#i hate the mindset of only caring about yourself and making yourself better and never wanting change and better lives for EVERYONE ELSE TOO

[bloomzone]

GLOW UP DIARY : #1.MINDSET IS EVERYTHING

Life is beautiful galaxy be a writer, genre is fantasy what opens up to me tomorrow is a big, big stage so that is who I am

- ive (song : i am )

Hey heeey sparkles...today is the first part of glow up diary "mindset"..so grab ur notebook and let's guaaaar !

by: 𖧷´ bloomzone 𝅄 ׂׅ

#1 MINDSET

First of all bbg ur mindset is more than just a mindset it's a guiding force that influences how you perceive the world, respond to challenges, and ultimately create the life you envision.

THE IDGAF MINDSET IS THE KEY !

﹙ ✿ ﹚they don't like you..they don't like ur style,hair,music taste, interests ? I DON'T CARE YOU ARE YOU I'M ME ! the idgaf mindset is the solution.. everytime someone say something bad about u think and answer like ok and ? Who the fvck care ?. Stop caring about what ppl think about you IT'S YOU VS YOU stop caring about what other say about u . For example if one of ur friends come up to you and say "____ talk sh* about u" don't ask about what that person said abt u it doesn't matter cuz ur life revolve around u and only u. Life become easier once you stop reacting to negativity and that the GOAL cut off friends who bring don't bring u happiness and only bad mood but surround yourself with friends who bring u positivity and motivate you.

TIPS AND HOW TO START BUILDING YOUR OWN MINDSET:

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ start with listening to podcasts (click here) watch thewizardliz (click here) it will help u so much.💞

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ break up with friends who hurted you before if they are from ur family distance urself ;)

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ stop and STOP creating bad scenario on your mind cuz it will effect on ur mood , be positive 🎀

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ make yourself a propriety act like the person u want to become and always be grateful of what u have rn don't say "why ___ is more popular than me" "why I'm not this pretty?" Cuz this will effect u and u will start overthinking..so be grateful of what u have cuz god have always a better plan for u honey !💌

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ stay private don't tell ppl ur goal and ur future plan !

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ don't listen to ppl who will bring u down they choose to hate u let them sit with that feeling it's not ur fault to focus on your self girlie 🎀

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧ start to don't give a sht about what ppl say behind your back stop oversharing ur personal life (this is the big fault ..u should avoid this and trust me pretty that oversharing=problems)

𝜗𝜚 ⊹ ‧just be yourself but with a better mindset cuz u are the only one who know your worth never let anyone costume u or disrespect you "you changed" always say yes for my worth for my future self what do you think u are ? .. if they don't call u, don't respond to ur text put ur phone away go have a good day set boundaries make ppl respect you like if u walk in a room ppl will say "she an unbothered queen fr".You live for yourself sweetie everyone else is second. 💌

ıllı ⠀ : 🎀 i believe in you and you should believe in yourself to make it happen..take care xoxo .

by: 𖧷´ bloomzone 𝅄 ׂׅ ׂׅ ⠀ ♡ ⠀ !!

[ellecdc]

Hello beautiful! I have a request that is kinda personal! Anyways o was wondering if you could whip something up about reader and (which ever marauder you think best fits) who kinda has big boobs(like f/h) and is kinda self conscious about it (plus her weight cuz she’s chubby) because they sag and not all cute and perky and such? I could just use the comfort of a marauder and your writing 💕 -thank you lovely

I feel like we must be twins or something; I too am a plus-sized H cup girlie 🙋🏻‍♀️ thanks so much for requesting dolly; we're in this together 💖

James Potter x plus size, busty fem!reader

CW: insecurities, body image issues, negative self-talk, mentions of sex but no smut

You could hear the panicky tone of your whine teetering towards hysterical, but you swallowed past the lump in your throat as you discarded another article of clothing. The top joined the growing number of other shirts, dresses, and pants littering the floor of your closet. You were disturbingly close to tears and knew if you turned around to see your sweet, handsome boyfriend who had the audacity to sit casually on your bed without a single care in the world, it’d push you over the edge.

Apparently, he did have at least one care in the world.

“You almost ready, lovie? We have to leave soon if we want to get to Marlene’s on time.” James asked from his place, laying back on your bed as he threw a small stress ball above him and caught it only to fling it upwards again and again. 

The worst part was how sweet he was about it; you’d never know from his gentle tone or word choice that he was basically accusing you of making the two of you late.

It would have been better if he’d been rude or snide, perhaps more overtly accusative – at least then you would have felt validated in how harsh your next words came out.

“I’m going as fast as I can, James.”

Though you didn’t turn away from your closet, you could tell he paused the ball throwing as he calculated your sudden mood change.

“Sorry, sweetheart.” He started carefully, moving to a sitting position. “I just know how much you hate being late, is all. I didn’t mean to rush you.”

Your next exhale came out a little shaky, but from your place in your closet, James couldn’t pick up on it. 

“I know. I’m trying.” You said, working overtime to keep your voice even. He must have picked up on some of the tension anyways, as he rose from his place and came to stand behind you, hands moving to your shoulders instinctively. Unfortunately, with your current mindset – your shoulders immediately flew to your ears, effectively shaking him off of your body.

“Maybe you should go without me.” You admitted quietly. Suddenly, the idea of putting on anything except one of your oversized t-shirts and a pair of sweats felt like nothing short of torture. 

“You don’t want to go?” He murmured just as quietly.

It’s not that you didn’t want to go – although, at this point your answer was leaning heavily towards hell no I don’t. 

You loved Marlene; you were excited to celebrate her birthday, you got her a wonderful present you know she’ll be ecstatic over, and you always had fun with the group when you could all manage to get together. And besides, getting the whole group together was happening less and less now that you were all adults, living separately and working various jobs. 

So no, it’s not that you didn’t want to go.

What you didn’t want was to look at yourself in even one more piece of clothing that was either too tight, too frumpy, too lowcut, or showed off too much skin.

Who even bought these clothes? Why do you own them?

If you asked your mother, she would simply say you were ‘well-endowed’, which roughly translated to ‘you inherited your grandmothers dreadfully large breasts, darling, I’m sorry.’

Some may wonder what defines ‘dreadfully large breasts’. In your case, it was an H cup. 

Well-endowed could be used to describe one of those busty models in lingerie ads, not you.

Yours were large, and long, and marked with stretchmarks and not perky in the slightest. Nothing a good bra couldn’t fix though, right?

Wrong.

Bras that were big enough for breasts like yours were not at all cute. You had to special order them in most cases, and they were always beige or pink and they never did offer you as much lift you as much as you’d like.

If your boobs were the only part of your body causing you grief, you’d probably relent. But skinny girls don’t often have boobs this big, and it wasn’t just your tops that were bothering you.

Every pair of jeans and trousers you pulled over your hips felt too snug, too restrictive. You felt as if one wrong move and you’d pop right out of them like one of those Pillsbury biscuit containers.

James interrupted your mournful musings with a gentle “love?” and brushed the side of your wrist with his finger, clearly hesitant to touch you after you’d shaken him off earlier.

“I can’t find anything to wear.” You admitted.

James looked around at the clothing surrounding you before his bemused face turned back to yours. “What do you mean, love? It seems you’ve found a lot to wear.”

You rolled your eyes and felt the first tear fall. “James...” But he was already in problem solving mode.

“What about this?” He asked as he picked up a tank top you had discarded because the cut was too low, and the straps were too thin.

“I don’t have the right kind of bra for that.”

He looked between your bra covered form and the shirt, clearly not understanding what that meant but not willing to argue about it. 

“Okay...” He said as he dropped the offending shirt back onto the floor. “What about this?”

You didn’t even bother looking at the shirt he was holding. “If it’s on the floor, it’s a no.”

“But why is it a no?”

You looked over to see the button up shirt he was holding. “Because it makes me look...” fat, was going to be the negative ending of your sentence, but James’ face turned hard as he cut you off.

“Beautiful?”

You scoffed. “Sure James, I decided against the shirt because it made me look beautiful.”

