#while both characters always have choices every step they take

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

The more I see on my dash about how much more sense it makes for Sam and Tucker to be endgame the more annoyed I am that it didn't happen.

Also My two cents on how Sam and Tucker make more sense as a couple than Sam and Danny is that the outcome (Happy couple with half-dead best friend third wheel) mirrors the college trio but would show how much Vlad and Danny differ from each other despite their similar circumstances. Where Vlad becoming a halfa ended the college trio's friendship, the everlasting trio's bond grew stronger as Sam and Tucker stuck by Danny's side and did their best to help him out, so where Jack and Maddie hooked up and Vlad resented it, Danny would probably be surprised at first but be happy for them.

[bonesandchalamet]

you can’t catch me now — coriolanus snow

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

summary: when you want the plinth prize, and so does he, you’ll do anything in your power to make sure snow doesn’t land on top.

warnings: slightly unedited/ minor grammatical errors + snow isn’t that much of an asshole + minor tension between characters + no graphic details of death + SPOILERS TO THE BALLAD OF SONGBIRDS AND SNAKES!

a/n: typically don’t like to write for villains… but that movie has been on my mind since I saw it 😅

when the plinth prize had a minor change in plans the only person you could look towards was him. snow. he had to have an idea, but by the reaction that took place, the way he shifted in his seat, he’d have had no clue. this must have been some sick joke. but the hunger games was all about discipline and viewers, it’s no shock the plinth prize money stakes were upped.

you’d have risen to the top and fought coriolanus snow every moment you could. academics were easy, but this? mentoring someone to win a game? this was a true test.

leaving the capital, leaves crunch beneath your feet as your pace quickens. how was this fair? to throw children in an arena to fight for their lives, that was one unfair choice the capital made, but this? was a cruel punishment.

you can hear his feet against the pavement. his pace was always rather faster than yours, which is why you’re surprised he hadn’t caught up to you now. you’d had booked it out the capital the second you were dismissed, but the dread of the next few days still lingered the air like bad perfume.

“y/n, y/n—“

“corio,” you finally snap. turning on your heel to face him, he stops. the air in his lungs catches when he sees the tears against your blush colored cheeks. you held your fight for the rights of the district close to your chest, similarly to sejanus; but you’d only ever been the one to push snow to the limits and make him fight back. tomorrow, your tribute could die and Coriolanus would win once again. it wasn’t fair how snow seemed to always win.

“you think I’m happy about this?” his question takes you by surprise. nobody was happy about this, but coriolanus’ songbird made quite the impression with viewers. you’d expected him to gloat in your face, a typical action of his, but todays far different. there’s an eery difference to the coriolanus you saw that morning before the plinth prize was changed.

“I’d expect you to be happy about your bird gaining you views and donations—“

“she’ll die by tomorrow, y/n. your guy at least has a chance to win. he’s strong enough to take on the others. you’ve got the money in the bag.” he runs a frustrated hand through his white blond curls. his bright blue eyes stare into your soul the way they normally do. so tempting to swim in, but you fight the current. you’re stronger than that, and after all these years of fierce competition, Coriolanus was not going to get you like this.

“I know your motives, snow. sympathizing with me isn’t going to get you far.” you spit out the words, spinning back in the direction towards home. if it wasn’t for the capital traffic, and coriolanus, you’d be home by now. you’d be in bed dreading sleep while you worry awake about the next morning.

“motives? can’t we be friends for once—“

“you want my alliance so my guy doesn’t kill her. I’m always a step ahead of you.”

he scoffs. he stands inches behind you, watching you eye the traffic circle for a chance to sprint across towards the grass for the home stretch. the comforting walls of your bedroom were waiting for you, but coriolanus and rush hour were adding to your time.

“alliance? if I’d wanted an alliance I’d have asked sejanus for help, since he has the money we both don’t have.”

it’s no secret to the two of you that money was tight. it’s maybe why you both work harder than the others, because college was in their futures, and your futures were determined by the outcome of the hunger games. the first time you met Coriolanus, you knew he was just like you. tight shoes, shirt that was far too big, and an excitement for the amount of food that capital had to offer. staring into each others souls that first lecture was when you knew coriolanus was not going to be your friend.

“so then what do you want from me? because once this is all over,” you snap your head up in his direction, his blue eyes piercing into your own, you can feel his anxiety radiating off him, “you’ll go back to hating me and begging for some of that plinth money.”

—

anxiety sits at the pit of your stomach. his songbird had run to the fans leaving four remaining in the pact on the hunt for her. coriolanus sits two seats away from you, his eyes haven’t left the screen since she’d gone into hiding.

“she’ll have to come out eventually.” you snap your head in his direction for a brief second, but his don’t leave where the four attempt to get her out of the vents.

you’d be lying to say you weren’t nervous for everyone in the arena. you’d hated how they were pitted against each other for punishment, and having to mentor these people made your attachment towards the games far worse. you couldn’t eat, you couldn’t sleep, and frankly if you could, you wouldn’t watch.

there was no exact plan when you met your tribute. he’d been shaken up from the past couple of days and just wanted to survive. you couldn’t blame him, and while you worked on some strategies, it was all up to him.

“she can survive—“ his words were a second too late when the clan began to rattle the vents, using pitch forks and other weapons to get her out. the dust was too heavy for the cameras to see anything, but you’d assumed they got her out by the looks of it, and everyone held onto their seats.

she’d appeared from the dusty air in no time. running for another escape, when Dr. Gauls trick up her sleeve rattled the arena. she had a way of twisting the games, and the game seemed to last longer than she intended: enter the tank the drones were dropping off.

“what is she doing.” you move closer to coriolanus, your voice in a hushed tone so the other remaining mentors didn’t hear a thing. he’s focused on the screen, but your eyes find Dr. Gaul and her wicked smile.

“if I knew, I wouldn’t tell you anyway—“

“there’s no point in bluffing, they’ll die anyway with that tank of snakes.” your voice is strained, the words come out slithery on your tongue, coriolanus turns his head in your direction for the first time today.

his blue eyes were a different shimmer. they bleed with anxiety, and as he rises out of the chair, he pulls you closer to his chest. he carefully lowers his head down towards your ear, mouth hovering over it, “I’m so sorry, but it had to be done. I wouldn’t look if I were you.”

slowly moving backwards from his grip, you run towards the doors. time seemed to slow down. you spot Tigris, she’s rising from her seat, a smile stretched across her face as her, and other students, rush to congratulate coriolanus on his victory, you can hear him calling out your name as the doors slam behind you.

your feet carry you. the sounds of the fireworks and the honks of the cars in the traffic circle don’t phase you, but you’re running to the only place that you know. the only place that’ll play fair against coriolanus snow’s twisted games.

MONTHS LATER

“so you do win after all.”

the sound of his shoes scraping against the floor are different. you used to recognize his patterned steps, the way they scuffed the floor because the shoes he wore were too small.

turning around in your chair, you spot the new coriolanus snow. the man who fell off the face of the capital once Dr. Gaul was made aware of his cheating. now, you sit in the University library staring a different snow.

“I didn’t have to cheat for it.”

he rolls his eyes taking the seat across from you at the table. your notes are scattered amongst the table, and you look the same minus the bags you wear under your eyes. university changed you. and district twelve certainly changed him. working through the ranks to move to district two, only to be summoned by Dr. Gaul for a second chance in the capital. he arrived home yesterday, and made it his plans to find you. which wasn’t hard, since you spent all your life in this exact library anyway.

“I learned my lesson. you caught me.” he raises his hands up in defense, you spot the marks against his forearm. leaning forward, you carefully wrap your fingers around his pale skin, “snake bite?”

“they aren’t friendly in the wild.”

a chuckle escapes your lips as you release his arm from your light grip, “they were friendly to Lucy gray.”

“well she’s not so friendly to me anymore.”

“oh corio, you should know cheating for a girl never makes a good impression.” you smile brightly. leaning back into your seat, you get a better look at him. the buzzcut suits him, bringing his bright blue eyes more to the center of his looks.

he exhales a deep sigh nodding in agreement, “I’m a changed man, thanks to you. you taught me a lot.”

“so what are you doing home, snow? I thought you were out of here for twenty years.” at least those were the rumors you heard. nobody spoke of sejanus or coriolanus much anymore, and while you worried if tattling was the right thing to do, you’re happy to see he came back a better version of himself.

“you didn’t hear?” he asks. shaking your head you gesture for him to continue, “I’ll be working closely with Dr. Gaul. I’m back to the capital, and I’m back to mess with you.”

you wish he could’ve seen how far you rolled your eyes back, but he was long gone after that, leaving you alone to study once again. you knew Coriolanus wouldn’t last twenty years away from you. not since he was practically in love with you.

[starboyshoyo]

Tropes-To-Lovers

Characters: All NRC boys x fem!reader (seperately)

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Genre: fluff

What were you to the NRC boys, before you were lovers?

Includes: Childhood friends to lovers, best friends to lovers, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers.

Childhood Friends to Lovers

Trey Clover the boy next door

Everyone and their mother knows Trey Clover, the golden boy in your little provincial town. Sweet, intelligent, and he can bake? He’s a heartthrob in every definition of the word. But Trey’s only ever had eyes for you, his parents’ best friends’ daughter and the girl next door.

Joined at the hip from the moment you met, you’ve done it all together- but Trey’s been away at NRC for three years. You were sure he would move to the city after getting a taste of the wider world. So you’re caught off-guard when he returns to take over his family’s bakery, eight inches taller than you remember.

His eyes crinkle at the corners when he sees you, and you can feel the firmness of muscles under his shirt when you launch yourself at him, embracing him tightly. He has to bend down to hug you now, you realize. And his face is sharper now, jaw angular instead of the soft cheeks you were used to. When did that happen?

And when did he get so handsome?

Leona Kingscholar betrothed to his brother

Leona has only ever had one friend- you, the heir from the neighboring kingdom. It shouldn’t be a problem to love you the way he does, but the stars in the sky had other plans, it seemed. Because from the moment you were born, you were meant to marry Falena.

Leona has long-since learned that no matter what he does, he’ll never be enough to win the public’s love. It didn’t matter that he knew you never had feelings for Falena, or that Falena was seeing someone else in secret. His brother will be king, not him. He’ll watch you walk down the aisle towards him, and then he’ll go back to his room and take a nap, and tell himself that he won’t be upset. That’s just the way life will be.

One day, while napping behind a curtain in the royal library, he catches wind of something so very interesting. Your parents arrived in the kingdom that morning, bearing news: Falena’s engagement has been peaceably broken, by your own choice, nonetheless. It’s a huge, life-changing decision and so a formal dinner is being held, to re-discuss the terms of the treaty. Leona wants to snap you up right away to be his, but he has to bide his time. For now, he’ll meet your eye across the banquet table, scowl softening a little. He should have known that he has always been king in your heart.

Silver childhood soulmates

Right person, right place, right time. Rarely did the universe ever align so beautifully. From your first meeting at the tender age of five to the time you were accepted into NRC, Silver has always been by your side.

He’s the first thing you see when you wake up in the mornings and the final good night you say before going to sleep. When small birds land on your desk and deposit gifts of acorns and flowers to you, you know exactly who they were from and who was thinking of you at the moment. And when you look at your handsome knight, you can’t help but imagine him by your side, every step of the way for the rest of your life.

Silver is more than just your best friend and first love. He is your person, through and through.

Best Friends to Lovers

Epel Felmier first friend, first love

You met Epel on the first day of school, getting beat up by a blonde upperclassman in the hallway. Much to the surprise of both boys, you jumped in to help him- pulling him off the ground and scolding the taller boy, who merely scoffed and wandered off. Though Epel’s ego was a bit bruised, he was grateful to you for helping him.

Epel became your constant companion after that. You could listen to him talk for hours while laying on the floor of your dorm room, a bag of apple chips in hand. His roguish accent and mischievous jokes charm you a little more each day, making him more than just the rough-hewn boy you met at the entrance ceremony not long ago.

His grandparents know all about you from the letters he sends home. Even in ink, they can sense his lovestruck heart. They had felt the same way when they started courting all those years ago. The Felmier family are fools in love, it seems. You would call him your best friend if someone asked, but Epel wants to be so much more.

Ace Trappola best friends to lovers

It’s pathetic how fast Ace changed his tune. The first time he met you, he was jeering you for being a magicless human. Now, he’s in love with you? When did that happen? And why did it have to be with you of all people?

Ace isn’t fooling himself. He knows why it’s you. It’s simply because no one could ever capture his heart the same way you do, with your smiles and your laughs and the way you look at him in both disapproval and exasperated fondness when he makes a crude joke.

Don’t act surprised when he holds your hand out of the blue or when he searches your face with those eyes, wondering what it would feel like to kiss you silly right then and there. He wants you, not anyone else, and it’s driving him crazy.

Kalim Al-Asim what are we?

Everyone thinks you and Kalim are dating already. You joke about it all the time. Oh, yeah, we’re partners in crime! Soulmates! Two sides of the same coin- but the line between teasing and reality has begun to blur. Once, you even made a jibe that you’d marry him one day, and Kalim got you an actual ring! It was so extravagant- a ruby inlaid with smaller gilded gems along the edges. He told you it was a family treasure, kept in the storerooms of Scarabia and just waiting to adorn the hand of the right person.

You tried to refuse, but he insisted. Money wasn’t something the Al-Asim heir ever had to worry about. So you go along with it, the golden band rubbing between your fingers and his when you walk down the halls, hands interlaced.

How does Kalim really feel about you? You’re not sure, so one day you ask- Kalim, what are we?

He looks at you curiously. “Aren’t we engaged?”

Strangers to Lovers

Deuce Spade the hallway crush

Every day between alchemy and history of magic, Deuce finds himself scanning faces in the hallway for someone who makes his face flush and his palms turn sweaty. And every day when you catch his eye and send him a wave, he finds himself tangled up a little more in his heartstrings, tripping over his feet as he tries to return your greeting.

He’s not sure when he first noticed you. Maybe it was when he fumbled and nearly dropped a potion on the carpet, and you caught it. His heart did flutter a bit then, but maybe that was because he nearly messed up the project he had been working on all night. He wants to talk to you again so badly- more than just a ‘hello‘ or a ‘thanks.’ He wants to brighten up your day just by walking by, like you do for him. Maybe if he becomes an honors student, then you’ll finally notice him too.

Jack Howl the mysterious savior

Being hounded by a group of rogue students wasn’t in your plans for the day. Trying to slip between the mob, avoiding their prying hands and sharp words, a sudden growl makes them all look up. A tall boy with wolflike ears towers over them.

Leave them alone. His voice is sharp, like a dog's canines. Golden eyes meet yours, steely and cold, but they soften for a moment when you manage to say thank you.

Your savior rubs the back of his neck. ‘S nothing, he says gruffly, but the lingering traces of blush on his face tell a different story. Only when he leaves do you realize that you had never gotten his name. Perhaps fate will lead you to meet once again, in the near future.

Azul Ashengrotto love at first sight

One minute he’s discussing the best way to mix a potion with his lab partner. The next, he’s sitting straight in his chair, eyes blown wide when you walk into the room. You’ve ensnared Azul Ashengrotto’s attention and heart without a single word. And when you finally say hi to him, ignorant of his shady dealings and strange company, he’s caught- hook, line, and sinker.

Azul begins to do things for you. Not in the way he does for others, with a flourish of his pen and a snap of his fingers. No, you’re special. He could never ask anything of you.

It’s so obvious, the way he favors you and gives you the best of everything he has. But he can’t bring himself to care- not when this new feeling brings him such happiness.

Idia Shroud closer than he thought

Idia Shroud has never met you irl. No way. All you are to him is a profile picture on a leaderboard, telling him to dodge the next attack or that he’ll never beat you in the latest game the two of you are playing. You make his gloomy days a little brighter. And when they’re brighter, he finally takes a chance to step outside for a bit and go to class.

In class is where he met you. His charming desk partner, whose presence he enjoyed far more than he thought he would. He likes your jokes. He likes that you play the same games as him and nerd out about the same topics. But when he returns to the world of online anonymity, he can’t help but feel disloyal- so much so that he doesn’t notice the lilt of the voice in his speakers is the same one that rings in his ears when he falls asleep in class.

Malleus Draconia love from afar

No one knows who you are, a mere human who attends NRC. You could be dangerous as far as his retainers know. Malleus isn’t supposed to speak with you- but oh, does he want to.

