#we need more representation and I'm making it for myself

[wanderingmind867]

My take on Blue Beetle (Ted Kord):

Ted Kord is known as the Canadian Bruce Wayne. Well, maybe not explicitly by that nickname, but that is the type of character he shall be. He's less dark than Bruce, but you know what I mean, I hope.

Ted Kord is the head of famed manufacturing company Kord Industries. Known around the world for it's research skills and for it's work in the development of new technology, everybody knows the Kord family. They're like the Rogers family, except without a monopoly on telecommunications. But based on the behavior of CEO Ted Kord, you may not always know that they're such a successful company.

Ted was always a shy boy. Early in his life, people around him began to notice just now precocious the boy was. Shy, lonely but incredibly creative and intelligent, ted was head and shoulders above his peers when it came to academics. But he never excelled socially. Ted has almost never had any friends, and his father was a cold, distant rich miser. With his mother having died when he was very young, Ted never really had anyone who cared for him in his life.

To cope with this loneliness and isolation, Ted loved to spend time alone reading. Ted fell in love with old fantasy and adventure stories, as well as with superheroes and superhero comics. Specifically, Ted loved the semi-fictional adventures of The Blue Beetle, otherwise known as archaeologist Dan Garrett. (The stories were semi-fictional because Garrett was a real archaeologist and adventurer in the 1920s and 30s, but he never had a magic scarab or secret identity as the Blue Beetle).

For Ted, these stories were an escape from his lonely life at home. They helped him deal with his cold home life and lack of friends. Ted began to dream of one day becoming a real hero, just like the Blue Beetle he fell in love with.

As Ted aged, he began to feel disillusioned by his family's work. He used to hang out with his dad's assistants and with the factory staff. He got to see how hard their lives were, and how much of their problems could be traced back to his dad. His dad hoarded money, was rude to his workers, refused to let them unionize or get raises, etc. Eventually, something explosive was going to happen. And something explosive did indeed happen.

When ted was around 20 or so, the factory workers went on strike. Around the same time, a bunch of the key organizers of the strike began to go missing. Suspicious, ted began investigating. And what he found really shocked him. He found out that his father was hiring someone to sabotage the strikes by injuring the strike organizers. Outraged, Ted knew he had to do something. But what? And then it hit him: this was his chance. He now had a chance to become a hero, like his idol as a child.

So ted got to work designing a costume and an arsenal of weapons to help take the attack to the saboteur. And just like that, The Blue Beetle was born! He took out the saboteur and helped bring his father to justice! And now Ted Kord lives two lives. Sometimes he's Ted Kord, CEO of Kord Industries, dedicated to making amends for his father's actions. While other times he's the Blue Beetle, one of Canada's most famous Superheroes!

The Blue Beetle was one of the founders of the Justice League of Canada. Naturally so, since he's one of the most famous heroes Canada has. People even know of the Blue Beetle in America, which is shocking considering how often americans forget Canada exists. He was a natural choice to help found the team.

PS: If you're waiting for Booster Gold, I can try and do my take on him too. I'm not sure if I want both of these characters to be introverts who open up around each other (like having Booster Gold really be very shy and his persona is a bit act), or if I want Booster to be more extroverted and Ted more introverted, making them an odd couple kind of deal. I'm leaning towards the first one, but both would work I suppose.

[scarycranegame]

sorry gang im just really mad about how we've gone backwards into believing that certain genders are inherently evil or bad simply for existing and making themselves known. sorry. i guess

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

[aptericia]

Not proud to be here.

--

Ok, here goes draft like 5 of this fucking post. I spent 4 hours tossing and turning in bed last night thinking about this, and then this morning I found a tumblr post that really helped me understand what I was trying to say.

The post talks about how aromantic "advocates" claim that "aros don't take up resources, so there's no reason not to include them!" And if that's actually what people believe, I think I can finally articulate why it is that I feel so alienated in queer spaces.

It's because aspecs in general aren't "welcomed" by much of the queer community. We're tolerated. We perhaps get the luxury of not being contradicted on our own identities, or not being specifically kicked out of LGBTQ-only spaces, but that's the whole point: what we get out of the queer "community" is people NOT doing things, not actually doing things FOR us. And that, frankly, is not enough. We deserve conversations about us. We deserve to have others consider our feelings, even when making lighthearted jokes. We deserve varied, respectful representation in media. We deserve the active deconstruction of amatonormativity in society. We deserve to have space made for us, rather than at most being told we should "go take up more space!" ourselves.

Of course, the reality is that my being aspec is a personal matter that does not inherently affect anyone else. But the same can be said for literally any queer identity. Your being gay doesn't say anything about me, so of course I shouldn't hurt you for it, but why should I help you either? Because your happiness and comfort are important. The same goes for aspecs.

And most of the time, I don't even need anyone to make space for or expend resources on me; I can live fine in everyday, non-queer-specific places without mentioning my identity at all. But it's the queer community that claims it will make that space for me, doesn't, and then acts defensive and morally pure if I call out the hypocrisy because "we're queer too, you can't erase our identities to advocate for yours!!!!"

Again, this post isn't about specifics. I have queer friends who are incredibly thoughtful and supportive about my identity, just as I have non-queer friends who are. I find more solidarity in aspec-only communities, as well as trans/genderqueer ones, although there are still many exceptions. This post is also not about amatonormative ideology, which is extremely common from queer and non-queer people alike. This post is about the reason I've felt so betrayed by the queer community.

--

On a personal note, I remember being so excited when I started identifying as aromantic (and later asexual). Fitting myself into labels has been a lifelong struggle for me; to this day I still can't confidently say if I'm White or PoC, neurotypical or neurodivergent, abled or disabled, cisgender or not cisgender. I continue to struggle making friends because I don't fall into social cliques. To discover that I officially, certainly, was LGBTQ+ lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. And now I'm just so sad to find that despite that, I'm still stuck in the middle. I didn't get rewarded with a community. I still feel alienated from both queer and non-queer people. I know it was silly to get my hopes up when there's such vast diversity in both groups, but it really was a disappointment. Going to my first Pride parade last year was really the moment where I realized this.

[writingwithcolor]

Representing a Jewish Historical Figure in Fiction

@aaronthe8thdemon asks:

I'm writing a historical fiction around a real-life event (Chernobyl) and am basing the characters around real people rather than using actual names. During the catastrophe, a Jewish American doctor went to Moscow to provide aid to critically irradiated patients, and… concisely, I may be overthinking this, but I'm concerned about "how Jewish" to make the character. In his memoir he admits his Jewishness is kind of lax but I don't want it to look like I've skipped out on research and got lazy representing him because that's a problem in a lot of media. I'm currently converting to Judaism myself. But, AFAIK, he's still alive in real life and I don't want to be insulting by insinuating that he's "not Jewish enough" by making it too visible/going over the top. I haven't begun writing the pertinent parts of the narrative yet because this dilemma is anxiety-provoking, and I'd appreciate any advice/opinions the Jewish mods might have, even if it's just that I'm overthinking it. PS, thank you for running this blog, I know it's a lot of work and I've learned so much by following you.

