#i had 2 days left and i had done most of the required reading!

[nanamiscocksleeve]

Natural Breeding Clinic: Patient 1

warnings: MDNI, breeding kinks, use of pet names, piv sex, medical kink, clitoral fingering, nipple play, slight oral (male receiving)

a/n: Here it is. Enjoy ya filthy sluts (said with love). Join the taglist here! Edit: Thank you tumblr for flagging this even though there was nothing wrong with it! guys let me know if there's an issue or you can't read it.

Prologue - Patient 1 - Patient 2

You’re seated awkwardly on the edge of the examination table, trying not to fidget with your hair. Your insides feel like they’ve been tied into knots and your blood won’t stop growing hot in your veins, rushing through your ears so loudly that you feel like you might’ve been at the ocean. After years of trying and failing to find the perfect man, you’d finally given up, content to live as a single woman. But there was one unfulfilled desire you harbored that unfortunately required a member of the opposite sex; a child. After numerous inquiries and health examinations, you finally stumbled across the Jujutsu Fertility Clinic and decided that you might as well experience the entire process of a natural pregnancy.

Your heart is already beating faster than normal, something that Shoko, the kind nurse who had done your vitals, took note of before giving your hand a reassuring pat. “It’s very typical to have a slightly elevated heart rate. It’s all the anticipation. But if you feel like you’re having a panic attack, please don’t hesitate to push your call button. Your doctor will be in soon to start your session.” 

Shoko had cheerfully left the room and now you couldn’t help but feel like a horndog, imagining all the different scenarios that might play out today. You were certain you had picked the right doctor. He came off as well-spoken and kind as he’d shared details about himself while also listening to your side of things, taking note of the intimate snippets you told him as though you were discussing the weather that day.

Breathtakingly handsome and highly educated, you knew you wanted him to be the one who would father your child. Each tele-visit had left your panties drenched and you and your Hitachi wand had become better friends recently, locking yourself in your bedroom once the visit was over to run the rounded head of the toy against your needy clit, imagining the day your breeding session would be booked and you’d feel your doctor in the flesh, fantasizing what his cock would look like and how it would fill your cunt as he put a baby into you. 

Now the day was finally here. Shoko’s instructions had said to wear whatever made you feel attractive, so here you were, dressed in a demure wine-colored dress that accentuated your boobs, with little bits of cream-colored lace lingerie underneath. You were starting to question your choice of undergarments now, knowing that you were probably already wet, a telltale patch of moisture surely present on the crotch of your panties. What would your doctor think? Or perhaps he was used to this? After all, you couldn’t have been his only patient who got turned on at the prospect of sleeping with him. 

Just when the pulsations between your legs start becoming unbearable there’s a knock at the door and your heart skips a beat as you hear your name being called before your doctor enters the room. Tall, with perfect teeth, snowy locks, and aquamarine eyes, he looks at you and gives you a casual smile. The pictures paled in comparison to how personable he looked in real life. He extends a large hand with beautifully long, masculine fingers towards you, and you place your palm on it, feeling the warmth seep into your slightly clammy hands. He presses a kiss to the back of your hand before speaking.

“I’m Dr. Satoru Gojo. It’s very nice to meet you at last. Now, I know that most patients are anxious to start the insemination process right away, however, there are a few more verbal formalities we need to get out of the way before we can actually begin. This portion does need to be recorded, as I’m sure Shoko would have mentioned to you when she set up the camera.” He points towards a small camera and you nod, remembering what the dark brunette nurse had told you. 

“I can also promise you that your insemination process will not be recorded in any way. We won’t even be in the examination room as it happens. There have been a few rare instances where the patient wanted to be recorded but it was part of their sexual profile.”

He grabs the clipboard on the desk and gives you a reassuring smile. You, on the other hand, are trying not to salivate all over the floor like a rabid animal, your appetite even more whetted after his appearance in the room. 

“To confirm once more, you, F/n L/n, are giving me, Dr. Satoru Gojo, permission to breed you, and were not manipulated or coerced in any manner into making this decision, correct?”

Practicing restraint, you look at the camera. “Yes.”

“You have undergone all the necessary testing as well as physicals needed to assess your body’s condition to carry a baby and were given all the information before you chose to move forward and meet with me correct?”

“Yes.”

“You and I extensively discussed turn-ons, turn-offs, use of toys, and preferences for positions, as well as spoke about kinks in an effort to better understand how your breeding needs can be met. After these discussions were done, we mutually agreed to move forward and set up this insemination, correct?”

You lick your lips and try not to appear too eager. “Yes.”

“Perfect.” Satoru moves over to turn off the camera. “Let’s move to a more comfortable spot shall we?” He offers his hand again and you take it before hopping off the table, letting him lead you out of the room and down the hallway where he stops in front of a different door and starts punching in a code. It swings open and he gestures for you to enter. Your eyes widen as you step inside. It has the look of a posh hotel room, with a large king-sized bed set in the middle. Low-lit lamps made for romantic lighting were scattered across the room as Satoru follows you and the door locks closed behind you with a click.

Your breath catches in your throat as you feel him right behind you, then wraps his arms around you, drawing you against his well-toned chest. “You’re so tense sweetheart. Don’t worry.” He presses a kiss on top of your head. “Just focus on enjoying the process. We’re going to repeat it after all, until your womb quickens with my seed, growing the thing you want the most.” His voice is a deep, sensual purr in your ear, said so gently yet carrying such a dirty undertone that it sent a jolt of pleasure straight into your clit. 

“You said you like cuddling prior to your sexual escapades. Shall we?” He glances over at the large bed and you swallow, nodding. 

“Yes, Doctor.”

“Please. We’re going to get quite intimately acquainted now. Call me Satoru. Trust me it helps.” Licking your lips, you take his lead and he guides you to the bed, laying you down gently on the pillows before settling behind you, your back pressed to his chest, his long legs brushing against yours, causing every nerve in your body to be on high alert. 

Though you had said you enjoyed cuddling which led to foreplay, your body was already sensitized from the knowledge that a sexual encounter was going to happen and you weren’t quite in the mood for cuddling. Still, you allowed yourself to be wrapped up in his arms, inhaling his scent, a kind of fresh, watery musk, and feeling his breath on your ear. His hands entwined with yours, gently flexing your fingers with his in the spaces in between, nuzzling the crook of your neck, making you feel like you were about to spontaneously combust. One of his hands leaves yours and begins to wander down your collarbone, delicately stroking, before dipping lower, tracing the neckline of your dress down to the swell of your breasts, letting his fingertips drag teasingly over an already hard nipple before resting on your belly, playing with the soft squish of it, feeling the way your body reacted to his touch. 

Rushes of heat keep darting under your skin, and far too soon, your rounded ass starts to arch back, grinding shamelessly into his thighs, stifling a wanton noise when you feel hardness pressing back against you. A low chuckle, punctuated by a soft nibble on your ear. Unsure, you pause, wondering if you’d somehow done something funny.

“It’s perfectly normal to feel like you need to bring some movement in response to being touched.” Satoru’s hand comes back to stroke your breast over your dress, the light petting sending little erotic skitters along your skin.  “Don’t fight it,” he says reassuringly, then slides his hand onto your hip and pulls you against him, subtly thrusting into your plump rear. “Just do whatever you’d normally do.”

A sigh of longing leaves your throat and you start to rousingly roll your hips against Satoru’s erection, feeling a spike in your confidence as he lets out a soft groan. “There you go, sweetheart. Take what you need.”

Fuelled by his encouragement, you roll over to lay face to face, seeing those hypnotic eyes watch you intently, and trace a finger across his jawline, shyly tipping your face up to his for a kiss. He obliges, dipping his head down and capturing your lips, and you revel in the way his mouth feels. You’d been dreaming about it for what felt like ages, and now to finally experience it was a heady rush. Your mouth opens to accept his probing tongue, the wet slip gliding over yours, sampling his taste, feeling the softness of his lips. His hands play with your hair, running enticingly down your back, cupping your ample bottom and pushing, drawing you closer to his heat and growing erection. 

Your kisses grow impatient as he continues to tease you, squeezing and tickling your trapped flesh over your dress, hands slipping just low enough to flirt with the hem but not quite low enough to actually get under it. You whine, pulling away from Satoru’s mouth, and notice he’s observing you, eyes concentrated on your face.

“What is it?” He pushes your hair away from your face, softly brushing his thumb against your cheek. “Are you feeling ok?”

You nod, trying not to let your frustration show, but your clit clenches almost angrily now, the intense need to be splayed open and touched taking over all your rational thinking. Satoru presses little kisses onto your forehead, the tip of your nose, and your now closed eyelids, the soft gestures doing little to cool your aching desire. He drags his tongue along the column of your throat and places open-mouthed kisses as he goes. 

The sigh that leaves your throat is full of lust, your hands getting impatient as you finally find the nerve to grasp the fancy knot in his tie and loosen it. A low hum leaves him as he comes back to your face. “There you go. I’m yours for now. Do whatever you want with me.” He draws circles into the skin of your upper thighs, exposed from your wriggling, the skirt of the dress hiked up provocatively. His voice drops to a sultry purr. “After all, we’re here to make sure you’re satisfied. I’m here to ensure you get the maximum pleasure your body needs in order to welcome my seed  into your body.”

Gaining courage, you slip the tie off Satoru’s neck, then turn your attention to his buttons, fingers trembling from anticipation as you begin to undo them, revealing more and more of his pale skin, and his toned chest and abs. Of course he is in perfect shape, and your eyes drink in the vision that he is, watching the way his skin ripples as he draws in a breath. Could you have picked a more handsome doctor? It seems impossible. You reach out to stroke his skin and he sucks in a breath before drawing you against the expanse of his body. 

Satoru’s mouth drops to the crook of your neck, giving it a gentle nip that sends a hot shiver down your spine. “I think you’d make a great mother.” He kisses along the length of your collarbone before hooking a finger into the neckline of your dress and dragging it down your arm to expose more of your shoulder. “I bet you’d look so cute, with a little round baby bump, your breasts becoming fuller each day, your hips growing wider.” A breathy sigh escapes your lips and he kisses the heated skin, sucking on it hard enough to leave a little red mark. 

“Heh. That was a cute sound. You’re so responsive.” He takes advantage of the exposed skin and kisses just at the top of the swell of your breasts and you let your impatience get the best of you, looking up at him pleadingly to take off your dress. 

He obliges, finally grabbing the rumpled fabric bunched at your hips and pulling the silky material off your body. When it’s gone, he gazes down at you in your pretty lingerie. “You dressed up for me? That’s so sweet.” He licks at the valley between your breasts pushed up by the tiny strips of lace. Air hits you at various places, and you can feel an unmistakable stripe of wetness seeping from your cunt onto the lace thong you’re wearing. The tiny piece of clothing had soaked through, making the already revealing thong practically see-through. Satoru sweeps a long finger against it, feeling moisture against his digits. “You’ve been wanting to be bred for a while now huh?” He pops open your bra, feasting on the display of flesh. He cups your tender breasts and gives soft squeezes, perking up your nipples even more, gently tweaking and pulling at them. 

“Waiting so patiently for someone to finally fuck you the way you deserve. To fill your sweet cunt with enough cum to finally get your body in the mood to grow it. Disappointed by so many cocks.” His crude words accompanied by the erotic stimulation of his hands make you moan. The thought of being filled with this man’s baby, to carry it inside you till it grows was pulling at your primal mating instincts. “Till you met me. Don’t worry. Your body will do everything it can to make sure you grow what I give you. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll push it in real deep, ensure it all goes into your womb.”

Chuckling at the way your expression contorts from his fingers, he admires how hard your nipples are, the way they respond to his touch. He palms the creamy flesh of your breasts, and you feel rushes of heat skittering through your body. “Oh, baby these are gonna get so round and full once I fuck you properly. Bet that milk would taste divine.”

Satoru lowers his mouth and draws an aching nipple into his mouth, drawing a strangled cry from you. The texture of his tongue over the stiffened peaks immediately heightens all your senses, feeling pleasure radiate from the center of your breast, feeling it mirrored between your legs where your clit pulsed and throbbed irritably from the madness of needing to be touched. His free hand rests at the top of your other nipple and pushes it in circles, building up your arousal to a fever pitch.

Your blood is hot and running like whiskey through your veins, throwing a punch of heat into your gut, a dizzy spiral of want floating from your throat down into the wet and awaiting folds of your cunt. Satoru takes his time with you, acutely aware of the way your body is already tingling with the desire of wanting to be taken like a bitch in heat. He sees the need of wanting to be filled, to have those soaked walls stroked with his fingers and cock. This is what he was hoping to see. 

Changing nipples, he teasingly bites the other one while his free hand snakes down towards your navel, your muscles tensing under the tickling sensation of his wandering fingers, stroking your belly before finally dipping lower to cup your mound under the flimsy fabric of your panties. With a smooth movement, Satoru hooks his finger into the waistband and drags it off, tossing it away. All your senses become alert, waiting in tortured agony as you feel him part your slick flesh, and his fingers probe the very outer edges of your dripping folds.

A keening moan of want leaves your mouth. His lips leave your moist nipple with a plop as his long middle finger slips to the apex of your pussy, finally giving your needy clit the attention it had been craving. He touches the engorged bud, applying light circles onto it that drive you wild, your sweet noises filling the room. Your legs part so willingly, planting your feet into the mattress, toes curling into the bedspread as he pets your clit tenderly. “Harder,” you manage to choke out, feeling the nub contract. “Please.” The word comes out as a whine as he continues those patient strokes. 

“Good. It’s better when you’re so desperate like this. Your body will be more receptive to me breeding you this way. How much harder, sweetheart?” Satoru’s other hand takes over, holding the swollen folds of your sex apart, giving him better access to tease and toy with your delicate bundle of nerves. He increases the pressure of the stroke a fraction, making you squirm but also groan in frustration. 

“More. It needs to be harder.”

Heeding your request, Satoru adjusts his hand, slipping his ring finger inside your dribbling hole, watching how it gets sucked in with no resistance, and replaces his thumb on your clit. Pushing down firmly onto the center he resumes the circling motions and brings a jolt of pleasure to your system. “Ooh Satoru…” You croon his name as he gets the pressure just right, each motion now bringing delicious friction into your core. Another finger joins the first, curling up to find that sweet patch inside your gummy walls, alternating with scissoring movements as he prepares you for what’s about to come. 

Your body is tense, a bow drawn taut, waiting for the arrow to be let loose. Your hips move on their own accord to match his rhythm, nails sinking into the silky sheets, as though worried you might lose your orgasm if you dared let go. When your body finally gives you release, that pleasurable sequence of delightful spasms, your breath tears from your throat, each wave hitting you more intensely than the last, your core and clit clenching and relaxing as you ride out every last drop of pleasure. 

His mouth covers yours as you orgasm, his kiss intense as he feels your spasms calm down on his fingers, pulling them out and inhaling before sucking them clean. “Delicious…” he murmurs before placing his fingers near your lips, which you accept, sucking the lingering taste of your pussy and his skin, watching the way his eyes darken as you do so. 

“Perfect. You’re ready to be bred now.” Satoru’s hands go to his belt buckle and undo it, and you hear the whine of the zipper as he pulls off his slacks. You can see the bulge of his erection masked behind his underwear and your mouth waters at the size. The pants are discarded into a corner and he begins to slip out of his final piece of clothing, freeing his aching cock from its confines. The lovely engorged tissue was warm, his mushroom head leaking precum from the hole, impressively long with the veins popping from arousal along the sides. You can’t help yourself as you lean over, giving a teasing lick and hearing his breath strangle in his chest. He indulges you for a moment, letting you taste him, your lips catching the milky beads that form, but when you wrap your lips around his head and bob down, he quickly yanks you off him. 

He’s panting, a sheen of sweat covering those chiseled abs, and shakes his head, his white locks dancing on his face before flashing you a grin. “You’re such a tease. But I can’t risk the insemination by letting you have your way, no matter how good it feels.” He lays back on the bed, beckoning you to lay over him, and you feel clumsy as you crawl over to him, resting a knee on either side of his hips. His arms wrap around you and encourage you to rest on top of him, the feeling of heated skin pressing together adding to your delicate state. He strokes your back and kisses you again, his tongue sloppy as it explores your mouth. When he pulls away, he adjusts his hands on your hips, ensuring you were comfortable laying on him. 

“Take a breath.”

You follow his instruction and the exhale turns into a drawn out moan as he guides his cock into your aching wetness. The tip spreads you open followed by his incredible length, your body helplessly sinking onto him, impaled on the column of heated velvet. A long “oh” escapes your lips, his cock seated so intimately inside you, feeling him just shy of your cervix. He’s patient about it, letting you adjust and wriggle, your hands splaying out on his abdomen as you take a few breaths to clear your mind. He felt so good, so hard and manly, his veins pulsing inside you, adding a delicious layer of additional friction as he teasingly drew out. An animalistic growl leaves your throat at his retreat, his tip threatening to slip out of your lubricated core before he thrusts back up into you, the stroke filling the wet channel so satisfyingly.

Lost in the sensations, you allow him to cradle you on his chest, taking his sweet time fucking you, timing his thrusts to your breathing, which becomes shallow as your pleasure builds. Your cunt is dribbling from the heat, the scent of fecundity filling the room, his cock stroking your inner walls desirably. Your pussy clenches, sucking him further into you, pulling him closer to your womb where you needed him. With a moan, you raise up off his chest, using him as support, and start to ride him, his veiny erection slickened from your arousal. 

“Oh that’s it my girl. Take it.” Satoru pushes your hair away from your face as you rise and crash down on him, your hips bucking like your life depended on it. His warm hands cup your bouncing breasts, watching your face contort as you use him for your own need. 

“Fuck yourself on my cock. You like it huh? Need it in you…want it to shoot all that cum into your womb…” He purrs the words as those magnificent eyes look straight into yours. 

The sound of slapping skin fills the room, both your moans mingling in the air. You did need to bred. You had waited long enough. Your mind is a haze of sexual disarray, nothing more important than getting what you need from him. To be bred like the good girl you were, to finally have your most deepest desire fulfilled. Your thigh muscles are tiring, you can feel them quiver in protest but primal instinct is driving you to keep moving, to bounce on his cock until he cums and fills you with his creamy seed…

You gasp in surprise as Satoru’s large hands squeeze around your waist, steadying you, and slowing you down before reversing your positions. He looms over you and has not slipped out with the transition. “Let me do it. You shouldn’t have to work so hard for this.” Angling his hips, he does a few experimental thrusts until he feels his head brush into the spongy knot of nerves inside your body, making you cry out, your eyes squeezing shut, fingernails sinking into the sinew of his perfect ass. 

He surges forward, taking care to brush against it each time, his forearms and biceps rippling as he thrusts. Your legs wrap around his waist, wanton noise leaving your lips as you cling to him, feeling ecstatic rushes of delight humming through your veins. He murmurs frivolities into your ears as he sets up a comfortable rhythm, gspot first, followed by a soft kiss of his tip against your cervix. “Pretty mama. Gonna make you so round and full. You’ll be going home with a part of me inside you. I’ll give you enough today to last until your next round. Don’t worry if it drips. It’s just a sign of how well you’ve been bred.”

Your walls clamp down on him, feeling so full of him, imagining the vivid image he’d described, of becoming plump and glowy, growing life inside your body. “I want that so much,” you confess, glancing up at him and he makes a grunt of approval. 

“Get ready then.”

His movements become faster, his balls slapping against you as he picks up his pace, panting, sweat forming on both your bodies. His abs are tight as he chases his orgasm, feeling his balls starting to draw up in anticipation. Your mouth is open, lewd noises falling from your lips as you wait for him to give you what you need, then feel the familiar spasms gripping your pussy and lose yourself as your body is rewarded with a second orgasm. Satoru lets out a moan as he finally falls off the edge, satisfied with your climax, and sheathes himself completely into your heat, pushing himself as far in as he can go, letting spurts of his hot cum dribble into you, shooting into your fertile womb. He stills, catching his breath, and to ensure that gravity doesn’t work against you, plugging you effectively until he’s sure enough time has passed before he can safely pull out. Satoru’s cock is semi-limp, as he frees himself with a soft squelching noise.

He draws you against him again, reassuringly stroking your back and smoothing your hair. “You did so well sweetheart. Take some rest now. A nap will give your body a little break and do what it needs to do. Just imagine your next insemination session as you rest.” 

His words are a soothing purr in your ear and your eyes did feel heavy and you decide a nap wasn’t a bad idea at the moment. Cozying up to your warm doctor, you sigh against his skin and let yourself fall asleep. You wake up an hour later still snug in his arms. Satoru confirms your next appointment before helping you back into your clothes, and walking you to the reception. 

“I hope this journey will give you everything you want,” he says courteously to you before stepping back into the clinic. You follow up with your remaining four insemination sessions, each more satisfying than the last.

Waiting was the hardest part. But finally, you take the pregnancy test, feeling your heart flutter when the double lines show up in the little window. 

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[unicorn-shadownight]

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[nightingale-prompts]

Danny lives in a horror movie-DC x DP prompt

Based on my favorite book series "tales from the gas station"

Its not everyday a mission requires the league to travel to middle America in to obtain a highly cursed artifact but it certainly today.

Locating the Seal of Silent Ashes was a task usually given to Justice League Dark but Constantine was currently busy. So that meant it was left to the poster boys to get this done. They dressed in civilian attire to investigate the last location of the seal starting with the first building on the edge of town. A small dusty gas station near the wood.

The inside had an awful smell, like death and cleaning fluid. The lights gave off a greenish-blue tint. Rats could be seen out of the corner of your eyes. Most of the chip were offbrand and crappy.

Behind the counter was the teenage boy chewing gum. He looked up at the group before going back to reading his book. He had clearly seen better days but didn't show signs of caring about the state of his hair or bags under his eyes. He drank coffee.

The air felt off.

"Hey kiddo, do you mind giving us directions?" Clark started.

The kid narrowed his eyes as he popped his gum.

"You're not from here. That or you're from that cult in the woods. Listen I'm not joining. Seriously cosmic nihilism and fatalism sounds doomed. Hey wait-" the teen checked his notes " No, the cult killed themselves in that mass suicide 2 weeks ago. I forgot."

The teen didn't say anything else as he went back to his book.

The horrified look of the adults shared was almost hilarious. At least to the teen if he looked up.

"Oh, and stay out of the woods. I don't want the police to come back and ask about who saw you last. Seriously if whatever is in there tears you apart I won't feel bad. I put those signs out forever ago and if I get one more girl covered in blood running in here screaming about her dead friends I'll get a headache." The teen shrugged turning the page.

"What do you mean?! Why would-?! Who's killing people?!" Barry asked frantically as Bruce serched for more reports of missing people in the area.

"I don't know. Why would I know? If you want to go in the cursed forest go ahead. I mean that's how they all die. It isn't my job to stop you. My job is to sit here and watch this store." The teen huffed in annoyance.

Before anymore questions were asked the signal of the radio was disrupted and a demonic howl screeched through the radio.

"God damnit. That cunt is back. Stay here." The teen growled as he grabbed his bat from under the counter and walked out the back door. "String bean! Get off the fucking roof you bastard! You know that radio is all I have here!"

A chattering laugh like a death rattle was heard and the sound of 2 sets of feet was heard on the roof then they lept down.

"Come here so I can beat you to death!" The teen ran around the building towards the front of the gas station chasing-what the fuck is that!

It was like a human that was twisted to crabwalk on all fours backwards. Its face was contorted into a black stretched-out smile with no teeth. It had no eyes just black sockets. All its limbs were stretched out to an extra meter in length. It was a skinwalker of some kind with chalk-white skin. It was skittering away from the teen who was swinging his bat at its head.

"Stop running! I told you before what would happen if I found you fucking with me again!" The boy meant it as he finally landed a hit and began wacking it over and over it.

The skin walker screeched and tried to run for its life but couldn't.

After reducing the monster into a black puddle the black-stained teen came back inside to sit back down not paying anymore to the monster blood he was covered in.

"Sorry about that. Most of the freaks around here have learned to stay away from this place. That one is new and he doesn't listen. You'd think they'd learn but Sting Bean thinks he can torment me. Petty bastard." The teen sighed "anyways are going to buy anything or are you going to waste what oxygen we get in here with this shitty ventilation.

Diana couldn't help but admire the boldness of the boy. He had no hesitation or fear against the beasts of this area even if was crude.

"Does Constantine have a cousin or something? Just a more angry one" Barry whispered to Hal.

[unpassive-viewer]

Watching breaking in the olympics has been awesome as a former hip hop dancer, but holy shit. For every person who doesn't know how breaking even works and doesn't think it's a sport, there's ten more who are excited about the men's competition, but absolutely ragging on the women's competitors. My head is actually spinning.

