#1d angst

[skullsuited]

hawaiian party.

inspired by this song.

gif credit.

an fbh!era/college!au imagine full of angst, humor, smoking weed, hiding in a bathroom at a party & grief.

content warning: marijuana usage, mentions of disordered eating, feelings of loneliness & dealing with a parent’s death.

This was the first time you'd been out since your mother's death. Unwillingly so, and yet, here you were, hiding in your best friend's bathroom at a college party. How depressing of you.

Nadia, your best friend and Alpha Theta's starry-eyed sorority member, had practically pleaded on the phone with you to come out and 'let loose', because 'your mom wouldn't want you to rot in your dorm room, eating M&M's and watching reruns of Grey's Anatomy'.

You hated that she had a point. You hated that this was what your life had come to.

Nadia had also mentioned that a few of your other friends would be attending the party and they had, apparently, mentioned how much they 'missed you' and 'wanted to see you'.

How could you say no to them? If you turned them down, you would be stuck in the same bottomless pit of loneliness, grief and M&M's.

For Nadia, for your friends and for your mother's memory, you had decided to attend the party at her sorority. Many of the people there, you didn't know or really bothered to speak to. As you arrived, you noticed a few of your friends lingering around. Niall was talking to Michael and Luke, Liam and Calum were playing spin the bottle with a few strangers, Nadia was nowhere to be seen and Harry was up against a wall, a joint in between his fingers.

He had been the first one to make eye contact with you, to notice your presence. A smile pulled at his lips and before you knew it, he was chasing you upstairs to the bathroom, racing after you as you tried to ditch the scene.

Which is where you are now: in the bathroom, sitting against the tub with Harry sat next to you.

"You've been away." He breaks through the silence between you, taking a drag from the joint he'd been puffing at.

"Yeah." You reply quietly, eyes cast downward, tracing over the tile.

"How, um... how have you been..." He trails off, trying to find the right words.

"Coping?"

Harry looks at you now, emerald eyes overcome with worry and concern for your wellbeing.

"Not very well. I haven't really... haven't really eaten properly. I mean, you know my relationship with food is..."

"A rollercoaster. Been that way for a very long time. I know."

You sigh, unsure of what to say. Of course, Harry knew. Other than Nadia, he was your closest friend. You'd met in high school and were inseparable ever since. Your fingers twitch towards the joint he's holding, and he hands it to you, watching you take a drag from it.

"Your mum was a good person, Y/N. I know she fucked up a lot of things, but one thing she was truthful about was how much she loved you."

"Y'know, what the really fucked up part of that is?"

"What?"

"I don't believe she truly loved me. I mean, after everything she put me through, how can you call that love?"

"Everyone has their own version of love, Y/N. Whether we understand it or not, is completely up to us."

A half-hearted smile tugs at the right corner of your lips. Harry's very emotionally intelligent and opening up to him, even if it's surface level, is helpful.

As you hand him the joint, a question brews in your mind, "What do you think? About love, I mean."

Harry chuckles, taking the joint from you. "I'd like to think that love is a word for a feeling no one can truly describe. I don't believe it's conditional or should be tied down to a person, place or thing. Love, like any other feeling, should be felt freely. Love is part of the human experience."

"Okay, Professor." You grin, "Maybe you should be studying psychology, become a therapist."

"Mm," He hums, "What have you been up to? Besides hibernating."

"I'm watching Grey's Anatomy again."

"Again? Christ, this is the third time!"

"I'm almost done with Season 11, believe it or not."

"Jesus. Do you not get bored of looking at Jesse Williams?"

"Never."

"Is that all you've been doing?"

"What, is wasting away in my bed, anticipating the next time Dr. Jackson Avery is on my screen, not a healthy way to cope with the fact that my mother's dead?"

"You're passively grieving, Y/N. Hell, I don't even think you've allowed yourself to fully process."

"These things take time, H. I can't just piece myself back together."

"S' not what I'm getting at, love. I think you're pushing your grief to the side."

"Harry..."

"If you need a reminder that you can come to someone, that you're allowed to shoulder the burden with someone else, I'm happy to give you one. You can't go through this alone, no matter how hard you try."

"You know just what to say, don't you?"

"Maybe I should become a therapist. M' quite good at it."

"Well, in that case, should I open up now or let you get your PhD first?"

"Don't bother. Dr. Styles is in."

"In all seriousness? Thank you, H... for letting me just... be."

"Don't have to thank me, love. M' always here. Now, why don't we get out of here, smoke a bowl in my car and get you a cheeseburger?"

"Sounds good to me, Styles."

Harry stands, the joint he'd been holding in between his fingers had burnt out. He tosses it in the trash bin near the toilet, before holding his hand out for you to take. You smile up at him, taking ahold of it.

Exiting the bathroom, you both weave through the party and head out into the night.

If there's anything your mom would have wanted for you, it was to have someone like Harry. Harry was supportive, thoughtful. He knew you better than you knew yourself and, at times, you were grateful for that.

With death, comes life. With life, comes love.

Perhaps, Harry would open your eyes to that.

You had hope that he would. That he will.

[1d1195]

Therapy I

This will be multiple parts--I’ve already written 5k+ words of literal FILTH because the mood struck as such. 

Warnings: some mentions of 18+ material; this is a stupid roommates trope because I’m obsessed.

He smiled at her shaking his head. He wanted to know what her deal was. She was acting like a girlfriend and Lord, was she good at it. He was willing to take her act, but he thought he would have enjoyed it for real as well. “You’re too good t’me, kitten,” he said giving her a peck on the cheek before he made his way to his bathroom; he had the right mind to take a cold shower, so he didn’t think unholy things about her.

*

Truly, she would be the death of him

The ad for a roommate popped up on her university’s alumni page. His profile was then linked to his occupational profile. CST, it read. She clicked the link. “No way,” she said reading the words attached to the abbreviation. Certified Sex Therapist. It seemed like a line he baited girls into getting them home with him, but she clicked on the link to the website with a reputable counseling service record. It wasn’t just sex therapy but other therapies as well. Maybe he can refer me to a therapist she thought with a smirk. She looked back at his profile picture. “That’s simply not fair,” she muttered to herself. He had curly brown hair that was coiffed to perfection. Green eyes that sparkled like the emeralds they surely were. And the dimples. Oh, those dimples were going to be the death of her.

“Well, that can’t possibly be legal,” she said to herself as she clicked on the profile. She was desperate for a roommate. But she wasn’t so desperate that she was willing to get her head chopped off like an idiot. But this was...there was no way it was legal for him to be a sex therapist looking that good. It wouldn’t be fair to any of his clients. How any right-minded woman could go to therapy with their significant other with Harry sitting before them was...laughable. There was no way. She was hardly sure she could manage being roommates with him. But again, she was desperate.

And she was strictly looking for a roommate. One that wouldn’t mind her excessive baking and would share household chores. One that would understand her flexible schedule and wouldn’t mind being friends if it worked out that way. She originally wanted a female roommate. But she had three female roommates in as many months and they were...she didn’t like to say it lightly, but they were crazy.

Hiiii! She typed. It seemed a little over the top and maybe she was, but she wanted to be honest. She was friendly when she needed to be and while she definitely understood roommate boundaries, she always dreamed of a fun little roommate story like she had seen in sitcoms growing up. Something like Friends or Will and Grace seemed like a rite of passage in her twenties. Right now, she was fresh out of college, embarking on her first real job in the city and needed a roommate in order to live in this apartment that wouldn’t break her bank. I’m very interested in being your roommate. I, myself, have very good references and in addition to the apartment itself, I come with my own waffle maker, a full Betty Crocker test kitchen cookbook, and delicious brunch recipes (my brunch sangrias are to die for). Again, maybe over the top. But she wanted him to like her.

She didn’t expect an answer right away, certainly not an incoming video chat. Blinking and surprising herself, she clicked accept. The screen pinged and centered on the smirking face from the profile picture she had just been ogling moments before. “M’very interested in this sangria,” he said with a chuckle. She smirked.

“Yeah?” She wondered. “Are you a white or a red kinda wine drinker?” She asked eyeing the pitcher on top of her fridge while she examined the selection of wines on the counter. She would make him anything he wanted. His voice was smooth and deep like chocolate. He sounded so sultry without even trying.

“Yes,” he chuckled.

She giggled in response. “I see, well my specialty is a white peach recipe; it also happens to be my favorite.”

“Understood,” he nodded. “Suppose it could be a toast to a new roommate?” He chuckled as he questioned her. “You’re the first reasonable one ‘ve gotten a notice for and I... well, I know s’forward, but I jumped when I received y’message obviously,” he shrugged. She felt like she was talking to an old friend. He had this air about him that made everything calm and lovely. “Would love t’be your roommate,” he said with a beautiful smile that ached every vein in her body. Oh, he was going to break her heart. She just knew it. She should have said no right then and there. It would save her in the long run.

“Would you like to see the place?” She asked. “I’ll send you the address.”

*

He was tall and lanky. But he seemed...firm and soft somehow. She showed him around the two-bedroom, and she was grateful to lead because for the one second she let him go in front of her when he entered the apartment, she desperately wanted to touch his back and trace the muscles she could see outlined by his t-shirt. He was cheerful and polite. He shook her hand when he entered, and he held open the doors and gestured for her to go first as she walked by him—even in her own apartment. It made her shiver.

She instantly wanted to be his best friend. “This is a steal,” he said looking around the apartment. He admired the wall hangings she put up. He ran his finger along the frame of one. He was in awe of the space and the price he would pay. She didn’t seem crazy, and he liked her already. “Y’can’t get anyone y’know?” He asked and his eyebrows pinched together in surprise.

She scuffed her foot along the floor shyly. “Most of my friends are in relationships...live with their significant others. I... I was in a relationship with m’degree...don’t have a lot of single friends to be roommates with,” she explained. He nodded easily.

“I get that,” he said shoving his hands into his pockets. He looked so cute. She couldn’t imagine telling him her deepest darkest secrets about her sex life. Not without it leading to sex... “I was in a relationship with my degree too,” he chuckled. “Ruined a lot of m’own relationships...M’closest friends are in a relationship, live with their girlfriends s’well.”

She nodded understandingly. It was tough out there these days. “Well, Harry, so long as you think you can stand me and my baking, I would love to have you,” she smiled. He grinned with relief.

“Thank you, this is amazing, kitten!” He said cheerily. He pulled her in for a hug and kiss on the cheek that left her stunned and speechless. “Sorry, m’very affectionate,” he said sheepishly and glanced at the floor, and she thought she might burst when she saw his cheeks turn pink as he shyly looked away from her. “M’gonna go start packing!” He said just as quickly and hastily left out the door. “Send me y’number!” He called over his shoulder.

She pressed a hand to her cheek. Oh yes, this boy would surely break her heart.

*

Harry made himself at home instantly. He had taken a whole week off to get settled. “How did you manage that? Didn’t you just graduate?” She asked as she helped carry in one of his boxes labeled “Kitchen.”

“No, kitten,” he shook his head. “I graduated last year,” he explained.

She smirked, tilting her head at him. “So, you’ve just been falsely posing on the alumni page for the wrong year?” She questioned.

“Kitten, I was so desperate fo’ a roommate, I was ready to be a dorm advisor,” he chuckled. “Posing as a different year was nothing,” he said easily with another shrug. “Built up some time over the last year,” he told her in explanation as to the paid time off. He wasn’t just starting out like she was. She was struggling with the box as she maneuvered around the other ones. Harry noted it almost immediately and snagged the box from her as if it didn’t weigh at least twenty pounds and grabbed her hip to steady her before she fell and hurt herself. “Y’okay, kitten?” He wondered settling the box at his feet. “Pull anything?” He asked in concern. It was genuine too, everything about Harry was genuine.

She shook her head. “No,” she said quietly trying not to read into everything Harry did. While he said he didn’t have a significant other in college, it didn’t mean he didn’t have one now. “Erm...thanks,” she said and then made her way back to his moving van to get the next box.

“Y’don’t have to help, y’know,” he said following behind her. “We...don’t have to be friends...if y’don’t want.”

She pouted, grateful her back was to him. She was hurt by the idea that they would never be friends and they had hardly even known each other a whole day in total. “Oh...um...”

“Not that I don’t want to be!” He hurried. “Y’seem really cool, kitten. The sangria was a really big selling point if m’being honest,” he chuckled. She spun on her heel which caused him to bump into her awkwardly. “Oof,” he grunted and grabbed her by the hip again to keep her from tumbling backwards. Once steadied, she smirked at him. Every time he touched her made her heart pound, but she liked him regardless of if she wanted to jump his bones. He was fun and sweet. He was a mess of a talker and accidentally insulted her at least once an hour. And he was easy on the eyes of course.

“I think I’ll like being your friend, Mr. Styles.” He smiled so beautifully it made her chest ache. Those dimples would surely be the death of her.

