#it’s actually YOU that hates ME based on your refusal to plan time with me

[stoat-party]

Fallout 4: Where is the Lone Wanderer?*

*a vague conspiracy theory which doesn’t actually answer the question at hand. We all have our own ideas of how the lore should go, and I’m sure yours is very canon-compliant and valid, but this is mine and I have support for it. Looooongpost.

First off: What do we know about the canon Wanderer?

We know they activated Project Purity (or had a companion do it) without the FEV and were inducted into the Brotherhood. We know they’ve met with MacCready (you can’t finish the game if you don’t), and he has dialogue indicating they had further contact. They also took the Brotherhood’s side at Adams Air Force Base.

We don’t know what happened with The Replicated Man, but since the canon Wanderer appears to have good karma, and info from 4 implies Zimmer’s disappearance was more recent than ten years ago, it seems likely they took the boring ending, which secures their membership in the Railroad.

Why aren’t they in Fallout 4?

The Doylist answer is that they’re highly customizable, and so they have no canon appearance, personality, gender, etc. But in-universe? Something happened.

“Accepting outsiders like yourself has proven disastrous in the past.” - Kells

“I've seen other soldiers come and go. Some were brave, some were honest... hell, some were even downright heroic.” - Danse

“Every doctor I've talked to was worthless. [] I don't need them... I need someone like you.” - MacCready

When Duncan first got sick, “someone like you” would have meant the Wanderer. This suggests (to me) that they’re not in the Capital Wasteland anymore. But they’re certainly not in the Commonwealth either.

The weird thing is that the Lone Wanderer is all over this game - they’re the namesake for a male hairstyle, a perk, a DCR song, a motorcycle brand… and the codename of Deacon’s mission to save the Railroad from certain destruction by recruiting the Sole Survivor.

Someday We’ll Find It, the Deacon Connection

Oh yeah, I’m going here. Desdemona’s terminal entries confirm it was always Deacon’s plan to get you onboard and use you to destroy the Institute. There are Railroad lookout posts near 111/Sanctuary and Red Rocket, and of course he followed you in Goodneighbor, Diamond City, and Bunker Hill (at least). His court jester vibe hides it a bit, but he’s manipulating you more than he’s manipulating Desdemona in the intro scene. And do you notice he rarely gives you a firm verbal disapproval unless you’re hurting the Railroad?

What could have caused Deacon’s interest in you, unless he’s made the connection between you and the Lone Wanderer? He’ll vouch for you if you haven’t accomplished anything yet, or even if you’re a Brotherhood member. A Pip-Boyed stranger emerges from a vault in the middle of a crisis, gaining friends, skills, items, and special abilities at a suspicious rate? Probably with the same gender and playstyle as the previous one? Heck, when he first heard the rumors, he probably thought you WERE the Lone Wanderer.

There are other indications the Railroad has been in contact with them — Desdemona mentions the Capital Wasteland as their primary destination for synths, and Deacon references Harkness’s recall code. If you refuse to pick a codename, Desdemona even assigns you “Wanderer.”

So what happened, then?

I think the answer lies with the Brotherhood, specifically in Deacon’s hatred of them. Sure, ideology is enough to hate them for, but Deacon sure seems suspiciously happy if you nuke their base of operations. (Some of) his comments on that:

“The Brotherhood... well, I met them on an op in Capital Wasteland a few years back. But now with Elder Maxson... Let's just say, not a fan.”

“That bastard Maxson really screwed them up. The Brotherhood used to be the good guys. Well, goodish.”

[Who’s Elder Maxson?] “He’s a piece of work, is what he is.”

And on his time in the Capital:

“Did I ever tell you about the time I was in Capital Wasteland? Now there's a tale.”

“Capital Wasteland. Exports: purified water, some decent tech, oh, and an insane suicidal cult that worships radiation. Thanks, guys.”

“I miss Capital Wasteland. You can actually drink the water there.”

And a few lines I’ve decided (with no evidence) directly refer to LW:

“Last partner I had wound up going... well, a little insane. I think it was all my show tune medleys.”

[After Maxson orders you to hunt Danse down] “See? This is what the Brotherhood's really about.”

And my favorite: “I’ve been looking forward to kicking the Brotherhood’s teeth in. I owe them.” This line comes before Glory is killed, so he’s not referring to that. The Brotherhood only recently arrived in force in the Commonwealth. He’s talking about something that happened in the Capital Wasteland.

So Here’s What Might Have Happened:

In early 2286, Deacon moves to the Capitol Wasteland for awhile, probably to get a face change and lay low for a bit. He contacts the Lone Wanderer, who has barely heard from the Railroad in nine years. They begin to work together.

(In context, this journal entry looks like he’s somehow gathering intel to predict when Vault 111 will open, but I can’t think of a way for him to get that information or know why it’s important, so I’m not going to believe it just yet.)

The Wanderer is still a knight, maybe a paladin. Maxson has been elder for 2-3 years and is monitoring the Institute. Meanwhile, the Lone Wanderer and Deacon are setting up infrastructure to receive escaped synths.

And then the Brotherhood finds out about one of the safehouses. With their limited understanding, they believe that the Institute is holed up there and attack. The Wanderer intentionally throws the mission — maybe disobeys orders, maybe downs a vertibird or collapses a subway tunnel, or maybe even attacks their brothers to protect the synths.

And, well-

Either they were killed, or they escaped court martial and execution by a hair’s breadth and fled the Capital, leaving Deacon to believe Maxson had them killed.

There you have it. That’s why they aren’t in Brotherhood dialogue or records. Their accomplishments couldn’t be recognized because they’re a traitor. And that’s why it’s personal for Deacon.

[wannab-urs]

Title: Harsher Than the Bark

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: Javi makes you feel things you’ve never felt before, will never feel with anyone else, but he can’t – or won’t – love you. 

Tags: smoking, probably shit spanish, smut, angst, fingering, squirting, unprotected PiV, probably unrealistic amount of orgasms (like 4 idk it’s kinda vague, choking/breath play, Javi has dom vibes but it’s not like BDSM he’s just bossy, one “good girl,” begging, religious imagery because Javi makes you see god, biting, that one position from that one scene – you fucking know the one, excessive cursing because it’s me and I refuse to change, Javi is a cuddler, emotionally unavailable!Javi, references to past arguments/past hookups because this has been an ongoing thing and I love to start in the middle of a story. Based on 505 by Arctic Monkeys, (being annoying and posting at 5:05 am) No beta we die like Oberyn WC: 1.4k

A/N: I kind of wrote this in a fever dream, I literally don't even know if it's any good. It's sort of a planned three parter, but I'm not putting pressure on myself to finish it, so each part can stand completely alone. If I write all three, it'll be called In the A.M. as in In the Morning but also because they're all based on Arctic Monkeys songs. Hope you like it <3

Series Masterlist | Javier Peña Masterlist | Main Masterlist | AO3 | Kofi

The knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark Frightened by the bite, though it's no harsher than the bark

Javier Peña is probably the best fuck you’ve ever had in your life. Actually, scratch that. He’s definitely the best fuck you’ve ever had in your life. He makes you feel things you’ve never felt before. Coming three times in one night with him is the absolute bare minimum. He loves it when you scream for him. Does everything in his power to get you a noise complaint from your neighbors. 

And God is he gorgeous. Long and lean with strong arms, broad shoulders, a tiny waist, a perky ass. His nose looks like it was carved off a greek statue and placed on his face. He’s got these big sad brown eyes, full lips framed by a neatly trimmed mustache, and a jawline that could cut glass. You’re probably in love with him. 

You put out your cigarette when you hear the door open, lay back in the bed and stare at the ceiling. It’s five in the morning, but you never turn him away. No matter what time. 

“Shouldn’t leave the door unlocked, hermosa,” Javi’s deep drawl drifts across the room to you. 

“Knew you were coming. Didn’t wanna have to get up.” 

Javi drops his shirt on the floor and crawls up the bed, draping himself over you and pressing a kiss to your lips. “No es seguro, cariño. Anyone could walk in.” (It’s not safe, baby).

“Lo que sea, Javi.” (Whatever, Javi). You roll your eyes at him. “It’s locked now, no?” 

Javi drags his lips along your jaw, nips at your throat, drags a finger through your folds. “Wet already, baby? Were you thinking of me?” 

You were, but you kind of hate him for being right. “Fuck you, Jav–” his name drags out into a moan as he stuffs two thick fingers inside you. He pumps his fingers in and out a couple times before curling them up into the spongy spot inside you. You throw your head back in pleasure, back arching and hips thrusting so that you’re practically riding his fingers. 

He wraps the fingers of his free hand carefully around your throat. “Mírame.” (Look at me). You force your eyes open and he’s so close you could count the individual hairs in his mustache. You look into his eyes with so much adoration, so much love, he has to look away. He squeezes your throat tighter and you close your eyes again as your cunt tightens on his fingers. 

He rubs circles on your clit in time with the thrust of his fingers, feeling you wind tighter and tighter around him. His hand on your throat isn’t blocking air, but you still can’t catch your breath. When your body is so tense it feels like you’ll shatter into a million pieces, he releases the hand on your throat. You gasp in a big breath and fall apart in his hands. He works you through it with firm, slow strokes. 

Just as you feel yourself start to come down, he picks up the pace again. He places the hand that was on your throat on your pelvis, holding you down on the mattress and rubs his thumb in quick, hard circles on your clit. He pumps his fingers into you hard and fast. 

“Come for me, hermosa. Come all over my hand.” 

Your vision whites out and you let out a near agonized scream as you clench around his fingers and gush all over him. Javi pulls his fingers out of you and slips them into your mouth. You suck the taste of yourself off his fingers. 

“Good girl,” he growls in your ear. He stands up, leaving you panting on the bed, and strips his jeans off. He strokes himself as he gets back on the bed, hand still slick with your cum. He pulls your thighs over his and you wrap your legs around him. He drags his cock through your folds and watches you shudder. 

“You’re soaked… You want me to fuck you?” The bastard is teasing you. You whine his name. “Las palabras, cariño.” (Words, baby). 

“Need you, Javi. Please. I need you so bad,” you’re desperate, aching for him. He taps your clit with the head of his cock one more time before lining up with your entrance and pushing in. You let out an absolutely wrecked moan, voice breaking as he bottoms out. 

He leans forward, planting his hands on either side of your head and pulls out before plunging back down inside you. He has your hips tilted almost vertically, driving you down into the mattress with every thrust. You dig your nails into the meat of his shoulders and drag them down his back, making him groan into your neck. 

Fucking Javi is always a religious experience. You find salvation and damnation at once in his arms and you swear you see God himself when you come on his cock. 

Javi doesn’t slow down despite the way you clench around him. He often works out his frustrations in your body, tries to bury them and himself in you. 

He pulls out and flips you over by your hips, sheathing himself inside you the second you’re on your knees in front of him. He fists one hand in your hair and pulls your back to his chest, wrapping the other hand around your breast. 

You lay your head on his shoulder and let the pleasure wash over you, lose yourself in it completely. You only exist in this moment, the pleasure and pain melding to form something divine inside you. He bites down on your neck and you come on his cock again, and you think you scream. You aren’t quite sure. 

Javi groans as he slams into you one, two, three more times and collapses forward onto the bed, trapping you under him. He stays inside you for a few more moments, nuzzling your neck. His lips catch your ear lobe as he pulls himself out of you and falls to the bed beside you. He wraps his arms around you, curling his body around yours, and holds you close. 

You lie in silence for a long time, just listening to each other breathe. This has become routine. Javi has a bad day at work and takes it out on your body in this bed. He never talks about it, about why he needs such a frenzied release, but you can guess. 

Sometimes, though, he’ll talk about growing up in Laredo or about a nice dinner he had with Connie and Steve or about an op that went well. Sometimes he lets you see beneath his hardened exterior. 

The truth is that you’re definitely in love with him. But Javi won’t ever be with you, not in the way you want. Javi won’t commit to being with you because this, what you just did, is all he thinks he deserves and all he knows how to do. He loves making you feel good, takes pride in making you come over and over and over. He loves making you moan and whine and scream for him. He loves it when you tell him how good he feels, how perfect he is, how pretty his cock is. He just doesn’t love you.

He always curls up with you, snuggles you close, clings to you. But if you bring up wanting something more, something defined and committed, he fucking runs. He can give you himself physically, but he can’t let you near his heart because it is rotten and caving in and no good. And you? You are good. He can’t touch you with that. The dark and broken part of himself. He can’t infect your good with his bad.

You know this and yet… 

A tear slips from your lashes, trailing down your cheek and falling onto the arm tucked under your cheek. 

“Cariño, ¿por qué lloras? (Baby, why are you crying?) He sounds… fucking anguished. “¿Te lastimé?” (Did I hurt you?)

“It’s nothing, Jav.” 

Javi sits up, grabs your face in his hands and makes you look at him. “It’s something. Dime.” (Tell me). 

“If I tell you, you’ll just fucking leave again, Javi. I can’t do this right now. Just hold me, please? Be here when I wake up?” 

Javi searches your eyes for a moment. You aren’t sure what he sees there. Heartbreak? Resignation? Desperation? Whatever it is convinces him. 

“Sure, yeah. I can do that.” 

[chaoticgoodthief]

STP Voices Personality Swap

Inspired completely by @remaking-machine's awesome AU! I decided to put my own twist on the idea and see how it turns out! (ramble under the cut so that my mutuals don't have to watch me go insane, as per usual)

Self-imposed rules:

Personalities swaps must be based off of this line (or at least my interpretation of it) to force me to think more about how that would even work:

Princesses must be kept as close to canon as possible. I would give a good reason but honestly, it's just more fun that way

Ok, without further ado, let's get started!

Hunted (swapped with Opportunist): Will be on whatever side keeps him alive. Will be completely on board with defeating the Beast since he knows he will die if he doesn't fight her. However, he drops all pretences the moment they aren't in danger of dying. All the other voices actually like him up until he drops the helpful act, which at that point they all immediately hate him for deceiving them. For the most part, acts similar to his canon counterpart but a lot shadier in a way that nobody else seems to notice.

