#some people are big and agile as hell

[heresiae]

tell me you never went to many gyms / sport classes without telling me you never went to many gyms / sport classes

it's so funny when ppl"s defence of no fat characters existing in video games is "uh they wouldn't be able to physically do the things the character does" like damn i hate to break it to you but skinny bitches can't physically cast a fireball in real life either but nobody has a problem with that

[reginalusus]

Just a sketch that I was too tired to finish... And since it's Father's Day I'm just gonna dump a bunch of my more silly (mostly) headcanons about their dynamic below, teehee.

General - They argue. A lot. About anything. Jason is the instigator. Harvey is almost always correct. - There has been a karaoke battle at some point. - They smoke far too much and smoke breaks are common occurrences during anti-hero outings. They are no longer mere breaks; they are rituals. - One of the only things they are comfortable openly bonding over is their alleged hatred of Bruce - and weapons. - Actually work very well together in combat. Jason's accurate, hard-hitting martial arts expertise and agility compliment Harvey's more elegant and violent approach. Gotham's scumbags are cooked. - They were both slain by Gotham, and reborn. They are now both living their second life - neither want to admit to each other that they find comfort that they're not alone in this. - They will take any opportunity to bring up each other's past interactions; the two-toned car, the two-story building fiasco, the kidnapping, anything. - Jason's biological father is the root cause of their most explosive, brutal fights. Both of them, however, are exhausted and have other shit to worry about, so they avoid this topic as best as they can.

Jason's POV - Teases Harvey about twos, duality and doubles to distract from the horrors. - When angry, will call Harvey 'Apollo' to piss him off. Sometimes it's 'Ex-District Attorney', with emphasis on the 'Ex'. - He doesn't like it very much when Harvey attempts to get close/connect with him; relationships are transactional. At least that's how Jason views them. - Hates being passenger in Harvey's car because he doesn't get any say over the radio. - He does view Harvey as a parental figure, or something like it, but he's conflicted. - Actually appreciates it when Harvey helps him through PTSD episodes. - Sadly, he isn't very good at helping Harvey through dissociation/depressive episodes yet. He sort of stands there like the man emoji. - Will randomly come out with courtroom related lines when Harvey does something bad, like: "Your honour, my client would like to plead Gemini," or "Your honour, in my client's defence, he didn't know the safety lock was off." - Makes jokes about Harvey's thugs all wanting to have 'a night' with Harvey. - Absolutely refuses to call Harvey "dad", even jokingly. He will have sightseen everything in Hell before that happens. - But at the same time he cries out for a father figure, one that is proud of him, that loves him. He secretly loves it when Harvey pats his shoulder or gives an approving nod.

Harvey's POV - Will make jokes about Jason being alive again to distract from the horrors. - When angry, calls Jason 'Robin' or 'Pup' (name of a baby bat) to piss him off. - Tries to bond with Jason - he *wants* to - but he's a big dumbass about it. - Does not understand Jason's music taste and doesn't have any desire to. - Views Jason as the child he never had the chance to have. In a sense, that makes him quite protective of Jason, but he hides this. He tries desperately not to be like his own father. - Is quite good at understanding Jason's emotions; he knows how to deal with his attacks and does, begrudgingly, use tips he learned from his previous therapists. - Doesn't wish to burden Jason with his own episodes. Unfortunately it's not always possible to hide them. - Just as Jason tortures him with puns, Harvey will do it right back. He'll come out with things like, "We only put up with you because you were the SECOND Robin," or "How would you like to die a second time?" - He will stand and stare awkwardly when Jason brings (sneaks) lovers back to the hideout. But he minds his business. - May have accidentally called Jason his son a few times. Or his "kid". But not to Jason directly, only in his talks between himself and Two-Face. - He likes seeing Jason happy. So many kids and young people are let down by Gotham's corruption and he'll be damned if Jason becomes a victim of it (again).

[muletia]

i read your post about megatron showing off like a bird. so perhaps i present you.. the other obsessed!bots showing off?

obsessed!optimus prime making sure his paint is in it’s best shape, practically shining from the amount of work he put into it and silently hoping, praying (and probably screaming) that you’ll praise him and, if you’re past the relationship faze, peg him enough to were he can act normally around the autobots to get another mission done without daydreaming again.

obsessed!ratchet constantly talking about his experience with his hands (he’s quite the medic, wink wink *dies*) and skills over the course of his long life, even talking about some of the impressive feats he managed to pull off.

and hell, maybe even some of the decepticon’s lean into this too. i especially think starscream would be the most likely to do this.

obsessed!starscream would probably brag about his feats when he was decepticon commander and things he did on Cybertron. Making sure to be in his best condition and showing off what his jet form can do, even doing those words made in air some people do with planes.

you are so big-brained anon, i love your ideas!!

i’ve decided to expand on optimus’s concept a bit and threw in a few other characters

optimus definitely forgets to take care of himself sometimes, or he simply doesn’t have the time due to the busy schedule. if we add a sprinkle of obsession to the mix, his lack of self-care can easily be attributed to the hours he spends daydreaming about you, you, and that one night you shared just a few days ago. but when he does finally get around to looking after himself and polishes his paint to the point where you can see your reflection in it, he’ll silently beg for crumbs of praise from you. he might still have that resting prime face, but if you compliment him, bro is mentally screaming, giggling, and kicking his feet like a schoolgirl. he might even strut around proudly after your kind words, shocking the rest of the team.

i haven’t written about him yet, but… smokescreen showing off his speed to impress you? or honestly, doing anything extreme to get your attention. handstands, backflips, showing how agile he is. and when he takes you for a ride, suddenly he’s drifting or doing donuts. isn’t he just so cool? please, say he is—smokes will do absolutely anything for your approval.

soundwave will bring you gifts. did you mention a game you’ve been dying to have? a few days later, a copy of that game shows up in your steam library. are you into diy? he hands you an enormous box of various types of yarn. or brings you shiny, colorful stones that caught laserbeak’s optic during patrol. imagine him presenting you with a giant gold nugget or gemstones worth a fortune.

knockout will use his body but in a more sensual, seductive way. he’s always polished and pristine, and his finish practically screams for attention. but if, somehow, that doesn’t work on you, knockout is more than willing to behave like an absolute attention whore. oh no! he’s totally accidentally dropped something on the floor! and instead of bending down like a normal person, he’s about to give you the most sensual show you’ve ever seen (picture that one scene with megan fox from the first transformers movie lmao).

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

Tear you apart

Niragi as your friend with benefits, headcannons. Fem reader. +18 below cut

General masterlist

⚠️ In dark, full of despair world of Borderland luxurious Beach seemed to be dreamlike utopia where everybody could just enjoy life and forget about constant bloody fight for survival, even if only for a second. However, this illusion of a paradise was hiding many ugly secrets. Power-hungry control freaks in charge, enemies hidden in plain sight, armed social outcasts terrorising its residents under excuse of keeping the order and crowd of people trying to drown their existential fear in sex, drugs and alcohol. Caged between constant anxiety and bitter, temporary relief after each game won you also lived through every day as if it was your last. Instead of numbing yourself with strange pills or vodka, you found more primal addiction to distract your mind and body from this reality.

You were concerned about how fast this dangerous and unpredictable man became your painkiller. Everything about him was like a big red flag, but this brutal realm made you used to chaos. Hell, maybe it was exactly the thing that made you seek him out. After all, you could die in the next game, why not take a risk and enjoy something you wouldn't have enough courage to try in the real world? So you listened to your body and indulged in this forbidden pleasure. In the end it's not that deep, it's not like you two are a thing, you just want to feel alive before you get old, or more likely eliminated from games. And he was so exciting. Bad boy, fun and unpredictable. Niragi made your heart beat faster.

⚠️ What made you so physically interested in him at first was his tongue. Pierced, long and extremely agile. The way Niragi used to stick it out at all times didn't help at all, the sight of its tip gently stroking his lower lip while he concentrated on something never failed to make you insanely wet. You cringed a bit when he tried to provoke you by doing some obscene moves with it in your face, tho.

Nowadays this hot, talented tongue of his drives you to insanity. Niragi has oral fixation and his idea of foreplay usually includes licking you from your head to your toes. He will only ever do things in bed that satisfy him, he isn't the type to do something just because you like it. So when he tastes you all over you better believe he does it for his own pleasure. Not to mention the ego boost he gets from your moans when he overstimulates you with it. He knows just how flexible and long is his tongue and loves to flex it. As much as he gets off on disgusted reactions he gets from ladies when he flirts with them (sometimes even behaving a bit vulgar to earn them) sometimes deep down he wants to be wanted, needed, begged for - and he achieves it when his head is between your legs. So ask for him, moan, even ride his face, it makes him so eager. This is the only bit of control this man will let you have in bed.

⚠️ Besides this one thing, he's strictly dominant. A lot of his trauma revolves around being humiliated and having his physical boundaries violated to extreme level, just how much it influenced him shows in the way he fucks. First of all he loves to bind your hands. Besides the fact, that it makes you very vulnerable in front of him, making him feel more confident and secure - it's also a way for him to make sure you won't touch him in a way he couldn't control. He is a very touch starved person who craves physical stimulation and company of others more than anything, but for years only physical touch from others he got was painful and violent. This screwed him up deeply. He tries to shield himself during sex, for example he will not fully undress himself while you are completely naked or he will behave in overconfident or pushy way, hoping you won't notice how much his hands shake. You know how people who starved for a long time get nauseous when they finally get some food? That's Niragi and affection. So he will ovestimulate you until you can't even think anymore; bind your hands above your head to not feel your palm press against his chest - where his heart is; and intimidate you to make you submissive. He wants to feel your warm flesh accept him so much he will manhandle you and squeeze you, to make sure you are real, to make sure you are there. To make sure he can touch you and you won't run from him. He always fucks hard and fast, like he's trying to prove a point. You never now if it's to you or to himself.

⚠️ Niragi is impulsive and always seeks stronger stimuli, he has a strong tendency to overdo things. His mood changes very fast. You will definitely notice how it shows in bed as well. He has extremely bad day and wants to feel less shitty? He will fuck you in front of other people so everybody can see just how much of a man he is. He feels like somebody questioned his authority at the meeting with other high status citizens of the Beach? He might choke you just to feel empowered, to feel like your life lays in his hands and see your begging gaze get cloudy. He will do many things to make sure you feel who has control here, like making you suck on his gun (safety on, dw), spitting on your pussy and slapping it harshly just to hear you scream his name or leaving hickeys wherever he wants regardless of your opinion on that. He is the one deciding when and where you two fuck, your sex life revolves around his activities with the Militants.

⚠️ He's a messy boy and sex with him is just as messy. He loves it wet. At the end you will be covered in cum and spit and his entire face will be soaked with your squirt. He comes wherever he wants. Bad impulse control and awful pull out game. Things tend to go in dubcon territory with him from time to time cause he treats you like his doll and handles rejections very badly. He openly considers himself a filthy creep and is not ashamed of this indentity, pretty much the opposite - he embraces it. He wouldn't hesitate to eat your ass or kiss you right after he filled your mouth with his cum. He's the type to find your after game of spades just to lick off your sweat. If it makes you uncomfortable he gets instant boner. He's hella hypersexual so expext a lot of sex.

⚠️ He will have trouble with respecting rules of fwb deal. He will leave hickeys and cum inside you like you are his. Niragi will get jealous as if you were in commited relationship and will blame you for advances of other people out of his own insecurity and fear that you will choose someone else over him. Don't even try eyeing other people. He will at first attempt to disguise his jealousy as being protective to not feel like a loser but won't keep it up for long. Unless you crush his rival's dreams in the cruelest way possible he is mad at you just in case you even considered other guy for a second. You might get tired of it pretty fast, Niragi constantly refuses to be open and vulnerable with you while expecting you to be as loyal as a girlfriend should be, even if you never promised each other anything but pleasure. However he simply doesn't care if he's being unfair. He is not a good guy after all.

⚠️ If at any point you decide to get out of this fwb thing with him, well. Good fucking luck. Niragi will definitely get pissed off, trying to argue with you and convince you that you have no say in this matter. If you manage to withstand this pressure and leave anyways - get ready for him to get passive aggressive. He will make your life harder and won't hesitate to use his position on the beach to do so, hoping that you will come to him for help. Any guy that tries to approach you will suffer consequences of Niragi's fury as well. Nobody can touch you if he can't. If loneliness and helplessness won't be enough to make you come back to him, expect him to invade your personal space and bother you. The only way for it to stop is escaping from the Beach.

[badkitty3000]

Breaking The Rules

Five x Plus Size Female Reader, Words: 8,159, One-shot

Warnings: Smut, slight Daddy kink

So I received a very lovely request from someone I won't name, but they asked for something very specific:

"There aren't that many Five x plus size reader fics, And I think that should be changed"

I immediately jumped on this idea, because yes, this does need to change. Body representation is very important. I fully admit that I normally write Five with petite women, and that's usually because he's not a huge guy himself, so I tend to make them smaller. That's kind of the standard formula I suppose: bigger guy, smaller girl? But it doesn't have to always be that way. Everyone should be represented in a positive way.

Anyway, I have tried my best to fulfill this request and hopefully I do it justice. 😽❤️☂️

You had just been transferred from Records to Case Management. It was a pretty big promotion, but you had worked hard for it and deserved it. You were excited to be out of the stuffy records room and into the main population of employees since you were by nature a very social person. At one point you had thought about training for an agent position, but decided against it. Even though that’s really what you dreamed of doing. Instead, you figured vying for an executive position would be the best route, but that would take a few more years in the machine.

Part of your job was taking the data that you put together and assigning a particular agent to the case. You were good at solving puzzles, which is why you were put in this department to begin with, but you were also very good at reading people. You loved getting to know new people and their personalities, and what made them tick. People in general were fascinating to you, and the Commission had plenty of personalities.

As usual, you had no problem fitting in with your new coworkers. You had some sort of energy or charisma that drew others in. Maybe it was your infectious laugh, or your inappropriate sense of humor. Or just that way that you had of putting everyone around you at ease. Whatever it was, it was a source of pride for you. You liked being the one people gravitated to.

There was one person that did not seem as smitten with you as everyone else, and that was Number Five Hargreeves. You knew of him, of course. Everyone did. He was a legend among legends and there was a reason for that. You hadn’t been there the first time around, when he was fresh out of the Apocalypse, but when he came back years later as a younger version of himself, it was all anyone could talk about.

Five had a reputation for being aloof and if you caught him on the wrong day, he’d cut you down with some biting insult that was just as powerful as any physical harm he could do. He was smart, agile, and brutally honest. He was also hot as hell.

