#Emergency Ward 10

[mariocki]

Have become addicted to ebay lately, a challenge i am meeting with all the good grace and financial wisdom of a deranged hoarder, but today i was trawling along looking at tv memorabilia when i discovered this

The Emergency Ward 10 boardgame! An item i did not know existed! Fun for all the family (as long as there are between 2 and 4 of you), and apparently with the singular goal of driving your car from your home garage to your place of work - whilst avoiding the terrors of everyday life/a job in EW10

It's very silly and very charming, but most importantly it contains what must be the most adorable single game square in any board game ever made, ever:

[temiizpalace]

☆┊I SWEAR I ONLY FELL FOR YOU ON ACCIDENT..

SUMMARY: he never meant to develop feelings for you, and seven are these overwhelming feelings doing things to him.

CHARACTERS: leona, jade, jamil

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: cursing, CRINGE, spoilers for book 3!!!

ROMANTIC, PINING

NOTES: (kind of) based off this song + flustering boys who pretend to not be flustered ever + lyrics in fic not in order

reader is g/n, reader is yuu

🦁┊LEONA KINGSCHOLAR

“one time you crossed my mind and i promised id be careful”

he would have never expect his feelings to be like this after your first encounter.

the hostility he held towards you, he should’ve warded you away. yet you kept coming back. talking to him all buddy buddy.. it was admirable from the eyes of others. if he would’ve known better he would think you saw him as a large house cat (you do). well guess what, he ain’t.

at the start, he thought of you as nothing but a huge nuisance and thorn in his side in this already bothersome school. but after seeing your courageous news during azul’s overblot, he’s got a newfound respect for ya.

everything was fine from then. you’d bother him occasionally, and he’d allow you to bask in his presence. what? did you expect something else? well you’re wrong. but these moments have kickstarted some brand new fantasies for our beloved prince to indulge in.

it started off normally, he’s napping peacefully as you read a book next to him, giving him an occasional glance or two before focusing on the piece of literature in your hands. as we know, dreams can range in a wide variety of things. some can be absolutely blissful, some are really random, and others are just straight up nightmares!!

now, leona had no idea where to classify this one.

he walks into his room after finishing some duties concerning the kingdoms wellbeing.. being king is no easy task. “back already? that was quick.” your voice rang in his ears as he tossed the choking royal garbs to the side, making way to curl up in your lap. “can’t stand these people..” he murmured into your stomach, making you smile. you play with his hair, making an occasional braid or two before pausing. “hmph, why’d ya stop?” you lift his chin, looking him in the eyes. “i’m helping you de-stress.” suddenly, he feels pulled closer to your face, your lips barely ghosting each other til finally—

leona sits up quickly in a sweat, startling you as he emerged from the ground. what the fuuuucckkkk was that????? “ah, leona? are you okay?” you ask, concerned as to how quick he was to wake up. usually it’d take 10 minutes to get him out of a daze! “fine.” he grunts, getting up and walking towards the mirror hall.

“uhh, where ya going?” no response. he seemed grumpy, but you had no idea why. did you do something? nahhh, probably just typical leona. ..right?

you’ve noticed he’s been avoiding you a lot more lately. he will not respond when you say hi to him in the halls, will just up and leave if you see him in the botanical gardens, and will walk in the opposite direction of you just so you don’t have to cross paths.

now you’re concerned. was he mad at you? to put it simply, yes and no. yes because why are you occurring in his dreams???? are you crazy???? smh. get out. he’s the one dreaming but ok

yet no because, he’s no fool. he knows when he’s in love and unfortunately for him, this is love. you don’t understand how much he’s tossing and turning in his room because literally every gap in his head is filled up with thoughts of you, how much this aggravates him because he can’t get adequate amounts of sleep anymore. your fault!!!

he wanted to avoid you like the plague for at least a month to let these feelings wash over, but to no avail. someone just kill him and bury the body he’s hopeless. he cannot wait to be found six feet underground because feeling like this for a magicless human was the last thing he wanted.

that’s it, he’s never gonna tell ya. ever. just him and his thoughts. yep. mhm. yeah.. you’d look really nice in formal attire—AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

he wants to scream but the best he can do is make a cringing face. how the hell do you make him so sappy??? this love stuff stinks… how could you do this to him?

🐬┊JADE LEECH

“one spark, you jump my heart and i feel it beating faster. yeah, it’s too late, im not ashamed.”

ah, love. something jade believed he’d never experience.

from the moment his eyes met yours, he’s always felt a twisting feeling in his chest. how peculiar.. to be fair, from afar you were quite bland to him. just another pawn and source of intel.

but then word began to get out you stopped two overblots, catching his interest. really? a magicless human? now he’s just dying to meet you.. and thank the seven he did. you had him the moment you spoke, your voice causing his heartbeat to speed up rapidly.

after azul’s overblot, though? jade is nothing but head over heels for you. without shame. he’s practically glued to your side, walking you to and from classes almost every day without fail, somehow always being your waiter whenever you ate at the mostro lounge, always having a hand on your back or shoulder.. huh.

it’s clear to anyone with half a brain that the leech twin definitely saw you more than merchandise, making them even more afraid to speak with you! whenever you were jade was like 2 feet behind.

only recently have you started to notice this. so, you’ll do what any normal person would do. ask him about it!

“hey, jade.” the eel-mer looks at you, an eyebrow raised with a polite smile. “is something the matter, prefect?” he asks, his demeanor the same as ever. “just wondering, but why’re you always around me? im not annoyed or anything! just.. just curious.” you stated quite bluntly, catching the boy off guard.

you could’ve sworn you saw him freeze with eyes wide, but the ability he has to rebuild his facade was impeccable. he pretends to think about it holding his chin before chuckling. “i suppose.. i just enjoy your company.” he smiles as you suddenly feel like an arrow was shot riiigghhttt through your heart.

“haha, really?” you laugh nervously, feeling the heat in your face flush to your cheeks as he stared you down with glee. before jade was able to respond, he was cut off by the sudden sincerity in your voice. “i enjoy your company too, jade.” you smile back at him, a sudden awkward silence falling before you.

“a-anyway, this is my class! gotta go! bye!” running inside the classroom, you try to hide the very obvious warmth in your face with your hands. THAT WAS SO CRINGE. IM FUCKED IM FUCKED IM FUCKED IM FUCKED. AAAGAGAGBABABAHAHAHAHAHA

this moment is going to haunt you for the rest of your life, you just know it. while you were dealing with the repercussions of the exchange, jade was in absolute heaven right now. his heartbeat was at an all time high, feeling nothing but sheer joy. falling for you was never his intention, but thank the seven he did.

the day passes by swiftly, nothing too out of the ordinary. as jade walks back to his dorm room, he flops onto his mattress face first into the pillows. an annoyed floyd looks at him with a disgusted expression, wishing this didn’t happen almost every day.

“yer so sappy, yknow that jade?” he grumbles, tossing a pillow at him with force. jade didnt care. it was worth it. all of it was worth it. falling in love with you was the best accident he’s ever made.

🐍┊JAMIL VIPER

“i’ll never see it coming but i know we’ll crash, cause when we’re with each other, yeah, we move too fast.”

kill him kill him kill him kill him kill him kill hi

those were the thoughts racing through jamil’s mind as you somehow convinced him to ride the magic carpet with you. what was he thinking??? he knows something is going to go terribly wrong whenever he’s with you.

not because of you (he hopes), but because of him! he’s a man who’s very meticulous about his work, making sure it’s done to absolute perfection. now, add you into the mix. it throws him horribly off.

when jamil first met you, he didn’t think much of it. you were a magicless human from another world. impressive that may be, that’s all you are. no major threat to kalim, so he’ll leave you be. then came the overblots.. you seemed more valuable than he originally thought.

then came his overblot. in all honesty, he hated you after that. or he thought he did. he always felt this burning sensation in his chest and this inexplainable image of you in his head nagging at him at any free chance he got! then came the scenarios.. domestic moments like brushing his hair, waking up next to each other, cooking meals for each other..

then he realized he fell into the deep end and fell in love with you. shit.

you treated him with such kindness! how didn’t he fall in love with you?? everything’s making his head hurt. the world must be upside down.

hearing kalim sing constant praise was nothing out of the ordinary, something he’s already grown used to and learned to despise. you on the other hand, your compliments send him to different universes. he swear fireworks get lit whenever you open your mouth and just explode all around him.

jamil’s behavior around you was a fairly noticeable difference to those close with him. he stuttered over his words, was a bit more expressive, and had a specific tone in his voice that seemed to be reserved for you. however, the most notable difference that almost anyone can see was the fact that THE jamil viper made a lot more accidents.

he seemed to embarrass himself every time he’s with you, but thank god you just shrug it off like nothing. screwing up was not something jamil EVER did before.. why must you ruin him like this? and these moments seem to just speed by, making it all seem like one huge fever dream that he just happens to remember. he hates it!

now, back to the present moment. he watches you sit onto the magic carpet, feeling the cold breeze in your hair due to the fact scarabia is much chillier during the night. he stares at you from the balcony, seeing as you turned back to smile at him. “you coming” you ask, watching him hesitate. “m-maybe i shouldn’t.. i must tend to kalim and—“

“do you trust me?” you ask, holding your hand out to him. he looks at you, taken aback by your sudden question. “what?” “do you trust me?” you repeat, a stern tone in your voice as you looked down at him with a certain gleam in your eyes that he just cannot resist. “..yes?”

jamil grabs your hand, pulling himself onto the carpet. the warmth from his palms spread throughout your entire body, suddenly regulating the your internal temperature. as you both kneeled on the carpet, your eyes met, staring into each other intensely. his hand subconsciously squeezes yours, holding to them for dear life, not wanting to let go.

while this was insanely romantic to you both, from outside perspective, it just looks like this 🧍‍♂️🧍

“ah, jamil, you’re squeezing my hand.” you laugh nervously, watching as the heat rises to his cheeks. “s-sorry. now then, shall we?” he clears his throat, sitting down properly before looking at you with a small smile. you can’t help but reciprocate, flashing him a grin before taking his hand again. “of course.”

before the carpet can take off into the clouds, cheering can be heard from inside scarabia halls.

it seemed kalim had a little.. arrangement for the both of you. jamil pulls his hood over his face in embarrassment as the carpet flies towards the glittering sky of stars, something both you and jamil can enjoy together.

A/N: jamil bias is EVIDENT (I kinda sorta didn’t go with the song that much and got carried away oopsies)

date published: 7/28/24

© temiizpalace — do not copy, steal, or put my work into ai. thank you!

[itsawritblr]

"Sex is biological fact, NHS declares."

Fuckin FINALLY.

The article's behind a paywall, so I had to grab a screenshot fast. It's not the clearest picture, and I may have cut some off.

Here's the article, if you can get around the paywall.

From BBC News via Yahoo News:

NHS England charter to stress biological sex when placing patients in wards

Transgender women should not be put on single-sex female NHS wards, the government is proposing.

The measure is part of a raft of changes to the NHS Constitution for England, the charter of rights for patients.

The proposals stress the importance of biological sex for the first time when it comes to same-sex accommodation and intimate care.

In both cases, the rights are available only where possible.

For example, same-sex accommodation rights, which have existed for years, can and are breached where there is a clinically urgent need to admit and treat a patient and do not extend to areas such as critical care or accident and emergency.

The guidance also means that trans men should not be housed on single-sex male wards.

Under the proposals:

transgender people, whose gender identity differs from their biological sex, may be provided single rooms, where appropriate

patients will have the right to request a person of the same biological sex delivers any intimate care

Health Secretary Victoria Atkins said it was about making it clear that "sex matters".

"We want to make it abundantly clear that if a patient wants same-sex care, they should have access to it wherever reasonably possible," she said.

"By putting this in the NHS Constitution, we're highlighting the importance of balancing the rights and needs of all patients, to make a healthcare system that is faster, simpler and fairer to all."

'Trampled over'

Maya Forstater, of the Sex Matters campaign group, said the changes were "excellent news".

"The confusion between 'sex' and 'gender' in official policies like the NHS Constitution is what has enabled women's rights to be trampled over in the name of transgender identities," she said.

But Cleo Madeleine, of Gendered Intelligence, said robust policies were already in place and the government had its priorities wrong.

"After 14 years of austerity, medical professionals are crying out for more funding, more resources, and better conditions for staff and patients," she said.

"The government seems hell-bent on pursuing its obsession with the transgender community instead of addressing these longstanding needs."

'Martha's rule'

The changes are part of a wider review of the NHS Constitution, which the government must complete every 10 years.

They also include a plan to embed patients and their loved ones' right to access a rapid review from outside the care team if the patient is deteriorating.

This is the right behind "Martha's rule", which is being introduced in the NHS, to ensure patients know they can ask for a second opinion, with the government providing funding to hospitals for posters and leaflets informing patients and their families.

Martha Mills died aged 13, after being admitted to King's College Hospital, south London, in 2021, having injured her pancreas slipping on to the handlebars of her bike while cycling.

She later developed sepsis - but with better care, could have survived, an inquest found.

All the changes will be consulted on over the next eight weeks, before the constitution is updated later this year.

Labour's shadow health secretary Wes Streeting said: "Rights on paper are worthless unless they are delivered in practice.

"The NHS constitution already pledges that no patient will have to share an overnight ward with patients of the opposite sex, but that is not the case for too many patients."

[firegirl888101]

Insatiable Madness (10)

|Sagau Yandere Fatui Harbingers x Reader|

You need to start planning an escape.

Reader is Gender Neutral!

It wasn't the most flattering picture of you they decided to use. At least you could find some humour in that fact.

"...Why are you just staring at 'the television'?" Sandrone raised an eyebrow, looking distraught.

"Oh, hey, you're on there!" Childe pointed out. "You famous?"

"Something like that..." You mumbled in return, trying to hide the smug smile on your face.

This is perfect. They couldn't read the roman alphabet! Not only can you use this against them to plan an escape, but you can also insult them later for it!

Illiterate bitches You snickered to yourself.

"Yesterday afternoon, a local fast food restaurant in '_____ ___ _______' was attacked by an unknown group. Police officers found in the area of the crime were frozen solid in strong ice, scientists all across the country have come to try and understand how such a phenomenon could happen."

The screen changed to the McDonald's you were taken from yesterday, to a hospital ward with remnants of ice all over the floor. The camera panned upwards to a man laying on one of the hospital beds. His face looked awful, like he'd been revived from the dead. His nose red and lips blue, he was shivering as nurses rushed to get heatpacks for him.

"When the first officer was thawed, he had no memories after he'd been turned to ice. From what our journalist's gathered from him, the group whom attacked the restaurant kidnapped a civilian inside the facility, killing all who remained inside and allowing children to run away from the scene."

The screen then cut to a zoomed in clip of him sitting up, visibly in a better condition than before.

"Could you tell us what happened?" A cameraman from behind the screen asked him, the police officer looking directly into the lens of the device.

"It was... traumatising." He answered in a low tone. "I had ran from the station after being called to an emergency downtown. Something about an answer to a 999 call expressing worries of there being a hostage. My co-workers ran out of the police car first, and shouted from outside the building."

"And?" The cameraman pushed him, noticing the officer's hesitation.

The officer sighed, his breath shaky, then continued.

"A woman calmy walked outside, at least I think it was a woman. I remember my friends shouting for 'a lady' to stop walking towards them and put her hands in the air. Last thing I remember is seeing something blue and shiny heading right for my co-workers and the police car I was in."

"Bah!" The cameraman laughed out loud. "You're saying she was the one who almost froze you to death? Don't be ridiculous, unless you dreamt Elsa." He mocked.

"But, that's what happened!" The police officer shouted at him, the footage of the hospital suddenly going black.

"The Police Station checked all officer's body cameras. However, from the external ice interference, all footage was damaged and therefore unable to be investigated."

Another picture of you, different from the first one displayed earlier, transitioned next to the lady reading from her script. Her face showed one of concern.

"The missing person is Mx Y/N L/N, a college student who was kidnapped at the location. They were the one whom called 999 and first alerted authorities to the situation in the building. Our heart goes out to them, in hopes of them being safe." She said sympathetically. Her face soon changed to an interested one, forgetting about all the death's in the first place.

"Just who could this group and 'lady' be? Where did they get the power to turn others into ice? Perhaps the lady is their leader! Let's hope an update on the situation comes soon. To find out more, go to our websi--"

You turned the television off with a disgusted expression on your face.

Fake. Arse. Bitch.

"Her??? 'The Leader'? Fuck that shit." Childe scoffed, arms crossed with a glare sent towards the woman.

"Enough, Childe." Signora scoffed back, rolling her eyes at the child clearly fuming.

"So, everyone knows you've gone missing?" The Regrator whistled, fiddling with a mora coin and sitting on the only armchair which hadn't been torn to pieces.

Ugh, you forgot they could still understand the English language.

"Yup." You sighed.

"Even though I already know the answer," Scaramouche huffed. "Do you have friends who could have seen that and immediately thought to check up on you at your house?"

Oh yeah, if only you had friends who actually cared about you! Then, maybe someone would come looking for you. Also, was Scaramouche implying you had no friends!?

For his information, you knew plenty of people and had a lot of 'friends'! ... Unfortunately, you don't think they care enough to drop by your house.

"Pshh!" You shoved his shoulder lightly, slightly hurt. The puppet scowled and rolled his eyes. "Of course I do. They just... aren't available right now." You lied with a shrug.

Scaramouche simply stared back at you. "Uh-huh, I believe you." He shook his head, walking away.

"Hey, don't walk away from me. You need to- HEY, THAT DOESN'T MEAN EVERYONE ELSE CAN TOO! CLEAN THIS GOD DAMN MESS YOU LOT MADE OR I SWEAR TO-"

... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Everyone walked off to do their own thing around the house after that... cleaning session. You spied on what the harbingers were doing, a notepad in your hands with scribbled writing full of potential ideas to get away from the house.

You'd crossed out many plans:

Use phone, call someone?

Definitely not, you'd be heard and questioned by the harbingers then lose your phone to their control. There's no doubt in your mind Pierro would let Sandrone and Dottore get their hands on it.

Run out house, when everyone is sleeping?

Wouldn't work. They said it themselves, some of them don't sleep. Plus, most of them probably have supersonic hearing.

Suggest to go out together then secretly pass someone a note?

Too dangerous. The harbingers would quickly catch on to what you were planning, and would potentially kill the person whom you asked for help.

Ugh! This is terrible. Your dumb brain has thought of every possible way to escape, and they all end up in failure! They're too risky, the phone one is the most ideal but you'd never risk your phone being taken away too early! It could be detrimental later down the line.

"Decider. If I may have your attention," The old sounding voice of Pulcinella coughed from in front of you. "I would like to ask a question."

"A question? I mean, it's not like I can stop you from asking it." You hid your notepad from his view.

You didn't want to make the harbingers suspicious. Even if they couldn't read what you were writing.

"Insolent child." Pulcinella sighed to himself, shaking his head. "What exactly do you plan to do about the food?"

"Huh? Whaddya mean 'the food'?"

"While your meal from last night was delicious, I noticed from how it tasted it isn't the... healthiest option. Feeding 12 people, including yourself, is quite a task so I understand why you prepared something like it. But, aren't you worried about eventually running out?" He scratched his mustache, sitting on the sofa next to you.

"You're right." You sighed back to him with a nod. "I'll need to go shopping soon to get more food for everyone. But if I start doing that, I'll eventually run out of money."

"The Regrator can lend you some Mora---"

"Fuck that." You scoffed. "First of all, I know just how harsh the Fatui are with debt. Second of all, Mora isn't even the currency used here."

"You mean to say The Regrator is worth nothing in this world?" The old man's face grew amused.

"I mean, he wasn't worth anything to begin with..." You grumbled, trying to be as quiet as possible. "Anyway, I'll need to go to the cornershop and grab us some food."

"You won't be going anywhere." Pierro walked into the room, a small yawn erupting from his lips.

"Welcome back from my office." You glared slightly, Pierro glaring in return.

Well, technically it's not your office. Buuuut, your father did always joke how it would be yours when he dies... so yeah, it's yours now.

"I see no reason why it must belong to you when you are so concerned of your bedroom." He put a piece of paper in front of you.

"What does this say?" He dropped the paper on your lap, you giving him an eye roll before taking a closer look.

It seemed to be a... private file addressed to your dad. Something about house bills being paid at a certain date,. Wow, that's not interesting at all.

"Don't you know privacy is the only thing I have left now?" You scoffed, pushing the paper away from you.

"Now, Now...." Pulcinella scolded you, his walking stick digging into your foot. "Treat The Jester politely."

"Fine. I don't want to read it to you since they're my father's personal affairs, got it?" You winced, sighing in relief when feeling the pressure on your foot fade.

"Understandable." Pierros sighed to himself. "It looked important, with this script being written in thicker ink."

I could have sworn Teyvat has made something equivalent to a printing press... How else would 'The Legend of the Sword' gotten so popular? You thought, scratching your cheek with a confused face.

Well, Pierro was right either way. What he didn't know, was the bold text he deemed important was just the money paid, and the next date due.

Not like the house bills mattered anymore, you were assumed missing and it's probably not going to be visited for at least a year due to the janky government.

Besides, you were missing, not dead. According to the law, you have seven years until you need to worry about the police barging down the door. You probably won't live that long, so yay for legalities sake!

"Well, it would have been important for my mother and father before you ripped their carcass' in half. Now it's meaningless, ...for the next seven years or whatever." You gave a sassy reply, handing the paper back to him.

"Could you put it back where you found it? You'll probably not let me back in the office."

"Very well." He took the paper from you, leaving the room without another word.

"You, Mx Decider, need to work on your manners." Pulcinella gave you a side-eye.

"I have manners, but I won't give them to people who killed at least 30 people because they couldn't 'find the person they were looking for'. And then proceeded to kidnap them and--"

"I am getting tired of your blathering." He cut you off, a vein very clear on his head.

"One would say you act worse than Tonia back in Snezhnaya, but that would be a compliment. The situation is over and done now, I don't think you realise how much trouble you're actually in at this moment."

"Well, old man, everyone has a different coping method for traumatic situations. It just so happens that one of mine is joking and yapping on and on and on--"

"Understood. Just, shut up for the sake of my headache." He rubbed his head with his fingers, effectively shushing you.

Ahh, being annoying truly has its perks no matter who you annoy. From a scolding mother, to a bloodthirsty harbinger.

Anyway, you have an idea. You may look like an idiot trying, but you have evidence it could work.

All the Harbingers called you 'The Decider', meaning they recognised you before you even met them. This must mean they were aware of your existence before they left the game and entered your world.

Arlecchino in particular, she commented on Aether's existence being involved with your title. This means you're tied to him in some way. Perhaps.. If you were to log in to Genshin again you could ask him what in the fuck was going on.

You're not the smartest person, but this seems like the most obvious choice right now. You wish you could say the same for it being the easiest choice.

You hadn't logged into Genshin since you were forcefully taken out of the bathroom's in the restaurant. Were you really ready to go back to Genshin? The game which started all of this?

This is definitely not two (technically three) weeks late or anything... ahahah....

I, 100%, purposefully uploaded this on Valentine's Day.

Yup.

Anyway, I'm very unsatisfied with this. But I really wanted to post it. I'll try to make the next one as long as possible since I'd like to personally not make too many views...

One day, I'll most likely combine some shorter ones into one whole view if that makes sense :3 (I think I've mentioned this before...)

Please don't expect too many happy, nice and generally fluffy scenes.

This is Yandere, a genre which should never, under any circumstance be considered normal. It's abusive, unhealthy and leads to a lot of victims facing awful conditions which they never should or ever have to endure no matter who they are.

This is fiction that I'm writing, meaning it's all taken light-heartedly IN A FICTIONAL SENSE.

If anyone, by chance, is currently in conditions where a loved-one or yourself has suddenly become distant and/or being hurt when away from eyes please get help. Talk to them, or if it's you, talk to someone you know you can trust.

If you can't talk to anyone, find authorities who can help you. Call 999, as it is in the U.K, or your local emergency service. They will always help you, and will never deny your rights or freedom.

Thanks for reading this, I hope all who's reading knows this information already, but I thought I'd include it since who knows when it comes to where you are in the world and whether your education programs taught critical information like this.

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[determinate-negation]

It was the first of at least four strikes involving multiple munitions on different sections of the sprawling complex between 1 a.m. and 10 a.m. Friday morning. Al-Shifa’s director, Dr. Mohammed Abu Salmiya, said in a phone interview that seven people had been killed and several others had been wounded.

Hours after the final blast, the Israeli military blamed unspecified Palestinian militants, saying a “misfired projectile” aimed at Israel Defense Forces troops deployed nearby had instead hit the hospital.

But at least three of the projectiles that struck it appear to have been Israeli munitions, according to pictures of weapons fragments collected and verified by The New York Times and analyzed by experts.

The strikes did not cause mass casualties, but Israel is under increasing international pressure to avoid targeting hospitals. Al-Shifa has emerged as a particular flashpoint: Israel contends it has evidence that the hospital sits on top of an underground Hamas command center and has been warning those still inside to evacuate, even as its troops have been actively working to surround the facility. Hospital officials deny Hamas operates there and have said patients are dying for lack of food, fuel and other supplies.

Israel’s assertion that Al-Shifa was actually hit by a Palestinian projectile echoed similar — and unresolved — claims and counterclaims following munitions that hit the courtyard of another Gaza hospital, Al-Ahli, nearly a month ago.

The evidence reviewed by The Times from Al-Shifa points more directly to strikes by Israel — whether on purpose or by accident is unclear.

In addition to the weapons remnants, an analysis of video footage shows that three of the projectiles were fired into the hospital from the north and south, contrary to the western trajectory indicated on a map released by the I.D.F., which it said was based on radar detections. A review of satellite images showed there were I.D.F. positions north and south of the hospital early Friday.

The strikes analyzed by The Times did not appear to be targeting underground infrastructure. Two of the most severe strikes hit upper floors of the maternity ward.

The I.D.F. declined to comment on the evidence presented by The Times. It said that Israeli forces had been engaged in an intense battle against Hamas and that because of the “specific military activity currently underway, we are unable to address or confirm specific queries.”

[gothhabiba]

From the Palestinian Red Crescent's twitter, 13 November 2023:

🔴 Al-Quds Hospital still under intense gunfire.

🔴 The IDF claims to be attacking a "Hamas terrorist" who is firing a rocket-propelled grenade launcher from Al-Quds.

🔴 The main power generator at Al-Amal Hospital stopped working. The hospital is currently relying on a very small generator to supply electricity only to the maternity ward and emergency lighting. Remaining fuel is expected to run out within the next 24 hours.

11:01 AM:

"🚨 The vicinity of Al-Quds Hospital 🏥 is still witnessing intense gunfire, with the presence of Israeli military vehicles. Our staff are trapped with patients and the wounded, without electricity, water, or food. We hope for their safety. 🙏"

1:10 PM, in response to this tweet from @IDF:

[ID: Tweet by Israel Defense Forces (@IDF) at 3:22pm on November 13 reading: "What could these Hamas terrorists possibly be doing with an RPG at the Quds Hospital?" Attached is a 20-second drone video of the hospital with overlaid text reading "Enemy fire from the entrance of the 'Al-Quds' Hospital towards IDF troops: terrorist with RPG launcher."

The PRCS issued a statement reading:

🚨 The Palestine RCS strongly condemns the false claims by the occupying forces about armed individuals launching projectiles from inside Al-Quds Hospital. The PRCS sees these claims as a blatant attempt to incite further targeting and besieging of the hospital, constituting a clear violation of international humanitarian law. ❌ PRCS rejects these baseless allegations, as the published video clearly shows that the armed individuals approached from the street while the occupation tanks were stationed in front of and shielded by the hospital, endangering the lives of medical teams and patients. The PRCS confirms that there are no armed individuals inside the hospital, and no shots have been fired from within. Everyone within the hospital are patients, their families, and the medical staff. 📣 PRCS calls on the international community to intervene immediately to protect its teams besieged inside the hospital, facing imminent danger with each passing moment.

4:22 PM:

"🛑 Today's attempt to evacuate Al-Quds Hospital failed after the IOF decided to return the designated evacuation convoy to the association's branch in Khan Younis, despite receiving prior approval.

"🚨 The decision was rationalized by referring to a security incident in the vicinity, despite the convoy undergoing thorough inspection. It is noteworthy that yesterday, displaced individuals were allowed to exit through a route specified by the occupation forces, under specific and challenging conditions.

"🧑‍⚕ Our medical teams, patients,and the wounded, along with their companions, remain trapped inside the hospital without food, water, or electricity, and their is 300 person."

4:49 PM:

"🚨 ⚠️ Today, the sole power generator at Al-Amal Hospital, affiliated with the PRCS in Khan Younis, stopped working. This threatens the lives of 90 patients receiving treatment, including 25 in the medical rehabilitation section who now face the risk of death at any moment. Additionally, around 9,000 displaced individuals have sought refuge in the PRCS premises and the hospital.

" 🏥 The hospital is currently relying on a very small generator to supply electricity only to the maternity ward and emergency lighting. It's important to note that the remaining fuel is expected to run out within the next 24 hours.

"🛑 The power generator's failure is impacting the operations of both the PRCS headquarters and Al-Amal Hospital, which includes the emergency operations room for the Gaza Strip. This has resulted in a loss of communication with the operation rooms scattered across the Gaza sector and the cessation of VHF communication services."

[foamofthe-sea]

Found some questions rummaging through the xiv tags while I wait for this social event to start so send a number and I'll answer it? Feel free to reblog and do the same.

1. Where were they during the Calamity? 

2. How did they acquire their Echo? 

3. Does their Echo function like it does in the MSQ? Or is there a twist to it? 

4. Do they have a canon mount or minion? What's its name(s)? 

5. Where are they from? What was their childhood like?

6. How did they deal with the massacre on the Waking Sands?  

7. How did they deal with Haurchefant's death? 

8. How did they feel about the liberation of Ala Mhigo? Do they feel it could have been handled differently? Where they at all bothered by how they were involved? 

9. How do they feel about Zenos? 

10. How do they feel about their relationship with Hydaelyn? Midgarsormr?

11. Were they more sympathetic to the dragons, Ishgardians, neither or both? 

12. How has their job affected whatever headcanon version is of the MSQ if any? 

13. Are they close with any of the other Scions? Who do they get along with the best? 

14. Of the Scions, who are they most worried for? 

15. Is your WoL promiscuous? Celibate? Or just waiting for the right person? 

16. What does your WoL do to relax? What sorts of distractions do they seek? Do they foster any bad habits as a result?

17. Who is their favorite Alliance leader? Who do they get along with the best out of them? 

18. Does your WoL fully embrace their role as the WoL or do they try to remain humble? 

19. What do they think of the Heaven's Ward? 

20. Of all the places they've been to, which is their favorite? Do they like to go back there? 

21. Are there any raid storylines (Ivalice, Coil of Bahamut, Werlyt, etc.) you consider to be canon for your WoL? Which ones don't you consider canon? 

22. Do you  have a unique tale for their job class or is it pretty much like what it is in the game?

23. Are there any side quest storylines that you're particularly fond of or think of as being canon to your WoL's experiences? 

24. Does your WoL have any phobias? 

25. Do they have any habits or rituals that they do to soothe themselves? I.e. Playing with their hair, chewing their lip, fidgeting, etc. 

26. Do they suffer any traumas from any of their adventures? How do you foresee this affecting them going forward? 

27. How did the events of Shadowbringers impact them? 

28. Were they suspicious or open to Emet-Selch's presence when he first appeared? 

29. Did your WoL suspect anything was amiss with Urianger or the Crystal Exarch? Did they feel betrayed? Upset? When the truth finally emerged? 

30. What was their highest point in Shadowbringers? Their lowest? What caused it? 

31. What were their first impressions of Hien? 

32. Did they trust Asahi right away? Why or why not? 

33. How did they feel about what happened with Yotsuyu? Did they feel like she was justified in her actions?

34. Would you say your WoL is fundamentally a good person? Or are they a bad person that's been persuaded to do the right things? 

35. How do they feel about the fact that they've killed a lot of people and/or things?

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

You may wonder what this whole Awesome Coffee Club thing is all about. Today I was reminded what it’s all about:

In 2019, the unpaid intern who runs this tumblr account visited Sierra Leone’s Kono District. Kono is the among the most impoverished communities in the world due to a long history of enslavement, colonialism, and civil war. A decade ago, Kono’s healthcare system was in a state of collapse--clinics had no running water or electricity or paid staff, and inconsistent supplies of medications and other necessities.

As a result, Kono was the epicenter of the global maternal mortality crisis: One out of every seventeen women could expect to die in childbirth. Over 10% of children died before the age of five. 

Beginning in 2014, Partners in Health began working with Sierra Leone’s Ministry of Health to bring change. This started with the basics at the region’s hospital, Koidu Government Hospital: running water, 24-hour electricity, and hiring nurses, community healthworkers, cooks, facilities management staff, and so much more. 

At the time, KGH’s maternity ward had a dirt floor. Many people were dying for want of an emergency C-section or a blood transfusion. By 2019, this was getting better--two functioning operating rooms were able to perform C-sections, and a blood bank could address postpartum hemorrhaging. But it was still inadequate, and maternal and child mortality were horrifyingly routine.

To address the crisis, PIH Sierra Leone directors Jon Lascher and Dr. Baillor Barrie wanted to build a world-class maternal and child health center that could save thousands of lives yearly while also serving as a teaching hospital to train the next generation of Sierra Leonean healthcare workers. They told us they needed $25,000,000 to break ground, and would probably eventually need another $25,000,000 to support the hospital’s operation over its first few years.

I am, as unpaid interns go, doing quite well, but not THAT well. So our family committed what we could and asked others to join us, and within two years, we passed that $25,000,000 goal. Together, we’ve now raised close to $40,000,000. 

Today, I visited the site of the Maternal Center of Excellence, the first wards of which will hopefully open next year. Nearly all of the construction team are from Kono, and 65% of them are women--they work as welders, engineers, planners, laborers, and so much more. You see three of them above. I had the privilege of talking with them about this project. The young woman to the right, Success, told me that her dream is to work for the hospital her whole life, helping to maintain and support it. One of the other women told me, “We are passionate about this work because it is the future of our country. And we know that we and our friends will someday give birth here.” I am so proud that our projects support their training and livelihood, and so grateful to have them as colleagues in this work.

The hospital--which will include over 100 maternal beds, a NICU, and enough operating suites to perform over 10 emergency C-sections per day, will also require ongoing funding for staff, stuff, systems, maintenance, and more. Our hope is that open-ended projects like the Awesome Coffee Club and Awesome Socks Club can help provide that funding, although the most efficient way to support this project is to donate directly! 

So that’s why this tumblr, and the awesome coffee club, exists. World-class maternal and infant healthcare is coming to Kono, a wonderful and  too long impoverished by colonialism and extractive capitalism. It is only a first step. There is so long to go. But what a first step.

[yaut-jaknowit]

False Freedom

Pairing: We'ar-ow (Female Yautja) x GN!Reader

Word Count: 3659

Summary: You're let to roam around the ship at your free will. Not like you could escape easily. Only to run into trouble.

Author Note: Any errors, let me know!

P.S. Happy Thanksgiving! As a gift to you guys, I'm gonna post two things today. Stay tuned!

Masterlist

Ao3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17

The plain metal door slid behind you and clicked with a lock. Most of the tightness in your chest that made it hard to breath washed away. It freed you to relax and slump against the forementioned door. You still couldn’t believe that We’ar-ow had allowed you to leave her quarters… by yourself. She had said it would be good for you or something like that. Go explore, be curious.

Yeah, you’ll surely be curious as you map out an escape route from her room and towards the ships. That was your plan A for escape. It might take time to figure out how to operate one of them. Thankfully, the tablet should help you that. Give you the basics on learning on how to fly an alien spaceship. You sighed heavily through your nose and pushed off of the door.

Without We’ar-ow marching in front of you, leading you to wherever she wanted, this new found freedom was nice. The unfortunate new mark carved into the top of your back would further ensure a single Yautja wouldn’t dare hurt you. Nervously, you glanced down at the tablet and silently reminded yourself. If trouble was to rise, We’ar-ow could be called with a single button. Nothing bad should happen though… right?

You rapidly shook your held before standing tall, shoulder squared and chin level. Who cares? If you didn’t start now, you’ll be stuck here for longer. An extra day, an extra hour, minute, it did not matter. Extra time you didn’t want to be for. Then, you finally started a path towards the elevator door.

One of the things We’ar-ow has given you is a code. A code to enter most places on the ship. Most, but not all. You hadn’t encouraged yourself to ask if that meant the bay for the ships.

In all honesty, We’ar-ow expects you to try and escape, as close to impossible that is. Nothing is impossible though. Aliens were thought to not exist at all but look where you were currently, in space, so far from home, from earth.

The number pad clicked at every touch before chiming a high-pitch beep. The elevator doors finally opened at your command. You entered it swiftly and pressed the needed button to go the floor destined. Afterwards, you mess about on the table to pull up the map system that showed the entire layout of the ship.

Once it came to stop and opened to reveal a mostly empty hall, you stepped out and gaze both ways. Only a few bodies filled the area, none that paid attention to you. Thankfully. From there you used the map to start an unsteady path to your right.

The mothership was exactly the same on either side. What differentiated between them was the placements of the sparring rooms and the cafeterias by the looks of it. There were probably smaller, less noticeable changes that didn’t matter. You did your best to remember where the emergency escape pods were for one of the halls that connected with this one. The pods were on the outer edge of the ship.

As for one of the hangars, those were closer to the belly of the ship. There seemed to be a huge cargo bay down there as well for supplies and whatnot. Just the extra stuff needed to survive in case of an emergency or such. These aliens surely know what they’re doing when it comes to this kind of thing. Space, beautiful but extremely dangerous.

Through the lowly trickle of people, you stayed off to the side, out of their way, and head bowed to follow the map. Thankfully, no one gave you trouble, either warded off by We’ar-ow’s scent on you or the sight at of her mark scaring your skin. Whatever it was, worked. They stayed away as you went on your marry way down this hall and onto the next.

The hairs at the base of your neck rose sharply. Every instinct that controlled your body reverted to a prey mindset as you paused mid-step. Only a few feet into this new hallway. The sounds of your heartbeat thundered in your ears as the only thing you could do was freeze. Freeze like a deer in headlights, watching their doom approach them.

Unlike that, you didn’t know what was following you. Who or what was watching you so closely, so deadly. It caused your skin to crawl and prickle.

Every instinct screamed at you to move or even press the button. To know that there was hope that someone on this alien ship was willing to protect you. Even if it was someone you would happily slash her throat and promptly run for your life.

Your bottom lip found its way to be worried on between dull teeth. Then, your hovering foot came down to complete a hesitant step. Despite your ancient instincts trying to drive you away from this place, you ignored it and kept going. If you turned tail to run away from whoever this was, you could only be seen more of the coward the Yautjas saw your kind as. You pushed through and continued this pathing down the infinite hallway.

All you wanted to do was map out the area for an escape.

From the weight of the unknown stare, you knew it wasn’t We’ar-ow. There couldn’t be a possible way for her to reach this level moments after you and get to that hall before you. Plus, that heat… Your skin crawled, knowing whoever it was wanted you dead.

Dwainet came to mind but it’s not only him that felt threatened by your presence. Other Yautjas have shown and expressed their dislike for you since you’ve arrived so long ago. You don’t think Dwainet would show himself near you after the beat down with We’ar-ow either. Not when she played with him like a skilled warrior and a child sparring. It was all a game to her.

.

Off to the side, you stopped to study the map a little more closely. A few shoot offs of other halls connected to this main hallway. A few shops lined this side, vendors selling various things from weapons to jewelry of sorts.

As the human you were, curiosity gripped your heart and tugged on it. Timidly in the near empty hall, you approached the lonely vendor that had a few weapons and armor in his section. Despite wishing he wouldn’t take notice of your form, his eyes darted as you grew closer. You cursed mentally and turned to leave. Death wasn’t on your list of plans today.

The male Yautja chirped, the translator staying silent behind your ear. With his head, he motioned for you to come back towards him. Instead, you stayed put, unsure if fleeing was an option, if he would give chase to hunt you down.

“Come hereth. I see the interest in your alien eyes, ooman,” he commanded, voice high, airy. Well shit. You held the tablet to your chest while your eyes scanned the objects set up on the tables. “You’re the Monarch’s pet, aren’t you?” Your knuckles turned a shade of white but you nodded.

This new Yautja placed a hand on the table and leaned over the weapons. The inside of your cheek started to bleed from how hard you were biting it to distract yourself, some. His warm breath fanned over your face, spilt tongue darting out to taste the air. “Pick something,” he stated and stood straight once more.

It took some willpower not to let shock morph over your features. Was this a trick of sorts to lie and say you stole something? No one would believe you, a pet, would have currency to buy things. You turned your head to look at him from the corner of your eye with suspicion.

He chuckled and put his hands on his hips, thumbs slipping into the waistband of his pants. “Ah, you are smarter than the average ooman. I give credit where it is due.” His alien smirk fell though as he peered straight at you. “Seriously though, pick something. Anything of the sort.”

His words are what caught your attention and the way he spoke carefully. This Yautja was offering for you to pick something but hadn’t said you could have it. Play this smart, don’t cause trouble.

On the table between the two of you, your eyes swiftly darted from item to item before landing on a small dagger. The smallest of them all and closest to fit more comfortably in your own hand.

Carefully, you pointed out the dagger. “That one.” You didn’t touch it or anything on the table, not playing into his hands. You hoped.

A grin spread across his face, upper mandibles both flaring. An action you could almost was a challenge or threat of sorts. Yet, you stayed where you stood without moving, a white-knuckle grip still held onto the tablet in your hands.

He once more rested a palm against the table and leaned in closer then before. “Ahhh, you are harder to trick than the average ooman. Glad to see it.” Then, strangely enough, he held out his hand towards you, a human gesture. “I am called Wourk. You may take the weapon as a prize. I give you the blade, free of charge.”

Once more, you looked at the newly named Wourk closely. His hand still hovered in the air, you decided to play it safe and not take it. “Why?” you questioned in all honesty. It would a loss to him. Why give up product for nothing in return? You did not trust this Yautja, not one bit.

Wourk snorted and leaned away from you. “Some secrets are meant to stay hidden. Take the blade. It is yours to weld,” he answered. You narrowed your eyes on him once more before finally forcefully uncurling one of your hands. Your knuckles painfully ached at how hard you had been squeezing the tablet, creaking from the movement.

Your eyes darted between your limb and himself, to ensure he wasn’t going to double cross you. The lukewarm metal touched against your fingertips. Wourk hadn’t moved and just watched with amusement.

Swiftly, you snatched back your hand with the dagger. Now further from him, you respectfully bowed your head. “Thank you,” you said politely before inspecting the craftmanship of it. With the limited knowledge, the metal reflected light off of it. “It’s beautiful.” The Yautja hummed, an upper mandible jerking upwards.

This entire time, he was just entertaining himself during the slow periods. You gazed back up at him with just a hint of a smile. Oh, you poor ooman.

“Run along, ooman.” Wourk leaned back on another tablet behind him and used a hand in a shooing motion. Your face turned sour but you did stalk away without giving him another word. Despite rarely being around other Yautjas besides Dwainet and now We’ar-ow, there was no kindness in their biology. Just straight to the point.

When you reentered the barely filled hallway, a shiver ran its course through your body. Goosebumps raised the hairs along your arms. Watchful, observant eyes pinned you down where you stood. You did your best to shake it off and slip the blade into your pocket, hoping it wouldn’t cut the fabric or yourself somehow.

With the tablet once more leading you through the halls, you meander your way. Just a helpless ooman, figuring their way on a ship alien to you.

A ooman that’s so weak, pathetic, just one flex of his muscles could snap their fragile neck. A ooman he stalked, watched, carefully in the halls of the mothership. The ooman could not sense him in any way, that he knew of. He was safe, using his cloak to keep from their sight. One day, he’ll extinguish the damned creature’s heart. Like the way it deserved to be as the weak link.

His prowess aided him as he stalked after it. Every step calculated to ensure there wasn’t a chance he could be seen. He watched as a vendor gave you a small, useless blade and sent you on your way. If he were to attack, like that could do anything damaging to him. No, he’ll have your head pulled from your body before the thought to use it could cross your mind.

There was nothing and no one that could stop him. A Yautja on the hunt with his prey before him… only he had to play this smart. He couldn’t have the murder coming back to him. The Monarch would deprive him of life he guessed from the way she defended it. A game this Yautja was willing to play. The hunt, always, always fun.

Taking turns to more populated areas of the ship, you fast-walked without drawing attention to yourself away from here. Anywhere safer than those eyes. The eyes that had yet to leave no matter what you did. No matter what turn, where you headed, they stalked your every move.

In all honestly, you had hit every section on this level just to escape. But it followed. Your heart pounded violently in your ears at each twist and turn. Without realizing it, you had begun running and now heading towards the elevator. The area wasn’t heavily populated, probably desolate at this point but you needed to get to the safety of We’ar-ow’s room. At least, hopefully, no one could reach you there. That you knew off, possibly.

Your hand slammed against the number pad to open the door in frantic feeling. Whatever was chasing kept pace, easily and calmly. The device screeched at the incorrect code, snapping you for a moment out of your thoughts. The code was shakily inputted. After the three time, it finally took it and opened up.

All it took was three seconds to react, get in, and smash a fist against the button to close. Your back was to the furthest wall as you waited for the doors to seal shut. The only thing you could do was watch and pray it doesn’t get in here before they shut.

Either it was toying with you or wasn’t as quick as you believed it to be, the doors were able to close fully. The tightness in your chest fell away as you  took a shaky step forward and pressed the needed button to We’ar-ow’s room.

With the eyes off of you, relief briefly flooded your system and allowed a moment to think and truly breathe. Air filled your lung completely for the first time within the hour. You settled against the wall next to the buttons for a moment. Long enough for the elevator to stop on the desired floor and open up to reveal the short, blank walkway to her door.

Hesitancy kept you stuck in the elevator as you just stared at the door. From one monster to another…

Something small, minute, in the belly of your stomach didn’t sit well with that thought. We’ar-ow hasn’t been outright cruel or abusive… besides the branding marring your skin. Everything else, it was all gifts or kind gestures. The tablet, the cushion, the clothing. Yeah, everything someone would do for their pet, but she hasn’t been cruel to you.

The doors in front of you started to close. In a panic, you rushed forward and slipped through before they shut. So close to the entrance of the lion’s den. You swallowed thickly, unsure how much more stress in one day you could handle.

Behind you, the elevator made a thud noise, terrifying you out of your mind. In an instant, you sprinted forward, abandoning the tablet on the ground. Your shoulder roughly met the door as you tried to run it over but it held steady. Frantic and terrified, you banged on the door, voice caught in your throat.

You fell forward but caught yourself barely for a massive hand to push you further into the room. Everything was a blur until your mind could finally catch up to see the scene before you.

We’ar-ow, in all of her mighty, snarling glory, stood defensively before you. Her long, lethal claws glinting in her quarter’s light as her fingers flexed, ready to tear into flesh and bone. A threatening, dangerous snarl ripped through her throat, daring, challenging anyone to take step forward. Nothing, no one did.

Her door closed, sealing the two of you safely in her place. From the overwhelming, mind breaking terror running through your veins, you fell to your knees and wrapped your arms around yourself. That didn’t help an ounce to calm yourself down.

Your breaths were ragged, tearing at your throat. Hot tears poured down your face as you stayed kneeled on the ground and stared blankly. In your mind, you were far too caught in the whirlwind to notice anything in the real world. Had you just escaped death from whatever stalked you? A broken whine came from your dry throat.

Something warm, rough engulfed your jaw and forced your head to tilt up. A few second passed. Your eyes finally focused on We’ar-ow kneeling down, completely on her knees and checking over you. Clicks sounded from her mandibles and throat but the buzzing in your head drowned out the translator. You had no clue what was being spoken, nor did you care. The droning noise consumed everything. Nothing made sense right now.

One second you were on the floor. The next, you were being carried swiftly somewhere. We’ar-ow set you down on a cool ledge in what looked to be the bathroom. All you did was make the smallest noise of confusion while staring blankly at the light floors of the bathroom.

Freezing water splashed against your face, tearing you from your thoughts. You gasped harshly and squirmed to get off of the counter, but strong, sturdy arms held you in place. They were pinned on either side of you and kept you trapped.

“Look at me.”

Harsh words were snapped with trickles of what could believed as worry. Your head jerked up, eyes darting to find orange blazing orbs staring into your soul. There was something about that just almost soothed your soul instantly. Instead, you just stopped moving.

“Good, good pet,” she cooed and raised a hand to pet the top your head only to grab the strands. Her hand pulled slightly back to expose the column of your throat to her. “What happened?” Her voice was still softer, even gentler than before as she questioned you.

At the moment, all you could do was give a pathetic, broken cry that barely passed the lump in your throat. We’ar-ow leaned in closer to rest her close mandibles against where your neck and shoulder meet. At first, you tensed up and relaxed, her hand the only thing keeping you sitting up. “Who hurt you?” she tried again, staying soft and inviting. “Tell me who hurt you, my pet.”

A purr began to rumble deep in her chest. It was a sound you hadn’t heard before from the pink Yautja. Dwainet… he’s done it before, so many times before for you. This was different, somehow, someway.

You cleared your throat the best to get rid of the majority of the lump to speak. “I-I-“ your voice cracked, dry from all the running. “Don’t kn-ow.” We’ar-ow continued her purring as she pulled back enough to fill a hand with water. She brought it up to your lips. Too desperate to wash away the scratches in your throat, you gulped it down. The Yautja did this two more times for you.

“What happened?” Now, We’ar-ow was look straight into your eyes, no longer purring. Nervous from the eye contact, your gaze darts around the bathroom. She wasn’t going to let that go. Instead, she grasped your chin once more and forced you to look at me. In her eyes, she wanted to know the truth of how you ended up as a terrified, trembling mess at her door.

Both of your hands played mindlessly with the helm of the shirt she gave you. Then, you explained from the moment you stepped out into the hall and all the way back to her room. The entire time, she didn’t let her or your eyes leave as much as that made you anxious.

Once the last word left your lips, We’ar-ow stood in silence. The cog wheels in her head spun.

Out of nowhere, We’ar-ow scooped you from the counter and held you bridal style. The strength of her body easily taking you from the bathroom to… her bed? The low, half above ground mattress of sorts was neatly put together with furs and blankets. Four pillows lined the head of the bed. The Yautja knelt down to pull at the covers before slipping you underneath them.

The terror and complete puzzlement that controlled your body at that moment held you in place. What was she doing?! We’ar-ow pulled the covers over you, up to your chest and stood back up. “Stay. I will investigate,” she said before turning to take her leave.

Deep down, from the pits of your mind, you wanted nothing more to reach out and stop her. The words ‘wait’ on your tongue. But she was out the door before you could gather the courage to do so.

Her bedroom door closed and made a clicking noise. A lock? But… why? Why did she not take you to your room? Why her room? You gulped and ran a hand through the strands of your messed up hair. All of that running and freaking out did nothing for your hair.

A shaky breath filled the air as you look over the room. Back on her wall of trophies, those human skulls stared at you with their empty eye sockets. One day, will she turn you into that?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14 | Part 15 | Part 16 | Part 17

[wintersoldiersoul]

Hi.

Saw you are taking requests.

I got shingles the weekend close to my birthday, i confuse it with allergy because i am allergic to basically anything and then on my 24th birthday i got that it was actually shingles, doctor told me that my immune system went down and that is why i got it. Before that i was under so much stress because of work that i developed burn out and had to quit my job (literally spent months, weeks of my life visiting the emergency ward because i kept getting sick due to stress and burn out) probably that Triggered the shingles.

Could you write something with Bucky in which the reader suffers similar sh**? I just need comfort from my fave character 😭

If you dont feel comfortable is fine, i understand 😁

KUDOS!

I'm so sorry you went through that! I hope you are much better now. I tried to make this as medically accurate as possible (I texted my friend in med school LOL) but I am definitely not a doctor so if some stuff isn't accurate, just pretend it is.

You threw your hair up into a ponytail to get it out of your face. Hours slumped over at your desk weren't doing any favors. You grabbed the energy drink and chugged it to prevent your eyes from closing. You were almost done with this assignment. Just a little bit longer, you told yourself. 

Working full time and being a grad student was taking a toll on you. You spent every day from 9-5 in your office and every night from 6-10 in classes. You crammed homework in anywhere you could, which often meant staying up most of the night. It was approaching 4am, now. 

The office door creaked open and Bucky strolled in, sleep still filling his eyes. “Baby,” he sighed. “Come to bed.” He had woken up and the bed was cold without you beside him. He walked over to you, kissing your forehead.

“Can’t,” you mumbled without looking up from your computer.

“You gotta get some sleep, darlin’.”

You sneezed, still typing away. “I’m fi-” your words were interrupted by another sneeze.

Bucky stood, looking at you with a stern expression. “Well look at that. You’re getting sick.” 

You waved your hand. “No, I’m not. It’s just allergies,” you said, sniffling. “You know this time of year is bad.” The past few months, you had been sick on and off multiple times. A cold, a small fever, you were sick more than you weren’t. 

“Honey, please just get some sleep. You haven’t slept in days.” He was practically begging. He knew how much stress you were under and getting no sleep wasn’t going to help. He was extremely worried about you.

“Just give me 10 more minutes, okay?” You compromised.

“Fine. But I’m sitting right here and setting a timer. The second it goes off, I’m carrying you to bed.”

He did exactly that, throwing you over his shoulder when you didn’t get up immediately at the ring of his phone. Despite the intense amounts of caffeine you had consumed, you fell asleep the second your head hit the pillow.

Bucky woke up before you the next morning, smiling at your sleeping form. Your hair was sprawled over your face and he gently pushed it away to kiss your cheek. But as soon as he moved the strands, he noticed that your cheeks were flushed. He put the back of his flesh hand on your skin. Heat radiated off of your face before he even touched you. You were definitely sick.

He got up, being careful not to wake you. He left the bedroom returning a few minutes later with water, Advil, and a thermometer. You groaned as your alarm rang, sending shooting pains into your skull. You groaned, opening your eyes. You felt like absolute shit. Your whole body ached, your throat was on fire, and even your skin hurt.

“You’re sick.” Bucky stated, as if he was informing you.

“Yeah, I can tell,” you retorted, wincing at the pain in every cell of your body. He smiled softly, brushing your hair behind your ears. 

“I got you some water and Advil. Can I take your temperature, doll?”

You nodded and he put the thermometer under your tongue. He looked it, eyes widening. “Shit baby, that’s not good. Your temp is 102.8. How do you feel?”

“Horrible,” you pouted.

He sighed. “I’m not surprised. That’s a really high fever, baby. I think we should go to the doctor.”

You groaned, not wanting to move. You felt so horrible that the thought of having to get up and out of bed was a nightmare. You felt like you couldn’t stay awake, eyes closing no matter how hard you tried to keep them open. “Can’t move,” you whispered, coughing slightly. “My whole body hurts so much. Just wanna sleep.”

Bucky didn’t know what to do. In his mind, sickness meant calling a doctor. He had spent so many years worrying about Steve back in the 40s, sitting with him while he got looked at. He still wasn’t used to how things were today. The google search he did on his phone told him that if your fever went above 103, to take you to the hospital. In his opinion, you were close enough that he wanted to rush you there right now, but he could see how exhausted you were.

“Alright, rest for now. But if it gets worse we’re going to the hospital.” You didn’t even hear him as you had already fallen back to sleep.

You woke up in a daze, cold sweat clinging to your body. You were shivering aggressively, shaking the entire bed. “Babe?” Bucky said, noticing you were awake. “You cold?”

You nodded, teeth chattering. He quickly grabbed you another blanket, wrapping you up like a burrito. He wrapped his arms around you, hoping that his body heat would help, too. One of the major perks of dating a super soldier was that the chances of getting him sick were very slim. He held you as close as possible, trying to keep you warm. “Oh, honey,” he whispered, voice dripping with sympathy.

 “Can you take your temperature again for me?” He asked after your shivering had subsided a little bit. You put the thermometer back in your mouth, waiting for the beep. Bucky took it from you, heart stopping as he looked. “I know you don’t wanna move, but we gotta go to the ER. You’re at 103.6. That’s really really bad.”

You groaned. You felt so horrible, his words barely even registered in your mind. He picked you up and carried you to the car, whispering words of encouragement along the way. You closed your eyes again, finding it physically impossible to stay awake. Bucky held your hand the entire car ride before picking you up and carrying you into the ER. He let you sleep as you waited, positioning your head on his shoulder. He constantly watched you to make sure you were still breathing. He didn’t wanna wake you until he absolutely had to.

When you were finally called in, he shook you gently. “Can you walk?” He asked. You weakly nodded and he helped you to your feet letting you lean on his body as you went to the exam room.

The doctor hooked you up to an IV immediately to hydrate your sick body as they examined you.

“How have you been sleeping?” She asked you.

“Um, not great,” you answered, voice sounding raspy. “I’ve been under a lot of stress.”

“She hasn’t slept in a week,” Bucky interjected. “She’s been getting sick a lot these past few months since she started grad school.”

The doctor nodded. “Okay that’s very good to know.” She proceeded to ask you a few more questions and then said, “Did you have chicken-pox as a kid?”

You nodded. “Yeah. When I was 5.”

She carefully rolled up your shirt, revealing a rash on your side. “It looks like you have shingles. The stress you’ve been under seems to have weakened your immune system which is why you’ve been getting sick so much. It makes sense that with all of that the virus would come back now.”

Bucky held your hand. He was relieved that you had a diagnosis but of course he was terrified. Back in his time, that would have been a death sentence. “Is she gonna be okay?”

“I’ll be fine, Buck,” you answered. 

“Yes,” the doctor agreed. “We’re gonna keep her here for at least tonight because your fever is so high. But you will be okay.”

Bucky exhaled. “Oh, thank god.”

“Can I go to sleep now?” You asked the doctor. You were so exhausted.

“Yes. I’ll let you rest,” she smiled before leaving the room.

“I’m so sorry you feel so shitty,” Bucky said, holding your hand. “Will this make you take it easy?”

“I don’t know what I can do to change anything,” you said with tear filled eyes. “Literally the only time I have to get things done is in the middle of the night.”

He looked into your eyes. He wanted to help you so badly that his heart ached. He wanted you to be happy and healthy. “What if you quit your job?” He suggested. “You only took this as a temporary thing anyway. I know you don’t wanna stay there when you’re done with school.”

“I can’t not have a job, Bucky,” you argued.

“Baby,” he looked in your eyes. “Do you have any clue how much the Avengers pay me?” He smirked. “Trust me, you don’t need a job.” You opened your mouth to argue, ready to tell him that you didn’t need his money. “I know you’re your own person and you can make your own money. And one day, with that brain, you will make so much all on your own. But baby, you’re drowning. You’ve been sick more days than not the past few months. Please, let me take care of you. Just for a bit. I’d never tell you what to do and if you really wanna stay, you can. But you’re killing yourself, darling. And I can’t just sit back and watch as it happens. Just think about it. Please.”

You lazily smiled. “Okay. I’ll think about it. But not right now. Right now, I need to sleep.”

He stroked your hair and kissed your forehead. “Go to sleep, my love. I’ll be right here when you wake up.” 

[mariocki]

A very brief turn by Frazer Hines, as stable hand Jem, in Peter Diamond's pilot for a proposed adventure series Lochinvar (1968). There was little interest in the pilot or any subsequent series, and ultimately the sole filmed episode was never transmitted - it survived in the hands of director/producer Diamond until his family donated the film stock to Kaleidoscope a few years ago.

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 3 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 4

Summary : Disastrous Dinner with your parents leads to a small quarrel between you two.

Warning: Smoking, mention of recreational drug use, insecurities, a bit of angst, not so great parenting , 4.5 k words

After your mom left you immediately took a shower to cool down a little bit, it was 10 am and you had plenty of time to prepare for the evening.

He went to the bathroom after you and when he came out you could feel him staring at you but he wasn't saying anything.

"What?" You looked at him so he averted his gaze and pretended to read his book. "Gotta call my boss, i don't think I can go to work today"

You mumbled as you dialed the manager's number and put it on speaker phone because you wanted to paint your toenails.

"Hiii Mark it's y/n" you said cheerfully and you heard him grumbling in response. Just great

"I just ..uhh wanted to tell you that I won't be able to make it today, sooo"

"Whyyyyy?"

"Uhhh it's a family emergency"

"You can't just take a leave out of nowhere, you have to inform way beforehand, " he said, clearly sounding upset. Did he understand the meaning of emergency? Doofus

"Yeah I would have but it's umm I don't think you heard me right. I said that my family's car was hit by a bulldozer and some of them were still in it. And now they're in an emergency ward so I have to go see them..see you tomorrow byee" you tapped on your head in frustration as you hung up "Argggghh I hate this day already"

Also, why did you have to keep the phone on the speaker?

"So your mother seem ..a bit ahhh –" you found him to struggling to form a complete sentence which wasn't like him at all.

"Overbearing?"

"That. Yes. That"

"She is like that, but she means well"

His brows furrowed as you said that. He was finding it a tad harder to believe.

"Okay, we need to make a man, asap" you said to him as you tightly closed the bottle of the nail paint after you were done using it. He laughed in response because he thought you were joking.

"Darling, I promise it can not be Asap. I mean it would take months for him to grow in your womb before he's birthed and–" he stopped talking as you gave him the look that he had learned to understand as a sign for Stop right now. You sighed as you stood up and went down on your knees in front of him, you placed your hands on his thighs and the position made him gulp.

"I want you to be my boyfriend" his eyes flickered as you said that.

"Ohhhhh?"

"Just for the evening" you clarified it immediately. God you hoped he didn't think of you as some midgardian desperate creep.

"Oh"

"Will you do it for me please?"

"I uhhh–"

"Pleaseee please do it .. please I'm begging you Loki please I'll do anything you'd ask please " you joined your palms together and begged him to just help you out. You didn't really have to beg he thought, you saved his arse, he would walk right into the sun if you'd ask him to.

"I just..never have been a boyfriend before "

"You said you had relationships "

"What is the correlation here?"

"Huh?" He sighed as you failed to understand him.

"I just don't want to ruin this evening which I am sensing- is already a very stressful affair for you" he mumbled as he placed his elbows down on his thighs to rest his chin in the palms of his hand.

"You won't ruin it, oh no please. I'd love to have a friend while we eat dinner..a friend who actually likes me..you know" your eyes teared up so he cupped your cheeks and leaned forward to press a soft kiss on your forehead. That gesture made you feel so warm but you wished you had more time to relish in this feeling.

"I am very fond of you my darling" he mumbled softly. The words made the butterflies go crazy in your stomach. Okay so you were attracted to him which you had already figured by the intense feeling you kept having where you wanted to fuck him all the time, there was the bubbling scorching heat between you two and you also wanted to cuddle him all the time now, all of these things combined together looked bad when you considered how he was literally unattainable. A fucking prince, he was a god that you couldn't even dream of having. He probably wouldn't even look twice at you if you were in a crowded room full of all the beautiful women in the world, women that he probably deserved to have.

Everyone kept telling you that you had higher standards for yourself but then he must have them too right? You weren't it unfortunately.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yess" you stood up and jumped around a little in excitement.

"Oh wait butt oh no.. they can't see you..my mom will recognise you, she's obsessed with you..but in a very bad way"

"She is?"

"Yeah she hates you "

"I figured that..umm do not worry about that. I'll take care of this" he pointed towards his face so you went down on your knees again. You had to stop doing this in front of him because one of these times he'd forget to enchant his cock to not get hard in a jiffy.

"But .. I don't want anyone else there, I want you, I mean. I like this face..it's such a loki looking face that I like" he chuckled as you said that. Sometimes your words hardly made any sense and that's exactly why he adored them so much.

"How about I change my hair and the color of my eyes, maybe get a bit of facial hair, the face stays" you tilted your head as he said that.

"That could work besides there's no way she'd think that you're him with all those modifications you know..oh that's a great idea. Well I'm going to cook now..by the way can I paint your toenails afterwards? You have such pretty toes" you got up from the floor again so he looked down at his feet.

"Noooo" he yelled, making you giggle but now another thing was starting to bother you.

"Wait a second!! You don't have clothes, I need to get you earth people clothes"

"Yes I was troubled by that thought" He did have a suit he had stolen from a midgardian shop when he visited Thor a few years prior after he was banished but for some reason the idea of putting it on again disgusted him. And he couldn't have worn his famous Terrorist from Asgard terrorising Stuttgart overcoat either for obvious reasons.

"Oh no I have to go get it for you then ..it's 11 already and I have to make dinner, and dessert also and oh my god it's so dirty around here, what I'm gonna doooo??" he walked towards as you started to freak out again.

"Now let us pause for a moment here. Take a deep breath for me, can you?" He told you as he grabbed your shoulders to calm you down.

"Okayy..okay..i'm just freaking out" you took a deep breath in order to not pass out right this moment.

"You go purchase the attire for me and I will tidy up the space until then. That is alright?" He asked you so you hugged him tightly, his arms instantly wrapped around your waist as if it was the most natural state in the world, breathing in the scent of your hair he sighed deeply.

He really needed to get a grip. A woman like you deserved a man so noble and not a hideous looking frost giant like him whose moral compass has broken a long time ago. You have waited so long for the man of your dreams and he could never be it for you.

"I'll be back soon"

It took you two hours to find something decent for him to wear, you even had to buy a pair of shoes for him, you saw a bunch of cute t-shirts so you bought that as well. You heard the shower running when you came back from the mall, you couldn't even recognise your apartment. It looked beautiful. First of all it was clean, ofcourse. But he had done something with the lighting as well, it seemed fancier, like a classy restaurant, and it smelled really good too. He had also filled the space with a much needed furniture you didn't have.

There was an elegant looking table right in front of the kitchenette. Bonus point? It also had chairs, you had chairs in your apartment.

The bed was covered in a beautiful satin sheet. Asgardian sheet. He also had that sofa all cleaned up, it looked brand new.

You put the shopping bags down on the sofa as your eyes circled around again. When he entered the room you immediately ran towards him to hug him, momentarily forgetting that he was naked from the waist up and dripping wet.

"This is.. gorgeous..you're like a sorcerer" you mumbled as you pulled away from him and took a few steps back, he was freezing cold. He smiled as he walked closer and wiped the droplets of water from your cheeks, the ones you had gotten by hugging onto his naked wet chest so tightly.

"I'm a sorcerer " he giggled and it made your heart grow ten times larger.

"Thank you Loki, you have no idea what you have done for me" your eyes teared up and so did his, but then again you didn't have time to enjoy this moment, they would be here in like three hours, you also had to get ready.

He tried to help you in the kitchen as much as he could but he wasn't really helping plus the heat bothered him a lot so you made him sit down on the sofa, he had done enough already and you were very grateful for that.

After cooking and assembling the cutleries on the table which again was the courtesy of your alien friend, you put on a dress and finished your makeup. You looked good for a change, the black dress complimented your dark soul. It always did.

You looked at him as he got himself dressed too, you didn't want to go overboard with his attire, there was a dark green jacket because you remembered that to be his favorite color, a plain black t shirt underneath with a tight fitted trouser. For some reason you knew he wasn't the denim jeans type of alien god.

His tush looked extremely good in those pants but that's not what shocked you, it was the change in his appearance. He kept his face but his hair was no longer raven, it was light brown and shorter, you could finally see the back of his neck and it was as smooth as the rest of his skin, his eyes were hazel brown, light freckles adorned his nose and cheeks. The finishing touch was the golden tan on his skin and that I haven't shaved in a week stubble. Even though he had the same face he didn't look like himself. He actually reminded you of that guy from that one King Kong movie you couldn't remember the name of.

"This okay? Or do I resemble my oaf brother a little too much" He asked you so you smiled.

"You look very handsome mister" And hot, and sexy, delicious.

A nervous laughter escaped his throat at the compliment.

"And you my lady, you look–-" before he could finish his words you heard the buzzer going off so you hurriedly stepped towards the door and got them in. You felt anxious and awkward like always, having dinner with four people where you didn't really like the three of them was not your idea of fun. As you opened the door you saw your mom and her husband David first so you hugged her and your step father gave you a side hug.

"Welcome to my humble abode" you chuckled as they stepped in, then you met his daughters from hell, his perfect little princesses, the elder one was named Chelsea, she was a year younger than you and married. Ofcourse because she was just perfect like that. You weren't expecting her to bring her husband Shawn though.

"Wow i didn't know husbands were coming" you mumbled as you hugged her and your mom glared at you.

The younger sister Courtney gave you cheek kisses. Pretentious bitch. She was just 25 but obviously more accomplished and much more successful in her career according to your mother.

As they all stepped inside you noticed them looking around, they had never been here before.

"Wow, this is so tiny and adorable, you know when daddy said you were renting a studio apartment i thought it'd be bigger" Courtney said and you resisted the urge to poke her eyes out.

"It's actually bigger than most studio apartments, I'm actually not supposed to have that whole window area, default in their infrastructure, goodie goodie for me" you felt everyone's eyes on you so you stopped talking immediately, turned around and walked towards Loki, you grabbed his arm and decided to introduce him to everyone, most of them looked shocked but atleast your mother was smiling from ear to ear.

"This is uhh.." oh god you didn't think of a name. Ofcourse you didn't. You see Perfect Chelsea over there would have thought of a name.

"Mark, this is Mark Johnson..he's an auditor for the ..uhhh Marks and Spencers" they smiled at him as you introduced him. No, that name didn't sound fake at all. Nope.

"Hello Mrs. Umm –" he looked at your mother. Wow you two really should have discussed this part a little more. Like for real.

"Used to be something else now she's Mrs Jackson" you told him so he gave your mom a hug. She looked at you as she hugged him and mumbled a wow behind his back which made you want to die from embarrassment.

You didn't want to waste much time so you all sat down for dinner. The problem was he only made six chairs, and there were 7 of you. Gee, No thanks husband Shawn.

"You sit down okay?" You made Loki sit down so he grabbed your arm and scooted a little to the side, one of his buttocks was hanging in the air but he didn't care, he didn't want you to feel left out at your own family dinner.

As you sat down next to him, well almost onto him, everyone cooed. It's not as if you weren't getting used to being squished against him.

"So i noticed the accent, are you a London boy Mr. Mark" you wanted to hurl at the way Courtney was looking at him.

"Uhh yes, England" You took a sip of the wine you had in front of you, for the god of lies, he wasn't really good at living up to that status.

"So you're here on business? How did you two meet?" Your mom asked you so this time you answered instead.

"Ohh he's a member at the gym I work for" you smiled.

"Why do I feel like I have seen you somewhere?" Your mom squinted her eyes and it made you nervous.

"Ohh he looks like that guy from that movie.. I don't remember..the one with the big burly ape" you agreed as Shawn said that. Well thanks Shawn

"Ohhhh yeah..yeah you're right"

"So auditing? You like that job, son?" David asked him. Oh!! he's not your son David. No no considering his age, David was the son, his father was the son, his grandfather was the son. Why couldn't you just stop having thoughts for once?

"No. I don't know what that is actually" he chuckled and then you heard them all laughing in unison. You did too before you glared at him,

"Wow, good looking and funny. By the way, raise your glasses everyone.. I have an announcement" Courtney grabbed her glass of wine and took a deep breath before she proceeded to speak.

"I got the job in London..ahhhh" she squealed as she celebrated herself and everyone then squealed for her, she worked for an embassy or something, you never cared to find out. Your mother did remind you now and again as how it could have been you if you'd have been a little sincere about your life.

"Ohh honey congratulations, that's amazing, I'm sooo proud of you" your mom said to her so you smiled in disbelief.

"Okay okay..i have a news too. We have a news" Chelsea said as she smiled from ear to ear and looked at her husband "So I'm not drinking wine because I'm abstaining, I lied sorry.. hint hint" She pointed towards her belly and the whole world gasped for her.

"Call Odin and ask him if he heard the gasps" you mumbled in his ear and he bit on his cheek to stop himself from smiling. She was pregnant ofcourse. They all hugged her and congratulated the lovely couple, so did you, you had no other choice.

"Both of our daughters make me so happy sweetie" David's eyes teared up as he held your mother's hand.

"I am so proud of them"

After the happiness died down a little, Courtney looked at you.

"So y/n you're a trainer at the gym right..don't they like pay very less?"

"It actually depends on my competence and how many clients I can get in a month," you said to her. No you didn't miss the snark, you just wanted to ignore it.

"Oh.. so less huh"

God you hated her.

"Shoot i am out" David said as he opened the box of his cigarettes.

"Oh honey" your mom comforted him and then she glared at you as Courtney made another comment.

"Y/n smokes, just ask her for one dad"

"It was just that one time.."

You tried to defend yourself but your mom cut you off as she shook her head in disappointment.

"Look if you have it, just be a good hostess and give one to him" she said to you so you were about to get up but Loki stopped you.

"I'll get it darling. I found it while cleaning" he said to you so you smiled, as he walked towards the closet you wondered what he meant, what did he find? As he returned he passed the lighter to David along with that fucking joint you couldn't find yesterday.

"Uhhh this is not..is this weed?"

You stood up and snatched it from his hand. Loki felt mortified now, maybe he should have asked first if your stepfather wanted to smoke weed or something else. He really should have thought a little harder about it.

"It's not mine, it's a friend's" you mumbled so your mom looked at you.

"Oh sweetie, are you in the wrong company again?" She questioned and you immediately denied. You felt overwhelmed now, you just wanted to go cry in your bathroom.

"I apologise darling, i had no clue what he wanted" he whispered in your ear so you sighed. He just wanted to help.

"It's fine..it's okay " you told him, you didn't want him to feel bad about this even though you felt completely mortified now.

"So what are your plans for marriage?" The wine came out of your nose as your mom questioned Loki.

"Mommm" you glared at her and gestured to cut it out but ofcourse she ignored the cue.

"I'm just asking, you two make a cute couple..what do you guys think?" She looked around the table for approval.

"Ohhh yess hook him in y/n before you lose this one too" Courtney cackled like a witch. Loki felt awful, these people reminded him of those bilgesnipes, all ready to pounce and attack you for no reason. He felt something grazing over his shin so he looked under the table and saw a bunch of toes rubbing against him. It belonged to one of your sisters.

"She's touching me" he whispered in your ear so you looked under the table and she stopped immediately.

"Marriage is such a beautiful thing, it just makes me sad that y/n is going to be in her thirties now and she's still..so lonely" Chelsea gave you a sad look making you scoff in response.

"But I'm happy.. and I don't really care alright?"

"Well you should care honey, when you're sixty and alone with no-one to take care of you you'll regret this attitude" your eyes teared up as your mother chimed in. You saw your step sisters smiling and passing glances to each other.

"Didn't you marry twice?" Loki asked your mother so you glared at him and asked him to cut it out.

"Excuse me?" Your mom had the typical look of disapproval now. You could just tell she didn't really like him any longer.

"You married her father and it must not have worked very well since you are married to this gentleman here now?" He asked her again so you facepalmed.

"But that's life, that happens, sometimes things don't work out between two people, there are several different reasons why people get divorced" she raised her voice a little and you could feel everything getting out of your hand now.

"Well pardon my interference but perhaps she doesn't want that to happen to her as well, maybe she wants to spend her life with someone who would be there for every reason and not only for a season" your mom gave him a death glare as he said that and so did you. The tension in the room kept on piling up.

He could tell you were upset with him for opening his big mouth today.

After the dinner and dessert ended, you were hoping for them to just leave, you had no energy to take more insults.

"Sooo we are going to be here for two days, let's go somewhere tomorrow" your mom hugged you as she spoke so you hummed in agreement "And lose this one, he's not the type of man who is going to marry you" she said to you as she pulled away.

"Yeah? Why do you think that?" You chuckled but it was because of the frustration you were feeling in the moment.

"Look at him honey. Don't be such a fool, men like him don't settle for women like us, he's just having his fun I can tell" you nodded as she said that. Once they all left you shut the main door with a force and then you turned around to glare at him.

"Y/n i –"

"You could have just kept your mouth shut you know"

"I didn't intend to disrespect her, she just--"

"What were you trying to do then huh? Do you know how hard that divorce was on her? On me?" Your eyes welled up as you questioned him. That comment your mom made was the last nail in the coffin and unfortunately she wasn't here to bear the brunt of it so you took it out on him.

"I am sorry, please don't be upset darling" he mumbled softly but you were too angry to care right now.

"I'm not your darling, giving him the roll of weed wasn't enough for you huh? God I wish you weren't here today, it's all my fault" his eyes filled with tears as you said that. A part of you knew you were misdirecting your anger and frustration on him but you still couldn't stop, you wished you would have though because the look on his face bothered you a lot, you never wanted to see him look so sad and that too because of you.

You scurried towards the bathroom and then the tears couldn't stop coming, your step sisters were younger and better than you and they were living their best lives while nothing turned your life around no matter how much you worked for it, they were accomplishing everything they had dreamt of while several of your dreams had already been shattered, you had successfully wasted half of your life so far and accomplished nothing. Your mother probably wished for a daughter like them and that's why she found love in David again.

When you came out, he looked at you with a worried look on his face, he still had the same clothes on but he was back to looking like himself. Did you really just tell him that you wished he wasn't here after everything he had done for you today? God, you felt like a selfish asshole. No wonder you didn't have anyone in life that you could actually count on.

"Do you want me to disappear?" He asked you and you suddenly felt so anxious.

"No. I'm sorry..I'm so sorry Loki" as you started to sob he walked towards you and hugged you as tightly as he could, that was it for you in that moment, you broke down and cried until you couldn't cry any more.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it, please don't go, i ..you're the only true friend I have..the best one i have ever had, and you were so good to me today, so sweet and I'm so sorry lo" you pulled away to look at him so he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead.

"I'm sorry I ruined the feast with my callousness" you smiled as he said that. He wasn't being callous, he just wanted to defend you. What a sweet sweet man.

"Well it's not as if it was going any better before..so I'm not really sorry about it" he kissed your forehead again and you just wanted to kiss him, it took everything to not clash your lips against his in that moment.

"You don't deserve to be treated in such a manner, you went through such pain today to make this enjoyable for them and you don't deserve anyone hurting you like that, none of the things they said hold true whatsoever" he said to you softly.

"You don't either Loki, I'm sorry it was me who hurt you today but I never want to be such a jerk to you again" he smiled at the statement.

"I understand, I have had my fair share of outbursts to comprehend that it didn't come from a place of malice but mere frustration and it wasn't intended for me" he mumbled and it made you smile. God he really was a dreamboat.

"Thank you Loki for everything you did today. You have no idea how much I appreciate you being here for me right now, i really do"

You hugged him again and took a deep breath, his hugs and sweet words really made you feel better than before. He was your friend, you loved having him as your friend. You looked up at him and the look in his eyes made you aware of the close proximity so you stepped away a little, he placed his hands inside the pocket of his pants to avoid the awkwardness but he had something in there so he took it out.

"What is it?"

"Something one of your sisters shoved into the pocket when we greeted each other" he said as he passed the slip to you. It was her phone number. What a bitch.

"Burn it down"

"Yes madam" you smiled as he said that.

"Umm..I'll go sleep, I'm tired" you mumbled as turned around and stepped towards the closet to take your pyjamas out.

"Uhh..What can I do to make you feel better?" he asked you, so you sighed.

"Nothing i– " Well actually "There's something you can do" you gave him a mischievous smile and he sighed as he understood what you wanted from him.

That's how he ended up on the sofa with you sitting on the floor with his feet resting on your thighs while you painted his toenails the same colour as yours.

"So pretty" you giggled as you finished the one leg and it warmed his heart. It was unbearable for him to see that hurt look on your face throughout the evening, knowing that there were people in the world who hurt you like that made his heart clench, he just wanted you to not feel that way like ever. He wanted to keep you protected.

"Maybe tomorrow we can do your makeup" you said nonchalantly making him tilt his head in response.

"How about no?" He responded and you feigned a look of disappointment.

At night he slept in that bed of yours, his sad brows were faster than your resistance today. You couldn't sleep though. You kept wondering if he'd come cuddle you but it has been an hour and he seemed asleep now. Wow this really bothered you, him not cuddling you by force like he had done in the last two days really really bothered you.

You sat up and got off from his princely bed then you took a few steps towards yours, you thought about what you were going to do for a moment. When he cuddled you, it was circumstancial, he had a nightmare the first night and then his body ached the other, you had no choice in that matter, you could have always pretended that you didn't love his cuddles but getting in the bed now would affirm that you indeed enjoyed sleeping with him like that and wanted it as much as he did.

Fuck it your cursed in your head before crawling into the bed. He was asleep but he did feel your body next to him, maybe he'd think that he was dreaming. Goddss he smelled divine.

He was lying on his side facing towards you so you sneaked your hand in the space between his neck and the pillow, he felt the invasion and instead of opening his eyes and calling you out for it he scooted closer to you instead and pressed his head down on your chest like he had done before. One of his arms went under your waist to pull you even closer while the other wrapped around you.

He embraced you as intimately as he could without it turning too sexual, this was the most intimate you had ever been with a man. Sure you had sex but even then you had several inches of distance between your bodies somehow. You hooked your legs around his waist in the usual position.

"Thank you" you mumbled softly in his ears and he hummed in response. You were thankful for him, you had known him for mere few weeks but you had never felt so strongly understood by someone.

"I'm overjoyed that you came. I just figured you needed your personal space tonight, perhaps I was mistaken " you smiled as he mumbled against your chest.

"Perhaps"

You knew it won't take you long enough to fall asleep now, you wondered if this was appropriate or not but you no longer cared for it. You also knew that you were only digging a deeper hole for yourself. Getting addicted to the feeling of cuddling him like this will only hurt you later when he won't be here with you. Your mother wasn't wrong, men like him didn't choose women like you for life but then you knew that already, didn't you?

Nothing so good could ever last forever, nothing so sweet and gentle could ever be wholly yours. Maybe you can press the stop button on this tomorrow but tonight you just wanted to indulge a little. Tonight you just wanted to live a little. Something that you haven't done for as long as you could remember.

🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

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[workersolidarity]

🇺🇳⚔️🇮🇱 🚨

WHO REPORT CALLS AL-SHIFA HOSPITAL AN "EMPTY SHELL" AND DESCRIBES A GRAVE YARD

A newly published World Health Organization (WHO) report on the Israeli occupation raid on Al-Shifa Medical Complex, located in the Al-Rimal neighborhood of Gaza City, calls the hospital an "empty shell" and describes a ruined courtyard with "numerous shallow graves" filled with the bodies of murdered Palestinians.

According to the WHO, the organization tried on six different occasions to organize a mission to visit the hospital in order to evacuate patients, staff and displaced civilian sheltering inside, but were "denied, delayed or impeded" six times between March 25th and April 1st, 2024.

The WHO said the hospital, which had been Gaza's "largest and most important" referral hospital in the Gaza Strip and said it is now "nothing more than an empty shell," with no patients, no doctors and a majority of the hospital's equipment and facilities completely or partially destroyed, including the hospital's emergency department and its maternity ward, both of which were destroyed by "explosives and fire."

The Israeli occupation army also destroyed the hospital's oxygen plant, which the WHO says leaves only Kamal Adwan Hospital in Beit Lahiya, in the northern Gaza Strip, which was also damaged during a previous weeks-long Israeli siege and eventual raid back in December, 2023.

However, the horrific part of the WHO report comes when WHO personnel describe what they witnessed outside on the hospital grounds, writing in the report how, "numerous shallow graves have been dug just outside the emergency department, and the administrative and surgical buildings."

"In the same area, many dead bodies were partially buried with their limbs visable. During the visit, WHO staff witnessed at least five bodies lying partially exposed to the heat. The team reported a pungent smell of decomposing bodies engulfing the compound. Safeguarding dignity, even in death, is an indespensible act of humanity."

Further, survivors of the raid described to the WHO teams horrific treatment at the hands of the Zionist army, telling the WHO they'd endured "severe lack of food, water, healthcare, hygiene, and sanitation, and were forced to relocate between buildings at gunpoint."

"At least 20 patients have reportedly died due to the lack of access to care and limited movement authorized for healthcare personnel," the WHO added.

Despite the horrendous scenes the WHO teams were met with, they'd endured several delays, and even the illegal detention of a driver, before gaining access to the site and they also said more than half of all their missions to Gaza have been met with delays, impediments and postponements.

Worse still, the WHO says the loss of the Al-Shifa medical complex has "broken the backbone of the already ailing health system" in Gaza. This after the WHO worked to restore basic services at Al-Shifa after a previous Israeli raid inflicted damage to the hospital's functionality, saying in the report that all those efforts are "now lost."

Out of 36 hospitals functioning in Gaza on October 7th, 2023, only 10 remain at this time to serve over 2 million Palestinians, most of them displaced, and nearly 5% of Gazans dead, wounded or missing.

Meanwhile, with a looming Israeli invasion of Rafah, the WHO fears Gaza could be facing "unimaginable health consequences" from Israel's war and its "systematic dismantling of health care" in the Gaza Strip.

The report finishes by warning that, "as famine looms, disease outbreaks spread, and traumatic injuries increase, WHO calls for unimpeded access of humanitarian aid into and across the Gaza Strip, and a lasting ceasefire."

#source1

#source2

#source3

#photovideosource

@WorkerSolidarityNews

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story

CW: addiction, pregnancy, c-section, labor

Tomorrow morning I have my baby. I had to be a day earlier in the hospital, to be prepared for the c-section. That was totally pointless in my opinion. They didn’t really do much, except a CTG. Yea, and I got a pill to poop. But I didn't do it anyway.😬I just didn’t have to and couldn’t. 🤭🤷‍♀️ After that I was not allowed to eat & drink until after the surgery the next day.

I hate hospitals! Besides, I kept remembering that one horrible night in the emergency room when Daniel and I were so badly injured. I was terrified, I just wanted to go back home. I wasn’t the only one checking in at the maternity ward today. Another girl also arrived together with her boyfriend, almost simultaneously with Nico & me.

That girl stared at me all the time, as if she.... wanted to kill me?

However, I didn’t come here to argue with other pregnant women. I was struggling with other things. The fear of giving birth, totally fucked me up. Secondly, I was also worried about my baby!! What if he gets withdrawal symptoms? Then my son has to be treated at the NICU. I don’t know how I would handle that? 😞All the fears and anxieties I had throughout the pregnancy were now slowly becoming real.

A nice midwife who was on duty that night showed me my room. Nico asked her, if he could stay the night with me until tomorrow morning for the c-section? She said no! Visiting time ends at 7 pm, but he is allowed to stay with me until 10 pm, bcs he's the baby's Dad.

Suddenly we heard a scream! The midwife apologized to see what was going on out there. That one girl who also came here today, contracted. Her doc had induced labor this afternoon. I could see she was getting right to her limit. I really felt sorry for her. This will continue all night long. Her son was born only a few hours before mine. Some days later we will talk and find out, that she and I, but also our babies, have a lot in common. Nothing good to be honest.😞

N. had to go. We said goodbye, tomorrow morning at 7 he’ll be back.

My last quiet night? In any case, my nights will be different from now on. Whether I was aware of this at that moment? Yes, I was! And still, I couldn’t sleep, I was too excited. Everything will change tomorrow. I will finally be able to see my Baby and hold him in my arms. 💙

Previous/Next

[bellasmumblingsandmusings]

Interlude: What a Day...

Previously: Prologue Tumblr Link for Prologue, Chapter One; Chapter Two, Chapter 3, Interlude Chapter 4 Chapter 5, Chapter 6 Chapter 7 , Chapter 8 Chapter 9 , Chapter 10

Pairing: Astarion x female!Tav

Warnings: 18+. NSFW, Ethical and non Ethical BDSM, noncon, some allusions to sexual violence, flashbacks to sexual violence, discussions of sexual violence, dubious boundaries, attempted sexual violence, dubcon, blood licking/blood kink, reference to cheating behavior, emotional trauma, group sex, sex, smutt, anxiety, negative thinking, sexual trauma, recovery, healing, angst,

Word count: 74K total

Status: Ongoing

(Chapter 11, Aug 28th)

Song for this Chapter: Elastic Heart -Sia

Entire Story Link on AO3 Spotify Playlist AO3

After the Jump!

Interlude: What a Day…

The First Day...

The morning sun cast long, eerie shadows across the cobblestones outside Gale’s imposing wizard tower in Waterdeep, filling the crisp air with the scent of damp earth and lingering magic. Astarion paced nearby, his steps deliberate and measured. Look at me, reduced to pacing like a mortal. How charming, he thought, his mind racing. He needed to approach Sima with a clear head, to articulate his desires without the anger that had clouded their previous encounter. His crimson eyes flickered with determination as he took a deep breath, smoothing his clothes before stepping forward and calling out, voice steady yet tinged with urgency.

“Sima!”

His call echoed through the morning air, breaking the silence and drawing the attention of any passers-by. As he waited, Astarion took one more deep breath, gathering his thoughts and preparing himself for the difficult conversation to come. What a wretched irony, to cling to shadows while craving the light. Perhaps I’m nothing more than the monster I feared becoming. Despite his cool exterior, his heart pounded with a mix of anticipation and trepidation. He would do anything to convince her to join him, even if it meant revealing a softer side he usually kept hidden.

Sima emerged onto the balcony from the night before, leaning over the railing. She wore a powder-blue dress, and her long black ringlets swung in the soft breeze of morning. "Well, look at what the tressym dragged in. I half-expected you to show up with your ghouls in tow. Nice to see reason prevails. What’s it to be? Demands? Threats? Promises?" she said, her tone weary as she stood high above him.

"Ah, my love," Astarion greeted her with a wry smile, tilting his head back to look up at her. "Still playing the part of the aloof lady in high places, I see. But no, no threats or demands this time. I’m here for a less... confrontational discussion." He took a moment to compose himself, his gaze never leaving hers, before continuing with a measure of earnestness he would usually hide. "I wish to talk, not as adversaries, but as... partners. You and me."

"Right, partners. Hmmm, I have to say you sound convincing. Vaguely. Wolf in sheep's clothing, no less. Fine, fly on up, but remember Gale has wards in place to keep me safe and sound right here," Sima said with a smirk, appreciating the countermeasures she had devised with her friend. The wind kicked up her powder-blue dress, revealing her legs and deep brown skin.

"Oh, I'm a wolf alright. You can trust me. At least, a little."

Astarion flew up in his bat form before transforming back. His eyes roamed over her, taking in the view and the way her legs were revealed by the wind. Ah, to taste the sweetness of her skin again. He had missed her so much, he had ached and burned for her presence, and now she was here, so close. He longed to touch, to kiss, to taste, but that would come in time... if he played his cards right.

"I think I prefer the bat, honestly. Oddly enough, you're less biting in that form. Get on with it, will you?" Sima leaned back against the railing of the balcony, eyeing him with suspicion and watching him as he walked around her. She crossed her bare legs under her dress, the wind of the high balcony blowing her black ringlet curls.

"Ah, but what's the fun in that? All you'd be doing is sitting here, watching me fly around. No, I much prefer this form, all the interesting things I can do. Wouldn't you agree, dear?" Astarion walked around her, circling, studying, eyeing every part of her with an intensity and desire. He stopped in front of her, his eyes still drawn to her legs, though his gaze slowly traveled up her body, along her neck, and landed on her face. Is this Cazador’s legacy? A wretched creature, clinging to power like a lifeline, even as it poisons everything it touches? He dismissed the thought. No, I’ve surpassed that miserable wretch. But still, here I am, clinging to power... It’s almost amusing how little has changed.

Sima scowled. "Considering all your utter bullshit last night and how you've treated me prior to my last month in hiding, you have some gall to look at me like that. You haven't earned the right to look at me like that," Sima said, quickly walking away, frustrated by his flippant attitude and thinking he could simply charm his way out of his horrid behavior. He had nearly killed her chasing her down in Baldur's Gate and nearly taking her by force in the Enclave weeks ago.

Astarion followed her around the balcony, matching her as she walked. Losing her... The final death? How poetic. The last vestige of the man I was, slipping through the fingers of a god. How utterly laughable. He maintained his composure, his voice softening as he spoke. "Oh, I'm sorry, dear. Have I not earned the right to admire the woman who holds all my heart in her hands? Shall I gouge out my eyes so you are spared my gaze? Or would you rather I stop pursuing you? Stop trying. Stop loving you?" He stopped in front of her, blocking her path. He reached out, gently tracing her cheek with his fingers. His voice softened as he spoke.

Sima looked at him, square in the eyes. "Tell me, did you come here to trade barbs with me, or is there an actual use to you being here this morning? Otherwise, I would be happy to shove you off the balcony and see if you bounce when you hit the bottom of the cobblestones," Sima said before walking around him back to the door of her quarters connected to the balcony.

Astarion followed her again, though faster this time, and grabbed her wrist before she could get through the door. "No, no more of this. I'm not here to trade barbs with you." His voice was harsh, his grip on her wrist tight. He stepped closer, closing the gap between them. He reached out with his free hand, gently cupping her chin and forcing her to look at him. "I'm here because I have to talk to you. Because I'm not going anywhere until you listen to me."

Sima pulled away and raised her hand. "You want to talk, then talk. No touching. Got it? Say what you need to say," Sima said, crossing her arms and looking at him with pure frustration etched on her features.

Astarion grimaced. He didn't like being denied the ability to touch her, to touch his dear. What remains of me without you, darling? A god, perhaps, but a hollow one—clinging to the power that now feels like ash in my mouth. But he took a step back anyway. He knew if he pushed it further, he would get nowhere at all. "Fine. I'll keep my hands to myself. At least for now."

Astarion let out a frustrated sigh. He was struggling to control his emotions, to keep from shouting, screaming at her to listen to him. Madness... or simply the next step in this ascension? Descending into darkness—I should have expected as much. How delightfully tragic. He took a breath, composing himself. "I'm sorry. For everything."

"Oh, there's quite a bit. Say, the hunt with your wolves. The bats. Oh, let's not forget the insane way you behaved back in Baldur's Gate at the Enclave, wanting to claim me. What, all of that is gone now, a month onwards?" Sima said, her face a visage of disdain. He had tried to force her to be with him, and she wasn't backing down.

Astarion's face soured as he heard her words, not the sweet sound of her voice. No, it was what she said that set him off. He clenched his jaw, his eyes hardening as he met her gaze. "No, it's not gone! Gods curse it, can you not understand? I want you, I want you to be mine!" he snapped back, his voice cold and sharp. "Is that really so much to ask? To want to protect you, to have you by my side always? To take care of you?"

"Oh, is that your offer? Protection? Partnership? Remember you said it yourself, we are partners right up against when it comes down to your authority over me. That's not a partnership, that's a farce!" Sima said, turning away from him and then coming back with her finger pointed. "And let's not forget your little game of kidnapping me after the ball and trying to keep me hostage. Your safety is a cage, Astarion."

Astarion's temper flared, his eyes narrowing in anger. The mention of the kidnapping and the threats sent a wave of frustration through him. You really are intent on making this difficult, aren't you? He took a deep breath, trying to maintain what little composure he had left. "And what would you prefer?" he snapped back, his voice low and menacing. "To be out on your own with no one watching your back? No one to protect you when you sleep at night? No one to care what happens to you?"

He moved closer to her, glaring down at her with an intensity that belied his facade of civility.It’s laughable, really—this tug-of-war between what I was and what I’ve become. Do you even see it, Sima? He clenched his hands into fists, the frustration and anger bubbling up inside of him. He'd tried to have a civil conversation with her, tried to explain himself, but it seemed like she just didn't understand.

"Oh, you think you can handle yourself, do you? You think you're strong enough to fend off every threat, to face the dangers of the world alone?" he retorted, his voice filled with mockery. Foolish, to think she can stand alone in this world. And yet... there’s something terrifying in her defiance—something I cannot control.

He took another step closer to her, towering over her, his eyes flashing. "I think you need to look into the mirror and realize the darker reasons you offer these things to me. Look at what you want. Look at how far you are willing to go to get it. You've already chased me across the Sword Coast. How far are you truly willing to go to make me stay?" Sima said, drawing a line between his supposed protection and dominance.

"You think I'm afraid to go further? I've come this far already, my love. Don't think I won't take whatever steps necessary to get what I want," Astarion said, his voice low and dangerous. He took yet another step towards her, closing the distance between them to mere inches. Would she even recognize me if I revealed how deeply this cuts? No. That’s a weakness I cannot afford. "I will do whatever it takes, Sima. If you think I'm going to let you slip through my fingers, you're sorely mistaken."

"If that's true, then do the thing that you are afraid to do. Respect what I want. My choices, the time to make them, and the desire that you need to recognize that I stand toe to toe with you. No half measures, no lies, no omissions or exceptions. You throw the offer of true vampirism at me, and just expect me to say yes. Well, damn you, and your fucking pride, I will not just give in," Sima said, softly pushing him back to give her some space on the balcony where they stood.

Astarion's face twisted into a snarl as she pushed him back, and he fought the urge to grab her and pull her close again. Her refusal rankled him, and his blood boiled with a mixture of frustration and desire. Of course, she resists. They always resist. But this time... this time, I won’t let go. "You really are intent on making this difficult, aren't you?" he said, his voice still low and his words dripping with sarcasm. "I am offering you everything, and you still refuse?! Do you not understand what that kind of power means? The things we could do together?"

"The power you would have. What's to say you will turn me into a true vampire? What's to say you won't just turn me into a spawn and have at it? What's to say that we don't have two thrones but one where you sit and me on a leash? All you've painted for me is this perfect picture, but what does sharing power with another vampire even look like to you? Especially in your domain," Sima said, challenging him, trying to pull out the kernels of truth in this fantasy he had woven.

Astarion's hands clenched into tight fists, but he refrained from grabbing her. A leash? Darling, that’s hardly romantic, is it? He tried to maintain his composure, trying to keep the sharp edge out of his voice. "We'd be equal partners, sweetheart. Or is that not what you want? I thought you were the type to crave adventure and power. Well, here it is, right in front of you. We could have that, together. Isn't that what you want?"

Sima looked into his crimson eyes. "Gods, it's like being back at camp all over again. The allure, the lure of power. Trying to get me to agree. Except now it's not a bite or blood, it's the very nature of who I am. I know you, I see you. You hunted me down, forcing me to stay. And now you dangle this instead of offering me a glimpse of who you once were. You refuse to let me in and don't blame the ascension. It's you choosing to cut yourself off. To be this... thing."

Astarion's nostrils flared as she spoke, her words cutting into him with a harshness that he couldn't deny. He wanted to protest, to defend himself, but the truth was that she was right. And what would you have me do? Lay my heart at your feet to be trampled on? I’m a vampire, my love. It’s in my nature to be possessive, dominant, and yes—to demand obedience. That’s who I am, dear. You of all people should know that.

"That's such a load of horseshit. You think I've been lying around doing nothing for a month in Waterdeep? I've read everything I can on your kind, everything. And let me tell you, you have a chance here to be something different. So if you want anything from me, you want this compromise you so delicately put together? Then you need to change. Don't bother coming to speak with me until you do. I am done with the threats, I am done with you not seeing me," Sima said, pressing a finger to his sternum before turning and going back to her balcony room, slamming the door behind her.

Astarion let out a frustrated growl as the door slammed, and he clenched his fists in anger. Her stubborn insistence on resisting me is more infuriating than my own internal battle against these cursed instincts. For a few minutes, he stood at the door, seething. His mind warred between the urge to force his way in, to use his strength to take what he wanted, and the knowledge that such an action would only drive her further away. But would that be so bad? To claim her by force, to finally end this tiresome game of wills?

With a curse, he turned away and stalked toward the balcony, transforming into his bat form and flying back down, endeavoring to continue their battle of wills in the coming days.

The Second Day...

The night had settled deep over Waterdeep when Astarion knocked on Gale's door, his composure masking the anticipation simmering beneath. The door opened to reveal Gale, who greeted him with a nod. Astarion’s gaze immediately found Sima across the room, her posture tense and her eyes sharp. She was a vision in her short leather skirt and black crop top, reminiscent of their earlier days—a reminder of the power she held over him.

“Gale, can you give us a moment, please?” Sima’s voice was tight, barely concealing the storm of emotions brewing inside her. He’s here again. Why can’t he just leave me alone? She tried to keep her composure, but the sight of him stirred a complicated mix of emotions—anger, longing, and something darker.

Gale hesitated, his eyes flicking between them, before he nodded. “Of course, take as long as you need,” he said, exiting with Tara following close behind.

Astarion didn’t move immediately, savoring the sight of Sima. His gaze was predatory, tracing the curve of her legs, the rise and fall of her chest, and the way her hair framed her face. He smirked, a calculated move to disarm her. “Well, hello there, darling,” he purred, his voice low and laden with promise.

That voice... gods, why does he have to sound like that? Sima’s pulse quickened despite herself. She hated that he still had this effect on her, hated how easily he could make her feel weak. But she refused to let him see it.

“This time using the front door. How much did you hate that instead of sneaking around like a thief in the night?” Sima’s words were sharp, but Astarion caught the flicker of something else in her eyes—something he could work with.

“Oh, you know me, darling. I do enjoy a surprise now and then.” He stepped closer, his movements slow, deliberate, as if stalking prey. “But today, I thought a more... civilized approach was in order.”

Civilized... Sima almost laughed. He was anything but. Yet, as he closed the distance between them, the air between them crackled with tension, thick and palpable. Astarion’s gaze lingered on her lips, then trailed down to the curve of her neck, exposed and tempting. “And yes,” he continued, his voice dropping to a whisper as he leaned in, his breath brushing against her ear, “I’ve come to make my case, again.”

This is a game to him, Sima reminded herself, though the proximity of his lips to her ear sent a shiver down her spine. He’s always been so damn good at this... She stiffened, trying to regain control. “Well, the condemned man comes to visit. Only fitting I listen,” she said, her voice trembling slightly despite her best efforts. “What’s it to be today? Threats? Pleas for partnership?”

Astarion chuckled, the sound dark and seductive. “Oh, my love, you think you have me all figured out, don’t you?” He moved closer, his body almost brushing against hers. The heat of him, the scent of him—leather, spice, and something uniquely Astarion—was intoxicating. “But I’m full of surprises.”

Surprises, she thought, her heart racing despite herself. That’s one way to put it. His fingers brushed her arm, sending a jolt of electricity through her. The connection was instant, a sharp reminder of how easily he could affect her, and wholly unwelcome. She hated that he still had this power over her.

He reached out, his fingers brushing the bare skin of her arm, trailing up to her shoulder, where he let them linger, his touch both a caress and a claim. “No threats,” he whispered, his lips dangerously close to her ear. “No kidnappings. Just a civilized talk. But I must say, dear,” he continued, his voice a soft, dangerous murmur, “you look absolutely divine in that skirt.”

Sima’s breath hitched, the words stirring something deep within her. Damn it... She could feel the chill of his nose against the warmth of her neck, the contrast sending shivers down her spine. This is exactly what he wants. Don’t let him win... She steeled herself, trying to ignore the pull he had on her, the way her body responded to his every move. “If you think I don’t know what you’re doing, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment,” she said, her voice wavering as she tried to maintain her defiance. “There was a time when it was sincere, you know. Not a game or a ploy.”

Astarion sighed against her skin, his breath hot and tantalizing. “You assume I’m not sincere every time I touch you,” he whispered, his lips grazing the shell of her ear. “But I always have a reason for what I do. It’s true, but that doesn’t mean it’s not heartfelt. I want to be close to you, always.”

Always... The word echoed in her mind, twisting something deep inside her. But what does that mean when it comes from someone like him? He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. For a moment, she allowed herself to melt into his embrace, feeling the softness beneath his exterior. The possessive creature he had become wasn’t dangerous in this moment. But she knew better than to trust this calm.

His hands traced the curves of her hips, thighs, and waist, each touch more intimate, more possessive than the last. “You cannot truly fear me,” he whispered, his voice a low, seductive growl. “You know I would sooner die than allow harm to come to you.”

Sima let him hold her, her body betraying her resolve as it melted into his embrace. Why does it feel so safe, so... right? she wondered, her heart conflicted. For a moment, she allowed herself to drown in the sensation—the safety and danger, the pleasure and pain. But as his lips trailed along her cheek, her mind screamed for her to stop, to remember the pain he had caused her before. She pushed back, the movement breaking the spell he had cast over her. “No,” she whispered, almost to herself. “No, I deserve more than just this.”

Astarion’s heart ached as she pulled away, leaving him with a hollow emptiness. He stared at her, his breath ragged, his eyes filled with a mixture of longing and disappointment. “More than just this?” he repeated, his voice laced with frustration and disbelief. “What more do you want from me, dear? I’m giving you everything I have.”

Everything... The word sounded hollow in her mind. But is it really? Sima’s eyes filled with tears, but she refused to let them fall. “Trust, respect, to give me more than your body and to give me the part of you that is still there. That softness,” she said, her voice filled with anger and hurt. “I don’t know what’s worse. Knowing that you want to have control over me or not trusting me with all of you. You were always so much more to me than just your body, you know that.”

Astarion’s expression darkened as her words stung him to the core. He knew she was right, that there was more to himself that he was holding back. “You want that softness, do you?” he said through clenched teeth, “I tried to give it to you, dear, and look where it got me. The world doesn’t care if you’re kind, it doesn’t care if you’re vulnerable. It will tear you apart the moment you let your guard down.”

“How can you not trust me? I am not the rest of the world, I have bled with you, fought with you. How can you still not know better after all this time?” Sima looked at him incredulously, deeply pained and furious.

Astarion ran a hand through his hair, his frustration at himself and her frustration at him mixing into a toxic brew of emotion. “It’s not a question of trust, dear. It’s a question of survival. When you’ve been hurt as many times as I have, it’s hard to believe that any kind hand out there is genuine, that anyone isn’t just waiting to stab you in the back. It’s easier to take what you want before it can be taken from you.”

Survival? Sima thought, her anger flaring again. And what am I, in that calculation? “Well, you cannot take my love. I am not a thing to be conquered, I am not a thing to be won. I need us to be different. If I can’t find shelter with you, who can I find shelter with? If I can’t trust you, who in this godsforsaken world can I trust? Don’t you see? It’s not fair to me, to offer up pleasure and hold back the very thing that I need,” Sima said, opening up her hands as if she was willing to accept him if he could do this.

The sheer raw emotion of Sima’s outburst hit Astarion like a punch to the gut. He felt a wave of conflicting emotions wash over him—anger, guilt, helplessness.

“Dammit, Sima!” he exclaimed, his voice almost choked with frustration. “Of course, it’s not fair! Do you think I don’t know that? Do you think I don’t want it too? But every time we’ve tried this before, it’s gone wrong. Every time, I’ve ended up getting hurt!”

And what about me? Sima’s heart pounded with both anger and sorrow. You’re not the only one who’s suffered. “No! No. Don’t you dare bring up me leaving you! You know that was because of your need for control. You know it’s because you tried to force me into being your spawn. You know it was more about your need to keep everything as it was, than to let me in! You grasp at control and you push me away!” Sima yelled back, her voice echoing in Gale’s drawing room.

Astarion’s expression hardened, a storm of emotions raging in his eyes. “That’s rich, coming from you! You’re no saint in this, darling! You always act so high and mighty, but you’re not perfect. You’re not some shining beacon of good that can fix all my flaws. Maybe I do grasp for control, maybe I need control, just like you need to be all sweet and gentle and kind! Maybe that’s just who we are!”

Sweet and gentle? Sima’s anger flared. Is that all he sees? “Don’t you dare be sarcastic. You know I am being honest, and all you do, yet again, is run away. Maybe I left, but you ran first. You run from me, you run from yourself, and you run from what you are becoming!” Sima’s voice rose, filled with hurt and anger.

Astarion’s frustration boiled over, his control slipping even further. “And what exactly is it, dear, that I’m becoming, huh? A tyrant? A monster?” Astarion’s voice dripped with venom, the words laced with both anger and something deeper, a fear he refused to name. “Go on, say it! Say what we both know you’re thinking!”

Sima’s breath caught in her throat. “You’re becoming him. I am afraid, and you are becoming him.”

The words struck him like a physical blow. He recoiled, but then something dark within him, something Ascendant, twisted the pain into anger, defiance. “And I suppose I should just let that get the better of me, is that it? Change who I am just to make you happy? I’m stronger than that, dear. I won’t shrink back just because you’re afraid I’m becoming him. I made a choice, I decided who I would be, and I will see it through. Your hands are just as bloody as mine, darling!”

Sima looked at him in dismay. “Then why even be here? Why keep trying if you think it’s pointless? Do you actually expect me to look past this? I may have helped you ascend, and yes, those bodies are on me, but I have suffered for a year since we parted. You know what happened to me in Calimport, you know the pain I feel every day! Don’t say I haven’t paid because I have. I lost you, and I lost myself the day you ascended.”

“You left me,” he shot back, stung at the implication that he hadn't suffered too in their separation, in some ways more than she had. He closed the gap between them, grabbing her shoulders, his fingers digging in just tightly enough to keep her from backing away. “You left me alone in that damned, empty, cold palace. I needed you.”

Sima pulled away. “And I need you to see me, to recognize me, to not push me away or push me behind you. Do you remember what you were like during those months when I was with you? Do you remember beginning to put me under your thumb? Of course not, because that doesn't matter, does it?! Love isn’t enough to get past this, and neither is sex. I need something more, and I have told you time and time again what that is, but you refuse me,” Sima said resoundingly before walking around him and leaving him in Gale’s drawing room as she left, going back up the stairs of the tower.

Astarion watched her leave, seething internally at the memory she brought up. He could remember, to an extent—flashes of memory more than anything. Not enough to know exactly what he’d said, but enough to know it had been unkind, dismissive, controlling. Enough to hate himself for it. He followed after her.

“Where are you going? I’m not done with you yet!”

Gale calmly walked in front of him before the stairs. “Oh yes, you are, my friend. Sima is the one who is the injured party in these talks, lest you forget. So I’m afraid if the lady says no... at least in my tower, it means that’s the end of that. Now, I am happy to entertain you with a bottle of something stiff, considering you might need it.”

Astarion scowled at Gale, bristling at being denied, being told he wasn’t needed or wanted, being denied what was his. But he also wasn’t in the mood to fight with Gale over this. “Fine. But whatever you give me, make it stronger than a child’s drink, would you?”

Gale humbly smirked and turned to fetch two bottles, leaving Astarion alone with Tara. The tressym eyed him with open boredom and disdain before speaking. “Honestly,” she said under her breath, her whiskers fluttering.

Astarion eyed the creature warily, taking in Tara’s unamused look. He sat down on the floor, looking up at her with a guarded expression. He could feel that she was no fan of him. “Yes, yes, I know, I’m detestable, I’ve heard it before.”

Tara looked at him and, like a regal creature, quickly stretched as if his personal issues were somewhat beneath her. “No, well, yes, Mr. Ancunin, but honestly, you’d think a vampire would have more charm. Yelling at the lady will do you no favors,” the weary tressym said, licking her fur and ruffling her wings.

Astarion bristled defensively. “And you’d think some mangy animal would know better than to interfere in people’s affairs,” he retorted, crossing his arms. “You have no idea what our relationship is like, so you should keep your mouth shut.”

Tara went on her hind legs and hissed at Astarion, her fur raised just in time for him to hiss back at her, like two territorial cats in one space.

“Don’t you dare hiss at me, you miserable wretch,” Astarion hissed, baring his fangs at her. At this moment, even Tara’s interference was the last thing he was in the mood to take.

Gale walked in talking, not even aware of the territorial hissing happening as he came in with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. “So let me tell you about this whiskey, my mother—what in the bleeding hells is going on here?” Gale looked from Tara, who had her hackles raised, to Astarion, who looked like some pacing feline.

“Your bloody cat is the problem,” Astarion protested, his voice rising in volume as his frustration over the issue spilled over onto the wizard. He was in no mood to discuss the finer points of this. “She’s here, again, meddling in my business. I don’t remember requesting any furry creatures to witness every moment of my day, and yet there she is, judging me every sodding minute.”

“Perhaps you deserve it, especially with how you treat your supposed lady. Mr. Dekarios, I think I shall check on our lovely Sima and leave you with the ...stray,” Tara hissed before flapping her wings and flying up the tower. Gale shot Astarion a hot gaze and shoved the bottle and glass into his hands. “Pour yourself a glass and get out of my tower. Looks like I have more trouble of yours to clean up,” Gale said, shaking his head as he left.

Astarion looked at the whiskey in his hand and took a long swig directly from the bottle before walking off to leave the tower, taking the bottle with him. As he walked, he muttered under his breath, “It’s all bloody well my own gods-damned business in the first place. Nosy feline. Interfering wizard.”

Astarion walked down the streets of the city, drinking his whiskey. The night around him was cold, the wind blowing through his hair. As he walked, he passed a few shady figures and some people clearly just looking for a good time. He had no doubt he could find some way to kill the evening, but none would bring him what he actually wanted, and that thought only made him more bitter. He took another long swig, letting the whiskey burn down his throat, filling his head with a buzzing haze.

What he could not forget were Sima’s parting words. Her desire for openness. Trust, to let her in. It gnawed at him, the very edges of what he thought he should be. Would be, as he was now, as a vampire lord. The burn of the whiskey did little to help the bitterness the conversation had left on his tongue.

He thought back to their conversation. A hundred times, a thousand times, her words echoed through his mind: “I do not want lies, I do not want distance. You do not trust me.” And she was right. He didn’t. He could not trust someone who had seen the darkest parts of him and still wanted to stay around. Who would willingly bind themselves to such a creature as me? But he would not be alone, not like that. That was not an existence he would accept, no matter what it cost. She will accept me, as I am, one way or another, he thought with a grim determination. He just had to convince her.

The Third Day...

Astarion paced in front of Gale's tower, the usual poise replaced by an uncharacteristic restlessness. The pale moon cast long shadows across the cobblestones, adding an eerie quality to the scene. He was done with waiting, with the delicate dance of words that masked his true desires. He called out, his voice sharper than usual, slicing through the dead of night.

"I have to talk to you! Now!"

The urgency in his tone betrayed his irritation. The words echoed in the quiet air, reflecting the tumult within him as he waited for her to appear.

Sima emerged onto the balcony in her nightrobe, her expression a mix of surprise and annoyance. "Are you drunk or just too sated on blood? Do you have any idea what hour it is?"

Astarion looked up, annoyance flickering across his face. He ran a hand through his hair, the charming facade slipping to reveal his frustration. "I don't give a damn what time it is. We need to talk, and we're doing it now."

Sima sighed, her eyes narrowing as she looked around. "Just so you know, the ward keeping me here extends beyond my balcony. I'll come down, just keep it down for gods' sake." With a muttered incantation, she cast Fly on herself and descended, her nightrobe billowing around her as she landed lightly on the cobblestones. "You'd better have a good explanation for this," she hissed.

Astarion's eyes followed her descent, his expression darkening. "No time for pleasantries, love," he said coldly. "This can't wait." He stepped towards her, his movements swift and purposeful. "We're done with the stalling, with the talking. I've made my position perfectly clear, but you've been avoiding the inevitable."

Sima's eyes flashed with anger. "What the hells does that mean? Your position is business as usual. Excuse me if an eternity under your thumb doesn't suit me!" Her voice was a hiss, her stance defiant.

He doesn’t understand—control is not love. I won’t be caged. Sima’s internal resolve was firm, but she couldn't help the slight tremor in her voice as she faced him.

"Under my thumb, is it?" Astarion retorted, irritation clear in his voice. "Funny, you never complained before. You seemed so willing, so eager to give yourself to me. What changed?" He stepped closer, his voice low and intense. "You used to be mine, dear. You used to be mine, and I was yours. We were partners, remember? Equals."

Sima's eyes blazed with fury. "Oh, we stopped being equals some time ago, beloved," she spat, the endearment dripping with sarcasm. "I remember us living together, and those months of you turning things around. Difference, singular authority. The one in control, always! You don't share power, Astarion. You hoard it, even in our relationship. I can never have a fair share!" Her fists clenched, her body trembling with emotion.

What has become of me? A ruler or a tyrant? She sees only the monster... Astarion briefly wondered, the doubt gnawing at the edges of his mind, but he pushed it aside, steeling himself.

"I turned things around? I raised your station, gave you a life of luxury and privilege you could never have hoped to achieve on your own! What more do you want, darling?" He took another step towards her, his voice sharper. "And this nonsense about equality? It's rubbish. You're free to do as you please, as long as it pleases me as well."

"So insidiously hidden, the small print," Sima shot back. "What is equality if not the ability to withstand a difference in opinion? Did you ever really value my opinion, or did you just want a tumble and never felt anything for me at all? If you can't see me as an equal, a true one with value, then you can take your offer of true vampirism and stick it. I will not suffer another day being made to feel less by you!" Her voice trembled with a volatile mix of pain and anger.

Astarion's eyes darkened, his features hardening. "Is that what you thought? That all I wanted was a plaything, a doll to entertain me?" he spat. "You think I never cared? Never felt anything for you?" His breath came in ragged gasps, the weight of her accusations hanging heavy in the air. "You know that's not true. You know it, dammit!"

"Says the man who once put me in a chokehold and kissed me in front of our friends. Or have you forgotten what you were like right after the Ascension? Convenient, isn't it?" Sima's voice cracked with the pain behind her words. She turned away, her black ringlets swaying with her movement.

Astarion's lips curled back, baring his fangs. "Oh, I haven't forgotten, love. I haven't forgotten a single moment, a single touch. You think I would forget how perfect you looked when you were beneath me, submitting to me?" His voice dripped with venom, the memory still fresh and painful. "You think I'd forget the way you looked at me, the defiance in your eyes?"

Sima turned and slapped him hard across the face, her hands trembling as she brought them to her lips in horror. She couldn't bear hearing him speak that way about something that had hurt her so deeply.

Astarion took the slap, his head snapping to the side with the force of it. But he did not wince, did not shrink back. Instead, he let out a low chuckle, rubbing his jaw as he slowly turned his head back to face her. "There she is," he said quietly, satisfaction lacing his words. "There's the fire I know so well."

How can love be both a prison and a promise? Sima’s inner voice was laced with fear and defiance, her heart torn between conflicting emotions.

Sima's eyes blazed with a mix of fury and pain. "I am... sorry. But you do not get to tote out one of my most painful moments and use it for a jest. You do not speak that way to me, ever. Do you understand me? Or I will burn whatever feelings I have for you. So help me by the gods, I will." Her voice trembled, her lip quivering.

Astarion's smile faded, his expression growing serious. "You wouldn't," he whispered, stepping closer. "You're bluffing. That fire within you, you can't deny it. You can't deny us, no matter how hard you fight it." He gripped her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Don't lie to me. Don't you dare lie to me, my love."

"If you continue to treat me like this, I will do more than burn my feelings down for you. I will dance on the ashes," she spat, pushing his hand away. "You do not speak to me as if I am one of your whores. You understand me?" Her voice shook with anger and pain.

His hand dropped to his side, the smirk vanishing. "You think that's how I look at you? As if you were cheap flesh, some mere passing pleasure?" he sneered. "Don't insult me, darling. I may be many things, but I have never seen you as less than what you are." He took a step forward, his body rigid with tension. "You're mine. You will always be mine."

"Then never speak to me like that again. I will not stand for it," Sima said, crossing her arms, her brown eyes full of fury.

"And I will not stand for defiance." Astarion moved closer, his voice a low growl. "What, you expect me to simply ignore the way you behave? To ignore your insolence, your stubbornness, your willful disregard of my feelings?" His body was taut with anger, the lines of his face hardened.

"And do you think I will ignore your disrespect for who I am, my choices, and just give in to your selfish needs always? To ignore my very nature?" Sima shouted back, the tower behind her illuminated in moonlight. The light dappled on them both, highlighting the stark contrast between their desires.

Astarion's eyes narrowed, the veins in his neck standing out as his frustration grew. "Your selfishness, that's what this is about. Your refusal to yield, to submit to me." He lunged forward, grabbing her by the arms and pulling her closer, his grip tight enough to be painful. "You think I enjoy this, that I want to demand your obedience? I would do anything to make you happy if you would just give in."

Why does she resist? Can she not see that this is the only way? Astarion’s thoughts were laced with frustration and desperation as he tried to understand her resistance.

Sima took a deep breath and calmly pushed him away. She looked into his eyes, the brown irises dark and defiant. "No, I will not. I will not accept anything less than being your equal, your true equal. I will not come home with you," she said, softly prying his hands off her shoulders, her stance firm and sure.

He leaned down, his face just inches from hers. "Is it really so difficult to understand? If you would just do as I say, all of this pain, all of this difficulty, it would go away. It doesn't have to be like this, not between us." His hands slid up her arms and over her shoulders, coming to rest gently on either side of her neck, his thumbs lightly tracing her jawline. "Just give in to me, love, and I will make you happy. I promise you. Trust me."

But can I trust him? Can I trust myself? Sima’s thoughts swirled in turmoil as she looked into his eyes, feeling the weight of his words and the pull of his touch.

Sima looked into his crimson eyes and saw two sides of him fighting within—the man she loved and the Ascendant who wanted nothing more than to rule. She couldn't tell which side was winning. She softly removed his hands from her and closed her eyes. "I need time, time away from you to make this choice. I can't come with you to Baldur's Gate, not like this. Not with you like this," she said gently, holding his hands before letting go of them and stepping backward towards the tower.

Astarion's hands lingered on her neck for a moment before he reluctantly pulled away, his eyes dark and calculating in the night. "Time. You want time away from me? You want to think about this, to consider your options?"

He took a step back, his jaw clenching in frustration. "Very well. Have it your way, my love. Take your time. But remember this: no matter how far you run, no matter how long you wait, you will always belong to me."

Sima narrowed her eyes at him. "And perhaps you should take this time too. To see if you are willing to give the things I need, rather than just the things you wish to give me." She spoke softly before turning to head back inside Gale's Wizard Tower, the night air filling the space where she once stood as she closed the grand doors behind her, leaving Astarion on the cobblestones.

Astarion stood, watching the closed door for a long moment, his mind racing. Her words stung, though he made no effort to show it, his expression blank and cold. Damn her… I can’t lose her, but I can’t change either. His thoughts warred within him, the Ascendant in him pushing for control, the man in him yearning for something more.

He stood in place, alone in the night, until he finally turned and walked away, the echo of her words ringing in his mind like a warning bell, a challenge he refused to let slide. With a final, lingering look at the tower, Astarion turned away, his mind already plotting the next move. He would return, and next time, he would not leave without her.

[levi501ackerman]

Steel Heart Chapter 12: Sapphires

Hange x Reader Chapter Index Masterlist

Megan's Note: I'm back from vacation and I have about 10 days until fall semester starts! I plan on nonstop writing<3 I'm so excited for whats to come. Angst, Action and Smut! Posted: 8/17/24

Word Count: 4.1k

As you walked with Dame Hange Zoe in the tall field, it was hard to stomach Zeke’s face. It was hard to stomach that Zeke was the traitor. How could Zeke be the traitor? He had been protecting you since he came to Levi’s camp with the letter from Commander Erwin.

You thought of the day when the Marleyan Cult’s mutts attacked the knights and you on the way to Karanese District. After Beauty stumbled over a horse, you and Levi flew off her back. You were left in the grass helpless while the knights were fighting the vicious dogs. You remembered Zeke guarded you with his body. Zeke put himself in between you and three mutts. He was risking his own life to protect yours.

Unlike the Marleyan Cultists in the Karanese District, Zeke had not been capturing you or taking you away from the knights. A tinge of sympathy for Zeke captivated your thoughts. Was Levi going to kill him? 

“Hange . . . Levi’s not going to kill Zeke, right?” The pause before Hange’s reply put you on edge. A foreboding feeling rose in you. If Zeke was the traitor, how can we tell who to trust? You missed Sir Zacharius and wished he was healthy so you could be with him. He was vetted through Fairy Godmother Christa and Ymir.

“Levi’s just going to ask Zeke a few questions.”

“He was beating Zeke!”

“Princess Y/N, getting you safely to Mitras Castle is the goal.” You groaned at Hange’s words and stomped your foot. There was a pang of frustration when you noticed tears in your eyes. 

“I don’t want to do this! I don’t want to marry Prince Marco. I want my life back! I want to feel safe again!” Another wave of embarrassment overcame you as you realized Hange probably thought you were childish for lashing out your thoughts. If you acted like this in front of Levi, you he would call you a brat. “UGH!” You plopped yourself on the ground and covered your face with your hands.

Hange’s presence came next to you, and you felt a hand on your back.

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Just know I will always keep you safe. You are safe with me until my very last breath. You must feel scared and overwhelmed—”  

“No! I’m sorry for acting like a brat,” you said bitterly, now feeling annoyed with yourself for how you acted. “I don’t know how to explain this . . . but Hange, you’re just very . . . accepting. I feel like . . . like I don't have to be on my best behavior around you . . . like I . . . I don't know how to explain it . . .” You trailed off. For the few times you talked to Hange, they actually talked to you. Being around Hange made you forget about the Marleyan Cult hunting you. 

“You don’t need to explain yourself, Princess! You are not a brat.” You emerged from the hands that were hiding yourself to see Hange giving you a friendly smile. A supportive smile. A cute smile. “Cheer up, darling! You don’t want our pet bunny to meet her mom all upset, do ya?”

“No,” you shook your head. Hange stood tall and then offered you a hand. Your frustration melted away as you hopped onto your feet. Something about Hange’s smile makes you want to be around them more.

“Let’s not think about the cult, Levi or Zeke . . . have you thought about a name for our pet bunny?” Hange was scanning the field of grass. 

“No, I can’t think of a human name to name it. I know you said no names like Fluffy or Cutie, but those are cute names for a rabbit!” There were dead grass pieces and tiny yellow flowers by your feet. The sun in the west sky went behind a white, puffy cloud. In the back of your mind, you couldn’t help but feel worried about Zeke. 

To you, Zeke was like every other knight. Protective, helpful, and he laid down his life for you. The night when a ward of the Marleyan Cult appeared in front of the Karanese District Headquarters, Zeke helped you escape the burning building with the help of some of Levi’s late comrades. You still didn’t know how the headquarters caught fire or who killed Commander Lobov. Levi thought the traitor killed Commander Lobov, but did Zeke ever personally meet Commander Lobov? He was part of the group of knights that went to eat . . . You figured Zeke didn’t need to personally know Commander Lobov to kill him, but what was his reason for doing so?

“What about Daisy or Luna?”

“Cute names, but I’m not feeling it,” you blankly stared ahead. Even if you saw a bunny, you were not in the mindset to catch it.

“Hmm.”

Your stomach grumbled and Hange’s stew was on your mind. It really was delicious and filling. It was a shorter day of travel, but you felt more tired and hungry. A cloud of smoke was coming from the camp. You hoped the knights were beginning to get dinner prepared. You could barely distinguish the knights moving around the camp from the distance.

“Hange? Do you think we can start heading back?” You pointed in the direction of the smoke. Hange bit the inside of their cheek as they noticed the smoke. After several moments of internally debating whether to head back, Hange agreed.

“ . . . Sure,”

“Do you know what we are going to eat tonight?”

“I’m not making dinner tonight, but I know there’s some beef that we can eat, rice, roasted vegetables—of course . . .”

“Can you tell me more bunny facts?” Hange lit up. They suddenly got a pep in their step.

“Of course I can! Did I already tell you about their vision?”

“No!”

“Then I’ll tell you now! Rabbits have great peripheral vision! They can see nearly three hundred and sixty degrees. Wouldn’t it be interesting to see what’s behind you? Like having eyes in the back of your head?”

“Like Levi!”

During dinner, you sat next to Levi, who was eyeing Zeke. He was tied against the tree and blood was sticking to his beard. Three knights were standing around the tree guarding him. A tinge of sympathy spread through your chest. Being next to Captain Levi’s distrusting gaze made you not question whether Zeke was the traitor. Only why? Why did he protect you if he was the traitor? 

Earlier, you were hungry and wanted food after a long day. Now your appetite disappeared while being near Zeke’s slacked and beaten body tied to the tree. Did Levi get more information out of Zeke? You forced yourself to eat the rice, beef, and roasted vegetables. Levi had been making you eat nearly two servings of meals, and with Zeke tied to a tree nearby, it was hard to finish the first plate. You wondered if Zeke would have a meal, but it seemed unlikely due to Levi’s scowl toward him. 

Dinner was quiet, and there was a sense of awkwardness as if the knights were hesitant to speak in front of Zeke. The crackling of fire and the scrapes of silverware against the plates were heard through the camp. Knights faintly whispered to each other. Across the camp, Dame Hange spoke to one of the knights from their squad. You wished they were next to you talking to you. You knew Hange would add a light-hearted energy during dinner.  

Across the campfire, you saw Eren glaring at Zeke, and you remembered he was his half-brother. Though Eren mentioned they were not close, Zeke being a traitor, might have added another wedge between them. There was no distinct way to tell the difference between a member of the Marleyan Cult and a non-cultist. 

“Levi? How did you know Zeke was the traitor? How did you know he was from the Marleyan Cult? Was there a tattoo, or did his accent slip, indicating he was from the cult?” Levi looked at his cup filled with steaming tea. He swirled it and thoughtfully paused. The pause was strained and mindful yet with an admitting cluelessness. 

“There are no good or bad people—only people with beliefs and those against the beliefs. The Marleyan Cult believes you are the chosen one—the key to their ultimate weapon. Then there’s us who believe you are worth living a long life as Queen. If you were born on the other side, you might have believed some other girl is worth sacrificing on their quarter birthday.” 

The following mouthfuls of food were hard to swallow. Levi was lenient on the second plate as long as you finished the first. Later, Levi brought you your nightly cup filled with steaming tea and crushed sleeping pills. You drank the warm tea, and after a while, you started feeling lethargic. 

As the dark twilight sky cast over the camp, Eren and two other knights took the next rotation of guarding Zeke. Before walking toward yours and Hange’s shared tent, you glanced at Zeke one last time—the traitor. A sickening thought came to you; you realized Zeke would have to sleep tied to the tree. Do traitors deserve this? Because people are not for your cause . . . do they deserve inhumane treatment? Zeke—

It clicked.

Maybe all at once.

But a thought was planted in your mind, and it sprouted. 

Zeke exposed you at the Karanese Headquarters when Zeke, Oluo, Eld, and Gunther were helping you reach the stables. 

Were your thoughts betraying you? 

When a knight charging into battle knocked you onto the wet cobblestone, Zeke encouraged you to continue to the stables. He roared your name. 

Did he have to? 

Zeke yelled in front of the Marleyan Cult members, “Princess Y/N! Run!”

Did he mean to?

He made sure the ward attacking Karanese District heard him. Zeke made sure that the cult members knew you were the Princess. After Zeke screamed your title and your name, the cultists turned their attention to you. They captured you and tried to take you. Your heart sank at the connection. While blinking back tears, you felt Zeke's disgusted betrayal, and then your confusion started to fade away. 

You clenched your jaw as you entered your tent. Hange’s candle was lit on the table, but Hange was not in the tent. They were still helping some knights pack what they could before the morning. Tomorrow was the day when you and the group of knights were going to travel through Stohess District. 

You grabbed your nightgown from your cloth bag and changed. The nights felt like they were getting colder. Zeke stayed on your mind as you crawled into your bed roll and closed your eyes. The blanket was pulled up to your chin and you still shivered.

Another sickening realization occurred as you tried to fall asleep. Your eyelids were heavy and your body was tired, but your restless thoughts kept you awake.

The malicious mutts would not have attacked if you and the knights had not traveled toward the Karanese District. If you had not gone to the Karanese District, then a ward of the Marleyan Cult would not have attacked the Karanese Headquarters. How did all those cult members know you were there?

It was planned . . .

You turned over in your bedroll, feeling frustrated that your brain would not turn off. You wanted not to care anymore, but the grapevine of thoughts wouldn’t stop. 

The only reason Levi’s group of knights traveled to Karanese District was because Commander Erwin sent a letter to Captain Levi stating that Trost had a ward of the Marleyan Cult in the city. You recalled Jean, Connie, and Levi discussing the matters of how Commander Erwin reached the Trost District ‘quickly’. You remembered how cautious Levi was about sending messengers off because Levi said he was unsure they were delivered. Another thought occurred: you overheard Hange tell Levi that they were in Trost District where they were supposed to meet with Levi and his group of knights . . .

But according to Commander Erwin’s letter—that was delivered by Zeke—the Marleyan Cult was in Trost. Which is where Dame Hange was with their group of knights . . . You also remembered Hange questioning why Commander Erwin would leave the Castle as if it was highly unlikely for him to do so. With the trust and the length of time Captain Levi and Dame Hange had known each other, you concluded they would believe each other over anyone else. 

Though you heard the last part of their conversation in the tent, they must have shared more information that led to Levi piecing together that Zeke is the traitor.

Did Zeke plan on leading the group of knights to Karanese District so that the Marleyan Cult could potentially capture you?

Wait.

Did Zeke know there were going to be the Marleyan’s mutts attacking you, him, and the other knights? What would have happened if the mutts possibly attacked and killed you?

You sat up in your bedroll.

You remembered when a man yelled at other cult members not to hurt you because you had to be healthy for the ritual. Could that be why Zeke shielded you with himself from the mutts the day when the dogs were attacking?

As Hange entered the tent, one last thought made you want to throw up. It made you freeze in your bedroll. You swallowed and felt a drop of sweat slide down your temple. It is true . . . Zeke is the traitor . . . because on that day. That day when the hounds lunged at the knights, the horses, and you . . . even when Zeke was between you and three dogs . . . 

The mutts never attacked Zeke. 

“Princess, you should be asleep by now,” Hange whispered. You exhaled and slowly laid back into your bedroll. The weight of the realization on your mind and the heaviness of the truth. The acceptance of the truth. 

You closed your eyes and did not want to converse with Hange. Though there was a sense of relief that Hange was near you, they would protect you if Zeke broke free and attempted to do anything malicious. You knew Hange would keep you safe.

Hange blew out the candle in the tent and you opened your eyes to Hange walking to the bedroll next to yours. The night before with Hange in the tent, it was more light-hearted, talking about bunnies and them showing you their book. Now, it was heavily clouded with thoughts of Zeke’s betrayal. Were there other traitors—

As Hange undressed themselves, you saw their back muscles again. The tent's darkness masked your rudeness of staring, but you couldn’t look away. With the cold, you had no idea how Hange slept in only underwear; you noticed they weren’t wearing clothes the night before either. Maybe it was because they didn’t like the feeling of the collar of shirts tight around their neck as they shifted in their sleep. You sympathized with your dislike of your nightgown twisting around your body while you shifted in your sleep. Hange removed their eye patch and glasses and crawled into their bedroll. 

Fairy Godmothers Christa and Ymir would not answer certain questions you had about your body or romance. They taught you more important things, but they were also your guardians and maybe those topics are meant for others, like friends. Maybe Hange would answer why you wanted to look at their body. Their muscles. You were only curious . . . 

The morning ride to Stohess District came too soon. It felt like you didn’t get enough sleep. Your head pounded when Hange woke you up. The daylight was too bright while you packed your bedroll and cloth bag. Even an hour after waking up, your headache remained. The day would be long because the plan was to not stop in Stohess but get supplies and hand Zeke over to the guards in the headquarters.

As you held onto Levi’s waist, you closed your eyes and rested your cheek on his shoulder. Levi kept shimmying his shoulder, trying to keep you awake. The sun shone down on you and the heat added to your fatigue. 

“Levi . . . let me rest, please. I didn’t sleep well last night,” you begged.

“You drank all the tea, right?”

“Yeah, I just couldn’t stop thinking about Zeke . . .”

“You won’t need to think about him ever again. He’ll be put in a cell and guarded in Stohess.” The sound of horse hooves galloping on the ground filled your ears. The outer gate of Stohess was closer and the village outside of the gate was growing bigger in sight. 

“I also had the longest dream . . . it was weird and I only remember parts of it,” you said and Levi paused for a moment. “It felt like I didn’t sleep at all . . .”

“What was your dream about?”

“I fell through a hole and ended up in a strange place and I had to figure out how to get back to my real life. I met strange people that felt . . . familiar. That’s all I remember.”

“Honestly, I had a weird dream last night too,” Levi said quietly and you stared ahead, waiting for Levi to continue. He did not seem like a person to be interested in or care about dreams. “I had a dream someone turned into a swan and I couldn’t save them.”

“A swan?!” You laughed and smiled. As stoic as Levi was, he was like you, a person who had weird dreams.

“A swan.” 

Stohess District did not look like Shiganshina or Karanese District. The street was made of concrete, unlike cobblestone. The architecture was different as well. The district didn’t look like a village but a city. Homes looked like buildings with neatly organized layouts, and tall Italian cypress trees were planted perfectly to complement the view.

There were strips of land with healthy green grass that the citizens didn’t walk on. It was like it was for show. The grass was not overgrown like the grass you have seen between the districts. It was short, healthy, and well-kept. 

The citizens of Stohess District didn’t look like Shiganshina or Karanese district citizens, either. Their clothes looked cleaner and better fitting as if they didn’t wear hand-me-downs from older siblings. Stohess citizens wore clothes that looked fitted to them, classier and cleaner. They also had a sense of style. The citizens had accessories to express style, not for convenience. 

As you and the group of knights rode through the clean streets, the citizens did not call out to the knights. You caught a few whispers from the citizens, unlike in the Karanese District, where they heckled the knights. 

The citizens were not as in awe or interested in the group of knights or you as if they often saw knights in the city. You recalled when Hange said they were in Stohess District before heading to Trost to meet with Levi’s group. 

The Stohess District Headquarters building was large and had a dome at the top. It was gated like the Headquarters in Karanese District. Knight Commander Dame Hange rode ahead of the formation. They were the first to enter the steel gates and led the group to the entrance. Twice as many knights as Karanese were guarding the yard of the Stohess District Headquarters. Knowing there were plenty of guards if anything happened gave you a sense of comfort.

The knights on the horses pulling the supply wagon rode toward the front and stopped at the entrance near Hange. A few knights came out of the building and you saw Hange talking to them. You noticed Hange was gesturing with their hands a lot and it seemed like they met the person before.

When Beauty came to a halt, Levi jumped off her and helped you down. Behind you, Jean was getting off his horse and pulling off a blindfolded, gagged, and tied-up Zeke Yeager. Eren and Connie also jumped off their horses, and they strode over to Zeke's side.

“Supply team, follow Sannes to collect the shields! The rest stay with the horses!” Hange ordered, walking through the group of knights. The knights saluted Hange, and a group of knights followed Sannes through the entrance of the Stohess Headquarters. 

“You’re staying with Hange while we take Zeke into a cell,” Levi said into your ear. You nodded at Levi, not minding being with Hange. Levi walked to the knights and Zeke and then you strolled over to Hange. 

“Hi, Hange,” you caught up with Hange’s walk. You haven’t spoken with them since they woke you up and there was a realization that you missed their presence. “I’m going to stay with you while Levi’s taking care of Zeke . . .”

“Ew, I’m going to have to put up with you?” Hange playfully said and scrunched their nose, feigning disgust. You slapped the armor covering their bicep.

“I’m not gross! More like I’m going to have to put up with you, Dame Hange,” You smiled and locked with Hange’s brown eye behind their glasses. Waiting for their reaction and then suddenly—

“Boop,” they poked your rib through your cloak and the clothes Hange lent you. They turned on their heels, heading toward the entrance of the Stohess District Headquarters. 

“Yeah, yeah, and I’m the ten-year-old,” you said, following after them. When you entered the door, you didn’t take in the surroundings of the headquarters' interior. You were too focused on provoking a reaction from Hange. You poked Hange’s armor, and they kept walking. Then you knocked on Hange’s armor, and the deep steel noise rang through the hall you walked through. They kept walking. You gave up when you realized the supply team knights holding heater-shaped shields were staring. Then Hange turned and poked your nose.

“Boop.”

“Ugh!”

Hange approached the man they had been talking to earlier. He was holding a clipboard and counting all the shields leaving the room. As you drew closer, he looked over his clipboard and glanced at you, then Hange. 

“I can give thirty-five fireproof sapphire and steel shields, fifteen bows, three hundred arrows, and the last-minute six-inch dagger you requested,” Sannes said. He was an older man, and his patience looked thin. His face killed the playful mood you felt around Hange. You stayed still, trying to look presentable. 

“Thank you, Djel Sannes—it was a pleasure working with you,” Hange said. They held their hand out for him, and he didn’t shake it. You furrowed your eyebrows at his unpleasant attitude and demeanor. 

“Only did it because Knight Commander Nile Dawk headed off to Mitras Castle, leaving me to handle his work,” Sannes said flatly. 

“And we are grateful for your diligent and hasty work,” Hange said, and Sannes eyed you. He stared at you then back at Hange. Sannes had a suspicious look on his face like he was figuring out who you were.

“What is your name?” He asked slowly and you glanced at Hange before replying.

“My name is Y/N . . .” Sannes continued to stare at you then he hummed softly. 

“Princess Y/N?” You nodded. Then Sannes lowered his clipboard to his side, not taking his eyes off of you. “I’m sorry about your mother.” You furrowed your eyebrows and then glanced at Hange to see if they understood what Sannes meant. Though his face was apathetic, there was an underlying sound of pity.

“Uh, thank you—wait why?”

“You haven’t heard?” Hange was already looking at you, and they were confused too. “Your mother has fallen quite ill . . . the Queen is on her deathbed.”

Your body was petrified, and you felt confused. You knew you were supposed to care, yet there was little to no sorrow. The Queen—who was your mother—was someone you had never met before. Fairy Godmothers Christa and Ymir didn’t mention your mother or father much, only that they were the Rulers of the Walls. Christa and Ymir were more like parents to you. You haven’t spent much time wondering about the Queen and her King. Then you figured . . . you did want to meet the people who gave birth to you . . .

“Thank you for telling me . . .” Sannes didn’t salute you or kneel; instead he nodded. 

“Dame Hange. When they're done, tell your men to head to the dining hall to collect food and more supplies.” Sannes walked past you and Hange. You glanced at Hange and then shrugged at their sympathetic look. 

“I’m sorry about your mother, Princess.”

“I’m fine, Hange. I didn’t know her,” your eyes darted away from them and then they wrapped their arms around you. They stroke your back, and for a moment, you forgot to hug back. Then you wrapped your arms around Hange’s waist. 

“Cheer up, darling! I have something that will get your mind off your troubles.”

“What . . . ?”

“I have a little gift for you.”

next chapter: Chapter 13: Two Swans

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