#this is a conversation to have when stuff starts to stabilize

[trashfangirlsworld]

Once again I want to remind everyone that if you don't feel personally comfortable buying stuff from the qsmp shop, it's completely fine, however if your reason for it is that you're helping ex or current admins, then I'm sorry but you're not at all. It's been said multiple times that the qsmp is not financially stable rn, it is the whole reason why the egg admins can't come back to the server now, because there are no funds to currently pay them properly. Until qsmp's financial situation is sorted, the egg admins can't come back, and ex admins cannot be paid back for their work. Quackity can't pull money out of his ass. This is the whole point of the merch, to hopefully increase qsmp's funds.

Again, don't buy anything if you feel uncomfortable to do so rn, it's perfectly alright, just keep what I said above in mind if it's not about comfort. Remember to be nice and respectful to each other!

[sqgeism]

hey there!!! love your work sm eheheh

anyway, i was wondering if you could (perchance) do a vampire reader x dr ratio? preferably where the reader is STARVING and bites him lolol

stay safe and stay silly!!

𐙚 𓏵𓏵𓏵 𐙚 take a look into my eyes | dr. ratio and anaxagoras (seperate) x gender neutral reader

💌 — ; can you feel the tension ? between us boy, i know you want this potion ! bloodstains : a course of how to have a vampire lover. written by anaxagoras and dr. ratio.

love mail — hi anonnie ! thank u sm for requesting >< misread the comment originally and wrote vampire anaxagoras b4 scrapping as i reread it (;´Д⊂) anaxa's is lowkey suggestive.. experimental fic.. and if you can give me criticism on that part i'd really appreciate it cus i don't write make outs often (´；ω；`) this was so weirdly long mama help

,to be quite frank, dr. ratio figured it out before you revealed yourself to him. it explained why you seemed to never sleep, or your fast regeneration, things like that. so when you two started dating, he kept an eye on how you satiated your appetite. even if you didn't like it.. fresh, red meat from butchers weirdly worked. instead of buying the packaged stuff—ratio accompanied you to a butcher every week to get a big slab of undrained cow meat. then it'll be your meal till it would no longer suffice.

unfortunately, not only did it not taste good, but it was barely enough to keep you functioning. you had enough strength to move and do usual tasks, but your power was significantly weaker, as well as regeneration. your body responds negatively to the lack of proper blood, but still accepts it as such. like forcing yourself to eat uncooked meat. (which is what you were doing)

and because of your weakening state, and having your arm chopped off after a battle.. it was regenerating, worry not (albeit very slow). but then, to your dismay, you two got into an argument. "your cowardice is killing you." ratio began with a sharp tone, causing you to scoff. "what am i supposed to do, ratio? bite random people on the streets?" you retorted, and he lets out a forced, amused laugh.

"your solution stands before you, (name)."

he looms over you. "bite me, for aeon's sake. you think a measly bite will hurt, compared to the suffering you go through?" he's never sounded so.. mad, but gentle. his hand grips your unharmed shoulder, grip like a vice yet still tender. "bite me." he demands, yet also pleads.

dr. ratio begging is a sight you never thought you'd see, but his eyes pierce through you in complete seriousness. he won't let you leave this conversation without a bite mark on his neck, and you don't remember how long it's been since you've had mortal blood. "..f-fine."

in your weakened state, your legs force themselves to stand. your body really only has the strength to lean against him, as his arms wrap around you to keep you stable. your head weakly makes its way to his exposed bicep, and his hand guides you, knowing it likely won't hit anything vital.. and it's the easiest to access currently. after all, your other arm is far from fully regenerating, and ratio was starting to worry that the blood you had wasn't enough.

slowly, your mouth opens—revealing eager teeth but still hesitant. you hover over his arm for a bit, before slowly biting down.

he doesn't wince, not at all, but he does grunt at the initial bite. he listens to you slowly feed, feeling the blood drain from his body as he stands tall. and while he's faltering, you grow stronger. hell, your intact arm grips his hips as you dig deeper. little mumbles as you suck on his arm, like it's the last drop of blood you'll ever have.

you're brought back to reality as ratio's head slumps against yours and you pull your teeth out quickly, licking the bite and stopping any more blood with a cloth. "ratio!"

you don't even realize that your other arm has regenerated as you use it to stabilize him. guiding him back down on the chair you were just sat on as he groans. he can't speak, he's too lightheaded to try. but he feels lips press against his and a whisper of a sorry before he completely slips.

you care for him till he wakes up. feeling much.. much stronger, but needing to communicate how they'll go on forward. after all, you liked that a bit too much. and with the way ratio's heart was racing, you can make a wild guess that it was either adrenaline or attraction.

anaxa doesn't feel too weird about your vampirism. it explained the long sleeves constantly, big hats and umbrellas, fangs that came with sharp nails.. typical vampire lover packaging.

though something he found intriguing, was that you never drank raw, mortal blood. it was always blood bags.. nothing that had a beating heart. you were always so delicate that way.. even as your body physically withered, you wouldn't have your fangs get anywhere close to a human.. especially not anaxa.

but coming with you when you were hungry always.. saddened him. after getting your hands on a blood bag that are provided to keep those of your kind that aren't too far gone.. at least a little sane—you clearly never liked it. described it as too cold, bitter, and was the vampire equivalent of spoiled milk.

it didn't help all too much either. while it kept your hunger at bay, you were still much weaker compared to your full potential. you could transform, regenerate quickly, hide in shadows.. but you could only do the last one. and as previously established, even if regeneration is part of your abilities, it was greatly weakened. your body didn't have enough energy or blood to regenerate with, therefore straining your physical and mental.

and it was a great trouble for you, because the demands of an astral express member was starting to get rougher. all while you weren't regenerating in time to be able to meet what was expected of you. missions were getting rougher, injuries were worsening, and your body couldn't catch up to it all.

so that leads you here, a large gash in your face as you lay in anaxa's lap, waiting for the pain to disappear as you rustle and turn, unable to really rest due to the uncomfortable sensation. you can feel your muscles trying to pull themselves back together, skin sparing no effort to resort itself. and anaxa is doing no better. he pushes your hair away to see the full extent of the wound, and his heart aches. you're in so much pain.. yet you won't do what you have to in order to fix it. "my dove, please." you know what he's going to offer, and you'll refuse it every time. "anaxa, no. i swore i wouldn't bite after turning." yet you aren't getting any better. you've been like this for hours, and changing what you wear won't erase the wounds he knows are still healing beneath your top.

he doesn't want his frustration to get the better of him, but the scholar quietly seethes. you're being so stubborn—for what? too afraid to hurt him? he loves you for your selflessness, but he's not above begging you to be selfish for once.

in the silence of your struggles, his brain is racking to figure out a way to get you to drink his blood. considering his loss of morality and not necessarily caring if something is harmful to him, he doesn't think twice about what happens to him. just as long as you're okay.. staring down at your lips a little too long gives him an idea.

he taps your shoulder softly, and one anaxa's hand makes it's way to your back to slowly guide you back up to him, the other resting on your hip. "my love, i know it's a bad time. but may i kiss you? i know that you're in pain, and i'd like to do anything i can to make you feel better." you seem hesitant at first, thinking your bloodied wound would make you a little.. unattractive to your boyfriend, but it's anaxa, it makes sense why he wouldn't care. so you nod and barely get a breath in before he's all over you.

it isn't the short kisses anaxa has been known for to you, it's hungry. he's practically devouring you, the vampire between you both, might i add. it doesn't help that he's dipping down to you and keeping your head in place with his hand, effectively trapping you in his little plan. the other, while you're too busy melting against his advances, squeezes you—harshly. it causes you to make the sweetest noise that he's sure to relish, but more importantly—your mouth opens just enough for your fangs to be exposed. that's when he forces your lower jaw upwards, making you bite his lip hard enough to bleed.

he groans, no doubt, but he doesn't pull away. in fact, this is where he returns with much more fervor. you panic in realization of what he's done, but anaxa's grip is unforgiving. he's making sure that his blood gets and stays in your mouth.

your struggle doesn't last long, thankfully. because your worry turns into relief, as the long forgotten taste of human blood begins to flood your tastebuds. eventually he doesn't need to hold your head for you anymore, you've recovered from your lightheadedness and began to take initiative as well. kissing him softly and licking the blood clean off of his lips.

when you finish with one last peck, you look at your lover with a bit of conflict. unsure whether or not to be upset or.. thankful. because the pain has stopped, and you feel stronger. your body doesn't ache as much either. "you're a madman." is all you grumble, hitting his chest.

the scholar laughs, burying his head against your hair. "whatever you say, dove."

© sqgeism or wtv (^_^;)

[rorimoon9597]

There's a Twitter account called Photo Evidence and it's full of photos of corrupt company owners doing drugs when they claim to be against them, or trying to SA women and screenshots of conversations between CEOs and their workers or a third party planning situations that are meant to make the CEOs look good or of the money in the company being used for bad things. You know, that kind of stuff.

The account starts out small (or, small in the scale of trying to destroy large corporate companies that are corrupt) and starts to go bigger. Photo Evidence is responsible for federal investigations into these companies, and no one knows who runs the account or how they get this information. People have tried to hack into their account and see if there's anything that tells them who it is, but the account's super protected that it's insane. How does something this protected even exist on Twitter?

Then it starts to go after Lex Luthor and his company. There are texts between Lex Luthor and Kon-El, talking about how Lex created Kon and that he should be preparing to take over Lex's company. There's evidence of mercenaries being hired to stage a take over for Luthor to look good about, and so many other things.

Somehow, Photo Evidence gets their hands on Luthor's cloning experiments. The accompanying caption is 'Fellas, how gay must you be to combine your own DNA with your sworn alien enemy to stabilize you clone of him?'

It causes a ruckus in a few hours.

Nightwing comments on the post, asking Aqualad and Kid Flash if they remembered breaking into Cadmus Labs without adult supervision. Aqualad's response is 'I was the adult supervision'

When Lex Luthor makes a homophobic comment, Photo Evidence starts to make fun of him, asking him things like 'How's the internalized homophobia going?'

Lex Luthor's company gets investigated, and no amount of bribery can save it because these are private investigators hired and paid with more money than Luthor can offer them.

Photo Evidence is Tim. He started the account because he was bored one day, and it's way more fun to bully Lex Luthor.

[redwinewhiteroses]

What does your fs love the most about you?

👰🤵💌

Masterlist

Image 1

Your fs is really attracted to you sexually. It's really a strong energy almost like lust and desire. I think they love your body, sensuality and your sexual expression. They admire your physical body too much in a good way. They're really tempted by you. They might even be obsessive over you. Your fs feels intoxicated by you. I think you seduce them and they love that about you. You might know what your fs wants and you'll say it exactly the way he wants, I think he's so charmed by that. You could be a bit manipulative in getting what you want, and he is kinda turned on by that ngl. Also you might be a dom or have some control or an invisible grasp over him and he likes that. Like they can't say no to you. You or them could be a bit submissive and your fs likes that power dynamic. It seems that one has control over the other and they love that their partner is submissive or dominant over them. This could be a theme in your relationship. For some you might be into heavy makeup or roleplay or kinky stuff and they love that about you. For some of you, you might be a daredevil and pretty unconventionally attractive and they love that about you. For some of you, you guys might indulge in something together and they love sharing that experience with you, whatever it is.

Your fs loves your optimism and warm hearted nature. They think you are full of life and they feel inspired by you in so many ways. I think they love your cheerfulness and positive attitude towards life. You could be playful or goofy with them and they really enjoy that about you. You bring a lot of love and light to their life and they are truly grateful to have you as their life partner.

You could be a happy go lucky person or you might radiate a childlike joy and your fs adores you for all of those traits. They find you charming and confident.

Your fs loves your enthusiasm for life. You might have expressive eyes and they love your eyes. You make people feel valued and appreciated and that really catches your fs's eyes. You might have a lot of friends or you love building connections with people. Maybe you love celebrating people. You build community and your fs loves that. You can be a social butterfly. Your fs thinks you have a good friendship and a passionate love life. They might think they got the better end of the deal in your marriage lol. There's this energy of them seeing you as a catch. Almost like they feel a thousand times better about themselves with you by their side. You magnify their self confidence and they love that about you.

For very few of you, this relationship might have started as a fwb situation and progressed into a marriage. That's it for my dear group ones.

Image 2

They love the stability you bring into your relationship. They love how reliable you are and that actions always follow your words. They think you are reliable and they value your partnership and commitment more than anything and everything else. They feel at home with you. There's this strong sense of belonging they feel with you. They love that you bring so much joy and optimism into their life and how their life is now a thousand times better with you in it. They love how caring you are and they love the conversations you share. They love the depth of the relationship you have, they think it is so profound. They are incredibly grateful for your presence is what I'm seeing. If you are already married to this person, they absolutely love your marriage. I think they would love to have kids with you and raise them together enjoying those little cute family moments together. They basically love love love doing life with you. Living under the same roof with you is something they cannot get enough of. This is so precious 😭

They also love how nurturing and emotionally stable you are. They think you are quite mature and impressive when dealing with emotions and complex feelings. They think you are very secure in yourself and you know how to regulate your emotions really well. They feel very safe and protected in the relationship. They think you support them and they're very grateful for you. They feel understood and accepted for all that they are. They love how sensitive you are. You could be an empath or you feel things rather deeply and intensely. They love how you don't judge but rather fully accept and embrace all parts of them without discrimination. They love your healing presence. You might be feminine and a true romantic at heart and your fs loves that about you. They always appreciate your sweet romantic gestures.

They also love your emotional abundance. You radiate love and kindness. You embody the true essence of love. They think you are a good spouse and loving, gentle parent. They love how loyal you are and how secure your relationship is. You might be creating art or creative in general and they absolutely love that about you. You bring them a lot of peace and improve their emotional wellbeing. Both your heart chakras are fully open in this relationship and finally you both could navigate towards spirituality together and heal and find a higher purpose in life. There is also a newness in your relationship, like it's always fresh, never stagnant, never boring and there's always more to look forward to. Your fs loves that abundant positivity and rejuvenation in your marriage. There's overflowing love here. This is a really beautiful relationship 💕

One thing that is very prominent here is you could have many kids together or you or your fs could have a strong desire to have kids. Pregnancy and fertility is very abundant in this marriage. So there's a lot of good luck and high possibility if that is something you want.

Image 3

Your fs loves how warm and welcoming you are. They love how optimistic and joyful you are. They love the stability you bring into their life. They feel safe in your relationship. They are grateful for how supportive you are. They love how stable your relationship is and they think your relationship is built on a strong foundation with mutual trust and respect. They love being married to you. They love spending time with you and they love talking to you because you possess a lot of wisdom. They feel this sense of belonging with you. They feel at home with you. They feel well understood and supported by you. They might look forward to coming home after work just to see you. Also they love having kids with you. They would most definitely love to create a family with you. They love the acts of service you do to make their life easier. They are incredibly grateful for you.

Your fs loves how you stand in your own true power. Your fs feels like you can guide them and help them navigate difficulties in life. They appreciate the knowledge and wisdom you bring to the table. You might raise your kids well and you maybe a strong guiding light for them and your fs really loves that about you. You could have an answer to a lot of things and you resolve conflict easily within the relationship. You could do a lot of self reflection and your fs thinks that the stability you bring is multiplied ten times over due to your amazing personal qualities. You could be quite independent on your own. You have a good sense of self, likely from a lot of introspection. They see that, and they absolutely love that about you. They think you are a very thoughtful partner. You could go against the grain and you would definitely not fear standing on your own. I think you have a lot of power and inner wisdom. You stand true to your beliefs. You could be a bit of a loner but never lonely. You could have a passion for life and maybe you charge that power and transmute that into creative energy with alone time. Your fs loves how you have a life for yourself within your marriage. Like you could have your own passion and ambitions for things you love to do and you bravely pursue them without hesitating. You have a good balance of depending on your partner and venturing into the world on your own. Your fs loves your wisdom and sense of self and your bravery to stand true to yourself at all times.

Your fs loves how passionate you are. You might have a lot of energy. Contradictory to your self isolation tendencies, you definitely has a lot of drive and ambition for life. You could have a home based business or you might have a creative pursuit. Your fs loves your ambition and determination. You might be into fitness, high energy activities and you might have some interesting hobbies. It's never boring with you is what I'm seeing. You could be a go getter and action oriented and your fs loves how decisive you are. You are confident, spontaneous and daring, you might even challenge them in some ways and inspire them. You could also lead the relationship in some way and I think your fs appreciates that. Your fs and you could travel a lot together.

Your fs also loves how passionate you are. You could be very confident with your sexuality and you are great at expressing yourself that way. There's this fiery passion in your relationship and it's very real. You could have a lot of spicy time with your fs and they absolutely love your wild, crazy, passionate side of you.

There's a possibility of pregnancy here. You would most likely create a family with your person. If that's something you want.

In case you were attracted to group two, I suggest you read that if you feel called to do that. The energies were quite similar, not entirely but there could be messages for some of you.

Image 4

Your fs could love your femininity and your nurturing qualities regardless of gender. You could be a provider of sorts. You might have a good intuition and your fs loves that divine feminine side of you. Your fs loves how nurturing, soft and compassionate you are. Your fs also thinks you are enigmatic and alluring. You could have emotional depth and you could come across as a bit mysterious. Your fs is intrigued by you but at the same time loves that about you. You could have some specific fears or insecurities and your fs could be aware of them.

Your fs also loves that you are a bit possessive or jealous. You might have a tight grasp on your lovers or romantic relationships. Your fs loves how you are quite possessive over them.

You could be a hard worker and could be financially well off and your fs admires that about you.

You also have a tendency to give too much of yourself or too little of yourself in a relationship. I think it'll be healthy to have balance in your relationship with your fs. There could be a power dynamic of sorts and your fs kinda loves that. You might overextend yourself or give too much and your fs seems to love that regardless of that being a bit unfair. Youcould be carrying a lot of responsibilities and your fs might slack off and expect you to do them. Your plate is full in a way. You could be a risk taker and you just make things happen. Might not be for everyone, but you could be the breadwinner and your fs loves how you manage a lot of responsibilities on your own and never look to their side for support. Some of yall might be giving too little in the relationship, so your fs loves the chase. He loves the challenge and he wants to figure you out. Unravel more and more of you and your secrets. There seems to be a underlying unhealthy dynamic that plays to the benefit of your fs. Regardless your marriage with your fs could be fulfilling and passionate.

You could be highly passionate and sexual. You could be playful and adventurous. You could have a high libido and there also can be a huge emphasis on your physical relationship. There could be over indulgence in sexual activities and your fs loves that. Your fs also loves your daring and fiery nature. You could take charge in the bedroom and even in public life. Your fs could be submissive in a way and he loves the dynamic you have. For this group, your fs loves this dynamic that exists in your marriage and it's coming through strongly and not necessarily your individual qualities.

There could be a lack of balance in this relationship. It's not necessarily bad, if one particular partner enjoys being more dominant and carrying more responsibilities and the other partner is more laidback and less driven naturally and they both consensually agree that it is okay, there's no problem at all. But if overextending yourself isn't your own choice, it's better to achieve more balance in the relationship with your fs and resolve things if there are any visible or invisible problems. This was quite an interesting group.

Thanks for joining me for this reading! 💌

[aphroditesmoon]

smoke signals (part iv)

lighthouse keeper!sevika x selkie!reader

summary: sevika is content with her life, the loneliness that comes with her job is inevitable. but then one day, as she reaches the peak of mundanity, almost turning into insanity, you appeared. cold, quiet, clueless, sea-sent you, like a wish fulfilment for her.

warnings: selkie!reader, reader has selective mutism in beginning. makeout (no smut yet)

a/n: a long awaited chapter, idk who will read this still but if you've been an og, thank you for your patience <3

taglist: @lilredbird101 , @djstinkyfartz @vellichor-and-flowerpetals

wc: 6k

part 1 part 2 part 3

---

Your whole life has been spent disregarding the feeling of fear that crept in your heart as you travelled. Because that's just the way you were. Ghosts could lurk beyond closed doors, and you'd find yourself kicking them open and challenging them upfront despite the fact that your heart is beating outside of your chest.

Little bird, your mother use to call you. The irony of being compared to an animal of the sky as you remained below wasn't lost on you. But that was how she saw you. Free, unafraid to soar.

And so that was how you continued to live as you cherished the memories of her, untethered to anyone or any place, uncommitted. And the freedom feels oh so good for a while. But as it goes for anything you do for too long, it will start to hurt soon enough.

But now that you've had a taste for stability, you're not sure if you could live without it anymore. It was inevitable, you know. The way you had imposed yourself on Sevika was so sudden, your presence had existed without any sort of grounding. Floating around her, making yourself fit in places you shouldn't. You'd be as easy to get rid of just as you were as easy to be taken in.

You're not so sure when the eviction would be due, but what you do know is that today, the process had begun.

You can hear Sevika conversing with the old man, Vander, as you remain seated at the corner of the boat, letting them unload her stuff in. The waves are peaceful today, the sailing would be smooth and wind gentle, you predicted.

Casting a quick glance behind you, you found that the older woman had already been focusing on the back of your head. Her piercing eyes don't move after being noticed but instead intensify. Whatever words being said by the man next to her was clearly being ignored.

In this very moment, you wished you could read her mind. While she assumes that you could already.

Sevika turns back to Vander once he finished asking his question, leaving you to the sea again. "What?" She asks him.

Vander sighed and shook his head in a fatherly manner before repeating himself. "I said, what the hell have you gotten yourself into, woman?"

Sevika responded with her usual annoyed grunt and looked away from him.

"I left you alone for a month and you've already found yourself in new trouble."

"She's no trouble, and I'm in no shit. So check yourself, Vander." She didn't mean to sound so defensive, and it wasn't like she didn't understand what he had meant with 'trouble', but she's also actively trying to avoid the facts that are currently staring right at her face.

"Oh, no? So when we get to land, you'll be handing her over to the arms of those wretches with no problem, aye?" Sevika shoots him a glare.

"I...have not come to a definite conclusion."

Vander raises a brow at her.

"You can't keep her Vika, that's kidnapping." He says matter of factly.

She snorted at the possibility of you ever being her unwilling captive. "Never said anything about that."

Vander relented and dropped the subject with another defeated sigh. She knew she was acting like a child, avoiding the truth and refusing to make the call.

She doesn't know why its so hard, she had come to this decision weeks ago when you had first appeared outside her door, and the fact that you had given her little to no information about yourself since then, just makes this issue even more complicated.

But how can she give you up to the enforcers when she knows that even they won't make an effort to really return you to wherever you came from? At first, the plan was to get you out of her hands. But now, the idea of sending you straight into the lion's den is absolutely unbearable.

The only person she'll ever really care about, and now she's forced to let you down?

She wonders if you know what this trip would really mean, you seem to be lost in your own thoughts for more than expected and she isn't sure if it's because of the change of scenery or the addition of another person in your presence that will soon be multiplied overwhelmingly.

A part of her wants to go over to you and wrap a comforting arm around your shoulder, but she's not sure if she should. im fact, she's not sure on how she's supposed to act around you at all, feeling like no matter what angle she tries to come from, the killing blow of her oncoming betrayal will be seen as just as traitorous in your eyes.

But god, what else is she supposed to do? Sevika's mind has reached a blank wall.

Impulsively, Sevika approached Vander with a question. "Say old man, you don't mind if we stay over at your place for a night or two, do you?"

Vander seemed surprised but not displeased. "Uh, sure. Why not?"

Sevika thanks him in a whisper and feels relief in her lungs as she's gifted with more time to come up with something better.

"The kids will be glad to see you." Vander added with a short laugh.

"The kids." Sevika breathed out, reminiscing about the last time she saw them, which was 2 months ago. "How are they?"

Vander shrugged, "They're well, and stubborn as usual." Vi and Jinx are your typical growing young adult and teenager. They had somehow inherited both Vander's bravery and stupidity despite not really being his children.

"The bar however, suffered many losses because of those damned pirates from last month. The kids have been helping me fix things up, but it just hasn't been the same." And that was the other issue when it came to the town, the random and consistent attacks from the pirates.

Thieving is a repetitive crime in town, but the damage that these pirates have done is incomparable.

The Black Fury pirates are notorious for their crimes all over the map and some might even call them legendary. They had only recently been invading Zaun during their little pit stops. They are well armed and not afraid to use their weapons. Even the enforcers have been unable to do anything about the sudden attacks.

Sevika can only hope that they won't be back here anytime soon.

She watches as you turn to face a different direction as the boat is finally reaching land. The silence of the journey is now being replaced by loud chattering voices of fishermen, sailors and townsfolk.

Once Vander managed to tie up the roads as the bottom of the boat meets the sandy ground.

People looked, but not at any particular interest towards the three of you as you cleared up your bags and tools out of the vehicle and made your way deeper into the crowd of lively people.

You survey your surroundings with an eager but patient manner, finding comfort in the way the voices mesh together, overlapping over eachother to the point that you wouldn't be able to make clear on anything.

You enjoyed calmness and peace, especially for these last couple of weeks. But anyone who knew you (not that there are many), would know that you truly thrived in loudness and bustling spaces that most humans find themselves in.

You jolted when you felt Sevika slip her fingers around yours, clasping your hands together. When you looked up to her as you continued to move behind Vander, she only cocked her head at the crowd and said; "can't lose you now."

You continue to gawk at corner shops and messy stalls selling cheap jewelry and greased up food as she leads you on. You could still feel her turning around every few seconds to look at you, as if afraid that you'd somehow disappear despite already being in her grip.

You didn't mind it at all. In fact, you were kind of glad for it. You were glad that she deemed you worthy enough to look back for. And you also seemed to enjoy the feeling of her strong calloused palms holding onto your colder, and much smaller ones. Buzzing warmth spread all over your body from the contact.

Although she tugged on your arms, she never pulled on it and let you walk at your own pace while you regarded the people with a keen eye, frowning deeply when you came upon a spray painted symbol of the Black Fury pirates on the passing walls.

The image had seemed to spook you for a little bit as Sevika noticed that your admiration for the dirty streets has been overtaken by something else. Your focus now shifted on arriving safely to Vander's home.

"We're almost there." Sevika mutters to you, translating your sudden gloominess to being tired and overwhelmed.

Sevika herself is not that big of a fan of chaos in the town. She favors bars and restaurants, sure. But the idea of having to be around so many people for too long have always put her on edge and increased her irritability.

She's more of a homebody, she'd say. But seeing how in awe you were of the vibrant streets and market had somehow forced her to see certain things from your point of view.

She took note of certain things that you looked at for longer than usual. The way your lips part open in pleasant surprise when being offered fresh fruits by stall sellers you've passed by in a flash, the way your eyes crinkle at the sight of rock-kicking children chasing around a dusty black cat.

And of course, the way your eyes lit up as you're met with the holy fish market, all in it's glory of sea water smell and middle aged mothers doing grocery shopping for their families.

The bar was much less full than you expected, probably because it was still morning. Only very few and sober customers were inside by the back booths being sheltered by the dim yellow lights above them. The moment you set your foot inside, you were greeted by two teenagers that came from the counter seats, welcoming the old man and Sevika with expecting smiles.

"Oh, well if it isn't the scary big shark coming to grace us with her prsence." The shorter, blue haired girl spoke.

She gave a half hug to Sevika before she slowly noticed your existence, quiet and careful behind her. "And, who's this?"

"A friend." Sevika spoke, too quickly for her own liking.

"Oh that can't be true, I thought Vander's your only friend." The redhead, who you assumed is the blue hatred girl's sister, responded.

Sevika rolled her eyes and dropped her bag on the floor before walking away with you still holding her hand. "I need a drink." She called out to the bartender as she seated herself down on the stools with you. “Of course you do.” The red head snorted.

"Whiskey neat for me and uh-" She glanced over at you and back at the bartender. "Do you got...juice-?" The bartender cringed. "Apple juice, that's it." He answers.

"Sure." Sevika sighed and nodded her head.

You didn't argue, but when your drinks came, you had slyly grabbed for hers first and tipped it over your lips before she could stop you.

Sevika stared at you with horror, watching you slam the glass back on the counter and began tearing out your throat with a violent and continous cough, hunching your back.

"Great." She groaned aloud. "Get me some water." She demanded from the bartender.

She lightly patted your back as you continued coughing up, amusement painted all over her face. "Your stubbornness is admirable, but it'll also be the cause of your death."

You chugged down the glass of water with relief while ignoring her words.

After enough time have passed, Sevika forced through the obvious elephant in the room and spoke first. "We'll be staying over here for tonight."

That part was clear to you. You looked widened your eyes in question, and then what?

Sevika wasn't sure either.

So instead of answering you, she changes the subject. standing up and clearing her throat, she then says; “I'm going to go put our stuff upstairs. But then after that. I was thinking that I could show you around, give you a little tour. How about that?"

You were unresponsive at first, mouth agape and brows furrowed in confusion. But then after a minute, you purse your lips close and gave a single nod. Sevika moved around you and grabbed the bags from the floor before disappearing up the stairs and away from your sight.

---

You're not sure how to feel at this very moment. It wasn't just Sevika and the impending doom of knowing you're about to be removed from her life. It was also the stupid symbol painted red on the fading pale walls you had witnessed a few minutes ago.

Sometimes it felt like no matter wherever you went, no matter how far you're willing to travel, the symbol will always follow from behind, haunting you for the rest for your life.

The last time you had a run in with the pirates was a year ago, at an unpopular island far away from Zaun. The incident has no significance to you.

What had really shaped your life was your first run in with them, as a baby.

There is truly no running from your past. Your mother had only managed to escape your father through death.

It was the classic selkie tale. Your poor mother had been kidnapped and forced into marriage with the pirate king of the Black Fury as he held onto her coat, making sure she'd be unable to escape.

She suffered for years by his side, and even after you came along, the sorrow and yearning for the sea never ended for her. And when the opportunity to snatch back her coat and her freedom appeared, your mother did not wait to claim the waves as hers again with little you following along.

Your peace didn't last long though, for they were relentless in tracking her down to the very ends of the worlds. And found her, they did.

You still remember pushing into the pulsing wound on your mother's chest as blood swims out freely after you've managed to remove the arrow from her skin.

