#just for mental health reasons

[stil-lindigo]

lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)

if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.

--

no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.

I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.

I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.

If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.

[neuroticboyfriend]

if you're a recovering addict, i want you to know you're doing good.

you didn't use today? you're doing good. you used recently and you're still recovering? you're doing good. you sought support today? you're doing good. you practiced harm reduction? you're doing good. you want to relapse and haven't? you're doing good. you're getting involved, even if others are doing more? you're doing good. you're resting today? you're doing good. you're alive? you're doing good.

this shit takes time. you have spent a considerable amount of time doing harmful things to yourself, or others. you're not going to change overnight. all you can reasonably do is get through the day, adding as much good to your life/the lives of others as you can. it doesn't matter what happened yesterday, or what's going to happen tomorrow.

all you have is this moment, and if you're on the path of recovery... you're doing good. this is your story. not someone else's. not some idealized version of yourself. it's yours, just as you exist, right now. that's all you have, and all you need.

keep going. you got this. i'm glad you're here (and so is everyone else who interacted with this post).

[girlfriendline]

claude giroux gets the helmet after scoring the OT winner

preds @ sens || 29.1.24

+ bonus Extra Large Versions under the read more (highly recommended)

[heroesriseandfall]

Bernard thinking of Tim as his good luck charm who always saves him from the terrible things in his life vs Tim thinking he attracts danger to his loved ones just by being around them…this is so fascinating and also so unhealthy for both of them. I’m studying them like bugs.

[system-of-a-feather]

BTW if you think calming corners, sensory rooms, and other forms of dedicated spaces to handling overload, anxiety, or intense emotions in your house is something only for kids - or even worse - only neurodivergent kids, you are largely denying yourself a very helpful resource based on social norms.

Having a space dedicated to being safe and with easy access to things to help lower overstimulation and calm intense internal experiences is something that everyone can benefit from having

Not just kids

Not just neurodivergent kids

Not just neurodivergent adults

Not just mentally ill adults

Everyone - even the hypothetical person with no mental illness or physical disability

There is nothing "immature" about having spaces organized to make your difficult times easier to handle and I think everyone should consider dedicating maybe even just a shelf or corner in their place to having an abundance of self care resources

Self care is not a limited resource and not something that you have to be "bad enough to have"

If you think its a good thing for parents to provide their kids with rooms / spaces dedicated to different ways they can self regulate, then you should agree that if you are also dealing with any levels of difficulty self regulating, that it should be a good idea and good thing to provide yourslef with rooms / spaces dedicated to ways to help you self regulate

Children and adults both have emotions and life experiences that are hard to regulate / handle and both need ways to relax and calm down

Self care, sensory rooms, and coping / calming corners are resources that can help both children and adults with those difficult moments

[justmelookingbackatme]

A while ago, my therapist talked to me about dialectical statements. They're two seemingly contradictory statements that are both true. I'm happy and I'm sad. I hate you and I love you.

We weren't talking about gender, of course, but it's what my mind jumped to. I'm a man and I'm a woman.

Dialectical statements aren't about having these statements fight until one is proven to be true and the other is proven to be false. Neither statement has to be more true than the other. You can let them exist in opposition to one another. Not even opposition, necessarily. They can just coexist.

You're meant to accept the contradiction, and that's what I'm doing. Trying to do, at least. I'm a man and a woman. I'm a contradiction. I'm trying to accept myself.

[uncanny-tranny]

I've talked before about how the way people treat suicide can be unintentionally devastating to the suicidal person, but I don't think I really ever said how to avoid that.

Speaking about suicide in how selfish it "is" ("think about how you'll transfer your pain to your loved ones!") might seem like a way to put logical sense into the suicidal person, but, honestly? It runs the risk of massively increasing their shame and guilt about being suicidal. Suicide is not inherently a revenge fantasy or a way to "get back" at someone's loved ones, so when the suicidal person is treated like a criminal of a "crime" they haven't even committed yet, you can imagine how unhelpful that can become.

Instead, if you want to point out how cherished your person is, frame their relationships as something they can keep fostering.

"Your cat will miss you :(!!!!" becomes "you and your cat seem close, right? I'm sure it's beautiful having a close friend like that!" and maybe include ways that they and their cat are close and meaningful to each other, tailored to that relationship.

That's only one example, but when you shift the focus away from why that person should repent and feel guilty for being suicidal, you can instead focus on why they would live for that reason. See how you can frame that as a positive? Whatever is keeping that person tethered should never be used as a bludgeon, I think, because then you're taking away why they're living, the positivity of why they are here. Whatever they are here for should be remembered often and honoured.

