#like i'm at a point where i am not blaming them for what they did and didn't do

[imbecominggayer]

How To Write Characters With Addiction

From @differentnighttale: "I am curious if you give advice about writing people with addictions for example substance. I have reasons my male MC does it. But how can I describe the addictions the MC has correctly."

In this post we are going to be talking about addiction! From alcoholism, substance abuse, nymphomania, to everything else that can be a possible addiction. This post will be all about making this realistic and complex :)

A) What Are The Benefits?, Make It Convincing

Grab a fucking piece of paper or whatever you have and just write a paragraph from your addict's perspective on the situation. Omit the bad stuff. Make it highly convincing. if you aren't thinking "hmm, understandable" after you've written and read it, you did it wrong.

What do they get out of it?

Why did they like it at first?

Are they calmer, more intensely concentrated, does it take the edge off?

Are they more confident?

Does it ease the sense of being fundamentally wrong or dull some other pain?

Is it fun to do something rebellious?

What made them like this thing so much they tried it again, and again, and again?

B) Think About The Consequences, And Ignore It

Oftentime, at least in my experience, people will continue with a bad habit if it means they don't have to be the one to think about the consequences.

The Consequences For Addiction Include:

Financial. Depending on what your character uses to get their fix and how much they use, they might be spending hundreds a week if they are a particularly aggressive user. People often steal money from their loved ones. Addiction also tends to get people fired. Write a scene where your drunk character gets fired for operating machinery. Have them be a burdenous sponge.

Social. It's common for addicts to lose their loved ones since it often gets to a point where it's impossible to care about these people despite how much you love them. Make love ones leave your character! And don't blame them

Physical. STDs, Overdose, Liver Failure, and a shit ton of other issues from the chronic to the fatal either cause, exacerbate, or are linked with addiction. Recovery can't automatically save your character so don't write that story.

Psychological. Being an addict isn't fun since you get to struggle with points 1, 2, and 3 all at the same time! Write about your character issues. Their lack of control. Their spiralling life.

Write all about your character's suffering. And then have them justify it. Make it convincing.

They need it. It's not their fault that this is the only that helps them! Everyone just doesn't get it. I'm trying to work on it, OK?! It'll all work out! They know that it's wrong but...

My most hated shit is when a character's arc is easy. They struggle with some things like a big dramatic argument with their wife, they cry a bit, and then they learn that "drugs are bad" so everything is fine :D

NO!!! Why don't you write about a friendship that doesn't get mended? A chronic illness they now have to pay huge medicine bills for? A fucked-up rap sheet that they can't escape?

And it's not because we want to punich addicts. It's because it doesn't matter if you care about addicts if you don't care about the messy shit!

It's easy to sympathize with an addict if you make them the most innocent victim who never hurts someone intentionally and who gets rid of the addiction in a second and never struggles with it ever again!

Do the hard shit. Make your readers sympathize with the unsympathetic asshole addict! Addicts aren't always good people! They can be dickbags. And they still deserve resources. Life isn't some kind of karma game where dickbags suffer and good people rise! Everyone deserves to not suffer!

Addiction is ultimately a disease. But it's a disease that can make someone you love into an absolutely unlikeable person. And this is coming from someone with an alcoholic dad <3 He does good things and bad things. I can sympathise with my dad and not let him walk all over me.

C) Withdrawal Is Leaving An Ex, Relapse Is Returning

Addiction is a motherfucker trying to leave. It's basically the equivalent of a clingy ex who keeps contacting you, asking for just one conversation, and the moment you so much as acknowledge them you are fucked.

And suffering the brunt of a clingy ex who won't take the hint tends to cause the same symptoms as withdrawal!

Obviously, withdrawal symptoms depend on what type of ex you have and what age you are and yada yada yada. Research for specificity :)

Withdrawal symptoms can include:

Headaches

Insomnia

Fatigue

Hallucinations

Seizures

Tremors

Cravings

etc.

BE AWARE: Relapses are when someone returns back to their drug if they were going cold turkey or going back to their original dose. Relapses can sometimes result in an overdose due to the fact that the brain has been weened off the substance and is now overwhelmed by the high dose.

Relapses often happen when a person makes the deliberate choice in order to stop these fucking nightmarish symptoms. To use the analogy of a clingy ex, you start talking to them in order to tell them to stop contacting.

Relapses can also happen through being in a setting where the behaviors associated with the addiction such as sex, gambling, drinking, substance use, and all manner of things are normalized.

This setting could be a party, a bar, or even a friend group.

Relapse is made more likely if someone is self-detoxing away from a support group or a doctor.

Writing about withdrawal and relapses are an important part in making a story feel more authentic. Just like with mental illness, people rarely learn the lesson and follow it perfectly. They make mistakes. Slip back into old habits. Do shitty things.

We aren't writing their suffering to punish them. We are doing it because you can't say you care if all you are willing to do is look at the easy parts.

D) Little Tidbits To Keep Track Off

This is the miscellanious things that didn't fit into their own boxes.

Friends!

Do they have friends who also have their addiction? How do they hang out? What are they like? How are their substance using friends different from their non-addict ones?

Slang!

Don't just look up slang for your substance of choice. You'll need to look at some first-hand accounts of addiction. Find an influence who has struggled with substance abuse in the past and see how they talk about it!

Variables!

Remember to keep their geographical location, socioeconomic status, time, and a host of other factors. If your character is a penniless alcoholic then it's unlikely they'll get their hands on some type of expensive gin. They'll probably use rubbing alcohol. Keep the price of your drug in mind.

A character's status will also impact their slang. No one unironically says doobie anymore.

A character's location will also impact how they get their shit and how other characters will react to that addiction.

A character's financial status also impacts how the consequences of their actions impact them. A low-income character wont be able to afford the same medication as a rich addict. They also won't have the same luxury for quality therapy, rehab, programs, time, anything really.

Look At The Addict And The Loved Ones

Try not the skew the reality of addiction to paint the addict as the victim and the loved ones as evil for not being forgiving and tolerant enough.

Keep sympathy for both the addict and the loved ones. Or drop sympathy for both of those characters.

E) RESOURCES

FDA and DEA online databases and drug resources

Social Networking Groups

Medical Journals

Local medical professionals, police, and medical examiners

The US national poison center

[serenachika]

**Group Chat: Diagnostics Dept.**

**Cuddy:** "House, where are you? Clinic duty started at 9."

**House:** "Time is a social construct."

**Cuddy:** "You’re in your office watching *General Hospital*."

**House:** "I’m learning what not to do."

---

**Chase:** "Patient’s oxygen just dropped. We need a new plan."

**House:** "Did you try not killing them?"

**Chase:** "We’re serious, House."

**House:** "So am I. Break into their house yet?"

**Chase:** "That’s illegal!"

**House:** "So are your haircuts, Good thing you’re pretty."

---

**Cuddy:** "HOUSE. CLINIC. NOW."

**House:** "Can’t. I’m trying to diagnose Wilson with ‘whiners’ disease."

**Cuddy:** "That’s not a real thing."

**House:** "Neither is clinic duty."

—-

**Wilson:** "House, you can't keep breaking into my office and stealing my snacks."

**House:** "I call it 'foraging.' You should be proud, I'm like a bear in the wild."

**Wilson:** "No, you're like a raccoon in a dumpster."

---

**Foreman:** "Guys, patient’s vitals are tanking. We need input."

**Wilson:** "Did we rule out autoimmune?"

**House:** "Wilson, let me ask you something. How do you live with yourself? Between the haircuts and the optimism, it can’t be easy."

---

**Cuddy:** "HOUSE. WILSON. FOCUS."

**Wilson:** "Thank you, Cuddy."

**House:** "No, thank you, Cuddy. You just ruined his self-esteem pep talk."

**Wilson:** "I’m a *good* doctor, House."

**House:** "If you say it enough times, maybe you’ll start to believe it."

---

**Chase:** "Patient's complaining of blurred vision and numbness. Any thoughts?"

**House:** "Sounds like someone saw your shirt."

**Chase:** "What’s wrong with my shirt?"

**House:** "I’m not a stylist, but I’m pretty sure you're legally required to wear a warning sign with that thing."

---

Chase: “Patient has chest pain and blurry vision. Suggestions?”

House: “Sounds like someone looked at your résumé.”

Chase: “It’s serious, House.”

House: “So is your hair gel budget. What’s your point?”

—-

Chase: “If this doesn’t work, I’m blaming you, House.”

House: “Blame all you want, I live rent-free in your head.”

Chase: “You live rent-free in EVERYONE’S head.”

House: “And heart. Let’s not forget that.”

Chase: “Do you ever take anything seriously?”

House: “I took your last girlfriend seriously. For about two weeks.”

[Chase has left the chat.]

[robinsnest2111]

coming to terms with all the good and all the bad and all the incredibly ugly parts of growing up with emotionally distant, frustrated, overwhelmed, easily upset, easily enraged, sometimes violent as a last resort parents who still tried the best they could with what little they had at their disposal can be something so difficult and painful

[pibsboots]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

[cherryredcheol]

"baby"

tldr: all the way seungcheol uses your nickname a/n: this has been written and waiting to be posted forEVER but i'm finally ready (i am down horrific for this man)

seungcheol x reader fluff wc: 1k

reprimands: to make sure you know he's yours

“baby.” his tone is firm, controlling. he thought it would be a good idea to invite you to his shoot today, thinking you'd like to see him in the expensive clothes he was always put in for cover shoots. what he didn’t account for was you pouting over the friendly makeup artist assigned to him for the day. 

“don’t pout. you know i only have eyes for you.” he was trying to reason with you but his patience was wearing thin. you were being difficult on purpose and he couldn’t really do anything about it given the need to protect his image and act as professional as possible. you just huffed, frown settling deeper on your face. 

“you’re being a little unreasonable,” based on the look you gave him that was the completely wrong thing to say to you. he turned when he heard them call for him from set. it was time to shine. he walked over to where you sat, bending down to meet your eyes, “if you’re good for the rest of the day i’ll reward you when we get home, baby.” 

whines: when he doesn’t have your attention

“baby,” he could hear the pathetic tone in his voice but he just couldn’t help it. he’d had a long day of meetings and listening to presentations, the only thing keeping him going was knowing that you would be waiting at home for him when it was all over. you’d look at him with your soft eyes and dote on him all weekend, just how he liked. now here he was, waiting to be coddled and you were too busy giggling at your phone to spare him a glance. 

“what could be so entertaining on the phone that you can’t spend time with me?” he was laying it on thick but he was desperate at this point, especially when his question was only answered by another tittering laugh that was still not directed at him. at this point, he was fed up. he craned his neck to see what had you all giggly. 

“oh my god. you’re kidding me!” he couldn’t believe his eyes. playing on your phone was an edit of him from the most recent gose episode. the clip wasn’t even his best moment in the episode, but he did look quite handsome that day so he can’t blame you for watching. he still really wanted to be fussed over, “seriously, put your phone down. i’m much cuter in person, baby.” 

cat-calls: as you walk by in his favorite dress

“baby!” he called out to you, dragging out the ‘y’ sound. you paused, stopping in the middle of the bedroom as you crossed from the closet to the ensuite bathroom. he was seated on the bed, tying his shoelaces when he caught sight of you in the soft pink sundress he loved so much. you looked at him with big, curious eyes, wondering why he had stopped you in the middle of getting ready for your date in the park. 

