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anjaelle · 2 years

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Warped | Part I

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Characters: Jake 'Hangman' Sersin x Black!Reader (Late 20s) x Mickey 'Fanboy' Garcia Word Count: 3k Warning: Unreality (basically) Summary: A road trip cuts through a small, nowhere town and gets a little freaky. a/n: I'm a bitch who loves to be a little extra with her plots. Below is an accompanying mixtape with some vintage bangers.

Masterlist | ꩜The Warped Mixtape ꩜

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"C'mon, c'mon. Work with me."

SIGNAL NOT FOUND

"Fuck."

You sat, stranded and exhausted, in the middle of a strip mall parking lot. You'd crossed over into a small town in the middle of nowhere--you think you saw a sign that said "MILLERSFORD." But you'd been driving for hours, and could've easily confused it for someplace else. The neon lights of the 24 hour convenience store buzzed menacingly, and the cashier curiously eyed your car from the inside. Your cell signal refused to cooperate, it was an hour until midnight, and you were beginning to run low on gas.

You mentally kicked yourself for blindly thinking you'd start the new year in a new city, among friends.

You swallowed hard and slouched down in your chair, well aware that you'd need to find a place for the night. You couldn't keep driving under these conditions.

As you pushed the store's door open, a bell rang announcing your arrival. The middle aged, blonde cashier brightened up. It was then that you noticed that she was wearing a colorful garland around her neck, attached to a flask.

"Hey there! Happy almost New Year!"

She blew a tiny kazoo and you couldn't help but tiredly grin at her enthusiasm. Her joy would be infectious if you weren't dead on your feet.

"Same to you. Um--" you glanced briefly at the TV behind her, showing the raging crowd in New York. "--Is there anywhere nearby where I can sleep for a bit? I've been on the road for most of the day and I need to lay down."

She leaned forward on her elbows and hummed in thought. "There's an inn a few minutes down the road." She pointed south, into the darkness, "That probably has some vacancies. I think Dawn's boy might be working the check-in there." The woman giggled and shook the flask that appeared to be empty now, "I need to ease up on the sauce. I forget the boy's name. But let him know that Janie told ya about it, and you might get a little discount."

You weren't sure you really needed a discount for a small town inn, but you appreciated the friendly reminder anyway. You grinned, thanked her, gave her a tip for her troubles, and dragged yourself back to your car to contemplate your life and terrible choices.

"'No, I won't take the train'," you murmured to yourself, "I'll drive. It'll be nice to be alone.' What an idiot."

┉┈◈◉◈┈┉

Dawes' Inn wasn't particularly difficult to find. The bright green vacancy sign beamed like an oasis in the middle of a vast desert. You could almost smell the hotel disinfectant the minute you got out of your car. And as you rolled your luggage through the dimly lit lobby, you noted how depressing everything looked. Faded floral wallpaper decorated the walls, and a church service played on the flat screen mounted on the wall. The overhead ceiling fan lazily circulated, moving around the humid air that was uncharacteristic of December...but apparently normal for the area. Your t-shirt clung to your back and your braids were beginning to frizz at the root. Your skin felt sticky. Your mouth felt dry.

As you crossed the lobby to the concierge desk, you noticed a college-aged boy with blue hair and tattoos, reading a comic book. On the wall behind him was a large American flag with a framed photo of Donald Trump in the middle. You pursed you lips, and began to consider if sleeping in your car would be the better option. The boy glanced up at you and waved politely.

"Hey, sorry," he motioned with his book, apologetically, "I was kind of in the zone."

"No problem. I just wanted to get a room for the night." Your eyes glanced up at the photo again, and he followed your gaze, then winced.

"My Aunt Ginny's idea. Sorry..." he placed the comic book under the counter and began typing away at the desktop, "I promise, me and my mom aren't like that."

"That's comforting to know." At this point, you didn't have much interest in small talk. Sleep crept up on you, and you hid your yawn behind your hand. Getting the gist of your capacity for conversation, the boy rushed to get your information. As you mentioned Janine from down the road, he rolled his eyes but laughed.

"I swear, she'd be our official marketing rep if she wasn't so stubborn."

He tore your receipt from the printer and handed it over, along with two keys ("One for the safe and one for the door. They're labelled."). As you hauled ass across the parking lot, you checked your phone and saw that it was 10 minutes until midnight. You'd given up hope on getting to watch the ball drop. What was the point, if you were alone in an unknown town? It was just another day now.

The room was clean, at the very least. The scent of lemon cleanser smacked you across the face. You sighed tiredly.

5 minutes to midnight.

You pushed your bag under the writing desk beside the entrance and collapsed onto the springy, quilted bed. The digital alarm clock on the nightstand had to be as old as you are, if not older. It looked like something you'd find in your grandmother's house.

1 minute to midnight.

Your eyes drifted closed. You missed your parents. You briefly wondered if you should call them. You knew they'd very likely answer you, but your pride wouldn't allow you to concede.

10...9...8...7...

Someone in the distance shot off a gun. Or maybe it was a firecracker. Your head was pounding. You should've taken ibuprofen.

4...3...2...1...

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND YOU ARE LISTENING TO KMRB, PLAYING THE BIGGEST HITS OF TODAY

The clock went off, blasting the radio at damn near full volume and causing you to shoot out of the bed with a start. The sun peeked from behind the floral curtains and you shielded your eyes. As you reached for the nightstand, you noticed that it was 9am and that you'd been dead to the world far longer than you'd intended.

"All you've got is this moment Twenty-first century's yesterday You can care all you want..."

Through the fog of confusion, you managed to find the volume button and turned the music down so you could collect your thoughts.

"Huh," You rubbed your tired eyes. You heard people chattering outside of the door and numerous car doors slamming. It was the most life you'd heard since your arrival to the small town. First things first, you needed to find your phone. You could've sworn that you'd put it on the nightstand, but it may have fallen in your sleep. You looked around, moving the pillows and the blanket. You jumped to your feet and pulled the blankets off, listening for the telltale clatter. When nothing fell out of the sheets, you groaned in frustration and dropped to your knees to look under the bed.

"Fuck..." you mumbled, "Did I leave it in the car?"

If you did, it was very likely dead by now. You looked down at yourself to see if you could get away with running out to your car and running back without being judged for your appearance. Rumpled denim short-shorts and a tank top wouldn't be the most risque thing to show up on the streets of a town like this. You decided to risk the judgement.

As you crossed the threshold and stepped onto the scorching hot motel pavement, you squinted through the sunlight to see the parking lot filled with cars and people. When you took a closer look, you noticed how old the cars looked, and how outdated people were dressed. You could tell the confusion was evident on your face as your eyes swept over the scene in front of you.

A chorus of excited voices chattered over one another as they walked in the direction of the hotel lobby--presumably for breakfast. The freeway was busy with traffic, which was a large difference from how empty it was the night before.

A few women around your age walked by you, one clad in a pink sundress with ruffles across the neckline and the other in a blue polka dotted dress, with hair teased higher than you knew was even possible. They were deep in conversation when you waved them down.

"Excuse me?" You asked as they passed. They stopped and regarded you, the blonder of the duo in the pink dress looked you up and down and frowned. You couldn't get a read on what that expression meant. But you powered through the urge to question it, "Hey. Sorry to interrupt. Is there a convention going on or something?"

They exchanged confused glances, then looked back at you.

"...A convention?" The polka dotted dress asked.

"I mean, everyone is wearing vintage stuff. The cars?" You motioned in front of you. You were confused what THEY were confused about.

The two women exchanged glances again and the pink dress squinted at you.

"What the hell are you talking about? Vintage? This is custom made." She turned to her friend and scoffed, "Cassie, is she crazy?"

You squinted back, "Are you playing with me? Are you guys in character or something?"

"You're insane. Crack is wack, you know." The pink dress said, guiding her friend away. "You'd think they'd be more selective about who they let into this place."

"Oh get over yourself," you called back. "It's a MOTEL in West Nowhere. Not the Ritz Carlton."

You'd be more upset about the microaggression--macroaggression, really--if you weren't sure you were surrounded by people who were in on a joke you didn't know about.

You decided to just get to your car, find your phone, and head back to your room so you could plan the rest of your trip accordingly.

But you couldn't find your car anywhere. In the sea of ancient red and silver cars, or cars with wooden paneling, you couldn't find your trusty 2018 Honda Accord anywhere in sight. You walked between the rows, growing more frantic by the minute.

"Where the hell are you?" you muttered in frustration. You decided to fish out your keys to click the unlock button, and the car that responded was...not your car.

It was a Honda. It had your plates. It was the same bright red color But it was NOT yours.

You backed away from it and looked down at the keys in your hand to see that it didn't match the ones you had last night.

"Cool, cool, cool, cool. Someone's just playing a trick on me." You muttered. You felt your breathing picking up and you turned on your heels to rush to the hotel lobby. Following the crowd of people, you heard bits and pieces of conversation.

"...and I told Clara that it's expensive to go to West Berlin. We're trying to save for college here..."

"...forced to take Benny to the mall. I dunno, I might just leave him at the arcade..."

Some song from the 60s played through the speakers in the lobby--which looked much more vibrant than it did the night before. And as you rushed to the front desk, you caught sight of the smiling portrait of Ronald Reagan beaming at you evilly from the wall that had an entirely different portrait just 9 hours before. The young woman behind the counter smiled curiously at you, as you absolutely had a look of both confusion and panic written all over your face. She wore a sky blue dress with huge shoulder pads, and her hair in a big, feathered style that you imagine took a very long time to do. You were impressed with her dedication to the bit.

"Good morning, sweetie." She popped her gum cheerfully as she shuffled around some papers in front of her. "How can I help you?"

"Hi, um...I need a little bit of help here. I can't seem to find my car. I thought I parked it in the spot designated for my room, but maybe I made a mistake. I was pretty tired last night."

She waved away the apologetic tone of your request, "It happens to the best of us. I wasn't in last night, so I won't be the best person to help you. But my cousin was. Let me go grab him from the back."

You thanked her profusely as she disappeared behind the office doors. And as your drummed your fingernails on the counter awaiting the blue haired boy from the night before, you thought about how worried your friends must have been. To them, you drove into the night and didn't show up the next day. They probably thought you were in a ditch somewhere.

You were deep in your thoughts when a blond man sidled up to the counter. A blond man who was absolutely NOT the person who helped you the night before. You felt hyper aware of the fact that you looked a mess. You were in last night's clothes, and you hadn't even washed your face, yet. And, still, his eyes raked over you like he was dying of thirst and you were a glass of ice water in the desert.

"Well, now...you're a sight for sore eyes. How can I help you, ma'am?"

He shot you a wide, flirtatious grin and leaned forward on his elbows. You forced yourself not to stare at the way his sleeves hugged his arms. Your car was missing. Now was not the time.

"Uh...hi. Hey. Um..." you mentally kicked yourself. Use your grown up words, Jesus Christ. "Could you please check to see what spot I was supposed to park my car in? I think I may have made a mistake, and I wanna double check."

He quirked a brow at you and leaned back slightly.

"When did you come in?" He pulled a massive leather bound book from under the counter and began thumbing through it.

"Around 11:45-ish."

His hand stilled over the pages and he peered back at you, curiously. "You sure?"

"Absolutely."

He hummed and tapped his fingers on the pages again, "I was here all night long, and I don't remember you coming in. And trust me...I would've remembered you."

You pushed away the warmth in your cheeks to clarify, "Well, you weren't at the counter last night. It was a boy. He was kinda young. Had blue hair and tattoos."

The confusion on his face intensified, "Nobody here looks like that. Ginny would have a fit." He suddenly laughed, "Are you sure you weren't uh...imbibing?"

You didn't laugh. This wasn't funny. You just wanted to know where your goddamn car was. You pulled your ID out of your pocket and handed it to him.

"Here. See if you can find my name in the system. I obviously made a reservation here if I have keys and managed to park in the lot."

He picked up the card and laughed again. It was a loud, sharp guffaw that made you even more annoyed than you already were.

"Are you pullin' my leg?" He said, laughing again, "Did you get this from one of those joke shops by the freeway?"

"What are you talking about?" You said, leaning forward on the counter. At this point, you were stopping yourself from jumping over it to strangle him.

He pushed the ID back over the counter and tapped his finger at your birth year.

"You need to go to the DMV and get this sorted if this is real, Marty McFly. How the hell are you gonna give me an ID saying you're born almost a decade from now? C'mon."

Now you were looking at him like he was deranged. Almost a decade from now? You looked at your ID again, and it looked the same as it always had.

"Are any of you ever going to just break character and help me?" You asked in frustration. "I'm sick of this. You weren't doing this yesterday!"

"I didn't know you, yesterday." He responded, the mirth of the situation still evident in his face.

If you had the energy, you would've jumped over the counter then. Instead you took a deep breath and asked if you could borrow his phone. You weren't surprised when you were handed a rotary phone instead of a cell phone. Because of course he'd do that.

You dialed the first number that came to mind, begrudgingly, and listened as someone picked up on the second ring. You expected to hear your mother's voice, but your heart stopped in your chest and your hand trembled.

"Hellooo hello... this is Myra Lloyd. Happy New Year!"

You nearly dropped the receiver. The voice was as clear as day, but younger than you remembered. And you hadn't heard it in over ten years. You swallowed hard. You had to be dreaming. This wasn't real.

"...Grandma?" You whispered, gripping the phone in your fist.

"Hello? I think you may have the wrong number, dear." She said, in her vibrant sing-songy voice that you missed so much. You heard a teenager calling for your grandmother in the background, and she responded, "Oh! It might be her. I'll ask. Are you looking for Deirdre?"

Your heart squeezed at the sound of your mother's name and you immediately hung up. Suddenly everything sounded far away and all the air escaped from your lungs.

You stared at the phone in shock, and the man behind the counter waved in front of your face.

"Hey...are you alright?"

You couldn't explain to him that you'd just heard your dead grandmother's voice on the phone. Who would believe you? You wouldn't have even believed it yourself if you hadn't heard it with your own ears.

"What year is it?" You asked, refusing to look him in the eye. You silently begged him to give you the right answer to prove you weren't going crazy. To maybe give you an ounce of relief. Even if there was no explaining what just happened...

"It's 1989."

"...Oh."

It was all you could muster before you blacked out and hit the floor of the hotel lobby.

#Jake 'Hangman' Sersin x reader #glen powell x reader #Hangman x reader #This is my first time in ages writing for someone new so be patient with the baby #jae writes

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plvto-sqda · 2 years

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-⋆ Dating Gareth Headcanons

⭒ Please play with his hair, he certainly just MELTS at your touch. You can put it into little braids, or ponytails (he thinks it's funny when you do the thing where you make one little ponytail in the front so it kinda looks like he's a unicorn), whatever you want tbh! He really likes it when you run your fingers through his hair because that's very comforting and relaxing to him, and if you're lucky enough he might just fall asleep right there haha. ~A bonus to this headcanon~ He likes doing your hair as well! And he knows what he's doing because he has little sisters and he does their hair for them either when their mom is busy and can't do it at the moment or because they ask him to. And don’t forget he likes head pats too, he thinks it’s adorable when you give him one especially if you’re shorter than him and have to stand on you’re tiptoes to reach his head and he always loves giving some to you as well.

⭒ AKSJFBS him teaching you the drums like how Charlie was teaching Nick in Heartstopper tho!! He would try not to get flustered about it but he got flustered anyway.

⭒ Speaking of that, he gets flustered pretty easily even when you are already dating or if you subtly flirt with him because honestly, this is all kinda new to him. Kiss him on the cheek and he'll be all smiles for a long time, kiss him on the lips and he will act confident about it but when you pull away you'll notice that he's blushing profusely and it just gets worse if you giggle at him afterward or point it out.

⭒ He really likes animals and he would have a soft spot for "all the little guys" as he likes to call them like hamsters, birds, amphibians, and reptiles. Also, if you're wondering if he's more of a cat or dog person, I feel like he would love cats... but I have a slight feeling he is a little bit more of a dog person. He would fall in love with your pet especially if you had a dog, and double points if it was a big one.

⭒ He likes to go on movie dates (you two did this a LOT when you first started dating) when it's rainy or when you guys are bored. Though he really likes to explore the outdoors with you rather than indoor dates (even though he adores those too) and though he can't really afford it, he would love to take you to Oregon, California, or possibly somewhere tropical like Hawaii or Bali someday to enjoy more special outdoor dates.

⭒ WILL make you mixtapes with either songs that remind him of you, or for special occasions. He would absolutely cherish the mixtapes you make for him too :).

⭒ Expect to get rocks from him as well! And he'll appreciate getting any rock you give him and will instantly add it to his collection

✮ Modern HCs

⭒ He loves sharing earbuds and listening to metal with you or if you want to relax he'll listen to indie pop too but it honestly kinda depends on the song and/or artist.

⭒ He will build you an epic mansion in Minecraft for you with a ton of animals because you guys love animals lol. I could see him also playing Terraria too. Also, he would just LOVE Undertale and Deltarune, especially the humor in it. I feel like he would be into anime but it would kinda depend on what the show was because he would probably watch a kinda girly one with you but def not watch it on his own time if you know what I mean. He would like cartoons like Teen Titans though or Over The Garden Wall (I think he would love the fact that Elijah Wood voiced Wirt), The Owl House, The Amazing World of Gumball, Adventure Time, and Steven Universe. I could see him thinking Bee and Puppycat was cute though as well.

⭒ I feel like he would watch horror videos on Youtube as well as playthroughs and drumming videos.

#gareth emerson fluff #gareth emerson #stranger things #corroded coffin #hellfire club #gareth the great #this is my first headcanon (/fic ig?) btw and I'm happy to receive feedback if you have any for me :D #gareth stranger things

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wickedlittlewordsmith · 1 year

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Honey, it feels like I’ve sent you countless amount of the same asks, but maybe tumbler just ate them. But anyways, if you allow me…

any thoughts on punk!steve’s mixtape?

I imagine that he would listen to something like The Smiths, maybe The Ramones (Poison Heart and Rock’n’Roll Highschool), maybe Blondie. Maybe even Elton John (Rocket Man because lines: "and I think it's gonna be a long, long time/'til touchdown brings me 'round again to find/I'm not the man they think I am at home” and lines from I’m Still Standing: "looking like I’m true survivor/feelin’ like a little kid" suit him perfectly). Maybe he would also listen to The Feminine Complex and The Doors or even Janis Joplin.

To be honest, I feel a little embarrassed… and I hope you don’t mind me sharing this.

And I would really appreciate to know what you’re imagining when it goes about steve’s new music preferences.

Oh man, oh man, oh man. I love being able to talk music, especially punk music.

Alright so!

Let’s start with a thing: this is all going to be specific to my take on Punk!Steve. Everyone’s got different interpretations and flavors, and admittedly I draw heavily on the SoCal punk scene of the ‘70s and ‘80s bc I’m a SoCal baby

So!

I definitely see Steve starting out with the more “mainstream” punk bands. So bands like the Sex Pistols, the Ramones, and all that jazz is how he gets his foot in the door. Eventually he branches out from there, though. Bad brain, Circle Jerks, Germs, Rhino 39, Wated Youth, Bad Religion (they’d eventually become more well-known, but I’m talking beginning of Punk!Steve), The Offspring once they’re formed, and so much more. Like, he really does enjoy the wide spectrum of punk music, but there’s a fondness for hardcore punk

He absolutely vibes with Siouxsie and the Banshees, and no one can convince me otherwise.

Also! Here’s a random fun fact: every title of the different works & the title of the series as a whole is taken from different Bad Religion lyrics, specifically their 1982 album How Could Hell Be Any Worse?

(Fun fact #2 that has nothing to do with the series and everything to do with Bad Religion: the title of that album eventually becomes a line in their song “Los Angeles is Burning,” which just so happens to be one of my all-time favorite songs and definitely my favorite Bad Religion song)

#☩│redd speaks #ibellcipem #punk steve harrington #gonna swallow you whole #lmao most of the bands I mentioned here are from socal & i'm not sorry at all #alright time to get back to writing this series

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hinatastinygiant · 2 years

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11 | Golden Days

Pairing: Hinata x Fem!Reader

previous | next | greatest mixtape

Later that evening when you get home, you make yourself some food and sit down to scroll through your phone while you eat. However, about halfway through your meal, you get a call from Hinata.

You quickly wipe the food from your mouth and swallow down the bite in your mouth before answering the call.

“Hello?” you hum curiously into the phone.

“Y/N?” he responds. “Hey, I’m sorry for calling you unexpectedly. I just wanted to hear your voice. I’ve been meaning to ask how your vacation went.”

After hearing what he has to say, you can do nothing but smile from ear to ear. As you begin to tell him about your fun girls’ trip, minus the whole fantasy you had about kissing him when you were with another guy, you stand up from the table you were eating at and walk around your house mindlessly.

As you speak, Hinata asks questions about your friends, the beach, and even how you felt after the long drive there and back. You can’t really put how his voice makes you feel, but the butterflies in your stomach remain for the entirety of the conversation.

“What’ve you been up to since you got back?” he then asks.

“Do you think I forgot about you?” you smile to yourself. “I promise I haven’t.”

“I’m glad to hear that. You’re all I’ve been able to think about since the last time I saw you,” he responds. Once more, your face heats up and the butterflies cause a knot in your stomach.

“Well, since I got back I’ve been trying to help out with some things but my mom’s been making it almost impossible. I basically told her to fuck off today,” you admit.

“Shit, Y/N, you need a fucking smoke,” he teases.

“No kidding. But since I’ve been busy I haven’t been able to see my friends and get high,” you sigh.

“Well if you’re not busy now and you’re feeling up to it, you could come over to my place. I’d enjoy the company.”

“I think I might have to take you up on that,” you smile. “Can you send me your address? I’ll come over in a half hour. I was just finishing up my dinner.”

“Sorry, did I call at a bad time?” he asks. “I usually don’t call without asking for that reason.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” you shake your head. You don’t mind the impromptu call at all. “I’m glad you called. I’ll be right over.”

After hanging up the phone, you shovel the rest of your dinner into your mouth and run to your room. You quickly change and fix yourself up. Not that you need to look good for him. You have nothing to prove. But you don’t want to look sweaty or dirty, either.

When you show up, Hinata answers almost right away. He hugs you and steps to the side to let you in. Then, when you get inside, you see a pre-rolled joint on his coffee table right beside the game Monopoly.

“You’ve got this all planned out, don’t you?” you smile at him.

“Just something I came up with,” he shrugs. “You said you wanted a smoke and I thought playing a game of investments and spending money would be a great combination.”

“You know me so well,” you sigh, smiling as you walk toward the table. “I call dog.”

“Good. I wanted car anyway,” he smiles back.

When you sit, Hinata passes you the joint and grabs the lighter from the table. Then, just like he did last time you smoked together, he lights the end for you.

“Thanks,” you mutter just before pulling the smoke into your lungs. Something you regret each time you go back for another hit.

While you get high off Hinata’s stash, he begins to set up the game for the two of you.