There seemed to be no end to the line of women that would purposefully parade past him on a daily basis. You couldn’t blame them, though. You’d caught yourself staring a few times, as you watched him read over a file with that serious expression of his, before he nodded a curt thank you and disappeared in a flash of blue. But you weren’t really that interested in him and you knew for a fact that he didn’t date inside the office. You admired that about him, actually, because neither did you.

Just because he wasn’t sleeping around the Commission, however, didn’t mean he wasn’t getting some action elsewhere. When you work for an organization that can see anything and everyone across all timelines and at any point in time…well, rumors are bound to start spreading. And you had heard a lot of them.

As with all rumors, it was hard to determine how much of it was true, but you could at least believe what you heard about his usual taste in women. Petite, thin, perky boobs, a flat stomach, and a small, tight ass. The guys at the switchboard loved to give descriptions of Five’s latest conquests, and they all sounded about the same. But hey, good for him, everyone has a type.

So, even if you were somehow interested in him from a romantic standpoint, you wouldn’t have made the cut anyway. You didn’t fit that stereotypical mold of those other women with your wide hips, slightly bigger breasts and butt, and a stomach that had never been flat. You doubted his usual dates had stretch marks on their thighs and hips, or even a small amount of cellulite on their ass. Not that you cared. Everyone’s bodies were different, after all.

Being a bigger sized woman didn’t bother you. You were confident in your body and made no apologies about it. Just because you couldn’t fit into the size negative two jeans that were constantly shoved in your face on every clothing store mannequin, didn’t mean you weren’t going to wear what you wanted. Short skirts, tight blouses that hugged your chest, or low cut, strappy dresses. If you liked it and it fit, who the fuck cared what anyone else thought? You liked yourself and your body, and if someone else didn’t, then that was their problem.

You liked sex, too, and you had no problems in that department either. You’d had many boyfriends, and a few one-night stands. Currently, you were unattached, but that was ok. There would be another man along at some point and you weren’t going to settle for someone you didn’t like. In the meantime, you’d ogle the eye candy at work.

It was a typical day when you had your first real interaction with Five. Sitting in the breakroom with your lunch, laughing loudly with your coworkers, the room suddenly became very quiet. You looked over to see Five strolling casually in, heading for the coffee station. He didn’t speak to anyone, or really even look in their direction, but there were nervous glances all around. One by one, your friends quietly made some excuse and got up to leave. Eventually, it was just you left at the table.

“Aren’t you going to flee in terror with the rest of them?”

You looked up, surprised to see that he was actually talking to you. You pointed to your salad in front of you. “I’m still eating. And you don’t really scare me, sorry.”

Five looked thoughtful for a second and you saw the glimmer of a smile before he took another sip of coffee.

“Nice work on the Edinburgh case, by the way.”

You nodded. “Thanks. I didn’t think you even knew who I was.”

Five shrugged. “I pay attention. Especially when I see real talent.”

You frowned. “So, you’re stalking me, is that what you’re telling me?”

Five almost choked on his coffee. “What? No! Why would you…”

“I’m kidding!” you laughed. “I’m just messing with you. Thank you, though. I appreciate the compliment.”

“Oh,” Five said, clearly uncomfortable. “You’re welcome.” Then he cleared his throat. “Well, I’ll leave you to finish your meal.”

“You don’t have to go, you know,” you said as he headed for the door. He stopped and looked back at you and you gestured to one of the empty seats. “It’s ok to relax sometimes. Maybe be social? And I don’t bite…at least not without prior consent,” you added with a wink.

Five stood there for a few seconds in thought, and you figured he was conjuring up some perfectly crafted insult for you. Instead, you saw his mouth twitch up at the corner and he gestured to you with his coffee cup.

“Well, that is very good to know. Consent is always important.”

With that, he turned on his heel and walked away.

A few days later you were standing with your friends in the hallway at the end of the workday, talking about the upcoming Commission pickleball tournament you were all playing in. One of your best players had been injured on a job and now you were down a body. As you were discussing options, you saw Five walking in your direction.

“Hey, Hargreeves!” you yelled. “You up for some pickleball?”

Five stopped in his tracks and actually looked around, as if there could be another Hargreeves standing right behind him. Then he looked back at you, thoroughly confused.

“What the hell are you doing?” whispered one of your friends.

“What?” you replied. “The guy’s like a hundred years old, he probably fucking loves pickleball.” You turned back to Five. “We need another player, you game?”

Still rooted to the spot, Five shook his head slowly. “Thanks for the invite. But I’ll have to decline.”

There was an audible sigh of relief from the rest of your group. You rolled your eyes. “Come on! It’ll be fun. You know what fun is, don’t you?”

Five narrowed his eyes, but you could see there was no bite to it. “Yes, I know what fun is.”

“Well, I promise this will be all sorts of fun.” You gave him a big smile. “And as a bonus, you’ll get to watch me run around in a short skirt.”

Your friend next to you slapped you on the arm. “What is wrong with you?” they hissed.

Five actually smiled for a second, you were sure of it. “Tempting, but again, I have to decline.” Then he continued on his way down the hall.

Over the next few weeks, you made it your personal mission to try and get Five to loosen up. Whether you personally delivered case files to him just as an excuse to talk to him, or purposefully followed him into the breakroom, you wouldn’t leave him alone until you got him to at least smile at something you said. After a while, you noticed he was much more relaxed around you. Eventually, you and he were officially friends, much to the amazement of everyone else around you. He even started seeking you out on his downtime.

“Hey there, handsome,” you joked as Five strode up to your desk one day. “Something I can do for you, or did you just miss me?”

“You know, I could report you to human resources for sexual harassment,” he said as he perched on the edge of your desk, folding his arms across his chest with a smile. He had a standard manilla file folder in one hand.

“It’s only harassment if you don’t like it,” you replied, pointing a pen at him.

“I’m not sure that’s accurate.”

“Sure it is,” you said as you jabbed him in the arm with the pen, laughing when he frowned and rubbed at the area. “But seriously, did you need something?”

“Maybe. I just wanted to run this by you.” He slapped the case file on your desk.

“What is it?”

“A case I was assigned to. I read it over though, and I don’t think it’s right. I wanted your opinion.”

You raised your eyebrows. “Me? The legendary Mr. Five wants my lowly opinion?”

“Just shut up and read the fucking file.”

With a laugh, you opened it and started reading. He watched you, rather intently you noticed, while you read. You frowned and shook your head, pointing at a paragraph. “Right here, this isn’t true. The clockmaker didn’t take a carriage to work that day. He walked.”

Five nodded. “That makes this whole case pointless, then. I’d be targeting the wrong person.”

“Shit, you’re right.” You looked up at him. “Good catch.”

“It looked off somehow, but I couldn’t figure it out. I knew you would, though.”

Normally you’d say something snarky to bust his balls, but he was being truly sincere and his compliment meant a lot to you. “Thanks, Five.”

He shrugged and grabbed the file off your desk. “Alright, see you later.”

As he turned around to leave, you couldn’t help yourself. “Hey, Five?”

He stopped and turned. “Yeah?”

“I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away.”

Five shook his head while you cackled at your own joke. “Can’t even make it ten seconds without treating me like a piece of meat. You’re hopeless.”

The following day, you were in the breakroom getting some coffee when you overheard a conversation by some of your coworkers.

“…yeah, I heard it’s not good. Took a shot right to the chest.”

“I heard it was a head shot; that he’s barely alive.”

“No way, I don’t believe it. Not him.”

You turned toward the group, coffee cup in hand. “Who are you talking about?���

“You haven’t heard? Your buddy was shot up pretty bad today.”

You frowned, lowering your cup. “Who, Five?”

“Yeah. I only heard bits and pieces so far, but it doesn’t sound great. They brought him directly to the infirmary when he came back. There was a trail of blood in the hall and everything.”

“What?” you cried, slamming your cup on the counter. “That can’t be.”

Your friend shrugged. “I’m just telling you what I heard.”

“Shit,” you hissed, before running out of the room.

You didn’t slow down the entire way to the infirmary, dodging people in the halls, and almost knocking a few of them over in the process. How could Five be hurt? And why was just the thought making you sick to your stomach?

You burst into the infirmary just in time to see several nurses scurrying away, and a very angry and bloodied Five sitting up in one of the hospital beds.

“God damnit, if you touch me one more time, I swear to god, I will strangle you with my IV line!”

“Oh my god, Five!” Without even thinking about it, you rushed up to him and threw your arms around him, hugging him tightly to you. “Holy shit, I thought you were dead!”

His body stiffened at first, but then he relaxed and put his arms around you in return. You heard him laugh and you pulled away.

“I bet you’d like that. Then you’d finally be able to molest me without me fighting back.”

You realized a few tears had slipped down your cheek and you hurriedly wiped them away. You gave him a half-smile. “You wish.” Then you looked him over, noticing the blood on his head and the IV in his arm. “Are you ok? What happened?”

He sighed. “Nothing, just a minor mishap. I’m fine.” He spoke louder and in the general direction of the nursing staff. “But these jack-holes won’t let me leave!”

You huffed out a laugh. “I can see you’re fine by your usual lovely attitude. You should hear the rumors going around about you, though. Pretty impressive.”

“Good. I need to keep up appearances.”

When you sat down on the side of the bed, you took one of his hands in yours and squeezed it. “I’m glad you’re ok, really. I got really scared there for a minute.”

Five smiled shyly at you and gave you a squeeze back. “I’m glad someone here was worried about me.”

You tilted your head to the side and brushed a stray piece of hair off his forehead and tried to wipe away a smudge of blood. “I doubt I’m the only one.”

“I think you are,” he said, looking you directly in the eyes.

You averted your eyes for a moment. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Maybe just one thing.”

“Sure, what do you need?”

He grinned. “Go on a date with me.”

You weren’t sure you heard him correctly. “Did they check you for a concussion because I thought you just asked me out on a date.”

“I did. And no, I am not concussed.”

“Five…” you started, blinking in confusion. “I don’t understand. Do you mean like a date date?”

He huffed and rolled his eyes. “Jesus. Yes, like a date date. Why is this so hard to believe?”

“Uh, well…because we’re friends. Also, I’m not really your type.”

His eyebrows creased together. “You’re not? You’re funny, smart, and sexy. Not to mention you flirt with me every chance you get. What’s not to like?”

“I do not flirt with you.” You smiled when you saw his incredulous expression. “Ok, yeah, I do. But that was just having fun and trying to make you laugh. I didn’t think you’d be into me.”

“Why not?”

“Ok, how do I put this? I have heard all about your little conquests and I know you have a running theme. Skinny, tiny, Barbie dolls that probably have never eaten a sandwich before. And not that there’s anything wrong with that. Everyone has a type and that’s ok. Hell, normally I prefer blond guys, but…”

“Normally?” he cut in.

You blushed. “Well, I do make some exceptions for certain grouchy, dark-haired men.”

Five nodded with a smile. “So then go out with me. I promise the only type I have is the type that I happen to be attracted to. And don’t believe everything you hear around here. Remember,” he pointed to the small abrasion on his head, “I was almost dead a couple of minutes ago.”

Hesitating, you shook your head. “I don’t date anyone from work.”

“Good. Me either,” he said, still grinning.

You laughed. “Alright, then, you wore me down. It’s a date. But only if you promise to stay here for at least another hour without verbally or physically abusing these poor health care workers. It’s not their fault you’re an asshole.”

“Fine, I’ll stay, but only because I want to go out with you.” He raised his voice so the rest of the room could hear. “Not because I need to be treated like a child who fell off their tricycle!”

The next Saturday, you and Five went on your date. When he saw your outfit, he was speechless for a few seconds. He was used to seeing you in your work clothes, which was always the same boring gray pants suit, but now he got to see you in your preferred style. A form-fitting, teal blue dress that stopped halfway down your thighs and had a keyhole neckline to show off a bit of cleavage. You paired it with some gold jewelry and black, strappy heels. You laughed at his face when he saw you.

“You look…” he stammered. “That dress…just wow.”

“Thank you.” You looked him up and down, liking the way his tailored pants fit his lean body just right and his casual button-down shirt that was rolled up at the sleeves accentuated his sculpted chest. You had never really noticed how strong he looked. “You look really good, too. Much better than the stuffy suits.”

“Agreed,” he said distractedly as he continued to stare at your chest.

“Excuse me, but my eyes are up here,” you joked, pointing to your face.

He looked up briefly, then back down at your body. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll get to your eyes in a minute.”

“Wow, I had no idea you were such a pervert.”

He looked up at you with a devious smile. “Oh, yeah, huge pervert. I’m surprised you never picked up on that.” He laughed along with you and then offered his arm for you to loop yours through. “Shall we?”

At dinner, the conversation came easily. It was nice to be able to chat without having to cut it short due to work. Your stories were much duller than his, obviously, but he still seemed genuinely interested in anything you had to say. You made him laugh with your sarcastic comments and you loved knowing you were just about the only one that could crack that veneer of his. Over dessert, you finally worked up enough nerve to ask him what you really wanted to know.

“So, how come you’ve only dated thin girls before?”

Five looked surprised and he shook his head. “I haven’t only dated thin girls.”

You cocked your head to the side and raised your eyebrows. “Really?”

He coughed, embarrassed. “Ok, fine, that’s true. But it wasn’t a conscious decision. Like I said, I’m attracted to who I’m attracted to.” He paused. “But…”

“But what?”

“But what I am most attracted to is confidence. I like a woman that is sure of herself and assertive. A woman that knows what she wants.” He looked guilty for a second. “Usually, at least in my experience, those are the women that happen to fit into the societal standards of beauty. I hadn’t really thought about it until now, though. Sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry, it’s not a bad thing. I was just curious.” You hesitated, not sure you wanted to keep pressing him for information. “What was it that attracted you to me, then?”

He looked surprised again and then he laughed. “Are you kidding? I’ve never met anyone as confident and self-assured as you. Plus, you’re funny and easy to be around. And almost as smart as I am.”

“As modest as always.”

“I’m just kidding,” he said with a smile. “You’re incredibly smart, obviously. I wouldn’t waste my time with someone who wasn’t. And…” He reached across the table and placed his hand on top of yours, rubbing the back of it with his thumb. You felt a warm, tingling sensation ripple through your body. “You are also incredibly sexy with your shameless flirting.”

“Well, I’m glad you noticed,” you said, taking your finger and brushing it over his. “And just in case you didn’t know, you are also incredibly sexy.”

“I did not know that.”