If you do research and write a historical figure accurately and someone takes issue with your accurate portrayal because it doesn’t fit their needs for representation, that seems misguided of them. We don’t have the same control over reality and history that we do over fiction, where we get to make all of the choices.

I guess the key is to not make this person’s secular Jewishness/lax Jewishness “loaded”, like stop letting it take up space. You know how I’m half German? I’m also a good portion Polish, on the other side, but I never talk about it or think about it because that half of my family turned their backs on Poland entirely because of antisemitic abuse (if you want to get into why the German side didn’t considering they had even worse reasons, that’s a whole separate topic about German Jewish identity but anyway). But I don’t walk around like “oh I am DISCONNECTED from my POLISHKEIT i am SO LAX at being POLISH” it’s just not… relevant?

Him being secular or whatnot is reality (apparently; I don’t know the guy), but the slant of your writing, the way your writing interprets that secularness, is on you and your tone and your approach. So if you are looking at born-Jews who are whatever about Jewishness a certain way because you’re currently doing all that intense study just to join the tent, that might be a good thing to go back and filter out on an editing pass.

–S

It’s true that I’ve called for more representation of Jewish people who fall outside the false dichotomy of Orthodox/Secular, so I think I have a responsibility to clarify that neither of those are inherently bad representation OR bad ways of being Jewish. No single instance of a Jewish character being shown as either Orthodox or nonpracticing is the problem, and a narrative that frames either as being bad is engaging in antisemitism even if Jewish people are involved in the production. The problem isn’t that both of those extremes gets portrayed but that the majority that exists between them never does. That said, you’re portraying a real person, not inventing a fictional character.

If you choose to erase the complexity of his real-life Jewish decisions--and I hope that in the course of this project you’re doing much more research into the realities for Soviet Jewry than I could handily include in this blog post--then that’s not as much better representation of someone like me than it is an implication that there’s something wrong with being someone like him. It denies the dignity of a nonpracticing Jewish identity, and that feels to me like more harm than an accurate and respectful portrayal of a real-life historical figure who did not, in his lifetime, engage in Jewish ritual practice. 

It’s true that you’re fictionalizing the characters, and if your other characters are notably different than their inspirations it does less harm than if he were the only one fundamentally altered, but even so it feels like saying that ritually observant Jews are more “real” than nonpracticing ones. 

Instead, as you research for this project and your upcoming conversion, I encourage you to look for clues to a Jewish outlook in the words and life of the real-life person. This is a doctor, someone who traveled to try to save lives and give comfort, and I defy the idea that because he did not observe ritual practice those choices were without basis in Jewish values. 

-Meir

[neil-gaiman]

hey mr gaiman. i saw that this post got revisited and wanted to address it.

i submitted this ask over a year ago on my old account and it was one of the stupidest things i ever did. it was my first tumblr account. id only been really online for a few weeks. i was 13. i was just coming back to school after a global pandemic.

ive been a fan of good omens for years and a fan of yours for longer. i was brought up reading odd and the frost giants and fortunately the milk, and as i got older i fell in love with your norse mythology book, good omens, snow glass apples, the sleeper and the spindle, and more.

i was excited to see one of my favorite authors on tumblr and tried to come up with the most bold and interesting ask i could think of.

i was rude and misinformed and it was a stupid choice of me to send it in with no thought.

but i got feedback. some in the form of kind suggestions. quite a few in the form of death threats and people telling me to kill myself.

while those specific messages were rude and hateful, the point got across. i educated myself to the best of my abilities, and eventually came back online.

not only did i misuse the term queerbaiting but i also implied that you were not an amazing supporter of the queer community. that’s absolutely incorrect. you’ve done so much for us with activism, representation, and overall kindness.

i wanted to address this ask that got so much attention because despite moving accounts i still feel guilt and shame every time i see it, or even when i interact with any of your posts at all. i need to actually address it.

also, i wanted a proper apology to be made. by no means am i now a saint. but im trying to be more thoughtful about thinking before i speak.

whether or not you decide to make a public response to this, i think ill find some peace knowing you’ve received this. ive needed closure on this for a long time.

im overjoyed and thrilled that season two is so close. thank you for tolerating the dumb questions of pretentious kids and thank you for helping to create a world where we can grow to be better than we were.

First of all, and most importantly, I'm really sorry that people were mean to you. That's awful. And nobody should ever have to deal with death threats or online threats and attacks, let alone a thirteen year old.

And secondly, you do not owe me an apology. I figure I have a Tumblr account, people ask things. Mostly they'll get nice replies, occasionally (normally when I'm being asked the same thing over and over) the replies will be terser. There has to be a certain amount of rough and tumble though, and occasionally I'll grab an ask that represents all of the asks I've had on that subject, and try and reply to all of them. That's what happened to you. I was getting tired of being accused of Queerbaiting for the occasional answer about a Season that was not yet released and about which nobody knew anything. And I needed to tell everyone who was doing this that they had to stop now. You had the misfortune to be the representative of all of the other people.

If you are not making mistakes you are not human and you are not learning anything.

(I wish there was tone of voice on the internet.)

And I think you are growing and learning and will make a fantastic adult.

I really hope you enjoy Season 2 when it drops.

[thatbitchery]

I did NOT waste my early 20s, everything I think I did right to achieve my goals by 25

To be fair, its more 15-25 than its 20-25 lol

1 . Beggars can not be choosers- You HAVE to earn the privilege to be choosy, and before I earned mine I got around doing whatever needed to be done and picking up whatever came my way. From personal assistant to working at a fish preservation plant to tutoring to babysitting I'd have picked whatever job came my way. This mostly taught me time management I was working three part times and managing high school and its multiple extra curriculars and being class topper and captain and chair of couple of clubs and organizations. I'm naturally predisposed to split attention and I found a way to make it work for me. Add on the work ethic and the social navigation required to get around all my many worlds with different rules and different people where I had to play different roles. It was a formative experience and the money was the least important thing I walked out with. Till date I'm not really picky with what I do. If it seems worth it I'll take it, so my Cv is all over the place. Important to add my curiosity made everything easier, I'm hungry for life.