“How much money do we start off with, Mr. Banker?” you ask him.

“One thousand five hundred dollars,” he smiles, “but you just get one thousand.”

“Hey, play fair!” you scoff.

“I bet you’re the one in your family who didn’t play fair. You probably always had some kind of trick up your sleeve.”

“Momma didn’t raise no fool,” you grin.

“So you used to get along with your mom?” he asks curiously, accidentally causing your smile to drop.

“Yeah, used to,” you reply emotionlessly. “Except she didn’t appreciate a good trick, even if it was legal. She wanted everything out in the open.”

“So you outsmarted her and she didn’t like it?” he asks, grinning.

“Maybe, maybe not,” you shrug. “Guess you’ll just have to find out. Don’t drop your guard,” you smile. “And you better hope I don’t get a ‘Get out of jail free’ card before you. ‘Cause I’ll sell that for an unreasonable price.”

“Well if you do that, I might have to do the same,” he teases. “Here’s your dog.”

“Dogs are lucky, you know,” you explain to him as you trade the small metal dog for the joint you were just smoking.

“Oh yeah?” he nods as he puts the rolled weed to his lips. “How so?”

“Well, in China, the dog is one of the twelve Zodiacs and all of those are considered lucky. Besides, dogs and loyal and honest. They represent loyalty and good fortune. Not to mention the countless studies that show owning a dog can drastically lower your blood pressure,” you nod.

“Then you better hope your dog brings you good luck,” Hinata hums as he breathes out a puff of smoke.

“More than a car will,” you smile. “Ever heard of the tortoise and the hare?”

“Are you trying to say I’m compensating my fast car for something?” he gasps jokingly.

“No,” you hum, “but remember to slow down and pick the flowers.”

“Didn’t Goldilocks’ mother tell her not to pick the flowers?”

“No,” you laugh this time. “That’s the completely wrong story. It was Little Red Riding Hood.”

“Oh. That’s right, I remember now,” he agrees.

Once the game begins, you and Hinata play a long and intense round that’s broken up by laughter and puffs of smoke. But once it finally comes to an end, and you begin to realize how late it is, your heart drops to your stomach.

“Y/N?” Hinata calls you by your name. “Do you want to stay over tonight?”

previous | next | greatest mixtape

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top-the-cat · 4 months

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I've bought loads of records since I last did a vinyl update and to be honest, there has been a lot of bargain basement bullshit in there... Don't get me wrong, there have been a few diamonds in the rough and at a couple of quid a pop, they are even more precious when you find them!

But I'm not going through them today as there are loads to fuck about with and I would need to go through them all to remind myself what's worth listening to again, and what's worth just chucking...

So we will start with my two latest acquisitions from Ninja Tune:

First off, a slice of sample heavy Polish trip-hop jazz from 2003. This was right from when I had my love affair with Ninja and greedily hoovered up most of their offerings; some I paid for, some I acquired via certain file sharing facilities, and then later ended up working for them so got them all for free!

I bought this mainly as it was cheap on their website and it meant I would get free delivery on my next record. But yeah, it's cool, jazzy, quite drum heavy, but not heavy drums, if that makes sense? More easy/swing style breaks and loops, with plenty of double bass and bits of chopped up piano and vocal snips. The sort of thing you could play to the father-in-law, who likes his jazz classic and easy, but appreciates that it evolves over time... (I played him the video of Kid Koala doing his Drunk Trumpet routine the other day and he was well impressed)

Skalpel by Skalpel

Now this, I could probably play a couple of the tracks to the father-in-law, as it is very much a jazz inspired album... but some are more towards the Venetian Snares end of the jazz spectrum, than the Ramsey Lewis end!

This was one of the albums that really defined my listening habits in the early 00's and opened me up to all sorts of jazz, drum & bass, trip hop, and breakcore sounds that I still blast to this day.

Originally released in '98, I think it was most likely Sordid that I first heard on one of the Zen compilations and was hooked on this slow, dark, jazzy, breakbeat sound and needed more. So I got hold of the Album and full on ingested it at every opportunity. This then led on to a full-on obsession with Amon Tobin where I actively sucked up all his stuff for quite a while. But like all good love affairs, it can only last so long and eventually we parted ways after five albums, two EP's a live mixtape, and getting guest list passes to his album launch party.... Which was a wicked night out, but he essentially played a hard electronic drum & bass set, which wasn't where I was at, so we called it a night.

I would check in occasionally, but he was living in the wilderness with some chap called Double Click and going by the name Two Fingers by then, making atmospheric dubstep sounds. Although that partnership didn't last long, his new found atmospheric dubstep thing continued and we were moving in different circles by then.

He did pop up on the theme tune to Orphan Black a few years later with a dainty fairy tale inspired snippet of music, and I tried out a few of his newer offerings, but the Goddess Tatiana Maslany was on the scene by then, so we wasn't going to get a look in anymore!

Anyway, twenty odd years later and I get an email saying that the latest classic Ninja Tune album to be repressed with a fancy updated artwork and coloured vinyl is this; Permutation. (I picked up Out From Out Where on gold vinyl, last year) And I'm all giggly at the thought of rekindling a lost love, even more so when it's on deep purple, heavyweight vinyl and comes in a die-cut sleeve with posters and enhanced artwork by Openmind/DJ Food....

Until I found out it was only available in the US and it would cost me £80 to get it shipped over!

Maybe it was a sign? I didn't need to relive that part of my life to that extent and £80 is a lot of money to spend on a single record that I already have on CD and haven't listened to in years anyway.

And they do say that you should never go backwards to an old flame...

On the other hand, the standard black vinyl still comes with the artwork and die-cut sleeve and it wasn't eighty fucking notes! So I threw caution to the wind to see if there was still a spark between us and you know what? It's still there...

After all these years, he still makes me feel giddy when those gentle easy going jazz loops get darker and moodier and those drums come in and get chopped up and roll and the bass wobbles my balls!

I've listened to it start to finish three times in the last few days and it's like nothing has changed between us in all these years. The track list has been changed and there is a bonus tune on the end (which I knew but was never on his albums) which has made it the same, yet totally new and I'm all in love with the god damn Brazilian break charmer all over again... let's just hope he doesn't break my heart this time!

Permutation by Amon Tobin

#more for the vinyl collection #ninja tune #skalpel #amon tobin #lost loves

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starlostseungmin · 1 year

Text

style — han jisung. （ musician from next door ）

masterlist. playlist. preview.

✰ pairing : musician!jisung x f. reader (with she and her as pronouns)

✰ genre : nsfw (18+), he fell first she fell harder (kinda??) semi-fake dating trope

✰ warnings : profanity, explicit sexual content, dom!jisung, creampie, cunninglus, fingering, oral sex (f. receiving), petnames, lots of making-out, consumptions of alcohol, clubbing, please let me know if i missed something, not proofread.

✰ word count : 13.3k

✰ playlist : style by taylor swift, meddle about by chase altantic, moonlight by dhruv, r u mine? by arctic monkeys, don't say by han jisung (unreleased), mixtape: time out by stray kids

disclaimer !!　this was supposed to be posted for han’s birthday last year but unfortunately i got busy with uni. BUT HERE IT IS AND please open these tiktok links here and here (this hit me with a huge inspiration to continue to write the fic). REBLOGGING AND LEAVING A FEEDBACK WOULD BE APPRECIATED. NSFW CONTENTS UNDER THE CUT. mdni.

The strum of his electric guitar echoed across the room as he played the instrumentals of the song he was performing with the band. A smirk was perfectly painted on his lips as his fingers were adorned with rings played with the strings. Purple, red, blue, orange, and yellow lights illuminated the stage as the white smoke crawled on the floor to collide with the band. His voice reverberated through the crowded room with his lips moved as if he was making out with the microphone. Screams and shouts, his name is famous—Han Jisung of Mist.

Many people have been eyeing him ever since his band was introduced to the public and the 5-STAR Restoclub tried to hire them. Unfortunately, Jisung refused but the offer as guests didn’t make him say No. Many of the customers come for food and entertainment but mainly for him after they heard that he’s performing. Jisung doesn’t want to understand the hype for his looks but that’s how everyone thinks of him, a fucking dom-like energy, heavenly vocals, and visuals. The sounds of his guitar made the screams go wilder as it reached a blank chorus, only the instrumental. Hyunjin caught the beat when Jisung pushed his guitar behind his back, took the mic away from the stand, and walked to the extended stage to sing the second verse. His left arm reached out to the crowd, pointing to whoever it is as he let every lyric out of his mouth. The aggressiveness of his voice, from a growl to his average pitch. Jisung knows how to perform well.

You lost consciousness that night and all you can remember is how fucked up your situation was. Jisung saw you, of course, he was amused. But that didn’t matter to you as you were embarrassed by the fact that you had to drag Seungmin to your misery that night. From crying to drunk calling Hanbin after your break up to Jisung finally having his eyes on you and making out. It happened unexpectedly and he didn’t even help you out. Your best friend stood there frozen, unable to speak, but amused. He was about to spill everything to your mom, but you suddenly passed out.

The memory lingers as a smirk plastered on his face. It was a wild Saturday night anyway.

“We kissed?” You asked Seungmin who was sitting on your bed after he noticed you were already up.

“Yep,” The boy said, adjusting his glasses on the bridge of his nose.

“And I called Hanbin to take me back?” You asked again, nervous about every response he gave.

“Uh huh,” Seungmin answered again.

“That sounds bullshit to me, Seungmin,” You retorted.

“Nah, it was real. Saw it with my own eyes,” Seungmin said, rolling his eyes.

“Motherfuー why didn’t you stop me?!” You exclaimed as Seungmin confirmed the regret and disgust on your face.

“Your misfortune is my happiness, Y/n,” He laughed. “But yeah, I was enjoying your misery,” You hit him with a pillow, full of rage but, all you heard from him was giggles while dodging every hit he takes. Seungmin knows you won’t ever get mad at him for silly reasons, but last night was different. You knew it was your fault for acting stupid in front of him, and now you have kissed Jisung, the most popular member of Mist, and not just solely in Mist, but throughout Seoul. You buried your face in the soft pillow you used to hit Seungmin and screamed your heart out, feeling all the embarrassment.

You knew you were more worried than facing Jisung than your ex. But Jisung doesn’t give a shit about it. The feeling lingers and the memory is still vivid. One making-out session made an impact on him.

They say everything stops moving when you finally have an eye-contact with someone who is destined to be with you. People freeze, time stops, the coffee poured into a mug halts as the conversations pause, and you see sparkles and flowers surrounding them.

It is bullshit.

That’s how Jisung believes it.

People these days rely on books and tv shows to define what love is like or how you’d meet the one who is meant for you. There’s nothing like that in the real world. Not everyone living on earth is lucky to find true love一even a musician who writes songs and sings about love.

Everyone gets the chance to love and be loved, a foreshadowing that is expected to come across. Jisung may do like someone, but as for experience, being in a relationship is like finding a needle in a haystack. Hookups don’t work, a one-night stand is not on the list, and blind dates make no difference. He wanted it genuine like how that one famous singer sings to her exes and describes how relationships can be.

Love is like a game with countless levels一first you have to find that person, meet that person, fall for that person, and earn their mutual perspective in return. It’s easy to fall just like the leaves in autumn but it takes time to bloom like the flowers in spring after winter. But in the blink of an eye, he may find someone who could make his world stop spinning for a while.

Sunday night, and he still thinks about you. His delicate fingers played with the mixer causing the loud music to echo through his black headphones. The slow banging of his head synchronizing to the beat got him preoccupied. Jisung didn’t know how late it was at night as his free hand wrote the words from his mind that formed into lyrics. The tip of his pen dances on the blank paper at a fast writing pace. His handwriting was barely readable. A busy week drove him insane, and a project in mind even if he has done it before didn’t immensely help him through.

But the thought of you is still bothering him.

A deep sigh escaped from his lips, disappointment draws the room at the end of the music. He wasn’t satisfied, the lyrics were too cringe. This is bullshit, he thought as he crumpled the paper with his messy writing, tossing it into the bin next to his keyboard. He leaned at the backrest of his chair, as it swiveled backward, hands on his face as he groaned in frustration while staring at the ceiling trying to invoke an idea一something that would wake up his soul to work, but, nothing. It was a significant requirement from the university, the sole reason why he stayed up all night in the studio he rented for another year. It was supposed to be a single song-making project for the finals. Compliance was supposed to be a fun thing to do for the sake of passing the course but it wasn’t always enthusiastic.

He wanted it to be special.

But his dilemma stopped when he realized how late it was.

“Shit,” He hissed under his breath and decided to take a look at the clock. His phone’s screen lit up with 3 digits in the center, 11:48 pm. “Fuck it’s almost 12,”

His headphones slid around his neck, taking everything to shove in the bag. He had to drag himself back to his working desk for double-checking before he left. Lights turned off, wires unplugged, Jisung closed the door behind him making sure it was locked, and later he was welcomed by the quiet and solemn highway, with few cars coming and going, streetlights stayed still with no people taking strolls, and stars illuminated the sky as his footsteps led him to the apartment which is only a block away from the studio. He saunters trying to think of something, but then again, nothing. His brain didn’t want to work, his body was fried, and it is always like that.

Jisung reached his apartment, and even riding the elevator to the 8th floor felt exhausting as well. He tossed his bag on the couch and went to the windows. White curtains were opened as he saw the view down the building. The moon shines so brightly, enough to give reflection to his glass windows and the other lights from the neighborhood. It was aesthetically pleasing to the eyes that he always enjoys at night. His fingers ran over his bangs, stroking them back to his head as he made his way toward the balcony. A long sigh escaped his lips, a weekend shouldn’t be wasted on a boring list of things.

He knew you are working until dawn again. The lights were off from the room next to him and it has been so quiet during nighttime. Jisung couldn’t blame you but it feels lonely not to have you next door when he’s home.

His phone suddenly lights up for a text message he received from a friend, a club invitation. It is a Sunday night anyway. A smirk formed on his lips from top to bottom一Jisung made a beeline toward his bedroom and changed clothes. An invitation from a friend to drink shouldn’t be ignored just like that, and being drunk on a weekend is like a necessary afterparty of a long-ass night. He left his apartment again, the club is far away from home.

The timing is great. He wanted to see you again.

It was all black, yellow, and white lights, time on the box, and cold air. The smooth rolling of tires on the asphalt and music from the radio made the stillness of his car a bit dramatic. The blinding lights welcomed him, a variety of colors dancing with the people around. Loud music and the scent of cigarettes and vape mixed with intoxicating alcohol, he was amused. It wasn’t his first time visiting a place like this, thanks to Hyunjin who is a party animal, he gets dragged every time, and also because of the gig with the band. He didn’t even care about the time and maybe going home at 5 in the morning would still feel like evening.

Songs with intense structures were played suddenly as he stood a few steps away from the entrance. His bandmates, slash, best pals, Hyunjin, and Minho were behind him, sipping their drinks or screaming at the top of their lungs with the others. Jisung’s eyes immediately looked to the counter to taste interesting drinks. He smiled at his two friends before walking himself through the wild crowd and managed to keep his eardrums safe from the loudspeakers below the stage.

A sigh of relief escaped his lips and was later formed into a smile of triumph but what can he say about his thoughts about love when his time suddenly stopped and everything had gone in slow motion the moment he saw you from the counter, smiling at Chan? Someone could serve him his words on a platter and Jisung would have it as his breakfast. His heart suddenly started beating faster than the normal pace. Was it love at first sight? No, he had seen you before around campus, many times and you kissed. It was different from last night. A miserable damsel in distress to the bright sunshine in front of him.

Jisung stopped in his tracks and his heart went insane when you finally had eye contact with him after diverting your gaze from your dear co-worker. People passed by, and the sounds suddenly died down between you and him, he was looking at you as you stared back. He stood there, frozen. Jisung is very familiar but never became a friend and you were no stranger to him either. He likes you for a while now. But even if he does, he is not sure how to express it, not even in the songs he wrote.

From his perspective, he knew he is in love. Yet it falls differently on your end, you were embarrassed. You spent the whole afternoon thinking about what happened last night. If it wasn’t for Seungmin reminding you about it, you already had gone feral. And you did. It was a stupid act of disgust that would haunt you for the rest of your life. What your problem is, how to face him and apologize for being such an embarrassing nitwit with a broken heart? Fuck that asshole, it’s already been three fucking months! Thanks to your dumbass ex-boyfriend, for cheating on you. His number is currently plastered on the recent calls you had. The phone number you always memorized that you can type without looking at the keypads.

But you can’t do anything now, he’s here.

A smile formed on his face and a hint of redness surfaced on your cheeks一your smile faded and remembered what Seungmin told you the morning after what happened.

“So you work here,” He said, leaning against the flat surface. Exchanging conversations wasn’t your thing before, but one should take the first step in everything.

“Yeah,” You smirked, trying to be cool despite what happened. “What can I get you?

“One martini please,”

“This one’s in the house,” You smiled, hoping he wouldn’t bring up your make-out session.

“Really?” He beamed. “Thanks Y/n,”

“You know my name?” You asked, handing him the small glass.

“Of course,” He nodded. “You’re in my music class and we’re just living right next to each other’s door. I’m Jisung by the way,” He added, handing out his hand for a shake.

“I know,” You said, taking his hand. It would be a lie that his heart melted the moment he was able to touch your hand一there was a spark to him. “Nice meeting you, I guess, we don’t interact,” You added.

“Well, I guess we need to socialize more,” He smiled. “But I have to check on the guys first, I’ll be back in a sec,” He added and immediately dashed through the crowd leaving you dumbfounded. You just prevented embarrassing yourself for the second time! It was hard to keep it to yourself.

“Way to go,” You said as you saw Chan smirking at you, making his way to receive orders.

“Damn,” Jisung sighs.

“What’s up with you?” Minho asked, noticing his friend’s dilemma. Hyunjin was quick enough to involve himself in the gossip and scooted closer to the couch.

“Did you embarrass yourself?” Hyunjin asked.

“No!” Jisung retorted. “That girl from the bar一”

“We know,” Minho said, rolling his eyes. “You made out with her last night,”

“You wanted to hook up now?” Hyunjin teased, drinking his lime juice when Jisung smacked his head, causing him to blow the drink off of his mouth. “What the fuck?!”

“A crush, maybe?” Minho smirked.

“Dude, what am I? A high school teenager?” Jisung scoffed, denying the giddiness.

“Ask her out! Fuck you,” Hyunjin retorted, wiping his lips.

“Too scared,” Jisung said, rolling his eyes.

“How about a bet?” Minho said, wiggling his brows with a sly smirk plastered on his face.

“Sounds dangerous,” Hyunjin butted in.

“Pssh,” Minho hissed. “Come on man, it’s your chance to hook up.”

“Shut up, Lee,” Hyunjin hissed as Minho glared at him.

“I’m still contemplating,” Jisung sighed.

“Dude, you kissed her,” Minho pointed out as Jisung looked at him. “Go.”

Jisung took a deep breath while looking into Minho’s eyes. Hyunjin went to mind his drink as he heard the younger one sigh in response. It only took one push to build his confidence.

“Fine,” He said, placing the drink on the table and disappearing into the crowd. Meanwhile, you sat on a stool high chair watching everyone have the time of their lives. The counter was already busy as you and Chan were taking turns. Jisung came back in a blink of an eye as he took the seat across from you as you made his drink. “Y/n,”

Here he is again. You thought.

“Hey,” You smiled, leaning on the counter.

“I shouldn’t be going around asking this but, do you want to go out with me?” He said, smirking at the idea which made you scoff in response.

“No,” You told him. “And that one martini is 12,000 won,” You said, rolling your eyes, leaving his drink served in front of his face before moving away. Jisung clicked his tongue and looked at Hyunjin and Minho who were watching you leave. Way to go wasting a free drink, Jisung!

“She’s not into you,” Minho chuckled, approaching his dear friend and wrapping his arm around Jisung’s neck.

“Try harder dude,” Hyunjin said, taking the drink away from Jisung’s hand before taking a sip.

“She’ll say yes eventually,” Jisung said, looking at you serving a table a few meters away. You caught him staring again and rolled your eyes in response.

“Just make sure she will,” Minho winked.

“She will. And Hyunjin, that’s my drink,” Jisung hissed at the tall boy when he realized his Martini was stolen.

“What? I’ll pay for it,” Hyunjin defended.

“Y/n! Can you take out the trash please?” The senior barista said, earning their attention, Hyunjin nudged Jisung as Minho kept watching your move. After going back to serving a few customers their drinks, you headed back to the staff’s room to execute the request. Jisung immediately got the message and went straight to the back door, surprising you the moment you threw the trash into the bins.

“Hey,” He said.

“Whatever it is, I’m not interested,” You said, trying to get back inside.

“Y/n, just hear me once, okay? I like you,” He said, blocking your way in. A sigh escaped your lips, crossing your arms on your chest while watching him.

“What?” You asked.

“I’m sure you heard me,” He said. “I’m asking you out,”

“Jisung, I,” You sighed. “Look, a single sip from a Martini won’t make you drunk enough to come up to me and just confess right away. And I can’t go out with you especially when I don’t have feelings for you,” You said, making him frown.

“But we kissed,” He pursued, which made you so red.

“That doesn’t count,” You defended. “It was a mistake and I was so drunk,”

“I don’t care about that Y/n,” He said. “Just give me a month,” He added as you stared at him for a few seconds.

“No,” You retorted, pushing him out of the way and going back to the bar. Jisung sighed harshly and ruffled his hair, it’s going to be a long way to make you say yes.

He followed you back inside and grabbed a drink, joining Hyunjin and Minho at their table, already tipsy. Jisung sat down, crossing his legs and an arm extended on the backrest of their couch. The drink is filled with ice, but the stare you gave him was burning with disgust. He could only shrug and give you a sly smile because you know he will never let you go that easy. Minho and Hyunjin exchanged looks一the older boy suddenly shoved tissues in Hyunjin’s mouth out of nowhere. It was so random that Jisung failed to notice.

Your rounds kept going, with endless orders and requests, the music was too loud and out of your taste. If it wasn’t for your uncle’s request to make you work in such a place, you wouldn’t be staying up all night during the weekends. But you can’t deny that the pay is good enough to spend on your needs and wants, especially when he gives you special treatment because you are indeed his niece. You want to make him proud for taking you in, and you tried to stay out of trouble each night of your shift, but sometimes, something happens eventually. Like the boy who can’t stop watching you.

Han Jisung.

You’ve known him since freshman year but you rarely talk because of his different circle of friends. He might be a colleague but never a friend一one of the best students in the music department, one that you tend to avoid. You shared a few classes with him before, and now that you’re one of the seniors now—you’re stuck with him for having the same majors. Ignoring him will be the best, but that’s what you thought. He’s not the type to give up on you easily.

