#make a whole DC universe in ma head

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Hair Trigger

Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam, Superfam, YJ98

Summary: A junior at Gotham University, Jason finds it difficult to conceal his worsening mental health from his family and his friend, Jon Lane Kent. Family secrets are revealed and boundaries are pushed as Jason and Laney struggle to navigate through school, their romantic feelings, and their trauma. Could the reintroduction of Laney Kent be more trouble than it's worth, or is it just what Jason needed to confront the demons of his past?

I will also do trigger warnings for chapters and if there is smut I have the chapter(s) tagged so you don't have to worry about nsfw in the fic if you're just here for the story itself.

Chapters: 13/?

Characters: Jason Todd, Jonathan Lane Kent, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent, Lois Lane, Cassandra Cain, Tim Drake, Conner Kent, Natalia Knight, Jonathan Samuel Kent, Cassie Sandsmark, Chris Kent, Bart Allen, Original Character(s)

Relationships: JayLaney, Clois, TimKon

Additional Tags: University AU, No Powers AU, Sharing A Bed, Romance, Angst

Chapter Thirteen: Self-Soothe

Lois and Laney sat in the waiting room together, and Laney knocked the back of his head against the wall. "Stop that," Lois whispered as she fixed his hair. Laney messed his hair back up. "Lane, let me fix it—."

"I don't want you to fix it," Laney mumbled.

Lois breathed and reached to fix his collar. "Just let me—."

"Ma, cut it out," Laney whispered, "I'm gonna get a soda. Do you want something?"

"Lane, sit down. She'll be out in just a minute," Lois replied, "I'm anxious too. Just sit, okay?"

Laney kissed Lois's temple. "I'll go see if they have strawberry—."

"Lois and Jonathan?" a small mouse-like voice called. Lois stood up, and Laney followed her into the therapist's office. Laney sat on the couch next to Lois and said good morning to his therapist. "How has everyone been since the last time we spoke?"

"Mom, do you wanna go first?" Laney asked. Lois shrugged.

"Sure, I can go first... Conner called Wednesday night and surprised us with a visit. That was really nice. He's still there, and I think he's trying to warm up to tell us something," Lois whispered, "And um... Sammy is giving me the silent treatment because he thinks that I'm treating him like a baby."

"Does that bother you, Lois?" their therapist asked.

"Theresa... I'm not gonna lie. I was angry at first. Then, I had to remember what it was like when the boys were his age, and I get it," Lois replied, "But it doesn't make it any less frustrating."

"Everyone wants to be a grownup until they're a grownup," Laney chuckled. Lois smiled.

"Exactly! But I bet you figured that out when you became an adult—."

"Nuh-uh. When I came home from boarding school that last time," Laney whispered. Lois pushed her hair back and pulled it up into a ponytail.

"Laney, I feel like there's a lot of things that happened to you that you haven't talked about... I sort of wanted to talk about boarding school, if that's okay," Lois fixed his hair once more.

"What do you want to know?" Laney asked.

"Why didn't you sleep in your bed that first night back home?" Lois asked.

Laney took a deep breath, and he pushed his hair back with both hands. "My anxiety was so bad I felt like I was gonna be sick the whole night, and I guess I just wanted someone to hear me if I had to get up... I didn't want to be alone," Laney whispered, "It wasn't because of what my counselor did. All he did was try to kidnap me. That was it. I was just-. I felt crazy because I did something as stupid as that. I didn't want to tell you or Dad because I thought you'd be mad at me."

"We wouldn't have been angry. We thought you ran away, and we weren't upset with you. You were so shaken up. All we wanted to do was take you home," Lois confessed, "And you really haven't been yourself since then... We didn't want you to feel different, so we didn't say anything. All we wanted was to give you your space."

Laney didn't say anything. He just bounced his leg and hid his face in his hands. "Jonathan, do you need a break?" Theresa asked. Laney shook his head.

"Cricket, come here," Lois whispered as she took his hands and made eye contact with him. "It wasn't your fault. I love you so much." Lois embraced him.

Theresa allowed them to collect themselves before asking Laney if he felt like his experience in his boarding school still affects him. Laney nodded, and he tried to put together an answer, but he found himself struggling to make sense. He stumbled over his words until he finally managed to say, "It's hard to feel close to people... It's hard to tell people when I'm struggling, or when I need to talk to someone, or even now with Jason.

We're dating, and I don't know how to-. I don't know how to tell Jason that I want to wait a while before we-. I mean, I have to wait six weeks anyway, but I think I don't want to do it right away because I want it to mean something. I've hooked up with people before, so I'm not new to that part of things, but I just want to wait."

Lois kicked off her shoes, and she sat with her feet up on the couch. "Do you mind if I weigh in on that?" Lois asked. Laney shook his head. "I think you're doing what's right for you, and that's smart. I think Jason will understand that."

They all spoke for a while, and Laney and Lois went back to the car once their appointment ended. "You owe me a strawberry soda," Lois smiled, "And you never told me about how your date went."

"Oh, we went bowling because he'd never been. He had fun... Then he took me to this restaurant, and we ate at Robinson Park... It wasn't anything spectacular. It was just okay," Laney whispered.

"Do you not want to go out on a second date?" Lois asked.

"I like dating him, I just... I don't know. It all felt like a formality. It didn't feel the way that it does when we sleepover at each other's places," Laney shrugged.

"Did you tell him that?" Lois asked. Laney shook his head. "Want to split a large pizza?"

"Only if it's at one of those fancy Italian places that serve ravioli," Laney replied. Lois punched his shoulder.

"I love the way you think," she smiled as she got in the passenger's seat. "Your dad was looking at old videos of you boys when you were little, and he found this one of you when you were three."

"Yeah?" Laney asked as he put on his seatbelt and backed out of the parking space. "What'd I do?"

"Do you remember the pizza video?" Lois asked.

"Mom, please tell me you're not gonna make me listen to that while I drive," Laney replied.

"Fine...But do you remember waking me up at two in the morning to heat up your leftovers?" Lois chuckled.

"Please tell me you didn't show that video to my roommate," Laney groaned.

"I didn't, I swear," Lois snickered. "I loved how dramatic you were as a little boy," she smiled.

"Remember when you asked me if it would kill me to wait until you were done working, and I pretended to drop dead in your office," Laney chuckled.

"Trust me, I remember. You still do that to me," Lois laughed.

"I do not!" Laney giggled.

"You just did! Remember three months ago when I said I couldn't go to IKEA with you and you accused me of being mad at you?" Lois asked.

"Because you sounded like you were—. Wait, are you mad at Conner?" Laney asked.

"Am I mad about the tattoo that he got on his shoulder? No, and I'm not mad at you for letting him borrow your ID—."

"I can explain—."

"You don't have to. Are you getting one to match Conner?" Lois asked.

Laney made a face. "Absolutely not. I can't believe he sat through that. It did make me smile to see it, though. I thought he was too little to remember," Laney grinned before slamming on his brakes. "What the hell is wrong with you? Pay attention!" He laid on his horn.

Lois chuckled. "You lay on your horn first, sweetheart," she corrected him gently.

"Oh, thanks for the priceless motherly wisdom," Laney laughed as he pulled into a restaurant parking lot.

Once they were inside, they spoke to the cashier and made their order to go. While they waited for their food, Lois gave Laney one of her earbuds. "I wanna see how Conner and Clark are getting along while the boys are at school," Lois whispered. Lois did a facetime call, and Clark answered almost immediately. "Good morning, babe."

"Good morning, Lois. Good morning, Laney... Conner, come and say good morning," Clark beckoned him on the camera.

Conner sat down next to Clark, his hair standing up all over his head, and he looked as if he was wearing one of Sammy's shirts. Laney started to laugh. "You look great... No, really, that's a look—."

"I get it... Sam kept me up all night. He said he was sick, but I think he just had a bad dream or something," Conner yawned.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" Clark asked.

"Because he wasn't actually sick, Dad. I took his temperature with the forehead thing—."

"Still a thermometer, genius—."

"Lane," Lois nudged him.

"Thanks, Mom. Anyways, we watched something on tv until he fell asleep, and I carried him back to bed," Conner finished his story and asked Clark if he was going to finish his coffee. "Thanks, Dad."

"Conner, did you take the ferry by yourself?" Laney asked.

"No, I drove... Dad let me drop the boys off at their schools this morning. That was fun," Conner yawned.

"You dropped them off dressed like that?" Laney laughed. Lois got up and picked up their order.

"I didn't have to get out of the car. Are you and Mom having pizza?" Conner asked. Laney stood up and put the earbud in Lois's ear for her.

"Uh-huh. Hey, we'll call you guys later, okay?" Laney replied, and they hung up. He let Lois drive to the park, where they sat down and opened their box of pizza.

"Lane, remind me before I leave tomorrow night to get three big pizzas to take home," Lois replied, covering her mouth as she chewed.

"Mm! Mom, is Chris still asking if he can spend the weekend with me?" Laney asked as he opened his little container of ravioli.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure if you really meant he could stay over or not, but I know he has a half-day in three weeks if you want to keep him then," Lois replied. Laney looked on his phone calendar.

"What is that like the first weekend in October?" Laney asked. Lois nodded. "How do you do that? You didn't even look at a calendar."

"Mom powers. So, is that a good time for you?" Lois asked.

"Mhm, and if Sammy wants to come, he can too, but I can't promise you that I won't keep one of them," Laney joked.

"Be careful what you wish for. I could always send the boys to stay with you for the summer," Lois smiled as she went in for another slice of pizza.

"Maybe I'll keep them for a week or two in the summer. It'd be nice. Sylvia's probably gonna be out of town. They could have her room while she's gone," Laney replied.

"Jon Lane?" a man's voice exclaimed. Laney started choking on his food, and Lois knocked the heel of her palm against his back.

"Are you okay?" Lois asked. Laney looked on in shock as the man approached him.

"Hi, Lane. How've you been?" he asked as he reached out to shake Lois's hand.

"Laney, who's your friend?" Lois asked. Laney swallowed hard before running off to the park bathroom, leaving Lois sitting alone. He shut himself in a stall and paced back and forth as he tried to stop his heart from racing. He closed his eyes and tried to remember what Clark taught him to do.

Laney mumbled his brothers' middle names from youngest to oldest and then his parents' middle names. "Samuel, Lawerence, Elliot, Lane, Joanne, Joseph. Joseph, Joanne, Lane, Elliot, Lawerence, Samuel. Sam—."

"Jonathan? Are you in here?" Lois asked. Laney took in a sharp breath and stopped pacing.

"This is the men's room, lady—."

"So are all the bathrooms in my house, buddy... Jonathan Lane Kent, I know you're in here—."

"Mom, you can't be in here," Laney raised his voice through the stall.

"Well, can we go back outside?" Lois asked. Laney opened the stall, and she gestured with her head for him to follow her out. He sighed, and she led him around the back of the bathroom building. "What happened? Who was that?"

"He—. Mr. Forrester, he's Mr. Forrester..." Lois turned to walk back toward where they were sitting, and Laney grabbed her arm. "Mom, please."

"I'm not going to say anything to him. I'm just going to hurt him—." Laney tugged at her arm, and she turned to see the tears in his eyes. "I don't know what to do. I can't—. I can't fix—." Laney burst into tears, and she embraced him.

"I really messed up," Laney cried. Lois let go and held his face in her hands, and she shook her head.

"No, nuh-uh... That wasn't your fault. You didn't know... And Clark would be so mad that I touched your face with pizza hands," Lois whispered. Laney let out a weak laugh. "I bet you if you let me go now, I still have enough time to get one good punch in."

"Mom," Laney chuckled, "Stop."

"Clark will tell you himself. I have a mean right hook. I knocked G. Gordon Godfrey's tooth out at a party once," Lois replied.

"No, you didn't," Laney laughed.

"I did, and he deserved it," Lois replied. She kissed Laney on the cheek and gestured once more for them to go.

Once they got back home, Laney washed up, and he curled up on the couch and lay his head in her lap. Lois pulled his hair back from his face and into a top knot. "I need a haircut," Laney mumbled.

"I can do it. I've given Sammy his last few haircuts," she whispered.

"Are you trying to trick me into taking a nap?" Laney asked as he turned to look Lois in the eyes.

"Oh, no, I would never... But, if I was, would you say it was working?" Lois asked. Laney nodded. She drew small circles with her fingers on his head. "Clark's a master at this. You never asked for me unless you'd just had a nightmare. Remember?" Laney made an affirmative noise as he closed his eyes. "You used to say Clark wasn't scary enough to check the closet."

"Monsters couldn't eat you. You were too tough," Laney mumbled. Lois smiled and nodded.

"That's right. Monsters can't eat Mama," Lois whispered before getting up to plug in his CPAP in the living room. "Hey, remember?" Laney sat up and put the mask over his nose, and he turned the machine on before laying his head back down on her lap. Lois went back to making small circles on his forehead.

"I feel like you tricked me," Laney murmured.

Lois leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Don't feel bad... I'm kind of an expert," Lois smiled.

"Mom, are you gonna tell Dad about what happened at the park?" Laney asked.

Lois sighed. "Laney, don't you think your dad should know you saw the counselor that tried to kidnap you in the city that you live in?" Lois asked. Laney covered his face.

"He dropped me off at that diner six years ago," Laney replied, "Mom, it's over—."

"It doesn't feel over. You looked like you were gonna throw up when you saw Forrester. What happened?" Lois asked. "Lane, please..."

Laney sat up and took the mask off. "He convinced me that he was the only person that cared about me... That he could be my new family. I spent all my free time in his office. We'd play board games, read books, sometimes he would call me son, and let me sleep in his office...

It wasn't until that day that things started to feel weird. When we were in the car, and he started telling me about my new name, I felt like I was gonna throw up. I did throw up, and I couldn't stop crying... And when you guys came to pick me up from the diner, all I could think about was how much trouble I'd be in if I told the truth," Laney explained.

"You wouldn't have gotten in any trouble... Laney, I knew something was wrong. I did. I just thought you would tell us eventually. Remember that night you couldn't go to sleep, so you woke me up and told me you felt like you were gonna throw up?" Lois asked.

Laney shrugged. "I didn't really feel sick... I was just scared," Laney confessed.

"I know. I knew then. We all sort of knew something was wrong... But then you started school with Conner, and you seemed okay again," Lois whispered.

"Mom?" Laney asked. "Are you gonna tell Dad?"

"I think we should tell him," Lois replied before handing Laney her phone. Laney nodded and called Clark.

"Hi, Lois. I was just about to call you," Clark answered.

"Um, Clark... Something happened a little earlier," Lois whispered. Laney took the hair tie out of his hair and pushed it back.

"My counselor spoke to us at the park today," Laney added.

"That must've been nice—."

"No, babe, listen. He's not talking about his college counselor. He's talking about his counselor from boarding school. Mr. Forrester?" Lois replied.

"Beg your pardon?" Clark asked, a hint of rage coloring his usually cheerful voice. Laney let out a few breaths. "What is he doing in Gotham?"

"I don't know... I just wanted you to know that we saw him," Lois replied, "Where's Conner?"

"He wanted to pick Sammy and Chris up from school," Clark replied, "Lane, I think it's best if you press charges."

"I'll think about it—."

"Think about it? Laney, he kidnapped you—."

"But he never hurt me. I just want to un-say all of this. I just want to pretend it never happened and enjoy the rest of my weekend with Mom," Laney replied, "I saw him... I freaked out, and he probably knows better than to approach me again. It's okay. I'm fine."

[millicent-bystandah]

Random thought at 3 am because I'm just not going to sleep...It's not that I can't, I just choose not to. What if, and this completely hypothetical, Junji Ito made a psychological/gore-fest horror manga for Red Hood? I've been on this psychological horror craze after rewatching Perfect Blue and watching videos/breakdowns about Tomie....I just want to see Red Hood in a completely twisted and deranged story...is that too much to ask for in life???...well...he'd actually need a good, stable run in the first place...lEt hiM kIlL aLreAdY, dC!!!

[shhhlikeme]

THE SEXY

HALL🎃WEEN COSTUME 🎃👻💀🍬 YOU WEAR THAT MAKES YOUR VOLLEYBALL PLAYER GO: 🥵🥺 part 2

Haikyuu!!

Ft. Tendou, Kenma, Daishou, & Aran

Part 1 | Part 2 🩸 Part 3 🩸 Part 4 🩸 Part 5 🩸

Ojiro Aran -

A Pretty AF Princess👑👸

this hubby-material, absolutely perfect creation of a man has a royal kink. It’s not up for debate! 

argue with your mother if you disagree

Not in some crazy cocky sense where he thinks he’s royalty or something...

It’s moreso that he literally sees you as his princess already..... and treats you like it—even though you two have only been on a handful of dates!!! 

Where you wore cute and casual outfits only. 

Sooooo when you’re dressed as how this boy actually sees you....mannnnnnnnn

Aran Ojiro is all: 😦😦‘s and 🥺🥺🥺🥺’s

and a whole lotta 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩’s

Be prepared for him to shower you with compliments and attention, god damn 

At the Olympic Team’s sober bar hop yall go to, Aran’s telling you how beautiful you look and how much a crown on your head suits you every half an hour 

It puts butterflies in your stomach every time.

He’s dressed as a Prince to match you (which you had to beg him to wear because he doesn’t like the attention) and the entire night your new boo thing was treating you so sweetly 

Kissing your hand, holding you bridal style through door frames, bowing to you 🥺🥺🥺🥺 the whole nine yards

The twins, Bokuto, and even Sakusa kept making fun of him for being so simpy

But the man didn’t care lmao! he kept speaking over the boys when they chirped him, yelling at them that they are FORBIDDEN TO SPEAK TO YOUR MAJESTY WITHOUT ROYAL PERMISSION 💀

You couldn’t stop blushing, even though you were shy... you secretly felt like you were on cloud nine by the way he was being with you, honestly 

You thought the dates couldn’t get better but here we are.

“Ojiro..........” You blushed as you watch the guy you’re seeing and falling in love with Oop— press his plump and soft lips to you hand again.

