#i knew i had seen that move before. then it hit like a flashback. i love easter eggs and callbacks in diff. medias of same franchise so much

[000marie198]

.....

Sonic Frontiers + Sonic IDW

[fanfictionalraven]

Unforgettable

Title: Unforgettable

Song Inspiration: Unforgettable by Thomas Rhett

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester

Word Count: 2,822

Warnings: N/A

Author's Note: This story was originally posted by myself under the account Winchestersgirl92. It was published January, 2018. Flashbacks in italics.

You knew it was stupid to be mad. You weren’t exactly in a “normal” relationship. Dean wasn’t the roses, chocolates, or candle-lit dinners type. And, to be fair, you’d never really considered yourself the type to want those things either. You knew it was stupid to be mad. But, dammit, you couldn’t help it.

One year ago today, you and Dean had met and the chemistry was instantaneous. It had been a great night, the best night of your life honestly. The next day, he brought you back to the bunker and you’d never left. You’d never really defined the relationship, it was a sort of unspoken but obvious dedication.

So maybe it was a little unfair to expect any form of “anniversary” celebration or gifts. But was some form of acknowledgment too much to ask of whatever it was you had? Probably.

You groan and lay your head on the library table. Sam, sitting directly across from you with a lore book, was oblivious to your internal argument. He looks up now.

“You okay, Y/N?” He asks. You shake your head, not moving it from the table. “What’s up?” You can hear the laughter in his voice.

“What are we?” You ask. There’s a moments silence before Sam speaks again.

“Well – we’re hunters,” he says. You sit up and narrow your eyes at him. “What?” He asks, laughing again.

“Me and Dean. What are we?” You ask again. His laughter stops and confusion spreads across his face. “Are we boyfriend and girlfriend? Are we friends with benefits?”

“Pretty sure you should be having this conversation with Dean,” he tells you, looking back at his book. You groan and lay your head down again. “Why is this suddenly bothering you?”

“Because I can’t decide if I have the right to be mad that he doesn’t remember we met a year ago today,” you admit. Sam starts to laugh again and you sit up quickly.

“He forgot your anniversary, huh?” He asks. You shush him quickly, looking over your shoulder. Dean had been in the garage most of the morning working on his car but he could come back at any moment. “Look, Y/N, I’ve never seen Dean like this with anyone. Ever. You mean more to him than I’m sure he’s said. But he isn’t used to the whole relationship thing. I’m sure he’ll come around though.”

“Hey, Sweetheart. Can you come down here?” You hear Dean call from the hall. You sigh as you stand and start down the corridor. Of course, you had been overreacting. You knew how much Dean cared for you, even if he never said it. And you didn’t need a day set aside for him to prove it more.

You stop short at the entrance to the garage and smile. Dean is leaning back against the hood of the Impala, his hands shoved down in the pockets of his jeans. He’s wearing your favorite of his flannel shirts, the one that makes his eyes pop a little more. It was the same one he’d been wearing the night you met.

You’d rolled into Lebanon, Kansas earlier that day, having found a case. It was an easy one. Open and shut. A vengeful spirit terrorizing a local family. You’d already worked out who it was and were just waiting for the cover of night to go salt and burn the body.

While you were waiting, you’d decided to hit a local bar. The one you picked looked like just the perfect mix of seedy and respectable. You’d been sitting at the bar for over an hour now, nursing your second bottle of beer, when someone slides onto the stool next to you. A blue and green checkered flannel hugs the muscles of the man’s forearms in all the right ways as he flags the barkeep for a beer. You shake your head quickly, having to remind yourself why you’re here in the first place.

You allow yourself one glance at him and immediately regret it. He’s looking back at you with piercing green eyes, already mentally undressing you. You look forward quickly and take a long drink of your beer before turning to face him. He angles his body towards you as well, smiling in the most irresistible way.

“Look,” you start, avoiding his eyes. “I’m only here for work. I’m really not looking for a drunken one night stand.” They weren’t the words you wanted to say. You wanted to tell him where you were staying for the night but you knew you had to stay focused on the job and if he went back to your motel room you’d never want to leave again. The man laughs and you look up at him now.

“Okay number one, I’m completely sober,” he says before taking a long drink from his bottle. You feel your face heat up when he runs his tongue over his lips. “And B, I’m not looking for a one night stand either.”

“No?” You ask, tearing your eyes away from his lips. He smirks slightly and shakes his head.

“I’d need at least a week with you,” he says. You can’t help the laugh the erupts from you. He smiles as he watches you. “What do you say?” He asks. Before you can answer, someone else is tapping on your shoulder. You turn to find another man.

Under normal circumstances, those circumstances being the man you were currently sitting next to not being there, he would have been a perfectly attractive man. However, your present company seemed to make every other man on the planet pale in comparison. The new suitor smiles at you, a smile that would no doubt be dazzling if you hadn’t already seen the other man’s.

“Care to dance?” He asks, nodding towards the empty space in the room where one couple was drunkenly swaying to some song in their head. You could give him a simple ‘no thank you’ but quickly decide that wouldn’t be any fun. Instead, you reach over next to you, placing your hand on the knee of the man beside you. You feel him twitch under your touch and fight not to smirk.

“Sorry. My boyfriend just got off work,” you tell him. Your ‘boyfriend’ waves at the other guy, a smirking playing at his lips. The man leaves you alone, quickly moving on to another girl in the room. A hand comes over yours and you look over at him.

“Can I at least know my girlfriend’s name?” He asks. You laugh and pull your hand out from under his.

“Y/N,” you tell him, picking your bottle back up. You feel his eyes on you as you take a drink. “Y/N Y/L/N. And you are?”

“Dean Winchester,” he says quickly.

“Babe?” Dean’s voice draws you from the memory. He’s standing in front of you now, a piece of cloth in his hands. You look at it then at him, raising an eyebrow.

“If this is a kinky thing, I’m not in the mood,” you tell him. He rolls his eyes.

“Will you trust me?” He asks. You smile a little and nod. He moves to stand behind you and carefully slips the cloth over your eyes. You sigh as he ties it in place. “Can you see anything?” He asks. You hear him moving back around you and can imagine he’s waving a hand in front of your face.

“Nothing. Dean, what’s this about?” You ask him. He chuckles and takes your hands in his, pulling on you. You take a couple of clumsy steps and hear the door of the Impala opening.

“It’s a surprise,” he says, guiding you carefully into the front seat of the car.

“You’re acting weird,” you tell him. You know he rolls his eyes again before closing the door. A moment later, the door on your other side opens and you feel Dean slide into the seat next to you. His hand comes to rest on your knee, the way it always does when you’re in the car together, before the car starts to move. His thumb rubs against your knee as he drives quietly.

“The Dean Winchester?” You ask, staring at the man next to you. He sits back slightly and nods. You’d heard plenty of stories about the Winchesters and all of their exploits. “I heard you were dead. Like – three different times.”

“Didn’t take. You’re a hunter?” He asks. You nod and look back at the bottle in your hands.

“Are you here for the case?” You ask. He sits back, shaking his head.

“No, actually we live just up the road,” he tells you. You look at him quickly.

“You live somewhere? Like…permanently?” You ask. He laughs lightly and nods, leaning forward onto the bar.

“Yea. Sammy and I have a place. It’s, ugh, an old bunker for a secret society that died out in the 50’s. It’s pretty awesome,” he says. You nod, mulling this over for a moment. “So what’s the case?” He asks, looking back at you now. You shrug and glance at the window.

“Vengeful spirit. Wanna go on a salt and burn with me?” You ask, smiling at him. You knew you could definitely use the muscle. It would take you all night to dig the grave up on your own. But with Dean’s help you could be done in a few hours and maybe even have time for a little something else. Dean smiles as he watches you, as though reading your mind and nods.

“My car’s parked out front,” he says. You smile widely and quickly finish off your beer. Dean tosses some cash onto the bar before rising to his feet and holding a hand out for you. You take his hand, your fingers interlocking, as he pulls you from the bar.

You feel the car come to a stop and cut off. The driver door opens then closes and a moment later your door opens. Dean’s hand takes yours and he carefully helps you from the car. You can smell the dirt and feel the soft earth under your feet.

“Dean, where are we??” You ask, sighing. He stops you by placing his hands on your shoulders from behind. He reaches up and pulls the blindfold off. You blink against the late evening sunlight and look around. It was a sight you knew well but you were very confused as to why you were here. “A cemetery? Are we working a case?” You ask, looking back at Dean. He rolls his eyes.

“Not just any cemetery,” he says, turning you to face the graves again. You sigh as you look around before breaking into a wide smile as it hits you.

“Our first date,” you say as his arms snake around your waist.

You’re sitting on the edge of the hole you and Dean had been working on for some time now. He’s shed a couple of layers, his jacket and flannel shirt, leaving himself only in the tight black t-shirt that clung to him with sweat. You bite your lip as you watch him move another shovel full of dirt out of the hole.

“Ya know, as much as I love that you’re checking me out right now, we could be done if you’d help,” he says suddenly, looking over at you. You blink then smile coyly and shrug.

“Well, you’ve been trying to show off this whole time I thought I’d finally let you,” you tell him. He stops and turns to face you, resting his arm on the standing shovel.

“It is working?” He asks with a smirk. You shake your head as you look him over. Pushing off the ground, you slide down into the grave and walk over to him.

“I mean, if I had a thing for the sexy, bad-boy hunter with a heart of gold, maybe,” you say. He throws his head back laughing and you suddenly realize you could spend the rest of your life watching him laugh. You quickly shake away those thoughts as you reach for the shovel. You dig into the dirt and hit something hard instantly. Looking back at Dean, you smirk, “Finished.” His eyes narrow and you can’t help the giggle that escapes you as you kneel down and wipe the dirt from the top of the coffin. With Dean’s help, you pry open the top half of the casket.

“Well, there she is,” he says, pointing to the old bones.

Dean climbs out of the hole then offers you a hand. You take his hand and allow him to pull you out as well. Your pour the salt over the remains as Dean dumps the gasoline in. You pull the box of matches from your back jean pocket and strike one on the side of the box before dropping the lit match into the open coffin.

“So,” Dean starts as the flames engulf the body. You look over at him. “You think I’m sexy.” You roll your eyes and grab two fistfuls of his shirt, pulling him into a deep kiss quickly. His hands find your waist instantly as his lips move against yours. You pull away from his lips abruptly and take one of his hands in yours, pulling him away from the burning grave and back to the Impala parked a few yards away. “Are we leaving?” Dean asks, a hint of disappointment in his voice. You laugh lightly and open the back door before sliding in.

“You coming?” You ask, looking out at him when he doesn’t follow. He stares down at you in disbelief before shaking his head and getting in quickly, closing the door behind him. You move into his lap, straddling his waist as your arms wrap around his neck.

“Ya know, I’ve got a bed back at the bunker,” he says, his fingers grazing the skin at the edge of your shirt. You smile and lean in, kissing his lips briefly.

“We’ll get there eventually,” you tell him. He smirks slightly.

“Oh?” He asks. You laugh lightly and nod, running your fingers against the back of his neck.

“Well, yea. You said you’d need at least a week with me, right?” You ask. He blinks and his smirk turns into a wide smile.

“I did say that,” he says, nodding. You smile and lean back in to him, pausing just before meeting his lips again. He chuckles and shakes his head. “I think I’m gonna marry you someday, Sweetheart.” You let out a laugh before kissing him.

Dean’s lips graze against your cheek gently and you smile, running your hands over his arms. He squeezes your waist slightly before turning you around to face him. You bite your lip and look down.

“I didn’t think you remembered,” you confess. He smiles before his lips find your forehead and you look back up at him.

“I remember everything about that night. I remember what you were wearing, what you were drinking. I remember the entire conversation on the way to the cemetery. I remember that first kiss and then you taking charge like you did. I remember taking you back to the bunker and staying up all night just talking. And the next morning, we made breakfast together and you met Sammy,” he says, his eyes soft as he watches you. You swallow hard, suddenly on the brink of tears. “And you stayed for a week.”

“And that week turned into two which turned into a month,” you say, laughing lightly. Dean smiles and his lips graze down the bridge of your nose.

“And a year later, here we are,” he says, his voice soft. You smile and close your eyes, standing there in his arms. His lips brush against your cheek before coming to rest next to your ear. “I love you,” he whispers. Your smile somehow manages to grow even wider as you lean away from him slightly. He’s watching you again, afraid he’s stepped too far. You stand up and press your lips against his in a soft, tender kiss. You feel him smile against your lips before you pull away.

“I love you too,” you tell him. He lets out a breath and you laugh lightly. “Did you think otherwise?” He shrugs his shoulders.

“You’re too good for me. It would make more sense if you didn’t,” he says. You roll your eyes at him before running your fingers into his hair.

“I moved in with you pretty much after one night together. I’m not going anywhere,” you assure him. He smiles and nods slightly.

“Well that’s good, cause I meant what I said a year ago,” he tells you. You raise an eyebrow at him. “I’m gonna marry you someday.” You laugh again before pressing your lips against his, hoping it wouldn’t take him a year to get around to that too.

[mehidktbh]

Worries And Kisses

Pairing: Alejandro Vargas x Fem!Reader

Summary: Alejandro comes home to you after a long mission only to be ambushed with your worries and kisses.

Warning: War, minor injuries, kissing, crying, established relationship, suggestive kinda stuff..., Alejandro is a bit horny ngl, a bit of angst but not really? Its mostly all good

A/N: I cannot believe how underrated Alejandro is... like on God I know that man is packing under those jeans and I'm willing to take it all 😩 (Italic font is flashback/memory)

(Sorry if I got any Spanish translations wrong, I'm not fluent in the language and I don't speak it so please lmk if google translate did me wrong)

You lost count of when the last time you've seen your husband, his absence was strong around you. Without his touch or sexy voice the house fell into a deafening silence with no one to fulfil that space, no pet or child only your mind to cope while he was gone. The last time you spoke to him was three weeks ago, his voice still repeating in your head as you try to fulfil your time day to day with chores. Cooking was too hard, sometimes you imagine his hands around your waist and his husky voice tickling your neck only it was your hands hugging yourself into your crying state.

Alejandro was the only one who could make you feel the way you do, waking up beside him was a blessing, his protective hold on you was warm and comforting. His morning voice was croaky and dark, mumbling sweet nothings while he pressed a bunch of kisses into your bare neck as you tried to plead against him. But now your mornings were spent struggling to wake up, taking in the empty space beside you as you tried to take up as much space as possible. Filling up with that your husband used to lay.

Not even showering felt normal, and instead, you only stand in one place while you slowly wash your hair missing your time in the shower with your husband.

"Stop Alejandro" You laughed, trying to use his full name to sound angry but he couldn't take you seriously as he had just sprayed a bunch of soap all over your body. Bubbles sticking and sliding down your thighs and stomach as he couldn't help but silently laugh. "lo siento mi amor" He said breathlessly but you just gave him a blank stare, stepping back before he trapped you between the shower walls. The crystal-clear water drops hit his muscular back as they rolled down, he had a shit-eating grin on his face as he began to kiss your shoulder blades. Innocently and slowly going lower as you tried to push him away, his strong embrace was too hard and you suddenly felt his lips wrap around your nipple.

♡ ♡ ♡

You had just got changed into some working clothes as you were hopefully going to have the chance to go out and about, your shared room was already clean and the rest of the house was too. A chemical smell lightened the air, lingering above the candles that you lit previously. You were about to step out of your bedroom door when you heard a loud sound, an echoing slam from down the hall, which instantly alerted you. Normally Alejandro would warn you from time and time again about feeling worried that someone would find you eventually through him but you never thought out of all days it would be this one.

Your eyes were now only poking through the little gap of the semi-closed door, your heart thumping out of your chest loud enough to alert the stranger. Your hot breath came out unsteadily and scared, your hands balled into a fist as if you thought you could protect yourself only knowing some of Alejandro's tactics.

The sound of thick boots got louder, thumping up the hallway until you realised that they were just down a few doors, they stopped at some doors to push them open and moved on once they saw no one was inside. The footsteps marched closer, getting quicker as if they knew you were in this room, you began to panic harder like the air was sucked out of your lungs as you looked around the room. The clean smooth bed had the sheets tucked in and you didn't want to run into the closet because there was too much stuff in there for you to fit. And just when you were about to run into the bathroom connected to the room the door was slammed open, the door nearly hitting the wall with a thud if it wasn't stopped by the stopper.

A heavier, taller man stood by the threshold, his arms by his side as you squinted hard trying to identify him through the golden crisp sun, the window was open and you could barely see. Only when he softly called for you through his tired tone did you break down, tears swirled in the corner of your eyes as you gave in.

♡ ♡ ♡

The day was filled with crying and worries, your shaky voice checked over Alejandro as he tried to calm you down, shushing you and repeatedly telling you he was fine. His gruff and silent voice soothed you through your tears but still, he couldn't stop your sniffing and worry ness. The way you lightly planted kisses on his forehead and nose, your soft plump lips pressed what could only be described as heaven as he melted in your hold.

He didn't say a lot besides reassuring you that he wasn't hurt or that he only had little scratches, and instead, he let you talk. Hearing you when you described how much you missed him and how you thought he was dead only made him sink into sympathy.

His fingers held you close, dancing along your damp skin, feeling the goosebumps run up and down your silky skin, the little waterdrops collected in his hand but not as much as his shirt which was soaked in your tears. The wetness sank through the material and marked it a darker colour. Your head was buried just below his neck as your arms were wrapped tight around his back, squeezing him tighter every time you sniffed or were on the verge of crying all over again.

But while this was all sad to Alejandro, seeing you in tears and at his chest pledging he wouldn't leave again he could only promise you he won't. Even though he knows he'll be hearing from the military in some weeks and soon enough this will come again he can only cheer you up from your distressed state. "No hay necesidad de llorar, amor." He spoke softly, "I'm here for you." His reassuring was nice to hear after not looking into his eyes since he came through the door and once your red puffy eyes met his. He smiled, flashing you a gigantic charming smile, laughing a bit when you returned it.

♡ ♡ ♡

You could only remember the sun going down, a yellow-orange blend came down to light up the house, the windows were closed but you could feel the cool breeze brush up against you. Or maybe it was the breath of Alejandro who was right behind you, his veiny arms resting upon your hips where they rub circles.

"Why don't you sit down, be done soon" You soothed over your husband, wiggling your hips a bit so he got the signal but instead he gripped tighter. His head coming down to lean on your shoulder blade as his crouch rubs up against your butt, he seemed to sigh dramatically before talking. "Por qué debería, querido" He smirked, teasing you only to see you roll your eyes, a silent laugh reputing from your chest.

"You'll miss dinner." A fake pout couldn't get through Alejandro as he gripped you tighter, whispering close to your ear. "¿Por qué no te como para la cena?"

[akystaracer22]

Here in the Garden, Let’s Play a Game

Synopsis: A nightmare about paradise, and an attempt to create something new, even the coldest hearts can warm with a careful touch.

Notes

:)

Can you tell I like Adam’s character?

TW: Mild Mind Control, Thought Suppression, and Altered Thoughts in the flashback scene, descriptions of panic attacks, vomit, mild descriptions of gore, unreliable narrator.

As for the latter half: This is what Lucifer meant in Distrust Fall when he said he thought he knew where to start.

Hurt/Comfort

Word count: 3304

Fic under cut!

Adam blinked and pulled his hand away from where it rested against the hide of a boar, where the fuck was he?

Last thing he remembered he was exhausted after another shitty fucking day in hell and went back to his room to sleep, and suddenly he’s in some sort of glade.

Huffing, he gently patted the boar’s side and nudged it up, “C’mon, up you get, I gotta figure this shit out.”

The boar acquiesced easily, trotting away into the foliage as Adam took a look around the scenery to try and figure out where he was.

Long lush green grass that flowed in the breeze in such a way it looked pristine, long natural flower beds carving up the glade in perfect patterns. The trees were a mix of evergreens and impossibilities. Trees he’d never seen together before all coexisting in magnificent harmony.

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think he was…

Adam face blanched at the sudden wind that hit his body, his bare body.

Where were his clothes?

“No no no nononono!” Adam gasped and glanced around in a panic; he wasn’t wearing anything. That wasn’t good- shit he needed his clothes!

He flared his wings out to try and use them to give himself some coverage only to be painfully aware of another fact when nothing happened.

He couldn’t feel them.

He couldn’t feel his wings.

Adam twisted around and stared at his bare back in terror, he was missing his wings, wings he’d had for millennia at that point, wings he’d kept even as he plummeted to hell, ruined as they were they were still his they couldn’t just be gone-!

A loud whimper slipped off his tongue before he could bite it back. He cursed, hating the show of weakness only marginally less than he hated being so exposed.

Adam moved forward on unsteady legs, nearly tripping from the sudden lack of weight on his back from his wings. Already he hated the place, it’s perfection reminded him too closely to the garden, just as much as his exposure and lack of wing’s and-

Chink

Adam’s blood turned to ice in his veins at the sound. Glancing down at his right wrist, he found the source.

A small, innocuous golden cuff attached to a similarly gold chain, glowing softly from where it laid against his skin. The chain lead upwards, disappearing into nothingness.

The first man’s breathing quickened as he stumbled forward, instinctively trying to run in the opposite direction of the chain. Shit he was right why the fuck did he have to be right?!

He was in Eden; he was in fucking Eden.

“Adam!”

