#I had to google types of guns for this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crappy-writings · 8 days

Text

The Run and Go

Natasha RomanoffxEx-Widow!Reader // Enemies to Lovers(Ish), Angst, Series (?)

*Images are not mine, credit to its sources and creators

Prompt: You, an ex-Red Room graduate turned mercenary, take up an assignment to retrieve some sensitive information from the Triskelion. You run into Natasha as you escape, much to your anger. You can’t seem to escape her after this first encounter as different circumstances force you to work together.

Summary: The Triskelion’s infiltration was going so well. That was until a certain redhead makes an appearance, leading to a long-awaited confrontation.

Trigger Warning: Poorly researched hacking concepts and lingo, bad spy/escape sequence, guns, google-translated Russian, swearing, canon-typical violence, implied/mentioned physical and emotional child abuse, the Red Room, bad fight scene, minor injury, let me know if I need to add more.

Word Count: 3,858

A/N: Did I watch Iron Man 2, Captain America and the Winter Soldier and Black Widow, analyzing Nat’s and other Widows’ fight styles? Yes, yes I did. Was I successful in writing an interesting fight scene in line with what I saw? Probably not, no, but here we are.

Let me know if anything needs to be fixed!

Part 2 ->

Main Masterlist | MCU Masterlist | Recced Fics

Breaking into the Triskelion had been almost effortless. It was easy to slip into its walls without raising suspicion, to become invisible once inside. No one expects a mouse to simply walk into the cat’s den. Then again, you were not a mouse, and the cat thought itself untouchable.

There was no air of importance to your stride, no urgency in your steps. Your clothes showed little rank, most agents barely sparing you a first glance as you walked through the hallways alongside them, not realizing you were most definitely not one of them. Pride was always the downfall of man, you thought.

The hallways and floors all seemed the same to you. The absence of windows was glaring in the lower levels, being only lit up by white, fluorescent lights, basking the stone walls in a similar hue. The floors were a familiar, polished, gray color, reflecting the light upwards. Despite the unoriginality of the corridors, you’re able to find the control room rather quickly, having already memorized the interior layout of the building before even dreaming of stepping inside. It was somewhat dark inside the control room, mainly lit up by the several rows of screen monitors and a few of the same fluorescent lights that decorated the hallways.

There was a singular agent in there when you stepped inside. He barely looks up from his screen, unbothered by your sudden intrusion. You pick a desk and sit down, beginning your search for the files your employer had asked for.

There was a vulnerability in one of the system's firewalls, one you quickly exploited. It took you longer than you wanted to admit, but you were able to completely break through it, making it easier to find the necessary files. A cough interrupted your concentration, causing you to turn to look at the agent sharing the space with you. His eyes never strayed from his own monitor, raising a cup to his lips as he continued to type away on his keyboard. After confirming you were still in the clear, you returned to your work.

It took you a few extra minutes to find the ones you were looking for but were able to download all of them onto the pendrive given to you by your employer. Once you had everything, you deleted all the information you took from S.H.I.E.L.D.’s servers. You even deployed a nasty virus that will keep them occupied for a few days for good measure.

There is a small part of you that feels satisfaction at having been able to take something from the organization as easily as you had. You stand nonchalantly from the seat you had claimed as yours, approaching the communal pot of coffee hidden away in one of the room’s corners. The singular agent hidden behind his monitor just barely acknowledges you, his eyes leaving his monitor for a few seconds before returning to his work. You serve yourself some coffee in a paper cup, taking a few sips before slipping out of the room.

The problem had never been getting in. No, it was about getting out.

The walk to the elevator was relatively short, the hallway empty as you made your way towards it. It was almost eerie, the way things were going, given that it was typically around this part where you would walk into some form of trouble. You knew that downloading that information was going to tip off some server moderators, adding an extra layer of difficulty to your escape. Even so, the invisibility you have managed to maintain is still your greatest weapon.

Two agents stepped out of the elevator once it had reached your floor. One of them acknowledged you with a singular nod while the other barely spared you a glance.

You step into the now empty space, the computer screen showcasing your face, along with a fake alias and a serial ID number. The creation and uploading of the fake S.H.I.E.L.D. agent profile had taken you weeks to accomplish, but its completion was the key to slipping in and out of the building mostly undetected. Having some of the organization’s face-changing technology would have made the infiltration a lot easier, but that technology is too safely guarded for you to have been able to get your hands on it.

The doors had not shut closed yet, waiting for you to state your destination. “Lobby,” a voice that is not your own rings out from your vocal cords. The voice moderator that you had nicked from one of your past jobs had come quite in handy, especially for this mission. The piece of technology was hidden away under the collar of your stolen uniform, its detection nearly impossible.

“Confirmed,” the automated voice of the computer rang out into the enclosed space, and finally began its descent. Breathing was becoming an easier task as you were one step closer out the Triskelion’s door.

The elevator stopped a few times as it continued to go down, letting agents in and out on different floors. Most of their trips were short, some engaging in small talk before exiting the confined space.

“Controls,” an older man dressed in a blue suit commanded, followed by the computer’s robotic voice, “Confirmed.” He had a kind face, dark brown eyes aged with crow’s feet and his hair white and thinning.

“Working hard or hardly working?” the man asked, his tone light and jovial, as the elevator continued its descent. You sent him a friendly smile, adding a small chuckle for good measure.

“Not sure yet,” you replied, not dropping the smile, “Every day is unpredictable in S.H.I.E.L.D.”

The man replied with a chuckle of his own, “That, it is.” The elevator opened into another level, allowing the man to step out. He sends you a friendly smile as he departs, leaving you alone in the confined space once more.

You reach the lobby shortly after. The space was wide, a glass canopy overhead, allowing the warm glow of sunlight to stream in. The walls were decorated with a mixture of off-white stone, dark tile and stained wood, the floor a dark gray that complemented the space nicely. S.H.I.E.L.D.’s emblem was showcased proudly in the very center of the room, reminding everyone who walked inside of where they stood.

The lobby was full of people, some dressed in nice, neutral-colored suits, while others were dressed in tactical gear. Security hung around the entrances and exits, eyes sharp as they overlooked the crowd.

There was purpose in your stride now. The longer you took to get out, the larger the possibility of getting caught. It was only a matter of minutes before someone noticed the missing information that burned in your uniform pocket, if they did not know already.

You made your way across the lobby unperceived. The sense of satisfaction from a successful mission had begun to bloom in your chest as you easily blended into the large group of agents that zipped in and out of the building. That was until you felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, the sensation of a pair of eyes staring you down from somewhere behind you making you come to a stop.

Your eyes scanned the room methodically, until you spotted a set of familiar green eyes and fiery red hair, ones you thought you would never see again. There was a flicker of recognition in her features, but it lasted for less than a second, slipping on her perfectly crafted mask of indifference, her expression unreadable as neither of you break eye contact. A wave of burning hot emotion overcomes you, before you stamp it out. Emotion is a weakness. Emotion is for children. Emotion gets you killed.

Neither one of you had looked away from each other, as if a silent conversation was being held between the both of you. You subtly raise your head, your eyes narrowed and daring. It was a silent challenge, and invitation to your long-awaited encounter. It was a dangerous game to play while in the confines of hundreds, if not thousands, of highly trained agents, especially when one of those agents was Natasha Romanoff, but it was one you would play, nonetheless.

You’re the first one to break eye contact with her, quickly becoming invisible within the crowd of agents. A cat has spotted you and was about to give chase.

It would almost be thrilling to be running from the Black Widow turned Avenger, were it not for the blazing resentment snaking its way through your chest. It had been years since you last saw her, her defection to the very organization you just stole from had left you filled with a sense of bitterness and betrayal.

The rest of your journey towards the garage went uninterrupted, but you know she was somewhere nearby, following your moves closely as you weaved through the lower levels. Spotting the redhead had suddenly made you itch for a fight, adrenaline fueling your body.

Your bike comes into view as you reach the final garage level. The vehicle was hidden away in a secluded part of the parking space, far away from the other cars. The keys jingled in your hand as you pulled them out of your uniform pocket. You would have closed the distance between you and your escape, except that you felt her ghost-like presence lurking from behind you, finally making herself known.