“spin for me.” he got up from the bed and reached for your hand. he held it up, above your head and twirled you in a circle, eyes taking in every inch of you. he was excited to have a picnic with you but now he was considering scrapping the whole thing to stay behind. seeing you in a sundress always did something to him. 

“you’re so beautiful,” he was full of compliments, making sure you knew exactly how beautiful he thought you were. he considered himself a lucky man every day he got to spend with you. he supposed his desire for you could wait a few hours. he should spoil you rotten with a date in the park, before spoiling you in bed. “sure you really want to go out, baby?”

admires: because he’s proud of you

“baby,” his voice is soft, eyes even softer as he cups your face. he’d just gotten home from his schedule and you’d greeted him at the door, immediately sharing the news of your promotion with him. it was a small, mostly lateral move, with a tiny raise but you were still excited to share the news with him. he kisses you deeply, trying to convey his pride to you wordlessly. 

“i should tell my mom. she’s going to be so happy for you.” this made you blush. you knew he’d be proud but you didn’t really expect him to be so happy that he’d want to tell everyone. it wasn’t even a big deal. you begged him not to call his mom right that moment and instead conceded to a spontaneous celebratory dinner at your favorite restaurant. 

“i’m so proud of you,” this was now the sixth time he told you this since you shared the news with him, the second on the car ride to the restaurant. you blushed every time he said it, and had asked him to stop, to which he refused. in fact, he had doubled down. he threatened to have a cake brought to the table at dinner if you tried to silence him again. at a red light, he fished his phone out of his pocket, handing it over to you, “call my mom, for real. i want us to share the news with her. she’s going to be so proud, baby.”

barks: on accident

“baby!” the name came out harsh, frustrated. you’d never heard it that way before; this time, it wasn’t even directed at you. the dressing room fell silent and you watched the blush creep up his neck. the boys were never going to let him live this down. he turned from you, the conversation you were having before he went on stage now gone from his mind. 

“sorry, i meant to say ‘seungkwan’”. he was trying to save the situation but it was awkward. not only had he tried to reprimand his members but he’s accidentally used your name to do it, embarrassing himself in front of his members, staff, and you. what was once a bustling hub of movement and concert preparation came to a screeching, uncomfortable halt at his faux pas. 

“we know you like seungkwan, but we didn't know you liked him that much, hyung.” jeonghan broke the tension saving his leader and ushering in some polite laughter. the commotion slowly began again and he turned back to you. his face looked normal, probably due to the makeup, but his neck was bright red. he was flustered, “they’re never going to let this go, baby.”

[lxkeee]

HEAVEN AND BACK!

—PART TWO

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Alastor's Mom! Angel! Reader

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Genre: Romance, love at first sight.

Warnings: none.

Notes: this one is comparably shorter than chapter one.

PART ONE | PART THREE

Lucifer was absolutely baffled, so many things happened in one day. First, a very gorgeous and tall seraphim angel decided to come and stay at the hotel to oversee its progress and on top of all that, the said angel is that damn radio demon's mother.

Lucifer watches as the angel, who he learned that goes by the name [y/n] is still currently scolding her son. Him, Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, and Husk are at the bar area just watching it unfold.

Alastor sitting on the couch, head hung low in shame but there's still a smile on his face.

“So... You killed your father and many more? And also ate them....?” [y/n] asked, disappointed in her voice. Alastor's deer ears lay flat as he remained seated as he listened to his mother.

“Oh god, my son is a cannibal!” [y/n] cries, Niffty wiping away her tears as [y/n] carried the smaller girl in her arms—how did it happen? She just somehow was raising her arms for uppies while the taller woman was scolding her boss and the older woman just did so without thinking and carried her and then resumed to scolding Alastor.

“But they deserved it, mother! He deserved it for—” Alastor tried to defend himself, his smile strained.

[Y/n]'s own smile widened, eye twitching, “Who said you could speak? My own son is talking back to me!” she cries, smiling through the tears, her wings puffed up in anger and Alastor shuts up his mouth immediately.

“Where did I go wrong in raising you? I didn't raise you like this.” [y/n] sobs, Niffty handing her a handkerchief where the taller woman accepted and used it to blow her nose.

“Yikes.” Lucifer muttered in amusement as he sipped his dry martini while watching the angelic woman continuing to scold Alastor. Now that's my kind of woman. He thought before almost choking his drink. Hold up. What is wrong with him today? He barely knew the woman and he is already thinking like this.

“You okay there pal? I'm pretty sure you almost choked on your drink.” Angel Dust laughs and Lucifer just glares at him.

Charlie giggles beside him excitedly, “Isn't it amazing? Alastor reunited with his mom! And heaven finally decided to help us!” Charlie squeals and Vaggie hums in agreement.

“Well... It surely isn't a happy one as smile's is getting scolded even more.” Angel Dusts laughs and Husk chuckles behind the counter.

Back to the mother and son, Alastor is finally done with seeing his mother cry. He hugged her in which the older woman was weakly hitting his chest while she sniffled. Niffty being pressed in-between the two. She's just glad to be there.

“I am sorry, mother. I'm still your son.“ Alastor says softly and [y/n] sniffled against her son's embrace.

“I'm still mad at you.” she says, and Alastor's smile widens every slightly, “I know.” he says with a grin before getting his forehead flicked once more by his mother, making him winced in pain. [Y/n] gently lowering Niffty down to the floor. Lucifer and Husk snickering at the bar area.

[Y/n] pouted as she finally left her son's embrace, “And here I was waiting in heaven for so long wondering what's taking you so long and only for you to be here in hell? My goodness...” [y/n] sighs, pinching her own nose, her other hand on her hip.

“My bad.” Alastor says with a grin and [y/n] sighs, wiping the tears away from her eyes then clapping her hands together and a smile is back on her face as she turns around to look at the other hotel crew.

“Well, I suppose that is over. I am sorry for the scene I've caused, this young man right here is to blame.” [y/n] deadpans, pointing her arms towards Alastor who was lounging on the couch, he just gave a thumbs up.

[Y/n] sighs, shaking her head. “Back to business, I myself am not really sure why Sera decided to change her mind but she's my boss so... I don't really have a choice.” [y/n] says with a shrug, smoothly lying to them and the others just look at her with a slight deadpanned expression.

“I will be staying here for the time being, Sera didn't exactly say for how long...” She says before her eyes widened, Sera really didn't tell her how long she'll be here.

“I am starting to wonder if I accidentally got myself kicked out of heaven.” She muttered and Lucifer snickered slightly, looking at her with an amused smile on his face.

“Well if that's the case, there's a space made just for you in hell.” Lucifer says smoothly and [y/n] smirked, “My... Special treatment for lil' ol' me by the king of hell himself? It would be an honor.” she says with a small smirk, approaching the bar area and standing in front of the sitting man, looking down on him.

“I feel like they're each other's types.” Angel Dust whispers to Vaggie in which he gets elbowed to the side by the fallen exorcist.

Alastor's eye twitched in annoyance as he watched the scene unfold, not my mother. Speed walking to the two, Alastor held his mother's shoulders protectively and slid her away from the king of hell.

“Alastor, dear... I can handle myself.” [y/n] chuckles and Alastor just smiled, though his smile strained a little bit. Clearly annoyed how the king of hell is getting smooth with his mother.

“I'll be showing my mother around and show her to her room. Please excuse us.” Alastor says as he gently drags [y/n] with him upstairs with Niffty following the two.

The others just watched in amusement, still hearing the two's slowly muffling voices as they left the room.

“Mama please, he's the king of hell. Why are you already getting so chummy with him?” Alastor's muffled voice can be heard as they walk away.

“Have you seen him, Alastor? Heaven's scrolls didn't do him any justice, he's gorgeous!” [y/n] says with a laugh and a followed groan from Alastor. Their voices can no longer be heard as they were getting farther and farther away.

Angel Dust nudges Lucifer and wiggles his eyebrows at the short king, the arachnid teasing the man as he can really see Lucifer's flustered cheeks.

“You two looked nice together, you better shoot your shot.” Angel Dust says with a smirk which prompted Lucifer to stammer.

“Huh? What? I just met her for God's sake!” Lucifer says, pulling his collar away from his throat as he awkwardly chuckles.

“Please... Everyone can see you were eyeing her like a piece of candy.” Husk says gruffly behind the counter, scoffing.

Lucifer blushed, nervous that he wasn't slicked at all.

“Can't blame him to be honest.” Charlie says with a chuckle as she sipped her wine. Vaggie just rolls her eyes playfully, “Still, she's suspicious.” she says and Angel Dust scoffs, “Please, when are you not? Besides, if you ever end up right, I'm sure short king over here can handle her.” He says with a shrug before smirking at Lucifer, “Just admit you were admiring the sexy angel lady, couldn't blame ya toots!” he giggles.

“I wasn't... You guys are just seeing things.” he deadpans, his ears tinted pink. His daughter, Maggie, Angel Dust, and Husk just gave him a raised eyebrow. Clearly not believing him in the slightest.

“Whatever you say, short king.” Angel Dust says in amusement.

TAGLIST:

@adaizel @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @thedarkkitten @selvyyr @froggybich @brithedemonspawn @kottenox @totallymitya @many-fandoms-lover @dou-dou @mezzyb0nb0n @n1chxyaaenthusiast @cherry-4200 @koirb @galaxyj3lly @crystalplays28 @luleck @scootinonyourmom @rory-cakes @mixplara @crescent-z @bitchyzombienacho @kalisha2004 @altervex @nehy019 @napbatata @kouyoumarryme @sxgacxbe @kooidoom @yukichan67 @apple-pop @akiralovespenguins @storydays @kaurochika @amphiroxx @lil-writer-523 @punching-pentagrams @moonlovers34 @h3110kitty0 @bethleeham @hcneyiced @ashleygryffindor @ghostdoodlen @sleepdeprived-barelyalive @cupidsgift @shilladodo

[hiveswap]

Summary of The Cat of The Year poll atrocities of 2023/2024

I'm sure that most people on this side of tumblr have seen the Jellie vs. Nefarious Anglerfish poll going around with like 60k votes at this point, and I'd really like clear up some of what happened since I was around for the whole thing.

Url blocked out for op's privacy. They have already left but don't look for it if you haven't seen it/don't harrass them if you already have.

1. The previous round (preparation)

I discovered the poll in its previous round, needless to say she beat Jort's ass severely. This was around the 3rd of january, meaning that this round finished before jellie's passing with only about 7k votes. Op did add their own piece of propaganda from their main:

...which was FINE. (except for stuff we'll see later) Of course running a poll while biased isn't ideal but I for one didn't even know they were the op until much later. I also added my own piece in a separate thread, and they didn't interact with it at all. There was no drama.

2. The Finale

Jellie unfortunately passed away right before the starting of this poll, which was the catalyst for what happened next. Op did exactly as last time and added a slightly more mean spirited encouragement to vote for the other contestant. This is the point where I believe that i fucked up personally.

I added this thinkpiece accusing op of associating all mcyters with Dream (who we all hate for the record) despite them not alluding to him at all. This is because tumblr has a history of disimissing all mcyters as... everything that dream was been accused of. Op did allude to not caring for mcyt. but they didn't say what i accused them of. This is important to point out because this reblog of mine is still being spread. Jellie was in the lead at the time, but not by the time i woke up next morning.