He never tried to come for you. You're both glad and offended for that. You're glad that there's no target on your back, but you're offended that he perceives your existence as having so little value, being able to be so unaffected by the fact that he had robbed a child of its mother.

Sometimes it even feels like mockery when you keep bumping into them in every crook and corner of the earth you run to.

A wicked reminder of what he had ripped off of your arms. And even now, your father somehow manages to find his way into your life, mocking you as you're about to lose another person you care about.

You try to play it off for the whole damn time, but as you're sat at this squeaky stool, throat sore and apple juice untouched, all you really want to do is break down into tears.

You hear Sevika's faint footsteps nearing you and felt her hand on your shoulder seconds after.

Tilting your head up towards the woman, you're met with a certain softness in her face that she only reserves for you. She is silent at first, analysing your expression and trying to figure something out but not knowing what it exactly is.

"You ready?" She asks you then. You lifted yourself off the seat and beckoned at her to lead the way as a response.

You don't miss how she made sure to keep you on her right side and away from the open street. You noticed the flex of her palms and almost reached out for her hand first but managed to hold yourself back.

You would rather die than show to anyone else but yourself on how truly desperate for connection you really are on the inside. And so you waited for her fingers to find yours, but disappointingly, they don't.

"I thought I'd take you to the market first." Sevika says, breaking the silence. "It's less hectic this hour. If you think it's full now, wait till you see how it gets in the afternoon." It wasn't often that you'd get to see a nervous Sevika, and it was even less often that you'd get to see her rambling.

"It has like a shit ton of stuff you'd like- not that I really know what you like besides fish." She added with a short laugh. "But you're a girl, and girls usually like jewelry and sweet treats and shit, so yeah.",

“Shit” You repeated after her quietly before humming to yourself while keeping up with her steady pace. It hasn't even hit 12pm yet, but the sun is already scorching, it's heat being so strong that you're sure your skin could stretch and break under the direct streak of it.

You were grateful for the worn out roof shielding you and Sevika from the sun momentarily, but as you begin sweating from your forehead down to your back, reminiscence of the cold and welcoming sea comes in flashbacks at the back of your mind.

Being able to be one with the water again seems to be your only source of comfort for today. You find yourself peeking your head out to search for the sea once you reach the market entrance that's close to the shore.

Sevika waits for you to enter first, keeping herself close from behind. It was honestly hard for you to truly be immersed in the little shops when you can't help being incredibly aware of her presence.

It had never mattered before if she was watching you. But as of right now, you just couldn't shake off the feeling of having your every little movement be judged under her observation.

You wondered if the version of you she saw in her eyes, is the real you. You wondered if she truly sees you or if she's just seeing a skewered, misinterpreted version of you.

Well, at this point, it doesn't really matter now, does it?

Slowing down your steps, you start to notice a pattern in the stalls. They all are selling around the some thing for different prices.

One thing that looks attractive in this stall, will surely be found in a couple stalls upfront in a more expensive pricing range and maybe more choices of colour.

You lingered at the small jewelry stall that focuses on beaded bracelets and charms as a small purple bracelet attracts itself to you. It has a small seashell shaped charm in the middle with lilac and white beads around it.

The old lady selling it only offers you a warm smile as you window shopped on her collection.

"Do you want it?" Sevika asks. You quickly shook your head no but saw that she had already pulled out a few coins out of her left pocket before pouring them onto the old woman's hand.

"Take it." She cocked her head to the bracelet hanging right by your eyes. You pulled it off its hook and slipped it around your wrist with ease, grinning to yourself as it fits you perfectly.

"It's your color." Sevika complimented as she guided you forward, her hand stays on the small of your back.

"Thank you." You whispered gratuitously. She doesn't react as she doesn't hear you, but it doesn't matter as she will always know the words you never speak through the way you look at her. It's almost like you're interlinked with her.

---

The two of you spent the next 2 hours just walking hand in hand, trying out fruits on a stick and testing cheap perfumes on your wrists before picking your favourites and not buying any of them at all.

The conversations are kept short between you two, but it remained intimate somehow, real and vulnerable in a world that is anything but.

Sevika tells you about her favourite foods and how this market has been standing tall for over 30 years since she was still a child.

She had even graced you with a story on how she used to participate in thieving activities, pickpocketing topsiders that roamed the street and didn't know any better.

"Sometimes they don't even realise anything's missing." She tells you with a snort.

"It was all fun and games until one of them catches you in the act, though. These topsiders, they like to get the law involved. And contrary to popular belief, those ass kissers don't perform based on fairness."

You frowned at yourself. "You got caught?" You ask her, each syllables sounding mouthy as you spoke them. You can’t imagine Sevika ever getting caught with anything.

Sevika snickered. You don't miss the way her eyes widened slightly when she heard your voice, it always takes her by surprise. "The real question here is, how many times did I get caught?" By the bitterness in her tone, you're gonna assume it was a lot.

You feel your feet ache while walking on the street, exiting the market as it starts to get more crowded at the hour.

Sevika mentioned lunch and you could hear your stomach growl at the mention of grilled fish.

Bending down to rub the soles of your feet, Sevika stops at her tracks when she notices that you're no longer beside her. She sees you and poses a questioning look. "You good?" She asks.

You hummed lightly and decided to take the oversized slippers completely off. They never fit right since they belonged to Sevika, but either way, it has always been your nature to be barefeet.

You let out a relieved sigh and smiled at the feeling of your feet being met with the hot pavement that has been sunbathed for hours.

Sevika is amused at your antics but says nothing when you shoved the slippers into her arms before resuming your journey.

The place she takes you to next is familiar to Vander's bar, but has more space and people inside. The door rings with a small bell as she pushes it open. Sevika leads you to a small booth before heading over to the counter to order for you. It’s almost instinctive at this point. The need to take care of you. The ability to know your needs before you do. She came back soon after, sliding into the seat next to you instead of sitting opposite you.

“I um, got you the seafood set.” You nodded absentmindedly, pretending to care. There is an intense silence and awkwardness that builds itself between you and her. Sevika cracks her knuckles in anxiety, avoiding looking at you for a solid 4 minutes before eventually tilting her body to face you. You turn to face her too, pursing your lips into a small line as you wait for her to speak.Sevika opens her mouth and stutters. “I-I_” her mouth closes again, this time with her eyes too as she winces at her verbal failure. Your hand reaches out to lightly trace over her left hand that sat on the edge of the table.

Her eyes reopened as she lets out a deep exhale. “Hi.” You mumbled, starting the conversation for her. Her nose flared as a choked laugh escapes her. “Hey.” She responded.

“Do you know why we’re here?” She asks gently as she tries to read you. You say nothing, your whole body freezing at the question. Sevika lets the silence lingers for a few moments before she starts again. “I need to get you back home, sweetheart. I can’t keep you with me forever.”

Why not? You wanted to cry out to her. But instead you just stare at her, reactionless.

She keeps looking at you like she’s waiting for you to break, and when you don’t, she’s even more scared because she can’t tell how you’re feeling.

“Can you tell me anything? I could just give you to the enforcers, but I'd rather not do that.” It sounded like a threat, Sevika thought and silently cursed herself for it.

You turned your gaze downwards towards your lap, thinking to yourself. Then, you looked back at her and imitated writing on paper. Sevika got the message instantly and scrambled off her seat to find a piece of paper and a pencil. She returns victorious and slides the material towards you.

You hesitated with the pencil in your hands, knowing that whatever comes next will be a direct result of your confession. But you’ve reached the end of your rope, there’s nothing to grasp on anymore at this point anyways.

Sevika frowned as she watched you drawing a circle instead of writing. Her confusion fully formed into terror as you finished your sketch and slid the paper back to her.

She felt her throat tighten as she stares down at the drawing. “Do you know what this symbol means?” She asks, meeting your darkened gaze. You raised a brow as if to ask back; “do you?”

Sevika then pulled the paper into her hand before scrunching it into a ball, squeezing it with her fingers. “You’re with them? The pirates?” You shook your head and made an expression of disgust. “No? So you ran away from them?” She attempts again. “That’s how you ended up in the waters? Because you tried swimming away from them.”

Obviously that wasn’t an accurate representation of what happened, but that would be the easiest way to explain it to her. “I escaped.” You whispered out, voice cracking. Sevika’s intense look faltered as she stuffs the ball of paper into her jacket pocket and moved closer to you. She wanted to say something comforting, reassuring, but she wasn’t even sure if she was in a place to promise you anything at all.

The moment abruptly ended when the waiter appeared out of nowhere, placing two plates of hot meals before the both of you. In a flash, Sevika recollects herself, calming herself down as she returned to her initial seat and insisted you eat first before any more discussion is continued.

You were starving, and the sight of well cooked fish distracted you as quickly as a shark does its prey. Sevika had to force herself through every chew, her appetite had disappeared at the sight of the Black Fury symbol you had drawn out. She had so many questions, so many worries. Were you a fugitive then? Would you be killed if anyone from the crew spotted you? Would she?

Sevika watches as you devour the meal in such a short amount of time. How long had you been in the sea before you reached her lighthouse?

The ship couldn’t have been sailing anywhere near it, she would’ve seen it if it had. Your entire existence is a fucking mystery. She was intrigued as well as concerned. She has this strong nagging feeling in her chest that begs for her to protect you, a part of her that has long known what she refuses to admit. And that is the fact that she cared for you, more than one should for a stranger, or even a friend.

She wanted you too. Gods, she wanted you like nothing else. And that feeling scares the shit out of her.

And yet, attraction and all things emotional and possessive aside, the survival focused part of her is whispering in her ear to let you go. To give you up as soon as she could.

You have brought colors back into her life. You made her feel things she wasn’t sure she could still feel.

Think of all you’d lose if they discovered that you’ve been harbouring a fugitive. She urges herself.

Nothing much. She argues back. And it’s true. Sevika has already lost everything important to her. Everything except…you.

To know the exact shape of your hand against hers and never be able to feel the vreases of your palm and grip of your fingers again would feel like death itself. Even now, considering the idea of giving you up, made her feel broken, like all the air in her lungs have been ripped out of her chest. The Gods have already taken everything from her.

Once the heart is sure of what the mind isn’t, the pull would be hard to stray away from. How would she live now, in the cold and unwelcoming walls of the lighthouse?

Now that she has experienced what it was like to be warm again. Now that she knew exactly what she wanted from life. Because isn’t that what life is all about? To finally have wants again, and to live for the hope of it all.

Would it be selfish for her to ask for this one damned thing?

Just to be able to have you at arms length, always. To never know what it’s like waking up everyday being sure of your absence. I’m not asking for the whole world. She thought to herself.

But losing her would be the equivalent of losing herself and all the parts she have just learned existed in all the shabby, worn out corners of her deep and dark heart. It would break her. Is she so truly and very sinful that she deserved that?

The conversation was not brought up again by either of you once you were done eating, and the walk back was quiet as her hand held onto yours for the whole time. Her tired heart could not carry the conversation again, it would have to wait for the next day to come.

Now all she wanted was to hold you, to never see a world without you in it. And it is as if you feel the same way, with the way you lean into her touch and lets her keep you close.

—

Midnight strikes on the clock as Sevika wakes up with a gasp. Her arm reaches for you instinctively but finds only emptiness by her side on the small bed.

Her paranoia is halted as she finds you by the window. As you always are, even in the lighthouse. Sevika smiled to herself as she admired her view. She gently pushes herself the covers off and walks herself to your small standing figure.

Once you two arrived back at Vander's place, you had quickly went upstairs while she discussed the new information with Vander.

His face turned grim once he saw what was drawn on the crumpled piece of paper she had pulled out of her pocket.

Sevika knew Vander. He would never tell her to give you up, and yet she could still see through his facade and knew that he was afraid.

Neither of them had a solid answer on what the right thing to do is. It's all about perspective at the end of the day, isn't it?

Right and wrong. It all depends on whose perspective you're seeing it from.

You didn't flinch when she grasped your shoulder and remained unmoving as you stared off at the small view of the sea. There’s longing in your eyes. Your brows are knitted together as you stare away. “You miss it don’t you?” She mutters softly, snaking an arm around your waist.

Sevika sighed out softly as your back fell against her chest. “I miss it too.” And she did. She especially missed the mundane days of daily cleaning and fixing while you lurked near her like a little shadow, thinking you're subtle when you're not.

Your fingers wrap around hers as they remain on your waist, an acknowledgment.

“You know, at first I only ever took the job as a way to punish myself.” You frowned at her words, still looking out.

“I wasn’t a good person before you, never claimed I was” She murmured against your shoulder, grazing her lips gently on the cotton of your shirt. “I don't even think I'm a good person now.” She's not. She's selfish with the way she refuses to let you go.

“The lightkeeper before me went mad.” Sevika spoke.

“A shipwreck happened by the rocks, and no boats or help came until only two months later. He tried to find survivors by himself but failed. The bodies, their mangled and bloody state, it haunted him.” You tilted your head slightly, your gazes connecting as her head found safe haven in the crook of your neck.

“The stench…they said it covered the whole tower. And when they finally found him, he was just a shell of a man, out of his fucking wits.”

Your chest tightened at the visual imagery of her story. “When they explained what happened, I thought to myself; oh that’s perfect, just what I need.” A bitter laugh followed after her words. Your frown deepened as you felt sadness enter your heart.

“What a masochist, I know.”

“But then, as the months passed and routine formed, I realized it wasn’t so bad after all. It's isolating, sure. But I've always managed to feel alone even in a room full of people. The only difference now is I can see it as much as I feel it.”

“And then…” She trails off. “And then my first body appeared. You.” You twisted your neck up to lock eyes with her. “And gods did you haunt me as much as that poor man was haunted.”

There was sadness in the way she carried herself tonight. The way she held onto you like she'd never see you again. Was that the plan, then?

To lay everything out in the open one last time, in case the opportunity doesn't present itself anytime in the future?

You couldn't say anything even if you wanted to. There was desperation in the way you gawked up at her, yearning that clawed on your chest. And so you did the second best thing you could next to talking and closed the distance between you two.

Sevika had no hesitation once you’ve captured her lips with yours. Her metal hand found its place on the side of your face, cradling your cheek softly as her right arm brought you closer to her, gripping your waist with need.

The kiss was hot and passionate. You fit against her like she’s been moulded specifically for your body. Her tongue darted out and wetted your bottom lip. Gasping out softly and melting into her arms, Sevika snuck her tongue inside your mouth. You held onto the back of her head like holding onto reins and pulled on her hair. making her groan into the kiss.

Sevika is tireless now, her craving for you is carnal. Turning you to the side until you back bet the glass window, Sevika only broke off the kiss to attach herself on your neck instead. Her arms travel lower until she’s able to lift you higher and position herself in between your thighs as your legs wrap against her waist easily. Her grip on you is bruising, but you wanted all of it, the pain and intensity, everything that came with her.

Sevika tries to be gentle as her teeth finds the sensitive point of your neck, but as you whine against her, all of her composure fell apart. She bit into your neck and sucked into it, eager to mark you. Your nails dig into her back, making her moan into your skin.

She needed to become one with you, needed to be the one to make you fall apart. Needed to be the only one who knew how you'd look and sounded like in such a vulnerable position.

And she knew that you needed it too. Sevika would give you what you wanted, even if it's the last thing she'd do.

The next day, Sevika was woken up by the harsh streak of sunlight and you were nowhere to be found.

[astrologydayz]

NORTH NODE IN HOUSES - SYNASTRY💜

North Node in partners 1st house makes the house person find out who they really are in this lifetime, by the help of the North node person. North node person will help the first house person 2 come out of their shell and be who they truly are🫶☝. A good friendship placement but not that good for a relationship - North Node person is enamoured by the first house person but will probably leave after first house person has learned everything North Node wanted 2 teach them in this life. Unless u got prominent south node aspects = then u could stay together for a lifetime, cuz it's really comfortable and familiar - NN adds spice then😌😌.

North Node in partners 2nd house makes the house person want to be stable, earn money and focus on being secure with the help of the North Node person ofc🏡💰💸. North Node pushes the house person to be independent, and not be depending on anybody. They can create a good stable future, with good aspects. House person may first start 2 earn real money when North Node person comes in. North Node could also bring financial stability 2 house person.

North Node in partners 3rd house makes the conversations with each other insane🤯🤯🤯. House person feels like they found someone they can connect with on a mental level. North Node person can make house person question things like their mentality, how they communicate&speak, siblings, cars, neighbourhood, and stuff like that. House person may feel like North Node is the first person who actually understands them.

North Node in partners 4th house makes the house person feel like they finally found home😍😍, and can take a rest now that they found someone that they can count on. North Node may be the first "family" that the house person will have, North Node can also remind the house person of someone from their family. North Node will create that family space with, or for the house person🦋🦋🦋🦋.

North Node in partners 5th house makes the house person have the best time of their life!!! North Node can show house person how to have fun, and maybe have a whirlwind affair 👀❤️‍🔥. Kids could be involved but then you'll probably co parent at some point. After they experienced everything they can together, they 9/10 times get bored. But you'll remember it FOREVER!! it's something you look back on, and smile at, at an old age👵.

North Node in partners 6th house makes the North Node person create a stable, and safe routine for the house person. They can train a lot together, be super fit🏋️‍♀️🏋🤼 or North Node is here to help house person move on from something, and on to a stable routine. House person may have felt stuck, or in between jobs before they met North Node person. Their relationship could be all about working out, living together, work, &ordinary things like that ❤.

North Node in partners 7th house makes the house person feel like they found their soulmate 🥺🥺🥺, Someone they can really love, but also make business deals, and contracts with. North Node could be the first person the house person has a real relationship with 👫. House person feels very appreciated. This placement reminds me of the movie The Notebook🥺🥺, very loyal to each other 🤞💛.

North Node in partners 8th house makes the house person feel like they found their fucking therapist!! and ride or die. Bonnie and Clyde energy right here🔫🩸, got secrets for life. House person feels like the North Node person can read them like a book - they really don't need 2 explain themselves, or justify themselves. They just get each other. They can have crazy, and violent fights but they'll ride for each other till the day one of them dies. North Node can show all parts of their kind of underworld 2 house person, and they'll rise together when they come out❤️‍🔥.

North Node in partners 9th house is all about learning baby. 9th house feels like their "mentor"/teacher stepped in, when they met North Node person👽👽👽. North Node person feels like this "bigger than life" person 2 house person, and preaches a lot 2 house person about right, or wrong typically - wants 2 "guide" them. House person could either find that really nice, or really annoying❌❌. Religion is probably a big factor, could be same religion, and they're just really passionate about it together, or VERY different religions that can cause issues between them🌓🌓.

North Node in partners 10th house makes the house person feel like their social image probably went up, when North Node person came in🥂🥇. North Node could make the house person a star, or a nice trophy wife/husband. They can be big in the world of money, fame, business, and they look fire together. They earn a lot more together, than apart. A real power house. They'll be together 4 a long time typically, and they'll have each others back when everyone is watching🎬🎬.

North Node in partners 11th house makes the house person feel like they found a best friend 4 life💃💃💃. They share big dreams together, and probably humanitarian ones 2. They most of the time share the same friend group - or they could have met through friends❤️. Could also have met on social media tho📱📱. They could be out together a lot in public, and everyone knows about their friendship. North Node can take the house person to a new friend group! collaborations = big deal here🤌🤌.

North Node in partners 12th house could make the house person dream about North Node person, before North Node even came into the house persons life✨. House Person typically feels an unexplainable soul connection towards NN - they could already be united in 5D🪐🪐. House person can start/could have started their spiritual journey when North Node person comes/came in. Karmic is the term I would use here. Can be unstable, but they always come back together 🙅‍♀️🙅❤️‍🩹.

Always look at aspects from NN 2 house person's chart, & always look at both natal charts2 beforehand, 2know exactly how it'll play out!!!

REPOST OF A POST FROM MY OLD BLOG!

THANKS4READING BABE!!

Appreciate u , always💘

[xzaddyzanakinx]

Not That Kind of Guy

Part Eighteen: Stalker!Anakin Skywalker × femme reader series

Warnings: stalking, weirdo behavior, psychotic/delusional behavior, possessive/protective, sexism/misogyny, sexual content/fantasizing, pervy behavior, panty/scent kink, mask kink(Ghostface), gaslighting/manipulation, public/semi-public, spitting, cumplay, nude vids/pics, masturbation, oral, PIV, dick piercing, forced orgasm, bondage/blindfolds, biting/slapping/ spanking/cutting, rape kink, NONCON/DUBCON/CNC, Somno, blood, knife, GEN. SMUT, period sex, brief mention of cannibalism/maggots[All possible tags listed, all may not apply] warning: suicidal ideation

Info: Anakinnnn your misogyny is showing, he’s insanely manipulative like so much more than normal[diary entries from Ani] extremely not proofread.MDNI 18+

September 16th 4:00ish am

Anakin returned from the shower quickly, his dark hair being ruffled up with his towel as he walked into the bedroom where you waited for him, tucked in on your side of the bed with the tv still playing softly in the background.

“Ready to talk?” Anakin gave you a lopsided smile, crawling up on the bed and joining you under the covers. He leaned back against the headboard and pulled you close, up under his arm.

“Ready.” You nodded quietly, unsure of where this conversation was headed and if you even wanted to find out.

“You look a little green around the gills sweetheart, you okay?” He asked, petting your cheek with the back of his hand.

“I’m okay Ani, I’m just… anxious I guess.” You said softly, trying to reassure him with a small smile but only making him worry more by your reaction.

“Hey, don’t stress.” He said, kissing the top of your head, nuzzling into your hair. “It’s nothing scary.”

“Look, I know I should’ve told you this a long time ago.” He whispered, holding your hand and running his thumb over your knuckles. “I love you and I promise I’ll understand if you get upset after hearing this. You’ve every right to punch me in the face.”

“I’m not gonna punch you in the face.” You breathed a little laugh.

“That’s yet to be decided.” He sighed, squeezing you against his chest with his free arm. “So, you remember how my mom was all odd about stuff when you met her?”

“I wouldn’t say she was ‘odd’ about stuff.” You shook your head and opened your mouth to speak again, but you were interrupted.

“She was much more odd when she called me over for a side bar.” He chuckled, using his forefinger and thumb to tilt your face up by your chin. “She was pissed off that I hadn’t told you that I take a few daily meds.

“Anakin! What if something had happened and I didn’t know, you could-“

“I’m not a closet diabetic or anything, it’s nothing too serious, I won’t die without it.” He stopped you by rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip. “Cute that you thought of that though.”

“It’s cute that I worried my boyfriend could’ve died?” You huffed.

“From my point of view yeah.” He smiled, his dimple making an appearance.

“Back to the seriousness though, princess.” He said softly. “I take a mood stabilizer, I ran out and I have to go see my doctor to get the prescription refilled. I’ll have to start seeing them every month again.” He sighed, almost wincing in preparation for your response.

“That’s it?” You asked with eyebrows in a low confused swoop. “That’s what you’re worried I’d punch you in the face for? Anakin that’s not even worth a flick to the forehead.” You snorted.

“You’re not mad?” He asked, surprised.

“I’m annoyed, irritated.” You admitted, pulling your lips into a sideways frown. “You could’ve just told me. I wouldn’t have judged you for it. That’s silly.”

“You’re not mad, like at all?” He repeated himself as though he expected this to be an argument.

“No I’m not mad.” You shook your head. “Disappointed that you didn’t think you could tell me… yes.”

“Oh sweetheart it’s not that I-“ he groaned, pressing his hands over his eyes. “I wish I would’ve told you to begin with. It’s just that I’ve had some negative reactions before and I guess I wanted to make sure you were in it for the long haul… you know?”

“I just didn’t expect that I’d be having to tell you because I’ve been a fucking asshole.” He said apologetically. “I think that’s why I’m so surprised. Baby, I’ve not been myself but I promise I’ll be right back to where I should be after my appointment okay?”

“Do you want me to come with you?” You asked, trying to offer him support.

“What? Why would you want to-“

“Because you’re my boyfriend and I care about you?” You said a bit more sharply than intended, your hand on his chest.

“I… well,” he swallowed as though he were more nervous now than he was to begin with. “It’s just that I’ll have to you know; talk about stuff with my doctor.”

“Mhm, yeah that’s what you do at a doctors appointment.” You nodded with a smirk.

“Smartass.” He huffed. “Anyway, I suppose you’re owed at least that aren’t you? After not having known about it.”

“Anakin that’s ridiculous you don’t ‘owe’ me anything because of this.” You laughed tiredly. “If you don’t want me to go I won’t, I just wanted to offer support.

“You’re an Angel you know that?” He grinned, pulling you into his chest and wiggling around until he was laying on his back with your head tucked under his chin. “You can come with me. If you don’t mind sitting in the waiting room.”

“Are you kidding? I love waiting rooms, seven year old magazines, weird little old lady asleep in the corner, secretary who plays solitaire instead of working…” You grinned.

“Man you’re making me wanna trade places.” He clicked his tongue with a chuckle.

“So, what’s your diagnosis?” You asked after a silent moment, changing the subject back to the serious side of the topic.

“What?” He stiffened, shifting to look over at you, his chin tucked against his shoulder.

“Well you’re on a mood stabilizer, what’s your diagnosis? It’s not a big deal, my sister’s husband has bipolar.” You shrugged, noticing the way his energy grew colder.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your b-“ he started, stopping to breathe through his nose. “Sorry.”

“I just hate labeling stuff like that you know? There’s such a stigma around mental health. It’s a chemical imbalance in my brain, not a fucking mind controlling parasite or something scary like that.” He grumbled, lips in a thin line while he clenched his teeth.

“I didn’t mean to make you upset or-“

“I’m not upset!” He snapped and let out a burst of air from his nostrils. “I’m not- not upset. I just don’t want this to be a thing you know?”

“A thing?” You questioned.

“Yeah. A thing, an issue, a problem.” He clarified, rolling his eyes. “It’s always been something that everyone blames shit on. I wake up grumpy ‘Anakin did you take your medicine?’. I complain about standing in a line at the fucking coffee shop ‘Ani, sweetie, are you doing okay?’. I don’t answer the phone on the first ring ‘Ani! I was so worried. Do you need me to come visit? Take care of things?’. It’s just all a matter of time before-“

“Oh no sir.” You stopped him, a scowl on your face. “Absolutely not. Don’t you dare tell me I’m gonna start nagging you like I’m your mother.”

“That’s not what-“

“No, that’s stupid okay? Listen I know it sucks to be questioned like that but she’s only doing it cause she cares about you.” You said, propping yourself up on your elbow. “Now that I know… I trust you’ll tell me if there’s anything going on I should know about.”

“You don’t answer to your mother anymore and if she or anyone else has questions they can talk to me.” You said sternly. Anakin stared at you, lips parted slightly. Even in the dark you could see his pupils dilate a little more.

“That was hot.” He said, smirk pulling at the corner of his lips. “When did you get so bossy?”

“You are the company you keep.” You shrugged, a light smile on your face.

“Callin’ me bossy? Rude.” He chuckled.

“Maybe, maybe not.” You huffed out a little laugh.

”You know…” He whispered, breath warm as it fanned across your cheek, “I could be really bossy if you want.” His voice deep and rumbling in his chest, the vibrations resounding in your own, pressed against his.

”You did so good for me earlier, let me pay you back babydoll.” His husky words stoking the flame in your womb. He shifted, pressing his cock against your hip and grinding, one hand trailing down your back, over your ass and gripping the back of your thigh to pull over him, manhandling you until you perched over his throbbing member. You could feel the heat emanating from it even through your clothes, making your mouth water.

”Ani, it’s so late.” You whispered, nibbling the skin on your lower lip as you prepared to turn him down… again. “I can suck you off if you want.” You offered as an alternative.

“Are you fucking serious? ‘If i want’? You make it sound like a chore.” He groaned frustratedly, gently shoving you off his lap. “You know what? Never mind.”

”I’ll just do it my damn self, like I have been since you came back.” He snapped at you, getting up from the bed and slamming the bedroom door shut as he left the room.

He was much angrier about the denial than you expected, so angry that he was feeling spiteful. Stomping over to the couch he sat himself down and fumed for a moment before deciding a course of action. Looking down at his phone, the album of your many homemade pornos calling his name. He wanted to screen mirror it to the TV, curious if you’d recognize your own moans and sloshing pussy and come running.

He licked his top row of teeth, The devious thought now at the forefront of his mind and there was no stopping him. He grabbed the remote and screen mirrored his phone to the TV, something he’d done a shameful nuimber of times to these very videos without your knowledge. He turned up the sound enough that you could hear it, but the poor neighbors sharing his living room wall would be spared.

He selected one of his favorites and exited the album to prepare the rest of his plan before steeping into action. Anakin tugged at his boxers and spit in the palm of his hand, slicking up his painfully neglected dick, shivering at the feeling of the well deserved friction that you had denied him. Hitting play he watched as Ghost shoved you to your knees on your bedroom floor, wasting no time at all in shoving his cock down your pretty throat and brutalizing your delicate mouth.

He loved the view, being able to see himself doing such things to you. It was as close to an out of body experience he’d ever gotten. He firmly gripped his shaft, spreading his precum over his cockhead with his thumb. Groaning at the feeling of the calloused skin on such a soft, silky, sensitive part of himself. The beautiful noises you made, choking and gagging as you tried to breathe through your nose, it was like he was transported right back to that moment, seeing it in real time all over again.

This part was for him, just a warm up, just enough to get himself more needy than he already was. He wanted to look as pitiful as he felt when you came barreling out of the bedroom to confront him. He edged himself until he was sick of it, until he was so sensitive that his tip leaked, his balls tightened with every few strokes and he felt as though if he didn’t cum he might throw up.

He flicked over to the next video, another favorite, one he watched so often that if it were on DVD the damn thing wouldn’t play anymore. The one time Ghost stripped himself naked for you, let you feel the warmth of his skin against yours. It was dirty, sensual, dare he even say… romantic? He could feel the connection you shared through the screen each and every time he saw it. Imagining what was going on in that stupid little brain of yours when he hears the first gasp, your realization he was baring himself to you. He wondered if you were nervous, if the idea of it scared you, if it made it all the more real for you like it did for him. That barrier of fabric removed, nothing restricting your soft skin from touching his, he wondered if that’s the moment it set in for you that Ghost was more than a fantasy. He was flesh and blood just like you.