Hours passed by, and Hyunjin and Minho passed out on the couch while everyone left, Jisung tried to be as sane and formal as possible—although he laid a few bottles empty on the table. Chan nudged at your shoulder, pouting his lips towards the godforsaken people at table number eight. He sighed in disappointment as he wiped the glasses he washed a few minutes ago. You craned your neck to check, only to find out Jisung was already drowsy and useless like the other two. Too much of a single drink, eh? You shake your head and go back to Chan.

“You need to drive them home,” You told him.

“I know,” He sighed. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah,” You replied. “I need to get that idiot home,” You added, pointing at Jisung.

“Right, I’ll finish these up then we’ll go,” Chan giggled. “Those punks are useless right now,” Giving Chan a small smile, you finished cleaning the table and went to the staff’s room to change, leaving the old boy to figure out what to do with his friends. Poor Chan had to assist Minho first while you took care of Hyunjin, heading to Jisung’s car. They were piled up on the backseat and saved the best for the owner. He was still conscious when you and Chan dragged him away. Gibberish lyrics came out of his mouth, singing a familiar song—loud and out of tune. He smells exactly what he consumed.

“Stupid,” Chan laughed.

Morning arrived and you heard a knock on your door after passing out on the couch the moment you were done with everyone. You didn’t even notice Chan leaving at 6 am as you were both exhausted一the guys were heavy for 2 people to assist and a loud one to deal with. You never felt so tired ever since you started your job, maybe it was the first time you saw the club so packed and a lot of customers wanted to be served first. It felt like you’d been flying from left to right.

Dragging yourself up at 10 am is already tiring. You are already considering quitting having the lack of sleep on the weekends, even the school does the same to you—nothing spares such a busy person. Grabbing the doorknob, you inspected the person through the small hole in your door. It was Jisung who looked like he was just woken up. A sigh escaped your lips and opened it. Fixing yourself didn’t matter anymore, anyway. You stared at him for a while, disheveled hair, crumpled clothes, bloodshot eyes, and wearing socks without shoes—this boy is a mess.

“Good morning?” You greeted him as he started fidgeting his fingers.

“Ah, yes good morning,” He said, still having that alcohol scent.

“What do you want?” You asked with a stern look, asking him to hurry.

“I wanted to say thank you to you and Chan hyung,” He said. “This is about what happened a few hours ago, I still have a headache right now but, I need to see you first,” He smiled.

“Okay?” You said.

“Yeah,” He answered, rubbing his nape. “Y/n, I’m sorry about last night, but, I also wanted to say that I’m persistent when it comes to the things that I like.” He said. “And by that, what I mean is, I won’t give up until you say yes,”

“Jisung, you heard me last night and my answer is No,” You said. “There are a lot of people out there, think about it, okay? And take a rest,” You smiled.

“Y/n, I like you! I swear.” He said.

“Have a nice day, Han.” You responded and closed the door in his face, leaving the poor boy dumbfounded.

Jisung sighed and started to space out, his body is not even healed yet from too much consumption of alcohol. He started at nothing for a while before he could get back to reality and scratched his head, moving back to his apartment. His two attempts to get you to say yes, failed. But just like what you observed about him, he is not the type to give up on something he wants so easily. And things will turn into something more interesting than ‘just talking’.

The night fell, and another shift will come to occur. School is not the only one fucking you up. Chan welcomed you with a big smile on his face. The club usually opens at 8 pm on the weekdays but starting on Friday nights to Sunday go to by 9 instead. He was busy setting up the chairs and mopping the floor while you checked on the menu. Other employees started to gather as well and the bouncers prepared for the opening. Scenarios of the club are always the same, the customers may be different people each night, yet it is always the loud music and screams of people. Swearing, drinking, kissing, and laughing, they go all over the place. People are becoming wilder every minute—it doesn’t surprise you anymore.

But surprisingly, Jisung showed up in the same place where you got him a drink.

“You’re still up for another hangover?” You asked, leaning against the counter. “What can I get you?”

Jisung just chuckled and shook his head, “I’m not drinking tonight,”

“Are you sure? What are you doing here then?”

“I’ll wait for you until your shift is done,” He said, making you look confused. “I’ll be less trouble tonight Y/n, I promise, just let me stay here,”

“You’re up to something, are you?” You said.

“If your answer is still No, I’m not going to stop just like that,” He smirked.

“Suit yourself, Han,” You scoffed and went to make a drink. Jisung just smiled at the end, maybe this bet will make him get closer to you after all. He watched the area filled with the intoxicating scent of alcohol and cigarettes—he wasn’t amused, nor his type. But the fact that you are working here, staying is worth it. He was immersed in everything even with the blinding lights and the singer up on stage, it was an interesting love song to sing in a club. “Sparkling Cucumber Mint Lemonade,”

“I didn’t order anything,” Jisung said, snapping back in your direction.

“It’s on me this time, I won’t charge you like last night,” You smiled, hugging the tray. “Don’t worry it’s not alcoholic,”

“Thanks,” He said, taking a good sip of a free drink. “This is good,”

“I know right? Enjoy your stay, I need to get to work,” You said. “Are you sure you will wait for me?”

“Yeah, my band is on break and there’s no work for me to be done so don’t mind me,” He smiled, taking another sip of it.

“Okay,”

The night flew by, customers slowly faded through the door leaving all their energy at the place, Jisung fell asleep on the counter as Chan kept an eye on him. You just got out of the staff’s room after changing clothes and are now being left with a sleeping Han Jisung. Chan smiled at you, motioning to take care of him while he closed the club—Jisung had already passed out and you were anxious to wake him up.

“Just try to shake him gently,” Chan said, and so you did.

“Han?” You called.

“Hmm?” He hummed in response, sitting up as he rubbed his eyes. “What time is it?”

“4 am,” You answered as he sighed heavily.

“Do you want me to drive you home? It’s so late,” Jisung said, looking at you. “Let me take you and Chan hyung,”

“No, no, don’t worry about me, I have my motorbike outside,” Chan said. “Just take Y/n home, I’ll leave in a bit,”

“Okay, be careful on your way, yeah?” You told him.

“Yep, and you too,”

Jisung walked out of the club first as you followed him, hands shoved into his pockets while you tightened your grip on the straps of your bag. You can’t deny saying it is kind of sweet to have him waiting for you all night but the thought of pursuing you for a bit doesn’t sit right with you. It’s rare to have someone waiting for you for hours, Chan is an exception for he is a good friend of yours—but nothing like Jisung. You feel bad about it.

He opened the door for you to enter and you bowed lightly with a small Thank you before getting in. You watched him close the door and jogged his way around the car to settle on the driver’s seat, driving away in silence.

“Care to tell me what’s this all about?” You asked him.

“As I said I’m not giving up that easily until I get you to say Yes,” He said, eyes focused on the road.

“I know,” You scoffed and had the atmosphere go quiet for a while. You were still in deep thought about what happened between you and Jisung the other night and never had the chance to apologize properly for it. Seungmin already gave the details for he had witnessed everything.

And that’s when you remembered,

The music was loud and Seungmin just sat there at your table, watching you get wasted. Mist wasn’t the one singing on the stage that night. Hyunjin and Minho went home, Chan went to help at the counter and Jeongin rested beside Seungmin. Felix and Changbin weren't there. You were chugging the Bacardi at a fast pace while enjoying the music, shouting the lyrics of the band’s cover of Day 1. Jisung decided to get a drink at the counter and planned to stand by for a few minutes before going home but Chan gossiped about Seungmin’s presence with you. He had to disregard Seungmin and Jeongin, talking on the couch as his attention was directed to you, he was amused.

Acknowledging that his glass was already empty and he placed it back on the top of the marbled counter as his feet dragged him to you. Hyunjin didn’t mind the crowd of people getting in his way, the loud music was banging his ears and the flash of lights was a pain.

“You’ll always be my day one~ Day zero when I was no one~”

You got dizzy after a few glasses of that horrid drink and mindlessly took your phone out from your bag and typed Hanbin’s number. A group of numbers that you will always remember even if you get drunk. Your phone pressed your ear, waiting for him to pick up, Seungmin was already alerted to your actions but he wasn’t aware of who it was. Jeongin suddenly fell asleep after the exhaustion from partying and shared a few words with the older boy but still ended up passing out. Seungmin raised a brow as he sat steadily on his seat, halting himself from drinking another glass.

“Hello?” Asked the one on the phone. You could barely hear it and decided to put it on loudspeaker.

“Ya, are you crazy?” You exclaimed. “How dare you cheat on me with that cheapass ugly bitch?” Seungmin sat there frozen. “Am I not enough? Am I not enough to give you everyー”

“Y/n stop that!” Seungmin said.

“Shut up, asshole,” You said, unconscious of the words coming out of your mouth. “Take me back!” You cried. Hanbin fell in silence as he listened to your sobs in between the loud music.

“Y/n! I swear,” Seungmin said standing up from his seat as he placed his glass on the table loud enough for Hanbin to pass the phone to his new one.

“Why did you cheat on me? We can work things out, Hanbin!” You said, not paying attention to your best friend who is now fucking frustrated. Jisung suddenly snatched your phone away, making you so mad, and yelled at him. He looked at the caller ID and smirked, passing it to Seungmin. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“Piss off!” You heard Seungmin answer the phone.

“Give it back!” You exclaimed as Jisung grabbed your arm, pulling you towards him.

“Stop it, Y/n, you’re drunk,” He said.

“Who the fuck are you?! Let me go!” You yelled at him but instead of calming you down, his lips suddenly landed on yours.

Seungmin almost dropped your phone after he ended the call when he saw how smooth Jisung was. It made you stop babbling nonsense and finally melted into the kiss. He tasted the shitty drink inside your mouth but it didn’t stop him. His arm wrapped around your waist with your hands around his neck. Maybe you deserve it after the heartbreak though. You couldn’t identify what kind of drink painted his lips so sweetly as it collided with yours. His lips were soft as he kisses you gently. Seungmin’s jaw dropped and only a click away to inform your mother who’s living in the countryside. It wasn’t a chaste kiss but rather wild when you felt his tongue enter your mouth. You licked his tongue slowly sucking it before molding your lips with his, then suddenly, everything disappeared from that moment. It wasn’t the first time you ever kissed someone but Jisung’s lips felt different.

Your knees felt weak when he pulled you closer and deepened the kiss. His hand reached for your cheek, with a hint of nibbling at biting your lips. He may have gone excessively when he heard you whine under him which made him more eager. It wasn’t part of the plan to kiss you just to stop you from begging Hanbin and saying nonsense but it is the best way, for him, at least. The kiss got so overwhelming that Jisung felt your hands coming off his neck and suddenly passed out. Good thing you were inside his arms that he caught you right away. Seungmin almost died from shock but he didn’t help you either way. A smirk formed on Jisung’s lips as he carried you in bridal style.

“You should go,” He said.

“We will. Take care of Jeongin, he’s knocked out,” Seungmin answered. “Give me Y/n,”

He kissed you. Yes, he is persistent and faithful when it comes to the things he likes. He already gave proof of that. A sigh escaped from your lips and at the same time, you felt the redness of your cheeks. It was so hot that you started to fan yourself with your hand. You didn’t know why it suddenly felt better after suffering from that stupid breakup. It’s been three months now and you were so stupid to do such a thing.

And because of thinking too much, you didn’t even realize that you and Jisung were already in the parking lot of your apartment building.

“Y/n, we’re here—,”

“Damn, it was you?” You asked in disbelief. “You kissed me!”

“I did, so what?” Jisung laughed. “You want another one?” It was good if you are being honest with yourself.

“No!” You exclaimed as Jisung ran his fingers through his hair.

“Fine,” He scoffed. “But you’re going to give in if I do it either way,”

“You’re so full of yourself, Han,” You retorted.

“It’s me we’re talking about,” He said, cutting you off. “I’m not going to apologize for that. And I think you’re more worried about me than your ex huh?” He smirked.

“It was embarrassing and he was a douchebag, I care about my reputation more. And I’m sorry for acting stupid,” You sighed as you heard him laugh. “What’s funny?”

“Nothing, I am not expecting an apology from you Y/n, I thought you can do more than that,” He said.

“What do you mean?” You asked, confused.

“I already told you a few times that I like you and I admit I was disappointed that you had to fall and hit your head,” He scoffed. “Do I have to repeat it myself? I like you, and that fucking kiss wasn’t enough for me,”

“I think you’re speaking bullshit right now,” You said but before you could say anything further, you felt his lips crash onto yours. He said he’ll be less trouble tonight, but why are you wrapping your arms around his neck to respond to his kiss? Jisung is amazing but at the same time a jerk who kisses a person without permission. But on second thought, maybe you deserve to experience that once or maybe more than once.

His lips collided with yours, and both your eyes were closed, tasting the mint gum you had earlier and the hint of the Sparkling Cucumber Mint Lemonade you gave him. You felt his hand wrapped around your waist to pull you closer to him as his other hand rested on your nape. The kiss was softer this time, as your heart started to go crazy and suddenly made you feel weak in the knees. His lips were warm and soft as ever as he kissed you gently. You could feel his tongue pressed between your parted lips giving that soft ticklish licks but you had to snap out of it.

You pushed Jisung back to his seat as he licked his lips in annoyance, as to why. He ran his fingers through his hair and avoided your gaze as you stared at nowhere, unable to speak. You didn’t even say good night and left his car, leaving Jisung frustrated.

“Goddammit,” He hissed.

Jisung didn’t show up the next night but you find yourself, hoping for him to appear in front of you. It has been two days of pursuing you but it feels empty without him around. Chan noticed the energy you have but didn’t bother to spill it when you are busy with work. The night flew by in a blink of an eye either, a lot of customers were satisfied and made you distracted all night. You admit it was tiring that there were no energy boosters for you, Jisung isn’t even around. And you know exactly the reason why.

He kissed you, again.

You hate the fact that even if your reason was because of that break-up you had with Hanbin three months ago, you can’t blame the situation for being this stupid again. Jisung is persistent, you know that but opening up again made you hesitant. You’ve got nothing to offer in exchange for his feelings for you and Seungmin is nowhere to be found when you need advice. Meanwhile, you found yourself sitting across the counter instead of serving tables, other waiters were up for it, except you who just wanted to rest and listen to that dreadful love song the singer was singing. Chan also took a break from handling the cashier and sat beside you, enduring the exhaustion of work on the weekends.

“We might need a new singer,” He said. “I heard he’s quitting tonight. Do you know someone?”

“I don’t,” You answered.

“Sort of, but you’re a music major right? Maybe one of your classmates wanted a job or something, it’s just for the weekends anyway,” Chan shrugged.

“I’ll try to get someone that suits this type of vibe,” You reassured. “But don’t expect that someone will show up in a week, did you tell Uncle?”

“Yeah, he knows,” Chan said.

“Then I’ll start looking then,” You chuckled at him and went back to watching the singer’s last performance on the club’s stage.

And just like the other nights, Tuesday night passed by quickly and Wednesday morning came. The bright sunlight didn’t allow you to sleep on such a lovely morning—having not enough rest made you feel like a zombie during the whole day. Your classes will resume in the afternoon and you barely have time to rest. A sigh escaped your lips as you wore your shoes, indicating the moment of leaving your apartment. Jisung’s room was unusually quiet, with no instruments playing in the background nor hearing him singing his self-composed songs.

You never cared about it anyway.

Shrugging at the thought of it, you head to a cafe to have brunch with Seungmin. The boy was too focused on his laptop the moment you arrived and didn’t even notice your presence. Taking your usual order, you went back to his table and sat down across from him. His eyes were tired, his soul was exhausted, a coffee on his side and a half-eaten sandwich with it. He is a representation of the usual college student you see on campus during their hell week. But that also represents you.

“Good morning Y/n,” He said, still not taking his eyes from his laptop.

“Good morning, Seungmin,” You smiled. “Mind if I eat?”

“Not at all,” He replied. “I still need to finish my food as well,” He chuckled.

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked, munching on your favorite sandwich.

“Oh, I got here an hour early, I thought writing an essay in a café would help me finish it in no time,” He said, taking a sip of his iced americano. Seungmin drinks it like water. “Are you done with the homework?”

“Do you have to ask me that when I’m in my miserable state right now?” You asked.

“Well, I’m just really attentive so that you won’t miss anything.” He said. “Besides, we’re graduating this year,”

“I know,” You scoffed.

“How are things with you?” He asked, finally having his full attention to you.

“You know I was in distress these past few days because of what happened between me and Jisung,” You started. “And now he’s asking me out,” You added, looking at your coffee.

“I’m not surprised, he did mention he likes you,” He said so bluntly, making you look at him.

“So you knew?” You asked, making Seungmin shrug his shoulders.

“You’re probably the last person to know, Y/n,” He smirked. “Me and the rest of our friend group know. But I understand that you’re not really up for it since you and Jisung are not close enough to share intimate secrets with,” He chuckled.

“I hate you,” You scolded him.

“You don’t,” Seungmin replied, sipping his coffee.

“Damn,” You sighed in response as he watched you with a blunt expression written on his face.

“Anything else you want to tell me? Concerns?” He asked, munching his sandwich as you took a deep breath, making a sarcastic smile at him.

“Well, aside from Jisung, I have to ask you something,” You said.

“Spill,” He said, still munching that sandwich.

“Do you, perhaps, want to work at my Uncle’s club? The local singer resigned last night and we need a replacement to perform this weekend,” You said, making Seungmin stop eating.

“You want me?” He asked, closing his laptop while pointing at himself. “Y/n, I don’t think the vibe suits me, I’m more of a ballad type of person, you know?” He chuckled.

“But you’re a very good singer,” You whined.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I can,” He said politely. “Why don’t you ask Jisung, he loves trying different genres, I heard he’s into rock now.” Only a sigh escaped your lips as you took a bite of your food. “It’ll be a good advantage since he has a band, you know Mist right?”

“Yeah,” You said, pouting your lips. “But it’s kind of awkward between us right now,” You said.

“Because he likes you?” He asked as you gave him a nod. “Why don’t you give him a chance?”

“Let me think about it first,” You sighed.

Thinking about it led to a few hours later until you found yourself spacing out in a lecture. A hand supported your chin as your elbow rested on your desk—words from your professor just come in and out through your ears, nothing interesting to focus on. You shouldn’t be worrying too much when you have Chan who can fill up the position of the club’s singer. That man can make everyone swoon over him by singing one single line. But he is not up for it when you already asked a few times.

You didn’t notice the time passing by, it was only your professor who discussed things all over again. Things that you already know from the first year to your senior year. Seungmin took notes beside you and the rest were either spacing out or listening. But this class would end up making everyone whine about some project the professor just announced. Seungmin coughed in between distracting you from your train of thought. You hated working in pairs yet it was necessary to grab someone to lessen the burden. Seungmin disappeared from his seat and went to Jeongin. Your best friend ditched you, just like that.

“Nice, you don’t want to work with me?” You asked him when he just laughed in response, but you just rolled your eyes.

“I already planned to have Jeongin work with me,” He said. “You can ask Felix,” A sigh escaped your lips while rolling your eyes. The class ended a few minutes ago and only a few classmates of yours were left inside the classroom. You turned to Felix who was reading his notes before standing up and grabbing the opportunity to approach him.

“Hey, Felix, do you have a partner?” You asked as he smiled at you, rubbing his nape.

“Yeah, Changbin hyung was the first one to ask,” He said. “I’m sorry Y/n,” He added with that cute sheepish smile of his.

“It’s alright, there must be someone free,” You smiled at him.

“Ah, yes, Jisung doesn’t have a partner yet,” He said, making your smile drop, giving him a nod.

“Thanks,” You said and turned away seeing Jisung craning his neck, giving you his creepy smile (in a playful way) while wiggling his brows. “I guess you’re the option left?”

“That hurts,” He chuckled, standing up from his seat. “At least I get you to say yes on this one,”

“As if I had a choice,” You retorted. “When are we going to do this damn project?”

“Tonight, you know where my studio is right?” He asked as you nodded in response. “Good, I’ll meet you there at 7, sounds good to you?”

“Not a problem, Han,” You smiled.

“Great,” He smiled back.

Why is he acting as if nothing happened?

7 pm and you found yourself in the hallway of a building where Jisung’s studio was located. You looked at your phone’s screen to confirm the right address and saw the same number on a door. A few knocks were heard as Jisung put his mixtape on pause before jogging towards the entrance, unlocking it, and seeing you.

“I hope I’m not interrupting something?” You asked.

“Not at all, come in,” He said, opening the door wider as he stepped aside.

His studio is big enough for 5 people to fit in which probably explains why the rent is expensive. It was painted in black and white, different instruments were being displayed, and some were misplaced. Bass guitars and ordinary guitars, a mixer, and a synthesizer, a shelf of albums and stationeries being stacked on his desk, it was kind of messy. But he chose a good location where there’s a large window that you could see the whole city from. The room just needs a bit of cleaning.

“It’s kind of messy, I’m sorry,” He chuckled sheepishly. “You can sit on the couch first, I still need to polish something,”

“Sure,” You smiled.

“Did you have dinner?” He asked, taking his seat in front of his computer.

“Not yet, I just got out of the library before coming here,” You shrugged.

“Okay, we’ll just finish half of the project tonight and we’ll get dinner,” He paused. “If that’s okay with you?”

“Yeah, go ahead with your work, I can wait,” You said, taking a seat on the couch as he sighed in relief. Jisung went to work after that, leaving you looking around his studio. It was spacious as his mess was scattered around that you accidentally sat down on one of his cd players. There were earphones connected to it that made you sneak up to listen. You took a glance at him and saw his back facing you—taking the opportunity of it, you plugged the earphones on and played a song, not knowing it was all his.

The first song was rock, you heard Seungmin’s voice in the first part and was followed by his other friends. A summer-like vibe but in a rock genre. The lyrics were also good, even the rhythms and beat were fun to listen to. Notes were pretty high to sing but they ended things clear and clean. So much for having good singers in a group of friends. You wonder how Jisung made this beautiful art. Even the next song is ethereal, a love song solo of his, he can be cheesy at times. You started vibing with it as he was pretty occupied with his work. And that makes you wonder if Jisung can sing for the club this weekend.

You stopped listening and turned off the music without making the second song halfway finished and fell into deep thoughts. His voice is too good to ignore and his talent is superior. It’s rare to have someone listen to his songs unless it’s one of his guy friends. But you wanted his songs so bad, they were too good.

“Y/n, I’m done, shall we start?” Jisung asked as he spun his swivel chair around.

“Jisung,” You called.

“Yeah?” He asked back.

“Do you want to sing in the club? I mean, we don’t have a performer anymore so, if you want—”

“I don’t usually work with clubs unless I can perform as a guest,” He said cutting you off. “But if 5-STAR insists on hiring Mist, you should offer me something in return,” He smirked.

“Fine,” You scoffed. “Let’s go out,”

Jisung was caught off guard that he almost fell from his seat. It was a bold move of you but he likes it. You noticed how he tried to keep his cool but at the same time, you were nervous about the words that might come out as a response.

“How much are they going to pay Mist?” He asked with his chin resting at the back of his palm. You knew the deal was on.