If you don't know about breaking, I need to explain some things:

The breakers all know one another already, and all respect each other. This includes between the m&f categories. Nicka (silver medalist - women's) and Phil Wizard (gold medalist - men's) have literally competed as a duo.

The breakers that you think "are better than everyone in the finals" already went through the qualifying trials. They also compete with all the medalists, they also tried out for the olympic teams. They did not make it.

To that end, every battle is its own battle. They may have done poorly in the qualifying trials, but have beaten the now-gold medalists in other competitions. It's not like swimming where Katy Ledecky will pummel everyone else in the race unless she has an exceptionally off day.

Related to point 2 - breaking was born in the Bronx. It was also born in the 1970s. Being mad that the demographics don't reflect who you think should be dancing, or being mad that the dance isn't "in touch with its roots" is like being mad that someone modified the recipe for ginger beef. Some of the guys who were competing today are old enough that they were dancing with the same people who invented the sport. I promise that they have crazy respect for how it began and all of its influences.

Related to point 3 - breaking requires originality. It is a foundational element of the sport to evolve and be creative. It's a sport, but it's also an art form.

Dancing for three rounds in three separate battles is a lot for any dancer. If you think some of them looked like shit toward the end (I disagree, but whatever) it's because they are tired. Not to mention there were heat warnings in Paris! They still have more athletic ability in their left pinky finger than I've ever had in my whole body - and I was someone who also did street dance!

The music wasn't decided ahead of time, but the DJs were playing very very popular breaking songs. All of the competitors already know how they go, so if they were scoring low in musicality, it's not because they panicked not knowing the song.

The athletes have sets made up already, they're not freestyling. They adapt them to the music, but unless they blank in the middle of the competition, they already know which skills they want to show off. (I'm editing to clarify that some of them did freestyle, but for the most part it was after they felt like they'd done what was going to get them points)

I really doubt that anyone on tumblr is going to care, but Instagram users can't read and YouTube is full of bots. I'm so excited that I got to watch my sport in the Olympics, but my lord people cannot behave.

[allbark-no-bite]

don’t write checks you can’t cash.

jake seresin x reader (wc: 3.6k)

summary: jake seresin is under your skin. or maybe you’re under his. either way you’re going to eat each other alive. jake isn’t about to take the fall

warnings: mentioned age gap, heavy sexual tension (the smut is coming i promise)

author’s note: back on my topgun bullshit bitches (respectfully). i’m not usually one for multi part fics but i actually wrote something with plot for once so please just bear with me. loosely inspired by Zach Bryan’s ‘nineball’. please note this fic title is subject to change bc i hate it

(you can read part 2 here!)

————————————————————————

You don't believe in love at first sight. You think the whole concept is some foolish idea that people who have already fallen in love have the liberty of saying they believe in. Then people who have been through failed relationship after failed relationship are convinced that they're never going to fall in love because it just doesn't happen. The whole idea pretty much just sets the rest of the population up for failure from the start.

Even the concept of finding the right person one day and growing to love them is hard for you to grasp. Because how can you love someone that much? How do you know you love them enough?There are some days that you don't enjoy the presence of even your closest friends for very long, friends who you would do anything for. Even family, you only tolerated so much.

Your high school boyfriend hated that about you, the fact that you realistically needed so little of him—or anyone for that matter. You have always been violently independent, able to provide what you require, and therefore having to maintain a simplistic relationship became nothing but a monotonous task. Even most of your closest friendships faded with time.

Eventually, you prosed the question: what can someone else give me that I cannot give myself?

The answer was companionship. Because when you strip away everything from a person and all they have left to offer you is themself, you have to be willing to choose them. And sometimes that's not the most appealing quality.

Something did happen, the first time you made eye contact with Lt. Jake Seresin, but it was far from love. It was something terrible in your chest, like an aching. Like you knew in your gut that he was going to change your life. Good or bad, you didn't know, but it was certain to happen.

You don't even believe that you two were destined to meet — you just happened to, and in that moment, the damage was done, it was your fate to ruin each other.

——

You like the way he says your name. You like that he says your name on purpose, like he is intentionally seeking out reasons to say it. It's not as harsh sounding coming from his mouth.

"You from around here, [L/n]?"

You're wiping down the glass hatch of your F/A-18 when he approaches you from behind. You swivel your head to catch sight of him behind your back but he's already making a wide circle around you, his chin tipping up then down as he inspects your plane from behind his tinted aviators.

As you watch him scrutinize your aircraft, you regard him with a certain level of apprehension. Jake Seresin was nothing short of gorgeous. He was six feet of bronze skin and lean muscle, withbright green eyes, and a movie star smile. Not to mention the southern accent that had girls drooling over him.

"Austin," you correct him. "Austin, Texas."

You'd been transferred over to Miramar a little over a month ago, becoming the newest addition to the Dagger squad. California was a nice change of scenery, and everyone you had met so far had welcomed you with open arms. That is, everyone but Lt. Seresin— Hangman as they called him. You were still trying to find your footing with him.

You genuinely don't know what his problem is with you. The guy had hardly even given you a glance since the moment you'd arrived. Your first guess would have been that he was one of those dickheads who didn't like women working in the field, but his relationship with Phoenix disproved that theory.

Your answer seems to warrant his attention, and he looks up. His expression twitches at the correction but he doesn't say anything in response. For the first time since you arrived at Miramar, still, unsmiling green eyes catch yours from across the aircraft.

You hold his gaze. After a moment, your stomach twists in an unsettling way, like even it doesn't know what to do with itself. Your first instinct is to look away. Your brain is telling you that if you do, you can avoid any sort of confrontation that may happen as a result. But it's like you can't.

This is the first time he's looked at you, and now you don't dare to look away.

Even from behind the tint of his perfectly polished aviators, you can make out the distinct color of his green eyes. They're so distracting that you have to remind yourself to breathe.

After what feels like eons of uncomfortable staring, he breaks your gaze —surely it couldn't have been longer than a few seconds. Flustered, you glance around to see if anyone else has picked up on the affair. Fortunately, or unfortunately, you're not quite sure which, it's nearing 6pm and the base is on the better side of empty. It's a Friday evening and everyone is eager to head out for the weekend.

Someone clears their throat. Hangman is still standing there, hands shoved in his pockets like he doesn't have anywhere better to be. You want to say something but your gut is telling you that there's some sort of game going on here and you're not sure of the rules.

Finally, he faintly nods his head, as if to excuse himself, and turns to walk away. You watch his retreating back and relax a little, breathing a bit easier.

As you're turning back to your plane, relieved that the interaction is over, you hear him call back over his shoulder.

“The team is heading to the Hard Deck at nine. Don't be late."

And then he's gone, disappeared between one of the hangars.

——

For nine thirty on a Friday evening, the bar isn't nearly as busy as you'd expected it to be. You don't have to fight for a parking spot out front and there's not even a line at the bar. Other than a rowdy looking gaggle accumulating at the pool table, the atmosphere is pretty laid back. Looking around as you walk further in, there is a handful of people in civilians, but the majority of the crowd is composed of off duty aviators in their summer khakis.

You're about to head over to the bar top, where you were sure you had spotted Captain Mitchell, when someone shouts your name.

"Hawk!"

Your head swivels at the sound of your callsign, and you catch sight of Rooster beckoning to you over at the pool table. Immediately you recognize the familiar faces of the Dagger squad around him. You acknowledge him with a smile and head over to join them.

“And here we thought you were going to be a no-show," the brunette pilot chirps, his arm wrapping around your shoulder as soon as you're close enough. You lean into his embrace while touching his chest with a friendly pat of your hand. Bradley is by no means close to drunk but most definitely more than a little buzzed if you're going off of the smell of beer and lime on his breath and the occasional involuntary twitch of his mustache.

"I thought about it, but I can't keep letting you guys have all the fun," you laugh, holding out your other arm so that you can greet Natasha with a hug as Rooster releases you.

After hugging you, she presses a sweating bottle of beer into your hand. "Coyote bought everyone a round so I figured I'd save you one before the boys wiped them out. Sorry if it's a bit warm, you did show up fashionably late."

You playfully roll your eyes at her, taking the beer anyhow. "Thanks, Phe."

Payback places a large palm on the top of your head, diverting your attention towards him as he returns from the bar. "Don't let her fool you, we're just getting started over here. Rooster isn't even drunk enough to get on the piano yet."

Laughing, you glance over at the brunette aviator. "Now that I've been waiting to see. I hear you're quite the show, Bradshaw."

Since you transferred over to Miramar, you had been hounded nonstop to go out drinking with the team for weeks, and Rooster's infamous performance had been one of their key selling points. That and the fact that the owner, Penny, often gave them free drinks. Apparently she had a thing for Captain Mitchell.

Rooster grins, leaning against the pool stick in his hand as he waits for Fanboy to take his shot. "Let me get a couple more beers deep and I promise you won't be disappointed."

As you go about making your rounds to greet everyone else, you can't help but notice that there's someone missing. After you take a seat beside Bob to watch Rooster and Fanboy play, you glance around the bar a few times, convinced that you've somehow overlooked him despite the fact that the place isn't busy enough for that.

An almost disappointed feeling pulls at you despite how ridiculous the realization makes you feel.

After spending the better part of an half hour trying to push the feeling away, you finally spot a familiar head of blonde hair over at the dartboard. He's by himself, about three darts in and half a bottle of beer down. So much for the personal invitation, you think.

You watch as he throws a dart, practically without so much as aiming whilst contemplating whether or not you even have it in you to muster up the courage to face those green eyes again.

Without giving yourself the chance to back down, you swallow back the rest of your now warm beer and head over.

He tosses another dart just as you reach him, and it finds itself dead center with the previous three.

"With a hand like that, you should be kicking Rooster's ass over there in pool," you say as you come to a stop behind him.

Walking away from the dartboard, Jake turns to grab his bottle of beer from the table beside you.

"I'm not much of a betting man," he huffs, leaning back against the table. The muscles of his biceps bugle distractingly against the sleeves of his uniform.

You look back over your shoulder, watching from a distance as Fanboy's cue clips the eight ball and sends it ricocheting off the sidewall. He groans, and Rooster whoops triumphantly from behind him.

"It wouldn't be much of a bet. Even with his winning streak, I think you'd give him a run for his money."

Hangman takes a sip from his bottle, mouth lingering on the rim before he sets it back down and crosses his arms. "Rooster's all luck and no skill. The table's got a lean."

You raise your eyebrows at the confession, half laughing at his lax confidence. "Oh? And you would know this how?"

"C'mon, son. Fuckin' hit it in."

Body tense, his arm quivers ever so slightly and the pool stick bobs shakily in his hand. He closes his eyes and takes a breath in.

"I haven't got all day, kid."

He breathes out and breathes back in. The smell of cigar smoke and cheap beer swims in his head.

"What're you doin'?! Quit wastin' time."

He exhales, opens his eyes, and hits the pool stick forward. The white cue ball shoots out to the left, bounces against the eight ball, and sends it hurdling towards the side pocket. At the very last moment, it veers off to the left and falls into  the back corner pocket instead.

The man standing on the other side of the table curses, his pool stick dropping to the ground, but Jake pays little mind to him. He straightens, looking around eagerly for the only set of eyes that matter. The grin falls from his face when he realizes the old man isn't even watching, too busy counting out his prize money and yanking out a ten to hand to the bartender.

Jake looks up at the clock on the wall over his shoulder.

12:57 am

"Dad, I wanna go home."

"Not yet, son. I've already got fifty put down on another round."

"Want me to show you?"

His offer makes you pause, and you can't help but cock your head a bit as you try to weigh out just where this is heading. For weeks he has acted as though you barely even existed and now you're engaged in the longest conversion the two of you have had since your arrival.

Jake finishes his drink and sets the bottle down whilst walking over to you. "Final offer. Take it or leave it."

You laugh a little before stepping back so that he can make his way to the pool table. "Lead the way then." But before you can make it too far, his palm finds the flat of your back, pressing you forward so that you're in front of him. You're glad he can't see you because your face flashes hot at the unexpected contact.

"I'm not the one playing, kid. I'm just going to show you the ropes."

"Oh, I didn't-"

Any objections you have about the situation are ignored as he pushes you firmly in the direction of the pool table and asks Payback for his cue. "Look alive, Bradshaw. Hawk is about to show you how this thing is done."

Straightening his wide shoulders, Bradley grins, smug and easy as you and Hangman approach the opposite side of the table. "And here I thought you were here to reclaim your throne now that I'm intoxicated."

Jake grins back. "You don't need to be drunk for me to do that."

Bradley's mustache twitches, but he's still smiling. "Sure."

Jake turns back to you, placing the pool stick in your hand. You can't help but think that his expression is all too confident for someone who has never even seen you play pool.

"Nervous?" he asks as you take the stick from him.

"Should I be?" you ask back, turning your head to watch as Rooster takes the liberty of breaking the rack.

He shakes his head, his green eyes glowing with a warmth that you've yet to see from him. "Not as long as you don't totally suck."

Seeing that it's your turn, you brush past him to stand at the table. "I guess I'll let you be the judge of that."

Thankfully you've played your fair share of pool and so you're able to hold your own for most of the game. Jake remains criminally silent as you play, arms once again crossed as he leans against a nearby stool, but you can feel his gaze burning into your back the entire time. It isn't until the end of the game and you've missed the same ball multiple times that he steps in.

"Shift left," he directs you. When you glance over at him, he nods his head as if to insinuate where you should move but doesn't move from where he's planted himself since the beginning of the game.

Hesitantly, you shuffle over a half step and take the shot. The ball comes closer than you have been but still hits the sidewall just short of the pocket. You huff in frustration, and Rooster steps forward to take his turn, sinking his second to last ball in the same pocket.

"I hope you're ready to buy the next round, Seresin. Looks like Hawk is losing her nerve," Bradley goads, unable to keep himself from boasting a little at your expense. When it comes to Hangman, he can't resist the chance to taunt him.

You roll your eyes at his comment, not bothered so much by it as compared to the fact that you're losing. When it's your turn again, you line up the ball and lean down to assume your position when Jake stops you.

All the sudden he's right beside you, palm pressing into your hip to scoot you to the side. "Move over." When you look at him like he's crazy, he huffs. "C'mon, do you want my help or not?"

It isn't so much of a question as it is a statement and the press of his hand against your side doesn't leave you much of an option and so you shuffle over to the far right side of the pool table.

Before you can even comprehend what's going on, he's leant over you, his impossibly tall frame pressed to your back so that he can reach around you and guide your hands. One wraps around your hand on the stick and the other cups your opposite elbow.

It takes everything in you not to jerk away, overwhelmed by his sudden proximity. Instead you try to focus on controlling your hammering heart and pray he can't tell how clammy your palms suddenly are.

"Hey, that's not allowed," Rooster complains. "Is that allowed?"

Coyote shrugs. "It's not not allowed."

Distracted by their bickering, his voice in your ear nearly makes you jump. "Hit the cue ball. Hard."

The lean press of his body is almost enough to distract you from the fact that he's done a god awful job of lining up the shot. There's not one alternate reality where you make this shot.

"You can't be serious."

He's so close that you feel him smile beside your ear. "Dead."

"Any day now," Rooster prompts, as if you aren't aware that Jake Seresin has been pressed against you for an uncomfortably long amount of time. And if Hangman has noticed the fact that your heart is fluttering erratically inside your chest or that your skin is flushed hot to the touch, he doesn't let on. 

"I'm waiting," he reminds you, his voice placid in your ear.

Against your better judgement, you take the shot.

The white cue ball hurtles into the black eight ball with a hard clack and sends it flying across the table. It smashes against the sidewall, exactly as you had expected it to, and you release a breath of defeat. And then something unexpected happens. The ball slows, but instead of bouncing to a stop, it continues to roll left across the table. You all watch as it rolls directly into back corner pocket of the table.

"Well I'll be damned," Payback mutters aloud.

"Hell yeah, [L/n]!" Phoenix shouts, her loud and robust voice ringing out across the bar. "Shots are on Bradshaw!"

"Thanks buddy," Coyote laughs, teasingly grabbing the back of the brunette aviator's shoulders as he heads off for the bar.

Bradley waves them off, looking a bit miffed but still good naturedly accepting his defeat.

"How about it? You're a cold blooded killer."

Like a bucket of ice water being dumped over your head, the sound of Hangman's voice coming from behind you jerks you back to reality. You haven't even noticed that he'd stepped away. Something inside you twinges at the loss of his body pressed against yours.

You turn around to face him, your brain still trying to comprehend what just happened.

"How'd you do that?" you ask incredulously, your tone almost accusing. A deeper part of you wants to ask 'why did you do that' but the smile on his face stops you.

His top row of pearly white teeth that you glimpse is pristine, however brief, before his pink lips come back together in a more subdued smile. It's an expression that is so very genuine and carefree that it sends a spark straight through to your heart. You've never seen him actually smile before, and especially not at you.

"You're smiling," you accuse before you can stop the words from coming out of your mouth, half giddy at the discovery yourself.

Jake looks slightly away, turning his head briefly in order to suppress his smile before looking back to you. “Yeah? So?” His green eyes are twinkling as he says it, like he knows he’s been caught.

You jab the short end of the pool stick into the center of his chest, but he’s quick to grab it before it can find home.

“Up until yesterday, you could barely stand to even look at me,” you say.

He bites the inside of his cheek. “That’s not true.”

“So you’re saying that I’m seeing things.” You try to tug back on the pool stick but Hangman doesn’t release it.

“I’m saying you shouldn’t be seeing things.”

With that, a larger portion of the previous smile is gone from his face, a more sober look replacing it.

Just like that the spark fades. Even though you want to shut down, turn your back to his face and just walk away. You force yourself to keep talking, holding your voice steady. “I don’t think I’m following you.”

Inside you know exactly what he means.

His eyes flicker up over your shoulder but the Dagger squad has already moved on to crowd around Rooster at the piano.

You clamp your jaw together as he releases the pool cue and crosses his arms in front of his chest. It makes him look more relaxed than he is.

"Look, whatever this is—whatever you think I am, I'm not." He says this with the realistic conviction of someone who knows that even if it is, you can't. He says it like he’s trying to convince himself.

You’re not quite sure how old he is—barely thirty if you had to guess— but he’s older. Too old. Not to mention fraternization is deeply frowned upon.

"I know," you answer firmly. Because you do. Because even if it isn't, you want it, whatever it is.

He stares down at you with those green eyes, his pupils pinpoint sharp. After a moment he heaves a sigh and releases it, nodding his head. “So we’re in agreement?”

“Yeah,” you answer. “We’re in agreement.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

[popponn]

call you later; 1.

notes: what if you didn't pick up their call? they left a voicemail, in their own ways. characters: isagi yoichi, itoshi sae, seishirou nagi. [ part 2 : rin, bachira ]

isagi yoichi

Probably felt a little bit sad you didn’t pick up. You are probably his first crush—and only, for a long time, maybe, and this boy is committed with capital C when he is into something—so don’t be too hard on him. Like, hey, his #2 after the soccer itself didn’t pick up his phone? Poor guy.

But like the considerate boy off the pitch he is, Yoichi will immediately give you a brief of what he wanted to tell you before leaving the classic note of ‘i will call you again later’. It won’t be overly long, as he prefers to talk to you rather than to the empty void of a voicemail. Or at least he intends so to seem polite and proper, until he stutters and tripped all over his words a little bit. It’s cute though.

All in all, probably one of the most normal guy from Blue Lock, as usual, and whatever sad feelings he had from getting his call not being picked up will be gone the moment he got the chance to talk to you. A little advice, just make sure to actually call him later—knowing you reach out to him as soon as you can will make Mr. Egoist pretty happy.

“Uh, so… are you busy? Wait—you are not picking up of course you are busy…” Yoichi trailed off with a nervous laugh. “But, so, anyway, about our promise to walk around Saitama, I was wondering if your schedule is free this Sunday? I got two weeks off Blue Lock but I kinda want to make sure we can do it as soon as we can, so if anything comes up—ah, but I didn’t mean it in a bad way!”

It took Yoichi a few seconds to gather his composure before he continued, “I mean, uh, yeah, I just want to do it with you soon. I will call you again so we can talk about it later! Work hard, or have a good time! See you!”

itoshi sae

First of all, how dare you. He is famous and probably have people lining up for his number while you get him punching your number and didn’t pick up. Just for that, Sae might throw a tantrum, albeit a silent one.

On a more serious note, he will raise an eyebrow honestly, especially if you are the type to usually answer. But he is pretty independent most of the time, so he will only left a few words on the voice mail. In some occasions, though, when he just calls for the sake of listening to you, he will feel a little bit down. You can cheer him up later—you should, actually. Sometimes talking with Sae requires advanced mind reading technique and when he is a little bit down or pissed you really have to use that skill. Because boy, this guy is pretty constipated emotionally.

So, end notes, just call him real soon, okay? He might act cold and tough but he is also someone whose favorite show is Chibi Maruko-chan. He won’t say much in the voicemail or act like it afterwards, but he might really wait for you to call back, especially if he didn’t hear anything from or about you for a day. Though, honestly, just call him back or answer his next call before five seconds so everyone could be saved from his scathing vocabularies.

“What do you want for dinner? I’m picking you up later,” Sae said without wasting a second. “Hurry up and decide, then call me soon, got it? And in case you are thinking of anything funny, finish whatever you are working on first, then call me as soon as possible.”

For a moment, it was as if he was done. Then, a few beats of silence passed and he continued, “…and honestly… nevermind. Just call me soon.”

nagi seishirou

Yeah, let’s be real—he won’t leave a note and just give up. He willed out energy to call you first and you asked more from him? Wow. The fucking audacity.

But, let’s say, he really really wants to talk to you at the time and is in a really really really good mood—it will be long, if only for the long pauses. He will speaks sparsely, like the personification of bullet notes, as he doesn’t really see the point in talking if you are not really there to begin with. But, at the same time, Nagi Seishirou is also a Blue Lock egoist and he thinks having you listen to his voice note for a long time is not exactly a bad thought.

In the end, though, he really just want to hear your voice, actually. So, sooner or later, he will end the note with a ‘call me soon’ and plays a few games while waiting for you. The guy really need to recharge whatever small battery he has with you, so you really better call back if you don’t want to deal with a pouty Nagi holding a petty grudge for three minutes. And come on, do it for Reo, dude has way too much on his plate already.

“Eh, why are you not picking up?” Seishirou started with a complain, before immediately staying silent for a long time. Clearly on purpose, rather than for trying to remember something. “…I want to talk to you, so call me later, ‘kay?” he continued, in the end. “Choki also misses you by the way. You love Choki, right? So you really better call me back.”

Then, as an afterthought, he added, “Oh, I also have something I want to show you. So, let’s meet up next week. That’s all. Later.”

[thedailydescent]

Whether or not my raffle will end up helping anybody, I would like to focus on a few select individuals from my list who have not reached 5K yet and are not getting enough attention:

From lowest to highest:

Mohammed Eid Matar- @mohammedmatat and @matarmoh2024 (€1,175)

Mohammed's fundraiser has been vetted by @/el-shab-hussein @/nabulsi and @/moayesh. Sadly, Tumblr had unfairly deactivated his blog for four months, leaving him unable to campaign for his family. He is now back on Tumblr and asking you all for help.

Mohammed has a little brother and sister, both left critically injured by occupier bombardment and currently needs your help getting them medical treatment! I have chatted with Mohammed a few times and he seems like a wonderful and protective brother, who just wants to do everything he can to help his family. Will you respond to his call?

Hashim & Laila- @hashimsafadi (€1,219)

Laila and Hashim's fundraiser has been vetted by Pali Pals. @victoriawhimsey and others have trying to get them to their short-term goal of €5,000 for months now, but has so far been unsuccessful. Before Oct 7, Hashim was previously NGO coordinator, and Laila a lab specialist in the agriculture ministry. They were happy and had plans of starting a family together. Now their home is destroyed, their careers lost, and their dreams halted. They have already been displaced several times due to orders from occupiers.

Laila and Hashim have already done everything they've needed to do. They've made themselves known online. They're vetted. They put photos and videos of their situation up. They come on frequently to campaign for themselves. What more do you need from them? What will it take for you to finally respond?

Mohammed- @mohamedabushaban06 (€3,079)

Mohammed's fundraiser has been vetted by Pali Pals. Mohammed is an 18 year-old medical student who is studying in Qatar. He previously needed €3,000 in tuition fees to start his semester. He reached his goal, but his journey is far from over.