2. Will Forever credit my pathological compulsive need to know myself with my progress. I'm always learning about myself. Through my thoughts through my actions through my experiences through others I have a PhD in the field that is me. I came across a quote that said something within the vicinity of you are not your thoughts you are your actions and if you want to know who you are watch what you do when you are alone an there are no consequences to your actions and I want to scream this on top of my lungs to every single lady- watch your actions. Not words. Not thoughts. You are what you do when you are alone. As always I am a huge fan of lying I think we (women) should lie more and bring gender equality to the dishonesty demographic there isn't much representation there (And crime) but lying to yourself is actually diabolical. You can not do right by you if you do not know you. Majority of us do not achieve our goals simply because those are not our goals they belong to someone that is not us. Whether it's your parent's goals or your favorite influencer's goals or the goals to the version of you you hope to become it doesn't matter you can NOT achieve someone else's goals. And the reason you lie to yourself is because you want to do the dumb thing (being good) and where has that gotten you huh. I have always known who I am and what I want and that has made getting it easy because I know my strengths I know my weaknesses I know me inside out and I do not fight her I embrace her she is me- for this reason I have literally never had self-doubt what am I doubting the blueprint sits on solid ground. Journalling my actions not my feelings and observing myself without judging without trying to be anything just- watching me and my immediate reaction to everyone and everything about me and listening to my feelings no judgement no tuning no nothing I feel what I feel has been veryyyyy handy in my goalsetting and navigating the world around me. Do I fake my personality uhm yes obviously but not to myself. When it comes to me I come naked and raw, and i look at her and think yeah no you're godlike I will give you the world- so when I work for things I work according to my goals my personality my strengths my weaknesses my needs my wants, despite what I'm projecting to the world. Cliche but, I am myself 24/7, even when I'm being fake af.

3. investing in what's important to me and being mediocre at the rest. Society does demand an all rounder and I'm a big believer in give the people what they want so I mastered early the art of looking like an all rounder - pretty, classy, intelligent, talented. I've been in school for most of my life (20 yrs. I'm 25 so) and school makes this SO easy. Good grades join a club play a sport look good and done. So when I show up to club meeting twice a week I will take the editor spot so I can peacefully have my face buried in my laptop and work on what I really care about as everyone else yaps about god knows what and throw some points in randomly just to seem involved (tip, use people's names and echo someone else's point immediately after they make it and quote them - like Aliie said it would be great to X- you seem invested. Just echo the most popular person you'll get away with it) or in class I'll listen because that's when I learn and then go to the library to work on my business etc. Point being I look like I'm an all rounder but I actually only focus on the things I care about- finance, literature, neuroscience, psychology. I don't say no to hang outs or a life to 'lock in' I show up, look like I'm in the room but actually focus on what I love and what's important to me. So I'll be on a dinner table fully immersed in conversation but mentally plotting my next move in my business or memorizing for my exams. That way I don't isolate myself but also don't waste energy on things that don't even matter to me.

4. Learning the Art of relationships. Being autistic + Being foreign + having a five minute social battery + being super bitchy = a very hard time socializing, so I had to actually learn the art of socializing. The books did help YES read the Dale Carnegie book etc but we don't learn in books we learn in experience. It was my many jobs with many people in many different environments that taught me how to people, that coupled up with a Bachelor's in Psychology with a focus in sociology, evolutionary psychology and human adaptation. I know how to people I am a people person. Relationships are where everything happens. Sucess is a process of successful people pleasing. I can, in fact, talk to anyone anywhere about anything, I can make conversation out of a piece of hair or thin air. Every single thing on earth will come from someone. Social skills = survival skills, and relationships are a result of successful and functional social skills. Spending all my teens and early 20's making and maintaining relationships - I'm still friends with people I did odd jobs with in my teens and the people I went to school with and the random millionaires I have met for an hour max. The greatest thing I have ever done is learn how to people. I have made friends in the thirty minutes we sat next to each other and been invited to whole weddings by people I knew for less than hours. Peopling is the greatest skill ever.

5. Creating the right social portfolio. A friend to all is a friend to none but a friend to one is an enemy of the rest. The art of being everyone's friend but tied to no one but claimed by who I want to be claimed by is actually my biggest flex. When it comes to success the only portfolio that matters is your social portfolio. Who are you that anyone should give you anything. Who you are is defined by who likes you. Society runs by endorsement look at politicians. Who you are is measured by who likes you, and it needs to be diverse. The gang member highschooler is supposed to escort you home yapping about his family and make sure you got home safe. The valet is supposed to endorse you and the nice lady at the farmers market is supposed to think the sun rises and sets in your eyes and your ex bf is supposed to say yeah no we broke up but that's my girl right there and the billionaire you sat next to in that one wedding is supposed to bring your name up on his partner's yacht and when he tells his wife your name she's supposed to say- ah yes, nice lady. She has this exquisite pair of earrings she let me borrow and the pastor at church should personally shake your hand after service and ask about your week and then drag you by hand and introduce you to the latest widow on the block that 10000% murdered her husband and say hi so this is one of my daughters, she can drive you home today. Social portfolio is actually your CV. Spending my early 20's and late teens being so woven into society that my absence is notable. Belonging to everyone yet no one.

6. Learning transferrable, socialization and survival skills. Majoring in communication and minoring in Psychology - two of the MOST transferrable skills on earth - can be applied in ANY field ever and isn't confined in one. Having hobbies that demand socialization - Pool, poker, bowling, tennis, equestrian, IR, chess ,go, monopoly. Survival skills- personal finance, cooking, homesteading and cleaning, wellness, health (gut health, reproductive health, brain health), organization, etc.

7. Being a people pleaser to the people that deserve pleasing. I'm not a crowd pleaser (although I put considerable effort into looking like I am) I find who deserves the pleasing and focus on them. I'm a gold-digging social climbing narcissist so this is pretty easy to pull off. i learned really early that how you perform is determined by what the people in power think of you and how they see you and I'm awesome at creating an image I should actually get paid for it. I'll find whoever call the shots or whoever influences whoever calls said shots, how to sway them my way while looking like I wasn't trying and pull it off. I have my first class honors in all but one unit to prove it. It's not that I'm smart (I am though) its that I'm likeable.

BMAC

[morallygreychaoticneutral]

Astarion prefers monogamy.

Again, simply my cup of thought tea steeped from my game experience. Its not everyone's drink. No shame, no blame, it's your game. Warning for triggers and spoilers.

*added note due to misunderstandings.

Please notice I said "prefers monogamy" not "is monogamous". He may be up for added partners later on down the line. But definitely not any time before the epilogue in my world.

So, why do I think he prefers monogamy?

Take..

"Iv never had anyone. Not really. Nothing that compares to you."

