#i love that were all so into the potato discussion

[cinnonym]

Regarding jacket potatoes: I think it is perhaps because they are still wearing their little jackets, or skins. As opposed to some other situations where they would be peeled. This seems like what the US calls a baked potato, except we have slightly different toppings: cheese, sour cream, chives, bacon bits. Lots of butter, of course.

Oh!! That is an excellent theory and makes total sense to me, thank you for weighing in!!

[lancermylove]

I Love You, And I Hate It! (HC)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Pairing: Leaders x gn!Reader

Warning: None

Prompt: You yell at him that you love him but hate it.

———————————————

Leona

Leona was lounging on his bed, staring at the ceiling, when you flung open the door to this room and stomped closer to him. Locking eyes with him, you spoke seriously, “I love you, and I hate it!”

Then, you spun on your heels and stomped out of the room, your footsteps echoing with a resolute thud against the stone floors.

A smirk tugged on the prince's lips as his gaze followed you storming out of his bedroom.

"They love me, huh?" He whispered to himself. Picking up his phone, he texted you, "You sure you hate me, herbivore? You just bared your heart to me. Meet me at the botanical gardens at sunset. Don’t bother protesting—you won’t want to miss what I have planned."

Even though he was calm on the outside, Leona's heart was racing out of control. He was glad that none of the other beastmen were in the room. If they were, they would have heard how fast his heart was beating.

Malleus

The prince stood in the dead woods near Ramshackle, his eyes locked on the ghastly orb in the night sky. There was an eerie calmness about him, but as soon as he heard your storming toward him, Malleus shifted his gaze to you.

Looking up into his glowing, emerald eyes, you broke the tranquility of the forest with your determined voice, "I love you, and I hate it!"

Before Malleus could respond, you turned around and stomped away into the shadows of the forest.

Though the prince was surprised, there was a warmth in his expression. Without a second thought, Malleus raised his hand and created a magical path to guide you back to him, stopping you from fleeing.

"You endeavor to flee after such a confession? No, not this night." His soft voice echoed through the forest, "Return to me, child of man. We shall speak of these matters that stir such turmoil in your heart."

As you slowly walked closer to him, you saw a light blush on his pale cheeks.

Vil

When you entered his room, Vil was doing his makeup. Though he noticed you in the reflection of his mirror, he didn't say anything and continued to apply lipstick.

Stepping closer to him, you met his gaze in the mirror and borderline yelled at him, "I love you, and I hate it!"

You weren't sure if it was the volume of your voice or your words, but Vil's hand slipped, causing his lipstick to swipe along his cheek. But before he could fully process your words, you turned around and walked out of his room.

With a sigh, he gently removed the lipstick streak on his cheek and quickly texted you. "Why date, my dear potato? Return to my room at once. We need to have a proper discussion regarding this matter, and I also wish to teach you how to use your indoor voice."

After sending the message, Vil looked at his reflection in the mirror and smiled warmly. The unexpected turn of events had added a pink shade to life's palette, and he was eager to see how everything would turn out.

Riddle

Riddle was sipping a piping hot cup of tea in Heartslabyul's garden when he saw you marching toward him. From your expression, he thought something might have happened to you, and you wanted to rant to him.

Just as he was about to invite you to sit down and ask if you wanted some tea, you drew in your breath and loudly proclaimed, "I love you, and I hate it!"

The last thing you saw before you walked away was Riddle nearly dropping his floral ceramic cup on his dorm uniform.

He was too fixated on the word "hate" to fully process what you had told him. For a while, he thought about why you hated him and went through all the interactions between the two of you to figure out if he said or did something to make you hate him.

Then, it suddenly hit him. Did you just say you loved him? His eyes widened, and his face turned the color of his hair. Covering his mouth, he tried his best to keep his emotions together.

Riddle's heart was beating so fast that he felt like he was going to faint at any moment.

Idia

Idia was too engrossed in his game to hear you entering his bedroom. As soon as you stepped closer to his chair, Idia turned around with widened eyes and nearly chucked his game controller at you but stopped mid-air when he saw it was you.

For a moment, the two of you had a stare-off before you decided to clear your throat and blurt out, "I love you, and I hate it!"

Turning on your heels, you walked out of his bedroom just as quickly as you had entered. Idia stared at you in horror, still fazed by you catching him off guard by entering his bedroom.

When his mind registered your words, piece by piece, Idia's jaw dropped, and his hair slowly changed from blue to pink.

"They...l-lo-lo-lo....ve me?" Idia felt his whole world spinning, but then he realized his game was unpaused and had a moment of panic.

Even though he lost that round and all his hard work went to waste, Idia secretly felt happy. For the rest of the day, he had a toothy grin.

Azul

Azul stood in the Monstro lounge with his back to you, and while you couldn't see what he was doing, you could tell he was busy. Despite that, you walked closer to him.

As soon as he greeted you without turning around, you loudly said, "I love you, and I hate it!"

Just as you turned around and walked away, you heard the sound of multiple glasses breaking. Azul had a tray of empty glasses in his hands, and your words caught him off guard.

Though you walked away without stopping, Jade and Floyd rushed out of the office to see what was going on. The twins were amused and surprised by Azul standing frozen in place.

The octopus's mouth was wide open, his eyes were the size of discs, and his hands were still in mid-air, holding the tray lopsided. He looked like he had seen a ghost.

But the most amusing feature of the eels was Azul's bright red cheeks. They exchanged a look, wondering what had transpired.

Kalim

Kalim was walking through the halls of Scarabia, bored out of his mind. When he saw you, he gave you the widest grin possible, but his smile quickly wiped away.

Your expression - was he in trouble? Did he do something he wasn't supposed to? Kalim was nervous.

Taking a deep breath, you met his gaze and somewhat angrily said, "I love you, and I hate it!"

Kalim's mind negated the 'I hate you' part and only focused on the first half of your statement. So, as soon as you turned around to walk away, he ran up to you and wrapped his arms tightly around your waist.

Before you could react, Kalim kissed your cheek and yelled, "I love you too!"

Though the moment was supposed to be a cute, happy one, Kalim's mouth was too close to your ears. So when he yelled, your ears vacuumed and started to ring, causing you to feel dizzy. However, he didn't notice and continued to hold you close to him.

———————————————

➣ Twisted Wonderland [1][2][3] ➣ Main Masterlist

➣ Buy me a Ko-fi? ➣ Commission: Open ➣ HC/Scenario Requests: Closed || Quick Ask Requests: Closed || GIF Requests: Closed

[thegoldencontracts]

ONE OF MY TWST OCS IS A TOTAL TSUNDERE WHAT THE HELL

Make twst tsundere content, I DARE you(I'd say I'd match you with content of my own, however it is drama and science finals week and I'd rather not burn myself out on more than one front bc my english final is next week. So I will not guarantee that lmao BUT STILL THAT SOUNDS AWESOME MAKE THAT CONTENT I WILL EAT IT UP)

- thoughtlessdesires

THANK YOU SOMEONE ELSE WHO UNDERSTANDSSSSS

Hello, you there, yes, YOU 🫵 can help make tsundere twst by uhh... idek man it's tsundere twst,,, it's cuteee i swearrr imagine THIS:

I-It's Not Like I Like You!

Summary: The Housewardens deal with their affection in the oddest of ways.

Notes: This is a taste of what we can make possible GUYS tsundere!twst is cute and it's not ridiculously ooc or smth like that i SWEAR- Also the last sentence in Azul's part is literally ripped straight from the third part of his dorm vignette (the tsundere potential of this man is so understated guys PLEASE let me yap here I have a point-)

Night Raven College; a place of raw meritocracy. Sentiment is rarely found, and affection is often mocked. Logic and strength are meant to take priority, and discord between students is common.

So what happens where these students find someone who treats them with kindness, understanding.

...Completely flounder, of course.

The housewardens, during one of their meetings, even discussed the dearest Ramshackle Prefect, so odd, so understanding. Kalim had brought the topic up, of course.

"...Why's this important?" Leona had said, a bored look on his face.

"I-Indeed," Riddle said. "The Prefect isn't particularly relevant to our current topic of discussion, regardless of accomplishments."

Azul sighed in his typical, overdramatic manner of his.

"How cold!" he said. "Kalim was merely doing his duty to discuss the needs of all students, regardless of how-"

His nose wrinkled.

"Talentless."

"Well, the Prefect's not that bad." A lukewarm praise. Even Kalim wasn't speaking highly of the Prefect? Just what was going on here?

"A total normie," Idia had said.

"It's true, the potato could use some work," Vil said,

Wow. These housewardens sure did hate you, didn't they?

Wrong! At that moment, all of the, were lying! They liked you. And no one in that room had any clue how to deal with it.

Riddle hasn't ever really got to experience relationships due to the stifling pressure of his mother. Thus, he has absolutely no clue how to handle the sudden affection for you he feels. He'd often stop by Ramshackle to help you with your homework. Just because you happened to need it way more than the others, of course. N-No ulterior motives here. What do you mean 'his face is red'? You're just imagining things!

Leona's always been treated like a cold, uncaring individual, and that's what he's used to. That leaves him completely flabbergasted when you suddenly start making him lovesick. He happens to "accidentally" drop money and the like while you were near. Not that he wants to help you, of course! He just doesn't really care about the money that much. Why're you looking at him like that? He's not that kind of sap!

Azul's childhood's left him used to rejection. After so long of being mocked for any desire of love and companionship, he's shunned it. Love's just business to him, an easily exploitable emotion. So he'll never be able to admit it now that he's the exploitable one. He gives you stuff... for free? Since when did he do that? Ask him about it and he insists he's just doing it for business' sake. What kind of business? Is he sure he doesn't just like you? W-What sort of foolish questions are those? Do you honestly think him capable of such an illogical sentiment as "attachment"?

Kalim, of course, isn't immune. Even he doesn't understand this. Someone actively returning his kindness? He's absolutely in love, and he doesn't know how to handle it. Although he won't be quite as abrasive as the others, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings. He might actually be less nice to you than to others. Not in a rude way, of course, he's just a bit quiet because he's always so flustered around you! Can you blame him?

Vil, too, despite his normal mentality of being candid and mature, struggles to handle his affection. He'll buy you skincare and the like. B-But, he'd do this for anyone, of course. There's nothing particularly special about the way he feels for you! Once again, though he isn't particularly defensive, he'll definitely struggle to admit his feelings, and it causes him boatloads of internal conflict. Why's he being so immature all of a sudden?

Idia doesn't get you. Why'd some normie suddenly have to start talking to him? J-Jeez, it's not like he enjoys your company or anything! Idia can vaguely recognize the word 'tsundere' in his head as he mulls over his interactions with you, but he denies it. Denying his feelings? U-Uh, what feelings?

"Looks like you have some competition, huh?"

"What competition, Lilia?" Malleus's face twisted in displeasure. "The Child Of Man- they're merely a friend."

