#will you still call me superman

[willyoustillcallmesuperman]

I miss talking to him sometimes.

I can't really tell anyone that, no one would understand.

I know it was for the best... but I do miss his familiarity with my soul.

[theficpusher]

Home for the Holly Days by LadyLondonderry | nr | 2421 There he is, bowl of batter in one arm and whisk in the other. The wireless is blaring something that distinctly sounds like Fairytale of New York, which would make sense with how much Harry loves muggle music. But. The thing is, is he's doing some terribly odd moves, swaying his hips slightly out of pace with the music but with so much more passion than Louis thinks he's ever seen anybody display about this song. His apron, down to his knees, is swishing back and forth as he moves and - dear lord - his shorts don't even reach as low as the hem of his apron. Louis has to get out of here. Or, Louis’s participating in the Secret Santa exchange between all the Hogwarts professors stuck at school over the winter holidays, and the Sorting Hat may fancy itself a bit of a matchmaker.

if you should try to kiss her by disgruntledkittenface | nr | 3129 It’s kind of their thing now. They make relentless snarky comments to and about each other and exchange meaningful eye contact every time they think no one is looking. At least, that’s what Louis thinks they’re doing, like their own extended lesbian mating ritual. It seems obvious to her that they’re inevitable in some kind of cosmic, grand design type of way; they’re eventually going to end up together and fix up an old house and Nick will build a chicken coop for the backyard (or hire someone to build it, probably) and then they’ll live happily ever after, bickering the whole time. If only she could be sure that’s what Nick thinks they’re doing. Harry's annual Christmas party gives Louis her chance to be brave and tell Nick how she feels.

(looking for) your name in these words by honey_beeing | T | 5330 Rapunzel, I wish you would let down your hair so I could come to meet you. ;) -Secret Santa "Mate, you're blushing," points out Niall as he reads it. (or) Where Secret Santa notes have a way of turning into love letters.

You Are The Only Thing On My Christmas List by KayleeJohn | T | 6008 Niall’s face splits in two in a wide teasing grin and Harry tries to yank his hand away, spitting, “Unbelievable,” but Niall just laughs, throwing his head back before he folds himself on the table top and traps Harry’s hand under his arms. It’s not the worst fate imaginable. Or the one where Niall is the only thing Harry really wants for Christmas.

I Just Want You (For My Own) by BleedMeAMelody | nr | 6147 “I made it so that you’re Harry Styles’ secret santa!” Niall practically shouted, clearly excited by his handiwork. Louis blinked once, twice, three times. “I’m sorry, I must be hearing things because it sounded like you just said that you made me Harry Styles’ secret santa, which I know can’t possibly be true,” Louis said evenly with a shake of his head. “Oh, but it is! I did!” Niall exclaimed happily. Or, Niall is tired of listening to Louis pine over the cute, curly-haired boy who works on the fourth floor, so he rigs the company’s secret santa. Holiday antics ensue.

Will You Still Call Me Superman by el_em_en_oh_pee | T | 6370 When Harry opens his locker, there's a box wrapped in blue tissue paper, wound messily in a skinny white ribbon, just sitting on top of his textbooks. A piece of paper taped to the top of the box readsTo Harry, Happy Christmas! I noticed how you're always chewing on your pencils in class so I thought this might help! -Your Secret Admir Santa xx In which Harry has an overwhelming crush on Liam, the nicest, coolest guy in school, and his friends aren't very supportive of the pain his crush causes him. The jerks.

Potions and Presents and a Partridge in a Pear Tree by b0yfriendsinl0ve | T | 7052 Harry has a bit of a crush, it's Christmas and there's chocolate.

Santa Baby Honey by SadaVeniren | E | 28736 “Let’s cut right to the chase,” Niall said, loading the powerpoint, which was just one page, comprised of Louis’ face and the words How do you solve a problem like this asshole? “It’s the beginning of November and Louis is already being a fuckwit. How are we gonna have him knock that shit off this year?” aka Louis is the CEO of a toy company and Christmas is a stressful time of year so his assistant decides the best way to make him chill out is by getting him laid through a Secret Santa

This Is Not The End by PrettyInSoulPunk | E | 41031 When Niall gets back home, there's a package lying on the ground right inside of his security gate, but he doesn't see it until he nearly trips over it. It's small, so he figures it must have been pushed through the mail slot. Or maybe it was thrown over the wall because it feels soft enough not to be fragile. There's no postage or return address, just a holiday sticker with his name printed on it in handwriting that Niall doesn't recognize.

[taming-bats]

how does the supers, or anyone else, fit in with your crimelords AU for the batfamily? specifically jon? (i’m a sucker for jon and damian as a duo idfk)

(Aswahjbga,???? someone asked a question?? on something i wrote??? thank you anon you have brought me great joy?????)