*

When he saw her profile picture, Harry knew he was done for. “She’s gonna break my heart,” he mumbled as he looked over her profile. He had only been in three serious relationships since he was in college. One freshman fling, one that lasted two years during his sophomore and junior years of school before she grew tired of his need to study. The other two-year stint only recently ending due to a misunderstanding on her part about what exclusive meant. Harry was sad, heartbroken, and quite bitter about not having a girlfriend and having to move out of the apartment he had grown accustomed to over the last year or so. He was upset to start over in his love life. He was in love with love, and he wanted to spoil someone he adored.

When he saw her face on that video chat he so bravely called for, he was nearly speechless. He managed to say something about sangria to break the ice so he could focus on not salivating over her cute smile. She was going to ruin him, but in the best of ways. He was sure of it.

They got into a routine before they knew it. It took less than a month of him living there. She hated doing dishes and Harry hated laundry. It was an even trade. Maybe more so on her part, because she didn’t have to suffer Harry seeing her underwear, but she was allowed to fold his boxers and it felt way too close for comfort. They shared just about all other chores. Except she insisted on vacuuming if Harry was going to take the trash out.

“S’jus’...You’re a...very pretty girl, kitten. Don’t want y’t’get into trouble late at night taking the trash out,” he said sheepishly and then rushed out the door before he could say anything else; before he could feel bad about his assumptions of wanting to keep her safe. Harry knew how he felt about her, but he could only imagine how others thought about and looked at her. She busied herself with another task before she could read into Harry. Before she could think about how he called her pretty. Before she could explain she used to take the trash out before he lived there...because maybe she wanted him to call her pretty.

*

Harry’s job had him out of the apartment from 7-5 on Monday through Thursday. They were very long days that left him feeling quite drained but were made better only since he got out early by working 8-12 on Fridays. (And she was sweet enough to have dinner for him on the days he worked so late). He worked close enough that he could even stop in for lunch most days. Which he did when she worked from home on Wednesdays in particular.

She worked in the financial office as an accountant for a big business in the city that Harry hardly understood the comings and goings because she barely understood what they did most of the time. She just knew how to account all their money and knew when to sound the alarm if something was amiss. All he knew is she wore cute business dresses and heels and looked like a Greek goddess. Calling her pretty was just the minimum of what he wanted to say when she looked so utterly beautiful. Even when she worked from home in leggings and a t-shirt, he thought she was just as beautiful if not more than when she was all dolled up. She was made to be a housewife in the most non-misogynistic way possible and he was utterly taken with her. And then, of course there was her sex-appeal.

He would be an idiot to say she wasn’t the sexiest thing he’d ever laid eyes on. It took everything in Harry to not picture her moaning his name every time he saw her. Her lips made him wild. Whether she was smiling or sipping her coffee through the straw. Harry ached to be near her mouth. It was all he dreamed about these days. How she was single was a mystery. He knew she was busy with her degree but if he had known her in college...well there’s not much he wouldn’t do to be her guy.

“Hey kitten,” he said quietly as he entered the apartment. It was Friday. Which meant she was working from home again. He knew she usually napped on her lunch break on Fridays, but he didn’t understand the noise coming from the other room. “Kitten...” he sang hoping to announce his presence and not scare her.

But then he heard a moan. It was so distinct, it stopped him in his tracks. Did she have a guy over? When did she meet him? Was it someone from work? Harry was jealous instantly. He wanted to make her moan. It’s all he dreamed about. He listened for another moment, feeling completely intrusive before he decided to make more noise to show he was home. Quietly he made his way for the front door again and made a good effort to open and then slam it shut.

“Harry?” She called out.

Harry’s entire body shivered to hear her say his name after moaning the way she did. “Jus’ me, kitten,” he called back. She hurried from her room rubbing her eyes, she hardly looked flushed. At least he wasn’t good at pleasuring her. Harry thought to himself.

“You’re home early,” she said.

He smirked. “M’right on time,” he said glancing at the clock. Time must have snuck away from her. And it ate at his heart that it did.

She blushed. “Erm...I just meant...I was supposed to have lunch for you, and I don’t,” she said wrinkling her nose. “M’sorry.” He can feel the jealousy in his chest but it’s not his fault. He heard her moan and it’s going to be all he thinks about for the rest of his days. Certainly, all he thinks about tonight. “Good thing you did come home on time, I slept too long,” she yawned, and Harry realized she did look quite sleepy. The jealousy subsided but he was simultaneously riled at the thought of whatever she was dreaming about.

“S’okay, you can keep sleeping, kitten,” he chuckled. “I can make m’own lunch.”

“Yeah, but I’m home, seems unfair...”

He smiled at her shaking his head. He wanted to know what her deal was. She was acting like a girlfriend and Lord, was she good at it. He was willing to take her act, but he thought he would have enjoyed it for real as well. “You’re too good t’me, kitten,” he said giving her a peck on the cheek before he made his way to his bathroom; he had the right mind to take a cold shower, so he didn’t think unholy things about her.

*

They continued about their lives for the better part of a month. There was nothing too crazy to speak of like her moaning in her sleep. They went to work and came home. They hung out a bit but nothing more than a pair of roommates really. To be expected, she was settling into her new job, she didn’t go out much, but she had plans for the end of the month to spend a long weekend with her friends at the beach. Harry didn’t see his friends too often either. She was unknowing, but he had blown off many plans for Friday nights watching movies and reading books with his roommate.

“Would y’mind if I have some friends over?” Harry wondered. It had been too long, and they were starting to get suspicious. The only time they saw him was at the gym and on Sunday’s when they watched the game at the local pub. She was sitting on the couch reading her book listening to soft music. Looking utterly beautiful without even trying. Harry was obsessed with her.

“It’s your place too, Harry,” she giggled and set her book on the coffee table. “You don’t have to ask.”

But he did. “’Ve got to at least let y’know.”

“Thank you,” she said so sweetly. Her lips dripped with honey. “By all means. Do you want me to bake anything for you?”

His heart thudded violently against his ribcage. Oh, she was so good. Too good. He was a mess for her. “No, kitten. You’re too much,” he shook his head. “And I’ll do all the cleaning, y’aren’t t’lift a finger,” he said raising an eyebrow at her suspiciously. “Understand?” He asked.

She nodded but smirked at him impishly. “Please let me know if you need help though, and don’t worry about me, when I’m tired enough, I can sleep through anything,” she told him. “Seriously, pretend I’m not even here,” she said and rose from the couch and headed for her bedroom.

He did what she said. He pretended she wasn’t there, but that was a bit hard when she consumed all his thoughts. He was organizing the snacks and drinks for his friends and set up the football game Niall asked to watch during the gathering. He was just going to his room to change when he was halted at her room.

He nearly dropped to his knees then and there at the sight of her. She was laying twisted like a vine, half naked. Harry felt so intrusive to something and someone so vulnerable, but he figured it was better he saw her than his friends. Her door was half open, and it must have been the window billowing her curtains that pulled it open because she was out cold, sound asleep. He can’t imagine her leaving her door open for him to find her half naked. Her face was scrunched against one of the pillows, the corner of her book dangerously close to her eye. He didn’t know where to look because everything was on display. Her bum was round and pillowy looking. It begged for his hand to cup each cheek. Her underwear was nearly non-existent hooked at her hips but lost between the cheeky flesh he felt the desperate need to bite. Twisted the way she was, Harry seriously worried about her spine. But only for a moment because then his eyes roamed to her chest. She was only wearing a bra that had her breasts almost spilling out of it. He wanted to bury his face between her cleavage, and he thought he would die a happy man. There was so much of her delicious skin exposed, and he was only man. He had to get out of there fast.

Oh, it was so good he found her and not one of his friends. He stepped in her room quietly and grabbed the throw blanket at the end of her bed. He draped it over her because she did look chilly, and he would rather die than let her be uncomfortable. She sighed dreamily at the warmth. As sexy as she was half naked, Harry was smitten with the sigh that escaped her lips as she was completely covered by the blanket. He wanted to stroke her face, kiss her forehead. But instead, he turned to leave. Once his back was turned, she sighed again. “Harry,” she cooed. It was crystal clear. She caught him. But she sounded unsurprised. Nonetheless, Harry froze in place. He waited for her shock and embarrassment to take over. Her hatred of him.

It didn’t come. Curiously, he glanced over his shoulder and saw she had turned and snuggled deeper into her pillows and pulled the blanket around her shoulder and tucked it under her chin. She was still asleep. Harry was dizzy. His heart was warm, and his entire body tingled to know she was thinking of him while she slept. He had to get out of there. He closed her door with a soft click, making sure the doorknob’s latch was securely in place so that it wouldn’t blow open again.

Then it was back to the cold shower for him. His mind spinning with thoughts of his name on her lips and the body that would mar any thought of another woman for the rest of his life. Truly, she would be the death of him.

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

reblog if you were y/n and your parents used to sell you to mobster One Direction back in 2012-2013 ish

[iamjustaholeforyousir]

Arrogant Son of a Bitch

summary: your father has been searching for suitors for you, and you finally come across an infamous prince, known for all the wrongs amongst the youngs.

warning: slight angst? bit of foul language, bad father figure.

word count: 1222

minors DNI

part1 part2 part3 part4 part5 part6 part7 part8 part9

You were hiding behind the curtains listening in on the conversation next door, how your father was signing your life away, gifting you to someone like you were a possession. Tears were running down your cheeks as you held your breath, waiting for your guests to make their decision, to accept you or to not. 

You were aware that any choice they made would be disastrous for you; if they said yes, you would be sent with them to some place you don't know, and if they said no, your father would make mockery of you and condemn your life because you were the last daughter and had no luck finding a suitor.

You were aware that you were not the most beautiful princess out there and that you were frequently overshadowed by your sisters and later by other princesses. For you, hiding was easy. Yes, you have had your fair share of crushes, but none of them actually lasted long enough to develop further, and most of them would be snatched away from you by others before they could blossom.

When your name was called as you were beginning to get lost in your own thoughts, you immediately wiped the tears from your cheeks, smiled a couple times, and walked in. You enter the room with manners and grace, keeping your head down and not glancing up at the guests as you stand in front of your father.

When he says, "This is her," you turn to your right and lift your head, and what you see is something from a dream. Shiny brown curls, forest green eyes that seem to encompass the entire wilderness, his bow shaped lips that were the most exquisite shade of pink you had ever seen, he was clad in black, his suit jacket that had a golden pattern, and he stood prim and proper as you were walking in. Taking in his features, you looked at his face as whole, he had an expression on his face, you couldn't name the emotion, but it definitely wasn't one of happiness.

He was not delighted to see you.

And that is what brought you back down to earth from your high.

A more senior man stood next to him; you could tell by the way he looked that they were father and son. This man had a gentler, more forgiving appearance, you bow before them both.

"It is a joy to meet you, darling." The older man said, you tried giving him a smile, but you did not give him a sincere one. It went unnoticed by everyone, except the man in black. He looked at you with a sharp gaze, and something seemed to change in the way he was looking at you. He looked amused now.

you wanted to scoff.

What a twat!

“Y/n, this King Styles of Holmes Chapel, and this is his son Prince Harry.” your father introduced them. This was Prince Harry, who was infamous among the princesses for being a flirt, the kind of man who would make you believe you have something just to spend the night because, from what you heard, he liked having that kind of power over people.

“Y/f/n, if you don't mind, we can send the kids to talk, so they can get to know each other.” said King Styles.

"Of course!  Y/n, show Prince Harry the gardens." There was nothing you could do but follow his instructions. Without saying a word, you signaled to the younger man to follow you and were relieved when he appeared to comprehend. During your entire stroll to the gardens, neither of you spoke a word, and you barely even exchanged glances besides when you needed to give directions.

You sat down on the bench in front of the large fountain in the gardens when you had finally arrived there, and he joined you. you Consider saying something because the stillness was becoming too loud. "Look, I understand that you do not want this, and quite frankly, neither do I." He interrupted your thoughts. You may not have wanted this, but you knew you needed it to get away from your father. He had to agree, and when he admitted he didn't, it clearly showed on your face that you weren't exactly happy. He immediately responded, "I have someone else that I..uh that i have my eyes on, and it's not like.. Look, I just-" "Prince Harry, you are one of the final proposals i will ever get, and i realize that i am not the most gorgeous princess out there, so you do not have to say yes to me, i know all about you, and what all you do,” He clenched his jaw at your oblique charge, “but i really need to get married.” He laughs this off, "Bloody Hell, you are so desperate! For what purpose? Huh? getting dick? That is it?” You were furious at him for using such outrageous language as you gasped at it. "I will have you know, Prince Harry, that I do not intend to do that. I simply desire such a thing because I need to leave this place. I have been forced into courtships for as long as I can remember. You have no idea what it is like for a princess to always be rejected!” “And whose fault is that, then?” He mumbles, you gaze at him in shock, and as his words sink in, your eyes begin to tear up. You turn away from him so he will not see you crying. Harry did not appear to care if he heard you struggle to control the sob that was escaping from your throat despite your best efforts to remain composed.

Until a servant arrived and informed you that your presence was wanted by your father, the quiet between you felt as though it had lasted for eons. Without waiting for Harry, you get up and leave. You could hear his footsteps following you, but you remained reluctant to turn around and look. As you got closer to the door, you slowed down and cleaned your face before waiting for Harry to stand next to you outside. 

