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dindjarindiaries · 2 years

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Security - Chapter 54: The Homeworld

summary: Din and Astra make their way to the Mandalorian homeworld, where they find many surprises awaiting them.

warnings: canon-typical violence, references to trauma, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff

rating: T

word count: 6.424k

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chapter 54: the homeworld

Tatooine’s landscape is familiar to Din in a way that isn’t quite like home, but falls somewhere near it. The streets are heavily populated with people and speeders as the starfighter makes its descent into Peli’s hangar. Din exhales as he realizes what day it is: Boonta Eve, a holiday he never celebrated but often witnessed throughout his life spent in the Outer Rim.

Din glances back and smiles to himself at the sight of Astra sleeping with Grogu tucked under her chin. He’s relieved, as the emotional weight of their brief stop on Kalevala no doubt weighed heavily upon his wife. She needs all the rest she can get and Din’s trying his best to do the same. It’s hard not to admire his family in such a peaceful state, and this time, he spent most of it with his daughter who now sleeps in the space between his bandolier and his cuirass.

“Cyar’ika,” Din’s gentle with his call, regretful to wake her, “we’re here.”

Astra stirs with a deep breath that Din can hear over the intercom. “It’s like we never left,” she says.

Din chuckles at her words. They had definitely overstayed their welcome, but Boba Fett had been generous in letting their family stay as long as they needed to. That opportunity for his family to rest had made every injury Din sustained during the fight worth it.

As soon as the N-1 touches down in Peli’s hangar, Din can hear her voice shouting to him. “Whoo-hoo!” she whoops. “You hear that? She’s purring like a nuzzle shrew.”

Din slides his and Astra’s canopies open. “No complaints. Still faster than I know what to do with.”

“For better or for worse,” Astra adds, amused.

“Well, I’ll tune her up, just the same,” Peli assures them. She sets her hands on her belt and looks between them. “So, uh, where’s my guy? Huh?”

Astra lifts Grogu high enough for Peli to see him. He coos with joy as Peli does the same.

“There he is!” Peli lets out a surprised exclamation as Grogu leaps from Astra’s arms in a grand front flip. Din tries to suppress a laugh and somewhat succeeds, an action that starts to rouse Zora upon his armored chest. “Now who taught you how to leap like a Lurmen, huh?”

“It wasn’t us,” Astra jokes as she starts to stand. “Trust me.”

“Well, what about my other pal?” Peli gestures to Din as he rises with a gloved hand holding tight to Zora. She gasps with sweet delight. “Oh, my stars! She’s gotten so big!” Peli waves while Din offers a hand to Astra and helps her down. “Hi there, Zora!”

Zora smiles at Peli and then looks at Din. He’s just gotten to the ground when Zora taps his helmet and points. “Baba!” She takes a firm grip on the lip of his helmet and tries to pull it up. Din lifts a hand to push it back down and removes her grip in a gentle motion. He holds onto her tiny hand while Peli chuckles.

“You’re trying to show me your dad, aren’t you?” Peli asks Zora in a baby voice. Astra laughs as she sets a hand on Din’s pauldron and keeps it there. Din takes a quick moment to admire her and the bright shine he sees in her gaze.

“As much as I’d like to keep this reunion going,” Din speaks up, “we’re here on business.”

“Oh, are the Hutts back?” Peli questions. “Are you takin’ out Boba Fett?”

Din tilts his helmet at her. “We need a droid part.”

Peli rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Ugh. Boring!” She turns to shout at her droids. “Hey, get the Jawas back in here before they hit the cantina!” The pit droids set off and Peli faces Din and Astra again. “You know how Mos Eisley gets during Boonta week.” She lifts a hand to mock drinking and Din nods in understanding.

Astra gives Din’s shoulder a playful shrug. “Do you really, riduur?”

Din swings his helmet to look at her. “I… was younger then.” He clears his throat and focuses back on Peli, though he doesn’t miss the squeeze Astra gives his shoulder. “I’m looking for a replacement IG memory circuit.”

Peli gives Din a surprised look. “Oh. Hey, grandpa.” Astra laughs before she can suppress the sound with her hand. This time, Din deals her a playful shoulder shove. “They haven’t made those for a while.”

Peli guides them closer to a speeder she’s working on, where the Jawas meet them in the middle. When they stop in front of her, she speaks to them in Jawaese, ending her sentence with “memory circuit.” The Jawas make a few frustrated hand gestures before they run off again. Din and Astra share a look before Peli turns to them again. “Sorry, pal, no chance cubes.”

Din lifts his free hand in shock. “They can’t find the part?”

Peli shrugs. “Nope.”

Din gives Astra a worried stare and tightens his hand into a fist. “We need our droid fixed now.” Zora whimpers and Din starts to gently rock her, resisting the urge to apologize for his frustrated feelings.

“Which is why I think you should buy this beauty here.” Peli turns and slaps a hand on top of her R5-D4 unit, causing a piece of him to fly off completely. One of his circuits crackles with electricity that makes Din hold back a sigh.

“I can’t use an astromech,” Din reminds her. “We need a droid that’s rated for spelunking.”

Peli wears an incredulous raise of her brow. “Spelunking? What are you spelunking?”

Astra moves closer to Din’s side and he wishes he could thank her for it. “We’re going to Mandalore. We need a droid that can explore ahead of us and test the atmosphere, make sure it’s safe to breathe.”

“Okay, well…” Peli starts. She’s cut off by R5 beeping and shaking his head as he tries to back away. Peli waves him back over and tuts at him. “Hey! Get right back here. Right back here, scaredy droid.” She sets a supportive hand on him. “Come on now, you gotta shine.”

Din glances over at Astra to read her. She’s focused back on the starfighter, her lips pulled tight in consideration. Peli goes on before he can question her about it.

“This R5 astromech is built for adventure,” she informs them. R5 gives her a sharp look and she returns one with bewilderment. “What?” She sighs when he speaks to her. “Of course you are. You’re supposed to be piloting starfighters across the galaxy and fighting tyranny.”

R5 offers only nervous beeps in response. Din’s gaze meets Astra’s and she becomes the one to voice their shared parts. “We don’t have any room for him on the ship,” Astra tells Peli. “We can barely fit the four of us in there.”

“Not to mention he’s falling apart,” Din mutters.

“Nonsense,” Peli insists. “R5-D4 is as good as the day he came back from serving in the Rebellion.” Astra raises an eyebrow at Din and he holds back an amused chuckle. “And don’t you worry. I’ll reinstall your droid port and this little baby here can even co-pilot.” R5 begins to shake with worry and Peli glares at him. “Hey, if you don’t settle your bolts, I’ll sell you back to the Jawas.”

“Peli,” Astra starts with a worried sigh, “that only worsens our problem of fitting in the ship.”

“I’ve got it, princess!” Peli assures her. Astra huffs at the use of her old title. “It’s Boonta Eve, so what I’m gonna do is give you this—,” she leans against R5, “—for half the price and throw in a free oil bath. And since it’s inconveniencing you and I happen to like your family, I’ll push that droid port back and make some other modifications to fit you all in there a bit better.”

Din and Astra share a glance while Peli and R5 do the same. Astra shrugs and gestures to the ship. “It’s up to you, riduur. You have a better idea of what we need for this journey.”

Din glances at the starfighter and sighs. The part for IG will take months to find if even the Jawas can’t get it, and the longer Din waits for this adventure, the more his family will have to suffer. He ultimately offers a nod towards Peli. “All right.”

Peli grins and pats R5 in celebration. “Great!” She hands Grogu off to Astra. “Then I’ll get to work.” She starts to walk towards her toolkit then stops. “Though… a helping hand or two might make this go by faster.”

Astra nods at Peli. “We’ll help you in a minute.” She shows Din the pouch that still hangs from her belt. “We just need a quick snack break.”

“Sure, sure!” Peli responds. “But next time, bring some for me.”

Astra laughs as she sets a hand on Din’s back and guides him to a more private corner of the hangar. They sit on cargo crates across from each other, Din keeping Zora balanced on his knee while Astra sets Grogu beside herself. Astra offers Grogu one of the containers first before she sets Din’s on her lap.

“Are these the ‘special treats’ we were promised earlier?” Din asks, hopeful.

Astra beams and nods. She opens the container and lets him look. “Cream of jogan.”

Din inhales an excited breath. He’s launched back to his childhood at the sight of the purple fruit. “How’d you know I love jogan?” Din wonders with a smile that remains concealed behind his beskar.

“We’ve been married a long time, now,” Astra reminds him with a sweet smile of her own. “But I have to say, this was Zora’s idea.”

Din looks at his daughter and bounces her a few times. “You have good taste, Zozo.” He lifts her to press her tiny head against his helmet, resulting in a bubbly laugh that only makes his grin grow. “You must get it from me.”

Din sets Zora back on his knee and reaches to take the container from Astra, but she shakes her head at him. “You don’t have a lot of free hands,” she reminds him. “Just lift your helmet when you’re ready and I’ll take care of it.”

Din’s face warms under his helmet as he shifts his weight and nods. He refuses to let his shyness flare up as he instead enjoys the intimate moment with his family. Din frees a hand from Zora to touch the lip of his helmet and as soon as he lifts it, Astra reaches forward with a share of the jogan. The taste once again launches Din into a state of nostalgia as he closes his eyes and rocks Zora in pure joy.

Astra looks upon him with both affection and amusement. She prepares Din’s next bite and checks in on Grogu, who’s nearly finished devouring his dessert. Astra speaks to Din as she does so. “You’re blushing, my love.”

Din shrugs, his helmet only getting warmer as his visor falls. “It’s… warm here.”

Astra chuckles with him. “It sure is.”

Given the rather small size of the dessert, the family’s snack time comes to an end more quickly than Din would’ve liked. Din retrieves the pram from the N-1 and sets Zora inside of it, tasking Grogu with the important job of keeping her safe and entertained. He and Astra pick up some of Peli’s tools and assist her as best as they can, though Din often finds himself distracted by the sight of his two children playing and laughing with each other.

The last time his family was working on this ship with Peli, Grogu had been away for almost a full standard year. Now, they’re all back together again, and they’re just one more adventure away from what could be the start of their forever home and future. These thoughts carry Din through his share of the work while he allows Peli and Astra to converse amongst themselves.

But Din’s silence doesn’t go unnoticed for long. Astra stops what she’s doing to give Din a look that he can sense before his visor even meets her gaze. She comes closer to him and lowers her voice, keeping their conversation private. “Is everything okay?” Astra gives him a once-over. “You’re quieter than usual.”

Din smiles underneath his helmet and nods. “That’s the thing.” He fixates his visor on their children again. “I couldn’t be better.”

Astra smiles with him and lifts a hand to urge his helmet to meet her forehead. “We’re almost there.” She takes her tool and taps his cuirass with it. “If you work a little quicker, we’ll get there even faster.”

Din huffs and lifts her hand from his helmet to jokingly push it away. Astra chuckles and returns to where she was before. Din’s gaze doesn’t leave her for even a single moment. He wants to freeze himself in this moment, where the joy on the faces of his wife and children could be as permanent and radiant as possible. But deep down within himself, Din comes to terms with the truth that he can’t, because he’ll never be able to fully partake in that joy until he finds his redemption once and for all.

Their teamwork on the starfighter makes their progress both quick and efficient. By the time the two suns have set and the Boonta Eve celebrations have begun, the family of four and their droid companion are settled in the modified N-1. Grogu’s finally settled himself on Din’s lap after his fifth crawl through the small hatch added between his and Astra’s seats.

Peli says a few final words to R5 before she turns to Din and addresses him. “I wouldn’t rely too much on this one,” she says, gesturing to the astromech. “His circuitry is a little fragile.”

Din furrows his brow. “I thought you said it was—.”

Peli takes the liberty of closing Din’s canopy for him.

“—Built for adventure.”

“What?” Peli questions, raising her voice above the starfighter’s purring engine. “Sorry, I can’t hear you!”

Din makes sure Astra’s canopy is closed before he starts to lift the N-1 into the air. He focuses on navigating them off planet through the Boonta Eve fireworks while Peli waves to them from below.

“May the Force be with you!” she calls up to them.

“I never know how to respond to that,” Astra confesses to Din over the intercom.

Din chuckles and shrugs. “Me neither.” He releases a breath as they pass by the fireworks, watching as Grogu admires them through the transparisteel. Din grins and focuses back on the way ahead. “All right, kid,” he says just to Grogu. “You ready for an adventure?”

Grogu coos in the affirmative. Just a few moments later, the N-1’s launched into hyperspace, sending them back the way they came. Din glances back and sees Astra and Zora already pursuing rest, with Zora’s curly head resting on her mother’s shoulder. He’s overwhelmed with a surge of warmth, though this time, he makes himself join them in slumber.

Din awakens when the starfighter returns to sublight travel. He blinks a few times at the swirling planet ahead of him, his heart aching at the sight of Mandalore’s destroyed surface. It’s visible even from this far. What used to be a beautiful part of his starry galaxy during his childhood is now a place to be feared.

Grogu’s fallen victim to that first. The little one whimpers as he looks upon the planet they’re quickly approaching. Din rushes to comfort him before he checks on Astra and Zora.

“It looks scary, I know,” Din murmurs. “But it was once green and beautiful, back when the songs were written.” He pauses, letting a wave of nostalgia wash over him. “It’s Mandalore, the homeworld of our people.” Grogu glances at Din. “Every Mandalorian can trace their roots back to this planet, and the beskar mines deep within. And you know what?”

Grogu lifts his ears in interest, though he doesn’t look away from the view of Mandalore.

“I’ve never been there, either.” Din lifts his gloved hand to point at the distant moon. “I grew up there. On that moon.” Grogu’s gaze follows his finger. “Concordia.” Grogu coos with wonder at the sight. Din moves his finger to the proximity scope. “And that’s Kalevala where we visited Bo-Katan. It’s in the same system.”

Grogu babbles a response and lifts his hand to match Din’s own.

“A Mandalorian has to understand maps and know their way around. That way, you’ll never be lost.”

“Wise words from a wise man,” Astra responds.

Din tilts his helmet and grips the controls a bit tighter. “You’re flattering me too much.”

“Oh, please. I would never lie to you.”

Din holds his breath as he navigates the starfighter closer to Mandalore’s atmosphere. “You’re not gonna think I’m so wise in a second here.”

As soon as the N-1 enters the planet’s swirling clouds, their family is surrounded by darkness. Thunder rumbles and lightning threatens to strike them at any moment. The consoles begin to glitch from the atmosphere’s disturbance and the ship itself shudders from the sheer brutality of the storm. Grogu whimpers and Din keeps him close and steady. Din wonders if Astra would be sharing some choice words of her own if the intercom wasn’t malfunctioning from the atmosphere’s disturbances.

The starfighter breaks through the clouds and reveals the roughened surface of Mandalore. The consoles continue to glitch and Din gives them a few taps. “Looks like the fusion bombs from the Purge disrupted the magnetic field around the planet,” he tells Grogu. The consoles come back to life and Din lets out a sigh of relief.

“It's probably a good thing you couldn’t hear me through all that,” Astra informs Din, her voice broken up by Zora’s whines of fear.

“I wasn’t sure exactly what to expect,” Din replies, apologetic. “I would’ve warned you more if I had known.”

“It’s all right. We’re perfectly fine back here.” Zora’s cries stop and Din assumes it’s from Astra’s comfort. “Aren’t we, Zora?”

Zora releases a quiet coo, one that’s not fully reassuring but just enough to put Din at ease. He tightens his jaw as he reads a warning message on the console. “From the surface, we won’t be able to communicate with anyone out of atmosphere, so we have to be careful. Down here, we’re completely cut off from the rest of the galaxy.”

Astra’s worried breath is audible through the intercom. “That’s comforting.”

Din circles his jaw and increases the speed of their descent. “We’ll be okay. I’ll make sure of it.”

“I believe you.” Astra’s words are honest and kind, but cautious. “Just don’t promise me. I don’t want you to have to break it.”

Din nods. “Understood, ner kar’ta.” He lowers the N-1 to the crystallized surface near Sundari. “Some of our past promises haven’t boded well.”

“That may be true, but I don’t doubt you or your word.” Din turns in his seat to face Astra and he’s relieved to be met with her soft gaze of comfort. “I just don’t want you to have to carry any more burdens.”

Din tilts his helmet at her, a motion that says more than his words could. He prepares himself with a deep breath and gets a quick glimpse of the flat and haunting landscape. “Well, here we are.” He then turns his helmet to their astromech escort. “R5, you ready? I’m gonna need you to scout ahead and analyze the atmosphere.”

R5 beeps his response and frantically shakes his metal head back-and-forth. Din resists the urge to sigh to himself.

“That wasn’t a question.” Din hits a button on the console and he hears R5 drop to the surface. The droid beeps in pure fear. “Go over to that split in the rock and take an air sample of the ruins below.”

R5 obeys, despite his worried warbling. Grogu watches him with intent and Din can hear Zora release a frightened coo through the intercom. Astra’s tone is sad rather than afraid when she speaks. “It’s hard to believe a civilization as great as Mandalore’s once stood here.”

Din shakes his helmet. “I never got to see it.” He’s distracted by Grogu whimpering and turning his head towards his father. Din returns the glance. “The droid will be fine.” Grogu’s ears remain low. “I just need him to take some readings to make sure it’s safe.”

R5 stops in his tracks and looks back at the ship. He beeps at Din.

“Don’t be a baby. Just get the samples we need, and hurry up.”

R5 beeps something rather unkind and continues ahead. Grogu continues his worried babbles while Zora’s own whimpering gets louder. “The kids are afraid, Din.”