“Oh yeah. I made a lot of enemies once word got out that I was going on a date with you. Lots of jealous women back at headquarters right now.”

“Is that so? Can I get a list of those women, just in case this date goes bad?”

Taking your foot, you dragged it up his calf, all while looking him in the eye with one eyebrow raised suggestively. “I don’t think it’s going to go bad, do you?”

He shook his head. “I don’t now.” You saw him swallow hard and shift in his seat. “How about we get the check?”

When you got back to your place, you were almost falling through the door as you struggled to get inside while aggressively making out. Neither of you had even made it out of the car before you started groping one another, so that by the time you had made it home, you were both on fire.

“You know,” you mumbled between frantic kisses as Five slammed the door closed behind him with his foot. “I don’t usually put out on the first date.”

“Me either,” he said as he grabbed you around the waist to pull you in closer, kissing you along your jaw.

“Ok, I lied. Yes, I do,” you exhaled breathily as your hands wound into his hair and he moved his mouth to your neck.

“Good, because I lied too,” he said, stopping to look at you with a sly grin.

After letting out a short laugh, you were back on his mouth again, breathing hard through your nose and pressing your body against his. You could feel his arousal building as he pushed his groin into your hip. Your hands fumbled as you started to unbutton his shirt.

“Fuck, you are so hot,” he breathed against your neck. “I want you out of this dress.”

As you finished undoing the last button and pulling his shirt out of his pants, you nodded. “Yeah, good idea.” When you reached down to pull at the strap of your shoe, he put a hand on yours to stop you. When you looked up, he shook his head.

“I said the dress. The shoes stay on.”

Well, if you hadn’t been wet before, you were now. The tone of his voice and the seriousness of his face only added to the hotness factor and at that point you would have followed almost any demand he made of you. Leaving the shoes on, you pulled the dress over your head while he watched. Even though you hadn’t really been anticipating your date progressing this far, you had still prepared with a pair of satin panties and lace bra that matched the same jewel tone as the dress you dropped onto the floor.

Five didn’t say anything, just eyed you up and massaged the back of his neck. Then he let out a long, shaky exhale.

“Are you ok?” you asked, suddenly a little concerned he might not be liking what he saw.

Five nodded, his gaze not leaving your breasts. “Yeah, just give me a second. I’m trying not to come in my pants.”

Your astonished laugh was quickly cut off when you found yourself pinned against the wall on the other side of the room, the fluttery sensation of one of Five’s spatial jumps lingering in your stomach. Your squeak of surprise was swallowed by his mouth on yours, as he pushed hard against you, his hands on your tits.

When he flicked his tongue across your bottom lip, you moaned and closed your eyes, jerking your hips into him. Your hands found their way to his hard chest and muscular arms, feeling them tighten and relax with each movement. He let you tug his shirt the rest of the way off and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he pressed his face into the side of your neck and lifted one of your legs up to his waist. His hard cock was grinding into you as you drew in a ragged breath. When you felt his lips against your skin and his warm breath as he brushed his mouth over your neck, you let out a loud whine.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Let Daddy hear you,” he groaned, his fingers digging into the flesh of your thigh and holding you tightly to him.

“Woah…Daddy?” you breathed out.

Five nodded, moving to the other side of your neck. “Is that ok?”

“Fuck yes, Daddy,” you moaned, running your hands greedily down his back.

You felt him smile against you and his kisses turned into small nips that he trailed down your neck and onto your shoulder.

“I want you. I can’t wait,” he said, his voice husky with desire.

“The bedroom is in there,” you said, pointing to the room just on the other side of the wall.

Five let your leg down and you pulled him by the hand into your bedroom, falling onto the bed and propping yourself on your elbows as Five stood there staring again.

“Well, come on, Daddy,” you teased. “I thought you couldn’t wait.”

A slow smile spread across Five’s face as he immediately started to undress the rest of the way, until he was crawling over you, completely naked. He rubbed his cock against your inner thigh, making a quiet growling noise in his throat before looking you in the eye.

“As much as I love this little bra and panty combination you’ve got going on here, I’m going to need those to go, too.”

When you nodded eagerly, he reached behind you and expertly unhooked your bra, tossing it off the bed before immediately moving farther south and ripping your underwear off. Once you were completely nude, Five sat back to take you all in. You assumed he liked what he saw, because it was only another second before he was covering you with his own body, attacking your full breasts with frantic sucking kisses.

“Damnit, honey, these tits…fuck,” he moaned as he buried his face in your cleavage.

“I take it that you’re pleased?” you giggled, threading your fingers through his hair.

He lifted his head, holding himself over you while he shoved your legs further apart with his knees. Then he lowered himself to kiss you tenderly, caressing your face with one hand. You let out a soft sigh.

“I’m more than pleased. You’re beautiful.”

He leaned in to kiss you again, this time using his free hand to travel down your chest and abdomen, and along your inner thighs. His long fingers met the soft, wet area between them, and he slowly ran them up through your pillowy folds, making you even wetter.

“Five…” you moaned as you rocked your hips up to match his strokes.

“What do you need, sweetheart? Tell me,” he asked, only slightly condescending as he continued to watch your face for your reactions.

Five entered you with two fingers, pressing in slowly and then backing out again before repeating it in a slow rhythm. You chased his hand with desperate thrusts of your hips, biting your bottom lip to try to contain some of the noises that threatened to escape your lips.

“Fuck me, please,” you whined, throwing your head back.

He gave a quiet chuckle and you felt his hand move away from you. Then he was positioning himself between your legs and lowering himself so that you could feel his dick rubbing against your slit.

“God, I swear I’ve never been this hard in my life. I’m going to fuck you like you want, gorgeous. Daddy’s going to take care of you.”

“Oh, shit,” you gasped when you felt him enter you, just slow enough not to be jarring, but not drawing it out, either.

When he was fully inside, you angled your hips so he was at just the right spot.

“How’s that?” he whispered as he slowly pumped into you.

“That’s good…” You grabbed at his shoulders and back. “Keep going.”

Five continued his slow and lazy thrusts while holding himself over you so he could look down at your face and body. His hair fell forward over his eye and he made quiet groaning noises that were punctuated with soft kisses.

“You feel so damn good,” he moaned.

“Five?”

“What do you need, darling?”

“I need you to really fuck me. Hard.”

He looked down at you, momentarily stopping his movements. Then he laughed quietly and you smiled back. “Well, I did say I’d fuck you like you wanted, didn’t I?”

When he pulled out, you let out a soft sigh and watched as he crawled back off the bed, his dick still hard and wet from being inside of you.

“Wha--?” you started to ask, right before he yanked your legs sideways, so that you were laying across the width of the bed.

Five positioned himself between your legs, holding them up under your knees and settling them on either side of his waist while he lined himself up and slammed into you again.

“Is this what you wanted?” he snarled, continuing to thrust into you hard and fast.

“Yes!” you cried, clutching at the sheets beneath you.

Every time he pounded into you, you got to feel the intensity of his strength as your entire body moved back and forth, your tits bouncing enticingly in front of him. He gave your voluptuous ass a hard slap that made you cry out again. You instinctively covered your mouth with your arm.

“Oh, no, I don’t think so,” Five warned through clenched teeth. “Uncover your mouth. I want to hear you scream.”

Everything he was doing and saying was driving you quickly over the edge, and you did scream for him, just like he wanted. You couldn’t even help yourself.

“Yes…please…keep going…harder, please! I need more!”

You were begging and pleading while he railed into you as hard as he possibly could, thrusting his thick cock deep inside of you while slamming his pubic bone right into your clit every single time. All while completely supporting your lower body, angling it up and off the bed so he could fuck you relentlessly and perfectly.

Soon, you felt your muscles start to twitch and your head fell back, your mouth wide open as you repeatedly asked him to fuck you harder. When you finally hit that wall, you completely lost yourself, screaming his name while bucking and thrashing wildly against him.

Your orgasm was still coming in waves when Five released himself inside of you, his head tipped back and jaw set, growling obscenities while his muscles contracted and he dug his fingers harder into your thighs.

When the intensity had passed, Five let go of your legs, setting them gently down, and he leaned over the top of you, his hands on either side of your head. He kissed you tenderly, still trying to catch his breath.

“Fuck, that was good,” he said with a heavy exhale.

You nodded, laying a hand on his cheek. “So damn good.”

After another minute, you both moved so that you were lying longways on the bed again. Five held you against his chest while he kissed your forehead and traced his fingers down your arms and back.

“I’m not sure why we haven’t been doing that all along,” he joked.

“Because you needed to get to know me and my sparkling personality first.”

Five rolled his eyes. “Sparkling? I don’t know, that seems a bit much.”

When you giggled, he pulled you close to him. Your lips pulled to the side in thought and after a few seconds you decided to just put it out there.

“Are you sure you’re ok with my body? I mean, I am, but I just want to make sure you are, too. Because if this is going to continue, and I really hope it does, then I need to know you’re going to be ok with my size and not try to change me after a while. I’ve dated men in the past that said they were ok with it, but then a month or so later, they’re encouraging me to go to the gym or making comments about my diet. They all got kicked to the curb, because I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life. I am who I am and I love my body. I just want to make sure you do, too.”

Five was quiet for a moment, then he held your chin in his hand. “Look at me,” he said quietly, while tilting you face up. “I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that body type or looks matter to me, because it doesn’t. I just had the most mind-blowing sex I have ever had, and I wouldn’t change one single thing about you. You’re perfect.”

“Wow,” you said with a smile. “Five Hargreeves just called me perfect. Wait until I spread this rumor down at headquarters.”

“I’m serious,” he said. “You believe me, don’t you?”

You nodded. “I believe you. And thank you.” You gave him a soft kiss and smiled. “So, does this mean I can keep sexually harassing you at work?”

“I hereby give you permission to harass me as much as you want on a daily basis. I will welcome it.”

After that first date, you and Five couldn’t get enough of one another. It was like just being in the same building with him set your body on fire. You would find yourself staring off, lost in a daydream about what his mouth felt like and then someone would clear their throat or say your name, and you’d realize they had been talking to you without you noticing.

Obviously, everyone knew that something was going between you two. You hadn’t exactly spread the word, but you also hadn’t denied it. You didn’t really care what anyone thought, anyway. The only problem was, there was a strict policy of no relationships between case managers and field agents in place. This was done to protect the agents, and to avoid any favoritism with assignments. A few casual flings here and there were overlooked, but serious relationships were usually squashed. Not that you would describe what you had as serious. Yet, anyway.

You did love spending time with one another, even without the sex. You even made Five join you at lunch with your usual group, much to the shock of your friends. It was awkward at first, but when Five cracked a very dry and cutting joke about someone in upper management, the table went silent for a second before bursting into laughter. He looked at you in surprise, like he couldn’t believe he was having this type of positive social interaction. You just smiled and shrugged, mouthing “I told you so”.

Despite the fact that you spent a lot of time together outside of work, that didn’t stop either of you from taking advantage of your proximity at the Commission. You had lost count of the number of times you two had stolen away somewhere in the building for a quickie during the day. With Five’s status plus his convenient teleportation powers, you could hide anywhere you could think of that would give you at least a few minutes of privacy.

You would be sitting there, attempting to work on a case, when Five would come strolling in. Just the sight of him striding into the room, all confident and sexy with that tiny smirk on his face, made you want to jump on top of him. He would approach you with some made up problem he had and ask you to go with him so you could help straighten it out. It was pretty apparent what was going on, and your coworkers would exchange glances around you, but you didn’t care.

Once you were safely down the hallway, Five would grab you and blink you into some abandoned storage room where you were immediately attacked. You had told him to stop being so aggressive while at work, because the hickeys he was leaving on your neck were clearly visible. But that didn’t stop him from shoving you against a table or a wall, all while kissing you fervently and telling you how much he wanted you in that deep, growling voice of his.

Dropping to his knees to eat you out while kneading the flesh of your ass. Spinning you around to bend you over a table before fingering you and then fucking you from behind. Biting and sucking at your tits and stomach, leaving marks that would be hidden by your clothes, but were still a reminder of who you belonged to. All of it was expertly done, as only Five could do, and you couldn’t get enough.

The servicing wasn’t a one-way street, though. You liked to flip the tables sometimes and push him against the wall, sliding slowly down his body until you were kneeling in front of him, hands already clawing at his belt and zipper while you called him Daddy. When you would take all of him into your mouth, he would hiss through his teeth and groan loudly, his hand resting in your hair while he praised you for being good for him. He wanted you to look at him while you sucked him off, and tell you to finger yourself while you did it. You’d be choking on his dick, a hand shoved into your panties, and both of you moaning until you came; all while the throngs of Commission employees were passing by right outside the door.

It was quickly becoming apparent that your relationship was evolving into something more. You were starting to spend more nights together, sleeping in one another’s beds, curled up together and waking up happy in the morning, just to be near each other. Five loved cuddling up with you, pulling your soft body close against his, and nuzzling into your neck or hair. He told you how happy you made him and thanked you for pulling him out of his shell. He’d idly stroke your arms and thighs while you would lie together in the dark, just talking quietly. In the morning, he’d trace patterns over the white, jagged lines that criss crossed your abdomen and hips, reminding you how beautiful you were as the sunlight spilled across your bed.

Your feelings for Five were starting to seep into your everyday routines and the work you normally prided yourself on. You found yourself worrying about every assignment he went on, even though you knew he was a professional and could handle it.

After a while, the cases you started assigning him got easier and easier, whereas before you would have given him the most difficult and dangerous ones. He finally called you out on it when he received a total rookie assignment while another agent that was not nearly as skilled received a much more complicated one.

He sat on the corner of your desk, a smug grin on his face, as he dropped the file in front of you.

“What the hell is this?” he asked you, still smiling.

You glanced down at the file, then back at him. “What do you mean?”

He tapped the file with his finger. “This garbage. It’s a case for a newbie. Hell, you could probably hand this to any random person off the street and they could do it. So what’s going on?”

You sighed, crossing your arms over your chest and frowning. “Maybe I thought you just needed a break, that’s all.”

He studied your face and shook his head. “No, that’s not it. Every case I get from you these days is getting simpler and simpler. I just haven’t said anything until now. Are you losing faith in my abilities, is that it?”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. “Of course not! It’s just, you know…” Your voice trailed off and your eyes flitted away from his.

“No, I don’t know. Tell me.”

With a heavy sigh, you dropped your hands onto the desk in front of you, looking up at him. “Fine. I’m scared to give you anything complicated because I’m afraid something will happen to you. And I don’t really want my boyfriend being gunned down or stabbed or beaten all to shit, ok? Especially not in another timeline where you might not even be able to come back.”