He keeps his hands behind his back as you lift your hand to knock on the door, but you can sense his anxiety. What does he have to be worried about? you wanted to yell at him. He is the one who was outrageous and cruel, and he is the one who will return to whatever princess he was pursuing regardless, while you will have to endure yet another encounter with yet another prince.

When you hear your father granting you permission to enter, you attempt to unlock the door once more, but this time he stops you and does it himself; what a prince! He caught you looking at him and noticed the sarcasm seeping from your face, but like everything else, he decided to ignore this as well, moving aside to let you in. Your hand was touching his front, which was too close for you. You looked at him as if to urge him to get away, but he gave you a contemptuous response. When your gazing contest was over, you looked ahead and saw something you had thought you would never see.

@remuslupinwifee @strwbrrydaydreams

[33-81]

Italy with Harry

[harrrystyles-writing]

Hmmm, meu primeiro pedido de concept.

Quero um angust com os números 10, 12, 15 e 16

Bem dramático do jeito q eu gosto.

Frases: Você foi uma perda de tempo." "Você me fez me odiar./Quando você deixou de me amar?/Como faço para você me amar de novo?"

Aviso: Angústia.

NotaAutora: @nihstyles que goste meu amor, deixei ele bem dramático 🥹🥹

🌼 MASTERLIST 🌼

HARRY CONCEPT #21

— Que porra é essa? — S/n gritou assim que olhou a foto no celular de sua dama de honra — Isso é real?

Era seu noivo sentado em uma poltrona com uma mulher nua o beijando.

— Foi tirada ontem a noite. — Sua irmã tristemente respondeu. — Na despedida de solteiro dele.

— O que?! Ele não pode ter feito isso comigo. — Ela tentava se mexer, mas o enorme vestido branco impedia de fazer muitos movimentos.

— S/n, você está bem?

— Lógico que não, cadê ele? Está no outro cômodo?

— Não! Ele já está no altar esperando, você vai até lá?

— Eu preciso, porque não vai haver mais casamento. — Soltou um suspiro longo, tomando coragem para a situação mais constrangedora de sua vida.

Não era para terminar assim.

Houve uma época em que tudo era perfeito, uma época onde S/n era uma noiva feliz e Harry não a traíu.

Ela gostaria de poder voltar no tempo.

 — O que faz aqui? Eu já não disse que não era mais para aparecer. — Seu coração apertou-se ao vê-lo entrar pela porta lateral de manhã.

— Eu só vim pegar algumas coisas.

— Faça isso rápido. — Rispidamente retrucou. — Vou sair daqui a 20 minutos e não quero você aqui.

— Eu tenho muitas coisas não vou conseguir tudo nesse tempo.

— Eu não importo, só quero que você suma da minha casa, eu ainda estou sendo bem boazinha deixando você pegar suas coisas ao invés de queima-lás.

— Da nossa casa, essa ainda é minha casa. — Afirmou com convicção.

— Não, esta não é nossa casa, ela deixou de ser um lar, logo após você ter dormido com outra mulher.

— Eu já te disse que isso nunca aconteceu.

— Ah! Sim, só foi um beijo estúpido na sua despedida de solteiro?! Não foi assim que você descreveu? — Ironizou, jogando sua xícara na pia,todo o apetite de café da manhã havia sumido — Mas eu vi a porra da foto, ela estava nua em cima de você, Harry.

— Olha, eu não vou entrar nessa discussão de novo, estou cansado.

— Que bom, porque já estou cansada de ver suas lágrimas falsas de perdão. 

— Não precisa ser tão rude comigo, eu ainda sou um ser humano, sabia? E você tem me tratado pior que um animal. 

— E como eu deveria tratar um traidor? Que simplesmente me fez passar a pior coisa da minha vida?

Não restava mais nada além de pura amargura e ódio dentro dela nesse momento.

— Eu sei que mereço ser punido, eu sei, no momento que eu vi a stripper lá eu deveria ter acabado com tudo,eu sei, mas todos estavam animados e bêbados e ela acabou me beijando sem mesmo eu querer isso, me perdoa por ser um bêbado estúpido, quantas vezes eu preciso dizer que eu nunca quis aquilo, mas o que você anda fazendo me machuca muito, parece que todo o amor sumiu. — Seus olhos estavam vermelhos, prestes a chorar. — Quando você deixou de me amar?

— No momento em que eu vi aquela porra de foto prestes a entrar no altar!— Às lágrimas quentes borravam sua maquiagem. — Quer que eu me importe com seus sentimentos agora? Você pensou nos meus sentimentos quando me traiu? Certamente não pensou enquanto bebia e via uma stripper nua na sua frente ou quando todos naquela igreja também viram aquela foto, então por que eu deveria ser boazinha com você? — Apontava o dedo indicador para ele. — Você me fez me odiar. — Soluçou. — É isso que uma traição causa em uma pessoa.

 

Harry se odiava e odiava mais por ela o odiar agora. Ele fez a única coisa que prometeu que nunca faria. Ele quebrou seu coração.Ele disse que ela era o amor da vida dele e depois a fez sentir completamente o contrário. Agora nada poderia consertar seu erro.

— Aqui estão as chaves, o aluguel vence dia 09, pague certinho e não teremos problemas. — O senhor de bigode entregou o molho ao Harry. 

— Muito obrigado. — Sorriu educadamente antes de fechar a porta.

Vendo aquele apartamento vazio, ele quis chorar, tudo parecia estranho sem ela, ele precisava daquela doce voz para dizer que tudo ficaria bem. Ele nunca quis magoá-la, Harry desejou nunca ter ido à casa do Matt naquela noite estúpida, porque aquele beijo não significou nada, mas isso não importa mais, porque custou tudo a ele e dói demais até para admitir.

 

As coisas do novo apartamento finalmente estavam no devido lugar, mas ainda percebeu faltar algo. A dor no peito só aumentou assim que ele deitou-se exausto na cama para dormir, mas não conseguia, ele precisava dela, ambos eram para estar em lua de mel agora, mas nunca aconteceu por sua causa dele e sabia que do outro lado da cidade ela estava tão triste quanto ele.

Harry precisava tentar uma última vez, nem que fosse para sair de coração partido, ele vestiu seus sapatos de corrida e correu por quase toda a cidade até ir de encontro a porta dela.

— Oi... — Seu sorriso era tímido assim que S/n atendeu a porta na oitava vez que apertou a campainha.

— O que você veio fazer aqui?

— Eu precisava ver você. 

— Tchau, Harry. — Revirou os olhos, indo fechar a porta.

— Espere. — Ele colocou o pé a impedindo.

— O quê?! — Sua voz já estava um pouco alterada.

Ele percebeu seus olhos inchados, ela chorou.

— Eu preciso te perguntar uma coisa.

— Perguntar o quê?

— Como faço para você me amar de novo? — Quase como um sussurro questionou. — Você é a melhor coisa que já aconteceu comigo, eu não quero ficar sem você.

Sua expressão não mudou, em outra vida seu coração até podia palpitar ao ouvir essas palavras, mas agora era só dor que preenchia seu peito, ele fez isso com ela. Harry era tudo para ela, seu porto seguro, sua alma gêmea, mas agora não passava do homem que quebrou seu coração.

— Você foi uma perda de tempo.

Não era assim que se consertava as coisas, ele simplesmente não podia só chegar e dizer o quanto a queria, assim ele só estava piorando as coisas e a machucando ainda mais no processo.

— S/n, por favor. — Harry ajoelhou-se implorando. — Eu faço o que for preciso para ter você de volta, pode me tratar como quiser, pode me xingar e me fazer de capacho, eu faço tudo com tanto que no final do dia eu possa estar com você, olhar para você, eu não consigo viver sem você.

— Eu não consigo mais confiar em você, sei que você diz que foi só uma noite e só um beijo, mas você é um traidor, você beijou outra pessoa um dia antes de se casar comigo, como eu posso querer uma vida com alguém que é capaz disto? Vá embora, Harry e faz um favor a nós dois não me procure mais. — A porta foi lentamente se fechando, mas a dúvida em sua mente a consumiu a fazendo perguntar. — Harry?

— Sim? — Ele já estava pronto pra se virar e partir.

— Valeu a pena?

— Você sabe que não.

Muito obrigada por ler até aqui! Se gostou fav, reblogue ou deixe uma ask, isso realmente é muito importante para mim 🥺♥️

Taglist: @little-big-fan @say-narry @umadirectioner @harry-sofrida @lanavelstommo

[missmielyhoran]

Cameras

She looks like a star but only on camera...

[Actor!Harry× Actress Oc!Amyra, Harry× Ellie]

A/N- Based on my interpretation of Cameras by Drake. I know you guys want Stages of grief but guys your girl is getting some alright! I'm happy right now let me be sad cause I'm dating a man afterall he's bound to do something and then I will update stages of grief<3

Warning- Smut babyyyyy, Cheating, Manipulation, Paparazzi, Fake Dating?, Toxic Harry and Oc, Choking, Hate fucking, just me being a menace tbh, ANGST, Enimes to lovers? they never get there tbh, oh and death, depression, abuse

Masterlist

*****

We've been living on the high, they've been talking on a low

But it's cool, know you heard it all before

Whispers were common for Harry. After all, that's what made him what he is today, famous.

The whispers paid his bills. All his luxury life was because of those whispers.

So he wraped his hand around her waist a little to close for coworkers or friends and definitely too close for someone he hated, but whispers grew louder, so did the camera shutters, and so did his pay.

Got you angry about this girl I'm with in all them magazines

Another plate went crashing against the wall just past Harry's head. He flinched and screamed.

"Are you fucking crazy!"

"Yes I am!" Ellie screams as she searches for another thing to throw at him, "You make me fucking crazy!" She screams and throws the magazine at him.

It hits him at the head, and that only makes his anger grow. He looked down and saw her smug face looking back at him like she was happy watching two of them fight, the satisfaction she was having from his misery.

Oh, how she got on his nerves even without being there.

"You're with her on everywhere! Magazines, social media, Twitter fucking everywhere. Everyone's talking about you two!" Ellie screams in anger, bringing the same topic of their fight for the millionth time.

It look like we in love, but only on camera

Only on camera, only on camera

"Ellie, you know it's only for the promotions! We need to have to spread the rumor to gain an audience! People love drama so we have to give them that!" Harry said, which was more like scream. He pinched the bridge of his nose as he felt headache growing.

"But for how long?" Ellie screamed. The only emotions she felt at this point were anger just anger, no tears, no sadness, no betrayal, just anger.

"I don't fucking know okay! Stop acting like a child and grow the fuck up!" He screamed again at her but louder making Ellie flinch which he noticed and he did feel bad.

See the problem was Harry didn't love Ellie, he care about her and she was a good fuck but he didn't love her but that care made him walk forward with a soft demour and kiss her softly.

"I hate her guts, Ellie. I have nothing with her. Whatever, it is just on camera. " He said, "If you want, you can check my phone"

"Yeah, I want to" Ellie said, sighing as she felt a bit lighter. Harry took his phone out of the jacket and gave it to her. Ellie went through his phone every corner of his phone she looked at, and that's only she felt relieved. There was nothing suspicious, and that made her feel embarrassed and sad about her overreacting.

"I'm so sorry, babe" Ellie said and hugged him. Harry hugged her back and chuckled mockingly

"It's alright Ellie" He said, "She's fucking crazy anyway" He said as he felt the burner phone vibrate in his back pocket.

Baby she looks like a star but only on camera

Only on camera, only on camera

Amyra was the talk of the town and has been since her birth.

Born to famous director dad and more famous actress mom she was the it girl since childhood.

She was pretty with her long red hair and sluttry brown eyes. She didn't have any extraordinary features, but that's what made her different. She was like any other person, but at the same time, she was not. She was Amyra Stockly, and she owned that.

No wonder she got Harry in her claws.

It's hard to stay away

You keep on calling me

Harry loved whispers no matter if it's from the paps or people gossiping about him when he passes by them or if it's from her tangled between the sheets.

"Yeah you fucking like that don't you?" He whispered in her ear and bit on it.

"No I fucking don't you forgot your today's dose of viagra or what?" She said laughing trying to rile Harry up which worked as he paused and groaned.

Harry grabbed her neck and pushed her face down into the pillow, making her lay on the bed on her stomach he pulled out of her immediately and then pushed in one go, making her moan into the pillow. He increased his pace, putting all his energy and thoughts in it.

"I don't even fucking know why I come back" He said in between breaths, "Cause you love my pussy, fucking pussy whipped" She said chuckling.

Harry gave her a particular harsh thrust making her moan louder than he has ever heard and he didn't know how in her green lively world he became harder still inside her.

"You like that baby? Pretty little Raya likes to be fucked like slut" He whispered in her ears as his fingers slid from her stomach to between her legs and he started rubbing her clit.

"She does but pretty little Harold seems to have forgotten about my clit it's on the fucking left" She says with gasping breaths. Harry feels embarrassment for a second but then goes back in with double encouragement and starts rubbing her clit faster.

