#potato days is my phrase

[uselessnocturnal]

small potatoes

(n.) something insignificant or unimportant

tw: depression

Today, Dick decides as he stares up at the ceiling, today will be a potato day. It’s easy for him to reach out for his phone and send a dispassionate but apologetic message to the gymnastics school calling in sick. His head is pounding behind his eyes – not painful per say but very much making its presence known. The room is dark apart from the slivers of light that sneak in through the blinds. He lets out a small groan and pulls the duvet over himself a little tighter, closing his eyes and turning on his side.

The tiredness runs bone-deep, his head hurts and he feels like his bed is going to swallow him whole. He’s meant to be going to the manor that evening for the weekend but the very thought of having to move even an inch from the bed, of having to make conversation with his family only makes his head hurt more. Just another hour, he tells himself. Then I’ll get up.

Potato days is a self-coined term Dick had come up with for the days where he simply couldn’t bring himself to do anything but stay in bed and let sleep reclaim him or simply stare into space. They’re the days where his body and mind decide they need to have a reset. The days where everything has caught up and he can’t handle it right that  moment. He tries to push it to days he won’t be missed or when he knows he might be able to skip out on plans. But those days are rare and far between and sometimes, these moments sneak up on him.

Dick’s not even entirely sure what triggered it this time. There have been no huge cases, his day and night job were going well, nothing huge in Gotham had gone down, his siblings were all alive and getting along as well as they would. The mental checklist filters through his head in a daze and he huffs out a breath. He’s still groggy, the grasp of sleep still clinging to his exhausted mind and he can’t bring himself to have another thought.  Just another hour of sleep, he repeats, then I’ll be fine.

He wakes up much too warm, eyes feeling like they were being dragged down by weights and the headache even more present than before. Prying his eyes open a fraction, he blindly searches for his phone.

1.24pm

He’d slept significantly longer than he had wanted to and the thought sends a shooting panic through his chest that goes just as quickly as it comes. Dick does the maths in his head. In total he’s had almost eleven hours of sleep now. Why is he still so exhausted? Will more sleep help?

No. No, he has to get up now or he won’t leave his bed. Shoving the covers to the side feels like he’s just run a marathon. He lies on his back for a moment with his eyes half-open staring at a mark on the ceiling he hadn’t noticed before. Squeezes his eyes shut again and takes a breath. He can do this.

I can’t do this.

And then he starts to cry.

All at once the bed feels too big, his apartment too small, his life so empty, his family too far away. and fuck, he’s lonely and tired and the work never ends and he just- he just wants a hug.

God, he just wants someone to hold him together as he falls apart.

[sketchy-tour]

ALRIGHTY! Time to formally reintroduce yall to my silly idiot OC Dandy!

and by that I mean, I redid their ref art, tweaked their bio, and finally made a ref for their stupid pajamas! Wanted to do other fits for them but aa another time. Brain is mashed potatoes.

Anyway, Dandy is my silly WH oc who's main theme is self care/self love messages shown through the imagery of gardening! Meant to be a sort of "garden of the self" sort of deal. They go by ANY PRONOUNS! She/her or He/Him, or They/Them are all correct and okay to use when talking about them! (I just tend to default to they/them) Putting their full bio under the break!!! So you can read it all there!

"Resident gardener of Welcome Home, Dandy Leon is a curious but careful presence among the others in the neighborhood. They enjoy the quiet and spending their time tending to their various flowers. While a little shy around their fellow neighbors, they open up quickly when asked about their garden. Despite their more introverted disposition, they're always determined to make every day just dandy!"

It’s presumed that Dandy makes appearances only in the later episodes of the show’s run. But in old scripts found with them, it's shown that they moved to Home specifically because they were interested in the local plant life there. The episode that featured their move in seemed to focus on them slowly warming up to the others in the neighborhood, as their shy nature made it difficult for them to properly meet everyone. When asked as to where they lived before moving to Home, Dandy mentions living in a farm town far away, simply deeming it "far more south from here!" A lot of their dialogue also mentions their father, though he's never named but instead mentioned passively as Dandy would often use phrases like "Well it's like my pop always said-" when speaking to the other puppets.

During their short time on the show, Dandy's segments seemed focused on care for their garden, the language hinting that the flowers were more a metaphor for taking care of oneself and well being. Other characters can be found pointing out how much better Dandy’s garden looks when they’re feeling happy, but also comment how wilted it becomes when they’re shown to be a bit more downtrodden. They feel strongly about how important it is to be kind to yourself, even if it’s a skill they’re shown to still be working on themselves. Their confidence is something they also struggle with, seemingly a character meant for shyer audience members to attach to and grow alongside with. Dandy is often depicted in illustrations with Frank, getting along quite well in the show, often joining him and Julie on small escapades. Before the show's end however, most of Dandy's screen time is with Wally as he tries to get Dandy out of their shell more to spend time around others.

Interestingly, what pronouns were used for them seemed to change between the show's episodes and illustrated materials. While neighbors would refer to them as 'he' during the show, most art pieces seemed to refer to Dandy as a 'she'. Whether this was simply a miscommunication between teams or a printing error is unknown.

[rileyslibrary]

“You need to.”

“Need is a strong word, soldier; I need water, food, and sleep.” He states and points at the bunny costume you’re holding. “Now, this, I don’t need to do.”

“Come on, Lt., do it for the kids!” You beg.

He looks out the window at the funfair outside. Christmas, Easter, and Halloween festivities are held yearly at the local park, and the military base is expected to contribute somehow. Things like cooking and baking for example, or helping with the construction of the rides, and assisting with the general operations, were a few of the tasks you had to undertake. Apart from the famous egg hunt, the community has organized a variety of other activities this year, including egg and spoon races, potato sack races, and pony rides.

“Why don’t you put it on then if you care so much about the kids?”

“I’m on face-painting duty.”

“Why can’t I do the face-painting?” He asks, pointing at his black-painted, camouflaged eyes.

“We talked about this, Lt.,” you say and extend the costume to him, “you were the chosen one.”

The phrase ‘the chosen one’ was an exaggerated one but, in some ways, accurate. A few days before such events, the base held a raffle to determine who would perform as Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. This year’s ‘lucky’ winner happened to be Ghost. You never did that for Halloween though, since there wasn’t an official ‘mascot’ apart from the pumpkins, and according to the Captain, “you were all monsters anyway.”

“I bet Soap planned all this,” he snaps, pointing to the fair outside, “I bet he rigged the raffle and wrote my name on every single ticket: Riley, Riley, Riley, Ri-”

He stops upon hearing your long sigh. “Soap would never do something like that,” you shake your head.

“Oh, yeah?” he asks, peering out the window again. “Where is he anyway?”

“He’s helping the kids at the shooting gallery,” you admit and quickly regret it.

“I’d be great at teaching kids how to aim!” he yells, raising both hands, “why does he get to do that?”

“You’d be the star of the show, Ghost!” you encourage him as you wiggle the suit. “The Easter Bunny!”

“I don’t want to be a star, soldier,” he snaps, shooing the costume away, “plus, I hate dressing up.”

“Um, Lt., sir?”

“Hm?”

“You’re wearing a mask with a skull on.” You murmur, raising your brows.

“That’s for a different reason, and you know it.” He stiffens and narrows his eyes at you.

You must come up with a solution quickly. There’s no way to persuade an grown ass man, especially a frightening one like Ghost, to dress up in a fluffy costume and cosplay as an imaginary character if he doesn’t want to.

“You can’t go outside with that cover of yours, especially on Easter,” you explain. “Now, this, on the other hand, comes with a full mask on...” You say and lift the bunny costume by the shoulders.

He groans and rolls his eyes. That’s his way of contemplating the idea.

You shrug and look at the costume. “I’d consider it a deal, to be honest.”

He looks at the costume, then back at you, takes the costume from your hands without saying a word, and goes to the toilet to get changed.

A short while later, he returns, this time in the form of a 6.5-foot-tall, fluffy, white bunny with pink ears. His hands—or rather, his paws—are hidden in the costume’s pockets, and he diverts his masked face away from you.

You swallow your laughter and nod vigorously in response.

“So, what do I do now?” he asks defensively. 

“Just act like the Easter Bunny.”

His ears and whiskers wiggle as he turns to face you. “How does the Easter Bunny act, soldier?”

That’s an excellent question. See, the Easter Bunny is cheerful and quite energetic. Ghost, on the other hand... well, let’s just say he’s doing a pretty good job on Halloween at the House of Horrors.

“J-just wave at the kids, Lt.,”  you shrug and hand him a basket full of Cadbury creme eggs, “and blow the occasional kiss.”

“Like this?” he asks naively and pats the mask’s buck teeth with his paw.

“Yes sir,” you reply, looking down at the floor to hide your smile, “exactly like this.”

[shortstrawberry]

Was having midnight craving of Donna Beneviento so here's some possessive professor Donna.

Professor Donna sees you being too chatty with a fellow classmate in her class. She's not happy.

Today is a really bad day to have a cold.

You let out another loud sneeze in the class, whispering sorry to your poor seatmates. You just had to have a cold when you had a important test to give in your Botany paper. You look down at your answer sheet. The bubbles you had filled seemed almost blurry, your eyes were just that watery. But you're pretty sure you have done enough to at least pass this exam. Not that you need to worry about that, as you can feel your Botany Professor's worried gaze on you.

Dr. Donna Beneviento. Chef extraordinaire, maker of best hot chocolate, giver of best cuddles. Also your Botany professor. And your girlfriend. Although Donna and you prefer the term "partners" much more. The relationship is that serious afterall.

It's in fact so serious on Donna's part that you know if you decide to quit education and decide to just pursue your lifelong dream of being a potato couch, Donna will happily support it. But no, you also have the lifelong dream to open a florist shop, and so here you are: suffering in a botany test.

"Hey, I have a heatpack. You'll feel good if I put it on your forehead."

You do feel so deathly chill right now, the cough clogging up your lungs for a extra measure. So you nodded at your kind seatmate, letting them take care of you.

You thought your seatmate would just place the heatpack on your forehead and be done with it. But no, they started to pet your head as well, coaxing you to fall asleep.

"Hey, you've done enough. Take a nap. I'll keep watch if Professor Beneviento comes around."

Hearing your partner's name, you immediately realised you've done fucked up. Thing is, Donna can be... Uh...a little possessive.

You heard the sound of pencil snapping from the direction of your girlfriend.

Okay, maybe very possessive.

You looked up at your seatmate, hoping that they'd get the hint to maybe keep their hand away. But no, they made the situation worse, by starting to play around with your hair, and then giving a small forehead massage. Instead of it making you feel good, you just felt more worried.

You could hear the boots of your girlfriend approaching you two.

"I think you should focus on the exam."

Yep, that's Professor Donna's seethingly pissed voice. It's quiet like the icy tundras, but you can feel the anger simmering in it.

The hand that was on her head was immediately off, and soon replaced by the gloved one of your girlfriend.

She petted you quietly, then bent down to whisper directly in your ears.

"Do you need me to take you to the infirmary, cara mia?"

My darling. Donna uses that Italian phrase on you when she wants to stake her claim. Otherwise it's usually dolcezza on most days.

You're now on a precarious situation. If you say yes, surely other students would find it strange that their Professor is showing such favouritism towards you. On other hand, if you say no, Donna would probably get more upset. Donna does not like it when she is denied a chance to take care of you.

And you can just sense just how badly Donna wants to bring you in her arms and feed you her hot chocolate.

Still, you care about your girlfriend's professor reputation more then Donna does. So you shook your head no, quietly croaking out your excuse.

"No... Too tired."

You heard Donna exhale in even more concern. But thankfully she didn't force the issue. Instead, she went ahead and took off her black trenchcoat and draped it on top of you. She petted your head one last time, but you can sense that Donna really wanted to kiss you instead.

She did however whisper certain words in your ear.

"We'll get you home soon, cara mia. And then I'll take care of you."

As you dozed off, you decided that you're really looking forward to Donna's possessive caretaking.

Wanna see the possessive caretaking? Lemme know!

[messylustt]

an assortment of my men in self ships. updated version. some characters i have works for, some i don’t, and just simply love.

MIGUEL. miguel o’hara & holly

the lost soul down. tristes ojos. black out days.

spiderverse boss with civilian gf, enemies to lovers trope, slowburn, frowning bf with smiling gf, forehead kisses, spanish phrases whispered, she fell first but he fell harder, height difference, protective bf, “can’t take my eyes off you”, back hugs from gf, hickeys / marks, dinner dates, bad at communicating, staring into your soul with those eyes bf with not a single thought behind those eyes gf, grumpy bf with sunshine gf, back scratches, doesn’t know how to initially react when she cries, playing with his hair.

HOBIE. hobie brown & holly

government hooker. politicians in my eyes. start a riot.

resident secret spider-man (spider-punk) with classmate, friends to lovers trope, sharing earphones, teasing head pats, boob grabs, piggybacks, licking and biting, always seen together, bold bf with shy gf, taking pics and selfies together, always stealing the seat next to each other, forcing him to try certain foods she likes, relaxed bf with anxious gf, physical touch bf with physical touch gf, the ‘tall’ model couple, movie nights that always turn into more, both get lost easy, drinking together, sloppy cheek kisses, surprise hugs.

LEON. leon kennedy & holly

how you remind me. heart-shaped box. all my life.

special agent with presidents daughter, bodyguard romance trope, heroic bf with scaredy-cat gf, her learning how to shoot his gun, protective bf, blonde bf with brunette gf, hiding together, stoic bf with amused gf, falling asleep in his lap, love letters, forbidden romance, she fell first he fell harder, jealous bf, pining, dart dates, words of affirmation, hand holding, paper rings, kisses on the doorstep, respectful bf.

CARLOS. carlos oliveira & holly

give it to me. about a girl. heartbreaker.

umbrella mercenary with city civilian, friends to lovers trope, wearing his clothes, sporty bf with couch potato gf, air kisses, bicep hugs, teasing hand pecks, inside jokes, playful sparring, overly sensual cheek kisses, secret photos taken, linked pinkies, big bf with small gf, “uh huh, go for it” amused bf with determined annoyed gf, sweet tooth.

MICHAEL. michael afton & holly

alien blues. better than me. romantic homicide.

son of william afton with fazbear employee, slow burn trope, playing with his hands, jerk bf with nice gf, dead-eyed bf with doe-eyed gf, silent words but loud actions, unfazed bf with scaredy-cat gf, sideways glances, “no i don’t like you” lying michael, he fell first and harder, staring into your soul with those eyes bf with a comforting look behind those eyes gf, falling asleep on each other by accident, bully-flirting.

NICCOLO. niccolo govender & holly

absinthe. swim. stop the world i wanna get off with you.

classmate with classmate, tutor trope, misunderstandings, jealous bf, playing with her hair, friends with benefits to lovers, stolen kisses, pining, lazy bf with active gf, very protective bf, longing gazes, ass slapping, polaroids, museum dates, gradual desperate bf, bad at communicating, kisses in the car, “yeah she’s my girlfriend” soon to be bf with surprised soon to be gf, sitting next to each other in class, late night skincare.

RAFE. rafe cameron & holly

closer. lost in the fire. daddy issues.

mean boy with sweet girl, opposites attract trope, bad at feelings, overprotective bf, experienced bf with naive gf, blushing, boat dates, jealous bf, long makeout sessions, acts of service bf with physical touch gf, her forcing him to enjoy the sunset view, mending his bruises and cuts, teasing gf with hard gazed bf, him wanting her to wear his clothes, hand on her thigh while sitting, expensive dates, hickeys, comforting hugs from her, let me spoil you bf with loves being spoiled gf.

© messylustt.tumblr please don’t steal, copy or translate my work onto other platforms.

[roadkillremi]

11 out of 11

Kinktober '23

Happy Halloween

Sub!Randy X F!Dom!Reader

MasterList. Kinktober '23

Summary : Randy wants you after a few too many drinks. Characters are 18+

Warnings : MINORS DNI, Semi-Public sex, under aged drinking, language, phrase, p in V, unprotected, dry humping(?), Dom Reader, Randy looking down readers sweater. Semi proof-read.

A/N - Randy is dressed up as Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th Part 2, Reader is dressed up as Freddy Kruger from Nightmare on Elm Street.

You held Randy's hand as he knocked on Stus' door. Stu answered with a beer in his hands, the music flooded from the door. His brown hair was gelled down and he has a leather jacket clinging to his figure.

"What are you supposed to be?-" Randy blurted. Stus eyes darkened a bit, "A greaser- Tatum wanted to be a pink lady or something... Plus don't I look hot?!" He did a little spin for you two.

"Sure-" Randy answered trying to push his way inside. Stu stopped him with his hand, "What are you two?.."

"Freddy and Jason-" Randy breathed. Stu tilted his head in confusion, you grabbed Randy's shoulder pulling him back.

"I'm Freddy. He's Jason. It stared with a dumbass argument over who would win-" you explained. Stu raised an eyebrow, "Very romantic-". Randy pushed his way through, he gripped his fake pitchfork in anger.

"It's fine. He's just being an ass" you practically yelled against the crowd. Randy plopped down on the couch, "He's always an ass.". You nodded, you leaned over and fixed the collar on his blue plaid shirt.

"You look very handsome." You tried to calm him down. His blue eyes looked up at you, "Thanks.. you look very hot.". You grinned, you fiddled with your red and green sweater. It was originally Dewey's, you asked to have it and he didn't mind. You spent all day toughing up the edges. Your brown hat sat on your head perfectly. You sat on the arm of the couch, Randy snaked his arm around your hips.

"Why do we come to his parties?" You asked observing everyone dancing and drinking.

"Cause you're friends with Tatum and Syd, and I have no friends-" he answered bluntly. You elbowed his shoulder, "You have friends-". He raised his eyebrows and leaned in close to you.

"Yes, the voices in my head" his eyes were wide. You rolled your eyes and smiled, "you got me..". He grinned and gave you a quick peck.

"I'm getting a beer, you gonna sit here or join me?" You got off the arm of the couch. You turned towards him holding out your hand. He took it, "Fine.". You attempted to pull him up before he pulled you back down. You landed on his lap with his arm wrapping around you.

"I guess Jason wins" he smirked kissing you. You leaned into his kiss, "Sure, just like how you're so dominant in bed-" you teased. You got up turning towards his shocked face.

"That was a low blow." He said pointing his finger at you. You rolled your eyes, grabbing his potato sack of a mask from his overall pocket. You pulled it over his face only showing his left eye.

"Come on, Jason." You grabbed his hand once more leading him to the kitchen. He followed right behind you, "That was still a low blow-".

"Oh, please! You tell Stu all the time about how you rail me" you exaggerated.

"Yeah well it's true." He whined.

"No, Randall. I rail you." You said looking into his one visible eye. You pushed past some partying teenagers. You leaned over the kitchen island grabbing some beers laid out.

"Now let's go shit talk while getting drunk-" you lead back to the living room. Randy happily followed you back to his original spot.

It's been about two hours, Randy was absolutely shit faced. His masked lay forgotten on the floor, he took a sloppy sip of his beer. You leaned against him looking at the remaining people. Randy leaned towards you his forehead resting against your temple.

"Alright, Jason Voorhees?" You asked glancing at him.

"mhm.." his arms wrapped around your waist.

"You sure? Do you need to go home?"

"No" he breathed. He paused for a second, the heat radiated off of him.

"Just drunk. Plus I have a clear shot of your boobs-" he laughed. You scoff pushing him back, "You pervert-".

"No! You're my girlfriend so" he dragged out his so before sipping his beer. You smiled taking the bottle from him. You placed it on the coffee table next to all the other bottles.

"You know the next party is your turn to be a sober driver-" you reminded. He nodded, "Aye-Aye, Captain.". He chugged down the rest of his beer, you looked down at your half full bottle. It was your second one, you sighed leaning into Randy.

Tatum and Stu appeared around the corner laughing. Stu noticed you two and stopped, "I'm kicking everyone out. You two can stay! Imma go have sex!" He smiled walking around announcing people have to leave.

Randy grinned and leaned close to your face, "Bottoms up!". You chuckled before chugging down the rest of your beer. Randy smiled pulling you into his lap. His hands lazily held your hips, "Mm, would you be against sex right now?". You raised an eyebrow, Randy was obviously hard underneath you, you never noticed due to his baggy overalls. The denim of his bulge pushed against your shorts.

"Randy, can't you be patient?" You whispered. Your fingers slid down the side of his face. He gently bucked his hips up, you closed your eyes trying to contain yourself.

"Please?..." His bottom lip pushed out. You leaned down gently biting his bottom lip. You pulled back snagging the lip a bit. His eyes widened at you, his hand got Shakey. You smirked leaning in to kiss him again, "Remember the rules?". He nodded and continued kissing you, his hands digging into your hips.

"Repeat them to me-" you backed up far enough to stop kissing him. He whined, "I know them-".

"Repeat them-" your voice went stern. He took a breath, "Ask permission to come. Ask to touch you.". You smirked, "Good boy .". His lips parted, "But now we're gonna have to add some." You grinned. His brows knitted together, "huh?".

"We're at a party with some.. stragglers." You whispered glancing into the dining room. Some of Stu's buddies were still talking to him. You kinda felt bad for Tatum, she crossed her arms waiting for him to finish. You turned back to Randy, "You know how I tell you it's okay to moan?".

He nodded, "Today you can't. Can't let em hear us. Got that?" You whispered. He pouted, "okay.".

"If anyone comes over here. Pretend you're asleep." You added. He nodded, you leaned into him kissing him once more. He groaned sinking his hands down to your ass. You dug your hips down into his bulge well moving his hands back to your hips. He let out a sigh feeling some form of friction.

"All this for me... Such a good boy" you whispered to him. He nodded frantically, you dragged your hips up and down his erection. He bit his lip holding in his whines, "Want more." He whispered. You smirked, "I need full sentences.".

"I.. want more.. I want you on my cock.." he breathed out. You slowly unclasped his overalls, you lifted your hips causing him to let out a whine. You shot a look at him causing him to silence. You peeked over to see Stus friends gone, you hoped Stu and Tatum were upstairs now.

You sat up on your knees dragging his overalls down past his hips. You laughed softly at his Riddle Batman boxers. You placed your hips down onto his boxers. He closed his eyes tilting his head back. His Adams apple moved up and down.

"Tease-" he grumbled. You grabbed his jaw squishing his cheeks a bit.

"Excuse me?" You lifted your hips up again. He let out a soft huff, "Please fuck me.". You grinned, "much better.". You took his throbbing dick out of his boxers. The pre-come dripped out costing the tip.

"Such a pretty boy..." You cooed. He let out a quiet moan in response. You unbuttoned your shorts quickly getting up to take them off, you took your underwear off as well. You shoved them beside his thigh close to the cushion so they couldn't be seen. You straddle his hips gripping his shaft. You dragged his tip through your folds.

Randy groaned tilting his head back down. You quickly covered his mouth, "They can hear us-". Randy didn't seem to believe you but nodded. You slowly sunk down onto him, you uncovered his mouth. His lips fell open letting out a string of moans. You glared down at him, you grabbed your underwear shoving it in his mouth.

You smirked, "Now that's a pretty sight.". You continued to move your hips in small circles. Your breathing became rough as you tried not to moan. Randy's nails dug into your hips urging for you to keep going. You started raising your hips and falling back down. His eyes rolled into the back of head, you grinned and continued.

His hand tugged on your sweater as you rode him. You glanced down at him with a smile, "Wanna touch me?". He nodded, "Good boy." You lead his hand inside your sweater. He cupped your breast with his right hand, the other was still holding your hip. You reached around your back unclasping your bra with some miracle. The garment loosened in your sweater allowing Randy to move it aside and grasp onto your chest. His thumb rubbed against your perky nipple in circles.

"Mm, that's it... Next time you run your mouth to Stu. Tell him the truth, alright? That you're my little sex toy-" you exhaled sharply. Randy nodded, sweat built up on his forehead. He groaned against the cloth and bucked his hips upward repeatedly.

"Fuck!" Moans spilled out of your mouth. You bit your lip not being able to hold back.

"God, Randy!" You clenched around him. You heard a door slam causing you to pull the throw blanket over you and Randy. You laid down against his chest and pulled your underwear out of his mouth. You felt a warm ooze enter your core, you groaned softly causing Randy to smirk.

"See they're asleep!" Tatum whined. Stu crept down the stairs seeing you two on the couch.

"I swear I heard something-" he mumbled.

Tag list -@hurlonsororitygirls @sanzumylovee @katie-tibo @horneybeach1 @ithinkitszeph

[thebibliosphere]

Hello Joy! If you're up for it, I've got a question for you. I've started writing a new story that I set in a world based on 1500's Scotland and I wanted the main characters to have Scottish accents, but alas I am from the American Midwest. Do you know of any resources or any people who could help me write my dialogue more accurately?

There are some resources for Scots English (like the the DSL), but I’m going to give you the advice I wish a lot of non-Scots people would use when it comes to writing historical Scottish accents: don’t.

The Scots language is not a monolith, and accents and dialect to this day vary greatly depending on region.

Most of the time even with research, what happens is a butchery of our language which borders on parody (sometimes even amped up by publishers because they want the Outlander effect) and is neither correctly spelled nor even phonetically accurate. A better way of writing accents/dialogue (and the way I tend to do it myself even when writing this sort of thing) would be to use regional and tone indicators.

So things like “he spoke with the broad, sweeping brogue of the lower west coast” or “her manner of speaking quickened with excitement, thickening her accent.”

If you want to use some Scots words, you can do so. Just make sure you look them up in the DSL and spell them correctly instead of making up your own.

A common phrase I like to use as an example for how to inject some Scots words into the dialect without murdering it would be the often very sarcastic “oh aye, so you think so?”

It’s a phrase often used when someone is blustering or maybe being a wee bit rude. Sort of like saying “oh really?” As you invite someone to keep digging their own grave.

I’ve seen it spelled every which way from “och aye, di’ye ‘ink sew?” (Pure jibberish, don’t do that) to the slightly more legible if not entirely accurate, “oh aye, dae ye think soe?”

Another could be something like, “oh aye, he’s muckle canny” to mean “oh yes, he’s very smart.” I’ve seen all of those words misspelled at one point, the most memorable being “och aye ‘e’s mochel cannae” which is just…

Canny is smart/capable while cannae means you can’t do something. (And muckle can be spelt mochell if you want to but some modern Scots readers will squint at it)

I tried explaining that what the author had written was the equivalent of “yes. he’s very can’t” but she wouldn’t listen and it went to print anyway. Agony.

Anyway, I mentioned the DSL up top so I suppose I should link to it.

Most of the recorded words there are from 17th century onward. There is an option to search prior to that, though it is limited.

There are surviving texts from the 1500s, though unless you want your work to be readable by a limited few, I wouldn’t try to imitate it. It’s mostly written in archaic Scots that’d be illegible to even modern Scottish readers.

If it’s something you intend to go to print with, I’d also suggest hiring a Scots sensitivity reader. They can make sure there’s nothing glaringly obvious with misspellings and also if they know their history, point out where something is off.

My favorite is when Scottish historical stories have potato scones in the 11th century, which begets the concept of agricultural time travelers, but alas, it’s never that interesting and just a factual error.

Anyway, I hope that was helpful and not discouraging. Please do write your story. Just don’t fall down the Outlander trap of writing nonsense and trying to pass it off as a language that still exists and for which there is recognized meanings and spelling. Which it sounds like you want to do, so yay! Thank you for wanting to be considerate and as accurate as can be.

[notfreetoday]

MPW Ep 2 Subtitle Corrections

Subtitle Corrections: Ep 1 here

Cultural/Language Tidbits: Ep 2 here

Same translation disclaimer applies. Thanks to everyone reading the first post and geeking out with me in the notes, I really appreciate it XD Ok, Ep 2, let's go! Sorry in advance for the length!

If you're wondering why Yoh's freaking out about the rainy season even though they've been together for 3 years, the manga artist posted a clarification on twitter:

By the way, “it’s been 3 years since then” – that phrase refers to it being 3 years since that conversation regarding the slave contract. As for living together, they’ve only just started (to do so) around Mar/April*, so (at this point) it’s only been a few months (for them). What if (I) got it wrong…. I remember making a note of it, but the file that I wrote it in and passed over (to the crew) couldn’t be found right, so… (was it) a dream?” *Japan's rainy season comes around June/July, so this means that this is the first rainy season these two have been experienced together.

[Y: まずっ] Y: Tastes bad In case the original "that sucks" sounds like Yoh might be talking about the news of the young forecaster - he's really just talking about the food here.

[S: 遅くなるからいらねぇっつっただろう] Original: I told you not to bother since I returned late Mine: I told you I wouldn't need it cause I'd be late right? This is actually a pretty harsh sounding line tbh. It's sort of inkeeping with Segasaki's curtness, but still pretty harsh - so this tells us he's tired after a long day, and explains the frown on his face that Yoh just wipes away with his cuteness

Nikujaga literally means meat and potatoes. It's a stewed dish and a very well-loved comfort food. Super easy to make too (link goes to an easy to follow recipe, and the site also explains a little about the dish).

[Y: 本当、顔だけはいいよな] Y: Really, it's only his face that looks good.

I've talked about this in my cultural/language tidbits for this episode (linked up top) but I'll add it here for completion's sake

[Y: あ、いや。なんでもない…です*] (Ah, iya, nandemonai…desu*) Y: Ah, no, it's….nothing* Yoh let's his sentence trail off before tacking on a "desu" at the end. "Desu" is an ending verb characteristic of "polite" speech, which Yoh doesn't use frequently with Segasaki (in fact, by this point, he has not used polite speech with Segasaki at all, except for maybe saying the full form of the word "welcome home", and even that's pushing it). Here he adds it at the end as an afterthought (the polite form of "iya" would be "iie", if he had wanted the whole sentence to be polite from the get go), which tells us that Yoh's feeling a little off-kilter here, and does introduce the slightest distance between him and Segasaki. We'll see this distance increase as the episode goes on.

[Y: いや、どう考えても食べ過ぎだろう] Y: No but, no matter which way you look at it, (he's) eaten way too much hasn't he? Btw, if your hair started standing at the spoon scraping the pot - in the manga artist's post about visiting the shooting venue (as well as during Ep 1 twitter space) it was mentioned that Mashiko, the actor, can actually cook, so during filming they had to tell him what someone who can't would likely do, and also asked him to do the housework poorly (because Yoh's not supposed to be good at cooking or housework hahaha)

この人*、明日も朝早いんだよな。たぶん。 Original: This guy, has an early morning again tomorrow. Probably. Mine: This person*, has (to leave) early tomorrow morning too. Probably. *The word here is "kono hito", literally "this person". There's actually nothing wrong with the translation "this guy" tbh because that's a fairly neutral term in English, but I'm highlighting it here because in his monologues, Yoh usually refers to Segasaki using much rougher language, such as "koitsu, aitsu", except when he addresses Segasaki directly in his head. I'll talk more about how Yoh addresses Segasaki in the analysis post, but for now - this sentence hints that Yoh has clocked Segasaki's tiredness (subconsciously or not) and is feeling a little bad for him. Then again he quickly hides that by adding on "probably". (Adding the word "probably" behind your sentence is a common way to express doubt/negate what you just said, and incidentally is commonly used by comedians to deliver a punchline).

[Y: あの*…あの…寝るなら部屋でとおもって。] Original: Um… Hey… You should go back to your room. Mine: Um*... Um... if you're going to sleep then, (it would be better to sleep) in your room - at least that's what I thought...

*"あの…" (ano…), translated as "um" here, is a common sound you use when you want to get someone's attention but don't want to sound too demanding - it actually isn't being polite per se, but it does show the hesitancy with which Yoh approaches him. Contrast this with the way Segasaki gets Yoh's attention (so far it's just been "Yoh" or "Oi" - the latter of which you would NOT use unless you were close to the person, or looking for a fight).

As a general rule of thumb, the level of politeness in Japanese is directly correlated with the length of the sentence and just how far you can beat around the bush. So, Yoh's suggestion that Segasaki goes to sleep in his room is literally just "if sleeping, then room..." and everything else in that translation is assumed. He may not being using polite speech forms here (that would be "to omoimashita" instead of "to omotte") but this is still a common way to be polite because he's making a suggestion that is so mild Segasaki can choose to ignore it. This is a great example of Brown & Levinson's "negative politeness" which we'll revisit when analysing their speech patterns, and which you can read about in entirely too much detail here (free to read).

[Y: じゅあ、俺は寝るので** あの、その、そういうことで、おやすみ] Original: Then, I’ll go to sleep. That…sort of thing. Good night. Mine: So then, I'm going to bed, therefore**... Um... that... with that... night!

"Therefore" is an awkward translation for the word ので (node), which is more often translated as "so". I've chosen to use that word because "node", whilst again not a polite form per se, is less colloquial than the more commonly used "から(kara)", to mean the same thing. It tends to pop up more in writing than in speech. "Therefore" doesn't make a sentence polite/formal in English, but it's definitely less colloquial than using the word "so". The use of "node" is just that tiny bit out of place in this sentence paired with the informal pronoun "ore" for "I" as opposed to the more formal choice of "boku".

Again, Yoh answers Segasaki properly here with a "はい (hai)" as opposed to his usual "un" (which is a sound that expresses agreement), when told that Segasaki will be late again. There actually aren't very many moments where Yoh does speak politely to Segasaki (he's definitely rude when he talks about Segasaki in his head hahaha), so these moments stand out. This whole short exchange, together with the random -desu he added earlier, just make Yoh's sentences a little more stilted/awkward, and more distant. Individually they don't deserve much mention at all, but together, and in the context of his jealousy, show just how unsure Yoh is about where he stands with Segasaki.

[Y: あの人の帰宅が遅くなり] Y: That person returned home later and later

"That person" - similar to the above usage of "this person". This sentence is incomplete - the verb form of the last word - 遅くなり (osokunari) indicates that there should be a second part to the sentence (the "completed" form would be osokunatta). But after he says this, there is a pregnant pause, as Yoh puts his phone down and continues cooking alone. The pause continues all the way into the next scene, before the sentence continues, highlighting the loneliness that Yoh feels.

[Y: 当然、触れられることもないままに] Original: Of course, he did not touch me at all Mine: (and) of course, (I) remained untouched (by him) as well

The literal translation for this would be "(the situation in which I) was not touched (by him) continued on as well". Yoh uses the passive form of the word "touch", which places the emphasis on Yoh "receiving" the action of being touched as opposed to placing the emphasis on Segasaki "carrying out" the action of touching Yoh. Consider the difference between the sentences "I was hurt by him" and "he hurt me". The former is the passive form, and is super common in Jp, much less common in Eng. If this is confusing - welcome to Jp grammar just know that the emphasis of this line is more on what Yoh does not have, rather than what Segasaki has not done. It accentuates Yoh's feelings of emptiness and loss.

Y: すっかり日々は過ぎて Y: The days pass by completely ...

Similarly, this sentence is "incomplete", and is instead continued by Segasaki walking in and telling Yoh he'll be late again. (This whole bit just hurts my soul tbh, Yoh is so lonely. )

This is a teruteru bouzu aka a charm of sorts for good weather. See the cultural tidbits post for Ep 2 linked up top for more info!

This is said really strongly, and gives the "what the hell are you doing" feel. Yoh's truly upset here.

I try not to care about some of the subs in these side conversations because they don't add much to the main story and these posts are already too long, but this sentence should really be "Dammit, maybe I should (go) troll the chat" (and the previous sentence should be "If this was broadcasted in a certain country it would be instant death" aka N.Korea ^^;) and I just think it was a nice touch to hint at the fandom wars/flaming that goes on between fans hahaha

[Y: しんどい] Y: This is too draining The word here used is "shindoi", which is a term used when you're feeling mentally/physically exhausted/drained, and carries a sense of frustration (at feeling this way) and sometimes (emotional) pain.

This. Is. Huge. Segasaki does 2 things here - one, he rejects an after-work meal, which you rarely do because Japan is all about the group and rejecting a group invite, to welcome a new member, can make you seem like you aren't a team player - two, the guy who invites him is his senior, which you can tell because Segasaki sticks to polite speech forms whilst the other guy does not. It's still relatively casual, so you can tell he's got a good working relationship with them (probably why he's not worried about rejecting them) but still. In Segasaki's world, Yoh is the No. 1 priority.

This is more accurately "WTF". There are many sounds in Japanese that aren't exactly words, but carry a lot of meaning - "Haa?!" is one of them, and is a very rude way to express a lot of anger and shock. Please, never say this in real life. You will royally piss off whoever it's directed at and if you are outside a Shibuya bar you will get punched.

The word used here is てめぇ (temee), which is a really rude way to say "you", and has the same energy as "you bastard". Segasaki usually uses the informal pronoun "omae" for "you" when he talks to Yoh, he's definitely pissed off here.

This is the same word, "shindoi" again.

I'm going to put the rest of the whole argument here with just my translation because it's too long to screencap the whole thing.

[S: 何なんだよ？このエロい惨状は Y: うるさい。 Y: 俺は売れっ子エロ漫画家になるんだ S: なんだそりゃ。おい *takes away beer can* Y: 売れっ子さんが　シコリながらネーム描くと　いいのができるって言ってた S: なんも描けてなかったぞ。 S: おい、だめだっつってんの S: 飲みすぎ　出すもん出して　寝てただけだろう Y: 黙れ！ Y: 俺はエロくて　抜ける漫画描いて　いっぱい稼いで Y: 早く　こんなとこ出ていくんだ S: はあ？　おい、お前　どういうつもりだよ Y: どうもこうもないよ！ Y: 平気で抱かれてると思うなよ 。 Y: 俺のこと、好きでもないくせに Y: 便利な奴隷としか思ってないんだろう？そんなにやりたきゃ隣のキャスターとやってろよ S: お前　さっきから　何を... Y: 俺はあんな風に笑いかけられたことない]

Breakdown: S: What's up with this? This lewd disaster of a scene Y: (You're) annoying! ["うるさい (urusai)" is often translated as "shut up", but it literally means someone is being "noisy", and here is more of a complaint that Segasaki is being bothersome] Y: I'm going to become a hot-selling erotica manga artist! [the word used here is 売れっ子 (urekko), which literally means "someone who gets huge sales" and mostly refers to idols, entertainers, TV personalities etc. So Yoh is not just saying he's going to become popular, he's saying he's gonna be like a celebrity manga artist, which is why Segasaki snorts a little at this] S: What's with that? Hey. *takes away beer can* Y: The hot sellers say that if you jerk off whilst drawing your storyboard, you'll come up with good stuff [urekko-san is a pretty cute way of referring to these popular artists] S: You've not drawn anything, you know? [this is said with a really indulgent air, which contrasts directly with the more authoritative tone of the next line] S: Hey, I'm telling you no more *grabs beer can* S: You drank too much. You just shot what you shot and then went to sleep didn't you? [And this is back to an indulgent tone - also, everyone knows Segasaki is talking about cumming here, he just doesn't actually say it so directly] Y: Shut up! ["黙れ (damare) - contrast with "urusai" earlier. The former is used much less commonly and really does mean to "be quiet". This is why Segasaki pauses and looks at Yoh. Up until now Segasaki just thinks Yoh's gotten drunk and is whining cutely, but this word means things are serious.] Y: I'm going to draw manga that is erotic, that you can wank off to, and then earn lots of money [this is a call back to the conversation with Man-san over the phone in Ep 1, which I did not include earlier because I didn't think it was important to the story when Yoh says "the work that was released last month was amazing! There was a big buzz around the topic "I can't wank off (to this)" - Yoh was being sarcastic here, meaning that he got reviews that his work wasn't erotic enough] Y: and leave this sort of place soon! S: What? Hey - what (the hell) are you thinking? [Again, "haa?" here shows he does NOT like what Yoh's saying, but he does soften the end of the sentence with a "yo"] Y: I'm not thinking of anything! Y: Embracing me so easily - don't think you can (keep on) doing that [again, this is the passive form, so the emphasis is on Yoh being embraced, and here has the nuance of "don't think I'll just (keep on) being fine with being embraced (by you) like it's some sort of norm"] Y: when you don't even like me [this line has quite a bit of bitterness in it - the emphasis here is strongly on Segasaki and his apparent "non-liking" of Yoh my english is dying.] Y: You think of me as just a convenient slave, don't you? Y: If you want to do it that much, go do it with that forecaster next to you! S: You... from the start... what have (you been saying?) Y: I have never been smiled at like that before [again, this is in passive voice]

It's obvious from the acting alone that this entire argument is pretty emotionally charged - this is also reflected in the language because Yoh uses the pronoun "ore (I)" a lot. Pronouns are frequently dropped in Japanese - often you can go an entire conversation without ever uttering the words "I/me" or "you", in part because the pronouns are assumed and also because emphasis on an individual can come across as too selfish/narcissistic or direct. Segasaki uses them often enough with Yoh, which fits his personality, but Yoh normally doesn't. So, when he uses "ore" here it stands out - his plans to be successful and leave, his feelings, his interpretation of Segasaki's actions - all of the emphasis is on his own self. The message is very clear - Yoh is hurting a lot more than he is blaming or accusing Segasaki.

[Y: もう疲れた。あんたといると疲れる。嫌いだ S: お前　酒入るとめちゃくちゃしゃべるんだな Y: ねぇ、何で雨の時はだめなの？ S: はあ？　だって、お前が言ったんだろう] Y: (I'm) tired out. When (I'm) with you, (I) get tired. Hate it. [We've lost the "I" pronouns here, because the emphasis is on the extreme sense of physical and emotional fatigue as opposed to Yoh himself, and on how much he dislikes that feeling. Of note, "hate" here is closer to "detest/really dislike" - the word is "kirai" - which is not as strong as the word "nikui" which we talked about in Ep 1 when Yoh said he hated the part of him that always listened to Segasaki. Also, this is the first time Yoh has addressed Segasaki with the pronoun "you" out loud - he uses "あんた anta", which he also used in his head in Ep 1, after they did it. Again, we'll talk about this in the analysis post in the future, but for now just know that this term is usually used between older couples.] S: You... once you start drinking you really start talking huh? [literally, you "become able to talk"] Y: Hey...why is it when it rains, (we) can't do it? S: What? Because, you said so didn't you? [the last "haa?" from Segasaki! This time expressing his surprise and slight indignation.]

[S: 俺は優しいんだ] S: I. am. Kind. Great example of Segasaki's use of the "ore" pronoun here to quite literally emphasise how great he is. "優しい (kind)" in Japanese carries the connotation of being thoughtful, anticipating the other person's needs and wants and then meeting them etc. It's a characteristic that people often say they look for in their potential partners.

[S: そもそも、なんだ先の言いぐさは 好きじゃないだの　出ていきたいだの お前　俺のプロポーズを受けといてよくそんなことが言えんな S: 養ってやる*っつってんだ　プロポーズ以外になに] S: In the first place, what was with those things you said earlier? That you don't like me, that you want to leave... You... that was rich, saying all that after accepting my proposal. S: I was saying I'd provide and care* for you. If that's not a proposal than what is? ["養ってやる" is a pretty possessive way to say I'll provide for you - it's the same word used when referring to parent providing for a child, or an owner providing for a small animal. It's not rude per se, but it does imply a power imbalance. Segasaki actually sort of has a point here because... this is not something you say to someone else unless you're in a relationship ^^;]

S: ていうかお前、俺のこと嫌いなんだ S: どうなの S: Actually about that... so you hate me huh? S: Which is it?

S: ふーん。あ、そ S: Ohh..? I see. ふーん (Ohh..?) - Segasaki says this a lot, especially in this episode. This is another one of those sounds that isn't a word but carries a lot of meaning. It has a dismissive sort of tone to it, like you've already assumed something or when you're pretty nonchalant/not impressed about whatever the other person has said and are just playing along with them by giving them some attention (so again, if you use it wrongly, it can piss people off). Segasaki uses it whenever Yoh goes mute or shy, as a way to tease Yoh - though Yoh seems to think Segasaki is dismissing/not interested in his answer. あ、そ (A, so) - again, Segasaki says this a lot - can be interpreted as "oh really?/I see/is that so?" - Combined with the above, you can see why Yoh often thinks Segasaki isn't interested in his answer, and even when he does recognise it as teasing, he gets too flustered to do anything about it.

This seems to have gotten longer, if you reached the end - congratulations! I hope this makes it a little clearer why it's so obvious to us as the viewer that Segasaki is really quite patient with Yoh, and is waiting for him to come to terms with his feelings, but at the same time so confusing for Yoh, because of the way many of these interactions can be read both ways. In Ep 3, we'll really be able to get into their dynamics because they've got so much more interaction together.

[titaniasfairy]

oh simon’s so possessive…

cw: fem!reader, possessiveness, creepy men, slut shaming for a bit , possessiveness (again), breeding kink, aftercare

he doesn’t share food. his best mate could be starving and begging on his knees to just let his LT give him his mashed potatoes but simon would not budge. claims he needs the nutrients despite him eating 3,000 calories a day.

doesn’t share his tea either, but you could expect that from a brit. this man has a whole cabinet in the break room dedicated to his tea bags, sugar, herbs, etc. and don’t even think about using his milk when the regular gallon has gone bad or ran out. simon writes his name in bold sharpie across the carton, marking his property.

it’s like he was never taught the word ‘share’ in pre-school. you don’t even think you’ve heard him say ‘share’ before. it was no use telling him “sharing is caring” because that man in fact did not care and he’d scoff in your face if you uttered the phrase.

need an extra sip of water? sorry! simon’s already drinking the last bit while you’re asking him for some.

lost some socks in the drier and need to borrow one his millions of black ones? no can do! he can’t have an uneven number of socks! even if you pinky promise with a cherry on top he’ll tell you that he can’t trust you.

even down to the most minute of things, simon riley would not give up his stuff for anyone. you recall captain price asking him for a pen to sign some documents, but simon sent him packing.

but there was one thing he especially didn’t share: his lovers.

simon had never been broken up with in his life, he simply wouldn’t allow it. the relationship wasn’t over until he told his partner it was. so when you agreed to start seeing simon casually, it was like you were placed on lockdown.

it wasn’t like he didn’t trust you to be faithful, no no. he didn’t trust any man with eyes, hands, or a cock to be around you. you were just that precious to him.

despite you telling him repeatedly that this was only a “casual” thing (your definition of casual meaning occasional hookups and dates), simon treated the ordeal like you were a princess destined to marry your knight in a skull balaclava.

you were given the best treatment: flowers he picked from outside, dinner he cooked just for you, and not to mention the plethora of clothes and jewelry he donned you with. it was like having a sugar daddy- minus the creepy old man.

and the sex, oh it was heavenly. every time simon laid you down in bed you saw the pearly gates. his hands being the most holy thing to exist while he worshiped you at the altar of his bedroom and his cock blessing you with his love and mercy.

but this was most definitely casual, right? you were mostly in denial but would never come to terms with it.

when it came to you, simon was a different kind of possessive. not the “don’t touch my things” or “i’m not sharing” type, but the ravenous “i’ll gauge your eyes out and feed them to you” kind of possessive.

everywhere you go, simon’s not far behind. you will never be untouched unless you ask to be and there will always be a hand holding yours or an arm wrapped around your waist. it was like being with simon in public was like having a giant man surgically attached to you.

and so help him god, if anyone looks at you wrong they will hear about it! simon has no use to be scared of confrontation, given his massive size and downright scary voice. not to mention the whole skull mask was enough to get a grown man pissing his pants.

you two were in the grocery store, looking for ingredients for a new soup you wanted to make. while in the checkout line you could feel yourself needing to pee badly, and excused yourself to the nearby restroom.

on any normal day simon would wait patiently near the bathrooms, but seeing how long the checkout line was he relented on letting you go alone.

you peed, washed your hands, and reapplied some of your lip gloss in the mirror. before you left you adjusted the skirt you were wearing that fell to the middle of your thighs, simon loves it when you wear skirts, especially the ones he bought you.

after drying your hands you left to go find simon, before being startled by a man. he was about 5’10” to 6’0” with a medium build, but it was obvious he was a bit older. maybe mid to late forties.

“oh! i’m sorry i didn’t see you there.” you smiled at him and tried to move out of his way. he didn’t budge. “oh- excuse me sir.” still no movement.

“aren’t you a sight?” he stared down at you, eyes focused on your chest. you thought that he might be just trying to give you a compliment, some older men are like that.

“thank you mister, now if you’ll excuse me-“

“what’s your name baby?” god where was simon when you needed him?! you looked around and asked for help with your eyes, but no one seemed to notice you.

“i asked you a question, now.” you lied and gave him a fake name. ‘maybe he’ll just go away now’ you thought. he gave you a creepy grin and grabbed the hem of your skirt.

“isn’t that a little too inappropriate for a grocery store? or were you just asking for someone to-“

“what the fuck do you think you’re doin?’ you fuckin’ mad?” simon finally intervened the shit show that was unfolding.

“well your lady here needs to learn that if she doesn’t want attention then she shouldn’t dress like it.” he gestured towards your outfit. simon stepped in between you two to stop him from looking.

“she’ll dress however the fuck she wants to, and if you don’t get away from er’ , you’ll be dressing for your own funeral, lad.” simon put his hands on the man’s shoulders and you just can’t bring yourself to stop him. he just looked so much taller and bigger than the man that was just towering over you like a hawk watching its prey.

“you ever heard of keeping your hands to yourself?” simon’s accent gets thicker with each sentence while he begins to redden with anger, even through the skull balaclava.

“sir, that’s enough.” a store manager separates simon and the man. he takes your hand gently and leads you to the car.

“you alright, luv?” he only wanted you to be safe.

later that night, simon’s fucking you rough. his hands and gripping your hips like a vice and his cock his ramming into your sopping wet pussy. you can feel his fingertips begin to leave bruises while his lips work on marking your neck and collarbones.

“gotta make sure everyone knows you’re mine, darlin’”

your back arches and your freshly manicured nails are scratching his back, giving him the marks he oh so desires every time you touch him. simon’s name hangs from your lips like foliage once fell from ancient gardens, your eyes rolling back to your skull.

every sound you make just eggs him on further, his grip switching from your hips to the back of your knees. simon pushes your legs back to press up against your chest, giving him a deeper angle to thrust into.

“you feel unreal, babygirl. gotta keep you all to myself, you’re too good to give up.”

your moans are so pornographic to the point where the neighbors might complain. you or simon don’t seem to care, too caught up in the feeling of euphoria that only the two of you can give each other.

after a few minutes of ruthless fucking, the coil in your tummy begins to tighten and your legs shake in simon’s grip. you don’t even have to tell him that you’re close before he’s encouraging your orgasm.

“come on, luv. need to feel you cum on my cock, angel.” simon’s fingers graze your clit and you’re done for. your legs spasm and your hips buck into the air, releasing your sticky fluids onto simon’s pelvis and his cock. he lets out a visceral moan and pushes your legs farther back to behind your head, impaling you faster and harder then ever before.

“gonna fuckin’ fill you up. give you a baby, yeah? make sure everyone knows who you belong to. all mine. have you swell up with my kid. that’ll show em’ right?”

he fills you up fast while he’s speaking, simon’s cum shoots into your womb and you’re completely overstimulated. you cry out incoherent pleas while you clench around him with a powerful force.

simon shushes you and kisses you softly while you come down from your high. he strokes your face and tells you that he’s right here and it’ll be okay. this is what’s so special about him, his ways of ruining your body and immediately stitching it back together with a golden thread.

he lets himself sit inside your for a few minutes before pulling out and cleaning you up. but not before he gets all of his extra seed inside you, using his fingers to scoop up any excess. “gotta make sure it takes” he says.

simon doesn’t share, not even the things that are supposed to be casual.

[k1ngdom-of-thieves]

Can you do the dorm leaders + Lilia with a S/O who says random things when spaced out and has random "weapons"? (For example, during their hangout they just space out and randomly say "Skin rug." or whatever pops up in their mind and keep a potato peeler and point it at anyone if they say anything about their partner)

I’m so sorry but I couldn’t fit Lilia into this prompt, but please feel free to send in another ask for him!!

Dorm Leaders with a s/o that creates random weapons!

Riddle Rosehearts

Riddle has never been more confused about a person in his life. For a guy who’s entire life is based on rules, your apparent lack of them was nothing short of bewildering.

There was a time when you walked in on Floyd “teasing” Riddle. It’s straight up bullying. You appeared behind the both of them and whispered “grilled salmon”. Next thing both of the boys knew, you had a lighter in your hand!!

Riddle was absolutely mortified. How could you have such a thing on campus?? IN THE LIBRARY?? He’s glad that you cared about him enough to try to fight on his behalf, he just wished you didn’t do it inside.

Your random weapons are definitely something he has to get used to, but he loves you enough to try. You’re gonna have to give him some time though.

“Is it really necessary for you to have a hammer when I’m trying to feed the flamingos? I appreciate that you care, but if you hold it in your left hand, you’d be violating rule 423.”

Leona Kingscholar

Leona really didn’t mind your random weapons. If they didn’t do something to interrupt his naps, he didn’t have any reason to dislike them.

Most people aren’t dumb enough to try and threaten the housewarden of Savanaclaw, but the few that do are rarely prepared for going against his s/o first. Especially when they’re holding a wooden paddle.

At this point, Leona just kicks back and watches the underclassmen shit themselves. He knows you probably won’t end up hitting them but you don’t have to if they already ran away.

He’d be kinda confused on where and how you get these things onto campus, but usually not enough to ask you about it.

“Listen, I’m all for you wanting to “protect my honor”, but do you need to bring medieval weapons to watch us play spell drive?”

Azul Ashengrotto

Azul isn’t nearly as confused as some of the other dorm leaders. After years of dealing with Floyd and Jade, there isn’t much that surprises him anymore.

Although he wishes that you wouldn’t stand behind his potential clients with a frying pan when he’s trying to make a deal. He will admit that you’d be great security alongside the Leeches.

The Monstro Lounge gets a significant increase in signed contracts after Azul and you started dating. He’s very thankful for your “assistance” even if you were just standing there and takes you out to various dinner dates as a way of thanking you.

Octavinelle basically becomes the scariest place to be for those outside of the dorm. For everyone in it, seeing you with random weapons of destruction is just part of a normal day.

“As much as I love your contributions to my business, I have to ask that you don’t bring a spear to our dinner.”

Kalim Al Asim

Kalim thinks that’s the coolest shit in the world. You can just say a phrase and an object just comes out of your sleeve?? You’re like the great fairy that helped the poor stepdaughter!

Even after he realizes that it’s not magic, he still thinks it’s cool. Jamil on the other hand, doesn’t. I

He thinks that it’s great how the two closest people in his life are also the best bodyguards in the world!! How could a guy possibly ask for more than that?

“Hey, can you teach me how to pull weapons out of my sleeves? Oh wait, my dorm uniform doesn’t have sleeves. Well maybe you could teach me when I have my school uniform!”

Vil Schoenheit

Vil appreciates your dedication to keeping him safe, but he really doesn’t think it’s necessary. He has Rook as a flamboyant guard dog after all.

One time during the Halloween season the magicam monsters tried to grab Vil to take a picture with him. Little did they know that almost turned ended up with them losing their lives.

All they heard was someone whisper “monster chopper” and that already sent shivers down their spine. One thing led to another and then they were being chased by an axe-wielding vampire. Epel thought you were so badass

That was honestly the highlight of that year’s Halloween for most of the Pomefiore students, Vil included. Although he did give you some pointers to hold the axe a little more elegantly next time.

“Thank you for driving those terrible monsters off. I don’t think they would have let me go without a fight.”

Idia Shroud

Idia was probably terrified the first few times you did that. He visibly jumps when you randomly pull out Crowley’s whip to threaten some Savanaclaw students. How did you even get that

After a while, he just accepts it as part of his new norm. It wasn’t that difficult seeing that Ortho basically does the same thing as you but with military grade weapons.

He does wish that you wouldn’t make a scene with him right there. He already gets nervous walking around school, and now you’ve got EVERYONE looking at him.

Ortho appreciates your devotion to the special cause. Protecting Idia. Sometimes you two team up to make sure no one can bother him while he’s out buying manga.

“O-ortho? Y-y/n? why is everyone looking at us?? I told you guys to not harass people in my name when I’m out buying the limited edition copy of the Legend of Ganon.”

Malleus Draconia

Malleus actually finds your little quirk amusing. He has no shortage of guards and most people wouldn’t dare attacking him in the first place, so your protectiveness of him is quite odd.

He appreciates that you actually wait until a situation is most likely to turn into a fight before threatening someone. A couple of his guards are the “argue first, question second” type of people. cough Sebek cough

He does wonder where you get the weapons from. At first, he was under the impression that the words you said “summoned” them but he quickly found them to be unrelated.

He’s honestly really flattered that you protect him not out of a sense of duty, but because you genuinely care for him. Of course he has the majority of Disomnia keeping him safe but you were one of the only people to do so out of love.

“My darling, you can put away the potato masher. I’m fairly sure that the imbeciles started running after you said “brain crush”.”

[lowkeyrobin]

just wanted to request Karl and/or Quality with an Irish reader?? like reader can speak English but still has a thick Irish accent, kinda like jacksepticeye and minx

oooo okay okay!! ; also btw, I'm totally fine doing poly fics!! I did this one as poly bc romance 🤩🤩 but yeah, as long as whoever is involved are in the same age range and stuff it's good. that goes for all fandoms, I most likely won't ship whoever is involved together, only with the reader :)

KARLITY ; ireland, land of the free, home of the brave

summary ; reader is irish ❗️❗️❗️

warnings ; language

disclaimers ; I'm not Irish so please bare with my simple research on some of this lol

word count ; 400

masterlist

karl's the bigger swooner for your accent

genuinely finds everything you say differently compared to him the most adorable thing ever

bought a bunch of Patrick's Day shit to decorate the house and for him, you and alex to wear

you don't rlly take st patrick's day all that seriously but it's funny either way

sometimes he mixes your voice up with other streamers because a certain word under the accent trips him up, and he'll just start looking around for you??

"who the fuck are you looking for?"

"I thought I heard y/n.."

sometimes he'll just ask you to talk to get him to sleep or relax, your accent just calms him

you introduce him to some Irish dishes and he's in love with all of them

him and irish stew bro 💀 he's constantly asking for you to make it

he's in love with your accent

you do like culture dish nights where you cook dishes from your different cultures

yes karl is included, he does his best to actually make some sort of "american" food (half the time he orders mr beast burger)

quackity is down bad for that accent tho

he jokingly gets you a hoodie with some americacore phrase on it but with the Irish flag on it

^you wear it religiously just because it's funny

absolutely loves hearing you tell any stories, legends and myths from your culture

brings up the potato famine as a way to jokingly offend you during playful arguments

they both will happily join you and your family for any traditions, even if it means long flights and drives

the culture shock is insane lol

karl attempts to learn bagpipes and alex tries to play guitar/piano along with it

sometimes the accent just catches them off guard sometimes, because they get so used to it but when you're gone for a while they completely forget about it and it's like a jumpscare when they hear from you again

you randomly show them artists originated in Ireland because why not, cause they do it too (I love you The Cranberries and Sinead O'Connor)

you're cooked if you're a redhead 💀

they both constantly ask you if you're a viking or something

"what?? I dunno, why would I?"

"What is soda bread and raisins..." "You wouldn't like it"

"potato pancakes borty???" "don't judge without tasting, it's good!" "can confirm, that was delicious"

"can you make more of that irish coffee??" "Yeah, sure" "hell yeah"

[lukkabloom]

Fun facts abt residents according to Ikevamp Radio (ヴァンなま) Part 2

Continuing with the Ikevamp radio findings (& some stuff w/the VAs) I have episodes 4-7 this time!!! (also pls take this with a grain of salt bc idk how much of this is canon according to Cybird)

Episode 4: It’s just Vincent and Sebas’s VAs!!

Morishi emphasizes that he’s a special guest, not a permanent part of the show, Makki says that there should prob be only one MC. They settle on Morishi being a guest-regular

ANYWAYS ONTO THE BATH SEGMENT

Vincent’s learning to sing the song Sebas taught Leo in episode 1 & 3 (for anyone curious, the original song is called Ii yu dana [いい湯だな] by the Drifters [ザドリフターズ] and it was a song the group sung at the end of their TV show/stage from the 70s–late 90s. Sebas knowing that song would mean he was alive during this time period)

Sebas hears him hum, Vincent is embarrassed, telling him to forget he ever saw him singing

During the day, Vincent saw Sebas cutting and sorting the gardens, to which Sebas references Nippon Mukashi Banashi (Folktales of Japan) where so many Japanese folktales start with a character cutting grass/weeds

Vincent recalls that Theo called MC “hondje” and “dog”, worries that she might be offended at those names

Sebas reassures him that MC has a strong spirit, and shouldn’t worry abt her much

Sebas comments that while Vincent and Theo are siblings, they have completely different personalities

Vincent answers that many people have stated this, wonders what he has to do to make others believe that they are brothers

Sebas has Vincent do impressions of Theo, starting w/Vincent calling Sebas “hondje” but Vincent just calls him “wanchan” (doggy/puppy) instead

Sebas makes a weird/loud noise, saying that that’s just an angel playing with a puppy (the part where Sebas loses his sanity. Actually he’s losing more of it as the episodes continue)

Vincent relents, quietly mumbling “hey, hondje” to Sebas

Sebas says he’s so close, just needs to be a bit more intimidating

Vincent repeats “hey, hondje” with more determination, Sebas replies “I have received Master Vincent’s ‘hey hondje!!!!’” (Sebas is crazy I swear)

Sebas pressures Vincent to say “I will make you my dog,” like Theo, to which Vincent questions if Theo has ever said that

Sebas quickly answers yes, forcing Vincent to say the phrase but worded more respectfully “I will make you my dog, okay?” (peer pressure is never okay, ESPECIALLY concerning Vincent)

Sebas is satisfied with the result, saying that the two brothers are really related

(I LEGIT DON’T KNOW WHAT’S WITH THIS EPISODE)

Sebas confesses that he just wants to see Vincent as a sadist and Vincent just sweat-drops

In this episode’s “Can you tell me… your name?” segment… (aka my fav part of the livestream—lol it’s not even the skit in the thermae) 

Sebas’s chosen line was “I’ve boiled the pumpkin” (this was done during Halloween, that’s what’s with the pumpkin). There were a lot of food-related names, so Sebas would say “Cucumber, I’ve boiled the pumpkin” or “Miso soup, I’ve boiled the pumpkin” and many others (mushroom, pig, tomato, sweet potato, radish, shiitake, hanpen)

There was also one in which Morishi said “Aramaki, I’ve boiled the pumpkin” to which Makki replied “thank you,” and another with “Vincent, I’ve boiled the pumpkin”

Episode 5: feat. Theo’s VA Sato Hisanori & Earl Rose (ローズ伯爵)

First episode where there is video in the livestream (it was previously just audio)

(I love watching VAs play their roles so this episode is prob one of my favs)

Sato realizes what kind of crazy show this is when he has to say “konvampire” instead of “konbanwa” (good evening) as a greeting. I feel like every guest other than Tsuda has said this (at least implied) but Sato just straight up says this

Sato calls Makki “nii-san” (big brother) when they first greet each other, referencing their roles as Vincent and Theo (also, fun fact, the two VAs are born in the same month of the same year)

Sato asks the viewers who they like the most out of Vincent, Theo, and Sebas. The viewers overwhelm them with calls of “Vincent!!!”

Sato asks for them to stop, changing questions, asking the viewers who wears the best clothes out of three (Makki, Morishi, and Sato). The viewers still say Makki, though there are some saying Sato

Earl Rose is a guest for this episode. He is the lord (read: owner) of the vampire cafe in Ginza. (he’s basically here to promote the ikevamp collab w/his Vampire Cafe) Sato looks freaked out/uncomfortable by the earl. The three eat the collab foods and drinks provided (it looks pretty good tbh)

NOW ONTO THE “I LOVE YU” SEGMENT

Vincent sinks down to his shoulders in the waters, Theo can’t find him for a bit

Theo and Vincent enjoy spending time w/each other

Sebas can hold his breath underwater (in a hot bath) for 5 min. He did so to not interrupt the two brothers’ conversation (Sebas becoming more and more ooc)

Vincent stated that his previous record was 3 min 46 sec. Sebas said that “as a butler of this mansion, I shall keep on improving” (Theo doesn’t know what the heck is happening, but Vincent seems to be enjoying himself so he let’s go)

Vincent & Theo have never fought (as expected of such bros. Now that I’m rereading this I’m sure this is reinforced in various routes so maybe I don’t need this info)

Sebas (who tries to create some tea---figuratively) asks Vincent what he would do if his pancakes were covered by tons of syrup by Theo, to which Vincent replies “I will give those pancakes to Theo.”

Sebas switches over to Theo, asking him what he will do if Vincent steals his syrup before he can eat the pancakes. Theo answers “Easy. I’ll give the pancakes to my brother. It would mean that he wanted to eat pancakes so badly that he would steal the syrup”

There’s around 2-3 times where Theo almost gets angry at Sebas and Vincent has to stop him (pats his head and stuff)

Theo asks why Sebas is acting weird, to which Vincent believes its bc he’s working too hard, so they should help him out & fulfill his hopes/wishes

Sebas has a voice recorder??? Theo doesn’t know what it is

Theo doesn’t approve being recorded, but Sebas goes to Vincent for protection, who calms Theo

OK I don't talk about this segment much but for the first time since the episodes’ release, there was a tie in the votes in the drawing segment (van Gogh’s drawing section) between Morishi and Makki. Usually, they’ll give the best voted piece to a randomly selected winner w/the VA’s signature, but instead of giving out both pictures, they gave out Makki’s art piece (bc he’s van Gogh lol)

(they didn’t do the “Can you tell me…your name?” segment this episode, but this episode is legendary in my mind!!! So funny and entertaining)

Episode 6: No special guests!! Just Sebas and Vincent

Makki finally lets the viewers choose the official position of Morishi (guest, regular-guest, regular, or dyungyun). He’s officially the dyungyun (でゅんぎゅん) It’s an exclamatory phrase meaning exciting/heart-beating I think… I’ve been watching 6 episodes of the radio but I still don’t know what that phrase means exactly

Welcome to another episode of Sebas slowly losing his sanity! In today’s “I love yu” segment, Sebas makes his appearance by jumping into the baths!!!

Apparently Sebas has an urge to swim when he sees the large baths, and even is a first-class swimmer (スイミング一級) I think it’s a scale on how great he is at swimming, and it would mean he’s pretty good

Vincent has also seen him swim butterfly (idk if it's in the baths or in a pool but imagining Sebas swimming butterfly in the hot baths is amusing)

Vincent likes eating the motsunabe (もつ鍋), a type of hotpot that Sebas made

As an adult, Vincent spends his Christmas season painting, but as a child, he would spend time w/Theo baking cakes, decorating trees, or playing in the snow

One time, Theo cried when a snowball hit him in the face

The two decide to do yaminabe (闇鍋) w/the residents. It is when you darken the room, and anyone can put anything in the hot pot. Vincent’s curious what the others will decide to put in the hot pot.

They created a new segment in the show called “Vanmana Involuntary Awards 2017” (ヴァンなま勝手にアワード) where they review the year 2017 with things related to Ikevamp and the radio. The first award is the most popular phrase which ended up being voted as “dyungyun”. The second is deciding on the best artwork produced in the “van Gogh’s drawing section” with the winning piece being a drawing by Makki titled “A woman being kabedon’d by an Ikemen in a dark room” (yes that’s the title). The third is voting on what the viewers want ikevamp to do in the future (ex. Voice drama CDs, more livestreams, raiding Ikesen, etc.) with the winning choice being to raid Ikesen. And in turn, it is implied that Ikesen would raid Ikevamp. The last is asking the viewers if there has been any change (physically, mentally, emotionally) ever since they started watching the radio, with the most votes on the viewers being more interested in Morishin and Makki.

AND of course, my fav segment “Can you tell me… your name?” Vincent’s chosen line was very nice “Christmas? I don’t need anything. All I want is (y/n) alone.” 

BUT Sebas’s chosen line is (drumroll please…) “(y/n), did you write your New Year’s greeting card?” and the first name he called out was “Santa-san, did you write your New Year’s greeting card?” AND I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING

Other names used were reindeer, postbox, and dyungyun (most were legit names tho)

They also did a third phrase where after saying (y/n), Sebas and Vincent will say a line, and I guess the staff felt bad for Sebas or smth bc he has legit lines in all of the available options. It was decided that Vincent would say “(y/n), I love you,” (大好きだよ) and Sebas would say “I love you” (愛していますよ) after Vincent (Both mean the same thing, just worded differently. Vincent's "Daisukidayo" would prob be closer to "I like you" meanwhile Sebas's "Aishitemasuyo" would be "I love you" if I were to be very specific)

I thought people would submit serious names (many did) but there were names like ice, carbonara, butter, napolitan (many varieties of pasta). There was also Rose and the two VAs were like “Earl Rose??? You watch this???"

Episode 7: feat. Comte’s VA Horie Kazuma

OMG Comte’s VA has such a sexy cool voice I can’t

So I didn’t know this, but you can talk to Vincent on Amazon Alexa?? I don’t have one so idk if it still works but apparently it’s called “Vincent’s time” (フィンセントの時間) and Vincent can tell you the time of day and you can talk to him and stuff??

Video showing Vincent's Time here part 1 part 2 part 3

It’s so funny how similar Horie is to Comte bc Makki and Morishin will be loud and talkative while Horie just watches over the scene like a parent

ANYWAYS for the thermae skit…

It’s rare for the others to meet Comte in the thermae since Comte baths at a later time than the others

The topic of today’s thermae episode is mainly about the construction they have in the baths (prob in another part of it??) Sebas came back running after looking at it, Comte and Sebas told Vincent not to worry about it (WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE??? we'll never know...)

Vincent wants to paint scenes he’s never seen so he’d like to go out to various places

After living for so long, Comte said he’s starting to lose the concept on the importance of New Year’s and New Year’s resolutions (this episode was broadcast on Jan of 2018)

Vincent says that Comte’s like a father, to which he replies, “Haha, I’m not like a father. When you call me something as young as a ‘father,’ it makes me feel embarrassed. I’m probably way older than you two think I am”

Sebas replies, “Oh, of course. None of us know how old Comte actually is”

Comte continues, “It’s rude to ask a vampire their age. Besides, men like to keep their secrets hidden.” To which Sebas is like “As expected of le Comte. That is admirable.”

According to Sebas, Jean has a breast fetish?? Sebas apparently knows nothing else abt Jean other than that single fact

So… the “Can you tell me… your name?” is *chef’s kiss* amazing as usual

Comte’s line was “(y/n), I won’t let you go” and for one of the names, he said “Aramaki, I won’t let you go” & you can tell the staff were laughing. 

So Sebas… his chosen line was “(y/n), isn’t this bed a bit hard?”

There was “Comte, isn’t this bed a bit hard?” and Horie replies “No,” in his Comte voice & it’s amazing. There’s also “Aramaki, isn’t this bed a bit hard?” and Makki replies “Yup.”

Other notable names include bed, obachan (Auntie), Morishima (yes the VA’s asking himself) and employee (店員さん)

Also Morishi does voice-percussion at the end of the stream and… I’ll just say it’s interesting :))

(Also the updates will prob be daily since I've watched & have the next couple parts written already. I just have to watch the last couple & write about it, which should be done soon)

[signedmio]

I was waiting for an opening as I saw you had match ups available and would love to see who you'd put me with.

Preference for male characters from Hazbin Hotel

About me: You can call me Claire. I'm AFAB she/her, 5'3", panromantic demisexual. I'm Tim Burton pale, brown eyes, messy curly bob brown hair, glasses with glasses chains usually, chubby but strong, dress either romantic gothic feminine or butch cryptidcore, like no in between, never wear make up because sensory hell.

Some type of neurodivergent but not diagnosed specifically. I tend to know a little about a lot of things due to jumping from focus to focus. Queen of Dad jokes, rather blunt since I'm not subtle. Aside from English can speak Latin, some Gaelic, some Spanish, a little bit of Turkish/Arabic, Church Greek and Slavonic, and random phrases in Russian, German, and Italian. I'm ENFP, Ares cabin from PJO if that means anything.

I teach preschool, love children as they're so fun to be around and the possibilities they have ahead are wonderful. I also bake, sew, knit, read tons of books, collect rocks and other nature stuff, tend to the gardens, I sing in my choir, and like to listen to music. Not specific music genres that I care for, more vibes, but been into some Bauhaus lately, along with SJ Tucker and The Dead South.

My faith is important to me, I even am considering pursuing becoming a religious sister at a convent, like a nun.

I do love horror, romantic gothic poetry (Think Poe and the like), analog horror(DOAI, Mandela Catalogue), Dr. Who, bad b movies (think Redletter media level bad), animation in general, HB HH, stuff like that, I read everything and anything so long as the narrative is interesting or the subject is a hyperfixation of mine, such as Religions, Mythology, History relating to late Medieval to Elizabethan, textiles, fantasy, or speculative biology (like thought potato on youtube). I also do dress in character for the Renaissance Festival, people assume I work there as I have season passes for the last 5 years and attend all weekends from open to close.

I tend to be a sweet tooth, love any chocolate, baked goods with richness or chocolate flavors, drink lots of coffee, tea, sweet red wines, mead, rum based cocktails or dark malty beers if we're going alcohol, though I tend to be the driver if I'm going to party somewhere. My giving love language is touch and words, along with acts of service. My receiving love language is words, touch, and gift giving. I love to cook or make gifts for others, usually don't expect it in turn.

I'm loud, maternal, weirdly dark yet wholesome, and able to lift a toilet with my bare hands up two flights of stairs. I tend to talk either like a southern grandma or terminally online weirdo with random swears. When friends have a bad breakup I'm like do you want a hug or does someone have to die?

In relationships I can be very talkative, but also in a sense the less dominant partner. Like, I handle the day to day, but not great at organizing the dates, the stuff like that's more romantic. I'd hope my partner could handle that part. I'm also romantically easily flustered. Like squeaking and burning red in the face from genuine good flirting.

So hope you can find someone right for me, God Bless you dear.

hello claire!! i decided to pair your with…

Lucifer !!

First of, he loves your love of kids, and let’s be real, he probably has a love of kids as well, as much as Charlie is an adult, he would probably eagerly introduce you to her after finding out this tidbit of info

Honestly, to him, you give off very strong, emotional support wifey vibes and honestly he is all in for it haha

Lucifer doesn’t mind that you can be very talkative, infact, he enjoys it.

He tries to make it fairly easy when it comes to planning dates for you, so most of the time, you both just stay in

Also, Luci is definitely someone who gets flustered easily, so you both just end up giddy and smiley at eachothers shy little flirty comments and it’s the most heart warming thing

[toomuchracket]

girlie early on in the pregnancy on tour with matty when the cravings start and he’s literally doting on her every wish no matter the time of day or night. getting the bus to stop just so he can find the one food that wont make her nauseous 🥺🥺🥺

2am and he wakes up to you shaking from crying in his arms and he goes into panic mode and you're like "the baby wants potato chips and i don't have any left"; matty's like "oh ok darling. i'll sort it. sit up for me and have some water in the meantime. little sips, sweetheart, don't overdo it. be back in just a minute, alright?", and you're like ":(( ok". as soon as matty leaves the little back bedroom you've been given, mark's awake and alert like "everything ok?", and matty's like "yeah she's just getting cravings. gonna see if i can find any crisps for her" - mark's like "think we're out. but we should be stopping to refuel in the next ten minutes, if you want us to go and grab them", and matty's like "we really don't pay you enough" lol. anyway, the two of them go on a crisps run once the bus stops (mark also sensibly suggests sprite for nausea) while you talk to the bump to distract yourself; matty walks back into the bedroom to find you singing to baba, and his heart just swells at the cuteness. speaking of - your face totally lights up at the sight of him and the crisps (mostly the crisps), and you inhale like half a tube of pringles before you're like "ok, our baby is satisfied. thank you, my love" and kiss matty, who's like "anything for my girl. for my family, actually. shall we all get some sleep now?". you're already drifting off snuggled into him with a sleepy "love you", and he barely manages to get the same phrase out before he conks out too - doesn't last long, though, until you wake him up to tell him you feel sick lol. but yeah he's a sweetie <3

[icedmatchatae]

Glimpse of Us | KTH Chapter III: Blue

Pairing: Problematic Idol Taehyung x Grad Student Reader

Genre: Idol AU, Ex-Childhood Best Friends into—, Angst (Hello, welcome to my angst central), Fluff (mainly in the flashbacks), Slow Burn, Eventual Smut

Summary: BTS’s V has been living a lavished and successful lifestyle, but underneath all of that, Kim Taehyung is far from the perfect image the media and fans made him out to be. All he wants is to relive the feelings of happiness and purpose in his life, but how can he when he left behind those memories years ago? The same memories, he hopes to see a glimpse of.

Warning: Fighting, flashbacks (fluff, when they were little 🥹)

Word Count: 6.4k

Chapter III: Blue || Series Masterlist

Taehyung stared mundanely at the scribbled notepad laying on the desk of his studio. His gel-inked pen tapped rhythmically onto the surface as he licked his lips  Short phrases were written across the sheet, insignificant notes in the corners, like, groceries or calling someone, but most of the space was taken up by doodles he drew out of boredom. He didn’t get very far today, maybe a sentence or two, but he doubted it’ll make sense. He breathed out and lightly threw his pen on the table before leaning back into the chair. Coming here was a bad idea.

Taehyung crafted many songs within this very room, Scenery, Blue & Grey, Winter Bear, and other unreleased content. He remembered the motivation he once had, the passion inside, and now there was a lack of it.

It has been a while since he stepped into the studio. After the break, he didn’t go into the HYBE building in hopes it did something to ease himself. But after almost a month of being away, Taehyung felt isolated as he only stayed home and went to therapy. But when he didn’t have to go in, he didn’t want to be home, so he’d go out, and that was about it. He acted like a potato when in actuality, he was a multi-billion-won idol.

He assumed coming back to the studio would be a nice change, maybe even pull out a song or two for his solo album. Everyone in the group has been working diligently on their individual projects with Hoseok having his album coming out. The only person that wasn’t working was Taehyung.

At least he and his members had some kind of agreement that he should pause his professional life. But then, it slowly went into a rant from Namjoon and Seokjin about his well-being and he disassociated from the conversation.

He had a few events in his schedule, but that was about it. With the amount of free time the idol had, he didn’t know what to do.

Actually, that was a straight-up lie. He did know, but he didn’t know how to because it revolved around you. 

It has been a few days since he ran into you. If he was honest, when you said that, it fucking hurt, like hearing your voice—the voice that brought him solace—telling him to leave you alone, it brought stabs to his chest. You were so cold within that short exchange, it wasn’t how he remembered you.

But it was still you.

You were still his Blue.

“Blue!!” Taehyung shouted as he barged into your room without notice.

On the floor resting on your stomach, you were coloring in your coloring book with colored pencils. You dragged the tinted led within the lines and filled the blank spaces. You were too focused on your activity, unintentionally ignoring your best friend.

“Blue!” He called your endearing nickname as he laid his body on top of you, squishing you in the process.

“Oof, Hyungie!” You whined his nickname, trying to push him away and he was heavier than you.

“Notice me!” He giggled before rolling off of you before he positioned himself right next to you as you proceeded with your coloring. “Hey! Hey!!!”

You puffed, closing your book to turn to your friend. “Yes?”

“I have something for you!” He announced with a cheeky grin. You leaned your cheek into the palm of your hand, letting it carry some weight as you waited for him. He reached behind him and dug into his back pocket, then pulled out a smooth rock. “Tada!!”

You gasped, “Ooo, this is the prettiest one yet!” You opened your unoccupied palm out to him. He passed the stone and you examined the newest one in your collection. The size was small enough to hold between your minuscule thumbs and forefinger as the ivory-beige surface reflected from the sunlight spilling through your window. You followed the glimmer as it flashed on the cheeks of your best friend. 

You lowered your hand as you grinned happily, “I love it, Hyungie!” You threw yourself onto him to give your famous “blugs” as Taehyung loved to call them, also known as Blue hugs as they always made him happy or calmed him down.

He wrapped his arms around you as your cheeks touched with his, “You can add them to your collection.” You nodded as you got up from the floor to head into your closet where your collection box of various pebbles or rocks was stashed.

It wasn’t completely filled, maybe at most seven, as it only started a couple of months ago. You enjoyed it though and Taehyung knew you loved it so he too helped out with your hobby. Almost every single day, you begged him to find a rock for you.

You asked him before if he wanted to start a collection as well, but he said he didn’t need to since he was fine with the one he had. You were confused by what he said, but he clarified it by saying, “You’re the only rock I want.”

As you settled your newest one to the edition, you heard Taehyung speak, “Blue, do you wanna play with me and some kids at the playground?”

Your eyes widened at the suggestion. You weren’t that keen on leaving the house today. You’d rather stay home and color. Your neck extended back to him and you said, “Uhh, you can go without me.”

But your response only made your best friend pout, “But I love having you there, Blue.”

“W-will there be a lot of kids there?” You stammered, you fully turned your body to him and tilted your head.

“I’m not sure, but your grandma and my mom said yes!” He beamed a smile at you, only making you give in to him. You loved seeing him happy.

“Okay,” You nodded with a gentle smile back, but Taehyung somehow knew it was slightly discomforted. “You’ll play with me, right?”

Taehyung crawled towards you to put his hands on your shoulders. You stared at your large sparkling irises, waiting for him to speak. “I will always play with you, Blue. Just play a game or two with everyone.”

Your rosy cheeks protruded out, showing the authenticity of your smile. He loved that look on you. He squished your cheeks together and shook you a bit, causing you to whine at his playfulness.

“Don’t leave my side, okay?” You asked as reassurance.

“I’m never leaving your side, I swear.” He promised as he crossed his heart through his twisted fingers over his chest.

“Then let’s go!” You cheered before grabbing his hand to pull him up and run out of your house together.

Taehyung smiled softly at the memory. Rocks and playing at the park with other children seemed like strenuous tasks when you were younger. Looking back, he wished it was your only problem now.

You two trusted one another throughout your childhood, helping one another out. Whether it was helping to participate in socialization or homework, it was difficult but you eventually overcame it together. All without leaving each other behind.

It was always you two, Blue and Hyungie, a complete package to everyone’s eyes despite some of them begging to differ. They knew they couldn’t pull you both apart. It was merely impossible.

Funny how things changed. The broken promises, the hostility between each other—well, one-sided,—the impossible became possible.

He didn’t anticipate the meet because what were the odds? You weren’t one to move or go into the big city, because of how you were. You were so shy, quiet, and hesitant about a lot of things. But again, who knew? He hasn’t known what you’ve done through the years passed.

He knew what you had together was strained and it stung, but the moment he saw you, he knew. All the memories, all the years of friendship, all the promises were back, and most importantly, you were back.

He was determined to get you back into your lives. He’ll do what it takes.

-

“Why do you keep staring at the entrance?”

You averted your attention to your curious coworker. It was your night shift again, but today was slower than usual, especially for a Friday night. Maybe your usual customers were drunk elsewhere hitting on younger presenting women. Since it was too slow that no one was here, you had a break with Kenji as he slurped up noodles in front of you.

“I’m not? Just daydreaming.” You muttered, leaning your arms on the table. You eyed the tarp before you played with the straw of your drink.

“No, you’re waiting for someone to come,” Kenji smirked. “Specifically someone named V?”

“No,” You clipped as you rolled your eyes. “And why would someone have a single letter for a name? Fucking stupid.”

“You say no but I’ve been watching you do the same thing the past three days.”

“Are you spying on me, you creep?” You scoffed as you sipped your beverage.

“It’s an observation, especially when you’re working less than me. That’s not supposed to happen!” Kenji rambled his stressor onto you, but you remained unaffected. After gathering himself together, he cleared his throat. “Look, though you seem to act like you want nothing to do with him, you clearly want to see him again.”

“No, I don’t.” You replied shortly. “I-I’m just waiting for another customer to come in. It’s slow and I actually want to work unlike you.”

“Whatever.” He rolled his eyes before going back to his food. You then heard the tarp open, ready to serve the customer. You stood up and looked in that direction, only to frown publicly.

The customer before you had the eyes you didn’t openly want to see but can spot kilometers away even with your poor vision. He dressed more casually, in a hoodie and loose pants with a mask covering his face. You noticed it was only him, no Seojoon or Wooshik which deflated you a bit. Wasn’t he famous and needed bodyguards everywhere he went? What was Taehyung doing here alone on a Friday night?

“Ken, can you serve them? I have dishes to do in the back.” You tried excusing yourself, feeling Taehyung’s eyes on you.

“No, since you’re so passionate about serving the customers.” He said tersely as he munched on his noodles.

You grimaced at your coworker before glaring at him. You grabbed a menu and nodded towards any seat for him. He smiled back with ease and you hated it. You watched as he took the corner seat in the front, facing the back.

You cautiously walked towards him and placed the menu in front of him. “Welcome, how may I help you?” You spoke monotonously.

“I’ll have water and coke for now,” He asked sweetly. The tone was poisonous to your dark aura towards him but did your best to not show it. You hummed boringly before turning away from him to get his drinks. You don’t see it, but his eyes never left yours and it can be felt.

As you walked to the back, you heard Kenji say, “Have fun with your boy toy.” He stage whispered. Without turning your head, you merely flipped him off before you grabbed some cups. You heard Kenji let out his annoying laughter.

You came back to Taehyung’s table with his order in your hands. You placed them down before pulling out your mini booklet to write the orders. “What would you like?”

“How are you?” Taehyung asked as he looked up at you. Your eyes pulled away from the blank pad to get a good look at the idol. His expression held genuine curiosity and wonder toward you.

You didn’t like the feeling he gave you, so your only way to refute was through passive-aggressive statements. “What would you like, sir?”

“___, that’s too formal. You can call me—”

“I don’t care, what would you like to order?” You were brusque, despite him being a customer. It couldn’t be helped. If ignoring him wasn’t working, maybe anger would.

Taehyung frowned and a slight nip to his chest at the way you spoke to him. You detected his hurt, but you say nothing and waited for him to order. Knowing he needed to do a bit more effort but had to do it carefully, he sighed and ordered like any regular customer. You did your typical report back as confirmation before ringing in his dishes.

While waiting for his meal and for you to come back, Taehyung spotted the messages on his phone. They were all coming from Clara which made him pull a face of discomfort. Didn’t she have something to do tonight? The majority of the messages asked where he was or if he’ll be home for dinner, the standard bug of annoyance within his daily life.

He quickly texted back saying no and that he was out with friends as an excuse. Maybe she’ll leave him alone after that.

It was only until Clara texted at a record speed saying that she told him to go have fun and how she loves him when he saw you coming back with one of his dishes. Though he read it, he didn’t text back and locked his phone before you were near his peripheral vision. He shined an exciting grin on your animosity as you settled the plate down. You muttered a quick “enjoy” and were about to turn away until he called for you.

Your eyes met his and waited for his request. “Come sit with me.”

“Can’t, I’m busy with work.” You answered swiftly, not wanting to be near him.

Taehyung scanned the empty restaurant and cocked an eyebrow. “There’s no one here.”

“And so? I have other things to do besides attend to customers.” You snapped back. You didn’t bother to even wait for his answer as you went back to the kitchen to retrieve his other food. You noticed Kenji moved leisure spots as he was now sitting on one of the kitchen surfaces. He too viewed your irritated demeanor, trying to grab all the dishes at once.

“You got him all to yourself, you know?” Kenji grinned as he grabbed a baby carrot on the side.

“Shut up, it wasn’t my choice anyway because of your lazy ass.” You retorted, collecting the plates to your tray.

“I can sense that he did something to already annoy you.” He continued to speak without your consent. “Well, I don’t think he even needs to t—”

“You either help me pass these to him or else I’ll rip your nuts off.” You threatened before you stared deadly at his frightened expression. He got off his butt and assisted you with the food. He followed behind you out of the kitchen with a filled tray.

While you and he silently placed the orders on the idol’s table, Taehyung couldn’t help but stare at you. He begged for your attention, but you weren’t having it. He was trying his best to approach you gently, but it almost seemed impossible with how you were towards him. The only thing that was helping him was the fact that you needed to serve him.

“Enjoy your meal!” Kenji bowed at the idol with a smile while you stood straight with crossed arms. 

Taehyung’s eyes flicked from you to Kenji, getting an idea out of nowhere. “W-would you both like to sit and eat with me? This is awfully a lot for one person?”

You rolled your eyes at what he was trying to do. “Well, that’s your fault. You ordered them so—”

“Anything for the customer!” Kenji exclaimed before grasping your arm and pulling you to sit down in front of Taehyung. Your coworker settled next to you and thanked Taehyung for the meal.

You turned towards Kenji and squinted, “You already ate and you do realize th—”

“I don’t care. Free food.” The younger man shrugged as he adjusted the chopsticks to his liking before digging into the food with no shame whatsoever. He shoved various vegetables and meats into his filled mouth without even chewing which disgusted you.

“___, aren’t you gonna eat?” Your eyes shifted to Taehyung who had yet to eat his food, tilting his head.

“I’m not hungry.” You said. It was a lie, but you refused to give him the satisfaction.

“Are you su—”

“She hasn’t eaten since breakfast.” Chunks of food flew out of Kenji’s mouth, making you both grimace at him.

But the very discovery of you not eating for hours had Taehyung concerned. The idol frowned in worry as he pushed the bowl of beef bone soup to you. “You need to eat more, it’s not healthy to skip meals.” He expressed before adding spicy sauce, garlic, and mints to the bowl. “I remembered this is your favorite and you loved putting these inside.” He recollected from memories with a proud smile.

You hated that your chest slightly tightened at how he remembered your favorite soup and toppings. It was something you were passionately particular with, especially with your soups since you loved the kick to it. “No, thanks. It’s not my favorite anymore.” You lied again as you leaned back into the chair. You refused to give him that pleasure.

“Oh.” Taehyung’s lips thinned into a line before looking down at the other plates.

Kenji raised an eyebrow at the encounter. He questioned how a world’s famous idol knew you and judging by appearance, tried to gain some sort of acceptance from you. He also wondered what happened between you two. But right now, you were making the atmosphere awkward, and wanted to enjoy his meal.

“Yah, just eat it! Don’t care if it isn’t your favorite.” Kenji muffled with food in his mouth. “Be grateful he’s feeding rats like us!”

Well, that did it because now you felt guilty about your childish behavior. Yes, it was irrational but to give to Taehyung, it wasn’t. He, unlike every human, didn’t deserve your kindness.

Still, knowing that Kenji would grow irritated at you for giving up a free meal, you let it go just this once. So you wordlessly picked up the spoon while dragging the bowl more to you. You scooped broth and sipped the warmth delicacy. Jesus, it hit the spot after starving for hours.

“Eat well, ___.” Taehyung desired for you with a gentle chuckle. The vibrations in his chest were evident, letting you remember the joy it rung in the past when he was with you. You eyed him out, consuming the meat the soup came with. You showed no effort to show your appreciation other than eating.

Though Taehyung got hurt by your overlook, he tried to feel better due to the fact you were still in front of him. He too began eating, but he attempted to start conversations with both of you. However, only Kenji was willing to yap his ass off, telling the idol his whole biography from start to finish.

Unluckily for an oblivious Kenji, Taehyung didn’t care as his gaze kept on your quiet state. You did not participate whatsoever and it showed as you made it blatantly obvious yet polite that you wanted to leave after finishing your meal within ten minutes.

Taehyung remembered how you would eat so fast especially when you’re hungry. Satisfaction ran across his body, staring at your familiar features. There were little things that he’d always remember about you, yet you remained stubborn in proclaiming you’ve changed.

“So how do you two know each other?” The question Kenji blurted out threw you both off. He went from talking about the time he stepped on a prickly coral in Busan to wanting to know the gossip between you too.

Taehyung blinked before furrowing his eyebrows, “Uhh, we are childhood best friends since we were five and six.” His tone was rather prideful for realizing how long he has known you.

“Were. We were childhood best friends.” You corrected as you sipped on some water.  “Not anymore.“

The idol felt disheartened. He assumed no one in your life knew who he was to you if Kenji had to ask. “You’re still my best friend.”

“Well, you’re not for me.” You immediately shut down, somewhat regretting the poison you’ve given.

Taehyung sighed and nodded, but it wasn’t for acceptance but for acknowledgment. “When my friends and I came here the other night, it was the first time I saw ___ in years so it’s nice to know a familiar unforgettable face like hers.”

“Oh, please.” You mumbled, scowling at his lying words which the idol caught.

“It’s true,” Taehyung murmured, yet his words were very much coherent to the workers. You thinned your lips, not buying into anything that came out of his mouth.

“Wow, so you knew V of BTS before he was even famous?” Kenji asked you in astonishment.

You couldn’t hide the fact when the allegations were clear on your face. Plus, putting effort into hiding you knew him required work that you didn’t want. “Yeah, I guess.” At least you acknowledged you knew him for Taehyung’s distraught sake. 

“Ooh, how exciting!” Kenji cheered. “Was ___ always this bitchy?”

“Kenji!” You scowled before slapping his shoulder. Your coworker winced in pain, complaining about what he did.

Chuckling at your interaction with Kenji, Taehyung huffed out, “___ is the sweetest, kindest person you’ll ever meet.”

“I beg to differ.” Kenji scowled at you as you stuck your tongue out. 

“I promise you she is.” The idol reassured, but you didn’t like how Taehyung was spreading things you didn’t want him to.

Your patience was running thin so you shouted, “You don’t know sh—”

“Oh my!” Another voice popped out of nowhere, grabbing the attention of the occupants from the table. It was your bosses. “Handsome boy! You’re back.”

“What are you talking about, Halmeoni? I’ve always been right here.” Kenji snorted with a boosting ego.

“You, hush up.” Harabeoji hissed at Kenji, causing him to pout.

Ignoring her grandson, she continued looking. “How are you, dear? Thank you for keeping them busy and with company.”

Taehyung shook his hand in disagreement, “Oh no, no need to thank me. I enjoyed my meal here the other day. I wanted to come again, and you have excellent servers.”

Though Kenji was pleased with the praise, you had revulsion written on your demeanor. You didn’t need his commentary or him.

“Halmeoni, this guy I told you about! He’s famous, he’s in BTS!” Kenji announced excitedly.

“Oh, you’re in BTS?!” The old lady’s jaw unlocked in shock. She scrutinized Taehyung’s face closer than normal before realizing it. “You are! You’re the handsome V! Oh my, V loves our food! Honey, V of BTS loves our meals!” She shouted out to her husband as she slapped his arm in excitement. Harabeoji also bounced in giddy at a celebrity in their restaurant.

Ugh, now the whole restaurant staff knew him and is going googoogaga at the idol.

“And ___ knew V from when they were younger.” Kenji didn’t need to add that in but he did anyways. You snapped your head back at your coworker and were about to protest but Halmeoni interjected.

“___, how come you never told us?” Your lady boss whined, almost as if she was scolding you. 

Again, you wanted to vocal yourself out but someone interrupted. “Halmeoni, we actually haven’t seen each other in years, so coming here the other night was the first in a while,” Taehyung explained politely.