“Pretty decent depends on how good—”

“We’re good, babe,” He smirked. “And I am way better than the word, good,”

Another weekend came and Jisung locked himself inside his room as you waited for him outside. Leaning beside the door frame, you were getting impatient with his wardrobe dilemma for his first night. Your Uncle has been told about him by Chan, the boy got too excited and nervous at the same time. Performing in front of people tonight was not the first time, but since there was money at the end of it, he didn’t want to disappoint. You, on the other hand, had to comfort his nervous ass for he has been picking up something decent to wear.

“Han, are you almost done? You only have to perform 3 songs, that’s it,” You whined outside.

“One moment, I’m still undecided about the top,” He said, making you sigh in frustration. You were getting late. “Should I go with a T-shirt or a tank top?”

“Tank tops would look great,” You said, sighing at the time.

“Thanks, be right there in a sec,” Seconds turned into minutes until he came out after almost half an hour. You gave up waiting for him by the door and went to lie on the couch. “I’m done! What do you think?” You heard him say as you sat down and examined his look.

Slicked back brown hair, a black tank top, skinny jeans, and a pair of boot shoes, everything in black. You gulped at the sight of him. He’s never been so handsome in your eyes, his fashion sense is superior to the fact that he looks like a rockstar tonight, only a bass guitar is something that he’s missing. He noticed your dumbfounded expression—one thing that boosted his confidence to perform. A smirk formed on his lips as he snapped his fingers in front of your face to bring you back to reality.

“I’m too handsome, yes I know, no need to tell me,” He said fixing his hair and winked.

“You wish,” You scoffed.

“Oh come on, I’m hot, and you know it, right?” He teased as you exited his apartment. “Hey hey! Wait up!” Jisung laughed, grabbing his jacket. You can't help but laugh at his cuteness when he was catching up. Chan prepared the stage for Jisung the moment you arrived, the latter followed you to the staff’s room to rehearse for a short while. You noticed how nervous he was that you had to hold his hand to ease him down. Jisung smiled at you as he intertwined his fingers with yours. His hands were cold and shaky—one that made you worry and patted his back.

“You will do good, alright?” You said as he nodded desperately.

“Can you give me a hug before I go?” He asked until a pair of arms wrapped around his neck and pulled you closer. “Thank you,”

He walked up to the stage introducing himself and how he got the job as a replacement. It made you embarrassed when he dedicated the song to you and everyone was cheering for your so-called relationship. Chan laughed, he looked so happy that Jisung was finally up there and enjoying the night while you stood beside him, mouth open wide. You knew Jisung sings well and you saw him sing in front of the class a few times, but not this type of vibe, not with instruments and background music. Seungmin and the rest of his friends witnessed how badass he is when it comes to music, but none of those shows met your eyes.

He started to pull off the stage by singing Meddle About by Chase Atlantic. His lips moved as if he were making out with the microphone, and his fingers played with the strings as his voice resounded throughout the crowded room. Minho and Hyunjin supported him with the music and started banging the night. He was holding the mic with both of his hands as he sang his heart out. The veins on his neck become visible as he sings. It made him more natural and attractive. He jammed with the instrumentals in between the chorus and mouthed the adlib while he stared in your direction. His fingers strummed the electric guitar and a hint of crimson red showed up on your cheeks as you felt the heat coming with it. The loud beating of your heart and the adrenaline rush made you feel dizzy. You never saw this side of Jisung before, though you weren’t that close for the past few years, he is one fucking ace. And Chan is very proud now and then.

The audience was too focused on the handsome young man performing on stage. The second song was his song, the one you heard on his cd player (Mixtape: Time Out), a rock summer vibe—a fresh song that comes with rap and drums; his vocals are too good to handle both singing and rapping. Everyone was cheering for him, the audience was jumping as they vibe with the song. He was also good at hyping them up and pointing to anyone who matches his energy. Yet his eyes would seek yours, it was something he is happy and thankful about. His heart never felt so giddy and fortunate when you are the reason why he is enjoying his time at the moment.

Jisung kept running and walking around the small stage, sweat dripping from his forehead that made his brown locks soaked. His slicked-back hair becomes messy but he is still gorgeous. Chan noticed how you looked at him and nudged your arm, motioning his lips as if he was teasing you. Even Felix and Changbin were there, dancing like a married couple in front of the stage. And it lasted until his third and last song for the night. You listened closely and watched him as he sat down to sing a soothing melody after the hardcore ones. The sudden change of genre made you feel like falling in love. You love music all your life and you meet a lot of people who share the same interests as you but not like Jisung who took everything in one night. His friends and even Chan love to do the same as him but you see him differently.

It is the way how calm he was—the spotlight was on him that made his visuals more appealing. The sweat ran down from his forehead to his ripped arms when he took off his jacket, his eyes filled with sincerity, and his voice blended with song. You couldn’t understand why your heart is acting up like you are about to fall for him. And it will get worse in the next few weeks as you expected. A small smile formed on your face when he ended the song and locked eyes with you. Jisung was satisfied as you fell into worry on the other hand. Who knows what will happen if he finds out that you fell in love in just one night with three songs?

The night flew by and Jisung was given tips and compliments. He earned good money on his first night and he never stopped talking about it even when he was driving you both home. You congratulated him for being amazing on stage and he was really happy with it. Jisung never forgot to say thank you and made a breakthrough because of you. He never thought that this deal would lead to something beautiful for him.

“Do you want to have a drink?” He asked as you walked side by side towards his apartment.

“It’s 4 am, you need to rest,” You insisted as he let out a soft chuckle.

“It’s Saturday morning though? What could go wrong?” He asked.

“Fine, I’ll tolerate it,” You smiled at him as you offered your hand. Jisung immediately took it and pulled you inside his apartment. It was a signal but Jisung doesn’t want to do anything unless you want something.

He got busy grabbing two glasses and a bottle of champagne that Hyunjin bought him the other week. You were waiting for him on the couch, wandering your eyes around. It’s not like it was your first time to be inside Jisung’s apartment, but it never fails to amaze you. His instruments were displayed neatly but on the other side of the room is a complete mess. He wasn’t expecting any guests anyway. But the fact that he wanted to celebrate this night with you after their very first performance as part of 5-STAR, Jisung is up for it. Both Hyunjin and Minho refused to stay up late because of the exhaustion, leaving you and Jisung together, in his very own place.

“I hope you like champagne?” He asked, placing them on the coffee table.

“Of course,” You answered.

“To us?” He said, raising his glass.

“To you and Mist,” You smiled, raising your glass as well before making cheers with him.

“Since when did you learn how to play?” You asked, eyes still darted on him while you drink.

“Since I was 12, I guess?” He chuckled, holding his glass as he sat down beside you. “My dad taught me.”

“No wonder why you were so good,” You said. “Minho and Hyunjin too,”

“Thanks,” He said with a soft chuckle. “The guys are also natural at playing it,”

“And you know what I think about you?” You said which made him hooked in the conversation while drinking. “I think you are so hot and beautiful while performing,”

“You’re falling for me already?” Jisung smirked as you looked into his eyes.

“Maybe,” You said. “And I’m sane right now,” Still not breaking eye contact.

“And can I do something about it?” He asked, placing his glass on the table.

“No,” You said. “Maybe?”

“Stop with the Maybes, Y/n,” He giggled. “What do you want?” He asked.

“You.”

You felt his lips on yours for the third time now. The taste of champagne lingers as you respond. Arms around his neck as he pulled you closer to him. As he deepened the kiss, he placed a hand on your nape and carefully stroked the side of your cheek. He could taste the champagne through the hint of your cherry-flavored lip gloss as your lips curved against one another. You could feel his grin between kisses, you began playing with his hair which caused him to bite your upper lip and sucked it before he could kiss you deeply again.

Nobody had ever made you feel this way. Even if you remembered how your ex kissed you, it’s nothing compared to how Jisung does it. Heavy breaths were shared but none of you dared to stop. The sound of kisses, his soft lips, and your eagerness of it wanted more. He lifted you to make you sit on his lap and it surprised you for a moment but couldn’t mind it at all. You were lost and it made his heart pound. His tongue brushed across yours as you stopped and met his gaze after feeling his hand caressing your thigh. Cheeks began to flush.

“What?” He asked.

“I’m sane,” You said.

“Darling, it’s just you and me,” He replied. “What’s stopping you?” He asked, running his fingers through your hair.

“Nothing,” You said. “It’s just,”

Jisung didn’t even wait for you to finish and just started to kiss you again. Hands on your cheeks as you leaned closer to hug him, continuing the kiss. It was soft and gentle, there was a spark in between. The lights flicker as the bubbles of the ignore champagne glasses evaporated to the surface. Jisung knew he likes you so much but going back to the question, what was stopping you? The question was vague but it will hit his ego if you answered that. You admit you were a bit hesitant to open up a new relationship after the heartbreak, but this is Jisung now.

His back settled on the backrest of his couch as you leaned forward as his hands ran down rubbing his hands gently against your curves, squeezing them. A hint message that he likes it and you couldn’t agree more. The sounds of your smacking lips made Jisung hum in response. Your fingers played with his brown locks as you smiled in between the kiss.

“Should we make it real?” He asked giving you a peck on the lips.

“Do they know?” You asked.

“Not yet,” He chuckled. “We can tell them later,”

“Okay,” You said quietly as your lips met again. His kisses have gotten more intense. He held your back to lay you on the soft couch as he hovered above you, taking off his tank top. The excitement rose when you saw how built his body was then he proceeded to have his lips meddle with yours. Fast heartbeats, eyes were shut to completely enjoy the moment, as the sounds of your lips smacking against one another in response to the tension—the kiss was heating up.

Jisung felt your hands undoing his belt, the clanking of the hard material aroused when it hit the marble floor. He, then, starts undressing you leaving only your underwear.

“You’re not shy are you?” He said.

“It wasn’t the first time I made out with you,” You smirked meeting his lips again. Jisung put his thumb in between your lips as you kiss them gently, feeling his kisses on your neck. You hummed in response to his touch, you had to look the other way to provide him more access. You felt his teeth bite your soft skin and started nipping, intoxicated by the smell of your long-lasting perfume. “Hmmm,” You moaned.

His kisses made their way down to your chest, in the valley of your covered tits as it goes down to your stomach which made you feel butterflies.

“You’re so pretty,” He said. “But that’s not the only reason why I like you. May I?”

You knew you want it too and didn’t even hesitate to permit him to take them off and go ahead. It was driving you crazy when you felt his lips kissing your thigh with his eyes staring at your wetness, he cooed at how pretty his view was that his tongue reached the opening making you mewl in return.

“We were just kissing Y/n,” He smirked, spreading your legs wider so he could bury his face in your dripping cunt, devouring it with his mouth.

“Fuck!” You hissed under your breath. Jisung’s hands tightened their grip on your thighs, squeezing them every time he hears you moan as your breath gets heavier by the time his tongue played with it. You grabbed his hand, interlocking your fingers together while feeling how good his mouth was. “It’s hot,”

But he didn’t stop there. You taste good, he loves it. He had his two fingers inside you as he slipped his tongue along with it. His fingers began to move quickly, receiving a delightful yet sinful sound from you. And as your lips gaped, you started humping on his fingers. That was it, your body was hot and started to move on its own.

“Stay still, angel,” He said upon having his fingers get on a fast pace just to hear more of those sinful sounds coming out of your mouth. He didn’t stop, he doesn’t want to. Your hand reached his brown locks, dragging him up close to your pussy to feel more of it. But Jisung stopped so suddenly that it made you whine in return.

“Why did you stop?” You asked.

Jisung didn’t say anything, the next you knew you were being pulled to sit on his lap and grind on his clothed erection. His lips met yours again, but your hands were busy pulling down his pants, along with his black boxers. You gasped the moment he let himself buried inside you, slowly and gently just to start the night. He captured your lips again, not wanting to break the kiss as his hands were on your waist, hugging you closer while you were humping him. Your arms wrapped around his neck and went faster making him moan in between your kisses. His fingers reached for the hook of your bra, took it away, and tossed it somewhere in the living room. You didn’t stop there as you keep on riding his cock. It felt so good.

“Faster baby,” He breathed, massaging your breasts and pinching your sensitive buds. Playing and pinching them made it even worse, eyes rolled back as you held his shoulders tightly. It sent shivers down your spine as you continued humping him. You could feel how hard he is inside you. The only sounds you could hear were your heavy breaths and Jisung’s moans underneath. He liked the idea of you riding him and his sounds were loud and clear when you started to go up and down as fast as you could. “Fuck, you’re so hot,” He hissed, biting and nipping your tits while massaging and squeezing the other one.

“Baby,” You gasped, as his other free hand started caressing your body while you pull him closer to your chest. It made you arch your back as a response, and by this, he was given more access to have his mouth sucking your hard nipples. It was hot, his tongue won’t stop playing with it. Your head falls back, grinding him as his cock goes beyond his limits.

“Fuck,” He cursed again as he went to your untouched boob.

“Han,” You breathed. “I’m coming,”

“Just let it out baby,” He said, thrusting his cock even faster. You bit your lower lip in response and come while Jisung was still going at his fast pace. He felt how hot it was, and before he could even come, he laid you down on the couch and pulled away making his cream spread across your stomach. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” You said in between your breath.

“Do you want to wash up?” He asked again, fixing your hair.

“A little later,” You smiled. “Hug me,”

“Of course, love,” He said as he gave you a peck on the lips before pressing his body over you. A pair of arms wrapped around your back with your head on his chest as you hugged him tightly. This night has been exciting and tiring, and all he needs is to cuddle with you to end it. “Rest,” He added, kissing the side of your head.

It was unexpected, but being with him is all good now and the remaining problem now is how are you going to announce that you’re already official?

Exactly a week passed by, and Jisung would never leave the floor without you. He would be on your couch when you’re in a hurry to get to school or work. It was decided that he’d only perform with Mist every weekend so he could get some free time with you after class. Chan immediately got the idea that you two are finally going out but at the same time, Jisung didn’t spill the beans yet to his other friends.

“So you two are dating now?” Seungmin asked as you make your way to your workplace.

“Yeah,” You smiled widely.

“Let me guess, you two had sex?” Seungmin asked again, looking at you in disbelief as you rolled your eyes. “Well, well, well, aren’t you the one who cried over their ex two weeks ago?”

“Shut up Seungmin, you know how I feel about Jisung now,” You defended.

“Yeah, yeah, if it weren’t for that project we had, you wouldn’t be this close,” Seungmin answered, hands being shoved inside his pockets.

“Also, let me thank you for rejecting me as your partner,” You smirked.

“You’re welcome?” Seungmin chuckled. “Where’s Han? I thought we were going together?”

“He went to work early,” You sighed. “I don’t know, he sent me a text saying not to wait for him or something,”

Jisung went to the club earlier than usual the next Saturday night. He said he wanted to make his performance different compared to these past few nights. When you arrived an hour after him, the stage was already set up with Hyunjin and Minho. And that’s when the surprise started.

White smoke crept over the floor to welcome the band as purple, red, blue, orange, and yellow lights filled the stage. The lead singer took a position in front of the crowd and began singing his heart out. He was getting all the hype he deserves as Hyunjin and Minho went hard on playing their designated instruments while Jisung stood out well. He was wearing his gray blazer, tight black pants, and a white polo shirt inside with a black tie. His hair was curled as these brown locks fell on his cheeks. His hand took the microphone from the stand and continued to sing the song you’d never heard before.

Your heart started to beat faster like crazy. Blood rushed down your cheeks making it feel hot, the crowd made the room louder and the air conditioner you thought was not working well when in fact they are. It was just so hot that you couldn’t understand how you felt inside. And it only got worse when he took off his blazer, dropping it on the floor as he blurted out his self-composed lyrics while rolling up his sleeves to his elbows. He stopped for a few seconds only to pick up his electric guitar and started strumming it to the core. The instrumentals were crazy enough to make you feel dizzy and weak. As if he didn’t make you feel the same when you two had sex in his apartment.

But this is it, Han Jisung just crashed his way in.

“Hey! Hey! Hey!”

He was smirking all over the way, the feeling of cockiness took over his system as he had his tongue out just for the sake of rising confidence. It made you feel weak in the knees. He was looking at you and winked.

“Someone’s going get laid tonight,” Chan laughed.

“Oh, you bet,” Seungmin answered, giving the older one a high five.

“Shut up you two,” You hissed as you continued watching. Jisung stood behind his mic stand and sang the lyrics of his unreleased song. It was heartful, especially when he hit the high note at the end earning claps and screams from everyone.

“Felt like a concert,” Chan said.

“I told you he’s good,” Seungmin added.

You went backstage after his performance, he was preoccupied with saying his thanks to everyone, the same goes for Minho and Hyunjin who are covered in sweat for giving their all. The three of them did well, but there’s Jisung who stood out the most to you and after that, all three of them went down.

“That was so good!” You exclaimed.

“Thanks Y/n, thank you for hiring us,” Minho said.

“It was nothing,” You giggled. “You totally rocked it,”

“I’m shy now,” Hyunjin laughed.

“Own it guys, you were so good,” You said and that’s when you saw Jisung who just got down. “Hannie!” You squealed and went over to him for a hug. “I’m so proud of you!”

“Since when did they get so close?” Hyunjin asked.

“They’re going out,” Seungmin butted in.

“What?” Minho said.

“It’s not a surprise anymore so, accept the truth,” Chan added.

“Did you like it?” Jisung asked.

“Of course! Was that the song you were working on in your studio?”

“Yeah,” He laughed. “Definitely,”

“It was really good,” You smiled. “And I like your outfit today, your hair, wow, they’re very rockstar material,”

Later that moment you found yourself kissing him inside the dressing room as his hand went for the lock to make sure no one comes in. You felt his hand caressing your cheek not breaking the kiss before hitting your back on the wall. As soon as he pressed you against the wall, his lips became impatient. Your hands rushed to remove his jacket and started to loosen his tie while your lips stayed together throughout the passionate kiss.

“You’re quite eager are you?” He smirked in between, biting your lower lip before sucking it. His hand reached your ass, squeezing it making you giggle in return, and kissed him again. Jisung lifted your shirt revealing your black-laced bra, his kisses went down again from your neck to the valley of your breast, squeezing your boobs enough to make you moan. You watch him go down, dragging your shorts down along with your matching underwear. He got on his knees as he rested your leg on his shoulders, licking and sucking your wetness. You leaned closer against the wall as Jisung started eating you out. It wasn’t part of the plan, he gave his all tonight so he deserves it.

“Baby, fuck!” You hum in response as your mouth gaps and the burning sensation you felt when his tongue is pressed hard on your dripping cunt, licking and teasing it. You started grinding on his mouth making him smack your ass hard earning a sinful sound. Biting your lip, you can’t hold your sounds in, you know the people around love to eavesdrop when something like this happens.

Jisung loved how you taste, but eating your pussy doesn’t satisfy him that easily. He asked you to bend over the vanity table and watched every expression you make in the mirror when his cock slipped inside you as he started to fucked you from behind. His hand made a makeshift ponytail with your hair, thrusting his hips at a fast pace. Your hands held the table tightly, feeling every inch of his dick coming in and out of your hole. Sounds of screams and cries echoed throughout the room and you know how much it turned him on.

“You’re taking me so well, babe,” He said, leaning forward to kiss your neck as his hands cupped your boobs and squeezed them. He never stopped fucking you from that position. The feeling was immaculate. His lips met yours, devouring them as if he was hungry—his pace never went down and kept its speed. You moaned in his lips as he pinched your nipples making you reach your limits. You weren’t used to sex, and you know Jisung understands. But this time, you wanted it to last. The same goes for him and it is the second time after all.

He lifted your leg on the table and went harder. It made you break the sloppy make-out you shared. The feeling feels like there’s a fire in your body that burns every time Jisung touches you like this. It made you go insane when he slapped your ass.

“Ah! Fuck you,” You whined.

“Well, I am,” He smirked, biting your neck, nipping your skin, and leaving some marks.

“Han,” You gasped, mouth open as your legs started to quiver. “I’m coming,”

“Not yet baby,” You heard him say.

“Fuck, I can’t,” You whined.

“Where’s the fun if I’ll let you?” He smirked, biting your lip. “You’re hot, baby,” He added, hugging you from behind, but that doesn’t stop you from being out of breath and quivering. You turned around and met his lips, kissing him again. It was gentle this time, arms wrapped around his neck as he made you sit on the table. Your fingers played with his curly brown locks which made him smile in between your kisses.

He pushed himself inside you again and started his pace faster than usual. It was extreme, the tension between you two was hard to identify. No matter how hard he goes, it always feels good when his lips are on yours. You could feel every inch of him as he fucked you harder and faster. Nothing compares to this feeling when you were still with your dumb ex-boyfriend. Han Jisung is definitely wholesome.

Everyone is right about him, he’s dominant and it makes your body burn.

“You want to come?” He asked as you nodded desperately. “Say please,”

“Please?” You breathed in between your shared kiss.

“I’m almost there baby,” He groaned, burying his face on your neck in the same position. He felt your fingers dug up his skin, making traces of red lines that made him swear, stopping at the time when you couldn’t hold it anymore and came. “My dick is covered with your cum, babe,” He said, kissing your cheek and pulled away before he could come inside you.

“I hate you,” You said, smacking his chest playfully.

“That hurts my feelings,” He laughed. “Are you okay?” He asked, caressing your cheek.

“I’m fine,” You answered, giving him a peck on his lips. “You did well tonight. Shall we go home and take some rest?” You smiled, hugging him closer.

“Do I get cuddles?” He asked, giving you his puppy eyes.

“Of course baby, you deserve it,” You replied, giving him another kiss. “I love you, Han,”

“That’s the most precious thing I’ve ever heard tonight,” He said. “You know that I love you too, Y/n,” He smiled.

“I know,” You smiled.

“Let’s go home now,”

So this is what falling in love feels like, the one he thought that he needs to pass countless levels just to reach the top has come to an end. Jisung found you now, and it will change his perspective for quite a while.

Then there’s you, opening up again. It wasn’t easy at first, the long drive could end in burning flames or paradise and you were sure, it was paradise.

“Good night, Y/n,”

✰ tags — @lix-ables , @lilacjeongin , @alyszaen , @djeniryuu , @ppiri-bahng , @notastraykid , @skzfelixlove , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @ohish , @comet-falls , @mrswolfiechan , @rachabreathing , @iadorethemskz , @minluvly , @dreamingsmile , @flirtyskzbutterfly , @tangylemonade , @gwynsapphire , @annispamz , @surefornext , @seungincore , @skz1-4-3 , @zoe8stay , @seungly

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©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑.