She was so close so close to her eternal bliss when Harry's phone went off. She picked it up and as soon as she saw Ellie's name she threw it across the room making it shatter into pieces and all Harry did was chuckle cause it wasn't the first time it happened and certainly wasn't last.

Harry pushed on her back, making her arch more and started thrusting deeper, she screams on the top of her lungs as she squirted all over the bedsheets.

"Holy fuck" He said in disbelieve, the sight pushed him to his own high and he came all inside her filling her up to the brim.

Harry fell on the bed beside her, both heaving like animals. After a few minutes, she stood up and put on her slik robe and walked towards the windowsill and sat down lighting the cigarette.

The sight was somewhat what you would see in those Renaissance paintings, her robe slipping from her shoulder, the cigarette smoking mixing with the sunlight that fell just right on her hair making her look like all the sins and virtue combined in the heaven and the hell.

She was Harry's personal heaven in hell.

For a moment, Harry could've even said that he loved her, but he wouldn't. There was only one thing he could love that was money as much as the temptress she was. Nothing was worse than those green papers.

So, he stood up, got dressed, and walked out of the room like he cared so less about her. He walked out like he got the thing he wanted and couldn't have cared less.

But that wasn't true, was it? They both knew it just didn't want to acknowledge it.

So he left his temptress, his only sunshine in darkness on the windowsill with sin on her fingers and lips.

How you mean, how you mean, what you know about the team

You just know what you get told girl I see behind the scene

Harry didn't mean to peek, but when he heard shouting coming out of the trailer, he couldn't help himself.

The door was slightly ajar, but it was enough for him to look inside and watch her with a very angry look on her face, fighting with her manager still in set clothes.

"I can't do this shit anymore," She shouted, "I'm quitting. I can't do this movie, this spotlight, this fucking everything!" She shouted and this was the first time Harry saw her vulnerable. The raw expression on her face was much different from what she shows on the movie it was real, it was her.

"Why now? You've been in this since you were a newborn. Why now?" The manger asked her, "You can't do this cause you're tired or you are in love with your boytoy?" He asked, smirking.

She kept looking up at him with anger but now with slight hesitation. Robert laughed full of mokery and shook his head.

"Nothing to laugh about. I want out, and that's it." She put her foot down. Robert took a step forward and gribbed the back of her head, taking a chunk of her hair in her hand and making her wince.

Harry's hand formed a fist, but he refrained himself from intervening.

"I make rules here not you and you will do as I say or little kid wants this to get to her mom so, I will do that" He says with a evil smile when she doesn't say anything else he lets her go.

"That's what I thought."

Harry got out of the way before Robert could see him. As soon as he was out of the trailer, he went inside. Why? he didn't know he just wanted to.

He didn't know what he thought he would see, maybe her crying, sobbing on floor or breaking down whole trailer in anger shouting at everyonea anything expect her standing in front of the mirror flixing her hair like nothing happened.

He walked in slowly.

She looked at him.

He walked towards her and stood there looking into her honeycomb like mirage eyes and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug.

He felt her for the first time. He felt her rigid heart of stone melt into a puddle, and so he held her tighter, and for some reason, he never wanted to let her go.

He hoped she thought the same.

She spilled whisky on her shirt, she gon' have to get it cleaned

She been going way too hard, someone has to intervene

It was her birthday party, and since movie had wrapped up shooting there was a combined party.

And Harry did the stupidest thing he could.

His mind was a mess after that day, it felt like everything between them changed. Even their sex somehow felt....softer.

How a hug could change everything?

So, he took Ellie to the party and he regretted it as soon as he said it to her.

The cameras, the paps, everyone asking the same question, who is she, and the answer he gave was lound and clear, "Oh she's my friend."

She didn't seem to have taken it well though.

Harry saw her wandering eye falling on him, looking him up and down with the same hunger as always and then Ellie came in and pulled him into a kiss.

Amd then she was gone.

The person who's birthday party it was gone and no one cared. He was certain that if someone else would have cut her cake they wouldn't have cared.

But she came to cut the cake, drunk so, drunk and probably high also. She was stumbling, giggling it, it was endering to watch and concering also.

She cut the cake with Harry beside her playing the "supportive boyfriend" for media. She didn't feed him the piece, but to her other costar, Shelly. She doesn't even know Shelly! Harry was pissed to say the least, so while the cake got distributed, he decided to talk to her, but again, she vanished in thin air.

Harry for the whole night kept searching for her his eyes wandering to find her which annoyed Ellie a lot but she kept her cool and tried to pull him into a small kiss only for him to push Ellie away.

"What the fuck to you actually want?" Ellie asked him just for Harry to give her a eye roll.

"Not here, go back to your house we will talk there" He said to her before taking off to look for her.

Harry searched the whole house, every nook and corner from first floor to the last one the place left was the last bathroom on the top floor and he really hoped he would find her there.

He did find her sitting in the bathtub. Her heels were on the floor, her dress bunched up with whiskey stain on them, her makeup running down her cheeks all messy, yet she looked like something poet would write poems about.

If Harry wasn't so sure he would've said she just fucked someone but he saw her, he felt her cause he was feeling it too.

"Why are you ignoring me?" He asked. It was so stupid, but he wanted to know, and he also didn't know how to talk to her.

Her red eyes fell on him, and again Harry was amazed how intoxicating she was, how her single glance gave Harry so much relief like thirsty person in dessert just got his thirst quenched.

"You look handsome" She said with a small smile. He was in a sage green satin shirt with a dark blue suit accidentally matching with her green dress, which was for once was not planned.

"Not answer of my question." He said back and walked towards her and got into the tub in front of her.

"I don't need to answer anything to you" she said, taking a swing of champagne bottle he just noticed in her hand.

"You do. Why.are.you.ignoring.me?" He said through gritted teeth pushing his face closer to hers.

She looked up and Harry saw, he saw the same vulnerability he saw few weeks ago, he saw her, "You came with her" She said in a soft voice and Harry's whole body melted into a puddle. How could a person whose heart is made of stone could be melted by other person with the same heart. Maybe she broke him, rocks break rocks, and ignited fire that Harry feels every time he's near her.

"y-yes, she's my girlfriend" He said so unsure he cringed himself which she caught and smiled showing off her left side dimple.

"You love her?" She asked after some time. He didn't know who she was talking about, and he wanted to ask if it was Ellie or her, but how could he love anyone other than himself? Was he even capable of it? Maybe he was, but a scared broken man could have never loved right.

"Doesn't matter" He replied back, and her smile fell into a sad one. She took a deep breath and fell back, resting her back against the cold tiled floor.

"You're right it doesn't matter." She whispered, drinking again and everything went silent. "You know Harry I can have anything I want." She spoke after some time.

"Yeah I know you're filthy rich eveyone knows that" He said scoffing.

"Yet I can't have one thing I want and it's so annoying. Cause I always get what I want I'm Amyra Stockly and I can't" She said through a chuckle and scoff. He didn't know how to comfort her. He didn't know why he wanted to comfort her. He hated her but maybe that was it, he hated her.

"What do you want Raya?" He asked into a soft voice. She looked at him, so deep he thought she could see his soul, his heart beating so fast it could power a city lighting up her name.

"Really like that nickname. First one I ever got to be honest" She said, "If you don't consider slut to be a nickname"

"Why are you dodging all of my questions?" Harry asked feeling annoyed by her nonchalant behavior.

"It's called good media training kinda get used to it when you have been doing it for so long" She said with a smirk and he knew she was just edging him to snap but that wasn't gonna happen that day.

"Forget that tell me what you got me for present? It's my birthday, after all, or did you think you would get away with birthday sex?" She said with a playful tone.

"No I brought you something" Harry said with a smile, he worked for a month straight on her gift, the one she knew she would love but as he searched and felt nothing in his pockets he was reminded that it was in Ellie's purse, "Shit I forgot it at home I promise I will give it to you"

"You better, I will be waiting" She said taking a swing of drink again.

He just hummed and watched her. Everyone knew she was gorgeous, the red hair, brown eyes with slight freckles on her nose she was like some Goddess sent on earth.

The light bouncing from the mirror in front of tub bounced and fell softly on her side. Harry scooted closer to her and tucked her messy strand of hair behind her ear, it was missing earring which made him smile.

He looked at her and pulled her in a kiss, it was soft like sleeping a bed of clouds, he didn't know what shit feeling butterflies was like until that moment. The kiss left both of them breathless, her lips glistening and swollen made him love all over again.

"If it was your last night how would you spend it?" She whispered to him, her eyes not leaving his and he wished he could have seen it but he couldn't.

"I would spend it with someone I love" He whispered back, his fingers brushing her hair making her hum in contentment.

The moment soon was destroyed as his phone rang and he saw Ellie's name pop up on the screen, made him so angry he wanted to throw his phone across the room but he took a deep breath and picked it up.

"I don't want to waste much of you time just want to give you back her gift sonce it's her birthday and all. I'm the parking" She said as soon as he picked up the call.

"I will be there in 5" He replied and started to get up when she gripped his hand.

"Stay" She said.

"What?" He asked in confusion.

"Stay just for tonight. Don't go to her" She whispered so softly he could've missed it but he didn't know how he could when she was all he could see.

"What are you-"

"Stay here with me in this bathroom for one night. Just you and me" She cut him off. The look in her eyes was something he could never forget. Even in darkness, her eyes shined like sunlight peeking through the holes of a dark room, and maybe that's somewhat what Harry saw her as.

She burned for her whole life but shined into everyone elses. So, he walked towards that door and this time he didn't leave his temptress but he locked the door and walked back to her. He gave into her, and she pulled him into her like they were made of the same starlight.

Somewhere during the night of their deep conversation and laughs, Harry fell asleep. The cool and hard tile made his back hurt. He got up, groaning in pain, and with a raging headache. He looked around, trying to find her asleep beside him, but she wasn't there.

He walked towards the door and saw the reflection of himself in the mirror, lipstick stain littering on his cheeks and neck, he smiled as he remembered her kissing all of him but it was so innocent he felt like a teenager in love.

Baby she look like a star, but only on camera

Only on camera, only on camera

Many times, life has taken an unexpected turn for Harry, but this was something that made his head spin.

Amyra Stockly found dead in her bathrub was not the news he ever expected to hear. That was the first time in his life he cried since he was a baby.

He was a mess. He didn't do any press tour or got out of his house until one day, when he found the wrapped up gift.

He never had the courage to go to her grave, he was at her funeral but he ran away from there also, how could he see the eyes that he saw the whole universe in be closed forever?

It was a cruel joke on his life.

First time he fell in love and universe took it away from him.

They took her.

So, he collected all of his courage and walked up to her grave, which, just like her, was beautiful, flowers surrounded her grave from fans and whatever friends and family she had.

He sat down not even caring about getting his clothes dirty it was last of his concerns, he fished his pocket for the thing he came for.

"I know you're still waiting. Even dead you are stubborn showing up in my dreams and sometimes in front of my eyes giving me false hope of you being here with me still" He said with a chuckle.

"I got a tattoo for you" He said, touching the lipstick marks made on his neck, "I know your narcissistic ass is loving it" Harry laughed now seeing blurry due to tears filling his eyes.

He took out the envelope from his pocket and duct taped it to her grave cause hell he was not letting it go anywhere but her, the song he wrote for her and for her only.

He hid it under the flowers so it could stay like that for a while, as he was hiding it he saw a picture of him and her. It was only genuine photo of them where the smiles where real on both of their faces and it made all his patience crumble.

"Wish you were still here" He said through sobs. His broken voice was interrupted with a loud thunder and then rain.

It wasn't even rainy that day but he knew.

It wasn't universe.

It was his universe.

It was her.

*****

[harrycanyonmoonn]

Age Gap

Angst

Best Friend

CEO Harry

CEO Harry series

Dark Harry

Demon!Harry

Enemies to Lovers

Eros ( Starfox)

Famous Reader

Favorite Fics

Fluff

Fratboy!Harry

Good Masterlists

Husband/Dad

Long Hair Harry

Mafia/Gang Harry

More Fics

Random Fics

Random Fics Pt2

Smut

Sub!Harry

divider by ( @cafekitsune )

[inmyblueparadise]

Hello could I ask for a request where the sixth member of one direction was with the boys and maybe they were swarmed by paparazzi and she ended up getting hurt ? It’s ok if you don’t want to I understand ! Have a great day x happy 12 anniversary

Oh man I'm so late with this, I'm so sorry ! Happy really reaaaaaaaally late 12 anniversary darling (btw can you believe it's been that long ? Jeez) Anyway I hope you like it lovie xx

There is a good and a bad side to being a celebrity. 

Of course, people see the glamorous side first, the red carpets, the awards, the luxurious hotels, the money... and you are not going to lie. Yeah, it's great ! But there is also a darker side to putting your life in the spotlight. And especially on a band as famous as One Direction. 

For example, the lack of privacy, all the boys and you have been the victims of gossip magazines and rumors on social media the second you did something. You went out to a club ? You were an alcoholic! You went to grab lunch with a guy ? You guys were dating (even if the guy was your cousin.. and yes that still made your family laugh during the holidays) and so on and so on.. Being followed everywhere was also hard sometimes, because as much as you loved meeting fans, sometimes you just wanted to go to Starbucks without causing a riot. But the worst? THE ACTUAL WORST. Was the paparazzi. 