He’s tried to ignore the pull towards you, but he just can’t. Why is this mere child of man lingering in his thoughts, ensnaring his every waking moment?

One night when Sebek is busy berating Silver for falling asleep on the job, he sneaks away and finds you beneath the moonlight, staring up at the stars. He’s caught like a fly in a web from the first hello.

Enemies to Lovers

Riddle Rosehearts academic rivals

He’s so annoying. With a loud voice, short stature, and short temper, you could consider Riddle Rosehearts to always be underfoot. But even you have to admire his academic prowess, his name topping the scores at every turn. And just under him, is you. How very frustrating.

You’re so focused on one-upping one another that you don’t even catch yourself when thoughts of him wander into your mind throughout the day. Of course you think of him, you’re trying to beat him. But slowly the competition turns into wondering. What does he do in his free time? What’s his favorite food, his favorite color?

Little do you know, he thinks of you too.

Ruggie Bucchi the goodhearted thief

You heard from your neighbors about the slum thief who steals things from their shops. It’s only a matter of time before he comes to you next, they warn, so be ready.

And ready you are. When a skinny boy with rounded ears atop his head tries to slip something into his pocket, you call him out. And when he dashes away, you scramble after him- tackling him in a paved alley near some dumpsters. Cans go crashing over to reveal several homeless youngsters, shivering in the cold and barely more than bones. The boy tosses the food to them before you can intervene- but why would you, when you’ve just seen what you saw?

When he comes into the bakery next time, you make sure he pays. But you also slip an extra loaf or two into his order, with a wink and a nod. Your conversations become a bit longer, a bit friendlier. He’s quite charming and you have to berate yourself for falling for a thief.

He’s stolen your heart, hasn’t he?

Floyd Leech the hallway bully

Floyd Leech. Just his name makes you groan and roll your eyes. It’s not just you he teases you in the hallway by holding your things over his head, but you seem to be his favorite. How are you supposed to get your notebook back when it’s dangling almost 8 feet above the ground, courtesy of his freakishly long arms?

The graceful solution you come up with is to kick him. Right in his eel, to summarize. His twin brother is by his side in an instant while you walk off.

Jade expects Floyd to be livid. But even when he’s doubled up on the ground in pain, he’s got a grin plastered across his face.

His shrimpy is such a badass.

Jamil Viper flirting rivals

For someone who’s usually level-headed and cool, you sure bring out Jamil’s temper. He can find a million ways to insult and discredit you, but still you’ll bounce back with some snarky, suggestive comment that just makes his blood boil.

He swears he can feel your eyes on him from across the hallways. It makes him want to pull his hood up over his face. But when you approach him, he’s as calm as ever. Why are you leaning closer, prefect, and running your hands over his tie? He’s not going to fall for your ruse, so don’t even try.

Still, his eyes can’t help but wander down to your lips, wondering if they would taste like he imagined.

Rook Hunt one-sided annoyance

It seems like you’ve gained yourself a one-man paparazzi recently. If Rook is meant to be a hunter, you have to wonder if he’s any good at his job. He never seems to conceal his presence, following you down the hallways brazenly while spouting off fake compliments about your demeanor and beauty.

Well, you thought they were fake. It’s hard to believe anyone is genuine in a school full of villains, but you might have caught the attention of the one person who actually is. His company isn’t so bad sometimes, especially when you can talk his ear off about anything and everything.

Sebek Zigvolt forced proximity

This was meant to be a partner project, not a threeway. But being paired with the great Malleus Draconia means putting up with his annoying, self-proclaimed bodyguard for the next week as well.

You pity Sebek’s alchemy partner, because he’s ignoring his own work in favor of hovering over you and his liege. His loud, unsolicited advice and passive-aggressive comments don’t make him any more bearable. By the time Thursday rolls around, you’re about ready to drop-kick him into the cauldron.

Thankfully, you and Malleus get your work done early. When you’re packing up your things to leave, you find Sebek quiet for once, deep in concentration as he rushes to finish his own work.

I don’t need the help of a human, he proclaims in that loud, obnoxious bark of his. But he doesn’t complain when you settle down next to him, stirring the potion while he measures out ingredients.

Exes to Lovers

Cater Diamond the one that got away

Cater knows you probably hate his guts. Hell, he hates his own guts for fucking up so badly. You were the best thing that ever happened to him and he drove you away with his constant neediness and self-deprecation. It took him years to realize that he was so focused on himself that he didn’t realize that you needed support too.

He’s been lonely for a while, working on himself and his problems in the shadows. It’s been a while since he last saw you- he knows you might not want to see him again anyways, but he’s changed now- both for himself and for you.

Cater wants you back, if you’ll have him.

Jade Leech second chance romance

Jade was nothing more than a talking stage that never got off the ground. He was fun to be around and a good hiking partner, but you stopped seeing him after first year ended and you no longer shared a class together.

You didn’t think of him much throughout your second and third year at NRC . But when you arrive at your new work study to meet your partner for the program, a tall, familiar figure greets you at the door.

“Jade?”

Vil Schoenheit right person, wrong time

Vil has no one but himself to blame for the downfall of your relationship. He broke things off with you after his manager advised him to- she said that a young, taken idol isn’t marketable. You need to think about your image.

The stage lights blinded him and he dropped you without a second thought. Any trace of you in his life was erased; smoothed over to perfection like a beauty filter.

But oh, how Vil regrets it when he scrolls on his phone late at night, your Magicam account pulled up to a photo of you laughing. What he wouldn’t give to have you smile like that at him again.

The icon for a DM request sits beside your profile picture. Vil regards it for a second, finger hovering over the button, then clicks.

Lilia Vanrouge facing the future

Lilia has always known that humans live short lives. In his time, he’s seen countless people born and died. It’s just a fact of human life; a phenomena he watches from the outside in- disconnected. It doesn’t dawn on him that yours too will run out until Malleus points it out- and then Lilia becomes scared.

He’ll cut you off, hiding in the shadows and avoiding your eyes until a great danger almost befalls you. It is then that Lilia realizes he’d rather have loved and lost you than never have known you at all.

Please, stay with him. You have the rest of your life, however short or long, to live by his side. Lilia would gladly warp time and face the consequences just for one more minute with you.

[the-littlest-goblin]

Something that's stuck with me from the Arch Heart's appearance, which highlights a major underpinning of my frustration with C3, is the "Big Doors don't work" comment.

In what way exactly is the Big Door not working?

The purpose of the Divine Gate was to mitigate the gods exerting undo influence on mortal affairs, and according to everything we've seen in all 3 campaigns up to this point, this was a demonstrable success: the Calamity ended, and despite multiple potentially world-ending catastrophes cropping up since then, it has been up to mortals to deal with these threats. They've often done so with divine aid, but I fail to see how that's overreaching on the gods' part when accepting said aid is still dependent on mortal choice.*

Part of the Arch Heart's reasoning for wanting to "let go" is, as I understand it, because mortals continue to rebel against and resent the gods even from behind the Divine Gate. Which, yes they do, but like... the customer is not always right. Not every complaint needs to be catered to, especially the ones based on faulty postulates.

I get that this is not how the Arch Heart is thinking about it; my issue is not with the roleplay of individual characters, but with the narrative whole and the sheer amount of time it has spent, both in the text and extra-textual framing, sincerely entertaining the base axioms of an argument that is so poorly constructed Ludinus wouldn't make it past round one of a middle school debate club. None of the anti-god arguments have given any tangible evidence for the claim that the gods are an oppressive force or that Exandria would be better off without them that is not either:

A. Aeor, which was pre-Divine Gate and in fact the catalyst for the gods to pull back on interfering with mortal affairs, and therefore not all that pertinent to the current status quo;

or B. an event or action that, while it may be done in the name of the gods (e.g. Hearthdell) or directly encouraged by a god (e.g. Opal and the Crown) is nonetheless still contingent on mortals making choices, and therefore not a convincing argument that the gods are infringing on free will,** nor that removing them would prevent these types of situations.

An ongoing motif of C3 has been showing perspectives which challenge the prevailing narrative about the gods as established within Exandria's lore to this point. As a story enjoyer, I normally would eat up this sort of reversal—I love a metatextual play with in-universe narratives. But to do so convincingly requires more substance than a handful of characters going 'Trust me bro.' I'm going to need to see some peer-reviewed studies on Exandrian metaphysics before I take Ludinus "17 ulterior motives stacked in a wizard robe" Da'leth's word over what I've seen with my own brain over thousands of hours worth of game play.

If the message of the narrative is telling me to question the diegetic information it presents, then I am going to do just that. So far every argument that the gods do more harm than good for Exandria has been rampant citationless behavior. I find it baffling and borderline infuriating that we're approaching the denouement of this campaign and I still have yet to see evidence that the core conflict of the story, the central debate which has plagued every in-game and fandom discussion for a year now, is based on an actual problem. Like, at all.

*If you think Vax did not exercise his own agency and free will in every step of becoming Champion of the Matron, you are simply wrong.

**For real, we know there are magical means of straight-up mind control in Exandria. Like, you don't have to approve of it, but the gods engaging in standard issue verbal manipulation does not constitute a violation of free will, and it certainly doesn't make the argument that they are so immeasurably more powerful than mortals that they should not be allowed to exist.

[briebysabs]

I’ve been deliberating for a couple days now and have decided to discuss in-depth about Kim Dokja and the tendencies of putting his life on the line. For most of the novel, I was split on whether I should view KDJ as a self-sacrificial bastard or a suicidal character. And by the end, I’ve reached the conclusion that he is both.

Before I elaborate further, it should be noted that while we all meme about KDJ’s dying count, he actually isn’t that careless with his life. What I mean is he sacrifices himself usually as a last resort, plans A to F didn’t work and it’s the only option left to hope for kimcom’s safety-ditch effort. Usually. We’ll circle back to that when we bring up OD. But his sacrifices are always done as granting his companions salvation, utterly blind to how they feel about it. But to understand his constant need to do this you have to first start with where he learned how to love. Lee Sookyoung’s love was sacrificial, she’d take the brunt of her husband’s rage to shield KDJ, she’d take on blame for his death and be incarcerated for years so Kim Dokja won’t discover the truth. All of this, in my opinion, unbeknownst to KDJ, imprinted onto him this interpretation of love. As nobody else until the scenarios began had loved him (Yes HSY technically but he doesn’t know that). Which gives the irony that multiple characters KDJ resent in the story such as Kim Namwoon, his mother, the constellations are ultimately revealed to be reflections of himself.

Another component to his self-sacrificing is “Kim Dokja the reader”. I’m not going to dive deep into how orv interweaves dissociation and escapism into its narrative, I’ll do that some other day. But KDJ views himself as the reader, an outsider, the sole member in the audience watching the story unfold before him. Yes he grants commentary, the players notice and acknowledge his existence, but he isn’t part of the play. So if he decides to step out of the auditorium for a while, if he decides to leave a bookmark where he left off and close the book, nothing should change. The story will continue in his absence, the characters cannot possibly miss him because Kim Dokja was not a character. He was not part of their world so even if he’s gone, the ending will still happen. And that is something I want to stress here.

KDJ says “he wants to see a certain story’s epilogue”. Specific choice of words, “see”. He doesn’t say he’ll be part of it,that he’ll be with them, or any close variation of those phrases.

This is where I want to diverge to talk about KDJ's suicidality. You can say “Ok then, KDJ has a clear goal in mind to reach the ending he desires. Yes he may feel the need to step out of the story every now and then, but he does so reluctantly. So obviously, he doesn’t want to die.” And you wouldn’t be wrong really but that simplifies it to an overwhelming degree. That’s how I initially thought of it until I realized how complicated it actually is. Because most people who deal with suicidal thoughts aren’t searching for death but rather feel there’s no other choice. It often isn’t as clear cut as 1863 YJH who, anyone that read this arc will say with certainty that he was suicidal. Yes KDJ isn’t chanting in his mind over and over that he wants to die but why does he want to live? To see the proper ending of a web novel that stopped him from attempting again to begin with. Over the course of orv he finds people he loves and who love him back deeply. People he longs to live for but despite that because of the disconnect between them, his self-loathing, accompanied with what I said before, believing he has no other way out of these threatening situations. Yeah it’s to save his companions but in the end Kim Dokja still feels the need to die. Even if you do not see KDJ as a suicidal character, it is undeniable that so much revolving him, the impact it has on those who care for him, and the visceral descriptions used to convey their thoughts, is a direct metaphor for that.

Or in a few cases, straight up what’s going on and now we arrive at what I think was the final straw for Kim Dokja. Meeting the Oldest Dream. For me, this is THE scene of orv. The biggest twist and what finally irreparably broke KDJ. Prior to this, Kim Dokja had become the “Enemy of the story” but it was unlike his previous dances with death. This time he truly had no intention of dying, he wants to be a part of the ending with his companions, he understands now that his sacrifices do hurt them. That according to him “I, someone of no redeeming quality, could be loved by the others.” That he is a character and that just maybe, he does deserve to live happily ever after with them. And then Kim Dokja meets a 15-year old boy with the same face as his, doodling in a notebook his ideas for Ways of Survival and a notification tells him to ‘Please end the Oldest Dream’. All of that progress is shattered in an instant.

KDJ tries to excuse himself by recalling his promise to SP to kill OD but we all know if that was any other kid, he would not have tried to kill them. He would’ve hesitated much more, he’d look for a loophole, he would’ve tried talking which is his biggest strength for every corner he gets into. Killing them would not be the first option but now it is. Because this isn’t an instance of sacrifice anymore, KDJ is sick of himself. OD is a presence that confirms KDJ’s worst fears. That he’s meant to be weak and pitiful and alone, that he was always an outsider, that he unintentionally causes pain and misfortune to people he loves, that everyone would be perfectly fine and better even without him. And Kim Dokja is the physical manifestation of them: a monster. And there’s only one way to get rid of this monster.

The chain of events from him swinging his sword at OD, trying to stab himself with the blade only for YJH to stop it desperately with his hand, everyone restraining and begging him to stop, KDJ crying and screaming for SP + the other Outer Gods to kill OD. Everyone else is forgiving him and KDJ is only thinking of getting a blade.

This is Kim Dokja’s relapse. It’s real, it’s harrowing, and he never recovers from it. He reaches the conclusion that he has to be alone, it’s his atonement, it's what he deserves. So he splits himself 49-51. I interpreted this when I first read it as presenting 49% of what you believe people want to see. More real than a facade but it’s not the true you. The true, fucked up version of who you are is trapped in a prison of your making, trapped in a darkness you feel you don’t deserve to escape. Which is why it’s so powerful that KimCom went after that 51%. They didn’t want just their version of KDJ, they wanted everything KDJ is including the larger side of him that he wishes didn’t exist. But the plan fails, they managed to turn that full stop into a comma but they couldn’t save KDJ. Because you can’t drag someone out of that train, out of that mentality, you can’t force someone to love themself. All you can do is reach out to any corner, every worldline you can and let them know you’ll always love them. That you’ll always love every aspect of their story and hope that perhaps one day, they’ll accept your hand and believe it.

[ID: Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint art by Blackbox: first of Kim DOkja smiling, seen through a space in a bookshelf, and second of astronaut Yoo Joonghyuk floating upside down as letters float around him. End ID]

[diejager]

I love you step father könig Ang dbf horangi series! Honestly I feel like my room would be such a turn off for them both (I just can’t imagine that a dirty room with an undertale poster and anime figures staring at them would be fun). In the scenario where the reader has a dirty uncomfortable room would they just A) take them out or try and help them reorganize, or B) just take them out of their room/house?

If it scenario A moms just like “how nice that my husband and his best friend are helping my child like this, what amazing bonding experiences :)! It’s also nice that they’re helping them get rid of some of those things.”

Cw: controlling behaviour,STEPCEST, DUB-CON/NON-CON, DARKFIC, smut, double penetration, threesome, rough sex, plug, coercion, tell me if I missed any.

I’m more inclined to pick choice A, where they would take out everything and reorganise your room. They might be retired, but habits that moulded them into who they’ve become are hard to forget, it would impossible for them to die out. Clean and minimal rooms kept them up and ready, it made it easier to live when their lives were so hectic and always in motion. König’s personal belonging showed it, he rarely had any trinkets that weren’t necessary, his office bare of personal touches and his side of the room was barren, holding but his clothes, gear and work utilities. It stood out more clearly with Horangi - your stepdad’s coworker turned best friend - who lived alone, the walls untouched and the rooms decorated in a utilitarian manner. He kept what was necessary and threw away anything that didn’t directly influenced him.