“I know.” Din gives Grogu’s head a reassuring pat. “But the droid will be okay.” R5 disappears behind the split rock and both the children’s distress gets worse. Din starts to mess with his console. “Here, Grogu, look. You can watch him on the scope.”

Grogu settles himself more on Din’s lap and watches the red dot of R5 get farther and farther away. After a few moments, the dot suddenly disappears from the scope. Grogu gasps in worry as Din hits the console.

“R5, come in. Do you read me?”

“Did we lose him?” Astra asks over the children’s whining.

“It’s probably just interference,” Din insists. He looks at Grogu and he’s met with two worried eyes that are double their usual size. Grogu coos, babbles, and sputters in despair, and despite him lacking in words, Din understands what he’s asking for. Din sighs and gives in. “Fine. I’ll go get him.”

Astra’s voice now carries the same worry as their children’s. “Is that safe?”

“It should be, but normally, this is droid work,” Din mutters. “I was hoping to avoid going out there.”

“What if it’s toxic?”

“I’ll pressurize my helmet.” Din helps Grogu lower to the floor of the starfighter. “Grogu, seal yourself in your pod. Girls…” Din turns to face Astra and Zora, “don’t open that canopy, no matter what.”

Astra tightens her jaw. “That’s a big ask, riduur.”

“You won’t even have to worry about it.” Din nods for further reassurance. “I’ll be right back.”

Once Grogu’s sealed in his pod, Din pressurizes his helmet and slides his canopy open. He stands and pauses to take a quick look around before he steps down. His helmet hisses and reminds Din why he avoids pressurizing his helmet. He closes the canopy using his vambrace and starts to walk off, but Astra’s voice stops him short. “Din.”

Din approaches her canopy and meets her gaze with his visor. Astra swallows hard and sets a hand on the transparisteel. Din lifts a gloved hand to cover hers, his touch and his gaze lingering before he forces himself to step away. He only makes it a few strides ahead before the cries of his daughter and the burning gaze of his son make him turn around once more. “Don’t worry, kids,” he assures them. “I’ll be right back.”

With that, Din closes the distance to the split rock, turning the corner and coming upon a deep cave. His steps slow and he remains more cautious once he enters, the crystallized walls emitting nothing but darkness and green-filtered light. There’s no sign of R5 just yet, but the more Din goes on, the less focused he becomes on the astromech. Instead, his attention’s drawn to what lies at the end of his vision.

The walkway turns into a cliff that opens the crystallized cave large enough to fit an entire city within it. Ruins of a city Din can only dream of visiting are charred yet preserved, giving him an idea of what life on Mandalore might’ve been like. He looks upon it with awe, his visor scanning the view while his mind tries to take it all in.

It’s only the rustling Din catches behind him that draws his attention back to the situation at hand. A creature appears from the darkness and roars at Din as it raises a weapon that knocks him to the ground. Two more creatures join the fight, but Din remains focused on reaching for his blaster and firing a bolt at his first attacker. The other two come at him and knock him down before he has a chance to steady himself on his feet. Din keeps firing blaster bolts, but the creatures remain unfazed, swinging their weapons at him and forcing him to remain on the defense.

Din rolls away from them and props himself up on one knee, assessing his attacks while he has the brief chance to. Having lost his blaster before, Din reaches behind himself to take a hold of the Darksaber’s hilt. He’s displeased to find that it’s still as heavy as it was the last time he tried to wield it. With a prayer to the stars and an apology to his awaiting wife, Din swings the blade towards the creature on his left and throws a punch to finish it off. He tries to do the same to the creature on his right, but he overshoots, and the weight of the blade forces him around in a full rotation.

When he recovers, he’s met with a blow of their club to the front of his helmet. He falls back a few steps and runs right into another one of the creatures, who knocks him to the ground yet again. Every time he tries to stand, the creature forces him back down with a firm fist upon his jetpack. Din manages to unsheathe his vibroblade from his boot and sticks it into the creature’s thigh. He holds it there for a long moment before he withdraws it and slashes the creature with the Darksaber. It tumbles off the cliff and Din tries to anticipate the next attack.

He’s too late. One of the creatures knocks him back so far he nearly goes off the edge of the cliff. The other creature dives at him and Din dodges just in time to send the creature flying off the cliff instead of himself. He’s hit with another blow before he can turn back around, but he’s prepared for the next few hits. He blocks them with his arms and even gets a kick into the creature’s leg, bringing it to its knee. Din uses the advantage to run the Darksaber through the creature’s middle. Once he’s satisfied, Din retracts the blade and throws the final creature’s limp body off the cliff.

Din watches the spectacle while he catches his breath. He checks himself for wounds, though his observation is interrupted by R5 beeping. Din turns around and finds R5 knocked back against a few crystallized rocks, unable to get himself to move. He approaches the droid and starts to lift him, though he can feel the droid trying to help. “Yeah, wait,” Din commands breathlessly. With a heave of effort thanks to his recent fight, he gets the astromech back to his wheeled feet. “Okay, you’re all right.”

R5 rocks a few times as he beeps in gratitude. Din offers a nod.

“Now come on,” Din urges. He’s begun to fear for his family following his own run-in. “Let’s get you back to the ship.”

Din leads the way and R5 follows close behind. His steps quicken in his desire to reach his family, and in just another minute or so, he turns the corner and spots the N-1. The only difference from when he left is that Grogu’s used the hatch to join Astra and Zora in their canopy. Din smiles to himself in relief and he can already see Astra doing the same. Grogu and Zora both coo and set their hands upon the transparisteel. Din chuckles to himself and stops both himself and R5 just in front of the ship.

“They’ve been waiting to join you,” Astra manages to tell him through the transparisteel.

“Hang on,” Din responds. “Not until I check the toxicity.” Din looks at R5. “You got an analysis on the atmosphere yet?”

R5 beeps in the affirmative and lifts his holotransmitter. The holo reveals the analysis charts that only get more and more promising, the number rising higher and falling more and more into the green zone. Din watches it with amazement.

“The charts were wrong,” Din murmurs. The count stop and the number Din reads is a welcome and beneficial surprise. “The atmosphere is breathable.” Din glances up. “Bo-Katan was right.” He then meets Astra’s gaze. “Mandalore is not cursed.”

Astra’s lips stretch wide in a prideful smile. “And now, you’re the first person brave enough to return to it.”

Din beams underneath his helmet and moves towards their canopy. “It’s about time you all joined me.” He slides the canopy open and looks at Grogu, gesturing with his helmet to the pilot’s seat. “Go get your pod for you and your sister.”

Grogu obeys with an enthusiastic coo. Din helps Astra and Zora out of the ship and onto the crystallized surface. Astra looks around with the same wonder Din felt in the cave, her gaze brightened. Din wishes he could have more time to admire her and her excitement. No sight in the galaxy could be as beautiful as this.

Grogu returns at Din’s side in his pod and Astra sets Zora inside it. Their daughter whines and reaches out to Din. He summons the strength of the Ancestors to deny her request. “I’m sorry, Zozo, but you’ve got to stay in the pod with your brother,” Din tells her in a soft voice. “It’s safer there.”

Zora begins to cry. Grogu lets out a concerned coo and sets a hand on her tiny shoulder. Din twists his lips and kneels down to the height of the pram, his gloved hands holding her face as his visor meets her devastated brown gaze.

“Zora Arilia.” Din nods and runs his thumbs over her cheeks to dry her tears. “You’re a Djarin. Cuy dral. Cuy verd’ika.” You’re strong. You’re a little warrior. He lifts a hand to the lip of his helmet and raises it just enough to kiss her forehead. Zora calms and even smiles at her father’s words and affection.

Din doesn’t lower his helmet when he stands, instead turning to his wife and wrapping his free hand around the back of her neck. He pulls her to himself in a kiss that displays his utter love, admiration, and desperation for her, a gesture of gratitude that words can’t express. She’s stuck by his side for so long, much longer than anyone else in his life, and now she’s come all the way to a destroyed planet for him. Din never knew it was possible to hold so much love in his heart.

They separate and Din lets his helmet fall back fully over his face. He presses his helmet to Astra’s forehead and takes one of her hands, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Are you ready?”

Astra’s gaze is somehow even brighter than before. She nods and squeezes his hand back. “Let’s get you to those Living Waters.” Astra takes a step away from him and keeps her hold on his hand. “This is the Way.”

Din inhales at her words, unable to contain the warmth that spills from his very chest. His voice is strained when he responds. “This is the Way.”

They keep their hands entwined as Din leads their family towards the split in the rock. He rolls his shoulders and keeps one gloved hand near his holster. Astra glances at him out of the corner of his eye. “What happened in there?”

Din returns her stare. “In here?” He points to the way ahead.

Astra sharpens her look before he can go on. “I know something happened.” She gestures to his armored shoulders. “You’re stiffer than before.”

Din releases a soft sigh. “There were some… creatures.”

Astra’s brow lifts. “What kind of creatures?” Her gaze gives him a once-over. “Are you hurt?”

“No, I’m fine. I don’t know what they were.” Din gives her hand a squeeze for reassurance. His visor leaves her gaze as he continues. “I did use the Darksaber, though. I’m sorry.”

“I had a feeling.” Astra steps closer to his side, until they’re brushing against each other with every step. “It’s all right. I trust you with it if you trust yourself.”

Din nods, keeping her close and enjoying her touch while he can. He draws his blaster with his free hand at the mouth of the cave and Astra does the same. They share a look before Din takes a cautious step forward. They’re forced to separate as Din clears their path. He scans the area for more of the creatures he’d seen before, but by the time he reaches the end of the walkway, he doesn’t find a single one. Din releases the breath he was holding and holsters his blaster. “That’s the Civic Center,” he tells Astra, who also holsters her blaster at his side. “This is where Bo-Katan said to go.”

Astra looks upon the city with a grim pinch in her brow. “This is the Civic Center?” She glances at Din. “It looked like it was once a beautiful place.”

“That’s what I thought, too.”

Astra’s sadness is replaced by confusion when she looks at Din again. “How are we supposed to get down there?”

Din taps the pod at his side. “Grogu will get these two to follow us in the pod. As for you…” he opens his arms to her, “we’re gonna have to do this the old fashioned way.”

Astra looks between the buried city and Din a few times. She takes a deep breath of composure and nods. “All right.” She walks towards him and wraps her arms tightly around Din’s neck. Din lifts her and helps her to wrap her legs tight around him. His grip becomes a vice to keep her in place.

“I’ve got you,” Din assures her. “Just make sure you’re hanging on as tight as you can.”

“I will. It would be really nice if I could get a jetpack of my o…”

Astra cuts herself off with a gasp as Din makes the jump from the edge of the walkway. He activates his jetpack to keep them at equilibrium. He’s pleased to see the kids’ pod following at his side, Grogu’s ears flapping in the wind as they make their descent. Din waits until they’re far down enough for him to evaluate. He lands on a long yet stable strip and keeps Astra in place.

“Please tell me we’re almost there,” Astra murmurs.

Din rests his helmet against her head on his shoulder. “Sorry, cyar’ika. The mines should be further down.” He takes a breath to prepare himself. “We’re on our own from here.”

Grogu babbles at Din and he nods in return. Din steps out and lets them freefall again. The jetpack carries them all the way down until they can’t go any further. When they land, his boots splash in a small trail of water.

Din takes a breath of relief. “This should be good.”

He helps Astra get back on her feet. She heaves a breath and sets her hands on his cuirass. “Thank the stars you’re so strong.”

Din chuckles and shakes his head. Astra steps away to let Din get a good look around, and upon seeing the tunnels surrounding them, Din charts a path in his mind. He sets off and his family follows. When the darkness becomes too much, he clasps the light onto his helmet, urging Grogu to do the same with his pram. Astra stays close to Din’s side while he investigates the area, looking for any clues or dangers. He draws his blaster for security and Astra follows his lead.

“Do you know where we’re going?” Astra whispers. She gives her head an aimless shake. “This all looks the same to me.”

“Look.” Din gestures with his blaster to a nearby stream of water that falls from above them. “These waters should flow down to the mines and the Living Waters within.”

Astra nods and continues to follow Din forward. He can hear Grogu babbling something in a nervous tone behind him. He doesn’t blame the little one; the darkness of the tunnel mixed with its lingering creatures would be enough to frighten even the bravest of travelers.

After they’ve traversed the tunnel for countless minutes, they come along a seemingly dead end. Din glances around and his light catches an opening. “There.” Din points it out for Astra. “That passage heads down.”

Astra lifts her blaster higher. “Looks dangerous.”

Din gives his helmet a quick tilt. “Could be.” He glances over at her. “Stay close.”

Astra complies and stays right by his side as Din walks up to the mouth of the passage. He stops and scans the opening, lifting his blaster to prepare for any threats. When he looks down and takes a few more steps, Din spots something in the dirt. He kneels down and brushes the dirt from it, his heart sinking when he realizes what it is. Din lifts the broken helmet and examines it, much like he did that nearly fateful day on Nevarro. Astra sets a hand on his shoulder for support.

The rest happens in a quick and brutal flash.

Din can hear the trap set off. He manages to push Astra away from himself, watching only for a moment as she rolls in the dirt. The massive trap secures him just after and Din struggles to fight his way out. Whatever’s holding him stands, and one of its massive legs settles too close to the place where Astra had landed. Din tries to look for her as he continues his fight, but a sharp jab in his neck makes a horrible chill paralyze him.

And the last thought on Din’s mind before the dark tunnel goes completely black is the fear that he likely just sealed his family’s fate within the dark tunnels beneath Mandalore.

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#and yes i do apologize for that ending #din djarin #the mandalorian #din djarin fanfiction #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian spoilers #security #dindjarindiaries

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thefinalboss387 · 2 years

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Kuja Appreciation Post!

I’ve loved the Final Fantasy series for most of my life. I got into them at a pretty young age - I remember being 13 years old and eagerly waiting for Final Fantasy IX to come out - and honestly this narcissistic pretty boy right here taught me a lot about myself and my own struggles, and still to this day remains one of my favorite characters of all time. Take a peek behind the curtain with me if you don’t mind FF9 spoilers and a really personal childhood story haha.

Kuja is a character that immediately stands out from a crowd. He has such a dramatic, theatrical way of carrying himself, he speaks very poetically, he steals the show and chews the scenery every time he shows up on-screen, he has an array of slammin’ theme music, he has a very distinct appearance - feathers in his hair, an exposed midriff, a thong....

As the game goes on, it becomes clear that Kuja was created as a pawn, a puppet, which very much parallels his own mass-produced Black Mages. Although Kuja is the main antagonist of Final Fantasy IX, Garland - Kuja’s creator - is very much the mastermind of the game, the man with the grandiose plan that was ultimately behind pretty much all of Final Fantasy IX’s events. Kuja was inciting war between all the nations of one planet to further Garland’s plot to revive another planet, all the while scheming to overthrow Garland and use his worst fears against him.

Although Kuja acts prideful and in control, he actually suffers from a deep-seated inferiority complex. He was created as one of many identical Genomes, a mere pawn to be used by Garland, and ultimately rejected his purpose. His rebellion against Garland - how he dresses, how he carries himself, how he speaks, everything I mentioned I liked about his character - was a desperate need to express his individuality and reject the purpose that was given to him.

When the game came out, I was a gay 13-year-old boy in a fairly homophobic community. I was bullied and ridiculed by my peers for being feminine, made to feel like I had to suppress who and what I was by parents who casually made homophobic remarks and threatened to disown me if I ever came out as gay, constantly uncomfortable in my own skin, constantly monitoring how much of myself I was safely able to express at any given moment... My fear of being gay caused me to pretty much suppress my entire personality. It felt wrong to express myself - any part of myself - because such a big part of me was “wrong”, so everything else about me must be wrong too. I became angry, bitter, depressed as all hell, but I felt too alone and too deserving of that loneliness to ever reach out for help.

...So, yes, I was naturally very drawn to an incredibly androgynous and theatrical male hyper-expressing his individuality as a form of rebellion against the purpose others forced upon him.

Although Kuja’s actual sexuality is never really overtly expressed, Kuja is the character that ultimately taught little teenage me that it was okay to be gay, that it was fine - and even something to be celebrated! - to stand out and be unique from everyone else around you, that I needed to embrace every facet of who I was and love myself for it. Now, I am also a pretty theatrical and extravagant person - whether that’s Kuja’s influence on my life talking, or my own personality shining through after the years of suppression and self-loathing, is probably up for debate.

It was a long, emotional, twisted road to self-love and self-expression for me, and I had a loooooong way to go after Final Fantasy IX entered my life... but Kuja really was where that all started for me. It is ultimately up to ourselves to give our lives meaning, to decide who we are and love that person, to create an environment and mindset where we can feel comfortable in our own skin. That’s not something that anybody else can give you.

But it can be amazing where inspiration to do those things can come from.

#Kuja #Final Fantasy IX #FF9 #Final Fantasy #FF9 Kuja

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mental-mario · 1 year

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Monu-Mentally Shredded

I didn't realize today is Mental Health Awareness day, but I figure it is all the more fitting then that I recount my hospitalization in the psych ward last week. This may run long and require at least a Part II.

The day started at 8am with a routine blood draw. My psych put me on lithium recently, and this was a routine test prior to my follow-up appointment to check my lithium blood level. For context, I have been depressed and suicidal for much of my life, but I didn't get it addressed until the last year because I was taught that it was shameful or weak to receive any care for emotions and mental health. I always felt like something was mentally "off" about me, though, and after sitting 9 months on a waitlist, I finally got accepted as a psych patient. I was then diagnosed MDD and BPD, as well as OCD, BPII, and ADHD. My older daughter was also diagnosed ADHD and ASD1 earlier this year, but I digress.