With a singular deep breath, you stick your hand out to the side, showcasing your keys to her before tossing them forwards, the sound of metal clattering against the smooth asphalt a few feet from your motorcycle.

“I didn’t expect to ever see you again, Romanoff,” your modified voice echoed in the vastness of the garage. Your hand instinctively reaches for your concealed gun, pulling it out in one swift movement as you turn to face her.

“I would say the same to you,” she stood a few feet away from you, her stance paralleling yours, guns raised and aimed at each other’s heads. Her eyes had a hard edge to them as she stared you down, “Why are you here?”

“Just seeing the sights of Washington, D.C. There’re so many museums here, you know?” there is vexation in your tone despite your sarcastic words, “Plus, how could I skip out on admiring the Triskelion’s architecture? Bet the engineers had fun building it.”

The both of you had stepped closer to each other without realizing it, her firearm about a foot away from your own. She ignores your quip, instead choosing to make a go for your gun. You mirror her movements, both of you trading guns before aiming them at one another once more.

Neither of you said anything as you continued to stare each other down, the tension thick enough to be cut by the edge of a knife. Her eyes were studying yours, searching for something and you’re not quite sure what it is. There was a subtle change in her stance shortly after as she dared you to make the first move. So, you did. You went for her gun again, this time flinging it across the empty garage, the piece of metal skidding across the asphalt. She does the same, the Red Room’s training being activated on pure instinct.

The beginning of your fight was not a fight at all, though. You were both following a basic combat sequence of simple parries and blows taught to you in the confines of the Red Room. The drill was the one that was taught to the youngest of girls, set to provide them with the basics. It was more of a dance for the both of you, perfectly choreographed and in sync with the others' familiar response. It was child’s play.

For a brief moment, you felt like you were back in the Red Room, the both of you locked in the familiar dance as your handlers watched you engage in a sparring match. The parries and blows you sent each other’s way were predictable, neither of you having the heart to truly fight and hurt the other. Your punishments for your defiance would vary, the ones you remember most being obligated to practice the same ballet move until your feet bled. The other usual punishment was to be made to fight an older Widow, one that would not hesitate to hurt you, to teach you a lesson for holding back. Eventually, your sparring sessions no longer started with the predictable routine of parries and blows, replaced by hard tackles to the ground, bruising kicks and skin-breaking hits.

Old habits die hard, it seems.

Your mind snaps out of it as she grabs hold of your arm mid-swing before securing a hold over your shoulder, allowing her to throw you onto the ground. The wind is knocked out of your lungs, and it takes you a few seconds too long for you to recover.

“What did you do?” She asks as she manages to hold you in place, her legs straddling your waist while her arms have you pinned down against the ground.

“That’s not your concern, dorogoy,” you smirk up at her as you smash your forehead against her mouth. The distraction allows you enough time to securely grab her by her forearms, your freed legs find her stomach, flipping her over you. She lands roughly a few inches over your own head, the force of the flip enough to leave her stunned for a few moments, allowing you to quickly get to your feet.

“I have to go,” the voice moderator that had been hidden under your collar was knocked loose, your voice sounding strange as you taunt her, “It was nice seeing you.” You were scooping your bike’s keys from the ground before she pushed you into the vehicle, knocking you both onto the ground.

In hindsight, it was dumb of you to believe she would stay down.

The back of your head hits against the floor, stars filling your vision for a few moments, your bike tangled under your feet. You feel her grab the fabric of your stolen trainee uniform, dragging you away from your bike and towards one of the garage's walls.

You struggle against her, managing to break free from her hold. Once back on your feet, you send a few firm punches her way, and she is unable to dodge a few of them.

You were sloppy in your attack though, as she gets a firm grasp on your arm once more. Her other hand gets a hold of your shoulder and pushes you back up against the building, slamming you against the wall once, twice, three times. A string of coughs escapes you, air not reaching your lungs. You feel the fight begin to leave your body and hate that she was able to incapacitate you. In a last-ditch effort, you press your hands against her face, forcefully pushing against her with all your might. This somewhat works, placing a bit more space between you, enough for you to raise your leg, and knee her in the stomach. This sends her back a few inches and you send another swift kick to the affected area. Your legs react before your mind does, trying to close the distance between you and your knocked over bike, the keys within your view on the ground.

You were still a few feet away when you felt a sharp and burning sting emanate from your lower back, your body locking up against your will and effectively sending you tumbling to the ground. She threw a fucking Widow Bite at you.

“Cheater!” you yell at her, your body completely unable to move. She catches up to you, one arm cradling her stomach, before grabbing you by the scruff of the stolen uniform and dragging you up against the nearest wall. Your body felt numb, every single one of your nerve endings having been lit on fire mere seconds ago.

“I’m not gonna ask you again, what the fuck are you doing here?” her tone is hard and almost dangerous, her eyes scanning over every single one of your features in search of any telltale signs of a lie. It was only now that you realized that she was bleeding from her slightly swollen lip, a trail of crimson running down her chin. There’s a small, sick sense of pride that settles within you as you watch the blood flow from the split lip you gave her.

“Fuck you, Romanoff, I don’t owe you shit,” the familiar sparks of anger were building up inside your chest.

“Answer the question,” her tone is even and low. It was not until now that you realized she had picked up one of the discarded firearms, the barrel of the gun being pointed directly at your head. Something within you was emboldened by this, leaning forwards as the tip of the gun presses lightly against your forehead.

“You’re not gonna shoot me,” your eyes staring directly into hers in defiance.

“How are you so sure about that?” she asked through narrowed eyes, digging the barrel further into your skin, her finger hugging the trigger but not squeezing it.

“Because you would have shot me the second you saw me if you truly wanted me dead,” you reply, and the words taste bitter in your mouth. There is a visceral hatred in the gaze you level at her, the teasing air that had coated your initial confrontation having completely dissolved.

“Why are you so angry at me?”

The question had been so simple. It made you want to explode.

“Did-did you seriously just ask me that? I have to tell you?” you almost choke on the acidity that coursed through your tongue as you spoke those words. A bitter laugh makes its way past your lips, your head shaking slightly as a sense of indignation floods your chest.

“Tell me Natalia, did you think that everything would be magically solved the day you defected?” The burning sensation of unfiltered anger and overwhelming resentment are spilling out of you, and you do your best to push them away forcefully. Your mask cannot break. Your mask will not break.

Emotion is a weakness. Emotion is for children. Emotion gets you killed.

The words repeated over and over again in your head, a never-ending chant driven into you by your handlers. Emotion had always been the one thing that you struggled with in the program as a child, constantly making you hesitate and clouding your judgment. Your handlers recognized this weakness in you, and they worked you tirelessly, trying to stomp it out of you. Your struggle against emotion is what got you recycled four times before you finally graduated.

Natasha’s face gave away no indication of what she was thinking. Her features were schooled perfectly into a mask of indifference, and that made you all the more angry.

“I had to get out,” she defends herself; the gun being slightly lowered.

“I don’t care,” you want to yell, you want to scream, but you don’t, “You leaving made The Red Room all the more difficult to survive.”

Something about what you just said made a crack in Natasha’s mask. It was nearly imperceivable, but you saw the twitch her brows made at your statement.

“The Red Room doesn’t exist anymore. Dreykov is dead,” she states factually. Her tone was so confident, so sure, you almost believed her. But she was wrong. He may have gone into hiding, never showing his face, but his whispers still rang inside the halls of the Red Room, his fingers choking the life out of every Widow still stuck there. His presence was a stain that would never leave.

You can’t suppress the bitter laugh that escapes you, “Is that what S.H.I.E.L.D. told you?”

The numbing feeling that had spread throughout your body was beginning to wear off. There’s a small twitch in your leg, one that Natasha notices and she knows she is running out of time.

“I was there, we rigged bombs up a five-story building,” Natasha recounts, her eyes taking a similar hard edge from earlier.

“The Red Room still exists, Natasha,” you talk low and slowly, your tone was no longer defensive or angry. She needs to know she is wrong. “Dreykov isn’t dead.”

“It’s impossible, I killed him,” she restated adamantly. Her mask was slowly cracking, but you do not feel victorious about it.

“He’s alive, Romanoff. I’m not fucking with you,” your tone was exasperated, “Why would I lie?”

