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angstyandromanticwriting · 3 months

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Margot Robbie X Fem!Reader Angsty, Cute and Fluffy Imagine Prompt

!TW: Mention of previously attempting to commit suicide, implied suffering from depression, hints of separation anxiety + anxiety in general, self put-down(s) + elements of self-doubt, mention of having a poor relationship with family + being previously treated badly by them, swearing, injury detail, mention of wanting to die, implied previous sexual occurrence + sexual occurrence(s) in general, grief + death of a family member, self-harm intentions + self-harming, blood, being unconscious/falling unconscious, mention of previously having a near-death experience - if I’ve missed any, let me know ❤️!

“I’ll probably need something stronger than this,” you mused, after Margot had set down a glass of water on the table located on the other side of your hospital bed, before she sat back down beside it on the opposite side, “you’re planning on questioning me, right?”

“Maybe just a bit,” she answered truthfully, and you would wince, a pained expression on your face; she’d - not too long ago now - found you within your apartment attempting to rather gruesomely take your own life, feeling as if you deserved it to happen that way - and you would begin to feel guilty when you noticed that she still appeared to be somewhat shaken after seeing you the way she had, “just - promise me something, before I start.”

“Anything,” you replied, and she would faintly smile over at you, before intertwining the fingers of her shaky right hand with the somewhat paler fingers of your left one.

“Promise me you won’t lie to me anymore,” she requested, and you would falter, your eyes beginning to glisten a little whilst small tears began to invade them.

“Lie to you-? When have I ever lied to you?” You inquired, and she would frown, wishing you’d not play dumb after what you’d tried to do a few hours ago, now.

“You’ve lied to me every day,” she reminded you, and you would appear guilty again, your heart sinking a little whilst you stared ahead of you with a hurt look on your face; you had only been doing it because you didn’t want her to worry about you; didn’t want to get in her way anymore, “at least once - so you can start by not telling me that you’re okay, when you’re far from okay, because I wanna help you, Y/n; you’re my best friend, and if I lost you, I - I honestly don’t know what I’d do; I-..”

She would then hastily silence herself, before she could say anymore, whilst you were looking over at her again, a longing and hopeful expression on your face which would soon fade away once you’d heard her refer to you as her ‘best friend’, though you weren’t sure why - perhaps it was because you wanted to be more to her, and always had? “You’d be fine without me,” you mustered, whilst staring ahead of you dejectedly again, and allowing your tears - with great reluctance - to stream down your cheeks, “and don’t try and deny it; you don’t need to, because I know it’s true - I mean, look at me.” You would gesture to yourself, with a disdainful look on your face; you’d always hated yourself, and the poor way in which your family had treated you, before, only fuelled that hate you’d always felt.

Margot would frown, a hurt look on her face; she wished you could see yourself the way that she saw you, as she’d always seen you to be what she’d always believed that you were, ever since she’d first met you: perfect. “That’s not true,” she contradicted, “and what about you? You’re amazing, Y/n; perfect - you don’t give yourself enough credit, at all, when you really should, because your family was wrong about you, please tell me you know that.”

You would hesitate, as if you didn’t know, prompting her heart to feel as if it were sinking a little; she hated seeing you like this. “They weren’t wrong, at all,” you murmured, “everything they said about me was true-”

“No, it wasn’t,” she interjected gently, “don’t - don’t ever think that; they were just jealous of you, and of how talented you are.”

You would be surprised, glancing back at her whilst your eyes began to glint a little. “You-.. You actually think I’m talented?” You mused, and Margot would nod hastily without hesitation, whilst she smiled warmly back at you, prompting your heart to skip a beat, as well as to begin to race blissfully alongside her’s; she’d always had that effect on you, and you loved it, but not as much as you loved her, and had ever since you’d both first met at the college you’d both attended together.

“Of course I do,” she answered, “and I’m sure it’s not just me who thinks you are.” You couldn’t help, but allow your smile to grow somehow even more than it already had; she always knew how to cheer you up whenever you felt as if you were verging on breaking down. “Shit,” she murmured, remembering she had a meeting to get to which would be starting soon, “I should-” She would hastily check her watch, whilst you tried to hide your dejection; you hated being alone, and most of all away from her. “Yeah, I should go,” she murmured, a pained expression on her face, before she smiled sadly over at you, and carefully wrapped her arms around you; she didn’t want to leave you alone, either, unbeknownst to you, especially after you’d tried to take your life again, and the reminder would prompt her to falter, and hold you at arm’s length for a moment. “Don’t do anything stupid whilst I’m gone - in fact, promise me you won’t; t-that - that you’ll still be here when I get back,” she requested, her voice briefly trembling whilst she did, and you would nod faintly, whilst finding yourself gradually getting lost in her stunning icy blue eyes, prompting you to begin stammering a little whilst you tried to recover from your racing heart which was currently overwhelming you, and the urge you were trying to fight back to spill out your feelings for her; to lean forward and connect your lips to her’s - something you’d been longing to do for years.

“I’ll still be here when you get back,” you mustered, “I - I promise, but - you don’t have to come back, if you’re too tired, o-or - I dunno.. just - go back home, if you’d rather do that - don’t waste your time on me, especially when you don’t want to-”

“Hey,” she cooed gently, and you would fall quiet, getting lost in her eyes again, “you know I love wasting my time on you, don’t you?”

“I suppose I do,” you answered, and she would grin back at you, amused, “I have no clue why, though, I mean..” Her smile would fade away again, prompting your heart to sink a little; you hated seeing her upset, and wished you could be different, for her. “Don’t worry about it,” you continued timidly, and she would hesitate, wary of the time, before begrudgingly getting up after hugging you once more, “s-see you later, o-or - whenever, really.”

“See you later,” she reassured, before dragging herself out of the room, though she’d rather stay with you, and as soon as she’d gone, you would feel empty again, alongside her, anticipating every passing hour which would eventually lead to you seeing her again, for the best moments you’d ever had always turned out to be the ones that you experienced beside her.

🜚

Once she finally had returned, you would lighten up again, as if you hadn’t been feeling empty, and as if you hadn’t been feeling lost just a moment ago, before she’d walked through the door, and beamed over at you, making your heart begin to race again in the best way possible whilst you smiled shyly back at her, and your eyes glinted alongside her’s whilst she sat beside you again, and leaned over to wrap her arms around you. You would instantly return the hug, melting into her embrace, before you buried your face into her left shoulder, feeling warm and fuzzy all of a sudden. “I missed you,” you blurted out, unable to stop yourself, and Margot would appear flattered, as well as a little flustered, but she would try and hide it whilst she smiled warmly back at you again, resting her head on your left shoulder.

“I missed you, too,” she expressed, “sorry I took so long; I would have tried to leave sooner, but-”

“It’s okay,” you reassured, and she would express relief; she had been worried, and wasn’t sure why, “you’re here, now, and that’s all that matters.”

You would then wince, upon feeling that the thumb of your right hand was stinging a little bit again, and she would appear worried again, noticing that you seemed uncomfortable, and to be in pain. “You okay-? Do you want me to move?” She inquired, and you would shake your head hastily, before appearing embarrassed, blood instantly beginning to rush to your cheeks, prompting her to have to try and fight back a smirk.

“N-No, it’s not you,” you managed, your voice barely audible, and she would tilt her head partially, “it’s just my thumb; I got a paper-cut earlier whilst I was reading.”

She would express relief again, before appearing elated for a moment, as if she’d remembered something, and reaching for her bag. “I think I have band-aids in my purse, if you want one-?” She offered, and you would be surprised, not sure; you didn’t want her to feel as if she had to give you anything, or to try to help you.

“No, it’s okay,” you answered, “you don’t have to do that for me.”

“I know,” she replied, before smiling warmly over at you again, prompting you to forget how to breathe for a moment, “but I want to - show me your hand.” You would nod, before timidly showing her your right hand, and she would carefully apply the band-aid over the paper-cut you’d received, and you couldn’t help, but admire her, prompting you to blush even more prominently than you had, before; you were certain you’d never - for all the years you’d both known one another, and been friends - seen anyone more, or even as beautiful as her; everything about her had always been perfect, and this thought would prompt you to appear dejected again - why was she still here with you, when she was, and had always been everything better than you were? She deserved a better ‘best’ friend than you, for sure, and you knew she’d probably never feel the same way for you, anyway. “You still love staring, don’t you?” She teased, and you would falter, beginning to panic a little whilst you quickly bowed your head, and looked around the room as if you hadn’t been staring at her for a good couple or so minutes. She would then lean a little closer to you, and you would tense up, whilst your heart began to pound overwhelmingly, and you wondered if she could hear it, even finding yourself silently wishing she could. “Any reason why?” She pried, and you would shrug, finding yourself unable to speak, for a moment, and she would try and hide that your action had disheartened her a little. She would then sit back a little, and you would try and hide that you - too - were disappointed and saddened by the new gap between you both. “Your thumb should stop stinging, soon,” she stated, and you would nod gravely, forcing a smile up at her, but it would soon become genuine - all you had to do to prompt a smile to take control of your lips was look at her, and she would smile softly back at you. She would then remember the question she’d been desperate to ask you, ever since she’d found you in the bloody state that you had been, and taken you to the hospital - why? “Hey, um,” she began again, her voice close to a whisper, at first; she was afraid of it trembling, evidently, before she bowed her head a little, and began to fidget with her hands; she was worried about how you might react, and answer the question; worried that she’d been the one to prompt you to do this, though she wasn’t sure why, at first, “can-.. can I ask you something?”

“Of course you can,” you answered, before shyly intertwining the fingers of your left hand with the slightly shaky fingers of her right one, worrying you a little whilst you anticipated what her question might be, “I-.. I owe you a ton of explanations, so - fire away.”

“I just wanted to know - why? Why did you do it?” She managed, her voice briefly trembling whilst she did, and you would frown, beginning to feel guilty again. “If I did something to upset you, I - I’m so sorry, I really am - I didn’t mean it, whatever it was-”

“No,” you mustered, “don’t, Margot-”

“I just feel awful for it - t-tell me what I did and I swear I’ll never do it again; I can’t lose you,” she expressed shakily, fighting back her tears to the best of her ability, without any success, and strained sobs were even threatening to escape her; she was on the verge of breaking down, and you couldn’t help, but hate yourself for what you were doing to her, “I can’t, b-because - because I love you, Y/n, and I can’t do this without you-..” You would appear surprised, and a little in shock; you couldn’t believe it; you couldn’t believe that she - someone who had always been everything compared to the nobody that you believed yourself to be - felt the same way for you, whilst your heart began to pound again, and you felt as if you were drowning in elation, for a moment, until you remembered who you were, and would appear crestfallen again, worrying her even further. “I can’t even begin to imagine my life without you in it,” she continued, “a-and when I saw you lying on the bathroom floor, c-covered in blood, I-.. I really thought.. I really thought that I’d-.. lost you, and I didn’t know what to do; I was terrified, a-and I’ve never felt that way, before.” You would nod gravely, whilst you stared ahead of you, your vision blurred by your invading tears; you just wanted your heart to stop beating; wanted the pain to stop. “I love you, Y/n, and I’d never be able to forgive myself if I hurt you, s-so - tell me what I did,” she begged, and you would bow your head again, staring down at your right hand, and the band-aid on your thumb.

You couldn’t help, but smile, upon noticing it; it was another way in which she had been trying to heal you, and build you back up again, like she had been ever since she’d first met you; she’d still not given up on you. Why? You would then draw in a shaky breath; you couldn’t believe it; you just couldn’t - someone as perfect as her with a nobody like you? No way. “It wasn’t your fault,” you managed barely audibly, and she would hesitate, doubtful, “it’s all me; my stupid head, and thoughts; my stupid heart, wanting someone way out of my league; my stupid, but probably right family-”

“Wait,” she mustered thoughtfully, a hurt look on her face, and you would fall quiet, before timidly glancing over at her, and you would falter again when you noticed the tears that were currently streaming down her cheeks, prompting your heart to sink, “out of your league? Seriously? Y/n-”

“It’s true,” you insisted, whilst she shook her head hastily, “I’m not good enough for you-”

“You are,” she contradicted, “you always have been, and always will be, n-nothing could ever change the way I feel about you, I swear-”

“You deserve better than me,” you managed, “you always have-”

“S-Stop saying stuff like that,” she pleaded, wishing you’d stop putting yourself down like you currently were, but you looked as if you were about to continue, prompting her to lean forward again, and to delicately connect her lips to your’s, resulting in you falling quiet, and instantly melting into the kiss. Once it had sadly ended, and you found yourself wearing a dazed expression on your face whilst she affectionately connected her forehead to your’s, you would revel in the feeling of butterflies fluttering around in your stomach, and the strange warm and fuzzy feeling you were currently experiencing whilst she giggled softly, amused by your reaction, and used her right hand to play with your hair blissfully, making you feel even better, somehow. “I’ve wanted to do that for years,” she admitted, and you couldn’t help, but smirk back at her, whilst your eyes locked with her’s in the best way possible, “e-ever since we went on that trip together - remember it?”

“I could never forget it,” you mused, whilst you began to recall it as if it had happened yesterday, rather than quite a few years ago, now, whilst she buried her face into the crook of your neck, “it was-..”

•

You couldn’t help, but smile whilst visions of you and Margot sneaking away from the group who were currently together throwing a party blissfully invaded your mind, and then you would giggle softly, remembering how you’d both gotten drunk, that night, and went swimming together in the lake you’d both discovered, and you would then recall that the kiss had seemed somewhat familiar to you; it even - once you began to remember this particular night - prompted you to recall how - whenever you’d been longing to kiss her, after that day - it felt almost as if you were missing kissing her, though you’d had no recollection of doing so. You would try and dig deeper into the memory, but it all grew to be a blur once you recalled how you’d both spent some time chasing one another, occasionally splashing each other, before you pretended to drown just to get her to rescue you, which she did without hesitation, cradling you close to her in the water whilst you pretended to splutter a little, burying your face blissfully into her left shoulder whilst she cooed words of encouragement to you, and tried to provide comfort to you by stroking your hair with her free right hand. “You’re okay, now,” she whispered, whilst trying not to giggle; she had thought that your reaction to her wrapping her arms around your waist was funny, as well as adorable, evidently, “don’t worry, Flounder - I’ve got you, and I’m never gonna let you go until you want me to, I promise.”

“No,” you whined barely audibly, “I don’t ever want you to let me go.” You would then appear puzzled, before being forced out of the memory; you had clearly forgotten what had happened, after that, and would wonder if Margot had forgotten, too, but the flustered expression currently residing on her face suggested otherwise; you both had to have done something, that night - you just didn’t know what, yet.

“Wait,” you began nervously, and Margot would lower her gaze a little, evidently flustered again, “that night - did we-?”

“We might have,” she mused, “I mean - we were both drunk, so-.. yeah.”

“I must have been drunker than you, considering I can’t remember - that part, at all,” you remarked, and Margot would smirk over at you, amused by your reaction.

“Are you jealous?” She inquired, and you would appear to be taken off guard, your eyes widening a little, prompting her to giggle. “Don’t worry,” she cooed, before wrapping her arms around you again carefully, “next time - we most likely won’t be as drunk, so you’ll probably remember it happening.” You would then appear flustered, alongside her, but she was doing a better job of hiding it, than you were. “I love you so much,” she whispered, and you couldn’t help, but smile lovingly back at her, before you shyly leaned forward to delicately connect your lips to her’s, “and I always will, no matter what - don’t ever forget that, okay?”

“I love you, too,” you returned, before burying your face blissfully into the crook of her neck, “and it will only ever be you for me, I promise.” You would then notice that she appeared to be a little sleepy, prompting you to feel a little guilty, and as if you’d been keeping her awake. “You look tired,” you pointed out, and Margot would wince, before shaking her head gravely, “if you wanna go back home-”

“No,” she whined, “I wanna stay here, with you - could I.. maybe - sleep on your shoulder, for a little while?”

You would smile warmly over at her, whilst wondering what you’d done to deserve someone as perfect and adorable as her. “Of course you can,” you answered, and she would express relief, as well as elation whilst she rested her head carefully upon your left shoulder whilst trying to avoid where you’d been bandaged up; she didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable, “I was made to serve you, anyway, so you don’t have to ask me next time, silly.” She would appear flustered again, before giggling softly whilst you used your left hand to play with her soft hair blissfully. “H-Hey,” you began again shyly, and she would hum quietly to show she was listening, “I just wanted to say - t-thank you, for everything that you’ve done for me; I probably wouldn’t be here, if it weren’t for you-.. Well.. No, I wouldn’t, b-because.. it was you who saved me.” You couldn’t help, but smile faintly over at her again, whilst blood rushed to your cheeks, and she would smirk when she noticed that you had begun to blush. “You’re too good to me,” you mused, “you always have been, a-and you’ve honestly - ever since I first met you - made my life so much better than it was, before.”

“I’m glad,” she replied, “because you’ve made my life better than it was, before, too, and of course you think I’m too good for you, ‘cause I wanna do everything I possibly can to repay you for making me happier than I was, before.”

“You don’t have to repay me,” you reassured, “you know that, right? You’re already repaying me by being here, a-and somehow loving me, the way I love you - it should be me repaying you, not the other way around.”

“Not at all,” she contradicted gently, “because guess what? You repay me by being here, and loving me, too; I don’t want anything more than that, just you.”

You would appear flustered, for a moment, as well as relieved, and content, wondering what you’d done to deserve a moment as perfect as this; someone as kind, and amazing as she had always been, when you believed she deserved so much better than you, and always had. “You may think that’s true, but - you’re never gonna stop me from spoiling you,” you remarked, and she would lift an eyebrow, whilst smirking over at you again.

“In that case, you’ll never be able to stop me from spoiling you,” she replied, and you would wince, before nodding gravely, and giving in; you knew she’d probably never back down, and you were right, “goodnight, daydreamer.” You would smile softly upon hearing the nickname; she must have just remembered it, after recalling that night you’d both possibly done something together on the college camping trip.

“Goodnight, Boo,” you returned shyly, before resting your head comfortably on top of her’s, and hesitantly letting your eyes close alongside her’s, though you couldn’t stop thinking about how you feared you’d only become even more of a burden on her after she’d saved you, and also feared that you’d only upset her, and couldn’t help, but think that she should still try and find someone better than you, until you finally managed to fall asleep, and avoided nightmares no doubt because of Margot being beside you, making you feel safe, warm, and more content than you had ever been before, filling your mind instead with only dreams of her, and your and her possible upcoming future together.

~-~

Once you’d finally been released from the hospital, Margot would insist that you live with her, evidently worried that she might walk into your apartment one day to find that you had attempted to take your life again; terrified, even, and to try and relax her, you would accept her invitation, and would smile softly when you noticed the relieved, and elated look on her face; she’d been waiting for this moment for a while, now; to finally be able to live with you, and not apart from you like she previously had been, with you staying in your apartment, and she in her own home, and you - unbeknownst to her - had been hoping you’d be able to live with her, too, for a while now alongside her; you hated being away from her, and this was why you often struggled to try and keep composure whilst she wasn’t with you, either alone at home, or out trying to find work for yourself, always unsuccessfully, and it pained you every day to have to tell her that nothing had worked out once she’d returned to you, but she didn’t blame you; she couldn’t; she loved you too much to, like you loved her too much to, too, and didn’t want you to have to worry about how she might react to the failed search.

On another of these occasions, she would return home to find you crying at the kitchen table, with your face buried into your hands whilst you sniffled into them, sobbed softly, and occasionally cursed yourself for being the way that you were. “Y/n-?” She cooed, and you would falter, quickly looking away from her after you’d lowered your hands; you didn’t want to upset her by showing her that you were crying, so you would try and act as if nothing was wrong, hastily wiping your eyes, tear-stained cheeks, though she already knew that you had been crying, and would wear a pained expression on her face; she hated seeing you like this, and just wanted to see you happy again. “Hey,” she continued gently, before rushing up to you, and throwing her arms around you, and you would instantly melt into her embrace, whilst you returned the hug, and buried your face into the crook of her neck, “talk to me - what’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing,” you claimed shakily, your voice close to a whisper, and she would frown, shaking her head gravely, before she held you at arm’s length, wishing you’d stop lying to her, “I’m fine; I’m just tired-”

“Don’t lie, please,” she begged, and her now glistening eyes were begin to plead with your own, whilst you felt your heart beginning to ache; you hated upsetting her, “just tell me; I want to help you - you can’t take on all of this alone, Y/n; you just can’t.”

“I can,” you contradicted, and she would shake her head hastily, “I’ve done it before-”

“Yeah - And you then tried to take your own life, remember?” She reminded you dejectedly, and you would frown, before nodding gravely, and bowing your head. She would then feel guilty, before sitting down on the chair beside the one you were perched upon, allowing her to hold both of your currently trembling hands comfortingly within her’s, prompting you to smile softly up at her whilst your heart began to race blissfully, alongside her’s. “L-Look,” she began again softly, “I just want-.. want to do all I can for you, daydreamer - you know that, right?” You would nod, not sure why she was bothering; you were sick of her wasting her time on you like she was, feeling as if she should just dump you like your family had. “I want you to be happy, again,” she continued, and you would nod again, “I love you, a-and - and you can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

“I know,” you managed, your voice close to a whisper, and she would express relief, glad; she had been worried that maybe you didn’t; that you’d forgotten, “I just.. I.. I don’t wanna get in your way; don’t want to upset you anymore-”

“Hey,” she cooed, “d-don’t - don’t ever think that you’re in my way, because I’m happy to be doing everything that I do for you - more than happy, in fact, and you’ve never upset me, I swear, n-never, except for the times you tried to take your life, but.. other than those times, you’ve never upset me.”

You would be surprised, as well as feeling guilty again, to hear that your suicide attempts had upset her. “But-”

“No,” she interjected gently, “no buts, Y/n; I love you, okay? And nothing will ever change that, I promise - you’ve never done anything wrong; you could never do anything wrong, so don’t ever worry about that - and don’t ever think you have to worry about how I might see you, because you are, and have always been perfect to me, and you always will be.” She would then shyly lean forward a little, and you would begin to feel overwhelmed again in the best way possible, whilst your heart pounded against your rib cage again, and you found yourself struggling to breathe. “Can I-.. kiss you?” She requested, and you would nod, prompting her to beam over at you, her eyes glinting, before she leaned even closer and delicately connected her lips to your’s, and you would instantly melt into the kiss. It would then soon begin to deepen, and she would then wrap her arms around you again, whilst you clung to her shoulders, and as soon as the kiss had sadly ended, you would giggle breathlessly alongside her whilst she connected her forehead to your’s affectionately, and began to stroke your hair with her right hand. “I love you so much,” she whispered, and you would begin to feel warm and fuzzy again.

“I love you, too,” you returned, whilst your heart soared alongside her’s, “I’ve never-.. felt this way before.”

“I’ve never felt this way before, either,” she admitted, “it’s all - new. Wanna know something?”

“Of course,” you answered, and she would appear flustered, for a moment, whilst blood began to rush to her cheeks; she was evidently finding that whatever she was thinking was incredibly cheesy, and she couldn’t help, but giggle again, prompting you to join her; her laugh was blissfully infectious.

“I’m - so glad I met you,” she expressed, “a-and - I honestly don’t know what I’d do, if I’d never spoken to you that day; I can’t imagine my life without you in it, at all, so - promise me something.”

“Anything,” you replied, whilst you shyly lifted your right hand up to her left cheek, prompting her to melt into your touch subconsciously.

“Promise me you’ll never try and-.. y’know.. take your life again,” she mustered, and you would falter, prompting her heart to sink in response to your hesitation.

You would frown, noticing the pained expression on her face, before hastily nodding; you didn’t wanna upset, or worry her again. “I’ll never do it again, I promise,” you reassured, “I love you, Margot - s-so much, and I’m so sorry, I really am - I should never have done it, I know, I just..”

You would then find yourself trying not to cry again, and she would shake her head, before easing you closer to her so she could cradle you, and close the remaining gaps between you both, soothing you instantly. “It’s okay,” she cooed, “don’t worry - I get it, I really do, but I’m gonna try and do more to help you, this time-”

“No,” you whined, “you shouldn’t have to do that for me-”

“I want to,” she reassured, “don’t worry, daydreamer; I’m happy doing what I do for you, remember? And I always will be.” She would then delicately connect her lips to your’s again, and you would smile softly against her lips, before the kiss grew to deepen again, and she would carefully pick you up, finding it a little easier than she had thought it would be, before, as you were a little shorter than her. You would giggle softly, prompting her to join you, evidently amused by your reaction to her carrying you out of the room, and slowly up the stairs to your and her bedroom.

🜸🜚🜸

Though you seemed to be doing well with keeping your promise to her for a couple or so weeks, you found yourself struggling again as soon as you had received a call from your mother to say that your aunt - the family member who you’d been the closest to - had passed away the night before, and you would falter, staring ahead of you for a moment whilst you began to panic; the fact that you’d never see her, or ever be able to talk to her again would hit you like a ton of bricks, and weigh down your heart instantly. You would then hastily end the call, before shakily setting down your phone, and leaning heavily against the kitchen counter; you’d been preparing coffee, after you’d had a relatively sleepless night, but all thoughts of it had instantly slipped from your mind, whilst you breathed heavily; shakily, and tears clouded your vision. You would then find yourself longing for Margot to come back, terrified; you felt so lost, all of a sudden, and as if you could have a heart attack; it was beating so fast - too fast, and you couldn’t calm yourself down, silently begging for her to suddenly walk through the front door, but she wouldn’t be back until later that day, disheartening you as a strained sob managed to escape your lips whilst you doubled over, and began to cry helplessly, unable to hold it back any longer. It was excruciating - knowing that someone who had been so close to you before; one of your best friends, had been there a few days ago, a few years ago, and now they were gone, as if none of the memories made meant anything; weren’t significant in the slightest. You remembered how, after your family had kicked you out, your aunt had offered you a place to stay in her own home, and you often confided in her about many things you’d been too afraid to tell anyone else: about you realising you were a lesbian, about your feelings for Margot not long after you’d met her whilst you both were going to college together, and about how you’d often been considering suicide whenever your depression hit it’s peak again. You would then, whilst you began to feel nauseous, dizzy, and faint, reach for your phone, but you found you couldn’t pick it up, feeling much too numb to do anything, and would give up trying as soon as you began to remind yourself of how Margot would probably be busy, prompting you to feel guilty, and to curse yourself for what you were trying to do; you didn’t want to burden her anymore, and would - whilst you began to doubt yourself again - wonder why she was still with you, especially after you’d still not found any other parts to play, prompting you to grimace, and shake your head gravely whilst you began to feel worthless again, before you dragged yourself out, taking your bag and a razor with you; you didn’t want to do what you were planning on doing within the house, knowing it would feel like you were breaking the promise you’d made to her if you did, and you couldn’t do that; you’d never forgive yourself if you tried, and that would only make things worse than they already had gotten in the matter of a few brief, and painful moments.

🜚

You had - after leaving a few cuts along your arms within one of the bathroom stalls of the closest bars to the house - briefly passed out, and would be surprised to wake up within an intensely bright room, and once your vision began to clear, you would realise that you were most definitely within one of the rooms of a hospital, and you would groan, guessing someone must have begun to worry about you, and gotten someone to break into the stall to get you out, and to a hospital as soon as they noticed the blood stains on your sleeves.

You would then find yourself aware of a buzzing sound to your left, and you would manage - barely - to turn your head in that direction, though you felt quite weak, and still quite numb after everything that had happened, only to find that it was your phone, and you would falter when you realised that Margot was calling you; she must have returned home to find you no longer there, and begun to worry; you’d promised her you would be there once she had got back, and evidently weren’t, prompting you to feel guilty, especially when you looked down at your bandaged arms, and were reminded of what you had done. You would then test your left arm by moving it a bit, and you would wince; it stung a little, but you would manage to fight the pain back enough for you to reach your phone, accept the call, and hold it up to your left ear; you couldn’t allow yourself not to answer, and not to try and reassure her that everything was okay; that she didn’t have to worry, and that you’d be back home soon. “Y/n-!” She chimed, as soon as you’d finally answered the call; she must have been trying to reach you for a while now, and you would frown, a pained expression on your face; you were sick of worrying her, and upsetting her all the time, and wished she’d just give up on you, and find someone better than you, though you knew it would hurt excruciatingly to lose her, after everything you’d both been through together, and everything you’d been dreaming of possibly happening for you both, like possibly getting married - something you’d dreamt of for years, ever since you’d first met her. “Thank God,” she mustered, her voice briefly trembling, and close to a whisper, prompting tears to invade your eyes again, “I thought-.. are you okay? W-Where are you?”

You would think about what you had been planning on telling her, but would instantly crumble; you couldn’t lie to her anymore; it would break you, and you were certain you couldn’t take anymore pain, or guilt; you couldn’t hurt her, or worry her anymore than you evidently already had. “I’m in the hospital,” you admitted, and she would falter, a pained expression on her face whilst she began to imagine the worst; that you must have tried to take your life again, though you’d promised her you wouldn’t, or that someone had hurt you, somehow, if you did end up going out, for a bit, like you had told her that you might.

“The hospital? W-Why? Hang on, I’m on my way-”

“No-!” You cried, feebly, and she would hesitate, falling quiet. “I - I’m okay, Margot, I swear,” you claimed, but she would appear doubtful, “they’re gonna let me go, soon, I promise; I just saw a fight, and - you know what I’m like - the sight of blood makes me pass out, a-and-.. when I woke up, I was suddenly - well, here; someone must have brought me here after I blacked out, but don’t worry - I’ll be back home soon, and I’m in perfect condition, last time I checked.”

There would be silence, for a moment, and it was painful, especially after you heard her sniffling faintly, prompting your heart to sink; she knew you were lying, unbeknownst to you, but she didn’t want to question you - not yet; she’d wait, until she got to you. “You promise?” She inquired, and you would nod subconsciously.

“I promise,” you answered, “s-see you in a bit.”

She would hesitate, not wanting to hang up, yet, but she would remind herself that she’d be seeing you soon, once the call was over, and she’d begun her journey to the hospital. “See you,” she returned, before forcing herself to end the call, and hastily grabbing her coat, before she rushed out to her car, whilst you stared tearfully up at the ceiling, your phone laying upon your lap; you could never deserve someone as good as her, you reminded yourself, and your heart would ache even more excruciatingly than it had, before, but you would try not to cry again, no matter how much the tears fought to escape; you believed you deserved the pain, and never the release of it - not anymore.

🜚

Once the doctors had finally decided that you could leave, after they’d examined you, and given you some advice you believed to be pointless, you would hastily walk toward the entrance, and falter when you noticed Margot just coming through the door, when she noticed you. “Oh, hey-!” You mustered, and Margot wouldn’t waste another second, rushing up to you. “You’re here-” She would then throw her arms around you, and you would instantly melt into her embrace whilst you relaxed, and returned the hug.