The first man turned around swiftly at the sound of his wife’s voice, smiling brightly as the angel he was reporting to took their leave, “Eve! My dear you look beautiful as always.”

His wife stopped in front of him, and Adam’s brow twitched, she looked…

Free.

Troubled. Her eyebrows were pressed together, and her shoulders were tense. Her hair looked unusually messy, and her eyes kept darting around as if looking for something.

She doesn’t want Them to see this.

“My dearest, what troubles you?” Adam reached out a hand to her before pulling back abruptly as he noticed something else, Her eyes had darkened to a deep, almost black red. Her chain connecting her to the Lord was absent, “Beloved, where is your shackle?”

“Adam we need to talk,” Is all Eve said instead, moving forward to grab him by the arm and drag him into the foliage surrounding the clearing.

“My dear we must inform our Creator immediately,” Gods first human exclaimed, his chest growing tight the longer he was aware of his partner’s bare wrist, “We are never to be without the shackles that keep us safe this is-”

“Just! Listen to me first,” Eve’s tone shifted abruptly silencing Adam, “I- I know how this looks but I need you to trust me for a second, please.”

“Of course, I trust you dear, but-”

Adam didn’t get to finish as Eve caught his mouth with her own. Kissing him deeply much to the man’s surprise. He didn’t have time to react when something passed between Eve’s mouth and his own and he instinctively swallowed whatever it was.

He heard the shackle shatter a second before his mind caught up to it, sending him reeling at the slew of information that struck him all at once.

Memories that he was forced to forget surged into his awareness-

- A passionate kiss with Lilith under the sun-

- A shared meal with an angel- with Lucifer-

- Him, screaming in agony as God cleaved open his chest and reached inside of him-

-A failed attempt to flee while he was still recovering, still reeling from the betrayal and terror as burning bright magic lashed out and dragged him back-

Adam stumbled back away from his second wife – his second wife how in Eden did he ever forget about Lilith – as the reality of the situation finally caught up to him.

They needed to hide. Now.

“Shit I need to get the fucking apple!” Adam yelled, breaking into a sprint even as he stumbled and had to catch himself on the trees as he ran. Animals didn’t even startle as he ran past because fear was an emotion you weren’t supposed to feel, not in Eden.

How the ever-loving fuck Adam was even able to process this was beyond him, but he wasn’t about to try his luck. All it would take is one moment of Gods attention and he’d be unmade and-

Adam bit the inside of his cheek to nip that train of thought in the bud. He wasn’t going to unpack that right now.

He needed to get to the damn tree.

The first man stumbled into a large clearing, immediately hating the exposure before catching golden leaves in the near distance, turning his head he was greeted with his salvation.

A tree with apples pure and divine. It’s trunk a darker colour than normal and it’s leaves a mix of brilliant gold and blinding white.

Adam raced across the clearing; all sense of caution thrown to the wind because he needed to get to those apples-!

A heavy weight slammed into him, knocking him to the ground before something pierced his leg.

Adam cried out in pain before he could stop himself, craning his neck to try and get a look at his assailant only to go wide eyed at the angel pinning him down.

Or, more precisely, the exorcist. Lute.

She was giving him the same hard glare she only really used for sinners or for Vaggie, the one that screamed hatred with every fibre of her being. The thing in his leg was her spear.

“I don’t know how you scum managed to sneak into the garden,” She snapped at him, vitriol poisoning her tongue, “But you’re not getting to that tree.”

“Shit- Lute it’s me!” Adam yelled, trying not to move his injured leg around the spear even as crimson blood – why the fuck was it crimson?! – soaked the ground, “It’s me Adam!”

Lute studied him and for a moment seemed to hesitate, sparking a glimmer of hope in Adam before it was snuffed out with her scowl returning, “No. You’re not. But you need to be fixed.”

Her halo glowed for a gut-wrenching second, before light seemed to travel down the divine chain towards the shackle.

“No nonono shit stop fuck!” Adam shrieked, abandoning sense and uncaring at how his flesh and muscle tore as he tried to shove Lute off, her spear mutilating his leg further, “Lute don’t let Him fucking do this please!”

The light got closer and still Lute did nothing, Adam could only watch the light seep into the cuff and see it glow lightly before-

Adam screamed as he jerked awake, immediately feeling something in his stomach shift and bile surge up his throat.

He stumbled until he hit a door and threw it open, whatever was in his stomach coming back up as he vomited over the railing of his balcony.

He could feel a weight on his back, and he almost cried as he realised it was his wings, instinctively curling them around himself as he sat there against the rails. He shuddered for a moment, shivering despite the heat.

His leg ached despite the fact that it was a nightmare.

It was a nightmare.

Fuck he thought he was about to-

A hiccupping sob slipped out of him, followed by another as he fell apart.

He thought he was going to die in the worst way imaginable. Worse than when the maid stabbed him, or when he fell or even when he died all those millennia ago he thought he was going to be erased.

Shit he thought he was going to be erased and one of his girls was going to watch it happen.

He would rather fall a thousand times over or be stabbed by a thousand angelic weapons then be erased again.

The fallen angel kept sobbing for a few more seconds before forcing his emotions back down again, he wasn’t about to be caught weak like that. Not here. Once before at the fucking graveyard was enough. He was Adam he was gods first man he was- he was the fucking Adam! He needed to get his fucking shit together because someone noticed. Before someone thought to look deeper and see how much of a rotten shit show he was inside.

He didn’t need anyone to see him this pathetic. Not again, not after last time.

.

.

.

“Adam?”

The first man’s eyes widened, and his head snapped over to the balcony next to his. Shit!

“Luci-fer ah hah why the fuck are you awake?!” Adam scrambled to his feet, wings flaring out to balance him even as he gripped the rail.

The king of hell was wearing what was probably casual wear for him, just a dress shirt, his usual pants and shoes combo, and a vest. His brow was furrowed as he took in Adams sorry state.

“I was working on something- are you okay?” Lucifer spread his wings, crossing the gap between their balconies with an ease that made Adam jealous. Lucifer had fallen just like he did and yet he was the one who still kept his wings, who didn’t have to deal with dead weight and could still fucking fly.

It wasn’t fucking fair.

“Go fuck yourself Lucifer, I’m not in the damn mood,” Adam muttered, stalking back inside and going to shut the door on the devil.

“No, no you’re not running from this not after-”

“After fucking nothing,” The first man growled, turning back to scowl at the king of hell who’d put a foot in the doorway to keep Adam from closing it.

“Adam,” Lucifer sounded tired, which pissed Adam off even more, “I’m not letting this one go. Not after what I just saw. You’re talking about this.”

“I’m sorry, why the fuck do you even care?”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, why the fuck do you even care?” Adam snarled, mantling his wings on instinct, “First you fucking clean my wings for me, you keep on watching my back for some fucking reason. Then, you go out of your way to catch me when I fall, why? What the fuck is your angle here why the fuck do you care?”

“Can’t I care?”

“You didn’t care in Eden when you abandoned me,” Adam snapped before freezing.

“Oh,” Lucifer blinked a few times before folding his wings and making them disappear, “So that’s it, isn’t it. You had a nightmare about Eden.”

“Why the fuck would I have a nightmare about paradise?” Adam sneered past the twisting feeling in his gut, “Eden was perfect, the only thing I’d have a nightmare about would be the desolate land I was kicked out into.”

“Except Eden wasn’t perfect,” Lucifer pressed, eyes narrowing at the bluff, “It sure didn’t seem perfect when He-”

“Don’t!”

“…”

“…”

They both stood there, the silence staining the air with Adams stupid, foolish, weakness.

“Come on get dressed, we’re going out,” Lucifer huffed, his wings returning to block the balcony like that was an actual escape route.

… shit he was planning on doing that.

“Fine, piece of shit good for nothing-!” Adam grumbled as he threw open the closet and grabbed his shirt, throwing off his night garb with his mind only quietly screaming at him to put something on because he wasn’t wearing anything. It shouldn’t matter anyway; Lucifer had already seen him plenty of times in the past naked.

Still, he couldn’t have gotten his pants on fast enough.

He shrugged on his coat and put on his shoes before Lucifer abruptly grabbed him and dragged him close.

Before Adam even had a chance to curse at him or break out of the grip a shower of bright gold sparks crackled through the air and a warm wind hit his face. He jerked, stumbling out of the kings hold and striking out with a wing even though he knew Lucifer would dodge.

“Would you not?!”

“Sorry! Sorry,” Lucifer grinned, clearly anything but sorry, “But it was the quickest way to get here!”

“And where exactly is here? Because this just seems like a whole lot of nothing.”

Nothing but rock stretched out in all directions, they looked to be at the bottom of a cliff and if Adam looked up… was that the hotel?

“Are we seriously in the fucking nowhere around the hotel?!”

“Here me out first!” Lucifer spread his wings instinctively, “Just- I have a pitch for you!”

“Get on with it,” Adam bit out, he highly doubted anything Lucifer could say right now would even be remotely-

“A garden.”

The first mans thoughts cut off, before his brain kicked back in and he just stared at lucifer, “…what?”

“A garden,” Lucifer smiled widely, showing teeth without a threat, “You can use this space to grow a garden.”

“Why the fuck would I grow a garden.”

“You loved it in Eden didn’t you?” Lucifer’s smile shrunk a little into something pitying, It made Adam’s gut churn, “I remember how you used to spend hours talking about just caring for the garden. You were chattering on about concepts your mind couldn’t even comprehend yet as you tended the garden.”

“The soil is inhospitable, nothing will grow.”

“They said that about the land outside of Eden as well, and yet look what you managed.”

“You can’t seriously expect me to have the amount of time required to even begin managing the soil let alone the plant life.”

“I’m sure Charlie can be convinced to give you all the time you need in the day!”

“I can’t get down here.”

Lucifer rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers at the nearest cliff face, leaving Adam to watch as a set of stairs manifested, coiling through the rock and leading up towards the back of the hotel where his girls were laid to rest.

“I’m not exactly in shape asshole.”

“Well, you’ll be getting in shape as you work on this so that shouldn’t be an issue soon.”

“I-”

“You know you can just say you don’t want to do it right?” Lucifer shut the first man up easily with a look, “This isn’t a mandatory thing, you can just say no and go on your merry way.”

Adam knew that. He didn’t owe Lucifer shit and he didn’t have to do this. He could just walk; the stairs were literally right there now. He could just leave.

His feet stayed rooted to the ground where he stood.

“Well?”

Fuck.

“Just give me a fucking hoe already,” Adam sighed, holding out his hand and glaring at Lucifer.

The devil in question looked absolutely delighted, grinning widely and summoning-

“The tool, don’t give me a fucking mirror. You’re not funny.”

“Sorry! Sorry, I couldn’t resist the joke,” In a flash the small handheld mirror was replaced with a steel hoe the first man hefted in both hands. He tested its weight before nodding, it’d do.

“I need grass, pomegranate, apricot, strawberry, pear, some flowers- preferably the kinds that won’t fuck up the dirt any more than it already is. And fuck it- you can throw in some hell species as well let’s see how those fuckers play ball. I’ll need a broad fork to start breaking up the soil too.”

Adam had no fucking idea how he was going to make sure the seeds got enough sunlight to grow but fuck he didn’t have many other hobbies aside from trying it.

He stabbed the hoe into the ground and grabbed the broad fork from the air as it formed, mapping out in his mind what land he’s going to have to prep now and where he can just leave it to later. Maybe he can use the shade of some of the outcroppings to his advantage and Lucifer could create water sources, maybe even an underground river to connect them so there is some proper hydration without risk of contamination…

“You know, those seeds are going to take a long time normally to grow,” Adam looked at the other fallen angel as he talked, “Not to mention how long fixing the land will take, you could be doing this for decades.”

“Are you trying to discourage me from this after I just decided to do it?”

“Not at all! I just… have a suggestion.”

“Go on.”

“I can play with the time down here, make the land grow faster and nurture itself quicker. You won’t age unnaturally despite being dead and return to dust of course!” Luci laughed nervously, “But I’ve worked with the spell for long enough so I’m sure it’s safe.”

“… How sure.”

“I’ve tested it with myself.”

“Luci what the fuck.”

“We both know you would refuse immediately If I didn’t do it,” Luci laughed, crouching down, and placing a hand against the barren earth, “You’d rather die than have anything hurt your plants.”

“They’re living creations in their own right,” Adam snorted, “I’m just keeping them safe.”

“And yet at the end of the day you still eat them same as animals.”

“Hey, I wouldn’t eat anything that also wouldn’t eat me at the end of the day.”

“Pigs.”

“They’ve killed and eaten almost five hundred humans in the past two hundred years.”

“Chicken.”

“Have you met them?”

“Plants?”

“They devour any form of meat buried in the soil near them. Look it up, people have buried pieces of meat near plants needing protein and they devour them.”

“Oh, what the fuck.”

“I used to do it too back on earth, buried any meaty remains in the earth to help foster life once I figured that out.”

“Okay!” Luci’s hands glowed brightly, forcing his own magic into the ground in what Adam could only guess was his attempt at changing the topic.

Adam couldn’t see the change as much as he could feel it. The earth under his feet shifting ever so slightly in accommodation to the fallen angels magic.

Lucifer stood up as the glow faded away, dusting himself off, “Well, as fun as this talk was, I’m headed back up to the hotel. Char Char’s gonna be awake soon and I’m hungry.”

The first man snorted at his old friends bluntness, waving the angel of the morning star off as he disappeared into a shower of magic.

Adam turned back towards the barren wasteland, shaking out his wings and stabbing the broad fork into the ground. If he was going to make the best fucking garden hell had ever seen, he had a lot of work ahead of him.

Notes at the end:

In Eden, the only thing adorning both Adam and Eve was these little golden chains that God used to keep them from acting up like Lilith did, when Eve was created the chains appeared on both of their wrists. When Eve bit the apple, it broke her chains. Then, Eve sought out Adam and got him to eat the fruit and well you know the rest. God doesn’t pay attention to Eve because she was made from Adam so she should be perfectly subservient to Adam’s whims (misogyny amirite?) and thus Eve could sneak away and bite the apple.

Saw this from another fic but Adam was awake when the rib was torn from him because I live for that. The cuff stops him from remembering it.

The chains essentially prohibit the bad thoughts™ so as to keep Adam and Eve from straying like Lilith did. Basically, God is actively prohibiting them from having any true free will.

Lucifer explicitly told Eve to get the apple to Adam because he was mildly crushed by the thought of his old friend having gotten his will stripped from him because Lilith didn’t want to be with him anymore. He’s also hurt by the fact that God felt it fit to strip Adam of any notion of friendship, breaking the bond Lucifer so carefully forged with the first man. Lucifer despises that his friend went from treating him like an equal to treating him like Lucifer was leagues more superior to Adam. All that progress reset without any hope of repairing it.

Adams treatment of Lilith and later Eve was a learned behaviour, mainly because he was just following God’s direction.

The chains aren’t the only symbol of Gods control, Adam and Eve’s eye colours were changed from Brown and Mahogony to Gold, and they glowed softly with divine light.

It also caused the two of them to act more like angels than, well, themselves. This is something Adam grew back into the more time he spent in heaven, gaining the habits of the angels he spent more time around than other winners. It’s something that if he was made aware of, he’d despise.

God I love calling the cuff a shackle, because Adam knows the word and what it means but he can’t comprehend the implications because God won’t let him.

Adam had a lot of propaganda given to him when he reached heaven, mostly that Lucifer tricked Eve maliciously to get at Adam and that Adam was in the wrong for trusting his wife for even a second and all that lovely stuff.

Adams exorcist attire and casual gear all has armour that protected his chest, because he is conscious of the fact that he is missing a rib.

In which author uses way too many hyphens for it to be healthy.

Also, you know how mental health was in the past? Yeah? Good because Adam sure fucking knows :)

Toxic masculinity sure is a bitch isn’t it Adam?

Adam’s an unreliable narrator in the second half.

I’ve done so much gardening research for this holy shit.

My problem is that I can’t write dumb characters without giving them some niche that they’re a genius in. For Adam it’s gardening and animal handling. This guy kept up to date throughout the years no matter what. It’s his guilty pleasure. He even was the man behind many parks and gardens in heaven.

I’m losing the try to get Adam to keep holding his grudge against Lucifer for a little while longer battle.

[to-the-stars8]

Reviving Love

Jason Todd x Reader Summary: Jason wants to forget that the two of you ever happened, to leave the past in the past. Yet, when he runs into you again he can't help wanting to revive what he thought was lost.

Chapter 1

All Dick had to do was keep his mouth shut about Jason’s life from before he died, but that would be too much to ask for obviously. Sometimes Jay wondered if his older brother saw bringing up his past as a sport, to see just how far he could push him until there was a crack in the façade. Jason knew Dick well enough to know that he was probably just making up for shit he didn’t do when they were younger. But, he didn’t have to bring you up. 

The question was innocent enough. In a moment of downtime where they had been doing their own shit on opposite sides of Dick’s apartment, the sudden question was tossed into the air like it was an afterthought. “Jay, whatever happened to that girl you dated in high school?”

It threw Jason for a loop, making him question multiple things at once. He suddenly wondered if Dick could read his mind, and what exactly you had been doing. The only response he could muster was, “Probably living her life, Dick. I don’t give a fuck.” 

Dick seemed put out by the idea of Jason not caring about you, saying that it had been the first time he’d ever seen him so happy. He didn’t bother to respond, because the more Jason added to the conversation, the more Dick would continue it. All he wanted to do was clean his gun in peace. Unfortunately, the mere mention of you had him suddenly distracted. Flashbacks of memories came to him abruptly. The thought of his younger self so stupidly smitten sat there in the forefront of his mind with rosy cheeks and a toothy grin that was the result of something you had told him. 

Dick pulled out his phone, announcing that he was going to search for you on Instagram. Jason shook his head, telling him to just leave you alone—To leave you in the past where you belonged. 

“I’m sorry, Jay, but you’ve been single too long and, as your older brother, it’s my job to be your…Aha!” Dick got up from his spot and crossed the room to him in a few proud strides. When Dick threw himself down next to Jason, despite the warning to be careful since guns were out, he shoved his phone toward him. “Look, found her.”

“That’s great,” Jason said, scooting away. Dick was already getting more on his nerves, and being too close was setting him more on edge. He wouldn’t admit aloud that you were just as beautiful as the last time he saw you, and chalked up that compliment to being in the limelight of his memory. 

Groaning, Dick pulled his phone away to scroll down on your profile. “She’s pretty. You should hit her up.”

Jason snorted, “And say what? Hey, I know you think I’m dead and all, but I was wondering, wanna go on a date? No, Dick. Leave it alone, I’m not interested. She’s probably moved on anyway.” 

“You say that…” 

Jason stood suddenly, grabbing his guns off the table in one fell swoop to put them into a duffel bag before grabbing the rest of his things. When Dick tried to dissuade him from leaving, he was majorly rejected. Jason told him again that he didn’t want his love life to come up, there wasn’t time for one, and, above all else, he didn’t want his fucking past brought up, either. 

“You can’t continue being bitter, Jay,” Dick said as got up to follow him out. “You gotta move on.”

Now, that irked Jason more than anything else, and promptly told his older brother that he could fuck off. He was fine and had been for the past six years. Most importantly, Jason assured himself, and Dick, that he didn’t want to know you again. 

Unknowingly—and unfortunately for him— Dick had sparked a struggle that had Jason pacing around his apartment throughout the rest of the day. He wanted to know that if you saw him again would there be any recognition or was he just a faceless someone you talked about in stories of the past? It was a topic that he shouldn’t have been thinking about, but it was curiosity that drove him to look you up. 

He hated that when he saw your photo on the screen that his heart fluttered.

[nanivinsmoke]

The Breakup.

Sanji x blackFem!reader

needed another angst on here. also sanji and yonji’s personalities are different from the og story.

summary : when love has its limits, a relationship is shattered.

warnings: smoking, semi-violence, cheating.

note: italics is a flashback

The look in his eyes could kill. She had never seen his blue eyes look so dark. That happiness that once radiated through him was no longer there. Not after what she had told him.

The rain poured and danced on the windows, dancing to the beat of thunder, setting the mood for tonight. “Sanji! If you’d just let me explain!” She pleaded, reaching out to grab his arm, but he quickly moved away. Her face was painted with the mascara from her eyes, evident that she was crying.

“I don’t wanna fucking hear your piss poor excuse, Y/N! You fucking cheated on me!” His words cut through her like the sharpest knives that he owned, he meant every word. “Please! Just let me explain!” she pleaded once more, finally getting him to look at her. His face held pure disgust, this is the first time he ever looked at her like that, let alone a woman.

“Yes! Please tell me how you ended up fucking my brother!” The cat was out the bag, he had finally said it and she cringed at it. “Okay…I’ll tell you. Just don’t yell anymore,” she pleaded, her irises softening even though it still held tears in them. Sighing, she turned away not able to face him as she recounted that day, the day that changed her life.

“It was the day that me and you had got into that big argument and you left the house….”

She sat on the plush blue love seat, staring at the door hoping that he would come in, hoping to get an understanding on everything. She didn’t understand how one point she went from loving him, to hating him at the same time. She didn’t understand his feelings and neither did he with her’s and she wanted the opportunity to understand them, without another argument. The couple would usually have pointless disagreements and would get over them before the day would end, but this time it was different.

