#source: big bang theory

[the-black-bulls]

Zora: You know, I’ve lived here for over a year but I’ve never seen anyone play that dartboard against the wall.

Asta: Oh we played. Once.

Noelle: I broke a window.

Zora: What window?

Noelle: [points at a window on a completely opposite wall than that of the dartboard] That one.

Asta: I was standing there.

[daddiesdrarryy]

*7th Year Party*

Regulus: Okay, now this time, Potter, you’re going to lick the salt off my neck, do the shot, and then bite the lime, okay?

James: …

James: I’m sorry, I didn’t hear anything after lick

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Bruce: Can I have a bite of your food?

Natasha: Absolutely not!

Y/N: Wow. Some great couple. She won’t even share her food.

Natasha: It has avocado on it. He's allergic to avocado. Are you so jealous of our relationship that you want Bruce to die?

Y/N:

Y/N, murmuring: Yes.

[filmyocean]

Maddie (about Eddie): It’s sweet that you care so much about him

Buck: I do. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to him, and I wasn't at his bedside to say "I told you so"

[waterfire1848]

Angel: I’ve got a new game. It’s called Spear or Charlie. I give you real things I’ve heard Vaggie say and you have to tell me if she was talking to her spear or her girlfriend.

Charlie:

Vaggie: I don’t think I like this game.

[7ndipity]

(Y/n hugging Taehyung bc he was sad)

Namjoon, jealous: hey, I'm upset too, what about a hug for Joonie?

Y/n: aw sure! Tae, hug Namjoon

Namjoon:

Taehyung:

Taehyung: *tries to hug him*

Namjoon: dont-

[harringroveera]

AU where Steve is totally jealous of Heather when she works with Billy at the pool

[zootopiathingz]

Husk: you’re an idiot.

Angel: I’m YOUR idiot, bitch!

Angel, pointing to his wedding ring: foreverrrrr!!

[dontgetcaught256]

Viggo, about Snotlout: What’s wrong with him?

Hiccup: Everyone has a different theory.

[superiorsturgeon]

Placebo

Pyrrha: *drunkenly leaning against Jaune and drawing little circles on his chest* You know, Jaune…I always thought you were really *hic* cute~! 🥴

Jaune: P-Pyrrha?! What are you saying?! 😧

Pyrrha: *puts a finger to Jaune’s lips* Shhhh…! What I’m saying *hic* is that I wanna be your *hiccup* GIRLFRIEND, you adorable blonde noodle…!

Jaune: W-WHAT?! B-but why?! You mean you want to-

Pyrrha: *interrupting* You’re so sweet, and you have the cutest little tight butt! I just wanna squish your cheeks and nibble all over your neck~! 😘

Pyrrha: *pauses* Oh, Weissy-cream! Could you be a dear and pass me another drink? *hic* 🥴

Weiss: *disgustedly takes Pyrrha’s empty can and walks over to where Yang is bartending* Can you believe this? The Invincible Girl, the most prim and proper woman on Remnant, but one drink and she’s all over Jaune like a complete lush!

Yang: …is that what she’s drinking? It’s not even real beer!

Weiss: What do you mean?

Yang: *turns the can* See right here? “Non-alcoholic!”

Weiss: *looks over at Pyrrha drunkenly trying to slide her hand under Jaune’s shirt* 😦

Weiss: *takes the empty and walks back over to the inappropriate Arkos PDA* Excuse me, Pyrrha? Can you look at something for me? 😇

Pyrrha: *looks up* Hm…? What am I looking at?

Weiss: *presents can* I don’t know, you tell me…! 😏

Pyrrha: *squints* …non-alcoholic beeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE- 😱

Jaune: …so…

Jaune: …wanna see a movie sometime…?

Pyrrha: *embarrassed in sober* 🫣

[incorrect-tmnt2012-quotes]

[Everyone looks at Donnie who is busy trying to solve a rubix cube]

April: Doesn't he know how to solve those?

Mikey: Normally yes, but I switched the stickers around. I don't even think it's possible to-

Donnie: Solved it!

Mikey: What?! No you didn't!

Donnie: Not the cube, but the puzzle of why I couldn't solve the cube. You switched stickers two, nine, thirty two, and fifty one.

Casey: Really? That thing has numbers?

Donnie: Anything has a number if you assign it a number, Friend Number 4.

Casey: ...

Raph: Top five, not bad.

[daddiesdrarryy]

Remus: So you and Pads’s brother are just sleeping together now?

James: Yeah, and I’m not great at casual relationships. I don’t want to scare Reggie off

Remus: Then just give him some space, all right? Don’t Floo, don't write him letters, don’t call

James: That’s crazy, Moony. What if I see a sunset that reminds me of him?

Remus: …

Remus: When do you see him next?

James: We’re having dinner tonight

Remus: Okay, put a rubber band around your wrist, and any time you start planning your wedding or naming your children, I want you to stab yourself in the hand with a fork

James: What’s the rubber band for?

Remus: To slow the bleeding

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Wade: Never have I ever… been arrested.

Y/N: So I drink?

Sam: No, it’s only if you’ve done it.

Y/N: Got it.

Y/N: [drinks]

Kate: I can’t believe you’ve been arrested!

Y/N: I can’t believe Wade hasn’t.

[fabuloustrash05]

[If Branch’s brothers were around for the first movie]

Floyd, looking at Poppy’s party invitation: Who’s Poppy?

John Dory: Branch’s girlfriend.

Bruce: Branch has a girlfriend?!

Branch: She’s not my girlfriend.

Clay: How long has this been going on?!

John Dory: A couple of months I think.

Branch: She’s NOT my girlfriend!

Floyd: So let’s get this straight…

Clay: For the past few months since we’ve returned home we’ve been asking Branch “what’s new”.

Bruce: And he never thought to tell us that he has a girlfriend?!

Branch: SHE’S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!!

[aficionadoenthusiast]

*pandora and evan talking* *pandora phone buzzes* pandora: oh, it's regulus pandora: he's upset with james and sirius pandora: *buzz* and barty pandora: *buzz* and dumbledore pandora: *buzz* and you

[7ndipity]

Yoongi: you're giving me a sticker?

Y/n: not just any sticker. It's a sticker with a cat saying "me-wow!"

Yoongi: ...

Yoongi: I'm not a preschooler

Y/n: alright fine, I'll take it back-

Yoongi: no, I earned this, fuck off!