“Hm?” He asks, opening them and looking up at you through his long lashes. He never removed your hand from his lips. You swooned even harder as your heart pounded, looking away. You tried again. 

“Umm.... you’re just being so kind treating me like this all night even though your friends are making fun of you, and you say it’s because I am your Princess but.... you do know that YOU’RE the one that gives off a Royal vibes, right?! Your entire aura and the way you carry yourself—even when I first met you—screams King. Plus everyone says it. That’s why people keep saying how much your costume fits you. You’re Like........” You gave yourself a beat to think. “—-you’re like the kind and gentle Prince who takes over his father’s throne and changes all the mean laws that were there.... then takes the peasant girl for his wife because he only cares about true love. That would totally be you. You’re like, amazing, Ojiro.” 

You were still looking away from your crush when you finished, immediately wanting to sink in a hole caused by utter embarrassment. 

What am I, a damn Disney narrator?🙄, you thought pathetically. 

Aran studied your features when you said all of this, his eyes softening. As soon as you were done speaking, he romantically pressed his lips against your hand again and then brought your hand down between you two, holding it. 

Next, he gently turned your chin with his free hand so that you were facing him, and so that you could see the sincerity in his eyes. 

You whimpered from the intensity you saw there. 

“Y/N,” Ojiro began in his gentle-king voice. 

“I could really go on with a monologue right now about how you carry yourself the same way you just described for me—like a Princess who overtakes her father’s throne and denounces any preexisting closed minded laws, then decides to give the humble baker—that’s me, a shot at a life of euphoria with you...... but I’ll save that for another time....” he paused, and you swore that you would never forgive yourself if the tears you were feeling decided to fall and ruin this moment. 

“No! It’s you, Ojiro. I’m not even close. You’re so perfect and—“ A handsome smirk graced Aran’s handsome face, making your butterflies explode. Somehow looking at that smirk you just knew that he could tell you were holding back tears with everything in you, so, being the modern Prince he is, Aran came to your tear-saving rescue. He lightened the voice, effectively lightening the mood; but his eyes remained just as intense. He chuckled cutely before explaining the reason behind the intensity. 

“Okay well uhh, hey, if you insist on calling me a Prince.... Then... as my first order of duty 👑, I’d like to ask you, my fair maiden, if would consider being so kind as to call this Prince: your new boyfriend? I mean—damn—sorry, did they even use that term back then?!” 

Your heart bursted, practically springing out of your chest:

Not Prince Eric, not Prince Charming and not even Flynn fucking Rider had anything on how amazing this Prince was! 

Your emotions bubbled over, letting out giggles that sounded just like a real Disney Princess’. 

“Yes, Aran!” You exclaimed, lunging forward to hug him. Aran laughed brilliantly, thanking you. 

You just basked yourself in this ending: Not knowing that your “yes” was the beginning..... of your fairytale. 

A/N: shoutout to my upcoming King Aran AU omg I am smitten 🥺🥺🥺

———————————

Kenma Kozume -

Gamer Girl 🕹🔌

When it comes to Halloween costumes.......

You and your boyfriend Kenma are both lazy. 

So when Kuroo called and screamed at both of you because you promised to go to his work’s party tonight, (especially Kenma who would look really good to his superiors) you both reluctantly agreed .... again😑😑😑

While Kenma simply showered, dried his hair and put on your cat ear head band and called it a day, 

You realized that you had to scramble for a presentable costume. Shit. 

You scoured Kenma’s condo since you have been staying here and won’t have time to go home. 

Freaking out because you found shit all, your bf told you that you really don’t have to wear a stupid costume because this party is stupid and Kuroo himself is stupid. 

Speaking of the devil: kenmas phone starting ringing with the Kuroo ringtone, meaning he was calling. 

Kenma tried to ignore it, so you went into his game room to retrieve his phone for him. 

While you looked for his phone near his gaming set up, your eyes fell on your boyfriend’s Professional Gamer headphones. 

You placed his headphones on, fixed your glasses and decided you’d go as a cute gamer girl! 

Kozume followed you in after a while when he didn’t hear you on the phone, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw you. 

“Th-those are my headphones.” Your youtuber says flatly, trying not think about how mind blowingly attractive you look with them on. 🤯🤯🤯

You just pointed at his costume.

“And that’s my kitty headband. What’s your point?” You retorted, winking at him behind your glasses. “I have a costume now: I’m a gamer girl. Do you like it?” 

Cat boy could only nod, his eyes growing dark. He pictured you gaming and it made him suuuuuper turned on. 

You noticed and like the little shit you are, you closed the distance between the two of you and wrapped your arms around his neck. You puckered your lips asking for a kiss. 

Kenma’s cheeks flared up, unable to stop himself from looking down your tight black & white tank top at your boobs. 

In true Kenma style, he ignored your ask for a kiss. 

“Kuroo is probably ou-out-outside, Y-Y/N. We should go.” Obviously flustered, your boyfriend quickly collected his phone from his desk and made a beeline out of his game room. 

You laughed, calling out to him from your place in the room. “I saw your boner, Kenma!”

“Shut up.” You heard your monotone boyfriend call back. You could picture his blush.

You smiled. 

———————————

Daishō Suguru -

Poison Ivy 🧑‍🦰🌿🥀

Your boyfriend is a self proclaimed snake . 🐍 he even recently got one tatted on one side of his chest and it looks AH-MA-ZING

But anyways... like I said: 

Your boyfriend is a self proclaimed snake . 

.....And Snakes like leaves 🍃

Therefore, you dressed as a leaf.

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

After you got all ready, 

You Facetime’d him because he was away at a tournament and you wanted to show him your costume 

When Daishō answered while grocery shopping, he was not prepared. He dropped his phone, picked it up, stared at you in awe, then he quickly hung up on you. 

He didn’t want to sport a boner in the fucking meat aisle so he practically raced to the cash and called you back when he got in his car. Lol

no but fr Daishou went gaga when he saw you dressed as the sexy Poison Ivy

Not only is he a DC > Marvel Enthusiast, but Daishō loooved Poison Ivy because he and the super hero/villain had similar personalities 

Poison Ivy approached DC Universe situations the same way Daishō approached rival volleyball games: with a manipulative sense, a temptress grin, and ultimately being someone no one you can tell whether they are a hero or a villain. 

With all of that to consider, your man wasn’t even thinking about that because he was too busy thinking you look like sex-on-legs 

He stared at your body madddd hard

“Fuck me. I wish I was Clark Kent right now so I had x-ray vision.” He groaned as he covered his free hand over his face, opening his fingers to peek at you. “What are you wearing under those leaves? Anything?!” Your snake-like boyfriend tried to sound stern, but you knew better. 

“Nothing.”

Licking your red lips, you lean toward your laptop so that your boyfriend could see a close up of those red lips.

You saw him instinctively lean closer to the camera and take a deep breath.

“Your Best Friends/Name isn’t picking me up for another hour, Dai. But you and I both know that really means two hours. Anyway, I’ll slip on underwear when she gets here but I was....... sort of hoping you could show Poison Ivy that snake of yours......before then. She hasn’t met him yet🥺.”

In his rush to get back to his hotel for some hot ass web cam sex, Sugaru forgot the groceries in the car.  Oh well ;) 

the extra grocery trip he’d have to take later that night was well worth it. 

———————————

Tendō Satori -

Skeleton Chick w Dope Clown Makeup

“Y/N CHAAAAAAAANNNNN!” 

you cringed and put your hands out in front of you to protect yourself, just in time before your boyfriend Tendou tackled you on the bed you two share 

You expected this, and that’s why you had strategically placed yourself in front of the bed when you finally told your boyfriend you were done your makeup 

3 hours ago, you had a long talk with your red head as he sat down with his legs folded like a kindergarten student: 

“Ten. I love you, but you are NOT ALLOWED back in the room until I’m done my makeup. You’re too loud, and you’re making me shake. I need precision. I promise I’ll call you in when I’m done and have my costume on.” 

Just like a kindergartener student, your boyfriend gave you puppy dog eyes. 

“BUT—“ 

“Ztttt! No buts!” You shut your eyes so that you weren’t looking at his puppy dog eyes that get you every time. “Ten, you can come in as soon as it’s done.” 

You heard him sigh, so you sealed the deal.

“Don’t forget that You’ll be the first to see it, my special boy.” 

“Alright!!!!” Tendou jumped up.

“Please, bring me to the room and shut the door behind you.” Since your eyes were still closed, your boyfriend hummed and linked his arm through yours, doing exactly as you asked. He lead you to your vanity and helped you sit down. 

“I’ll be waiting! Cant wait to see it! I’m going to bake a Halloween cake to waste time!” 

You felt a familiar kiss to the top of your head, then you heard your bedroom door shut. 

God you loved that Chocolatier. 

***

3 hours later, you were questioning why you loved that Chocolatier🙄, because he was crushing you under his weight after tackling you

Your boyfriend quickly rolled off of you and began his chatter. 

This was both of your favourite holidays so Satori has been gushing the entire week 

“OHO, you look awesome, Y/N-chan! When I was young, no one would take Halloween as seriously as I did so they’d say hurtful things behind my back and it made me very sad.....!!! Last year Ushi actually dressed up as the peanut butter to my jelly which was cool, but he didn’t know the words to the song for Karaoke......” His eyes lit up. “But now I have YOU! Someone who loves October 31st as much if not more than me! Oh, and you look beautiful AND scary! How did you do that??? Can you do my makeup like that, my love?! I want to match you! I also want to make love to you..... and—“

You reached over and covered Tendou’s mouth with your index finger. 

This cutie shushed himself, making himself cross eyed because he was now looking down at your finger on his own lips

You laughed. There is so much you could respond to, but thinking about a baby Ten being all excited for Halloween and his stupid bullies making him feel like shit for it tug at your heart strings, disallowing you to say anything else to your brilliant Chocolatier:

“Ten...........I love you. Happy Halloween.” 😌

This time, you hadn’t had enough time to put your arms out before you were tackled by an enamoured Tendou Satori again. 

Who do you want to see react to your Sexy Hall🎃ween Costume next?

Part 3: 4/4 requested - closed 🚫

Part 4: 4/4 requested - closed 🚫

Part 5: (final part): 4/4 - closed 🚫

first come first serve - send me an ask!

Characters that are currently in queue: Iwa, Ukai, Daichi, Oikawa, Mattsun, Kuroo, Kyoutani, Akaashi, Tsukki & Noya.

[we-want-mini-mini]

Because I fell in love with the previous prompt/oneshot I wrote about an OC falling into the DC universe (specifically Gotham) and wants to avoid the Vigilantes/Wayne and Co but fucking fails at it (or succeeds, who knows).

This one shot is about—

The Reluctant Executive Assistant To Lex Luthor, Who Also Is A Supervillian

Masterlist | Pervious Post Regarding This Oneshot

Warnings! Strong language, mentions of disassociation, mentions of body dysphoria, non-graphic description of violence, probably OOC Lex Luthor, shitty spelling and grammar oh my!

LIA WONDERED WHAT SHE DID TO ANGER THE UNIVERSE, what she did so heinous, so deplorable, so bastardly to be punished in this way. She reclined into her plush sofa, her eyed glazed over, as they seemingly stared beyond the cream colored walls of her small Metropolis apartment. On her coffee table, laid a stack of papers. Papers that were at least a couple inches thick, filled with long winded explanations, language that could confuse anyone, and an agreement to become Lex Luthors god damn Executive Assistant.

I’m basically going to be a glorified Secretary, for one of the most powerful men in the world... Whose also a raging fucking Supervillain too. Lia thought with a groan, rubbing her face. Her mind whirled with various thoughts, plans and so, oh so much more. The fact that she’s been offered such a prestigious job, at the tender age of 23 years old. A job as the right hand to a fucking Supervillain, Jesus Christ...

Ever since Lia woke up in her doppelgänger’s body, all those years ago, she made a decision that she would never involve herself with the various vigilantes of this world. But, considering she lived in Gotham before this, she had to cope with the fact that her city had various Vigilantes running around, doing whatever they were doing. But, Lia had the upper hand you see: the world she came from, all the Vigilantes and hero’s were fictional characters! Thus, she knew all their origin stories, secret identities and the like. In her pervious world, every kid knew that Superman was unassuming reporter Clark Kent of the Daily Planet. Who also happened to be Lia’s next door neighbor. You know what, I’m not even going to go down that rabbit hole. Nope. Nah. I’m good.

But, adjusting to life in her new body wasn’t a simple walk in the park. She had to adjust to a whole new city (perviously Lia lived in New York, which was the inspiration for Gotham but still). A whole new environment that became desensitized to the causal, practically fanatasical acts of violence ranging from man made super blizzards, the occasional alien invasion and etc. Not to mention, Lia had to cope with the fact she, in essence, lived in an entirely different body. The first two years of living in this world, Lia struggled with dissociation and body dyshoria at the fact that one: she now lived in a completely different world compared to her pervious world, and two: she inhabited a body that, yes is her, but, at the same time, wasn’t her.

Thank goodness mom realized what was happening and shipped my ass off to the few non-supervillain therapist in Gotham. Lia thought with a huff like laughter.

Her eyes then soon trailed too the stack of papers Lex Luthor gave, ones that detailed her contract of becoming his Executive Assistant. One, that would make her one of the most powerful women in the US by being the right hand of Lex Luthor. Who also is a fucking supervillain, god damn it.

Lia vowed to herself to never involve herself with the various superheroes, vigilantes, or villains of her new world. She wanted to live a normal as possible life, not wanting to have such a heavy responsibility of being a hero on her alreayd aching shoulders. She did not want to get involved in the drama that often plagued those who entered that life. She did not want to endanger her family (or herself) because she has connections with people who are vigilantes. Specifically, when she was a student at Gotham U, she avoided anything surrounding the Wayne’s (considering they are the infamous Bats and Birds that protect Gotham and her people). Likely, the only times she ever saw said infamous Vigilantes were the few unlucky times she was in a hostage situation and when she was about to be mugged those couple of times.

As far as interactions outside of their vigilante identities, she’s bumped into Bruce Wayne shopping with Damian, Stephanie, Cassandra and Tim. And oh boy, oh boy, did Lia pray to any deities out their to make sure this was the first and last time she ever met them. Her only words to Bruce Wayne (also fucking Batman) was a high pitched apology and the wish to be smited by God that very second. She’s also bumped in Dick Grayson the one time she visited some friends in Blüdhaven in a coffee shop. They struck up conversation, and it wasn’t till the end of the conversation did she realize who it was. After that, she always went out with headphones in her ears as they are the universal symbol of Don’t Talk To Me. And as for Jason, she’s seen Red Hood when she was out late at a 24/7 7/11, picking up some food. Frankly, Lia was to strung up on zero sleep and pure caffeine and spite to honestly give a single shit. Lia vaguely remembered wanting a specific thing, and Red Hood also reaching for it. She snatched said snack with a word, ignoring Red Hoods existence completely. The cashier looked like they saw a ghost but, as always, Lia was tired to give a single flying shit.

However, Lia’s paranoia didn’t simmer down. So much so, that she applied for an internship at LexCorp, her excuse being she wanted to have a change of scenery. While working at LexCorp, she gained considerable amount of knowledge and experience, but compromised with her mom that, after her internship finished up in LexCorp, she’s go to WE and work there. Lia had deep seeded concerns about working at WE, but after going back and forth in her head, she decided that, fuck it. It’s a gigantic ass company. There’s such a low percentage of me ever crossing paths with one of the Waynes and Co. Plus, mom drives a hard bargain. And damn, do I honestly miss Gotham. It’s so damn bright here. And it’s called fucking Metroplis of all things.

Before Lia could further brood about what her life had become, the sound of her doorbell flooded Lia’s ears. Lia’s eyebrows scrunched together, did I order something? But, she shrugged to herself, springing to her feet. Better find out then, I guess.

When Lia opened the door, she expected, say, a delivery person, or, a neighbor asking to borrow something. What she did not expect was her 5’3” mother, standing next to a 6-something, rather muscular, but familiar figure of—HOLY SHIT IT’S SUPERMAN, WHAT THE FUCK—

Next to her mothers petite figure, was the gargantuan stature of one Clark Kent, AKA, Superman. Lia could feel her blood pressure rise.

“Mom! Mr. Kent! What a nice surprise.” Lia said, through a tight lipped smile. Her mother simply smiled, laughing lightly.

“Habibi, it’s been such a long time—and, wait did you loose weight?” Her mother’s once smiling face turned sour, her eyebrows pinched together in worry. Her warm brown eyes trailing up and down Lia’s figure. Lia’s face immediately warmed up a few degrees, then her mother took hold of her face, examining it closer. Lia let out a indignant squawk, “Mom! Not infront of the neighbor please!”

Clark simply laughed, “No, it’s alright. I can understand a mother’s worry as my own Ma does the same thing whenever she visits.”

Her mother nodded, “See! He doesn’t mind, habibi. Now, it’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Mr. Kent, if you would be a dead, could help me set the food on the table?”

Clark smiles, his teeth a little too white and dazzling. “Of course! But please, call me Clark.”

Her mother laughed, while nodding. “Of course, Clark. Now, come in, come in.” Her mother said, inviting Lia’s neighbor into her apartment. She let out a sigh, moving out of the way.

Before long, Clark, Lia and her mother were setting up dinner. Somehow, someway, Lia’s mother convinced Clark to stay for dinner, while sending meaningful glances towards Lia. Lia wanted to jump out of her window. Knowing that her mother would always be her wingwomen, was, strangely nice, but this time? Trying to set her up with fucking Superman? Nope. Nah. No happening mom, no matter how hot Clark looks. Not. Happening.

Her mother, soon strikes up conversation with Clark about work. He talks about the Daily Planet, and being a reporter. Soon, the topic veers to Lia, whose honestly forgotten that Clark was Superman for a couple minutes.

“...on the topic of internships, my Lia currently interns at LexCorp, if I’m not wrong.” Her mother says, sending a pointed look to Lia.

“Uh. Yeah. I’m currently working at LexCorp as an intern.” Lia says, watching for Clark’s reaction at the fact that she works for his biggest nemesis. She can see it, the infantasmal flinch, before he relaxes again.