[arctic-bookclub]

in my opinion, qphil isolating and exiling himself is only going to make things worse or delay the inevitable: as shown yesterday the enderking wants qphil to isolate, to not tell anyone, and luckily for our evil demigod that is exactly how qphil operates. he holds secrets in hopes of not hurting others, not getting them involved. and we just saw what happens when he has a support network helping him, he broke free from enderking’s grasp even for a moment. but that bit is not the only reason why his isolation is playing straight into enderking’s hands: it’s his insecurities as well. ”i’m a shit dad” ”i need to prove myself worthy of protecting” ”i need to provide better for the family” ”i need to be stronger” - all insecurities that are qphil’s downfall. enderking has already played into his need to provide for the kids as well as the want to be stronger (the buffs in the dungeon), what’s stopping him from digging his claws further to qphil’s core, his insecurities and weaknesses now that he has no one to break him out of his self-deprecating loop? when all he has are his thoughts, the caws of a crow and the voice of him? if no one finds him in exile, i think he will lose himself again, betrayed by his own mind

[padfootastic]

my sirius & harry thought of the day:

harry kept that firebolt alive for all 137 years of his remaining life through sheer willpower and magical strength. he did not let a single twig of it die off. not only was he absolutely unhinged about taking care of it, not letting anyone near it after 5th year, but he also basically single-handedly reinvented the field of broom-crafting just so he could keep his godfather’s gift to him alive. he didn’t do anything with this skill, basically driving everywhere who knew him spare bc !!! ‘harry do u know what u just did? most brooms don’t last over 6-7 years, not even a fraction of that if used at the pace and frequency as u. if u could just—‘

and he just flat out shuts them up bc how does he tell them that the reason his firebolt is still alive is bc sirius’ love runs thru it and harry would die himself before he let it bc he can’t lose the last piece of sirius he has left. he cannot perform this miracle on any other broom, tho he can probably make the single best non-sirius-gifted broom that the WW has ever seen just bc of how extensive his knowledge is now

and the thing, right, is he doesn’t keep the firebolt locked up in some display like some artefact. sirius would’ve never wanted that. his dad would’ve hated it. brooms were meant to be flown. so fly, he does. wonderfully. it’s forever his primary broom and he puts it thru all the paces, keeping up with all sorts of newer, flashier, pro models w utter ease.

it’s like this: when he uses this firebolt, it feels like perhaps he has his godfather back for just a second. and harry is forever weak to that feeling.

[darubyprincx]

to be, or not to be (romanticization of the inevitable)

[canisalbus]

just found ur blog and im kind of obsessed. especially with machete,, i relate to him so much. i know youve said he has anemia, does he have chronic pain? because i would love to project my own onto him. he is so!!!!

Thank you! I'm glad you like him!

I think a lot of the time he's in varying levels of vaguely uncomfortable. He gets headaches and migraines, often from some extremely fixable bad habits like not resting or eating enough, and from stress and work related neck and shoulder tension. His eyes are very sensitive to bright lights and he doesn't see that well, so he ends up squinting more than he should, which leads to chronic eyestrain and more headaches.

[buboloboogie]

HAPPY LATE 420 TO THE SUCKER BOYS !!!

bro is about to be highlo for the next 48 hours

[doobler]

Steven Universe discourse still cracks me up like

Y'all got a show made by people who clearly love doing their job with explicit LGBT+ rep including non-binary rep and a majority female cast with a variety of body types and with multiple women POC voice actors regarding topics like mindfulness meditation, forgiveness, trauma, PTSD, establishing boundaries within relationships, compassion, with an overall message of forgiveness

And yet y'all seemed to wish for the series' demise at every moment and complained about the most insignificant details like that the storyboard artists had slightly inconsistent art styles

The messages and characters are so complex and compelling and the show gets you to think about difficult concepts and topics which flew over people's heads completely

People still think Steven should've idk wiped out the Diamonds? In the show where the whole message is that people are complicated representations of their experiences and trauma and people deserve second chances?

Idk I feel like a lot of "fans" who start discourse don't actually like the show, otherwise they'd actually absorb the basic premise of it

[followthebluebell]

KITTENS *BURSTS INTO TEARS*

same honestly

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

they are best buddies <3

[hijinxinprogress]

YouTuber!Stephanie

Stephanie has a youtube channel (she 100% gives it a name like gotham_after_dark or bat_interpreter) where she follows Batman and mocks him, she definitely also makes content on tiktok and instagram

She’s recording fights with rogues and him interrogating questioning people and doing voice overs in a goofiest growl she can for batman but she also does voices for everyone else (it gets to the point where penguin puts a hit out and is actively trying to expose the youtubers identity bc steph does this terrible whiny british accent when she’s imitating penguin)

She starts her channel right after Bruce fires her from Robin and still does it to this day

Bc if she’s gonna get shit for not being Tim might as well go all the way right?? She’s just doing the opposite of what Tim’s doing or outright copying him depending on which would annoy them the most

Stephanie records batman dangling some guy off a roof for the 37th time this week while going “You said the cheese on the nachos at your restaurant was imported directly from Italy but I saw you…THIS CHEESE IS FROM A GROCERY STORE…in GOTHAM… do you know what batman does to liars??”