“Why are you here?”

“Chert poberi,” the curse slips past your lips, your annoyance at the redhead radiating off of you, “I took a job, I’m a mercenary now, that’s all you need to know.” You finally push yourself off the ground, your legs stumbling slightly as the pins and needles continue to prickle under your skin. She allows you to stand, backing away from you with her gun still trained on your head.

“Listen, I don’t care if you believe me or not. Dreykov is not dead, and the Red Room is still alive and well. You don’t need me to tell you what happens in there,” you shook your head gently as the familiar, bitter taste of your words coat your tongue.

You made no effort to move away from her yet, despite desperately wanting to leave. Her gun was still trained on you, and you were beginning to doubt whether or not she would actually shoot you. A single wrong move could mean the difference between life and death, or worse, getting turned in.

But she was no longer focused on you. Her mask had slipped off, and for the first time since you were children, you could read every emotion in her eyes. There was conflict there, torn between the lie she had convinced herself of and the reality of your words. There was wariness in her gaze, but there was something else too, something bigger.

It was guilt.

She believes you.

You begin to move away from the wall she had you pinned against, your bike about ten feet away from you. It’s clear she has no intentions of stopping you, instead lowering her gun slowly, her eyes never leaving yours.

She… she was letting you go.

The gaze you send her is cautious and untrusting, but you continue to move away from her, nonetheless. She eventually breaks the eye contact you had maintained, her eyes dropping down to the ground, her breaths slow, heavy and unsteady. There is enough space between the both of you for you to run. You caution one last look at her, but she has not moved a muscle.

“See you around, Romanoff,” Your tone is not victorious nor teasing, it’s dejected and almost sad.

With that, you run towards your bike, scooping your keys from the ground swiftly before driving away, leaving Natasha behind with her thoughts.

Part 2 ->

#marvel #marvel fanfic #avengers #natasha romanoff fanfiction #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha x reader #black widow x reader

72 notes · View notes

funishment-time · 3 months

Text

Kodaka BlueSky Q&As: Male DR Characters (Specific)

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: Please be advised! Translations of all Japanese answers derive from a combination of Google Translate and my manager's three-quarters-remembered Japanese. We've tried our best to work out what he's saying, but there will be mistakes here and there. Do not take this as gospel!

To avoid spreading (too much) misinfo, where we're completely boggled about an answer, we've decided not to even make an attempt. We'll still list the post, but mark it accordingly.

➡️ AN IMPORTANT NOTE FROM KODAKA BEFORE READING:

First of all, the questions answered here are not official. Everything that is official is what is said within the work. In contrast, this is simply what Kodaka, the creator, thinks, and it is not the correct answer. Use this as a starting point to enjoy the depth of each character, or to say, "That's not right!" and enjoy it with your own interpretation. I think of this as a way of communicating with the characters who live in fiction. This is important, so please spread the word.

💕 FEBRUARY 2024:

Q: What do you think of Matsuda Yasuke?!

A: As I was writing, I thought he was a fascinating and cool guy.

/////

Q: Is there any difference in the mindset of Ouma Kokichi (main story) and Ouma Kokichi (salmon mode)?

A: I didn't write Salmon Mode, I left that up to the staff.

NOTE: As stated, Kodaka didn't write V3's "dating sim" mode. You'll see him refer to that a few times.

/////

Q: If you have a favorite character in Danganronpa, I'd like to hear it and why.

A: I wrote them all as if they were the main characters, so I like them all, but I guess it's Monokuma. He was the first character I created.

/////

Q: Before the release of V3, Saihara-kun was often mistaken for a woman, but was that something you were aiming for? Also, was it you who chose the voice actor?

A: That wasn't my intention. I did want him to appear timid, though. I think out of the several candidates I received, Hayashibara-san was my first choice, and I said "Yes, please!"

/////

Q: Were there any characters that you had trouble moving around the narrative after creating them? If not, please tell us which character was the easiest to move!

A: Tanaka Gundam was too much of a chuunibyou and it was difficult. The ones that were easiest to move were Monokuma, Ouma, and Hagakure!

NOTE: A "chuunibyou" is a kid, generally 12-13, who believes they have secret powers or a grand backstory. Gundham's a bit old to be a chuuni by Kodaka's own admission in the DR2 artbook, but that was apparently part of the charm (and why it was so difficult to write him). It's spiritual Naruto running.

/////

Q: A question! Fujisaki's middle school uniform is different in the anime version of DR1 (navy blue collar) and Ultra Despair Girls (pink collar). Is there any intention behind this? I'd like to play Kodaka's games even years and decades from now! I'll continue to support you 🎮

A: With anime, there are a lot of different things going on and things like color settings often change. Thank you! I'll keep working hard so that everyone can enjoy it, even if it kills me!

/////

Q: How happy do you think Hinata would be if you gave him some kusamochi?

A: Hinata: "Oh, kusamochi! I love it! Hey, let's eat it together! Oh, I'll go make some tea!"

NOTE: Kusamochi is a type of sweet.

/////

Q: What happens if you point an electrified hammer or Komaru's megaphone-type hacking gun at Keebo?

A: This is gross discrimination against robots! Don't ever do this!

/////

Q: Ishimaru-kun, do you like to put lemon on your fried chicken?

A: He's the type of person who likes to put lemon on others' portions as well.

/////

Q: After the ending of the Hope Arc anime, what are Hinata and the others doing? Are they still supporting the Future Foundation from behind the scenes? Or are they just normally affiliated with the Future Foundation?

A: I guess he pretends to act the role as an enemy of the world, ostensibly as an enemy of the fallen Future Foundation, but uses his talents to save various people as he moves from one place to another.

/////

Q: Could you please tell us what kind of discussions and circumstances took place among the production team that led to Tanaka Gundam's pants becoming like that?

A: It's just for fun.

/////

Q: Lately, I've been wondering about Ishimaru's life in junior high school, and I'm in a state where all I can eat is sweet food!

A: He had a free-spirited friend like Shin-chan from Crayon Shin-chan, and he was constantly being pushed around by him. But then the friend moved away, and young Ishimaru was lonely.

/////

Q: What's going on with Kamukura Izuru after Danganronpa Anime 3: Future Arc/Despair Arc? Do you feel like Kamukura Izuru has lost his personality?

A: I figured that he had fused with Hinata...or rather, that he had been almost absorbed into him.

/////

Q: I would like to know the people who are "not boring" to Ouma...

A: Boring people.

/////

Q: What do you think of Sakura Ogami, Kenshiro?

A: Although he has mixed feelings towards her, he believes she is a good rival.

/////

Q: Why did Momota-kun want to hug Akamatsu-san in v3-1? Was it because he had romantic feelings for her, or did he want her to hit on him in the confusion, or did he have any ulterior motives?

A: Momota immediately hugged her in gratitude.

/////

Q: Sorry if this has already been said. When I first watched Danganronpa, I was really drawn to Togami-kun's charm, but even though he has no flaws, does he have a weakness for his favorite person or for ____?

A: Weak to Naegi.

/////

Q: Does Komaeda Nagito know about cat memes?

A: I want to see a Komaeda cat meme. Someone make one. A Ouma cat meme would be fine too.

/////

Q: What does it look like to those around you when you are doing Logic Dives or Hangman's Gambit?

A: "Hinata! Come back! Hey, can you hear me?! No good, I'll have to give you stronger medicine!"

NOTE: It's unclear who's answering. Mikan?

🍀 MARCH 2024:

Q: Excuse me for the second question! Komaeda's parents have passed away, so who raised him when he was a child? I'm also curious if Komaeda's hair is bed hair or naturally curly 🙏🏻

A: "I grew up alone. Luckily. I have curly hair."

/////

Q: Hello! I've always loved the Danganronpa 3 anime!! 🥲 (I'm waiting for new merchandise to come out♡) I have a question. After the main story of the anime, Munakata Kyosuke continues to fight the remnants of despair while carrying the memory of Yukizome and Sakakura, but did he end up finding happiness in the end? If you feel like it, please answer! 🙇‍♂️

A: He fights here and there, covered in wounds, and sometimes sleeps, reminiscing about the past... This lonely battle continues. The only time he can be happy is when he is able to forgive his own sins.