And mix that with...

"I had nothing for so very long. NOTHING! Not even my own body!"

And add..

"You're you. Nobody is like that."

Plus countless other comments and actions and you get a bowl full of elf who just wants something for himself only for a change.

Centuries of being forced to give up or share everything. His possessions, his person, his own thoughts. Nothing to claim as own that no one else could take or touch at any moment. I'm sure if anything was given to him, he had to fight to keep it.

I think, he would be a bit possessive of anything he could claim as his own.

You are a gift to him. Something rare and special beyond words. I highly doubt he would be willing to share anything you are sharing with him outside of friendship. I could even see him getting fussy about strangers touching you. Moving you away or putting himself physically between you and whomever just touched you without asking.

Hells, even ascended Astarion isn't 100% game to share.

"As much as I wish to sequester you in a deep chamber of my palace and keep you all to myself...there is much to be done."

But, what about Halsin? He says he's fine with it.

Is he? Or is he people pleasing?

If he had said something along the lines of,

"Oh? He wants to share does he? Of course he does. I'm not up for such activities just yet, but you are free to have as much Halsin as you wish. "

I would have gone on that bear hunt, but he doesn't.

He askes you if you are wanting to sleep with Halsin because he has not been able to meet your sexual needs. And I interpreted that as he's vulnerable and worried he's being replaced for not putting out.

Imagine you had asked your lover to not to look to you for sex for reasons you are working out. They agree and you are just relieved as hell about it.

"You were patient. You cared."

Then they come along later down the line and say they are thinking about having sex with a friend. Where would your mind go?

I would bet hard gold he weighed the options in his head. "If I don't let them do this, they might leave me for good. But if I allow it, they wont have an immediate reason to leave. Halsin is the safest option given his experience."

And what's the best way to feel less awful about a situation we cant control? Create a counter situation where we gaslight ourselves into thinking its fine.

Wheeee!

I'm not saying Halsin's offer was bad, it was perfectly fine, it was just poorly placed in the grand scheme of things. If you and Astarion were having fun again before he suggested being an extra, then it would have been easier to believe he was really fine with it.

If they wanted Astarion to be a poly partner they needed to write it better. Shadowheart makes more sense as pro poly than he does.

So for me, Astarion is a one on one elf.

I am not against polyamory. I am not trying to take representation away. I am not shaming anybody for their choices. There is just not enough specific content to support it fully FOR ME. I was actually excited at the idea of having two partners in my fantasy world. Halsin was very clear and very specific about being on board. Astarion was not. And the choice did not feel right. Add a line somewhere for Astarion where he says "Im perfectly fine with sharing, darling. As long as it is discussed and we are in agreement of course." I will happily be on board with it.

[illuminetic]

Some thoughts about Mel King, Kingdon, autism, and sexuality under the cut.

So I can't help but get a little peeved by this because it's personal for me — as an autistic woman who loves sex yet often gets infantilized by people who know me in real life because I'm supposedly so 'cute' and 'pure' — but GOD. I cannot stand when I see comments from people about Mel King being so 'sibling coded' with Langdon. And the thing is, I understand not everyone will ship them, and that's not a problem at all. I have a life outside of the internet so I don't really care in that deep a way lol. And I don't even entirely blame people who say they're like siblings, because Patrick Ball DID said he felt that way about Taylor and that was how he kind of conceptualized the Mel/Langdon relationship to begin with. But at the same time, I just feel like a lot of the 'omg they're so siblings!' chat is based in the belief that Mel can't be sexually desirable to a man who is traditionally handsome in the way Frank Langdon is. Or people are uncomfortable imagining Mel might have sexual desires or a sexual life at all, with Langdon involved or otherwise.

And then also there's this fine line too of some people saying they head-canon Mel as asexual and/or aromantic — and it's like. I'm not necessarily pissed at that or think it's a problem, because we all want representation and project our own traits onto characters to better understand ourselves or draw comfort. And again — I've heard that apparently Taylor Deardon said that's a valid interpretation of the character. And it is! But it's also like. Oh. So we're completely de-sexualizing the autistic girl. Cool. That makes sense — she's a little socially awkward and nerdy so of course she's not interested in sex! And even if she was interested in all that icky stuff her handsome coworker would never be into sex with her omg that would be so weird they're so siblings coded!!

Idk. This is nuanced — because again, if you're asexual I would never want to say it's wrong to conceive of Mel that way. We're all just playing barbies in our heads with our blorbos, I get it. I'm literally projecting my own sexuality onto Mel because I relate to her, so I guess I've actually just entirely talked myself out of being angry at all lol. So to any and all asexuals who headcanon Mel that way, keep doing you.

It's just a personal annoyance for me more than anything to see comments that imply Mel is a non-sexual being, as someone who sees myself in her a lot and also happens to really like sex. I feel like, because of the social cues I miss sometimes, and the way I am at work and in my personal life with friends and stuff — I am constantly fighting against the belief that I'm somehow 'innocent' or 'naive' when it's like. bud. I've literally had the kinkiest sex. I go to a sex club fairly regularly where I have sex with and/or in front of strangers. In fact, I'd argue part of the reason I like sex so much — and particularly kinky sex — is BECAUSE of the autism. I've noticed, from my time being in the community, that the kink world is filled with people on the spectrum lol. Makes sense — kink is all about rules and structure, controlled and safe (yet intense!) physical sensation. All things that attracted me to the lifestyle because I'm autistic, and the straightforwardness and clarity of communication about sex in the kink community felt like such a god-damned relief to me after struggling to have a sex-life out there in the neurotypical world.

Anyway. Long story short I'm just saying it's absolutely Frank who is the vanilla one in the Kingdon relationship. He's been married for years to someone I assume was probably his college girlfriend. 'Kinky' for him is breaking out the fuzzy hand-cuffs for anniversary sex or something, maybe some light spanking thrown in idk.

To end — I need someone to write a fic where the Pitt-crew plays never-have-I-ever during a night out, and Mel gets shit-faced and has to put down all her fingers before anyone else because there's so little she hasn't done. People keep throwing out more and more outrageous things, eyes going saucer-wide, and Mel's ears are burning but also she just keeps putting fingers down, throwing back shots, and raising a scornful eyebrow at anyone who dares to doubt her or make some comment like 'but Mel you don't seem like that type at all!!'

And Frank is. Sitting there quietly vibrating. Horny as hell. Having some thoughts and feelings about the fact that he knows Mel owns a strap now.

[mrcrawly]

Dr. House is some of the best unintentional autistic representation I have seen in popular media

I think the title is a slight overstatement, but I honestly feel this way. I'm not finished with House MD by ANY means so do keep that in mind, but I'm almost finished with season 2 so this is based off what I have seen.