I won't be including anyone else's additions because I don't want to put blame on any specific person. Just felt like clearing up mine.

3. The Fuckening

Some time later op made this post to their personal blog:

which is insanely shitty because, as other people have pointed out, the "lame ass youtube cat" didn't die to inconvinience op or ruin their fun, and people would have probably voted for her anyway because jelly is universally beloved in the mcyt community. This isn't anti democratic. This post was added to the poll with a caption saying op should not be running this poll, and it took off. Op later went on to say that this was a joke:

This apology was not taken well by people, (including me) because "you were not meant to see it" isn't an apology and they still very much made fun of someone's pet dying. Safe to say this did not make the drama stop and only added fuel to the flame. I believe this was the point where the conversation of mcyt fans being unjustly sent hate to was reignited.

We should discuss that! it's a real thing that happens often and is equal to childish bullying. However, in this case, OP was the only one getting sent hate to my knowledge. The notes were mostly saturated by mcyt fans, and even now i can only find one or two hateful stance towards us under the whole 20k notes post.

4. Conclusions

Op posted a second apology to the catoftheyear blog to try and calm people down (i believe this is comprehensive and a lot better than the previous one) The blog was deactivated shortly after, so i only have my phone screenshots of it that i also added to the poll itself at some point:

(Edit) Here's proof that op did not write the justification they got criticised for, from the notes of the original poll:

This apology didn't get seen, or get accepted by enough people, so op made this statement on their personal:

Needless to say I am deeply dissapointed (and guilty) that it's come to this. Yes, op said tasteless things that made us all angry, but telling a human being to commit suicide is worse than being insensitive about a stranger's pet dying. Even after I posted about the blog being decatived i had someone come into my notes to wish that "they never find happiness" i mean wtf. This isn't like shipping where we can do whatever without the content creator's input. this is fucking harrowing and i can't imagine how i'd feel if this was done in my/my pet's name especially after losing them as recently as a week ago.

I hope no one from hermitcraft who is on here (let alone scar holy shit) learns about this like they did with previous lighthearted tournaments. If you truly respect the creators you claim to be a fan of as people, you do not tell people to kill themselves over them. And finally, let Jellie fucking rest, guys. she had a long, good life. I hope op can come back and also avoids behaving like this if they ever wish to do so. I'm angrier at mcytblr, though.

[cntloup]

18+ MDNI Price punishes you for teasing him

"get back here!" he shouts, eyes burning with rage and you let out a yelp as soon as his big rough hand grasps your arm and pulls you closer to him after chasing you around the dining table where you were running from his wrath.

the lads were invited over for dinner and you couldn't help but relentlessly tease john, running a hand over his thigh under the table, going higher and higher, dangerously close to his crotch only to pull back and go on with your conversation with the boys as if nothing happened.

but you couldn't help yourself as a surge of deviousness bubbled up inside you, and you'd blame the booze for it...

and as night carried on, your hand slowly made its way to the side of his thigh, making john clear his throat and give you a massive side-eye as in telling you to back off.

but it only encouraged you to go on and with a mischievous smirk, you snaked your hand over his thigh, landing on his crotch and lightly massaging, making his breath hitch in his throat mid convo.

so you made him just sit there with a boner, droplets of sweat forming on his forehead as you continued stroking his aching cock over his pants while he conjured up all his might to stifle his moans until they finally left and that's how you ended up in this position.

you try to squirm out of his grasp only for him to tighten his arms around you, "where do you think you're going, doll? huh?! you have to pay for what you did!" he rasps out, his gravelly voice and firm tone sending a wave of heat down your core.

he pulls you over his lap and tugs your skirt up to reveal you have no panties on, "you dirty girl!" he hisses and raises his hand, only to land a big rough palm on your ass, making you yelp in a mixture of surprise, pain and pleasure.

he goes on with his brutal strikes on the plush of your ass until the stinging sensation on your burning skin is too much so you start to squirm away only for him to pull you back onto his lap. you're a whimpering and crying mess at this point, drool and tears running down your face.

"you're gonna behave now? huh?!" he demands as his middle finger travels lower to your slit, teasingly stroking your velvety, weeping folds.

"yess! pleaseee!!" you plead desperately, "please what?" he asks in a teasing tone, knowing exactly what he's doing, "please fuck me!!" you whine and a moan escapes you as his finger pushes past your folds and moves devastatingly slow to reach deep inside you, but not quite where you need it.

"pleasssee! i need... i need your cock!!" you continue whining, making him spank you again, "you take what i give you!" he snarls and suddenly inserts two thick fingers inside you, harshly sliding in and out, nearly making you forget what you were whining about.

he rolls and scissors his fingers inside you, rough calloused digits dragging against your sensitive walls, stroking the sweet spots deep inside, pushing every button to elicit keen mewls and whimpers from your drooling lips while your head spins with the dizzying pleasure.

"i-i'm close..." you breathe out through the euphoric fog encompassing your brain and as the apex of pleasure nearly approaches and you can feel it within your grasp, it's taken from you as a cruel punishment when he removes his fingers and you cry out and whine at the sudden loss, begging him to fill you up again.

he ends up edging you so cruelly for what feels like hours until you're sobbing and begging, pawing at him in pure desperation and finally.... finally he gives you that sweet release, and you cum heavily around his thick fingers, glazing his skin with your pearly cream.

he licks your sweet taste off his fingers and makes you suck on them afterwards, watching you through half-lidded eyes, blown-out by lust as you suck and slurp on your own juices and his saliva.

he pulls you up by your waist to sit you on his lap, "what am i gonna do with you?!" he asks with a playful smirk and grabs your jaw to kiss your lips... it's gonna be a long, long night.

[vbecker10]

Language (Part 6 - Final)

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: Captain Rogers thinks you curse far too much at work so he came up with a way for each word to cost you fifty cents no matter where you are in the Tower. You are desperate for it to stop and go to Loki to see if he has a spell or trick that can help you outsmart J.A.R.V.I.S.

Warnings: swearing lol... obviously?

A/N: Thank you everyone who read this series! I'm sorry this last part took me so long to get to but I hope you all love it!! 💚💚 I'll be working on finishing the Night Nurse now then going back through my requests! 🙂

You watch anxiously when Thor pulls away from his younger brother. "Remove the spell from Y/N," the God of Thunder demands.

"To do that I will need the vial," Loki counters and takes another step forward, closing the distance between them. Loki reaches for it but Thor pulls his hand away, holding it just out of reach.

If you weren't so concerned about the safety of the vial, you might be able to appreciate how much they simply look like bickering brothers and not two Gods arguing over your voice.

Tony steps in, "Thor, give it back to the sea witch."

Loki glares at Tony, "I do not have the patience for you today tin man."

He looks back at Thor and without a word, he flicks his wrist, sending his seidr towards his brother. The green cloud surrounds his hand in an attempt to pull the vial free but Thor clenches his hand and pulls violently against Loki's magic.

"Stop!" Natasha yells.

Your eyes go wide and you cover your mouth with both hands as the vial slips free from Thor's grasp. Loki's seidr doesn't react fast enough and the small glass vial falls to the floor at the older Asgardian's feet, shattering into pieces.

You lower your hands slowly, watching the cloud of gray smoke quickly evaporate into nothing before you can even think to move. Your hand runs slowly up and down your throat, vaguely listening to the reactions of the team around you.

"Y/N... I did not think... I am so sorry-" Thor tries to apologize but you don't look at him.

"No... this was not supposed to happen," Loki runs his fingers through his hair, his expression full of guilt and concern but in an instant he becomes angry. "Thor! I told you not to touch the vial, why do you never listen to me? Look what you have done!"

"What I have done?" Thor asks, taking a step towards his younger brother. "None of this would have happened if you hadn't been so reckless with your magic."

Your attention finally shifts from the broken glass to the two Gods. Walking between the brothers, you interrupt their argument. You point angrily at Thor and ask, "Why the fuck couldn't you just listen to Loki, for once!? All you had to do was not touch the damn thing and you fucking broke it!" Your mouth moves quickly and you breathe harder but you don't make a sound. You turn to look at Loki and slowly mouth, "I never should have trusted you. I knew you were fucking useless."

Loki lowers his head, putting his hands behind his back to fidget with them while Thor rubs his beard, trying to think of something to say to you.

"Y/N, don't worry," Natasha says, keeping her voice calm and level as she pulls you into a supportive hug. Over your shoulder she glares at the trickster, "Loki is going to fix this."

"Damn right he is," Tony agrees angrily. "How the hell could you have screwed up this badly?"

"I do not see why all of the blame is being put on me," Loki takes a small step away from the team. "Thor is the careless oaf that dropped the vial after I specifically instructed him not to touch it."

"I was just trying to help Y/N," Thor defends his actions.

"As was I," Loki argues back.

"By stealing her voice?" Clint asks.

"I will remind you one final time, I did not steal anything," Loki clarifies. "How was I to know someone," he glares at Thor, "Would be foolish enough to disregard my very direct warning and break the vial?"

"What was the plan then?" Bruce asks as everyone gathers closer.

"It was supposed to be a simple trick. We thought once you saw the lengths Y/N went through to avoid swearing, Captain Rogers would turn off that ridiculous computer program to appease her," Loki explains and you nod along as he speaks, confirming that was the plan. "As soon as it was off, I was going to return her voice."

Loki turns to face you, "I am truly sorry Y/N. I never meant for this to happen-"

Steve interrupts Loki's apology, "I can't believe you trusted him to do this Y/N, you know how unreliable he is. Who's to say he would have given you your voice back even if this didn't all go to sideways?"

"Whatever other sea witches do when they steal voices," Bruce mumbles.

"Of course I would have honored our agreement. What would I do with Y/N's voice?" Loki asks.

"I am not a sea witch," Loki reminds them all angrily. "I am a god you pathetic mortal," he looks directly at Bruce who takes a step behind Clint.

"So if you weren't going for the shittiest impression of Ursula possible, why the hell would you take her voice if you knew it could be lost so fucking easily?" Tony swears at Loki.

Before Loki can answer, J.A.R.V.I.S activates three times in close secession. Each time it says, "Tony, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck as you are in violation of SHIELD's Inappropriate Language Policy, per Captain Rogers' orders."

"Oh, shit," Clint says and J.A.R.V.I.S charges him a second time. "Steve your little project is going rogue."

"What the hell was that?" Clint asks, looking at the holographic display.

"Clint, fifty cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck as you are in violation of SHIELD's Inappropriate Language Policy, per Captain Rogers' orders," J.A.R.V.I.S. announces.

Steve ignores the computer and Clint, grabbing Loki by the collar with one hand, "You will help Y/N and you will do it now. Is that understood?" You look quickly between Steve and Loki, biting your lip nervously.

"I may have a spell that can restore her voice," Loki pulls himself free from Steve and straightens his clothing. "But I cannot think with all of you swearing at me and threatening me."

"I haven't started threatening you," Tony says.

"Maybe you'll think faster if the hulk was around," Bruce adds, finding his confidence once more.

"That is not necessary," Loki says, his expression switching from annoyance to nervousness at the mention of the hulk.

"Then you better start fucking thinking," Tony says.

J.A.R.V.I.S activates, charging Tony again.