Opportunist (swapped with Hunted): Treats the Witch like an ambush predator and thus always is correct about her next move. False bravado comes off like a prey animal puffing itself up to be more intimidating. Genuinely looking out for your survival, but generally disliked by the other voices for his flighty nature. Does not trust Thorn, but empathetic towards her pain. Generally acts very different from his canon counterpart, but his facade is a nearly eerie replica.

Skeptic (Swapped with Smitten): An seriously unhealthy amount of trust in the Prisoner and only the Prisoner. If she told you to stab yourself he would agree with her because he's that sure that she has a plan. Completely distraught in the Drowned Grey route because he knew she had a plan and it's all your fault for not believing in her like he did. It's actually creepy how easily Skeptic falls down the exact same path as canon Smitten after a personality swap. I love it.

Smitten (Swapped with Skeptic): Serious trust issues after being stabbed to death by the princess and locked away by the Narrator. Rather than you being the one to ask questions in the start of Chapter II, he will ask them before you get the chance. Since he will force you to grab the knife, there is a much higher chance of getting the Burned Grey route. Can be calmed down if you manage to get him to put his trust in the Damsel, but manoeuvring away from Deconstructed Damsel is also a lot harder due to his insistence to get answers. Somehow even more sceptical than canon Skeptic.

Stubborn (Swapped with Broken): Most downtrodden of the lot because of just how exhausted he is from the seemingly endless fighting. Even getting with him to the cabin is a pain due to his refusal to Do This. All the other voices think he's annoying and whiny, with only Contrarian vaguely getting along with him. Interrupts the Narrator's "You're here to -", with "Die. And die. And die again. And if we're lucky... die quickly." He's just as bad as canon Broken and it's so funny yet so sad at the same time.

Broken (Swapped with Stubborn): He's not physically strong in the slightest and failed to kill the princess once already, but this time he's going to win. Comes off as a yappy chihuahua trying to fight a lion. Again. However, he's actually on friendly terms with a good few of the other voices due to this. The Tower is vaguely amused by him up until the moment that he actually wins. And then? Then's she's pissed. Would be great friends with canon Stubborn, but only after proving himself in a fight.

Paranoid (Swapped with Cold): Turned off his emotions to focus on getting everyone out alive (think MoC Cold). Clipped, clinical tone for everything, including the Survival Mantra. Thinks the others don't appreciate him enough for the sacrifices he made in order to keep their body working. He is right. Completely numb to death in the MoC route to the point he doesn't even bother to use the Survival Mantra anymore, not that it matters at that point anyway. Very similar to canon Cold, but more apathetic than bored.

Cold (Swapped with Paranoid): Extremely superstitious, believing the princess to have cursed him with her death, which is only amplified when she returns as a ghost. Urges you not to touch the mirror because you might break it, begins talking about finding an exorcist if you let the Spectre possess you, refers to the Narrator as a malevolent spirit (I mean.... he isn't wrong), the whole shebang. I'm not going to lie, this one is honestly one of the funniest to me. Do not put in the same room as canon Paranoid. It will not end well for either of them.

Cheated (Swapped with Contrarian): Over the course of interacting with the Razor, he quickly starts just messing around after realising nothing he does matters. He treats the situation less and less seriously, to the point that he's making actively dumb decisions just to see how everyone reacts. Throw the blade of the window? Sure, why not? She'd kill us even if we had it! Throw her out of the window she's she's a bunch of blades now? Sure! Why not? She'll just come back, right?

Contrarian (Swapped with Cheated): Tried to get out and now look what's happened. Actively bitter about being trapped into a set path and determined to make it as much of a hell for everyone else as it is for him because of it. Curses like a sailor and is generally just So Done With This. He's not trapped with you. You're trapped with him and he will make everyone knows that. Will still try to make it up to the Stranger, the Hero and the player for his actions later on but does not hesitate to berate you for leaving him behind in the Stranger's cabin. Honestly, he's probably the closest to canon. Spicy Contrarian, if you will (get your mind out of the gutter not like that)

Hero remains the same, but his opinions about all the others are... very different, to say the least.

Phew, that was a lot of fun! Maybe I'll come back with a part two for SwapAU meets canon!

[creamybeemovie69]

Some of my favourite little details in avatar: frontiers of pandora

The two guards outside the council room in the aranahe hometree that just chat shit? All the time? Even during that last confrontation with Etuwa's father they're just stood chatting about someone's poor foraging skills or some shit it's so funny

The fact that the camera lowers when you're speaking to humans, which I know is probably so we can get a good look at them but I chose to believe it's because your sarentu slowly kneels until they're eye level with them

Nefika and Relun's dynamic of miserable old man and batshit crazy old woman

Whatever the fuck Okul's got going on. Gender? Babes they're clinically insane, they're too busy running into poisonous gas to worry about gender

The sleeping pod things hanging from the ceiling in the hometree. It took me forever to work out where they were all sleeping because there was no way they were all fitting in that one sleeping den

"it is sound proof Priya."

Anqa forgetting her training and getting attacked by wasps because she's too busy thinking about Priya

Hajir and Alex planning to have tea, no one talk to me

Daniella being this very capable badass soldier with a hardened exterior and her himbo husband who's just happy to be there as long as there's wood to whittle and food to cook

The sarentu humming sarentu songs while they cook

Zomey refusing to leave the plane until she saw Eetu get out

The resistance humans wearing clothes that have been altered/repaired by Na'vi weavers

Minang losing her shit and charging the base in the plains despite being the calmer, more collected one? Good shit.

That little detail in the cloud spitter description that says kids make a game of seeing how close they can get to the plant without triggering it

"I can still smell the chemicals" just kill me now I can't take this

Every single individual human having to ask Jake Sully for permission to stay on the planet. Were they forced to go back to the RDA if he said no? Or were they just left to die out on pandora?

The ferals being unable to communicate with eachother and being so angry because they're so lonely

Kin, Relun and the Kame'tire trader all being friends before the Kame'tire were banished

Priya not being able to talk to Alma in her human form because her avatar was her friend

Nor just. Disappearing? Where did he go? Is he okay? Why can't I go looking for him?

The Na'vi naming options for your Ikran being the names of other kids in TAP

So'lek collecting the identity tags of the soldiers he kills

So'lek in general actually. "This dReAmWaLkEr decided to lock you up in a box instead 👀"

Alex being granted permission to stay on pandora because he wanted to keep Grace's legacy alive through his work. Why is this never mentioned anywhere but in his character description?

The comic book pages

The fact that Priya dyes her hair. Are you actually telling me this excitable little climatologist worked out how to make hair dye from pandoran plants before Alex figured out how to eat any of it?

Anqa's fucking "my land was invaded too". Give this head-empty lesbian a break man

Everyone hating Billy because they think he can't be trusted only for him to be one of the most loyal among them

Etuwa's father refusing to fight because he lost his wife, then deciding to fight because he won't let them take his daughter too

"what have they done to you, my beautiful?" Actually sobbing like a fucking baby rn

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Your Mihawk has me weak on my knees so I wanted to request something for him.

S/O has scars on her body, mainly on arms. She does fight but some of them look… too precise. One time after she loses a fight she is really pissed and nervous, she goes to a place alone. There he sees her just giving herself a scar with a knife on her arm. Turns out she was taught scars are signs of losses and if she doesn't get one in battle then afterwards she needs to do it herself. That's why she's so determined to always win. She hates scars.

@patisilence tagging since I'm not sure if you'll get this since I had to save it as a draft to format everything right.

Anyway.

I DID IT I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT

I'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG 😭😭

And I honestly really really want to thank you. This is my first ever fic-request, for one.

And also, writing this has been an absolute emotional rollercoaster. I have kind of a personal history with self-harm and I wanted to depict it as realistically as possible. Which resulted in heavy focus on character development, which resulted in this practically turning into a novella. I'm going to split it up into a few chapters to streamline things and link them all in this post.

If I do it right, then the entire thing should already be posted when I post this, but I'm still pretty new to Tumblr so bear with me. Each chapter should be between 3k-4k words.

And ALSO ALSO I've been planning a longer Mihawk X OC fic, and I really hope you don't mind me using this concept for it? Because it honestly ties a lot of things together for me

Soooooo without further ado, here's the whole author note thing.

Your Scars Are Mine

Ch. 1

LA! Mihawk X AFAB!Reader

Tags: Fluff, Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Graphic Mentions of Violence, I guess that's it, I'm bad at this

⚠️ MASSIVE ASS TRIGGER WARNINGS⚠️ : Self-harm, Blood, Implied PTSD

Summary: In the few months that he has known you, Mihawk has noticed the scars on your arm. You've refused to talk about them and skirted around the subject successfully, but a trip to Shells Town throws everything out into the open in a way that neither of you were prepared for.

Ch. 2

Ch.3

You were hiding something.

In the few months that Mihawk had known you, he had come to learn a fair bit about you. He knew, for instance, that you had over the past few years made something of a name for yourself as a sword for hire, typically among pirate crews who required a more discreet touch.

That this reputation of yours had led the Buggy Pirates to hire you to assist in stealing a map of the Grand Line from a Marine base in Shells Town. You had failed to procure the map before it was stolen by other hands, leaving you in their debt. Buggy had sunk your sloop to prevent your escape, and you had gotten stuck working for the ridiculous crew for a brief time, remained stuck with them until the Strawhat upstarts offered you passage with them.

Mihawk knew you had traveled with them as far as Baratie, where you had crossed his own path for the first time at the bar on the ship's deck. Where you had approached him with a bargain—if he left Roronoa Zoro alive after their duel the following morning, you would serve him for a year, an errand girl to send off on whatever menial tasks the World Government assigned him.

"And why would I want a little bird flitting around after me around for an entire year?" Mihawk had asked coolly.

And yet you had made a fair point—acting as a government lapdog was growing old. He had been sent after the vice admiral's grandson, for heavens' sake, as if he had nothing better to do with his time than to handle the old fool's family disputes.

Though the surly pirate warlord wouldn't have dared to dream of admitting it at the time, you had his attention. Your offer of unquestioned devotion, your confident demeanor as you sipped a glass of whiskey and kept your eyes on his without showing an ounce of fear or intimidation. You were certainly an interesting diversion from the otherwise dull task that had been laid before him, and your certainty that he would accept your offer had irritated and intrigued him in near equal measure.

It was intrigue that won out in the end. He had left his challenger clinging to the edge of life and taken you with him on his departure. You stayed toe to toe with him in wit and banter, and that alone would have been more than enough to draw him closer to your charm. He had wanted you before two weeks were out, wanted to claim you as far more than his "errand girl," and it was easy to see from the way you effortlessly returned his subtle flirtations that you wanted the same.

And now you were lying back across his broad chest in the hammock aboard your new sloop, a book open over your chest and his hand resting over your stomach, his other tucked under his neck as he frowned thoughtfully up at the roof of the small ship's cabin, pondering over the whirlwind of events that had led up to this moment.

It had been just over two months since the pirate lord had taken you as his lover, and you had been an open book about most things. Your training under your grandmother. Your setting out on your own from a small island village to find your parents, or some clue of their disappearance. The many and varied pirate crews you had served as a hired hand.

Yet you refused to discuss your scars.

Any seafarer with a history as sordid as your own had their share of battle scars. Mihawk had a fair few of his own; one didn't become the most renowned swordsman in the world without a few losses, after all. Yet your voice turned to clear contempt when yours were mentioned, even in passing, and you tensed like a statue when his hands brushed over them. You were confident to the point of near arrogance, yet you clearly held nothing but shame and contempt for the many marks that marred your delicate skin.

Some of which appeared oddly...uniform, for having been gained in battle.

It was in part—in great measure, honestly—the mystery of you that had drawn him in to begin with, and this was just another mystery that Mihawk intended to unravel.

You closed your book abruptly, stirring him from his thoughts as he glanced down at you. He watched you gaze thoughtfully toward the ceiling for a long moment, your hand resting over his at your stomach, before you finally spoke up.

"Reading a book is just staring at a dead tree and vividly hallucinating."

You tilted your head back, grinning as his mouth turned down in a frown and his brow furrowed at your ridiculous statement. Mihawk sighed wearily, plucking the book from your hands and lightly rapping you over the forehead with it.

"No," he scolded, as you giggled softly. He sighed heavily again, dropping the book over the back of the hammock before pinching at the bridge of his nose. "Are you trying to give me a stroke?"

"No," you said, imitating his scolding tone. You stretched your arms out over your head, arching your back for a moment, before rolling over to lay across his chest and brush your lips to his. "But it's fun seeing the look on your face."

"You irritate my very soul, little one," he said, shaking his head as he wrapped his arms around your waist.

"And I enjoy every second of it," you countered, grinning as you laid your forehead against his.

"I can tell."

Your grin managed to draw a small smile from him, before he lifted a hand into your hair and pulled you down into a slow, deep kiss. Your fingertips came to rest at his broad shoulders, the hammock swaying slowly in the steady ocean waves carrying the ship along. He knew as well as you did that he wasn't honestly irritated—your strange sense of humor had grown on him, as starkly as it contrasted to his dry sarcasm, and he rarely had the pleasure of meeting anyone as adept at keeping up with his own banter.

You lay your cheek at his shoulder when your lips parted, your eyes slipping shut and your contented sigh tickling against his neck.

"If the wind holds steady it will be a few hours before we make port," you said, your voice low and soft. "I suggest we don't move from here in the meantime."

"I'm not sure I've ever heard a finer suggestion."

Mihawk pulled one of your hands to his lips, brushing a kiss across your knuckles. He pulled his hat down over his eyes to block out the sun pouring through the windows of the small cabin, tucked his hand back behind his neck again, and shifted beneath you to get comfortable as he closed his eyes. His arm remained curled around your waist, his hand slipping just beneath the hem of your shirt so his thumb could rub slow circles over your soft skin as you both drifted off toward the peaceful recess of sleep.

