#so the fact that im still here doesnt even mean much. im just too terrified to leave.

[darknoverse]

🎫 here's a gush pass ^^ feel free to gush about whichever f/o you want, however much you want, then send this ask to 3 other self shippers (optional) !

a- whole gush pass? all for little ol' me?????

*grabs papers*

ok soooooo a whole essay about NOS4a2 and why he matters to me sm as a f/o ever

k so, starting off.

what makes him special design wise?

first of all, his whole design is sharp and edgy(literally.lotta edges). each end is pointy and sharp . lotta triangles used in his design. but despite that there's something interesting about how he has a cape (something usually made out of soft fabrics) as a cover, but even so the sharpness REMAINS. something else is how he has like two different eyes, which one of them is a monocle which is slay idk lol. also something else is how he's not like- he doesnt look strong physically at first sight even tho he's trully capable of being so . also fangs; LITERAL energy vampire, it's so cool as a concept.

ok personality wise:

most of the times he's on scene, it's always this very classic "muahahaha evil" kinda deal, he's silly af. geniunely enjoying it . he keeps on making stupid unfunny jokes all the time and he laughs at his own stupid jokes lol. idk i think it's cute and sillly waaaaaaaaaaaaa

BUT! he's capabe of being TRULY TERRIFYING (like half the robotic gore in BLOSC is caused by him lol, also his plan in ROTM was dark af)

it's even more interesting cuz his motivations are simply, yes being in charge as a SECOND need. the FIRST need is mainly to feed on robots. SENTIENT ROBOTS. LIKE HE D O E S WANT TO FEEL THE THRILL OF THE KILL. HE COULD JUST DRAIN from lifeless machines, but he'd rather HUNT and play with his food, if you will.

it's just very interesting.

now, SPECIFICALLY WHY do I like Nos and why is he so important to me?

so in general i was/still am a villain apologist ok? i always loved villains, no matter how evil they were. it sortz felt really comforting. but something about Nos specifically felt very special . possibly the fact that the first episode i watched in general was Revenge of the monsters (aka the climax of his character in everyway) .so basically my first impression was based on seeing him in his best if u know what i mean . like if it was any other episode things would've gone differently but that's not the case as you see. like ROTM is like this whole bigger climax yk? say, if it was another episode there's a high chance zurg could've been my fav character but boy he literally ran like a coward in ROTM so i just didnt care much cuz he wasnt in the ep as much as NOS.

like yea in an alternate reality it could've been Zurg but NUH UH . Nos it is.

also the fact that ROTM is like, as i said, sorta sums up his whole character in a great way . so when I watch that episode i IMMEDIATLY got attached especially when my introduction to the series is this. both his ultimate downfall and like .. the top of his character arc . like, INSTANT attachement.

another thing to note is how like … the whole episodes sorta focused on his turning every Z to an N .

ok here i might start explaining things a bit too personally here but ok it's an essay . ok so the circumstances of me watching the show for the first time were…something.

see i didn't have much friends back then as a kid. even the ones i had were pretty much SO different and can't understand me cuz im that shy, weird kid who goes on info dumping about my interests it might get annoying. but nobody understood those interests except ONE friend. whom just left and idk where he is till now. another thing to add, being the weird kid sorta let people exclude me and/or bully me soooo yeah .

so my putting that into prespective with the whole Ns all over the place thing in that specific episode sort of.. made me relate ya know? feel like it's specifically an episode for me . there was something nice and comforting about it.

the fact that it's the first letter of my name (which at the time was a big deal cuz all my favs didnt specifically put that fact into like, part of the story like Nos if u get me.) like, something about a villain i KNOW has the first same letter in their name as me, being all goofy yet menacing, also a vampire of sort -i am obsessed since day one idk) just felt right.

last part of this might sound silly or stupid but like . another reason WHY i felt this connection to Nos specifically till now :

people i know irl did NOT know what blosc was.

even the few who knew, don't remember it or specifically know who Nos was when i asked them.

so it's like "damn. all this epic character being so obscure and unknown despite everything they did?…sounds like me "

so until i went online and find more blosc mutuals (and till i went to Uni where people know it somewhat and still take show suggestions seriously from me) it just felt like this one character was specificaly made for me . like, this one character nobody knows except me . cuz i'm just as unknown and as unnoticed irl .

conclusion:

and to this day that still stands . Nos is still one of the turning points in my life in general. be it in art , in social life , or in general anyways. still my favourite fictional character of all time . my Top 1 fav and my main comfort character along Antasma and Zira for similar reasons.

thank you for coming to my cringe talk btw and reading all this lol.

[wariolandthepipdimension]

im so mad at myself. is it even my turn to vent yet probably not but fuck the rules baby

uh. tw for me yapping about suicide and general queerphobia and bullying and shit

i keep fucking staying up until 5 am on my phone because im scared of sleeping because i might have nightmares about otherwise trivial things that irritate me because im a stupid self centered bitch whos so scared of a little bit of hate because apparently its almost like that person wants to kill me.

and staying up on my phone isn't even the thing im worried about here its the fact that im mostly on tumblr. because its the only place i feel safe. and what if my mom finds it through the apps i spend the most time on and looks at my blog and sees that i dont strictly use she/her pronouns and supports palestine and supports all queer identities and actually does kill me. or at least does something that leads to me. you know. committing chapter 8 my life ends here.

and also the fact that i stay up all night and go to sleep until 1 pm. i feel so disgusting and lazy depression probably doesnt even excuse it atp im probably just looking for comfort since nobody else can give it to me i mean others have it far worse than i do lol

and Him. dont fucking forget about Him. i had a fucking nightmare about him touching me. not even in anywhere intimate just on my head. just the idea of him making any form of physical contact with me is fucking repulsive. im absolutely terrified to go back to school because what if hes planning things to do to hurt me. what if he has more friends to harm me. what if he hurts Her because Shes one of the only people who trusts me. he didnt even do that much he just made me extremely uncomfortable

literally the only four things keeping me from killing myself are my online friends and the spicy cookies from the hit korean mobile game franchise known as cookie run (specifically only peperoncino and habanero and capsaicin and the other scovillia cookies but my prove is still pointen) and the haha funny wario game released for the nintendo wii on july 24 2008 and the one girl from my school i have an extremely obsessive crush on and if she Finds Out™ then 3/4 of those things (or all 4 if she's sick enough to keep me out of school to "protect me further from the gay agenda") are gonna be taken away from me and. quick question to my mom. do you want a dead child? no? then get your shit together and stop making baseless threats against me for having human decency.

"why do you hide everything from me????????? 🥺🥺🥺" well if you never made those threats to me because i reacted in an almost justified way when you were being hateful about trans people i would have felt more comfortable telling you things. and dont even try and say "but i support the gays too!!!!!!! but not the mutilation psychos!!!!!!" youd probably tell someone to stop shoving it in their faces if you saw even a little tiny lesbian flag pin on their jacket. and stop using psycho for every person you ever so slightly have beef with. its getting annoying and not everyone who thinks trans people should have basic rights has a psychotic disorder. thank you <3

i wouldve been more hopeful about everything if my parents didnt have fucking fox news on every evening and not one not two but THREE FUCKING PRO TRUMP SHITSTUFF in their front yard. these fuckers never learn. i hope blue wins this year so i can see them wail and bitch about their stupid little fascist orange losing. but again thats just one of the dumb little trivial things that frustrate me beyond my limits. i find it funny how i pretend im just. not interested in anything political but. does a backflip

my fucking god can someone just fucking euthanize me. wait not even that. just fucking torture me and keep me alive. like do some wild shit. make the devil shiver even more than he would when a nice guy loses his temper.

i know im overreacting. i know im just making shit up like the self centered pile of flesh i am. but im so mad right now im beyond livid i might blast glittertown in my earbuds again to at least dull the rage

[mbat]

i think i made a post before but i cant find it but literally its funny as hell seeing people be like 'this show curses too much!' about those two shows (which this post is NOT about istg dont start discourse) but also people are rightfully fighting back about every single websites abysmal censoring system where people arent allowed to say things like 'dead' or 'suicide' or other topics like that despite them being both basic facts of life and also important conversations to have

its especially clear on channels and accounts where they consistently talk about crime cases, or generally serious topics. i follow several channels like that on youtube, and almost every single one doesnt dare say the words that literally are the word for what theyre discussing, because their fragile sponsorships dont like it, or youtube doesnt like it, and its like. are you actually fucking kidding me. and its genuinely a shock when they actually say these words.

and i dont use tiktok very often, and when i do its usually just videos of people making art, but its hard to avoid seeing tiktoks on other social media, and how people will censor words to hell and back so that their video isnt shadowbanned or whatever those stupid words are to mean 'this video is fucked and youre fucked for making it'

im sick of seeing people have to say shit like unalive and self unaliving TO DISCUSS BASIC FACTS OF LIFE. people die. people kill themselves. yes its fucking awful and depressing and terrifying, but its beyond a joke to act like its something to hide away from.

its also extremely important that we do talk about these things, and talk about them like real people do, because of how often they happen, and how serious they are.

do you know the amount of times ive seen people unironically say the word unalive outside of these places? or people come to tumblr and they say it here because they think that you cant say those words here? its embarassing.

the internet is becoming increasingly more corporate ideal and its gross. i cannot put into words how much i hate how the internet feels like one continuous corporate website. i miss how the internet was back when i first started using it, even if it was the wild west and extremely far from a place a child shouldve been. and even then i was on an internet that wasnt anything like how it was even a decade previous to that, what would be about 20 years ago now, where the internet was even more of a wild west.

i dont like that we have to bend a knee to the wants of corporations just to exist on this thing that once felt magical. the place where every person ever has the possibility to be connected from anywhere, see and experience things they never could without it

and yet here we are not even being able to say things that people do experience every day. its just disgusting.

im not advocating that there be 0 lines to cross, theres still things that should be like 'hey maybe dont say or do that', but im talking the things that literally hurt no one.

so sure, say what you will about those shows, maybe i agree, but i really dont give a single shit about the discourse or any of that. and yeah maybe they do say shit and fuck a little bit much, but holy hell are they at least allowed to say it, and its a breath of fresh air to me, and thats also just embarassing.