Malleus doesn't know how to feel. He's never really had these sorts of close relationships before, so when his heart pounds around you and sparks seem to fly, he has no clue what to do. He's so deep in denial, partially due to his obliviousness when it comes to matters of sentiment and partially due to how he's used to being intimidating, and blushing like a schoolgirl around one's crush is the opposite of intimidating.

[everythingbridgertonbxm]

Flowers and Gardens

Summary - Benedict Bridgerton is very in love with his wife and he isn’t afraid to show it.

645 words. HAPPY READING!!!

✨💐

“Ben? Love, does this dress look okay. I am unsure about it.” You stand in front of the mirror, turning to look at yourself from another angle as your husband lays on your bed, propping up his head with his fist.

“My love, you could wear a potato sack and still look divine.” He stands and walks towards you as you continue to look at yourself in the mirror.

“I just feel…unhappy. It does not complement my figure well.” You watch him walk up behind you, looking dashing as always before placing his hands behind his back and looking at the two of you standing in the mirror.

“Do not listen to your mind’s idle chatter,” he says, smiling, before wrapping his arms around you. The back of your neck pressed to his front.

You just nod before smoothing out your dress, stepping away from Benedict’s embrace and trying to fix the dress in any way you think you can. He pulls you back into his arms. “What did I say, no mirror checking. You’re beautiful, end of discussion.” A small coy smile dances across his lips.

You let out a short laugh as he wraps his arms around your middle. “Benedict, I have to keep checking in the mirror to make sure my dress is not wrinkled because you keep pulling me into your arms.”

That coy smile grows even more across your husband’s face, with no intention of letting you out of his grip. “It’s not my fault you look so tempting. Please forgive my weakness.” He kisses your cheek, quickly before looking back at the pair of you in the mirror.

“Only because I am your wife, though it is not my fault you find me so tempting,” you respond, smiling, before letting out a contented sigh.

“ suppose you are right. It is the world’s fault for not containing such beauty.” He places another kiss on your cheek. “Besides, there were no other possibilities for me, but you.”

“There were plenty of other women for you. Plenty of other beautiful women,” you say, tilting your head to the side just a bit.

“They are all passing flowers. But you, my dear, are the garden for which I will tend to with absolute care for the rest of my days.” The coy smile subsides to be replaced with a sweet smile splitting his face, the one that anyone could look at and know the man is absolutely enamored with his wife.

Those words left you speechless and Benedict takes that opportunity. His lips are on your neck, tickling the skin. He knows you had little power and such actions render you speechless.

You manage a few words, taking tremulous breaths between each word. “Did we…not…say we…were…attending…Lady Danbury’s…soirée?”

He only lifts his lips enough to speak, his breath still hot on the side of your neck. “We have enough time, don’t you think,” he says, breath still on your neck. You do not need to look in the mirror to know he is smirking just a bit. Before you can answer, his lips are back on your neck as he swipes a small strand of hair to kiss your shoulder.

You had married Benedict for five months, but you have a feeling you would always have a hard time every time Benedict’s lips find your neck or shoulders. “If…,” you tried to take a deep breath, “you are so insistent upon doing this now,” you turn abruptly to face him, surprising the man, before continuing, ‘perhaps we should shut the door.’

He lets out a short groan, only making you laugh before lowering his head into the corner of your shoulders and neck. He finally, reluctantly lets you go and walks over and shuts your bedroom door so you can spend until morning in bed together.

[asapjens]

maknae on top (of me)

LE SSERAFIM: hong eunchae x le sserafim 6th!member

SYNOPSIS: despise being only 1 year older than the maknae of the group you can’t help but teasing eunchae about it.

CATEGORY: fluff

WORD COUNT: 317

WARNINGS: cringe, me trying to be funny, some suggestive jokes, mentions of the members teasing you, you teasing eunchae, eunchae teasing you, teasing about age. reader is 1 year older than eunchae, you can read it as a platonic relationship or as a romantic one :)

Your relationship with Eunchae has always been pretty solid and healthy, so that's why Yunjin thought her reaction would be the funniest one.

At first, you weren't sure about doing it because that's not how your relationship was. But after some persuasion from the redhead, you thought it would be funny.

It wasn't as if Eunchae wasn't used to the teasing from Yunjin and Sakura as unnies, but it would be different coming from you since you also suffer from the teasing of being one of the youngest in the group.

That's why the moment Eunchae left her room to sit on the dorm's couch, you jumped right at her. The girl giggled at the action and asked, "What are you doing?" She said with her big gummy smile.

"I'm testing your strength," you said, getting up. Eunchae started laughing at you and raised her eyebrows. "Really, is that it?"

"Yeah, I want to see if you're as strong as fearnots say," you told her while eyeing her up and down. She burst into laughter. "Well, am I?"

"Mmh.. I think so. I guess that's why you're such a loving maknae," you said with a smirk. "I think that's why everyone keeps saying 'maknae on top,' but you know, I think 'maknae on top of me' is better."

Eunchae's big eyes widened at your response, and you watched as her cheeks turned pink. You couldn't help but laugh at your attempt at teasing.

"Yn!" you heard Yunjin call, and heard some laughs in the background. Kazuha, Chaewon, Sakura, and Yunjin came out of the kitchen, laughing loudly.

You covered your face with embarrassment while you heard all of the laughs, until you felt someone's arms around you. Eunchae's.

"You think you're so funny," you heard her say with a teasing tone. "I know," you said.

You felt her hands around yours, and she took your hands out of your face, forcing you to make eye contact with the smiley girl. "You're only months older than me," she said with a pout.

"Yeah, but I couldn't help myself," you said with a smirk. "Actually, you should be thankful." The girl raised her eyebrows in confusion.

"This was the best joke I could think of," you heard the laughs of the girls in the background. "I had one of you being a 'smiley potato,' so..."

"OMG," you heard Sakura's voice, followed by another burst of laughter. "Girl," said Yunjin.

You gave Eunchae a 'save me, please' look. Eunchae laughed at your face and thought you were the cutest girl. "Okay, guys, enough. Leave her alone. I think her saying that joke out loud is punishment enough," she called.

The girls nodded once they calmed down and just smiled, saying they were going to start making dinner.

"Thanks," you said, smiling at the girl. "Woah, they really listened at the first call. That's weird," you said. "I know, right? I guess I'm really becoming a respectable maknae on top," she said, raising her brows with a smirk.

"Maybe. Wait, if you're being the top, does that mean I'm the bottom?" you said.

Eunchae burst into laughter at the comment and hit your arm softly.

"Okay, I'm sorry! And you're right, between us, I'm the better top," you said, teasing her.

She just rolled her eyes and smiled at you.

"We can discuss it later. Now, I'm starving," the girl said, taking your hand and walking towards the kitchen.

"Later as in the night alone in your room? Wow, Hong Eunchae, you're really going for the top."

"Yn!"

[berryz-writes]

Not yet

Azriel x reader

Summary: Your not ready to tell Azriel's family your mates in fear of them not liking you

note: It's just Az being the standard and the cutest shit ever. Also its pretty short im sorry lovelies <3

"I don't want to. Not yet" I murmured to Azriel, snuggling closer to his warmth. His hands ran up and down my back, sending small shivers down my spine.

"And why is that, sweetheart?" He replied, his voice slightly hoarse from having just woken up, pressing small kisses to my face. I opened my eyes and tried to get used to the light in the room. It was a Saturday, one of the days Azriel was content to just lie in bed with me with no commitments for the rest of the day.

"I just...I don't think they'll like me. I know it's stupid but I don't know them well enough. What if they think I'm using you or don't actually love you? What if they convince you that I'm not good enough?" I waited for him to say something. I didn't usually have anything bad to say against his family but I was never comfortable around new people. Especially if they were such important figures in our court. A slight sigh left his lips "Y/n. Do you really think I'd stop loving you if one of them told me to?...not that they would"

I sat up and tucked my hair behind my ear, his heat suddenly too much. "No but it's not just that. Imagine I say something wrong. I know their your family but their also high lord and lady. What if I say something...I don't know politically wrong? They'll laugh at me and think how in the world are us two mates."

Azriel moved his arm around my waist and pulled me back to lay down on the bed, his hand moving through my hair in a soothing motion. "They will think nothing of the sort because you are perfect. But if it makes you feel better we can wait for as long as you want. Feyre was talking about inviting the wonderful florist tomorrow. Accept her offer and get to know everyone a bit"

I thought about it and slowly nodded my head. "Fine."

Azriel was right because Feyre did invite me the next day.

"Y/n! Oh these are gorgeous! You've outdone yourself" Feyre said admiring the bouquet I had prepared

I smiled and handed her the card with all my business details "Thank you high lady. If anyone asks where you got them from please give them this."

"Feyre, please. No formalities between us"

I nodded my head "Feyre it is then"

She turned her attention to the rest of the shop looking around the flower filled store "You have such a peaceful life. Living amongst flowers and smelling like roses all the time"

I let out a small laugh. Very peaceful. Sometimes a little too peaceful. "I suppose. Although it get's boring at times"

Feyre's eyes lit up in excitement "You should come to dinner tonight! It'll be something different for you and we can get to know each other more"

I thought about what me and Azriel had discussed earlier. Now was the perfect opportunity, to meet his family. "Oh...I don't want to intrude. I don't know-"

She shook her head "Nonsense. Your coming tonight. Everyone will be scrambling over each other to get to know you"

I looked around the store, hoping for a sign as to what I should do. The only sign I could see however was the open sign on the front door.

"Fine. I'll come. Thank you the for the invite high- Feyre"

She beamed and gave me a quick hug, slightly surprising me before walking out with her bouquet of flowers. I sighed. Well I suppose I better go home and change so I looked slightly decent at least.

*Dinner, a few hours later*

Azriel cleared his throat slightly before continuing "Did you want something lov- y/n?"

I paused and clenched my jaw at the slip up. The chatter at the table was luckily loud enough for no one to quiet hear what he was saying. This was the first time I had been happy for Cassian's loud voice. I shook my head "I'll get it myself, thank you" I reached over and picked up the dish, adding a few potatoes to my plate, trying not to gather attention towards us two. Really. Azriel wasn't very good at following instructions. If someone had heard that I don't know what I would have done.

Probably jumped out a window or something.

"Everything alright?" Rhys asked looking over at me first, then Azriel and then me again. I nodded my head quickly and gave him a smile "Fine, everything's fine" Azriel didn't reply merely nodding in agreement too.

I let out a sigh of relief when he turned away and took a sip of his wine. Luckily dinner passed with no other accidents happening. I watched as everyone took their seats in the living room, Feyre and Rhys cuddled up on the couch while the others sprawled here and there, Elain having gone up because of a headache.

Azriel stood half hidden by his shadows in the door way, I could sense him even though I couldn't see him without squinting my eyes.