“Oh, is that so? From what your mother said, didn’t you live in Gotham before coming to Metropolis?” He inquires, setting down some plates on Lia’s dining table. Lia freezes up, since, she can’t just say: Well, you see, I know the identities of Gotham’s infamous vigilantes, who happen to also run and own WE.

“Well, I wanted a change of scenery really.” Lia added smoothly, taking out all the food and sorting them. She kept her face and tone neutral, watching Clark’s every move and reaction.

His face had a knowing look, as he gave a small nod. “I can understand that. Gotham and Metropolis are two very different cities and wanting a change of scenery is a fine reason for moving.”

Lia hums noncommittally, while her mother sighs. “I still wished you would’ve stayed in Gotham, you know. It’s closer and I worry for you, Habibi.”

Lia buffs through her nose. “Mom. I’m 24 and very much so capable of protecting myself, considering you were the one who taught me how to knock a man thrice my size out in a single punch since I was 7.”

Clark makes a sort strangled noise and covers it up with a cough. Lia’s mother simple sighs, her face showing her true age. “Of course your capable of defending yourself. Why would I let my daughter out and about in Gotham of all places with being able to defend herself? I just worry, ya habibi. This is a whole new city and you also live by yourself.”

“I’ve been living by myself since I was 18, mom.” Lia interjected but her mother gives her a look.

“Yes, you have been living by yourself since you were 18 but at least you were nearby. I worry, regardless of the fact.”

Lia sighs. They’ve had this talk numerous times, before Lia moved to Metropolis and before she even uttered her concerns about wanting to move. “I know.” She says softly.

The conversation dies out, as everything soon is set. However, before they could start eating, Lia’s mother spots the stack of papers.

“Lia, what with the stack of papers?” She inquired, her head gesturing to the coffee table.

“The stack of what?” Lia yelled out, as she was in the kitchen getting a jug of water. Her mother, whose curiosity guided her, got up from her seat and took ahold of the papers.

“The papers on your coffee table. What are they for?” She asked again, when she heard Lia set the jug of water down.

Lia, whose brain was preoccupied with a million other thoughts, carelessly said the phrase: “Oh, my contract to become Executive Assistant to Lex Luthor.”

Clark almost dropped what he was holding, before discreetly catching it with his super speed. Lia’s mother stilled, her eyes wide as saucers, her lips slightly parted.

“Your what to whom?” Her mother asked, her tone beyond incredulous.

Lia short circuited. She realized what she just said. In front of fucking Superman. In front of her mother. Fuck. Why does the universe hate me?

Before Clark could say anything else on the matter, his phone buzzed. The mother daughter pair snapped their gaze at Clark, whose face grew even more surprised.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I have to go. Something urgent just came up.” He said, shoving his phone back into his pant pocket. The mother-daughter pair simply nodded, as they watched a slightly frantic Clark Kent shuffle out of Lia’s small apartment.

When they heard Lia’s apartment door shut closed, her mother’s head whipped towards Lia’s. Her face went rigid, the past surprise at the new was scrubbed away, being replaced with a cold, calculative look. She gestured to Lia to sit down, at the dining table.

Lia, who simply stared at her for a while, sighed, before taking the opposite seat across from her mother. She knew this conversation will be a long one, thus, she started to pile on the food her mother brought.

“The contract in your hands, is a contract between me and Lex Luthor. It’s about me becoming his Executive Assistant.”

Her mother hummed, while also taking some food. “So, you’re going to be his right hand, essentially?”

Lia nodded. Well, sure. I’m technically a glorified secretary with a lot of power now. But sure, right hand is a lot more appealing. But she didn’t voice those thoughts, simply taking a bite of her food.

“Well, this took a turn I did not expect it too.” Her mother said with a sigh.

“You and me both, mom.”

Lia never would’ve imagined, not in a million Earths, would she become Lex-fucking-Luthors Executive Assistant. She honestly thought she would finish her internship without much fanfare and move back to Gotham to apply for a position at the WE.

“So,” her mother began, setting her fork down. “How the hell did you catch Luthors eye?”

“Well, it’s a bit of a long story but...”

A COUPLE DAYS AGO, the department in which Lia was interning suddenly lost a handful of employees who quit for whatever reason. Not to mention, an important meeting was scheduled and was now completely fucked due to these employees leaving. Plus, some other important event was also going on with some higher level execs and that was also in jeopardy. Lia, who was witnessing this utter shit storm in real time, realized, oh fuck. This is bad. Really bad. And decided to do something about it. Lia, at the time, was known in her department as someone who can manage a schedule like no ones business, convince people to do things her way like it was as easy as drinking water. She had a reputation and the department head was a chicken whose head was cut off, trying to put out the proverbial fires one by one, rather ineffectively. Lia, who made friends with various other interns in other departments (who worked with other high level employees), and who had various connections in Metropolis, was able to salvage most of the day (and subsequent week). She was able to fill in those positions rather quickly (the department head was more then happy to oblige), re-schedule the various important meetings and events that were scheduled that in under three hours after some (what Lia called) “aggressive persuasion”. Somehow, someway, the story of some intern with godly management abilities, persuasion skills made its way up to the big man himself: Lex Luthor.

When Lex Luthor heard of this, he became intrigued. Thus, he called Lia up, all the way to his office. Lia, who when was told that fucking Lex Luthor himself wanted to see her, was understandably shitting bricks. Her mind immediately went to the fact that somehow, someway, he figured out that Lia knew the identities of various vigilantes. Lia, who was reasonably terrified at the thought, began to draw up counter arguments and contingencies.

The entire way to Lex Luthor’s office Lia went through the seven stages of grief (the extra two are Denial 2 and astral projection). She thanked those she loved, and made her not peace with God. When Lia finally arrived to Luthors office, she immediately compartmentalized all her feelings, slapped on her most convincing cooperate smile, and knocked on his door, saying in the most polite and calm tone she could muster: “Mr. Luthor? You called for me, Lia al-Abadi?”

The moment she heard the muffled “come in.” Lia sent one more prayer to whatever deity out their, and strode into Luthors office.

Now, Lia has seen pictures and clips of Luthors office. But, it was one thing too see it and another to be in it. Lia, when entering the large office, with Luthor facing the window out looking Metropolis, felt her heart drop all the way to the earths core.

Her hands were discreetly balled up in her sides, her nails digging crescent shaped moons into the palm of her hand. The shirt underneath her blazer was definitely soaked through, but, thankfully, Lia wore a black blazer today, so it wasn’t that noticeable. Probably. Hopefully.

Lia took in a deep breath, trying to calm her hammering heart. “Mr. Luthor?” She called out, her voice surprisingly even. Her heart hammered against her chest, so hard, it seemed it would burst through any moment. God, what the fuck is my life anymore.

Luthor, being the dramatic ass Supervillian that he is, spun around, his hands clasped together as he faced Lia, sitting in a typical, large, black, swivel chair. The only thing he was missing was the white cat in his lap. 

Lia could feel herself die a little when she made direct eye contact with the man, the legend, the Asshole, himself: Lex god damn Luthor.

“Ah, Ms. al-Abadi, please, do sit down.” He said, his voice uncharacteristically bright and inviting. But, Lia knows better then to trust the fox when it was simling. She could see the calculative glint in his eyes. Carefully, she walked towards Luthor, who kept his picture prefect smile. The only thing that filled Lia in for the eternally long, yet short walk towards Luthor was the clicks of her heel, and her heart hammering against her eardrums.

Her hand, which she forced to keep steady, took ahold of the chair, dragging it away from the desk. The ugly screeches of the chair legs against the marble floor still reasonated through Lia’s ears. But, at least she saw the slightly—almost invisible—eye twitch that gave away his annoyance.

Lia, who kept her face devoid of any emotions, slowly sat down. Her eyes still focused on Luthors stupid smiling face.

When she sat down (finally, Jesus Christ that was a lot more anxiety inducing then I thought) she kept her back straight, shoulder squared and her hands on her lap. She could still feel her heart beating hard against her rib cage, and the million thoughts of Luthor somehow finding out about Lia and her knowledge of the identities of the various vigilantes. Her hands became clammy, her entire being screamed, I AM VERY UNCOMFORTABLE! but, Lia was stuck in between the proverbial rock and a hard place (rock: chair, hard place: Luthor’s office).

Her lips stretched into her patented cooperate smile, “You had called for me, Mr. Luthor, sir?”. Fuck my life. Lia thought, still smiling while she slowly died on the inside.

Luthor bared his teeth, lips stretched into a smile. “Please, call me Lex, Ms. al-Abadi.”

Lia, with ever cell in her very being, absolutely rebelled at the prospect of calling Lex Luthor just Lex. For one, he’s her boss, and Lia was raised to be polite. Second, Lia only ever referred to Lex Luthor either as Luthor or Lex Luthor, never just Lex. Third, Lex Luthor is a goddamn Supervillain, no fucking way am I calling him by his first name.

Lia’s fave stretched out into a tight lipped smile. “I’m afraid cannot do that, Mr. Luthor.” She said through gritted teeth, face still stretched out into a tight lipped smile.

Luthor cocked his eyebrow. “Oh? And why is that?”

For one, your Supervillain. Second, me saying your first name, and just your first name, tiggers my flight or fight response. Lia, of course, did not response to Lex Luthor’s question with that reply. Instead she said, “For one, Mr. Luthor, you are my boss and I am your employee. Employees don’t generally refer to their boss by their first names. Secondly, me referring to you by your first name implies that I am in some way, shape or form, close to you. Considering this is my first time ever meeting you personally, I can’t—” Won’t “—refer to you by your first name.”

A beat of silence. Lia, who continued to smile at Luthor as he stared at her for a good few moments, before lightly chuckling.

“Well, when you put it like that, Ms. al-Abadi, I cannot disagree. However, I do hope in the near future you would be more comfortable calling me Lex rather then Mr. Luthor.” He said, his face all smiles.

For a moment, Lia was confused. She was simply a temporary intern that would leave in about two months, how would she hypothetically warm up to Luthor enough so to call him Lex? Plus, what he said also implied that Lia would stay in LexCorp long enough to warm up to Luthor.

Then a thought crossed Lia’s mind. Wait, does he want to be my sugar daddy?? Which Lia immediately shot down, as, this is Lex Luthor, why the fuck would he be interested in being my sugar daddy? Even though I am fucking beautiful, thats for sure. But still. Lia shuddered at the thought before getting back on the topic at hand.

“Mr. Luthor, I am just a simple intern that will be leaving in about two months. I don’t understand how I would be able to get close to you enough so that I refer to you by your first name,” Lia said.

Then another thought crossed her mind, “Unless, you’re planning on making me a full time employee?” There was a slight tilt in Lia’s voice, her eyebrows slightly pinched together. Lia, however, racks her brain for any reason why Lex Luthor of all people would personally call her to his office just to say he’s going to hire her as a full time employee.

Luthor nodded, “Precisely, Ms. al-Abadi. But, I don’t just want to make you any full time employee, that would simply be a waste of your talent and potential.” He said, reaching for one of his drawers, pulling out a stack of papers.

A wave of confusion wash over Lia. Talent? Potential? The fuck did I do to catch Luthors attention of all people? “I’m not sure what you mean by my ‘talent and potential’, Mr. Luthor.” She said, while shaking her head. She honestly didn’t think of anything note worthy enough to catch a awfully busy man like Luthor.

A flash of confusion flickered through Luthors face before being plastered with another smile. “Ms. al-Abadi, I’m sure you know your reputation among the other interns, right?”

Lia’s eyes narrowed, as she hesitantly nodded. She was infamous for managing a clusterfuck of a schedule into an actual, mangable schedule. Lia was also known for her “aggressive persuasion” tactics and the like.

“Not to mention, the situation in which many employees from the department you interned in, quit. Resulting in many important events and meetings to be up in the air. Not to mention some other notable things that happened that day.” Luthor said, matter of factly.

And, he wasn’t wrong. But the fact that Luthor knew of that utter shitstorm raised more then a few alarms in Lia’s head. The situation that occurred that day was promptly swept under the rug and Lia only complained about the situation to a couple intern friends and her brother. Then, the face of Ana—an intern from the PR Department—flashed through Lia’s eyes. Lia wanted to strangle herself. Of course she told fucking loose lipped Ana about situation that never should’ve reached Luthor’s ears, god fucking damn it. No matter how much Lia wanted to groan and fight God, she kept her composure.

Lia gulped down, rubbing her hands as another smile made its way onto her lips. “Well, I simply did what had to.” I had pull so many fucking favors, and most of my god damn grey hairs are from that day, Jesus Christ. Whenever Lia remembered that day, her face (internally) soured, and the need for her to curse out God, the universe, whoever, was so great she had to bite her tongue (literally) to force herself not to go on a 20 minute rant about the entire situation. Still, even with her bubbling feelings of pure, unbridled rage, Lia kept her composure. This is a professional environment. I’m infront of my boss. Whose one of the most powerful man in the US. Whose also a raging Supervillain. I have to stay professional. Professional...

“Nonsense, Ms. al-Abadi. From what I heard, you had a situation presented to you, a situation that was falling at the seems no less—and somehow salavaged it. In under three hours, you were able to salvage the situation, reorder them schedule and was able to avert a scandal as well.”

Lia, for whatever reason, felt her face grow hot at the praise. She, of course, knew how shitty the situation became—did what she always did—complained a bit, and moved on. Planning, reorganizing, improvising plans on the go, and her “aggressive persuasion” is something Lia always did. She didn’t find such things awfully notable, as she’s been doing this sort of thing since the ninth grade.

“T-That’s—” Lia cleared her throat. “That’s quit a bit of praise, Mr. Luthor, considering I didn’t do much aside from reorganize and persuased a few people. Nothing that I consider rather notable, enough so to earn your attention.” Unnecessary attention, was left unsaid.

Luthor simply smiled, his teeth too white and straight for Lia’s eyes. “You might consider it unnotable, but I beg to differ.”

Then beg—Lia almost retorted, but she caught the phrase before it could ever leave. Fucking siblings.

Luthor pushes the stack on papers closer Lia. “Which is why—I want you, Ms. Lia al-Abadi, to become my Executive Assistant.”

Lia, when she heard the words Executive Assistant concluded that the universe hates her and that she will make preparations to fight God.

Safe to say, Lia was just offered a prestigious position, next to Lex Luthor, to be his Executive Assistant. The same Lex Luthor who is actively fighting against Superman—the Justice League at large—and it an overall Supervillain. One of Superman’s most noteworthy Supervillian. A Supervillian, who can potentially kill Superman because he has access to a grow, green rock. A Supervillian who made a clone of Superman—combing his and Superman’s DNA—to do so. The same Supervillain, who essentially was asking: “Do you want to be my right hand?”

“You want me to be your what?” Lia asked in an incredulous tone. She looked at the stack of papers and Luthor several times, while pointing to herself. “Me? A 23 year old, with barely any experience in the cooperate world, work as your Executive Assistant?”

Luthor, surprisingly, nodded, his face not showing a hint of annoyance. “Yes, I am. Of course, you should take your time to think over my offer. It is Friday, and I’ll be expecting your answer next Monday. Come to my office at 3 PM, next Monday, and we’ll talk some more, Ms. al-Abadi. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have another meeting to get too.”

Next thing Lia knew, she was holding onto a stack of papers, in an elevator, going down back to her original office. When she came back, several people commented on how dazed and pale she looked. One of her supervisors even asked if she wanted the rest of the day off (as there wasn’t much left to do, either way). Lia, who was still reeling from the events that had just transpired, graciously accepted.

Lia’s mother, who kept on listening to the entire ordeal, from start to finish simply commented. “Well, damn.”

Lia groaned, her hands rubbing her face. “‘Well, damn’? That’s all you have to say on the fact that one of the most powerful man in America offering me a position as his god damn Executive Assistant?”

“Hey! It’s a lot for me to take in, and, it must a lot for you to take in.” Her mother said, reaching out, taking a hold of Lia’s hand. She gave a comforting squeeze.

“Yeah, it was...” Lia mumbled. She sighed, her eyes on the stack of papers detailing what Lia’s responsibilities were, and some other key information. The stack of papers that could change her life with a single stroke of a pen.

“So, what are you going to do? Accept Luthors offer, or...?”

“It’d be dumb for me not to accept it.”

“Damn right it would be!”

Lia shoot her mother a look, before continuing, “It’s just... I’m only 23 and me getting this job is just... There’s a lot to consider. Sure, I’m good at managing schedules, persuading people and—” Her mother snorted, waving her hand.

“Hey! I am good at all those things, you know.” Lia exclaimed, crossing her arms.

Her mother raised both her hands, shaking her head. “Never said you were bad at them, Habibi. Your a damn genius when it comes to organizing events and persuading people. Not good, not great, but a god damn genius.” Her mother voice clearly showing how proud she was of Lia.

The tips of Lia’s ears were painted bright red, as her face spilt into a grin. “Yeah, yeah, I guess I am. But, the matter at hand is that, I don’t have much experience in the cooperate world. And, I just graduated a couple months ago. Not to mention, if I accept the position, there’s going to be a lot of talk on how, I, a 23 year old, rather attractive women, who just recently graduated from Gotham U, who was just a regular intern, managed to get the position of Executive Assistant to Lex Luthor.”

Her mother sighed. “True, there definitely will be rumors regarding how earned such a position without much prior experience.”

Lia sagged in her seat, her mind a tornado of thoughts. Should she accept? Should she decline? Should she msyteriously disappear off the face of the Earth, never to be seen again? Decisions, decision, so many decisions with so many consequences and variables at play that made Lia’s head ache. She had time, but not enough. It was late in the evening on Friday, and Luthor wanted an answer by Monday afternoon. Great. Just a couple dozen hours till D-Day. Fan-fucking-tastic.

“What about a trial basis?” Her mother blurted out. Lia cocked her eyebrow, gesturing for her to continue.

“Like, what if, you were his Executive Assistant for a couple of months, on a trial basis. Just to dip your toes in and get a feel for the job. That sort of thing.” She said with a shrug.