“Of course I am,” she cooed shakily, and you would frown, guessing that she was trying not to cry again, prompting you to hold her at arm’s length, and you would feel your heart sinking, whilst you began to feel guilty again upon noticing the tears that were currently running down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry,” you whined, a pained expression on your face, and she would wince, hastily wiping away her tears with her right hand, “I hate it when you cry; seeing you cry always makes me wanna cry, and me crying is far from pretty.”

She couldn’t help, but giggle faintly, before shaking her head a little. “That’s far from true,” she contradicted, and you would be surprised, “you’re always pretty, Y/n, even when you’re crying.”

“Really-?” You inquired, and she would nod hastily, evidently certain of herself that you were.

“No doubt about it,” she insisted, before carefully wrapping her arms around your waist, and you would smile lovingly over at her, before affectionately connecting your forehead to her’s, “so-.. this - fight - that you saw - where was it?” She couldn’t help, but think about what your method might have been to try and take your life, this time, and it would prompt her heart to ache excruciatingly again whilst she thought back to the night she’d found you close to death in your apartment, the first time.

•

“No,” she cooed shakily, whilst she relocated your left hand back up to the wound you’d made on your left side, and you would groan, shaking your head; you didn’t want her to help you, after everything you’d done; you believed she would be better off without you, and that - if she let you go - she wouldn’t be held back by you anymore, “just keep pressure on it, okay? The ambulance will be here soon, and they’ll make sure you’re good as new again-”

“Why are you doing this?” You questioned, your voice barely audible, and quite weak, prompting her heart to sink; she was terrified of losing you, and had been harbouring feelings for you for years, now, like you had for her ever since you’d first met her, unbeknownst to her.

“Because-.. I just - I can’t let you die, Y/n,” she answered, a hurt look on her face, and you would appear a little dejected, “why - why are you even asking me something like that? You’re my best friend; everything to me, a-and I honestly can’t imagine my life without you in it, so - please don’t move your hand, j-just for now; you’ve already lost too much blood, and can’t afford to lose anymore.” You would nod gravely, finding yourself stuck on the fact that she’d referred to you as her ‘best friend’, though you weren’t sure why, when you knew that that was probably all you’d ever end up being, to her. You would then wince, hearing the sirens of the ambulance approaching, whilst Margot expressed relief, evidently glad. “You’re gonna be okay, now,” she cooed, carefully cradling you close to her, and you would nod gravely, whilst melting into her embrace, and managing a soft smile; you felt safe within her hold, and as if you weren’t in excruciating pain anymore, “feel like you can stand up with me, or?” You would appear nervous, before nodding, and she would carefully help you to your feet, but you would soon appear unstable again, prompting her to lift you off of the ground, and carry you out of your apartment as fast as she could herself, to make things easier, and to get you out to the ambulance faster; she couldn’t let you lose anymore blood than you already had; couldn’t lose you, and luckily - she would manage to get you to it just in time, before you could fall unconscious, and possibly never wake up again.

“Where-?” You mused, your voice close to a whisper, and she would nod, whilst you tried not to panic, trying to think of something you could say; you were terrified of her finding out about what you did; that you’d left a few cuts along both of your arms, and not seen a fight, at all. “Just - o-outside,” you mustered, and Margot would frown, shaking her head gravely, wishing you’d just admit that you’d lied again, and had tried to take your life.

“Y/n-”

“I was - was going to go to the shops, a-and-”

“Stop, daydreamer,” she interjected gently, and you would falter, whilst tears began to invade your eyes, and your heart began to ache, “I know you’re lying to me, just-.. tell me what happened, please - why? Why would you try and do that, again?”

You would hesitate, before nodding gravely, knowing you couldn’t try and lie again. “My aunt,” you answered dejectedly, your voice close to a whisper, and Margot would tilt her head partially, appearing worried, “she’s-.. she’s gone.. my mother called me to tell me that it happened last night.”

Margot would realise, and begin to feel guilty instantly for trying to question you whilst she eased you closer to her, and began to stroke your hair with her right hand to try and provide comfort to you. “I’m so sorry,” she expressed, “that’s horrible - w-why didn’t you call me? I would’ve come straight back home.”

“I thought about it, but-..” You began again, whilst Margot affectionately connected her forehead to your’s again. “I don’t know,” you murmured, “I felt so-.. lost, and empty - after it happened, and I didn’t wanna burden, or upset you, too, s-so instead.. I guess I just.. decided to.. punish myself, for even thinking about getting you involved, and getting in your way again.”

She would frown, whilst a pained expression crossed her face, and her eyes began to fill with tears again. “You wouldn’t have gotten in my way by calling me, and telling me what happened, Y/n,” she contradicted, “I would have wanted to know so I could be there for you, a-and don’t think that me choosing to do that for you is me being burdened by you, because I never could be; I love you, Y/n - I love you, okay? And I want to do everything I do, for you; want to do everything I can to make you happy, and comfortable; and to give you the treatment that you do deserve, and somehow never got, except from me and-.. sorry.”

You would shake your head, managing a faint smile over at her, before you buried your face into the crook of her neck, and clung to her shoulders blissfully. “I miss her so much,” you managed, your voice barely audible, and Margot would nod gravely, whilst rubbing your back with her right hand to try and soothe you, “she was the only one out of them that I could really talk to, and.. it was just such a shock.. I’m sorry, Margot; I’ll never do it again; I can’t scare you like that again.”

“Promise-?” She requested, and you would nod, trying to fight back any hesitation.

“I promise I’ll never try and hurt myself, o-or try to commit suicide, again,” you replied, “not when I have someone as good as you by my side; my all-time best friend, a-as well as - the - the most beautiful and perfect woman in the world.”

She would appear flustered, her eyes glinting a little whilst blood rushed to her cheeks, and a smile would begin to play on her lips instantly. “Most beautiful and perfect? Are you sure you don’t mean yourself?” She inquired, and you would shake your head. “Well, I think that it’s you who is the most beautiful, and the most perfect, daydreamer,” she cooed, before shyly leaning a little closer so her lips were inches from your’s, and you would find yourself longingly glancing down at them occasionally, whilst your heart began to race blissfully alongside her’s, “I love you so much.” She would then delicately connect her lips to your’s, before you could protest and insist that it was her who was the most beautiful and perfect again, and you would instantly melt into the kiss alongside her, soon beginning to feel warm and fuzzy, and as if everything would be okay again. The kiss would sadly end when your stomach decided to rumble, embarrassing you, and prompting you to hide your face from her, whilst Margot smirked over at you, and tried to fight back a giggle. “You should probably eat something,” she suggested, and you would wince, before nodding timidly in agreement, “c’mon - I’ll drive you back, and make you something-”

“No,” you whined, “you don’t have to do that for me; I can make something-”

“I’m not changing my mind,” she stated, and you would groan, shaking your head; you didn’t want her to feel as if she had to do that for you, but you knew she was right; she would probably never change her mind.

“Fine,” you begrudgingly gave in, and she would beam victoriously over at you, evidently glad that you’d given in, “but I’ll only let you do it for me this one time - every other time it’s gonna be me making something for you.”

“We’ll see,” she replied, smirking over at you again, before she intertwined the fingers of her right hand blissfully with the fingers of your left one, silencing you before you could protest, and even prompting you to forget how to breathe for a moment, “come on, daydreamer, before it starts raining - the clouds are so grey today, and I can’t let my princess get a cold.” You would nod hastily, after being broken out of your brief trance of admiring her again, and finding yourself flustered by her remark, prompting you to forget both how to breathe again, and how to talk for a moment, before you followed her out of the hospital, and out to her car so she could drive you both back home, and attempt to nurse you back to health again mentally and physically, to the best of her ability; she was determined to make you happy again, no matter how long it might take for her to do so.

~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed it! ❤️

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pricetheghost0 · 2 years

Text

⚠️MAJOR TW⚠️

Self harm (pretty gorey), suicide, abuse, sexual assault (implied but no detail), panic attacks (no detail really)

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This is a vent for me. This might be shitty but idc. I just needed to feel better.

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Words: almost 6k 😅🤠🫠

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Aizawa x Mic x Shinso x Eri x y/n (family)

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Y/n is abused by her parents and has to move into the dorms after villain attacks. She self harms but goes to far after remembering how bad her parents abused her. Aizawa finds her in her dorm and saves her. He adopts her into his family. Too bad she couldn’t take it anymore.

————————————————————————

Aizawa pov

Honestly… y/n is pretty special. Her quirk is good but her personality… used to be special, enchanting even. She was calming and kind.

Her quirk is called assassin. She can vanish into thin air. She is also super agile.

The reason her personality “used to be” anything is because she changed. She hid it well but I noticed. It wasn’t immediate. That would have been impossible. But after all the villain attacks and moving into the dorms it must’ve taken a toll on her.

I already knew something was up when her parents didn’t care if she moved to the dorms or not. She kept drinking whisky and brushing me off saying “kidnap her, enslave her, whatever I don’t care now get out and take that useless thing with you. She also makes for a good plaything~.” Her dad said with a wink.

It sent shivers of disgust down my spine. What father could think of their child like that.

Y/n pov

I hated the attacks. I hated that I wasn’t good enough. I hated that I couldn’t help Aizawa more. He was like a father figure even if I hadn’t known him for long.

I sat in class but it was hard to act as I always did. It was getting harder to wake up everyday. I would go back to my dorm everyday just to find my best friend in the drawer of my desk. That cold metal I rely on. My upper arms and hips were covered in old and new wounds. They were the easiest places to hide my scars.

I've been self harming since middle school. It’s probably already been 3 years. I was running out of space, and fast.

Time skip to class~

I walked into the classroom only to be greeted by Mina. She is my best friend but I started to get annoyed by her pushy personality. That kinda made me feel guilty.

“Hey! How ya doing?” Mina said loudly.

“I’m good! How about you?” I said with a huge fake smile plastered on my face.

“Goooood” she said, spinning around.

“SHUT THE HELL UP! IT'S TOO DAMN EARLY FOR THIS!” Bakugo shrieked.

“Tch” Mina sat down next to me.

Time skip….

3rd pov

You all went to lunch. Well… all accept you. You aren’t hungry anymore. Class is getting harder too. It makes you feel kinda stupid. Now you have a hunger for your blade.

“Maybe just a little” you say as you lock your door and grab your blade. You search for a place to slice like a goddamn cutting board.

“I mean… I already wore long sleeves knowing this day would come. Haha those dumbasses believe it’s better for my quirk.” You laugh to yourself.

You roll up your sleeve and position your blade. You slice and slice. Your skin screaming with pain telling you to stop. You could feel anything anymore. 1,2,3… you lose count. You grab a towel to catch the already rotting blood flowing from your forearm.

*knock*knock*knock*

“Y/nnnnnn” it’s Mina.

“Yeah” you say with a smile in your voice as you panic trying to stop the bleeding and roll down your sleeve.

“Aizawa needs you,” she says.

“Alright I’ll be out in a sec” you say putting the blade away.

You walk out and go to Aizawa classroom. For once he isn’t sleeping. Instead, he is standing and waiting for you.

“You wanted to talk to me?” I say with a smile.

“Are you doing alright?” He asks with a concerned face.

“Yeah why?” You say keeping your smile while internally screaming.

“You seem off. Not to mention your parents being the way they are.” Aizawa looked dead into your eyes.

Your smile dropped and you told him about the abuse. They hit you and broke bottles to slice you with. They starved you and made you pay for food and bills. Your father assaulted you and your mother sold you to different men so she could buy alcohol.

You told him everything except the toll it took on you. The fact that when people yelled, like Bakugo, you shook a little. The fact that you wanted to die and you self harmed. You didn’t even tell him about the full mental breakdown you had behind a rock in the USJ accident.

He sighs and thinks about what to say.

“Would you like to lock them away?” Aizawas eyes begged for the truth.

“Yes. To be honest I would hope they rot in jail.” You said with hatred piercing through the air.

Aizawa was a little shocked by the aggression coming from such a calm student but he felt the same. “Can I talk to Principal Nezu and the authorities about this then?”

“Yes.” You couldn’t stop thinking about the horrible things your parents did. As you walked to your next class you felt sick. Just the thought of your parents was enough to drive you mad.

“Mic…” you said, holding your stomach.

“Yes?” He then noticed how rough you looked. “You alright young listener?”

“I feel really sick. Can I go to my room to rest?” At this point you almost throw up. Flashbacks won’t stop playing in your head.

“Hey kid, you don’t look so-“ you pass out right in front of the poor guy. He panics and sends iida to get recovery girl.

Time skip—

Y/n pov

I slowly opened my eyes only to see Aizawa panda Principal Nezu talking to recovery girl. I can’t hear what they are saying but they stop when they notice I’m awake.

“How are you feeling hun” recovery girl has a concerned facial expression.

“Like I got hit by a truck.” I say running my fingers through my hair.

“You seem to have fainted due to shock.” Recovery girl said. Aizawa looked guilty.

“Aizawa, it’s fine. I had to say it at some point. Are they at least going to be locked up?” I drink some water.

“I’m still sorry y/n. I didn’t mean to push you and yes they will be locked away.” Aizawa choked back tears.

“Thank you.” A real and small smile showed on my face.

*******

You ran back to your dorm. You needed more from that blade. You haven’t gone past styro. Most of the time you did little cat scratches though. This time you had enough. You locked the door, grabbed your blade, and then sat in the corner. The memories of your parents and the embarrassment of passing out was too much.

You began slicing your upper arms and forearms. Each cut was deeper than the last. First it was cat scratches since you were afraid of what you could do in this state of mind. Then you slowly gave in and did styros. This pissed you off.

“Is that it? Is this all I can do?” You thought as you completely snapped.

All of a sudden you heard a louder slit sound from the blade ripping through your skin. You looked at your forearm only to see a deep cut showing the fat layer.

It throbbed. Pain was shooting into your head and you were bleeding… a lot. You panicked and that made it bleed more. You were scared. You pushed a towel on it to stop the bleeding.

*knock*knock*knock*

Shit.

What do I do now?

Fuckkkk.

——————

Aizawa watched as you left. He saw something in your eyes he knew about. When he was younger he self harmed. He knew the blood lust he felt all those years ago. He saw the exact same bloodlust in your eyes. Nezu talked to him as he was slowly losing patience. Aizawa knew he needed to get to you and fast. Before you did something dangerous. He finally lost it.

“The police will need your statement. They will be here in-“ Nezu was silenced.

“Ok ok ok I need to go. It’s important. I’ll be with y/n so you can send them to her dorm if they won’t already be there.” Aizawa panicked.

“Why would the police-“ Nezu couldn’t finish because Aizawa had already left running down the hall. That brings us to the present.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Aizawa pov

When I knocked on her door I heard sniffles and shuffling. I also heard some mumbling that I could make out. Did she do what I thought she would do? Is it as bad as I thought? Is she ok?!

“Y/n please open the door.” I know a few more times.

You heard Aizawa's concerned voice. All you could do was feel guilty. You made this teacher, who already had to deal with the press and paperwork from the attacks, sorry about you. At the same time you were almost glad he came. You couldn’t manage to speak. Hell, you were about to pass out due to blood loss.

I hear the door unlock and a thud. At that moment I knew for a fact that she had passed out. I opened the door slowly to make sure I wouldn’t hit her. I then saw her as I looked at the floor. I immediately called for an ambulance.

I put the phone on speaker and dropped my phone and my knees to the floor. She hit an artery.

“FUCK” I couldn’t hold my tears in. This drew the other students' attention. Thank god for Iida who gave me and y/n some space as I held a half soaked towel to her arm. There were whispers making it obvious no one knew about her “habit”. Scars both new and old were on display for these poor students to see. A few people were crying on the floor. A few people were too shocked to feel any kind of emotions. Others comforted the ones on the floor even though they were crying too.

The ambulance quickly came and it was easy to find out where they should go since they saw the group of crying students at the door ready to lead them to another group of stunned and crying students.

I rode in the ambulance with y/n. I couldn’t hear the emts muffled questions through my own questions.

Why didn’t I notice sooner?

Why did I not run after you sooner?

My thoughts immediately stopped as we got to the hospital. They took you away from me. I had unconsciously thought of you as my own daughter. You were the person I felt the most comforted by. We had a similar story.

My heart shattered more as more time passed. I needed a sign. I needed a doctor to walk out of those doors and say everything was going to be ok.

I heard a door open and I weakly looked up. The door had opened countless times and still no news. All of class 1a walked through the door. Their faces were red and puffy but they calmed down a little more. They all sat down waiting. For once this class of cheery, optimistic hero’s was quiet. They were too stunned to speak.

Nezu walked through the door. I was too drained to greet him. He walked right up to me. Midnight, mic, and all might were talking to all the other students. They wanted to make sure we were all fine. Mic wanted to talk to me but he was on the verge of tears already. If he saw me, his husband, this broken he would lose it.

3rd pov

“Is this what you meant? Did you know this would happen?” Nezu asked with a serious tone.

“Yes. I had a feeling when I saw the bloodlust, all so familiar to me, in her eyes.” I could hear mic choking back sobs from the other side of the room. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He had helped me through a lot and never thought y/n would be the same.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” Nezu sat down next to Aizawa. Now there were 25 people waiting for the news that you were fine.

After another silent half an hour the doctor walked through the big metal doors. It had been 3 hours of waiting and finally you got to hear the news.

“Who’s here for y/n” the doctor said, a little shocked by how many people were in the waiting room on a slow night. (Never say it’s slow in a hospital)

Everyone jumped up looking at the doctor with eyes that were pleading to know if you were ok.

“We all are sir,” Aizawa said.

“O-oh sorry. Well I came to inform you that y/n is all stitched up and will make a great recovery. She might need physical therapy but we won’t know until she wakes up. She lost a lot of blood so we thank you sir for donating some of yours.” The doctor looked at Aizawa. Of course he would help his student. Especially since he thought of her as his own daughter.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief. It was like those words were the reason we could breathe again. We all had tears. Some were sobbing.

“W-when can we s-see her” Mina said through her sobs.

“Only one person can see her at a time and only two should visit her tonight. Like I stated earlier, she is asleep and it’s best for her to stay that way.” The doctor said calmly.

The group decided Aizawa and Mina should go. After all, Mina is your best friend and Aizawa is the one who found you.

Mina walked with the doctor and was left alone after being greeted by an officer who was guarding y/n from herself. She stood outside of the door. She was heartbroken by the fact that she had to guard a girl the same age as her daughter from herself. She was happy to see that a huge group of people came to see you.

Mina cried and asked your sleeping body why you would do such a thing. She talked about how everyone reacted and left after telling you to wake up and be ready for a fresh new start.

Aizawa greeted the officer and then walked into your room. He cried and told you about himself and his journey through mental illness. Little did he know, you heard everything. It took everything in you to not cry in his arms. You didn’t want to overstep your boundaries because you didn’t want to possibly make him upset.

Once he walked out of the room the police officer walked in. She saw that you were awake and sitting up while you held your head because it was throbbing.

“Hey, how ya feeling hun?” She said sweetly while taking the chair next to you.

“Everything hurts,” you said weakly. “Am I in trouble?”

“No sweetheart.” The officer giggled a little. “I’m Hana Shiozaki. I’m here to keep you company. We want to make sure you're doing ok.”

“Like Ibara Shiozaki?”

“Yes. She is my daughter!” She said cheerfully.

You stayed up for hours talking about UA and the attacks and everything else. You got so comfortable with her that you were able to talk to her about the abuse you endured without feeling as upset as you were earlier. She felt as safe as Aizawa but this time you were ready to talk about it.

Shiozaki cried and held you as you told her about the abuse. You cried in her arms and fell asleep. She lashed you down and after an hour she switched with another officer so she could go home and come back in the morning.

“””””””””””””””

Y/n pov

I wake up low key forgetting where I am. Shiozaki walks into the room looking tired. I feel kinda bad for her because she has to watch over me.

Thoughts swarm my mind. “Burden” “disgusting” “waste of time” “you should add more scars” “you’ll be fine since your in a hospital”

Shiozaki notices your panicked look. She walks over to you calmly.

“Good morning y/n” she smiles.

“Good morning” I yawn.

“What’s going on inside your pretty little head? You seem upset” she has a worried expression.

“Nothing much haha” I can’t help but laugh nervously.

“You can tell me what’s bothering you. I want to help. I’m sure the man standing outside of the door would also like to know.” She says while stroking your hair.

“Huh? What man?” I shook a little thinking it was my dad or something.

Aizawa walks through the door. He kneels by your hospital bed and puts your hand up to his forehead. He starts to tear up.

“Y/n… please… why” his mind spirals and you start to cry holding his and Shiozakis hands.

“Do you really want to know? It’s so dark and sad. It’s not fun to listen to.” You say trying to keep yourself together.

They both nod and you take a deep breath. Shiozaki brings Aizawa a chair and you start to talk. They were ready for the worst. They knew this wouldn’t be some measly boy trouble or friend group drama.

“Sometimes I sit there and think. It’s so hard to live a life where your own parents aren’t there to care for you but to kill you. I’m pretty much a slave. I’m like a sex doll and a punching bag. I’m an expensive 2 for 1 deal. I guess I’m not that expensive since they only spend money on themselves and I get the leftovers.” You bitterly smile at your own sick joke.

“It’s so painful waking up everyday wishing that you hadn’t. It’s so painful to lose all the feeling left. It’s not painful anymore to dig sharp metal into your own flesh. It’s not painful anymore to have a man violate me. It’s not painful anymore to be strangled” your vision gets blurry from tears. You start to shake like a mini earthquake and then your vision gets darker out of pure rage.

At this point both adults don’t know what they are feeling. They are so blindsighted by rage and sorrow and pity that they are lost. They are crying softly to themselves. They let you continue so you can get these emotions off your chest.

“I’m covered in scars. I made most of them but some of them are from when men ‘had too much fun’ with me.” Aizawa gritted his teeth. He was so mad that someone so young had to deal with this.

“Another few scars were from my failures. My mother threw a knife at me when I burnt her burger. My dad threw a bottle at me. It smashed against my back and the glass cut me. The alcohol still in it burned the cuts as it trickled down. He did it because I wasn’t mopping fast enough. He blamed the wasted alcohol on me and I had to clean the house while doing a handstand for hours.” You bitterly laughed at how ridiculous you sounded.

“The cuts all over me sting every now and then as a reminder. It helped me in a sick way. It helped me stay in my head so I wouldn’t say anything I would later regret. If I replied with anything other than ‘no sir’, ‘yes sir’, ‘no ma’am’, or ‘yes ma’am’, implying I had an opinion of my own, they would punish me. That could mean a whole other world of things. This could mean I would have to sleep out on the back porch nude in the winter or sunbathe on a secluded part of the roof nude in the summer until I burnt. My parents actually encouraged my self harming. They praised it and said I deserved it. They even bought sharp knives for me to ‘try out’” I cried and all of a sudden the heart monitor which had once been stable started to go off.

You were having a flashback. You weren’t in the hospital anymore. You were back at your house. Back before you ever went to UA. Your mother locked you in a room with some unknown ugly looking man. You knew exactly what was happening. He was going to play with you. You waited for your impending doom and all of a sudden you were pulled out of the memory.

Aizawa was there hugging you as the heart monitor calmed down. The hospital's social worker used his quirk to stop the memory and force you back into reality. This causes you to want to sleep. It was exhausting. The worst part was that the therapist had to see what your memory was to bring you out of it. Shiozaki looked to see the therapist shaking. He could feel that you were used to this. He could feel the pain you were feeling. This all added up and he fell to the floor. He was new and wasn’t used to this awful sight and feeling.

Shiozaki took the therapist away and Aizawa stayed with you while calming you down. He eventually laid you down and hummed you a lullaby until you fell asleep. He stared at your puffy eyes and wiped your tears away. He left the room and saw your classmates. He told them it wasn’t a good time and that you needed rest. They all tried to argue but gave up and went to the dorms once Aizawa snapped and told them to leave.

Aizawa didn’t mean to snap. He was just so angry that you were in this state. He was angry that your memories even made the poor therapist cry. He knew what he should do and called Mic.

“Helloooooo” Mic screamed into the phone. “How’s our little y/n?”

“Please don’t yell.” Aizawa sighed. “Can you come down here. I wanna ask you something in person.”

“Alright I’ll be right down!” He said cheerfully. He was just glad to hear his husband's voice after being so quiet yesterday.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Present mic pov

I got to the hospital. I never liked being here. It was so sad and I have to remember Shota being here because he tried to overdose. It sends a shiver down my spine every time.

I turn the corner to see Shota, an officer, and a therapist. They all had puffy eyes. This isn’t good.

“What happened?” I try to speak quietly.

“Looks like she’s got some pretty awful trauma. She had to be pulled out of a flashback which was bad enough to make this young man cry.” Shota said with his typical tired voice with an added sniffle. My heart drops. I can’t believe things could be so bad.

“I was talking to this lovely officer about how we could help. This is where I wish to talk to you.” Shota grabs my hand and pulls me to the side. “I was thinking… What if we adopted her? Of course we will have to talk to Shinso but I think it would be a good idea. Her parents are getting arrested as we speak and I already think of her as my own daughter.”

“I’m fine with it as long as Shinso and y/n agree.” I am glad he thinks the same way I do.

Dunno the pov anymore

Once you wake up, mic and Aizawa talk to you about your parents being found and arrested as well as the men who assaulted you. They then continue to ask how you are feeling and ease your concerns. They have a nice talk and you already feel a tiny bit better. Then comes the big question. They already talked to Shinso and he was almost in your room. He walked in and you were slightly confused. You knew about their family. You just didn’t know why all of them were here.

“We have something to ask.” Present Mic smiles.

“We talked with Shinso as well.” Aizawa says calmly.

“Sorry this is so cheesy but they made me do this… would you like to be my sister?” Shinso said, embarrassed that he had to be there at all. It was all pretty cringy. He had no clue why his dads would adopt a student out of the blue since he didn’t know your story other than the fact that you tried to commit.

You were shocked. You were too numb to cry but you were so happy that you almost caved.

“W-what?” You needed a reality check. ‘Is this even real?’ You thought.

“We want to adopt you. However, the decision is all yours.” Aizawa said with pleading eyes. He really didn’t want to give you a choice. He wanted to help you and wanted you to be his own daughter to teach you the love of a real dad. Not some chewed up trash you called ‘dad’ in the past.

“I would love to!” You hugged your two new parents and Mic told Shinso to join the hug since you would soon be a part of the family. Shinso awkwardly hugged you and his dads while cringing.

“So uh… why are we adopting her?” Shinso said, not meaning to break the happy atmosphere.

You look down and grit your teeth. You pull yourself together and tell him the bare minimum. You were trying to ease the pain both on you and your new family. This made Shinso livid. How could someone do that? This is where protective Shinso kicked in. He comforted you and shocked his parents in the process. They had no idea how comforting Shinso could be until now.

Time skip ^~^

You got out of the hospital and everyone kept an eye on you so they could possibly come that close to losing you again. It turns out your parents associated with the LOV. This was hard for you to deal with so you turned to the blade, being extra careful on placement and depth. You didn’t want what happened in the past to happen again.

You were officially adopted by the two teachers and Shinso helped with your panic attacks when you occasionally called him. Turns out he was amazing at this whole comforting thing and would immediately run to you when you needed it. Of course you still had relapses but no one knew that. You didn’t want to hurt them.

The difference is that you relapsed less and you could actually smile a real smile. You were happy even though you had your moments. When Eri was adopted you were the best sister you could be. You protected her and helped her panic attacks like Shinso would do for you. Aizawa would look at you with pride, he was happy that you found peace.

After a while your family found out about your relapses and kept a closer eye on you but they comforted you. They made you feel alive. That was until your metal health got twisted out of nowhere. You fell deep into the dark. You tried to tell your dads about it and they comforted you well.

“D-dads. Can I talk to you guys?” You were nervous about how to say you were getting worse.

“Of course love!” Mic said as both of them dropped what they were doing once they heard your tone of voice.

“What is it hun?” Aizawa said sitting down with you on the couch followed by Mic on the other side of you.

“I want to die.” You didn’t know how to say it any other way. You had to say it bluntly or you wouldn’t have been able to say anything at all.

“I-“ Mic pulled you into a hug. Eri overheard this small conversation.

“Is this why you slice your skin and cry at night?“ Eri asked while walking over. Everyone was stunned.

“W-what.” You were upset with yourself for letting her see that even if it wasn’t your fault. Your dads had no idea what to say.

“I wanted to die too when I was with those villains. I don’t feel it anymore since you made me feel better!” Eri said, sounding sickeningly innocent.

“Baby you felt that way?” Aizawa asked, tearing up about this whole situation.

“Oh my god..” Mics breath was taken away.

Of course Shinso walked in when everyone was crying.

“Did I miss something? Should I be crying too?” Shinso said confused and walked over to the group of crying family members.

“Well I guess at least 2 of the 5 people in this room want to die.” You laugh at the pathetic situation.

“WHAT? WHO?” Shinso is confused.

“Me and Eri. At least Eri doesn’t want to anymore.” You say going back to crying.

Now Shinso has joined the group that is crying. He begged you to stay safe and begged Eri to not think like that. He was a mess. His dads remembered the suicide attempt Aizawa made and regretted. They begged you to stay with them.

Pathetic time skip T~T

This helped a lot but not enough. You felt like you couldn’t carry on any more. You were haunted by nightmares and panic attacks and you felt pathetic when someone had to calm you. Especially when Mina comforted you since she would end up in tears every time.

It was going to be hard on everyone but you gave up the moment your parents became horrible to you at 5 years old. You wrote out a note and grabbed your anti depressants. Funny how you were gonna die by the hands of something that was meant to make you not want to die. Just to make sure you snuck a bottle of vodka into your room to down the pills with.

You had sworn to never drink because of your parents who were rotting in jail just like you wanted but it didn’t matter anymore. You were going to die so who cares if you drink. You started writing the note your family would have to read.

“To my amazing family,

Please know that you made my life so much better. You made me happier than I could have ever been. I’m sorry it has to end like this but I can’t take it anymore.”

A tear drips onto the page. You really didn’t want to die but you thought it would fix everything. You wouldn’t be a burden on your family and friends. They wouldn’t have to strain themselves or drop everything to comfort you. They wouldn’t have to spend their hard earned money on you. Then you continued.

“I’m so grateful for your help. Shinso, you have been the best brother. You always helped stop my panic attacks and flashbacks when our dads were busy teaching.

Aizawa, you have been an amazing dad. Your steaks were the best tasting things in the world. Your comforting was just what I needed to get this far. But this is as far as I’ll go.

Mic, you were great at cheering me up. The car rides we went on while blasting music was so much fun. You really brightened the mood whenever I was down. Too bad my mood could only be lifted so much.

To my little baby sister Eri, I hope you grow to know how to use your quirk. You’ve already made so much progress and it makes me so proud. I hope you never feel like I do right now ever again. The world may be painful so you must become a light for the world.

To Mina, you have been a great friend. I also considered you a sister. You helped me even when you didn’t know how. You have been amazing to me. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. You made class more fun with the notes you handed me. It was really hard trying not to laugh in the middle of class. (Sorry Aizawa and Mic school in general bores me)

To class 1A, you guys were a lot of fun to be around. We fought really well together. You guys are super strong and I know you’ll make super amazing hero’s one day. Treat this as the disappearing part of my quirk. I will always be there watching. Who knows, I might even smack you guys around if you feel down haha.