/////

Q: Please tell me what type of girl you like, Amami-kun!! (Sorry if this has already been said 💦)

A: Rich.

/////

Q: What kind of clothes does Fujisaki Chihiro like to wear (or usually wear)?

A: Unisex jeans.

NOTE: It's not exactly a question so I won't list it here, but a Chihiro fan responded with excitement, at which Kodaka replied "100 points for your reaction."

/////

Q: What is your favorite food, Momota-kun? What is your favorite drink? Or your favorite planet or your favorite galaxy. Anything is fine, I want to know. Please tell me about Momota-kun.

A: "I like big portions and colorful things. Things that have an American feel to them."

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question...! When he goes to a restaurant such as a family restaurant to celebrate a sports festival or cultural festival, does Keebo have to split the bill?

A: "I split the bill. I have fun using the serving robots."

NOTE: Probably referring to restaurants in Japan that have automated servers. Cold, Keebo.

/////

Q: What kind of dreams does Ouma-kun have when he catches a cold?

A: Infinitely multiplying Keebos.

/////

Q: I wonder what would happen if you forced food and drink into Keebo's mouth?

A: It comes out of the lower half of his body as warm as a microwave oven.

/////

Q: I like Kuwata Leon, and I want to know more about him. Are there any stories about him that haven't been revealed yet? I'd like to know if there are any...

A: "I'm always looking for band members. Lately, I've been thinking about getting into TikTok, so I'm recruiting cute girls."

/////

Q: Please tell us what type of girl you like, Komaeda-kun!

A: "I love girls who are full of hope, and I hate girls who are full of despair too much to love them."

/////

Q: Ouma was held captive by Gonta overnight in a pretty hopeless room with a ton of bugs flying around, so how did he manage to survive?

A: "I stopped thinking about it."

/////

Q: Please tell me what type of girl Owada Mondo likes!!

A: At the very least, he seems to dislike noisy ones.

/////

Q: I want to know what type of girl Ouma likes!

A: "Anyone who will listen to anything I say."

/////

Q: Does Fujisaki have a favorite food?

A: Mini katsudon.

NOTE: Katsudon is a pork cutlet bowl.

/////

Q: Hi Mr. Kodaka! What kind of music does Monokuma like? Is it different than what Junko would like?

A: Monokuma likes enka.

NOTE: Enka is a Japanese style of music often compared to the blues or jazz.

/////

Q: whats korekiyos favorite holiday?

A: To make friends with his sister.

/////

Q: What did Jin think of the Reserve Course? Did he see them as a cash cow, like the researchers at Hope's Peak, or as talentless underachievers?

A: Originally it was meant to be a safety net and a growth opportunity, but at some point it became mainly about collecting payments, which caused some conflict.

/////

Q: [You guys are going to think I'm making this up, but I believe the question had something to do with how Nagito would ask Hajime to hang out with him. It's since been deleted, but I think there are still screenshots, which I will find and half-assedly machine translate ASAP.]

A: "First, I have to do something about Nanami."

/////

Q: [Similar to the above, I'm pretty sure this question had to do with how Nagito would ask someone out romantically. Again, it's since been deleted, but I think there are still screenshots, which I will, again, find and half-assedly machine translate ASAP.]

A: "I'll go out with you if you do something about Nanami."

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! In Ultra Despair Girls, Fujisaki Taichi had a photo of Fujisaki [Chihiro] in a sailor uniform, looking like they were in their rebellious phase (?)! It's so cute! I'd really like to know how the photo was taken and if there are any untold details about the Fujisaki family!

A: No matter what Fujisaki [Chihiro] is, their father can't help but take pictures because they are a cute kid, but Fujisaki [Chihiro] themself is embarrassed, and since those around them are becoming more and more rebellious, they are acting a little like a rebel, but later they will probably feel sorry for their father and be depressed.

/////

Q: I want to know what type Saihara-kun likes!!!

A: People with a strong sense of purpose, regardless of gender.

/////

Q: When Kodaka's account was hacked on April Fool's Day, Ouma referred to Gokuhara as a friend from his school days, but is there anyone else Ouma could call a friend other than Gokuhara?

A: "Once I talk to someone, we're friends. If I meet someone, we're friends. However, I don't mind putting my friends through bad situations."

/////

Q: What should I do to date Ouma-kun?

A: I think he would be amused and come up to you if you first implanted a brain into an animal, or mounted in a car, or a full-body prosthesis.

🥬 APRIL 2024:

Q: Sorry if this question has already been asked. Ouma-kun reminds me of someone who can fall in love with anyone who is fun to be with. Does Ouma-kun care about gender, or can he fall in love with anyone he finds interesting regardless of gender? Does he only fall in love with interesting people ・・・? ��‍♀️ Thank you, Mr. Kodaka.

A: It has nothing to do with gender or romantic feelings, it's just about whether it's fun or not.

/////

Q: What kind of girls does Gonta Gokuhara like?

A: A girl who likes bugs.

/////

Q: I have a little question, what kind of sweets Kazuichi likes besides sweet drinks? Gummies, marshmellows, chocolate or maybe something else? :3

A: I think he likes colorful candy.

/////

Q: Even though you have a serious personality, Amami-kun, you look like you're frivolous to everyone around you, so is there a reason why you wear so many accessories? Or do you simply like fashion?

A: "I just like fashion. I dress the way I like when I can, especially since I'm in an environment where I can't dress fashionably."

/////

Q: What does Ouma Kokichi think about being short?

A: "I'm lucky that it doesn't feel intimidating."

/////

Q: Were the execution machines in Danganronpa 1 made by Soda from Danganronpa 2?

A: You've got a good point, don't you?

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! Was Dr. Idabashi, who created the Ultimate Robot Keebo, also a student at Hope's Peak Academy?

A: I'll take that story!

/////

Q: who would you choose to solve a mystery and why? kirigiri, saihara or halara?

A: It would be great if the three of them performed together!

🌺 MAY 2024:

Q: What is Komaeda Nagito usually thinking about?

A: "Is there hope lost somewhere?"

/////

Q: What did Kamukura-kun think of Hinata-kun?

A: The most boring.

/////

Q: Which Danganronpa character do you think would like shark movies?

A: Soda.

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! Is the story about the school festival in the Danganronpa original drama CD written by Kodaka-san? There is a scene in the drama where Fujisaki wants to wear a cute apron, which was quite unexpected for Fujisaki in the main story, so it was a shock. Was there a possibility that Fujisaki would embrace cute things in the main story as well?

A: I think I only wrote the very first one. The one that has a white and black disc. If I remember correctly.

/////

Q: I’m curious, What kind of person does Kokichi like?

A: rich person

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! I think that in the articles(?) released during the development stage there were many scenes that were not in the main story. Were these scenes faked to hide the contents of the main story, or were they actually there during production? I'm curious if there were any scenes where Fujisaki-kun was suspected in court!

[This person included this image:]

A: This is an image made up for a proposal. It was made before the story even existed.

☀️ JUNE 2024:

Q: How many characters in Danganronpa will listen to Komaeda's long speeches until the end?

A: None.

/////

Q: I'd like to know something about Komaeda Nagito's childhood, even if it's something trivial!!

A: "I wore diapers."

/////

Q: I'm curious how Komaeda-kun would express his feelings if he fell in love with someone.

A: He'd put you in a very unhappy situation in order to make you feel the hope of happiness.

/////

Q: Hello, Kodaka! It's an honor to ask you a question... so how can we interpret Nagito's ambiguous relations with certain characters in the series? Just saying.

A: Please interpret it as you wish.

/////

Q: Were Shinguji-kun's parents aware of his relationship with his sister? If so, what did they think about it?

A: I'll keep my mouth shut because if I mention it, I'll get in a horrible lot of trouble.

NOTE: Kodaka's talking as himself here, pretending like if he says anything he'll get hurt in some way. Don't take this as solid fact, but I think the implication here is less an IRL one (Spikechun would be mad) and more an in-universe one (Kork and Korkette would do something to you). But, again: that is me and my manager's theory.

/////

Q: Would Togami also use polite language when speaking to someone higher up in the organization?

A: He does not use honorifics. Byakuya is Byakuya.