What I have in mind is that for the most part, the rest of the universe is essentially the same. Superman, Wonder Woman, Flash, etc. are still present and still heroes. I'm basically taking Bruce's canon "Stay out of my city" attitude and cranking it up to an 11. Bruce still thinks that he is the only one who can protect Gotham as he understands it better than anyone. Mask!Bruce just has harder consequences for supers who come into his territory. (nothing fatal! they have to go one save the rest of the world, just leave Gotham to him.)

I think Clark and Bruce actually used to be very close, but had a major falling out/split. Maybe it was about the secret identities, maybe it was Bruce self-sabotaging. Who will ever know?

You are so right and so valid to love Jon and Damian as a duo they are FANTASTIC. Supersons ftw!! I think for this verse, there's the potential of them first meeting when Bruce and Clark are close and becoming the iconic duo they are. When the Waynes cut off the Kents.... well, every Wayne kid needs a bit of rebellion, right? Damian probably sneaks visits to Jon often as their civilian identities. Damian has never had to be a weapon or a Mask with Jon, and it gives him the opportunity to actually act his age, which would be good for him. And I think Jon would make it a fun hobby to practice his lie-detector skills on Damian.

Damian, internally: He is my best friend. He is an escape and he is freedom incarnate. I can never be my full self with him but I am the closest thing to whole when I know he is near.

Damian, externally: Kent you idiot if you suggest the same ice cream place for the 3rd week in a row I will see to it that it burns down within the month.

[sorenlionheart]

i am dangerously close to making my own interpretation of superman

[fungi-maestro]

Fuck you guys. Clark Kent has a Midwest Kansas accent. I want to see that guy just completely fucking up a sentence with a lot of R's and S's in it. Just totally dogshit. Pronounce the E's as I's, got it?

[autisticcassandracain]

is it just me or is batman like. significantly more tolerable outside of gotham comics than in

[randomnameless]

Honestly that anon should direct their concern towards the Ladlestans considering they're the ones who are using the antis*mitic dogwhistles to support their waifu, or better yet, direct it towards the game itself considering Supreme Leader's hatred for dragon family is reminiscent of a conspiracy theory.

Yep,

The game has a lot of "unfortunate implications" - but unlike the Tellius "if we coexist too much one of us will disappear" shit message, those unfortunate implications are supposed to be found out, after playing all routes, to be untrue.

(even if the message "crests BaD" is kept all around...)

But I think there's still a difference between a bunch of fantasy pixels accusing a fantasy sekrit cabal of religious genocide survivors of hoarding all the riches, and real life people kind of disregarding the sheer notion of "genocide" because "victims were oppressors" or had alleged positions of power...

I wish we could say "you're joking right" but, sadly, no. Maybe it's just a troll ?

[6ebe]

rewatching Batman v superman. Will forever be obsessed with snyder’s decision to make a mainstream high budget comic book movie about the THEODICY PROBLEM and then be surprised that nobody liked it 😭😭

[miraculousbohemian]

Nothing like waking up and my mom checking my Gmail (because we can only communicate over Gmail apparently, but good for me that she thinks its still 2004) and going feral over my discord mail when i left that thing 3 years ago and didn't log out properly

[cornerihaunt]

here she is. i feel bad for enchanted being that low. but literally the """"skips"""""" start at ours

[willyoustillcallmesuperman]

You wear Chris Cornell.

I wear Superman.

We're not that different.

[alyakthedorklord]

Batman the Playboy

Justice League, not quite early days but before proper identity reveals, though everyone knows Batman knows theirs, bc he has Opinions™ and Constructive Criticisms™ on their secret-keeping.

The issue is brought up on random occasions. The most notable incident- the Justice League, including Batman, being Drunk for Bonding, and Batman, in a fit of paranoid good intentions because he CARES about these idiots, damnit, why must they be so careless, starts insulting them.

Batman, leaning heavily on the table: “GL, you’re a mess, I don’t even know where to start with you. And Arrow! Your goatee is so distinctive, it’s a wonder no one has called you out on it-“

Green Arrow, also drunk: “Alright, there’s no need to insult my awesome facial hair-”

Batman, in despair: “It’s so ugly.”

Green Arrow: (offended noises)

Green Lantern: “Okay, the only reason you know our secret identities is because you’re a rude nosy bastard who needs to know everything about us like a creepy stalker who needs an ego boost! We’re not stupid, Spooky, we’re just polite. We could figure you out easily if we wanted to. Superman can see right through your mask!”

Usually, Batman would have a good response to that. Something smart and reasonable like “villains won’t care for your privacy, I’m testing you,” or something cutting like “I don’t care enough about you to go digging, I set your secret identity as a training exercise for Robin.”