Thank you all! Really… I needed you guys. I’m sorry again for having to do this. I would have been long gone by now without you all. Please don’t be too sad. I’m just going on a road trip… to the after life. Don’t worry though!! I’ll bring souvenirs if I get to come back!”

You needed to add a small joke. Duh! Then you cried a bit. Silently of course. You locked your door before writing the note so that was one less worry. You folded the note into a cute heart. You opened the bottle of vodka, getting a whiff of the poisonous drink. You cringed a little and then took a sip. You were too numb to feel a thing.

You opened the bottles of pills and got ready. You dumped the pills into your hand and chugged some vodka. You got more and more numb the more vodka you consumed. You left the other third of the bottle to swallow. You shoved the pills into your mouth and swallowed them with more alcohol. You felt dizzy from the intoxication.

Then your stomach churned. Your head was pounding and your limbs were going numb.

*THUMP*

Everyone heard your body hit the floor except for Eri who was a heavy sleeper.

“Y/n? You ok?” Aizawa asked.

“…”

“Y/n, please answer” mic pleaded.

“…”

“Fine!” Shinso banged on the door but couldn’t break it down.

Aizawa stepped up to break the door down. “Mic, call an ambulance. NOW!”

The door broke off its hinges. They saw you. Laying on the floor. Lifeless.

They all froze as Mic told the emergency operator to hurry. Aizawa dropped to his knees next to you checking your pulse that had disappeared. He started crops and Shinso grabbed the heart shaped note. He read it out loud and then they noticed Eri, who had woken up from the banging and yelling, standing at the doorway crying.

She had listened to the note and watched as you were taken away. She was destroyed along with the rest of your family. She swore to help anyone who felt that way. She swore to carry on and help her family. Aizawa impatiently waited to hear the doctor say you were ok. He wanted to make things better. He wanted to fully heal you this time.

Mic promised to never let you leave his sight. He begged whatever god he needed to, to make sure you would be ok. Shinso was left as an empty shell. He felt angry and confused. He couldn’t fathom losing you. He couldn’t help but cry and look at the ground.

What they didn’t know was that you were watching this. It was like an out of body experience. This confused you. It made you wonder if you succeeded. You actually regretted doing this. Then everything went black.

*beep*beep*beep*

“A heart monitor?” You thought. “Am I still alive?”

You open your eyes to see that you fell asleep at your desk. The beeping was your alarm clock. You looked around and realized that My Hero Academia was still just a show. You noticed a pen in your hand.

That was the last line of our story… but it wasn’t real. It was just me and a pen and paper. I wrote it all…(@Katelyn on tik tok p.s. I couldn’t find her normal @)

How can something feel so real but be nothing but a dream. Truly I wish I never woke up if it meant I got to be with them. (@Bash11_13 on tik tok)

Your heart shattered when you heard your mom screaming at you to get ready because another man was coming by to “play” with you…..

#y/n #aizawa shota x reader #mha shinso x reader #mha x reader #x reader #tw self loathing

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writer-akihiko · 3 years

Note

so mc running away i love it the angst 👌 so if its alright can you the same but with the dorm leaders?(pls do a good ending my poor heart cannot take it-༎ຶ‿༎ຶ)

Dorm Leaders + MC Running Away

So I apologise for the lack of happy endings, if you want to call it that. The scenarios turned out much more different than the First Years probably because of the power gap I had in mind. Also, for anyone wondering, the Vice Dorm Leaders will have a shot of saving you next! When I get to it... Cut for length. Also please help to share because I limited the tags!

Warnings: Character Death [Not you or the main boy], mentions of abuse and emotional manipulation [On the Reader] and violent actions [The Dorm Leaders]

"I'm not going back."

"Wh... What?" He was astonished. "YN... I've looked far and wide for you- please-"

No words left his mouth as you stepped away from him, tears in your eyes and you were going to make a run for it again.

Malleus Draconia

Your words struck a chord in him. He didn't mean it, but when you said that you weren't going back, he almost lost control. What did you mean you weren't going back? You promised him to be his Queen!

No... he's not accepting this. His Queen deserved better. His larger hands encircled your wrists, stopping you in your tracks. No matter how much you tugged and pushed, Malleus' strength was beyond you. In your sole despair, you fell in his embrace.

Every ache and injury struck your core, as you cried your heart out. "I can't go back Malleus," you whimpered. "I... I'm sorry."

Your hands gripped tighter onto his clothes. "I don't mean to fight against you, I-"

The Fae Prince sealed your bruised lips with his own, pulling your smaller form into his lap as he took in the moment of the bittersweet, longing kiss. "YN... listen to me," He said, his own ice cold tears falling onto your cheek, healing your wounds. "You never have to apologise for your suffering. Not even to me."

Malleus held you close as you drowsed off. The gentle smile hardened into a growl, as his back arched, black wings bursting out of his body. Malleus, in his dragon form, summoned the thorns to protect you, holding you as if you were his personal dragon hoard…

The principal, or more accurately the culprit, Dire Crowley was a fool to step out. It disgusted Malleus to his very core, his claws setting the very ground on fire as Crowley stepped closer. No words were exchanged between them. For all the suffering you faced, it was to be paid in tenfold as the dragon took a deep breath, releasing the fire in his chest.

"It was a fraction of her suffering…"

Riddle Rosehearts

He was ballistic. Riddle had been eager to bring you back immediately, but the sheer refusal and attempt to run away made him think that you hate him. He was blaming himself, sobbing to the ground.

Riddle's breakdown made you stop. No matter what you did, you still love him. Riddle's hiccups of sobbing paused at the feeling of your arms wrap around him. He wanted this, he wanted your warmth, he wanted- no… he needed you so badly he'd ceased to function without you.

"I don't hate you Riddle," You said, kissing his tears away. Your pretty Queen of Hearts had ruined the uniform he so proudly kept up with and Riddle himself was unkempt. Riddle cradled your sore body, letting you tell him your stresses and your breaking point abused over and over again by Crowley.

Riddle's heart softened ever so much for you, as he realised that he was to a fault as well. It was then he started to cry for you. "YN… I… I lost control. I know I can't be forgiven for the stress you went through so-"

"Rosehearts! You found her, how wonderful!" The jovial Principal cried out. In his hand was a magic tracking spell and that's when Riddle was struck with guilt once more. He doomed you, again. He… no, he refuses to end it this way.

Your loving self became meek, frightened by the aspect of being under Crowley's care once more. You trembled, reaching out to the hem of Riddle's coat. "Riddle… Please don't let them take me…"

He pulled you up, whispering to you. "When I cast my magic, run YN."

"Ridd-"

"Never thought you'd defy me, Rosehearts. Being a law abider and all~"

"Off With Your Head."

Kalim Al-Asim

"Y-YN?"

Kalim desperately hung onto your ankle, on his knees, begging and bargaining you to stay.

"YN… Please don't leave me again," He begged. "I'll… I'll stop dragging you to parties! I'll get you anything you want just please… please come back to me."

His tears wet your foot, as his grip left light marks on your ankle. Kalim never meant to harm you. He was so desperate to make you stay, but in his heart, he knew that he didn't have the strength to keep you with him if you desired to leave.

"How could you think that?!" You cried out. You stooped to Kalim's level, tackling him in hug so hard that he crashes to the ground. "I… I'd never leave you if I had the choice! I couldn't stand NRC anymore…"

You sobbed into Kalim's chest, wondering when it'd all end. You could never refuse Kalim, but what about everyone else? What about Crowley? Your spine shivered at the monster's name, wanting everything to disappear except for you and Kalim.

Kalim didn't know what to do. He didn't understand why Crowley would do such a thing to you. If Crowley was causing you such pain… He'd just have to get rid of the problem. You only deserve the best, after all. It's not his fault, nor is it yours.

You had cried yourself to utter exhaustion. Kalim gently wrapped you up in his jacket, cradling you to his chest. As if clockwork, Crowley appeared to the heartwarming scene, simply glad that you were going to be returned.

"Al-Asim, Dire should patch her up nicely-"

"No."

Crowley coughed. "What was that?"

"I said no," Kalim reiterated. "I have no reason to listen to you…"

"Since YN and I aren't your students anymore."

Azul Ashengrotto

How grateful he was to find you near the water. He almost turned red at the thought of you willing to search for him. Azul never thought you'd long for him this way, but you knew him, and you knew him well.

As if on cue, you looked beyond the trees to see your beloved, running from the sandy shores barefoot to be caught by your precious Azul. Azul doesn't have the best reflexes, trying to catch you without hurting you.

Azul took one good look at you, and the sight was enough to make him cry. Messy hair, cuts and bruises littering your skin possibly from running through the rocky forest, feet with sores from rocks… and tearful, sorrowful eyes.

Not an inch of sadness deserved to touch you. That was one of his core beliefs. He didn't say anything to prompt you to tell about what you'd been suffering. He knew. He knew every line of the story, and it made him ever so guilty that it led to this. If he just paid more attention to you, or at least try to.

Azul offered you everything. An ear to listen and his body for comfort, with his arms wrapping about you. If the simple action was enough for your forgiveness, he'd do it over and over again.

It was for a moment Azul held you, before running the water with you in tow. From the forest emerged the tweels, but what was behind you made you scream. Crowley, with his magic, retaliating against the twins' magic.

Azul wrapped you around his tentacles, drifting further into the ocean with you. He bent down to whisper in your ear. "YN, close your eyes. Don't look."

You shut your eyes tight as you did, hiding yourself in Azul's chest, away from the scene.

"May we never see you again, Crowley."

Azul and the twins in their merforms plummet into the ocean, deep down where Crowley would never come to touch you.

Idia Shroud

He wasn't surprised that the huge robot scared you. It was his secret project after all. He immediately let himself out of the robot, but he was hesitant to step into the forest. Idia was scared, but he still had to protect you!

"Y-YN..."

"Idia!..."

You stopped running, seeing your boyfriend pop out of the robot. Idia was quick to get over his reluctance as his panic shifts to your injuries instead. He wanted to cry out of joy from the mere chance of finding you.

Idia tried to treat your wounds as best as he could with the emergency kit conveniently equipped [he really did think of everything] although his wrapping technique was unkempt at best.

Idia's attempts to heal you made you forget of all the suffering. You couldn't help but laugh, realising how much you missed Idia. He knew that you needed this time. Oh, how he wanted to whisk you away...

But he might as well. You're his, right?

Crowley didn't get close to reaching you. Idia thought of it all. He tracked every move the principal made, fooling Crowley to think that Idia was with you the entire time, with the tracking device that Crowley so faithfully gave him.

"How desperate... it's honestly funny..." Idia scoffed at the idea of Crowley getting to you.

With the S.T.Y.X androids, Idia confronted Crowley, who was in sheer confusion.

"Crowley… burn in hell."

Leona Kingscholar

Leona didn't hold back. He couldn't believe you would say such a thign to him… The only conclusion he reached to was that you hated him. You hated his very core, just like everyone else… He was scared. It frightened him to the core that after everything he did, you still hated him.

"YN… stop fucking around with me," He said, grabbing onto your wrist. He wasn't about to throw a tantrum then and there. He had to get things straight. "Hey… tell me. Was I just a waste for you?"

"W-What are you talking about Leona?" You pushed against his chest, trying to get some distance but Leona was way stronger than you. The lion couldn't listen to reason. He simply went on about how you must've hated him, and how much you despised him.

"Did I mean nothing to you, YN?" Leona was shaking, his shoulders trembling from the mere thought of hearing those words.

You wrapped your arms around Leona, pulling him in close. "I never did… How dare you think that you stupid lion?!" You said, sobbing your heart out. You were equally hurt, but you never once thought Leona would think such a thing.

The emotional reunion was interrupted by the principal himself, pretending to be moved by such a scene. The false pretense of safety caught on to you, and you were sent into a panic, clinging onto Leona for fear of your life.

"I hate you!" You yelled, your body crumpling to the ground just as Leona caught you. "I hate you, I hate you. I don't want to go back, don't make me!"

If you were to scream anymore, you might collapse from exhaustion. Leona was quick to carry you in his arms, holding you close to his chest, where you were comforted by his heartbeat.

"Hoi, good for nothing principal," Leona called out, a single claw drawn out, igniting his Unique Magic.

"Move before I turn you to sand."

Vil Schoenheit

He was stunned to see you in such a state. He called out for you, and you stopped in your tracks. Was he that incompetent that he can't keep you with him? Did he not treat you right? Was his mere presence just torture for you?

Vil couldn't keep it in anymore. He needed to know. "YN… why won't you come back? Tell me, is it my fault? Am I not worthy of you?!"

The once prideful queen fell into shambles of insecurity as his mind won't stop painting images of you walking away from him, of you calling him your doom, of him being your captor… No, he didn't mean it…

"Was I the villain in your story?! WAS I?!"

Vil had never cried as much as he did. He needed to know that you didn't of him as a nuisance. He really was worthless if he made you feel unwanted… so please, he needed an answer.

"How could you think that, my love?"

You stooped to Vil's level, brushing away the tears that ruined his makeup with your very hands. Oh, your poor Vil… You were too selfish, thinking of your own suffering. With Vil in your arms, you felt whole once again. You gave Vil your actual answer, relenting every moment of your stress that stemmed from Crowley.

Oh… how his sweet potato must've suffered. Vil had a stuck of guilt, considering that he was under an Overblot as well. No matter, he had to make things right. For your sake, for his love's sake.

"YN, Crowley is trying to find you. But I… I have to set things right," He said, pulling you up.

The rustle of leaves had you on guard as from it came Dire Crowley, revelling in the scene.

"Schoenheit. You are supposed to bring LN YN to me immediately as I ordered."

Vil for once scared you. It scared you how enraged he was, and your heart wrenched at seeing the ink droplets by his hand.

"Vil, don't you dare-"

He turned back to you, whispering for you to run to Rook's safety. "Don't cry, my love."

You tried to hold the tears once again as you saw Vil shifting forms to an ink-like mess, this time his rage directed at Crowley. You could only run away, praying in your heart that Vil was safe.

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst scenarios #twst angst #twst dorm leaders #twst azul #twst idia #twst kalim #twst malleus #twst leona #twst vil #twst riddle #azul ashengrotto #idia shroud #kalim al asim #malleus draconia #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #riddle rosehearts

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bonky-n-steeb · 3 years

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𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗲 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗽𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲

𝙎𝙏𝙀𝙑𝙀 𝙍𝙊𝙂𝙀𝙍𝙎 𝙭 𝙍𝙀𝘼𝘿𝙀𝙍

𝙨𝙪𝙢𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙮 || Steve’s life takes a quantum leap when he finds you unconscious on the beach.

𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 || ANGST (with a happy ending)

This is the second part of six feet under.

I know I broke your hearts, so here comes the second part to mend it! I hope you love this!

“You are my mission.”

Steve felt as if the walls of his heart were pricked by a thousand needles. It ached too much for him to bear. Unable to look in your eyes, he cried in his own palms.

The Asset wasn’t built to show emotions, but you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at the picture in front of you; your mission had just dropped down on his knees and was pathetically sobbing.

Why wasn’t your target fighting. You were informed that he was great at hand combat but not really outstanding with guns. So why wasn’t he attacking you as expected. Why was he showing you his back in surrender?

You were told what to do if the mission fought. But you weren’t informed what to do if he just... surrendered.

Walking close to your mission where he was crouching down, you stared at him for a moment. You weren’t wearing your combat gear, and neither was he. You both were instead dressed in far from modest clothes.

You didn’t know why, but you couldn’t bring yourself to harm him in any way. With the way he was trusting you, you could’ve killed him within seconds. But yet your heart somehow ached at his situation.

When he didn’t even look up, you nudged his thigh with your left foot. When your mission finally looked up, his eyes were bloodshot and he was incessantly crying.

“Fight me.” You said as he just stared at you. Your blank gaze terrified Steve more than any alien or villain ever had. You didn’t know why, but you wanted him to fight you. You weren’t able to attack him if he just gave up.

Steve blinked his eyes as he took in your words. Why weren’t you killing him? He had surrendered to you and yet you were just looking back at him instead of fighting. Why did you want him to fight you?

“No.” Steve had never thought love would be his weakness. Or maybe he had never truly realised it. Steve loved Bucky as a friend and had rained hell when his friend was in danger.

And here he had signed off his soul in your name. He would literally bring you the moon and stars if you asked to. And he would bare his throat for you to slash through. But he couldn’t possibly ever hurt you.

“I said fight me.” Steve Rogers, your mission was supposed to fight you. Not just sit down and take whatever you gave him. You didn’t know why you were angry at his lack of self preservation.

What happened next was within the blink of an eye. Steve’s arm shot up and curled around your wrist. And with a quick pull, he pulled your entire body down.

His agility took you by shock and before you could react, you were down on the ground pressed against the floor with him straddling you. Taking both of your hands in his, he pinned them above your head, making sure you were immobile.

You were royally fucked. Your handlers wouldn’t take it lightly if you messed up. And that was if you reached them in one piece. Chances were you were gonna die here, right under Steve Rogers.

You opened your mouth to bite and hiss and Steve took the opportunity and dove right in. You stilled with surprise when you felt the captain’s plump lips right against yours. This man was super insane.

You mercilessly but his lower lip and ended up drawing blood. But as soon as he started licking in your mouth with his tongue, you melted right on the spot.

The warmth of his mouth slowly brought back the warmth of your memories. Steve felt you go pliant under him for some moments before you started fiercely kissing him back.

You entwined your fingers with his and gently pressed your tongue against the bite mark on his lips. You didn’t notice the tears that slipped through your eyes and how they mixed with Steve’s own tears falling against your face.

“Steve.” You called his name just like you always did. With love and belonging. He opened his eyes to see you staring right back at him with your lively eyes.

Steve had never been happier before. Pressing his forehead against yours, he just breathed you in for a moment. “Steve.” Your hand was now caressing his face.

Your eyes peering into each other were enough to convey the million thoughts you had and the thousand things you wanted to say. Pressing a loving kiss to your forehead, he got up and you followed him.

You both sat on the floor with your legs crossed, you kept some space between you two. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Steve repeated as he broke down once again.

You hushed him and held him in your arms until he calmed down. “I shouldn’t have done that, but… but I wanted to know.” Steve couldn’t ever forget how your face had morphed into that of betrayal as he recited the words.

“But I want to know one thing. Do you love me? Or… or is it some tactic of hydra to ruin me?” You wanted to slap Steve for asking this stupid ass question. Of course you loved him!

But then you realised where he was emotionally. If you were in his position then maybe even you would fear the same. “It’s real Steve. It’s definitely real.”

You framed his face with your hands and caressed your thumb over his cheeks. “Steve, I love you. And by ‘I’, I mean Y/N and Soldat. My soul belongs to you, no matter it’s name.

How can you doubt our love when it was the only thing that brought me back?” It was true, you wouldn’t have remembered anything if Steve hadn’t kissed you.

You could see the colour fill in Steve’s face. He pulled you in a bear hug and held you tight. “I love you. I love you.” Steve chanted in your ear just like before.

Once you were both calm enough to think straight, you decided to go out on the beach. You sat in the sand with your head tilted on Steve’s shoulder as the sea breeze kissed your wet cheeks.

“I barely remember who I was before all this Steve. I can only remember glimpses of the shield and the avengers. I’m no more the Y/N you once saw.”

Steve was silent as he listened to each and every word of yours. He wanted to say so many things back, but he knew he had to listen to you first.

“But I remember how they took me Steve. It was probably my third official shield mission and we had all thought that base was not active. But when we broke in, the operatives were waiting just for us.

It was trap and we fell willingly into it. The others managed to escape, but… but I couldn’t. And they took me Steve. I… I waited for you people.

I still remember shivering in that cold cell all alone, praying for you to find me. But you never came. And with time I just kept forgetting until I couldn’t remember anymore.” Your voice cracked yet you kept going.

“Even after you retired, you still were hydra’s number one target. It’s almost personal now. It took them some time, but they finally traced you and they knew you were alone.

I was supposed to use a boat as long as I was out of visibility and then swim till the shore so that you wouldn’t notice me. But I miscalculated the current and the rocks on the shore.

After I abandoned my boat, I jumped into the water and got caught in the water currents. It was a terrifying experience, just spinning wildly underwater as the water took you.

But I was oddly at peace as I thought finally I would be free. But then I hit my head on the rocks and got washed up. And I woke up remembering absolutely nothing in your warm bed.”

“I’m sorry.” Steve couldn’t ever forgive himself for all that had happened to you. He was sure shield must have tried their best, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. I’m sure they must’ve tried.” You both sat quietly staring at the calm ocean which reflected the night sky.

“Do you still love me?” You asked with a dejected sigh. “I’ll always love you.” Steve replied pulling you closer. “Even after knowing who I am and what I was here for?”

“You could’ve easily completed your mission. I know you are capable enough of doing that. But, you did not. You couldn’t harm me even when I openly surrendered to you.

So yes, I still very much love you and I’ll stay by your side forever.” The last word pierced through your heart like a knife. You couldn’t give him what he wanted.

“Steve, I… I have to go.” Steve looked at you quizzically. “Where?” You gulped audibly before meekly replying, “Hydra.” You could feel his body tense.

“You aren’t going back there, no matter what.” You wanted to believe Steve’s words, but you knew that couldn’t happen.

“I’ve tried to run away. So many times. But they always find me. They’ll find me this time too. And if they find me, they’ll find you too and I can’t let that happen.

I won’t be able to live if something happened to you. I’ll never forgive myself. And that’s why I need to go.” If this sacrifice was going to keep Steve safe, then so be it.

“Nothing will happen to me. And if they come, we will fight them. Together. And nothing and no one can stop us if we are with each other. Stay with me, please!”

You kissed his cheek to stop him from pleading anymore. You couldn’t tolerate the man you loved begging you. “I’ll… I’ll stay with you. I promise.”

Steve hugged you so tight, you wondered if you broke some bones. But being in the arms of the man who loved you, felt better than heaven itself. It was a different kind of a feeling, one that no words could ever describe.

“Steve, what do you think about Paris? I’ve always wanted to go there.” You asked as you both sat silently on the beach, basking in each other’s presence.

“I’ve always thought about visiting Louvre too. But I never really got the chance.” Even as a sickly kid, Steve wanted to get mesmerised by the art in the famous museum.

“And what about Sydney? Or Amsterdam? Or Barcelona?” Your eyes lit up like an excited kid. “What about all of them?” Steve jested.

Steve wanted to travel the world too. In a sense he already had, but it was always for some mission and never for the sake of relaxation. “Yeah, we could do that!” You exclaimed as if the thought hadn’t occurred to you.

It would be a new beginning for both of you. A new life away from your tainted past. A fresh canvas to paint with the colours of your own choice. A much needed restart that both you and Steve needed.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s pack our bags!”

#did you like it?#marvel #steve rogers #mcu #steve rogers x you #steve rogers x reader #chris evans #steve rogers x y/n #chris evans x reader #steve rogers smut #chris evans smut #steve rogers one shot #nomad steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction

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this-world-of-beautiful-monsters · 2 years

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Best Raph Angst 2012

This was meant to be an answer for @casperheav, but I think I broke Tumblr’s post or something because I found so many good fics (this is the most thorough I’e ever been for one of these). So now it’s a collection of posts that will be gathered in a master list. Tcest stories are not included, per request, although I have found some angsty ones.

One shots

jade green eyes turned white by subtlyfailing - Raph is brainwashed much longer than in canon, and the results are devastating (tw violence and mental health issues)

Inside Out by vacant houses (the_lost_robot) - Raph in the aftermath of The Creep (tw for mentions of body horror)

in the bitter watches by impossiblewanderings - Raph keeps a long vigil, but not a silent one (tw discussion of injury)

Sai, Sigh by nemsolele - Character study for a damaged turtle in the aftermath of the brain worms (tw violence, eye trauma, imprisonment, self-harm, mental health issues, and PTSD) the way back home by taizi (@taizi) Raph is struggling to regain himself, but he isn’t alone (tw trauma and self-loathing)

The Prize by orphan_account - Raph is captured and faces a truly terrible kind of cruelty (tw for non-consensual drug use graphic gang rape)

(Mind) Control by Intomyfireyoushallfall (scorpiontales) - Examining how the brain worm could have rewritten Raph’s world (tw for false memories of abuse, violence, and death)

And after the bombs subside by moogsthewriter - Clash of the Mutanimals AU, Raph struggles to bear the weight of what he’s done (tw injury and memories of violence)

Breathe by asandygraves for Werepirechick - Raph needs his brother to keep him from drowning on dry land (tw trauma, panic attacks, and past violence)

It's Not Loud Enough by Purfectpink - Art, not a fic, but it’s one of the purest expressions of Raph angst I’ve ever encountered. Artist is on Inkbunny, but the picture itself is non-shippy and SFW. In Memoriam by blackwyvern - Raph finds himself in a reality that is at once forever altered and totally unchanged (tw for character death, past violence, denial, and mental health issues)

The Burrower Feeds by @sleepingseeker - Raph struggles with the impact of the brain worms (tw for violent thoughts and self-harm) Conversations and a Good Night's Rest by SparkyFrootloops - Donnie helps Raph deal with a painful shared memory.

Cracked Screen by Jaxopil - Raph is guilty and helpless after Donnie endures the unimaginable (tw for rape and self-loathing) Mirror by fireworksinthenight - Raph deals with his feelings regarding the friendship between Leo and Karai (some violence, but not Leorai if you’re not interested in that)

Fire And Oxygen: Phoenix From Ashes by BrightLotusMoon - Raph is left guilty and traumatized after Mikey experiences a brutal assault (tw for rape and violence)

Fire And Oxygen: I'll Fall With Your Knife by BrightLotusMoon - Raph needs Mikey’s help after losing control of his newfound psychic abilities (tw violence, death, injury, self-harm)

The Last Enemy by pan_demic - Raph is haunted by a recurring nightmare, and the advice he gets might make things worse (tw suicidal implications and self-loathing)

Last Cup of Sorrow by crazycatlady713 for blackwyvern - Donnie helps Raph deal with an oncoming loss (use of r word if that bothers you) Wait by Neko_HaniChan - The things Raph won’t say about his time at his brother’s side. Inferno by lukeyandlou - Raph pushes Mikey too far and deals with the consequences (tw self-loathing)

Maelstrom by FicklePencil - Raph’s POV in the midst of “Broken Foot”

Silenced Thoughts by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account - Raph wrestles with his guilt after almost killing Mikey on the Aeon Planet (tw self-loathing)

Hated Resemblance by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account - Raph has a nightmare, and it only gets worse after he wakes up (tw self-loathing)

No Fear by MoTexas55 (CupNoodles55) - Raph’s terror of bugs is amplified after a painful experience, and he needs Leo’s help (tw insect grossness, trauma, and nightmares)

Confidences by Adoradork - Raph can barely handle his own misery, and everyone keeps dumping their own on him (tw injury and abandonment)

The Real Monster by sartiebodyshots - Raph blames himself for Spike’s rampage (tw self-loathing)

Fissures by sleepingseeker - Raph is in love with April, and it’s almost too painful to bear (tw self-esteem issues)

Rain on Steel by sleepingseeker - Splinter helps a young Raph deal with a seemingly humorous, but deeply troubling problem (tw teasing and self-esteem issues) Favorites by Ravenshell - A small Raph copes with a loss that has bigger implications. Unbind Me: Three is Better Than None by her_silhouette for FeeFido - With Raph lost to them, Donnie has to make a sacrifice (tw character death) “Violet” A Deep And Thorny Tangle by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Violets are the Hanakotoba flowers of honesty, and Raph has some things to own up to. (tw alcoholism, trauma, and past violence)

“Oh, mercy me, mercy my” from It's your Candyland where dreamers dance (And I promise that it's safe) by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph needs Leo’s help to confront horrifying memories (tw past rape and flashbacks) “Counterparts” ABC TMNT by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - An interdimensional encounter gives Raph a frightening revelation (tw trauma, mental health issues, and self-loathing)

“Enemy” from ABC TMNT II: Out Of The Ooze by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Casey tries to bring Raph back to the light (tw violence and mentions of suicidal thoughts) Chapter Fics

Just a Dream by orphan_account - A raphril story where April tries to help Raph recover from the brain worms (tw mental health issues, violence, intoxication, sexual implications, false memories of abuse)

Raphael's Haiku by Firebird Scratches - Splinter finds an unusual way to bond with his most recalcitrant son when he attempts to teach his children the arts (tw self-harm, self-loathing, and mental health issues)

Unspoken Affection by mo.texas55 - Raph’s jealousy over the friendship between Leo and Donnie leads them all to some very dark places (tw violence, bullying, graphic injury, and dysfunctional family)

In Another Lifetime, Maybe by Fiiu - AU. A captive Raph crosses paths with a pare of long-lost brothers (tw violence, torture, threats, abuse, slavery, and general cruelty)

Day 0 and all the days after. by Werepirechick (@spectrumscribe) - The ruins of the Hamato clan, after the end (tw violence, destruction, grief, loss, moral quandaries, amnesia, bigotry and general misery)

Two Sides of a Mirror by Werepirechick (@spectrumscribe) - Oroku Saki sees something of himself in Raph, and decides to turn him to his side (tw violence, imprisonment, hunger, torture, non-consensual drug use, emotional/psychological abuse and manipulation)

The Scar by Manawolf - Turtle tots story of how Raph might have gotten his scar (tw injury)

The Waste Land by This_world_of_beautiful_monsters - Raph and his family after the end of the world (tw death, violence, suicide, mentions of rape, amnesia, gore, torture, brutality, trauma)

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mionemymind · 3 years

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Chapter 3: The Harsh Treatment

Fake Memories

Series Summary: After Y/n is caught cheating on Wanda with Carol, Y/n would do just about anything to get Wanda back into her life. But was it even Y/n’s fault that she cheated? Or was it the new enemy set on revenge?

Chapter Summary: What will happen to Y/n as the team pushes her past her limits?

A/n: I lied, I decided to be nice and post it now. Honestly, the amount of support that I’m receiving from this fanfic has literally made me smile so much. I really love all of you who read and/or comment. You mean the world to me. Let me know what you think. :) (Not my GIF)

Warnings: Starvation, harmful thoughts, curse words, self-doubt, mentions of blood, injuries, angst

Word Count: 5k

Masterlist

Y/n abruptly woke up at the feeling of pressurized gas coursing through her body. She quickly sat up, unable to see anything in the white fog. The cold feeling only lasted a couple seconds before F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Fire has been contained.” Y/n hugged herself for warmth as she waited for the fog to disappear. This was the 13th time this month that she was woken up with pressurized gas. At first, it was foam but someone in maintenance had changed the system after the 5th time she woke up.

Y/n looked at her surroundings and sighed at the damages to her sheets. There were burn marks along with small amounts of frostbite from the gas. “At this rate, I won’t have money for food.” With a grim face, Y/n got up from her bed and proceeded with taking everything off her bed, a routine she unfortunately started to learn.