Hours before, Sanji had crept in their townhouse in the wee hours of the morning, hungover after drinking until he couldn’t know more. He had thought his girlfriend was asleep which would have given him the leverage to sneak in their bed with her, but when the lights flicked on and he saw her sitting on the loveseat; with a cigarette in hand. He knew he was in for it tonight. It was habit she had picked up from him whenever she was stressed out or pissed; and knowing her she was both.

“Why have you been coming in here so late, Sanji?” Y/N questioned, eyeing him as he kicked off his shoes and threw his jacket over the other sofa, ignoring her. “You don’t think i know who’ve you been with? Tell Viola i said hi” His eyebrows furrowed and he turned to her, his black eyes nearing hers.

“You spying on me now?” He questioned, watching as she took a pull from the cigarette that was in her hand before she ashed it on their tray. “I shouldn’t have to fucking spy on you if you called me! You don’t even have the decency to do that! But, you can call Viola to hangout whenever! Yeah…i checked that phone,” his eyes widened and he clutched his pocket where his phone was.

“Stay the fuck out of my business, Y/N!”

“I wouldn’t have to be in your business if you’d just tell me where you are and who you are with!”

“Did you ever stop and think maybe im trying to get away from you? God! You crazy bitch!” As the words left his lips he instantly regretted it and he didn’t even attempt to dodge as she hurled a the blue vase at him, letting it shatter into bite and pieces against his face. “Get out! Get out! I hate you! Leave me alone!” She hit his chest, tears streaming down her mahogany colored skin, pushing him out the door. And when he was finally out the door she broke down, sitting in that living for hours.

And then she heard the door knob move and she perked up, thinking he had came back. She nearly sprinted over to the door and opened it, but was disappointed when she saw that it wasn’t Sanji. Instead it was his brother, Yonji. He was about to say something smart and snarky, but when he had seen the state of the living room and her face, he knew there was something wrong. He may not have been his brother, but he still had same the attributes. He quickly consoled her, ran her a bath, cleaned up the place and made her something to eat; even though he wasn’t as skilled in the kitchen it had tasted just as good to her. And when she told him about what happened prior, he was shocked. Shocked that the woman lover, Sanji, had called his girlfriend a bitch.

“Look Y/N, im no saint so im not going to act like I am. But, my brother is a Vinsmoke just like the rest of us. Meaning there’s an asshole in him deep down, it’s in his blood. You deserve better than him…better than that” Yonji had a way with words, he knew how to control a situation. And by looking at Y/N’s plump lips then back up at her eyes, he went in for the kiss and was surprised when she kissed back. Things quickly heated and that’s when the two of them had sex on that same plush sofa.

“You hurt me. And all I could think about was hurting you back”

“By fucking my brother?!” He yelled, tears brimming his own eyes. It was very clear on what the outcome would be for this situation and Y/N was going to be the one to say it. “I think we should break up. We aren’t good for each other Sanji…not at all…”

“Yeah. I’ll be out of here by tonight”

[magmagicstyle]

JOLENE

(PART THREE OF THE OTHER WOMAN (“SO I CAN HAVE YOU BACK” SERIES))

A/N: THIS WILL PROBABLY HIT YOU IN THE FEELS... and I'm just sad. Also, yes, this is a huge flashback. (ESME POV)

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him just because you can

She could remember, clear as the day, the moment her husband met his soulmate. It wasn’t because of her perfect memory or because she was this supernatural being that could do things that most humans couldn’t. Not at all. It was because the day they met, she saw her husband's expression changing in a way that she had never seen before. 

Not even when her dear husband had told her that he loved her, his expression had been so honest, so eager. 

It was with that, that some part of her knew that she should walk away. She knew that she should let them know each other and follow the path that destiny had created for them. But a stronger beast inside her, a horrible, jealous and petty monster moved her to call his name, to hug him and press her body against him. To mark him as hers and to show his soulmate that he already had someone by his side. 

That's why she wasn't surprised when his soulmate growled at her. Red eyes like the blood that he probably drank quite often shining with anger and hatred. She pretended to be confused, to follow her husband's instructions without a clue of what was happening. She let him move her behind his body and enjoyed the feeling of being his priority over his own soulmate. Now, sitting in the empty room in her home, she only felt ashamed of her actions. 

Her husband's soulmate was young. Of course, she knew not to believe in someone's appearance since becoming an ageless monster herself but… A part of her, a deep part in her heart knew that he was young, inexperienced and so full of life and hope. She would even dare to say that her husband's soulmate had some innocence in him that not a lot of vampires had. Especially not the ones that drank from humans. Still, with his new golden eyes (he had started to change his diet after understanding how important it was for her husband), he looked so innocent and hopeful. 

And he was gorgeous. Even for a vampire. It made her think of her seudo-daughter, Rosalie. So beautiful that even vampires had to turn to look at her twice. He was like that, those gorgeous locks of hair framing a face that looked straight out of a fairy tale. He had a mouth perfect to be kissed, plump lips painted (un)naturally with a soft pink colour, and his now golden eyes made him look like a doe. He was so beautiful that she knew that his husband had a hard time pulling away from him when it was time to go to their marital bed. She felt how her husband wanted to stay deep inside the other vampire, enjoying the feeling of being blessed by his soulmate touch while he thrust deep inside him. Sometimes, she wished she could join them in bed, to look at his husband’s soulmate being ravished and fucked beyond making any sense. To look at the face of pure pleasure that her husband would make every time he came inside his mate, and then… to make her husband watch while she made his mate enjoy her body, to make the lovely vampire see her enjoy her husband’s touch. She wanted for them to see the other coming apart by her hand and watch how they came apart by touching themselves. 

Still, she knew that, even if he spent time ravishing the other male vampire, Carlisle would always leave his bed and go back to hers. She knew how every time that Carlisle left his lover’s bed, hurt the poor vampire tied to his soul. Still, she never accepted the idea or even proposed for her husband to stay with his mate for a full night. It wasn’t like Carlisle would even consider it. Her adorable husband, her sweet but traditional and a bit dumb husband. To focus on the idea of a perfect and truthful marriage that even the idea of having his mate as a lover made him fall into depression for a few months before reluctantly accepting the other vampire advances. Her husband, who as soon as he slept with his soulmate for the first time, left the other vampire and looked for her, kneeling in front of her and sobbing in her skirt while asking for forgiveness. She remembered that exact moment like it was yesterday. She remembered how she ended up looking up and saw the most heartbreaking scene in her husband’s mate. She remembered how the poor vampire’s eyes filled with tears that would never fall and how he turned around hiding inside his bedroom. Maybe the young vampire hoped for her husband to understand that they were meant to be and to leave her for him. Maybe he hoped that she would feel disgusted and leave her husband as soon as they slept together. She didn’t know. 

Still, nobody left. They continued that sick routine like it was normal. Her husband started to go more often to his lover’s bed. He ravished him for hours, moaning loudly and marking him in any way that he could in his own scent, before getting out of his bed and room and going to her bed. All of this, so he could bathe in her scent until he had forgotten all about his instincts that wanted to pull him back to his soulmate's arms. Out of spite, Esme, every night that his husband went to his lover and made love to him, she put on some music… Trying her best to ignore her own imagination, to ignore how much she wanted to see them together… And as soon as he came back to her bed, she turned off the music and made him whisper loving words in her ears, knowing deep down that the other vampire was hearing everything. 

She hated being the one making him feel unwelcomed, but at the same time, she loved that her husband always made her a priority over his soulmate. It was horrible, to be honest. Enjoying the clear sadness and anger from a vampire that had no other option than to love a man that clearly loved him but had promised his heart to another. Still, she had never said that she wasn’t a monster. Even if her husband wanted to believe otherwise. 

Your beauty is beyond compare

With flaming locks of auburn hair

With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green

Your smile is like a breath of spring

Your voice is soft like summer rain

And I cannot compete with you

Jolene

He talks about you in his sleep

And there's nothing I can do to keep

From crying when he calls your name

Jolene

She knew that her husband was starting to fall for his mate as soon as their conversations passed the simple carnal desires and started to be more simple. She understood that her husband was falling for the other vampire as soon as in the middle of the night, her husband would whisper about something his adorable soulmate had said or done the night before or about a funny joke his mate said during sex. Because, of course, his mate has helped him take some liberties and talk in ways that he wasn’t used to before. Because, his soulmate was able to help him in ways that she could never. 

She knew that Carlisle was falling for his mate as soon as they came from their work at the hospital laughing and commenting about something that a doctor or a nurse said, while she stayed at their home and followed the role of the typical housewife. She knew that he was falling for him as soon as he commented about her children to his mate, as soon as he made the poor hopeful vampire think that he was going to meet them and as soon as his mate started to get a bit more possessive over Carlisle’s time. 

It was almost as if he knew that her husband was falling for him, and saw it as a chance to push her out of the picture. She pretended that his rejection didn’t hurt. She pretended that being ignored by her husband’s mate and being treated as something to get rid off didn’t hurt. Not because she was bitter over it. After her actions, her petty revenges and rules, she didn’t deserve the opportunity of showing that she was hurt. She understood that in the young vampire’s mind, she wasn’t more than a meddling being that was in the middle of what could be an amazing relationship with his soulmate. But she was the wife, she was the one that shared her husband’s bed at night, even if they couldn’t sleep… And her husband’s soulmate, more than a real relationship, was the type of relationship you had with a dirty affair with a secretary or with someone from the office. In other words, the so-called soulmate was the other woman in this relationship. 

Still, she could see how her husband kept falling deeper for his mate. She could see it so clearly, so obviously… and she knew, she knew that the little minx that came into the picture to take her husband away from her arms, also knew that he was starting to win his heart. She saw how he sat on his lap sometimes, pouring him a glass of warm blood. All taken from his favourite animal. She saw how her husband’s soulmate talked warmly about their kids, even if he hadn’t met them yet. She saw how her husband’s eyes gleamed with soft adoration every time his mate wasn’t looking. 

A few months ago she would never think that her husband would come to really love his mate. Hell, a year ago she would never even entertain the idea of her husband leaving her. Now, looking at how her husband seemed to look at his mate like the vampire had put the stars in the sky, like he was the only religion left to believe, the only one who held the truth in his lips. Now, looking at the love this two shared for one another, even if they didn't notice that the other loved him, she wasn't sure that her husband wouldn't leave her if his mate really insisted on it. 

Esme wound’t lie. She was fucking scared of being left by her husband because his mate asked it for it while they were making love. At this point, she didn’t have any authority to call it only sex, the soft touches, the kind whispers that they shared while their bodies collided against one another and their hands gripped their stone cold skin. It made her feel like what he had with her was only sex. She barely remembered the last time Carlisle had said her name with such devotion, with such care. She couldn't even remember how it felt to be made love slowly and passionately. She knew that her husband's mate didn't have that problem.     

She also knew that her husband understood that he was starting to love his mate more than something instinctual and carnal, as soon as her husband started to pull away from his mate… and some rotten part of her, enjoyed watching the expression of pure disappointment and hurt that appeared on his mate’s face. 

And I can easily understand

How you could easily take my man

But you don't know what he means to me

Jolene

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him just because you can

Still, the satisfaction didn't last for long. The burn of guilt took her heart almost completely when she saw how her husband started to make dumb mistakes in favour of showing her that he loved her. The sadness, that first had appeared for his mate and then moved to herself, went back to appearing only when she saw the poor vampire tied by fate to her husband. After all, there wasn't a more horrible view than the one made by a creature losing what innocence it had left. 

She saw his efforts, his work for becoming better. She saw how much he tried. How he slowly became more and more quiet. The once charming and hopeful vampire had turned into something small, delicate and so pitiful, ike a small mouse trying to not drawn attention to itself, with fear of being thrown out… 

And yes, she had to admit (now with shame) that at first she was happy to have her husband's attention back. She enjoyed the feeling of being made love to. She bathed in the soft words, the caresses and whispers. She felt like a winner the first night her husband's mate only received a quick fuck after a long day and then how her husband made sure to show her the love and care that he didn't show his mate. She enjoyed how the soft cuddling and blood drinking in the couch that her husband and his mate shared started to become less and less, until her husband stood up from the couch and went to her if she showed that she needed him. She was winning in the fight were the love of her husband was the major prize and she wasn't above making dirty moves or act more fair and weak than what was possible for her to keep winning.

That was, until she heard him. 

Until she heard how her own actions were contributions to the suffering of a soul that even if wasn't kind to her, truly loved her husband. Until she heard sobs and whimpers that wouldn't produce tears. Until she heard the pleadings of a poor creature tied to someone that had made his chore to ignore him and hurt him in any way possible. 

She knew that her husband wasn't cruel, not intentionally. 

She knew that, but hearing how broken his mate sounded while asking him to stay at least one night in his bed, while asking him to at least hug him like before and hearing her husband say that hugs and cuddles weren't part of the deal that they made at the beginning, it left her feeling cold (even if it wasn't really possible). Hearing her beloved Carlisle act so coldly and stern with the gift that destiny had given him in their lonely existence, it made him almost unrecognisable in her eyes and ears. 

She knew that she was to blame for her husband's reaction, not completely, but she couldn't shake the blame after having played the game and used dirty tricks to win it.  She didn't control her husband, but she knew he was a man of honour and her acting like a poor housewife, acting a bit sad and heartbroken by his actions, was what pushed him to remember his vows and to pull away from his mate. Mate that was now suffering from being rejected without really being given a real existence of this sick relationship that they were trying to maintain. 

After all, it wasn't like her husband's mate and her loved each other. They were barely together and when they were, they acted civil at best. Their relationship was more like the ones forming part of a harem and fighting for the king's attention, willing to stab the other in the back just to look like the prettiest one in front of their master. It was sick and actually depressing. 

It was with that, with seeing herself in the mirror for the first time, that she understood how her actions and her husband’s stupidity and blindness at his own mate's feelings were breaking a bond that was supposed to be sacred. Carlisle's mate was pulling away from him, asking for less and less of his time, asking for less of everything. Almost like he was wasting away… and Esme… 

Esme felt that she was the only one in this house noticing how much suffering this poor creature was going through. It was like her husband had turned into a blind man, seeing what he wanted to see, acting like a stern father and a disapproving figure every time his mate asked for his time, asking for a bit of attention, for anything that Carlisle would be willing to give him… and Carlisle… 

Carlisle would give him crumbs of it. Carlisle would provide him with attention until he saw Esme passing by and he would drop everything to go to her. Yes, at first it made her happy but after seeing the hurt and suffering they were provoking, she wanted Carlisle to realise that he was making a huge mistake. Still, Carlisle wouldn't see. Carlisle would leave his mate to help Esme with some simple grocery bags that had cleaning products easy to carry around. He would leave his mate in the middle of a conversation just because Esme wanted to reach for something on a shelf. He would tell his mate that he was acting spoiled or entitled when he wasn't his real partner or the one he chose for himself… With those words, Esme questioned if her husband wasn't cruel. Maybe he was. 

You could have your choice of men

But I could never love again

He's the only one for me

Jolene

I had to have this talk with you

My happiness depends on you

And whatever you decide to do

Jolene

Everything reached a point where she couldn't take it anymore when Carlisle rejected his mate's idea of a trip together. Only the two of them… and it wasn't fair. It wasn't fair at all. Carlisle and Esme always went on trips alone, they travelled the world together and left the man's mate alone in their house without a call or anything. They went around, saw their children, acted like a happy family and then went back to their little cottage far from the world, and the little mate was there. Waiting like a dog that was so trusting of his owner that he knew that he would come back. But even dogs can have resentments and even pets can run away if they feel that they aren't loved. 

What's worse. Carlisle's words. His words were thrown so carelessly towards his mate, calling him childish, selfish and other things that Esme didn't want to even think of. How could he be so blind? Was it on purpose? He wanted to hurt his mate so he wouldn't love him? There was no way… after all, even when they were in bed together, Carlisle still commented about something that his mate had said or done… and he still looked so proud when talking about his mate's achievements… So, why? Why did he work so hard in making his mate feel unwanted?

Esme couldn't take it anymore. So as soon as they started their trip to see their children she decided to stop and talk with him. She yelled. She screamed in his face for his cruelty and the pain that they were putting his mate through. She even punched his chest and asked if he was the cruel and blind man that couldn't see when someone so precious was suffering. Then, she asked for a break. For a break of being together. A break from all the fighting for his attention. She confessed her actions like a sinner in front of a catholic father and told him of the things she heard and saw in his mate's eyes. She confessed how her actions, even if they came from a place of fear of being abandoned, were as cruel as his words and own actions… and Carlisle, her adored husband, broke down.

She never saw him so weak, so painfully distressed. It made her want to turn away and push him towards his mate, to pull him by the arm until he could hug his mate and beg for forgiveness. But they couldn't. They needed to see their children. They needed to compose themselves and pretend that everything was fine so they could have two days with them. Still, her husband looked so small. Carlisle was acting like a child having his heart broken for the first time and that was so painful to watch. Still, he promised to be better. He promised to accept what she was asking and to do right by his mate. He swore that he would start to make things right as soon as they were back in their cottage and that he would give his mate the love he had been hiding. He also promised to be better for her, but Esme didn't want that. Carlisle had been good to her, always… and that was the problem. 

So, when the two days passed and they were back in their cottage, Esme took a deep breath to feel the smell of her husband's mate… and came with nothing. Carlisle had run to his mate's room as soon as they arrived, wanting to get on his knees and ask for forgiveness, to ask for a change to make things right and to prove that he loved him… but came down with nothing more than a picture of him and his mate together. 

Esme, in the meantime, had turned to her side, a little shiny thing catching her attention and looked at the gorgeous ring that Carlisle had given his mate when he was falling for him and didn't even notice that he was. She hadn't seen it in a long time, always hidden under the young vampire clothes, like a little treasure. Under it, there was a letter. Surprisingly, it was addressed to her. 

"Dear Esme, 

I have to write this letter to you because I know you're the one who understands how much he means to me...

I would beg you to please don't take my man… but we both know that he was never mine, to begin with. 

Please take care of him, because we know that even if I wished I could… I can't take him from your arms.

Goodbye, Carlisle, I really hope that you aren't the only one for me, but right now, I don't feel like I will ever be able to love again. 

(Y/N)"

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

I'm begging of you please don't take my man

Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Jolene

Please don't take him even though you can

Jolene, Jolene

PERMANENT TAG LIST: @rexburn12 @kettnerjanea @pandalover19

TAG LIST FOR THIS SERIES: (I can't believe I have one of these!) @idksleep-y @catspector @simpingfortoomanypeople @akiraackerman19 @y2k-whor3 @blackenedflowers @untitled74745 @cruxiohp @fanficaddictmwah @finchisloney @sen-nn-a @mrsxyz480 @deepblueseasworld @blackenedflowers @maiasvidan28 @linoriii @lucianideals @erensbbg @theanimalover22128 @its-ares @thewhitewolfmarvel @chrisevansxmalereader @sammy-stark @sad-eyes-6k4 @datenshousan @creezoldyck @1800cokewitch @l4l4j0p433 @carlislecullensgirl @qu3nt1nb00m @stevensimpp @chubbichubb @fariylixie0915 @rhyanna6012

[mi-rae07]

Jung Wooyoung : Again

Pairing : Jung Woo-young (Ateez) and named character (Shin Iseul)

______________

Synopsis : Wooyoung left her thinking she had cheated on him. But when Iseul catches a fever few days later and is at her lowest, wooyoung seems to find her. Will he take care of her all over again? Or is his pride going to come in the way.

_______________ 

Iseul coughed as she felt her eyes get blurry from how sick she was, her hands fumbling around to find some medicine. But she found none, she just couldn't in this state. Iseul bent down on the floor, sniffing as she felt liquid run down her nose.

She needed him, god she wanted him close to her so bad. But he had left her, he had said he never wanted to see her again.

______________________

FLASHBACK :

Wooyoung : you were with that man.

Iseul : no! no, woo I was not.

Wooyoung : really? You're lying to my face now, iseul?

Iseul : him and I are just friends, I swear-

Wooyoung : MINA SAW YOU KISSING EACH OTHER, ISEUL! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING!

Iseul : why do you trust her more than me? Why do I have no say in any of this?

Wooyoung : a cheater has no right. I gave you my entire heart and you broke it apart. And for that I hate you, iseul. I will always fucking hate you.

Iseul : I have only ever loved you, wooyoung. I have not even thought about cheating on you, even once. You keep believing that lady over me, ALL THE TIME-

Wooyoung : BECAUSE SHE'S NEVER ONCE LIED TO ME, WHILE YOU'VE LIED EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU WENT OUT WITH HIM!

Iseul : THAT'S BECAUSE I'M SCARED OF HOW YOU MIGHT REACT, WOOYOUNG!

Wooyoung : GOD, FUCK THIS!

Wooyoung took his bracelet off and threw it at iseul, the edge hitting her tear-stained cheeks as his promise bracelet fell to the floor in front of iseul's feet.

Iseul : no-

Wooyoung : I'm breaking up with you.

Iseul : wooyoung, I swear I did not kiss him. Why won't you believe me-

Wooyoung : I SAID WE'RE DONE, SHIN ISEUL!

And before she could say anything, he had already left.

__________________________

Iseul was now sitting on the floor while trying to breathe through her mouth, her nose already blocked and bleeding. She needed to wipe the blood off of her nose, but she couldn't stand up and neither could she see straight.

Maybe she was going to die here like this. And maybe she didn't mind.

??? : ISEUL! PLEASE! OPEN THE DOOR FOR ME!

Iseul's eyes widened as she recognized the voice outside her apartment door, her hands clenching against the fabric of her sweaty dress as she kept quiet.