However, Batman is Drunk, because for some reason imbibing drugs that dampen higher brain function is socially acceptable and often, for some reason, expected, because it’s “team bonding” and “come on just loosen up a bit.” (Also for him, drunk=Brucie)

So what Batman ends up saying is: “I could kiss you full on the lips in my secret identity and you wouldn’t know a thing.”

Superman, plucking the glass from Batman’s hand: “Aaaand that is enough alcohol for you!”

Batman nods. Thank God. He wants to go home and sleep. But first: “Superman, yours is so stupid it’s almost impressive-”

———

Of course, Green Lantern has smelled a challenge. And Green Lantern must annoy Batman. It’s his true superpower. So, the next time they meet (sober) he brings up the issue again.

GL: “So about what you said at the party… the part where you could kiss us full on the lips without us knowing. You still confident in that without liquid courage, Spooky? Bet you your real name you can’t do it.”

Batman, regretting the fact that alcohol has ever passed his lips: “I could do it, but I will not.”

Flash, curious: “Why’s that?”

Batman: “Informed Consent. I will not risk making any of you feel violated, or manipulated, for the sake of a stupid bet and my ego.”

GA, still offended by the goatee comment, trying to back Batman into a corner: “So if we give consent, we’re fair game? Try me, Batman. Even you can’t pull this off. Anyone else game?”

Some of the Justice League laughs, raising their hands.

Flash: “Come get me, hot stuff! I’ll call you out!”

Wonder Woman: “It could be amusing.”

Martian Manhunter: “I would be far too difficult a target.”

Green Arrow: “Not just you. C’mon, Spooky, flirting well enough to get a kiss from me? I’m a classy lady.”

Black Canary: “D-class, maybe.”

Superman, wants a kiss in on the fun: 🙋🏻‍♂️

“So that’s it then!” Green Lantern says smugly. “Batman, if you can kiss… how many people raised their hands? Ah yes- HALF THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, without anyone realizing it’s you, then you win.”

Batman scoffs and walks out, leaving the Justice League in stitches at their joke. Because- Batman? Being good enough at flirting to land a kiss on half the league, without it being forced or awkward, without them recognizing his body language, his voice, his build? How ridiculous!

The Batman is Autistic. The Batman does not understand jokes, especially not ones that are half truths. The Batman has consent, and something to prove.

And Bruce Wayne, billionaire, playboy, and sexy DILF, has targets.

(Please tell me how you think he gets each League member.)

Edit: there have been a bunch of awesome additions in the notes! My own take here.

[r3ynah]

Substitute

Danny as Phantom, bored out of his mind tried his best to keep his eyes open, this JL meeting, the meeting was about a cause of mind control or something, in short this was just boring,

he was here as a substitute for Constantine because that man ditched the last second, and left Phantom for himself.

His so gonna push the man off the ledge when he sees him.

Danny continued to dissociate, until he heard a familiar name, coming out of the dark knight's mouth.

"Ember? the popstar? batman do you really think she's the one doing this mind control thing?" Flash asked, he was also almost falling asleep until the popstar's name was said. "Man, Ember's songs are such a vibe, hope she's not some supervillain"

"It is not confirmed, All we know is that she might only be a meta civilian that really just wants to show the world her songs" Wonder woman reasoned, from the far end of the table.

"Until further notice, we shall gather some crimes she unknowingly did, and have her quarantined for the mean time." Batman stated at the other side of the table.

wait what? Quarantine Ember? His rogue and friend, no that wouldn't do.

"I need to disagree with you there Mr. Batman" Phantom called out gaining all the members attention

"And why is that, Phantom?" Superman asked for Batman, who only stared at the ghost with curiosity.

"Well, you did specifically said that members cannot, mess with other members rogues" Phantom exclaimed "If you mess with Ember you're practically breaking your own rules,"

"The Ember, is your rogue?" Flash said astonished. "Wait that means she's also a ghost like you, But why are you just letting her go around the world parading?"

"Yes she's a ghost like me, i let her parade the world because she's on a vacation I mean this whole world tour speaks for itself, putting her in quarantine will do no good for her or anyone, and the whole mind controlling thing is so last season for Ember, she just sucks the energy out of people who hear her songs so she herself can have energy." Phantom explained, floating down to sit on his designated chair. "Besides I keep track of her, to make sure she doesn't create havoc and overdue her powers, she hasn't mind controlled anyone that's for sure."

Phantom eyed batman who still remained, quiet, he looked like he was thinking of something deeply, whatever it was Danny didn't care as long as Ember and the other ghosts are safe.

"And how would you guarantee that Ember won't harm any human citizens?" Batman questioned.

"Oh that's easy, because I already told them what will happen, if they either try to hurt humans" Danny let out a smile that showed all his sharp fangs, his eyes glowed a toxic green, that made everyone in the room uncomfortable, his hair floated more aggressively and uncontrollably. "I think they got the message."