Lia’s eyes widen, as if a light bulb went off her head. “Oh my god. Why didn’t I think of that? That’s prefect! Not only would it allow me ample time to see if I’m ready for such a position, but also invaluable experience if I were too not take the position or Luthor deemed me unworthy of it.”

With a sort of plan set in mind, Lia continued to eat, all with a smile on her face. Even if after the trial basis, Luthor deems me unfit, I still get away with a couple months worth of pay that would pay off my student loans, not to mention invaluable experience. I win regardless of the fact if I get the job or I don’t!

With the sun setting, and Lia eating her fill, while catching up with her mother on other past events, Lia can’t seem to stop smiling. Even if she’s going to become the (Reculant) Executive Assistant to Lex Luthor, who also is a Supervillian.

That’s it folks! I had a lot of fun writing this in all honesty, even though it’s not that good. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Till next time.

[everlarkficexchange]

Feast Your Eyes

Written by: @savvylark @lovely-tothe-bone @ra3lynn3

Prompt 91: Peeta as the tatted, ex-rocker owner of bakery chain (like in in DC-Balto area called dangerously delicious pies). Katniss is an attached (engaged or otherwise unavailable) food critic or reporter doing a piece on him but she and P can’t deny the attraction. Angst and such ensue. [submitted by Anonymous]

Rating: M; later change to E Warning: Vague references to child abuse, sexual innuendos, eventual smut

A/N: Through random chance the three of us came together to do this prompt justice and somehow have been on the same wavelength, fueling one another’s ideas. Dreaming up this universe has been such a joy. Having multiple authors, it just made sense for us to beta one another’s work, I am really grateful to @savvylark and @ra3lynn3 for their patience, encouragement, time, and hard work. They’ve taught me so much. Thank you to the lovely anonymous who submitted this, wish we knew who you were! We hope this surpasses your expectations! This will be multi chapter so lots to look forward to Everlarker’s, the first one is by the ever fun @savvylark

Katniss tapped her pencil nervously on the desk, impatiently waiting for her boss. She was supposed to start on this human interest piece which, as a fairly new writer, was entirely outside of her comfort zone.

Katniss was the writer for the dessert portion of foodie magazine, The Feast.

“I would much rather taste and describe the delicate nuances of liver and haggis than write a human interest piece.” She muttered to herself, her face contorted in disgust at the thought of haggis and liver.

Katniss had been in an especially dark mood all day, still fuming over her recent weekend with her boyfriend Thom. It was as if he had done a complete 180 on Katniss. He was once so loyal, and stable with a well paying job; not to mention tall, dark, and handsome. Thom was everything she had been looking for now that Katniss decided to settle down. The discussion of their future, with pretty suggestive hints, seemed to have worked. Their weekend away seemed like it would have been the perfect time, only to be left-

Katniss’s thoughts were interrupted by the knock on her door. Her long dark braid flipped over her shoulder when she stood, she expected her boss. Instead it was Johanna, her friend and superior here at the magazine, who entered.

Small but menacing, Johanna had a powerful stance. Her cropped brunette hair fell just below her jawline in a tapered bob, while shorter and spiky at the nape of her neck.

“Hey brainless, so what happened this weekend? That text was pretty vague.” Katniss’s brash friend asked.

Covering her face with both hands Katniss answered, “Oh my gosh! No! I don’t even want to talk about it. Ugh! I don’t know how to feel about Thom or where our relationship stands.”

Johanna narrowed her chocolate brown eyes in curiosity, so Katniss continued, “It seemed like Thom was going to propose. All the signs were there: romantic getaway, candlelit dinner, an entire weekend to relax. Madge thought so, I thought so, you did too, right?”

Johanna nodded her head in agreement.  

“A few times in the past month I could have sworn that he had a ring box in his pocket. He was not that happy to see me, if you know what I mean?” Katniss suggestively raised her eyebrows with a saucy smirk, her silver eyes were alive with mischief.

Johanna flashed a wicked grin. She was familiar with Katniss’s wild side. Even if she’d kept that part of her self separate, stored away from her clean-cut, straight laced, more conservative boyfriend. That wild side always slipped out in the presence of Johanna Mason.

The look she gave Johanna turned more serious, Katniss spoke vulnerably, “You know what my parents were like… I can’t, I can’t. I don’t know how to feel. I was left alone in a hotel all weekend, while he ran around for his boring job doing… What does he do again? Professional bank paperwork?” The two women were slightly allergic to sappy situations, so before Johanna started breaking out in hives they made light of the topic.

“Being professionally boring… at decrepit banks?” Johanna answered, her eyes narrowed, “but he doesn’t work at the bank?”

Katniss had been dating Thom for nine months. She kept forgetting what he did for work so much so that over time it became a joke. Thom was essentially the grim reaper of banks. He worked for the FDIC shutting failing ones down, the most boring job Katniss had ever heard of. It was all paperwork and involved some travel.

Katniss had an unstable childhood that involved negligent wild parents. She was drawn to Thom because he had been a calm, consistent, reliable presence. To Katniss, Thom meant stability. Thom had no student loans, owned his own home, had no car payment because he was able to buy his car outright. She had yet to see Thom use a credit card to pay for anything. Katniss knew date night would never have been on the 2nd of the month, that night was designated for paying bills. He read about planning for his retirement, reliable financial strategies, and unrisky business investments. Thom’s weeks were structured and predictable. Katniss found it comforting. Just what she thought she needed in her life.

Katniss explained to Johanna that Thom was constantly on his phone the whole weekend, left to fax something, interrupted their conversation during dinner to reply to emails. Katniss was so disappointed when she was abandoned in the hotel room while Thom disappeared yet again, because “Something came up from work, you don’t mind do you?”

His concern was false, he didn’t really ask.

Katniss was not amused and decided she had enough. They cut the weekend short and parted ways with little conversation. Thom flew to one location for work, while Katniss had flown back home.

Madge arrived at the airport and had found a seething, curse-muttering Katniss on fire. Her childhood best friend embraced the scowling dark haired woman and sped off to the nearest ice cream shop to cheer her up. Something decadent always seemed to lighten Katniss’ mood.

Johanna listened intently and shook her head. Not in pity, but frustration with what a terrible weekend her friend had endured.

“Well screw him, let’s go out tonight?” Johanna offered.

Katniss smiled at the idea, but her face fell when she remembered, “I have to work on this big story first, raincheck?”

Johanna nodded.

Upon hearing the familiar footsteps down the hall, Johanna decided to make her exit and headed out of Katniss’s office.

Her boss arrived with an arm full of research for Katniss.

The blond woman appeared every bit the classic professional, put together in a feminine fitted gray pants suit and low heels. Unexpected is the innovative rebel that embodies Cressida’s very nature, that is until she turned her left side into view.

Katniss smiled as she took in Cressida’s profile, ¼ of her head was shaved in a dramatic undercut intricate and beautiful green vine designs were tattooed on her scalp, and the edge of her hair that met bare skin was french braided thinly down her head.

“Right on time.” Katniss remarked sarcastically.

Cressida laughed at her quip, dropping a pile of papers and pictures on the desk.

Katniss scowled, expecting her boss to explain.

Cress, so used to the frequent scowl stared back unperturbed. They called her the boss for more reasons than her talented writing, her shrewd business sense, and excellence in advertising. Cressida could handle any personality type.

Everything dropped on Katniss’s desk included positive and delicious reviews about the bakery owner’s breads, cakes, pastries, and desserts.

Describing food and writing about it was what Katniss excelled at. Cressida knew this.

After reading every word about the most delicious, mouth-watering desserts, all Katniss could think was “I’ve GOT to get my mouth on one of these things!”

One particular review claimed his cakes to be “simply orgasmic.” Her dirty mind contemplated the thought, wondering what a cake induced mouth orgasm was like…

Katniss was left so intrigued by this baker, by the time she had reached the end of the stack she was left salivating, stomach groaning.

And strangely aroused.

Katniss snatched up her phone, immediately dialed her best friend, “Hey Madge, let’s do an early lunch? I’m starving!”

——-

Katniss once again called the bakery owner, Peeta, to confirm their meeting. He had a deep timbre to his voice, a kindness in the way he spoke. Peeta was efficient and quick to the point over the phone, which Katniss appreciated.

It was a short 45 minute drive to Capitol Hill, a small district in the heart of Seattle. Lost in the song Katniss let loose and belted out lyrics along with the radio. Sometimes she missed this side of herself.

She admired the modern updates throughout the area, an artisan bistro, colorful boutiques, various ma and pa shops that had been rejuvenated for a younger crowd. Even the bars were modernized yet still held older, small town elements. Industrial and historic buildings met modern and artistic designs.

She pulled up to the bakery and vaguely remembered wanting to attend it’s opening.  Thom insisted they attend one of his work functions instead. Which, in hindsight, should have been a red flag. He hadn’t been paying attention to the things she was interested in for a long time.

Katniss took in the outside of the bakery before stepping inside. The awning and structure of the building gave a nod to a generational family bakery while the black and industrial accents gave the appearance of a hard edge. The front of the sign was a nod to tattoo artistry and the logo of the bakery was decidedly masculine. For some reason this made Katniss smile.

A bell chimed as she entered. Soft rock music was playing. Studying the photos on the wall she could tell this is no ordinary baker.

[eusebiacheshire-blog]

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[thekoogler-blog]

The Koogler Watches Comic Con Trailers 2018

Comic Con Trailer

Glass.

I’ll be honest, not too concerned about this one. I feel like this trilogy should have been like a duology. Split could have been like a 20 min lead in to Glass. Like he takes the girls, there’s a montage of all his personalities, the little rascal, ms doubtfire, or maybe she was more professor mcgonagall. And then there was like his demon one who could bend bars or whatever. He’s fully demon now like climbing the walls like a cricket demon. So I’m trying to figure out the twist from the trailer, and I guess the twist is going to be this is all in their heads. Or the twist is that they’re like actually heroes and villains and then they need to save the world. The twist is that there will be a 4th movie. They’re going to wring this out and try and get one last movie out of it. Plus it has pouty face Sarah Paulson in it, I’ll probably catch this one on the VOD or something. I’ve never seen the whole movie of Unbreakable but I got the key points. Willis survives the crash, he’s unbreakable and Jackson is super breakable. He’s like the guy from SpongeBob the chocolate episode. I won’t lie, when he fell down those steps, I kind of laughed, which is like some hidden superpower that I have. I can’t get through Precious without cracking up at least three times. But anyway…….

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Three MeowMeowBeenz

 AQUAMAN

I feel like I don’t have to say much about this. I know the immense intense hate that some of the DC universe has for it. Mostly just the DCEU, the animated bit is good. The comics are good. The games are good. The movies, to me, are good too. Look, we didn’t have any of these movies, none, now we have them all over the place. I agree that we need quality over quantity, but on the DC side, we are just getting started. Let’s give it a chance. Now to the trailer. Man oh man. I’m digging the visuals. The inevitable war scene looks good. The giant jellies, the SEA TURTLES (side note, I love sea turtles. SO FUGGIN MAJESTIC), the deep sea monsters and riding sharks and sea horses and shig. DOOOOOOPE. I’m a big fan of under the ocean life in general so I’m here for all of it. They fixed the speaking thing from JL where they had to conjure a water bubble to talk, they just talk. Favorite part of this whole trailer, the sharks willing to just destroy the entire aquarium to help little AC. One thing I’m not too fond of, that red hair of Mera. And I do see the similarities of this and BP. But, there’s room for both. Always has been, always will be. I’m looking forward to seeing this because I want to see if maybe this is somehow going to set up Legion of Doom. We have the Joker, Lex, and Deathstroke, add in Manta with Cheetah coming in and then possibly Black Adam sometime in the future. I’d like to see Reverse Flash get added into this somewhere as well but hopefully DC pulls this off with all the shakeups. I’m just hoping its not going to be too heavy on the puns and one liners and what not. Arthurs transition from the surface world to becoming the king of Atlantis was no laughing matter and I hope that comes through on the screen.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Five MeowMeowBeenz

  Shazam!

Yes BOYEEEEEEEE. As per usual with the DCEU, people have a lot of complaints, but I’m here for this one as well. Kid in a superhero body came through in the trailer and I’m looking forward to it. This is one movie that needs to have that light and breezy funny and easy touch. Billy is a foster kid down on his luck, home to home, who just got the gift of a lifetime. Needs to be funny and goofy, but have the action of MOS. Shazam and whoever he is fighting need to be slingin each other all over the place and what not. I like the suit and everything, but the lightning on the chest looks more like a night light than anything else. But you don’t really get much other than a quick intro to Shazam. Tells you the gist of who he iis. Meets the Wizard, says the name, now he is Shazam. Just like I was talking about with Aquaman with the LOD filling out, for the next one, the Justice League should be filling out as well. Now is the time to plant the seeds for it. Lex needs to be in the background of all of this plotting and scheming with Deathstroke putting his team together to take on the League. Maybe do the JLA: Doom storyline but have Lex in the driver seat instead of Vandal Savage. Yeah, yeah, that could work

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Five MeowMeowBeenz

 Godzilla: King of Monsters

So, I won’t lie, I know nothing about anything Godzilla other than what I learned from the Godzilla 2000. I think I saw pieces of the one released before this, but not much. I don’t remember if he fought a monster or not, but. This looks ok, but ONLY IF Godzilla is fighting all of these monsters. Also, Clair de Lune in the trailer. That gets two BIG THUMBS up from me. And it sounds like Vera Farmiga is going to be a bad guy somehow. Cuz Friday Night Lights coach and Millie BB don’t seem to like her. It looks like we’re going to see Mothra, and I’m guessing Rodan and the three headed one….Golgon? I don’t know names. I saw the moth one, there was a flying fire one, and the three headed one. Looks like its going to be a more dramatic world smasher. You don’t play Clair de Lune in a movie that is a bit classy

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Four MeowMeowBeenz

 Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

You guys…..you guys you guys……you……guys. When I hear that music and I see those towers. You know the music that I’m talking about. Even though Harry isn’t here anymore that sense of wonder and magic still pulls you in. It still makes you want to watch WHATEVER they put out. Its great stuff, it really is. But this is about to give us a little glimpse into the world young Dumbledore, some of his humble beginnings. We get some returning faces along with some new ones. I personally can’t wait to see this and Nicholas Flamel. I mean….I feel we’re getting deep into some of the things we kind of just glossed over in the original series. I can’t wait. I’ll see this alone if need be because I’m always ready to dive back into the Wizarding World. I’d like a movie on the founders of Hogwarts to be honest, there has to be a story there. Right? RIGHT!!!! I just want more stories and more books and more all of it.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Six MeowMeowBeenz

 The Walking Dead Season 9

So…..Rick is an old man now. Yes, there will be a time jump I suppose, and I still need to catch up because the last episode I saw was Carl getting bit and dying in a sewer. Do I care that much about that to stop watching the show? No. Will I catch up? Yes. Do I know what’s about to happen? Yes. Everyone seems to be living in harmony. The last of the Saviors, the bad ones at least seem to be gone. The Sanctuary, Kingdom, and the Hilltop, along with the trash people, seem to be living in harmony. But, there’s some cracks in the armor. The people seem to maybe not be getting along together. Some don’t want to be in a big group and others don’t want to play nice with each other. I mean, you had to expect that this would come, the Saviors did some messed up shig to everyone and forgiving them aint gonna be as easy as 1, 2, 3. This is also the fabled season of Rick and Maggie leaving I think. There is a shot of some boots walking with blood dripping down. I wager Rick is going to get but of course and die or whatever and Maggie or Michonne is taking over. And maybe the feud between Darryl and Rick is going to boil over. My man Dan Fogel looks like he’s going to play a part in this. Maybe he’s a Whisper. Who knows. But I will watch it, but I have to watch half a season, plus Preacher is on so I’m gonna fit this shignattle in here somewhere. I won’t lie, after the whole meeting with Negan where he first arrived, I gotta say my interest in TWD has waned from about 100 to a 90, maybe an 89. But I’m still fully on the wagon.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Four MeowMeowBeenz

 Disenchantment

I don’t know. I don’t know. I don’t know if I dreamed this maybe, but didn’t they try this already with another Matt Groening show that didn’t work out. But I hear Abbi, I hear Keegan, not sure who the goblin person is, but I like all the stuff. Most of the stuff so I’ll watch and take a quick sneakle peekle and see if it keeps my interest.

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Two MeowMeowBeenz

 Titans

Yall. This one gon be zoppity. These are no longer Teen Titans. These are just straight up Titans as evidenced by the trailer giving the the large TV MA right in the beginning. With Raven being such a central part of the trailer, you already know who’s coming to dinner. That’s right, I know my boy Trigon is going to be making an appearance, how, when, and in what capacity, we don’t know. But, I’m anxious to see it. The core crew from the show is there, Robin, Star, Raven, and Beast Boy, but I’m guessing in this universe, Cyborg has been drafted to the JL and they are getting two new additions, Hawk and Dove, played by Thad Castle and ARods ol girl. The one thing I’m really anxious to see, just what the hell did Batman do to make Robin that….damn…mad. Because there is an episode here called Jason Todd, so this whole I’m kinda Jason Todd but I’m also Dick is gone. He’s got a real grudge against the Bat in this one with the standout line from the trailer

“Fuck Batman”

I mean, I’m in. Plus add in the fact that Jason Todd will be mentioned in the show, throw in the Doom Patrol, and Wonder Girl. I’m getting more of a Young Justice vibe (great comic by the way), from this than anything. With just a splash of adultness. I mean Robin really stepped on that guys face pretty friggin hard

Koogler Scale of Watchability: Five MeowMeowBeenz

 There were other trailers that I didn’t mention, Arrow, the Flash, the Orville, Black Lightning, Yeah, I’m not caught up on these either so I didn’t watch because I don’t know what happen with Flash and the Thinker. I don’t know what happened with the Arrow crew Diaz or Dominguez or whatever his name is. And I don’t know what happened with Black Lightning and Tobias Church. Hoping they didn’t kill him because I like him.