Y/n didn’t know when things got worse. If she had to guess, maybe it was after the whole fiasco with Wanda. The team had been on edge ever since then. “They probably thought I hurt her,” Y/n thought at the time, but it was far from the truth. She had wanted to explain herself to the team but dismissed those thoughts with, “What’s the point in trying? I’ll always be guilty to them.”

As for Wanda, the still heartbroken girl didn’t dare to speak to the team about that night. Even she didn’t quite know what happened. Since that night, she only lied to herself stating that maybe Y/n had done something. It would probably remove the guilt she had when she thought of the blood running down Y/n’s face. But even the lie couldn’t repress the truth from her thoughts.

After she collected her bedding, she threw it away in the trash can along with the other damaged beddings. Y/n grabbed her wallet off her night stand and opened it. She couldn’t feel it, but her heart dropped at the sight of the lack of money she had. Only a $20 dollar bill as well as a couple ones were left. She closed her eyes and tried her best to keep herself calm, to try and act like the world wasn’t closing in on her. It was a couple minutes later when she opened her eyes and looked at her wallet again. “This was supposed to last me for the rest of the month.” Y/n rubbed her forehead, feeling the overwhelming stress from her lack of funds.

One might ask, “Aren’t you an Avenger? Shouldn’t you make a shit ton of money.” And at one point, Y/n would say yes, she did. But it all came back to that night. A week after, she had overheard a conversation that went…

“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this to her.” Y/n was about to go around the corner, but decided to wait at the sound of Steve’s voice. “It’s simple Rodgers - unless I have to remind you why we needed to redo the glass in the conference room.” Steve sighed at Tony’s simple minded actions. Y/n could practically feel him crossing his arms in a disapproving manner.

“Well she did work fair and hard for her money Tony - this just feels wrong.” Y/n heard a couple clicks before Tony replied with, “This is for Wanda. Anything to get Y/n out of here by her own means is worth it. If you have a problem with this, you must not care as much for Wanda as I thought.” Steve sighed again seeing as he was morally put in an awkward position. It was either care for Y/n or care for Wanda. “That’s what I thought.” Tony left with a smug look on his face as he clicked more on the screen in front of him.

It didn’t take long for Y/n to see the effects of Tony’s decision. Her pay day was the following day and the overwhelming sense of panic and anxiety rose up within her as she only had $400 to survive until the next pay day, which was a month later. Since then, her food portions have been small to say the least. Y/n learned that she only had enough money for the month to eat at least once a day and even that was cutting it. The dramatic changes to her diet had slowly affected her powers but it recently had an exponential increase.

This was her fourth month of hardly eating when her powers started to flare at night. It has gotten to the point that Y/n couldn’t control them in her sleep leading to F.R.I.D.A.Y having to deal with her fireside. But her powers weren’t the only thing that has changed. If anyone were to actually look, they would see that Y/n had gotten skinnier. Her literal glow was getting duller and duller the more time passed.

However, Y/n refused to feel sorry for herself. The sentence “I deserve this” was burned into her head. The brain tricks she puts herself through even allowed her to convince that Tony's decision was right. That Wanda didn’t need to tell the truth to the team. That Steve didn’t need to defend her. And that the team certainly was allowed to make her feel like nothing. Because to Y/n, if she didn’t deserve this, then why would you possibly treat a person like this? Just why?

Of course, Wanda didn’t notice these changes at all. The girl was trying her best to avoid Y/n as much as possible. She always had exit strategies in place in case she were to be in the same vicinity as Y/n. However, Wanda also didn’t notice that lack of Y/n’s presence. Much to her dismay, Y/n’s efforts were the reason they didn’t see each other much.

What Wanda did notice though was the slow and gradual decline of snacks in her cubby. It left her to question whether Natasha was done doing these small favors for her. But her reports were still getting done.

The red head didn’t have much room to think though as she got slammed down on the mat from the other red head. “Take a ten - you’re distracted and we can’t keep going like this.” Wanda grumbled at another failed attempt to flip Natasha over. Hand to hand combat was one of the few subjects that Wanda hated the most. With the help of Natasha, Wanda got up and walked over to the waters on the other side of the room. She was gulping down the remaining when Natasha’s words caught her off guard. “What happened?”

Wanda cocked an eyebrow while still drinking her bottle, needing more elaboration. Natasha faced Wanda while hundreds of thoughts racked her mind. Luckily for her, Wanda had trained her on how to make them quiet enough that Wanda wouldn’t be able to hear. When Natasha found the right words, she said, “I am not doubting you. I am doubting her…” Wanda closed the bottle and looked around the room to avoid Natasha’s eyes. This had been the first time that anyone from the team had remotely even asked her about that night. To be frank, she hadn’t expected Natasha to be the one to break the ice. Usually it was Steve that would act like the team’s counselor. Guess things change.

Wanda sighed and recollected her memory for the night that continued to haunt her. “One minute, I left to get a drink from the bar. - she said that she needed to go to the bathroom. The next minute, I come back to see her all over blondie.” Wanda’s grip on the bottle tightened at the words she was going to say next. “I thought it was a mistake - that she could have been too drunk that night - b-but her thoughts were so - loud.” Wanda slammed her fist at the table in front of her, tears already falling down her cheeks. “A-a-and I saw everything-”

The broken hearted girl didn’t have much energy left in her to continue. She dropped to her knees and sobbed into her hands. Natasha kneeled beside Wanda. She pulled the poor girl into her arms, trying her best to physically comfort her. But nothing could really make Wanda feel better. What could you say to a girl that saw every moment where her girlfriend has cheated on her? Nothing - you say nothing.

“It’s quite pathetic actually,” Tony said as he spun the rod, causing his player to score in foosball. He was currently versing Steve as the two decided to quietly speak about Y/n’s actions for the past couple weeks. Going on the defense again, Steve shot back but Tony was quick to block. “She’s probably just trying to get her money back.” Steve huffed from the sudden slap shot as well as Tony’s rude words.

For the past couple weeks, Y/n had gone from trying to win Wanda back to trying to win the whole team back. The first thing they noticed was all the completed mission reports and the continuation of it. Clint was the first to jokingly comment, “Bruce must really love mission reports.” But the genius bore a confused look before replying with, “It wasn’t me. Even I haven’t had anything to do in my stack for a couple days.” Bruce had a displeasured look on his face. Clint just assumed it was either he wanted to do his stack of reports or the comment was actually true...or maybe both.

When it was time for the meeting, Clint had asked everyone in the room, minus Y/n, on who was completing the mission reports for everyone. “Well, I’m doing Wanda’s and mine,” Natasha claimed as she sat in her usual spot. No one was able to detect her lie, but then again, Natasha was always good at lying.

Clint was quick to figure out that the only person remaining must have been the person responsible. With a straight forward voice, he explained to the team that Y/n had been completing everyones, besides Wanda’s and Natasha’s, reports. Still, Natasha sat there, copying the confused looks on everyone’s faces. She didn’t care to tell them the truth, it wasn’t worth it. However, the meeting proceeded with little comment on Y/n’s actions. She wasn’t worth the mention.

“What if she actually is trying to say sorry to us?” Steve couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty for Y/n, but Tony’s words made the guilt go all away. “Oh - so miss Hydra over here actually wants to apologize - hilarious Steve.” With that, Tony quickly spun the rod and scored the final point, making him win the game. What the two failed to realize was the fact that Y/n had overheard their conversation. She no longer felt hungry for the day and had retreated back to her room, feeling overwhelmingly numb from the confession she heard.

It was a new and different day for Wanda. She had managed to want to try and sit in the common room with her team seeing as sitting in her room no longer gave her the same satisfaction anymore. Scrolling through the tv, she was about to pull up Bewitched when the following words appeared on the screen:

Bewitched is longer provided on Netflix. Please see related tv shows.

“What do you mean it’s no longer available?” Wanda frustratedly questioned. And here she was trying to have a good day. “Sorry kid, I guess Netflix took it off their streaming service,” Clint said as he leaned over the couch. “No why would they do that?!” Wanda said with an exasperated look. Clint simply shrugged, Netflix did have an awful reputation for getting favorites removed or canceled. “No clue, but you could try other shows.” Wanda crossed her arms and huffed at his suggestion. “I was really feeling Bewitched today.” Ruffling her hair, Clint left after saying, “Try to feel for something else.”

However, Wanda had failed to feel anything but angry for the remaining of the day. It wasn’t until she sat in her room for the night, aimlessly finding shows in her room when she noticed Bewitched on her home screen. She quickly clicked on it noticing that all eight seasons are there for her own viewing. Her mood immensely increased for the night as she fell asleep in the middle of season two.

Outside of her room, Y/n had been cleaning up the compound for the night. It was getting harder and harder to clean the kitchen when everything in her wanted to just take a couple of snacks for herself. Her hunger was constantly on her mind as well as the stupid flashes that have sporadically appeared more and more everyday. But she wanted more than anything to prove to the team that she is a good person. Stealing, no matter how minor, was probably the last thing she needed to be labeled as.

When she completed for the night, she returned to her room but paused outside of her door when she heard the Bewitched theme song loudly play in Wanda’s room. A small smile appeared on her face as she walked back into her room and slept on the floor tonight.

“Did it ever occur to you that I love you - like a lot?” The couple were laying in Carol’s room decorated with punk rock posters and pictures of their team. Small plants were placed around the room while Malcolm in the Middle was used as background noise.

“Nah. I haven’t heard you say it in approximately - 10 minutes?” Carol laughed as Y/n glanced at her watch. They laid on their sides as they faced each other, their faces being only inches away. “Well I do.” Carol cupped Y/n’s cheek as she soon grew mesmerized.

There are words to always describe feelings with someone but they all felt overused or incomplete. Because everything felt like this daydream colored borders with warm tones and retro filters as she glanced at Y/n. She felt like she was watching a show that she would never get tired of. Even if the show was in color or black and white, new or old, slow or fast, she would watch just to see her. Just her.

“You do what?” Carol flicked Y/n’s forehead at her response. “Kidding - kidding.” Y/n said as she rubbed her forehead. Carol rolled her eyes and kissed Y/n’s head as she cuddled into her arms, legs tangled within the sheets. “I do love you.” Y/n kissed her hair as she combed it with her hand. “I know,” she whispered, hoping Carol would pick up on the secret reference. Because to Y/n, yeah, she’s worth a whole galaxy.

It was the middle of the night when Steve woke up from a nightmare that shook him from his slumber. Rather than staying in bed to force himself to sleep, he got up and headed to the kitchen for a late night snack.

Heading into the pantry, Steve pursed his lips noticing that Y/n’s cubby had been empty for weeks it seems like. The guilt that was slowly forming inside him kept building and building. Although he knew he could try to do something about it, the loyalty he had to his family - to Wanda. That was something he didn’t want to break.

The relationship with Wanda and Steve was something similar to a father and daughter relationship. Steve had always wanted a kid of his own and Wanda had lost her father. The irony of it all just happened to work for the two. Even though Wanda nor Steve would admit it out loud, they viewed each other as the roles that needed to be filled in their lives. They needed each other regardless of titles.

But then there was Y/n. The troubled girl that made Steve absolutely nervous with how quick her and Wanda seemed to like each other. It absolutely didn’t help Steve’s case when the whole team found out about Y/n’s past. His anxiety had practically skyrocketed. It eventually led to a one on one talk with Wanda about how sometimes we need to protect ourselves before letting people in.

But Y/n was still there. Breaking down Wanda’s walls. So just like any Dad would, Steve watched over. Making sure his girl was always happy and safe. So while Natasha may have refilled Wanda’ cubby and did her reports, Steve had carried Wanda to bed during nights she couldn’t sleep. He made her tea for times that she didn’t want to talk, which was often. He tucked her in at night and cuddled with her when she needed a shoulder to cry on. He was just there.

But so was she. She was there whenever Wanda cried at night. She was there when Wanda would sometimes forget to eat after busying herself all day. She was there to take care of Wanda. She was there when Steve wasn’t. And that meant everything to Steve. So why couldn’t Steve be there for Y/n?

There were a lot of unanswered questions roaming around Steve’s head. Rather than pondering more about them, he walked around the tower, eating a pack of cookies for himself. Just as he was turning the corner, he glanced towards the conference room to see Wanda asleep in front of her reports. However, the more alarming part was the girl that happened to be right in front of Wanda. Steve quickly grew on high alert and observed Y/n’s actions. However, after a couple minutes of harmless actions, Steve forced his shoulders to relax. “She’s just doing reports - calm down,” Steve thought.

But he couldn’t calm down. The guilt had maneuvered it’s way back up to his throat as he actually noticed the pale state of the once bright girl. For someone that had literal fire abilities, she lacked the glow of any raging fire. Feeling nothing but guilt all over, Steve felt compelled to say something - anything. But he froze. He didn’t know what to say.

However, the opportunity soon was lost as Y/n finished everyone’s stack of reports. Steve hid around the corner as Y/n passed him. Hearing a door close was when Steve stepped out of hiding. He glanced towards the direction of Y/n’s room, feeling every need to go to her. But his footsteps led him to Wanda. He picked her up and carried her to her room. Wanda will always be first in Steve’s heart. And nothing could change that.

“We have to stop this treatment Tony.” Steve waltzed into Tony’s lab the very next day. For once, he couldn’t sleep for the remainder of the night. Y/n was all over his mind. The guilt was practically eating him alive.

Tony rolled his eyes at Steve’s dramatic fashion for entrances. “Oh - good morning Tony - how are you - I’m actually pretty good.” Steve rolled his eyes as he stood in front of Tony, a hologram in between the two.

“Cut the crap Tony - I’m being serious.” Steve crossed his arms. This needed to end. “And you think I’m not Rodgers?” Tony was quick to respond, already growing irritated by the conversation.

“This isn’t right - none of this right.” Steve wiped the hologram to finally get a clear view of Tony as he grew frustrated by the second. Tony simply swiped it back, not wanting to deal with the issue. “Well maybe if she just quit - we wouldn’t need to worry about anything. It’s not my fault Fury hired Ms. Hydra - and if he finds out I fired her, he would not allow it at all.”

“But can’t you see that your stupid plan isn’t working? All we’re doing is abusing the girl.” Steve wiped the hologram again but Tony simply walked to a different station and continued his work. Angry with his response, Steve walked around the table and stood beside Tony.

“This needs to end Tony,” Steve said through his gritted teeth. The man was clenching his jaw so hard, it almost looked as if he was going to break his teeth. However, Tony quickly glared at Steve at the mention of his threat.

“Don’t you fucking dare. Can’t you actually see that I’m trying to protect Wanda.” Steve tilted his head at the awful reasoning for his actions. “How is this protecting Wanda? Why are you even trying to protect her?”

Tony slammed his fist into the table, feeling his anger rising by the second. “We - no - I need to protect her Steve!”

“Why Tony? Why?”

“Because I’m the goddamn reason her parents and her country is dead. I’m the reason that everything she ever loved is gone. I’m the reason for her sadness. She, of all people, deserves happiness. And I sure as hell won’t let anyone else hurt her anymore - no more Steve.” Tony didn’t give Steve a chance as he walked out the facility needing a day drink more than ever.

It was lunch time and all Wanda could think about was the need to cook paprikash. She didn’t know when the last time she had actually cooked. And seeing as the majority of the team was on missions, she could actually cook without interruptions or lingering eyes.

Walking into the kitchen, Wanda tied her hair up and started to take out the necessary ingredients for the meal. It was when she was talking the spices out when Vision had appeared out of nowhere, nearly scaring the girl. “Vision!”

Sensing a slight rise in her heart rate and anger, Vision had quickly apologized. “Sorry Wanda.” Wanda shook her head and quickly resumed prepping. “I will try to work on making my presence known. If I may ask, what is it that you’re doing?”

“I’m making paprikash.” Vision’s mind grew curious at the word and quickly searched his database for it. “I see. A traditional Sokovian food.” Wanda didn’t realize it, but she had felt a little annoyed at the synthezoid’s presence. It wasn’t anything he did, but Wanda desperately wanted alone time for herself.

Before she could ask, Vision had said, “Good morning Y/n.” Wanda’s quickly grew wide as she avoided glancing in Y/n’s direction. She hadn’t stayed in the tense position though as Vision announced, “Oh - it seems she had left before saying hi back.”

Feeling ever more frustrated with people’s presence, Wanda was about to ask him to leave but noticed the confusion written all over his face and didn’t hesitate to ask, “What is it Vision?” Vision pursed his lips and contemplated his words. It was visibly obvious to see that he was trying to wrack up what to say. “I think...it’s just…” He sighed knowing that this was going to be a sensitive subject to the witch but knowing everything she's been through, lying was not the best option. “It’s just that Y/n-” Wanda quickly cut Vision off in desperation to know what Y/n had done to Vision. If the girl were to even lay a finger on him, she was sure to deal with it herself. “What did she do? Did she hurt you? I swear-” Seeing her eyes turn red, Vision immediately explained himself. “-No no no. It’s not that, the complete opposite actually.” Wanda’s eyes slowly turned back to normal. When Vision saw that her heart rate was close to normal, he continued. “It’s just that...Y/n’s vitals have been decreasing in a fluctuating matter. Some days it would be a small decrease, but some days it would be a big decrease. Overall, her health has been poor.” Vision looked back at where Y/n once stood. If he hadn’t quickly analyzed her, he wouldn’t have noticed that today’s vitals was record worst. “Although she does have physical injuries, she seems to continue to radiate pain throughout her body even when those injuries have healed. It starts through her head and it spreads like a radio wave through her nervous system. I’ve done my calculations and the leading cause could be migraines...” Vision soon was in deep thought, trying to recalculate just to make sure what he was about to say was correct. “...but it doesn’t make sense.”

Wanda tilted her head. Processing this information was hard seeing as at her darkest moments, she wanted nothing but Y/n to be hurt. She deserved it for all the pain she caused her to go through. But hearing it now? That was a different story. It was like an internal conflict was going through her. Should she even care about Y/n’s health? “What doesn’t make sense?” Vision looked hard into Wanda’s eyes as he said, “Migraines shouldn’t cause her heart to stop multiple times.”

Wanda stared at Vision, processing the information that the love of her life is practically dying. “A-are you sure?” Vision slowly nodded. “However, after some calculations, I do believe she will be okay. She only needs a good source of food for her healing regeneration to fully heal this.” Wanda relaxed at Vision’s words. Although she has been through immense pain through these past couple months, having Y/n gone from her life like that would hurt more than anything.

Before Vision could continue his explanation, F.R.I.D.A.Y stated, “Emergency alert. All available Avengers please head to the quinjet per the request of Mr. Stark and Mr. Rogers.” Quickly, the two headed to the plane as the important part of Vision’s explanation was missed. Little did Wanda know, Y/n would not heal any time soon.

The trio arrived on the quinjet and wasted no time trying to figure out the mission that was ahead of them. There was a serious feel in the atmosphere sensing that this had to be bad. There was no way that it couldn’t have been. Because if it wasn’t, they certainly wouldn’t have invited Y/n to this mission.

Lately, the girl has been assigned to only solo missions. Y/n couldn’t quite remember the last time that she was on a mission with any team member nevermind the fact with the whole team.

“Backup is needed immediately after touch down. Vision and Wanda, meet up with Steve and Sam at the Northeast corridor. Y/n, you are assigned to the entrance,” Tony stated through the intercom.

The feeling in Y/n’s stomach worsened. Not only was she hungry and sleep deprived, she didn’t also have a partner with her. It also didn’t help the fact that the flashes have gotten worse. Y/n couldn’t help but pray for a miracle. After all, they were dealing with the very people Y/n hated - Hydra.

Y/n couldn’t quite tell when things on the mission got to shit. Maybe it was the fact that as soon as they touched down and went to their assigned positions, Y/n received a massive swarm of Hydra agents. It didn’t help that her health regeneration was not at its peak or these agents actually were decently trained. Or was it during the third wave, that was currently happening, where Y/n tested the limits of her body.

Seeing the onslaught of agents coming her way, Y/n decided it was time to test out her new ability. She rapidly swung her right arm, building momentum as the fire within her right side blazed. As soon as the enemies were close, she released a fire tornado in their path. It had managed to take out at least half of the wave, but more and more kept coming.

Pressing her comms, Y/n said, “Can someone send back up my way?! There’s too many for me to handle.” Y/n kicked back the agent that was about to stab her in the back, but was too distracted to the point a different agent was able to cut her leg. “Fuck.”

Y/n quickly released an ice wall that at first glance, appeared to be the same height as the Great Wall of China. She hoped the barrier would give her enough time for her backup to appear. Focusing all her energy on her fireside, Y/n aimed at any agent near her, using her arm as a flamethrower.

However, worry immediately grew when no one had responded to her call within a couple minutes. Before she could request again, Nat had spoken bitterly in the comms, “On my way.” Sighing in relief, Y/n continued to fight off the agents the best she could.

But no matter how hard she tried to buy herself time, it seemed that Natasha was taking forever to come. It had gotten to the point that multiple lashes already appeared. Her healing regeneration couldn’t keep up at all. Not only that, but her body was either giving up from exhaustion or blood loss. It was only during the last couple agents when Natasha had shown up and quickly killed the remainder.

Y/n glanced at the assassin and noticed the lack of any injuries on her and it was as if she barely broke a sweat. “What happened? I almost got killed.”

Natasha glared at Y/n as she responded with, “I helped Bucky and Rhodey on the way, they needed it.” Y/n swallowed the lump in her throat knowing the redhead in front of her had practically lied. If backup was needed, it was always voiced through comms.

Even if Y/n had wanted to confront Natasha about it, she couldn’t. Natasha had already left to head to the quinjet. Y/n simply limped a couple feet from her. When Y/n arrived, it seemed that everyone else was already prepared for take off. Feeling ever more guilty, Y/n simply sat at the closet seat to the entrance that was away from the team. But something inside her broke even more noticing the lack of any questions or concerns from the team in regards to her injuries.

Not even bothering to buckle up, Y/n sulked in her thoughts when she realized, “Why doesn’t anyone care about me?”

Tag List: @halobaby @arelyitsherec8 @blackxwidowsxwife @cristin-rjd @madamevirgo @trikruismybitch @paradiselost916 @mmmmokdok @morbid-gaymer @dailyavengering @itsnottilly @helloalycia @randomshyperson @tomy5girls @daenerys713 @ensorcellme @lezzzbehonesthere @imagine-reblog @sighsam

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #fake memories

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jiminiesfavouritecolourisblue · 3 years

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Is there somewhere - BTS royal / bodyguard au Drabble part 4

So after this I was thinking of writing some prequels to the Drabble series before moving ahead with time and the challenges these lovely characters would face ongoing. Same with the CEO drabbles, as always let me know what you think {angst and fluff ahead}

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You hadn’t seen them for a month. You told yourself you were glad, that it didn’t hurt you that they gave up. You asked them to leave, you would stick by that, and this proved you right.

These things happened for a reason, you tell yourself, and while life was still a dense cloud hanging over you, it didn’t rain. Since that night trouble stopped following you, no one approached you in the clubs, the paparazzi stopped following you, you felt safe again, by yourself without any bodyguards.

“I haven’t seen you in so long Y/n,” your childhood friend sat across from you at a little quaint cafe in the town closest to your castle. You would have invited her to your place but the mess increased tenfold, that being said, you think your father must be sending people to clean while you were out. He hadn’t said anything about it, you were grateful he hadn’t, you weren’t ready to have that conversation with the King. He was always too busy for you, so this gesture came as a shock.

“I’ve missed you Y/n,” Sana says taking your hand in hers and squeezing it earnestly. “I’ve been worried about you.”

“You don’t need to worry I’m okay,” you say reassuringly.

“Y/n it’s a cloudy day and you’re wearing sunglasses,” you take by her sarcasm she doesn’t sound convinced.

“I’ve got a headache that’s all,” you bury your head behind the brunch menu, pretending to look over the options as she hums in response. It had been years but she still knew you well, and this was nothing like you were.

“Who hurt my friend?” She asks reading through your behaviour like she read the newspaper articles about it online, hence the impromptu visit from half a world away despite her own busy schedule.

“Doesn’t matter, it’s in the past,” and yet it’s still so present. The wound might be healing but it was leaving a red swollen scar in its place.

She lets the subject drop noticing how your shield goes up.

“Your bodyguard is really hot, if you wanted to invite him in to join us I wouldn’t mind,” she wiggles her eyebrows playfully, trying to lighten the mood but her words have the opposite effect on you.

“My what?” You breathe, you don’t have bodyguards. You turn to face where her eyes are set behind you and sure enough, outside the glass windows trying to look conspicuous is a man in a suit you’d recognise anywhere. You hate how your heart starts to ache as it beats faster, how there’s a hum of electricity starting to burn under your skin.

“Is that not your bodyguard? You used to talk about them so much, that’s....” she squints her eyes at the male, who bows his head in panic realising he’s been caught. “Jin! Right?”

Every time you FaceTimed Sana one of the boys would be with you, not on the screen unless it was Jin or Jimin but professionally standing out of the cameras range staying with you trying not to smile as you gushed about them with her, begging one of them to say hello. Yoongi and Taehyung were the only ones to ever give in. They would say hello shyly before standing at their post, Jin and Jimin on the other hand would sit on the bed or sofa with you. Jimin would make you blush and tease you while talking to Sana, Jin would tell her all your bad habits and complain about you playfully. Namjoon and Hobi never gave in, you were close to breaking Jungkook’s resolve before he left.

“I’ll be right back,” you say to her, rising from your seat to walk to the guilty looking male who’s ears have turned red. He says something in his sleeve and you realise the others must be close by or at least contactable. It all suddenly makes sense, you hadn’t seen them, but that didn’t mean they weren’t there. The house, your father was far too busy to burden himself with your mess, the sudden calm around you where normally there’d be a bustle of cameras and people.

“Princess,” he greets you bashfully, embarrassed for getting caught and complicating things. “Funny seeing you here, I was just waiting for a friend...”

“Liar,” you whisper, but it’s loud enough to shut him up.

“I can explain,” his cheeks are going red like his ears, you don’t know what you feel. There’s an emptiness that presents its self in his presence, like your body is trying to protect itself by going numb, even though your heart is begging you not to.

“I don’t want to hear it right now,” you close your eyes at the wave of sadness that overwhelms you. “I think you need to leave.”

You repeat your words from a month ago and it still cuts through him the same as it did then.

“I can’t...” he shuffles awkwardly from foot to foot.

“Jin you’re not my bodyguard anymore, this is harassment,” your cold eyes pierce through him but he stands strong against your onslaught.

“Actually...” he tries to chuckle but it dies as soon as it leaves his mouth. “Well you see, w-we- no your father... the king,” there’s a pause as he clears his throat and his hesitation irritates you.

“We’ve been reinstated as your bodyguards by order of the King,” a new voice behind you saves the stuttering man in front. You can’t help the fists form at your side as your mouth sets itself in a line. You turn to face Namjoon with a stern expression.

“No.” He knew you’d be stubborn, he knew it was a little underhanded of them, but after that day they couldn’t leave you like this. They would give you space, hope they could redeem themselves slowly, but they also had to keep you safe. They didn’t care you were next in line for the throne, they didn’t care their feelings for you were inappropriate in their line of work, you meant the world to them, you were their friend, and they couldn’t leave you again.

“I’m really sorry Princess, but the decisions been made,” he answers you sincerely. “We won’t get in your way, you won’t know we’re here, bu-”

“I said no,” your lips are tight, eyes enraged as you clench your jaw. He sighs, but he knows it would take time to heal the rift between you and the seven men.

You were right when you thought the rest of them were close behind, Yoongi and Jimin walk into your field of vision behind Namjoon, blazers buttoned, Jimin’s hair jelled back, Yoongi’s hand in his pocket. The sight takes you back and it knocks your confidence a little.

“Well that’s treason Princess,” Yoongi reasons with a small smirk forming on his face. “I guess that would get rid of us for you, being beheaded by the King.”

You shake your head is disbelief, a big sigh leaving your lips as you close your eyes to gather strength.

“I can’t do this right now,” you walk away back to your friend who’s eyes haven’t left the interaction. “I’ll deal with this later.”

——————————————————————————

You wonder what happened to their promise to stay out of sight and out of mind the following Saturday.

Maybe you walked through the bad part of town on purpose, maybe you wanted to piss them off or put yourself in danger, maybe you just wanted some control. A man that looks like trouble wolf whistles as you walk in his direction, and you smile like he’s your salvation. You don’t make it another two steps as a hand grabs your arm forcefully. You turn to find an angry Hoseok glaring at the man now cat calling you before turning his glare to you, nostrils flared like a bull about to charge.

You physically have to stop yourself from gulping at his aura, you know if pushed Hobi would cause harm to anyone that disrespected you. His grip on your arm tightens as the man doesn’t stop yelling profanities at you, he’s obviously intoxicated not that it excused his behaviour. Hobi hadn’t spoken a word, you can see him trying to ground himself and his anger, starting to lose his control, trying to regain his cool.

The guilt washes over you at his gaze, your smirk long gone as you struggle to keep eye contact. He hasn’t seen your face soften like this in so long, a glimpse of the old you coming back with concern.

“Hobi I’m sorry,” you whisper. “Let’s just go.”

His eyes are shut and he’s shaking with fury, at the man, at you, at himself.

“Hobi please,” you cup his cheek with your palm, stroking your thumb against his skin, feeling panic rising in yourself. The man is in front of you both now and you feel shame for making such a stupid decision. You press your forehead against his jaw as he stares daggers at the man.

“Your boyfriend giving you problems sexy?” He wears a shit eating grin as he speaks. “You looking for a bit of fun?”

Your touch calms your bodyguard enough to clear the haze of anger that threatens to attack the man where he stands. He releases a big breath before taking your wrist and walking you both away, pace unforgiving.

He still doesn’t say a word as you both get to the car, he pulls open the backseat door aggressively, looking at you expectedly. You don’t argue, you don’t scoff, you don’t walk away. Your eyes are round, looking up at him, begging for forgiveness. How the tables turn.

You get in without complaint, flinching as he slams the door shut. He gets into the drivers seat, putting his seat belt on before staring at you through the rear view mirror, jaw still clenched. You look lost, he hasn’t started the car and he hasn’t stopped staring at you.

“The seatbelt Y/n,” it’s a low growl and you quickly move to lock yours in place at his tone. Your heart is beating so fast you think it’s trying to escape. You don’t blame it, your hands are curled on your knees like a child ready to be scolded and you can’t look ahead as he pulls off.

——————————————————————————

You didn’t say a word the whole journey, scared a single sound would set him off. His grip was unrelenting on the wheel, you don’t think he cooled down at all even though he made sure he wasn’t driving recklessly with you in the car.

He doesn’t take you back to the castle, he takes you to their place. They rarely used to be at home when they worked for you, the castle was large enough for them to stay and they had no reason not to. You hesitate to leave the vehicle when Hobi opens the door for you, he’s patient even through his fury. He holds a hand out for you to take like they used to.

You want to ask him what you’re doing here, why he’s brought you, but you decide to take his hand and let him lead you indoors.