The first thing that struck Mihawk when he woke was that you weren't in his arms.

Every day and night for nearly two months, he had fallen asleep and woken with you against him, and the absence of your warmth jarred him instantly awake and aware. His eyes scanned around his surroundings as he sat up, taking in where he was—the small cabin of the sloop he had recently bought you as a replacement for the one Buggy's crew had sunk.

His sharp yellow eyes darted toward the door, taking in the sound of unfamiliar, muffled voices outside the cabin.

He was standing in an instant, straightening his hat and pulling Yoru onto his back as he slipped silently through the door and onto the small deck of the sloop.

There was another sloop tethered to yours.

A pair of no-name pirates holding you against the bow ny your arms, their captain pressing the barrel of his pistol to your forehead as they bickered.

"There has to be something on board."

"We could just take her. Looks like she's probably a feisty little thing."

"Still have to check the cabins. Could be—"

Mihawk cleared his throat.

The trio turned their heads in almost comedic synchrony, their jaws dropping at the mere sight of him leaning against the door of the cabin. Mihawk's eyes flickered from them to you, and you averted your eyes, clearly ashamed to be seen in such a compromising situation.

So he shifted his gaze back to the opposing pirates, his eyes flickering between each of them.

"You will remove your hands from the girl or I will gladly remove them for you," he said levelly, lifting his eyebrows.

They quickly let go of your arms, and stepped away when he moved forward to wrap a hand around your wrist and pull you to him. He curled his arm around your waist, lowering his head over yours for a moment and murmuring quietly, "Are you hurt?"

You shook your head no quickly, your jaw set at a rigid angle as you turned your gaze down to your feet, your shoulders tense. He pressed a light kiss to your temple for a long moment before lifting his gaze back to the trio that had dared board your ship, his eyes narrowing in an unspoken threat.

"Go." They remained frozen, glancing between each other. "Now."

They scrambled back over to their ship immediately, severing the ropes that were tethering it to yours. Mihawk kept his arm around you, but his eyes remained trained onto the opposing sloop as it drifted away on the wind, debating on just drawing his sword and splitting it in half on the spot.

He turned his attention back down to you when you began to pull away from him. He pulled you in close again, frowning. It wasn't at all like you to be bested by a few no-names, and it was clear that you weren't taking it very well.

"Tell me what happened," he said finally.

"I woke up," you said curtly. "Thought I'd check the charts and see how far we were from Shells Town. They were already on the deck. Seemed to think this was a small merchant vessel since there's no flag. I'd left my knives in the cabin and I was still half asleep when I came out here. By the time I registered what was going on, one of them had a pistol to my head."

You really weren't making a very good case for him to not sink their boat. He cut his eyes briefly toward the sloop before looking back down at you, your face shadowed by your hair as you stared down at the deck floor.

"Their captain started questioning me about cargo," you continued. "Told them there wasn't anything valuable on board. They were discussing taking me as compensation." You sighed heavily. "And that's when you chose to enter stage left and take approximately twenty years off the end of their lives."

He rolled his eyes the slightest bit at your quip. "I would have taken a great deal more than that had they hurt you."

"Well, they didn't," you replied, your voice still curt. Mihawk lifted an eyebrow. "And it's perhaps best not to go splitting any boats in half a stone's throw away from a naval base," you added, nodding back toward the bow of the vessel.

Mihawk gave a quick glance as well. He had been too focused on the fiasco he had just awoken to to notice that Shells Town was visible on the horizon now. It wasn't as if the Marines could do much about it if he did sink the sloop, but you were right—it would still be more of a hassle than it was worth. He sighed, shaking his head a little, and curled a hand under your chin to lift your gaze to his. You still kept your eyes averted, your jaw set. He hadn't seen you lose a fight before—apart from sparring with him while training, but that hardly counted.

You had proven to be quite the fighter when he had decided to test you. You were nowhere near his equal, but you knew precisely how to play to your strengths with your pair of daggers and your throwing knives. Your stature made you difficult to target even in single combat, your movements a graceful dance that toed the line between evasion and power.

Yet one loss—and a rather inconsequential loss, at that—and you were beating yourself up over it quite a great deal more than what constituted normalcy. Mihawk wasn't sure whether to scold you for being dramatic or attempt to comfort you.

"You were caught off guard, little one," he said after a long moment, brushing a thumb across your cheek. "There's no need to be so upset over that."

"I'm not upset, I'm annoyed," you retorted, pursing your lips a little. "Blades or no, I should have been able to take care of those idiots."

"Annoyed, then," he allowed with a small sigh. "And I've no doubt you would have had I not woke. I was simply able to handle it a bit more...subtly."

"Oh, yes, because sauntering out onto the deck with a giant sword and threatening to cut off their hands was so subtle," you said, your voice dripping with sarcasm as you finally rolled your eyes over to his, lifting your eyebrows.

"Don't be a brat," he chided lightly. "We still have at least half an hour before we make port." Mihawk abruptly wrapped his hand around your chin and pressed his lips to yours in a brief, deep kiss that made you draw in a sharp breath. He parted just as you started to lean into it, resting his forehead against yours. He lowered his voice to an intimate murmur. "I would truly hate to have to spend it punishing you, my little bird."

You quirked an eyebrow, your lips curving in a small, coy smirk. "No you wouldn't."

He gave you a thoughtful frown and a small shrug of his shoulder. "Perhaps not." You let out a small cry of alarm when he stooped down and quickly scooped you up from the deck floor, one arm beneath your knees and his other curled around your back. "I suppose we'll just have to find out."

You chuckled lightly as he carried you to the door of the main cabin, plucking his hat off of his head and placing it on your own as you brushed your lips to his in a soft, teasing manner. Mihawk lifted his eyebrows when you nipped lightly at his bottom lip.

"You're really pushing your luck, my dear," he cautioned.

He lowered you down to the double bed in the cabin, his thumb rubbing small circles at the back of your neck. You lifted yourself onto your elbows, your lips nearly brushing his before he pulled back just far enough to stop you, lightly gripping your hair at the nape of your neck to keep you from sitting up any higher. You gave a small whine of protest, but didn't try to struggle against his grip—you and he both knew there was no point.

"Lie down." His voice remained low and intimate, but there was a subtle command in his tone, in the way his gaze burned into your own. You bit your bottom lip lightly, lowering yourself back down onto the bed fully. A soft, quivering sigh left your lips as he slowly began slipping the buttons down the front of your shirt loose. "Hands over your head. And you don't move them an inch until I tell you you can."

"Mmm..." You hummed thoughtfully, and Mihawk paused in unbuttoning your shirt as you lifted your arms from the bed, holding your hands high above you, straight up in the air. "I think my arms might end up getting tired."

Your lips pursed a little, clearly struggling to keep a straight face, and he lifted an eyebrow at you. "You're certainly in rare form today."

Mihawk wrapped his hand around both of your wrists, shoving your hands down into the plush white comforter over your head, and a couple giggles escaped you before you bit your lip again. It was honestly a bit endearing, how cheeky you were being—and all the moreso, as it appeared you were being so brazen just so he could have his fun with your punishment.

You were enticing him more and more every passing day, beyond the physical desire that had led him to claim you as his a couple months ago. It wasn't a feeling he was particularly accustomed to, nor was he quite sure what to make of it yet. He knew only that when he had seen you held captive against the bow of the boat, an emotion had flashed through him for a moment that he hadn't experienced in years.

For the briefest moment, Dracule Mihawk had felt fear.

He was not ready to contend with the connotations of that.

And he was a bit too busy at the moment, anyway. He let his forehead touch yours, his lips hovering a breath away from your own.

"You don't move your hands," he repeated, tilting his head to just barely graze his lips against your neck, drawing a small moan from your lips, "until I give you permission. Understood?"

"Yes, sir..." you sighed softly, your eyes slipping shut as he kissed down your collarbone, pushing your shirt open. His hand released your wrists and trailed down your arms, down to knead at the soft tissue of your breast through the sheer lace of your bra, feeling your nipple harden against his palm. He tugged the cups down, just a bit too hard given he felt one of them tear in his grasp, but that was a problem for later, not now.

You gasped out when he briefly pulled one of your stiff nipples into his mouth, his grip tightening slightly around your ribcage as you arched your chest toward his swirling tongue. His gaze flicked up to watch you writhe and shudder under his touch, your fingers digging into the bedsheets behind you, your hands searching for anything to keep occupied with.

"Very good," he praised, lifting a hand to brush a few strands of hair out of your eyes and brushing his lips to your jaw. "You see?" He wrapped his hand around your jaw and lightly pressed his lips to yours. "It's much better when you're a good little bird, isn't it?"

"This—doesn't feel much like a punishment," you commented, gasping softly as he circled the pad of his thumb around your nipple, lightly skimming across it once or twice.

"Yet," he corrected.

And gave you a small, devilish smirk, before lowering his head and biting down on the tender skin at the crook of your neck. Just hard enough to leave behind a small bruise, to draw a sharp cry from your lips and send a shiver through your body.

He straightened out as you heaved a sigh, standing over you. Your eyes remained glued to him while he shrugged away his long coat and tossed it back into a chair behind him, noting how your hands tightened down on the bedsheets again.

"Remember we still have a half an hour before we reach Shells Town." His fingertips curled around the waist of your shorts, the lace of your panties beneath them, and slowly inched them down your hips. "I could spend the entirety of it teasing you." Mihawk noted the movement in your throat as you swallowed in nervous anticipation, your eyes glued to his as he pulled them up the length of your legs and off, flinging them aside. "Making you beg for release but never allowing you the satisfaction."

How beautiful it was that it only took a few words to pull a blush to your cheeks and make your breath hitch. He brushed a light kiss to your calf and pushed your legs apart, rubbing his palms up your inner thighs.

"You're going to have to be on your best behavior if you want more, my sweet little bird." Trailing a single finger up your soft folds, dragging through your slick arousal and across your clit, pulling a small whimper from your lips. "Or would you rather I just torment you?"

You bit your lip, shaking your head quickly, your eyes flickering between his eyes and his fingertips trailing up. It was a struggle for him not to chuckle at you—always just cheeky enough to be amusing, but you knew the pleasure he could give you, were so desperate for it that you folded like a cheap deck of cards under his slightest touch.

Absolutely perfect.

Mihawk moved his hands up from your thighs, curling an arm under your back to lift you up and shift you further back on the bed. Your breathing was ragged with anticipation as he brushed his lips to your stomach, trailing his hands back down to your hips, his lips lower and lower, grazing slowly across the soft skin between your hip bones.

Shifting lower and dragging his tongue slowly up your slit, circling the sensitive bud at the apex, giving a quiet growl of approval as your breathy, shuddering moans filled the small cabin and your hips arched in his hands.

His gaze turned up toward your face, watching you draw closer to falling apart with every passing moment. This was only the beginning, and he still hadn't decided if he was going to give you what you wanted...but the sight of your divine, nearly naked and writhing under his touch with his hat still resting on your head made him just a little weak.

He moved from between your legs before he could get lost in the sight of you and the sweet sounds of your moans, reveling in the agonized whimper that left you as he trailed his mouth back up your stomach.

Across to your ribs, pausing at your breasts to brush his lips and his skilled tongue across your sensitive nipples.

Dragging his tongue up the column of your throat, seizing a fistful of your hair and crushing his lips to yours in a deep, possessive kiss, shoving your hip down onto the mattress to keep you from grinding against him, shifting his hand between your thighs to circle a finger around your tight entrance without pushing in. Your low moans and whines of protest were like music to his ears, your knuckles gone white from the force with which you gripped at the sheets over your head to keep your hands from wandering.

Every slow pass up and down your body brought you closer to the peak of pleasure but never quite there—and brought him closer and closer to caving in and giving it to you. He had to wonder whether you had any idea just how much of a temptation you were to him. It had been years since the pirate lord had allowed any woman to affect him quite as strongly as you had.

How much time had passed couldn't be ascertained for sure when he reached his breaking point—his mouth pressed into the crook of your neck while you moaned and begged desperately in his ear, one of his hands squeezing your breast hard enough to bruise the soft flesh while his other worked his belt buckle open and shoved his pants down his hips in a desperation that rivaled yours.

He shoved your open shirt up your shoulders and arms and flung it away; gripped one of your thighs, pushing your leg up as high as it would go, and the low growl that left his throat as he thrust into you was drowned out by your own cries of abandon. Your hips arched up from the bed to meet his, one of your arms flinging around his neck and your hooking beneath his arm to grip hard at his shoulder.

"I don't recall giving you permission to move," he breathed into your neck. He gritted his teeth as he pushed his hips forward hard, shoving yours back down into the bed as you cried out again, your slick walls tightening around his cock.

"I—I'm sorry, I can't—I can't—please—" You gasped, your head falling back as he moved in you in deep, hard thrusts, your fingernails dragging down his back. "Oh God, please—"

He lifted a hand to grasp at your hair as he crushed his lips to yours, delving his tongue into your mouth and drawing in a deep breath as you moaned desperately into the fierce kiss. The prospect of punishing you, of what the hell he had even been punishing you for was forgotten in this rush of unquenchable lust and desire, of pure carnal need for your body.

He normally hated losing control, but this was on another level entirely. There was no room to hate this, no room for anything but pure pleasure, for getting lost inside you as your walls tightened around his cock, as every muscle in his groin tensed and tightened in anticipation of impending release—

Your lips breaking away from his, your cry of abandon as your climax swept over you pulled him right over the edge with you. He pulled your hip up from the bed to slam into you as he came, gritting his teeth against a low groan, the rhythmic contractions of your tight channel milking him dry. His hips jerked toward yours with each intense wave of pleasure, fingers tangling in your hair as he pressed his lips to your neck, the two of you shuddering and tangled together over the bedsheets.