You didn't mind them at events, behind a line far from you, but when you were swarmed that was something else. Because let's be honest, nobody likes being pushed around, tripped, and blinded by flashes after a 12-hour flight. And as much as your team tries, unfortunately, sometimes they can't stop them from finding you. 

You were just getting out of a 20hrs+ flight from London to Sydney, on which you slept and talk with the boys. You were ready to get off the jet but before you could you saw Paul, frowning at his phone. 

You alright Paul ? you asked 

I'm fine, but I'm going to have to ask you guys to be careful out there fans and paparazzi are here. 

Oh shit ! Should we split up ? 

A little, go by three's. Louis, Liam, and Harry. and Zayn, Y/N, and Niall. And you will be in different cars, please watch out for each other.

That made you stress a little. You had never been a huge fan of crowded places, and having anxiety attacks at the beginning of the rise of the band, was a reminder enough that you were not going to enjoy the next hour. You always felt better with one of the guys next to you and often ended up holding their hands to help keep you calm. You knew Zayn and Niall, were not going to let you get lost, but still, you had a weird feeling in your stomach. You also knew that the three of you would look out for each other because none of you were good being surrounded by a big crowd.

You grab your backpack, checking that your cap was on your head and your sunglasses on your nose and let out a deep breath. But before you exited the plane, you felt a hand softly grab your wrist.

Angel, be careful out there. Stay with Zayn and Niall ok ? 

Don't worry daddy direction, you won't lose me in the crowd, you said smiling. But it was no use trying to hide your anxiety, your boys knew you too well. 

You exited the plane less than 5 minutes after Liam, Louis and Harry. The airport seemed calm, and you were surrounded by security from your team and the airport. But as soon as you saw the door to the outside, and the hundreds of flashes and started to hear the screams of fans, the anxiety started again. You grabbed Niall's hand tight, knowing that he was feeling anxious too.

And once you walked through the doors, it was chaos. Absolute chaos. 

You couldn't see anything other than white flashes or hear something because high pitch screams filled your ears. 

Y/N ! Y/N ! Look here please ! 

You saw fans being pushed around and pressed against each other. Cameras flying around trying to get a picture. You apologized to the fans because you couldn't stop to talk or take pictures. After all, if you stopped you were afraid you would get hurt, and they seemed to understand the situation because they started to try and clear a path between the paparazzi, asking them to move, but apparently, a grown man being told to move by teenage girls was too much for the ego. And. they started to push even more and shout at you. 

That's when you saw it. A young girl, probably 14-15 years old, tumbling to the ground. And by pure instinct, you let go of Niall's hand to help her up. That was a BIG mistake. The second you let go of his hand, he turned around to see what had happened, but he couldn't go back to you, it was almost like walking against the current. He started shouting your name to your security team, but he just saw you disappear in a sea of people. 

You on the other hand were so focused on the young girl who was starting to cry that you didn't realize that you were now surrounded by paparazzi and fans with no security. You crouched on the ground to try and help her up, and that was your second mistake because the second you lowered yourself next to her you were roughly pushed around, making you fall hard on your knees. Wincing as your knees bumped on the pavement, you looked at the girl reaching your hands to her. 

Hi love, grab my hands, Are your ok ? But you couldn't reach her, because a hand had grabbed you, hard. That's when it started, a game of being pulled around in different directions, you felt hands over your arms, your cap being ripped from your head and voices shouting. 

Y/N ! Y/N ! A picture ! Smile sweetheart! Come on ! 

You couldn't breath. You couldn't see. Your arms and hands were covered in scratches, and your knees bleeding. 

Please, can you let me through ? Please I'm just trying to go to the car. Please.

And as much as the fans tried to get them to back away, shouting at them that you were a human being, that you were hurting, they still took pictures, swarming you like ravens.

What you didn't see was the boys reaction. They were in front of you. Way closer to the cars, when they heard the fans. Liam was the first to notice when a fan told him something had happened to you. 

You need to help Y/N, she's hurt !

That made him stop walking and look around trying to spot you. But he couldn't see you. That's when you shouted at Louis.

Lou, do you see Y/N ? 

The oldest of the band whipped around. Not seeing you. And began to shout at Paul. 

Paul ! Where is Tiny ? 

That got the attention of the rest of the band. That was also when they saw Niall struggling to walk back to the airport. 

SHE OVER HERE ! PAUL FUCK SHE'S ON THE GROUND ! 

The fans picked up on it and started shouting at the paparazzi to leave you alone, trying to push them away. But you were still on the ground, having fallen for the third time, hanging your head low, tears streaming down your face. You heard your name being shouted. While half of the security team was trying to make their way to you. 

You saw Scott, one your bodyguards making his way to you. He finally was able to grab you gently around the waist, hosting you up. 

It's ok tiny, I got you. I got you. he whispered in your ear, when you wrapped your arms around his neck, hiding your face, hot tears still streaming down your face. 

Wrap your legs around me, and I'll get you to the cars, darling. 

You had no energy left in you, you just nodded, your face still hidden in his neck. 

He pulled you through the crowd, shouting, telling everyone to back off. And as you made your way closer to the car, you heard the boys, well mostly Louis and Zayn, shouting at the paps. Paul tried to usher them into the car but to no avail. 

What the fuck is wrong with you people ? For a fucking picture ? You fooking loosers ! I'm gonna break your fucking cameras, get them out of our faces for fuck sake! 

Finally, after what felt like hours, you were dropped inside the car, but that didn't make you lighten your grip on Scott's neck. 

It's ok princess, your safe. You let go slowly, seeing the faces of the boys, worry written all over them. 

Thanks Scott

And then, you were swarmed, but this time it didn't scare you. It was full of love. 

Jesus, Angel are you ok ? 

What happened ? 

Babe you're bleeding ! 

Those fookers, Angel, you ok ? 

And as traumatizing as this experience was, you could only, whisper one thing, as the car started pulling away from hell. Still in shock. 

Oh, I lost my cap..

That lightened the tension. You heard chuckles and saw smiles on their faces. 

Oh Angel !

And you were hugged all over, them whispering sweet things, reassuring you, promising you you'll be ok. 

So yes, celebrity was not always a dream life. But as long as you got your boys, what could go wrong ? 

[chaoticloving]

Lullaby

harry styles x actress!reader

summary: a drunk harry and drunk y/n meet at a party, he asks her for a favor and they have a little talk and nap in the bathroom, which of course, leads harry to fall in love.  (see masterlist for series summary <3)

w/c: 2.5k

w: mentions of sex and drinking--smut in future chapters 

a/n: omg this is my first fic for harry! I love this trope and I couldn’t help myself but to write a little series/universe for it because i think i’ve read all of them lmao. but pls keep in mind that english is not my first language and i’m sorry for all of the little spelling/grammar errors! enjoy!

masterlist

February, 2012

Y/n never should have listened to her friend when they said she should sneak out from set at nine and take a two hour car ride into London for a party. 

After partying and drinking, all she wanted was a break from the loud noises and sweaty bodies brushing up against her. She headed for the bathroom but groaned when she heard whimpers coming from the other side. She really didn't want to be out here and the bathroom was the only bit of privacy that the large studio loft had to offer, she hoped that maybe the bathrooms would at least be vacant, but apparently not. 

“Do you know where Y/n went?”

She panicked when she heard that voice. So she banged on the door, and broke the weak lock and went inside, eyes shut.

“Look, I’m so sorry if I’m interrupting–”

“Can you help me?” A small voice asked her. She opened an eye and then the other when she saw a lone boy, fully clothed. He had a small curling wand in his hand and an empty cup on the bathroom counter. “It’s not curling my hair.”

Her tipsy brain didn’t think that much of the request, or that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to hold onto a hot wand that could seriously injure someone, more specifically burn him. But, nevertheless, the door shut behind her as she relocked the already weak lock. “Sure.”

The already curly-headed boy handed her the iron. First, she actually plugged the device in and got one of the combs from the drawer. She prepped his hair while the curling iron heated up, running her hands and comb through his hair made him feel like he was on some special high–her high. 

She soon started and curled a piece of hair, followed by another. “Thanks for doing this.” He mumbled, now sipping his cup filled with tapwater. 

“No problem.” She told him. Her voice was soothing, it made him sleepy but he had to fight through the tiredness. “Needed to avoid someone anyway.”

“‘m Harry, by the way.” He turned around and she removed the curling iron so he was now facing her and held out his hand.

“Y/n.” She smiled and shook his hand. He turned back around and looked at them together in the reflection, he liked what he saw. He sneakily took out his phone and took a photo and inspected it. He showed it to her and she smiled, “cute.”

He nodded in agreement and put his phone back in his back pocket. “Pretty.” He did a quick inhale and met your gaze back in the mirror, a smile creeping back on his face that he quickly got under control. “Who you running from, love?”

“Ugh, my co-star. Plays a clingy bastard on screen and is actually one in real life.” she sighed. “Your hair’s curled.”

He shook his head and she ran her fingers through his hair again, separating the curls and making his hair a bit frizzy. His hair was also fried at the ends, she may have gotten a little too distracted while the wand was in his hair. “Thanks.” He turned to face Y/n and held her hands, staring deep into her eyes. 

“You’re the boyband guy, right?” You asked. “Harry as in Harry Style?”

“Styles but yeah.” He laughed. “And your Hunger Games girl, right? Y/n Y/L/N?”

“Yup.”

“And your co-star would be…Peta?” He tried. 

“Gale actually.” She corrected, then corrected herself. “Actually Liam Hemsworth.”

“Thor?!” He almost shouted. “Thor wants you?”

“No, that's Chris Hemsworth.” She smiled back at him. He stood up instead of kneeling at the ground, he came to be about just under six foot, but with his crazed hair he could possibly be a little taller. “My friend invited me and hyped up this party saying it was totally worth the two hour drive and then annoyingly ditched me and left me to fend for myself and to avoid Liam's obnoxiousness who, for some reason, is here also.”

“Sounds as annoying as our Liam.” Harry mumbled.

“What was that?”

“Nothing. I’m just sorry about that, love.” He hesitantly hugged her, after her approval of course, Harry may still have a little alcohol in his system but he’s still a gentleman. He bear-hugged Y/n when he got the all-clear, loving the way she felt. She was on the colder side, while Harry always struggled with being too warm; it felt heavenly. 

“It’s fine. I’m not working with him now, though.” She mumbled into his side. Her arms were wrapped around his neck and he smelt so nice, so calming. She heard him yawn and proceeded to almost yawn herself. “You tired?”

“Yeah.” He mumbled, he leaned his head into neck. He could smell the faintest bit of floral perfume that was mixed with what smelt like vodka from the party, it was an odd combination but she somehow pulled it off, even if she didn’t mean to smell like the drink. “That bathtub is looking so comfy right now.”

She laughed and it was beautiful enough that Harry wanted to hear that sound for the rest of his life. He soon joined in with her laughter as she looked behind her and in the little extension of the bathroom saw the bathtub empty. 

“It really does.”

Maybe it was her tipsy brain that made her feel this giddy, or maybe it was Harry--she liked to think it was her last vodka shot but deep down knew it was the curly headed man she just met--but napping in a bathtub seemed really nice right now.

“Well then,” Harry reluctantly unwrapped his arms from her and gestured to the bathtub. “After you m’lady.”

She giggled and used his open hand to get in and was followed soon by Harry. “Are you cool with this?”

She softly hummed. “Yup.”

They got comfy surprisingly quickly for laying in the hard plastic bathtub. Giggles filling the room with soft sighs. Y/n was slightly leaning on her side while Harry was half laying on top of her–the tub was small so it was the only way for him to find comfort, but Y/n didn’t mind.

They talked and made incoherent sentences as they laid there, completely enamored with the other and finding the other irresistible. They hadn’t had a drink in what felt like hours–but couldn't have been more than maybe thirty minutes, the loud music and party going on outside wasn’t quieting down through the thin walls–but they were getting drunk on each other. Harry thought about her energy, her personality, just her. He swears he can see some sort of aura around her, a champagne color with a hint of light pink mixed in; it seemed so relaxing for him, just to be soothed by the women beside him.

“Could you do me one last favor?” He mumbled into her neck. His left hand was politely caressing her waist, no intention of anything sexual, just trying to ease her to sleep. 

“Mhm.”

“Could you scratch my head?” He sheepishly asked. Tipsy Harry was a clingy Harry, but Y/n found it cute. “Like when you were doing my hair?”

“Napping and head scratches?” She placed her free hand that wasn’t stuck under him to his head. “Might as well be fucking.”

“Bit to tired for that, love.” He smiled and leaned more into her as he started running her fingers through his hair, getting a bit too accustomed to this. But he was making it up to her–at least, making it up to her as much as he could without moving too much. “Do you like when my hand is on your waist?”

“It’s really relaxing.” She confessed, yawning first now that was then reciprocated by Harry. “Might just fall asleep.”

“Me too.”

And fall asleep they did. 

