#incorrect stargate quotes

[anguishmacgyver]

(insp.)

[cosmicgiddiness]

Jack, exploring an apparently deserted planet: Is anybody here?

Teal'c: I am here, O'Neill.

Jack:

Jack: Thank you, Teal'c.

Jack: Is anybody else here?

[incorrectstargatesg1]

Sam: "Treat spiders the way you want to be treated."

Daniel: "Killed without hesitation."

Sam: "No."

[artistic-lightcycle]

Sam and Daniel talking over coffee:

Sam: So he told you you two could never get married because of the military even though you are a civilian and he's basically retired?

Daniel: yes, but I have a plan

Later

Daniel: God, I'd love to go fishing

Jack, bashing through the door: Marry me

[all-mighty-yaoiyuri]

Rodney is right!

In a way. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Wanna know more? Short fanfic Sucking Issues on AO3. (Some Humor, Slice of Life, Lollipops, Implied Relationship... Rated as mature but because of language / innuendos, no real smut)

[ravensg1]

this is canon btw Richard dean andrrson told me

[incorrectbatfam]

Damian: Father will come up with something.

Bruce: I will try, but despite what you all may think I am not Superman.

Jason: Was anyone seriously thinking that?

Tim: No.

Dick: Never.

[thegrandempressofinsomnia]

Daniel: how do you ask someone out?

Jack: well—

Sam: don’t listen to him. He waited 8 years and asked me out after my dad died and I almost married someone else.

Jack:…

Daniel:…

Daniel: but you said yes.

[the-mushroom-faerie]

Vala, after getting injured on a mission : I don't think I can walk to the gate

Daniel : fine *effortlessly picks her up*

Vala : O_O how are you doing that

Daniel : oh please, you only weigh like... five encyclopedias

Vala : note to self, scholars are built different

[ophilosoraptoro]

[anguishmacgyver]

(insp.)

[cosmicgiddiness]

Jack: Welcome to my first vlog, in which I will try Carter's hair products.

Jack: [spritzes hairspray into mouth]

Jack: Well, I can tell you right off the bat that this one is not very good.

[incorrectstargatesg1]

Teal'c: "We either die free, or die trying!"

Jack: "Are those the only choices?"

[incorrect-bridgerton-family]

Gregory: Anthony will come up with a solution.

Anthony: I will try, but despite what you all may think, I am not Superman.

Eloise: Was anyone seriously thinking that?

Colin: No.

Benedict: Never.

[monapearlquo]

Jack: Today at 7am, Daniel poured a Monster energy drink in his coffee, said "I'm going to die," and drank the whole thing.

Sam: I watched Daniel brew his coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think he ascended into the astral realm.

Teal'c: The survivability of the human race never ceases to amaze me.

[sun-ni-day]

Jack + Tumblr slang

from this brilliant ask exchange with @fighting-naturalist and @stardustandtwilight