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missmewts · 2 years

Text

truth or dare//the fruity four

pairings; steve harrington x reader, steve harrington x eddie munson, eddie munson x reader, nancy wheeler x reader, nancy wheeler x robin buckley, robin buckley x reader

rating; mature

warnings; language, HEAVY SMUT, absolute filth, group sex, dub con, slight choking, dom/sub dynamics, dom steve, dom reader, dom robin, sub nancy, sub eddie

DISCLAIMER: ALL CHARACTERS ARE 18+. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO MALE X ROBIN IN THIS FIC.

the whole thing started with a game of truth or dare. it was no one’s intention for it to happen, but it happened anyway. no one was really complaining. not even steve, when it was brought up how his fingers trailed eddie’s sides while their lips fought.

but as stated, it started with truth or dare. the rules for this particular game was simple; the first to back out of a dare or refused to answer a truth had to buy all four winners a milkshake.

“robin, truth or dare!” steve called, across robin’s bedroom. robin stood away from the circle formed on her floor, fiddling with the radio as she searched for the right mixtape. “truth.” she answered, kneeling infront of her nightstand.

“what’s your most embarrassing love story?” steve says, and robin spun back around.

“steve! you promised we wouldn’t talk about this again!” robin argued. steve grinned at her. “milkshake,” he taunted.

robin rolled her eyes. “im getting you back for this, butthead.” steve chuckled. “sure you are.”

you tilted your head back over the beanbag chair you were sitting in, looking back at robin. “you can tell us, rob.”

robin went back to searching her nightstand for her mixtape. “well, i went to this persons house and we were kissing and they were into it but i wasnt so i pulled away but they went for another one so i fell back onto their bed and they fell with me and they thought i wanted sex but i didnt so i said i needed to use their bathroom and i ran home and never called them again.” robin rambled quickly, taking a large gasp of breath once she was done.

no one seemed to be teasing her except for steve; eddie was busy rolling joints, nancy was sympathizing, and you were admiring her. it seemed that the outcome wasnt as embarrassing as robin expected, but she knew she would still get steve back.

the turn landed on robin, as she sat with her long, pale limbs held to her chest next to you. she smiled smugly at steve. she chose steve, obviously.

steve answered with dare, of course. steve had an ongoing record of only choosing dare, you noticed. “i dare you.. to makeout with eddie.”

there was an immediate reaction from both steve and eddie, eddie yelling his muffled frustration into his hands and steve pleading with robin. you chuckled, reaching your hand into the box of cheez-its and popping one in your mouth. “you said dare, steve! no backing out! remember, loser buys the winners milkshakes!” you remind him half-heartedly, tilting your head to the side to look at eddie. he covered his face with his hair, embarrassment coating his face as robin laughed.

“how long, though, is the question.” nancy suggested with a small smile. robin’s eyes lit up, as she looked back at steve. she looked down at her watch, before announcing. “i’m feeling generous. a minute.” steve threw his head into his hands.

you scoff. “knock it off, steve. just get it over with!” steve gave you a hearty glare, before getting to his feet. eddie stood up gingerly from next to you, his hair pulled back in a messy ponytail, thanks to nancy. he stood timidly; he obviously wasn’t very appreciative of being put in this position. but he hadn’t been picked in a little while because he had been busy rolling joints for everyone, so it seemed fair.

“ready?” robin offered, and steve muttered a, “fuck off”, before slamming his face against eddie’s. robin kept track on her watch, though it seemed, after fifteen seconds, eddie decided to return the favor. steve was still practically pushing him over, but he pressed back, and urged his mouth to move in synchronization. his nose was pressed flat against steve’s face. after thirty seconds, it seemed, steve got used to the feeling. with all the whooping and hollering from you, robin and nancy, he didn’t show it, but you noticed the way his hands navigating to eddie’s slim hips. after fourty five seconds, eddie did the same, holding onto steve’s forearms. and by the time they both decided to enjoy it, their time was up.

steve threw his hands up, a slight grimance on his face. he verbally noted how eddie tasted like weed, as he sat back down next to robin and nancy.

now steve’s turn, he decided to try and get robin back. so, he called nancy. nancy offered dare, like he knew she would.

“i dare you to makeout with robin, for one minute.”

eddie grinned, holding his hand up and leaning forward. steve lifted his hand, and slammed it against eddie’s, high fiving him. but, without hesitation, nancy stood up, as did robin. there wasn’t nearly as much complaining, as robin placed her hand on the shorter woman’s jaw, under her chin. steve gawked, as nancy allowed robin to connect their lips, tilting her head slightly as to not interfere with nancy’s nose. nancy’s hands rested on robin’s hips, and they made out.

steve was frustrated by the time the girls sat back down. “what the fuck, you guys.” robin grinned at him. “you guys were just being dramatic. it’s seriously not that bad. you know it!”

“oh, as if!” eddie objected.

but you weren’t paying attention to their conversation. you were paying attention to the way nancy was looking at you. she called your name, silencing steve, eddie and robin’s bickering. to follow up with the previous pattern, you offered up dare. and she smiled softly. “kiss me.”

you were on your feet in no time; nancy hadn’t even sat down from her round with robin. robin seemed to be picking up on where this game might be headed, you could tell, by the way she fell quiet, as eddie and steve begin bickering again.

the kiss was offered no time limit, but the two of you stook with the minute time limit.

the kiss felt heavenly. her lips were incredibly soft, thanks to her skin care routine. and her hair felt silky as it tickled your face in loose, ubiquitous curls. her chest pressed against you, the slight curve benath her clothes sending vibeations straight to your stomach, erupting in butterflies. your chest felt cold, as your heart beat against your ribs excitedly, begging for more. nancy lessened the pressure she put on your lips, and suddenly, it was over. the minute was up, although it felt like three seconds. you wanted to do it again. it seemed to be getting slightly awkward, as the others began to realize what was going on. no one was offering to end the game, and watch a movie like they planned on doing when the game was over. it was quieter, an awkward kind of quiet. you turned around, as nancy sat back down.

“eddie?”

his eyes studied you, wide and puppy-like. dark brown, and lined with a light layer of eyeliner. there were loose strands of hair from his ponytail, flying off his head in curly strands. “dare.” he said quietly.

you nod backward, motioning for him to stand in the spot nancy was in before. “i dare you to let me undress you.”

steve, being ever so clueless, finally picked up on what was going on. he eyed robin and nancy, but their eyes were glued on you and eddie, standing across from eachother between the three sitting on the floor. robin’s stereo crackled, as the radio changed to the next song in the mixtape’s que.

eddie let his arms hang loosely, looking down at his clothes. his face was completely flushed, his legs trembling slightly. there was no hooting or hollering this time. they were waiting to see if eddie backed out.

so, you started with his jean jacket. your fingers grasped the denim, slowly pulling the sleeveless jacket down his left arm. then, when the jacket dropped and hung behind him, you pulled the right side down slowly, taking it from him and folding it, before tossing it onto robin’s bed.

then, was the leather jacket. your fingers carefully undid the chains connecting the detached zipper, loosening the sleeves on eddie’s arms. your fingers reached up, sliding down the sides of his neck. he shied away from your touch, goosebumps rising on his skin. you removed his jacket and tossed it on the bed as well.

eddie refused to look at you, as your hand rested on his lower stomach, slowly pushing the white fabric of his hellfire shirt up his body. you watched his stomach tuck slightly against the cold air of robin’s bedroom, sucking air through his teeth quietly. when the shirt was rolled up and secured in the middle of his chest, you tugged on the sleeves, slipping his arms out. then, you pushed the fabric up over his head. while you folded his shirt, eddie rubbed his arms vigorously to get rid of the gooseflesh.

you could feel your stomach flutter at the sight, him completely and utterly humiliated. it made you want to laugh.

your fingers arrived at his belt, and he jolted. “wait.” he whispered, looking at you. you look at him, waiting for him to prepare himself. when he gives you the green light, you undo his belt with the telltale clacking. you toss the belt on the bed, before reaching down again.

eddie was clearly embarrassed. his face was entirely red. you were inches away, your fingers unbuttoning his black jeans. you unzipped them, pretending not to notice how hard he was. you tug the tight black denim down his legs. his boxers were black and red plaid, a large tent holding them up. it was very large. you couldn’t help but shiver, imagining how big it would be. eddie placed his hands on your shoulers, shakily lifting one of his legs for you to tug off his boots and the leg of his jeans. you repeated the action on the other leg, before tossing the jeans and his shoes on robin’s bed. you left his socks and boxers, grinning at him as you sat back down next to robin.

it was very quiet. no one was talking; but that meant no one was objecting. so the game continued. this time, with an added tension, now that eddie was stripped to his boxers in the middle of the circle. you noticed robin peering at her door, to make sure it was locked.

eddie held his hands infront of his crotch awkwardly, sitting back down. “steve, truth or dare.” he muttered, his face entirely red.

“dare.” steve said. you noticed that steve’s eyes drifted down eddie’s bare chest, eyeing the slight chub on his tummy as he hunched to hide.

“i dare you to strip.” eddie said. you chuckled under your breath, as robin rested her head on your shoulder. you peered over robin’s shoulder, watching nancy press her legs together. you grinned, resting your head atop robin’s.

steve got up without much of an argument; abnormal for steve.

he started with his shirt, grabbing opposite sides of the fabric hanging just above his hips and pulling it up over his head easily. you almost had the feeling that steve felt excited. your theory was confirmed, as steve tugged his jeans down his thighs. there was a series of laughs, breaking the quiet at the sight of steve’s tighty whities, pitched like a circus tent. not as big as the one you just came in contact with, you’ll admit. but definitely decent.

now that the laughs had ceased, the tension had been broken; the quiet was much more relaxed. no one seemed to be uncomfortable anymore. now, steve eyed nancy yet again. “nance?”

“dare.” nancy said immediately.

“i dare you to strip robin.” steve announced, as he lounged against the frame of robin’s bed.

and nancy was up in a second. robin eyed nancy, as she slowly got to her feet. you could see where robin’s worries laid; if she did this, would it suit her preferences? you knew these thoughts were pointless, no one would purposely make her uncomfortable. but, they were valid. and you were going to make it your mission to make sure robin wouldnt be uncomfortable.

so, robin stood infront of nancy. nancy’s delicate fingers slid robin’s heavy jacket off of her shoulders, tossing it somewhere; where, no one knew.

nancy’s fingers cupped robin’s cheeks, slowly sliding down her neck before grabbing the neckline of the shirt and pulling it out. “arms up.” she said softly, and robin obeyed immediately. nancy slid the neckline over robin’s face first, before reaching behind her to pull it over her hair. as nancy pulled it off her head, robin’s arms slid out of the sleeves and fell to her sides. the song on robin’s stereo changed again, this time to an infamous rick james song that sent eddie and steve into snickering at how ironic the timing was.

robin’s shirt came up over her head, and you caught nancy ogling. maybe she hadn’t expected robin to be busty, considering she was so lanky, and wore masculine clothes that often covered her chest. keeping in mind that robin’s boobs were proportional to the rest of her body, they were relatively big.

nancy adverted her eyes to the belt resting on robin’s hips. her fingers undid it slowly. you could see robin getting an ego boost at how she made nancy’s ego deflate. nancy’s fingers trembled, as she pulled the leather out of the first loop. then the second. you lost track then, because you were obsessed with the way robin’s light washed blue jeans slid down her hips, just slightly, and gave you a view of the top of her navy blue panties. you noticed that they didn’t match her nude colored bra, but you couldn’t care less.

it distracted nancy, too. nancy’s eyes trailed. she noticed how the panties were visible on robin’s hips, but not in the front. she also noticed how there was a slight treasure trail. her stomach fluttered, as she began to unbutton robin’s jeans.

it wasn’t necessary to unzip them; they were so baggy that they slipped right down robin’s long, gorgeous legs after nancy unbuttoned them. nancy allowed robin to hold her shoulders, as she stepped out of the denim. nancy picked them up, and tossed them with the rest of robin’s clothes. nancy sat back down quickly. robin looked back at nancy. “stand back up, honey.” and nancy was back om her feet. robin smiles, as she sits back in her spot. you cant help but watch her chest as she sits, the way her dogtag necklace dangles in the fleshy valley between her breasts.

“i dare you to strip, nance.”

steve puts his fingers in his mouth, and whistles. eddie reaches over and smacks steve on the shoulder. steve shoved him in return, a small smirk resting on his lips. you couldn’t help but notice how quiet the usual chatterboxes were being.

nancy’s teeshirt, a simple faded picture of the face of a tiger, a speech bubble emerging from his head stating, “Let’s Go Hawkins Tigers!”, was slipping off her body quickly. you could tell nancy was trying to get it done and over with. nancy’s chest was slightly flat; not busty, but definitely not just flat. just a little bit. she wasn’t very curvy, but you were still enamored with the sight, as she pushed her jeans off hurriedly. she had freckles on your shoulders, and wore a matching set of underwear, you noticed. a soft, lilac purple. it suited her.

nancy sat back down, smiling softly at you. “[y/n?]”

you rolled your eyes, standing up. “yeah, yeah.” you tugged your black shirt over your head. underneath, was a pair of black and white basketball shorts. you could feel eyes on you; who’s, you had no idea. but you didn’t mind. instead, you gave whoever was watching a show. bending at a 90 degree angle at your hip, you gave a perfect view right down your bra as you tugged your shorts down. and that was that. you sat back on the beanbag chair. when you sat back down, you realized that it had been everyone’s eyes on you. eddie and robin had a perfect view of your ass, nancy and steve got to look down your bra. you could see robin’s legs pressing together as she eyed the thong sitting on your hips.

now, everyone was stripped. it seemed like this was a milestone; the lot of you took a moment to just look at everyone. eddie’s black and red boxers that just barely tickled his knees. they almost looked like they could be shorts, that would be completely reasonable to wear out in public if it wasnt for the little slit along the front.

steve’s spongebob-esque tighty whities, that weren’t really a sight for sore eyes but left a big impression. almost as big as the tent in his undies.

nancy’s pastel purple underwear, lacy and cute. robin’s navy blue panties, that showed part of the pubic hair that graced her body, and her nude bra, which still had the tag from walmart on the back.

and your lacy black bra, matching with your black thong.

after a moment, you looked at eddie. “eds, truth or dare?”

“dare.” eddie said softly, enamored with the necklace sitting between your boobs. “i dare you to give steve a hickey.” and eddie was leaning over to steve next to him. this time, steve had no complaints. only slight surprise as eddie went in for his neck. steve’s hand rested on eddie’s upper back, tilting his head to the side for him. and after about 30 seconds or so, steve was left with w big purple bruise on his neck. eddie drew back, and looked around for a victim.

“robin.” he said. robin grinned. “dare.” she said, eddie eyed you, with a small smile. “take their panties off. with your teeth.”

robin’s eyes fell on you, navigating to your crotch as you spread your legs slightly. robin moved, crawling forward so you could place your left leg where she had been sitting; your right leg rested against eddie’s knee. she sat between your knees, her fingers trailing up your thighs. she watched gooseflesh pop up on your skin, smiling softly before leaning down.

you places your hand on her head, the other holding you up. her teeth hooked on the thin strap sitting above your hip. you gripped her hair tightly, as she slowly crawled backwards, sliding the fabric down your thighs. with one good tug, she tugged the other side down as well. she let go, and bit into the crotch, pulling it down your legs. she left it at your ankles, grabbing them and lifting them over her head as she crawled closer. you gasped as you felt robin’s breath, spreading your legs as far as you could. the bend of your knee rested on eddie’s thigh, as you let go and let yourself lay against the beanbag underneath you. “holy shit.” you muttered, as one of robin’s hands split the skin protecting your organ, and the other ran up and down the red flesh beneath it, feeling the arousal shift around her long, thin fingers. your stomach tightened, as you felt something wet run along your skin.

“holy fuck, robin.” you mutter, tugging on her hair. robin grins up at you, slipping a finger into you. it was easy; you were already so wet. robin made note of it. “you’re so wet.” she said teasingly. nancy, eddie and steve were quiet, as you eyed her. “robin.” you say slowly, pulling her head back. “not yet.” you tell her, cupping her cheek with a gentle smile, before kicking the thong off your ankles and letting her go.

you glance at eddie, and notice that he’s fixated. you cant help but smile. “what is it, eds?”

eddie swallowed roughly, his eyes slowly trailing up your body. “nothing.” he says shakily. you slowly, very slowly, slide your leg off of his and close your legs.

“steve.” robin says. steve lifts his head. “dare.” steve says, and robin smiles. “take off eddie’s boxers.”

and steve did so, without question. steve knelt between eddie’s knees, his fingers resting on the hem on eddie’s hips. eddie leaned back, putting his weight on his hands so steve could slip the hem off of his hips. and steve did. you almost ogled at it, as steve slid eddie’s boxers down his legs.

eddie was very large; not necessarily long, but very thick. that was insanely clear. veins lines the based, the tip red and weeping. you noticed steve’s eyes linger, as he dropped back into his spot. steve’s eyes landed back on nancy. “nance.”

“dare.” nancy said immediately. “take off my boxers.”

robin laughed. “those are not boxers, harrington.” she says, crossing her arms. you chuckle, your head on her shoulder. her arm was around you, rubbing your side.

“yes they are!! they are-“ nancy tore the tighty whities off of steve in one fell swoop. in comparison to eddie, steve’s lower region was long, and thin. eddie would stretch you, and made you feel like youre ripping into two, but steve would abuse your cervix, leave you unable to walk. you wanted them both.

nancy sat back down with a gentle smile. “[y/n]?” she offered. “dare.” you tell her.

“i dare you to give free reign to your boobs for the rest of the game.”

you scoff. “nance! that’s not fair!” you say. “you can’t dare me for the whole game.” robin eyed your chest. “no, actually, i’m pretty sure she can do that.” there was murmuring of agreement from eddie and steve.

given that there was free reign for the rest of the game, they could touch you however they wanted (on your tits, of course), whenever they wanted. you weren’t opposed at all. you sigh, and nod. “okay. my turn?” nancy nods.

you feel a large, warm hand on your back, with hints of cold. glancing over, eddie’s hands are undoing the latches on the back of your bra, his rings gently scraping your skin. you pretend to ignore him. “robin.”

robin watches as the black fabric loosens on your body, your tits immediately sagging lower than they were being held up in your bra. you allow eddie to slide it down your arms gently.

“dare.” robin says, watching your tits. “i dare you to take off nancy’s underwear.” robin wasted no time in climbing behind nancy, her fingers on the latches of nancy’s purple bra. you smile smugly after noticing that steve was twitching, watching eddie’s large, ringed fingers ghost over the delicate skin on your chest. he leaned down, kissing the top of your tit, before biting it softly. your fingers found his hair, holding it as he nibbled hickeys into the skin.

looking over, you noticed that nancy was undressed, holding her knees to her chest. both robin and nancy’s eyes, as well as steve’s, were on you.

“that’s it, baby. good boy.” you whisper, leaning down and kissing the top of eddie’s head. you could hear eddie’s quiet huff of breath, before he pulled away.

robin’s stereo crackled again, skipping to the next song. at this point, that stereo was the only thing providing noise. you leaned forward slowly, catching eddie’s lips in yours. you felt him sigh against youe lips. you could almost feel yourself getting high off of the weed on his breath. eddie’s hand found your side, as he tilted his head further into you, navigating his kisses from your mouth, to your jaw. then, to your neck. and then to your tits. he took your nipple in his mouth. your head fell back at the odd sensation, rubbing his upper back as he worked a bruise into you. after he perfected his art, he pulled away, only to be dragged into another kiss.

the other three were jealous, of course. being the newest member of this unlikely friendgroup, you were the subject of fantasy; they all wanted you. and eddie was hogging.

“stop hogging, dingus.” you heard robin say, with a “yeah!” from steve. eddie slowly pulled away, a thin string of saliva connecting your lips. he pulled slowly, watching the saliva stretch before breaking, falling and sticking to his chin. he wiped it, as steve, from infront of you, grabbed your chin and kissed you. roughly.

it was different compared to eddie; eddie was soft and gentle and submissive. steve was practically forcing you down. and you wouldn’t stand for it.

your fingers found steve’s neck, holding the pulse points. he groaned into your mouth, grabbing your wrist and holding it away. you push forward with your chest, forcing steve away. “not so fast, baby girl.” you mutter. steve eyed you dangerously, from head to toe, before groaning and taking a glance at his crotch. you smile, extending your leg between eddie and steve before turning your attention to nancy and robin. steve immediately got the hint, bucking against your thigh quickly. eddie didn’t. he wanted the satisfaction of you holding him, jerking him off gently. maybe he’d even get to be inside you.

robin’s kiss was passionate and romantic; slow, but dominant and controlling. you loved the way the two of you fought for dominance, trading it back and forth like a toy. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed nancy squeezing her thighs together. you smile. as you felt something hot, and wet hit your leg, nancy tossed her head back, whimpering as she rutted against her own leg.

glancing down, it was steve who painted your leg. you smile, tilting your head. “all done, steve-o. put your clothes back on.” steve froze. “what?”

“you lose. you backed out first. you have to buy us milkshakes.” you said, as robin kissed down your neck and eddie nudged his nose against your cheek.

steve’s brows furrowed. “what?! no, that wasn’t explained to me.”

you smile, as nancy crawls over too, her fingers trailing up robin’s back to unlatch her bra. “that’s too bad. you’ll just have to watch. maybe you shouldn’t have been so greedy.”

steve gawked, as you lean over to meet with eddie, kissing him softly as eddie places a hand on your thigh to stabilize himself. “how about you first, baby?” you whisper softly against his lips. “you waited. like a good boy, right?”

eddie nodded hesitantly. you kiss his forehead, before motioning to the empty space between your legs. eddie’s eyes widen, and he wastes no time awkwardly stepping over your thigh on his knees. nancy and robin scoot back, as you ease yourself into the beanbag behind you. nancy moves to where eddie just was, as eddie scoots forward and places your thighs over his gently, the bend of your knees on his hips.

you know eddie was too desperate for foreplay, and you didnt mind. you were sure the two ladies lapping at your skin was plenty to get you soaked. and it was. eddie slipped in, almost effortlessly.

you groaned at the stretch, reaching around nancy to place a hand on his chest. nancy was pressed flush against your skin, kissing at your jaw. eddie waited, rocking his hips gently and slowly in order to get you used to the feeling of him moving. and after a few moments, afrer you decided he was okay, you loweed your hand from his chest. nancy lifted herself up, and eddie began to buck into you. no tempo at all, of course, but you didnt mind. he was breathless and panting, his hands trembling as he gripped your love handles.

there was no way to explain how absolutely beautiful this was, you were sure, as he came undone immediately inside of you.

he pulled back out after a few moments, jerking off over your tummy quickly. and he perfected his paint job, as steve began to get dressed.

“lick it up, bubba.” you said, as eddie began to detach himself from you. and he didnt complain at all, as you dipped down to lick from your stomach to your chest, following the line of cum all the way up to the valley between your tits. then, he detached himself from you.

“your clothes are on the bed.” you tell him, as nancy began rocking against her thighs again.