Wooyoung : NO, PLEASE. I'M SO SORRY, LET ME TALK!

Iseul said nothing, partly because she was gasping for air and partly because the blood tricking down her nose was starting to somehow scare her. She had never been this sick, wooyoung had never let that happen.

Wooyoung : ISEUL! I'M GOING TO BREAK THIS DOOR OPEN IF YOU DON'T LET ME IN, PLEASE!

Iseul could care less. She couldn't even move from her place anymore and was barely managing to so much as breathe. A few seconds later iseul heard the click sound indicating the door was now open, letting wooyoung in. she wasn’t shocked he knew the password, she hadn't really changed it.

A gasp was heard as wooyoung walked into the room where iseul was sitting crouched on the floor, her hands chipped with blood.

Wooyoung : oh no no no, iseul.

Wooyoung rushed towards her, kneeling on the ground as his breathing got heavy from sheer panic. He had never seen her this way before.

Wooyoung : no, what's…what's wrong with you. What's going on, please just-

Iseul : le-leave.

Wooyoung brought his trembling hand towards iseul's pale cold ones, his eyes teary

Wooyoung : I'm so sorry. God, this is all my fault I never should have left.

Iseul : but you di-did.

Wooyoung : seul-

Iseul : why'd you come back? That bitch told you the truth?

Wooyoung : no, no she said nothing. I just…I decided to come by myself because I missed you. And I just…I had this feeling you were hurt-

Iseul : don't give me bullshit, wooyoung.

Wooyoung moved closer to iseul, holding her cheek as he said

Wooyoung : I came back because I wanted to. I came back because I realized I was stupid to not trust you after all the love that you had showered me with. I was…I was wrong, iseul.

Iseul looked up at wooyoung with her hazy eyes, her nose still runny. Wooyoung leaned forward and kissed iseul's forehead before whispering

Wooyoung : I'm here right now and I'm going to make this better for you. Even if you don't love me anymore, let me do that. Please.

Iseul just stared at wooyoung as he lifted her up, carrying her in his arms as iseul's arms and legs wrapped weakly around wooyoung's body. Wooyoung laid a hand on the back of her neck, iseul's head on his shoulders as wooyoung carried iseul to her bedroom effortlessly. He knew what had to be done.

Wooyoung laid iseul on the bed before rushing outside, taking all that was required before rushing back to iseul's room.

Wooyoung : you have to eat your food and then your medicines, and I'll clean you up because the sweat and blood contributes to your being ill. And then I-

Wooyoung paused as he realized iseul was just staring at him, a blank look on her face.

Wooyoung : seul-ie?

Iseul : you're terrible. You…you hurt me and now you're trying to he-heal me?

Wooyoung : I regret hurting you, baby. I wish I had never done it, I regretted it every single fucking day.

Iseul looked away, coughing hoarsely as wooyoung sighed and kept the food tray on the bedside table before holding iseul's arm.

Wooyoung : you have to sit up.

Iseul : I don't want to.

Wooyoung : iseul-

Iseul : I will not eat the food you made.

Wooyoung pressed his lips together at the harsh words, his heart clenching.

Wooyoung : I…I didn't make them.

Iseul : don't lie to me, wooyoung.

Wooyoung : please, just this once. Iseul, you're too sick love. Please just let me-

Iseul : you're making me feel even sicker.

Wooyoung : is this what you want? Do you want to keep hurting me?

Iseul stared at wooyoung as he sat down, taking the bowl of soup in his hands before saying

Wooyoung : then do it. Hurt me all you want, say whatever you want to say. While drinking this soup, you can. You can call it bad, you can say it tastes terrible, say whatever the hell you want. But please, please just have this.

Iseul stared at wooyoung, not saying anything back. Wooyoung sighed and brought the spoon of soup closer to her lips as iseul slowly had it, the liquid soothing her dry, burning throat.

Iseul : you left me. You left me when you were supposed to fucking stay. And now you're here feeding me soup.

Wooyoung fed iseul another spoon of soup, not saying anything.

Iseul : you broke all the promises you had ever made me when you left. You broke it all apart.

Wooyoung still said nothing.

Iseul : what makes you think I would take you back after all that?

Wooyoung : I don't. I don't think you will ever take me back. I just don't want to see you sick, that's why I'm here.

Iseul : stop lying, jung wooyoung.

Wooyoung : you wouldn’t believe me even if I said the truth anymore, seul-ah. You're allowed to hate me all you want, I was wrong.

Iseul : you're trying to play the victim now.

Wooyoung : I'm not, I'm only trying to make you get better.

Wooyoung brought another spoon of soup forward before feeding it to iseul, her eyebrows furrowed at the taste. She missed his food, but she wasn't going to tell him that.

Iseul : what if you hadn't come today? What if you'd have continued to believe that I cheated on you? Would I have just died in here-

Wooyoung : don't say that! Iseul, you are not going to…to die. Not before I do.

Iseul rolled her eyes, looking away as she said

Iseul : because we totally get to decide that.

Wooyoung sighed as he kept the soup bowl away, taking the medicine before bringing it towards iseul's lips

Wooyoung : open.

Iseul opened them as wooyoung put the pills in her mouth before handing a glass of water, iseul drinking it down quickly.

Wooyoung : now sleep, I'll be right outside. If you need anything, just call me.

Wooyoung was about to get up and leave when iseul whispered under her breath

Iseul : you're leaving again.

Wooyoung : no. no iseul, I'm not going to leave you. I'll be right outside-

Iseul : and I can believe that? That you're just going to stay outside until I wake up?

Wooyoung : iseul-

Iseul : stay here next to me.

Wooyoung stared at iseul, half shocked. She'd told him she hated him, and now she wanted him to stay. Iseul lifted her hand and held wooyoung's arm, pulling him down on the bed as wooyoung fell right next to iseul.

Iseul : stay here until I wake up. You cannot leave.

Wooyoung supposed he could do that.

________________________________________

In fact wooyoung didn't leave. Because even when iseul had woken up hours later, dehydrated and half-asleep, wooyoung had his head rested on her hand, his eyes closed. But she did not fail to notice the dry tear-stains on his cheeks, and the irregular breathing pattern that he now possessed. He was having a nightmare, it was obvious with the way he was clenching his hand and mumbling small things under his breath.

Iseul reached out for him, hating the way her body reacted to seeing wooyoung in pain. She unconsciously brought her hand to wooyoung's hair, slowly resting her hand on it before whispering

Iseul : wooyoung.

He did not wake up. In fact, that only seemed to make it all worse. Iseul stroked wooyoung's hair, now slowly starting to sit up as she said

Iseul : wooyoung wake up, it's only a nightmare.

Again, he did not wake up.

Iseul : wooyoung! Wooyoung, you have to wake up, I'm right here!

At that wooyoung seemed to flinch hard as he quickly sat up straight, his teary eyes blinking as it tried adjusting to the surroundings. Wooyoung was breathing heavily, his eyes staring into iseul's worried, concerned ones. Wooyoung gulped as he looked away before asking

Wooyoung : did you need something? Water?

Iseul frowned at that. Wooyoung was clearly a mess from the nightmare he just had and the first thing he asked was whether she needed something?

Iseul : what was that?

Wooyoung : what was what?

Iseul : the nightmare.

Wooyoung : nothing, it was nothing.

Iseul : wooyoung, tell me. What was that nightmare about, what about it was so scary to you?

Wooyoung : you don't have to know-

Iseul : except I want to, so tell me.

Wooyoung sighed, looking away as he said under his breath

Wooyoung : I have a fear of abandonment. Autophobia, it's called. I just…I have these nightmares sometimes, that's all.

Iseul : you…you didn't have them when we were together.

Wooyoung : because we were together. Now you're gone, and that sort of…triggers the phobia, I suppose.

Iseul felt her heart drop at his words.

Iseul : wooyoung-ah, why didn't you tell me?

Wooyoung : because I didn't want you to stay only because of that. I'm not entitled to any of that from you after what I did.

Iseul stared at wooyoung who had his head lowered, his shoulders slumped. Iseul let out a breath and held a hand out for wooyoung to hold before saying

Iseul : come here.

Wooyoung : no. no stop.

Iseul : woo, I said come to me. You listen to me when I tell you, okay? So come to me.

Wooyoung slowly got onto the bed, the blanket engulfing the lower part of his body as iseul pulled wooyoung towards her. She put her arms around his upper body, wooyoung's head now rested on her chest as his hand gripped the side of iseul's waist.

Wooyoung : you don't have to-

Iseul : shh.

Iseul pulled the blanket over wooyoung and herself, her hands gently tapping the side of wooyoung's biceps as wooyoung slowly brought his head up to look at iseul with his teary eyes. She held his wet cheek, stroking her thumb along it before whispering

Iseul : don't cry.

Wooyoung : I'm sorry.

Iseul : no don't be sorry either. Woo, I'm not abandoning you.

Wooyoung nuzzled his head back into iseul's chest, tears falling down his eyes as he whispered

Wooyoung : you are abandoning me, iseul.

Iseul : no. you abandoned me, wooyoung. It's not the other way around.

Iseul paused as wooyoung suddenly sobbed against her chest, his grip on her waist tightening as he said in a broken voice

Wooyoung : I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, I regret it, iseul! I wish I hadn't done it and I-

Wooyoung cut himself off with another heart-wrenching sob, iseul's grip on wooyoung tightening as he whispered

Wooyoung : I miss you. I miss you so fucking much, I don't know how to even function without you, iseul.

Iseul pressed her lips against the top of wooyoung's head, sniffling as she said

Iseul : I missed you too.

Wooyoung looked up at iseul, his messed up, teary face coming to her view. He looked up at her with eyes filled with desperation and plead, his hands shaking as he said

Wooyoung : please don't leave me. Please don’t let go, please. I have…I have no one except you, please don't leave me iseul.

Iseul : I won't leave you, wooyoung. I never was planning to, until I got sick. I was planning to prove my innocence to you-

Wooyoung : I don’t need it. God, I don't need it!

Wooyoung leaned forward and captured iseul's lips in his, making her eyes widen as she said

Iseul : no! I'm sick and you'll-

Wooyoung : let me catch it. I can suffer a million of these fevers if it means being able to kiss you. Again, and again.

________________________

[steddieas-shegoes]

I’ve seen a few really incredible headcanons and fics about Steve’s fear of water after everything and they are so important because they have all so accurately and beautifully covered the reality of dealing with actual PTSD and specific trauma that manifests in ways that may not make sense in the grand scheme of things (though to me it does make complete sense)

But I haven’t seen (and please share if you have because I’m desperately trying to find something) anything related to Eddie’s fear of water after everything

Like he didn’t even seem to be a fan of it before everything! And then he had to jump into a lake he knew could probably kill him to try to save people he barely knew after witnessing someone fucking die over it??? His introduction to the upside down was through a gate at the bottom of a lake!!! That man is traumatized!!!

But I do feel like it manifests differently for him and much later. Like initially he’s fine. He has no trouble with touching water, showering, even goes swimming in Steve’s pool with the kids when his stitches come out and he gets cleared by the doctors. He’s fine for so long, he kind of just assumes he’s got a “normal” trauma for everything.

But then it starts raining one night when he’s walking with Steve and Robin. And the way the rain falls feels so heavy and cold, he’s immediately taken back to the bats trying to eat him alive. It’s dark enough that the rain glows the same way the dust in the upside down does. He has a panic attack that takes both Steve and Robin sitting down on the pavement and talking him through it, breathing with him, touching him so he knows he can still feel them.

After that, he doesn’t go back in the pool; it’s too cold even in the middle of summer when it should be a relief. He doesn’t go outside if there’s even a chance of rain; he can’t feel the drops hit his skin or he’ll have another panic attack. He doesn’t take baths, and takes the fastest shower he possibly can; both feel too much like the pool or the rain. He doesn’t even wash his hands the way you’re supposed to, hating the lingering moisture even after he’s dried his hands so hard he rubs his skin raw.

It probably takes YEARS for him to move past any of it, and he never completely does. All it takes some days is hearing rain hit the roof of the trailer and he’s getting flashbacks that keep him frozen for hours.

But he isn’t alone.

Steve helps the most because he has his own shit to work through. Robin helps them both.

The kids help in the only ways they really know how: distractions. But he appreciates them for it all the same.

Nancy does research. Finds books about psychology and exposure therapy, which is a new science that hasn’t had nearly enough research but is worth a shot.

Jonathan and Argyle give him their best weed when he’s gone through exposure therapy with Nancy, stating that he deserves it for being brave enough to try pushing himself like that.

He’s probably never going to not flinch when it starts to rain, and he may never fully relax in the pool, sometimes the shower might turn into a quick rinse instead of a full wash, but he does get better.

[geminixevans-stan]

Found Ch. 2

Pairing: Lloyd Hansen x Female Reader

Words: 2.1k+

Summary: After finally finding out reader’s whereabouts, Lloyd comes to make up for lost time, by any means necessary 

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, mentions of past life, mentions of gun use, a smidge of violence, mentions of headshots, explicit language. 

A/N: I’m back to this unhinged man! I enjoyed writing this after my long stint of not writing and I hope you all love it!  Like, comment, & reblog! ♥

Divider by @firefly-graphics

I do not consent to my work being copied, plagiarized, or translated in any way >:P

Flashback

You stare at the detailed brief, scanning over it twice… three times. The mission seemed like an easy feat, one that you felt needed no help on. But you were the newbie, a fresh face is what the director described. 

Graduating at the top of your class, excelling is every single test, you were deemed overly qualified for the Federal Bureau of Investigation. 

Your skills were one to envy, with perfect scores on all targets, there was no better shooter than you. Even on your worst day, the best agent couldn’t even get close to you. 

It took you a while to be seen by someone who actually respected your qualifications. But it was work unlike you had ever seen. 

It didn’t matter the target that you were assigned. If it had a pulse, it wouldn’t be once    Le silencieux came in and did what needed to be done. 

News of your abilities circled around until An Agency decided to take you in. Promising you bigger targets with bigger pay. You would kill anyone. Almost. 

Children were always off limits…

Something that the agency respected. Seeming as though they had other contractors that would do that side of the dirty work. 

You didn’t need anybody to help you. Which was why as you look at the brief one more time, there was a point of contact. A supervisor that would be accompanying you on said mission. 

Lloyd Hansen was a household name and when the agency needed effective work, he was the guy to call. That was up until you came along and he got wind of your talents. 

If it wasn’t your job in Berlin that alerted him of your prowess, it was definitely your last job or taking out one of the top-paid tycoons on the West Coast of America. 

Said to be the most untouchable mogul in the world, you decided to prove that theory otherwise. To the media, the cause of the death was natural causes. 

But Lloyd knew better. He looked over the autopsy reports over and over. You left everything pristine and even he would roll his eyes at having to do extra work. 

It didn’t take him much asking to be put to watch over you. With a record like yours, you didn’t need a babysitter. 

He just wanted to have a front-row seat to just how good you were…. 

Present Day

Your fingers hit the numbers on the keypad quicker than you’ve ever moved, hearing the access notification. With no time to waste, you motion for Lloyd to enter, smelling the same scent that you knew so well. 

As the door closes by your hand alone, silence fills the room. The tension was as loud as ever and you wanted nothing more than to quell the impending elephant in the room. 

“Nice office ya got here munchkin,” Lloyd’s voice comes into play as she looks around the modern study. 

Professional and well organized to the naked eye and you wanted to keep it that way. 

Pleasantries weren’t something that you really had time for. The reason for your disappearance stood before you, that smug smirk on his face as he set his eyes on you. 

It was maddening the way one look could annoy all the fibers in your being. He was the only one that could do that. 

And nothing had changed from then to now. 

Steel is held to your waist, not letting your finger slip from the trigger as you look over at Lloyd, the annoyance already rolling off you. 

“You’re not here to talk interior decorating and I don’t have time to talk nice,” you say curtly, your feet planted in the same spot, “Now… What do you want?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“Can never tell with you Lloyd. You’re not very good at context clues. Cut the shit.”

Lloyd stares into you, a soft smirk weighing on his lips as he pulls his gun from the holster, automatically making you draw yours. 

“Easy there sharp shooter… I come in peace for the moment,” a grin spreading across his face as she sits on the edge of your desk. 

You don’t trust him and he knows that by the way your gun is still pointing at him between the eyes. 

He sits there on the desk, watching you… studying you even, looking at the slight changes of your compared to years ago. 

Still as beautiful as he remembered but more… scared. 

Like you finally had something or someone to lose… 

If it was one thing you knew: Lloyd Hansen Never puts his gun down. For once, you decided to trust him. Whatever he wanted needed to be said now. No telling when exactly Lili would wake up. 

With reluctance, you place your guns in their holsters, making sure you had easy access in case he had any ideas. 

“Why are you here?”

“Colibri…”

“Don’t,” you say sharply, your voice not faltering, “You don’t get to call me that…”

A frown sets on his lips, the tick in his jaw evident as he clenches his fist, “You left… without a word. Care to explain that?” 

You smirk, deciding to play him at his own game, “Isn’t it obvious?”

“Cute… real cute cupcake,” the deep chuckle coming from his throat, his eyes boring into yours, “You know… I hate broken families,” He starts off, raising from his makeshift seat and walking over to you. 

His height towered over you but it didn’t matter. You were the only woman to ever to bring Lloyd Hansen to his knees. A feat that even the most notorious assassin couldn’t even do. 

You never budged as he stalked closer, his cologne just barely kissing the insides of your nostrils.

Still bold with a hint of sweetness, just like the scent you got for him, courtesy of your many stays in France. 

Lloyd bends just a little to meet your eye level, shamelessly breathing you in as he lets out a low groan, “Still as delicious as I remember… I would hate to have to slowly get my answer from you ma douce and you know I can take my time very well. Start talking.”

If an answer was all he wanted, then that’s what you would give. You had no problem hurting his feelings when he had his hands on Lili. That was his first and only strike. 

You let out a steady breath, keeping eye contact with him as you began to speak, “It’s not rocket science. I got pregnant and knew the second that it was real that my old life was done. There was no way that I was going to bring a baby into this mess. She didn’t deserve to have an unhinged father like you,”

Lloyd stayed quiet, waiting for your next words. He knew you were far from finished. 

“And I was right… Here you come and kill her nanny, break into her room, and demand answers. Dad of the freaking year.” 

“Only two of those are right ma douce..” 

He answers while holding up two fingers, his voice void of emotion. The desk becomes his seat again as she swings his leg over the front, staring at you once more. 

“I would never kill our daughter’s nanny. She does need looking over after all. Since you think you know what kind of father I am, you would have known that.”

Your eyes begin to soften a bit, bringing fixing them back to how they were, “Never thought I’d see the day that you would have a moral compass. I’m touched,” you say flatly. 

“I still don’t Colibri but, I’ll make an exception this time.”

A slow clap fills the room as you begin to mock him, “I should be honored huh? At least you care a little. I’ll give you that much. She’s still my daughter. The only thing you did was deposit a weak sample.”

“My ‘samples’ were what you used to crave at one point in time. You can play coy all you want but we both know the truth ma douce…”

No matter how wrong you wanted him to be, Lloyd was once all you cared about. All you yearned for. You knew deep down he could never love. 

You blink away for a second, setting your sights back on him, “You’re right, there was a strong one out of the bunch. Ya did some good in that retrospect.”

“What can I say ma douce, I never disappoint…”

“And yet you’re still here… I told you what you wanted to know. You got what you wanted,” you knew this wasn’t going to be easy. 

Lloyd was never easy… 

He gives you a knowing look, the tick in his jaw back again as he grew more annoyed. 

You needed him out of your house and far away from Liana… She didn’t need him and neither did you.

Without a second thought, you walk around him and sit in your rightful seat, blowing out a slow breath.

“I know you, Lloyd. The minute she would have been of age. You would have taken her and made her into your image. I’ve seen it before…”

There was no proof that Lloyd would have taken Lili down the same road as your father did. But, you weren’t going to take any chances. 

You were made into a weapon far before you were even a teenager. Target practice, day in and day out, combat practice when you turned eight. 

To say you had a sliver of a childhood would have been a lie. You never even wanted children for that sole purpose alone. 

But your surprise child softened you the minute you heard her heart beating. 

Loud snapping took you from your thoughts, Lloyd’s face almost touching yours. 

“Whatever daddy issues you may have has nothing to do with me. You took time away from me and I’m ready to collect on it.”

“You won’t go near her again”

“Watch me.”

“We both know how this will end, Lloyd. Do you really want to do this?”

Lloyd leans up from you, standing up from the desk, his lips pulled in a thin line, “I’ll give you two options sweets. The easy way or the hard way.” 

A chuckle erupts from your lips, stopping just as fast as it started. 

“You know I love the hard way Lloyd and if that means putting a bullet through your fucking head, then I will.”

A soft knock interrupts you both as you stand up, only for your face to meet the desk hard as Lloyd crossed over to slam you down.

The soft knocking continues as you begin to struggle, feel the tight grip Lloyd has on your arm. 

“Mommy?” a soft muffled voice comes from behind the door, causing your fight reaction to rise. But your strength is no match for the pressure Lloyd has on you. 

Cold steel meets your temple, Lloyd’s breath, coasting over your ear, “As I said before… I hate broken families. But I’ll splatter your brains on this desk and make our daughter half an orphan,” you struggle against his hold as he slams you down again, the knocking continuing to ensue. 