This has been a particularly hard year amongst many hard years, and after I got fired I spiraled into a free fall. I stayed in bed and slept a lot, cut myself, binged on snacks when I finally did get out of bed some, and I was especially irritable and moody, even yelling and cursing at one of the school's teachers in the car line, with my kids in the car. I wish I could say that was out of character for me, but sadly it isn't. I did a better job in previous years holding my negative thoughts underneath the surface (not a good thing), but with going no-contact with my parents and sibling's family for a second time as well as navigating the choppy waters of my marriage, my depression, anger, and burnout became too much for me to suppress. It wasn't much of a surprise after seeing the lacerations on my arm that my psych "urged" me to go to the hospital voluntarily. I put that in quotes because he really said I can either go on my own or be committed involuntarily. So I think I made the better choice.

I had been to the ER once or twice before in life, but this was my first time in the psych triage and consequentially being admitted. The triage was locked down with several security personnel on hand. I was shown to a bed in a small area with a posted camera in the corner and a sitter to watch me, and they took my clothes, phone, keys, and wallet and had me get into a big green paper jumpsuit. While I waited to have another blood draw, EKG, and urine tox screen done, a large man with profound autism stripped naked in the hallway and pissed on the floor. Once the tests were completed, I was escorted upstairs by wheelchair to a unit that I could only describe as the holding tank.

I'm not really sure what the point of being on this unit was, so maybe someone can comment if they know better. I was brought into a room with 2 empty beds, a bathroom, and 2 TVs with 1 on and no remote. The staff had me order lunch (I was in no mood to eat), and I was able to call my wife from the phone on the wall with the extra short cord. I'm not entirely sure someone wasn't listening in on those calls because the phone made some weird clicking noises when it was connecting. I went back to the room after making my phone call and was provided an atarax to calm my nerves. It worked, and I napped until lunch arrived. I ate very little of the frozen stir fry they gave me, but I did eat the bowl of grapes. I arrived at the ER around 10am, and it wasn't until around 5pm that I was finally transported over to the unit.

Security had me go through a metal detector before being let in. They said you'd be surprised what people do to try and sneak things in. Inside, there was a front unit and back unit, and I was escorted to the back. I was then sat into a chair near the nurse's desk, which was locked inside by badge lock and behind thick - I assume bulletproof - glass. I then waited for them to take my vitals...again! I looked around. There were probably 10 patients on the unit, and they were also all dressed in the same green paper jump suit. The lighting was all fluorescent in the hallways, and there was one phone hanging on the wall for patients to use, also with a short cord. I've not been to prison, but I do imagine some similarities would be experienced. The other patients were in the dayroom area eating dinner, while I was taken into another room by a nurse and another staff member as witness to strip search me. This made it feel all the more like prison, and if this was supposed to make me feel less like killing myself, it failed miserably.

I am going to break it up here, but look out for Part II coming up real soon!

I am currently playing Shredder's Revenge, and I highly recommend the DLC if you haven't gotten it yet. The survival mode online is a lot of fun, and I feel like I get a limited social interaction out of it, even though I have no idea who is on the other side of the wifi. With that said, I have no community or irl friends, so I would love for some virtual company. I am adding my friend code below, so send me a friendvite and message me when you're available to play. I am also planning to open up rooms from time to time in games for anyone reading this blog or my socials (as I get them going) to join via code, and I will post the code up with first come first served. So be sure to follow the blog here. I hate the term "followers," so I prefer to call you my friends, if I may.

My friend code is: SW - 4419 - 5159 - 3401. I will also post this on the blog bio for reference, as well as the QR code. I want friends!!...but with boundaries, lol!

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shinetheweirdo · 1 year

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hmmmmmm u should share all ur dib headcannons!

I'm curious how different he is from other peoples dibs!

(urs is def one of my favs-)

(Omg I’m very surprised you like my Dib so much! Words like this give me tons of motivation to keep sharing and creating my content, thanks dude <3)

That’s a very good question actually and I have a few things to tell ya!

First of all, I headcanon Dib as a very weird, annoying and mentally unwell man. He was already weird from his childhood. Plus Dib was constantly bullied during his school years and his father had neglected him emotionally. Nobody supported him when he needed, nobody had taught him how to behave in society, what’s good and what’s bad. He could only learn things from his experience, which made him believe that all people are stupid, blind, cruel and it’s better to avoid any contact with them at all. Such childhood had heavily traumatised Dib and made him overall unpleasant person that’s very hard to deal with. That’s why he has no friends (except Zim ofc) and works from home, spending most of his life in isolation from society.

Well let’s move to his sexual orientation. I headcanon that Dib would have almost zero romantic & sexual attraction towards humans bc he hates them too much. He would most likely be much more attracted to adult aliens/cryptids of any gender with mental development equivalent to human’s or higher.

I also have an explanation on why I always draw him so unnaturally thin. I think Dib doesn’t care about his body so much and prefers to focus on career rather than on health. He works almost everyday for many hours and gets so focused that he forgets to eat, drink and even sleep properly. Even when he doesn’t work — he still browses the net, especially paranormal forums, which is more interesting to him than eating something. Dib also consumes excess amount of caffeine daily to work better. Same with nicotine, but for dealing with stress. Of course all this suppresses his appetite greatly.

Lastly I want to say that I don’t headcanon Dib as a completely heartless person. He’s heartless only on 90% :). Of course he lacks empathy very badly, but he’s still able to sometimes feel empathic towards someone who has been giving him very much attention for many years and somehow managed to build strong emotional contact with him. Better if this person is just as weird as Dib himself. That’s why he eventually managed to get along with Zim in my opinion. He was the one who was around Dib for half of his life, the one who has given him the most attention, even if it was to battle for earth with him, the one who saved Dib’s life several times, which made him feel confused. Okay I think you get the point lol it’s getting pretty long.

Damn that’s a big post, I hope you’re satisfied with my answer xd

#ask #text post #shine talks

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messengerhermes · 2 years

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so you suppressed your needs too long and now are overwhelmed

look, I'm not going to jump to the "you need to put on your oxygen mask first" speech, because chances are you know that and me going down that road is only going to invite shame.

Because here's the thing:

Even if we logically know we need to prioritize our needs before helping other people, there are still times and contexts where that's going to be really hard for us and we'll probably end up putting ourselves in the bottom of our top five, if we even manage to rank in the top five at all.

It's okay to not be the perfect master of self compassion and self care.

You're not a monster or a failure when this happens. You're trying, caring, and probably exhausted.

Hell, you may not even realize you're putting yourself last.

Some signs you may be in "Put yourself last" mode:

Emotion struggles. Maybe you're going through most of the day with no idea what you're feeling, except for brief, intense pockets where your feelings are so big you can't do or process anything else. Maybe your feelings are flickering rapid fire between emotions in ways that leave you disoriented. Maybe you're struggling to tell where the lines between your emotions and the people around you's emotions are.

Thinking issues. Do you keep losing track of what your to do list is? Are you struggling to remember the steps for basic tasks? Does it feel like you need to run to keep up with conversations, work projects, or anything logistic based?

Demand overwhelm. Does every request made of you send alarm bells blaring in your head? Do emails/texts/phone calls fill you with dread? If you work, are you struggling to stay on task and keep up with what's asked of you?

Sleep/energy issues: whether that's too much, too little, always feeling tired or even feeling a little manic in that "go go go" way

Bio Needs issues: Are you not noticing when you're hungry, thirsty, need to use the bathroom? Are you going hours without eating and once you do remember you need food, you feel disinterested? Is it hard to notice if you're physically uncomfortable/too hot/too cold without someone else asking you?

Here's the thing--put yourself last mode is often born from a mixture of good intentions (we want to help the people we care about) and bad socialization (we've been taught our needs are not important, especially in "crisis" situations). It's great to want to care about others, but it can become unhealthy if we do so to the detriment of ourselves. It can get dangerous if we aren't able to catch ourselves in this, we can risk damaging the very relationships we're trying so hard to show up in and can cause ourselves some very real harm in the process. So, what do you do? Truth be told, this is a long term issue to work on. It will take a lot of time and deliberate work and practice to reduce the chances of you falling into a place where you repress your needs. It will take a lot of time and practice to catch yourself when you start to enter the "I'm last on my list" zone. But, when you do catch yourself doing this, there are some short term things you can do. This is not a complete list and some of these may not apply to you. As always, take what works and leave what doesn't. "Oops I forgot I'm a person with needs" emergency triage kit:

Get out of the situation. If there is a particular situation or set of relationships that you're finding yourself stuck in this place with, get space. This may be hard, either because of external factors, or internal ones like feeling as if getting space will mean abandoning people you care for. But, if you're unable to prioritize your needs in a situation, sometimes you need a hard reset of distance (physical or mental) to remind your brain that you are a separate person from whoever you're trying to support and that forgetting that can actually strain everyone involved. Either take a full on pause from those circumstances, or if that's not possible, section off several hours a day where you are not engaged at all with that situation.

Create a feelings container. If you've been repressing your feelings, that dam is gonna break eventually. Depending on what your life circumstances are (ie, if you've been going through a stressful time yourself and denying yourself the chance to process that) and how long you've been putting your feelings on hold, you may have some pretty big emotions or a lot of intense emotions built up. Create space where you feel able to feel. Maybe read a book, watch a show, or listen to music that lets you feel your feelings. Take time with loved ones you feel able to be emotional in front of, ideally doing something that lets you move your body while also giving you room to talk about your feelings if you want or need to (this doesn't have to be very energetic, it can be painting, making a meal, going on a walk). If you have access to a therapist or support groups, engage with that space.

Reduce your responsibilities. Say no to shit that is not necessary and does not bring you joy. Let yourself do the bare minimum when it comes to chores and school/work. Make it as easy as possible to feed and clothe yourself.

Prioritize time for yourself. Make it an active thing in your calendar if you need to. But every day, try to spend at least two hours where you are not trying to be productive and the only human you are responsible for is you

Schedule low intensity social time. Hang out with people in your life who generally don't look to you as an emotional support pillar. Try aiming for activities that allow you to play and get you out of the house.

Give yourself grace. You're probably gonna have a hard time for a bit handling emotionally or mentally stressful situations. You may end up overreacting if people hurt your feelings. Things you typically can do easily may feel too much to handle. Don't beat yourself up. Be responsible for any harm you cause or balls you drop, but don't push yourself to do more than you can or treat yourself like an asshole because you spoke poorly or forgot a meeting.

#hermes rants #self care #repression #feelings #coping tools

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pastelpaperplanes · 3 years

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Big Ol Ask Post Pt. 3 I think

I haven’t drawn anything other than cursed or plain technical stuff w him 😔😔 have these for now but expect more soon!

anon a way back asked what he’d look like next to Overlord being already so big compared to Megs, that’s why you see Lordie if you’re wondering why he’s thrown in that line up!

by the way I have a voice claim for the big purple simp— Jenner from NIMH, he’s so awful but that suave baritone oh it fits too well >:] it’s the ‘humble servant’ line that got to me

Yep! Pharma is absolutely in this AU—as well as the CFau and Crack one too—and in all, he’s still an estranged medic long since booted from any legal work back on Cybertron.

He lost his credibility and more all those years ago when he found himself willing to do his fair share of cutting corners and hastily concealed malpractice to expedite his dream of getting his name down in the medical books—ultimately impressing his dear Mentor Ratchet, finally, in perfecting long-since banned risky experiments and surgeries—not to mention cruel and unusual temperament with the (supposedly) taboo practice of non-medicinal mnemosurgery.

His ambitions and aggression always got the bet of him, this hasn’t changed since he found himself working in freelance outposts. Light years away from Cybertron, he’s made a name for himself as a Good Doctor—but to his under-the-table black market part-dealing clients, he’s just about as bad as a Crooked Medic can get.

Bounty hunters and Arms Dealers like him for his business, a certain DJD member likes him for the occasional berth company and seemingly never ending supply of fresh T-Cogs—but no one actually likes him for his nasty temperamental personality, save for a young and naive Ratchet once upon a time.

Pharma is a roamer, as of recent he’s been a hard to reach mech—seems as if he’s found a little project to keep himself pretty occupied in the last few decades—something about a breakthrough for aiding the Decepticon Energon Crisis :] him and a small, horrifyingly cheerful surgeon are well on their way to completing their first trial batches, it’s safe to say that their little synthetic mixture will have it’s users sated and compliant.

they’ve got that amazing ‘new car smell’ those first few weeks, and instead of chittering like an Insecticons or vibrating their wings like a seeker—they beep and squeak, sometimes even honk a horn depending on the baseline altmode coding, to get their Creators’ attention before their vocalizer truly starts to kick online

It’s cute, but loud

Much like a seeker sparkling, they have to reach a certain ‘age’ (upgrade) to be able to transform completely, in between then they’re still able to rev those engines as a warning should they need it, as well as spin their wheels should they need a getaway HEELIES IF THEYRE LUCKY WOOHOOOOO—for seekers they can hover on their thrusters!

Crusade is actually pretty formal with Megatron. But yeah as a kid, Megs was always known as Carrier, but as Sadie got older and more aware of their surroundings—they definitely came to learn the true weight of that title and the fact that they were the progeny of the faction leader, a fact they should have really held onto with more pride. Not wanting to draw more attention to the already blatant favoritism (and nepotism) Crusade made a switch to addressing Megatron as Sir, My Lord, Lord Megatron, —ect. to better fit in with their fellow troops.

It bothers Megatron more than than he lets on. Crusade shouldn’t have to hide their high ranking as his child, the heir to the faction. Megs is their Carrier and can only order them around for so long, as their Leader however—pulling rank may just allow for their infuriatingly stubborn sparkling to listen to them should a day come where even a Carrier’s plea is dismissed.

Crusade does slip up every now and then and a ‘Carrier’ will slip—often hushed and annoyed though as Megs does like to tease every now and then, gotta remind them that they’re still his baby every once in a while :’)

Optimus however—whenever him and Crusade should truly reunite, will never be called Sire by Crusade, which they so heatedly established early on—Crusade never needed one and they don’t need one now, better to not let the title trigger those long-suppressed emotions. Sure enough though Optimus will get his moment.

actually no lmfao so you’re good! Eh, I haven’t mentioned much plot w them outside of them and Megs, plus bits of potential interactions with Optimus—so the rest of Team Prime is free game :D

For what I (hopefully will have) planned, their interactions with team Prime will be eh,,,interesting to each their own to say the least. Some more stressful than others BUT let’s not get into that until I’ve worked it out—for now I’ll just mention what they’re dynamics would be like when the drama of Oh Shit Boss Bot You’ve Been Hiding a Kid For HOW LONG has died down.

A usually touch-wary Crusade actually is the one to initiate a hug with Bulkhead, he’s the biggest and warmest and somehow is always happy to see them. Plus he tells cool recaps of Earth films and gifts them strange blobish paintings every now and then, all of which Crusade doesn’t exactly understand, but at least the colors are pretty.

Bee is annoying,,,which is what Crusade would say if confronted if they actually liked all the shenanigans Bee suggest they pull together, prank wars to the max, sparring for fun, video games?, DOUGHNUTS and RACES in the fortress halls??? Ahem. they are a super serious soldier, not a hooligan. But honestly, Bee is the one they seek out the most should they need an adventure, they missed out on a lot of this ‘fun’ growing up on the Nemesis—Bee seems to know how to balance a day of soldiering and dumbassery. sometimes.

Ratchet reminds them a bit too much of their Carrier than they’d care to admit. The medic is an old soul to his very core, perpetually tired but quick to snap into work mode, and sweet if you reallllllly squint. Sadie has been taught from day one to always respect medics, Ratchet obviously takes the cake on I’ve Seen Some Shit and for that alone Crusade both fears and admires Ratchet. Again, growing up on the Nemesis they didn’t have too many bots willing to talk much with them—but Ratchet (after he’s gone through his own lot of therapy, him AND Arcee. good lord) has a never ending pile of stories to share with them. Ratchet may throw in a few more colorful curses than necessary—which is SURPRISING bc Crusade thought they’d heard them all back home, but he’s entertaining and tells Crusade how it is, no sugarcoating. For that Crusade is grateful, there’s been too many half-truths thrown about to them in their recent years :’)

Ghost Prowl freaks them out—why does he deliberately have to be so sneaky?? Crusade has only met Prowl a fleeting handful of times (visits from the Allspark come with meaning, you know) and each time Crusade has been given nothing but odd riddles and poetic nonsense. Kidding. Prowl does like his wordplay’s but his given advice is always well meaning—the most firm and direct message Crusade has been passed though was probably most definitely “ Get those two cowards for mecha you call your Creator’s to stop fooling around with each other and SPEAK—at this rate it’s physically paining me that they haven’t begun Ritus and they’re not getting any younger”

Team Prime adores Sadie, they ask Megatron to see their sparkling photos every chance they catch him. And Crusade. hates it.

:) have

We’ve been here before, haven’t we?