Halmeoni laughed in delight as she clapped, “Must have been exciting to see him again, right ___?”

You refused to answer that specifically so you merely shrugged. “Would be nice, but he seems fine with all his nice famous friends.” You thought it was a good time to get up and bus the table, so you did and let them continue the conversation without you. Taehyung knew what you were doing, but wasn’t able to acknowledge it as your boss spoke again.

“It’s so exciting to meet a celebrity! You work so hard, son.” She praised the idol. Though she meant no harm and he didn’t take it with heart, he was a bit vexed. He was indeed an idol and all, but he hated being seen like this in public. 

“Halmeoni, if you do help me, please don’t tell anyone else about me.” Taehyung requested. “I like to be kept hidden in certain situations like this and please, just call me Taehyung.”

You eyed him out when he wasn’t looking. Maybe it was protocol for him since he was alone. At least he was polite enough to tell them because you could tell that him hearing “V” or “BTS” was bothersome.

“Got it, we’re sorry!” Harabeoji apologized on their behalf.

“No, no. It’s fine.” The idol chuckled forcibly to lighten the mood. “Just a special request. I’d love to come again if no one else disturbs me.”

They all nodded in agreement while you collected the empty plates. While doing so, Taehyung started helping you with it. You glared at him, touching your work. Feeling your anger, he said, “Don’t worry, it’s the least I can do for everything.”

“Sweet boy.” Your lady boss cooed at your helping hand.

“Great work, Hyung.” Kenji gave a thumbs up to the idol, feeling like it was only fair to call him that before the younger walked away from the scene. Taehyung didn’t seem to mind, but that’s only because he was too focused on you, wanting to be near you.

When everyone else left to go do whatever, you piled the dishes up and headed down to the kitchen. But not without Taehyung tailing you behind like a little duckling. You barely acknowledged him when you heard the swing door open twice, realizing he was following the entire time. You placed the dirty dishes into the sink for Kenji to do and Taehyung does the same.

You checked the time from the kitchen clock, discovering that it was closing time. So you brushed passed Taehyung to grab a rag and the mop and bucket to clean up for the day. As you wiped down the used table, you heard the bucket roll. You pivoted your head and saw Taehyung starting to mop for you.

Your right eye twitched at the sight before aggressively informing, “You know you can leave right?”

Taehyung’s eyes went from the floor to your blank expression. He gripped the handle, trying to ease himself from nervousness. You made him agitated with everything he has been doing. It was mainly the fact that he trusted your word when you were younger all the time and you meant well. He still does, but maybe your words were biased against his.

“Uhh, well…I haven’t paid for the meal yet.” He mentioned as he scratched the back of his neck.

You completely forgot about that, so it was on you. You hummed in response before dropping the rag to head down to the cashier behind the counter. Again, Taehyung came behind and waited in front of the countertop. You pounded the keys to his order before the receipt popped out. You ripped it off before putting it in the checkbook and sliding it to him.

After paying with ease, Taehyung then went back to his previous task—mopping. You grew puzzled as you caught up to him. Before he could even reach the mop, you rolled it away from him and hogged it. “I told you, you can leave.”

“Yeah, I can. But I don’t want to.” He countered. He reached out for the mop but you pulled back further. He sighed before he paced towards the rag you dropped on the table to continue to help clean up.

“No! Fucking leave!” You demanded, but he wasn’t listening as he went on wiping the tables. “Hey!”

“Just give up, ___!” Kenji called out from the kitchen, watching his entertainment come up. “We are short staff anyway!”

“What do you mean? For a small restaurant, we just need two! Even Halmeoni said she doesn’t want anymore because she couldn’t even pay no more than us!” You spat back, gaining another headache for the night.

“True, but leave it alone!” Your coworker defended. “Plus free labor!”

“I agree!” Halmeoni butted it, agreeing with her grandson.

You pouted furiously, knowing you were losing. Your temper was through the roof being in the presence of him. Though his face was contented and not in an arrogant way, you were irritated at his kindness.

Nevertheless, you went back to your duties as fast and efficiently as possible to shorten your time here. Taehyung was done way before you and even stacked the chairs on the table for you to mop through. You didn’t thank him but nodded in acknowledgment as he followed where you were mopping to put them up. You did complain that he went over the mopped areas to which he apologized but that was it.

You were finally done for the night, yet Taehyung was still here. You hung your apron on the rack as you bid your farewells to your bosses and Kenji. But when you tried doing so, everyone’s attention went towards the idol as they thanked him for his help and gave more sides and dishes to him as a gift.

you were being ignored, so you decided to leave. You were tired enough as is being awake since the early morning. It’s whatever. Clutching your bag, you sped out of the restaurant and breathed in the outside.

The air wasn’t as fresh but at least it wasn’t suffocating you like the inside. You had a minor migraine from this whole week and you mentally cried that you weren’t going to sleep right away. It was fine. The day was almost over and you could rest once get home.

“___!”

The day wasn’t over yet.

Not wanting to deal with him, you began walking your route to the bus stop. Unfortunately for you, the sounds of fast footsteps pitter-pattered behind. You tried to accelerate but due to his size and long legs, he was able to curve in front of you, halting your movement before you could even bump into him.

“___! Please let’s talk.”

“I’m going home.” You informed and you stepped to the side, but Taehyung seemed like a psychic when he knew which direction you were going. “Leav—”

“How are you, ___? It’s been a while.” Taehyung sincerely wondered as he looked down at you. You never realized how tall he has gotten, but that didn’t matter right now. 

You grind on your teeth with your lips trembling in rage. Was he seriously going to ask you that despite the very last time you genuinely talked to him? You were so frustrated that you asked, “Why are you even here? Aren’t you gonna get into trouble wandering around the streets alone without your army of bodyguards, Mr. Big Shot?”

You spoke so wicked, it was unlike the best friend he had. You were upset with him, yet he did no harm right now.

“We have a break from our group, so no, and I don’t have bodyguards all the time, I don’t wanna talk about that right now,” Taehyung responded carefully and soundly, in contrast to your wrath. “___, I wanted to see you again.”

You laughed incredulously with a touch of ache in your heart. You almost believed him, but then you reminded yourself. “For someone who told me otherwise, it seems a bit much, isn’t it?”

The idol gulped, feeling the guilt consuming him. “I—“

“Save it, Taehyung. We met coincidentally. I didn’t expect to see you anywhere near here but it happened. But we should leave it like that. Goodbye.” You nudged your shoulder through him as you passed by, but he clasped your arm in desperation. 

“B-Blue.”

Your pupils dilated at the sudden use of the childhood nickname he used to call you. The sound of the name coming out of his mouth used to be music to your ears. It brought up unwanted cherished memories that were now in vain. The nickname triggered you, and you fought back the tears that threatened to escape. “Do not fucking call me that!” You tugged back your arm once you finally met his devastated expression. “Leave it as is!”

“But…I don’t wanna leave it like this!” Taehyung raised his voice, attempting to emphasize his begging.

“Well, I want to! Now go to your many friends who are wayyyyy better.” You hurled back. “Go focus on your rich famous lifestyle with your fucking designer brands and leave me alone!”

“___, please don’t be like this.” The idol begged as he stretched out to hold your arm, but you stepped back, refusing to let him touch you.

“Why not?” You yelled. “It’s been almost ten years since you’ve last spoken to me. You don’t know what happened, what I went through, and who I am now. At that time, nothing between me and you. You have your members, fans, friends, family, and your dog.” You pattered as you listed things that he wasn’t expecting you to know, like his dog that he got way after you. Maybe you did know things, yet there were still things he knew nothing about you. “You don’t need me in it and I don’t need you either.”

You decided to end it from there, so you turned your heel and walked your path. When you were at a distance, you heard his gentle voice call out to you. “What if I need you now?” The slight crack in the sound grabbed your attention. You looked over your shoulder and peered at him, seeing tears were now falling down his face.

“What?” Your tone was more tender, as the way, he looked brought a betrayed concern in you, though you still held your angry face.

“I always needed you, but what if I really need you now?” He sniffled as he stepped hesitantly towards you. You weren’t moving away, so he assumed you let him come your way. He wiped the tears away with his hoodie sleeve. “I’m hurting, ___, a-and I don’t know how to deal with it. What if I need you now?”

You sighed, “Taehyung—“

“It’s Hyungie, remember? You’re the first and only one who called me that nickname.” He shook his head. He hated the distance you kept on, it didn't feel right. “Hyungie and Blue!” 

“No!” You protested, trying to stand your ground. “Just because you’re going through some shit now should not make me suffice you for what you did.” You controlled your shaking breath, forcing yourself not to cry in front of him, and it was probably one of the hardest things to do. “You never considered how hurt I was when I lost you in my life, and for good. I lost my best friend that day, the only one that I could truly be myself with, the one who got me out of my shell, the one who made me smile, the one I loved.” You spoke honestly and wholeheartedly while also keeping certain things out because you knew you’d break in front of him. It was for the best anyway. 

You explained further, getting most of your years of reflection out. “It was hard, starting all over. Trusting people is harder to get and receive, but it got better over time.” You semi-lied. You had friends here and there, but never consistent. You never had someone else like Taehyung. As much as it pained you to say, there was none like the friendship and love he had for you. “I was able to move on from all of that, and so can you.” You told him while you watched more tears streak down his reddened cheeks. “The person you need isn’t me now, so if you’re trying to find her, I can’t help you.”

He exhaled, trying his best not to cry so much in front of you. But his emotions got the better of him. “I admit I was an asshole for hurting you and I’ve always regretted it. But when I say I need you now, I want a friendship with you again. Past you, current you, future you, I don’t care! I want to make up for all that we’ve missed!”

“No.” You answered.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

“That’s not a good reason.”

“Why do I need a good reason?” You scoffed, refusing to be swayed. “What happened in the past…”

“I know you don’t like our previous friendship, but why not like one with me now?” He suggested, but you still weren’t moved. Your demeanor remained hard and impenetrable.

“Taehyung, I wanted a friendship with you—I loved our friendship, but you blew it!” You complained as you pinched the bridge of your nose. He wasn’t getting you whatsoever. Was this really someone who you deemed as important in your life? Okay, that was a bit harsh. You didn’t like that. “What makes you think I want one now, knowing what happened before?”

“Like what you said, you’re different and I’m also different too! Please give me a chance.” He reasoned with a plea. He grabbed your shoulders and somehow you let him as your piercing gaze met his glassy eyes. “Please. You can’t punish me for what I did years back. I was stupid and childish!”

“You still are,” You whispered. “And you can’t tell me what to do, so I can. I will punish you for the shit you’ve done to me!”

“Jesus fuck, I forgot how stubborn you are.” He groaned, jaw clenching in irateness. But refused to let it get to him. 

You unexpectedly grabbed his forearms in a gentle matter, surprising him with how you were being. But he thought about it too soon when you hauled his hands away for you even pinching it. He winced in pain, rubbing the sore areas when you spat out. “I’m never giving you a chance.”

He shook his head in denial. “Blue—“

“I will not change my mind. I hate you! Go fuck yourself, Kim Taehyung.” You barked as you felt your cheeks heating up in fury. “Have a nice life.”

With that, you finally left him be. You refused to give in. You didn’t spare a glance back no matter how many times he called you and your nickname. It hurt, but it had to be done. You knew he sobbed as you walked away. But little did he know, on the bus ride home, you too wept your heart out, seeing how broken you both were.

A/N: I understand how stubborn oc is but there’s always a reason. There’s still more to the plot that have yet to be released 🫡 Please let me know any feedback. Your comments are greatly appreciated <3

Tagged: @manuosorioh @kaal-ee

[phantomphangphucker]

Phic Phight - The Little Toaster Who Could, Is An Asshole

@lovelyunknown @princessfanonanona @fangirlwriting-stories @fentoaster @axion-labs @turtlesnails @littlebadger

Toaster powers go! Terrorise the half-dead teen that hates toast! He deserves it! According to Wes at least.

Wes glares at Danny, Danny stares back in unbridled glee.

Wes flips him off, Danny flips him off right back… before doing double finger guns and sticking out his tongue.

Wes slams down the notebook he’d been using in an attempt to ‘write down’ his ‘proof’, not that written shit counted for shit with any of this shit, pointing aggressively at Danny; Danny points at himself too just very mockingly.

“Would you two stop making all my staff laugh? They have jobs to do and you’re half way to me just kicking you out”.

Wes rounds on the manager or owner lady, “but he is dead! He threw eggs at me! Invisible eggs!”.

Danny’s grin from the front doorway is a bit manic, “where would I even get invisible eggs! Huh Wes! Ever think about that one!”.

“Fuck you!”.

“Fuck yourself!”.

“You dated a damn harpy!”.

“Are you saying I unalived my own eggs!”.

“Why are you censoring yourself!”.

“Because you’re a weak little baby boy bitch!”.

“We are the SAME AGE!”.

“Say that to time daddy’s face! I dare you!”.

The owner lady throws her hands up, snapping, “out! Get out!”, at Wes.

Wes looks afronted, because he is, “what? Just me?!”, gesturing at Danny aggressively, “him????”.

She sighs, “he’s not actually inside my store, you are. Out”. She’s thankfully when Wes actually leaves, even if the teen hurls his ‘research’ at the Fenton boy first and runs after the Fenton kid when said Fenton starts sticking the notebook in his mouth and shaking his head back and forth like a feral dog.

There was something very wrong with both of those boys. Something very very wrong. The Fenton boy was definitely not dead though, that would be far too normal for a Fenton so unhinged.

Wes grabs the end of his notebook, Danny does not stop shaking his head though, resulting in Wes’s lanky ass getting flung and smacked around. Danny intentionally makes his mouth frothy for added rabies effect. Making Wes have to shake off, and pull a tooth out of, his notebook once he does successfully rip it out of Danny’s mouth. “Your existence is a crime and affront to god”.

Danny open mouth grins cheerily, “I thought I already established that the day I was reborn into death”.

Wes immediately writes that ‘quote’ down in his book.

Danny stares judgingly, “are you writing all my word weavy bullshit down? Really? That’s kinda sad, man”.

Wes scowls back, “that’s the thirty-second different way you’ve described being dead, one day that will add up and people won’t be able to deny me”.

“You’re gonna be great for my Wikipedia article one day, when you work for me as my maid”.

“Fuck you”.

“It’s still easier for you to fuck yourself you know”.

Wes tackles him, “oh how I wish someone else had to see you and your bullshit!”.

Danny scowls with feeling, slapping Wes a couple of times as they roll around on the ground getting muddy as fuck since it was raining out, “why would you say that! The curs-ed word! Banishment to the sinner! Boo!”.

“BOO YOURSELF!”.

“HOW DARE YOU! THAT’S MY LINE!”.

“YOU STARTED IT, I’LL FINISH IT!”.

“YOU CAN’T FINISH THE EXISTENCE OF A PHRASE YOU DIPSHIT!”.

“JUST LIKE YOU COULDN'T FINISH OFF YOURSELF PROPERLY!”.

Danny snarls, “I’m going to break you like a toothpick”, and pins Wes down using more arms than humanly possible.

Wes wishes he had his camera.

Wes does not have his camera.

At least Danny’s stupid ass ain’t heavy enough to break his ribs. “You weigh less than a bag of potatoes, go ahead and try”.

Now if Wes was a ghost, and thus could just reform a torn off limb, Danny would actually break his arm. But Wes is human and thus can’t do that. Meaning Danny can’t do that to him. Oh the woes of being morally in the right. If Wes were Vlad and a billionaire then Danny’d just burn down his house in recompense. Is he mentally using the word wildly wrong? Mostly likely, shut up Jazz.

Besides, Vlad would take the arson as a compliment and praise him.

Wes huffs, tired, “are you going to clean me off or not?”. Danny smirks and turns the teen intangible, all the muck falling through the teen… as well as all of his clothing except his underwear. Danny running off immediately while sticking his tongue out and cackling; all while Wes is scrambling up off the ground, wadding his re-soaked muddy clothes up, and hurling them after Danny.