[blueeandyellowmakesgreen]

so. phinbella and byler.

thinking about this post where it compares byler and phinbella from phineas and ferb along with more important points and,,,

and the more i think about it, the more i get confident. bc im now realizing how.. alike the two pairings actually are, especially now that its official that will ripped off the bandaid and decided to move on.

yes im making a long-ass parallel analysis involving stranger things and phineas and ferb. dont talk to me

so in PnF, phineas and isabella are established as childhood best friends first, who clearly love each other. in how the episodes are set up, we always see isabella's pov and never get a glimpse of phineas'. mike and phineas are the same in regards to both being clearly intelligent leaders but oblivious as fuck when it comes to emotions or feelings. (lol though the difference between isabella and will is that isabella was BLATANTLY obvious and phineas' obliviousness was supposed to be played off as a joke bc of how dense he is)

but even if phineas is dense, he always, always showed signs of caring about isabella. some examples of what he did for her was building an entire haunted house to cure her hiccups, giving her an extravagant surprise birthday party, and even making a giant ice cream sundae to help cure her tonsilitis.

he also has instances where he just says shit friends arent Supposed to Say to Each Other

(hmm...who else do we see showing their friend a lot more attention and care that goes.. beyond platonic territory?)

phineas and mike are the same in the way they show a special kind of love to isabella and will. yes, they still both care about the others in their group, but other people can vouch they wouldn't do the things they did for anyone else other than their respective best friends. in core, it is romantic, even if the person doesnt know it is.

and as for the comparison between isabella and will, theyre devoted and head over heels in love with their best friends, but are terrified of how the other will think. they both also had moments where they pushed their own feelings aside for the good of the other and for their happiness, even if it means that isabella and will dont get what they want because they love them way too much.

anyway im mostly talking about mike and phineas here bc of the solidarity with their mind being full of rocks

so moving on to the episode where phinbella got together.

this episode was considered a miracle because we finally got to see both phineas and isabella's pov. isabella moved on during jhs and became more distant due to her planning for college and other volunteer work.

but even after everything, despite trying to forget phineas, it only took her seeing one photo of him for all of that effort to be in vain because she realizes that 10 years of friendship is too much to just 'get over'.

sound familiar on whose arc that's similar to? that's right, will. if we’re referring to the script, will is in the process of deciding to move on in s4 and keep his distance, accepting the fact he lost mike to el; when we as the viewers know he didnt. he's too caught up in his own insecurities to realize mike values him a lot, hence the bedroom scene between him and mike. will is gonna realize eventually that no matter how much he tries, he cannot let go of mike so easily considering their years of history.

as for phineas, its revealed he genuinely did not know that isabella loved him despite all the hints she gave to him. and its only after she left and became more distant during summer that phineas realizes how much he valued her, and even confirmed he started having feelings for her during high school. it also took other people to say it to his face that isabella had a giant crush on him for him to finally look for her and confess before she goes off to college.

again, another parallel! theyre both oblivious as fuck!

mike is confirmed by finn and the duffers that mike knows jack shit about what will feels. the script that was released showed us absolutely no insight on mike's thoughts, which is already telling on itself.

and in the end, phineas and isabella chased each other, talked, and finally admitted their feelings for one another and got together.

it leaves us the good kind of ambiguity that if mike is clueless, it doesnt mean he'll react to will negatively. thats the reason the possibility of mike finding out will lied about the painting is SO important because it's the end all be all moment for both of them. the ‘Oh.’ moment. so if mike and will just talk, then everything falls into place. they will have THE heart to heart.

so in conclusion, if we think about it this way and compared them both a bit more on how will 'ripped off the bandaid', it doesnt immediately mean its over. because like people said, will decided to move on, but that is not an utmost guarantee that the boy will. 10 years of feelings is not something you can forget or move past from. and lastly, we know nothing about mike's pov and how he's gonna take it if he does find out.

this realization also hit me harder on how fucking romantic coded byler is because of how many parallels we can pick up from these two alone. we have the perfect setup of person A falling in love and giving up. now, we're just missing person B’s realisation, then chasing A. finally they talk, probably kiss, and for once be on the same page.

this shit aint over, guys. byler is endgame.

[pirunika]

My Problems with Astraeus & MC

when i look past all the fanon n worldbuilding n the storyline i think for my MC,,, the route w/o anything added leaves a bitter taste sometimes... provided its shorter then others but its still... and im bored

For example... when complete w how the MC acts in his route i dont like how Astraeus calls her his 'greatest muse' and at one point likens her to the main art piece in a gallery. Normally itd b cute but here its :///

bc she does act as distant as a piece in a museum.

She never tries to understand him or be there for him... 'get down to his level' in a way, take care of him... idk give a little massage something... even he's bleeding out he's the one taking care of her... not only that she's constantly annoyed by how he speaks, by his greatest passion (poetry) i never feel like she knows things abt him or tries to get to know him (or like what she knows) and naturally he puts her up on a pedestal to admire.

They kind of just...have sex. And Astraeus has this mysterious connection to her heart for some reason other than that do they even have anything in common... She's the subject of his intense love but now that i read carefully i don't think its returned. Girl at least throw a 'I'll never leave you' or sth... Which is why i think he brings up the idea of a seperation a couple times bc he doesnt feel secure... Or thinks he s holding her back & and is afraid of her comparing him to Hades' in possessiveness (which was also unpleasent fyi... there can b a mid ground)

Who says... 'Yeah if you wish we can get seperated' when remembering a beloved union... im not all hard on MC tho dw now its Astraeus' turn xD 'would mine really be more binding' my dear boy MC was about to be sacrificed when you found her SHE DIDNT SIMPLY JUMP INTO YOUR ARMS

Yeah it looks like your husband does think that despite being in the middle of the events. I was offended for her here and wished she'd turn his proposal down as it looks like it doesnt mean much to him and he will leave as soon as he finds the next shiny thing. He seems fickle.

Another thing... Id have liked a serious apology from Astraeus abt how he acted in Hades' route... This -

aint it chief. Like i give sm excuses to him n actually find him a lot more charming then Hades there despite it being his route but that does not change the fact he did try to forcibly kiss her, threatened her, forcibly kissed her this time and grabbed her.... A couple times. Yuck. The problem isnt that he did those id have expected worst from a man who spent centuries in that hellhole but that the story takes this too lightly. No i never found it funny how he treated her partly bc the canon mc was terrified. Wtf

Speaking of that Hellhole...

You literally didnt. You were waiting in Tartarus for forever if not for the MC. Um how dare you??? You could say he's trying to get Herakles' attention here by making MC seem like a bystander but i dont think so tbh. It feels like he does believe this. And its such a weird ooc moment... Hades literally kicked his ass w 1 arm... Twice. Later he's like ohhhh MC youre so powerful and it sounds so hollow

Another > when they mention her heart 'calling him' like a phone call. You really didnt have to make it sound like that lmao. It feels like she rang him -_-; 'heard your heart what do you want' like... this very sentence haunts me. İdk Astraeus get milk on the way home

[woahajimes]

So I have this little headcanon (well,,,, not really a headcanon but more of a nice-to-think-about headcanon because it would never happen but it’s- like the title- nice to think about so im sharing it here) in which they’re all going to the beach in this sorta mini-van that bruce rented. And take in mind that this is the wayne family, but at the same time most people that wear a bat on their chest,,,, so they had to whack some things up.

BUT ANYWAYS, it was Bruce’s dumbass idea to buy a van and call it a road-trip, and honestly? no one was ready. That usually happens with big families, even with one that has most kids over 18. And how everyone was on board with the idea doesn’t matter because this is my headcanon and they are all now squished in a minivan and there are bags in the back and towels in the seats and there’s a cooler on top because it didn’t fit. 

and just for reference the van was like SMALL. it was sort of like the school buses but way smaller, so they’re like buses in which there are three seats in front, driver, and then like two others (the middle one doesn’t really count because that’s where you put waterbottles and stuff). There’s a sort of space in the back, where you usually put the backpacks (these are like elementary school buses and every single kid has those backpacks with wheels and it’s a pain in the ass-) and then there is another set of four seats (that’s more like a sofa but no armrest- god please have patience there is literally not a single image on google im trying to be specific- and those are facing the back of the bus (so the backrest (?) is facing the place with the bags).

THEN we have another seat that’s close to this one but facing the opposite way but it’s only THREE seats so there’s a space for the next row of three seats and then there’s the back one that’s four again.

In conclusion, you can fit 18-ish people, driver counted. 

and continuing with my story, it’s Bruce driving, Alfred as shotgun, a water-bottle or two in the middle, the bags in their respective places... and then... 

disaster. 

Babs is the only one sitting in the four-seat closer to the bags, harper is in the three-seat, Dick is there as well. 

and then there’s the rest. Steph, Cass, Duke, Jason, Tim, Damian, they’re all screaming in the back and they’re throwing towels around and there’s an “OW! THAT WAS MY HAIR YOU DICKHEAD!” and a “THAT’S MINE!” and so many other things because. the back of the bus, it’s cURSED. And Bruce is just driving with a strained smile because he wants so badly to turn around and throw a waterbottle at each of their heads to get them to shut up (of course, it wouldn’t work because not even god can calm down the back of the bus)

Tim and Jason somehow get into this argument of how tim ‘has no friends’ and Tim shoots back that in fact he DOES, that he’s calling them right this instant. And bruce doesn’t even have a chance to yell at them, because now there’s a speedster and a cloned kryptonian right beside the moving minivan and Bruce is lowkey freaking out because none of them (the ones in the van and the ones out) are wearing their superhero costumes, and then Tim is just with his hands pressed on the window and he’s like practically banging the glass and waving and they can’t hear him but he’s like “HEY! HEY HYE HEY YOU GUYS MADE IT!!!” and then dick is just telling them to cut it out and slow down because you know, identities, and Steph is like HOLY SHIT THEY DID MAKE IT and Damian is just sitting upside down with his legs in the backrest off the seat and Duke is in the same position, making fun of Damian because his feet don’t reach. 

Kon and Bart seem to get the hint because they slow down, but not before bart has literally jumped towards the MOVING VAN and vibrated through (i’m like 99% sure he is able to do that so-) and then he literally landed on Tim (tim actually softened his fall, because Tim’s back literally made a ~crack~ sound by hitting somebody’s knee) and stood up real quick and then started waving and laughing at kon, who was now running normal-speed beside the van. 

And then bruce went FASTER and kon was like WHAT THE HECK OLD MAN and he can’t use his powers so he’s literally running behind the van and bart is laughing his ass off and then tim is like “BRUCE STOP THE VAN!” and then Bart is already calling cassie and telling her what happened and you can hear cassie laughing from over the phone and then Tim is just yelling at bruce in the background. Bruce eventually DOES stop, and Tim opens the door for him and Kon crawls in and Bart’s still laughing, and he’s practically leaning onto Dick and Harper, and they’re squished together and bart’s just laughing on the phone while Kon sits on the really far end of the opposite seat (practically on the door) so he’s the furthest from babs as possible because he’s actually terrified of her. Tim is just sorta awkward because he now realizes that he was a bit TOO excited to see kon, and then the back of the bus/van is staring at them and like what the hell and then Tim goes “who doesn’t have friends, huh?”, and Jason goes ‘pfft’ and he calls roy but he’s spending time with lian; he calls artemis and she goes, “but wasn’t this a family trip? what do you need me for?”, SO jaosn calls bizarro and then he barely answers the phone when bizarro goes “RED HER SAID NO. BYE” so Jason slumps and it’s quiet for a second when steph goes “is that GUM IN MY HAIR”. And then jason laughs and its chaos all over again. (i might make a ‘things that were heard from the back of the road trip bus post bc i have so many ideas oh my god)

and then they are at the beach, the bus barely stops and there’s a few bags thrown out the window, and people yelling at Kon to open the door, and Kon not being able to work under pressure so tim opens it and everyone’s pushing each other and Steph has an uneven strand of hair, because Damian went to ‘extreme measures’ and cut it so now steph’s hair is uneven and they were going to keep cutting it “to make it even” but then Alfred was like “you’re all going to clean the van afterwards so think carefully” and then nobody did anything and there’s literally a ziploc bag with steph’s strand of hair (damian didn’t even cut to where the gum was, he cut even FURTHER but yes, the gum is in the bag). 