——————————————————————————

You sat in bed where Anakin had left you, unable to comprehend his reaction. You stared at the door, expecting him to come back in a moment after he’d cooled off. He’d apologize, you’d forgive him, everything would be fine. After all, you understood the awful mood swings now. This wasn’t entirely your fault. You were just that catalyst.

Though he didn’t come back. You checked your phone in hopes you’d see a message that maybe he was on the fireescape smoking and he’d be right back after his cigarette, ready to hold you as you fell asleep. That’s all you wanted, some comfort. On top of everything else that had happened this past week, you’d started your period. It was no wonder you’d been extra emotional, overly worried and over thinking every minuscule aspect of the goings on in your life. The hands of fate had decided you needed one more punch to the face in the form of blood and pain.

Poetic justice for the blood you’d spilt? Not likely, but it was in close enough in probability for it to have made you laugh the day before yesterday when you’d spotted in your favorite pair of panties.

You had almost calmed yourself from the stress of you current situation when you heard low grunting from the living room, paired with a lewd gagging noise. Porn. He was watching porn rather than taking you up on your offer of oral pleasure. Not only was it a slap to the face, it was a backhanded one at that, realizing it was too loud to be played on his phone. He was replacing you with a pornstar on the hi-def flatscreen in the living room, a perfect picture of a perfect girl that could never be you.

You had half a mind to go in there and ask him what the hell he was thinking, how could he be so cruel… but you stopped yourself. He was fully in his right to watch porn whenever he wanted. Who were you to tell him he couldn’t satisfy himself? That would be insane, it’d be a breach of privacy and a horrible misuse of trust. How awful would you be to tell him to stop when you’ve been fucking around behind his back for the entirety of your relationship?

So you sat and stewed, torturing yourself with images of him touching himself. His large hands, the ripple of muscle in his arm when he stroked his shaft, the noises he made, the way his pretty blue eyes would flutter shut as his head fell back, plump lips being bitten to keep quiet. It was all you could do not to burst into tears. Your couldn’t imagine someone else giving him that kind of pleasure. It made you sick. Even if it was only a woman on screen it felt like betrayal, even more so because he chose her over you.

“You’re a horrible, awful human being” You whispered to yourself, sucking in a breath as the crushing weight of all your transgressions impacted your fragile mind state.

The thought of him feeling this way was more than enough to break your heart. You had no right to cry, not after everything you’ve done. These weren’t your tears threatening to spill. These were Anakin’s. This awful stomach churning, head busting, throat closing pain; was Anakin’s, not yours. This is what he’d feel if he ever discovered what you’d been doing.

He would see the same images you did, only his torturous slideshow would be starring you. Your face scrunching up in pleasure, your mewls and whines as another man fills the sweet pussy he thought belonged only to him. He’d see the flushed face and embarrassed giggle you make when he stares so deeply into your eyes he feels his head swim… then it would be ruined by the thought of someone else doing the very same. Someone else making you cry out for more, someone else making you shake, someone else kissing away the salty tears he so loved to see stain your cheeks after he’d made a mess of you. Tainted, irreparably destroyed and desecrated in a way that could never be forgiven.

He wouldn’t be able to see anything else but your betrayal when he set his eyes on you.

Just as you were coming to terms with that fact, another hit you hard in the gut. Bile rising up in your throat and burning yout nostrils as you forced yourself to swallow it back down. What about Ghost? Is this how he has felt throughout it all? The room spun with the idea that you could’ve been causing him such agonizing pain for so long. He’d seen it all. He had been looking after you long before Anakin entered the picture. He had to watch from the shadows as you fell in love with someone else. He was subjected to the very things you’d just played through in your mind.

He had been watching another man touch the woman he loved. The woman he loved so much that he was willing to do anything and everything on earth to see you, keep you, hold you. The woman he treated like royalty in his own way, unconventional to most but… when he called you a goddess you felt like one. How else would you have been lucky enough to be loved by a man like him and to be loved by a man like Anakin at the same time? How horribly fitting.

A perfect example of the tragedies of old. Hubris of the gods always causing chaos for the weaker beings on the earth below. You’d been watching from a chaise in the clouds, peering down at the two heroes fighting for your affections. Only one having knowledge of the competition, a champion as they’re often called; a fighter who has the favor of a deity. A mortal with no knowledge of the battle they’re in… will most certainly befall a gruesome death at the hands of the devine’s champion.

You held your head in your hands, taking calming breaths. This is exactly the kind of thing you were reprimanding yourself for earlier. Overthinking. Over analyzing. Putting yourself and others in it, in a scrutinizing environment that would only lead to a downward spiral.

“It’s fine. I’m fine. Nothing is going to happen. Everything always works out in the end.” You promised yourself.

You shook yourself from the self inflicted suffering, thinking maybe a drink of cool water and possibly a retch over the toilet might help stop the icepick hacking away at your brain, pressure building behind your eyes to from the world’s worst headache. As you stood, you slowly became aware of the change in sound coming from the living room. It had went quiet a few minutes ago, but now it seemed…

”Are you fuckin-“ Anakin was watching another video. You’d wrongfully assumed the break in sex noises meant that he was finished and would come back to bed, though it seemed he had plans to stay busy for the next little bit.

You huffed, reminding yourself that its fine, everything is fine. Just take a deep breath, put one foot in front of the other, and-

“What the hell was that?” You thought, ears tuning into something intimately familiar as your hand hovered over the door knob.

There is no way. No possible way that Anakin could’ve gotten his hands on that footage of his own accord… right? This was it, this was the end of it all, the beginning of the fall of the greatest era of your life. Ghost had done it, he’d sent him the videos. How stupid could you have been to believe he didn’t have cameras here too? Did you really believe he wasn’t going to monitor the other man in your life?

He’d heard the argument. He’d seen Anakin storm off, watched as he… touched himself. Then used your own actions against you; this wasn’t a coincidence that the very night you searched for Ghostface porn, research purposes or not, that an explicit video of you with not your boyfriend ends up on the tv where said boyfriend is jacking off.

Surely you’re imagining it right? You’ve just worked yourself up into a tizzy and now you’re hearing things because of your overwhelming guilt. Yes, that’s it. It’s all in your head. You’ve heard Ghost speak so many times that it’d be silly of you not to be able to conjure up an exact replica of his voice and exact words you’d heard from behind his mask before. You know what your own moans sound like, of course you do. Doesn’t everyone?

You grab the door knob and twist it open, pushing open with more force than necessary and bracing yourself for the possibility that Anakin may be on the other side of it ready to kick you out and never let you come back. But the sounds you heard on the other side of the door didn’t sound like you and Ghost. It didn’t sound like porn of any kind. It sounded like… Dale Gribble?

”Ani?” You asked quietly, poking your head around the corner, your eyes adjusting to the different lighting to reveal him curled up in the corner of the sofa, wrapped in a blanket.

“Huh?” He sniffled. He’d been crying?

You’d imagined it. He hadn’t done anything at all. He’s been sitting in here, alone, sobbing over his bong and an empty beer bottle while watching Comedy Central. The poor boy had tried to take his mind off the subject of his weirdly behaving girlfriend by watching King of the Hill. You’d never seen someone close to rock bottom before, but Anakin looked like he had just booked an express ticket for the earliest train.

”Sorry, I uh… what are you doing?” You asked cautiously approaching him, your gaze flickering to the TV suspiciously.

”I’m just… moping.” He cleared his throat, hiding his burning hot face in the crook of his arm. “I’m sorry doll, I feel stupid getting so upset over this. It’s not fair to you.”

“Anakin, are you okay?” You asked as you sat down next to him, your hand on his chest to feel his rapid heartbeat and heaving lungs.

“Sweetheart, is there something you’re not telling me?” Anakin asked and your heart bounced out of your chest.

”What? I don-“

”It’s just… I can’t help but feel a bit insecure.” His voice soft and hurt. “You won’t give me a straight answer as to why you won’t let me touch you. I miss you baby.”

”Ani it’s got nothing to do with you I promise.” You whispered, wanting him to lay his eyes on you, but he kept them downturned.

”But its… It’s been since before your trip, I just worry. Are you sure I didn’t do something?” He asked, finally looking over at you with big watery eyes, the salty tears spilling over into a stream down his hot cheeks.

“Anakin, let’s not rehash this again.” You pleaded, taking his trembling hand in yours. “Yes I was upset when I came back from my trip, that made me less inclined to want to be… intimate.”

“So, so what’s wrong n-now?” He sniffled, swiping the heel of his palm over his cheeks.

“I’m not upset Ani, I just… I’m on my period and I just don’t fe-“ He sat up slightly and cupped your cheek.

”Babydoll, Why didn’t you just say so?” Anakin asked in a pained tone, like he was deeply perturbed you kept that detail to yourself. “I’ve been beating myself up thinking I’d done something to upset you or-or make me less attractive to you.”

”Oh, no don’t say that, no. You’re so handsome, hottest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on.” You gave him a small, reassuring smile. “I will never not be attracted to you.”

”I’ve just been so emotional and I’ve been cramping and everything hurts, I’m tired and period sex is so messy Ani.” You said as nicely as possible so you wouldn’t set him off again.

”Darlin’ you know I don’t mind a little blood,” he chuckled, sucking in a breath through his nose. “I’ve helped you with your cramps before, let me help now.” He said softly, rubbing your cheek bone with his thumb.

”Feel me sweetheart… it hurts me.” He whined, taking your hand to place it over his cock.

So hot, throbbing and covered in precum that you could feel the sticky wet patch where his cockhead rested against the fabric of his boxers. He felt so stiff that you knew immediately he hadn’t cum, maybe he hadn’t even attempted to take care of the issue hisself like you assumed.

“Anakin, I thought you… you know?” You asked quietly, eyebrows pinched in concern.

“I tried.” He sniffed, looking away with an air of embarrassment surrounding him. “Couldn’t do it.”

“Why not?” Your voice soft and warm, an attempt to soothe him.

“C-cause you were right there n’ all I could th-think about was y-you not wantin’ me.” He whimpered, his bottom lip in a pout as he frowned, taking in a choppy breath.

“Aw Ani, I’m sorry.” You whispered, reaching over to touch his face. “Let me see, let me help you.”

“It’s okay babydoll, I-I’ll just wait for it to go down.” He bit his lip, taking a throw pillow from the couch beside him to put over his lap, hiding his raging erection.

“No,” You shook your head, feeling awful for how you’d denied him for such silly reasons, you should’ve known better. “I want to. Please let me?”

“Y-you really do?” He asked with a pitifully hopeful tone that nearly knotted your stomach.

“Of course I do.” You said softly, nodding your head for his reassurance. “Just uh, I gotta go to the bathroom real quick to take out my tampon.” You said, almost bashfully.

“You’re gonna let me?” He asked with knitted eyebrows, his face twisted in a sense of surprise and maybe disbelief. “You’re gonna let me make love to you?”

“If that’s what you want.” You nodded, folding your lips behind your teeth before letting them roll back out.

“Please.” He nodded, nearly falling over as he scooped you up and took you to the bedroom. “Thank you baby, thank you.” He whispered repeatedly as if he couldn’t express his gratitude enough.

“Wait I gotta-“ You let out a little giggle at his eagerness despite being the cause of it.

“Don’t care. I’ll get it.” His voice came out low and raspy as he lay you down with your legs hanging over the end of the bed. You tried scooting yourself upright and he stopped you, a gentle hand placed on your stomach to keep you were he wanted.

“Ani, please, let me go to the bathroom.” You whined, unsure about how you’d handle being so vulnerable with him. It’s one thing to be intimate while on your period but an entirely different matter when it comes to another person, even one you trust, to remove your tampon.

“I’ll be careful.” He whispered, tugging off your shorts and panties in one go, reaching behind him to pull over his small bedroom trash can that he kept near the closet.

Gently, carefully he very slowly parted your folds, giving him full access to your most intimate place. He licked his thumb, running it back and forth over your clit with his other hand poised to take action.

“Ready? I promise I’ll be so careful.” His tone made it seem less of a question and more of a finality. He was going to remove it regardless of your answer. He confirmed that prediction by tugging carefully on the string at your opening.

“So fuckin’ sexy.” He whispered into the plushness of your inner thigh as he placed soft kisses there to soothe you while removing it carefully as promised.

With it tossed in the trash, Anakin jumped into one of his very favorite things to do; feast on your pussy. His tongue snaked it’s way from your weeping hole all the way up to your clit. Letting out a low, wanton moan he buried his tongue as deeply as possible into your cunt, slurping and teasing your entrance before plunging back inside, repeating the process over and over again until he had you squirming.

“Pussy’s so sweet.” He mumbled, humming contentedly like he was prepared to do that for the rest of all time and throughly enjoy every sinful second.

His hands found your hips, elbows bent to keep your legs open for him. His thumbs gently pressing down in massaging circles meant to help relieve your muscles from cramps. You can’t deny that it does help, you’ve almost forgotten the real reason you’d been fending off his advances, almost angry at Ghost- yourself for being the reason you had denied yourself this pain relief.

“Relax pretty girl, you’re so tense.” He whispered pulling back to look up at you, “gotta enjoy this while you can… I can wait much longer.” He smiled apologetically, he hated not being able to take his time, but you understood.

“It’s okay Ani,” you panted, lacing your fingers through his hair to draw him back to where you needed him most. “y-you can-“

“Really? Thanks sweetheart.” He chirped, hopping up from his kneeling position and pulling you toward him as he stood at the foot of his bed.

He didn’t wait for you to finish speaking, he didn’t listen to your nonverbal cue, he simply ripped off his shirt and boxers; revealing his horribly red and irritated cock. The tip covered in precum, shiny and dripping a fresh bead that glistened in the lamp light. He really wasn’t kidding when he said it hurt, you almost felt a sympathy pain for him at the sight of it.

“Oh Anakin, oh I’m so sorry.” You whispered, propping yourself up on your elbows to take off your shirt that he’d left on in his rush. “I didn’t realize…”

“Shh, shh.” He hushed you, cleaning the bloody slick from his chin, running his palm across his skin to smear it on his chest. “S’okay. S’fine.” He shook his head.

Running the heated tip through your dampness, nudging your clit before pushing inside slowly as he shivered. The simple act of being enveloped by your warm, welcoming walls had him biting down on his whitened knuckles to keep himself from bursting then and there.

“So good.” He whined, rutting into you with shallow thrusts, bringing the crook of your knees to rest over his shoulders. “So damn good, wet n’ sloppy for me. S-so pretty, such a pretty red.” He whimpered, pulling out completely to stroke himself just once, gathering up the bloody mixture to lick from his hand with a disgusting fervidity.

“Ani.” You chided, a slight grimace on your face. You didn’t necessarily find it gross, but it was definitely embarrassing.

“I love you, every part of you.” He said, his voice needy and squeaky. “Even this.”

“Don’t stop me from doing what I love.” He said, gripping your thighs against his chest, leaning forward slightly to speed up his pace.

Anakin’s breathing was shallow and choppy, like he was having trouble remembering to breathe, as if the only thing his brain was capable of was keeping up with how hard and fast he was pounding into you.

“Ah-s-slow please.” You hiccuped, being jostled up and down from the roughness, bracing yourself by gripping the edge of the bed.

“Can’t.” He shook his head frantically, his bottom lip quivering as he bit down to hide it from you.

“You okay Ani?” You asked with concern through halted speech.

“Mhm.” He nodded, his face growing pink as he squeezed his eyes shut. Anakin was trying so hard not to cry. Cry from the overwhelming need to cum, the overstimulation he’d forced on himself, and from how his thousandth declaration of love seemed to fail at chipping away your defenses once again.

He wasn’t trying to please you in this moment, this was completely for his benefit. The release he so desperately needed was just within his reach and nothing and no one could stop him from claiming it. He’d waited too long, been uncomfortably suffering since he stormed out of the bedroom and now that he was back, he didn’t think you’d mind being a little… used.

“S-sorry doll, sorry.” He hiccuped, hearing you mewl and feeling your nails dig into his shoulders as you took the beat he so lovingly doled out. “Can’t help it, m’sorry.”

He dropped your legs to hang at his sides, sliding both his arms beneath you to press you against himself in a tight squeeze, one hand on your shoulder and the other on your hip, both gripped firmly in his strong hands, fully securing you in his arms.

“I wanna be close to you.” He whispered, nuzzling into your neck as his cock slid smoothly in and all the way out of your soaked pussy, just to repeat the movement again at an inhumane speed and depth. The tip not just kissing your cervix, but most certainly bruising it from the bullying motion. “Need to be close to you, s’not enough.”

“Can’t get any closer than this Ani.” You breathed out a light laugh after taking in a sharp gasp.

“Wish I could.” He sniffled, his hips stuttering as his stomach tightened and he was no longer able to hold his tears at bay.

“I love you.” He whispered, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and dropping in small puddles across your shoulder and collar bone. He tried to silence himself by kissing your neck, nipping lovingly but he was so shaky it was no use in trying to conceal his emotions so he let himself sob.

“I love you, I just want you to love me.” Anakin sobbed, loud and exhausted, his chest heaving against yours, sticky with sweat from his efforts. “I want you to love me, why don’t you love me?”

His pleas were pitiful, so raw and vulnerable. He was once again baring his soul to you and you had no idea how to respond. The first instinct is to say it back, say it and soothe him, help him reign in his tears. But you hesitate, knowing it wasn’t exactly right; even if it is true.

“Please.” Whimpering softly, audibly sniffing back snot after letting his heart bleed through his lips. “Please just love me, let yourself love me like I love you.”

“C-can’t.” He whined, hips snapping against yours as he reached between you to put pressure on your clit, the simple touch fogging your brain. “I can’t cum.” He hiccuped.

It was awful, seeing him so close, so wild and frenzied to climb to a summit he just couldn’t get to, the poor boy had been so frustrated for so long and now that he finally had you again it was practically torture to be within those satiny walls he would kill to live in.

“Anakin.” You said softly, shifting and wriggling in his tight embrace to gain use of one arm to gently push his chin up, making him look at you. He looked as piteous as he sounded, red faced and splotchy, luscious eyelashes heavy with salty tears.

“Anakin I do… I do love you I-“

“Goddamnit.” He choked out, his movements completely stilling save for the twitching of his cock and the rapid beat of his heart, he even stopped breathing. The halted air eeking out in a groaning squeak while he pumped you so full of cum that you could feel it overflow, leaking out without him even moving.

“I do love you Ani. I just wasn’t ready to say it and I was scared.” You said quietly, letting him collapse into a quietly weeping heap atop you, his hips rolling against you ever so slowly.

“Say it again.” He asked, so sorrowfully that you could deny it if you tried.

“I love you.” Your hand finding his head, holding him against your damp chest as you gently scratched his scalp. It was bittersweet to say it aloud. You’d kept it bottled up for months and it was a relief to finally admit it, but it also twisted that proverbial knife in your gut. You can’t truly love a man while another has a piece of your heart as well.

“Let me kiss my princess.” He whispered, leaning back to wipe at his mess of a face before coming back to meet your lips with his own. “I love you baby, I love you.” His voice soft and sweet, a light lilt that made your heart feel just a bit lighter.

Anakin started to thrust slow and deep, reaching every part of you with equal intensity. With one hand he pushed your right leg back against the bed, his other coming to run across your abdomen, caressing the skin until he reached the beautiful valley and hills of your breasts. He was taking his time now, but you knew it wouldn’t be long until you unraveled.

“I love you too.” You said, swallowing down the lump in your throat and giving him a soft, warm smile, blinking quickly to bat away the tears forming. You weren’t entirely sure why your eyes got watery but you knew for certain it wasn’t solely because of your confession.

Enveloping one of your nipples into his mouth twisting and pinching the other between his saliva covered fingers, Anakin stayed true to his promise that he’d make love to you. Everything he did now was focused entirely on you and your needs. He watched every twitch, every breath, every heart beat to stay intuitive to what you desired of him.

“Like that.” You nodded quickly as he angled his hips upward to put extra pressure on your sweet spot -only he could reach.-

“You like it sweetheart?” He rasped, looking down at you with lust blown pupils.

“Love it.” Mewling as you arched into his hand that snuck between your thighs.

“That’s what I wanna hear babydoll.” Anakin licked his bottom lip, carefully working you up to orgasm with his skillful touch and perfectly fitted cock.

“Gods… what a pretty pink.” He mumbled, looking down where your bodies met with a hunger that seemed insatiable.

Anakin didn’t want to stop his consistent and steady pace he’d set with his thumb. But, he just could not resist the temptation to taste the creamy pink blend of your slick, his cum and your sweet, sweet blood. Gathering up a dollop, he brought it to his mouth, sucking his finger clean with a ferocity you’d never expected. His knees buckled and his cock twitched; suddenly he was cumming again, powering through his unsteady thrusts to attempt to keep his pace for you.

“Fuckin’ hell doe-oll, doll, my babydoll.” He corrected himself, hoping you wouldn’t think anything of it.

You didn’t. You couldn’t think at all. You could hardly hear a single syllable from his plump lips, focusing all your attention and energy on reminding yourself to breathe as you clenched around his thickness. The sudden and unexpected sensation of him coating your gummy walls, simply from such a disgustingly delicious taste was enough to send you into an equally spontaneous orgasm. Your legs shook, a high-pitched whine escaped your chest and you squirmed beneath him while gripping the blanket beneath you so tightly you felt sure that you’d ripped a bit of the stitching.

“There’s my girl, my sweet girl.” He muttered, seeing your eyes fluttering back open as though you were regaining consciousness. In a way, you were.

“Mmhmm.” You nodded tiredly, your arms wrapping around his neck as he nuzzled against your throat, peppering kisses across your flushed skin. “Your girl.”

“I know.” He chuckled, tilting your head back to capture you in a gentle, sensually slow kiss. His tongue barely grazing your lip, just enough to leave you breathless before he pulled back and flashed you a smile you hadn’t seen for a few days. A real one.

Diary Entry: September 17th

I should be ashamed of myself, I’m aware. I just can’t be bothered to conjure up that emotion.

I’m taking this and fucking sprinting with it, I’ll hit Mach 10 before NASA does. You told me you loved me. Me. Anakin.

Yeah it might’ve been… coerced. Just a tiny little bit of course, you said it if your own accord. I simply pushed you in the right direction. Now. Don’t go thinking those tears were a sham. I swear they weren’t.

That embarrassing display was entirely real and justified in my opinion, though that doesn’t make it any easier to acknowledge that this was not the first time and won’t be the last time that I cry while balls deep in your heavenly body.

Insane isn’t it? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it every single opportunity that arises: it’s just further proof that you truly are a goddess. How else would it be possible to cause a grown man to fucking cry like that?

Date: September 16th 12:38

You stretched, yawning and groaning as your body adjusted to being awake. You’d slept late, as late as you possibly could because of how long you’d stayed up last night. You were still tired, not nearly as exhausted as expected but still sleepy enough that if you were to close your eyes for too long they’d stay shut for another few hours.

You sniffed and rubbed the sleep from your eyes, rolling over to your phone and seeing Anakin had texted you not too long ago. He was out getting groceries for the two of you and he’d promised to bring home your favorite icecream, knowing you’d gnawed through the very last of it and you desperately needed more. After sending a quick message to let him know you were finally awake, you rolled over again and stretched out like I starfish, enjoying the cooler temperature of the sheets on Anakin’s side of the bed.

Even going so far as to scooch yourself over and snuggle up to his pillow to breathe in his scent. A cold, hard object touched your cheek and startled you, the item making a slightly metallic sound in the dark room. You grabbed your phone and held the screen over the pillow, nearly choking on air when you recognized the offending object. You grabbed it, turning it over in your hands with a most confused expression on your face.

Ghost. He’s brought your hair pin over here, placed it on Anakin’s pillow for you to find. But why? He never did things without a purpose, so what on earth could he have aimed to do by leaving you this? Bolting upright you went straight to the light switch and flicked it on, blinking and shielding your eyes from the sudden brightness as you frantically looked around the room in search of anything out of place.

Once you were certain the bedroom was safe, you searched the rest of Anakin’s apartment and found that all was well in each corner of his home. So it must mean Ghost has left something for you at your own home. Or maybe he’s just trying to fuck with you? He’s been so confusing and it’s been so awful… maybe he’s just hoping to upset you. Even so, you found yourself walking across the threshold of your apartment just moments later.

Ghost has been here. He’s been here while you were away at Anakin’s and you’re not entirely sure what the point of his visit was. The cat food bowl was full, your floor had been vacuumed and your bedroom door was open.

Half expecting to find him in there, you walked in and surveyed the room. Disappointment flooding you when you realized he wasn’t there like you’d hoped. Though remnants of him were. Spread neatly across the top of your dresser were all the little things that you’d kept in your jewelry box. Trinkets and notes, along with a few other things. The tiny cameras. He’d taken them all down and laid them in a row for you to see.

He wasn’t kidding when he’d said he didn’t need them anymore. He was finished watching you, instead of relief you felt a painful sense of loss, like you were missing something intangible but feeling it physically. Anakin’s ring. The bullet. They were both lying there at the end of the dresser, the bullet laid inside the metal centipede. Odd. Odd enough to note it for further reflection if needed, but not odd enough to capture your full attention.

No. Your sights were set on a cardboard box lying atop your bed. You rushed to rip the lid off, seeing something unexpected inside. Underwear. A whole handful of panties, your panties. Pairs you’d long since assumed had been eaten by the shitty laundromat washers. Beneath them were a set of identical sheets to the ones on your bed at that very moment, you even lifted the edge of the comforter to confirm it.

The items only continued to grow stranger. Some things you didn’t even recognize until closer inspection, like reciepts, bookmarks, random odds and ends of things you’d lost or thrown out… things you didn’t understand why he would’ve wanted to keep. That was until you stumbled across one slip of paper tucked away inside the large ziploc bag of other crinkled papers. A phone number.

The yoga instructor. His phone number, all this time you’d believed you’d simply lost it. The truth dawned on you slowly as you spread out all those little scraps of your life, realizing some of them were yours and some were his. Theater tickets, restaurant coasters, stupid little things that held no meaning for you until now. He’d followed you far and wide, that much you already knew. You just didn’t realize how closely he was following.

He’d attended movies with you, he could’ve sat directly behind you and watched you instead of the screen and you wouldn’t have ever known. Your favorite coffee place, there were some of your receipts along with a slew of what must be his, considering you never ordered smoothies from there. Time stamped minutes before or after your reciepts were. You’d drank coffee, stood in line… never noticing him.

You wracked each corner of your mind in hopes of finding a familiar face sticking out in the recesses. Willing yourself to dig deep and fish out a common denominator. Was there a man who could possibly fit his physique amongst the crowds in your memories? Try as you might, there weren’t any faces coming up on your register that seemed suspicious or even slightly familiar.

Pictures. Close to a hundred pictures of you from all moments of life. Shopping at the grocery store, getting into your car, browsing the shelves of the library, chatting with your friends, or simply of you inside your home from outside your livingroom window. Even more unsettling were the photos without you in them. Photos of Luke’s apartment, your sister’s house, The Bluebird diner, your car.

Then at the very bottom was your copy of The Silmarillion, the one you’d been so horribly disappointed to lose. Not that it made you feel any better to have it back, not now. Not after everything. You opened it up and saw a sticky note inside with Ghost’s handwriting adorning it.

‘Sent with all my love, Ghost.’

That’s it? That’s all he had to say after dropping this bombshell off on you? You were so simply exasperated by the entire situation that you shoved everything back down into the box, then making a big sweep of your arm across your dresser to knock all the other pieces of Ghost into the box and shove it angrily under your bed. What is it exactly that he was trying to do?

Diary Entry: September 21st

I’m assuming you were unhappy with Ghost’s display. Was it not clear that I was trying to physically show you everything I’ve done for you? Was it not obvious that I love you more than life itself?

Or are you just terrified by that very fact I was trying to get across? Now that you’ve told me you love me, are you leaving Ghost? I suppose I should be respectful of the fact you’ve begun to ignore me. It seems you’ve made up your mind.

I thought you’d be happy with the lengthened leash I’d put you on. No more cameras to watch your every move, I have your phone to listen in when I feel the need to, that’s enough for me now that I’m graced with your beautiful face as often as I’d like to be. I get to see you through my own eyes, no longer forced only to see you through filtered lenses of my mask. Why bother with looking through the lens of a camera anymore either? It’s no where near as satisfying as being able to reach out and touch the flesh I’d yearned to feel for so long.

Diary Entry: September 22nd

There’s not many things I’m scared of, but this appointment is rightfully terrifying. I simply can’t imagine how you’d react if you happened to overhear any of the sensitive information I’ll be forced to share. I know that patient confidentiality and HIPPA are extremely important and very much required, but what if the walls are not thick enough? Will they have a white noise machine outside the door?

September 25th

You had been standing on the platform outside Luke’s apartment for almost ten minutes when his neighbor stepped outside onto the concrete platform, sitting himself down in a faded green lawn chair with a cigarillo pinched between his teeth. He regarded you with a slow nod and an uncomfortable head to toe scan, are middle aged men so completely unaware of themselves that they don’t grasp that they’re being creepy? Or do they just not care?

You gave him the obligatory ‘smile so you don’t ask me to’ half-assed toothless smile.

‘Ur creep neighbors out here again.’ You shot off the text to Luke, the fourth message you’d sent him in between loud knocking and shouting.

Luke was never late. He was always the earliest person to any gathering, he was always the most prepared, so unlike you. You’d gotten here three minutes past the time you’d promised to be at his door. You fully expected him to be waiting, tapping his foot with that disapproving frown he loves to grace you with.

“He’s not home.” A gritty, decades-long smoker’s voice crawled into your ear from behind.

“D-do you know when he left?” You asked awkwardly.

“Yeah.” He nodded, taking a long drag from his cigarillo that made him sputter and hack up smoker’s sludge that he spat over the railing. You hoped no one was unlucky enough to be walking past at that time in the parking lot below.

“Do you think you could tell me?” You huffed impatiently.

“Got yer knickers in a twist?” He snorted at your brusque tone.

