#with respect to each other

[cornus27florida]

General Thoughts on Ship Wars (discord)

Before, I wanna to tell that : I am a very passionate shipper but I don't wish for any hurt to anyone especially to the ones that shipping characters that not my taste or my NOTP. I will simply avoiding those NOTP ships in any way of fanworks, because if I am stumbled upon those NOTP fanworks - I am afraid that I might unleash beast inside me that could hurt even by words - or for myself getting hurt to see character that I feel a nice, romantic couple to be with other character else. I've learned that fanworks world (fanfic: ff, ao3, etc)(fanart: twitter, devianart,etc)(shipping analysis: tumblr, reddit) should be a safe world for anyone to be happy - shipping characters of the series they'll like while letting others in part of the fandom to know the reasons to liking a ship. In short, I am respecting anyone to ships any characters to other BUT please don't push that ship especially by bashing other character by learning how the characters doing and how the relationships progress in the story.

Well, in the fanworks you could do anything you want like making character c looking bad especially highlighting the things they're did in certain aspect of the story, which to make character a and character b (or more if this a polyamory relationship) to be together. But honestly, could that cliché be avoided? For creative thinking that filled with honesty - kindness - and the forgiveness, so even the character c won't be together with either of character a or b - everyone involved are happy. Being happy doesn't always means for union of characters. being listened-understood-respected it's also part of happy spectrum too even if by making that happen means to letting go someone they love. That's not only limits to characters let go the one they'll love (because the love status is uncertain as it's platonically? becomes familiar love? etc) BUT also when the characters they're love are gone - be it for moving on to another part or phase of life, or for going to the afterlife. Because love could turns ugly like obsession if the 'letting go' part not been used healhtly. Cue to inserting this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9H1-33qQ554

So, people in discord said a really good paragraph exclaim :

It's (refers to the ship wars) definitely not limited to coai (conan/ai), it happened in almost every fandom. But I think it basically boil down to a perfect storm of popular characters with a semi-canon ship status. Shinran (shinichi/ran) fans doesn't need to argue their ship into canon bcs they're already canon. Slash pairing (e.g. kaito/shinichi, heiji/shinichi) also doesn't tend to argue their ship bcs they know it won't happen. Meanwhile coai is very much a possibility (even if it is one-sided) so the fans gets loud in their support in hopes that Gosho (or other party related like Mai kuraki the singer for most of Detective Conan songs) will change the status-quo if coai (a pairing that have lots of ship teases - or the characters are so interesting together with their personalization) becomes more "popular".

I hate it when readers try to force their ideas on the author/creator - let them do their ideas and experiment and see if it works or not (which should be on fanworks world). Although in Gosho's case, I don't think there is reason to fear that but many webtoon creators are young and new to this all and inexperienced so they may bow to the immense pressure of the fans. -> there's many examples in the webtoons already as many unsatisfied readers have the webtoon ending with the ship that 'majority' didn't want like My Deepest Secret, Nice To Meet You!, Edith et cetera

Those webtoons also the example of the ones that didn't have any author note episode at the ending, in fear possibly if explaining why the character a not means to be with c, or technically there's no pairing become canon

Gosho is experienced indeed, BUT in the manga world making - editor is holding the key as basically try to make popular series going as long as possible ~ and if doing so fuelling ship wars by adding teases scenes especially towards triangle love, so be it. It sucks for both the author and readers actually, but it happens anyway. For the creator or author to can't write what they're actually want. For the reader of the intended pairing shipper as they are seeing the characters they're ships getting 'flirty' with other character that likely their NOTP. Or for the reader of the unintended ship as they're been fed by false hopes that their ships are means to be 'as canon'. I am also talking about constant ship wars at Oshi no Ko with Kana vs Akane btw, I love Kana more so I am mad if she's getting mocked espc by the Akane/Aqua shipper - but I also know that Akane - Aqua relationship is special in their own way even thou not that healthly.

I stopped reading Marionetta because the ship war too (the Sahed fans attacked the Tonny fans really hard) -> this the result of ship wars, this make fans to decides to stop enjoying the series for entirety which is very sad.. It's technically not the author's fault but as the fandom becomes toxic. Of how toxic and poisonous a fandom could be it's another nother to talk about and I won't talk it here.