“Okay.” James said far more sternly than you believe you’ve ever seen him. You turned and grabbed a t-shirt, so you at least weren’t being scolded by your boyfriend half-naked.

“Am I attractive?”

You reared your head back at his question – not at all where you thought this conversation was headed. “Uhm, yes? Yeah...of course.”

“I’ll forgive the hesitation on account of you being upset.” He said severely which caused you to snort a laugh as you wiped tears away from your eyes.

“Is Sirius attractive?”

Your eyebrows furrowed and you could tell by James’ eyes moving towards your nose that you were scrunching it up in confusion.

“This feels like a trick.”

“You can answer the question honestly.”

“Okay...yes, Sirius is attractive.”

“Okay. And Mary? Is she attractive?”

“Yes.”

James nodded curtly. “And would you say that the three of us have good taste?”

“Wha-”

“Just answer the question.”

“Sure, you guys have good taste, but I don’t see-”

“You want to know what the three of us have in common?”

You sighed and nodded, knowing he was going to tell you regardless. 

“We have nothing physically in common – yet you find all three of us attractive. Alternatively, all three of us have had a crush on you.”

You scoffed. “Shut up, James.”

“I’m not joking.” He said, and you noticed he was almost just as stern as he was when this conversation began. “Sirius said he’d never do anything about it – bro code and all...also he’s like, happy with Moony now or whatever. But Mary had no such qualms; she told me that if things don’t work out between the two of us that she’s throwing her hat in the ring. I made her promise not to tell you - in case you left me for her - but I figured this was a good moment to share.” 

You barked a surprise laugh that seemed to ease some of the tension from James’ frame.

“Now, I don’t like the way you were just talking about my girlfriend.” He said gently, opening his arms as an invitation; an invitation you quickly accepted as you moved into his embrace. 

“I’m sorry.” You murmured into his chest.

“You should be.” He murmured into the hair on your head. 

“I just hate my body sometimes.” You admitted quietly. He never faltered in his gentle strokes of your back but hummed in acknowledgement. 

“Well, I love it all of the time, so.” 

“I don’t see how.” You whined as you pulled back. “My boobs are saggy, my tummy juts out, I’m soft everywhere, I’m covered in stretchmarks.” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re just listing some of my favourite things, sweets. Your boobs?” He said as he moved his firm grip to your clothed breasts. “Look at that! Can’t even fit them in one hand.” He murmured, eyes glazing as he took in the view of your boob pooling around his large hand. “If I want to give your tits the attention they deserve, I need to use both hands! And your tummy...”

He moved his hands down your abdomen, albeit with more consideration than he’d shown your breasts. “I have to admit, this is my favourite spot to lay my head when we’re watching movies, but what I love the most about your tummy?” He said with a low growl as he spun you around aggressively, pushing the front of his hard body up against the back of yours, grabbing roughly at your hips/stomach as he moved his lips to your ears. “Gives me something to hold onto when I’m pounding into you from behind, or better yet, as you ride the fuck out of me.” 

Your face was a furnace and you were sure James could feel the heat radiating from you as he spun you back to face him. 

“What else were you worried about? Stretchmarks?” He said as he pulled his shirt off in one swift movement, showcasing his demi-god body style. “I’ve got them too.” He stated simply as he pointed to marks lining his biceps and pecs, a few on his hips, and pulled his trousers down slightly so you could see them trailing towards his ass.

“I know you’ve seen all of these before too – you’re no stranger to my body.” He said with a salacious wink.

“James...” you moaned, not able to handle anymore sexual innuendos. 

“Okay, okay. I’m sure you get the idea.” He relented as he replaced his shirt. “My point is, you’ll look lovely in anything you put on, but I’d prefer you wear something you’ll be comfortable in. I can have my girl suffering in her head all night.” 

You rested your forehead against his chest, willing away the tension headache that was forcing its way forward after all you just put yourself (and admittedly, James) through.

“What’s wrong with the shirt you’re wearing now?” He asked kindly.

You looked down at the old band-tee, it had a few holes in it and paint stains.

“It has holes in it and paint stains.” You deadpanned.

“Sirius always said to make dishevelled look intentional. Do you have a leather jacket?” He asked, turning toward your closet without waiting for an answer.

Suddenly, James was pulling a leather jacket around your shoulders, and grabbing a pair of heels.

“Now the stains and holes will look intentional. I think you look bad ass.” 

You weren’t as optimistic, but you turned to observe yourself in the mirror. Even if you didn’t see much of a difference, the sight of James looking at you like you hung the moon was enough to convince you to go for it. Either way, you’d be comfortable.

You’re not sure if James had mentioned anything, but both Sirius and Mary made sure to compliment you on your ‘punk rock look’ when you arrived to Marlene’s party 30 minutes late. 

[strawberryicedcookies]

HOW I MANIFESTED MY SP 🧘🏿‍♀️🎀.

soo i started my manifestation journey back in 2019, but it was only until 2022 that i REALLY started to understand it. that whole year i basically just worked on my mental health and self concept and i felt pretty complete and comfortable, even if i was single. Fast forward to august of 2023, the school year had just began and i wasnt really looking for anyone until i met this boyyy he was so cute guys. he matched my energy and i grew a small small crush on himm 😭😭. i started working super hard on my self concept, i took care of myself, i made sure that I KNEW that i did not need him to make me happy. every night i would listen to a subliminal and do SATS as i fell asleep THATS ALL! I did not obsess over him because quite frankly, i knew my worth. i did not focus on the 3-d (because i didnt care) i knew he was mine, i enjoyed my time with him and all the moments we shared. (i was so delusional i just pretended we were dating and i was satisfied). We kept talking and my self concept just got better and better. I listened to a few subliminals and i did SATS, thats literally ALL I DID. Literally a month or two later he asked me out and we started dating.

unfortunately we are no longer together because my self concept got so bad because after i got with him i stopped working in myself like completely. i guess i became to much and he left me (umm fuck it we ball i guess) i didnt even bother trying to manifest him back bro that shit was so fucking crazyy 😭😭. worst moment of all 2023. GUYS WHILE UR DATING YOUR SP WORK ON YOURSELFFF.

SO A LIL RECAP!!

- SELF CONCEPT IS THE STAR OF THE SHOW!! if you feel like you need him, hate yourself, feel empty, or dont know your worth, baby your just not ready for this and you need to take a step back and work on your mental health. It is not just important for manifesting, your mindset is LITERALLY your whole life dude. Work on your self baby, nobody else is going to do it for you, unfortunately not even your sp.

- SUBLIMINALSS!! bro i started manifesting because of them, i love subs so much they help me manifest and help me stay awake while i do SATS, they are so so helpful i 100% recommend. (my favorite sub maker had to be ‘i want it, i got it’ her subs are GOLD.)

-SATS (State Akin To Sleep) bro sats changed my flipping life dude. Ive never manifested so many things in such a short amount of time until i started using SATS. Please watch youtube manifestation coaches explain SATS because theres no way i can fit it into this post. Thats a post for laterr.

-Consistency/ Ignoring the 3-D. I stayed consistent in dont think there was a night where i forgot to manifest bro, i was in a constant state of manifestation. when i tell you I WAS LIVING IN THE WISH FULL FILLED i literally wass!! I did not give one flying shit about what the 3-D showed me, he was my boyfriend n thats solved 🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏿‍♀️.

ANYWAYS GUYS THATS ITTT I WISH YOU GUYS THE MOST JUICY SUCCESS STORIES EVER 😋🎀. Dont make the same mistake i did and keep working on your self concept babes!!

I love you guys! Stay safe and stay soft 💟.

[artofhazbinhotel]

Controversial opinion: I don't like Stolas and I don't want stolitz to become a relationship

Neither of them are 100% in the right, I know that, this isn't because I love Blitz, I don't really care, but Stolas has always got on my nerves. First he makes a sex deal with a guy while he can clearly see he's running for his life and not into it. The deal is the only way Blitz can do his job, that's sexual coercion! Don't believe me? Here's the definition:

"Sexual coercion is unwanted sexual activity that happens when you are pressured, tricked, threatened, or forced in a nonphysical way. Coercion can make you think you owe sex to someone. It might be from someone who has power over you, like a teacher, landlord, or a boss."