“Y’know what. Nevermind.” You scoffed, turning away and making a quick exit for the concrete steps and onto the sidewalk below.

With a cautionary glance over your shoulder, you picked up the pace to reach your car. There’s no chance that man could catch up to you, but you wouldn’t put it past him to try his hand at it. You heard a sharp, song-like whistle from behind you and felt your stomach churn.

A familiar, clean voice rang out through the parking lot, shouting out your name. Snapping your head around, your body took a second to follow. It was Luke, finally. Finally he was here and although you were relieved to see him, it also enraged you.

“Where the hell were you? You need to answer your fucking phone!” You shouted, quick walking over to him to shove his shoulder.

“Jesus I’m sorry!” He squeaked, shaking his head in bewilderment at your frantic speech. “I was at the overpass and I saw-“

“Your disgusting neighbor was… he was being disgusting.” You whisper shouted, following Luke up the steps and hoping the guy was back inside.

“Mhm, yes that is usually what he does.” Luke nodded in agreement although sarcastically.

“Where were you?” You repeated yourself as Luke unlocked the door.

“Well I was trying to tell you.” He scoffed. “But you talked over me. You know I hate it when you do that it-“

“I’m sorry! Just-“ you paused, raising your eyebrows as Luke scowled at you. “Right. Interrupting.” You cleared your throat and kicked off your shoes while he locked the door behind you both.

“As I was saying, I was on the overpass and I saw the tiniest little kitten up there.” He said, holding one hand over the other to replicate the size of the kitten. “I felt bad so I got out and scooped him up.”

“You parked your car and got out on the overpass?” You said in a shocked tone. It was always horribly busy and crowded, entirely too terrifying for you to have done that… maybe you might be persuaded by a situation like this.

“I didn’t want the little guy to get squashed.” Luke retorted.

“I don’t want you to get squashed.” You laughed, surprised.

“I’m fine and so is my new buddy.” Luke said proudly.

“You’re keeping him? Oh my god Luke did you leave him in the car?” You gasped, looking down at his empty hands before turning to walk to the door.

“No! No you idiot.” He huffed, smacking your shoulder. “I’m not that oblivious. I dropped him off at the vet’s office. You remember Jalen?” He asked.

“Sure, why?” You asked, pulling a face. Jalen was Luke’s shortest and worst crush from his player stint.

“He works there at the clinic now!” He explained, going to the sink to wash his hands, then trudging off to his room to change clothes. “I told him I was in a rush so he emailed me the registration papers and went ahead and put the kitten in one of those wall cages.”

“Wall cages?” You asked, standing in his doorway, facing the opposite direction so he could have a bit of privacy.

“Yeah, you know, the little kennel things.” He said quickly. “Anyway, I figured I’d fill it out once I got home so give me a minute or two and then we’ll chat m’kay?”

“Does Han know you’re bringing home a baby?” You asked teasingly.

“Yes of course. He’s practically my husband of course he knows.” He scoffed, tapping your shoulder to make you move. He plopped himself down on the couch and patted the spot next to him for you to do the same.

Luke mumbled to himself as he filled out the online registration, it was quick considering he had zero prior information about the little kitty. “Hey, would it be stupid to put ‘pitiful and abandoned’ in the Reason For Visit section?”

“Was he pitiful?” You asked.

“Yes.” Luke nodded, pursing his lips. “Before you ask, yes he was also abandoned. You’re so right. Perfect. Mm, also crusty goopy eyes.”

“Yeah, I’d probably put crusty, goopy eyes first.” You said, crossing your feet at the ankles and resting them on the coffee table.

“Too late.” He shrugged, hitting send and almost immediately getting a confirmation email from Jalen.

“Did you mention that you are in a very committed relationship?” You asked, finding the quick response a tad odd.

“No. Why would I do that? It was quicker and my new friend got into the safety of the little cage before the ugly old scrungly pug that came in right before us did.” He snorted. “I have pretty privilege, Han will understand.”

“You’re awful.” You laughed, covering your mouth as you snorted loudly. “What if you made that scrungly pug late for his very important appointment?”

“Appointment for what? Cremation?” Luke clicked his tongue, hiding a smirk and holding in a giggle at his own joke.

“Shut up.” You snickered, taking a deep breath as you dropped your hands into your lap. “Anyway. I needed to t-“

“Aren’t you going to ask me what I’m naming it?” He cut you off, looking offended.

You sighed, rolling your eyes and clasping your hands. “Luke. What are you naming your kitten?” You chirped.

“Art the second.” He said with a small smile.

“Nuh-uh.” You grinned, remembering the old scruffy cat he’d begged his parents to let him keep.

The poor old elderly tomcat had wound up on their front porch during a rainstorm and he was almost mistaken for a lump of wet newspaper. Once he got dry, he looked ten pounds heavier from all the fuzz and knots. He lived out the rest of his years being pampered better than the Queen of England.

“I miss Art.” You sighed, smiling fondly at the memory. He was a grumpy old boy but he was the first cat you’d met that you actually meshed well with. You’d joked that you wanted split custody in the event y+ou and Luke ever had a falling out.

“I miss Art too.” He nodded, laying down on the couch and shuffling until he’d laid his head on your thigh. “But Art the Second will live a long happy life. The life Art the First should’ve had.”

“Don’t get sappy please. You know how I feel about that stupid cat.” You huffed, letting out the air with puffed cheeks. It was the first pet death you and Luke had experienced, you thought you may never recover. Obviously it was still a touchy subject.

“Fine, I’ll cry about it later.” He sighed, waving it off before tucking his hands beneath his arms. “Alright, what did you desperately need to talk to me about?” He asked.

“Okay, please promise you won’t yell at me.” You whispered, petting his hair comfortingly while you pulled out your phone and turned it off. This conversation absolutely could not be monitored by Ghost. Your new paranoia making you survey the area to see if he’d somehow placed cameras in Luke’s house as well.

“Wow, I love it when you start a conversation so ominously. I can’t wait to yell at you.” Luke quipped, snorting softly as you glared down at him.

”I’m serious!” You huffed exhaustedly, already tired just from thinking of how too begin your story without revealing too much. “So you remember when uh, someone followed me home from-“

”Please don’t.” Luke sighed, reaching up to squeeze your upper arm. “Babe, I thought you moved past that.”

”Would you shut up and just listen to me?” You grumbled a bit louder than intended, though it seemed to startle Luke into obeying. “Someone did follow me home. I promise. I swear I’m not crazy.” You said almost pleadingly.

”It’s not… not as bad as it sounds okay? Just hear me out.” You looked down and saw Luke was obviously conflicted. Part of him wanted to stop you right there and call Anakin to come get you and the other really wanted to trust you on this.

”I’m listening.” He agreed begrudgingly, nodding for you to continue your tale.

“I lied.” You whispered, hoping, praying, that this lie would come to as naturally as all the others you’d told since then. “I lied and I’ve been lying ever since.”

”So there wasn’t someone following you?” Luke asked confusedly, his eyebrows furrowed and lips parted.

”There was but I… I knew him.” You said, looking away but reminding yourself that Luke of all people would know if you were lying simply by watching your mannerisms. “I lied cause I knew him and things were going- are going so well with Anakin.”

”I told Anakin I loved him.” You said in a softer but no less anxious.

”What? Oh my god that’s great news! Oh god I owe Lauren so much money.” Luke’s words started off strong but ended in a bit of an astonished dissatisfaction.

”Please would you stop betting on my love life?!” You scoffed smacking his shoulder before grabbing it and holding him in place. “I’m serious okay? But you shouldn’t be so happy. Not until you hear everything.” You sighed, rubbing your face.

”I need you to hep me Lukey. Please?” You asked, leaning forward to implore him. “I’ve messed up so bad.”

”You’ve been cheating on Anakin? Haven’t you?” He asked, standing up abruptly to putting one hand on his hip and the other in a fist on his forehead. “ What the hell is wrong with you?” He asked quietly.

”A lot.” You whispered, ‘if only you knew.’ You thought.

”S-so what do you need my help with, huh? Covering for you?” Luke asked in exhaustion, looking at you with an expression you’d never seen before. You’d seen him angry, you’d seen him disappointed, but this was much different.

”No, no not at all.” You whispered, swallowing and looking away from his glaring eyes. “No, I’d never ask you to do something like that I was-“

”Good. Because I like Anakin. He’s good to you, he makes you happy. He loves you. This is the only boyfriend you’ve ever had that I have thought highly of and I will not lie to him.” Luke said sternly, his tone so sharp and serious that it caused you to jump in surprise, readjusting your seated position.

”So you need my help telling him about your adulterous behavior then?” He continued, his lips pursed as he looked down his nose at you.

”No. I need you to tell me how to get rid of the other guy. Just… delicately, he’s very uh, touchy?” You said in an unsure manner, unable to convert the meaning you wanted to without using much stronger, more terrifying descriptor.

“Oh really?” Luke huffed. “He’s touchy? What about Anakin, huh?”

”I-I know Luke! I know that!” You stood up and started pacing nervously.

“You think he won’t fucking kill this guy over you? Cause he will. I’ve seen the way he looks at you.” Luke said in a low tone, walking over to you with a purpose. “Drop this other guy. Obviously he’s so unimportant that I have never even heard of him until you needed my help for damage control!”

“Luke, no it’s…” You whispered, shaking out your hands anxiously. Luke had never ever yelled at you like this and he was surprisingly intimidating. “It’s complicated and I… I’m so sorry.”

”You’re sorry? You’re saying sorry to me?” Luke laughed in contempt. “I’m not the one you should be saying sorry to.”

”Lukey I’m trying okay? I’m trying to fix this.” You said, nearly in tears. You hadn’t expected this kind of reaction at all. It was not at all as easy to take this side of the conversation as it was to dole it out during Luke’s fuckboy days.

”I love you. I care about you, I want the best for you and the very first time you’re close to making the right decisions… you’ve fucked it up.” Luke scoffed, shaking his head.

”I came to you because you are my best friend and I trust you.” You yelled back. “I’ve been there for you when you were in my position-“

”Don’t remind me okay?” Luke said, his voice falling flat. “I understand, of course I do. But I found Han and I am never going back to that because he is my person. Isn’t Anakin meant to be your person?”

”Yes.” You nodded sadly, feeling a sense of shame that ran so deeply within your soul that it was nearly suffocating.

”So do what you’re supposed to do.” Luke said sharply, pointing you toward the door. “Don’t come back until you have proof you’ve driven this asshat off the bridge.”

September 28th

Anakin nervously paced the waiting room for what felt like the hundredth time since you’d arrived; he’d sit, stand, stretch, walk, repeat. You wondered if he was like this at every appointment or if it was because you were present at such a sensitive one, even if you were only going to wait outside.

”Ani, please come sit.” You sighed, patting the stiff and uncomfortable chair beside yours.

”I’m sorry, I’m just nervous.” He said, refusing to sit but at least returning to your side to stand in front of you, holding both your hands and rocking from the ball of his feet to his heel.

”It’s alright, just take a breath. You already know your doctor, so it shouldn’t be much different from all the other times, right?” You said, trying to reassure him.

”I know, I know.” He nodded, finally deciding to plop himself down beside you, sinking low in his chair to slump and lean his head back against the wall with his hands folded on his stomach.

“Skywalker?” A feminine voice rang out through the waiting room, a younger woman had appeared in the doorway that lead back to the various offices of the therapists and psychiatrists.

”You’re not my doctor.” Anakin said, standing up and shooting you a panicked look.

”No, I’m here to do your intake.” She gave a polite smile and waved him forward. “You’ll be back with Dr. Richardson for your next appointment. It’s policy to go through an intake when a client has taken a hiatus from treatment.”

”You’re a psychiatrist?” Anakin looked her over suspiciously, giving you another worried uptick of his eyebrows after he’d assessed her. “I don’t- I don’t want a lady doctor.” He said quietly to you.

“It’s just for one appointment Ani, it’ll be alright.” You said as you gave him a light squeeze to his hand. “I’m sure she’s great.”

”No, you don’t understand I-“ Anakin was cut off by the woman calling for him again, looking at him with a bit of confusion as she tried to determine why he was acting so oddly.

”Is there a problem?” She asked when Anakin finally complied and began following her down the hallway, leaving you with once last look over his shoulder as the door shut behind him.

”Isn’t there anyone else to do my intake?” He asked, fiddling with the chunky rings on his fingers.

”No, it’s just me.” She responded, pushing open her office door and letting Anakin walk through first. “I’m Dr. Amidala, but you can call me Padmé If you prefer.”

Anakin scoffed, taking in the scenery of her office. She was very clearly the type of woman who thought highly of herself, exactly why Anakin did not trust her in the slightest to provide him with proper care for his condition, perhaps not even just to take the notes she’d be taking to hand over to Dr. Richardson. She had a picture of herself in front of her college framed in a shadow box along with her diploma, the room was decorated in ugly neutral colors, the occasional splash of green from a potted plant, and an essential oil diffuser that Anakin knew would leave him with a headache by the end of the session.

”How long have you been practicing?” Anakin asked, sitting down in the large squishy leather chair designated for clients while she took her place behind her desk and computer.

“Two years.” She responded, presumably pulling up Anakin’s previous medical history, which Anakin believed to be a bit unprofessional. She should’ve already read up on him before the appointment.

”Great.” He sighed, new psychiatrists always seemed so intimidated by him and his diagnosis and it was already uncomfortable enough for him considering this pretentious lady wasn’t his doctor.

“Feeling anxious?” SHe asked him, looking away from her computer screen for a moment. “I understand that, it can be int-“

”I’m not intimidated by you. I’m irritated because no one thought to mention this little change in policy.” Anakin cut her off and it seemed to startle the woman slightly, due to the abrasive nature of his tone.

”Right, well I appreciate your honesty.” She said, raising an eyebrow. “Let me tell you a bit about myself, perhaps it’ll make you a bit more comfortable.” She offered.

”I’m only seeing you once, right?” Anakin asked, crossing his arms and sinking down into his seat.

”Yes that’s correct.” She nodded, typing on her keyboard as she spoke.

”Then I don’t need to know anything about you.” Anakin said plainly, receiving a curious ‘hmm’ in response.

”Well lets jump right into the meat of it then,” She sai, spinning in her chair and taking the keyboard with her to type while being able to glance up at Anakin when she needed to. “Why did you decide to stop attending your appointments with Dr. Richardson?”

”Because I didn’t feel like I needed to keep going. I don’t need therapy, I just need my medicine.” He sighed.

”Well, that brings me to my next question then.” She stated, opening her mouth to speak again.

”I didn’t pick up my meds because I was out of town at the time and I had forgotten to call ahead.” He interrupted as he anticipated her next inquiry. “CVS put my meds back up because I didn’t get there to pick it up in time and then I kind of just decided maybe I’d be fine without it, but I’m not.”

”What makes you think that?” She asked, eyebrows furrowed.

”I’ve been quick to irritation and anger, having arguments with my girlfriends over stupid shit. Not her fault though, mine.” He said, shrugging his shoulders. “I just need my pills and I’ll be back to my normal self.” He added.

”WHy did you wait so long before calling for an appointment when you know it’s legally mandated for you to keep up with these treatments?” She asked, typing rapidly.

”My girl didn’t know I took any meds, she didn’t know I saw a shrink.” He said, quickly speaking again before Padmé had the opportunity to pose a follow up question. “She didn’t know because it’s not something she should be concerned about, my diagnosis has never affected our relationship up till now so it didn’t seem like I needed to mention it until I was ready to.”

”Your girlfriend, is she in the waiting room?” She asked, getting a simple nod in response. “Why didn’t she come back with us?”

“Because it’s private information and not anything she needs to hear.” He snapped, obviously feeling defensive of where this lady doctor was going with this line of questioning. “She’s sensitive and I don’t believe my past is appropriate for us to discuss.”

“Is that why you were hesitant to speak with-“

”With you? Yes, I don’t think women should be in this field of work.” He said firmly, sitting up a bit straighter in his seat. “Other patients with my kind of history can be volatile. It’s not safe.”

”You say ‘your kind of history’ and ‘other patients’. What do you mean by that?” She asked, quickly typing as Anakin spoke over her.

”My kind of history as in criminal history.” He said, rolling his eyes. “Did you not read my file? There’s a reason this shit is court mandated. I might be reformed but that doesn’t mean that everyone who keeps up with their treatments are.”

”I see, so you are ‘reformed’? In your opinion?” SHe asked skeptically.

”You really didn’t read up on me did you?” He scoffed. “I am reformed. I’m a productive member of society, I have a stable job, I have a stable relationship with a woman I love, I have a friend group, I have my own place, I’m in control of my finances. I’m doing better than most regular people.”

“Not to mention I haven’t had a single run in with police or law enforcement of any kind since before my time at the state school.” He added proudly.

”No run-ins? Does that mean you’ve still been committing petty crimes, just not-“

”No absolutely not. Don’t twist my words.” He snipped at her, cutting her off before she could finish the offending question.

”I’d appreciate if you’d allow me to finish speaking from now on.” She said politely even though she was off-put by his behavior and agrees I’ve speech.

”I’d appreciate if you’d not judge me based on other’s behavior. Like I said, I’ve been reformed. I just need my prescription.” He sighed, trying to reign in his attitude. He’d noticed the way she was furiously typing and it worried him.

”Then lets finish this quickly, yes?” She said plainly. “I assume you’re well versed in the mandatory questions.”

”Yes.” Anakin nodded, clasping his hands in his lap. “My sleep schedule remains unchanged, I’m a bartender so I get to bed late but I get plenty of sleep. Little to no anxiety when I’m regularly taking my pills, no suicidal thoughts so long as I’m taking my meds either.” He continued listing off his memorized answers to the same damn monotonous questions he’d come to expect and when he finished, he stood as though ready to leave her office.

”I’m sorry, just a few more things Anakin.” She said, not looking up from her typing. “It’s concerning to me that’s you’ve failed to share your past to it’s full extent with your partner. Don’t you think it could cause future problems if you continue to hid this from her?”

”I don’t think that’s any of your business. If I decide to tell her anything, it’ll be on my own time, not because some bi-“ He took a deep breath and stopped himself before saying something he couldn’t retract. “I will share it with her when I’m ready. She will handle it well I’m sure, considering she’s taken this with grace so far.”

”How long have you been in this stable relationship and is this your first serious commitment?” SHe asked, still typing before she switched over to her mouse and scrolled. “I’m not seeing any mention of former partners.”

”Unoffically we’ve been together almost a year.” He said with a slight hint of a smile, “But officially its just been close to six months or something.” He said before adding: “Yes she is my first real girlfriend, I’m fully committed. I plan on marrying her.”

“Well congrats then.” She said with a small smile, happy to see that at least one thing seemed to consistently bring him joy. Even if it was slightly concerning. “I assume you live together?”

”No, but basically. I’m her neighbor. We live in the same apartment complex, I’m right across the hall from her. That’s how we met.” He nodded, his mood lifting considerably and she made a point to note that.

”Have you put any thought into why this is your first committed relationship?” She asked.

”I was waiting for the right person and I found her.” He said simply with a firm nod and smile.

“If in the event this relationship doesn’t pan out the way you believe it will, what would you do?” She asked, fingers poised to type.

”That’s not going to happen.” Anakin said sharply, gripping the arms of his chair tightly. “This isn’t a therapy appointment, you’re meant to focus on my life currently and my medicine management. You’re not my doctor and you’re certainly not entitled to ask these types of questions.”

”I understand, perhaps I should’ve explained. I’m asking simply because it’s important to see how you react to inavasive questions while you’re unmedicated. Dr. Richardson mentioned you seem very defensive and-“

”And what? You couldn’t have asked me that question directly?” Anakin asked, annoyedly.

”Well in most other cases I would, but it’s been noted that you are a chronic liar.” She stated plainly, turning her computer screen toward him and highlighting the note previously made by Dr. Richardson.

”I want a copy of my full medical history.” Anakin said with clear irritation at the fact he’d been called out so efficiently. “Notes, previous prescriptions, all of it.”

”You’ll have to sign a release of information form.” She said, pulling out a stapled packet from a filling cabinet and handing it over to him with a pen and clipboard. He quickly signed and slapped the clipboard back onto her desk before she handed him another one. “I assume you meant full history as in your records from your time in the state school as well, That requires a serperate form if you’d like for us to collect those files for you as well.”

”Fine, whatever.” He huffed, scribbling in the designated spots that had been pre-highlighted. He tossed the pen down when he was finished and was relieved to see the doctor stand and collect the freshly signed paperwork.

”Follow me please, I’ll drop these off with the receptionist.” She said, ushering him through the door and back down the hallway to the waiting room. She stopped, handing over the paperwork and watching as it was faxed and filed as it should be. “Your patient file for your treatment here will be ready by the end of the day, I’ll send in the script for your meds immediately, the pharmacy should call within a few hours. Dr. Richardson will contact you with the information for your next appointment.”

She skirted around Anakin and approached you with her hand out, standing up, you met her halfway and shook her hand, introducing yourself.

”I always like to get in a few questions with the family if I’m able, would you be willing to come back to my office with me?” SHe asked, her voice friendly and sweet.

”Oh I don’t mind it’s just-“ You started but Anakin stepped in, putting a gentle hand on the small of your back.

”You don’t have to, it’s not mandatory right?” He asked.

”No of course not, it’s just beneficial to get opinions from all involved.” She smiled reassuringly. “It’s common practice in the mental health field.”

”I’m not comfortable with her going back to your office alone, if you’ve got questions for her, I want to be there.” Anakin said firmly, looking down at you in hopes you’d agree with him.

”I usually like to take family back alone for privacy reasons.” She said apologetically.

”Well, if Anakin’s uncomfortable and its not mandatory then I-I’d rather not, if that’s alright.” You said, giving Anakin a small smile to show you were on his side. It was his appointment after all.

”Of course, it’s no problem.” She smiled, bidding you both goodbye before she turned on her heel and click-clacked her way back to her office.

”What was that all about?” You whispered as Anakin opened the door and led you out into the parking lot.

”Hell if I know. I didn’t like the bitch and I’m glad I’ll never have to see her again. Fuckin’ ridiculous.” He huffed, helping you into your side of his car and shutting the door for you. “I sent in a records request for all my notes n’ shit. I didn’t like the way she was looking at me when she was talking and typing. Dr. Richardson never typed that much during our appointments.” He muttered, starting up the car and backing out.

”You wanna get some lunch? Before we go shopping?” You asked, trying to take his mind off what was clearly a stressful appointment for him.

“Absolutely princess, I’m fucking starved.” He said, reaching over to squeeze the back of your neck gently while he kept his other hand on the wheel.

Diary Entry: September 28th

I’ve been livid and trying my very best to suppress it. That fucking bitch and what she wrote about me was ridiculous. I don’t give a flying fuck if she thinks any of it is true.

Dr. Richardson is a truthworthy guy. I’ve seen him for years and I’m pissed off he’s went and ruined my day by letting this idiot do my intake. Why the hell would I need to do an intake anyway considering I’ve been a patient of his since I graduated? What new information could he have possibly needed? Stupid. It’s fucking stupid.

After we left she continued with her notes, even knowing I would be reading them very, very soon because you bet your ass I went and picked that shit up the moment I got the call it was waiting for me. The audacity she had was staggering. Calling me controlling and aggressive? I’m sorry? In what way was I controlling? Where’d she get the gall to say that about me? I don’t control you.

She’s just not used to a man telling her what to do and how things are gonna be. She’s not like you. She’s exactly the type of woman that needs someone to knock her down a few notches.

I just can’t imagine how she’s kept her job this long, or how she even fucking graduated. I even looked up her college and through the class list for her major and it’s honestly shocking someone so stupid could keep a high enough GPA to graduate. She had to have been fucking several of her professors.

No wonder she was so unprofessional, she doesn’t even have a fucking profession. She’s got a useless piece of paper and a shit attitude that she thinks makes her better than me. This is exactly why I hate seeing women as a doctor. All of them. Mental health or the fucking dentist, I don’t care.

I mean, I’d prefer you not work at all. But at least you have a job meant for ladies. You’re a waitress, that’s perfect for you. Your sweetness, the pretty smile, the cute caretaker instincts you’ve got.

This girl though? Someone ought to shove her behind the desk to replace the receptionist. She’s in no way capable of doing her job accurately. She was too busy thinking about shit that didn’t even matter. I just needed my fucking medicine. I didn’t need her to tell me I’m a chronic liar. How dare she? So what if it’s true? Or at least used to be. I don’t technically lie very much anymore I just omit the truth. No harm done.

If I wasn’t so opposed to killing women I might just find her house and snap her neck. But that would be unfair, I’m stronger, bigger. She’d have no chance. At least with men I’m sometimes, rarely, occasionally: equally matched. If they’re not as fit as me it’s not my problem, it’s theirs for not being able to perform a basic masculine task.

So I’ll just visualize it over and over again until I get tired of hearing that imaginary crunch and squeak.

October 4th

After the intital miffed attitude from his upset at the doctors office, he had slowly calmed after getting some much needed food in his belly. Almost like a cranky toddler, sometimes he just needed a yummy snack and a smooch to get him back on track or at least back to his ‘normal’ unregulated behavior. Though you skipped your trip to the mall for your shopping trip, rescheduling for later in the week after he had time to readjust. Halloween was a month away after all, costumes could wait.

His records were printed much quicker than you expected, especially after seeing the size of the stack. You knew he saw a therapist as a child so you assumed it was his complete history, including regular doctors as well, not just mental health files. It had to have been almost two inches thick and held together by three large binder clips. Atop the stack was a blank sheet of paper, save for his name, presumably for privacy reasons. Unfortunately for you that meant you couldn’t even catch a glimpse of it before he shoved it into the dash of his car and locked it away.

It seems the doctor was good for getting his prescription filled in an expedited manner, considering it only took two hours when you expected it would be late afternoon before the pharmacy called. You couldn’t help but wonder about what had happened behind those doors, what he’d said, what she had said; to make him so agitated. You assumed whatever was said had caused her to put a rush on his prescription refill.

The very moment he was handed the bag through the drive through window he shoved it into his door pocket to avoid you seeing the medicine’s names and doses. It made you feel like he might not trust you fully, considering how oddly he was acting about it. What kind of pill did he take that he’d assume you didn’t need to know about? It was all very frustrating though you tried your best to support him through the ordeal in the hopes that he’d share more when he was back on his medication.

He hadn’t yet, despite the quick turnaround. It’s been a week and his mood has finally stabilized and he’s back to his doting, loving, caring and helpful self. You didn’t realize how much he’d truly changed during the short period of time he was unmedicated, but after witnessing his improvement it was quite clear. You though often over those days about the conversation you’d had with his mother all that time ago. The look she’d given you, thinking it was so strange of her to have acted that way when thinking back on Anakin’s childhood… but now you began to understand he must’ve been more than a handful during his younger years. Piling on the stress of growing up, school, friends, it must’ve been nerve wracking to raise him.

His teasing comments and sly looks had returned with fervor, his touchy, wandering hands felt you as often as they could, his lips met yours during every lull in conversation, every quiet moment and tender embrace. Your boyfriend had returned to you and you wanted to make sure he never, ever went away again. Not for your benefit, but for his. Yes of course you’d prefer him to be this way, but seeing him suffer like he had been was just awful. Pulling on your heartstrings in the worst way, even as he was getting used to the medication again. He’d complain of headaches and being tired, needing extra comfort and love that you happily handed over without a qualm at all.

Now you sat in a heap on his lap, his hands in your hair and his lips gracing your bare shoulder with soft occasional kisses, resting his cheek there in between them. He’d been glued to you for hours now, like he had been touch starved or perhaps finally realizing just how distant the two of you had been recently. It was a wonderful feeling to be back in the swing of things, back to your normal, happy time together.

“What do you wanna watch next?” He asked quietly, twisting a lock of your hair between his forefinger and thumb, brushing the end across your cheek to grab your attention. “Movie’s almost over.”

“How do you know?” You asked, turning to look at him and scoot more comfortably to nestle yourself between his legs that were propped up on the footrest of the couch, a pillow behind your back to cushion you against the armrest.

“I’ve watched this movie a billion times.” He grinned, sighing as he moved to rub his arm and pull up his short short sleeve to point out a tattoo that you’d seen so many times but never really thought much about. “It’s from the movie.” He chuckled, watching you trace the words ‘Run Rabbit’ in his ink. “You didn’t notice?”

“No I guess I didn’t really connect the dots.” You admitted with a small, bashful smile at your lack of awareness. “You really like this movie that much?” You laughed.

“Hell yeah I do. Love Rob Zombie, I wish he’d make some more movies honestly.” He said with a nod, pointing to the screen and hushing you playfully. “Watch.” He grinned.

You did just that, turning your attention to the screen as Baby repeatedly stabbed one of the poor girls in the movie, over and over again until she finally sputtered and fell silent. As if it couldn’t get gross enough, Baby licked the knife clean.

“Oh nasty.” You laughed, making a gagging noise even as you remembered doing the very same for Ghost, it wasn’t gross then, certainly not gross now… it made you- no. He’s not speaking to you. You don’t miss him.

“You know, that’s his wife in real life.” Anakin said matter of factly as he gestured to the character.

“Who’s wife? Rob Zombie?” You asked to clarify.

“Yep, Baby’s his wife.” Anakin nodded, reaching over to grab the neck of his beer bottle and chug the remain few gulps before sitting it back down with a clunk. “I suppose you could say she’s his muse.” He added, for a moment you thought you saw his lip curve up.

“That’s… kind of sweet I guess.” You said with a slight laugh, grabbing a few chips but returning them to the bag as you caught a glimpse of a half eaten body on screen.

“Squeamish?” He teased, nipping your neck and poking you in the ribs to make you giggle.

“I’m sorry, I can’t munch on my salty snack while watching a man being devoured.” You snorted.

“Well I can, hand ‘em over.” He laughed, making grabby-hands toward the chip bag just out of his reach. He crunched them loudly on purpose just to try and annoy you, but it honestly wasn’t so bad considering the horrid stench you imagined would be suffocating the girl on screen as she waded through maggot infested sludge.

“You never answered my question sweetheart.” He reminded you, feeding you a chip.

“I don’t care, you pick.” You said with a shrug, chewing with your hand covering your mouth.