“here, baby.” you whisper, kissing her forehead. you prop up your thigh, and she immediately takes the hint. she straddles your thigh, and begins to rock. it didnt take long for her to come undone, gasping as your fingers trailed up her small, delicate body and twisted the pink buds sitting on her chest.

she came, trembling with a loud whine against your leg. you could feel how wet she was against you. and with that, nancy was getting up to put her clothes back on.

robin seemed to spark an idea, of which you weren’t rejecting. she straddled you at an angle, her core positioned just above yours, the two of you could feel the heat emitting from eachother. so, she sank down, rocking against your clit. it didnt take much, a few moments of loud moaning and praises, both of you were coming undone into eachother.

and that was that.

as everyone got dressed, steve offered waterbottles.

eddie sat on the couch at the foot of robin’s bed. “so we agree to not tell anyone about this, right?”

and there was a chorus of agreements

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie smut #robin buckley x reader #nancy wheeler x reader #robnance smut #stranger things 4 #stranger things #stranger things 4 spoilers #stranger things x reader

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wormstacheangel · 3 years

Text

Second part to the mixtape headcanon. Dean’s reaction to Cas being at his door in the middle of the night with the mixtape in hand.

Dedicated to Liv ( @blue-eyed-cutiepatootie ) sorry it took me a while but here it is. Might not be what you expected but hopefully you enjoy it either way.

Cas stopped short in front of Dean’s door. His heart raced as he held the Walkman to his chest, clinging to the words he just heard, but he knew those words were years old. So much has changed in general, but between them, it felt like a still lake.

Since coming back, Dean has acted as if those dying words weren’t even spoken. Sometimes Cas wondered if he imagined the whole thing, but he knew the truth; Dean didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want to make it uncomfortable for them.

It was something Cas has accepted the last few weeks of being in the bunker, being home, but now, with Dean’s secret message, he felt the courage in him bubble up his throat.

Cas quickly knocked three loud, quick bangs with his fist before waiting for a response. He heard a groggy, “What?”

“Dean? May I—Can we talk?”

Cas didn’t hear an answer right away, and for a second, he thought maybe Dean fell back asleep; he knew it was the early morning hours but wasn’t quite sure of the exact time. Still, time never really meant anything to him before, but now, as a human, time has become precious, and he didn’t want to keep wasting it.

He took a deep, shaky breath, raising his fist to knock again, but the door then clicked open. Revealing a disheveled and disoriented Dean.

He leaned against the door frame wearing lemon patterned boxer briefs and a hand up his t-shirt to scratch at his chest, as he yawned before he blinked at Cas a few times, “Dude, it’s 3 am. What can’t wait ‘til morning?”

Cas swallowed his nerves down before looking down at the Walkman to take out the tape. He brought it up to Dean’s face, and with an earnest voice, he said, “You said to come ASAP. So I’m here.”

Dean only looked at the cassette tape; a small gasp of a breath raised his chest, but then his face scrunched up in the familiar fixed glare, so Cas continued knowing Dean won’t talk. Not yet anyway.

He put the cassette back into the Walkman as he talked, rewinding it to keep his nervous hands busy. “I believe I understood what you—what the songs mean, but I am still so new at all this. If I am wrong, I don’t want it hurting us.” Cas took a sneaky look back up at Dean to find him watching the Walkman with the same intensity Cas was.

It only took a few seconds, and then Dean was shuffling in the doorway as the first song, Ramble On, started to play through the headphones. With no other words, Dean opened his bedroom door open just a little more, an invitation to come in, before he walked back over to sit at the edge of his bed.

When Cas walked in, he closed the door behind him but stood awkwardly by it. He broke the silence first as he looked anywhere but at Dean.

“You know what, maybe this can wait until morning.”

“You already woke me up.” Cas looked up to meet Dean’s stare, it wasn’t cold, but it still sent a shiver down Cas’s spine. “So talk.”

Cas opened his mouth, not knowing what words he was even forming, but Dean stood with a hand up to stop him before any words were spoken.

“Actually, first, why are you bringing this up again? I gave you that thing years ago.”

Cas put the Walkman down on Dean’s desk, the music softer but still background music, before looking at Dean with guilty soft eyes, not knowing how to explain himself. “Yes. I just heard—I appreciate the gift, Dean. Thank you but-um.”

Dean seemed taken back by the words, and, by his hardening demeanor, Cas knew they were the wrong ones. Dean was building walls up again.

“You know what, Cas,” Dean scrubbed a hand down his face as he glared past Cas with an uneasy smile settled on his face. “I can’t do this right now. How about we leave the rejections for some other time? Yeah?”

Cas opened his mouth, confused, but Dean nodded.

“Good. Night, Cas.”

Oh. He was already being rejected. It made sense that Dean’s feelings changed after all this time. He must have been waiting for Cas to mention the message, but it’s too late now. He lost Dean’s love.

Cas reached for the Walkman, but now he wasn’t sure if he wanted to listen to those songs, understanding why Dean skips them now. So he fists up his hands, leaving the Walkman where it laid, before giving Dean a stiff nod in return.

“Understood. Goodnight, Dean.”

Dean didn’t say anything in return, his jaw clenching as he looked at anywhere but Cas. “And take your damn gift with you.”

Cas’s chest tightened at the words. He felt familiar pain spread through his body, one he wished had a physical reason than an emotional, psychological one because a fist to his chest would hurt less.

“I don’t want it anymore.” Cas spit out as he opened the bedroom door and walked out into the hallway. “Throw it away for all I care.”

He slams the door closed behind him and stalks to his room, slamming that door behind him as well.

Then as soon as he is in the safety of his own space, he can feel the pain making itself known, like a hot blade slowly cutting into him or something heavy sitting on his chest. Either way, he wanted it to stop. Wishing he never heard that message or that he heard it at the right time.

Cas laid wide awake in bed, curled up around a pillow he was hugging to his chest. He stared at the wall, wishing he had a better imagination to keep him entertained, but all he could see was Dean’s glare. The glare those green eyes dug into him really digging roots and pulling him apart from the inside out with an invisible pull.

He couldn’t go out there and face him now. Maybe, Cas should have just ignored the long-ago message. It was apparent Dean had lost those feelings for Cas; he would have brought up Cas’s dying words weeks ago if Dean felt remotely the same. Now Cas was left with an awkward situation he didn’t want to be a part of.

He needed to leave.

Cas knew that. This is how it always went. Cas needed to go.

Cas stood up to walk over to his desk to grab his wallet and keys before grabbing his coat, ready to sneak off before the sunrise. He’ll be gone before Dean can kick him out again.

He didn’t even get a chance to open his bedroom door before Dean was striding in with a determined glare, “Okay, fuck this, I think we really need to-” Dean stopped to look Cas up and down as his shoulders dropped. “You’re leaving.”

“I think—I think it’ll be best.”

Dean nodded, his bottom lip being sucked into his mouth as he stared back at Cas. “Sure. Just do what you do best. Runaway.” Dean threw whatever he held in his hand across the room and broke it with a loud bang. Cas flinched as he saw what it was, the Walkman. “Fuck if I care!”

Dean was already turning to walk away, but Cas grabbed hold of his arm to stop him. “Why are you so damn mad, Dean?” Cas walked to step in front of him. He moved until he finally locked eyes with the angry hunter. “I’m only doing this for you.”

Dean rolled his eyes and shrugged Cas’s touch away. “Don’t bullshit me, Cas! You’re running away cause you don’t want to face me.” Dean poked Cas’s chest as he continued his angry rant. “Why don’t you start acting like a fucking man and face the damn consequences instead of being a little bitch and running away?”

Cas didn’t stand down as he glared back at Dean. “Enlighten me then. What would those consequences be?”

Cas took Dean’s finger and pulled it away from his chest, but it stayed in his grasp as he took a step forward, never taking his eyes off the familiar angry glare. The angry man he left behind still here after all those years, looking back at him with an ‘I dare you’ stare, but Cas could always read past those words. Dean was hurting.

“Why don’t you stop acting like a…like a little bitch, and just-!” Cas stopped with a loud sigh while he dropped Dean’s hand, along with his stare. Instead, he looked down at their socked feet. Dean was wearing pizza socks while Cas wore matching burger ones. They came in the same pack, and Dean split it up for them. He cracked a small smile thinking of that day before looking back up at Dean with pleading eyes. “Dean. I’m tired of this. Can you please just…Just talk to me?”

“Nothing more to talk about, Cas.” Dean sounded more defeated than angry now. “I got the message. Loud and clear.”

Cas blinked at him a few times. “Well, I’m sorry, but I apparently haven’t gotten the same message.”

“Don’t play dumb.” Cas just stood there staring at him, waiting for him to continue. “Geez, Cas, how many times are you going to fuck with my—I get it, dude, you don’t feel the same! I am doing my damn best here to be fucking normal about this, and then here you come bringing that old relic back as if—Did I fuck up somehow? Am I not giving you enough space?”

“I have enough space, Dean.” Cas tried to understand Dean’s words, process them, but they all felt just as jumbled in his mind as they did, leaving Dean’s mouth. “I—I’m sorry, I just don’t understand.”

“Shocker.”

“Did I understand the message wrong?” Cas ignored him as he asked, turning his head towards the shattering remains of his gift.

He felt his shoulders fall as a pang of sadness hit him from seeing his first gift broken. Cas walked towards it, hoping he would find the tape safely stored away inside the deck of the Walkman. He crouched to pick up the big chunk of plastic in his hand. It was smashed beyond repair, and the eject button was not working. Great, he’s going to have to break it more.

“ASAP,” Dean mumbled to himself, and Cas hummed in response, twisting the part in his hand.

“Yes. That’s what you said, so I did.”

“I told you to talk to me ASAP years ago, Cas.” Cas didn’t have to look up to know Dean was walking closer to him. “Did you just listen to the message?”

“I did.” Cas’s shoulders slumped in guilt. Dean has been waiting for a response all this time. “Sorry.”

“So when you were—when you tried to return the tape, that wasn’t a, um, a rejection?”

Cas looked up at him before he stood up, the broken Walkman in his hand. “I have loved you then like I love you now, Dean. I would never. Is that what you think happened?”

“Yes!” Dean took a step forward as he ran his hand through his hair, his eyes traveling down to the broken shards. “Shit. So wait, when you said you loved me, before the empty…did you mean,” Dean cleared his throat as he walked closer, nervously scratching his beard when he realized he didn’t have any pockets to hide his hands in. “Did you mean romantically? Like, like human romance?”

“I,” Cas felt his throat dry up as he tried to swallow a lump as he nodded earnestly. “I did. Yes.”

Dean looked at him, looking for something, and before Cas could ask what it was, Dean had his hands on either side of Cas’s face—pulling him in close until they were chest to chest. Then lips to lips.

Cas didn’t even realize he dropped the machine until he realized he had his hands on Dean’s skin. Feeling his body lift off the floor until he was being dropped on the bed, and Cas was watching something he never thought he would have or hear.

“I love you, Cas. I love you so much.”

Happiness isn’t always in the having, but fuck, this was so much better by a long shot.

#miscommunication sure is a bitch #sorry they are frustrating idiots but they are in love so thats something #Destiel #Deancas #Supernatural #SPN #A More Profound OTP #destiel fic #destiel ficlet #destiel mixtape #My Writing #WormstacheWrites #Dean #Cas

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sunjaesol · 3 years

Text

THE MANY CRUSHES OF LUKE PATTERSON... AND THE ONE THAT STUCK

💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌

1982

Luke Patterson's first crush ever was Haley Martin. He adored the colour of her hair — like the clementines his mom bought — and the way she finger-painted, enough for his four year old eyes to stare at her in awe.

He watched her make mud pies in the sandbox from the monkey bars, only to ruin them to get a rise out of her. He couldn't understand why she didn't like him the way he did, so he nagged his mom to explain.

"Teasing girls should be fun for them too, sweetheart," she soothed. "This Haley clearly didn't like it."

He blinked. "Huh?"

Her smile stayed warm, similar to hot chocolate and whenever grandpa conjured candies from behind his ear. "Why don't you share your grapes with her tomorrow? I'm sure she'll like that."

His nose scrunched up. "Why?"

"Because it's sweet, Luke."

"I don't get that," he shrugged. "But I'll try."

The next day, he sat beside her during storybook time and that seemed to help a little already. By the time it was lunch, her mood was lifted, which excited him too, and urged him to offer the grapes.

It earned him a featherlight kiss on the cheek.

Luke squeaked in surprise, flushing a firetruck red, to which she giggled and plopped another grape in her mouth.

Three days later, his crush was gone from his mind and he began sharing his grapes with his new friend Reginald instead.

1986

"Can you ask Jessica what she thinks of me?" Luke hurriedly whispered, eyes flickering between Reggie and the girl from across the courtyard.

Normally, Luke Patterson exuded confidence. The resident class clown, always opening his jaw to react to the teacher without raising his hand, catching fights with stupid classmates, sneaking into dad's stationwagon to create mixtapes.

Fearlessness was his freaking middle name. (It was actually Beck, but whatever. He wished it was something cool like Duran Duran though.)

But when it came to girls... he got so nervous. Because they were girls! He didn't understand them! They hated rambunctious boys and only listened to stupid pop music and blabbered about how they stole makeup from their sisters.

Jessica, however, somehow made his heart flutter and his stomach twist up. She just looked cool in her dungarees and she had a pretty smile and she didn't wear that overwhelming, sugary perfume that was now popular.

Reggie snickered, in the way only eight year old boys could. "You liiiiiiike her!"

"No!" He scowled. "I–I'm just curious."

"Sure," he drawled, but then shrugged in agreement, the oversized leather jacket rustling on his shoulders. He stole it from his older brother after he saw him kissing (!!!) some girl and figured it held some magic to impress the ladies with.

"Just do it!"

With a dramatic flourish, the boy left their hiding spot, Luke lurking around the corner of the alcove to watch. Jessica looked up from her hard work of creating friendship bracelets and smiled at Reggie.

Oh, gosh. She was pretty.

A minute later, a sheepish Reg slowly crawled back to him, cheeks red and fiddling with the zipper of his jacket.

Luke grabbed his shoulders, urgent. "What did she say?"

"Uh... well..."

"C'mon, dude!"

Reggie sighed. "She... likes me, buddy. Sorry."

His hopeful face crashed into one of devestation, quickly covering it up with a laugh and a squeeze of the shoulder. Oh, man, what would Steven Tyler do?

"That– that's dope!"

In the end, Reggie and Jessica were boyfriend and girlfriend for a week while he wrote an angry poem about how stupid dungarees were.

Huh... it was surprisingly good.

1988

"Hey, Luke," Gwenn greeted, shy, tucking her hands in her Camp Wacky Rocka hoodie. "I really liked that song you made about your guitar."

Jumping from the tree branch to the ground, Luke dazzled her with an appreciative smile. From above, Reggie and their new friend Alex watched on curiously.

"Thanks!"

Who would've thought that summer camp would be the first time he made a real, girl friend! Gwenn was super cool and she played the saxophone and she liked Joan Jett and her hair was all curly and big and it reminded him of pretty clouds.

Looking over her shoulder, he noticed a gaggle of girls staring at them. Like they were waiting.

Gwenn stared at him. "Can you close your eyes?"

He frowned. "Why?"

"Just 'cause."

Whatever. Maybe she wanted to show him something cool and would stick it in his hand. Complying, he closed his eyes and impatiently waited, bouncing on his heels.

"So?"

Suddenly, he felt a light, warm touch on his mouth and — oh! She was kissing him!

Luke staggered back in surprise, gawking at a blushing Gwenn as she squeaked a sorry and ran back to the now giggling and screeching girls. They ran away like a flock of birds.

It was a dare! His first kiss, stolen by a dare!

His boys jumped down beside him, awed.

Reggie hollered. "You kissed Gwenn!"

"I don't get it," Alex muttered.

Luke's face twisted up in a sour expression. Camp Wacky Rocka should be all about the music and becoming legends and Gwenn ruined it!

He stuck his tongue out. "Whatever. Let's go to the mess hall!"

1989

When Luke turned eleven, he kissed someone for real.

His birthday party was at the arcade, loud chatter and robotic sounds clashing together in an amazing cacophony. His parents hated the place, which is why Luke loved it.

Of the twenty guests, Yasmine clapped the loudest after he finished his song with the boys — Math Is For Losers! — and grabbed his hand as they walked to a duel game.

Luke felt fuckin' giddy the entire time. (Freakin' in front of his parents, fuckin' with friends.) The swoop in his stomach, his cheeks stretched into a wide beam.

Freshly eleven and the king of the arcade, he boldly asked if he could kiss her.

She smiled, her purple headband glittering in the neon lights, and nodded.

It was short and warm and her lips tasted like pink lemonade and sour gummies and it gave him an entirely new buzz. It was exciting.

He kissed her a couple more times the days after, eager and curious, until she claimed she was now only interested in twelve year old boys.

Since Luke now held the record of most kisses between him, Alex and Reggie, he wasn't too bothered by it. They shook hands, complimented each other on the kissing, and that was that.

1992

"Are you or are you not my boyfriend?" Olivia bit, crossing her arms.

Luke sighed, lazy gaze drifting from her to his band waiting by their bikes. Damn, he thought having a girlfriend would be way easier. Why was she so tense?

"I am," he said. "Why do you think I'm not?"

"Because you ignore me, like, all the time!" Pouting, she fiddled with the hem of her tartan skirt. "And now you're going to be with your band!"

He shrugged. "You can come with us and listen, if you want."

Luke met Olivia this year as deskmates in French class. Her raven hair was long and thick and her lips were all shiny from lip gloss and maybe he got a little cocky, thinking he could be dating the hottest girl of freshman year, so he naturally asked her out.

Maybe he should've considered beforehand whether they had anything in common, but he'd always been the overzealous type. And besides... she was a good kisser.

She scoffed. "That's not any better. Whatever. I'll just hang with Tina and Priscilla then. Laters!"

Plopping a kiss on his lips, she turned around and stalked to her whispering friends. Luke puffed, adjusted the beanie and made his way to the boys.

Girls were confusing.

"I bet dating boys is easier," Alex mused. "Like, equally terrifying, but also... easier. I think. Maybe."

Bobby laughed. "How's the girlfriend, Luke?"

"Ha ha," he deadpanned. "Let's go. I got this new song, Crooked Teeth, and it's a fucking banger!"

Olivia broke up with him after Sunset Curve's first, official gig at the arcade with the explanation that he loved music more than her. He never loved her to begin with, so maybe that was the problem.

She made out with Bobby that same night.

Holy shit, man. He supposed that bitter feeling at the sight of them tasted like rock 'n roll, the one thing he actually craved.

What a funny, funny feeling. (He wrote a hell of a lot of songs about it after. He never quite looked at Bobby the same way either.)

1995

"Hey, Maisie." Leaning against the locker beside the girl, he shot her a million dollar smile. "You comin' to our gig tonight? It's at The Orpheum."

Maisie was fucking awesome. Always in short, flowery dresses and fishnet tights and thick eyeliner like a rockstar, always listening to something new on her walkman. She came from a rich family, but that didn't hinder them from becoming friends.

Her jaw fell slack in awe, him instantly gaining more confidence. Ducking his head to meet her eye, he leaned a little closer. He knew damn well what he was doing, and he got a thrill every time it worked.

"Really?" She gasped. "That's awesome! I'll so be there!"

"Sweet," he grinned. "And stay after too."

A brow quirked up, intrigued. "Why?"

He shrugged. "Just 'cause."

"Right," she drawled. "Nothing is 'just because' with you, Luke."

"And that's why you gotta stay," he teased, nudging her shoe with his. "To find out."

If they rocked that gig and he felt like a fucking legend, he hoped it would end with the two of them hooking up. He wasn't interested in dating — having learned his lesson after Olivia — and he knew she wasn't either, but she was fun.

And that was the most important to him: to have fucking fun. Luke Patterson was here for a good time, not a long time.

And if nothing happened between him and Maisie, then he'd still feel like a legend. In a couple of hours, he was going to play at The Orpheum! How gnarly was that?!

2022

Twenty-seven years later, Luke was still seventeen years old. While he preferred to not question the science behind ghostly activities — he flunked physics anyway — he was happy that he froze at this age.

Because Julie was seventeen, too.

And, man. He was madly in love with her.

He loved everything, from the babyhairs curling around her ears, to her voice and compassionate soul, to her beautiful smile, all the way to her cute, doodled sneakers.

Her epic music taste, her snark, the way she always found his gaze, the way she finished his lyrics, the way she always knew what to say to make him feel better.

His heart melted to a flickering candle whenever she hugged him, a raging wildfire erupting between every kiss. He was a fool for her.

"Stop moving," she giggled, one hand coming up to hold his chin.

He grinned, "Sorry, Jules."

Shifting closer, she dabbled more glitter on his cheeks. They were playing at a black-light club tonight, so Julie and Flynn bought all the glow in the dark makeup available at the store for the occasion.

They looked ridiculous in daylight, Julie's weirdly pink lipstick claiming all his attention, but he knew they'd look fucking cool once the lights went down.

"You want to watch a movie after the gig?" she whispered.

Luke rolled his eyes, playful. "You're gonna fall asleep."

"Yeah." With a bashful tilt of the shoulder, she leaned in closer. "But then you'll be with me."

"Julie! How scandalous," he teased, though his chest swelled at the thought of having some alone time, some cuddle time, with Julie.

"So?"

Murmuring a yes, he closed the little distance to kiss her, sealing the deal, only for her to chase after him — an attempt to wipe the lipstick stain off his lips.

"Nah, keep it." A smirk grew. "So the people know."

She tsked. "Idiot."

"You like it."

"I'm still taking it off though, seeing as you're supposed to be a hologram," she pointed out. "But... you can kiss my lipstick away after the show."

He sighed, dreamy. "I love you."

Finishing his glitter and removing the stain, she dazzled him with a satisfied smile. "Love you too."

She rose up from the couch and went to search for Reggie, the boy likely with Carlos. For a moment, Luke was alone in the studio, allowing himself to sink into that warm, fuzzy feeling.

No matter how many blunders he went through with girls — Haley, Jessica, Gwenn, Yasmine, Olivia, Maisie — they all prepared him, in one way or the other, for Julie.

To not only recognise when an awesome girl was standing right in front of him, but also how to treat her — because Julie Molina deserved the fucking world.

Even if that world now included the supernatural.

Whatever. They were all a little crazy.

💌💌💌💌💌💌💌💌

@bluefirewrites @blush-and-books @pink-flame @ourstarscollided @constantly-singing @unsaid-emily @willexx

#juke #jatp fanfiction #julie and the phantoms

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mintelepathy · 3 years

Text

"From now on, you won't be alone anymore"

idol!jungkook x reader/oc

word count: +2.0k

genre: fluff¿

warnings: swear words¿

summary: jungkook can't stop thinking about the girl he met at a convenience store in the middle of the night and he can't help but return to see her again.

mlist

Jungkook can't sleep today, he's been sitting on the floor of his living room for almost three hours now, a piece of paper placed on his coffee table and a pen in his right hand.

Writing lyrics was easy when he felt inspired, but today it wasn't the case, he really wanted to make some progress with his mixtape but it seems that it wasn't the right time now.