So it wouldn’t be a surprise that they’d make you clean your messy room, unnecessarily hung posters, small figurines that they deemed a waste, clothes strewn around on your chair, bed and basket, and other small and big things that took too much space in your room. It could be clean if you put in the work, it wouldn’t be so crowded that it stank to them. That’s why your stepfather and his friend were holding you by the neck and telling you to clean up and make more space for the two of them to fit comfortably in your bedroom.

“Look at this mess, Schatzi,” he tone was disapproving, seemingly disappointed in your personalised mess of a room with your cherished characters and excitable posters, “I can hardly walk around without hitting something.”

“We have a lot of work to do, 애인.” [Sweetheart]

They make you throw away everything you collected over the years, forcing you to put the in a box to put away in the basement’s storage and clean your room in their image. Despite your tears and sobs, they’re unyielding, glaring down at you as if you were a misbehaving child and speak to you in a tone that broke down your dignity. Once everything’s packed away, your room has never been this bare, walls clean, your desk arranged and bed made, it was a picture-perfect sight of a minimalist room that your stepfather could be proud of. It tore you apart to put away your collection and the many gifts you had received, small trinkets that you held close to your heart, but they were uncaring to your pleas.

They shush your weeping, rewarding you with their cocks, choking down your tears with a good fucking that would take your mind off unnecessary affairs. Horangi ploughed into you, holding you by the hip to stop you from keeling over, arms and legs trembling from the force he out in his thrusts. You’re pushed into König with every thrust, throat closing around his girth when König bucked his hips, driving further down and chuckling cruelly when you gagged loudly, fresh tears rolling down your cheeks. They ravage you in your recently cleaned room before moving to the hall until you find yourself in the kitchen table, thrown over the flat wood and choking on Horangi, drooling down your chin while you wet your stepdad’s navel and his musky hair with your slick and cum, gummy walls tight and warm around him cock.

They make sure to bathe you and clean up their mess before your mom’s home, wiping away all the evidence and slotting a plug in your swollen cunt, preventing the mix of slick and cum to leak from your hole. You’re exhausted and dozing off in your bed, sleeping off your sore muscle and chaotic mind, only waking up once you’re called for dinner by Horangi. When you’re stiffly seated next to your neighbour, your mom congratulated you for cleaning your chaotic room and gushed about her husband and his friend helping you to make things quicker and easier.

“That’s sweet of you, thank you,” you sighed tiredly, eyes closed in exasperation at the times she spoke to you about reorganising your room and taking out things that you didn’t use. “We’ve spoke about it for years now, but she’s always been too stubborn to clean up. Did you thank them, sweetheart?”

Yo blinked lazily, lips parting to say your peace, wanting to throw a few choice words at her for acting this way, but König beat you to it.

“Ja, she was very grateful.”

Despite his words and smile, there was a hidden darkness in his eyes, a hungry and calculatrice gleam kept a secret from your mother, but clear to you and Horangi’s equally sick grin.

“I’m glad.”

She was none the wiser, smile so bright for her tiresome day at work, simply overjoyed that her husband was putting in the effort to actually know and help you.

Taglist: @sae1kie @yeoldedumbslut @bvxygriimes @distracteddragoness @konigsblog @havoc973 @im-making-an-effort @daisychainsinknots @0alk0msan @danielle143 @dont-mind-me-just-existing-sadly @tuttifuckinfruttifriday @kaelysia @spidersthere @velvetsoulweaver @petwifed @aldis-nuts @randominstake

[mbruben-stein]

Yuri on Ice characters dating a fem s/o who/that is a fashion designer and s/o designs their costumes for Figure skating competitions.

Yuuri Katsuki:

Yuuri Katsuki's relationship with his fashion designer girlfriend is a match made in heaven. She understands his passion for figure skating and knows how important it is for him to feel confident and comfortable in his costumes. She puts her heart and soul into creating unique and stunning designs that not only showcase Yuuri's talent on the ice but also reflect his personality and style.

Yuuri's girlfriend spends hours sketching, sewing, and perfecting every detail of his costumes. She takes inspiration from his music choices, his favorite colors, and even his skating style to create one-of-a-kind pieces that make him stand out on the ice. Yuuri is always amazed by her creativity and talent, and he feels grateful to have someone who supports him in such a special way.

Their relationship is a true partnership, with Yuuri providing feedback and suggestions while his girlfriend works her magic with fabrics and embellishments. They share a deep bond built on trust, communication, and a mutual love for their respective crafts. Yuuri's girlfriend is his biggest cheerleader, always there to encourage him and lift his spirits, especially during challenging times.

When Yuuri steps onto the ice wearing one of his girlfriend's creations, he feels like he has a piece of her with him, giving him the strength and confidence to perform at his best. Their love and collaboration shine through in every costume, making each performance a true work of art that showcases their shared passion and dedication. Yuuri is grateful to have such a talented and supportive partner by his side, both on and off the ice.

Victor Nikiforov:

Victor Nikiforov's relationship with his fashion designer girlfriend is a match made in heaven. Not only does she understand his need for unique and captivating costumes for his figure skating competitions, but she also has the talent and creativity to bring his visions to life. Victor trusts her implicitly with his wardrobe, knowing that she will always come up with something that will wow the audience and judges alike.

Their collaboration is a true partnership, with Victor providing input on the overall look and feel he wants to convey on the ice, and his girlfriend translating that into stunning designs that perfectly complement his performances. She takes into account every detail, from the cut of the fabric to the embellishments and accessories, ensuring that Victor's costumes not only look incredible but also enhance his movements on the ice.

Their relationship is not just about work, though. Victor and his girlfriend share a deep bond of love and mutual respect. He admires her talent and dedication to her craft, while she appreciates his passion for figure skating and his unwavering support of her career. They make time for each other amidst their busy schedules, enjoying quiet moments together and celebrating each other's successes.

Overall, Victor and his fashion designer girlfriend make a dynamic and inspiring couple. Their love and creativity shine through in everything they do, both on and off the ice. And with her by his side, Victor knows that he will always have the perfect costume to help him shine in the spotlight.

Yuri Plisetsky:

Yuri Plisetsky, also known as the Russian Punk, may come off as tough and intimidating on the ice, but when it comes to his fashion designer girlfriend, he shows a softer side. His Girlfriend is not just any fashion designer, she is the one who designs and makes his costumes for his figure skating competitions.

Yuri is known for his fierce determination to be the best in figure skating, and having a girlfriend who understands his passion and supports him in such a unique way means the world to him. He may not always show it, but deep down, he appreciates the effort and love that goes into each costume she creates for him.

Despite his rough exterior, Yuri trusts his girlfriend's talent and creative vision when it comes to his costumes. He knows that she understands him better than anyone else and that her designs will not only showcase his skills on the ice but also reflect his personality and emotions.

In moments when Yuri is feeling the pressure of competition, his girlfriend's presence and her beautifully crafted costumes give him the confidence and motivation he needs to skate his best. Their relationship is a perfect balance of passion, dedication, and love for their respective crafts.

Yuri may be the Russian Punk on the ice, but with his fashion designer girlfriend by his side, he is able to show a different side of himself - one that is vulnerable, appreciative, and deeply in love.

[randomhealer]

ℬ𝓁𝓊ℯ 𝒲ℯ𝒷

warnings: Obsessive behaviors, yandere characters, GN reader, murder half described, not reviewed, Tumblr wasn't accepting my post since 3am so it changed it itself, theory for who owns the last sentence

♡₊˚ 🕸・₊✧

You don't know how lucky you are to have good friends...

Kamisato Ayato, your long time friend, with a calm and relaxed facade, your friend who helped you stop the bullies who were messing with you, honestly you were happy when all the torment ended but where did the boys who messed with you go? Ayato says they all got detention from school...

Kamisato ayato...for you, a kind, hard-working, intelligent boy. Kamisato ayato...a manipulator... a sweet friendship with every step forged and meticulously planned like a piece for a treat. whispers say that he is the owner of a powerful faction and that his influence extended far beyond the city limits, he was a shadow that no bad soul wanted to cross, two-face, having him as an enemy was worse than having the devil. ..such whispers that soon disappeared from the world soon after saying such rumors around...

Sunday... a boy from a very well-known and important family, exuded an air of elegance and sophistication that belied his true nature. You never thought you would catch the attention of someone so important, but here he is...always bumping into you and talking to you at school.

Little do you know, oh poor innocent soul falling into the web of two dangerous demons, the bright blue web calling you to fall and drown in your own innocence.

both finding themselves in a sick love for you, something silly for them...it's not obsession, it's love...pure love over an innocent and clean soul, both having knowledge of each other, knowing your every step, shadows you They spy on your house, every day both families have eyes for you. and he has eyes for his friends and family too...

From lavish gifts to whispered promises of eternal love, they've done everything to win the reader's heart without having to break their facade.

a chance. while you have your freedom, your sanity, your innocence and your legs intact... You can choose between them, the choice is yours, but remember any step you take has a big consequence... you are walking on glass here.

Ayato's hand squeezed yours a little, his smile that could have been genuine before disappeared just for a fraction of a second as he watched you exchange kindness with Sunday, his gaze meeting Sunday's who smiled gracefully as he held your hand a little. little more, he looked from beneath his eyelashes with a feeling of hatred, disgust and mockery at Ayato.

while looks mix with hatred and jealousy creating thoughts about killing the other between the two men and you are oblivious to everything as you mumble some things to Sunday, who looks at you with a smile and waves. Of course, he listens to your every word despite his thought being that only Ayato would disappear from his sight...

Cute moments, sure... Ayato sharing his drink with you, Ayato giving you a light kiss on the forehead for being able to do all his math homework, Sunday buying you expensive things, Sunday letting you play with his hair...

but you're not stuck with just two people, you have more friends and a free life to live...right? bad choice...

16/04... A body was discovered, this morning three people were found dead in a state of advanced decomposition...The victims were...

These weren't the guys who bullied you?

...26/04... a body was found today in a river in an abandoned park, a couple was walking when they saw a hand floating in the small lake...

This...wasn't this the guy you met a few weeks ago at the cafe? he had given you his number after he spilled coffee on you...

03/05... a body of a teenager was found today near the... ...the cause of death has not been found yet, but the body was dismembered and appeared to have signs of torture... we ask all citizens in the area to be careful and Don't go out late at night...

This... was the guy in the class next to yours who you were going to meet in a few days...

...

...

...

You don't know what's going on...a serial killer on the loose...? or just a big coincidence of deaths? You're getting scared to even go home alone...

a sweet and familiar voice breaks your thoughts as you walk, you stop walking as you hear the footsteps reach you and a voice whisper sweetly "my dear...you shouldn't keep coming back alone, didn't you hear what's happening? let me accompany you to your home."

I've been trying to post this since 3 am and Tumblr won't let me??? I haven't even been to Penacony yet lol

[shuinami]

Jess and Hobie: their defining strengths + their weaknesses

I had a thought about Hobie while I was writing, have been thinking about Jess for a while and then this post about Miguel came out and it made me kind of want to yap. I'll only talk about Hobie and Jessica here because I'm biased + Peter & Gwen have been talked about a lot + I linked a post about Miguel + Miles & Pav have simpler, more obvious flaws that basically come down to youthful naivety.

I also find it really interesting that their flaws are basically opposites, Hobie's comes from "inconsistency" whilst Jessica's comes from stubbornness. And again, both these flaws come from their greatest strengths.

TL;dr

Jess' defining strength is her resolve when it comes to fighting for what's right and tussling with destiny but it causes her to have a one-track mind, even if it comes to dedicating herself to something wrong (from being misguided).

Hobie's defining strength is his optimism (e.g. anarcho-communism) but the extreme difficulty of pursuing those ideals and the struggle against systems can bring that optimism to a breaking point, causing him to be inconsistent or, more directly, to give up.

I think people forget that Jessica's pregnancy is by design and not just a 'feature' of Jessica Drew as a character. She was deliberately chosen to be represented in this stage of her life and I think it is so important to her character, even if it's not in the traditional way that pregnancy is typically portrayed as in media.

I think her pregnancy shows the kind of person she is: most obviously, it's cold, hard evidence that she's a bamf who takes care of spidey business even while pregnant.

More importantly to me, though, there's an implication that, as her universe's one and only spidey, she has been the one to save the day and been the change she wishes to seek, effectively enough that she feels comfortable bringing a baby into the world.

Unlike someone like Peter, she does not make the choice between bringing her child to work with her or leaving them behind. She just has to do what she needs to do to make sure her kid is safe, there's no failing for her. During her pregnancy, it's always going to be a matter of life and death. Jess is well aware and, instead of shying away from action, she's just committed to not making those kinds of mistakes. To get over her losses. She's going to take charge of her own world's destiny as she has always done and she's going to make sure it's good.

Her strong allegiance to Miguel's ideas is her most glaring flaw to us as an audience because A. we're seeing things through Miles' eyes, she's standing in the way of him saving his father and B. we know that Miguel can't be right about canon events - we know they wouldn't make the movies as bleak as that.

Of course, taking a step back from our perspective, it's also a flaw because she is being antagonistic to a teenager as a grown adult. It might make her seem cold and harsh.

However, Jess was the one to vouch for Gwen, to take her in, even though Miguel didn't want her to and they could have left things up to the web of destiny. Jess trusts her own capabilities but she doesn't trust the world to be kind. She doesn't assume Gwen can handle things just because she can, either. On top of being sympathetic, I think her dedication to being the change she wishes to see is why she accepts Gwen as a student; she trusts that a young girl can make the world a better place too, it's not a thing where she wants to micromanage everything. She just wants to know the multiverse is in safe hands. That's her "great responsibility".

The only reason she is following the anti-Miles agenda is because Miles, as far as she and anybody else in-movie knows, is jeopardising the existence of every universe (insidiously via the holes). Maybe, in another position, say, a bright-eyed teen who mainly worried about high school and puppy love, she would be more willing to risk things, to see how it goes.

She's not in that position though. Her world that she felt confident she had the power to keep safe has been made uncertain. One day, it could just go poof, along with her baby, and she wouldn't be able to stop it in the moment. If she makes the right decision now, if she doesn't make a mistake, she can prevent it. It's understandable that she's going to do whatever it takes to prevent anomalies.

What was the canon event chosen to represent her?

Her version of the moment from "The Final Chapter".

It comes from a story that largely focuses on Peter's personal life before spiralling into action to make up for a mistake that has made Aunt May fatally ill. In the panel, Spider-Man is trapped under machinery with the cure - the thing that will absolve the mistake - just out of reach. As the lair is flooded, drowning is imminent.

Against all odds, though, Spider-Man pushes past what should have killed him and rises to the occasion, with the thoughts of saving Aunt May and refusing to have a repeat of Uncle Ben.

"I won't fail you. No matter what - I won't fail."

Jess has had to handle her own fate as well as her world's. Now that the multiverse is involved, it's not going to stop at her own universe. She has to stop this. She won't fail. As per the dialogue between her and Gwen in ATSV, she's made a mistake before (by getting too close to someone) but she tells Gwen "I got over it". Sounds so savage in the moment but she still gives Gwen a chance to make her own situation right before letting her get kicked off the team. Helping Gwen in spite of the anomaly would be a mistake if she couldn't handle this.

And when the Spot gets away and Miles enters the picture? The gloves come off. It's tempting fate at that point. Jess' no mistakes mindset pushes her to even prepare to roll up on a teenager.*

Her greatest strength is her resolve - I mean, hell, she doesn't let even pregnancy slow her down when it comes to saving the world - but it causes her to be stubborn and leads her down a misguided path.

*By the end of the film, she seems to be questioning Miguel's method, though. On top of the fact that BTSV is obviously going to end on a good note, I think Jess' fight against destiny is going to have her come around in the end as Miles is doing the same thing.

Onto Hobie:

I luv luv luv Hobie as much as everyone else, he's definitely my favourite but I feel he has his flaws too (which tend to make me love my faves more lol).

In fact, I think he says what they are when we first meet him, though they are veiled as jokes.

I find that the audience tends to position him as a perfect distillation of anarcho-communism at its best. I think the teen spideys see him in a similar light; they see him as effortlessly cool & charismatic, a wise mentor figure ("use your palms" + his play fighting with Pavitr featured him taking on the stance of a boxing trainer as Pavitr tried to punch his palms) but he's not like the adult adults - he's relatable, he's cool, he's anarchist, he's not always on their case like Jess and Miguel.