Mohammed is at risk everyday of being deported back to Gaza if he does not meet his school's financial requirements. This cannot happen. He needs €20,000 to make it through the school year. He has not received a donation in 2 days, despite being spotlighted by @/victoriawhimsey and @/dlxxv-vetted-donations. Please don't forget about Mohammed!

Ruba Abushahan- @rubashsblog and @iyadsobhegaza ($4,210 + CHF166)

Ruba is listed at #90 on the Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List, and perhaps is one of the most heartbreaking and frustrating cases I've read about. Ruba had previously raised 27K on her old gofundme (which is listed in the link verification), but the funds were placed on hold with gofundme still slowly processing her appeal to release them. Two other fundraisers have luckily been set up, so people have been requesting refunds from her old gofundme to donate to her new ones, but still, the process has been going depressingly slowly. She has also been spotlighted by @neptunerings and @heliopixels, but it has not been enough.

Ruba is currently in hospital, recovering from an injury she got while being forced to move again. Iyad suffers from a weak heart and needs medical care now. Can people please help them out?

Tagging: @khanger @neptunerings @heliopixels @brutaliakhoa @determinate-negation

@heritageposts @ana-bananya @a-shade-of-blue @underthejollyroger @schoolhater

@dlxxv-vetted-donations @dykesbat @transmutationisms

[sacklerscumrag]

Sunshine (Part 1/2)

single dad!Clyde Logan x nanny!reader

1 of 2

Notes: Hi! I know I haven't written for the ADCU in some time but i have this dad!clyde brainrot and i might as well post it. part 2 is 90% done so I’ll post that sometime soon

I miss being here & I hope everyone is doing well, sending all of you lots of love & thank you for taking time out of your day to read my silly little stories, i appreciate you <3

Warnings: protective girl dad!Clyde, talk about kids, mention of abandonment issues, mother not involved (and will not appear at any point), no mention of y/n, fluff, pining, pervy thoughts from sasquatch, eventual smut in second part (tags will be added), no cliffhanger

Word Count: 7.1K

(this will go back & forth between Clyde's POV & readers POV)

The bar was filled with scattered conversations and the faint sound of jukebox music lingering in the background. It was an otherwise quiet Thursday night at Duck Tape. Clyde busied himself as usual, topping off the regulars and ensuring everyone was settled and satisfied. The calm before the storm, at least until the real crowd rushed in to watch the Friday night game. Being the only bar in a small town meant there was little else to do around here. Clyde never seemed to mind, though; catching familiar faces day in and day out was one of his favorite parts of owning Duck Tape in the first place. Regulars usually required minimal conversation, which was right up Clyde's alley. The most words anyone got out of him other than his siblings was Earl, but he didn't mind. Clyde quickly finished his last prep of the day and glanced around the bar, taking advantage of the slow pace and stepping away into the recluse of his office. He huffed as he shut the door behind him and sank into his lanky chair; a never-ending sea of papers he'd been dodging surrounded him on the worn-out wooden desk. His eyes burned, and his head ached from the tension of another long day. Taking over the bar a couple of years ago definitely tested his limits. He loved it here, but it strained the already little energy he had left to go on about his day. So much had changed in Clyde's life in the past few years alone. From becoming a father to being the new proud owner of Duck Tape due to the Heist, plus there was-. The Heist, the words halted his train of thought as memories came and went.

The biggest risk any of them had taken in their life landed all three Logans with more financial security than they knew what to do with; plus, if anything was going to convince Clyde that the Logan family curse was finally broken, it sure as hell was how swiftly they had gotten away with all of it. But none of that really mattered. Sure, it was more than nice not to think about how he would pay off the next bill or where his next meal would come from, but he couldn't help but look around and feel like something was missing. Maybe someone to share it with woulda been nice, he thought to himself. Jimmy had Sylvia, Mellie had Joe, and well, he had his Sunshine. He mentally kicked himself at the apparent self-doubt clouding his mind; Clyde had more than enough to be grateful for. But a small part of him couldn't help but yearn.

It's not like Clyde was a stranger when it came to love. Sure, it's not something he thinks he's ever experienced, but he was sure he saw it with Jimmy and Sylvia. What they had was enough to convince him there was something more out there. Clyde just wasn't entirely sure he deserved whatever that was. He would live the rest of his life longing for something he couldn't quite put his finger on, and that's just another obstacle in his life he had come to terms with.

Clyde's train of thought quickly faded when he heard the office door click open behind him, making him turn in his chair. Dark, luscious curls crawled their way onto his lap, and small arms stretched around his waist. The discomfort from a long workday quickly melted away as giggles filled his ears. Mellie trailed into the office, following a giggling Lyla, who had already captured her dad in an embrace.

Clyde took a moment to tussle Lyla's hair slightly, making her giggle even louder. The way she fit into his lap took him back to a time when she was nothing but a wailing newborn cradled in his arms while the uncertainty of being thrown into fatherhood haunted him. It wasn't like he had much of a choice. It was not like his head was in the right place either, with the too-embarassing-to-admit heartbreak, confusion, and, no doubt, fear consuming him. A one-night stand he was sure he'd never hear from again turned into a small note tied with a pink ribbon to a baby carrier on his doorstep nine months or so later. He was young, dumb, and with no time to process any of it, but before he knew it, there she was. All big brown eyes and grabby hands, looking back at him like he hung the moon, and from that moment on, Clyde knew his life would change forever.

"Hey, Sunshine." Clyde drawled, and Lyla smiled while babbling to him about her day with her favorite aunt. Mellie smiled at the sight of her eager niece, sparing no detail of their girl's day spent at the salon.

"You good if I head on out?" Mellie said as soon as Lyla let her get a word in.

"Yeah, was jus' finishin' up here n' headin' home."

"Alright. Don't stay too late now. Night, you two." Lyla wrapped herself around Mellie's legs in a tight hug before saying her goodnight and reluctantly seeing her out the door.

"Ready to go, Sunshine?" Lyla nodded towards her dad and practically sprinted toward the front door. Something told him Mellie let her niece have more sugar before bed than he would usually allow, and something else told him he would be the one to pay for it later.

------------

As the busier weeks of the year followed with football season being at its peak, Clyde had just about had it. Another night at Duck Tape dragged on, minutes feeling like hours. Clyde was nearing his limit between the higher volume of patrons than usual and being understaffed with just two servers on the floor for the third night in a row. He hadn't even realized what time it was. And it wasn't just tonight; everything was starting to blur together as of late—never-ending odd hours at the bar in between quality time playing whatever princess Lyla was currently obsessing over, all while making sure he was always home just in time to read a bedtime story and tuck her into bed. Clyde was losing it. It's not like he thought things would get easier as Lyla got older, but damn, he could use a break.

And he sure as hell wasn't comfortable leaving Lyla in any sort of childcare yet, so help came from the people he loved the most. Mellie was always around to spend time with her niece, taking Lyla to the salon whenever possible, while Jimmy and Sylvia were happy to step in when they could. Clyde knew how lucky he was, having his family rally around him and step up whenever he needed them. He never did like to impose his troubles on them, knowing they had their own lives to take care of. Always making sure he was on time to pick Lyla up straight after work and spending his days off with her, attending endless tea parties along with movie nights where every stuffed animal she could fit would join them on the couch beside them in the small trailer they shared.

Clyde found himself overwhelmed by the daily chaos more often than he'd like to admit. But the truth is, he had grown to depend on her just as much as she did on him. Her smiles brightened even his darkest days. Listening to Lyla talk about the things she loves, whispering 'I love you, and snuggling before bed every night kept him going no matter how exhausted he was. He wouldn't trade it for the world.

But late at night, when Lyla was finally asleep and the world was a little quieter, Clyde's thoughts always seemed to be a little louder. It was the only time when he didn't have to have all the answers or act like everything wasn't weighing on him as heavily as it was, where not a single person depended on or needed something from him. Nothing else to do but sink into the couch, crack his favorite beer open, and drift off to sleep, only to wake up the next day and do it all over again.

"C'mon Clyde. A couple drinks with ya favorite brother, plus ya can use the night out. Syl's got her." Jimmy insisted, breaking Clyde out of his haze. Clyde huffed; the poor guy just wanted his brother to let off some steam, and he understood that. He was thankful his brother always looked out for him in his own way, but he couldn't give in. Not again. He winced slightly at the memory of the last time he indulged in a reckless drunk night out and how it ended with Lyla on his doorstep. Not that he regrets any of it, of course. He'd do it again a million times if it meant ending up with Lyla every time. But there was no denying the exhaustion that plagued him since that day. Long days and sometimes nights at the bar, followed by a never-ending list of chores, along with a more than needy kiddo constantly yanking at his leg, awaited him at home.

" 'S alright. 'M jus' stressed, been workin' nonstop, jus' wanna get home to Sunshine." Clyde put on a strained smile as he wiped down the bar top for the night. He couldn't bring himself to justify spending any of his spare time away from his girl. Having his family watch Lyla was always more of a necessity; how could he ask more of them? Just so he could kick back a few beers and feel like shit about it tomorrow? No, thank you, Clyde thought to himself. Jimmy let up as their attention was drawn away toward the door, chiming as Mellie sauntered into Duck Tape and scurried right up to the bar beside her brother.

"Guess what?" Mellies shoots Clyde a knowing smirk while bouncing on her feet excitedly.

"What?" Clyde managed to keep his tone steady, reluctantly ready to hear whatever Mellie was plotting after having to fight Jimmy off for the last hour about him 'loosenin' up,' whatever the hell that meant.

"I found ya a babysitter for the summer. Or is a nanny that ya needed? Oh well, whatever it is, I found her." She pulls out one of the bar stools and takes a seat. Clyde sets down the rag and takes a deep breath before looking back at Mellie, silently urging her to continue. "An' before ya say anythin', she's a real close friend; met her a couple years back at the salon, and she just moved back into town; she'd be perfect for this."

"Takin care of Lyla isn't something for one of your little friends, Mel." Clyde didn't mean to sound so condescending. Especially when his little sister was only trying to make his life easier, but he couldn't help himself. With the amount of time this person would spend with his daughter, Clyde needed someone he could trust. He prided himself in always wanting what was best for his Sunshine; her care was no exception.

"C'mon Clyde. Ya need the help, and she's a good one, I swear. Great with kids, and you can trust her." He sighed. "Just meet her before you make any decisions...please?" Clyde knew there was no talking Mellie out of anything, especially when her mind was made up like this. Plus, if he was being honest with himself, he was desperate. He didn't trust many people where Lylas was concerned, and that made the picking for her nanny or even a babysitter slim to none in this small town. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed this. And if Mellie trusted her, well, that would have to be good enough for him. For now.

"Fine. I'll meet her. When were ya thinkin'?" Mellie beamed a smile at him before checking her phone as a text message came through.

"Is now a good time?" Clyde's dazed look only amused Mellie further as she turned to the front door. "There she is!" Mellie hollered toward you, waving so you'd join them.

Clyde's eyes felt like they were damn near ready to fall right out of his head. If the word 'trouble' had a picture next to it in the dictionary, he was sure it'd look a lot like you, all dolled up in jeans that looked like they'd been drawn on and worn-down cowboy boots as you confidently strutted your way toward him. All bright eyes and delicious curves taking up all of his attention and then some. Clyde's grip tightened, practically digging his fingernails painfully into his palm. He couldn't remember the last time he reacted so strongly to someone. Pretty girls strolling in and out of Duck Tape were a rarity; he never bothered to give them a second look, let alone a first one. A hazy introduction later, you extended your hand towards him, and he swore he could feel lightning crackle through his veins at the warmth of your palm, immediately kicking himself for being so affected by you so quickly. Get it together, asshole, he told himself. This was going to be a long night.

---------

Mellie embraced you warmly and dragged you toward the two men staring daggers at you from the bar. It felt odd when she texted you out of the blue to meet her and the parent of the child you might or might not be taking care of this summer at some bar, but you didn't question it. Mellie always came with surprises. You happily greeted Jimmy, recalling the second Logan and his little girl from when you visited Mel's salon while he was fixing up the place last summer. In the short time you spent in this small town, the Logans always had their own way of making you feel right at home.

"Hi." You introduced yourself to the man behind the bar top, trying not to let his stern gaze affect you. His broad shoulders and handsome face made your breath hitch from the moment you first saw him. And if he kept looking at you like he was, you weren't sure your knees wouldn't buckle on the spot.

"Clyde, this is my friend I was tellin' ya about." Mellie cautiously glared at her seemingly rigid brother before looking back at you. "This is my brother, Clyde, Lyla's dad." You offered him a warm smile and extended a hand toward him. Clyde stiffened further, eyes darting between you; his large palm engulfed yours.

"Hm. Nice to meet ya." He offered you a tight smile and briefly shook your hand, practically snatching it away. Your skin suddenly missed his warmth, but you shook away the slight disappointment at his apparent disinterest.

"Clyde, don't be rude. Sorry, he's not a real people person." Mellie scolded him and turned toward you. "So ya still interested in that babysittin' gig? Lord knows my brother here could use the help." Clyde's eyes shot up and glared at Mellie, silently wishing the ground would swallow him whole so he could be spared the embarrassment his little sister was already putting him through.

"I don't know. Is it still available?" You glanced at Clyde teasingly, hoping to ease whatever tension had manifested between the three of you in the last five minutes.

"Yes. No." Clyde scrambled to gather his thoughts before continuing. "It is I just...I'd like to see ya spend time with her first. See how ya are with her n all that.'' He sighed. This wasn't the way this was supposed to go. He was supposed to find a nanny, get through the summer, and life could go on like it had been. Instead, he felt so flustered that he couldn't even string a simple sentence together if his life depended on it.

"I can come over sometime this week to spend some time with her. If it doesn't feel like a good fit for you, you have no obligation to hire me." You made sure to sneak in that last part before he could change his mind. Clyde nodded towards you appreciatingly.

"How's tomorrow afternoon? Round 1? I can drop her off after my shift." Mellie chimed in before Clyde could stumble over any more of his words.

"Tomorrow it is, then." You nodded and received a barely there smile from the grumpy bartender. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all.

-----

The next day arrived much faster than Clyde realized. He typically looked forward to his mornings off, sharing a big plate of burnt bacon with Lyla while sprawling on the couch watching morning cartoons. Instead, he spent most of his morning distracted. Even when Lyla rambled about what was playing on the television, Clyde's mind wandered back to you. It's not like he'd gotten much sleep either, with the thought of seeing you again running through is mind late at night. What was supposed to be a quick shower ended with Clyde's hand gripping his cock, images of you pressed up against him, droplets of water streaming down your breasts as he drove into you and pressed his warm body on yours. It wasn't long before he felt himself spill on his hand, and harsh reality set in. Clyde hated himself over it. He was going to be your employer, for fucks sake. He'd barely met you for more than ten minutes, and already he was over here pining and touching himself like some hormone-crazed teenager with a crush. Thankfully, it wasn't long before Mellie swung by to pick Lyla up, promising her another one of their girls' days at the salon. Lyla quickly got ready, and after seeing her out the door and waving the two off, Clyde managed to peel himself off the couch and headed over to the bar.

From there, the morning dragged like no other. Clyde spent most of it sitting in his office, trying not to think about the fact that you'd walk through those doors any second. He always found it easy to throw himself into work, put everything else aside, and focus on what needed to get done. But every time he tried, there you were. There was no way he'd be able to do this. Spending more time with you? If he felt this out of control after one day, how would he be able to be any sort of normal around you all summer? He couldn't; he had to end this today. You would understand; Mellie said this job wasn't all that serious for you anyway. You could go back to wherever you came from, and he could finally get something done without thinking about how your hand felt on his last night. Or how badly he wanted to trace the soft skin on your collarbone or how your smile warmed his heart with a familiarity he somehow already craved.

Clyde didn't get too far into his bar prep when the doors to Duck Tape swung open. Lylas skipped inside, Mellie following closely behind her. She stumbled while trying to climb one of the bar stools, making Clyde exit the bar quickly and taking her in his arms.  

"Gon' hurt ya self there, Sunshine." Lyla giggled, the bar stool wobbling underneath her before Clyde set her on the ground. Just as Mellie said her goodbyes and headed out, the door opened, but this time, Clyde could've sworn he felt his heart skip a beat at the sight.

-------

Your morning had been nothing short of hectic after changing your outfit an endless amount of times. Not to mention spilling coffee on your shirt once you'd managed to settle on something. You quickly shoved that aside and mustered whatever courage you had left to head over to the bar. A short drive later, you walked into Duck Tape at precisely one o'clock to find Clyde standing beside an adorable little girl looking up at him with a guilty look on her face.

"Now I know Aunt Mellie gave ya candy at the salon; that's enough for today, sunshine." Lyla pouted slightly as you listened in. Clyde said a quick hi and crouched beside her when he noticed you standing there. Lyla wrapped herself around her dad's legs when she spotted you.

"Lyla, this is Aunt Mellie's friend. The one I told ya about." Clyde waited cautiously for his daughter's response. As you knelt on the floor in front of the pair, you were met with wild chestnut curls and doe-brown eyes on the cutest kid you've ever seen.

"Nice to meet you, Lyla." The little girl retracted shyly into her dad's embrace. Your eyes landed on the coloring book and plastic crayon box she cradled in her hands. "That's a nice princess coloring book you got there. Rapunzel is my favorite, ya know."

"Rapuzel's my favorite too." Lyla mumbled, chocolate button eyes hesitantly landing on you.

"No way! Her dress has both of my favorite colors, purple and pink."

"Those are mine too! Daddy got me a 'punzel dress, and he lets me wear it all the time when we have tea parties 'n stuff." You could've sworn Clyde's cheeks flushed slightly like the doting dad you could already see he was.

"I bet he does." You smiled over at Clyde. Thinking about this large man playing pretend princess and having tea parties with his daughter had your heart swirling with emotions you were sure shouldn't be there in the first place. You didn't know why that warmed your heart the way it did, but you brushed it off as you offered to color with her, and Lyla practically dragged you toward the back of the bar.

The next hour was spent with the both of you huddled in a corner booth while Clyde kept busy around the bar. You talked endlessly about her extensive knowledge of every single princess, colored a couple of pages, and even earned a few giggles.

Clyde wiped down the bar for what he was sure was the millionth time. There was minimal on the to-do list for today, but he would busy himself here as long as it took if it meant keeping an eye on you two. It's not like you needed it; he didn't need to be there to know you were hitting it off with Lyla. The chatter had been nonstop since you sat at the booth; you engaged seamlessly with her. Listening intently to every word while keeping her entertained. He noticed his daughter was just as entranced with you as he was. This was a good thing, wasn't it? He had to admit he miscalculated your ability in all of this when you first met. Clyde felt terrible about how closed off he'd been last night. Here you were, all bright-eyed and ready to help, and there he was, the usual grey cloud raining on everybody's parade the first chance he got. At least, that's how he assumed everyone saw him.

Clyde was refilling some bottles from the bar when Jimmy called, letting him know he was outside. He signaled over to Lyla, who was beyond excited to spend the rest of her day with her uncle and cousin Sadie. You helped her gather her things before Jimmy took Lyla in his arms. One "Bye, Daddy!" and a wave from Clyde later, and it was just the two of you in the ample bar space.

"So how'd I do, bossman?" you asked as Clyde stepped out from behind the bar. His large frame coming into full view was enough to make a girl swoon on the spot. You attempted to reign in whatever self-control you could gather, well enough to take a step toward him without feeling like a giddy schoolgirl. Clyde remained silent for a moment before you felt the need to speak.

"Look, I know it must be hard to just trust a stranger with all this. And I know I'm not the most qualified person out there. But I'm a hard worker and punctual; playing princesses and tea parties happens to be my specialty. Plus, I can make anything into a game." You could've sworn you saw a hint of a smirk on Clyde's handsome face.

"She seems to like you." Warmth blossomed in your chest at the compliment. Lyla was a smart kid and funny, too. You knew it would be hard not to fall in love with the little rascal from the moment you met.

"Well, I like her too, so that's a plus." Clyde felt his entire body tense up at your newfound proximity. From here, he could see the flush of your lips and the captivating color in your eyes, like two pools he would happily drown in. Your warm smile drew him in until he found himself needing to be closer to you than what was deemed appropriate. And to hear you talking so sweetly about his sunshine? His heart felt like it could burst out of his chest, but he quickly compelled that away to unpack another day.

"Can ya start tomorrow? I have a late shift bein' a sports night n all." Clyde attempted to shake his thoughts away. He had to try at least to pretend like he hadn't spent the better part of his shift taking longing glances at you, admiring the way your white tee and jeans fit your curves in a way that made sure he'd have to walk around with a semi and adjust his pants for the rest of the day.

"Sure thing. Your place?" Clyde nods and gives you a time and address.

--------

The next several weeks were filled with endless princess gatherings, storytelling from faraway lands, coloring for hours on end, and whatever adventure Lyla would conjure up that day. She warmed up to you almost instantly; things were going great. Better than great, sometimes, you had to question if this was really your job with how much fun you were having. Lyla was witty, smart, and had an imagination to be envied. She seemed so free and unapologetically herself in the best way. You could tell she had been raised with an unconditional love any kid could only dream of. It wasn't like the occasional meltdown didn't take place from time to time, being a toddler and all. But you always find a way to bring that smile back to Lyla's face.

Things with Clyde hadn't simmered down in the slightest. Every interaction, every glance, every accidental touch had your yearning growing. Every moment spent together allowed you to quietly admire something new about him. The way his chest filled out those t-shirts he often wore, his hair that begged to have your fingers tangled in it, or even how he pursed his lips in that way that had your core clenching whenever he spoke. Not to mention, seeing him with Lyla made your knees weak. This gentle giant's soft demeanor melted your heart while twisting your insides in the most delicious way. Still, Lyla kept you more than busy; otherwise, you'd spend your days daydreaming about Clyde Logan. Today was no different. Building forts and baking cookies had been the first thing on the itinerary, and knowing Lyla, there was always more to come. When she'd finally fallen asleep watching Cinderella on the couch, you carefully tucked her into her bed and quietly exited the room, shutting the door just as Clyde entered the trailer.

"Hey." You whispered as Clyde set down his stuff and went to the kitchen. "I just put her to bed."

"Thanks. Sorry, 'M late. Bar kept gettin' crazy n' I just couldn't get away. It's-" You cut him off by placing a hand on his arm, feeling him tense under you.

"Clyde, it's okay. That's what I'm here for, remember?" You winked at him before walking toward the kitchen to put away the rest of the dishes. Clyde headed to the fridge and pulled out two beers. Your cheeks warmed, watching him lean over with one sturdy arm on the fridge door, the muscles on his back rippling under the worn-down t-shirt while the two bottles fit snuggly in his large hand. Get it together, you told yourself, forcing your gaze away.

"Beer?" Clyde gestured toward you. "I was jus' gonna have one on the porch." The words tumbled from his mouth without realizing. He knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn't help himself. You looked all comfortable, your books and blanket on his couch, standing here in his kitchen, in his home, moving around like you belonged there. But Clyde wasn't stupid; his head was definitely playing tricks on him. There wasn't a universe that existed where a woman as beautiful as you would be interested in a guy like him, and he understood that. Now the only problem was keeping his heart and dick in check long enough to be professional. 

The night sky was decorated with stars against the black abyss, quiet and still. Just the two of you sitting in comfortable silence. Clyde followed you outside, shutting the door quietly. You sat beside him, legs folded comfortably in the porch chairs as he handed you a cold beer. 

"So, how was everythin'?" He said before taking a swig of his beer, the soft rumble of his voice activating those darn butterflies in your stomach already.

"Great. Pretty sure she tried on every princess dress in her closet and saw Frozen at least ten times. We danced, sang, and even built a fort." You found yourself smiling at the memory of Lyla with a mismatched dress and crown belting 'Let It Go' with you while jumping around her room. "Same old, same old."

"Mhm." Clyde relaxed further into his seat. The more time you spent with him, the more apparent it became that he was a man of few words. Still, you appreciated the ones he was willing to share with you. 

"It was a good day; it always is." You noticed Clyde stretched his left arm before him as if irritated by it. 

"Mind if I take this off?" The words tumbled out before Clyde could stop them, the beer loosening his tongue. Clyde wasn't sure why he suddenly felt comfortable enough around you to remove his prosthesis. He was pretty sure the people closest to him hadn't even seen him without it. Although it shouldn't surprise him, his sense of ease around you only grew within the last couple of weeks.

"Go ahead." Clyde hesitated for a second, then carefully removed his prosthetic, massaging the tender spot. Your eyes scanned the newly exposed skin. "Does it hurt?" Clyde paused his movement and huffed. You cleared your throat, the day's exhaustion clearly eliminating whatever filter you had left. "Sorry. I didn't mean to-forget I said anything." 