Come to the kitchen. It's important

His voice echoed in my mind, his deep and low voice making me miss him even though he was just inches away. I got up making an excuse of needing water and walked over to the kitchen, past the dining room where we had just sat. Before I could process what was happening I was against a wall and Azriel's lips were on mine, his shadows cocooning us in a dark and peaceful bubble. He kissed me like he was starving and he couldn't get enough.

We finally pulled apart my hands resting on his chest "Azriel" I warned him, the lust filled look in his eyes ready to devour me. His hands ran up and down my body, my waist, my hips warming each part of me.

"I want to tell them. I want to tell them about my perfect and beautiful mate." He whispered his eyes dark and his hair falling forward onto his forehead. I pushed a strand away "I can't right now. I'm not ready"

I knew even if I shook my head once Azriel would understand. His hopeful expression dropped slightly but his lips remained in a small smile "Let me take you home now, sweetheart. I can't live without having you close to me"

I rolled my eyes but smiled all the same "Don't be so dramatic"

He didn't reply, instead tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "We're going" He said finally and winnowed us on the spot. I didn't even get to say goodbye to anyone but all thoughts left me as Azriel looked at me with his devilishly handsome grin.

MASTERLIST

[suugarbabe]

Lover

Pairing: Mattheo Riddle x Reader

Word count: ~1.5k

Warning: mutual pining, fluff

AN: this idea came from @annaisabookworm so thank you love for the idea 🤭

You were sat at your house table, leg bouncing uncontrollably as your headmaster discussed the N.E.W.T level classes your year was due to start next week. It was the first dinner and you were already a nervous wreck. A sudden hand on your knee stopped your shaking, “You’re gonna churn the pudding with how hard your leg is jumping, y/n/n.” You turned to face the hands owner, “Sorry, Teo. S’just, these new classes this year have me a bit shook.” Mattheo smiled at you, “You’re like, the smartest Slytherin there ever was. You put too much pressure on yourself.”

You scoffed a little at his compliment, “Come of it, am not.” You ignored his latter comment, choosing to suddenly be very interested in the bowl of potatoes in front of you, scooping half onto your plate. Theo and Enzo stopped eating in front of you, eyes growing a bit large. You glared at them, “Something to say?” They looked at each other, then back to you, shaking their heads. The headmaster announced curfew for the night, encouraging all the students to indulge in the food in front of them, which most everyone did. You pushed the potatoes around your plate, barely eating. “If yer just playing wiff ‘em can I ‘ake a few,” Enzo held his fork over your plate, cheeks stuffed to the brim with chicken and beans. You rolled your eyes, pushing your plate towards him.

Blaise leaned in from your other side, “Ya sure your good, y/n/n?” You nodded, standing up, “I think I’m just gonna go back to the common room and chill out for a bit. See you guys there?” Your friends all mumbled forms of goodbye. You looked to Mattheo, who just gave you sympathetic eyes. You returned the look before turning back towards the doors and making your way to the common room.

“Ya gonna go ‘fter ‘er mate?” Enzo looked up from his plate towards Mattheo. “You know it’s vile when you talk with food in your mouth,” Mattheo didn’t even look in his direction, still staring at the doors of the great hall you had just walked through. “You know he’s right, cousin,” Draco piped up for the first time of the evening, “watching you pine after her for years is right boring at this point.” Mattheo turned his head then, “I do not pine after y/n. She’s my best friend, all of our friend mind you. I’m just worried about her. Sure, she gets anxious but it seems a little different today. I just care.”

Blaise groaned, rolling his eyes, “Come now, bruv.” Mattheo finished his meal in silence, refusing to respond to any more of his friends' teasing. He walked back to the common room in a daze, mind filled with thoughts of you. You’d been part of the group since everyone’s first ride into Hogwarts. Mattheo had known Theo, Enzo and Blaise nearly his entire life, their parents either being death eaters for his father or a loyal follower and Draco, well, he was Mattheo’s cousin so he was forced to know him his entire life. The five boys nearly missed the first train because they were goofing off on the platform, causing them to not find an empty compartment for themselves. Theo had suggested the one you were sitting in, saying you were cute. He immediately tried to hit on you like he’d seen older boys do with girls, but you had whipped out your wand and bound him. It was highly impressive for a first year, and Mattheo was obsessed. Theo apologized, you ignored him, and then you allowed the rest of the group to join you nonetheless.

Mattheo wasn’t exactly sure when the lines blurred from best friend to full on heart wrenching in love with you. It was always sort of there in his mind, that you were special…different. If he had to put a timeline on when he actually recognized a change in his feelings it would be about three summers ago, when you had asked everyone to come to your parents house for two weeks during the holiday. Mattheo had only ever interacted with you at school, in the castle. You weren’t old enough to go to Hogsmead until the following year so he never really got to see you in a non-school environment. And it was…nice, different. Something that he could see himself enjoying often. The next school year after that nearly all the boys noticed a difference in how Mattheo responded to and acted towards you. You, however, appeared to remain clueless. Mattheo almost preferred it that way, until he could really know how you felt towards him, if it were the same as himself.

When the boys entered the common room, it appeared completely empty. That was, except for a cloud of smoke rising from one of the back couches, followed quickly by a row of rough coughs coming from deep in your throat. Mattheo was by your side quicker than Draco on a snitch, ripping the cigarette from between your fingers, “What the bloody hell are you doing with one of these?” You remained laying on the couch, catching your breath, “Okay, one: that was rude of you to just snatch that from me like that. Two: nearly all of you guys do it. You always tell me it helps you relax, so…I stole some from Teddy’s nightstand.”

“Heeyy…that’s my emergency stash,” Theo was pouting, now sitting under the end of your legs. You sighed, rubbing your temples, “This is an emergency, Teddy…I’m buggin. Stressed out of m’fucking mind.” Mattheo threw the cig in the fireplace going behind him, Theo’s opened his mouth to complain again but the look on Mattheo’s face made him sink back into the sofa silently. Mattheo turned to you, holding his hand out palm up, “C’mon, grumpy, come with me.” You looked up at him, grabbing his hand, “Where we goin’?” His dimpled popped with his smile, “You know where.” You sat up now, swinging your legs down and placing your feet on the ground, “Carry me?”

He turned around, squatting down in front of you. He hooked his elbows over your thighs and around your knees while you wrapped your arms around his chest, resting your face in the crook of his neck. You giggled as he hiked you up higher and got a better grip on your thighs. Behind you Draco made a gagging face before Blaise playfully shoved his shoulder. The boys’ voices slowly drowned out as Mattheo carried you through the portrait hole, down the corridors and through the courtyard, all the way to the edge of what you both had designated as your spot: the black lake.

When he finally let you down from his back, you took your wand out, transfiguring a patch of grass into a quilt for you both to sit comfortably. Mattheo sits down first, beckoning you to follow suit. You settle between his legs, your elbows resting on his bent knees while he leaned back on his hands. You looked over the lake, it was your favorite to do at night, especially when stressed or anxious. You loved seeing the stars reflected on the water, dancing with the shifts and ripples from the creatures.

You felt Mattheo’s arms wrap around your middle, his chest now pressed against your back as he rested his chin on your shoulders, “Feeling less grumpy?” His tone was slightly teasing, but you knew he was curious about your real answer. That’s how Mattheo was, hiding his true feelings behind teasing and sarcasm. It was frustrating sometimes, made him hard to read, but right now you were thankful for it.

“A little less grumpy, yes,” you smiled into your answer, eyes still on the lake in front of you. “How’d you know this would help, hmm?” Mattheo held you a bit tighter, “Cause I know you, y/n/n. You’re my best friend.”

Friend. The word made you want to vomit. But instead of reacting you just settled further into him. “Why were you trying to smoke earlier?” You sighed, “I told you, I was just trying to relax.” You felt Mattheo shake his head, “You really shouldn’t smoke. It’s terrible for you, ruins your lungs.” You scoff, “Rich comin’ from you don’t ya think?” You felt his laugh against your back, “Yeah, but you’re better than me. Always have been. Don’t start stooping to my level now.”

You shook your head, “Don’t talk bad about yourself, Teo. I’ll make you sit out here and listen to me go on and on about all the good things about you and get all sappy just like you hate.” He laughed against you again, you both falling into a comfortable silence. Mattheo wanted to hear everything you had to say, what good things you could come up with. In his mind the list was short. You were leaning into him now. He shut his mind off, focusing just on the water in front of him.

You two sat there for a while, until you started to shiver and Mattheo convinced you to go back inside. He carried you back like before, except this time you rested your head on his back, trying your best not to fall asleep wishing you meant more to him than just a friend.

[steddieas-shegoes]

stay for a while

for @steddielovemonth prompt 'love is being late to work' and for @steddieholidaydrabbles pop-up event for Valentine's Day

rated e | 815 words | tags: post-sex afterglow, dirty talk, established relationship, domestic fluff

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

"You gotta go faster," Steve panted.

"I'm not the one riding me, sweetheart," Eddie replied, equally out of breath.

"Put your back into it."

So Eddie gripped Steve's hips and put his back into it.

When Steve collapsed on top of him, Eddie's cum coating both of their stomachs, they both sighed.

This was the first time they'd managed to have sex in nearly a week. Their schedules were awful lately, and any time they did manage to spend together was usually asleep.

But Steve managed to wake up before his alarm this morning and Eddie was already naked and hard and one thing led to another...

"I'm gonna be late if I don't get up and shower," Steve sighed.

He loved his job as a guidance counselor, but the early mornings sucked. Especially when Eddie didn't have to be at work most days until nine.

Maybe he could call in sick or something today.

"I could join you..." Eddie's teeth nipped his neck teasingly. "Work you up while you wash your hair. Suck you off until you can't feel your legs. Maybe fill you up again and lick you clean."

If Steve's cock wasn't trapped between them, it probably would have given a valiant effort at getting hard again.

"Babyyyyy."

"What?" Eddie kissed his jaw. "I just wanna make up for all the time we've missed this week."

"I know," Steve sat up and looked down at Eddie's sweat-slick chest. "It'll be better next week. I won't be on afternoon pick-up duty and won't have senior meetings to go to."

"And I won't be stuck at the studio with this fuckin' singer who thinks I don't have a life outside of him and his lackluster songwriting skills."

Steve smirked. "Tell me how you really feel."

"I would, but I wouldn't wanna ruin the afterglow, Stevie. You look fuckable."

"I look fucked. There's a difference," Steve leaned down to kiss his forehead.

"Not to me," Eddie pouted. "I could fuck you again. Real quick. Won't even know I'm there."

Steve snorted. "Why are you so horny this morning, Jesus Christ."

"Don't blame him. I just always want you. You're like a potato chip: one is never enough."

"Wow. What a line. I'm melting into a puddle," Steve's monotone voice was interrupted by Eddie's loud laugh. "I'm gonna go shower before you try something."