/////

Q: Why did Kamukura's hair grow so long and his eyes change color?

A: Abnormal development.

/////

Q: Who is the most possible female character that would or might have a romantic relationship with Komaeda during Danganronpa 2? (Only characters in Danganronpa 2)

A: female character?

NOTE: The infamous post. It's reaaaaaaal.

/////

Q: Excuse me for asking! Keebo is a school uniform wearing robot, but what about summer uniforms? Are there times when he no longer wears a school uniform?

A: [His summer uniform is a] cooling fan installed on the side.

/////

Q: If Hinata-kun were to be punished, what do you think it would be like? I think he would die a boring death quickly.

A: Incidentally, I once came up with the idea of punishing him by freezing both his hands and feet with liquid nitrogen, and then shocking him to death as he watching them get crushed by a hammer… but of course I rejected the idea.

/////

Q: Togami-kun may be the most handsome among 1, 2, and V3, but who are the other students who can be called handsome? I think Ishimaru-kun might actually fall into the handsome guy category!

A: Keebo in terms of being well-groomed and having no skin problems.

/////

Q: Since Nagito Komaeda often says that despair is a stepping stone to hope, I don't have an image of Nagito Komaeda being troubled. However, I would like to hear what kind of worries he has if any!

A: If she were to become an adult, it would be Peko. The one who surpasses her is Tsumiki.

NOTE: As in, he'd worry about Peko or Mikan. Now, whether Kodaka means Geeto would worry about them as people or over the fact that they'll kick his ass, that's less clear. But they're on his mind.

🎇 JULY 2024:

Q: A question from a Teruteru fan (keeping with the topic of it being hot outside): Who do you think is the character with the most romantic potential for Hanamura?

A: Hanamura.

/////

Q: Hello sensei, I have a question. I'm seeing a controversy going on right now with overseas fans being attacked by people who are associating Komaeda with female characters using this post. Is Komaeda really gay? Or is this just a joke post? It's said to be official information, but is it true?

A: It's so hopeless. The more hopeless it is, the brighter hope shines.

NOTE: This was about the infamous Female Character? post.

/////

Q: How do you view women and men, Komaeda? Does he have different opinions about them or is he simply indifferent to both genders?

A: Ask Komaeda himself.

NOTE: I probably won't be archiving many more of the Komaeda sexuality posts unless they're particularly funny or insightful, because a lot of them are repetitive. Sorry. Kodaka's not budging, y'all.

/////

Q: Can Komaeda drive?

A: With his luck.

/////

Q: If there was a cut-in where Togami would rebuttal, what do you think he would say?

A: "Bow down, you fools!"

/////

Q: If Nagito were to play videogames, which game and/or genre is his favorite?

A: Gorilla Tag

NOTE: Like the Steam VR game...? Maybe? Unless this is referring to something I can't parse out. Kind of hilarious to imagine Nagito as a return to monke guy, though.

/////

Q: What's Momota's favorite planet?

A: The first one he'll discover.

/////

Q: Since Matsuda Yasuke worked on the Kamukura project, did he perform the operation?

A: More or less, you know what I mean?

NOTE: Disclaimer on this one, as we're not 100% sure what he's trying to say or if he's just being silly as usual. We think he's casually implying that Matsuda outlined the experiment but didn't actually perform it, so he kind of did "do" the operation in a symbolic/spiritual sense. Especially since we believe it's canon Matsuda did not wield the scalpel so to speak? If we recall correctly? Regardless, if anyone can shed light on this, we'd be appreciative. Completely unrelated: his use of "わかるっしょ" wakarussho made my manager laugh, as she says that's something no middle aged man would say. It's more of a teenaged girl/gyaru kind of thing, but Kodaka often talks like this apparently. Channeling Junko...

/////

Q: If Saihara-kun were to be executed, what do you imagine it would be?

A: He wakes up in a hospital after the ending of Danganronpa V3 and it was all just a dream with him in a vegetative state.

/////

Q: What would it be like if Ouma-kun was punished?

A: It's live action. And the actors are amateurs who just monotone "It's a lie!"

#danganronpa #kazutaka kodaka #kodaka's bsky Q&As

79 notes · View notes

implalazz · 6 months

Text

Waaaaaaaaa I’m back with more yokai fusions & also a comically small Buchikoma

L-R: Blazitina, RoboGrapenyan, Damonono, Buchikoma, Komajisan, Pandatina

Again more design thoughts under tha cut ✌️

My fingers always feel sore after typing this much….. Lots of learning about the details of traditional clothes this time. I chose these pairings cuz I felt lazy & wanted to draw the simpler ones first lol

Blazitina: Lion girl 👍 First thing I can think of in my thought process was making the belt an obi sash. Tattered at the ends to batch Blazion’s & with an obijime for fun. I didn’t super feel like giving her the same kind of Miku-esque kimono sleeves that I gave Lord Lie-In so I just made them weird kinda arm warmers. Did the same for her pants too, I’m not sure what they’re called but they’re inspired by the leg warmer kinda things in PLA on the fancy kimono. Also gave her a juban cuz idk I made her gi dip too far under her arms & yknow she’s a little lady she’s gotta stay covered up. I know all of this traditional kimono gear isn’t conductive to good karate but whatever…… She doesn’t get boots cuz I like drawing paws & her ahoge mimic Blazion’s scar (I didn’t have enough room to fit it in). I was thinking of giving her an x shaped hair clip but I thought it’d be too busy on her head. Overall despite some things I’d change (the way I shaped the obi I know realize the shape is TOO stylistic) I think this is my favourite design of the bunch

RoboGrapenyan: Very much inspired by the pkmn Violet paradox mons* (*See the bells & eyes.) Not much to say it’s a pretty straightforward fusion. The tail onibi are lightbulbs because it feels more robotic & I thought it’d be cool. The jet exhaust is grape soda……. That was a choice. LOOK I’LL EXPLAIN, uh….. grape….. grape exhaust? Grape vapor? Grape soda????? Sure. Also I think in the back of my mind I was thinking of that soda gun from that one episode of SpongeBob. Naughty Nautical Neighbors. I had to google it I had to know what episode it was….. yeah.

Damonono: YAAAAYYYYY FIRST TIME DRAWING HAKAMA THEY’RE WEIRD BUT I’LL GET BETTER AT IT!! They’re supposed to be split leg hakama but in every reference I looked up they’re so wide that they just look like the skirt kind rather than having two leg holes. I gave them hakama cuz bootleg jeans would be weird with a kimono. And I like hakama. That’s it. The sleeves….. Let’s talk about those. I didn’t wanna give them the heart guns/cannons cuz idk…. I liked the way Damona’s hands were posed & I wanted to keep that. So instead they have weird fucked up heart shaped kimono sleeves. I wanted to keep Damona’s long obi too but I thought it might mess with the silhouette already having the sleeves & also that’s just not a thing you do with hakama. So….. her sleeves are kind of like the end of her obi…….. I’m only now realizing she could’ve had them tied up normally & they could still hang that low….. whatever. In my mind they go under the obi, get tied up so they can put on the hakama, & then untie them & let them hang over the hakama. Look I don’t think of fashion in terms of is this normal? Is this practical? If it looks good I do it. Not much else to say. I had to look up a tutorial on how to put on hakama cuz I wanted them to be as accurate as possible……. And now I know how to put them on so that’s cool I guess. I LOVE LEARNING!!!!!!!!

Buchikoma: Again pretty simple. I gave him a little tuft of hair to emulate Buchinyan’s wispy hair tuft. I forgot to draw the spot of the side of the right thigh, lol. His eye spot is shaped like an onibi cuz it’s cute 👍. His haramaki has the patterning of Jibakoma’s tummy spot cuz I can’t not give him the haramaki that’d be a crime. His ears are farther apart & smaller like Jibakoma’s, & his tail onibi are shaped like that cuz idk I tried to imagine what Jibakoma’s tail looked like & I thought of that. Overall another one of my favourite yokai fusions I’ve done. That’s my son

Komajisan: SPLIT EARS!!!!! Inspired by a fandom design of a certain character from a certain comic I won’t name….. IYKYK. Split ears cuz 2. Also extra swirly bits on the swirls cuz 2. I was thinking of adding blue spots to his bindle but I didn’t like how it looked so I didn’t do it. Fun paw spots cuz it’s cute. Forehead onibi are kinda angry lookin cuz idk….. I just felt it. Also mini onibi in between the forehead ones cuz 2. Some makeup accenting cuz……. IT’S CUTE!!!!!!!! I was also thinking of making the onibi half brown & half blue but it looked bad so yeah, I didn’t do it.

