#sexuality and representation

[codename-adler]

In honour of this Pride, here’s a stupid little lesson I’ve come to learn on my own, that might help anyone of you out there struggling with questioning your sexuality or gender like me, and perhaps shaking some sense into some of y’all questioning the legitimacy of some letters in the 2SLGBTQIA+ community.

If a certain sexuality baffles you, as in you understand what it’s suppose to mean but you just don’t get how someone could experience attraction that way…

…it just means it’s not your sexuality. That’s it.

It enrages, appalls, dumbfounds you that someone might feel this or that way sexually because you just can’t fathom it? Not your sexuality. Therefore not your problem. Let it go, bud. Read the label and put it back on the shelf. It’s that easy. If you cannot comprehend and accept that someone might exist like this, then how is your opinion of any relevance? Newsflash, it’s not. We’re not asking you to love it, to live that way, to fight for us. We’re just telling you to get out of the way. And it’s nobody’s job to make themself palatable to you. It’s no one’s duty to justify their validity to you. It’s not a philosophy class. It’s not a math problem. It’s somebody’s existence. It is non-negotiable.

Now.

For those of you for which sexuality boggles you, like me, in a way that has nothing to do with hate and discrimination, let me elaborate with an example.

I, 24F, cis, have come a long way on my journey to understand myself. Sexually, I’ve been consciously questioning myself since I was 14. Subconsciously? Who knows how long. I’ve made peace with certain aspects, am at war with others. Lots of clarity has been reached in the recent years. The journey is still not over in that regard. Here is what I’ve come to understand in the process.

I could never get how someone identifying as pansexual could experience attraction for anyone regardless of gender. It just didn’t seem possible. Because gender matters to me when it comes to how I experience attraction. Because I was not, therefore, pansexual. So I can cross that off my list. That’s all it means.

I could never get how someone, identifying like I do gender-wise, could experience attraction only for men, and not women. It just seemed impossible. Because I could never experience attraction only for men, and never not experience attraction for women. Because I was not, therefore, heterosexual. That’s it. Cross it off the list.

I could never get how one-night-stands work for some people. How some people could genuinely find someone sexually attractive and feel horny for them without knowing them. It sounded so fake, like a lie, like something out of a movie. Because I do not work that way. Because I was not, therefore, allosexual. Cross it off, cross it off, cross it off.

If you don’t get it, you’re probably not it. That is all it means, all it should mean. And there is nothing wrong with you. If the label makes no sense to you, put it down and try another until you feel some sort of enlightenment. Something that settles in your skin just right, something that feels like a home that’s been waiting for you. I promise it exists. The search is a mess, it is confusing af, there are more trials and errors than wins. But just because those labels feel alien doesn’t mean they can’t help you. You have just begun scratching the surface. Give yourself time, and tools. Engage. Talk. Read. The same goes for your gender identity.

If something feels too foreign in a way that doesn’t sit right within you, don’t cling to it and try to make yourself less comfortable for it. Thank it, put it back out there, and move on. Don’t be sad and ashamed to let go of an old label when it doesn’t fit you anymore. Don’t be scared and closed-off if a new label seems to call for you. Don’t feel weird and wrong if labels are not something that help you. Don’t feel weird and wrong if labels are something you need. Don’t be afraid of the unknown. Look it in the eye and see it for what it is: progress.

I speak from my own experience, because it is something I wish I could have known so much earlier, especially in terms of asexuality and its spectrum. There were and always will be waves of knowledge that come and go, and I guess I just wanted to put my little piece of mind out there, in case it helps someone avoid the confusion and hurt I went through. This might be very obvious and stupid to many. It wasn’t to me. Maybe this is only for me, to evaluate my progress and see my journey in its whole. Hope it helps, though.

Happy pride everybody and take care.

[queeringclassiclit]

Which adaptation of Sherlock Holmes is the most queer?

*not including House M.D. because it's not really an adaptation, or any overtly queer pastiches like My Dearest Holmes or The Adventure of the Furtive Festivity because that's not really a fair contest

[blitzwhore]

HELL YES

They said in the comments that these are all canon 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 happy pride to us holy shit

[rrcraft-and-lore]

In addition to my Monkey Man post from earlier, the always kind & sweet Aparna Verma (author of The Phoenix King, check it out) asked that I do a thread on Hijras, & more of the history around them, South Asia, mythology (because that's my thing), & the positive inclusion of them in Monkey Man which I brought up in my gushing review.