"If you wish for me to think here, I must insist you silence that useless program," Loki waves his hand at the holographic display.

"Steve, seriously shut that damn thing off," Tony says to the captain as J.A.R.V.I.S repeats the announcement.

Steve groans, "Fine. J.A.R.V.I.S, disregard SHIELD's Inappropriate Language Policy."

J.A.R.V.I.S confirms the order from Steve.

"Are you happy now?" Steve asks Loki, his arms folded across his chest.

Loki asks, "It has been turned off for everyone?"

"Yes," Steve nods.

"Even Y/N?" Loki looks over at you.

"Yes, not that it matters unless you can figure out how to get her to talk again," Steve answers.

A smirk creeps across Loki's lips and you take a step towards him. "I can't believe that worked," you tell him.

"I told you it would work," Loki responds proudly.

(This morning)

"Ah brother, what a pleasant surprise," Loki smiles when he opens the door to a very confused looking Thor.

"Um... it is?" Thor asks, immediately feeling concerned by the God of Mischief's greeting.

"Of course," he opens the door wider and gestures inside the apartment. "Won't you join Y/N and me for a moment?"

"Okay..." Thor shrugs as he enters Loki's apartment. "Wait, Y/N is still here?"

"Morning Thor," you wave at him from the couch. He looks from you back to his brother and you don't miss the smirk of approval he gives Loki. You push aside the awkward feeling that Thor assumes you've slept with his brother and ask him to sit.

"I would prefer to stand, if you don't mind," Thor refuses your suggestion politely. "I sense my brother is playing some game with me and I am not willing to relax quite yet."

Loki smirks, "You are finally becoming more perceptive, but you are not the intended victim this time."

"I'm not?" Thor asks, his shock obvious in both his voice and his expression.

You try not to laugh, knowing he probably walked in here expecting the worst. "We need your help to pull off our plan actually," you tell him.

"I would love to help you, Y/N," he replies then he looks at Loki, "But I am not sure I want to help him."

"That hurts brother," Loki's smirk doesn't fade. "Would it change your mind if we offered a trade for your assistance?"

"I'm listening," Thor answers cautiously.

"I know where your wallet is," you tell Thor.

"I believe you have something of mine," Thor holds his hand out towards his younger brother. Loki nods and with a flick of his wrist, the missing wallet appears in a flash of green in Thor's open palm. The older Asgardian frowns, "Where is my money?"

"The deal was for me to return your wallet," Loki grins. "Which I have. You did not specify that you wished to have your money returned as well."

"I assumed that would have been obvious," Thor groans and tucks his empty wallet safely away.

"Wait... so the three of you planned this whole thing just to get Y/N out of being charged for swearing?" Steve asks, placing his hands on his hips in annoyance.

"Midgardians have a saying about making assumptions, I believe," Loki says and you roll your eyes at him. He chuckles and adds, "Consider it a charitable contribution to Y/N's swearing fund."

"Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me," Tony says, throwing his hands in the air.

"I only wanted my property returned to me," Thor insists, holding his hands up and taking a step away from you and Loki to avoid any blame.

"And what's your excuse, Laufeyson?" Steve turns his attention to the God of Mischief.

"Do I need one?" Loki doesn't seem phased by Steve and Tony's disapproving looks.

"You know you are not permitted to use your magic on any member of SHIELD or Stark Industries," the captain reminds him of the rules. "This was reckless and-"

"He was just trying to help me out," you cut off Steve and offer a defense for Loki which only brings everyone's focus back to you.

"By using his magic to trick us into overriding a SHIELD policy?" Steve asks you.

"Yeah..." you fidget with your fingers nervously. Loki might have been prepared to face the wrath of the team as calmly as ever but you hadn't thought this part of the plan all the way through. You had been focused on having the swearing policy reversed and not much else.

"Y/N," Tony says your name and you can hear the disappointment in his tone. He folds his arms across his chest. You recognize his expression, it means he is getting ready to deliver a long speech about how he expects better from you.

"I... well..." you stumble over your words then makes eye contact with Loki for a brief moment. He looks towards the door and back at you, signaling that it is time to go. "Well, this was a lot of fun but I've got shit to do... somewhere else."

You barely register that J.A.R.V.I.S is still quiet as the two of you quickly move towards the exit. Loki pushes open the door, ignoring Steve and Tony telling you they are not done with either of you yet. He laughs when the sound of their voices is cut off by the door closing and walks with you towards the elevators.

"You played your part excellently," he complements you, pushing the call button. "You are a natural trickster."

"Thanks," you feel yourself blush and look down, hoping he doesn't notice your red cheeks. "You and Thor were pretty good too."

"My brother has his uses," he says. "But do not tell him I said so," he adds quickly, looking at you.

"Oooh, I'm definitely gonna tell him," you laugh.

"Turning you into a frog is still on the table," he says with a wicked grin.

"I think you would hate that more than I would," you smile back and he furrows his brows in confusion. "I'd just hop along after you all day and sit on your pillow, ribbiting in your ear while you tried to sleep. You would turn me into a human again in no time," you snap your fingers.

He laughs at your response and shakes his head, "It seems I need to find a new way to threaten you, hmm?"

"Yeah... or you could just be nicer to me," you shrug.

"I'll think about it," he smirks.

"Don't try to act like I'm not your best friend after last night," you say sarcastically.

The doors to the elevator finally open. You step inside first and select the floor your office is on. Loki doesn't move to select the floor his office, apartment or training room are on and you realize he is following you.

"That reminds me... your question from earlier this morning," he says when the doors close. You turn to face him, remembering when you asked if you were friends now or something you hadn't defined yet. "I do not wish to be your friend," he informs you and you look at your shoes before you have a chance to read his expression.

"Oh... Okay, yeah, that's fine," you feel your heart sink in your chest. You knew you shouldn't have gotten your hopes up that Loki would still want to be around you. He had done what he promised and aggravated the whole team in the process, that was good enough for him.

"I would very much like to take you on a date though," he says and you look up, seeing him smile at you.

"Wait, really?" you ask, sounding more surprised than excited.

He clears his throat, looking unsure of himself and asks, "Would that be something you are interested in?"

You smile and nod, his smile returning quickly, "Yeah, absolutely." You laugh when he relaxes and add, "But we need to work on how you phrase stuff cause it sounded like you were tired of being around me, not that you were going to ask me on a fucking-"

"Y/N, seventy five cents has been deducted from your upcoming paycheck as you are in violation of SHIELD's Inappropriate Language Policy, per Captain Rogers' orders," J.A.R.V.I.S. announces from a speaker in the elevator.

You look at the holographic screen that appears in stunned silence, the rest of your sentence lost. Loki chuckles and says, "It seems they not only reinstated your punishment but raised the rate per word."

"I can't believe this..." you shake your head in disbelief. "Ugh! This is fucking-" you feel a rant of swear words getting ready to be unleashed.

Loki's arm wraps around your waist and he pulls your chest flush to his, the swift action shocking you into silence. He smiles at you, cupping your cheek gently, still holding you close with his other hand on your waist. "I have thought of one more trick to help you," he says, his lips coming closer to yours.

You giggle nervously, "If you say anything about frogs..."

He laughs and shakes his head then clears his throat. "J.A.R.V.I.S, disregard SHIELD's Inappropriate Language Policy," Loki repeats Steve's order in the captain's voice and J.A.R.V.I.S confirms the command. In his own voice he says, "I am not sure how long it will take them to notice so you might want to get in all the swear words you can now."

"I knew you liked me," you smile up at him, his arm still holding you close to his chest.

"I tried very hard not to," he says, his fingers running gently down your cheek to your chin. He tilts your head slightly up and brings his lips to yours, kissing you deeply. You grip the fabric on the back of his shirt when he takes a step forward, pressing your back to the wall of the elevator.

The elevator stops much too soon and Loki smiles down at you when he breaks the kiss. As the doors open, you sigh and rest your head on Loki's chest, "I can't wait until Steve and Tony find me."

"Tell them to come speak to me," Loki runs his fingers through your hair.

You laugh, looking up at him, "Why, so you can turn them into frogs?"

"Would it make you feel better?" he asks as you walk out of the elevator together.

"A little," you tell him with a shrug and he grins mischievously.

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @mischief2sarawr @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @loreniscrying @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-asgard @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv @glitterylokislut @biodegradable-glitter-fest @wolfsmom1 @simone818283 @hopefuldreamers-world @blackhawkfanatic @slut4tonystark @dracoswhorexx @sunglasses-in-the-bentley @anukulee @latriacy @trojanaurora @babygirl-panda19 @catsladen @stargazer-luna @rcailleachcola @lunarlopt @gruftiela @bolontiku @scrumptious-finicky-illusion @lokischambermaid @clemthecustestmonster @lovinglokilaufeyson

[paperclip-skz]

The Good Idea.

fem*Reader x Han Jisung

*WARNING*

contains oral (f receiving), over-clothes stimulation, teasing, unprotected sex, Jisung finishes quickly, cream pie, and lingerie; I'm sure I missed something. This one was slightly rushed, but let me know what I missed in the comments!

WC: 3.9k

********

“So we had an idea.”

Felix strides into your office along with Changbin, Chan, and Minho, all with a grin stretching across their faces. This is going to be good. 

“Every time you guys come into my office and open with that,… its usually a bad idea.”

“Oh, it certainly is.” Minho keeps his hands slumped in his pockets, keeping his calm composure. 

They all take a seat facing you and your desk. You're seated comfortably, your computer shining with your most recent emails. Chan keeps his head down, but his smile remains. They’ve been planning something. 

“Hey, buuug,” Felix chimes, his cute nickname for you rolling off his tongue like fresh wine. 

He knows you can’t resist when he uses that nickname. It has resulted in many broken rules and policies and maybe a few nights where you’ve let some of the members sneak out of their dorms. 

“Just get to the point, Lix,” Chan tips. 

“Yeah, I want to see her reaction to this.” Minho sits cross-armed and stares holes into you. 

“Okay, so here is the idea. You know how Jisung's birthday is coming up.” You nod your head, following along. “We were thinking about hiring someone…as a treat to him.” 

“What like an entertainer? Like a singer.” 

“Not exactly, more so entertainer.” Chan finishes your thought. 

“Yea, like adult…entertainer.” 

Your eyes pop out of your skull. “Lee Felix Yongbok, are you suggesting you want to hire a stripper for Jisungs birthday?” you say in the calmest tone you can muster, which isn’t really calm at the moment.

“Kind of.” Felix’s face scrunches up in a defense to hide himself from your deadly stare.

You pinch the bride of your nose, anticipating the major headache this could cause. “Guys, I know you want to do something special, but you are still celebrities, and I am still your publicity manager, and you cannot imagine the headache it will cause if something like that got released to the public.”

You’ve been handling Stray Kids’s publicity projects for over a year. Something like this wasn’t a surprise, and you couldn’t blame them; even though they were singers and all-round gentlemen…they were still men. 

You’ve handled drunken nights, exes, hook-ups, and some crazy girls who believed they were “the one,” all before a single word got out to the public. Needless to say, you were pretty good at your job. That still didn’t mean you wanted to deal with something that could potentially get out, and if this got out….it could be bad. 

“Well, we have a way around that.” Changbin raised his eyes at you, quickly snaking his eyes from your chest down to your black pumps. 