Mihawk heaved a shuddering sigh into the crook of your neck, his fingers tangled in your hair as he brushed his thumb across your temple. Maybe it was the lingering euphoria, but he didn't even think about the next words that left his mouth before he heard them himself.

"God dammit, (Y/N), I love you."

But it was impossible to deny any longer. You really were everything he had never realized he craved. No, it wasn't just the euphoria in the moment—it was that brief flash of fear earlier at the thought of you being hurt, at the thought of losing you. The utter fury at the morons who had briefly held you captive. How perfectly you balanced and complemented his desires.

He felt as much as heard you draw in a small gasp beneath him. "Y—you—wh—?"

"You heard me," Mihawk interrupted your quiet, almost cautious stammering, murmuring against your neck. He brushed his lips against one of the small, round bruises he had left on the soft skin, and said it again, quietly, "I love you."

You were quiet for a long moment, but he wasn't concerned, still trailing kisses up the side of your neck. He had seen it in your eyes before now, heard it in the softness of your voice when you lay against him, your fingers in his hair and your lips brushing his.

Several seconds passed, before you turned your head slowly and pressed your lips to his, tentatively at first, and then deepening the slow kiss with a soft sigh. He shifted onto his side, tugging you to him by your hip. Your forehead came to rest against his as your lips drifted apart, still barely a breath away, your eyes closed, your voice a quiet whisper.

"I...love you."

(Ch. 2)

[lacystar]

some of my favorite and least favorite details from royal:

when you go with sumire to the shrine and bump into the rest of the thieves, they basically say they all agreed to go together. this is backed up by futaba saying she's going in the morning. this means they specifically went out of their way to not invite you. either theyre shady as fuck towards joker or they knew you were gonna be on a date and didn't want to bother you, but I think its funnier to go with the first one

most of the people in Tokyo's dreams coming true bc of the actualization are met with some doubt or confusion from family members, as seen in passing conversations and the loading screens. this is to show the cracks in the plan and how the actualization hasn't been . well. fully actualized yet. however, the phantom thieves told maruki what they want directly and therefore have their realities so tailor made to them that you have to go out of your way to break them out of it. this includes Morgana. but the only ppl who can hear Morgana are people with personas. this means that some time between Christmas and new years, maruki heard Morgana saying he wanted to be a human and decided to go "fuck it, sure, the cat that the weird kid owns but that ive never met can have his wish too". this tracks because maruki has a persona and is not shocked or confused when he sees Morgana in the metaverse.

Yusuke did not wish for his dead mom to be alive again. just for her painting to hit the trending tab 😭

even if you are dating sumire, like I was, she will not say goodbye to you or give you a parting gift. this creates the awkward situation of her saying goodbye to you at the station with an unusual coldness and disassociation from you, even if you and her are boyfriend and girlfriend. I actually hate this. why the fuck isn't my girlfriend saying goodbye to me.

the winter outfits are the best designed outfits in the game. ann and makoto are in ugly 2010's H&M shit for 90% of the game and then get a fresh wardrobe for the new years.

in contrast, maruki's villain outfit is so fucking ugly. he looks like a golden toenail. the final villain in your game and you have him looking like that? come on man.

not royal exclusive, but Morgana has a talking sprite of himself in his cat form. for some reason, they refused to use this until the end of the game when he "loses" his metaverse form. this makes absolutely no sense, as the talking sprites of every other character changes on their clothes/appearence. why doesn't Morgana's change to his cat version in the real world and why doesn't he just have his "true" form in the metaverse. for some reason, this frustrates me to no end.

when you date sumire, she will not shut the fuck up about her dead sister. also, 90% of your relationship with her is based around her false identity she assumed of her dead sister. you are basically dating this girl's dead sister.

^^^ this is not helped by the fact that her "sumire" sprite looks ugly as fuck and she only looks cute when she's cosplaying as her dead sister. the devs even knew this and changed her back to her Kasumi sprite as soon as they justifiably could 😭

speaking of, royal REALLY REALLY makes it obvious that they see joker x sumire as the canon romance. in the base game I think they saw it as makoto or Haru, but in royal its uncanny how much they push you into dating her. however, she's objectively the worst girl to date because you can only date her at the very end of the game, and therefore only get to experience valentines and white day with her, whereas with most of the other girls you get Hawaii, Christmas, the school fair, etc.

^^^ however, this makes sense, as the realization that you were never dating sumire and instead were instead dating her dead sister would probably come as an uncomfortable surprise to the player. atlus had no choice but to wait until the truth came out to let you date her. they wrote themselves into a corner and then were unable to show off the character who has the biggest model on the poster 😭

when you go around and get goodbye gifts, you cannot say goodbye to certain phantom thieves members if you haven't maxed them out. this resulted in a weird situation where I hadn't maxed out makoto, Haru, and ann, and therefore joker, despite that in universe having helped them through trauma and loss and difficult times, did not say goodbye to some of of his closest friends and teammates . I understand not getting a goodbye gift from them, but its SUPREMELY weird that you dont get a one-on-one goodbye if you dont max their confidants 😭

not royal exclusive, but shinya Oda's voice acting (English) is so fucking terrible its actually laughable. in a game with outstanding voice acting, the fact that this 12 year old sounds like a 50 year old woman really sticks out. this is unfortunate, because Oda is one of my fav confidants and makes him hard to take seriously, but also fortunate because its fucking hilarious.

Akechi's evil Loki costume is ugly as fuck, but is saved singlehandedly because he's wearing thigh-high boots. if you dont believe me, look closely at his thighs. you'll see it.

maruki looks like wilbur soot and it really unsettles me.

[ezzydantes]

Monster Trio Births part 1

Author's Note: Follow up to telling the Monster Trio You're Pregnant. Don't necessarily have to read that one to experience this but prequels are awesome. Lol. Enjoy! Supreme fluff! ***edited*** baby girl would be a little over a year old (17 months for those on top of it, lol) based on my timeline I gave in the prequel..smh..😳😒😩😑😬 my bad...

Luffy

The pair of you had finally reached the Sunny after running into some "turbulence" along the way. Once the crew was together they were surprised to see a bouncing baby girl of a little over a year old amongst their crew. You had given birth to Monkey D. Asa (pronounced Ace-Ah after her dear uncle who would never meet her) before you're rendezvous point was to be met at Sabaody. Rayleigh and Sharkky had offered to keep the infant safe in secret until they could dispatch her later but Luffy refused. If after all the training he had gone through couldn't keep you and you're baby girl safe... he deemed it pointless. He would have his daughter and lover with him. It was his resolve and no one could tell him better. Not even you...

********flashback*******

"Luffy... ", you whispered as he nuzzled into you after another day's hard work training on Rayleigh's regiment. Boa Hancock had allowed him to rest with you and the baby at night in your private quarters in the palace when he had wanted to end his day with you. She had taken a liking to you and considered you one of her sisters after helping save her family after having just given birth a few weeks before and still within your healing time, much to your lover and Rayleigh's protests.

"Y/n.... you and this baby you gave to me... you mean the world to me... I would rather you and her hate me then put you through the hardships that we will face... I'll keep you under Hancock's protection for eternity... " he began but you silenced him with your finger.

"You promised me Monkey D. Luffy that come hell or high water even the end of the world would not keep us from you... what changed?"

Your Captain actually lowered his head and began to get on his knees before you stopped him. "Will you always look to where we are? Concerned about our safety when you can ensure it?"

His eyes sparked red for a moment... the PTSD he endured at the Battle of the Best shining through...

"I'll fight to protect you and Asa... ", he gently whispered, "But I have more reason now than ever to be King of the Pirates..."

He smiled once more as he held your daughter close..."and Asa will be Princess..."

"Lou...", you gently stated, drawing his face to yours as he held your daughter to his chest and pulled you close as well, "We knew having a baby would put a kink in your plans....."

"You knew the day we left our island it wouldn't be easy.... and you reminded me more when we left that our relationship could result in a child.... but I SWORE to take care of you BOTH..." he interrupted your train of thought.

"I will NOT lose you or Asa...", he quietly swore as he kissed your forehead, "NEVER for a moment doubt that I want my girls with me... but if it gets too dangerous don't be upset if I send you back here..."

You smiled as you kissed his cheek. "I'll respect that... but if it ever does come to that... don't abandon us..."

"Never", he growled as he cuddled you and your infant daughter closer to him "I'll never give my girls up..."

****end of flasback***

"Captain... I can understand you bringing y/n along but what's with the kid?" Zoro ungracefully pointed out.

"IDIOT!" Nami shouted as she punched the back of his head with enough force to knock him down, "OBVIOUSLY they had a KID in the last two years!"

"Wait.... are you telling me I never had a chance with y/n?!" Sanji lamented before he joined the swordsman on the ground from Nami's hands as well.

"Congrats to you both... I mean it's SUUUPER that you guys had a kid but... are you sure it's a good idea for y/n and the baby to tag along? I mean we're going DEEP SEA..." Franky pointed out followed up by Chopper's medical advice saying it wasn't safe as well.

Robin and Brook were too enamored with the baby to care of anyone else's opinion and acted happy to meet the gurgling mess known as Asa.

"I've thought long and hard over the past two years... y/n is part of our Nakama... and my future Queen... Asa is my heir and princess... I'm NOT leaving them behind..." Luffy seriously stated, "I already lost a part of my family...again... I'm not giving them up... their my girls... my family.... as are each of you... help me keep our family safe or step off... I won't hold a grudge against you if you do..."

He took Asa out of your hands and held her close as he took your hand in his, "My daughter doesn't keep me from being King of the Pirates... or y/n being my Queen... if anything it's more motivation... I want ALL of us to be free and have fun in our journey TOGETHER..."

"I'm not changing diapers but I'll train Asa", Zoro answered first.

"I'll teach the Princess how to cook and defend her and y/n with my life ", Sanji spoke up.

"I'll teach her how to navigate and make profits!" Nami shouted as she took the baby from her Captain's grasp, "Gotta make sure you inherit it ALL, huh?"

"She'll need to learn about all the cultures we meet and those before her time. I'll read her some historical facts along the way..." Robin smiled as she cooed at the baby in Nami's arms.

"Well if that's the case I'll teach her how to build some cool Super weapons and repair things! Uncle Franky gots you kiddo!" The cyborg smiled.

"I can teach her basic medical stuff! And herbiology!" Chopper smiled big as he crawled up Nami's back to gently caress the smiling babe.

"I can teach her how to play the violin! Sing her lullabies to get her asleep!" Brook jovially laughed.

You smiled as the crew began to accept their newest Strawhat crewmate. Your daughter cooing, babbling, and giggling as she began to acclimate herself to her family. You squeezed Luffy's hand reminding the Captain he never let go. In all his goofiness he smiled wide at you, "Told you they'd spoil her..." and began to laugh. It was a perfect moment with your family. You felt reassured in that moment... your lover had picked his perfect crew.

[akalikai]

TMAGP EP 30 SEASON FINALE REACTION (SPOILERS)

OH MY GOD IM IN CLASS OK HERE WE GO READING THE TRANSCRIPT I'LL LISTEN LATER

i hate the episode name btw

SAM YOU FUCKING IDIOT SHE'S NOT ANGRY YOU'RE IN DANGER YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER AAAAAAAA YOU'RE GONNA GET YOURSELF KILLED (also the transcript saying he sounds "ill" i don't like that)

"alice means well but she doesnt really understand" oi celia what do you mean she doesn't understand she got attacked by the same thing sam did

"my head is killing me" i dont think this is a normal headache ALSO IM SO SUSPICIOUS DONT TAKE THE PILLS SAMAMA KHALID COME ON

"all goes to plan" WHAT CELIA WHAT (they say like they're surprised that she's sus)

"ticket officer, not paid enough for this" NONE OF US ARE BUDDY

oh jesus christ colin is gonna end up dead isnt he. and possibly teddy too. both of them acted the same way based on alice saying she was busy

waiy. colin is in the office, but lena and gwen are in the office too?? also lena is gonna end up dead and gwen is gonna feel guilty isn't she

OH NEVER MIND. GWEN YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET FUCKED. I REALLY HOPE LENA GETS TO GO HOME TO HER SPOUSE AND GOES "yeah fuck THAT I'm glad I'm out of there"

wait they KNOW it was one the train??? wtf???? and why is celia so calm about this

"what unit did you say it was?" "Seventeen-" SEVENTEEN RIGHT HERE-sorry I'm coping with jeonghan's enlistment date okay

CELIA WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO YOU MEAN CALL IT A HUNCH. GIRL ARE YOU SERVING THE EYE?????

"we want your teeth" JARED HOPWORTH??? IS THAT YOU????

now who the FUCK is this custodian hold on checking the VA list-ok nvm not breekon or hope i was wondering bc. yknow. custodian. maybe a reference

this custodian is so real he's like "yeah no this ain't any of my business you do you boo"

LMFAOOO THE TAXI DRIVER THINKING SAM IS CHEATING ON ALICE WITH CELIA AND THAT SHE'S GOING TO KILL THEM BOTH

THE CUSTODIAN JUST YELLING "SHUT UP" IS TAKING ME OUT OH MY GOD AND THE KNOCKING ACTUALLY STOPS

get archivisted bro

oooo okay so hilltop centre got a bloody history. but also who is this "he" that hired the custodian? also the fact that he refuses to come in the daytime is very interesting because usually people would find it less creepy at daytime but he seems to be more comfortable at night?? which is giving the dark but ok

poeple ARRIVED???? NO WAY THEY CONFIRMING THE CRACK AT HILLTOP ROAD CONNECTS HERE ALONG WITH MOST PROBABLY OTHER UNIVERSES

"why the outfit was so mismatched, why the clothes were been pinned in place" okay this is kind of reminded me of the stranger for no particular reason????