Pandatina: Probably my favourite in terms of lineart. I actually got noticeably better at drawing kimono particularly the sleeves. I’m proud :]. I honestly didn’t feel like giving her a haori/cape/whatever so I didn’t (also I just forgot to lol.) So she has a good sewn into the collar of her kimono. Clover shaped obijime like Slimatina cuz it looks cool & I like it, also I needed more clover shapes lol. She’s got one in her hair because of that too, I was thinking of making it blue but I thought nahh. She’s intentionally very pale cuz I wanted her skin tone to really match the snake part of her body. And she has eyeshadow on to emulate the spots around Pandanoko’s eyes, same with her pupils. Again just a simple fusion

#🔩.my art #yokai watch #yokai oc #fusion #Frostina #blazion #robonyan #grapenyan #casanono #damona #pandanoko #komasan #komajiro #buchinyan #jibakoma

112 notes · View notes

fatkish · 5 months

Text

Funny (Y/n) x MHA pt. 2

(Y/n): Do you want this handful of moss?

Tomura: Why would I want a handful of fucking moss?

(y/n): Damn, you could’ve just said no.

——————————————————————————

Nedzu: I made tea.

(y/n): I don't want tea

Nedzu: I didn't make you tea. This is my tea.

(y/n): Then why did you tell me?

Nedzu: It's a conversation starter.

(y/n): It's a horrible conversation starter.

Nedzu: Oh, is it? We're conversing. Checkmate.

——————————————————————————

Bakugou: What is the one thing I told you not to do?

(y/n): Burn the house down.

Bakugou: And what did you do?

(y/n): I made dinner.

Bakugou:

(y/n):

Bakugou:

(Y/n): And burnt the house down.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?

Kaminari: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes.

——————————————————————————

Spinner: Hey guys, what do you think about making that beach trip an annual thing?

Dabi, Twice and (y/n): No!

Tomura: Alright, that’s it, you guys. What happened out there?

(y/n): What? We took a walk. Nothing happened. I came back with nothing all over me.

Toga: What does that mean?

Mr. Compress: Come on, what happened? Twice

Twice: Alright.

(y/n): No. Twice, we swore we’d never tell!

Dabi: They’ll never understand.

Twice: But we have to say something. We have to get it out. It’s eating me alive.

Twice: (y/n) got stung by a jellyfish!

(y/n): Alright! I got stung. Stung bad. I couldn’t stand. I- I couldn’t walk.

Dabi: We were two miles from the house. We were scared and alone. We didn’t think we could make it.

(y/n): I was in too much pain.

Twice: And I was tired from digging a huge hole.

Dabi: And then Twice remembered something.

Twice: I’d seen this thing in the Discovery Channel.

Spinner: Wait a minute, I saw that. On the Discovery Channel. Yeah, about jellyfish and how if you— EW! You peed on yourself?

Tomura, Mr. Compress and Toga: EW!!

(y/n): You can’t say that! You don’t know! I thought I was gonna pass out from the pain. Anyway, I tried, but I couldn’t... bend that way. So... *looks at Twice*

Tomura, Mr. Compress, Spinner and Toga: Ew!

Twice: That’s right. I stepped up. They’re my friend and they needed help. If I had to, I’d pee on any one of you.

Twice: Only, uh, I couldn’t. I got stage fright. I wanted to help but there was too much pressure. So, I, um, I turned to Dabi

Dabi: Twice kept screaming at me, “Do it now. Do it. Do it now.” Sometimes, late at night I can still hear the screaming.

Twice: That’s because sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.

——————————————————————————

Twice, after getting a job as a life guard: Hmm... I wonder what those things at the bottom of the pool are..  (y/n): THOSE ARE PEOPLE DROWNING!

——————————————————————————

Kaminari: Is the pink panther a lion?

Kirishima: Say that again but slower.

Kaminari: I don’t get it.

(y/n): He’s a PANTHER.

Kaminari: Is that a type of lion?

Bakugou: No, it’s a fucking panther.

Kaminari: *googles panther* They aren’t pink?

(Y/n): AND LIONS ARE?!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n) : Midoriya and I are no longer friends.

Midoriya: (Y/N) THAT IS THE WORST WAY TO TELL PEOPLE THAT WE’RE DATING!

——————————————————————————

Midoriya: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

(Y/n) : Killed without hesitation.

Midoriya: No! (Y/n)!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n) , with their hands cupped over each other: I found a cool spider!

All Might: Oh? Lemme see!

(Y/n) , opening their hands to see nothing there: …hm.

Midoriya: …where’s the spider.

(Y/n) : *looks troubled and stares at their hands*

All Might: Oh no.

Midoriya: (Y/N) , WHERE’S THE SPIDER?!

——————————————————————————

(Y/n) : Did Midoriya just tell me they loved me for the first time?

Shoto: Yeah, they did.

(Y/n) : And did I just do finger guns back?

Shoto: Yeah, you did.

——————————————————————————

Shoto: *about (Y/n) and Bakugou* They make a cute couple, huh?

Midoriya: They certainly are standing next to each other.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n) : Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Shoto: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

(Y/n) : Stop.

——————————————————————————

(Y/n): here’s a lesson folks, don’t lick mystery liquids from the refrigerator

Class 1A: what

(Y/n):

Aizawa: what did you do this time?

(Y/n): I took a bag of leftover pizza out of the fridge and the bag was wet, so I licked the bag to find out what the mystery liquid was

Aizawa: why would you do that?

(Y/n): I just told you

Iida: I highly believe that that course of action is very bad

Midoriya: what was it?

(Y/n): *makes sad face* it was liquid from moldy, rotting celery

Aizawa: *shakes head*

Bakugou: you are a dumbass

——————————————————————————

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #mha incorrect quotes #bnha incorrect quotes #mha x y/n #bnha x y/n

108 notes · View notes

noeou · 2 years

Text

THE ART OF AVOIDANCE.

the only way to get rid of a crush is by avoiding them, at least in your mind.

includes: vil schoenheit, idia shroud, and riddle rosehearts. ( x gn!reader. )

next parts: curently unavailable.

contains: fluff! platonic to romantic. open ended for idia and vil. ooc 'cause i said so.

sincerely noe ,⠀this takes up 8 pages in google docs 0.6k words minimum (each), lhm. i'm gonna go eat now. also a quick thank you to the person that answered this, you helped me pick the other two characters <3

vil schoenheit [ pomefiore ]

the main reason you and vil got along was because you could take criticism. that and the fact that you didn't take his long and (oddly) specific 'observations' to heart, but after a while it got hard to put up with.

no, your skin didn't get weaker. it was just the fact that the person you loved (debatable) and adored (also debatable) was constantly telling you your mishaps and it's impossible for it to not get to your head.

it felt that you couldn't tell anyone about your feelings 'cause you knew you'd get met with judgement on you 'type' and get told 'but you're yn, you can take it!' if you say you can no longer take his criticisms.

"Ace, hand me the glue gun please."

But you'd always have the duo and Grim. So that's where your time went instead of chasing the around house warden that probably didn't notice your absence.

"On it!" The red head turned from his project to hand you the glue gun.

"Are you guys almost done?" Deuce asked, pausing on his as well.

Grim jumped up excitedly, "Yeppers! Look at our super cool one!"

You chuckled as your companion showed off a mini doll version of him you both knitted.

"Mine's cooler!" Ace joined, except with his doll.

Their banter was interrupted with a knock on the door. Ace visibly paled, becoming nervous as he went to get the door.

"Warden Riddle, I swear it wasn't me!" You facepalmed at the sight of your friend. He didn't even look at who was at the door before he spewed apologies.

"I'm not Riddle..."