#my art #cybertron’s legacy au #transformers #megop #lots to unpack #tarn is big and purple and very much a sip for megatron this has been established #simp*#also he’s HUUGE #Pharma has a nice role in this au but mostly it’s some other rouge cons #mostly dear Trepan and his big bully of a husband >:3 #WE GOT SOME HOMAGE TO TFP HELL YEAHHHHHHHH GET READY. it’s gonna be darker for sure but ohohoohohooo can’t wait #Sadie is to OLD to call their mom Carrier UGH.#very sad and very much not true #but the title is still there and every now and then a ‘Carrier’ will be thrown out #team prime all would love Sadie #it would take a min for Sadie to warm up but they’ll fit right in :) little band of misfits #and finally #a re draw of one of my fav megop peices ive done #look how far they’ve come 😭😭#tfa tarn #tfa Pharma #tfa trepan #tfa megop #transformers animated #tfa optimus prime #tfa megatron

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beels-burger-babe · 3 years

Text

Melodious Mourning

***Ben Platt?! Hell yes! Okay! I am so so excited about this! Thank you so much @ester-is-here for reminding me how much I love this song. I hope everyone enjoys it. You can listen to the song, if you haven't already, here. Disclaimer: In Case You Don't Live Forever and its lyrics do not belong to me. They belong to the brilliant Ben Platt*** Poly!MC Summary: It's MC's anniversary of their relationship with the Lords of the Devildom. They've planned a little something special to share with them; something that will express how much they love the brothers, while also preparing them for a tragic truth. The time had come. After a long night of celebrating your anniversary with the seven sins, it was time for you to finally show them the surprise you had prepared for them. You giggled as you dragged a tired Belphegor into the music room by his hand, the others following closely behind you. Asmodeus made a small noise of disappointment and leaned against the grand piano in the middle of the room. "You know when you said you had a surprise for us, I must admit this wasn't exactly what I had in mind, " you snorted as Satan smacked Asmo on the back of the head. Asmo yelped and held his head as he glared at Satan. "Though I'm sure that whatever this surprise it will be equally as lovely. Geez, let me finish before you ruin my hair!" Mammon came up beside you. "But what is this surprise though? Is it a diamond? Money? Jewelry? That lost treasure that we never found?" You smiled softly at the Avatar of Greed and poked his nose. "It's better than that. Or at least I hope it will be," You sat down at the piano and took some sheet music out of your bag. "I um...I wanted to sing a song for all of you," you nervously tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. "With our anniversary being today, I've been thinking a lot about us and all the time that's passed and the what the future will hold, and I-I just thought that this song would be the perfect way to express all of that."

Lucifer placed a hand on the small of your back as he looked down at you with an awe-filled, adoring expression. "I wasn't aware you could play. I would've loved to play with you sometime." You leaned up and pressed a kiss to his lips. "There will be time for that in the future. For now, it's time for your surprise," you hovered your fingers over the keys and hesitated. The song the message shared was important but would be hard for your lovers to hear. You glanced over at them. "J-Just listen, please. Okay?" Beel frowned at the serious look on your face and nodded. He could sense that there was something important about this performance, something almost dire, that clearly frightened you. "Of course." You took in a shaky breath as you began to move your finger across the keys.

"You put all your faith in my dreams. You gave me the world that I wanted. What did I do to deserve you?" Your smooth voice filled the room and wrapped around the hearts of each of the demons. They smiled gently at your words as a warmth filled their chests. In the years that they were fortunate enough to have you in their lives, they had spent every last second doing their best to keep you happy. They would give you the world if you asked for it, and you knew that. "I follow your steps with my feet. I walk on the road that you started. I need you to know that I heard you. Every word." Since coming here, the brothers have shown you a number of things. Lucifer taught you to be more confident and take pride in the things that you've achieved. Mammon taught you that it was okay to be selfish sometimes to do the things that you wanted. Together, you and Leviathan learned that the only opinion that truly matters is your own. Satan taught you that you define your own fate and meaning and that no one can say who you are except you. Asmodeus taught you to appreciate the pleasures in life, no matter how big or small. Beelzebub engrained in you that your body is a temple that you must cherish, look after, and love. And finally, Belphegore taught you that it's alright to take time for yourself. Each of them had impacted you and fundamentally changed the way that you looked at life, and you would never be able to thank them enough for that. "I've waited way too long to say. Everything you mean to me," you swallowed down the lump that was beginning to form in your throat. You had waited too long to tell them this, that much was true. By now they were irreversibly attached to you. Though you were grateful for it and loved them in return, there was something all of you had been avoiding discussing. You took in a shaky breath; you couldn't hold it off anymore. "In case I don't live forever let me tell you now," You could hear their breaths get caught in their throats. Lucifer's hand froze on your back, while Belphie quickly sat up from where he was laying on your shoulder. "MC, what are y-you saying? What are you-" Levi's voice stuttered from behind you. You couldn't bring yourself to look at them as you continued, "I love you more than you'll wrap your head around," you finally glanced over at Levi. The otaku's eyes were wide and filled with fear and concern as he scanned you for any missed injuries or signs of illness. At finding none, his eyebrows narrowed in confusion. You offered him a reassuring smile before looking back down at the keys. "In case I don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am because of you." Satan's trembling hand gripped onto your shoulder as he placed a kiss on the top of your head. "MC, my love, that is beautiful. But you can't just say something like that and not expect us to be concerned. Are you alright? Should I be getting a doctor or Barbatos or do I need to take you to a human hospital?" You paused for a moment to turn to your lovers. "I'm okay. There's nothing wrong with me, only that I'm human," you watched as they tensed in realization. "Treasure, that's not-" Mammon stepped forward, but you lifted a hand to stop him. "I've been thinking about the passing of time a lot lately, a-a-and I need to say this. Please, just let me finish?" The sound of your voice close to tears had the brothers wanting to do nothing more than wrap you up in their arms and never let you go again. But there was this desperate glint in your eyes, that none of them could deny. Belphie laid his head back down on your shoulder and buried his face into the fabric of your top. "Go ahead, angel. We're listening." You turned your head to lightly kissed his head, whispering a small thank you, before picking back up the song.

The music filled the room once more, but unlike before where it filled your lovers with joy at the thought of such a sentimental gift, a feeling of dread and unease now swirled in their stomachs. "I've carried this song in my mind. Listen it's echoing in me. But I never helped you to hear it." Your mortality was something that had weighed on your thoughts for years now. You never mentioned it for you knew that the brothers would just brush off the subject. They had lost so much already; they didn't even want to begin thinking about the day when you would no longer be with them. But with each passing year, the subject had become more and more crucial, yet you were still too much of a coward to bring such a distressing topic to light. You had hoped the song would lighten the blow, but based on the way Mammon's eyes were squeezed shut and his fists were pressed to his mouth, as though whispering a prayer, it hadn't. Tears pricked your eyes at the sight as you felt your throat tighten. "We, we've only got so much time. I'm pretty sure it would kill me if you didn't know that pieces of me were pieces of you." It was true. You carried the boys with you where ever you went, both literally through your pacts and figuratively through the pieces of their personalities that you have mirrored throughout the years. You often find yourself mimicking Lucifer's eye-brow raise when someone is acting particularly stupid. The sight of food or beautiful clothes causes your heart to thrumb with excitement, just like it does for Beel and Asmo. You have a deeper appreciation for anime and astrology from your many nights with Levi and Belphie. You're more knowledgeable and educated in literature from your countless hours in the library with Satan. You were more conscious with your money after your few attempts of trying to teach Mammon how to budget. You were one with your boys; a beautiful collage of the experiences and times that you had all spent together. You just hoped that they knew that. "I've waited way too long to say. Everything you mean to me." Asmodeus claimed your other side, as one of his hands moved up to delicately wipe a tear from your face. You noticed, with an aching heart, that his cheeks were tearstained as well. Your lip trembled as you opened your mouth to sing the chorus. "In case I don't live forever let me tell you now. I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around. In case I don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am because of you." At this point, you weren't singing so much as you were sobbing. You could feel your hands tremble heavily as you pushed them to keep playing. The only thing keeping you from breaking down completely was the solid feeling of the brother's touch supporting you as they lent you their strength. You squeezed your eyes shut and played hard on the keys, causing the brothers to jump a little as you began to belt. "I have a hero if ever I need one!" Flashes of the countless times that they had come to your rescue flashed in your mind. Unknown to you, the brothers weren't thinking of them rescuing you at all, but rather how you had saved each and every one of them. "I just look up to you and I see one! I'm a man 'cause you taught me to be one," your voice quivered with emotion as you held the falsetto note at the end. You leaned over the keys, suppressed cries falling from your lips as your shoulders shook. Beel placed a hand over top of one of your own and met your gaze. "You don't have to finish this MC. We understand what you're trying to say and we can just end the song here and talk if you want." It was tempting. Honestly, your hands our practically useless with how much they were shaking. But this wasn't just for them anymore. Speaking the words that had been swarming your mind for too many years out loud, although painful, also freed you from a sense of guilt that you weren't even aware that you were carrying. "I-I'd like to finish it. I-If you all don't mind." Belphie's arms came to wrap around your waist and Asmo

pressed a kiss to your cheek. Lucifer's hand on your back moved in comforting circles, while Satan repeated the motion with his thumb on your shoulder. Levi moved closer to lean onto the piano for support. Mammon gave you a tearful smile as Beel lifted his hand off of yours. "Of course. Take your time, honey bun." You took several deep breaths to calm yourself before lightly playing the chords. You met the eyes of your partners and hoped that they could see the utter adoration and passion that was flooding through your veins for them. "In case you don't live forever let me tell you now," you playfully elbowed Belphie and turned your head to kiss Asmo's cheek. "I love you more than you'll ever wrap your head around." As the music picked up the tempo once more, you couldn't help but grin even as tears poured down your cheeks. "In case you don't live forever, let me tell you the truth. I'm everything that I am-" You closed your eyes, tilting your head back, as you allowed yourself to give in to the music and fully feel everything that you had been suppressing. "Woah, Woah, Woah. " As you began to sing the melody again, your eyes snapped open as you heard the brothers harmonize alongside you. Lucifer, Satan and Beel's low voices rang deep like the growl of thunder. Asmodeus and Belphie hit the higher octaves, chiming like bells ringing in the wind. Mammon and Levi sang the original notes with you, remaining strong and pure like waves against a shore. You laughed brightly as a radiant sensation of love blanketed you in warmth and soaked up any traces of fear that lingered. "In case I don't live forever, let me tell you the truth." You looked around at the brothers tenderly and softly played the final notes. They all smiled back at you, eyes gleaming with that same sense of passionate affection that you had felt moments earlier. Your heart fluttered in your chest as you came to a realization. No matter how much or little time you had left with each other, you would spend every moment of it at each other's side loving another unconditionally. "As long as I'm here as I am," you rested your head on top of Belphie's and smiled softly, "so are you." *** This was so sweet and sad at the same time and I just LOVED writing it! Oh my goodness, I haven't written a song fic in ages, so this was a little challenging, but I just loved it so much. Thank you @ester-is-here for this beautiful request!*** TAGLIST: @thegrimgrinningghost

@henry-and-the-seven-lords

@satans-beloved-riv

@cosmixbun

@sufzku

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taechaos · 3 years

Text

Social Media

from Textbook Love drabbles

pairing: bully!Jungkook x nerdy!fem!Reader

genre: drabble(?), smut, college au

synopsis: “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”

warnings: slight angst, arguing, dubcon, mild violence

word count: 4.7k

a/n: ima need yall to submit jk gifs cuz it is taking me TOO long to find a good one 👺 not proofread.

The weekend is fun: students’ two days of temporary rest and catching up on their assignments. Jungkook doesn’t concern himself with the latter, but he does enjoy waking up later in the day and lying down on the grass with his arms crossed under his head, bathing in the sun without any worries. It’s peaceful, thinking thoughts of you with dimmed eyes while the breeze gently wafts past him.

But of course, Taehyung wouldn’t let him just enjoy his day without a hint of irritation. Good things never last anyway. He’s sitting in the middle of the field, a hot spot for relaxation, and feels the soil under his palms while observing his surroundings. Yoongi is with them, munching on a few snacks while scrolling through his phone as it quietly plays music.

“The girl at the party,” Taehyung begins before glancing at Jungkook through his sunglasses, “she was alone when I came back. You weren’t around either; did you cum too soon or something? I saw you two kiss.”

“I left,” Jungkook mumbles without opening his eyes.

“Why?”

“I was bored.”

“And where did you go?” he pries.

“None of your business.”

Taehyung scoffs at his dismissal before averting his gaze elsewhere. “I do have a guess.”

“Don’t start,” Yoongi warns him without looking up. The two best friends usually get into arguments in a matter of seconds daily, and Yoongi just wants to spend his day without having to break up a fight. Just this once, he hopes… but hope doesn’t save him.

“I’m just wondering if you actually went all the way back to campus to fuck another girl, who coincidentally also does your homework.” His tone is cool and collected, but it borders on mocking that usually goes unnoticed. He’s been around these two too long for them to miss, however. Yoongi sighs, dreading the response already.

Jungkook sits up on his elbows with a glare directed towards Taehyung. “How’s your ex holding up, Tae? You think she cheated on another guy yet?”

Neither of the two friends have a filter around them, no consideration for their words as they apathetically insult one another; but Jungkook can go too far, especially by bringing up old wounds.

Taehyung was in a toxic relationship with his first girlfriend of two years, which took a huge toll on his mindset. Constant infidelity, endless forgiving, make up sex and catching her with another man after: a cycle that went on for over 24 months. The concept of love became tainted in his eyes, no longer interacting with the opposite gender if not to get laid, and Jungkook’s commensalistic - rather parasitic - relationship doesn’t disprove his hateful ideology. Love only consists of two people: a host who provides, and the parasite that selfishly takes it all.

But he isn’t over the pain that lasted a year after the break up, which was shamelessly executed by the parasite: his former girlfriend. It took a lot of trust to open up about it to his friends, and it lifted a heavy weight off of his chest. Only this year did he stop thinking about her, until Jungkook asked about her so casually. It stings his heart only for a second, and he scoffs as Yoongi intervenes, “Both of you need to shut the fuck up.”

“If you guys want to talk about my relationships, then don’t get all whiny when I talk about yours.”

Taehyung swallows his pride and confidently answers, “I don’t know, Jungkook. I hear she’s doing well, but no information on her boyfriends. Your turn: what’s going on with that nerd?”

“Elaborate.”

“Are you two dating?” Yoongi asks exhaustedly. They just keep taking every opportunity to annoy each other, and it’s even overwhelming him at this point.

Rolling his neck side to side in thought, Jungkook takes a moment to answer, “No.”

“Bullshit,” Taehyung spits. “You know what? Let’s just move on. I’m sure I could get proper answers from someone else.”

“If you have a death wish, that is,” he warns with a slight seethe before lying back down.

He doesn’t respond and hides a smirk, a couple having a romantic picnic ahead of him from a distance. He watches them for a few seconds before muttering to himself, “It’s not going to be my death.”

Yoongi and Jungkook chill on their own after Taehyung leaves. He’s roaming the campus in hopes of finding that one girl who is always wearing some school skirt and working 24/7 to find out what is so special about her. Jungkook might think he doesn’t notice them interacting, but behind that airhead facade, he’s observant. It’s not that big of a fucking secret either, they’re not deliberately hiding their strangely beneficial friendship or whatever. You stick out like a sore thumb in the yard, though there’s not many people to tell you apart from anyway.

He approaches you rather slowly, inspecting your figure first before meeting you. Your posture is straight and composed, fingers quickly typing away on your keyboard without even looking at them. You look so serious to him, a contrast to the radiant butterflies flying past you in such a bright environment. He wonders if you ever procrastinate or take breaks, and most importantly, how someone that appears so smart has fallen into such an obvious trap set by his best friend of all people.

His hands are in his pockets as he speaks his first words to you. “Hi, I’m Taehyung.”

Your reaction is instant: a quick look at him and you’re already frowning. “I’m Jungkook’s best friend,” he adds in case you’ve seen him around before.

“I don’t know you.” And with that distant reply, you return to your essay. If meeting Jimin has taught you anything, it’s that you can’t trust anyone who claims to know your lover. They are just using it against you…

“Well, shit,” he laughs, “I didn’t realize you were so cold.” Your eyes don’t waver from your screen, so he tries another approach: “Are you the girl Jungkook left the party a few days back for?”

Your ears perk up in his direction, but you don’t show it. But he notices the pause in your taps before you continue typing, and he holds that against you. He takes a seat across from you, and your laptop covers your face from him. “I just wanted to meet the person that’s got him whipped enough to get high and run off to them.” You bite down on a smile and prolong your silence. “I guess I’ll talk to you when you’re not busy.”

He stands up just as you tell him, “Wait, no, I’m not busy.” You close your laptop mid-way before hesitating, but slam it shut nonetheless. “Sorry.”

“You’re good.” He sits back down and clasps his hands on the table. “So what’s going on between you and him? He refuses to tell me, as if you’re his little secret.”

You shyly look down at your flats and twiddle your fingers on your lap. “We’re together… but he is very mysterious.”

It’s a good thing you don’t glance at him to hide your blush, because he’s a little skeptical. He puckers his lips and furrows his brows but controls his expression when you look up. He mentally curses for taking longer than a few seconds to respond; it’s suspicious. “I know right? I don’t know why he’s so reluctant to talk about you. You’re a total sweetheart.”

Approval from Jungkook’s friend: check. Will he like you more if you get along with his friends? The thought excites you, because at least this is someone he likes, unlike Jimin. “Thank you,” you shy a smile. “Um…”

You’re awkward: not Jungkook’s type, Taehyung notes. You’re obviously the host... “So is this a fling, or are you two serious?”

“We’re serious!” you immediately answer. “I love him, and he recently told me he loves me too. He used to kiss me for doing his homework, but now he does it out of nowhere.”

