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I want a fic where Bruce is only 17 when the Flying Graysons die. Dick is 8 and Bruce is 17 and he desperately wants to take in this child who’s going through hell just like he was, but he can’t because he’s a minor and the state won’t let him.

And Alfred, seeing all this happen, does the responsible thing: he adopts Dick himself.

But for whatever reason, the media all just runs with Bruce being Dick’s guardian. Really, they’re more like brothers.

So years later, when the Batfam has expanded, all the batkids are sitting around one day complaining abt Bruce and someone jokes abt “their dad being an asshole” and “ugh we hate him” Dick just laughs.

“Not me. I love my dad. Sucks for you guys tho B is an ass with the emotional range of a teaspoon.”

And they are all so confused. Bc Dick what the ever loving fuck are you talking about.

And Dick just stares at them all like they’re total moron.

“Bruce is NOT my dad. He was my weird roommate. The emo older brother. ALFRED is my dad I love him he’s the best. U guys all got the shit end of the stick tho that really sucks for you, my condolences.”

Their minds are all fucking blown. Not a single one of them knew Alfred was the one who adopted Dick. They all assumed Bruce did.

Meanwhile, Alfred is just ridiculously proud of Dick. He turned out so normal in comparison to Bruce.

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something about there being this unspoken understanding in the batfam that Jason really is just one unkind word away from falling apart completely at any given time.

It is not immediately obvious when Jason comes storming into the batcave in a bad mood, or when he takes a shot at one of them that it's a test.

An unfair test, but some weird, oddly understandable one if you step back and consider the myriad of traumas Jason has that have never had the chance to be properly dealt with thanks to the natural isolation of his life. T

here's this moment of epiphany among them when Damian makes some offhanded comment after Jason has left in a rage, where he's like "He's almost as socially inept as I was when I first came from the league."

and Oh.

Because yeah. Jason's hyper competent in combat, and strategy, and he can be clear and easy to talk to when it's about a mission or patrol, but when it's just them-- casual? No gear? No masks and vigilante roles to hide behind, it's like Jason is stumbling through every interaction. If he's not being immediately bitchy, he's awkward and quiet, and looks so out of place. They know Jason is compassionate, and can be soft, because he is with victims and children-- but he can't seem to let himself have any true permanence as Jason Todd.

While it's not an excuse for Jason to be a bitch to test them... the epiphany is: Jason hasn't been in community or relationship with people in years. Maybe ever, if you really think about it. He's doing that thing that the more brash street kids do. The ones who poke and prod at wounds because they're trying to gauge safety.

Because the batfam is Jason's last grasp at having a permanent place where Jason Todd can exist... but it can only happen if he's wanted. The rest of the world thinks he's dead. He can't really be understood by the average civilian.

How else does he prove he's wanted than to give them all the things that would make it easy to leave?

the batfam sees the truth of it though. it’s in the way Jason snaps at them, but flinches at his own tone because it’s so obvious he didn’t mean for it to come out that way. It's not something they noticed before Damian said what he said. And in the past, Tim or Damian would bite back with a psychologically dismantling remark. Because they're all witty, and some of Jason's complexes are just glaring red targets, and well- He's usually the one that provokes! Right? So it's fine? But this time--

Jason says something he shouldn't, and he stares at them wide-eyed and clearly terrified for the response and they all just shrug and move on with things, Tim even huffs out a laugh, and says, "Yeah, okay Jason." And Jason visibly calms down. His whole body seems to untense, and then he very quietly mumbles, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." And it's like you can hear a pin drop.

Then Bruce nods in acknowledgement, and his tone is even when he says, "We know, Chum."

Because not once in his life has he been met with actual neutrality. Not indifference, not rage-- just neutrality that says, "You're not gonna provoke us, or scare us off."

and that makes it easier to breathe amongst them. It makes it easier to trust that they might like the little good he has to offer, if they're not scared of all the ugly.

ugh idk, just something that makes them realize that Jason is in a constant state of emotional panic, and while he's not stupid at all, he's got extremely underdeveloped interpersonal skills, especially familial ones.

as time goes on, there comes a point where Jason says something barbed, it's just him and Dick, and Dick is like, "You know, Damian used to do the same thing when he first came here. He said all the worst things he could think of, and he tried to kill Tim, and he complained about Alfred's cooking, and was always waiting for the other shoe to drop."

and Jason's fucking disarmed because HELLO? And so he's like, "What the fuck does that have to do with anything--"

"He's still here, Jason. And I have every intention of making sure you stay, too. But damn, can we check the attitude at the door, sometimes?"

bc accountability is also >>>

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Okay, so question.