Also: I am aware that there is an episode where they discuss the possibility that House has Asperger's. Obviously that term has fallen out of favor because Asperger was, you know, a Nahtzee, but I am going to emphasize that House has particularly low-support needs. My source is that I'm autistic and this is a topic I'm relatively familiar with. (Also. please take this with a grain of salt because David Shore also created "The Good Doctor" which is a comparatively pretty poor representation of autism, but I'm going to talk about House MD in its own vacuum.)

Lack of knowledge or concern for social cues. I don't really think this needs explaining, but House doesn't seem to have much regard or respect for social norms. He doesn't care much for social approval or maintaining relationships. I don't necessarily characterize this as specifically being an autistic trait, because this can greatly vary, but this is something I see in myself and other autistic people.

Strong sense of justice and morals. I see a lot of people calling House a "sociopath" simply because he isn't particularly empathetic. But the word sociopath gets thrown around a lot and it really doesn't characterize him well at all. I would argue that House feels cognitive empathy rather than the more emotional sense of empathy that most people experience, but equating empathy and morality is a big no-go. House has little concern for some ethical principles, as the show points out pretty often, but House is never looking to hurt anybody. House is always pretty dry and easily annoyed, but the only time we see him openly angry and upset is when someone endangers a patient. When Chase fucks up the angiogram, potentially putting a woman's life in danger, he holds it against him for ages. And in "The Mistake," when a woman dies and it has to be determined whose fault it was, House yells at Chase in the middle of the lobby over his negligence. Also, House does actually have empathy when it's necessary. He typically softens himself around younger patients and will make an effort to be calm, and when Stacy admits that she and Mark have been fighting and becomes upset, he tries to help her calm down and doesn't try to make the situation about himself. When he thinks that his "nemesis" from school is faking the results of his migraine medicine, he goes out of his way to prove that he's right - partially because, yeah, he wants to be right and get Weber back - but also because he sees this as cheating, and knows it's ultimately harming people.

Very few, specific interests. House doesn't seem to have a lot that he's interested in. His job is one of them, because he gets joy and satisfaction out of solving medical problems. It's also established that he's deeply invested in General Hospital and monster trucks (although I wasn't sure if that was a House thing or a Wilson thing? But he seemed pretty excited about it too). Other than that, he doesn't have many obvious or noteworthy things he's interested in.

Difficulty maintaining interpersonal relationships. Wilson is House's only friend, and House seems to be (mostly) content with that. He cares about other people, in his own strange way, but he consistently struggles to create and maintain personal relationships, whether because of his disregard for social niceties or because of his fear of vulnerability. Again, this may not necessarily be in relation to autism, but it's worth noting.

Odd speech patterns. I'm sick of media making it seem like all autistic people can't comprehend sarcasm. It is common for autistic people to take things literally, but autistic people also sometimes use sarcasm and metaphors more than the average person in verbal communication. I do this all the time. House is constantly saying weird, offbeat things, or making strange, vague metaphors, especially when he's deep in thought.

Stimming. Throwing his ball at the wall. Pacing. Spinning his cane around. Tapping his cane on the floor. Spinning it like a baton when he's alone in the room and trying to think. Sometimes he also nods his head back and forth when he's thinking.

Routine. This one is a little hard to spot, because House actually does seem to thrive when things are changing or new things happen. I see this mostly in House wearing the same things all the time. He's usually wearing some button-up and a blazer/jacket over it, and typically jeans and the same pair of shoes. The shoes are most likely for his comfort, but sometimes autistic people like to wear the same things a lot because it's what's most comfortable or they don't have to worry about unpredictability. Also, it seems like he eats the same thing a lot, since everyone knows he gets a dry Reuben sandwich.

This is just what I noticed and based on my personal experiences as an autistic person. This doesn't mean I think the show discusses autism in the most graceful or meaningful way - I just really like to break down my favorite characters and analyze them.

[sminny-wew]

I had a long discussion with friends earlier about the gender bias in how YA books are marketed and it somehow evolved into me saying "We need more fiction that questions the concept of attraction itself"

We got into how easily romance can be latched onto other genres (romantic comedy, romantic drama, fantasy romance, historical romance, etc.) and I started asking myself what an arocom (aromantic comedy) would look like. I decided, based on an old Tumblr post I can't find that joked about some comedy movie being aro representation b/c it had no romance, that it can't just be "a comedy with no romance at all", because then that's just a regular old comedy. By that logic, SpongeBob would be an arocom, which doesn't make sense b/c it largely focuses on non-romantic plots (SpongeBob working at his job, failing to get his license, the general shenanigans he and his friends get into) and only addresses romance sparingly, depending on the plot of an episode.

It sucks to admit but at least from my perspective, in order for a piece of media to qualify as "aromantic/asexual media" in the heavily sex- and romance-catered media landscape, it kinda needs to address sex and romance in the first place. As wonderful as it would be to escape for a few hours to a book or show or game where romance isn't addressed at all and think of that as aro rep, you can't really call attention to a character's lack of romantic or sexual attraction without acknowledging, even indirectly, that those exact things exist within the text.

I'm not saying sex and romance are inherently bad either. There are aces who engage in sexual activities, aros who date, folks on both spectrums who engage in kink because kink is not inherently sexual and just approach relationships in so many incredibly nuanced ways. It's not just about aspecs also having parents and siblings and pets either, we have friends and coworkers and neighbors. We have interests and skills and hobbies. But it's not just the cishets who place sex and romance on such a high pedestal as "fundamental aspects of what makes people human", I see it within the LGBT community too. There are more than a few openly queer folks out there who don't know or have forgotten that because asexuality and aromanticism are a lack or absence of attraction (and thus a lack/absence of conformist heterosexuality), that we are, to varying degrees, queer as well. And thus media with aroace subtext (or just text for that matter) tends to get excluded from discussions of queer subtext.

I feel like I got a little off-topic and rambly but Idk I just think we need more aspec fiction where people are free to explore all spectrums of attraction as much as they want, ask questions about what defines a relationship, and just generally bear in mind relationship anarchy when they create. I'd like to see it in mainstream media but I'd also like to see it in fanfic too

(Btw everything I just said also extends to people who are poly)

[sparklemaia]

Heyyy!!

So I've recently read a lot of your comics about top surgery, and I really resonate with your experience (I haven't had it myself but I'd like to). I've recently been exploring my own gender and realising I might be non binary, but I guess I feel sort of an imposter in that I want to keep my name and pronouns (afab), despite feeling like I never got the memo about what a "woman" is, which I know is fine, but I guess I was wondering how the shift from your agab into realising you were nb felt?