As I was saying, they get out of the van, and the bags are out and Bruce has NO IDEA what to do. none. It’s alfred that rents a tent and then Damian’s chasing duke into a random restaurant’s changeroom and showers and then cass is dragging harper that’s dragging steph that’s dragging jason and tim is getting the bags with Kon and bart and bart realizes that he doesn’t  have a swimsuit and then he stops walking and Kon seems to realize too and it’s like OH MAN and they can’t run back (because no powers, rule set by bruce when two super-powered bros came in the bus) and They’ recarrying the bags to this tent (do you guys know what im talking about? i feel like we’re imagining completely different things- it’s this but much more people and there’s a bunch of people selling stuff like sunglasses and doign hair, piercings, tattoos even - for the tattoos thing it’s just promo for an actual shop they don’t tattoo you in the actual beach - ) and It’s literally Kon, tim and bart carrying the bags (which they CAN carry between the three, it’s not like they packed up half the manor) and then a minute later or so Steph is sprinting towards Tim and she’s yelling something Tim can’t understand and then Steph points at her bag (that tim’s carrying) and she screams something like “SAND! HOT!” and then she’s like high-knee-ing/sprinting even faster and Cass is just walking barefoot in the sand, super calm, but she’s got Harper on her back. Damian and Duke are racing towards the shadow (because the sand is cooler there), and next thing you know Jason’s aready in the tent with a coconut. 

And if you haven’t thougth about how the Batfam would be in the beach then let me tell you, you don’t have enough spare time because i know for a FAT FACT that: 

It was Jason that insisted on Bruce buying sand toys (a whole bag, i swear)

Damian tried coconut water, didn’t like it all that much (altho he loves the inside- idk what it’s called but it’s edible i swear)

Bruce put on an excessive amount of sunscreen

Duke has swimming trunks with the robin logo just to piss damian off (also Damian has matching ones but with the batman one)

Steph, Cass and Harper rented a banana boat (here’s a picture) and they dragged Jason and Tim along, just to toss them off in the end 

Jason 1000% got stung by a jellyfish 

Bruce bought like seven friendship bracelets from this guy that made them because they looked deadass cool 

They played beach volleyball and let me tell you Damian can throw a really mean overhand serve (actually, i don’t think you THROW a serve, but like,,, serve one-)

dick got buried in the sand, courtesy of Jason

bart was pissy because he couldn’t go in the water, so he and Kon sprinted with normal speed (they both had water-proof anklets that sucked their powers, so it was REALLY  a no-powers vacation, courtesy of Bruce, again.)

the only ones in stock were neon, and they settled real quick so now theyre sprinting back and cardying a bag of keychains they thought looked rad as hell and now tim caught up to them and all three are practically skipping towards the water

,,,,they forgot to put sunscreen on.... all of them,,, they forgot....

tim made a sand castle

in teams of two (kon/bart, tim/cass, duke/harper, steph/jason, dick/damian) got on each other shoulders and basically spent five minutes trying to see who would be the last team standing, splashing water everywhere and stuff

first team to go down was Dick and damian, because steph pushed damian and by trying to keep himself on Dick's shoulders, damian accidentally poked dick's eye (sort of CLAWED in so you know what i mean).

second team to go down was steph and jason, because damian doesnt play fair and so he swam down and literally just scratched Jason's ankle, knowing damn well that the jellyfish sting was there. Jaosn shrieked and steph lost her balance. so much for vigilantes at night with stealth and talent, huh.

third team to go down was tim and bart because kon insisted on being on bart’s shoulders and that’s easy peasy because i mean, bart’s not WEAK, but he’s not TALL either and it’s not like Kon weighs a feather and they’re on the deeper side,,,,, you can imagine the rest

Now there’s two teams, and they call it a tie because otherwise someone’s gonna end up injured (altho tim likes to say that he and cass won)

There’s music playing in the background, with really vulgar lyrics that alfred disapproves of, but you know. It’s not his beach. 

THIS IS REALLY JUST A SCREAM POST SORRY IT’S NOT WHAT YOU GUYS SIGNED UP FOR BUT TAGLIST ANYWAYS: @red-hood-redemption @screennamealreadyused @bikoncon @catxsnow @thesporklecat @thesesickfics-justmakemesick @hauntingsonofrobin anddd i think i forgot someone sorry 

[insertsona]

helo. !!

HIHIHIHIHI THATS. FROM THAT ONE ASK GAME OKAY . OKAY.

uh. cw this character can get a Little Bit Dark and i dont mean designwise! please tell me if i. need to tag this with anything and i will! (not sure. what id have to tag which is why im. Not and just putting this here instead)

anyway!! anon you better buckle up because im about to introduce you to silhouette (she/her) aka possibly. one of my oldest and also most developed characters (except im going to try and. condense it a little)

silhouette who is . named very appropriately for her design . is actually. the . second oldest that still gets to see the light of day and shes gone through . mmmmmmmaybe like at least 5 seperate iterations? ive had her since april 2018!! which is four years !! so yeah this bitch has been around. a While

silhouette plays the role of the first (main) antagonist (there are several antagonists after her and theres also a few minor ones before that Link Straight Back To Her) in my oc universe and god is she terrifying in concept! theres a lot about her that. makes her feel a lllittle overpowered but shes not invincible i prommy

silhouette is a being built from negative energy and . doesnt need to eat/drink she. instead feeds off of negativity and shit in a radius around her . the more negative energy, the stronger she is, and the wider the radius she can kind of. feed from .

there is a limit to how much she can feed off of before it. stops affecting her so she cant just become invincible or whatever and shes never even really hit that limit anyway

silhouette has. a couple of abilities! most notably mind control (even at her strongest its possible to break from but it does become Very Hard), telekinesis, telepathy, and what is essentially just. silhouette , an empath: i can sense you feel like shit (she can sense the emotions around her)

speaking of the. sensing emotions around her whats interesting about that is silhouette may be able to sense and register how the people around her are feeling but . she doesnt register how She Herself is feeling . like. shes not emotionless per say but she sure as hell doesnt actually register shit about what shes feeling .

also! silhouette, unlike basically everyone else in the universe, runs by what i can only describe as video game logic ! she wouldnt bleed out if you stabbed her and even if you shot her in the face or something the liklihood is she Wouldnt Die, because silhouette runs off of essentially a HP stat instead of. actual normal logic . she can feel pain but it only really affects her at extremes because otherwise its just something she can shrug off . maybe break her femur or cut her arm off that would get a reaction .

generally speaking silhouette is Very Violent and shes hurt (both emotionally and physically) a Lot of people . shes Killed a lot of people . silhouette goes to any extreme to get what she wants and god she will Get It even if it means hurting everyone around her and she Enjoys doing that . she is violent and cruel and controlling and will not hesitate to kill maim bite violence anybody who gets in her way

since silhouette doesnt actually need a mouth , she . Shouldnt have one however this bitch oftentimes just. forces herself to have one . whenever her 'mouth' is open its . shes not supposed to have that she is Actively Tearing Open Her Face to do that .

oh also another fun fact while on the topic of silhouettes face. shes supposed to have . 5 eyes but the other three are . a tiny bit permanently melted shut ! she is literally falling apart

anyway im stopping before this gets too long but please please ask me more about silhouette i have so much to say abt her and her violent evil acts

[actualbird]

I hope you're doing well! As always, seeing a notification in my email that you posted another fic is just *chef's kiss*.

The newest story with Luke and Marius is simply - I could just post a bunch of emojis that would probably convey the meaning better but the fact that I read it three times should be another good indicator of how fucking brilliant anything you write is.

Which sorta brings me to my next point and it's something I wanted to ask you for a little while now. How do you just post things? I know it sounds stupid but I would love to be able to post fics, random posts but I just can't. I can't even write it just for myself. And I know that you can post anonymously and no one will know who you are but I still can't do it. I just get paralysed with fear. Not even talking about posting, just creating in general. I am just terrified of judgment and I have no idea what to do. Do you ever feel like this? How do you overcome yourself? Do you have any advice?

Just a desperate Hibiscus anon, who wants to post so so much but is a "little" afraid ♥️🌺♥️

heyyo hibiscus!!! glad to hear from you again and i hope youre doing well too :DDD

and waAAHHH, thank u for reading "beautiful like a forest fire (admire from a distance, don’t get too close)" 🥺 u read it three times??? i think u read it more than i read it when i was proofreading omg. thank u so so much for the kind words <3!!!

as for ur questions, it's not stupid at all. it's a really really valid and pervasive fear and yeah, i still do struggle with this. hell, i feel it like, every other day

tho how i get over it is.....dkjbfkdjgksd in the manner of how i do almost everything in my life, i take it apart and analyse it. and through this dissection, this is how i can get possible solutions

disclaimer that this is what works for My Brain. it might not work for yours, but maybe you can get something from my process that does work for your brain

so yea. in my brain it all starts with the core fear of judgement, right? well, i dont like how judgement is such a broad word. like, judgement is when people come to conclusions based off of info given and the nature of humans is that they can come to a wrong or even hurtful conclusion about info, which, in this case, is fanwork. but i want specificity. if judgement is about hurtful conclusions, what are those conclusions i dont want ppl to come to?

what exactly am i afraid of getting judged for?

the following is not an exhaustive list, but just off the top of my head some specific fears i get in fandom

whenever i post fanfic, my fear is that i'll get judged for it not being written well, for it not being a good story.

whenever i post headcanons or silly memes or drawings or whatever 24/7 nonstop, my fear is that i'll get judged to be an annoying motherfucker.

whenever i post niche weird strange content that doesnt mesh with what the rest of the fandom is doing, my fear is that i'll get judged for not making the correct and expected type of fanwork, that people will think im doing this wrong

personally, when i dug into all of these deeper and found the specific judgement im afraid of, it gets easier to parse through. first one on that bullet point is about not being good enough. second is about being too much. third is about I'm Not Doing This Right, I'm Going To Get A Bad Grade In Fandom.

so with those specifics, i shoot em down.

fanfic not good enough? fuckin hell, im not writing this shit to win a pulitzer, im here to have fun! and someone out there will think it is a good story, even if i dont

im annoying? abso-fuckin-lutely i am! and people who dont like that can just block my username but a lot of people do enjoy that i never shut up and i enjoy it too.

not the correct fanwork? anxiety-brain, show me the rules for fandom concepts. oh, there are no rules? then nothing is correct or incorrect, UNCLENCH! and no matter how niche the thing is, it'll somehow connect with somebody else because humans are neat like that and nobody is the only person into that thing

the whole specificity thing is a little bit more of a thought exercise thats not just helpful for fears of putting creations out into the world, but for a lot of things. specificity, personally, helps me figure out solutions.

