#incorrect Stargate

[incorrectstargatesg1]

Jack: *gasps*

Daniel: "What?"

Jack: "What if soy milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish?"

Daniel: *inhales*

Sam, in another room with Teal'c: "Do you hear screeching?"

[badstargateimagines]

Inspired by this bit

[cobalt-knave]

Incorrect Stargate #3

Ba'al: Give me your pinkie. I'm gonna chop it off.

Jack: No! But thank you for asking.

Ba'al: Well, consent's important.

[mckaymccoy]

Hammond: Jack, if anyone can surf a wave on a black hole, it's you.

Jack: Ah, now you almost make it sound fun.

Jack: We pull this off, it's officially the Hammond Maneuver.

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: Father will come up with something.

Bruce: I will try, but despite what you all may think I am not Superman.

Jason: Was anyone seriously thinking that?

Tim: No.

Dick: Never.

[thegrandempressofinsomnia]

Daniel: how do you ask someone out?

Jack: well—

Sam: don’t listen to him. He waited 8 years and asked me out after my dad died and I almost married someone else.

Jack:…

Daniel:…

Daniel: but you said yes.

[anguishmacgyver]

(insp.)

[the-mushroom-faerie]

Vala, after getting injured on a mission : I don't think I can walk to the gate

Daniel : fine *effortlessly picks her up*

Vala : O_O how are you doing that

Daniel : oh please, you only weigh like... five encyclopedias

Vala : note to self, scholars are built different

[carsonsweebabyturtles]

SGA + Terry Pratchett

He’d faced trolls and dwarfs and dragons, but now he was having to meet an entirely new species. The rich.

― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

[incorrectstargatesg1]

Sam: "So that's the plan."

Jack: "Are you okay with constructive criticism? I don't want to sound mean."

Sam: "No, go ahead. I want to hear it."

Jack: "It fucking sucks."

Sam: "Not a constructive criticism, sir."

[ophilosoraptoro]

[cobalt-knave]

Incorrect Stargate SG-1 #2

Sam: As with most of life's problems, this one can be solved with a box of pure radiation.

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Gregory: Anthony will come up with a solution.

Anthony: I will try, but despite what you all may think, I am not Superman.

Eloise: Was anyone seriously thinking that?

Colin: No.

Benedict: Never.

[cosmicgiddiness]

Jack, exploring an apparently deserted planet: Is anybody here?

Teal'c: I am here, O'Neill.

Jack:

Jack: Thank you, Teal'c.

Jack: Is anybody else here?

[monapearlquo]

Jack: Today at 7am, Daniel poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die," and drank the whole thing.

Sam: I watched Daniel brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.

Teal'c: The survivability of the human race never ceases to amaze me.

[thegrandempressofinsomnia]

Jack, walking into the briefing room: Sorry I'm late... I was... *gestures at nothing* doing paperwork. *little grin*

Daniel: *raises the eyebrows of disbelief*

Sam: *looking puzzled*

Teal’c: *eyebrow*


* Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*


Maybourne, bursts in, out of breath: HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!