OH THE FUCKING OWNER DIED OKAY

SORRY AS HE TURNS TO CONCRETE?????? WHAT????

a precipice????? sorry is there a whole-ass different world??? also celia wtf do you mean "almost"??? yeah sam its about time you asked her more questions

Sam's headache is not comforting me i don't think its normal WOOOOOO CONFIRMATION THE UNIVERSE-JUMPER CELIA

ahhh there it is. she was using him as a balance because she hoped getting him close enough to the magnus institute would make him enough a balance.

IS THE ARCHIVIST STOPPING HER???? ALSO SAM WHAT THE FUCK WHY ARE YOU JUST TELLING HER TO DO IT????

god sam you fucking idiot i love you. she betrayed you and lied to you and yet you still fought the archivist for her. also alice coming here worries me because i think she has a close connection to the magnus institute too and she might get sacrificed

NOT AGAIN???? OH MY GOD DID HER PARENTS DIE IN HILLTOP ROAD?????

gwen you're gonna get yourself and everyone killed oh my god

...see i dont know if i trust that now. i know celia hesitated but who's to say she wouldn't take the opportunity to push sam? or even not done anything when she had the chance to save him? i mean...i guess she did say "even though..."

MAN. SAM. I KNEW YOU WERE PROBABLY GONNA DIE FIRST BUT DAMN. STUPID MAN. I LOVE YOU.

i dont think sam is dead i mean celia fell through the rift and lived, who's to say sam couldn't do the same? the question is, which universe did he fall into? and will celia tell alice the truth about what she was planning?

mainly, though, i need to know whats going on with colin because WHAT DID HE MEAN WITH FR3DD1 WHAT HAPPENED. AND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH TEDDY.

[themourningfox]

Crosshair x GN!Reader

Warnings: Suggestive musings from reader about the Batchers' physiques. Jealous Crosshair.

Crosshair and you have a love/hate relationship.

You hated Crosshair.

Well, not really hate. To be completely honest, you had the biggest crush on the quiet sniper. You weren’t sure why, but it was something about his cool, stoic demeanor that pulled you in.

But damn. He was a pain in the ass sometimes.

Like right now.

“I had that shot!” Crosshair yelled at you, his lithe and lean form looming over you. His eyes were on fire with a deep-set rage that you had stoked.

Despite his intimidating stance, you refused to back down. Seething at the clone, you jabbed your finger into his chest. “You asshole! You know we’re not supposed to kill anyone in this mission. If you had shot them, you would’ve alerted the entire village.”

His hand snatched your wrist and squeezed. “If I had taken that shot,” he hissed, leaning down close to your face. “This mission would have been over already.”

“Actually,” Tech chimed in at this point. He didn’t seem to notice the pointed glares both you and Crosshair shot him for interrupting. “There was a guard around the corner. If Crosshair had shot the target, we would have been caught.”

You smirked. Wrenching your wrist out of Crosshair’s grasp, you shot him a sneer. You were right. You loved it when you were right.

A muscle in his jaw twitched, but he didn’t say anything else, deciding to put his effort into sulking instead.

More than an hour passed of this tense silence before Hunter, Wrecker, and Echo came back with the target properly tied up and cuffed.

“Let’s go, boys,” Hunter said, as he and Tech took control of the ship.

For the rest of the week, you and Crosshair avoided each other. It didn’t go unnoticed by the other members of the Bad Batch.

That’s when a secret plan was formed.

Two missions later and the team was on a wintery planet. The mission was to destroy an Imperial base and possibly rescue any captives.

“Crosshair, you’re going to stay here with her,” Hunter said after the end of the mission briefing. “We need someone to watch the ship.”

“Stay here?” You cringed when he hissed out the words like they were poison on his silvery tongue. He looked like he’d been slapped across the face with a mallet.

“Don’t worry, Crow,” you chimed in, rolling around in your chair to look at him. You could barely contain your triumphant smirk when he glared at you for using your ingenious nickname you had coined for him. “I’ll make sure to stay out of your way. You won’t see hide nor hair of me until they return.”

Maybe he just hated your presence that much, but he almost looked relieved. Were you that much of a burden to him? And if you a burden to the low-key clone...were you a burden to the others as well? Shaking your head, you looked up at Hunter and gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry about us, we’ve got it covered.”

Hunter narrowed his eyes at you, then nodded. “Good. Let’s head out, men.”

You sighed, leaning against the chair as you watched them all walk out one by one. Man...you loved to watch them. Hunter, with his broad shoulders and lean hips. The first time you had ever seen him, you had been memorized by the sway of them as he walked with confidence. Tech, with his slightly hunched walk, had almost fooled you at first but you had soon realized he was more than capable of carrying his own weight. Beneath those blacks were sinew and rolling cords of muscle. Lean, but fierce. Wrecker, too. Beefy, bulky, Wrecker. Despite how hard he looked, you had learnt that he was as soft as a marshmallow. The perfect cuddle buddy. Echo...he was part machine and man. You would think he would lose his physique but oh how you were wrong. You had seen him catch Omega when she jumped into his arms.

It wasn’t until Crosshair cleared his throat that you realized you had practically been staring at Hunter’s ass as he walked away.

Blinking, your gaze pulled up to Crosshair’s, cheeks turning a light shade of pink out of embarrassment.

His upper lip curled back into a disgusted sneer. “See something you like?”

Oh Maker, help you and keep you sane. Despite your crush, sometimes you just wanted to break Crosshair’s pretty face. You were done with his attitude. Jaw ticking, you slowly rose up out of your chair and squared up to the tall sniper. Just a couple inches shorter than him, you still had to tilt your chin up to meet his eyes.

“If you weren’t such a prickly cactus all the time, maybe it would be your ass I was staring at,” you said, not quite caring anymore. “But no. Every time I turn in this damn ship, you’re ripping me a new one about one thing or another. I liked you, Cross. I wanted your approval. But nothing I do seems to change your mind about me! I’m done, asshole. I’ll stay out of your way and you won’t have to deal with me again, all right? Great, perfect, don’t talk to me or even look at me.”

You had turned away, getting ready to stalk off to the other side of the ship.

Crosshair had, rightfully so, been caught off guard by your sudden change in demeanor (judging by the wide-eyed look he gave you), but he quickly recovered and smirked.

“I could give you several things to look at, sweetheart,” he crooned before his tone took on a bitter flavor. “If you weren’t such a blasted fool.”

What. What did he call you? Anger trickled up your spine. You saw red. Whipping around, you opened your mouth to yell at him--

But stopped short when he was right there in your space, chest brushing against yours, amber eyes melting your soul. O-oh. He seemed to notice the effect he had on you, watching as the anger ebbed into excitement and maybe a dash of embarrassment. His tongue ran along his teeth, lips or pulling up into a wolfish smirk. Gloved fingers brushed down your arm and you shivered at the contact. He hummed, pulling the toothpick out of his mouth.

“If you had been trying to get my attention, doll, all you had to do was say something.”

[codfanficedits]

Don't fall in love - Part three

Summary:

You get warned not to fall in love with Ghost, but you did anyways. Turning this into a little series!

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x fem!Reader

Wordcount: 1122 | Rating: E (18+ only!)

Warnings: a little bit of angst - swearing - mentioning of sex and masturbation

Part one and two here.

You want to go after him, tell him you’re sorry, tell him you’re struggling to understand the feelings you’re feeling, to tell him you’re afraid that if you let him in, he will tear your whole being down and leave you defenceless. But you don’t.

Instead you watch him leave.

A feeling of loneliness, guilt, even regret washing over you. Because you’re doing to him what others had warned you about he would do to you.

On the other side of the base Simon is struggling just as much, feeling stupid that he let his walls crumble, even it is was for you. On the other side of base Simon is hurting because he really did want you to be different. Because for you, Simon had convinced Ghost to let you in. You made him nervous in all the good ways. You made him want to change, to stop chasing that feeling of being desired, so he could pretend the desire was the love he had been craving so him.

Because he wanted, no needed a life that isn’t just about needing to escape his life, and he desperately wanted you to be that life.

But you had crushed him, you had left him when he had allowed himself to be vulnerable, when he had asked you to spent the night. You had played the tricks on him he used to play on others.

So Ghost went back on what he knew best. Self-destruction in the form of using others. Self-destruction by having another woman in his bed every night. Using the poor souls to get a taste of what a life full of love could be.

And you couldn’t stand it. You hated to see how he would use the same tricks over and over again, you hated to see how they would always work. The infamous leaning against the doorway, taking off his mask or balaclava at just the right time. Showing off his bare hands, rolling up his sleeves so you could just see the right amount of muscle with his every move.

And it worked every time. It broke your heart to see how he had moved on from you. You hated how he was still the only one who could fulfil any fantasies you might have, how it was him that you were craving late at night, but how you knew someone was laying under him, getting what you so desperately craved.

But how does one take the first step after this? ‘Hey, sorry I dipped after I promised to spent the night, but you see, I have some issues so I want to hurt you before you can hurt me.’ No. No that would be no good, but it would be the truth.

‘Hey sorry I dipped and then refused to communicate like a normal person, you see, I have some issues I’m working on.’

No.

‘Hey, long time no see, I still masturbate to the sex we had, but I cry afterwards because I miss your arms around me.’

Pathetic.

‘Hey, could you give me one more chance? I’ll probably fuck it up again whenever we get into an argument because I’m afraid people will leave me all the time, but I can make you feel good for a week or two.’

Fuck. You got more issues than you realised and maybe, maybe it would be for the best that it never worked between the two of you. Maybe you were one of those people who were destined to be alone forever, never worthy of actually being loved.

But destiny had other plans for you. Destiny set the two of you up for a mission together. Destiny decided that the mission went well, the two of you secured a piece of intel, and on a mission the two of you worked together perfectly. He was great at taking charge, and you were good at following orders.

So, you just had a simple, successful mission, and now the two of you were driving back.

Just the two of you, in that goddamn car. You could see him grip the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turned white, while you looked out of the window of the passenger seat. Your knees pointed to the door. You wanted to get out, you wanted to avoid every possible form of communication. You could feel the tension in the air, the both of you dancing around the awkwardness that came with this.

This is why you don’t fall in love with him.

But the damage had already been done, you were already in love with him, and every passing second was a reminder that you could have had it all, but you ruined your own chances with him.

“I’m sorry.” You’re the first to break the silence and you get rewarded with a scoff.

“You’re still sorry you left that night?” His voice is sharp, and it cuts right through your soul. Your natural reaction is to go lower, to burn every single inch of him to the ground. But you’re trying to repair your damaged soul, and a better reaction is part of that.

“No.”

“Then what are you sorry for.”

“I’m sorry for treating you the way I wouldn’t want to be treated.” A weight of your chest, you feel like you can breathe a little better.

“Why did you do it?”

A valid question.

“Because I was afraid you would hurt me.”

“Why would I do that?”

“I’ve seen you break the hearts of other recruits.”

“But they weren’t you.”

“No. But what made them different?”

“They don’t make me feel things like you do.”

Oh.

You find it hard to react to things like this, a part of you want to swoon at his words, beg him for forgiveness, lose a part of yourself so it can be replaced by him. Another part of you wants to keep the walls up, shut him out, tell him you’re a bad person, make him look at you the way you look at yourself.

“Don’t do this.” His voice breaks the silence.

“What?”

“Don’t go into war with yourself in your own head.”

He is reading you like a book.

“You’re like me.” He continues, Simon has kicked Ghost out again, trying to give you one more chance. “You’re afraid of getting hurt, so you hurt others before they get the chance to get to you.”

“That’s why I left that night.”

“I know, that’s why I usually kick the others out before they get the chance to stay the night.” The honest confession leaves Simons lips.

“Why me?” You must know it.

“Why not you?”

“Because I’m me.” And you don’t like yourself.

“And that’s what I want.”

[whats-a-human]

Tips on coping with homicidal ideation, no empathy necessary!

Unrelated to this blog's theme, but this is a very important topic. Everyone is welcome to interact. I wanted to post this long ago; it's hard to but I gotta help others and break the stigma around this too. I hope my wording is good enough.

I have struggled with homicidal ideation years ago, which you might call a type of intrusive thought. I rarely have any homicidal intrusive thoughts anymore and I've dealt with the underlying issue that caused them, so I believe I have overcome that problem.

So, here's a post to anyone struggling with this. Having a licensed therapist is better but I know that just like me, many of you can't have one.

Preparing for an episode

First of all, be neutral about your ideation: you aren't a horrible person and you aren't going to actually murder someone just because of it. Now, and that's really important too: do not normalize those thoughts. You aren't evil for having an illness, but it's still an illness that hurts you above all else, and can hurt others too. I learned this from an acquaintance and that was really helpful.

Now, have a support network. Friends, mental health groups, anything. You should have a safe space to talk about your experiences but you don't need to be "out" to everyone! You can just tell a friend something like "hey, sometimes my mental illnesses act up and I have episodes, when that happens I'll give you a heads up and we could do X" (like talking about a comfort topic, having you/your friend talk about your/their day, etc.) Find a safe way to avoid isolation!

Think of your triggers, make a list so you can avoid them and prepare for when you get triggered. Also list things that soothe you and things that give you a sense of power and control but don't harm you/others. The options are endless, like painting your nails, giving your hair a trim, customizing your phone/blog/etc, cooking, going for a walk, hobbies etc.

2. During an episode

The goal here would be averting your attention to something else, but that can't be forced.

So, you can always talk facts with your brain. If you did act on your urges, you'd be arrested, period. Minor or not. And as a mentally ill person, your time there and after prison would be double hell... compared to just not acting on the thought. If you've been arrested before I doubt you'd want to years on end there (or years on end again). What I also told myself was, "going to prison because of such lowly people isn't worth it". I was right and extra based.

Also why waste your time with murder plans when you can be thinking about Pokemon. Or anything else that brings you joy. Yes, thinking of Pokemon instead of murder plans is part of recovery and based as hell. Like, even if you aren't a fan, some of those critters are cute, right? And just like that, you're slowly averting your attention and the urges are quieting down.