“Princess?” It’s odd to see Jungkook in his normal clothes, to see any of them in their casual wear, it looks homely. They all stare between you and Hobi, looking confused as you both walked into the living room.

You were staring at the floor as he explained where you were when he was on duty, the others now looked at you in shock and disappointment. It was hard for you to hear too, like he was talking about someone else, another girl, you wished the ground would swallow you whole.

“Princess this really has to stop,” it’s Jimin that breaks the silence after Hobi’s speech. His usual sweet disposition was wiped away with worry. “I get it, we messed up, but you can’t keep doing this to yourself Y/n.”

You don’t raise your head to meet his words, you stay with your eyes down and feet cemented where you stood. There’s a finger under your chin but you move your head to the side to avoid it bringing your face up.

“We’re really sorry,” Taehyung whispers beside you.

They blamed themselves for everything you had been through since the moment they left, but how could they undo it, how could they make this okay? His words don’t comfort you, they hurt you, they bring up the night they left all over again. But you feel the sincerity in his words, how hoarse it sounds, filled with every desire to turn the clock back. It brings tears to your eyes, it makes you choke on the emotion rising in your throat. You want it to be okay too, but you couldn’t erase the abandonment they left you with.

There’s a hand rubbing your back soothingly as your bottom lip trembles and your shoulders shake trying to keep the sobs down.

“It’s okay,” the hand on your back moves to your hair, and Taehyung rests his lips on your temple as he speaks. “We hurt you Princess, shout at us, let it out, cry, just stop holding it in.”

If you did as he said it would make you vulnerable again, you’d be letting them in and you don’t know if you’re ready for that. But he wasn’t wrong, holding all the pain down without a healthy form of release was making that gaping hole in your chest erode the rest of you away.

“I’m-m s-so a-angry-” you struggle to get your words out, having to take a shallow breathe with each word as they came out in a sob and it physically hurt you to speak. “At all o-of you.”

Tae’s crying too, Jungkook’s behind you but you can hear him sniffle. You lean into the Taehyung, pushing your face into his neck as you close your eyes and break down, he doesn’t hesitate to bring his arms around you when you think you’re about to fall.

“You had each other,” you wail, not caring at how deranged you sounded. “I had no one, you left me when I was injured!” Your head drops to his chest as you bang your fist against Taehyung’s chest finally letting it all out, and he takes it without bracing himself for each hit. “I needed you and you guys broke me.

Who was I supposed to talk to? Do you know how ridiculous it sounds to the people of my world. My bodyguards abandoned me, so fucking what? Get new ones.”

You grip his top that’s stained with your tears, you’re so angry, so heartbroken and the only people that would listen and help where the ones to cause you this pain.

“But you weren’t just my guards, you were my friends and I thought you all felt the same.”

There’s a whisper of “we do” but you ignore it.

They’ve never seen you like this, not when Taeyeon revealed her true colours, not when Sana moved away, you had said goodbye to people before, it was a part of life but nothing compared to when they left you, and you knew why, you just didn’t want to admit to it out loud. You didn’t want their pity, the pathetic Princess who had no friends who fell in love with her knights in shining armour, the people who were employed to ensure your safety. Misplaced feelings because you had no one else, you could hear Namjoon’s lecture already. They had never see you that way, if they had they wouldn’t have left.

If only you knew the thoughts running through the rest of their brains, how could they tell you they were compromised, that they broke your trust by falling for you, that every protocol dictated to them in their training stated they couldn’t keep a charge safe if they had feelings for them, they had to resign. Looking back it was the worst decision they ever made, but at the time it seemed like the most appropriate.

You scoff through your tears, “if you felt the same you would’ve at least come to see me, but you didn’t, you would’ve at least called or texted but you blocked my number, I tried to contact you everyday for the first two weeks and it was like you all didn’t exist anymore.”

There’s a grasp softly pulling you out of Taehyung’s hold and he whines as you’re taken away. Namjoon’s eyes are red, he looks like he’s on the brink of tears himself, but he holds it together.

“We’re so sorry Y/n,” he could never stop saying it, even if he did earn your forgiveness it could never assuage the guilt that weighed on them. “We honestly thought it was the right thing to do, if we kne-”

“On what planet was that ever the right thing to do Joon?” You cut him off, you didn’t want excuses.

“We made a mistake, leaving you was a mistake but we made one before that,” you frown at his words, what mistake? He contemplates his words but there’s no way mince them, no way to make what he’s about to say any easier. He’s not trying to make excuses, he’s not trying to justify his behaviour he just wanted to be honest. “We fell in love with our charge, the biggest offence we could commit, the biggest threat to your safety was us.”

He watches your eyes go wide as tears streamed down your face, he waited for your disgust, your displeasure.

“We are so in love with you Princess, it killed us to leave you but you have to believe me when I say we thought it was for the best.”

You can’t breathe. He wants you to say something, he needs you to say something, anything. You just stare at him in disbelief until you find the words to speak.

“Are you so stupid?” You gasp, gaze flickering to all their faces, theyre holding their breaths. “Are you all so blind that you couldn’t see that I was in love with you too?”

It was Namjoon’s turn to stare at you in disbelief, their jaws dropped.

“How stupid could you be Namjoon! Did you even think for a seco-” your voice is muffled by his chest as he pulls you into him, and he finally lets himself cry. You were right he was so stupid, he always prided himself on his intellect but look at the mess he made. He holds you like he’d never let you go, tight like you’d disappear in his arms.

“I’m so sorry Y/n, I’m so sorry,” he whimpers and it breaks your heart, you’ve never heard the leader sound like this. You sigh deeply in his arms, warmth finally starting to fill the hole.

“It’ll be alright Joonie,” you hug him back and he’s so grateful for you in that moment. “We’ll work through it.”

You have to believe that you will. More arms wrap around you both, tears of relief, tears of hope mixed with apologetic whispers, words of comfort. You feel the warmest you have in months.

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i-did-not-mean-to · 2 years

Note

hi lovely! I was wondering if you could do a version of the self-harm fic but with the company instead? I found your other one very moving, I really loved it. You’re an amazing writer!

much love :)

Hey, my dear...As you know, I did not have a great day, so this prompt was inspiring to me tonight (unfortunately)

Here goes:

Picking

Words: 1,7 k

Characters : Company x Reader

Warnings: TW SELF-HARM!!!!

Thorin was angry at you; you could feel his searing rage in your bones and that alone was enough for you to fall back into old patterns of behaviour that you had thought dead and buried a long time ago.

“Let’s set up camp here,” he decided, nodding tersely at the small clearing.

You dismounted quietly, taking your bedroll, and keeping out of everybody’s feet and sights while they got a small fire going and assembled around it.

“What are you doing, dear?” Dori’s hand curved around yours like an iron vice, gently but steadily pulling away your fingers that had clawed through the leggings at your skin just above the knee.

Looking down, you could see the small hole that your nails had dug through the fabric…and the halo of blood around it.

“Oh, nothing, I had an itch,” you tried to deflect, but already, he was waving over Óin and Balin to take a look at you.

“It’s really nothing,” you squealed – suddenly panicked – and tried to cover the ruined garment and the injury beneath with your palm; it had been months and years since you had last given in to the shameful impulse that made you tear your skin off your flesh piece by piece in a nervous attempt to annihilate yourself.

Deep inside you, there was a hurt so immense, so writhing, so burning that – when it was poked awake – you couldn’t help trying to dig your way to its core in hopes of dislodging it for good; if that meant stripping away your own person layer by layer, that was alright by you.

The less there was of you, the better.

“We have been shamefully neglecting our friend here,” Dori whispered, throwing nervous glances around; it was always difficult to not have a female dwarf around for everyone – pebbles, humans, elves – felt immediately calmed and reassured by the universal spell of femininity.

“Show me,” Óin invited you gently and – after a second of pondering – you decided that their sad, slightly guilty gazes were worse than the indignity of having them look at the minor wound; only, when you pulled down the ruined leggings, a small gasp escaped their mouths in a quiet ‘whoosh’.

“Oh,” Balin sighed, rubbing a broad hand over his forehead in dismay, “dearest, whatever happened?”

Looking down, you could see the white scars criss-crossing your legs – knowing full well that your arms would bear a similar gridwork of old hurts – and flinched.

“Who did this to you?” Dori asked patiently.

“Me,” you admitted; it was awful, it was shameful, it was humiliating, but you didn’t want them to believe you a victim of abuse when really, you were naught but a stupid creature unable to deal with their own life and the expectations bound to it.

“You?” Óin was aghast; his mission and vocation were to heal what was hurt, he could not understand how someone could inflict pain upon themselves, but – within a second – his gruff face mellowed somewhat, and he blinked slowly as he understood that this was a gaping injury of the mind far beyond the tiny wound in your flesh.

“Let’s get you packed up warmly, you can borrow one of Ori’s trousers,” Dori smiled gently, “I’ll get Nori to wash out your own before I mend them.”

Every time Thorin’s gaze fell upon you, you flinched, but – resolutely – you clawed your fingers into a strand of your hair, twisting and tugging hard, instead of ruining darling Ori’s trousers on top of your own.

“Are you okay?” the self-same dwarf asked, sidling up to you, “Nori said there was blood and a hole in your leggings. Were you injured?”

His soft eyes – full of genuine worry – made your own burn with tears unshed.

“I am quite alright, it’s…” you tried to explain the overwhelming need to punish yourself not only for doing something wrong but also for feeling so pathetically helpless about it; the ache of your body – a clean, healthy, pulsating pain – felt purifying and reviving to you, and it gave your mind an anchor.

“It’s okay,” Ori smiled, nodding at Fíli and Kíli just hovering at the side-lines to swoop in.

Did everyone know about this already? Did they communicate by telepathy?

“You have to forgive Óin,” Fíli explained as if he had read your mind, “he’s a bit deaf and we overheard his conversation with Balin. They’re really worried about you.”

“Oh, I’m sure they are,” you replied in a disgusted tone, “this kind of weakness must be utterly distasteful to a people as proud as you!”

Kíli cocked his head at you in confusion.

“No?” he said slowly and cautiously, “We value you for who and what you are; we also pride ourselves on looking after our own. Upon learning that someone has turned violent against themselves, we naturally wonder what might have inspired such a desperate measure.”

“Sadness, loneliness, incompetence,” you replied tonelessly.

“That’s not a reason to hurt yourself,” another gruff voice resounded from behind and – before you could turn around – Dwalin’s solid, heavy hand landed on your shoulder, “when you do something wrong, you’ll be sure to be told about it by our esteemed king in no unclear terms.”

As if you hadn’t noticed.

“Then, you say sorry and – in time – it will be forgiven and forgotten,” Dwalin went on, “if we believed that wrongdoings should be punished by maiming ourselves, there would not be a single dwarf on this quest in this very second. We’d all be a pile of bones for the bloody Elves to play one of their fancy party games with.”

“I don’t do it willingly,” you whispered shakily, “sometimes, it just happens. It just…oh, it sounds so dumb, but it gives me relief.”

“Eh, Kíli is not willingly dumb as a rock sometimes,” Dwalin laughed, “but we still have hope that he’ll improve.”

By now, most of the others crowded around you like solid, plump chickens all looking to hatch a particularly beaten up and badly cracked egg.

“Maybe,” Bofur offered, “we shall teach you a few bawdy, impolite songs.”

Bifur whispered something into Bombur’s ear which made the rotund dwarf laugh heartily enough to make his whole frame quake.

“Cousin Bifur says that cursing is a very good way of relieving pressure,” Bombur translated, “and that – if we ever get too much – you might consider hurting us instead. He suggests a headbutt or a hearty shove. Ah, and he can teach you a few select signs to tell anyone – the king included – to mind his own business.”

“I would never,” you squeaked indignantly.

“Just an idea,” Bofur laughed, giving his cousin a fond pat on the shoulder, “either way, friend, you’re safe with us.”

“I am a disgrace,” you muttered dejectedly.

“No, you’re not,” a deep, velvet voice cut through the ambient chatter, “you are here to help. I am sorry if I’ve been needlessly hard on you, and I want you to know that I am very grateful that you’ve decided to join us.”

The king looked down on you with a calm, steady, and – it seemed – rather affectionate expression in his deep blue eyes.

“Unfortunate accidents, ludicrous injuries, and persistent ailments are no strangers to us,” he added, waving his ringed hand at the company encircling you, “and I am thankful for each and everyone of those dwarves – pig-headed, half-deaf, a tad too old, a tad too young, or otherwise seemingly useless as they may be – because they’ve chosen me, and I’ve chosen them.”

“You’re doing alright,” he whispered as he ostensibly picked up another log to put into the fire, “don’t let your mind get the best of you.”

“Tea,” Bilbo Baggins declared, handing you a warm cup of calming brew with a fond smile, “I understand you, but I am on Bifur’s side here. Knock their stone-heads together, put nettles in their bedroll, curse them out in your mother tongue…but don’t actually hurt them.”

“Hurt them?” you asked, shocked beyond words.

“Oh yes, they’re terribly worried about you,” Bilbo nodded wisely, “even Glóin has offered to part with some coin to get you a sturdier pair of leggings as soon as possible.”

“Oh!” You were rendered utterly speechless by so much interest and genuine care from their side.

“They’re not bad people,” Bilbo whispered conspiratorially, “and we are all rather fond of you.”

“I am alright,” you promised, forcefully shoving away the shame that had led to the relapse as much as the mortification about the setback itself.

“That’s all we need to hear,” Bilbo smiled, “now go and make merry with the other youngsters!”

When you turned around, Fíli and Kíli were teasing Ori about some book or other. You knew for a fact that they cared deeply for each other; maybe, you would have to take that leap of faith and believe that – even if they knew, maybe because they knew about your weakness – they could love and respect you all the same.

“Say,” Kíli looked up, “how about we play a prank on Uncle Thorin?” His eyes twinkled with delight as he pulled you and his two co-conspirators deeper into the forest and – very soon – that deplorable incident was almost forgotten; they would keep the darkness at bay, vowing to give you a thousand other – not necessarily more productive, but certainly more entertaining – ways to deal with your anxiety.

“It’s like cleaning your room,” Kíli nodded wisely while he shovelled insects into his uncle’s bedroll, “if you let it pile up for too long, it just gets too much, and you simply want to throw everything out.”

“You never clean your room,” Fíli exclaimed in a roar of subdued laughter.

“See? I am a master in equanimity,” Kíli winked, “and I will teach you.”

“You’re a lazy bugger,” Fíli muttered under his breath and then, turning to you, he added: “But yes, please come to us when you feel nervous or overwhelmed. Watching these two will remind you how much worse things could be!”

I hope this brings you and anyone else who is in need of comfort some solace :D

Lots of love from me <3

The reference fic with the Fellowship -> Here

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simsadventures · 3 years

Text

Panopticon: Chapter 27: War Path

Alpha Steve x Omega Reader

Summary: Steve is livid and tries to find you but somebody keeps putting obstacles in his way. You, on the other hand, get to meet the devils and learn some harsh truths.

Warnings: a/b/o dynamics, angst, abduction, slight mentions of torture, life in captivity, lying, swearing, mentions of violence against women, shitty people in general, loads of feels, I would hope, mentions of suicide, mentions of death

Word Count: 3800

A/N: Du dun… Who is ready for some angst? Many of you weren’t happy that we’re taking this route, but it needed to happen because the world is full of assholes who try to make people unhappy. Anyway, so excited about this one, and I can’t wait for you to tell me what you thought. Love you all!! xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist

< Previous Chapter

“That won’t help to find my Omega, so no!” Steve yelled across the whole room, and even the experienced Alpha fighters gathered in the room couldn’t help but shudder at Steve’s authoritative voice. They were trying to help, coming up with new ideas to try and bring the Circle down, or at least make somebody from the inside communicate with them to tell Steve and his team the location of his Omega. But no idea was good enough for Steve.

It had been four days. Four days without his precious Omega, and Steve felt like he was slowly losing his mind. He desperately needed you next to him, just to feel your warm, soft skin pressed against his, or to see the light in your eyes whenever you looked at him. But he had nothing.

He often saw broken Alphas after all that went down on Earth a few years ago, and while he couldn’t really imagine what they must have been feeling at that time, walking like dead men, some of them on the brink of death because they just couldn’t handle their lives without their loved ones, Steve understood it all now.

He knew he had to concentrate because he felt you in his veins, felt that you were alright considering the circumstances and, most importantly, that you were still alive. That was the sole reason why he didn’t end it yet. But he was hanging on a thread because each day and night he had to spend without you, his mind was going just a little more insane. He was hearing your voice and this morning, he even saw you standing by the bed. He was elated, but when he blinked a few more times, he realised that it was his brain playing tricks on him and that none of what had happened was just a nightmare.

Moreover, he had to orchestrate a funeral for Peter and Gamora. The sadness over their loss was embedded deep in Steve’s soul, and he knew he would never get over it, even if he got you back. When he got you back, he scolded himself every time he thought of it, but it was to no avail. The desperation and pain seeped deep into his bones, and the once positive Alpha, who used to be full of life was just a walking shell of numbness.

Sam and Bucky tried to pick up the mood in the room now and then, but they knew all too well that there was nothing they could say or do to make the situation better. The only thing Steve really needed was to get you back, and they empathised with him. Moments after the realisation hit them that you were indeed gone, they rushed to their own huts to check on their own mates. Their bonds felt fine, but the fucked-up situation got into their heads, and they needed to see their loves for themselves. Both Meera and Tina were sitting comfortably in their houses, unaware of the terror going on just mere meters away from them. They all spent the afternoon scenting and crying, their hearts clenching for their friend who was lost in his thoughts and his pain.

But Steve tried to come up with a solution. He knew Rumlow would take you somewhere far, but not far enough not to brag about it. The circle was almost a day drive so Steve would have bet Rumlow’s hiding place was somewhere between his own house and the hell house they called the Omega haven. But that was still too much land to cover just by foot or by car, since there were so many abandoned houses and warehouses, not even talking about all the hidden places deep in the forests. So, just going somewhere blindly was not an option.

Then, he thought of using what was left of the functioning camera system between the city and his lands, trying to see if he could pinpoint at least the direction where Rumlow and his team went. But he came up with nothing since most of the cameras had been destroyed soon after the war had started.

Steve even thought of taking some military dogs and making them sniff your clothes to find you, but that would mean hundreds of kilometres to search, and that was just impossible. Every single thing Steve came up with was a nonsense, and the longer he couldn’t figure out how to find you, the more desperate and angry he had become. His people knew it was nothing personal, but his yelling and blaming was sometimes too difficult to bear for any of them. Steve knew he was being a dick, and he apologised every time his nerves got the better of him, but it was like he couldn’t do anything about it.

It was when Bucky spoke up with a guilty look that Steve finally got a good idea from somebody. Not that he particularly liked it, but it was something useful at last, and Steve was actually quite angry with himself for not thinking of it sooner. The idea was to call Peggy because she was always able to find Rumlow a little easier than the rest of the world. How that worked exactly Steve never asked, because Peggy was one of those who kept their work pretty shut, and she wouldn’t brag or even talk about it, so Steve had barely any idea of what Peggy really did. There used to be times when he minded when it drove him up the wall, but not anymore. He didn’t care how she did it, the only thing Steve needed was to get you back.

He called her almost immediately, listening to her smooth voice as she assured him that she would devote a majority of her time to help him because, after all, she still cared for him very much. Steve thanked her from the bottom of his heart and resolved to wait for her to come back to him since there was literally nothing else to do for him but to wallow in his pain.

Surprisingly, it only took a few hours for Peggy to reach out and tell Steve that she might have found him. His heart started beating like crazy as if feeling that he might be getting you in his arms sooner than he expected. Peggy told him that she got the memo that Rumlow was hiding in an old warehouse south of the manor, around 70 kms away, and Steve just growled, knowing he was kind of right in his assumptions. He quickly gathered his team, not really speaking much, but they all understood. This was a life or death mission because most of the team was sure Steve wouldn’t survive that if they didn’t find you.

Steve pretty much jumped out of a moving car when they neared the building, and he got to work immediately, going into the commander mode, assigning roles and talking strategy for when they would come in contact with Rumlow’s team. Everything was meticulously planned, and Steve had a good feeling about that. The only issue was that he couldn’t smell you. But he simply thought that he was still far enough to be able to do that and that they were probably keeping you in some shutoff room.

The closer to the building they got, however, the weirder the whole situation felt. No men were standing outside on the lookout, there were no specific smells to tell the team that there were indeed people hiding inside, and when they finally got in, they found the place completely empty.

They rummaged through all the rooms, even in the basement and on the roof, but the only thing they got was some cloth lightly smelling like Rumlow, but not enough to tell them how long ago he was at the warehouse. Steve screamed in frustration because there was no sign of you, not even a hint of your smell that he so helplessly craved.

Bucky and Sam shared distressed looks before they each grabbed Steve from one side and brought him back to the car, hollering at the whole team that the mission was over and that they needed to come back home. Steve didn’t speak the entire ride back, just staring out of the window, thinking of all the times you two would take such rides to and from the city, always discussing new books or just sharing stories from your youths. Steve now found that he took these moments for granted. He enjoyed them, sure, but not enough. There was the nagging voice telling him that he should have done more, that he ought to have taken you with him to that fucking meeting, and none of this would have happened.

“Stop it, punk. None of this is your fault so stop with the self-blaming and call Peggy to tell you what the fuck happened that her tip wasn’t true,” Bucky interjected Steve’s thoughts, and as many times before, Steve wondered whether Bucky could just read him like an open book or if he had a direct link to his brain. Steve shook his head and dialled the number.

“So, happily ever after?” Peggy said smugly, and if she stood anywhere near Steve, he swore he would have hit her.

“Nothing and nobody’s fucking happy, Peggy. Nobody was there except for some piece of cloth that was supposed to smell like Rumlow. Who the fuck gave you this tip? I need to find my Omega, and I don’t have the time to drive around the city and march into every single abandoned building just because you have a hunch. I need real information, Peggy, and if you can’t give that to me, then you’re just wasting my time,” Steve said more tiredly than anything else, but Peggy’s face contorted in annoyance on the other end of the line.

“I never waste your time, Stevie, you remember that. Look, I thought the info was top-notch, but I’ll keep looking. How about I come to your place, and we can think of a plan together?”

“Yeah, yeah whatever, it definitely can’t harm us. I’ll be expecting you,” Steve sighed and hung up, nodding at Sam who was watching him through the rearview mirror.

“Peggy said she’d come and help from the mansion. I mean, I’d rather have the whole fucking team together looking for Y/N, but I can’t fly everyone here from god-knows-where, so anyone who wants to join in is welcomed.”

Sam nodded but didn’t like it one bit. He understood that Steve was desperate, but Peggy was and had always been bad news, and Sam had a hard time trusting her even back in the days when they had to fight side to side. All the secrecy surrounding her just stank, and Sam was sure he’d keep an eye on her, just in case. He wanted everything to go over smoothly for Steve, and nobody needed a sneaky bitch who would throw them under a train the second she got a better deal from the opposing side.

You let your hand slide on the ground underneath you. It was rough with what felt like small rocks that were cutting you in the palm. You were seated, and your whole body hurt since you have been in this position for hours. Nobody talked to you since they killed your friends and abducted you. They just blindfolded you and tied you up, changing positions every few hours probably to disorient you since you doubted anybody really cared how comfortable you were. All you could do was rely on your senses and learn as much about your surroundings as you could. You weren’t even sure why you cared, but your brain couldn’t take thinking about anything related to Steve, so you busied it by making sure you knew everything you could.

You learned that there were three places they would keep you in. You presumed that they were all in one room, but they changed whether you were sitting or lying down. You weren’t even sure what time it was and slept when they put you laid you down. Nobody ever touched you inappropriately, and that’s how you assumed not one of those people was Rumlow.

The first place they would let you sit in was in an old crinkly chair made of rough wood as you had a few splinters from rubbing your hands against the arm-holders. It had four metal legs, and from the sounds, it made every time you shifted, you thought it was a rather old and overused piece of furniture.

The second place was where you were sitting now. It was by the wall, which was cold and smelt of moss, and you even though you sensed death a few times, you knew that was just your exhausted brain playing games with you. The ground was full of rocks and shards of glass, so it was your least favourite place to be of the three. The ground was colder than all the other areas, and every time they made you stand up, there was a wet patch where your ass touched the ground as the coldness accumulated against your hot body, making you wish you could just change. But your abductees would never answer to your pleas, so after what you assumed were a few days, you just gave up asking them altogether.

The third place was a makeshift bed, created out of a few pieces of wood pushed together and an old and smelly mattress. You tried to ignore all that the smell evoked in you, but you sometimes choked on your own saliva as you shifted and changed position, getting another whiff of what smelt like a hundred of butts and sweat. But it was a mattress, and you could get a few hours of sleep, so you couldn’t dwell on the details.

When you found out everything there was with your surroundings you tried to pay attention to your abductors. And while you couldn’t say precisely how many there were, you had a pretty good idea. As you were an Omega, blindfolded and cuffed, they always came alone, and you recognised each of the people by their steps. There were four of them, each of them having differences in their weight, the length of their steps and the carefulness with which they handled you. That’s how you came up with the number of four.

Number two was by far your favourite. They (you assumed it was a he but you couldn’t be sure) would always leave you alone even when you needed to use the bathroom. You knew they were in the room, but they had the decency to at least not physically touch you, and, in your mind, you created this picture that the person even turned around to leave you to do your business. They would also give you the biggest amount of water, seeing how you were parched because number four was a complete asshole and would always allow only a gulp before he drastically took the cup away from your mouth.

And that was your days, filled with diverting your brain from thinking about the graver questions, like where were you, would Steve ever find you, what did they want from you, etc. Every time any of those popped up in your head, you choked up, and had to start touching your surroundings or else you’d have gone insane by now.

It was when number three was supposed to come and let you sleep that you heard it. It was faint, but your ears perked up at anything that wasn’t your own breath or the sound of boots of your abductors hitting the ground. And this was neither. These were human voices talking about something behind the door. Your heart-rate picked up immediately because, while you hated the routine of four guards and three positions, you also knew that routine was good. Anything that was out of the routine could possibly mean death to you, and you tried to do anything to avoid that. The voices grew nearer, and you shuddered involuntarily, bracing yourself.

When the door opened, the cold air hit your face, and you hid it between your shoulder blades.

“Well, well, well, here is the famous Omega the world is searching for. You look so pathetic, it’s actually quite funny,” you heard a female voice say, and your brows knitted together. You heard it before, you just couldn’t place the voice for the life of you.

“Yeah, well, the sooner she stops pining for that pathetic excuse of an Alpha and becomes mine, she will look much better. I mean, not that anybody’s gonna see her since she is just an Omega pussy, but she is my Omega pussy, so,” the man trailed off, and you didn’t have to think to place this voice. This voice haunted your worst nightmares, so you were pretty familiar with it.

Rumlow

“Whatever, Rumlow. All we need is to get rid of her mating mark, and we’ll be good. Steve called me and found the warehouse where I sent him empty, and I, as a devoted friend, told him I’d help him from the mansion so I’ll have easy access to him and I will divert him from here if need be. You just need to do what you must so that I can have him back,” the woman spat, and it was as if a light bulb switched on. God, you felt stupid for not suspecting she had her ugly fingers in this. Fucking Peggy who obviously wanted Steve back even when she visited him all those months ago.

And while it was nice that Steve didn’t feel the same, this woman was clearly a maniac, and she wouldn’t stop at anything to get what she wanted.

But, there was one more thing that caught your attention. They wanted to get rid of your mating mark, and the thought paralysed your whole body. There were only a few ways to do that to any mated couple, and none of them was humane or accepted by most people. You’ve heard of Omegas trying to sever their bonds as they didn’t like who chose them, and so they cut a clean line across their mark, but even then the bond couldn’t be severed completely. There was also the option of just biting an Omega hard enough where their mates’ mark was, and trying to beat mark with a mark.

You also heard that true mates were inseparable, and while Bruce told you that you were true mates, you could never know for sure. The inseparableness of true mates could just as well be some old maid tales, it was one of the things your mother used to tell you, but you had no idea where the truth was.

The only thing you did know was that however they wanted to do it, you would go through hell, both physically and mentally, and that there was a more than likely chance that you would die in the process.

“You’re not afraid she’ll die on you?” Peggy asked more curious than concerned because, for her plan to work, your ties with Steve had to be cut. She would have preferred killing you since it was easier, quicker and with long-lasting results. But Rumlow had been obsessed with you ever since he lost the fight with Steve back at the Circle. When Peggy heard about it, she just scoffed and told him he was an idiot, because if he would have called her, she could have just snuck you out without anyone knowing and they wouldn’t have been in this mess.

“I mean, there’s always the possibility, but I’m not letting her run around with his mark. I wouldn’t like pounding a pussy marked by somebody else. Besides, she’s stronger than she looks, isn’t it right, pussycat?” Rumlow asked, for the first time addressing you. But you knew better than to talk, so you just remained quiet, and from the low hum coming from his mouth, you assumed it was a good decision.

“And what if that bullshit about true mates is real?”

“Oh, please, not you too. Nothing like true mates exists, Peggy, I told you. Some just smell nicer to particular individuals than others, that’s it. I don’t even know why we’re losing time talking about this. Go and do whatever you want with Steve and his estate and I’ll just do what I want with this one,” Rumlow rumbled, and the next thing you heard was the clicking of high-heels against the hard floor, leaving you alone in the room with the devil.

“Now, sweetheart, I think we should begin, hm?”

“Oh, Stevie, you don’t look good. Here, let me bring you to your bedroom so you can rest and the team and I will search for your mate in the meantime, hm?” Peggy suggested nicely, and Steve nodded, happy there was somebody who could possibly save you. But before she put her claws on his arm, Sam appeared out of nowhere and stopped her hand. She hissed like a cat and Sam gave her an are-you-fucking-kidding-me look.

“I think it would be better if you stayed down here, Peggy, as you said, you are such a valuable asset to this team that I wouldn’t want to you to waste your time by going with Steve here. I will accompany him to his bedroom so that he can get some sleep, and, meanwhile, you can work with Bucky,” Sam smirked but didn’t wait for her response as he led Steve towards the staircase and up to his bedroom. There was no fucking way in hell Sam would let Peggy be with Steve alone. And since he shared his worries with Bucky, there were two of them looking out for their best friend, which left Peggy in a tough position.

She watched Sam and Steve leave the room, and Bucky would laugh hadn’t it been such a delicate situation, because Peggy really looked like the Goddess of Revenge. That just further proved Sam’s theory about Peggy being fishy, to say the least, and Bucky was starting to question whether she didn’t have something to do with your disappearance.

Peggy saw right through them, and she smirked to herself. If they wanted to play games with her, so be it. She would get Steve alone and inject the serum in him she had been making for so long, and they would finally live happily ever after. Just like they were supposed to. All she needed was to stay close to Steve for a couple of days, get him alone enough times, and he would be all hers.

/ Next Chapter >

Tags will be in reblogs xx

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naruwoe · 2 years

Text

lead the way [naruto oc fic]

Melancholy au but Ren can see ghosts

Tw: Ghosts and the undead, and references to gore and how they died. Mentions of self harm and suicide/suicide idealization.

feat! @uchihashisuii‘s akari nara bc i care her

ao3 link

When Ren was small, his mother and father sat him and his brother down and gave them a talk.