Stolas doesn't see it this way but in the beginning of course blitz did and why wouldn't he? It doesn't matter if it was consensual, Stolas has power over him so he'd assume he owes it, he even shows this mindset in full moon where he thinks Stolas is taking the book because he wasn't satisfying him.

Stolas was constantly calling him degrading names too "my little imp" -murder family "my little impish plaything" -truth seekers "itty bitty imps like yourself" -harvest festival(? Don't remember the title) "little creatures" -looloo land. The argument is he didn't mean it as an insult and that's true, he didn't even mean the deal as manipulation, but that doesn't change how it made blitz feel, blitz isn't the type to open up to someone and say 'hey that hurts my feelings ' if stolas really liked him he should have noticed the reactions. He hates it every time, pushing away, changing the subject, you can't be that stupid. You can say stolas was raised this way and yes he was but again how is that blitz's problem? He can be treated disrespectfully because stolas has a shitty parent? So did he.

Let's not forget how he acted at Ozzie's too, when he was called out for being on a date with an imp he hid behind his menu like blitz is an embarrassment, he publicly humiliated him instead of taking up for him, hence why Ozzie and fizz are so much better, they would never. And then Stolas is all sad like "why didn't he wanna cuddle? :(" idk maybe because you reinforced he's worthless in public

And then it's revealed they haven't been doing their deal for a while because stolas feels guilty and it's about time, he should have realized forcing someone to have sex with you to do their job is wrong immediately. When he tells blitz he does it in the worst way possible, he doesn't fully explain why he's taking the book first and that makes blitz panic, and then all the sudden he's confessing his love, what did he think would happen?

They have this huge argument where people say stolas has a trauma response from yelling even though he's never flinched at Stella and wasn't afraid of her, every time she yelled or threw something he just looked dead inside instead of frightened, that's a normal response too, what I'm saying is in that moment he wasn't afraid of blitz at all and even if he was how is that blitz's fault? It was an impulsive reaction not a planned thing to play on someone's trauma

"I think so highly of you, I didn't know you thought so low of me" Stolas says crying, how? And it's not thinking low, it's thinking you think so low, "treating me like one of your little imp servants" he was?? If someone is telling you you did something that hurt them you should apologize instead of making it about yourself, save your crying for when you apologize like "oh my God i did that? I'm so sorry, i didn't mean to, I don't look down on you I promise, I didn't realize " and boom we're slightly better!

"When have I ever looked down on you?" Everything before the deal break where you suddenly try to be better without apologizing and blitz doesn't understand, and the thing about blitz abandoning him with striker, he says blitz sounds like striker, don't do that wtf, you're making someone for guilty for taking their daughter to the doctor? Not everyone is a shitty dad who uses their child as an excuse to sexually and publicity flirt with the guy you're cheating on her mom with. You do not get to make him feel guilty for sending his work to do it while he comforts his scared child

Stolas refuses to acknowledge his own faults aside from the one with the deal, there's too much damage between to be a proper relationship, they shouldn't be endgame but you just know they will be somehow

[anemoiashifts]

how to enjoy shifting again & recover from burn out.

its always about the process & never the outcome.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ mindset.

so what you didn’t shift ? shifting isn’t going away. you have an infinite amount of chances to shift & the greatest part is you only have to do it once “right”. you only have to get to your dr once & show yourself that you’re capable. prove the existence of shifting to yourself.

if you didn’t shift & say something like “i hate that im still in this reality”, try flipping it to “the universe has more to show me in this reality so that i can have the tools to cope & enter my desired reality with more knowledge & insight”. every time you open an app like tiktok or tumblr you’re being exposed to new information which can be draining at times (all in moderation) but knowledge is power. knowing & exposure to information — different perspectives — can be eye opening. you’re also getting time. time to think about where you’re shifting to, to learn to put trust into yourself.

for those of you who have been trying to shift since 2020, what parts of life & lessons would you have missed out on if you had shifted on the first time trying ? the universe has more to show you & is teaching you patience.

the universe or god or even yourself — whatever you believe in — is “preventing” you from shifting for a reason. & guess what ? you’ll come out of it a more fulfilled & experienced person. the universe knows what’s best for you. when you don’t get what you want it’s because the universe has something better for you coming.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ reflect.

would it have been good or healthy for you if you shifted to your first dr. think about the things you’ve scripted. would you really want that life or do you like the just thinking about it ?

reflect on your journey. look at your scripts & knowledge & everything you have come to know since discovering shifting. compare your mindset & journey & your knowledge from then to now.

are you in a better place mentally ? yes ? no ? if not, how can you get there.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ routine & self.

create the routine your desired reality self has. what would she wake up & think everyday ? would she go to the gym & workout or shower ? what would her day to day look like ?

we must become out dr self internally before we can see things begin to materialize in the physical.

fall in love with the process. get excited about falling into those same patterns & routines & aligning with your higher, desired reality self. become her. expect what she expects.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ find the beauty in life.

if you shift, you shift. if you don’t, you don’t. im not saying that you cannot care but be okay with waking up where you fell asleep. don’t put all your eggs in one basket & care about life here. why don’t you care about yourself here but worship your dr self ? it’s still you. it’s still your life. both are you. what’s the difference between the two of you ? nothing because your dr self is you. give yourself room for error & don’t beat yourself up over it. learn how to speak kindly to yourself. go outside on a walk & pick out three beautiful things in nature.

♡ balance.

find balance in life. create a healthy mindset & positive patterns. there is no need to obsess over shifting because everything will work out for you in the end. if you truly believe you will shift one day, then there’s no need to stress because you know the outcome already. you don’t need to think about how you get from a to b. what you need to think about is your worldview & how your thoughts & system of beliefs shape you & ask yourself “are they serving me”? you have time in this reality , how can you not be miserable ? how can you make life here more enjoyable ?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ cutting out things that don’t serve you.

somethings demotivating ? block or mute it. don’t like a method you’ve tried ? you aren’t tied to it. how about a piece of 2020 shiftok advice ? why are you letting someone’s expense have such a chokehold on you. just because it helped them at the time doesn’t mean it will help you. everyone learns differently.

there is no reason to be torturing yourself & putting your valuable time into holding onto things that don’t help you. there is no reason you should be so hellbent on shifting being this & not that. who cares what other people think shifting is ? all that matters is what you believe in to be because it benefits you. fighting someone in a comment section benefits nobody. stop disturbing other people’s journeys & putting unnecessary strain on the community. we all believe in shifting. we all should be supportive of each other, no matter what they believe shifting to be. you could be learning a lot from one another. knowledge is power. learn to appreciate other perspectives & outlooks & their insight. don’t be so quick to dismiss.

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

♡ get excited.

start watching new shows so you can find new places to shift to. make playlists based on your dr. make scripts. make those paper mâché wands people made in 2020 if you’re shifting to harry potter. you’re allowed to get excited. you’re allowed to make it new & fun again. you can make a change for the better anytime. it’s never to late to start over & if restarting your journey from square one will help you then do it. literally adapt the mindset that this is the first time you’ve ever seen shifting on your feed right now. if this was the first video or post you’ve seen in shifting , how would that have shaped your perception of it ?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚.

[writingwithfolklore]

Taking Notes from Editors

I did a post on giving and receiving feedback, but now that I’ve been an editor for a little longer, I’d like to do a follow up on taking feedback specifically from professional editors.

                While ultimately writers are the rulers of their work and can make the final decisions on it, there's a lot of growth in your manuscript to be found by trusting your editor and taking their notes. As an editor, it’s my job to make your work as good as it can possibly be. It’s also my job to maintain your style and voice and make sure everything you do best shines the brightest.

                We’ve studied and practiced this goal. So the biggest thing I want to impart on you is:

1. Trust your editor

Go into the process with the mindset that you'll accept at least 85% of the edits your editor suggests. When another editor works on my writing, I accept about 95% of it, sometimes %100 (for shorter pieces).

Writers sometimes get hung up on the smallest changes an editor tries to make. Be careful not to be too precious, allow your work to be explored from a different perspective and lens.