3. Other important things

The biggest victim of my intrusive thoughts was me. Those I wanted to kill were my abusers and I didn't want to have those thoughts, even during episodes I hated that a part of me was into it.

But I would never accept a murderer as a part of myself. I refused to ever accept such path as a valid future for me. Those thoughts were a part of me, but they didn't need to be part of me FOREVER. And I proved myself right. I focused my strength and intelligence on RECOVERING and it was the right choice.

You may feel powerless just like I was. Then, give yourself a haircut, cook something, make art, customize your phone, watch a movie, go do anything that reassures you that YOU are in control of your life, not your abusers. Some things may not appear productive but they are nonetheless carving the way to a beautiful and FREE life. Your episodes will slowly become less and less frequent, and less intense.

Of course recovery isn't linear, it's not always pleasant or easy and you'll still have really bad times, but deciding to thread the path of recovery is a huge step of power in itself. Stay determined.

I still live with my abusers but I have worked so much with myself and whatever I could do within my reach, that the power I consider them to have over me is much, much smaller and that did wonders to me.

An extra reminder: some triggering things may feel kinda good or addictive, like doomscrolling or something that personally entertains your homicidal ideation instead of directing you away from it. For example, directing your violence towards fiction can be helpful but if engaging with/producing violent media entertains these thoughts about real life actions instead of being cathartic, that's a form of self-harm. I know it's addictive but try to look for alternatives! You can do it 💪

Once again, huge virtual hug for everyone 🫂 stay safe!

[autisticlancemcclain]

thank u @zenstrike for the tag <333333333 i see ur mic and i'm elated about it

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

185! but i haven't updated in like a week and a half so we're probably closer to 190

2. what’s your total ao3 word count?

556,104. i am very excited to watch it jump up when i finally finish my longfic teehee

3. what fandoms do you write for?

literally just voltron lol. well not counting baby me's wattpad lol. i started writing almost two years ago and just went ham basically. i've been intentionally avoiding things that i know i will get hyperfixated on bc i don't want to stop my writing obsession lol

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ooooou i'm excited to check. i know it's changed quite a bit over time. i usually sort them by hits!

i will grind you to sand (beneath my louboutin heels) [voltron, 2573 words]: bamf lance fic where i give him a revolver and let him go ham basically

mr. snuggles [voltron, 1656 words]: one of my very earliest fics! lance, lover of weirdo animals, finds a demonic cat-sized spider and adopts it despite his friend's freakouts

he might not look like he gets bitches (but honey that dick was eleven inches) [voltron, 1136 words]: this one is so dorky lol but it's just secret relationship klance coming to light in the most embarrassing possible way

does anyone know where the love of god goes (when the waves turn the minutes to hours) [voltron, 4283]: a canon divergence au where lance is a seer and convinces the skeptics on his team of his abilities by ending the war

this is the part of me that you're never gonna ever get away) [voltron, 3262 words]: a lance & shiro hurt/comfort with a small autistic lance character study! i'm very proud of this one

5. do you respond to comments?

i definitely do on tumblr! it's one of the first things i do when i wake up actually. on ao3, though...i'm pretty sure i have about eight hundred unanswered comments sitting in my inbox 💀 it's an ongoing issue

6. what’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm almost sure it's this post-game show lance leaving fic, because i got comments and asks for weeks begging me to write a happy ending lol. but this fic from the hana universe, from when keith is little and shiro is fighting for custody and they haven't figured things out yet. that one is sad. this dream pov adashi fic is also sad and has no happy ending bc, you know. shiro is in space and adam thinks he's dead and everything. my loneliest series is also still in progress and as such there is no happy ending. and this is my earliest angsty-ending fic with MCD

7. what’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh god pretty much everything i write has a happy ending?? if i’m being serious?? frankly i don’t do a lot of linear plot. i just write Scenes that are vaguely connected. BUT my h2o fic had a plot that ended happily, as did my cowboy fic, but truly i’m more of a slice of life kinda gal. all my active wips are plot-driven, though, and i plan for all of them to end happily.

8. do you get hate on fics?

oh god yeah. i get it on brown eyed lance, autistic lance, adhd keith, allura just in general (are you sensing a pattern), my refusal to use readmores, and lately just some demands for me to write differently/more?? most of it is just funny so i post it to goof on it lol, but some of it i just delete and pout about until i forget about it 💀

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

yes and it’s nasty and i will literally never ever post it. although i guess i’ve written some softer stuff that’s more allusion than anything, like in my loneliest series.

10. do you write crossovers? what’s the craziest one you’ve written?

not anymore, but i did when i was a kid?? i think i wrote a pjo/hoo/divergent/the mortal instruments/homestuck/a bunch of other shit fic when i was 13. i’ve successfully blocked that era out of my mind tho so i’m not sure. i do a lot of insane aus, tho. i wrote a fic based off a country song written in the sixties. so.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

i’ve had people write continuations of my wips?? which i didn’t rly like. i just ignored it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

someone has asked me about translating a fic before! haven’t heard anything since tho.

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have tried. i’m not very good at it. i have very Specific ideas about things and can be very controlling, so it’s honestly better that i don’t lol.

14. what’s your all-time favorite ship?

klance, easy. been in the trenches of this goddamn fandom since i was 13 years of age. it’s been a Journey.

15. what’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

god, the butterfly effect. i get people asking me to update all the time and i genuinely feel bad, because i have absolutely no ideas or plans for it. i might try to come up with an ending of some kind?? but i wrote that like two years ago, so i have changed a LOT about my writing since then.

16. what are your writing strengths?

dialogue and humour, i think. and sometimes writing lack of emotional communication (if that makes sense — i like to try and write around an emotion).

17. what are your writing weaknesses?

i over explain a lot. and i overuse dialog ur tags sometimes. i have a Very Specific scene playing out in my head and i want everyone else to see it like i’m seeing it, which is my downfall a lot. i’ve been trying to work on implicit stage directions.

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think sometimes it’s necessary? it can be a good tool for humour, like with cussing that can’t be achieved in english. but while i understand and read several languages i have always always struggled to speak or write in them. it’s very frustrating so i often avoid the subject entirely lol.

19. first fandom you wrote for?

i’ve been writing fanfic in my head since before i knew what it was, but i started typing things at around 11 when i used to homestuck roleplay with my friends lol. messy messy times.

20. favorite fic you’ve ever written?

oh i am my own target audience. i have several.

i need a man (who’s patient and kind): keith-centric post canon (divergence) fic where lance takes him to his family and keith is good with kids and just keith being loved is the whole point. always.

what if i lose it all: an alternate universe where lance, as a baby, loses both his parents, and then is raised by his oldest siblings. in luis’ pov.

when does a ripple become a tidal wave (when does the reason become the flame): brogane fight & angst canon divergence post season 6; covering shiro’s guilt complex and keith’s unwavering loyalty

he’s into superstitions (black cats and voodoo dolls): halloween verse with witch lance and vampire keith! i have barely spoken about this au on here but rest assured i’m thinking about it all the fucking time

the applebee’s universe: modern au with young keith and lance learning how to love each other

ceilings (plaster): non-linear dream-like fic that’s just so trippy and strange i’m obsessed with it

if the sky comes falling down (for you) there’s nothing in this world i wouldn’t do: a keith character study about how the biggest bleeding heart in the universe loves

the hana universe: brogane-centric universe as their family starts rocky and grows

thank u again for the tag zen <33 open offer for anyone else who would like to hop on!!

[bethanydelleman]

I was thinking about your Edmund vs. Frank poll and it made me revisit Frank's arc. I'll go straight to it - this guy exhibits massive red flag behavior at times.

The worst of it was the box hill episode. The day before, Jane had refused to walk with him (for very reasonable reasons though I'm sure she was also acting more out of frustration at Frank than any actual caution there). He outrageously flirts with Emma the next day in Jane's full view knowing she dislikes it. It's obvious he's doing it for revenge - to hurt Jane or get a reaction out of her. He brings up marriage completely out of the blue, brings up their engagement and makes a veiled threat to break up with her, and - this is what I can never forgive him for - he makes the comment about women in their "own set" which I'm sure is a dig at Jane's family's poverty. (please correct me if I'm wrong). And when Jane says something along the lines of "maybe we should break up" he loses it again and makes a dig at Jane's appearance and personality this time - asking Emma to find him a wife who is "lively, with hazle eyes", the opposite of Jane basically. And he wanted JANE to apologize to him after that.

Now the whole thing is very delightful to read as a reader. We can very easily see through Frank and his actions as those of a spoiled brat who has never been denied anything in life; with very little emotional regulation or control over his reactions. But imagine how horrible the whole thing must be from Jane's perspective - to be insulted like that by someone you love and plan to marry.

Frank's greatest redeeming quality is that he loves Jane. He really does love her, there is no denying that. But you can still be horrible to people you love. I also keep thinking about Andy's comment that Frank subconsciously resents Jane for the power she has over him, which makes him act out on her - the premise of the concealment allows him to hurt her, slander her character, criticize her personality and appearance all under the cloak of hiding the engagement. The ABC game is the greatest example - he already believed that Emma knew about the engagement by then, so there was no point to it except to harass Jane with a tasteless joke at her expense that he knew she didn't find funny.

The thing is I can totally see Box hill and ABC game becoming a pattern in their marriage later on. Whenever Jane doesn't do something that Frank wants her to, I can totally see Frank going unhinged, make veiled barbs at her in company accusing her of having married him for money and making digs at her for coming from a poor family; or express regret at having married too fast and young; or even making slight fun of her with their other guests like he had done with Emma. Later he is going to apologize profusely, love bomb her and buy her lavish gifts. But that doesn't change the fact that this is abusive behavior. You may say I'm overthinking it but consider - all of the future behaviours I noted is based on things he has already said or done canonically in the book.

One of your anons said that Frank had the potential to become Arthur Huntington in the future and unfortunately I can see that. Though I agree with you that Arthur had never loved Helen and Frank does love Jane, but you can still be abusive to people you love. I think of all Austen heroes Frank has the potential to become abusive in the future - because the abusive traits are already in his personality. Although I'm sure this dark side of his character probably appeals to a lot of Frank Churchill's fans.

I know this turned out to be Frank hate rant but I do like Frank. He is super fun to read on the page, and his love for Jane is endearing inspite of everything. And unlike the actual villains like Wickham and Willoughby, he doesn't have harm in his heart and all the harm done is because of his poor emotional regulation and lack of situational empathy. But my point is that a novel from Jane's perspective would be a lot darker than Emma is, and I doubt we will like Frank as much as we do then.

I don't regret voting Edmund because he annoys the fuck out of me, but I doubt he would ever make digs at Fanny's poverty, or make deliberately hurtful comments at her when he loses his temper, or make fun of her socially.

I know you like Frank so sorry if this comes off as hate, I promise it's not. Just a new perspective on "the worst Frank did was not talk to his father." Jane loves him inspite of everything and I can also see why. I hope she fixes him and they have a very happy married life.

English is not my first language so sorry for any mistakes.

Your English looks perfect to me. This question is in response to this question.

I don't know if Frank is as bad as you present him or as Andy thinks (I heartily disagree with him). Frank is a spoiled brat and he doesn't have much emotional regulation, but I think a lot of his acting out at Box Hill and the day before is due to his frustration at the engagement taking so long, not at Jane herself or her situation. He talks about how his aunt has only ever denied him a few times, one being going abroad. I think when Frank entered the engagement, he thought he would win his aunt over and it would be done and he'd be happy. The separation is wearing on him.

I think he has a bit too much fun "keeping" (he is not good at this) his secret but he also does not take the secret as seriously as Jane. He's annoyed with her because he wanted to walk her home and she said no. He's desperate to spend time with her but he can't. I think his problem at Box Hill is he takes Jane's rational secret keeping as a rejection of him (it's not). He thinks Jane's love is wearing out.

I could see them having a very happy marriage now that the moral dilemma facing Jane (secret engagement) is gone and Frank is more free to do as he pleases.

[rhaegang]

Not really a kinky ask but I want to know more about MAD/BOT, Sho here it goes.

1. Is there any symbolism (that you used in the fic) that you liked the most?

2. Are there any plot points you wanted to introduce but couldn't due to change of plans/etc?

Thanks for sharing your writing with all of us!! I'm happy I got to know you a little better from talking in the server <3 I look forward to reading anything else you write in the future (you can try and guess who wrote this :3)

Aaaaaa thank u for asking about these fics, my favorite children 🥹

1 . The symbolism in MAD that was possibly my favorite was using the earth itself as symbolic of the bond between Oliver & Felix. Because it’s like. “This [the earth/your love] is the foundation of your lives, you spend every moment here whether you’re awake or asleep, and when you die you’ll dissolve away into it…”

The prologue ends with Oliver collapsing due to his OD, and noticing how his antlers “[pin him] wingless, to the earth.” In The Parapet, Felix takes a moment to stare out at the field and the sleeping earth, and in The Field there is more sleeping earth — each time the earth is referenced as sleeping, it’s because of the way the bond isn’t yet fully realized, feelings aren’t fully acknowledged. Later, when Felix starts to understand what’s happening between them, he dreams of digging his claws into the sleeping back of the earth and feeling it begin to wake.

I think I focused a lot on symbolism in MAD because it’s in Felix’s POV, and a big aspect of his character to me is his refusal to acknowledge things that he doesn’t want to see. So there are truths that have to be there in different forms, disguised, since he won’t look straight at them or name them.

There is less deliberate symbolism in BOT, but definitely my favorite Theme in BOT is what is Real versus what isn’t— they roleplay, Felix acts, Oliver lies, who is the ‘Real’ Oliver/Oliver’s several names, the Velveteen Rabbit symbolism, Oliver’s intrusive thoughts, etc.