I've seen a bunch of fun 'what if's about Jason's return where Damian is already with the family. And they're fun! funny! I like most of them!

But I feel like I'm going insane.

Because I know for a fact that the Under the Hood (Jason's return) arc preceded the Batman & Son (Damian's introduction) arc. (And OYL was in between, so that's over a year of in-universe time between them.)

So the question is: Do subsequent continuities change that order of events? Or do people not know the sequence? Or is it just a 'if we change a few things wouldn't it be funny if' that's gotten used so often that the 'if we changed a few things' is just kinda assumed?

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I must not mock Gen Alpha. Mocking Gen Alpha is the mind killer. Mocking Gen Alpha is the little-death that brings total generational solidarity obliteration. I will engage with Gen Alpha lovingly. I will permit them to be cringe. And when they grow up I will turn my eye to their accomplishments. Where mocking has gone there will be nothing. Only generational solidarity remains

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"I am your host Tenna, and I'VE BEEN HERE THE WHOLE TIME!"

they say ch 3 is gonna be a real

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sometimes (though I am not religious) I say Jesus Christ (as many do) if I get shocked or surprised or angry, like a curse word. Other times I say fuck. I do not say fuck in front of my parents. Instead I say fudge. Because why not. Then, when I am not with my parents, sometimes I say “Jesus fuck”.

anyway. This is how I ended up tripping on the stairs and saying, in front of my mom, “Jesus fudge.” I think she’s still confused an hour later

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...and then he reads about Percy falling into hell

If Jason was a 2000s kid during his time of Robin, he would’ve read Percy Jackson, and I feel like he would’ve died before finishing the books because the last one of Percy Jackson and the Olympian’s hadn’t come out yet, not even the third one. And when he came back he found out Percy had a white streak of hair when he came back he found out he looked a bit like Percy because of that same strand of hair that’s white

Oh my fucking god I think I just teared up what the actual fuck did I do to you to deserve this??? What was it??????? What groveling must I do to apologize for my sins???????????

I love Percy Jackson. I can very easily imagine Jason in my place, identifying with the characters and growing up alongside them. It means so much to me now, hoenstly, I might never be able to forget this headcanon

I can just imagine him walking into the store—he planned to grab something simple for dinner, cheap and quick—but the book section drew him in. He walked through half-isle the tiny, run-down Gotham store had. He didn’t recognize most of the titles one more thing he had missed, one more thing he might never regain until he saw Percy Jackson. It was a kids book, he knew. He was an adult now. But was he really? He picked it up, told himself it didn’t matter, that reading it wouldn’t change anything and a connection to the boy he’d once been wouldn’t be as damaging as ghe League had said.

that night, he read it. He didn’t put it down once he wasn’t sure he breathed because that was him. That was him, walking through those pages, carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, him with the gray hair and battle-weary fists and nightmares he woke up sobbing from.

he’d left Percy behind with Robin, and yet Percy followed him. And now they were both scarred, together, and Jason felt a little less alone

like maybe—just maybe—he could be a little more like Percy. Maybe he could someday have a family to lean on again. Someone to help hold up the world.

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Nightwing remembered Catwoman flirting with him when he was a young Nightwing, unaware of who he might be, only that he had worked with Batman in the past.

Catwoman whispered in Nightwing's ear, making him freeze at the dirty words the cat burglar wanted to do with him.

Nightwing: My vow of celibacy is staying tact!

Nightwing stepped a few feet back, kicking up his leg and shooing the oblivious woman away.

Nightwing: I am asking you once more to go away cuz I don't want you ma'am.

Catwoman (hands on hips): Prude.

Catwoman walked away, humming happily. Nightwing lowered his leg and hugged himself.

Nightwing (talking to himself): She used to give me graham crackers when I was little. Why did I grow up to be so handsome? I have to tell B about this... When I feel like talking to him again.

Nightwing walked the other way, agreeing that while he and Bruce were on shaky ground in terms of their relationship, he was not that vengeful.

--- A few years later ---

Bruce and Selina entered the manor, deciding to give their relationship another shot since Selina was changing her ways a little and going for a more anti-hero path.