Like, you seem to describe your gender as sort of unknowable and indefinable, and I guess that's sort of how I feel? I just want to be... More me. I guess what I'm really asking is, how would you define/feel about that shift into realising you were nonbinary, do you still feel connected to your agab, how do you reconcile the two?

Sorry for the long ask!

Hi, this is such a good question! I actually DO still feel pretty connected to my agab. I feel like I am a girl but also more than a girl but also not enough of a girl, simultaneously. (Weirdly, I never ever feel like a woman, and definitely not a man, but I do feel like an adult at least some of the time.) Top surgery was 100% the right decision for me; my body feels so much more correct and I am grateful every single day this procedure was accessible to me. (I was on a low dose of T for a year and a half too, and I basically just got biceps and a sliiiightly lower voice out of it. We stan.) I simply don't have strong feelings about how these things do or do not map onto gender identity or other people's perceptions of my gender. I am generally perceived as female, and that's fine! Like, close enough! I often feel somewhere BETWEEN cis and trans, or even between cis and nonbinary, and sometimes I joke that I'm just "nonbinary for insurance purposes." I mostly use she/her pronouns, although won't object to they/them. I like my "feminine" name -- I chose it myself years ago for reasons unrelated to gender and I have no plans to change it again. In terms of gender presentation I'm usually somewhere in the "tomboy femme" zone. Basically, I've been through a medical transition but not a social transition. Which is not very common, or at least I haven't seen much representation of it! (Be the bad trans representation you want to see in the world, i guess??)

Even though the words are often used interchangeably, I feel more alliance to genderqueer as a label than nonbinary, because nonbinary feels too clinical and "third checkbox"y to me, whereas genderqueer feels more expansive and undefinable and dynamic, with space for the ways in which I both am and am not performing girlhood correctly. When pressed to pick a gender word for myself, that one feels the closest. But if I'm filling out a government form or whatever? Yeah sure F is fine.

A lot of where I land with this stuff, though, is just kind of relaxing my grip on language. Top surgery was a relief, it helped me feel present in and connected to my body. Ultimately it doesn't matter much to me how much of that was *gender* dysphoria and how much of it was just... something I wanted, a way to make my body feel more like mine, to align my mental image of myself with the thing I had to stuff into clothes and walk around the city every day. I believe very strongly in bodily autonomy, and in making our lives as easy and comfortable and joyful as we can for ourselves, without needing to have a clean and tidy explanation for our choices. It is very possible to know with reasonable certainty that you want something, that it will be a net positive for your life, without being able to articulate, even to yourself, WHY you want it. It doesn't need to have a bigger meaning than ahh yes, this feels right. At this point in my life, I'm more invested in marveling at the sheer improbability of my own existence than in wedging myself into the taxonomy of known and acceptable gender narratives. I'm just a person, here for the merest twinkle of a moment in cosmic history, making soup and knitting baby hats and admiring bugs and singing off-key and cutting my own hair and doing my gosh darn best to light my tiny patch of night sky with stories so that you (and you, and you) feel less alone on your own journey through the unfurling dark. Gender is just such an inconsequential detail in the narrative of my life, and pretty open to reader interpretation anyway.

Not having to wear bras is pretty great though ngl

[with-my-murder-flute]

Re: The Tomb of Dragons ship situation/ending, spoilers for A Companion to Wolves and Angel of the Crows

Like I respect Addison's right to write the stories that feel meaningful to her, she doesn't have to just feed us fanbait, not every author has to do that

but I was white-knuckling up to the very last sentence of the book

I have trust issues ever since A Companion to Wolves, where the first book ends and you're like. I guess they have somehow found a way to survive and be happy in their unusual approach to society's sexual mores! And then the next book begins and it's like "Oh actually the main character is just resigned to permanent unhappiness with this, maybe he will dredge up a thin trickle of joy in life focusing on something totally different." And I'll be honest, I put that book down and never picked it up again, because I did the good girl Catholic thing and thought "Oh well I'll never experience sexual joy or deep enduring love but maybe I'll have like idk a career or some shit" long enough for one lifetime. NO MORE. I just gave up and went back to Every Marine a Wolfbrother.

And then Angel of the Crows was like, "I got shot down every single time I reached for queer joy or relationships and the one relationship that does remain is not really what I want or need and maybe I am a bit fundamentally unlovable, but I'll survive, we get by," and I was, again... I recognize this is not a story for me. It's not what I want from a story. But also, I am so disappointed and tired here.

So with this series I was just so much like... she does not owe us fanbait, I have trained myself to think it's tacky and bad to get upset that an author has not provided the exact kind of representation we want exactly how we want it. I watched the Good Omens fandom explosions and don't want to do that.

But at the same time. We have been hearing about the extreme gay agony of this beautiful muppet for FOUR BOOKS STRAIGHT. He is the world's most sopping wet little meow meow, and quite respectfully, if you do not want your fans to form a frenzy and start burning down uninhabited buildings due to an overload of unrequited textual sexual tension, MAYBE DON'T FOCUS ON IT QUITE SO MUCH.

So I'm here at the end of Tomb of Dragons going, "I guess I'm okay with this? I guess I can live? It's not exactly what I wanted and it's not delivered to the degree I wanted, but I guess we can get by here."

Is this what Stockholm Syndrome feels like? I literally don't believe Stockholm Syndrome is a real thing, I think it's been bunk since the day it was created, but also, this feels like what Stockholm Syndrome would feel like.

I will probably be able to like the new love interest! I can see myself in the future being happy with the way the story ended up going in, once I get over the fact that it went there! This makes sense and I can see it and reconciling all those feelings is what fanfiction's for!

I just also... am not so excited to see what else Addison's working on now. Because this overarching theme or emotional focus on the yearning for warmth and closeness and empathy and touch and desire, and the realization that you will just have to make do with slightly unsatisfying substitutes instead, is just way too similar to the defeatist ways I learned to approach life with when I was a child. It's exactly the mindset I wanted to get away from then and am still learning to let go of now.

I don't want to squash the fandom with my disappointment and negativity, and if fandom does just turn into everyone being angry and bitter that the author personally flipped them the bird and actually everything about these books is proof that they've always been shit, no thanks, not hanging out with that again. If I stick around, it's for Thara getting railed in exactly the way he wants in some happier future, and figuring out what that would look like.