“Just a minute baby! Mommy’s coming,” your voice shakes, hot tears prickling the corners of your eyes. 

The knocking stops, knowing that she’s waiting, you lift your head up a bit to listen to the man keeping you from your baby. 

You relax a little eliciting a content sight from Lloyd, “That’s good… compliance is all I asked for. Now, you take your ass to that door so I can meet my daughter. You’ve wasted enough of my time so make it quick,” he spat, releasing you from his hold as you stood up and walk to the door. 

As you turn the knob, the fear that you had the day Liana was born came back to you. All the running that you did still wasn’t enough. It was now or never and weren’t going to leave Lili in the hands of just Lloyd. 

The door opens and her large stuffed rabbit meets your eyesight before she does. Her eyes are still low, sleep still apparent in her. 

“You okay sweetie?” bending down to check the warmth of her forehead, “Still not feeling good?”

Lili shakes her head, hugging her rabbit as she looks behind you, “Mommy? Who’s that?”

The question that you never wanted to answer. But it was staring you right in the face and the last thing that you wanted to do was to lie to her. 

The words were lost on your tongue as you know that this choice could make or break the only person in the world that truly loved you. 

Your creation wanted answers and you wouldn’t make her wait and let her lose more sleep. 

But it wasn’t you that answered the question. You didn’t even know that Lloyd was behind you until you heard a tone that was only ever meant for you. 

Softness…

“Hi there Princess Liana… I think it’s time we formally met…”

[crplpunkklavier]

obsessed with how klavier's canon timeline just fully makes no sense.

his trial against phoenix is his first, right. at this point, the gavinners are already famous enough to perform expensive concerts, due to their debut single hitting platinum overnight. we don't know when this happened, just that it had to be before the gramarye trial, because klavier talks about it there. ok.

when kristoph talks to him before the trial, in the flashback, we briefly see klavier's office, that already seems to have guitars all over the wall. that's not necessarily an inconsistency, it just means that even before he ever went to court, klavier had that office, and enough money to cram it full of guitars, which also suggests they aren't necessarily like a carefully curated collection, but were in fact just some 16~17 year old guy who just got a lot of money and bought 50 guitars at once in some sort of teenage frenzy.

we also don't know when exactly he took the bar exam, only that he took it in europe. obviously, it was before that first trial, so he might have even been younger than 17, but we don't know.

my favorite part, though, is that he says that daryan was the first detective he'd ever worked with, which can also mean a number of really weird things. clearly, the gavinners existed before klavier started prosecuting, so,

either he knew daryan before daryan was a detective, and they started the band together and then both also started into their law enforcement lives, in which case its hilariously strange of klavier to say that he was the first detective he ever worked with. like, i guess, but you also knew him when you were in high school.

or the gavinners existed without daryan for a short time, which seems unlikely, but would also be really funny given they had a platinum hit without this dude then. and then klavier starts working with a detective and is like hey you should join my glam rock band. yeah youve heard of us

or klavier worked with him on a case he just didnt prosecute, either because it didnt go to trial, or maybe he worked on it for school or something, which then implies that either daryan somehow made detective before he hit 20, or daryan is SEVERAL years older than klavier. which, according to canon ages, he is not. they're the same age. but maybe daryan pretends to be 5 years younger or something. wouldn't put it past him. or he pretended to be older with a fake ID so they'd let him into the force (also hilarious). because we know daryan didn't study abroad, since he canonically has never left the country.

and then lastly there's the fact that it is heavily implied that klavier just.... stopped prosecuting after the gramarye trial. or at least the judge hadn't seen him around in a while, and klavier doesn't deny that he was absent, allegedly because his band got so big. we're made to believe that he only returns once he hears of apollo, and yet his office looks the exact same, as far as we can see in pictures. which once again leaves us with two possibilities: klavier's office was left completely untouched for 7 years, or he moved out of there after one trial, and then came back 7 years later and decided, yep, i should put my guitars up again the exact same way i did when i was 17.

there's also a thousand other ways of reading all this really. i honestly think this was all just the writers sort of winging it, and it's not like the mason system doesn't fully fuck up the timeline in that game anyway, so i don't think any of these are any more or less canon than others. they're just fun theories to play around with. what the fuck was this guy doing.

[tomriddles-wh0re]

'The Weeknd' // E.Y Pt. 2

Pairing : female!reader x Eren Yeager, background angst jean kirstein x reader(bashing for the sake of the plot) 

w.c: 3.2k 

Summary : Caught up in a world of money, fame, girls, and lies as the man of your dreams is ripped away from you in an unexpected cheating scandal. In response, you make a move with another high profile artist but unexpectedly it becomes a bit more than you bargained for when feelings for the brunette become unearthed. Modern fame AU/Fake dating AU

Trigger warnings: none

pt 1 | pt 2

Saturdays were what you called ‘reserved days’. If you weren’t working or coming back from a long drive from your parent’s house, you were curled up with blankets and snacks binge watching your favorite tv shows and hiding away from your friends. The truth was that in the past two months, you began to throw yourself into working far more hours. Taking on clients on the weekends, even those clients who managed to get on nerves simply because they kept coming even though they refused treatment. Many claimed they were in perfect condition, despite the pain they all held.

These reserved days became far too frequent once you began working far too many hours each week. Your boss, a little older lady named Elma, had waved you off when you asked to take on an additional shift on Saturdays and Sundays. Leaving you to pile yourself up in your apartment, the small room you had managed to get a week after news of Jean’s infidelity had leaked to the public. The apartment wasn’t much, but until you and Jean could sell your joint house, you were stuck dealing with the mess that was the Southern California housing market.

Sasha had decided to crash at your house last night, sleeping on the coach after you both came back from an all night street food fair and outdoor carnival set up. She sat beside you as the tv played the newest episode that was released from your favorite reality show, you hummed watching as Miley, your favorite cast member, began to pace hearing Hannah expose a detail about the new addition that was just brought into the show two episodes ago. “oh my god” you mumbled, connecting the dots of an attempted sabotage against Miley. The guy had known her before the show had started, she hadn’t met him before. A flashback began to play of him with another guy speaking briefly what looked like away from the filming crew.

A light buzzing noise interrupted your concentration, coming from the coffee table in front of you. Ignoring it you kept watching, reaching to grab the bag of baked chips from the table as Sasha shot you a weird look. The buzzing died out momentarily before it began again, ringing and drawing both of your attention as you refused to look down at the screen of your phone. “Y/n, are you going to answer that? Sasha said from across the living room, lounging on the large loveseat you had claimed before the move. As your phone lays lighting up non stop on top of the glass table. Glancing at you she reached over toward the table annoyed and sighing loudly, grabbing the remote and then tossing the phone in your direction as she hit the pause button. Even though you knew to expect it, the name “Mallory” on your screen still unnerved you. Pouting towards the screen, “It’s my manager, one sec” you said whilst bringing the phone up to your ear and answering the call.

“Hey, what’s up?” you spoke nervously. “y/l/n have you seen my texts?” She paused and you just knew she had rolled her eyes since she was used to you dragging your feet during any type of media campaign. “Well, I have been trying to reach you. Did you see anything I sent over? I have some serious updates on Yeager and our rollout.” “Oh” you mumbled confused on how you had missed the media finally covering the story with Eren. It surely hadn’t been too long but you missed any new trends on your platforms. Nearly a week had already passed since the night of the party, the photos you took earlier in the night were already posted, some twitter and instagram blog accounts had began spreading rumors of you being spotted with another man, and a blurry photo from far away that Sasha had taken was leaked by a few big accounts. Lots of people began speculating since the rumors were true when the image had confirmed it. The photo had shown you shyly tilting your head back while looking over your shoulder, clearly giggling as a taller male stood with his hands around your waist with his head hidden behind you in the darkness. The outline of his eyes barely being made out behind the brown hair and the small amount of light. The photo had gone around already two days ago, even close friends of your ex had reached out asking about it nonstop, wanting to know who it was. Connie, even if a friend of both of you, began to pester Sasha too. Blogs ran with the photos, youtube channels included you in their weekly drama recaps, and your dm’s were all filled asking the same questions. Who were you with that night? Had you gotten over the messy breakup?

Both you and Eren’s manager had made it clear to both of their clients that the role needed to be followed without any interference or changes to make it a successful campaign, we both knew it was said mainly meant for Jaeger to follow. Zeke and Mallory had brainstormed, basing the rollout on the idea of an image of an unknown man being pictured with you leaked to blogs, which began to trend for a few days to stir up some controversy before the eventual dropping a photo with Eren’s face in it. Between both of them, they agreed the timing just had to be perfect to get through a suitable “hard launch” and we(Eren) couldn’t get in the way of the rollout. His social media privileges were limited after his last few controversies online.

“So you won’t believe it,” she cheerily said as her tone entirely changed directions, “me and Zeke had planned to leak the final photo with Eren in the next few days after a potential soft launch story, you know a story of roses or a cropped photo of the two of you sat at a restaurant, and yada yada. Well so we decided to risk an early release, an account called dion.alise is run by this well known blogger who has a small but loyal group of followers” she said. “okay so, she’s known for her celebrity gossip and ‘insider’s appeal’ since she is a makeup artist and hairstylist for major award ceremonies-” she paused as you hummed along letting her continue the usual debrief. “Anyways, not only did she leak the photos a little over an hour ago but right after the post she found someone at the party who had taken more photos but from another time that night. Go look at what I sent to your phone. It's the very first link.”

Moving to follow her instructions, you tapped to place her on speaker phone and scrolled through notifications to open the bubble of what she sent to you. Scrolling up past a dozen links until you go to the first one from today, noisily Sasha saw and moved over to the nearest cushion as you clicked on the link. Mallory began talking again as you sat still looking over the post displayed on your phone, “The rollout is going to look a hundred times more organic, just look how grainy the photos are but we can still tell who’s in it”. Sasha hummed next to you as she pulled out her phone, shooting you a look when you stopped attempting to respond to your manager's voice. Looking at the photos under the title: “EXCLUSIVE: Y/L L/N AND EREN YEAGER TOGETHER, MYSTERY MAN CONFIRMED?” One image of you looking over at Eren from the beginning of the night as you led him outside to speak and the next few were far away photos of the two of you outside on the porch barely seen with the dimly lit patio. Through most of the photos it was clear who was there, the dress you wore had lamented in was you as the profile of you left no question. ‘Ren, wasn’t hard to recognize. There was an aura around him, the way he looked at you, pointedly but his face was not obscured by bad lighting or his hair. The recognizable smirk smile he wore and the black ink that barely peaked out from his sleeves left no questions. The tattoo you failed to recognize that night started mockingly back at you. There was no room to lie about who was there anymore and you were unsure if you were glad or annoyed with that fact.

But seeing the post made whatever you had with Yeager feel a million times more official, even if it was for the publicity you could not deny the warmth that flushed through your cheeks as you looked at the photos and how later that night you would end up making out in his car. Glancing back up, Sasha moved slowly to reach down to your screen, swiping and zooming between the photos. A brief guilty feeling coursed through you looking at her, even though she was your closest friend you decided not to tell her about the new “relationship” between you and the singer. Had she taken this photo? Had she known about the car ride and ‘Ren? Mallory repeated something but it was unclear if she said something to someone else in the office. I thought I heard my name but I was focused on the girl beside me. Whispering away from the phone, “Was that you and Niccollo?” You turned fully to the left, she shook her head. “Of course not-” cutting herself off as my manager interrupted. Should that have been a relief? Or a weight on my chest that I decided to keep those moments to myself.

“Please tell me you have looked through the comments and your analytics” she asked excitedly as if looking through new stacks of data. A new notification popped at the top of your screen alerting you to an image she sent you. Scrolling down to screenshots of the trend in profile visits from today on your instagram. “There’s a lot of opinions on the pair of you but overall it’s a lot of positive receptions, honestly far more than what Zeke expected especially for his brother.” “Look into his music, his most recent releases just began trending higher on the charts and the music category on both Spotify and Youtube for his music videos. Don’t even get me started on the reposts from the blogs and them eating the situation up. Your follower count has gone up within the hour and I got a text from Jaeger’s manager that not only are his streams going up but he has had a new influx of followers.” Her smile was heard through the phone as some confusing thoughts filled your mind. Were you and him official? What were you supposed to say if anyone confronted you in person? The last week’s endless conversations with Mallory should have told you how you react but you were unsure you wanted to voice anything when you hadn’t known any clarity between him and you.

“Hey Mallory” Sasha chimed in from beside you, “I’m here with her and she’s super excited on the rollout. Sorry we’re busy at the moment, we can’t chat for too much but thank you for the update.” I began to move to stand up and give Sasha a grateful smile, “yeah thank you so much, sorry for the late reply I have been in the middle of a lot since its my day off.”

“Oh no worries, I just needed to update you on the recent developments. I’ll text you any new information, take care okay babes?” she said before we said our goodbyes to end the call.

The red button clicked as silence filled the room, I paced around and looked at the tv show paused on the screen and I no longer wanted to watch it. My life was beginning to feel like another episode that was poorly thrown together. “What are you thinking? I can hear you angrily pace around” she said, frowning from the couch.

The hardwood floor felt cool beneath my socks, the small sounds of the air conditioning running brought my focus back and away from the loud flow of blood pumping to my head. I was angry right? Not at the media rollout, I was supposed to be angry at Jean? Any thoughts of him had made me shrivel up and scowl. I had felt anger at him, I wanted him to feel humiliated knowing I was moving on and especially with his old friend. But now, I wasn’t angry or focusing on him. The small anger I felt rise in me was a small tide of unease, a fear and a dislike of what was to be expected now? I felt so serious and committed to exploring being single and Eren made me feel more committed than any label had. He wanted me, was interested in and had liked me for years before I was living such a stable life. I hated to admit it but I was afraid, we weren't even really dating. The comments and reactions are from others who don’t know the amount of nights I cried in the last week wishing I wasted five years with someone who loved me and not Jean. A part of me felt an immense guilt that ‘Ren could only “have” me now that Jean had hurt me. He still controlled me after the break up, the night with Eren I felt like relieved of the burden. I felt like someone truly cared for me and I felt like I had a choice. I chose him, just like he always had. When we younger and even know. The glances from years ago and claims from friends that he was interested finally made sense, Jean's possessiveness when in front of him made sense. Part of my felt unworthy of his interest, I wanted a shot at love with someone I wanted. Yeager was that but it felt off in front of the eyes of thousands.

“I don’t even know. I think I’m so overwhelmed thinking about everything that has happened these past months that this is stressing me out so much” I finally broke the silence, ignoring the tidal wave that was begging for me to release. I turned and moved to sit back down, grabbing the remote to push play and hopefully allow Sasha to be distracted to not question me further. By the look she gave me I knew it did not distract her but she chose to not bring it up.

-

Hours later, Sasha had needed to head home and take care of her dogs while Niccollo got ready for his shift.

Around Midday I ate lunch, checked my emails, responded to a few texts from both managers, and spent some brief time scrolling slowly through the trending topics online. Easing myself through slow scrolls past the brief mentions of myself, after a while I kept seeing Jean’s name in the conversation and it turned my stomach. A feeling tugged at my mind the entire day, I wanted to know how Eren had felt. His name was trending, but so had far more negative news on his past issues with Jean and it felt inappropriate for me to reach out when I felt like I was hurting his image. In some reactions I was called the issue, who “quickly” moved on from her ex and purposefully got together with someone he publicly had issues with. It was true in a sense, but I hoped the news would impact my ex far more negatively.

I fidgeted, hovering my finger above the call button on his contact before my screen flashed. An incoming call from lit up, the name “Ren” taunted me. I urged myself to at least wait ten seconds to not seem too eager, clicking accept I said, “Hey” I said. “Hey,” his voice rang out loudly, “I wanted to talk to you. I haven’t had the chance all day but I’m hoping you’re free now”

“Yeah I am, its my off day today" I said. “Okay great, I had Zeke over when the blog posts dropped.” “Oh”

“Yeah, I wanted to see how you’re dealing with it,” he spoke. “I never really saw you as the type to be use to all this coverage. I told him we might want to wait a few more days-” I hurried to interrupt him. “It's okay ‘Ren", his nickname easily slipped out. “I know you mean well but I’m sure your brother told you they need to stick to the schedule” I spoke.

“well- yeah but if you needed the time it could all wait” he spoke earnestly, his side of the call was quiet and it surprised me. I never thought about how his life must have looked daily but I imagined he was in his own apartment. Sitting on his couch, maybe petting his dog or watching a game muted while listening to the sounds of the phone held to his ear. I imagined as I look around my own living room.

“Thank you, I know but we already agreed and they know what they are doing. We can’t really argue with Mallory or Zeke since it’s started.”

“I guess you’re right but let me know if it's too much, yeah?”

“Yeah, I will” I agreed.

“Good, I also called since I wanted to ask are you busy tonight?” he shyly asked, “because if you are I totally understand but um-” I listened feeling the heat hit my cheeks. “Do you want to go out tonight? Maybe get something to eat. Or we could stay in, you can come to mine and I’ll order food or something.” He rushed out the last words.

“Would it be okay if you came over to mine and we could eat in?”

“YEAH, yeah” he repeated a little in disbelief. “Does Thai food sound good? I can send you a link to a place's menu and pick some up later”

“That’s perfect, I’ll send my address” I said.

“Great- can I come over around 5?”

“Sure, but ren,” “Yeah?” he said hesitantly. “This isn’t a date, you’ll have to actually ask me out on a date” “

So we’re already planning second dates now?” he teasingly said.

“No, just making sure I make you know just because the internet says you 're together doesn’t mean you don’t have to put some effort in. If this is going to work, I want this to be slow but serious” I said.

“Trust me, I want to see how this goes but I also want you to want me” he said. ‘So did I’ is all I could think. “I know Eren,” I said “I’ll see you later and we can talk more later yeah?”

“Yup, I will text you when I’m on the way”

As I got off the phone, I went to tidy around the house before I could even prepare to get ready. Checking and double checking that everything was nice and neat. The nerves hit me despite knowing Eren would not judge my tiny slightly shambled home. A bell chimed from my phone, turning around as I looked around the room before spotting the small device. I found it innocently looking up again from the coffee table, this time the message wasn’t from Mallory or perhaps Eren saying he was headed over. One word,

Jean: hey

[casuallivi]

The Midnight Kiss

List of things that got a chokehold on me: Elain, Elain Archeron, Elain Kingslayer, Elain the Quiet Dreamer, Azriel, Flashbacks.

Characters blueprint: Cass: inappropriate, flirty | Elain: hyperactive, daydreamer | Azriel: passionate, straightforward | Mor: damaged, ambitious.

Enjoy. Comments are welcomed and cherished :)

Part 2: What in the Freaky Friday nonsense is going on

A fish out of water had more mouth action than Elain, because she was paralyzed. Completely and utterly paralyzed.

She saw it happening in slow motion, her eyes turning the size of golf balls as Azriel’s big hands cradled her face, bringing her closer to his puckered lips. She opened her mouth, if to scream or laugh she would never know, because in that moment his mouth hit hers, a peck landing awkwardly between her upper lip and the smooth skin under her nose. His half-lidded gaze moved up to hers, brown and hazel locking together as he gently tilted her head and corrected the kiss. Elain quivered. Not from the weirdness of him deciding to kiss her out of nowhere – which was extremely weird – but because her face tingled in every point of contact they shared.

He might as well have sucked the air from her lungs, because she was breathless instantly, electricity shooting up her spine. Elain ha always thought that kissing one’s boss was a big no. Right now every part of her chanted yes, yes, yes. Her brain short-circuited.  God, how long has it been since she kissed someone? It’s been a while since she dated someone, and Elain was never a fan of the whole one-night-stand culture.

Elain Archeron liked to bring the implicit rules of friends-to-lovers into real life. She liked to meet someone organically, get to know what send their brain ticking, test their sense of humor before evolving form the crushing-stage to the I-want-you-stage. The crushing stage happened to her a lot. The problem was most of her crushes were temporary and fickle, a week's worth of infatuation till her energetic brain got bored and needed something new to feel stimulated.

With Cassian things were different. He was different. Cassian Marino came, stayed and still was the object of her fantasies – the man was going strong for a whole year! Elain knew he would be one of her one-week-crushes the moment she heard his rumbling laughter ricochet like a thunder in the studio. Nuala, her amazing bestie, cashing a favor, led to Elain meeting the biggest handsome man she ever seen in her life. That day Cassian was too busy flirting with a giggly model to notice her. Elain, on the other hand, noticed everything about him.

For Christ’s sake, the man looked like a walking ad to a very expensive shampoo for lumberjacks. He was tall, tall and buffed! His arms alone were probably the size of her head, the muscles covered in healthy-looking and sun kissed bronzed skin. Long black hair shined in perfect behaved waves cascading down from the top of his head to the juncture where his shoulders met his neck, handsome features completed by bushy eyebrows framing delicate hazel eyes, a strong nose, luscious lips and a face clean of bothersome beards, which elevated his already high status in her opinion.

"That's Cassian, our CEO." Nuala said. "He used to reside in Cali, personally managed the franchise there, but I think he's moving here now that his brother is back in the country."

Nuala went on about his brother, saying lots of uninteresting stuff she’d learned since his return, classic office gossip. Elain didn’t listen to a single thing, didn’t care about it at all, worrying simple about retaining the import part of the conversation.

That's Cassian. That's Cassian. That's Cassian. That's Cassian. That's Cassian. That's Cassian.

