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evilminji · 4 months

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You know what would be HILARIOUS?

For everyone NOT involved in the situation?

If the Uzumaki, mad lads that they were, seal master's who routinely moon the Shinigami for funsies that they are, got SUUUUUPER drunk? And were like?

"F-! *hic!* FUCK your fancy ass Summons contract Himiko! I got one TOO, you know. A..An' it's TOTALLY better then yours! It's got BLACKJACK! And hookers!" *falls on their face unconscious*

Needless to say? Not their proudest moment. Actually, their kinda deeply embarrassed. But like FUCK ARE THE BACKING DOWN! Their mouths wrote a check their ass can't currently cash... so the only REASONABLE solution? Apologize and tell the truth? Psh! NO.

Break Reality Until It's TRUE.

THEN they weren't technically lying!

They're a GENIUS~☆! :D

And yes, yes this IS normal behavior for them. It's both cultural AND genetic. There was a REASON people were terrified of those insane mother fuckers.

Because? They just? MADE UP a A Summons Contract. With Who? Dunno! We're gonna find out! But it looks right Seals wise! *signs name before anyone with sense can stop them, does the signs, draws blood aaaand?*

POOF!

Nani THE FUCK!? Says local dead Japanese 16th century fisherman who was flying by to visit the Lair of his buddy the 14th century monk. Behold! A FUCKING ZONE GHOST! He is unsummoned before he can react.

The Uzumaki have A Ghost Contract™.

.........th....they may have fucked up.

YOU THINK?

Roars basicly the ENTIRE Elders council. Who FUCKING FELT THAT. Because EVERYONE Felt that. They're SENSOR. That was a HOLE in REALITY that somehow GLOWED like a BEACON of both absolute Nothingness and Death! You TRAUMATIZED THE KIDS, YOU ASSHOLE!

Still....they ARE ninja. And Curious mother fuckers to the last.

So basically EVERYONE and their dog signs it. They somehow get WEIRDER. Bigger Chakra reserves. Obsessive tendencies. Meh, you win some, you lose some.

But? Then they fuckin DIE. (And their WHOLE ASS VILLAGE SHOWS UP IN THE ZONE. OH GOD, WHAT-!?)

And some grave robbing fuck tries to use the Contract. SUPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!

Ghost Uzumaki!

Your literal worst nightmare!

They DO NOT try using it again. It gets sealed DEEP. Until the Hokage gets wind of it. And, of course, Danzo. The Hokage sends Hound. And Team Kakashi on a completely unrelated but nearby "help a farmer" mission. Danzo sends assassins. Because he's fucking awful.

Kakashi gets the scroll.

Yep. Creepy rambling and shit handwriting, def Uzumaki. Time to go.

He gets attacked on the way back to camp. GDI Root. Well, its you or me. Sucks for you, I guess. They fight. They get a lucky shot. He bleeds on the scroll, doesn't notice. But SURELY... SURELY it isn't CROWDED enough with names that the Uzumaki just added a "and anyone who bleeds on THIS part at the bottom _______ plus does the handsigns" towards the end.... RIGHT??

RIGHT?! Look him in the EYES Uzumaki Clan, RIGHT??!

They would prefer not to answer that. The Vibez here are getting REALLY aggressive, you know? >.> It made sense at THE TIME...

So... he goes to summon his Dogs.

And he SURE DOES GET UM.... plus One(1!!!).

Who the FUCK is this glowing green dog? A puppy? Kakashi seeing the dimwitted looking little thing about to get STABBED tries to rescue it. It takes one look look at him (worried for it), the other dogs (growling at his enemies, fighting) and... turns around, shifting as it does, to HUNDREDS of times it's previous size.

Like an Akimichi transformation.

A sudden, hulking, green WOLF with red glowing eyes and killing intent that would Rival a demon's. The howl is unearthly. It joins the fray like a meat thresher.

Then pops back to a floating, tongue lolling, dimwitted pup the second everything is done.

G...God boy?

Far be it for KAKASHI to fear a dog, no MATTER how dangerous. So he carries it back to camp. Where it seems to instant fall in LOVE with Naruto. They become the BEST of friends.

There's frolicking.

Looking down at the pocket with the scroll he reclaimed? Yeah. Yeah that tracks. According to Pakkun, the pup has a "weird, echo-y" accent and is incredibly scatter brained. Training to be a gaurd dog? WAS Training. IS currently... what.

Okay. IS currently the gaurd dog/pet of an Emperor. Because THATS not alarming. Did the Royal family all... wait... he examines the pup again. Transparent. Was it KILLING intent he felt... or a Deathy pressure? Didn't the Uzumaki have Forbidden soul and death seals? It would stand to REASON...

Oh god damn it.

Pakkun. Pakkun please tell me that pup is ALIVE.

(He can not.) (Hilariously? Dispite being TERRIFIED of Ghosts? Naruto is TOTALLY COOL with Zone Ghosts? Don't be MEAN, Sensei! They're just PEOPLE! It's not THEIR fault They're dead! Now GHOSTS? Spooky and EVIL! Totally different.)

@hdgnj @babbling-babull @hypewinter @legitimatesatanspawn @mayfay

#dpxnaruto #dp x naruto #minji's writing #green doggo au #wait wrong dog! au

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bitchfitch · 4 days

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My mother's bf had a fairly major surgery (he's fine and recovering well DW) and he's going to be housebound for his birthday this year, so I've been enlisted to come up with a fancy birthday meal for the special birthday boy that's primarily fruit and veg, sweeter than savory, and is something he's never had before.

Bc I'm making watermelington. It's beef Wellington, but watermelon. bc my mom only found out recently you can use watermelon as a tuna substitute. And I know that you can substitute most higher quality beef cuts with tuna or salmon.... usually. Anyways the idea fascinates her so I'm hoping to use that for bonus points.

Now he's off his ass on pain killers so I can't like. Ask him if he's ever had something before. so to meet my brief I've decided to just. commit a novel hate crime against the British I guess.

Anyways. I'm writing this because I need to walk myself through this process and think it'll be surreal enough to be worth taking y'all along for.

So, Beef Wellington. In its most basic bitch arrangement is a beef tenderloin wrapped in prosciutto/really thin bacon, with a layer of mushroom and onion mush, that has been further wrapped in mustard slathered puff pastry.

We will be ship of Theseusing this. bc beef Wellington is like. the opposite of what he wants. Which is why it's funny.

Puff pastry-> it's still just puff pastry

this one doesn't have to change (aka I can't be fucked to do pastry prep and I'm just gonna use store bought it's Fine.)

the prosciutto is also just going to be prosciutto.

Thin meat

Beef tenderloin-> watermelon,

Tbh this is a pretty 1 to 1 substitution. I'll bake the slices at like. 250-300 for an hour or so ahead of the rest of prep to dry it out a bit. bc you can't like. Sear watermelon to seal in the water like you can beef. By definition it's a very wet fruit (like me when I fall into the lake). Ill Add salt and chili and lime juice while baking maybe. this is the easy part

The mushroom mush-> salsa done bad style

As the word mush implies, this is meant to be a very soft mix. It adds a lot of nuttiness to the wellington that rounds out all of the salt from the meats. I'm replacing it with white person salsa(the birthday boy can't handle spice). Tomato, lime juice, parsley, avocado, cucumber, feta, and maybe mango so I can have an excuse to have a lil mango treat. I said I wasn't making it spicy. I'm still putting a bit of chili in it. bc it'll be better like that. This is also a ridiculously wet bit of mush, Even the original mushrooms have too much water. I'll figure something out.

Mustard -> jelly

He lives in a big city. those preserve sections are massive. I'll find a weird one. maybe apricot.

Prep:

We're in the mind palace kitchen, I have not attempted any of this. We're just thinking real hard about it and I'll edit as needed on the day and post results.

The watermelon

Preheat oven to eh. 300f? We want low and slow to dry things out without it taking a year. but idk what his oven is like. If it's gentle I'll bump it up another ten-twenty.

Slather some watermelon slices in salt chili powder and lime juice mixture.

bake for 30 min on a wire rack or directly on the oven racks (after cleaning thoroughly) if he doesn't have a wire rack. with a drip try underneath to catch the drippage. check frequently. Have one slice that's for being poked to see if it's approaching being meat. Bake longer if needed.

Salsa bad style

chop everything up and add it to a pan with some oil in it. Tbh I don't think the type of oil you use for cooking matters if you're not like, getting near any smoke points. Most people can't tell the difference unless you made your food bland as hell.

Anyways there's some wildly different moisture contents on the list so there has to be an Order to cook off as much water as possible without getting yucky.

Tomatoes and cucumbers go in together with some salt to get the cucs softening, then the mango chunks and lime juice. Once most of the water is gone the avocado feta and parsley can go in. There is a good amount of water in avocados but they're delicate and don't pan fry well, so we're just going to ignore their water crimes and hope for the best. They just need to be evenly mixed through the rest of the mush.

Putting it together

lay out the puff pastry, cut into sections to wrap each watermelon slice individually with.

Slather in jam

Take the prosciutto and lay it out on half of each section of the pastry,

spoon the salsa onto that

Melon

Another layer of salsa

another layer of thin meat

Fold the pastry over the top and pinch the edges bc watermelon slices are not a rollable shape and I don't want to carve a watermelon into a tube for this because that sounds irritating.

Brush with egg wash and more parsley

Cook in oven following the pastry's preferred temp and time. it's fucking watermelon, you're not getting ecoli from it.

watermelington :)

I'm serving it with baked sweet potatoes and spinach based salad with whatever toppings are left over from making the salsa.

anyways thank you for joing me on this thought experiment. I will post updates once the deed is done. I'm sorry to every British person ever.

#you can substitute tuna/salmon for beef in anything that isnt like. getting mixed.#so whole steaks and .... its basically just whole steaks. I guess substitute isnt the right word #You can fuck up a salmon or tuna cut by cooking it like beef instead of cooking it like fish

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wileycap · 7 months

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Further Excerpts From The Fire Nation Royal Palace Servants' (Unofficial) Handbook

Or: More Revisions To Normal Protocol After The Ascension Of Agni's Exalted Flame, The Dragon Of The Sun, et cetera, Fire Lord Zuko

Part 1:

7. If His Majesty offers you advice regarding martial arts, camouflage, theatre, or any other subject which he is commonly known to be well-versed in, accept it gratefully. If His Majesty offers you advice on emotional matters, listen politely and then disregard it.

7.1. If His Majesty uses the phrase "silver sandwich", you are entitled to a longer lunch break. So you can take a longer bite out of your silver sandwich.

7.1.1. Please do not vandalize the handbook, even if you think it's funny.

7.1.2. Especially if you think it's funny, Chikao.

7.2. If you share something tragic with His Majesty, and he replies "that's rough, buddy", it means he empathizes with your situation.

7.2.1 Alright, maybe he did need to learn that it's not a great way to respond to tragedy. But "rough like the boulders that crushed my father?" was a bit much.

8. Prince Iroh has advised the servants not to reveal to His Majesty what the meat in turtleduck dumplings is. Apparently, he thinks the name comes from their shape. The dumplings are not shaped like turtleducks.

8.1. Now that His Majesty knows, be ready to recite the names of all the turtleducks in the palace at a moment's notice, and also to reassure His Majesty that they are all safe, accounted for, and uneaten.

9. His Majesty should be kept apprised of any "sightings" of the Blue Spirit. The Blue Spirit is an entirely fictional creature. However, his belief in it is entirely benign (and as far as eccentricities go, we've all seen worse) and likely something he will outgrow with age.

9.1. Do not lie about any "sightings". If His Majesty is told that the Blue Spirit was sighted near his window, he will be extremely distraught for the entire day. The Fire Lord has too many real assassins to worry about already. There is no need to add imaginary ones to the mix.

9.1.1. And whenever he is distraught, his footsteps are even quieter than they normally are. It is hard enough to keep track of his movements as it is.

10. While His Majesty has approved the "Kick Ozai Retreat" for servants who were mistreated by Ozai of the Fire Nation (titles rmvd, dishon.), it will never be organized. Please suggest other activities for the Servant Wellness Day.

10.1. Yes, that is because Avatar Aang found out.

10.1.1. Specifically because of the very heartfelt and very long speech he gave on the matter. And the fear that he might give one again.

10.1.2. And no, we can not "simply tell the Avatar to shut up." He is the Avatar. And he is also a 13-year-old boy. His dragonling eyes are very effective.

11. Princess Azula is at the stage of her treatment where she will take regular trips to the palace, dividing her time between her island and here. We're all terrified, but there's nothing we can do.

11.1. Lady Beifong has offered to act as protection, should the need arise. On an unrelated note, the kitchens will now be serving a number of delicacies from the State of Gaoling.

11.2. At the specific and undeniable request of Master Toph, The Blind Bandit, her titles and styles have been updated and they will be enforced effective immediately.

12. If Avatar Aang is seen on a rooftop with no apparent purpose, that means that Fire Lord Zuko is also on that rooftop. Get him down.

12.1. If Master Katara appears to be discreetly looking for someone, that usually means that one or all of His Majesty, Avatar Aang, Master Toph, the Honorable Tribesman Sokka, or the lemur Momo are in some kind of trouble. Assist her. Before one of those idiots gets themselves killed.

12.2. Do not vandalize the handbook, even if it's true. Also, please do not call our Fire Lord, the Avatar, Master Toph, or the Avatar's beloved pet an idiot.

13. Any senior officials who wish to challenge Fire Lord Zuko to an Agni Kai should be directed to the Fourth Scribe's office. They should also be told that there is a waitlist.

13.1. If the Honorable Tribesman Sokka wishes to challenge the Fire Lord to an Agni Kai again, he should be denied. No matter what he tells you, he has not developed Firebending abilities by means of "Spirit World shenanigans" or by Avatar Aang "just giving them to him, Energybending style, like best buddies do, you know."

13.1.1. The Matron has made it known that if the Honorable Tribesman Sokka offers to demonstrate his so-called "Firebending abilities" again, servants are allowed one free kick. The last time he did it, the stench from his blubber bombs lingered for three weeks.

#avatar the last airbender #atla #zuko #prince zuko #atla spoilers #crack fic #fire nation palace servants' handbook #toph #sokka #iroh #azula #ozai #fire nation #katara

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makeyoumine69 · 3 months

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Till Death Do Us Part (Chapter Three)

PAIRING: Patrick Bateman x Innocent!Fem!Reader; [no y/n]

SUMMARY: Your curiosity led you into the lion's mouth.

CONTAINS: Arranged marriage/enemies to lovers trope, implied smut, manipulative relationships, drugging, oral sex (Patrick receiving), titjob, dirty talk, misogyny, masturbation.

WORDS: 3.6k

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, hope you enjoy the new chapter!

LINKS: [MASTERLIST]; [SERIES MASTERLIST]; [AO3].

Swallowing hard, you carefully removed his hand. "Can you tell me why you’re doing this? I know you don't want this marriage to happen either...you've been dating such beautiful women just to end up married to me? What nonsense!" Your nervous chuckle echoed through the modern kitchen of Bateman's apartment. "You know, I think we can compromise. If this marriage is going to happen, we can make it a formality—you can keep your lifestyle and sleep with whoever you want, I won't mind, I promise. But the only thing I want is for you to let me finish my internship. That's all."

You did your best to regain your composure, even though you could see Patrick's eyebrows furrowed in frustration. How would you have reacted if someone had told you ten years ago that you would become Bateman? You would probably be so damn happy, because it was no secret that you had been in love with him since the first time you saw him—a cute little boy with a beautiful smile and freckles.

Patrick clenched his hand into a fist and pulled it away from you gently so as not to frighten you. He listened to your deal and furrowed his brow. 'I'm going to sleep with whoever, no matter what the deal is,' he thought to himself', the corners of his eyes crinkling slightly with amusement. Bateman chuckled and shook his head. "There's no need for this deal...do you think so little of me that you think I need more than one woman?" He grinned and put his hand on his chest as if he was offended by your statement. "Besides, you can finish your internship even if we're married. My father always wanted a doctor..." There was a hint of sadness in his voice when he mentioned his father. "...Besides, I have a maid." He took your hand and pulled you closer. "I... think you're beautiful... Sure, you could be thinner, but that's easily fixable. Of course, marriage isn't exactly what I want right now... but who knows? Maybe it'll be fun." There was a predatory glint in his eyes. If he could just get you to fall in love with him like you did in high school, you would be putty in his hands.

'I can be thinner, sure, but you can't be a better man than you are,' You thought, but you let him pull you closer, giving him the illusion that he was in control of the situation. "You sound like you want to change me to your liking," you scoffed, looking into his hazel eyes. "Will I have to dye my hair blonde?"

It was too bad for you that you had such a good memory, as your mind replayed all the old memories of endless numbers of blonde girls hovering around Bateman like sharks around a piece of meat.

"Aren't you afraid we'll be late?" You suddenly asked with a grin, making it clear that you didn't want to continue this conversation.

"Doesn't everyone want the best for their partner?" Patrick said, his voice lower than before. "I mean... I at least want to be attracted to my wife... So I wouldn't mind if her hair had more... Striking color." He looked at your curly locs curiously. "We'll think of something." All these statements hardly registered as insults to Patrick. Just the truth. Well, some of it was. If this marriage thing was really going to happen, he could at least get something out of it. A little... object to have around the house. If he got tired of you, you'd die in a “tragic accident” and he'd get the life insurance money, being your spouse and all. All he needed was for you to step a little closer into his trap.

Bateman then looked at his watch. One hour to dinner now. He hummed and looked down at you, "I'll get ready. Wait here." He walked away, huffing quietly. It was obvious that nothing sexual would happen before dinner. Whatever. Once in his room, he closed the door—or so he thought. He sat down on his bed and pulled his boxers down, his erection popping out. He flushed as he tried to think of something to get him off. After pushing thoughts of you out of his mind, his thoughts moved to Courtney. Sure, she was married to Luis now... but he always imagined Luis dead in his fantasies. That only made her more attractive to him anyway. He imagined her tanned, aerobic legs spread for him, her pussy winking as an invitation. He smiled and wrapped his hand around his cock, moving it quickly as he bit his thumb to hide his moans.

Five minutes had passed since Patrick had left, and you were still standing in the kitchen, thinking about your recent conversation. As you were about to go into the living room and maybe read something to kill some time, you heard a muffled moan. At first you thought it was coming from the TV, but when you heard it again, your curiosity got the better of you and you decided to find the source of the moaning.

Cautiously, like a cat, you crept into the living room, only to find a small gap in the bedroom door, and although your inner voice tried to stop you, you refused to listen and continued to come closer as if hypnotized. It only took a few small steps to get closer to the door to see Bateman's naked form, his eyes closed and his cheeks flushed. As your curious gaze fell to his groin, your heart seemed to stop at the sight of his meaty, veiny cock, cut and so damn huge that your insides tightened at the sight.

"Oh...my...God…" You whispered uncontrollably before recoiling as if from the fire.

Embarrassed, you felt a searing heat coursing through your body, frightening you so much that instead of just returning to the living room, you ran to the bathroom and locked the door. Then you opened the sink to muffle your desperate gasping. 'Why? Why is this happening? Why did I want to wrap my hands around his dick? Why did I want... to taste it? Fuck, I bet it tastes amazing...'

"STOP!" You yelled at yourself, grabbing the surface of the bathroom counter. 'How am I supposed to behave around him after what I've seen? You cursed, trying to calm yourself.'

Patrick groaned and tilted his head back, gripping the sheets as he quickened his hand movements. The silence in the room was broken by a soft noise. His eyes flew open and he looked at the door to see a figure flashing away from it. "Hey!" he roared, instantly enraged. Before Bateman could do anything he would regret, he pulled his boxers back up and opened his desk drawer. He took out his prescriptions and popped a pill into his mouth, letting it calm him down and quell his emotions.

The man sighed and got up, walking out of the bedroom. He looked around and saw that the bathroom door was closed and went straight to it. He calmly knocked on the door. "Becca." Patrick called, his voice stern and demanding, but still with a hint of comfort. "Come out. You're not in trouble." He huffed and put a hand on the door frame, waiting for you to meet him.

‘Oh my fucking God, he caught me looking at him! What am I going to say? Uhhh, I'm sorry, I thought you were in pain, so I came over and saw you jerking off. FUCK!’

With a deep breath you closed the tap and after a quick look at your reflection you fixed your hair and went to the door to open it. But at the last moment you stopped, feeling your heart pounding so fast because you were sure Bateman was standing right behind the door.

"Can you...can you get away from the door, please? I'll come out." You didn't want your voice to sound demanding, but what was done was done.

Patrick rolled his eyes and took a step back from the door, crossing his arms over his pecs. He tapped his foot on the floor as he waited for you to come out. The man wasn't sure what he would do when you came out. Probably try to persuade you ... tell you that if you wanted to watch him so badly, you could get a better look before you left for dinner.

When you left the bathroom, the first thing you noticed was that Bateman was still wearing only his white boxers, which made you visually nervous.

"Mmmhhm, if you're still not ready to go out, maybe you don't really want to have this dinner?" You asked shyly, closing the bathroom door. "Maybe... you have other plans?"

Wait, what? Why the hell did you ask that?

Abashed, you averted your eyes from his, finding it hard to look into them—a blazing embarrassment burning you from the inside out. 'Don't look...don't look...oh shit, he's still so hard.'

Patrick laughed and shook his head. "No, we can't miss this dinner. My friend wants to meet you." The man said and adjusted the hem of his boxers. He was still extremely hard, which made it uncomfortable to stand. "You know, I just wanted to take care of my... problem by myself, which wouldn't take long." He put his hand back on the doorframe and leaned over you. "But since you want to watch so badly... you can help." He winked. "If you want."

Bateman ran his hand down your arm before moving it to your waist. "It won't take long... besides, I can tell you want to. Why be so reluctant?" He grinned. "I think it'll be an excellent way for us to relieve stress."

Trembling, you gasped at his touch and now you were beginning to regret not wearing a bra as your nipples were clearly visible through the thin fabric of your dress.

You closed your eyes for a second to process his suggestion. "You want me to... you want me to watch you masturbate? Is that what you want?"

'I can't believe we're actually talking about this.' Oh, how many times did you spend the nights touching yourself and thinking about Patrick, but that Patrick was just your perfect illusion, because now you were standing in front of the real Bateman, selfish and arrogant and totally sexy and hot. Dear God…

Patrick laughed. "God, you really are a virgin." He looked down and saw your nipples protruding conspicuously from the dress. That was enough motivation for him to keep going. The man snaked his hand up your back and pulled you closer, pressing his erection against your leg. Then Bateman pressed his fingers against your hip, using all his strength not to rip the dress off you right away. "I want you to go to... our bedroom, take off the dress and wait for me." He whispered, keeping his eyes on you. "I know you have fantasized about this before, Rebecca. You want my fat cock inside you, don't you?"

Even though it had been almost ten days since you had tried to get used to living with Patrick in his apartment, but all that time you hadn't even slept in the same bed, although it was stupid to deny that you didn't look at his perfect body whenever you had the chance.

"I... I can try to help you, but I'm not ready for such radical things as having sex with you," you said, your whole body shaking, but you didn't try to remove his hands. "You said it wouldn't take long...so maybe we can finish this right here?"

Maybe it could mean that you accepted your fate, but when you got on your knees in front of him, it didn't feel strange or disgusting, it felt so fucking wrong, but at the same time so fucking right.

Patrick watched you with hungry eyes, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. He didn't want it to be just a blow job... but he'd take what he could get. Maybe he'd let you sleep in the same bed with him tonight. Well.. "Sleep" - he'd see how long you actually slept. Bateman moved his hand to the top of your head as you dropped to your knees. He smiled and pulled his boxers down, letting his erection pop out and hit your cheek. Pre-cum oozed from the tip from his earlier masturbation session. "Good. Let's see what you can do." Patrick murmured and ran his hand through your hair. He knew he'd probably have to do most of the work, you being a virgin and all, but he'd let you take control for a while, show him how you could work your magic.

Totally embarrassed, you didn't even know how to react when Bateman's thick cock almost slapped your cheek—you had never felt more vulnerable and humiliated in your life. And even though this was not your first blowjob, the only boyfriend you had was much smaller, so the huge size difference turned out to be much scarier than you thought.

Closing your eyes, you wrapped your tiny hand around the base of his beefy dick, which twitched in response. "Why... Why are you so big?" You asked naively before giving his swollen tip a few kitten licks.

‘Oh God, if Patrick ever found out about my ex-boyfriend and that we failed to have sex several times because he wasn't that big, Bateman would laugh at me and mock me for the rest of my life.’

Patrick watched, leaning over you and resting his arm against the wall. He watched you work, his face expressionless as you worked slowly. He started to get impatient, but held himself back. "Uh- genetics?" The man smiled condescendingly. "Have you never seen a real man's cock? I mean, I know you're a virgin, but I know you had a boyfriend in high school... some nobody from the suburbs." He chuckled before tugging gently on your hair. "Why don't you open your mouth wide for me?" Bateman crooned softly.

As for the current options, you chose to open your mouth as he asked, rather than tell him about your failures in your sex life. The moment Bateman pushed himself deeper into your mouth, you immediately grabbed his hips, trying to keep control of the situation.

"Mhmmm," you murmured around his throbbing dick, hoping it would all be over soon. Thank God Patrick gave you a short breather. "It... it won't fit, Patrick."

Ashamed, you fidgeted nervously on the floor, not wanting him to know that you were so wet between your legs.

Patrick moaned and tilted his head back, enjoying the warmth of your mouth. He rocked his hips slightly, his head nuzzling the inside of your cheek. He looked down and pulled out of your mouth, listening to you speak. "Oh, it'll fit..." He grinned before moving both hands to your hair. Bateman gripped tightly, then thrust his cock into your mouth, moaning deeply. With a shaky breath he stopped himself from making you deepthroat him. Gradually, the man rocked his hips faster, carefully pulling in and out of your mouth. "Mm, fuck... perfect fit..." He growled under his breath.

You did your best to breathe through your nose, though your eyes were already watering from lack of oxygen. It was humiliating and even painful, the way his cockhead brushed against your soft palate was almost brutal.

'Fuck, what am I doing? What will my family think of me when they find out what a slut I have become?' You could only whimper helplessly, hoping that Bateman would soon reach his climax and let you go, but... what if he decided to cum in your mouth? You leaned on his hips, then one of your hands rested on his perfect abs, signaling him to slow down a bit.

Patrick closed his eyes as he worked his hips back and forth, chasing his own pleasure at a slow pace. He let out a throaty moan and opened his eyes when he felt you tap him. He slowed his thrusts but continued, his eyebrows furrowed. No way you were tapping out already. Bateman sighed and pulled out of your mouth completely, looking down at you with a scornful look. "I think jerking off would go a lot faster." The man said bitterly, keeping his hands in your hair. He moved one to wipe the drool from your lip, tilting his head in thought. He knew that if he got too rough with you now, you'd probably never trust him with sex again... and it would be a pain in the ass to have to wrestle you down like an irate chihuahua every time he had a hard-on. He could just hire prostitutes, but that adds up fast.

Bateman's mocking comment about your lack of experience really offended you because you were trying your best to help him with his "hard" problem.

"Hey, I'm trying, okay?" you suddenly blurted out in an angry tone. "It's not my fault that you're so... huge," you gasped several times, finally able to breathe properly. But Patrick's burning eyes still looked at you deceptively. "Uh, I don't know... how about this?" you knew that it would be so risky, since you could easily get dirty, but you didn't know what else you could do in such a situation. Slowly you pulled down the top of your dress, revealing your heavy tits. Without realizing what you were doing, you squeezed them together and looked up at Patrick, his dick twitching at the sight of your breasts. "Do you...like it?"

Patrick sniffed. 'Could have fooled me,' he thought to himself with an amused grin that only deepened when you called him 'huge'. His eyes widened and his lips pursed as Bateman watched you pull down your dress. He really wasn't expecting it. His eyes froze on your breasts, his cock twitching at the sight. Biting the inside of his cheek, he nodded. "Yeah... did you have plastic surgery or something?" He asked, gently running his hand through your hair. He wanted to fuck your tits. The thought made his cock twitch again. "How about you lying down on the couch? I have an idea... you don't have to do anything. You won't lose your virginity either." Bateman grinned cheekily.

Your face was tense with panic as you tried not to think about what was happening. "No, I didn't have surgery," you replied, slowly standing up and covering your breasts. "They're natural."

Smiling shyly, you said it with a hint of pride, but then your expression tensed as Bateman looked at you, eating you alive with his brown eyes. Then you took a moment to consider whether it was right to follow his order, but did you really have a choice, since it was your idea to start all this madness? Leisurely, you moved past Patrick to his white slutty couch to lie down on it, your dress slipping down more and more as you couldn't hold it in place.

"What... what are you going to do to me?" You asked as you lay on the soft furniture, listening to the man's steady footsteps.

Patrick watched you make your way to the couch and made sure you obeyed him before he went into the bathroom. He fixed his hair in the mirror before opening his medicine cabinet and taking out the spermicidal lubricant. He put some on his hand and smeared it on, his cock twitching in his grasp. The man hummed and walked back into the living room.

Smugly, Bateman looked over at you, his eyes roaming hungrily over your body. "Trust me, you'll like it." He smiled and stood beside you, towering over you as he stroked your head. After that, Patrick moved to carefully straddle your belly, hovering over you instead of sitting on you. With an obsessive determination, he gripped your tits tightly, rubbing his palms against your sensitive nipples before slowly thrusting his cock between them.

The moment his hot flesh slid between your heavy breasts, you literally stopped breathing. It was so obscene, so sinful, so...delightful? Your ex-boyfriend had never done this to you before, so you didn't even know how to react.

"It's so warm," you whimpered, not daring to look down. "I can feel it pulsating..."

Your hands roamed chaotically over the plush surface of the couch as you were trapped under Bateman's massive body like a little bunny cornered by the Big Bad Wolf, doing your best to stifle any provocative sounds that would reveal your arousal.

Patrick nodded, biting his lower lip. "Yeah..." He groaned and thrust faster, enjoying the feel of his cock between your soft breasts. His veiny cock twitched and he felt his balls tighten, signaling that he was getting closer. Frowning, the man growled and gripped you tighter, thrusting faster. The head of his cock brushed against your lower lip as he moved.

"Ohh... yeah... I know you like this..." He moaned, moving at a slightly gentler pace. Patrick grinned over you, his slicked back hair losing some of its shape so that strands fell in front of his eyes.

You could feel his movements becoming more erratic and jerky - the obvious evidence of his impending orgasm. "Patrick," you called his name in a feeble attempt to get his attention. "Please...don't...come around my breasts, please!"

You were simply not ready, and you were afraid that Bateman would stain the dress he bought you and blame you for it. 'What if I suggest he finish in my mouth? Oh, fuck, he'll drown me in his cum.'

P.S. Thank you for reading until the end! I don’t have a taglist. You can follow my side blog @makeyoumineagain and turn on notifications to know when I update!

#american psycho #patrick bateman x reader #patrick bateman imagine #patrick bateman #patrick bateman x female reader #patrick bateman x you #slasher x reader #slashers x reader #slasher x you #slasher smut #patrick bateman smut #patrick bateman headcanon #christian bale smut #christian bale x reader #patrick bateman reader #christian bale #patrick bateman imagines

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elancholia · 3 months

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In Early Modern China's nearest attempt at writing a Rick and Morty episode, the lads visit an all-female kingdom and get boypreggers by guzzling from the wrong stream. Luckily,

I see we're leaving nothing to chance here.

Pilgrim Sun suggests that the births, if unaverted, will take place via a painful tearing-open of the armpit, of all places. Journey to the West Research compares the chapter to an episode from the Mahabharata (in which a king mistakenly drinks holy water intended to give his wife a son) and the choice of birth canal to stories of the legendary sages tearing open their mothers on the way out. Compare and contrast.

Oddly, it's sort of unclear why Western Liang is like this. It doesn't seem like a matter of policy, they're not Amazons and they're practically exhilarated to lay eyes upon our boys. Yes, it's a "male-undoing mountain", but there's no other indication that either the stream itself or the women are sex-selective.

As far as I can tell, this place exists so that Tripitaka can refuse to have sex with the most desperate queen alive — certainly a betrayal of his cicada namesake, but a chance to demonstrate his extreme commitment to virtuous celibacy and family-renunciation while playing his general meekness for laughs.

All that notwithstanding, I think the kingdom and its inhabitants are treated with remarkable respect. Yes, yes, they're desperate for the yang, clearly, but it's also a normal, functioning kingdom of impressive wealth. It has women officials who fulfill all the usual functions of a Sinosphere state, and their capacity to do so is not really commented upon or made ridiculous, at least not in any way that's legible to me. It's just that their entire society temporarily reorganizes itself around getting their superlatively beautiful queen into bed with a shy, celibate monk who needs and wants nothing more than to have his passport* stamped. They want him to stay, marry, and be king. He is defined by compulsive journeying and rejection of his role as paterfamilias. Classic comedy. Compared to the Amazon mythos or Lysistrata, the whole thing actually comes across as less pathological.

*Really, it's a travel rescript — a letter presented to the local government and signed to guarantee safe passage. Securing the travel rescript is a convenient device to force the characters to interact with the weird politics of the kingdoms they pass through.

Note also that abortion is presented as an uncomplicated and uncontroversial good, but that's probably the non-Abrahamic default.

Obvious commentary on the ongoing FDA abortifacient controversy.

Fruit baskets!

Always the bloody Daoists

Fruit baskets

After their plan to get the passport signed and leave the bride at the altar flubs, Tripitaka is promptly and perhaps serendipitous kidnapped by an unrelated scorpion, but his commitment to semen retention is, once again, simply too powerful, though she tempts him with remarkable persistence and buns filled with human meat. (She ties him up at one point; I'm sure there's fanfic of these two.) Ms. Scorpion does, however, accomplish the nigh-unprecedented feat of landing blows on both Sun Wukong and Zhu Bajie in a fair fight, #feminism, before being destroyed by the Chinese equivalent of the constellation Orion (here appearing as a very large chicken).

I'm not sure what we learned from this one and I certainly don't have anything intelligent to add, but damned if it isn't funny.

#we're back with more cutting-edge analysis of #journey to the west #about fiction

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mae-gi-writes · 5 months

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Finders Keepers | Gally [TMR] - Part 4

In which Gally gets soft for one of the boys in the Glade, only…is it a boy? alternatively; In which Mai disguises herself into a boy to fit in the Glade, only to be suspected by the keen eyes of the Builder's Keeper.

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-----

Don't look at him.

Gally stares straight ahead, not realizing that he's glowering at the wall where Frypan's apron is currently hanging. It's been three days and he's still not over his crazy theories because somehow his brain doesn't want to shut up.

He's tired, he lacks sleep and he merely wants to take a fat nap despite the risk of missing dinner tonight.

His fork, currently stabbed into a piece of meat from his curry bowl, is left unattended as he keeps on scowling at the apron like it's done something to him, and would've probably continued doing so if not for Alby's hand falling onto his shoulder.

"Gally."

That's when the said young man looks up at his leader, blinking and replying a gruff, "yeah?"

"You alright shank? You've been glaring at this wall for ages," the Leader motions towards Frypan's apron, "Fry did something to piss you off?"

"No," Gally resumes eating with a little too much vigor as Alby takes a seat across from him, "I was going to tell you that we're doing Bonfire night tonight."

"Why?" Gally says through a mouthful of food.

"Because we missed Mai's Bonfire night and I think everyone needs a break."

"Count me out then," Gally finishes up his bowl before he pushes it away, and when his leader's gaze turns stern, adds, "what?"

Alby leans forward just enough for the Builder to catch his eye,"You're a Keeper. How's it gonna look like to your Builders if you don't turn up?"

Gally's own blue eyes narrow, "I'm tired Alby. Just do it without me."

"We can't. We need you, and plus," a smile flickers across Alby's face, "who's gonna beat Mai up?"

Gally snorts at that, "the Greenie'll probably wet himself before he even gets to the circle."

"Is that a yes then?" Alby bumps his shoulder, "c'mon shank. Let's have some fun."

And that's how Gally finds himself mixing up his booze for Bonfire night, grumbling under his breath as everyone around him bustles with excitement. Stacks of wood are piled up high and Frypan's going all out in the kitchen, cooking up a feast for the occasion. Others are chattering his ears off and Gally wishes he can dump everything down the drain and find his hammock.

It is then that a particular blonde, second-in-command, sidles up to him, "ey Gal, you alright?"

"Fine as a ray of sunshine," Gally grumbles out, still not out of his hole of impending doom as he realizes what a mistake this is.

"Come and sit with us when you're done," Newt motions towards the table at the far back where Minho is knocking back a few drinks with some other Runners, "you look like you need a drink."

Gally has to agree with that.

He does need a drink.

As Alby lights up the bonfire and the flames bursts out like a million fireflies, the chatter of Gladers increase tenfold, the night slowly giving way to a much lighter atmosphere filled with hope and fun, an escape from the doom that usually fills their days. It's a different image from their routine and it's like a breath of fresh air, something that they need just so that they can hold on a little longer.

Finally done and ready to hit the sack, Gally decides to stride over to where Newt and Minho are currently discussing matters in hushed voices. He storms up to them, drops his body onto a nearby chair and takes a swig of his drink, relishing in the familiar burn down his throat.

The rest of the Builders are sitting at another table, laughter and boisterous chatter reaching his ears and making him want to walk away. It's in moments like these that Gally wishes he could be alone.

He hates noise, hates it so much more when it's useless.

And that's when the Greenie decides to plop in the seat right opposite him with a beam, "hey Gally!" the slur is evident in Mai's voice, causing the latter's eyebrow to rise up in curiosity.

He tilts his head towards Newt, eyes narrowed in suspicion when he glances over to Minho, "that shank's been drinking?"

"Mai wanted to know what your secret recipe was," Newt shrugs in response, seemingly undisturbed by the fact that this Greenie is literally swaying in front of Gally's face, "I think he likes it."

"That's an understatement," the Builder mutters. He spots Mai trying to swig another mouthful from his cup and quickly snatches it out of his hand before anymore damage is done, "that's enough for you," he snaps more sternly than intended.

Mai pouts, "but it's Bonfire night. Alby said anything can happen on Bonfire night."

"Yeah and if you keep drinking that clunk, terrible things will happen to you, slinthead. So slim it," Gally proceeds to toss the rest of it into his own cup, much to Mai's displeasure.

He makes a noise of protest from the back of his throat, "you're so rude, Gally. I was just trying to have fun!" his hands wave in the air in a dramatic manner, causing Newt and Minho to chuckle at the scene.

"Yeah I think you're right," Newt says, "the Greenie's a goner."

"He's a shucking lightweight, that's what he is," adds Minho.

Nevertheless, Mai is still challenged to a fight in the ring circle, and when Gally adamantly refused to fight a drunkard, is replaced by none other than another one of the Builders who seems all too keen to beat the newbie. A cut lip and a couple of bruises later find Mai sprawled out just outside of the circle, prompting hollers and exclamations of success, some sniggering as they leave Mai on the floor for Newt and Minho to pick up.

Gally's about to turn in for the night -- god knows he really does need that sleep and his hammock is looking tempting right at this particular moment -- when Newt dumps the Greenie beside him, cut lip and all.

"Gal, keep an eye on him for a minute will ya?" Newt says, and before Gally can say anything else, disappears into the crowd.

"Great," Gally mutters as another sigh falls from his lips. He doesn't have a choice but to gaze at Mai, whose face seems to be blossoming with new blue and purple decorative bruises every minute. "you look like shit."

"Gee thanks Gally, that's very kind of you," comes Mai's shaky inhale. Gally watches as the young Glader winces when he touches his face, "everything hurts," he whimpers like a kicked puppy and the Builder can't help but roll his eyes. Pathetic.

Finding a spare napkin that someone had left on the table, Gally holds it out to the Greenie, "here," he says gruffly, and when Mai doesn't respond, proceeds to press it into his palm.

"Thank you," Mai hiccups as he starts to wipe the blood of his face, "thank you very much...Gally."

The glader merely grunts in response. He's not quite sure how to respond to the rush of gratefulness in Mai's voice. He's not used to it, to people saying thank you and looking at him with anything other than disgust or fear.

Mai is different and he senses it. He's just not sure in what sense of the word.

Maybe because he's not what he seems--

Oh stop it, he says to himself. He should not be worrying about someone else's affairs when he has enough on his mind as it is.

So despite his reluctance to leave the Greenie alone with Minho and the rest of the Runners, Gally takes it upon himself to walk away to find the comfort of his hut, telling himself that the Greenie doesn't need him and in any case it's not his problem if ever something happens. He's not his babysitter after all, is he?

He tries not to think too hard about that.

----

The morning has started off on a wrong foot.

First off, Mai had woken up only to find a dark spot along the side of her inner thigh, a sign that her monthly duties are up. She'd scrambled around in a panicked heap as she tugged fresh clothes from her small rucksack hanging from her hammock before making a dash for the shower stalls, thanking god that it was still early morning and the sun hadn't risen yet.

She thought that would be the end of it -- setting a white protective cloth over her underwear and changing out of her dirty clothes -- but what she hadn't been expecting was the pain. It seared through her abdomen, squeezing her lower stomach as she made her way back to Homestead and Mai had no choice but to curl over, breathing loudly through her mouth as pain seized her body.

Great, and with those monthly duties came the consequences. As if she had time to deal with those in a camp full of boys that were not even aware of what she was exactly.

She was mentally kicking herself for not having divulged the truth in the first place when she's suddenly met with a familiar-looking asian.

"Hey Mai," Minho leans down to frown at her contorted face, "are you okay? You look like shit."

Despite herself, Mai forces a shaky smile onto her lips, "yeah, I'm fine. Just hungover."

"Ah, that would be Gally's doing," Minho grins as he falls into step beside her, "you can tell him off at Breakfast."

"Do I look like have a death wish, Minho?"

The latter lets out a bark of laughter, "yeah you're right. Not a wise idea."

Still, Mai has no choice but to feign that she's not that bad, trying her best not to curl over her stomach whenever a cramp would suddenly pulse through her abdomen. Her pelvis was aching and her spine felt so sensitive that every turn and motion had her wince in pain. Frypan took notice around mid-morning before asking her if she was alright, to which Mai reassured him that she was. But not wanting to have her in the kitchen and engulfed by flames for a second longer, the Cook then decides to send her out to the Builders to give them food instead.

"Are you sure Frypa--" he shoos her away with a wave of his hand, "I'll be fine, just go give them their lunch, would ya? These shanks are probably starving."

So Mai does as she's told even if every step makes her want to scream.

She'll need to change at some point in the day, but she's not quite sure how to do that without raising suspicion.

Reaching the Builder's area is like stepping through a different dimension. They're all big and huge and look like they could pack a punch, and Mai swears she feels all eyes on her the moment she steps around the half-built pieces of furniture. Quickening her pace, she finds the table where all plans and drawings are laid out before placing down the sandwich bag onto its surface.

Her brow is filled with sweat and she swears she might collapse, but then spots Gally and a few other Builders making their way towards her, and straightens up, "hey Gally," she says meekly, trying not to think of the embarrassment she'd made of herself last night because of his concoction.

"Greenie," he nods at her, eyes moving to the bag in question.

"Ah, Frypan told me to come give you guys lunch because you have a busy day today," she explains as she unwraps the bag. Handing out the sandwiches to each Builder that give her muttered thank you's, she leans down to get the last sandwich, her figure trembling with effort.

That doesn't go unnoticed by Gally, whose frown deepens tenfold, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," she's quick to dispel his doubts as he takes the sandwich from her hands, quickly grabbing the empty basket and turning around to get away as soon as possible.

Her vision darkens and for a moment she sees stars.

Mai sways, stumbling against the side of a tree and causing all Gladers to react.

"Hey!" Gally's first to grab her, yanking her up and against him, "shuck. I'm bringing him to the Med-Jacks," she hears him say to the other Builders before she's suddenly scooped up into a pair of strong arms and brought to a chest so warm that she almost nuzzles into it. Gally's scent wraps around her like a blanket as he brings her to the Med-Jacks hut. He smells of pine and something like grass after it has rained, an earthy smell mixed in with the scent of boy that he carries around with him and if she closes her eyes, she's sure she can fall asleep to it, burrowed in its comfort.

She's not quite certain of her whereabouts until she hears Gally speak again, his voice rumbling through his chest and resonating through her, "Greenie collapsed a few minutes ago," he seems to be explaining her situation and a second later, Mai is deposited onto one of the beds before a hand is laid across her forehead.

"He's got a fever," another voice says, "we gotta strip him."

But when a sudden pair of hands clasp onto the edge of her shirt, Mai's eyes fly open in realization. She squeaks out a loud, "no!" causing all Gladers to fall back in surprise.

"Y--You can't--" Mai grips her shirt so tightly that her knuckles turn white, "no, no, please--"

Gally's the one that speaks up first, "You're burning up Greenie, we gotta take it off and let you cool down."

Still, she fights off any hands that come close to her, clasping both arms around her middle and curling up her legs in defense, "no," she gasps out, "you can't."

She spots the two Med-Jacks exchanging glances, but Gally is getting impatient, for he snaps out, "stop being a crybaby and let them do their job. We haven't got all day--"

"Please," her eyes land on his own and he curses at the way they're begging him, pleading. Mai's voice drops to a whisper, "please don't."

"Alright Greenie, no need to get antsy. We won't do anything," one of the Med-Jacks speaks gently, pressing a reassuring hand onto her shoulder so that she has no choice but to lie back down, "but we're gonna keep you in this room for a little while, 'cause we gotta monitor your condition. Sound good?"

Mai only nods in relief, and the Med-Jack responds with a smile, "good that, Greenie."

"Stupid, stubborn shank," Gally mutters under his breath. Mai's about to open her mouth to thank him, but he's already whirling around and walking out before she can even try to formulate a sentence. She sighs out in exasperation and closes her eyes. Gally is so complicated in all senses of the word, she just doesn't understand where his temperament comes from sometimes. What she's pretty certain of though, is that for one reason or another, he's mad at her. It's clear from the way he's stormed off and in any other situation Mai would've just brushed it aside without caring. But somehow, she can't.

Maybe it's the fact that despite all this aggressive exterior he's been the extra helping hand she needed throughout those few days, which makes Mai guilty of the fact that she hadn't been able to even thank him for being there when he's got loads of other stuff to do around the Glade. She makes a mental note to find him later.

In the end, Jeff and Clint -- the two Med-Jacks-- allow her to have a bit of a shut-eye until she feels better, attributing her symptoms to that of a common cold. By sundown, Mai has gathered enough energy to stumble out and towards the Homestead, just in time to bump into a sweaty Minho along the way.

"You still look like death," he comments, causing Mai to scowl. He extends a hand towards her, "need some help?"

"I'm--" Mai's brain stutters. No, actually. She's not fine, and so quickly replies with, "actually, yeah. Please."

And so this is how she finds herself being supported by the Runner as they make it back to the Homestead just in time for the Dinner bell. After forcing her down onto one of the seats so that she can at least regain some of her strength with Frypan's food, they are soon joined by Newt and the Track-Hoe Keeper Zart, who quickly usher her off to her hammock while stating that they'll take care of her utensils, all while brushing away her thanks.

Mai's heart can't help but swell with gratitude at how eager they all seem to be in helping her, and struggles back to her Hammock where she all but collapses into it. Her breathing is shaky and unsteady and she places a hand over her heart, feeling it vibrating right through her chest.

Maybe she just needs to sleep a little bit more. She knows she's gotta shower -- with her period, it's even more complicated -- but that'll have to wait. She resigns herself to sleep, rolling to the side before closing her eyes.

"Hey Greenie."

Her eyes fly open. She almost jumps up, spotting a disgruntled Gally standing beside her hammock, a towel slung around his neck and -- did she ever notice how handsome he is with just that mere towel?

She clears her throat, swallows thickly, "hey Gally."

He shuffles a bit in place, looking uncomfortable. Silence prevails and Mai blinks at him. It's not in his nature to be so quiet, "is there anything I can help you with?" she asks instead.

Finally, he grovels out, "I'm gonna shower."

"Oh," she blinks once more, "uh--okay."

"You need to shower."

"I--" flames of heat burst through her face, "yes, I do."

He sighs and frowns at her, "Are you coming or are you gonna ask one of these other shanks to stand guard for you like a shuckin' idiot?"

"Oh, right." Realization dawns on her, "you're right, uhm--" but the young man's already storming off at this point. Mai scrambles for her set of fresh clothes and a new cloth pad before dashing to him, almost tripping over her own feet as she does so, "wait, I'm coming!"

He didn't have to, but he did ask. And that's enough to make Mai grin at his broad back. Gally can act all tough and intimidating, but there's no way there's only just that. No, he's hiding behind this cold and menacing exterior for other reasons. But it's good enough to know that deep inside somewhere in the crevices of his heart, he cares in his own way.

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midmourn · 11 months

Text

traitor

title traitor

pairing lee jeno x gender neutral!reader

summary you know what jeno is doing behind your back, but you kept quiet anyways so you could keep him. guess it didn't really matter in the end, because he still betrayed you.

warnings angst, mentions of cheating, jeno's like an asshole but he believes he's not, brief mentions of loved one dying

word count 1,450

author's note sorry jeno ... and the rest of dream when i make theirs. please give me feedback, it encourages me to continue writing !! reposting from my old blog.

"Stop staring," Haechan murmured over your shoulder, making you sigh as you stabbed your fork into your meat. "They'll notice."

"And he'll, what? Come to confront me?" You snort, rolling your eyes as you tear your gaze away from the happy couple. "Like hell. I wish." You bring a piece of meat up to your mouth and angrily chew, "I just don't understand! It's been two weeks since we broke up, and he's already dating someone else?" Haechan stayed quiet as he played with his food, knowing it'd be best just to let you get your feelings out. "How the hell do you fall in love with someone else in two weeks?! It's just not possible."

"You know," he said quietly, and that was all he had to say to make you go quiet.

Yes. You knew.

You don't know how they met, Jeno would never tell you. All you knew was that just one day, she showed up in his life and he was completely enamored by her. You weren't a fool, you could tell by the way he said her name and the way his eyes shined whenever she somehow showed up at the same place you two were at.

"So you're going to hang out with her?" You ask, eyebrows raised at the dark-haired boy in front of you. He slowly swallowed his food and nodded, not offering more than that. But you had to dig more into it. You needed more information. "Just her?"

"Other people will be there, too," he said dismissively, but you weren't done.

"Anyone I know?" You hummed, tilting your head as you took a sip of your drink. You feigned calmness, but you and him both knew that the anger was boiling in your veins, waiting. And waiting.

"Maybe," Jeno sighed, setting down his fork. "But it's totally cool, right? 'Cause her and I are just friends." Friends ... That's what they all say, Jeno. Does he truly think you’re stupid?

You stared at him unnervingly, before saying, "Right." If that's what you want me to believe, you remarked in your head.

"He'll never know," you murmured out of nowhere to Haechan. He tilted his head at you, so you continued. "He thinks he didn’t do anything wrong by not cheating on me, but does it really count when he was still talking to her during our relationship?"

Haechan didn't respond.

"Are you serious?" You shouted, a laugh escaping your lips after. You run your hands down your shirt, shaking your head as you gritted your teeth. Jeno stood a bit before you, eyes down on the floor. "You're really ditching our date to go comfort her?"

"She's upset, Y/N," he said quietly. "And we're friends."

"The stupid bitch doesn't have any other friends than you?" You questioned loudly. "Seriously? She has to take my boyfriend away from me on our date night? Jeno, I've barely seen you all week because of her!"

"Don't be paranoid," Jeno's jaw clenched. "Nothing is happening between us, I promise."

You stayed silent for a moment before saying, "I didn't say there was."

Jeno's head lifted up from the floor to stare at you silently.

The silence was air constricting, but you didn't say anything and merely turned away to walk out of his apartment. Just like you thought, he didn't stop you.

The first time you cried over Jeno was right after the break-up before it turned into seething anger. It was the worst pain you had ever felt in your life, especially because you knew it was for her. And it was because of you, not because of him like he said. 'It's not you, it's me,' were the exact words he said. The cliche words everyone said while breaking up. You couldn't even believe he had the audacity to say it to your face.

The second time you cried over Jeno was now.

"Oh, God," Haechan sighed, wrapping his arm around you and trying to steer you away from the drinks, "Let's go."

"What?" You frowned, digging your heels into the ground as you tried to continue filling your drink up, "Why? Let me finish my drink, Haechan."

"Y/N," he whined like a child before looking over your shoulder and hurriedly saying, "Jeno and his girlfriend are coming over here! Let's—"

"Hey." You tensed slowly, eyes slowly moving up to look in front of you despite the two being on your right side. He couldn't have waited until you had left? Who the hell did he think he was? You clicked your tongue before stepping back and turning to face them, Haechan being dragged with you since his arm was still around your shoulder.

Jeno had a sweet smile on his face, but you knew how he really was. And what he really was here for. His arm was wrapped around her waist, you still had no idea what her name was. Or maybe you did and just blocked it out of your memory. You probably did. The girl seemed clueless of the situation, but maybe she was just a really good actress. So were you.

"Hi," you said slowly, raising an eyebrow. "Sorry, we'll get out of your way. We're finished, anyway." At your words, Haechan turned the two of you around to walk away and join your other friends at the other side of the party, but Jeno spoke up again.

"No, no, it's cool," he chuckled slightly and you gritted your teeth, eyes roaming around. "I also wanted to talk to you, since— you know, we haven't really spoke and you blocked me on everything so—"

"Then maybe you should get the hint," Haechan sighed, turning around without you to face Jeno. "Like, seriously? They blocked you on everything and you're still here trying to talk to them?"

"I just—"

"It doesn't matter what you wanted," you huffed, turning around and glaring at him. The girl looked between the three of you like it was a tennis ball match. "I don't want to talk to you, that's why I blocked you, Lee Jeno."

"Y/N," he chuckled uneasily, shifting on his feet and his arm fell from around the girl's waist. "We—"

"I don't care," you shrugged, taking a sip of your drink, "We broke up, you're in the past, so let's leave it at that, alright?" You sent them both a sweet smile before tugging on Haechan's arm to follow you to the opposite side of the party. You didn't stop walking until you knew they could no longer see you.

"Wow," Haechan whispered in amazement, "That was so cool of you, Y/N Y/L/N!" He looked over his shoulder to see if he could see them before turning back to you. "You're seriously such a good actor, I—" He paused, blinking at you. Your head was down, staring at the ground and he blinked again. "Y/N? Are you okay?”

"No," you whispered, inhaling and exhaling. "No, I'm not okay."

Haechan didn't wait before taking your drink and setting it on the ground before pulling you into a hug, his head resting on your shoulder. His hug was warm and comforting, full of love but it still didn't help the Jeno shaped hole in your heart. Your hands clutched at the shirt of his back, shuddering breaths leaving your body and tears slipping down your face.

"I hate him," you gasped between breaths, squeezing your eyes shut as the tears continued to fall. Your heart painfully clenched in your chest and all you wanted to do was reach into your chest and tear out your heart. You wished it was possible. "I hate him! How could he do this to me? After— after everything? I loved him when he was a fucking asshole to everyone! I defended him and helped him when he couldn't even—" You stopped talking, resting your head on Haechan's body. "I wish we never met."

Haechan didn't say anything, simply squeezed his arms around your waist and let you cry your heart out. It was for the best, as always, to let you speak your thoughts and let you cry. He knew you had always been one to hold in your emotions until you just couldn't take it anymore, it happened when your grandmother died and you never cried about it or talked about her anymore. You did the exact same thing when Jeno broke up with you.

"I hate him," you murmured into his shirt as you shook your head to yourself. "I hate him so much— he's a damn, damn— traitor!"

"I know," he sighed, resting his cheek on the side of your head. "I know."

sour series masterlist. masterlist. rules.

#lee jeno #jeno #lee jeno imagines #jeno imagines #jeno angst #jeno smut #nct #nct dream #nct u #nct 127 #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct angst #nct smut #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop angst #kpop scenarios #nct fake texts

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radiant-reid · 2 years

Note

idk if the first one got sent-

(ok this is one of the worst things to talk ab on international womens day of all days bUT-)

i know that i, a modern day feminist, wants ANY man to know that i can handle myself in any situation like that anon ask but now bc of said ask i need blurbs of husband(or boyfriend or pining, idc)!spencer standing up for or defending reader or else. i wont take no for an answer girlies, so ima need you to drop recs in the comments

-🐝

of course. i'm sorry it's so late <3

Spencer is used to being the odd one out. He's the youngest member of the BAU, and his intellect often sets him apart from his colleagues.

But he has never felt as uncomfortable as he does now, standing in the crowded police precinct, surrounded by men who were openly leering at you.

It had started with a few offhand comments, the kind that was meant to be funny but left a sour taste in Spencer's mouth. Then it had escalated to outright harassment, with some of the officers making suggestive gestures as you walked by.

Spencer had tried to ignore it at first, let you deal with it as you saw most appropriate and focus on the task at hand, but as the comments became more aggressive and personal, he knew he couldn't stay silent any longer.

"Excuse me." He says, stepping in front of you and facing the group of officers. "Can we please focus on the case at hand? We're all here to solve a crime, not to make inappropriate comments about our colleagues." The officers laugh, but Spencer stands his ground. "I'm serious." He says, his voice rising with anger. "This behavior is unacceptable, and it needs to stop."

One of the officers, a burly man with a thick mustache and bad body odor, steps forward. "What's the matter, pretty boy?" He sneers. "Can't handle a little locker room talk?"

Spencer feels a surge of rage. How could these men be so callous, so disrespectful? No matter what room it happens in, it's wrong. He takes a step forward, ready to confront the officer, but before he can say anything, you speak up.

"Excuse me." You say, keeping a calm but firm voice. You've kept quiet out of ease, blowing up at them would only make the whole working relationship tense, and to save people, everyone needs to be working together. "I don't appreciate being talked about like I'm a piece of meat. And I'm sure the families of the victims we're here to help wouldn't appreciate it either."

The room falls silent, and for a moment, Spencer thinks the officers might apologize and back off. But then the mustache man steps forward again, his face twisted in anger.

"Who do you think you are?" He growls. "Coming in here, telling us how to do our jobs?"

"I'm not telling you how to do your job." You say. "I'm asking you to show me respect."

The officer scoffs. "Respect? You want respect? How about you show us a little respect and stop acting like you're better than us?"

Spencer can feel his blood boiling. This man is completely out of line, and he knows he had to do something before the situation gets out of hand.

"Excuse me." He says, his voice steady but forceful. "Y/n is not acting like she's better than anyone. She's simply asking to be treated with basic human decency. That isn't too much to ask."

The officer glares at Spencer, but before he can say anything, the door to the precinct opens, and a man in a suit walks in.

"What's going on here?" He asks, looking around the room.

Spencer recognizes him as the captain of the precinct, and he breathes a sigh of relief. Maybe with a higher-up present, the officers will back off.

But the mustache man isn't done yet. "These feds are coming in here, telling us how to do our jobs, and then they're crying about being disrespected? Give me a break."

The captain raises an eyebrow. "Is that true?" He asked, looking at you. It seems impossible he's even questioning your truthfulness.

Spencer takes a deep breath, ready to defend you until the end. "No, sir." He says. "We're here to work with you, not against you. But we won't tolerate being harassed. Agent L/n hasn't reacted to any of the disgusting comments coming from your officers, but one more and all the sanctions you can imagine will be filed against your officers and you as their supervisor." He's always been respectful of authority, drawn inside the line, but this is an argument he's not going to back down from.

Thankfully, the captain understands the seriousness of what's gone on. You're willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has just had his head in the sand for the last few days. It's not surprising when he's spent most of the time in his office with the blinds drawn. "Outside, all of you. Now." He sounds furious, scowling at them.

You turn to him, nudging his shoulder. "Thanks."

He shakes his head. "I'm sorry you had to listen to that crap, and I hope I didn't overstep by stepping in."

"Not at all." You assure him. "Thank you for it, truly."

#🐝#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #criminal minds #spencer reid blurb

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misojunnie · 1 year

Note

i find the vampire and werewolf rivalry dynamic really funny for whatever reason, so may i request some &team hcs with a friend/partner who’s a vampire while they’re… yknow, werewolves?

oh the shenanigans they would get up to

☆ &team as your werewolf bf! w/ a vampire partner ;)

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

byun eui joo - ej

wasn't really objected to you being a vampire tbh. if anything, he was kinda interested

the quiet, kind-hearted typa guy to be like "it doesn't matter if we're different species, love is love, right?"

crazy clingy, and loves your fangs. he has fangs himself, but they're nowhere near as sharp and long as yours are. he loves admiring them when you smile and when he kisses you

loves that you're a vampire. it took zero time to get used to it

by now he knows all your needs by heart <3

murata fuma - fuma

shocked to discover you were a vampire, but not necessarily unhappy about it

when other werewolves are around you, his protective instincts kick in immediately and he's ready to die to protect you

you tried to hide your relationship for a while, but he gave up quick

he couldn't help it, he always wanted to show you off <3

rolls his eyes when you hiss at his werewolf friends (who aren't exactly fond of you)

koga yudai- k

considering how passionately khan hates vampires, I think k would probably share that trait tbh

was heartbroken when he realized you were one of his mortal enemies. it took him months to recover

but once he got adjusted to it, he could give a fuck what other people think

he proudly shows you off, even around the other werewolves. he doesn't care what they say, and if they threaten you? he won't hesitate to rough them up

drags a dead deer home every week or so, so you can feed <3

wang yixiang- nicholas

was shocked when he found out the cutie in his chem class was actually a vampire, AKA his worst enemy

he was disgusted. he's a prideful guy, so it took him a long time to accept that he was in love with a literal vampire (he couldn't stay away and ended up apologizing with a cute date <3)

secretly loves it when you bite him (teehee)

when you fight, expect fangs out and full blown screaming matches fueled by millennia of ancestral beef. lmao

"you think i'm high maintenance? try dating someone who literally lives off sucking life force!"

nakakita yuma - yuma

scandalized by the fact that you're a vampire. you told him after you started dating, and he had to break up with you for 2 weeks as a grieving period

the adjustment period was long, but now he knows just about everything there is to know about vampires

always ready to debate vampire/werewolf history with you

"uh, no. the battle of 1824 was obviously the vampires' fault. you broke the peace treaty, not us."

always puts on dracula because he thinks it's your favorite movie. it totally isn't, but he means well, so you don't tell him otherwise

asakura jo - jo

figured out you were a vampire like three weeks before you broke the news. he decided to stay with you anyway bc he doesn't really care what the other werewolves think

brings you coffee when you crave blood bc he thinks it'll help

you're the extroverted drama queen and he's the stoic, introvert bf

is very in tune to your needs, and won't hesitate to kill a literal human being to satisfy you (you tell him not to, though)

"I know you're a vampire, but you need to get your blood lust in control. I'm your boyfriend, not a piece of meat."

shigeta harua - harua

when you told him you were a vampire, he listened to his pack and dumped you, but followed his heart since and won you back <3

like ej, very in tune to your needs and wants

comes back from "hanging with the boys" carrying a huge dead deer/cow/etc, covered in blood with a huge smile on his face

"I brought dinner! do you like it?" "it's definitely bloody..."

all in all, he just wants to make sure you're feeling comfortable and happy <3

ta-ki

didn't really care that you were a vampire. k initially gave him flack, but he ignored it until his friends gave up

sunshine x sunshine protecter irl. he's just happy to be there, and you're ready to kill for him, need be

but watch out; insulting you is a one way ticket to seeing his dark side (even if you're his friend/one of his kind)

loves double dates, and even introduced some of his werewolf friends to your vampire friends. you two singlehandedly repair the relationship of the species in your city <3

hirota riki - maki

did not gaf that you're a vampire. loves you too damn much to care what species you are

loves bear hugs, but constantly underestimates his inhuman strength. will try to hug you and accidentally tackle you

gets crazy sassy with you when you argue, eg; "don't bare your fangs at me while i'm speaking."

loves running away with you at night to hunt, wander the streets, and generally fuck around. midnight walks are his favorite, and luckily he never has to worry about being cautious during the night, considering you're both the strongest beings on the planet

locks himself in his room during full moons bc he gets embarrassed about transforming in front of you lol

ॱ⋅.˳˳.⋅ॱᐧ.˳˳.⋅ʚϊɞ.

a/n: omg this was so cute... I usually struggle with the werewolf stuff bc it annoys me so bad but this was actually rlly fun... maybe i'm warming up to the werewolf concept 🤔😇

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shmowder · 4 months

Note

Your blog is making me want to replay Patho 2 again... I did play once on the intended difficulty, and then I replayed it afterwards on the easiest settings, doing everything and saving everyone and I'm ngl, that was some of the most fun I've ever had even though it wasn't quite in the spirit of the game haha

The so-called spirit of the game is this senior citizen wirh an overgrown 2000s anime boy haircut who shakes his cane at you sassily when you choose to only swallow a handful of razors as opposed to the razor muckbang the game offers.

I finished the game on the hardest difficulty

This was my first time playing the game ever. I straight up went to the intended difficulty, saved everyone, did everything, and never starved for a single day. I had 20+ Shmowders by the end. I was fully stocked on meat, I was fully stocked on homemade antibiotics and maxed the hospital shift each day.

All of that with only 3 Deaths

WHERE IS MY FUCKING CELEBRATION HUH? WHERE IS MY MEDAL? NO ONE THEW ME A PARTY, NO ONE INVITED BELLA HADID >:( MARK WASN'T IMPRESSED.

Fuck you Mark! ONE OF THOSE DEATHS WAS BULLSHIT YOU DUMB SLUT. YOU SPAWNED A GUY ON TOP OF ME WHILE I WAS PICKING UP HERBS, HOW THE FUCK DID HE ONE SHOT ME WITH FULL HEALTH HUH? YOU WHORE.

What I'm saying is. Look, we both finished the game on complete opposite extremes, yet we're both here. In a pathologic x reader blog on tumblr. We both had fun and shared a good understanding of the plot and characters. That's what matters. Everything else is just people patting themselves on the shoulder. You're the only one who will be impressed with the fact you beat the game flawlessly, and you're the only one who will be bothered by the fact you picked an easier difficulty

Because it's really not that different. To me, I have the kind of autism that makes games like pathologic smoother than water for me, I thrived on the ruthlessness of dark soul and did a no death run in darkest dungeon. But also. I absolutely suck at casual games, I can't play Stardew Valley unless I'm fully cheating, I can't for the life of me beat a single platforming game because I have a slow reaction speed.

Play Pathologic however you want! Ice-pick Joe isn't gonna pop from under your bed at 3am to beat you up with hammers. This is coming from the most tryhard difficulty elitism person there is in games.

Buttttt. I do recommend giving Pathologic classic HD a try. I promise anyone who beat Pathologic 2 on ANY difficultly will cuck tf out of the first game. There is no thirst! The vendors have unlimited money, and you can sell all of your trash to them! THE ECONOMY IS THRIVING I BOUGHT FOOD ON THE DAYS THE PRICES WERE SKYROCKETING BC I COULD AFFORD IT. I would've never financially recovered from buying food in P2 on any day that's not the first one. In P1, I rarely slept because I was deepthroating lemons and snorting coffee beans day and night since I could easily afford the health/hunger penalty.

Meanwhile, in P2, I'd save coffee beans to sell to get enough money to save up for army clothes.

The combat is so forgiving, the houses with good loot aren't the infected ones like in P2 but the burned ones! The AI in that game is so stupid you can trick plague clouds into disappearing if you stand still! You can glitch and jump over fences to take shortcuts through the town! YOU CAN SCAM THAT CUNT ANDREY STAMATIN FOR ENDLESS SHOTGUNS.

Lastly don't forget that 90% of the Pathologic fandom haven't even played any of the games at all. 70% probably never watched a single playthrough either and just video essays instead.

In the steam version of Pathologic 2, Only 10% of players who bought the game have ever reached the end.

10% !!! That's us there! Me and You! It doesn't matter how what matters is that we both did it while 90% of people gave up.

And the situation in the classic game is even more dire tbh-

Only 6% ever opened the game and made it through the first day. Only 3% ever made it to the last day.

So, really good on you for finishing the game! Good on me for finishing the game! WE DID IT! YAY! Someone really should give Bella Hadid a call.

Also, please do yourself a favour and ignore whatever the video essayist says about the difficulty of the games. They're good storytellers for building an interesting narrative to watch, but they're not good at videogames assessment. Each of their reasons is very personalised by their own experience and doesn't necessarily mean other people will struggle with the same issues. Don't listen to anyone who tells you picking an easy difficulty ruins the game either, Pathologic doesn't relay on its brutal gameplay to shine, it can more stand on its own as a narrative story walking game. If anything, it would probably shine better on easier difficulties when you have time to dig for context clues and plot without starvation breathing down your neck. I missed some flavour text quests because I was too stressed about balancing different objectives to do them or pay attention when something important was said.

#♧other #Pathologic 2 #pathologic classic hd #pathologic

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female-woman-wiffman-lass · 3 months

Text

Though in think tank:

It's just the two of us (three actually, its a tricycle now)

harringroveson, metalsandwhich

just the two of them wanting the same guy and finding each other

while said guy is trying to be filling. they're having the feels and steve is horny. he's fine though. I'll decide if I can keep this going. they will fuck nasty. in like, the next parts.

Billy Hargrove and Eddie Munson are hooking up. They've got a good thing going on.

They're into each other, they have stuff in common, be it music, the fashion, their preferences. They're fast and quick. Furious and sharp, all teeth when they're together. Get a thrill and kind of comfort with how consistent and similar they could be. They bounce off and work each other to heights. It feels like it's only the two of them, like steel sharpening steel. In this small hick town.

Billy's always felt a lot, even more now he's stuck here. Always ran hot now he's stuck in a chilly, dreary town, used to feel like he could breathe slow and easy out there but not when he's stuck here. And with Eddie. Well, Eddie always wanted more, knows he's made for more. He's flagging half-heartedly in a small town, and now Billy has to tuck himself in. They both always feel bigger on the inside. No one is like them. Not in the way they know.

No one else feels jagged or rough. Neither Eddie nor Billy know anyone who can stop the itch, the aches in their jaw, the tightness.

Enter Steve Harrington. Just, not really.

Now, Steve seemed exactly nothing like either of them. Yes, he's masculine. A man. But he's not.. like them. Not dark or sharp, probably not what either of them would experience, probably doesn't feel like a whirlwind in his body, doesn't scratch. But it doesn't stop either of them from ogling. Shooting the shit with each other, letting out comments and thoughts on guys the've seen. And even if Harrington was open, or experimenting, or anything that would lead preppy jocks astray, he probably wouldn't be any good. Wouldn't be fun, no matter how pretty. No matter how soft.

Billy and Eddie's standards on the anyone in Hawkins, any man they might think of in the sense they'd think of each other. None for now, just them. Clocked each other so fast and collided with each other like a car crash. But both can agree, yeah. Steve's hot.

Billy's been knowing about it, having been hanging out with Steve. Knowing who he is, mostly on the court. Gets a kind of satisfaction being able to push this boy around.

And Eddie, who's there with his comments as they talk, will also have assumptions. He's known the guy longer. (If he ever really knew him. What more do you need when everyone else knows some.)

"Bill, he's just the usual, man." He takes a drag out of his cigarette, leaning on the side of his van. "Harrington. He's just a dude. I mean we're in Hawkins. Pretty boys like him got to be repressed. One way or another."

He scoffs, turning his head to him, eyebrows raised and hands waving vaguely in front of him, "have you seen him with Tommy? Before you came around those two were—" he puts up a tight fist and shakes it, like it would mean something. "Y'know? Tommy boy's been trailing after him since eighth grade."

Billy let's out a sharp laugh, stealing Eddie's cigarette, "calling me a homewrecker, Munson?"

"Is it homewrecking when you 'wreck' both parties? You ensnare Tommy away from the King and then you come round to have a chat with Harrington in the showers?" He let's Billy have the cigarette, crossing his arms as he leans in closer, "which, what was that about?"

(Eddie's been in this town, longer than the fresh meat Billy was supposed to be. Has seen the King parading around, stuck in his own little world. Head up in the clouds and not bothering to look down and check if his feet were even touching the ground. Til '83 that is.

It was weird. After Nancy Wheeler, sometime in November with all of them being gone for a while after two people go missing —one was Byers' little brother he remembers, he wasn't sure who the other one was, a girl?—only to come back with Wheeler on Jonathan Byers side of all places. Sweet and looking at each other like they've found someone who understands. Found someone who knows life outside. As if they knew there'd be more out there.

And Steve. Steve looked settled. Looked normal and still moving even when he looked at either of them, the couple. Like he knows he's small in this stupid town but doesn't feel tight in his own skin. That even though he hasn't found anyone like that, and even lost something he's still fine. That he's seen more and knows better even when he stood still. He's found out about the same things Byers and Wheeler had. Went through the motions. Was just waiting for a pin drop to be able to live. It fascinated, Eddie. He envied it. He scoffs in his mind, what would Steve Harrington know?

Will he ever get to know? The boy and the why?)

Billy rolls his eyes, taking one last drag from his cigarette before putting it out, dropping it on the concrete for hi to stomp, "fucking nothing, Edward."

Not nothing. He heard Eddie and his 'normal dude' rant. But he can't fool Billy. He knows the guy saw the same thing in Harrington he did. He was different and radiant in this stupid town while also fitting in perfectly. He was fucking lame and didn't know a single thing. But. He also knew some things. Makes it seem like the things he knows were life altering

Harrington was an enigma. A person with thoughts and feelings and in some kind of state. He was your average fucking prep. Image obsessed, vain, and so impossibly normal. And a flea who only knows the jar can't jump over the cap. But Steve. It's like he doesn't care. He doesn't know why he only knows this side of The King's rebrand. How he only knows one side to the story. How he knows Tommy and his weird obsession with Steve and how he left, and turned fucking bitch. Acted like he was now bottom of the barrel. But the King (although Billy has a feeling he isn't one anymore) is fine. Acted like dropping his nuclear friend group and demographic was nothing. Which in the grand scheme of things, maybe it wasn't. But it's supposed to be something, to boys like Steve Harrington. He doesn't know why he cares.

"Ouuh, fucking nothing, Edward, blah blah. Also, don't call me that." He huffs. "You're not the only one thirsting, William. Everyone wants, envies, covets at a piece of Steve Harrington. But again, he's just a dude. Hell, I had the hots for him too. Besides," he knocks shoulders with Hargrove, finger going up to flick at his piercing then to loop around a blonde curl.

"Ya got me right now."

Billy looks at him with considering gaze, before smirking. He straightens up off the van, "you wish, freak." He goes round to the back of the van, opening it up, before crawling in.

Eddie grins, scampering off after him. He pushes the both of them obssesed with Steve Harrington bit away from his mind. He's hanging with Billy.

Steve frowns a bit as he sees both men hop into the back of Munson's van. He was just passing by the parking lot. He sighs, scratching his head. He needs to go to another fucking bar. His nightmares are acting up again. Who knew the eerie light of the pool and his own house lights would make him twitch? What a life. He's okay though, pretty sure.

He smiles as he hops in the car. A night in Indy will fix him up. Surely. It always does. (And although Nancy –and Jonathan suprisingly– were worried, he assures them both as sweetly as he could that it was definitely not alcoholism. It's either more or less better than they expected. But he's glad his new friends slash two wheels he third wheels slash co-monster fighters were worried.)

As he drives off, he takes a glance at the rear view mirror, before shaking his head. Why would they hook up out in the open, in that back of the guy's van in a parking lot? Sure they could be hotboxing or some shit and smoking the weed in that dweeb Munson's lunchbox but Steve doubts that. With how hot the both of then are and how intensely they were looking at each other they were for sure fucking. He thought at least Hargrove would know better.

"Shame, shame," he shrugs, even though no one can see him, his expression set in 'it is what it is.' He wonders what he should wear and what he should order. He licks his lips and hums happily. He gets to feel alive for the weekend.

#harringrove #steddie #mungrove #harringroveson #stranger things fanfic idea #stranger things au #i just want metal sandwhich #also #metalsandwich #just these two dudes being with each other thinking about that one guy they're weirdly obsessed with #then thinking they're the only two people who would understand each other i a way that would soothe them #and genuinely thinking that this perfect man might fix them when they know they dont have chance #said 'normal guy' has experienced horrors and in this au: thought breaking up w his gf and sucking dick would fix the aforementioned horror #now at least he's figured himself out #im talking about steve btw #while these two metalheads are lamenting and confiding each other in a battle kf longing and companionship #steve lowkey highkey wanna bang #steve 'im just a dude' harrington #the think tank writing #charl's got thoughts #steddie fanfiction

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