"'S alright. Served two tours n' ended with this. 'N no, not really, not all the time, at least. Jus' bothers having this thing on all day." You nodded, understanding it was something still difficult for him to talk about.

"You don't have to ask, you know? To take it off. I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable for no reason." Clyde smiled while nursing his beer. When he looked over, he found your eyes tracing the scars left behind on his arm. Clyde reached for his sleeve, suddenly feeling the need to cover up, before you placed your hand on his arm, stopping him. "Is this okay?" Clyde gulped and gave a slight nod. He wasn't sure if it was the exposed flesh or how vulnerable this whole thing felt, but he swore he could feel every nerve on his body light up under your touch. Your fingers lightly outlined the scar for a moment before you smiled at him, settled back into your chair, and sipped your beer. 

"Mellie dropped by today, and I meant to ask you if I should know of anyone coming by to see Lyla other than your siblings. Friends maybe? Her mom?" You snuck in that last part before you could stop yourself; the last thing you wanted to do was overstep. But you were curious. Lyla never mentioned her, and you didn't notice any pictures of her around the house. Was she a good mom? Was she pretty? She had to be to be Lyla's mom. Did she still hang around? Would she like you hanging around? Maybe she wouldn't want you getting all close to Clyde. Hush that is none of your business, you told yourself.

"Lyla's mom isn't in the picture. Never was. She jus' about dropped Lyla at my doorstep 'n we never heard from her again. Didn't want nothin' to do with her or me, said so in the letter she left." His words spliced across your heart, and tears welled in your eyes for the little girl sleeping soundly inside. Just thinking about someone walking away from an angel like that with such carelessness had you wanting to find this woman with your fist immediately.

"So, you two never?" Clyde shook his head almost as if you'd insulted him.

"It was a one-time thing. A drunken night full of bad choices, 'N then she disappeared. Popped back up again with Lyla, and that was it. Letters last I heard from her." Clyde said. "Not that I wanted her to come back. I don't. We've been jus' fine just us two." 

"I don't doubt that for a second." 

-----------

The following Sunday morning came with blue skies and warm summer air. Clyde insisted you'd take Sundays for yourself, although you weren't sure why. It's not like you had any other friends around here besides Mel, not to mention a social life being out of the question. When you weren't with Lyla, plans usually consisted of staying at home with a good book and getting chores done. You were gathering your things to lay out in the sun for a bit when Mellie called about being overbooked at the salon and Clyde having an emergency at the bar and asked if you could watch Lyla for the day. A few minutes later, you managed to put together an easy picnic basket, threw a shirt and shorts over your bathing suit, and headed out the door.

A short drive and only two knocks on the trailer later, Lyla ran out, wrapping both arms around your legs in a tight hug. She quickly pulled you inside to find Clyde sitting on the couch with cartoons playing faintly in the background. 

"Hi." The morning rasp in his voice had your chest tightening and face flushing. He wore a faded t-shirt and simple dark gray sweats that you had to fight not to stare at. "I tried callin'. Ya didn't have to come, everythin's been takin care of."

"Oh. My phone must still be on do not disturb from last night or something. I was gonna take Lyla to the lake for a picnic and maybe a swim." Lyla's face immediately perked up as she squealed excitedly.

"I'm gonna go get my swimsuit on!" She yelled as she tried to run off into the hall before Clyde stopped her.

"Now, sunshine, today's her day off."

"What's that mean?" Lyla's disappointment grew along with the pout on her face. 

"Means she's got stuff to do, stuff she's gotta get done today. She'll be back tomorrow, hm?" Lyla reluctantly nodded as Clyde placed a kiss on her forehead.

"Well," you interjected, unsure if it was your place to say something, but there was no way you could stand by and disappoint Lyla like this, especially when spending your days with her had become your favorite thing to do. "If it's okay with your dad, I'd love some company. I can't eat all these PB&J's and snacks I packed alone now, can I?" Lyla looked toward Clyde. A mix of 'please' and 'please, daddy' flooded Clyde's ears before reluctantly giving in to his daughter's whim. Lyla sprinted toward her room to change, mumbling something about showing her water tricks, making you chuckle.

"You're welcome to join us. I packed plenty of food, and it's too nice of a day out to stay inside." Clyde contemplated for a moment. Just the thought of seeing you prancing around in the water in a skin-tight bathing suit had his pants tightening uncomfortably. He wasn't sure he could control himself. But he had the day off and sure as hell didn't want to spend it without his Sunshine. Plus, he wasn't entirely comfortable with the two of you alone by the creek in the woods. It would be safer if he went with you. At least that's what he told himself as he agreed and slipped away to change into his water shorts.

The drive over to the creek went a little faster than usual, thanks to you and Lyla singing along to some of her favorite songs. Clyde spent the entire ride concealing a smirk at the sight of both of you breaking into song and then into a fit of giggles once one of you would get the words mixed up. Once you'd arrived, Clyde wasted no time unloading the truck and helping a restless Lyla get out of her seat. You found the perfect shady spot to set up the blanket and laid out some things from the picnic basket; once satisfied, you set your shorts and shirt to the side and settled in. Lyla wasted no time hitting the water, barely letting you slather some sunscreen before sprinting off with her floatie. You sat by the shore with your book, watching her splash around. The cool water around your legs is a nice relief from the sun's warmth on your skin. Clyde sat back against the tree, keeping his eyes on the two of you. He couldn't help but imagine if this was what it would be like—having someone by his side sharing moments like these with Lyla. 

The afternoon passed far too quickly. A blur of splashes and fits of laughter ended with a sleepy Lyla slung on her dad's shoulders as you packed everything back into the truck and headed out. As the sun dipped below the horizon, the fleeting colors of dusk began to fade away. Only the rumble of the truck and crickets chirping surrounded by the night sky remained. Lyla's soft snores could be heard from behind as you glanced over at Clyde. The soft moonlight reflected off his skin, hair still slightly damp from the creek. His eyes were trained on the road ahead, but you could tell something was on his mind as he chewed on the inside of his cheek.

You sat comfortably on the passenger seat, your thigh dangerously close to his hand resting on the gear. His fingers itched to reach over, wondering how soft your flesh would feel under his touch. No matter how hard it was to keep a calm facade, he couldn't help but recall the silky skin over your bathing suit top, curves he would kill to trace every inch of it with his tongue teasing him from every angle. Even the way your teeth caught on your lip in the most sinful way was driving him insane. Everything about today was driving him insane. Not to mention watching you with his Sunshine. How you'd dramatically play along to every scenario Lyla created until you were nothing but a fit of giggles, watching in awe as you smothered her in hugs and kisses every time she'd swim into your arms. His sunshine was an affectionate girl, don't get him wrong. But she sure as hell didn't open up easily to strangers, yet here you were, winning her over from day one. Clyde shook away the ache in his heart at the thought as he redirected his attention back to the road.

A short while later, you'd arrived back at Clyde's. He hopped out of the car just after you did, carrying a passed-out Lyla in his arms into the house. You stayed outside, wondering if you should wait for him to return or count your losses and hurry home. Before you could make up your mind, Clyde appeared and shut the door quietly behind him, leaving the two of you uncomfortably close on his front porch.

"Thank ya for today." The faulty lamp above you did little against the night.

"It's no problem," you said before a silence fell between you. The dim light accentuated his nose and the plumpness of his lips in the most beautiful way. His eyes drifted up to yours as you took a tentative step toward him. Your heart began to pound, chests nearly pressed against one another, feeling a familiar desire spread in your core. Clyde's breathing grew heavier, suddenly aching to get you closer.

Just as the longing became unbearable, he closed the gap between your mouths, first with the utmost gentleness, then with the hunger of a starved man. You made a delicious little sound and responded with the same fervor, sparking a fire in his belly. He didn't want it to stop. The warmth of his mouth had you melting into him. Your lips parted slightly as his hand came up loosely at the side of your neck, holding you close.

"Daddy!" Lyla's distant voice rang in your ears. Clyde pulled away suddenly; a rush of frigid air replaced the warmth where his body was pressed up against you. It was as if a bucket of cold water had been poured over the two of you, snapping you back into your harsh reality. Lyla began to cry from what was probably a nightmare. Clyde sighed as he looked toward the front door and back to you. You cleared your throat and wrapped your sweatshirt tighter around, unable to look him in the eye after he'd practically kissed you dizzy.

"I should go. Goodnight, Clyde." You offered him a warm smile and dashed to your car before he could say anything else. Clyde stood with his head slightly hung, ensuring you were safely in the driver's seat before heading inside. You lowered the windows in an attempt to let the humid summer night air free from inside, hoping a little fresh air would snap you out of whatever trance Clyde had just put you under. Butterflies swarmed in your stomach as you ran your fingers along your lips, the ghost of his kiss still buzzing through you on the drive home.

[absolute-flaming-trash]

For my fellow readers with sleeping issues.

Pairing: Yandere!Mahito x Reader

SFW

Word Count: 2′557

Warnings: Yandere, Stalking, Sleep deprivation, Insomnia, Mindbreak if you squint, Noncon touching, Implied kidnapping.

“I swear to fucking god...”

You grabbed the bottle of melatonin off your nightstand and held it closer to your face, as if it would magically change the outcome of your current events.

You were tired. Painfully so. Insomnia was that bitch in your life that dangled the promise of sleep just out of reach, and would laugh at each and every failed attempt you’d make to get it.

The instructions on the off-white label were practically memorized by you at this point, but you still read them anyway on the off chance you had missed something.

‘Allow 1 tablet to dissolve under the tongue once per day or as directed by a physician. Recommended to reset circadian rhythm and for those with delayed sleep phase disorder’

You threw the bottle at the wall in frustration, ignoring the rain of pills that showered down after impact. You’d clean it up later.

It wasn’t enough. The “Extra Strength” claim on the label was nothing more than marketing bullshit since you had already taken three pills, and they had done fuck all. The tears of said frustration weren’t far behind, but you quickly wiped them away with the back of your hand. You were tired as hell, yeah, but nothing worth crying over just yet. It had only been about…

You counted the hours on your fingers.

...About a day and a half.

You frowned. That couldn’t be right.

You did it again, only to arrive at the same answer.

“God damnit!”

Your aggravation was emphasized with the slam of your bedroom door behind you. You were still in PJ’s, but fuck it. It was 3am and hardly anyone would be out anyways. You were going for a walk, since maybe that would actually do something for you.

You didn’t even bother to grab a jacket on your way out the front door.

The air was warm this time of year, despite it being so late… or early, depending on how you wanted to view it.

The city and all its concrete soaked up the heat from the sun during the daytime, and it would radiate it back out once the sun had set - allowing for a 24 hour rotation of heat that made you feel like a fucking rotisserie.

You smirked a little to yourself. Another thing to blame your sleep troubles on.

Like you suspected, there was hardly anyone out. The most activity you saw was at the back door at bars where the employees were locking up for the night,  or at restaurants, where the work day had only just begun

You had no destination in mind as you walked. Thinking about one required too much effort, and you didn’t have the energy to contemplate such a thing. Besides, what good would it do to have one anyways if the point was simply to wander? Having one would make no sense.

After what felt like an hour, the ache in your feet had begun to override the blissful nothingness previously occupying your mind, and you leaned to rest against a stone wall that had been on your left side for the past little while.

Only then you noticed the significant drop of temperature in the air, and you looked around.

You weren’t in the city anymore.

At least not obviously. You were surrounded by vast amounts of green - illuminated only by the dull yellow lights that lined the paved walkway you stood on. It made the foliage that wasn’t touched by said light feel that much darker.

But it wasn’t just the lighting that made the atmosphere shift in the way it did.

No, something felt off. Similar to the sensation of being in a government building you had absolutely no business being in - but far more sinister. Goosebumps peppered your skin once you realized what it was.

Silence. Complete and utter silence.

Even the small ravine next to you seemed to make no noise.

You turned on your heel and headed back the way you came.

“Leaving so soon?”

A shriek accompanied the startled jolt of terror that shot up your spine. You whipped around expecting to find someone, only to be met with the darkness of the path.

“Hello?”

Nothing. Not even crickets answered you.

You chuckled nervously, not sure of what to make of your situation. You knew sleep deprivation, if pushed long enough, could result in hallucinations, but you didn’t think you were that far gone just yet. That was only supposed to happen after two days without sleep.

A fact, you realized with growing horror, that could already be a reality.

You resumed walking - a few steps backwards at first before you turned and faced the proper way to accommodate the hurry in your steps.

You weren’t sure of exactly where you were, but if you followed the walkway it would undoubtedly lead you to a better lit area where you could get your bearings and figure out a way back home.

Your hands made a motion to enter a pocket that didn’t exist, and you were reminded of the fact you had neither brought your jacket with you, nor your phone.

God, you were an idiot.

“You’re going the wrong way.~”

Okay, what the fuck.

You stopped again and listened as hard as you could despite the roar of blood in your ears. The temptation to call out again to the voice was there, but you immediately thought the better of it.

Not wanting to stick around longer than necessary, you began to speed-walk..

The path felt endless. The foliage you passed felt the same, and the bridge you were about to go under felt way too familiar. A part of you hoped the familiarity was due to having seen it on your way in, and not because you were actually lost.

Eerie laughter from somewhere in the darkness did absolutely nothing to ease the palpable fear crawling in your skin, and a whimper slipped past your lips.

That was definitely not a hallucination.

The bridge felt akin to a checkpoint once you were under it. It was by no means safe, rather safer. You felt a lot less exposed to the trees - the iron supports acting as a comforting barrier to the outside world; even if logic dictated you were no less exposed than before.

Your slowed steps echoed quietly off the metal as you weighed the pros and cons of venturing further down the path. The unknown danger was by no means gone, but the promise of the coming dawn along with the temporary, albeit probably false, sense of security tempted you to stay put.

You cautiously poked your head out from the safety of the bridge and listened again - waiting for more laughter - or anything else, really.

“Where the fuck are you…”

“Here.”

You froze. Deer in the headlights as you slowly turned to face the owner of the voice no more than three feet behind you.

There was something so incredibly unsettling about the way he looked at you. He was smiling, yes, but there was something so Uncanny Valley about it that it had all instincts screaming at you to do one thing, and one thing only.

Run.

“Hey.” He said, far too casually.

Your eyes flicked over his appearance - lingering much longer than intended on the numerous stitches that ran across his face.

When you accidentally locked eyes with him, you gulped.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing.” You began, “But I want you to leave me alone.”

The stranger raised his eyebrows, his three sections of pale blue hair falling to the side as he tilted his head curiously.

“What, no ‘hello’ back? That’s quite rude of you.”

You laughed, but there was no humour in the sound whatsoever. “My apologies. Please leave me alone.”

“I heard you the first time.” His expression fell into one of boredom while he flicked a piece of lint from his shirt. He clicked his tongue when his eyes came back to yours. “You’re out late, aren’t you?”

Your smile was all nerves. “I suppose.”

He hummed in acknowledgement and continued to look at you. Eventually he bowed ever so slightly towards you, but you couldn’t help but feel it was completely ingenuine.

“My name is Mahito.”

You smiled thinly. “Pleasure.”

He grinned and resumed his full height with a hand on his hip. “I didn’t catch your name.”

“That’s because I didn’t give it.”

The lull of silence that fell between you was nothing short of awful, and you flinched when he finally laughed. It was sharp as it echoed across the underbelly of the bridge.

“Well, aren't you cute?”

“Not really.”

Mahito ignored your answer and leaned in closer, if that were even possible. “I think you are.”

You felt like you were going to be sick on the spot. “Thanks…” You cleared your throat awkwardly. “But if you’d pardon me, I’d like to go home now.”

You went to step around him, but his movements mirrored yours - keeping the path behind him blocked.

“Now? We only just started talking.”

His exaggerated pout made you feel a nauseating combination of pissed off and afraid. “Yes. Like you said, it’s very late.”

“So why are you out here?”

“That’s my business.”

“Trouble sleeping?”

Time stood still after he said that, and the anxiety must have shown clearly on your face because his smirk only widened. “I read humans have issues with that.”

Humans. Not ‘people’. Humans.

Your brow furrowed and you moistened your lips before you spoke.

“We do.” You said slowly, “But what makes you think I do?”

“You threw your sleeping pills against the wall, I’d say that’s a clear sign you’re still having issues.”

If the world didn’t stand still before, it certainly did now.

Unlike before, he wasn’t smirking. He said it as it was - a fact. Neutral expression and everything. It only served to make the drop of your heart into your stomach feel like freefall.

You opened your mouth to speak, but the words came out as a stutter.

Mahito watched your face the entire time you struggled with yourself and used the moment to nonchalantly walk closer to you - debris crunching quietly under the soles of his bare feet as he did.

“...Still?”

He grinned and reached out to push a strand of your hair out of your face with a single finger. “Bottle says to see a doc after you use it for more than four weeks, I’d say you’re pushing it.”

You flinched back from him before he could touch you, repulsed. “Who the fuck are you?”

“I told you, I’m Mahito.” He sighed and looked skyward for a moment, mumbling to himself. “Although I suppose sleep deprivation can result in problems with short-term memory…”

The tautness in your chest increased, and each breath became more difficult to suck in. It was all too much at once, and his complete dismissal of how goddamn creepy he was being only served to add to the fear.

He had been watching you, and clearly had been for a while. A fact only made worse by the knowledge that you hadn’t the faintest idea the entire time it had been happening - however long that had been.

“Did-” You cringed at the way your voice caught in your throat. The croak-like noise brought Mahito’s attention back to you immediately. “Did you follow me here?”

He cocked his head again to the side, “You shouldn’t ask questions you know the answer to, it’s not polite.”

You wanted to fucking cry.

You didn’t know what to do. Honest to god, you had absolutely no idea what to do or say anymore after a response like that because what was there to do?

You were alone. In the middle of a place you had never been with a person you had never met - one who was clearly out of their fucking mind.

Mahito giggled and he reached out to touch you again. “Your soul is trembling, am I making you nervous?”

Frankly you had never been more afraid in your life, and something in your brain snapped when his fingers made contact with your skin.

You ran.

Fight or flight was one hell of a bodily response. Gone was the tightness in your chest and back was the roar of blood in your ears as you sprinted down the path. The boost of adrenaline served its purpose - allowing your muscles to take on the inordinate amount of strain required to get you as far away from danger as possible.

A prospect that you didn’t expect to succeed as much as it did.

There was a large part of you that expected to get hit from behind - to go from hauling ass to eating shit in a matter of seconds, but it never happened.

No, what did occur was far, far worse.

There was an earth-shattering crash before the world disappeared. You had enough time to slap your palms over your ears before the scenery around you was literally pushed out by impossibly large, ink-like hands.

Whatever hands didn’t wall off your only chances of escape were used to pull you into a kingdom of darkness.

When you looked up, you didn’t see stars in this warped cosmos - only thousands of hands linked together in seemingly random patterns. There was no logic, only the horrific truth that solidified itself the more these hands clasped themselves together above your head.

You were trapped.

Even still, a part of you wondered if you were really here. If this was truly something happening to you of all people, and not some sick, horrendous nightmare conjured by several doses of melatonin at once.

That would make the most sense, wouldn’t it? That you were trapped in your mind rather than whatever horrors in front of your eyes - and it would only take a pinch of your skin along with  the will to wake up to set yourself free.

But any hope of that was shattered by the call of your name and the feeling of a hand on your shoulder.

He knew your name. Of course he did. It would be incredibly stupid to think he wouldn’t if he had really been following you for as long as he alluded to. He had only been playing dumb beforehand so you would offer up your name to him freely.

On top of everything else, he was a fucking hypocrite.

You let him turn you freely - offering little resistance as he had you face him once more, and he cupped your face in his hands. You closed your eyes, unable to deal with the intensity of the blue and gray staring into your soul.

“Normally I hate this, but I have to thank you.” He murmured, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “The pills were only meant to wear you down. Coming out here… you made this easy for me.”

The burn of hot tears behind your lids worked as an incentive to keep them shut, and you bit your cheek hard - hoping that the taste of your own blood would keep you grounded enough not to break in front of whatever creature that held you in its grasp.

But unlike Mahito, you were only human.

And you tasted salt when cold lips pressed to your own.

© absolute-flaming-trash 2023. Do not repost, modify, copy, or claim.

Taglist: @sai-my-beloved, @we-are-so-close, @biby-24k, @forcefulkitten​, @siphite​, @meefy​, @liquorishred​, @kateaesthetic​ 

[ladykailitha]

If I Rescue You, Will You Rescue Me, Too? Part 3

Steve learns the fate of the party and Jeff is a good dude. And Wayne is bestest, but y’all knew that.

Part 1 Part 2

*

The doctor waited patiently for everyone to file out.

“Steve,” he said, “I’m Dr Hathaway. If you would like Mr Wayne Munson to hear your prognosis, would you please sign these?”

Steve looked over at Wayne and then back at Eddie. They both shrugged. But it made sense. Since Steve was sharing a room with Eddie Wayne would be there anyway.

He carefully read each document and then signed them both. He handed them back to Dr Hathaway.

“Right, thank you,” he said. “You’re doing fine. The wounds on your side and chest are healing nicely. There is no infection and didn’t require stitches. We would have liked to have made that decision ourselves. Two days ago. When you got them.” He raised an eyebrow at Steve, who blushed.

“Was kinda running for my life at the time,” Steve murmured.

“So I’ve been read in,” Dr Hathaway said.

Everyone in the room visibly relaxed from the unknown tension of how much they could say to the doctor.

“We will be keeping you overnight for observation to monitor your hydration and sugar levels,” he continued. “When you were brought in you were dehydrated with a low blood sugar. I understand that with being on the access to food and water was probably scarce but,” Dr Hathaway jutted his thumb at Eddie, “he had better hydration and nutrition then you did.”

Eddie’s eyebrows shot up. “Didn’t you eat at all?”

Steve flushed. “I may have forgotten...”

“I swear to god, Harrington,” Eddie growled, “when I get out of this hospital bed I am going to kick your self-sacrificing ass.”

Dr Hathaway hid his grin with his clipboard. “I think you’ll have to take a number and get in line. I believe there are two young ladies and about a half of a dozen teenagers that are chomping at the bit to do exactly that.”

Eddie chuckled. “Then I will happily wait my turn.”

Steve looked to Wayne for support. He didn’t even know why. It just...felt right.

“Don’t worry,” Wayne said fondly, patting Steve’s hand, “I’ll make sure they don’t kick you too hard.”

Eddie cackled and the doctor huffed a laugh.

“Savages,” Steve said with a pout.

“If your vitals are good tomorrow,” Dr Hathaway said, clearing his throat, “you’ll get to be release from our care.”

Steve sighed happily. “Thank you, Dr Hathaway. That’s good news.”

The doctor stepped over to Eddie. “Now, you are the one we are most concerned with.”

Eddie looked down at his many bandages and nodded. “With any luck you’ll be out of here in a week. Without luck, two.”

“What’s the prognosis, Doc?” Wayne asked.

“The wounds were clean and well bandaged,” Dr Hathaway said. He turned to Steve, “I understand that was your handiwork?”

Steve nodded. “I was trained in CPR and first aid when I was a lifeguard at the community center.”

Dr Thompson nodded. “You did a good a job, you probably saved his life.”

Eddie and Wayne shared a shocked glance.

“What do you mean?” Eddie asked as Steve shifted uncomfortably in his bed.

“The bite to your throat was within milometers from your carotid artery,” Dr Hathaway explained, “if Steve hadn’t done such a good job with the bandaging, there is a real possibility you would have bleed out before you got to us.”

Wayne took Steve’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Thank you,” he whispered.

“The wounds on the arms are bad, but the leather jacket, which I am told you were wearing, lessened the damage,” Dr Hathaway continued. “It will take a lot of healing and probably some serious physical therapy but you’ll be fine. We’ll see. Now that you’re awake, I’ll set up an appointment with the physical therapist and see what needs to be done.”

Eddie nodded. “What about the bites on my legs?”

The doctor looked at his clipboard again and hummed. “Very minimal damage. You have a bite on your left thigh and another on your left calf but for whatever reason they weren’t able to get through the wet denim.”

Eddie laughed. “Armor, the only good thing to come from wet fucking jeans. They are like the worst!”

Steve chuckled. “Agreed. It’s why I didn’t wear them when we found out about the Upside Down being back. They literally suck.”

“Do either of you have any questions?” Dr Hathaway asked. “Or you Mr Munson?”

They all shook their heads.

“Good, then I will let your friends come back in,” he said. He walked out and the Corroded Coffin boys shuffled back in.

“What happened to Robin?” Steve asked when she didn’t come in with them.  

“She went to go relay the information that you’re awake to ‘the party’ or whatever it was she said,” Jeff said.