Entering the kitchen, where Bruce's kids and Barbara were, Dick saw Selina and spat out his drink, hitting Tim in the face.

Tim (sarcastic as juice dripped from his chin): Thank you for that.

Bruce: You all know Selina. Selina, this is Barbara, Tim and- Dick, why did you duck down?

Dick (crouching behind the counter): Oh, I'm practicing my squats. Hello, Selina, nice to meet you for the first time!

Selina (confused): Um, you too. I mean, I can't see you, but I'm happy to meet Batman's kids.

Dick (giving a thumbs-up while remaining hidden): Yep, yep, I'm a kid he adopted and never met you!

Bruce: Dick, I told her you were my Robin.

Dick (moving his hand while talking, relieved, and thinking quickly of a good excuse): Robin! Yes! Only Robin, and then I went into a peacekeeping group for many years.

Barbara (smiling as she reveled in making the situation awkward for her ex): That's the excuse they used in the Power Rangers.

Dick: Bagel to the face!

Dick tossed a hard bagel at Barbara, smacking her on the nose.

Selina and Bruce's eyes widened in shock at the food assault. Barbara simply wiped the crumbs from her nose, ready to spill the beans. Tim stepped in front of her to defend his brother.

Tim: It was similar to the Peace Corps. He did that for a while and then became a spy. You haven't met him except when he was a young Robin.

Selina (unaware she's talking to Nightwing as well): I'm so happy for him. Dick, you were such a precious little Robin. I get you're a little nervous to show your face to a cat burglar, but you're safe. Mostly. I might pickpocket you.

Bruce: She's joking... Right?

Selina nodded, laughing softly.

Bruce (after a relieved sigh): I told you not to joke like that.

Selina: You love it.

Selina and Bruce kissed, causing Tim to stick out his tongue in disgust. Barbara found the moment sweet, but Dick used this as his chance to escape, silently crawling out of the kitchen.

Barbara (after the couple pulled away): Selina, have you ever met a man named Nightwing when you were Catwoman?

Selina (tapping her chin): I have met him. He's quite the looker isn't he?

Barbara: That he is, that he is. Bruce, you gonna tell her how you and Nightwing know each other?

Dick (whispering before successfully fleeing the scene): Enjoy this moment, Barbie. I'm going to get you back for this.

Bruce: Um, I actually need to talk to her privately, but I will, thanks for reminding me, Barbara.

Barbara: Batgirl or Oracle works too.

Bruce forced out a laugh, then left with an out of the loop but curious Selina and took her to the Batcave, Alfred following them as he lived for the drama and big reveals like this. Tim glared at Barbara.

Barbara took a sip from her smoothie with a mischievous smile.

Tim: You're being messy and petty for no reason.

Barbara (proud of it): Why, thank you. She's going to find out anyway, and while I do like Selina, I kind of want to see how she reacts to flirting with her boyfriend's son. It's the type of chaos I like.

Tim: You got me there, still wrong though.

Dick peeked his head back in the kitchen a look of worry in his eyes.

Dick: Is she gone?

Tim: Yep, Bruce took her to the Batcave, to show it off and chat. I wouldn't be relieved though, the times she came onto you and propositioned you for sex when you were just starting as Nightwing will definitely be brought up.

Dick (lying with a tight smile): That's greeeat. Not freaking at all.

Tim: Are you terrified that she might actually defend how she acted or that she'll be equally cringing at what she did?

Dick: The former. The latter is thanking god she's not a creep, the former is therapy. Barbara, don't laugh!

Barbara: I'm holding it in for now. This isn't the right moment for laughter, but that will come eventually.

Dick sighed as he went to grab a dish rag to clean up the juice he accidentally coated the counter with when he spit out his drink.

Oh you best believe this will be continued! (Depending on the reception as well lol)

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big fan of the idea of the wayne family not mentioning the fact that jason is alive again. instead he just shows up in the background of the kids snap stories and they all collectively refuse to comment on it ever.

~

The camera opens onto a close up of Tim’s face.

“You guys have to see how cute Ace and Damian are right now, it’s insane.”

The view switches to a living area, centring on a plush armchair where Ace and Damian are both curled up around each other, fast asleep as they cuddle. The camera turns back to Tim’s face.

“He’ll kill me if he ever finds out I have video evidence of him being cute, but he is adorable no matter how much he denies it.”

“Yeah real cute,” Another male voice, this time deeper, is heard somewhere off camera. As it continues, an adult Jason Todd walks past behind Tim. “Right up until he stabs you in the neck with a pencil and you have to get checked for led poisoning.”