You can always keep a separate doc that has your original piece, it doesn’t go away or get ruined when an editor works on it. While it's your work in the end, it's helpful to go into it with an open mind. Often feedback you may have never considered is the key to really elevating your piece. Make some room for your editor's opinion and expertise, trust your editor.

2. Choose your battles

If you are going to reject a suggestion, I recommend it be something really worth going to bat for. Choose your battles, and choose only the biggest ones. You ultimately know your work best, so fight only for the stuff you believe is integral to keeping the same.

This will be an easier battle to win if you’ve already accepted the vast majority of other suggestions. Does it really matter if your main character’s name is Jolene or Veronica? Maybe not, so take that suggestion so you can afford to keep her queerness, or the subplot about her mother, etc.

But going back to the trust your editor idea, don’t think about it as a battle. We are not on opposite sides, we’re both fighting for the same thing—to make your work the best it can be. Respectfully acknowledge a suggestion you don’t like, give it a day or two to think on it, and then decide if that’s something you’d really like to advocate for.

As an editor, when a writer has a solid justification for rejecting a suggestion it helps me understand their work better, and builds trust between us.

3. It’s okay you’re not perfect

Sometimes as a writer receiving feedback, my impulse is to be embarrassed I’ve done something ‘wrong’. Then, of course, I go to defend myself or justify it or attack. We don’t like feeling threatened, and it can cause some high tempers and nasty disagreements in the editing world.

It’s really important that you recognize that impulse to defend yourself, and choose not to react to it.

By that I mean, if you feel yourself getting defensive over a piece of feedback—take a deep breath, don’t answer it right away. You don’t need to explain yourself. Think on it for a bit, just try it out. See what happens when you make that change. If you still hate it, think about why. If you’re just rejecting it on impulse, you’re probably in that “defend” state.

                You’re not being attacked, and you’re not a bad writer. It’s okay if you’ve made a decision that didn’t land, or a mistake that’s kind of embarrassing.

                As an editor, I can assure you that I don’t judge my writers. Ever. When I make suggestions, it’s from a pure ‘just trying to help’ standpoint, and I really appreciate when my writers are open to my suggestions and ideas and accept or reject my suggestions with friendliness and grace.

                I’m not a super experienced editor in any way, but if anyone has any questions about the editing process, the job, or anything else about it, I will do my best to answer!

Next post we're going to talk about when to reject a suggestion or feedback because the editor/reader isn't always right. Follow to catch that when it's out!

[chattemagique]

yan!Tendou has his own way of curing your low self-esteem

summary: yan! Tendou fucks you in front of the broken mirror, after hearing you talking bad about your appearance, to show how pretty you are.

author's note: was going thru my notes and damn, I can actually write, so posting this for you guys, a bit (lot) personal self-insert, hope y'all can enjoy too, but it would be much better if you couldn't relate. anyways, peace and love 🫶🏻🕊️💞

pic from ブリテッリ @BRTRmilk_ on Twitter

tw: mentions of self-harm, body dysmorphia, low self-esteem, rejection trauma, self-hatred, non-con, skin carving.

all characters are 18+

minors dni

Life with Tendou Satori was bombastic(side eye, m sorry guys😭), you never knew when he's going to "explode" and affect you. He was as unpredictable as he was on the playground. As it usually happens when people are living together, they start to unintentionally pick up each other's behavioral patterns. You became as explosive and as unpredictable as him. Of course, it can't be denied that three months here, with him, after kidnapping weren't also great for your mental health, which led to the weakening of your psyche.

It's not like you've ever loved or liked yourself. You couldn't even understand why this whole thing happened to you, since you weren't even that pretty, not really wise too. You'd probably consider yourself as one of the last choice. So there were many other more beautiful girls around, why out of all people YOU???Dysmorphia returned to you even during the worst moments, making the whole situation much more horrible.

You were standing in front of a bedroom mirror and couldn't stand the way you looked, you hated yourself not only for your appearance, but also for your past mistakes, your weak personality and character traits that let other people exploit and mock you, and he was another evidence.

"I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT"  

Mirror flying down, glass hitting the floor and the pieces scattered in all directions. You wanted to hurt yourself so bad, you wanted to end these sufferings, you didn't understand why you deserve this, but at the same time this was exactly what a bitch like you deserves.

"(Y/N)!" 

Your red haired kidnapper barged into the room only to find yourself sitting in the corner and crying.

"What happened?" 

"I, -I.." your breathing was deep and fast. 

"I hate the way I look, I wish I was born a pretty girl, I wish I had other mindset, I wish I wasn't different, I wish I could fit in, but I'm not! And everytime I feel good about myself, she's always coming back!" you shouted it loud, while grabbing onto your head.

I wish I wasn't different, I wish I could fit in  

Oh, that hit home to Tendou.

So you think he'd fall for you if you were like everyone else? You think he'd find other girls attractive when you were around? You think if you'd fit in he'd consider yourself as his soulmate?

Well, I guess you had to learn this lesson as he once learned.

"Get up."

"N-no.."

"GET UP."

Quiet cry.

"(y/n), don't make me do things that I don't want to do."

You slowly got up, keeping your hands around your stomach, facing the ground.

"I-I just don't understand... why me..?" you said with soft, tearful voice.

Why are you still asking him this question? 

As if he didn't tell you enough.

He unhurriedly came closer to hug you. Usually it would take longer if not forever for you to hug him back, but this time you just needed that support from no matter who, even if it’s from a man who ruined your life. If you can't give it to yourself, maybe he could.

Abruptly he lifted you up and brought to bed. You could tell where it was going, you just didn't care anymore, because it has already happened many times. And hey, at least he likes you..

He removed soft fabrics from your body and unbelted his pants. Having you in a missionary position, he pulled you by your thighs and harshly entered you. Loud gasp escaped from your mouth.

For foreplay his thrusts were quite rushed and hard, you didn't even get wet enough for his dick.

"S-satori.. ple-ease.."  you whimpered his last name in a bit pesky manner.

"Say that you're beautiful (y/n)," you were just whimpering.

"SAY IT" he repeats it louder than before, suddenly squeezing your nipple as you moan out loud.

"Tendou-u, p-please, stop... it hurts"

He continues to twist your nipple even harder. 

"I AM, I am beautiful" you yell out. 

"That's right," Satori releases your nipple and starts gently massaging the sore area with his palm, without slowing down the pace and strength of thrusting. 

"What else?" looking into your eyes, long, slender fingers tenderly caressing your breast area, periodically making a circle movement around your areola. 

"I am smart"

"Good girl"

"I am sexy" 

"You're right, princess" he increases his pace, grabbing your hips and slightly lifting up your pelvis to hit the spot. You let out a loud moan, trying to stabilize your breath. You feel your orgasm coming and your vaginal muscles slightly pulsating as you finally come on his cock, his pace being as fast as before. 

"I am loved"

Tendou leans down to kiss you. You do not resist. If at least somebody can love you, then it's better than nothing. Your tongues weawe together like snakes during mating season. You can't believe that you don't want to pull away from your kidnapper, all you want is this moment to last forever as your bodies unite in one.

You can feel him gradually increasing his pace, as it becomes harder for you to breathe. He gets it as he pulls away from you and finishes inside you. Picking up from the floor the broken mirror glass to carve into your skin "beautiful" and "mine".

[animeyanderelover]

Yandere tamaki, bakugou,kirishima,shinsuo(separate)

Taking care their unwilling kidnapped sick darling

It's been too long since I've writen for My Hero...

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationhip, possessive behavior, obsession, clinginess, overprotective behavior, mentions of abduction, sickness

Unwilling kidnapped darling is sick

Katsuki Bakugou

💥 Katsuki keeps that frowning scowl on his face as he forces you into not one but three blankets and just tells you to rest and do as he tells you. Is he angry at you? Probably, he blames you a little bit for getting yourself sick like this. You should have done this and that like he told you too but you just had to play the rebel which is, admittedly his doing. Kidnapping you was a wrong choice but a choice the hero made nevertheless. Your rebellious attitude had to be expected but it's incredibly hard for Katsuki to hold back his temper at times. He won't succumb to his anger and scream at you and scare you like some sort of asshole. He isn't the violent bad guy you might write him off as and he is adament to prove that to you. So maybe he's partially responsible for your sickness now too, he should have taken better care of you.