"But...we still have 30 minutes before you have to go."

Steve glanced at the clock, jumping up and yelping when he realized Eddie hadn't even pulled out all the way yet. "Shit!"

"What?"

"I have a senior meeting this morning! I have less than ten minutes!"

Steve tripped getting out of the bed, his legs still wobbly from riding Eddie for the last 15 minutes.

"Reschedule it!" Eddie yelled after him as Steve ran into the bathroom and started the shower. "Call in sick."

"Not happening! It's Hannah; She's freaking out about college applications as if she won't get in everywhere she applies and if I cancel, she'll spiral," Eddie made his way into the shower as Steve spoke, nodding along to his words, but focused mostly on the way the water was dripping down his body as he rushed to wash his hair. "And then I have a faculty meeting with the rest of the counselors to discuss how we'll implement the new afterschool senior study group because the school board said we can't legally call it a study group unless it's 100% sanctioned by the students, which is just incredibly stupid and also not even remotely important! Like, we're just trying to make sure they can pass their finals, why does it matter what we call it?"

Eddie leaned in to kiss Steve's lips softly, just enough of a brush against them to make him pause.

"Sorry," Steve sighed. "Didn't mean to ramble."

"You know I love when you do, Stevie," Eddie smiled at him, grabbing the shampoo bottle from the shelf to get started on his own hair. "I just hate seeing you so stressed. Kinda wanna help relieve that stress some more."

"Baby, I love you, but if you touch my dick right now, I will murder you."

"Ouch," Eddie clutched his hand to his chest. "Straight to murder over a little handjob in the shower?"

"If that's what has to be done for me to get to work on time."

Eddie sighed. "Fine. I won't touch you. But I'm gonna be sad all day about the lost moments we could've shared."

Steve finished rinsing off the soap on his body and turned to give Eddie a quick peck on the lips. "We can share some moments tonight. Promise."

"Okay, okay. Get out before you're late."

Steve was still late for work, but mostly because he still insisted on packing Eddie's lunch while he was in the shower finishing up. No job was more important than that.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for using what my mother taught me against her and leaving dinner?? 🍲🍴

Okay so, this might be a bit long.

I (22X) have a strained relationship with my mother (49F). We were very close when I was growing up, and while she has always been harsh and strict, she's also very loving. The problems started when I came out as queer at 16. She's very christian, and was not happy at all. I knew she'd react that way, since both her and my father have been blatantly homophobic my whole life, but I thought with some time we'd be able to move past it. However, this hasn't really happened. While my father is more accepting, neither of them is really onboard, and my mother has taken to making passive-agressive comments and overall just being homophobic towards me. I've moved away for college and while we still talk semi-regularly, I haven't been home for some time now.

Now, here's where the story starts. I have a girlfriend (24F, let's call her Ashley) and we've been dating for the past 2 years, and my parents haven't met her or expressed any desire to meet her. Last week, however, I received a call from my father telling me my brother (19M) was bringing his gf (19F, she's awesome) for dinner so my parents could meet her and said he wanted me and Ashley to be there as well. I asked if my mother knew about it and he assured me she was onboard (I even talked to her and she said there was no problem), and after discussing it with Ashley, we decided to attend.

We drove 3 full hours on the day to make it to dinner. As soon as we arrived my mother introduced us to my brother's gf as roomates, which I corrected. I watched her make conversation with this girl, but whenever Ashley wanted to say something, she'd be interrupted or ignored. Both my brother and his gf noticed this and they tried to help out, but it was really annoying me. While I am used to this sort of behavior towards me, I couldn't stand watching my beautiful girlfriend be treated like that. Before dinner I asked Ashley what she wanted to do about it and she told me to just ignore my mother and have a nice time.

And then dinner started. Ashley is a vegetarian, and I told my mother multiple times to let me know if she could accommodate or if we should bring something for her. My mother insisted she'd have something for Ashley to eat, but when the time came, she just said she had forgotten. She also conveniently added little pieces of bacon to the salad. Ashley very graciously said there was no issue and started eating only some potatoes and rice. The night went on with my mother making increasingly evident snide comments and me getting increasingly angry about it. The final straw was when she made an extremely homophobic remark towards Ashley. All of the table went silent, with my brother and father immediately reproaching her, but I had enough, stood up from the table, thanked them for dinner and informed them we'd be leaving.

I was livid. I don't care about comments made towards me, I have thick skin, but messing with my gf crossed the line. As we're headed for the door my mom starts saying she's sorry, and that it was just a joke and to please come back and sit down. I simply looked at her and told her if there was one thing I ever admired her for is the way she stood up for my dad. It didn't matter if she was hating him or loving him, if anybody dared to disrespect him, she'd bite, and she was crazy if she thought I was going to stay seated when she had made the both of us feel unwelcome, and when she had so blatantly disrespected Ashley, who had been nothing but kind all evening. I told her unless she wanted to make things right with the both of us, I had no interest in talking to her ever again. She stood there dumbfounded and we took our leave.

I have been feeling awful. I know what she's like, but some part of me thought this was the beginning of us becoming close again, and I was very sad and disappointed about the disastrous evening. My father called me the day after and said that while he agrees my mother's comment was out of line, making a scene wasn't that necessary, and that because of what I said to her she has been crying nonstop. He said me using the way they raised me against her was out of pocket, and he thought we should both apologize to each other. I talked to my brother and he thinks she had it coming and says he's only sorry he didn't stand up and leave too.

I'm unsure what to do. While I do stand with the fact she had no right to treat Ashley the way she did, I also understand it isn't terribly easy for her to be accepting of me, and I wonder if maybe I was too harsh. She's still my mom, you know? I might not like her right now, but I do love her, and I wonder if I took it too far due to the heat of the moment.

So, AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[tuiccim]

Wrecked (Part 1)

Pairing: Alpha Frank Castle x Omega Reader, Alpha Billy Russo x Omega Reader

Trigger Warnings: Discussion of infertility, attempted physical assault

Summary: When Frank Castle found his way to your small town bar, you thought you had finally found your Alpha despite being a "wrecked omega" but when his best friend, Billy Russo, blows through town, your world tilts on its axis. You thought you found your happy ending but was it just more wreckage for your life?

A/N: Thank you to my beta reader, @whisperlullaby

Wrecked Masterlist

You were peeling potatoes when you heard the rumble of Frank’s truck as it pulled up to the cabin. Was it strange you still felt nervous when he came home after all these months? Maybe because you were always waiting for the other shoe to drop. You weren’t an Omega that any “normal” Alpha would want, and you know that your relationship with Frank was born more out of solace and comfort than anything else. Still, you loved him and he seemed to love you. So, you smiled when you heard his gravelly voice call, “Hey babe.”

“Hey. I’m in the kitchen,” you reply. 

“Whatcha cookin’?” Frank asks as he sets his lunch box in its spot. 

“Just boring old meatloaf and mashed potatoes,” you smile at him over your shoulder. 

“Mmm, does that mean I get a meatloaf sandwich in my lunch tomorrow?” Frank sidles up behind you and rests his hands on your hips.

“If you like.”

“I like,” he confirms as he squeezes your hips suggestively. “Do I have time to shower?”

“You have about 30 minutes before it’s ready,” you confirm as you rinse the peeled potatoes. 

“Great,” he retreats to your bedroom and you immediately miss his warmth.

You had found each other by accident. He had come to your small town by chance. Many people passed through on their way to bigger towns but he decided to stay. He wandered into your bar, drank alone, talked but didn’t flirt as you tended to him, and ended up breaking up a fight between two alphas quite adeptly. You had been impressed and a little enticed until you noticed the claiming mark on his neck. Fully expecting him to disappear into the night, you were surprised when he showed up again the next night. And the one after that. You had joked that you should hire him as a bouncer and he had laughed but then asked if anyone in town was hiring. Referring him to the two places you knew were looking, you poured him a congratulatory drink when he told you he had landed a spot. You remember back to that time…

Close to the end of the night, you were cutting off a young alpha who took offense. You were used to handling drunks and thought you had defused the situation when he walked away from the bar. A few of his friends ribbed him and the group left just as you announced last call. You shut down, counted out, and sent the rest of your staff home. As the daughter of a prominent alpha and known as a rejected and broken omega, you felt secure in the town. Perhaps that was a bit of your own arrogance. You had just made it to your car when you were slammed against it by a large body and your head was pulled to one side by the grip in your hair. 

Alcohol laden breath spoke in your ear, “You need to learn your place, ‘mega.”

“Get off of me!” You yelled, bucking against his hold. 

“Don’t worry. I don’t wanna fuck the wrecked omega. I’m just gonna give you the beating your daddy never did. Pathetic, unfuckable thing you are, I’m surprised he let you live. Shoulda- Agh!” The young alpha’s words cut off by his own scream. 

You’re pulled roughly to the ground by his grip in your hair but roll away from him quickly and scoot out of his range. He’s holding onto his side and you look up at the tire iron gripped in a strong hand. Following it up, you see Frank and breathe a sigh of relief. Frank is obviously not done yet as he lands another blow to the alpha’s stomach then one across the face.

He stops and leans over his prey, “Is that something like the beating your daddy never gave you? I ever see you here again, I’ll kill you. Understand?” 

When no answer comes, Frank raises the tire iron for another swing but the other alpha holds his hands up and wheezes, “Yes!”

“Get the fuck out of here!” Frank yells and watches as the man scrambles off into the darkness. Turning to you, he holds a hand out to help you up, “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah. Thank you,” you brush yourself off as you speak, trying to appear nonchalant but clearly shaken up. 

“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” Frank grouses at you. 

“I’m fine. That’s the first time-”

“It only takes one time. You have to be more careful,” Frank interrupts. 

“I- I’m fine,” you say again. You drop your keys because your hands are shaking and pick them up only to drop them again. 

“Hey,” Frank covers your hands with his.

“I’m fine,” you whisper again, trying to hide the tears that were threatening to fall. 

“Hey, look at me,” Frank pulls you around to look at him. His face softens as he sees the unshed tears in your eyes, “You’re not fine. Let me take you home.” 

You surrender your keys to him and nod. You tell him what direction to head in and silence stretches between you until you can stand it no longer. “So, Frank, what’s your story?”

“What do you mean?” Frank hedges. 

“I mean a lone alpha wandering into town and staying isn’t very common. What brought you here? What made you stay?”

“My truck. A good bar that pours a stiff drink and a job,” Frank replies. 

“Okay, then,” you recognize when someone doesn’t want to talk about their past. 

“How long have you worked at the bar?” Frank asks. 

“I own the bar,” you retort. 

“How long have you owned the bar?”

“Since the last owner sold it to me,” you sass. 

Frank surprises you by letting a laugh rumble out of his chest and you can’t help the smile that quirks your lips. His scent is suddenly stronger in the small space of your car, not hidden by the scents of the bar. It’s enticing and warm. You feel yourself responding to it and clench your thighs. 