Apparently, you didn't check either. It was your turn to panic at the sight of the very person you tried (not that is was hard) to avoid.

vil didn't mean to criticize you to the point of scaring you away. all the little details he'd point out were things, most of the time, he admired about you. it was just impossible to say. people in his life would take the smallest compliment from him and twist it to fit their fantasy of him being in love with them or something to that affect.

he knew that repeating all those observations may affect how he thought of you so he did keep a journal, expressing the little things he felt too suffocated to say.

when epel suggested he may have scared you away, he was afraid the first year was right. that's why he went to go find you, not sending rook or epel but going himself. and his worse fears may have been confirmed.

Vil had no intention of forcing you to interact with him, he just intended to give you said journal and leaving. He wanted to leave the future of your relationship to you and he'd keep his distance until the decision was made.

He was willing to share thoughts and feelings he kept between him and the pages with you, a small hope that was put out by the sound of your laughing with the Heartslabyul two.

It took a minute, a foreign hesitance, before he knocked on the door.

The sudden silence made him even more anxious. Until it was filled with apologies addressed to the Crimson Tyrant, then he was simply confused.

He scanned the room for you, meeting not your eyes but a hand covering your face. Did you know it was him? Was he making a mistake?

You looked more comfortable as well. Your uniform was messed up, your hair was down. It was as if he was looking at a much younger version of you, a look of youth that he purposely had you hide.

"I'm not Riddle..." he managed, not looking away from you.

The mixed emotions on your face didn't go unnoticed, but he had no time to try and interpret them.

"Vil." Ace bowed again, not as deeply as he was a moment prior. The blue haired one stood as well, fists clenched and tied with a look of irritation.

"I mean no harm—"

"As if!" Vil nearly screamed why your cat-like companion jumped up onto Ace's head. "All you've done is harm! It's better for all of us if you leave now."

"Grim!" You pulled him off the redhead and pulled the other away. "We should talk."

The expression of surprise on the house warden's face was mirrored by your friends, only without his relief tied in as well.

"I would like that— if only if you're comfortable."

You led him out of the twisted Heartslabyul halls. Neither of you able to look at the other as you walked.

It was strange. Suddenly the roles were reversed and Vil was the one following you. He didn't mind it completely, but the anxiety of your next move was too great for him to think clearly.

Eventually, he was forced to speak.

"I've only come to deliver this to you," he handed you a hardcover book, magic sealing it.

The moment it made contact with your skin as you took it, the magic seemingly became void and you could open it. For a moment, a childlike curiosity took over as you examined it.

"But..."

You looked up, returning to reality.

You had no idea how to react as you watched Vil's mask so tightly sewn on break before you. The emotion made him unrecognizable, in a good way. For the first time in you knowing him, the Fairest of them all became personable.

Was it really possible for a perfect person to become more perfect?

"I've decided that waiting is something I don't want to do. I feel stupid for trying to tell you in any other way than face to face… but infatuation is something I rarely encounter, and I want you to know— I want you to know I like you. Like in that way.”

idia shroud [ ignihyde ]

you tried your hardest to be patient, knowing idia’s rocky relationship with human interaction. you made sure he was taking car of himself and had neat surroundings and as he got more and more comfortable with you, he’d help you out and join ortho and you when you’d visit.

getting to know him was not, at all, an easy feat. but it was fair to say it was worth it. you ended up falling for him, no? the hard thing about that is, you fell for a side of him he kept well hidden.

you knew pulling back and away would permanently damage your relationship to a point of no return, however staying knowing the potential would break you.

“Do what you think is right, Y/n.”

You and Ortho were collecting scraps to bring back to the dorm when you broke the news to him.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to hurt Idia—”

“As much as I care for my brother, I also care about you. If he truly is putting you through this, especially if he doesn’t know he is… I think you’d Gould put yourself first.”

It was times like this Ortho’s childlike form truly didn’t fit his maturity. You smiled at his words, nodding as your confidence grew in your decision.

“Thank you, I hope our friendship—”

Ortho used his shoes to propel him higher in the sky, high enough to pat your head. He grinned as he said, “Nothing will change between us, you’re like an older sibling to me!”

From that day forward, you continued things as they were only when Idia wasn’t around. Ortho was a big help in this, not forcing you to talk to his brother if you didn’t want, but not even he was able to predict the older’s every move.

idia knew something was up when your time on animal crossing increased as the amount he saw you decreased. you were never one to be interested in games as much as he, but he made you an account anyway and you played together sometimes.

he had a full proof plan, he'd log onto his computer like a facetime and confront you when you came to visit while he was out. however, you looked calmer, ignoring the evidence of lack of sleep in your eyes.

he decided to keep his mouth shut, watching you for a moment longer before hanging up.

Idia is not stupid, he was aware that the more time that passed would only mess up your relationship further. He needed to act quickly.

Locking himself in his room for a few days, he thought up a full proof plan to win you back but as more than friends. Double or nothing, as they say.

Staring at his hightech whiteboard, empty for hours at this point, nothing was happening. He frowned to himself, retreating to his gaming chair with an exasperated sigh escaping him.

He did as you'd do in a situation like this and logged on to animal crossing. If his assumptions were correct you wouldn't be able to log back on for a few hours now, logging onto your account he started working.

Back when you were still talking to him, you mentioned you wanted to build something that resembled the hade's underworld. You said it reminded you of something called 'Hadestown' and you showed his a few pictures so he had the idea.

So far it looked really good, he just planned on helping get you the necessary tools you need. Maybe it was the tiredness getting to him, but he made a pin, telling you it was him as well as all the things he also wanted to say.

Logging off, he went to take a nap without a second thought.

riddle rosehearts [ heartslabyul ]

the main reason you chose to distance yourself from riddle was actually because you thought he'd hate it if he found out you had feeling for him in that way. you were hoping, since it's exam week, that he'd be too busy preparing to notice you were gone and after this week your feeling will be gone and things could go back to normal.

it felt weird though, studying without him. normally study sessions would be productive, but with you carrying the team with the last two braincells… productive isn't the word i'd use.

considering how riddle is the housewarden of your bestfriends, you had to take them in when your plan started. while you trusted them to keep your secret, ace would most likely slip up in one way or another during a scolding.

It wasn't as bad as you thought having the two over, it was like a long sleepover. They had made makeshift beds on the floor out of fear of your (mostly) see through roommates.

Most of your time was spent attempting to study before the four of you inevitably gave up and headed to Sam's for ice cream to sulk about how you'd definitely fail. It was a cycle with seemingly no end.

"We can do this!" You pumped a fist in the air, the others beginning to match your energy.

Grim put on a look of determination, much like the other two. "We'll mop the floor with this!"

"Indeed we will."

And just like all your other attempts that week, you only ended up 'moping the floor' with your tears.

You werent sure how you got in this position, but you stared at Deuce's paper through glossy eyes at an attempt to understand the explanations he tried to provide. It was dark outside, cool in your room. A blanket was laid over the both of your laps and over Ace's face as he gave up long ago and took a nap on the Deuce's leg. Grim did the same, but rested on your head.

"I want Riddle back," You mumbled, the last of your frustration transferring into sadness. You wiped the threatening tears with the back of your hand.

Deuce let out a sigh, trying to think of what to say. "Maybe we can get someone else's help?"

"Like who?" You sat up, pulling your companion down from his resting place above you.

"Az–"

"Don't mess with me, Deuce. We both know how that'll end."

"Or you could ask me as you usually do."

in the beginning, riddle thought that you, ace and deuce were up to something when you went missing at the same time. there wasn't much he could do about it with his schedule. don't be mistaken he didn't forget about you.

normally around this time he'd be pulling all nighters with you, feeling frustrated at your slowness, but still trying his best to stay calm. he missed that, not the lack of sleep, but having an excuse to be with you without having to initiate it. it was a mutually understood (?) thing.

no, he didn't ask questions until those days turned into the majority of the week. during a sudy session with trey and cater, they pointed out how he should at least message you, because even they were getting worried. he sent you a quick message that turned into two, then three, and four.

Riddle isn't one to appreciate interruptions, especially when studying so it was surprising how irritated at a lack thereof.

"Where are you going?" Cater watched him, curiously.

In one moment, Riddle was sitting working somewhat peacefully and the next he was fuming out the door. He thought of the worst case scenarios, you were never one to ignore messages; he also couldn't get ahold of his freshmen (though that was that out of the ordinary.)