💥 Despite what his darling might think, Bakugou is actually disturbingly good in nursing them back to health. He's informed and knows how to use that knowledge practically too. He cooks the food that will benefit your health, knows how much you need to take from which medicine per day to feel less like shit and still respects the fact that you need rest. Sure, he checks still multiple times a day for your temperature or to see if you have no problems whilst sleeping but otherwise he just lets you rest. Katsuki even acts like he wants the distance, tells you that he doesn't want to get sick too and luckily you never test him in this conviction since you despise him. He might want to cuddle up to you a bit but knows that you'd hate it and that would just mean scratching his ego. A hint of arrogance can't be helped though since he basks in the fact that you're more reliant on him now and he occasionally rubs that into your face although he doesn't push you to the point where you refuse said help.

Eijiro Kirishima

♦️ Kirishima makes an instant fuss over his darling when they start feeling sick and tired and is likely over the top enough to swoop them up in his arms and carry them into their bed. His poor baby got sick so it's obviously his job as their loving boyfriend to take care of them now that they'll need him. Everyone gets sick once in a while, don't worry. This will pass soon. I' say that he has less knowledge than Katsuki and whilst he might know the common folktales how to help with this and that, he has only vague ideas when it comes to the medicine. He's probably the type who'd actually try to nurse you back to health without relying on pills and medicine unless he realizes that it would seriously help you. Tries to make jokes in hopes of making you feel a bit better, he generally talks a lot unless he knows that you just need some silence right now.

♦️ Kirishima kind of glosses over the fact that you're still an unwilling participant in this all because this man has straight up kidnapped you, even if it was in a risky situation. He's decided to put his delusional walls up in order to defend his actions and with your sickness in full work right now, you have not the energy to argue with him anymore. Eijiro grows even more clingy, tells you that he has a robust immune system so you won't have to worry about him getting infected by what you have. Affection and cuddles are good medicine too after all! Well, that's at least what he always tells you when he has you trapped in his grip. He spends hours like this with you where he dozes off a bit and you somehow manage to do too even if begrudgingly. He is a bit more clueless at times but refuses to let you help, reassures you that he'll figure out how much of this specific medicine you need. You just rest and get well soon.

Hitoshi Shinsou

💟 Hitoshi feels guilty after the abduction of his darling, especially since he used his quirk without any hesitation. Sure, you were in danger but it doesn't change that he feels like he just used you the way everyone else was always afraid he'd use his quirk when he was younger. This guilt only gets fed more when you fall ill because you vehemently won't listen to his pleads to be more careful and due to the increased stress of the situation you're in. He sort of panics at first since he hates to admit it but he doesn't really know what he is supposed to help you with in this situation. There is this lingering hope that he can change your opinion of him at least a bit though by taking care of you now and proving to you that he genuinely loves you. He just sends you to bed at first and spends hours in front of his laptop, reading online what he can do for you now.

💟 His approach is similar to that of Katsuki in that he also lets you rest enough. He knows that you're in a bad mood now that you've fallen sick and are forced to rely on him more and for that very reason he's afraid that you'll potentially snap at him and hurt his feelings if he acts too overbearing. It's already a relief enough that you accept the food he prepares you and the medicine he gives you to ease your symptoms. He never brags about it to you though, Hitoshi is just grateful that you comply with him right now instead of continuing to be angry and worsening your health even more by doing so. You might accept his help because you're worried that otherwise he might brainwash you again, he doesn't know and is too afraid to ask you that question. He doesn't speak much but there is some sort of pride bubbling up in his chest when he notices that his treatment helps you and the sickness you're enduring as of now.

Tamaki Amajiki

🌗 Tamaki is devastated by the cold shoulder his darling gives him and copes with it by thinking lowly about himself. He understands you, he's just a miserable person isn't he? Taking you away out of his anxiety to be left by you and ruining you like this, he really is a low piece of trash. When your health slowly deteriorates, the guy suffers a small panic attack and instantly blames himself as the reason. He must really make you sick. A part of his consciousness knows that he shouldn't overdo it but that part is muddled under all the panic that his brain produces as he can't help but turn overbearing now. His poor sweetheart is suffering so much right now, how couldn't he? Even if it's just your common cold, Tamaki will act really dramatic and make it look like something more serious as he starts acting like the worst mother hen you've ever met.

🌗 You're placed in a bed with multiple pillows and blankets and he even goes out to buy you more, occasionally even gets you a cute plushie to cheer you up a bit. He spends a lot of time in the kitchen or hunched over his mobile and reading articles how to help you. He gets you medicine and asks you in a jittery tone if you could take a bit since it should help you. He's still scared that you'll hiss at him, insult him even if he almost expects it because of what he has done. He lingers around you, often peeks into your room to see if nothing is bothering you. Deep down Tamaki really wants to lay cuddled up next to you though even if he might get sick too. His immune system should be strong though, right? You find him staring at you when he thinks like that although he looks embarrassed away the moment he snaps back to reality. If he's desperate enough to tip into his delusional side, you might wake up one day to his form holding you tightly against him, mumbling that you'll be fit soon.

[goodolddumbbanana]

I... I need Sun to get loose, man. I need Sun snap. I just can't take it anymore, seeing Sun just like that.

Right now, I hate Monty, Puppet and Foxy very much. Sun is right, who gave them the right to decide what they can do with moon?

Illusion of choice, they keep asking Sun but don't like the answer Sun gives.

Giving permission to my ass, like if Sun said no, bet they are still doing it.

So righteous, it feels sick. I hope Sun would never forgive them and cut ties with them. I hope Sun cuts ties with everyone else and starts a new beginning, even Moon.(earth and lunar have flaws, and they are really going in a thin ice right now, but still, they just think more for themselves and honestly, good for them...)

Because from the beginning until now, Sun was stuck, and kept being stuck.

Getting orders around by Moon, Monty, Puppet, Eclipse.... Forcing him making choices so obviously they still do it their ways, that Even Sun wants to save NM, no one would do that for him. And they only ask Sun, like just because what...? Suddenly they care for Sun's feelings? Heck no, they only do it so after that, Sun will stop crying and hating them because it is Sun's choice, it's Sun who decides to kill Moon, not Monty and Puppet.

To be honest, Sun and Eclipse are really alike, they are both getting trapped, if not the hand of others, so the hand of fate.

Sun getting pushed around like a joke, a trash can, by these people supposed to care about him.

And now some people, keep saying it is Ooc and Sun should forgive Moon and try more to change him?

Well I am sorry but I'd rather die than get back to my abuser, if they are not changing for the better. They are just like Moon, promise, promise, promise and then just do it worse, do the opposite.

And some people say New Moon is no longer abused like Old Moon, why did he get treated that way. Because back then, only Sun and Moon, and their co-dependents were never good, old Moon was not supposed to take everything on Sun, and Sun was not supposed to forgive Old Moon for every time Moon was doing something bad for him. Their relationship, was strained at best and toxic at the worst. Sun almost gets killed by Moon several times, and still keeps blaming himself, blaming everyone when it happens, because in Sun mind, it's not Moon fault, it's KC, it's Eclipse.

Sun is tired now. He is no longer trying to fix things himself, no longer letting people on his nerves anymore. (He tries his best okay)

And what does it connects to New Moon?

We have seen so many episodes recently, the way Sun keeps threatening people. Sun has threatened...? to kill Cat nap, Papyrus, creator, eclipse....? What does it mean?

It means Sun has gone tired, he finally learned that from Earth, because it turned out after Several therapy with Earth, Moon is not a good person and Sun was forced to be happy to keep Moon sane. And he shouldn't feel bad for thinking more for himself and some people would never change, not until they are seeing it themselves.

