#in a place with gloomy weather so all i want to write is angst

[hollowdeath]

Oh hello, I just wanted to tell you that what you wrote is amazing! I read it over and over and couldn't stop reading. You are soooo amazing! *((Ugly crying😭❤️))*

And umm.. I would like to share about the imagination in my head about Dark Harry Potter. He joins the Lord Voldemort and betrayed all his friends. When the war ended, the Lord's side Voldemort wins. Everything is in chaos but Harry ignores it all because he only cares about the reader, his old girlfriend. (Harry still loves the reader even though the reader hates Harry.) He might have requested that the Lord Voldemort gave the reader as a reward to him after the war. Something like that, and ummm, a drama that is both bitter and sad and angry at the same time full of longing for each other? A rough and sad lovemaking? 🥺

hi! thank you so much for requesting! i hope you enjoy!

pairing: dark!harry james potter x fem!reader AU (18+)

summary: harry's all-consuming anger successfully tempts him to join voldemort in the war, sending you, his girlfriend, away in an attempt to keep you safe. years later he asks for your return, and is met with bitterness and rage as you struggle to navigate your feelings for each other in a post-war world.

c/w: smut!!! angst!! slow burn! mentions/threats of weapons, violence, abuse, and death/murder. smut is all the way at the end (grinding, oral, penetration, submissive!harry & dominant!reader) lightly edited, not book/movie/canon accurate

word count: 12.6k

a/n: this is giving me manacled x star wars and i love it lol, so so so much fun to write. i tried to make the reader more angst-y and dominant than normal, so if you like this please let me know! sorry if the plot doesn't make much sense. i also started school this week so please be patient with me! going to try and start posting shorter blurbs/headcanons between requests <3

harry was standing at a window in the lord's manor, watching the street below him as people sulked aimlessly by. it was a typical, gloomy day, the clouds gathering heavily above. it had been raining for weeks, maybe even months at this point, and it was beginning to cast a permanent gray shadow across the city. not even the weather could escape the tragedies of the war.

though harry chose to not dwell on the war, he felt its lingering effects. even from his lofty spot in the comfort of the lord's castle, which he barely left anymore. its walls had become harry's second skin. so long as he had everything delivered to him whenever he desired, it was disgusting to him to even think of stepping outside.

yet still, harry could see the abandoned and damaged shops just outside the lord's gates lining the courtyard along the cobblestone streets. the burnt remains of what once was. the sunken-in faces of the remaining people in the city. the lack of light, the lack of life, the lack of magic.

there's a part of harry, a weak cry from deep inside his repressed past, that feels bad. he was once a young wizard with bright eyes walking the streets of these same shops. he once enjoyed the sounds of shared happiness, and found solace in the fact that despite his lack of, there would always be joy in the world around him.

however, as harry grew older, and the circumstances around him shifted, he found himself getting angrier more often. not just on a weekly basis over small interactions or mistakes, but all the time, from the moment he was awoken by his nightmares to the moment he fell back into them. harry simply had no room inside of him left for anything else. it was just anger. pure, unbridled anger that only caused annoyance at first, then small outbursts of irritation after a while, and, eventually, he couldn't look at anyone or anything without wanting to physically destroy it for no reason other than he was just angry.

harry was angry at the world for having magic in it in the first place. he hated the divide it caused between muggles and non-muggles, pure bloods and half bloods. he was angry that divide is what took his parents from him before he could even properly know them. he was angry he had to grow up in abuse and neglect under the guise of 'safety'. he was angry he never received an apology, an admittance of guilt, not even a hint of closure for the past that was still controlling his present.

the boy who used to risk his life to save hogwarts and the students inside of it would eventually be the same one to let them fall.

when voldemort came back, and harry's anger was at its worst, he knew there was a connection. he didn't know about horcruxes yet and he certainly didn't know he was one. and yet he knew, somewhere deep inside him again, that it wasn't a coincidence. there was a reason his anger was consuming him, and the reason was voldemort.

after cedric's death, harry had begun to spiral. the nightmares were worse than before, he felt deathly paranoid constantly, and couldn't escape the intruding memories of the graveyard. though harry had managed well enough afterwards, still suppressing his rage, he couldn't hide the change in his personality from those closest to him. ron and hermione were the first to bring it up, but, of course, harry had snapped and told them to mind the business that pays them. despite his resistance, they tried until the very end to help their best friend see through his anger, to remember what was right and wrong.

however, once sirius was dead, it was all over.

harry had simply lost any hope that was left within him. watching sirius fall through the veil, his eyes lifeless and cold, was like watching harry himself die. he didn't think he could get any lower, and then he watched the only family he had left be cursed just within his reach.

harry was never the same after that. when he sat in bed late at night staring at the marauders map in his lap, he thought about how much he hated this life that's been made for him. the boy who lived, the scape goat, the hero, our only hope. it was crushing. harry was just a boy. he wanted to live a normal life.

but he knew he never could. not after tom riddle, not after cedric, not after sirius. even if everything went away tomorrow and harry could just attend his classes and be with his friends, nothing would change. he would still be alone, he would still be angry, and he would still suffer from his traumas. what was the point in fighting for good or living to see the end when you would always end up alone?

except, harry wasn't alone, really. he had you.

if there was one thing in this lifetime, one thing throughout this entire war that could have saved harry, it was you.

you and harry had been classmates for a year or so before really getting to know each other, and started dating not long after. when you were around, harry knew there was something worth fighting for. though he may feel angry and everything and everyone and everything everyone said, harry could never truly be mad with you. it's like when you looked at him the anger was muted, numb, deep inside him, and as soon as someone would interrupt it was bubbling at the surface again.

you were worried about harry, of course, and saw the effects his anger had on his relationships with everyone else around him. besides you.

he remembers you clearly, still to this day, and just how upset you were anytime he lashed out. if he'd felt anything other than anger at that time, it would've been guilt. guilt for hurting you, for scaring you. guilt, but not guilty enough to stop.

the anger was stronger.

even when you asked him, begged him, please, harry, please stop letting your anger win, and even when he promised, swore on his own grave, that he would try harder to stop for you, he never did.

harry was beyond angry. he was spiteful. all he had ever been was kind, a pushover who gave everyone the respect he was never graced with. he's saved strangers who wouldn't spit on him if he was on fire. he's lost his family in their sacrifice for the greater good that now rested upon harry's 16 year old shoulders.

he was beginning to think the fight wasn't worth it.

not only did the fight for good no longer seem worthy to harry, the fight against it only seemed to become more enticing. why should harry continue to risk his life and sanity when there would always be fights of blood purity? why should he be the hero everyone else has always wanted him to be?

for a long time, the answer was you. you were reason enough for harry to keep fighting, to keep his anger under control. when he looked at you things made sense for just a moment, his suffering was worth it to see you alive and well. until it wasn't.

everyone has a breaking point, and harry felt like he had finally reached his. as the war had geared up to a point of no return, harry had to make a decision. he had always assumed his decision was already made for him since birth, but he soon realized he never actually had to follow this path set for him in the first place. he was free to do as he pleased. he wasn't dumbledore, he wasn't his parents, he wasn't even the hero everyone thought he was. he was angry. he was spiteful.

worse than that, harry was vengeful.

so, when he met voldemort in the woods during the battle of hogwarts to accept his death, harry instead offered him a proposal the dark lord simply couldn't refuse. harry potter, his living horcrux, would become his successor upon his death. harry would fight with and for voldemort, training to become the most powerful dark wizard in history, and to finally let tom riddle rest well knowing the world was in just as dark, evil hands as his own.

though voldemort was skeptical at first, naturally, as harry expected him to be, he could eventually see the darkness within harry nearly consuming him whole. he was as serious as death itself. he no longer had the desire within him to continue fighting for, what he saw as, a lost cause. voldemort was rather pleased with this news, though never expected harry to come around like he did. he hadn't even considered it, really. but who was he to deny his own successor?

upon harry's return to hogwarts with voldemort and his death eaters in tow, every single person who watched was stunned into silence. even mcgonagall, who had been instructing and encouraging the students all night in their fight, had become speechless and teary eyed at the sight. ron had to catch hermione, who nearly fell to the floor.

but nobody was as upset as you were.

you had already been sobbing watching harry walk off into the woods towards his own death thinking you would never see him alive again. only to watch him emerge from the same treeline with the enemy by his side. it's like you got kicked in the gut. you would've almost rather never seen harry again.

"harry!" you had screamed in a broken voice as he crossed the bridge, voldemort's snake slithering at his feet. you were running to him, breaking through the multiple arms that tried to hold you back.

voldemort tried to raise his wand to you, but harry had stopped him, telling him to let him handle it. he was suspicious at first, still not fully trusting harry's intentions just yet, but was reassured by the sinister look in his eyes.

harry looked at you. he remembers feeling a twinge of that same guilt from before, the tiniest spark of hope deep within his rage. he really did love you, at least at some point he did. you would've made all of this worth it, you would've been the reason to keep going. but not even you were reason enough anymore. for so long he had been ready to take his revenge on the world that failed him.

"harry, what are you doing?" you had asked him, voice shaking. you were almost whispering, your eyes nervously glancing towards voldemort every other second in fear for your safety. harry grabbed your hands but you pulled them back, a look of disgust coming across your face.

"come with me." harry had told you. your look of disgusted transformed into shock, anger, confusion, and guilt. there were mumblings coming from the crowd of students behind you. "what?" you had asked, nearly breathless at this point, your eyes searching him for answers.

"come with me, [y/n]. i want you by my side as i become the most powerful dark lord in the world." harry explained, taking steps towards you with an excited grin on his face, his eyes still dark with corruption. you were still in shock when he grabbed for your hands. he kissed your knuckles softly with a quiet, "i love you,"

he had meant it, but not like he used to.

it took a few moments of silence and some tense eye contact before you pulled your hands away, letting the tears fall again as you attempted to gather your words. "you can't do this, harry. i will never join the dark lord. you know this isn't right, why are you doing this? why? why?" you're practically begging for an answer as harry looked away, an irritated expression on his face, clenching his jaw together. your hands reached for his shirt and jacket, trying to shake some sense into him as you grasped them tightly and pulled him closer.

"don't you love me?" you had asked him in the most heartbreaking, soul crushing voice. your words were weak, but your sentiment was palpable. you were bloody, dirty, covered in scars from fighting, holding harry close to you as you begged him with wide eyes. not too much earlier in the year he would've folded immediately looking at you, so innocent and desperate, his last bit of hope in the world.

but it was already far too late.

"take her to azkaban," harry had announced, angling his head back to the deatheaters behind him, keeping his eyes locked with yours. your grip on his clothes loosened and shocked gasps came from the crowd. harry looked at voldemort, who was a bit puzzled by the situation, but backed up harry's real nonetheless. "you heard the boy," he snapped towards the men behind him.

the deatheaters walked towards you as you stepped away from harry. "no, no, no, stop!" you were screaming, trying to back away from them, but they had grabbed your arms aggressively and began dragging you towards the bridge. "[y/n]!" a few students had shouted, running towards you before their attempts were blocked by a wave of voldemort's wand. the students fell to the ground, watching helplessly as you continued to fight your way out of the deatheaters' grasps. harry stood still, emotionless, completely stoic as he heard your desperate wails and calls for his name disappear into the woods behind him.

the rest of that night or day or whatever it was has since been completely blocked out of harry's mind, forever. his rage had reached a level he didn't know was possible. all he could recall anymore is the blood, the screaming, the running, and the light of his wand in his hand. many students and professors died during that battle at his hand, along with voldemort's and the deatheaters'. the castle was then burned to the ground, signifying the end of the battle. hogwarts had never stood a chance.

and, now, harry stands in the dark lord's manor, staring at the abandoned buildings lining his street, and he's thinking of you.

he often wondered how life would have been if you had joined him that day. though his years since have been packed with death, fights, destruction, and chaos, there were moments alone or in peril where you crossed his mind like a gentle breeze. a simpler part of his past, a light in his darkness. your soft, kind eyes, wide with shock as you back away from him, fixated on the deatheaters coming to collect you. your sweet, melodic voice screaming and breaking as you were dragged away, fighting for your freedom. harry could remember the moment perfectly despite everything else in his life being a blur.

he wonders how you would have filled the role as his partner in crime after choosing him. two dark lords unstoppable against the forces of the wizarding world, fighting 'good' and spreading evil just as he had been this whole time. would you have succumbed easily to the temptation? would you be as dark as harry was? could you maybe even be darker?

but harry knew it was a fruitless endeavor from the beginning. he had wanted to ask you anyways, to at least give you a chance to make the decision to be with him, even if he already knew what your response would be. harry was a bit let down at first, hoping maybe there was enough love between you to push morals aside, but he knew he would never be that lucky. part of why he fell in love with you way before his anger began was your commitment and dedication to what you believed was right. that same trait would be the driving force behind his decision to lock you away.

harry knew you. and he knew you wouldn't stop fighting until your body gave out, and maybe even after that. he may have lost you by sending you to azkaban for the foreseeable future of the war, but he'd rather know you were safe somewhere solitary than spend his years wondering where your dead body had been rotting into the dirt all this time. though azkaban was desolate, dark, isolated, and torturous, it allowed harry to sleep at night thinking of your still-beating heart resting safely behind those impenetrable walls.

lately his nights had become more restless, though, as the thought of you still residing in azkaban began to sit with him. he didn't feel guilt, really, he knew it was what was ultimately best for you. but he did miss you.

after the war had died down and voldemort took his place as the rightful dark lord of the world, harry's anger began to subside for the first time in years. rather than rage fueling his insatiable desire to destroy, he felt incredibly numb and disengaged with everything around him. the desolate streets and grim sky and abandoned city outside the windows began to fit his mental state more and more. for the first time since he was a teenager, harry could see past the anger.

and all he wanted was you.

so, harry had reached out to the dark lord, who spent most of his time at his new ministry castle across the country from the old manor he let harry watch over. they communicated every so often, checking in on business and social matters, but otherwise never had to meet in person. 

harry sent him a letter asking for your release and direct delivery to his household, barring from reason. he felt after the war he had lead with and for voldemort, he owed harry a singular favor all these years later.

it only took 2 days for a confirmation letter to be sent back to harry, signed by voldemort himself, dating your arrival for the next day.

harry had his house elf, jinx, make up your room, asking her to be sure it was comfortable and clean before your delivery tomorrow afternoon, and to also provide plenty of options for dinner.

harry spent all night thinking about you, wondering what you'd look like after all this time. how similar or different you would be from what he remembers. how you'd react to seeing him. he knew you well enough to know you wouldn't react well, likely needing an extended period of alone time to adjust being here before he'd ever get a civil moment with you. but he was up for the challenge, otherwise he'd never ask for your return in the first place. he was releasing his anger, and instead building his patience, if not just to hold you one more time.

there was a delicious smell filling the mansion as the clock drew nearer to your arrival. harry was dressed better than he had been in years, and had jinx make the usually desolate looking building feel warm and inviting. fireplaces roaring, warm lamps flooding the hallways, and the grand dining table set to perfection for 2 particular guests.

harry didn't want to make it too obvious, but it was hard for him to hide how excited he was to see you again. even if you were different, even if you hated him, all he wanted was to see you in person, his eyes locking with yours for the first time since the day you were dragged away at his command.

once the hour was upon him, harry could hear footsteps and voices on the second floor. his heart leaped, setting down his glass of wine before heading for the stairs.

"let go of me, let go of me," a strained voice was crying down the hall, the sounds of a struggle coming from harry's left. he saw two house elves, rather squat and bulky, holding onto the arms of a frail body covered in a simple striped prison dress.

one elf turned to harry and gave him a devilish grin, "ah, there's the man himself!" he growled, his partner turning as well. "sorry we were late, mr. potter, someone here wasn't too keen on leaving azkaban, for some reason," he apologizes, pulling at the arm he's holding.

you slowly turn your head and stop struggling, your eyes wide with fear and mouth dropped open. "harry?" you whispered to yourself, your knees nearly giving out beneath you before the elves aggressively pulled you back up.

the first elf groans, rolling his eyes at you. "where can we put her, huh?" he asks, his tone impatient. harry pulls a few gold coins out of his pocket and hands them over to both of the elves. "right here is just fine. thank you, boys," he tells them.

the elves happily accept the tips and drop you to the ground, quickly disappearing in a flash.

you're left heavily breathing on the floor of the hall, sniffling and groaning in pain before diverting your attention to harry. your eyes were still wide, your eyebrows creased in confusion as you tried to move yourself further away from him on your hands and knees.

harry gave you your space, but watched intently as you nervously increased the distance between both of you. your hair was long, tangled, greasy, and falling around you like a curtain. you were smaller than he remembered, your eyes sunken in and cheeks more hollowed than before. you were pale, and visibly dirty. the soles of your feet were nearly black.

harry felt a pain in his stomach, his blood pressure rising imagining how you lived inside the walls of the prison. he couldn't identify the feeling. it was different from anger, but it wasn't far off.

as you continued to back up, your eyes shifted to a widow on your right. you slowly gained the energy to lift yourself and reach for the window, throwing it open before attempting to stick your hand out.

your hand hit the open window like you had never moved the glass barrier. you continued trying to stick your hand and head out, hitting at the invisible barrier with all your strength, making frustrated sounds.

"there's a spell on the house, love. you can't leave, just for now, until we can work things out," harry tried to explain gently as you continued trying to escape. he took a step towards you and you stepped away, leaning on the wall for support as you began to cry harder.

"get away from me, get away, what the fuck, what the fuck is happening," you tried to shout at him, your faced turned away and other arm putting distance between you and harry. you were gasping for air, your voice stressed and broken, shaking your head as you tried to continue backing up into the wall.

harry still attempted to give you your space. he hated to see you like this. you were so defensive and scared of everything going on around you. he wanted to give you time to calm down, but felt you needed to know what was going on.

"[y/n]," harry said, causing your head to snap towards him with curious eyes. your arm lowered slightly, your knees still weak beneath you. "listen to me, okay? just for a second," harry tried to ask kindly. he hadn't realized just how long it had been since he talked to someone this gently.

you continued to stand defensively, your eyes scanning harry up and down nervously as your breathing slowly started to still.

harry sighed, taking a moment to collect his thoughts before turning his attention to you again. "i know this is a lot, and i know it's confusing," he starts, his voice unexpectedly shaky. "but i asked voldemort, and i had you released from azkaban. i figured you may like a warm place to stay, so i had you brought here,"

you still looked confused for a moment before you narrowed your eyes, your arm coming up once again to defend yourself. "what are you talking about? where are we?" you asked harry suspiciously, still scanning him from head to toe.

"my manor. well, the lord's manor, but, essentially mine," harry says a bit awkwardly. you gave him a look of disgust, leaning further into the wall for support. "why would i want to be here? with you?" you practically spat at him with hatred in your eyes. harry was unaffected.

"i know you don't. but there's nowhere else to go. i promise." harry tells you solemnly. your eyes widen a bit again, a flash of fear coming across your face, but the anger quickly returns.

"i'd rather live in rubble than prop my feet up in the dark lord's manor," you say sharply, taking a step towards him in attempt to intimidate him. though you weren't much shorter than harry, you were weak, and tired, and he wasn't necessarily afraid of your threats.

he took a step back anyways, giving you more space. "look," he says, his eyes turning to the floor before he can steady his breathing and reply. "it's just for now. if you really don't want to stay, i won't make you." he says softly before returning his eyes to yours. they're not as bright as he remembers them in his dreams about you.

"but," he says, causing your jaw to clench. "you will stay until you're well again. and it's not up for debate." harry tells you firmly, his tone not as gentle as before.

you swallow harshly, your stomach growling audibly as the smell of the food downstairs begins to settle into your senses.

harry notices this and smirks to himself before quickly returning to a neutral state. "now," he announces, straightening out his blazer. "until the food is ready, there's a room made up for you just down this hall and to your left. it has a bathroom, and clothes. take all the time you need." he says before promptly turning on his heels and heading downstairs, his heart still racing from his encounter with you.

sitting in the living room watching the fireplace in front of him, harry eventually hears the door of your new bedroom click open and swiftly close. not long after he can hear the plumbing rumble as you take your first shower. he smiles at the fact that you're finally in his life once more, even if the circumstances were completely unusual.

harry's nearly concerned and wanting to send jinx to check on you after 2 hours of running water before it stops, the sound of the bathroom fan taking its place. harry's relieved.

"jinx, could tell our guest the foods ready," harry tells the elf as she brings the last tray from the kitchen to the dining room. she nods to herself, shuffling up the stairs sluggishly.

harry's pouring another glass of wine in the kitchen and decides to pour you one as well. on his way into the dining room, he sees you standing in the entryway. you're dressed in a large jumper, oversized pajamas bottoms, and your hair is still rather wet plopped into a bun on top of your head. your skin is rubbed raw, your cheeks still flushed pink as you analyze the table full of food in front of you.

harry smiles at your shocked gaze, your stomach growling again as he tries to hand you your glass of wine. you turn your nose at him, taking a step back. he smiles curtly and heads to his seat, setting your glass with his.

"figured you might be hungry," harry says as he sits down, his plate made for him already. he looks at you, arms still crossed, nose turned away, but eyes peeking at the endless food at your disposal. he can tell you're trying to keep your guard up, but your stomach hasn't stopped rumbling since you came downstairs.

he gestures to your chair just across from him, a plate made for you as well. you look at him, your eyes curious but expression still tight. you carefully take a step closer to the table, but you're still weary.

harry gives you a sympathetic smile. "after tonight you can have any meal you want in your solitude. i just thought i'd be nice and host my guest for the first night," he tells you, catching your gaze.

your curious look quickly turns to one of anger. "i'm not your guest. i'm practically a prisoner again." you hiss, your eyes boring into his with contempt. harry can sense the rage building inside of you. he's familiar with the feeling.

though you were different in so many ways, your dull eyes and lifeless voice, you were also similar in your determined attitude. you had always been the type to stand up and take charge, which harry completely admired and was impressed by. he found your beauty to be most potent in your strong will and cunning mind.

he admired you for just a moment, looking down at him with enough hatred to send shivers over his body. you looked so young, your skin supple and smooth under the light of the candles and fireplace, your hair falling loosely to frame your furrowed brow. you were just as pretty as he remembered, even if your expression always contained a hint of sadness and fear around him.

harry simply smiles softly, sitting back in his chair. "i prefer guest," he says teasingly. you suddenly snap at him, grabbing for his steak knife and pushing your arm to his neck against the back of the chair, holding the point of the knife to the side of his neck.

if looks could kill, the knife would've been unnecessary. your eyes were nearly black as you shakily push against harry's throat. "let me out of here now or i swear, harry," your voice cracks saying his name. "i swear i'll fucking kill you," you spit, leaning further into your grasp him on, your jaw clenched tightly.

harry, to your surprise, just chuckles to himself, not even struggling to breathe as he looks up at you deviously. your eyes widen just before you feel your arms start to move for you, as well as your legs. your neck is strained as well, an invisible force pushing you away from harry as the knife drops from your hand.

you're suddenly released from the mysterious grasp, and you choke out a breath, looking back at harry. he's smirking, but trying not to let you see as his pointed hand lowers from you. he fixes his shirt and chair, gesturing again to your seat across from him. "as thrilling as that was, love, not yet. i'd like you to stay here for at least a month before i consider placing you elsewhere." harry states, picking his knife back up to place on the table.

you stare at harry incredulously. "a month?" you ask, your face turning red again. you take another step towards him but you falter in fear of him using the same force as before to stop you. you stumble as your mind races to gather your thoughts. "how…you…i'm not staying here for a month! this is insanity! how could you send me away like that and just bring me back like it was nothing? a shower and a plate of food and suddenly those 5 years in azkaban never happened?"

you're now shouting at harry with a broken voice, your emotions on high as the tears threaten to fall again. harry watches you, just watches, and simply gestures to your chair again. "just join me," he insists.

you go to yell again, but harry sternly interrupts. "we can discuss this another time. please. sit down." he commands from you.

your mask drops for a moment, a look of fear crossing your face before diverting your eyes away completely to your chair. your stomach growls again, your hand covering it to hide the sound.

it takes a few moments until you slowly make your way to sit down, glancing at harry before taking your seat. harry begins eating silently, and, not long after, you're digging into your first real plate of food in years.

harry can't help but smile to himself subtly watching you indulge yourself for a moment, the mask slipping again as you gratefully shovel spoonfuls of food into your mouth with a sigh of relief. he was glad you were eating, even if he had to put up a bit of a fight to convince you.

as harry finishes up, you're still making your way through your second plate. he stands, grabbing your attention and making you curl back into your seat. "jinx," he calls out before sipping the last of his wine. jinx comes to the table and grabs harry's glass and plate, turning to take them to the kitchen. 