but in general for judgements, i figure it can be summarized with:

one way or another, everybody is going to judge you and/or your work. but for every person who judges you wrongly, there will also be another who judges you with admiration.

fandom is already judged as strange from the outside by people who arent in these kinds of communities. in my mind, im like "well, might as well go with the flow then!" and i own it

create unapologetically cuz life feels a loooot better when a person stops being sorry for something they shouldnt be sorry about

sdkjfkHBJDFS I HOPE THIS MAKES SENSE OMG

and i hope this can help in some way

[constellaj]

How about A for Reality Trip for the episode rewrite thing?

my biggest issue with reality trip is that its just a series of travelling around to non connected locations to get the mcguffins, and while danny’s secret being public matters somewhat, it doesn’t really impact the fact that they’re on the move too much. I also don’t like the ‘maddie and jack accept him perfectly and then he wipes everyones minds anyway’ cause that doesnt do anything. i DO like the “our summer vacation plans got ruined thanks to a ghost” angle so i want the themes of the episode to focus on danny’s frustration that nothing ever goes right and how he doesn’t even know what he wants

so i think in my rewrite:

-danny’s secret is out almost immediately, and it’s because the GIW shot him w a destabilizer and he publicly morphed (he got away thanks to shenanigans similar to the onstage debacle in canon) how this is thematic: he thought he didn’t want the secret out at all but, weirdly, a lot of the popular kids are fine with it. he’s still afraid of what his parents will think but he’s also frustrated that he had unfounded fears

-however, when danny (terrified) goes to his parents: theyre gone. freakshow has taken jack/maddie/jazz/etc and frozen them in some magic bubble bullshit or mind control or whatever so they don’t actually know. freakshow is sending danny on a fetch quest for the gems thematic relevance: he just hyped himself up for this conversation and they got yanked away

using these two, i think we can keep a similar opening/setup for the ep, ie freakshow in GIW containment until he breaks out, for setup-payoff

regrettably this still keeps the fetchquest aspect that i think makes reality trip broken in the first place, but since the first freakshow ep was about danny being evil I think it could be neat if we had some of that carried over into this. the ‘reality stones’ (since we live in a post mcu world now, we regrettably would have to change some of this, but i digress) respond highly to ecto activity or whatever, basically meaning that with every new one they get danny becomes a little more powerful. since everything is going wrong for him (see: the theme) and he doesn’t know what he wants, he starts to get a liiitttle power-hungry. A little messed up in the head.

ideally then there should be a way to work Vlad into this plot too. i’m a sucker for dadvlad tbh so let’s say that... when the Fentons first get kidnapped danny begrudgingly goes to vlad like “my mom and dad are kidnapped” and vlad may be a dick but he doesnt want his college crushes (or crush singular if i’m forced to be canon compliant) locked up so he’s helping. at first hes like “oh my boy daniel let Me hold the Magic Rocks surely you trust me haha >:)” and then later hes like “....son these rocks are turning your brain into goo.” course nobody believes him cause its all a ploy all the time forever and always

since danny’s secret is out too that means theyre actively on the run and vlad can’t always be There because he’s relatively high profile in either form, just for different reasons, so we can make him more of a “i did research offscreen and i think this gem is in x location but I can’t go there because i’m a bitch” type character

i DO like the intelligent aladdin-like ploy of ghost envy in the original but ‘ghost envy’ as a theme has to be reworked at least slightly for this, so also with danny being evil let’s say he’s feeling the scales tip especially after his reveal to the point where he’s feeling like he’d be better off if he was living his life entirely as a ghost. 

of course when they get the things to freakshow danny has the gauntlet and hes all like “im evil now and i will kill you” and sam/tucker/maybe vlad are like “but danny. you have friends.” and we get a montage/list of allusions of those times that they actually helped him on this fetch quest, like idk sam at a rock concert using loud horrible teenage music to chase the GIW out etc. they got souvenirs from everywhere they went. so danny sees this and hes like “oh noooo my humanity” and drops and in that split second freakshow grabs the gauntlet

and dannys like “oh great even NOW nothing EVER goes right for me” but because i put vlad here and because i like parallels vlad is like “so what are you gonna wimp out” or whatever he says. they probably had a somewhat heartfelt speech earlier about “why are you helping” “I care about jack and maddie being alive” “bro they hate you” “not everything has to go right for me to give a shit, daniel” or w/e

so before danny can overreact with his rage he remembers to work with what he has and pulls the fast-thinking “oh i bet you wish you were a ghost huh” trick that allows him to put freakshow in the thermos. then danny goes to get the glove and hes like “wait... no... that turns my brain into goo” and vlad is like “how about i get it :)” and danny is like “no youre evil” and vlads like “damn u caught me”

so sam and tucker actually use the gauntlet bc theyre not ghosts so their brain wont get fucky wucky. obvs they make the decision to wipe peoples memories of dannys identity but theyre also like “danny... don’t you at least want to see how your parents would react before we do this” and danny just sorta. shakes his head and repeats some “not everything has to go right for me to give a shit” line from vlad or something and of course its cause hes still insecure but also he’s okay with not having PERFECT control over everything now which is what he struggled with all episode so. character growth!

i feel like me saying “vlad should be here :)” is a staple that might lead to his character losing some of that original allure but like... honestly. vlad should be here :)

before the memory wipe dash makes out with him but that was a given

[dumblemonchickenwing]

i wanted to draw lesser dad comic continuation on my au about corrupt rouxls but I gave up. the rough script draft is under read more

Lancer magical stool forme

Rouxls facesplat on the floor

A headcanon that Lesser Fathere would rather break his own face than take advantage of his Biggere Son in any way whatsoever

Rouxls as Lady Gaga

(sorry, those above were rough ideas not related.)

=

This world is cruel and nothing makes sense

That “forever” is nothing but fleeting set of lies. Its just a lie you feed those you fail to stand for. You said you loved him and will forever love him, but look at you now. In fact, you heard them say that the world is cruel and you worried that nothing would make sense. You worried nothing you would say or do holds any meaning. 

Nobody knows the truth.

Mayhaps, the truth really is that way.

Perhaps, you really did have your eyes opened. And you know that this world is cruel, and nothing has any meaning.

Then.. if nothing has any meaning..

then why not do what you wanted to do?

if these words hold no meaning, then

why not say them, if saying

 or not saying them

 would make no difference?

You feel that nothing holds any meaning. You have none but evil inside you.

And still those words you wanted to say to Him, still havent gone.

Keeping them inside, doesnt let them go away

You worried so much that you do not deserve to say them

that it would be hypocritic

But days passs by

and that wish wont go away.

Like a bug that keeps crawling around within your ribcage.

He is right there.

Things will never be the same as they used to be.

And you grieve how everything was ruined.

“I could have been a Father.” But even so, right now

You want to come forth.

And he doesnt seem to mind.

In fact, he loves you.

Why do you hesitate?

You worry you will change your mind? You will betray him? You worry about your ever-changing nature?

You worry you will corrupt him as well

But look at him now. He is happy and okay right now. He has friends

that will protect him.

And look at you, Right now. You want to say it. You want to do it. Right now.

“What are you staring at him like that for? Dont you wanna like? i dunno, say hi?” (Susie)

“I am... afraid.

-Young Prince.. is too kind. I am afraid, he loves me, even though I am not the one he should accepteth in his life. He is too sweet, it would lead to his heartache. 

“Afraid? Of hurting him? Listen here, man.. don’t think you’re the only one who feels this way. Even tho Im buddies with him and I constantly drag with around with me, even though we’re having lots of fun and geniunely believe in each other. There’s still that huge part of me that is scared that one day it will all be over. I am terrified of losing him. I still remember how I hurt him. I still remember how I used to be. And I never forget that I’m not really super good. But you know what? I look at this dude and think - woah, he sure is a cool fun guy, itd suck if i’d lose a single day I could spend with him to me sitting alone and thinking about how much hed hate me. And then I get up, and force myself to come up to him. Because i remember, how much it sucked being alone and stuck with myself, every day. And i remember, how much it sucked for him to be alone, and.. who knows, maybe If i’d leave him because i of my inner thoughts, I’d leave him all alone and hurt his feelings.

And, I’m like, not a psychic or a god to decide whats best for him. Idunno, if, like, I wanted him to be my friend but he ‘d chose to leave me for whatever the hell reason he made up, if he would be doing THAT to me, I’d be damn hurt.”

Usually, adults say this bullcrap to excuse them not wanting to deal with their kids, But you.. you actually DO care? What’s your problem, dude? no one freaking stops you. Especially, not HIM.

You feel really helpless and confused, and you worry you will not be able to handle this world’s trials. But maybe this is why you need to return to him? maybe.. you dont have to ALWAYS worry about him? Maybe he feels helpless and confused too, and this is why he needs you, because you understand how he feels.. and thats all that is needed?

Besides.. it’s not just you against the world. We are here too.

He has his mother now, his dad. Susie, Kris. He has friends now. You don’t have to be the exact same you as you were back then. everything is different, but maybe its for the best. 

You dont have to worry anymore.

“Oh hia, Lesser dad!! You hang out with Susie and Ralsei? Cool! Huh? Whats wrong?”

“Oh, your lesser dad just..has some things he needs to figure out.”

Wdym?

“A, he just..has a certain little beetle he wants to visit but he cant decide”

A beetle? Oh I know! You collect beetles I get whatchu talkin about! Lesser dad, you want some advice??

When i was little, my dad used to keep a cool plane model in our mansion. I always wanted to play with it, but I was very scared because I didnt know if i was allowed to touch it. So we kept it behind the glass. i would stand there and stare at it until my dad decided to throw it away. I never truly was sure if i could touch it or not but I felt really sad that I never got the chance to play with it, when it was right in front of me. I was afraid id break it, but in the end, my dad broke it anyway.