Wow… romantic. He suppresses a chuckle because he doesn’t want to laugh in your face, not when you’re so cute when you talk about him. Your eyes light up with a gleam, a lovesick smile gracing your face and now desperate to befriend him. You look like him when he was supposedly in love. You’re serious about Jungkook, but for how long? Especially when the other side of the relationship is not so committed. It should be mutual: with two hosts.

“Yeah?” he acts interested and raises his sunglasses up to his hair. “How does he act around you?”

“Well,” you start gushing, “he is a little closed off with his emotions.” True. “He doesn’t like me talking to other guys.” Ooh, interesting. “He can’t stand being ignored,” you chuckle. Can he now? “And… he is so cute when he’s jealous. He has this glare whenever I don’t give him enough attention, but he would never admit it. He likes being intimate with me, likes it when I reassure him. He never says it out loud though, I can just tell by looking at him. I’ve never felt this way for anyone, never fell in love with someone until I met Jungkook. I just want to make him happy because he used to look so sad when I watched him from afar.” A hopeless romantic.

Maybe if you didn’t sound so genuine and innocent, he would’ve made fun of you. But he just feels pity for someone who is so giving to someone who gives back so little. You don’t deserve it; don’t deserve to stay up working on so many assignments; don’t deserve to not have any hobbies; don’t deserve to be so unloved. You are pathetic, but it doesn’t turn him off.

Taehyung is a host too.

He clears his throat at the unexpected stirring emotions in his heart, “What do you love about him? Do you like being treated like shit or something?”

“He doesn’t treat me badly! He is like a light switch, you know? He doesn’t know how to act, sometimes sweet and sometimes… a little mean. I love him for his pure heart, and I believe that we are similar in a lot of ways.”

Taehyung can’t contain his snort. Similar? You are opposites. You are similar to him, not Jungkook. He feels… jealous. The pairing is just so ridiculous and flawed, but you’re neither of the two; you are just good. Taehyung can be good too. “So, what’s your Instagram user?”

The lack of commentary and escalation of the topic catches you off guard. It’s a distraction. “I don’t have an account,” you reply in confusion.

“Wow, I’d expect you to cyberstalk Jungkook on there,” he jokes with a laugh.

“He has an Instagram?”

He purses his lips, his grin faltering as he nods. He takes out his phone from his pocket to show you the account, and holds it in your face. Your lips part as you gently take it from him, curiously inspecting the collage of images.

“He plays the guitar?” you ask in awe. You click on each picture to zoom in on them, and your heart jumps upon seeing his selfies while Taehyung hums. He is gorgeous in your eyes, and you want to keep up with his posts in hopes of seeing another selfie. These are hidden gems that Taehyung had the courtesy of providing to you.

“He’s learning,” Taehyung says, “you should sign up and post some pictures as well. You’re really cute.” His cheeky compliment makes you happy; he is basically giving you his blessing!

“Thank you, and you’re right,” you chirp, “I will make an account after I finish this essay. Want to take a picture with me?”

It’s safe to assume that Jungkook wouldn’t mind you talking to his best friend, so why not expand your social circle? You’ll be more involved with his life this way. Taehyung stammers slightly before agreeing. He switches benches to sit next to you while you rummage through your backpack to find your phone. He finds it strangely endearing how you hold it, using your index finger to swipe between apps to find the camera. It almost stings his heart that you’re so old-schooled in a cute way. Once you angle it above you with your arm stretched out to your left, Taehyung appears to be behind you as he lowers his glasses. You smile brightly into the lens while he cutely puckers his lips.

Click.

“Are you wearing perfume?” he asks before he can stop himself. Your scent tickles his nostrils sweetly, and he doesn’t know why he’s noticing so much about you or holding a conversation with a woman without being naked. It’s been a hot minute since Taehyung’s had such a platonic interaction, and it shouldn’t feel this nice. He shouldn’t want to continue it through social media either.

“Yes! Do you smell strawberries? I noticed Jungkook eating them before, so I use just about anything strawberry scented. Lotion, shampoo, shower gel…”

He tunes you out as you gush and focuses on the smooth movement of your lips. You’re too good, and Taehyung knows he isn’t the best person but at least he’s not as bad as Jungkook. I shouldn’t think like this… but am I wrong? He will break your heart. What if it’s the right time to intervene to save you from that misery, and be a friend to both of you? He doesn’t want you to fall apart and be completely crushed right in front of his eyes, not when he just witnessed how childishly happy and naive you are. It wouldn’t be fair to you, nor to the life lesson he was taught years ago.

And he then notices that you're wearing strawberry lip balm.

“Jungkook kis-” -sed someone else before coming to you. You hum and tilt your head at his interruption, waiting for him to finish his sentence. “Jungkook… does love strawberries.”

Though your work ethics are questionable for how exhausting they are, it gets the job done sooner. The moment you’re assigned a task, you do it, regardless of if it’s yours or Jungkook's. Saturday evening and Sunday are free for you, so you spend your time outside after leaving your backpack in your dorm. You think you look silly, taking pictures of anything you find interesting to post on Instagram. You made an account, but it appears like a bot with its empty feed. Jungkook enjoys doing this, so you want to try it as well.

You don’t stray far from campus because you’d easily get lost, and your gallery looks boring to you. The only decent photo you have is with Taehyung, but you want to post a picture with Jungkook before anyone else. You grumble under your breath while walking back to the dormitory building. You look through Jungkook’s posts again as you do so with a smile.

A heavy arm slings over your shoulder and hitches your breath just as the culprit says, “What’s the rush?” He doesn’t even look at you, and you wonder if he recognized you from your clothes after coming up from behind you.

“Jungkookie!” you cheer excitedly. He glances at you and quirks a brow at the nickname. His eyes then trail to your lit up phone and snatches it from you, which you don’t fight against.

“You’re stalking me?” He scrolls through his profile from your phone and smirks before stating, “I didn’t know you had an Insta.” The both of you enter the building with his arm still wrapped around you, which flutters your heart.

“I made one today, since you use it.” He exits his profile to look at yours. You’re in the elevator as you inform, “Taehyung told me.”

A pause, then a click. Jungkook snapped a photo of you when you pressed the button of your floor. “Pretty,” he comments while looking at your candid shot. You’re flattered and also happy that he’s joining your trip to your dorm. He hasn’t said a word of protest and takes the lead in going to your room. “What else?”

“Hm?”

“What else did he tell you?”

You rack your brain to remember anything significant to tell him. It was a long conversation: getting to know each other and more about Jungkook. “He told me you have an Instagram, then asked for my perfume, and then we talked about your love for strawberries-”

“Your perfume? Why was Instagram even brought up?” he presses, stopping in front of your door.

You take out your keycard and shrug while swiping, “He asked for mine.”

The dorm is empty when you enter and sit on the edge of your bed. It’s very hard to not grin when you’re around Jungkook, but he doesn’t seem to care as he looks through your gallery. “Can we take a picture together?” you peep hopefully.

“Of course,” he murmurs absentmindedly, intently staring at your phone. “We’ll take many pictures,” he looks up at you before leveling with the camera, “pose.”

You aren’t very educated on the art of posing per se, so you imitate the peace sign you saw him do with a wide smile and a hand on the bed. He is neutral when he snaps a picture with a shutter.

“I want you to be in it.”

He drags his eyes away from the screen and his blank expression intimidates you. “Whose idea was it for you to make an account?”

“Um… Taehyung, why?” You lay your hands on your lap at the growing tension.

Taehyung went to this extent to get a reaction out of him? Is it possible that he’s this obnoxious? Or perhaps another motive…?

“I-Is he not your friend?”

Jungkook breaks his silence of thoughts with a scoff, “Oh, only the best.” You sigh in relief, though he says it with menace. Taehyung was curious about his relationship, not about your social media. He forcefully pushes you down on the bed and you hold back a gasp as he wraps his finger around your neck in a light chokehold with a thumb on your nether lip. Click. He then lowers his hand to your thigh, hiding half of it under your skirt with a gentle grap. Click.

Your cheeks flush at the compromising photos he’s taking and you nervously ask, “A-Am I going to post these?”

“Shut up.”

You seal your lips shut and he flips you on your stomach, palming your covered ass with your side profile in the frame, and another shutter resounds in the room. “Sit up.” You follow his command and turn around to face him. He pushes your hair to your back and his mouth latches onto your neck. He’s biting you while sucking on your flesh, and you release a breathy moan at the feeling of his tongue swirling on the sensitive skin. It hurts, but you don’t complain and try to make sense of the growing arousal in your lower region. He only pulls away after half a minute and you’re confused by the satisfied smirk on his face while eyeing the result. He angles your jaw to expose your neck better and snaps another photo. “These are all going on your account.”

At your nod of submission, he starts unbuttoning your shirt. “You’re prettier with a mark. My mark.” Your body tingles at the compliment and you help him undress yourself by unbuttoning the ends. “Take off your skirt,” he demands as he slips off his shirt with ease. All of your clothes go off one by one as he does the same, and you don’t have the time to feel shy as his lips collide so roughly with yours that you’re pressed down against the mattress again. You still haven’t gotten the hang of making out, but it doesn’t matter with Jungkook because although it flows naturally, he also takes complete control over you. He’s not gentle, not with the way his teeth clash against yours and tongue leaving trails of saliva all over your mouth. Your toes curl with desire and anticipation, and you tug at his briefs that outline his erection. The feeling of his warm breath on you silences all your thoughts and you can only react on primal instincts.

His crotch brushes against your bare folds, slick with your leaking wetness. Kissing him this passionately always leaves you feeling needy, and it embarrasses you that you get turned on so easily. But you don’t realize that is his intention as he glides his fingers all over your labia, making sure you’re ready to take all of him.

Kissing you this passionately always leaves him feeling horny, and it’s apparent with his cock begging to be taken out of the restraints of his underwear. You don’t know how long you’ve been kissing, but your lips are numb when he pulls away to position himself in your entrance. He doesn’t prepare you, but he doesn’t rush himself either as he painfully slowly enters you. You hold your breath and gawn on your swollen lip, moans catching in your throat and leaving as high-pitched hums. He sighs at the feeling of your pulsating walls. “God… always so tight. Don’t you ever touch yourself?”

He bottoms out and you whimper shakily at how full you are. The fact that he fits you like a puzzle piece convinces you that he’s your forever, your meant to be. Even with your lack of experience with other men, you believe no one can make you feel this dreamy. And to think he’s all yours now… “I-I don’t. I only want to do it with you.”

The atmosphere is so fragile, so romantic. It’s not your delusion this time, because he feels it too and it makes his heartbeat sync with yours: unsteady and rapid. And in the heat of the moment, he reveals, “I think I’m in love with you.”

A whine leaves you, so loud that it can’t be achieved with touch but with his words. It’s the utmost pleasure, and when he realizes what he said, he sets a rushed pace to distract himself from the embarrassment of pouring his feelings. You don’t allow him to forget as you echo, “I’m in love with you too.”

“No, no,” he denies with a shake of his head and it emits more love confessions out of you in a chain of ‘I love you’s, and he grunts, “Stop. Shut up!” He pins your forearms on either side of your head in a bruisening grip and thrusts into you harder. You have no choice but to scream in pleasure, unable to form coherent words when he’s practically fucking your brains out.

His feelings of humiliation translate to his actions: he pushes himself down to the hilt, throbbing with lust but doesn’t chase his high. He doesn’t want you to talk, not when he’s blushing for more than one reason, so he ignores the contraction of his muscles and just fucks you until he can’t anymore, hypnotized by the bounce of your tits.

Maybe it’s a good thing that he’s so desperate, hitting your most sensitive spot with every thrust and making your eyes screw back. Neither of you can think, so loud and reckless until you reach your climax. It’s core shaking, as you cry out his name and tremble with stimulation. He��s never seen this expression on your face, one so twisted in pleasure and looking so erotic. It comes as a surprise and in the form of a punch in the gut as he savours your appearance before cumming inside you with a groan. A slip-up, a mistake, but he doesn’t care as he paints your walls in white, his load filling you up.

And he can’t regret it when he pulls out, because the drizzle of his cum spilling out of your pussy easily becomes his favorite sight. “Shit,” he whispers as more and more drips while you twitch and spasm from your orgasm. You don’t even realize what he’s done, and that makes his chest swell with pride; the most level-headed woman he knows is leaking with his release and stupidly doesn’t spare it a thought. And with that hickey on your neck? “You look fucking gorgeous,” he exhales. A bashful smile stretches across your face with eyes still tightly shut, and you don’t notice him grab your phone on the other side of the bed to take a picture of your stained pussy.

“This one is for me,” he mutters to himself. Click.

After posting the softcore photos on your account and tagging himself in them, as well as a note of a pharmacy’s address across campus with a label written for you to get two separate contraceptives as an emergency and for your next creampie, he leaves your dorm. You fell asleep on him, and though he had wanted to join you, he decided to collect his scrambled thoughts and go to Taehyung’s dorm first. He isn’t livid, but he has a few questions to ask.

He’s playing cards with Yoongi, Taehyung’s roommate, as he patiently waits for his arrival. “What’s wrong about asking for her Instagram, though?” Yoongi asks before drawing out a card of ace. “Isn’t she our friend by association anyway?”

“It’s suspicious,” Jungkook murmurs while inspecting his deck. “Have you ever seen Taehyung with a girl before? As friends? He’s clearly trying to fuck her.”

Yoongi stifles a laugh, “That’s a reach. Besides, you two have shared a girl before. Are you actually dating her?”

Shuffling is heard behind the door until it swings open as Taehyung enters. “Kookie! What are you doing here?” He throws his keycard on his bed before hopping on Yoongi’s to watch their game.

It’s strained, Jungkook notices. His excitement is forced; why? “I came here for you,” he states bluntly. “A little birdie told me you’ve been talking to someone who belongs to me.”

“I didn’t realize she was your diary,” he tries to lighten the mood with a joke. “What’s the deal anyway? You said you weren’t dating her.”

Yoongi collects the deck of cards after Jungkook drops them, and shuffles them while eavesdropping. He’s sitting cross-legged across from Jungkook, and Taehyung is sitting on the edge of the bed next to him with his body turned sideways.

“I also said that unless you have a death wish, don’t talk to her,” he grits. “And asking for her social media? Are you into her now?”

Taehyung merely shrugs. “I thought she was pretty chill. I don’t know why you’re so mad.”

“She obviously means something to him, so I think you should just respect that, Taehyung,” Yoongi voices his thoughts while leafing the cards. Jungkook looks to the side and pokes the inner cheek of his mouth with his tongue but doesn’t argue.

“I think he’s just using her.” Jungkook’s reaction is instant as Taehyung’s nose instantly starts to bleed from the impact of his fist. Yoongi doesn’t look up. He holds a hand over his injury with a hiss and continues, “Really, Kook? A little too much, don’t you think?”

“Less than enough,” Jungkook fumes, “I like her, and she likes me. Just fucking leave it at that.”

“Couple of the year,” Taehyung chuckles mockingly, “I give it two days.” He stands up before Jungkook can hit him again. “Can’t wait to console her after your break-up, maybe she’ll fall in love with me next.”

Jungkook starts chasing him around the room as Taehyung runs without stopping his provocation. “Why so upset Jungkook? Do you see it happening too? I’m already imagining how tight-”

“You should leave, Jungkook.” Neither of them listen to Yoongi, so he yells, “Jungkook, leave!”

A moment of deafening silence passes as both of them pause to catch their breaths. “She’s too sweet,” Taehyung begins, “too kind, too nice, everything you’re not. You wouldn’t be trying to keep me away from her if you didn’t know that. Are you afraid she’ll like me better?”

“Go fuck yourself,” Jungkook spits with a heaving chest. “She’s loyal to me, but I’m sure you’re not familiar with that concept. No wonder your relationships only last one night.” With a final glare, he leaves as told to return to you. The only thing he needs right now is one more ‘I love you’ from you, as much as he hates it. Maybe he’s cruel, but he doesn’t know anyone who isn’t aside from you.

Maybe Taehyung is just as cruel, fantasizing about all the ways he could be better for you before drifting off to sleep with a bandage over his wounded nose. He can just be a friend to both of you… he can be good too…

#bts imagines #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts smut #jeon jungkook #jungkook imagines #jungkook smut #jungkook x reader #jjk smut #bts fic #kpop #jungkook fic #jeon jungoook smut

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kanaesparadise · 3 years

Note

How would the valo agents react to s/o surprising them with Romance (roses petals on the bed, candles, chocolate dipped cherries, the works)?

Ok i can write this but it would be bad because i'm not a romantic person and i don't know much about stuff like that. I tried to write as many characters as I could, I hope you like it dear <3

Sage

-Sage isn't used to this kind of thing and she would be quite surprised if you did, but she would be really happy if you did something for her.

-She may not be able to romanticize the way you do, but she tries to do things with you that she likes to do.

-You can have tea with Sage in the garden of the base, or she can take you to a nice place where you can have a picnic alone before sunset.

-Even though she doesn't like extravagance, she would be grateful to you for the effort you put into her.

Killjoy

-Killjoy is a very busy woman and she doesn't want to waste her time on this type of romance.

-Under normal circumstances, it's pretty easy to keep Killjoy happy. You just need to say a few nice words of encouragement and make frequent physical contact with her.

-She has enough time for little things like this anyway. If she has that much time, she would rather hug you and sleep. That's why she doesn't like big events and surprises.

-No matter what, even though she doesn't like what you do under normal circumstances, she tries to keep up with you as much as possible.

-She really doesn't want you to feel bad for doing something for her.

-"Oh, thanks for all of these thing sweetie but can't we just cuddle and sleep together? Sleeping with you is enough for me."

Viper

-She would openly tell you that she finds such things unnecessary.

-Although Viper is not as busy as other agents, she is a woman of simplicity. Instead of these romantic surprises you will do, she can spare time for something better.

-But she wouldn't have told you that in such a rude way, she cares about your feelings no matter what.

-"I don't like surprises like this, but thank you for your effort, dear. How about something to eat outside?"

-If you persistently ask her to look at everything you have prepared, she will fulfill your request, even if for an hour, because she cannot break you.

Reyna

-Reyna finds everything you prepare for her very cute.

-Reyna is a woman who likes luxury and she has a really unique stance. Usually, no one can predict how Reyna will react, so you thought you were actually taking a risk while making these plans.

-But Reyna didn't think so. No matter how much she disliked something, you were very precious for her. In order to make Reyna love something, it will be enough to do what you are trying to make her like. She finds your effort very cute.

-"Aww, thank you darling. You're really so sweet~"

Jett

-Jett doesn't quite know how to react to this kind of romantic stuff, but her eyes will sparkle if you make some good snacks for her.

-"Oh. My. God. These chocolates are legendary! How well my precious darling knows her girlfriend!"

-If you want to feed her yourself, she will eat from your hand without any objection.

-Even she might like it.

-She will definitely do something to make up for it. She will most likely try to put together everything you love in one day.

-Although she was embarrassed by your other romantic gestures, she would act as if she thanked you frequently during the day.

-"Thank you babe, you don't need to do all of these things for me."

Omen

-He could hardly react to your preparations, as he could hardly remember human feelings anymore.

-He tries to be as polite as possible, if he unintentionally says something hurtful, be sure he did it unconsciously.

-He would be very happy if you did something with the knitting techniques he taught you. Using something he happily shows you makes him emotional.

-He may not be able to figure out why some of the things you have prepared for him were made, but he will not say anything because he is afraid of misunderstanding and hurt you.

-Instead, he stares at that thing for a long time.

-When you tell him everything, he will be grateful to you for seeing him so valuable.

-"Thank you so much (Y/N) for treating me like I'm still a human being. My only fear is to lose a precious person like you."

Cypher

-He thinks that he is too old for such activities, but if you have worked for him, he will not let you down.

-He can only make annoying jokes sometimes but not the kind of jokes that will hurt you.

-While you show him everything excitedly, he listens to you smiling under his mask.

-He'd take off his hat and lay it on your head when you'd shown Cypher everything and then turned to see how he would react. He would take off his mask and kiss you passionately.

-"Thank you for everything darling. You're really very considerate of me."

Yoru

-Yoru finds most romantic things absurd. According to him, there are much better activities that you can do together.

-He may have a slightly negative reaction at first, but when he sees you are upset, he suppresses his own thoughts for a while and just listens to you.

-Even if he doesn't like these kinds of things, seeing your excitement makes him smile.

-"I think this kind of romantic stuff is unnecessary- I'M SORRY I DID NOT MEAN IT, IT'S ALL SO GOOD! God, you can be so scary when you want to."

-If you get angry with him, then he doesn't say a word and listens to you.

-He actually likes it secretly, he's just embarrassed.

Phoenix

-He would be abnormally happy. He would be very emotional because no one gave him such surprises.

-Because he loves surprises and likes to surprise his other friends.

-It doesn't matter what you do for him, just caring for him and preparing something is enough to make Phoenix happy.

-"My beautiful angel is the best lover in the world! I can't believe you're trying to do this much for me! This is all just for me, right? I won't share it with others, only you~"

KAY/O

-He couldn't understand why you did all these things.

-"I don't understand why you did all this. Is today a special day or something? If so, why didn't the other agents come?"

-You need to explain him why you do all of this. After you explain he try to understand this acts.

-"If I'm right, you do these things for me, right? And its name is affection or romance."

-After explaining everything to him, he would be quite surprised. He was a robot, he didn't understand why you were treating him the way people are treated. But deep down, he had a deep affection for you, and he was sure of it.

-So at least Killjoy told him it was true.

-It would be like Omen, but more curious about these things and more trying to learn. Only for you!

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yourlocalmaraudersbabe · 3 years

Note

Helloooo! How are you? I really like your fics! <3 Can i request some headcanons for young!Sirius? Or maybe kid!Sirius? How do you think he was like? What if he and Y/n were best friends? Would he go to her for comfort when his parents are nasty with him? Sorry for my horrible English🤡 still struggling with it.. (maybe that's why i read so many fics😂) Best wishes!

“I'm starting to think that we deserve each other”

Summary: Headcanons of Sirius and eventually confessing feelings

Pairing: Sirius x Muggleborn!reader (it’s literally mentioned like one time)

Warnings: swearing, angst, parent/family issues (?)

A/N: Ahh hi anon! Thanks so much for sending this in, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it :)))) Ahhh but this was also a little different style of writing than I usually do so let me know how you guys feel about it! I’m also just like, obviously in love with Sirius Black so um, they get into a little bit at the end and confess some things :=) Ooo, as always, send me an ask if you’d like to be added to my taglist! I also should let you know that I wrote this very late at night so the logistics and grammar might be shit

Word Count: 2054

Masterlist + Characters and ships I write for

Requests are always open <3

I have more time since it’s now summer so please send them in!! :)

Reminder that I do not support jkr. Do not interact if you do.

It was well known throughout your first years at Hogwarts that you and Sirius did not get along. He honestly annoyed the shit out of you everyday. He came from a rich pureblood family and you were a muggleborn, so anyone could see how the two of you clashed there.

All of the professors were completely done with you and Sirius’s antics. It started off with Sirius somehow managing to turn your hair green during the first flying lesson that the Gryffindors had. “Hey y/n, your hair is amazing! Didn’t think you could pull off the green!” a peer had spoken to you just before mounting your broom.

Sirius broke out into a nearly uncontrollable laughter and got a detention for it. But of course, none of that stopped you from getting back at him. Even just the simplest of pranks had gotten the job done.

There was one prank at the start of second year that earned you and Sirius a month’s worth of detention with Slughorn. He basically had the two of you as his personal assistants. It was honestly torture. But there were moments when he would step away from his classroom to talk to another professor, or slip away into his office to plan the next day’s lesson, and it would leave you and Sirius alone.

The two of you gave in and finally had a conversation with each other. It wasn’t much and it was very awkward, but seeing as this was your first day out of a month’s long sentence of detention, someone to talk with didn’t sound too bad.

And that was what blossomed a very chaotic friendship between the two of you. Having to suffer together was what drew the connection. You two eventually planned your own little pranks against other people.

Despite everything in your younger years of being at Hogwarts, Sirius was your closest friend. You could maybe go as far as to call him your best friend, but you’d never say that to his face, it’d add to his already huge ego.

You ate nearly every meal with him. You’d practically drag him into the library to study. He mentioned something about doing well in school for his parents, so that’s what you’d help him with.

Though the two of you quickly learned that it’s very hard to focus in each other’s presence.

You taught him how to braid hair. He practiced using yours. “Would you stay still, y/n?”

“I’m trying! You’re the one yanking me back and forth, Sirius.”

From that point after, you’d sit in between his legs on the floor as he sat on the couch.

He got you sucked into quidditch and nearly got you to try out for the team. “I think it’d be fun having you on the team!”

“I think that’s your way of saying you want to spend more time with me.”

“Of course,” SIrius shook his head no.

One day he saw someone in the hall walk by with eyeliner and he demanded that the two of you try putting it on yourselves.

This ultimately got you in trouble for staying up way too late, laughing at how silly you both looked in the prefect bathrooms. Lily would allow you in saying “This is going to get my badge taken from me, I swear.”

You two eventually got back to studying after Sirius received some notes from his parents.

You caught on quickly that he didn’t have the best relationship regarding his family.

It was actually a little difficult being friends with Sirius at first. It was very hard for him to just be vulnerable and talk, but by fourth year, you understood where he came from and didn’t push for anything. You listened to him the very few times when he would make small little notes of his family, or talked about his brother while passing him in the hall.

Your conversations were more so filled with random things that only really made sense to the two of you. Any outsider would’ve thought you two were completely crazy.

By fifth year, you were looking at Sirius in a whole different light and you hated it. You wanted to be way more than friends and didn’t know what to do with yourself. You started to avoid him. This was the worst and best decision ever. It’s still debatable.

While the rest of your friends were taking a little day to Hogsmeade, and while you were still on a streak of pretty much avoiding Sirius, you slipped off from the courtyard, taking a less used corridor towards the library.

Here, you found Sirius with his shoulders shaking, head in his hands, and your heart shattered. If you were feeling this, you couldn’t even begin to imagine what he must feel like. He didn’t pay any mind to his surroundings until you slid down the wall next to him, placing your hand on his shoulder.

He didn’t even have to look to know that it was you. He leaned into your shoulder while you brought your arm around him, quiet sobs escaping from his body.

He always kept parts of him, especially these emotions so closed off, that it honestly was a little surprising to see him like this. “Sere, tell me what’s wrong,” you whispered.

“I- um, it’s nothing. I just got a letter from home and it’s-” he broke down again.

At this point you let your legs stretch in front of you. He was still under your arms until he just let himself go. He let himself feel. And relax. And he understood that it’s okay to cry. And be vulnerable. And that you were safe to talk to about anything. He hugged you full on. He clung on tight as he cried. And man, you were fucked. This wasn’t helping any sort of feelings you were trying to suppress by being here in his presence. It honestly nearly broke you. You wanted to cry for him. Scream for him. Go off on his parents for him. You wanted to protect him from all that could ever hurt him this way.

He talked about everything that has happened up until the letter and stammered off his explanation with one final point. “A-and I’ve missed spending time with you. It’s like you’ve been avoiding me,” he mumbled into the thick air. He was laying down against you with your fingers in his hair. “It’s like I- I’m missing a part of me. Like we’re so close I couldn’t possibly imagine my life without you.”

You stumbled over your words, trying to find out what to say. ‘If only he knew’ you wanted to groan out into the air. “I’m sorry,” was all you could say, tears stinging your eyes while you blinked them back, hugging him tightly.

From that moment, the two of you had bought bracelets at Hogsmeade and spelled them to change a certain color for when the other wanted to talk, or simply just needed to be with the other. They were simple fabric ones, something you both liked and wore everyday.

Most of the time Sirius came to talk to you about his parents. Which was new considering he was a little closed off before.

You were there if he needed to cry. You would hold him if he needed a hug. You would laugh with him when he didn’t want to be the only one. You were there for him for everything.

There was one night that was really bad. His parents basically sent a letter saying not to come home in the future. You were supposed to meet him in the library yet he wasn’t there.

After asking around, you found him in the Gryffindor common room when it was far too late for you to even be out. His face was tear stained and his eyes were an irritated pink. Though he didn’t seek you in the first place, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, burying himself in your comfort.

By sixth year it was supposedly “Painfully obvious you two were basically in love with each other” Remus would say every time you gave up a library visit to be with Sirius. Or James would very blatantly leave you both to carry out specific parts of a prank together. Lily would just leave you and Sirius alone together whenever she got the chance, really.

One particular Gryffindor win for Sirius was crashed by some Slytherins who came without any good intentions. It was soon discovered that there was veritaserum in the drinks that, of course, you and your friends had already enjoyed.

All of this prompted you to leave the party. You left with a big group of people, Remus, James, Peter, Lily, Mary, Marlene, all off to the grounds, trying to avoid any trouble. You stayed back with Remus and Sirius while the rest walked ahead, talking about the most random of things, like how Remus wants to ride a unicorn. He eventually sped up with the rest of the group, claiming he was going to ride a unicorn, properly drunk. “Mhm, yeah. You go have fun with that Remus,” Sirius called to him as he stumbled ahead.

You and Sirius couldn’t go as far as to say you were drunk, but definitely tispy. You walked over to a small tree and sat yourself under it, laying back against it. Sirius did the same thing except he leaned his head on your shoulder and you leaned yours on top of his. It was a sweet moment as he mindlessly played with a thread hanging from your robes.

The veritaserum didn’t bother the two of you much, you were honest with each other most of the time anyways. Well, it didn’t bother you much until Regulus and a few of his friends stood over you, making fun of how close you and Sirius were. You kept your mouths shut for as long as you could. “What it’s not like you like each other. Do you, Sirius?” Regulus pushed.

“I actually like y/n a lot. She’s always there for me and—” Sirius slapped his hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

“Hmm, and I don't suppose you feel the same way, y/n?”“

“I have feelings for Sirius,” you blurted out right as Regulus and his friends walked away.

Sirius looked over to you, smiling like an idiot. You leaned your head back against the tree, covering your face with your hands just before he pulled them away. He squeezed them in a comforting manner and asked why you hadn’t said anything before. “Because you’re such a great person, like you deserve the world and I don’t think I’d be enough a-and I hate that people keep asking questions because I’m on this stupid veritaserum that’s making me look like an idiot

He cut you off with a kiss, effectively shutting you up. The kiss was rushed at first before turning into something exploding with passion that you didn’t even know you needed until now.

“Well, you’re a beautiful idiot. Because, as said before,” he mumbled the last part, returning to his normal tone of voice. “I like you too. A-and I guess that you could tell me that I’m an idiot because—”

“Why didn’t you tell me you liked me, Sirius?”

“My entire life is a mess and I have too many problems and you’re always there for me to begin with, I’d take up too much of your time if we actually ended up dating. And you’re perfect and I look like absolute shit all the time. Just as you said you deserve the world but as I’m saying all this, I’m starting to think,” he trailed off searching your eyes for words. “I'm starting to think that we deserve each other,” he finished in a soft voice.

“I think we deserve each other too,” you grabbed his face gently, kissing him.

That night is now the day you and Sirius started dating, one of the most memorable days of your lives.

You never left breakfast in the Great Hall without stealing a kiss.

Or a piece of bacon from his plate.

There’d be some nights where you could sneak away and fall asleep with him peacefully and everything seemed alright.

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 4 years

Text

The Voyage So Far: Dressrosa (Part Two)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

wild how this is upwards of 750 chapters in and yet i still get a big dumb smile whenever luffy declares he’s going to be king of the pirates. one piece is a series very much driven by its main characters and their goals and dreams- i don’t think it would be nearly as good if the main character was anyone but monkey d. luffy.

personally, i always just feel kind of proud whenever he says this, because- yeah!! he is!! that’s luffy, he’s going to be king of the pirates, and we’ve known that since day fucking one.

i really think there’s something to be said about usopp never taking credit for saving luffy and law from sugar. it’s arguably his greatest feat in the entire series thus far- an impossible, perfect shot across an entire country, with an angry mob inches from his back- and he never even tells anybody he did it. he’s come a long way from someone who tells tall tales about heroic acts he never did to someone who doesn’t even feel the need to take credit for ones he really did, so long as his friends are safe.

i really like how corazon’s introduction and characterization throughout the flashback is handled. at the start of law’s flashback, we know a few things about him already: that he’s someone law loved very much, and that he was killed by doflamingo. we know how this ends.

but then cora is introduced as a clumsy mute weirdo who nearly kills law as one of the very first things he does, and we as the audience aren’t really sure how to reconcile that- and then the rest of the flashback is us, along with law, slowly discovering what a complicated and contradictory but ultimately good person he is. something very similar happens with the asl flashback- we know the endpoint of luffy and ace’s relationship, but the flashback is all about how they got there, from attempted murder to willing self-sacrifice.

i think it’s really cool the way law and doflamingo’s backstories are layered together. they’re characters who exist with a lot of parallels and similarities between them already, which is something they’re both clearly aware of- i’ve mentioned before i think the only real difference between them is that law got corazon where doflamingo got the executives- and presenting their backstories simultaneously only makes that more obvious.

i’ve always found it so interesting that we get what’s pretty much our only substantial exposition about the will of d direct from a former celestial dragon. it makes sense- cora’s basically the only character we’ve met who both has this information and is willing to share it- but i don’t know, there’s something that feels very poetic to me about him having this information that’s clearly been suppressed and hidden by the dragons and willingly choosing to share it in order to help protect law, a D, who should technically be the very enemy he was once taught to hate and fear.

i really like corazon.

it fucks me up that we can tell the exact moment cora dies from the moment law starts making noise again.

this might be a controversial take? i’m not sure. but i like baby five. i think her and sai’s relationship is really sweet, and people might complain about her getting off easy or whatever but i’m honestly glad she gets a happy ending after being thoroughly emotionally abused and broken her entire life. and on a lighter note, she’s also just a fun character to watch through the whole arc- the running gag with her crying whenever law glares at her is still one of my favorites in the whole series.

the shot of robin’s bloody back is a favorite of mine, because it’s a reveal that doesn’t get lingered on at all, and yet at once it gives the entire proceeding scene a lot more weight when we understand just how much pain she must’ve been in the entire time. and yet she never even flinched or faltered while protecting rebecca. nico robin is very, very strong.

there’s something so deliciously fitting about diamante’s final fall ending with him cracking his head on scarlett’s grave, and something so lovely about kyros and rebecca finally getting their proper reunion there, when neither of them ever really got a chance to mourn.

law’s line about the strawhats trailing nothing but miracles in their wake is one of the first ones i always think of when i think about the strawhats in general and luffy in particular, mostly because it’s so true. from the very beginning, the strawhats have been doing the impossible, from sailing to the sky to breaking in and out of the world’s greatest prison, and law saw that and staked all his hopes on it and they did not let him down.

also i think it’s very cool of law to, when held at gunpoint and down an arm, grin, flip doflamingo off, and tell him to eat shit and that luffy is going to kick his ass. love that for him.