Tim snickers, turning to grin at Jason as he walks out the room.

~

Steph holds the camera close to her face from a lowdown angle, positioned up to her chin as she stands in what appears to be a lavish hall. She glances down and holds a finger up to silently ‘shush’ the camera, before looking back up and grinning at something off camera. “The boys are fighting,” She whispers, amused.

“HOW FUCKING DUMB CAN YOU BE?!” Tim’s voice is heard, muffled from the distance. “‘IS WINNIE THE POOH A BEAR?’ NO, HE’S AN OSTRICH YOU DUMB BITCH- WHAT DO YOU THINK HE IS?!”

“IT WAS AN INNOCENT QUESTION!” Dick’s voice screams back. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE SO MEAN-”

“YOU GREW UP IN A FUCKING CIRCUS.” A voice sounding much like Jason Todd’s except older shoots Dick down, and Stephanie bits her lip to stop from laughing. “YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT ANIMALS, DICKFACE.”

“STAY OUT OF IT JASON, THIS DOESN’T CONCERN YOU!”

“SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU STOLE MY FUCKING PHONE CHARGER!”

Damian’s angry voice shrieks out loudly from another part of the house, “CAN YOU THREE SHUT THE FUCK UP?”

Instantly, the first three voices respond, overlapping each other loudly;

“DON’T FUCKING SWEAR-“

“-LANGUAGE, DAMIAN-“

“DON’T MAKE ME CALL BRUCE-!”

“OH MY GOD.” Damian yells back, resigned. Stephanie finally breaks and the clip ends as she starts cackling.

~

Damian’s snapchat story starts with him walking down the hall, the camera outwards and showing as he turns into a library where Tim is reading in a window seat. He walks up to his brother, waiting until Tim looks up from his book with narrowed eyes.

“What do you want?” He asks, suspiciously eyeing the camera. “Why are you filming me?”

Damian is silent. His right arm raises, a paintball gun in hand. Tim clocks it, eyes widening.

“Damian wait nO-“

BANG.

Damian shoots him in the chest, and green paint splatters all over him and his book. Tim yells out in pain and anger and the video becomes blurry as Damian turns to rush out of the room.

“YOU BRAT, GET BACK HERE-“ The picture is a mess of blurred carpet and the sounds of light breathing as Damian runs away from the scene of the crime. He finally slows with the picture still aimed at the ground, showing a pair of socked feet that Damain comes to a stop in front of.

“I did it, you owe me twenty dollars.” Damian is heard, triumphant.

“This is why you’re my favourite brother.” A voice replies.

“JASON YOU PIECE OF SHIT, I KNOW YOU’RE THE ONE THAT KEEPS PAYING PEOPLE TO DO THAT!” Tim is heard distantly.

“I think he is onto you.” Damian warns.

“Eh, I’ve already died once. Life is too short to not take the piss out of your brothers.”

The clip ends.

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Ben 10 and Owl House. Two fav show crossover!

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miracle worker

(Gwen's undying love for Ben is one of the most interesting parts of her character, because the way she goes about protecting him amplifies her savior complex more than anything. Ben comes first, doesn't matter if it's innocent aliens or her own family. They've been through so much together that she would rather the world burn than let it take Ben from her. i dont like the way gwen's written post 2006 series, but her massive savior complex is my favorite addition)

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power fantasy

(thinking a lot about bens relationship with his human body. i like uaf trying to assert that ben was still strong and capable w out the watch, but i think it loses an aspect of his character that was always important, that being ben finding himself inadequate and weak in his human form and overusing the watch to escape it. i think thats why the feedback arc hit so hard, bens hatred of himself and his past over something that was never his fault, all stemming from his hatred of his human body. i personally interpret the feedback arc as less of a drug addiction metaphor [which if it is was pretty shittily written] and more of becoming consumed by what youre not. that theme with ben is most of the reason i relate to him and project on to him as a fellow transexual)

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It's not that he isn't, it's that his batfam is from decades in the future so you need an Elseworld or time travel. So he generally won't be part of the same stories as everyone else.

…this might be a stupid question but why isn’t Terry McGinnis ever included as part of the Batfamily?

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Konnor: Tim has to be the chillest Robin. He's snarky, but I bet that guy doesn't give Batman headaches.