[moonstruckme]

Hey!! I saw your posts about colour blind!reader and reader with hearing problems and i really love them, I have to wear hearing aids myself so it is really lovely to see some representation!! So I was wondering if you could do remus x reader (or any marauder i don't mind) where the readers hearing aids broke and remus has to help them communicate for the day while they wait to get them fixed? If you aren't comfortable with that don't worry<33

I'm so glad you liked them sweetness, thanks for requesting! Unfortunately I don't have anyone in my life who uses hearing aids that I could consult about this, so I had to rely on the internet and apologize for any inaccuracies <33

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 653 words

“Moony,” James says, cocking his head at you inside Remus’ car. You’re sitting placidly in the passenger seat while the car trembles with bass. “What’s she doing?”

“She likes the vibrations,” Remus replies, carrying a giant tupperware container of chili. Ever since he moved in with Lily, James has taken to “accidentally” making too much of nearly every meal they have so that his friends are forced to come over and take home leftovers. (“I thought the recipe was supposed to be tripled,” James had said over the phone. “You’ve gotta take some off my hands, Moony, it’s gonna go bad.”) 

“She’s gonna be shaking the whole block if she turns that up any louder,” Sirius says, following them out of the house. “How can she stand it?”

“Hearing aids broke yesterday,” Remus explains, opening the passenger door. James flinches at the sound that bursts out, and Remus hands you the chili before reaching around you to turn down the dial on the radio. “We’re waiting for the shop to call so we can pick them up,” he finishes. 

You wave at the boys, and they wave back with smiles somewhat bemused. 

“How bad is her hearing without them?” James asks concernedly. 

You go to respond, having read the question on his lips, but Remus sets a hand on your shoulder. 

Hold on, he signs to you. This will be more fun. 

You roll your eyes, but play along with his game, letting Remus speak for you as if you can’t do it yourself. 

“She can’t hear much of anything,” Remus says. It’s the honest truth, though he neglects to mention that you’re still perfectly capable of speaking and also quite skilled at reading lips even without the aids. “Some loud noises or things with a deep pitch, but not enough to make out speech.” 

“Huh,” James says. “Well, tell her I hope she enjoys the chili.” 

This is great, Remus signs to you. I never get to practice. 

You’re mean, you sign back, even as your lips twitch at the corners.

“She says she’s sure she will,” Remus says. “Thanks for saving us some.” 

James grins. “No problem.” 

“If she really likes vibrations, she should come take a ride on my bike sometime,” Sirius suggests, and he’s smiling, because he knows exactly how Remus will feel about that offer. Remus hates the idea of even Sirius, let alone you, on a motorcycle. “Tell ‘er, Moons.” 

You’re already looking at Remus with a mischievous smile. 

No way, he tells you. Not happening.

Buzzkill, you fingerspell. 

Remus shrugs, and he doesn’t need to sign anything for you to read and what about it? in his expression. 

“Ooh, they’re fighting,” Sirius deduces, laughing darkly. “This sign language stuff isn’t so hard to pick up on, is it Prongs? You can get the general meaning from their faces.” 

Remus plasters on a smile. Not hard? I’ve been learning for two years, he vents to you. 

You give a little laugh. Don’t listen, he doesn’t know what he’s talking about. But at least tell him I said thanks for the offer.

Remus turns to Sirius. “She says fuck you.” 

You make a sound of offense, slapping Remus’ arm lightly. 

“Okay, okay,” he relents. “She said thank you for the offer. But no.” 

“It’s crazy,” James says with a little smile. “Everything you’re claiming she says sounds exactly like what you would say if you could choose, Moony.” He glances at you, and you raise your eyebrows like I know, right?

“Alright, we’d better be off,” Remus decides, shutting your door for you and rounding the front of the car. “Thanks for the chili, Prongs. And Pads, your bike is banned to her, so don’t offer again.” 

“Buzzkill,” Sirius calls after him, but Remus pretends not to hear, shutting his door. 

“Hey,” you say, your voice a bit louder than you’d usually allow. You’re grinning at Remus. “That’s exactly what I said!”

[for-a-longlongtime]

Hey Anon, I saw your message this morning! 💜

You pointed out "Yall need to be careful of bi erasure" and linked to a post someone made about me. I appreciate the heads up! To be honest, I’m not concerned about people suggesting that I’m doing bi erasure. Whether it’s regarding Pedro characters in canon, head canons, or bisexuality in any other way. But hey, everybody can have their opinion about things, including what they think about me.

I dont talk much about myself here, but my tumblr bio has said from day 1 that I’m a bi woman. My master list mentions most of my fic “is queer (m/m, bi4bi, m/m/f, non-binary and trans characters)”. Folks who have read my fic know I've written pairings where every character is explicitly bi ( Frankie x f!reader x Santi; Peña x Rockford x OFC; Ezra x f!reader x Benny Miller, and WIPs with Joel and Marcus M, Frankie x f!reader x OFC and Maximus x Acacius x Lucilla).

Can bisexual people still do bi erasure? Sure!

Do I worry whether straight folks or other random folks online think I'm involved in bi erasure? Nahhh.

Anyway, I did make some posts the other day based on anons submitted to me about issues re: queer representation in this fandom. Let me just direct you to the several posts I made on that day, which started in response to a question about Renaldo:

"Was Renaldo Gay in the SNL sketch?? I've seen a lot of blogs saying he wasn't?". TL;DR version of my response: the ending of the song states "word to the wise, if you've got wives, hide them from the three bros!" suggesting that Renaldo, Domingo, and Santiago all hook up with women/wives. Considering Renaldo hooked up with Matthew, that probably makes him bisexual (and not the fact that he had Sophie, aka Sabrina's character, dancing up on him) - or queer, or someone who doesn't like to label himself. However, while 'hide your wives' works linguistically as a great punch line to wrap up the song, it does not refer to Renaldo's affair with Matthew (now that is bi erasure, if you wanna be exact), so I did point out that 'hide your spouses' would've been more accurate - but understandably, that's not as catchy. I'm currently writing a Renaldo x Matthew one shot, and I said my headcanon has Renaldo as gay - but that's my interpretation/hc/fic.

Someone wrote to me: Some blogs in the fandom is hellbent on taking away any attention away from anything mlm based with his characters anyway so it wouldn't matter in Renaldo was gay - someone would find a loophole to make him like women. TL;DR I agreed, because there are people who definitely do that. It became part of a longer thread of reblogs with some other folks in which we talked about how Pedro's mlm (men loving men) characters, such as Oberyn, Dieter and Silva in particular, either tend to be canonized primarily as bisexual by people but in fic are almost always paired with women (f!reader or OFCs). Which is fine, but people are definitely interested in seeing more m/m representation for those characters. Someone also brought up that when Pedro characters are paired with non-binary reader inserts or OC, it tends to be mostly afab!nb (or afab!trans characters), and that they were surprised that there weren't more amab!nb characters - that's a great point too.