This time, it was Chan’s turn to continue with this shameless idea. “They want to hire you.” 

If your eyes weren’t out of your skull before, they certainly are now, and your jaw is slacked as far as your desk. A shaky and breathless laugh leaves you. “You must be joking.” 

****************************

What the hell is happening? How did they convince you to do this? 

You were at your desk one day, and the boys were telling you about their stupid idea. Yet somehow, they convinced you with a single promise: They promised you a night with Jisung.

They knew you had a sweet spot for Jisung; you couldn’t describe it even if you tried. He had a way of making you smile or laugh at anything he did, and you loved the way he worked. How he could get so focused on his work, it was like the whole world fell away. 

So somehow, someway, they convinced you to do this. Now you were in the dorms…in Jisungs room…wearing nothing but your favorite lingerie set and a small laced mask. 

“I want a mask.” The boys questioned you; you could tell by the looks on their faces. “To at least hide a part of me. If I do this, I need to at least try to hide my identity somehow.” They agreed, nonetheless, as long as they got to choose the mask. You thought it was the most brilliant idea you could ever think of…however, you didn’t think about the mask they would choose. 

The mask did hide your face, but it was laced, which matched the sensual theme, but it did hardly little to hide your identity. If Jisung had really paid attention, he could have probably mapped out your features, but you wouldn’t give him the chance. If you were going to do this, you were going to do what you always did, do a damn good job. 

“So let me get this straight.” You take a deep breath, trying to calm your nerves and whatever is boiling inside you. “You don’t want me to strip…just dance?”

“Yeah, kind of. We want you to tease him.”

“We want you to do anything you are comfortable with.” Chan and Felix bounce off each other, shooting ideas and ensuring they aren't scaring you away. Why aren’t you scared away? They just asked you to strip tease one of your clients. Why does this ‘idea’ make you excited? 

“So I can choose how far I let this thing go?” you nod your head, and they nod along with you. If he never sees my face…he’ll never know it's me. 

“But I don’t even know what to do.”

“Just let your body carry you doll. Your mind will tell you what to do.” Binnie smiles at you. 

You could hear the distant chatter behind the door. Your heart is thumping out of your chest, and you keep swiping your palms across your thighs. You keep pacing the floor, back and forth, back and forth. You keep fiddling with the chair you so carefully placed in the center of the room, and your eyes keep darting from the chair to the nicely made bed. At least he keeps his bed nice. 

A slight knock makes you jump. “Can I come in?” You can’t tell who the voice belongs to, but it's soft and gentle. 

“Yes,” you respond, trying to sound sexy. 

Chan slowly peeks his head through and steps inside. “Jesus, Chan, you scared the crap out of me. Do you have any idea how nervous I am right now?” 

Chan’s face falls, and his demeanor changes from gentle to dominant in seconds as his eyes wander across your frame. His eyes are darker than the night sky outside the window, and his build suddenly stiffens. You’ve never been intimidated by Chan; you’ve only ever shown respect and admiration, but the way he stands tall and his chest heaves with every breath, you can’t deny that it makes your thighs clench. 

You are fairly covered. The hipster-style underwear you choose to wear hugs your hips but hides the most sensitive parts of your body. The matching stockings clip to the edge of the garments, and the whole outfit is complimented by the push-up bra-style top that does little to hide your breasts. You’ve left your hair down, and the mask brightens your eyes. 

“You look….breathtaking.” 

You can feel the warmth of the blush on your cheeks. You feel so exposed and bare that it makes you want to hide and be brave simultaneously. Chan notices your conflicted thoughts, and without warning, he walks up close to you. Now, his lips are only a few inches from yours. “You know, after this whole thing with Jisung, maybe you could pay me a visit on my birthday?” 

You both chuckle. “God, you are so beautiful,” he said, leaning his forehead against yours. You can feel his warmth, his scent, everything. You're consumed by it. It almost makes you forget why you're here. “And you smell so goddamn good…but today is Jisung’s day” Gently, he kisses your forehead, “Are you ready?” 

You step back, bashing your lashes up at him, and softly nod. Chan leaves the room to yourself, and you begin to get situated. You try to find a comfortable position in the room that makes you look cool and sexy, but it results in you panicking and pacing back and forth over the room, finding a new position every 10 seconds. 

The voices behind the door become louder, and then you hear a slight tap at the door. Quickly, you rush to sit on the bed, crossing your legs and leaning your arms on the bed. Your body is stretched out perfectly for display.

Jisung stumbles through the door, being pushed by his bandmates. You can hear them snicker and laugh until the door closes, leaving only you and Jisung in the room. You can see Jisung’s dazzling smile once he enters the room, but the second he makes eye contact with you, his smile falters, and his eyes grow darker. 

You try not to let your confidence waver as his eyes memorize your every feature. With the mask covering your face, your hair down, and the dim light in the room, there is no way Jisung can tell it's you. For all he knows, his friends have hired a random stranger to do a lap dance for his birthday. All you have to do is keep your confidence up, and he won’t notice a thing. Just keep this mask on, and you can do this. 

The second you lift your body to stand, you hear him curse under his breath. His body is completely frozen in place; he doesn’t make any move to step toward you or the chair in the room. “Hi Jisung,” you say. You’ve practiced how you would talk to him. You wanted your voice to sound husky, dark, and breathy…and you were doing just that.

His brows scrunch; he’s trying to place your voice somewhere. Your heart starts racing with adrenaline, shit he knows, “Hello, beautiful.” 

His face didn’t tell you much, so with that, you continue as if he doesn’t know a thing. You carry yourself to walk around the chair in the middle of the room, letting your hand seductively drag along the rim of the chair. Jisung picks up on your silent request and finally wills his feet to move. 

He sits quietly in the chair, his eyes never leaving your body as it walks around the room. 

“So what? I’m just supposed to dance?” 

“Yeah, just be sexy, you know.” 

Felix’s voice echoes through your mind. Just swing your body, should be easy enough…

Han

His knuckles turn white. His mind goes fuzzy. And his eyes can’t leave your hips. You’ve turned around, giving him a show of your ass swaying right in front of him. He wants to touch you, to squeeze that beautiful ass that you're teasing him with. He wants to pull you down onto his lap and grind himself on you. But most of all, he wants to hear your voice again. He swears he knows it, but he can’t place it anywhere. 

Maybe if you weren’t wearing that damn mask, I could pin you somewhere…or perhaps I could just pin you. 

You start to lower your body. Your hands prop yourself just above his lap. Inches, just inches away from his growing hard-on. 

You’ve done nothing but sway your body in a teasing matter; you haven’t made one move to touch him. “Did the boys tell you to tease me, or are you scared to touch me pretty?” 

You stand up slowly, only to turn around and prop yourself in front of him. Your ass is hanging in the air, and your face is right in front of him. He studies your eyes. Wait…He knows those eyes. He can’t ever forget those crystal eyes. How could he? Those eyes haunt his dreams and his nightmares. 

“They told me to tease you until you begged.” Your lashes fan at him, and Jisung swallows…hard. The way you're positioned right now gives Jisung a perfect view of how your tits practically spill out of your bra; he wills himself not to gawk at your exposed chest. 

“You want me to beg?” his tongue darts out to wet his lips. “Well, all you had to do was say so pretty.” Jisung shifts in the chair, suddenly acting like he’s getting comfortable. “Pretty please, miss… will you touch me?”

He sees your demeanor change, your breath caught in your throat, and your eyes widen with every word that leaves his lips. You didn’t think I’d actually beg.

Your hand glides up his chest carefully. It's like ice on burning skin, and you're not even touching his skin yet. The material of his shirt scrunches up into your hand, revealing a bit of his abs. Your eyes dart down, and your lower lip disappears between your teeth. “Want to see more pretty?” Your eyes snap back to him, his signature snarky smile taunting you. 

You lean back to stand up, and Jisung’s heart races again. Did he offend you in some way? Did he take his teasing too far? Did he talk too much?

Your body moves out of Jisung’s sight, walking behind him and the chair. Your hands are back on him, feeling out his shoulders and daring to venture to his biceps. His head rolls back as your touch sends him into a frenzy. 

A low hum leaves his throat. “Just focus on me baby.” His whole body shivers from the nickname, sending shockwaves down his spine. 

His eyes flutter closed, focusing on your hands moving around his body. All his other senses are on overdrive while your fingertips graze the outskirts of his shirt, daring to touch the little skin thats exposed. His body is filled with pent-up anticipation; he could burst and beg at any moment. Until your left hand expertly sneaks down the neckline of his shirt, touching his chest. 

Your touch is soft and gentle, but he can only imagine how sweet you smell. “Does that feel good, Ji”

The second that name falls from your lips, he knows who you are immediately. It might seem like a simple nickname, something one of his bandmates might use, but only one person on this earth says his name like that. Only one person who makes that nickname sound like a song, only one person who could send a warmth through his body with that nickname. “Y/N?” 

His eyes open when he no longer feels your hands on him. He’s afraid that you ran, disappeared, and all of this was just a dream. 

He stands up in a panic in front of the chair, staring at you. He sees your blown-out eyes and your shaky hands. He should’ve known. Now that he’s paying attention, he can see you clearly, even with the mask. How could he not have seen your perfect curves, shiny eyes, and even your lips—he’s studied those lips countless times. 

Your lips part, and your chest heaves, but Jisung interrupts you before any words escape. "Please, don't stop," he implores, locking eyes with you. His desperation is evident, and he's oblivious to how he sounds.

His look makes your stomach turn, and you match his eyes. “But- I-”

“Please,” Jisung whispers. 

Nothing but prayers cloud his mind, desperate for this moment to last. He knows he won’t do anything if you aren’t comfortable, but he is not above begging for what he wants. 

“Okay,” it doesn’t hold the confidence that you had, but it is confirmation—confirmation that Jisung needs. 

Seconds later, he’s back to sitting in the chair, his heart racing out of his chest. When he doesn’t feel your hand back to its original position, he comes up with an idea, “Would it help if my eyes were closed, like before?”

“Strangely, yes.” 

You

You should have known he would catch on quickly, but you didn't think he'd be that quick. When he said your name, you imagined the worst. You thought he would be disgusted, or worse, he would take advantage of the moment. But when he pleaded with you, pouting his lips, all you could think about was how those lips would feel on yours.

Once you could see Jisung’s eyes were closed, you placed your shaky hands back on his shoulders. The contact made him flinch, but as your hands ventured further down his torso, he melted into your touch. 

You could hear his chest hum as your fingertips felt every ridge and detail of his chest. You try to slip the confidence you once had back on, but it's different now. You're not some stranger to him anymore; he knows it's you, yet he didn’t tell you to stop. He begged for you to keep going. 

Something about that realization sets a fire in you. Your hands confidently slide down his torso. You can feel his abs flex under your palm when you press flatly on his stomach.

“You want me to touch you,” you whisper, ghosting his ear. The only response you get is a small whimper from him. Your flat palm snakes down to the already evident bulge thats tented his pants.

“Fuuuuuk,” Jisung breathes out. You can feel his length twitch in your hand, practically begging for attention. 

With more confidence inside you, your other hand sneaks its way to hold Jisung by the neck. You don't squeeze enough to block his breath but enough to have him whimpering in your grasp.