[dawnfelagund]

10 Questions M-Thing

I got tagged by @nimium-amatrix-ingenii-sui! Whee!

1. When/how did you start making yourself “at home” on the webs?

Getting involved with Tolkien fandom really gave me the kick in the pants to become more than just a casual Internet user. Before that point--we’re talking the early 2000s here--I was pretty ignorant user. (Almost everyone was!) I could email ... but I also forwarded hoax emails about Congress imposing a 5 cent tax on every email sent and thought I was Fighting the Good Fight. (Embarrassing!)

I remember getting involved in Tolkien fandom and setting up my LiveJournal (because everyone had one) and then frantically emailing my sister to teach me some super-simple HTML because the LJ rich-text editor was completely whack. Over the next few months, I learned LJ, mailing lists, instant messenger, and basic HTML, then moved on to full HTML and CSS and eFiction and eventually built my own website. Now I’m learning intermediate-level Drupal and always threatening to learn PHP and finally take over the world.

2. What current (or past) hype leaves you completely cold?

I really am monofandom (Tolkien). I see the occasional thing slip past on my dash for another fandom that is moderately interesting, but one of the reasons I feel like a square peg here is because I’m so boringly monofandom.

3. If you could have dinner with any fictional character, who would it be? Why? What would you like to talk about?

Maedhros. I find him one of the most fascinating characters in anything I’ve ever read.

I’d love to hear his side of the story and how he regards “Pengolodh’s Silmarillion.” I’d love to hear what his youth in Valinor was like. I’d love to know what was truth, what was exaggeration, what was propaganda. I’d want to know what his mother, father, and brothers were like. I’d want to know a whole bunch of stuff about Elven culture.

I’d probably need to take him to dinner again to fit it all in! :D

4. What’s your favourite holiday/ holiday tradition?

My favorite holiday is Halloween/Samhain. I love the secular Halloween traditions because I like creepy, scary things, and it gives Mr. Felagund and me the flimsy excuse to do nothing but watch horror movies all October. (Right now, we’re watching only Christmas movies, which I like much less and am honestly sick of with still a week and several more to go.)

From the perspective of spiritual practice, Samhain is the day when we honor those who have departed before us. We set an empty place at the table that night to remember those we’ve lost. I feel especially close to them on that night.

5. You’ve got the chance to be involved with a TV adaptation of The Silmarillion! Which role would you like to take?

Screenwriter or consultant. My biggest fear of any adaptation of The Silmarillion is that it will lack nuance and will favor a good-evil interpretation of the characters.

6. If you could have one language magically uploaded into your brain so you can speak and read it fluently, which one would you choose? Why?

Old English. It would make my research so much easier. (I’ve taken an Old English course but still suck at it. I did all of my own translations for my MA thesis, which was akin to rolling boulders up a steep hill.)

7. Favourite time in history (to read about, not necessarily to live in)?

Anglo-Saxon England. I wrote my MA thesis on oral theory and Beowulf.

8. Favourite sport (either to watch or to practice yourself)?

Freestyle rollerskating. I used to be quite good when I was younger and had regular access to a rink, but even now, skating feels like flying. My first skating teacher also did a lot to heal the damage that had been done to me after five years being bullied by my elementary PE teacher.

I also love kayaking and cross-country skiing. Any team sports can buzz off. The aforementioned elementary PE teacher ruined me forever on anything where I could be humiliated in front of or let down my teammates.

9. What was your dream job as a kid? How do you feel about that job now?

I wanted to be an entomologist! Throughout third grade, I signed all of my papers “Insect Walls.” I remember my mom getting mad at me for bringing home permission slips that said, “I give permission for Insect Walls to attend the field trip to Washington, DC.” She’d erase the “Insect” and replace it with “Dawn.” No fun! (My third grade teacher was supportive of my name change. She was the best teacher I ever had.) And my sole elementary school friend once forgot to make an anniversary gift for her parents, so I gave her an essay I’d written on flies, and she gave it to them as a gift.

Herein lies why I was so unpopular until I divested myself of my childhood classmates by choosing a high school where almost none of them went.

But honestly? I still love insects and spiders and would go back to school in an instant and study entomology just for the fun of it.

10. You’ve got one year to travel the world, spending each month in a different location. Which 12 places would you choose?

Oh man! This one’s hard ... One month in Ireland and the UK to visit the places I’ve missed and do research. One month in Denmark to visit @hrymfaxe and do more research. (I’m apparently still the type of person who will give an essay on flies as an anniversary gift!) One month in India. One month in Egypt, followed by a month in southern Africa. One month in Australia and/or New Zealand. One month in Thailand, then a month in Japan. One month to visit the Amazon. (It was my dream as a young, fly-essay-writing, wannabe entomologist to work in the Amazon studying ants.) One month to live in an indigenous village in Central America or Mexico. One month in Antarctica. Then finish up in the Western U.S. to visit my sister and SIL, see California, and visit the Southwest.

Then back to Vermont. :)

11. What’s the next creative project you’ve got planned?

I really need to finish the Tamlin novel I started for last year’s NaNoWriMo.

But as far as fresh stuff, I’ve been mentally developing a new novel for several years now. The tentative title is The Goddess of Unloved Things. I have so much in my head for it and absolutely nothing written down. I hope I don’t die before I do something with it ... not like it will be a loss to anyone but me and I won’t exactly be in a position to care! I am loosely constructing it based on the imagery that seeps into my brain when I listen to the Smashing Pumpkins’ album Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness. It’s in the Midhavens universe, not like many people are still around who remember when I was futzing with that.

I got tagged for this by @independence1776 as well, so I’ll submit my questions and tag people when I post the answers to that one!

[tessatechaitea]

Superman: Year One: Book One

I can't wait to find out why Superman shoved Jim Gordon's head up his ass!

Jonathan Kent isn't a kind and generous man who wanted to take care of a baby. I mean, maybe he was but what does it even matter if something else is manipulating his actions?

Do audiences enjoy stories where characters are manipulated by Gods or destiny to become the thing they're meant to become to do the thing they're meant to do or is this just writers being too lazy to let a story tell itself along the way? My view of audiences would be severely diminished if it could get any lower and also if I were to believe they preferred stories about Chosen Ones rather than regular people who rise to the occasion to do something heroic. What makes a story better if we learn that the hero was always meant to be the hero? Isn't it more rewarding to have heroes like Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee who struggled to do what was right with no guarantee that they were cosmically destined to succeed? The only thing this whole idea that there has to be some thing (or Thing) manipulating events from behind the curtain is remove free will from the hero's actions, thus making the hero nothing more than an automaton programmed to succeed. Jonathan brings the baby home and Martha is all, "Whelp! I guess we have a kid now! Praise Jesus!" And Jon is all, "Praise Jesus and his might rocket ship from Heaven!" And both of them feel slightly guilty because of all the times they cursed God for giving them faulty reproductive organs. Jon and Martha are still young so at least they can pretend that they kept faith that God would provide them a child. But I bet if they had been creeping up on the age of Abraham when he finally boinked the help, they would have fucked up God's plan too! Jon and Martha quickly begin calling each other Ma and Pa because why not? It's not like anybody is going to somehow come along and take their new space baby away from them! They found it and so it's as good as theirs. It's not like Kansas has any laws on the books that say you can't keep a baby you found in a field that fell out of the sky in an alien rocket ship. Are there? Probably not, right? And even if there are, nobody in town seems to question where the fuck Jon and Martha got a kid.

Oh yeah. I'm supposed to believe Clark can feel hot oatmeal. What flavor is it? Kryptonite? I mean, it is green.

Stupid penis! Every time I turn the page, it keeps thinking we're going to see thick chicks on space motorcycles with their tits flopping out and huge bushes streaming out from between their thighs! This isn't Heavy Metal, you stupid organ! I blame my brain for constantly thinking while reading this, "This comic book magazine sure would be better with more tits." Between being a toddler and the first day of high school, nothing important happens. I mean, some important things probably happen. Like Clark's first wet dream. But Frank Miller doesn't think that's important enough to make the story. I don't know why. I want to see Ma asking Kent why he hid his sheets out in the field and also why he was re=plastering the ceiling of his bedroom. In high school, all the kids start talking about how amazing Clark Kent is. But he hangs out with the fat kid and the goth kid and the other kids that are probably losers in ways that I can't tell by John Romita Jr's art. They all just kind of look like John Romita Jr people. I think they others are misfits because one wears glasses and the other one is black and the other one is Latino. That just means they don't fit in with the white rural farm kids, I guess? I don't know how high school works in rural America. I grew up in Silicon Valley. Our nerds were the white kids who played Dungeons and Dragons. Our popular kids were the Filipinos who were style conscious when most of us still weren't wearing deodorant or washing our hair regularly enough. I would see them hanging out at lunch and think, "How do they get their hair to stay so high and look so good?!" If only I had known that part of that answer was simply, "They wash it regularly," maybe I wouldn't have been a big misfit loser jerk! Clark sees the bullies picking on little Pete Ross (you have to say that in a high-pitched sneering voice. Unless you don't want to be a bully. Do you not want to be a bully?) and decides, "Enough is enough!" Even though he's not supposed to stand out or else the government will take him away to do experiments on him, he has to end the rash of bullying at Smallville High School! This looks like a job for Clark Kent! I don't think he's decided to call himself Superboy yet. Apparently nobody in town knows how to stop a bunch of asshole kids from bullying other kids. It's just one of those Earth problems that can't be solved by Earthlings! It must be Clark Kent's destiny to stop bullying once and for all! And that's what Clark does. He takes the novel approach that nobody thought of and asks the bullies, "Hey? Could you stop picking on my friends?" Sure, that doesn't work. They just see it as Clark starting a fight. So they oblige him and throw a few punches. Clark blocks one and the bully's wrist breaks. So now the bullies realize they can't win and stop bullying! Yay! Except they don't. They just bully even harder because why not? They're shitting on other people because their life is shit. Why would they not increase the shitting if something happened in their life to make their life even shittier?! Something like Clark "Break a Boy's Bones" Kent!

Why do they seem so happy about Carlos being called a spic and getting his tooth knocked out?! Fucking asshole weirdos!

Lana tells Clark she has a plan to stop the bullies. Her plan involves journalism! She has pictures of the bullies assaulting the weirdos and she thinks they can get the police to listen to them. But the goth weirdo overhears their plans and he's a big weirdo traitor! I guess if he snitches on the weirdos, he doesn't get beat up. I bet he's going to become a supervillain some day. When Lana leaves her house at night thinking she's going to meet Clark, she's set upon by the bullies! They steal her pictures and threaten to rape her. These aren't just bullies! They're criminal psychopaths and I'm sorry I tried to understand their bully behavior earlier! I was thinking, "Maybe this story will be about the ambiguities of youth and how hard it is to navigate the world between childhood and adulthood, especially when you have serious issues with your parents and home life and self-esteem!" Instead I should have been thinking, "Clark and the weirdos are Good with a capital "G" and the bullies are Evil with a capital "E"! Hopefully the story will make this explicit so that I can truly just hate the bullies and not mind when Clark drowns them in the reservoir! And the best way for a narrative to help me understand how evil they are is if they commit attempted rape!" Whew! I sure am glad to know that whatever Clark does to them now, they totally deserve it! I'd hate for Clark to have to come up with a real life solution that stops the bullying and teaches the bullies how to cope with their own problems without resorting to small violences against other kids! After saving Lana from being raped, Clark seems to insinuate that maybe Lana should fuck him as thanks. He's all, "Let me court you!" And she's all, "Whatever." And he's all, "Sleep tight!" And she's all, "Yeah. Sure. I'll sleep. Tight." I think that means she's going to masturbate? I'm not good at sexual innuendo but I figured it must be because the very next panel begins like this:

That's definitely sexual innuendo!

Kent forgets that he's supposed to be stopping the bullies because he starts dating Lana. They sneak off and Clark closes his eyes and pulls out his penis and is all, "Just touch it Lana!" And she's all, "Mmmph mmph mmmph!" And he's all, "Please! Just touch it!" And she's all, "Mmph mmmph mmph!" And he opens his eyes and realizes his penis is in Lana's mouth and he blows her brains all over the field with his load. Later, after my fantasy is concluded, I return to the actual story where they only kiss. Lame. After high school ends, Clark joins the navy. But not after banging Lana Lang all night! And that's not something I made up! It's right there in the comic book! Superman: Year One: Book One Rating: It was a bit treacly but not super bad. Ha ha!. But I still don't know if the bullies ever got their comeuppance! Was I supposed to be satisfied with Clark bloodying a few noses and then saying to Lana, "We'll use reporting to get them good!"? How disappointing!

[lookatthisdork]

Opinion piece: DC House of Horror (2017)

First of all SPOILERS for DC House of Horror!

Second, this is only my OPINION. It might be unpopular. It might even be offensive. But I want to talk about this before going back to my normally scheduled “hey look at this cool stuff” and “it’s stupid AU time!” content.

I did not read the Green Arrow and Captain Marvel/Shazam stories since I’m not currently invested in those characters. *shrugs*

The rest are...meh. The whole series seems to have Keith Giffen credited with the plot ideas, but each story has a different script writer. So I have no idea who I’m criticizing in each of these blurbs. Probably Keith. I don’t know.

Bump in the Night (feat Superman; by Edward Lee)

I have admittedly little experience with horror movie conventions, but I’m pretty sure this was aiming for the opening of a monster movie. Creepy, dangerous alien falls from space, kills the locals before making its way to more populated areas. The poor schmuck that finds it first always dies quickly and painfully, which is what happened to Pa Kent here. Kind of a cheap death, but it fits the genre convention.

The dramatic irony of Martha Kent trying to call her husband and her refusing to leave the house when something strange is happening outside were pulled off pretty well. Overall, I think she reads as a spirited but ultimately doomed horror protagonist.

My problem with this is that the alien (”Clark/Baby Superman”) reads as a complete cardboard-cutout monster cliche. Why did he kill Pa and Ma Kent? No reason is even alluded to. He just kills them because they’re there.

(If I were writing this, I would have played up the naive-creepy-child factor. Have Clark accidentally kill Jonathan Kent since he’s a child who doesn’t know his own strength and has never seen a dead person before. If you want to keep the alien-vibe, have him not recognize that he killed a person. Imagine a kid using a magnifying glass on an ant, then replace the ant with Pa and Ma Kent. I like to think that would have been more memorable.)

Man’s World (feat Wonder Woman; by Mary Sangiovanni)

Well, they definitely have the aesthetic they were going for. The mixed chronology is actually not as confusing as I was expecting since the artists made good use of the colors and a wardrobe change to help guide the reader through the flashbacks. I actually felt creeped out by this one.

The only problem is...this doesn’t read like Diana AT ALL. Having Diana not speak English is a great way to keep her menacing, but it also destroys any ability for the audience to know what’s going on in her head. Without her words, we have only her actions, and...she’s just going around killing people? Who haven’t done anything?? (Except the last guy, but he’s one out of six on-page deaths.)

What is her motivation? Why is she doing these things? What happened to Wonder Woman, righteous warrior and defender of the innocent?

(This would have been excellent if it was a villain character instead of Diana, just saying.)

Crazy for You (feat Harley Quinn; by Bryan Smith and Brian Keene)

Is it a ghost? Or is it a hallucination? Both? I’m not sure, and I love that I’m not sure.

That said, I’m definitely not a Harley expert...does she read in-character? I don’t know, she feels flat to me. And something about cutting hard away from witnessing the murders. Unreliable narrator is in effect, I want more concrete details of the murders from Chuck’s point of view.

Last Laugh (feat Batman; by Nick Cutter)

Ha. Hahaha. This is the one I reblogged panels from yesterday. 

Good things first: capitalizing on Batman-Joker parallels has been done since forever, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I think the opening and closing scenes are well-narrated and well-composed. The much smaller batcave and the gun are good hints that something’s very different about this universe. The Joker’s voice was pretty good, for the most part. I wouldn’t change much of anything in the first half of this.

The second half...hahaha.

My beef with this one isn’t that Jason was killed; it was that he was killed for shock value and as an undisguised reference to super-(in)famous Death in the Family. It does not add constructively to the narrative at all. Last Laugh is clearly a hard AU with only the barest resemblance to canon; leaning so hard on canon that you only have one panel (technically two panels) with Jason in your story means that I just get angry instead of mournfully distraught when Jason is killed. It’s cheap and unearned in my opinion.

More broadly, there’s mixed signals as to the nature of Bruce’s delusion. Is he going around beating/killing people dressed as Batman? Or does he do his murders specifically dressed as the Joker? The later red panels indicate the former while the zoom-in on his locker at the end implies the latter. This whole story would have been much stronger if the writer had picked one interpretation and stuck with it from beginning to end.

(I would go with a strong Batman/Joker divide where Batman is still the vigilante and the Joker is the only “one” doing the crimes. Have the blue and red panels read as Batman vs Joker for most of the first read-through, but also have them consistently show Delusion vs Truth for the second read-through. I would also have Joker’s call-outs be a little more ambiguous so the twist actually sneaks up on you as opposed to be super obvious from the first red panel on.

And goddamn, if you’re going to kill Jason, at least have him show up in the narrative beforehand as Robin in the Delusion panel and ordinary-child-Jason in the Truth panel. Have him walk in on something he shouldn’t have, which leads to his murder and Bruce’s subsequent final mental break. Hell, maybe even imply that Robin was never really a thing outside Bruce’s head to really hammer home the death of a child who did nothing wrong.

Work for the tragedy, is all I’m saying.)

Blackest Day (feat Hal Jordan and Justice League; by Brian Keene)

In my opinion, this is the strongest of the lot. Zombie Barry compromising the moon base - because he was looking for help and didn’t realize he was already doomed - is excellent. And terrifying, because Zombie Barry could start the apocalypse by himself, imagine how many people he could bite in a minute. Liked how Hal held onto hope all the way up until he felt himself changing, then decided to take a Last Stand rather than let himself become part of the problem.

Superman being off-planet was cheap. The timeline for the End of the World seems super contracted based on Constantine’s transmission and the way the moon base was wholly in the dark. Wonder Woman and J’onn died very easily. Would have liked more fighting off the zombies, but this was short enough that there wasn’t a lot of time for that.