Harry found Y/n’s heartbeat to be his lullaby. It was comforting just knowing that he had someone there, someone who at least kind of cares for him. He found that even in his dreams that the one coherent thing was her; whether it was her face, her personality, or that laugh. 

In the other world, the party was still raging but definitely with less people. Harry’s bandmates were happily partying except Zayn, who switched to water about an hour ago when a headache was creeping up on him. He didn’t want to deal with drunk Liam, Niall, and Louis, but he knew as the one with the most common sense—at this moment—he had to find his most likely drunk friend who seemed to have wandered off and was nowhere to be found. 

“Hey dude have you seen a girl named Y/n?” A tall man asked Zayn. “I’ve been looking for h—“

“I’m sorry dude but I’m looking for my own drunk friend and I really can’t help you right now.” Zayn sighed, and pushed off the stranger. “Maybe check with security on the bottom floor.”

The tall man scoffed and left Zayn alone. He felt bad, but was more concerned with kicking himself for letting Harry loose. If he ever finds this Y/n he would make sure to send her his way. 

“Harry, where are you?” He said to himself in a very sing-songy voice. He checked the closet and all of the rooms and after being scarred enough, he finally thought to check the bathroom. 

He opened the door, the lock had seemed a tad bit broken but pushed it open so he could get a good look. 

“Look what we have here.” He smiles when he sees Harry hugging a girl while they're both asleep. He takes a photo—definitely using it to blackmail Harry in the future, no way he’d want a photo of him cuddling into a girl practically drooling out on the internet–then puts his phone back to deal with the task at hand.

“Hey, man.” Zayn shakes Harry and he shoots up, eyes wide like a deer caught in headlights. “You used a condom, right?” Zayn jokes.

When Harry doesn’t change his face Zayn repeats himself. “You used a condom, right?” 

“We didn’t have sex.” Harry says when he comes together and soon he tries to wake the girl softly, and when she still wouldn’t wake he used a bit more extreme method of shaking. 

She groans and pushes Harry’s hands off of her, rolling over. “Let me sleep.”

Harry smiles and shakes her again, more gently this time. “You need to get home; which I actually don’t the where is—“

“I’m not on…set.” She opened her eyes and slowly took in her surroundings. She looked over to Harry and the memories start flooding back. “What time is it?” 

Harry looked over to Zayn as Zayn pulled out his phone. “‘Bout five AM.”

“Fuck, I need to leave.” She pushed herself up with Harry following. He held her hand as she got out of the bathtub. 

“Love, do you have a ride?” Harry asks sweetly. She pauses for a moment before getting her phone from her bag and sighing. 

“No, my friend took me and she ditched me.” Harry’s heart broke, how could anyone want to leave her? 

“I can get one of the personal drivers to take you to…”

“The set for Les Mis.” She finished for him. “It’s about a two hour's drive from here though, you guys need to get home.”

“No, I’ll go with you to make sure you get home okay. Zayn will go with the others to make sure they’re okay.” Harry looked back to Zayn and gave him a look that said don’t fuck me over which Zayn definitely got. 

“Yeah, Manny won’t mind the drive out there and I need to make sure that the other boys won’t pass out or die.” Zayn follows and Harry smiles, then turns to her. 

“I get if you’re uncomfortable, so the choice is yours. I don’t want to pressure you to do anything, Y/n.”

“You’re Y/n?” Zayn asks, voice raised. “Your friend was looking for you, tall, scary eyes.” 

“Ugh, that would be my Liam.” She groaned. “I’ll take that ride Harry.”

“Great!” Harry cheers, a little too loudly but is too happy to spend another hour with her to care. “If you would follow me.”

Y/n follows Harry out while Harry calls who she presumes is Manny, and soon enough a large car enters. She takes a quick picture of the card license plate and gets in the car with Harry. 

“What that’s for.” He asks. 

“In case you kidnap me.” She responds, sending the picture to her more reliable friend then the one she went to the party with. 

“Harry said you need to be dropped off a ways?” The driver, Manny, asked. 

“Yeah in Northampshire.” She tells him. “Here.” She gets up and shows the address on her phone to him and he simply nods. She sighs as she sits down, looking at Harry who hasn’t taken his eyes off of her. 

“Thanks for this.” She tells him, her hand touching his arm and squeezing softly. 

He blushes. “It’s nothing really. It’s the least I could do for curling my hair.”

“Your already curly hair, you mean?” She giggles. “I might have fried it so use lots of conditioner.” She ruffles his hair and he embarrassingly laughs. 

“If anyone could’ve curled my hair while drunk, I’m glad it was you.” He tells her, and she could easily feel the heat rise to her cheeks. As silly as it was, she felt flattered.

They got into a comfortable conversation, talking and venting about anything and everything. Y/n talked about promoting Hunger Games while filming Les Miserable, and her experiences. Harry talked about One Direction, touring and opening for Big Time Rush and recording their new album that’s in the works. 

They started talking about things more personally soon too. Harry talked about his mum and sister, hyping them up greatly and saying how much Y/n would love them. Y/n didn’t mention family too much though , more so talking about her dog, Marmalade, and cat, Sugar, that were her little babies. 

Before they knew it they arrived outside the gates for filming. Harry was sad that the hours went away so quickly, but was glad she wasn’t too late that she would get in trouble. 

“Can I get your number?” Harry sheepishly asked. “I really want to keep talking to you—“

“Yeah, give me your phone.” She happily responded and Harry hastily handed the phone over to her. She put in her information and wrote her name.

“Thanks so much, Harry. Seriously.” She kissed his cheek and hopped out the door, leaving a dumbfounded Harry in his seat. “Text me.”

She slammed the door shut and Harry’s mouth was open, holding his phone like his life depended on it—and to be fair, it pretty much did, he wasn’t sure if he could go through life without her. But he didn’t notice that he was gripping the phone so tight, he accidentally clicked on instagram, and in some weird twist of fate, posted the photo of them together on his very public account. 

The black car divider slowly went down and Harry’s eyes met with Manny’s. He had a smirk on his face that made Harry blush. “Does Harry Styles have a crush?”

Harry nervously laughed, watching her leave from his car window and sighed. “Yeah.”

[wolfmoonmusic]

Ok ok ok idea.... One direction x drummer!reader which follows them thru their first album and till now

i was thinking the reader is like zayn's frnd from before and when they need a drummer cuz their drummer got sick for the tour (just an idea) he remembers that she can play it rlly well

so she goes on tour....and becomes their bestie....sees the inside struggles...and shit

steal my girl is written for her...

and like...she's heart broken when zayn leaves (possibly because of harbored feelings???)

and she and zayn stop talking.... She sticks w Harry and becomes his back-up drummer and starts making music of her own otherwise

All the boys (except zayn) support her and shit....

reader had family problems and insecurities and stuff....so matilda by harry is written for her and its like a surprise

and like.....she's rlly upset cuz they were her found family and now they're broke apart

UNTIL The whole Gigi and Yolanda thing happened....and zayn goes thru some shit and he goes to the only person he knows as refugee which isssssss reader (ta daaa)

and then she manages to get them all together

Maybe I'd make like a whole universe type thing?? Ideas and questions welcome...send 'em in my ask box

[a-strange-familiar]

please give us part 2 with happy ending 😫😫😭😭😭😭

Better man -2

A/n : I know you guys hate me, but guess what. Jokes on you cause I hate myself too. I'm sorry I took forever to write this. I know, I'm sorry. As I said my life is shitty rn so I stuck to just reading for a while and I didn't want to write with a wrong state of mind. But I'm back, here is your promised part 2 of Better man.

Warnings : Angst, alcohol mention, lil swearing.

Summary : Harry is a typical asshole rockstar and Y/n is naive and in love with him.

(I'm sorry again for the late. I love you all. Thank you sticking with me.) Part - 1. ( read part 1 before )

-- 6 months later --

This love is a fucking shit show. You fall in love with someone and literally fall, you'll fall and crash, and break your bones but nothing hurts. No matter how toxic the other person is or how shitty they treat you, you will be in that high and can't even feel any of those things. But when you come out of that high, when you start to see the real colours of that person then you will realise the pain. The aftermath is horrible.

After that night when Y/n ended things with Harry she felt numb for few days. She didn't feel anything for a while, she cried that night but later nothing for few days.

But after a week it hit her like a train. Everything, all the things they did, all the memories they had, everything made her cry. She cried and cried and cried until she felt there are no tears left in her anymore.

She was broken, she still didn't understand why she was not enough for him. She still didn't understand why is it that hard for him to love her back. But everything is over so she tried to get over him, she did everything to stop thinking about him.

She gave him her world and he shattered that world into pieces. Obviously it's hard to get over it. She took time but she did it. She changed.

She is over him now.

It's been months, few hard months but she is strong, stronger than ever before. Yes, there were days when she drove around the city and parked her car at some random parking lot and cried there alone in one of his old t-shirts he left at hers because every place reminded him, her house, her balcony, her bedroom, her favorite coffee shop.

But as the time goes by she started to understand that she deserves better than him and she just can't sit and cry for someone who don't even give a single fuck about her.

Eva, her best friend was her biggest support in this process. She made sure Y/n is doing well, she is like sister to Y/n that she never had. Eva used drop by at midnights to check on Y/n. Y/n will be forever thankful for her. She was soo lucky to have her in her life. And Eva never said anything like 'told you so'. Y/n know that she was upset but she understood and Y/n was glad that she did.

And even Sarah understood everything, she made sure Y/n was ok. She couldn't take sides because Harry is also her friend and her boss. But she understood where they both were coming from. She couldn't do more than just consoling them. And Y/n understood.

Now she is healed. She became a better version of her self. She stopped depending on others for her happiness. She started loving herself, which a very big change. She stopped checking about him on social medias or asking about him, trying to know about him.

But it's not completely possible to forget him like that, she still remembered him time to time. After all she loved him with her entire soul. But she made sure that it doesn't break her anymore. But a small part of her heart still beats for him.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

While Y/n is healing and getting better Harry is breaking and getting worse.

He left her house that night after staring at her closed bedroom door for a while. He never understood why he didnt say anything. He just left.

For a while he didn't understand why it's hurting him.

He didn't love her or anything, so why is does it feel like some thing or someone is breaking inside ?

He spent many nights thinking about her. About what she might be doing at that particular moment, is she still crying? Or did she finally realised that he is an asshole and forgot him.

He knew he hurt her, but he can't help it. He didn't do that on purpose. He could never do it on purpose. Yes he was a dick to her. But he was afraid, afraid that he might hurt her and himself. His life is a shit show, everyone he meet will be in public's eye. People will make their life hell. He didn't want that to happen to Y/n.

That's one of the reasons. But the main reason was, he was afraid of love. He was afraid of commitment. His past relationships taught him a lot and he was afraid. And Y/n is an angel, she don't deserve him so he kept telling himself that it's not worth it. That he will make their both lives hell. So he just kept doing what they were doing.

You know that feeling? when you find a person who is a walking green flag. But you become a walking red flag because of your past relationships. That's what happened to Harry. They turned him into an asshole, so he stopped thinking about others and became selfish.

But nothing gives an explanation to why he hurt Y/n. He knew that too. He can't give a perfect reason why he hurt her, broke her. He could have left her the moment she told him her feelings but he didn't, he just pretended that nothing happened. A part of him didn't want to leave her.

There were days when he used to sit and wonder why he was such an ass to her.

"Am I that hard to love, Harry ?"

Her words used ring in his eras, he still remembered her eyes when she asked him that. The pain in them, the hurt. He literally used to beat himself whenever he remembered that expression. Thinking why couldn't he answer her at that moment?

He used to drink until he blacked out. He used to drink and sit and cry like a baby in his room. He felt like his heart was breaking into small pieces and he could feel every piece breaking.

He used to cry thinking about her. Tears running down his face, he couldn't figure out why ? He used lock himself in his room and sob thinking about her. Her memories used to kill him. He used to behave like a zombie and it scared everyone. He started to zone out at work, he started skip his studio sessions and spent his time alone thinking about her.

And he finally understood that he love her. He always did, but refused to belive it.

The moment he saw her sitting alone in that party while everyone are drinking and having fun he knew that she is different. As cliché as it sounds he just felt it.

And in the process of getting to know her he like her, a lot. But he never said that to her, they were going casual and he wanted to keep it that way. He tried to be as distant ad possible, he ignored her on purpose. He know if he didn't he will fuck up and fall in love with her. But he did anyways. But now it's too late, he can't do anything other than sit and cry.

He tried to get into contact with her but she blocked him everywhere which he expected and deserved. He used to ask Sarah about her but she said nothing which he also understood.

He was at his worst, he still is after months. He still didn't forget her. He know he can't, she everywhere. He started to see her in every person, no girl is as perfect as her. No one can be a comparison. He wished that he said that to her. Said how much she means to him, how much he love her, how much he adore her. But didn't and now he can't. He don't even know whether she will for give him or not.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

It's been months since he actually had fun. He stopped hanging out with his friends and going out a lot. He stopped hooking up with girls, he pretty much stopped everything. And his friend are worried about him because he is not himself so they forced him to go out today.