Since it’s in Oliver’s POV, I was using less symbolism generally speaking. But given his character’s nature as a “shapeshifter” and a changeling, I wanted to explore that Real/Not Real duality in the themes. How do we let our fantasies (good ones and bad ones/anxiety spirals) control us despite conflicting evidence (what’s real)? Where is the line between fantasy and reality? If we tell people a story about something and they believe it, does it ever become the truth? If people believe a story about us that isn’t true, how can we hold on to ourselves? Etc.

2. In MAD I did originally want Felix to have a Darcy-esque love confession along the lines of “wow you’re awful and i really shouldn’t feel this way, i hate that i do, it kind of makes me sick, but i love you so much” and Oliver to be like “uh, that’s not good enough” and to be super angry about it. Because wow rude??? Does it even count if you hate it that much? Is that even love, or is it *just* obsession?

It just did not work out as I had planned, though. The tension broke too early, the action started feeling forced, and I couldn’t get from that to the ending. (The ending in the cafe in Lisbon was one of the first scenes I outlined. I wrote it and the prologue together and the rest of the story filled in between them.) So — pivot!

The other thing I’ll mention is something that didn’t get cut, exactly, but it also isn’t explored or super developed. It’s only very vaguely implied throughout both parts (which was on purpose).

I wanted to leave it up to reader discretion whether or not Oliver is actually a changeling. There are some scenes that lean heavily into a sense that something supernatural is happening. The relationship I wrote between Oliver & the Quicks is very much based in this, too. He feels like he doesn’t belong to them, they feel like he can’t really be theirs because he’s the way he is, etc. If you know to look for it, you’ll find a couple points where Oliver maybe even acknowledges it. The most overt is in the epilogue of MAD when he says “I’m only human. More or less.”

Also I’m gonna guess maybe this is an anonymous pudu asking me this bc I know a little pudu who happens to be one of the biggest cheerleaders for MAD/BOT.

[sk8termikey]

Chapter 18 of 21 Questions

better interface on wattpad + updated till chap 27

FLORIDA VERSUS TOUR SHOW (meeting)(plot is plotting)

Matt🍂

[2 attachments]

Hey, here are the tickets

I hope you'll have a great time tomorrow :)

Thank you so much<3

I'll never forget this fr

I'll repay you one day

And thank your cousin also

You can repay me by not hating me when you discover the truth…

Unsent

No worries

And yeah, I'll tell her it did end up useful for someone else

I'll try to take good pics for her!

That's very nice of you, can't wait to see them if they're as good as those you take of the world

“Damn you're so adorable Lily”, Alex said as she was reading the texts above her friend's shoulder.

“Well, it's thanks to a fellow fan that we can see the triplets again, so anything for her now!”

“No but for real, that was so sweet of Matt's cousin to give them out”. Alex side hugged Lily to show appreciation. “I really can't wait to meet them again”.

“Yeah same”, Lily agreed.

Thinking back to how everything happened so quickly, Lily was glad to have been able to trust her online friend. She knew she had every right to be weary of this, but she also wanted it to be true – which she believed to be. She didn't know how she could ever repay the favour to Matt, but she was set on finding something for him one day. Maybe this is a good situation to write that letter for him, he deserved it already but now even more… Lily thought as she smiled at her idea. Although they had never talked about it, Lily suddenly wished to meet Matt. She felt like their friendship was getting to a point where they could actually enjoy each other's presence in real life – they had called a few more times since they played Fortnite together a couple months ago but had never facetimed. None of them knew what the other looked like, but them being friends was solely based on their personalities and common ground so it didn't matter much. However, Lily's wish for an eventual meeting would happen sooner than she'd ever expect thanks to someone who wasn't as impatient – and it could even be said it had already happened though none of them was aware of it.

A day later and the two best friends found themselves in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. Completely off plan – they had indeed wanted to go back to Spring Hill today but fate had it otherwise, Alex and Lily were now on the Southeast Coast. The weather was lovely as the girls parked near the venue. They hadn’t gone to their hotel yet but Matt – Alex had learnt from Lily – had apparently been kind enough to book a room for them not far from where the venue was, “an apology for this last minute plan” Lily had said. Obviously, Lily had refused to let him pay so Matt had only put his card for a refundable deposit and Lily would pay for the room when she and Alex would leave the city. As it was Sunday, the girls had decided that they would stay until Tuesday at most – they had been gone for a week and although Lucas and Jade didn’t mind being alone at the café, Lily and Alex felt bad that they were leaving them for so long. They were also missing their cat a lot, but would never tell their friend that their fake child counted more.

This was now it, the final show of the Versus Tour where Alex and Lily would be once again part of the wonderful atmosphere that were the Sturniolo Triplets’ shows. They had arrived later than they did for the other shows as they didn’t have the small talk nor the group pictures included in their tickets. This didn’t bother the girls though as they were simply ecstatic at the idea of seeing Nick, Matt and Chris for the fourth time. They saw that not many people were left outside as most of them were already inside the venue for the extras that were happening before the show. When they approached the queue, Lily unlocked her phone to get the tickets ready to be scanned. This was the moment of truth: had Matt scammed her or not? Damn, I hope not because I like the kid… Lily thought as it was their turn to enter the venue. When the security guard scanned the tickets, he let out a confused face – though unnoticed by the girls with how quick he composed himself – until he confirmed the names on his list and knew that what he was seeing was not a mistake. 

      Indeed, the tickets that Matt – Laura actually – had custom made for Lily were not meant to exist because they had never sold any GA tickets with only the backstage pass as an extra. The security guard eventually let the girls enter and as he signalled to someone else to take his place to scan the next people, he quickly went inside through another door where he knew that he could find who he was looking for. Fortunately, he was able to find her rapidly enough. He called Laura who was overseeing that the group pictures were going well and told her about the two girls he had checked in a couple of minutes ago. Thanking the man before he went back outside, Laura waited until everyone had gotten their pictures taken – luckily it was almost the end – and as she walked the triplets to the stage where they would soon be on for their show, she notified them about the girls who had arrived. Hearing this, Matt let out a sigh of relief he never knew he was holding and his two brothers patted him on the back to comfort him. She’s here, Matt thought. I’m actually gonna meet her, damn… The stress started getting to him and he knew he wouldn’t be able to relax until he saw that she was here with his own eyes. When they arrived on the side of the stage, the triplets found a small space behind the curtains where they could look at the crowd without being noticed.

“Do we even know who we’re looking for?” Chris asked as he had no idea which team colour the girls were supporting today.

“Well, she’s Matt’s girl so probably blue.” Nick replied as he tried to recognize the girl with whom he had gotten along a few days prior.

“Not my girlfriend…” Matt mumbled. “And she doesn’t even know that she’s here for me so I actually can’t say who she’s rooting for today.”

“I mean– I think I had told her to come in orange last time we saw her but I guess we can each look for our team colours when we’re on stage”, Chris suggested. “We might see better with the lights above us.”

“Good idea, let’s not be too obvious though.” Nick warned. It was now time for them to go on stage and start the show so he gave the final instructions. “We’re mainly searching in the last rows because she had General Admission; a brunette with possibly animals painted on her face accompanied with a blonde girl who’s most certainly in orange as she supported Chris in my memories. And remember, BE. DIS–CREET.”

Matt and Chris nodded as they understood their task. They would never jeopardise their last show but it wouldn’t hurt to confirm that their guests were here as they were literally in front of the crowd where said guests were. Hugging each other, the triplets were now ready to go on stage for the last time of their tour. It had been such a wonderful experience for them and they had found a way to make this last show even more special thanks to the partners they had chosen. Indeed, as their family and friends were present, the triplets had invited three of them to share the stage with them and it was now time to get them on as they were being introduced after the popular vote had happened – Matt won again, what a surprise!

The three teammates were therefore the triplets’ brother Justin, their best friend Nathan – or Nate – and their friend Tril who had travelled with them for a couple of shows to sing at the end. Nick then announced that the three would each pull from a box a friendship bracelet based on one of the teams in order to decide who they were going to partner with. After they all took out a bracelet, Nick made them reveal at the same time and the result was Nathan on team blue with Matt, Tril on team orange with Chris and finally Justin on team purple with Nick.

As usual, the first game was the painting competition which Nate had won, thus granting a second point to Matt’s team blue sharks. The next game was called Saved by the Bell where the teams would answer trivia questions. From the age required to enter the Hunger Games – twelve years old – to the number of moons Mars had – two, the three teams had to answer several chaotic other questions such as the temperature at which water freezes – 0°C or 32°F for y’all weird Americans – or the number of elements in the Periodic Table – a hundred and eighteen. They were now playing the third game which was called We’re Playing Basketball and thanks to Tril, Chris’s team orange deers was now in the lead before the fourth and last game that was Jenga Showdown started. Matt and Nate were closely behind and the Jenga game that Matt had lost a handful would be decisive. Indeed, the loser would have five points removed from his score, which is why it was essential for Matt to not lose again.

Back to our two girls in the crowd, they had been enjoying every minute of this last show. Per Chris’s request, Lily had showed up with an orange tank top and deers drawn on her face by Alex, who was also wearing orange. Although Alex would be over the moon if Chris won this show and therefore the whole tour, Lily was actually awaiting his defeat as she was really curious regarding the tiebreaker that would decide the winner between Chris and Matt as Nick announced that he had a great one planned already. Only time would tell and it wouldn’t be too much waiting as the game finally began. The tension was slowly building in the venue along the Jenga tower. After what was unusually long compared to other shows, the tower eventually collapsed when it was Nate’s turn, thus making Matt’s team lose five out of his nine points. Matt’s loss thus meant Chris’s victory of not only the show but of the entire tour, which sent the crowd in a frenzy as everyone was screaming – one part was actually cheering on the youngest brother while the other was just screaming for fun as one does during a concert whenever the artist on stage does something as simple as breathing.

Now that the show was ending, each team received their medals and as the lights were on, Matt took that as an opportunity to check the crowd for a certain face. He tried to make his brain work its hardest ever and searched for a smiling brunette of whom he had a faint memory. As he stilled for a second, Matt thought he had seen her and when he tried to keep looking at the back of the venue for this particular person, he was nudged by his friend Nate who made him notice that he would end up seeming weird on stage. Nate and the two other teammates did know why Matt had spent a couple of times during the show simply watching the crowd – they had been notified along with the triplets’ parents about Matt’s chaotic plan – and so their role had been to prevent each of the triplets to creepingly stare at the fans too much. Finally, the coronation ceremony happened and Chris received the Versus Tour trophy before everyone left the stage for Tril’s last mini concert.

Unbeknownst to them, Alex and Lily were being observed by three similar-looking people who were watching the fans until they recognised those they were searching for. The show had been over for a little while and so the two girls were currently waiting in the queue leading to backstage as the tickets they had been given by Matt allowed them to meet the triplets after the show. Although they had been trusting Matt, they were still relieved to get the confirmation that they indeed had access backstage when they had first entered the venue a few hours earlier – though it was Laura who had notified the staff beforehand that those two specific girls had a “special treatment” due the ticket combo that wasn't supposed to exist.

As the girls were simply talking about the fact that Chris had won the show and therefore the tour – which Alex was over the moon about, her being a Chris girl, they didn't notice someone from security coming towards them. Exchanging a glance of uncertainty, Lily and Alex were surprised that the bodyguard was asking them to follow him somewhere else in the venue. Questions raised in the girls’ minds but they complied and went with the man. They didn’t understand at first and were just confused that they were being dragged out from the queue.

“What the fuck is happening?” Alex whispered to Lily as they were still walking in the corridors of the venue.

“I DON'T KNOW!” Lily whisper-yelled to Alex. “It's scaring me, like have we been scammed?”

“I hope not bro, they’ll probably give us an explanation.”