Elain twirled a curl in her finger. In one day, she snagged a good paying gig and a Greek god of a crush, what a sweet deal. Feeling giddy, she set up her equipment and began her work. The day was perfect. Nuala coworkers were kind, the models were amazing, the clothes were stunning, the lighting was on point and Elain was confident she would deliver a perfect book. Soon her bliss was interrupted. The brother, who she found uninteresting and didn’t care to learn a thing about, and who also happened to be Nuala’s immediate boss, decided he had nothing better to do than micromanaging her the entire day. The man was so annoying he managed to purge the Cassian-induced-bliss from her mind, only thoughts of strangling Azriel with her camera’s safety strap remaining.  

At first, she tried to be polite, keep it professional, be considerate of his direction without changing her style too much.

"Mr. Marino, I've been a professional photographer for four years, I know what I'm doing."

"Ms. Archeron, take my lead. I have more years in this industry than you have of life,”

“Really? Your age doesn’t show at all.” She interrupted, looking him up and down. Elain hated condescending people.

Azriel glared at her.

“I don’t like this pose. Emilia's dress looks blurry."

"I asked her to sway the dress to help capture the skirt’s details. I want to showcase the multicolor peacock feathers." She explained patiently.

"Yes, and by doing that I get a blur in the upper half.” Azriel tapped his pen aggressively on the computer screen where the photos were simultaneously displayed as she took them. The staff girl sitting by the computer – a young-looking thing, still fresh with pimples in the face – paled, her distress making Elain take a deep, deep breath.

Don’t forget Nuala works here, she reminded herself, keep cool. Do it for her.

"Mr. Marino, these are a rough idea of the result, not the result.”

“I don’t want my cover dripping with photoshop.” He objected.

“It won’t be. I guarantee you the photos I'll place in your hands will be perfect. You just have to trust me, trust me and let me do my job."

Azriel managed to back up for the total of two seconds before he started nagging and disturbing her again. Worse, the bastard screamed at her. Screamed.

“Can’t you to do your job right?”

Elain didn’t think she was getting paid enough to put up with that. She exploded, responding him with the same sweet tone.

"Can’t you take that stick out of your ass and let me take the goddamn pictures?" She nearly busted a vein in her forehead, but boy was it worth it.

"Excuse me?" Azriel said in a lethal quiet tone.

"Nuala!" Someone yelped, trying to grab her before her body hit the ground.

Later, Elain would learn her friend passed out for a second, hallucinating the words “you are fired” blinking in capital letters in front of her face. Right now she was too busy having a staring contest with an impossible man to care for her friend’s mental state.

"You are excuse! Now get out of my set." Elain pointed to the backdoor.

Azriel exhaled, making an incredulous sound, looking a lot more like a maniac than he had earlier.

"Are you high? This is not your set, Archeron, this is my set."

"Well, I'm the goddamn photographer, without me there's no cover, so right now this is my set. I suggest you shut up and let me work, or get out. Preferable, get out."

The studio was deadly quiet after that, they could cut the tension in that place with a knife. In retrospect, Elain may have stepped a tiny-itsy-bitsy out of the line, which was totally not her fault, at all. I mean, no one likes to work with an overbearing person breathing down your neck... The mood only improved when Cassian sauntered over to solve the dispute.

"Wow, wow, wow. Let's calm down, you two are making my models tenser than a virgin’s bun in a brothel’s brunch.”

Elain held her laugh. Azriel groaned loudly, pinching the bridge of his nose, mumbling something along the lines of, "...one more harassing complain because of these stupid puns…”

Cassian slapped his shoulder so hard he budged an inch. "Az, chill out man. We don't have the luxury of losing another photographer." He whispered to his brother.

Turns out Elain was the sixth professional they called to solve the cover mess. All the previous photographers ran away for being yelled at, or quitted in minutes… for being yelled at.

"And you, little miss hot overalls. Standing up to the big man, I like that.” Cassian winked at her, a charming smile stretching over his face. “What is your name again, sweety?"

"Elain,” she answered a little harshly, still worked up from the conflict. “Elain Archeron."

“Lovely Elain, who came all the way from my dreams to save us in this dire situation.”

“Oh, for the love of God,” Azriel groaned from somewhere, but Elain only had eyes for Cassian, who was kissing the back of her hand, making her red in the face for a whole different reason.

"A pleasure, my darling. I'm Cassian Marino, your faithful slave."

He wrapped a heavy arm around her shoulder, turning her away from Azriel, ready to goad her with soft words and pleasantry.

"You see, Elain, my brother here is acting like a stressed porcupine because he's worried about this month’s issue. We need the pics asap, and as you know, since you are a very fine skilled photographer yourself, they need to be treated before we can print anything. I’ll let you in on secret because you are a pretty girl.” He glued his lips to her ear making her shiver all over. Her fighting fire extinguished instantly. “My brother is a tad egocentric, he thinks he’s the only one who can do things the correct way, but I know you'll delivery us killer pictures, won’t you honey?”

“Of course.” She had conviction in her ability to do a good job.

“Of course. You do look like a girl who is a pro where hand jobs are involved.” Cassian pretended to be clicking an invisible camera, giving her a shameless wink. Elain giggled. Actually giggled. “You won't let this issue get delay, will you, lovely Elain?

"No." She said smiling, turning serious once his obnoxious brother was in her line of sight again. "But he needs to let me work, I do not need his constant directions.  I know what I’m doing. He’s breathing down my neck since I got here, acting stricter than a virgin’s father in a sausage fest.”

Cassian stopped leaning on her shoulder to lean on his brother’s, his hearty laugh lifting her spirits. "I like her. Can we keep her?” A flush spread over her cheeks. He said he liked her. Cassian looked at her from over his shoulder. “Do your job bella, I’ll take the prude father. Come on, let the girl enjoy her sausage fest in peace.”

And her job she did. All it took for her to finished the shoot and deliver the treated photos in time was Azriel stopping being a stick in her ass. Elain handed him stunning photos and a viral cover, thank you very much

See? That’s why she liked handsome, good-humored men, with sunny smiles and braze personality. They were natural problem solvers, had that especial ability to make her feel sublime. Contrary to handsome, snarky, control freaks who nitpicked every single detail of, well, everything.

Oh, what an irony that said good-humored man was somewhere near, but she was in a locked embrace with the control freak, his snarky mouth kissing her so good her lids shut down, stars blowing up behind her them. A frail whimper escaped her, her body going lax, melting into the slow-deep-sugary-kiss that sent her sanity to the moon. Her insides burned like a supernova, and it goddamn long time to realize that it was for lack of oxygen. Azriel pulled away first, experiencing the same effect, dragging a much-earned mouthful of air in. To her utter shock, as he pushed back, Elain tried to chase after him.

The hand he had twisted in her hair stopped her from following, kept her at bay, his lips moving to a new caress that allowed them to breath. Elain found herself staring at the sky, where fireworks still popped, small kisses being peppered all over her jawline, then his lips dip lower the slightest fraction, just enough to touch the side of neck.

The contact with the galloping pulse on her neck gives them pause. Seems to wake him to the fact that he was about to manhandle her in an open backyard, where everyone could see. Seems to wake her to the fact that she wouldn't care if he did.

Azriel’s breath is erratic, out of control, his mind a whirlwind of chaos and something very unexpected; want. Want hits him out of nowhere. The reality of what he’s done doesn't seem to sink in properly. Slowly, he disentangles his fingers from her hair, putting distance between their bodies, the soft hand with manicured nails, that were twisting the front of his shirt, let him go, dropping back to her lap.

"Wow,” she mumbles.

Azriel looks for something to say. Anything.

"Feeling in love yet?" the words are barely out of his mouth before he’s making a constipated expression. Jesus, Cassianism was beginning to rub on him.

The insult doesn’t land quite right with his voice coming out way breathier than before. Shit. The kiss was supposed to be a provocation. Azriel intended to give her a peck and prove her so called 'resolution' was bullshit. Getting over people was way harder than kissing a nameless face on a whim. He knew that better than most. Azriel had looked at, and thought about, the same woman his entire life, even after breaking up numerous times. He tried to get her, of course. Over the years he went on mindless blind dates set up by his brother and friends, kissed a woman here and there, did his best to surpass the miserable cycle of breaking-up-getting-back-together-without-never-really-being-together he had going on with Morrigan during the entirety of his mid-twenties to his early thirties.

The problem was he could never prioritize any of these women over her. Could never prioritize himself either. He could count on the finger of one hand how many times he went on a second date with the same girl. His dates followed a pattern. He either didn’t click with them, or got back together with Mor before processing if he liked them. All it took was one crying phone call and, bang! Back to the mess. Another favorite of hers was cry and bang on his door till his neighbors were treating to call the police. If she happened to know he dared to go on a date, his phone would blow up till he picked up. Picked her up.

“You know I love Az, I really do, I never loved anyone in my life as I love you.”

Liar. She loved herself more.

“I can’t be in a public relationship, you know that. You know how misogynist this industry is. They want celebrities single and alone so they can fantasy about us in bed at night. If I go public with you my career is over. People will hate me for being loved by you.”

She was right about people’s misleading obsession with celebrities. Some of them might burn her pictorials to feel better or something idiotic like that, but they would calm down and forget about it. People were fickle like that. Nothing lasted long in this industry.

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t live without you. I rather die than live without you.”

From all of her veiled threats, these were the ones he hated the most. “Don’t say that.”

“It’s true. You know is true, you know I’m not strong to go on without you.”

Her crying ringed in his ears like a death melody. “I can’t be your lifeline forever, Mor.”

“Please, please, give me another chance. I’ll do better, I’ll talk to my manager, I’ll prepare him for the blow.”

He didn’t miss the wording she choose. The blow. Because he would destroy her career, the second thing she was passionate about the most in her life.

“He’ll come around. He’ll understand. People will forgive eventually, the industry will take me back later, it will all work out somehow. If I can’t be a model anymore, If I can’t… Please Az, please.”

It was the same old story, really. She will do this, she will do that, she will change, she will do better, she will be perfect, except she never did. She never changed. He was the one doomed to end up feeling an asshole in the few times he was able to say “no” to her, to stay broken up. During those times, misery reigned in his life even harder. He felt miserable for not giving her a chance, for turning his back on her, for not believing that she could better herself… Then he was the one knocking on her door, guilt guiding him back in her path.

Ten years went by like that. Time slipped away from his finger, the things he enjoyed weren’t so joyous anymore, the girl he loved only loved herself. One morning Azriel opened his eyes and the only thing he could feel was loneliness, he felt

so

fucking

lonely.

The loneliest he ever felt was being in a relationship.

Except he didn’t have a relationship.

He had a messy-something-ship, an anchor tied to his feet by a knot of his own making. It was only then he noticed he had no strength to keep doing that, because he had started to think about her like an anchor, a weight dragging him down, drowning his spirit, killing his soul. That day Azriel decided it was time to stop the cycle for good, even if it meant living miserably, feeling like a monster for abandoning her. It was better to live hating himself than hatting her. He could never hate her.

That’s why the want was so unexpected for him.

The moment he kissed Elain he felt the tingle of a little something trying to snap his attention, like a spark ready to burst. His lips sizzled, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up to attention, and when she snapped out of her daze to correspond, an electric current dispersed under his skin making him beaming with energy. But why now? Why her? What changed? Elain Archeron and him weren’t friends, calling themselves “coworkers” was the best way they found to keep civil. How could he be kissing this girl when they barely knew a thing about each other... Right? Feeling intrigued, Azriel began to catalog the things he knew about her.

Azriel met Elain through Nuala, one his most competent employees, who happens to be her best friend. She has been a photographer for five years now. She has two sisters who she won’t shut up about it; the MMA fighter and the Arts professor. She has a particularly keen eye for nocturnal shoots. She drives an old Honda with no electrical windows. She gets restless in long meetings and changes subject constantly mid conversation. She likes trashy movies with no real cinematic value. She likes floral collections, jeans overalls and gets extra giggly around latino models. She hardly drinks coffee. She likes to tell shitty jokes. She can curse him three different names under one minute. She can’t sing shit –but she will go up in a stage with so much confidence you’d think she can… And she has a ten feet fall for his brother.

Okay…

Maybe he knew a little bit more about her than he imagined. Azriel’s brain slowly began to work, a scheme cooking in the back of his mind. How far could he take this?

"Come on," he helped her up, careful to kick the beer bottles from the way to avoid her stumbling, fingers woven with hers as he dragged her towards the house.

"Where?

"Upstairs."

"Why?"

"I want to talk."

"We can talk here,"

Elain watched the back of his head moving from side to side.

"Too many people. I don't like people."

"I'm people!" She squeaked.

He stopped, looked at her, rolled his eyes, them kept going.

Elain gulped, a thick nervous lump forming in her throat. One minute they are kissing, the next he is taking her to a reserved place because he wants to talk? Jesus H. Christ and all the saint who are in heaven.

Suspicion trashed against her ribs. He probably didn’t mean talk, talk, right? She may be relatively new to the fashion industry, but Nuala wasn’t. Elain had heard all about the conversations people like him liked to have in events like this. About the luxurious parties thrown so the rich and famous could mingle without a care in the world, about people locking themselves in a room that did not belong to them to get nasty in someone's sheets. Her heart trashed as she tried to categorize this party. Was this a party, or a party party? This wasn’t, by all means, a super fancy event. Cerridwen, Nuala’s twin and a model, liked to host New Year’s for her close friends and family, and their close friends and family. Elain saw models and designers toasting here and there, but a lot of familiar faces who regularly worked backstage were here as well. Before she could decide her answer, Elain was back to the same bathroom where she had a pity party earlier.

Really? He liked bathroom quickies? How distasteful.

A key twisted inside the lock, the noise ringing loud in her ears.

What kind of panties was she wearing again?

Azriel reared her back till her ass touched the sophisticated marble sink. Elain eyed the facial liquid soap hastily dropped on the sink, judging her. Judging for rage-washing her face because Cassian was dating, only to be locked in here with his brother in the same night. His brother. His blood. Oh my. What was Azriel thinking dragging her up here? Did he think they would do it because they kissed? Was he all about one-nights like his brother claimed to be until yesterday? No, no, no, no. Elain never had a one-night, and she didn’t intend to start now!... or did she?

The predator stepped in front of her, fingers hooking in the belt loops of her shorts. Up and down he went, feeling the machine-made needlework.

“Listen,” he began.

She panicked and pressed her palms to his chest

"Ican'thavesexwithyou!" there. She said it. She dropped the bomb.

Azriel lifted his gaze.

"What?"

"What?"

She doubted the man ever looked more spooked. "You think I want to have sex in a disgusting bathroom?”

Eyebrows rising, Elain scanned the bathroom. Pristine white tiles, watercolor on the wall, fresh towels folded in square cabinets, a toilet so shiny it reflected their distorted legs, mirrors without a spec of tooth paste. Nope, this man has no idea of what “disgusting” stands for.

"Are you a germophobe?" She smiled at him sweetly.

"Are you a pervert?" Her smile dropped. Elain hoped he was a germophobe, the biggest germophobe in the planet! She would lick something of his everyday just to spite him.

Azriel rubbed his temple, mumbling, "worse than Cass, swear to God…" then he said, "nevermind that. To be clear, I am not trying to have sex with you."

"Why not?"

Elain crossed her arms over her chest, offended. Why wouldn't he want to have sex with her? She was a healthy, young, pretty and independent woman. What a joke, this man. This lousy idiot wouldn't recognize a catch if she sat on his face.

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

Did she? I mean, till tonight she never thought about him as man, never bothered to look at him twice, not when his brother was right there beside him, trading jokes with her, touching her when he laughed, flexing so she could feel his biceps. Her mind was all Cassian till Azriel kissed his presence known, making Elain swiftly comb through their previous interaction to see if this was a thing brewing. It wasn't. Calling him by his first name was the extent of their proximity.

"No." She said at last.

"That's why."

Azriel shook his head in disbelief. He was bewildered to be having such a ridiculous discussion, in a ridiculous place. Sex! In a stranger’s bathroom, for fuck sakes. See? This is why he avoided interacting with her outside of work-related functions. Elain Archeron had a way to shatter his rationality, sucking him right into the crazy wonderland where her mind resided, instigating him to act as childish as her. Azriel ruffled his hair. Well, he might as well get used to it if he was really going to do what he was thinking about doing.

"Okay. Here goes nothing, Archeron." He breathed in and out. "We had a thing," Who? "Morrigan and I. It was messy, complicated and no one knows about. And no one needs to know about it. Got it?"

"Got it... Wait a minute, you messing with your brother's girlfriend?!??" His voice had hit an all-time low, but Elain could not help but yelp. His hand flew to cover her mouth, a large sexy hand which managed to spam half her face with easy. "How dared you! Your own brother!" She screeched behind his palm.

"I said, had, past tense. If you wanna get technical about it, he's the one messing with my girl... Ex-girl…" a pensive pause later, he added, "well, she was never really mine, but that story is long and boring and I'm not sure your slug brain can follow before I sober up and shut down."

Elain pried her face free. "Are you insulting me?"

"Dunno. Am I?" Azrile smirked, cleaning his hand in his pants.

"Don't insult me, or I’ll lick you up." She threatened. "Why are you telling me this anyway? You hate me!"

At that, he frowned. "Why would I hate you?"

"Believe me, I've been asking myself the same thing." The v between his brown deepened.

"I don't hate you, Archeron."

"The way you treat me tells another story, Marino." She emphasized his last name the way he did hers. "Admit it, we did nothing but fight from day one."

"Because you are a confrontational little goblin who keeps fronting me. I'm your superior, you should do as I tell you, not try to freestyle in work as you do in other parts of your life."

Elain turned her head to the side. Just because he was making sense, doesn't mean he had to agree with him.

"Nothing I do is good enough for your pompous taste. I can deliver a perfect set and you'll still find a way to be displeased."

Azriel paused, comprehension striking him like a lightning. "Is this about the wine ad?”

"Of course, this is about the wine ad. That concept was perfect and you know it!"

Roughly five months ago, Nuala had pitched the perfect concept to spicy up their issue: mixing the photoshoot of Bela Gio's new collection with a wine ad for an expensive cabernet. Elain found her friend’s insight brilliant, because the collection was centered on the color wine. Unfortunately, the idea was mercilessly shut down by Azriel.

“I’m disappointed with you, Nuala. You, of all people, should be past pitching stupid suggestions. Do me a favor, don't waste my time unless you have a real idea.”

The briefing room froze. The bastard was so cold, he killed her friend's fire for days. There was no reason for such a crass rejection, especially not in front of the team. When not even the good old pizza-and-romcom-night was enough to restore her friend’s spirit, Elain lost it. Next thing she knew, Elain was doing want any good photographer would do in that situation; trying to convince her client he secretly wanted the posing tips he thought he didn't. In this case, the posing tips were the concept.

“Azriel can be narrowminded. He’ll come around once he sees your idea is solid.”

“You sure?”

“Positive!”

They secretly worked after hours – in her free time, mind you – preparing a low budget demo that showcased all the charm of the idea. Bella Gio's collection had already came in anyway, all her pieces stored in the usual room on the 11th floor, draped in protective plastic, waiting for the day of the official shoot. Cerridwen accepted being their demo-model, cost free, and Elain spent a copious amount of hours editing their scenario, glamoring the white sheets away. Honestly, the three of them deserved an ad award for pulling that off!

Azriel, however, had a different idea about their heist and what they deserved for it. The man went bonkers. The man was livid. The man nearly popped a vein in his neck from screaming! He excused Nuala after a hard sermon, but Elain...Oh boy.

Elain he kept to torture, drilling on her like a qualified spymaster who slaughtered his victims with half-blunt tools.

“This was your idea, wasn’t it? No, don’t bother denying, I can recognize your thumb all over this from a mile away!”

"… I don’t think you have the smallest clue of how idiotic that was,"

"...had damaged any one of those pieces. God forbidden they leaked somehow, the shit storm you'd drop on my lap!”

“… idiot, stupid delusion, when I clearly told you not to do it…”

"Ms. Gio could sue you for this fucking mess, she could sue this entire department! The fucking company going down in shambles…"

"...don’t know how you’d deal with getting your coworkers fired, this magazine going under, because you could not accept the idea was bad…”

"moronic attempt to be a hero, you had to swipe in,"

"... newbie who seems to have learned nothing about trademark in her life!”

Elain thought he would never stop. No one should be able to scream that long without needing a water break, it was inhumane. Truth be told, she felt really hurt and upset in the beginning, but as the minutes went on, Elain began to actually feel impressed with how many different ways he came up to call her an “idiot” in forty-five minutes. That’s how long he pierced her eardrum. Forty-five perpetual minutes.

At last he said, "Get out of my office,” all red in the face, tie loose and crumpled around his neck from a moment where he was probably imagining strangling her, but redirected his anger to the piece of fabric in time. Elain was more than happy to disappear from his sight – and maybe never come back. Yeah, she should scram from that office all together.

“Archeron.” Her hand paused on the doorknob. Yelling sure was tiring, because Azriel sounded less hostile now, as if he regained the smallest semblance of control over his emotions. "This was extremely irresponsible. Don't do this again.”

"Don't do this again." Elain mocked in the present, the memory of that awful day triggering her urge to punch him. She had that urge a lot. "You never apologized, by the way." She refused to meet his eyes. "You never apologized for yelling at me like that."

“I didn’t.”

“You did not.”

"Well, I'm sorry... I’m sorry that you can’t follow a simple order."