“Didn’t seem like that was your first fight. Army?” You guess. 

“Marines.”

“Oorah,” you glance over at him and as headlights pass you see the mating mark on his neck again. It’s faded but definitely there. “Where’s your mate?” 

Frank’s entire demeanor shifts as if a darkness had covered him entirely. He growls, “Gone.”

“I’m sorry,” you study your hands. Feeling awkward at having obviously brought up a painful subject. 

“She and both my pups were killed. Car crash,” he says quietly. 

“I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine.”

“Since we’re on sore subjects, why are you a ‘wrecked omega’?” Frank glances over at you. 

“Turn left just past the highway sign up ahead,” you point out the sign. “Because I can’t have children. My mate rejected me because of it.”

“Sounds like a jackass,” Frank says. 

“He was from another pack. My father wanted me to lie to him but I couldn’t and I understood when he decided to reject me. He was very kind about it but the reason got out. It’s common knowledge that I’m broken. Take the next right and then the third left.”

“Guess that makes two of us,” Frank says reflectively. 

“What?”

“Nothing,” Frank shakes his head as he takes the turns. 

“Um, you’ll cross over some train tracks and then a bridge. It’ll be the next house on the right,” you explain. He nods but remains silent. You knot your fingers while trying to think of something to say. You’re relieved when you go over the bridge a few minutes later and the front porch light on your cabin shines like a beacon. “That’s it,” you point.

He parks the car, hands you the keys, and walks you to the front steps. You go up and unlock the door. Turning back, you wait for him to follow you inside. 

“I’ll, uh, see you tomorrow night,” Frank turns to walk away. 

“What are you doing?” You ask, confused. 

“I’ll just walk back,” he shrugs. 

“It’s over five miles back to town,” you say incredulously.

“I’ll be alright.”

“I’m not letting you walk back to town. Let’s go,” you tilt your head towards the house. 

“I-”

“I can’t be alone right now, please,” you say in hopes of convincing him. 

“Okay,” he says as he climbs the steps. 

You let him in and then lock the door behind you. You take your boots off, hang up your bag, and head to the kitchen as you decide you need a drink. “Would you like something?” You ask as you pour yourself a glass of wine.

“Got anything stronger?”

“I have everything stronger,” you scoff playfully. 

“Whiskey?” Frank smirks.

“Ice?”

“Nah.”

You pour him two fingers of the liquor and hand it over. Studying him over the rim of your glass, you wonder what else there was to this stranger. He was good-looking and seemed decent. You hope he is considering you just invited him into your house. 

“Got an extra pillow and blanket?” He asks. 

“What for?”

“I’ll sleep on the couch.”

You lean over the counter and give him a look, “I told you I didn’t want to be alone tonight.” 

Frank leisurely lets his eyes slide down to peak at the cleavage your position was clearly showing off and smirked, “You sure?”

“Yeah, Marine. I mean, if you think you can handle me,” you toss the words over your shoulder as you walk to your bedroom. 

“Oorah,” Frank grins as he follows you. 

The two of you fell into a routine. He came to the bar for a drink after work, stayed until last call, and you invited him back to your place. After a couple of weeks, you offered him a key saying that working all day and then staying at the bar until close each night had to be exhausting. If he wanted, he could wait for you at the cabin. If he was still awake when you got home, you fucked. If he was asleep, he usually woke you up fucking you the next morning. He was insatiable and you enjoyed it more than you cared to admit. You had never had the sole attention of an alpha for any time outside of your heat (which was a bane seeing as your body still went through it despite your inability to conceive) and the betas you had dated never seemed to stick around long. Even they didn't want the broken omega.

In the time Frank had been with you, he gave every indication of being a good man who wanted a simple life. Despite his seeming contentment, you often wondered why he stayed and when he would decide to go. He knew you could never give him kids and in the times you’d seen him with them, he seemed entirely natural. He would be an amazing father, had been an amazing father you were sure. And it ate at you. Why did he stay? Your fear wouldn’t let you ask because that may hasten his leaving you. You never discussed your relationship. You just lived it everyday and, for the most part, you were happy. 

But your heat was coming soon. It would be his second time seeing you through it and it was just another reminder of  your brokenness. You would have to bring it up. 

Setting dinner on the table, you jump when you feel a hand on your backside, “Oh! How does a man your size move so quietly?”

Frank chuckles, “Maybe cause I’m barefoot.”

You laugh with him as he wiggles his toes. Most see the quiet, stoic side of this man but you’ve been allowed to see the funny and sweet side of him. It’s what made you love him. After you’d both eaten a bit, you broach the subject on your mind. 

“There’s something we need to talk about.”

“Uh-oh. What’d I do?”

“It’s not you. It’s me.”

“Heard that before,” Frank’s brow furrows. 

“My heat is coming in the next few weeks,” you say nervously. 

“Okay…”

“Will you, um, help me through it?”

“Yeah. Why are you asking? Is there someone else you want to help you or something?”

“No! I just didn’t want to assume.”

“You didn’t want to assume that I’d take care of my Omega?” Frank asks, clearly offended. 

“You’ve never called me that before,” you say in surprise. 

“I’ve called you that plenty,” Frank shrugs.

“You’ve called me ‘mega, occasionally Omega, but you’ve never called me yours. Never ‘my Omega’.”

“Never, huh?”

“No,” you whisper, looking away. Guilt and shame welled in you for even bringing it up. 

“What is it you want from me, my Omega?”

You glance up at him. His face is curious but not angry as you feared he would be, “What do you mean?”

“Do you want me to mate you?” Frank asks as he takes another bite of his dinner. 

“No!” You say a little too forcefully. Seeing Frank’s brows draw together, you babble, “I don’t expect that from you. I know I’m not what an Alpha wants, since I can’t have kids. I’m not asking you for anything. Just… just to see me through my heat.” You didn’t expect it from him. You didn’t expect any Alpha to mate you. Neither of you had even said I love you. You do love him and you think he feels something for you but you would never tell him. You wouldn’t try to force him into being stuck with you. 

“I will. You would be safer if you were mated. With the bar and everything,” Frank says as he forks another bite. 

“I know but there aren’t many Alphas or even Betas out there that would take a mate who can’t have kids,” you say a bit exasperated. 

“Then I’ll mate you,” Frank says quietly. 

Your heart swells and breaks in the same moment, “No, Frank. I know you well enough to know you want children again. I know you want to protect me but I won’t take your future from you.”

“I’m happy here with you. That’s enough for me,” Frank insists. 

“Frank-”

“I’m mating you when your heat comes,” Frank interrupts before taking the last bite of his food and getting up to put his plate in the sink, effectively cutting off the conversation. He looks back and gestures to your half eaten plate, “Finish up and I’ll do the dishes.”

“I’m done,” you hand the plate to him and stand awkwardly. You aren’t sure what to say or even what you feel. You try to think of something that will take this feeling away that you’re going to ruin his future and the feeling that you were a settlement rather than a choice. You decide to pour yourself a glass of wine. 

“You, uh, remember me telling you about my friend, Billy?” Frank asks as he sloshes water in the sink. You would never understand why he won’t use the dishwasher. One of his idiosyncrasies. 

“Russo, right? He owns a security company?” You try to remember the details of the conversation you’d had about the man. 

“Yeah, he called me today,” Frank pauses.

“...About something in particular?”

“He’s gonna pass through the area next week and wanted to stop here for a few days. Catch up,” Frank explains. 

“Oh, okay. I’ll clean up the guest room for him,” you say. 

“I can put him at the motel,” Frank hedges. 

“He doesn’t know about me?” You ask, voice hollow.

“He knows. I just don’t want you to feel obligated to put him up,” Frank grouses. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. Clearing your throat, you say, “Of course, your friend can stay here. Um, is there anything I can make that he likes?”

“Just keep the good whiskey out and he’ll be happy,” Frank smiles. 

It lightens your heart and you finally feel able to take a deep breath, “That I can do.”

“Oh, and Bill’s a flirt. Don’t be surprised if he teases you.”

“Noted. You should bring him up to the bar. Cecily’s supposed to be back next week, too,” you smile as you watch Frank make a face. A long-time friend who is quite the social butterfly and ends up at your bar more often than not, had tried to rouse Frank’s interest when he first blew into town but he had ignored her attempts and played off her flirtations. She had been out of town for a while but had recently texted that she would be returning. 

“Oh, god, no. Those two would create havoc together,” Frank shakes his head. 

You laugh, feeling more relaxed, “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, Bill can be a bit of a troublemaker, too,” Frank confirms.

“Oh, I hope they are here at the same time. I could use some entertainment.”

“Your funeral,” Frank laughs as he shakes his head. 

“Do you know when next week?”

“Nope. He’s not great at specifics,” Frank shrugs. 

“Well, I’ll have the room and a bottle of whiskey at the ready,” you smile. 

Frank smiles back as he dries his hands and prowls towards you. 

“What’s that look about, Marine?” You narrow your eyes and move deftly around the couch.

Frank gives a low, gravelly laugh before rumbling out, “Oorah.” He begins to chase after you with a teasing, predatory glint in his eye. 

“Frank!” You yell as you round the couch and stay out of his reach. 

He wanted a chase and you were more than happy to oblige him. Some feral, primal part of him occasionally took hold and it was thrilling when it did. He stalked you like prey around the living room until you made a break for the back door. You fly through it with him hot on your heels. Running parallel to the creek by your cabin, you make it to the tree line and weave around the trunks. He doesn’t know the woods as well as you but he’s faster. It was only a matter of time before he’d catch up. You stop to listen for a moment but know you can’t stay still long. Hearing nothing, you decide to change directions but your mistake is discovered quickly when his arm wraps around your middle and you’re lifted off your feet momentarily. You laugh and turn in his arms to face him. He kisses you and you use the opportunity to push him while his guard is down. Something you’d never done before. He stumbles over the tree roots and you turn to run again. He catches your ankle and you go down but you manage to kick his hand away and get to your feet. You can hear him half growl, half laugh at this turn of events. You thread your way through the trees again and then skirt the edge of the creek before doubling back towards the house. You were nearly back to the tree line when your momentum was suddenly brought up short and you landed with your back against a tree. Frank’s body pinned you in place as his hands ripped open his fly. He pulls your clothing away with no patience and within seconds has your legs wrapped around him as he enters your body. 

The first thrust is pure bliss. You were thoroughly wet from the excitement of the chase and he roared as he took you. He pounded into you, railing you against that tree. You clutched at him, nails raking across his shoulders and body bowed as your orgasm built. 

“Alpha, oh fuck!” You cried out as you felt your body spasm around him. The orgasm slammed through you with the same hard persistence as his cock. A few more jerky thrusts and he was groaning his release. He holds you in place as your breathing returns to normal. 