Five took a second to absorb that information, then he looked down with a smile. “You really worry about me?”

“Yes, I worry about you. Is that so bad? You might not be as amazing as you think you are. You’re not infallible, you know.”

Five made a face like he hadn’t actually considered that before, which was mildly infuriating, and then he looked at you with that gentle smile of his that you knew he saved only for you. He leaned in and gave you a quick but tender kiss full on the mouth, even though you were still in a roomful of people that could see. When he pulled away, you felt your face flush, but not from embarrassment.

“Thank you,” he whispered earnestly.

Then he flashed you that arrogant smirk again, the dimple on his cheek deepening, before snatching a much thicker file off your desk, and blinking away without another word.

It was only a matter of time, you supposed, before Corporate caught wind of your relationship. Especially when you were making erratic decisions with your cases lately. Both you and Five received a notice from senior management requesting a meeting. You were a mess of anxiety and nerves when the time came. Your career was important to you, and it was not in your nature to just throw that away for some man. But Five wasn’t just any man, was he? If you were going to have to choose between your job and your relationship with him, you had no idea what you were going to do.

Sitting in front of the executive’s desk, your leg bounced up and down with nerves as you waited for Five to join you. When he arrived, he had the absolute audacity to look calm and unbothered as he sat down in the chair next to you. He greeted the manager and then turned to give you a wink and a small smile. You really had no idea how he could be this nonchalant. Maybe he didn’t care if you had to end things.

“As I’m sure you know, the reason you two have been called here today is –”

Five cut your manager off mid sentence. “Yes, we are fully aware. According to section 64, subsection D of the Commission Code of Conduct, we are prohibited from being in a romantic relationship with one another.”

The executive paused. “Well, yes, that’s correct. And so –”

“And so you have to inform us that we either have to end our relationship or resign from our positions.”

There was another moment of perplexed silence from across the desk. “Uh, yes…”

“But that is only because of the current departments we work for, due to conflicting interests, correct?” Five continued.

“That is correct, yes. But—”

“So, if we move to the same department, that shouldn’t be an issue?”

“Well…yes…I suppose…”

You looked at Five, completely confused. “Five, what are you doing? You don’t want to work in case management. I know you don’t.”

He nodded. “You’re right. But you can train to become a field agent.”

Your mouth hung open. “What?”

“You’ve only mentioned that you were interested in being out in the field about 50 times, so why not? They can always use more agents,” he turned to the manager, “Isn’t that right?”

The man cleared his throat. “Oh. Well, yes, that’s true.”

Five nodded again, as if that explained everything. “Alright then, so move her to my department. She has the determination and skill. And you have my official recommendation, which as you know, holds a lot of weight around here.”

There was another look of bewilderment in your direction. “Yes, Mr. Hargreeves, that’s true. I suppose we could do that—”

Five stood up with a smile. “Great! It’s all settled then.” He turned to you, still sitting in your chair and trying to make sense of all of this.

What he had said was true. You had told Five many times that you wished you could have his job. But you figured that was outside of your skill set. Five didn’t seem to agree. He knew you were highly intelligent, strong, and had the right personality. You just needed the proper training.

He reached out a hand to pull you up. “Is this all ok with you, darling? Do you have anything to add?”

You shook your head slowly. “Uh, no…I mean, yes…I mean, yes I’m ok with it and I don’t have anything else to add.”

“Great!” Five turned to the manager. “Just send me the paperwork we need to fill out and we can call it good.”

The manager shook each of your hands and it appeared that the meeting was over before it began. Five guided you towards the door with a hand on your back. You looked over your shoulder, still unsure of what exactly just happened, but you let him push you outside into the hall.

“What the fuck, Five?” you demanded, hands on your hips. “You want to tell me what is happening right now?”

“It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? They weren’t going to let us keep dating if we were working in our current departments, so one of us had to move. And I know this is what you really wanted.”

You thought for a moment. “So…you didn’t think of breaking up with me just to keep things the same?”

His mouth dropped open and then he snapped it shut again, his brows furrowing and creating deep creases between his eyes. “No. Of course not.” He took a few steps closer to you and took your face gently into his hands, gazing into your eyes. “I love you.”

You drew in a sharp breath. “What?”

“I love you,” he repeated, this time with a smile.

You answered him, your own grin spreading slowly across your face. “Say that again.”

Five laughed, leaning down to kiss you and you hugged him around his waist. “I love you,” he said again after breaking away.

“I love you too, Five. I don’t know if I realized it until just now, but I do. I love you so much.”

Five nodded. “Well, that’s a relief. Because I would have looked like a giant asshole if I did all that and you shot me down.”

Laughing, you reached up for another kiss that quickly turned very heated. When you pulled away, Five was breathing hard and he tugged your body harder against his.

“There’s an empty room down the hallway over there,” he said suggestively.

You shook your head. “Sorry, honey, but we have to get to work. I have a lot of training to start on.”

“I think you forget who your new boss is,” he said in that serious tone of his.

Five pulled you in tightly again, kissing you hard on the mouth and flattened you against the wall. His hand roamed down to your chest and he gave your breast a small squeeze while pressing his knee in between your legs. When he heard you moan softly into his mouth, he backed away with a grin.

“You know, I can report you to HR for sexual harassment,” you said with a crooked smile, even though you were having a hard time controlling your heart rate.

“It’s not harassment if you like it,” he shot back before giving you a loud smack on the ass.

Then he turned around and walked away, leaving you flustered and hot; but also with that amazing feeling in the pit of your stomach from knowing you had found the perfect person to love and that loved you just as much in return.

[mrabubu]

/the ref is a bit old, but the info is mostly accurate/

So, I did kinda sketch ref for my Kraang character and make her more of a person, or something, with a name and all. I'm still going to use they/them pronounce and Y/N when people will be asking something about Krangified AU.

More information about her below.

So, her name is Ana now.

About her personality before she was turned into the Kraang zombie I still can't say much at the moment (because I'm mostly focused on their interactions in the present timeline), except for her being the person who was genuinely worried about Leo and what's been going on in his head. She saw his attitude and for her it was obvious it was mostly a facade to hide his real emotions and wanted to help him, being a shoulder to lean on. I see her being the weirdo to others that found his jokes actually funny.

After Kraangification, I can describe her with one word: DEPRESSION. I mean, you've been a mindless zombie for about 10 years that practically flashed before your eyes. You wake up facing the facts that the world has been at war with the Kraang for all this time, everyone you knew grew up, your family is long gone, your boyfriend been through hell and lost his arm, and, yeah, your still kinda a zombie also facing some self-control issues. Your Kraang half is taking control over you from time to time, attacking others and even friends if provoked. Not to mention that a lot of things that used to be casual to you are now something you need to learn to be used to again, like bed or actual food. Yeah and also that little inconvenience that she has to eat people now.

She's been dozing off a lot at first, after Leo got her to their base, just staring at one point, processing the whole situation and still feeling like it's just a very long nightmare. And only Leo could snap her out of this state at least for a short amount of time.

When I've been making first sketches with her I gave her this pointed ear and horn like Kraang appendage on her forehead, and thought this kinda reminded of oni's (demons) from Japanese folklore, which kinda resonated with this whole Kraang AU concept.

I also can't stop thinking about Beauty and the Beast (original Disney animated movie) concept, only with them swapping roles in contrast to the original story.

I really like the concept of the turtles being able to make this chirping and churring sounds, and thought, why can't she make something like this? So, yeah, she can churp and purr (I don't know if there's a difference between churring and purring, still didn't understand, and this churring sound is still mostly fictional, fanon thing..? but, anyway). I like this idea of Leo and Ana being able to communicate with the language only they (and other turtles) understand.

A few more sketches with her and a couple of scenes.

Her claws on the Kraang arm can extend. I thought about her being able to shapeshift her arm further, but for now it's either extended claws, or something like a sword or some other sharp pointy thing...

I've been thinking about her fighting style, and for a reference I used the The Witcher 3 again (yeah) There's a vampire species, Bruxa and Alp, and I'm thinking her fighting style would be something like of an Alp. Fast and agile, also pretty strong (tho still not strong enough to take out big enemies like the Kraang in their suits).

I have this scene in my head that I actually been sketching already, where she's fighting the Kraang hounds, and pretty much able to lift one grabbing it by it's throat and throwing it into the tree like a rag doll.

Another thing is her screech she uses to intimidate/immobilize her enemies. It's also more of an alp than bruxa, especially in this video time code 00:36, this is pretty much how I imagine it.

I also know that I've messed up her eyes when she's in her Kraang mode, because they should be turning purple, like Raph's left eye that wasn't covered by Kraang flesh, but, uuuh, I don't want to change that at this point...

I think that's it for now...? If I'll have more ideas I'll either be making other posts, or updating this one.

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

SP Sports Headcanons because why the fuck not

I was rambling to this about @m4rz1t0ne and decided I'm just gonna make a whole post about it because why the hell not. Most of these are gonna tie into what we already know about the characters but I was having some fun playing around especially with Kenny's for projection reasons so let's start with him.

Kenny

Given (gestures at all of Mysterion) and various other canon instances where Kenny has shown skill/talent in strength and agility, I feel like Kenny definitely would participate in some kind of sport. Not only that, but socializing seems to be his outlet for everyday stress (even if he often stays quiet in social groups), so I think he'd naturally wind up in a crowd where they do something sporty/exercise together. However; I don't see Kenny joining a team or be disciplined into a sport by classes or a club. Other than the fact that classes can simply be super expensive, I feel like Kenny is someone who'd appreciate flexibility and spontaneity in his schedule, given how unpredictable his day to day life is.

Considering how adaptive he is, he'd end up in the most random crowds and learn stuff from other people, and thus I think the most fitting types of sports for him are Street Sports. Particularly Parkour and Breakdancing (yes, dancing is a sport. especially Breaking.) because they're very accessible, since they don't require any equipment or special environment, unlike Skating sometimes does. Perhaps he'd do Calisthenics as well, depending on if he has a fitting space to practice. The Pandemic duology (s12, ep10-11) as well as his opera singer arc in Quintuplets 2000 (s4 ep4) convinced me he is a music enthusiast so I definitely see him enjoying dancing and getting immersed in Hip Hop culture (see Noreen's post for more elaboration). Maybe he'd get into other Street Dance Styles too, just all around finding community among other working class people like him.

@kennytheworkingclasshero

Kyle

Kyle might be the one most intrinsically motivated and ambitious out of the main characters when it comes to sports (yeah sorry this is about Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina). More so than Stan if I may argue, who seems to have more extrinsic motivations like approval and validation. I see Kyle enjoying mostly team sports, canonically Basketball and American Football, but I'm pretty sure he's also a Soccer guy (at the very least socially) and I definitely see him playing Tennis. All around ball sports seem to be his thing, and I can see him want to pursue any of his current sports interests disciplinarily. I'm sure Mr. and Mrs. Broflovski would put him in any kind of classes if he expressed interest, given that they can afford it and because it's healthy to regularly exercise, so I imagine they'd like to encourage that.

Other than that, I feel like Kyle would also join the Track & Fields (athletics) team at school at some point. He definitely seems like the guy to have a gym membership and actually actively use it, especially to blow off steam (lord knows he needs it sometimes. understandably), or go for a run occasionally for the same reason. I don't really see him as a boxer, but I'm sure he'd buy boxing gloves and regularly use a punching bag to get out his frustrations if given the chance.

Stan

So we know Stan was the "star player on the football team" in Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride (s1 ep4), but that hasn't really been touched up on again in more recent seasons. Apart from that, the encouragement Stan received from the entire town and the ease with which he flaked from the game to look for his dog instead lead me to believe that most of the reason Stan would actively be on a sports team would come from external validation rather than genuine interest. That isn't to say he can't be sporty; he definitely is a hobby ball sports player, we see him managing the Football team on the playground in Raisins (s7 ep14) and he plays Basketball on occasion with his friends-- but I feel like that's it. He'll play team sports for fun, for camaraderie and because he has a knack for leadership, but other than that, he gives me strong vibes of someone who has a gym membership and DOESN'T use it. He'll choose to sit down and write a song, play on his guitar, get together with his band or other people to jam, play board or video games all day or even watch a Denver Nuggets game before he'd spend his free time willingly exercising.

Keep him away from gym memberships because he'll just blow away his money. Give him a couple friends he'll go out to play basketball and football with every now and then, instead.

Cartman

Well. Like Stan, he is a hobby playground team sports player at most-- we've seen this often enough-- and I'm pretty sure he mostly enjoys this because he can rub his victories in his opponents' faces, or be team captain and order everyone around (like we saw him reprimand Craig briefly in Breast Cancer Show Ever (s12 ep9) while they were playing football) but I feel like his interests don't really lie too much in truly improving his skills. I do see him getting into Boxing or Kickboxing, or maybe Karate for the coolness factor or maybe other Martial Arts, because I'm sure he'd love to be good at kicking ass. But I feel like he's the kid who begs, yells at and convinces his mom to sign him up for a class, then be sick of it by the third session and yell at his mom for making him go. He'd also whine whenever he has to take a hit and threaten to sue his sparring partner for grievous bodily harm, before he sneaks up with an unfair move and knocks them on the ground much harder than necessary.

But I believe he does enjoy watching sports a lot, and get unnecessarily aggressive over his current favorite team (it changes every week). Bro probably does know his shit about all the NBA and NFL tea, and he goes crazy during soccer world championships depending on how the American team is doing. Are they winning? America4ever, suck it losers. They're losing? Watching the soccer world championship is for fags anyway, and he'll tell you that every day at least five times, unprompted. He probably also plays a shit ton of FIFA and mansplains the details of the sport to Kyle which pisses him the fuck off because Kyle ACTUALLY knows his shit about soccer from personal experience. (thank you, @m4rz1t0ne)

Butters

So in Sarcastaball (s16 ep8) Stan so graciously said:

"You don't suck at football, Butters, you suck at all sports."

Which, well. I'm not gonna argue that Butters is clumsy (he trips over his own cape in The C**n (s13 ep2)), and-- if we may accept this as canon-- probably has a hard time with ball sports because of his fucked up left eye & consequently lack of proper 3D vision. This rules him out as a fit player for almost every playground sport-- basketball, football, soccer, dodgeball; making Stan's conclusion that he "sucks at all sports" a valid conclusion to draw from the narrow worldview of a typical boy. However, which sport HAVE we seen Butters continuously enjoy and excel at?

Dancing.

