#quotes by Shield

[thewrittenpodcast]

Peter: Grandpa!

Tony: what where

May: you don't have-

Fury, wearing a knitted sweater and scarf: me

Fury: I'm grandpa fury

Tony:

May:

May: I'm not even going to ask how that happened

[likea-black-widow-baby]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as social media quotes series part 39/?

The rest of the series

[celaenaeiln]

Batman: *to the Justice League* This is Robin. He's in my care from now on.

Robin Dick: *emitting light from his smile* hi!

Justice League: Awwww! He's really cute but Batman, are you sure about this?

Batman: I've never been more sure.

JL: okay...

Dick: I'm robin! i'm 8! And you guys are the coolest people ever!!

JL: *melting into a puddle of love*

Hal Jordan: Man, how'd you pop out a kid like this bats?

Dick: He didn't. I adopted him.

Hal: what?

Dick: He's under my care now, all opinions and complaints about his behavior go through me.

Hal: uh. Well in that case, I feel for ya kid because Bats is a-

Dick: denied.

Hal: what?

Dick: your complaint is denied. rejected. unforgiven.

Hal: .....???

Dick: bye.

Batman: *tearing up behind his mask* Best. Decision. Ever.

[fandomnerd9602]

Maria grabs Y/N as they come back from an Avengers assignment…

Maria: you are not doing that again

Y/N: yes ma’am

Maria: I am going to take you back to our bedroom and screw you til you see stars

Y/N: (sarcastic) oh work work work

Maria giggles and pulls Y/N off somewhere private…

[esmerxyaugusta]

[ maria coming back from a mission ]

nat: are you okay? are you hurt?

maria: *shaking her head* but i think i need sleep

nat: what, why? we have a date tonight *pouts*

maria: blood loss

nat: I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INJURED

maria: i mean my period, vagina blood loss

[overusedtoothbrush]

i’ve seen a couple ppl remake the good riddance x-men/fox marvel movies montage with the infinity saga and i had to do it with agents of shield because like the fox marvel movies their futures r unclear (at best). agents of shield means the world to me and i hope they’re chilling in the void

posting here before tik tok cus i’m pretty sure it will flop but i don’t really care i made this for me

[skoulsons]

Remember when Coulson said that he’d never leave Daisy in any universe and when he remembered her in the framework and knew her as Sarge and even as a chronicom with LMD hardware. Two times he wasn’t exactly himself and a third time that it wasn’t even him. He still knew her.

[slavicshadownr]

Phil: Agent Romanoff what are you doing? Natasha: Wrapping Barton’s desk in Saran Wrap. Phil: Uh why? Natasha: He stole my one of my knives. Phil: Couldn’t you have just taken it back? Natasha: I couldn’t find it so I removed all sharp objects from the office so he has to either unwrap it by hand or use my knife. He’s a dumbass so he’ll use my knife which is when I will steal it back and he is left to unwrap it by hand as punishment for stealing my knife in the first place. Phil: That is actually genius. Natasha: Yes. It is.

[poweredbyadhd4life]

Coulson, about Daisy: Kids we're getting someone new in the family.

Fitz: Are we stealing them?

Jemma: New or used?

Coulson: Wonderful responses, both of you.

[elementalladymallorie]

"What's the first thing you do when you wake up from a bad dream?"

"You turn on the light."

Luz Noceda being the light to wake everyone up from the bad dream that Belos brought to the island. And the light glyph helping her every step of the way.

[blueskiesandstarrynights]

Eliot: Get ready for a large file transfer

Hardison: How large?

*a giant filing cabinet falls out of the top window of a multi-story building*

[incorrect-multiverse]

*At some point, probably*

Daisy: If you’re going to make a big dramatic scene, wait til I get back.

Simmons: Of course. I can’t flip this table myself.

[likea-black-widow-baby]

Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. as social media quotes series part 33/? This edition brought to you by @incomingalbatross and contributors!

The rest of the series

[humming-fly]

as expected the fma mobile game event side story that inexplicably features og greed and ling as high schoolers is just as wildly batshit as you'd expect - all these shitposts are all taken nearly Verbatim from the translation shit really was just that funny i still laugh when i think about it

(also in case ya'lld like to see it for yourself i saved all the screenshots and google translations to a zip file here though fair warning they may or may not be in order good luck o7)

[fandomnerd9602]

Y/N, a Deadpool variant, slides up to Daisy…

Y/N: hey gorgeous you seem stressed. what do you say you and me find a quiet place to help you decompress?

Daisy: Pool, you realize the risk right?

Y/N: what risk?

Daisy: if you give me too great of an O, I might kill you with my powers.

Y/N: if I died making you feel like you hit cloud nine, that would be a worthy death!

Daisy rolls her eyes and drags Y/N somewhere a little more private

For @scarletquake-n7

[shieldherostuffs]

The Four Heroes: *Screaming*

The Queen: Sir Iwatani, what's the problem?!

Motoyasu: Hey! Why do you only ask Naofumi when Me, Itsuki, and Ren are also screaming?

Naofumi: Because I only scream when necessary. You guys scream at any given chance.