So here he is, sitting in the bar and pretending to listen to the conversation happening around and sipping on his drink. He could have done this at his house too.

Thats when he saw Eva. He know Eva, he met her a couple of times. She is Y/n's best friend and he also know that she is not a very big fan of him.

She is taking with a blonde guy at the other side of the bar, he swiftly checked if Y/n was here too. But for his disappointment she is not. Eva is alone with that guy.

He contemplated on going to her and talking. It's been months and he don't know how Y/n is doing, and he wanted to knoe very badly. But most probably Eva will not talk to him.

He saw that blonde guy wishpered something and leave. Harry thought it's the right time, if he hesitate now he may never get a chance to know about Y/n. So he excused himself from his friends and his way towards Eva.

"Eva." He called her with a hesitant voice.

She turned and looked at him. She had this unpleasant look on her face which is Harry is not used to, but he know that he deserves it.

"Umm... hi. How are you ? "

She rolled her eyes. "What do you want, Harry? " her tone is uninterested.

"I - I just wanted to say hi." He scratched back of his neck, he is uncomfortable.

"I'm not interested in small talk with you. So if you don't mind." She started to leave.

"Wait" he said in a hurry.

"I just wanted to talk for a minute."

"What do you wanna talk about Harry ? About Y/n ?" She asked in a mocking way.

"Umm. Ye - yes. I just want to know how is she doing ?"

She scoffed "Are you for real?"

He sighed "Look , Eva I'm sorry for everything. I never wanted this to happen this way. I know I'm a dick. I don't deserve her"

"Yes, you really don't." She interrupted him

"I know. But I don't.. I can't get her out of my mind. I just - I just I feel like ... it's killing me. "

She was silent for a moment.

"Look I just wanted know about her, how is she ?"

"Oh she is very happy ,Harry thank you for your concern." She said sarcastically.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what ? For hurting and breaking her heart while you were enjoying with other girls?"

He closed his eyes. Everything hurts, listening to her say those things out hurts even more.

"I know." His voice is shaky. He is on the verge of crying. But he can't.

"Harry, I don't know why you didn't love her, I don't even wanna know. But atleast you could have left before everything went to south. She don't deserve this. You have no idea how much of dick you are." Her anger towards him, and her concern and love towards Y/n is clearly visible in her eyes and voice. And he is kinda happy that Y/n have a friend like Eva.

"I know I ruined her. Bu-"

She cut him with a laugh. A real laugh like he said something funny.

"Ruined her ?" She scoffed.

"You might hurt her or break her heart but you can never ruin or destroy her. She is stronger than you think. Maybe she is an idiot to love someone like you but not weak. No one can ruin her , not even you."

He know that. He know she is strong. He know that his Y/n is stronger than anyone else.

It's silent between them for a minute.

"I need to go." She said and started walking away but stopped after taking a step.

"She doing fine without you. So please don't bother her anymore. " With that she walked away leaving him alone.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

It's been two weeks since he talked to Eva. She said Y/n is fine. He is happy to hear that, that's all he want. But he is not sure about trying to not to reach her. He actually tried to many times in all these months but never dared to directly meet her. He also went to her house many times but came back without knocking on the door. He was afraid.

Right now he is sitting in Y/n's favorite cafe. It's one of Y/n's most favorite places. They came here together once. It's a beautiful place, it's really cozy. It's have a welcoming atmosphere and ambience. The rich aroma of coffee hitting his nose and the small chattering of people making him feel better.

He sat at the very end of the cafe. With his coffee infront of him. He came here hoping that he would see her. It's not the first time, he came here many times before to see her but never did. He thought maybe she stopped coming here or he didn't catch her at right time.

He was in his thoughts when he heard the chime of the bell on the front door. He looked up as an instinct, then he saw her.

He saw Y/n coming inside of the cafe. She is beautiful as always. But definitely different, something is missing, at the same time it feels like she has something new in her.

She is wearing a high waist jeans and a red halter top. Her hair got a bit longer than the last time he saw her and she is smiling.

Oh god he missed her smile.

Seeing her here feels a bit surreal to him. He missed her like hell. He missed her smile, her voice, her touch, everything. He just want to run to her and hug her right now but he know that he can't.

He was so caught up on admiring her that he missed to see that there is a guy walking behind her. She was smiling at him, laughing at something he said.

His chest tightened, he breath hitched.

She was with someone, someone that is making her smile and laugh. Someone who is making her happy.

She looked happy.

That guy was handsome brunette and maybe a couple of inches taller than Harry. He have a sharp jawline and a charming smile. Just in a word he looked soo good. And Harry hated that.

They both sat at the far and of the cafe from Harry but he can see them clearly, he can see her smile the way she is looking at him and the way she is soo concentrated on whatever the hell he is saying.

That's the moment he understood that he lost her. He had her for soo long but he kept pushing her and now he lost her.

It felt like his world is completely crumbling right under his feet and there is nothing he can do.

She is happy, he can tell that much. And that's what he want. He made her sad and hurt her a lot and now he wish nothing but happiness to her even if it's leaving her and stepping aside and letting her go.

This is it.

With a sad smile on his face and tears rolling down his cheeks he got up from his seat and went out of the cafe without a single glance back at her.

.

Meanwhile Y/n didn't know that Harry was in the cafe watching her and left heartbroken. She was busy listening the story the guy in front of her was telling. Noah is telling her about his parents last year's wedding anniversary.

Noah, he is her colleague. He is a very nice guy, handsome and charming. He is a literall dream guy for every girl. The coffee machine in their work place is not working so they just took a break to get some coffee.

He was looking at her with that charming smile and sparkle in his eyes, and she can't help but think about what if she have someone like him in her life, who will understand her and not hurt her. But she couldn't entertain that though for a long time because the minute she think about someone Harry pops up in her brain. His emerald eyes, his beautiful smile. She is over him,yes, but it's not that easy to completely kill the love on him. It'll take time.

"The Coffee here is amazing, thank you for bringing me here, Y/n." Noah said with a sweet smile on his face.

"Your welcome, this is my favorite place. I always come here, it's just soo peaceful here." She smiled at him. She always came here, almost everyday.

He kept looking at her for a while with a smile on his face, she wonderd will he ever stop smiling. His smile is soo beautiful and pleasant it's like a beam of sunshine.

"I'm glad we could get coffee together, but I was wondering would you like to go on a date with me ? Like a real one ?" He asked her with hope in his eyes.

Y/n could feel her heart thumping, she didn't know what to say him. She wanted to go but also she is not quite ready.

"Noah, I- um... I can't. I'm sorry." She said softly.

His smile dropped, she cursed herself for that.

"I'm sorry, I like you. It's not that I don't, I do. But I can't now. "

"Oh. I thought you are single." He said after a beat.

"I am." She said in a kinda sad voice. What is she supposed to say to him? Of course she is single.

Tears are forming in her eyes threatening to fall free, but she can't cry, she won't. She got over crying for him.

It's was silent between them for a bit before Noah spoke again with a soft and gentle tone.

"Did you love him ? "

Y/n looked at his eyes, he have this expression in them that she can't quite describe. His graze was gently and comfortable. He looked at her like he know what she is feeling, he looked at her like he can understand the hurt.

She just nodded head.

He smile again." I don't know what happened or I don't know who the guy was but all I know is that he really hurt you. I can see it in your eyes."

She took a breath and tried to hold her tears, she don't even know why she is crying now. She didn't cry about him in a while, she thought there are no tears left.

"Some thing that my over priced therapy after getting my heart break taught me was 'if you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you will miss finding the one who treats you like a priority. '"

"You are an amazing person, Y/n. Just know that you are worth everything. You should be loved for who you are. Trust me when I say I that I know what you are feeling now. "

After a while they went back to work and Noah never bought up about the date again.

She couldn't help think about Harry for the rest of the day. She restrained herself from thinking about him for soo long, she almost became numb.

She hate him because she still loves him. It's soo hard not to.

He was the one who thaught her how loves feels like, even without himself realising it. He showed how beautiful it is to be loved only but he didn't.

Yes , he ignored her, pushed her but when he is with her he was there, really there for her.

He made her feel like at the top of the world. Not only while having sex, but also when they were alone. He made her feel like the most beautiful girl in the universe while he is with her only to make her feel insecure while he is with others.

That's why she hate him, he made her feel every possible feeling that a human can expirence.

And that's the reason she can't completely let him go. Maybe she is still waiting for the impossible to happen. To feel his love again, real love this time.

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

It's been two days since Harry saw Y/n in the coffee shop, and he was miserable again.

It's killing him that he lost her. To see her with someone else.

And he exactly understood how Y/n felt when she saw him with others. How hurt and hopeless she felt . At that time he didn't get it , but now he is feeling the same.

He want nothing more than going back into the time and fix everything and tell her how much he love her. But he can't.

He was in his room when he heard the door opening and closing. And after a minute his bedroom door opened and reveled his mother.

Anne came into the room and looked at his son sitting on his bed like a lifeless body. It broke her heart to see her son in that situation tears blured her vision.

"Harry." She called him.

He looked at her and he couldn't hold it back anymore. He just got up from the bed and rushed towards his mother and hugged her.

She hugged him back and ran her hand through his back in a soothing way. No matter how big and famous his become, he will always be her little boy.

"Aww, love. I'm here, I'm here. You are fine." She rubbed circle on his back.

They both were like that for a while. After he calmed down Anne made him sit on the bed and brought him some water.

She sat beside him with a hand on his.

"What happened, honey ? I knew something was wrong, I could sense it for a while. But I never thought it's this bad. Please tell me what it is ?"

He looked at his mother with his blood shot eyes. His eyes, head everything hurts.

"I fucked up, Mum."

He told Anne everything, from the beginning. How he met her, how he hurt her, and how much he love her. Everything, he didn't miss a single detail.

Anne was silent for few minutes, deciding what to tell her son. She know that he is the one who did wrong here, he messed up and hurt an innocent person.

"People don't know what they have until it's gone, but what about me , mum. I knew what I had, but I did nothing about it. I took her love for granted. What am I supposed to do now ?" He asked his mother hoping atleast she can give him a suggestion.

"Have you atleast tried to talk to her ?"

"No." He shook his head. "I'm afraid, afraid that if I go meet her she will not accept my apology and that will be the last time that I will see her."

"I think it's time that you go and talk to her." She said looking at him in the eyes.

"What?" Harry is confused.

"I think you should go and talk to her. Let her know that you feel guilty and Let her know how you really feel."

She squeezed his hand.

"You messed up, Harry. I love you, you are my son but what you did is absolutely wrong. I didn't raise you like this. If you really love her go to her tell her that you are sorry. Let her curse you, be angry at you but you deserve it, you know you deserve it."

"But what if she don't want to listen to me ?" He asked with a hint of fear in his voice.

"Beg her until she does." She said simply.

"And if she don't forgive me ?" He asked again.

"Mmm. There is a possibility for that. But atleast you will not regret later that you didn't even tried . But I hope that's not the case."

Harry looked down at his feet. His mom is right, he atleast should apologise, he has been a coward and didn't dare to meet her, but now he will.

"And Harry, I don't want to higher your expectations but if she really love you she might even give you a second chance. If she does, make sure that she won't regret trusting you again, be a better man to her."

Anne gave him a motherly smile and pushed back his curls falling on his forehead.

"Go, be a man she deserves."

*☆•°..*☆•°..*

After talking to his mother Harry immediately got into his car and drove to Y/n's place. His nerves were all over the place thinking about all the possible things that can happen.

After a long drive which felt like forever for him he is finally at her place.

He practically sprinted on the steps because he couldn't wait for the elevator and finally he reached her front door.

He took a long breath and knocked on the door and waited but there is no response. He knocked again but there is no movement.

He caught the door Knob and twisted it, the door opened. His silly girl always forgets to lock the doors.

He went inside the house and checked for her.

"Y/n ?" He called but there is no response, he went and checked her bedroom but there is no hint of her.

He returned to the living room, thinking where she might have gone.

He looked around the place again. He found her phone on the coffee table.

She left her phone back, she never leave her phone while she is going out so she might be near. And then it clicked him, he know where she is now.

He closed the door and made his way to the terrace. If she is not in home at this time she definitely will be on terrace. He know how much she like to spend time there.

He got there and looked around to find her. And then he saw her, he could see side of her face. Standing at the corner looking at the moon. Air blowing her hair in an angelic way, moon light and lights from distance made her face glow.

God she is soo beautiful.

He took few steps towards her.

"Y/n." He called her softly.

Her shoulders tensed, but she didn't turn towards him immediately. He can see her taking deep breath from the side angle.

"Love ?" He called again. Now she turned fully towards him.

He took a sharp breath and took in her appearance, she is as beautiful as ever.

"Hi, love." He said hesitantly.

"Hi." She replied without much of and emotion in her voice.

He again took a deep breath and walked two more steps towards her. Luckily she didn't step back.

"I'm getting straight into the point, I already wasted soo much of time and i dont want to any more." He said looking at, and she didn't show any sign of disagreement.