Having the World actually End...I’m never a fan of complete annihilation by zombies. (And what about Themyscira? Atlantis? Is DC Earth really completely depopulated?)

(I’m just saying, post-zombie-apocalypse AU. I’d read it.)

Unmasked (feat Two Face; by Wrath James White...that’s a weird name)

I think this one’s the weakest of the ones I read. I may not be the most well-read when it comes to Havey/Two-Face, but ugh. Serial Killer Harvey is something I don’t need in an official AU. Not to mention that that is not how skinning a person works - connective tissue between the skin and the muscle would mean that peeling each face would take way more time than shown. 

The Leviathan thing also takes up way too many panels and accomplishes nothing. NOTHING.

[tenyearsapeasant]

43. The Sent-Down Youth Return

There was a major incident in China in September of 1971. Chairman Mao's official successor, Vice Chairman Lin Biao suddenly got on a plane and flew away, then died when that plane crashed in Inner Mongolia. After that, things began to change in subtle ways.

In 1972, I was home for the new year when President Nixon visited China and shook Chairman Mao's hand. This was very clearly an attempt to warm up to America after ten years of worsening relations with the Soviet Union. The government was trying to use America, an ocean away, to exert some control over our neighbors to the north. My mother said this was the traditional method of keeping your friends far and your enemies close by.

President Nixon meets Chairman Mao in February 1972.

My family lived in the employee dormitories of the railroad department. Before the revolution the building was called a "Chinese garden." Every Thursday afternoon, the residents' study group would meet in the courtyard. The female party official on the neighborhood committee was very loud, and I could hear everything she said from my room.

She said, "Why did Nixon come to see Chairman Mao? First, because we scared him during the Korean War. Second, after the Cultural Revolution, he's lost hope of peacefully changing us. So, he is surrendering to us." According to her, this was a sign of our victory.

Upstairs, I laughed out loud. America was always our biggest enemy, and this was how the party official was trying to reconcile that with the visit?

Everything has its counterpart. Twenty years later I was in Washington DC, in a building near the White House. There was a US government photo exhibition. The last one was from Vice Premier Deng Xiaoping's visit to America, where he was pictured standing next to President Carter. I remember the caption ended with, "... Our new allies - China." The implication here is that America won. No wonder once Deng Xiaoping returned, we started warring with Vietnam. It was like we were getting revenge for America's defeat to prove our worth as new allies. I thought about this, and felt that the alliance between America and China was very good for our own safety - it was now less important to send hundreds of thousands of young people to the borderlands.

In those years, as the political and economic arenas changed, so did the policy around sent-down youth.

Starting in 1970, not every middle or high school graduate needed to be sent to the countryside. The "four directions" returned: one could focus on the countryside, borderlands, factories and mines, and the lower class. Some students could be assigned to factories in Shanghai. Because I was already in a village, my parents only had my little brother Jianyuan left. So he was able to get a job at the cargo shipping department. Half a year later Nixon came to visit, and we started needing to export manufactured goods to America. Jianyuan then transferred to an apprenticeship in a factory.

My mother always liked me, and would often say to my brother, "You're in the factory now because we lost your brother to the countryside."

The first time I heard of getting "sick leave" from the village was in 1970. A man from the Pioneer Production Brigade, by the name of Ru, had a brain infection. When he returned to Shanghai, I heard his residency had been transferred back and he wouldn't have to come back. A few years later, I heard that the criteria for sick leave had been expanded to include pre-existing conditions as well. For example, if your vision was worse than -8 diopters, you shouldn't have been sent down anyways and were allowed to leave.

Starting around the second half of 1974, there was another change. Those families where all the children were in villages while the parents were childless in Shanghai were allowed to bring one child back to Shanghai to work. As a result, Lu Yuping's older sister was able to return from a village in Jilin province, and Ma Liping's little sister was able to return from a village in Anhui province. Since the older of Xia Yuanlin's little sisters was already working in Shanghai, nobody else from his family was allowed to leave Yang'aosisters was already working in Shanghai, nobody else from his family was allowed to leave Yang'ao.

Chairman Mao and Vice Premier Deng Xiaoping.

In 1975, Chairman Mao wanted Vice Premier Deng Xiaoping to take charge of the daily operations of the country. Some of Deng Xiaoping's actions were seen by others as "walking the capitalist road." After a bit over a year, he was again disgraced and fired. In the early summer of 1977, I went to Lugang to hear an official announcement. Deng Xiaoping's former position had been restored. The commune added that Deng Xiaoping did make mistakes in the past, but had personally guaranteed Chairman Mao that they would not occur again.

Immediately after Deng Xiaoping (re)assumed office, the universities reinstated their entrance exams. The sent-down youth in Lugang ran to spread the good news: "We can apply to college!" But from 1966 to 1977 we had spent eleven years without any formal education. Our fingers, which had once grasped pens and pencils, had been reshaped by our hoes and sickles. The test was imminent, and there was no time to learn or review. So applying to college was not an easy task.

In 1977, the siblings Xia Yuanlin and Xia Yuanjie both got into college. That was the first entrance exam in ten years; allegedly the acceptance rate to colleges nationwide was four percent.

In the latter half of 1978, I heard in the villages that a Vice Premier had identified the "Four Dissatisfactions" of the Down to the Countryside movement. These were the dissatisfactions of the sent-down youth, their parents, the farmers, and the nation as a whole. At the end of the year, Deng Xiaoping replaced Chairman Hua Guofeng. Deng Xiaoping was officially the Vice Premier, but in reality he was the paramount leader. The newspapers began to criticize some aspects of the Cultural Revolution. With this, the sent-down youth's discontent of the last decade exploded.

Before the plenum, a Shanghainese sent-down youth in Yunnan province wrote "A Petition to Vice Premier Deng Xiaoping," which allegedly garnered six thousand signatures. The petition detailed the various complaints of the sent-down youth in Yunnan: first, they felt that life was monotonous and devoid of meaning; second, a majority were losing hope for their futures; third, some sent-down youth got married very early and only cared about their nuclear families; fourth, many female sent-down youth left the villages to try to get married in a city, which made it hard for the men who remained to find partners; fifth, the sent-down youth who spent their time at home with their parents were squandering their youth; sixth, the sent-down youth who thought only of getting home were unproductive workers. The petition asked for sent-down youth to be allowed back home.

At year's end, they organized a group of volunteers to head to Beijing. They held up a banner that said, "We want to go home" and started walking north. When they got to the province capital, Kunming, they lay down on the train tracks and blocked train traffic in order to force the officials to let them go to Beijing. After consulting with the national leadership, the party leaders in Yunnan allowed them to return to their homes.

The activists asking to go home in December 1978.

Almost simultaneously, during the Chinese new year celebrations in 1979, hundreds of thousands of sent-down youth went back to Shanghai to visit their families. The Shanghai government held various events to try to support the sent-down youth who were particularly unhappy. But there were still many sent-down youth who took to the streets and blocked railroads, asking to go to Beijing to make their case.

Suddenly, everything changed.

My mother sent a letter saying that the residents' council told her that she didn't need any specific reason to apply for my "sick leave." She had already done all the paperwork, and it was en route to Yongfeng.

About ten days later, I received not the paperwork but another letter from my mother. She wrote that the railroad department had told my father a few days prior that he could retire, which would open up a spot in the department's labor quota, which he could then transfer to me. Then I would be able to work for the railroad department. Now that paperwork had also been done, and it, too, was in the mail. She said that my father was still working every day at age sixty-four, and his wages had not gone down even a single cent.

Everything was changing so fast. I was in shock. I was unspeakably happy, of course, but had an inexplicable sense of loss as well.

The great return of the sent-down youth was beginning.

I was a substitute teacher at Yongfeng Middle School. After receiving my mother's second letter, I told the school what my plans were, and went back to Libeishang. I never did get that paperwork - it must have been lost in the mail.

There was one family in Libeishang that had a patriarch who worked outside of the village. He was over fifty years old. At the time he was home to celebrate the new year. He had heard that I was going back to Shanghai, and came to find me. Very seriously, he said, "In the past couple of years, all the college spots have gone to you sent-down youth. Us farmers have been upset by that. Now, you all are oing back to Shanghai. What are we villagers going to do then? Aren't we a country of workers and farmers? Is it right for the government to do this to us?"

I knew in my heart that the great pendulum of Chinese politics was swinging rapidly toward the right, but I didn't know how to explain this to him. Faced with his confusion and doubt, I was completely speechless. All I could do was explain the "subsitution" method that my father had used to get me a job. Later I heard that he quickly prepared his own retirement, transferring his job to his son. No individual among us is strong enough to turn the tides of history.

When the villagers learned that I was leaving, they came to my house to express their congratulations. The old team leaer, Zhang Famao, took issue, saying, "Old Xia's been here for so long, everyone should be thanking him for his time." Qingkui, Sixi, and other major figures in the village fell in line. Sixi had some education, and he suggested giving me a pennant. They all agreed. Famao went to buy the fabric, Sixi was to write the characters, and a deft young girl was to cut the characters out and attach them to the flag.

Famao and Sixi gave it to me without much ceremony. The pennant was red, with a yellow borrder. It wasn't very big, and there were three lines of white text attached to it. The first line was "A Memento For Comrade Xia Jianfeng," the next read "Leaving behind love for the people," and the last read, "A gift from the members of Libeishang, Feb '79."

I pointed at the characters on the pennant, and jokingly said to Sixi, "Wow, being a teacher really left an impression on you. The 'Jian' and the 'memento' are both written as alternate forms, and the 'leaving' and 'members' are in Traditional Chinese."

After they left, I stared at the four characters "遗爱待民, leaving behind love for the people." I couldn't tear my eyes away, and I felt a little twinge in my nose as a few tears welled up.

Did I really deserve such high praise? Wasn't this pennant a little like the old "Umbrella of the People?"

I read that the upstanding government officials of yore were described as "creating fortune for a whole region by working for one term." When they left the people would give them an umbrella in thanks. Inside, the umbrella would be covered with the names of his constituents. This was the "Umbrella of the People," signifying that the official had been able to protect the people from all sorts of misfortunes. I had also read that corrupt officials would sometimes force their citizenry to make one on their departure.

Later, I found the phrase in the encyclopedia, where it said that the "love" in the phrase also means "benefit" in this case.

When I was production team leader, I felt like I was fairly upstanding, but I didn't count as a government official.

That night I couldn't sleep as various scenes flashed through my head. Digging the emergency spillway at the reservoir during a storm; the soreness of my back during planting and harvesting; horsefly and leech bites; the mice running races above my bed; frozen in fear before the jackals; pigs oinking endlessly in hunger; my yellow dog happy to see me; jogging with a bamboo stalk on my shoulder; nearly falling over while carrying a big sack; villagers bringing me piping hot dishes...

I began to pack my things. Only then did I find that I had many things that I couldn't bring home: the water tank, water buckets, the dining table, benches, the pigpen, the chicken coop, the rice bin and the bed, the pantry cabinets, pottery urns, my hoe and sickle, the chamberpot...

There were twenty-six families in Libeishang, so I split the things I wasn't bringing with me into twenty six parts, and gave them to teach family. Something to remember me by, and a way to thank them for taking care of me for all these years.

After all this, I still had a substantial amount of luggage. Not only did I have the brown synthetic leather trunk from my arrival, I had a few camphorwood trunks and a round hardwood tabletop. To protect my luggage, the villagers made me an immeasurable amount of straw rope, to tie all of my things together tightly.

I went to the Lugang bank to transfer my account. I still had over two thousand yuan in my account. I wrote a two thousand yuan check and took the rest out as cash. The accountant sighed, saying, "If only more sent-down youth were like you. I heard you even gave your things away to all the families in Libeishang."

The accountant knew that in the future, when a villager was in dire need of some money, they would come to the bank and borrow some from that fund. If someone couldn't pay it back down the line, I wasn't going to collect on their debt.

As the last sent-down youth to leave the Pioneer Production Brigade, I went to their headquarters and asked if they could give me a tractor ride to the Jiangbian village railroad station in Le'an prefecture. The production brigade secretary told me, after some discussion they had already agreed that I could use the tractor whenever I wanted. To express their thanks for my ten years of work, they waived the fuel fee of fifty yuan.

The secretary especially emphasized that my contributions were worth far more than those fifty yuan; waiving the fee was to express their gratitude, not to remunerate me for my service.

It was a beautiful morning when I left Libeishang. The village sent four people with me to go down to the train station.

Libeishang village slowly moved farther and farther away, and I couldn't see it anymore.

Lugang bridge was up ahead. When we were picking tea tree seeds every year, I'd often rest my shoulders under the bridge here.

We passed by the production brigades' oil press. I felt the heat, as if I were still there, shirtless, pressing oil.

The road to Cunqian was close by, which I once traveled to go see Ma Liping.

The "Grain Mountain" was swelling towards me. This was the mountain we went to harvest tea tree seeds on.

The narrow "Flag Row Ridge" swept by in an instant. Was there someone digging on the ridge? Was someone singing a folk song?

The Pioneer Production Brigade oil-press near the road, in 1998.

I didn't know the next mountain by name, as it wasn't part of the Pioneer production brigade. I did know that there was the "White Cloud Temple" on it. They said that no matter how hot it was, you would feel cool when you went there. Unfortunately I never made it there.

The tractor rumbled louder as it worked its way up the mountain towards Guanqian Production Brigade.

Goodbye, Libeishang. I've bled in your mountains, I've sweated in your fields, I've dug in your rivers and I've fished in your ponds.

Goodbye, Libeishang. Even though you've humiliated me in some ways, you've given me bits of pride in others.

An individual is a tiny speck in the universe, but I still left the most important ten years of my life here.

I would definitely return, but I would be a different person then. You can't step in the same river twice, after all.

When we arrived at Jiangbian village, the railroad station was completely empty. There was a new announcement posted on the wall. It read, "Because this station's luggage rooms are full, we will not check baggage or other cargo starting today." It was dated five days prior. I guess I wasn't going to leave after all.

Someone who looked like a sent-down youth walked up. I asked, and he was also going back to Shanghai. He had already stayed here for three days because he was unable to check his luggage.

"There are too many people going back to the city. The railroads can't keep up. I hear tomorrow they'll open up the luggage again. I guess we'll just have to wait and see," he said.

"Where's all your luggage?" I asked.

"Oh, over there." He gestured with his mouth. "I come by twice a day, doesn't seem like people are going to steal it."

I guess I could try my luck too. The villagers helped me bring my luggage down, and put it next to that person's.

Then they climbed back onto the tractor and went back to Lugang.

At eight the next morning, the ticket window opened, and I successfully bought my train ticket. Even better, they were checking baggage again!

I transfered at Xiangtang station, and my final destination was Shanghai. I sat in the train, the cabin gently rocking. The wheels clattered over the sections of rail as they always did. I thought of my first train ride to Jiangxi, a decade before. Ten years had passed in the blink of an eye, and the tides of history were pushing me back onto a green train, but in the opposite direction. The train was going a different direction this time, and so was China.

The PA system crackled to life, bringing my attention to the present. The announcer used her well-trained voice to welcome us, "Travellers, we have arrived at the last stop Shanghai station." The way she said "travellers" was " 旅开, lükai," not the standard "旅客, lüke." There had been a skit about this in the 1950s. In any case, the railroad department stated that this was intentional, and created a friendly environment on the train.

When I got back to Shanghai, my father told me that because of the great return, the travel season for the new year was particularly busy. Even the ample luggage rooms of the Shanghai station were no longer ample, and they had to build temporary ones on the platforms.

When I went to the police station to transfer my residency, the young police officer looked up at me. What a coincidence, they said, you left in February 1969 and are returning in February of 1979, a round ten years. That's not easy.

Everyone in Shanghai knew that over ten years, over one million youths from a city of six million had been sent to the countryside. Their lives were certainly not easy.

But many in Shanghai didn't know that there were many peasants in China who, like those in Libeishang, were born, lived, and died in the same place for generations. Their lives were even harder.

In the innumerable villages of China there were many people whose natural environments were not as rich as what we had in Libeishang, and their lives were especially hard.

If you thought closely, I was lucky to have lived and worked in Libeishang for ten years.

Some sent-down youth got rashes and sores when they started working in the rice paddies. It was called "paddy rash." I was lucky, and didn't get it.

I later found out that I would get altitude sickness anywhere over 1500 meters above sea level. Fortunately, Libeishang was barely 100 meters above sea level.

Even more luckily, I was in the relatively rich Libeishang, where I could feed and clothe myself with just my own labor.

By the time of the sent-down youth's great return to the cities, many had already made their way back. Only about seven million were still living in the villages, about forty percent of the original total. Many of them were like Lu Yuping and I, unremarkable and not well connected. Over the course of a few months, all of these people went back into the cities.

In 1981, the departments of sent-down youth across the country began to shut down. Before the Lugang department was disbanded, the director went to all of the villages to ask them to buy the houses the government had built for the sent-down youth. The asking price was low, as they were only looking to offset the initial investment, but he had few takers.

In most villages, they knew that even if they didn't spend a single cent the houses were effetively theirs. If the whole department was being disbanded, was the government going to take the houses too? But Libeishang's Zhang Xianzong and Zhang Sixi decided they would do as the department said, and bought our house.

The director of the sent-down youth department heard there was still one sent-down youth living in the Qingshan Production Brigade, who didn't want to go back to the city. So he went to pay him a visit.

It turns out that this sent-down youth was very happy to stay in the village. He didn't have to work - his parents sent him an allowance regularly. He bought food from the village and vegetables from the villagers, and spent his days without a care in the world. He was living the pastoral lifestyle.

The director had no choice but to send someone to bring this last sent-down youth back to Shanghai.

Lugang Township of Yongfeng Prefecture of Jiangxi Province turned the page on their life with the sent-down youth.

The old Lugang Commune sent-down youth department office had become the Mount Linhua Tea Orchard lobby in 2013.