Hijra: They are the transgender, eunuch, or intersex people in India who are officially recognized as the third sex throughout most countries in the Indian subcontinent. The trans community and history in India goes back a long way as being documented and officially recognized - far back as 12th century under the Delhi Sultanate in government records, and further back in our stories in Hinduism. The word itself is a Hindi word that's been roughly translated into English as "eunuch" commonly but it's not exactly accurate.

Hijras have been considered the third sex back in our ancient stories, and by 2014 got official recognition to identify as the third gender (neither male or female) legally. Pakistan, Nepal, Bangladesh, and India have accepted: eunuch, trans, intersex people & granted them the proper identification options on passports and other government official documents.

But let's get into some of the history surrounding the Hijra community (which for the longest time has been nomadic, and a part of India's long, rich, and sometimes, sadly, troubled history of nomadic tribes/people who have suffered a lot over the ages. Hijras and intersex people are mentioned as far back as in the Kama Sutra, as well as in the early writings of Manu Smriti in the 1st century CE (Common Era), specifically said that a third sex can exist if possessing equal male and female seed.

This concept of balancing male/female energies, seed, and halves is seen in two places in South Asian mythos/culture and connected to the Hijra history.

First, we have Aravan/Iravan (romanized) - who is also the patron deity of the transgender community. He is most commonly seen as a minor/village deity and is depicted in the Indian epic Mahabharata. Aravan is portrayed as having a heroic in the story and his self-sacrifice to the goddess Kali earns him a boon.

He requests to be married before his death. But because he is doomed to die so shortly after marriage, no one wants to marry him.

No one except Krishna, who adopts his female form Mohini (one of the legendary temptresses in mythology I've written about before) and marries him. It is through this union of male, and male presenting as female in the female form of Mohini that the seed of the Hijras is said to begun, and why the transgender community often worships Aravan and, another name for the community is Aravani - of/from Aravan.

But that's not the only place where a gender non conforming divine representation can be seen. Ardhanarishvara is the half female form of lord Shiva, the destroyer god.

Shiva combines with his consort Parvarti and creates a form that represents the balancing/union between male/female energies and physically as a perfectly split down the middle half-male half-female being. This duality in nature has long been part of South Asian culture, spiritual and philosophical beliefs, and it must be noted the sexuality/gender has often been displayed as fluid in South Asian epics and the stories. It's nothing new.

Many celestial or cosmic level beings have expressed this, and defied modern western limiting beliefs on the ideas of these themes/possibilities/forms of existence.

Ardhanarishvara signifies "totality that lies beyond duality", "bi-unity of male and female in God" and "the bisexuality and therefore the non-duality" of the Supreme Being.

Back to the Hijra community.

They have a complex and long history. Throughout time, and as commented on in the movie, Monkey Man, the Hijra community has faced ostracization, but also been incorporated into mainstream society there. During the time of the Dehli Sultanate and then later the Mughal Empire, Hijras actually served in the military and as military commanders in some records, they were also servants for wealthy households, manual laborers, political guardians, and it was seen as wise to put women under the protection of Hijras -- they often specifically served as the bodyguards and overseers of harems. A princess might be appointed a Hijra warrior to guard her.

But by the time of British colonialism, anti-Hijra laws began to come in place folded into laws against the many nomadic tribes of India (also shown in part in Monkey Man with Kid (portrayed by Dev Patel) and his family, who are possibly

one of those nomadic tribes that participated in early theater - sadly by caste often treated horribly and relegated to only the performing arts to make money (this is a guess based on the village play they were performing as no other details were given about his family).

Hijras were criminalized in 1861 by the Indian Penal Code enforced by the British and were labeled specifically as "The Hijra Problem" -- leading to an anti-Hijra campaign across the subcontinent with following laws being enacted: punishing the practices of the Hijra community, and outlawing castration (something many Hijra did to themselves). Though, it should be noted many of the laws were rarely enforced by local Indian officials/officers. But, the British made a point to further the laws against them by later adding the Criminal Tribes Act in 1871, which targeted the Hijra community along with the other nomadic Indian tribes - it subjected them to registration, tracking/monitoring, stripping them of children, and their ability to sequester themselves in their nomadic lifestyle away from the British Colonial Rule.

Today, things have changed and Hijras are being seen once again in a more positive light (though not always and this is something Monkey Man balances by what's happened to the community in a few scenes, and the heroic return/scene with Dev and his warriors). All-hijra communities exist and sort of mirror the western concept of "found families" where they are safe haven/welcoming place trans folks and those identifying as intersex.

These communities also have their own secret language known as Hijra Farsi, which is loosely based on Hindi, but consists of a unique vocabulary of at least 1,000 words.

As noted above, in 2014, the trans community received more legal rights.

Specifically: In April 2014, Justice K. S. Radhakrishnan declared transgender to be the third gender in Indian law in National Legal Services Authority v. Union of India.