He gave up. He knew that his attempts to write some lyrics were in vain for the moment, he needed to do something else, maybe something that could inspire him.

He often goes for a walk at night around his neighborhood, the later it is the better for him, it's the only time of the day where he doesn't feel like being spied, he understands what fame brings but sometimes people really step out of the line, and he wasn't happy with that, let's not misunderstand, he loves when fans approached him respectfully and talked to him, he just doesn't like when people follow him around with bad intentions.

He didn't even waste his time changing his clothes, he grabbed a coat because it was chilly outside and headed to the streets.

The night was quite peaceful, mostly because it was 3 in the morning, but it was a different kind of peace, and he enjoyed it. Trees filled the area where he lived creating a gentle wind, feeling the night breeze was something he loved, he stopped walking for a moment and took a big breath with his eyes closed. The air felt clean compared to other days.

When he opened his eyes the first thing he spotted was a convenience store crossing the street. He usually doesn't have any late snack, even more now that he is on a diet, but today he'll make an exception.

He made his way to the store with no rush and opened the door, it was his first time there, it wasn't like he didn't visit convenience stores often but that he had never seen that place before the times he went for a walk.

He greeted the girl who was working there and headed straight to the shelves looking for kombucha tea and ramen, he had the intention of eating the ramen there since those kind of stores had microwaves, so people were able to prepare their instant food and eat it right away.

But there was a problem, the kombucha tea was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the counter, you found yourself watching the boy who just entered the store looking around the shelves for something unsuccessfully, you decided to make your way towards him to see if he needed any help.

"Excuse me, do you need help with anything?" The boy was wearing a big black bucket hat and a black face mask so it was quite difficult to see how his face looked.

"Uhm yeah, do you sell kombucha tea?" It was crazy how kombucha tea was being sold lately.

"Yes we do, but it's sold out at the moment, I heard somewhere that a singer recommend it and people got really interested and bought it until stores ran out of it" a giggle escaped his lips.

"I think I know who you are talking about" he took off his bucket hat to fix his hair, and put it back quickly. You could see his eyes for a split second and you felt like you have seen those eyes before, they were so big and pretty, like bambi eyes.

"Oh really, who is this famous singer then?" You knew you have read or heard about this guy but you couldn't remember his name.

"Jungkook" there it was when you realized.

"You are Jungkook" he just nodded. "I knew you seemed familiar" you confessed. "Anyway, is there anything else I can help you with?" You asked politely.

"Can I use the microwave?" He was the first person who asked you if they could use the microwave, people often just used it without asking.

"Yeah, of course" you made your way to the counter again and sat in your chair.

You couldn't help but watched him as he prepared the ramen, working there, and at night, was boring as hell so you never missed the opportunity to talk to customers when you had the chance, but you weren't quite sure if you should go and try to have a conversation with him. You didn't want him to think that you were approaching him just because he was famous.

Seeing him preparing ramen made you feel hungry, you also wanted to eat some so you didn't think twice and went to grab a cup of ramen.

He was sited just right besides the microwave so it was impossible to ignore his presence. You saw that he forgot to grab chopsticks so you picked two pairs from a shelve.

"Here" you said as you handed him the chopsticks.

"Thank you" he gently grabbed them, he had taken his bucket hat off so you were able to see him more properly now. "I see you are hungry" he said and you smiled.

"Yeah, I've been staring all night at those cups of ramen and I couldn't hold myself when I saw you preparing it" you said calmly trying to make him feel comfortable around you.

"Should we eat together then?" His question took you by surprise, he was being so sweet considering you were a completely stranger to him.

"I don't think I'm allowed to do this, but yes" you sat on the only chair left, which was besides him, and waited until your ramen was done.

"Would you get in trouble for eating with me?" He sounded concerned.

"Just if my boss finds out, but he is never around and almost no one buys things at this hour, so I don't think he'll know" fuck your boss, you didn't really like him, he was really rude to everyone.

"Well, in case your boss finds out, I can come and tell him that it was all my fault" it was the second time he made you smile.

You were ready to get up when you heard the microwave was done getting the ramen cooked, but Jungkook got up faster and brought it for you.

"Thank you" you said as he sat again, you both opened the chopsticks and started eating, even though he could start eating his ramen sooner he waited until yours was ready.

He obviously wasn't wearing his face mask anymore so you could see his features clearly. He was stunning. "What brought you here so late?" You asked him to start a conversation.

"I was trying to write some lyrics on my apartment but it didn't turn out how I wanted, I also couldn't sleep so I decided to take some fresh air, then when I was walking I saw this store and well, now I'm here" he took another bite of ramen. "Do you work here all night?" He asked you.

"Yeah, until 6am, it's kinda scary going back home alone after work because I have to walk and it's still dark outside when I leave, but anyways i'm here just during the weekend tought, I'm studying at collage so actually this is a part time job for me, I don't spend too much time in here" you could noticed he was really paying attention to you, he stopped eating everytime you talked.

"Can I know what are you studying?" You didn't know if he was really interested or if he was just being nice, but you were so happy now that you could spend some time talking with someone.

"I want to major in audio visuals, my parents weren't happy when I told them what I was going to study, they wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I didn't listen to them, is that a bad thing?" You asked him, you barely knew him and you were already asking him for advice, considering you didn't have close friends maybe you really needed a therapist to talk this things after all.

"I think you did the right thing, it's your life, you should do things that makes you happy" he made emphasis in the you part. "And you will learn from the decisions you make, not from other's" wise words.

"What about you? Are you happy with the life you have right now?" Both of you had already finished eating, so you were ready to listen to him closely.

"I am, I'm not happy everyday but I'm happy with my life so I can't complain, I just sometimes wish I could do things that are normal for most of the people" you completely understood his point, and you felt sad for him, everyone deserved that kind of freedom and you can see he couldn't have it.

"You know, when I saw you preparing the ramen I really wanted to talk to you because that's what I do with most of the people who comes here, but I was afraid you might think I only approached you because you were famous or something like that. So I just want you to know that even though I know your name or your face, it doesn't mean I know who you are, and for me you are just like everyone else, I won't treat you any different just because you are famous, I won't go and tell everyone that you were here or anything like that, I also know I can't take you to do all the things you'd like to do, but one thing I can offer you is an honest friendship, I bet Jungkook from bts is great, but if I'm honest I don't really care about him, I care about the real you and I'd love to get to know you more, I met you just a moment ago but I can see you are a really good person" everything you said was the truth, and he had to know that there was someone out there who cared about him. That's how you were, you cared about others.

"It's the first time someone tells me something like that, I really appreciate it" you would love to say that his words surprise you but they don't, and that's sad.

"I think I should go back to work right now" he nodded. "Oh and you don't have to pay, I invite" and with that you went back to the counter.

He stayed on the chair for a few more seconds doing something but you didn't know what because you could only see his back from there.

He got up later and made his way to the door. "Thank you for make me some company, see you soon" you didn't have time to say goodbye to him because he had already left. Have you done something wrong? You asked yourself.

Time passed and it was time to go back home, your coworker came in time so by 6am you were already out of the store, you didn't start walking though, you couldn't believe who was in front of you.

"Jungkook? What are you doing here?" Was he waiting for you?

"You said it was scary going back home alone, so from now on, you won't be alone anymore" it seems that you actually didn't do anything wrong after all. "I left a note on the table we shared" oh shit, you didn't see it.

"I didn't see it, sorry" you were about to go and look for it but he stopped you.

"It's okay, don't worry. It just said that I'd love to have you as a friend, and since you invite the ramen I hope you can accept my invitation to drink something some day" he seemed shy now, maybe that's why he didn't tell you this in person.

"Yeah, we can definitely go to drink something together, and as friends now" you smiled at him as he bite his lip cutely.

"Should I take you home now? You must be tired"

Yes you definitely were.

"Let's go" you said as you both started to walk next and close to each other.

There was no way you would forget this night.

♡

I hope you enjoyed reading this one

A like or reblog is always appreciated :)

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neitherlightnordark · 2 years

Note

tell me about ur fics. tell me what seam misses most about jevil. tell me what jevil misses most about seam. tell me what queen missed most about both of them even though she didnt completely remember them

tali thank you thank you!

probably the saddest thing about the sock and the buskin chapter 5 prototype 7.4 revision 2 is that i won't be able to write swatch announcing a wwe match

i feel like this fic slowly changing tone was a map of how i changed my view of writing fanfic... the way the swatch chapter was narrated was partially because swatch is just like that but also because i figured fic should be a little more pretentious, as a treat. the susie chapter was relief in finding something new to write. and of course ts&tb changed how i wrote fic too it helped and hindered a lot... man i love this stupid wonderful fic

there's still not enough seam and queen in the fic i'm writing about seam and queen. i hope that changes soon (is writing it myself)

it's hard to say what seam missed about jevil because really it's... everything isn't it? seam's a mess :] like in this version of canon i'm spinning up for this seam actually has a chance to talk to jevil again... how's seam supposed to reconcile with that. "would i have found a little more purpose in my life...?" well, you didn't come to him, even after all these years; but he came out, and just happened to come to you. now you get a chance to see. now you get to talk to him, and you slowly realize that yes, this is almost-comfortable, yes, this is almost-content, but not quite. it's always going to be uneasy. jevil will not fix you. something like that?

and of course jevil comes to seam. there's an irrepressible fondness in there that jevil chooses to keep; of course seam didn't choose to come to him, and jevil both doesn't (can't) understand (understand) that and appreciates that. oh, that keep's so stubborn, caught in a web of the cat's own making. indecisiveness! stubbornness! the fool's only companion- and they do say things about birds of a feather, don't they? so jevil scratches out poetry in his head and the two talk and there's more narrative in there than... like... living. but also not. see i'm doing it too they say things about birds of a feather don't they

queen was jevil's before she was seam's, is what i've decided. like, it makes sense; seam was [someone]'s plushie and always out doing adventures, but queen and jevil were at the castle, busy being final boss material and starting a supermarket together and whatnot. they must have thought the other hysterical. queen is very directive focused, jevil's here to have fun; both the chaos-es they create are still based on calculating and order; they like loud noises (thunder, explosion.mp3, whatever queen's mixtape has going on).

and i like to think the two of them are very genre aware, jevil canonically so, and queen was like Okay This Guy Is My Foil? Guess We're Destined To Be Besties 4 Life Then and jevil was like the "queen" seeks to break the mold!! her mold will be broken first, i suspect, uee hee- and what better seat to the nosebleeds than the front row!! and then they accidentally became besties. they mostly use this to torment card castle psychologically

seam, abandoned by the lightners for the final time, comes in upon a dark and stormy night and collapses on the castle's front doorstep. dramatically. like undyne. this doesn't really have anything to do with anything i just think undyne

ANYWAY i have this fic idea in my head where queen (as per the strangely common fic beat of her suggesting her friends take vacations) decides she wants to know jevil's funny stuffed aminmal friend together and then the three escape card castle in the middle of the night upon queen's moon-mantled wings. they collapse somewhere in the scarlet forest and they go to the great door. it's great

the point here is that back then seam didn't know queen well at all. but they were friends!! they were friends through jevil's fondness for them both. i imagine jevil took it hardest and went searching for her, and, well... he found her. an interesting thing that accidentally came out of this is that, as queen grieved a land that wasn't dead, seam and jevil never really let themselves grieve, because they knew she would return

#spoilers #minor ones. i think #personal #this was lovely to answer i'm glad i figured all this out

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starryyyjoon · 3 years

Text

I, you | Kim Namjoon One Shot

word count: 8.2k

pairing: idol!namjoon x fem reader

summary: namjoon meets you again and he can't help but want you to look at him the same way he has all these years.

disclaimer: it's sort of written from y/n pov. kind of smut included, not too much but still. other then that, i don't think there's anything. it was written a long time ago so i don't clearly remember, sorry!

Namjoon walked in, followed by a few staff members and they occupied the empty chairs on the conference table and I smiled at him and the others. He looked great like always, he was in a navy blue hoodie and a khaki colored trouser, with his hair pushed backwards exposing his forehead.

There was something and nothing between me and him and it was too tiring to play pretend. "You look good", he remarked and I smiled at him. He's always being too kind, I looked like absolute shit, I hadn't slept in three days and my clothes were whatever was in my reach that I'd put on after showering and I rushed here.

I had met him before this level of success but I was merely an assistant director myself and we'd talked about Monet and his work together, he'd similar interests to mine but both of us didn't really get anywhere because of our timing and I believed it was for the good. He'd always expressed how he liked my vision and wants to work with me on something and I didn't believe my vision because what even was my vision that he could see and not me and after being this big I didn't really thought he'll even remember me until he hit my phone one day and here I was, at the label's office to discuss the details of his mixtape's music video.

"So, do you've something in mind?", I asked him and he pressed his back on the chair letting out a yawn, he seemed tired.

"Not really! I want it simplistic and not too hard to understand. I haven't thought about it or anything so I don't know, I would await what you propose", he softly said.

"I haven't heard the track because of--", he intervened, "--ah you haven't? You should hear it first", he said and I nodded.

"I would need to hear it", I told him, thinking about the lengthy talks with the illustrator already.

The staff then pin pointed about the budget, the do nots and other details and two of my team members who were seated beside me talked thoroughly in detail about the technicalities. Namjoon looked bored with all the talk that didn't interest him. He wasn't much different from before slightly bigger.

All of us stood up coming to an agreement when Namjoon asked me to walk up to his studio to hear the track and I asked my team members to go ahead first. I walked through the dark corridor behind him while he talked to someone on the phone, all the way to his studio. I didn't really hear what he was talking because I was invested in staring around the place like I hadn't seen a building before.

The walls were all dark and a comforting shade since I didn't like the sun anyway. It seemed like a night mode in real life.

His studio was the corner most, he typed the passcode in and stood aside gesturing for me to walk in, followed by him. He hung up the phone call and put his phone aside, switching the AC on. He sat behind the monitor while he switched it on and I went through my inbox.

"So, how have you been?", his deep tone, made me look up and I fidgeted to put my eyes on something other then him while he turned his chair around to face me.

"I have been okay-ish, like the projects I'm doing I'm satisfied with them so I guess it's kinda okay", I said and regretted it immediately, I don't even talk like this and he knows it.

"Not the work c'mon, you, your boyfriend, family, other things?", a lose smile hung on his lips and I looked at him. How can someone look like that?

"No boyfriend because you know no one can put up with this profession. I haven't slept in three days so I'm fucking annoyed and the work is too much that I don't have time for other things", I shrugged and he chuckled. I didn't want to think about guys, I barely had time for myself. Filmmaking was a time bound profession.

"I relate, trust me I do", he turned his chair back around, his eyes on the computer screen and I looked at him. I could see why he could relate, I mean of course he didn't had time either. I knew idol schedules enough to know how these things go. "Why didn't you come that day?", he asked me and my insides twisted.

"I was hoping you don't bring it up", I said in a small voice.

"Why not? I waited for you", he said without looking at me and I threw my head back on the couch thinking of the time when he'd asked me out officially and I didn't make it. "At least I deserve to know what was more important that you didn't make it", he looked at me and I closed my eyes shut.

"I had a flight, I got an exclusive food show travel experience with discovery and it was too good for an opportunity to miss", I let it out and took a breath in. I knew I could never leave work for a guy, any guy, or anyone as a matter of fact and as much as I'd thought about it on the plane...it all seemed for the better. He wasn't the kind of guy I could've had my regular thing with and I was too young to be serious.

"It was a good show", he told me. I could feel his eyes on me and I didn't flinch. I didn't regret it but his words made me feel guilty. My head was on the headrest of the sofa I sat on and my eyes were closed. My subconscious could feel his curious gaze on me.

"Look away Namjoon", I said and I could feel his gaze was still on me.

"Why didn't you call me when you got back?", he asked me and I looked at him.

"I didn't because our cultures differ, everything is poles apart--what's the point of discussing it now?", I asked him, slightly annoyed. He and I separately needed to focus on our careers and he knew it too damn well.

"Okay", he turned around again as his monitor showed a circle indicating that the programme he'd launched was loading. "It does makes me feel better that my better position in life doesn't changes your opinion on me. Quiet comforting", he said, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice but I chose to ignore it. The last thing I'd be doing is fueling this feeling in him by discussing this useless thing which wouldn't make any difference whatsoever.

"Is this the reason you wanted me to do this project with you?", I asked him and he swiftly turned his chair around.

"No, I don't take all this for granted. I love the stuff you do. I'm pretty updated thanks to how active you're on your social media", he smiled and I couldn't shook the thought of seeing my psychotic episodes on my Instagram, Twitter...everywhere. I'm pretty weird out there.

"I love it, the stories", he flased his dimple smile before turning his chair around again and I felt his warmth, like he meant what he said.

For a second I was taken aback with how tall he was from me and how good he looked, he'd always looked good but he was more mature now and much more reserved. "I'll be calling you often because I won't send it for pre-production without your say on the concept", I told him.

"I'll look forward to a lot of calls", he said. "I'm sorry this is taking a while", he added quickly and for some reason I couldn't look away from him, whose back was visible to me.

"No, take your time", I said, crossing my arms against my chest. I really wished he was a regular guy just making music but then I didn't. I wouldn't want someone to wish that for me. He'd earned all of it and I knew it.

"Look away ___", he said slowly. I could feel his grin through his words and I looked away shaking my head right and left softly. "It's, yeah it's playing", he turned around as the music filled in the empty atmosphere.

It was a slow song with a really fast rap. It was how Namjoon was, he contradicted himself too much. I instantly knew it was his writing from the way the words went and the wordplay came into role. I couldn't help but analyze the song because I was supposed to shoot and sketch a music video for it and at times like this I didn't really get to enjoy the art for the art and I hated it.

"How was it?", he asked me, his eyes fixated on me as the music faded. I wanted it to last.

"The only problem with it is that it ends", I flashed a smlie at him and he shook his head throwing it back.

"That's too corny even for you", Namjoon rolled his eyes but I was being serious. "You know I appreciate heavy critics", he said.

"I didn't find anything to criticize, the writing is great, the composition fits and it has a catchy vibe to it. I think I would listen a song like that on a drive or something? In your case a bicycle but yeah! It's a good song", I summarized my opinion. "Do you like want a trendy video?", I asked him.

"Anything that you want to do with it", he said and I gently nodded. Since it was given to me, I couldn't stop thinking about what to do with it.

"Can you stop thinking about it while you're with me ___?", he chuckled and I looked at him taken aback for a second and then nodded with a soft smile pasted on my lips.

"Your fashion sense has improved", I remarked.

"You look casual", he teased me.

"I, I've no fashion sense. I just wear whatever is there", I told him.

"I don't think so, your Instagram says different", he said.

"It's for the show Namjoon", I said.

"You're really not the type to do that, please don't deceive me", he beamed before he turned his chair around again to minimize the current tabs on the computer.

"You're the last person I'd be deceiving--", my words were cut from an incoming call from one of the producers of one of the shows I was working on. "I need to take this", I told him and answered the call while he just gave me a gentle nod in response.

The producer had informed me about the issues related to casting and the final draft of the script and I knew I had to go.

"Guess I'll see you later, bye", Namjoon said warmly as he smiled at me. The thing was he just knew and that always stuck somewhere.

"Bye", I left.

________________

"I, for one, disagree. C'mon how do you even call it an end?", I threw my hands in the air as we discussed it for the millionth time. I liked Su-ho but his thoughts on GOT made me want to kill him. He is the only person I knew who was satisfied with how it ended.

"I think it was okay, c'mon, you have to consider that the novels didn't end and as compared to that I think it was pretty good", Su-ho claimed while he sat on the bean bag in front of me, pushing it comfortably.

"Don't even start with the novels--", my words were interrupted with the sound of the doorbell, "--they didn't even do a good job interpreting it and I am offended by that. Look there novels", I pointed at my bookshelf, showing him my GOT collection which he knew as I opened the door and my head bumped against Namjoon's chest as he took a step in.

He chuckled as he held the back of my head with one hand and pressed my forehead with the other and rubbed it gently to ease the pain.

"What's uh, what's that? Is it iron", I mocked, pointing at his chest while he let me go from his grip and took his shoes off.

"It can be", he said. "But why were you jumping around so enthusiastically?", he asked me as he seated on the couch in front of Su-ho, as he greeted him and Su-ho greeted him back.

"Game of Thrones heavy discussions", I sighed. "This is Su-ho who's illustrating the storyboard", I told Namjoon.

Su-ho was starstruck and it seemed like it'd take him a good minute to recover and Namjoon was obviously used to it. I didn't call him at the office because a lot of people would want to see him then and it could be exhausting plus he'd a time limit on his hands.

"You know him, ___?", Su-ho widened his eyes at me and I nodded, suppressing my laughter seeing his chaotic ass behave like this.

"A little", I said and I could feel Namjoon's gaze on me. "Maybe a lot", I rephrased. I could see by the way Su-ho looked at me that he needed answers. "Coffee?", I asked Namjoon.

"Oh yeah", he replied and I stood up. "I've thought of two concepts, Su-ho please brief him on it and if you want anything differently Namjoon, you can tell him", I told him as I marched towards the kitchen.

Should I use the regular coffee mugs or should I use the better ones? I mean it doesn't matter anyway but still, it kind of does? I don't know. It just comes to me, the over thinking.

Ah.

I could hear him and Su-ho talking about the concepts faintly and I was low-key proud because I did work hard on them. I opened the cabinet to take out the better coffee mugs.

This is what happens when you stop drinking milk and stop growing up. I rested my hands on the kitchen pavement thinking about how many shoes with heels I'd because of my height.

I wasn't very short but I wasn't my desired height too. It was sad. I was the right person to sell the tonics concerning height because my insecurity would make me buy it. I exhaled heavily and turned around to find Namjoon behind me.

"Let me", my hips pressed against the marble pavement while his body gently pressed against my front, I could spot the mole on his neck while he calmly took the box of mugs out. "Okay?", he whispered softly and I looked on without responding.

"Thanks", I told him, hoping he'd get away from me because this had me feeling some type of way. I won't admit what type of way. That makes it worse.

"Anytime", he clicked his lips, taking a few steps back as I stirred the coffee and poured it in three cups. Should've used regular ones.

"I like the quotes on that wall", he said as I handed him his cup, taking the other two. A wall of my house was covered in post-it notes and other stuff. Some print outs of Van Gogh and Frida's works alongside other things.

"Yeah that? Thanks", I said, as I gave the cup to Su-ho. "Did you decide on something?", I asked, as I sat down and Namjoon just beside me.

"Yeah, the first one. It was kind of okay, he made some alterations so I would send it to you by...maximum tomorrow", Su-ho told me. "But why did you call him here for just this?", he asked me.

"You seem so concerned about his whereabouts", I glared Su-ho . "I told him I could just email him but he insisted on doing it in person", I looked at Namjoon who took a long sip from his coffee.

"Yeah I did, don't worry I was absolutely free", Namjoon smiled at Su-ho and I could see Su-ho fanboy-ing.

"You're so in line today", I pressed my words.