Before you knew it, your hands were sliding up and down Jisung’s clothed member, and Jisung was whimpering and wining with pleas. “Y/N, please” 

“Please, what Ji?” you breathe down his neck. 

“Please kiss me.” You didn’t notice that Jisung’s eyes were wide open now, his neck craned to look at you, staring down at your lips. 

Your shocked expression makes you suck in a breath, parting your lips only for Jisung to smash his lips in return. Jisung’s hand comes to the back of your head, deepening the kiss. 

He tastes like fresh water. A freshness you didn’t know you needed. You resisted falling for his large boba eyes, charming smile, and silly personality, but now you let those buried feelings pour into the kiss.

You can feel his free hand sneak its way to your waist, gently pulling on your skin. You break the kiss, blinking your lashes down at him. You can see his mind catching up to him, the gears ticking, and the worry that he took things too far. “Is- is this okay?” his voice is barely above a whisper. 

You don’t think to answer. Silently, you walk around the chair, coming face to face with him. You sit down on his lap, leaning into him, quickly, Jisung places his hands on your waist, tightening his fists on the delicate fabric that separates your bare core from him. 

“Is this a good enough answer for you?” 

******

If it weren't for your bleeding attraction for the man in front of you, your lips would be chapped and bruised from how much Jisung kept kissing and teasing them. 

Finally, you convinced Jisung to take your little make-out session to the bed, but not before he took his sweet time undoing the lingerie set you had on. Now you're naked on the bed, presented perfectly for a shirtless Jisung that stands before you, looking at you like your his last meal. 

He leans down to trail kisses from your lower stomach to the valley of your breasts, all the way where both of your lips meet. “Please, Ji.” You break the kiss enough to plead his name. 

“Please, what, Y/N?” You both let out a small chuckle. 

You bite your lip at your next words; you’ve gone this far, so why not farther? “Please fuck me”. 

His dazzling smile shines brighter than you’ve ever seen, “thought you’d never ask.” 

Before you know it, Jisung is pulling down his black sweats and boxers. His member springs free in the palm of his hand. You see the prominent veins and his red tip already dripping with a shine of precum. Impressive, you think to yourself, more than impressive, you're actually kind of nervous. With how nerdy and cocky he is, you didn’t think he be that big.

“Are you sure?” Your eyes shoot up to meet his expression. He must have read your thoughts like a projection board. You gulp, nod your head, and bring his shoulder closer to you. 

“Words sweets” 

“Yes, Ji. I’m sure. Please,” you beg. 

With one last kiss, Jisung is aligning his length with your core and slowly pushing in. Your walls stretch to take in the sheer girth of him. The both of you groan with pleasure, your folds slick with your wetness. 

Jisung doesn’t give you more than a second to relish in the feeling until he’s setting a steady pace. You can feel every fat inch expanding your gummy walls around every vein. You let every moan slip, your grip on his shoulders is unbearing, and you let your face fall in pure pleasure.

Jisung cannot get enough of you. The way you let yourself relish in this feeling, the way you let him see you like this, he knows it's too much. You're too much.  

“Y/N, I’m not gonna last long,” he doesn't have to tell you; you can already feel his hips quicken and his cock twitch inside you. 

You knew you could feel yourself getting closer, but you also knew you needed more. Nonetheless, even though you desired this as much as him, it's still his birthday. "It's okay, Ji, let go."

That was all he needed. Jisung whimpers your name as his climax rushes through him. Every nerve stands still on his body and his mind melts.

You try to chase your own high, but it runs faster than you can chase it. He continues with his uneven pace, pushing his white cum into you. 

A combination of apologies and praises leaves him like a breathy chant. “Ji, I told you it's okay. There's always next time,” you smirk. 

“No, no this isn't right.” like a flash Jisung is pushing you further onto the bed and pushing your thighs apart. He lines himself right in front of your dripping sex, he watches the remanence of his release slip out of you. 

You watch him with a shaky breath, until he meets your eyes, “Close your eyes, sweets, just let yourself go” and then you feel his warm muscles lick your folds. You close your eyes like you were told.

His tongue moves faster as he sucks on the small bundle of nerves, eager to pull more sounds from you. The pink muscle flicks and swirls around your clit, inching it further and further out from between your folds. His perfectly pouty lips wrap around the swollen bundle of nerves and sucks and pulls with a rhythm that sends your breath to hitch and freeze in your throat. 

Your walls are swollen, your clit is throbbing, and Jisung knows each and every button to push to get you so close. What sends you over the edge completely is the slender finger that Jisung pushes into you, angling it up to abuse your g-spot. You come crashing onto Jisungs hand with a loud moan. His lips shine as a victim of your release. 

“Now it's right.” 

Words dissolve on your tongue, but Jisung doesn’t expect you to speak. He climbs up the bed, swinging his arm around your middle and burring his head into the crook of your shoulder. Moments later, you're both asleep in each other's arms. 

I guess this was a good idea.   

[whetstonefires]

The reason I keep banging the Jiang Fengmian drum so hard is not that he did nothing wrong--he's definitely in contention for best parenting in this book but that bar is in the ground--but because most of the takes I see about him are so extremely bad.

If you want to slag him off for trying to make choices that would hurt no one, and winding up properly protecting no one as a result, that's valid! That's an interesting and text-based critique, which opens into his parallels with Lan Xichen!

If you want to blame him for being weirdly over-invested in Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng being bffs, that's fair, that definitely contributed to the weirdness between them. If you want to say he was a poor communicator, that he fundamentally misunderstood his son, that he failed to be emotionally available in a way his kids could get much use out of, even that he should have figured out a way to stop Yu Ziyuan from creating such a hostile environment, all of that is fair game!

If you want to tackle how the worst thing he did to his kids was die I am so interested in how Wei Wuxian went on to abandon A-Yuan by going to his death, and how that might be tied to how his primary adult role model tied him to a boat and went off to a fight he knew he was going to lose.

After his parents had already left him like that once before, presumably less intentionally.

But no, instead I keep seeing that Jiang Fengmian didn't care. That he never expressed affection. That he actively participated in Yu Ziyuan's fucky game of forcing proxy conflict onto the boys instead of constantly trying (and failing) to shut it down, or that he ignored her bad behavior because it didn't affect him, or that he fought with her constantly, or that he was too much of an unmanly coward to stand up to her when she wanted something.

All of which are directly in contradiction to every scene he's in, and several of which manage to invert or erase the actual conflicts between him and his wife that were the source of all that tension.

And which are really interesting, because some of the most intractable elements are ideological--Yu Ziyuan is fundamentally a conservative and Jiang Fengmian seems to want to be an egalitarian, which ofc matched poorly with his hereditary authority as patriarch of a large sect.

The fact that the bit where we get to actually see him failing to parent Jiang Cheng consists of him gently and firmly trying to correct Jiang Cheng's ethics when what was actually needed in that moment was reassurance for the well-founded insecurities that were causing him to be a little bitch, only for Yu Ziyuan to charge in and make everything fifty times worse, is so much more interesting than literally any version of this family dynamic I have seen in fic. It's to the point I'm relieved when writers kill Jiang Fengmian off, because it means they probably won't feel the need to character-assassinate him too badly.

The number of people I've seen come right out and say some variation of 'men can't be abused' is killing me here. No, Yu Ziyuan wanting to hurt her husband does not constitute sufficient proof that he abused her first and deserved it! That's not how anything works!

[paraphwrites]

followup on my post about dbda & loneliness.

'dead boy detectives' is a show where fundamentally, every character is very very lonely. but, they make each other less lonely. jenny is a surrogate parent for crystal, edwin and niko are always there for each other, crystal and charles understand each other, charles and edwin complete each other. there's just something so beautiful that even though they are all in pain and lonely, they are not alone, they have friends who would literally die for them.

i realized i was queer pretty young and in a very non-accepting environment. i was the only queer person i knew for a really long time, and that was really hard for me. and there was something devastatingly beautiful about watching edwin go through the a similar journey and not be alone.

dbda is important for a million reasons. but i would like to focus on one reason in particular.

'dead boy detectives' illustrates that there are multiple different ways to realize one's queer identity. you have simon, who is so wrapped up in self-hatred that he tears other people down with him. you have edwin, who is utterly unwilling to express any desire in such a way but ultimately embraces it. you have monty, who seems to have always known he was queer and always been very okay with that. you have charles, (i include him because i believe he is, but that can be debated) who goes on a long journey to realize it due to his circumstances. and they are all valid, and they are all real, and some of them hurt other people. because when the world hurts you so fundamentally, sometimes you end up hurting other people too. and you have people who have never had an issue with being queer, and that's great. and you have people who have to come to terms with it and it is hard and it is beautiful but they don't have to do it alone.

and that MATTERS. so often in media, we have a narrow, limited perspective for what realizing one's queer identity means. but there are so, so many different ways to figure yourself out, and dbda shows that in a very tangible and real way

the stories you tell are the stories we hear. so if @netflix only wants to tell stories about straight white people (maybe featuring a token gay character, so they can put it under the lgbt section), then that is the stories that people will hear

chimamanda ngozi adichie gave an incredible ted talk, back in 2009, called 'the danger of a single story.' in it, she discusses how, when you only tell & hear a singular story about a certain group of people, that becomes how you perceive the entire populace.

when a coming out journey is limited to its popular depiction (*realizes* *is kinda sad* *gets a bf*) then that is what all queer people are reduced to

look, i get that netflix has a couple of great shows featuring multiple queer characters, and i've watched & loved most of them. but god if i am not tired of people telling me to watch heartstopper. (i did & it's great & that's not the point.) the point IS that there should not be Two Gay Shows on your platform. because then the entirety of queer people are reduced to that.

now, maybe if it was just dbda, i wouldn't be so up in arms.

BUT THE FUCKING PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY ADAPTATION?????????????????????????????????

you CANNOT reduce queer people to shows that aren't worth renewing. you CANNOT erase queer characters from classic lit just because you want it to be more mainstream. when you do that, you are reducing queer identities to the single story you are willing to tell.

(to be clear i'm not blaming all of homophobia on netflix. i am simply pointing out a way in which they are contributing)

[ladybracknellssherry]

My favourite part about the magic show in 1941 is that they really just didn't need to do it. It was totally unnecessary. They're up there, their miracles aren't working... Crowley could have just said look Mrs. H sorry we suddenly have tuberculosis, here's a wad of demonic cash, I'll drop you off a case of the next batch of hooch from the gents in Whitechapel when it's ready. (Might they have been able to miracle the bottles fixed/miracled new bottles???? 😂😭)

But Aziraphale wanted to do his magic. He wanted to do it because he wanted to perform. And he wanted to do it to impress Crowley. And he wanted to do it to help Crowley out of his spot with Mrs. H. But in that human way he seems to like doing things (poorly.)

And Crowley wanted to let Aziraphale perform. Crowley wanted for them to work together doing something fun. He wanted to let Aziraphale feel like he was doing something for him because once he did that - once he could pay Crowley back for saving him from the nazis - they wouldn't owe each other anything. Anything else that happened for the rest of the night would just be them just spending time together.

And that was the real point. Crowley and Aziraphale just wanted to spend some time together. As friends. But it also felt like such a good opportunity to say look, you know this is more than that, right? Because if we were just friends we could fuck off and say we had TB and just spend the night drinking. But no. They risked Aziraphale actually getting discorporated.