[peralta-guaranteed]

Oh god loved so so much the best friend siblign AU and I wonder if, when u got time and u feel like it, would you write how the story goes, i imagine all the family quite happy bc the really get close to Jake they like him and love how happy makes Amy and the fact now he is one more of the family but a super mad and angry Jorge who doesnt like them so they fight for their love IM SORRY I JUST GOT SO EXCITED IT WAS AMAZING

aw don't apologise for being excited!!! That's always the best reaction to a fic or hc!! - in true Peraltiago fashion Jake + Amy decide to keep their... thing a secret for a while until they really figure it out, because they sure as heck did NOT go on three dates before that smooch fest at the diner, and tbh only the knowledge that Charles+Gina+Rosa are still snoring at the apartment back there keeps them from racing back and uh, making it official 😏 - (Jake thinks about his empty dorm room for a hot second but then realises that Charles might come back in the morning and there is NO WAY he's making Amy go through that) - they never manage to go on an actual date though because Amy is always busy with school (double major yooo), so mostly Jake just hangs out at Amy+Rosa's place... the same way he did before... except for when Rosa leaves and he can finally cuddle his non-girlfriend-girlfriend (titles have not yet been chosen) - they only go officially bf / gf when Amy gets hit on at a party (by Teddy) and immediately realises she actually has a NO THANK YOU response ready now as Jake rounds the corner with their drinks! "Sorry, I'm here with my boyfriend actually" she says and gives him a quick kiss and he's dumbstruck for a second but then immediately joins in - their friends find out before the family does, though, simply because they are shit at hiding so the trio ends up stumbling in on various moments. Charles sees them holding hands somewhere on campus and thank god he got the mildest reveal because even that almost makes him faint. Gina does not believe for one second that the hickeys on Jake's neck are 'bruises' from some sort of 'ultimate frisbee' mistake and basically pins him down until he tells her the truth. Rosa, rather unceremoniously, simply runs into Jake in her hallway. At 3am. Both in their underwear. Good thing they lived together before and were actually kind of used to that. - when Jorge finds out, he's not really angry,mostly just... confused. Like, what? Jake? And his sis? Aren't they.. friends? When did this happen? Also kind of not cool, dude, you shoulda asked your friend, her brother, before you- "Oh so now you get to have a say in what I do and don't with my life? Like we're back in the 50s?" No Amy that's obviously not what I mean I just-.... fine okay you can do whatever you want - Matteo is absolutely overjoyed when Amy tells him. Like YES, you go girl, get you some nice college slice of beef cake, if you hadn't I probably woulda tried my turn next Thanksgiving (this is all shouted into speaker phone when she calls him just to make Jake feel extra awkward... the not-twins are little troublemakers if they want to) - and, well, once Matteo knows, the whole family knows. The brothers are mostly happy about it (except for David but who gives a fuck about that), because yeah Jake is a great guy and they already involuntary tested him for all Santiago-related situations, but they're definitely going to test him a bit more the next time he visits (he's been re-invited to Thanksgiving before all of this anyway, and Camila was considering Nochebuena too because he told them how his family didn't ever really do Christmas so he'd probably stay at college during winter break... which is an absolute no-go in the eyes of the family matriarch) - to be honest, it's mostly Camila (and Victor) who have a bit of a problem with it. Yes, Jake was a wonderful guest, as chaotic as he was, and yes, he's become somewhat part of their family already, but that was as Jorge's friend. Being their only daughter's boyfriend, of which so far she has had only two before him, is a whole different ballgame. And what got overlooked as 'quirks' of his is now harshly judged as 'possible problems'. - so when Thanksgiving 2 : family harder with a vengeance comes around, Jake is absolutely terrified of making a bad impression. Even if he's already made an impression on all of them, several times, over the past two years. But still. He tries to be on his best behaviour (and is immediately teased and taunted for it by

the Santiabros) and at the same time tries to keep a friendly distance from Amy to be inappropriate (and is immediately rebuked by his girlfriend basically hanging off of him like a koala the entire time). - Victor takes him aside for the Shovel Talk after dinner, when the rest of the family is gathering on the porch like usual. Jake expects about 7 more Shovel Talks to come the next two days they're there, but this one is obviously the worst, because Camila joins in. He's pretty much this close to signing some sort of contract promising he will never even bend one hair on their daughter's head when Amy barges in and saves him by dragging him off to the porch swing. - And then Jake gets his Thanksgiving dream of Amy cuddling into him under the blankets while having a beer with the Santiabros, and the way he holds onto her to make sure she doesn't fall off the swing, and the way she falls asleep so quickly and so deeply in a way she never has when anyone else of the family shared the swing with her, makes the Santiabros realise that their Shovel Talks are absolutely not needed.

[arcticrxt]

Some dream smp mbtis and enneagrams bc I love it!!!

@dreamsclock here it is!!

Characters:

Wilbur

Ghostbur

Tommy

Dream

Tubbo

Quackity

Karl

Under the cut bc they’re kinda long. Keep in mind this is the characters and not the content creators :]

WILBUR

Personally for me I’d type c!wilbur as ENFJ which is interesting for a villainous character. When he spirals into madness, you can see his dominant function (Fe) become more unhealthy, leading to him being very manipulative. He shows Ti-grip when his Fe is left to burn out, becoming critical of others and their methods, preferring he do it instead (seen with tommy during their exile). Ni auxiliary is shown in his ambition and drive for his goal of L’manburg.

For his enneagram, i know wilbur said he based c!wilbur off of the song eight by sleeping at last, but hear me out,,, I was thinking maybe a 3w4. The 8 characteristics could be seen in a tritype of 368. Type three is named the achiever which in itself stands for his vision and ambition of L’manburg. 3w4s are often working towards personal growth and professional success. When unhealthy, 3s can get extremely competitive and prone to one-upping others. May reject their sense of self and develop intense mood swings. At worst they can backstab ruthlessly (tommy and the whole of L’manburg and pogtopia) and destroy others reputations solely for their benefit (“if i can’t have this no one can”). The tritype Im a bit if-y on but I’ll say 368 because it focuses on working hard, achieving personal best and developing a winning image. They will want to protect others from those they perceive as a target (dream, Schlatt), they will warn and caution others and seek “worthy” authorities they can respect.

GHOSTBUR His Si is incredibly high so imma say ISFJ. His main motive (id say) is wanting to collect stories of his past and the history of the nation he built, his “unfinished symphony”. Fe auxiliary is very strong as well as he shows a lot of compassion to others, offering them some blue in times of need and also not wanting anyone to feel sadness like he feels it. Ghostbur ignores his own feelings in order for others to feel safe. His Ti is shown through his need for gathering knowledge to understand alivebur and i could also see it through his internalised logic that the blue will help people. Not sure on inferior Ne, maybe through not wanting to see other possibilities in regards to his resurrection, however he was under a lot of stress since his home just got blown up, and friend died, so I can’t blame him.

He clearly doesn’t want conflict so I’ll say type 9. Needs peace and harmony (he gives out blue to help people). Soothing voice, and collected (except when Phil blew up L’manburg but that’s reasonable). He’s complacent, and humble, and will go the extra mile so long as to not rock the boat. Appreciative of the small things in life and enjoy simple pleasures.

TOMMY For Tommy I think ESFP which is probably one of the ones I’m up for more opinions on bc I’m not completely sure of his type. Se as dominant as he thrives on living in the moment but in an unhealthy way (unnecessary conflicts) He’s got a strong Fi auxiliary and you can see that through his personal morals and the way he usually makes decisions based off of emotions rather than objective facts and logical reasoning. He’s good at planning, but not at thinking out the longevity of it. Eg when heady exile and found technos house and lived under there, thinking techno would find him, this all shows Se-Te loop. He gradually develops an unhealthy Fi which leads to him disregarding external relationships (his friendship with tubbo) and commitments to maintain his internal love of the discs.

Enneagram wise, I’m definitely leaning towards 7w6. 7s are usually jumping from one thing to another and are constantly getting bored. The wing 6 brings loyalty and protectiveness. When unhealthy, sevens become narcissistic in their actions and presentation (see his confrontation with tubbo after tubbo thought he was dead, and the “the discs are worth more than you ever were” granted he quickly realises what he said but the mentality was still there).

DREAM I think he’s a fairly obvious stereotype unhealthy ENTJ. He has a very low Fi. When we see him driven by emotion (usually anger) it’s terrifying and we have no context about it at all except that it’s for a need of control. He knows how to manipulate people through his charisma and power in an ENTJ fashion. He lost attachment to his things very quickly (using Te and Ni to go forward logically while also showcasing his inferior Fi)

Dream is a very painfully obvious 8, probably an 8w7, but he is defined an 8. The eight has fiery passions and is usually stubborn and headstrong, they are serious about control over their environment. They are goal-oriented and self-competent. Eights are direct and aren’t shy when taking the lead and making tough decisions. They are often seen in leadership positions. The eight type is part of the “body based” triad and they often act impulsively. They crave respect and enjoy being likes by the group. When unhealthy, eights can become tyrannical and intimidating, scaring off others at first glance. They become addicted to the pursuit of power and will destroy anything blocking their path. Feelings and emotions become insignificant (spirit :’)) challengers become stone-cold and take an antagonist stand to anyone who questions them or their motives. This is the one I’m most most sure of out of every typing I’ve done bc it seems painfully obvious.

TUBBO I’d say probably an Fe dom so maybe ENFJ/ESFP but I’m leaning more to the ENFJ side. Tubbo realised after he thought tommy had died that, without tommy he was himself. Something Fe doms struggle with the most is self worth and personal identity. They’re caught up in wanting to help others that they don’t tend to their own needs. He’s careless and self sacrificing when it comes to the needs of others (him giving up his life so that tommy could have the discs and be happy) and bc he has such low self esteem he doesn’t realise that that’s not what tommy wants. The reason I’m more leaning to ENFJ is because of his inferior Ti. Though he didn’t want to due to dominant Fe, he was lead to believe exiling tommy was the best possible solution. You can see he regrets it after tommy and dream had left. When he was working under schlatt we saw his remorse and guilt even though he knew it had to be done. We see his dominant Fe during his time as president when others push him to do things and he usually agrees. He was manipulated through guilt by dream which is very unhealthy ENFJ.

(I wrote this before the ghostbur one so sorry for any repetitive language) For enneagram, type nine: the peacemaker. Type 9s are motivated by their need for peace and harmony (tubbo was manipulated into believing that getting rid of tommy would achieve this). They have a calm demeanour and are agreeable. They’re hardworking, friendly, and modest but also more serious and diligent than expected. (I’m not too sure on his enneagram which is why this is so short)

QUACKITY Estj imo. Like dream, he’s unhealthily obsessed with power, (unhealthy dominant Te). He abandoned L’manburg because schlatt wouldn’t let him have any say, and he was shoved to the side, despite it being a coalition government. He is very logical and controls others. He makes sure he comes out as the hero and that his hands are clean, learning it from past experiences (Si). He quickly finds ways to get out of situations through the use of tertiary Ne. Doesnt show a lot of Fi and he usually underestimates his opponents abilities and/or strength due to his overconfidence. He’s willing to kill anyone who goes against what he thinks and is stubborn and argumentative. He doesn’t like it when people are lazy and don’t contribute.

Also, similarly to dream, I’d type his enneagram as 8w7. The same with his obsession of power, and his strong/weak mindset where he thinks the world is made up of protectors and those who need to be protected (see him taking it upon himself to execute technoblade for the better of L’manburg) which is all very textbook 8. The opinions of others don’t have much effect on him. Eights are concerned with justice, combating oppression, and protecting the weak. He takes the lead in making tough decisions (he’s the butcher army leader). He becomes more antagonist and villainous with his actions against technoblade, believing he’s in the right. (I didn’t want to just copy out what I said for dream so this is a shortened version)

KARL Torn between ENFP and ESFP but leaning toward ENFP. He’s time travelling because he believes it’s the right the to do which is more so Fi, but could be Fe wanting to help others at his personal cost. But also the Fi-Te pair keeps him going and he won’t stop until it’s fulfilled (which is pretty Te imo). He is creative and good with imagination and ideas (Ne) (at the masquerade, although it was a comical excuse, he came up with minecraft streamer quickly, he was also able to answer billiams questions pretty quickly).