The (ship, be it intended as well unintended) teasings happen in a lot of things: media, series, books, manga…to fuel the readers to become interested longer (thought only for the ship). It is a common thing nowadays and I don't like it at all.

-> A good story should telling what their own story properly, and shippings should be the spices not the main ingredients. So, a story should be a story based not ships based.

I disliking the ship wars as the pain, hurt, tiringness which could resulting to the fandom become toxic in intense war as pointing out why 'their ship is superior, and other ship is doomed'. This totally unhealthly, both for other part of the fandom espc your NOTP shippers AND YOURSELF as being constantly on edge to proving your ship. Why not taking steps back, letting out a long breath - and enjoys the ship that you like without hurting others happily? You, as the reader (or if the medium of series isn't visual, then watcher or anything else), is always part of the fandom that making up popularity of a certain series. If you are gone as getting tired or getting swept up by the toxicity of ship wars, didn't it hurt to the creator of your favorite series - or your friends at the fandom that you used to be like before ~ as realizing too late that you're gone?

P.S if curious:

As a shipper on multifandom, here characters that I ship on different series - which are heterosexual pairings, and well personally no hate towards LGBTQ+ just if them making NOTP I am simply disliking and avoiding the following pairings. No amount of others' arguments telling me about 'reasons your ship sucks' will ever change my opinions regarding my OTP, and I hope it's understable without seen as too hard headed - I won't bashing any characters that become part of my NOTP. I always respect anyone opinion, but I also hope that respect is a dual-interaction too so it'll become "I respect you, and please respect me too".

OTP stands for 'one true pairing' while NOTP stands for 'not one true pairing' which usually if the character a and character b that making up a pair (or more if polyamory) is paired up with other character else. So I am only limiting a pairing on each work series, but doesn't mean I didn't have more characters that I like to ship. The list of my OTP are the following with consist on various media indeed :

Jodie Starling (Saintemillion) and Shuuichi Akai | Okiya Subaru [Detective Conan | Case Closed]

Princess Gwendolyn of the Pastel Kingdom, and Prince Frederick of the Plaid Kingdom [Cursed Princess Club - webtoon]

Kaneki Ken | Haise Sasaki and Touka Kirishima [Tokyo Ghoul]

Severus Snape and Lily nee Evans [Harry Potter series]

Jellal Fernandez | Siegrain Hart and Erza Scarlet [Fairy Tail]

Nagisa Shiota and Kayano Kaede [Assasination Classroom]

Gojo Wakana and Marin Kitagawa [My Dress Up Darling!!!]

Kana Arima and Aqua(marine) Hoshino [Oshi no Ko]

Remi and Blyke [UnOrdinary - webtoon]

Adashino Benio and Rokuro Enmadou [Twin Star Exorcist]

Kinomoto Sakura (or Princess Sakura) and Syaoran (Li) [Cardcaptor Sakura : Clear Card Arc + Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle]

Suchan Jang and Huijin Park [Jungle Juice - Webtoon]

Chrome and Ruri [Dr. Stone]

Mai and Prince Zuko [Avatar the Last Airbender]

Sena Kobayakawa and Suzuna Taki [Eyeshield 21]

Naruto Uzumaki and Hinata Hyuuga [NARUTO]

Saguru Hakuba and Akako Koizumi [Magic Kaito]

[fru1typunch]

I was told to share my TikTok on respecting each other's Good Omens headcanons here on Tumblr so HERE;

now can we all just shut up and hold hands or something (since aziracrow can't anymore)

[kiss-my-asymptote]

I’m fucking dying Astarion’s early party banter is him just flirting with all the companions and striking out; none of them are having it. When he comes on to Tav at the party, not only is he manipulating them, but they are literally his last choice. Not even plan b or c, Tav was plan ‘fuck it, I guess we’re doing this!’ and that clown still fell into his own pit trap.

[crimeronan]

i've seen a couple people in the notes of this very good post about fictional polyamory by @thebibliosphere say things along the lines of "oh, i've been doing it wrong :(" or "how do i know if i did this right??" or "i should probably give up and start over, i wrote this badly :(" and. no!!!!

