#‘dyed’ ‘red’

[forgivenfolly]

the dye channels in this game are uhmmm well they’re

[prlssprfctn]

Bruce gets a somehow very serious injury during one of the mission, so now he needs to actually use a "nurse" button (aka. Alfred or any of the kids who is closer) to get something. Expect, Jason and Stephanie modify this stupid button, and now, each time when he presses it, the stupid sitcom ass laughter of the crowd follows it. Just for shit and giggles.

Duke, squinting: Uh, guys... What is with the repetitive sound of dumb laughter coming from the Batcave? Tim, chewing on sandwich: Ignore it. Damian, sighing: Grayson is mad at father, so while he brought him water as father asked for, the water in the question was three big cubes of ice. Duke: Okay...?

But Bruce is no less petty, you all. He starts to use it back to annoy his kids, too.

Tim: Shit! Tim: *trips over his own skate that he left near the armchair in the Batcave, despite Alfred's warnings not to do that, and falls with a loud thud* Dick, panicking: Tim, are you okay- Bruce, smirking: *silently presses button, so now the imaginery crowd laughs at Tim, too* Tim: ...You CANNOT be serious.

[ettle]

Yellow Lives.

[shblackwoodart]

idk why he's dying in a swamp don't ask me

[shouldnotbethunking]

I see your Bruce Wayne is dating Batman rumors and raise you this:

Everyone knows that Bruce Wayne is dating Batman. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Red Hood. Everyone knows that Jason Todd is Bruce Wayne’s dead son. Everyone knows Red Hood hates Batman. This is all a very open secret. Everyone knows Tim Drake and Red Robin have a very public beef with one another. And that Red Hood used to have a very public (but much more violent) beef with the third Robin.

This leads to the general accepted truth being that Red Hood hates Batman because he is fucking his dad, and Tim Drake and Red Robin dislike each other because Tim’s brother beat up Red Robin, and, once again, Red Robin’s dad is fucking Tim’s. Everyone feels a little bad for Red Robin, being at the end of both Red Hood’s and Tim Drake’s distaste, because the former is a crime lord and the latter is Timothy Jackson Drake.

This, naturally, reaches the JL whom does not know Batman’s identity yet. Green Arrow makes a passing comment about having also fucked Wayne, which Batman overhears. Cue absolute bat confusion, which he does not show. And that was how the great Batman found out that he accidentally 100% enforced the rumors that he was dating himself by the way he replied to reporters strange questions that in hindsight were so incredibly obvious.

This whole time, Young Justice is having the time of their lives (while also becoming increasingly concerned) as they watch Tim switch between devices as he replies to himself on different accounts on Twitter to further his own feud with Red Robin.

And Jason is. Not sure how he feels. On one hand, Bruce is now very uncomfortable about many, many things. And people yell at Batman when he starts treating Jason like his son (especially when he yells “I’m not your son!” Because what kind of boyfriend would try to make their boyfriend’s kid their own when they clearly don’t want to be). That’s an upside. But on the other, this implies that he is Bruce’s son. And that brings up a lot of feelings he doesn’t want to deal with. And back on that first hand, people have mostly stopped making thirst traps of his dad (gross). And on the second once more, they have started shipping Red Robin and Tim.

And the others are just sitting back and enjoying the ride (they are absolutely a part of this, but I’m too lazy to type out and come up with ideas for the rest)

[vor-leser]

"Didn´t you say that ruthlessness is mercy?"

[mirensiart]

pain sharing au feat it took them 2 whole comics but reinforcements are finally here :)

< PREV | NEXT >

THE BEGINNING

time got there first cause he has a higher pain tolerance than wild+wars so running with the pain of an arrow to the leg was easier to him :)

also i feel i can pretty much call myself an expert when it comes to drawing lynels now lol

[milk-bat]

[transvampireboyfriend]

based on the scene with Nancy and Robin and how upset Steve is that he can't seduce that man, I propose:

Steve would try to fuck every DnD npc whose description sounds mildly attractive to him.

And maybe, coincidentally, the first couple of times it's girl characters, so no one bats an eye when he does the equivalent of sauntering over with a "hi :)".

But then it's a man, a guard maybe and everyone is suspicious at first, but it works. Steve wins him over and it works to their advantage, so no further discussion is needed.

Except, then it starts to become a habit. He beds a prince, a bard, a couple of maids and queens, an elf. Tries an orc, gets killed about it.

And it's so ridiculous, because at least once every session Eddie will introduce someone and Steve will go "I'm gonna sleep with them"

Everyone: "Steve. You don't have to-"

Steve: "I'm gonna"

Everyone: "No one's asking you to-"

Steve: "I approach them with a proposition"

Everyone: "UGH 🙄"

[catmask]

okay i think i am learning.... something

[shyjusticewarrior]

Tim: I figured out the identities of both Robins, Nightwing, and Batman.

Damian: Is your hand stuck in a drink machine?

Tim: I paid for my zesti, I'm getting my zesti.

[fexjam]

early 20s heavymedic

[prlssprfctn]

Cryptid!Alfred, who is actually immortal. Like, he cannot die for forever - he did once, during the war, and after that... for some reason, he kept coming back, completely without any additional magical help. He sometimes dies again, and then mysteriously comes back on the next morning, as if nothing happened. Bruce used to it at some point, so instead of asking questions (Alfred has no answers, anyway) he just pretends that it is normal. He gaslights kids to think the same. Like, what do you mean he died, Damian? No, he is alrightish. Look in the kitchen, he is making us breakfast. It probably was just a bad dream.

So, when Jason dies and gets back? Oh, Alfred knows his grandson has the same curse/blessing. Because it wasn't the Lazarus Pit that brought Jason back after all, but some strange, unexplainable force. Perhaps, both of them are just bound to end up as guardians, as warriors and protectors - that's why they keep coming back.

...Nevertheless, it doesn't make their family less... anxious about the whole thing. These two from the other side? Oh, they absolutely enjoy their immortal hang-out hours.

Jason: What was your funniest death?

Alfred: I am going to say... that one time, when I was teaching young master Bruce using a hunting rifle, and he accidentally shot me. I came back in fifteen minutes, and, of course, a poor thing was sobbing, but afterwards he was doing all chores for a month. Wonderful days.

Jason: Damn, poor Brucie... My funniest gotta be that one time, when Roy and I got drunk, and I legit jumped off the building because I thought I can fly. Roy had never got sober that quick.

(The first time Jason dies on the family's watch)

Dick, sobbing: Alfred... Alfred... He died! His neck was snapped! How can I live-

Alfred, casually leaning to snap Jason's neck again: Wake up, my boy.

Jason, dramatically gasping for air: Damn, who made me a massage, while I was sleeping?

Tim: What. The. Fuck.

[frownyalfred]

I love all the headcanons about the batkids reaching certain ages and realizing how insane it was that Bruce did (thing) at that age, but I ESPECIALLY love the image of a mid-forties Jason landing a little too hard after his last grappling line and realizing that, holy shit, Bruce’s knees must have been splintering at this point. AND he had a broken back??

[ghost-bxrd]

Prompt:

Jason (maybe on a dare, maybe because he’s loopy etc.) calls Bruce (or any of the Bats, really) to tell him he loves him.

Bruce is convinced Jason is either dying or about to.

[depressedfungus]

Baldurs gate isn’t a dnd game it’s a really really really hard dress up game