The old director retired soon after sending the last sent-down youth back to Shanghai. Many of the Lugang sent-down youth should recall that, in his office that doubled as a bedroom, beyond a bed, a desk, and a chair there was also a small file cabinet. Rumor has it that there were dossiers on every one of us in there.

Now his office has been merged with the next room over, and is the lobby for the Mount Linhua Tea Orchard, a company developed by someone from Zhejiang province.

I once asked the manager, "Where exactly is this Mount Linhua?"

He had probably talked to many visitors before me, and he waved his hand toward the window, at a local hilltop in Lijiacun. "Right here." I laughed to myself.

Mount Linhua is the tallest mountain in Yongfeng Prefecture, at the intersection of the Yongfeng, Ningdu, and Le'an prefectures. It's 54 kilometers from Lugang Township, and has no relationship to Lugang. Its peak is 1454 meters above sea level, allegedly the ideal altitude for growing tea. But of the 2000 hectares of Mount Linhua Tea Orchard, not a single one is above 200 meters in altitude.

Ma Liping likes drinking tea, and she says that their white tea is actually pretty good.

[davidmann95]

Age old comic questions to ask: in the old debate regarding "which side of Superman is the real person whole other one is the fake identity", I consider Clark Kent the real person and Kal El/Superman his mask. What's your opinion?

In spite of being such a profoundly significant aspect of him - arguably THE significant aspect of him - I actually have two pretty irreconcilable answers to this one. In part it’s a matter of a multitude of fundamentally incompatible takes on him being presented over the years, and to narrow it down to a single vision in terms of legitimacy is impossible after 1940 or so. But if we’re being really honest, it also has to do with my mood at a given time, and my frustration with how he as a character is often treated.

The first answer, what I’d call the proper answer for a modern mainline take on him, is both of them are real. Or, depending on your standards, neither of them. He doesn’t just turn off who he is, or spend half his life pretending. When he’s slouching in a bad suit and pretending to be near-sighted he can still count and mentally sort by size every dust mite in his field of vision in a picosecond, he’s still listening into police band frequencies, he’s still fighting for truth and justice. He’s still being Superman. And when he’s wearing a leotard and holding up collapsing bridges, he’s thinking about hitting deadline and feeling bad about bumping into that one guy from accounting and remembering how to make the recipe he tried on a recent time-travel trip that he’s sure Lois would like. He’s still being Clark. And at the same time he can’t be angry or bold as Clark, or scared or awkward as Superman, same as you might have Work You and With Your Friends You and With Your Family You, and they’re all real but not whole. The ‘truest’ guy such as he is would probably think of himself as Clark, but that’s the guy who knows how to drive a tractor and has been tinkering with a one-man Multiversal transportation unit in the Fortress and is wondering if he’ll ever write another novel, not exactly fitting with either of the above. And you could count on your fingers all the people in the universe who interact with that side of him on anything like a regular basis. Ultimately, they’re both meaningful and valid expressions of who he is, Clark the part of him that feels awkward and alien but determined to do the right thing in spite of the limits even he possesses, and Superman the very nice godling raised by the Kents to help people because he can.

…but there’s another answer too. If you’re enforcing a more rigidly-defined take on the identity binary, if you’re focusing on one side as being a ‘truer’ expression of himself even if neither encompass all of it, if you’re picking between the Silver Age Superman or the Byrne Superman as a more valid expression since they both decide on one, or if I’m just particularly frustrated with DC’s treatment of him on a given day and feel they need to flip the script - if one way or another, you’re being forced to pick one. In that case, my answer is definitely, unquestionably that he has to be Superman who sometimes pretends to be Clark Kent, not the other way around.

I know that goes against 30 years of conventional wisdom - especially since Kill Bill/Quentin Tarantino’s argument to that effect left a sour taste in a lot of mouths - but like the old narrator says, he’s SUPERMAN, DISGUISED AS MILD-MANNERED REPORTER CLARK KENT. That’s how Siegel and Shuster made him, that’s how the majority of his most critically-acclaimed stories portray him, that’s how he was for 48 years until John Byrne kinda-sorta-maybe broke everything forever, and of all the things he changed for the worse, Clark as the unambiguously true character of the two might have been the most destructive. ‘Power levels’ can be adjusted, he can start fighting bigger and stranger or smaller and more intimate threats, Krypton and the presence or lack thereof of Ma & Pa Kent in the present can be retconned, but that’s a fundamental change to the innermost core foundation of who he is, and while it arguably led to the more well-rounded “they’re both real” take down the line - though I’d argue it was headed that way anyway and Byrne actually significantly delayed it - at the time, it absolutely, catastrophically cut the character out at the knees. I would sincerely say that DC accepting it as the True Canon take on the character has been one of the biggest reasons he’s struggled to regain a foothold in the public imagination.

For one thing, if Clark’s the ‘real’ guy, he’s probably not going to be that different from Superman. He has to be brave and charismatic and unwilling to let injustices go unaddressed no matter the cost, because those are all clearly fundamental aspects of who he is, and Superman has to be capable of all those things too. The problem of course being that that makes him a Superman who isn’t doing cool Superman stuff, and unless you really zero in on the office drama or reporter intrigue as equally relevant and exciting parts of the story - which most don’t - that makes a Clark who’s real ironically a distraction from the real event of him being Superman, a set of interstitial scenes to break up the robot-punching. And it takes away the drama of him having a secret identity if they’re both the same: of course he spends half of his life as the guy he truly is when he’s not being a superhero, for the same reason Peter Parker doesn’t just take an Avengers paycheck and spend all his time as Spider-Man. Him willingly spending his time acting klutzy and insecure when he’s actually Superman is a fascinating insight into his character. If nothing else, it hits on the primal motherlode of relatability that is “to be normal and accepted he has to pretend to be someone he’s not”; there’s no overstating what a long way that goes in making a borderline god someone who you can sincerely empathize with, and everyone on Earth can do that with that experience. Handsome Hero Reporter Clark Kent fighting crime on the other hand is an obvious thing that character does if he has superpowers, and nothing more. It cuts him down from having an interesting motivation for each identity to one for both, and undoes a lot of potential complexity in the process.

American Alien is the one story to come down entirely on the side of Clark Kent being the real one that I know of to really, powerfully work, and it rewrites a ton of how he functions to make that fit. In spite of some of what I said above still applying - the story is about how he becomes Clark Kent, superhero, his decision to put on the suit being an ancillary aspect of that, rather than him going down two parallel tracks that converge in interesting ways - it actually turns out well; it’s arguably the best Superman story since All-Star even if I’ve personally preferred a couple others, and in the isolated context of that story, it works incredibly well. As a Superman who’s meant above all else to address the specific themes and aspects of who he is that this story wants to go into, it goes perfectly: he’s a Clark who can still believably do Superman stuff, but because he’s really Clark that image ends up cracking, yet when the chips are down Clark is still tough enough in and of himself to get the job done. It’s absolutely a fair-game reimagining for the sake of what the creators are trying to do.

But just the same, while it fits for that one story and any possible sequels, I don’t think it fits with the broader portrayal of Superman as an icon, for a very important reason: one of the big things at the heart of his story is the idea that it’s our best selves that are our truest selves, at least in his eyes. Jor-El isn’t just the guy who failed to save Krypton, he’s the man who gave us Superman. Jimmy Olsen may be a dope who wanders into danger so often he needs a signal watch to summon the most powerful man on Earth to regularly save him, but he’s also a quick-witted crusading action reporter who’s decent enough that the best guy on Earth considers his best pal. Perry can be a dick boss, but he’s he’s a crusading journalist of integrity who wants to bring the best out of the people he works with, and because of that Clark looks up to him. Lex has done horrific damage, but Superman above all thinks of him in terms of the kernel of goodness inside him being squandered, and all the wonderful things he could do for the world. In Superman’s world it’s the best in us that’s the most essential part of who we are; he…screw it, Morrison put it better the way he always does:

“In the end, I saw Superman not as asuperhero or even a science fiction character, but as a story of Everyman.We’re all Superman in our own adventures. We have our own Fortresses ofSolitude we retreat to, with our own special collections of valued stuff, ourown super–pets, our own ‘Bottle Cities’ that we feel guilty for neglecting. Wehave our own peers and rivals and bizarre emotional or moral tangles to dealwith.

“I felt I’d really grasped theconcept when I saw him as Everyman, or rather as the dreamself of Everyman.That ‘S’ is the radiant emblem of divinity we reveal when we rip off our stuffyshirts, our social masks, our neuroses, our constructed selves, and become whowe truly are.”

The essential truth of his story is that inside every Clark Kent - the person our fears and vulnerabilities make all of us be, even him - when the time is right and you tear your shirt open there’s a Superman who will emerge as your highest, truest self to make things better. Not that behind every seemingly-magnificent Superman there’s the moments where he has to calm down and stop rocking the boat and go back to being scared, vulnerable, mild-mannered Clark Kent. You can rectify that by presenting Clark as a profoundly appealing figure in and of himself - Superman’s really just like you too! (though isn’t he just Spider-Man at that point?) - but like I said earlier, while Clark should be admirable, past a certain point that runs into some major problems of its own, and Lois is supposed to be the one to show how a normal person can be super anyway. Again, I think the best path forward is for both of them to be true. But if you’re making a decision, Clark may play his part…

[kevingbakeruk]

11 Best Coffee Cities (And Can’t-Miss Coffee Shops) In America

With coffee consumption at an all-time high in the United States, we’ve rounded up 11 of the best coffee cities in the country worth visiting.

America’s Best Coffee Cities

From the historic streets of downtown Boston to the coastal neighborhoods of Santa Cruz, we’ve highlighted 11 of the best coffee cities well-known for their caffeinated brews. Each of these places boasts gourmet coffee shops on almost every corner, making it an impossible task to mention all of them. But we’ve featured our favorite in each city so you can sip more and search less! Whether you’re looking for coffee by the cup or beans by the bag, we think you’ll like these cities a whole latte.

After you decide which destination to visit, opt for a vacation rental from FlipKey to save money during your trip (we know how quickly those specialty coffees can add up!). Enjoy the benefits of extra space and full kitchens—many rentals even have coffeemakers, so you won’t have to leave the house without a cup of coffee to start your day. From modern city apartments to spacious vacation homes, FlipKey offers a variety of rentals to fit every budget and travel style.

Austin, Texas | Caffé Medici

While you’d think that Austin’s roasting temperatures might curb visitors’ appetite for java, Austin’s coffee scene is booming. And, as new coffee shops are popping up all over town, one continues to stand out: Caffé Medici. Austin’s original specialty coffee shop, Caffé Medici has been perfecting the art of pouring a cup of joe for more than 10 years. From well-balanced, classic coffee to sweet and fruity espresso with a chocolaty finish, the menu here has something to please all palates.

See all Austin rentals on FlipKey!

Boston, Massachusetts | Barrington Coffee Roasting Company

With long, cold winters and a massive student population, Boston is a city that insists on high levels of coffee consumption. While there are plenty of places throughout the city to fuel up for the day, Barrington Coffee Roasting Company offers some of the best in Boston. It was founded in 1993 out of two friends’ mutual love for everything coffee. Today, the self-described “power-coffee duo” prepares some of the finest coffees from around the world at their Roastery in Lee, MA. The coffee is then delivered fresh to customers and served at their two cafes in downtown Boston.

See all Boston rentals on FlipKey!

Minneapolis, Minnesota | Spyhouse Coffee

Known for a different kind of brew, too, Minneapolis is happy to share its local coffees all across the country. Case in point: Spyhouse Coffee Roasting Co., which supplies its Orion blend to Caffé Medici on our list. With four cafes throughout Minneapolis, Spyhouse Coffee is a hub for students, professionals, and people of all walks of life. This independent coffeehouse serves an exceptional cup of coffee while educating customers about the sourcing, roasting, and brewing processes, from origin to consumption. Looking for something unique? Try the Spygirl, a latte with lavender and honey.

See all Minneapolis rentals on FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | Joe Coffee

Philadelphia gets coffee fanatics’ stamp of approval—even Ben Franklin’s, a known coffee enthusiast and one of the city’s founding fathers. For some of the city’s finest brews, check out Joe Coffee, a family-owned shop with locations in Philadelphia and New York. The shop has both single-origin and blended offerings on the menu, which they roast in-house. Whether you take your cup on the go or lounge at the cafe, a flawless brew from Joe Coffee will perk you right up.

See all Philadelphia rentals on FlipKey!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania | Commonplace Coffee Roasters

Looking to try the local java in Pittsburgh? Then head to Commonplace Coffee Roasters in Pittsburgh. Since its founding in 2003, multiple locations have opened throughout Steel City, all of which offer a “hug in a mug” with their flavorful brews. Get a boost of energy from a cappuccino or indulge your sweet tooth with a chocolaty mocha. You can’t go wrong, no matter what you order!

See all Pittsburgh rentals on FlipKey!

Portland, Maine | Coffee By Design

A foodie city in its own right, Portland is also a hub for coffee drinkers with Coffee By Design adding buzz to this coastal destination’s downtown. This combined micro-roastery and coffee bar brews a selection of coffees from exotic grinds, single-origin coffees, and rich roasts. With the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting in the air, you won’t be able to walk by without stopping in for some liquid joy in a cup.

See all Portland rentals on FlipKey!

Providence, Rhode Island | Bolt Coffee Company

With sweet “coffee milk” the state drink of Rhode Island, it’s no surprise that Providence makes the cut as one of the best coffee cities in the U.S. Get a quality cup of coffee—hot or iced—at Bolt Coffee Company in the heart of Providence’s historic district. This local purveyor of artisanal coffee expertly pours a precise and intense cup of coffee with each order. From unique carbonated coffees to double shots of espresso, the baristas here take great pride in their product and service, and it shows!

See all Providence rentals on FlipKey!

Santa Cruz, California | Verve Coffee Roasters

Santa Cruz made our list of the best coffee cities in America because of one-of-a-kind roasters like Verve. Whether you’re starting your day, searching for an afternoon pick-me-up, or need a caffeine fix before tackling the surf, this hot spot has something for everyone. While the shop’s roots remain in Santa Cruz, Verve can be found in cities across the world from Los Angeles to Tokyo. Can’t make it to one of those cities, but want to wake up to Verve coffee aromas every morning? Subscribe and have freshly roasted coffee delivered to your door!

See all Santa Cruz rentals on FlipKey!

Seattle, Washington | Convoy Coffee

What’s a list of the best coffee cities in America without Seattle? Home of the original Starbucks, there are also a multitude of lesser-known local coffee shops throughout the city. One such favorite is Convoy Coffee. For the perfect start to your morning, stop in for an espresso and a Salmonberry Goods pastry. Heading to Seattle for a weekend getaway? You won’t want to miss the weekend Ballard and University District Farmers Markets, where Convoy Coffee sets up a shop with bicycle carts. With its ever-growing rotation of single origin coffees, we recommend visiting often to try them all!

See all Seattle rentals on FlipKey!

Topeka, Kansas | PT’s Coffee Roasting Co.

Home of PT’s Coffee Roasting Co.—the standard-bearer for small-batch specialty coffee—Topeka holds its own among the best coffee cities in the country. This local coffee shop’s mission is simple: roast and brew an amazing cup of coffee from the freshest of ingredients. It specializes in serving Direct Trade coffee and espresso, but its diverse menu features options that will satisfy all tastes. From an afternoon meeting over lattes to an evening study break for coffee with Baileys, PT’s Coffee Roasting Co. is a must-visit in Topeka.

See all Topeka rentals on FlipKey!

Washington, DC | Peregrine Espresso

Washington, DC’s coffee culture continues to expand year after year. The city has more than 1,000 coffee shops and cafes—meaning a jolt of caffeine is never out of reach. One such spot with rave reviews is Peregrine Espresso, a neighborhood cafe that prides itself on offering quality coffee with friendly service. Whether you’re in the mood for a sweet mocha with a dollop of whipped cream or a bold, flash-brewed iced coffee, you can bet Peregrine Espresso has it on the menu. Want to learn about what’s in your cup? The owners—Ryan and Jill Jensen—also love sharing their coffee knowledge with customers through monthly classes about coffee brewing and espresso.

See all Washington, DC rentals on FlipKey!

11 Best Coffee Cities In The U.S. For A Vacation

Austin, Texas

Boston, Massachusetts

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Portland, Maine

Providence, Rhode Island

Santa Cruz, California

Seattle, Washington

Topeka, Kansas

Washington, DC

The post 11 Best Coffee Cities (And Can’t-Miss Coffee Shops) In America appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://www.flipkey.com/blog/2017/09/07/best-coffee-cities-america/

[janerchambers88]

11 Best Coffee Cities (And Can’t-Miss Coffee Shops) In America

With coffee consumption at an all-time high in the United States, we’ve rounded up 11 of the best coffee cities in the country worth visiting.

America’s Best Coffee Cities

From the historic streets of downtown Boston to the coastal neighborhoods of Santa Cruz, we’ve highlighted 11 of the best coffee cities well-known for their caffeinated brews. Each of these places boasts gourmet coffee shops on almost every corner, making it an impossible task to mention all of them. But we’ve featured our favorite in each city so you can sip more and search less! Whether you’re looking for coffee by the cup or beans by the bag, we think you’ll like these cities a whole latte.

After you decide which destination to visit, opt for a vacation rental from FlipKey to save money during your trip (we know how quickly those specialty coffees can add up!). Enjoy the benefits of extra space and full kitchens—many rentals even have coffeemakers, so you won’t have to leave the house without a cup of coffee to start your day. From modern city apartments to spacious vacation homes, FlipKey offers a variety of rentals to fit every budget and travel style.

Austin, Texas | Caffé Medici

While you’d think that Austin’s roasting temperatures might curb visitors’ appetite for java, Austin’s coffee scene is booming. And, as new coffee shops are popping up all over town, one continues to stand out: Caffé Medici. Austin’s original specialty coffee shop, Caffé Medici has been perfecting the art of pouring a cup of joe for more than 10 years. From well-balanced, classic coffee to sweet and fruity espresso with a chocolaty finish, the menu here has something to please all palates.

See all Austin rentals on FlipKey!

Boston, Massachusetts | Barrington Coffee Roasting Company

With long, cold winters and a massive student population, Boston is a city that insists on high levels of coffee consumption. While there are plenty of places throughout the city to fuel up for the day, Barrington Coffee Roasting Company offers some of the best in Boston. It was founded in 1993 out of two friends’ mutual love for everything coffee. Today, the self-described “power-coffee duo” prepares some of the finest coffees from around the world at their Roastery in Lee, MA. The coffee is then delivered fresh to customers and served at their two cafes in downtown Boston.

See all Boston rentals on FlipKey!

Minneapolis, Minnesota | Spyhouse Coffee

Known for a different kind of brew, too, Minneapolis is happy to share its local coffees all across the country. Case in point: Spyhouse Coffee Roasting Co., which supplies its Orion blend to Caffé Medici on our list. With four cafes throughout Minneapolis, Spyhouse Coffee is a hub for students, professionals, and people of all walks of life. This independent coffeehouse serves an exceptional cup of coffee while educating customers about the sourcing, roasting, and brewing processes, from origin to consumption. Looking for something unique? Try the Spygirl, a latte with lavender and honey.

See all Minneapolis rentals on FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | Joe Coffee

Philadelphia gets coffee fanatics’ stamp of approval—even Ben Franklin’s, a known coffee enthusiast and one of the city’s founding fathers. For some of the city’s finest brews, check out Joe Coffee, a family-owned shop with locations in Philadelphia and New York. The shop has both single-origin and blended offerings on the menu, which they roast in-house. Whether you take your cup on the go or lounge at the cafe, a flawless brew from Joe Coffee will perk you right up.

See all Philadelphia rentals on FlipKey!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania | Commonplace Coffee Roasters

Looking to try the local java in Pittsburgh? Then head to Commonplace Coffee Roasters in Pittsburgh. Since its founding in 2003, multiple locations have opened throughout Steel City, all of which offer a “hug in a mug” with their flavorful brews. Get a boost of energy from a cappuccino or indulge your sweet tooth with a chocolaty mocha. You can’t go wrong, no matter what you order!

See all Pittsburgh rentals on FlipKey!

Portland, Maine | Coffee By Design

A foodie city in its own right, Portland is also a hub for coffee drinkers with Coffee By Design adding buzz to this coastal destination’s downtown. This combined micro-roastery and coffee bar brews a selection of coffees from exotic grinds, single-origin coffees, and rich roasts. With the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting in the air, you won’t be able to walk by without stopping in for some liquid joy in a cup.

See all Portland rentals on FlipKey!

Providence, Rhode Island | Bolt Coffee Company

With sweet “coffee milk” the state drink of Rhode Island, it’s no surprise that Providence makes the cut as one of the best coffee cities in the U.S. Get a quality cup of coffee—hot or iced—at Bolt Coffee Company in the heart of Providence’s historic district. This local purveyor of artisanal coffee expertly pours a precise and intense cup of coffee with each order. From unique carbonated coffees to double shots of espresso, the baristas here take great pride in their product and service, and it shows!

See all Providence rentals on FlipKey!

Santa Cruz, California | Verve Coffee Roasters

Santa Cruz made our list of the best coffee cities in America because of one-of-a-kind roasters like Verve. Whether you’re starting your day, searching for an afternoon pick-me-up, or need a caffeine fix before tackling the surf, this hot spot has something for everyone. While the shop’s roots remain in Santa Cruz, Verve can be found in cities across the world from Los Angeles to Tokyo. Can’t make it to one of those cities, but want to wake up to Verve coffee aromas every morning? Subscribe and have freshly roasted coffee delivered to your door!

See all Santa Cruz rentals on FlipKey!

Seattle, Washington | Convoy Coffee

What’s a list of the best coffee cities in America without Seattle? Home of the original Starbucks, there are also a multitude of lesser-known local coffee shops throughout the city. One such favorite is Convoy Coffee. For the perfect start to your morning, stop in for an espresso and a Salmonberry Goods pastry. Heading to Seattle for a weekend getaway? You won’t want to miss the weekend Ballard and University District Farmers Markets, where Convoy Coffee sets up a shop with bicycle carts. With its ever-growing rotation of single origin coffees, we recommend visiting often to try them all!

See all Seattle rentals on FlipKey!

Topeka, Kansas | PT’s Coffee Roasting Co.

Home of PT’s Coffee Roasting Co.—the standard-bearer for small-batch specialty coffee—Topeka holds its own among the best coffee cities in the country. This local coffee shop’s mission is simple: roast and brew an amazing cup of coffee from the freshest of ingredients. It specializes in serving Direct Trade coffee and espresso, but its diverse menu features options that will satisfy all tastes. From an afternoon meeting over lattes to an evening study break for coffee with Baileys, PT’s Coffee Roasting Co. is a must-visit in Topeka.

See all Topeka rentals on FlipKey!

Washington, DC | Peregrine Espresso

Washington, DC’s coffee culture continues to expand year after year. The city has more than 1,000 coffee shops and cafes—meaning a jolt of caffeine is never out of reach. One such spot with rave reviews is Peregrine Espresso, a neighborhood cafe that prides itself on offering quality coffee with friendly service. Whether you’re in the mood for a sweet mocha with a dollop of whipped cream or a bold, flash-brewed iced coffee, you can bet Peregrine Espresso has it on the menu. Want to learn about what’s in your cup? The owners—Ryan and Jill Jensen—also love sharing their coffee knowledge with customers through monthly classes about coffee brewing and espresso.

See all Washington, DC rentals on FlipKey!

11 Best Coffee Cities In The U.S. For A Vacation

Austin, Texas

Boston, Massachusetts

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Portland, Maine

Providence, Rhode Island

Santa Cruz, California

Seattle, Washington

Topeka, Kansas

Washington, DC

The post 11 Best Coffee Cities (And Can’t-Miss Coffee Shops) In America appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

[mrrolandtfranco]

11 Best Coffee Cities (And Can’t-Miss Coffee Shops) In America

With coffee consumption at an all-time high in the United States, we’ve rounded up 11 of the best coffee cities in the country worth visiting.

America’s Best Coffee Cities

From the historic streets of downtown Boston to the coastal neighborhoods of Santa Cruz, we’ve highlighted 11 of the best coffee cities well-known for their caffeinated brews. Each of these places boasts gourmet coffee shops on almost every corner, making it an impossible task to mention all of them. But we’ve featured our favorite in each city so you can sip more and search less! Whether you’re looking for coffee by the cup or beans by the bag, we think you’ll like these cities a whole latte.

After you decide which destination to visit, opt for a vacation rental from FlipKey to save money during your trip (we know how quickly those specialty coffees can add up!). Enjoy the benefits of extra space and full kitchens—many rentals even have coffeemakers, so you won’t have to leave the house without a cup of coffee to start your day. From modern city apartments to spacious vacation homes, FlipKey offers a variety of rentals to fit every budget and travel style.

Austin, Texas | Caffé Medici

While you’d think that Austin’s roasting temperatures might curb visitors’ appetite for java, Austin’s coffee scene is booming. And, as new coffee shops are popping up all over town, one continues to stand out: Caffé Medici. Austin’s original specialty coffee shop, Caffé Medici has been perfecting the art of pouring a cup of joe for more than 10 years. From well-balanced, classic coffee to sweet and fruity espresso with a chocolaty finish, the menu here has something to please all palates.

See all Austin rentals on FlipKey!

Boston, Massachusetts | Barrington Coffee Roasting Company

With long, cold winters and a massive student population, Boston is a city that insists on high levels of coffee consumption. While there are plenty of places throughout the city to fuel up for the day, Barrington Coffee Roasting Company offers some of the best in Boston. It was founded in 1993 out of two friends’ mutual love for everything coffee. Today, the self-described “power-coffee duo” prepares some of the finest coffees from around the world at their Roastery in Lee, MA. The coffee is then delivered fresh to customers and served at their two cafes in downtown Boston.

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Minneapolis, Minnesota | Spyhouse Coffee

Known for a different kind of brew, too, Minneapolis is happy to share its local coffees all across the country. Case in point: Spyhouse Coffee Roasting Co., which supplies its Orion blend to Caffé Medici on our list. With four cafes throughout Minneapolis, Spyhouse Coffee is a hub for students, professionals, and people of all walks of life. This independent coffeehouse serves an exceptional cup of coffee while educating customers about the sourcing, roasting, and brewing processes, from origin to consumption. Looking for something unique? Try the Spygirl, a latte with lavender and honey.

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Philadelphia, Pennsylvania | Joe Coffee

Philadelphia gets coffee fanatics’ stamp of approval—even Ben Franklin’s, a known coffee enthusiast and one of the city’s founding fathers. For some of the city’s finest brews, check out Joe Coffee, a family-owned shop with locations in Philadelphia and New York. The shop has both single-origin and blended offerings on the menu, which they roast in-house. Whether you take your cup on the go or lounge at the cafe, a flawless brew from Joe Coffee will perk you right up.

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Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania | Commonplace Coffee Roasters

Looking to try the local java in Pittsburgh? Then head to Commonplace Coffee Roasters in Pittsburgh. Since its founding in 2003, multiple locations have opened throughout Steel City, all of which offer a “hug in a mug” with their flavorful brews. Get a boost of energy from a cappuccino or indulge your sweet tooth with a chocolaty mocha. You can’t go wrong, no matter what you order!

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Portland, Maine | Coffee By Design

A foodie city in its own right, Portland is also a hub for coffee drinkers with Coffee By Design adding buzz to this coastal destination’s downtown. This combined micro-roastery and coffee bar brews a selection of coffees from exotic grinds, single-origin coffees, and rich roasts. With the smell of freshly brewed coffee wafting in the air, you won’t be able to walk by without stopping in for some liquid joy in a cup.

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Providence, Rhode Island | Bolt Coffee Company

With sweet “coffee milk” the state drink of Rhode Island, it’s no surprise that Providence makes the cut as one of the best coffee cities in the U.S. Get a quality cup of coffee—hot or iced—at Bolt Coffee Company in the heart of Providence’s historic district. This local purveyor of artisanal coffee expertly pours a precise and intense cup of coffee with each order. From unique carbonated coffees to double shots of espresso, the baristas here take great pride in their product and service, and it shows!

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Santa Cruz, California | Verve Coffee Roasters

Santa Cruz made our list of the best coffee cities in America because of one-of-a-kind roasters like Verve. Whether you’re starting your day, searching for an afternoon pick-me-up, or need a caffeine fix before tackling the surf, this hot spot has something for everyone. While the shop’s roots remain in Santa Cruz, Verve can be found in cities across the world from Los Angeles to Tokyo. Can’t make it to one of those cities, but want to wake up to Verve coffee aromas every morning? Subscribe and have freshly roasted coffee delivered to your door!

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Seattle, Washington | Convoy Coffee

What’s a list of the best coffee cities in America without Seattle? Home of the original Starbucks, there are also a multitude of lesser-known local coffee shops throughout the city. One such favorite is Convoy Coffee. For the perfect start to your morning, stop in for an espresso and a Salmonberry Goods pastry. Heading to Seattle for a weekend getaway? You won’t want to miss the weekend Ballard and University District Farmers Markets, where Convoy Coffee sets up a shop with bicycle carts. With its ever-growing rotation of single origin coffees, we recommend visiting often to try them all!

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Topeka, Kansas | PT’s Coffee Roasting Co.

Home of PT’s Coffee Roasting Co.—the standard-bearer for small-batch specialty coffee—Topeka holds its own among the best coffee cities in the country. This local coffee shop’s mission is simple: roast and brew an amazing cup of coffee from the freshest of ingredients. It specializes in serving Direct Trade coffee and espresso, but its diverse menu features options that will satisfy all tastes. From an afternoon meeting over lattes to an evening study break for coffee with Baileys, PT’s Coffee Roasting Co. is a must-visit in Topeka.

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Washington, DC | Peregrine Espresso

Washington, DC’s coffee culture continues to expand year after year. The city has more than 1,000 coffee shops and cafes—meaning a jolt of caffeine is never out of reach. One such spot with rave reviews is Peregrine Espresso, a neighborhood cafe that prides itself on offering quality coffee with friendly service. Whether you’re in the mood for a sweet mocha with a dollop of whipped cream or a bold, flash-brewed iced coffee, you can bet Peregrine Espresso has it on the menu. Want to learn about what’s in your cup? The owners—Ryan and Jill Jensen—also love sharing their coffee knowledge with customers through monthly classes about coffee brewing and espresso.

See all Washington, DC rentals on FlipKey!

11 Best Coffee Cities In The U.S. For A Vacation

Austin, Texas

Boston, Massachusetts

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Portland, Maine

Providence, Rhode Island

Santa Cruz, California

Seattle, Washington

Topeka, Kansas

Washington, DC

The post 11 Best Coffee Cities (And Can’t-Miss Coffee Shops) In America appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

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[tessatechaitea]

The Flash #21

Hey! This cover is a spoiler for the end of part one in Batman #21! I'm glad I don't look too closely at the covers when I buy my comics.

Like last issue, this issue begins in a place where people are locked up against their will. Last issue was Arkham and this one is an old folks home. I almost put a possessive apostrophe on "old folks" before realizing they don't own shit about the place and it's just a descriptor of the misleading noun "home." Last issue, Saturn Girl was upset and had to be wrestled to the ground and punched repeatedly and probably Tazed for being disruptive. This time, it's Old Man Thunder screaming from the rooftops at the genie who abandoned him. I guess the Legion of Super-Heroes and genies were edited out of the universe when the Watchmen took control. Saturn Girl probably survived by hiding in a Time Bubble. While hiding, she must have kicked the controls which sent her back to Gotham in the year 2017. And all time travelers to Gotham eventually wind up in Arkham because time travel is loony tunes!

Oh! The Watchmen didn't just hate genies. They hated stories that took place in DC's past and future! That's why they tried editing out time travel. Little did they know, Tom DeFalco and Scott Lobdell would be too stupid to follow the no time travel rule. I believe their defense was that the time travelers from the future were from an alternate timeline that wasn't Flashpoint and could therefore time travel! Jerks.

Back at the Batcave, The Flash has strung crime scene tape all over everything. Why? Who the fuck is going to stumble into the Batcave and destroy evidence? Alfred? Or maybe Alfred? Possibly even Alfred? Since it's only Alfred, maybe tell him to stay the fuck out for a bit. I suppose Damian might also blunder in but when has anything ever stopped Damian before? He's not going to respect the boundary of the yellow police tape! The Flash spends pages and pages Narration Boxing. This issue is simply reminding me why I dropped it in the first place! Williamson has no trust in the medium. He needs to pad the writing to make sure everybody completely understands that The Flash is a forensic detective and that he worked hard to become one and that his super powers don't help him with that and the he got his powers in a lab and that his mother was killed by Thawne and that his first crime scene was his mother's death and that every detail of a crime scene can be worked out by just looking at it and how Thawne came from the future and how Thawne was his nemesis for some reason and...and...and...well, lots of other stuff as well. Maybe that's why Howard Porter drew police tape all over the Batcave. Because he had nothing else that really needed to be drawn since the Narration Boxes did all the heavy lifting. Eventually, The Flash stops explaining things to the reader and engages in conversation with Bruce.

How could you tell it was with a capital G?! Even if you could see his speech bubbles, all DC Comics' letters are capitals!

Obviously it would be God with a capital G. Otherwise Thawne would have said, "I saw a god!" But he said, "I saw God." So the only reason Bruce needs to explain the whole capital G thing is if he believes Barry Allen is a fucking dope. Oh, yeah. That totally explains it. Batman and Flash discuss the crime scene and come to only one conclusion: the button is now missing. World's Greatest Detective and Master Forensic Scientist my ass! Oh yeah! I haven't said it yet even though it was obvious from Batman #21: God is Doctor Manhattan. Although that would mean Eobard Thawne is way more mature than I am because my last words would have been "I saw God's penis!" The Flash leaves Batman in bed to go investigate on his own because he's had a really stupid idea!

Let's fuck with time again! Because that never hurts more than it helps! Ever!

The Cosmic Treadmill was being stored in a room on the Watchtower called the Hall of Lost and Found. It's where everything that was destroyed due to the New 52 has now reappeared into continuity since Rebirth made it all viable again. But it all needs to wait to be remembered and reintroduced at some point. Batman arrives before Barry can do anything stupid. But he doesn't arrive to stop Barry! He arrives to help him fuck up continuity even more! What a jerk! Although I suppose if Rebirth is all about returning all stories to continuity, characters should be free to fuck with time to their heart's content now! Go back in time and impregnate Ma Kent, Bruce! Who cares?! It'll all just work itself out somehow. Plus how cool would it be if Superman suddenly had to constantly deal with his slacker Bat-Brother always crashing at the Fortress of Solitude and getting into tons of mischief?

Did Greg Rucka approve this statue?!

That Frank Cho statue has far less nipples and buttholes than I would expect. Batman hops on the treadmill with The Flash and manages to time travel by holding on with a bat-grapple. I was really hoping he would have to ride on Barry's back. While time traveling, Batman and Flash see an old version of the formation of the Justice League where they're super fucking nerdy. "Let us form a league to fight evil!" "Right, good buddy! Let evil shake in their boots!" "Check out Wonder Woman's shorts! So modest!" "And our bulges are hardly manly at all!" They also witness the moment Barry disintegrated in Crisis and Barry makes sure to point out that what they're witnessing isn't from an alternate universe at all. These stories — all of them! — are from their universe! But how can that be?! They're all so contradictory! It's going to do in the heads of all the continuity loving fangenders! Eventually the Cosmic Treadmill crashes and burns. The Flash and Batman find themselves in the Batcave of Thomas Wayne of Flashpoint! OH NO! They've gone and fucked it up all over again! I can't wait for The New New 52 beginning next fall! The Ranking! No change! I almost gave this a positive review because I love Howard Porter's art and because I love when The Flash fucks up continuity (especially when he does it with Batman! Has that ever happened before? So good!). But then I remembered how much Narration Boxing The Flash did and my boner dried up.