(i AM seeing far MORE people say "oh, this clarified and helped me so much, i think i know how to fix issues i've been having with my own story" which. YES!!!!)

listen. if you're a monogamous person who's writing a polyamorous relationship, and you've been focusing mainly on The Triad and All Three Together All The Time as the endgame, that's literally fine. that's a perfectly acceptable and strong starting point for your plotting, imo. you do not need to give up on a story that you've started like this.

but the things discussed in the post Can and Should improve your execution!

you can keep the same plot beats and overall relationship arc 100%. polyamorous relationships are infinite in their formations, every one is unique. "basically a monogamous romance but with three people" Does exist, as a relationship type. you're not hashtag Misrepresenting (TM) poly people with it

BUT i do think it will help to read up on some poly people talking about how their relationships Differ from monogamous ones.

so i have outlined some basic important concepts about polyamory.

MORE IMPORTANTLY though, i've broken down some questions that you can answer throughout the writing process to strengthen your individual dyad relationships, your individual characterization, & your characters' individual feelings/experiences. this is a writing resource have fun

future kitkat butting in to say i spent over two hours writing this and it definitely needs a readmore. it is also NOT comprehensive. but everything should be pretty simple to follow! feel free to reblog if you find it helpful yourself or just want to reward me for how gotdan long this took KSLDKFJKDL.

i've grabbed quick links for a couple of the important concepts, some have SEO pitches in them but the info largely seems to be good. (if i missed anything Egregiously Gross on these sites i should be able to update the links with better ones later, since they're under the readmore.)

sidenote: this is NOT meant to be overwhelming, despite the length. if you can't read all of this, that's Okay. you do not need to give up on your writing.

here we go:

compersion!

compersion is a BIG thing in a lot of polyamorous relationships. it's joy derived from seeing two (or more) of your partners happy together, or joy derived from seeing your partner happy with someone else.

compersion is really important as a concept because it highlights that every individual relationship within a polycule is different -- and that that's a GOOD thing. it's sort of the inverse of jealousy.

by the "inverse of jealousy," i mean that instead of feeling left out and upset and possessive, you feel happy/joyous/content.

i can use personal experience as an example: it's a Relief for me when my partners receive joy/support/sex/romance/etc that i can't (or prefer not to) give them. and i love seeing my partners make each other laugh and be silly together.

it's 100% okay for a poly triad not to be together 100% of the time, it doesn't mean that the third member is being left out or not treated equally when two people do things alone together.

(i have individual dates with my partners all the time! PLUS larger 3-and-4-person date nights.)

if the third member DOES feel jealous or left out, then the polycule can have a conversation to figure out what needs/wants aren't being met, and solve that. this happens semi-regularly in my polycule, as it will happen in any relationship (including monogamous ones)! it's just part of being an adult, sometimes you have to talk about feelings.

metamours!

a metamour is someone who is dating your partner, but ISN'T dating you. this may not be relevant for people writing closed three-person romantic sexual triads, but it's a super helpful term to know.

the linked article also lists different types of metamour relationships with some fun phrasing i hadn't heard before. the tl;dr is: sometimes you'll be domestic cohabitation friends, sometimes you'll be buddies with your own friendship, sometimes you might not interact much outside of parties, every relationship is different.

there's no one-size-fits-all requirement for metamour relationships. sometimes polyamorous people will end up dating their metamour after a while (has happened to me), sometimes polyamorous people will break up with one partner for normal life reasons, but remain friendly metamours.

the goal of polyamory is NOT for EVERYONE to fall in love. it is 100% okay if this happens in your story, it happens in real life too! but it is also 100% okay for characters to be metamours without ever becoming "more than friends."

(sidenote: try to kill any internalized "more than" that you have when it comes to friendship. friends are just as important and special and vital as partners.)

of course there are a million ways for messiness to occur with metamours within a complex polycule, exactly like with close-knit platonic friend groups. however this post is not about that! there's enough "here's how polyamory can go wrong" stuff out there already, so i'm focusing on the positives here :)

open versus closed polyamorous relationships!

i'm struggling to find an online article that reflects my experience without directly contradicting at least SOME stuff. so i'll give a quick rundown

google has a bunch of conflicting definitions of open relationships and whether open relationships are different from polyamory. the general consensus seems to be that an open relationship prioritizes one partnership (often a marriage), but that each partner can have extraneous flings or long-term commitments (most often sexual in nature).