That’s it.

Elain attacked quick as a serpent, years of cat-fighting her sisters flashing before her eyes as her hands flew around his neck, ready to strangle the life out of him. Unfortunately, she only managed to get a good hard squeeze before he grabbed her wrists, immobilizing her there. Next thing she knew, he was meeting her hostile glare.

"I’m sorry I yelled at you. I should have handled that better, but I didn’t. I sorry for lashing out. Listen, there are dozens of agreements going on behind a Collab like that, contracts signed to protect a stylist's hard work, to protect our work, our magazine. Fifty-four Marinos employees could lose their jobs in the blink of eye if things turned south that day, do you understand that?” Elain tried to find an occasion where he spoke so patiently and calmly with her before. She came back empty handed. "I know you have knowledge gaps because fashion was not your passion, but it is mine. I know photographing weddings and anniversaries gave you more liberty,”

"I also did graduations." She interrupted softly, unable to shut up, but slightly off game in face of this new soft-spoken side of him.

The corner of his lip tuned up. Azriel was actually mildly surprise she waited so long to cut him. It was unlike her to know how to stay quiet.

"Weddings, anniversaries and graduation.” He corrected himself. “Got it.”

"And sports event,"

"…And sports event,"

"And occasional swingers nudebooks." At that, he reared back.

"Occasional what?"

"Oh, you know, it's when swingers schedule a little rendezvous and want a couple of pictures as memento. They hire a photographer, strip naked, get down to it, and we,” she wiggled her hands free, pretending to hold an invisible camera, clicking the imaginary button on top. Azriel turned pale in the face. Suddenly, Elain's body begins to shake with laughter. "I'm just fucking with you."

Suffocated, Azriel popped the first button of his shirt open, his blood pressure was reaching an all-time high.

“What am I even doing here,” he wondered out loud.

Why did he pulled her aside in the first place? Having a serious conversation with this girl was impossible. Azriel cursed his imagination for giving into her provocation and wandering into weird territory. He had no interest in thinking about a swingers party, even a fake one.

“You were apologizing to me," she says.

“No, I don't think that was it,”

“You were. You were telling me to give up my amazing creativity in order to fit in this tight-ass system. Sounded like a weird apology to me, but you are a weird man, so it adds up."

His head falls against her neck, a rumbling groan heating her skin. Azriel doesn't know if wants to strangle or kiss her into silencing. A kiss or two could to wonders to shut her up, she looked much prettier with that mouth opening to house his tongue instead of spouting nonsense. He kissed the spot where her pulse beat, surprised to found himself enjoying the way she shivered in his arms.

“Your creativity is welcome when we work with flexible people, not with someone as intransigent as Gio.”

Elain pulls his face up, smiling sweetly as she brings him closer to whisper, “don't yell at me anymore, it is not professional nor required, and I'll punch you square in the nose if you do it."

"Deal."

They shake on it.

"My sister is an MMA fighter, so you can bet your ass she taught me how to punch."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Satisfied with the apology Elain moves to the door, Azriel pulling her back by the arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Eeerh, back to the party?"

"I haven't said what I wanted."

"Are you kidding me? You talked so much! Honestly, I don't think I ever heard you talk this much, for a second there was I worries you'd turn the Shakespeare on,"

"Listen, I have a proposition to you." Taking a page from her book, Azriel interrupts her and talk, spilling the words fast, before the courage leaves him. "You want to get over my brother, and I want to get over her," her name gets stuck on his throat, the midnight kiss she shared with his brother burned on his lids. “I hate to admit, but that crazy talk about a lover might be exactly what I need to move on. What we need. So, instead of doing weird things with strangers, let's help each other, let's date and move on."

Elain is speechless, her mind blank. His words are rushed, but honest, the sincerity in his voice fascinating her. A sea of hazel invades her sight as he seeks her gaze, apprehension burning in her walls.

Azriel changes his weight from one foot to the other, the silence is uncharacteristic to her, it unsettles him.

"Date me, Elain." He repeats. "Date me and I'll date you."

Calling her name is a low move. He never called her name. She'd always known he had a sexy voice with that rough baritone thing going on, but that voice saying her name does things to her.

Date me, Elain. Date me, Elain. Date me, Elain. Date me, Elain. Date me, Elain. Date me, Elain.

"Why - why me?" She asks with a small voice, fingers clutching to the material of the shirt above his shoulders. "You say you don't hate me, but you don't like me either. We are not friends."

She was right, they were not friends. Friends didn’t kiss like that. They were past being friends.

"I'm not my brother, I don't like one-nights, it's impersonal and I detest strangers in my space. It's hard for me to connect with people I don't know. You, I know you - you get on my nerves, but that’s just who you are as a person, I've learned to live with that. And kissing you,’’ he touches her lips, “I enjoyed kissing you more than I anticipated.”

Elain swallows dry, the insult flying over her head. She enjoyed kissing him too.

Warm lips land on her cheek, the sweetest of kisses imprinted there, then another one, closer to the corner of her mouth, sharp teeth pinching her skin next, the amorous bite making all kinds of forbidden images flash in her mind. Christ.

"You said to do different, right?" She agrees silently. "Could you imagine me having a heart-to-heart, in a filthy bathroom, with you, of all people?"

Nope. Never in a million years.

"This is me doing different." He kisses the other side of her face, making Elain unsteady on her feet as she processes what is happening, the monumental proposal turning her lightheaded and astonished.

So, by Azriel's logic, the woman he used to see was dating Cassian, who Elain wanted to start seeing, and since his not-girlfriend stole Elain's future-boyfriend, Elain would now steal her ex-boyfriend – or almost boyfriend – and they would embark in this crazy romance to move on from their failed lovers?!

Was that it?

Jesus.

On his side the situation made a bit more sense, she supposed. For him, Elain was a new girl in the equation, completely unrelated to his old flame, but for her… did he really expected her to trade brothers like that? Swap bodies and keep the last name and all would be good and right in the world? Who, in their sane mind, would try to get over a man with his brother?

“So. What do you say?” Azriel asked expectantly.

Good question.

What did she say?

Sweet mother of God.

What in the Freaky Friday nonsense was going on!

[darkmermaidao3]

Clarity Chapter Four (Bonten Sanzu)

Minors do not interact (18+fic)

Warnings: Gang activity, mentions of drugs, guns mentions of prostitution, violence, thoughts premeditated murder, manipulation, coercion, thoughts of ownership, thoughts of possession. Possibly more that I may have missed.

Paragraphs in italics are flashbacks, the text color will be pink!

He inhaled a sharp breath through clenched teeth, his free hand pressing against his side where he’d taken the most recent damage, and although he absolutely had to get a move on to escape from the enemy, he dared not take a single step, leaning his head back against the wall of the alley while he waited. Bonten’s number two couldn’t recall just how many times he’d been hit with how many gunshots had rung out since this all began but one thing was for certain, his body was going to either go into shock or he was going to bleed out if he couldn’t patch himself up relatively soon. He already felt the effects catching up to him, his adrenaline had kept him going this long but it wouldn’t for very much longer, his body was already starting to shake, the gun trembling in his hand.

‘Damn it.’

The pink-haired male knew he was in the worst position he could be in right now; everything had gone entirely leftfield to hell in a handbasket at the drop of a hat and it wasn’t looking like things would get any better. His phone was fucked and wouldn’t be of any use to him since it’d taken a bullet, he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of his fellow executives and didn’t know if they’d managed to get away or had been cornered. He only had a single shot left if he remembered right, no clips and his extra handgun was in the glove compartment of the car that he’d never see again should he live through this day, he couldn’t get to any of their safehouses without transportation. The rest of Bonten didn’t have a clue what had transpired and the only chance they had was if either the Haitani Brothers had gotten out a phone call or text for assistance, or if Koko put two and two together when the estimated time of arrival came and went without contact from them but by then, it’d be too late; he’d never imagined the day going this way.

‘Those pricks won’t take me alive.’

If it came down to it, he’d use his last shot on himself, he wasn’t going to be tortured into giving the enemy anything that they could use against Bonten and he’d protect Mikey with his last breath no matter what it meant for him; everything he’d ever done was for the benefit of the king and if his death would do the same, it was what he’d had to do. He wasn’t going to jump the gun just yet, he’d hold out as long as he was capable until he had no other choice, but he had to make sure he didn’t waste this shot until then, his priority right now was to escape somewhere he’d be capable of hiding out then patching himself up once he was safe. The man side-glanced through the pink partially obscuring his face at the sound of multiple rushed footsteps, keeping himself hidden in the darkness the buildings provided to the alley, watching with bated breath as a small mob of enemies bolted passed his hiding spot without so much as a glance.

‘Trash.’

Sanzu could make out a slur of various statements being thrown out there, all of which supporting that the scum believed he’d head off towards the southside of the city and it gave him an opportunity, he had to find somewhere to go before he lost the small window he’d been given. His head lolled just barely in the other direction, no signs of any enemies, he eased himself away from the brick and took silent steps towards the end. He needed to move faster but at the same time, he had to be cautious since he was unsure just how much damage he’d taken, more bullets had buried themselves in his flesh than had passed through and gone out the other side; he didn’t know if any of his vitals had been hit.

‘Phone.’

If he could break into a building that had a phone, he’d be able to get in contact with the others, he knew Mikey’s number by heart and even if he didn’t answer, he knew his boss well enough to know he listened to every single voicemail as soon as he received it. Their people would swarm the area and take out the scum, find the Haitani Brothers before the worst happened and if he didn’t bleed out before then, get him to their physician to be patched the rest of the way up; all he had to do was find a fucking phone, he’d never thought he’d have to rely on a landline again. He had to get it in gear, his head felt groggy and vision was off, he was beginning to lose the battle against his crashing adrenaline, so he had to make these next few minutes count. His lips pressed into a thin line, his piercing eyes darting from one side of the street to the other, ensuring that there wasn’t another soul around before taking in the various buildings in his bleary line of sight. He was struggling to read the signs, maintaining his focus long enough to do so was growing more difficult as the milliseconds ticked by, his head turning in all directions more times than he was aware of until he abandoned it altogether, sliding around the corner with intentions of going into the first nonresidential building he came across. He couldn’t dawdle around any longer, he was losing coordination and each of his steps felt unsteady, the lightheadedness trying to overpower the little adrenaline he had left.

‘Shit.’

He could’ve slew out a number of curses in frustration when he lost his balance just enough that his shoulder collided into a door, a hiss leaving his lips instead as his head swiveled around…a clinic. His hand fumbled to find the doorknob, fully prepared to shoot the lock off and could’ve breathed a sigh of relief when it turned without resistance; some idiot had left it unlocked after the day came to an end and there was zero chance that anyone was in there at eleven pm. Sanzu pushed open the door without hesitation, stumbling inside and slammed it shut behind him without a second thought, turning the lock to bolt. Find a phone, call Mikey, patch himself up as best he could while he waited for their people and-

‘Fucking shit.’

His hand rose without skepticism, even without his vision being in the best spot, he wasn’t so far gone that he couldn’t see what was very clearly a person on the other side of the room, lavender staring back at him. He stone-faced no sooner did the eyes meet his, his hand may have been shaking but he wasn’t going to show any fear, he’d shoot without remorse regardless of not being in the best shape. His finger moved to the trigger at the sound of a single step, and he managed to blink away the blurriness long enough that he could make out the face those eyes belonged to.

“I-I’m a doctor.”

A woman.

“Hi, Midori-san.”

As melancholy as Sanzu felt during the time he’d been drifting in and out of sleep from the heavenly embrace of morphine, the sound of her voice had stirred him enough that he’d completely forgotten what he’d been thinking about previously, if he’d been thinking about anything at all. It was difficult to keep track of how much time was passing from the state that he was in, no sooner would the opiate’s effects begin to lessen, she was right there at his side, pushing a dose into the IV and the effect was immediate; she was clearly doing so every four hours on the dot since he hadn’t been in ungodly pain since he’d first awoken however long ago. His eyes fluttered half open, immediately zeroing in on the petite figure across the room.

“I’m so sorry to bother you…”

Her name was Ikeda Yuki, she’d introduced herself once before, the plaques scattered around the office space were engraved with her name and had kept it from slipping from his mind, she was a doctor and apparently, she’d saved his life.

“…I know you’re probably busy with the children…”

He wasn’t sure what her deal was, why she’d gone out of her way to save him, especially after he’d tried to shoot her, but he wasn’t going to get any answers about that any time soon, if ever. As soon as he could move around without putting himself and the stiches at risk, he was out of this place, it wasn’t looking like it’d be as soon as he wanted with the rate he was healing.

“…And I hate calling on your day off…”

He hadn’t spoken a damn word to her aside from when he’d told her his blood type and she wasn’t pushing for him to speak to her, she hadn’t seemed to know who he was, nor asked him anything about himself, if she wasn’t asking if he was in pain then she was quiet most of the time. He’d watched her practically the whole time he’d been in her presence since he didn’t have anything better to do and she almost always had her laptop in front of her, her slender fingers typing away at a rapid speed, her doe eyes flittering over the words as she typed them out; she had a habit of rolling her lip between her teeth when she wasn’t typing, which told him that was when she was thinking deeply.

“…I’ve just been thinking about what you said…”

She was certainly young to be a doctor and looked as though she could be his age, most were still in university if they chose to attend but she’d already established herself. She was in her early twenties at the most and with the number of plaques situated around her office, she wasn’t just freshly out of university, she’d been in the medical field for some time and even he found that to be impressive. She’d referred to this building as her clinic, meaning that she’d opened it herself and that was even more impressive than just being a young doctor.

“…You know…”

His aquamarine orbs found her face, not bothering with subtlety while they raked over her form, she wasn’t going to notice since she was so engrossed in her phone call and even if she did, he knew what her reaction would be.

“…About how I’m pushing myself too hard…”

She was petite and delicate, just barely five foot tall, she didn’t wear heels and had been walking around the office space in just her knee-high socks, the babydoll dress falling halfway down her thighs; she’d been wearing something more business casual the night they unexpectedly met, along with a white coat that signified she was a doctor. She kept her hair loosely pulled up in a claw clip, the shorter strands framing her heart shaped face, more snow-colored strands hanging free the further into the day it got until she would finally remove the clip and when she did, that halo of white would fall almost to her hips. Her doe eyes were a shade of lavender surrounded by dark lashes, her skin a lighter ivory color and pretty pink lips; he could already imagine just how quickly the Haitani Brothers would’ve tried to jump on her.

“…So, I was thinking…”

Not only were they shit out of luck, but he’d already seen plenty enough that he could have a considerable amount of fun with the doctor depending on how long it’d take for him to fucking heal. She was a shy little thing, blushing at the drop of a hat, gentle voice and soft expressions forming on her pretty face, the total opposite to the types of women he’d seen day in and day out since Bonten had made it to the top. He couldn’t count the number of times pink had risen on her cheeks when she noticed him staring at her, holding his gaze despite the shyness reflecting in her lavender pools, only to tear her eyes away (this last time she’d made it twenty-three seconds) and go back to whatever she’d been doing before she’d caught him eye-fucking her without regret. 

“…That if you and the rest of the staff were alright with it…”

Regardless of if he decided to indulge in a game of cat and mouse with the pretty little doctor, he was going to kill her before it was all said and done, he very well couldn’t risk her telling anyone about him after he left, news of one of Bonten’s executives being shot up couldn’t be public knowledge; he could only imagine the aggravation that would come from that.

“…I wanted to close the clinic until next week…”

‘…hm?’

His eyes fluttered the rest of the way open, his head tilting against the pillows with interest as he watched her, she’d been walking the same path on the other side of the room during the time that she’d been on her phone call, circling her desk and he hadn’t realized until now that there was a reason for it. She paced when she was anxious and needed to gather her thoughts, to keep herself levelheaded and even with the worried expression on her face, her voice hadn’t faltered, maintaining both composure and professionalism. He was curious what she was going to follow up with, he hadn’t been listening up until now and had only registered her voice filling the dead silence.

“…I know it’s sudden and I’m sorry for asking out of the blue like this but…” the woman spoke; she paused, listening intently to whatever the person on the other end of the call was saying. “I’m more than happy to compensate everyone for the rest of the week…Midori-san, it wouldn’t feel right of me to just expect all of you to go that long without pay.”

‘How noble. What will you do next, Doctor? Solve world hunger?’

“I understand that you all want me to take a vacation but…” she continued, sounding reluctant to agree to whatever the other woman was saying to her; she bowed her head, her free hand pinching the bridge of her nose. “Yes, yes alright…of course, we’ll reopen Monday.”

It seemed that she didn’t want anyone to know about him either and that should be enough time for him to be at a point where he could walk out of there on his own, leave no trace of himself behind after he snapped her neck or strangled her; no one would be able to tie anything to him or to Bonten.

“Thank you, Midori-san. Please let the rest of the staff know for me.” The female requested, her voice earnest; her head rose from her hand, moving it back to brush strands of white away from her face and turned, pausing mid-step when her lavender pools found his aquamarine ones.

‘How long will you make it this time?’

Exactly eight seconds of staring at each other before a light pink hue rose on her cheeks, it was almost impossible to hold back the smirk threatening to form on his lips when fifteen had passed before it was streaking over her cheeks and nose, the worried expression she’d held for the whole of her conversation swapping out to bashful by twenty-one, all for her to look away shyly by twenty-seven.

‘Shy little thing, aren’t you Doctor?’

“Thank you, goodbye.”

Sanzu wasn’t even sure that she’d waited for a response unless the woman on the other end had said goodbye before her, the phone was hardly away from her ear before her thumb tapped at the screen and she placed it on the desk, her head just barely turning back in his direction, her cheeks flushing darkly. He couldn’t not indulge at this point, he’d have so much more fun with her once he could move without putting himself at risk and from her behavior, she wouldn’t make a single attempt to stop any of his advances, she was much too timid for that.

“Are um…you in pain?” she questioned, her voice expressing concern; despite how bashful she was over his constant staring, she was always capable of pushing it off to the side when it came to her profession.

He didn’t say a word, still observing her just as intensely as he’d been since he’d come to minutes previously and she threw a glance towards her laptop before turning her attention back to him, the blush on her cheeks still going strong.

“I’ll um, get you another dose.” She spoke with traces of worry; she didn’t bother waiting for responses anymore since he’d made it obvious that he didn’t plan on speaking to her, simply checking the time before disappearing for a few short minutes to grab what she needed, sometimes she’d come back with a cup of coffee in her free hand. 

Again, he didn’t speak or even acknowledge her with a nod, following her movements as she crossed the floor of the office to slip out of the room, but not before throwing another glance over her shoulder at him. No one had ever looked at him as intensely as she did unless they were on the receiving end of his blade or gun, the whores too afraid to look him in the eye even being on cloud nine. She truly didn’t seem to know who he was nor what he was capable of, otherwise there was fat chance she’d maintain composure as she did with how reserved her demeanor was, she hadn’t hesitated once around him aside from her clear embarrassment over the way he watched her. His favorite instance had to of been the night prior, he’d woken up in the early hours of the morning to find her passed out on her belly on the couch a few feet away from him, her snow-colored hair a disheveled mess and barely audible breathes leaving her pretty lips. He was unsure just how much time passed while he watched her, observing how long the pause was in between her breathes, the movement of her chest rising and falling beneath her, eyeing the subtle shifting of her dress climbing higher up her legs with every shift of her body, his eyes raking over every small dip and curve in his line of sight.

She was unlike the women he’d grown used to seeing on a day-to-day basis, as high class and beautiful as most of them were, they were whores, nonetheless, willingly offering themselves to whoever would pay their rate and pretend to enjoy the pathetic bastards that wouldn’t last longer than two minutes in their cunts. There was no lying that the doctor was breathtakingly beautiful, her eyes holding an innocence on the opposite end of the spectrum to the women in the hostess clubs, she was the definition of pure in not only her pretty face, but her profession of saving lives out of the goodness of her heart. 

‘The next Mother Teresa.’

As ridiculous as he found that shit, it wasn’t a stretch that’s who she truly was as a person, he hadn’t noticed any signs or gotten any inclination that she was putting on a front. Even in her most vulnerable state when she’d awoken during the time that he’d been watching her, her persona hadn’t swapped out to something else and was consistent with the behavior he’d observed thus far from her. Her doe eyes groggy and filled with sleep as she slowly regained consciousness at the sound of the alarm she’d set previously, soft moans coming from her that told of just how sleepy she still was while she struggled to come to. It was the sole moment he hadn’t been capable of holding back, the hint of a smirk on his lips over the pretty sounds she made, dropping precisely at the moment her head lolled up to meet his stare, the befuddled expression on her face swapping to one of shyness when their eyes met. It’d thrown her off just enough that she hadn’t moved from the couch for close to five minutes, simply staring right back at him and dropping her eyes bashfully every few seconds before she pulled herself together enough to scamper out of the room to retrieve a dose of morphine.

‘Actually knows what in the fuck she’s doing.’

She may have been shy but she’d done a much better job with his care than Bonten’s current physician would’ve done, the man was a complete fool and the only reason he’d even been brought on was because Akashi had taken it upon himself to find them a doctor and given the bastard the job before talking to Mikey about it; he didn’t know how in the fuck that old man was still breathing after pulling shit like that. If she wasn’t a woman, he probably would’ve considered speaking to the king about replacing that guy when he made it back to headquarters but there was zero chance that a pretty little thing like her would’ve made it a week without being harassed, let alone been able to handle being in a criminal organization with how soft natured she was; it was a shame, she was skilled and knew what she was doing. She obviously had a variety of medications and such in stock since she was giving him morphine for pain, not to mention she’d performed surgery on him without him ever knowing so she had high class drugs in her possession, along with top-of-the-line equipment. 