Steve buried his head in his hands. “I’m going to be invaded...” he wailed.

Eddie laughed. “They’ve already come and seen me.” His grin slid off his face. “You and me weren’t the only ones that were hurt. Red’s in a coma.”

Steve’s breath caught. “Shit, I was so worry about everything else I forgot to see if anyone else was hurt. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Stupid!” He gripped his hair, chanting ‘stupid’ over and over again. Wayne was on him in an instant.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” he said, grabbing Steve’s hands and gently pried them from his hair. “Calm down there, kiddo! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

The other boys watched in pained silence as Wayne got Steve to calm down.

“Did anyone else get hurt?” Steve said through a ragged breath.

“Just us three,” Eddie said. “You did good, Stevie. I promise. The fact that out of eight of us, less than half got hurt? That’s a fucking miracle and you know it.”

Steve let out a whimper. “Only I’ve been hurt before.” He paused. “No, that’s not right. We lost Hop, too.” He let out a pained cry. “God, I’m so selfish.”

The room’s silence penetrated into ounce of space, even Jeff, Gareth, and Brian cottoned on to the fact that Steve was talking about something deeper, something darker then just an animal attack and the serial murders that caused a witch hunt for their friend.

“We’re alive,” Eddie murmured. “That’s the important part, I promise.”

Steve just curled up on his side and away from everyone else.

Jeff watched him for a moment, before he started talking with Eddie and drawing everyone’s attention away from Steve’s evident torment.

Wayne got up and moved his chair over to the other side of Steve’s bed and got close to his face.

“Boy, I’m gonna tell you something,” Wayne murmured. “And you better listen close, you hear?”

Steve nodded.

“Good,” he said. “I may have not fought off monsters and super powered humans, but I have fought in a war, so trust me when I say I know shit.”

“I’m–I was the oldest before Eddie came along,” he whispered back, “it’s my job to protect them.”

“Steve, you were running on empty with very little sleep I’ll bet,” Wayne said gently, “you did your best. And you saved my boy. I don’t know the girl that got hurt, I hear she was from Forest Hills, too?”

Steve nodded again. “Max Mayfield.”

Wayne pursed his lips. “Okay, yeah I know her mother. I had to break up fights between her and that husband of hers. Hell I had break up more than just fights. You know about that?”

“Her step-brother gave me my third concussion with a plate to the head.”

Wayne took Steve’s hand. “She’s going to be okay, because you made sure people were with her. It’s not your fault Jason Carver found them. From what I hear he had gone mad from the grief and was going to do whatever it took to put it to rights. Only the boy didn’t know he couldn’t fight the devil and win.”

“He didn’t even know it was the devil he was fighting,” Steve murmured, the tension from his body slowly seeping out.

Wayne brought Steve’s hand to his chest. “All of you kids knew the risks going into this. And the fact that you couldn’t turn to a single adult pisses me off more than I can possibly convey. That Wheeler girl told you lot having been fighting this for four years. You were a child Steve. Just like those freshmen are.” With his other hand he ran his fingers through Steve’s hair. “You shouldn’t have had to do any of this shit, but you did and all of you made it out alive. Alive, Steve. Alive.”

Tears ran down Steve’s face and he nodded. They were alive. And Vecna was dead. He just needed El to confirm it.

As if from his lips to god’s ear, there was a shy knock on the door. Everyone turned to see a girl with a shaved head peak into the room.

Steve sat up and Wayne sat back to avoid getting hit.

“Sorry,” Steve muttered. But he threw out his arms and suddenly the girl was in his arms.

“You’re safe,” he whispered, rubbing her head. “I’m sorry about your hair, sweetheart.”

“He’s gone, Steve,” she whispered back. “I can’t feel him anymore. He’s gone. But I don’t have hope, not anymore.”

He held her close. He knew what she meant. Every time they thought they were done with this bullshit, it came storming back in. “At least it only happens once a year, yeah? We’ll be ready if it comes back. But maybe no more moving across the country, huh?”

She chuckled wetly into his shoulder. She reared back with bright eyes and big smile. “I almost forgot, Joyce got Dad back.”

Steve blinked at her for a moment. “Hop? Chief Hopper is back?”

She nodded excitedly. “The Russians faked his death and kidnapped him.”

Suddenly the weight was lifted off Steve’s shoulders. The actual adults were back. He could relax now. He hadn’t lost anybody. Max just had to come out of her coma and everything would be fine.

It would all be fine.

Part 4  Part 5 Part 6 Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 12 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15 Part 16 Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20

Tag List: @anaibis @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @spectrum-spectre @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @goodolefashionedloverboi @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @messrs-weasley @val-from-lawrence @plyerice27 @thedragonsaunt @chaoticlovingdreamer @sapphirecobalt-1 @a-little-unsteddie @i-must-potato @danili666  @carlyv @rozzieroos @wonderland-girl143-blog @itsall-taken @justforthedead89 @whalesharksart 

[dragon-creates]

Five Times Jax and Pomni Share Dreams of Their Past Lives (And One Time Where They Remember)

Read on AO3

1/2/3/4/5/6

We're back with another chapter! I'm really glad you guys are enjoying this so far, I'm trying to aim for updating it every Monday but due to my personal life with college and work I might not be able to post on the dot but I'll do what you can, I hope ya'll can understand. Also, this chapter goes into Jax/Jack's and Pomni/Penny's childhood so I'm going to leave a trigger warning for child abuse, alcoholism, bullying and near death experiences. It's all only mentioned and it doesn't go fully into detail about it, but I wanted to let you guys know in case any of you are triggered by it. I'll let you know what it comes up by doing this; Jax's back story is going to be labeled (1) for when it starts and (2) when it finishes, while Pomni's will start at (3) and end at (4), I hope that's clear enough. Feel free to skip this if it isn't for you. Anyways, please enjoy!!!

2. Back To December

Normally, Caine blabbering non-stop about what shenanigans they would get up to usually left everyone with a mild headache and the urge to just move on with the day. However, this was the first time that Pomni and Jax were grateful for the ringmaster’s excessive chatter. Knowing that he was distracted by the sound of his own voice gave them more time to think about their dreams, or rather, trying hard not to think about them.

For Pomni, it had left her confused. After her incident with the exit doors and the void, she was beginning to surrender to the idea that she was truly stuck here. No past, no memories, no escape. She was nothing but a body of pixels, not able to do the things that would’ve made her human prior to everything. But now, after being told she wasn’t physically capable of doing it, she had her first dream since arriving. Everyone had told her that she didn’t require that basic human needs to survive anymore, wouldn’t that include dreaming? She just wanted to make sense of this nonsense world and find out its rules, and now it was being thrown out the window!

Then there was this ‘Penny’ girl, out of everything that confused her the most, it was her envy of the dream girl. It wasn’t like she was real, and that this ‘Penny’ actually had a life, had her own aspirations, even a sister who would protect no matter what. It wasn’t real, she wasn’t real, so there was no reason to be jealous. Though, she wondered if her life before the circus was similar to Penny’s, what were Pomni’s goals? What was her family like? What was her life like?

She briefly made eye contact with Jax during her internal rambling, realising and whipped her head back round once his gaze met hers. The fact that he reminded her so much of the ‘Jack’ person in her dream wasn’t helping. Granted, there were minor differences, but the way his voice sounded and the relaxed posture she always found himself in, it wasn’t hard for her mind to put the two side by side. Ugh why can’t my brain just be normal for one second!

Jax on the other hand was starting to get frustrated with all this. It was usually easy for him to not think about things he didn’t want to, like deciding whether or not he was in the mood to prank someone. So why can’t he get that stupid dream out of his head! He had already made his peace that he was never getting out of this multi-coloured hellhole, he was fine with it, nothing could be done about it. And then suddenly he just so happened to actually have a dream, something that according to Caine, couldn’t be done here.

But what frustrated him the most was that he couldn’t get Penny out of his head. This sweet yet anxious girl, with an adorable smile that somehow turned his insides to goo, as though he had witnessed that beautiful smile many times before. And her nervous rambling, how she stumbled over her words yet still managed to be so endearing, he wanted to berate Jack for scaring this poor girl, you know, if he actually existed. Which he doesn’t so just leave it alone!

He had noticed Pomni glancing at him before turning her head away so fast that he was surprised she didn’t get whiplash. He thought about her first day here, how terrified she looked, constantly looking over her shoulder to make sure nothing was out to get her, he also remembered how she would flinch at anyone coming near her. He wouldn’t admit this to anyone ever, but he felt bad for the jester, and maybe he was a little ashamed of himself for leaving her with Kaufmo, after all she seemed like the type to be afraid of her own shadow, kind of like Penny—

“And that concludes our adventure for today!”

Jax blinked as he looked up at Caine, the AI floating above everyone else, his eyes filled with manic and excitement. Was he seriously thinking about Penny for the whole day?! He really needed to get a grip on himself. Perhaps it was his tired state, but he was looking over at Pomni again, the jester still seemed to be afraid of Caine. After all, he did nothing but drag her all over the circus grounds when she first arrived – to the point where she threw up -, lied to her about an exit and did nothing to ease her into her new home. He knew Caine was a bit much at times, but it didn’t mean he had to like how the ringmaster treated the new arrival.

Although now he could take the time to get a proper look at her. She was small, but to be fair, he towered over everyone here, her eyes were big and wide, it was kind of cute how they widened at every new thing she saw, her hair was short, but he wondered what it would look like without her hat, maybe it would shine like Penny’s?

Hold on, when did he start thinking about Pomni like this?! And he was comparing her to Penny again?! “Ugh,” he put his face into his hands.

“Why Jax, dear boy!” Caine floated over to him, giving him a harsh pat on the back, “There’s no need to be so down about this adventure being over, after all, we’re having another one tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after that, and the day after-”

“Keep the repetition to yourself dentures,” Jax shoved him away, “I’m just tired, well, not that I can be tired here. I just wanna be alone right now.”

With that, he walked away, he could overhear Caine bidding everyone a goodnight before everyone else trekked back into their rooms. He felt someone bump into him from behind, he turned to see Pomni, nervously clutching her hands together as she backed up from him a bit. “Twice in a row today, huh pop-pom?” he smirked, “I’m starting to think you’re doing this on purpose.”

“No, no!” she cried, “That’s not the case, it was an accident I swear!”

It was pretty cute seeing her riled up, he was far too tired to even deny that part, he just wanted to go to his room. “Sure,” he replied, walking away.

Pomni watched him walk away. She wasn’t sure what was up with him today, ever since breakfast she was caught in her own little world that she failed to notice that Jax was also spacing out as well. Was that normal for him? After all, everyone else always said how he would find a way, whether big or small, to throw a prank. However, this didn’t seem like the rabbit that everyone was talking about. “Jax?”

He turned back to face her.

“Um,” she wrung her hands together, peering down at her feet before looking back up at him again, “Are you okay?”

Something shifted in his face before he shrugged, “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?” she asked, “I know I just got here, but if this is my new home now I wanna make sure everyone’s okay, including you.”

Jax shifted a little, the way she was looking at him, so sincere and not a hint of malice, those wide red and blue eyes searching him as though all his secrets were on display. He coughed, looking away before smirking again, “No need to be so soft on me toots, but I’m fine. I’m gonna go get some rest.” He then walked up to her, making the jester freeze as he towered over her, “You should too, after all you need to get some sleep if you wanna remain sane here. It wouldn’t be any fun if you abstracted so soon.” He tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, chills running up her spine and her making her cheeks blush hard.

He grinned once he got his desired reaction and with a final wink he strutted back to his room. He ignored the fluttery feeling in his heart, he was just teasing her, that’s all, its what he does best. It wasn’t like he did it because he was curious about what her blush would like, he definitely didn’t think that it also matched Penny’s.

Once Jax had shut the door of his room, Pomni raised her hand to where he touched her. She couldn’t believe that he did that?! Was it part of a prank that she wouldn’t find out until later? And that wink! Oh how that caught her off guard! That moment wouldn’t be leaving her head anytime soon. But the way he winked, why did it remind her of Jack…nope, she wasn’t going down that road any time soon.

As the two retired for the night in their respective rooms – after changing into sleepwear that Caine had specialised for everyone – Pomni and Jax tried their best to push any thought they had at the back of their minds. All they had to do was go to bed and everything would return to normal. Right?

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Jack huffed, steam rolling out of his mouth as he trekked to the coffee shop down the street, yup, November winter weather was certainly making its way. His normal bus had been cancelled, which meant he had to take a different one in a different area of town if he wanted to make it on time to college. Although, he was lucky enough to make it on time to the bus stop, and it just so happened to be near a local coffee shop. So with a shrug, he decided than rather staying outside in the cold with zero energy, he would at least try and warm himself up indoors with some caffeine to help wake him up.

When he walked in, he noticed that the shop was fairly empty with only one other person at the counter walking for their order. That was fine, he could wait, besides it smelt nice it here, with an aroma of cinnamon and vanilla filling the air, probably new drinks that were made for the festive season coming along.

He decided to go on his phone, texting a classmate of his to say he might be late when an angry squawk from the woman in front of him made him wince. It was far too early for this.

“How dare you!” the woman screeched, “It says here that I can get a free muffin if I buy a beverage and that’s exactly what I’m doing to do! I’m in my right don’t you deny me!”

“Ma’am please,” another voice whimpered, “That discount is expired, I’m really sorry but I’m afraid you’re going to have to buy both separately, there’s nothing I can do.”

“I’m not paying for this garbage! And you will give my discount, I deserve it! You are either going to give me what I want, or I will report you to your manager!” the woman slammed a hand down on the counter.

The noise made Jack finally look up, wondering what on earth was happening and then, there she was, it was Penny! He couldn’t believe, ever since Halloween he had trying to find a way to contact her. At first, he wanted to ask Winter if she had her number, but he didn’t want to come across as creepy by getting someone’s number without asking. He tried to look on social media for her, but again, that also came off as creepy. So instead, he decided to wait and let the moment come to him. But here was some random woman to ruin said moment, screaming in Penny’s face, the poor girl looking as though she was trying to hold back tears. He had heard many horror stories with untitled people mistreating those they thought were beneath them, he just didn’t think he would see it happen in front of him, especially to someone he knew. Penny was a sweet girl; she didn’t deserve this.

“Ma’am please, these are the rules I was told to follow, I’m just trying to do my job,” Penny whispered.

“Well you’re not being good at it, are you?!” the woman screamed, “I have connections you know! One call from me and I can get the manager of this dump to fire you!”

It was a meaningless threat, clearly a bluff, but it didn’t stop Penny from turning as pale as a sheet, attempting to take deep breaths to try and keep herself calm.

Alright, enough was enough. Jack already had enough of this woman, particularly after threatening Penny. He noticed that the woman was still holding her thermos of coffee, but just so happened to have the lid off. This is gonna be fun he thought with a mischievous grin, waiting until the woman was standing in the perfect position and bumped into her, spilling the entire beverage all over her cream jacket.

The woman gawked, turning slowly towards him with an enraged glare, “You have some nerve! Do you have any idea how much this jacket cost?!”

“Well judging how you also had to pay for that terrible haircut,” he pointed to her bob, or rather, the poorly cut mess that ended by her ears, “I’m guessing not that much.”

The woman spluttered, holding a hand to her head. It was then that Penny finally noticed him, her mouth agape as he sent her a smirk.

“You are going to pay for this!” the woman angrily stomped her foot, almost mistaking her for a toddler throwing a tantrum, “One call from me and I can make you grovel.”

“Well madam, my friend just so happens to know someone from the FBI, so one call from me and she’ll know not only how you threatened me, but how you also verbally abused her partner’s sister,” his brows furrowed, no hint of any type of humour, letting the woman know just how serious he was, “Yeah, I know the person who has been nothing but kind while serving you, I’ve met her sister and trust me, she won’t be happy about the things I overheard you say. I’m sure that’s something you don’t want on your hands now, is it?” It wasn’t a lie, Winter did know someone from the FBI...because she was that someone. It was how she and Riley met, with the two always being paired for cases and eventually caught feelings for each other.

The woman gulped; all confidence gone when she realised that she lost all control of this situation she believed she could easily weasel her way out of. She shook her head.

“Good,” Jack grinned, “Now here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re going to apologise to this nice lady here, pay for your drink, leave her a good tip and carry on with your day.”

The woman grimaced, knowing better than to try anything else. She took her purse out, getting out the cash that she needed to pay her drink, and a $10 bill to put in the tip jar. “I’m…sorry,” she said through gritted teeth to Penny.

The girl was still in shock over what happened, remaining in a trance as she watched everything go down. She blinked and faced the woman again, “O-oh it’s okay, have a nice day.”

The woman huffed as she stomped past Jack, grinning as he watched her leave with defeat. He turned to Penny, “Well, not how I’d think we’d meet again but it’s good to see you again Penny.”

“Y-yeah, good to see you too,” she still seemed spaced out, slapping her hands against her cheeks to try and get herself out of her daydream, “Sorry, sorry. It just took me by surprise seeing you again while dealing with that customer, then you came in and…oh my god, you actually did that?!”

“Well I couldn’t just leave her yelling at you,” he said, “It still bugs me how people can talk to workers like that.”

“I’m used to it by now, its not the first time I had to deal with an angry customer before,” she shrugged, “Besides, I could handle it, you didn’t need to do that for me.”

Jack walked up to the counter, “But you shouldn’t have to deal with that. Seriously, are you okay?”

At his question, her lips lifted into a small yet grateful smile, it was telling how customers like that affected her when she was having this type of response by someone showing genuine decency, “Yeah, I’m okay.”

Jack nodded to her answer, “So, this is my first time here, is there anything you recommend?”

“Are you sure?” she asked, “The menu’s right behind me if there’s something in particular you want.”

“Nah, its fine,” he rested his arms on the counter, “I don’t have any allergies or dairy intolerance. Surprise me.”

“Uh, yeah…yeah okay!” she grinned, already grabbing a red thermos cup – decorated with little Christmas tree for the season – “We have our holiday special, sweet but with a dash of spice. You’re actually the first customer to have it this year. Also, what size of cup would you like?”

“Large please, and I’m honoured,” he placed a hand to his chest dramatically, “Of course the ‘special’ drink is going to me, I am quite charming after all.”

Penny snorted as she started up the coffee machine, “Easy there, it just came out today and many people have had it years before you.”

“Ah, but you didn’t deny the charming part,” Jack leaned in a little bit closer, “Do you think I’m charming Pen?”

Oh god, where did the nicknames come from? Pull yourself together Penny, he probably has nicknames for everyone! The machine beeped; Penny pulled the cup away as she began to add the rest of the ingredient. “So, um, where you headed after this?”

Jack pulled back, he liked to tease but he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable, “Oh, I’m just heading to college. Buses got mixed up so I’m just grabbing something to keep me warm before I leave.”

“Oh really?” Penny perked up, interest filling her brown eyes, “What do you study?”

“Game design,” he answered, “It’s been something I’ve been interested in since I was a kid.”

Penny’s smile widened, leaving Jack a bit breathless. He would never get over how beautiful her smile was. “That’s so cool!” Penny marvelled, grabbing whipped cream and red and white sprinkles, “You must have so much fun doing that! Well, I don’t wanna assume but that sounds amazing! I mean, you probably have this whole world figured out in your head and figure out how to make it fun while fitting the story that’s been written and you have to capture every single detail to make it come to life, I mean, that’s gotta be a lot of work! At least I think it is, I don’t know about the whole video game world, oh god, I’m word vomiting again. Shit! I mean, shoot! I’m sorry, don’t tell my boss!”

The whole time, Jack couldn’t help but be in awe of her excitement. I mean, Winter and her family had always shown enthusiasm over his work and always found ways to support him. But why was it different with Penny? He didn’t know her other than what Winter told him about her, but it always left him intrigued of what Riley’s ‘mystery sister’ was like. In the short time he did know her, he found out that she was the sweet yet nervous girl that he wanted to know more about – he still felt bad about her fainting. The way she easily got ecstatic about what he did, it only made him want to know her more. When he noticed that she caught him staring, he coughed awkwardly, making her giggle a bit at his reaction, “No, its okay, I like hearing your quote on quote ‘word vomit’. And don’t worry, I won’t tell your boss.”

Penny looked up, hearing the sincerity in his voice. While it was true that she found him attractive when they met in the funhouse, it was this moment that reminded her why she hoped they would meet again. Despite his wit and cheek, this was a funny yet charming guy that she believed that she could find a friend in. She may or may not also have a small crush on him. She smiled at him, putting the last of the sprinkles on top of the whipped cream and closed up the beverage with the lid. “Here it is, one holiday special,” she beamed, handing him the thermos, “I hope you like it.”

She carefully deposited the warm drink into his hands, their fingers touching briefly before she quickly pulled away, supressing a blush. Jack lifted the drink to his lips, taking a sip, a gentle wave of cinnamon and sugar smoothed over all his senses, with a hint of cardamon and the sweetness of the whipped cream tying the whole coffee together. He hummed at the taste, it was just what he needed, “This really is Christmas in a cup.”

“I’m glad you like it!” she moved to the register, “That will be $3, are you paying with cash or card?”

“Card, thanks,” he pulled it out from his wallet, tapping the little machine and put it away once he heard the beep, “So, what are the rest of your plans for today?”

“Well, I finish my shift by lunch so after that I’ll be heading to my class,” she replied, “And you?”

 “I’ve got a longer day so its I probably won’t be home till late,” he sighed.

“Aw, poor thing,” she giggled. Jack wanted to savour that sound forever.

This is it, Jack! You’ve been waiting for a moment like this, ask her now! “Hey, uh, Penny?”

She looked up as she gathered his receipt, “Yeah?”

“So, I was wondering, if you ever wanted to catch up, like maybe go out for a coffee sometime?”

“Um, I work in a coffee shop,” she stifled a laugh.

“Right! Right, I mean like somewhere else that doesn’t have to be coffee specifically,” he rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, “Do you think I could have your number so I could contact you?”

She wasn’t able to hide her blush this time, she could feel it rushing from head to toe. “YES!” she slapped her hands against her mouth, “I mean, yes!” Why can’t I just react like a normal person?

“Great!” Jack was sure he lit up like the lights of a Christmas tree.

“Um, oh, here!” Penny pulled a pen from her pocket, writing down her number on the top of the receipt before handing Jack the little slip of paper, “Just put it into your phone and send me a text, but no cursed memes, got it?”

“Can’t make any promises little lady,” he smirked, pushing down the rushing swell of excitement when he saw the hastily written number in blue ink.

“Excuse me, little?” she crossed her arms over her chest.

“Well yeah, look at you, you’re basically pint sized!” he snickered.

“I am a normal height!” she scoffed, “It’s you who’s basically a giant!”

“Well I hate to break it to you little lady,” he was having way too much fun with this, “But you basically came up to my chin when we were in the funhouse, I think I’m already getting a neck ache looking down at you already.”

“Ugh, I regret giving you, my number,” She buried her face into her hands again.

“Too late now little lady!” he chuckled, pocketing the paper and walking out the door, “Oh and Penny, thanks for the coffee. I think I have a new favourite drink.” And person. He pulled out a $20 bill from his wallet, “Here, for your earlier troubles.”

He put the bill into her tip jar. Penny placed a hand on her hip, “Are you just trying to show up that last customer?”

“Of course not,” he denied, his grin said otherwise, “Only a petty person would do that.”

“Sure,” she snorted, “Now go, I don’t want you to be late for your class.”

“Don’t worry, my bus won’t be here till-” he looked behind him, panic filling his face as he noticed the bus begin to close its doors down the street, “-shit! Gotta go!”

He rushed out the shop, Penny clutching her sides as she laughed. If this is what the rest of their friendship was going to be like, she couldn’t wait for the ride.

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One Month Later

“Are you texting Penny again?” Winter appeared by Jack’s door, almost making him drop his phone against his computer desk, his headphones around his next while working on the last assignment before the holidays.

“Jesus Winter!” he exclaimed, “Where did you come from?!”

“Riley is visiting her sister for the weekend, so I’d thought to come visit and annoy you,” she grinned. Right, Penny had mentioned a while back that Riley would usually visit home when the holidays arrived. Even after moving in with Winter, the two were always welcome at Riley’s mom’s place when they had their annual leave. “My mom let me come up to see you, but you didn’t answer my question, were you texting Penny again?”

“I might’ve been,” he sent Winter a mock glare, “Didn’t realise you liked to snoop.”

“Oh please, as if you haven’t stuck into my room and messed with my shit, I still remember the centipede invasion,” she shuddered as she walked over to his bed, popping herself down, “You two are getting along pretty well huh?”

He noticed her soften at that last part, “Yeah, we’ve become pretty close.”

