#i red them

[drakaina-posts]

Today, nearly a decade after I first started reading the series... I have finally finished League of Dragons, and the Temeraire series as a whole.

[beepboopappreciation]

Is this anything

[everwalldigan]

To anyone who thinks Bruce has a clear and consistent favourite child I raise you this: it is infinitely funnier for Bruce to have a complicated and elaborate “ranking” system of his kids that only he’s privy to.

Picture this: Batman, dosed with truth serum, gets asked as a gag from one of the goons holding him captive who his favourite bat-vigilante is and instead of giving a straight answer, he launches into this whole explanation about the ranking system and who’s in the current lead, who’s hanging behind, etc. At some point (this is a mystery to everyone involved) a whiteboard appears and he starts explaining his system like he’s a football coach before an important match. Out of nowhere he starts pulling out little cardboard cutouts of his kids and pins them to the board. At some point the red string comes out.

Jason hasn’t killed someone in a week? Automatically promoted to favourite. Tim hasn’t caused an international incident in the past month? Puts him a few points ahead that keep decreasing the longer he refuses real sleep (20 minute power naps don’t count Tim! Says powernap inventor Bruce Wayne). Cass gave him a hug this morning and wished him a good day? Favourite until he gets a call from dick telling him (without shouting!!!!) that he’ll be there for this week’s Sunday dinner. Duke accidentally scratches the Batmobile? Demoted to the “in trouble” zone (which, honestly, that’s where his kids spend most of the time in😭). Damian did not attempt to free all the animals in the zoo they visited? Favourite. Until Bruce found out he was just trying to conceal the cat hidden in his room that Bruce explicitly forbade him from keeping.

Dick arrives at the family dinner with a busted shoulder and a bruise the size of Texas on his face? Gets demoted so far down that even azraeil scores higher than him. He’s in the “in trouble” zone for a constant month after that. Oh one of them survived an almost death? Favourite for at least the next week. At least. Multiple people survive an almost death? EVERYONES the favourite. The least favourite is the growing grey hairs on his head.

The end of day results are decided by who bothers to wish him goodnight and if all of them have fucked up in some way the past week then Jon (Kent) becomes the automatic favourite until someone cracks a joke that Bruce actually finds funny.

The favourite child changes daily, hourly even, and his kids are aware this system exists and keep trying to crack the code but he always Knows and just smirks smugly.

[abisalli]

Jason but he wears this helmet 😼

[thebat-musicman]

9 year old Dick: If you’re a friendless loser and you know it, clap your hands!

Bruce:

Dick: Clap. Your. Hands.

Bruce: *clap clap*

———

12 year old Jason: HEY YOU!

Jason: HEEEEEY YOU!

Jason: HEY! YOU!

Bruce: It’s not polite to not call people by their names, Robin.

Jason: Nice try, Hey You. I know my mentor’s name.

———

13 year old Tim: You see this coffee, Bruce?

Bruce: Thank you for making this for m-

Tim: This is my coffee. You are having water. Only people who don’t break mugger’s fingers get coffee.

———

Clark: Batman, your Robins are so polite. They must have been a joy to raise.

Bruce, through clenched teeth: Such a joy.

[inverted-typo]

Ooh fancy pants rich McGee over here ✨

[greystend]

In a world where a domino mask, or even just taking glasses out, is enough for concealing your identity...

Nobody should be able to recognize Jason post-ressurection.

Like he took 3 feet, 100 pounds of muscles, undergone puberty, magicked a part of his hair white, and his eyes changed colour.

He takes his helmet out in his dramatic reveal, and Batman is like : ... okaaaaay ? I am supposed to know who you are ??

[flonflonflon]

SO. I WATCHED YOUNG JUSTICE. Red Hooded Ninja I need you so bad...... did some more scribbling to cope o(-( Very upset that they did not further elaborate on him / Jason Todd before cancelling the show?? At least. that's what I read everywhere. I'm late to the party as always.. ,,,give me a Nightwing arc including Jason please please please I love his total of 3 minutes of screentime on there, I am so starved I still have hope

[demonicsuffrage]

It's so wild when you think about how much of a shift the batkids had after they were adopted by Bruce, because NONE had a sibling and were like-

Dick, who accidentally walked into Tim's room, spotting the robin shrine he has there:

Tim: ...I can explain

Dick, walking out: Nevermind! It's my fault for wishing for siblings when I was a kid

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Jason: Who the hell tweeted 'skibidi toilet rizz' 56 times from my twitter?!

Tim, salty about the titans tower incident, laptop in hand still open to Jason's twitter account:

Jason:

Jason: I wish Bruce had adopted a puppy instead of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian, fuming after Bruce got them a shared hotel room on a vacation: I miss the days when I was an only child

Tim: Didn't your mom make like two thousand clones of you?

Damian: I would've preferred sharing my inheritances with all 2000 of them instead of you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dick, entering his room at the manor after a patrol and spotting Duke on his bed and immediately shrieking: BRUCE, THERE'S A RANDOM KID IN MY ROOM

Bruce: Dick, this is your newest brother, Duke

Dick: And you gave him my room?!

Duke: Wow, the colour scheme in here is so 80s

Dick: Consider me and you estranged from now on

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bruce: Jason, unblock your brother, he is currently crying in the living room because of it.

Jason, had blocked Dick after the thirst trap Dick posted got over 100k views on tiktok and now everyone and their sibling was asking for Dick's number: What brother? I identify as an only child.

[danidoodels]

tim needed a disguise quick and it was the only viable option unfortunately

[cocomuffy]

Dick: So you like, were in that Lazarus pit...

Jason: Yes?

Dick: And it like... healed you of everything and... it made you brand new and-

Jason: Get to the point..?

Dick: How do you STILL HAVE KNEE SCARS?!

Jason: What do you mean?

Jason's knee scars from the Boy-Robin Boy-Shorts™:

Jason: HOW ARE THEY STILL THERE?!

Dick: AND WHY DO I HAVE THE SAME ONES?

Jason: We have to talk to Tim and Damian. This might be a Robin thing..

*they do so*

Tim: Oh, those? Yeah, you guys have had those since you were little. They're from the lack of pants.

Dick: How do you-

Tim, maniacally: I have so many videos of you all falling flat on your faces and scraping your knees...

[sreppub]

jason ignored the clearly labeled tupperware and ate tim’s leftover garlic chicken pasta

[crow-person]

2 of them want buggy dead the other wants to honk his stoopid red nose <3

[sourkreem]

i hc that jason is concerningly good at obscure competitive video games, and that tim comes around his apartment at least twice a month

[trashcattt]

grilled cheese

[ineed-to-sleep]

Collection of bg3 sketches I've been nibbling at over the month. teehee