this is not typically how i use the term wrt polyamory. the poly concept is pretty simple. a closed polyamorous relationship is one with boundaries like a monogamous one. there are multiple partners in the polycule, but they are not interested in having anybody new join said polycule.

an open polyamorous relationship tends to be more flexible -- it just means that IF someone in the polycule develops mutual feelings for a new person, it's fine for them to become part of said polycule if they want to! the relationship/person is open to newcomers.

some groups will need to negotiate this all together, others will just go "haha, you kids have fun." just depends on the individuals!

with open AND closed polyamorous relationships, the most important thing is making sure that there's respectful communication and that everyone is on the same page. but there's no one-size-fits-all way to do that.

i wish i could give you guys a prescriptive "You Must Do It This Way" guide, but that's.... basically the opposite of what polyamory is about, HAHA.

feelings for multiple people!

i was gonna tack this on to the previous section but decided it warranted its own lil bit.

a defining feature (....i'm told?) of monogamous relationships is that a monogamous person only has feelings for One individual at a time. they only want a relationship with one individual at a time. or, if they DO have feelings for multiple people simultaneously, they're still only comfortable dating one person at a time & being exclusive with that one person.

this is perfectly fine!

the poly experience is generally different from this. but once again..... polyamorous people all have different individual perspectives on this.

for me, i have never been able to draw hard boxes around romantic vs sexual vs platonic relationships, & i love many people at once. my personal polycule lacks many strict definitions beyond "these are my chosen people, i want to forge a life with them indefinitely, whatever shape that life takes"

some poly people feel explicit romantic or sexual attraction to multiple people at once, some poly people feel almost no romantic or sexual attraction at all. i'd say that MOST poly people feel different things for different partners, which is not a bad thing!

some poly people are even monogamous-leaning -- they have just chosen one romantic partner who is themselves part of a larger polycule. (so this monogamous-leaning person has at least one metamour!)

or alternatively, they might have one romantic partner AND a qpr, or other ways of defining relationships. (this is a factor in my own polycule!)

i made this its own point because if you're writing a straightforward triad, this is unlikely to come up in the story itself -- but it's worth thinking about how your characters develop/handle feelings outside of their partnerships.

like, is this sort of a soulmateship, 'these are the only ones for me' type deal? in which they won't fall in love with anyone else, and can be fairly certain of that?

that's pretty close to typical monogamous standards but you Can make it work. just be thoughtful with it

alternatively, can you see any of these characters falling in love Again after the happily-ever-after? and how would the triad approach it, if so? what would they all need to talk about beforehand, and what feelings would everybody have about the situation?

it's worth considering these questions even if the hypothetical will never feature in your actual canon, because knowing the answers to these questions will help you understand all of the individuals & their relationship(s) MUCH better.

i've been typing this for nearly two hours and there's a lot more i COULD say because... there's just a lot to say. i'll close out with some quick questions that you can ask yourself when developing the dyad dynamics within your triad

first, take a page and create a separate section for each individual dyad. then answer these questions for every pair:

how does each pair act when alone?

how do they act differently alone compared to when they're with their third partner?

are there any elements of this dyad (romantic, sexual, financial, domestic, etc) that these two people DON'T have with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

are there any boundaries or hard limits within this dyad that aren't shared with the third partner?

if so, what are they?

partner 3 goes out of town alone for a few weeks. what are the remaining two doing in their absence?

(doesn't have to be anything special, it's just to get a sense of how the two interact on a day-by-day basis without the third there)

what is something that each partner in the dyad admires about the other -- that they DON'T necessarily see in the third partner?

what problem do These Two Specifically need to solve in the story before their relationship will work?

how is that problem DIFFERENT from the problems being solved within the other two dyads?

doing this for ALL THREE dyads is VITAL imo. that way, you develop complex and nuanced and different relationships that all have unique dynamics.

those questions should be enough to get you started, i hope

then After you've charted the differences in relationships, you can start to jot down similarities in the overarching triad. what does one person admire in Both of their partners? what are activities that all three like to do together? what are boundaries or discussions that all three share?

but the main goal is to figure out how to Differentiate each relationship!

a polycule is only as strong as the individual relationships within it. if two people are struggling with their own relationship, adding a third person won't fix that.