Everyone felt scared at that moment, just who the hell did Constantine, bring in here?

[lazerswordweilder]

Personally I think the Justice League not knowing Batman had kids would be more bad at social things Batman rather than paranoid Batman and they found out like this:

Justice league, minus Batman: *walks into the meeting room*

Superman: *freezes*

Green Lantern: what’s wrong?

Superman: …Batman. Why do you have three heart beats and why is one of them a cats?

Batman: *throws cape over his shoulders revealing Damian sleeping on his lap and a cat sitting on his lap* this is Robins cat Mr Whiskers

Flash: you have a side kick?!

Batman, confused because he thought they knew: no? I have a team?

Wonder Woman: a team?

Batman: Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, Robin, Batgirl, Signal- I thought you guys knew this *pulls out his wallet and pulls 50+ family photos out of that* how did you not? Have none of you pick pocketed me? *the Robins always steal his stuff and he assumes that both his teams do the same things*

Superman: I’m sorry, what?

Batman: how did you not know?

Green Arrow: well you don’t exactly talk about your life

Batman: yeah but you should’ve figured it out, I give figuring out your guys secret identities out as things to do when the Robins are bored. Who did you think looked after Gotham when I couldn’t?

Flash: I thought your power was being two places at once?

Batman: ??? I don’t have powers?

Everyone: WHAT

Batman: I never have?

Superman: how are you such a good fighter then?

Batman: I trained for two decades?

Flash: what.

Green Arrow: wait, why did you call them ‘the Robins’ I thought there were only two Robins?

Batman: well they were all Robin at some point, most of them anyways. Dick was the first Robin, then he became Nightwing. A while after that I found Jason and he became the second Robin, he died and then got resurrected and became a crime boss for a while and changed his name to Red Hood. And while Jason was dead Tim showed up and became Robin, Tim became Red Robin. And Damian is the current Robin.

J’onn: why do you call them by their real names, I know you know everyone’s secret identities but isn’t that rude?

Batman: what do you mean? They’re my kids? I’ve adopted all of them?

Everyone: WHAT

Superman: Wait, circle back. One of your kids got resurrected and is a crime boss

Batman: he isn’t bad, he just isn’t offically part of the team anymore but we still work togther all the time-

Flash: offically? What is there a list on the Gotham police website.

Batman: yes, it can be wrong sometimes though, they thought Batgirl was my sidekick way before I actually started training her. It took me a while to realise I couldn’t convince her to stop crime fighhting.

Green Lantern: you don’t make them when you adopt them?

Btman: NO! She was like 12! I don’t make kids fight! She wouldn’t stop and it would be mroe dangerous to leave her without proper gear or any way to call for help, and I didn’t want Nightwing to fight when I adopted him he chose to himself and when I said no he went out after Zacoo anyways, and I found Jason stealing my tires so he already knew I was Batman-

[just-your-average-supervillain]

DP x DC: The Rivalry

It's a little-known fact among the Watchtower residents that there is a fierce rivalry going on amongst its members. On one side, the Flash, a core member of the Justice League. On the other, Daniel "Danny" Fenton, Head of Engineering for the Watchtower.

Nobody knows when the rivalry started. Some rumors say that it began when, after hearing the Flash rant about how stupid it is to believe in ghosts, Danny took the effort to reroute all of his outgoing calls to the advice line of the JLD. Others say that after Danny doubled the max speed of one of the jets, Flash took it upon himself to have a joyride in it and then submit a complaint about it being too slow... twelve separate times, each one no more than 24 hours after Danny had finished the last speed improvements.

Ever since, the two have been taking potshots at each other with pranks large and small. Danny arranged a standard maintenance check to change room authorizations... resulting in the Flash being unable to access the kitchens for a week. In return, the Flash spent an entire week replacing every single cup of coffee Danny had with the cheapest, most watered-down decaf he could find - and he swapped out the mugs for Flash-branded ones as well. Danny's modification of the Flash's suit to change colors to randomized sets of the most eye-searingly-bright, clashing colors possible for exactly one second after being exposed to the Speed Force were met with "Kick Me!" signs taped to Danny's back.

But... surely this has gone too far, right? Flash... really can't think of what he can do to top this.

He stares as every single Watchtower engineer zips between tasks using the Speed Force as if it's nothing. It's not a permanent change, thank god, he can see the packs on them that apparently give them the Speed Force, but it's still ridiculous.

You know what, no. He's just... not gonna engage with that. He turns around and leaves the engineering department.

It becomes a lot harder to avoid engagement when, over the course of the day, he has to witness each and every member of the Justice League speed around with a Speed Force pack of their own. Shouldn't Batman and Wonder Woman be above this sort of thing? Why does Superman need to be faster?!

[autisticcassandracain]

Reading Blue Beetle: Graduation Day and I have to ask. Since when does Jaime listen to the Justice League.