Even though it’s now canon he doesn’t choose when and where he travels to, which would have been a stronger argument for a type seven, he’s still enthusiastic at the times he travels to. He’s optimistic (with the mentality everything will go right for him because he believes it has to, even though he’s loosing a lot of memories atm). He’s got childlike energy and curious eyes. He wants to bounce from one place to another, he created two towns already, although one technically no one knows about gogtopia except for the founders and tommy who travelled through it. He’s well like and popular, which is often a 7 trait. The type 7 is part of the “heart-based” triad, and we can see him act through this with the way he seeks excitement as a means to distract himself from the darker, and more painful things in life. He ignores his fears in favour of positive experiences. For a wing, probably a 7w6 in favour of 7w8, the same as tommy. He’s loyal and a strong leader over being tough and more career-driven. If he was to turn unhealthy in the future, we might see him loose his groundedness, and start to live in a perpetual fantasy instead of reality.

Sorry for any typos or bad grammar :]

[coweggomelet]

i apparently enjoy putting down my thoughts on the off chance someone will read it and enjoy it so here’s rwby rewatch vol 3. i’m ready to be sad!!

(note: it’s long i’m sorry, i have many thoughts and i tried to narrow it down but oh boy do i think im funny)

- the SOUND DESIGN. AGAIN

- ruby you’re so precious. so sweet. so eager. so earnest. c’mere and i’ll protect you from all the bad shit that happens to you later

- hi cardboard cutout tai

- i keep getting an ad for a rooster teeth show called camp betrayal and the way this man says “hoo hoo hoo” will haunt me for the rest of time

- oh shit the fact that it’s called amity has such insane implications for what it’s used for later. jesus.

- “bffs!” “No.” “…/yessss/” love them

- yeet the yang

- god ruby’s admiration of emerald is so sad in retrospect like… oh boy ruby you’re in for it

- PYRRHAAAAA I LOVE YOU DONT LEAVE ME

- “even if you know how a story ends, that doesn’t make it any less fun to watch” wow cinder are you psychic

- ummmm they’re having a talk can you please respect their privacy

- thor whomst??? i only know nora valkyrie

- BROODY MAN

- hiiiii gavin

- so much mid battle banter. in the middle of a big important fight they just have to make jokes and argue. i love teenagers

- SILENCE YOU BOOB

- awww winter you’re a disaster and you’re horribly emotionally repressed because of your bitch ass dad but jesus christ you care about your little sister and you wanna know she’s doing okay and i’m emotional about it

- PENNYYYYY my love just keep being you

- jeez i forgot how early on ironwood was talking his shit about being “someone who will act”, the “only person” who will do what needs to be done, as if his course of action is what needs to be done

- every single person who underestimates emerald and mercury gets so fucked up. like so many people look at these youngerish teenagers with some funny one liners and banter and go “oh they seem capable and they’re confident and funny so i like em but i can take em” and then absolutely get the shit kicked out of them. and i think that’s why they’ve been so successful, cause nobody takes them seriously enough to consider them a threat.

- see this is why i love rwby. coco just turned her handbag into a gatling gun and cut down a field of grass with it

- god the way they hint at emerald’s semblance before fully showing what it is. *chef’s kiss*

- winter marry me

- we love an uncle who absolutely destroys his nieces at video games

- “they do and they’re called silver!” ruby i love you

- top heavy. heheh

- this dude’s weapon is a trumpet!! she’s got glowing nunchucks!! i love this show!!

- this battle music is AMAZING what the FUCK they’re fighting to JAZZ

- cinder if you keep having vague ominous dialogue people are gonna get the wrong idea

- oh yeah great idea asking a child to take on immense power which sends her into a stressed out panicky spiral and alienates her from the people she finally feels legitimately connected to and for once didn’t feel alienated from

- oh fuck. oh fuck the finals. oh god. oh no.

- she’s so happy. she’s so ready to have a good fight. i’m gonna cry

- FUCK

- and with one moment, the entire show flipped on its head

- god when i watched that the first time i fuckin freaked. i was not prepared man. i was warned. but i was not prepared for this much of a fucking tone change man. that quickly. like tone changes (in my experience) normally happen gradually, but this one happened in, what? 30 seconds?

- fuck

- god this is so bad

- and it GETS WORSE i can’t do this

- love that we can see yang’s distraught eyebrows through her bangs

- after this episode was the first time my friend asked me “how we doing buddy?” and i’ve only wanted to kill her more since then

- oh god emerald’s backstory. this poor child. she was so alone and cinder was there and said i can give you a place i can give you a purpose i can give you security and emerald latched on so hard.

- hiiiii laura bailey i wish you had more than a lil baby line and some sounds of effort

- god that little anklet

- god what a fuckin backstory episode man. backstory? evil plan explanation? idk but it was good

- great parent move. telling your kid you’ll only save them once.

- jaune you sweet good boy. what a good boy. i love him

- god this poor child. she doesn’t deserve this. FUCK i’m so sad. is that the last conversation they have?

- oooooh shit this song is so good. what the fuck i have chills it’s so fitting

- god everyone else is so happy and excited and then there’s ruby who is one of the very few people who knows how bad a fight between penny and pyrrha could be and pyrrha who’s got to decide if she wants someone else’s aura smushed with hers, which could turn her into a different person. FUCK

- peeeennyyyyy “salutations!! it’s an honor to meet you!” it huuuurts

- it makes me so sad but damn was this a good diabolical plan

- god im so sad. penny is so good. and pyrrha’s fuckin eyes. and ruby just collapsing. jesus christ. it’s all fuckin falling apart

- oh fuck here we go. those klaxons are so terrifying

- it makes me so happy that torchwick gets rescued and then like maybe a couple episodes later just gets swallowed

- the fuckin adam fight is coming up too. jesus. really piling on here

- RUBY IS USING ONE OF PENNY’S SWORDS IM GONNA CRYYY

- and she doesn’t even hesitate to save pyrrha

- the one and only time (to my memory) that ironwood is gentle is when he says no one would blame the students if they left. that might be the last time he actually remembers that they’re all teenagers and feels sympathy for these children with all this pressure on them

- oh yeah the big boy

- the first time i watched this i was LOSING MY MIND this whole time. like yang attacked mercury and from then on man. just freaking out.

- eurgh grimm juice

- c’mon blake you got this. i mean. technically you don’t. the fight goes poorly. but you fuckin try and you’re so brave about it and i love youuu

- shut the FUCK up adam you GROOMED her you ASSHOLE

- aahhhh i love velvet!!! her semblance and her whole fighting style is so goddamn cool and has such interesting implications for using weapons and powers of people who are dead

- OH SHIT SHE DOES SUMMON HERE DOESNT SHE. partly but still

- get fucked, torchwick. GET FUCKED. get fuckin chomped

- a backhanded slap feels so much more violent than any fighting with weapons

- uh oh evil katniss

- god. the fucking blood splatter turning the whole shot red. just their silhouettes. the slow motion. the arm slowly separating.

- my friend was also a big fan of “how we feeling?”

- bad. the answer is bad you fuckin sadist

- oz is… a lot of things, and one of them is a goddamn good fighter

- oh god oh noooo she’s gonna kiss & yeet AWWWW FUCK this is heartbreaking

- pyrrha i love you

- if i don’t look it’s not real

- oh pyrrha my love

- awww hey tai. what a good dad. love tai

- i’m so sad. everyone’s so sad. and then salem just has to do an ominous lil monologue where she lays out her whole plan to divide them and makes a fuckin semblance pun. she’s such a good villain

- jacque you stiff bitch

- they’re all fuckin scattered and depressed

- love team rnjr tho

- there she is. god what an ending

[misterbitches]

i had the misfortune of finally watching/getting through what happened in whatever episode where he gets raped so im gonna talk about it and tag it cos that's what a bitch fuckin feels like, got it? i do what i want aint no limit bad ass bitch aint never been timid. woopsie realized i got the nicknames confused oh well lmao

it's just logistically and plot wise like there's literal plot holes in this and i'm taking the production and set-up into account along with the actual content and development. im an ARTIST OKAY im jk i mean i am and i am pretentious and terrible but look. i didnt get that degree and im not in a house worth of debt for nothing ok. it's called writing on tumblr about my grievances of shows that dont matter and do not respect me as a fat black american woman either so it is my fault yet here i am.

anyway it was worse than i imagined and their talk after (with chengren) was even worse. that's what i mean about making the lines their own (the actors) bc teng teng sounded like a straight up motherfucking moron and im like

bECAUSE IT'S HIM EVEN THO IM LIKE WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST SAY U STUPID BITCH? but then it's like awwww and they also care about his wellbeing obviously??? but no? but it's like ok still teng teng said it even if it's stupid because he is a character and charles puts that forth. the people that fail the most to do that are xing si's family but that's not the actors fault because it's the literal material. you're like wait what but you just said...?

so i know they have no script editors i guess i think i find this season ACTUALLY fascinating because of just how egregious it is. i also went back and watched history: obsessed which i thought i liked because of their chemistry even though god the production....but i tried rewatching it and i was like wow this is worse than i remembered and the production issues were even worse because some of the music was SO LOUD AND BAD HOLY FUCK and their whole rship isssssss a sight to behold lmao

so man i guess it really is the power of anson/charles. which is good cos we love to see it...sort of but also a lot.

i honestly....because i've been able to pay attn more to the aftermath of the rape going back and putting it into more context and focusing (just barely lmao) is hm even worse. the inconsistencies are insane. it's not even just about the act but the writers have zero idea where they are going because they have no interest in exploring it. but the way in which it happens is like fascinating. yong jie literally thinks he owns xing si and it doesn't matter if he was kissing him or not or asked for a kiss on the lips (which dude what the fuck? i'll get to that) because he was plied with "extremely strong drinks" and his mom knew about it....which girl congrats you're an accomplice to the rape of your son by your other son?

but first of all...the kissing thing. in what fucking world would he (xing si) want that unless he thought he (yong jie) was someone else. i can't say their attraction is evident because we are being lead by this team to think so; they create this false sense of sensuality already so to me that signifies that they never intended for them to have a bond as brothers. it just feels cheap and fucking lazy (which it is.) even if he did, which doesn't make sense considering the context THEY CONSTRUCTED, it wouldn't matter because he was so fucking drunk which.... at that point nothing is fun, you feel sick, who wants sex like that? does he not have whiskey dick? did they have a condom? was it not painful for him considering? even if this was something to easily get over like was the dick good? it couldn't have been. and then, on top of that, there's the fact that you can change your mind or whatever but also that people do get aroused in these situations bc it is human nature (that's if they can literally get aroused which if the drinks were allegedly sooooo strong that nigga would be out so....again like even practically here it doesnt add up. have these people ever been drunk? if not, write what you know girl. cos sometimes it's like i think some of u r trying to be cool when u dont have 2 b lmao)

so yong jie coming on to him previously may be seen as like push-and-pull but here's the thing. right after it happens (the rape and it's rape so call it that you'll be okay) xing si gets up and goes home and is terrified and upset. he acts like what we have seen or even felt after a violation. he's scared, clutching his bag, it's like...you know...decently coming off as truly distressing (the actor isn't bad at all and i like that he's dark. i just massively hate this for him but hey at least he can show some chops.) like honestly man that fucking sucks and hurts to see. if we've been there we feel it. or part of it is realizing belatedly what happened. a lot of times that drop in your stomach is the worst.