"I'm sorry , love. I really am. I'm an arsehole, a dick, a douche bag. I fucked up, big time. I hurt you. I was soo bad to you. I know , I'm sorry. I regret each and every time I hurt you and I would do anything to make it right. I have been a pussy to come and talk to you all this time. I was afraid so it took me this long." He was rambling at this point. A single tear escaped from his eye.

He took one more step forward ao there is only a little bit of distance between them and fell on his knees in front of her. He bent his head down and wiped his tears and again looked at her. She was also crying, tears are escaping her her eyes too.

"I'm sorry. Im sorry. I'm sorry." He chanted and he let out a soft sob.

"I don't deserve your forgiveness and I don't deserve your love. But god knows what I will do to get both of them again." He breathed out.

"It hurts to loose you. I don't want to loose you." He mumbled mostly to himself.

"You had me, Harry. And I was not enough for you." She talked for the first time.

It felt soo good to hear her voice again after soo long. And he loved the way his name sounded with her voice. He missed it.

"I know , baby. I know. I'm an idiot. And please, you were always enough for me, more than enough but I just couldn't gey my head out of my ass." He said.

"I don't if you are ever going to forgive me or of you are ever going to look at me the same like before. But I want to tell you, I don't want be a coward."

Cool air made them both shiver a bit.

"I love you, Y/n."

" You are my everything, I love you with every fiber in my body. You were always enough for me. I love you for yourself, you are no comparison with all those fake models I get along with. They can never be you. And you are always the most beautiful and amazing and loving person. You deserve the world. Sorry that I couldn't give it to you back then. But I will give you anything to you now if you let me." He completed.

She sucked in a breath, he said the three words that she thought that she will never hear from him.

"I shouldn't be telling you this now, you may have moved on, forgot about me and maybe.... and maybe you are with someone else too." Those words came out like poison from his mouth.

"Do you still love me, Y/n ?" He dared to ask , he actually don't want to know the answer but a part of him still hopes that she love him.

She wiped her tears and cleared her throat.

"Get up, Harry." She said with a straight face.

He got up and stood on his feet again. Because of his height he was towering a little bit over her.

"Do you really think I love someone else ?" She questioned him.

"I saw you with a guy two days back in your favorite cafe. You looked happy." He told her and looked down at their feet.

"You were there ?" She furrowed her brows.

He nodded

" He was just my friend." She said and he was relieved a bit with that information.

"You really hurt me, Harry. I hate you for that, but I also love you because... because you were the world to me. But you didn't even gave a fuck about me."

He shook his head. Please, "I'm sorry. Don't say that. It hurts." He pleaded.

"I don't know what to do. I'm afraid Harry. I'm tired. Afraid of getting hurt again and tired of feeling hurt. I don't know."

"Baby." He took her soft hand into his.

"I'm sorry. I love you. I should have said this earlier but I didn't. As I said I will do anything to get you back."

They both were silent thinking about everything.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked her.

She nodded her head.

"I can't rewind our life and go back and fix things but I want to start over everything. Let's start everything again, from the beginning. And this time I'll be a better man for you."

She looked at him on awe.

"Can we start over ? We'll become strangers again, we'll introduce each other again, we'll make fresh memories. Only if you want to. I'll leave of you want me to. But remember one thing even if I leave now I will always love you, forever and I'll be waiting for you."

She is speechless, she don't know what to say. She was supposed to be angry at him but the moment she saw him all the anger just flew away. And the minute he fell on his knees and said her that he love her , she completely lost it. Of course she still love him, of course she still want to give him a second chance, but she is afraid.

"I promise that I'll never break your heart again."

He threaded their fingers together and looked at their hands.

"Tell me, love. Will you let me be a better man for you?" He asked all the sincerity hoping she will say yes.

He is worth of a second chance. She thought.

"Yes." She breathed out and smiled.

His smiled reached his eyes for the first time in a long while.

He hugged her. Really tight to the point where she thought she might loose her breath.

"I love you. I love you. I love you." He said and kissed her forehead.

She smiled." But let's take it slow, I still need some time."

"Yes take all the time you want, we'll go as slow you prefer. Im fine with it as long as I know that I have you. Just know that I love you, and will never hurt you again. And one more thing, please get used to me saying I love you a lot. Because I'm not stopping anymore."

He took a step back. "Let's start again."

He stretched his hand out for her. Let me introduce myself. "Hi, my name is Harry."

She laughed at him, thinking about the first time they met.

"Hi, Harry. My name is Y/n."

~~~

A/n : well, well, well. Here it is as I promised. Please don't shit at me for the late. I'm not making excuses, but u know why. I'm genuinely sorry.

And , while writing this I reread the 1st part. And I found a shit ton of mistakes and typos, I myself cringed at my work. I'm sorry u guys had to read that shit. But I have my reason. 1. I wrote that whole thing on my phone and I have big thumbs. 2. I blame my autocorrect. I'm sorry, and I hope there are no lot of mistakes here..

~~~

Thank you for reading, hope you likes it.

Please like and comment and reblog.

And please please please share your thoughts and talk to me. Pretty please 🥺

[around1302]

SPARE PARTS

harry styles x female OC 18+ series

[COMPLETED]

Spare Parts has always been the five of them: Harry, Niall, Liam, Louis, and Charlie. Best friends, practically family, for the last six years. All, except, the band’s lead singers – Harry and Charlie.

Harry’s been hopelessly in love and Charlie’s been none the wiser, so he of course drops at the chance of a sneaky enemies with benefits agreement whilst embarking on their second world tour…

SERIES: here

EXTRAS: character list/face claims, tour bus, moodboards, ig stories

BLURBS: you wrote me

[instantpansies]

crowdsourcing a 200k @hellsite-hall-of-fame x perry the platypus fanfic: part 4

sorry for this one guys

as with the ship names poll, i'll be taking suggestions after this poll is over. remember that whatever you choose will be written into a fic that is, i hope, Crack Treated Seriously - you, voters, could change the course of The Fic.

[iamjustaholeforyousir]

What makes you think you're good enough

part 2 of Arrogant Son of a Bitch

summary: after some news, you mother has something to say to you, which gets you thinking of things you shouldn't.

warning: bad family situation, mention of parental abuse, slight angst? (i mean i kinda cried while writing this)

word count: 1,263

minors DNI

part1 part2 part3 part4 part5 part6 part7 part8 part9

you looked ahead and saw something you had thought you would never see. 

Your father is smiling at you. You turn to face King Styles, whose expression is identical to your father's. You were so perplexed since, often, when you return from your “prince hike", your father has a stern expression as if anticipating some sort of outcome. However, today, he appeared pleasant, content, and pleased. Harry was clenching his jaw and staring at his father as you turned to look at him. So you believed it was just you who did not get what was going on.

Harry’s eyes seem to lock onto yours, and his face changes to one of total contempt. 

“Y/n,” King Styles says, you turn your head around to see the older men looking at you, “we are pleased to welcome you to the family.” 

Then it hit you. He said yes. How? When? Why? He just told you he was in love with another princess, he was with you the whole time, and he just looked at you like you were the ugliest, most horrible thing he has ever seen, then….why? Was this a test of some kind? This was a test. This is a test. THIS IS A TEST! 

You wanted to embrace the King! You wanted to embrace the Prince! Everyone could agree that he was quite handsome, and now that you were getting married, you would eventually learn more about him.  However, at this moment, you wanted to frantically announce your impending departure to everyone. 

You gave the biggest smile you could give and said “The pleasure is all mine.” and bowed down. 

“We will finalize the date soon, I hope you have a safe journey back home.” your father said, as he went in to hug the king. 

You turned around to look at your soon to be husband, who was not looking at his feet. You couldn't see his face, so you figured it was out of shyness that he couldn't hold your gaze. 

You stepped outside with your father to deliver the two gentlemen to their carriage. 

You bowed to Prince Harry as the elder men embraced once more. You expected him to take your hand and kiss it, but he utterly disregarded you and crossed the aisle to board the carriage instead.

You were even more confused, you had no idea as to why he would do such a thing. You had seen your sisters getting proposals, even your past proposals, the princes would always depart by curtly kissing the princess’s hand. 

You stayed in your place, as you saw the carriage go out of sight. You couldn't rid your mind of the incident that had taken place just before. 

A maid arrived to your room later that evening to invite you to dinner. To avoid upsetting your father, you hurry down.  You slow down as you draw close to the dining hall. Voices could be heard coming from within. You pause and pay attention. You were always curious since you were the youngest.

 “She will need to learn feminine things.” your father’s voice says 

“y/f/n, she is already very feminine, i have taught her well, are you doubting my capabilities?” says your mother’s voice

“Well, it took her this long to find a suitor, I can see how appealing she is,” he says, sarcasm dripping from his voice. “But I am talking about the duties of a good wife.” 

You wanted to cry because your own father did not think you were appealing enough to attract a suitor. But you restrain yourself from showing any emotion and move gently inside, and as you do the exchange between your parents ends awkwardly. 

You take your designated place at the table, as you are served your food. You mother looks at you and smiles “i am so happy for you y/n, my darling daughter,” you father scoffs at this and earns a glaring look from your mother, she turns to face you once more and continues “prince Harry will take great care of you, don't you worry, he is a lovely boy.” she seems very happy when she says that, you look at her with a puzzled look, how does she even know? Because according to you, he has just been rude this entire evening, the only nice thing he has done is actually agree to marry, by secretly telling his father. 

Your mother seems to understand your confusion and says “oh! Don't you remember!? As children you both used to always meet, and be stuck together! His mother and I are great friends!”  

You have no recollection of this, absolutely none. That is when your father speaks up “ they were months old when they last met y/m/n! How is she to remember? And you were never stuck to each other.” he snorts as he says this. 

You dreaded meal time, not because of the food, you absolutely loved food, but you and to endure your parents and their constant jabbing at each other. They were never happy, always had to contradict one another for everything. As a child you remember how dreadful carriage rides used to be, with both your parents always bickering about something or the other. And as your sisters left one by one, you felt sad, and lonely, but most of all, you felt scared. Previously, your father has raised his hand on you, in order to “discipline” you when you had done something he didn't like, but you knew it was mostly because he was upset due to something your mother had said. But as you grew up, the torture came to a stop. You were a lady now, ready for marriage, and no prince would want a bruised wife. 

You quickly finished your dinner, and excused yourself from the table. You made a beeline straight to your chambers, and started writing a letter to your sisters. 

 You were at your last letter, when you heard a faint knock, you reach for the door to open them, and when you did, you see your mother standing there. 

“Y/n, i need to talk to you.” she says in a kind, yet serious tone. You give way for her to enter your room.

She sits on your bed and gestures for you to do the same. 

“y/n, you are now old enough to have this conversation, i had this with all your sisters before they got married.” she started, i figured this was the ‘duties of a good wife’ conversation, so listened intently. 

“Once you get married, it is your duty to make your husband happy, and give him whatever it is that he needs, you need to tend to him first, no matter what, and once the wedding ceremony is over, you both would want to consummate the marriage,” oh, Oh! This is what this conversation is about. “And when you do, you need to know that it might not always be pleasurable for you, but as long as your husband seems to be content with it, you know that you are being a good wife. And not just in this aspect Y/n, but in every, you always need to put his needs before yours.” 

You really did not want to have this conversation, but as it progressed, your mind wandered off, to him. You imagined how he would look, how his touch would be, what his voice would sound like so close to you. How he would feel.

A/N : if you have a family situation, similar to the one described in this part, please know that it's not okay, and that i am here for you if you ever want to talk, i know i can't do much, but i can try to make you feel better. If it doers get worse please reach out to someone who can help you better, please seek help if you are victim to any kind of abuse.

stay safe.❤️❤️

@strwbrrydaydreams @remuslupinwifee @stilesissaved @sunshinemoonsposts @mypolicemanharryyy @inlikea-coolway

[fallinglikethis]

Can You Feel Where the Wind Is

By: FallingLikeThis

Words: 3,884

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Category: M/M

Fandom: One Direction (Band)

Relationship: Zayn Malik/Liam Payne

Characters: Liam Payne, Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson (mentioned)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, political figures, Assassination Attempt(s), Flashbacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, mentions of mass panic, Trauma, Being afraid, Crying, Nightmares, Panic, Eavesdropping, It's kind of accidental, Angst, Kind of Forbidden Love, pushing people away, dealing with things by not dealing with them, Numbness, Hidden Feelings, No Smut, american au

Summary:

It had been a normal day, just like any other. He’d been doing a PR tour for his father’s election campaign, making appearances in marginalized communities to let them know that his father saw them, would work for them if elected. He’d always maintained that his father would make a bigger impact by showing up himself, proving that he meant to keep his promises and was not just sending his son to give lip service. Liam’s advice had fallen on deaf ears, but then it’s not like Liam had listened to his father’s advice either. Liam still remembers the argument, still remembers the feelings of stubborn exasperation and eventual grudging acceptance, when his father had insisted that Liam needed a security detail while out doing his father’s bidding. He remembers arguing that he had no real power over anything, so no one would care about him, let alone try to hurt him. But that assessment had proven to be untrue today.

Written for @zaynsalbumsficfest