He neither calls himself a hero nor a role model... but he is the perfect hero and role model, right? He's the best! He's the only one who's looking out for Miles and, when Miles is getting chased down by the entire society, what does he do?

He... quits.

Wouldn't that perfect hero we all believe him to be swoop in with his cape, know exactly what to do and save Miles, the underdog? He can't have possibly known Miles would manage against the society and, if he knew it was possible, then why wouldn't he lend a hand? He didn't drop off the watch in Miles' dimension, he gave one to his bestie, Gwen, likely in the scenario that she wanted to quit or got booted because 'it [didn't] work out'.**

I think Hobie's major flaw is his lack of consistency, as he famously said himself.

He has a strong moral code - he believes in the right things for the right reasons... but communism and anarchy are pretty much impossible to properly/entirely employ in a system that is consumerist, capitalist and authoritarian. He riots, he fights, but it's never over. London isn't free. In my experience, people with strong moral compasses tend to have issues with themselves because they hold others to higher standards than most and hold themselves to even higher and impossible standards (think Diane from Bojack Horseman).

One of the first comic panels I encountered of Hobie was him getting real with Captain Anarchy about losing morale because, despite killing President Ozzy Osborne, the face of fascism in his dystopia, nothing changes. He wasn't able to save the world like a hero in a movie or like a proper role model. He 'failed'. When you give your everything and nothing changes, no matter how optimistic, clever or read-up on theory you are, it can be hard to keep going.

And what is chosen as his defining canon event?

His version of Spider-Man quitting in "Spider-Man No More". Rather than being fed up with the world antagonising him as 616 is, Hobie is done with an antagonistic world.

The Hobie/Spider-Punk that has been built up externally, as far as I understand, would never give up. He'd keep raging forever and ever because that's the cool thing to do, because it's the heroic thing to do - because it's the right thing to do.

But under the mask, he's just a teenager, imperfect as any other.

He's still a Spider-Man too. Before the bite, he was another lanky black boy in racist-af, peak National Front, send-the-blacks-and-the-Asians-back, '70s England. He's a nerd, as evidenced by his ability to build such a high-tech watch, especially as a teenager who wouldn't have had access to anything like it until joining the society, meaning he had to pick it up quick. And I'm to think he didn't have any Flash-esque characters in his life? "Come out of it."

As Spider-Man with the mask on, he yells to the rooftops; as Hobie with the mask off, he mumbles and whispers. Sure he looks cool now but people don't tend to come out of the womb as Spider-Punk. On top of that, he's still so young and surely has plenty of room to grow.

I believe he joined the society in earnest, optimistic that he could help the multiverse but eventually reached his limits with actively facilitating death and trauma, with saving the multiverse not meaning freedom in his own universe, with being shackled to the web of destiny. I'm not convinced he made the watch in one day; I think he had been planning on quitting for some time and was waiting for the right moment (as he also wanted to support Gwen because friendship is important to him). That's why he tries to dissuade Miles from joining but, when he does leave, he doesn't go out in a riot, he doesn't even leave knowing that Miles has people on his side other than him. Hobie just quits.

I think his greatest strength is his optimism (his anarcho-communism & adamance about "love, joy and freedom" as per the un-permitted performance art pieces in his montage) but he's smart and he's been through shit - he isn't naive like Pavitr or Miles - the great heights of that optimism lead to intensely low lows.

**(I don't really see why or how he would have been able to predict everything that happened in the chase. I know that the watch is set to 1610 but if Hobie believed Miles would make it out of 928 and get back to 1610, would that not be things 'working out'? Or did he predict that he would get to the go-home machine but was the only one who considered that he would be sent to the place his spider came from. Why? And why wouldn't he set the watch to 42 if he knew Miles wouldn't be in 1610? I feel like the 1610 on the interface is just there to be there and that Hobie gave Gwen the watch so she could have the freedom to leave 65 if she wanted to, in the event that she quit the society because they captured Miles or because Miguel kicked her out as Jess kept warning.)

[spinningwebsandtales]

Imagine Tracing Law’s Tattoos

Trafalgar D. Water Law X FemReader

Rating: T+

Warnings: Law isn’t taking care of himself, suggestive themes, steam, reader takes charge

Word Count: 1.5k

(A/N:) I’m reading the manga faster than I can watch One Piece and after seeing Law’s backstory and how much tragedy he went through I want to make him so happy. I love how One Piece can balance out it’s tragedy and comedy and with so many good characters I can’t wait to see what happens next for the beloved pirates of this series! So please enjoy this indulgence that I had to write. For some reason driving is good for the creative juices as I’ve been getting some good ideas to write while working! Hope the Law fangirls enjoy this piece! Until next time happy reading! ~Countess 💀

Law had been up for several days and it was beginning to show as the shadows under his eyes continued to darken. While you tried to get him to lay down and sleep, as soon as he knew that you had gone into deep sleep after you both laid down, he would get up and go back to his desk. The stack of books never dwindled and he was always careful not to wake you up. He barely ate and rarely took breaks. If he wanted to find something out or fix it, he would relentlessly pursue the knowledge until he collapsed or the mystery was solved. Whichever came first. He would brush away your concerns, giving you some sad excuse that he was fine. But tonight you were not having it any longer. You refused to let your husband grind himself into the ground any further.

The gentle waves lapped at the side of the boat as the stars twinkled overhead. Chill was setting in and the crew had taken to their quarters. You sighed deeply, your breath fogging in the air until you too went inside your and Law’s quarters. Naturally he was at his desk, reading away and scratching away in a notebook. You spoke his name but he didn’t even acknowledge that you had spoken to him. Your frustration levels climbing more at his lack of focus on his health. Without a word you went over and forcefully shut his notebook, leaving his hand sandwiched between the pages.

“Can I help you,” he sighed, finally giving you the attention you’ve been trying to receive.

“Yes you can,” you bit back. “You can help me, help you, and go to sleep. Right now.”

“I’m not tired,” Law replied starting to reopen his notebook. You slammed a hand on top leaning on it a little where it would keep his hand pinned.

“Law if the bags under your eyes get any darker they’ll have their own gravity field and start sucking us all in!”

“You’re being ridiculous,” Law was becoming angry. His lack of sleep was making his patience even shorter but that was something you were willing to deal with as long as he got the rest he needed.

“No you are,” you retorted. “You’ll be the one they call black hole face because you refuse to sleep.”

“Are we sure I am the sleep deprived one in this relationship?”

“Okay I may be a little tired too but it’s only because I’ve been so worried about you I can’t sleep well. So will you please come to bed with me,” if arguing didn’t work maybe pleading would.

He kissed your cheek giving you a tired smile, “I will when I’m finished here.”

Okay being gentle and sweet wasn’t getting you nowhere. Law could be the most stubborn man but you knew you could be just as stubborn. You also didn’t mind to play dirty either as he had finally left you no choice. You refused to move still keeping his hand pinned between the notebook. This time you slammed the book close that he was reading. That had his temper flaring and he opened his mouth to say something but you quickly went to the second step of your plan. You removed his hand from the notebook and placed it on your cheek. The warmth of his palm bleeding into your skin. Law watched curiously as you grabbed his other hand, trailing your fingers across every digit, tracing the callouses and scars. He shivered as you nibbled at his fingertips before interlacing your fingers with his. Law’s hands were so large but gentle when it came to you. His charm could make you giggle like a school girl but it was your turn to make him blush this time and to get some sleep. 

Leading him away from the desk, Law followed you a little speechless at your forwardness. You shoved him backwards letting him fall on the bed before you jumped in beside him. This time Law didn’t try to get up as you took the hat from his head, his messy black hair sticking in all directions. You kissed his temple while playing with the facial hair on his chin. He groaned in bliss as your plush lips made him forget everything while your long hair tickled his cheek. Normally he was the one to make the first move as your normally shy behavior took over. He liked this new side of you that you had kept hidden from even him. You sat back up taking his hand again with your slender feminine one, your fingers slowly and tenderly tracing over the inked letters on his fingers. Law shivered while you made your way up to the back of his hand. You only stopped to help him open his shirt and remove it so you could see all the tattooed lines that covered the majority of his body. His forearms were next and the muscles flexed under the skin as he reached his hands up to hold onto your waist. 

“Sleepy yet,” you cooed.

“Not even a bit,” he retorted.

You hummed a lullaby your mother always sang to you when you were a child before trailing further up his toned arms. You took your time at his shoulders as the patterns grew more complicated. Law could only grin as he let you take control. His research and work completely forgotten as he was at the mercy of your wandering hands. His skin becoming enflamed at every gentle touch and stroke. You straddled his hips causing Law to stiffen until you placed a tender kiss on his nose. Burying his face in your chest you giggled as he sighed in pleasure as his face sunk into your breasts. You shook your head, hoping that was a sign that he was finally relaxing and giving into your womanly wiles. You moved along to his back. 

Like you were scratching an itch that had been bothering him all day, Law relaxed further. His arms becoming laxed and he moaned, though it was muffled by your chest. You moved further away from the tattoo, leaving no spot untouched as you worked knots out of his muscles he didn’t realize he had. Sitting so long had taken it’s toll on his body but he had ignored his health for the sake of his goal. When you were happy with your work on his back, you focused on the last place that was his chest. The front of his body was the main tattoo, it started from his pecks and went all the way down almost to the waist of his pants. He peeked up from his spot before loosening his grip. You kissed the top of the heart on his chest making Law jolt. You eased him back down, going down with him as you nuzzled into his side. With one single digit you made the rounds, going over every bump of muscle to trace those black lines embedded in his skin. Law yawned and you felt victory so close as his eyes began to droop. You stopped right at his pants and he raised an eyebrow.

“Maybe later,” you promised. “First you need to sleep.”

He yawned again, “You win.”

You didn’t reply, as your thoughts went towards making Law as comfortable as possible. You left his side even though he tried to grab you and pull you back. Holding up on finger had him relaxing back into the mattress. You tugged the boots from his feet and placed his hat somewhere safe. Next you helped him wiggle out of his pants leaving him only in his boxers. You pulled on the shirt he had abandoned on the floor and with a little work you were both snuggled against one another under the covers. Stroking at his black hair Law began to lose the war on staying awake. He wanted to enjoy a few more moments of you pressed against his weary body, but exhaustion was catching up with him quickly. He held you close as he drifted away.

“I love you,” he mumbled while taking one more glance at your face.

You kissed him deeply going back to stroking his tattooed chest, “I love you too.”

The crew knew that their captain was finally getting the rest he needed so they were under orders not to interrupt unless dire emergencies. You watched Law sleeping peacefully and the worry that had been pressing on you finally lifted. With each rise and fall of his chest, you found yourself relaxing more and more until you too were drifting off to sleep. You wanted to give Law happiness that he never really got to have in his life. It was only fair since he had made you the happiest woman in the world, you only felt like you needed to return the favor. As you slept against the man you loved dearly you vowed to protect him and be there whenever he needed you most.

[the-s1lly-corner]

i saw in the recent lambert post you made that they like to be spoiled and that got me thinking of a follower or even a spouse taking the day to pamper them, saying how good of a person they are and how amazing they are as a leader while helping them shear their wool or washing it and how despite the things they've done the mc will always just wash the blood off their fleece and care for them regardless!!!!

Pampering Lambert for a day

worrying over my progress on the flufftober fics- i know i still have 2 months until october but ive only got 16/31 of the fics done... and im dragging my feet... grrr... maybe ill try to finish another fic before i go to bed tonight- not to mention theres still 5 empty slots that still need a character assigned to them hisshiss notes: reader is gn and a cult member, short post, admin has adopted the "lambert is a kinder leader at least compared to the bishops- they just want to help their cult thrive and survive", admins thoughts are scattered everywhere so this post kind of bounces around everywhere cws: canon typical violence

honestly? sometimes having so many people depending on you weighs heavy on their mind- adding the fact that they are more than aware that they are the last of their kind... and it gets even worse when the bishops join the cult

so a day being tended to and loved is in order- you step up to deal with everyones needs and make sure no one is immediately dying or need anything- and if anyone dares try to bother you and your lover... the look you give them is enough to make them hesitate

you both hang out in his quarters, or for fresh air you both wander around in the woods... or maybe go fishing together... you make it clear that the choice is up to lambert

so tired they just want to stay in bed, so you both end up cuddling together

run your fingers through their wool and their exhausted body is going to melt right into you... their ears flick every now and then as you work your fingers into their body

might take you down to ratau's shack to play a few games of knucklebones before coming back home, you play until its dark out

they dont like talking about some of the darker sides of being a cult leader- the sacrifices, the death, and the weight that was placed on them to be a vessel... now turned a god

they never really chose this, and they let you know that thats been weighing on them

there isnt much that can be done to change whats been done so all you can do is listen and be there for them

godhood has made their body more resilient to wounds as well as healing faster than a mortal, but you still clean their wounds when they return from a crusade... youre so so careful as you scrub their wool until the red is out... they dont remember the last time someone has taken the time to wrap their wounds... theyre left in silence as you lean down and gently press a kiss to their bandages

[wistfulcynic]

as an American who’s spent the past 15 years in the UK it’s always been both interesting and clear to me that Ted Lasso, while set and filmed in the UK with mostly non-American actors, is a show made for Americans. The language choices, the references--even many of those made by non-American characters--are all chosen for maximum impact on an American audience. 

never has that been clearer than in this latest episode. Isaac, who we know was raised in London, hears a fan call his best friend what the team later refers to as “the other f-word.” His temper snaps and he leaps into the stands to confront the fan in Colin’s defence. 

it’s a powerful scene and--with an American audience in mind--it does make sense that the writers would choose that word as the one to set Isaac off. It’s a word some Youths have been reclaiming recently, but for American-grown people my age (not coincidentally also Jason Sudeikis’ age), we grew up knowing it as a vicious slur and have a visceral reaction to hearing it. 

British people don’t. They use it casually, in reference to a cigarette. In its longer form it means meatballs. People here are broadly aware that it’s a slur in American English but they don’t feel the impact of that, not the way Americans do. It was years before i stopped flinching every time my coworkers went out for a cigarette. I’ve had gay coworkers who used it (to mean cigarette) without a twitch. Both Isaac and that fan would have grown up hearing it, would be completely inured to it as a word that carries a powerful message of hate. It’s unlikely both that the fan would use the word as a slur and that Isaac would have such a deeply felt reaction to it. 

and honestly? That did take me out of the scene a little bit. Similar to the S1 episode where Keeley teases Roy about meeting in a “parking lot.” 

however, unlike parking lot which has no place in that dialogue, i fully understand the choice of “the other f-word” over a British slur. The aim of the scene was to provoke a visceral response from viewers, to make them want to get up in that fan’s face the way Isaac did. No British word, however more authentic to the setting and characters, would provoke the necessary reaction from American viewers. Call it linguistic licence, i guess. 

it’s very interesting though how Ted Lasso is set firmly in Britain when it wants to be a fish-out-of-water comedy but can’t be so British that it confuses American viewers. A delicate balance. Jokes about biscuits and tea are a-okay but car park goes a step too far. There’s a linguistics dissertation lurking in there somewhere. 

someone else can write it. 

[girl4music]

“But I can tell you this, Xena… you’re the only constant in my life, and unless you know something I don’t, I’m not going anywhere. So I’m going to say the most selfish thing I’ve ever said to you: that baby’s my baby too, and I deserve a chance to fight for it as much as you.”

- Gabrielle, ‘Them Bones, Them Bones’ (Original script dialogue.)

They knew what they were doing with this scene. Especially the way Xena AND Gabrielle’s heads turn back to the baby at exactly the same time as if they were both proud of making that little bundle of joy between their arms. Also notice how Gabrielle only steps away after a glance towards Xena and Eve, clearly assessing that they both need to be alone while she responds to Hercules' request. As if to say "You stay here, I'll take care of business."

Dialogue is rarely ever needed between these two because the body language communicates so much in small intimate scenes like this. Both the mark of great acting and great chemistry between the actresses. I've always said that it's the quiet moments that truly reveal the depth of the loving relationship between Xena and Gabrielle. Whether you see it in a romantic way or not, you cannot deny that it is not filled with unconditional love. Especially where Gabrielle is concerned.

In fact...

I'm reminded of what Ares says in the ice cave in confession to what he believes to be a dead Xena about the dichotomy between his love for Xena and Gabrielle's love for Xena.

"You're with her now. I handled you all wrong. I know that. She knew what you needed - unconditional and unselfish love - and I couldn't give that to you. But I appreciated you in ways she never could. Your rage, your violence, your beauty. When you sacrificed yourself for others, you were hers. But when you kicked ass, you were mine. I love you, Xena."

- Ares, ‘Looking Death In The Eye’.

And I back up what I say in my character study thesis. The reason why Gabrielle won Xena's affection every time wasn't just because she was good at that moment. It's because she was given a CHOICE to be good in EVERY moment. Ares never offered her that choice. It was always "be mine, or die". Gabrielle always did - she would just take herself out of the picture if Xena chose evil or stand against her.

Such a striking difference is often not spoken about in this love triangle the writers obviously intended between Xena, Gabrielle and Ares. It says that the show never really went one way or the other on the romance not just because it couldn't... But because it didn't have to. There was importance in keeping the romance balanced although many wouldn't admit to it and would rather just complain about it instead. As for me, I think it's one of the most groundbreaking things about it. Rob was definetly right about keeping it this way and I back him up on it 100%. We knew that Gabrielle had Xena's heart. However, the conflict in Xena's heart would always remain because Ares would always be around to remind her of her former life. And in so doing this, we learn that Xena could never be definitively one way or the other either. This is what made her character so damn dynamic. And why it was leagues ahead of its time in queer representation. Even today, a bisexual narrative like this is never done. Or rather - it’s done but it’s never written this well. It’s never connected to the major narratives and themes. And that’s because the queer characters are never the major characters. They’re never the actual narrative. Instead, the queer characters have to wrap around it. And that’s the wrong way of going about doing this.

I don’t care what anyone says.

Gabby was the daddy.

Or the other mother, if you prefer. Although, I would definetly say Gabrielle’s role was typically that of a father. I don’t like gender norms, roles and stereotypes either but that doesn’t mean those are off-limits to a woman.

I’ve said before that the fact Gabrielle was depicted as doing the “typical father” role means the writers were abolishing the belief that only a man can do it and therefore using gender norms, roles and stereotypes as a way to promote equality and solidarity.

If you have a problem with me calling Gabrielle the “father” of Eve, you have to understand I am speaking from the point of view they would have in their time. There was no such thing as a same-sex couple in Ancient Greece in the sense that they could marry and have children without the participation of a male figure. Of course gay couples would exist but would not be socially accepted. Hell, it wasn’t even socially accepted a decade ago. What makes you think it was then? So me referring to Gabrielle as that male figure in Eve’s life should be seen as a compliment, not an insult. I’m saying she had the capability to fill that role and she wasn’t even a man. Just like how Xena could fill the role of a warlord and she wasn’t a man. Can’t you see that I am giving them respect as people who can take on both the feminine and masculine side of situations? Xena and Gabrielle were human anomalies and that’s bloody awesome as far as I’m concerned. I wish more shows today had that kind of gender roles representation with their characters. Sadly, they don’t.

[jensettermandu]

-𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙫𝙚𝙣, 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡𝙨 𝙜𝙤 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙮𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙚-

-𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗵𝗶𝗹𝗹𝘀 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗷𝘂𝗱𝗴𝗲-

1.7

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𝘨!𝘱 𝘫𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘦 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

content warning; MDNI, morally grey characters, toxic relation/situationships, domestic abuse, violence, substance use/abuse, mentions of weight/toxic beauty standards, dubcon, a lot of smut (spitting, spanking, bondage, choking, rough sex, etc. appears), age gap (legal), mentions of sensitive topics, not made for glorification of toxic relationships.

wc;12+k

a/n; dubcon; sex under the influence of substance

[One week ago]

The morning didn't start like it always did for the both of them, not only were they together in the morning, but this time was different from when they woke up each morning when they stayed in the hotel together.

Y/n hadn't been able to sleep through the whole night.

Each time she woke up, Jennie was asleep and still there and each time she fell asleep again Y/n hoped the next time she woke up the woman would have left. She couldn't bring herself to be the one to leave.

Jennie couldn't sleep either.

Each time she opened her eyes Y/n was still there and that was the reassurance she needed to be able to go back to sleep only to wake up and look for reassurance again.

It shouldn't have been this hard, Y/n knew it. They were only tangled up in the bed sheets, yet she couldn't escape whenever she tried. With each movement, with each try to get away, their grip only got stronger, giving her new reasons to stay that always worked. However, at some point, Y/n knew that she had to cut through the sheets instead of trying to crawl away from something that had her in a chokehold, it tied around her neck like a noose. She wanted to breathe, no, she needed to breathe and suddenly Jennie wasn't what she needed.

Jennie had left the room to take a call and the girl took the opportunity to grab her clothes to start changing because she knew that she needed to get home at some point. She still had classes and she had no clue how she was going to pull through them unless she was high. With no money she knew that she no longer would have access to coke and neither did she want any from Jennie because she had made a choice.

Her mind drifted off to the Adderall prescriptions that she hadn't used since she started using actual illicit amphetamine and cocaine. Y/n knew that it would now not become a drug only to help, but to abuse and she cursed herself for knowing that she had a hard time stopping.

She wasn't addicted.

There just wasn't anything good in her life anymore and if not drugs then she could give up because she was losing everything, slowly but surely.

She was just about to remove Jennie's tee from her body, to strip off everything the woman had left her. Y/n wanted it all gone all while knowing that the scars that Jennie left were permanent. Someone who wasn't supposed to be part of her life, to begin with, someone who she did not belong with, someone who intruded and cut through her forcefully had left scars that would never heal. The guilt, the shame, the impaired judgment, the sinkhole. It would always be there with her every step she took.

Jennie had left her mark whether Y/n wanted to admit it or not.

There would always be a reminder that at some point in her life, Jennie had been part of it.

"What're you doing?"

She stopped, the tee falling back down her body as she was only in it and her underwear. Y/n felt the hand snake under the tee and grab hold of her waist and Jennie turned her around. There was no fight as she pushed Y/n down to sit, her eyes drilling into the girl she would never allow to leave. 

Y/n was hers, her caged animal and no matter how much she fought for freedom Jennie would never allow her to escape. Y/n was like an endangered species, a one-of-a-kind, she was rare and Jennie always needed what was best.

Y/n looked up at Jennie who was holding onto her shoulder to keep her down as if Y/n would try to run any second. Could Jennie sense it too? It was as if something shifted after last night, it was like a landslide, and everything was destroyed now. What they had was in the past and now there was only space for a future. 

Y/n was aiming for one without Jennie.

She didn't want her in her life. She knew better but still did worse by not being able to do what was right. Y/n wished Jennie could have been a bit more self-aware. It was hard to do right when she was blinded by meaningless rays and the promise of a brighter world with Jennie because she understood her and no one else would. Y/n hated how self-aware she was and how she chose to ignore it.

"Seriously right now." Y/n started, trying to lean back when Jennie cupped her cheek but she wasn't allowed to.

Jennie heaved a sigh through her nose. "I'm being nothing but serious, Y/n."

"I want to quit." What did she want to quit? Everything. Y/n had made up her mind, it was as if it hit her during the night. Jennie made her realise that the reflection that she had become of her was one that Y/n did not want to be. It was time for the girl to throw out the reflection that never had been her, the one she had faded into and find her own. She needed to find herself again.

"Quit what?"

Jennie hated that the numbness in her had cracks, it wasn't fair that Y/n could do it to her when Y/n wasn't supposed to matter.

"Whatever this is, the drugs and everything, Jen—"

"What for?" There was something off about how Jennie wasn't lashing out at her. It made Y/n even more nervous as she stared at the woman who controlled her world in a way that made it slowly go under. It scared her that one person was capable of making a whole world go under. 

"I don't feel good."

Y/n had never felt this horrible mentally and physically in her life. It was as if every single atom in her body had burned out. Her body was collapsing, she could feel it give up every day more and more. She was terrified that by the end of it, there would only be a piece of her left and that even that little piece would get buried six feet under. This felt like a death that she was well aware of, she was watching herself die. 

Jennie scoffed, utterly annoyed by the girl's words. It felt like Y/n was trying to be better than her and it was pissing Jennie off. There was no way she would let Y/n quit anything if Jennie wasn't able to get the willpower to quit herself. If Jennie was going under she was going to drag Y/n down to the bottom with her. Y/n couldn't be better than her, the billionaire had found her mutual and wasn't going to allow her to be better.

Jennie never felt jealousy or envy. She never had to because she had everything yet when it came to Y/n she always felt it. This time was different than when it came to her boyfriend. She couldn't help but feel jealous over the fact that despite calling Y/n all types of profanities she was everything Jennie was, but there was one thing Y/n was that Jennie wasn't.

Y/n was better than her.

The girl had the will to quit which Jennie didn't.

"That's the point of drugs, they make you feel good so why would you want to quit feeling good."

She wanted to sell Y/n false dreams, knowing that they were true even if they would destroy her in the long run. However, Jennie refused to be alone, she knew that deep down she was scared to be alone, to die alone. It wasn't fair that someone in similar shoes to hers was capable of getting out of them but she wasn't.

The words only made Y/n more nervous, knowing how hard it would be to quit. It was almost enough to make her not want to quit. She knew it would be impossible, but if she was going to let drugs ruin her life she had to at least quit Jennie because she sped up the process and Y/n wasn't able to keep up anymore.

"What if I want to leave?" She questioned as Jennie ran her thumb over her cheek, caressing the soul she had tainted to her liking. 

"You can't leave." Jennie wouldn't let her leave.

"What?" She breathed out at the assertive tone of Jennie that made her frown, drowning in dread at what was about to come next. Why was Jennie so hard to quit? Y/n was trying, but Jennie wasn't letting her go and the hills peeking inside from the ceiling-high windows that lit up the room with natural light were her witness.

"Unless you want the video of you sucking dick in the bathroom to spread."

Jennie watched how more of Y/n's soul got crushed under the heavy weight she put on her with those words. She wouldn't stop, she wouldn't stop until Y/n was so damaged that she wouldn't be able to breathe without Jennie being there to help her. She was ready to do everything to have her to herself and she would get it by hook or by crook. Jennie wasn't losing her. Jennie would put her into the ICU where she would be connected to the woman to stay alive, she was going to be her lifeline.

Y/n had become the drug she needed and she couldn't afford withdrawals and no other drug could replace Y/n. 

The roles had somehow changed, but she was determined to make it mutual. 

The girl inhaled deeply, blinking her eyes while trying to figure out if she was still breathing or not as heat ran over her whole body. Her brain racked for a moment when she had possibly been filmed committing the crimes of selfish lust. Each breath grew heavier with tears that slowly gathered at how little she remembered about these past months. It was frustrating.

Each memory was a blur, being nothing but a reason as to why she forgave Jennie as she couldn't remember what the woman had ever done to her. Not only that but Y/n had been blatantly ignoring each warning Jennie had flashed at her and had painted every single flag green.

Why couldn't she remember anything?

Did she forget it? Or did she choose to forget it? She couldn't remember that either. 

Y/n felt a lump in the pit of her stomach, she could feel it grow, and it started to grow so fast that she wasn't able to adjust to it. It felt like she would explode. The self-hatred was overwhelming now, she despised herself. The girl couldn't even hate Jennie anymore. She could feel it all coming right up about to push up her throat.

"What?"

Was all she could push out from between her lips.

Was this why Jennie didn't snap at her? Did she have her all chained up? Was Jennie going to get to play with Y/n however she liked until she got bored? It was painful, it was eating at her, Y/n had enough, but Jennie wasn't letting go. She was tired, she truly was and it felt like ending it was the only way out. The billionaire had managed to crush her soul. Y/n was still looking for a little piece left. A piece of her to grasp at and keep to not forget that she was human. 

The woman hummed, her hand falling from Y/n's face as she reached into her jeans and took out her phone. Y/n watched, dreading it and unsure if she wanted to see it. It was enough proof that Jennie took out her phone yet she stayed like she always did to see what Jennie would do next no matter how much it backfired.

Y/n was drowning in her selfish lust, and Jennie saw no reason why she shouldn't be allowed to do the same.

"You think you get to choose when you leave, Y/n—" She scoffed and turned her phone around. "I will fucking remind you every single time of where your place is...Right under my fucking feet because I own you."

Last resort, Y/n tried to grab hold of the phone only to get shoved back onto the bed. Jennie turned her phone off and before Y/n could try and get up she grabbed hold of the girl's jaw, forcing her to stay down as she pushed her palm right against her chest. The pressure felt like it would break her bones and Jennie stared down at her as she got on the bed. A barely there whine left Y/n's lips, Jennie making sure to show her where she belonged as she placed her knee on her stomach.

She'd do everything to remind Y/n that she could hurt her in more ways than one, that she could ruin her life with a video. That she could ruin all her relationships. That she could beat her to a pulp if she wanted to. That she could do so much but chose not to and Y/n had forgotten to appreciate it, to be grateful that Jennie treated her better than the rest of the women. 

Y/n couldn't help but wonder when she would stop being the victim. Was she even truly a victim? It felt like she was willingly becoming one to Jennie. That she would destroy herself a million times just to be with Jennie. 

That flickering will was still left in her, she pushed at Jennie's shoulders to get the woman off of her. It did nothing when her hands got pinned above her head. The more she struggled the tighter the grip got, the more she tried to break free the more trapped she got. There was no escape by force and she knew that her only chance would be when Jennie messed up. When that grip would turn into something more.

"You said that I can trust you."

Why? Just why did she always have to sound so weak in front of Jennie? Why did she always have to prove the woman's every single point? Perhaps she never was stronger than Jennie. Not mentally either. Her voice only crackled like a fireplace, like thin ice being stomped, it crumbled beneath Jennie. It could perhaps be the last of her and Jennie had even gotten what's best of her at this point.

"And you can, you can trust me not to spread the video if I can trust you to not leave."

"What's it to you if I leave or stay?"

Neither wanted the other to leave, it was a game, it was a battle and it wasn't about who would surrender first but about who would escape the war first. To leave the battlefield empty was what would damage the other the most, but the second one tried to leave the other cornered and so it turned into a war without an end.

"Nothing."

"Exactly–"

"But it's everything to you, isn't it? What will you do without me, Y/n? There's a reason why you called me out of all people. You know yourself that you can't leave because you need me."

All those thoughts she had about not needing Jennie washed away with the waves. The reminder; it was like a cold breeze at the beach. It was unsettling yet it felt good under the blazing sun. 

She looked her in the eye, tears pooling in them and glimmering like an ocean in the summer. It was truly a beautiful sight to Jennie. How could she ever lose Y/n? She cared too much about her and knew that she could give her what she needed. Jennie knew that she could give her everything Asher couldn't, but Y/n had yet to realise it. 

Jennie removed the pressure from Y/n whose tears spilled at last, not having the power to not look weaker than she already did in front of Jennie. What was the point when Jennie had already seen her at her worst, at her weakest moments since she always brought her to them? The woman let go, knowing that there was only one person Y/n could find comfort in as she scooped her up to mend the broken pieces back together. This was Jennie's job, this was her nine-to-five and Jennie loved every second of this miserable cycle as she hugged Y/n who curled up into her while crying into the crook of her neck.

Did the tears go unnoticed like in the rain? No, each seeped in through Jennie's pores and nestled itself deep within her. Perhaps one day it would all come and she would feel bad for all the tears she had caused. That it would finally make her realise that she had to change to save Y/n from more tears. 

"I hate you, I hate you so much." The anger couldn't subside, but Y/n's punches had always been weak as Jennie grabbed hold of the girl's fist after it collided with her shoulder a few times. She sighed, feeling the girl bunch up her shirt at her back, unable to take her anger out on her because Y/n knew that she needed Jennie.

"Do you? I know exactly who you hate Y/n, trust me, we are so fucking alike that it's sickening and makes me want to fucking strangle you."

Her breath brushed her ear, it was sickening to listen to but Y/n took in every word as she just cried in Jennie's arms. The way Jennie let the tears sink into her marrow, Y/n let the words get tattooed on her skin, tattoos she knew she would regret, but she couldn't help but want them now and regret them later. 

She listened to Jennie as if she was her God.

"You hate the fact that you cannot hate me no matter how much you fucking try because, in the end, the only person you hate is you. You hate yourself so much but will continue staying in denial about it so you hate and blame everyone around you for choices that you have full control over, but every day you lie to yourself and say that you don't have any control over anything."

Why did Jennie have to be right?

"That's why you don't leave even if you can because you don't want to and not because I say so."

What was the best way to trap a bird?

To break its wings.

Jennie knew how to sell Y/n the idea of being hopeless to look for hope in her.

She wasn’t her prison in the end, she was the church Y/n went to, her God and not a jail, but a sanctuary. Without Jennie, Y/n had no hope. 

[Present]

Jennie reached the bathrooms and didn't have to guess which one the girl was in when one opened. She took her hand out of her pocket and pushed the vixen back inside as she stepped into the bathroom that was lingering with alcohol and the sweet floral scent of Y/n who grabbed hold of her shoulders to not trip. The anger felt unimaginable and she hadn't felt like this in a while. In ages. Jennie had forgotten how to feel because of the numbing drugs and alcohol. She made money and consumed air to stay alive while ruining her body.

She locked the door after her.

"You look fucking pissed," Y/n grumbled as suddenly Jennie only ruined her high, the woman wasn't her high anymore, but she was what made everything a bad trip. Y/n let go of her shoulders and was about to get over to lean against the black marble sink. Jennie helped her with it when she grabbed hold of her sore wrists, making Y/n whine as she was turned around and bent over the sink.

"Who else do you fuck aside from me?" Jennie questioned while working on the belt that held up her loose jeans. Her other hand caressed the girl's arched back and she looked into the mirror to meet eyes that looked blank with no life left in them. They were still sparking with substances and it let her know that she was still alive. Her nose was red and runny as she sniffled, pupils big and her skin scorching warm.

"You and..." Y/n trailed off in thought and Jennie clenched her jaw as she reached for the girl's dark long hair. She bunched it up, her belt undone, but her jeans still on as she pressed into the girl's ass to get closer.

"I'm not fucking joking around with you."

The tone despite being drunk and high, the tone was a warning one. Y/n had heard it many times now and it always came with further screams, harsh grasps, things breaking and Y/n flinching yet staying. The vixen sighed and pushed herself onto Jennie, being able to feel the latter's hard cock through her drawers as her skirt wasn't covering anything now that she was bent over the marble. Jennie sharply exhaled through her nose that flared at the contact.

"Just you, and Asher at times."

Jennie tightened her grip on Y/n's hair who whined as she tried to pull away but her drunk body lacked any real strength, especially compared to Jennie's who was close to just tipsy. The cold steel of the buckle pressed into her thighs, making Y/n shift at the cold on her warm body, unable to comprehend whether it was nice or not. Her body was being pressed against the marble in a suffocating way from how much pressure Jennie put on her to show who owned who. 

"Why did you kiss him and follow him to the bathroom? Tell me the fucking truth if you were going to let someone else touch you the way I do." She would kill him and Y/n and she didn't like that fact. Jennie was sure that she would lose control she would never be able to get hold of it again once it was lost. 

Jennie reached her other hand around the girl and trailed up and under her skirt as she caressed her inner thighs which were even warmer. It was like touching upon a golden fire, the skin smooth and perfect, warm and welcoming to get buried between. Y/n let out a shuddering breath, her one hand holding onto the edge of the marble as her other was balled up into a fist with nowhere to hold onto. She stared into Jennie's eyes through the mirror and was reminded of how she wasn't allowed to forget her at all.

"I just did because it didn't come to mind when he kissed me until it did–only came here for coke," the girl replied, her voice in a rasp. She had forgotten how easily cheating happened. In the same way she had fucked Jennie, the guy just kissed her and it all just happened before she realised it fully. Jennie trailed her fingers over the lace, feeling the wetness that had soaked through them. It made her chest heave with more anger to think that the girl was already wet and that it possibly wasn't because of her.

"Why are you so cheap?" The anger was boiling inside her, it was so close to blowing the lid. It was dangerous how Y/n had all the control over Jennie's emotions yet she did anything but try to control them in a way that didn't end with both of them hurt. 

"What–"

"You whore yourself for some drugs. You'd let all of them fuck you in this bathroom, wouldn't you? Fucking let them fuck you one after another if not all at the same time." The anger bubbled in Jennie's chest at her own words and she retreated her hand from under Y/n's skirt who whined. Her voice only bounced off of the empty marble walls with the music being almost completely muffled.

Y/n knew what she was going to do. She was going to leave after taking a line and not fuck anyone. It hadn't even crossed her mind. Jennie didn't have to know that though. She didn't like the way she was the only one being played with. If Jennie could play with her then Y/n could play with Jennie. 

"So what if I would? What's it to you when you're the same as them to me? It had nothing to do with you and still doesn't aside from the fact that you had them leave and now I missed out."

Y/n knew what worked and what would get the woman furious even if she was drunk and could barely make out Jennie's face because of how blurry her vision was. It was the truth even if she only wanted to anger Jennie to get out her frustrations. The billionaire was like them and no one who should feel like more to Y/n yet did. What she did had nothing to do with Jennie yet it did because she let her get involved, she let her interfere in her life and was now stuck in a godforsaken loop where they hated and then made up each time taking one step forward and ten steps back.

Y/n's life was falling apart, Jennie had dragged her down with her and now Y/n was falling even further than the woman. She was making sure to return the favour of now dragging Jennie down.  

She tried to push herself up but got harshly shoved back into the marble and it knocked the wind out of her as her stomach pushed into the edge of the sink. It made her whine again at the pain. Jennie undid her zipper and pulled her pants and boxers down enough. She got blinded by her anger and the emotions that were making her feel like she would throw up. 

All Y/n could see when she looked into the mirror was Jennie's frown and anger swirling around her. The aura surrounding the woman was anything but pleasant and Y/n was drawn to the violent peace Jennie had created. It permanently caused a fear in Y/n whenever she was alone with Jennie, but that fear turned into something that made her veins course with adrenaline and so she had grown addicted to Jennie. 

"You think you get to fuck around with someone else while running around my mind? What's it to me? The fact that I own your pussy and only I know how to fuck you right."

Y/n gasped at the pain, it stung her lungs when Jennie didn't let her even comprehend the fact that she was about to push into her. She got filled to the hilt, Jennie forcefully pushing through the tight walls as they clamped around her cock. Her lips were left ajar and her cheek pressed down onto the cold marble as she tried to catch her breath between the moans and whines that started to leave her mouth. The woman splitting her open in a way that was painful but she had gotten used to it. Jennie bit her lower lip as she gripped with all her strength at the girl's small waist while pushing her head down against the marble and slamming her hips into Y/n's.

Y/n closed her eyes at the pleasure and pain that was burning through her body. It was like adding more fuel to a fire, making it bigger and hotter. The pain brought her back to reality while the pleasure tried to drag her back to the city of sins and so she found herself stuck in the middle again. It was breaking her all together and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. Her knuckles turned white as she gripped at the edges, her tears running, the only thing saving her from even more embarrassment was the waterproof makeup.

Jennie's cock fucked her raw, dragging along her tight and sopping walls, once again being able to feel each other skin to skin as Jennie didn't care about requests for condoms. She would, but she felt no need to respect the girl's request after feeling disrespected the whole night. The gasps, whimpers and moans of the vixen bounced off the walls, her words not coming out as Jennie grunted with each hard and deep thrust, pistoning into the wet cunt as she went balls deep.

"Fuck, fuck, Jen–please." Y/n had no clue what she was pleading for as her scrambled brain was trying to come into a whole piece and figure out what was going on. Her knees gave up themselves as the alcohol was finally getting the best of her and the tequila truly kicked in. Her world was spinning violently unable to handle it as the drugs had become overwhelming and it still didn't feel like she was in her own body.

The discomfort in her tight cunt was slowly disappearing as her walls adjusted to Jennie's thick member that was throbbing inside her. She could feel the bulbous tip caressing her G-spot with each thrust.

"Please what? What're you pleading for, whore?"

Jennie let go of the girl's hair and pulled her up by her shoulder enough to reach under her arms and grope at her chest through the top. She could feel the piercings and hard nipples that were protruding through the material of the tight-cropped halter top. Her hand grabbed at Y/n's breast, roughly playing around with it. Her front pressed into her back as she kept up at her hard and deep thrust, only slowing down her pace. Her hand wrapped around the girl's waist and found its way under her skirt. Jennie's finger found its way under the underwear and to the swollen and pulsating bud.

"Oh fuck, too much—"

Jennie nuzzled her face through Y/n's hair and found the girl's ear who whined at the way she bit on it. The woman playing with all her sensitive parts as she was fucking her pussy raw, playing with her clit and chest, panting wetly by her ear while nipping and tugging on it.

"I'm going to fill you up so good, I will fuck all my cum into your tight little cunt. You're going to take it all whether you want it or not."

Despite not wanting to have the woman's cum in her to save some of her dignity, the words made her pussy clasp down at the words. Jennie bellowed at the feeling, the girl letting her know how much she would love to get creampied by her, but her self-worth was in the way of it happening. "All for you—empty my balls right into you, slut."

Y/n moaned, her legs trembling as her body grew tense from the abuse her pussy was being put through, the fingers continued to circle her clit and the rigid cock kept splitting her in the middle as it dragged along her warm walls. With each thrust her pussy clenched as she couldn't control it, her body reacting on its own without her brain's comprehension because she didn't want to enjoy it. Y/n was supposed to despise the woman and not push more into her. She was stuck in a dilemma and Jennie was doing everything to abuse the time it took for Y/n to choose.

Jennie looked up into the mirror, the siren eyes barely open and red as they rolled back, the girl crying in pain, pleasure, and euphoria, drowning in sin only Jennie would be able to accept. The orgasm made her tighter when her body strained with waves washing over her as everything went black in her already empty mind and all the sounds died down fully. Her heart was beating in a way that hurt and the warmth became unbearable. 

For a moment Y/n was so high up that she felt nothing, for a moment her world stopped and she was floating. The abyss was empty, it was endless and it numbed everything. That was exactly where she wanted to stay, that was exactly what she needed and not Jennie, that was exactly what she wanted as she didn't want Asher. It let Y/n realise how truly selfish she was, but she couldn't help it after feeling too much for such a long time. All she wanted and needed was to be empty,

The moans fell one after another in a way that made Jennie reach her edge as the aftershocks Y/n's pussy was going through were milking her cock the way they were throbbing. The older woman didn't wait as her hips stuttered and she buried herself as deep as possible in the girl to make sure her cum would stay. Y/n could barely gather herself before she felt Jennie's cum splatter and paint her walls as the woman groaned, the liquid warm and filling her more than she already was by her dick.

Jennie panted through her nose by her ear with her jaw clenched and eyes closed. Her legs managed to go numb for a second and she grabbed hold of Y/n's waist. She swallowed and bit her tongue after she pushed herself up. Jennie pulled out and stepped back from the drunk girl who found herself on the cold floor at the way her body wasn't held up anymore.

Y/n barely managed to turn, her knees crossed and her tears still running, her chest heaving as she was right back to feel everything. Jennie didn't say a word as she fixed her pants and buckled them back up. Her anger was still left for the girl, the sex hadn't been enough. 

Y/n's gaze had been stuck on Jennie's designer sneakers, zoning in and out as her body trembled. The tears were more than just from what had happened between them. It was all too much.

The vixen looked up at last with eyes that lingered of confusion, hurt, and self-hatred at the bag of coke that was thrown onto the floor in front of her. It made her breath hitch as the lump felt like a tight grip around her throat at the way Jennie was treating her. She felt cheap, she felt degraded in a way she never wanted to be degraded or humiliated in. She felt all that dignity and self-worth disappear as Jennie had fucked her, filled her with cum and now threw coke in front of her. Y/n felt like a dog, she felt like all those profanities Jennie called her. Like an actual whore. Someone she fucked and paid with drugs.

Jennie was looking down at her, she felt like dirt under her shoes.

She always had been just that.

This was the only nothing she was allowed to feel around Jennie. 

"It's what you do, isn't it? You spread your legs for these things."

"Jennie–"

The woman cleared her throat and turned to walk out the door.

"You're no better than my boyfriend if you leave," Y/n mumbled through the lump in her throat as the tears of pleasure never stopped but only turned to ones of hurt. She was holding back on her sobs as she stared down at the bag that had been thrown in front of her. Her payment for letting the woman fuck her, she felt used and maybe that was what she had been all along. Perhaps she had deluded herself into thinking that Jennie wasn't just using her for pleasure when in reality it was exactly what Jennie was doing. Using her. 

Jennie always went on about how Asher was a terrible boyfriend, and how she would be so much better. She would agree, but it wouldn't be possible if she left through that door. Jennie was messed up but so was Yn in her way and pairing them with anyone else would only turn into abuse of someone innocent like she was doing to Asher. 

They were perfect for each other, the way they acknowledged the ugly in each other and painted it beautiful. Meeting each other only destroyed them. Their flaws were flawless. It was meant to happen, it was a string that tied around their necks and choked them whenever they stayed away from one another. 

Jennie's hand was on the handle that was cold in her warm palm, cooling it down as she stared at the black door. It vibrated faintly in her hold because of the music. She huffed and her fist clenched before she inhaled. Her muscles went limp when she was about to push the handle down, but she couldn't. Her chest heaved as she wanted to leave, but at the same time she didn't. It was as if her body gave up all her strength whenever she tried to walk out on the girl to win the war and leave Y/n to suffer the same way she made Jennie suffer. 

The sniffle that came from Y/n made her hand fall off the handle and the anger mixed with all these other feelings. The feelings she had always tried to lock out, but they always broke the door down when Y/n appeared. 

"I'm sorry."

She at last turned around at the broken sorry that came from the girl as her voice was faint. Y/n's chest was heaving, slow and heavy breaths with small sniffles in between. It looked as if the final thread had snapped and the sweater was completely torn. Y/n was a broken mess as she was crying on the floor beside the marble sink, leaning against the wall. 

Jennie had broken her before, she enjoyed doing it because it let her hold the girl after, but she hadn't seen Y/n this way yet. This was a broken she wasn't sure if she would be able to fix and it made her stomach drop. It made her breathing pick up at the nerves that were twisting and turning, and her chest burned the harder she tried not to care. 

A hiccup followed and she covered her face with her palms that were covered by the leather of the jacket. She sniffled again, it made her cry more as she knew that her nose was damaged and she could feel the metallic taste in the back of her throat. Her head was pounding and nothing felt enjoyable anymore. 

For the first time in months, she wanted the high to go away, she didn't want to be drunk or high anymore. All she wanted was to go back to normal before she started to go through horrible come-downs and hangovers when she wasn't dissociating and forgetting everything from the substance abuse. To go back before she learned how to abuse things that were too good for her, from Asher to drugs. She wanted it all gone, to wash away from her body, to let the waves drag this new person away, to drown her and turn the waters into cherry wine. 

All she wanted was her old self back. The self that was gone and would never be the same because that self was the one colouring the clear waters crimson. 

She couldn't do it anymore as she gently hit the back of her head against the wall, her head feeling like it would melt. It made her sob because nothing was going away and it felt like she would be stuck in this state forever. Her fingers threaded into her hair as she pulled onto it and tried to force herself to wake up from what felt like she was in a dream everywhere she looked. She could feel her brain melting, it was as if there was a scorching steel ball melting through her head, a parasite eating at her and it hurt despite there being no actual pain. She'd do anything to make it go away whether it was to reject everything from her stomach or to kill herself. It felt like the only option left.

Anything just to possess her own body, to win it back from the substances. 

Y/n felt scared, she genuinely felt scared on drugs for the first time. Afraid it would damage her brain permanently this time and not ever let her recover back fully to what her fried brain used to be. It was a loss she would never be able to reverse. She wanted to blame everyone, Jennie, Asher, Lisa, and all of her friends, but she could still only blame herself for these mistakes. She ruined herself and no one else, she would regret going this far her whole life. 

Jennie never intended to get her dragged down this far.

"You're going to hurt yourself." She pulled away the girl's hand from her and Y/n looked at the woman. Something ran across Jennie's inside. It was without any pressure, but it was as sharp as a scalpel and cut her open in pain as she bled at the sight. The girl was way too young to have her life end in a tragedy and Jennie felt guilty.

"Please–I'm going to kill myself, Jennie. I can't, it's too much, it hurts but at the same time, it doesn't. Please." She cried as her hands clenched, this time not thinking about trying not to look weak. She was collapsing and breaking, there was nothing to fight as all her vulnerabilities were out in the open, wanting nothing more than to grasp at Jennie to hold on to the reality and not die in the world she was scared of. 

Jennie let go of her hands and gently placed them down, she reached over to Y/n's neck and ran her palm over the skin while looking the girl in the eyes. Blood slowly oozed out of her nose with tears streaming down her face. She felt for her pulse, her body warm, and it started to register in the woman's head what was happening.

"Come here..." She pulled Y/n to her, the girl being on her knees as her body collided with Jennie's who hugged around her waist. She gave her a reality to hold onto and Y/n buried her face in her shoulder as it felt less scary when she held onto someone. Someone who was Jennie and made her feel safe in their chaos. "It wasn't coke, baby–" Jennie told the girl who cried in her arms, she cradled her head and gently massaged her scalp with her fingers. "MDMA powder which isn't something you could afford to take tonight." She mumbled, feeling even more guilt as she could have done more. 

The girl's chemicals were crumbling, she was crashing and there was nothing left for her brain to produce. She figured that Y/n knew it too since she was able to tell the difference, but it didn't matter at a moment like this. Jennie knew that she was the reason for all of this and would have to live with it. Would Y/n ever be able to recover from this? Jennie could only hope. 

She tried to put her anger aside which was mixing with guilt and everything else while Y/n was in despair. It only turned into something worse.

The vixen was on the brink of doing something to take her own life just to get rid of this feeling. She helped her sit back while holding onto her and took her phone out to text and get some help. Her eyes shifted between her phone and the girl who had somewhat calmed down, but looked like all life had been drained from her–the will to live. This was beyond what Jennie could repair. 

Y/n didn't register when Jennie let go of her to open the door while picking up the bag of coke.

"I will drive myself, just have them help me get her into the car," Jennie said as she rubbed her palms against her thighs unable to stop the emotions she didn't want to harbour inside of her. They were coming to life and she was feeling more than she could handle. Chaeyoung looked past the older woman and at the girl who looked like a mess. Her eyes came back to Jennie, looking over the blood smeared on the white tee, Jennie's skin damp and eyes swirling with different emotions.

"Did you...lose it again?"

"No, Chaeyoung!" Jennie snapped at the question and yanked the keys out of the woman's hold. It had all frustrated her, not only hadn't she had much to drink or re-dosed on anything for the past hour, but now she had a girl losing her mind on the ground and her friend asking whether or not she had hurt Y/n physically. This was too much for Jennie too, everything was coming all at once and the control she never had to begin with was spiralling even more out of control. A blazing fire that burned and started to destroy everything. It wasn't even possible to save anything. 

"I'm just asking." She defended and Jennie shoved her away from the door and stepped out, pushing her further away, making the blonde stumble and hold onto the wall. Her friend didn't find it a good idea for the older woman to take care of Y/n when she was already taking her anger out on everyone else. "Could you please take her to my fucking car?" She forced out at the man who at last walked into the bathroom that smelled of sorrow, regret, and pain, knowing that it would always linger around the two of them. 

"What happened and are you sure you can drive her? Should you even—" She watched the person she was friends with but also worked with open the bag with cocaine. Jennie opened the small bag and used her pinky to scoop up the fine powder and quickly sniffed it up before rubbing the rest over her gums.

"She's fucking high out of her mind and needs to get out. I can fucking drive her." Jennie said and held the door open wide for the man who held the girl around her waist, helping her walk.

"Okay, but you need to calm down first."

"Shut up, Chaeyoung and do what you are supposed to do which isn't babysit me." Jennie snarled at the woman who was getting on her nerves and let the door fall closed. The man didn't walk the way they came from, but further as he headed for the fire escape. It was like she went on auto-pilot, her body taking out the bag once again and slowing down in her pace to get more in her system before it had even started to work. She got out more on her pinky, the powder spilling as she quickly inhaled more of it and it smoothly went down and numbed her throat and face altogether. Her gums were fully numb and she shoved the bag into her pocket, stopping on the way to pick up the purse the man had dropped.

By the time they reached the car as he carried the girl down the steel stairs, Jennie's eyes had blown, and her body had heated up even more. She felt her body sweating, her tee sticking to her and she wiped at her nose as she kept sniffing and swallowing the powder that was still making it down her nose and throat which felt swollen. Her heart was pounding and her body was like a jittery zoo as she couldn't stand still, rubbing at her nose while looking around and it was empty at the back that was off-limits for VVIP clients to leave without cameras in their face.

Jennie couldn't determine if the cocaine had for the first time made it worse instead of better. 

"Thank you." She thanked the man after he got Y/n into the front seat of the black Maybach she had been driven to the club in, but would drive back home herself. Without much more thought she opened the door to the driver's side, her fingers stumbling with the keys as they were moving quicker than she managed to register. At last, she got them inside and looked over at Y/n who was half-conscious in the seat beside her, tired but unable to sleep with the MDMA still in her system.

The girl felt like a sticky mess, her body felt disgusting and she wanted to crawl out of her skin and leave it all behind. At this point she didn't want her body anymore, it was making everything crawl over her. She felt weak, barely being able to move at how drained she was while still needing to push through until the high would end. It felt like it never would, it felt like she would be stuck in the state for the rest of her life and it was slowly making her go insane. 

"Fuck, you make me so fucking angry. You couldn't have just stayed and avoided running with some fucking guys. This is what you fucking get for acting like a brat." Jennie angrily grumbled because despite the guilt it wouldn't have happened if the girl hadn't gone with them. Jennie couldn't figure out what it was. Was Y/n's plan to party until she would die? Jennie knew that she had stepped over lines and let things get further than she intended to when she started to leave drugs at every step of Y/n's life.

The car started and she didn't wait as she pushed down the gas, driving out of the back and out onto the road. Despite the rush in her body she tried her best to drive legally even if she was high which was illegal enough. Driving at the speed limit and not passing red lights was what she tried to do, not swerving into other lanes as her mind got distracted or from looking at the girl for too long. All while trying to keep the brewing frustrations and anger under control. The coke made it somewhat harder this time.

It had for the first time made it worse than better. 

"You have a shitty boyfriend."

They were always the same words and they never changed anything, but Jennie had to let it out. She hated Asher even if she had never even spoken a word to him. Despised him and wanted him out of the picture because she was quite sure that he was the reason why Y/n was constantly hurt. He let her get hurt by not being there for her. He was the reason why Y/n came to Jennie and only got hurt. If he had been enough Y/n wouldn't be in Jennie's car. If he hadn't been stuck on the person Y/n used to be, Y/n wouldn't be with him right now.

If he had been enough she would never be with Jennie or even consider cheating. 

It took a minute of silence as Y/n looked for her words and they came. The reason why she stayed even if it wasn't mutual anymore. It was all she needed to stay even if she didn't feel the same for Asher anymore.

"He loves me." That was all that made him enough, his love. Y/n didn't need more than that to stay. 

"Maybe he does, but he doesn't take care of you like he should."

Jennie wasn't the best at love, but she knew that the man loved Y/n, but he didn't do it right. He didn't care for her the way she needed to be cared for. Whatever person he knew Y/n as that wasn't the same person in the car with Jennie right now. He didn't know how to care for the girl in the car.

She did break her.

Jennie did so to hold the girl after because she needed someone to hold her.

Her intentions were good.

"He does."

"No sane man would let their girlfriend go out without him or treat her the way he does."

In the end, he wouldn't be enough for someone like Y/n. Jennie knew that because she was the one who was enough and knew what she needed.

Y/n sighed and pushed herself up, still in a state of deep derealization.

Her eyes landed on the older woman whom she couldn't deny a spot for even if she didn't want to. It had all just opened up by itself. Y/n stayed because Jennie cared and gave her the attention she needed, the care she needed. She stayed with Asher because he loved her. She stayed with both of them because she was greedy and wanted all those things. 

Jennie's hands kept clenching around the wheel as she shifted in her seat. The layer of sweat on her body glistened with the streetlamps they passed and Y/n tried to see in more than just black and white. Especially when it came to Jennie who in the end gave her so much even if she took away just as much if not more.

"What do you want me to do about it? He trusts me."

In the end, Y/n had Asher's trust. The girl that he used to know had all his trust and the new girl who was in the luxury car used that trust to feel loved despite not loving back. It was selfish, but she wanted it and needed it when she was at her worst right now. She felt the most alone when coming down and that was when Asher was there for her before she left for Jennie again. 

"That isn't what I am saying," Jennie exclaimed, it didn't make Y/n flinch as she was too gone and used to it by now. Her hand slammed against the wheel and she looked over at Y/n whose glazed eyes were blankly staring at her. "Fine if he trusts you, but why is he trusting everyone else not to harm you? There are men at every corner who would rape you without a second thought if you are all alone. I'd never let you go out without any protection, even a guard if I am not there to make sure you're always safe."

Y/n had no clue where her heart lay.

She had a clue.

It lay in a bed that wasn't hers.

In a house that wasn't a home.

It was being played with and torn to pieces. 

"What do you want me to do?" She had no clue where to even start as she was in the middle and had no clue when everything truly began. Jennie had messed with her mind because Jennie was someone who wasn't supposed to have a heart. She wasn't supposed to be forcing herself into Y/n's home, but she did and vandalised everything by marking it as hers.

"You should break up with him."

The answer was simple and Y/n knew that she had to leave Asher whether or not she wanted to. It wasn't because of the reasons Jennie told her to break up with him. It was because he didn't deserve any of this. He didn't deserve to be dragged through Y/n's dirt that she left after her and he always followed no matter how horrible she could get.

"Never," but she couldn't.

Jennie clenched her jaw and inhaled deeply at the anger that surged through her body like a fire appearing in a gas leak. The word somehow triggered something in her. She felt like her whole world was crumbling and falling to hell. That heat surged her and she felt disgusting in her own body from how warm it was, but at the same time, she never wanted to leave because of how good it also felt.

"Don't say that." She gravely let out, anger seeping out with each word. Her pores leaking with it. Her hands tightened on the wheel as she pushed her back into the seat to try and ease the tension caused by the anger. Nothing was helping and she felt the thread about to snap.

"Say what?" Y/n questioned while wiping at her nose, getting rid of the dried-up blood. Her body was still trembling, chills running over her skin and the feeling that felt like her brain was melting was still there. She tried to ignore it and not lose her mind because of it.

"That you will never break up with him." Jennie tried to explain calmly, but her voice was like a cracking rollercoaster as each word was only fuelling her anger more and more. She wished the girl could just listen to her because she wanted her to stay.

"Why shouldn't I when I know that I won't?" Y/n didn't know, but she hoped because she couldn't afford to lose the guy at the moment even if it was selfish. She had already started so she could finish with him and leave once she had escaped the pain. All she needed was for him to stay and love her until all the pain was gone until she was no longer coming down from the highs where she felt alone. 

"Because I told you not to say it." Her voice went up. It was all spiking her anger, her pulse going up and her heart beating even faster. It was getting overwhelming because of all these things happening to her and around her. She didn't want to hear those words from Y/n's mouth. She didn't want to imagine the girl staying with the guy forever as if it was certain when nothing was. Who would allow forever to happen? Not Jennie at least because nothing lasts forever.

"I'm not someone you get to tell what to do, Jen." It didn't only anger Jennie, but Y/n too who she had a hold on despite Y/n never willingly giving it to her. Jennie just took the lead and forced her onto a road she wanted her to walk.

Y/n stopped herself from flying forward by holding onto the front panel of the cream interior of the Maybach. Jennie stopped the car at the side of the road of the hills, driving to her Hollywood mansion. The conflict lingering would make the road longer than it was as she turned in her seat before the car came to a full stop and she grabbed hold of Y/n.

She gripped onto the side of her head, forcing the younger girl to look at her as she tangled her fingers in her hair. "If I fucking said to you to not say it, you don't say it, you hear me?" Whatever control the feline thought she ever had she didn't have it, but it didn't mean that she didn't lose control over herself.

"Jennie–" Y/n tried to pull away from the hold she knew was dangerous. The one hold where she stopped trusting Jennie fully because she knew what could happen. It was the only time she felt genuinely scared and unsafe with her because she had no clue how far Jennie would take it before she calmed down. The younger girl had no clue how to act or what to do. Probably be calm, but her anger got in the way and it only got worse. 

The two of them only brought out the worst in each other which was their best. 

She flinched at the way Jennie hit the seat right beside her head, the whole seat shook at the impact and Jennie gripped onto it. Her other hand gripped Y/n's neck and she fought the urge to take any of her anger out further on her. She had done everything this whole time to avoid making the same mistake she did with every girl she ever was with. However, she still couldn't help but fight the choking grip she had on Y/n's neck, loosening it but then tightening it while fighting the urge to hurt the girl more. The anger wasn't even anger anymore, it was an out-of-body feeling that Jennie got lost in.

Some were hard not to keep making as Jennie couldn't learn from them and instead grew used to the pain that came with the consequences of her mistakes.

She hit the seat again beside Y/n's head, the punches thrown at it were mere inches away from her face. The vixen could feel the wind of them and she was shrivelling into a ball on the inside from how scared she was of Jennie. At the back of her head, Y/n knew that Jennie could do anything to her, the woman could beat her up, and she could go as far as to kill her because Jennie had strength Y/n couldn't defend herself against. The girl was fearing for her life as she was trembling in her seat, fearing that one day she would die at Jennie's mercy. 

"Fucking listen to me unless you want me to fucking hurt you!" The limit had almost been reached as she towered over the girl while holding her in place by her throat. She wasn't letting Y/n out of her hold who wasn't letting Jennie win either as she only got held tighter when she tried to make Jennie let go of her. Her nails dug into Jennie's skin at the desperate attempts to get out of her hold and live another day. It was quivering inside of her like an earthquake and Y/n could feel how her insides were trembling, but she still put up a fight. 

"Fucking dipshit. I'm not your dog or some deluded girlfriend." Y/n raised her voice back only to get forced into the seat when she tried to push herself up. It hurt her throat as the impact forced out a choked squeak from her, it was like a cut against her throat from the force that was put on it. Jennie balled the leather jacket in her hold, forcing the girl to sit in her hold as she was leaning over the centre panel, her other hand on the slim neck that was bruising under her scorching touch. She always left her mark.

The hills were the only witness of the scene as the narrow roads were empty, no one was present to judge and neither of them was worthy enough to judge the other. Whatever was unleashed stayed within their walls and the hills who didn't judge. 

"I don't fucking care what you think that you are, I know what you are, whore! So, fucking listen to me unless you want me to throw you out on the street and leave you for anyone to fuck. You would fucking love that, wouldn't you?" Jennie's voice left in a rasp at how harshly she spat the words at Y/n, thrashing the girl in her hold as she pushed her back into the door by holding onto the jacket and tender skin. 

Chests heaved and not because of another passionate moment, this was a different sort of passion that they couldn't escape. They wanted to have something they couldn't have for various reasons. The biggest was that they were no good for each other even if they made each other feel in the best kinds of ways.

"Are you fucking mental? You're sick in the head, should get that anger checked out real quick before you end up in prison." 

They both felt threatened by each other's presence. They both felt the need to assert their authority. Y/n didn't want to feel like Jennie's trash, like the broken doll she liked to throw around, play with and then take care of at the end of the day. She only wanted the last part of it. Jennie didn't want Y/n to think she had a say in anything because she felt superior and she knew better what worked. If she didn't they wouldn't have come as far as they did.

"I could fucking kill you and still walk free. No one fucking touches me just like no one cares about you, you were given up for a reason."

The words were harsher than they should have been. There was a crack in the trust they had somehow managed to build up no matter how bad it got between them.

Y/n's heart picked up and she fought the lump in her throat, unable to figure Jennie's words out. She knew that she didn't have to put up with Jennie degrading her. That the threats weren't supposed to be taken lightly. Y/n couldn't figure out how Jennie could care about her but also say that she'd kill her, hurt her, and continue spitting words that bore into her head. Jennie left the ugliest scars on Y/n's skin yet claimed to care.

The pain was barely there when Y/n's palms collided with Jennie's shoulders and she shoved her away. Her grip didn't go away from her neck and she only let go of the jacket. It was a blurred moment for Jennie as it unfortunately always was when she did these things. She did them before she could think of them because she felt a strong urge to do it. There wasn't a single thing in the world that could have stopped her because of what Y/n had done to Jennie.