I swear to fucking God. Put this boy in an Allstyle dance community NOW. I'm talking Hip Hop, Tap (he was in the state championchips for fucks sake), Popping, Ladystyle, idc BALLET. He'd enjoy ballet, let him dance ballet. I need an AU where Butters is put into the toxic ass Ballet industry by his parents since very young and while he enjoys the dance he's constantly immensely pressured in ways no one sees except for the stage light technician Kenny McCormick who got the job hoping to make some extra cash and they fall in love and it distracts Butters from his training .

Anyway. Butters may not be one for traditionally masculine boyhood experience playground sports, but you'd bet your ass he'd excel on the dance floor. But he's canonically also one for one of the most fancy, sophisticated and classist ass sports on the fucking planet: Equestrianism.

I don't think I need to say more, this is just canon information. I guess this is just me trying to put together a compilation to prove to Stan that Butters DOESN'T suck at all sports. He may not be the most coordinated, but you bet your ass that when there's music or a horse involved he can learn to be the most graceful creature on the planet. Even if he flings his shoe at the ceiling and kill 8 people in the process.

[laro80]

THE DAY I MET YOU || Sakura x Reader

(Part 1/?) || Short fanfic

You were standing on one of the busiest streets in the city, surrounded by cafés, local shops, and supermarkets buzzing with life.

Like every day, you were playing your guitar in front of passersby. A small crowd —maybe seven or nine people— had gathered, enjoying the songs you passionately performed, while others walking by dropped coins or bills into the open guitar case at your feet.

Fifty minutes had already gone by. Wow! Surprising, right? Normally, you couldn’t stay there for even half an hour before being interrupted—

“Hey! Get out of here!”

“Agh—! Shit!”

Your stomach dropped. You didn’t even have to look to know who it was.

One of the nearby shop owners stormed out, clearly furious. Without missing a beat, you packed up your guitar at record speed, slung it over your back, and grabbed the mini amplifier by the strap.

More voices followed. The yelling had drawn attention, and now a few more shopkeepers were poking their heads out to see what was going on. It didn’t take long before they recognized you.

“You again?!”

“That’s enough! Stop right there!”

They yelled angrily, but in the end, none of them chased after you. After all, you were just a high school student full of energy, unlike the elderly shopkeepers who couldn't hope to keep up.

You laughed and stuck your tongue out at them playfully. They never managed to catch you, and the annoyed looks on their faces only made you laugh harder.

As you ran, you passed a fruit stand and, without thinking twice, grabbed an apple mid-sprint. The vendor —a woman— stepped out just in time to catch you.

“Hey! Are you kidding me?!”

You could hear her yelling behind you, but you were already a block away. You laughed again, took a big bite of the apple, and didn’t slow down.

You weren’t looking where you were going when —bam— you bumped shoulders with someone.

Your eyes met his for a second. He looked surprised. So did you.

You twisted slightly as you ran, flashing an apologetic smile over your shoulder.

“Sorry!” you called out. But when you got a good look at him, your eyebrows rose in surprise—he had striking half-white, half-black hair. Unusual. Kinda cool. But you couldn't stop. You turned and kept running.

The boy, however, stood still, looking confused. It wasn’t every day you saw someone running with such agility, carrying a large instrument and an amp. He assumed you were running from something —or someone— but the shouting was no longer audible, so he never got the full story.

Not that he was too worried. You had a mischievous, playful grin on your face. Nobody would’ve guessed you were in real trouble.

Then he looked down and noticed something on the ground: a guitar pick.

It took him a second to recognize it. He crouched down, picked it up, turned it over in his fingers. No doubt — it was yours.

But you were long gone.

His phone buzzed. Normally, he ignored notifications, but he was on his way to meet his friends, so he checked in case anything had changed.

Nire: hiragi-san said ppl been complainin abt some girl playin music on the street n the shop owners r pissed

Nire: she keeps changin spots even tho she knows she's not rlly welcome n she doesn’t even hv a permit

Suo: They told us so we’d know how to handle it tomorrow. We’re not supposed to cause trouble — just try to talk to her. It’s not like she’s harming anyone.

Kiryu: ayy old ppl always overreactin, but w/e lol :(

Kiryu: bet she plays rlly pretty songs tho 💕

Tsugeura: what kinda music u think she plays?? 👀

The half-albino boy, Sakura Haruka, stood there processing the information. He looked thoughtful in the middle of the street, his brows slightly furrowed.

Your face had already popped into his mind.

He started typing, planning to ask more about the girl — if anyone knew what instrument she played. But before he could finish the message, his friends had already changed topics. As expected.

Annoyed, he shut off his phone.

Why the hell did they text so fast?

If you are interested and like my art, follow me on my IG: @/laro_80_

[eldritchcreatureofwords]

People do not talk about TruthSeekers enough

Specifically the end fight. Not only is this some of the most gorgeous fucking animation I've ever seen, not only is the use of character's leitmotifs as a combined theme brilliant and clever, but the interactions between everyone and everyone and Blitz is just fucking fantastic.

Mox and Blitz of one fucking mind at the start. Blitz talking to everyone but twisted to look Moxxie dead in the eye when he yells fuck these fuckers UP and Moxx getting him instantly.

Loona protecting her dad, Blitz not even twitching when the chain blade is hurled at him because he knows it's not going to touch him. Her using her mouth as much as her hands if not more to wreck havoc.

Millie's sheer glee at getting to kick ass and take names, as if it's all a big game, not even having to break a sweat. The fact that she never stops being sweet and affectionate and silly even in the middle of this nonsense because she's still a little doll of a woman, but you started this shit and she's going to finish it. You fucked with her Moxxie and her Blitz. The fact that she uses an axe as big as she is and just lets it's momentum carry her around, throwing herself from one person to the next.

Moxxie's mob-kid little psychotic violent side getting to shine- the silly, goofy, shy little awkward buttmonkey reminding everyone why he's here and that he is just as capable as everyone else, thank you, with this feral gremlin streak just barely under the surface of his musical-loving, well spoken, well educated presentation.

Blitz's evil fucking laugh when he fires the "Pussy Destroyer" ( which made me laugh way too hard myself.)

The way Blitz scuttles across the fight interacting with his team, stopping at each and every person to make sure they are armed, they are doing well, backing them up and cheering them on, before blitzing (hahaha) off to have his own fun with these stupid little human fuckers. It's our first real look at how capable and deadly this silly, filthy little gay nerd is- he's agile, fast as fuck, vicious as hell, and strong. Guy used to be in the circus ok?

(Also the way he scrambles over and around Loona mid-fight which I adore.)

And what I consider to be the best (and maybe most important part)

the 'Mox, cover me!' moment.

These two are back-to-back, in the middle of a heated life-or-death fight, and not only does Blitz know roughly when they'll have to reload, he goes digging in his backpack fearlessly despite danger surrounding him and Moxxie firing just above his head, fully trusting Moxxie not to miss, to- well, cover him. On top of that, these two then perform not one but two blind weapon handoffs, swap to melee in almost perfect unison, and agree, wordlessly, when to split.

And the grins on the face of everyone (except poor Moxxie) when it's over, a moment of victory and connection.

Not even getting into the protective arms Blitz puts out across his team when it seems like they are cornered and trapped, teeth bared, ready to pounce, to use claw and teeth to defend them if he has to, if that's what it takes.

Not even getting into the fact that when Stolas first appears to save them, their shadows combine to make his, turning the four of them into one being just for a moment to make something significantly more powerful.

Not to mention the way reality seems to reassert itself as soon as the lights come back on, just the way it does when you wake up from a nightmare.

This got long fast and I'm sorry, but this scene just has so much character introspection, development, and explanation with barely a spoken word and I love it.

[theradioghost]

Actually I need to post about this because I need people to feel my pain/disgust/terror/indescribable but distinctly negative emotion which I am feeling.

(Life reconstruction by UnexpectedDinoLesson.)

This is Deinocheirus mirificus. It is my favorite dinosaur, and it is weird as fuck. Bigger than a T. rex, with arms eight feet long; an omnivore (afaik the only confirmed omnivorous dinosaur) that fed on plants and fish despite being a member of an ancestrally meat-eating lineage; likely feathered on at least part of its body despite its enormous size, topped off with an enormous sail or hump, and with a lengthy toothless bill. For fifty years all we knew was those bigass arms, which were enough to identify it as an ornithomimosaur, a group most famous for their similarity to ostriches. Except that, obviously, it was enormous. Then in 2014 came the end of a dramatic story of fossil poaching, international smuggling, and miraculous recovery resulting in two fantastic specimens which revealed to us that Deinocheirus is even weirder than just a giant ornithomimosaur. I saw someone call it a "moose goose" one time and I have never looked back.

I've got these two models of it and I enjoy them greatly :)

(Life reconstruction by PaleoNeolitic.)

This is Therizinosaurus cheloniformis. It is my younger sibling's favorite dinosaur, and it is weird as fuck. At thirty feet long, it is of a similar size to Deinocheirus, but taller due to its bizarre posture -- long-necked, pot-bellied, and tipped upright like an old-fashioned dinosaur toy. It is also likely to have been partly feathered, and was first discovered in the form of a set of massive claws (the largest known from literally any living thing, so large that they were originally classified as the ribs of a giant turtle) later supplemented by some proportionately large limbs. While Therizinosaurus has not been blessed with a full skeleton, we have discovered remains of quite a few other therizinosaurs, its closest relatives, which allow us to fill in the gaps. This includes a full skull from Erlikosaurus, showing that they had a birdlike keratinous beak at the front of their head and teeth further back in the mouth! (Some very early relatives may have been beakless. Also, please believe me about the beak, Tumblr image quality is hell on that lovely art; I recommend clicking through to better see the difference from the Deinocheirus beak.) Therizinosaurus is not in fact a turtle, but a maniraptoran -- the group of theropod dinosaurs which includes all modern birds as well as the dromaeosaurs, the little agile hunters often called "raptors." And yet! It was also an herbivore, using its big ol gut to ferment plant matter. I often see people call them dinosaur versions of giant sloths.

My sibling does have a model of it but we couldn't find it to take a picture :(

(I do also think that this skeletal comparison (which seems to originate from this forum thread) gives a better idea of the differences in shape and posture and internal anatomy between them than just looking at those reconstructions on their own. They really are quite different except for all the ways in which they are alike.)

(... Anyway.)

"Wow, Bobbie," you might think. "That's an amazing array of similarities for two dinosaurs that were not actually very closely related."

And I say, "You have no idea, for these two giant big-armed plant-eating weird-shaped descendants of meat-eating hunters lived in the exact same place and time!"

Which is the only fucking explanation I can give for why the toy company Recur has produced a Therizinosaurus with a Deinocheirus's head.

The website I found selling this claims that it is a "100% original design." I can't disagree with that, it is in fact maybe too original. It also says it has "museum-level detail" and unless the museum in question exists in the 1800s I can't give that one the same pass. This genuinely horrifies me. There are no shortage of dinosaur toys out there which deliberately mash together elements of different species but there is a world of difference between the silly fun of a Triceratops/Stegosaurus mutant with robot armor and battle damage!!!! and this understated, realistic-style figure of an animal THAT HAS A DIFFERENT ANIMAL'S HEAD STUCK TO IT.

Please understand, I look at these two animals a lot, I love them both, and this is like if someone was selling a toy "rhino" that just ... had a horse's head. Or the other way around. And they were marketing it based on its detail and accuracy to real rhino anatomy. I excitedly clicked on this while browsing, thinking there was a new Deinocheirus to add to my collection, and then I genuinely spent several minutes reading item descriptions in abject confusion before I realized what this was. Their other figures are actually really good and I'd kill to get my hands on their T. rex! And then there's ... this thing? Why?

[zzthekaiju]

THE GREAT MONSTER HUNTER RANKING! Part 4

For this part, we get to what have been referred to as rites of passage for up and coming hunters. The definitive Wyverns of this world. The Flying Wyverns. They are, for the most part, what you might think of when you hear "wyvern". Big draconic beasts with big wings and occasionally the ability to breathe fire.

But for this ranking part, we're going to skip a generation for a bit. You see, the second generation split the Flying Wyverns into two groups. The True Flying Wyverns, and the Pseudo Flying Wyverns, the latter of which we will look at right now. They're "flyers" that don't do a lot of flying. They look like they could, but they either can't or just choose not to most of the time, instead going for a more terrestrial lifestyle. That doesn't make them any less powerful. If anything, some are way stronger than their flying counterparts...

The Pseudo Flying Wyverns:

"He screm."

We start with one Hell of a monster. Tigrex is exactly what its title implies: A T-Rex with stripes like a tiger and it's also a ground-dwelling wyvern. I can appreciate it for how in-your-face badass its concept is. I particularly like how they keep animating its signature move, which is just it charging at you again and again. Something about the way its forelimbs SLAM into the ground with each step as it barrels at you at full speed and ready to bite/spin around scratches an itch in my head. But its OTHER signature move deserves attention, too. It can roar so loudly that anyone close to it gets immediately damaged. The only thing that brings it down for me a bit is that fighting this lightning bruiser...isn't always that fun. Most of the fight I feel is spent running for your life while getting tossed around by almost every attack. Still, it's a fight that can be won with enough effort, and I can understand why this thing's nickname is "Absolute Power". 7.5/10.

"Hey, I don't remember this part of 'The Jungle Book'!"

Nargacuga is like the Tigrex, except it traded its raw strength for pure finesse and agility. It's already a fun concept, being a panther/dragon/parrot beast that's also a ninja/shinobi, but then there's its fighting style. Narg strikes fast with its blade-like wings, spike-like scales on its barbed tail (that it can fire from a distance, no less), and of course, some charging. Also, its eyes glow red whenever it gets enraged. There's a lot to like here, and I dare say Narg's a lot more interesting (and less of a chore to fight) than Tigrex. AND it got one of the better theme music glow-ups in Rise. Those vocals go a long way. 8.5/10.

"Joe vs. the Volcano 2: The Volcano is Alive Now"

The generation that gave us Pseudo Flying Wyverns threw in a positively absurd monkey wrench in the works with two HUGE additions similar in build/power, but very different in locale. Yes, this monstrous tusked titan known as the Akantor is a "Flying Wyvern", despite not even having anything close to wings for arms! It's kind of frustrating, really. I mean, this beast and his frosty foil (we'll get to him next) have power comparable to Elder Dragons, so what made them chicken out?!