“Paranormal, slasher, thriller, monsters… what? At least give me that.” He chuckled wiping his hands off on a paper towel he’d stashed on the side table.

“Slasher.” You said without much thought, taking the chip bag back and rolling it up to set it aside.

“Let’s go with a classic.” He hummed, grabbing the remote as the credits rolled. “Been a while since I’ve seen Scream.”

Part Nineteen

Tag-List:

@tsugumiholic @kingdomhate @burnthecheshirewitch @exquisitcorpse @arzua10 @bby-imasociopath @depressed-kay @aliciaasky @naty-1001 @mrsmikaelsxn @bunnylovesani @ausskywalker @angelsadmired @slut4starwars @chocolatepalacecloudhoagie @starkiller419 @hearts4mitski4 @lethargic @allhailbuckybarnes-blog @shadowhuntyi @mortalheartache @fallinlovewithevil @sythethecarrot @chaoticantihero @vadersslut @luvvfromme @sweetcheesecakesblog @luvskywxlker @angelsadmired @kaminokatie @anakin-pilled @graveyard-stray @chiaraanatra @jediavengers @zapernz @salted-snailz @queenofchaos99 @ellie-luvsfics @dazednstars141 @hopesworld @lonaah @guiltycherries @syralix @demieyesore @hemmoxloser @ahano @astarionsgirl @popcosmi @purriteen @honestlyatotalloser

THE TAGS LIST IS FULL! But if you want to be tagged I will comment ur username for you. Love you all so many.

[flowerfreya]

He's Coming For Me

The office AU part 8 i think

This one is not as long but just need to get over the hump of getting rid of the ex lol

Pairing 141! x reader

Masterlist

The next day you wake up with a crick on your neck from sleeping with the worst hotel pillow you’ve had. Other than waking up sore , you feel like you could do anything right now. No one bothers you about what they want for breakfast , bitchin’ about how they need their laundry done. It’s like you can finally breathe. 

You arrive at the office building around 7:45am , not having to get there so early because you have your own car. You walk into the office and see everyone already here. Which causes you to freeze and think, fuck, they got here early because of you, but because you got a car you don’t need to and fuck, you forgot to tell them.

You roll up to Johnny whispering harshly, “What time did you get here”

“Around 6am”

“Why”

“Had extra stuff to caught up on”

“Oh”, you give him a look. You don’t believe him. Not for one second. 

~

Around lunch time and see Gaz and Simon in the break room and you try to make casual talk, you ask about the weather and did you see the latest thing on some celeb, and then you slide in the question, hoping to get the answer you want.

“So….when did you guys get here this morning?”, leaning against the refrigerator , hoping you don’t look as awkward as you feel.

Gaz starts to answer,“We got here around 6-”, but then Simon interrupts him with a question, “When did you get here”, he’s analysing you trying to psych you out. 

“Well, I got here at 7:45”, you tell them. Simon answers back that they got there 15 minutes before you got there. You don’t believe them. Simon is staring straight at you, looking you in the eye but Gaz is the one giving it away, swaying on his feet and looking back at his desk like it would save him from whatever this conversation is. 

“Okay”, you say very skeptically. You turn and walk around and go to the last person that would give you an answer but probably the most difficult to give you the truth. Price. 

You knock on Price’s door , even through it is open. 

He looks up from his computer, “No need to knock, love. Just come on in”. 

You are determined to get the answer, so no small talk and just ask the question,”Did you all get here early because of me”, you say in one breath. 

“No”.

“Are you lying”. 

“No”. 

You make a noise of frustration, you just want to know so you can apologize for wasting their time. You walk to your desk and just stand there about to make an announcement, When the door slams open and you see your ex boyfriend. He looks disheveled. Bags under his eyes. Wearing the same clothes as yesterday. And he’s coming for you. 

“You bitch”,he snarls. He storms towards you, fingers pointed toward you, muttering about how you owe him, that you need him, how you will regret this , your frozen, eyes wide as you take all this in, and then you prepare to get hit. You pull your shoulders up to your eyes, and turn your head so he won’t hit you so hard. 

You never feel the pain , except you hear Simon voice growl, “I wouldn't do that if I were you”. 

You look up to see Price hold your ex back, Simon standing in front of you and Soap standing to the side of you. 

You grab the back of Simon’s shirt, why?, maybe to stabilize you transfer some of his strength to you. 

Your ex is still ranting, but you can’t hear any of it. You feel outside of your body and feel yourself being moved by maybe Gaz, you just know you're no longer in front of your ex and trying to be convinced to drink some water.

[feelfreetopleasemexo]

Spilling the (truth) tea.

Reader gets truth serum spilt on them and accidentally confesses her true feelings.

Ochaco found you wondering the halls babbling to yourself after initially leaving the UA dorms to find Hatsume. You wanted to upgrade your hero costume one last time before graduation, but, Hatsume being Hatsume, she accidentally spilled a mysterious liquid on you whilst she was trudging through her 'babies' to find you the last piece of armour she'd put away.

You were talking to yourself, completely dazed and walking around in circles, the conversation you were having with yourself suddenly became a bit heated and you started shouting at the wall. Ochaco ran over and placed her hand on your shoulder, causing your eyes to fixate on her, and then open your mouth.

"Ochaco Uraraka, the sweetest little bundle of joy, if I were gay she'd be the one I would marry. Her smile lights up the room and every single time anyone is upset, they fly to her like a magnet. Purest heart, will make an excellent support hero. 9/10 best friend, would definitely make love to."

Her eyes widened at your confession, she had no idea why you suddenly just started complimenting her, but by the glossy look in your eyes she knew something was wrong.

"Oh, um, thanks y/n! But er, everything okay? Did Hatsume do something to you or...."

And as if on que, Hatsume poked her head out of the doorway, laughing and cleaning her steampunk glasses.

"Yeah so, kinda got a bit crazy in there. Spilled some of my truth serum stuff on her and now...well yeah, she won't stop confessing her true feelings for people she looks at. It'll wear off in a couple of hours but...."

"Mei Hatsume, annoying but pure. If she learnt to shut up for a single second and take a breath, she might make a really good best friend. Easily surpasses everyone else on the other courses, and if she toned down a bit she'd easily reach top ranks in the hero rankings, especially the public opinion rankings. 7/10. Would bang"

Both of the girls looked at eachother stunned, Hatsume let out a disgustingly loud laugh, throwing her head back and smiled at Ochaco.

"Yeah, id get her back to her dorm if I were you. Here, take this too! Yano, just in case she bumps into all might or aizawa and accidentally confesses her undying love for them or something...." She chucked a blindfold to Ochaco, laughing as she disappeared back into the room.

On the walk back to the dorms, you were silent. Ochaco tried to make small conversation with you, tried to ask questions about what happened, if that's how you actually really felt about her and if you needed her to do anything for you. You didn't reply, your mouth tightly closed as she lead you to the entrance of the UA dorms building.

When you both entered, you accidently bumped into Kirishima, who was walking past with his head buried in a comic. Bumping into him caused your blindfold to slip slightly, catching a glimpse of the cute shark boy.

"Eijiro Kirishima, the physical embodiment of happiness. Whenever I get cornered my mind instantly searches for him to protect me. Impeccable quirk, and even more impressive social skills. 8/10 perfect husband material. Would definitely make love to."

His eyes widened as he dropped his comic, mouth slack at your completely outlandish confession. His eyes flicked to Ochaco who frantically scrambled to grab your blindfold, forcing it back onto your eyes causing you to close your mouth tightly again and grab onto her arm for stability.

"Um, what? Wha, what was all that? Why did y/n say she'd ma..make love to me? Im so confused."

Ochaco explained what had happened, and explained that after a few hours it would wear off so she was taking you back to your dorm so you couldn't embarrass yourself further. Just as she was explaining the affects of the serum to Kiri, katsuki flicked his eyes from over his phone to you three. He jumped up, stomping over to Kiri and ochaco, smirk snuggly slapped across his face.

"My turn. I wanna know what this extra really thinks about me." Before they could protest, he ripped the blindfold off your eyes, face merely an inch away from yours.

"Katsuki Bakugo, hot but an asshole, if he shut up and learned to take a compliment he'd be the perfect boyfriend for anyone. Terrifyingly impressive quirk, he knows he's the best and he rightfully should. Would make the world's most devastating villain. 8/10, would let fuck the shit out of me. More than once." 

His smirk grew wider as his eyes darkened, clearly more than impressed with your statement. He threw his head back and laughed, pride filling his body as he crossed his arms across his chest.

"Dirty bitch. I knew she had the hots for me. Glad she can see why I'm the best though, all you other extras just need to catch up. "

Suddenly, the common room started to fill with curious heads, cautiously trying to figure out why katsuki was even more loud than usual. After hearing your confession about him, more and more of your classmates let their curiosity take over them as they crowded around you.

"Everyone's getting the harsh truth today, wether they like it or not. WHOS NEXT?!"

Everyone scrambled into a line, desperate for some form of validation from your confessions about them, only to find that deku was forced to the front of the queue.

"Izuku Midoriya, ...there's too much. A cry baby, bitch boy, best friend potential, probably an impeccable lover. Kind. Honest. All mights secret love child probably? Fearless, sweet, loyal. He's like if a baby rabbit got hit with the world's strongest quirk, kicked your ass then sweetly hopped away afterwards like nothing happened. 9/10, he'd be too terrified to touch you, but if he did then he'd make the sweetest soul tie whilst inside of you."

His eyes watered, confusion and adoration filling his face, he wanted to reply, wanted to thank you but quickly got shoved aside by denki.

"MY TURN MY TURN! Let's see what this crazy spark plug thinks about me and how cool and chill I am."

Ochaco tried to reach over and cover your eyes but it was too late.

"Denki kaminari, truly believe he's my soul mate. Sweetest, kindest person I've ever met and definitely doesn't deserve to be the butt of every joke. I want to fuck the shit out of him, suffocate him with my thighs because you just know he eats it like an olympic sport. Want him to break me in every single way possible, electrocuting me until I can't feel my legs then keep destroying me further. Almost as perverted as I am. Think about him every single night as I touch myself. 11/10, want to be his girlfriend, wife, soul mate...."

Suddenly the room was filled with stunned silence, as aizawa kicked the front door shut behind himself, forcing everyone, including yourself, to look right at him.

"Shōta Aizawa, should be the number one hero because of his impressive skills and insatiable combat knowledge. See him as a father. Kind, considerate, thinks his standoffish initial approach keeps him distanced from everyone, but only makes everyone want to discover why he is this way. Perfect husband and father material. 10/10 wish he would adopt me."

His eyes remained half-lidded as he stared at you, turning his quirk on to see if it would help you. It didn't. He rolled his eyes and looked at ochaco who was clinging to your arm.

"Take her to her dorm, I think she's had more than enough of embarrassing herself for one day. " The rest of the class whined in protest as they hadn't had their chance at getting your brutally honest option of them, only for him to snap his eyes and widen them at everyone. They all closed their mouths and looked down, apologising.

Ochaco helped walk you to your dorm, got you into bed and sat on the edge as she played with your hair, helping you drift off to sleep.

"Well, I guess that's one way to tell denki you like him. I don't think you'll ever be living it down though, sorry y/n. I'll tell aizawa everything once you're settled, don't worry." Her laugh echoed through your room, quiet but understanding. She was right, you never lived it down, but it did mean that Denki knew you fancied him, and did mean that you had a letter pushed through the bottom of your door later that night.

'meet me in the kitchen at 2am. Let's see how sturdy that kitchen counter really is ;) D x'

[elikajinnie]

How Can I Choose?

P: Roommates!Heeseung & Jake X Fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Bonding, Alcohol Drinking, Clubbing, Teasing like LOT of teasing, Possessive Behaviour, Suggestive Content (i mean it), they both kinda whipped for you, Ambigious Ending.

Synopsis: After months of crashing on friends' couches, you finally find a cheap apartment, only to realize your new roommates—Heeseung and Jake—both have feelings for you. As flirtation turns into tension, you must navigate the complexities of living together while deciding how to handle their surprising willingness to share you.

a/n: boaf. baof? BOAF! -- i HOPE the link of the drawing i made of the apartment is accessible! pls tell me if it isnt. anyways! i got this idea in the shower and fried my brain by writing it in the span of a few hours :) SO PLSSS DONT MIND HOW STUPID IT IS.

-----

You stand in front of a tall, gray apartment building, boxes and suitcases piled around you. One of your friends had been kind enough to drive you and your stuff to this new place, and as their car drives away, you're left with a sense of excitement. This is your chance to finally find some stability after a long stretch of uncertainty.

There’s an excitement buzzing in your chest, but a trace of exhaustion lingers. For weeks, you’ve been crashing on friends' couches, juggling multiple jobs, and the demands of school alongside the perpetual search for somewhere—anywhere—to land.

Finally, though, things seemed to be turning around. Just days ago, you’d been clocked in for a slow shift at the convenience store, trying to squeeze in some schoolwork behind the counter.

With only a handful of customers trickling in over the hours, you found yourself browsing for rental listings once you had finished your assignments.

Luck seemed to be on your side that day. The first ad you saw was for an apartment close to the city, with a store nearby and plenty of bus stops in the area. It was perfect. The listing described a single room available in a decently sized apartment, affordable and ideally located. The ad was put up by someone named Sim Jaeyun, who had a picture of a cute dog as his profile picture but no other personal information.

You scrolled through the pictures of the apartment, noting its clean, functional layout. The description specified the need for a tenant who was clean, could cook for themselves, wasn't excessively loud, and could pay rent on time. You nodded, realizing you met all those criteria, and sent in your request without hesitation.

As you close your laptop that day, a customer walks in, and you go back to your duties, hoping that this will be the break you've been waiting for. The prospect of finally unpacking your suitcase for good after moving out from your parents' house was a comforting thought that kept you going.

Now, standing at the building’s entrance, you can’t help but feel a small, hopeful thrill. You walk towards the door and pull your focus to the side panel by the intercom and scan for the familiar name: Jaeyun. But your eyes catch something else—Jake and Heeseung. You tilt your head, curious. Jake was the name you’d come to know him by in your recent conversations, the person who’d warmly accepted your request and walked you through what to expect. You hadn’t known there was another roommate. With a shrug, you figure it’s something you’ll ask him about once you’re inside. Pressing the buzzer, you wait.

A few seconds later, a soft buzz sounds, and the door clicks open. You place a wooden doorstop to prop it open and start bringing in your belongings, piling up suitcases and boxes just inside the entrance. The elevator dings, drawing your attention as the doors slide open, revealing a man stepping out. His dark hair falls casually around his glasses, framing a face both handsome and warm. His clothes are neat but relaxed, hanging comfortably on his frame, and his easy smile grows wider when he spots you.

“Hey! You must be the new tenant,” he greets, extending a hand as he reaches you. “I’m Jake.”

You introduce yourself with a grunt, and he nods, giving a friendly chuckle before he glances down at the boxes and bags. “Let me help you with that.” With his help, it doesn’t take long for you to gather your belongings into the elevator.

Once all your things are inside, Jake presses the button for the third floor, and the elevator doors glide shut with a soft hum. He turns to you, slipping easily into what sounds like a well-rehearsed rundown of apartment essentials.

“So, first thing,” he says, glancing over at you with a friendly smile, “I’ll get you a key for the front door. And the apartment itself has a digital lock, so I’ll give you the code as well. We usually change it every few months, just to be safe.”

You nod, taking it all in as he continues.

“The laundry room is in the basement. It’s shared with a few other units, but it’s usually pretty quiet. Most people don’t do laundry until the weekends, so if you want some quiet time down there, mid-week is best.” He gives a quick chuckle. “Also, there's a schedule sheet down there if you want to block off a time.”

As the elevator rises, he ticks off other small details—the garbage room is down the hall, recycling day is every Tuesday, and there’s a spot by the door for your shoes, since he prefers to keep the place tidy. It’s all practical, straightforward, and reassuring.

As he speaks, you think back to the other name on the door panel and decide to ask. “So… Heeseung?”

“Oh, yeah, he’s a good friend,” Jake replies, giving a small nod. “He’s crashing with me. His schedule is intense, so you won’t see much of him unless there’s something big planned. But he’s a good guy—you’ll like him.”

You nod in understanding, unable to keep the fleeting thought that if Jake looks this good, Heeseung might be just as handsome.

The elevator dings, signaling that you’ve arrived. Jake reaches down, effortlessly lifting a heavy box as he steps into the hallway. He walks to door 3F, punches in the code, and holds the door open as you step into your new apartment.

The first thing that strikes you is the openness of the space. Sunlight filters in through large windows, illuminating the clean, modern living room. A spacious couch faces an oversized TV, framed by soft, neutral-colored walls and minimal decor that gives it a cozy feel. Further in, to the right, lies an open kitchen and dining area. There’s a polished dining table set against the wall, and you can picture yourself here, finally settled and able to take in a meal in peace. A small staircase with four steps sits to the right, leading up to what you assume are the bedrooms.

Jake steps up beside you, rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. “I, uh, did a bit of cleaning before you came. Wanted to make sure you had a good first impression.”

You chuckle softly and assure him it’s perfect as he leads you up the stairs. At the top, he pushes open the door to a room and steps inside, placing the bag and box he’s holding down carefully. “Here we are. This is your room.”

You step inside, taking in the space that is, for now, just walls and an bed frame. But with your belongings, you can already imagine turning it into comfortable. Jake heads back downstairs to grab more of your things, leaving you to take in the moment.

Setting your suitcase and bag down, you take a deep breath, just as Jake returns, balancing a final pair of bags. He gives a small, easy smile as he sets them down by the bed frame.

“Oh, by the way,” he says, rubbing the back of his neck, a little sheepish. “I took the liberty of getting you a mattress. Figured it’d make the first few nights a bit more comfortable.”

Your face lights up in gratitude. “Thank you, Jake. That’s really thoughtful.”

He shrugs it off with a smile. “Glad it helps.” Gesturing around the small hall outside, he continues, “So, my room’s just across from yours, and the bathroom’s at the end of the hall, next to my room. Heeseung’s room is right beside yours, but he’s out right now, so no worries there.” He hands you a small, brass-colored key. “Here’s your copy of the front door key.”

You take it, the weight of it feeling like a tiny anchor, grounding you here. With a nod, he gives you a quick smile and quietly steps out, closing the door behind him.

As the silence settles, you glance around, noticing—thankfully—that the door has a lock, which brings a small comfort. You exhale, feeling a rare sense of privacy and security, and decide it’s time to start unpacking. Unzipping your first bag, you begin pulling out clothes and books, setting them on the bed.

With each item you unpack, the room slowly takes shape. Clothes find a place in the closet, your books line up on a narrow shelf, and you tack a few personal photos and mementos on the walls, bringing color and comfort to the once-bare space. A small, soft rug unfurls at the foot of the bed, and a cozy blanket drapes over the mattress. By the time you finish, hours have slipped by without you realizing it.

Just then, a loud growl from your stomach reminds you it’s well past dinnertime. You leave the room, closing the door behind you, and step out into the apartment. The lights are dim, shadows stretching through the now quiet space, and Jake is nowhere in sight. Shrugging, you make your way to the kitchen.

You open the fridge and peer inside, noticing containers labeled with Jake and Heeseung’s names—and a few others you don’t recognize. One container in particular catches your eye, with a handwritten label that reads Ni-ki. Just as you’re about to open it, wondering who this Ni-ki is, a soft chime sounds from the front door, signaling someone’s arrival.

Turning, you see a tall man standing in the entryway, framed by the dim glow of the hallway. He’s effortlessly cool, dressed in baggy pants and a leather jacket, a motorcycle helmet tucked under his arm. His dark hair is swept back, and his gaze sharpens as he looks at you.

“Who are you?” he asks, his voice low and slightly gruff.

You introduce yourself, explaining you’re Jake’s new roommate, and he nods in understanding.

“So, you’re the girl Jake was talking about,” he says, almost to himself. “I’m Heeseung.” He then glances at the container still in your hand and raises an eyebrow. “You might want to avoid eating Ni-ki’s leftovers,” he advises with a small smirk. “He can be… protective of his food.”

You tilt your head. “Who’s Ni-ki?”

“A friend,” Heeseung replies simply, slipping out of his jacket and hanging it by the door. As you place the container back in the fridge, he suddenly reappears in front of you, holding out a takeout bag.

“Here,” he says, passing it to you.

You take it, peeking inside to find a neatly packed dinner. You look up, surprised. “Thank you, Heeseung.”

His expression softens, a faint smile curving his lips. “You’re welcome.”

A voice from behind interrupts. “Can you close the fridge?”

You and Heeseung turn to see Jake standing at the kitchen entrance, dressed in pajamas, rubbing his eyes with a sleepy smile. You quickly apologize and shut the fridge door, but Jake waves it off as he turns his attention to Heeseung.

“Hey, man,” Jake says, stepping over to Heeseung. Then, with a gleam in his eye, he looks back at you, resting his hand on your shoulder and playfully bouncing on his feet. “Isn’t she great? The new roommate?”

Heeseung chuckles, looking down at you with a gaze that feels unexpectedly warm. “She’s even better than you said,” he says, his voice dropping to a soft, teasing tone. “Got a good taste in roommates, huh?”

Jake nods, grinning. “Right? A good pick for sure.” He tosses you a lighthearted wink, adding, “We’re lucky to have you here.”

The playful compliments catch you off guard, and you can feel your cheeks heating up. Silently grateful for the dim light that hides your blush, you stammer out a thank you, bidding them both goodnight before slipping back to your room.

Once inside, you lock the door and settle onto the bed, setting up the takeout and opening your laptop. The food is still warm, and you relax against the pillows, pulling up an episode of the series you’ve been watching.

-----

The next morning, your alarm jolts you awake, piercing through the calm of your dreams. You groan and fumble to turn it off, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you sit up.

After changing into a fresh set of clothes, you grab your toiletries and shuffle out into the hallway, relieved to find it empty. You lock the bathroom door behind you, a small sigh of relief escaping your lips.

Inside, the bathroom is decently sized, its neutral colors soothing. A simple shower sits in the far corner, while a toilet is tucked beside it. Two sinks stand side by side, both topped with a huge mirror that reflects the morning light. You notice one sink is filled with various male grooming products—shaving cream, two toothbrushs, and a few other items—while the other sink remains empty. A smile tugs at your lips as you remember Jake mentioning that the empty sink was yours.

You get to work, brushing your teeth and washing your face, the cool water refreshing against your skin. The cabinets hold a few decorations and essentials, but you keep it simple as you focus on getting ready for the day. Once you finish, you take a last glance at your reflection, before exiting the bathroom. You head back to your room to grab your bag. After making sure the door is locked behind you, you head down the stairs and out of the apartment, trying to be as quiet as possible. You hope you didn’t wake Jake and Heeseung; they both have classes later in the day, and you’d hate to disturb their sleep.

Once outside, you take a deep breath, the crisp morning air filling your lungs as you walk toward the bus stop. You decide to skip breakfast this morning, opting to grab lunch on campus and planning to pick up groceries in the afternoon instead.

The elevator ride down feels swift, and as you step outside, you see the bus pulling up just in time. You board, find a seat, and settle in, clutching your bag on your lap as you pull out your phone. With a few taps, you put on your favorite playlist, letting the music drown out the morning chatter around you.

As the bus rolls along, you gaze out the window, watching the world blur by. Trees, shops, and people merge into a soft painting of morning life, and a small smile spreads across your face.

----

After a long day of classes, you make your way back to the bus stop, the familiar rhythm of your routine guiding you. Once on the bus, you relax, your mind still buzzing from the lectures and discussions. The bus stops at the mall, and you hop off, ready to clock into your shift at the clothing store.

The hours fly by as you assist customers, folding clothes, and restocking shelves. Each sale and every smile from satisfied shoppers makes the time pass a little quicker. When your shift finally ends, you clock out, ready to head to your next job.

Another bus ride takes you to the convenience store, where you cover for one of your colleagues who is running late. Luckily, your shift is only a few hours. You greet familiar faces as you work the register, and soon enough, your colleague arrives, a bit flustered but apologetic. You clock out, the end of your shift bringing a welcome sigh of relief.

With a little time to spare, you decide to shop for groceries. The store is busy, but you quickly gather the essentials you need for the week. With bags in hand, you hop on the bus again, this time heading to a nearby takeout place where you’ve already called in an order. The thought of cooking feels too exhausting after a long day, so you indulge in the convenience.

Once you pick up your food, you decide to walk home since it’s not too far. As you approach the apartment, you pull out your keychain, finding the key that now feels familiar. Unlocking the door, you step inside, your feet heavy with fatigue. The elevator ride up feels like a small victory, and as you reach the third floor, you shuffle down the hallway to your door.

You punch in the code, the door clicking open as you step inside. Kicking off your shoes and hanging your jacket, you’re immediately greeted by the cheerful presence of Jake and Heeseung. They’re in the living room, and their warm smiles lift your spirits.

“How was your day?” Jake asks, leaning forward with genuine interest.

“Exhausting,” you reply, dragging your bag into the dining area and setting down the takeout food on the table.

Jake’s eyes light up, and he hurries over, his curiosity piqued as he peeks at the food. Meanwhile, Heeseung moves to help you with the groceries, offering to take the bags to the kitchen.

As you unpack, you can’t help but smile at Jake, who is now sneakily grabbing some fries from the takeout container. You shake your head playfully, and he grins, unrepentant in his munching.

The three of you settle around the table, sharing the fries and nuggets, laughter filling the space as you recount the amusing moments from your day. But soon, Heeseung checks the time and realizes he has to get to work.

“Alright, I gotta run,” he says, grabbing his jacket and helmet. “See you guys later!” You and Jake wave goodbye as the front door closes behind him, leaving you and Jake alone in the apartment.

The atmosphere shifts to a cozy calm as you both move to the couch, where Jake grabs a blanket and hands it to you. You settle in, finding the couch surprisingly comfortable.

“Alright, what are we in the mood for?” Jake asks, glancing over at you.

“Something light, maybe a comedy?” you suggest, settling into the cushions.

He nods, his finger hovering over a title. “I’m down for that. Do you have a favorite comedy?”

You think for a moment, a smile creeping onto your face as you recall one of your all-time favorites. “I love Superbad! It’s just so ridiculous but really relatable. What about you?”

Jake grins, leaning back. “Classic choice! I’d have to say The Hangover. That movie just cracks me up every time. The whole concept is just so over-the-top.”

You laugh, remembering the wild escapades of the characters. “It really is! And the way everything just spirals out of control—it's like a train wreck you can’t look away from.”

He clicks on a rom-com, and you settle in to watch. As the opening credits roll, you continue chatting. “So, what got you into movies?” you ask, genuinely curious.

Jake shrugs, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “I guess I grew up watching them with my family. It was always a thing for us to have movie nights on weekends. How about you?”

“Same! My parents were big on movies too, so I was basically raised on classic films. We’d have popcorn and everything. I think that’s where I got my love for them.”

You share stories of your favorite movie nights, each anecdote flowing effortlessly between you. You talk about the films that have made you cry, the ones that made you laugh until your sides hurt, and the thrillers that kept you on the edge of your seat.

“I’m a sucker for horror movies,” Jake admits, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “The adrenaline rush is just so addictive. Have you seen The Conjuring?”

You nod vigorously, recalling how it had you hiding behind your hands the entire time. “That one is terrifying! I had to sleep with the lights on for a week after.”

Jake laughs, and it feels easy and comfortable, the way friends can be. “Same! I love the ones that mess with your mind. You think it’s just a simple scare, but then it leaves you questioning everything later.”

The warmth of the couch and the soft hum of the movie make it hard to keep your eyes open. You fight against the pull of sleep, telling yourself you should stay awake, but it’s a losing battle. Your eyelids grow heavier, and soon enough, they flutter shut, surrendering to the comfort enveloping you.

Time slips away, and you drift in and out of consciousness. The sounds of the film fade into a gentle lull, a backdrop to your dreams.

You only briefly wake when you feel yourself being lifted. Your eyes flutter open, and you blink a few times, trying to make sense of your surroundings. When your gaze meets Jake’s, looking down at you with a sleepy smile, warmth spreads through your chest.

“Go back to sleep,” he mumbles, his voice low and soothing. You can’t find it in you to argue, and you let the comforting haze of sleep pull you under once more.

Jake carries you effortlessly, maneuvering through the apartment, and you feel the gentle sway of his movements. You catch brief glimpses of your surroundings as he struggles momentarily with the lock on your bedroom door, the soft click echoing in the stillness.

He finally succeeds, and with a gentle motion, he lays you down in your bed. The softness of your plushies welcomes you, and you instinctively snuggle closer to them. You hear Jake’s soft chuckle, and it makes you smile even in your half-asleep state.

Just before you fully drift off again, you feel a soft brush against your face as Jake tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear.

He smiles down at you, a quiet moment shared between you. Then, with a gentle touch, he walks out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar.

A few moments pass before he returns, this time holding a makeup wipe. You stir slightly, feeling his presence as he approaches the bed. Carefully, he leans down, and you can barely register what he’s doing as he begins to remove your makeup from the day. His movements are soft and precise, and you can’t help but feel a rush of warmth at his tenderness.

“There,” he whispers when he’s done, a smile on his lips as he looks at you. “Pretty...” The word lingers in the air, and even in your half-asleep state, it makes your heart flutter. He tosses the used wipe into the small bin underneath your desk and quietly closes your door.

The sound of the movie plays softly in the background as Jake settles back into the living room, the soft glow of the screen illuminating his features. He waits for Heeseung to return, glancing occasionally toward the hallway, a small smile on his face as he thinks of you tucked away in your room.

----

The next morning, you wake up slowly, the soft sunlight filtering through your window, casting warm rays across your face. It feels like a rare luxury to have a late shift, and you stretch lazily under the covers before finally rolling out of bed. You take your time with your morning routine, enjoying the rare moment of leisure before a long shift ahead.

Once you’re dressed and refreshed, you make your way to the kitchen, the familiar scents of home enveloping you. You decide to whip up some breakfast, you switch on the TV, letting the sounds of a morning show accompany your meal prep.

After breakfast, you head back to your room to tackle some schoolwork at your desk. The quiet hum of the apartment is comforting as you focus on your notes.