She raised her hand like she always did, but this time she at last landed her skin against the girl's whose ears rang when Jennie slapped her, making her weak in her own body and stop fighting back at how much force was put into it to show how much Jennie cared and loved. She finally graced Y/n with her love, and at last, she did it. She gave Y/n her love. 

Jennie's grip loosened on Y/n's neck, letting go and she stared in disbelief at the girl whose head had dropped with hair falling over her face. For the first time, Jennie could feel a pain in her hand, one that was more than just her skin colliding against Y/n's. Why did it sting so much to hurt Y/n this way? It wasn't supposed to hurt. It never did. This was supposed to finally satisfy Jennie like it always did, but it did the opposite as she stared. 

Y/n's shaky hand came up to her mouth and she held the back of her palm against her pulsating lip, taking in quivering breaths that turned into sniffles. The side of her face hurt and the ringing slowly stopped, the force had been something she had never expected. No one had ever laid their hand on her. Jennie was the first person and she couldn't figure out what she was supposed to do. It was difficult to comprehend, especially since she had never been in a situation like this. 

Her body resolved to shed tears as she couldn't hold them in as it didn't only hurt her skin, but everything inside out at what had happened. All the burdens and fears finally spilled. 

It broke her that Jennie had hurt her physically this way. Y/n could feel the way her heart shattered at the fact that the person who meant so much to her despite their relationship had put their hands on her. It cracked more and more, it started to turn into dust, and it swallowed her like a void at the realisation of what had happened. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't true, but the taste of blood spread on her tongue and she looked at the back of her palm through the tears that fell on it. The blood smeared on her pale skin.

She tried to comprehend it, but she couldn't as she heaved for breath in a way that hurt her lungs.

She tried to fight the hook when Jennie started to reel her back in with her arms wrapping around her, cradling the girl in her hold. She tried to fight it, she tried not to be reeled into Jennie's boat again, but she couldn't as she cried in her arms with apologies getting spewed in her ear. Maybe it was because she was drunk, high off of drugs that she couldn't fight the hook on her or maybe she was an easy fish to catch.

Her tears were soaked up by Jennie's shirt, heat radiating off of the woman's clammy body as she held Y/n to make sure she wouldn't leave. Everyone always left, she never cared, she let them leave, but she didn't want Y/n to leave. Y/n's fight had been weak as she stopped trying to get out of her hold, only trembling as she cried before the broken words started to leave her mouth, coming from her broken heart. 

Each word was a piece of what Jennie had shattered.

"I hate you, despise you, Jennie. I fucking hate that I still want you even if you're fucking horrible and don't deserve anything good. You make me feel like shit."

"I know, I know all of those things, Y/n–I wish it was different."

"I hate that you're right. I know that I should break up with him–I'm too scared to do it. I'm stuck waiting and hoping for him to leave me instead. I don't love him anymore, you've ruined everything for me, I've ruined everything for myself. I've ruined myself just for you!" Y/n cried, her body falling into Jennie's toxic warmth that she had grown dependent on, but she knew that she couldn't stay. She just needed to sober up and stop hurting. 

Jennie took in her words, letting them sink in and bury themselves in her skin like tattoos she would regret. She knew that she should leave the girl alone, that she should have done it from the start, but she couldn't and at least held her close beside her. She knew that nothing worked out from the start because Y/n wasn't for taking and even if she had been they didn't make it work. 

It died before it got to live.

The hills watched Jennie who had driven the car in shame, guilt, and deep-rooted self-hatred. They had watched how she helped Y/n out of the car and they never said a word because they were silent and didn't judge when Jennie closed the door to the mansion. 

She had led Y/n through the empty halls of the house that always stayed cold and empty, there had never been any life in it and each wall was engraved with pain and suffering. They had watched the meaningless parties with lives that held meaning to them die to pleasure and leave at dawn. They had watched Jennie be miserable as she only was behind closed doors.

She had helped the girl out of her clothes and changed her into her clothes before having her lay in the sheets that no one ever wanted to settle in for longer than a night. Jennie felt it would be the first and last night for Y/n too. The drunk girl was asleep as Jennie sat on her knees beside her, drowning in guilt the longer she looked at her while gently using makeup wipes to get the light makeup off of Y/n's face. Her breaths kept shuddering through the sleep she was consumed by as the clock struck 2 AM.

She had put Y/n through more than hell. 

She watched the way Y/n's nose scrunched up when she wiped along the cheek that was a shade of pink and the way she winced when she went over her busted lip. Jennie's fingers were trembling and her body was burning itself down, the high from the cocaine dying down and the need to resume the high was almost unbearable. She instead looked at Y/n with stones falling onto her chest and weighing her down. She had always managed to ignore it, always throwing everyone she hurt out before she could start caring or they would leave themselves. It wasn't something she could do with the girl. Her palms rubbed against her thighs at the itching in her body.

Y/n was right beside her at the moment, but she couldn't be sure if by tomorrow she would stay or leave.

Jennie couldn't sleep, she was restless the whole night as she lay with her head in Y/n's lap, hugging the girl's waist. At some point in the morning when the sun came up she found herself dozing off, scared to fall asleep and be left alone in the morning. Her consciousness didn't let her fall into a deep slumber as images of the night kept flashing in her head, the guilt eating at her. Never had it mattered, never did her conscious care, but now it did.

Y/n meant a lot to her, she knew what the girl meant to her.

TAGSLIST! @yxlis @jisooftme @geeminz @lisas-earlobe @badaspookie @xszn @badasgff @hwm1hyun @herwhcre @lilacura @naycore @dreamingst99 / taglist is open

masterlist

[violetmuses]

Strangers - A. Aretas 🖤

Title: Strangers - A. Aretas 🖤

Fandom: “Bad Boys” Film Universe 

Character: Armando Aretas 

Pairing: Armando Aretas + Female Reader 

Main Storyline: One mission lands chaos between you and Armando.  

Author's Note: Here's another request! Enjoy. 💜 @that-90s-girllll @afantoanything

======

2024

“No way!” You slam down the file near Mike Lowrey and just shake your head. 

“Please? I can't even party anymore.” Mike offered his second attempt. 

“It's not my fault. Have Kelly and Dorn make the arrests. I won't dress up.” Vaguely noting details of this plan, you gestured to Armando Aretas. 

“Why not?” Offering slightly accented English, Armando speaks for a moment. 

“Stop it.” You stepped away from this room and tried calming down. 

_____

“Listen to me: if she punches you in the face, I'm not stopping anything. Watch your mouth, arrest these dudes, and go home.” Warning Armando, Mike's voice transmitted through veiled earpieces. 

You chose this tight dress and moved like you're just out for a night at the club.

“Why the dress?” Armando questioned through whispers. 

“It's my job and I know better now. Might as well look good.” You pulled together for the assignment. 

“Don't I look good?” Aretas wore black and sported gold jewelry. 

“You're all right.” You smile through appearances when Armando loops his sleeved arm around your shoulder. 

“They're upstairs. Let's go.” Aretas whispered the goons’ location while “pretending” to flirt with you.  

In reality, you were stubborn and gorgeous all at once, always focused on work, but never giving him the time of day.

Keep dreaming. Armando thought. 

______

Red and blue flickered past the skyline to ground these well-known drug dealers. Aretas had slyly revealed his own badge with your credentials. 

“No casualties and you both acted with caution until the arrests happened. Good job.” One of the higher-ups nodded toward you and Armando. 

“Thank you.” Both of you grin at an official before this person leaves, but when cars pull up to drive everyone home, Armando stands by himself. 

“Are you all right?” No longer grouchy, you checked on him. 

“Yeah.” You know that he lied and offered the passenger seat of your own car.  

“C'mon.” You gestured, still driving in heels once you became ready to leave. “Let's go back to my place.” 

______

Your home is small but inviting while Armando glanced everywhere. 

“Do you need anything before I take a quick shower?” You offered the question and Aretas finally noticed. 

“No, thank you.” Armando cleared his throat while staying cordial. 

This man still watched you leave. 

______

When you step out from the bathroom, Armando nearly freezes. 

You're so pretty. His thoughts swooned without malice or weird behavior. 

Wearing no makeup this time, you settled with pajamas for the night. 

“Hey.” Aretas greeted you. 

“I'll set up the guest room for you.” You pointed down this hall again and tried to ignore his toned arms once Armando removed the suit jacket. 

Thanks.” Aretas repeated himself.

_______

He's restless despite taking the comfortable guest room. 

All over this quaint space, different photographs lined every wall. You've even bonded with Mike and Marcus after joining the police department. 

Armando couldn't relate to you, just called by Lowrey for skills and somehow avoiding prison. 

Damn. 

Knowing better than to disturb you, Aretas tries sleeping. There's no other choice. 

_____

You offered breakfast the next day, but Armando turned quiet during this meal. 

“Didn't sleep well last night.” He expressed the truth. 

“Sorry. Let's go. I'll get some better coffee.” You joked for a second and Armando hardly smiled, but you accepted the look anyhow. 

“Cool.” Armando nodded, helping you clean up the kitchen. 

Peace reigned at last. 

[babyjakes]

〈 disclaimer: this blog posts content not suitable for individuals under the age of 18. minors are strictly prohibited from viewing, sharing, or interacting with this blog. for more information on this blog's commitment to protecting minors, read our full statement here. 〉

event | jan '23 blurb night

summary | you love when your daddy gives you your special exam.

pairing | soft!doctor!daddy!steve rogers x little!reader

warnings | ddlg (soft sweet gentle loving daddy!steve <333), very long idk why, medfet elements: exam table, gloves, speculum, rectal thermometer, fingering, clit play, anal play, multiple orgasms, encouragement and praise, slight mocking/humiliation? in a very loving way

word count | 1,426

requested by @bucky-boo-bear | ok. so for the blurb night, how about consensual medfet. Like daddy!(character of your choice) preparing everything earlier, talking you through the steps even though you have done this before. Checking in with you every once in a while and taking care after.

an | friend!!!! thankyou so much for sending this one in. i was hoping we'd get to have a soft daddy moment tonight hehe <3 dr. rogers is where it all began for me, and i love this take on him. hope you enjoy!!

okay so. steve definitely runs his practice out of his home. similar to a rare condition, he has a little clinic attached to his house with a separate entrance and everything. it's a clinic for daddies/mommies and littles to come and do medical play, which he often helps out with. but your favorite times are when daddy closes the whole clinic just for you, for your designated daddy and baby exam days <3

being your daddy, he wants to make sure he's keeping a close eye on your physical health, especially down in your special areas. plus both of you love the experience of doing the exam together. there's something so special (and undeniably sexy) about the whole process for you: the table, the medical instruments, the orgasms your daddy always spaces out through the entire ordeal. plus, the sight of your daddy all dressed up for his work as a physician is just the cherry on top; you adore the way his muscles bulge in the tight white button-down shirts he wears. and the white nitrile exam gloves he buys are just the right size, fitting so snuggly around his massive hands; the tightness almost never fails to make you drool. and daddy loves the medical play just as much as you do, of course. out of all the little patients he gets to see, you're his favorite by far- none of the rest even come close to comparing.

so maybe today's the day, it's been a few months and daddy says you're due for another exam. he's prepared an exam room for you already, your favorite one with the pretty butterfly stickers on the wall. he takes you over to the clinic and into your room, helping you out of your clothes before draping the scratchy paper gown over you. "you gonna be a good girl for me today, sweetheart?" he smiles so lovingly when you give him a big nod. "of course you are, you're always so good for daddy, aren't you baby?"

next you're lifted up onto the exam table, the roll of paper crunching softly beneath you as you're set down with your legs dangling off the edge. "okay doll. go ahead and lay back for me," steve prompts. once you're lying flat, he helps you scoot closer to the edge of the table, adjusting the stirrups a little wider for you before guiding your legs up into them. you squirm a little as your gown's lifted, earning soft encouragement from your daddy. "it's okay, sweet girl. that feel a little chilly?"

he rubs his hands together for a few moments before grabbing a pair of gloves from their box on the wall and snapping them on. then, he settles down on his little rolling stool and positions himself at the end of the table, rolling his tool tray over by his side. he reaches up and adjusts the lamp above you to better illuminate your perfect petals, sitting so prettily as they wait for your daddy's tender touch. lifting up your bottom, he eases a large gauze pad underneath you to catch anything that might... eheh... drip... "okay honey. let's have a look here..."

he spreads you apart with both hands gently, cooing at the sight of your arousal already beginning to pool up in your tiny little hole. "everything looks good, sweetheart. this feel okay?" he asks as he manipulates your lips a bit more, pulling you open this way and that, "no pain anywhere?"

"no pain, daddy," you tell him, trying to keep your voice steady.

"good. just gonna insert a finger, bub. deep breath in for me..." you mewl as his first digit enters you, earning a smile from the doctor. "good, took that so well, pretty girl. everything feelin' okay?"

stumbling a bit over your breaths, you nodded. "f-feels okay, daddy. feels good."

"good," he croons, gently working his finger in and out of you. "just feeling around, baby. gonna insert a second finger. you ready?"

"y-yes daddy, yes please," you try to keep yourself from begging.

he chuckles a little at your insistence, easing in a second finger to fill you up more, building the pace of his thrusts gradually. "good, now daddy's gonna work your g-spot, okay honey? you remember what happens when daddy does that?"

swallowing hard, you nod. "y-yes daddy, i... i cum daddy, can i cum, please?" at your words, the blonde man finds your special spot with the tips of his fingers, stroking with relentless force and consistency.

"of course you can, sweet girl. go ahead, you can cum," he allows, praising you enthusiastically as you clench down on his fingers. "there it is, good girl. so good for me baby..."

he lets you recover and replaces his gloves before returning to the big drippy mess you've made, cleaning you up a little with some paper napkins before adjusting the light a little further down, turning up the brightness a few notches. "alright, little one. time to take a look at that pretty little clit of yours next." with just the tips of his gloved fingers, he begins to pull back the skin surrounding your sensitive button, smiling as it peaks out from underneath its hood. "just gonna test your sensitivity, sweetheart," he tells you before dragging a thumb up through your sticky wetness, smearing the slick all over your tiny bundle of nerves.

you whimper and squirm a bit at the feeling, and steve coos knowingly in response. "i know baby, it's so sensitive, isn't it? that feel good? you like it when daddy spreads you out and rubs right there, right on your poor little clit?"

you try to form words, but your brains all mushy as he uses one hand to spread you out, the other working its thumb in precise circles over the little knot of flesh. "please daddy, p-please," you whine.

"look at that, getting so swollen already. can feel your muscles tightening up, baby. are you gonna cum again for me?"

he's just finishing his sentence as you tumble over the edge once more, this time squirting out a little onto the gauze below. steve chuckles as your poor pussy clenches and contracts around nothing. "good, so good for me," he praises again.

next is the speculum, normally steve would lubricate it but he never has to when he's examining you. your eyes water a little at the sight of the dreaded instrument, prompting your daddy to rub your inner thigh soothingly, "you're okay, doll. daddy'll be real gentle, i promise." maybe this time you're a little extra weary of the tool, so steve rubs your clit as he inserts it to ease the discomfort. "good," he sings as you take the plastic inside your little cunt. "just gonna rotate it and open you up now, honey. deep breath- that's it..."

you whimper at the stretch, but soon you're able to focus once more on his steady strokes against your clit. "good," he breathes, adjusting the light as needed to look inside. "everything looks healthy and normal in here, little one. doing so good for me. you ready for your temperature?"

this is the last part of the routine exam, and admittedly the part you struggle with the most. steve sees the dread in your eyes, offering you a sympathetic smile as he prepares the thermometer with a hard plastic covering, opening up a packet of lubricant and squeezing it out onto the tip. "we're almost done, sweetie. just gotta put it in, then you can cum again. you gonna be brave for me?"

tears built up in the corners of your eyes, you nod down at your daddy. "good girl. alright honey," he uses his thumb to drag some of your wetness down, smearing it over your tighter little hole. you let out a squeak in fear, earning soothing shushes from steve. "shh, darlin'. just gonna feel a little pressure here..." you whine softly as the tip is inserted, but as soon as its in place, steve's thumb returns to your clit and you're able to relax again. "good girl, did so good for me," he praises. "think someone deserves to cum again, hmm?" you reach the edge quickly, the sight of you spread out before him, little clit so puffy and swollen, cunt forced open by the wings of the speculum, tiny ass stuffed with the wand of the thermometer, the most glorious thing steve's ever seen.

"come on, sweetheart. cum for daddy, you've been such a good little patient today."