but somehow for some reason, to which i cannot understand, the three of them begin to talk as if xing si pressured him? which maybe i missed something and that is possible—dont feel like going back to look—but that also made no sense. like what kind of false memory is this? why would he think he wasn't willing? and if he thought yong jie wasn't and that he pressured him how does he remember like...anything about the sex?!?!??!? besides waking up and being with him. like i guess he felt yong jie's MASSIVE DONG imprint but ??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!? MAKE IT MAKE SENSE!!!!!

god then the logic of the top/bottom thing is like i said i wasnt going to get into it but it's actually really funny. this whole thing was hilarious. honestly because I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT MEANS. he could have totally raped him in that way but how did you get to this CONCLUSION FROM THAT??????? BY YOUR LOGIC THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS? IF HE IS THE BOTTOM AND PENETRATION IS THE ONLY FORM OF TRUE CONSUMMATION AND RAPE BECAUSE APPARENTLY, BASED ON ANATOMY, IF YOU HAVE A DICK IN UR BUTT UR A GIRL THEN HOW. DOES. THIS. MAKE. SENSE. AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

AND THEN

this whole stupid conversation happens so we get to the conclusion that xing si violated him ok cool but that means that something is wrong. that is the CONCLUSION WE CAME TO A SECOND AGO?

also the other rapist is a villain and muren isn't in love with him so, once again, you're breaking the rules of your own world about acceptability which is why most of this is absolutely mind bogggglinG that iit's fuckign comical. like i actually when i can stomach it start laughing or my jaw is slack because it's so insulting as a viewer because there is like 0 logical followthrough.

because whatshisface barges in, kisses him in front of his friends without permission, then says whether you were willing or not which is hm. at that point how u gonna change that around but let's not bother with logic here. i am simply here to point out how this makes no sense according to the rules they set up even outside of the basic rule of life which is hm dont rape people maybe.

so now we know xing si was raped, they believe he was raped, he himself believes he was raped, and whatshisface literally says he doesn't care even if he was willing (he wasn't) so he admits to rape. i don't believe in the police and i hate them (BL industry needs the cops but dont get me down that road) but no one...thought to go?

because according to history 4 logic nothing matters so im sure if he went to the police you could handwave the homophobia since there's no actual context for anything besides their whimsy. but they dont want to do that because they aren't interested in an arc of growth; redemption isn't possible unless he is removed from the family but again no work on thinking this through or thinking about the victim's feelings. because gay sex? who fucking knows. supposedly progressive taiwanese writers of gay shit (like how supposedly progressive the world is. as in it is not and this behavior is the norm and bl perpetuates that) can't think of transformative justice?

and then they gave bad advice so we wont acknowledge that because teng teng doing anything wrong/stupid is frequent but hurts me and also that storyline is not real so i pretend they are not there outside of this post

so all of this is just straihgt up clownery now because it's fucking absurd like logically, practically, human-wise. the kissing thing is inconsequential but it was such a lazy cheap way out lmao cos they really wanted it to seem consensual but that's not how it works. on top of that their attraction makes no sense because whatshisface is just there. he is just there. he's nothing and no one so the sentiments are even more empty and on top of that he doesnt listen to a single request fucking obviously because the basis of their relationship is fucking rape so fucking listening and respecting his partner is not on his list of fucking priorities. he's literally so fucking annoying even without being a rapist it's like someone please beat his ass.

and then after all of that you want us to feel bad? with your horrible writing, poorly misplaced music, stupid costumes (those fucking SHOES THEY ARE HIDEOUS, AND MOST OF THIER CLOTHES DO NOT FIT IT'S LIKE WHY), questionable fucking editing. we're supposed to wnat them together? this sounds literally fucking crazy but bear with me lmao even with the rape they could at least have SOMETHING i mean like i cant believe im fucking saaying this. but like in addicted heroin which is fuckin tragic and awful at least there's a MODICUM of interest but honestly that show s a fucknig drag. idk they lookd good together? here we have 0. nothing. and it doesnt motivate. watching obsessed again i can see why i liked it in the beginning bc they have good chemistry but the acting and production adn like everything about it plus the rape-y vibes it's just too much. you need to pick one thing so if you're going to be a shit writer at least supplement it with something. this thing is nothing.

and even more nonsensical and what boggles my mind frankly out of all this is the mother's involvement and the father's final response. there are NO consequences? theyre all happy?

ok so lets go through this:

1. 2 boys grow up 2gether, one of the boys is fucking psycho, the mother knows but does nothing??????????????

2. one of the sons moves out so his father doesn't get a hint that's he's fucking gay. ok fine. he has 2 best friends, a job, an apt. he is fine.

3. aforementioned brother is obsessed with him for SOME REASON besides being crazy?

3.5 no one has done anything during him growing up to help him not be crazy?

4. mom says to husband who is their father also just in case we forget "im afraid he will lose his humanity"

4.5 again, do nothing. 0. just like oh man hes crazy. guess that's just our son ;)

4. who cares. plies him with alcohol purposefully to rape him. not even dubious (even though dubious is fucked and not okay or is just not. fucking real. these shows are contextless when they want to be or even movies or whatever so it's like largely not up to the task to understand complexity in human rships and then oversimplifies it constantly because that's what we do IRL. but people have fucking feelings you know and we realize when things don't feel good or right to us either very quickly after or having to process it. and once you're eyes are opened you may feel as something was fucking ripped away from you. for the modc couple this would be a very logical conclusion for the high schooler the thirty year old dated but again logic or feelings are up to their whimsy. no one cares bc everything can be counted as dubious so honestly it's a fucking stupid fucking topic like again why are we litigating what is and isnt consent when you could just like idk. read cues? consent? wait? not be a freak? like we all know what is proper human shit so even if we are watching this uncritically which u cant bc it's glaring and stupid it's just even more dumb) so it was honestly a rape plot like he literally planned it soooooooooo??!?!

5. aftermath of rape the victim is like literally fucking bereft and confused. and a rape victim. like that's what they are insinuating and what also he is to be clear.

6. boy tells him "idc if i raped u i luv u lmao"

7. mom ENCOURAGED THE BOY to get him drunk because her other son was too nice? she encouraged her adult son to rape her adult step-son (but her real son because she repeatedly says you are my son and the dad does too THEY GREW UP TOGETHER WHEN THE KID WAS IN AN IMPRESSIONABLE STATE) so THIS ALSO MAKES EVEN LESS MOTHERFUCKING SENSE

8. everyone finds out about his rape and he isnt mortified he's just concerned about himself being gay to his dad?????? except it's not really about his gayness bc now it's about his sudden love for his rapist brother? which? hm ok. understandable the dad is like wow i do not think i like this

9. dad knows all of it is fucked up, everyone does, knows the mother fucked up, knows he fucked up. doesnt like it because he is normal. so we know this is terrible? ok great so—

10. father says "i can't accept this...but i'm willing to give you my blessing" ok see here's the thing. when you write you have to think about the things you are putting on the page and what you have written previously. this quite literally made no sense how the fuck are you going to not accept them but give them your blessing? does this crew know what the fuck words are? i'm assuming they went to some sort of school to obtain jobs here bc there cannot be natural talent or experience. maybe most of them are rich. fuck i do not know but this also makes no sense. just the literal logic of it it's like fucking insane the whiplash.

10.5 apparently this father is also shitty. everyone here sucks and they are basically begging me to think xing si is a fucking idiot so i dont even want to look at him if he is an object he doesnt matter so now i want to kick him. thanks a lot you made the victim get absolutely fucking nothing

they KEEP PUSHING the brother thing it is so insane and it's liek GUYS WE GET IT WE UNDERSTAND THEYRE "RELATED" BUT NOT RELATED SO IT'S OK HE WAS "RAPED" BUT NOT RAPED but you're GOING BACK ON YOUR OWN RULES!!!!!!!!!! WE GET THAT THEY ARE BROTHERS!!! WE'RE OVER IT NOW BUT WHAT IS THIS WHEN WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED SOMETHING? I AM CONFUSION? they flip flop between my son, my brother my actual brother, and cannot fucking distinguish between love for your father and love for your romantic partner? so to me what i see is that the father wants to fuck the son. that's the conclusion i am garnering now considering nothing matters and his love for his "brother" is the same as his love for his dad lmao. they couldnt even do that in a way that made sense. like damn anybody can get anything. these ppl who are doing this have to be fucking rich and/or have connections.

also this guy sounds literally like a textbook abuser like he says constantly "im the best choice" is a rapist is awful holds capital (oh hees "saving" smh ur trapping her!!!!! RETIRE!!!!) also wears terrible shoes so i am like ur alllllllllLLLLL FUCKING CRAZY ur all literally crazy and then they are trying to set rules and boundaries in their fucking house like WHY ARE THEY LIVING TOGETHER EVEN? even tho oh my god they know he raped him and for some reason they are both allowing to live in the house but they dont want them to have sex??!?!?!??!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?! i get that this is their house but this is like at this point these ppl are writing anything and now whatshisface is acting like a 2 yr old again and we are supposed to find this cute? like it makes 0 sense why do u fucking care u literally encouraged ur son to rape him so they cant have consensual sex under your nose now and have to wait four years? this is coming from the son who couldnt wait until someone was sober enough to realize hes fucking psychotic and should be killed also the fact that they act like being 20 means u have no fucking brain like this kid is in med school supposedly how do we know like hes a liar and an idiot so. also wait do they mean undergrad? how are you in med school at 20? is he a genius? girl i dont care lmao i guess i missed that but it's not like it matters so whatever

even if we ignore the stupidity of the literal acts, the grossness of the content, the absolute inability to write coherently or even remotely in a way where we would even want to see them together which is like....u set it up at the beginning so he punches "the love his life's best friend" also holy fuck im sorry remember when he punches muren because xing si got too drunk. so i'm guessing whatshisface is that good of a bartender that he makes super strong drinks and gets xing si drunk but his alcohol is magical therefore it doesn't make him sick. his alcohol is the type that gets you drunk but somehow doesnt get to your liver even though that's how we get drunk but dont ask guys he's only in med school and a bartender so i think he knows best (seriously have the main writers had a day of fun in their lives? have they ever been drunk? are they toddlers? drunk babies could probably do better tho.) i get that he was also jealous but if this kid is SOOOOOO genius (he understands social cues lmao he has the cpacity to project onto his victim so im like miss me with the not understanding shit. go to a fucking therapist like seriously did no one care abt this kid? his mother thinks he's like almost a goddamn murderer. how is she not dead? how are they all not dead? how do any of them know how to drive with this type of brain?) then he would understand that they are very clearly friends since he watched them part in a very platonic way and since he apparently knows what love is cos he thinks....he can....make someone fall in love with him bc he loves them? again, i wouldnt know hes 20 and taiwanese and im 29 and black from AMERICA so im WESTERN* so you know. different life experiences i guess XD