"[y/n], this is jinx," harry motions to the elf, who gives you a warm smile. you return the smile, but it doesn't reach your eyes. "if you ever need anything, anything at all, don't be afraid to ask her. she lives to serve," harry tells you proudly, earning a slight look of disgust from you before returning a smile at jinx.

"this was a lovely dinner, ms. jinx, thank you so much, truly," you thank her honestly. she bows to you slightly before continuing her way through the doors to the kitchen.

you shoot harry a glare. "the harry i knew would've never kept a house elf," you say, your words dripping with disdain. harry ignores your statement, turning to the stairs before ascending them.

he leaves you alone at the dining table, closing himself off in the master bedroom for the night. just as he's finishing up brushing his teeth, he hears your door click shut. that night he fell asleep feeling more reassured than he had in years knowing the pretty girl he couldn't keep his mind off of was asleep just down the hall from him.

it had been a few weeks since harry moved you in, and he rarely ended up seeing you in the mansion. you were often locked away in your room, or taking showers, and harry only ever saw you when you were finishing up a meal with jinx.

you had become quite close with her, it seems, which harry found sweet. he was worried at first that you may be using jinx as a way to find an escape from the house, but after a while without incident, harry realized how silly the idea was. you truly could connect with anyone.

one of the only other times he saw you, though, was when he passed by the open library one night. harry had been restless, thinking about his past in depth, feeling emotions he couldn't place, and decided to watch the sunrise to clear his head. he took a quick glance through the doors before spotting you curled up on one of the couches, a book in hand, fast asleep beside a warm lamp.

harry stopped, taking a moment to admire you from afar. you had gained some weight back being here, which harry loved to see. your cheeks were full and rounded, your hands not as frail, and the color was coming back to your skin. your hair looked impossibly soft under the light, sprawled everywhere around your angelic, sleeping face. harry couldn't help the cheesy smile that overcame his face. he was just happy that you were okay.

outside of that, harry spent most of his time alone, thinking about you. you hadn't reached out to him yet, which he expected, but was surprised when a month came and went and you still didn't confront him. he hadn't made his decision just yet, so he didn't have an answer for you even if you had asked him. he saw you were doing better, but still wasn't confident in letting you go. not just for selfish reasons, of course, but he wanted to be sure you were equipped enough to live on your own.

but, harry had to admit, his heart raced when he heard your soft footsteps pass his door to the stairs. his mind went blank seeing your figure standing in the dining room with jinx, chatting over a plate of snacks together. his blood ran cold when he heard your soft giggle from somewhere in the mansion. like a beautiful ghost haunting his past.

harry knew even before he sent his letter to voldemort that his feelings for you had never truly gone away. deep under his rage, his unforgiving heart, his cold blooded nature, his love for you had always remained. but he was learning to accept your departure if you chose to do so. a final goodbye to the most beautiful part of his unsightly life. harry wasn't sure he could handle the idea.

he was struggling with his thoughts, the constant back and forth he was feeling about you. at first harry was sleeping better with you there knowing you were safe, but now he stayed up late worrying himself sick over the decisions he had to make now that you were actually there.

sitting in bed, staring at the rising sun through his window, harry's mind was exhausting him. he hadn't slept all night and could feel the effects setting in. slowly, he stood from the bed and slipped on his house shoes along with his robe. he quietly leaves his room to not disturb you so early just down the hall.

he walks to the opposite end of the hall towards the balcony, and takes his usual seat facing the sunrise.

harry contemplates here most mornings, but never comes to any radical conclusions. he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know what's best for you anymore. he knows he selfishly wants you all to himself still, but also knows you deserve to live the life you want no matter what his opinion is. it's the same conversation with himself every time, and it leaves him confused and upset for keeping you here like he is. even if his heart is in the right place.

his thoughts are interrupted by jinx, who offers harry a cup of tea. he thanks her, but quickly calls her back to ask a question. "jinx, um…[y/n], how is she doing?" he asks.

jinx, a quiet house elf, gives harry a smile, and pats his shoulder. her smile is warm and reassuring, as well as her hand. as she walks off, harry smiles to himself a bit. he's not completely satisfied with the answer, but he takes what he can get.

finishing his cup of tea with the sun shining over the horizon, harry turns to head inside before being met with the sight of you standing at the open doorway of the balcony. 

you're dressed in a simple long sleeve pajama shirt along with comfortable pants, your arms crossed as the morning chill sets into the air. harry's a bit startled at first, but gives you a polite smile, diverting his eyes and walking around you to leave you be.

"harry," you said softly, turning to him.

harry's heart dropped, but turned to you promptly with eager eyes. the way you said his name, your soft voice, he was already so captivated by you.

"can we talk?"

now harry was worried. this is what he's been afraid of since you got here. he's not ready to answer you. he doesn't know what he's going to say when you desperately ask him to leave and never come back.

"of course," he says calmly, gesturing to the balcony so you could sit together.

once you've joined him in watching the sun, you two fall into a somewhat comfortable silence as the soft wind whistles past.

"i never thanked you," you said quietly after a while, almost a whisper in the wind. harry looked at you, looking at the sunrise. your face was radiant. you were brilliant in the light of the sun, your hair still impossibly soft and beautiful, falling around you, following the flow of the air. harry was overwhelmed with the beauty your presence held in this moment. "you never had to."

you glanced at harry, studying his expression, before turning back to the sun. "it's also been a month." you state coldly. harry's gaze drops, sighing. "57 days, technically," he mumbles.

a few moments of silence pass again, leaving harry an anxious mess in his seat. he tried to think of a gentle way to let you know he still needed time to decide what to do. a way to tell you without putting his life at risk to your anger.

"well, as much as i hate to say this, you were right," you say, still watching the sunrise in deep thought. harry was shocked by your words, immediately sitting up in his seat to get a better look at your face.

you were stoic, your eyes fixated on the scene out beyond your reach. "what?" harry asked, not believing his own ears. a small smile crept to your lips, the first one he's managed to see himself since you've been here. his heart aches at just the hint of seeing it again.

"don't make me say it again, potter," you try to say threateningly with that small smile, your eyes falling to your lap.

harry is stunned into silence, watching you with careful eyes. "but, you were right. i needed time to be healthy again." you said to him, your back still turned. harry stayed quiet, allowing you to continue. "i was angry with you. i still am. i don't think it'll ever stop," you inform him, the coldness returning to your voice. "but," he was preparing himself for the rejection, the questions, the begging.

"i'd like to stay, if you'll have me," you offer in a slightly embarrassed tone, your face turned the other way.

to say harry was shocked at your request is an understatement. he was expecting you to have a plan to take him out if he had rejected your request to leave yet. he never considered the idea that you might actually want to stay with him.

"i'll have you forever, if you let me," harry responds, a small smile on his face as well. you shoot him a warning look. "not forever. just until i feel well again." you tell him, your voice cold once more. you turn back to the sun, now completely over the horizon. "figured you owe me that much," you say in an accusatory voice.

harry just smirks to himself. you could never be soft for long when he was around. but he appreciated that you felt you could ask him to stay, though you never had to in the first place. harry really would have had you forever, if you'd let him.

"stay as long as you need to." he says.

you glance back at him again, your eyes softer this time. you're analyzing him for a moment before turning to him a bit. "it took me a long time to understand why you sent me to azkaban," you tell him, your voice steady and emotionless. harry just watches you, admiring the light surrounding you.

"you would've never stood a chance in destroying the world had i been free," you state, your eyes still examining him. harry offers you another small smile, but it doesn't reach his eyes the same way. "you knew you were weak," you say.

harry's now analyzing your expression, your words swimming around in his mind. "i did," he admitted to you. "it was just easier if i knew where you were all this time," he says breathlessly.

your eyes narrow at him once more, the anger returning to your body language. "easier for you. i would've never done the same if the roles were reversed." you snapped at him harshly. harry believed you. he thought about it a lot in his nightly battles with his own mind.

"you're right," harry stated, still admiring you in your anger. you were upset, but gave harry a questioning look. your eyes softened only a bit. "i think about it all the time," he admits to you gently.

you're a bit puzzled by his admittance of guilt, but don't let it stop you. "i hope it haunts you at night the way it haunts me," you say sharply, your eyes dark.

"always has," harry says to himself, only making you more angry. "you poor thing. must've been so tough relaxing in this mansion knowing i was rotting away in solitary confinement." your voice is strong, powerful, a contrast to the broken words you gave harry your first day here.

"it was," harry says simply, sensing your rising impatience with him. you stood from your seat, towering over him as he continued watching you in wonder. "you evil little rat. you're just lucky my magic is restricted by this spell. i would've killed you in your sleep that first night." you threaten him, gesturing to the protection spell around the castle and balcony.

harry wants to stop himself, but can't keep the smirk off his face. this only angers you more, pulling your arm back and slapping harry square across his face.

he doesn't react, instead allowing himself to stay facing away from you. "i hate you," you state weakly, your hands balled at your side. harry looks at you, the smirk still playing on his lips. "i know," he says softly.

you frustratedly sit back down, turning to look back at the sunrise once more.

a long silence settles over you two, listening to the sounds of the city as it awakens around you. eventually, you stand, turning to leave harry alone on the balcony. you pause before you leave.

"i still never thanked you, harry." you speak softly, your back turned to him. he looks over at you, your curves glowing in the morning light. "you never had to," he replies, and you're off down the dark hallway.

for the next few months, you and harry live together amicably. he sees you around more often as you start to leave the confines of your room. of course the library was a place of solace for you, but he started to see you more in the living room, on the balcony, or in the dining room enjoying jinx's company. for a while you two exchanged polite greetings, simple glances and acknowledgements, before asking about each other's days, or commenting on the weather. it was agonizingly slow for harry, but he was breaking through your walls one way or another.

one day not long after you'd slapped him on the balcony, you sat in the living room with harry, across from his seat on the couch. he was surprised by your presence, but gave you a small smile over his book anyway. "jinx tells me you've been acting different," you'd stated bluntly, watching his face for a reaction.

harry put down the book he was reading, giving you his attention. "have i?" he asks. you were always examining him, your eyes critical but curious at the same time. "she says your anger used to be terrible. even worse than i remember." you lead him on.

harry bit his lip thinking about the years where his rage was at its worst. he tried not to dwell on them, and instead tried to focus on the newfound emotions consuming his life. but he couldn't deny the path of destruction he'd left while seeing red.

harry eventually nodded, his eyes distant. "it was," he admits, his voice just as lost in thought. you shifted in your seat. "you let it ruin everything, harry." you said softly, leaving him looking at the floor in disappointment. "i know," he admitted.

the silence between you was palpable. harry felt the weight of it on his shoulders before you spoke again. "i would hear about the things you did while in azkaban. the guard would tell me even after i asked him to stop." you inform him. harry can still feel your eyes shooting daggers at him.

"for so long i fantasized about being the one to kill you, to finally put an end to voldemort." you said wistfully. harry glanced at you, seeing a longing look on your face. "how brave of [y/n] to put her love aside to kill the dark lord's apprentice." you said in a mocking tone, leaning back in your seat.

harry watched you, imagining you in azkaban, dreaming of putting an end to his life, while he dreamed of freeing you. it was a fair trade, he thought, and not one he would argue against at this point. and it didn't go unnoticed that you mentioned your love for him, either.

"you still can," harry says, causing you to snap your eyes back at him. "excuse me?" you ask with a sneer. harry puts his book to the side and sits up, his feet planted on the ground. "kill me, that is. it's not impossible." he tells you with intrigue.

you're staring at him incredulously, your eyes always searching him. "you're…you're kidding, right? i mean, you took my magic while yours seems to be highly skilled. you really think i'd stand a chance?" you ask with a sarcastic laugh.

harry stands from his seat, taking achingly slow steps around the coffee table towards you. "yes, while your magic is weak, you are not, [y/n]. i've gone out of my way to keep the knives, fire pokers, swords, and hundreds of books on potions and charms out for your use, at any time, have i not?" harry questions you, getting closer now. though you would normally pull back from him, you stay seated, trying to process his words.

standing just before you, harry admires the curves of your face against the light of the fire. "with your nimble step and cunning wit," harry lifts his hand to gently put his fingers to your chin. the first physical contact he's had with you. unless you count the time you held that knife to his throat. "you could gut me like a pig before i even have the chance to squeal," harry's voice is soft but dark, your breathing caught in your throat at the contact.

as he backed away, harry could see the physical effect he had on you. your nervous blinking, your jaw tightening, hands trembling; he found it sweet he could still do that to you, even if you claimed to hate him.

after that day, harry felt less tension between you two. maybe being vulnerable around you made you realize he was never a threat to begin with. he didn't want anything from you, and he didn't care if you never wanted anything from him. as long as you were safe, that was all he cared about. he hoped you were starting to understand that.

though conversations between you were still tense and cryptic, there was a sense of unspoken comradery that felt nostalgic to you both. your serious, brooding angst matched with harry's calm, collected coldness made for an interesting match. it was never the same as before, you were both fairly aware it wasn't ever going to be, but there was an undoubted chemistry that still lingered from your teenage years together.

however, something else that always lingered during your interactions is your distaste for harry's actions. at any chance you can, you poke and prod at his past, partly to understand, he assumes, but also to test his limits. you were always cautious and suspicious of his submissive behavior when it came to this kind of confrontation; how could someone who was, at least at one point, so evil, so cruel and heartless, become so nonchalant about their past? who wipes out entire cities just to 'not dwell on it'?

this was always a point of contention between you, even if everything else until that point had been somewhat playful. it never so much upset harry as it riled you up, bringing strong emotions to the forefront, causing you to lash out at him. though he always stayed calm, he also always seemed to listen. he never disagreed with your feelings or sentiments, if anything he agreed with your hatred for himself. it's like that day in the living room when he tempted you with his death, and yet you never took the bait.

harry rather enjoyed watching you work yourself up, and admired how quick you were to defend yourself. he never wanted to upset you, of course, but sometimes he couldn't help his cheeky responses knowing it would get a look out of you that made his heart jump. it might not be the most gentlemanly thing he does, but something about your anger excited him. it was nothing like his vengeful rage from the past, but it had its own potency that ran a chill down his spine. harry was so used to everyone cowering away from him in fear of his power that he relished your open aggression towards him. it was thrilling, and it was exactly what he needed.

harry tried to remain respectful of his guest, but having such a beautiful mind and body occupy his space with him was hard to ignore sometimes. his eyes would wander, as well as his thoughts, and he had caught himself fantasizing about you a few too many times to admit. you were stunning, of course, you always had been, but there was something about you now that elevated your beauty in harry's eyes. maybe it was the dark, unforgiving coldness of your eyes, or the strong scowl that your expression rested in, or the underlying anger that was ready to bubble over at any point, but harry was completely infatuated with who you had become.

he knew how hypocritical it was for him to admire the parts of you that were forced out in your desperation to survive the decision he made for you all those years ago. though you seldom mentioned your years in azkaban, harry could see and feel the effects it continued to have on you. they weighed on him heavily, and though harry wasn't one to regret what's happened in the past, he wished he could've figured out another way to protect you at the time. a way that didn't dim the light inside of you the way that it has been.

but still, that light was there. when you smiled to yourself at your own quips, when you admired the food jinx prepares you, when you lost yourself in your books, harry could physically feel the light radiating within you. it was familiar, like an old hug from a friend, and was unmistakably beautiful.

sometimes he felt like a teenager again, discovering the parts of you that made him fall in love in the first place. your natural charm, your captivating eyes, the innate draw he felt to you simply by being in your presence. it was unlike anything he's felt for another person, before or since meeting you. but rather than two teenagers flirting over study dates, you were now two closed off adults with a complicated history and 'break up', if you could even call it that. it was nothing like the past, yet it was entirely too similar.

you and harry had been sitting in silence together in the living room, reading your respective books, enjoying each other's company. it was one of harry's favorite things to do with you now, and one of the only ways you two could be together without it ending in tension. neither of you talked, neither of you made noise outside of the occasional chuckle or gasp at your readings; it was a peaceful excuse for harry to be near you, and sometimes admire you from over the pages.

this night, however, you broke the traditional silence by asking harry a question you'd been keeping to yourself. "harry," you started. he loved the sound of his name in your voice, it was invigorating to listen to.

harry turned his head to you, his book still in his lap, noticing you've long since placed yours on the table beside you. "[y/n]," he responded with his typical smirk, returning his eyes to his book.

you cleared your throat a bit, your ankles crossing in front of you. "how often did you think of me," it was more of a statement than a question, your tone not as cold and questioning as it typically was.

harry knew what you meant, of course, and waited a moment before answering you. "i'd never stopped," he said simply. it was true, and it still is.

you turned to look at the fireplace, your knees bouncing out of the corner of harry's eye as he pretends to continue reading. "but you never came back for me," you stated. harry's eyebrows furrowed, glancing at you again before looking away to leave you with your words. "you left me there to die," you said, that familiar coldness returning to your tone.

harry let out a sharp breath. "that was never my intention, and you know that." he says without a reaction. you become visibly irritated, your jaw clenching with your fists. "you never thought about me," you insisted, your words heavy with contempt.

harry shut his book and threw it beside him, leaning towards you. you turned to glare at him, your nostrils flared. "i was lucky to sleep one full night in the last 5 years without a singular dream of you." he tells you, his voice as steady as his eye contact. "you haunt me like a ghost, [y/n]. you always will."

you're looking at him questionably as you stand from your seat across from him, now making your way towards him. "good. i hope you never forget about what you did to me. i won't." you hiss at him, your cheeks turning red. harry's mind races with you towering over him, leaning back in his seat to fully enjoy the view.

"how could i forget about you?" he quips, that same damn smirk making you grit your teeth. you take another, heavier step towards him, your fists trembling at your sides. "stop fucking doing that," you spit threateningly.

harry cocks his head to the side, looking you up and down. he likes seeing you like this, even if it scares him a bit. "what?" he asks, pushing you even further.

you step between his legs and lean into his face, only leaving a few inches between you. "that, you fucking creep. is this funny to you?" your voice is raised now, the anger finally starting to boil over again. "not at all," harry says, still smirking at your reaction.

"then wipe the smirk off your face and stop doing this to me, harry." you instruct him, leaning back to cross your arms in front of you. harry's biting his lip, not able to resist the lustful thoughts he's having of you in this situation. "doing what, exactly?" he asks, curious what you mean.

"this, all of this, harry. you look at me like a starving animal. you watch me around the house like a stalker. you say you think of me all the time and yet you've only so much as touched my chin." you rattle off, clearly frustrated with these thoughts you've kept inside. "you bring me back here and have me live like a princess when there's people outside who live like animals because of you and what you've done," you continue to raise your voice at him, now getting yourself completely worked up.

harry just watches you, like always, not disagreeing with any of your sentiments. as he normally doesn't, he knows you're a smart girl.

"and you're still fucking looking at me like that," you growl, your arm coming across his neck once more, like the first night you were here, holding him against the cushions of the couch.

harry doesn't stop you, as he never does, and instead enjoys the feeling of you kneeling between his legs in an attempt to further choke him. "i swear on my own life i'll still kill you, potter. what the fuck do you want from me?" you interrogate him, your dark eyes searching him for answers.

the smirk on harry's face only grows, causing you to push further into his throat. it's ironic how much he wants from you right now that would only further put his life at risk in your hands.

"i…never wanted…anything…" harry chokes out. he knows he's stronger than you and could easily escape your grasp, but he enjoys the feeling of letting you have control over the moment, and over him.

"that's a fucking lie," you say through gritted teeth, getting nose to nose with harry. "tell me what you want." you insist.

harry's heart is racing, his mind going blank from the lack of oxygen, and an inconvenient erection growing through his trousers. he could tell you so many things he wants, how many nights he's spent imagining you on top of him like this once again. he knows it would only anger you more, and he was almost tempted by that thought alone.

after a few moments of harry struggling to keep his eyes focused on you, you could feel something against your thigh that caught your attention. glancing down, your weight on harry's throat lessened enough for him to breathe slightly. you looked back up at his eyes with a look of confusion and shock before quickly returning to anger.

"seriously? are you fucking turned on right now as i'm threatening your life?" you ask him with disgust, slightly pulling away. harry's cheeks flush as he tries to catch his breath, your arm still resting across this collarbone. he stays quiet, his eyes glancing between you and his lap.

you scoff at him. "you're so pathetic, potter. how you were ever a leader of anything is a mystery to me." you ridicule him, an amused smirk coming across your own face.

your condescending attitude only fuels harry's excitement more, trying not to let his expression expose how much he's enjoying this.

"it's almost like you want me to kill you," your voice is quiet but dangerously cold, giving harry goosebumps as your breath falls across his blushing face. he tries to stop it but his body can't resist a low whine being forced from his throat.

your eyes fall to his lips for just a moment before you lean into them, surprising harry with a hungry kiss as you relax your weight onto his body. more moans escape harry's mouth as you roughly force your tongue past his lips. his hand naturally finds your waist, but you slap it away harshly with your free hand. "no touching." you warn him, your lips brushing against his.

"yes ma'am," harry responds.

you give him a look, your other leg kneeling beside his as you straddle his thigh, your skirt falling perfectly over his knee. "i still hate you," you growl, choking him against the couch once more. "i know," harry says breathlessly, staring at you like a helpless puppy.

forcing him into a suffocating kiss, you eventually let harry breathe as your lips find his neck, your teeth sinking into his skin and hands grasping his shoulders tightly. he groans at the pain, earning a slight roll of your hips on his leg. harry wants nothing more than to touch you right now, guiding your hips into his body, pleasuring you like he's wanted to for so long. but for now, he's just glad you're kissing him, and enjoys the feeling of your breath against his bruised skin.

"shirt off." you command, sitting back to observe the puddle harry's become in your grasp. he wastes no time taking off his sweater, throwing it behind him as your eyes trace over his scarred torso. your cold gaze softens at the sight, your fingers tracing the healed wounds carefully.

for a moment, when you glance at harry through your eyelashes, he feels that same love you shared as kids. the soft, innocent admiration that came with inexperience. for just one moment, nothing was complicated, and there was no history. you were discovering harry all over again, like he had been with you.

the moment didn't last for long as your gaze hardened once more looking at him. you stood from your straddling position, much to his disappointment. he was ready for you to end the moment and leave, but you didn't.

"on your knees." you instructed him. again, harry wasted no time as he sunk to his knees in front of the couch, eye level with the hem of your skirt. he looked up at you eagerly, hardly believing the privilege he had to see you above him like this.

harry's heart was racing as you lifted your skirt to expose your panties to him. his eyes never left yours, his breathing hitching at the beauty just in front of his face. his hands were patiently folded in his lap, aching to grab every part of you.

you slowly lifted one thigh onto harry's shoulder, reaching down to take the glasses off his face for him, setting them to the side. "now," you told him, your voice seductive as you lean your weight into him once more. harry holds his shoulders steady, his mouth close enough to your soaked pantines to nearly taste you already.

"let me ride your face," you coo, your hands finding their way to his cheeks as he continues staring at you with hungry eyes. "it's the least you can do for me," you smirk, your voice still chillingly cold and cryptic.

harry lets out a sigh of relief and desperation, eyes glancing at your panties before returning to your gaze. you slowly push his open mouth onto you, not able to hold back a sound of relief yourself.

harry's eyes flutter shut as your hips roll onto his face, losing himself in your smell and taste. your fingers tangle into his hair to keep him in place, soft, breathy gasps falling from your lips as you watch from above.

after a minute you become too desperate and pull your panties aside, instructing harry to hold them as you force his mouth onto your dripping pussy. harry listens like a good boy and holds the fabric, his hand also taking the chance to grip your inner thigh. a deep moan escapes your throat at the feeling.

harry's tongue quickly works its way across your arousal, enjoying every part of you as he pushes himself further into your pussy. your hands try to pull his hair back to relieve some of the overwhelming feeling, but harry doesn't let you control him for once. he's desperate to please you, his hunger growing the more of you he's allowed to have.

harry's other hand grabs for your skirt to hold it above his head, opening his eyes to meet your gaze. your face is twisted in pleasure, lips bitten, eyes glazed over as you watch harry disappear between your legs.

harry moans at the sight of you, sending shivers across your skin. you moan, biting your lips closed, your hips stuttering against his mouth. "fuck," you mumble, earning another moan from harry as his tongue circles your sensitive clit.

a hand rushed to your mouth as you attempt to hide your filthy noises, the feeling making your eyes roll back. you're trying to mask your pleasure, but harry can see right through you.

you finally successfully pull his mouth off of you, lips swollen and wet as his head rests in your grip. "good," you say breathlessly. your voice falters a bit. you take your thigh off harry's shoulder, again, much to his disappointment.

"sit," you tell him, gesturing to the couch once more. harry complies, returning to his spot on the couch behind him. you reach forward and unbutton his pants, pulling them down a bit with his assistance. you can see his erection through his briefs, causing you to smirk a bit before returning to your neutral expression.

"no touching," you remind harry as you position yourself to straddle his hips, your arms wrapping around his shoulders. harry's sure you can hear his heartbeat racing under your control.

you start grinding your soaking wet panties against harry's clothed cock, your mouth falling open with his at the sensation. the light of the fire behind you leaves harry with the beautiful sight of you glowing in his lap, your warm skin pressed against his as your breathy moans fall into his neck.

harry can hardly take the teasing any longer, his moans becoming needier the harder he gets under you. "fuck, [y/n]," his voice is deep with desire, his head rolling back once your roll your hips into him harshly. you moan at the sound of your own name, your hands returning to his shoulders as your nails dig deep into his skin.

"that's right, say my name," you smirk, grinding into harry at a faster pace. "so pathetic," you remind him.

harry continuously lets your name fall from his lips as you watch him, a helpless, desperate mess beneath you. he loves the feeling of letting you use him any way you want to.

soon you can't wait much longer, and you pull out harry's cock from his briefs. the feeling of your hand grasping his shift makes harry's hips buck up involuntarily, silently asking for more.

you can't help but chuckle at just how eager he is. you're more than enjoying the control and effect you have over him.

"now," you say again, causing harry to look back at you with needy eyes. "you're gonna let me use you until i cum," you tell him, teasing yourself with the feeling of him against your wet pussy. harry's eyes nearly roll back again as he nods for you, his lips parted with uneven breaths.

you slide harry inside of you, adjusting to the feeling as harry's head falls back once again in pleasure. "so fucking wet," harry sighs softly, nearly whining. once your hips lower completely onto his length, you start to ride harry slowly, still adjusting to him. he's a full blown whining mess beneath you, his chest flushed and heaving as your pussy tightens around him.

you take in the sight of him, your eyes exploring every sweaty part of his body as you continue riding at a slow pace. you unwrap your arms from his shoulders, leaning back into your hips. "take my shirt off," you tell harry.

his eyes open again, looking at you eagerly. his hands nervously begin lifting your shirt, holding the fabric carefully between his fingers, and savors the sight and feeling of pulling it off of you, his eyes glancing at your chest before locking with yours again.

"so beautiful," he tells you, your skin looking deliciously soft in the warm lowlight. "i know, now be quiet," you shut him up, picking up the pace of your hips.

harry's eyes narrow at you, the intoxicating feeling of you wrapped around his cock only making him hungrier for your pleasure. the sight of you bouncing in his lap, your breasts just in front of his face as you lean your hands next to his head on the back of the couch.

"open," you tell harry.

he doesn't have to be told twice before his lips part, his tongue eagerly waiting for you. you guide your nipple into his mouth, your hips rolling onto harry's cock in circles. his teeth and tongue tease the sensitive skin, your pussy gripping harry even more and earning a low growl from his chest. his hands remained at his sides, but he wanted nothing more than to feel you everywhere on top of him.

you start riding harry once more, his teeth still gripping your nipple making you whine at the feeling. "fuck," you let the word slip out, your own teeth sinking into your bottom lip. harry's more than aroused at your reaction to him, his cock aching inside of you to release.

you pull harry's head back by his hair, forcing him to look up at you. you reach for his glasses that you sat down earlier, returning them to his face delicately. harry appreciates the gesture and can better see the pleasure in your eyes, a soft smile falling across his lips.

"so pretty," he whispers. he can see the blush you try to hide, looking away from his eyes and down at your hips.

you start groaning in frustration, your grip on his hair tightening, causing harry to wince. "you're gonna make me cum," you tell him through broken moans, your thrusts becoming uneven. harry can feel you tightening around him again. he groans at the feeling, your name slipping from his mouth again and again. this only makes you fall apart more, high pitched whimpers coming from you as you chase your high.

you soon sink into harry's neck, your cries of pain and pleasure falling across his skin as your legs start to shake. you can't even form words as your body feels the waves of intense pleasure from each thrust onto harry's cock. your hands move to his shoulders again, holding onto him for stability as you continue to ride out your climax.

harry grows impatient at the feeling of your orgasm and watching you break down into him. he finally grabs for you, moving your hips to the couch beside him, staying inside you while you gasp at his movement. he kicks off his pants and adjusts himself between your legs.

"harry," you try to protest, your voice weak and shaky. "just let me do this, darling," he growls, his hips becoming flush against yours as he pushes his cock completely inside of you. you let out a gasp, your hand slapping over your lips once more.

harry hungrily digs his cock deeper inside of you with each slow thrust, his hands holding himself up above you as he watches his cock easily slide in and out of your soaking wet pussy. he folds your legs back as he sinks even deeper into you.

"holy fuck," he groans, his breathing heavy, hands gripping the back of your thighs to keep himself steady. "so beautiful, [y/n]," harry tells you again, his droopy eyes focused on your face twisted in pleasure.

you look at him, your eyes full of lust, but still cold as ice. "i…hate you," you remind him through strained breaths, struggling to take his entire length, still glaring at him.

this pushes harry over the edge, his hips quickening until he feels himself start to unravel. he pulls out of your warm pussy and cums on your stomach, groaning at the sight of you below him.

you gasp at the feeling, looking at harry with shock. "did you just cum from me saying i hate you?" you ask, your tone mocking his desperation. harry nods, still stroking his cock slowly, his other hand remaining on your thigh as his moans quiet down.

"you're disgusting," you tell him coldly, but harry can see the smirk on your face and the lust in your eyes. he watches you below him, smirking in return.

"and you love it."

[lord-leclerc]

fate or destiny? (charles leclerc)

pairing: charles leclerc x fem! reader

summary: inspired by ceilings by Lizzy McAlpine. I did change a few concepts though.(i didn't include the last part of the song because im going through writer's block and couldn't find a way to join those two plots.)

warnings: fluff, nsfw, mentions of nudity, mentions of sex, angst if you squint.

a/n: first time writing for a real person, please bear with me. also lemme know if you want a part two(please say yes coz it will either be insta au or dad!charles ;))

sighing at the ceiling for the hundredth time in the past thirty minutes, you felt bored out of your mind. Looking around the room, you noticed the little things that you never had before-the plaster on the wall beside the door was worn off, your bedside table had a little dent on the corner, the curtain had a coffee stain from a time you couldn't remember. Time felt like it was moving in slow motion, every waking second a seemingly excruciating long moment. You felt numb. No coherent thoughts running through your mind, you stood up. These vacations, although peaceful, were ruining your peace, your existence being a whirlwind of boredom. Walking around the room, you stopped at the window overlooking the city. You looked out the window and saw you car in the driveway and shrugged-might as well go get groceries.

-

"Its alright", said the man with a thick accent, picking up your fallen bag.

You only shifted to Monaco last summer and communicating with people with your broken french was hard, yet you still managed to get your work done somehow.

stepping out of the store with hands full of bags, you bumped into a hard chest, apologies spewing out of your mouth like water out of a faucet. "I am so sorry!", you said.

"Want me to help you carry these?", the green eyed boy asked, noticing the amount of bags you had in your hands.

Not wanting to cause anymore troubles for him, you politely denied.

"But you already have so much in your hands, it's alright, just tell me where your car is."

Realising he wouldn't budge, you lead the way to your car and he helped you put all your bags in your car.

"Thank you so much.", you said with a smile.

"you're welcome, ?", he said in a suggesting tone, wanting to catch your name.

"Oh right! I am Y/N.", you extended your hand.

"Its nice to meet you, Y/N. I'm Charles.", he shook your hand, trying not to hold it for too long because of how soft your skin was.

As mesmerised as him, you blurted out your next words without any second thoughts.

"Hey, how about I get you a coffee? both as a thank you drink and an apology?"

One look at his dimpled smile and you knew, you knew you were doomed.

that one coffee date turned into two, then three and now four. Sitting on one of the benches in the local garden, you both enjoyed the slightly gloomy yet happy weather. The cool wind brushed against your skins, making you shiver which in turn made Charles tuck you under his arm, your head on his shoulder. You sat there in a comfortable silence, feeling like having known each other for an eternity even though it had only been a few weeks. You both embraced the warmth radiating from one another's body, that is, until you felt the cool touch of the water droplets against your warm flesh. You both sat there, not caring about the rain, just melting in each other's company until the rain became too heavy.

Your giggles echoed through the now empty garden as you ran, hand in hand with Charles, towards the gazebo in the center of the place. You were both dripping with water from head to toe by the time you reached the gazebo, but the rain was so heavy that water still found its way to you from the little spaces in between the grills of the roof and the pillars. Deciding you won't be able to do anything about it now, you just shook your heads and chuckled. Still hand in hand, Charles pulled you to him, trailing his other hand down your arm and interlacing his fingers with your own, he leaned down to rest his forehead on yours. Both of you were breathing heavily. Maybe it was because you ran here or maybe it was because of the sudden drop in the temperature. Or, maybe, it was due to your sheer closeness. Charles trailed his hand back up your arm, up your neck and finally buried his fingers in your hair , making you inhale sharply. Your eyes fluttered close as he leaned your head back to take a better look at your face. To him, you looked ethereal. Cheeks a rosy shade from the cold, hair all wet and in all places, eyes closed with little puffs of air leaving your lips, oh those lips. How badly he wanted to taste them, to feel those lips against his own and swallow every next breath that leaves them. He leaned in ever more, to the point where you could feel your breath mingling with his, making your insides feel all tingly. As he brushed his lips against yours, she gasped, bringing your hands up to his sides and fisting his hoodie in them with your eyes still closed.

"Can I kiss you?", he asked in a whisper, making you open your eyes instantly.

Staring into his green hues, you nodded. He looked down at your mouth again, which flooded your stomach with butterflies and anticipation as you watched him.

"Words, Y/N. I need words."

You sucked a deep breath in and nodded again, "yes."

"Yes, what?", his lips brushed against yours with every word that came out of his mouth.

"Yes, you may kiss me, Charles."

He didn't need to be asked twice. Like a starving man, he connected his mouth with yours, swallowing your gasp. He kissed you with his entire being and you returned the kiss with the same burning passion. You kissed under the rain for what felt like forever before finally breaking apart for some air, making him chase your lips again before shaking his head and chuckling, resting his head on yours again. He just couldn't get enough of you.

As for you? You knew he was a Formula 1 driver, you knew he wouldn't be able to give you as much time and you knew all the things that came along with being the girlfriend of a celebrity and a sportsperson, but that didn't stop you. You were willing to give this a chance, to give him a chance because you couldn't get enough of him either.

-

The room was a mess of muffled gasps and moans and tangled bodies and ripped clothes.

"Charles", you gasped, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as he mouth trailed kisses down your body. Your hands in his hair while his were on your hips, to keep you stable. He made his way up your body again and whispered, "oui, mon ange?", kissing the spot just behind your ear.

As he hovered over you, you looked into his eyes and wrapped your arms around his neck before placing your lips against his.

"Please.", you said and again, he didn't need to be asked twice.

Breathing heavily, he collapsed on you. You wrapped your arms around him and kissed his forehead before turning the both of you over so you were now laying on top of him and traced circles on his chest while placing small kisses against his neck.

"Are you okay, ma belle?", he whispered before placing a kiss on your head. You just hummed in response, too tired to even say something in response. Charles lazily rubbed his hand up and down your back while gently placing his lips against the skin of your shoulder, lulling you to sleep. As you laid there in his arms, he was the only one you could feel, the only one you could think about, the only one you could hear. He had enveloped you completely- body, mind, heart and soul. When he was with you, nothing else mattered-heck, you didn't want anything else to matter. It was him and only him and you would do anything to keep it that way.

Your mouth itched to say all this to him, to say those three words and you would've, but you didn't wanna ruin the moment by saying something he might not feel. Perhaps it was too early, since it had only been one and a half month but loving is something you can't control. You don't see the time or place, it just happens. You laid there, tangled with him, your body and heart at peace but your mind was full of chaos, full of all the words you ached to say to him, but perhaps words wouldn't be enough, so you did one thing which you hoped would convey everything you were feeling to him- you kissed him and he returned it with the same passion.

Both you and Charles were very happy that you both went to get groceries that day. Call it fate or destiny, you wouldn't be here if you hadn't been bored out of your damn mind that day. As horrific as it had been, you were thankful you bumped into the green eyed stranger and dropped your bags that day. Because now you don't know how to live without said stranger and couldn't imagine a life without him.

"I'll miss you, mon ange.", he said while pulling up to your apartment.

You rolled your eyes at his dramatic self.

"You'll see me tomorrow, Charles."

"Yeah, but tomorrow is so far. Comment vais-je vivre sans toi jusque-là?, he sighed. how will i live without you till then.

"I don't think you remember but I don't understand french to that extent so I would really like if you translate it for me."

"Nothing, belle.", he smiled before taking your hand and kissing your knuckles one by one.

You tried to pout but failed miserably. All you were capable of doing around this man was smile.

As the car came to a stop, your mind fumbled with the various possibilities of what would happen if you say those three words. Would he say it back? Would he get upset? What if he doesn't say anything? Fuck it-what will happen, will happen. He is going for 2 weeks straight this time and you'll loose your mind keeping it to yourself till then.

"Charles?"

"Oui? Is everything okay?", he asked, picking up the nervousness in your voice.

"No, Charles. Everything is not okay! How could it be when you're by my side? You make me so nervous, yet so happy. You're the only one I think about all day, the only one I can feel, I can hear. You make me a better version of myself and- and I feel like spending every waking moment of my day with you! I've never felt this strongly for anyone before and it scares me but I'll loose my damn mind if I don't get this out of my system today but I-", you paused your frustrated rant and took a deep breath before averting your gaze from the window behind his head to his green orbs.

"Je t'aime, Charles.", your voice barely a whisper.

He just looked at you. And for a moment, you were afraid. Afraid that maybe he'll just smile and say nothing, or maybe he will just tell you to go or maybe he will say that things are moving too fast or-

Out of all the things you expected, him grabbing your neck and yanking you forward was definitely not it. You gasped as he connected his lips with yours in a hungry kiss. He was rough, wanting to swallow all of you. Tongues wrestling and teeth clashing, he kissed you like he never had before and you struggled to keep up with him.

"Je t'aime tellement, mon amour. You have no idea how much. I've been itching to say these words to you but I didn't want to scare you off.", he whispered against your lips.

Slowly, you opened your eyes to find him already looking at you. You chuckled at the irony. How you were afraid to tell him only to find out he was just as scared.

"What?", he smiled.

You just shook you head and placed a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

"Come to the race with me?", he asked. "After this, I don't think I'll survive two weeks without you."

You happily nodded your head, "Thought you'd never ask.". He just chuckled and kissed you once again.

"You were wrong, by the way.", he said making you furrow your brows in confusion.

"You do know how to speak french and it sounds even more beautiful coming out of that pretty mouth of yours.", he winked while staring at your lips.

You slapped his chest, "Flirt." He grabbed your hand and held it against his chest.

"But I'm your flirt", he wiggled his eyebrows making you blush.

"I wanna fuck you so bad.", he said against your neck.

"Alors qu'attendez-vous?", you decided to put your french lessons to some use. then what are you waiting for?

He bit your neck and cursed under his breath. Suddenly, he got out of the car and moved around it to open your door. He helped you out of it and grabbed your hand before hurriedly making his way towards the elevator of your apartment. As soon as the elevator reached your floor, he was dragging you out of it and towards your door, demanding for you to open it. The moment you closed the door behind you, you were pinned to the wall beside the door and it was on. It would be a long night.

[weirdkpopgirl]

Birthday Cuddles | Jeno Imagine #8

Title: Birthday Cuddles

Genre: Fluff, slight angst

Warnings: the reader doesn't have the most positive mindset?

Word Count: 823

Author's Note: I wrote this a week ago, inspired by my past birthday. Maybe it's a little selfish for me to write something like this, but oh well. Originally this was written with Jaemin in mind, but I've been posting a lot for him and it's kind of a problem. Besides, Jeno's clingy personality suits the idea I had, so it worked perfectly. I hope you guys like it. And if it's your birthday too, perhaps this can make your special day even better ^ ^

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ

As the years have passed, your birthday has become a bittersweet event that has lost its significance to you. With the number of people who have disappeared from your life—some you've even cut off, you simply didn't feel the need to celebrate. Being an introvert didn't help either. Still, as the hours passed, a tiny part of you wondered if anyone remembered your special day.

At least this year the weather mirrored your melancholic mood, as your mind was preoccupied with the stress of college. All the assignments and exams were gradually starting to wear you down.

When you finally returned to your small apartment, you felt nothing but exhausted and disheartened. The first thing you did after hanging up your coat was shed the nice outfit you had carefully put together that morning in exchange for your soft gray pajamas. It wasn’t like you had anything else planned for the day.

Just as you slumped onto the couch with a sigh, your head turned in response to the sound of your door’s passcode being unlocked. You quickly sat up, heart racing, as you spotted the familiar boy in a white hoodie and jeans. In his hand, he held a bouquet of blue and white flowers, and his eyes formed into dark crescents as they locked onto yours.

“Jeno?”

He removed his sneakers and slid into the soft blue slippers you always had set out for him before he made his way to plant a sweet kiss on your forehead. “Happy Birthday, babe.”

You frowned as he handed you the flowers and gave him a quizzical look. “Thank you. But don’t you have a schedule today?””

“Yeah, but we finished earlier than expected. So I asked Manager Noona to drop me off here,” He explained, as he sat beside you. “Now we have the rest of the evening to celebrate!”

Jeno sounded so pleased by the convenient change in his plans, yet you barely managed to smile back. As the person who knew you the best, he saw right through your facade. He could see in your eyes that something was bothering you.

“Do you…not want to celebrate?” his voice lowered. 

Though Jeno was aware of your gloomy feelings about your birthday, he had still clung to the hope that things might be different now that you two were together. But he was also one to respect your wishes, even if it meant missing out on a day that was supposed to be meaningful for you.

You shrugged and gently placed the beautiful flowers on the coffee table. Strangely, an overwhelming feeling of wanting to cry spurred as you timidly inquired, “Can we just cuddle, and maybe…you can give me some kisses?”

Jeno’s eyes softened at this request, as he knew you weren’t usually expressive about your desires. Without another word, he wrapped his arms securely around your stomach and held you close. Your bodies molded together in a warm embrace. His kisses were soft and tender, as his lips came in contact with your cheeks, forehead, and lips.

“Is there anything else I can do for you?” he asked, wanting to ensure you were okay.

Fiddling with the drawstrings from his hoodie, you shook your head. “No, you’re all I need.”

With that, Jeno and you remained in this affectionate position. He played with your hair, while your head rested on his shoulder as your fingers traced light patterns on his chest. As the calmness of the moment began to consume you, Jeno finally spoke.

"I know this day may not feel special to you," Jeno murmured, "But it's important to me because today is the day my soulmate was born."

Touched by his words, you glanced up at him with teary eyes. “How are you always so perfect?” you mused.

Jeno chuckled and gently kissed your lips again. "I'm not perfect, but I'm perfectly in love with you."

"Oh my gosh, that was so cheesy," you giggled, hiding your face in his chest. Jeno laughed shyly, blushing from his own embarrassment. But he meant what he said.

Your lips met again in a sweet, lingering kiss that left you slowly melting into the warmth of his embrace once more. “But I’m also perfectly in love with you,” you confessed, after pulling away. “Thank you for being with me today.”

Jeno had to resist kissing you again because the urge was incredibly strong. Instead, he held you a little tighter.

“There’s no other place for me than right here, (Y/n),” he said sincerely. It was crazy how much he loved you, and how much you loved him. Though both of you struggled to show it at times, you had these intimate moments where you could appreciate each other.

Jeno was one person in your life who made you feel so loved on your birthday.

° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 °° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ° 𐐪𐑂 ♡ 𐐪𐑂 ₒ

[aeliesa]

SAFE SPACES OF AGONY

Synopsis: When he died, you suffered in different ways, and when things are starting to go their own way, Satoru knows what to do, even if it means altering everything all at once.

• Relationship: Gojo Satoru x female reader (with mention of Suguru) • Content: Lightweight angst • Words: 2.7k • Song: Life Puzzle by Arthur Nery

A/N: I just came back for a short post. I've been away for so long that I miss writing and staying on Tumblr as my way of de-stressing. The world moves quickly, and I want to pause and enjoy the moment. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this short (?) post I wrote on my short break while listening to my playlist on spotify. There's some canon divergence but only a little. Thank you, stay safe and hydrated. ♡

“I found her first! I love her first!”

“But she chooses me; you and I both know her choices are out of our bounds.”

The rain keeps pouring, sheltering his emotions in the cold breeze and grey clouds, almost like despair is the only thing inside him. He never likes this idea, yet he has to entertain it again whenever it comes back from the dead. He detests it; however, what choice does he have? In this modernity, he is known as the strongest, the keeper of the scale between evil and good. Somehow, when it comes to you - he’s reminded how he can never have everything the way he wants to. He was born the strongest; regardless, his strength wasn’t enough to tame someone he longed to have. He sighs and gently shakes his head before raising his fist to knock on the door, only to stop mid-air and open it. “At the very least, Satoru, let me win this time.”

“We both know I already lost before it started.”

Silence engulfs the whole place; the emptiness of warmth welcomes like a ravaging wild wave that washes along the shore. The gloominess of the weather has escalated the atmosphere inside the house, the darkness, coldness, and even the silence. 

It’s like walking into the abyss to save someone from falling into the pits of depression. 

“You were supposed to stay on the side and let things unfold!”

“I did, but she made her move. It is not my fault that I am what she wants.”

He hangs his coat on the rack before taking the path upstairs, finding his subject. Each step he takes is also how his heart is hammering against his chest. The silence was different this time; it was a creeping sensation of something he never desired to happen, much less think of it. He shakes his head once it crosses again, ‘No, she won’t do that.’ His strides keep on going till he hears small sobs in a small distance across the door, where the only sound he hears upon entering your place. “I promised her… that I’ll return after things are okay.”

“You made her believe in something already a far cry.”

“I know, and it seems like I’ll just leave her in your hands.” Satoru opens the door, knocking gently before calling your name in a whispering manner. He could only sigh at seeing you lying on your stomach with disheveled hair, hugging the clothes of someone he once knew. “Hey….” he softly mutters under his breath, walking to your side, observing how the mood is continuously depleting each second. Satoru studies you for a while; he can tell how heavy things are for you - caught between the situation and forced to choose between right and wrong, leaving the safe spaces of neutrality.

Soft sobs are just the only answer you give. Not that it matters to Satoru; amongst everyone, you know that he’s the only one who understands you the most. When everyone dictated your emotions and actions, there he was, standing on the other side - welcoming you with compassion par to none. “I’m sorry,” you sigh, sitting on the bed and wiping your tears. “I should have prepared long ago -” “No need…” he cuts you off, making you look at him, despite the puffy eyes. “No need to force yourself. We can stay here and do whatever you want.”

“You know what I want right now, Satoru.” “Still, I don’t mind,” he nonchalantly replies, pulling a chair and sitting before you. “You like to cry all you want? Go. Do you want to just lay on the bed and think about him? Be my guest. Sulk as much as you want today, lay on the bed throughout the hours, and just be lost in your own world; I don’t mind - as long as you bring me where your thoughts go.” You close your eyes and run your hand on your temples, a cracked voice and shaky breath; you answer: “But it is like that day….” “And? If it makes you feel better, then we do it. You can’t just shut your emotions just because you were told by those around you…” he leans a little, meeting your gaze with his. “I don’t want you to make yourself suffer even more by restraining the raging emotions.”

“I miss him.” In a blink, he softens as he watches you smiling faintly with closed eyes, the redness of your.  “I know…” he nods, only staring at your features. “I do, too.” Satoru observes your face; he loves them. To see you being vulnerable with him, being bossy, being noisy, being jovial - everything about you - he loves all of it. Be it the worst or not, it is worth loving as long as it is you. 

A tear falls from your face, then another follows until it cascades down your cheeks. Satoru just patiently listens to your sobs as you cover your face with both hands while sitting on the side of the bed wearing the clothing of the man you love - who passed away in the hands of the same man who is comforting you. “Why did it have to happen? Why do I have to be so blind from everything? Why? Why didn’t he listen?” “It is not your fault,” he reminds you, calling your name almost like it is a fragile thing to say. “It’s never your fault.” You shake your head, still sobbing. “But it feels like it, Satoru. It feels like I failed to remind him that there is kindness in everything, that everything he saw was just the ugly side of the mirror - he was convinced by his philosophy. I saw it in his eyes!” It is hard for him, but to witness your struggle, Satoru could barely grasp the surface of what you’re dealing with. Apart from him, you suffered too when his best friend - Suguru Geto, died, if not worse. When he was losing himself is where you appear, sought after his hands to lift him from the turmoil troubling him. And yet, somehow… you did save Satoru, but who’s keeping you from going insane? “I know I don’t have enough idea about these curses, sorcerers, and whatnot, but at the very least, am I not a reminder of what you guys should protect?” you continue when he doesn’t react. “Why did it have to resort to such violence.” “You are,” Satoru assures, still sitting on the chair and watching you pouring your heart out on him. “You are a reminder, the thin line that keeps me holding on to what I should be fighting for.” “But I am not enough,” your voice cracks again. “I am not enough because it happened, Satoru. In your hands is where Suguru died, and I never resent you for it.” As he listens to you, Satoru remains silent for a while, losing himself in a reverie of his memories with the man you longed to hold, feel, and love.  “If you’re concerned if she’ll hate you once this is over, I’ll tell you this, Satoru: she won’t.”

“Why are you so sure?”

“Because she’s unlike any other.”

His friend has nailed his words. Suguru never lied whenever it was about you. At some point, it felt like Suguru knew you better than Satoru, even though the latter crossed paths with you first. You were the ray of sunshine, the bringer of hope, and the beacon of their humanity, the constant reminder of what they are protecting. Unlike them, you were just an average citizen caught in the fight of the cursed users. Yet, the accident was the turning point for the weaver of faith to write your own life. Caught between two worlds only to stay in the grey line for so long, content with living on both sides of the reality you’ve come to witness. “Do you hate me for it?” You paused, looking at him despite the messiness of your face. “Hate? Where did that notion come from?” you ask, bewildered. “I already told you I never resent you for what happened.” “J-Just a t-thought. I wouldn’t blame -” “Never did it cross my mind,” you cut off. “I understand you were backed against the wall and forced to do it. It’s just… I am upset with the situation; why doesn’t evilness just disappear? It is frustrating at some point. I could only watch you guys do your thing while I waited for everything to finish.” “That’s not true, you -” You gently chuckle with a crying tone, “Oh please, don’t sugarcoat it. It’s always been like that since the beginning. We both know I can’t do anything except wait for my friends to return from their missions. Sometimes, it’s hard to witness this stuff and turn a blind eye to it occasionally. In some situations, I must deal with the constant fear that I will not see you again walking inside my house; I had to beg the Heavens on my knees, called upon the saints and whatever deity graces my pleas.”

Satoru very well knows it; he’s the one who placed you in that situation, and along with it is the burden you had to carry. Selfish, it may seem, but to love you from afar is far from his desires. He pulled you, placing you where he believed was the best place for you to walk, which, in the same manner, is the same line that he can hold you. For whatever it is, Satoru couldn’t let your hand fall from his grasp, even when you were suffering in two worlds: between the life of the blindsided and the curses. “I can’t also lose you, okay?” you smile, still crying, facing him. “I can’t lose you too because losing Suguru is too much to handle, and I could not go on if you also will leave.” This time, he sighs and shifts his seat, pulling you into a hug as he sits beside you. “You. Will. Never. Lose. Me.” His firm voice came like a dulcet to your ears; a safety net for you to fall, a wall for you to lean on, a home for you to feel secure. The fervent of Satoru’s words is for you to hear and for him to fulfill. His words are carved amongst the stars that align with the destiny that holds the fate of your relationship with him. “You better honor that because the last guy who promised me is dead.” He nods, closing his eyes and kissing your temple softly. “My words carry the weight of my actions, and the universe is a witness as I say that even if all of me will cease to exist, I will still find my way to you,” he brushes your hair gently, “In this agony is where you’re drowning yourself to the extent of destruction but in all of everything, you will always see me seeking for your hand to reach you even if you’re on the other side; be it the doubts and anxiety, I'll give you peace and tranquility, and if not, then I can be the safe space that will shelter you against the world cruelty of the world.” “Promises… again.” “I meant it,” he says with determination upon sensing the reluctance, calling your name. “I mean it,” he repeats. “You two are indeed best friends,” Satoru gently chuckles at your comment. “Suguru also says the same.” “Well, it’s like they said… your friend is a piece of who you are.” You sigh, nuzzling your head; soft hair tickles his neck, making Satoru feel the tears against his skin. “If he could just be here with us, I miss him…” he tightens his hug around you. “So much….” you add, biting your lower lip and reciprocating the same intensity of embrace.

As the room fills with your soft sobs, he can only rub his hand on your back as you keep pouring your heart out. He knows the pain of losing someone and the vigor of mourn brings is beyond what each human can grasp. Pain is profound; it goes deeper than what an individual perceives. For you to be in a state of wreck for months already speaks the volume of how the death of his best friend break you. 

It has been months if not almost a year - and you changed drastically. 

“Weeks before that event happened, he promised. He promises me that he’ll come back, that we celebrate his birthday together - with you and Ieiri…” you sniff, “But here we are on the very day, remembering him wrenchingly.”

The rain outside continues to rampage, but your room's dimness worsens everything. The atmosphere is already hard enough, but for Satoru to see you like this? He wishes to end your suffering, but how can he? The chances were laid on the table, and the choice was yours. 

Satoru placed you in the midline that meets the norm and the other side… but Suguru gave you the choices to pick. “We can do something different. If you want, we can still go on with our initial plan.” “No,” you shake your head, breaking the hug. “I can’t give you that pain; it is selfish and immoral.” He frowns, “What do you mean? We always do this on Suguru’s birthday.” “Yes, and this time, I want it to stop.” “Why? Did I do something wrong?” You shake your head, “No, it’s just unfair and selfish for me. It feels nice to see you here and check me out. I know I have been a constant mess since Suguru died… you just can’t help it when someone you love is now a piece of history, a part of you also dies, right?” you heave a deep breath and turn to Satoru, smiling faintly, “When he passed away, a part of me went with him, and it will forever be with him…” When Satoru placed you in a tight situation, Suguru gave you a choice, and you responded to the opportunity. “You see, Satoru, I cannot do it anymore. The pretension and everything that everything is okay, we both know you don’t like the idea of doing what Suguru and I always do on his birthday.” “It doesn’t matter to me as long as it makes you feel better,” his voice's firmness is the anchor that pulls your hesitation back at bay. “If it’s how I can make you happy, I am willing to fill his shoes.” “I made you suffer, and I don’t like it. Relishing my memory with Suguru is never the answer; we can’t continue like this forever.”

“You love him that much, huh?” “More than what I can give up.” “Lucky bastard,” he jests, making you chuckle. 

Maybe in another timeline, if perchance it exists, the tiny hope lingers in him that he won’t hear the same thing. Deep in his thoughts lies the idea that you were choosing the other way… that the choices that Suguru laid on you are different… that you pick him over his best friend.

“I’m sorry…” you say in a low voice wiping your tear. “As much as I want to do it again, I can’t. I really can’t put you in the worst feeling possible.” Satoru takes your hand, gently squeezing it as he gazes at you with no pretension of his desires. “To hell with what I feel if, in return, is your warmth radiating upon me.”

“Silly. You have done enough, I think I should be on my own now.”

“She’s so bubbly; even her laughs are infectious. Damn, if you could only see how she makes those ugly laughs with those features.” “Then, take me.” “Huh?” “Take all of me; anywhere you go, I want to be there too. It can be in your imagination, thoughts, or the smallest things - take me wherever you go. I want to see what you see, dive into your thoughts, and carve everything in my mind, the pieces of you.” Desperation occurs when a person feels like he’s losing all his cards; at this very moment, Satoru has given up every ace he has. As much as he wants to deny it, he feels envious of his best friend, for Suguru saw the different puzzles of your identity, and Satoru has longed to witness all of it since the moment he saved you from the curses. “That some sick joke, you bastard.” “It’s just a hypothetical situation; come on. If I die, I want you to take her hand and lift her sorrows because I can’t do it.” “Sa-Satoru… wh-what d-do y-” He takes your hand, leaning against your forehead with a deep breath; he speaks…

“Date me.”

fin.

[rxgnor0k]

Lover’s Escape — E.Munson

Masterlist➢𖤓

summary | <It’s decided that you’re running away soon after the upcoming holiday without telling anyone… and you’re taking Eddie Munson with you>

tags | <Eddie Munson x reader, fluff, angst?, eddie and reader are 18+, wheeler!reader, make out session, grinding>

warnings | <NOT PROOFREAD, sexual tension, Nancy slander???(kind of)>

⚠️ i will not allow anyone copy and pasting my work into any other social platform or site without consulting with me first ⚠️

───────────────────────

Upon it’s arrival, the rain showered down as the wind howled through the open window of the trailer window. The sun stayed hidden by the gloomy, grey clouds, while the town of Hawkins remained indoors for the day. The trees’ leaves glistened with ran drops, as for the road as well.

There wasn’t much to do on a day like this. All the fun things were far and required actual effort. Luckily, you were at Eddie’s before the weather’s dramatic change.

Kissing each other hungrily, you straddle Eddie’s lap for a more comfortable position, rather than practically being on top of him. Eddie’s hands flew to your waist, gripping them for more support. Your hand were kept at his shoulders, slowly creeping up to his hair, grasping it. Along with the intimacy, came a loud thundering noise from the outside. You moaned into his mouth as he squeezed your thighs, aware of the erection that had suddenly appeared.

“Runaway with me,” you whisper onto his lips, your hips grinding into his.

“What?” Eddie questions, pulling away from the heated kiss, still keeping his hands in your waist. You stop grinding and peer into his eyes.

“You heard me,” you started. “Runaway with me. After thanksgiving, you and I will runaway to a place far from here.”

“As much as I’d love to, I’m pretty sure your parents would call the cops.”

“They won’t care, they never do,” you say, placing your hands onto Eddie’s shoulders. “All they talk about is Nancy and her stupid dream. I don’t think they’d notice if i’m gone. I’m never home anyways, it won’t matter.”

That was somewhat correct. You were always second to Nancy, never the first. It was like your parents intended to have only one child, but unexpectedly had two. You were the extra, and always would be. Sophomore year of high school, you won the prize of first place for an national writing competition. Nancy also entered, but unexpectedly won top five, instead of first. Your parents never congratulated you, all they did was comfort Nancy after her dramatic melt down, complaining that her life was ruined.

It was at that moment that you realized your importance in the eyes of your parents. Since then, you’ve completely went off path, and changed your whole life. Meeting Eddie was perhaps the best thing to happen in three years . Aware of your relationship with your parents, he made sure you felt seen. Which is why, you wanted to take him with you on your escape from Hawkins.

“Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, think about the hardships you’d have to go through. What about money? How would you deal with that?” Eddie asked, truly engaged with the conversation. He did want to join you, but it definitely was a complicated subject.

“What do you think I do when I’m not with you? I don’t prance around all day and sing songs. I work at a tattoo parlor in Ohio. I’ve saved up enough money to live off of for the both of us. I’ve really though hard on this, Eddie, I know what I want to do.”

It’s not like you and Eddie haven’t discussed your futures. The both of you were set on leaving Hawkins, and perhaps get married, but running away? Isn’t that a bit harsh? The look in your eyes said it all, you really wanted to leave. He knew you were unhappy, and all he wanted to do was to make you the happiest woman alive, so maybe just this once he could sacrifice everything and leave.

“Please say something before I change my mind and leave you be,” you said, anxious to hear about Eddie’s response to your plan.

“Sure, princess, I’ll go with you, but you have to promise me one thing,” Eddie started, taking you me hand into his.

“Of course, I’d do anything for you, Eds.”

“You’ll never give up, because something like this requires a lot of time and effort,” he said.

You nodded, “I promise.”

From that moment on, all you could think about was the time you’d spend with Eddie, planning the escape. At one point, though, you did think about your parents.

“How would they react to me missing?” you thought, not that it mattered in the slightest bit.

Eventually, time passed, the leaves on the trees turned to warm colors, while the temperature became cooler. Your planned escape was creeping closer and closer as time flew by.

You were nervous, yet excited. Life truly began when you took Eddie’s hands, and promised him to never give up. The moment the two of you shared a loving gaze after that was when you knew you weren’t worried about anything that threatened you. Eddie was there to protect and vice versa.

After all, it was you and Eddie against the world.

───────────────────────

a/n: hey y'all!!! Sorry if i haven't posting as much as i did before, I went on a little hiatus. I do hope you like this fic, it's base off of one of my many day dreams. byeee!

Reposts and requests are always welcomed! Make sure to go check ou my other stuff! My masterlist is linked at th top of the page! Thank you for reading my fan fic!

[alexx013]

A/N: Hii, I'm finally posting the second part to the "friend who starts ghosting you" story. Angst -> comfort/fluff Characters: Kaveh, Tighnari TW: bitchy friend Written in: Second person Part 1

Kaveh 

It was a cloudy but warm Wednesday. The gloomy weather definetely didn’t help with the long lectures at Amurta, so it felt like they lasted for days. Today you learnt about some of the unique to Sumeru types of animals and had to write an 10 page essay about one of them. You chose dusk bird and walked to the main area of The Akademiya to get to the House of Daena. If you wanted to do well, you needed a lot of materials that would help you. 

As you walked past the main hall of Akademiya, with the pretty fountain in center you saw your childhood friend – Aarnav with some other people. You used to hang out a lot, but since he decided to join Vahumana you barely talked. He found new friends, and the dark ash-haired boy with his face covered in freckles you knew dissapeared. You walked up to Aarnav and asked: 

“Hii, how’s life? “ 

You didn’t achieve a response however, he looked at you with his nose scrunched from disgust and one raised brow. Then Aarnav walked away, as his friends followed you.  

“Ou, that does hurt” you thought to yourself “I spent all of those years by your side and you..” 

You thought that the best way to clear your thoughts was to go write this essay. You’d be productive and have something else to think. You walked into the House of Daena, now surrounded by millions if not billions of books. The light scent of wood coming from the bookcases and furniture eased you up a little. You made your way towards the section you wanted and picked up a few books. You took out the necessities from your bag: paper, pen, pencil, some sticky notes to brainstorm ideas on where to put something, and got to writing. 

“There are many unique species of animals native to Sumeru. From mammals, even to amphibians. Today I’d like to focus on a species of bird living in the jungles of this nation – Dusk Bird...”  

As hours went by, it was already early night. You still sat slumped on your chair writing the goddamn essay. You still had 2 more pages to write, and it didn’t stop you from thinking about the encounter earlier. You lost 2:0.  

Then you felt a hand on your arm and a slightly worried voice saying: 

“Sweetheart, it’s already late. Why are you still sitting here?” 

You turned around and looked at the owner of the voice – your boyfriend Kaveh. He looked quite pretty in the faint lighting coming from the lamp at the desk, yet you could see dark eyebags caused by him staying up to finish one of his projects again. You stood up and sligthly wincing from the pain in your lower back hugged the male. He was warm and had a slight scent of Mourning Flowers, he held you close by the waist pressing his forehead against yours. Then with a quiet voice, as not to startle you he asked: 

“Hard day?” 

To which you nodded. He took your hand and while gently grasping it pressed a light kiss on your forehead and added.  

“How about we take the homework and go to my house. You look like you need a self-care night. Then tommorow, if you still feel bad we’ll go to your favourite place to clear your mind. Or to Port Ormos” 

To which you replied: 

“But... my homework” 

He shushed you and packed all of your things into your black bag. Then offering you his hand, and holding your bag in the second one, he lead you out of the Akademiya. When you were at the entrance placed between pots with leafy plants on both sides you stopped noticing that it started to rain. When he looked at you in confusion you told him that the weather changed. Both of you started searching around for something that would protect you from the rain. You heard him whining:  

“When did it start to rain? Oh no, I forgot to bring an umbrella ;--;” 

You made a run for it, and 20 minutes later stood outside of his and Alhaitham’s house. The grumpy bookworm opened the door and went back to his book while both of you went inside. You followed Kaveh to his room and took the comfy clothes he picked up, and made your way towards the bathroom to change. You were now wearing a comfy white, oversized shirt and some orange sweatpants. Kaveh joined you in his room few minutes later carrying a light, woven box with a lot of stuff inside. He took out some sheet masks, eye masks, nail polishes, two adorable makeup headbands, a cleanser and a moisturizer. He gave you a froggo one, and put on his one with little lion ears. Then, while handing you the cleanser he asked:  

“Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

You looked at him, thinking for a while and replied: 

“I don’t know” 

He lightly smiled and said: 

“That’s okay, take as much time as you need. If you want to talk, I’m always here” 

He booped your nose and continued with the self-care routine. The night passed quickly, full of laughter and breaks for cuddling. You even convinced Alhaitam to paint his nails with both of you, somehow. Well, he agreed to only have one nail painted but that’s still a win. Some hours later you fell asleep in your boyfriend’s embrace with a little smile on your face. 

Everything was gonna be okay 

Nari 

It was a cold, rainy day. You roamed around terrain surrounding Gandharva Village fulfilling your duty as a Forest Ranger. You walked on a grassy path as raindrops hit the trees, and then fell onto you ending their journey sinking into the grass. As usual you were tasked with eliminating any monsters nearby which could pose a threat to the village. The monsters that lived in this area were thankfully mostly Fungi and Hillichurls. Those are easy to defeat as opposed to abyss mages, especially since you did not own a vision which could break its shield.  

As you stood at a crossroad you saw a group of Fungi in the distance. You took out your sword and ran towards the enemies. You took the easier ones with a few slashes, while dodging the attacks of the bigger ones. Now that you were left with only two of the more difficult ones to fight you corrected your standing position so it would be easier to land a good hit. But those fuckers decided to fly up, so you reached to your belt with many useful things and chose a few daggers Tighnari made for you, throwing them at the Winged Cryoshroom and Dendroshroom. They fell onto the ground with a huge impact which allowed you to kill them with more ease.  

Some hours later, when you finished your patrol, you stood at the entrance to Gandharva Village. You saw your friend standing on a bridge nearby, talking to someone. He was from Fontaine but moved to Sumeru to live a more peaceful and closer to nature life. He had ashy blonde hair and green eyes, his name was Félix. You happily walked up to him and said: 

“Hiya, long time no see” 

To which he looked at you and then walked away, friends walking behind him. You stood there stunned, that wasn’t the first time it happened, but like why… why?

You decided to go to Tighnari’s hut, he always knew what to do. As you walked inside of his cozy home, filled to brim with books regarding different animal or flower species and healing methods, you smiled slightly. You really liked both this place, because it eased your mind, and its owner. Speaking about the owner, the fennec fox – human hybrid (aka a Valuka Shuna descendant) was sitting on a stool and intensively reading a book with a bottle green cover. You walked up to him and wrapped your arms around his neck nuzzling your face in his hair. His ears twiched as he said: 

“Good afternoon, dear” 

He gently grasped your hand drawing little circles on it with his thumb as his tail slightly wagged and then Nari asked: 

“How did the patrol go?” 

You kissed him on top of his head and replied: 

“Mhm, it went okay. But after that…” 

He stood up, putting a bookmark between the pages he was reading and leading you towards his bed (because I don’t think they have the space for couches) making you sit on it. Then he walked up to his tiny stove and poured water into a traditional, ceramic kettle with leaves and flowers drawn on it. Then he looked at you with those soft eyes and asked: 

“What type of tea do you want, dear?” 

To which you replied 

“Anything would be fine. Thank you, Nari” 

Tighnari chose a jar with light green tea leaves and colorful chunks of fruits ranging from green to pinkish red, taking it out of the cupboard and putting it in the tea strainers. Then he hummed as the kettle let out a whistly noise meaning the water was ready. He poured the water into the cup and brought it to you as the liquid inside changed colour from transparent to light brown. He put the cup on his nightstand and said: 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

To which you nodded, as he opened his arms letting you hug him as much as you need. You gently embraced him, resting your chin on his arm as you felt his hands wrapping around you. You took a deep breath and started talking about how your friend, who you have known for quite some time, has become more and more distant lately to the point where he would just ignore you. And you just didn’t know what to do about it, you didn’t want to lose him. When you finished tears were streaming out of your eyes, but it felt good to be finally able to talk about the topic. Tighnari took your face and while swiping your tears with his thumb said: 

“If your friend is abandoning you, it means he wasn’t worth you, dear. Don’t waste any more time trying to save a friendship, which can’t be saved” 

He kissed your nose and reached for the tea he made earlier, giving it to you. He smiled and said: 

“Harra Fruit tea, will make every sadness disappear" 

He hummed, stroking your back as you drank the tea. It was good, the soft notes of fruitiness mixed with the typical green tea taste. When you finished drinking, he set it aside on the nightstand and took your hands in his. He drew lil shapes on them and asked: 

“Dear, why do you always have cold hands? That means that your body is constantly in a survival mode, that’s not good. If you want, you can tuck your hands into my tail” 

To which you happily buried your hands in his fluffy black and green tail. Both of you made yourself comfortable, one leaning on the other and sat there as nothing besides the wind, the rain hitting the windows and gentle voice of Nari reading the book out loud disturbed the evening. 

Soon you forgot about the encounter with your “friend” earlier. 

That didn’t matter anymore 

[the-winter-spider]

Element

Pairings: Bucky x Reader, Steve x Reader

Warnings: Mention of a possible suicide attempt, angst

A/N: Honestly not sure what this is, i just started writing what came to mind lol not proof read or edited, try to enjoy.

Word Count: 2.6k

—

You were always the quiet and reserved one, everyone was each known for their own personality trait. Steve was brave and courageous, Bruce was smart and kind, Nat was a flirtatious, beautiful and brave, Tony was cocky genius, Wanda was strong and a fighter, Clint was mostly always right and gave the best advice, Thor was heroic and loyal, the list could go on and on for everyone. When Bucky was finally able to leave Wakanda Steve was over the moon to have his best friend back, a place you took while he was gone and you were sad to give it up but it was the right thing to do, Steve couldn’t stop talking about how he knew how well you and Bucky would get along, you were both quiet, reserved and extremely observant both have gone through torturte and human experimentation.

And he was right, when Steve wasn't there, Bucky would be with you and you with him. At first there was just silence, but it wasn't an awkward silence, it was comfortable. That's how things stayed for a while before slowly you started to crack small jokes here and there, you were funny and you knew it but it was the type of humour that wasn't for everyone, and the first time you made a joke around Bucky you didn’t even expect for him to hear it. You were all sat around the dinner table everyone else was chattering away and Bucky and you of course remained to yourself just observing and eating dinner, someone said something and you don’t remember who said it or what was said all you remember was whispering out “that's what she said” it was stupid so stupid, you felt your cheeks heat up when you realized you said it outloud but everyone else kept talking you thought you were in the clear that was until Bucky nearly choked on his food and laughed, not just any laugh but wholeheartedly laugh and then everyone when silent almost immediately, all eyes on your two. You could see the shock on their faces, that was the first time anyone heard Bucky laugh besides Steve, you looked up to see Steve with the biggest grin on his face, Tony looked between the two of you raising his eyebrows “So she has jokes? Please do have the honours of filling us in on what was so funny you made a guy” he gestured towards Bucky with his hands before continuing “with the permanent frown, turn it upside down?”

Before you knew it Bucky was groaning, you could hear his fork clattering against the plate, you could still feel everyone staring at you, you still did not respond to Tony, someone else said something but you couldn’t hear it because it started raining hard, your heart rate was picking up. Steve looked out the window knowing why it suddenly started to rain and decided to take the attention off of you too “Alright guys, how about we leave them alone and finishing eating so we can watch that movie Bruce wants us to watch” Steve reached over giving your arm a slight squeeze, you felt your breathing become normal and heart rate slowing down, and suddenly it stopped raining.

That was only the first time you made Bucky laugh, there was countless times after that, where you two would be sitting so close to each other on the couch whispering back and forth only loud enough for you two to hear and you would giggle and his laugh would boom off the walls, but as soon as someone walked in you two would stop almost instantly, but when they left it would start again.

Slowly Bucky became more comfortable around others, not just you. It started when he was training in the gym and he and Nat started to spar with one another, that made Steve happy, Nat was one of his other close friends he wanted Bucky to get along with like you. You didn’t go to the gym ever and that was even an understatement, you didn’t need to train that wasn't your area of expertise, you controlled the elements, including anything to do with nature. When you were feeling too overwhelmed your emotions could show outside, when you were with Bucky it was always sunny out, when you got worried when Steve was on a mission it would be a gloomy day. You sometimes didn’t even realize you were doing it and as soon as you did you would turn it off, it was one of the reasons you were so reserved because you felt vulnerable that people would just know how you were feeling sometimes. That wasn’t all you could do, when you found out Bucky loved Plums you grew him his own Plum tree outside in seconds he was in awe of you. You felt butterflies in your stomach and that day there also just so happened to but a swarm of butterflies hanging around the tree, you were thankful Bucky didn’t catch on to why.

When Bucky and you went on missions together after they were complete he couldn’t stop telling you how amazing you were, and you couldn’t help yourself from falling in love with him each time that he did. On your days off you would hang out in his room or yours, and would just lay in bed with one another talking about everything, he became your person and you hoped you were his. Your favourite memory was this one time you were sitting directly beside his body while he was lying down, you were holding his metal hand with both of your hands, you started to run your hand over it making small flowers grow on it, you felt Bucky's eyes on you “You make everything beautiful don't you doll?” he sat up, using his free arm he plucked a flower from his metal arm twirling it in between his fingers “Who woulda thought?” he laughed, reaching over, placing it behind your ear. That was the first of many moments you two had like that, and you were in heaven, you smiled more, you were in love. You always wondered if Bucky felt the same, he experienced the same moments you had together because he helped create them but that didn’t mean he felt the same way.

—

You were eating cereal at the table when Steve came over. “Hey y/n, first time I've seen you alone in'' Steve pretended to count his fingers, “in forever!”

You looked up at him “ha ha, very funny”

Steve sat down across from you, pouring himself some cereal “Where is Bucky anyway? Thought you guys were inseparable?” He smirked.

“He’s training with Nat” Steve gave you a knowing look, he knew you never set foot in the gym and Bucky wasn’t going to change that a small silence fell over you, all you could hear was the crunching of cereal till Steve swallowed “He likes you, yknow”

“Well i'd hope so we are friends”

“That's not what I meant”

Before you could finish your conversation you could hear his laugh, followed by someone elses laugh, it made your ears perk up, you dont think you've ever heard him laugh with anyone but you or Steve, you felt a pain in your heart followed by a turning in the pit of your stomach, jealousy? You thought, couldn't be you were just friends and that's all you would ever be, you should be happy for him he was happy.

You put your bowl in the sink turning around to see Bucky entering the kitchen with Nat trailing behind him, she gave his shoulder a shove, and the smile on his face was your favourite smile.

“Ain't that just the best sound!” You heard Sam shout from behind, Bucky and Nat stopped in there tracks to turn around to see where the voice was coming from, Sam took the opportunity to through each arm over their shoulder “Laughter is the best sound”

Bucky scoffed, shoving Sam's arm off of him, Sam laughed “And just like that he's back to normal” Steve laughed with him.

Bucky made his way to you “Hey doll” you gave him a smile “Train well?”

He opened the fridge grabbing a bottle of water chugging it “With Nat? Always” You gave him a smile before he walked away to sit with everyone else, you don't know why but the way he said it made your stomach uneasy, you could feel self doubt swirling in your mind, before you let it get the best of you and let it affect the weather giving away how you felt, you left the kitchen in a hurry and for the first time in forever no one was trailing behind you.

—

Slowly Bucky was with you less, he still would make an effort, he considered you his best friend he told you once and he knew you prefered to be alone, so he didn’t push you as much as you wish he did to come hang out with everyone when they would go out for drinks, or to eat. You would just sit at the compound in your room by yourself, letting your mind race with thoughts you didn’t dare talk about. The thing is you were always like this, from what you could remember at least you were? but you knew Bucky wasn't, so when he started to get more comfortable he started opening up more to everyone, taking a step ahead of you mentally, leaving you in the dust behind and you were so happy for him, or so you told yourself.

The first time Bucky, Sam, Steve and Nat were going out and he didn’t stop by to invite you like he always did, when Steve asked if he was going to as they were passing your door, you stood there and heard Bucky pause before saying “No point” you could feel him shrug his shoulders before Nat and Sam laughed, then there footsteps retreated. Your heart broke, that was when you knew he was giving up on you. You tried to convince yourself it was okay, you were okay, you were better off alone anyway it didn't matter, you didn't matter.

Things like that started to happen more frequently, slowly losing Bucky that is. When he entered a room he didn't always greet you anymore, he would just smile and nod your way, till he just didn't acknowledge you at all. He stopped calling you doll, the pet name he used but instead he would call you by your first name, it was so foreign to you that the first time he said your name you didn't even answer till he was standing in front of you waving his metal arm in front of your face you felt embarrassed, everyone started to laugh, you apologized before giving him the papers he needed for the rest of his mission report and left the room almost immediately. It wasn't his fault, you didn’t blame him for retreating away from you, it wasn't his fault he wasn't the same damaged soldier he was and you were never going to change, everyone tried to get you out of your shell at some point but they just slowly gave up, you didn't mind, you weren't worth all the effort and you knew that.

You spent most of the time from there on out in your room, you didn't want to bother anyone, you started to feel like Hydra was right you didn't belong anywhere and locked up in the glass box back at their old facility was probably the best place, did the avengers really and i mean really need you? They were more than capable before you, so they would be after too. You let your thoughts ponder while you laid in the bath, you let your head become fully submerged, you could still breathe underwater, this was one of your favourite things to do, it was so peaceful under there, no one could get to you. You wondered if you held your breath under the water would it be like above where you couldn’t breath like a normal person? Before you knew it you weren’t sure how much time had passed you started to see little black dots and for some reason you still hadn't let the breath go.

—

Everyone was in the kitchen having dinner, Tony spoke up “When was the last time y/n ate with us?” He questioned out loud.

Everyone looked up before Bruce responded “When was the last time she even left her room?”

This had everyone's attention especially Bucky and Steves. Bucky couldn’t remember the last time you spoke to him or when you two last hung out, he tried his best to get you out of your bubble like you did for him, he wanted to take you out and show you off to the world but he knew how it felt to be forced into that before being ready, he just hoped it would have been sooner rather than later, he missed you but he got the message after so many “No Bucky, its okay im fine here, you go ahead” it broke his heart not to see you but he stopped when he went to your door one day and before he could even knock FRIDAY was informing him you didn’t want to see anyone that day, and he thought he wasn't just anyone to you, he thought he was someone to you, he thought you two were falling in love with one another, or at least he was with you. So he pushed back his feelings, burying them deep down like he was use to and let you go, hoping that the saying Steve told him when he was comforting him that you would come back to him and if it was meant to be because he didn't know what to do if it wasn't but that was weeks ago and he was losing hope.

Bucky was broken out of his thoughts when it started storming outside, everyone’s attention snapped to the window “There's no chance Thor is supposed to stop by is there?” Steve asked

“No” everyone murmured, it wasn't unusual for the weather to drastically changed at the compound, everyone got use to it when you started learning how to control your powers but it only stormed when you were experiencing emotions too deeply, this worried everyone.

Tony stood up “I'm gonna go check on the kid” as he made his way to the kitchen door and as he pushed it open water was making its way down the hallway, trickling like it would on a window “Please tell me someone left the front door open” Everyone's eyes turned to the hallway, Steve and Bucky stood up at the same time “Y/n!” they shouted before they pushed passed everyone running to your room, Tony was behind alerting the A.I to get medical on standby. When they got to your door it was locked, not just via the A.I system but manually too, Bucky used his metal arm to punch your door down, water was everywhere and all the plants in your room were dying.

—

You don't remember how long you were under water for or when things started to fade away but you felt like you were floating and you felt happiness, at peace was the best way to describe it, your memories flashed before your eyes, happy ones, most of them of Bucky, a few of Steve before your accepted the darkness, you heard banging and shouting before letting the darkness take you.

Part two

[keimisan]

Which tr fics are your favourite so far?

well, if you're talking about fics, there are no tokrev fics so far. there are only blurbs, drabbles, scenarios, oneshots and headcanons. i haven't seen a proper full-fledged fic here except for three from @everafterkeiji. (I searched on ao3 too but i don't have any that i want to recommend from there)

1. @tokyo-fukushu : basically, all of their writing is a masterpiece. once you start binging on them, there's no end. also, a heavy angst writer, prepare some tissues, it's going to be a ride. I'll list some of my favorites:

scenario/drabbles/blurbs: a life for a life, consequences, is it me in your eyes?, sacrifices, the two sides, little miss perfect 1, 2, hold on for me (3), the comfort a kiss gives, a place to grow, I.F.H.Y

There's a ton shit more but I'll end up listing their entire masterlist, so we stop here.

2. @everafterkeiji: the first-ever tr blog i followed here.

fics: now or never

hcs: haitani's little sister, bumping into them

reactions: love language, barking at catcallers, hearing loss

drabbles: flowers and kittens, downpour, birthdays

3. @angrysupremacy: honestly can't list, just scroll on their blog it's amazing T.T. but since I have to (I haven't read all their works),

hcs: shy s/o, tsundere s/o, first kiss

4. @sukunasbabymama : alright now, hear me out, what I'm about to link below is the funniest thing you can possibly find here. this made me crack up at 3 am and honestly, a fucking masterpiece. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS.

if you haven't read this, i suggest you stop and go read right now cuz if not, you're missing something huge.

absolute crack: Their friend is a mom, part 1, part 2, part 3

5. @dragondraken: I've only read one thing and it's one of my absolute favorites.

ten things he would never tell you: mikey

6. @chif4yu : i won't list anything because pls read everything there. its tr text au's and it's T.T *happy crying noises*

7. @himenoshideout :

hcs: tr boys as kpop group: tokyo manji, ran rindou as boyfriend

imagines(?): A Little Birdie Told me, Kiss It and Make It Better, The Field Medic, I’ll Be There, Everything You Need Me To Be

8. @misschifuyu :

scenarios: 7 minutes in heaven part1, part2, temporary, planned from the start, gloomy weather(mitsuya)

hcs: confessing to his crush hcs (mikey), getting his hair styled by this s/o(mitsuya)

9. @jyugosgf : my fingers will hurt ngl, they have too much content T-T. i really can't even if i have to, just binge through their entire masterlist please.

10. @lazysublimeengineer:

you bring color to my monochrome world: this is a work of art

honorable mentions: (in my reading list) @leijirou @inuewpi @z-zel (online classes lmao) @chifuyusfingers

i probably couldn't fit all my favorites in, so if you're a tr-writer and you see this, you're a part of this too T.T. I'm new into this fandom so this list would've been longer had you asked me a few months later.

Also, you can follow my side account @keimisanside where I reblog posts. And also, a few blogs that reblog fics, @honieshares

[chasingpj]

𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐇𝐨𝐦𝐞

"Bye, for now, puddles."

pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader

words: 6,220

warnings: a little angst, missing a meal, death of a parent, i believe that is all.

timeline: post sea of monsters

if you want to be tagged every time I update this story, click here

a/n: hi hi! I'm so excited to finally get this chapter to you guys. I'm sorry this literally took a month. i was taking two writing-intensive courses this summer and i was just burnt out. i hope you enjoy it!

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four Part Five Part Six Part Seven Part Eight Part Nine Part Ten

A grunt escapes you; your contorted body weighs down the top of your suitcase as your damp fingers slip off the metal zipper. The unforgivingly humid weather provokes the heat of your efforts, adding to your discomfort. There’s urgency in your fingers, your frustration growing at each failed attempt to close your suitcase.

“Y/n! Hurry up!” Atticus shouts from outside of the Hermes cabin. As the zipper slips out of your grasp once again, you throw your head back in annoyance, hand coming up to push away wisps of hair that fall on your face. A familiar chuckle comes from the corner of the room, grabbing your attention from the wooden ceiling. Connor sits on the side of his bed; his comic book forgotten beside him as you fussing over your suitcase seems to be more interesting to him.

“It’s not funny,” you grumble, sitting onto your heels.

Connor rises from his bed, shrugging his shoulders with a smirk. He kneels by your suitcase, “It’s kinda funny.”

The corners of your mouth almost curve up, but you stop yourself, opting for a roll of your eyes instead.

“What the hades do you have in here?” The tips of his fingers turn white as he pulls on the little piece of metal. You shift your weight to the corner he works on, but it helps him as much as it helped you earlier.

“My brother’s left a bunch of books behind, so Lou Ellen and I split them up. She’s taking half, and I take the rest. We’ll study them and then exchange notes.” A hum of acknowledgment comes from Connor’s lips as he inches the suitcase closed.

“You guys are a bunch of nerds.” You squint at the other with a playful offense, and he laughs at your hardened features. “I bet you guys study more than the Athena Kids,” he teases.

“There’s a lot to learn,” you say simply, watching as he brings the zipper to the end. He leans back on his heels, and you move to take in the half-empty cabin.

The sight of the Hermes cabin being this tidy was foreign. There aren’t any sleeping bags on the floor; the belongings of your many cabin mates didn’t clutter the walls or the corners of the room as they usually do. It’s funny. There are always complaints of the cabin being too small, but it appears bigger without the mess.

“Will you and Atticus visit throughout the year?” Connor’s expression is hopeful. As the last day of camp approached, Connor’s wishes of a full cabin all year round became more apparent. The shift from a max-capacity cabin to a half-empty one must be a tough transition for social people like Stoll Brothers. If it were you, you’d be counting down the days of everyone’s departure.

You ruffle his brown locks, “we’ll probably stop by for, maybe, spring break?” Connor’s hopefulness begins to sag, and you frown. Spring break is pretty far from now, huh? “Depending on how mortal life treats us. You know, we might be back soon,” you add on quickly, hoping to lift his smile.

Though you wish to go home, you’re dreading all the supernatural activity you’ll have to deal with once you leave. Your father works tirelessly to protect the house, but entities always manage to get in. And if they can’t, they don’t mind hanging outside.

The hopefulness that faded from Connor’s face restores, and he gives you that famous mischievous smirk. “Well, I hope the ghosts bother you guys enough to come to visit early.” His tone is playful, but you can tell he meant some of his words. You laugh hesitantly and nod, rising from your suitcase.

“I’m glad you’re that eager to see us again.”

You thank him as he leans down, lifting the heavy suitcase from the ground for you.

“Y/n!”

“I’m coming!” You tug on the handle, glancing at Connor. “The year will go by fast, and soon this cabin will be bursting at the nails with new unclaimed people. Atticus, Lou, and I included. Anyways, you have your brother. You guys will find something to entertain yourselves.” You nudge him as you make your way outside.

“Yeah, you’re right. You will write to me, yeah?” Connor asks.

“Of course. I’ll send you snacks that you can’t buy at the gas station.” Connor’s arm pumps back to his side, hand in a fist as he hisses a “yes.”

The corners up your mouth hesitantly pull up as you push open the cabin door, finding Atticus and Travis talking on the porch. For the past week, the anticipation of your departure was killing you, but now that it was time to leave, you feel gloomy.

You knew the cause of your heavy heart was the uneasy tone of your going. Living day by day with the intention of moving on was hard. Because every time you look at their newly occupied beds, the sinking feeling in your chest returns. Every time you find yourself wandering in the forest, the memories of your often chaotic magic lessons flood your mind. You remember when Alice misaimed her wind spell, shooting Alabaster far into the trees. While you all rushed to check on him, Alice burst into tears because she was convinced she killed him only to approach a laughing Alabaster who shouted, “Right on!”

Every time you were in the Arts and Crafts center, you remember how you, Sage, and Lou would do Tarot Readings for the campers and how you would argue with the Apollo kids when they insisted your tarot cards are as honest as fortune cookies.

At the armory, you remember how Ambrose ran into James so hard, he stumbled and knocked down half of the shelves of weapons.

In the courtyard, you remember how Ernest, horrified by heights, produced the highest pitch scream he possibly could as he rode a pegasus for the first time under the persuasion of Alabaster.

All these memories, whether hilarious like your spell mishaps or bittersweet like when you and your sibling’s group hugged around Sage when she cried about her abusive stepmother, held a special place in your heart. Because the times where you laughed and cried together reminded you of the genuine bond, the family that was ripped away from you overnight.

“We'll see you guys soon. We should go. Argus will leave without us," Atticus says, relieved that Argus is still waiting for you on top of Half-Blood Hill.

“Have a safe trip, guys,” Travis says, patting Atticus’s shoulder before reaching out his arm and giving you a short side hug. You grab your things, hastily saying a final goodbye, and soon, you and Atticus are trudging up the hill.

Your free hand pats the pocket of your shorts, calming your worry of forgetting the necklace at the cabin. What rests in your pocket is a raw tourmaline crystal, now smooth with the help of Beckendorf, encased in a silver spiral cage.

You and Atticus carry protection crystals all the time, and they help with staying out of the radar of monsters and entities. After hearing Percy’s many stories of monsters bothering him, you figured he couldn’t be too cautious. Then after finding a spell in Alabaster’s many books that can dim down a demigod scent for a while, you decided to make him an enchanted necklace to wear.

You pack into the truck with Atticus right on time. Atticus sits in front of you, chatting away with Cecil as you make yourself comfortable in the back row with Ambrose. You frown; among the three other campers in the van with you, Percy isn’t one of them. Argus peeks into the back, doing a rough headcount. Great, now you’ll have to wait until next summer to give it to him.

Right, when you were going to chastise yourself for not giving him the necklace yesterday when you were done with it, a distant voice shouts, "wait!"

Argus halts in the middle of closing the sliding down and turns around. He shakes his head with disapproval while opening the door all the way, revealing out of breath Percy.

A smile widens across your face as he gets into the back seat with you, and you nudge Atticus’s seat.

"See, I told you we wouldn't be the last ones here.” You side-eye Percy, seeing the corners of his mouth pull up in amusement.

“Some people just don’t know how to get to places on time, huh?” Atticus says, and his eyes flicker to Percy before giving you a wide grin.

“Didn’t sleep in today, firefly?” There is a playfulness in Percy’s voice, and you smile proudly,

“Nope, not today.”

“It’s a miracle,” Percy mutters, loud enough for you to hear, and you scoff. Atticus snickers and nods in agreement.

“We were supposed to gang up on him, not you two on me.” You stick your tongue out at Atticus, and he returns the action.

“It’s more fun making fun of you,” Atticus teases.

“Rude,” you mumble with a slight smile on your face. The two boys chuckle, Atticus turning more into his seat to tell Percy something about a new Marvel movie. Excited voices fill the van as the other boys join in the conversation, and soon they are debating if Batman is really a superhero or just a rich guy in a suit.

You had to admit, as the conversation became more passionate, you were pretty entertained, but as you catch sight of Camp Half-Blood growing farther in the distance, you’re reminded of the ache in your chest. It’s only a temporary leave, but when you return, things will never be the same, and the false hope of your siblings returning has been proven to be foolish.

☆’.･.･:★:･.･.’☆

Following a ghost dog while weaving through the hustle and bustle of Grand Central is almost impossible. Atticus’s hand is latched to the straps of your bookbag as you move through people, trying not to roll your eyes at the way Ambrose turns to bark as if he was reprimanding you for being too slow. Easy for him to say when he can walk through walls and people.