And it makes me sick in my stomach when people keep defending Moon, and say, think more for yourself is narcissistic behaviours, because you are supposed to forgive family no matter what they do. I am so angry at this mindset because as a person who grow out of it, it feels so hurt to be the one who tries to keep the relationship together while guess what... Nobody cares and just abused it. They never see it. For example my family, they never see how much their lashing out hurting me, just only about them, them, and them. And I always have to be the one to say it is not their fault, it's me, or someone else, again and again.

Growing up like that messes people up a lot. I have to numb myself, I don't even know what I feel anymore because I am not supposed to feel sad, I suppose to always be happy. Because I am happy making them happy.

And the breaking point happened when I went to college, when I get away from them. It hurts to think back, when I don't even have the nerve to think bad about them, not even in my thoughts.

I see Sun in me so much. Because of that, Tired of one person crap and then never take it from anyone anymore? Go girl!!!

Putting some boundaries for yourself is good, and if someone refuses to acknowledge it, well, good for them.

[fangbangerghoul]

I almost didn't have one.

But look at me trying to write.

Thanks @therealgchu for tagging me even though I am not always posting as much lately!

I tag whoever sees this

Under the cut a rough snippet of Chapter 10 of Fleeting Pleasures

If you haven't read it yet, now is your time cause we are closing in on the finale

There was a knock on the door that threw him out of his ruminating. The meeting had been a week ago but it still plagued him but then again there were quite of few things that still plagued him. Sam was grateful he was mostly dressed still from passing out the night before when he felt another somber evening drown him with his liquor. There were fragments of memory from when Walter said he wanted to discuss something with him when he was in a more sober mindset.

He waltz over to the door, feet dragging and his mind pounding causing him to down the rest of the water pouch.

“Yeah?” He said with a volume so it could be heard from the other side of the door before he opened it himself. There was Walter just as he had guessed it could have been. The man was dressed and looking clean as he normally did and Sam wondered what the hell time it was.

“Ah, you’re up.” Walter said with a bit of a sarcasm in the sound of his faux surprise. Sam raised an eyebrow curious to what the old man had up his sleeve. It wasn’t common that he came to Sam to talk about anything in particular since he only really discussed finances with Sarah. His participation at the Constellation while valuable was more like a face for him to wear in his free time.

“Yeah, I reckon that I am.” Sam’s arm leaned his weight on the door. He could hear the gravel in his own voice for once and recognized that it did not sound as welcoming as he felt it probably should have. His mind was still waking up as he continued to wait for more context on this meeting Walter wanted to have. Walter’s eyes would occasionally drift around the hallway as if he was making sure no one was around to eavesdrop.

“Go ahead and clean yourself up a bit.” Walter’s body relaxed a bit more as he crossed one arm and gestured towards Sam. “We should probably go somewhere with less ears for the discussion I care to have with you.”

Sam was starting to hate the vague nature of the conversation but he had nothing better planned since Cora was with her mother for once. The only real positive that came out of being stabbed and going on a Crimson Fleet rampage was that Lillian spent more time with Cora. Something he thought would never happen but he wasn’t going to be the one to look a gift ashta in the mouth.

“Alright, give me 10.” He hesitantly agreed but Walter shooed with his hand as to signal him to hurry before Sam closed the door. There were plenty of thoughts racing in his head about what this could be. Walter wasn’t too keen on the Ghoul subject in the meeting but he did seem lost in thought for most of it. The only time he really spoke was when bringing up the finances she had cost the Constellation, the liability of having someone with a high bounty on their premises, and occasionally asking Sam why he was so gun ho about bringing someone who clearly didn’t want him near them back. Sam was angered by the questioning especially since Walter was with them on Neon when Ghoul did more than her share to secure an Artifact for them.

[thatsanswitch]

A Letter To An Ex Friend

You groomed me.

It’s embarrassing how long it took for me to realize that. We met when I was fourteen, you were five years older than me, it was three months after I escaped my dad. You were an adult, I was a vulnerable kid. You took advantage of that. 

You added me to an rp server. At first it was great, I fell in love with the writing style, I made one of my closest friends, I felt safe. 

That is when the abuse started. 

You were manipulative, mean, downright cruel at times. Everything was about you. If we did something you didn’t like, no matter how small, you would berate us until I was in near tears. Every move was careful, and scary, because what if I upset you again? I don’t want to be yelled at, I didn’t want to cause another tantrum. 

When someone tried to speak up against you, against what you were doing, you made it seem like they were suddenly a bad guy in your story. And you did a fantastic job of making them think they were in the wrong, like they were the bad person for trying to point out your wrongs.

The guilt tripping was awful. God forbid you weren’t at the center of everything, you would throw a fit until you were in the spotlight, until all of our attention was on you. 

I’m sorry

Please don’t be mad

I didn’t mean to

It was stupid of me, I’m sorry

I’m so sorry

Please don’t hate me

We were your puppets, your punching bag. Your bad days turned into our worst, if anything went wrong in any way, we were the ones to take the brunt of it, and apologize for it, for our existence. 

And then, with you, twenty years old while I was fifteen, coerced me into writing smut. At the time, I didn’t realize how fucked up that was. You would encourage me to write it, then shame me for it. If I wrote a smut scene with the person my age, you would get mad, force me to write another one with you. Do you know how damaging that was? Whenever I would try to explore my sexuality, you usurped it, made me do what you wanted, and then made me feel disgusted and ashamed. 

Nothing was ever good enough for you. The only time you were happy was when you or your characters were front and center, getting all the attention. You expressed yourself through your one dimensional characters, and steam rolled over any scene where one of us tried to do the same. Your excuse? Your mental illnesses. I have a shocking thing to tell you, it wasn’t your mental illnesses, you were just a shitty person, doing shitty things. 

You know, you never truly apologized. You hurt me so much, you caused me to nearly quit writing entirely. I can’t count the number of times I cried myself to sleep, hating myself for upsetting you, blaming myself for everything. 

You’re a bad person, and an even worse friend. Do you understand how much pain you caused? Do you even realize you hurt us? Do you even care? 

Don’t, for once in your life, make this all about you. No, your mental illnesses didn’t make you do this, don’t hide behind it and make yourself out to be the victim. 

The one good thing to come out of our friendship, was you introducing me to my best friend. It’s the only reason I don’t regret being your friend. 

I hope you learned to stop hurting people, I hope you have grown as a person, but honestly, I doubt it. I’m sure you’re still stuck in that “woe is me” mindset and can’t see that you’re the problem. 

Don’t do that this time. For the sake of everyone around you, learn how to be a better person. 

-Emma

@fluidityandgiggles

[emmieblueeyes]

Let me introduce you to my inner voice. She is one serious bitch! She's cruel, violent and she hates me.

At my worst moments of failure and personal recognition of lameness, she is there to cast a shadow over me. She tells me that I am disgusting. She tells me that I am a mistake. That I am ugly and that no one would miss me. She twists harmless comments made by the people in my life into cruel proof that if I was to die today, people would move on. She tells me I am a coward. She tells me everybody, especially me would be better off if I wasn't here.

She makes me cry. She also makes sense to me. I know her, she's been around for a long time and I secretly believe she's right.

Positive mental health has been made into a morbidly obese happiness eater. People are applauded and heralded as positive role models when they tell you on various media platforms how to keep smiling, how to chase your goals, how to be happy in spite of your traumas, and road rage at traffic. Most of all, these welfare and mental health gurus tell you various steps on how to have a positive or solution focused mindset that will eradicate the toxic inner voice.

I am going to a funeral tomorrow. For a client that I cared about and I want to honour them. I work in social work. I bought a dress. My boyfriend asked to see pictures that he could look at from across a different time zone. The evening descended into chaos. Seven months ago I was 24 stone. I am now 17 stone. I wasnt always big. Five years ago, I had a wonderful body that I wasn't grateful for and judged. I used to wear dresses everyday. Now I rarely wear them because my big belly and tree trunk calves cause me to wince and so I wear clothes that are strategic in what they highlight and hide. I go to the gym every day. I have cut out wheat, sugar and I live in calorie deficit. It works. Week on week, I lose pounds, small and great. But when I wear the dress, there is still mounds of fat everywhere. I can't send any photos to my boyfriend. He's not going to be turned on by my morbidly obese backside and bouncy castle physique. I am not turned on by it. I have another 7 stone to lose to be at my target. I look terrible in the dress. I look terrible full stop. I look as large as I did at 24 stone. I don't look normal, I look like an eye sore.