“To the point that you’ve been texting her ever since you got her number?” she raised a brow.

“Did your mom tell you that too?” he leant further back into his chair.

“Nope, just a lucky guess. And judging by the flustered look on your face I guessed right,” she laughed as Jack felt his already reddened cheeks.

“Wow, you’re just the worst,” he drawled sarcastically, but he was unable to hide a grin.

“But seriously though,” Winter sobered up, “I’m glad that you guys are getting along. Everyone else and I worry about you a lot since…you know…and I saw that you’ve been getting better with college, therapy and a job, but seeing stuff like this, I don’t know, it just reassures me a bit more. You’re basically like my brother, so I worry about you a lot. But you are doing okay, right?”

“Aww Winter, you do care!” he said, exaggerating his words. But he saw how Winter’s shoulders slumped, as much as the two teased each other, it was clear how much their emotional wellbeing meant to one another, “I’m doing better each day. I’ve actually talked to my therapist about Penny.”

Winter straightened back up right away, “Really, what did Andrea say?”

“I was basically telling her how we met and that we’ve been talking for the past month,” he chuckled a bit, “She was pretty shocked when I told her that I made Penny faint the first time I saw her. But other than that, I told her that while I’m glad I’ve met her, there’s something that’s been gnawing at the back of my head. Its just…Penny doesn’t know what I went through and there’s just this fear that she’ll feel like she needs to take on my problems once I tell her. I’m just scared that she’ll feel like she needs to ‘fix me’, I’ve met people like that and its always terrifying when they break themselves to help someone that doesn’t want to be helped.”

“But you do want to be helped,” Winter interjected quickly.

Jack nodded, “That’s what Andrea said. That and this; there’s a difference between supporting people through their hardships and putting the weight of the world on their shoulders. If Penny sees me, if she truly sees me, she’ll know that as well. But there’s also a part of me that’s afraid that she’s gonna run when I tell her what I went through, I mean I get it, but after this past month she’s someone I don’t want to lose.”

“Well it kinda goes back to what you said before, or rather what Andrea said before. If Penny truly sees you, then she’ll inevitably see the baggage as well,” Winter pointed out. “I mean, my family did. Did we run?”

Jack smiled, nothing smug, nothing playful, just a warm smile. “No, you all definitely didn’t put up with my bullshit, but you never ran…I don’t think I could ever repay what you and your family have done for me.”   

“Trust me when I say that Penny will do the same,” she affirmed, “She won’t quote on quote ‘fix you’, but she won’t run, not after knowing her and Riley through all these years.”

“Yeah,” he nodded before groaning, “God, why is being human so fucking complicated?”

“I have no idea! I’m still wondering how I’ve made it this far!” Winter exclaimed.

Jack shook his head, laughing. Winter gasped, making him stop, her face lighting up as though a lightbulb went off in her head, “Me and Riley were gonna go to the Christmas fair tomorrow, you should invite Penny! It could be a double date!”

“What?!” he nearly fell over in his chair, “Winter, I barely worked up the courage to get her number before seeing her in the coffee shop, what makes you think I’m able to ask her on a date?!”

“Well you don’t have to use word ‘date’,” she shrugged, “Just say that I invited you to come with Riley and I, so you were wondering if she’d like to go with you.”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously!” Winter grinned, “Come on, mom’s been telling me that when you’re not at college or work, you’re glued to your phone texting Penny. I never knew how much of a simp you were.”

Jack put up his index finger, “Number one, your mom’s a snitch,” he put that one down and then switched to his middle finger and pointed it to Winter, “Number two, fuck you for the simp comment,” he finished with his ring finger, “And three, even if its not a said ‘date’, I still don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t worry,” she reassured him, though her smile looked as though she was hiding something, “I’ll help you with what to say. Besides, I kinda need you to go to. I have…something I need to pick up for Riley and I want to get your verdict.”

“What is it?” he asked.

Winter bit her lip before pulling out her phone, scrolling for a moment before showing him a ring that she found on a jewellery store website. But it wasn’t just any ring, “You’re gonna propose to Riley!”

“Shhh!” she put a finger to her lips, “Not so loud, you dumbass! And yes, I plan on proposing on Christmas day. The place where I’m getting it from is near the fair, so I plan on picking it up then. So not only to I need your opinion, but I also need you, so Riley doesn’t figure anything out.”

“So I’m just the distraction then?” he placed a hand to his chest in a faux manner, “I’m hurt Winter.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Poor you and that,” she waved a hand dismissively, “But seriously, the fair is gonna be a good chance to get the ring sorted and for you and Penny to spend some time together without texting.”

Jack sighed. All in all this did sound like a good opportunity for everyone, but it still didn’t stop him from sweating buckets. However, he thought about Penny. How would her face look in the Christmas lights? What would be her favourite booths there? Would she get excited at the first fall of snow? So many questions ran through his mind, and he desperately wanted the answers to all of them. “Winter,” he grabbed his phone, “Help me ask Penny to the fair.”

“Yes!” Winter pumped her fist in the air and sat on the edge of the bed closest to Jack, “Okay, here’s what you’re gonna do…”

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“Come on Penny, let me win!”

“Its not my fault you’re bad at this game!”

Penny and Riley were bundled up in blankets in the former’s bed, dressed in ugly Christmas sweaters as the two punched each button and control on Penny’s Switch controller, the graphics and music of Mario Kart blasting from Penny’s TV in front of them, and Riley was losing badly.

“I bet you’re cheating!” Riley bit her lip in concentration, grunting as she watched her sister overtake her in the race.

“Nope!” Penny popped the ‘p’, “You’re just terrible!”

After a while of struggling and laughing, Penny eventually won the race, leaving Riley to curl up on herself in defeat. “No!” she cried.

“And that’s another win for Penny!” the younger sister cheered, “I’d ask if you wanna play again, but after losing ten times to me, its probably best I pass on that.”

“One day I’m gonna beat you at this game, I swear!” Riley huffed.

“Keep dreaming Riles,” Penny snickered, her sister doing the same as the hype died down.

“So,” Riley started, “Winter told me that you’ve been texting Jack for the past month?”

“Yeah,” Penny smiled, thinking back to that day, “He had to get a different bus to college, and we met at the coffee shop that I work at.” She stopped when she noticed Riley’s frown, as though she were deep in thought, “Don’t tell me you’re still mad at him about the funhouse?”

“I can’t help it,” Riley admitted, “Sure I’m not as mad as before, but when it comes to you and hearing about someone scared you so much to the point of fainting, some kind of kill instinct goes off in my brain.”

“Riley!” Penny chided.

“Not literally!” Riley interrupted, “Pen, you’re my baby sister, and both mom and I have seen what you went through. I know it’s not an excuse, but I can’t help but freak out if something happened to you. But I’ll admit it, I might have exaggerated a ­little bit towards Jack.”

Penny huffed, “A little?”

“Okay, maybe a lot,” Riley rolled her eyes.

“Well you don’t need to worry,” Penny took her sister’s hand in hers, “He actually defended me from a rude customer that day. Some lady was going off at me because I wouldn’t accept her expired coupon, and he stood up for me.”

“Huh,” Riley lent into the pillows, crossing her arms, “Now that I didn’t know.”

“See,” Penny repeated the action, leaning her head on Riley’s shoulder, “I know you’re worried, trust me I get it. There’s still a part of me that’s gonna be wary of everyone that isn’t you, Winter or mom. Hell it took me a while to warm up to Winter and realise that she wasn’t like…them…but I’m getting less afraid each day, its not easy, but I think Jack is a genuinely good person. Besides, I kinda of, well…like him.”

Riley inhaled, her eyes widening a bit, Penny snickering at the reaction before continuing, “Don’t give me that look. Listen, all I want from you is to support me with this, if he’s Winter’s best friend, then he can’t be this ‘big bad Jack’ you’ve made up in your head.”

Riley groaned as her sister laughed at the memory of Winter teasing her on the way back from the Halloween festival. “Well either way,” Riley continued, “I guess that was…nice of him for doing that. But it still doesn’t change the fact that if he hurts you, I will tear his eyes out, shove them down his throat, make him watch as I tear out his heart and bury him alive at the bottom of the ocean!”

“Riley, I love you and all, but if you ever get arrested, I’m not bailing you out of jail,” Penny admitted, her face and voice deadpanned.

“Fair enough,” the older of the two shrugged. Their lips keep trying and failing to not crack a smile, the sisters burst out laughing, howling until their sides hurt and they leant on each other for support.

Once all was quiet, Penny heard her phone ping from her beside table. She grabbed it, noticing the text was from Jack. She gasped.

“What?” Riley stiffened up, her stance sharp and ready to defend, “What happened?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Penny reassured her, leaning closer to her sister to comfort her, “Its Jack, he’s asking me if I wanna join him, you and Winter for the Christmas fair!”

“As if I wasn’t gonna be asking you anyway,” Riley mentioned, earning her a look from her sister, “Alright, sorry, I didn’t mean to be snippy. You really like this guy, don’t you?”

Penny nodded, if she weren’t sitting in her bed, she would be bouncing on her toes. “Yeah, I do. I haven’t felt this sure about liking someone in a while. It just feels right, and I wanna see where this is gonna go. I’m saying yes. But please, for the love of God, when we meet up with him and Winter, be nice.”

“I’ll try,” Riley gritted out, “For you, I know it seems that I’m being overbearing, but I do trust you with this. Besides, I’ll be able to keep my eye on him this way. But if he hurts you-!”

“I know, you’ll bury him alive or whatever,” Penny chortled, “How the hell are we related?”

Riley’s nose crinkled with a cheeky smile, “Beats me.”

“No, I don’t want you contacting me or the girls!”

The two turned to Penny’s door, it has creaked open earlier but the two were so wrapped up in their game to realise. Their mother Amber was standing out in the hallway, a woman in her early 50’s, tall and lithe with red hair like Riley and green eyes. There were small wrinkles by the corners of her lips and forehead, but her overall aura radiated her youth. Right now, she was on the phone, pacing up and down the hall in her pyjamas with a frustrated look on her face.

“How could you say that?!” she questioned the other person on the phone, “I’ve tried to get you help but you never offered to take it!” There was a muffled sentence from the other person, but it was enough for Amber to shake with anger. “David, listen to me when I tell you this, if you ever try to contact the girls, I will fucking end you! No, you don’t have any right! Not after what you did to Penny!”

She looked over to the door, her eyes widening with guilt when she saw Penny and Riley. She was about to say something else before the voice spoke up again, making her turn away. “No! I know you’ve been turning up at Riley’s place…I’m not gonna tell her that! If she doesn’t want to see you, she doesn’t want to see you!”

Penny buried herself into the blankets, emotions that she hadn’t felt since she was younger picking at the back of her head, threatening to invade. What did he have to call now? What else could he want? Why couldn’t he just leave them alone?

Riley noticed her sister’s internal panic, getting up from the bed and closing the door over, settling back into the bed and starting up Mario Kart again. “Come on, give me one more game,” she smiled at Penny, bumping her shoulder, “I bet I can beat you this time.”

It was a series of movements that her older sister had repeated ever since they were kids, habits that still affected them even when they entered adulthood. Nevertheless, Penny returned the smile and the two continued the game. Cheering and making fun of one another, soon, the phone call was forgotten.

.

.

.

“Nervous?” Winter asked as they two parked the car outside of Penny’s home, waiting for the sisters to come out.

“No, of course not, I’m as chill as the ice we’ve been getting,” Jack retorted, his words smoothing over the obvious dread he was feeling.

Winter hummed, “Sure, and I’m guessing that your hands are shaking from the cold…despite the air conditioning in the car.”

“Exactly,” he smirked.

“Hey, its gonna be fine,” Winter placed a hand on his arm, “All we’re gonna do is have a fun day out and see what we get up to. Besides, you don’t think I’m not nervous either?! I’m buying an engagement ring for Riley!”

Jack chuckled, “How are you feeling about that?”

“Both excited and about to shit myself,” Winter replied honestly, “Imagine what its gonna be like when I actually propose.”

“Good luck with that,” Jack snickered, even harder when Winter hit his arm.

The door to Penny’s home opened and the two girls exited the door with another woman who Jack guessed was their mother. “Hey!” Penny grinned as she climbed into the car with Riley, “Sorry if we took too long.”

“Nah, you’re fine,” Winter smiled, reaching over to take Riley’s hand and placing a kiss on it, “Its not as long as Jack’s two-hour baths so you’re fine.”

“Hey!” Jack gaped, Penny giggling at his response.

The older woman knocked on the window, hugging the cardigan she was wearing closer to her as Winter rolled her window down. “Hey, I’m Amber,” she waved to him, “I’m Penny’s mom, I just wanted to officially say hi before you guys left.”

“Yeah, I don’t think you had the chance to meet Jack yet, have you?” Winter pondered.

“That’s on me,” he said, “I’m sometimes a bit funny with other people, but I think I’ve seen you sometimes when you or Riley visit. Sorry if I’ve never introduced myself, its usually because I’m busy or-”

“-Or being a social recluse,” Winter finished for him.

“Winter, I swear to God!” he started, but stopped when he heard Penny’s laugh. How did it sound so lovely each time he heard it?

“Well its nice to meet you too,” Amber grinned, sharing a look with her youngest daughter before turning back to Jack, “You’re all Penny would talk about. So it’s nice to finally meet you.”

“Mom!” Penny cried.

“What?” Amber asked rhetorically, “I just wanted to get to know the guy that stole your heart. And he’s handsome too, good job baby.”

Penny brought her knees to her chest, mumbling into them, “Please just kill me now.”

“I’d like this conversation to end as well,” Riley butted in, glaring at her mother, “And I’d like my mom to stop scheming over my little sister please.”

Amber put her hands up in surrender, backing away from the car, “Okay, okay. Jack, make sure you bring Penny home safe, otherwise I won’t be able to control what Riley’s gonna do to you.”

Jack gulped when he heard the older sister crack her knuckles from the seat behind him, “Got it ma’am.”

“Winter,” She turned to the girl in the driver’s seat, “You take care of my other baby as well, alright?”

“You got it Ms Reed!” Winter gave the woman a thumbs up before placing her hands back in the steering wheel, “We’ll see you later!”

Amber waved as Winter started the car, waiting until it drove off before heading back inside, but before she went through the door, she faced back to where the car was sitting before. “Whoever’s out there, please give Penny a chance to be happy.”

.

.

.

“Wow!” Penny gasped, being the first to step out the car as soon as it was parked, “Look at this place!”

What was ahead could only be described as a winter wonderland. Many of the stalls there were decorated like Christmas trees or gingerbread houses, flashing lights of red, white and yellow were hung from each to toe of each building, the sweet smell of hot chocolate and other sweets roamed the air, there were minigames and the Ferris wheel was bright with multicoloured lights, and by the end of it all, the parade would begin along with fireworks.

Penny chittered, but there so no source of cold to make her react that way, there was nothing pure excitement fuelling her body. “Isn’t this incredible!” she called out to the others as they got out of the car.

“I’ve gotta say, they really went all out this year,” Jack walked up to her, marvelling the sight. Well, that and the way Penny shone just like each of the lights there.

“Okay, here’s what I think we should do,” Winter spoke up, “We’ll look at a few stalls and games, then we’ll break off into two, Jack will go with me, and Penny and Riley can go together-”

“Wait, why do you want to split up?” Riley asked.

“Oh, um, you know cause-” Winter stuttered.

“Because there’s this place that I’ve been pestering Winter to see,” Jack interjected, “I just think it would be pretty special to her so that’s why I wanted to take her myself.” He looked over to Winter, who was sighing with relief.

“Oh, yeah that’s fine,” Riley went over to her girlfriend, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, right so anyways,” Winter continued, “After that we should all meet up and check out the food, maybe a few more games, then we can stop and warm up with some hot chocolate at the café before the parade and fireworks.”

Penny grinned, “I think that’s sounds great.”

“I’m cool with that,” Jack nodded.

“It sounds great hon,” Riley placed a gentle kiss on Winter’s lips, the latter blushing before pressing her forehead against Riley’s.

“Okay,” Winter beamed, “Let’s go.”

They spent the next few hours doing just that. Jack quickly learned that while Halloween wasn’t Penny’s thing, Christmas definitely was. The way she bounced from stall to stall, admiring every little ornament and item they had for sale. She bought at least three bobbles, one bolt of new fabric – she squealed when she saw festive selection – and a new snow globe. Jack didn’t find himself minding one bit, just seeing her smile and as went into detail with every little thing warmed him so much that he couldn’t register the cold.

Riley and Winter were also having their own fun. Winter had dragged Riley into a photo session with statues of elves and reindeer, Winter had decided to place elf ears and fake antlers on Riley when she wasn’t looking before the photos, chortling at her bewildered reaction when Riley finally realised what she did.

There were many games to chose from as well, from balloon darts to ring tosses to even rides such as tilt-a-whirls, spinning teacups and bumper cars. Jack and Penny had settled on a high striker for their first game, with Jack determined to win and buy a stuffed bear for Penny. While he did get a good swing, it didn’t manage to reach the top. When Penny had her go, she swung the hammer as hard as she could, closing her eyes and bracing for impact as she hit the bottom, cheering when she heard the ring of the bell, and the prized bear was handed to her. What made it all worth it was the bewildered look on Jack’s face, both impressed and terrified of her strength.

The group had fun, taking photos, laughing and all around having a good time, but Riley didn’t let Jack and Penny out of her sight for a second. Perhaps she was being overprotective, and she knew Jack was a good guy before he and Penny met but did that stop her from wanting to keep her sister as safe as possible, absolutely not. She was pretty sure she was more protective over Penny than her mother, and she had seen how seriously Amber took her girls safety. After all, hell hath no fury like a mama bear.

Soon, when the time came, Jack and Winter split up from Penny and Riley, promising to be back as quick as they could while the two sisters decided to go on the Ferris wheel. Soon, the ring was picked up and boxed, secure in Winter’s bag as she and Jack made it back to the sisters, with Riley none the wiser of what her girlfriend had planned.

A while later, after two more stalls, four games and deliciously made crepes, the four made it over to the café and picked out a booth near the back. Winter placed her jacket on the plush seat, letting the warmth soak over her. “Well I think its time for a break,” she eyed Jack and Penny, smirking as a planned formed in her head, “Why don’t you two catch up, after all we’ve been a group since we came here, you two probably wanna talk a little bit. Riley, mind helping me with the hot chocolate.”

Riley’s protective senses came flooding back at the thought of Jack and Penny together, “Actually I-”

“-You’re helping,” Winter pulled her girlfriend out of her seat, with Riley sending a warning glare at Jack before walking away.

Now that the two were alone, they could finally have a moment without Winter and Riley hovering (especially Riley). “So, are you enjoying yourself so far?” Jack asked.

“Um, hell yeah!” Penny exclaimed, “I’m pretty sure that Christmas has been part of my DNA since I was a kid.”

Jack chuckled, “That far back huh?”

“Yeah,” Penny smiled.

Jack shuffled in his seat a bit, he had planned on telling Penny more about himself tonight, more in depth than any other conversation they’ve ever had, but it didn’t stop him from the fear running through his veins. But he had to tell her, he wanted to tell her. “Hey, Pen?”

“Yeah?” The girl looked up at him.

“Do you remember when you asked me how I first met Winter?” he gripped his jeans, bundling the fabric in his hands.

“Oh, yes I remember that” she remembered the nervous flicker, there definitely more there but she didn’t want to pry, since they had only met that day on Halloween, “Why?”

“I, um, there’s a bit more to it than I said,” he gulped, “And I wanted to tell you once we got to know each other a bit more, but since we’ve known each other a bit more this past month, I wanted to tell you the full thing.”

“Of course,” Penny straightened, ready to hear everything he said, good or bad, “Just, if you feel like you can’t tell me everything don’t feel like you need to keep going.”

“Right, right. Sorry I just…”

“Take your time,” Penny spoke softly, “You don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to.”

(1)

“I do, it’s just, really hard,” He took a deep breath, there was no turning back, “While Winter and I did meet in high school, before any of that I didn’t really have a great upbringing. My folks died when I was 2 and I don’t really remember them that well. Anyways, I was in the system for a few years being tossed around from family to family, some of them were good and some of them were terrible, until I was adopted by this family, real ‘moral’ citizen kind of people,” he scoffed, “They were anything but that. The dad was a narcissist, he never believed he did anything wrong and if you’d get in his way, he'd…well, we was a smoker so if I ever did anything he didn’t like, he’d burn me with his cigarette.” Penny gasped; he wondered if he should stop but the look in her eyes told him to continue. “Anyways, the mom just ignored it, after all we had to be the ‘picture perfect family who took in a poor orphan boy’, anytime I’d ask for help she’d say that I did something wrong and turn away.

But then there was their kid, Luke. He was a few years older than me, but he made sure me made my life hell. He’d beat me, spit on me, say things that still won’t leave me head till this day. One time he was choking me so hard that I thought I was gonna die, luckily his mom pulled him off me, but she put make-up on my neck to hide the evidence and went about her day. No matter what I did, Luke was always there, grinning, plotting on what he could do to me next. Then I met Winter in high school, one day I wasn’t able to hide my bruises and she saw. Her mom was a teacher there and she told her straight away. The next thing I knew I was eating lunch in her classroom. I remembered just how kind they both were, how they didn’t judge me…believed me. I think that was the first time I let people see me cry.

Anyway, Winter’s family tried to get me out of that place, tried to report it, but no one did anything about it, and Luke made sure that I paid for it getting out. Winter stuck to me like glue ever since, she kept an eye on me even when I didn’t deserve it. Even when I got bad and told her to fuck off, she told me straight up that she wasn’t gonna take my bullshit, she humbled a quite a bit then. But even though she didn’t put up with me being a dick, thank God, she never gave up on me. I knew then that even if it was hard, I couldn’t become like the people who hurt me, no matter how many voices there were, I didn’t want to lose anyone like Winter and be what I hated.

As soon as I was old enough to be emancipated, I moved out of that house and in with Winter’s family. The transition was so jarring, and I affected me a lot, I was abrasive, loud and rude. I just wasn’t able to handle the fact that there were people who actually cared about me, so I lashed out. Eventually I was sat down, and if I thought Winter could humble me, the rest of her family did it tenfold. I was so prepared for them to kick me out, to never want to see me again, but they didn’t. Instead, they comforted me, told me that I was safe and the next thing I knew, they were helping me set up therapy appointments to help me out. It took a while, but I tried getting on my feet again, I applied and got into college and even got a job as a scare actor. I’m still living with her family, but I’ve never felt freer in my life! I don’t think I could ever repay them or Winter for all they’ve done for me, sure there’s days that are harder than the rest, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

(2)

He took a breath as he finished and looked at Penny, her eyes were wide yet focused, taking in everything that he had said. It like a giant weight had been lifted off his shoulder. “I’m sorry if that was a bit much but-”

“Don’t be sorry!” Penny interjected, “I’m glad you told me, I just can’t believe that happened to you.”

“Some people are amazing, some people aren’t,” he sighed, “I want to be like the people who see the world with the potential it had…someone like you. I’ve wanted to tell you for some time, but I just didn’t want you to feel burdened by it, like you had to carry my weight as well.”

“I get it, honestly I do,” she replied, “I understand that this is a complex situation to talk about, but I’m glad that you did talk about it. Are you still in therapy?”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded, “The therapist is great, I don’t think I would be able to be like this if it wasn’t for her.”

“Well, if were gonna be talking about shitty childhoods, I guess…” Penny clenched her hands into fists.

“Pen,” Jack said quickly, “Don’t feel like you’ve gotta say anything because I did.”

(3)

“I want to,” Penny murmured, “Trust me, I want to tell you.” She took a moment to prepare herself. “Before I was born, my mom and dad were extremely in love, like, they were high school sweethearts who gushed over each other and got married in college. I also know that he and Riley were pretty close as well. But then, my mom found out she was pregnant with me. They wanted a second kid, but they never expected it so soon. My mom was happy but my David, my dad, while he said he was happy, looking back on it now I think he was only just saying that. I was born premature, and I was really sick, so I had to spend more time at the hospital. I think I was there for a few months, and my parents had to work extra hard to pay the medical bills. It was then that it was found out that David had been embezzling funds from the company he worked at, and it was my birth and medical bills that messed everything up for him. So one thing led to another, and he got fired. My mom wasn’t happy but eventually it was paid off.