Bart (wearing a beanie that's covering his eyes): Probably.

Meanwhile, in Gotham…

Red Robin had been punching the Riddler for ten minutes and had been beating him up for about twenty. Batman stood to the side, contemplating pulling Red Robin away, but the last time he did that too early, he was greeted with an elbow to the mouth.

Batman (attempting to reason with his son): I think he's had enough.

Red Robin (pausing mid-punch): Nah, he wanted to say something about my mother. I'll give him something to laugh at.

Red Robin resumed wailing on the bleeding, trembling man.

Batman: I can understand the reaction, I'd be pissed if he insulted my mother especially with what he called yours, but-

Red Robin (seething with rage, slapping Riddler): Shut the hell up, or I’m shoving my fist down your throat! Have to deal with Firefly, I'm having insane people thoughts and he insulted my dead mom!

Riddler (weakly): I'm… sorry.

Red Robin (with a twisted smile, beginning to choke Riddler): Say it five more times, and I might stop. Beg! Beg!

Batman checked the time on his phone.

Batman: Alright, let me try this nerve pinch Ra's taught me.

Batman calmly walked behind his son and pinched a nerve on the man's neck, causing his eyes to cross and his tongue to stick out.

Red Robin (falling to the side): Sleepy time.

Batman picked up his son.

Batman: That's right. Let's take you to the car to nap. Edward, stay there.

Riddler (slurred words): I'm not… shure it's shafe for me to shtand up… Reshting here until I'm at Arkham is the shafest choice.

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drawing deltarune every day until chapter 3&4 drop ✨(day 101)

childhood sweethearts

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Batmobile Conversations as Heard by a Fast-food Drive Thru Cashier

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "But what if -"

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "But I could -"

Batman: "No."

Red Robin: "What if I -"

Robin: "Cease this Neanderthal behavior at once! You cannot be a Red if you are dressed entirely in Green!"

~*~*~

Red Hood: "You're not my fucking father!"

Batman: "The paperwork says otherwise."

Red Hood: "Fucking where, Bitch! I'll burn them!"

Batman: "You'd still be grounded and for even longer if you did."

~*~*~

Batman: "Please tell me you have a Signal action figure now?"

Drive Thru Cashier: "I'm afraid Riddler high jacked the truck they were supposed to be on. We haven't got any in yet."

Batmn: *long heavy sigh* " Of course he did."

~*~*~

Red Hood, driving the batmobile for some reason: "I need 10,000 of one of literally anything you carry other than the Night Wings. I literally don't carry what it is."

Signal: "And one order of Robin Nuggets."

Red Hood: "And one order of Robin Nuggets. We Are Robin limited edition version if you have it."

~*~*~

Nightwing, driving the batmobile for some reason: "I need 6 orders of Night Wings, please."

Red Robin: "There are only two of us? And I don't want Night Wings?"

Nightwing: "Nah, that just cause Hood's trying to steal my lead. I'll get you anything you want other than the Caped Crusader Sandwhich though."

~*~*~

Batman: "No, you may not borrow the Batmobile."

Robin: "It's a right of passage!"

Batman: "You are too young to have earned that right yet."

Spoiler: "Ha! He called you a baby!"

~*~*~

Spoiler, driving the batmobile for some reason: "Do you guys have any glitter?"

Drive Thru Cashier: "Ma'am, this is a fast food restaurant."

Spoiler:

Spoiler: "How many packets of ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise can you legally give me?"

Drive Thru Cashier:

Drive Thru Cashier after checking with the manager: "50 packets of each."

Spoiler: "I'll take them!"

~*~*~

Robin, driving the batmobile clearly without permission: "I require 2 Robin Meals. One vegan."

Superboy the 2nd: "Oh! I want a Red Hood toy!"

Robin: "What?! Absolutely not! We will take the current Robin toy! A Nightwing if that's not available!"

Superboy the 2nd: "NOOO! I WANT RED HOOD!"

Red Hood, apparently in the back seat of the batmobile: "Dear God. MAKE IT 4 ROBIN MEALS, PLEASE, ANS GIVE THEM BOTH WHAT THEY WANT SO THEY SHUT UP."

Superboy the 2nd happily: "As long as I get my Red Hood."

Robin grumbling: "Ridiculous. Stop acting so thirsty for it."

Red Hood: *strangled, choking noises*

Superboy the 2nd: *mortified squeal* "ROBIN! That is NOT what that MEANS!"