That's when the bitch serves me her best hits. She unleashes such torment that I want to die. I truly want to close my eyes and not wake up. I don't think I would really be missed for long. I am a blimp. Remembered and then forgotten. Not truly needed by anyone that couldn't replace me. I am temporarily suicidal. Seriously and not.

I say this as someone who not only works in mental health but as a trainee therapist about to qualify this year.

Good mental health is not the absence of toxic thoughts or never having a desire to die or to hurt yourself. It is the ability to know how to make sure that you around tomorrow and the day after. To continue even with a bitch throwing shade. To try again, even when you believe her. Good mental health is being able to hold a state of hope and hopelessness - waiting for the choas to quieten and move towards a kinder reasoning.

I want media platforms to talk more about the bitch. Maybe if we talked more honest about her and her long-term stay in our own lives, more suicidal thoughts would stay temporary, and we wouldn't hide this bully so effectively. We could help each other wait it out. Like strangers at the bus stop during a storm. We talk, and we joke because together, it feels a little less shit and the bus seems to get there quicker.

[the-raging-tempest]

👾 for zrise please!!

Hey Romeo!! I’m not really sure how I do these but here we go! These are so hard to choose from but! I went for Death Is In The Air by SAKIMA

Overall this song to me for Zrise is about death. His own and others. Death is always around him. Follows him. It’s also about losing yourself. To your emotions. To your ambitions. Your justifications.

__

Is my heart breaking

Or do I have one at all

Am I feeling or faking

I don’t know anymore

Zrise wants to believe he’s a very heartless careless and callous person. Kind of in a self protective way. Because if he doesn’t have a soul, heart, etc then he can excuse what he does. He often feels he’s bad at living. Bad at being a person. Does he even care about the things he tells himself he cares about? Most of the time no. Most of the time what he truly cares for he tries to hide deep. Makes excuses. What he wants he can’t admit to himself.

What’s in the back of my head?

It’s just like white noise

Or a demon under his breath

Telling me it’s time to dance with death

Some nights I’m possessed

Anger, bitterness, resentment, sadness, a lot of emotions get the better of him and he feels he has little control of ‘acting out’. He’s always getting in trouble for pushing the wrong boundaries. Obviously some of these result in violence. In ways he regrets. Often for various different reasons. But he hates his emotions. He feels ‘possessed’ by them. Unable to let them go.

No I never

See it coming

Till it holds me down like an anchor

No I never

Hear the drumming

Till I’m too far into the rapture

Much of this is the same as above with the added. It isn’t until the repercussions hit him in irreversible ways do they register. Also to me this evokes the drowning.

I wish I could be brave

This line does a lot for me for his character that is hard to put into words. He often pretends he’s brave. Often looks down on cowards. But he himself IS one. He hates it about himself. He’s ultimately afraid to die, afraid to be alone, afraid to be unloved. He only gathers the courage to do the things he does because he believes he must to get what he wants. He wishes he could stand up for himself. Wishes he could actually practice what he preaches. No matter the consequences.

Do it or don’t I never know so I

Keep dancing on a pipe dream

Keep laughing when I wanna scream

He’s actually never clear of what he’s doing is helping him get closer to what he wants. Part of him knows no matter what he does he’s kind of fucked. Finding a cure is a pipe dream. Because even if he gets it likely it won’t solve all his problems. But it’s what he has to do. The last line is very him in his trickster mindset. He tries to find some twisted sense of joy in his misery.

I feel the ache of the waiting

I feel the tar in my lungs

For every debt that I’m paying

I’m no further along

This also calls back to the drowning for me. The ache of waiting for his mother to return and comfort him. Which never comes. The tar of the water and congealed blood in his lungs. For everything he does to try and prove himself to his mother he feels just as trapped. Just as unloved.

What if I give up the ghost

And just become one myself

What if he just stops fighting? Stops trying to survive? What if he just died instead? Would that be better?

Dunno why I’m holding my breath

‘Cause they all let me down in the end

And I just forgive them

Has to do with most people he grows close to. Most of the people he learns to trust and love end up betraying him. Just as he does to others. Because that’s the only kind of relationship he knows. He forgives them in the sense that he just allows it all to happen again.

No I never

See it coming

Till I lose myself to the anger

No I never

See it coming

Till The crying turns into laughter

I wish I could be brave

Much the same as similar lyrics as before. But instead we end on a more sinister note. Acknowledging the anger and how he leans into this vindictiveness. Where when others hurt him he wants to laugh. Loose himself and hurt them in return.

[primnroses]

Plenty of people ship NH, SH and them as poly and completely erase Sakura simply because they don't like her. I don't understand why that particular anon feels like they're betraying anyone. If you don't care about Hinata then you don't. Why force yourself? Love whatever you want, it still doesn't change canon. So do whatever y'all please. And this is coming from someone who is obsessed with Hinata and NH and very anti SH or them as a poly ship 'cause they never make sense to me.

Plenty of people ship NH, SH and them as poly and completely erase Sakura simply because they don't like her.

Erasing Sakura from Team 7 dynamics and adding Hinata isn't an uncommon practice in the fandom, but it is odd considering they preach about hating Sakura but giving Hinata all her characteristics.

I don't understand why that particular anon feels like they're betraying anyone.

Anon was talking about betraying mainly sasusaku because they like narusaku, so what about Sasuke? Because from a shipping pov that is closer to canon standards like anon is saying, it's very difficult to ship Sasuke with anybody that isn't Sakura. All simply because: one, Sasuke has had a hostile behavior with the female character he has interacted with (besides his mother) and second, he has completely ignored the rest. The only woman he developed a bond with was Sakura, to whom he ended up marrying despite his hatred blinding him during part II.

"Betraying" Sasuke feels like it goes completely against his judgement to put him together with another female simple based on his behavior towards them i.e rejecting Karin more than once and ignoring Ino. So seeing narusaku as a potential ship is betraying sasusaku and Sasuke.

However, Sakura is very shippable because she has interacted with every single character at some point of the series and they have never expressed hostile behaviors with her i.e Rock Lee, Naruto, Kiba, Neji, Sai... and that would "betray" Sasuke for the same reasons I explained above.

And the same with Naruto except Naruto loved Sakura and his bond with Sasuke are the bases of sns.

But anon feels bad for Hinata because she has had no interaction with other people other than her cousin and her teammates, so pairing up Naruto with sasusaku is "betraying" Hinata from a shipping pov. That's why anon feels bad about her.

Anon's shipping preferences are mainly based on how the manga portrays these characters and the feelings you get while reading them. At the end of the day, you're free to feel and ship whoever you want. I gave anon the idea to completely forget about Hinata's existence if that made them feel better.

And this is coming from someone who is obsessed with Hinata and NH and very anti SH or them as a poly ship 'cause they never make sense to me.

With this sentence you're telling me that you ship based on canon too, because it's true that Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata don't make any sense. With that mindset you should be able to understand why anon feels te way they feel about shipping and betrayal.

[xoxoauntscripty]

Hiya! I know you don't work in EMS anymore but I was wondering, do you have any tips for someone hoping to get into the field? I've been interested in emergency response pretty much forever (see: since about six) and I'm now in college and eyeing the EMT course with an ultimate goal of paramedic. Thanks for all you did on ScriptMedic over the years, it's a goldmine for both writers and medically interested peeps! I love clicking through the archives and reading everything, it's such a great resource.

Happy new year!

Hey! I'm going to give you the unsexiest advice you will ever get, but it's all things I wish someone had drilled into my head before I started:

The money will suck. The money will ALWAYS suck. It will probably suck more over time, because I've never ever had raises that kept up with inflation. That may not matter to you now but may matter A LOT down the road. And if that's something you can't live with, choose another path NOW.

Take care of your body. Lift weights. Do push ups. Maintain a healthy weight. Your career length depends on your body.

Never, ever, EVER lift with your back - ALWAYS with your knees. I've seen too many careers end from back injuries.