I think that was a catalyst was a lot of things that happened in my life. Ever since then David was a completely different person. He stopped spending time with Riley, he didn’t help my mom whenever I needed fed or changed, and he wasn’t able to hold a job for long. It was also then I realised something that’s pretty fucked up for a kid, I don’t think anyone is supposed to think at 5 years old ‘why does my dad not like me?’ If I was ever alone in a room with him, he would just say such awful things to me, he called me worthless, pathetic, that I better be something great when I’m older otherwise I’m just a waste. That was just the tip of the iceberg. I would always be terrified to show too much of any emotion, whether it was happy, sad, scared, he would just scream at me to the point where I would just stop talking, I was just too scared to do anything at all. When I started middle school, I just became this shell of a person, I wouldn’t talk, wouldn’t move, always flinch. The thing is, when you act in a way that’s ‘different’ to others, it makes you a target. Soon, it became a norm for people to call me names, trip me, kick me. I still got sick a lot due being ill at birth, so it caused me to lose a lot of weight, and everyone made sure that they noticed. It got to the point where it was so bad that I was afraid to go to the bathroom in case there was anyone there. I hated everything about myself. I was too quiet. I was too scared. I hated my body. I just really fucking hated myself.

My parents’ marriage began to become more strained; they fought a lot and Riley realised how much David really sucked as a person. Whenever their fights got too loud, she would close the door and distract me with something like a game or a movie. My mom had to work overtime since David wasn’t working anymore so Riley had to make sure I was okay since he wouldn’t go an inch near me. I still think about how Riley was forced to grow up, because of me. She couldn’t go to parties or have fun because she was busy taking care of me. She said that she didn’t mind, but no one should be forced to give up their childhood, I ruined that for her.

One day, neither my mom nor Riley could get me from school, so David had to get me. He was acting like he usually did but there was something off about how he acted. He was complaining while driving us home, how he shouldn’t be doing this that he had better things to do that pick up his own daughter from school. He was driving so fast, he kept swerving from side to side, I though I was gonna be sick. But then, before I had time to react, we crashed. I remember just being in so much pain, I kept thinking that the last time I saw my mom and Riley would really be the last time. I woke up in the hospital later, Riley and my mom were by side, crying and saying how scared they were. Later we found out that David had been drinking and driving, in fact he had been drinking for a while. He just got worse at hiding it. The minute my mom found out she immediately filed for a divorce, ever since then she felt guilty about not doing sooner, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten hurt. There were times after that when David tried to reconnect with Riley and I, but we were just done with him.

After hearing about the crash and the divorce, I became a bigger target at school. The name calling and the beating got worse, if people pointed out about my weight before then they also pointed the scars that I got from the crash. It just really hit me how cruel people wanted to be. Eventually it got so bad that I just shut down, emotionally and physically. I just numbed myself to the point that I neglected my basic needs, I didn’t eat, I struggled to sleep, it just got really bad. My mom and Riley noticed, and they both tried to help, but I just couldn’t find any point to try. But then it all caught up to me, I was taking a bath and I just…passed out, there and then. I was lucky that I left the door unlocked, Riley managed to find me and screamed at my mom to phone an ambulance. When I came to it was from my mom performing CPR, she held me and cried that my heart stopped for two minutes. I think about that day a lot, how bad it got, I still hate how scared Riley and my mom were. I never wanted to make them feel that way again.

So I decided to get help, I went to a support group for a while and tried taking care of myself again, with Riley and mom’s support. I was also pulled out of school and finished the rest of the year online before being homeschooled, honestly for my sanity, it was for the best. I really struggled getting into a good routine and wanting to take care of myself, but I know that I’d rather try to be happy and see what life can offer me than hit another low like that again, because I know that all I did was make things worse for everyone. As for David, he’s been in and out of rehab a few times, but he’s never made any real effort to stay sober.”

(4)

She huffed as she finished that last sentence, she lifted her head to face Jack, gasping when she noticed tears spilling down his cheeks, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you!”

“No, no!” He hastily wiped them away, “You don’t need to be sorry for anything! I can’t believe that happened to you!”

Penny sniffed, “Pot calling the kettle black don’t you think? Besides, I’m doing better now. College is good, I’m surrounded by good people. I know you say that you wanna see the world I do, but I kind of have to. If we can’t see the world for what it offered us, how can we be human?”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he wiped away another tear, “Just, all this shit we’ve been through, sometimes you forget how hard it hits.”

“Its like what you and I said about costume and game design,” Penny said, “We used what we loved to help us with it all.”

“Even if its still hard sometimes,” Jack finished.

“Yeah,” Penny nodded, “Even then.”

“Penny, I’m sorry that all that happened to you,” Jack whispered, gently taking her hand under the table, “This is gonna sound really corny, but for what its worth, I see you.”

Penny’s breath hitched, Jack’s thumb stroked her hand, providing comfort after all they had laid out. She won’t lie, there was still a part of her that was scared now that there was nothing hiding the bad stuff anymore, and she was sure he felt the same. But there was also something else, courage. Courage to see this through, courage to remind her that there are people who will care and love her, Jack was one of them. “Jack, I see you too.”

He let out a shudder, tension releasing from his muscles. This girl was truly something else, and after hearing what she went through, he was going to follow his own advice. He understood why Riley was so protective over her, he would be the same if it was Winter in that situation. There was still that still wanted to hide, but he couldn’t, not from her. It was then he realised how deep and far he had fallen for Penny.

Two mugs were slammed onto the table, provided by an exasperated looking Riley, “Well that took longer than it should’ve.”

“It’s a busy fair this year, I’m not surprised the que was that long,” Winter interjected, placing down two other mugs of steaming hot chocolate, “So, did you guys have anything to talk about?”

Jack and Penny shared a look, just one but it shared much more than just a ‘talk’. “Yeah,” Jack nodded, “We did”.

The group made sure to savour the hot chocolate that they were given, the sweet taste warming them as they kept an eye on the time. Once they were down, the gathered their jackets and headed back outside again, anticipating the parade that was about to begin.

The moment the first float came out, the crowd erupted into cheers. Each of them had a different them yet kept it related to the holiday season, but the crowd favourite and what got everyone to cheer was the last one carrying an actor of Santa with real reindeer with their reigns held by professionals where the ‘Santa’ waved from his sleigh.

As soon as the parade ended, the fireworks began, lighting the sky with red, green and yellow. It Jack didn’t think Penny looked pretty before, seeing the fireworks reflect in her eyes made her look beautiful. He was sure that a core memory had been created right then and there, locked away in the back of his head, but he didn’t mind one bit. And certainly didn’t mind when Penny held his hand as they watched the fireworks, both of them ignoring the sudden racing of their hearts.

The night was over. The stalls began to close, and each light went off one by one as everyone walked back to their cars.

During the drive home, the group would talk about all they saw that night, commenting on what was their favourite out of the whole fair. Riley had set next to Winter this time while Jack and Penny shared the back, enjoying one another’s company.

Soon, Winter rolled the car up by Amber’s house, letting the girls out. Winter and Jack got out as well, wanting to walk them to the door before they left. Riley and Winter shared one last kiss, the former was going to stay another night at her sister’s place before going back home with Winter tomorrow, but with they way the couple was acting was almost straight out of a soap opera, as if it would be eternity before seeing the other again.

As Winter went to hug Penny, Riley looked over to Jack. “Look here smart guy,” she growled, “Penny is really important to me, so if I find out you’ve been messing with her, I will tear you limb from limb. So consider this you’re last and only warning.”

Jack nodded, shivering not just from the cold, but mostly from the icy stare down that Riley was giving him. “I understand, really,” he reassured her, “You’re a good sister Riley.”

The stare melted a bit, not a lot but just a bit, Riley’s features softening slightly, “I know I am.”

Winter and Penny pulled away, “I’ll see you tomorrow Riley, Jack are you coming?”

“Just a sec Winter,” Jack went to face Penny, “I just wanna say bye to Penny first.”

Winter grinned, “Oh of course, I’m just gonna head to the car.”

“And I’ll just wait out here,” Riley crossed her arms just as the front door opened, revealing Amber.

“Oh hey guys you’re back,” Amber smiled, “Did you have fun?”

“We did mom,” said Penny, “I was just saying bye to Jack.”

“Oh well in that case, Riley could you come in here for a bit I need your help with something?” Amber asked, her smile was all-knowing as she looked at Jack and Penny.

“As a matter of fact-” Riley interjected.

“-She doesn’t mind at all,” Winter shoved her inside.

“GODDAMMIT-!” Riley shouted before Amber slammed the door.

“Like I said, I’ll be in the car,” Winter skipped away, leaving the two by the door.

“Do you have any idea what that was about?” Penny questioned.

Jack shook his head, “Not a clue.”

Penny put her hands behind her back, staring at her feet shyly before peering back up at him, “I had a lot of fun, thanks for inviting me.”

“I think you being there made it a lot more fun,” Jack admitted, watching the way pink dotted Penny’s cheeks, “Are you still okay after all that?”

Penny nodded, “Yeah, you?”  

“Mmhmm,” Jack hummed affirmatively, “Just text me wanna hang out again.”

“I will,” Penny agreed, “Probably after Christmas, but I think Riley, mom and I are coming to your house for Christmas dinner.”

“Really?” Jack lit up, noticing how he sounded before sobering himself up again, “I mean yeah that’s great; I can’t wait to see you then.”

Penny giggled, “Smooth. Well, goodnight then.”

“Goodnight Penny,” Jack whispered one more time, turning away.

Penny was about to go inside when she decided to do one more thing while she still had the courage, after all, the night was still young. “Jack, wait!”

He lifted his head at the call of his name, “What? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, its just, um, you f-forgot something,” Penny stammered, working herself up as much as she could, “You forgot this.”

She planted a kiss on his cheek, pulling away quickly. Jack’s mouth was agape, a small gasp escaping, but he didn’t know how else to express the adrenaline he felt internally. The night couldn’t have ended more perfect, with the lamp on the sidewalk illuminating the two as the falling snow powdered round them. He blinked the surprise away, smirking down at Penny as the girl blushed at her actions, “Thanks little lady.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and oh how her face turned even redder than a Christmas light.  

“I-I,” she stuttered, every part of her was rushing, cheering, yet all she could say was, “I’M NOT LITTLE GOODNIGHT!” Before running back into the house.

Jack chuckled, walking back to the car and sitting in the passenger seat. He could feel Winter’s teasing eyes on him, “Shut up.” His voice had no malice and the lovestruck grin was still plastered on his face.

Winter chuckled, driving away into the night. Jack smiled, he fell hard, and he loved every bit of it.

.

.

.

Jax bolted up in bed, grumbling. Here he thought he wouldn’t have another dream, yet fate had other plans. He placed his hands on his cheeks, feeling a wetness on his fur. Was he seriously crying in his dream? “Why does this keep getting weirder?” he mumbled to himself.

He raised a hand to his cheek again, to the same place Penny kissed Jack. One reason why he hated these dreams feeling so real was because he wanted that. He wanted someone just to like him, not even romantically but to just like him. Someone who could take a chance to actually want to know him, like how Penny wanted to know Jack. But he knew why though, he kept pushing everyone away who actually tried. The only thing he remembered from his first day here was nothing but fear, and the feeling of his past-self fleeting away, slipping from his fingers and before he knew it, he was reduced to nothing but a cowardly rabbit, finding it easier to just bite at whoever came near him than feel that fear again. Caine didn’t seem to care, as long as it made for a fun adventure.

He hated Jack, he hated that he seemed happier, he hated that he was brave enough to admit that he was scared, he hated how he had a family, a friend, that he felt the freedom of falling in love and wanting to maintain it. “Shut up Jax!” he growled to himself, “It’s a dream, just a dream, its not real!” But oh how he wanted it to be real.

He tried to ignore it for the rest of the day, focusing on how he could mess with the others, maybe he could steal one of Kinger’s pillows from his fortress. It all came to a halt when he heard the sound of two familiar voices.

“I’ve given you multiple chances to do this adventure!” Caine boomed throughout the tent, “Yet each time you don’t play it right! You are a jester, play your part!”

It wasn’t the first time Jax heard how angry Caine could be, the AI could be flat out terrifying went he wanted to be. He was curious about what him so angry. He peered round the corner and that’s when he saw it, Pomni cowering beneath Caine as he yelled at her.   

“I’m sorry, I’m trying I promise I’m trying!” she sniffled, “But you didn’t give me a chance to prepare when you threw those knifes at me! I didn’t even know it was going to be an adventure, I’m not even sure if I was a jester in my past life-”

“-This is your new life!” Caine thundered, making everyone else come in to see what was going on, but backing up when sensing Caine’s mood. This place was risky, but nothing worried them more than seeing Caine reach his limit. “If I ever hear you speak about an exit again so help me Pomni!”

“But I didn’t-”

“You are Pomni! You are a jester! This is your life!” Caine screamed, “If it takes throwing knifes at you to make you realise then so be it!”

Pomni curled in on herself, looking smaller than she ever did. It was then something triggered in Jax, a sense to run, a sense to defend her, a sense to rid her of the fear that Caine was installing in her.

I would always be terrified to show too much of any emotion, whether it was happy, sad, scared, he would just scream at me to the point where I would just stop talking, I was just too scared to do anything at all.

He had no self-control over what happened next. One moment he was at the side like everyone else, watching the whole thing go down. Next, he was in front of Pomni, starting at Caine as the AI tilted his head at Jax’s new and sudden behaviour.

The rest of the crew was shocked as well, Jax would’ve never have done this for anyone, yet Pomni was here for barely three months, and he was glaring at Caine without the slightest ounce of fear, and if he did feel it, he didn’t dare show it. Even Pomni was taken aback, uncurling herself to look at the rabbit in front of her.

“Jax,” Caine spoke quietly and softly, but it was dreadfully eerie, “What is the meaning of this?”

Jax knew he had to say something, Caine was smarter than he let on, so he had to play his cards right and stay in character, “Oh you know, I was gonna keep it to myself but Bubble currently loose in the carnival outside, I think he said something about being glad he was free reign of kitchen supplies?”

There was a beat, but it felt like forever with how Caine was staring at him, calculating each word Jax said within his digital consciousness. Jax tried to keep calm, trying not to lose focus when Caine gasped dramatically, the encounter already forgotten. “Not the carnival!” he screeched with panic before floating out the tent, “Bubble! You parasite! Don’t you dare touch that rollercoaster!”  

Jax nearly sighed with relief, the way Pomni looked so afraid, it reminded him too much of Penny and how she described her dad. Maybe what he did would come back to bite him later, but right now, he just couldn’t bare to see Pomni so scared. Because its only fun to mess with myself that’s why Jax defended internally, you just pitied her that’s what!

“Um,” Pomni’s small voice broke him out of his daze, he turned to see the jester clutching her hands together, “Thanks, for that.”

“Well the carnival is mildly entertaining, so I didn’t want to let Bubble destroy it,” he replied, trying to ignore the sting in his chest at the way Pomni’s face fell. He sighed, “You’re welcome little lady.”

Pomni’s head shot up fast, did he just say? No, that was your imagination, there’s no way he said that!

Pomni’s dreams had also returned the other night, leaving her waking up with tear-stained cheeks and flustered screeching. She remembered how Jack pressed his lips to Penny’s forehead, how she could somehow feel the imprint on her own head when she woke up. But that wasn’t possible, it wasn’t real, they weren’t real! Nothing but her mind playing tricks on her again and she thought she could forget about it, but Caine had magicked her on a wheel and began throwing knifes at her. She had freaked out and tried to get away, not realising that it was one of his ‘adventures’ before he started screaming at her. Then Jax swooped in, why did he do that, what could he hope to gain?

And then there was the ‘little lady’ comment and the déjà vu swelled up in her brain again. Why did her heart start racing when Jax said it? She shouldn’t be reacting this way, before after how he tucked her hair behind her ear the other night, and now this, she wasn’t sure if she could fight off being flustered anymore.

“Um, yeah, cool, we’re cool right?” she cringed at herself for that one, Jax even looked a bit confused at that, “I’m just gonna-” she bolted down the hall and back to her room to save herself from anymore embarrassment.

Jax shook his head and chuckled, Pomni was just too cute sometimes, he wouldn’t deny it, you can’t deny something that’s true right?

“Um Jax?” Gangle walked up to him, making him grunt as he faced her, “Bubble hasn’t been outside all day.”

Damn it, caught! “Jax,” Ragatha raised a brow at him, “What’s going on?”

“What?” he tried to save face as much as he could, “I can’t mess with dentures from time to time?”

“Oh please,” Zooble grumbled, “As if you were thinking about messing with Caine. We’re not blind you idiot; everyone can see that you did this for Pomni.”

 “Seriously, you really think I’m going soft for the newbie,” that was a boldfaced lie, and everyone knew it, “Kinger, Hoo haa, back me up on this buddy.”

The chess piece only stared at the group, silent for a while before saying, “Is this about an insect collection?”

“…See, just wanted to mess with Caine,” it wasn’t much but it was the best that he could save himself, “Now if you don’t mind, I don’t want to see the rest of you for the day, goodbye!”

He shoved himself past them all, ignoring the knowing looks on his back. He didn’t feel anything for Pomni, there was no way. After all that would be ridiculous, like having sudden dreams in this dimension type of ridiculous. After all it wasn’t as if he was curious about what her laugh sounded like, or how beautifully unique her eyes looked, or if he spent last night falling asleep while thinking about her…

…oh no.

[scribeforchrist-blog]

You're Not Disqualified

MEMORY VERSE OF THE WEEK

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+ 1 Corinthians 6:14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power.

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VERSE OF THE DAY 

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+ Proverbs 30:12 There are those who are clean in their own eyes but are not washed of their filth

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SUBJECT: You're Not Disqualified

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** SAY THIS BEFORE YOU READ; HERE’S SOME CHRISTIAN TRUTHS **

I AM FORGIVEN 

I AM QUALIFIED 

I AM LOOKING FOR MORE 

I AM A CHILD OF THE KING

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READ TIME : 8 Minutes & 30 Seconds

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THOUGHTS:

=======================

      Many things will disqualify us from getting certain things, like a credit card. We have to have the correct credit score and good payment history; playing on a sports team, we must know how to play that particular sport, be an asset to the team, maybe even previously played on a team, or be competitive, and even when we get a job we must have experience working on a job similar to the one you're trying to get hired for that’s what qualifies a person well sometimes .

   These things qualify you, and sometimes we aren’t qualified. It is frustrating because we try hard to mark off everything required to do something’s; and sometimes, we make it, and sometimes, we don’t. Still, with God, we don’t have to be qualified to be loved by him. We don’t have to be qualified to be spirit-led; we often think God disqualifies us when we sin, and he doesn’t. God wants to ensure that we are ready for our calling. He wants to ensure we are ready to go to the next level. 

    Look at Peter. You would think Jesus would have done away with Peter the moment he lied and left him high and dry; you would think Jesus would have said no, not Peter.  Most people would’ve never let Peter back into their lives, but what Jesus did was he qualified him because he knew what Peter had on the inside; he knew who Peter was because Peter was his own; a lot of times, people and places DON’T know us they have to get to know us, but with Jesus, we don’t have to wait, we don’t have to put on a show we just have to be who we are and that’s what qualifies us.

  Luke 22:60-62 But Peter said, “Man, I do not know what you are talking about.” And immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. 61 And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” 62 And he went out and wept bitterly.

     Jesus doesn’t look at our mistakes and hold them over our heads. No, he doesn’t, not at all. We might have that feeling, but that’s not what happens. Jesus wants us to come to him so that we can be forgiven; a lot of us hold on to sin or won't ask for forgiveness because we feel we don’t have to, but sometimes, not asking for forgiveness can cause our blessing to be held back or our relationship with Him not to grow because we disqualify ourself by not asking for forgiveness.

    2 Samuel 11:2 One evening, David got up from his bed and walked around on the palace's roof. From the roof, he saw a woman bathing. The woman was very beautiful.

     David knew what he shouldn’t be doing, which was looking upon a woman on his roof; he knew what his intention was and what he wanted, but did this disqualify him from being king? No, it didn’t; David even counted the men after he was told not to. Did this disqualify him? No, it didn’t; our sins aren’t what disqualifies us; it's what we do about the sin we are committing. Do we have a contrite heart or allow it to linger? See, these two men didn’t allow what their sins to linger . Well , David did it briefly, and Nathan had to come to show him the punishment God had given him, BUT HE WASN’T DISQUALIFIED

     Now, I’m not saying we won't get punished; it's not to say we won't feel the guilt of what we did, but what we must do when we have identified a sin in our life that we can't let go of we must go to God & ask forgiveness and then fast, a lot of people don’t want to fast because they don’t want to sacrifice to get closer to God, friends to live in the power of God we must fast, the moment I had a woman of God to explain to me the importance of fasting I started fasting more. I started to walk in more power because I didn’t let food or anything be a master over me. 

  Look at Nineveh; they were told about their wrong doings and everyone was on a fast, and no one could eat, including the animals; they thought if we all fasted this way, maybe God would relent his hand over us. We must be extreme about our life with Christ or our relationship with Christ; some people think we DON’T have to be extreme, but to walk in the authority of God, we must show God how important he is to us. 

  Jonah 3:7-9 This is the proclamation he issued in Nineveh: By the decree of the king and his nobles: Do not let people or animals, herds or flocks, taste anything; do not let them eat or drink.But let people and animals be covered with sackcloth. Let everyone call urgently on God. Let them give up their evil ways and their violence. Who knows? God may yet relent and with compassion turn from his fierce anger so that we will not perish.”

   We don’t have to worry about God disqualifying us; we DON’T have to worry about God saying no, not Lui, she did this and that, but God wants to say, well, Lui, you did this and that. I still love you, you did that, I still forgive you, you did this, and I still want you as mine; God won’t deny us or throw us to the side, but we push away because we listen to other people about God’s opinions about us and God opinions don’t change we must learn not to let others tell us what God want from us and start going to God ourselves. 

  ***Today, we learned that what disqualifies us and we do this on our own, God doesn’t; we must stop looking at other people and look to God; we can get a word from God but some of us think , we need this person or that person but friends ,we don’t need sister so and so to do it or this man of God to do it we can speak to God ourselves, but God doesn’t stop loving us, he doesn’t stop communicating with us , and He most certainly doesn’t leave us to do things on our own. 

  Every day, we have an opportunity to pick up our cross; every day, we have opportunities to say, Jesus, I need you. Sometimes God is waiting for us to say something about what’s happening, but sometimes we don’t because we think there’s no way he cares if I’m there or not; it’s a verse In the Bible that says Luke 14:5-6, and when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders nd goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.

  Do you see what he does? He puts the sheep on his shoulders, and he goes home. God wants us to come home; God wants us near him. Some of us are lost because we disqualified ourselves from what we do, but God never said this to us. Today, come back and allow God to comfort you and qualify you. ©Seer~ Prophetess Lee

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PRAYER

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Heavenly Father, thank you so much for everything; thank you for loving and caring for us; help us to follow and love you. Lord, we give you every aspect of our lives. We ask you right now to forgive us of the sins we have done! Help us to stay focused on you. Give us the strength to be holy and to walk on the path you have for us, in Jesus' Name, Amen

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REFERENCES 

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Luke 15:7 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

 

+ Luke 5:32 I have not come to call the righteous but sinners to repentance.”

 

+ Matthew 18:13 And if he finds it, truly, I say to you, he rejoices over it more than over the ninety-nine that never went astray

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FURTHER READINGS 

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Proverbs 4

Leviticus 4

Jeremiah 8

Micah 1

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[midwestmade29]

Memories of You ❤️‍🩹

I was in the mood to break a few hearts so this story came to life…don’t hate me 😂🫣 ✧ Valentine’s Day writing prompt: #5 (Valentines Day break up. Sometimes relationships don't make it on the day of love) ✧ You can find @madhatterbri’s complete list of prompts here 🙂 ✧ Word count: 1,408 ✧ Divider by: @firefly-graphics

Disclaimers: Just sadness mostly. The story goes over a breakup and the feelings that come with it. Read at your own discretion.

GIF is not mine. Credit goes to the original creator.

This is a standalone story. There will be no continuations or a part 2.

This is the first Valentine’s Day you’re spending without Christian…

This Valentine’s Day looked a little different than it had the last 2. You were spending it alone instead of with him. This would be the first time in the last 2 years that you weren’t waking up to good morning kisses, the first time in 2 years that you weren’t spending it in the comfort of his arms. You knew there was no chance in hell that you were leaving your apartment on a holiday devoted to all things love! You had prepared for this day a few days prior when you went to the store to buy yourself a cliché heart shaped box of chocolate and 2 bottles of your favorite wine. You had purchased all the ingredients you needed to fix a homemade meal along with some self-care items. You made a promise to yourself that you would avoid social media so you wouldn’t see everyone’s mushy posts about them and their loves. The iPhone sitting on the coffee table was the enemy today because you knew you weren’t going to be getting the “I love you texts” you always looked forward to so much. This day was all about you now and you were going to spend it doing the things that you enjoyed to help take some of the sting from the day away.