Hijras, Eunuchs, apart from binary gender, be treated as "third gender" for the purpose of safeguarding their rights under Part III of our Constitution and the laws made by the Parliament and the State Legislature. Transgender persons' right to decide their self-identified gender is also upheld and the Centre and State Governments are directed to grant legal recognition of their gender identity such as male, female or as third gender.

I've included some screenshots of (some, not all, and certainly not the only/definitive reads) books people can check out about SOME of the history. Not all again. This goes back ages and even our celestial beings/creatures have/do display gender non conforming ways.

There are also films that touch on Hijra history and life. But in regards to Monkey Man, which is what started this thread particularly and being asked to comment - it is a film that positively portrayed India's third sex and normalized it in its depiction. Kid the protagonist encounters a found family of Hijras at one point in the story (no spoilers for plot) and his interactions/acceptance, living with them is just normal. There's no explaining, justifying, anything to/for the audience. It simply is. And, it's a beautiful arc of the story of Kid finding himself in their care/company.

[the-chaotic-snek]

Props to Craig Pelton for literally screaming and saying " I don't fit in a box, and it doesn't matter to me" Representation for everyone who doesn't wanna be in a box

[thearoacefromspace]

“Some of us, I don’t wanna name names, are pretty rude to asexual and aromantic people, and it makes me feel-”

Straight people : “is it me?”

“No”

Queer people: “is it me?”

“…it’s not straight people”

[redysetdare]

It's all "you guys need to understand how SUBTEXT and CODING are usually the only confirmation of representation queer people get in media especially in older media" but once that subtext and coding is used to say a character might be aro or ace coded/have aro/ace subtext then suddenly it's not a valid way to claim representation. Then it's only "headcanon" or "not confirmed" like do you all hear yourselves? It'd be so much easier to say you hate aro/ace ppl at this rate!

[a-bisexual-panicking]

the amount of serotonin that my brain produces when I see those two fucked up gay men is unbelievable

[saltyyetbland]

ngl im fucking terrified of how the fandom will act when the asian ccs get added and they are confronted with asian customs such as honorifics, asian cultural norms, and the language itself (ie words that are common in one language that sounds like a slur in another) and i know most of the fandom will be open and welcoming but idk im probably being way too pessimistic as someone who is asian and has seen the bs that people can spew esp regarding things like stereotypes

[bxdtime-ceai]

representation is great but i wish there were more aro/ace/aroace characters who aren't teenagers. i want to see young, middle aged and older adults discover/talk about their aro/ace/aroace identities. there is so much variation! so many stories to tell! but i dont think we can get this kind of representation without addressing the entertainment industry's obsession with youth

[eschergirls]

milkawa-and-co submitted:

"Don't you hate it when zombies attack during your bunny dance reharsal ? Ad for Doomsday: Last Survivor by IGG.COM. They have so many ads of sexy girls in weird outfits"

Zombies are so rude.  But also polite because they seem to be letting her get away despite her not very efficient running style.  I'm going to assume they probably have her in heels or something below frame, if this game even exists in any way below this very specific frame of ad space which it probably doesn't.

Incidentally, you know all those terrible mobile game ads that we see with fake games that aren't at all what the games are like.  Apparently somebody actually turned them into a collection of games.  So if you've ever actually wanted to play those weird games, they exist now! (this is not an ad, i just think it's funny)  I don't know if "prancing away from zombies in my bunny ears and yoga pants while pushing my butt out" is a game in that collection though.  Maybe the next one...

[cripplecharacters]

(asphalt anon part 1/2) is it okay to say that someone with a neurological or developmental disorder that makes their mental age younger than they physically are shouldn't be romantically or sexually involved with someone whose mental and physical age are much older? for example a 25 year old with the mental age of a 14 year old and another 25 year old whose mental age is still 25. bcuz ive seen people say that you shouldnt "baby" people with ___ disorder, and they can still be in

(asphalt anon part 2/2) and they can still be in relationships, but i assume it doesn't apply to people whose mental age is far younger than their physical age? not sure though so i wanted to check, thanks

Hello,

Okay, so, mental age is an outdated medical term and seen as offensive by people with intellectual, cognitive, and/or developmental disabilities. I'll use IDD as an example. The character doesn't have the mind of a fourteen-year-old, they have the mind of a twenty-five-year-old with IDD. They're still very much twenty-five, they just have disabilities that affect their brains.