They nail Danny in the head, making the stupid half-ghost face-plant into a streetlight. Wes shouting, “HA!”.

But Danny scrambles up himself, grabs the clothing, and holds them above his head, “mine now bitch! THE SPOILS OF WAR BELONG TO THE VICTOR!”.

Leaving Wes huffing, panting, by himself, slowly realizing that now he has to walk home muddy and practically naked… “Zone DAMN IT PHANTOM!”.

Danny, in distance, can be heard shouting, “GET WRECKED!”, by more than a handful of people. Everyone and their mother knowing that means the Fenton and Weston kids had gone at it again.

Danny floats down through the rarely used ‘attic’ grinning to himself, he felt like he accomplished a lot today. Looking around for an empty box, he is absolutely packaging up Wes’s clothes -without washing them- and mailing them through the post back to him. They were gonna be rank when the guy opened it up. Ha! What fun!

Transforming back as he finds a suitable box and some packing tape; dropping the clothing in unceremoniously with a feral grin.

Unfortunately it looks like today’s tomfuckery wasn’t quite done with him, as a voice he’s never heard (he thinks) shouts, “oh what the freshy fruity fuck!”.

Danny jumping up and spinning around, right, fuck, Wes saying a stupid wish. Fucking asshole! He should know better! And of course Danny would have been too distracted tormenting Wes to have noticed his ghost sense going off. Ancients end him entirely.

Thing is though? There’s no one. Like, actually no one, “what the?”. Oh is someone spying on him again? Someone who’s not Vlad?

And whom probably doesn’t have positive-ish motives for it?

That would be his luck after all.

The voice pipes back up again, “how the Hell do I! Me! Find this massive crap out! Are you always so pissy wissy with your shitty shit!”.

Danny starts pushing stuff around to figure out where the Zone the Voice is coming from.

It’s…

It’s a fucking toaster???

A TOASTER?????

The toaster seems disgruntled, the toaster flings itself at Danny’s face.

Danny promptly swats it into a wall.

Why is a toaster talking to him? How is a toaster talking to him? It attacked him! Sure that last part wasn’t super weird since Technus assaulted him with random appliances all the time, but still.

“Oh cool, a wall, as if being a toaster wasn’t hard enough”.

“Why are you talking?! How!”.

The toaster flops from side to side in a weird version of walking at Danny vaguely aggressively, “oh you know, only your happy pappy toasterifying me for the fuckin’ lolly lols or some somersault shit”, it uses its cord to throw a picture frame vaguely in Danny’s direction. Apparently the toaster had some pent up rage.

Fair.

So did Danny.

Danny side steps the picture frame, “and when did he do this? How even? You are like a whole ass person in there?”.

The toaster seems infuriated, slapping its cord around, “of course I am, numbnuts! I wasn’t born as no tinker toy bullshit! Who the fuck would give birth to a toaster!”, the toaster spits toast at him.

Danny is highly offended. He really hates toast.

Like if the universe had created one true evil it would be in the form of toast and only toast. Always toast. “Don’t spit toast at me! You absolute heathen!”.

“I’ll spit what I diddly darn wanna! Fuck you! I’m your upperclassman any ways, Fenton! So deally wheelly!”.

Oh ancients his dad turned one of his classmates into a fucking toaster. A toaster that’s spitting more roasted toast at him likely out of spite. Danny impales a piece into the wall with an ice spear.

The toaster snares, “don’t abuse my creations!”.

“Like Hell I won’t! Fuck toast!”, Danny tries tackling the toaster, it uses its cord to grab on to a lamp and effectively flee from Danny’s would be constrictive grasp. Danny shouting, “do you want to be detoasted or not!”.

“Oh it’s too late for that, you douchey canoey! Your poopy poppy sold that ‘ish to a Cullen Family wannabe actor with rich sauce for flavouring!”

Fucking Vlad! Ancients. Danny swears that, the sometimes vaguely evil, ‘mentor’/‘uncle’ of his gets into more weird shit than Danny did. And Danny’s the one who more or less infected an entire town with death, so that’s a feat and a half. Danny grinning, “I know that cash money bitch, I can take you there if you!”, another piece of toast is fired off, “just!”, more toast spit, “stop!”, again! Toast!, “assaulting!”, more toast, “me!”, you guessed it! Toast, “with!”, annnnnnd TOAST, “toast!”.

The toaster growls, it sounds like the metal shit inside it is clanging around violently, but Danny does manage to tackle it and walk through the attic wall all while holding it at arms length like it’s a bomb.

More than a couple people see the Fenton boy just… walking down the street screaming shrieking practically incoherently at a toaster he’s holding as far away from himself as possible; the toaster is firing toast haphazardly into the air and shaking wildly every so often… as if there’s some kind of demonic possession fuelled conversation going on.

Absolutely no one approaches to ask. And that was only partly because a random construction worker got thrown by the toaster cord at one point.

One person did shout, “watcha got there?!?”, at the teen though. Who had just responded with, “A SMOOTHIE! AN ANGRY TOAST SMOOTHIE!”.

Wes saw a video of it, Wes cackled meanly. He might have had an embarrassing walk home but at least he had a new phone background photo.

Danny hurls the toaster at the door in lieu of knocking, at least his coordination does not suck and he catches the toaster as it bounces back at him. The toaster shrieking, “I will bake you like a crispy spaghetti bolognese!”.

“Are you a fucking toaster or an oven!”.

“I’m a McHeaty McMaddy bitch either way!”.

Vlad opens the door with, “‘Maddie’?”, he is clearly extremely confused.

Danny grumbling, figures, “of course you heard the ‘maddy’ part and no not mom, this thing just speaks like a fucking lunatic”, and practically shoves the toaster at Vlad’s chest, “here, I… I need your help. I have a sentient toaster, that knows I’m vaguely dead-ish, ‘cause I do not look out for fucking toasters when transforming and shit”.

The toaster vibrates against Vlad’s chest and fancy suit, “then you’re a stupidy stopidy bibidy bopidy fool!”. Vlad looks offended.

Fucking good, honestly. Danny huffing and continuing like he hadn’t been interrupted, “and apparently Jack toasterified this toaster that used to not be a toaster and instead be a person, and apparently mailed a ‘Cullen Family actor wannabe with rich sauce for flavouring’ -which must be you- the invention dad did this with because he no longer, and I quote, ‘trusty-wustied him selfie-welfie’. Please tell me you have more tolerance for toaster spit than I do”.

Vlad sighs heavily, it’s both fond and annoyed. The man lets him and the toaster in at least.

Of course then the toaster instantly flees from his grasp. Like a dick.

Both him and Vlad just watch the thing fling itself around the mansion with its cord and ‘feet’. Vlad blinking, “this is somehow the strangest thing I’ve ever had to help you with”.

“I know right?”.

…”why is it a toaster?”, the toaster attempts to toast some of Vlad‘s paperwork, it unfortunately works. “I’ll admit to not believing that odd letter Jack sent about making a teenage toaster, I regret that decision deeply”.

“That’s fair”.

They both have to rush to put out the fire the toaster’s started, Danny shouting, “there is something seriously wrong with you!”.

“I’VE BEEN A TOASTER FOR A YEAR! HOW WOULD YOU FUCKY WHUCKY FEELY ABOUT THAT!”.

Danny nods acceptingly while chasing the thing, “I’d cry”. It’s true. He would.

Vlad actually laughs while helping with the chase, “yes the horror of being something that near exclusively creates your one true hate and fear”.

“Says the alcoholic!”.

“I thought you liked drinking with me?”.

Danny stops and shrugs at the man, “I mean yeah, but you kinda got a bit of an issue that we should probably sort out some day”, eyeing the toaster sucking in one of the portraits Vlad had done of them together. Vlad was going to kill this toaster at this rate, and fuck Danny might let him. “Preferably not now though, Sweet Ancients”.

Vlad hits the toaster with a broom, “bad! No! You spit that out right now!”.

“It’s not a cat, Vlad”.

“Well then it should not behave like one”.

The toaster escapes from the broom, knocking over a fancy glass top table shaped like a jaguar.

Danny grumbling and slipping on some glass, “at least it can’t vomit a painting up like a fucking hairball!”.

“I would absolutely make you clean that up, consider it a lesson on responsibility”.

“I do enough chores at home, Vladdie!”.

“And how many times have I offered to come and help?”.

“And how many times have I told you the labs too dangerous?”. Danny glares at the toaster as it bounces up and down on a fancy keurig, “hey! Leave the superior appliance alone!”. The coffee machine blows up.

“Die coffeefee!”

Oh yeah, fuck this toaster majorly. It spits more toast at Danny as if hearing his mental insult.

Vlad rolls up his sleeves, hands glowing some and stalking ominous after the feral machine. Danny throwing a pillow at him and at the toaster, a couple cat toys going sailing as well; one goes right into the toaster even. “Don’t actually kill it! That’s a person! Unfortunately!”.

“Y’all couldn’t killy billy me even if ya tried anyway!”.

“Do you want to die!”.

Vlad frowns at Danny, “somethings do, in fact, deserve to die. This is one of them”.

“No!”.

Ah say hello to the one thing neither of them can ever actually agree upon. Meanwhile the fucking toaster jingles, cat toy must have had a bell on it then.

Maddie the cat comes out of nowhere and bodily tackles the toaster, batting at it wildly.

She desires her toy. It has her toy. It will now be her toy!

The toaster shrieks and waddles away on its ‘feet’ rapidly, Maddie the cat smacking the ground after it trying to attack its cord, butt wiggling and paws flailing.

Vlad looks incredibly proud, “atta girl, Maddie”. Hell, even Danny’s incredibly proud, what a good cat. Fluffy and ferocious.

Vlad absolutely punts the toaster into the corner of wall mounted oil candle when it tries to shoot Maddie the cat with toast. Snarling, “I will end you”. Unfortunately he’s not quick enough with the ecto-blast to even singe the thing. It was one fast toaster.

Danny putting his hands on his knees and wheezing, toaster assaulting the chandelier, “how, how are we, getting the runaround, by a, by a fucking, toaster?”.

Vlad huffing with his hands on his hips, “when is anything your father messes with easy to resolve?”.

“Never?”.

“That’s what I thought”.

“Fuck, you”.

“I love you too Daniel”.

“Ancients you are, a weird uncle”.

“And you’re a weird godson”.

Which was probably the only reason this mentorship shit even worked at all. Both of them were way too fucking weird. Everything around them was always way too fucking weird.

Case and point?

The toaster managed to unhook the chandelier, which has now crashed down to the ground in a hail of tiny expensive diamonds.

But Maddie the cat is on a mission. A mission that shall not be deterred by any mess or wonton destruction. She bites the toasters cord and flings it around wildly like it’s a mouse she’s playing with.

A mouse she will keep playing with until it dies and stops moving.

She flings it up in the air and catches it by the cord again, regardless of the toaster trying to avoid that. “MAKE THE BATTY’S CATTY STOP!”.

“No”.

“Naw”.

To be fair, it was kind of hilarious. And Vlad and Danny were telekinetically moving anything sharp out of Maddie the cat’s way so she wouldn’t get hurt while she had her fun.

“Maybe I like being a toaster! Ever think about that!”

Both Vlad and Danny give simultaneous deadpanned, “why?”’s.

Maddie the cat flops herself on the toaster body, its cord still in her mouth, as she purrs happily and swishes her tail around lazily. She doesn’t look like she has any intention of releasing the toaster.

So the two halfa’s walk over and stare down at the toaster. The toaster pipes up dejectedly, “okay maybe that was a lie. I am angry and touch starved”.

“Fuckin’ mood”.

“That I can understand, to a degree”.

Danny and Vlad eye each other before both chuckling fondly.

“…help?”.

Maddie the cat purrs loudly.

Vlad smirks down at the thing, “oh I don’t know about that, Maddie looks quite content were she is”.

“I concur”.

Vlad blinks and grins wide, “glad to see your vocabularies improved”.

“You hired me a tutor, how couldn’t it?”.

“Money well spent, then”.

“HELLO! You CUCKY DUCKY’S gonna HELP!”.

Vlad makes a face, “I think you’d benefit from a tutor as well”, straightening his suit, and huffing, “but very well, I suppose”.

Danny chuckling, “I’ll keep an eye on murder mittens and her prey”. More so for Maddie the cat’s well being and not the toaster from Satan’s asshole’s well being.

…

Vlad gets the thing Jack mailed him, he never threw out anything Daniel’s parents sent him, in case he one day needed to use it to prove their neglect to outright abuse in a court of law. Someday CPS was going to have a field day with the case of a lifetime and then some.

Danny glances at the… rubber duck? As Vlad comes back over. “What?”.

Vlad rubs his forehead, “I was confused as well. It actually gets worse, some how”. Vlad bops the things on the head, causing it to inflate into a twenty foot tall rubber duck.

The toaster snarls, “damn you, ducky fucky! Damn you!”.

Danny picks Maddie the cat up off of the toaster while making ‘I’m watching you’ motions with his free hand at the toaster.

The toaster, knowing it’s beat and fearing the cat, does not move.

Vlad picks up the massive duck and drops it on the toaster, it absorbs the toaster and promptly spits a teenager out of its beak. The teenager landing on his back in a crumbled heap.

Danny blinks, “what the fuck dad? I have way too many questions”. The teen coughs up a jingly ball cat toy and Maddie the cat launches herself out of Danny’s arm at the ball as it rolls away; fluffy legs trying to carry her faster than she can go.

The teen stands up, hunched over with his limbs all spread apart like he’s attempting to take a fighting pose while also being extremely grossed out.

Danny blinks, “sooooo, you gonna tell anyone?”. Vlad sighs in exasperation.

The teen slowly looks to Danny, who gives him a hopeful look. “Fucking why? I got turned into a toaster, accosted two deady teddy’s, beat up by a cat, and vomited out of a duck. Ain’t no one believing shit dick all”.

Danny chuckles, “that’s fair. Wes tries but everyone thinks he’s crazy and he ain’t claiming shit that weird”.

The teen raises an eyebrow at him, still having not moved any other part of him a single inch, “ya got another fucker who found out and is now trying to exposey woosey you? Ha! You suck”.

“Fuck you”.

Vlad ruffles Danny’s hair, “and my offer to sue the boy into silence or provide hush money still stands”.

“I’m kinda having fun with it honestly”.

“I’ve noticed, and support you terrorizing him entirely”.

The teen spits out a toast on to the floor, looks down and stares at it, then does it again. More toast flopping onto the floor, “huh. Yeah no. Fuck this shit I’m out”, and waddles back and forth out the front door like he still can’t move his legs.

…

Danny sighs slowly, “dad is so going to have to write an apology letter to that kid”.

Vlad rolls his eyes, “that man couldn’t be bothered to send me a single generic ‘get well soon’ card, you know he won’t do that”.

“Ugh”.

Danny absolutely has to get Jazz to write the apology letter, because Danny’s still to miffed about the toast assault to not come off as incredibly snide. Danny also collects as many toasts from Vlad’s place as he could and promptly dumped them on Wes in his sleep; he also finally mailed the box of muddy clothes.

The teen, meanwhile, absolutely spits toast at Jack the next time he sees the elder Fenton, it is absolutely caught on video. Said teen also turned out to be on the football team, which in typical Casper-high fashion, accepted him back on the team immediately. The Raven’s opponents were not prepared for the feral ex-toaster or his toast-related cruelty. Dash also later high-fived Danny, in the face, with a slice of toast as ‘gift’; Danny bit him without hesitation.

End.

PRompts: Danny's identity is found out in the funniest way possible. "Whatch'a got there?" "A smoothie" An unexpected person finds out Danny’s identity. (By unexpected I mean less his parents or Mr Lancer and more like, Star. Or Aunt Alicia. The more out there the better.) "I..I need your help." BadgerCereal Maybe Danny had been having a bit too much fun taunting Wes and even transforming in front of him. It was definitely coming back to bite him now…To be fair though, no one knew Desiree was right there. Maddie (the cat) saves the day Anything Badger Cereal (Vlad and Danny platonic father/son , mentor/apprentice )