After a moment, you murmur in his ear, “Maybe I should call you caveman instead of marine.”

Frank laughs as he gently pulls away from you, “If I was a caveman, I’d just hit you over the head with a club and drag you to the bedroom by your hair.”

“Mmm, true. Guess I’ll just stick to calling you marine,” you lean in and kiss him. 

Making your way back to the house, you look up at the first stars beginning to appear as the sun sets and make a wish. It was a stupid, silly wish that you’d made over and over again since you were a young girl. One that would never come true for a broken omega. As you looked over at the Alpha you were sharing your life with, you wondered why you still wished it. He was more than you ever believed you could have. So, why wasn’t it enough?

Part 2

Please follow my sideblog @tuiccimfanfiction​ for update notifications. All series and new stories will be reblogged to it. You will only receive notifications when a new part or story is out! Nothing else will be blogged to the page. I can’t thank you enough for your support!

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Crazy Cars

Debut: WarioWare, Inc.: Mega Microgame$!

I hate cars. Wretched contraptions! Wretched infrastructure! Far too dangerous for any average schmuck to have total control over. Thankfully, WarioWare has asked the question of "what if cars were sillyfunny instead? What if they were goofy? And what if they were trying to kill Wario and nobody else?". And they made a bunch of wacky cars! And now I will share them with you, using the updated sprites from Gold! Sorry it the wheel placements are a few pixels off. It's ok.

Shark Car is the main character of the funny cars! You've heard of shark faces painted onto warplanes to make them more intimidating (which is hilarious. If that intimidates someone then they would be fooled by a moth's eyespots) but this car is an entire shark, upon some wheels! A speeding car would be a very bad thing to be struck by, and potentially even worse if that car is a shark. Imagine such a high speed chomp! Jeepers! But also imagine it hits you with its nose and gets a little disoriented after you get sent flying. It was having so much fun driving its self!

Next is Hot Dog Car! Or maybe a different kind of sausage, because it's so girthy. What's so funny? Stop laughing! I didn't mean it like that! I would never say "penis" in one of these posts. This Fast Frank is very endearing to me for how it looks like a novelty car for a hot dog vendor to drive! You just know a hot dog vendor in Bikini Bottom would drive one of these babies.

My favorite of the original trio! Potato Car! This is the tallest of the three, but also the shortest in a width sense. For whatever reason, some cars get regular green wheels, while others get yellow wheels that squash and stretch like a cartoon. Potato is always a splendid and funny thing to see in any situation, including barreling down the road to kill you! Shark, Hot Dog, and Potato are an interesting trio. Shark and Hot Dog are both made of meat. Hot Dog and Potato are both basic foods. Shark and Potato both have a bunch of little dots (potato eyes, and ampullae of Lorenzini). And what do all three have in common? Wheels!

WarioWare Gold added three NEW funny cars! The first is Lightbulb, which is honestly the least interesting to me, so instead I will use this paragraph to say that the funny cars can be Tricky. Sometimes instead of just driving, they will jump! It is very hard to react to. But sometimes, the usual "Dodge!" prompt will be replaced with "Dodge?" and the car will suddenly stop, and then either reverse or stay still for the remainder of the time. I hope that if you thought these funny cars were simply being pushed from offscreen, you now believe that they have free will.

Teapot Car has a trick up its spout...! Sometimes, it will stop, but rather than reversing, its lid will open, and spit out a smaller teapot car! The previously discussed cars have all had tiny versions that can spawn, but Teapot Car is the only one that releases its baby into the world before our eyes. Maybe the others come out of funny car birth canals off screen. Tiny cars will just bounce of Wario if they touch him, giving this microgame quite a few unloseable variants! I don't care about the challenge, though, I care about the funny cars! And I've saved the best for last!

This is not just "Door Car". This one has been given a name, as it appears in the Wario Kard minigame as an opponent. This is Door to Nowhere! A door is already a pretty silly thing to be hurtling toward you dangerously. Just move to the side a bit. But are you forgetting about Door's Special Attack? Door can open! And this door can stop rolling, but then open, and release another car out of itself! I really love the concept of portable cartoon passages like this. I don't see it often, and the only other one that comes to mind is the portable hole teleport feature from ToonTown, but it is so whimsical!

That is all for this post! Good bye! *enters a door that then drives away*

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

pt II our flag means death but I've never watched it

HELLO OFMD FANDOM! It's the Good Omens Mascot and Resident Dumbass, back again for part II. First, let's clear the air of all controversy!

Some of you lovely maggots were kind enough to warn me about certain discourse about a salad spoon and also about a certain gentleman named Izzy. I was warned not to make assumptions and not to take sides, and I hear some members had to leave the fandom for a while because it got toxic. Maggots. All the rest of you. Worry not about me. I'm here to unite the OFMD fandom! How, you ask? By being so undeniably stupid in my own opinions that you all will have to unite to disagree with me. You underestimate the power of my dumbassery. Well, let's not dilly dally and dawdle, here's the updated summary:

I have been informed there is cannibalism on this ship but it is not real. Someone pretends to eat someone and then their wife helps them fake their death while they run away from the ship though their lover wanted them to run to China.

There are BDSM lesbians, which is honestly such a slay, Pinterest has let me down by not informing me of that when I made Part I. I will no longer be using Pinterest a reliable source in future academic essays.

Mermaid Stede performs necromancy while a song called Kate Bush plays (I don't know who this is, a politician? Idk whether of US or UK).

Gravy Basket is a destination and Buttons is a sea witch and there is educational stabbing. Buttons is then a bird because of the BDSM lesbians.

There is a lady who is extremely beautiful and intimidating and powerful and she has twenty husbands and I assumed incorrectly that you were all talking about a Jack Russel terrier.

Let's start with the controversy! Izzy. Secondary protagonist or antagonist? Good or bad? Kindly father figure or homoerotically charged friend? Necessary death or not? No no no. Behold:

I present a new question, a hot take sizzling from the pan: Did Izzy really exist?

Personally, I firmly believe that no, he did not. I believe that the rum on the ship was spiked with hallucinogens.

Izzy was simply the manifestation of Ed's Freudian subconscious, taking the shape of a human being, vaguely resembling a humanoid potato Ed was forced to boil as a kid. I was a psychology student with a final grade of 99% and I accept only destructive criticism on my posts thank you. Feel free to discuss whether he boiled the potato in a fit of rage or whether he was forced to.

There are assorted Ned's, Mary's and an uncertain number of Jeff's on ship.

One of the Jeff's is an accountant, and there is a nonbinary talking sword named Jim. Actually I'm not sure if they talk.

Love you all, rooting for the show to be renewed.

REMINDERS. Be polite to each other in the reblogs, on tumblr reblogs spread posts and not likes (which don't do anything for visibility) unlike other social media sites, but MOST IMPORTANTLY.

I ACCEPT ONLY DESTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, THIS BLOG IS A GODLESS, LAWLESS LAND, AND ALL RAGE AT EACH OTHER MUST BE REDIRECTED AT ME. UNDERSTOOD? YAY.

[tkingfisher]

I have a question I just thought of. I remember reading that the potato is something that you can discuss at length. I'm curious about the Irish potato famine (as it's called by many people) of 1845 - 52. The potato blight killed a whole load of potatoes, and blight warnings are still a thing today. But... honestly, why? Was just one variety of potato grown? If not, wouldn't different varieties have resisted? The only thing I'm even remotely familiar with is Panama Disease, which is killing off Cavendish bananas because they're all genetically identical - was that the case for the potatoes being grown at the time?

Oh boy. Okay, this is a huge complicated topic and I can only do the Cliff Notes version and even that is absurdly long, but here we go.

The cause of the Irish Potato Famine were, in order:

A) the British

B) the British but moreso

C) still the British but also capitalism

and

D) monoculture

I am not nearly so equipped to talk about A-C as many, many other people, so let’s talk about D.

Now, the humble potato is frankly one of the most glorious products of agricultural science ever created, for which we must thank the indigenous people of Peru, who produced some goddamn geniuses at potato breeding (and also figured out how to freeze-dry potatoes centuries before Idahoan.) The Incas had literally thousands of potato varieties, every size, shape, color, growing condition, right down to sacred potatoes only for consumption by the royal family. They did seriously epic shit with a weird little tuber, a feat perhaps only surpassed by the geniuses who made corn out of teosinte.

Quite a long time later—by which I mean about ten thousand years after the potato was domesticated—the Irish were growing a potato variety called the Lumper. It was a big, coarse, ugly-ass potato which apparently didn’t even taste that great. Irish farmers had other potatoes that they liked a lot better! But the Lumper had three things going for it—it gave huge yields, tolerated nutrient-poor soil, and it didn’t mind wet feet.

(Wet feet is the gardening term for plants with their roots in waterlogged soil. Most potatoes do not actually like wet feet and will rot. But the Lumper was fine with it, which meant that basically you could grow the things in poor soggy soil, which large swaths of Ireland had in generous supply.)

Because of a whole lot of really abusive shit by various landowners, a lot of Irish people ended up dependent on the Lumper for their diet, and I mean dependent. You can live for a really long time on cow’s milk and potatoes if you have to, and a potato that would produce massive yields in crappy wet soil was a godsend. So you had vast areas that were planted with just the Lumper. (There are some reports that other, better-tasting potato varieties were grown for the landlords, but while the workers dug them, they were not allowed to eat them. I can’t speak to the truth of this or not, but it’s definitely worth looking up a full history of the socioeconomics of the famine, if you ever happen to be feeling too good about the world and want to be crushed.)

Unfortunately, the Lumper has one other significant trait—it is extremely vulnerable to potato blight, a disease caused by Phytophtora infestans, which is a weird little thing called an oomycete. It’s more like a fungus than it is anything else, but it’s actually in a separate kingdom called Chromista. (Currently, anyway. Taxonomy is where idealistic young scientists go to become old before their time.) Nevertheless, for our purposes, let’s just call it a fungus. (Also, Chromista is a great name for an alicorn in My Little Pony.)

P. infestans loooooves members of the Solanum clan, which include tomatoes and potatoes. This love is not returned. In a tomato, it’s usually called late blight, in a potato, it’s potato blight, no matter what you call it, it’s bad news. It likes damp, cool conditions, and of course Ireland is basically one big damp cool condition, so once the blight got established, it was in heaven.

Blight on a potato takes about five days from start to finish. This sucker is FAST. One day there’s a blotch on a leaf, next day there’s some whitish stuff under a leaf, then the tubers are suddenly turning black and mushy and stink to high heaven. You may even think you got a good tuber and put it in storage and then you open the door to the root cellar and the whole bin has rotted practically overnight.

The spores can spread by wind, and once it landed on a potato plant, all it needed was like two days above fifty degrees with high humidity, and it was off and running. And it gets in the soil. But worst of all, it lives in the tubers themselves.