(UNLESS the third person is the catalyst for those two to, like, Actually Communicate And Work Their Shit Out. i just mean that the old adage of "maybe if we just add a third-" works about as well to fix a miserable non-communicative marriage as, uh, "maybe if we have a baby-")

AND FINALLY.

if you're not sure whether your poly romance reads organically to poly people, you can hire a sensitivity reader with poly experience. if you can't afford that, you can read up on polyamorous resources like a glossary of terms & articles actually written by poly people. (and stories written by poly people!)

you can also just.... ask poly people questions, if they're open to it. i like talking about polyamory and my own relationships so you're welcome to send asks if u want, i just can't guarantee i'll answer bc my energy levels fluctuate a lot and i don't always have time.

polyamorous people are in an uphill battle for positive representation right now & so the LAST thing i want to see is authors giving up on their stories bc they're worried about getting things Wrong. well-meaning and positive stories that treat this kind of love as normal, healthy, & aspirational are So So So Needed. even if you guys end up with some funky-feeling details.

seriously, if you're monogamous then you probably don't have a full idea of Just How Nasty a lot of people can get about polyamory. i wish it DIDN'T mean so much for you guys to want to write nice stories about us, but it does mean a lot. and it means a lot that you want to do it WELL.

in conclusion. this is not a prescriptive guide, it's just a way to raise questions. and also, you all are doing FINE.

[kazisonline]

As an aromantic nonbinary person who enjoys sex very much, if you say that when I want a platonic relationship with sex and no romance that's alright, then when a man does that it's alright too. That's equality, that's feminism, and that's common fucking sense

[greghatecrimes]

being one of house’s fellows would be so fun. he’d tell me to do something while calling me lesbian or dyke or some clever slur-adjacent pun related to being nonbinary and i’d answer with “okay, fag :)” because i know what he is. and neither one of us would report the other to HR

[mobius-m-mobius]

LOKI APPRECIATION WEEK 2023 | for @dailyloki Day 1 : Favorite Loki scene(s) : Loki + looking at Mobius (/Mobius version)

[stuck-in-jelly]

I don’t know if im really looking into it too much but something I keep going back to is Marcille telling her party about her idea to use dark magic to revive Falin

Its easy to see she is devoted to Falin and really is willing to do anything to bring her back, we can see it as Chilchuck and Senshi scold her she is resolved and uncaring towards their opinions on ancient magic. Its even more clear in the manga how quickly she brushes them off

But even though she seems to have already made up her mind about doing this regardless of what others think of her she still turns to Laios and essentially ask for his consent to revive his sister.

And of course without a second of hesitation Laios says yes

But its the fact that she still asked him that gets me

Despite her feelings and what she wants and is more than willing to do she still doesn’t make a move to begin until she hears Laios’s answer.

She looks worried for a moment that he’ll say no but they both love Falin endlessly and despite their differences they respect and care about each other as well there was a reason only Laios knew Marcille’s real speciality because Marcille knew Laios wouldn’t judge

There was no reality in which Laios says no but she still waits

It feels sweet despite the dark topic they really are friends

[mynabirb]

melting wings were worth it to meet you

[chronicowboy]

can't wait for eddie to come clean to buck about everything in the diaz kitchen in the dead of night and it's a tough conversation, a little ugly, and the lights are low and eddie can barely look at buck and buck can't look away because how did he miss this. he's always so wrapped up in a relationship when eddie needs him the most and he always ends up missing eddie's declines until he's already at rock bottom. but this isn't about him. this is about eddie. and eddie's tearing up and he's chasing his dead wife who he can't ever get back and he's drowning in guilt and he doesn't know what to do and buck doesn't know what to do either. but he remembers the knot in his stomach and the way it didn't untangle itself until eddie hugged him. so he moves round the island and wraps eddie in his arms and eddie breaks and buck holds him through it all.

[frozenjokes]

I just think he deserves a glitter bazooka

YOU UNDERSTAND.

Scar, standing directly in front of the glitter bazooka: cub I can not allow you to use the glitter bazooka. I am looking you in the eyes. You are a danger to yourself and others. I am telling you that you can not use the glitter bazooka. Hand over the glitter bazooka.