It’s not long before you hear the soft sound of Heeseung’s bedroom door creaking open, followed by some shuffling footsteps. Curious, you glance toward your door, wondering if he’s finally awake. Moments later, a knock at your door pulls you from your concentration.

“Come in!” you call out, looking up to see Heeseung standing there, looking adorably disheveled. His sweatpants hang low on his hips, a baggy t-shirt swamping him, and messy hair sticks out in all directions, giving him a relaxed look. His fluffy socks peek out from beneath his pants as he shuffles inside.

“Can you make breakfast for me?” he asks, his voice still thick with sleep.

“Can’t you?” you reply teasingly.

“Too tired…” he mutters, a hint of a pout on his lips.

“Late night at the bar?” you inquire, stepping around him and heading to the kitchen, a grin spreading across your face as he follows you like a sleepy shadow.

“Yeah, I had to cover for my friend while he hooked up with some girl… and he took too long,” he explains, his tone flat as he leans against the kitchen island.

“Oh, that sounds terrible. When did you get home?” you ask, measuring out ingredients for waffles.

“Four a.m…” he mumbles, and you can’t help but chuckle softly, shaking your head at his apparent misfortune.

You hum as you mix the batter, the rhythmic motion soothing in its familiarity. Suddenly, you feel Heeseung draping himself over you from behind, his arms wrapping around your waist and his head resting against the crook of your neck.

“Heeseung?…” you mumble, surprised but not entirely against the sudden intimacy. All you receive in response are muffled grumbles, his warm breath sending shivers down your spine.

After a moment of stunned hesitation, you decide to carry on with your waffle-making, pouring the batter into the hot waffle iron while he clings to you like a sleepy koala. The gentle weight of him against you is unexpected, but oddly comforting. You focus on the task at hand, feeling the warmth radiating from both the iron and his body.

You try to push the knowledge of how close you both are to the back of your mind, reminding yourself that if Jake were to come in, he wouldn’t see you from this angle. The thought makes your cheeks warm, but you push it aside, trying to maintain your composure as you concentrate on breakfast.

As the waffle iron hisses and the sweet smell begins to fill the air, you steal a glance at Heeseung, who seems perfectly content with his head resting on you, his grip tightening slightly as if to anchor himself in place.

When the waffles finally finish cooking, the kitchen fills with the delicious scent of warm sweetness, and you can’t help but feel a sense of accomplishment. Heeseung slowly releases his hold on you, finally letting you go as he moves to grab a plate. He fills it with a few waffles, drizzling syrup over them before taking a bite, a look of sheer bliss crossing his face.

“These are amazing,” he mumbles with a mouthful, and you can’t help but chuckle at his eagerness.

“Thanks! Just don’t forget who made them,” you tease, your heart warming at his genuine happiness.

He finishes chewing and leans over to wrap his arms around you once more, pulling you in for a brief hug. “Seriously, thank you. You’re a lifesaver,” he says before plopping down on the couch, clearly ready to enjoy his breakfast in comfort.

You linger in the kitchen for a moment, a smile still on your face, before opening the fridge and grabbing a vitamin drink. You pop it open and take a refreshing sip, as you walk out into the living room.

As you step into the space, you pause at the sight before you. Heeseung has sprawled across the couch, the half-eaten waffle left hanging from his mouth, his eyes shut and small snores escaping him. It’s an adorable sight, and you can’t help but laugh softly, shaking your head in disbelief at how cute he looks.

You quickly grab your phone, snapping a picture of the moment before sending it off to Jake, knowing he would appreciate the humor of the situation once he sees it after class.

With a playful smirk, you approach Heeseung, carefully prying the half-eaten waffle from his mouth. As you do, you notice his shirt has ridden up slightly, exposing a sliver of skin. You gently pull it down, wanting to make him more comfortable. Then, you grab a nearby blanket and drape it over him, ensuring he stays warm.

Ruffling his messy hair affectionately, you step back to admire your handiwork, a fond smile gracing your lips. With Heeseung settled and blissfully unaware, you retreat back to your room, determined to continue your studying.

A little while later, as you immerse yourself in your notes, your phone buzzes with a notification. You glance at the screen, seeing Jake's name light up, and you can’t help but smile at the excited message he sent:

“OMG, that’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen! Heeseung is literally draping himself over the couch like a cute baby sloth!”

You laugh, unable to help yourself as you imagine Jake’s exaggerated reactions. You quickly type back a response, “Right? He’s impossible! Just don’t tell him I took that photo.”

As the afternoon rolls around, you glance at the clock, realizing it’s time to get ready for work. You quietly shuffle around the apartment, careful not to wake Heeseung, who remains soundly asleep on the couch, still draped in the cozy blanket you had covered him with. You smile at the sight, finding it hard to resist the urge to snap another picture, but you decide to let him rest instead.

After changing into your work uniform, you grab your bag and head out, giving one last look at the peaceful scene before closing the door behind you. The chill of the air greets you as you make your way to the bus stop, excitement bubbling in your chest for the shift ahead.

Once you arrive at the sweet shop, you clock in and prepare for the bustling evening. Just as the bell above the door jingles, a wave of children floods in, their faces lighting up at the sight of colorful candies and pastries. You jump into action, serving up scoops of ice cream and filling bags with sugary treats, the cheerful chaos making the time fly by.

After what feels like hours, the rush of kids finally calms down, and you lean against the counter, wiping your brow with a sigh of relief. You chat with two of your colleagues, sharing stories and laughing about the antics of the day.

“Did you see the way that kid tried to sneak in an extra gummy bear?” one of them chuckles, mimicking the child’s guilty expression. You join in the laughter, easing the fatigue from your day.

Eventually, your shift comes to an end, and you clock out, tired but satisfied. As you take the bus home, you pull out your phone, ready to check messages. To your delight, you see a new notification from Jake. He’s sent you a picture, a selfie of him looking triumphant, with Heeseung still sprawled across the couch behind him, the blanket now haphazardly draped over his body.

You can’t help but laugh at the scene, Jake’s grin wide as he gives a thumbs-up, and you quickly save the picture to your phone.

“You’re not letting him sleep the whole day away, are you?” you text back, adding a laughing emoji to convey your playful tone.

Almost immediately, Jake replies, “Nah, I just let him be while I made some dinner. He’s gonna regret sleeping through the day!”

You smile at his enthusiasm, enjoying the banter as you make your way back to the apartment.

----

The days zoom by in a blur of laughter and warmth, transforming what started as an uncertain arrangement into a comfortable home.

Your first few weeks are filled with shared meals and movie nights, late-night chats about everything from favorite foods to secrets. Heeseung’s easy-going charm and Jake’s playful energy bring out the best in you, and you find yourself laughing more than you ever thought possible.

When you finally meet their friends—Ni-ki, Sunghoon, Sunoo, Jungwon, and Jay—you feel a mixture of nerves and excitement. Ni-ki, in particular, is quick-witted and charming, but you shoot Heeseung a warning glare, determined to keep your near mishap with the leftovers under wraps. To your relief, he complies, stifling laughter as you all share stories and get to know one another.

It’s surprising how easily you fit into this lively group, your personality blending seamlessly with theirs. Sunghoon and Sunoo’s humor keeps the atmosphere light, while Jungwon’s gentle nature balances it out perfectly. You also introduce them to your friends Wonyoung, Yunjin, Kyrell, and Yeonjung, and the two groups meld effortlessly, laughter and teasing filling the air whenever you all hang out together.

Despite your busy schedules—your classes, Jake’s shifts at the pet store and smoothie shop, and Heeseung’s late nights at the bar and his job at the sports store—there’s always time for fun. You all make a point to coordinate your schedules, planning outings that range from shopping sprees to casual movie marathons at home.

Amidst the joyful chaos, there comes a time when you begin to question your place between Jake and Heeseung. It’s subtle at first, just fleeting moments that flit past your consciousness like shadows. They both treat you with a warmth that feels more intimate than just roommates or friends.

Jake’s flirtation is often lighthearted and playful, a gentle tease that leaves you smiling longer than you should. He’ll come up behind you, throwing an arm over your shoulder as he watches whatever show you’re binging, the warmth of his body brushing against yours making your heart race. “What do you think about this one?” he’ll ask, his voice light, but there’s an underlying sincerity in his gaze that leaves you pondering what’s really behind his casual demeanor.

Heeseung, on the other hand, has a more physical way of expressing his affection. He’ll sneak up behind you while you’re washing dishes, his arms wrapping around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder as he hums a tune. “What’s for dinner?” he’ll ask, his breath tickling your ear. The way he lingers there—so close, so familiar—sends a shiver down your spine. It feels like more than just a friendly embrace, a tenderness that wraps around you like a warm blanket.

It’s in these moments that you find yourself questioning the boundaries of your relationship. Are they just being friendly, or is there something deeper at play? You try to dismiss the thought, laughing off their behavior as just typical friend antics.

Then there are the times when Jake becomes almost puppy-like, trailing after you, eager to join in whatever you’re doing. “Can I help?” he’ll ask, hovering by your side while you prepare dinner, his eyes sparkling with excitement. There’s a softness in his gaze that makes you feel special, cherished in a way you hadn’t expected when you first moved in. And when you catch him stealing glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking, your heart skips a beat, your breath catching in your throat.

You wonder if they’re both feeling the same way, caught up in a strange blend of friendship and something more. The ambiguity weighs on you, and late at night, when you lie awake in your bed, you can’t help but replay their actions in your mind. Are you just imagining things? Do they see you as more than a roommate?

The days blend into a delightful routine, filled with laughter and playful banter. But beneath the surface, Jake and Heeseung have started to engage in a little game of their own, one that you’re blissfully unaware of. You can’t quite pinpoint when it began, but it becomes clear that they’ve both developed an interest in you that goes beyond friendship.

During one lazy afternoon, the three of you gather in the living room, the sun streaming through the large windows. You’re sprawled on the couch, engrossed in a book, when Jake plops down beside you. He leans over, peering at your pages with a mischievous grin. “You know, I could help you study,” he teases, his voice dropping to a lower, suggestive tone. “I’m a great tutor, especially with… hands-on experience.” You look up, caught off guard by his words, your cheeks flushing as you playfully shove him away.

Heeseung, who’s been lounging in the armchair across from you, raises an eyebrow. “What are you studying? Maybe I could lend a hand, too. I promise I won’t distract you—much.” He flashes you a charming smile that sends your heart racing, and you can’t help but laugh nervously, your mind racing as you try to focus on your book instead.

Later that week, you’re preparing dinner, humming to yourself as you chop vegetables. Suddenly, you feel a warm presence behind you. Jake sneaks up and leans against the counter, his arms crossed, a playful smirk dancing on his lips. “Need a sous chef?” he asks, leaning closer, his voice low and teasing. “I can stir the pot and keep you company at the same time.” You chuckle, rolling your eyes, but the warmth of his body so close to yours sends a jolt through you.

“Yeah, because that’s what I need right now,” you respond, your tone light but your heart betraying you as it races.

Heeseung strolls in just then, a knowing smile on his face as he catches the two of you. “Am i interrupting something?” he chides playfully, arching an eyebrow at Jake. You feel your cheeks heat up as the playful banter continues, and you can’t help but feel like the center of attention, albeit in a way that leaves you both flustered and exhilarated.

What you don’t realize is that behind the scenes, a little competition has begun. Jake and Heeseung have started making bets on who can get your attention first, whispering and laughing about it when they think you can’t hear. “I’ll bet you a smoothie I can make her blush before dinner,” Jake declares one day, his eyes sparkling with mischief. Heeseung chuckles, countering with, “You’re on. But I’ll raise you—I’ll bet you can’t make her laugh while doing it.”

These little moments of rivalry only heighten the flirtation. One afternoon, you’re lounging in the living room when Heeseung walks in wearing a fitted shirt that highlights his toned physique. He notices you staring and grins, leaning casually against the wall. “What? You like what you see?” he asks, his voice dripping with playful confidence. You can’t help but feel your cheeks burn as you stammer a response, the heat creeping up your neck as you try to find words.

“Shut up, Heeseung,” you manage, your laughter mingling with embarrassment, but he only chuckles, clearly enjoying the effect he has on you.

Then there are times when Jake gets a bit bolder. One evening, he finds you in your room, studying. He leans against the doorway, arms crossed, looking utterly relaxed yet undeniably handsome. “You know, if you need a study break, I’m really good at helping people… unwind,” he says, a teasing glint in his eye. You can feel your heart race, and your response gets caught in your throat, leaving you momentarily speechless.

As weeks turn into months, these playful exchanges become more frequent and more suggestive, leaving you in a constant state of fluster. They often playfully compete for your attention, showering you with flirty comments and lingering touches that send your heart racing.

It’s not just the comments that leave you flustered; it’s the way they both find excuses to be close to you. Jake will brush against you as he reaches for a snack, his fingers grazing yours in a way that feels charged with something more. Heeseung will lean in while you’re cooking, his breath warm against your neck as he whispers a playful remark, leaving you shivering with both surprise and delight.

One afternoon, after weeks of playful banter and flirtation from Jake and Heeseung, you decide it’s time to turn the tables. You’ve been thinking about how much fun it could be to throw a little flirting back their way, to see if they can handle a taste of their own medicine.

You wait until a Saturday when everyone is home. The living room is buzzing with energy as you all relax together, the sound of a movie playing softly in the background. Jake is sprawled across the couch, while Heeseung sits in the armchair, legs casually crossed and an easy smile on his face as he scrolls through his phone.

Feeling a rush of confidence, you take a deep breath and lean against the doorframe, crossing your arms and adopting a playful smirk. “You know,” you begin, drawing their attention, “I could really use some help getting my grades up. Maybe I should schedule some one-on-one study sessions with the both of you.”

Jake looks up, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise, and Heeseung’s mouth curves into an amused smile. “Oh? Are you sure you can handle all this help?” Jake quips, his tone teasing, but you can see the flush creeping up his cheeks.

“Just think of it as an opportunity to show me your expertise,” you reply, maintaining eye contact with both of them as you saunter closer. You can feel the charged atmosphere as you lean casually against the arm of the couch, inching closer to Jake. “I could use some practical lessons.”

Heeseung sits up a little straighter, his eyes narrowing playfully. “Practical lessons? Sounds like someone is trying to get a little more than just academic help,” he retorts, the hint of a challenge in his voice. You can tell he’s intrigued by your sudden boldness.

“Oh, I definitely am,” you say with a playful wink, enjoying the way both of them are momentarily taken aback. “But only if you can keep up with me.” You’re met with stunned silence, and for a moment, you wonder if you’ve gone too far. But then, Jake bursts out laughing, his cheeks slightly flushed.

“You’re on!” he declares, shooting you a cocky grin that ignites a flutter in your stomach. “But just so you know, I’m not going to go easy on you.”

Heeseung rolls his eyes in mock defeat, trying to maintain his cool demeanor. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you when you can’t keep up.” His voice is low and teasing, the challenge hanging in the air between you.

As the afternoon unfolds, you continue to flirt playfully with both of them, tossing comments back and forth. You compliment Jake on his “impressive knowledge” of pop culture, leaning in just a bit too close as you whisper about how his recommendations have been “so helpful.” You watch as his cheeks flush, caught off guard by your boldness.

Heeseung, not to be outdone, makes his own moves. “You know,” he says, his voice smooth, “if you want to study hard, you might need to take some breaks. I could think of some fun activities to fill those breaks.” He winks, and you can’t help but laugh at how easy it is to keep the teasing going.

The three of you end up in a lighthearted competition, each trying to out-flirt the other. You toss compliments like confetti, and they respond in kind, each line making the tension between you thick and exhilarating.

“Wow, I didn’t realize you two were so charming,” you remark, feigning innocence as you watch them squirm a little under your gaze. “Maybe I should have taken you up on that help sooner.”

Jake grins, leaning back against the couch with a newfound confidence. “Well, now you know. We can definitely provide the special assistance you need.”

You feel a rush of satisfaction at finally flipping the script. The laughter fills the room, punctuated by playful banter, and it feels good to see them flustered for a change, struggling to come up with responses to your flirty remarks.

Eventually, as the evening winds down, you sit back and bask in the warmth of their attention.

You’ve made your mark, and it’s clear that your flirty game has raised the stakes between you and your two charming roommates, setting the stage for whatever might come next.

----

The late afternoon sun filtered through the curtains of your room, casting a warm glow as you returned home from work. Your phone buzzed with a notification, and you quickly glanced at the group chat. The excitement in the messages about a night out at a local club had your heart racing with anticipation. Without a second thought, you agreed to join, feeling a surge of energy at the prospect of a night filled with laughter and music.

You rushed to your closet, rifling through your clothes until you found the perfect outfit: a fitted black top that hugged your curves and a high-waisted skirt that accentuated your figure. You quickly changed and turned your attention to your makeup, after curling your hair into loose waves, you added a touch of glittering highlighter to your skin for that extra glow.

Grabbing a small, chic purse to carry your essentials, you made your way downstairs. As you descended, you spotted Heeseung standing in the living room, his back to you as he exchanged goodbyes with Jake, who lounged on the couch. Both of them turned as you approached, their expressions shifting from casual conversation to admiration.

Jake’s mouth fell slightly open, clearly impressed. “Where are you off to?” he asked, his tone a mix of curiosity and admiration.

“The club,” you replied, a smile forming on your lips as you noticed the way Heeseung’s gaze lingered on you.

Before you could say anything else, Heeseung quickly chimed in, “I can drive you.” He moved toward the closet, retrieving another helmet with a casual ease that made your heart flutter. The prospect of riding on his motorcycle sent a thrill through you.

You nodded, excitement bubbling in your chest as you took the helmet from him. After throwing on a short jacket to ward off the evening chill, you turned to Jake. “See you later!” you called out, waving goodbye. He still looked slightly dazed, clearly caught off guard by your transformation.

You followed Heeseung down to the parking lot, the anticipation of the ride sparking in the air around you. As he climbed onto his motorcycle, you felt a rush of adrenaline. You slipped on the helmet, securing it snugly before getting on behind him. As you wrapped your arms around his waist, the warmth of his body seeped through your jacket, and he started the bike, the engine rumbling beneath you.

With a twist of the throttle, you felt the bike lurch forward, and you leaned into Heeseung’s back as he expertly maneuvered through the streets. The cool wind whipped past, sending a shiver through your exposed skin, but you didn’t mind; the thrill of the ride was invigorating.

The ride to the club was quick, the familiar streets flying by as you soaked in the freedom of the moment.

As you both arrived at the club, the vibrant energy of the nightlife buzzed around you, the pulsing music spilling out into the cool evening air. You hopped off the motorcycle, feeling exhilarated, and removed your helmet, shaking your hair loose and letting it cascade down. Just then, a group of drunken guys standing outside caught sight of you, their eyes lighting up in appreciation.

“Hey there, beautiful!” one of them hollered, followed by a chorus of wolf whistles. “Looking good! I’d love to have you hugging me from behind like that!” Their comments were laced with crude humor, and you felt a grimace form on your lips as you rolled your eyes in annoyance.

Before you could respond, Heeseung had already dismounted his bike, removing his helmet and stepping forward with a glare aimed at the group. “Back off!” he shouted, his tone sharp and commanding, making it clear he wouldn’t tolerate their disrespect. The guys exchanged wary glances but quickly retreated, their bravado faltering under Heeseung’s fierce expression.

You let out a small sigh of relief, thankful for his protective instinct, and grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the entrance of the club. “Come on, you gotta clock in,” you urged, eager to escape the unwanted attention. As you reached the door, you noticed your friends waiting just outside, their faces lighting up at the sight of you.

With a friendly wave, you called out to them before turning back to Heeseung. The bouncer, recognizing him, waved you both through without hesitation, allowing you and your friends to enter the lively club atmosphere.

As you stepped inside, the beat of the music enveloped you, and the dazzling lights danced around the room, pulling you into the vibrant nightlife. Heeseung squeezed your hand gently before letting go, heading toward the bar to start his shift.

----

The night had unraveled into a blur of laughter, music, and drinks, with you and your friends dancing under the flashing lights, letting loose in a way you hadn’t in a while. You’d managed to get a couple of cheap—or even free—drinks thanks to Heeseung working behind the bar. Every time you looked over, he would give you a quick wink or a grin, sending another round your way.

And you weren’t short on attention either, noticing that a few guys in the club were more than happy to flirt. Their compliments and eager smiles were flattering, and you enjoyed the easygoing fun of it all. Still, as your friends leaned in to shout in your ear over the music, you noticed something: Heeseung’s gaze wasn’t just casually lingering. He was watching, his eyes sharp, his attention shifting from you to each new guy who tried his luck.

At one point, a guy offered to buy you a drink, and you agreed with a polite smile, following him over to the bar. As he ordered, Heeseung’s expression changed, his smile a touch too tight.

He set both drinks on the bar with an innocent smile, and you took a sip of yours, which tasted surprisingly perfect. But the guy next to you sputtered, coughing immediately as he spat his drink out, splattering a bit on your sleeve. He turned, red-faced, looking horrified.

“Why is this so… spicy?” he demanded, voice hoarse. Heeseung kept his face impassive, busying himself with a rag and the counter.

You couldn’t hold back a giggle as you watched Heeseung discreetly nudge the hot sauce bottle further under the counter, his lips twitching into a smile as the guy stomped off, grumbling. Not a minute later, you headed for the restroom, shaking your head in amusement at Heeseung’s antics.

In the quiet of the restroom, you took a moment to breathe, glancing at your reflection in the mirror. You slipped off your jacket, draping it over a nearby hook, revealing the full outfit you'd carefully chosen for tonight. The cool air in the room brushed against your exposed skin, a reminder of how much thought you'd put into tonight's look.

You ran a hand over your clothes, smoothing out any creases, then turned to check your makeup. With a practiced hand, you reapplied a touch of lip gloss and adjusted your eyeliner.

As you strolled back into the club, the pulsing lights and thumping bass surrounded you, momentarily drowning out your thoughts. You barely glanced at the guy from earlier, who was now fully engrossed in conversation with another girl, when your gaze was irresistibly drawn to the bar.

There stood Heeseung and Jake, leaning casually against the polished counter. Jake wore a pair of fitted jeans that hugged his form just right and a simple shirt that accentuated his toned physique. His hair was pushed back effortlessly. Heeseung was a perfect match, dressed in jeans as well, but opted for a sleek black t-shirt that clung to his broad shoulders. His hair was also slicked back now.

The moment they turned their attention to you, their eyes locked onto you with an intensity that left you momentarily breathless. You couldn’t help but feel a rush of surprise and excitement at seeing them both here, looking so undeniably handsome.

Heeseung’s gaze was unblinking, a flicker of something bold and daring mixed in with his usual confident smirk. His posture was casual, one hand braced against the bar while the other rested on his hip, but his eyes… they seemed to trace over you with a slow, almost deliberate sweep, lingering a second too long. The defiance in his smirk spoke volumes, as if daring anyone else to look at you the way he was. There was a possessive glint in his eyes, as if he was barely holding himself back from reaching out.

Then there was Jake, whose gaze held a different kind of heat. His eyes softened as they traveled from your face down to your outfit, then back up. He took in every detail—your makeup, the way your clothes clung to your figure, the glint of confidence in your eyes. When he met your gaze again, his lips curled into a grin, the warmth of his smile undercut by the intensity in his eyes. It was as though he was studying every inch of you, and his lips curved, like he knew exactly how captivating he found you.

You caught a brief exchange of glances between the two of them, each sizing up the other’s reaction, before they turned their focus back to you, their eyes following every step you took. Their shared gaze left you feeling bare, like they were both trying to pull you closer without needing to say a word.

“Well, well, here comes trouble,” Jake teased, his voice low and smooth, though the smile he wore was anything but innocent. He raised his glass to you, his eyes reflecting that warmth that always made you feel seen—but there was something else tonight, a sharper edge to the way he looked at you, as if he was waiting to see how you’d respond to their attention.

Heeseung’s smirk only deepened, a spark of mischief flickering in his gaze as he straightened a little, his posture shifting subtly closer. He kept his eyes locked on yours, every part of him seemed to radiate a daring energy, as though daring you to close the distance between you.

With a steadying breath, you made your way to the bar, fully aware of Jake and Heeseung's gazes. As you reached them, Heeseung leaned forward, elbows propped on the bar, his smirk never faltering, while Jake wasted no time slipping an arm around your waist, pulling you close with that effortless charm he wore so well.

"Dressed to impress,” Heeseung drawled, his tone laced with amusement as he gave you another lingering look, head tilting as if to take in every inch. “Gonna be a distraction all night, aren’t you?”

Jake tightened his hold on your waist, bringing you even closer, his lips dangerously close to your ear. “He’s just jealous because you look this good, and he’s stuck working.” His voice was smooth, and his breath sent a warm shiver down your neck. “Right, Heeseung?”

Heeseung scoffed but didn’t pull back, the gleam in his eyes only intensifying. “I think I’ll manage,” he shot back, but his eyes never left you, tracing the subtle way you leaned into Jake’s embrace. “Besides, it looks like you’re already in good hands.”

Feeling bold, you turned to face Heeseung fully, resting one hand on the counter as you smiled, the challenge in your eyes clear. “Is that a hint of jealousy I hear?”

He raised an eyebrow, a slow smile tugging at his lips. “Only if you’d do something about it,” he replied, his gaze unflinching, taunting. He reached over, his fingers brushing lightly over yours where they rested on the bar. “Think you could handle both of us?”

Before you could respond, Jake chuckled softly, his arm around you tightening, as he glanced over at Heeseung. “Oh, she can handle anything we throw at her,” he teased, his eyes locking on yours with a hint of something darker. “Right?”

You laughed softly, finding yourself delighting in their attention, the playful tension between them only adding to the thrill. Heeseung shook his head, a low chuckle rumbling in his chest, while Jake’s fingers absently traced along your waist, making it clear he wasn’t planning to let you go anytime soon.

You leaned closer to Jake, letting him feel the warmth of your smile against his cheek. “Oh, I can handle you two just fine,” you murmured, voice barely above a whisper, but you knew they both heard it. The shift in their expressions told you enough—they were both thoroughly captivated.

Heeseung exhaled a low laugh, eyes twinkling with intrigue, while Jake’s hand at your waist stilled, his grip firm, like he wasn’t about to let you out of his sight for the rest of the night.

Jake tilted his head just slightly, the corners of his mouth curving up in a half-smile. “Is that so?” he murmured, his voice low, almost daring. He let his gaze drift slowly over your face, down to your lips, and then back to your eyes.

Heeseung watched, clearly enjoying the exchange, a slow, amused grin spreading across his face. He leaned across the bar, his gaze locked on yours as he teased, “Guess we’ll have to test that out, then. Wouldn’t want you getting too comfortable.” His voice was smooth, the subtle challenge in his words matched by the spark in his eyes.

Feeling both their gazes, you couldn’t help the little smile that played on your lips. You leaned slightly closer to Jake, keeping eye contact with Heeseung as you replied, “Maybe it’s you two who won’t be able to keep up.”

Jake let out a breathy chuckle, but his eyes never left you, even as he responded, “We’ll see about that.”

Heeseung raised an eyebrow, clearly entertained but also intrigued, and he nodded in agreement, watching as Jake held you close. With an easy grin, he said, “I think you’ll keep us busy.” He reached out to hand you a drink, fingers brushing against yours in the brief exchange, his eyes lingering on you.

You took a sip, feeling their attention wrap around you like a warmth that made the crowded club fall away.

Just as Jake’s hand tightened on your waist, you felt a tug from behind—your friends, appearing at just the right moment, grinning as they coaxed you toward the dance floor.

“Come on!” they called, laughter in their voices. Before either Jake or Heeseung could react, you slipped from Jake’s hold with a wink. Both of them stared after you, looking mildly stunned—and maybe just a bit thrown off by how easily you’d gotten away. Jake tried to reach for you, a playful protest on his lips, but your friends swept you into their midst, pulling you into the rhythm of the music.

On the dance floor, you let yourself get lost in the energy, moving in time with the pulsing beat. You stole a glance back at the bar, where both Heeseung and Jake were watching intently, as if sizing up their next move. Heeseung raised his drink to you, that confident smirk still plastered on his face, while Jake looked torn between amusement and a slight, playful irritation at your escape.

Laughing, you lost yourself in the music, feeling their gazes follow your every move.

----

The night took an unexpected turn when one of your friends became a little too enthusiastic with the drinks. Before you knew it, she was outside, hunched over on the sidewalk, throwing up. You quickly moved to her side, pulling her hair back and rubbing her shoulder, doing your best to soothe her as she mumbled apologies.

Once she was done, the group decided it was best to get her home. You all piled into a car, the designated driver taking the wheel while the rest of you kept a close eye on your friend.

When you reached her place, you carefully helped her inside, guiding her up to her bedroom and laying her down, making sure she was comfortable. With her settled, someone found a stash of drinks in the kitchen, and before long, the vibe had lightened back up. One friend pulled out a karaoke machine, and soon everyone was singing loud, off-key renditions of your favorite songs, letting the night carry you all along.

As the hours ticked by, one by one, everyone found a cozy spot to curl up, and before you knew it, the house was filled with the soft sounds of snores and murmured dreams, a blur of a night settling into a peaceful sleep.

----

The next morning, you woke up with a pounding headache and the usual regret that came with a night like this. Squinting against the morning light filtering in through the window, you groaned, reaching for your phone. Your notifications were littered with messages and missed calls from both Jake and Heeseung. You smiled a little, heart warming at their worry, even if it made you feel a bit guilty.

You dialed Jake’s number, and he answered almost immediately. “Where are you?” he asked, his voice filled with relief and lingering worry. “Are you okay?”

"Yeah, I’m okay," you mumbled, rubbing your forehead. “I’m at my friend’s place. She got a bit… too drunk, so we crashed here for the night.”

Jake exhaled, sounding both relieved and a little exasperated. “Alright, just hang tight. I’ll come get you.”

You thanked him, already feeling a bit better just knowing he’d be there soon. After the call, you stumbled to the kitchen, grabbing a water bottle and downing some Advil. You checked on your friends, giving soft goodbyes to those who were half-awake and murmuring farewells to the ones still knocked out.

Stepping outside, you saw Jake’s car pull up, and you hurried over to climb in. As you slipped into the backseat, you noticed both Jake and Heeseung in the front seats, eyes full of concern as they looked you over.

“Good?” Jake asked, glancing up and down to check on you. You nodded, managing a small smile as he pulled away from the curb.

When you finally got back home, Jake parked and turned to open your door, but Heeseung beat him to it, sweeping you up in his arms so you wouldn’t have to walk barefoot on the pavement. You laughed, feeling a bit like royalty as Jake carried your heels and purse alongside.

Once inside, they led you straight to the bathroom, letting you shower and wash away the remnants of the night. As you closed the door, you couldn’t help but feel grateful, a smile spreading across your face as you let the hot water soothe away the morning’s aches.

After finishing your shower, you called out for one of them to bring you some clothes. “Hey, could you grab me something to wear?”

A moment later, Heeseung’s voice came through the slightly cracked bathroom door. “I got you.” You heard a rustling, and then he slid a pile of clothes through the gap. You reached out, taking them gratefully.

“Thanks!” you replied, quickly pulling on the comfy oversized shirt and sweatpants. Once you had dried your hair with a towel, you opened the bathroom door to find both Jake and Heeseung sprawled out on the couch, looking cozy under a soft blanket.

You joined them, settling down in the middle, feeling the warmth radiating from both of them. They shifted slightly, making room for you as you grabbed some popcorn from the bowl resting on Jake's lap. The familiar comfort of their presence wrapped around you like a warm hug, and you let out a content sigh as you nestled deeper into the cushions.

The movie played on, but your eyelids grew heavier by the minute. The soft light from the screen flickered in the dim room, casting gentle shadows over their faces. You leaned your head against Heeseung's shoulder, feeling his warmth seep into you.

As the movie continued, you felt Jake's hand brush against yours, and his fingers intertwined with yours, a comforting gesture that lulled you further into relaxation.

Eventually, the movie ended, and you barely noticed Jake turning it off. Heeseung glanced down at you, noticing how peaceful you looked, and he exchanged a knowing look with Jake. They both smiled softly before leaning back against the couch, pulling you with them.

Before long, the three of you were all asleep, the quiet hum of the world outside fading into a blissful silence as you cuddled together.

----

The atmosphere in your room was relaxed and comfortable as the three of you lounged together, the glow of fairy lights casting a soft ambiance. You felt a sense of warmth and belonging, but there was an unspoken question hanging in the air—what was this dynamic you had built with Jake and Heeseung?

After a while, you turned to them, curiosity piquing your interest. “So, what do we call this? This… thing we have going on?”

They both exchanged glances, a playful light dancing in their eyes before they climbed into your bed. Heeseung settled on your right side, while Jake nestled to your left, and you found yourself sandwiched between them.

“We like you a lot,” Heeseung confessed, his voice low and sincere, “and we’d love to have you for ourselves. But we also don’t want to see you with any other guy.”

Jake nodded, chiming in, “Yeah, same here. We both want you.” He paused, his expression serious. “At the end of the day, we’d rather share you than lose you to someone else.”

Your heart raced as you processed their words. You couldn’t help but smile, feeling warmth spread through you at their admissions. “But wouldn’t one of you get jealous of the other?”

“No,” Heeseung said, his tone firm yet gentle. “We both love you, and that’s what matters. You belong to both of us.”

As you gazed at them, a flutter of excitement and apprehension filled your chest. “I— I’ve been unsure about this. It feels wrong to like two friends at the same time.”

Jake pouted, tapping his lips thoughtfully. “Doesn’t seem wrong if we like you at the same time,” he reasoned, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

You found your gaze drawn to his lips, swallowing hard. The tension in the room shifted, and Heeseung noticed, a teasing smirk creeping onto his face. “Looks like someone’s interested,” he quipped, nudging your shoulder playfully.

“I am not—” you started to protest, but before you could finish, Jake leaned in, closing the gap between you. His lips pressed against yours, soft yet insistent, and you gasped in surprise before instinctively kissing him back.

The moment was electric, and as Jake deepened the kiss, Heeseung leaned closer, trailing kisses along your throat. The sensation sent shivers down your spine as he nipped playfully at your skin, and you couldn’t help but let out another gasp, caught between the two of them.

Jake pulled back from the kiss, his grin widening as his gaze landed on the marks Heeseung had left on your throat and the exposed skin of your shoulder. The contrast of their playful possessiveness sent a thrill coursing through you, and you felt heat rise to your cheeks.

“We have to show you that you’re ours,” he declared, his voice laced with a mix of mischief and determination.

Before you could fully process what that meant, both of them leaned in closer, their intentions clear. You gasped as Heeseung pressed his lips against your neck, his mouth warm and insistent as he began to leave his mark. Jake mirrored his actions on the other side, nipping and kissing a trail that made your head spin.

You whimpered at the sensation, the combined heat of their mouths igniting a fire deep within you. Your fingers tangled in their hair, gripping tightly as you succumbed to the intoxicating wave of pleasure and need. The soft sounds of your enjoyment filled the room, and you could hardly think straight as they lavished attention on your sensitive skin.

“Yours,” you breathed out, the word slipping from your lips as they continued their ministrations, creating a symphony of sweet tension and fervent desire. Each gentle tug and nibble sent shivers racing through you, and you could feel your heart pounding in rhythm with their touches.

“Just like this,” Heeseung murmured against your skin, his breath hot and teasing. “You’re ours.”

Jake's hands roamed down your arms, his fingers trailing along the exposed skin, amplifying the sensations coursing through you. The way they worked together, each touch calculated yet spontaneous, made you feel cherished and desired in a way you had never experienced before.

Heeseung's hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as he pressed his lips against yours. You instinctively grabbed his bicep, fingers digging into the firm muscles as you deepened the kiss, losing yourself in the moment. It felt right; the heat between you was undeniable, intoxicating. His kisses were fervent, each one making you crave more, driving you to the brink of madness.

Meanwhile, Jake positioned himself on the other side, his fingers weaving into your hair as he leaned in to claim your now vacant lips as well. The sensation of his mouth on yours was electrifying, and you could feel the warmth radiating from his body. Your grip tightened around his neck, anchoring yourself as he kissed you with a mix of urgency and devotion.

In that tangled mess of limbs and kisses, they continued to explore every inch of your skin they could reach, marking you with their lips and leaving a trail of warmth in their wake.

Heeseung's kisses danced along your collarbone, trailing lower to your shoulder, each gentle nibble igniting a new spark of desire. His hands roamed your sides, fingertips brushing just beneath the hem of your shirt, teasingly inching upward as if he were mapping out every curve of your body.

Jake, on the other hand, his hands glided down your back, holding you against him as if he never wanted to let go. He would pull you closer, the heat radiating off him intoxicating. With each kiss he pressed to your lips, he’d angle your head just right, deepening the kiss and making you melt.

As Heeseung’s mouth found its way back to yours, he captured your lips in a heated kiss, his tongue teasingly brushing against yours. It was playful yet fervent, drawing soft moans from you as you surrendered to the sensations. Your hands were restless, instinctively roaming to their arms, gripping tightly as you sought to anchor yourself in the overwhelming pleasure.

With every caress, they exchanged knowing glances, a silent agreement to share this moment entirely. Jake leaned down, kissing a path from your shoulder to your neck, nipping lightly at the sensitive skin while Heeseung took his turn, trailing kisses down your jawline. You gasped at the sensations, feeling completely lost in the ecstasy of it all.

“We’ll take care of you.” Heeseung murmured between kisses, his breath hot against your ear.

Jake’s hand slipped beneath your shirt, his fingertips brushing against your bare skin, sending shivers coursing through your body. “Yeah, we’re not letting you out of our sight,” he added, his tone both playful and serious.

Your mind raced with thoughts, a delightful confusion enveloping you as you relished in their attention. All you could focus on was the pleasure they were giving you, the way their bodies enveloped you.

[a-certain-romance]

(Heads up reader has a dick) thinking about ei and miko (separate) meeting you after moved to Inazuma to start a new life and them falling head over heels for you.

Thinking about the rollercoaster of emotions they feel when you bring your child to meet them for the first time.

How Ei would be trying her hardest not to scare the little one and Miko would tone down the teasing a bit.

Everything seems fine until your Ex tries to win you back. They try everything to woo you back into their arms, even going so far as to offer to have another child together. Of course this doesn’t work and you stay with your new lover but your Ex doesn’t give up.

This leaves your current s/o jealous and needy. You being the good partner that you are offer to prove that your Ex means nothing to you anymore by treating your new lover to a romantic week long vacation where you intend to not only remove any doubt from their minds but also fuck them until their bellies swell with you babies

Characters/Ships: Ei & Miko x fem!reader (separate)

Warnings: fem!reader has a cock, Jealousy (both), riding (Ei), breeding (both)

A/N: sorry I’m answering this so late!! Regardless was fun to write especially the fluff

Watching Ei bond with the child was interesting to say the least. She was more scared of the child than the other way around. Being in a 500 year meditation sadly didn’t do her any favors socially. Your child however had no fear whatsoever and gladly welcomed Ei with open arms. Though surprised at this, Ei slowly began to soften around the kid as you and her got closer. She would always engage in small conversations about school, life in Inazuma, and eventually their love for sweets. They shared a strong desire for dango and it became a weekly occurrence for you three to go into the city and buy some from the local vendors. Normally, you would’ve insisted on paying for their treats, but having your clueless and powerful archon around gets you a lot of stuff for free.

Things felt perfect between the three of you. You finally found someone who has your best interests at heart. But the one thing that threatened your family was your ex. One confrontation from them made Ei’s blood boil. A vacation was just what you needed to spend some quality time away with only your lover (and to make sure she doesn’t unleash her Musou no Hitotachi on them).

~

Now, away from the world, Ei feels better about confiding in you. “My love?” she starts. “It has been a long time since I’ve felt for someone so strongly. And seeing that love be threatened, it…it reminded me that not everything is eternal.” She frowns, sitting next to you on the bed. Ei takes your hands in hers.

“Let me give you everything. Allow me take care of you tonight.” She kisses you deeply, all the while she takes off both your clothes. Ei lays you down on the bed and makes sure you’re comfortable before moving on top you.

Ei sucks in a breath before sinking down, spreading her legs to accommodate you as she carefully penetrates herself. Her folds hug your cock so deliciously. Oh how pretty she looks taking all of you. How did you get so lucky? You whisper soft reassurances into her ear as she adjusts to the length. “Ready to start moving?”

Ei nods, a pleasured sigh escaping her lips as she sets the pace. Her body moves wildly against you. Her breasts jiggle with every bounce while her hips ram into yours repeated. The pleasure has her seeing stars; thus shutting her brain off instantly. But for Ei, it isn’t enough.

Through the haziness Ei surges forward so that her chest presses against yours. She towers over your body—arms on either side of your head to stabilize herself—and kisses you senselessly. “Please, please Ei,” you beg, “let me fill you up. Let me fill you with my seed, make you mine.”

Head fuzzy from lust, her hips thrust down harder, making the tip of your cock slam against her cervix again and again. Your warm essence floods her pussy, forming a white ring around the base of your cock. Ei exhaustedly rests her head under your chin and your fingers are quick to card through her hair.

“I’m so lucky to have you. You’ll be the perfect mom.”

Imagine your kid and Miko teaming up to pull pranks around the shrine and Inazuma city. If you were to find out about any of their schemes Miko would always be the one to persuade you to let them off the hook just this once (for the nth time). And although she can have a busy work schedule, you’re always welcome to let your child explore the shrine if any work emergencies come up. Miko would watch in amusement as your child talks the ear off the fortune teller despite her seething expression or play with the foxes under the sakura trees. She even gives your child treats to feed the furry little animals and teaches them where they like to be scratched or pet. It’s all fun and games until the child uses those same tactics on Miko herself.

Miko trusts your ability to stand up to your ex since they’ve reappeared in your life. But a little intimidation could never hurt. One night Miko came home with the smuggest smile on her face, and the next few days contact with your ex ceased to exist. You don’t know what Miko had done to scare them off, but you knew that you wanted to thank her with a short weekend trip.

~

“Look at you, are you close already?” she teases. The sound of your skin slapping against hers echoes throughout the large hotel room. Miko all but dragged you inside the second you two checked into the resort.

“I can’t help it… I missed being inside you.“ you reply through a moan.

“Such a desperate little thing,” Miko husks, “so needy for me and only me.” Her nails scratch the back of your head, maneuvering you so that your lips are pressed to her neck. “You should mark me more often. Maybe then that woman would’ve stoped while she was ahead,” Miko tsks bitterly. An idea pops into her head. Or perhaps, you could do something a little more permanent.

Miko’s legs wrap securely around you. Your hips stutter as your strokes of your dick, ready to pull out before it’s too late, plunge deeper than you were expecting. Miko’s eyes glow brilliantly, and her nails claw into your back to pull your body against hers. “You better not stop fucking me,” she warns. “You’re either going to cum inside me or not at all.”

“But if I don’t pull out—“ “I don’t want you to.” she admits in a pleading tone. The image of her carrying your next child (or perhaps children considering she’s a kitsune) had been stuck in your mind for weeks. You certainly weren’t opposed to her insistence. Not when her walls felt so perfect enveloping around your length.

A desperate, frustrated whine leaves her lips. “Please, archons, just finish inside me!” She begs. And as much as you would have loved to hear that breathy whine of hers beg just a little bit more, you comply, and thrust deeper into her. Miko babbles incoherent curses as she feels you pulsating within her. She arches when your release shoots deep inside. Surly your load should do the trick. But just for good measure…

“Again.”

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen - im a college student who has known i like girls since i was a kid but i still can't pick up the courage to tell my parents. they're not virulently homophobic or anything and i know for a 100% fact that they love me unconditionally, but i also know they'd be much happier if i was straight. they're older and the culture they were raised in just doesn't really understand or accommodate anything else, though they are always respectful towards lgbt people they know.

i am completely secure in the knowledge that they love me so much they'd come to an understanding of it eventually, but i know at least at first it would cause a lot of turmoil and worry for them and a lot of really uncomfortable questions and explanations for me.

i know i can't keep it a secret forever and i don't want to live a lie all my life to the people i love and value most. and i know they wouldn't want that for me either. but the thought of sitting them down and telling them is the most terrifying thing in the world. i just can't do it. i'm too scared to rock the boat. do you have any advice?

I was in a very similar situation when I was your age. I was pretty sure they would continue to love and support me but also knew mom would be sad and worried and I wondered if dad would feel hurt. I waited until after college when I had a job that provided a living wage, health insurance and stability without their financial help. I made dinner plans with them and showed up with Chinese take out from Dad's favorite place. We sat down and I could immediately feel my ears burning and my face get hot. I looked over at them from behind the giant glass of milk mom poured each of us and realized I was in my "childhood" seat and they were in the same spot as always except now I was 23. They clearly saw me as the "baby" still. I was the youngest, probably the easiest kid to raise. I did my homework, did my chores and played without them entertaining me.

Immediately the worst case scenario ran through my head. "what if they kick me out", "what if they yell" "what if they tell me I am bad or gross or just mistaken". I had to really push all that aside at look at them as the mom and dad who had always been there for me. I reminded myself that I had my friend group, my sister, my best friend on my side and I would be okay. BUT loosing mom and dad would be horrible. I remember my exact words "Mom, Dad, Jen (my girlfriend at the time) is not just my friend. I am gay and we are together. Mom started crying and Dad looked at her surprised. "Doris. We already knew this" and she said "I know but it just means life is going to be harder for her. At that point my dad responded with words that chanced my life. He said "This is Jippy (my nickname) we are talking about. She will be just fine".

I guess my point is they might say some dumb stuff, ask stupid or even mean sounding questions but give them the benefit of the doubt that it comes from love. They don't need to understand to love you but bonus points to them if they want to or try to understand more by asking or having a conversation. It is okay for you and for them to set boundaries. They might ask for a head up before you bring a girlfriend to dinner or they might request no physical affection until they can process. Give them the grace to work through things. You have been thinking about this for years. They might have just had their entire life plan / dream for you upended. OR most likely they knew it already but hearing it confirmed can be hard.

Don't take abuse or bullying. You can also set your boundaries. Be prepared to be independent but allow them mistakes and missteps without harsh consequences if you sense they are trying.

You can start the conversation with "i love you and you both mean a lot to me so I want to be honest with you about something important to me. I am a lesbian. Let them know they are important and you trust them right up front.

I hope this helps and keep in mind, You don't HAVE to tell them until you are ready .

[nyverieee]

SLYTHERIN BOYS WHEN IN LOVE headcanons

including: mattheo, blaise, tom, draco, theo and enzo.

MATTHEO RIDDLE:

-charming and flirtatious: this boy is VERY good with his words and he knows how to make you feel seen and heard.

-affectionate in private: in public, the most yous will do is hold hands and maybe a rare kiss STRICTLY on the forehead because it may ruin his ‘fierce’ image, but in private he cannot keep his hands off of you.

-romantic gestures: although he wouldnt be the PDA type of guy, he always buys you flowers, writes letters to you and showers you in attention “just because”

-physical affection: mattheo secretly loves when you play with his hair, cuddle him, hold his hand and scratch his back and although he would never tell you, but he finds ANY excuse to touch you when nobody looks— a hand on your thigh, on your back and even on your arm he loves it when you get close to him

-deep conversations: mattheo loves the midnight deep conversations yous have— even if he falls asleep during them sometimes.. but he values every part of it and likes listening to how you feel.

-the little things: mattheo will remember the little things, your favourite book, your favourite drink, even your favourite hairstyle and he will make sure your always taken care of.

-REALLY jealous: mattheo can get really jealous sometimes which may cause arguments and a hard time in the relationship, if he senses another person getting close to his partner, he will make his dissatisfaction clear, even if it’s passive-aggressive comments like, “so you were with him today? Interesting.”

-isolation: if he finds that you become distant or dont show as much attention he WILL isolate himself until you notice just so that youll start paying more attention to him— and if you decide to ignore it he will say stuff like “do you still love me?”

-pet names: darling, love, angel, sweetheart and princess

BLAISE ZABINI

-stability and consistency: blaise does NOT play mind games, what you see is what you get he will not switchup randomly.

-quiet gestures of aftection: while hes not loud about how much he loves you, you can tell specially when he makes food for you, leaves little notes, inside jokes or even your favourite drink when he knows your busy.

-loves spending time: blaise LOVES spending time with you, specially when you dont expect it, he loves suprising you by taking you to your favourite shops/ restaurants or even just to stargaze.

-respect for boundaries: blaise is patient, which means he understands emotional closeness takes time and hes willing to wait, he will never push you to hurryup and figure things out. he gently assures you that hes not going anywhere and offers warmth and consistency

-physical affection; he is OBSESSED with you and not afraid to show it! he will kiss you infront of everyone (obviously no tongue) and he will always somehow touch you no matter who sees or hold your hand.

-passive agressive behaviours; although yous always spend time together when you dont have the time for it last minute he would often drop something like “i guess your getting to busy for me, its fine, im use to it” just to make you feel bad for it.

-unresolved issues with silence: sometimes, when blaise gets angry at you he will go silent, he will still hold your hand, kiss you, cuddle you, but he wont talk to you— sometimes you may not even know that youve done something and when you keep pushing he will say “im fine, dont worry about it.” and continue ignoring you.

-pet names: princess, beautiful, my love, babe and my soulmate.

TOM RIDDLE

-intensity: toms love is all-consuming and manipulative, often disguised as care or concern. he believes in control, so his affection is about ownership and power rather than pure emotion.

-protective: tom sees you as someone he NEEDS to protect from everything; although it comes with one condition— you have to be his and only his, his magical intelligence will always make you feel safe to and all of his followers will be forced to take care of him.

-romantic obsession: his love isint affection, its obsession. the moment he first saw you, he immediately became fixated on you. not in an unhealthy way of course— but a way where you have his attention almost all the time, when he loves he will make sure you know it.

-affection: although he may not show a lot of affection, but he will in his own ways whether its brushing a strand of hair off your face or even making sure you eat.

-makes you feel special— then takes it away: toms charm lies in his ability to make you feel you’re the only person who truly matters to him, but it comes with a catch— he will remind you that his love IS conditional by saying things like: “I could have anyone I want, but I chose you—don’t make me regret it.”

-isolates you: tom doesnt believe that anyone deserves your attention but him, and he will create dependency by doing things like “you dont need anyone else, im all youll ever need.” or “theyre only jealous because you have me.”

-unpredictable: his love is very unpredictable, one day he could shower you in praise but the next day he could completely turn off and ignore you.

-pet names: little one, darling, my dove, pet, pretty thing.

DRACO MALFOY

-overthinking everything: draco would overanalyze every little interaction, worrying about saying the wrong thing or appearing too eager.

-showing off: Draco would subtly (or not so subtly) flaunt his skills, wealth, or intelligence to impress the person he likes.

-devoted partner: once draco commits, he’s fiercely loyal and protective. he would always ensure his partner feels valued and cared for, though he might not always express it perfectly.

-acts of service: He’d go out of his way to handle small tasks or challenges for his partner, though he’d play it off as “no big deal.”

-vulnerability in private: draco would open up emotionally only in the safety of private moments with his partner, letting his partner see his insecurities and fears.

-protective streak: even during fights, draco wouldn’t let ANYONE else disrespect his partner.

-sparring with Insults: arguments would escalate quickly, with draco resorting to insults rather than listening. He’d use personal insecurities against them, making the partner feel small and unworthy.

-insecure praise: draco might constantly need validation from his partner to feel secure, and if he doesn’t get it, he would lash out or act distant, forcing his partner to reassure him repeatedly.

-pet names: pretty girl, love, sweetheart and princess.

THEODORE NOTT

-slowburn romance: theodore is not one to fall head over heels quickly. he believes in taking time to truly understand someone before becoming emotionally involved.

-softness behind closed doors: In private, theodore is much softer with his partner. He may not be the type to shout his affection from the rooftops, but when it’s just the two of them, he’s more open and vulnerable.

-respect for his partners boundaries: theodore is deeply respectful of his partner’s boundaries and independence. he understands the importance of personal space and will not push for anything his partner isn’t ready for.

-loves the quiet moments; whether its sitting together during study sessions, walking side by side in comfortable silence, or sharing a simple meal, its these small, intimate experiences that make him feel closest to his partner.

-jealousy and protective; theodores jealousy can be subtle but toxic. he may not express it openly, but his behavior could become possessive—monitoring his partner’s actions, questioning their interactions with others, or subtly undermining their relationships.

-withholds affection: he might withhold affection or attention as a form of punishment. Instead of addressing the issue, he could give his partner the cold shoulder or refuse to engage emotionally,

-reluctance to apologise: theodore might struggle to offer sincere apologies, instead offering vague or insincere ones.

-pet names: love, trouble, darling, heart, bella, amore eterno, cielo mio

LORENZO BERKSHIRE

-gestures over words: rather than grand declarations of love, he expresses his feelings through subtle gestures—small acts of kindness, making sure the other person has everything they need, or staying by their side during difficult moments.

-intellectual bond: as a lover, he enjoys deep, meaningful conversations and values intelligence in his partner. hes attracted to someone who can challenge him mentally, and he enjoys discussing books, history, or magic with them.

-physical touch: though not overly touchy, lorenzo expresses affection through small physical gestures—brushing his partner’s hand, a reassuring touch on the shoulder, or pulling them into a brief but meaningful hug.

-romantic, in his own way: though not overly flamboyant, he does have a romantic side. he enjoys quiet moments with his partner, like watching a sunset together or sharing a cup of tea after a long day, creating an intimate, peaceful space where love can quietly grow.

-silent treatment: as much as he prefers gestures over words, he WILL give you silent treatment because he knows how much itll hurt.

-threatening to harm others: im moments of extreme jealousy or frustration, lorenzo may threaten harm or lash out at others in front of his partner as a way to keep his partner in line or force them to feel responsible for his actions.

-pet names: angel, my muse, love, princess, and doll.

[rainerioun]

𝖶𝖧𝖠𝖳 𝖲𝖧𝖮𝖴𝖫𝖣 𝖸𝖮𝖴 𝖥𝖮𝖢𝖴𝖲 𝖮𝖭 𝖳𝖧𝖨𝖲 𝖶𝖤𝖤𝖪? | 𝗉𝗂𝖼𝗄 𝖺 𝖼𝖺𝗋𝖽.

— Hi! This reading is pretty straightforward and simple, but I tried to spice it up with other elements. Wishing you all an amazing week!

ORIGINAL DATE POSTED : MARCH 31ST, 2024.

HOW TO CHOOSE A PILE : The outcome may vary based on whether you receive clear messages visually or intuitively. If you resonate more with selecting a pile visually, trust that inclination. Personally, I believe the notion that 'looks can deceive,' so I prefer to take a deep breath and close my eyes, allowing the pile I'm meant to connect with to come to me. You might see the color of the pile, sense or hear a number, or simply feel its overall vibe.

Please don’t redistribute or edit my content.

MUST READ + MASTERLIST | KO-FI

PILE ONE

Main Focus. Phoenix : Freedom from Suffering and Past Karma. Reincarnation. Nightingale : Fearless Voice, Speech, Communication, or Song.

This week, prioritize expressing yourself openly and communicating clearly. Release worries from past experiences to embrace new ones. Whether through work, hobbies, casual conversations, or anything else, you can offer valuable contributions for personal growth and the benefit of others.

Additional Focus. Step Away from the Crowd. | It's Not an Emergency. Material and Spiritual Prosperity. | Choose Wisely. Teacher : Share Your Knowledge. Teacher — Light : Ability to communicate knowledge, experience, skill, or wisdom.

I was taken aback when I drew two teacher cards from different decks, but it really emphasizes what I mentioned earlier. Allow yourself to unconsciously or consciously guide others. This might involve sharing experiences openly, teaching a skill, or imparting wisdom. This will end up benefiting you in the long term. If you're in a work setting, this could manifest there. If not, it may reveal itself in another form.

If you're currently pondering over a decision or choice, it might resurface later in the week. [ If this doesn't resonate with you, this could also form suddenly and randomly. ] Take your time; there's no need to rush. Remember, it might not be as significant as it seems initially. Approach it with a clear mind and stability, allowing yourself to make a wise decision without being swayed by others or external factors.

If Wanted, Balance Your Root Chakra.

Affirmations: I am centered and grounded. I am safe and secure. I have all I need. I am where I'm meant to be.

Try Using/Wearing: Smokey Quartz, Red Jasper, Black Obsidian, Red Garnet.

Activities: Go outdoors. Walk barefoot. Dance. Meditate. Journal. Ensure you attend to your basic needs. Engage in grounding exercises, both mentally and physically. Physical activities, such as jogging or exercise. Declutter your space. Listen to music or sing.

PILE TWO

Main Focus. Oyster : Patient, Secret-Keeper, Hiding Inner Treasures. Unicorn : Reconnecting to Higher Wisdom or Divinity.

This week, consider starting a journey of deeper self-discovery, even if it's just taking small steps. Nothing happens overnight. Allow yourself to slow down and reflect, practicing patience with both life and yourself. If you're religious or spiritual, try deepening that connection this week; you might discover the answers you seek or a kickstart in the right direction.

Additional Focus. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. | Rise and Shine. The Waiting Game. | Authority. Family : All in the Pride. Victim — Light : Prevents you from letting yourself be victimized, or victimizing others.

Taking it slow is crucial this week. Rushing through life isn't the way to go; instead, allow things to unfold naturally for now. Empower yourself to let this process happen without stressing over easily fixable or insignificant matters.

For some of you dealing with family or close ones, let things simmer for a bit before diving back in. If not, perhaps reach out and say hello!

If Wanted, Balance Your Third-Eye Chakra.

Affirmations: I trust my intuition. I accept things how they are. I am insightful. I see and think clearly. All I need is within me. I trust in my decisions.

Try Using/Wearing: Sodalite, Lapis Lazuli, Sapphire, Blue Aventurine, Amethyst.

Activities: Visualization. Do puzzles or other mentally stimulating tasks. Do what you simply feel called to do. Pay extra attention to your dreams, and write them down. Get creative. Limit screen time.

PILE THREE

Main Focus. Octopus : Reaching, Yearning, Lacking Boundaries and Direction. Hawk : Watchful, All-Seeing, Messenger of Divinity. Golden Egg : Message at the Center of the Heart, The Unstruck Sound.

Taking quiet time for yourself is important. Embrace the peace and comfort of what you already have. There's no need to desperately search or long for something at this moment. It might feel challenging without a clear direction, but if you've been seeking a sign, consider this it. Pushing and rushing will only lead to a shortage of these things. Allow yourself the time and space to form them naturally, whether you're actively involved or not.

This is just a gentle nudge for a few people: if you've been contemplating starting therapy or seeking help, please consider doing so. I'll leave it at that since it's a sensitive topic.

Additional Focus. Reclaim Your Art. | Celebrate You. Light. | Base Chakra. | Financial and Material Changes. Fullness : Give Thanks. | Conundrum : Up In The Air. Rescuer — Light : Provides strength and support to others in crisis. Acts out of love with no expectation of reward.

For those of you who engage in any form of creativity, no matter how small, consider spending some time alone with your craft this week. You might find it brings even more clarity than before. Embracing the unique aspects of yourself is always a beautiful and necessary thing. Remember, you are strong, and any challenges you face will eventually fade away as long as you continue to love and nurture yourself. Trust that things will work out; sometimes, you have to be your own savior for the right people or opportunities to come into your life.

If Wanted, Balance Your Heart Chakra.

—The Root/Base Chakra card appeared, but I sense that focusing on the heart is more necessary at the moment. You can explore the other later on. If you're still interested, you can find more about it in the lower half of the first pile. <3

Affirmations: Wherever I go, love is all around me. I love myself to the fullest. I am worthy of love. Love flows freely. I feel my heart's calling. I honor myself. I live in harmony. I forgive myself and others.

Try Using/Wearing: Rose Quartz, Aventurine, Jade, Pink or Green Tourmaline, Opal.

Activities: Pamper yourself. Give love and help to those in need. Volunteer. Go to a pet shop. Do things you loved as a child.

PILE FOUR

Main Focus. Panther : Annihilation of the Unnecessary, Purging. Camel : Resourceful, Independent, Knows One's Self.

This week, take a more action-oriented approach. Be bold and productive—it suits you. Try relying on yourself as you tackle tasks and goals. Let go of anything that no longer serves you, that includes toxic people.

Additional Focus. Turn Back. | Connect with Your Soul Family.  Heart Chakra. | Rejoice in Celebration. Self-Confidence : Stand Your Ground. | Watcher: Be Your Own Witness.  Fool — Light : Fearlessly revealing emotion. Helping people laugh at absurdity and hypocrisy.

You need to learn to be your own support. Celebrate your confidence and embrace yourself. Remember, it doesn't always have to be rigid and serious—you can express this through humor and laughter. You can be a strong figure while also being open about your emotions. Connect more with the people around you in this positive energy.

If Wanted, Balance Your Heart Chakra.

Affirmations: Wherever I go, love is all around me. I love myself to the fullest. I am worthy of love. Love flows freely. I feel my heart's calling. I honor myself. I live in harmony. I forgive myself and others.

Try Using/Wearing: Rose Quartz, Aventurine, Jade, Pink or Green Tourmaline, Opal.

Activities: Pamper yourself. Give love and help to those in need. Volunteer. Go to a pet shop. Do things you loved as a child.

[dingo-ate-my-hot-lettuce-crazy]

Rearview - Chapter 2 - Collision Course

Summary: A slight accident on the way back from class might lead to a few interesting conversations with Cas' friend, Dean, from the party. Jo confides in you about her own perception of her relationship evolutions, leaving you to question your morals.

Characters: Dean, Jo, others mentioned

Word Count: 5K

Warnings: cursing, suicidal ideation, talk of sex, improper view of relationships, hatred of Shakespeare, mentions of panic attack-like symptoms, abuse

Author's Note: the drama is ensuing !!! leave comments if you like it or if you hate it LOL

Song: Save Yourself by Milo Greene 

Series Masterlist - Chapter 3

As an English teacher-to-be, you certainly despise Shakespeare. While booking it out of the lecture, down the stairs, and into the mid-noon sun, you shake your head to yourself, wondering how the hell you’ll be able to teach it to kids who are in the same boat as you. It wasn’t that you didn’t understand the Shakespearean dialect (even though you found it to be rather cerebrally demanding), it was that you often wonder why you have to understand it. I mean, you’re reading fabricated old English that you will have to comprehend and translate into real, modern English, with obsessive, archaic vocabulary and hyperbolically plagued dialogue.

And in that moment, you curse yourself. Only Shakespeare could make you use this kind of strong, articulated diction. Damn yond Shakespeare.

Your classes this year are all starting off fairly in-depth. Granted, you finished all of your prerequisites, so now all that was left for these last few semesters were the "big girl" stuff and internships. Shakespearean Literature, Curriculum Design and Instruction, and Advanced Composition, all while you begin to prepare to go to an actual classroom and finally dip your feet into the oceans of high school education. And honestly, even with all these classes and your work schedule on top of that, you couldn't complain.

You're doing ten times better than you were at this time last year. Now, you still have your good and bad days, but it's an improvement from last year. Hell, you could tack on another two classes to your schedule and still have better mental stability than you did last year.

It's amazing what a little avoidance of your trauma distraction could do. 

Although, it couldn't do everything. Separating yourself from the problem was proving to be the easy part, and that had been a stressful journey for yourself and others. It's the constant reminders and echoes of the past that seem to jump out on you on even your greatest days. The nightmares won't even go away completely. You assume it's this lingering fear that is permanently glued to the back burner, but your brain can't ever turn it off. And it's not like you rock back and forth in the corner with wild eyes that refuse to close. You just didn’t know how to feel safe again. Time heals, you convince yourself with pathetic naiveté. You’ll meditate, read a self-help book, and things will start to miraculously look up, right?

As. Fucking. If.

Even right now, as you walk the familiar route from your class to the populated coffee shop a few blocks down, there is an impossibly relentless anxiety in your stomach. The most frustrating part is that you don’t know why it's still there. You’ve relocated, and you have two safety-conscious girl roommates and an overprotective anthropology major three blocks away from your apartment- who insists on texting him when you make it to class or your place when you're by yourself. You’ve surrounded yourself in a completely new environment, void of any prior attachments of the past, aside from being in the same city. So why does it still feel like Nick is everywhere? Sure, he lives in the vicinity of the metropolitan area, but it’s miles away. All you can do is repeat the mantra, shoving your panic down beneath the surface:

You’re safe.

You’re safe someone’swatchingyou.

Out of instinctual precaution, you glance behind you.

You’re sa-

“Oh- shit!” 

You curse as you collide with someone coming from your immediate right, and you turn your head back and stand face-to-leather jacket with the victim of your paranoia. “Christ, I’m so sorry-”

“Woah, hey, don’t sweat it.” A familiar voice assures, and you’ll be damned, that it so happens to be Dean. He steps back as he meets your eyes and smiles warmly upon the recognition of your face. “Oh, hey…” He says your name almost instantly like he’s been hopeful to say it again.

You pinch your eyes shut slightly out of embarrassment and shake your head, “Shit, I’m sorry, Dean- I was so not paying attention-”

“No, no, I wasn’t either, it was my fault, too.”

You huff an embarrassed laugh. “Wow, our insurance companies would hate to see us coming.”

“Good thing I’ve got collision coverage.” He snorts, a smirk remains.

“Your rate must be insane.”

Dean scoffs, “Oh, please. I’m practically uninsurable at this point. High-risk driver, multiple prior accidents on the record…”

“Off the record?”

“You don’t even want to know.”

“That’s okay, I'm pretty sure my 'check engine lights' have been on for years..”

“You should have that checked out.”

“I should.” You finally relent (after running out of other ways to make this situation applicable to people and car crashes).

Dean raises his lips in a lop-sided grin cleverly, “You know, I know a good mechanic.”

You close your eyelids, scoffing to yourself as you remember his major. “Right. I bet you do... Maybe I oughta make an appointment sometime.” 

"First-time customers are on the house." His gleam compliments his convictive demeanor.

Flirtatious. You ponder if this was a 'Dean' thing or a 'Dean with you' thing. Although, you're sure he's had plenty of practice before. Those enticing, emerald green eyes that just hook onto your soul, paired with his nonchalance, "sweetheart" this and his masculine charm that. It would be a damned waste if he hadn’t used his own allure. You’re pretty sure he could get anyone he wanted with the wink of an eye. That begs the question, what the hell was he doing with you?

"I'll keep that in mind..." Your gazes linger, before you add, “Well- uh, I don’t wanna make you late for class.”

Dean swings his car keys in his fingers absentmindedly, “Actually, my class ended at 1:45. I'm not holding you up, am I?”

You hesitate, unsure of how you should answer. On one hand, you could say, "Yeah, I got class in a few-" Four hours from now, "But I'll see you 'round!" You can pretend that you don't want to get to know him and figure out his quirks and his interests. You can pretend that you wouldn't find it fun to imagine what he's like romantically, if he's physically affectionate, or maybe he tells you that you look beautiful when you wake up every morning- of course after you find yourself engulfed in his arms, peppered with gentle, airy kisses on your temple. Ain't it fun to not pretend any of that.

But you know that it doesn't exist. You know it doesn't happen.

He's fucking Jo. He probably just wants another notch on his belt. Another body to the count. Same song, different dance. He'll flirt, and you'll tease, which leads to him dreaming up your futures only to be together for one night, and he's gone after he's chased his high.

But then you think to yourself, Cas would never introduce me to someone of that nature, he's well aware of my past and my stances on those particular men, or boys, more so.

Which made option two a whole lot easier. 

"No, I just got out of my class. Was headed to get gas," You point to Garth's- Coffee and Tea that was across the street and a congested traffic light or two away.

Dean's body follows your direction and he glances back at you with the corner of his mouth lifted with a bit of skepticism. "You know, I hear caffeine after 2PM can disrupt your sleep by three hours a night." 

Funny, you're lucky to get three hours of sleep, period.

"Please, does anyone actually sleep anymore after freshman year?" You challenge him.

His eyes look up, searching in his head for an answer, maybe, until he purses his lips, "Fair point." He draws his teeth onto his bottom lip, his face morphing into a questioning gaze, with a dash of concern, as he watches closely for your reaction, "You want somebody to walk with?"

Score.

"That'd be great, who did you have in mind?"

Shaking his head with a playfully dismissive smirk, he avoids your amused stare for a moment, "You know, you're going into the wrong field here. You're quite the regular comedian."

You gesture with a slight flick of your head for Dean to follow you, now heading in the direction of the coffee shop. "I'd probably make more money."

Dean makes his way to your side, keeping by the curb, "Ain't that sad."

He swallows, he lets a brief quiet fall between you two before he licks his lips and mentions, "I'm glad I got to run into you, uh... you took off rather quickly at the party." He contorts his face into a mild concern. "I didn’t know if I had said something…"

You hit yourself internally, forgetting about your little Irish goodbye, not to mention the last time you spoke that night was when the conversation revolved around his “relationship” with Jo. When things got awkward. Way to go on that one. "No, no, I just- uh...I was starting to feel a little sick off that punch, so I just went home."

He throws his hands up, palms open, in a "no shame" motion. “Well, hey- a valid reason to disappear." 

"I certainly thought so."

“Though certainly unfortunate. You left without a way for me to find you again.” He ventures, faking offense.

You couldn’t hold back the confusion that ran through you at his numerous flirts, “Not to be rude or anything, but…don’t you and Jo kind of have a thing together?”

Dean rolls his eyes at the definitive term you give for the situation. It looks like he hardly liked it to be recognized at all. “It’s hardly a ‘thing’. It’s not serious.”

That answer never fills you with confidence, from any guy. What exactly isn’t serious? How he feels when he’s inside her? The look he gives her when she’s just quenched his sexual thirst? What’s not serious? The shared noncommittal rush of pleasure when she does the thing he goes crazy for- that brings him back to her? The no-strings intimacy mystique, leaving them both driving each other crazy for more, more, more? 

Or did he mean it…was it really mindless, boring, right-place-right-time sex?

You didn’t understand it to begin with. You didn’t care to engage in that kind of sex, anyway. Not that you have standards that are above it, but you just think it dims the meaning of physical connection, which you did value. Not to mention, you had all the mindless sex when you were with Nick. You’re pretty sure you checked out after doing it enough, once it became more of a condition, than an act of love.

“But what does that mean to you?”

“It’s really just friends with benefits. And we hardly really do anything outside of…the benefits. We’re just each other’s entertainment sometimes, that’s all.”

“Oh, that’s all.” You say, almost as if you don’t want to believe that it’s true.

He holds his hands out in defense. “Why do you say it like that?”

“Listen, I’m not judging. Really, truly, I’m not.” You preface sincerely before continuing, “But I’m not trying to get in between that.”

“Jo and I aren’t dating.”

“I know you know what guy-code is,” You give him a pointed look, “Girls have a similar code.”

“So what, I can’t be interested in you?” He looks down at you with a grin, but his eyes are tinged with disappointed confusion.

You scoff, “Not while you and Jo are…doing whatever it is you guys still do.”

“And if we weren’t…”

You pause, stumbling in your thoughts. “I guess I wouldn’t be disinterested.”

“So there is an interest of sorts…?” His grin gets wider.

You run a hand through your hair, struggling to come up with an answer that wasn't quite alluding to an eventual dismantling of his and Jo’s “hardly thing”. 

“It’s more complicated than that. I won’t make promises, but I’ll say I’m not disinterested.”

“‘Not disinterested’.” He repeats, satisfied. “A niche answer.”

“I think it’s necessary for this circumstance.” You shrug, becoming more certain of your reply.

Once you both reach the coffee shop, light conversation bounces between the two of you. Nothing too deep, mostly just the classes you came from and the professors you have this year. You notice his eye contact as he talks to you, how his attention is solely on you, and you feel like you're the only person in the world. It’s honestly distracting- you need a map when you look into his eyes. You have to focus ten times harder to finish a thought around him. You find yourself stuttering if he smiles while you talk.

Coffees are ordered and you give him a sly, contained smile at his Americano order, and he responds with a brag at himself,“What- never seen a guy with taste before?” You figure he might be trying to impress you, rather than order a plain, black coffee as most guys did. You turn your lips into an upside-down smile and tease him with a stereotype, which makes his face fall with a reactive scowl. But, you belly laugh at his reaction, and you swear that you can see him faintly watch with suppressed adoration, as you cover your mouth with a hand to conceal the volume of the giggle. He can’t even pretend to be annoyed with that laugh. 

Conversations mold into new topics. You learn a little bit about his brother, Sammy, who just recently got into Stanford University for Pre-Law. You take note of the sad smile he has when you comment on how proud his parents must be. He asks about your home life before college, recalling your parents’ divorce when you were in high school. It wasn’t a tough subject for you, all you really tell him is that it was an adjustment. Your parents did the best they could, though. That doesn’t mean your dad was Danny Tanner, or that your mom was Carol Brady…but you can recognize that your life definitely could’ve been worse. Especially after witnessing the effects of negligent parents, Nick’s parents. Mom left, and Dad was hands-off. 

Yeah, you turned out alright for the most part.  

“So with a mechanic dad, and you being an Automotive Engineer major, you have to have a favorite car then.” You prompt as Dean holds the door open for you, as the both of you exit Garth’s. 

“Oh, of course.” He articulates with eyes that say “Obviously!”

“So, what is it?” You implore impatiently.

He chuckles with a knowing grin, “The one I have now.”

Grumbling, toyful resignation in your tone, “I’m not gonna ask a third time.”

“1967 Chevy Impala.”

You halt, not stepping any farther as you narrow your eyes in disbelief, “Yeah, right. You have an old, classic muscle car.”

“I do,” Dean verifies with an assured smirk.

For a stunned couple of seconds, you read him to see if he was shitting you, but you believe him. “Well, you know what, mark me impressed then. That’s pre-tty fucking awesome.”

He sticks a hand in his pocket with the other hand holding his coffee out to point down the street, “I’m parked pretty close to the garage down the street. I can drive you home if you want to see her-”

“No-” You blurt out sharply, surprising yourself and Dean. The blood leaves your face for a second, reeling you into a confined panic.

You haven’t let anyone drive you in months. Not since the accident, not since Nick-

Damn it. This had been one of the few impressions Nick left that actually manifested into a foreseeable problem. It’s why you walked everywhere. From the apartment to class, to the store, to Garth’s, to everywhere. Just the thought of being in another car with someone driving you made your heart race. Trapped in a confined space, in the hands of someone else who had the power of your life in their hands, in more ways than one. You refused kindly anytime Cas offered to drive you, even to Charlie. Although, Cas had practically forced you that night to let him drive you, for the sake of your own safety and escape, even then you were griefed with fear and had nearly hyperventilated in the car. You felt guilty, allowing this stupid, barely rational fear to dictate your life, but they accepted your refusal with just a concerned afterthought. And worse, now Dean had no clue why you just denied him of showing you his pride and joy.

Blinking your eyes back into the present, you apologetically shake your head at his fallen expression, “Sorry- I don’t really do well… with people driving me. Anyone…it’s a- thing…” You lamely excuse yourself. 

“Okay… no worries. Uh, maybe I can still show her to you one day.” Dean leniently suggests, his face still pinched with perplexion and a hint of worry.

“For sure,” You assure with a pleading tone, “But, don’t let me hold you up from getting back. I have to walk to my apartment in the other direction, so…” The pleading trails off into one of a shamed acceptance.

“You’re not holding me up,” He says your name with a soothed promise, “I’ll walk with you. If you’ll let me, of course.”

“Dean, you definitely don’t have to-”

“I want to,” He lifts his head, asserting a masculine, but gentle attestment.

You relentingly exhale, face gleaming with a grateful glow, “Well then. Who am I to stop you from getting the things you want?”

He says something like “Damn right,” before matching your pace down another street as you make your way to your apartment complex.

“So, am I allowed to ask? Or is it off limits?” Dean raises a cautious eyebrow.

Staring straight ahead, you bite your lip, “Oh, the uh- the car thing?”

He treads carefully. “Yeah, the car thing.”

You rub your unoccupied hand at your neck, tensing your shoulders slightly, but ultimately offering, “I mean, it’s not interesting, but it’s not…off limits.” 

Dean doesn’t look quite convinced, but his curiosity gets the better of him, and he queries, “It doesn’t have to be interesting…just wondering.”

Blowing an exaggerated breath of air, you shake your head, “I mean, I was involved in an accident a couple months ago. Someone was driving my car…totaled it. So, I don’t have a car, but I’m definitely not ready to drop that kind of cash, yet.”

You can’t see him while you kick your feet in front of you, avoiding his gaze purposefully, but his jaw is clenched as you tell him. “Someone else totaled your car? That’s all kind of fucked-up. Did they at least give you reparations for it?”

You take a bit too long to answer, and Dean’s eyes snap open wider after he blinks, “You’re kidding.”

“It’s a long, long story,” You justify, not giving him much more of an explanation, “But, I don’t mind walking. I like it, actually.”

Dean shakes his head in anger, although not directed at you. He was livid for you, “It doesn’t matter- that was your car. The words I would have…” He stops himself, attempting to control his reaction.

“Honestly, I’m just lucky to be alive.” Some days you find that statement debatable. 

“That’s about the only good that came out of that situation.” He remarks protectively.

“That and the fact that I have killer calves now.”

He snorts at that, transitioning the mood slightly with your joke, “I won’t argue that.” He jerks his head back, getting an angle of your legs, and smirks in agreement. He speaks up again, “I definitely would never push you to get into a car again, but on your own accord, if you ever wanted to take a ride- I’d be honored to let it be in Baby.”

You squish your brows together, “In…Baby?”

Dean smiles proudly, “That’s her name.”

“I bet she can carry one hell of a watermelon.” 

He replies with a surefire tone, “Well, no one puts her in a corner.” 

Fortunately, nothing along the rest of the Nick-adjacent topics arise, which leads to undeniably smooth, easy conversing. And you hate to admit it, but you can see yourself liking him. Hell, who are you kidding, you do like him. But, God, you did not want to wrap him into your shit. Why take a perfectly great guy and taint him with your devastatingly scarred emotional tendencies? Did that mean you were leading him on? No, not yet. It was just a casual walk back to your apartment. You told him you weren’t exactly at that “interested” level yet. And he understood. He was doing this for you out of the kindness of his heart (?).

The walk back concludes at the outside of the lobby, where you linger and let the conversation die off slowly. He acknowledges that the both of you arrived at your residence, and he looks up at the building, “I take it we’re stopping because this is your apartment, and not so that you can look deeply into my eyes.”

“Who said that?” You quirk your head. Well, fuck. That was a flirt. Now you would be leading him on if you didn’t expect something more from this.

“I just used my context clues.” 

“How impressive. That’s an A+ for you, mister.” You tease, activating your “teacher voice”.

“That’d be the first one in a while,” Dean concedes, laughing a bit.

You give him a slight chuckle back, looking down at your feet, then back to him. “I appreciate the walk back.”

“Don’t mention it. Maybe I’ll start walking more often.” He muses, sticking his hands in his pockets.

You roll your eyes, “You claim to have this beautiful, antique muscle car and you’re going to start walking more?”

He lifts his shoulders for a moment, leaning forward a bit to tell you, “I’ve got some motivation.”

You could not believe his charm. “You don’t even know when I’m walking back from class or wherever.”

“Well then, this would be a pretty good time to ask for your number. So maybe I can find out.” And it sounds like he almost purrs.

You inhale, not looking directly at him, biting your lip in contemplation. “I don’t know if that’s right.”

“We’re not dating,” He restates, “Like you said, she apparently has guys crawlin’ in and out of there.”

Damnit. Is it right to have his number? I mean, he was at least a friend by now. Friends have friends’ numbers.

“If you insist-”

“I’m afraid I must.” He feigns a look of dismay, then smoothly slips his phone from his pocket to hand to you.

You try to contain the smile that peeks out as you insert your number, creating a contact for yourself on his phone, and then handing it back to him. “Happy?”

“I am,” he flashes his teeth with an undoubting expression. “Let me know when you leave class tomorrow if you have it.”

“I just might,” You back into the lobby entrance, my gaze softening some, “Bye, Dean.”

He maintains his smile as he gives you a farewell wave, keeps his eyes on you as you walk through the main floor to the elevator, and waits to take off to his car until he can no longer see you. 

When you amble back into the apartment, the door clicks softly behind you. You lean against it, a rom-com moment playing out by the entrance, where your mind whirls over the afternoon that played out just before you came in. A stupid grin plays out on your face. It was nice to be treated that way again. It's been years since a proper exchange of witty dialogue, eventually leading to the mushy details of the day where you part ways with the intent of seeing each other again. The fantasy of that lasting repeats in your head as you hold onto the feeling.

And the fantasy is quickly interrupted as you're greeted by Jo, currently wiping the counter in the kitchen ahead of you. She glances up and nods her head to you, “Hey.”

You clear your throat, immediately kicking yourself off of the door to head to your shared bedroom, “Hey, Jo. Charlie at D&D still?” You check, an ebb of guilt slightly boiling in your stomach.

“Yeah, she said around 6:30 she’d be back. Speaking of,” She put the cleaning spray she had out back under the sink, moving to press her palms against the counter, almost accusingly. “You’re home a little later than usual, I thought class ends at 2:00 for you?” She eyes you curiously, which is out of the norm for her. Most of the time, you didn’t think she paid attention when you returned from classes.

“Oh, it did, but I ran into a friend. We ended up shootin’ the shit for a little while.”

“Oh...cool.” She bites her cheek, an awkward silence tethers you back from your previous high, before she looks to you with a pinched expression. “Can I talk to you about something?” 

Jo's never initiated much conversation between the two of you alone. “Yeah…what’s going on?”

Jo has this annoyed smile plastered on her face as she brings up the subject. She's almost oblivious as she asks, “It's weird, but... you obviously liked Nick at the beginning of your relationship, right?”

You flinch slightly, eyebrows perking up, “Oh, well- Yeah…I mean, it’s hard to say so now after everything, but there was a draw to him in the beginning.”

“What did…what did that feel like to you?” 

“Oh, man. It’s torturous... I thought about him a lot, and I made every excuse to drive by his apartment complex before I lived with him. I used to go to the restaurant he works at, even though he wasn’t a server, and I knew I wouldn’t see him in the kitchen. I was real stupid for him.” 

It's true. You really used to be stupid for him. You still feel stupid somehow, although in a different sense. While you weren't lying to Jo, you had a hard time recalling why you were as crazed for him as you told her. You remember everything you did before officially being in a relationship, but it's like every remotely positive feeling from that relationship had been violently dissipated. There were good times, but it's almost painful to just briefly be aware that there were times when that sick fuck got a smile out of you. Just acknowledging that he was anything but a dog felt stupid. God, I was stupid.

“Sounds it.” Jo admires.

You huff out a regretful breath. “It was. Emphasis on ‘was’.”

“Right...”

“Why do you ask?”

Jo sighs, and now you're in for it. “I started…I don’t know. I started getting these weird feelings at the party last week. Butterflies, maybe. I don’t know, it honestly has been so long since I really started to like a guy, I guess.” She leans her body onto her forearms that rest on the granite countertop.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah," Her eyes move to yours, almost looking for your judgment, "I know it’s no secret that I’ve bounced between a lot of guys, but, I just figure why go through all the trouble of figuring out who wants a girlfriend or who just wants to get into my pants when I can just initiate it first?”

You tilt your head, lifting a shoulder in a half-shrug, “Sometimes you have to weed out all the bad ones to find a good one. Getting hurt like that, unfortunately, it’s inevitable. Hell, it’s happened to me a few times.”

“But it doesn’t have to be like that. You can hook up first and then be more than a booty call if the sex is good. I mean, there’s no order to these kinds of things.” Jo is sure of herself.

Alarm bells go off in your head at her dating philosophy, if you could even call it that. Of course, if a relationship had naturally progressed from hookups to actual dates, that’d be a different story. A weird, modern story, but still viable. But Jo makes it sound like it was a typical option for finding a partner… which seems a little twisted, shallow almost. You don’t exactly know how to tell her otherwise or feel that you should, so you just nod along with her statement, staying reserved.

Jo ignores the somewhat forced silence you take and continues determinedly, “Look, somewhere along the lines, I just realized that I’m just bored of it. There’s no chase… or back and forth. Guys hardly make any effort when they already know they're gettin' it. I get free dinners and an orgasm out of some of them, which is great and all, but I want something more. Maybe I have to do some chasing, then backing away, then chasing until it forms...it keeps things interesting.”

“Forms...like an actual relationship?”

“Something along those lines," Jo nods half-heartedly, seemingly keeping her hopes at a distance. 

It's hard to encourage the hopes of a falsified relationship, but in all honesty, you're not close enough with her to try and set her straight. You can't slap her silly and say, "That's not love, that's boredom!" She'll have to learn it for herself, and that poor bastard is going to have to see her expectations from miles away in order to get a head start back to where he came from.

“Try it out. I mean, you only live once, and college is the right time to try out all this stuff.” You offer basic advice, afraid true advice would get twisted somehow into further bullshit. "I mean, if a guy has you all tingly inside, then definitely worth the shot. You said you met at the party?"

Jo shakes her head, "No, actually. We've already hooked up a couple of times, but we talked at the party some, and that'skind of when I started to think about things differently."

"Oh...who is he?" A nasty feeling arises in your gut.

"Dean Winchester."

Fuck. It was your poor bastard.

A/N: I'm impressed you made it to here! I almost didn't

[nnuanana]

Saturn as DK (man I feel like a woman)

Saturn as Darakaraka (DK) in a birth chart can signify the challenges in a relationship, it can also point to the longevity of certain relationship(s) in your life, especially with people who display Saturnian traits as well. I mean if both of you are Saturn ruled it makes this much easier. If not, we'll explore that more in depth now.

Let's notice that no other planet means restrictions to or from something as Saturn does. No other planet means mastery at something.

Saturn defo is the military guy amongst the planets. It tells us to get up out the bed now and kinda pressures us to pursue work on something adds some restrictions here and there just so that we stay on the right path that leads to mastery. We just gotta put the work innhhhh..

Now..

What does it say about you? Well, it says you already have all that Saturn stuff under your belt.. well, not quite. There are certain lessons to be learnt with Saturn and these CAN or WILL feel heavy and even like a burden to some. (for me defo)

There is also a pointer to karmic lessons and karmic relationships.. we do not have it easy huh?

Yes, this is literally the EMBODYMENT of "started from the bottom now we're here" relationship-wise, be it romantic or platonic.

At the end of a major lesson here, you'll ask yourself what is pain? I don't know her. (and you won't be dead inside I promise)

You are destined to master that, you need and you will master the heaviest shi. That in the end will make you THE MOST DESIRABLE PARTNER THERE IS.

So that when someone else has the same DK you will respond correctly, like a badass you are

Now to the not-so-usual traits (it applies to both the future spouse and also to you my dear)

1. Responsibility and Reliability

A partner with Saturn in DK may be the one who always pays the bills on time and manages finances responsibly. They often take on the role of the planner in the relationship, ensuring that everything is organized and running smoothly. For instance, if you're planning a vacation, this partner will likely take charge of the logistics and ensure everything is in order. However, they also expect some level of reciprocal actions, even the slightest display of responsibility and/or reliability does well ;)

2. Maturity and Wisdom

Such partners tend to approach challenges with a level-headed mindset. A person with Saturn as DK might be seen as the voice of reason during disputes, offering practical solutions rather than getting caught up in emotional turmoil. For instance, during a tough time, they might suggest practical steps to improve the situation rather than just providing emotional support. Here the dynamic will be already feeling the thing but what comes out is practical advice or solution based on these feelings, rather than just emotional consolation. But, it's also a person that won't let you be dramatic for even 5 minutes with their ready-to-serve solution to your problem, they are just too logical and their solutions are end game lol

5. Challenges and Resilience

Saturn's influence often brings lessons through challenges. A partner might have overcome significant obstacles in their life, such as financial struggles or family issues, making them resilient and appreciative of stability. For instance, they might have started from humble beginnings and worked hard to achieve success, which inspires their partner.

6. Discipline and Self-Control:

A partner influenced by Saturn tends to exhibit self-discipline and self-control. This quality can manifest in various ways, from managing finances responsibly to maintaining healthy habits. Their disciplined nature can motivate their partner to adopt similar practices.

7. Communication Style

Partners with Saturn in DK may communicate in a straightforward and pragmatic manner. They may value honesty and dislike superficial conversations. For example, during discussions about the relationship's future, they may prefer to address serious topics head-on rather than avoid them. They are good with smelling lies but they are also good with telling lies. It's not too good not too bad. 50/50

Conclusion

Saturn as Darakaraka often points to a partner who embodies responsibility, wisdom, and a practical approach to life. These qualities can foster a stable and meaningful relationship, although it's important to balance the challenges that may come from perfectionist tendencies or emotional reserve. But this one depends on the sign it's in. E.g. Saturn is dry on it's own but a Pisces waters it down so it's not as emotionless etc.

Saturn in DK indicates older spouse more often than not however trust your gut on it.

You can make anything work. Without work here baby there is no relationship. That's what Saturn is about. And, the age thing is not always! It's really your preference. Your gut will tell you, your heart and intuition if it's this person. With or without Saturn placements, give yourself the freedom to decide on what's best for you. And what works for you. Then REFINE IT even.

Another controversial take is what if that "spouse" is actually you in a relationship? I did notice myself behaving like a Saturn person with a Saturn dk person 👵🏼

was it a projection? mirroring? who knows? even tho I wasn't supposed to as I'm not that Saturnian at all! and yes, I was the younger in the relationship 👶🏼

another one, I did notice myself acting like a person with moon traits (being like a baby but in a good sense and emotional fr) when I was dealing with a moon dk person.. and I was the older one! so yes, that's interesting 😬

both of these relationships were 4 and 2 years strong. 🤫

Ultimately all my Satun DK placement ppl should not worry about a thingggg and instead focus on bettering themselves in all the areas above.