i think dressrosa does a very good job of making the victory against doflamingo equally law’s and luffy’s. they cooperate and trade off fighting him throughout the arc to great effect, and i think it’s pretty clear that neither of them could have tackled the massive challenge of dressrosa alone.

while the final fight is luffy’s, it’s made clear that that’s only after law’s done absolutely everything he could and spent the majority of the arc distracting doflamingo, keeping him occupied, and even fucking shredding his insides with pure radiation before finally needing to tap out. i think it’s a good balance, given that luffy is the protagonist but law’s grudge against doflamingo is the driving force behind the entire arc.

conqueror’s haki clashes are always very cool, pretty much regardless of who or where or why, but the one between luffy and doflamingo is a favorite.

one of the things that’s always impressed me about one piece in comparison to other shounen series is how it handles its powerscaling- in that it does it well with a gradual increase and villains who vary widely in strength instead of every arc necessarily needing to be bigger and better than the last- and i think the way it handles powering up the main characters is a big part of that.

through the entirety of one piece thus far, i’d say luffy has had three major power-ups- second and third gear in enies lobby, haki at the timeskip, and gear four here in dressrosa (an argument could also be made for ryuuou in wano, but i think that’s less major than these others). this helps prevent runaway powerscaling and also makes new power-ups feel like a genuine event, which i really like.

i once referred to luffy as ‘hopebringer’ in a conversation with friends, and it’s a descriptor for him i think sums up really well how he manages to save so many people while insistently not being a hero. luffy inspires people, inspires whole countries, starting all the way back with coby in romance dawn. it’s one of the reasons i think it’s fitting how thoroughly he’s associated with the dawn.

doflamingo is very, very scary. which is interesting, because he’s indisputably less powerful someone like kaidou, but at the same time i find him a much scarier villain, and i think it comes down to doflamingo’s gleeful, wanton cruelty. not that kaidou is in any way shape or form a nice person, but our first introduction to doflamingo is him forcing marines to attack each other just because he’s a little bored. he hurts people just because he can, and finds it funny.

relating to my earlier comment about hope, i really like how the whole country comes together at the end to cheer luffy on and count down to his return. it makes it feel all the more triumphant when it does, especially for the citizens of dressrosa who’ve been suffocating under doflamingo’s rule for years and can finally, finally see freedom.

other people have put a lot more thought of the symbolism of doflamingo’s eyes and glasses than i intend to, but i’ll settle for saying that it’s the breaking of the glasses, before anything else, before the birdcage even vanishes from the sky and everyone is safe, that shows us that, at long last, doflamingo is well and truly defeated. his glasses break, and so does his power.

i’ve written a longer post about it before (here) but it’s a recurring motif that one piece’s worst villains are those that steal people’s freedom, including, in the cruelest cases, the freedom to express their emotions openly. we see it with koala and the celestial dragons, with the failed smile fruits in wano, and here, too, with kyros. and, much like koala, triumph for him means finally being able to cry.

i mentioned it back in the first post, but i’m so, so happy rebecca and kyros get the happy ending they deserve. they’ve both been fighting a war that they never should have had to for years and years, and they both deserve to get to just live, now, peaceful and quiet and together and surrounded by flowers.

i really dig the note dressrosa ends on. it’s happy, of course, obviously, with the liberation of the country, kyros and rebecca’s happy ending, the creation of the grand fleet, even law getting some degree of closure through his talk with sengoku, but it also leaves this massive, gaping question- what now?

in a way, doflamingo’s speech here follows up on law’s new era speech from punk hazard. luffy and law have just thrown a major wrench into the delicate power equilibrium of the entire new world, and we have all these characters out there who might be affected, who might want to take advantage, who might try to seize the throne.

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #arc: dressrosa #long post #not japanese

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saudade-mayari · 3 years

Note

💜AAAAAAH, I GOT SO EXCITED SENDING THE REQUEST I COMPLETELY FORGOT TO MENTION I WAS REQUESTING 2,6 AND 62 FROM LIST N°1! ;v; And yet I found the time to ramble,,, ywy Many sorries!! >v<" I am truly ashamed... UvU"

Changes & Miscalculations

Rock Lee x gn!reader

warnings: post war era, angst, domestic fluffs

a/n: I truly appreciate your very long and detailed request! I do hope I managed to hit up ur expectation in this fic omg💜

2) “You make me feel. You make me feel and I hate it.”

6) “I would honestly die before I let anything happen to you.”

62) “I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.”

You looked straight ahead at the Hokage stone faces and the lights they had just put up together, knowing he was looking at you it somehow made you feel, powerful but at the same time inferior. Is that even possible? At first, you thought it wasn’t but whenever you are with him, it’s really possible to feel all sorts of emotions. You kept cool and expressionless. You knew that was how you could stay in control, though you did wonder about him. Why hadn't he ever made a move on her? Was it just your miscalculations?

“y/n!!” He screamed by the hills. Completely getting your attention, his hands resting on his hips, his bowl-cut raven hair swirling along with the breeze of Konoha with his classic smile that never seems to fade. Over the years he’d grown much stronger, fiercer, and braver after the 4th great ninja war.

“What? Lee, you’re being loud” He gave you a wider smile when he saw that irritated and sulky look on your face completely ignoring your annoyed look, and instead, he gave a pat on your head, holding your hand that you had sworn to yourself that it sent shivers to your spine. This guy is really something else.

“Being grumpy is not part of youth, come here y/n!!” He pulled you closer to his, your legs closer to him, and feeling his calloused hand brushed to your shoulders. You never muttered a word, just followed his instructions and did as you are told. You twirled your hands away from his sight, letting the silence torture him, feeling a slight pang of guilt but it vanished as soon as he spoke.

“C’mon y/n what’s the problem. You’re never this quiet whenever we go here.” Just the way Lee had emphasized the both of you going here like it’s your spot. It was as if it’s only meant for the both of you. Truth be told you were absolutely afraid, of course, you’re friends with this man for Kami knows when already but you yourself knew it was more than that. He is well-loved by everyone, anyone would have liked Lee and you know you wouldn’t stand a chance to the lady Lee loves and the fact that you both live in the same apartment doubles the tension, you never want to be closer to him but you felt like you needed to be closer to him. Like it was some kind of necessity, completely essential to your living.

“You know what Lee you make feel absolutely worst!” You blurted out, after a few minutes of deafening silence, you finally spoke. Lee gave out one shocking glance to your sudden remarks. Flustered and afraid, he sat down like he is some kind of obedient puppy waiting for your strict orders. “I-is everything okay?”

“No! You make me feel all sorts of emotions and I hate it. I really hate it.”

“Is it bad?” His innocent remarks doubled the anger. You were the only one feeling this and probably for Lee, it’s just some petty drama. You decided not to mutter a word, massive thoughts clouding in your mind would mean a war with him, and choosing not to talk would be the safest way to escape this drama. “y/n talk to me.”

For a while it startled you, Lee was never this serious even on missions. He always wanted to make sure things are on their positive side but now is different. His voice, his gaze, and his posture look different. It scares you. The friendship both of you had protected over the years is at its stake.

“What’s this feeling? Why do my heart flutter whenever you hold me? Why do you always protect me? We’re supposed to be friends and roommates and I just know this is more than just that!!! But I know you, you like someone else so why act like this Lee, I don’t even understand this and I hate you for it.”

“Don’t ask me why I protect you. You know that I would honestly die before I let anything happen to you.”

“You know what. You’re so confusing. Why do I even love you.” You whispered while looking around the Hokage’s stone faces, desperately trying to suppress your tears from falling. How can he be so ignorant? How can you be so devoted to a guy who wouldn’t even consider your feelings. You were just some petty roommate of him, no big deal.

To all your surprise, the typical optimistic Lee you have known is far from what you’re seeing right now. It was nothing but a dull and emotionless Rock Lee. It’s what you get for crossing the imaginary line both of you had set. It’s what you get from crossing the boundaries that shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

“Tenten is right.” He muttered, going closer to your place as he knelt in front of you, covering the wonderful scenery of Konohagakure that you’ll never get tired of seeing. “It’s not youthful to deny the feelings we have y/n. It’s not what Guy Sensei taught us.”

“I’m not sure when it happened, but I fell in love with you, and it was the best thing I’ve ever done. I don’t regret anything.”

Your thoughts run free as he gazes into the horizon. Murmuring softly into his ear as Lee leans down along the smooth length of your neck. Ears flick back as your soft words ease into the man’s consciousness. “L-liar.”

“Gaara-kun told me I should be honest and I’m doing it. I love you.”

A pair of arms hugged you and there it goes… The anger filled in your heart paved away, you just broke down of it. A soft cry escapes your mouth as you buried your cheek against the Konoha flak jacket of Lee. The extreme and sudden pain in your chest filling with the need to run into the impending storm. You ached to free yourself from his grip. It feels home. Love. A silent tear courses down your cheek when Lee never let go of your dainty body and only finding yourself hugging him tighter while looking at his dark orbs filled with rock-hard determination.

“I love you too a lot… you stupid ignorant Lee… I hate it when you wake up early…”

Moaning softly as the wind increases, you felt him pull your hair between his fingers in a sweet caress. Lee chuckled at your response as he kissed your head, taking his time to smell your earthy scent that he had gotten used to.

“I’m not early, you’re just simply lazy” He retorted back

“Is being a poet makes you youthful now?”

Lee once again gave out a louder chuckle as he untangled himself from the hug to see your face in a clearer view. Still sulking from the heated conversation you both had few minutes ago. He kissed the tip of your nose and gave out his classic smile that you wished to see for the rest of your eternity.

“Guess you could say that, sleepyhead.”

Requests for 500 followers event status: CLOSED

Event Masterlist

#luna@500follows #rock lee #rock lee x reader #lee x reader #rock lee headcanons #lee x you #lee imagines #lee #naruto imagines #rock lee imagines #rock lee fan fiction #naruto #naruto x reader #naruto requests #naruto fandom #rock lee x gaara #lee x gaara

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writings-of-a-british-fangirl · 4 years

Text

Changing Spirits (Zuko x Reader) [Everything Has Changed Part 3]

Title: Changing Spirits Summary: You settled in with the gang, but are confronted by a very real issue when Zuko reveals that he's 'lost' his fire bending ability. You also relive memories of the past Warnings: None really Request: Some of you wanted part 3 so here it is!!

A/N: Been recieving a lot of positivity and love on the last two parts so thank you for that! xx

PART 1: EVERYTHING HAS CHANGED PART 2: CHANGE IS GOOD PART 3: CHANGING SPIRITS PART 4: A HEART OF CHANGE

Zuko~Changing Spirits

Waking up in a new environment was strange. It was colder than the fire nation, a gentle breeze could be felt through out the temple. It wasn't unwelcomed, however. You shifted in your bed, and glanced over at Zuko. He was still asleep, and for the first time in forever he looked relaxed. You gently rise and prop yourself up with one hand, and slowly take in the room.

It felt weird to be in a place like this.

The fire nation had always taught you growing up that it was the most glorious nation in existence: that it had the best architecture, the most clever scientists, the only worthy culture- and yet you find yourself almost in awe here. How different would've it have been had it not been for your people 100 years ago... You try not to think about it.

Taking one last look at Zuko, you get out of bed. You decide to leave him sleeping. He looks so peaceful, it would be a shame to disturb him. And, besides, you know he needs the sleep. He hadn't slept well in the fire nation; he told you himself. He couldn't sleep, not with the guilt he felt. You wished you could sleep longer too; you know you need the rest. Hunger calls you, though, and so does curiosity. Although you feel nervous about how the gang will react to you, you know that they wouldn't deny you food. Or, at least, you hoped they wouldn't.

---

"Hi," you awkwardly say as you leave the temple, approaching the group of misfit teens in front of you, "Uh, I just wondered if I'd missed breakfast..."

You feel stupid now after saying it out loud, and you want the ground to swallow you whole as there is no immediate reply from the gang. Your heart begins to sink, and you want to back away, but you lift your head as you hear Toph speak.

"I thought you and moody were never going to get up," Toph teases with a smile on her face, "Breakfast is over there."

"Thank you," you murmur, "Zuko is sleeping in- yesterday was quite a long day."

You sit down next to Sokka, making sure to leave enough space between the two of you so that you don't offend him or make him uncomfortable. You grab a bowl of breakfast- it smells delicious. Doing your best to be quiet and let the others speak, you listen to their conversation. It's hard to imagine less than a year ago this is who you were hunting. So much has changed. You were deep in thought, only to be brought from it by Sokka's voice.

"So what's the deal with you and the prince of darkness anyway? Are you dating or something?" Sokka asks and you are kind of taken aback. ` You look up, a blush on your face.

"Ur, no... No, it's not like that," you insist.

"Your heart rate says otherwise," Toph laughs.

You shoot her a look that you're sure she can feel.

"We're just friends. We've been friends since we were kids. His mum... She took me in when my parents died. My father- he lost his life in the war and my mother... She was very ill for a long time. I owe Zuko and his mother my life," you open up to them, "I'm sorry I overshared I didn't-"

"-I'm sorry that happened to you," Aang says, "That can't have been easy to share."

"I don't think I've told anyone else that. Showing emotion in the fire nation is weakness," you tell them, "I know it's no excuse but I was brain washed from a young age. I'm glad I'm out here, doing the right thing."

"You're right it doesn't excuse the things you've done," Katara says, "And, it can never undo the things you've done."

"Katara, I-"

"-But, I'm glad you've joined us."

"You are?"

"I saw how hard you fought to save us from-"

"-Combustion Man," Sokka interrupts.

Katara glares at him before continuing, "Yes, Combustion Man, and I don't entirely trust you or Zuko yet because that comes with time but I'm glad you chose the right side."

"I know I can never undo what I've done, but I have changed. I'm sorry for what the fire nation did to your village- to all of your homes, and all of your families... The fire nation did a lot more than attack other nations- first they started with their own. I don't want the fire nation to be seen like that anymore.

My grandmother used to tell me stories of what the world was like before the war: all I want is to do my part in restoring that world. "

You and Katara share a look, and for the first time since you joined the Avatar, you finally have a moment of understanding.

---

When Zuko wakes up, he is alone. Panic sets in and he thinks something is wrong. But, then he waits and listens; he calms down when he hears your voice. It sounds like you're talking to the gang. Zuko can't help but smile when he hears your laughter. He hesitates for a second, before getting out of bed, and following the sound of your voice down the halls.

---

You hear footsteps and your head turns. It's Zuko: you smile at him and gesture for him to come over. He follows your lead cautiously and sits beside you. You serve him a bowl of breakfast, and go back to listening to the group talk. From one side, you can feel Zuko looking at you. When you gaze towards him, he looks away.

"How did you sleep?" you murmur to Zuko.

"Good..." Zuko replies, "What about you? You weren't there when I woke up."

"Oh, sorry," you say, putting your bowl of breakfast down, "I didn't want to wake you up. You looked like you needed a few more minutes."

Zuko blushes, but doesn't say anything else.

The day rolls on, and Zuko begins trying to teach Aang how to how to fire bend, which was proving more and more difficult by the hour. You decided not to watch them train. You'd sparred with Zuko on many occasions, and you thought your presence wouldn't make the situation any better. So, you decided to try and bond with the girls of the group.

Meanwhile, Sokka was dedicated to annoying Zuko.

"Come on Sifu Hotman," Sokka teased, "Where's your giant flames now?"

"I'm trying Sokka," Zuko said through gritted teeth, "Maybe it's that I can't concentrate when the only thing I can hear is the sound of your voice!"

"Maybe we should get your girlfriend to come and give you a pep talk," Sokka laughed.

Aang suppressed a laugh under his hand.

"Y/N isn't my girlfriend," Zuko yelled back.

"I never mentioned anything about Y/N- but if the shoe fits..."

"Go away!" Zuko fumed, resisting the urge to grab Zuko.

"I think it's best if you leave, Sokka," Aang says trying to diffuse the situation.

Sokka glanced at Aang and then gave a shrug. He made his way over to the rest of the gang, ignoring the glare he could feel in the back of his head- mostly likely from Zukko. ...Who was he kidding? It was definitely from Zuko. For some reason talking about you was a really good way to push Zuko's buttons. Sokka didn't mean anything malicious by it, but it was a small revenge to annoy him about you.

The water tribe boy sat down beside his sister with a huff.

"Got bored of watching the fire bending did we?" Katara asked.

"No, mostly because there wasn't much fire bending going on," Sokka said, before looking at you, "And, by the way your boyfriend is being extra moody today."

"He's not my- You know what, never mind," you stop yourself, "Wait, what do you mean by there wasn't much fire bending going on? Zuko's an excellent fire bender. You've all seen it- ah sorry Toph, I mean experienced it."

"No sweat," Toph reassures.

"I don't know," Sokka says, "All I know is that Sifu Hotman wasn't very hot."

"...That's strange," you murmur.

---

When Zuko and Aang come back later, you can tell something is off. Zuko seems upset, and angry... And, disappointed. You paused for a moment before saying anything. Something big was off. You'd seen Zuko grumpy before, but this wasn't just some small irritation. This was something huge.

"Listen everybody," Zuko announced, "I've got some pretty bad news. I've lost my stuff."

He sighs and looks down. 'His what?' you thought.

"Don't look at me," Toph exclaimed folding her arms, "I didn't touch your stuff."

"I'm talking about my fire bending. It's gone," Zuko corrected.

No, it couldn't be. That didn't make any sense. Zuko couldn't have lost his fire bending. He needed to teach Aang fire bending. Aang needed to master all four elements to defeat the Fire Lord. Oh, this was bad this was really bad. Part of you heard the others speak, but you weren't really listening. You were too busy panicking.