Cub, with the glitter bazooka:

[mlady-magnolia]

Fontaine and its singular graveyard ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Part 2 of the Fontaine Graveyard Shenanigans

[egophiliac]

@enderfore replied to your post “What do you think of Rook's savanaclaw card? <333”:

Chenya pic where???? I can barely see anything in that room there so much going on, rooks such a lil freak (affectionatr)

​he's under the row of flags on Neige's side of the room, next to the big Neige poster with the yellow background (look just to the right of the hand holding the apple)! he's REAL little; once you know he's there you can kind of see him in-game, but I only noticed him in the first place because I took a screenshot and was having fun zooming in on all the details!

I think that's either Hop or Snick and Dominic on either side of Neige, but if the others are meant to be anyone in particular I don't recognize 'em. though I do love all the absolutely terrifying implications of Rook having this. was this some kind of officially-published merchandise (and if so, why) or did Rook like...go hunting through the RSA trash to find this random student lineup just because it included Neige, and has had it hanging proudly on the wall ever since. (I mean, he definitely did do this, I don't know why I'm asking. the real question is why he hasn't cut out little pictures of his own face and stuck them over everyone else's yet.)

there is seriously SO MUCH in this room. how did Rook manage to keep this hidden for three years. also, somebody give this background artist a raise immediately.

[fuckmeyer]

the choice between Edward & Jacob is not a question of which relationship is healthier or which partner is best suitable for Bella. neither is correct. neither is best. neither produces a happy ending for Bella. at the end of the day this is still a vampire novel. any choice Bella could make would yield, at best, a bittersweet happily ever after.

if she chooses Edward, she gets the terrifying Breaking Dawn ending: a girl who rejected her call to grow up has hung her love & her eternity on an emotionally stunted partner who hates himself marginally less than he loves her. she's a teen mom with a kid she never wanted who perpetuates the generational trauma passed down from her parents. by keeping this child, the Cullens have set the stage for an uprising/cold war against the Volturi who are likely to take revenge in order to maintain power. Bella is living in a tenuous "dream come true" wrapped in a nightmare & doesn't realize it.

choosing Jacob is the true coming-of-age ending that rips the stitches out of a wound that never fully healed. even if we ignore the fact that she ends up with a man who sexually assaulted her (we must bear in mind Jacob's character is influenced by smeyer's racism, but it did happen), they can't have a secure romantic relationship. based on the high imprinting rate of the pack, Jacob will likely find his imprint in his lifetime & will lose himself to the imprintee. he will no longer be her Jacob. he will inevitably abandon her (whether he wants to or not), & she must reconcile with the reality that she will always be inadequate to Jacob's imprint. & say he never manages to escape the vampires? he will presumably not age for a long time, meaning the relationship Bella always feared with Edward (her being an old grandmother while he stays forever young) remains a possibility. this is the story of a girl who slaps a Band Aid on an open wound & calls herself healed while flinching every time she sees the shadow of the knife that cut her.

if she chooses neither (team therapy), her healing requires her to lose or be at least partially disconnected from everyone she cares about. Bella must spend the rest of her life shut out from one world while never fully existing in her human world ever again. she must always keep secrets. she can never go back home. even in the unlikely event that she manages to escape the Volturi, the threat of being hunted by vampires will never leave her. in addition, she must face her worst fears (aging, losing Edward) while always keeping in mind the immortal life that could have been hers, if only.

even the "healthiest" option produces scars that will never quite heal.

Twilight is a horror. Twilight is a vampire novel. Twilight is gothic. Twilight is fiction. neither Edward nor Jacob is a "bad" choice because neither will give Bella her happily ever after. the choice between Edward & Jacob is simply a matter of which horror story you prefer to read.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

When people talk about Dabi and Tomura it's so funny because Dabi as a kid didn't follow orders from his role model (Endeavor) and he refused to follow orders from AFO most of the time, but he would stick to Tomura's silly plans and he'd wait for his permission and he'd go back when called.

Dabi would tell Tomura "I don't follow orders from you" and he would still stand right there waiting for an answer.

Dabi would tell AFO or Enji "I don't follow orders from you" and he would be already moving away without caring about their response.

I'm not saying they are best friends, but c'mon. The authority figure that Dabi respected the most was Tomura. Isn't that something?

[boojangs]

How she looks at her when she isn't looking:

How she looks at her:

How she looks at her when she isn't looking:

How she looks at her:

Building Trust:

Coming Home: