#9 year old me was reading this and going INSANE

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

The first several chapters of The Two Towers are a truly unparalleled reading experience. Boromir's funeral. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli running for three days straight. Tolkien going off about the eldritch nature of ancient forests. Merry and Pippin Whump Adventure Extraordinaire. Stupendous, Outstanding, 10/10.

[ifyoucandaniel]

exactly one person asked and i’ve been DYING to make this, so here are all of my favorite long batman fanfics in general and for new readers @twisted-tales-told :)

cards on the table by @wesslan ! 69k, completed. this is one of my all time favorite fanfictions, it’s so funny and tim is a mastermind genius and a little liar <3 he basically pretends to be a fortune teller and gives scarily good predictions and advice by stalking the upper class and eventually gets involved with the batfam and has to maintain his lies while dealing with his issues :) 10/10, very found family, good angst, so much lying

Dark Matter by @mysterycyclone , 221k, ongoing. this is a batman fanfic rec, of course my bbg dark matter is going to be here <3 this is a MCUxDCU crossover where after infinity war (spoilers for that if you haven’t seen it!) peter parker gets sent to the DCU dimension with part of the soul stone and basically is haunted by the ghosts of the avengers while trying to survive in gotham and get back to his dimension. this is so well written i’ve read it at least three times, it’s still ongoing but trust me it is SO GOOD. i can’t properly describe it, but if you like spider-man and you are interested in batman, you’ll love.

Red is the Color of Sinners by @bluelotuswrites , series, 120k, ongoing, M. i want you to look me in my eyes when i tell you this is my favorite series on ao3. it is set after under the red hood and daredevil 3 where jason and matt meet in a church after jason loses his ability to speak following the events of UTRH. they keep running into each other both as matt and daredevil and eventually jason begins helping matt out with injuries and tech. it’s not finished yet, but there is something so compelling about their dynamic in this series as well as jason’s overall character and how he is portrayed. i’m a sucker for mute jason after UTRH and this series does so well giving him a fresh start and a place away from gotham to heal and build relationships. i cannot recommend enough.

buy back the secrets by @vinelark , 71k, ongoing, T. THIS!!! oh my god, so this is a timkon fic where kon still doesn’t know tim’s civilian identity, but whenever he’s in trouble tim calls for superboy which leads to them meeting without kon knowing. shenanigans ensure when kon starts spending more time with tim! it’s still ongoing but the author is currently working on the next part and it is so so worth the wait. chapter 4 ends on a cliffhanger though so be warned :))

Sales People Know (listening is the most important part) by Mayhem10, 77k, completed, T. this has the coolest urban magical realism ever. tim basically runs this magic shop that shows up places and people who need something find it in his shop :) it’s kinda a slow burn found family fic with magic themes and a smidge of angst!

Retrograde Motion by Lysical, 112k, completed, T. this is best de-aged kid fic ever. jason gets turned into a 7 year old and basically the outlaws, artemis and biz, join forces with the batfam to take care of him. but trust me when i say this is worth your time, it might sound tropey but in the best way possible!! and jason’s relationship with artemis is sooo important to me in this!

Hand in Unloveable Hand (a chokehold) by britishparty, 54k, completed, M. this is one of the best psychological torture/grooming fics i’ve ever read. pretty much what if while our taking photos of batman and robin, little tim gets kidnapped and black mask gets his hands on him and decides he’s the perfect size for a protege. years of psychological abuse and insane mind games ensue. also tim is a Badass™️

If He Had Come by bronwe_iris, 45k, completed, T. so i’m a little freak and i love the angst of arkham knight jason, but more specifically the aus where bruce saves jason before he becomes the arkham knight! this is an au where bruce finds jason and saves him from the joker after 9 months of torture and brings him home. focuses on his healing mentally and physically and rebuilding his relationship with his family

Banshee in a Well by liverobinreaction (bugbee), 43k, completed, T. veeeery good angst. basically what if tim couldn’t die? 43k of tim drake whump where he just dies a bajillion times and eventually his family notices <3

The Birds: Hatching a Family by Oceanera12, 81k, completed, T. this is like “what if the batkids weren’t adopted by bruce, but instead they were all foster siblings who can’t seem to stay out of gotham at night and batman happens to find them and decides obviously he can’t leave these kids to their own business, he has to stick his nose in it” and there’s some angst and heaps of found family

The Hellblazer’s Apprentice by @bluelotuswrites, 29k, ongoing, M. what can i say, im a simple woman, i love to see jason with literally any older male mentor :) basically in UTRH what if he took up an apprenticeship under constantine to learn magic to piss off batman! so good, i really love constantine so seeing him and jason interact in a long fic is so good. also ALL BLADES JASON TODD SAVE ME… ALL BLADES JASON TODD-

something in the static by bonerot19, 101k, ongoing series with three main completed works, T. this is a jason centric series where jason still lives in crime alley with his mom and dad and never stole the batmobile tires. it follows his life in crime alley with an addict mom and an abusive dad and one night when his dad is whaling on him nightwing finds him and the bats just can’t seem to leave him alone after that. steph is his neighbor and best friend also and their relationship is so good. this is a “what if jason took a different way home to the wayne’s” fic series and i love it so much <3

catch the asteroids that come your way by ThePackWantsTheD, 54k, completed, T. i don’t read a lot of ships in the batman fandom i’m sorry, but this kyle/jason one is sooo lovely. basically the two of them growing up together and falling in love and then dealing with the aftermath of A Death in the Family and finding each other again :) really sweet and nice!

hope you find something you like! i realized the majority of these are tim or jason centric, and i love them all dearly, but if anyone has any recs for long fics focusing on any of the other batkids lmk! and any other recs in general, i am a fiend for new fics

[jamieontheroof]

Random things I noticed while playing What Remains Of Edith Finch

There was a poster of the cannery that Lewis worked at on the boat.

2. Edith Jr wears what appears to be an engagement on a necklace. Whether this is her ring or her mothers is not mentioned.

3. At the start of the game, Milton's missing posters are EVERYWHERE. There is even a giant pile of them in a nearby lake.

4. The dragon slide that crushed and killed Sven is still outside.

5. As you walk toward the house, the music gets louder.

6. The swing that Calvin flew off decades ago is still looped around the branch.

7. There was a spare peep hole in the garage that didn't have any names or dates on it.

8. At multiple points throughout the game you can hear a train in the background, despite the fact that the train tracks are clearly destroyed.

9. There are multiple pots throughout the Finch house that looks like they have eyes.

10. One of the books the Finches possessed was 'King in Yellow', a book known for making anyone who read it insane.

11. The house sounds alive, or like there are people constantly moving around it.

12. Walters bedroom is painted with both ocean and train designs. One of the paintings is the old house that Odin tried to bring to America.

13. There are drag marks on the ground of Walters bedroom (most likely made when his drawers were taken out of his room.)

14. The entrance to the tunnels is hidden by a book called 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, a classic sci-fi story about a sea monster.

15. Molly's room is filled entirely with animal books.

16. There is a jelly fish on Molly's bed (possible connection to the monster??).

17. Molly has a chalkboard in her bedroom where she is a princess in an underwater castle and Sven is about to get attacked by a sea monster (slightly resembling the dragon slide).

18. As shark!Molly starts falling down the cliff, she passes a road where headlights are briefly scene.

19. When the monster gets back to Molly's room, the window that cat!Molly jumped through is still open.

20. There are still Christmas decorations in Molly's room.

21. The curse is 500 years old. That is a lot of dead people.

22. In Odin's viewfinder, it states "His [Odin's] daughter, Edie, is already dreaming of new Finch house" showing that even though her own father died not even a week ago, Edie has already moved on.

23. The house is filled head to toe with books about death, including two that Odin wrote.

24. Sven's shrine does not have a log painting like the rest of the family. His portrait is painted on a simple canvas.

25. Edie has a number of strange tapes in her room including one titled "conspiracy now".

26. The toys from Gregory's final bath are still in the bathroom.

27. There is an old bottle of alcohol in the bathroom bin.

28. A lot of Sam's photos are based on Calvin (a swing, astronauts).

29. All of Milton's drawings are based on the death. (Molly = cat, Barbara = pumpkin)

30. There are cigarettes and gin on Sam's side of the room he shared with Calvin.

31. Calvin already had bruises, Band-Aids and a cast on his leg when he died.

32. Sam blames himself for challenging Calvin.

33. In the story, Calvin doesn't fall. He keeps flying.

34. Barbara's birthday cake is still in her room.

35. Barbara is holding crutches in her portrait.

36. There are totem-esc styles statues of both Calvin and Molly

37. Barbara's outfit is over the railing.

This is the same way the Hook-Man falls

38. "Performance of her life" can also mean that it is the performance she is known for.

39. There are spare portrait logs in the basement.

40. There is a fake window in the basement.

41. Edie's grave is finished despite her dying and then nobody else going to the house.

42. There is no grave for Milton.

43. Lewis' grave has a crown on it.

44. There are times wear it seems like you can hear sobbing (this one may just be me).

45. There is a box of Kay's old stuff in Sam's bedroom.

46. Odin has a park named after him.

47. This isn't a fact but I think this may be one of the funniest photos of the game (LIKE SIR? YOUR DAUGHTER IS SOBBING!).

48. Both Calvin and Dawn are on Sam's shrine.

49. Gus has a skateboard over his name.

50. Gregory has the soap bottle from his final bath in his shrine.

51. The music cuts out when Gregory isn't moving.

52. Same also blames himself for Gregory.

53. Gus never met his step mother.

54. Gus was crushed by the (totem) statues of his deceased relatives.

55. Dawn's light switch is the only one on

56. Most of the rules are about past deaths. (No playing outside without permission : Calvin, No answering door for strangers : Barbara, No messes after dark : Molly (???)).

57. Milton's garden has a castle (reference to the Unfinished Swan)

58. There is a small Sanjay shrine in the classroom

59. Edith JR did an assignment on her family history.

60. Lewis drew on his desk.

61. There is no death date for Milton on his peephole.

62. Edith JR wrote Milton's death date as 2003 (the year he disappeared).

63. The door from the flip book is in Milton's room.

64. Lewis' dream Palace is decorated with fish.

65. The gnomes scattered around the house are outside the original house in Edie's story.

66. The credits roll in reverse order.

AND THAT'S IT!! I had a few others I thought didn't need to go in.

[harmoniouseclipse]

Woe fankids be upon ye

Doing a little series where I took some ship requests on my instagram to make them fankids, this one is for me tho (jeanlisa to kick it off whoo 🙌🏻) The lineup so far is Cytham, Kavetham, Lionfish (aka Freminet x Gaming aged up probably idk how old they are canonically), Cynonari, Jealuc, and Beiguang, and feel free to send me some other pairings you wanna see (as long as they are legal pls otherwise I will ignore it 👎)

I'm gonna ramble about some headcanons and lore for them under the cut, continue with caution bc I'm insane

These two are my brainrot rn, don't even joke lad. And I wanna tell yall their name meanings too bc I like them a lot 🥹 Zephra's means "west wind" derived from Greek, and it's the feminine version of Zephyr. Tyrian was a type of purple dye used by the Ancient Phoenicians, huge huge HUGE thanks to my pookie bear @miothefish for helping me out with his name!!! Also he has Lisa's butterfly earring and you can't see bc of the angle but Zephra has the rose that went in her hair holding her ponytail <3

I'm also making a massive family tree for the characters as a go along, and just the jeanlisa tree is taking up half of the canvas bc of the KoF and Sumeru characters since Cyno is their uncle and the rest of the gang are their honorary uncles 😭 I'll be posting that once the series is done/all the requests are finished/I run out of ships and otps I enjoy

Here's an alternative version with some more info on most of the characters I wanted to briefly mention in their relation to them; Tyrian likes calling Eula his aunt too even though she was never really considered one for them so it's kind of like her unofficial title she pretends to dislike but she loves it and dotes on Tyrian 🤭 She and Diluc also helped train Zephra with a claymore and Diluc kind of became a parental figure to her in her teen years after Lisa's passing 🥺 She also feels like she's outshined by Jean and that she's not smart or powerful enough to follow in Lisa's footsteps (something that Lisa wouldn't want anyways bc it led her to her death 😔) rip zephra she's just like me fr

And yeah some Kaeya angst bc he's still going thru it I fear, and Jean is single mombossing but she's worried for zephra which me too dawg, im afraid to say she might be cooked 😦 Zephra is also kind of like a weird mix of Lisa when she was her age and Jean, where overall she's well-mannered and kind but she can be competitive and feel the need to push herself too much and pull a few strings to get what she wants from time to time. Tyrian is a ray of sunshine tho, he has not yet witnessed the horrors 💔 I do think that Jean is also a lot easier on him than her mom was with her so that also helps. He's very shy tho and wants to stick with Zephra or Razor most of the time, and they both have some nasty tan lines from going out with Razor and Klee and Fischl a lot 😔 Cyno also freaking loves them and dotes on them and Tyrian is getting a TCG addiction because of it smh, Cyno is also one of Zephra's favorite people and when she's in Sumeru she stays with him and Alhaitham (bc in my universe they are married ough I love cytham)

And (I think?) Klee physically and mentally ages slower than humans so I think she'd be technically 9 or 10, and Zephra is left with babysitting duty most of the time if she's home on break or smth 😭 Klee really looks up to her tho

Also, I wrote Tyrian's last bullet point like he was super young when Lisa died, but I think he was around 7 so he actually remembers Lisa better than I intended it to sound, he was just younger than Zephra (who was 11 at the time) and just didn't have as much time with her as Zeph did, but his most fond memory of Lisa was reading with her and she probably taught them some potion-making skills too.

I think there will be some abyss angst in here too at some point, since I hc Lisa to be probably an Abyss Lector/Harold (I forget which is which) um so thinking that Zeph and Tyrian experiencing some not normal things happening and Jean doesn't know what to do since Lisa also didn't really know what that dog in her was until it was too late 😔 That's what Kaeya's for tho since he's like the heir of the abyss???? Go off king. Also some touchy ragbros angst bc Kaeya is scared for Zeph knowing how close she is with Luc and he doesn't want him to push her away because of her being from the abyss or smth (they mostly made up but it's still a fear in Kaeya's mind both for him and Jean's kids)

I think that's all I wanted to touch on for now?? Mainly just thinking about domestic fluff and angst all the time now 🥺 Zeph not being able to be open with Jean bc she feels like a disappointment but Jean would literally actually die for her and shes proud of her no matter what ough im going to lose my freak dawg guess who my favorite fankid is it's super hard ik

Send me asks or dms or whatever for more ship requests!!! I'm having so much fun with this dawg 🫶🏻

[rosencrantzsguildenstern]

Viola is a gifted soccer player who's school has just cut girl's sports. When her twin brother Sebastian decides to go to London to chase a gig, Viola decides to enroll in his new school as her brother. "His" roommate Duke is both a complete hottie and the captain of the soccer team. In order to score a place on the team "Sebastian" agrees to help Duke get with his crush Olivia. However Olivia is totally gone for "Sebastian"! Shenanigans ensue as the difference between girls and guys in both love and sports is explored.

This is a hilarious and irreverent take on Twelfth Night starring Amanda Bynes and Channing Tatum. It's incredibly quotable, tons of fun, and a great modern adaptation.

Shirtless Channing Tatum. Positive messages about masculinity! Very quotable. Random acting part for Vinnie Jones. Amanda Bynes at her comedy peak! The shoehorning in of a Shakespeare quote at the end from a play that isn't twelfth night! Peak 2000s romcom

A high school take on the Malvolio Gulling subplot. Sixteen-year-old Marshall Gardner is 1) straight-laced, 2) exacting, 3) judgemental, and 4) perfectionistic. And below the surface, kept hidden from the rest of the world, he’s 5) controlled by his obsessions and compulsions, 6) fixated on the number twelve, 7) hopelessly in love with his best (only) friend, and 8) horrendously imperfect. He’s also 9) universally disliked, 10) the self-made enemy of the former GSA president, 11) just a little too easy to trick, and 12) in trouble.

This book is sooooo fucking good it’s my comfort read!!! Max asks the brave brave question of what if twelfth night was about a high schooler who i want to squeeze like a stress ball and it makes me feel insane. 12/10 book of all fucking time please read it

THIS STORY FUCKS. extremely hard. i read it before i even read twelfth night and let me tell you it works just as well as a stand-alone story as a retelling. it uses the subplot of twelfth night revolving around the servants (which deserves more attention, as a side note) to explore gender and neurodivergence and the inherent horror of being sixteen and it executes every theme extremely well. if you have maybe half an hour to spare honestly sit down and read the whole thing right now. it's so good. sir toby is a lesbian. what more could you want

read the whole thing here

[dreamstar-moonlight]

Hey! I was wondering where I can find that drive for CaffeinatedFlumadiddle fics? I've been looking for a fic for about a year now and thought I was going insane, I just learned about the situation, it's so awful.

Hey anon!!!

First off, I'm SOOOOOO EXTREMELY SORRY for replying to this so ABSURDLY late -

I never imagined someone would send in an ask - to me, of all people! Because I've only ever seen Important People on Tumblr being sent asks, and I'm definitely not one of them!

So, uh - I actually made a detailed post with all the links to the now deleted fics, which you can find here,

But in case Tumblr messes up, and the link doesn't work, lemme copy-paste the contents of that post below:

1) Son of Sea Foam, originally published on Ao3

SoSF Google Doc Part 1 | Part 2

SoSF in pdf format

2) Descendants of Olympus, originally published on Ao3

DoD Google Doc Part 1 | Part 2

3) Highway To Hell (fic)

4) Hello Ocean, My Old Friend (fic)

5) Fishing in Alaska (epub) | archived Ao3 site

6) Stealing Shells (fic)

7) Google Drive folder of a bunch of fics and one-shots | 

8) Another mini-google-drive backup of a few fics 

9) Even more fics (there’s 70 of them here)

10) Almost all PJO and Merlin fics in epub format! Estelle series has series order in metadata.

To read epubs, good apps are Moon+ reader for Android and Calibre for PC. epub is a reflowable format that allows changing the font size, background, margins etc, and has title/author/series into embedded and sortable. 

11) Roman Percy | V2

12) A bunch of archived Tumblr posts

13) The entire tumblr (but on the archive website)

14) OneDrive link to download PJO & Merlin fics. 

Once again, my HEARTFELT APOLOGIES for not seeing this sooner!

Edit: @cmxlkaze brought it to my notice that the link to “Descendants of Olympus” Part 2 had been broken It's fixed now, though it took me a bit – sorry about that! If any of the other links get taken down or appear broken, do let me know, and I shall fix them immediately.

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 41

chapter 62:

1. petition to abolish the games, if not for their lack of morals, do it for james potter

2. regulus fussing over james >>>>>>>>>>>

3. 😳 fiancé discussion

4. “There's a war on, and James wants to plan his wedding.” oh no. oh no. oh no. he’s so me fr

5. omg not reg wanting to see sirius and projecting that onto james 😭😭😭

6. they’re having a sleepover and i’m going feral over it

7. i’m not really mad at alice for all they’re saying, but i don’t think james deserves to hear it like this, or even be treated this way over frank’s death. they all knew the risk. frank made a decision, knowing the risk. james should not have to feel that eternal guilt

8. okay i’m kinda mad at alice, but i don’t really blame her per se. she’s grieving and is saying hurtful things she might not otherwise say. but it doesn’t make what she said okay. this is all so complicated

9. wolfstar deserves peace. give them peace istg. sirius doesn’t deserve these nightmares

10. *untraumatizes your blorbo* FUCK IT BACKFIRED! HE HAS MORE TRAUMA NOW

11. “"Fucking hell," Sirius hisses, clattering into the open chair next to Remus with an aggrieved air to him, eyes bulging as he drops his plate on the table. "I just had three different people corner me in the line to fucking flirt with me. Nevermind that I'm less than two weeks out of fucking Azkaban or anything, and when I mentioned that, they started, like, cooing at me. One of them offered to give me fucking sponge bath."

"What?" Remus' head whips around. "Who?"”

yo, those people should be scared. remus is in protective mode

12. the reason tension is so fucking high in the phoenix is probably because there are no fucking celebrations or events

13. i love how the gang is together, laughing and joking 😊😊

14. remus is a genius and i love him for putting the peices together about vanity and vespa

15. going insane over vanity’s impact in winning

chapter 63:

1. the districts are immune!!!

2. dorlene having sex after a mission is so them

3. “”I want to die with your head between my legs."” REAL

4. i am unamused 😐 dorcas and marlene should Not be discussing their after-war plans and what they’ll be doing when they’re old

5. “Two bodies and one heart” used to describe lily and remus has me in PIECES

6. mary and lily getting to have sex (that actually means something to lily) >>>>>>>>>>

7. also i’m so glad that sapphic sex was written to be that soft, intimate, and beautiful. especially with a trans woman. i feel like i never see sex scenes with trans women that aren’t completely fetishized

8. reading a jegulus fight has me feeling like an eight year old that walked in on mommy and daddy yelling over finances

9. 😭😭😭😭 not barty further spreading rumors about him being james and reg’s whores. this is so funny y’all

10. also not james teasing reg about having baby names picked out, only to reveal that reg literally has baby names picked out

11. demisexual sirius having a complex relationship with sex and desire (all the asexual part and all the very very horny parts) is literally my favorite thing in the world. i have never seen an demisexual character so similar to myself as him.

12. 😭😭 not remus cumming in his pants just cause he was slammed into a wall lmao

[deadal3x]

Dionysus and/or Dionysus kids headcanons? If you do that, but it’s worth a shot:)

YES I LOVE DOING THIS, I HAVE SO MANY. thank you sooo much for this question dez!

okay so, Dionysus definitely cares about the campers and the camp itself.

It shows when he heals Chris Rodriguez from the bout of insanity, it shows when he grieves for Castor and asks Percy to look after Pollux.

I like to think his kids also care like that

they care so deeply for their close friends and family that it hurts sometimes

Dionysus can't show it normally anymore because he's seen so many hopeful kids get their spirits crushed.

he's also seen them die. countless times.

if gods could dream, Dionysus would be plagued with haunting nightmares.

Dionysus kids are really good with plants, but not as good as Persephone or Demeter kids

They're also the type of people who say "I listen to anything!" for music and they mean it.

They have the best outfits. Sorry, cabin 7, but their fits slay, hardcore.

that being said, Specifically Pollux has TERRIBLE style.

My OC Grayson's style is definitely also bad, he dresses similarly to his father (oof)

Dionysus leaves shirts and stuff in the cabin and somehow his kids are stealing them and wearing them better than him

He doesn't know where they get the style from

The cabin has all the best quality "Slime tutorials" of your favorite musicals. You do have to take some chores off their camp chore list to get the footage though.

can and will rant to you about Gender being a social construct while wearing clothes typically associated with the opposite gender

Grayson is genderfluid, and so while he definitely prefers masc terms and whatnot there are days he goes all out with dresses and skirts and he literally slays

Castor will definitely go all out with a skirt, but dresses are a different story.

Dionysus secretly encourages his kids to break the gender normality.

Dionysus is definitely also a hands on dad, He tries so hard to be there for his kiddos before they reach camp age

in my story, the twins are at camp as early as 9 years old, simply for two reason- hella powerful and bonding time with Grayson

but, Dio was there, giving the twins mother (I've named her Marryane Moncharm) any help she needed.

for Grayson it's a different story, so you'll have to read the story to see

but I digress

At camp, he's attentive with his children, listening to their issues, giving advice if they want it and a distraction if they need it.

He will, however, tell his children that silly drama is below him before helping.

Dionysus has a secret obsession with dad jokes

think Patton from sander sides, but way more disgruntled and gruff than typical.

Dionysus has made Zeus tell a dad joke without realizing it, and to this day, it is his best achievement ever.

Has a shirt that says "Dad jokes? I think you mean Rad Jokes." and will wear it unironically.

as for his actual cabin and how I picture it.... that's a whole different set of headcanons.

I've previously said I think the cabins got a major upgrade at the end of the titan war thanks to annabeth, I believe.

prior to that, Cabin twelve feels the most homely.

there's no big harsh lighting. only soft warm lighting.

the beds have the best bedding ever, like it's so cozy

lots of theatre memorabilia hanging up

uh, like that one guy from only murderers in the building, I forget his name but he had theatre stuff all over his apartment- like it was a lot

also, Dionysus definitely has like, his item of power hung on the wall in there because he Does Not Care™ and the only rule is no touching the insanely powerful pinecone stick (Thyrsus)

Cabin 12 to me is the physical embodiment of Noah Kahan's music if that makes sense.

there's a bunch of headcanons for you friend! I hope you enjoyed them!

[sadvid]

camp camp makes me insane ramble. do not click more unless you are so so very insane

camp camp is gonna make me go fucking insane i can't fucking do this anymore there is NOTHING!!!!!! NOTHING!!!! ALL THEY DID WAS GIVE US TINY PISS DRRROPLETS WITH ONE EPISODE FINALE SAYING MAXS PARENTS DONT CARE AND DAVID SAYING YOU DONT DESERVE THAT AND NOW IVE BEEN IN THE TRENCHES FOR YEAAAARSSS. i have read fics with over 100k words i have drawn so many things and imagined so many scenarios with angst and hurt/comfort and stupid stupid thoughts that would never ever happen in the show in a million years HIS ASS IS NOT GETTING ADOPTED DADVID IS NOT REAL GWENVID IS A SICK JOKE i love them so much you don't understand. i forgot to take my meds. oh my goddddd. THERE ARE LIKE THREE CAMP CAMP FANS LEFT BECAUSE THE REST WERE NORMAL PEOPLE WHO JUST WATCH THE SILLY CAMP CARTOON THAT SAYS FUCK. they dont wonder about the possibilities of a sad ten year old rejecting happiness but slowly allowing himself to be vulnerable and loved by a counselor who is surrounded by hate and despondency but stays positive despite despite despite because nobody else will and he wants to be the source of happiness that he wish someone was for him. NO! they say HAHA the ten year old said fuck! oh my god the non swearing counselor said fuck too that's so profound! oh no the ten year olds parents bad :( HAHA NOW HES BALD!!!! and after a month of the show being gone they LEAVE because they're NORNAL!!!!! but i. I AM IN THE TRENCHESSSSS. you have no idea you have no idea. listen maybe i'm just a little insane because i am a max who needs a david JUST MAYBE! and i think this is just a lot of me projecting my desperate need for love and my simultaneous rejection and fear of it onto max. And my need for someone to keep persistently and loudly loving me no matter how much i reject it. PROBABLY!!!!! i don't care i don't care how fucking insane i sound I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY I COULD talk about this show for hours i wish i didn't have job or school or life so i could write and anímate camp camp season 6 7 8 9 10 infinity and kill the warner brothers and write 500k word ao3 fics. IM INSANE. i am picking up crumbs and calling it a wedding cake do you understand. god i'm i i i i i i i i it's 2024 it's been too long too many years of this.... too many got damned years. every time i pick up a pencil i draw max camp camp. i have drawn david's stupid fucking face so many times its probably become the shape of my brain wrinkles. i go feral thinking about gwen's hair looks like down or what the fuck these characters last names are. Can you fucking believe i hyper fixated on a character whose last name i dont even know. hey who's that small angry fucker you're always doodling. uhh max. max who. max... camp camp. WHO?!!! DAVID?!!? DAVID ATTENBOROUGH?!?! MAX CAULFIELD?! i'm going to set myself on fire. i really truly am. i love them i live for nothing but a ghost child on an island and a silly friend trio. when will it end. when. i love them if you couldn't tell

[eddiediazismyhusband]

One Fan’s Thoughts on 9-1-1 Season 7

(fair warning this is about to be a long ass rant post so buckle up; if you, like me, get anxiety over speculation and discussion of the show, this may not be the post for you to read… but i need to get my thoughts out there because i have kept them bottled up for so long that it is taking a mental toll on me.)

there’s something so gutwrenching about laying awake in bed thinking about how you have been the closest you’ve ever been to actually seeing a queer ship you’ve stuck with for six years actually going canon just to be hit with an immensely overwhelming sense of doubt because every time the story presents a natural path to develop in that direction, the writers completely veer off in an insanely different direction despite constantly trying to push this narrative of “if it goes there naturally” while ignoring the plethora of times it already has gone there naturally but has been passed over for some insanely far-fetched plotline that contradicts points that have been set up in the past…

i’m not trying to put a dampner on things or worry anyone, and like i mentioned in my previous post i am NOT closing on buddie, but i still can’t help but feel cinical and pessimistic about it when it feels like Tim is just blatantly baiting us at this point. Like at times it doesn’t even feel like he’s actually open to exploring buddie when he is constantly retconning his own storylines from previous seasons, and making excuses every time he deliberately chooses to ignore the countless number of chances that crop up in the story, instead deciding that because he wants to redo hitchcock he’s going to rewrite the history he created in order to fit a convoluted plotline that borders on farse just to a) not give fans what they have been begging for for years, b) shoehorn in his vertigo fanfiction, c) stir up drama rather than actually giving us something pointing in a positive direction to combat the 5000 other depressing plotlines he’s trying to cram into a 10 episode season.

i really thought tim was going to bring back the old vibe we had before KR took over and messed things up, but so far this season has felt like a jam-packed rushed mess that resembles a middle schooler’s first forray into a wattpad angst fic, and it’s disheartening to have sat with the show since the first season just to see it fall off so hard w s6 b, only to rebuild hope that things might go back to normal w s7, just for it to spiral even further into jump-the-shark territory.

And this is not just about buddie. There have been numerous times this season that have just been recycled plot points from previous seasons rather than something new and fresh, simply for the sake of melodrama. Old plotlines that had been seemingly finished are being rehashed and recontextualized out of nowhere, characters are getting entire traits and development completely rewritten and replaced with something almost unrecognizable to newer fans, there has been very little positivity within the narrative to allow us to breathe between traumatic moments, and the few positive moments we have received have been lukewarm at best, and have done nothing but cause derision and hate to be spread throughout the fandom.

PR for this season has been a mess. At times it feels like Oliver Stark is the only actor who exists on the show, and that Buck is somehow the titular character— not that Buck’s coming out storyline is not important, it absolutely is, but the entire season should not be focused solely on him just because of a two episode arc that honestly didn’t tell us anything new about him besides canonically confirming what we’ve known to be true since the second season.

We have cast members stirring up drama by indulging fans through paid video responses, and cast members on live getting asked to weigh in on fandom drama that they honestly have no reason to be involved in. We have news outlets constantly being approved by the PR team to ask questions about a popular ship to bait viewers into watching the show when there has not been any concrete evidence either way of whether or not they actually plan to go there, dragging things out for another season when they have no confirmation yet in whether or not they will get a 9th season (and if they do, probably coming up with some other bullshit reason to drag things out), confirming that certain plot points were planned to happen in the past but for some reason now they are like “but that’s not what we’re doing anymore so you have to live with present and be happy with what you get.”

There is no reason why 6 years can’t be a long enough time for a slow burn. There is no reason for characters to be given increasingly convoluted arcs that callback to plotlines that have been otherwise nonexistent for years at this point. There is no reason to drag fans of a ship along just because you’re too scared to lose they’re viewership rather than just flat out saying “no we aren’t ever going to do it” or actually committing to it one of the hundreds of times the story opens a path to it.

No, the choices made this season were not “the only way” we could have been given the same dramatic beats. The choices made have not been some sort of end all be all to the story with no other possible outcome. Tim did not need to send the show off the rails the way he has just because he wants drama. Yes it’s a drama show, but there also need to be moments to breathe. Yes it’s a drama show, but that doesn’t mean you can’t let characters be happy. Yes it’s a drama show, but that doesnt mean you have to fuck up the narrative every time it starts going in the direction of something the fans have begged for for years just because you don’t want to give it to them.

It’s disappointing to see how careless they are being with things this season when previous seasons the actors and writers have been so cautious about what was said about buddie. now we have every interview mentioning buddie in some way, yet we only get told “idk 🤷” and see nothing concrete in the story to firmly hint one way or the other. It’s disappointing when you start feeling like you are being dragged along because a corporation knows that ship baiting won’t ever actually backfire/have a negative affect on them, so it ends up being a lose-lose situation for the fandom.

Maybe it’s because I have been burned too msny times by TV shows in the past, but nothing about this season or the PR surrounding it has given me faith that Tim or the writers actually care about anything other than viewership. Otherwise we would be seeing clear signs of the growing seeds of buddie, but so far all we’ve seen is the same framing choices that we’ve seen in every other season that are being made to deliberately keep buddie fans drawn in and theorizing when the writers have most likely already thrown out any plans that there might have ever been for buddie to go canon.

Mostly, I am disappointed in the fact that Oliver has been so heavily involved in pushing buddie speculation after being so careful to not lead people on in the past- i know that some believe that this was a sign that buddie is coming and he knows it is, but as the season draws to a close it feels more like he is just showing where his loyalty lies even though he knows the show isn’t going to take it there. I am not blaming oliver for buddie not going canon or trying to insinuate that he is queerbaiting in any way, but i can’t help but feel like i wouldn’t be so dejected about the way this season is going if he hadn’t started interacting with and sharing buddie content before any sort of confirmation was given.

now do not get me wrong i absolutely ADORE oliver and i am not in any way trying to attack him or speak against him in any way, I am simply saying that his sudden vocal support and campaigning for buddie is only going to add on to my disappointment in heaps if they don’t make buddie canon, especially after JLH said Tim made Madney happen bc she asked for it, but he still hasn’t made any sort of definitive move towards buddie after the same amount of time.

and lastly my disappointment also lies with the fact that ryan’s acting ability has been wasted on this crackfic plot… ryan is one of the most underutilized dramatic actors on the show, and the fact that the only serious arc he has gottne this season isn’t even that serious because of how out of character and preposterous it is is really disappointing. ryan deserves better, and eddie deserves better, and it is disappointing seeing him acting his entire heart and sole out in a plotline that makes his character out to be the bad guy in the situation when this is something eddie would never do under normal circumstances. Ryan’s talent has once again only been used to show trauma and this time it wasn’t even trauma that feels natural within the story, and especially after his recent interview it disappoints me that we are once again reiterating that eddie is somehow mentally unstable enough to have an emotional affair with a woman he knows nothing about just because she looks like shannon. Eddie has simultaneously had so much yet so little development, and seeing some of the theories of where his character is going in the context of ryan saying s8 will be a “reset” for eddie doesn’t fill me with excitement over where his story is going and actually makes me worried that we are going to see regression rather than progress for the sake of drama… i just don’t want to see eddie’s character revamped to a point where he has lost all of his development from the past 6 seasons just because Tim wanted to turn eddie’s plotline into a melodramatic telenovela.

Anyway, sorry for the rant— maybe it’s the stuff that’s going on in my personal life combined with the fear of getting played by yet another network tv show ship baiting that’s making me feel this way, but this season has left me feeling so pessimistic and cynical about the show as a whole, but mostly about buddie and it hurts. I love both of these characters dearly, and i want them to finally understand that everything they’ve ever needed in life they have in each other, but it feels like ever time we are on the verge, another wild card is played and it’s getting old atp.

i don’t say any of this to cause an argument. i don’t say any of this to poke and prod at people. i say this as someone who has loved this show and given it 7 years of my life who feels like my experience as a fan is being shat on in favor of melodrama rather than thoughtful storytelling… not to say there haven’t been really good moments this season, but overall, it has really soured things for me the way Tim has handled/taken the narrative in many ways, and I don’t know if I will be able to watch season 8 until i see concrete evidence that things will be better. i am not kidding when i say this takes the spot as my least favorite season after season 6, regardless of if we get any hope or not next ep… and that is what upsets me.

[izubabes]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!! I just read your Koko x Inui!Reader work and it's a ✨masterpiece✨ Am I crying? Yes. Am I still in love with this psycho Koko? Definitely. Why? Don't know. But am I in love with your work? Absolutely!!!!!

If it's possible, may I please request Koko with fem!reader who also lost her lover (I dunno, Shinichiro, for example? Yeah, he's muuuch older than them, and the reader knew that he would never see her as a woman (more like a sister, but he’d still say smth like “yeah yeah you'll get older and I'll marry you”), but she still loved him (puppy love and stuff)). However, if Koko’s still obsessed with Akane, the reader moved on;she cherishes the memory of her first lov, but she became older and realized thing that she wasn't understand when she was younger. So with her help (it's not like she fell in love with him when they met, it's just cuz of their similar situations she decided to kinda help(?)Inui pssst Inui) , Koko see other side(?) of this type of “love”.

I still want a happy ending for him. I mean, he's such a sad (maniac, nonetheless) character, but I believe that he does deserve true and mutual love. We all had our “first loves”, puppy crushes, older crushes and stuff. I was “in love” with my brother’s friend (he was like 5 years older than me lol, and I was like 9?He also told that he will marry me and stuff, but it was like when your dad/borther promises you the same; cute and childing memory). But I think when you couldn't confess before your pass out/move on/start date someone else, you would have a feeling as if something isoff/the story does not have an ending. I don't think that even if Akane were alive, it would have changed smth for Koko. I still believe that he’d move on sooner or later. But hey, it's only my opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️

I just truly want him to be happy and feel genuinely loved.

𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐨 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧, 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭 𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐨𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐬 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐢𝐭. 𝐌𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐭 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐝𝐫𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝, 𝐈 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭.

What a mystery it is — this emotion we call grief.

Shinichiro’s luck with women was always a comical one, never being able to snag a date, let alone have a girlfriend. He reached rock bottom as soon as he heard one of Manjiro’s childhood friends proclaim, “I’m Shinichiro’s future wife!”

“I’m too old for you,” He politely rejected, giving your head a gentle pat as a form of acknowledging your feelings. His heart ached at the fact that a girl was finally confessing her feelings for him but most likely under the guise of a childish crush. Something you would grow out of as soon as you matured enough. “You should give the other boys your age a chance. Manjiro and Keisuke have been fighting over who’s going to marry you.”

Shinichiro was amused at the way you violently shook your head at the prospect, quickly becoming defensive and pleading your case to him. “I may be young but I swear I’ll grow up into a beautiful lady. I can cook, I can clean, and I can take care of my siblings.”

He sighed, lighting up a nearby cigarette to help cope with the insanity he was suffering though at the moment. “Y/N, I don’t want a housewife. I want you to grow up and find the right person to fall in love with. I'll be just peachy seeing you fall for the right person.”

“Mama helps me out right now but she says I’m practically a mini adult.” You protested with your hands on your hips, glaring him down as he just shook his head at you.

“Sweetheart, you’re 13…” Shinichiro shudders at the realization of how old he's gotten. Another hit of his cigarette settles in his lungs, easing his racket of a mind. “I’m 23. There are so many things wrong with what you're asking of me.”

“In five years, I will be old enough to marry you. Wait for me until then, I know you’ll still be single!”

“Uh, ouch.” Shinichiro’s pride was bruised by how confidently you had rebuked his answer. He could sense a prick of annoyance begin to crawl up his spine. Your answer wasn't meant to be malicious in the slightest but it sure struck a nerve. “Y/N, you’re not thinking straight. You’ll get over this little crush in a couple years and it’ll be a silly little joke between us.”

“A joke? You think my feelings are joke…?�� You said in a quiet voice as your heart fell to your stomach. The weight of the world was coming crashing down on your childish delusions. “I love you, I really do!”

“Oh come on, Y/N. Don’t get upset, I’m just being honest with you.” Shinichiro’s words come off more harsh than he intended, made apparent by the streams of fresh hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

“But… But! You promised… Shinichiro, you promised to marry me!”

Shinichiro’s gaze switched from the motorcycle to the blubbering mess who was turned away from him. Seeing your tears made him reconsider how harsh his words would have came off. His cigarette falls to the ground, embers burning out as he glanced over at you. “What the— Don’t cry, Y/N.”

Mikey trailed in as soon as he hears the sound of loud and pronounced wailing coming from the shop. He lazily glanced between you and Shinichiro as the lollipop in his mouth swished from side to side. “Bro, what’s wrong with Y/N?”

“I-I don’t know! She just started crying!”

“Shinichiro’s being mean! M-Mikey, your brother’s being mean to me!” You wailed, tugging on his shirt as he lightly shook you off.

Mikey grinned as he placed his arms behind his head, watching the chaos unfold before him. His mischievous eyes were still focused on his older brother’s distressed face. “This is why you’re never getting a girlfriend…”

Shinichiro groaned, shooing away Mikey as he attempted to settle down your incessant outburst of melodrama. “Y/N, look at me. Stop crying, yeah? I wanna tell you a secret, just between you and me.”

“W-What?” You sniffled.

“There’s my pretty little lady,” Shinichiro smiled, thumbing away the waterworks with his oil stained hands as he left some streaks of it on your face, not like you minded much. “No more tears, okay? When you’re older we’ll get married, yeah?”

You sniffled, wiping away the lingering droplets before staring up at him. “Promise?”

Shinichiro held up his pinky extending it out for you to reciprocate the action. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

“I think the twenty rejections have gone to his head,” Wakasa interrupted, crunching down on the lollipop lingering in his mouth. He glanced between his friend and the young girl in front of him, scrutiny in his eyes. “He’s preying on middle schoolers now. Call the cops.”

“Shut up, Waka. You have no idea what we’re talking about!” Shinichiro immediately backtracked.

“Shinichiro, that’s sick.” Benkei shook his head at the ongoing conversation, gently pulling you away from Shinichiro’s arms before inspecting you for any sign of harm or injury. He gave Shinichiro the same judgmental glare as Waka before turning to glance at the girl right in front of him. “Did he hurt you, Y/N?”

Before a decent explanation could be made by you, it had appeared that you had run off to tell your friends the seemingly positive news. You shouted at the top of your lungs, “Emma! Shin said he would marry me.”

Takeomi walked in after you had sprinted past him through the shop’s back door, glaring down his captain with a menacing smile. “Am I high or did she say what I think she said? Better have a decent excuse, Shin.”

“Big bro’s farts stink like hell, Y/N." Mikey interjected, becoming amused with the way you always accepted Shinichiro's false promises without a second thought. "Oh, I bet he only said that so you would stop crying.”

Mikey had never received a more painful punch in his life, knocking him straight in the jaw as you ran back inside to tattle on your best friend. 

“Shinichiro! Manjiro’s being mean to me. He keeps saying you're not gonna marry me!”

Soon after, the unexpected news of Shinichiro's death crashed on your body like a bucket of ice water. You refused to eat, sleep was no longer a priority, school was no longer a necessity. A piece of you had died along with him, a piece that would leave a gaping hole in your heart, a piece of yourself that would never come back.

“Big bro would have wanted you to have it,” Mikey said quietly, onyx irises devoid of emotion. “Take care of it, okay?”

Shinichiro’s chain necklace, the one you always fiddled with as a child. The one you always loved hearing clink against his neck as he worked on a motorcycle. It was yours now. The necklace found a new home upon your neck, the frigid metal weighed heavy on your collarbones, it would serve as a constant reminder of the love you held for Shinichiro.

No one ever told you the difference between love and grief.

The visits to Shinichiro’s grave became less frequent though your feelings for him were still tucked away in the folds of your heart. Shinichiro Sano was once the iridescent sun and you were his precious little moon, orbiting his ethereal presence as if he were the only celestial body in existence.

“I’m in high school now, Shin. I wish you could see how much I’ve grown,” You sighed, hugging your knees to your chest as you spoke to the shining tombstone. “Bet you’d wish I was still begging for your attention.”

“Manjiro and Emma are doing well though we haven’t spoken in a while. The Black Dragons have changed, Shinichiro. More than when you were around. I wish you never left us…”

Inui Seishu was someone you would never would have expected to become friends with. He held the first-generation Black Dragons with high respect. You had previously spotted him hanging around S.S. Motors along with the other delinquents Shinichiro often housed. Kokonoi Hajime was someone who tested your patience with every breath he took, he loved to tease and get under your skin with a snaky remark. The two reminded you of a cat and dog duo, one who's constantly at the other’s throats.

“I made a new friend; I’m sure you remember him. His name is Inui, basically sees you as a god.” You chuckled, "He hangs out with Waka and Benkei sometimes. Oh, they're doing fine too..."

A shaky breath escapes your quivering lips, the childhood memories of the time you all spent together come flooding in like a tidal wave. “It’s time for me to grow up, Shinichiro. You said I needed to find the right person to fall in love with, right?”

Except you’re not sure how to do that nor how to even begin on that journey.

Your soft steps echoed the graveyard as a warm gust of breeze enveloped your body as if to reassure yourself that you were making the right choice. “This is goodbye, first love."

You peered up at the sunset, sparing it a gentle smile as you continued on your path. “Shinichiro, wherever you are, you’ll live in my heart forever. I’ll always remember that smile of yours… too bad it was your last.”

Koko can’t seem to remember when days started turning into weeks, into months, into years. When the fine lines of separation between Seishu and Akane began to blur into one person. It was fascinating how his grief had him groveling in a rut of searching for a glimmer of happiness. He never realized how low he had fallen until he kissed Inupi’s sleeping figure in the library’s silent corridors. He swore it was Akane who welcomed his anguished lips to lie upon hers. He swore it was her who was resting against the windowsill, basking in the comforting embrace of the sunshine pouring in through the glass.

What have I done?

His sleepy lids fluttered open, he glanced up at the evening sky, gentle streaks of golden light dance across the scattered clouds, hinting at the vibrant display yet to come. The air is calm, and the world seems to hold its breath, savoring the tranquil moment as day slowly gives way to night.

Kokonoi groggily reaches out to the figure next to him, his fingers brushing against the other person’s arm. “Akane?”

He was instead greeted by your teasing voice, a slight snippy tone as you get firm with him as he wakes up. “Good morning, Your Highness. It’s about time you woke up.”

“It’s not very good if you’re here,” He muttered as soon as he realized who exactly he was talking to. What a joke. “Were you watching me sleep? I knew you were a freaky girl, been telling Inupi since the day we met.”

“Remind me again why I even bother with you, Koko…” You snapped, shaking your head at the attempt to insult you. "I'm not the one who sent some cryptic ass text telling me to meet you here. You were the one I found asleep in the middle of the field."

He chuckled at the remark, sticking his tongue out just as he always did when being smug. “Lack of a brain, clearly.”

The summer air was thick with moisture, each breath feels heavy, laden with the scent of blooming flowers and freshly cut grass. The humidity wraps around everything, making the world seem slightly softened and hazy. Beads of sweat form quickly, tracing lazy paths down foreheads and necks, as the heat lingers even in the shade. The atmosphere is thick, almost tangible, carrying the distant hum of cicadas and the occasional rustle of leaves in the still, sultry air.

One question weighed on your mind, escaping your chest before you could think clearly. An inquiry that desperately needed an answer, no matter what kind of potential rift it would cause for either of you. “Koko, have you ever been in love?”

“Yes,” He paused for a moment, tilting his head and closing his eyes in deep concentration as he pondered on how to answer the question. “She was beautiful,” Kokonoi said, cutting through the momentary silence. “I wanted to marry her. Hell, I was going to marry her but—“

“Who’s Akane?”

Kokonoi realized you heard his muttering as he was asleep on the grass.

“Life never works out, does it?” A cold laugh escaped your lips, “I lost my first love too."

Kokonoi is aware of the fact you are an open person, he’s never witnessed the endless void in your eyes as you begin to relay the story of your lost lover. The empty shell you became as soon as the words began to depart your mouth. What a soulless sight.

It reminds him of himself. He hates it.

“We both promised we could marry once I was older. Now I’m beginning to realize how naïve I was to think it would work out.”

“Seishu told me about his older sister. She reminds me of Shinichiro, did you have a chance to confess to her?”

“That’s none of your damn business. Everything I do is for Akane," He admitted. “It’s the only way I can atone for the sins I carry.”

“Do you think that’s fair to Seishu?” You questioned, leading the conversation into dangerous territory. Kokonoi perked up at the drop of his friend's name, narrowing his scrutinizing gaze at you. It was like you knew which aggravating buttons to push with an expert hand, slowly setting the stage for an argument to brew and burst out. “Pushing him away because you believe that you deserve to suffer in his place. That’s a bit selfish, don’t you think?”

“What do you know? You’re just a stupid little girl who can’t get over the ghost of someone who’s never coming back!”

“You’re just a scared little boy who can’t face the fact that he deserves to make his own choices! Are you so far gone that you'll do anything for the sake of money?!” You fired back, frustration beginning to cloud your mind as the argument escalates further and further. “The Kanto Manji Gang is going to ruin you, Kokonoi."

“It’s my life, isn’t it? Quit acting like you own me." He griped, slapping away the finger you had jammed into his chest.

You scoffed, shooting him a pained glare as the knot in your throat tightened with each syllable that escaped your lips. Koko reflected so much of your grieving self that it was painful to stare at him straight on. “I’m not going to speak for Akane, but I know Shinichiro would hate me for using his memory as an excuse to make myself miserable! Let the dead rest, Hajime. It’s the least we can do for them to able to move on peacefully.”

Kokonoi has never received such an enraged response from you, nor has he ever witnessed you shedding tears over a fight. “Some days are more difficult than others, I understand that. I can function normally until the band aid over my heart is ripped off once again and I’m just a pathetic crying mess.”

Kokonoi can picture himself at home, destroying his belongings and wrecking his room in a fit of relentless rage.

“40 million... I'll make that money even if I die."

Kokonoi can picture himself receiving the phone call from his best friend, anguished sobs echoing across the line as he delivers the bone-chilling news he never wished to hear.

“Akane... She’s dead."

He can picture himself inside the hospital room, looming over Akane’s lifeless body. Bandages covering the unsightly burns across her body. Even in death, she was such a beautiful sight despite the injuries that consumed her entire being.

“I’m sorry, Akane! If only I had more money…”

Koko wishes he could be freed from the guilt of losing his best friend’s sister. Freed from the urge to chase at a fleeting shadow. Freed from the need to atone for his past self's shortcoming and unfulfilled promises.

“I walk into Mikey’s house sometimes expecting to run into Shinichiro,” You sighed, laying back in the grassy area of the ground. Kokonoi’s gaze traced your gentle features, admiring how well they reflected with the sunset’s glow on your skin. He can sense a subtle aura of longing radiating from your body “I always expect to see him waiting for me in the old bike shop.”

He can barely stop the suppressed confession from escaping his lips as soon as he blurted it out. “I kissed Inupi because I wanted to believe that it was Akane who was sitting there."

Surprisingly, you say nothing in response. Simply accepting it for what it is.

"I tried going out with Mikey for a while thinking he could make up for Shin. We both realized it wasn't healthy for either of us." You know he isn't seeking a response, instead someone who could find common ground. “Moving on doesn’t mean we’re leaving the people we love behind us. It means we have to live for ourselves, we get to choose our own paths, we write our own stories.”

You sighed, standing up and brushing away the debris lingering on your pants. The guilt of arguing with him earlier continued biting at your conscious, beckoning for you to reconcile with the boy. “It’s late, I should be heading home soon. I’m sorry for raising my voice at you, Hajime. I was trauma dumping, totally uncalled for.”

He nodded his head in response, choosing to acknowledge you passively rather than with words. Kokonoi could sense the iron-clad walls surrounding his heart beginning to cave in, threatening to tear apart his remaining composure. The years of pent-up grief was starting to bubble up and escape through the tattered seams of his soul.

Y/N has always treated me as friend even though I never considered her more than a nuisance.

Koko trembled, tears rolling thickly down his face, stinging his cracked lips. His hands twisted around each other as if he could press the worst of his feelings back into his skin. “Y-Y/N?” He croaked.

You immediately abandoned your thoughts, rushing to his side. “Koko? What is it? What’s wrong?” Your voice was sharp with concern as you scrutinized Koko any sign of something amiss.

Hesitating, Koko shook his head, his mouth opening and closing before opening again. His quivering voice could barely be heard from above a tiny whisper. “Could you just… hold me? Just for a minute?”

The request was bizarre but the anguished expression consuming his features sent your mind into overdrive. It was as if he would split into pieces if you weren't there to hold him together. He resembled a child crying out for their mother, desperate to be reassured that everything would be okay, he was safe, he was fine.

“Yeah, yeah of course.” You pulled Koko in, enveloping him in your arms, one hand cradling the back of his head and the other rubbing soothing circles into his back. You were quiet for a moment before you spoke, soft and gentle, “You know, it doesn’t have to be for just a minute. I’m here for as long as you need me.”

Koko is unable to understand how someone as compassionate as you can exist. Despite the constant banter you two have shared over the past year, you always treated him so well. He admires the way you’re ready to hand out your infinite kindness without expecting anything in return. He’s forgotten that there are people in this world who could care less about money or what he can offer to them.

There are people in this world who are the walking definition of a guardian angel. People who are there to listen and guide others when they've lost themselves, Koko stumbled upon that epiphany as soon as he became vulnerable with you. No expectations, no need to return the favor, it did not feel transactional to him like his other dealings.

“I’m not a good person. I don’t deserve comfort,” Koko mumbled into your shoulder. He was speaking more to himself than to you, finding a way to cope with the influx of manic chaos rushing through his veins. Your embrace was more than enough to calm his nerves though he cursed himself internally for allowing himself to be so weak in front of you.

The pure vulnerability of being able to indulge in another person’s care was something Koko thought he would never experience. Life served him the worst hand of cards, the only way to survive was to outsmart the system by creating his own.

“Regardless of whether you’re a good person or not, people don’t become better by treating themselves badly. And you don’t have to earn my kindness or ration it like it’ll run out. You already have it, as much as you’ll let me give you.”

You both stood like that for much longer than a minute.

"To be honest, I tolerate you better than most. You can be nice to have around, sometimes." He admitted, thinking you deserved some shred of his kindness in exchange for the temporary sanctuary you provided.

"I think that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me, Koko. I should record that, say it again!" You rolled your eyes playfully, holding up your cellphone as if you actually wanted to follow through with your plans.

Koko rolled his eyes at the suggestion, choosing to stick his tongue out as a response. "Don't push your luck, Y/N. This won't happen again."

"Hajime... It's time for you to live your life the way you want to."

“I will," Koko affirmed. "Don't have to tell me twice."

Meanwhile, Inui sighed from the sidelines, making note of the way you avoided his gaze as if it would change how easy it was for him to read you. He noticed the sheepish smile on your face and the subtle rosy tint on your cheeks but decided to spare you the embarrassment of explaining as soon as you approached. "How did it go?"

You cleared your throat, a tiny grimacing smile soon replacing the bashful expression. "Better than expected. You should reach out to him before 2nd Gen Toman faces Kanto Manji, I would hate see either of you get hurt."

Inui shook his head, returning a pained smile "You've done enough, Y/N. Koko needs to figure out the rest on his own. Want me to walk you home?"

"Thanks, Seishu." You answered but continued to politely decline his offer. "But I have to catch up with someone in a bit. I'll see you around okay?"

"Right, get home safe then. Message as soon as you make it back."

Soon enough, the sight of a familiar tombstone comes into view, a pair of fresh incense sticks and a pack of his favorite cigarettes adorning the gravesite. Waka and Benkei must’ve paid a visit right before you arrived. "Hiya, Shin. Guess what? I think I found someone to fall in love with. He's rough around the edges in some ways but I can sense that he has a warm heart. Sure, he gets on my nerves and can be too cocky for his own good, but he has some redeeming qualities.”

A tiny grin dances across your lips as you fiddle with the hem of your sleeves. “You know, it may be too soon to call it love but we’re starting off as friends… that’s a nice start, right?”

It’s quiet, so painstakingly quiet that you swore you could hear Shinichiro’s voice being carried through the wind. The graveyard was desolate considering the late hour. Call it wishful thinking, a side effect of long term grief or pure and utter delusion but the words strike like a resonating chord in your heart.

'I’m proud of you, Y/N.'

The graveyard feels a little less lonely tonight.

[momo-de-avis]

When I was growing up, like any average portuguese person brought up catholic, I visited Fatima yearly. It was a huge deal and I loved it. I often describe it as going to disney because it was like a theme park for me. I understood it's meaning, but you don't get the insane amount of merch you could get, and I had everything.

The thing I loved the most was the books. I had books about the full story of the miracle that I read back and forth several times and I was obsessed with it. I was genuinely touched by it, and it wasn't even the miracle/apparitions part, it was the children's story. People often forget these 9, 10 and 14 year olds spent several nights in jail. That shit amazed me.

Anyway, those books were useful after all because now, doing tours in Fatima, I still remember that shit to the detail and this was the one tour I did not study a single line because I read so many fucking books about the three little shepherds as an impressionable 10 year old

[wolfiemcwolferson]

Helllllooooo, I was tagged by @duquesademiel and also @vicsy and I feel a bit deranged but here we go.

1. How many works do you have on ao3

I have 73 fics up on my f1 ao3 account.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 

Please do not judge me for this, god, oh my god - 1,331,441

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I currently write for F1.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

well we can settle down (Maxiel)

I remember when I met you just before September (Carlando)

so take it from me (Carlando)

I will wait for you at the end love (Maxiel)

I feel your body call on me (Piarles)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do not respond to comments and it makes me feel really horribly guilty. To be honest, I did not do it when I first joined the fandom because I was overwhelmed and then I wanted to and it was too long and I think one of the things I want to do is start...responding to comments...I just never know what to say.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I think it's this Carlando. But you just have to read it. Trust me.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I don't think I can answer that because I am a certified happy ending writer. I have a few fics that I desperately want to write that I won't because they're not happy endings, but if I have to pick...it's got to be the Blue Neighbourhood series. That's a complete circle ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no one has ever left me explicit hate on my fics. some of y'all get wild in my inbox which is why I don't have anon on

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes. Uh. I don't know how to answer that.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not a big fan of crossovers <- Vicsy is right

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and I made a Wattpad account after Briony had one of her Maxiel fics posted to there for the second time and now I religiously check because I am deranged

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not to my knowledge - wait, once Sol said for exam practice she was translating bits of my fic and I had a little cry about it but it's not posted anywhere.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

HAVE I EVER. I genuinely have too many to individually tag, but I have written with @river-ocean in the past and I am currently posting the Alphabet Dating Season fic with @chaesonghwas and @duquesademiel - and we all know that Sol and I are always always always writing fic together. I have something in the works with someone else and I think it's a secret, so I won't say anything about that. And then @miamierre and I are literally putting the finishing touches on the promised insane fic we cooked up together and I cannot wait for you all to see it. This is the year of collabs for me and I'm loving it tbh

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Despite the stats on my fics

Piarles

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a fic for an old fandom that is languishing away and I feel guilty about it because it was good

16. What are your writing strengths?

I write fast.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I suffer from "can't shut up" and sometimes my fics don't need to be a long fic.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I am so so so nervous about it. everything that I write I double and triple check and I still get it wrong a lot of the time. I think it's fine and people should do whatever the fuck they want.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter because of course

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

This answer literally changes every single day. Today it's the sugarbaby fic that I wrote for Phoebe because I am very very proud of that fic and I think if you hold it against the stuff I was writing two years ago, you really see how far I've come as a writer.

Everyone tagged in this that hasn't already done it should do it, but I'm also going to tag @gaynfl

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

Tumblr Fandom: A Year in Review 2023

Tagged by @mistmarauder and I'm pretty sure I'm contractually obligated to do as she says so...

Top Five Blorbos: Eddie Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley, Patrick Jane, Edgin Darvis, Xenk Yendar

Top Five Fandoms: 9-1-1, Fast & Furious, Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves, The Mentalist, The Witcher

Top Five OTPs: Buddie, Xedgin, whatever the hell Dom/Brian is called (there is so little fanfic for them I am weeping), Jisbon, House/Shenanigans uh I mean House/Wilson/Cuddy

Shoutout to Some New Friends: @princessfbi and @tulipfromtheinternet have been very kind to me, leaving treats out on their porches for me to sniff. I even let them pet me after a few months of slowly earning my trust!

Shoutout to Some Old Friends: @mistmarauder and @catdadeddie are two friends I grew closer with this year, and have done a lot to restore my trust in people. They've put up with an unfair amount of prickliness and distrust on my part with grace and love. @evcndiaz has also put up with me dropping into her inbox with fun (horrifying) facts about human anatomy, which earns her a gold medal. And of course @givemeunicorns @devilsbrokerank @captainofthefallen and @extasiswings continue to be my rocks and remind me that there are good people in this world, and that some of those good people might actually love me.

Favorite Creation You Posted This Year: Genuinely I feel like with my Halloween fics I have done the best work in my fanfiction career. I'm shocked at how proud I am of the fanfics I put out this year, including my Wednesday fic and my Xedgin fics. It's impossible for me to choose a favorite.

Favorite Creation Posted by Someone Else This Year: @kittykatthetacodemon had me reading fic for fandoms and ships I'm not even in or shipping? she's just that fucking good? holy shit go watch Mag7 and then read her fics just. just do it.

People Who Brightened Your Year: @lisbonsteresa always and forever brightens my days, and it was a delight this year to be in the same fandom again as she got me hooked on The Mentalist, @mistmarauder always makes me laugh even (especially) when she's roasting me, and @extasiswings helped me get away from the real world a couple times when I needed it.

Anyone Else You'd Like to Mention: I'm so grateful to all of my readers, always. Your enthusiasm and comments are what keep me going. Thank you thank you thank you.

Five of Your Favorite Authors This Year: I'll be honest I have barely read any fanfic this year since I simply haven't had time but a quick shout out again to @kittykatthetacodemon because Mist forced me to read her fanfics at gunpoint and I've never been so happy to be at gunpoint after reading them. I've reread her Hobbs & Shaw fics literally a dozen times, she nails the hysterical over-the-top banter from the F&F films and it has me giggling every time.

Oh and @henswilsons. Forever and always making me laugh with your delightful fics. Never stop, dear.

Five of Your Favorite Artists/Gifmakers/Podficcers/Etc. This Year: @captain-hen so many times I see a gifset that makes me insane and it's by you, you menace. @like-the-rest-of-la lovely art from a lovely person. @bucksketch you make art that has me screeching and twirling my hair and kicking my feet. @mistmarauder your podfics, babe, you know how much I adore them. Um I'm terrible at remembering urls (I'm even worse with names). Uh. Um. Uhhhh. Uhhhhhhh... *we're all still waiting days later*

Three Things You're Looking Forward to in 2024: 9-1-1 SEASON SEVEN BABEEEEEEY

[cressthebest]

Crimson Rivers thoughts pt. 13

chapter 24:

1. sirius 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼 james being codependent af

2. ooo reg you’re so close babes. think about that just a little more. he realizes he cares about how james treats him and feels about him. reg just almost gets it

3. “He thinks the arena makes everyone a bad person while they're here. The only exception to the rule is James. He's the only person who could drag himself through all of this filth and cruelty and still hold onto his shine.”

4. ☺️ this “without hesitation” line is gonna bite us in the ass, isn’t it?

5. they’re talking about what their life without tragedy would have looked like. and damn. i’m not okay. their life would have been so beautiful

6. “"In that life, I do," Regulus whispers. "I let you do whatever you want, and when you want to dance, we dance."”

i’m NASTY sobbing over this line. like, snot coming out of my nose sobbing

7. “Regulus said James was his first love, didn't he? James would give anything to be his last.” 😀😀😀 holy shit that hurts

8. that nightmare was VILE

9. god, reg was practically sobbing to hold james’ hand. why is the world cruel to them??

10. 😐 i am unamused. another fucking spider

11. “"Have a go at me. Don't thank me or anything. It's always you're so stupid, James; it's never you looked so sexy and heroic while saving everyone from the murderous spider, James."” PFFFFFTTTT

12. it hurts to read it, but i also have always known that if reg wasn’t called into the hunger games, james would have died for someone else. like he said, either peter or vanity

13. god, peter’s story line and character fucking hurts. his family was mathias, irene, vanity, james, and even reg. this hurts like hell

14. NOOO PETER!!!!!

15. THEY MADE IT!!! THEY SURVIVED! THE GAMES ARE OVER!! THANK GOD!!

16. 😀😧 the rule change is REVOKED??? IM ABOUT TO LOSE MY FUCKING SHIT!! IF I WAS IN THIS UNIVERSE, ID PERSONALLY BE THROWING HANDS WITH SLUGHORN!! I BET SIRIUS HAS TO BE PHYSICALLY RESTRAINED!!

17. “"You're hesitating, love," James says softly.”

SCREEEEEEEEEEECHH

18. “"Axus got me on their way into the water. At least it was your dagger, I suppose," James says with a weary chuckle, his throat bobbing on a harsh swallow. His mouth quirks up a bit at the corner, gentle and lovely. "Maybe this makes me insane, but if I'm honest, I wish it had been you."”

oh no, make no mistake james. this very much does make you insane

19. and james is compared to the fucking sun going down again. i- i’m not okay

20. i need therapy for my trust issues. i trusted my ex best freind who outed me. i trusted my old roommate who i recently found out had a notes app list of everything she didn’t like about me this year. and most importantly, i trusted zar. i trusted that this fic wouldn’t do this to me.

[consistentsquash]

What are your top 10 snarry favorite fics?

Hiya! I feel like my top 10 changes depending on my mood. Snarry fandom has a lot of great fics. Sorry for slowness but life was kind of crazy.

I like fics with a lot of magic/whimsy/darker vibes. A big fan of canon divergence because Snape needs to live! Dubcon with bittersweet ending but also they need to be in love.

My super subjective top 12 which is going to change in like 5 minutes because I am a flake. It's going to be in two parts for reasons... also chronological because why not!

first part

A Bittersweet Potion by alchemia and bugland. This is like the only oldschool Snarry that works for me now because my reading tastes changed a lot. I got lots of bookmarked chapters I reread. Just love the fic. So crazy creative. Also crazy. This started in 2002 iirc.. So really, really old. WIP!

In Between Days by atrata. I really like this. A lot of things won't work for new readers because it was written before the books finished. But it's peak Snape before the big canon reveals and has a lot of ambiguity in his characterization. This is 2005 so you can kind of see their dynamic developing like the middle books.

Morior Animus by Vain. OMG. I read MCD but I don't normally reread it a lot. This fic though. It's got MCD but it's super beautiful and the premise of the fic is just incredible. snarry games fic. A lot of my favs are from that collection. A lot of fics in that time get super creative because the books were still going on. 2006 before DH iirc.

This Boy's Life by pir8fancier. This is my fav fic from the author. The fic is just ultra intense. So we get to see the whole Lily situation. I reread this one a lot. 2007.

When the Rose and the Fire Are One by @perverse-idyll. So this fic burned me out on Snarry. Especially on Snape characterization. Sometimes you just read a fic which says literally everything you wanted about the characters and you don't feel like reading that pairing again? So that was me with this fic. I just didn't read a lot of Snarry after this. also Snarry games. 2008

second part

part two of my favs are from more recent years after I got over that fic…

6. a certain optimism by @hippocrates460. The fic which got me back into Snarry bigtime! Love the Snape POV so much! It's kind of not that common in Snarry fics to get Snape POV. This one is brilliant. It feels like something from a different life, more now than when it had been decades since he’d last heard it. 2019

7. The Measure of A Man by @ac1d6urn. Gosh the intensity. I just. But also really healing and love the feels. Super cathartic vibes. I reread this fic a lot. It's got a great Harry characterization. One of the best honestly. A lot of Snarry fics don't really go into Harry. This fic is Harry's fic! <;3 2019

8. Close Encounters by @likelightinglass and bleedcolor - I am a big sucker for mysterious identity slow build and this is 100% that fic. Lots of classic tropes with ultra perfect execution! Kind of a comfort read for me honestly. 2019

9. Green Grow the Rushes, O by eldritcher - I am a big fan of magical worlds and imagery. Omg this fic! It's like a fever dream. Really lucid, really intense but also like a Van Gogh painting. Somehow plays it straight and also gets mythological at the same time. The fic that made me fall in love with reading aloud. Musical like whoa. There is only the moon and bright Venus to greet them. Severus heals Harry with song and spell. He fucks Harry until he is drained of fear and fury. 2021

10. Suspiria by @ripeteeth - A big fan of the 2nd person POV! Also unicorn rare. But omg I love it in this fic. It adds insane levels of intense for a pretty intense premise. You can really feel the mental spirals. Snape POV! Super ambitious and really, really delivers on that. Why does he look at you? Perhaps it’s in penance. 2021

11. Realisations by @titconao3 - A big fan of 1st person POV but it's like unicorn level rare now. This fic rocks the 1st person POV. Also Harry POV. I mean that's like 2x levels of ambitious :D But it works great. I really love this postwar setting and the pacing. Feels really organic. Oh, since then, I’ve had the biggest, most doomed crush on the most unlikely, the most unreachable man. 2022

12. Contempt by @danpuff-ao3 - Gosh. This is like Old school Snarry but like with really tight pacing. It sucks you in and you just have to go with it. It goes to some crazy places. Which is what I want from Snarry! They need to be crazy :D. Also the summary is literally Snarry ship manifesto Harry hates Snape, and he always will. (He will, won’t he?) 2022