His father stared out their kitchen window the entire time, while his mother held each one of their hands and told them softly about something that had happened to their family before Ren and Takeshi were even born.

“It’s important you know.” She said. “And that we don’t hide it from you . We want you both to hear it from us instead of other people.”

Something bad had happened, and a lot of people in their family died, because men in charge made bad choices.

Takeshi cries about it, grieving the aunts and uncles and cousins and grandparents he will never know.

Ren sees them everytime he looks out the window.

“What’s your name?”

Ren’s feet take him on the familiar path. He’s not far from his home, the forest just right outside their door, and if his mother didn’t want him to explore she’d tell him so. A crow flies above them, flitting from one branch to the next, ever moving as they do.

“Shisui.” The man’s arms swing at his sides, and despite his eyes being closed, he doesn’t trip.

“How do you know where you’re going?” Ren asks, carefully stepping over a root. Shisui’s cold hand helps steady him, and it chills his whole body.

“Instinct.” He says simply. “I probably know these woods better than anybody.”

Ren bites his lip, silently staring up at him. He’s old, older than ten that’s for sure. Ren grasps Shisui’s cold hand in his despite the chill, and a delicate black brow raises in confusion.

“Well. You should hold my hand anyways. You don’t wanna trip.”

Shisui doesn’t open his eyes, but Ren doesn’t need to see his eyes to know he’s confused.

“…Thank you.” He says after a long moment, slowly smiling. “No one has held my hand in a long time. It’s nice.”

They walk in the forest for a while, just Ren and Shisui and the crow that follows them until his mother’s frantic voice calls him home.

“I’ll walk you back.” Shisui says, and leads Ren through the bushes and trees.

“There she is.” He says, stepping out of the forest at Ren’s side.

“How did you know?” But when Ren looks up, Shisui’s gone, his hand left hovering where the other once was.

“Ren!” his mother cries and she scoops him into his arms. “You know you’re not supposed to go anywhere without me!” She pulls away, and he feels a little guilty making her worry.

“I wasn’t alone though,” his hand is still cold from where he held Shisui’s. “I was with Shisui.”

Her brow furrows, and she picks him up and cradles him close.

“You’re freezing- It’s the middle of summer too, Takeshi’s already sick- Come on, let’s get inside okay.”

Ren says nothing, and instead curls into his mother’s warmth.

The crow flies above them and from over her shoulder, Shisui hangs near the forest, a soft smile on his face and empty black eyes staring at him.

“Mom.” Ren asks over dinner that night. Ichigo sits next to her, all of two years old and refusing to eat the dinner she so carefully prepared.

“Yes sweetheart?” She says, not looking up at him, but instead carefully trying to spoon some of Ichigo’s rice into his mouth.

“Do you know someone named Shisui?”

Takeshi laughs as his father chokes on his tea, and Ren has to fight the instinct to giggle with his twin.

“Sasuke-kun! Are you alright?” His father coughs into his fist, and sniffles.

“I’m fine.” His dark eyes meet Ren’s and he wants to sink into his seat, just a little. “Where did you hear that from.”

“I read it.” He lies.

His father’s dark brows furrow, and his mother looks confused between the both of them.

“Can you read?”

“I’m five.” His father just stares at him, as if that doesn’t answer his question.

“Dad,” Takeshi leans over onto the table. “Mom taught Ren and me how to read forever ago. We’re really good at it.”

It’s a tense few seconds, and Ren regrets asking in front of his father until the man just sighs, settling back into his seat.

“Well…” His mother starts. “I don’t think I’ve ever known someone named Shisui. You said you read the name in a book?”

“Yeah. I think he was um, a ninja, so I wanted to know if you knew!”

“You shouldn’t concern yourself.” His father says answering for her. He pushes his plate back and stands away from the table. “I need to get going.”

“Sasuke-kun-” His mother starts, but from upstairs Ayame starts to cry. “Oh no- Don’t leave yet! Ren help Ichi, will you? I need to get your sister.” She looks tired. He swaps places with his mother as she frantically leaves their kitchen to go check up on the baby.

His father doesn’t wait.

“Way to ruin dinner Ren.” Takeshi murmurs from his seat. He pushes the meat on his plate with his chopsticks, and Ren tries not to take it to heart. Ichigo, thankfully, eats every bit that Ren spoons into his mouth.

It’s strange. He sees these people so clearly. They’re pale and cold, but their hands are solid when they stroke back his hair, or hold his hand.

“Sweet dreams my little one.” The woman kisses his forehead, the cold from her lips lingering on his face.

“Goodnight.” He whispers back. From across the room Takeshi groans, rolling over in bed to glare at him.

“Stop talking to the air Ren. You’re so weird.”

Ren sits at the edge of the small dock overlooking the lake. Above him Shisui’s crow flies, and he hears the soft footsteps of the man walk up beside him. Gently Shisui sits next to him, his feet barely skimming the surface of the water.

“It’s a beautiful day huh?” He hums. Ren looks up at him and, yes, his eyes are still closed. Ren can see him better in the light. The paleness of his skin, how it looks like he’s crying, if not for how dark the ‘tears’ that ran down his cheeks were, how despite the heat, the arm that presses against Ren’s is frozen to the touch.

“You can’t see, how d’you know.” He pulls his legs closer to his chest, resting his head on top of his knees.

“Well the land of fire is a beautiful country. I don’t need to see it to know.”

“Do you see from the crow?” It caws as he asks, as if answering his question for him.

“Well that is certainly a thought. What do you think, Ren?”

He hums for a moment, looking out over the surface of the lake. There’s a small disturbance, as a wet head peaks up and out of the still water before going under again.

“I think you’re dead.”

Shisui hums his answer and Ren turns his head to look up at him. Two empty eyes stare down at him.

“You really think so?”

The sight alone should scare him. But.

“I’ve seen things for a long time.”

Shisui leans back, laying on the wood surface of the dock.

“There’s a lot of people who walk around the village and there’s something off with them. They always look hurt, or they’re missing something. There’s a lady who kisses me goodnight and sings songs to help me sleep, and sometimes when dad’s home she sits with him and holds his hand. She looks really sad.”

“Aunt Mikoto. She’s your grandma.”

“And,” Ren leans over the dock. The drowned girl looks up at him, pale eyes wide just under the surface of the water. “There’s a girl in the water. Sometimes I think she wants to drag me in. Mom won’t let us swim here.”

“Yeah.” Shisui kicks his legs back and forth. “She’s been here before me even.”

“Oh.” He hums, watching her disappear into the darkness. “That’s really sad.”

“Ren!” His mother calls. He leans around the corner, looking into the kitchen where his mother fusses with something. Baby Aya is securely wrapped close to her chest, sleeping softly. She’s so cute, soft downy black hair, cheeks round and pink. Ichigo fusses at the table and it’s a miracle it doesn’t wake her.

“Yeah mom?” He stands at the doorway, hanging off it. Their heights are recorded, Ren and Takeshi and Ichigo’s in thick black marker. Ren looks forward to the day Ayame will be able to stand up and get her height marked too.

“Can you walk this to your Aunt Akari’s for me?” She drops the little package in Ren’s outstretched hands, a little box carefully wrapped in flower printed cloth. “It’s for Itsuki.”

“Sure.” He says, because his mom looks tired and ragged dealing with both Ayame and Ichigo, and Ren loves his mom. “Can Takeshi come with me?”

“Oh I’m sorry sweetheart,” She cups his cheek, bending down to give him a kiss. “He went to play at Seto’s.”

Ren smothers the disappointment in his heart and smiles wide at his mother. “That’s okay. Can I see if Kaiga’s home on my way back?”

“Sure sweetie.”

She sees him out, waving at him as he takes the dirt road from their home down towards their village. The Uchiha property is large, their families land gifted back to them once his parents had both Ren and Takeshi. There’s the older part, the one dad doesn’t like to go to or talk about and won’t let him or Takeshi go near-

And then there’s the forest.

Shisui appears beside him, eyes closed as always with his crow flying ahead. Ren curls his fingers into Shisui’s cold ones, and he grips them tightly, ignoring how it chills him to the bone.

“Everything alright?” Shisui asks, swinging their arms back and forth together. “You’re usually more chatty.”

Ren just shrugs, keeping his eyes glued to the ground. Even though Shisui’s dead, Ren feels more at ease with him here, rather than if he was alone.

“C’mon,” Shisui squeezes Ren’s hand, a soft smile on his face. “You’re sad about something. Tell me, promise I won’t tell.”

Ren snorts, just a little, and Shisui tugs him in response. “What’s so funny!”

“You can’t tell anyone anyways.”

“Pfft- I could tell your Grandma. Or maybe even your Grandpa! There’s also this really grumpy guy named Madara-”

“You can’t tell, but I’m rolling my eyes.”

“Ouch.” Shisui hums. “But really, what's wrong Ren? You can talk to me.”

Ren kicks a rock and watches it tumble down the path. “I just…” He thinks of his twin, and it feels like Takeshi is slowly pulling away. “I miss my brother.”

Shisui kneels down to Ren’s height, and when did they stop walking.

“I’m sorry Ren.” Carefully he’s pulled into a hug, and despite the cold of Shisui’s body, he feels warm deep inside. “I don’t have a brother, but I can sort of relate.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. I had a best friend who had to do something really terrible. What happened to us wasn’t fair. I had to be away from him and it was really hard.”

Ren pulls away and wipes at his face.

“I’m sorry Shisui.”

“It’s okay.” He ruffles Ren’s hair and smiles.

“What happened to your friend?” The smile dims somewhat, and Ren knows he’s just saving face for him.

“Maybe a story for another time. I just get what it means to miss your friends. C’mon, let’s keep going alright?” Shisui stands again, and Ren slips his hand into his.

Ren drops his hand from Shisui’s once they get into the village proper. There’s not many ghosts around there, or, none that Ren can really see. The walk to Aunt Akari’s was through the Nara’s forest, and while most outsider’s were not allowed entrance without permission-

Ren was pleased he was a special case. He passes Kazuo as Ren walks by, who steps off the path enough to make room.

“Heading to see Auntie ‘Kari?” He says, pausing just for a moment. A man hovers just behind the older boy with the same colored hair as Kazuo.

“Yep!” He holds up the box his mother had given him. “Mom made some medicine for Itsuki.”

“Oh that’s good, think they were running out. Hey, stop by Uncle Shikamaru’s before you leave, ‘kay?”

Ren nods and watches as Kazuo takes off down the path. The man behind him stays there, just a moment, eyes locking onto Ren’s before following him. His eyes are a milky white, just a tad unnerving and it sends a shiver down Ren’s spine. Shisui’s hand is cold on his shoulder, the grounding presence Ren needs before he makes his way further down the path.

“Who’s Aunt Kari?” Shisui asks as they get closer to their home.

“Oh, you’ll like her,” Ren says as they near the house. “You’ll see.”

He knocks on the door as a formality before pushing it open. “Aunt Akari!” He calls into the quiet house.

“In here!” She calls back. Shisui stills behind him. There’s a flurry of activity in the kitchen, and Ren smiles to himself as he slips his sandals off and makes his way in deeper.

“Ren!” Aunt Akari scoops him up into a hug, literally sweeping him off his feet. Warm kisses are pressed to his head, and he stifles a giggle as she cuddles him. “What are you doing here?”

He holds out the cloth wrapped box out to her. “Mom made some more medicine for Itsuki.”

“Oh, you’ll thank her for me will you?” She stands, turning to put it on the counter, and suddenly Shisui is beside her. His fingers brush her cheek, and Akari shudders a little, hand coming to gently touch the same spot.

“It’s you.” He whispers, almost reverently.

“Do you want something to drink, Ren?” She busies herself at the fridge, pulling out a pitcher and then some glasses from the cabinets.

“No thank you, I was going to visit my friend. Where’s Uncle Obito and Reina?” There’s a twitch to Shisui’s hand, and he pulls away.

“Oh they’re out bonding, you know, causing trouble, burning down trees, things like that.” She gives him a soft wink.

“Ren,” Shisui’s voice is soft, suddenly behind him. It makes him jump, which causes his Aunt to give him a strange look.

“You okay sweet boy.” She kneels to his level, brushing his bangs away. Her brows furrow, and her hand is warm on his cheek. “You have a burn there- let me get some salve okay, that must sting.”

She stands, walking past him, and Shisui’s head follows.

“Ren, ask her,” He swallows thickly, gathering his thoughts. “Ask her what's under that collar. Please. I think she will, if it’s you.”

There’s a beat until she comes back, and she effortly swings him up and sits him on the counter.

“Please,” Shisui pleads, standing behind her.

“Auntie ‘Kari.” he mumbles as she dabs some burn salve onto his lip.

“Yes sweet boy?”

“You um, you always wear those turtlenecks. Why don’t you ever wear something else?” She stills a moment, and from behind her Shisui hangs his head into his hands.

“Well I just like them. Kinda like how your dad’s a fan of those high collared shirts and ponchos, or like how Uncle Obito’s allergic to shirts.”

She pats his cheek and helps him down. Her hand lingers at a spot, just below her neck, and her smile seems just a little more sad.

“Thank you for bringing me the medicine Ren, get home safe okay?”

“Okay.”

They part with a hug, and Auntie Akari watches him go down the path, until he rounds a bed and he can’t see her anymore.

“Sorry Shisui.” he says to the empty air. “I can try and do better next time.”

“It’s okay.” says the voice on the wind.

Above him Shisui’s crow flies ahead.

“Is your bird alive?” Ren is ten years old with skinned knees and cheeks tanned from the sun. He squints past the sun to look into the trees, where Shisui’s bird sits, dark eyes staring into the distance. Shisui hasn’t aged a day since Ren first met him, nearly five years ago.

“I don’t know, is it?” Shisui asks back, and Ren makes a face at him, full well knowing he can’t see it. Or maybe he can. Ren tilts his head at the crow. It tilts its head back.

“Can you see me?”

“I can always see you, Ren.” Shisui laughs, opening his hollow eyes at him. “Just look at how big my eyes are!”

It’s a grotesque sight. Ren can’t imagine how much it must have hurt. The goofy voice Shisui uses though makes him laugh.

“Yuck!” He giggles, giving the man a soft shove. “You’re gross Shi-nii!”

Shisui stills. If he had eyes, the other would be staring straight at Ren. Now, empty eye sockets just lock onto him. “What did you call me?” He says, soft as a whisper.

“Shi-nii…” He bites his lip, frowning just the slightest. “Was that bad- I’m sorry, I won’t do it ag-oof!”

Freezing arms wrap around him, pulling him close into a solid chest. Shisui is cold, he’s always cold, and smells like the river. But he’s as real and solid as any other person Ren knows.

“Thank you…” He says softly. Ren returns the hug, just as eagerly. “I’ve never had-I’ve never been- thank you.”

There is a woman in their home. No one else can see her, but for him, and at nights when he tip toes into Minoru’s nursery, she’s there, humming a lullaby to help him sleep.

“I used to sing this to your daddy,” She says, stroking baby soft hair as Minoru fusses and whines. “He used to squirm around just like you.”

If she hears Ren, she doesn’t let him know. Instead, he steps quietly up beside her and peers into the crib.

“Did you hear that, Mino-chi? You’re just like dad.”

Her cold hand settles atop his head, smoothing his hair down in soft strokes.

“Thank you Ren.” She says. Something breaks a little in his, just a chip. He wishes his grandparents were actually there, then maybe dad would be around more, maybe things would be different. Better.

Maybe Shisui would be alive too.

“Ren?” His mother pushes open the door and in a blink, Ren’s grandmother is gone. “Were you talking to someone sweetie?”

“No mom,” He lies. “Just to Mino.”

There’s a man following his father. He’s shorter, just an inch or so, and his hair is long and tied back. He watches with a soft, fond smile as Takeshi takes off to meet their father. Ren can’t hear the loud excited words his twin shouts, but there’s the beginnings of a smile on Sasuke’s lips.

Something dark curls in his gut, and he hates it. Why doesn’t dad ever look at him like that?

“What’cha watchin’ Ren?” Shisui asks. His crow flies above them, cawing loudly and settling in a tree across from the pond.

Ren just shrugs, and points to the trio. He’s not sure how Shisui can sense these things, how he can see despite having no eyes in his head, the way he knows where he’s going.

The man behind dad looks up, watching the crow, and then looks to where Ren sits, Shisui standing beside him.

He’s gone in a flash.

“Oh no…” Shisui sighs from beside him. “Oh Itachi…”

Ren can feel the air get colder as Shisui leans down, and whispers into his ear. “I’m gonna go check it out, okay? Stay home with your family, show Sasuke the baby.” And just like that, Shisui is gone too.

Ren moves from his spot in front of the door, standing off to the side as his father walks up. He glances at Ren, placing a hand on top of his head before stepping inside. Ren scowls at his back.

“Daddy!” Kaede cries from inside. Ren steps inside just as his youngest sister runs straight into their father’s back as he attempts to remove his sandals.

“Kaede…” He clears his throat, before patting the top of her head. “You’ve gotten big.”

“It’s only been a few months, daddy!” She yells happily, and didn’t that say something? Only a few months away from his children. Minoru was almost one, his mother was pregnant again, and his father had missed almost all of it.

Ren kicks his shoes off, and stomps past his father and up the stairs, ignoring the happy surprise of his mother, of Ayame, of Ichigo. He could feel Takeshi’s glare on his back as he left. Good for them. They could be happy together.

Minoru’s nursery is empty when Ren walks in. His baby brother balancing carefully, chubby fingers held in a vice grip onto the rails. Ren smiled softly at him, and carefully picked Minoru up and into his arms.

“Dad’s home.” He whispered, taking a few steps back and sitting softly into the pile of stuffed animals that had been gifted to him. “Do you remember him I wonder?”

Minoru just coos, fingers reaching up to pull at Ren’s fringe.

“Ah, ah.” He tuts, pulling his head back. “That’ll hurt.”

He stays there, cuddling with Minoru. His grandmother passes through at some point, tear tracks on her cheeks and she coos at the sight.

“You remind me of-” She stops herself, and instead smiles very sadly.

“Of who, baachan?” Ren asks, and winces when Minoru finally grasps his hair and pulls.

“Just some boys I knew, when they were very, very young.” She gently helps remove Minoru’s hand from his hair. “They were very dear to me.”

Ren’s baby brother Tai is born two weeks after Minoru turns one, and he stays in the hospital for a very long time. Mom stays there with him too, and dad with her. For the first three months of Tai’s life, he’s hooked up to wires and tubes that helps him live.

The entire time his grandparents stay with them. Ren’s mother’s parents, who fuss over Kaede and Minoru and constantly go back and forth from home to the hospital to make sure mom and baby Tai are okay.

Leaving Ren in charge. Nothing he’s not used to.

He walks him and his siblings to and from school everyday, and Setsuna always waits for him at the gate with her father and newborn baby brother.

Uncle Naruto always looks sad whenever Ren sees him, even though he tries to put on a brave face.

“How’s baby Tai?” She asks one morning as they walk into the academy. It’s always a little colder around Setsuna, and it always smells vaguely of smoke. Ren doesn’t like to look at the burnt figures of her birth parents, who always hover a few feet away. Her step-mother, baby Makoto’s mom, tends to go from Setsuna, back to his Uncle. Pale faced and sickly, she still wants to take care of Uncle Naruto and the baby.

Ren shrugs mutely. There’s a lot of them in the village, many who tend to stay in and around the academy. Kids like him who died young and don’t even know they’re dead. They scream and cry and beg for anyone to just look at them. He can’t.

“Obaachan said that they should be coming home soon but. I dunno.”

Setsuna’s quiet, her sandals squeaking against the tile floor.

“Papa doesn’t like having Mako far away. Kashi-jiji was supposed to retire this year but…”

“Yeah. I’m sorry about-“

“It’s okay.” She says, even though it isn’t, and Ren knows how much the loss of her second mother has weighed on her. “Papa says she’s not in pain anymore, so…”

He puts an arm over her shoulder and drags her into a hug anyways.

Ren doesn’t see Shisui, or the other man who followed his father home, until Tai comes home from the hospital.

He’s done his rounds. Takeshi sleeps with his door locked, so Ren couldn’t even check on him if he wanted to. Ichigo shares a room with the girls, and as always, Kaede sleeps curled up to Ayame’s back, snoring loudly with her covers kicked off. Different in every way to how Ayame sleeps shock still. Ichigo’s hand lay off the side, and Ren tiptoes in just to put the book he was reading before bed on his nightstand.

The nursery is quiet when he makes his way inside. Minoru breathes softly, and Ren leans over to move one of his plushies away from his face. Tai, when Ren steps to look at him, is still awake.

“What’re you doing up?” he whispers, fingers trailing over Tai’s baby smooth cheek. He’s a quiet baby, barely fussing, but always looking up and around with those wide little eyes.

“Looking at me I believe.” Shisui says, joining Ren where he leans over the crib.

“Where have you been?” Ren raises an eyebrow at him, fave pinching together.

“What, you missed me?” Shisui laughs, and his cold hand ruffles Ren’s already mussed hair.

“Yeah, maybe I did.” he huffs.

Shisui’s silent for a moment, before tugging Ren closer to his side.

“I’m sorry kid.” He says. The chill from Shisui’s body seeps into Ren’s. “But I had to… Had to talk with my friend. And then when your brother was born that was all sorts of complicated. Never seen so many of us in a room in years.”

“You were there?” Ren looks up at him.

“Yeah, and so were your grandparents and a few others. Even Itachi was there, though he stayed away from everyone.”

“Itachi.” The word is unfamiliar on his lips, but not to him. “He’s… my uncle, right?”

“Yeah.” Shisui’s face softens, his shoulders drooping. “He’s skittish. Like a cat. You have to gently coax him out and make no sudden movements or he’ll run away and you’ll have to waste two months trying to track him down.”

“You’re serious?”

“Deadly.” Shisui laughs.

Tai silently watches the both of them, wide eyes never leaving Shisui’s face.

“You think he can see you?” Ren asks after a moment. Shisui hums.

“Well, infants are known to be able to see spirits, I know. Takeshi used to see us like you do when he was a baby. Not so much anymore.”

That’s a surprise in itself.

“Really?”

“Yeah, I kept to the forest but I know Auntie Mikoto liked to watch after you guys.”

“Huh.” Ren turns his gaze back to Tai. Watches as his little eyes begin to droop, how he yawns softly, and sleep finally takes him.

Shisui is gone when Ren looks back up. But outside the nursery window sits the crow with the dark eyes and feathers, silently standing guard.

Ren’s class is the last one to graduate from the academy before the new changes go into place. Kakashi-jiji gives a nice speech, talks about Ren and his classmates being the face of their next generation. Ren sits through the ceremony, his hands clamming in his lap and sweats into his hitai-ate around his forehead.

It ends soon enough, his classmates rushing to his parents. Ren follows just a step behind Setsuna and Reina, who walk and whisper to each other arm in arm. Takeshi lingers with his friend Seto, before jogging to catch up.

Ren has a large family. Even without the dead. His parents mingle together with Reina and Setsuna’s parents. Sasuke speaks softly with his uncle Naruto, and Setsuna’s aunt Karin and uncles Suigetsu and Juugo. Kakashi-jiji has Makoto in the crook of his arm while he talks with Reina’s mother, her father only two steps behind leaning heavily on his cane.

Their siblings all run about, Setsuna’s cousin Yukio egging the younger children on while Ren’s mother fusses over Itsuki who had fallen and scraped his knee.

Then there’s the others. His grandparents, Ren’s father’s parents, argue softly back and forth. A woman with bright red hair yells in delight, and Sestuna shivers as she rushes forward to coo over her.

“SETSUNA!!! We are so proud of you!!!”

“Kushina, dear, she can’t hear you, you know…”

“I know that! Still, there’s no harm in me saying it y’know!”

Ren’s grandmother laughs softly.

“I don’t understand,” His grandfather huffs. “Hatake is raising the graduation age? I don’t like that.”

“Fugaku,” Ren’s eyes glance back and forth, from his grandfather to the yondaime. “I wish Kakashi was able to raise it earlier. It’s peace time, there shouldn’t…”

“Anything can happen Namikaze, you know that as well as I. What if there’s another-”

“Shisui,” His grandmother’s voice cuts through his grandfather’s. “What are you looking at dear?”

Ren walks straight into his mother’s arms. She laughs a little, and he tries to hide his face in her shirt, to block out the noise that steadily grows.

He can’t get the image from his mind though, Shisui’s empty eyes looking straight at his aunt.

“Nothing.” Shisui says. “Nothing at all.”

Uncle Itachi never stays around for long. He disappears the moment Ren spots him, a cold spot that constantly moves. He’s always in the peripherals, standing at the end of the hall, walking ahead on the forest path, sitting on the opposite side of the pond.

But always follows his father whenever he’s home.

Ren sits on the edge of the small pier. The girl in the water is staring up at him, hair fanning out around her. Her eyes are wide and milky, like everyone else's, and Ren just wants to know what she and his uncle talk about when he sits there. He sees how she leans out of the water those days, how his uncle pushes her hair back and whispers softly to her.

“You can tell me.” Ren whispers. “It’s not like I have anyone to tell.”

“Tell what?” Takeshi’s voice says loudly from behind him. The surprise makes him lurch forward, nearly falling in if not for Takeshi's hand grabbing the back of his collar. The girl disappears with a ripple of the water.

“Oh um, nothing.” Ren steadies himself, and pushes himself to stand. Takeshi’s taller than him, by just a little, and he hates it. Hates how Takeshi feels like it makes him better than his older twin, more superior just because he has a few extra inches of height. “What do you want?”

Takeshi looks him over, then to the empty pond.

“Who were you talking to?”

“Oh uhm,” He bites the inside of his cheek and looks away. “No one.”

“No one? You were talking to yourself?”

“No!” Embarrassment colors his cheeks, and he hates it. Hates how his little brother makes him feel so.

Little.

Takeshi laughs, something mean and bitter, and grins wickedly at him. “You’re such a freak.”

“I-I’m not-”

“Yes,” Takeshi cuts him off. “You are. You sit alone and mumble to yourself for hours- we’re too old to have imaginary friends nii-san.” He says it like an insult.

Ren had tried to tell him once. When they were both little and still loved each other, maybe. But Takeshi had looked at him strangely and snapped at him to stop being weird, and the shame and embarrassment itself made Ren shut up.

“I-I don’t-” But there’s no defending himself, not really.

“You don’t what? Talk to yourself?” Takeshi sneers. “There’s something really wrong with you I think. I don’t get what dad sees in you.”

His jaw tightens, his fists curl. Every inch of him wants to jerk forward and throw his brother to the ground. What dad sees in you. Ren knows the answer.

Nothing.

With a deep breath, he uncurls his fists, he looks away, schooling his face into something not pinched in rage.

“Whatever.” He spits. “Think what you want. I know what I see.”

“Yeah,” Takeshi laughs. “You think you do. You’re crazy, literally. Maybe if I tell mom she’ll put you in the hospital.”

Ren’s chest heaves, his glare hot on Takeshi’s back as he turns and walks back up to the house.

They don’t share a room anymore. So Ren doesn’t have to worry about waking his twin when Itachi shows up.

“I��m sorry,” He says softly. Ren pushes himself up from his bed, eyebrow twitching up.

“For what, Uncle?”

“I feel…” he tilts his head, studying Ren. “Like I’ve failed you. You weren’t even born yet, and I’ve let you both down.”

He smiles sadly, and tucks his legs up to his chest and pats the space next to him. There’s a slight dip to the bed, barely noticeable if Ren didn’t know who it belonged to.

“It isn’t your fault.” Ren licks his lips. “I can’t really be angry at you, for the stuff you did.”

“You should be.” Itachi says. “I took your family from you. I’ve hurt your father terribly.”

“And,” Ren presses. “It’s not your fault for how Takeshi treats me.”

The furrow to Itachi’s brow tells Ren he doesn’t believe him.

“What I did to your father-”

“Uncle Itachi.” Ren stops him. “I really, honestly don’t care. Yeah, maybe you messed up dad’s life.” He shrugs, ignoring the way his uncle jerks, like he’s been hit. “I guess it explains things, but you’re not the reason he’s never around. Are you?”

Itachi just numbly shrugs his shoulders.

“Don’t worry about how my dad and brother treat me. Go hang out with Shi-nii, or the drowned girl in the pond. Or maybe Jiji and Obaachan.” He falls back against his bed, and faintly he feels cool fingers pressed to his forehead.

“Maybe. Goodnight Ren.”

He’s gone when Ren opens his eyes.

Training had ended in shouting, and Ren had ended up running from his father and brother, anger bubbling just below the surface. He kept his breathing even, and resisted the urge to claw at his head despite the anxious twitching in his fingers.

Pent up energy bubbled inside him, an anxious buzzing inside of him that screamed calm down or you’ll do something you regret.

Ren’s feet carried him aimlessly, and he didn’t realize he had entered Nara lands until he was standing at the fork in the path that would take him to his aunts. He blinked lamely, suddenly feeling far more tired than he expected. He took the path, and his aunts home stood solitary beneath the trees.

“Ren?” Shisui stood abruptly from where he sat on the front steps. “What are you doing here?” Ren didn’t answer him and instead softly knocked on the door.

“Coming.” his uncle called from the inside. Ren waited patiently for Obito to open the door. The man looked in surprise, blinking down at him.

“Ren?” He speaks softly, and grunts a little as he knelt to speak face to face with him. “What are you doing here?”

Ren swallowed thickly, taking in a deep breath. Even so, his voice shook when he spoke. “Is Auntie Kari here?”

Obito’s eyes softened on him, and Ren’s uncle stood with a soft groan. Stepping back, he let Ren walk in. From behind him, he could feel how the temperature dropped as Shisui slipped inside.

Obito shivered from where he stood, unaware of Shisui’s presence, and jerked his head towards the stairs. “She’s upstairs. Let me know if you need anything, okay kiddo?” Ren gave a short nod, slipping his sandals off, and made his way up to the second floor. Shisui trailed behind him.

A baby's shrill cries echo from down the hall. Ren knows for a fact that his aunt wasn’t pregnant, not since the twins were born. He steps softly, careful not to make much noise. Most days Reina was out of the house, spending her afternoons with her team. Sayuri herself was at school, along with Ren’s own little brother and her cousin. Ren peeked inside one of the doors, and sure enough, Itsuki was sleeping softly in his bed.

Akari is sitting in her bed when Ren pushes the door open. She doesn’t hear it, or even seem to see the small pink squirming thing laying on her bed. It’s wails echo in his head. Shisui is a cold presence behind him, and Ren doesn’t have to thurn and look to know that he’s floundering.

“What is…?” Shisui says softly.

“Ren!” Akari tucks her necklace back under her shirt. “Did your uncle let you in- hey, hey what’s wrong?”

She’s moving in an instant, and Ren squeezes his eyes shut so he doesn’t have to see it. It’s so loud, he can’t even think.