“Track 28,” Atticus reminds you as your eyes find the number written on the tan bricks of the high walls. You make a sharp left towards the entrance of another hallway, ignoring the groans of a grouchy bystander that you may have cut off. The next hallway you enter is a lot less crowded than the main floor, and you slow down your pace.

“Where do you guys live again?” Percy asks as he jogs up beside you. He had insisted on walking you guys since his train departs in the same station.

“Sleepy Hollow.” Percy scrunches his face as if he recalls something, and you smile, waiting for the question everyone asks when you say you live there.

“Have you seen the headless horsemen?” Percy asks, half-joking. A snort leaves your throat, and you look at Atticus, who’s equally amused.

“Oh yeah, plenty of times.”

“Really?” Percy asks, his eyes wide with surprise, and you laugh.

“No.” Your response makes his face drop comedically fast, and Atticus bursts into laughter. “It’s just a story, but there’s a lot of history there, so the place is crawling with ghosts. We’ve met the guy who wrote the story, though,” you mention.

“No way,” Percy squints his eyes in disbelief.

“I’m serious! Atticus and I take walks in the cemetery sometimes. We leave drachmas on the graves of newly passed people, so their venture into the underworld is smooth, but some people like to wander.” You shrug. “Washington Irving is one of those people.”

“Cool,” Percy says with such enthusiasm that it makes you smile. Ambrose turns around and barks again, standing at the golden entrance that leads to the grey tunnel lit with fluorescent white lights where your train waits beside the concrete platform.

“He always rushes us,” Atticus complains, and Harvey lets out a coo that sounded close to a groan as if he agreed with him.

The marble floors turn to concrete as you enter the tunnel. The blue and silver train on your left hums as it sits dormant in its station. Ambrose trots ahead, peaking into the doors and windows to find an empty cart to occupy.

As you follow a few feet behind him, your fingers fiddle with the necklace resting in your pocket. You’re regretting not giving it to Percy earlier because, for some reason, the idea of giving it to him now was more intimidating than if you had done it earlier on the bus.

Ambrose decides on a cart, and Harvey jumps off Atticus’s shoulder, squealing happily as he follows the hound while completely ignoring a worried Atticus trailing close behind.

"I, uh, made this for you," you sputter, the words coming out fast like vomit. Your fingers pull out the crystal necklace abruptly, and you put it in the palm of his hand. "It's black tourmaline. It has protective qualities; good at keeping negative energy, negative auras, things like that. I put a spell on it to dim down your demigod scent for a while, so you catch a little bit of a break. It'll last for a few weeks, maybe a month or two if the spell caught on well."

You bite your lip as Percy studies the necklace resting in his hand. "Wow, really? Thank you, Y/n. This is great.”

Nervous, you shift on your feet under his bright, smiling orbs. "It's no problem. After everything that happened at camp, I think it’ll be good for you to have one.”

Percy nods, his features softening all of a sudden, and he shifts. “Thanks for protecting me,” he says, and you feel heat rush to your cheeks. “Getting rid of that thing became more than you expected. I felt bad that I couldn’t help. Swords aren’t really useful when it comes to demons, huh?”

A small laugh of agreement leaves your lips. “It was nothing. I wasn’t going to let you be tormented by that thing if I could help it.”

An announcement echoes in the hall, reporting the departure of your train in a few minutes. You glance over, catching Atticus, Ambrose, and Harvey with their noses practically pressed against the window as they witness your interaction with Percy. The amused smirk on Atticus’s face makes you roll your eyes; he’s definitely going to tease you when you get on the train.

"I should go.” You face Percy again, catching him securing the necklace around his neck. The stone rests a few inches under his camp half-blood necklace. "Thanks for walking us here. Be careful getting home."

"You too…” he trails off, noticing your brother looking out the window. For a second, he seems as embarrassed as you do and a nervous chuckle leaves his lips. “Your brother is waiting."

“He’s so annoying,” you complain, and Percy’s next chuckle doesn’t sound as hesitant this time. "Well, uh, bye, for now, puddles,” you tease, butterflies dancing in your stomach.

"Bye, for now, firefly."

You both awkwardly wave at each other before you turn around, getting on the train with Atticus. With your gaze fixed on the floor, you plop into the seat next to him. You don’t even need to look to know he is smiling teasingly at you.

"How cute,” he teases, nudging your shoulder repeatedly with his own.

"Ew, shut up.” You shove at his shoulder, your nose scrunching as he flails his arms against yours as if you were fighting. Atticus chuckles and a string of sounds come from your familiars as they join in to tease you, and you couldn’t help but laugh too.

☆’.･.･:★:･.･.’☆

The suburban streets of your neighborhood are filled with the chirps of birds and bugs and the sounds of cars that pass every once in a while. There isn’t much conversation between you and Atticus as you trudge up the hill leading to your dead-end street.

“Gods, I hope we can get inside without being seen,” you manage to say through your heavy breaths, lazily holding on to the handle of your suitcase as it rolls behind you. Ambrose’s nose nudges the back of your knees as if to encourage you, but it’s more cute than helpful.

“There’s no way that we are. Janie and Celia are always sitting on the neighbor’s porch.” You grunt in acknowledgment, knowing that Atticus is right. The neighborhood ghosts are friendly enough, but their company can be annoying.

As if on cue, you hear a delighted squeal from ahead the moment you reach the top of the hill. Two ladies wave their handkerchiefs in the air a handful of houses away.

Celia, the tallest of the two, wears a steel blue dress with a high neckline and a big bow tied on the base of her neck. She has a jacket button closed over her corset with a frill at the end of her sleeves. Her skirt is floor-length and complete, with ruffles cascading down its entirety. And, of course, no one can miss the high-crowned hat decorated with fake flowers, bows, and crimped fabric as it all sits on top of her blonde hair in an intricate updo. Janie, her sister, wears the same style of dress and headpiece only in a burgundy red. The resemblance between the two makes it clear that they’re siblings close in age. They have the same high pinched noses that jut in the air; both of their faces are regal like those in renaissance paintings.

You’ve seen them around for as long as you can remember. They were two sisters who died of scarlet fever a year before their first courting season, which was a big deal according to their constant moaning and groaning about it.

You look ahead, your expression blank as if their high-pitched voices didn’t fill the streets and they weren't racing toward you with their skirts in their hands.

“My word! It’s the end of summer already?”

“Atticus, you’ve grown taller!”

“What a handsome boy! Y/n, your shorts are too short, don’t you think?”

“It’s quite bizarre how such clothing is acceptable these days.”

“How beautiful you’d look in a gown like ours!”

“Where’s Alabaster?” Janie asks, attempting to circle her arm around Atticus’s, but he raises his arm to push back his damp hair to avoid the contact. She scoffs at his rejection and sighs.

“Alabaster was sweeter to us than you guys!” Celia pouts. Your heart sinks a little at the mention of him. Of course, they’d ask about him, and of course, your father will ask too.

Gods! Your father will ask about him.

You had forgotten you’d have to break the news today. These past few weeks, you debated whether or not you should do it by letter, but it felt wrong. It was only right that he’d find out in person.

“We know you can hear us,” Janie huffs.

“I hope dad doesn’t work late tonight. Do you think Grandma will be waiting for us?” You ask. As annoying as it was having spirits follow you, it was a little fun ignoring them when convenient for you. Atticus nods,

“Probably-”

“No one’s home,” Celia cuts in, and Atticus pretends to shoo a bug away to conceal that he paused from her interruption.

“But I don’t think dad is going to take long. He said his last lecture ended at three,” Atticus continues, and you nod.

‘I hope grandma came by to visit. I missed her.”

“I just said no one’s home.” Celia snaps, and you press your lips together to hide your smile.

Atticus sighs. “I know, I’m dying for those moon cookies she makes us.” At the mention of those cookies, your stomach grumbles. You hope Celia was wrong because you’re suddenly craving your grandmother’s cooking and her company. Her funny stories and voice that’s always a little too loud for the indoors never fails to cheer you up. As short and frail as she is, her voice and personality could fill a room.

“Me too,” you say shortly.

“Hello?!” Celia waves her handkerchief in your face, and you persisted in ignoring her. Suddenly, a sound of disgust comes from Janie as she brushes off her skirt.

“Y/n, retrieve this monster of yours!” She squeals as Ambrose bites the fabric of her dress, tugging on it with a growl.

“Damn this dog,” Celia shouts, attempting to shoo him away, but yelps in surprise as Ambrose snaps his jaw shut near her hand. “Get this thing under control! Y/n!”

Your hand comes up to cover your smile even though the two are shuffling behind you and a stifled chuckle comes from Atticus. The sound of Janie’s heels on the concrete becomes louder as she rushes beside Atticus again, and your smiles drop. The sight of your house comes into view, and you tilt your head confused; your father’s car is parked in the driveway.

“You said no one was home?” You say out loud, and Celia gasps beside you,

“Now you speak to me?” She snaps, halting as you approach the fence. She stands tall, hands folded in front of her elegantly as Janie’s expression is gleaming like a child on Christmas. “Your father requested to keep it a secret, so I obliged his wishes. He canceled his last lecture today to make you both a meal. What a lovely man.”

Your hand finds the latch for the white picket fence as you smile at the familiar narrow victorian-style house ahead of you. A path of cobblestone leads you to the brick steps of the small porch.

Your home sticks out from the more modern American houses that surround the area. It’s an antique, a snippet of history, as your father likes to say. The house is a russet brown only because the bricks are so old they’ve darkened in color. The house accents such as the window trims, porch overhang, and columns are copper, and the hipped roof has brown tiles that look like fish scales. Beside the porch, the bay windows from both stories stack on top of each other, and above the porch roof is the dormer that’s a part of your bedroom.

Gods, you’re yearning to be in your room. You just want to pull out your Murphy bed from the wall and bury yourself in your sheets. The idea of being in bed puts a pep in your step, and you are careful to avoid the salt ring that surrounds your house.

A butterfly passes by your face, flying to the bunchberry bushes your father has planted in the front garden. Among the grass, there are various flowers and herbs that your father grows in the summer. You’ve inherited many things from your father, but his green thumb isn’t one of them. He takes his gardening seriously while you can barely keep the cacti in your room alive.

“Enjoy your meal! Come talk to us one of these days. We missed you two!” Janie shouts after you as you make your way up the stairs. You turn around, Atticus smiling at them.

“We missed you, girls, too,” he says as if he didn’t want to admit it. Janie squeals something about how handsome his smile is, and you scoff, amused as you grab the doorknob.

Once you push the door open, you're hit with a rush of deja vu. The history channel plays faintly in the next room as you take in the home you’ve missed dearly.

There are two bookshelves against the wall on your right, a wide ledge with pillows under the bay windows. A messy coffee table filled with letters and stacked with books sits in front of the comfy reading nook, letting you know that your father was recently hanging out there.

There is a brown mahogany staircase that ascends upstairs to your left, and right beside it is the altar for your mother. A statue of her rests in the middle of the rectangle table covered in a black table cloth. On top of it lies the many offerings for your mom. Herb-dressed candles burn beside bowls of fruit, bouquets, a crystal enamel wine glass filled with alcohol, feathers, and other things. You ignore the altar as you put down your stuff beside the door, following Atticus as he takes off his shoes.

“Kids?” You hear your father call enthusiastically from beyond the foyer, and you persist forward into the entryway ahead of you.

“We’re home!” Atticus announces as he enters beside you. Ambrose barks making a beeline to the right and behind the kitchen counter. He jumps on your father with so much force he stumbles back.

“Gods! Why does he look even bigger?” Your father exclaims through a laugh, fixing the round glasses that threaten to slip off his nose as his other hand grips Ambrose’s paw. He yelps in surprise as Harvey's claws rest on top of his head, clinging to his hair to steady himself.

The warmth and smell of home fill your senses as you catch your dad’s gaze. “Well, come here! Are you going to hug your pops or what?”

You rush over with Atticus. Both of you hug your dad tightly on either side of him, and you smile as he presses a kiss on your temples. “I missed you guys so much!”

“We missed you too!” The smile on your face falters as he looks up, scanning the archway as if he was waiting for someone else. You shift, not ready to be faced with the question, and you peer around his body to look at the food on the stove behind him.

Your father notices your interest, and he chuckles. “Come on, let’s eat. You guys came right on time.”

You shuffle through the kitchen with Atticus, making your way to the rounded table at the end of the kitchen.

“Dad, what have you been up to?” Atticus asks teasingly, and your father perks up.

“I've done a lot of things to keep me busy. I volunteered to teach summer classes while you were gone. I’m reading this book with a fascinating perspective of the shift from Paganism to Christianity in Rome. It’s an amazing read; I highly recommend it. Though, I don’t quite agree with it.” Your father hums thoughtfully. “Oh! And I bought gnomes for our garden! And the thrift store had this little house and this old lady figurine! I put it on the porch. I don’t know if you’ve seen it, but she’s the official guard of the door," he declares proudly. "And…” He twists and turns before heading to the bookshelves in the living room area. He grabs something from the shelf then he showcases a cartoon Dobby bobblehead with wide arms. A high-pitched cackle leaves his lips. “It completes our collection!”

“Woah! Where did you get it? We went to three different places for it, and we couldn’t find it.” Atticus matches your father’s excitement, and you snort at the two.

“I went to a mythology convention in Boston a few weeks ago. There was a game stop across the street from the center, and I thought, ‘why not?’ I went in, and I saw this little guy by the register.” Your father is giddy as he nudges the head and watches it jiggle in his hands.

You think of what your grandmother’s reaction would be if she saw all the things he bought on his trip to the thrift store. She’d definitely complain. She always said that even growing up, your father had a liking for knickknacks. On your shelves and counters, there are always little trinkets lying around. It even extends to the walls, a variety of paintings and diagrams are neatly hung beside each other. From the state of your house, it’s clear your father is a maximalist in its purest definition.

“Wow! That’s awesome!” Atticus reaches out his hand for it as your father brings over his entire collection of Harry Potter bobbleheads, the toys huddled in his chest before he places them on the dining table. “The whole gang can hang out with us for dinner.”

“I hope they like pasta,” Atticus comments, lining them up as your dad retrieves the pan of food.

Your stomach grumbles at the sight, and you’re quick to serve yourself as Atticus and your Dad talk about anything and everything. You guys discuss what your grandmother has been up to, how your father’s classes were going, which led your father to ramble so much he formed a tangent on top of another. The conversation was going so well that you were sure he wouldn’t ask about your summer, but you had assumed too soon.

“So enough about me! How was Camp?” Your father chirps, and you shift in your seat.

You smile with confidence to hide the wariness you felt. “It was great!” You figured if you keep your answer short, you could move past it quickly.

“Yeah, the usual. Fun as always,” Atticus adds.

Your father’s eyes flicker between the two of you, and the first thing he notices is the way your smiles don’t reach the rest of your face.

The clanging of metal utensils on glass plates fills the room as the both of you fixate on your food but neither take a bite. The camp was never a touchy subject. The sudden unwillingness to speak about it makes his eyebrow cock up in suspicion. His eye averts to the empty dining chair beside you and the dinner place settings that remained untouched. Alabaster was supposed to join your return home. At least, that’s what he had assumed.

“Did Alabaster decide to stay at his foster home?” There’s caution in his tone, and he’s taken aback at how both you and Atticus tense up. The clings of metal halt abruptly, and slowly, you move to glance at your father.

“Dad, something happened at camp this summer.” Now, it was your turn to have a tone laced with caution. Alabaster lived with you for months and quickly became a part of the family. Your father saw him as his second son, and you were afraid to break the news that he may never see him again.

“What happened? Did he get into trouble?” You frown at the sudden edge in his voice. Atticus shifts beside you,

“He took the others to go fight for the Titan Lord.”

“What?”

“Mother came to speak to him and told him that it was best to fight for the other side since their chances are better,” you say slowly. “They left at the end of July. Only Atticus, Lou Ellen, and I stayed at camp.”

Your father’s expression darkens, grief written all over his face. “And you haven’t seen them since?”

You shake your head, not wanting to delve into the details. “I don’t think we’ll be seeing them again in a while and not in the best circumstances.” Your father nods, understanding the implication in your words. “Mother promised that she’d take care of them if they fight for the other side. I didn’t want to go; it wasn’t right.”

“That must be why everything is rotting,” your father mutters more to himself. You furrow your eyebrows.

“Rotting? What’s rotting?”

“Our offerings to your mother,” he clarifies. “All the fruit I leave on her altar goes bad in a few days. The flowers wither quickly too. The garden, in general, hasn’t been doing well either. I didn’t understand why.”

Your focus returns to your plate. Suddenly, you weren’t that hungry anymore.

She must be angry, you think to yourself. A part of you wanted a sign from her to let you know if she was bothered you didn’t join. When the sign didn’t come, you assumed she didn’t care; that, in a way, you were dead to her. It didn’t dawn on you to ask how the altar or the garden your father dedicated to her was doing.

“Can I be excused?” You strain, your face a little hot, and you’re not sure if it was from your anger or from the tears you’re blinking away.

“Of course.” The warm smile on your father’s face fails to budge the dread you’re feeling. “You can be excused as well, Atticus.”

You miss the way your father and Atticus exchange looks as you stood up. There wasn’t a verbal agreement, but Atticus stands up tall, determined to make you feel better. He trails behind you, and suddenly, he slings his arm across your shoulders. “You know what’s one of the things I missed at camp?”

“What?” You ask, trying to ignore the heavy feeling in your chest.

“Beating you at Tekken,” Atticus teases. Your lips curve slightly; his playful nature manages to brighten up your mood a little bit. “Let’s play. I’ll go easy on you, but I’m sure you’ll still lose regardless.”

“You’re on,” you nudge him, and Atticus chuckles, walking ahead of you and up the stairs. Your hand grips the railing, and you walk up a few steps before halting, and your eyes find the front door.

“You don’t get it!”

“I don’t.” You shrugged, amused at the way Atticus’s eyebrows knitted in disbelief. He ignored you, grabbed the remote, and played the Star Wars movie again. You groaned, seeing the slanted letters move up the TV screen. “Atticus! I can’t watch this!”

“Why not?!”

“Well, first off, my dyslexia won’t let me read that quickly, and if a physically written prologue is needed before a movie… it’s not a good movie!”

“How dare you!” You threw your head back as a laugh bubbled in your throat. The exasperated look on his face was too funny. You had no desire to watch these movies, and you figured if you bothered him enough, he’d give up trying to show them to you. The shrug of your shoulders made him scoff. “Just watch it!”

A huff left your lips, and unwillingly, you returned your gaze to the screen. Suddenly, a hollow knock came from the front door.

“It’s late,” you said, but Atticus was too caught up in the beginning battle of the movie to pay any mind to you. Rarely did you get visitors, definitely not past midnight on a Friday. Cautiously, you rose from the couch and moved toward the door.

Rain erratically hit against your curtain-covered windows; the wind and cold made the walls around you creak as they adjusted. Whatever waited for you at the door, you just wished it was a person, not a weird ghost or monster. Your finger latched on the side of the curtain, allowing you to peek through the glass of your front door.

A gasp left your lips. Alabaster, soaked from the ruthless rain outside, was the last person you expected to see. But even though you didn’t expect him, you had an inkling as to why he was here.

Hastily, you unlocked the door and flung it open. “Al?” You sputtered; his green orbs were surrounded by tired eyes and puffy skin.

“He died this morning,” he strained. Your expression softened, and before you could say anything, Alabaster stepped forward and hugged your shoulders tightly. The raggedness of his breath, the shutter of his body, sent your chest a weight of sorrow. You couldn’t imagine being in his shoes and losing your father to a long battle with cancer at 14. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes; the person you looked up to the most was breaking down. You never thought he would need your help for anything, but it seems that you were wrong. “I’m sorry. You guys live the closest to me, and I didn’t know where to go-”

“It’s okay,” you interrupted. “Oh, Al, I’m so sorry,” your voice cracked, hands rubbed his back as a sob left his lips. A creak of a floorboard caught your attention, and you turned to see a confused Atticus emerging from the living room. With a sad look, he understood what happened, and soon his expression was mimicking yours.

“I’ll wake dad and get clothes,” he said, then rushed upstairs.

Your father didn’t even hesitate to help Alabaster, opening the doors of your house to him. In his greatest time of need, the three of you stood beside him, and overnight, he had a place in your home and in your heart. The three of you spent so much time playing video games, getting into trouble around town, learning magic. All the good times you and Atticus shared with him, were they really worth throwing away to fight with Kronos? You realize now that his departure was never only a betrayal to the camp but to you, Atticus, and your father, and you couldn’t help but think perhaps, you guys didn’t mean as much to him as he meant to you.

A shaky sigh leaves your mouth at the thoughts persistent to ruin your mood. The desire to leave camp was to avoid all the things that reminded you of your siblings, but now that you returned home, you realize that running away isn’t as easy as you thought.

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if your username is bolded that means i can’t tag you ! you probably have your visibility settings on!

[serenityseventeen]

Wonwoo (전원우):

-----------------

“Love and Hatred: Weaknesses”

synopsis: Your boyfriend, Wonwoo, thinks that you're cheating on him after he sees you make out with his friend, and breaks up with you. However he doesn't know that you were taken advantage of until your friend tells him.

genre: angst & kinda fluff

pairing: boyfriend!wonwoo x female!reader

warnings: includes mentions of taking advantage of another person (sexually), strong language

a/n: I didn't really know how to end this one, plus, love really is confusing to write... + Wonwoo's curly hair, I'm sorry I took you for granted, please come back soon D= + YESTERDAY'S LIVE WAS SO FUN when Woozi just became the 'karoake owner' lol just a regular day in the life of Hoshi, singing karaoke and creating rap in autotune. I know I shouldn't be this happy when the story ahead is so DARK & GLOOMY like today's weather.

-----------------

You walked up to Wonwoo's dorm door.

You didn't want to show up but he wasn't answering any of your calls or messages and it gave you no choice. Silent treatment from him wasn't unusual but this time it didn't feel like it'd go away with time.

You knocked on the door.

Your heart beat nervously as you waited for the door to open. You clenched your fists. You just didn't know what was wrong or why he was upset.

The door clicked and opened.

Wonwoo stepped out and closed the door right away. He looked around before taking your arm, dragging you somewhere. You wanted to say something but the way he was firmly gripping your hand made you leave your mouth shut. His cold poker face looked even colder.

Wonwoo took you to the underground parking lot.

“What are you doing here?” Wonwoo asked, his voice was serious and almost annoyed.

“You were ignoring my texts and calls,” you replied, looking into his eyes fiercely. “What am I supposed to do if I want to see you?”

“See me?” Wonwoo scoffed. At that moment, he looked like a great villain in a movie. “Why would you want to see me?”

You were confused. You felt your nails digging into your palm as you clenched your hands into fists.

“You're my boyfriend and you have been avoiding me. Of course I'd want to see you. I want you to tell me what's wrong, so we can talk it out.”

“Do I really need to explain what you did?” His eyes were sharp like a knife and that look of disgust he had on his face shot through you like an arrow.

“Yes.”

Wonwoo looked away from your hands. He placed his hands on his hips and wet his lips as he turned away from you.

“It's so disgusting that I don't want to mention it. Let's just break up.” He said sharply, turning back to face you.

You felt the hope and your heart inside you shatter into a million pieces. You clenched your chest, feeling the infuriating tears crawl up your throat and eyes. He really seemed like such a jerk for no reason. “How can you say that so easily?”