I made a post with an anon message that pointed out "MLM includes bi, pan and queer men. They might like women. (And/or other genders, but they still like men)". Very correct!

Finally, there was an excellent long message from an anon saying "We need more representation of bi people in same-gender relationships represented" and that even in threesomes or throuples (fic) that include two men, there should ideally be more mlm representation. Once again, I fully agree. Everybody should write whatever they want, but I do often see threesomes that are listed as Pedro Character 1 x reader x Pedro Character 2, but in the fic it's more like reader having sex with two straight men at the same time while they're trying to not cross swords, rather than mlm being represented. THIS IS DEFINITELY CHANGING THOUGH: it's wonderful to see a big increase of mlm characters in threesomes/throuple fics over the past year!

So here is my main issue with a lot of people who are raging about 'bi erasure', and why I've made several posts about queerness within this fandom (not just recently, but from the start). Of course bisexual people exist (hello, it me, for one). Pull up some statistics if you want: there are a lot more folks who identify as bisexual than there are folks who identify as gay or lesbian. I'm an older millenial, so if you wanna talk about bi erasure: the measure in which it happens today is nothing compared to the bi erasure and deeply engrained homophobia we experienced in our teens and twenties from society at large. However:

🏳‍🌈 In your rush to point out bisexuals exist, you're shutting down a much broader dialogue with people within the LGBTQIA+ community. 🏳‍🌈

Because have you noticed how gay men, nonbinary/genderqueer fans, amab!trans or amab!nonbinary FANS (not fic characters; I'm talking actual people) are extremely underrepresented in this fandom? In addition to in fic? And that these fans won't have their fiction or actual posts shared all that much? Or that when they carefully speak up, e.g. about being happy to see Pedro portray Silva as a gay character, they're immediately rebuffed and called biphobic or that they're trying to erasure bisexuality?

Yeah. That part.

It's messed up.

Nobody is even making demands. Nobody is even saying "what writers are doing is wrong". They're just saying, "This is a bummer". And some of us are pointing out that mlm Pedro characters in m/m pairings are hard to come by, which is too bad because it's not only us queers who read m/m Pedro character pairings - there are lots of straight fans out there who have indicated they like reading that, too.

Are you gonna call that bi erasure? Or marginalization of women? Or anything really except for what it actually is? Fans are just saying "yknow, I wish there were more fans/fic characters/bodies in fic represented in this fandom that look and feel more like me". People seem to have finally understood that in varying degrees when this applies to body type or racial/cultural background (which took many white people a lot longer to fully grasp; BIPOC folks have been saying this for such a long time already) - it's about diversity and wanting to feel included. But when gay or transfolks say this about mlm, a whole bunch of y'all are crying bi erasure?

In short (and I can't believe I need to even fuckin' say this):

The Pedro fandom or its fic does NOT belong exclusively to women.

It does not belong to cis folks, to straight people, or any other particular group of people.

Aren't we all just trying to be a community? Then stop acting like people reading Silva or Renaldo (or any other character) as gay are erasing bisexuality - that's not the case or the damn point.

And anon-- my critique truly isn't directed at you, I'm not dragging you in any way. You took the effort to bring something to my attention, plus you clearly care about people, and I appreciate that a lot. But there are tons of people who don't dare to speak up about this in public settings, so I can't help but take this opportunity to not only clarify what I said earlier -- but also to address the bigger problem at large. Read or write all the gossip blogs you want, by all means, but maybe also consider using that time to actually connect with people.

[red-dye40]

LOOK EVERYONE BEE'S MAKING ANOTHER LONG TEXT POST!

LET'S ALL READ IT AND REALLY REALLY ABSORB EVERY LAST WORD!

Hello, it's me, Bee. I'm typing with proper capitalization to show you how serious this post is.

Recently, and especially yesterday, I've been getting increasingly upsetting and alarming engagement from fans (it feels stupid saying "fans" but also maybe my overfamiliarity is part of what's biting me in my huge ass.)

I am always of the mindset of letting people do their freak shit, never yucking anyone's yum, etc etc, but I think I have to start being a lot more explicit about where I stand on some things.

First of all, I want to specify upfront that Newfag Runs The Gauntlet is a work of fiction, and what's more, it's very explicit social commentary. You are Not supposed to root for Newf. He is purposefully Not A Good Person. That goes for pretty much everyone in NFRTG in fact; like, yes the CrowdSauce posts are funny and ridiculous, but if you find yourself reading some of the more violent and disturbing parts of those threads and being like "woah that's just like me!" then I urge you to understand that it's not a Good thing.

NFRTG isn't written to be representation for paraphiles or radqueers. I in fact do not use either of those terms to describe myself, because I personally am deeply uncomfortable with how broad and vague and muddy the definitions are, and how it invites and potentially encourages some really unsavory behavior. NFRTG is a cautionary tale first and foremost. It's a horror novel because it is SCARY how willingly all these characters agree to ruin people's lives for a laugh. It's also FUNNY because I am very funny :) and it's HOT and you can think it's HOT because I do! And definitely write parts of it to be hot and horny! That's part of the horror, too! Not knowing whether you're disturbed or disgusted or aroused! But please please please know that these characters are Not the good guys. There are really no good guys to be found. Intentionally. And that's not a Good Thing.

I'm going to take a big big BIG step back from fandom engagement for my own sake. There inevitably comes a point where creators kind of can't afford to keep up intense fan engagement and I think I'm there, so I'm gonna untrack my tags and let you all have your fun without mommy breathing down your neck. If you want me to see something, you can tag me or submit it to the site for sure! I WANT to see your art and writing and theories and all that! I LOVE it! I just don't think I need to be privy to ALL of it.

My closing remark is I am so grateful and so lucky to have gotten such a following so fast. Pretty much everyone I've interacted with has been very kind and sweet and curious, and I so admire that. What a lucky little bug I am! I want to keep feeling positively about my work and the impact it's having on others, so I urge everyone to approach NFRTG with a critical eye, understand that I am very much Pointing Out A Problem when I write characters doing or saying terrible things, understand that I very much Don't want people to kill themselves or each other, that I don't think these behaviors are just things we should turn our backs to. I was once a deeply suicidal, nihilistic, self-entitled channer who frequented gore sites and watched awful shit for fun. That was not good, and it took years of therapy for me to even START to unpack that and crawl out of that hole of self destruction. But I'm so much happier and healthier and better off now that I'm away from all that, and I will always encourage people to do the same. I really really would prefer it if people stayed alive and helped themselves and didn't harm others. That is my ask.

Thank you for your reading and I love you and I LIKE you. Please be safe and good :)