Well, maybe it could fly at some point before evolution stepped in. But for now, this guy okay. He's trying a little too hard to be cool, and those tusks are kind of distracting for me. But he's got the size and cool armored hide to make up for it. Also, he's got a bit in common with the Tigrex with his preference for charge attacks, and even having a roar so loud it acts as a sort of concentrated beam of sound that can spell doom for long-range hunters. I can see why people call this thing the Black God. 7/10.

"Ladies and gentlemen...Shovel Chin."

Akantor is the demonic beast of fire. Ukanlos is the ethereal being of ice. That being said, while Akantor has those big tusks as a rather distracting aspect for me, the Ukanlos has a chin almost perfectly shaped like a spade. Despite this, I vibe with the snow beast a bit more. There's something surprisingly satisfying how it doesn't need so many bells and whistles all over its body compared to the fire guy, and it's got some cool ice powers on top of being so huge (and yes, it too can hurt people with its roar). Also, its theme music is superior to that of its counterpart. The way it begins sends chills (HA!) every time. 7.5/10.

"Can't make heads or tails of this abomination."

There's a True Flying Wyvern that came before this one, and to this day, no one can tell if it's more disturbing than the Gigginox. How this thing isn't more popular in the community is a mystery to me. Yeah sure, it's not a sight for sore eyes, but it's just so unique! It's got the crawling abilities of a gecko, cool glowing purple eyes adorned with white markings, and at each end is a mouth like a leech, with the posterior mouth constantly laying eggs that hatch into smaller blood-sucking Gigi. Okay, all of that sounds a little disgusting, especially since this creature can swallow you whole while producing poison, but it's the kind of disgusting that segues into weirdness you can't take your eyes off of. Less Khezu and more Gigginox, please! 8/10.

"Huh, 'Ice Age 10' veered off into an unexpected direction."

The Barioth exists to remind me what I love so much about this franchise. The wholesale embracing of prehistory to create new and unique monsters to terrorize the player. In this case, the inspiration should be pretty obvious. It's a Smilodon-dragon! With sabres colored like amber! And it's just as nimble as the Nargacuga it's related to. I also love the way its armor is designed, with that spiked tail and those spiked wings (which help it maintain balance on the ground) and man is this thing cool or what?! Plus, it can summon blizzard tornadoes. It's almost absurd how much this cat dragon kicks ass. 8.5/10.

NOW, we can get to the meat of this part. The flyers that actually, you know, fly for more than five seconds at best.

The True Flying Wyverns:

"Malewife and girlboss, together at last."

Ah, the mascot of the entire franchise, the Rathalos. And his female counterpart, the Rathian. I put them together because they're basically the same breed, just with some very noticeable sexual dimorphism.

I must say, there's a reason the red guy is the face of these games. It's imposing, it's vibrant, and it gives you a good idea of the majority of beasts you'll be up against. For me, the most striking aspect of this monster is the black markings on its wings that almost look like some sort of tribal paint. It evokes the image of a great warrior, at least in my opinion.

Rathian is a more land-based fighter, though she can very much fly. Anyone who's played one or two of the games can tell you about her infamous "fitness grand pacer test" move, in which she charges, pauses, and charges again, rinse wash and repeat. But like her mate, she likes to use poison, and lots of it. Her design has a few noticeable differences. She traded the wing patterns for a spike-goatee and sharp protofeathers on her body. That's neat!

All in all, I feel that these two shouldn't be talked about separately. They're a package that feels incomplete without one or the other. Rathalos rules the skies while rearing the kids, Rathian patrols the land for food and intruders. It's great! 8/10.

"This is the best theme music ever!"

Remember the Gigginox from earlier? Yeah, meet its more popular predecessor. The Khezu is infamous for being one of the most unsettling monsters, nay, THINGS, to come from this franchise. Its skin is pale and at times looks like exposed flesh, its extendable neck terminates in an eyeless mouth like a lamprey's, and it can crawl on walls while utilizing electrical powers. But if you want my honest opinion, this thing is at its most unsettling when it doesn't open its mouth. Its lips are curved in just the right way that it looks to have an unsettling smile on its face at all times (though it's maybe a little cute when it starts to sniff around). Oh, and there's no music when you fight it. Just the eerie silence occasionally broken by its alarmingly wrathful roar. Altogether, it's a memorable one, but not necessarily because you want to be around it for very long. 7/10.

(And YES, I know what its head looks like. NO, you don't have to tell me!)

"Notice me...please..."

I recall saying that absence makes the heart go yonder when it comes to monsters getting their reappearances stalled. The Monoblos is a special case, in which it hasn't come back precisely because there's something out there that can do its job but better. And that sucks because it's by no means a bad monster. It's a great monster! The concept of using Ceratopsians as the basis for monsters is a brilliant one. And this guy got a really unique basis in the form of the one-horned Styracosaurus. It's also got a club like an Ankylosaur for good measure. And while it's called a Flying Wyvern and even looks the part, it prefers to fly through the sand and attack foes from below. A neat monster, for sure! 7/10.

"Temper-ceratops"

The monster that kicked Monoblos to the side is its harder, more savage relative. The Diablos. That name is already awesome, but there's more to this guy than that. It has the same body build as the Mono, albeit its head is that of a sharp-toothed Triceratops, and its club is way bulkier. And the funny thing is, despite having all those sharp teeth, it feasts on nothing more than cacti. Raw cacti. A tough-as-nails meal for a tough-as-nails beast. What make the Diablos so notable for me isn't its looks, but its roar. This guy has my favorite roar in the entire franchise for how much wrath and ferocity it conveys in a unique way. Other than that, like its predecessor, it's a mostly standard bullfight boss with a design that certainly doesn't pound sand (though it can very much do that).

NOW, usually I don't talk about Subspecies/Variants/Deviants or whatever. I see them as mostly just reskins/recolors that are occasionally fun to fight. It's just that Diablos has a particular Deviant that stands out compared to the rest (the Black variant is just a female going into violent heat, which is still interesting).

This edgelord mistake of nature is the Bloodbath Diablos (or it's way better Japanese title, the Massacre Demon Diablos). It got that way because of, I kid you not, a lousy childhood. When Diablos are juveniles, losing a horn so early is a death sentence. But such a thing can only happen if a human hunter does it. Should a Diablos survive this, it has the chance to let its rage and violent hatred of humans completely take over, malforming its healed horn and empowering it to the point where its body can superheat and create steam with enough fury. Those blue highlights? That's dried-up blood from its near-mindless rampages. And it'll add more to itself the moment it even suspects that humans are nearby, taking them out with a much more fast-paced and psychotic take on the typical Diablos fighting style.

Sheesh.

8/10.

"It's not just a boulder...it's a rock!"

Once again, we have two monsters that are really just a part of the same species. In this case, it's what happens when you don't account for the kid you picked on in school once. Basarios is the dumpy odd-faced juvenile at the top. And it fights by rolling around and spraying either fire or sleeping/poison gas from its underside. Its camouflage as a big boulder is nice...but it's just sort of dumb-looking overall.

THEN it grows up, and turns into the bigger, sturdier, and much more imposing Gravios. It too can emit those gasses, but it also has a wicked hide studded with spikes, it's one of the heaviest Flying Wyverns around, and it can even fire a beam of concentrated heat from its mouth. And yes, it can fly, but only for short intervals. In fact, it'll take advantage of this by flying upwards...and then plummeting down like a rock to squash you flat.

I can't even deduct a point for how AWFUL it was to have my weapons bounce off its hide all the time in Generations: Ultimate. Gravios is an alright fellow. 7/10.

"What is this? PINE-CONES!"

I'm not gonna lie, Seregios didn't quite grab me at first. It's a flyer that's way smaller than the average big wyvern, gold just isn't my color, and it has a bad habit of becoming an invasive species on a whim. But it's a unique beast, I'll give it that. It fights with razor-sharp talons, a razor-sharp beak/horn, and most prominently, it can fire its razor-sharp scales at foes and inflict the Bleed status ailment. But I don't know, I just think I'd like this monster a lot more if that imposing head wasn't stuck to such a tiny body almost specifically modeled after a chicken of all things, complete with stubby wingspan. Plus, I feel bad for every Rathian this species seems to love to antagonize. 6/10.

"You're gonna need a bigger bug net."

You probably remember me grousing about how this franchise keeps shirking the chance to include more large insect monsters. Well, turns out most of my big bug needs have been met by a Flying Wyvern of all things.

The Astalos is, hands down, one of the coolest monsters in the whole franchise. It's a near-perfect blend of reptilian might and insectoid weirdness all rolled into one beautiful package. More specifically, it's based on the glasswing butterfly, as evidenced by its translucent wings. Those beautiful glowing wings, bug-like legs, and that tail ending with a pair of scissor-like mandibles make for one unique image! But Astalos doesn't just get by with amazing looks. You see, this wyvern is so insanely aggressive that it can pulsate its headcrest and wings to the point where they generate an obscene amount of green electricity. This electricity empowers the beast so that it can fire electric energy balls, summon pillars of lightning, and slam its wings into the ground like they were fists in a violent electric flurry of punches. The drawbacks are that the most supercharged body parts are extra-vulnerable, and Astalos is a glass cannon overall, dealing lots of damage but not necessarily taking a whole lot. I say that makes for a fair but still intense fight!

Oh, and its theme music is one of the few to incorporate an electric guitar. And it's awesome!

What else can I say? 10/10.

"I think this guy ate some poison oak before taking off."

Even when some monsters aren't my cup of tea, I can greatly admire them for the creativity on display. Case in point, the Paolumu. When I first saw this unusual thing, my first thought went to "giant tent-making bat". And that's just what it looks like. A giant flying tent-making bat with the tail of a beaver that can puff itself up like a balloon. That intro cutscene almost had me bursting out laughing at how it just looks like a floating orb with a pouty face at first...before it unveils its nasty teeth. And that floating? It's perfect for gaining air and slamming into the ground to flatten foes. And it makes for good protection if something gets its jaws around the neck. Not my favorite, but I love how out of the box it is. 7/10.

"NOT. SINGING. THE OVERDONE. DISNEY SONG."

Sigh...Legiana could have been one of the greats. An ice-based flyer with talons like a raven and cool frills that are based on, of all things, the Glaucus Atalanticus, an incredibly unusual yet beautiful type of sea slug with many other aliases (that's also poisonous, so fair warning). And you can see that here, too! But my problem is that they didn't go all the way with it. The head looks more like a hawk, and while its back is colored like its inspiration, its front is instead an unappealing yellowish brown. If it had been white or literally some other vibrant color, I would have let it slide. But that and its head shape just make me think of the wasted potential. A flying sea slug wyvern would have been a slam dunk for a 10/10. Sadly, the disappointment knocks this otherwise okay wyvern to a 5/10.

"Sound the alarm! Wait, IT IS THE ALARM!"

Up to World, players would have to worry about an invasive monster known as the Deviljho popping up out of nowhere to ruin their quests. But at least that guy couldn't fly...but this nomadic invader sure can!

The Bazelgeuse is a knock-out monster, I'll say! It's entire motif is split between that of a lion (the face, the "mane" that makes up most of its head, its armor set) and a bomber plane. Yes, a bomber plane. And like such, its roar sounds like a bass-boosted air raid siren, and it carpet bombs wherever it goes. How? Well, those "scales" dangling from the underside of its head and tail aren't actually scales. They're a volatile substance the beast secretes that hardens into the shape of scales upon being exposed to the atmosphere, which then drop to the ground and blow up after a good few seconds and/or if something touches them. And like an absolute madman, the Bazelgeuse will coat the land in these scales before detonating them itself by CRASH-LANDING STRAIGHT INTO WHERE IT LAID THEM. Make no mistake, this is a monster that lives for the fight. And we love it for that. Plus, its theme music sounds like something you'd hear in a film about planes fighting each other in a war (with Rise providing the best version, of course). 9/10.

"....WAKE!!! UP!!!"

And once again, we have ourselves an immigrant from Frontier, a little while after its servers closed down forever. And not too surprisingly, it's one of the more grounded designs. Espinas, at first, appears to be a typical Flying Wyvern, albeit one covered in a vibrant array of thorn-like spikes that contribute to a major rose motif. But aside from neat aesthetics, its charm comes from its nature. Every Espinas quest begins with you finding the beast...and it's fast asleep. Yup, this is a huge monster that would prefer to doze off and ignore the chaos of the world around it (so it's the most relatable monster to date). Alas, if you want to beat it, you gotta wake it up. This can take a number of hits before the Espinas finally decides to make short work of the thing keeping it from its beauty sleep (though I heard that it was funnier in Frontier in that it STILL would ignore attacking hunters for a while after waking up). And boy howdy, most creatures regret pissing off this gentle giant so much. It is unique in how it's a double threat: it can spit fireballs that inflict burning damage AND poison at the same time. In fact, the poison that supposedly tips its thorns ensures that if something pricks itself on them while its snoring, it can wake up to a free paralyzed meal. Plus, an awake Espinas is powerful enough to stand against Elder Dragons and drive them off! And suddenly, it becomes obvious why few Frontier monsters make it to the mainline games. That lineup is complete insanity for the most part, and Espinas is somehow the tamest of them all for the most part. 8/10.

And there go the Flying Wyverns! Next up, we take a look at the creatures best suited for the water in the form of the Piscine Wyverns, Amphibians, and the Leviathans!

Index:

Herbivores

Neopterons, Carapaceans, Temnocerans

Bird Wyverns

Flying Wyverns

Piscine Wyverns, Amphibians, Leviathans

Brute Wyverns

Fanged Beasts, Fanged Wyverns

Elder Dragons

[bomber-grl]

Leo Valdez x Child of Zeus⚡️

Pairing(s): Leo Valdez x Gn!Reader

A/n: I used power inspo from the fanon wiki

When Leo saw you around camp he immediately thought you were hot

It’s just how Leo is 💀

He started asking about you but is actually hesitant to approach you because well

You’re intimidating as hell

Not to mention how most times when he sees you, you’re busy being the obvious leader and accomplishing what you need to do

It’s not until you run into Jason, your brother, at camp

From there you end up with the seven and so interacting with Leo became inevitable

But the very first conversation you had wasn’t exactly the best

Capture the flag was in session for the evening and you eagerly joined in

Unlucky for Leo though, he was also forced to join

On the side opposing yours

It wasn’t an unusual game as man made mechanisms sprung at you while being attacked by other campers

Leo just happened to be by his teams flag at the time

He wasn’t paying much attention and was just trying to tinker with the machines to pave a way out for himself

His reaction was delayed

Maybe he freezes or was entranced, you’d never know

But you came at him from above using your flight ability and tackle him, successfully retrieving the flag

The very conversation was only two words

You asking “ can I take that?” And him responding with a distracted “yes”

Once the games over and your victory was made clear your team began to gloat

At the same time Leos team was shitting on him and he was just there staring at you

You sorta thought his weirdness about it was cute, and you were sorta sorry about it and apologized

He was shocked u even talked to him and sorta just nodded

Since you became apart of the seven, you two began talking more

The next few conversations you had were started by you because although Leo was interested he knew he couldn’t trust his voice

Then you sorta forced your way into his inner circle

Not that he minded

You two became inseparable and Leo, as much as he loved you, he was scared of you

What caused this?

Well besides the fact that you were confident and good in anything you did

You also fought like no one he’s seen before

Even better than Jason, sorry not sorry

Maybe even Percy? Might be stretching it

But he was just shocked at how well you fought with your weapon of choice

Along with your powers too of course

Because of your godly parent zeus, you’re more athletic, agile, etc than the average demigod

So he can rely on you when you’re ambushed and doesn’t have to worry

Although he does kinda get insecure that he can’t protect you back

Just tell him it’s fine and reassure him

It’ll be ok

You can be a bit intense but Leo? I don’t think he minds at all

Honestly Leo does not know how he bagged a baddie but I mean 🤷

Since you’re a stereotypical child of Zeus then Leo being your boyfriend is quite a shock to anyone who finds out

Despite the shock you two balance each other out

Many people see you as this big deal and are often times scared of you even

But Leo is just so silly and goofy around you, it’s nice

I previously mentioned that Leo would get sort of insecure

He’s probably be a bit worried to some extent over his abilities to yours

Because although he’s decent, well that’s all he is in his eyes

So knowing that a good amount of people want you, well it doesn’t help

Just reassure him because blud will get caught up in his head

Especially since a lot of people he used to be into, wasn’t exactly into him

Although the pairing is a bit unlikely everyone you tell is happy for you two

Piper cheers him on and Jason congratulates him

[theunluckyclover775]

The Batfamily as Cats

I'm bored and was thinking about cats and then the bats. Chaos ensued. Anyways take this!

Alfred- Solely for the bit, he is your typical Tuxedo cat. There is no way you cannot tell me the man doesn't have butlering in his blood at this point, he's done it for longer than Bruce has been alive and will do it until the day he dies (which will be never, because he's immortal, but I digress!)

Bruce- Is a Maine Coon. They're intelligent, you can train some of them, and in spite of their gargantuan size they're pretty agile. They also tend to get along well with other cats from what I've seen. Also imagine Bruce being able to wrap around his all of the batfam (now catfam) bc of how big he is. That would be too cute for the human eye to percieve. A big black void wrapping around the menagerie of cat breeds that are his kitten children to keep them safe.

Dick- Is a Japanese Bobtail. I know he's not Japanese, but these guys are athletic and known for it, from what I've read. They're also affectionate and companionable, which is something Dick definately is.

Babs- Havanna Brown. I don't have a proper explanation for this one, aside from how intelligent one of my friend's cat is, and I'm pretty sure he's a Havanna Brown (Dude can open doors and it's scary how he can tell time. He also likes to lay on your chest and just stare into your soul when you wake up from a nap which is freaky but ok Dilbert).

Jason- Dude is either a Calico or a garbage boy/ no official breed. I know male calicos are hard to find but when I think Jason I think Calico, or an alley cat & we have no clue what he is. He's just vibing and living la vida loca.

Tim- Russian Blue. They're known to be intuitive and intelligent, also when I see a Russian Blue cat I think of rich people? Either that or a Siamese, but Siamese usually don't have Tim's temperament.

Steph Is 100% Ginger, no specific breed, and you cannot tell me otherwise. She is wild and lighthearted, and will do things on pure impulse and spite. Ginger cats have no other objective but cause chaos and do it for the vine. Those with Ginger assholes Cats can agree with me, you love them but holy crap they cause so much damage & then look at you like they're the most innocent angel in the world (or the devil, from- the bible- but, y'know-).

Cass I think would be an Egyptian Mau. They're very active and is one of the oldest recognised cat breeds, which is cool. But they're also intelligent and loyal.

Duke I honestly have no idea, so since he's one of the newer additions to the family I've given him a new-er recognised breed called a Highlander (according to VERY LIGHT RESEARCH it was recognised in 2008). They apparently act like dogs, and are playful and energetic (Also their EARS).

Last but not least, Damian. I've decided he's an Abyssinian/ Maine Coon mix for multiple reasons. 1. If you google them, that face is definitely one Damian has pulled before. 2. They're loyal, intelligent, willful, and curious. Mx. Google here also tells me that they're 'sensible', which is an odd choice of words for a cat, but for Damian I think that makes sense. Mix that with Bruce's size when he grows up and that's gonna be funny as hell. Like damn that's a big cat how is he the youngest?

[vinestaffery]

oh em gee the request box is open!! may I order a tall and strong fem!reader with any phighter during a match? (hell, you can do all or do a love triangle to stir some drama!) ty for ur time :D

—also idk, something with strong and buff fem!readers are something cool and amazing! 😭🙏

HELLO HELLO!!! AND YES, OF COURSE??? I ABSOLUTELY LOVE TALL, BUFF, AND STRONG READERS. THEY ARE SO COOL!!!! i will say it was a bit difficult for me to figure out how to implement. so i tried my best!!! otherwise, i hope this is good enough : [ I am so sorry for the wait!! I’ve been actually quite busy unexpectedly so my schedule was draining me horribly. Once again, the gear reader I tried to make was very brief, so it's completely up to interpretation! If there's any mistake, please do tell me!! I am also trying out a new layout of how I start stuff, so enjoy! Characters: Boombox, Skateboard, GN! Reader Prompt: Love Triangle, Fluff + angst, headcanons + small drabble oneshot! Requested! 

When you first joined the matches and tournaments, your gear was without a doubt one of the most interesting

While everyone had somewhat of a weapon of some sort, you used your complete strength and agility to defend yourself and teammates

Being able to block, punch and deal tons of damage to opponents

Tons of people loved you! You were practically an all-star!

That’s when Boombox and Skateboard were opposed to you on the other team

Boy, were they over heels for you!

Boombox would always find himself getting flustered each time you threw a sense of encouragement, even though you had beaten his ass THOUSANDS of times!!

Skateboard loved riling you up and making your ego grow, ending up with him accidentally getting his mind-games completely demolished!! 

You’d practically trample over them and help win points for upcoming festivals!!!!

Not to forget, you're one of the tallest phighters, making Ban Hammer more nervous sometimes.

When the Dove vs Crow festival came by, they finally realised their complete love for you. 

And boy, did it turn into utter chaos.

Boombox started rejecting his own teammates support 

Skateboard started to laze around and discourage one another!! 

It was total chaos, and out of character for them! But they’d always somewhat change whenever you came by to support and fight one of them

But, that got even worse when Boombox and Skateboard collided with another and ended up in a brawl.

It shocked you, really! And you were in disarray when it happened.

Sadly, such a brawl caused them to get a penalty. Big time. 

Medkit, thankfully as a close friend to you, helped them out and headed to the hospital. They suffered major damage to one another.

You felt like you had done something horribly wrong, and who wouldn’t? Your two pals fighting over something you had no clue what of? 

Call that worse than Noob Nardashins!

You started to avoid matches, refusing to support the team and staying on the sidelines until the other two recover so you could formally apologise

Vine Staff and Slingshot were concerned for the best, you seemed to be different after the major incident

Luckily, Skateboard and Boombox recovered quick, and heard about the news from Slingshot (who was quite disappointed in their little brawl)

Devastated to say the least they were!! 

So, they ended up putting their differences aside just to prove to you that it wasn’t their fault; maybe a few confessions on the way.

The rain seemed to be more gentle than the other days it started hitting. You had no clue on what to do anymore, your passion ran dry after that fight. Holding the train-bar tight, looking out the window where clouds seemed to endlessly create nothing more but chaos. Windforce must be disappointed or something.

“Ma’am!” A tug at your leg, you looked down. A small little demon-child, holding an autograph of what seems to be you.

“Oh, hello!” In their perspective, you were enormous. So tall, and much more different than any other phighter or civilian. “Could you sign my autograph! I miss when you used to phight, you are so cool! I want to be like you one day!”

The steady speed of your heart pulsed. A heart, so metronome, keeping a sensible rhythm, collapsed at the thought of someone wanting to be just like you. You trembled, but kept a smile. “Why, of course!” and you bent down on one knee. 

The small child held out their photograph, taking out what seemed to be the cutest gel-pen possible. It was bedazzled with keychains of different phighters — Medkit, Subspace, Vine Staff, Katana, Boombox, and Skateboard — that caught your attention. Heart soon skipped a beat at the sight of two familiar phighters.

Taking the gel-pen, you wrote your name in thick writing, right where it would be suitable for the child. You looked back up at the child, handing both the pen and the autographed paper. “I saw what happened in that one phighting match, I’m sure it’s not your fault! Maybe they just fought because they like you!” 

No, that’s not right. It’s not because they like me – it’s because I am the problem. Your eyes seemed to be pale and your skin full of goosebumps at such words. Words that seemed to taunt you soon enough to the brink of extinction. If I just never seemed to enter those phights, none of them would’ve gotten hurt. None of them would’ve gotten hurt.

None of them would’ve gotten hur—

The sound of the train stopping, halting as the doors slid open. The child vanished as she yelled goodbye in the cloud of civilians. They all pushed through and tried to get onto the train as fast as possible, while the ones hopping off did the same.

— * * *

You waited at the hospital seating area. Visitation hours were becoming slim, but thanks to Medkit, you’ve been granted more than the usual civilian. He sat at the front-receptionist, seemingly boring himself in constant work and typing. You could hear his quick work-skills not too far, colliding with the clock’s agonising voice.

“You can visit them now.” Medkit piped up. It had to take him a few tries to finally catch your attention, zoning out was not something fun for you.

“Hey, you can visit,” Medkit yelled with a more guided, threatening tone. That caught your attention. Waking from your small dissociation, you got up and trudged off through the door. To the shared room of your two “friends,” that you hated to call them that.

You had feelings for them, of course. They were just so your type, stupid but clever. They were risk-takers, just like you, but you overall enjoyed their thick humour and how they correlated with you quite well; rejection was bound with this. 

Knocking at the door of the room, you opened the sliding door. There, Skateboard and Boombox sat. 

“Oh- Did I interrupt something?” You bent down slightly to walk into the room. The two phighters turned to face you. Skateboard relaxed at the sight of your face, while Boombox just let out a thankful sigh.

“I thought you’d never visit!” Skateboard rushed off of his chair, running over to hug you. You couldn’t help but smile, this is what you missed. Spending endless time with the two, you couldn’t help it. “I was! You guys were just in serious deep sleep.”

“Ha ha, yeah right,” Boombox piped up, elbowing you as he sighed. “Gosh, you're getting taller. You need to stop growing!” Shaking his head, letting out a laugh, he looked out the window and back. “I never thought you guys missed me this much.”

“Miss you that much? Oh boy, we missed you more than you missed us!” 

“Yeah, what the skater said!” 

You smiled, humming as you looked at them both. The comfort that came from them both, came from fortitude. It felt like protected walls that returned the healing hearts; to welcome them to the fort and that they spared any harm. It made you feel happier.

“But,” The two phighters moved back, leaving the last hug.

You raised a brow, eyeing at the two as they sat down. You plucked out a chair from the side, sitting down on it yourself as you stared. “We owe you an apology,” Skateboard nodded. Boombox seemed to look away in slight embarrassment, but shook his head. He had to prove this to you.

“What happened in that match was completely me and Skateboard’s fault. We didn't mean to be that mean towards each other, it’s just…” Skateboard looked at Boombox, who struggled to continue his apology. It was like something had been caught in his throat.

“It’s just…?” You eyed them, concerned. Maybe this was the end of your two’s shared friendship? It was your fault all along.

“What happened that day, it wasn’t your fault. Me and Skateboard have had this… little–""BIG crush on you, and we started to hate one another because of it and we are so sorry for what we had caused! You can hate us all you want, but please, it was entirely our fault and our recklessness taking over!” 

Boombox’s face turned light green as Skateboard waited patiently for your response. You were shocked.

“Please don’t hate us.” 

“Hate you?” 

Silence. You bursted out laughing soon after. “Hate you? No! Absolutely not! I have a crush on you guys too!” 

They stared in shock. You? Loving them both? Wow. 

“...” “... FUUUCK YEAAHH!!!”

[spitinsideme]

dosent ragatha have some special helish duty’s as the queen. Also does she have anymore powers

this is going to be a long post because i like to explain things in detail and also im going to add little drawings to some, so get ready

she does !!! she has some duties she shoukd be taking care of as youknow the queen of hell !!! like any other royalty in thr world, she does jackshit 👍 she just kind of .. created hell and is in charge of it .. soemtimes she likes to torture them herself for a bit of fun

she does have powers !!! i domt draw them much necause she doesnt really use them, but im going to give you a big list now ...

*shes invulnerable to any human or like world weapon or death, nothing can kill or harm her on earth (except religious stuff like crosses and rosaries and holy water, etc) BUT !! when shes close to someone she cares a lpt aboit (like pomni) she can be harmed and killed and also it significaly slows down her abiloty to heal .. here is a diagram to explain that

she also is a pussy with pain becausd she is like NOT used to any earth things at all, like yeah she can be knocked around a bit by a demon but bwcause she heals quickly it has never affecred her, shes the tyoe of person to full on cry and refuse to move or do anything becwude she got a papercut

*she has heightened sense of hearing and smell ! and also eyesight !! she can see in the dark which is very nice

*she can shapeshift oarts of her body into her demonic form. this meand she can grow the fur, have a tail, have sharper and bigger fangs and claws, change her horn shaoe into her demonic form one, and just all that stuff she can do ! she can also shapeshift into different creatures ! but they all have like soke demonic features added to then becaude ragatha is, in facy, a demon. and thehre also usuually way bigger than the original animal. not very good for blending in actually but the animald do look pretty cool and pomni finds it cute (pomni somwrimes asks ragatha to shapeshift to havw like .. the fur her demonic form has because its soft and she likes to sleeo in it, especialy during winter)

*ragatha is always warm. literally immune to any other wearher or temperature. this isnr exactly a supwepower, this isjust her natural state. shes alwyas warm and whereever she goes she warms uo the place because of it. summer weather ? doesnr bother her, shes hotter than it and shes used to the heat (she likes it, makes her feel at home), winter weather ? canr even feel it because shee so warm, the cokd doesnt bother her or affect her

*shes very strong, shes less agile than the other demons because she relies more on strengtth than anything else, shes not vert fast either because, again, she relies on strength. shes faster than a human obviously, but not as fast as like some animals or a car. also she just doesnr enjly running because shes a cocky little bitch who knows dhe can kill whorver dhe want and whenever she wants

*shes the queen of hell, obviously she controls peoples souls. people still do contracyswith her youknow deals woth the devil are still a thing. she canr take a persons soul unless theyre mesnt to be in hell or theyve signed a contract for her to do so because then a whole fight woukd break our between her and heaven and she donesnt fancy all that. but yeah she can do all that !!