People will be ASSHOLES to you more often than you can possibly believe, and you will have no recourse but to sit there and take it.

No patient can be as abusive as the system.

EMS is, above all else, a customer service job. That means you will need SO MANY soft skills you probably won't have yet. Diplomacy. Getting along with people who won't shut up about topics you hate. Working with jerks or people who don't care about the job the way you do. Putting up with abuse.

EMS training will make you believe the job is supposed to be about intervening in life and death events. This will make up about 1% of your calls. The other 99% isn't a waste of time but it can feel like it if you lie to yourself that your job is about saving lives. (It's not.)

You won't necessarily be broken by the times you try to help and failed. You WILL be broken by the BS admin in the system. By knowing there's a better way and not being able to behave that way.

Your job is not to fix anything, your job is to try. Set your standards of 'I did better than last time.' Because the chances to make real lasting interventions are VERY rare.

Most of the time the most value you can bring to a situation is kindness and compassion. It's also the first thing you want to abandon when you're tired, exhausted, and overwhelmed. This is the hardest work.

Me, before We, before Them, but only in an emergency.

ABC - Ambulate Before Carry.

Mindset, mindset, mindset. Decide who you want to be and what values you want to live by. Because you can survive mistakes, loss, horror, violence, ANYTHING, and live with yourself after, if you can honestly tell yourself you lived by your value system.

Get comfortable with the idea that you will see more death, disease, and horror than any of your non first responder friends. That means it will be hard to talk about what you see. Don't talk about the WHAT, talk about how it makes you feel - "This call made me feel really sad and helpless", not "We went to this house and did CPR and...". Learn how to transmit your experience without transmitting details that keep people trying to understand rather than listening to your experience.

Make a point to seek out and celebrate the good. "Today I was nice to someone who no one has been kind to in a while." "Today I got to help a mom who was really worried about coming home to her kids." "I got to help people sleep easier knowing someone like me was out there for them." Because the negative stories - abuse and hate and neglect and sorrow and loss and pain and fear and just plain exhaustion - those stories are POWERFUL. Counter them on purpose.

If you're hoping helping enough people will make you feel like a Good Worthwhile Person.... It won't. That's one of the hardest lessons I've ever had to learn. Liking yourself doesn't depend solely on doing good things.

Learn something from every call, even if it's something tiny.

Ask old people about their lives when you can. They're fascinating, and usually pretty neglected.

Ask happy married people how to make it work. They love it and you'll love them for it.

Fall in love with your patients, just a little bit.

Your coworkers will fall into 3 categories: naive, burned-out, and burned-in. Aim to be the last, and be VERY careful what you learn from the other 2 groups.

You can learn as much from a partner you can't stand as you can from one you love. Learn who you want to be, AND who you don't.

Learn motivational interviewing. Your job will be SO MUCH EASIER.

Get a shrink BEFORE you start, and ignore anyone who thinks you "shouldn't need help" coping with what you'll see and experience. Seriously. Your mental health matters even more than your physical health.

That's about all I can think of.

I can't in good conscience recommend EMS as a career, but don't let that stop you from following your heart and your dreams.

And if nothing else, you will learn SO MUCH about groups other people ignore - the sick, the elderly, the disabled, the homeless, the lonely. Listen to them. Learn from them. Be with them.

Good luck.

xoxo, Aunt Scripty

[jiraikwei]

pet peeve

sorry this post just turns into insane ranting garble i start sounding like im 12 , theres nothing of substance to read

this is something insanely stupid and even hypocritical of me to get annoyed at , but i absolutely cannot stand it when people online pretend like they're more mentally ill than they are . i hate when people put some sort of mental illness wordsalad in their bios like ' jirai ' , ' landmine girl ' , ' menhera ' i hate when people obviously try to act like ame / kangel after playing NSO or some other fictional character when they were absolutely nothing like them before . they practically brag about being mentally ill and then only showcase the same 5 symptoms that are insanely fetishized and none of the 100 others that aren't as ' cute ' . it makes me lose my mind . it feels like such a disgusting mockery it makes me want to rip my skin open . i cant stand even imagining anyone could see these shitty obvious yandere larp posts and put op on the same level as someone whos actually struggling . just this unbridled rage festers inside of me you dont know what its like stop fucking quoting anime characters so you can achieve some aesthetic go fuck yourself

i hate it because i hate myself and i hate the things i do , witnessing someone grift on the KAWAII DESU symptoms while im on a private twitter account typing the most disgusting unforgivable things i can possibly conjure up about the people i love because of how angry i feel over something so idiotically , stupidly minuscule like an actual fucking child . i cant make a single friend in my life because im genuinely so terrified of people and their intentions with me that when i somehow make a friend i genuinely think that they're only playing some long con because they want to ruin my life . im so lonely but i legitimately cannot handle having friends because they can say ANYTHING and my mind will twist it to some insane act of pure hatred against me and then my hands are shaking and i cant focus on anything for the next few hours and i cant stop crying and cutting myself and im planning extensively how to tell them i cant be friends with them because i just cant take it anymore and oh nevermind suddenly im fine again . but at the same time if someones too nice all the time my fucking brain will start losing interest in them because apparently i NEED them to pull away from me and be a fucking asshole to me because im some sort of insane emotional masochist !!! i cant speak my mind with anyone even if they're obviously in the wrong and being mean to me when ive done nothing because i just know they're going to leave if i reciprocate with any sort of pushback so i just ghost them instead which makes the situation even more complicated or i have some sort of tantrum where i accuse them of the most schizotypal shit instead of actually discussing it like a normal person . its actually indescribable how embarassing it is to retain that " my parents didnt buy me candy so they hate me " mindset from when i was 8 years old all the way until 15 . and everything with me has to be some sort of extreme . i cant even like something normally i have to be obsessed with it to an emotionally deteriorating degree . i cant feel somewhat bad about something it had to feel like my world is ending and that ill never be happy again . why am i fucking feeling like this because of the sub count of a VTUBER . and then all of life is just a cycle of yearning for shit and feeling bad for myself " why cant i do this why cant i be better at this you can either be bad or a prodigy and im not a prodigy and i dont care if im 15 i need to be better than 28 year olds at this or else im a total fucking failure " and i fucking bet you if i would ever reach that prodigy status i would feel absolutely nothing about it and my brain would latch unto the next thing to feel bad about " ok well im not good at * that * i need to be good at * that * it doesnt matter if im good at * this * anyone can be good at * this * i need to be good as * that * as well " . it is legitimately either all or nothing with me and i cant stand either of those options . i hate feeling empty and i hate being obsessed with someone to the point of emotional spiraling 5 times a day but there can never be an inbetween option . im intensely angry about everything

and the most insanely retarded part about all of this , is that given the choice i wouldnt want to get better . this is all that i am . i am nothing without this disorder . if i dont have this disorder nobody will care about me or be gentle with me anymore . i will forever mentally be a child that only wants someone to take care of them and if i dont have this disorder there will be nothing to take care of . nobody will care . but heres the kicker ; nobody cares already . strangers are gentle with me because i have a sad look in my eyes but thats all there is . i just cant bring myself to actually talk about what i go through . all anyone sees is that im energetic and then suddenly sad within an single second interval or that i just stare ahead at shit like a zoo animal or that i cut myself sometimes . i cant even fully bring up and elaborate on extremely heavy topics that i go through on twitter or on this blog because it feels so wrong to imagine someone connecting something as dark as that with * me * . i want attention but i dont talk about shit . i dont want to talk about shit . i already utterly despise seeing the look people get in their faces when they somehow catch a glimpse at my sh scars or for gods sake fucking mentions it to me " dont do that to yourself " please dont worry about me and make me feel like a horrible burden when im trying my hardest to seem okay so i can be an enjoyable person to be around . having a person worried about someone as disgustingly rotted , parasitic and inhuman as me is the worst thing to inflect on someone , its like feeling bad for a dying cockroach . i mean just read the first part of this ramble to see how shitty of a person i am where i exaggerate my symptoms to make myself look like i suffer more than other people and put down anyone who dares to express their symptoms differently