Potato cultivars, for those who don’t know, are almost always a clone of the parent. All Yukon Golds are basically the same Yukon Gold. You pop a tuber off a plant, you pop it in the ground, it grows another plant just like the first one, asexual reproduction at its finest.*

Now, potatoes can and do set seed, but there’s some variation even in a seed with two parents of the same variety. Two Yukon Golds might give you Yukon Goldish. Mix up multiple varieties and you don’t always know what you’re gonna get.** (I have grown potatoes from mixed seed and thus made my own cultivars, it’s fun, but the results are wildly variable. Some don’t set tubers at all, some contain high levels of solanine.***)

If you want specific, uniform varieties that all perform the same way, you probably use the tubers. More importantly, tubers start growing right away once you wake them up, whereas potato seedlings can be finicky and often won’t do anything impressive the first year.

To make matters more confusing, the little tuber clones are referred to as seed potatoes.

Anyway, back to the blight. Everybody was growing from little tuber clones, which could be infected with the blight. This means that if your seed potatoes are infected with blight, even if they look fine, if you plant them, your whole crop is infected. The minute you get a cool wet day, the oomcyte wakes up and goes to town. And if you leave an infected potato in the ground, it infects everybody else—and if you’ve ever dug potatoes, you know that you always, always miss one.

Well. The blight came, it hit the Lumper, and it spread like wildfire. The Lumper grew in the wet conditions the blight loved, and was also really susceptible to it, so it was a match made in hell. There were potato varieties even then that were more resistant to the blight, but they were tiny islands and a sea of blight was washing over them daily, so they eventually succumbed. Even if you planted a different potato, if it was in soil that had previously held the Lumper, it was likely doomed.

This is the problem with monocultures. You plant all one variety and it’s susceptible to some particular bug, when that bug hits, you have no fall back position. And potatoes, being more or less clones, are even more vulnerable than most seed-grown crops, and this bug is particularly nasty and the spring of ‘45 was exactly the right weather and the British government was being particularly evil and ultimately a million people starved to death because of a perfect storm.

The Lumper still exists. Somebody turned up some heirloom seeds back in 2008 and grew them out, and what they got is probably pretty close to the original. Being seed grown, it doesn’t carry the blight. It’s an ugly, watery, kinda waxy potato that even its champions think tastes sorta okay, I guess. Cultivariable, one of the few sources I can find, says that in addition to not being resistant to blight, it’s not resistant to anything else either, and there’s not much point in trying to grow it unless you have long dry summers and no local blight.

And that is the saga of the Lumper, the blight, and why I personally always plant at least four varieties of potato.

* There’s some subtleties here, but for layman’s purposes, we’ll go with this.

** It’s actually way complicated, but this is already hella long.

*** Same stuff that makes green potatoes toxic. Super bitter, so you know right away it’s inedible and spit it out. We still refer to taste-tasting the new crop from seed as “the Potato Suicide Pact” but it’s not actually dangerous.

[w4yf1nder]

very late secret santa present for @oshitgirlie !! (you better like dan heng) disclaimer: can be read as platonic, some xreader implied. gender neutral reader 💪

family is a touchy subject for dan heng.

as someone who has been alone for as long as he was, he felt like he was better off without a family. better off alone, even if it was so terribly lonely.

sure, the astral express took him in and he’s grateful for them but even so, he couldn’t help but be a little…withdrawn.

although, things have changed a little bit since you came around. for better or for worse, he couldn’t be so sure.

welt and himeko were content with staying out of whatever the rest of you were up to, much to dan heng’s chagrin because you and march 7th would always find a way to include him somehow.

and he wasn’t too far off the mark this time.

“what do you want?” he asks, expression almost bored as he stares you and march 7th down.

“we were planning on stopping by jarilo vi to pick up a christmas tree! do you want to come with?” march asks, eyes almost glittering with excitement.

he turns to you next and you seem to be wearing much the same expression as her.

he exhales loudly, the combined pressure of both of your expectant gazes breaking his resolve.

“just this one time.”

of course, that was a lie.

a few days later you’re knocking at his door.

“could you help us decorate the christmas tree? please, please, please?” and well, you said please three times so how could he say no?

and then there was, “we’re making wreaths for our doors! would you like to join us?” and alright, that one sounded a little bit intriguing so he did.

“we’re making a gingerbread house! wanna join?”,“christmas song karaoke!” and “we’re getting drunk and watching the worst hallmark movies ever made, you need to join.”

by the end of the hallmark movie marathon, dan heng’s mind was made. the next time you ask him to join you for a christmas-themed activity, he will say no.

another knock at his door, dan heng’s will is iron clad.

“come on loser, put on your best clothes, we’re having christmas dinner!” march 7th says.

dan heng sighs loudly, “for the love of– how many more christmas-themed activities do you guys have planned?”

“uh…just this one. we’re moving on to new year themed activities next week, of course.” she explains.

“that’s not what i–"

“there will be mashed potatoes, if that’s what you’re worried about.” you poke your head into the room.

“again, that’s not what i–“

“anyway, we’ll be heading out now. still need to check on mr. yang and himeko. you should put on that one suit you never wear.” march says while dragging you with her.

and…they’re gone.

dan heng sighs, if he isn’t ready by the time they’re back again he wouldn’t hear the end of it.

so he reluctantly, puts on a dress shirt. no blazer because that would be overkill.

true to their words, you knock on dan heng’s door again.

“you done? we’re all waiting for you.” he hears your voice on the other end, and he’s thanking his lucky stars that it’s just you and not march.

he opens the door, a brief pause ensues.

“so…new outfit, huh.” you comment awkwardly. of course you noticed.

“you too. march make you dress up?”

“yeah.”

“figures.” he says while walking with you towards the parlor room. it did seem like something she would pick out. it was a little…out there.

“you look good.” he says, off handedly as he holds the door open for you (you had a hard time explaining to march why you were looking like a tomato afterwards).

and so it goes.

march 7th started an intriguing discussion about which of the three had “eldest sibling energy” (as she put it), over dinner. (everyone one unanimously agreed that it was dan heng).

pompom was wounded by your assumption that they would be the family pet, mr. yang turned out to be a lightweight, you and march 7th were incredibly engrossed in your debate about whether or not mariah carey really was the queen of christmas…and overall, it was terrible.

dan heng wasn’t supposed to find this entire situation amusing. and, he would’ve probably gotten up and left already on any other day.

“dan heng! back me up here, there’s no way you’d let them slander the queen, would you?” a question from march 7th breaks him out of his reverie.

“if anyone deserves the title of christmas royalty, it’s bing crosby and we all know that. i’m sorry you’re delusional.” you shoot back, looking at him for support.

and dan heng can’t help the small smile on his face when he realizes that you’re both trying to include him, yet again.

how many times has this happened now?

“oi, anyone in there?” an intrusive tap on his head and it all comes crashing down. perhaps, he gives you guys more credit than it’s due.

his stern glare is back on his face again, “what?”

“now that’s more like it! anyway, we were saying–“

and as christmas dinner comes to a close, he really isn’t so mad anymore. perhaps he will be, when you’re both knocking on his door for the nth time tomorrow, “transitioning to new year themed activities” (as march put it).

but for tonight? he’s content with watching the chaos go down.

[imagines-to-quench-thirst]

5 Times, He Knew

A new series when your man just knew that you were the one for him

yay, I came out of my den and finally wrote something. sorry guys but it was a very hectic 6 months for me a lot of things happened and I found myself not writing at all but I will try to be more active. apologize and sending you kisses MAIN MASTERLIST.

1. Coffee order

Coffee was Clark's lifeline, ever since adapting to the new city, moving from FarmVille to Metropolis. Coffee, freshly roasted coffee, was his ticket to calmness. When he met you in a coffee shop, he enjoyed the way you considered your coffee important in the day as much as he did.

Bit by bit, coffee by coffee, you two grew close. Relationship close. Small dates turned into night-long discussions about the anime Perfect Blue, lunches that were way longer than the prescribed 45-minute break from work, and drinks in the night, which ensued a little sneaky session in Clark's truck.

Remembering all the small details about you, your routine, your memberships that drain your card, some of which he reminds you to unsubscribe since you don't use them, places you go to calm and relax. Even when he is patrolling, flying through the clouds, he likes to ensure you are safe. Most of the time, listen in on your conversations with your friends while you say components about your man.

But one of the things that makes him a winner in your books is… you remember his coffee order.

white decaf mocha with one pump of caramel syrup and whipped cream on top with chocolate sprinkles

Once, when you came to him after work home, you brought coffee for the two of you. You knew about Clark, you knew about Superman, and you knew about Kal-El, and all of them liked coffee. When you offered the coffee to Clark, reciting the coffee order without hesitation, he swore he fell in love all over again.

'But that's not all. I have something else.' 'What?' 'A pupicino for Krypto!"

Scratch that; Clark was already in his mind buying you a ring.

2. Bachelor watch time

Clark is a romantic person; he is cheesy... so cheesy it borderlines into date-time reality shows, ei The Bachelor. A man/woman who has a harem of people fighting over their hearts and while some drama and unforgettable moments ensue, sign him up. He enjoys watching Bachelorette and Bachelor and especially enjoys watching re-runs with you. He enjoys the way he can talk to you about it, tell you his theories about the contestants, and say his thoughts about the outfits.

Clark enjoys talking about the show after, slicing his ideas for dates on the show more so going far to write a draft for a new episode. Clark loves to spill his thoughts when the roses are given. He loves the way he can talk about it to you with no shame. It is a guilty pleasure; he knows it is. But it feels so good. Clark speaks about it like it is fine art---

'Have you seen the way Rachel looked at Ashley? The stare was so intense. I've got goosebumps, literal goosebumps.'

"The way Micheal gave the rose to Michele and said the wrong name! Such an idiot. I would never forget your name."

'He is talking to like 20 ladies. Name swaps are bound to happen.' 'Tomato potato.' 'That's not how the saying goes, Clark.' "I lived on a farm."

But what Clark enjoys when you talk to him about it. That interaction about it, a safe space for him to talk about it when sometimes you match his energy about it.

3. Dog Walks

They say "People who your dog doesn't like, don't be around them"- a very smart person (me)

But that wasn't your case. Krypto adored you, and you adored Krypto. More so than Clark, but don't tell him that. Krypto enjoyed your company and loved the dog walks with you leading him.

Clark loved you, so when he was ready, he had you met his trusted family member…

"Darling, I want to warn you beforehand. Krypto is a great boy, but he might growl a bit. So when he does that, go behind me." "Okay." with an anxious door opening, Krypto sat in front of the door wagging his tail at Clark's chosen partner walking with few steps, licking the inviting hand. And after that first contact, it was pure love and compassion.

Clark knew that Krypto was a great judge of character, but sometimes Clark felt a bit jealous.