She would’ve been immensely valuable to them but none of the executives had time to babysit, and he couldn’t trust that Akashi wouldn’t fuck up because that’s all the fucker knew how to do. He couldn’t trust that any of the lower ranked scum wouldn’t harm the woman and they wouldn’t have been able to spare an executive to constantly watch over her, they wouldn’t have been able to trust anyone else to do so with integrity. Kakucho would’ve been the best choice since he took his orders seriously, but it wouldn’t be possible since he was constantly taking care of the face and public aspects of Bonten. Koko would’ve been next, but he was always too focused on finding ways to rake in more money every single day and forever had his face buried in his phone, looking into different investment opportunities so it was unlikely he’d even pay attention to her. Neither of the Haitani were even an option, the pair of them would most certainly compete against each other on which of them could seduce the woman first and they didn’t need that kind of shit going on right now, especially after the last instance with that female lawyer. He wouldn’t even include Mocchi in the running, he was almost as useless as Akashi. As second in command and Mikey’s shadow, he already had an abundance of duties to attend to on a regular basis so that was that; he’d just have to kill her.

‘What a shame.’

It was, a mind like hers would’ve been so valuable and because of the hole between her legs, Bonten would be missing out on a great investment, there wouldn’t be any way to deter the low-ranking scum from crossing lines, even with as many women as they owned in the hostess bars and such that they could indulge in whenever they pleased. The only woman that had walked around freely without fear was Akashi’s bitch and that was only because literally everyone knew who she belonged to; bastard had made a point to make it known.

“Vitals first.”

His face didn’t budge, a look of total boredom gracing his features as the pretty little doctor returned his stare, her own features gentle. Sanzu didn’t do anything to protest, letting her do as she pleased without argument, indulging the bullshit was the only way he’d get the morphine and he was beginning to feel the pain creeping up on him. Her lip was rolling between her teeth in concentration, her doe eyes bouncing between the clipboard she’d been using to keep track of the numbers and the new readings she’d get with each task she performed. The tinge of pink on her cheeks was still there but she maintained her focus, not hesitating while she went through the motions with practiced ease, making her notes in between each. He could’ve sighed in relief even before she pushed the needle into the IV, morphine was a gift from the gods that he’d never be able to get enough of, it’d be sad day when he wasn’t getting it any longer; she hadn’t bothered offering him anything else, it’d been morphine from the get-go.

‘Yes.’

It was a challenge to maintain composure every time it hit when he wanted nothing more than to collapse in bliss over the warm feeling in his head, it was the best drug he’d ever experienced out of all the ones he’d done thus far. The damn doctor back at headquarters didn’t even have a medical license anymore since he’d been caught red handed selling prescriptions for profit and couldn’t get ahold of shit like this easily, having to go through the networks and various channels, jumping through hoops. Bonten’s number two wholeheartedly wished he could take her and all her beautiful drugs back with him, she would’ve been so damn valuable to have around and on call for whenever he needed. If she weren’t so easy on the eyes, then it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, but the woman was stunning which would indefinitely be a problem when it came to keeping her unharmed/breathing. Between the scum and the Haitani Brothers, there wasn’t a snowball chance in hell that she would be left in peace if they saw her at headquarters…

‘At headquarters.’

That was the only thing stopping him from taking her, the location wasn’t ideal, but he didn’t necessarily have to take her anywhere, he could leave her exactly where he’d found her. Her clinic already had everything she needed, from the equipment to the medications, she was already established and had a full staff, patients and such. It was just like what the Haitani had done recently with the lavish hostess bar hiding the prostitution ring within plain sight, only hewould be hiding his own personal doctor within her own business and not a soul would know a thing about her. As valuable as she could be to the whole of Bonten, he wasn’t going to compromise as he’d done with quite literally everything else. With how often he was disappearing to complete assignments and take care of business per the king’s orders, no one would bat an eye over him slipping away every now and again, he only had to practice light discretion when he needed to swing by to visit the pretty little doctor.

‘Doctor Ikeda Yuki.’

His pretty little doctor.

‘Mine.’

The only thing he needed to do was put his foot down with her and he wouldn’t be able to do so for quite some time since he’d be recovering for the next several days, trying to do so now could only sabotage what he wanted. The regular shy expressions on her face and the constant pink running over her cheeks when she looked at him said everything he already knew, it may have been unconscious, but she’d been eye-fucking him just as much as he’d eye-fucked her. He had plenty of ways to work towards what he wanted without the need to threaten her, she was reserved, shy, so very easy to manipulate and with the way she looked at him, she wouldn’t make real attempts to stop his advances. He’d give her a little at a time, he’d take things slowly over the course of the next several weeks to build rapport with her bit by bit until she was so hooked on him that she’d never consider betraying him. He’d be able to come and go as he pleased to get his drugs or patched up as needed, no one would know about her, and she’d stay his little secret.

‘To think I was going to kill her.’

He thanked the morphine for opening up his mind to the possibilities, he would’ve just killed her and stolen what he wanted, that would only bring him short term happiness and by doing things this way, he’d have anything/everything he wanted for the long run. A doctor on call, his own personal pharmacy for whatever drugs he needed/wanted, a pretty woman that belonged to him and him alone, he’d never have to share her or wonder who’d fucked her in between his visits with her. Disregarding the way that she looked at him, she was showing no signs of having a partner, he’d only seen the phone in her hand once this whole time, she wasn’t acting antsy about needing to go home or anything of that nature, there was no ring on her finger, so he wouldn’t have to kill anyone that would be a threat to what he wanted. The only thing right now that Sanzu knew he needed to figure out was how he was going to go about this game, he had so many options on how to do things, each of them would open up different doors and although they would all lead to the same destination, he wanted to thoroughly enjoy cat and mouse for all it was worth this time around.

“You should be feeling better now.” Yuki spoke, her voice filled with compassion; his piercing eyes flicked to her form to see her placing the clipboard off to the side until their next round of vitals, taking a single step away from the bed.

‘Have to start building something with her.’

As melancholy as he felt, Sanzu was quick about it, snatching her wrist before she made it out of reaching distance to pause her steps and his unexpected touch had her swiveling around to face him, her doe eyes filled with alarm. The doctor obviously thought something was wrong and seeing as he’d never touched her aside from when he’d first woken up, he wasn’t surprised to see panic on her face as she moved back to his side, taking a seat on the edge of the bed directly beside him.

“Was it not enough? Are you still in pain?” she questioned, her tone right back to concerned; he’d made a move too soon before he had a solid plan on which route he wanted to take with her, he’d wanted to give it a considerable amount of thought before taking initiative but it was too late for that, he’d just have to roll with the punches. “I can get more if…”

‘Slow, a little at a time.’

His free hand moving to brush strands of white out of her eyes caused her words to trail off and her cheeks to flush in all of two seconds, her lavender pools filled with shyness simply over his touch. His head tilted against the pillows to stare at her from another angle, lightly trailing his fingers over her cheek to the curve of her jaw, his eyes never once pulling from hers as he did so. Her pretty face was the definition of embarrassed, pulling her eyes away for hardly three seconds only to flick back to his, looking up through dark lashes. She’d made no movement to slip away from him, her skin only growing warmer under his touch as her blush darkened, her lips had parted as though she had something she wanted to say but no words passed through.

‘Too shy to say anything, aren’t you Doctor?’

This would be all too easy for Sanzu, she behaved like a schoolgirl with a crush, how she’d managed to become a doctor with behavior like this was a mystery, but the specifics of that weren’t important. It’d take very little effort to get what he wanted, she was far too reserved to stand her ground against him and he’d be having the time of his life playing with her for the foreseeable future, the next several weeks would be a fun time. Bonten may have benefitted from having her, but he wasn’t going to share, if that prick Akashi didn’t have to then he surely wouldn’t be.

‘Oh?’

It took everything he had not to react when her free hand reached towards him and he forced his eyes not to pull from hers even though he was positive he knew what she was about to do, his scars had always been a target for curiosity; he was surprised she’d gathered enough courage to-

‘…’

He didn’t know what to think when she avoided his scars entirely, her fingers brushing locks of pink behind his ear, her butterfly touch tracing over one of the hoops in his ear, the look in her eyes entirely mesmerized as she stared back into his, almost as though she was admiring him rather than eye-fucking him.

“So pretty.”

The soft little murmur that came from her lips was almost inaudible, but he’d heard it, the expression on her face hadn’t faltered which told him she didn’t even seem to register that she’d said it aloud; she’d called him pretty.

‘Oh Doctor, are you really going to make this so easy for me?’

There was no turning back, she was his pretty little doctor now.

[squishablesunbeam]

The Palette Pt. 26: Putting Pieces Back Together

Prev. Next

TW: whumpee as an object, mentions of depression, deconditioning, recovering whumpee, mentions of past noncon touch

Mark tried to keep himself busy bustling around the kitchen. His entire body itched with a small electric current running through his veins.

Jesse had been in bed all morning. He's never done that before, always bright eyes and happy to see the morning sun and to watch the dogs burst through the door and head outside.

Today though, Jesse didn't come out with the fresh smell of coffee like he usually did. Mark had waited as long as he was physically capable before checking on him. The clock hit noon and he headed over to the sliver of light coming from Jesse's door.

Jesse never closed his bedroom door all the way. Mark wasn't sure why but he had a feeling that it was so the dogs and Lyra could come and go as they pleased. He tapped his fingernails against the wood lightly. Mark certainly didn't want to wake him if Jesse had actually managed to sleep in, god knew the boy deserved the rest.

Yesterday was rough.

Jesse didn't say much about the flashback. At least, that's what Mark thought had happened. All he'd said was that he had tripped and remembered something. He'd curled up next to Mark for hours and silently cried, never making even the smallest noise. He went to bed early, all on his own, and Mark hadn't seen him since.

Mark held his breath as he waited quietly at the door for Jesse to answer. A light thump was followed by the clicking of nails on the floorboards. The little chihuahua's face soon peered around the open door to look up at him.

"Hey Lucy, how's our boy?"

He nudged the door open wider and scooped Lucy up into this arms, heading over to the side of Jesse's bed.

Sad, green eyes met his own.

"Mornin'."

Lucy wiggled, trying to get back to Jesse, and Mark put her down on the bed. She immediately went back to the tiny space that was open under Jesse's chin and curled up tight.

Mark smiled softly.

"You need anything?"

Jesse blinked but didn't twitch a muscle. He'd certainly had bad days before but this felt different. It felt familiar. A deep grief and sadness had settled over the boy, his entire body encased in its embrace. Mark knew the feeling well. Moving a finger could feel like moving the entire world.

Mark dropped down to eye level. He placed his hand on the bed, gauging Jesse's reaction. He just watched him passively, so Mark kept going. Reaching up slowly, he placed his hand on Jesse's head, slowly rubbing his fingers in little circles.

He watched Jesse draw in a slow breath through his nose that looked like it took more concentration than it should have. But it broke that wall down, just a little. Jesse moved. His tongue darted out and wet his dry lips and his stiff fingers curled against the comforter.

"You're okay. You don't have to get up or anything," Mark kept his voice low and even, "Can you tell me what you'd like me to do? I can let you be, or I can stay? I can bring you some food? Whatever you need."

Jesse's eyes never left Mark's. He watched silently, for so long. Mark started to question whether or not he was even really seeing him. Maybe he was lost in his mind again, lost to before.

"Can you hear me, Jesse?" He asked so softly.

Mark kept gently scratching at Jesse's head, carding his fingers through his hair. Was he even capable of telling him what he wanted right now? Mark's fingers stopped their ministrations. What if he didn't want to be touched at all and just couldn't get the words out?

Pulling his hand away slowly, Jesse's eyes tracked his movement, tears starting to mist the green just a little bit.

"I'll be just outside if you need anything, okay?"

He went to pat the hand gripping at the blanket but stopped himself just an inch away from touching him again.

"I'm sorry," he whispered and went to stand.

It took every ounce of strength Mark possessed to take a step back, and then another. He turned and reached for the door.

"Stay. Please."

Mark dropped his head in relief, breathing out the air he didn't realize he was holding.

He turned back around.

Jesse was struggling to lift himself up, his entire body starting to tremble immediately. Mark stepped back to the side of the bed, hands out, ready to help but unsure what to do.

Jesse moved off one of the pillows and dropped his body back down, patting the spot he'd just moved out of.

Mark moved instantly.

He wedged himself into the small space and let Jesse decide how much contact he wanted. He watched as Jesse tucked himself and Lucy against Mark's hip and he rested a hand on Mark's knee.

Okay. Some touch is okay then.

Mark finally laid one arm over the boy's shoulder and set the other back on the top of his head. Jesse sighed and scooted just a tiny bit closer.

"Thank you," Jesse whispered, barely a sound on a single puff of breath.

Mark dropped his head back against the wall. He was the one that should be saying thank you, not Jesse. The weight that lifted off his heart the moment Jesse asked him to stay felt the size of the moon. He wanted to thank him for letting him help at all. After everything the boy's been through. He has actually given Mark some measure of trust and he couldn't even begin to fathom that kind of courage.

Mark choked down his own tears.

They sat like that for what must have been hours. He'd wondered more than once if Jesse had fallen asleep but the rhythm of his breathing never slowed. It wasn't rapid or too awfully shallow, just, steady. And certainly not deep the way breathing gets when someone finally drifts off.

Lucy crawled out of her little cubby hole at Jesse's chest and headed down to curl up in the bend of his knees instead.

Jesse didn't seem to know what to do with empty space she left behind. He dropped his hand down to the blanket, warmed by her little body, and just dragged his hand back and forth.

"It didn't like when they touched the palette...when they touched me," Mark froze. Oh fuck. His instincts were right the first time. He shouldn't be touching him at all. He slowly lifted his hand away from Jesse's head. Jesse reached up blindly, grabbed Mark's hand and put it back.

Mark let out a slow breath and starting scratching his fingers through his hair again.

"That's um, different. Feels good. Safe."

"Okay. Please just tell me if you want me to stop."

He felt Jesse nod against his hip.

"Handler didn't like when I cried. He gave me to the other handler to, to be trained. To be trained not to cry when it was touched. That's what it remembered before."

Mark buried the anger deep into his heart and felt hot tears burn down his face. He knew. Of course he knew. But that didn't make this any more awful. The fact that Jesse was acknowledging it at all, that was something.

"I'm so sorry, Jesse. No one should ever have touched you like that."

Jesse shrugged.

"Object's aren't supposed to care. It, um, I tried to stop, but every time- The pain was okay, really. It could slip away. But they'd touch me and, I was back again, in-in my body," Jesse sniffled, wiping at his face with his sleeve, "I didn't like it."

"But you did care, Jesse. And that's important, no matter what you were trained to be. I know you weren't allowed to say no before, but here, here your body is yours, okay? No one gets to touch you in a way you don't want. Not even me. Do you understand?"

Jesse rolled his head to look up at Mark, his brow deeply furrowed.

"But, you own the palette. You can do what you want with it."

Mark pursed his lips.

"I didn't take you from Sinclair's place to use you, not like that. I know it's hard to understand but, I took you to give you a home, a safe place, for as long as you want it. I want you to rest and to heal and to figure out what, who, you want to be. That's all."

Jesse frowned, the little lines at the side of his eyes crinkling. He pushed himself up slowly, pulling his legs up underneath him and sitting cross legged facing Mark.

Mark kept one hand on Jesse's arm.

"You don't want it to be a palette?"

Mark searched the boy's face. What was he supposed to say? Would Jesse think he didn't want him if he said no? He couldn't say yes. He knew that much.

He licked his lips and dragged his hand up and down Jesse's arm. He hoped it was reassuring.

"I want you to be what you want to be, Jesse. That's all. And you don't have to have the answer right now."

Jesse gasped out a panicked breath, tears coming to his eyes "I don't know."

"Hey, that's okay. That's okay. You don't have to know."

Jesse's body was shaking again, the locks of messy hair that had fallen into this face brushing back and forth across his cheek.

"It, I know, it doesn't want to be a palette, anymore, I don't think..."

The eyes that met Mark's were wide and utterly terrified. Mark was quick to smile and leaned forward, squeezing Jesse's arm.

"You don't have to be a palette. I promise that it's okay."

--

Jesse laughed out of sheer relief. It felt tears fall off its chin and brought its hands up to cover its face.

What does this mean? Mark wasn't mad at all. It wasn't going to be thrown out, or sold. It could stay? It could maybe even just be Jesse? Not a thing at all?

Jesse kept its face covered but leaned down to rest its forehead on Mark's chest, waiting until Mark's arm came up and wrapped it in a hug, crushing the pal-Jesse, to his chest.

It didn't have to be a palette.

What is it then? Jesse. It was Jesse. It knew that much.

Mark had said it was okay.

He'd even said that Jesse's body was its own. That it could decide if it was touched. That couldn't really be true. Not fully. It knew its body still belonged to Mark but it also rested in the fact that Mark wasn't going to hurt it. Or touch it. Not like that.

It was sure that was the truth. Mark didn't lie. Everything he'd ever said to it was true. He even came for the palette when it was stolen. He wanted it. But not just because it was a palette. Mark wanted it because it was Jesse.

Jesse cried. It felt the weight of its scars on its back, of what it was supposed to be, as Mark's hand brushed over them, back and forth. So much pain was held there. It still ached.

It wouldn't have to be cut anymore? Was that true too? It knew it was.

Jesse dropped fully onto the bed and wrapped its arms around Mark's waist.

"Will you help me?" Jesse's voice sounded so small, even to its own ears, "Will you help it not be a palette anymore? I don't know how to do that."

It felt Mark lean down and brush a kiss over its hair.

"I'll help you. I promise. But Jesse, you're already doing it."

Taglist: @whumpsday, @hold-him-down, @maracujatangerine, @pigeonwhumps, @boxboysandotherwhump, @darkthingshappen, @octopus-reactivated, @whumpzone, @unicornscotty, @melancholy-in-the-morning, @keep-beach-city-werid, @whumpthisway, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump , @onlybadendings, @canislycaon24, @joeywhumpsitup, @thebirdsofgay, @mylifeisonthebookshelf, @whumper-soot, @whumpworld, @haro-whumps, @whumpcereal, @scp-1296

[romirola]

Fragment Friday

I thought I'd queue up a contribution to Fragment Friday since it's been a while since I've posted a W.I.P.. This bit is a flashback that explores an enemies-to-friends arc for David and Sweetheart. It'll be quite a while before the full fic will be finished and posted, but until then, I hope you enjoy this little teaser. (If you did, check out this link to another snippet from the W.I.P. I posted.)

As requested, I'm tagging @itsdaifuku in all material related to this story (Title TBA.) If you'd like a tag in any teasers and/or when I post the story to AO3, please feel free to let me know and I'll be happy to add you!

Tagging @ejunkiet, @teddybasmanov, @darlinsam, @dominimoonbeam, @gingerbreadmonsters, @starlitangels , @falkea, @gwenifred, and anyone else who'd like to share a fragment of whatever work you are creating!

As soon as he slid into the seat, he fumbled to find the adjustment to give himself more legroom, His large hand swiped along the side of the seat, only to find nothing. “How do you ch‒”

Sweetheart lazily pointed at David’s feet. “Handle’s on the bottom right corner.”

David quickly found the handle and yanked on it, ready to throw his weight against the seat so it would slide backwards. Instead, the back of the seat suddenly gave way and he couldn’t stop himself from tipping backwards against it. He quickly launched forward and pulled at the lever to bring the back of the seat upright again. 

Sweetheart didn’t laugh. They didn’t move a muscle. They didn’t comment on the little battle between wolf and car seat at all. But when David’s eyes met theirs, he knew. He knew they set him up for that on purpose. And he knew they enjoyed seeing him struggle and lauded even that little bit of power over him. 

He bet they fit right in at D.U.M.P.. 

“I meant the handle at the bottom left corner,” Sweetheart finally sighed, like now that David had figured out their game, they had grown bored of him. 

“Mhmm,” David grunted. He carefully pulled at the lever, half-expecting another immature prank to hit him. Could they rig a car seat to shoot water at the passenger or to release snakes? David was relieved to discover that this time, the stealth was telling the truth. He fixed the seat and hastily clicked his seatbelt. 

While he got settled, David took the opportunity to glare daggers at Sweetheart. His countenance darkened into a storm cloud of repugnance, but unfortunately for him, Sweetheart avoided his eyes, instead busying themselves with cleaning the lenses of their sunglasses with their shirt. He wasn’t sure how to interpret the stealth’s hesitancy to look at him, so instead, he took the opportunity to look at them. 

It was the first time David had seen Sweetheart out of their official uniform, though he noticed that they did have their badge attached to the belt loop of their jeans. Instead, they wore a V-neck T-Shirt that sported the Department’s insignia in the top corner. Their hair was less styled than usual. It was almost unnerving to see them look so casual. So accessible. So human. 

It was strange. 

After putting their sunglasses back on and checking themselves out in the mirror, Sweetheart turned the car back on and put on their blinker to pull back onto the road even though there was absolutely no one in sight. “All set?” 

David gave them one silent nod before turning back to face forward. 

“Then off we go,” Sweetheart narrated in a faux-chipper tone, pulling out onto the barren road.