And it’s so funny to me that the idea is we're here to help out Mrs. H and they're on stage and Aziraphale is like "yes just shoot past my ear where Mrs. H is standing" LMFAO It’s affirming that no matter what happened in Edinburgh, St. James Park, all of the pretence of the arrangement - this was 'Trust in me that I trust you." And "This isn't a transaction or matter of convenience and I'm acknowledging it." It is..."We're a team...a group...a group of the two of us." And leave it to these two turn a "seriously just point a loaded gun at my face and shoot" into a perfectly them coded 'I love you.'

But you know...if we go the face value route of the final 15 and not some other theory...

(i had to edit this part multiple times because i am apparently just as bad as crowley and aziraphale at finding the right words to explain emotions so there's a lot of variation in any of the reblogs you might come across) I think that's a huge part of what hurts Aziraphale so fucking much when Crowley says "we could have been us." It cut down this massive thing in Aziraphale because for a while now he'd thought they already were. They were. They have been. They are. And Crowley tries to say they are in his confession, but in his clumsy hurt he jumbles it all up with negations and subjunctives. He never manages to get the words out to say "stay and we can stop pretending we aren't" or "we are but not like this." He gives his same jump ship offer as in past panics as the only scenario in which "we could be us." An unrealistic scenario. Aziraphale believes he is presenting a realistic offer (if the final 15 is face value.) But Crowley rejects him. Then that already weak "we could be" so quickly becomes "could have been."

People need to stop blaming Aziraphale for how he reacted to the kiss because there was so much happening there. So many thousands of thoughts and feelings and questions and fears and so much pain. They’re complex characters and behave in complex ways.

[wolfiesmoon]

What a fate

Ran x good girl! reader

this is a part 2 to my fic "i can't sleep", dont worry i'm feeding ur families they will no longer starve. apparently people are really into ran considering how many notes that fic of mine got (and who can blame them honestly)

unrelated but i cant believe it took me this long to get into housewife radio by ghost i love the horror vibes because of course i do

You've had a turbulent few days recently. Ever since you agreed to do that stupid dare Ran hasn't left you alone.

He did promise to do so but you didn't think he was actually serious about "making you his". How could you let this happen?

Things turned out completely opposite to what you expected, though. Instead of dragging you to his gang meeting to beat the crap out of you, he's taking you there to threaten his lackeys that if they even so much as lay a finger on his girl (you), they'd feel hell on earth.

You suppose that it's nice that he wants to protect you but you feel extremely out of place and uncomfortable at a gang meeting of all places.

Your parents think you're studying at a library right now. Somehow, you feel like you're commiting a crime.

You also met his brother at that meeting.

It seems being a good-for-nothing delinquent runs in their family. You feel sorry for their parents. If they even have them.

"Wow, I would've never thought the nerd would be your type." Rindou teased Ran. Actually, maybe it was both of you he was teasing.

"She's the one that kissed me first." Ran smirked at you.

"You're the worst. Both of you." you furrowed your brows, not finding either of them amusing in the slightest.

"Your girlfriend hates you, man. Personally I would not put up with that." Rindou seemed disinterested, checking his nails as he said that.

"I am not his girlfriend, either!" you defended yourself but Ran just looked at you like he pitied you and Rindou looked like he didn't believe you.

"Right, okay, if you say so. You two have your lover's quarrel on your own. I'm going elsewhere." Rindou just casually left, leaving you all alone with Ran in an abandoned storage unit. Oh boy.

"Umm, I should get going- ack!" you felt your wrist getting grabbed, preventing you from leaving. There's your only exit up in smoke.

"Leaving so soon? But we haven't even had our fun yet." Ran smiled at you and you honestly felt scared at that moment. Oh no, you shouldn't have yelled back at him so daringly just now. Now he's going to beat the crap out of you and drop you off in front of your parents doorstep as a warning to never mess with his gang again.

He leaned in closer and you braced yourself for the pain, but instead of that you felt his lips on yours.

Kissing...?! Again?! Well, atleast it's better than a punch to the face... You can't believe it's come to a point where you're glad to get kissed by Ran.

But still, does he have to kiss you in the least romantic place possible? Even if you did have feelings for him you'd totally find this moment cringy.

"You suck at kissing." He comments heartily, pulling away.

"I'm not the one who kisses a new girl every day. Maybe I actually have some self-respect." You crossed your arms. He was your first kiss after all.

"Every night is an exaggeration. It's like, every week." You couldn't tell if he was joking or being serious, even if you saw his expression.

"Oh, wow. Glad to know that I'll get cheated on in about 3 days. Way to make your 'girlfriend' hate you less."

"I'll stop for you." He smiled.

"Uh huh, whatever." You rolled your eyes.

Though, his kisses are actually kind of making you.... No, no! Don't fall for that! You can't believe you almost admitted that you'd fall for him if he kissed you more.

.

"How's it going with your new boyfriend, girl?"

"God, do not call him that." You held your forehead in frustration.

"I think he's taken a liking to you." Your friend nudged you, pointing at Ran who was sitting on the other side of the cafeteria and smiling at you as he ate.

"Great." You said sarcastically, immediately looking away when your eyes met.

"See? It ended up well. Now you have a hot bad boy boyfriend." Your friend kinda wished she'd done it instead of daring you.

"Didn't I just... ugh! I don't think my parents would agree with you." You placed your forehead on the table, groaning. "You date him if you want a bad boy so bad. But I hate you for dragging me into this." Your voice was slightly muffled.

"Yeah, we'll see. You'll be the happiest couple ever in like, two months."

You raised your head, looking back at Ran once again. You're in quite the pickle, aren't you? The next thing you know, you'll fall for Haitani Ran.

How scarily exciting.

.

"Hop on." Ran stopped on his bike in front of the library. How he knew you had a study session there today? Don't worry about the details.

Another motorcycle ride... You feel like you barely survived the last one.

"My parents expect me to be home in 10 minutes." You crossed your arms. You weren't lying, either.

"Who cares? Live a little." Ran rolled his eyes playfully. Clearly he isn't going to let you back down.

"I'll do it, but only if you keep it to ten minutes." He was right, backing down isn't your thing. You wonder how much resisting him you could get away with if you weren't special to him.

Special to him... huh.

"Killjoy." He insulted you lightly as you sat down in front of him. Again, neither of you are wearing a helmet. This is the last time you'll let it slide.

"I prefer to not get scolded endlessly." You held onto him tightly because you knew what was coming and didn't want to almost fall off the bike again. He felt proud when you held onto him like that.

Like you're finally his. To be honest, he didn't really care much for you until you kissed him out of nowhere like that. How bold of you, the top-of-the-class rule stickler. But he likes that. And that's why he decided to make you his.

Isn't the fact that he lets you ride on his motorcycle enough to see that?

You felt the wind blowing against your face as you set off. Now that you feel it again, it doesnt feel too bad. It's kind of nice, actually. And Ran is warm, too.

The scenery moves past the two of you and strangely, you feel really calm and at peace. It feels like your parents don't exist in this moment and that you can just... live, and feel the adrenaline of the high speed.

This is so scarily exciting.

"You look relaxed." He said, looking down at you.

"I am. And look at the road, will you?" You scolded him but your voice was still relaxed. You look up at him again.

He actually isn't that bad looking. You kind of understand why some girls would fall for him. You, on the other hand...

Are unfortunately befalling the same fate.

He didn't say anything but you had a feeling he knew you were staring.

"You look like you're in love."

"What?! How would you even know?!" You looked back at the road, hiding your face from him. You can't help but get defensive of such a thing.

God, you hate that he's right.

[decolonize-the-everything]

(to preface this, i am white. figured i should make that known off the bat) i wanted to come bounce an idea off of you that i've been rolling around in my head for a bit. i have this pet theory that, for the population ill call here "white progressive queers who know very little about poc and racism", a large underpinning of this group's interaction with poc is a Fear of Fucking Up and more generally, moral purity thought. they (maybe even "we"- im still hopefully learning myself) get so paralyzed by this idea and line of thinking that goes something like this: "1) since i know nothing about poc & racism, then 2) clearly in discussions about these topics, i will fuck up and say something wrong or perhaps even Bigoted, which if i did 3) makes me an Irreparable Ontologically Evil Racist, hence 4) i should just be quiet and never ask questions/speak on these topics" which then results in said White Progressive Queer and those around them never learning. i wanted to know what you think abt this and tell me if im on the mark or not

also thank u for the work u do on this blog, ive found so many helpful resources through you

You're right. In my experience that's exactly how it is.

I want to add tho: yes they're uncomfortable that they might fuck up and be considered racists sure, but a huge part of that stems from the massive inability to place the discomfort where it belongs. Which is with their own guilt.

Instead they blame the conversations for making them uncomfortable.

And let's take some worthy notes here: this is not how white people feel all the time. Because white people are not uncomfortable making these fuck ups in front of other white people.

So it's not that the conversation is uncomfortable. They are made uncomfortable. And they are made uncomfortable because even when discussing anti-racism they step into the role of oppressor (the little fuck ups or accidentally bigoted comments) so naturally and God forbid other (not white) people can See how easy it is.

My advice for white people that are like this (that nobody asked for) is

Your fuckups do not define you but how you react to them does

Listen, respect, learn

That's it. That's the whole list. Say something bad? Apologize, but don't over-explain yourself. Ask how to fix it. Google how you fucked up so you understand why it wasn't okay. Google again to get idea of how your fuck up hurts people. Google some more to make sure you don't do it again. Go to some safe space and ask some clarifying questions. Listen, respect, learn.

Maybe the people you fucked up with don't forgive you and that's okay, they don't have to. But YOU won't ever make anyone feel bad or less than in the same way ever again and that's what matters.

Having one less person making racist comments matters even if it's a struggle for that person to get to that point.

I need y'all to understand that none of you are gonna just wake up being suddenly perfect anti-racist allies. And we will literally never ever have allies like that if y'all refuse to even sit with your own discomfort.

•°•°•

This weird morality issue white people have over looking racist is also just such a non-problem. Like if y'all want a PoC perspective: white people are already being racist ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ ....we Already see y'all as racists. And also I'm gonna experience racism anyway so I'd rather it be because someone was just being ignorant on the path to anti-racism.

Y'all are so worried about how shit Looks that you can't be bothered how really things are? Like you're so afraid of looking racist you'd allow yourselves to continue being actually ignorant and casually racist. And to avoid what? Being uncomfortable for a minute? Being called-out? A mean comment?

We are trying to stop hate crimes and genocide. Like that's what we are dealing with okay. Accountability for your actions is an acquired taste but I think y'all can handle some discomfort considering.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

well @flagonking I'll blame you for this one

Emily: "Sir Pentious! Is that a laser canon!?"

Sir Pentious: "What? What, no. Of courssssse n- OH THISSSS canon! Ah, I, ah- I wass jussst dissssmantling it, oh mighty sssseraphim!"

Emily: "Dismantling- does it still work?"

Sir Pentious: "P-perhapssss, but ah...." (falls face down) "Pleassse! Do not ssssssend me back or rip the wingsss FROM my back!!!! I prosssstrate mysssself before you! I am a worm at the hem of your sssscelesstial sssskirtsss! I beg of you have merssscy! I-"

Emily: "I need you to do a terrorism for me."