Even now, when he cruised along Metropolis, checking if any daytime crimes were happening around the Metrolois central park. No crimes, just you and Krypto walking side by side in the park. A sight that called a smile upon his face. Lowering himself behind a tree, he wanted to see it better, even with his perfect vision. Seeing Krpyto enjoy the ball being thrown for him as he ran to catch it while you laughed and called him sweetly into your arms. Clark didn't have a big family, he had his lovable parents back in Smallville but no one else in the Metropolis. So, having you and Krypto, he thanked his lucky stars each night, knowing that having a small and meaningful family was all he needed.

Sure, he knew that Krypto loved you more than the caped superhero, but no one could blame him for that.

Clark was also crazy for you too.

4. Moving In

After deciding that you two would live together, Clark was the ever-helpful mover packing each box and happily carrying it into your shared apartment, feeling excited about the new chapter in his life.

Making a big step like this was everything Clark wanted, normal steps suited for his story. Placing down the boxes, Clark felt a sweet relief in the empty apartment that was bare and empty with only Clark, Krypto, and you.

Clark didn't care that the apartment was empty and that there was no bed but only an air mattress. All he wanted was you and him, and Krypto. He was a lovesick fool.

"What's with the grin?" "Nothing… I just love you…" "And I love you too… now the fun part begins…. Ikea furniture set up…" "oh no……"

5. First Dance

Clark was no dancer; the big guy had two left feet. He was constantly bullied and never picked for the Smallville Corn Night dance.

When moving to Metropolis, he never gave it much thought, leaving them to collect dust in his brain. So when he met you, he was a bit confused about why you were dancing in the kitchen while making pasta. Okay… it was more so hips swaying and bit of humming, but for our non-dancing boy, that was full-on dance-breaking.

"Why are you dancing in the kitchen?" "Dancing? What do- oh you mean this?" "Yes." "Well…while I wait for the pasta to cook I like to dance a little. You don't dance?" "…." "Then dance with me. I will show you."

Taking his hand, you lead Clark a bit, his steps mixing a bit as you guided him while soft Spanish music plays in the background. Feeling a bit out of his element, Clark looked into your eyes, seeing the way they sparkled and your signature smile that he loved to the ends of the universe. Feeling him move in a circle slowly and gently with you, he didn't mind as much now that he was dancing in the kitchen.

In that moment, he felt understood, not made fun off, but rather being shown something new that he can enjoy with you. Enjoy it with you.

[ghouly-boiiiii]

THE GHOUL: WHY HE'S HOT - (A SCIENCE!)

࣪⊹°˖✧ Welcome to a Powerpoint Presentation by Some Ghoul-Loving Freak ✧˖° ⊹

Why is The Ghoul hot? I think many of us who find ourselves swooning over this necrotic, murdering cowboy have been asking ourselves that very question lately. Is there something wrong with me? Do I need therapy? Will my friends ever look at me the same way again? Well my fellow ghoul lovers, you are not alone. And I am here to explain to you the exact reasons why this gun-slingin’, ass bitin’ baked potato with teeth has captured the hearts of so many... with science! (sort of) 🤠

------(Spoiler warning... lots and lots of spoilers below the cut!)------

1. Walton Goggins… just Walton Goggins

I think we can all agree that the man behind the makeup and prosthetics is a large reason as to what makes The Ghoul so attractive. Walton himself is a very nice looking fellow, and he absolutely oozes charisma, both on the set and off. And for some reason decided to amp that up to 100 while playing The Ghoul. He managed to make Ghouly Boi likable and endearing, even when he's doing murdery things. So yeah, the dude's mad talented.

"Strong enough to keep out the rads... and the reds." - Cooper Howard shooting a Vault-Tec commercial in episode 6.

2. The makeup artists knew what they were doing

Attempting to make The Ghoul “kind of hot” was absolutely intentional. There was serious discussion behind the scenes about how they could make The Ghoul attractive to viewers, despite him being… well… a ghoul. (So yeah, it is 100% the creators fault. They did this to us on purpose!) When creating The Ghoul’s design, they deliberately ghoulified features that weren’t that important for attraction and left the rest alone, or made them more accentuated.

For example, when it comes to the attractiveness of a male, specifically in the face, most people focus in on the eyes, lips, jaw and cheekbones, which they emphasized and brought out with the makeup. Things like the nose, hair and even skin can be safely tinkered with, and even with those they went pretty easy on. Many ghouls have cloudy or discolored eyes, but not Ghouly. (in fact, bro’s still got his eyelashes, lol) They also kept his ears, despite most ghouls’ tending to fall off just like the nose. His teeth are still intact, despite being rather discolored. And they even made his skin relatively smooth compared to most ghouls. (I’m willing to bet he gets made fun of in a lot of ghoul circles for being such a baby smooth smoothskin)

If the creators had made him any uglier - messed up his eyes, took away the ears, rotted out some teeth, or made his skin a lot more torn up - we might not be here right now. But the character designers and makeup artists were very intentional in his appearance, making him look rotten enough to be recognized as a ghoul, but not so nasty he’d be hard to look at. By keeping and even accentuating Walton’s eyes and bone structure, while giving the ghoulishness to other features, they managed to balance out the ‘yuk’ with the ‘hmmm… wait what?’ just right.

"Sometimes a fella's gotta eat a fella." - The Ghoul to Lucy while munchin' on Roger in episode 4.

3. His charisma, charm and sense of humor

Look, Ghouly is charming as FUCK, okay? There’s no getting around it, so let’s just get that out of the way right now. He exudes confidence and beats you in the face with his overwhelming swag. He also has these… looks. Which I can only describe as “sexy” looks. I’m not really sure how to explain, but if you’re reading this, you probably know what I mean.

As mentioned before, a lot of this is just Goggins being Goggins, but the writing is brilliant as well. He definitely embodies that sort of hot badboy/outlaw/pirate sort of archetype that is often found in romantic settings/stories, so yeah. And also, who doesn't love a man with a great sense of humor? He's got all the best lines in the show and is just a joy to watch, even if it's just for the funny. Really, whoever wrote for Ghouly was a comedic genius, a gentleman, and a scholar. They should be commended.

"I'd offer you one a' these cherreh tomaydas, but you got a hole on yo neck." - The Ghoul to some guy he just shot in episode 2.

4. He loves dogs

Okay, so yes, we all know he stabs Dogmeat in order to keep her from ripping his face off, which ALMOST ruined his character for me, but then he brought her back with a Stimpak and all was forgiven. I’m willing to bet he probably also tried to stab her in a place that he knew wouldn’t be fatal, and also his choice to stab instead when he could have easily just shot her, letting her get right up on top of him before doing anything to defend himself, shows his hesitation in harming a dog.

It’s clear that Coop has a lot of affection for dogs, especially when we see the flashbacks of him with his OG dog and how pissed he gets about not being able to bring him into the vaults. The way he handles Dogmeat with such loving care, and smiles with genuine joy as she leaps up off the table was one of the first moments to show that, underneath that hardened exterior, he’s still got a soft, squishy, gooey center (other than the rotting flesh, I mean).

"Who decided that there were no dogs in the vault?" - Cooper to his wife upon finding out their dog Roosevelt wouldn't be able to go to the vault with them in episode 6.

5. He's a genuinely good person, deep down...

Not only does he save the dog (twice), but Ghouly also did other things that were surprisingly unselfish and not awful. Does that make up for the bad shit he did? Well, no. But again, it shows that he’s at least not ALL bad, and that the man he use to be is still in there somewhere.

For example, he could have easily ratted out Lucy for busting up the Super Duper Mart, but he took the heat for it instead. And despite the fact that he shoots (and eats) Roger, he does seem to have genuine empathy for the turning ghoul. So his choice to kill him wasn’t completely selfish, but also an act of mercy. Roger was essentially dying anyway, and Cooper saved him from an arguably worse fate than death. He even took a moment to remind Roger of a happy memory before doing the deed, a scenario reminiscent of the book Of Mice And Men, when George shoots Lenny at the end after reminding him of their dream in order to save him from a worse fate as well.

And let's not forget that before the bombs dropped, Cooper struggled to even fake kill a man on screen while shooting a film, not wanting his character to go down such a dark path. This shows that he was once a man who lived by a code of morals and principals, so much so that just the idea of stepping outside of that made him deeply uncomfortable, even if it was just pretend. This is why Cooper gives Lucy the line, "Oh, I'm you, sweetie. Just... give it a little time." Because he sees himself in her, or rather the person he used to be.

One of the things I love about how Cooper’s story is told is that we get to see his present and past self right away, juxtaposed against each other. His backstory isn’t revealed as a surprise later on. Instead we really get to see up front the complexities of his character that make him so compelling. He’s not just some heartless killer. He’s like this because he’s been through so much pain, and pushed to the point where he was forced to become something he's not in order to survive and carry on. Because of this, it makes The Ghoul a lot more likable and relatable than he would have been otherwise. It also kinda lets you put yourself in his shoes and ask yourself what you would do if you found yourself in his position. Actually brilliant writing, in my opinion.

"Do I have to kill him?" - Cooper to the director of the film he's shooting in Episode 3.

6. That tragic backstory

This is where the character of Cooper Howard really got me in the feels. Not only does Ghouly love dogs, but he loves his family too. And it’s revealed at the end of the season that even after 200+ years, they are still on his mind. He’s spent over two centuries looking for them, and putting himself through absolute hell, because he loves them that much. And not just his daughter, but his wife as well. Even though they had gotten divorced, presumably because of what he learned at the end of the season. Maybe he’s even hoping his old dog is still alive somehow, although that’s admittedly very unlikely...

So... you know what that means... Although he’s done horrible things, Cooper is a man driven by LOVE. He's stayed alive because of LOVE. He does these bad things because of LOVE. He’s become a monster IN THE NAME OF LOVE!!! It’s all about the power of LOVE, you guys. Call it cliché, but if that isn’t romantic as hell, I donno what the fuck is, ladies.

"Now, I've waited over 200 years to ask somebody one question... Where's my fuckin' family?" - Cooper to Hank in Episode 8

In Conclusion

So yes. He's ugly. He's mean. He's murdery. Kinda toxic AF. But that doesn't mean he can't also be a sexy motherfucker as well. 👍

He's a fictional character. It's a fantasy, and fantasies are allowed to be kinda fucked up. 😃 Hey, don't ask me why humans human the way we do. I didn't make us, so I don't know. It's all in good fun though, so let's just enjoy ourselves and try not to think too hard about it, eh? 😆 (So says the person who literally just wrote a fucking essay on the subject)

Alright, well... I guess that's about it. Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk. I hope this helped anyone who was feeling their sanity slip a little bit (like me 😃). Refreshments and resources are at the back. Exits to your left. Have a lovely evening and please excuse me while I drop my mic and go find myself a fuckin' gin martini. Team Ghoul Forever, baby! 🤠