“I’m fine. I swear I’m really doing fine,” was the reply you sent to your friends in the group chat you all shared. They had asked how you were holding up, checking in with you and offering their love and support because they knew even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud, you were missing Christian. Once you were done fixing dinner, you sat yourself down on the couch and began watching one of your favorite movies. Time was moving forward at a decent pace, which you were grateful for. The bottle of wine you had opened was about halfway gone when you paused the movie to clean up your dirty dishes and apply a face mask. On your way back to the couch, an old familiar box that sat on a bookshelf caught your eye. You tried your best to talk yourself out of opening it, but the contents inside of it called out to you. You hesitated when your hands reached out to grab it, but here you are sitting it down on the coffee table in front of your couch. Your face mask had another 10 minutes left before you could take it off, so you tried to get engrossed in the movie again. Periodically you would glance over at the box, almost giving into temptation but you refrained.

You removed your face mask when it was time and polished off your 1st bottle of wine. Your head was a little unsteady from it, but you weren’t too far gone. The heart shaped box of chocolates was half eaten with most pieces placed back into the box after you bit them in half to taste their flavor. You decided to rip off the band aid after you poured another glass of wine and go ahead and open the box. You had done so well all night not going down memory lane, but it turns out you’re a glutton for punishment! With your legs crossed as you sat on the floor, you took a deep breath and pulled the top off the box. The smell of Christian’s cologne danced around your nose when you pulled out one of his old wrestling shirts. The scent caused a rush of memories to overtake your thoughts as you remembered all his matches that you were ringside for. It took you back to all the times he wore this cologne for any special occasion that required him to wear a suit and tie and how he looked so fucking handsome in them. It was the same cologne he was wearing on the night you broke up. Sometimes you feel like the scent is embedded on his side of your bed. You sat the t-shirt on the floor and moved onto the next item in the box.

The paper tickets that Christian printed out were what you pulled out next. They were from the first hockey game the two of you went to together! You remember how into the game you were and how he looked at you in astonishment because of how well you fit right in with the rest of the hockey fans. Your cheers and curses made Christian laugh, and you encouraged him to let loose too! There was no good reason why either of you shouldn’t be your authentic selves around each other, even if that meant losing your minds over a hockey game. A piece of paper that you had Christian sign during one of his meet and greets caught your eye next. You decided to play a joke on him that day by standing in line and pretending to be a crazed fan just dying to see him. Your theatrics were over the top when you rushed up to him pretending to be his biggest fan. Onlookers thought you were bat shit crazy for your behavior, but Christian thankfully smiled when he noticed it was you causing the commotion. “Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! It’s really you! Captain Charisma. The Instant Classic. The Patriarch of AEW!” you cried out, barely able to keep a straight face. “What are you doing here, Y/N?” Christian asked while shaking his head at you. He signed the note you had slid to him on the table, and he grinned from ear to ear as he read over what you had written on it:

“I love you baby! I’m so glad that you’re mine. I’ll see you at home after the event!

P.S.-I hope I didn’t embarrass you too much”

Up next were random trinkets that you had collected from your travels together. A keychain from Las Vegas when you were there for Double or Nothing. A few seashells from your favorite beach vacation you went on. Beer bottle caps from the bar you went to after he won the TNT Championship. You pulled out a half a dozen pennies that Christian picked up for you whenever he found one on the ground because he knew they reminded you of your grandfather who collected coins. The very last thing that remained at the bottom of the box were pictures of the two of you throughout the course of your relationship. You gulped down the wine in your glass as if it would help you get through the next set of memories. A few tears escaped your eyes when you looked at every photo. Each picture was different, ranging from silly and cheesy, to happy with the both of you displaying the brightest smiles! There were candid photos that you had taken of Christian when he wasn’t aware you were taking them and there were some that were like that of you too. Pictures of sunsets, you both with each other’s families and friends, underwater pictures of you snorkeling, the two of you snuggling on the couch together. You finally pulled out your favorite picture of the two of you covered in flour and other ingredients, sitting on the island in the kitchen after a small food fight you had.

You found yourself sitting on the floor with memories of what used to be spread out all around you. Tears stained your cheeks the more you thought about Christian and what he might be up to tonight. The stroll down memory lane made you feel sad and brought up things you were trying to hard to forget, but it was good for you. It was good for you to feel all the feels and release them. It was good for you to acknowledge your pain and let it go. The tears you shed made it feel like some of the weight you had been carrying around with you since your breakup was a little lighter. Once you dried your tears, you packed everything back inside the box, except Christian’s wrestling t-shirt. You placed it over your shoulder and got yourself ready for bed. While you were still in the process of moving on, it was still okay to hold onto some of the happy from your relationship with him. That night you fell asleep wearing his shirt, the smell of him that was still remaining on it lulled you to sleep.

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

The right mindset for an exchange year abroad

There's no singular correct mindset or way of thinking when it comes to planning and preparing for a year abroad. However, there are some aspects that can make life a little easier so here's what you should consider doing.

Accepting being an obvious foreigner If you're doing a year in a country such as China, then be prepared to be the odd person. Yes, chances are you will get stared at. You may hear "waiguoren"!, especially if you got travelling outside of the more international areas. Yes, you will sometimes feel like an outsider, like you'll never fully integrate. And that's ok. A reality that I had to accept is that whilst I may be welcome to stay here, I will remain an obvious visitor here.

Trying new things An obvious one, but don't just stay in your dorm watching tv-shows all the time. Get out and explore the city. Even if you decide to talk a stroll in the local park, that also counts. Obviously there wil be days when you need to recharge and spend some time by yourself, but going out and leaving your bubble can be the greatest kindness that you show yourself.

Break out of your shell Similar to point #2, but this one can be tricky. Trying new things e.g. trying a new dish at your school canteen vs going to a local restaurant by yourself are a tad different. This one takes time, and even the most outgoing person can struggle with this in a foreign place. Baby steps are the way to go here. If you feel anxious about going to the restaurant, try a cafe in a student/university area first. You can order your drink and if you feel comfortable enough, you can find a spot there and do some reading/studying. In time, you'll feel confident enough to try other places that you may have previously found intimidating. Breaking out of your shell takes time, so don't push yourself too much.

The local customs will endure long after you have left My professors back at my home uni always said "the local way trumps your way", and they were proven right time after time. Certain things are done a certain way, and whether you like it or not they will continue. The best thing to do, is to research in advance and try to adapt to them. Who knows, maybe in time they'll grow on you (aka me almost forgetting how to use a fork after using chopsticks for so long).

It's usually curiosity, not malice Sometimes you will get stared at, or you may be asked odd questions that in your culture would seem bizzare or perhaps a tad offensive e.g. how much do you/your parents earn? are you married? do you have children? Usually it's asked out of curiosity, rather than to cause offense or malice so try to keep that in mind.

Overcome the feeling of temporariness This is an odd one, but the fact that I'm here in China only for a while sometimes gets to me. Like why bother decorating my dorm room if I'll leave in the end? Why buy an extra blanket if I'll have to donate it if it doesn't fit into my suitcase? Forget this mentality. Yes, you're here for only a year, or maybe even half a year. But. This doesn't mean that you should neglect yourself and your living space. If its affordable and if it'll make your life much more easier and comfortable, then get that thing! If you don't have space in your suitcase, then either ship it back home, sell it, give it to a friend or donate it.

Don't forget about your life back home Keep in touch with your friends and family. You don't necessarily need to call them everyday, but do sent a message every once in a while. A simple "good morning!" text can be enough to reassure your parent(s) that everything's ok. Make sure to keep in touch with your home uni academic advisors, and to make sure that you're meeting all the necessary requirements. Mark the application deadline for those summer internships in your calendar, and don't forget to send your auntie that happy birthday message. You have your current life, but please don't neglect your relationships with your loved ones back at home.

[lorainelegacy]

Fifty OC Questions!

Questions are from @localravenclaw's post. Thank you!

1. Describe your OC's physical appearance in detail.

Loraine is 23 years old. She has dark brown hair, usually pulled back in a scruffy ponytail or bun, as she finds it too much of a burden to wear it down. She has heterochromia. Her left eye is green and her right eye is yellow. In the words of Professor Fig: Two large, sparkling jewels. The left, a deep green that evoked the ancient forests of Scotland; the right, an amber yellow that seemed to contain the very essence of the sun.

She suffers from thrombocytopenia so despite having long, feminine legs, she always has some bruises or wounds due to the ill-treatment she was subjected to during her life at her aunt and uncle's house. She has several scars on her wrists and burn marks on her arms, back and thighs. Her most visible scar is the one on her right eyebrow She never shows her body.

2. Why'd you choose your OC's name?

I simply like the name Loraine. There is nothing interesting behind it.

3. How does your OC feel about their birthday?

She has never celebrated it so it is not a special day for her.

4. How does your OC and their parents get along?

Her parents died when she was a child, but she assumes she had a good relationship with them.

5. What's something you'd never put your OC through again?

I don't know.... unfortunately for her, the author is too fond of drama.

6. What's your OC's go-to comfort meal?

The Dundee Cake. She loves sweets, but her favourite is the Dundee Cake, as its texture is very soft and it has both nuts and fruits!

7. What career path would your OC take?

She has a divided heart: on the one hand she would like to become a famous Magizoologist, due to her love and innate talent for understanding animals, or Potioneer to help others.

8. What's something your OC can't do?

Public speaking and interacting with strangers. Of course she can talk, but she does not feel comfortable at all and as soon as a conversation starts she wants to go back to her place of comfort. Something derived from the lack of socialisation to which she was subjected since she was a child. However, thanks to her new friends, and above all, thanks to Fig, she has managed to cope much better with this problem.

9. What is your OC's ideal romantic partner?

She has suffered a lot. So she simply wants a man who will love her and stand by her no matter what. She just wants to feel loved, nothing more.

10. Does your OC like to spend time alone or with others more?

Although Loraine enjoys spending time with her friends, especially Ominis and Sebastian, she prefers to read or draw in Fig's office. It is her sanctuary and where she really feels happy and comfortable. As I have mentioned before, she has trouble socialising and sometimes in the middle of a conversation, even with her friends, she gets overwhelmed and desperately needs to run away.

11. What time does your OC usually go to sleep?

It depends on the day, she usually stays up reading until she falls asleep and on other days she goes to sleep straight away. However, she does not like to sleep too much because she feels she is "wasting valuable time."

12. Where in the sibling order is your OC?

She has no siblings.

13. What's the worst thing your OC's ever done?

Probably thinking about killing her uncle, but she can't be blamed for it…

14. What would it take for your OC to kill someone?

Someone hurting a very important person to her.

15. What item does your OC hold most dear?

The second-hand wand Fig gave him the first day they met. As she lost her parents at such a young age, she has no memories of them. Her only memories were lost the day she was on her way to Hogwarts with Fig and a dragon attacked them.

16. How does your OC unwind?

Loraine loves spending time with her magical creatures in the Room of Requirement: playing with them, feeding them, brushing them and even drawing them! She has a notebook full of drawings and although she also draws portraits of people, her favourite thing in the world is drawing creatures and landscapes. She also enjoys music very much. She plays the piano, but for some strange reason she can't remember how she learned to play. Another thing she loves to do is to simply take her broom and fly through the sky, although she prefers to fly on a hippogriff because according to her ‘it's a completely different and unique experience’.

17. What's your OC's star sign?

Cancer. She is very emotional, sensitive, understanding and attached to the people she loves. According to this sign: Cancer horoscope people are characterised by being one of the most challenging signs of the zodiac, they can be difficult to understand and have a very shy personality to a very daring one. In addition, they are people with a somewhat discordant character and behaviour with rapid changes of mood.

In the crab that represents them, the shell signifies an introverted nature with an armour that is difficult to penetrate, a need for self-protection when they feel unsafe or feel intrusive in their life or habits. Cancers are known as the most dramatic, tenacious and imaginative in the horoscope.

18. What kind of drunk is your OC?

She hates alcohol for obvious reasons.

19. Who does your OC end up with?

Eleazar Fig.

20. Who is your OC's role model?

Again: Fig. He is the centre of her universe. Not only did he change her life when he appeared that day offering to accompany her on an unexpected adventure, saving her from the jaws of her uncles. He taught her little by little what love means. It was not only his ability to conjure spells that captivated her, but the depth of his understanding, the tenderness of his guidance, and the steadfastness of his protection. For her, there is no other wizard more exceptional than him.

21. Is your OC big on revenge?

She wouldn't hesitate for a second to take down anyone who harms the people she loves or anyone who makes animals and creatures suffer.

22. If your OC ever got the chance, would they go back in time? When would they go?

She wished she could have saved her parents' lives, but she was so young that it would have been useless to go back in time. It would have ended all the same. Loraine was destined to have that terrible childhood.

In one of the endings of my fanfic Professor Fig sacrifices himself to save her, which is unfortunately the canon ending of the game we all know. So yes, in that ending she would have wished to go back in time and be the one who sacrifices herself, since losing Fig made her world never the same and she was never happy again.

23. What's your OC's favourite memory?

She has too many, but if I have to highlight a few:

The dance with Fig at that harvest festival in a small village in the south of Scotland. Because they both saved the village from an attack by the Ashwinders, the villagers made them king and queen of the harvest. She was presented with a beautiful wreath of flowers and Fig, although he flatly refused, with a necklace. Apparently a very typical thing to do there. That dance would be engraved in her heart forever.

Another very special memory for her was the first time she rode a Hippogriff, or the time she saw a Phoenix for the first time. One of the most wonderful creatures she had ever seen. Or when she managed to ‘tame’ the Lord of the Shore, an imposing and magnificent Graphorn. She still remembers Fig's face when she saw him return on the back of that huge creature.

There are too many memories.

24. Will your OC ever admit to being wrong?

She apologises too much, even when she does nothing wrong. So of course she has no trouble apologising or acknowledging her mistakes.

25. Is your OC doomed by the narrative?

I don't know what this question means exactly, but I suppose it does. Although in my fanfic there will be different endings.

26. Would your OC get along with you?

Of course!

27. What's one thing your OC will never get over?

It is very obvious, but the loss of the people she loves. She would simply feel completely alone in the world.

28. Is your OC going to make it?

No. She will probably never be the same again.

29. Does your OC look their age?

Yes.

30. What weird pet would your OC have?

She literally takes any creature to the Room of Requirement. Professor Weasley was greatly alarmed when she heard that she kept a dragon there. But he was badly injured, what else could she do?

31. Does your OC care a lot about their appearance?

Not too much, she almost always wears her hair tousled. However, she does like dresses and elegant clothes.

32. What's one food your OC can't stand?

She hates cheese or any food that smells bad or is excessively spicy.

33. What animal do people associate your OC with?

It had to be a cat. Her heterochromatic eyes are the most characteristic of her, and not only that, even her excessively affectionate behavior with Fig makes her look like a feline. So much so, that the shape of his Patronus is a Norwegian forest cat.

Loraine is passionate about animals, so of course she went through the whole process to be an Animagus. She loves to take the form of a cat or a red kite.

34. what's your OC's "thing"?

I don't know if the question refers to something material or to behavior. I don't know how to answer lol.

35. Random fact about your OC

She can't stand being in a messy room.

36. Would your OC sleep with a clone of themself?

Umm no? What a strange question.

37. What part of yourself do you love in your OC?

My determination, perhaps.

38. What's the lowest point in your OC's life?

Several suicide attempts.

39. What's your OC's biggest achievement?

Her greatest achievement? I could say that saving the school and the wizarding world from Ranrok's plans. But really her greatest achievement was overcoming her traumas and depression.

40. Does your OC ever go back home?

She has no home to return to.

41. How would your OC adapt to the modern world?

I think she would suffer an anxiety attack seeing so much technology and tall skyscrapers. Not to mention the music!

42. Does your OC have any unique talents?

Aside from being able to control Ancient Magic, Loraine is good at understanding the needs of animals and quite skilled in Potions.

43. Does your OC exist in canon or AU timeline?

Hmm no, I think. I don't quite understand the question lol.

44. Is your OC a people person?

She is a kind and charming person, but she just doesn't like to talk to people too much. She prefers the company of animals.

45. Did your OC ever have an alternative name?

Before choosing the name 'Loraine' I thought of calling her 'Aura' since it is the name of the protagonist of a fanfic that I started many years ago.

46. Does your OC possess any special powers?

Apart from controlling Ancient Magic no, she does not possess any special powers. Is being a metamorphmagus considered a special power?

47. Is your OC allergic to anything?

She is allergic to pollen, but she loves them anyway.

48. Does your OC have a lot of uncommon knowledge? How do they know it?

As I said, she can understand animals, but I don't know if it's knowledge to be taken into account. She doesn't know how she got that gift, if it can be considered that.

49. Does your OC have any scars or birthmarks with an interesting story?

Yes, she has a lot of marks and scars on her body. But there is no interesting story behind them.

50. What do you love and hate most about your OC?

What I like most is that despite everything she suffered in the past, she is a kind and cheerful person. I also admire her ability to cope with her life as a student with all the problems that arise and also help anyone who asks her for help. Perhaps that kindness in excess is something negative. She gives too much to people and that makes her forget to pay attention to herself and her own happiness.

[mynamesaplant]

The Headspace that is Grief (Ch. 2)

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Summary: The grieving process is different for everyone, Emmet and Olivia know that first hand but they just don't know it yet. Sometimes it takes another person experiencing the same things as you to move through those feelings. Together, they learn and grow with their grief and each other.

In this chapter: Emmet starts making a few changes to Olivia's home and she's unsure how to take them, or her new tenant.

Notes: This is a short chapter by comparison to others, but it's more for set-up than anything. This was not beta read - so if there are spelling or grammatical errors, let me know. Regardless, I hope you enjoy!~

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Over the course of the next week, Mr. Emmet made a lot of changes that weren't strictly part of the rental agreement. She could tell he combed over it carefully, not disobeying any of the rules she set in place, but Olivia was starting to find some of his realistic and reasonable “things” involved a lot of renovation.

"There was not anything in the lease agreement that said I could not."

Mr. Emmet said as Olivia stormed up to him. He was meticulous. He was selecting things that he knew she wouldn't object to if she really paused to consider it. Better internet access with underground cables running from Cedaridge, a bigger generator to replace the old one that had seen better days, and he had a replacement fridge in mind from the moment he saw her old one.

That was the one she fought him the most on, but Mr. Emmet was quick to assure her that none of these changes were going to come out of her own pocket. He warned her that he was going to have an electrician come in and upgrade the wattage of her house and all the outlets, that was when Olivia told him that she couldn't allow any more changes.

"I will require no more after that."

He said patiently, offering her a smile. He knew that she was very unlikely to object, not without being completely unreasonable. That, Emmet had clocked right away. She had outlined all other aspects of his lease, but this had been a pretty big blind spot that he conveniently neglected to expound upon. He was referring to them as cosmetic changes or necessary upgrades made by the tenant at the tenant's expense.

She left the house, Raichu and Infernape in tow as she tried not to be annoyed with the workers who were fundamentally changing her home. He watched her go with whatever guilt he was feeling shoved off to the side to be examined later.

In town, Olivia took refuge in her still closed for the season shop. It would be opening soon, so she figured might as well clean up here. She would also have to talk to Hayate about working the shop this season, knowing this was his last year before he went off to university.

He was a moody boy, but he had a passion for plants, which was the only reason entrusted her shop to him. The lock clicked and the door swung open, the closed sign still flipped toward the street when she shut the door behind her.

"Alright guys. Let's get this place cleaned up for Hayate."

Olivia rolled up her sleeves and pulled her hair back into a bun, knowing she was going to get pretty gross cleaning this place up. She handed Raichu a feather duster and told him to shoo away any stray Bug Pokémon hiding in the curtains. Infernape was also on dust duty, getting any loose debris on the floor for Olivia to sweep up before he hopped on window duty, a spray bottle and rag in his hands. With his climbing and jumping skills, he was usually done pretty fast.

"Keep going in here. Don't forget the vents and fans in the back, Raichu, okay?"

She heard a dutiful squeak before she stepped onto the street to view the exterior with a sigh. It really needed a fresh coat of paint. It hadn't received one in nearly five years, and it was starting to show when you looked at the cracked and sun-bleached sills.

She knew if she asked Ethan to do it, he would get it done in a weekend for a pack of beer. Hayate would be too busy with cram work. She didn't want to hire a crew to paint, it would cost her an arm and a leg... Ethan was her best choice. She would go see him and her best friend when she was done cleaning up.

Olivia's mind shifted back to her new tenant with a frown. She was trying to be understanding, but she also felt a little insulted that he was taking over her home. Mr. Emmet intimidated her slightly, something about his expression and intensity that made her a little nervous. She was glad she had the foresight to put that clause to evict him if she thought he couldn't handle living there, but that would only be applicable with the change in seasons.

For now, she would put up with the changes - many of them were for the better and he had assured her that none of them were temporary once he vacated. They were hers to keep.

"A token of my thanks."

He had said, just a touch sheepish, before she stormed out of her home. Realistically, how long could or would Mr. Emmet want to stay? Olivia guessed a year at best. If he stayed any longer, she would be very surprised. She looked at the empty pots in the sill boxes, her face falling into a steep frown as she remembered she would have to transplant her gracideas soon. ------------------------------------------

Gina opened the door and lifted Olivia off her feet with the tight hug she engulfed her in.

"Livvy! So good to see you. It's been an age. Ethan just finished up dinner, but there’s plenty enough for another plate."

A warmth settled in her chest while she was ushered inside and to a dinner table. The LeMars were the closest thing she had to family anymore and it was always so nice to feel so welcomed in their home. Gina's two girls greeted her with a barely contained excitement,

"Auntie! Mama helped me catch a Buizel down by the coast last week."

"Oh yeah?"

Olivia hummed curiously, listening with rapt attention to Sierra's story while Gina, not so surreptitiously, piled her plate high. Conversation was light for the duration of the meal, but once Gina started a fire outside and Ethan put the girls to bed, Olivia knew she was going to be offered a drink and to have a more serious chat outside. She didn't fight it.

"Are you sure you're okay with painting this weekend? I don't want to stress you out."

"Nah, I like to be busy."

Ethan replied, bringing up a glass to his lips with a congenial smile. Gina slid into her line of vision, effectively interrupting their conversation.

"There's been a lot of trucks headed up your way, Livvy. Doing a little remodeling finally?"

Olivia's face turned crimson, and she looked towards the flame, a spike of guilt lancing her heart at the thought of how much was changing.

"I-It’s not me. I have a new tenant and he's... weirdly specific."

Ethan and Gina exchanged looks, what did that mean? Olivia shifted in her chair, hiding a grimace in her glass of beer. She tried to change the subject, joking about losing Hayate next year and having to hire Sierra, but Gina leaned forward.

"Why is a tenant making so many changes to your house?"

Although Olivia had brushed it off with a joke about how Mr. Emmet was footing the cost and had forced the topic of conversation to other things, she wondered to herself why she was accepting these changes with less of a fight. A few days into residence and he was already turning her life upside down - what did the mean for their remaining lease? She could have told him no. She could have forced him to stop his renovations or expelled him... But she hadn't. Although frustrated, she didn't kick him out.

She returned home and found Mr. Emmet reorganizing his room, looking at what appeared to be a small, framed picture that he set abruptly face down when Olivia stuck her head in to apologize for not providing dinner. His posture relaxed a little, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

"I am Emmet. I ordered some food from town. The fried rice was good... I, uh... I bought you some."

"Oh," Olivia was a little stunned by his foresight. "Thank you. I ate at a friend's house, but I'll probably eat it tomorrow."

"Ah..." He trailed off, something about his posture was nervous and Olivia couldn't help but wonder if something had happened. She was reminded of a little kid who was trying to hide a broken vase. "You left earlier. You were upset with me. Because of the changes."

He tapped his fingertips together, searching for words to apologize in a reasonable way. Olivia raised her eyebrows as he released a held breath, the apology sincere, if a little rushed sounding.

"Thank you." She replied, nibbling her lower lip, and folding her arms over her chest. "You're very observant, Mr. Emmet, and you were within your rights, according to our agreement... It's just - It's hard to see so many changes so quickly."

It was her turn to trail off, to half turn and take great interest in the wilted flowers set in a vase on her table. She didn't notice the little tilt to his head when she said that or how his grey eyes seemed to soften imperceptibly when she had her back to him. She tended to her flowers, filling the vase with fresh water, and returning it to the table just as Mr. Emmet said he was going to turn in for the night.

"If you find any issues, please let me know right away. I will have them handled right away. Yup."

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