“How can I? Can't you see how fucked up it is? How can I stay with you at this point?” When he cursed and stared at you, his eyes were more piercing than ever. In his eyes held some lingering love, but what you could see was mainly hatred.

“Tell me what happened! Does it have to do with the party last night?” You asked, your voice becoming shaky. “I know you left early but I don't remember much.”

The night before, there was a party to celebrate Wonwoo's birthday. You prepared it for him and were waiting for him to get to the party. However, that was all you could remember. The next time you awoke, the party was still going on and it was nearly 3am.

“Don't think that you can cry your way out of this one. Don't even try to lie anymore. Your tears were always my largest weak point, but knowing you now, I can say I don't have anything to be afraid of.” Wonwoo said, his voice was so cold. “Do you know what it's like?”

You covered your face with your hands, especially your mouth to try and hold in the cries that were going to escape your mouth any second.

“I've never been cheated on before so you're my first experience with that.”

The memories came to you like wildfire when you recalled the past night.

You got drunk.

And one of his friends took advantage of you.

While you were in your vulnerable state, the guy kissed your neck and tried to make his way around your body.

That was what you could remember.

You took your hand from your mouth, tears rolling from your cheeks. You reached for his arm, but he jerked away.

“I didn't cheat on you!” You finally blurted, your voice so painful for even yourself to hear. “I was drunk last night! I don't even know why or when I drank, but yesterday, I was very out of it!”

“Does that make it right?” He asked. His eyes were teary but you weren't even sure because seeing him became hard due to the tears.

You collapsed to the ground, your knees simply too weak. “No, it's not right… but I would never do that to you. I love you. I love you so much, babe. I didn't do it because I wanted to…” You looked up at him. “I know that something inside of me must've kicked in! I didn't cheat on you!”

“How am I supposed to believe you!?” Wonwoo replied.

“Why do you believe I cheated on you!? I would never do that to you!!”

“I saw it with my own two eyes when I stepped into MY birthday party! You two were making out on the couch so I just left!! I let you two continue your hook up and that was probably what you wanted, right? With your hands around his shoulders like that!?”

You pressed your lips together but they were trembling too much from your tears.

“I don't remember anything, so I guess that disadvantages me. Making out with another man is still cheating after all!” You shouted, your voice so painful even for you to hear.

Wonwoo just stepped away. He looked up, trying to suppress the anger and sadness that was building in his eyes. He didn't want to believe it either, but it was the only thing he could believe when everyone else at the party told him that you went onto his friend first.

You finally brought yourself back to your feet. “Fine, I was wrong. I was wrong for being taken advantage of! I was wrong and I should be dumped by my boyfriend!!!” You shouted.

“Shut it,” Wonwoo said sharply. He ran his fingers through his hair, knowing his hot tears might flow any second. “I don't want to make a ruckus here. Just leave.”

“Jeon Wonwoo!!” You shouted desperately, tugging at your boyfriend's arm, with tears in your eyes.

“I'm the one who should be angry!” Wonwoo shouted back, yanking his arm from you. “Don't come to me again. Don't see me again. If you do, you'll just seem desperate. We're done.”

He walked away just in time as a tear fell from his left eye.

You fell to the ground, crying out.

Your phone vibrated as you got a notification.

WONWOO'S FRIEND: want to meet up for dinner & finish what we couldn't yesterday?

You didn't even want to look at your phone. It felt like you were a glass doll that had just been broken. Every piece. Now, you were just a person in incomplete pieces.

Wonwoo clenched his fists, throwing his back against the wall and sliding down to the floor. He didn't want anyone to see him cry. It was so hard to let go of someone he loved. It was the only right thing. He couldn't hold on to a cheater and he knew that.

- [a day later]

Your phone went missing because you had been drinking way too much. Sometimes you just wished that you could go to a bar and relieve all of your pain, but you couldn't do that. You just couldn't bring yourself to do it.

So here you were again. With your phone probably broken somewhere in the streets, you were sitting on a table outside with shot glasses and a bottle of alcohol, trying to get drunk. All you could think of was Wonwoo and the night of his birthday.

You squeezed your eyes shut, screaming and banging on the table. You couldn't remember what happened at all and it was frustrating.

All you could remember was Wonwoo's harsh, insensitive, bloody words. They made you feel as if you did sleep with his friend, but with your terrible memory, you couldn't even remember if you did. Tears stung your eyes again as you took another shot glass.

Wonwoo was wandering the streets alone, limping a little and feeling the bruises on his face. He left out a groan of pain as his fingers brushed his mouth, trying to wipe off the blood.

His knuckles were also bloody.

“Your friend forced Y/N to drink,” he remembered your friend telling him earlier that day. “He took advantage of her and wanted to do it with her. I think she was too drunk to defend herself at the time so I took her away.”

“What?” At that time, Wonwoo couldn't believe what he was hearing. Those hurtful words he said made him feel guilty immediately.

“Don't be too mad at Y/N. She's been on a drinking spree since she told me you two broke up. Now she won't even pick up my calls or reply to me.” Your friend had continued to inform Wonwoo. “I think she's broken over the fact that she can't recall the events of that night and the fact that you broke up with her.”

“Why didn't you say sooner?”

“I told her over text but she won't reply or even look at the message.”

Wonwoo ruffled his hair, frustrated.

He went to his friend's house and the first thing he did when his friend opened the door was punch the shit out of him. Thankfully, his other friends were there to stop him before he committed murder.

Now all Wonwoo was hoping to do was find you in one of the streets that you two used to walk on.

That's when he heard a muffled scream coming from a convenience store nearby. The place was empty and a familiar girl was sitting outside the place.

Wonwoo smiled softly before making his way to you.

You heard the footsteps and slight dragging of a foot and turned to look. He was walking like a zombie, holding his stomach and dragging a leg, which made you scared and screamed.

He laughed to himself. When you heard that laugh, you immediately snapped back to your senses.

He sat down in front of you.

There was an umbrella attached to the table, enough to shield both of your heads.

You straightened your posture and looked at him, noticing the blood at the corners of his lips, his bloody knuckles, and a possible bruise on his cheek.

“I'm not even drunk yet,” you said, feeling the tears drip again. “Why are you here?”

You kicked the table and accidentally kicked his leg.

“Ow,” he said quietly. “That hurts.”

You didn't believe that was actually Wonwoo but at the same time, you did. He seemed a bit pitiful, just like you. It seemed like both of you had been miserable.

“Should you be drinking that much?” He asked. His voice was soft and deeply calming.

You looked away, wiped your tears, and tried your best to hold in the rest of the tears that were building in your eyes.

“Leave. I don't want to see you.” You said as coldly as you can. Yet, it just made you seem cowardly.

“This will be the only time you see me then, is that fine?”

No, it wasn't fine.

“Yeah. Leave. Do you think I'll forgive you for saying all that stuff to me?”

“Is this how it'll end?” he asked, chuckling wryly. He looked down at the ground instead of looking at you.

“Yes.”

“So you know what happened?”

“No.”

“Then why?”

“Because I can't forgive your words.”

‘I can forgive your words.’ you contradicted.

“You didn't cheat on me. My friend took advantage of you as you said.” He sounded guilty but not because he was wrong, instead because it was genuine. He was genuinely sorry for his words.

He turned to look at you again. You could see the love in his eyes, the hatred wasn't even lingering.

“What if I told you that I hate you?” You said suddenly, your voice softening without you even knowing it.

Maybe it was because he was your weakness. A little touch from him could make you tremble, a little bit of softness in his words can make you forgive him.

“Do you hate me?” he asked, looking at you in the eyes. His eyes were still so beautiful but looking at his scratched-up face made your heart ache.

“No.”

He smiled preciously.

“I'm really sorry.” He said, his soft voice continuing to weaken you. “I'm sorry. I can repeat that a hundred times, write it... I'm just sorry for saying all of those things when you had to go through something that for others, is so traumatizing.”

You just stared at him.

The rain started hitting down on the umbrella attached to your table.

“Will you hate me?” Wonwoo asked.

You leaned in, over the table, and kissed him.

Everything was hard to explain.

But that was the point of love, wasn't it?

Hate someone without hating them, be confused over if you still love someone, the feeling itself is confusing.

Even if love was hard, your lips locking with each other made that feeling definite.

The rain fell harder, the pitter-patter drowning out every noise.

----------------

-serenityseventeen

[toastedside]

In Health

Batmom!Reader x Batfamily

Warning: Angst, Angry Tim Drake

Note: I knoooooow it's been a while since I wrote this series and I actually have finished it a while ago. Just figure I want to share the rest. Enjoy!

Masterlist, Previous Chapter

You bit the inside of your cheeks, your eyes travelled constantly to the watch on your wrist. The iced coffee you ordered fifteen minutes ago already half gone. Metropolis was bright and sunny that day, the weather was warm and nice. A welcomed contrast to gloomy Gotham with its perpetual cloud.

The coffee shop Lois had told you about was buzzed with hungry patrons, considering it was almost lunchtime anyway. It was a breath of relief that nobody would recognize you on the first glance, something you had learned fairly quickly since Bruce had publicly claimed you years ago. If you went somewhere with shirts and jeans and nothing shiny, nobody would recognize you that you are Y/N Wayne.

You glanced into your watch again for the millionth time that day. Was the request to meet up too much for them? Were you too harsh on them back in the days? It’s unusual for–

“Hey, oh my god, we’re so sorry. Our meeting last longer than we expected.”

Lois suddenly came into frame. Behind her was a slightly disheveled Clark, eyeing her behind his glasses hesitantly. Something sank at the bottom of you stomach by the sight alone, perhaps you were indeed way too harsh on him.

“It’s alright, I didn’t wait that long anyway,” you mustered a white lie as you gestured them to take a seat across yours. “How’s Jon doing? I miss him coming over on the weekend.”

“He is fine. Clark and I bought him a video game console on his birthday and all he’s been doing was glued his eyes on the TV,” Lois rolled her eyes fondly at the topic of her own son, something you've been doing for years since you are a mother too. “How are the kids?”

“I figure Jon had been talking about his video games with Damian. He asked me if he could buy one just yesterday,” you laughed. “The kids are fine, per usual. Dick and Jason had been a little busy with their job, so they usually only come over on the weekend. Damian tried to woo me into adopt another pet again last week, Cass been practicing ballet a lot lately, and Tim... well... it’s been a little tough for him to fill Bruce’s shoes in the company but he’s doing well so far.”

There was a little shift in the air after you finished. Lois subtly adjusted her seat, silently sent a look towards her husband who looked a little too nervous to be comfortable. It would be funny to see Superman himself squirmed on his seat if the reason behind it didn’t left a bitter aftertaste.

“Lunch?” you swiftly opened the menu book to dissipate the growing tension and gently shoved it into Clark’s lap. “It’s on me.”

The lunch was surprisingly normal and calm, the thought of the dreading event was swept away underneath the nonexistent rug. Lois had been talking about the newest article she was writing about and Clark was obviously waltzed around carefully to not touching the superhero business, and you played your best to ignore it.

“Lois, Clark,” you started as everyone finally finished their lunch and the empty plates were taken away. “I am here to apologize for what I have done... three months ago. And what I might have said.”

There was silence hung in the air as Lois and Clark shared a look together. It was Lois who immediately reached for your hand and gently squeezed it. “Hon, you have nothing to apologize for. We understand, you were–”

“It was still rude and uncalled for, and my circumstance was a mere explanation. Especially to you, Clark,” you rolled your shoulders slightly to face Clark better, eyes fell into the balled fist on his lap. “You were only trying to explain, but I shut you out. I know you lost your best friend too that night and I am so sorry I didn’t try to reach you out sooner.”

“Y/N, it’s–”

“No, no, it’s not.” you breathed shakily. You had prepared your best for this inevitable conversation, but still unaware how painful it could be. “Bruce wouldn’t want me to act that way.”

Silence now had fallen completely and the air had shifted drastically. The only thing that grounded you from withering away and succumb into your own thought was Lois’s thumb gently stroking your wrist. Clark was stunned silent on his seat, the gears on his mind worked twice harder than it usually did in past three months. Nothing had prepared him for this conversation.

“Y/N, I forgive you. I already had long ago. I understand completely, and I would probably act worse if I were in your shoes,” Clark breathed out. All the tension in his shoulders that hinder him in the last forty-five minutes had dissipated into the thin air.

“Thank you,” you lifted your eyes to meet his. Sometimes you forgot how unnaturally blue his eyes were, cold and calculating, even though the corner of his eyes and the smile lines soften it out. It almost reminded you with Bruce. “Can you... can you tell me what happened that night? You were there with him, didn’t you?”

Lois and Clark shared another look, something told you that both knew what you didn’t. “Are you sure you want to hear this now?”

“I need my closure, Clark. And I’d love to know which son of a bitch that take my husband away.”

Clark told you everything in vivid details, the hairs on your shoulders stood in dread by the explanation alone. He talked about the League mission, the warehouse, and the explosion that had killed Bruce and suspected blown his body into unrecognizable tiny bits. By the time he was finished, you were close to tears, and was pleasantly surprised you didn’t weep your heart outs right away in a public place.

“One question,” you wiped the stubborn tears that started to well on your eyes. You mustered a silent thank you as Clark offered his handkerchief. “Was Red Robin there? Was Red Robin called for backup?”

“I can’t remember. What about him?”

You took a sharp breath, the image of Tim weeping on your lap and repeating his apology played inside your mind like a broken movie. “He obsessively investigating his death, saying it was his fault it happened in the first place.”

Lois tighten her grip on your hand and squeezed harder. It wasn’t a secret that your son was bad at letting go and coping with loss, but it had been a huge toll to knew he blamed himself for it. Clark sent you an apologetic look, and you were surprised that you didn’t dread the look.

“It wasn’t his fault. It was supposed to be an easy investigation, an in-and-out mission. Nobody could come prepared for the explosion,” Clark reassured you, although it was addressed more to Tim instead of you. “The machines...”

A sudden rang from Clark’s phone interrupted his words. He watched it rang briefly before let out a dreading, long sigh. “I’m so sorry, but I really need to take this.”

You smiled reassuringly. “Go on.”

Turns out, Lois and Clark had been called for another meeting and had to cut their meeting short. Lois had hugged you tight and drop a promise to come over by weekend for dinner. Clark left a lingering touch on your wrist, his eyes widen as if he had come into a realization he hadn’t before, but he left before he able to muster any single words.

The ride back to Gotham was long and tedious. The traffic had made the trip an hour and half longer than it was necessary, but the sunset at the horizon was a sight for sore eyes. The chance to catch a beautiful sunset was close to zero in Gotham, so you preserved the moment as much as you could. A little part of your soul wished Bruce could witness such sight with you.

You arrived right before dinnertime, the manor was surprisingly quiet, spared for some noises Alfred made in the kitchen as he prepared for dinner. One thing about Wayne household was silent wasn’t a good thing, and one should be suspicious if it happened.

“Where are the others? It’s eerily quiet.” your head popped up in the kitchen. “Alfred, it smells delicious. Are you making Shepherd’s pie again?”

“Miss Y/N, I would really appreciate it if you didn’t surprise me like that anymore,” Alfred deadpanned. “Yes, I am. How was your meeting?”

“It went well. I... I finally get the explanation I deserved,” you sat across the kitchen island, your bag fell into the floor as you did. “Thank you for convincing me into reaching out to him.”

Alfred pressed his lips together into a pleased smile. “You have found your closure, I assumed?”

“I don’t know about that, Alfred,” you admitted. “But it was great to finally know what happened and not left in the dark. Maybe it was a good step for me.”

“I believe so, Miss Y/N.”

“Are those teas for the kids?” you shifted the topic away into a tray full of teacups and biscuits. “Where are they?”

“All of them are cramped together in Batcave, I believe. Master Damian had asked me to brought them some teas.”

“Let me take it to them. You can continue bake your Shepherd’s Pie again.”

Alfred was hesitant, but he nodded away and shoved the tray into your embrace. It had been long overdue for you to step back into the Batcave anyway, figured this would be a great time for you to go back.

You forgot how much you hated the perpetual coldness the Batcave seemed to persistently have, no matter how many efforts everyone had put years ago into make this place warmer and comfortable. The sound of your children bickering with each other filled the cave and it made you smile, for all of its worth, you had always admired your children’s tendency to find things to argue about.

It was until the sound of fist slammed against the table that stopped you in your track and wiped away your smile.

“Stop it, Timbers, stop this fucking bullshit!” Jason’s voice roared, followed with the ear-ripping screeches of bats that had been awoken from their slumber by his roaring voice alone.

“I am telling you the truth!” Tim said heatedly, which was alarming. You quickly hid yourself in the shadows between the costume displays, finding yourself a better spot to watched your children without being known. “Why can’t you believe me?”

“Look at me in the eye and tell me that was not a fucking bullshit!”

“Tim, bud, come on. You need to stop. This isn’t healthy,” Dick’s concerned voice chimed in between the heated stares Jason and Tim exchanged. Your heart sank from that words alone, Tim must had investigating again. “You have us. We can get through this together. But not like this.”

“TT. Drake, you have started to creep me out,” Damian’s equally concerned voice, albeit masked with his usual scowl and sarcasm, piped in. “Also, you look like you hadn’t sleep since you were born.”

“Thanks for the flattery. But listen–”

“Stop it. Stop. Shut your mouth!” Jason yelled again. His finger intimidatingly pointed towards Tim, his eyes filled with rage and frustration. “Have you heard yourself talking?”

“Won’t you all give me a fucking minute to explain myself?” Tim stood from his chair; his fist crumpled together into a ball clenched on his side. It was such an eerie sight to see him so worked up like this. “Cass?”

You saw Cass silently shook her head. She sent Tim an apologetic smile as Tim groaned in frustration.

“Why none of you would just listen to me?”

“Tim, there is no way in hell Bruce is still alive!”

The roar that came from Dick was eerie, but it was his words that split your world into half. You didn’t realize the tray had slipped from your grasp until it clashed with cold floor, your gasp was masked with the loud clang of the tray hitting the floor and the sound of teacups shattered into pieces. All eyes followed towards the sound, and all were surprised to spot their mother was there.

You saw from the corner of your eyes that Dick walked towards you. His shoulders were tensed, his eyebrows furrowed together in frustration and anger. But your eyes fell on Tim whose eyes widen in horror upon realizing that your unknown presence was lurking all these times. You could mentally see the guilt that slowly seeped through his initial shock, the blue in his eyes waver slightly with the swirling guilt. You walked towards Tim, and from the look on his face alone, you wondered if you looked as if you were about to swallow him whole.

“Mom...” Tim croaked.

“Mom, it’s alright. It was nothing.”

“Ma, let’s go upstairs. It’s dinnertime, you never like it when we–”

“Tim.” The firmness on your voice effectively silence your two oldest sons out. Your hands gently placed on Tim’s shoulders as you shut your eyes and counted from one to ten. “Tell me everything.”

“W-what?”

“Tell me everything you know. Tell. Me. Everything.”

“Mom, I don’t think you should see it.”

“He was my husband, Tim. I deserve to know.”

Tim pressed his lips together, his eyes travelled up slowly before he let out a sigh. “Just tell me to stop when it gets too much.”

[shackermanwrites]

Next Time

Summary: "Did you know, when clouds are unhappy, they will cry their heart out that’s why there are rains? But the sky would laugh at them that’s why there are thunders, isn’t funny?" 

You loved and chased him for four years but you suddenly stopped on the last year of senior year. Levi didn't know why, but now he knows.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Fem!Reader 

Warnings & Content: Death, Angst

Word Count:  2507

The wind dances swiftly through the air as soon as Levi stepped out of his car, he looked up to the dull, gloomy sky that seems to be pouring rain any minute from now.

He remembers how you told him how you felt the joy when it is raining, how you felt relaxed and calm as the tiny droplets of rain land on your skin. He couldn’t possibly forget the first day you talked to him, the weather was the same as today.

How could he forget that exact moment? You looked ethereal when the two of you first met.

He remembers everything.

-

The joy and excitement on your face as you entered your classroom was painted on your face, it was your first day of junior year. You're excited yet nervous to start your first day of high school since you will see new faces, and you get to experience a unique environment for you.

You carefully scan the room as you try to think about where you should sit for the rest of the year, you could sit on the first row and be that student who aces their classes, but you could also sit at the back of the class and make lots of friends while having fun for the rest of the year.

Yet your eyes land on the third-row seat, a boy who is sitting silently on his chair while looking over to the window with no expression painted on his face.

Slowly, your feet started walking towards him. You nervously grip on the strap of your bag when you stopped in front of him. He didn’t even glance at your side to acknowledge your presence.

“Hello,” you cheerfully greet him as soon as you sat on the chair beside him. The raven-haired boy didn’t bother to answer your greetings nor glance at you.

‘He must be having a bad day early this morning,’ you thought.

You placed your arm on the table of your seat and rested your chin on the palm of your hand as you looked at the sky he was looking at. You are invested in what the boy was looking at, yet you only found a dull sky and leaves swaying gracefully on the ground. You opened your mouth to engage in a conversation with him but thunder stopped you from doing so and that made the boy flinch from its sound.

‘Cute’ you thought.

A giggle escaped your mouth as you looked at him, this time, you were cut off not by a clap of thunder but by his beautiful steel gray eyes that match the shade of the sky. Your smile slowly fades as you get lost in how mesmerizing his eyes are as he looks at you with an annoyed look to hide the blush on his face.

“Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh at you it's just that- oh, I'm Elide by the way what's your name?”

“My name’s Levi.” He replied

You gave him the sweetest smile you could give that day, even if his face screams annoyance from your presence. Yes, you gave him your smile and your name that day, but why did you include your heart.

-

Ever since that day, you would always sit next to him in class and engage in small talks with him, he sometimes answers, but he mostly stayed quiet. You help him with history subject and sometimes buy snacks for him since he doesn’t leave the classroom that often during breaks. You consider him as a friend.

Your friendship with him lasted for a year, but eighth grade changed when you already acknowledged your feelings for him. You were just a child, a foolish child who was scared to have regrets so you confessed the feelings you have for him.

Eight grade year came fast and this is the year that you confessed to Levi. You told him how you felt for him, how his eyes made the butterflies in your stomach fly, and how you felt happy whenever you see him, especially when he smiles, even if you only saw it once.

Yet you did not get the answer you wished you had. Instead, he pushed you away with all his strength. Its not like you were hoping that he would return the feeling to you.

“Stay away from me from now on.” That is the only answer you got and the last word he said to you since then. You watched him as his back slowly vanish in front of your eyes, but he never saw the tears that run through your cheeks.

-

It's been four years since you confessed to Levi, and you're now in your senior year, only months left before you graduate and start college.

You were not alone in those four years, you became friends with Sasha, Connie and Jean, and you also saw Levi with his new friends Hange and Erwin. They don’t hate you as much as Levi did since they would smile at you when you pass by each other on the corridors, and you would often exchange hi and hello’s.

In those four years, you never stopped loving him, you didn’t give up on him, and it never crossed your mind even though he would always ignore you as if you don’t exist in his world.

Since that day, Levi never talked to you so you would constantly write letters for him and slid them in his locker. You would tell him how boring math and history class was, you would ask him how were his weekend and holidays. You would leave candies on his desk every morning, you never saw him eating it but you also didn’t saw him throw it. But he still didn’t acknowledge you, it's like he forgot you even exist.

It pains deeply you but you stopped writing letters to him in your last year of senior year. You stopped giving him candies and you stopped looking at him with admiration like you used to. You don’t want to put an end to this, but you know deep inside of your heart that you have to.