Batman’s chasing the joker? Again? Here comes Stephanie with her fucking camera “Joker baby, you know that fight with Cobblepot meant nothing to me” “You know what, Bats? Fight whoever you want!” “Why are you going to Cobblepot’s lair with a grenade launcher? Baby…?” “Well, if the wellbeing of fucking Oswald is sooo important to you, you fucking cheater ☹️ I’m gonna kill him” “HUH” Stephanie’s joker voice is pretty good but she stops when Jason follows her channel after admitting he watches it (however Damian gives zero fucks and edits in his scarily accurate joker impression and will break into Jason’s apartment at random to do his joker impression)

Stephanie’s Duke impression is just her making puns in a bad robot voice and Duke hates it sm bc she’s saying shit like “Don’t signal for backup bc I’m already Signal-ing this ass whooping” “The yellow is the Signal for you to run” “Hey hey hey, night time is when you do this stupid shit rn is Signal Time” “The sun is my Signal to be vigilant-y” “Setting off that alarm should’ve been enough of a Signal for you stop” (Dick made tshirts and Duke refuses to talk to him when he wears them)

You legally have to be a level 79 hater to be a vigilante in gotham so most of Steph’s videos esp after Bruce has pissed her off are just her shitting on batman in a terrible growl “Damn, I’m getting too old for this…my knees hurt so much” “Nightwing thinks he’s funny, asking me if I remember the dust bowl…mf I remember the fucking big bang” “I’m so good at this, I don’t think anyone knows I’m a vampire” “Bruce Wayne owns gotham general and can’t cure Alzheimer’s?? I hate that asshole, I don’t even remember where tf I’m going” “I wanted to be Spider-Man and now I’m this” “Ooh, I’m Batman and I hate fun, happiness, and joy” “Don’t do crime, be like me…perpetually bitchless and breaking kneecaps” “Some people need coffee for a pick me up but I just need to see a purse snatcher piss their pants” “I don’t actually meld into the shadows, I just have Apple Maps and it takes me the long way”

Batman’s fighting or arguing with black mask?  Stephanie has been waiting for this moment so every video with black mask is just her making fun of black mask to the point where there’s barely any batman slander “My real names fucking Roman so I had to go all out with this stupid ass costume…I’m not even a real gothamite, I’m from metropolis” “Sionis…I don’t care… you blew up thirteen hostages” “ITS NOT MY FAULT, OKAY?! Did you know you’re supposed to wash masks? Especially if you wear the same one everyday? Bc I fucking didn’t” “…Sionis…” “THERES MOLD ON MY FACE and this mask smells like ASS” “Everyone knows that, you moron…How do you think I found you? I can smell your stench from damn near two miles away…” “I’m like scary though right??” “No, Sionis, you just have poor hygiene…and issues” “Dammit, I’m like a dollar tree version of two face” “Not quite, what’s lower than that? Dollar tree is too good for you…don’t tell joker but Harvey’s way-”

Stephanie has a two hour video of batman grappling across Gotham just shitting on metropolis and sixty seven minutes of it is just Superman slander in a terrible growl

There’s short clips of cass suddenly disappearing or appearing out of nowhere before and after dismantling someone with the michael myers theme playing in the background (Cass does dramatic flips and landings every time steph records her)

When Bruce complains about the threat to their identities and compromising ongoing missions/investigations, Stephanie (who is purposely trying to piss him off) just looks him dead in eye and goes “Well, you’re not the boss of me sooo” so Tim gives a presentation and shuts down every single argument Bruce makes just to be contrary bc he’s a fucking asshole

Tim only has a problem with it when Stephanie and Damian start working together bc Damian  does concerningly accurate impressions and Damian keeps making Tim sound like a fucking idiot and it’s worse bc he can mimic his speech patterns (“I can’t do this anymore… I’m sad and pasty… Call the fifth robin, you know…the only competent robin…”) 

Like Damian’s repeating one of Tim’s caffeine concoction induced rants about bagels in Tim’s voice while Steph is growling at him to focus in her batman impression

When Tim brings his complaints to Bruce about Stephanie’s youtube account, Bruce cites Tim’s own argument back to him so Tim takes over editing and recording to be an asshole