as swf as I possibly can, but note that there might be subjects like nude drawings and anatomy (that I will censor although it's technically non sexual) and I may talk about sensitive topics if it's for advices. Viewer'd discretion is advised !

• Anything akin to hate speech of any kind will be deleted and blocked. Racisms, antisemitism, islamophobia, homophobia of any kind, etc, none of that is okay and I won't hesitated to block

• Muse can interact with any multiverse, but I will prioritise Welcome Home !

• Muse is new to this world, so she doesn't know many people yet ! Don't ask her if she knows x and y, directly introduce her to them !

• I will give criticism ONLY if specifically asked. Be warned that I will speak my mind in those cases, as much as I try to also give compliments, it might not always be what you want to hear.

• Note also that I speak as an art student myself, hence I don't know everything ! Feel free to give your own tutorials and advices or references to share !

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Last note, thanks for staying around for all my nonsense

I hope you'll have fun or at least will discover a bunch of things as me and Muse ramble about art and inspiring things

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"I can't wait to talk to you, new friend !"

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[tothepointofinsanity]

hey #1 sayaka fan (appointed by me) . how do you come up with your compositions and stuff?? like the colors u use and just generally how ur drawings are layed out, do you have any inspiration or is it just from your brain? absolutely love them ‼️‼️‼️

Oh, hello. ^^ Firstly, thank you for graciously giving me the title of the "number 1 Sayaka fan". I can think of a few people who like her way more than me, though! Anyways. You have provided me an unfortunate opportunity to ramble incoherently about my main inspirations.

Aside from acknowledging that Gekidan Inu Curry is a titular player of how my madomagi works turn out, I very much like video games a lot, specifically the abstract, no-explanation-walking-task-simulator types. Visuals and music combined can help create an otherworldly ambience unlike any other, even more so appealing if the graphics are striking, colourful, and personalised. They sort of resemble liminal spaces, and I want those vibes in my works. It's hard to directly translate them into my own drawings.

Dull colours are very effective at being gloomy, but since I'm not good at mixing them together, I often end up sticking to bright ones instead. Whenever I draw Sayaka, I also like to imagine that I'm drawing her in a world where she is the only inhabitant wandering around in it, so that's the 'composition' part. Everything in her world is lonely and vast but ambiguous in a way that feels unintentionally hostile. Music can also affect this. Did you know loneliness can be heard too?

I mentally revisit the colours and visuals of games I have previously played and kind of rotate Sayaka around in them and see what clicks for her that day. I also like putting a bunch of 'boxes' in my drawings of her, which are panels that show something happening elsewhere entirely - they are the way they are since I struggle to blend two different scenarios of Elsewhere in the same drawing. It's meant to resemble the weird, clunky interfaces of the games I like, essentially making it a drawing with interactive mechanics that don't exist.

It is also fun to try and put as much nonsense into her surroundings as possible. Because why shouldn't you give her a bunch of different irrelevant things to look at. Most of the time, though, my backgrounds are fairly empty, since I want Sayaka to be within the frame of focus, and the only thing for others to look at. Having spontaneous close-up shots of the character's face and experimenting with that also yields interesting results. < That's a lot of words to pretend I know what I'm doing.

I do take inspiration from other artists' works as well, but I'm too reluctant/awkward to post their drawings here or mention them. There is probably a lot more that I am forgetting to mention, but this is all I can compose for now. I hope it has been satisfactory. Thank you for the ask!