You interrupt them, "There's got to be a way to get it back though right?"

Zuko just kept his eyes to the ground.

"He just needs to go back to the original source of fire bending," Toph says confidently, "I learned earth bending from the badger moles. They were the original earth benders."

"The dragons," you murmur, "They were the original fire benders."

"And, they're extinct," Zuko huffs.

"How? What happened? Roku had a dragon," Aang says.

"They just are extinct okay?" Zuko snaps, turning away from the group.

Even though the dragons were extinct, the culture that worshipped them still had ruins. And, they weren't too far away. It was worth a shot. Anything was at this point. It was Zuko's destiny to teach Aang fire bending, you know it was- and, yet it was getting so difficult so early on. You sighed and put your head in your hands. No. No, it was too early for defeat. Zuko and Aang needed to visit the Sun Warrior's ruins. It was at least worth a shot.

Zuko and Aang had packed basic supplies and set off for the Sun Warrior's ruins. You tried not to feel too worried for them, but it was hard not to when you barely knew anything about the Sun Warriors. ...But, they went extinct so nothing good could've happened to them.

"Try not to miss me too much," you say to Zuko.

Zuko gives a small smile.

You hesitate then bring him in for a hug.

"Stay safe, okay?" you murmur more seriously.

You feel him hug back.

"I'll do my best to come back in one piece."

"You better."

---

You were thinking about Zuko all the rest of the day. They were gone too long for your liking. Sleeping alone in the room without Zuko didn't feel right. You tossed and turned and settled on your back. Your eyes stared up at the ceiling before your forced yourself to close them. You think back to all the times you spent sleeping beside Zuko- from sleep overs as a child, to on his war ship, to the small room in Ba Sing Sei... It didn't feel right: being without him.

You thought back to when you were children and you had snuck into his room.

~~~

"Zuko!" you yelled out, "Help me up."

The little prince ran to his window to see you clutching at his balcony. You'd scaled the side of the building, and had your hand wrapped around one of the rungs of the balcony. Zuko grabbed at your hand, and hauled you onto the balcony. You laughed as you fell into a lump onto Zuko.

"What the hell are you doing?" Zuko whisper-yelled, "Are you trying to wake everyone up?"

"No," you smiled, "I was trying to see you."

Zuko rolled his eyes.

"You could just use the door you know," he said, cracking a smile.

"Where's the fun in that?" you beamed, "Besides it was a very important mission: I hadn't seen you all day. I had to sneak in to make sure no enemies caught me."

"Yeah, sorry about that... I had 'royal stuff' to do with my father. I'd much rather spend time with you."

You smiled and begin telling him about your day, and your plans for tomorrow. Soon, it got later and later. The sun had set and you were both getting tired. You told Zuko you were going to go back to your room, but Zuko insisted you stay in his. You know- in case any enemies caught you. You caved in and clambered into his bed with him. It was your first sleep over ever!

And, it wouldn't be your last.

Zuko's mother opened the door, to check on her son. She smiled softly as she saw you and Zuko tucked up into bed. She didn't want to disturb you both so she just whispered good night, and gently closed the door. She always knew you and Zuko shared a life long bond.

If only she could see you now...

~~~

You hadn't mean to sleep in... It just sort of happened. It was probably a sign though; you needed the rest, and you had finally let the weight of everything sink in. The reality of your situation was finally settling in, and despite the conflict you had initially faced, you were here. Alive. And, for now well.

You'd were finally drawn from your sleep from a commotion. Voices.

Your ears practically pricked up at the sound of footsteps. Were Aang and Zuko finally back? Your question was answered when Zuko stepped into the door frame. You chucked your bed sheets off and ran to him. It was him this time that brought you in for a hug.

"You were gone so long."

"I know, I'm sorry," Zuko murmured.

"I hope this means you found something there," you say, breaking contact with him, "And, that you're a fire bending master again?"

"You could say that. Let's just say the dragons aren't as extinct as we thought."

"Good, because I was getting worried I was going have to take up the role of the grumpy fire bender in the group," you teased.

"Oh, so what role do you take?"

"I'm obviously the fun fire bender," you smiled, "Who brings the life to the party."

"Oh yeah, obviously."

Little did you know, Zuko had been thinking of you all the time he had been gone. As he learned about the original source of fire bending, he couldn't help but think back to you. And, he took you into his heart. Once, he was driven by anger and the desire to catch the Avatar.

That had changed: his motivations had changed. His very spirit had changed. He now wanted to save the world.

And, protect you.

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aghostlybao · 3 years

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not another filipino!bobby hcs

cw: mentioned/implied homophobia & internalised homophobia towards the end

bobby was part of his local church choir/band. it happened after his ma proudly mentioned that bobby could play the guitar when he was 10.

he met alex through church and quickly became friends. they’d sit beside each other without fail during sunday masses. though they hanged with different people at school, sunday mornings were theirs to enjoy since church became something they looked forward to every week.

they became each other’s reasons to not be ashamed of their religious practices as they grew up. it made them feel comfortable enough to talk about their beliefs and how it applied to their lives. it allowed them to safely explore where they stood about certain topics.

alex calls bobby’s mother ‘nay, short for nanay which means mother. in return, bobby’s mother has opted to calling alex anak (can be used for my child/daughter/son).

it’s become their thing to ask each other’s parents “mano po”, a form of showing respect and receiving an elders blessing, after every mass they attend. alex’s parents have actually been pretty accepting of bobby and believes he’s a good influence.

alex was the one who was fully aware of the academic pressure bobby was under in order to fulfil the career goal his mother had set for him. and had joined bobby to try and persuade her into allowing bobby to be a part of sunset curve.

the more he spent time playing with the band, the more he realised that he didn’t want to be in the medical field. bobby knew that the chances of him being allowed to drop the idea of being a surgeon was slim. instead he learnt to balance his studies with sunset curve practices, and the church band on top of figuring out what he actually wants to do and who he wanted to be in the future. someone should’ve told him to add social life into that mix.

though his parents were relatively chill and nowhere near the way his friends’ parents acted, they weren’t people he could talk to or be outwardly angry at. bobby had been taught and learnt how to suppress his emotions from an early age. he learnt to live by their rules and followed them. individual success in their culture wasn’t really a thing. everything one did, from future plans to everyday decisions revolved around family. it wasn’t something he could just disconnect from the way luke could leave his home or how alex learnt to tune his out. because if there was one thing he learnt from his ma is that even if you didn’t get along/are financially incapable, when your family needed help it was something you had to provide. “that’s filipino culture for you” his mother would explain whenever he asked.

bobby was the hardest one to come out to even if alex had known him well enough to know that he would still accept him. he told his mother that night, wanting to know how she felt and thought about alex coming out. it had been a big relief to know that his mother still loved alex, that she had no problems with it and ensured alex knew that.

“as long as their not my own” bobby listened to her stories about family members being disowned for being gay. he hadn’t thought much of it then when his ma told him that she’s happy that he wasn’t since he was her only son and all.

not until he was 16 when he realised he was paying too much attention to someone and had been teased about it by his friends. or when they talked late at night, camping in bobby’s backyard about their own sexualities. luke and reggie had confessed that they weren’t straight or gay and had no label for their sexualities but that it didn’t really matter. bobby on the other hand pretended to be fast asleep as he hid the way his hands trembled in fear.

bobby hadn’t told anyone that he had come out to his ma, or that she had burst into tears and held him close as he cried. or how he had thought it’d be okay when she said it would until her next words came out “we’ll pray to god and it’ll go away, okay anak? you’ll be okay.” since then she acted like he hadn’t come out to her. so he prayed and prayed and flirted and dated girls and pushed aside the growing affection/attraction towards reggie a certain someone.

bobby pushed those feelings aside as he learnt tagalog and more about their culture to impress his ma. or whenever he would accompany bobby to family gatherings as a reason to getaway and have fun. or whenever bobby’s little cousins would now refer to him as their kuya (older brother). bobby really tried not to fall even further but the moment he was dragged into a game of nanay tatay (clapping game in the philippines), and watched them try to singalong, he knew he was undoubtedly in love with him.

so bobby continued to pray, flirt and date to forget and brushed aside alex’s insistence that his ma would understand and accept him if he told her. bobby just didn’t have the courage to tell alex that his mother already knew and refused to acknowledge it.

ngl, don’t know where i was heading with this. i wanted bobby and alex being church buddies and somehow ended up here.

#long text post #jatp headcanons #filipino!bobby #bobby jatp #alex mercer #reggie peters #luke patterson #sunset curve #jjsmuddledideas #jatp #julie and the phantoms #angsty headcanons #headcanons #boggie

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fakeikemen · 4 years

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The Roku/Sozin ancestry plot twist for Zuko

Like I’m sure this has been said before but the twist about Zuko being a descendant of both Roku and Sozin is actually a disservice to his character and his narrative as well? The way the narrative frames this reveal along with Iroh's dialogue, it backtracks on a lot of the story we are shown in Book 1&2 (and sometimes it even clashes with some dialogues in Book 3).

Iroh: “Because understanding the struggle between your two great-grandfathers can help you better understand the battle within yourself. Evil and good are always at war inside you, Zuko. It is your nature, your legacy. But, there is a bright side. What happened generations ago can be resolved now, by you. Because of your legacy, you alone can cleanse the sins of our family and the Fire Nation. Born in you, along with all the strife, is the power to restore balance to the world.”

1. This implies that there are equal amounts of good and evil in Zuko and his internal struggle is about choosing one of them.

The core qualities of Zuko as a character are empathy, compassion and kindness. A person who always gets upset when he sees or even thinks about other people in pain, a person who spoke out against powerful people to save lives that were being sacrificed needlessly, a person who shows mercy to people who don’t deserve it, a person who is willing to reach out a hand to save the life of the man who tried to kill him, a person who avoids fights when possible, a person who is willing to fight on behalf of a family he has known for only one night, a person who reaches out to sympathise after being yelled at— a person like this is definitely not struggling with equal parts of good and evil within them.

Zuko does have two selves, but they can be categorised as pre-scar and post-scar.

His pre-scar version is the version who was unabashedly kind and compassionate, who spoke his mind without thinking of consequences. But his post-scar version was a cover up of the pre-scar version. It was a lie that Zuko lived everyday. He convinced himself that this was how he had to be; because this was what Ozai wanted him to be and that there was no other way.

And yet, when the situation is dire and he is depending on his instincts or when he is given a free choice, we see the pre-scar Zuko spring into action. Because that’s who he really is. It’s not a struggle between good and evil within him, it is his supressed self making an appearance when he slips up and fails to maintain his facade.

Perhaps the line that describes his internal struggle the best is this:

Zuko, imitating Iroh: Zuko, you have to look within yourself to save yourself from your other self. Only then will your true self, reveal itself.

And while this dialogue was played for laughs, it is the most accurate description of how Zuko had to reach for his suppressed self, his real self, to save himself from becoming what Ozai wanted him to be.

2. It also implies that Ozai and Ursa had equal influence on Zuko's upbringing and that he struggled to chose between what was taught to him by Ursa (good) and Ozai (evil).

The idea that Zuko has equal amounts of good and evil inside himself goes hand in hand with idea that the good and evil traits in him have been passed onto him by Ursa and Ozai's upbringings respectively which are legacies of Roku and Sozin.

I don’t need to look any further than “Zuko Alone” to know that Ozai's impact on Zuko's upbringing was slim to none. The flashbacks that we see, are dominated by Ursa's presence. Ozai hardly gets any time onscreen. And when he does, he is shown as a silhouette and when he isn’t a silhouette, we only see him smile at Azula's display of skills and frown at Zuko's attempt.

Ozai was Zuko's father alright, but never in the ways that mattered. We know that Ozai abused Zuko. He constantly belittled him and compared him to Azula. Partially because Zuko lacked the natural talent that Azula had and partially because he lacked the ruthlessness and cruelty that Azula displayed even at her age.

Which made Zuko copy Azula's behaviour to get his father’s acceptance. But whenever Ursa noticed this, she immediately corrected Zuko and clearly told him that it was wrong.

Ozai is never shown to tell Zuko that whatever Ursa told him was wrong. Ozai personally never taught him anything (except that one time). He appreciated Azula's behaviour and encouraged her to keep it up but he just kept on expressing his disappointment in Zuko.

Ursa: Remember this, Zuko. No matter how things may seem to change, never forget who you are.

Zuko's innate kindness and compassion were protected by Ursa in the formative years when he was at his most pliable. And this is why no matter what happens, he never loses these qualities and is able to retain his real self even after he tried hard to suppress it.

3. It diminishes the extent of psychological damage and trauma caused by the scarring incident.

The one time Ozai did take it upon himself to teach something to Zuko:

Ozai: You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.

(Notice that here too Ozai's form is silhouetted against the light behind him.)

The scar is so much more than just a scar to Zuko. It is the one lesson that Ozai taught him. The scar exists because of Zuko's innate compassion. It was put on his face in an attempt to burn out his compassion. It was put there to be a constant reminder of what would happen if he dared to do something that went against what Ozai wanted from him. The scar was Ozai’s brand on his face. It took away Zuko's autonomy to make decisions for himself. It was a constant reminder that Zuko’s opinions didn’t matter.

Post-scar Zuko is Zuko's attempt at supressing his real persona to become the person Ozai wanted him to be, because he learned the hard way that he didn’t have the choice to be anyone else.

In fact, the first time Zuko makes a deliberate choice to go against what was expected of him, (letting Appa go) he succumbed to a fever. His emotional turmoil of coming to terms with the fact that he didn’t need to listen to Ozai and abide by him; a notion that he had been force feeding himself, everyday, for the last three years, manifested itself physically in the form of a fever. That was how deep the psychological damage caused by the scar was. (I hate it when people call it an angst coma.)

Saying that Zuko was struggling with equal amounts of good and evil within him, oversimplifies the complex emotional trajectory he had about coming to terms with the abuse he went through and reclaiming his autonomy and his personal opinions and beliefs, into just a choice between two aspects of his personality.

Zuko: I wanted to speak out against this horrifying plan, but I'm ashamed to say I didn't. My whole life, I struggled to gain my father's love and acceptance, but once I had it, I realized I'd lost myself getting there. I'd forgotten who I was.

4. This implies that Zuko's destiny was pre-determined.

Iroh said in the dialogue that Zuko was born with the power to restore balance in the world and that only he could do it.

Zuko, the character who has always had to struggle to gain what he wanted is suddenly told of an advantage that he had just by the virtue of birth? Kinda defeats the purpose of: "Azula was born lucky; I was lucky to be born", if you ask me.

And even more importantly, he let go of the destiny that Ozai forced on him, only to take on another predetermined destiny; a destiny that was his to fulfil by the virtue of birth, and took steps to fulfil this other destiny, instead of making a destiny of his own and paving his own path to it by making the choices that he had been denied for so long because of Ozai. Which seems weird because all the other times Iroh talks to Zuko about this topic, he always emphasises on how it’s Zuko's choice to make his own destiny:

Lake Laogai:

Zuko: I want my destiny.

Iroh: What that means is up to you.

Lake Laogai:

Zuko: I know my own destiny, Uncle!

Iroh: Is it your own destiny, or is it a destiny someone else has tried to force on you?

Zuko: Stop it, Uncle! I have to do this!

Iroh: I'm begging you, Prince Zuko! It's time for you to look inward and begin asking yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want?

Crossroads of Destiny:

Iroh: Zuko, I am begging you. Look into your heart and see what it is that you truly want.

Western Air Temple:

Iroh: You know Prince Zuko, destiny is a funny thing. You never know how things are going to work out. But if you keep an open mind, and an open heart, I promise you will find your own destiny someday.

5. It indirectly implies that the good™ in Ursa and Zuko exists because they are a part of the Avatar's legacy.

Making Ursa a daughter of a nobleman (as intended originally)* would’ve served a much better purpose for the message that the episode was trying to get across: “the Fire Nation isn’t inherently evil”.

Katara: You mean, after all Roku and Sozin went through together, even after Roku showed him mercy, Sozin betrayed him like that?

Toph: It's like these people are born bad.

Aang: Roku was just as much Fire Nation as Sozin was, right? If anything, their story proves anyone's capable of great good and great evil. Everyone, even the Fire Lord and the Fire Nation have to be treated like they're worth giving a chance.

Had Ursa not been Roku’s descendant, then there would've been people other than just Roku and his descendants, who were Fire Nation and good™. (Iroh is literally the only exception.)

Moreover, Azula is just as much a part of “Roku’s legacy” as Zuko is, and yet is completely overlooked when it comes to it. She isn’t shown to be struggling with equal amounts of good and evil. She isn’t gifted at birth with the capacity to bring balance back to the world. It appears as if she had inherited only “Sozin's legacy”.

So, not only does this Roku/Sozin twist go against Zuko's fundamental characterisation, but it also partially deconstructs the narrative that had been carefully set up for him over the course of 2 seasons.

*(I have been looking relentlessly for the post where I saw two screen caps of the two different characterisations of Ursa: 1. Ursa as we see her in "Zuko Alone"; 2. Ursa as Roku's descendant. And I can't find it now otherwise I would've linked it.)

#i saw a vid on atla's official yt abt zuko #and the way his entire narrative was shown to be hinged on #being roku and sozin's descendant #it pissed me off; so here's the rant #zuko #zuko meta #prince zuko #atla zuko #atla #atla meta #ozai #lady ursa #azula #roku #sozin #avatar #avatar the last airbender #ira's posts

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