“Excuse me for asking, but you don’t buy those candies anymore for your loverboy there. Is everything okay? He didn’t do anything to you, right? Jean and Connie will beat his ass up if he did.” You looked at Sasha who is busy writing on his notebook while sipping on her orange juice.

The three of them had always been there for you, the moments and memories you have shared with them are the most precious thing you treasure wholeheartedly.

Sasha and Connie are the persons who can make you laugh till your lungs and stomach hurt as you gasp out for air and tears would form under your eyes. They are your serotonins in life as they act like your younger siblings. On the other hand, Jean is like an older brother to you, he is overly protective to all of you and he is the person you would talk to when you're down and sad.

You smiled at those memories and the feelings you treasure.

You shake your head and glance over to the boy quietly writing on his notebook while the two of his friends are currently having a conversation. The first boy that made your heart flutter, the boy who made you like tea since it is his favorite drink, the boy who has the most mesmerizing eyes you’ve seen and soft hair that you still feel on your fingertips. Levi.

A small smile was already curved on your lips just by looking at him, you didn’t notice, but Sasha, Connie, and jean did. They looked at each other, and sadness are visible in their eyes.

Levi subconsciously looks at your side and his eyes widened a little when he met yours, you were in pain when you once again saw those steel-gray eyes, those pinchable cheeks that he has and those lips. You gave him a soft smile before you started writing on your notebook once again.

“No, he didn’t do anything, I gave up since I'm tired of chasing.” You softly replied to Sasha.

Liar.

You never did.

-

Levi opened the door of his car so Hange and Jean can get out. Nothing has changed over the years, Levi and Hange are still friends, along with Erwin. They manage to get through college and find a stable job. Hange became a Chemistry professor at the university she went to in college. Erwin is now an accountant at a famous bank, Sasha is now a flight stewardess and Connie's a pilot, Jean’s now an architect, and Levi is now a medical technologist. They all have their lives put together. They are contented and in some terms happy.

Levi held the Bouquet tightly in his hands as they walk over to your spot. He is neatly dressed as you would expect from him, he's nervous.

Hange placed her hand on his shoulder, trying to calm Levi down.

The three of them are out of words, and they don’t know what to say.

“She never stopped loving you, you know, she never did and she never tried.” Jean softly muttered loud enough for the three of them to hear.

“She-“ Jean choked on his own words while he nervously pulls something out from his wallet before handing it to Levi.

Levi can't feel anything, hell he can’t even move an inch of his body as it became numb, but he still manages to grab the paper jean gave.

“It's for you.” Jean said before excusing himself to return to the car.

He can’t do this right now.

“I’ll… leave you for a moment, I’ll be back.” Hange softly said while gently rubbing Levi’s back before leaving.

Hange only knew you by your name, but she knows deep inside that you and her could get along very well. She only had one memory of you, it's when she tripped on the stairs and her science project got ruined, people started laughing at her instead of helping her, she swears at everyone in the hall that day except for you. You helped her that day pick up her project without hesitation and with a smile that never left your mouth. She knows you’re a good person.

“Brat,” Levi starts while looking at you with those same gray eyes. He never changed.

He slowly opens the letter you wrote for him with his shaky hands as he tries his very best to compose himself.

-

Dear Levi,

Hello Levi, it is me! I'm sure you know me because if you already forgot about me, then I'm going to be so sad, just kidding. Did you know, when clouds are unhappy, they will cry their heart out that’s why there are rains? But the sky would laugh at them that’s why there are thunders, isn’t funny? Do you remember the first time we have met Levi? The sky was laughing at the sky, and maybe it was even laughing at us. You know, that day, I told you that it might rain, but you said that have hope because it will not rain. I did hope and it still rained, its funny because nine years have already passed and I'm still hoping, I'm hoping for myself, for my friends and family and for you. I'm dying Levi, I have leukemia and I already stopped the medication since the last year of senior year but you gave me hope to live and to fight then. Your eyes did gave me hope. I want to live Levi, I wanted to stay but I know I can't anymore, but I did not regret every single thing that has happened to me since it is all my choice.

I never hated you for mistreating me in high school, I never did. In fact, I am thankful for you and I'm grateful that I met you. Existing is barely possible but living with you is a miracle. The candies that I gave you, you know that I was looking at you every morning watching if you would throw them didn’t you? So you didn’t throw then, not a single one. I was curious, but I never dared to ask yet I also don’t want to regret now that I didn’t asked the reason why but it doesn’t matter now. Thank you Levi for everything, I don’t regret anything, so I hope you also have no regrets from the past. But hey, live your life to the fullest, don’t worry, I got your back.

Oh, also, did I tell you that you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen? I hope you know how much I love your eyes but not as much as I love you Levi.

See you, Levi.

-With love

Levi’s chest tightens as his body becomes numb and his ears started ringing. He brings the letter you wrote on his chest before drops of tears started escaping his eyes.

Levi never hated you, he never did. In fact, he loved and adored you just as much as you did. You were the first person who dared to talk to him continuously for years, you were the only person who cared for him despite how hard he pushed you before and he hated himself that he did not have the chance to express how he cared for you.

The day you confessed, his stomach tightens and his heart pounds as if it wanted to leave his chest, he wanted to say that he felt the same way but he can't, he doesn’t know how so instead, he pushed you away into his life. He stopped talking to you, hoping that you will hate him and leave him alone but you never did.

He constantly pushed you out of his life while you constantly pull him in yours. The both of you were only hurting yet none of you noticed.

He did regret pushing you away constantly and that is when he starts telling himself that he doesn’t deserve you, he was so scared that he might break you if he tries to apologize for what he did to you.

He's now late as he looks down on your tomb. Your smile that brings comfort to him was already gone.

You were gone.

The sky slowly becomes gray once again before letting out thunder above him.

Was the sky laughing at him? At you? At the both of you?

Levi slowly kneels as he places the flowers on your tomb, lost of words as he stayed silent while tiny drops of rain started hitting his skin.

He immediately put your letter inside his wallet, scared that it might get wet from the rain, it’s the only thing that he had that reminds him of you.

He looks at the same dull sky the day you’ve met, only this time, the sky is crying along with him.

“I love you more, more than you know. See you.”

[rrickgrrimes8]

I loved Accident! Could you please do a part 2 where Y/N visits Tom in a dream and tells him "I'm okay, I loved you too, when it's your time I'll be waiting for you"

The Dream ~ Tom Holland

The Accident - Part 1

hey sorry for such a delay been in a real shit place and lost my reason to like writing but im kinda back now! 

i really liked this request and you know no shame in admitting a few tears dropped while writing this

warnings : death, funerals, just a whole lotta angst tiny eeny weeny bit of fluff, meanie tom at one point, just grief, maybe bad writing idk :/

click here for gif source

please let me know if you see any mistakes and/or any feedback thank you for reading, liking, commenting!!!!

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

The weather felt all too bright for this day. Tom thought that at least. The sun was shining, so much that he had to shield his eyes. Earlier your mum had mentioned that it was like you were looking down on them but Tom didn't buy that. You weren't there anymore. Gone. Because of him. Tom still held that guilt despite how he would imagine you would tell him off for it. It was just how he was processing - it wasn't healthy but it kept him going. It kept him alive because if even for a second he could admit that it wasn't his fault he would completely give up. Because not giving up would be some form of punishment for his crimes. 

Still wishing for gloomy weather to match his mood Tom cringed as he felt the pebbles click under his dress shoes. Harder, than he meant to he pushed the car door too. "You coming, mate?" Harrison called to him. Tom bit his lip and didn't say a word. "I know it's hard but you have to do this. For her." 

The man scoffed, "You have no idea how hard this is." 

Harrison shut his eyes, sighing softly, "Whether you like it or not, Tom, I knew her as well. I cared for her as well. You're not the only one hurting right now." 

He hated how he knew Harrison was right but still shook his head solemnly. And he hated how his brokenness didn't stop his next words to leave his chapped lips. "You didn't know shit. You don't get to compare what you're feeling to what I am! I loved her. Fuck. You barely knew her! You knew her because of me! Me, Harrison! And she's dead because of me!" The pair stopped for a moment, the only sound was Tom's heaving breathes. "So no you don't get to compare yourself to what I am going through. Don't even bother, mate." Tom marched away, barely leaving time for Harrison to process what his best friend had just said to him. 

"Christ Tommy. You are so fucked up," he heard from beside him as he sat down on the first row of black chairs. Immediately his eyes shut. That voice. It was so similar to yours yet the bitterness and grief it held would never even brush across your lips. 

"Y/s/n," He half-heartedly greeted. 

"Lovely to see you as well," She mumbled sitting beside him, "I saw your little show back there with your friend... what was it? ... Harrison right?" Tom clenched his jaw, "Sweet guy. Definitely didn't deserve what you just said to him." 

"You don't know anything," He retorted. 

Y/s/n slumped into the back of her chair, "Y/n would've hated this. All this... fuss." 

"I know." 

"But then again funerals aren't for the dead right? Who gives a shit what a dead girl would've wanted?" She exhaled her words carelessly, a small twinge in her eye told Tom that she didn't mean a word she was saying. 

Y/s/n grabbed Tom's hand, which lay dormant in his lap. On instinct, he attempted to flinch away from the gesture but y/s/n kept it secured in hers. "She fucking loved you, you know?" she paused seemingly reminiscing on something, "And I remember how it destroyed her when you dated that girl. Fuck if I can remember her name. B-but I remember getting a call from her when she first met her. God, she was mad. Absolutely fuming. I can't even remember why she was - she probably couldn't if you ask... asked her. Y/n swore to me that when - not if because she was damn sure - you broke it off with her she would ask you out." 

Still mesmerised by y/s/n's hand in his hand - yet another thing that felt eerily familiar but so different - Tom croaked, "Why are you telling me this?" 

Y/s/n just smiled, "Because she never did. She never asked you despite being so determined. She never asked you out because when you did break up with her you were so sad. And it felt wrong to do that to you then." 

"I wish she would've." 

She sighed sorrowfully, "No you don't because you couldn't have said yes then. You know that and she did as well. I'm glad she didn't do it that night but god do I wish she got to do it before she died." Sharply Tom inhaled, the word 'dead' never was something he could get used to when talking about you. "Because it was you two. You were it. You were that annoying couple and it pissed everyone off because you weren't even a couple. You were perfect together and I wish you could've shown the world that." 

"Me too," He whimpered, "Thank you, y/s/n." 

"Don't thank me, Thomas, just take care of yourself alright? She would kill me if I didn't make sure of that at least." 

Curtly, Tom nodded and y/s/n released his hand. The loss was noticed immediately and although from the start it felt wrong, he missed it. He missed the feeling of you in his hand even if it wasn't actually you. Y/s/n stood up, smiled softly at him and walked away. 

The ceremony passed so slowly. And although the cemetery was filled with the sound of the heartfelt voices of friends and family it was all white noise to Tom. He could feel the wind brush against his cheeks but he couldn't hear it. He could see your mother break down and your sister holding her up as they neared that stupid brown box but he couldn't hear it. The noise of the world had been set to zero and the reality of your death had finally set it. You really weren't coming back. 

Fuck. 

~

That night sleep did not come easy to the young adult. He tossed and turned and only found solace when he cuddled into his pillow like it could be any substitute for you. As a young boy, Thomas Holland was always ambitious and that carried through in his dreams. Tom had gone to the past and the future and about any place in Europe in his dreams. He had acted in everything he had ever wanted to. But his favourite thing about dreams was that he could tell you about them. Hell even sometimes you joined him in them - those were his favourites. 

Tonight was one of those. 

In the dream, Tom was on a trail, one that didn't look familiar to him but he wasn't unsettled by that. Tom felt safe as he continued through the woods. One of the first things he noticed was that he was still in his suit from today. And whether that was due to him forgetting to take it off when going to bed or that it was because you always complimented him when he wore it, which was to basically every event he went to. In fact, the pair of you used to joke that he'd get married in it - unbeknownst to you, he wished for you to be the bride in that future. Another thing he noticed was the flowing water nearby. He couldn't see it but it swam like music in his ears. 

"Tommy?" Tom heard from behind him. He turned back to face where he had just come from but the breath was caught in his throat when it all had changed. The trees were lit up with fairy light, an aisle had been drawn in the dirt and his and your family were occupying tree logs and stumps, Harrison and Y/s/n at opposing sides of a wide naturistic arch. 

But more importantly, you were there. As beautiful as ever you stood under the flower arch, head to toe in white. You had a smile on your face from what Tom could see through your vail. 

"Y/n," He beamed, rushing down the aisle. Tom pulled you in for a hug as soon as he got close enough, "God I missed you so much, y/n." 

"I missed you too, Holland," you chuckled, "Are you okay, bubs?" Forcefully you pulled back and looked at Tom's face. He had tears running down his cheeks and small sniffles escaped his nose. "Oh, Tommy what's wrong?" Tom couldn't speak. He wouldn't dare to trust his voice right now. "Talk to me, bubby." 

"I...I just don't want to l-lose you," He cried into your white dress. Instinctively your arms wrapped around him, holding him so close. "I love you, y/n. I love you so much and I never got to tell you," Tom broke down. 

"I know, Tommy, I'm sorry I had to leave you so soon. But I love you too and that's what matters. I'm okay and I loved you too and when it's your time I'll be waiting for you," You pulled back from him again, "But for now I'd love to do something I never got to do when I was alive but something I dreamt about doing every night." Teary you laughed as you got down on one knee, ignoring how dirt stained your pristine dress. "Thomas Stanley Holland, will you marry me?" 

Tom chuckled too as although you were ringless you held your hands like you had one. "Yes I would," He cried. 

Joyfully you sprung up and into his arms. Catching your attention Tom laughed once more, "What?" 

He gestured towards to congregation of your family, "You knew I was gonna say yes, huh? Already planned the whole ceremony and everything?" 

You tilted your head at him, "Well what can I say you're predictable, Holland." 

"Oh, really I am? Then how about marry me right now and live a life of predictability with me. What do you say?" 

"I would love to, Mr Holland," You teased. 

"Your wish is my command, Mrs Holland." 

From between the two of you, a man appeared he began a long speech as stereotypical as any wedding scene, "Do you Thomas Stanley Holland take Y/n y/m/n y/l/n as you lawfully wedded wife?" 

Your eyes met, "I do." 

"And do you Y/n y/m/n y/l/n take Thomas Stanley Holland as your lawfully wedded husband?" 

"I do." 

"I now pronounce you, man and wife," the kind-faced stranger smiled, "You may now kiss the bride." 

Cautiously Tom lifted the sheer material and uncovered your glowing features, "You're so beautiful, y/n." 

"Kiss me already, dork," you joked and began to lean in taking him by surprise. 

As your lips joined the crowd began to cheer throwing flowers into the skyline. The kiss was perfect. It was everything Tom would imagine kissing you would feel like. Your lips moved perfectly against his. He couldn't stop himself from smiling as your nose graced his cheek. 

Regretfully, he departed. "I don't want to go," He told you quietly. 

"I know, baby. But you still have a life to live," you closed your eyes and exhaled. 

"I have no life without you," Tom rebutted, "And you know that. I can't wake up and not be with you. So please don't make me." 

Tom's arms slide to your waist and your arms to his neck as you began to sway slightly. Music played softly in the background and the floor beneath you turned to wood. "You have a family, Tommy. You have a career, friends, you have another soulmate out there for you," you promised him grievously. 

"I don't want anyone else. Y/n, you're all I care about. You're all I want," despair adorned his features, "I can't be without you." 

"You have to be," You span before joining back in his arms, "I know you can. You're so strong, Tom." 

"I don't want to have to be strong. I just want you." 

"And you'll have me when your time is done," you swore, "As for now I'll be watching over you. I'll take care of you." 

Tom simpered dejectedly, "You promise, Mrs Holland?" 

"I promise, Mr Holland," She stepped away, "Now go back into the world and be everything I know you can.Take care of Harrison for me. I believe in you, Tommy." 

Tom jolted awake, shouting your name. Sweat poured down his body, making his skin glisten. "Tom?! Are you alright?" Harrison shouted as he rushed into the room. He relaxed as he laid eyes on his unharmed friend. 

"She was here, Haz," He wept. 

"Oh mate," Harrison sympathised as he wrapped his arms around him, "It's alright, Tom. You're okay." 

"She loved me, Haz," He told him, "And we got married." 

Harrison looked at him oddly yet still smiled, "I better had been invited." 

"You were," Tom wiped his eyes, "Best man." The two best friends smiled at each other. 

"What was it like, Tom? What was she wearing?" He urged him. 

"She looked beautiful, Haz, her dress was all lacey and shit. Her hair was just... perfect as usual. She just looked... flawless," Tom closed his eyes trying to remember every detail of you, "She told me she loved me and guess what?" 

Harrison laughed at his sudden excitement, "what?" 

"She proposed to me." 

"Sounds like her," He quipped, "Definitely sounds like you, not having the balls to do it." 

"Shove off," Tom playfully nudged his shoulder. 

"Alright. Alright sorry what else happened?" 

The eldest of the two sighed, "We danced and she told me that she believed in me. That it wasn't my time and she would be waiting for me when it was." Harrison didn't utter a word, "Said she would be watching over me till then, protecting me. Told me to look after you." Tom rubbed his face of his misery and swiped his tongue over his upper lip, "I don't want her to get lonely up there but I'll keep going for her." 

"Good," He replied, "I'm so proud of you mate." 

They smiled at each other again and both rested into the bedframe. "I miss her," Harrison admitted, shedding a few tears, "And you were right earlier. What I'm feeling doesn't compare but I just... I just miss her a lot. Before when I was making lunch, I didn't even think, I just shouted to her if she wanted a tea." He smiled, "And I know it's so stupid but I didn't think. Obviously, she didn't answer so I made her one anyways... I only realised when I got into the living room. I almost smashed her favourite cup when I realised. She would've killed me for that." 

"Yeah, she would've," Tom laughed before frowning delicately, "I'm sorry about what I said... I didn't mean it. You knew her, of course, you knew her. And I'm glad I have you because if I didn't I couldn't keep going. I love you so much, mate." 

He smiled through the tears, "I love you too, Tom." 

[argonavis-hcs]

hello! I would like to ask for hcs of gyroaxia boys with a fem s/o who is scared of darkness and thunders, thanks! ❤️

GYROAXIA with fem s/o Who is Afraid of Darkness and Thunder

Note: Hi! Thank you for requesting. I've never thought of this topic actually but i enjoyed writing it, it's pretty interesting to write. I'm really sorry if it doesn't reach your expectations, but regardless I hope you enjoy it ^^ (sorry some of them are long and short)

Pairings: Nayuta Asahi x fem!s/o, Kenta Satozuka x fem!s/o, Reon Misono x fem!s/o, Ryo Akebon x fem!s/o, Miyuki Sakaigawa x fem!s/o

Genre: angst(?) comfort(?)

The weather in Tokyo is getting colder and colder as the warmth of summer starts to fade, replaced by the cold weather and gloomy atmosphere. As much as people find it calming when it starts to rain, you could only find yourself surrounded by your fear on what's coming.

He doesn't know you are afraid of the dark and thunder. Most of his focus were mostly towards music but he does know you don't like to sleep in the dark. Yet he never question it since he barely sleep himself and you never told him anything about it. You don't want him to know because it'd be embarrassing to have a girlfriend who still have that fear like a 5 year old

Sometimes if you were outside and need to find a shelter as soon as possible, you'd beg Nayuta on the phone to let you crash at his place until the weather goes back to normal. It's not that you were planning to bother him or miss him, your mind was started to jumble up in fear that you couldn't think of anything other than escaping

Although he finds it suspicious when you do that, his response most of the time were, "Tch, whatever." Which is according to your Nayuta Vocabulary, it means a yes

He found you on the front door, panting after rushing to his place, "H-Hey, i won't be long, I just need to use the bathroom and I'll be gone before you know it." You said rather quickly as you go straight to hide there. Until he grabbed your wrist, "The hell is wrong with you?" He asked gruffly

You know better than lying to him in this situation, so you give him a short info on the situation. "Can I also borrow your headphone, please? I promise I won't bother you."

As you got your hands on the headphone and about to hide in his room, he said, "Don't go into my room!" You asked him why. "Tch, why do i need to explain that? Just stay in the living room while I turn the lights on. How troublesome."

Laying on the sofa with Nayuta across you and Nyankotarou make herself comfortable on top of you, listening to the tunes from your phone (probably listening to Nayuta's voice) as thunders strike Tokyo. In the midst of it, Nayuta said, "Don't bother me again." And return back to his work. If the situation wasn't like this, you'd give him a kiss to shut him up, but right now the safest choice to do would be staying quiet and admire him until the sun shines once more

He noticed it when you were on a date with him and there was a blackout after a big thunder strike on the place both of you were in

He doesn't find it weird or questionable, everyone has their own fear of something

Having to be the older brother in most situations, he would most likely being the more thoughtful one in the relationship

I feel like he prefer the relationship to be practical so he would appreciate it if you tell him straight up what's bothering you or he would simply ask what's going on and what he can do to help

If the situations got worse, he'd wrap his jacket around you, tells you to close your eyes, and hug you tight

"Close your eyes y/n, I'm here. Ignore the darkness." As his hand covers your ears, holding you close to him. The only comfortable sound you hear was his own heartbeat

Closing your eyes always does the trick, but it doesn't stop you from seeing the lightning strikes from the window and it terries you as much. All you could is hug him tighter as you feel your body starts quivering due to fear

"I'm sorry for asking you to go out now, I didn't know it would turned out like this. Please hold on a bit longer for me, y/n."

He's a bit slow on realizing your discomfort

(i still can't believe dude got confessions from girls in his school days yet he reject them all??? like????? Miyuki would slap him lol)

You grabbed his hand to get his attention, "Reon, can we go somewhere else? It looks like it's about to rain. See?" You hurriedly said as you point at the grey sky above

He'd be much more prefer if you say it to him upfront on what you want him to do and he'd gladly do it for you

Overal, he'd be very understanding and gentler

Will guitar solo to distract you from the thunder outside

Or he'd rant about Nayuta. You like to watch his expressions on his face when he's annoyed like that, you find it adorable

He would build a pillow fort with lights surrounding it even though his room was not that large. He is that persistent on making you happy, doesn't matter how much effort he has to do to put a smile on your face

Always prepared with snacks. Snacks are essential for Earthlings like you and fortunately he love snacks too

Sweets, candies, lollipops!

"Does y/n want to hear stories from my home planet?"

He would play his bass or teach you how to play bass to distract you

Or you would hug him from behind while he's strumming the instrument. Bathing yourself in his tune and his presence under the tiny lights inside the fort

"Thank you so much, Ryo." You mumbled from behind as you hug him tighter. You're glad he couldn't see your face right now or else he would tease the hell out of you

"Mmm~ The storm makes y/n unhappy, so I will do anything to make y/n happy again."

He has read every guidebook on how to attract treat women

You're in good hands, y/n

Suddenly turn into a gentleman

Would stop whatever he's doing to stay by your side

Jacket? Headphones to drown the sound? A shoulder to lean on? Miyuki comes in All in 1 package (this sounds funnier in my head)

But in all seriousness, he would do all those and wrap his arm around you. To remind you that you're not alone and the darkness can't harm you and the raging thunder outside can't touch you

Deep down he wished he could do more than what he could. But to you, him being present is more than enough favor as it is

You never thought he would be on this level of gentleman at first but you're glad you didn't judge him too early