Lily agreed and a couple of minutes later, the two girls found themselves in a huge room with several couches and drinks on a table. They got told to stay here until someone would come back for them later. They both were so stressed and although they had snacks as well as beverages to pass the time, Lily and Alex were shitting themselves.

~~~

Half an hour later and the girls were still alone in the room. While they had been wondering about what was going to happen to them – their assumptions were being killed or abducted, the actual backstage was close to being over. Due to confusion still being present, Alex had suggested the first good idea of the evening and told Lily to text Matt.

“Damn, we should've thought about that earlier. I hope bro has a good explanation!”

Matt🍂

Hey Matt, please can you tell me what's going on bc Alex and I have been waiting for so long. We don't know what's happening and it's kinda scary so if you could text me back and explain wtf your cousin was supposed to do at the show, that would be nice

Lily was hoping that although Matt wasn't the one initially going to the show, he could still give her an explanation as to what was going to happen to them. However, as soon as Lily hit ‘send’ on her text, she and Alex heard a notification sound in the same room. This clearly raised more confusion in the girls’ minds. They thought it was a coincidence but were still suspicious of the fact that someone's phone received a message right as Lily had sent hers. As if it couldn’t get worse, the door suddenly opened and three people casually walked in.

“Honestly, it's such a Matt thing to forget his phone on the other side of the venue.” The voice of a man could be heard. “Don't think we needed to immediately bring it to him though.”

“You have to understand him sweetie,” a woman replied to him. “He's really nervous about today even though we spent a while reassuring him before the show. And he might need it to text his friend. I don't know, it might be useful.”

A second man agreed with the woman while Alex and Lily were watching the scene with widened eyes. They couldn't believe what they were seeing: the triplets’ parents, Mary Lou and Jimmy, as well as their brother Justin were currently standing in front of them. As the woman noticed the girls, she stopped talking and nudged her husband then her oldest son to make them notice.

“Hi there!” Mary Lou said with the nicest tone. “You must be my son's friends, right?”

“Wha–” Lily was the first to reply as she had no idea what was going on.

Seeing their confusion, Justin quickly understood that the timing had been completely off.

“Mum, I think we might be early…”

“Oh god!” Mary Lou exclaimed in surprise. “He told us he would notify you before we arrived.”

“I'm sorry, but…” Alex took Lily's place in wanting to know the truth as the brunette was now lost. “Who was supposed to notify us of what?”

“OH MY GOD! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?” The voice of a young man yelled as he ran into the room and started rambling. “Dad came to get me. Damn, I leave you guys for an hour and you can't wait ten more minutes. Fuck, sorry I shouldn't curse at you and I know I said that thing about my phone but I was about to come get it and now–”

Matt stopped talking as he turned to face the two confused girls still sitting on the couch. His dad, Jimmy, had left his wife and first son to try finding Matt before the situation would get more chaotic than it already was. He had stumbled upon Matt, Nick and Chris who were coming back from backstage as the show was definitely over, which led to the middle triplet running to the room his dad was coming from as he started panicking as soon as Jimmy had explained what was happening a few corridors away.

“Hey,” Matt said to the girls with a soft voice to not frighten them. His gaze was mostly on Lily before he spotted his phone and unlocked it. “Oh, you texted. Sorry for the confusion, I swear I can explain everything.”

What the actual– the fuck he means? Lily wondered. I texted? Like– I'm so fucking lost… She tore her eyes away from Matt as she saw Chris, Nick and Jimmy entering the room then going to stand next to Matt who was trying to calm down.

“Ok so… I know you must both be very sceptical about everything but please listen to me.” Matt almost pleaded as he was scared of how Alex and Lily would react. “Hmm, well… Hi, I'm Matt.”

As he said his last sentence with a small wave, the girls were still not understanding.

“Yeah, we know that”. Lily replied with a nervous laugh. “That's why we came to see y'all I guess.”

“No yeah, sorry. I mean like– Matt, your Matt?” He sounded almost unsure as he saw that Lily was still not completely getting it. He then had an idea and went to his conversation with Lily to show her what he meant. “Wait a second…”

Matt quickly typed a message and sent it to Lily, which made her phone's screen light up.

Matt🍂

Hey, please don't hate me

Both Lily and Alex looked down to read the message, the latter almost having a light bulb appearing above her head.

“Oh fuck I should've known! I knew it!” Alex semi-shouted.

It's true that the blonde had had suspicions a couple of times when Lily had told her that she was texting a guy named Matt who liked Pokemon, Fortnite and had several brothers. They were probably a thousand guys on Earth like that but at that time, it had been the only Matt she could think about.

“Oh…” Lily finally knew what he meant. “Oh… I was absolutely not expecting that.”

“Yeah…” Matt was still afraid of what would happen next. “If that's ok, I just want to properly do introductions?”

Lily nodded as she and Matt were still holding eye contact for the past several minutes. When the girls both stood up and approached the Sturniolo family, Matt got even more nervous and Nick took that as his cue to take charge of the situation.

“Hey, Nicolas here but call me Nick! So we have Matt obviously and Chris who you both know, I mean we all met but let's reset everything. Then it should've been later but improv I guess so I want you guys to meet our mum Mary Lou, our dad Jimmy and our brother Justin.”

“Hi, I'm Alex.” The blonde said as she could feel her best friend was in a sort of shocked state. “This is Lily, my best friend and Matt's friend then?”

Everyone nodded and as an awkward silence was almost forming, Mary Lou let her bubbly personality shine to brighten the mood.

“Okay boys, why don't we just relax and enjoy the snack while getting to know those lovely ladies? Matt darling, go talk with your brothers as I take your nice friend with me. You guys will have all the time in the world later on.”

Mary Lou walked towards Lily and gently grabbed her arm to then go sit on another couch in the room, further away from everyone else. The rest of them scattered in the room as Chris decided to join Alex – they had gotten along well the few times they had seen each other – while the other brothers stood with their dad and chose to pour themselves some drinks.

While Alex was talking with Chris and reminiscing about their victory together, Lily found herself in a conversation with Mary Lou whom she thought was the sweetest woman ever. After Matt, well Nick in all honesty, had introduced her to his mum – a bold move from him to have her meet him AND his whole family at the same time, Mary Lou immediately shooed her son away as she wanted to properly get to know his new friend. This is why Matt was currently with his brothers Justin and Nick. The two oldest were discussing what they could do the next day around the city, which Matt was half listening to as he was stressed regarding what his mum and friend – friend? Acquaintance? More than that? Less? Yeah, friend is good – were talking about. However, as he dared to glance in their direction, Matt found Lily's eyes already on him. She quickly diverted her gaze back to Mary Lou but as she still felt observed, Lily looked back to Matt. They then shared a soft smile across the room and as if it was magic, both were suddenly feeling at ease and fell back to their respective conversation. They'd only had a two second interaction as the Matt and Lily they both knew, but it was like they were turning back into their usual selves when they would text each other.

“You do know you guys are kinda obvious, right?” Justin asked his younger brother.

“Wha– what do you mean?” Matt was confused, although he somehow already knew what this was about.

“Matt come on”, Nick sighed as he dragged out his brother's name's vowel. “I'm pretty sure you didn't listen to what we've been saying because you're only thinking about her.”

“And looking at her like a lost puppy”, Justin added. “She should be the one panicking, yet here you are.”

“I don't look at Lily like a lost puppy…” Matt mumbled. “Just making sure Mum isn't overwhelming her. Can't believe she gets to talk to her before me, she's my friend!”

“A friend who probably made her live the most stressful experience ever,” Nick retorted. “I think today was confusing for everyone so let her breathe for a minute and you can go talk to her after.”

Matt and Justin agreed with the blonde, then tried to trust their mum to make Lily feel better.

Speaking of the devil, the girl was actually enjoying her conversation with Mary Lou, who was telling her about Boston life.

“It sounds great, I hope to go there one day.”

“Maybe if my son keeps you in his life – which I would be glad about, you'll have the opportunity to travel there”. Mary Lou said as she put on her kindest smile.

“Yeah, I hope he does too.” Lily replied with some awkwardness in her voice. “It's still weird to me that he was the one I was texting this whole time, but I really want us to become friends in person now. Not that I want to take advantage of him simply because I know who he actually is of course, please don't think bad of me! But, I–”

“No worries my dear, if Matt trusted you enough to reveal himself to you, then I trust you as well”. The woman reassured the girl sitting next to her. “He's a good boy, so please take care of him.”

“I– yeah I will, I'll do my best to make this friendship work”.

The two exchanged a smile and kept talking about their respective lives: Mary Lou telling Lily about her and Jimmy while Lily told Mary Lou about the café she was working at with Alex.

They had been talking for a good dozen of minutes until Matt – who had been motivated by his brothers – finally decided to join them.

“Hi”, he waved again at Lily – seems like it was his current go-to move when feeling nervous. “Mum, I'm gonna steal her from you – if that's ok with you Lily obviously – because we need to talk now.”

Mary Lou kindly agreed and nudged Lily to stand up. As the girl was expecting the conversation to start now, she was actually surprised when Matt asked her to follow him outside. They both left the room under everyone’s curious stare and Matt took her elsewhere in the venue in order to be far enough for anyone who could walk by. When he found what seemed like a good spot, Matt looked back at Lily to silently ask her if it was ok. As she nodded, he opened the door and they were now on a balcony that was overlooking the parking lot behind the venue.

“Sorry, it looks kinda sketchy but I'll feel better with some fresh air.”

“No yeah, I get it.” Lily agreed with Matt. “I think I needed it too.”

“So…” Matt started as he was fidgeting while leaning on the railing.

“Yep…” Lily whispered as she was doing the same awkward movements.

None of them felt like holding eye contact as they were both extremely nervous. Knowing that he was responsible for all of this, Matt eventually started talking:

“Ok first, I have to apologise for everything. I put you in a very uncomfortable situation and it was a shit move.”

“It's okay… Well it was not completely ok but I understand where you come from so I can forgive you.” Lily smiled at Matt as she was feeling less awkward now that they were actually talking about it. “Never forgive you for not liking sushi though.”

“Damn,” Matt let out a laugh at that. “Can't believe you still hold that against me.”

“Yep, always I guess…” Lily chuckled too and let a now semi-comfortable silence start until she interrupted it with the most important question. “How long have you known?”

“Hmm?”

“Since when have you known it was me like– I was me?”

“Oh, well… when you posted those pictures,” Matt explained. “I was ninety-nine percent sure of you coming to our shows and the last percent was when I texted you.”

“Ok ok,” Lily nodded. “And your first reflex was to make me come to another one?”

“It seems weird but yeah actually,” Matt confirmed as he was actually surprised of himself being so honest. “I was a bit in denial at first because it felt crazy that the person I'm texting is literally a fan – although you are my friend first and foremost – but when I talked about it to Nick and Chris, the first thing that popped into my brain when we agreed that you were Lily was that I needed to meet you again, but properly this time.”

“I'm glad you thought that because I wanted us to eventually meet and I'm happy it's you.”

“Yeah?” Matt asked as he felt relieved that Lily wasn't hating him.

“Yeah, it's just sooner than expected but in a good way. I'm grateful for our friendship Matt.”

“I'm grateful for that too Lily.” Matt had a soft smile on his face. “You wanna meet my other friends/come see everyone else now?”

“Hmm,” Lily hesitated. “Can we stay here a bit longer? Just the two of us…?”

“Yeah, okay.” He agreed. “We can do that, fine by me.”

Basking in the silence, the two newly acquainted friends were enjoying this moment of peace. It would be the first one of many, but for now, it felt like a necessity to take their time as they were now slowly starting to navigate their friendship.

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad

[sunriseverse]

For the ask game for fic writers: 2, 8, 10, 20, 27, 37, 45, 52, 55, 75, 88, 99

ah, sass, thank you! i love talking about writing :) this is going below the cut because it got long.

2. talk about a notable time a narrative or character has looked you dead in the eyes and said “fuck your plan, here’s what we’re actually doing.”

hm...................i was going to say that i don't usually have this problem and usually just run into the issue of my own mind refusing to write something that doesn't take into account the societal and cultural context i'm writing the characters in, but then i remembered the time i was writing god knows i can never get rid of habits and i was about halfway through, sleep deprived as fuck, and texted my friend in an exasperated, defeated tone, quote, "the show has repeatedly made me say “ugh fuck there’s a blowjob in my future isn’t there” which sounds wild out of context but the context is i think i can’t avoid writing them fucking in this fic". sometimes i cannot control the characters sometimes they really just want to have sex and i have to deal with this.

8. what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it?

if you try and give me "concrit" on my fanfic then i rip you to shreds in dms with my friends. i write to excise the spirit of creativity from where it's possessing my physical form, not to have people try and tell me how to "better" my writing. i'm aware my writing tends to have a lot of things people don't usually enjoy (heavily descriptive, emotion-focused, present tense, a more realistic approach to tropes or themes, etc) and i, frankly, don't care. my writing is for me; everyone else is just getting to enjoy it because i'm egotistical enough to post it. (that said, for my original writing i welcome concrit, because i actually have the intent of having them published. i just haven't managed to get around to finishing many original projects, historically.)

10. at what point in the process do you come up with titles, and how easy or hard is that for you?

i do not come up with titles until the moment i have to post to ao3. i hate coming up with titles and am very grateful when i figure out a lyric from a song or a line from a poem fits it. well..........usually, anyway. all my sunrise fics have had pre-planned titles—but, then again, sunrise is very much an outlier, so.

20. what is your favorite trope to write?

i don't think i've really had a defined trope across my writing the last few years? i guess if i had to choose one, probably the 5+1 format or derivations of it.

27. do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished? 28. And who do you share them with?

for people to read my rough drafts i would have to have rough drafts. i genuinely don't give a fuck about "perfecting" a piece, whatever gets written the first time is what gets posted. could my writing be "better"? probably! do i care? no. i wouldn't say my writing is the best ever, but i personally like it and that's what matters. that said, i do send screenshots of sections i really like to my friends as i write, because i like making them yell at me.

37. when creating characters, what comes first: appearance, backstory, motivation, personality, something else?

this i guess only really applies to ocs; in that case, i usually come up with a character archetype, an archetype i'm trying to subvert, or an overarching narrative from which i can extrapolate characters. after that, i come up with names based on that, and then appearances are what i come up with last, usually.

45. name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

only three???? no. absolutely not. @lungache @butchybats @lucientelrunya @owengrose @lunarriviera @lunanoc and probably more whose urls i am forgetting.

52. how many unfinished ideas/stories are you working on at the same time?

oh god......................i have so many unfinished fics T^T i have ones that are unfinished but actively being worked on, unfinished but not actively being worked on but which i think about regularly, unfinished and i wish i could finish them but i just never have the time, unfinished because they were a joint project with a friend and then we never finished them and now we're both too busy and not in those fandoms anymore, and unfinished and rotting forever in the cabinet of abandoned wips.

55. do you have any abandoned WIP’s? What made you abandon them?

uhhhhh okay so. i have. a megop fic (transfomers aligned continuity, pre canon), another megop fic (also aligned continuity), a dc fic, and a gotham fic. the transformers fics would probably be most likely to be completed because i actually have detailed notes for them, the dc fic is dead in the water, and the gotham fic i would have to rewatch the show and i don't need to hurt myself like that again.

75. do you know how your story ends before you start writing?

yeah i need to know at least the basic narrative beats before i start writing. often this means me rambling at my friends in our dms to work out my ideas and the approach i want to take, but i can't start something without knowing how it ends because otherwise it'll never be finished.

88. if you could have another author write your wip for you (bc we all dream of this occasionally), who would it be?

hmmmmm i think i would make @xueyang write my mdzs fics because i think they could make them funny. and good. and also emotionally devastating. (hi mar i'm going to write that fic for you i Swear.)

99. was being a writer a dream of yours when you were little? or did it spring up when your older? or is it just a hobby? 

actually i never expected to become a writer, despite having been writing since i was a young child. i actually thought i wanted to be a fashion designer. which to be fair i guess kind of happened since i can't stop drawing outfit/character designs. but yeah i didn't expect to become a Writer the way that i am now. it's easily one of the foundational aspects of my life and daily routines, and i could not have expected that the first time i started writing.