"Shut up", Su-ho eyed me. I wrapped my hands around the coffee mug feeling its warmth.

After I talked to Namjoon for a while about the shoot and he explained to me about their company procedure and how they usually did things. I didn't like doing music videos or commercials, there's a lot of time you're bound by what the music video demands and you've to stick with that so that was that. I usually preferred either cinema like movies or dramas, I hadn't done much but I had done a few and travel shows were my preference.

"I'll see you next time then", Su-ho politely remarked looking at Namjoon and he smiled and gently bowed his head. I walked with him up-to the door. "I didn't, what the hell, you could've given me a heads up?", Su-ho whispered slowly to me as I leaned against the door.

"I didn't knew you were a fan", I said and he playfully hit me on my arm.

"I still can't believe it, you've to answer my hot questions next time", he said and I nodded.

"Okay okay", I closed the door shut behind me, taking a seat on the far side of the sofa me and Namjoon were seated on. He was scanning my bookshelf and I was looking at him.

"Literally 70% of it is fiction", he said. I read a lot of fiction and he read a lot of nonfiction.

"You should read fiction", I said and he looked at me slightly pissed.

"I do read fiction just not thar much", he pointed at my bookshelf. "If you've to recommend one, shoot", he said.

"Recommend, uh, the secrets of happiness", I said randomly and his face sunk in annoyance. "It's not a book talking about literal secrets of happiness, it has a story", I told him.

"Ah okay...I will try reading that. Let me take your copy", he said.

"No", I said back in a split second.

"I won't lose it, c'mon, ___", he said. I couldn't believe his testimony on not losing it.

"Fine, but it's annotated. You'll owe me big time if you lose it", I said and he nodded vigorously.

"Your place is great", he said looking around the house and I couldn't see why, I mean yeah maybe but not that I find it great if I think from his point of view.

"I'm barely here anyway. I pay rent for no reason", I kept the empty mug in my hand on the glass table in front of us.

"That was your friend though, Su-ho?", Namjoon asked as he kept his cup, followed by me.

"Oh yeah! I met him for work but then it's been a while since I know him, it's been years actually and he's a friend now", I said thinking about Su-ho. I don't know why I bothered explaining. It's been a good five years since Namjoon and I hadn't been in touch and there was a little catching up to do.

"You've always had a lot of friends, don't you", he sighed as he sat cross legged on the sofa facing me. I do have plenty friends honestly.

"Kind of", I shrugged. His gaze on me made me sit back in a more cautious way as I fixed my posture. "Namjoon...", I called out his name when the doorbell rung and I was irritated. "Give me a second", I stood up and walked up-to the main door.

It was my neighbor who's mother had left their house keys with me and he was here to take it back. He thanked me for keeping it and walked up to his own flat which was in front of mine.

I closed the door shut and Namjoon was standing by the balcony seeing a cactus I had grown since I couldn't grow any other plant because I was never home to take care of them in case.

"It's cute", he said as he picked the potted plant and stared at it for a little while and I stood behind him and watched him see it.

"You know your pupils dilate when you see plants", I said and he smiled to himself. He kept the cactus back in its resting place and stared at me. "What?", I asked him.

"You were going to say something", he said, his voice sounded deeper then usual for a second and I licked my bottom lip in haste.

"Oh that, you know the alterations you made? I will directly mail it to the staff and maybe cc you because it won't need a second check anyway. I've to get this done a little early since I've--", he turned towards me and I took a step back but there was barely any space and my back was pressed against the wall, "--what is it?", I asked but it came out as a whisper.

"Here", he dragged his index finger across my bottom lip and there was something on my lip. I didn't really see what was on there because of his presence so close to me. My heartbeat had fastened and I could feel it. Something I didn't want to feel.

"Thanks, I guess", I said slowly and he flashed his dimple smile at me and in that moment he seemed the opposite of the dominant he was a few seconds ago.

"Do you know you look really good?", he said, as his fingers ran across my ear touching the piercings one by one. I regretted having three all of a sudden. "And I didn't intended to do this but ___ I uh", he bent over a little, his lips a few inches away from my ear and his breath was falling on my neck.

"Namjoon", I said, trying to not look at him. I knew damn well I couldn't be able to control myself.

"Hmm", his voice was so small and I could feel goosebumps all over my neck. His gaze on me was strong and I had jitters in my stomach.

"I, uh--let's not okay", I put my hands on his shoulder as he pulled me more closer with a jolt and I gasped.

"Do you really not want to?", he asked me. It was a while since I was in this close proximity of someone like this but my subconscious kept telling me not to. "I don't understand what you find so undesirable about me", he took a few steps back and looked away.

What?

"Do you think I find you undesirable?", I asked him, pressing my lips suppressing my smile. I couldn't get how could he change roles in a span of few seconds.

"Yeah, it's pretty evident really", he sighed, looking at the the far side of the sky at the horizon and I saw him sulking.

"It's not that, are you fucking dumb? It's just you know you shouldn't start things you can't take care of", I said. For some reason I've always felt a little hesitant with him. "But you're desirable enough", I added.

"Sudden validation from you, ah", he clicked his lips in mockery and I felt bad. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was playing hard to get. I didn't feel competent enough in my heart. "Let me kiss you", he said, taking a few steps closer breaking the chain of my thoughts and I hated being so much in control and feeling a little out of place.

I was back to where I was a few seconds ago, me cornered and he put his lips on mine and my body automatically responded. He took over me in a second. My hands rested on his back and clutched the fabric. His hands travelled below my hips as he pulled me upwards and my legs wrapped around his waist. He didn't stop kissing me for one second and I didn't want him to, as he pressed his mouth harder on mine and I bit back a moan. I could feel the heat in my body and every vein seemed to electrify. He walked me up-to my bedroom like he knew which suddenly felt foreign to me as he laid me on the bed, breaking the kiss and I was breathless, panting for air.

I didn't had any resort in me to stop. I didn't want him to stop. I couldn't care more about whatever that had me concerned for a while. He watched me look at him and his lips curved in a smirk. "Should I stop?", he teased me taking a seat on the edge of the bed and I looked away from him to the right side, scoffing.

I pushed myself up, my hands at the hem of the lose white t-shirt I'd on and for a second I hesitated at the fact that he must've seen better flesh than mine but I pulled it upwards exposing myself in front of him as his eyes went everywhere. "Do you want to stop?", I asked him, as I crawled over to him. He didn't object as I sat on his lap and took his face in my hands. I looked in his eyes. He looked beautiful. I traced the outline of his skull, his jaw as I pushed his hair locks that were on his forehead behind. "Do you want to stop Namjoon?", I asked him again as he held me tight, giving me my answer.

He tugged at my neck with his mouth leaving a trail of gentle kisses down and I could feel my nipples startlingly prominent beneath the black lightweight bra I had on. I clutched his hair as he bit my neck suddenly and I gasped.

He pushed me on to him, nearer but there was barely any space for me to come close and I could feel him all over. He messily kissed me before groping my bottom and I-I cut a breath in. He would take turns and be gentler a second and rough the another. "Namjoon", I called out gasping which fueled him even more. He looked at me and smiled proudly at how he had me without doing much.

He flicked the straps of my bra shoving it down exposing my breasts and I could feel my nipples harden to the point it was painful. I wanted him. I wanted him to touch me, more. The way my body responded to his touch was almost funny, how quick, how wet.

I patiently unbuttoned his shirt and stripped it off of him while he looked at me with a gaze I couldn't quite make anything of, he just looked at me while he let me work on him. My hands touched his chest and my eyes examined his torso, his skin was warm and his gaze on me gave me confidence like he wanted me back as much I wanted him.

I was forgetting my own desperation for his touch as my hand traveled behind his back, trailing down to his spine and he looked at me as he cut a sharp breath in and I felt good seeing him giving in to me. His arms surrounded mine unclasping my bra in a second and he threw it off on the floor.

I half expected him to grab me and grope my breast but he swept me in his arms as his vaguely pink mouth pressed against mine and instead of hastily grabbing me, his mouth simply rested against mine and it was worse, much more intoxicating. I, on instinct coiled my arms against his neck.

As my tongue demanded entrance and he smiled before letting me, and in a second, roles were reversed, the romantic was gone. He took control and pressed his mouth harder on me with his thumb and finger pressing my nipple and my nails dug deeper in his neck. "Joon...", I on instinct called out, as I gasped for breath but he didn't let me.

He was hard against me and I grinded next to him which seemed to please him while he left my mouth, burning with a wanting for more while my sex clenched as he took control of my body putting his arms around my back and they were free to go anywhere. I wouldn't dare stop him.

A second later, he laid me on the bed and hovered over me before taking my shorts off in a whirl and pushed my underwear off me that it didn't seem reusable. I anticipated his actions but he pushed a thumb into my bottom without no warning and I clutched the sheets, a yell escaping my mouth. My fingers curled meanwhile his other arm grabbed my breast cupping it and a second later his forefinger and middle finger slipped inside of me and my grip on the sheets tightened.

"Shh", he hissed in my ear and I hadn't realized a moan had escaped my mouth. My whole body rocked in less then a minute and I couldn't control my voice, I gasped for breath and I moaned even louder then before. "I didn't take you for a screamer ___", Namjoon seemed amused while embarrassment washed over me as I laid exposed in front of him.

"Let me go down on you", I told him and he looked taken aback as I pushed myself up.

"Do you really want to?", he asked and I shifted closer to him, placing a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I would love to", I told him. "Do you want me to?", I asked him.

"Yeah, I mean yeah", he said when his phone rang echoing in the room and his face flushed into irritation as he looked at me and I nodded gesturing him to take it. He took it out of his pocket and answered it. With every word he spoke, his irritation grew. He hung up the phone call. "Where's the wardrobe?", he asked me and my eyes pointed behind him.

Namjoon opened my wardrobe and took out a very lose t-shirt of his choice from my stack of comfortable clothes. He held my arms and slipped the t-shirt on me, pulling me close. He stroked my face and he smiled in my face which forced me to smile as well.

"Am I suppose to expect something from you or should I forget this?", I asked him as his fingers tucked the few strands of my hair behind my ear.

"You're supposed to expect everything, don't dare forget it", he whispered in my ear, nibbling on it and I couldn't help but giggle. "I want to talk to you but I've to go now and I hate it", he smiled at me.

"Okay, go", I told him and he chuckled before letting me off him and he wore his shirt back on.

After seeing him off and taking a shower, I laid back on the couch in the living room thinking about everything that had happened. I didn't regret it, I wasn't thinking much about it anyway.

The guys I'd sex with or made out with, I disliked them because of their narcissism. I appreciated my ability to find guys that were a-grade assholes. I've always had this feeling that I am lacking in some sense with other people. I look normal, like I should but I get this insecurity when taking my clothes off.

I didn't knew what Namjoon thought about it and asking him would be weird. No one who knows me like him would think I am this insecure or anxious about this stuff but then a major part of it has to do with my aura, I guess?

________________

I took a bite of the sandwich that I held in my hand as I walked around the second set just nearby to the first one. I stood afar, taking a good look, even though the storyboard fits the sights I still need to frame out a rough sketch work in my head.

I took another bite staring at the beach and the path to it and then back to the set that we'd build up by man power. It was pretty accurate in my eyes but I wanted to hear from my assistant director.

I took the walkie talkie out from the pocket of my denim and pressed the centre button, "Jae-chan, where are you?"

In a second he reverted, "Ah sunbae I am near the gripper".

"Come to the road that leads to the beach", I said, before shoving the walkie talkie down in my pocket.

The sea met the sky at the far point of the horizon and how the world is full of these illusions which are not real we know but we still believe. After all there's beauty in things that you don't get. Vastness maybe?

Sea and sky — the two melancholic blues.

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan broke the chain of my thoughts and I glanced at him before looking at the sea. His breath was heavy, I could tell he ran here.

"You could have walked, Chan-ah", I said, smiling. He was really young and passionate about filmmaking but also a little silly. He's cute.

"Ah it's okay. Did you need something?", he asked politely and I shook my head. I liked the input of many people on the same thing, it showed the number of opinions that could centre around one thing that you make in a different context which is then perceived in another.

"Do you think this is accurate in terms of the story board?", I asked him and he seemed lost in thought.

"I would say slightly better because the storyboard is still animation and this is real so I would say better. I'm pretty sure it'll be good sunbae", he told me and I could feel a smile flush on my lips. "You are nervous, aren't you?", he asked me.

"Yeah", I wrinkled my nose, turning around to walk off. I patted Jae Chan's back and he started walking with me.

"You don't have to be, and oh, he's here", he said assuring me and I knew who he meant by he.

My mind automatically went to the day in my apartment. Namjoon had messaged me after but he got busier with his work and I am not a text-er plus I'd a lot of things to do before I left Korea. It was, I didn't knew anything and I didn't want to think about it. I hoped he'd pretend nothing happened, please. But I knew he won't.

I sighed and as I entered the main set, around the vanity and food truck, the manager and Namjoon's staff members greeted me. After that, I mean impractically I wanted earth to open and swallow me. Living is hard anyway.

I'd a flight on the weekend, I'd to pack and I'd to get new boots but I'm just dumb because I'm trying to think of other things. I need a new nail paint, do I? I looked at my nails which were painted black. Maybe grey?

"Sunbae?", Jae Chan shook me and I looked at him. He gestured me to look up front and Namjoon was right there looking like Namjoon.

"Hi", I awkwardly waved at him.

"Hi", he flashed his dimple smile at me. His dimple smile hits me.

"You can get the makeup and hair done, I've a few things to recheck", I excused myself. This is awkward. This is so awkward. I hate it.

Even though I had that awkwardness lingering around but we were nearing to the end of the shoot which went really good because everyone worked so hard. It was mostly one-takes and the lighting supported the whole setting making it so easier for us to finish.

Moreover, it was a while since I had done a music video so it felt good being back on a set like this. Namjoon looked really good with the styling and although I knew the outfits pre-shoot, he still looked better then I'd imagined him to look which enhanced the whole vibe of the music video. He owned earthly tones.

That's why casting and styling is so important. Very much. Makes a gigantic difference.

"What's wrong with you?", I didn't notice he was standing next to me with a small fan in his hands while we prepped for the last shot.

"What's wrong with me?", I asked him, as I adjusted the frame in the main camera. I didn't want this conversation especially right now, especially here.

"I mean...you knowww?", I could feel his stare while I shifted the camera, something is wrong with this.

"I don't know", I said, without looking at him. I was unintentionally making him mad and nothing else.

"I was really scared that you'd say this and see, I mean, why can't you behave normal when I mention anything about us?", he hissed near me and I looked around. Luckily there was no one in our proximity to hear this conversation.

"I-I, Namjoon", I exclaimed, vaguely pointing at the setting hoping we could do this later and I could explain that I would love us but he needs to understand that I won't even be in Korea as much as he thinks I would be and that's why it won't work out.

"I don't care", he eyed me.

"I do. I care, okay? There's no us to begin with and I know I was stupid enough to ask you what I should expect out of, what would you call it, we made out. That's that", I tried being really slow and I could feel annoyance in his sight.

"Made out! Okay, okay fine. I can't believe I deal with you. You're the one who doesn't text or call or even respond to it and that's bare minimum ___", he pondered and I internally rolled my eyes.

I was leaving on the weekend. I was always leaving. That's it. "I don't have to and I have a life Namjoon. I've been working non stop all this time. I don't expect you to understand", I said, standing up from my seat while I called for the head DOP from the walkie talkie.

"You don't want to be understood ___", Namjoon said, grabbing me from my arm and stopping me. He wasn't wrong. A few eyes snapped and I forced a smile immediately. "I like you, I like you a lot. Deal with it", he walked past me.

Deal with it.

As if.

Very abruptly, the last shot rolled in and it was over. The music video was done in a day. It was originally a two day sketch but we had to narrow it down to one day because of Namjoon's schedule and it was worrisome because it did seem impossible but things went smoothly and it was successfully over.

I told Jae Chan to wrap the filming site, though most of it was done while I was present. I picked my bag from a table to leave, kept right ahead from the vanity. Namjoon had left, I guess. I wasn't sure because after the last shot he was angry. He had his jaw clenched all that time, he barely managed to keep it out on the music video.

He was like this, his anger was pretty evident and that hadn't changed.

I like you. I like you a lot.

I couldn't wrap my head around that thought. Did he like me all this time? It sounded pretty crazy to me. I had never thought about anything with Namjoon. He was a friend I could like but I didn't, I had never expected anything out of my acquaintance with him anyway.

"You ate?", his deep voice made me look at him who stood at the steps of the vanity. He hadn't left yet.

"No", I said. He had changed into his normal clothes, the makeup was gone but he still looked great. His natural complexion was shining as the set lights fell onto his face. It made me surer how Namjoon needed someone who could be there rather then somebody who's never there.

"Come eat something", he said calmly. He looked much composed then before.

"I am not hungry", I stated just when he darted towards me. He held me by my forearm, dragging me into the vanity which was empty except for us. A few dishes were laid out on the table in front of the small couch.

"Eat and leave", he said, taking a seat on one of the chairs in front of the mirrors fidgeting with his phone while I quietly sat on the couch. I just wanted it to be over but I'd no appetite so I kept staring at the couple of Italian dishes which were pasta, carbonara I guess, rissoto and also jjangmyeong. "Just eat anything ___", he said, without bothering to look at me.

"I don't really have an appetite", I said, throwing my head back and looking at the ceiling of the vanity.

"What you've is a habit of skipping meals", he eyed me.

I looked at him. "Do you remember everything? Like literally everything?", I asked him as curiosity brimmed in my eyes.

"You don't?", he asked me back. "Well, for me, yeah I do. I did remember every thing but I should probably forget now. I didn't really asked to work with you because I wanted something but I can't say I didn't hope", he locked his phone and kept it on the space in front him. "I mean, we did had something. We did have something a few days ago. You can't exactly call me a friend and I've never seen you as one. The moment you walked in trying to fix the mess on the set since then till now I can't say I didn't hope you'd look at me the same way", he said, bringing all the memories back alive, but it was true, I never looked at him the way he'd wanted me to, hell, I couldn't believe it one bit. "It's true", he said, as if he just read my mind.

It was, it didn't made sense to me. How could he? Why would he? I uh, I think shit's wrong with me because even now I can't seem to focus on someone who confessed their feelings and that someone being Namjoon from all people.

I remember when I was one of the assistant directors under the director for one of the most low-key and low budget project. They didn't had many resources and our firm wasn't doing well either. We always had to come up with hacks, unknown locations for shooting...it was always so hard. We didn't had any respect in the industry.

It was two companies in one boat at the end of bankruptcy and we were so young and such good friends. I knew the rest of the members too but I kind of had a certain vibe with Namjoon. He could get me without having to speak.

I locked at him, his face was fixated on me and I could like him, in fact I did love him not romantically, I just did. I had a lot of love for him. He was caring for the people around him and I loved talking to him. He never once made anyone feel like he was a celebrity back then and a global celebrity now well yeah. He did deserve someone who could be here for him.

He stood up and walked towards me and my eyes followed him. He took a seat next to me and I could see he picked a bowl up but I didn't see which one because I couldn't stop looking at him. Namjoon took a significant amount and extended it to me and I looked at the noodles for a second and then at him. He just nodded and I ate it.

It was good.

"Thanks", I said, wiping the corners of my mouth with my fingers.

"Do you want me to feed you all the way or can you eat your own?", he asked me.

"I will eat", I told him and he gave me the bowl so I could eat on my own. "You ate?", I asked him and he instantly nodded.

"You're going somewhere, aren't you?", he asked me and I felt as if I've just been struck with something.

"Hmm", I said, my mouth almost filled. "And, I...I want to tell you something like adults and clear it. Namjoon you know my work and I am always not here, never. It's useless. Trust me on this, it's not like that but you know you'll need someone beside you and I can't be the one", I told him, calmly, before gulping water down.

"I know that but I'm okay with it. In fact, we would go hand in hand better because I can't take you out on exotic dates as well. This is what you get", he vaguely gestured at the vanity and I chuckled and he warmly smiled at me.

After a second, I spoke much seriously then before, "It will be hard and you know that. It'll be frustrating. You could hate me".

"If you've tired it with someone before, I am not exactly happy knowing this, but you shouldn't compare me with some random dude with a peculiar taste in leather clothing", he rolled his eyes, shifting his back comfortably.

"Hey! Don't be mean just because you see stuff on my Instagram", I scoffed and he maintained his long face.

"No really, what do you take me for? You think you won't have time for me? I won't have time for you", he went on.

"Namjoon", I dragged his name. His tendency to be sarcastic at odd moments is unmatched.

"Don't call my name like that", he stared at my eyes.

"Like what?", I asked him.

"Like you can love me", he said.

"I...you don't have to be like this", I said, keeping the empty bowl on the table.

"Give me a chance then, try it out. I would wait for you I promise", Namjoon took my hand in his and covered it with his warmth.

"Will I be able to...wait?", I looked away from him, thinking about it so hard.

"___ don't think too much. I promise, we'll be fine", he said, his hands travelling to my waist and before he could grab it. I screeched closer to him. I cupped his face and attached my lips to his, while his hands held on my body.

________________

My relationship with Namjoon was better then I imagined it. I tried my best to be there for him and he was surprisingly almost there for me but it wasn't exactly easy.

It was months and months of hardships and Namjoon was more needy then I thought him to be, he needed a lot of assurance. I don't understand the notion that he holds of everyone wanting me so he needs to be extra careful. I still don't get that his insecure ass doesn't trusts his own members, he won't let me meet them at all.

He was really different. He shifted from dominant to romantic in one second. I loved that. I kind of missed it so much.

He held my hand I could feel it by the way his skin felt against mine, he whirled me around and in a second his hand rested on my waist as he urged me to walk next to him. He was in a perfect disguise and I looked at him. I could tell he was smiling beneath his black mask.

"See, this is why I don't trust other guys! How could you let someone do this to you in the midst of the road in a foreign country?", he asked me.

"No stranger would confidently do this to anyone in a foreign country", I playfully hit him on his leg and he stopped, pretending to be gravely hurt. "I can't believe you", I looked at him as I went with his act. I supported him in standing completely. In a second, he intertwined his fingers with mine.

"I missed you", he softly whispered in my ear.

"I missed you too", I whispered back, softly. I pulled him in an empty alley and pulled his mask down. "I need you to do something", I told him, nibbling on his ear and I could feel my skin feel the heat that it yearned for since a couple of months before him going on tour.

"Right now?", he asked surprised.

"Yeah, right now", I said and I could feel him harden against my pelvis.

"You are...so, not right now. Let's go to your hotel room. I'm still famous", he pulled me closer and I chuckled. He turned me around, pulling his mask down, he kissed me hard. His mouth pressed against mine. I held him tightly and he gasped. "I love you", he softly said before pulling his mask up.

"I, you", I held his hand again.

#bts #bts fanfic #kim namjoon #namjoon #namjoon fic #namjoon smut #namjoon fanfic

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