“Ren, sweetheart, look at me.” Warm hands cradle his cheeks, stinging the burns left behind by his failed katon.

He cracks his eyes open, his black meeting her brown. “Head h’rts…”

She swipes her palm over his forehead, pressing against it softly.

“Your head hurts?” he nods. “I think we might have some medicine downstairs.”

He strains to listen to his aunt's words as she speaks too softly over the loud crying of whatever laid in her bed. She goes to move, but Ren stays rooted to the spot, his fingers curling in her shirt. His head thumps softly against her collarbone, and he squeezes his eyes shut, reveling in the warmth of his aunt.

“Too loud…” He mumbles. One hand slowly strokes down his back, while the other curls around the back of his neck.

“What’s too loud sweet boy? What’s wrong?”

“The baby!” He cries. Hot tears leak from his closed eyes. The waile on seem to grow louder, his heart beats rapidly. His head is about to burst and paint gore and viscera all over the walls.

He just wants it to stop.

“Ren…” Ren says, feather soft. “What baby?”

It’s silent, save for the fast pace of his heart and their breathing.

“Th-the baby! O-on your bed it’s-“

Gone. He pushes past her, and stumbles, nearly falling onto the mattress himself.

“It was right here…”

“Ren…” His aunt sounds so sad.

“I’m not crazy!” He snaps, and every nerve feels like its on fire. He’s ready to burst, even the clothes on his back feel too much and too little all at once. “I’m not.”

His voice breaks, tears falling freely now.

Akari wraps her arms around him, shushing his frantic sobs.

“I know you’re not, sweet boy shh I know.” She rocks him slightly, back and forth and he shakes in her hold.

“Please,” he begs. “Please don’t tell my mom.”

“I won’t, hush sweet boy it’s okay.” Her lips press to his sweaty forehead. Out of everything, it grounds him.

“Let’s get you something to drink, alright.” Her arm sits over his shoulders, and Akari pulls Ren close to her side as they leave her room. It’s soft, but Ren hears quiet humming when they walk past Itsuki’s room. He’s sure he sees Shisui, cradling something in his arms through the crack in the door.

“Shh… it’s okay, don’t worry. Daddy’s here.”

There’s a woman with the same ginger hair who follows Sayuri. Seto always goes home to the same two ghosts, twins, though one looks bitter while the other always smiles as he greets him.

Ren stays away from what haunts Uchiha ground, and while the Nara forest has its equal dead, they keep away.

Ren doesn’t hear the baby again.

His aunt Akari is a soothing presence every time. She helps his lightning style training, and together they stand in the yard beside her house and let their hands light up as he attempts to manage his electric chakra.

They cover basics he’s learned along with Kakashi-Jiji, and others. How to channel his chakra through the blade, how to make the pretty lights dance in his palm.

He always leaves these sessions sweaty and exhausted, but happy.

Reina waits in the hall when he comes in that day. It’s been… blessedly quiet. Free of Shisui or any others who see him and just know Ren is aware of them.

He smiles, softly, at his cousin, before letting himself into the bathroom and splashing water on his hot face.

“So…” she starts, leaning against the open door. “You and mom sure are spending a lot of time together, huh?”

Ren shrugs, turning the water off and drying his face.

“She’s helping me with my lightning style while Kakashi-Jiji is busy.”

“Yeah.” She hums. “Your dad busy too or are you going to take mine also.”

He freezes.

“Wh-what?”

“Well you took my mom! I’m just wondering if dad is going to go with you so you’ll have the matching set.” Her dark eyes narrow at him. “I mean, I already don’t get to spend any time with them.”

“That’s not fair, Reina.” Shisui says, hovering from behind her. She can’t hear him.

“I-I didn’t- I’m sorry…”

Her brown eyes meet his, and he lowers his head, looking away from her gaze.

“Like sorry is going to do anything.” She scoffs. She turns, and walks right through Shisui.

“That girl.” He shakes his head softly. “Ren, don’t take anything from it- Ren, hey buddy what’s wrong?”

He leaves, slipping from the back door before dinner is called. Ren stops visiting his aunt.

Months go by, then years. Every morning before he meets with his team, Ren wakes early. He makes breakfast for his family, lunches for his mother and siblings, and helps wake them up and get them ready for the day.

The first time Tai really comprehends Shisui, he cries. The sound breaks Ren’s heart, and he and Shisui sit with the toddler on his bedroom floor and speak to him in hushed tones.

“We’re special.” Ren says softly, rubbing the two year olds back. “We get to see our family, even if no one else can. We get to be close to them.”

“Scary…” Tai sniffles, his head buried into Ren’s shirt.

“I know, it can be.” Ren kisses the crown of his head. “But it can also be very fun! Shisui is so important to me, I know he can look a little scary, but he loves us very much.”

“I don’t wanna scare you kiddo.” Shisui’s hand hovers over Tai, not making the push to touch, not yet. “I can stay away if I scare you. I wouldn’t blame you for that. But you need to know that I love you and I love your brothers and sisters very very much.”

Tai sniffles, braving a glance at Shisui’s pale face. He keeps his eyes closed, because Tai doesn’t need to see that. Not yet.

“Name?”

“Shisui.”

“Shishwee.”

“Close enough!” He laughs softly.

Ren is fourteen years old when he becomes a chuunin. He is fourteen when he dies.

Takeshi hates him so much that he wants to kill him. What did Ren do to deserve this, other than love his brother?

His right arm is in tatters, the flesh cut to ribbons by Takeshi’s blades. His own tanto lays abandoned, sticking up out of the ground in the distance. His left leg is burnt badly by Takeshi’s katon. Every inch of him is in pain, and he heaves in each heavy breath. He just has to wait until help arrives. Help has to come, it has to.

Where is Sasuke, when Ren actually needs him. His sharingan spins to life, red meeting Takeshi’s red. There’s an awful grin on his face, and he’s doing much better than Ren is, both in appearance and stamina.

Ren can’t bring himself to hurt his brother. Takeshi does not have the same reservations.

Takeshi advances, sword raised, and Ren’s body jerks to dodge. He’s half a second too slow, Ren’s exhaustion finally catching up with him.

The blade goes smoothly through his chest. He takes in a stuttering breath, and coughs. The blood trails down his chin, and it hurts. It hurts so much.

Takeshi steps back, and Ren loses his balance, unaware of how Takeshi was supporting him. He falls, landing hard on his back, and a strangled cry leaves his lips. His sharingan spins idly, until finally fading, and he can see Takeshi clearly.

His own spins, morphing into something else, something different. The manic grin slowly morphs into horror, and he drops his tanto to the ground, looking at his bloodied hands.

“Re-Ren-” His eyes meet his brothers. “What did I-”

Ren doesn’t hear the rest, instead, his eyes trail to the gray sky above him.

He’s vaguely aware of people approaching, of voices ringing out over the ringing in his ears, but he can’t hear them.

It looks like rain.

(This is what Ren does not remember.

He stares, looking out over his own body. He’s cold, and his hands shake. His mother screams his name while his uncle kneels by his side.

Takeshi’s pinned up against a tree, their father’s arm braced over his chest and he screams something. Ren can’t hear it.

“Oh no.” The voice is so clear. Ren turns, and there stands Shisui, his uncle just a step behind him.

He looks.

Healthy. Whole. Two dark eyes stare at him.

“Shisui?” Ren shakes, eyes darting from his body back to the man he’s known almost his whole life. “Shisui what happened? What’s going on?” His legs won’t obey him, he takes two shaky steps and suddenly Shisui is sweeping him up into his warm arms.

“Shhhh, it’s okay kiddo, don’t look alright.”

“That’s me-”

“Hush Ren, it’ll be okay.” Shisui cradles him, pressing a warm kiss to Ren’s forehead. “I got you sweetheart, it’ll be okay, don’t look.”

There’s a faint pain in his chest. Itachi comes around, placing a hand on his shoulder, squeezing it gently. His breaths come out shaky and fast, and he’s sure he’ll begin panicking any moment.

“Ren,” Itachi whispers into his ear. “I hope for your sake nephew, you don’t remember this.”)

He wakes up to white ceilings and a tube down his throat.

“You were dead for a few minutes.” Tsunade reads off a chart. “It’s a miracle you’re alive right now.”

His mother squeezes his hand, her thumb rubbing over his palm.

His throat is raw when he speaks, and he has to sip some water before he tries again.

“What,” He croaks. “What h’pp’n’d t’ T’keshi?”

His granny Tsunade was always honest. Always upfront. It’s what he loved the most about her. She wouldn’t spare his feelings and shy from the truth.

“It’s still being decided.” Ren’s mother chokes back a sob. “But he’s in custody right now.”

She reaches over, a wrinkled hand covering his.

“He won’t hurt you again Ren. I swear to you.”

When he is finally alone, after his mother leaves to go home, after his friends and family come by each giving Ren their best regards, does Ren let himself cry.

His leg had been broken severely along with the burns. His arm was wrapped in bandages and held close to his chest in a sling.

“You might never be able to be a shinobi again.” Tsunade had said, when Ren asked her when he could go back out into duty again. “I’m sorry.”

“Ren.” Shisui appears sitting in the chair at his bedside. “How’re you feeling?”

“What do you think?” He says plainly. Rain trails in rivulets down the window.

“I think you’re probably feeling really low, but I had to ask.” Ren spares a glance at Shisui. He looks the same, closed eyes with dried blood running down his cheeks. Pale skin. An air of cold that constantly hangs around him.

“You don’t remember anything, do you?”

Ren quirks a brow up.

“Remember what?”

Shisui smiles softly. “Doesn’t matter then.” He reaches over to ruffle his hair, and Ren jerks away. Shisui’s smile falters, but it’s too small for Ren to notice.

“I’ll leave you then. You need me, you know who to call.”

Shisui disappears with a blink, his leaving making the cold hospital room even colder. As if he sucked all the heat away with him. Ren closes his eyes, leaning back into his pillows. He remembers the blade going in, seeing Takeshi’s sharingan change into something else, something different, staring at the sky thinking that rain was going to come.

And a warm presence, with kind eyes holding him close.

Just a fleeting memory.

Ren is discharged. His uncle and mother help bring him home, and neither his father nor Takeshi are there when they get back. He doesn’t ask his mother about it, doesn’t ask his uncle Naruto.

Ren stays locked in his room. He takes his meals there, guests come in and out to visit him.

“We’re looking forward to your return, Ren.” Seto tells him one afternoon when he and Sayuri visit.

“Yeah!” She grins, leaning over his bed. He doesn’t look at them, and instead keeps his eyes locked onto the trees in the distance, outside his window.

The hanging man sways with the breeze. He could get down, if he wanted to, but Ren’s never seen him leave.

“So cheer up Uchiha, team seven still has missions we need to complete. We need our leader, yeah?”

He doesn’t answer them.

Tai toddles in every once in a while. He pulls himself onto Ren’s bed, and cuddles up into his big brother's side.

“Shishwee misses you.” He whispers. “He wants t’ come an’ say hi.”

“He can.” Ren mumbles, and Tai shakes his head.

“Noo… Shishwee says you’re pushing him away.”

Ren turns and looks down at him. True enough, it felt like it had been weeks since he saw his wayward relative.

“Oh.” He mumbles. “I didn’t know I could do that.”

His aunt Akari comes by, Reina in tow. She sits on his bed and tucks him into her side, pushing his hair back from his sweaty head. Reina hovers in the doorway, looking a mixture of guilty and something else.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, her palm cold against his cheek. He shrugs numbly.

“As well as I can be.”

She’s silent for a moment, and he lets himself relax into her hold, focusing only on the circles she rubs into his arms.

“Have you spoken with your brother yet?” She asks, and he tenses in her hold.

“Why would I do that?” He stares at his bed sheets. “He tried to kill me.”

“He kinda did…” Reina mumbles, and stiffens when her mother snaps her name. “What! He knows, no use lying to him!”

“It’s fine, aunt Kari.” He glances up at her. “Rei’s right. It’s the truth.”

“Still,” She sighs softly. “I was just wondering if you had spoken with him. Do you… want to speak with him?”

He’s silent, letting the question mull over in his brain. What would he do if he saw Takeshi again? What would he even say?

“I don’t care.” Ren ends up with. “It doesn’t matter anyways. He ruined my life.” He looks back, out into the window, and watches the hanging man swing in the breeze.

What would it feel like, to be swinging in the breeze like that?

Ren nearly dies a second time, going after Sayuri when the village is attacked. She’s one of his best friends, and he has to save her, has to help her. If he can’t save one friend, what use is he?

She screams his name when he’s stabbed, again, and he watches as the men dressed in black drag her away and into the shadows.

Ren wakes up, again, in the hospital. The second time in as many months. His sensei steps away as their teacher, leaving Seto floundering without a team until his father steps up and takes Seto into his own along with Kaiga and Setsuna.

Ren stops going out. He stays, locked in his room and watches at the hanging man swings. Shisui doesn’t come by, his uncle Itachi doesn’t come by, nor does his grandmother. He pushes them away, far, far away. His friends come by to visit, and every time Ren turns them away.

His father visits once. Sasuke asks if Ren wants to see Takeshi, that maybe they can find some sort of healing. He doesn’t come back after Ren screams his throat raw at him. The anger is the first real thing he feels in months.

“Maybe I am crazy.” he whispers to his ceiling, watching as the grain warps and creates pictures in the darkness. “Maybe I am going mad.”

Everyone wants to look after him now. It’s the worst, but eventually his mother goes back to work, and Ren tries, walking the length of his room to get used to moving again. He practices walking up and down the stairs until he sweats, and the pain he deserves. For being so weak, for letting Takeshi get the better of him.

He has to be of some use while his mother is gone. His siblings are still so young, and Ren’s watched out for them his entire life. He has to keep looking out for them, because what else is he good for?

Every morning he goes through the trouble of walking down the steps, and making their breakfast and lunches. And every morning he sees them out from the front door, doing his best to smile and make them feel at ease.

Everyday, alone, he sits at the foot of his bed and holds his tantou in his hands. He’s kept the blade sharp, and his right arm is a mess of twisted scars and burns.

What’s a few more?

Ren and Takeshi turn fifteen, and then sixteen. Progress is slow, but Ren is able to go out and walk his brothers and sisters to school every day. He shops, shows his face to his friends and family, plays at being the older brother with his life in order than everyone thinks.

Everyday he passes the hanging man swinging in the breeze. Shisui hovers on the edge of his vision constantly. There’s always a frown to his face, his lips move as he tries to reach him, but Ren doesn’t let him come close.

He wonders, what would be easier. Hanging? Or maybe bleeding out? There’s pills in the bathroom cabinet he could take, and Ren doesn’t want to be in more pain.

He decides one morning, after coming home from dropping the kids off at the academy, that he’ll take a walk to the Nakano cliffside.

The terrain is hard on his body, and he stumbles on tree routes. It reminds him almost of that very first time he met Shisui. A decade earlier, Ren playing in the forest on his own, and stumbling across a relative who died long before he was born.

His heart beats fast in his chest. Wind whips at his hair as he leaves the forest, entering the cliffside. As a child his mother always warned him not to go there, that it was dangerous, and he could get hurt.

Good.

He walks, and stands on the edge, staring down into the water below. It’s a far drop down.

Ren had always been afraid of heights.

His breaths come out in short bursts, his hands shake uselessly at his sides. He swallows thickly as he stares down, and the fear is cold in his belly as he sways.

Just one step, that’s all it takes.

“REN!”

He jerks, stepping back and whipping his head around. Shisui stands, eyes closed and chest heaving. Above, his crow flies in circles.

“Sh-shi-nii?” The old nickname comes easily. “What are you-”

“Step away from the edge Ren. Please.” Shisui begs, braving a step forward. “Let’s go home, okay?”

Ren shakes his head, wind whipping against his cheeks. His tears are hot as the roll down, and when did he start crying.

“I want it to stop.” He says softly. “I can’t take this anymore.”

“I know, Ren, but trust me- you don’t want to do this.”

“HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT!” The volume of his voice makes Shisui jerk back, and Ren’s hands curl into fists. “How do you know how this feels. My brother KILLED ME!”

“I know Ren.” Shisui says softly. “I was there.”

His shoulders shake, the sobs wracking his frame. “I HATE IT! I hate this. I just want it to stop Shisui.”

Shisui’s hands hover uselessly, reaching towards him.

“And this is how you stop it Ren? LOOK AT ME!” A fist hits against his chest. “Nothing good comes out of this. You’ll just be dead and miserable and nothing will change.”

And then, softer.

“Do you really want Tai to see his big brother like this.”

Ren flinches as if he’s been slapped.

Cold hands grasp his forearms and drag him back, away from the edge. All at once, he falls apart, legs giving out from underneath him as he wails loudly. Shisui holds him through it.

“How…” He licks his dry lips. “How did you find me?”

Shisui laughs softly, hands petting at his hair.

“You always have a stronger connection to the place you died.” He says.

“Here?” Ren blinks up at him. Funny, he was almost the same age as Shisui now.

“Yeah, took a dive myself.” His voice is thick when he talks, and Ren’s sure if he has the ability to, he’d be crying.

“Wh-where?”

Shisui shrugs. “Oooh, somewhere further down I’m sure. I… put a lot of responsibility on Itachi. We Uchiha, we’re really screwy huh?”

“Takeshi was right.” Ren murmurs, curled up into Shisui’s chest. “I think I’m crazy.”

They stay there, until Ren’s cried out of tears. But instead of following Shisui, Ren grips his hand and makes him look at him.

“Where,” His throat scratches as he speaks. “Was your body ever found?”

Shisui is silent, and Ren fears he won’t speak. He starts to apologize when-

“No. It’s been sitting on a riverbank for years.”

“Can…” He licks his dry lips, and blinks back the tears that threaten to fall. “Can you show me?”

It takes the morning to finally find Shisui’s resting place. He’s just bones, long picked clean by scavengers time. Ren uses what was left of his shirt as a makeshift back. His hands tremble as he picks up each and every bone he can find, before tying it together. It takes the entire afternoon to return.

“Please,” Shisui asks when they’re almost back to the house. “Please tell her.”

“I will.”

It’s Reina whose waiting at their home when he returns. The sky is already a mix of oranges and pinks, and he shifts, looking at his cousin when he approaches.

“YOU!” She shrieks, stomping over. “Where WERE you! My mom’s out looking right now, she said Kaede came crying into the damn house! She even tracked me down so you have some expla- what are you carrying?”

Ren swallows, before giving her a smile.

“I gotta talk to your mom. Can you watch them a little while longer? I’ll make it up to you.”

She rolls her eyes and huffs, shoulders slumping.

“Fine, but me and Setsuna are going to give them soooo much sugar they’ll be making you tear your hair out.”

“Thank you Rei.” Ren’s smile feels more genuine, and he leans forward, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.

Akari Nara is not hard to find. She’s pacing in the yard of her home, chewing softly on her lower lip.

“Auntie Kari!” Ren’s voice is hoarse when he calls to her, but there’s a smile all the same.

“Ren!” His head is in her hands in an instant, and she’s looking over him, making sure he’s free of any injury. “Sweet boy, when Kaede came crying I thought something terrible must have happened! I looked everywhere, Obito told me to stay here in case you came home. He’s out right now-”

She pauses, eyes falling to the fabric he carries.

“What is that?”

He swallows, eyes glancing towards Shisui.

“Ask her again, about what’s under her shirt. Please.”

“First.” Ren swallows. “You wear something, under your shirt. Can you… can you tell me, what it is?”

Her hand comes up to her chest, and she’s silent. He’s sure she’ll say no, change the subject again but.

With a sigh, she pulls the collar of her turtleneck down, and fishes out the necklace. A simple ring, tarnished slightly by the years, but its beautiful all the same.

“You kept it.”

Shisui feels much more solid, appearing behind her. His hands reach up to trail down her cheek, and her eyes flutter closed, leaning into the warmth.

He looks almost alive.

“This belonged to a man I loved, a very long time ago.” Her voice is thick with unshed tears and emotion. “I never got to- I didn’t-”

“I know,” Shisui’s says quickly. “Tell her I know. And I love her. Even still.”

“He knows.” Ren says softly, and she gasps, eyes meeting his. “And he loves you. Even stil.”

“Ren,” Her voice shakes. “This isn’t funny.”

“I know.” He says softly. “I think I’m crazy aunt Kari. I see things. I know things.”

“Oh sweet boy,” Her hand comes to cradle his cheeks again. “You’re not crazy-”

“I’ve seen Shisui since I was five years old. He watches over your baby. He loves you so much.”

The tears open like a damn, and Ren helps her sit before her legs buckle out beneath her.

“How do you know that?”

“Because,” Ren says softly. “I think I’m crazy.”

They’re silent, and he sits with her as she cries. Finally Akari brushes away the tears, straightening up from where she sits.

“What’s in the cloth Ren?” She jerks her head towards it. He swallows again thickly, and sets the bundle of what was Shisui down. It’s tied tight together, and whatever she does with it, he hopes he isn’t putting more of a burden onto her.

“He asked me to bring him home.”

Time goes on, passing each day like sand through an hourglass. Ren hates himself, he wants to die, but he refuses to put this burden on Tai. He has a long way to go to love himself again.

He starts training again, and within a year and with the help of his Sensei, Lee, Ren is able to go on missions once more. He spends time with his friends again.

He sees his brother for the first time in almost three years.

Everyday he walks past those who died before their time, who can’t let go. Everyday, he looks ahead to the next.

When he visits his aunt, he can always find Shisui sitting at the little grave maker sitting in their yard, their baby cradled in his arms.

End

#naruto oc #naruto next gen oc #melancholy au #oc: ren uchiha #oc: takeshi uchiha #oc: akari nara #my fic

29 notes · View notes

solarsleepless · 3 years

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Hello good sir.

Please rant to me about avian hybrid/ Lion hybrid/ enderman hybrid c!Niki headcanons and au's. I NEED MORE of your c!niki banter cs I have already read your fics 3times over and over again.

SHJHJSHJSHJSHJSH GIVE ME GENDER EUPHORIA AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE

i'll give some hcs for each

Avian Niki

niki is either a crow hybrid or an angel hybrid. on one hand crow niki is funny to me on the other hand badass angel

her feathers, ironically, stay white during her 'villain' arc because yaknow symbolism

when she was going out with puffy, she'd let puffy preen them

because she was the only other winged hybrid, quackity trusted her to preen his own wings

in return he preened hers while she was in jail

she used to fly with puffy because love <3

during her isolation arc, she takes out feathers as an unhealthy coping mechanism, reasoning to herself that there's no need to preen if she doesn't have any feathers left (yes it's morbid)

eventually tho she just. doesnt even wear clothes for her wings

she just hides them underneath, which is of course VERY uncomfortable

they get worse and worse and ache more and more and she wants to fly so badly but she can't unless she preens them and she can't because she just can't!

when she joins the syndicate, the first thing phil says during their second meeting is: "hey niki didn't you have wings? what happened to them?"

his voice is tinged with sympathy; he knows what it's like to not be able to fly

she freezes, just stops moving, then starts to cry

phil is worried he's done something wrong, but then she reveals that she's kept her wings hidden under wil's coat and cloak all that time (note the symbolism)

he immediately is like "what the FUCK" when he sees them because there are feathers falling when it's not even shedding season yet?? also there are a few in places they shouldn't be at all? there are some fucking missing?????

long story short it takes multiple hours to get them back in place

niki passes out during it because it's been so long since she hasn't been in constant pain

when she wakes up, phil insists on keeping her there to preen her wings

also the syndicate has a long discussion about what happened and they promise each other and themselves to help her get better

Lion Hybrid Niki

she purrs end tweet

no but seriously this girl will purr to end and back

she purrs louder than ranboo which is SAYING something

she loves the scritchy scratches behind the ears. like REALLY loves 'em. she'll just- once you give her scritches she just. surrenders and leans into it. her purring sounds like a fucking jet plane when she gets the scritchies

she can roar, she only uses it to intimidate people tho

her self-worth is just. deeper than bedrock. she has no self-worth

she and puffy are working on it but she still... needs help

sometimes she gets phantom pain from her declawed fingers. she's found out it hurts less when she massages it, but she can't actually reach it, so she asks puffy to do it, and puffy can't help but feel guilty each time she sees the stumps

also niki hates getting her nails trimmed. like HATES it. even if she doesn't want them growing as long as they did before, the idea of something sharp near her fingers after what happened just makes her blanch

eventually tho she does have to do it

she hugs puffy while ant cuts her nails, and puffy whispers sweet, reassuring comments to her.

"you're doing so good. i'm so proud of you" and "we're almost there. you okay? we're gonna get through this."

sometimes tho niki just.. can't handle it. but she doesn't want to disappoint puffy either so she tries to just get through it anyways.

puffy notices her discomfort and asks her if she wants to stop. niki hesitates before nodding.

"niki, you being comfortable is so much more important than this. we can do it tomorrow, okay?"

Enderman Hybrid Niki

makes littol enderman noises. sometimes when she's stressed, sometimes just idly, sometimes when she's happy!

she has a tail because how can i not give her one

also she has pawsies and hands like magpiebur by @/nightferns (BECAUSE I LOVE THE WAY THEY DRAW WILBUR'S PAWWWS)

can withstand water a little better than ranboo, being more human than him

it still burns though

she just has higher pain tolerance lul

also can touch snow unlike ranboo because she's half human, half enderman

her ears and tail twitch whenever she's anxious

didn't really like eye contact, and the l'manbergians respected that (esp eret who didnt like people staring at their eyes either) until schlatt came along and basically forced it, so she kinda forced herself to do it from then on

unlike ranboo however, she doesnt go into enderwalk. she actually hasn't got an enderwalk because ranboo got it from nervous habit and it 'evolved' from there (my hc anyway), she instead literally gets hurt

like it hurts her to make eye contact

ranboo sees that she makes eye contact despite being an enderman hybrid and is like: "...HOW???"

she's just like "oh i force myself to do it lul. cause everyone expects me to anyways. it hurts after a while but its fine"

he just goes completely silent after that, then tells phil and techno at the syndicate meeting (while niki is admiring steve) not to hold eye contact w/niki because it hurts her

techno: "HEHH??? she seemed fine when i visited her!!" ranboo: "yeah she's been hiding it this whole time because society expects her to do it." techno, an adhd fella: "..phil where are the adoption papers-"

niki's confused by the end. why did nobody look at her? why did nobody maintain eye contact with her??? did they not like her?

but at the end phil explains that they thought that because she was an enderman hybrid she wouldn't like it (they're lying to not throw ranboo under the bus)

niki just stares, then starts to cry because holy Shit they are so nice

"nIKI NO YOU'RE BURNING-"

used to bite her tail as a way of self-harm. techno was VERY concerned when he saw the bite marks, but niki just lied and said that it was a dog attack

he knows for a fact it wasn't a dog because he's been bitten and his furniture has bites and it didnt look like that

more like that One Time when Ranboo bit him while he was in his enderwalk state

cue him connecting the dots and being like "...WAIT"

niki also really likes blocks. like we all know her city is weird in some parts because it's built with different blocks, signifying niki's jumbled up mind while planning to kill tommy. but in the enderman hybrid niki hc, its also partly because blocks feel nice and she wanted to feel different ones

her tail curls around the legs of people she likes. so far, it's gone around: wilbur, tommy n tubbo (those two specifically during pogtopia), fundy, eret, puffy and the rest of the syndicate

whenever puffy made her flustered she'd blush either green or pink. no inbetween. puffy was very confused and thought niki was disgusted by her at first and was all :(( before niki explained her wack biology

that's all i got for now im afraid!

#fei tag #ask #niki nihachu #niki nihachu headcanons #nihachu headcanons #dsmp headcanons #ranboo #philza #techno #the syndicate #captain puffy #puffychu

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lubdubsworld · 3 years

Text

Change of heart (Chapter 7)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6

Summary : Times are changing. After years of being oppressed, werewolves are taking a stand against humans , demanding equal rights and fair treatment. Heading the movement is Kim Taehyung, the breathtaking heir to the Kim fortune and one of the few remaining Alpha werewolves in the country. His disdain for the human race is well known and well warranted. They killed his family after all….. He wants to change the world , to put humans in their place but when his five year old daughter takes a shine to their very human neighbor , maybe he has to start with a change of heart , first.

: Pairing : Taehyung x OC / Werewolf AU!!

Genre : Romance, Explicit Content.

Chapter 7

The incessant buzzing of his phone was what woke Taehyung up, his entire body aching something fierce.

He groaned , spitting what felt like damp hair out of his mouth, blinking against the shaft of sunlight pouring into the room through the slats of the large windows . His bedroom faced the river, and every morning the sun spilled right into his bed , lighting the room up . He loved waking up to warmth and sometimes it made up for the absence of a warm body next to him on the bed.

But today, with her wrapped around him, he hated the intrusion....wanted nothing more than to burrow into the bed and stay there for the rest of the year.

It took him a second to realize that Mirae was lying on top of him and he was still, technically inside her. He had been so completely gone the previous night that he could barely remember a thing.

Other than the fact that he hadn’t had sex that good in his life. Ever.

Cupping the back of her head gently and wrapping one arm around her waist, he carefully rolled over, laying her gently on the bed next to him. She whimpered when he slid out of her and he winced when a rush of fluids spilled out of her, drenching his thighs and the sheets.

Bits of the night began to come back to him then.

Vague memories of fucking her to within an inch of her life.

Guilt began to coil around his insides as he pushed the hair of her face. She looked like she had been mauled by an animal. Hickeys bloomed all over her neck, her jaw and even on the fleshy curve of her cheeks. Her hair looked matted with sweat and damp and cum . He had a mental image of her then, weakly crawling away when he tried to push into her for the fifth time, and she had been too sore to take him , begging him to let her suck him off instead and he flinched when he remembered holding her down against the pillow and fucking her mouth.

He’d managed to keep his knot out of her mouth, but he’d also had a really fierce orgasm, and his release had pretty much ended up all over her.

His phone was still ringing and he reached across the bed to grab it, answering the call before checking who it was.

“Taehyung...are you alright?” It’s Dr. Lee and Taehyung blinks, surprised.

“Oh..yes. Dr. Lee , is everything okay?”

“I was only calling to check up on you. My sister told me that you were taking Ms. Yoon home and it made me wonder. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, doc. In fact better than fine. My head is surprisingly clear. I was fully prepared for this thing to last like a week but I feel normal already.”

Dr. Lee laughed.

“Perks of biting your actual mate and not an impostor. How is she, by the way?”

Taehyung relaxed a bit, staring at the girl in his bed. He gently stroked the hair off her face, running the back of his fingers across the smooth skin of her cheeks.

“She’s ... fine.” He said roughly, “ Or as fine as you’d expect her to be.” He added as an afterthought, remembering that she had tried to get up from the bed for a drink of water and her legs had given out almost at once.

“And the mating mark? Did you dress it up like I told you?”

“Yes... It wasn’t that deep but you should probably drop by tomorrow and take a look at it anyway. “ An incessant beeping told him he was getting another call and he quickly apologized and hung up on the doctor taking the other call.

“Tae, the shipment isn’t here on time. We’ve been trying to find the CI who gave us the info and the fucker seems to have run aground. Either that or Yoon’s men got to him.... “ Seokjin’s voice trembled with frustration and anger.