Sir Pentious: "...I... beg your pardon?"

Emily: "Vaggie collapsed at last week's meeting and hasn't been fully conscious since-"

Sir Pentious: "WHAT! Vagatha!?"

Emily: "-Charlie's tried everything in hell she can think of but nothing's helped and she's finally broke her promise not to tell anyone in heaven and I really really wish she would have done that SOONER because Lute stormed out of the meeting just a few minutes before Vaggie went down and since then I haven't seen Lute anywhere and Sir Pentious, I NEED you to draw her out in a HURRY, Lute I mean, so I have a chance of finding what I think she's been hiding when I slip into her place while she's off confronting you-"

Sir Pentious: "What."

Emily: "I'm sorry, but we can't go to Sera for help. I don't trust her not to give Lute a heads up and enough time to get rid of any evidence before she's searched and Vaggie won't be safe again until we catch Lute red handed and make sure to get it BACK from her- That's the main point, everything else comes later-"

Sir Pentious: "Theesse are too many wordsss! I don't underssstand! Me dissstract her?! Vagatha very expressly told me NOT to draw the pathetic bi-, the ah, lieutenant'sss ire! It wassss a direct order!"

Emily: "I know and it's dangerous and she'll be furious with us both afterwards but Lute can't get away with this!"

Sir Pentious: "Thisss what? What issss she-"

Emily: "I think she has Vaggie's halo, from when Adam took it."

Sir Pentious: "Her halo..?"

Emily: "I think Lute's been hurting her with it."

Sir Pentious: "Oh..."

Sir Pentious: "...Undersssstood! Where in heaven ssshould the terrorisssm take plassce?"

Emily: "As far from the Exorcist barracks as you can manage- maybe, also as far from Adam's suits as you can make it too? I don't know where else she'd feel safe enough to do something like this from, so we'll start there."

Sir Pentious: "Ah... The gatessss ssssshould be a good disstance from both, yesss? And an attack on them would be MOSST alarming."

Emily: "Perfect, Pentious! That's perfect."

Sir Pentious: "Ma'am! When ssshall we commenssce the opperashhion?"

Emily: "Now. Right now- I have no idea what this is actually doing to Vaggie, if it IS what I think it is, but it can't be good and it needs to stop."

Sir Pentious: "Then I sssshall attack at onsssce!"

Emily: "Wait! Sir Pentious, I won't let Lute hurt you either- Take this with you."

Sir Pentious: "Y- YOUR halo-? NO! I cannot!"

Emily: "I'm authorizing you to. It's MY blessing to give. You'll be under my protection with this- As long as you hold it, anyone who tries attacking you will be attacking me too."

Sir Pentious: "But what if, sssshe attacks anyway?? I, I don't know if I could ssssurvive, never mind sssafeguard your-"

Emily: "If she comes for you, use my halo to shield yourself."

Sir Pentious: "Ah! Ah, but-"

Emily: "No buts. Promise me?"

Sir Pentious: "But you are ssssso much powerfuller and more important than I am! You are helping with the hotel! We ssshouldn't risssk-"

Emily: "Your friends lost you once, Pentious. You died for them."

Sir Pentious: "W-well. I would have preferred not to..."

Emily: "But you did and we're not putting them through that again. If Vaggie can survive Lute's sword cutting her eye out of her skull, I'm sure I'll manage a dent in my halo or two."

Sir Pentious: "... very well, ma'am."

Emily: "Please, it's just Emily."

Sir Pentious: "Ah, err, missss Emily? If you are sssscertain..."

Emily: "Good, then take it and good luck!"

Sir Pentious: "AH! You asss well!!!"

Emily: "Try to keep Lute arguing if she doesn't go straight to trying to kill you!"

Sir Pentious: "I will! I sssswear I will give you asss much time for your sssssearch ass I can!"

Sir Pentious: "...."

Sir Pentous: "Oh dear."

Sir Pentious: (hastily gather up laser canon) "Oh dear oh dear- oh thisss would be ssso much fasssster with my eggssss!" (juggling emily's halo) "Ah!"

Sir Pentious: (slithering quickly) "All thisss time. The crusty exorcist leader.. doing things to Vaggatha's halo..?"

Sir Pentious: (HISSES)

Sir Pentious: "I DO hope Charlotte MURDERSSS that bitch...."

Random Angel: "What?"

Sir Pentious: "AHHH!!!! I- I sssaid- OH DEAR! I SSSSSEEM TO HAVE AN ITCH! I ssshall jusst go and ssscrape myssself very inossscently againsst the gatesss of heaven, la la la, do not be alarmed! ....YET!"

-

Vaggie: "...?"

Charlie: "Oh-!"

Vaggie: "...charlie...?"

Charlie: "Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Why'm I... lying down."

Charlie: "Shhh it's okay, you're just resting a bit-"

Vaggie: "Weren't we, doing something... You're... crying..?"

Charlie: "No I'm-" (wipes face) "D-do you know where you are right now?"

Vaggie: "Our room..."

Charlie: "Right, that's right. That's good. You know me and our room and it's, okay. You're safe here and it's okay. Just rest."

Vaggie: "But the... meeting..?"

Charlie: "That was days ag- never mind. It's not important. Can I prop your head up for a second? Can you try a sip of water? You, you should drink a little while you're still awake-"

Vaggie: "I was... sleeping? Am I going to. Fall back asleep... again?"

Charlie: "I don't-" (voice breaks) "-I, I don't know. Maybe. You weren't really talking when you woke up before. Here. Drink?"

Vaggie: "Not thirsty. Not tired. What. Happened?"

Charlie: "You've been resting-"

Vaggie: "Charlie you've been crying. You still are. What's wrong?"

Charlie: "Oh m-maybe nothing, now you're sounding like yourself again... How's the headache?"

Vaggie: "It's..."

Vaggie: "...Gone?"

Charlie: "Gone? You're sure? Please don't hide it this time-"

Vaggie: "I'm not, sweetie. I feel okay."

Charlie: "And not even tired, mm?"

Vaggie: "Alright fine. A little tired. Probably not as tired as you though."

Charlie: "I'M not the one who's been-"

Vaggie: "When did you last get any sleep?"

Charlie: "... Husk and Angel offered to sit in while I tried napping, yesterday. But it felt wrong. You were just, laying there next to me so still, you only moved when another fit started."

Vaggie: "I've been having fits?"

Charlie: "A few. Four, I think? But only since yesterday." (shaky sigh) "Everyone's been trying to help, so don't get mad at them about me losing some sleep. I kept jolting awake scared I would miss- something. Not be there when you... the next time you woke up."

Vaggie: "...well I'm awake now."

Charlie: "You shouldn't strain yourself, okay? Just. Try to rest. Do not try getting up."

Vaggie: "I won't. But I could use a hug."

Charlie: "Me too..." (snuggles gf)

Vaggie: "..."

Charlie: "...Vaggie?"

Vaggie: "Hm? Yeah?"

Charlie: "J-just checking."

Vaggie: "I swear I feel okay now. Whatever all, that, was, I think it's over."

Charlie: "Okay. Heh."

Vaggie: "What?"

Charlie: "Maybe I worried Emily over nothing after all."

Vaggie: "You didn't tell her-"

Charlie: "It's been a week, Vaggie. I'm sorry, I know I promised- but I didn't know what to do."

Vaggie: "A week? Oh hun... then that's my fault for freaking you out." (hugs) "Don't be sorry. The only angel you told was Emily, right?"

Charlie: "Yes. Just her..."

Vaggie: "That's fine. She's not. The worst."

Charlie: "Someday you'll admit that you like her~ You think she's niiiice and want to hold haaands~"

Vaggie: (snorts) "Definitely fucking not. You're loopy from lack of sleep, babe, and that's the only reason you're saying that. But I trust her."

Charlie: "You do?"

Vaggie: "She stood up to heaven with you. That's good enough for me."

Charlie: "I want you to be the one standing with me, Vaggie."

Vaggie: "Does laying down with you count too?"

Charlie: "For now I'll take it."

Vaggie: "Very generous of you sweetie. Can you take a nap for me too?"

Charlie: "Maybe. You'll... get better soon now, right?"

Vaggie: "I will. "

Charlie: "... and if I drift off, just for a moment, you'll be awake when I wake up?"

Vaggie: "I promise."

-

Lute: "I plead innocence."

Emily: "Innocence? Lute, you admitted to it! You basically bragged about doing it!"

Lute: "There's no shame in doling out righteous punishment."

Emily: "How can you call this righteous!? She couldn't even defend herself! She didn't even know what was happening to her! And you- describing every scratch and dent on this halo, talking about how you dragged you sword's edge across it at first until it drew sparks, and then how you just started hacking at it- You had better PRAY when Charlie hears about this-"

Sera: "Hell will not be informed of the matter."

Emily: "Sera- they are the wronged party here! Of course we have to tell th-"

Sera: "No. We will not."

Lute: "Thank you ma'am."

Sera: "You will hold your tongue, exorcist. Did you strike a Seraphim?"

Lute: "... that, filth, the snake hid behind her halo-"

Emily: "As I told him to."

Sera: "So you saw the halo before you struck. And still did so."

Lute: "He was destroying the gates of heaven!"

Emily: "Also on my orders."

Lute: "See!? She's as bad as those SCUM down there are- just as much of a traitor as-"

Emily: "Thank you. I would rather be like her than-"

Sera: "Stop. Lute, you are banished from the inner spheres for the time being. I will summon you once a tribunal is convened to consider your actions."

Lute: "Ma'am."

Sera: "Emily... Go lie down for the rest of the day. I'll check in with you later."

Emily: "..."

Emily: "I knew you would do this."

Sera: (sigh) "Do what?"

Emily: "Part of me hoped you wouldn't, but I knew I couldn't risk the chance you wouldn't care... even when it was one of ours being hurt."

Lute: "THAT FLITH IS NOT ONE OF US!"

Emily: "Good. Maybe she's safer down there."

Lute: "Not if I having anything to say about it!"

Emily: "I can see that. I'm starting to think even angels aren't safe up in heaven."

Sera: "Go lie down, Emily, please."

Emily: "Fine. I have a headache anyway. Dented halo and all that."

Lute: "Why are you taking the-"

Emily: "Vaggie's halo?"

Lute: "It belongs to- it belonged to Adam! And as the new leader of the exorcists, I-"

Emily: "You'll touch it again over my dead body."

Sera: "Enough with the dramatics. Now I am getting a headache."

Emily: "Let's talk politics then. As the sole volunteer delegate to hell, I am the only one here who can return Vaggie's stolen halo to her, aren't I? Aren't I, Sera."

Sera: "... you may as well."

Lute: "Seraphim please- you can't show mercy to Adma's killers-"

Sera: "I am left cleaning up the mess Adam and you have caused yet again, Lute, and I am becoming tired of doing so. Go."

Lute: (glares) (leaves)

Sera: "...and Emily... I won't be able shield you from your own actions forever. I am only one of heaven's seraphim- Please, do not do anything to condemn yourself in the eyes of our fellows. I cannot out rule them all. And some of them have been listening to Lute..."

Emily: "Including you."

Sera: "That is my duty."

Emily: "Well, maybe protecting people from angels like you is mine."

Sera: "Emily-"

Emily: (flies off) (still carefully cradling vaggie's halo)