And if the character is capable of understanding what a relationship and sex is and the risks associated with both, it's perfectly fine for them to engage in either thing with another consenting character. Some people with IDD are perfectly capable of giving and receiving informed consent, this is something a lot of advocates with these disabilities have stressed. There are some people who might not be capable of understanding relationships, sex, and the risks associated with both, meaning they're unable to give informed consent, but not all people with these disabilities are like that. It's absolutely okay to respectfully portray those who are, but keep in mind that intellectual, cognitive, and developmental disability are very diverse spectrums.

Here is a post by zebulontheadult discussing this topic in a real-world context

So yes, it can be perfectly fine for the character to be in a relationship with a character who doesn't have the same disability. As long as the character can understand relationships, sex, and the risks of both, they are capable of giving informed consent.

Mod Aaron

[exvangelical-christian-nerd]

tw discussion of aphobia and sexuality

One thing I absolutely love about Hazbin Hotel is the diversity of representation in it. However I do note a lack of respect for that same diversity in the Fandom and it infuriates me. Yes, I am primarily talking about Alastor. Alastor is canonically AroAce. There seems to be a complete disregard for that in a large portion (though not all of course) of the Fandom. I've seen him shipped with Lucifer, Vox, Rosie, and Angel. I also want to say I've seen him shipped with Charlie and Vaggie, though, fortunately, not particularly commonly. Now I do understand that desire and attraction are not necessarily synonymous. Dude, I’m aro (specifically demi-ro) and allos3xual ( bi specifically), I'm familiar. I also know QPRs are a thing. However the implications in the vast majority of shipping posts is not that a desire (without attraction) is being filled or that the relationship is a QPR. It is an implication of romantic and/or (usually and) s3xual attraction and chemistry. Also in addition to the attraction situation there's another issue I have with these ships, I would say canonically it is implied that Alastor is not only AroAce, but is also sex repulsed (I'm not going to go into my arguments for that in this post, but maybe in another). Now if you're looking at me going “Didn't the creator say we could ship anybody with anybody” or “it doesn't really matter,” Let me put a question to you. If you saw a character who was canonically confirmed to be lesbian, and a large portion of people in the Fandom started constantly shipping her with every single man in the cannon, would you still have this same level of apathy? I doubt it. If people were excusing it with “it’s just my headcanon ” or “the creator said we can ship anybody” would that change anything? No that would still be lesbian erasure I'm pretty sure I'd be seeing a lot of posts with people up in arms about it, right? Why aren't we bringing the same energy here. It's the same thing. This is AroAce erasure. Now if you're saying, and I've seen people say this kind of thing, “it's just a character it doesn't matter. Pick something that does,” Yes it does matter. There are very, very few confirmed AroAce characters, just in general. We know that representation matters. Also aphobia is a problem not only outside, but also inside of the LGBTQ + community. There are people who tell aro and ace people they aren’t really part of the LGBTQ+ community, even to the extent of not allowing them in LGBTQ+ spaces. Our character representation deserves the same respect as yours. We deserve respect.

[perseidlion]

Y'know, the reason I don't have a problem with actors playing queer characters when we don't know their orientation (aside from the fact that it's not our business) is that properly embodying a queer character is itself an act of queerness.

I'm not talking about the shitty and stereotypical portrayals. But if the performance is convincing, heartfelt, genuine, empathetic, sexy, and resonant? That tells me the actor has enough queerness in their heart to connect with that character and embody them.

I would never label someone against their will and insist I'm right about this, but I also don't need someone to publicly declare their identity to accept someone as a queer character.

If what's there on the screen is genuine and empathetic, the proof is in the pudding.

[charlotte-buff]

The term “queerbaiting” has lost all meaning

I’ve been scrolling through the Buddy Daddies tag again for hours on end, as one does, and while this is thankfully a minority opinion I still saw it crop up often enough that it’s starting to piss me off.

The insinuation that two men living together for 14 years, caring for each other, Kazuki selflessly bathing Rei, cooking for him, and cleaning his apartment at the lowest point of both their lives, adopting and raising a child together, Rei sleeping comfortably for the first time in his life when it’s in the same bed with his partner and daughter, literally taking on a massive crime syndicate on their own to protect their found family, Rei permanently disabling himself by shooting his own dominant arm point blank just so he can leave his old life behind and stay with Kazuki and Miri, with whom he shares a bond that is – and I quote – stronger than blood...

That all of that is supposed to add up to nothing more than “bait” or “gay subtext”, it honestly makes me angry. This is one of the queerest fucking stories that has ever come out of the anime industry but somehow it’s not “gay enough” for some people just because there was no on-screen kissing.

What do you people actually want!?

[moonmoonthecrabking]

i am very much appreciating not only the rise in young bi characters but them being parts of ensemble queer casts of happy and hopeful shows