“Oh...fuck hyung that’s bad. Okay, what does Namjoon think? “

“Namjoon says that we should go ahead with drilling that dude we caught during the raid last week, Jaehyun or whatever. He thinks he may have some clue because he was fucking one of the bigger suppliers’ daughter.”

Taehyung groaned.

“What about the reports from the lab? Did they test positive for any other controlled substance? I know we’ve only focused on a couple of them ...I don’t want to be blindsided by anything. “

“That scientist dude is a pain in the ass, refuses to talk to anyone but you and definitely only in person. “ Seokjin scoffed.

“That’s fine.. I’ll be there in an hour. “ Taehyung said sharply.

Seokjin made a noise of disapproval.

“What? Namjoon told me you were with your mate.... You’re going to leave her?”

Taehyung rolled his eyes at that.

“She’s not my actual mate hyung. As in... what we have isn’t like official or anything. She agreed to it because I asked her to help me out and she knows that this isn’t anything more than a business arrangement. I didn’t even want to do it but...sometimes you do things for the greater good....”

He moved to get up out of the bed , levering himself up to stand. He felt better than he had in weeks, his body thrumming with vitality and his mind sharp and clear.

“She’s human right? Is she actually okay?”

Taehyung scoffed at the implication .

“I’m not leaving her bleeding and unconscious, if that's’ what you’re wondering. I bought a bunch of pain stuff for her.... the kind humans use.” He felt that pang of disappointment again.

She was incredible....beautiful and kind and full of heart, yeah but the fact that she was a human was ...... It was just cruel to her.

. He had spouted some nonsense to her about wanting to do this everyday for the rest of their life but nothing could be farther from the truth than that. The idea of having to handle his bedmate with kid gloves made him jittery and nervous.

She was so fucking fragile and he had struggled so hard last night, holding back, over and over again and she had still come out of it completely wrecked.

If she were a wolf, she’d be perfectly fine by now. Healed and happy and probably even up for some morning sex.

And yes the last bit made him sound like a horny bastard but come on, he was a healthy young wolf and an Alpha at that and his libido had always been on the higher side.

He shook his head as though to clear the way his thoughts were heading. It was ridiculous that he was even thinking about this. It was over. He had claimed her. She was his. His wolf was calm now. He could go about his life without having to worry about going into rut or losing his mind at the thought of another wolf near her.

And he would not feel guilty about it.

there was something called the greater good. In the grand scheme of things, one night of discomfort would not cost her anything. But what he was doing was going to change the world for his people.

Seokjin’s voice filtered in through his thoughts.

“At least tell her before you leave, Taehyung. You’re literally the kind of bastard who would do something as insensitive as leave her after you mated her and then act like you did nothing wrong. ”

Annoyed , Taehyung hung up without replying.

Glancing at her, he moved to touch her cheeks again. She was asleep. Sound asleep by the look of it. It would be far more insensitive to wake her up. He would go and meet the guy about the lab results and get back here before she was up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Ow.”

I groaned , muffling my agony against the white sheets as I tried to will myself to get up. Breathe through the pain, I told myself firmly. You do not want to spend the entire day like this. You need a shower, stat.

“Taehyung?” I called out weakly, for what felt like the tenth time. But the eerie stillness in the room told me I was alone in the apartment.

I fumbled with my phone, fighting the urge to call him. If he had left, there had to have been a reason , a reason important enough for him to leave and it struck me again that I had been a little hasty, agreeing to this.

Fueled entirely by my wish to get rid of the excess amount of cum all over me., I dug both my elbows into the bed, lifting my self up to my hand and knees. The pain radiating from my spine, settling deep in my center and the harsh abrasions on my insides.....all of it was a reminder that I had definitely bitten off more than I could chew.

The first thing I did was grab the pain killers on the table, popping three of them into my mouth and dry swallowing. It was a little past eleven in the morning and I was starving. But I had to get a shower first.

The trip to the bathroom was an ordeal and I had to fight tears, just to stand.

Okay. Maybe a bath was in order than.

I fumbled with the taps, watching warm water fill the ceramic tub, sweating a bit in the humid room. I glanced at my thighs, lightly stroking the bruises and watching them bloom purple under my fingertips.

The pain was already ebbing, the tablets doing their thing and with my head a little clearer, my thoughts felt heavy. Regret churned, curdling in my gut and I could taste heartbreak on my tongue.

Sleeping with him had been a mistake.

A colossal fucking mistake, I thought desperately. I was already feeling abandoned and miserable. I wanted to throw on some clothes and go find him in his office . Wanted to curl into his lap and then refuse to leave.

But mostly I wanted to kick myself for feeling that way.

Taehyung wasn’t ..... available for any kind of relationship.

He was an Alpha werewolf and important man.

An important bureaucrat. Someone with power and responsibility. A man driven by his need to protect his kind and destroy anyone who meant him harm.

A man who would do anything to get his way , even if it meant seducing a human he didn’t even like.

And he had seduced me I thought , feeling unaccountably upset at myself.

In the vivid light of day, with my body aching so fierce and my head spinning , I could remember everything that happened the previous day with a sort of vivid clarity. And it was almost an out of body experience, like watching the whole thing happen to someone else.

The way he had framed his words, the soothing comfort, the reassurances. That stupid fucking dance in the living room with the most cliché song in the world, it was like something straight out of a chick-lit novel. Something only a naïve, immature , desperate woman would fall for.

What a cruel heartless bastard, I thought angrily. There was no way he didn’t know the effect of his words and actions on me. There was no way he didn’t know that he was purposely playing the part of a loving partner just to break down any defenses I may have put up.

And like an idiot I had fallen for it.

Staring around at the apartment and realizing he had just left me to fend for myself, without so much as a note....... After spouting all that nonsense about making sure I was comfortable.

And I realized with a jolt that he really only meant it for the sex. All that affection, all that concern had been just for the few hours he had me in his bed. When he meant he wanted to make me feel me meant it only for when we were having sex.

Now that he had got what he wanted , he was back to being the guy he actually was.

A complete stranger.

It made me feel so incredibly foolish .

Wetness spilled onto my foot and I realized the tub was overflowing. I closed the taps quickly before pulling the drain to lower the water level a bit.

Climbing in, I settled back against the hard edge of the tub, letting my eyes flutter shut as the warm water soothed my sore muscles.

“You’re up?”

Jungkook’s voice startled me, and I nearly went under.

“Careful.” Fingers gripped my shoulder, pulling me back to stability and I gasped out, running a hand over my face to get rid of the water.

“You... Where did you come from?” I stared at him , gripping the edges of the tub and watching him.

Jungkook looked like a breath of fresh air, hair slightly damp and clad in a white t shirt and blue jeans. He was grimacing a bit, eyebrows furrowed in evident annoyance.

“This entire room reeks.” He complained, turning on the ventilator in the corner of the bathroom.

I groaned, settling back and just staring at him as he rummaged in the cupboard, pulling out a few bottles, a fresh wash clothe and bottle of body wash.

My body hummed in delight at the thought of actually being cared for.

“I’m not even kidding, is this what having a mate is like? You look like you were in a fight with a thorny hedgerow.” He commented, making his way over , but not before stripping out of his shirt and wiggling out of his jeans.

I hummed, enjoying the view for a second as he finally settled on a small ottoman, right next to the tub.

I gave him a sweet smile.

“Why are you here?” I whispered. He reached over to press a kiss to my forehead.

“Hyung told me to come. He got caught up with work and he feels bad about leaving you here all by yourself.”

“Kim Taehyung....told you to come take care of me. Sounds fake but okay.”

Jungkook laughed.

“To be fair he actually told your brother. But Yugyeom’s busy and he also doesn’t want to see you naked and so he gave me a call.” Jungkook carefully squeezed a dollop of body wash onto the cloth, before gently smoothing the soft linen against my skin. His gaze held mine as he carefully lathered up my shoulders, my collarbones and the curve of my neck. He took care not to touch the dressing on my neck, where Taehyung had bitten me.

I smiled when one finger stretched out, tracing circles on my skin . Jungkook was too young to be subtle , and I felt a pang of guilt when I saw the very obvious look in his eye.

Arousal looked so blatant on his handsome face, lips parted, slicked wet. Eyes heavy and intent as he gently rubbed the skin near my throat, thumb now curving around my neck , gently pressing in.

His gaze met mine and I held it, feeling his hands move lower, fingers curling lightly on the curve of my breasts. When I felt the brush of his thumb on the hard peak of my nipple, I grabbed his wrist.

Tugging his hand away gently, I used my free hand to lightly flick his forehead.

“Behave.” I warned.

His gaze turned pouty and he let out a breathy, “ Just wanted to make you feel good noona.”

“You made me feel a billion times better just by showing up here today. But, I don’t want you to get mauled by Taehyung in case he’s feeling territorial again. ” I smiled, shaking my head. “ I’ll take it from here. Why don’t you go wait in the bedroom and I’ll call you when I’m done so you can help me out. of the tub.”

Which in itself , probably wouldn’t be necessary. The pills had done their trick and other than feeling well fucked, I didn’t particularly hurt.

“He doesn’t deserve you.” Jungkook’s voice was petulant , eyes clearly showing how upset he was. He moved back a bit but made no other attempt to leave.

“I thought you liked him.” I chuckled lightly as he carefully arranged the body wash and the washcloths near the tub. I reached for it myself, carefully scrubbing over my skin, for now ignoring the way Jungkook kept his eyes trained on my body as I pulled my legs up to wash them. It was odd, how little his gaze affected me compared to how my body had reacted to Taehyung last night.

With Jungkook it was...just physical.

I liked being touched , so I enjoyed sex with Jungkook.

With Taehyung it had been something so much more.

The very idea of Taehyung touching me, the idea of him wanting to touch me..that had been so overwhelming.

And so sex with Taehyung had blown my mind.

“What do you mean, like him? “ Jungkook frowned.

“It was always Tae hyung, this and Tae hyung that...” I teased. “ You were never subtle about your little man crush on him.”

I carefully grabbed the showerhead, wetting my hair gently.

Jungkook scoffed.

“Of course I like him. You can’t be a wolf and not like Kim Taehyung. He’s done so much for us.” He grabbed the shampoo off the counter but before I could take it from him, he squeezed a bit of it into his palms and sank his fingers into my hair.

“Let me do this for you, noona.,” He muttered , voice deep and soothing and I couldn’t contain the moan that escaped, his fingers feeling like heaven as they carefully lathered up the damp strands, massaging my scalp till my eyes fluttered shut.

“Taehyung has things he needs to do and ...well, I agreed to this just so he could avoid any distractions.” I said gently, reaching out and lightly touching his arm.

“That doesn’t give him the right to hurt you though. “

I laughed despite myself.

“Why do you think he hurt me?”

Jungkook stopped his ministrations.

“You wear your heart on your sleeve.”

I felt my breath catch at that. This thing with Jungkook, it wasn’t exactly the sort of thing where I felt comfortable enough sharing my feelings for someone else with him. I felt awful, embarrassed and annoyed that something I hadn’t even fully known myself was , apparently obvious to the world. .

Embarrassed because it would never be reciprocated.

Annoyed because I should have nipped this thing in the bud.

But I couldn’t talk about this now.

“It’s not... “ I hesitated. “ It’s not going to be a problem. For me. I’m going to fix it. “ The dull throb of the bite on my neck mocked me, even as I said it. I had agreed to something momentous , something that carried a lot of consequences behind it, and I had done it on a whim.

Taehyung with his honey dripping tongue and gentle but firm hands had made me dance to his tune so perfectly. But now that the act was over, I was definitely in danger of drowning.

“ So, you’re just going to hang around while he does his own thing.” Jungkook frowned.

“Actually she’s free to walk out anytime she likes.”

Taehyung’s voice broke through the bathroom like a clanging cymbal and I jerked out of the tub in shock.

Jungkook startled too, eyes going wide as he scrambled to his feet.

Taehyung looked like he had stepped right out of a magazine.

He was wearing a perfectly pressed pinstriped white button down and teal green slacks , a slim patterned tie , in hues of green and red, perfectly knotted at the base of his throat and he also had on a waistcoat, fitting him like a glove, setting off his broad shoulders and trim waist.

He had his hair styled into a perfect part, the thick silky locks arching into perfect side bangs that fell into his eyes.

Eyes that held a whole lot of fury as they took in the sight of me, naked in his tub while an almost naked Jungkook had his fingers buried in my hair.

“I thought you would still be sore from last night....but I suppose that isn’t true, if you felt the need to call for your fuck buddy so soon?” He drawled casually.

I felt anger swell inside me.

“ Jungkook was kind enough to help me out because I couldn’t even move.” I gritted out.

“A feat that required him to strip to his boxers?”

“Hyung, just chill. If I fucked her you would be able to smell it. “ Jungkook snapped, moving to shrug his clothes back on.

Taehyung ignored him , grabbing a pair of fluffy white towels from the linen closet.

He gave me a look.

“You done?” He asked shortly.

And somehow, its the sheer disinterest in his tone, the gaze that may as well be directed at a stranger on the fucking road..... That is what really stings.

I felt like the entire weight of every bad decision I had ever made in my life had just dropped on my head. Almost sagging from the sheer hurt permeating my entire body, I grabbed the edge of the tub and levered myself up, not even bothered that I was completely naked.

I stepped right out of the tub, completely ignoring the way my limbs practically screamed in protest at the movement.

I held my hand out for the towel, completely ignoring, Jungkook’s hasty, “ Fuck” or the way Taehyung’s eyes that had gone as wide as saucers.

He held the towel out and I yanked it out of his grip, wrapping the fabric around my body.

Taehyung let out a harsh, “ Get the fuck out of my house.” at Jungkook who quickly grabbed his jeans and stumbled out with a rushed.

“I’ll call you noona.”

I glared at Taehyung, refusing to so much as acknowledge him as I pushed past him into the living room.

“Jungkook wait, I’m coming with you.” I called out angrily and the wolf stopped, looking surprised as he finished pulling his jeans on, fumbling with his buttons.

“Leave, Jungkook.” Taehyung snapped.

“Uh....” Jungkook stared between the two of us.

“Why the fuck are you still here?” This time Taehyung’s voice was louder, deeper, bordering on a true snarl and Jungkook recoiled.

“Fine. I’ll just get a cab then.”

I turned to the bag with my clothes, grabbing the first thing I could get my hands on.

Taehyung’s voice came from behind me , tired and weary.

“Please don’t leave.”

I stopped, closing my eyes and willing myself not to completely lose it.

“Please , just.... I know I shouldn’t be angry. This thing with us is ...nothing.” He said softly, which , fucking ouch . Having him actually say it was so much worse.

But he wasn’t done.

“ Its just a fucking favor you’re doing me, i know that is what it is. We don’t owe each other anything I know , but if you're gonna see Jungkook just... not in my house okay. I didn’t like him with you...in my house.”

I turned around to stare at him.

“What do you think I was doing with him in your house Taehyung? He came over to help because Yugyeom was busy. You were the one who asked him to check up on me....weren’t you?”

Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair.

“I don’t fucking know...all I know is that my wolf smelled you and another alpha and-”

“You know you’re the only were who speaks like that...” I said angrily.

Taehyung blinked.

“Like what?”

“Like you and your wolf are two different entities. Like you can do any thing you want and then blame your damn wolf for it. And its beginning to piss me off.”

Taehyung flinched at that.

“I’m just... I’m trying to do this in a way that our lives don’t get fucked up. I can’t... Your father....”

“I know. I know my fucking father is a scumbag and that he needs to rot in hell and I am willing to help you do it. But if only you could just.... give me a fucking break .,...”

“I know...and I’m sorry. I just... I’m in a mess. Your father got rid of three of the dealers we could tie him to and it looks like there are other people involved in this whole thing. Other powerful men. I’m just... I’m not sure if I’m going to be able to do this without getting someone close to your father.”

I stared at him.

“Well, its not me. He hates my guts... He would never confide in me.”

“But he has a soft spot for a really close friend of mine....I believe you’ve met him....his name is Cha Eun Woo.”

I froze.

“Taehyung....” I groaned in disbelief.

“I wanted to ask you if you would pretend to date Cha Eun Woo...”

I felt like my head was about to splinter in two.

“Just long enough for me to get the info I need. Eun Woo is good at what he does and he can easily get into your father’s good graces, get him to confide in him and we could bring this entire fucking racket down...but the only way Eun woo could have access to your father would be through you.... “

Taehyung sounded desperate as he spoke, and I felt dangerously close to crying.

“So it wasn’t enough that you got to fuck me? You’re just gonna pimp me out to your friends now...” I choked out.

“Fucking hell, Rae...That’s not what this is....This is for the...”

“Greater good.....yeah... I know.... I fucking heard you today morning on the fucking phone...Telling your friend how you had to suffer through a night with me for the greater good. And that's just perfectly fine....what I really don’t understand is why you had to fucking pretend like you actually gave a shit about me.... “ I choked out , my eyes dampening against my wishes .

Taehyung froze, eyes wide.

Something awfully close to pity began to swim in them and I swallowed the bile rising up my throat.

“Fine. Tell your fucking friend to come pick me up.”

I couldn’t bring myself to even look at him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : Feedback is love.

Let me know what you guys thought.

Taglist : @veronawrites

@ladyartemesia

@jincentvangogh

@bonyg

#taehyung smut #taehyung fanfic #taehyung au #bts smut #bts fics #bts au #taehyung werewolf au #bts werewolf au #taehyung fics

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beelzegrub · 3 years

Note

can I request what would happen if we summon them while we're on human realm bc we missed them so much but lose so much blood in the process I don't really know I'm a sucker for these kind of things. thank youu!!

EDIT FROM FUTURE OP: This ask has been sitting in my drafts for months half finished and I finally found the motivation to finish. Anon, I’m so sorry for the wait. You’re a sweetheart ❤️ I was only able to do the three eldest though and I’m so sorry!!

Um hello??? I love this so much thank you!!! I thought it was kind of silly to go through all of that at the end of season 2 to just.... not use it so I’m excited about this!!!! (Sorry if this is too angsty my brain got super pumped about this and took off.

PS the request said “we” so I used a reader insert type of style. Hope that’s what you were looking for :)

MC Summons Their Demon, but at What cost?

Trigger warning!!!! Self harm/blood

How long had it been since you’d seen the him? Weeks? Months? Who knows. They all blended together after while. All you knew is that it had been too long. Why was this all so tedious? Solomon had promised to teach you the summoning ritual as soon as you could handle it. Why hadn’t he done so? Did he not trust you? Was he purposely keeping you away from the them? Surely you were strong enough at this point. Enough with the waiting. You wouldn’t sit around and any longer! You needed to see them. You needed to see him.

You flipped messily through book after book. Solomon had given you many to study for your apprenticeship. There had to be something about summoning in one of these!

“Hmm..”

You carefully read through the worn pages of one of the larger and dustier tomes. Something about this one called to you. You zoned out as you took in the information on the pages, following context clues until you found what you were looking for. The images drawn on the page seemed foreign and surprised you. A summoning circle? You had expected as much, but the repeated mentions of ‘sacrifice’ and ‘blood oath’ seemed ancient and outdated. You couldn’t help but notice there was no mention of sentimental possessions of the demon you were trying to summon as well. You were sure none of the brothers would suggest a summoning if it were dangerous though...

Out of options and out of patience, you gathered your courage and set up the ritual to the best of your ability. Things seemed to match the books instructions, at least. All that was left was the blood. You stepped into the middle of the circle and closed brought a sewing needle to the top of your finger. The book hadn’t specified the amount of blood needed, but it was better to start small, you reasoned. You closed your eyes and pricked it, quickly squeezing a single drop of blood into the center of the circle, and said the name of the person you had been desperate to see.

Lucifer

The day of the summoning, Lucifer had felt this nagging sense of danger from the moment he opened his eyes. He was so sure it was one of his brothers about to cause trouble for him once again.

Lucifer spent the day preparing for the worst. Had Mammon stolen something of vast importance? Did Levi buy another piece of cursed media? Surely Beel hadn’t eaten a poisonous dish??

That evening, tired from being on edge all day, he had retired to his study, hoping some music would help calm his nerves. He settled into his chair and closed his eyes.

Then came the pull.

It had been ages since he had felt a sensation like this. When was the last time someone had tried to summon him? Hundreds of years ago, it had to be. And it never felt as strong as this force pulling him now.

There had once been a cult of devil worshipers who sacrificed many of their members for a chance to pull him to the human world, quite surprised to find out their sacrifices had been in vain, considering Lucifer wasn’t interested in a bunch of worthless humans. But even then the tug hadn’t been this strong. Sure, he could still resist it, but the strength of it still left him awestruck. Who had the power to call to him like this?

“Lucifer!”

His blood ran cold. Immediately, he stopped resisting the call and gave in, allowing the summoning to take place.

You had done it. Lucifer was here! The strongest and most fearsome of the seven, and you had Summoned him to you. Your heart swelled when you though of how impressed he’d be when he found out you had done it all on your own. Would he praise you? Would he tease you? Would he tilt his head and smirk, then ask you if you had really missed him that much?

You smiled softly, looking up at him. The look on his face wasn’t one of pride. His eyebrows had furrowed and a frown creased deep into his face. Was he angry at you? No... you had seen his anger many times. This wasn’t it.

“MC....what have you done?”

He cradled you softly in his arms. Wait. When had he picked you up? You looked at your surroundings, the fear in the pit of your stomach ever growing. Where had all this blood come from? You had only pricked your finger! Lucifer’s hand touched your cheek, pulling your face back to him.

“Don’t look.”

You had no choice but to obey. You simply didn’t have the strength to move anymore.

“I’ve called for help, it’ll be just a moment, MC. Just keep your eyes on me.”

Lucifer’s voice was soft and soothing, and you felt your tired body relax into his hold.

“I did it... I brought you here... I did it...” you closed your eyes, a smile on your lips.

“MC, keep your eyes open. Look at me. MC! MC!”

Mammon

That day had started out much the same as always. Mammon, still sore from last nights punishment, groaned as he slumped into his desk at RAD. He rested his head in his arms against the desk, and glanced at the seat that used to belong to you. Obviously, you weren’t there, but it didn’t hurt to check....

“MC is still in the human world, Mammon.”

Mammon jumped and sat up straight in his seat, his cheeks red from being caught.

“I know that Belphie! I was just-just uh zonin’ out! MC’s old seat just happened to be in the same direction!” He stuttered out an excuse.

“Just call them, Mammon. I’m sure MC would be happy to hear your voice.” Oh great, now Beel’s getting involved too. He knew his brothers meant no harm, but all this talk about MC was getting him riled up!

“Fine! I will! I’ll call MC tonight! and you two AREN’T invited!” Mammon laid his head down once again, this time hiding his face, not wanting his blush to show a second time. Tonight he’d finally hear MC’s voice again. And he could blame Beel and Belphie for the call!

Come dinner time, Mammon had just about run out of patience. His head kept telling him to wait just a bit longer, but something in his heart was yelling for him to quit dragging his feet.

“I’m going to my room and NOBODY better interrupt me, ya hear?!” Mammon stumbled to his feet and started marching to his room, six pairs of eyes staring at him questioningly. He only made it a few steps when he felt it. A tug. He closed his eyes and swayed on his feet, dizzy from the force of it. This was a summoning, wasn’t it? He had felt it plenty of times from those damn witches, but something about this was different. He turned around to look his brothers again, a look of confusion on his face.

“I...think I’m bein’ summoned.”

Levi snorted and crossed his arms. “I’m sure you’re guilty of something. Better just get it over with.”

The rest of the brothers mumbled in agreement.

Except Lucifer.

Lucifer quickly pushed out his chair and hurried to Mammon. Something was wrong. A simple summoning wouldn’t have this effect on a demon of Mammon’s stature.

The pull came once again, stronger this time. Mammon winced and held his hand to his aching head. Lucifer’s hand came down to rest on his shoulder

“I don’t know how long I can resist this. Somethin’ isn’t right. Lucifer, what’s happening to me?” He looked to his brother for help, and found the rest of them had gathered around as well, a look of concern on all of their faces.

“Someone call for Diavolo and Barbatos. Mammon, hold on just a few more moments.” Lucifer commanded.

Mammon would have agreed, if not for the voice that rang out clearly in his head, calling his name.

“Mammon!”

Mammon’s eyes snapped open and stopped resisting the pull, hearing the shouts from his brothers disappear as he followed the call.

“Mammon! Mammon! Mammon Mammon Mammon! Please!” You couldn’t keep this up for much longer, you knew it. You had fallen to your knees moments after the initial call. You could feel every drop of blood flowing out of the pin prick on your finger, but you didn’t dare give up. You had come this far, and you wouldn’t give up now. Not until you had to.

But you didn’t have to. A flash of light blinded you momentarily, and when you could see again, there he was. Standing there was the Mammon. Relief flushed through your entire body, and you stopped pouring your magic into the spell. Utterly exhausted, your body came crashing forward, landing in front of his feet.

Mammon quickly slid to his knees on the ground, picking you up off the floor and resting your head in his lap.

“You....Are you okay, MC?” Mammon tried to keep his voice even and steady, not wanting to scare you, but his hands that held too tightly and his body that quivered gave him away.

“I am now.” You answered quietly, unsure if it was true. At least Mammon was here and holding you in his arms. Things would be okay as long as he was with you.

“You...You idiot! Stupid! What the heck were ya thinkin’!? Can’t you see how much blood you’ve lost? This isn’t how you’re supposed to be summoning us! I’m gonna kill that damn sorcerer!” Mammon felt his blood boil with each second that passed. How Could Solomon have allowed this?

You softly squeezed his hand, not having the energy to yell for his attention. Immediately, he stopped, looking at you questioningly.

“Solomon didn’t teach me this. He wouldn’t. But.... I just couldn’t wait any longer. I needed to see you.” You answered.

He frowned deeply, more troubled with this answer. You had done all this just to see him? He felt a lump in his throat form. “I would have come to you. You didn’t have to do this.” He pressed his forehead to yours, closing his eyes to stop any tears from escaping.

You cupped his cheek, returning the affection he so rarely showed. “S’okay. All that matters is you’re here now. I just...need....to rest....a little...” Your eyes fluttered closed, feeling at peace and calm in your love’s arms.

Panic. Once again, Mammon’s eyes snapped open. He placed his hand over yours, trying to gently coax you into opening your eyes once more.

“Not yet, you can’t yet, MC. We have to wait for help to come. Come on, wake up.” He knew his brothers would come. Someone would come. They wouldn’t let this happen to you. He wouldn’t let this happen to you. “MC!” When gentle touches didn’t work, he got rougher, shaking you and yelling, desperate to see your eyes open.

“Enough playin’ around MC! Wake up! WAKE UP, DAMMIT! Wake... Wake up...You have to..... Wake up....”

Leviathan

To say that Levi was missing his MC was like saying humans like air. Is it true? Yeah, but kind of an understatement. Humans needed air to live and breathe, and in his eyes, you were air. It’s no secret that Levi wasn’t exactly popular. One might even say it was well known that he was a dorky loner demon, if they were feeling particularly sassy. Being a loner has it’s advantages, like having more time for gaming and anime binging, but it sure is, well, a lonely once you’ve had someone to share your passions with. And once that someone is gone, their absence weighs heavy.

So yes, Levi was missing MC. So what? Everyone was missing MC. Why wouldn’t they? His MC was a ray of sunshine in a world of darkness. Ugh. That line sounder way cooler when the hero in his latest otome had said it. Of course his thoughts couldn’t sound that cool. But that’s not the point! Levi figured he had no right to complain about MC being gone, because he was just a gross, annoying, worthless otaku. He didn’t deserve to miss them. He was lucky he got to spend as much time with them as he did, really.

But nobody could blame him for thinking these thoughts, right? Thinking about how much he missed the way MC would cram themselves as close to him as possible to get a look at whatever mobile game he was playing was harmless. So was remembering all the nights they’d spent binging anime and then realizing the sun was up, smiling sheepishly at each other and promising not to stay up so late next time, even though they always did. Okay, so maybe thinking about the way they looked when they were fresh out of his shower, smelling of his soap and shampoo was less than innocent, but what was he supposed to do!? Leaning your damp head on his shoulder and curling up close to him like that! Doing things like that is bad for an otaku’s heart! You might give them hope or something...

Enough was enough! He didn’t have time to be obsessing over how much he missed MC. It was taking time away from his one and only true love. “Ruri-Chan, you’d never abandon me right? No, I know you wouldn’t. You’re not like that.” Levi began speaking to his latest figure. “Not to say MC IS like that! No, of course their not! They didn’t have a choice!” He stuttered out a quick fix to his hurtful words. He was glad they weren’t around to hear, but it still felt wrong to say. He was quiet for a minute, staring at his floor in shame. Slowly, he lifted his eyes back to the figure. “Do you think they miss me like I miss them?”

And then he felt it. It had been so long, but he knew this feeling.This was a summoning, wasn’t it?! Based on the intense tug he felt, it had to be a super powerful sorcerer or maybe a group of basic magic users? Honestly, he was flattered. Someone wanted to summon HIM? No, They must have made a mistake. Surely this summon was meant for one of his brothers.

Leviathan was so lost in his own self pity he missed the first two calls of his name. The third one, sounding so desperate and pleading, snapped him out of his funk in an instant. He knew that voice. Without hesitation he let the summon take him, and there he was. He was finally reunited with MC.

But it wasn’t supposed to be like this. When he finally saw them again, he was supposed to feel elated and whole again, not like a piece of his heart was ripped right out of his chest. But when he locked eyes with them, surrounded by blood and their eyes looking glassy, that’s exactly what he felt.

“MC! Oh no. Oh no.”

Levi. He was here. He had to be. You heard his voice and felt his presence, felt his arms circle around you and cradle you tightly against his chest. But why couldn’t you see him? And why did you feel so… empty?

“Levi? That’s you isn’t it? Why is it so dark?” Had the candles all gone out? No, even before you lit them, you remember it hadn’t been this dark. Something was wrong.

Levi inhaled shakily, holding back the sobs he desperately wanted to release. “MC, what are you talking about? I’m right here! Can’t you see me?”

Like a bolt of lighting, the realization hit you. It wasn’t dark. The candles hadn’t gone out. It was your eyes.

“No, Levi. I can’t. I can’t see you. I can’t see anything.” You shakily reach your hand up, frantically feeling around for your love’s face. Leviathan’s usual timid nature word have normally had him reeling away, but in this moment, he had no reservations as he helped guide your hand to his cheek. His lips trembled as he fought the urge to scream.

“MC…. Why would you do this? You’ve lost so much blood… and.. and your sight? I’m not worth this. I’m just a useless otaku! It isn’t fair!” His tears began to flow, the guilt of it all was ripping him apart.

You closed your eyes and smiled as you remembered the many faces of this man you had called to you. “It was worth it. I did it because I love you, Levi. I need you. After all, what good is a Henry without his lord?”

#obey me #shall we date? obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mc #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #reader insert #tw self harm #tw sewing needle prick #tw blood #this was way to long winded I overdid it

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