even if we do mental gymnastics to get it to a place where they "had sex" and he didnt rape him there's 0 ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ties to the literal story they wrote and the rules they set up. i'm going ot assume they dont know wtf theyre doing and i know for a fact we all care more about their dumb show than they do but it's actually startling how piss poor this is it's like idek what to compare it to. the continuity is awful awful awful they needed a script supervisor majorly and they are making bank and are going to make fucking bank fof this shit. and itll just continue like that until IRL material changes and that's facilitated by these very same groups they choose to profit off of and exploit by propelling it into the mainstream and litigating homosexuality through capitalism. and i'm being specific with homosexuality. i dont want a GL market like at all and i know why we wouldnt have it either and that has everything to do with the nature of BL, capitalism, coercion, and the fanbase being young girls and women. i don't think in this day and age we can safely say all the fans are straight; i'm sure a majority but many women or people on the gender spectrum and sexuality spectrum also consume it. frankly, it's possible the women who write it could be or something too. i dont rly believe any1 is str8 lmao but im just saying it's not out of the realm of possibility. but it isnt about that at all. that's why we wont see "good" female characters (like well written) often that's why we won't see trans women or kathoeys or fat people or black asians in it. a lot of it is is a choice we participate in whatever. but holy fuck dude u could at least respect the audience's fucking intelligence. i'm talking about everything i think that is encapsulated in the project but it's even more jarring and worse because it's so insanely inconsistent and poorly done. like how we jump from one conclusion to another is wild to me. even their first "night together" and he wakes up im like girl....u no ur ass felt it. this nigga broke into his house and was like "im gonna have u" like it's getting weird

just make xing si suffer offscreen not us the stupidity is staggering, mind blowing, hilarious.

how wong kar wai, a straight man from HK (or at least married to a woman), or barry jenkins, a striahgt black man, write/do stories well about people they wouldnt knw about their experiences directly is....well thinking like using their brains and like knowing all types of people? the man who co-wrote moonlight is a hOMOSEXUAL, leslie cheung was fucking gay or queer (and he committed suicide and that's important also RIP homie) both are hailed as queer cinema like WKW wanted to do something else and invested time into it, changed the way he played around with structure, moved away from his crime oriented stuff. he THOUGHT about it and this film is about their reality. it's a harsh film, idk how i feel about it (but my fav movies of his are the crime ones or the messy ones where it's clear he didnt write a script lmao fallen angels is one of my fav movies its' abt assassins kinda) but i know it means something. and he didnt like what HK had previously wasnt enough. it is not the only cinema that should be shown since it's such a stark reality and depressing but it is a real depiction so we can have all sorts of stuff. no this isnt WKW level or moonlight level but i know for a fact these people think they are doing something because artists always do i say this as one and someone who is equally as useless. you're making a statement.

i also hate the westerner component of peoples analyses. first of all dont do cultural relativism. we can critique and respect. but second of all how are we going to keep saying "dont put western ideals on this" when that is what is happening anyway because that's part and parcel for soft power and capitalism. how about taiwan's history with the KMT? what about the regimes young people fought about? aided by US imperialism which permeates through society and affects material conditions, views, democracy, identity and that goes into culture and media. hm? what about that? is that reality too fucking western for people? that we are doing the same thing again now? is that okay to talk about or is that only on your time?

then there's the argument that this is just entertainment. yea no shit but the thing is if we r gonna talk about marginalized groups and watch bc of marginalized groups and then be expected to identify then i dont see why i cant put this in context. even if it wasnt fucking serious we'd still judge it. but it's so pompous and again like i wouldnt say EYE think it's art but it is "art" in the literal sense and no self respecting artist would ever go "man this means nothing." of course im not sure if they do respect themselves so hey but u cant just go oh man it's entertainment when it literally rests on the fact that HOMOS are MARGINALIZED. it literally rests on the fact that WOMEN ARE OBJECTS. you either want progress or you dont. i dont understand being so demanding but not beign specific in the demands and not trying to use your brain. if you dont want to use your brain don't. but if you are looking , engaging, and keep making these arguments or telling ppl it doesnt matter whilst complaining about how much others care is hypocritical at best, willfully obtuse at worst. both bad. :)

(also all this + another thing; it is insulting to have this like wedding happen based off of this stupid relationship when people fought so hard and had to push it. now they can use the material conditions to their advantage but it's so ridiculous. also because there is difficulty still in getting married in taiwan i'm honestly like....the boldness of the writers...)

[dante-digs-down]

Ive been mulling the feelings over a bit. And Ill do my best to communicate them coherently. So here's my reaction to Tommy's 3/1/2021 stream and to fandom things that have happened so far:

WARNING SPOILERS FOR DSMP AS OF 3/1/2021

So um yep. Tommy's dead right? I watched the ending a few times. Seems real. Looks real. Definitely doesnt feel real. I just..... i started crying because wow. This is really the end of it huh? I know this is far from over but wow. Its just fucking shocking.

After watching it I cried. Felt nothing for a bit. Cried some more. Watched some animatics about it (thank you lovely artists). Watched some of the other smp members' reactions to it. Read some reactions on tumblr about it. Cried some more. Why am i crying so much? Is this really it? I hope not. I know its stupid and it wont make me any happier but i want the writers to bring him back. Somehow. I dont think it would be wise though.

I couldn't sleep. Kept thinking about it. What it might mean for the future of the smp. Im happy for Cc!Tommy because i know he's going to focus more on YouTube and hes got college to deal with. But its so strangely bitter to think that c!Tommy is dead. Will he come back? Who knows. Its terrifying. The not knowing. Maybe thats why im so disraught over it. Ive been distanced from the dsmp for a while, a few steps behind all the streams so i always know what comes next to some extent. But now im cuaght up. Now im here.

Here where the road ends , im staring into a void until the next part is built. Has the story always felt like this? Or is it just how the strings tug at the empty bits in my head, in my chest?

I.... i worry that this means so much more than what is on the surface. Does this mean c!Tommy's story is ending? Logically i know it cant last forever. I didn't think it would end like this. Not like this. Never never like this. What does this mean for the smp? Will it lose popularity if Cc!Tommy leaves? Will Cc!Tommy lose viewers if he becomes less involved in the dsmp? There's so much to worry about to thibk about, its its overwhelming and and im still trying to process the fact that c!Tommy is dead. He's fucking dead! Hes gone and i dont know what's going to happen next.

And looking at the other members' stories and content. If Cc!Tommy does end up moving on, what will it mean for Cc!Tubbo and him? I dont know much about thier friendship, and with Cc!Ranboo entering the mix, everything is all that much more uncertain. I just dont know. I dont know and there's so much to think about and to analyze and the speculate about and its all so uncertain. Anything could happen! Anything! Where will it all go from here?

c!Tommy died alone, at the hands of his abuser. As an individual with pretty bad ptsd from my own abuser, im STILL processing the Exile arc and abuse c!Tommy went through. Recent events are not helping much. Its just seems so final and depressing and abrupt all at the same time.

I personally love the fluffy sbi family content we get on the dsmp. Im not a huge fan of how fandom interprets c!Philza as a terrible father figure, even though its probably more accurate to cannon than i would like to admit. I would honestly just like some comfort, but it might be wishful thinking at this point. In the fanfics ive read, many fans tend to either fall into sbi supporters or awesamdad and momma puffy side of things. I like both, but ive yet to see a fic where either side isn't pitted against the other. Why cant they all be good parental figures to c!tommy? Why does it have to be one or the other?

Well, thats everything ive been overthinking about since the stream yesterday. If anything in my rant caught your eye dont hesitate to reach out to me or open up about your own ideas. Im 100% sure im overthinking this too much but it feels better to write it all down rather than keep it in my head.

[indigoh4ze]

ok so i’m lesbian (but aromantic and non-binary, so my journey w gender/sexuality is prolly a bit different from yours), and here’s just my experience w/ comphet and fictional characters and stuff. ok, so i USED to think i had crushes on SO many guys. turns out, i’m just terrified of men bc i was very uncomfortable around them and i thought that meant i had a crush. in fact, this is very wrong. so that’s when i knew i was aromantic and sapphic. now w fictional characters, i think about fictional men sometimes. like obviously i don’t feel romantic attraction to real people, but i feel something for fictional people, men, women, or other. this doesn’t mean i’m not aromantic anymore. just like thinking im attracted to fictional men doesnt make me not lesbian anymore. the idea of “fictional men” is just too much of a grey area, since yes, they are men, but they are NOT achievable, tangible, or obtainable in any way, shape or form. you simply rely on your head. so to process an entire relationship in your head is SO much more different than irl. like many of the fictional men i thought i had a crush on turned out to be guys i wanted to act like bc they gave me gender envy. others, i still think about but don’t think too hard on it bc again, they’re fictional. comphet comes from misogyny & sexism, and even i sometimes still questioning if i’m “faking it” bc i’m not a stereotypical man hating white lesbian, or if it’s bc of ppl like y’all who keep saying you can’t feel a single thing towards men, but y’all need to realize lys is still questioning. she has NOT confirmed being lesbian. when i was still questioning, i still (thought i?) was attracted to fictional men. and that, i can blame on comphet. she doesn’t HAVE to ever stop liking these men, they’re fictional after all. she can’t put to the test how she’d feel if she was ACTUALLY in a relationship w them. y’all don’t say shit when straight girls talk abt how hot female celebs/characters are or when they literally talk about fucking them when they’re STRAIGHT, but suddenly it’s a problem when someone questions being lesbian but still talks about FICTIONAL. MEN. y’all just wanna gatekeep something that (some of) y’all aren’t even a part of, and probably make being queer your entire aesthetic and talk abt how you’re gonna get “hate crimed” (looking at y’all white folks). but to make this simple, S. T. F. U. <3

- from the same non binary lesbian anon <3

no cuz i appreciate you so fucking much thank you. you explained it so well. and for me esp, my whole thing w fictional characters is that they’re like my spurces of comfort, so imagining im w them helps me. and yes, i find them attractive, bc they’re fucking pretty??? like by all those anons logic, if a straight girl called a fictional women pretty, they’d like women. which isn’t always true. obviously. my thing is, i feel like im faking it because of the whole fictional men thing, and i also just keep second guessing my attraction towards men bc like what if i just haven’t met the right one yet? and that’s all part of comphet. and let’s be honest. this wouldn’t be happening if i was a straight girl talking about fictional women. i could talk ab this forever but you covered the important parts so, annoying anons can kindly fuck off please <3