* because shes the queen of hell, she gets a special little power that only she has and no one else !!! she jusr knows what someone secretly desires, thats mosrly how she gets people to sign deals with her bur also shes a bit of a whore really so she mostly has used it for sex reasons, made a lot of peoppe go to hell by accodent because they didnr knkw they doing it woth the devil ! she likes that thoufh she finds it funny shes a bit of a bastard. she doesnt use it on pomni though because pomno told her not to, pomni feels weird about it and ragatha loves her and respecrs her and so doesnt do it. pomni ssys what she wnats anyways (soemtimes) so it works out

*she can control fire !thats soemthing shes able to do actually i decided now because shes like the queen of hell i mean comeon ?? flames of hell !? hell flames ?? it just works ... she cant do many fire tricks when notnin her demon form, but she can make fire appear with her fingers and also control it, she has verg good contrlm of it but soemtimes if she gets toomuch of a feeling she could just, potentially, light something on fire by accident. she needs to be very careful necause most of the times she doesnr want to loght soemrhing on fire by accident ! in her demon form, she can make larger fires appear and control them also. she can also control if they hurt someone or not, soemtimes she likes to start a bit of a fire that wont hurt someone but just scares then because it looks real and, therefore, dangerous. bit of a laugh for her really

*not exactly a power but someone once asked me if shes like hurt by cathokic or religoous imagerg things like crosses and rosaries and all that and yes ! she is !! it does burn her a bit and like a tingly .. stinging sensation ? it feels like if you fell into a pile of stingong nettles and then tried to scrape the skin off with a cactus. the pain is different for each thing !! ALSO !! VERY IMPORTANR !! the pain hurts less when theyre further away from it. for example, demon ragayha is in a chirch a lot because of pomni so shes always arouns relifious things bit as long as she doesnt touxh them or get VERY close to them they wont hurt her toomuch. if she gets really close to them or touches then they will hurt more

from lowest to highest on the pain scale, we have small obkects like rosaries or small crosses. the smaller the obkect, the less harm done. this is the lowest pain for that sort of stuff. overall 3/10 pain

then we have bigger obkects, things like statues or the bible woukd hurt more. this is like a bit more painful. overall 4/10 pain.

holy water is MUCH more painful on the scale. but holy watrr only works if it came from jesus birthplacr itself (nazareth) or if it was blessed from a priest, pope, or bishop. thats a proper 8/10 really painful for demons no matter your status (demon pomni and demon ragatha woukd both be hurt the same and feel the same amount of pain badically, doesnr matter the differences in status or strength for religious objects pain)

anything blessed by a priest or god themselves. also, if a priest, pope or bishop were to say a prayer and say it direftly TO them with intent to hurt (thats important, they have to say ir wirh intent to harm the demon) then this woukd be veryveru painful, proper 9/10 on the scale

i think thats it, tahts all i can think of now at least, if i think of more then ill add onto it !!

[ranting-writer]

A part two to the last fic.

"Bro said you talked to him."

Dirk jumped and turned, scrambling to shove his shades on. Dave stood there, stoic and rigid like the concrete supports that rested below the sea Dirk lived above. "Jesus fuck, dude," Dirk breathed out. "How did you do that?"

Dave shrugged as he wandered over and sat on Dirk's desk. "It's what I did with Bro," he answered, crossing his legs. "He'd get engrossed in something, usually making puppets or fucking with his site, and I could just... Wander up. Not that hard." He tilted his hand back and forth, head tilting with it. "Nothing as fancy as flash step, I was never agile enough for it, but still. Spooked him."

Dirk listened patiently, realizing in the back of his mind that this was the most Dave and him had spoken so far. Outside of the rooftop, of course. He hummed when Dave finished talking. "Did we pass through the bubbles again?"

"Huh? Oh! Yeah. Bro was in my room, or I was in his... Anyway, he said y'all chatted a bit."

Oh. There's that drawl. Dirk hadn't heard it in Dave's voice before, but now he did. It wasn't as noticeable as Bro's accent, but it was there. Little pieces, just in the way he said "bit", or "agile". The "i" in his words seemed to drag just a tad, with the faintest twang. Obviously "y'all" was in there, but that was noticeable. Bro's accent wasn't soft like the tiny pieces of Dave's speech that the younger Strider wasn't as easily able to cover.

Dirk turned back to tinkering. "Yeah," he said, trying to sound bored. "We talked some. He's..." He trailed off. He didn't want to upset Dave. From overhearing conversations or the brief chats they'd had before, Dave was very protective of Bro and his reputation. Dirk didn't want to ruin their budding bond over Bro.

"An acquired taste," he finished finally.

Dave snorted and nodded. "Yeah, no kidding."

Dave silently watched Dirk, getting fidgety. He was never good at sitting still or sitting in extended silences with someone. Hell, even with Bro he'd yapped away into the night! Bro, while practically non-verbal 95% of the time, patiently listened to Dave's after school ramblings, or heard him out on his comic ideas. They were close.

Him and Dirk though?

Not close.

Dirk was sullen and distant, more than Bro. Dirk seemed prone to simply isolating himself, especially if someone directly mentioned, or addressed, him in any way that wasn't explicitly neutral. Dirk was always focused on some new machine he wanted to build, or some new way of bothering others into being better people.

Kinda like Rose.

Oh God, was Dirk, or Bro rather, where Rose got all of her weird prying, psychobabble from?

"No, I think she got that on her own."

Dave looked over, confused. "Huh?"

Dirk glanced up and replied, "Rose. She got her psychobabble shit from herself."

Dave blushed, face crumpling in embarrassment. He'd accidentally started talking out loud. He groaned a bit, rubbing his face. "Fuck dude," he muttered. "Sorry. I didn't mean to talk out loud."

Dirk smiled a bit and he shrugged. "All good, man. Besides, I actually think having conversations like that has interesting potential. At least as far as we're concerned."

Dave looked over and teased, "I'm not telling you if Bro's dick is bigger."

Dirk looked over, admittedly concerned and confused. "How the hell would you even know how big his dick is?"

"Unfortunate happenstance in the bathroom. He kinda passed out in the shower after not eating for like a week."

Dirk stared. Did that mean Dave had to pick up Bro, dry, dress, and put him to bed as a kid? How often had that happened? In the dream bubble, Dirk had noticed a suspicious lack of food products about, but it wasn't really something he'd focused on. Besides, the smell of cigarettes and old Monster had overridden any possible food smell.

"He'd eat ramen or Taco Bell when he remembered to actually eat anything," Dave continued. "Otherwise, I think he just kind of, forgot? Or maybe it was another one of his weird control things. Hard to tell with him."

Dirk nodded slowly. "Did you have to pick him up a lot?" he asked, swapping tools.

Dave shrugged a bit. "Meh, not really," he said. "Only when he was spiralling pretty bad."

"Spiralling?"

"Yeah, he'd go through weird phases sometimes. He'd either go way way up emotionally, or way way down."

Dave grabbed some apple juice and an orange Faygo from his syalladex. He passed the soda to Dirk. "Usually when he was dating, but it's why he just stopped dating. Either they'd be his everything and they'd leave because he got intense. Or they'd do or say something that triggered what he called a switch, or something like that, and he'd suddenly act like he never even liked them."

Dirk felt his blood run cold as he took the Faygo. He could sort of understand the feeling. Sometimes he could experience excitement or joy so intensely, at one point Jake had accused him of being manic.

Other times, honestly mostly, he felt sort of hollow and bored. Mostly, his emotions just felt like a lot to him and it was hard to manage.

Oh, shit, Dave stopped talking.

Dave was watching Dirk, an eyebrow raised. Dirk shook his head a bit as if to clear his thoughts. "Sorry," he mumbled. "The train of thought derailed before it reached the station."

That made Dave smile a bit. Dave then nodded and moved to a chair next to Dirk. As Dirk turned back to working on his new little robot, he felt Dave's chin on his shoulder. He suppressed the little excited sound threatening to escape his throat.

He'd lived alone his entire life, and had no physical touch in his life. Even when he and Jake finally met in person, physical contact was limited. Their down time had been spent mostly with Jake whining (sorry, "whinging") about the puzzles, the ruins, the food, his new shorts... About Hal too. Usually Hal.

Sure, Roxy hugged him often enough, but only when he was in close proximity and she got excited. There was no real going out of her way to initiate hugs with him.

So, even this small gesture, a chin on his shoulder, felt incredible to him.

As much as he put on a nonchalant and cool exterior, he craved intimacy and connection. Emotionally, platonically, physically, whatever he could get. It was a little piece of his identity he hadn't really registered before until it really came up.

At some point, his head ended up leaning on Dave's.

Dave made a tiny happy noise and Dirk felt his arms wrap around his torso for another kind of awkward side hug. Awkward though it was, it made Dirk incredibly happy to have Dave be comfortable with him at last.

Dave mumbled, "You should take a break."

Dirk shrugged a bit, humming. "I like keeping busy."

"Okay but hear me out... Cuddling in a comfy pile."

Dirk looked over at Dave and stared for a long moment. Eventually, he stood. "Alright, fucking sold."

Dave stood and pulled Dirk over to Dirk's pile of (totally ironic) smuppets. Dave teased, "You make these too?"

Dirk shrugged as he laid with Dave. "They're fun to make," he said. "I don't make them weird like Bro does, though."

Dave chuckled and put his shades to the side before curling up against Dirk and hiding his face in Dirk's neck. "Suuuuurrreeee," he drawled teasingly. "Nothing weird here, officer. Only vaguely phallically schnozed puppets."

"Shut up, dude."

"M'nah. I'm not good at it."

"I noticed."

Dave chuckled lightly and sighed happily as Dirk held him.

The two laid there in peaceful silence, simply content to just hold each other and be of some comfort to the other. It was an experience neither really had, too isolated (in Dirk's case, from literally everyone) or too wrapped up in stressful situations. It felt nice to just have a calm and sweet moment between them.

Of course, Dirk's big mouth had to go and ruin it. Like he did everything else he touched. "Be honest, Dave, how exactly do you feel about your Bro?"

Thankfully, even as Dirk was mentally kicking himself, Dave didn't pull away. Dave just hummed then answered with, "It's complicated."

Yeah... Complicated sounded right, just based off the one interaction Dirk had had with Bro.

"On the one hand," Dave started to elaborate. "I love the guy. He taught me everything I know, he let me pursue my passions, he didn't force me to get the best grades or anything, and it really felt like he was just my significantly older brother raising me."

He paused and let out a slow breath, his exposed face looking pained and confused. He really wasn't good at hiding his expressions. "On the other hand, though, I had to hide food in the closet. The microwave was storage, so was the fridge. Kitchen appliances were rigged to cameras for puppet snuff that I was inadvertently apart of I guess.

"I was the kid at school having to hide bruises so CPS wouldn't be called, too. But..." Dave sighed heavily, pinching his nose bridge. "I dunno, man. The guy fucked up my sense of self really fucking bad, but I can't exactly find it in me to blame him? He had a shit life before me and... Ugh."

Dirk frowned a bit at the cranky look on Dave's face. He didn't like cranky Dave. Hesitantly, he pet Dave's straw blonde hair, which seemed to help Dave relax.

Dave mumbled, "What about you? Your feelings on your Bro, I mean."

Dirk hummed and pushed his shades up to match Dave's bare face. "Complicated," he said, thinking. "It's not like I had a relationship with him, outside the parasocial fanboy type of bond. I knew early on he was my ancestor, and I called him my Bro for simplicity's sake when talking about him..."

Dirk looked at Dave. "But if I'm honest, he's not much more to me than a genetic donor. Or.. well..."

Dave cut him off. "We're not gonna get into our technical biological relationship."

"Fair. Regardless, I never truly saw him as a guardian, let alone something as close as brother, or father."

Dirk hummed, looking a little sheepish. "Although, I think I saw him as a sort of... Figure of idealized personhood."

Dave stared blankly then laughed a bit. "Dude, do you mean 'a role model'?"

Dirk blushed and shoved Dave's shoulder playfully. "Shut up."

Dave burst into a fit of giggles, grinning widely.

Dirk smiled faintly while he watched Dave laugh. He found that he liked seeing Dave smile, liked hearing his laughter. It eased his anxieties over their present conversation, and about any future conversations. If he could make Dave laugh, maybe their bond could be pretty damn good moving forward.

They returned to a comfortable quiet for awhile, the only sounds being the usual creaks of the meteor and their breathing.

Dirk stared at the ceiling, lost in thought. It was sort of a wonder to him that Dave turned out how he had under Bro's abuse. Sure, Dave had loads of selfish and asshole moments, Dave was 16, they all were. It was bound to happen, especially with all of the trauma they'd all endured, with no true safe space to process and heal yet.

Outside his dickhead moments, at his baseline, Dave was sensitive. He cared deeply about people, he prioritized helping his friends and trying to make things go right over his own well being. A version of Dave time travelled backwards to save John and sacrifice his own existence to prototype himself into the kernelsprite. Dave truly could embody what it was to be a knight. A guardian and protector against all threats.

To top it off, Dirk had yet to see Dave in a position where he wasn't touching someone, somehow.

A knee touching Rose's knee. Fingers holding onto the sleeve of Karkat. Playing with the fingers of Roxy while they babbled together. A chin on John's head. Given an opportunity though, Dave was clearly a clinger.

Dirk had once seen Dave full on koalaed around Roxy while she gladly carried him around, despite the height difference. He'd even seen Dave carrying Karkat around just for the ability to hold someone.

Dave was a lovebug, in short.

And Dirk admired that about him.

Dirk blinked as Dave was suddenly wrapping himself around his body. Ah. A repeat of Roxy, this time with him. Dirk patted Dave's back, chuckling softly. "Comfy?"

He only got a sleepy grunt in reply.

Dirk hugged Dave, burying his face in Dave's hair. They could talk more later. For now, Dirk felt content in just holding Dave and napping with him.