A shiver was sent down his spine upon entering the cool place. It was also possible it was because he walked in on three ghosts playing cards.

"Are you looking for your lovely?" the smallest one asked.

"Y/n! Your boyfri–"

"Refrain from that." Riddle addressed the biggest one. He patted his uniform, calming himself. "They're upstairs?"

"Who's asking?" The slim one dragged.

The smallest floated up to whack the other's nonexistent head, "Y/n's husband, obviously!"

"Wait they got married?"

"No!" Riddle headed for the stairs, deciding not to waste a moment more on them.

In their laughter, one managed to warn, "Knock! The youngins' are hard at work up there."

Riddle wanted to make sure you three were at least alive and not wanted criminals, the first confirmed at the sound of your voices. He wanted to scold each of you for scaring him, but the mention of his name made him stop and listen.

"I want Riddle back," You sounded weak, and low on energy. It wasn't something he wasn't used to, but knowing he wasn't there to help in the ways he was able.

Deuce let out a sigh, "Maybe we can get someone else's help?"

No, why weren't you going to him?

"Like who?" He heard shuffling in the room, pressing his ear to the wooden door to hear better.

"Az–"

"Don't mess with me, Deuce. We both know how that'll end."

Unable to listen to you foolishness for a moment longer, he made his grand entrance. He wasn't sure if he was angry or sad, but looking at your tear stained face made him concerned.

"Or you could ask me as you usually do." He managed, taking in your conditions.

"Housewarden!" Deuce tried to shake his redheaded counterpart awake but stopped at Riddle's command.

"Do not bother, I'm here for Y/n. You get some rest, as well, we can review tomorrow. I'll return them safely." Riddle looked to you, who didn't return his gaze.

He let out a sigh of relief as you got up and collected yourself– "wait for me downstairs."

That he did, awkwardly being examined by the three transparent elders.

"Win 'em back, alrightie?"

"Yeah! It's been a snotfest without ya', a pain really."

"Mhm, they're not all that bright."

In sync they laughed, in sync they stopped. Looking at him again, they disappeared into puffs of smoke and reappeared the same way around him.

"Break their heart again and I'll request that you join us in a game of cards."

"And we've been playing for a while…"

"I wasn't planning on it!" Riddle face felt much warmer at the thought of doing so.

"Guys, leave him alone." You groaned, groggily.

He led you outside and you found a seat on a cut down tree's trunk. Patting the space next to you, he joined you.

"Why are you here?"

"Why are you not talking to me?"

More awkwardness ensued when you both said that at the same time. He looked at you, again not meeting his eyes.

"'Cause you'll hate me. Banish me even," The lack of sleep was talking.

"Banish you from where?" He asked, confused.

"Heartslabyul… and here," – you pointed at the spot on his chest his heart would be– "Because I think you're adorable and smart and amusing and so many other things. And because I like you, but I don't think you'd like that, would you?"

His expression changed to one of more surprise, his lips tugging upward only for the keenest of eyes to notice. Looking down at the landscape before him, with another relieved breath, "And what if I would?"

1K notes · View notes

junhanner · 2 months

Note

Since you asked for requests, I could go for an XH fluff scenario where they realize they have a crush on you☺️ Like, is it something you say or do, or something else what makes them realize it? Thanks in advance 🫶🏻

ask and you shall recieve!!! ଘ(੭´꒳`) my fingers were CROSSED for a xdinary heroes ask omg the prayers worked🤞🤞🤞i had to sit my ass down and WRITE . i love the scenario sm omg😞😞😞

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

౨౿ xdinary heroes realising that they have a crush ༘. on you ౨౿

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ gun-il ໒꒱ : he would be so chill about it omg😭😭 when he realized he had a crush on you, he most probably thought “oh it's not going to transform into a bigger crush” like sorry to break it to you gunil it kinda did. And when he would realize it did turn out into a bigger crush this man would be speechless😭. I think he would be the type of person who would try to impress you . From drum covers of your favourite songs to maybe even teaching you the basics of playing drums!! Around the members he would surely say something like “confidence is key” but around you, he would def stumble on his words or embarrass himself omg😭😭😭 when it's about confessing, I think he will 100% either will write a paragraph on his notes app and message it to u or either literally learn it word by word and recite it to you like a poem

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ jungsu ໒꒱ : When he first found out he would be like “oh ok” but as time flies he would realize that he has became down BAD for you😭😭 .. i think he wouldn't really try to impress you as much as the other members.. he would be more of a gift giving / quality time person ^_^ when confessing i am telling u he would most prob SERENADE you😭 would definately sing you a love song or maybe even one he composed for you ….

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ o.de ໒꒱ : CERTIFIED GIFT GIVER. when he realized he has a crush on you, he would def give it a lot of thought before actually confirming he does in fact have a crush on you idk if it makes sense😭 but when he has the chance, he is surely the type that would take you out on movie nights to have fun claiming “this is not a date this is 100% a family friendly hangout between good friends and there's nothing behind it” (he would still call it a date) and when it's about confessing this man is so romantic .. he would literally give his whole salary including his money for food for the perfect confession because if he pulls you who the flip needs food anyway

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ junhan ໒꒱ : shyest boy EVER. when he realizes he has a crush on you he avoids you as much as possible so he won't do anything embarassing in front of you he would be too shy to even look you in the eyes . i think he would be a acts of service or quality time person. like, whenever he would go tk the store he would surely say a quiet “hi im going to the store do you want anything” or when its about quality time i think he would enjoy the most playing videogames with you .his biggest weakness ever would be talking to you😭 he could barely even push out a word out of his mouth when he’s around you so i think confessing would be such a problem to him.. i think one day the members got fed up with this and just messaged you themselves “hey vro junhan likes you” or something they would be so unserious its actually killing me bye💔

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ gaon ໒꒱ : HE WOULD BE SO UNSERIOUS HELP. The second he would realize he likes you, he would 100% google up “cool pickup lines that work and make your crush fall in love with you no clickbait real confirmed “ when he would be around you, he would surely do INSANE things to try to impress you.. mf would pull the fire alarm at the jyp building risking his job just to impress you😭😭🙏 i think when it's about confessing this would be the only scenario where he would actually be serious and not crack a joke after saying i like you this man would crack a joke even at a funeral to try making the people there feel better. (spoiler alert it did not help them)

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

✧ ꒰ঌ jooyeon ໒꒱ : who is the person in xdinary heroes who would literally make himself look stupid just for you to laugh, and why is it jooyeon. when he would first realize he has a crush on you he would say something to himself along the lines of “u can do this bro” to try talking to you . when i tell u he could actually end up in the hospital but his ass wouldn't give a flying flip as long as he made you laugh or giggle for atleast a second. the type of person who would also search up stuff on google but this time confessions.. he would invite you at literally MCDONALD'S dressed up in a suit and saying the most poetric shit you have ever heard .

𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎡𓎢𓎟𓎟𓎟𓎟

a/n : i’m sorry if there are any grammar mistakes english is not my first language😞

69 notes · View notes

bedoballoons · 11 months

Note

Hi I'm the Anon who asked for Newt briefcase hcs I just wanted to say thank you for doing that probably confusing request lmao

How about Anemo boys + aether and neuvillet with gn darling who has SCP 999 as a pet

It wasn't that confusing don't worry!! Im just glad you enjoyed it and I hope you like this one too! Sorry it took so long...but thank you for your request! <3

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂

{༻~SCP 999~༺}

CW: Mostly fluffy, descriptions of living blobs! GN! Reader! Cursing!

Also in case you don't know what it is, SCP 999 is a friendly orange blob type of SCP and one quick google search of it will show you just how adorable it is!

(Includes: Xiao, Wanderer, Kazuha, Heizou, Venti, Aether, and Neuvillette!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Xiao:

Xiao sighed, trying desperately not to giggle or give in to your blobs attempts to make him laugh...no matter how much it tried to tickle him and use it's aroma to drug him with happiness he wouldn't let it work. "Where did you find this... thing again?"

"Just wandering around outside this guarded place...come on Xiao you know you want to smile! Give into the laughter!!"

"Absolutely not....wait what? A guarded place? Are you sure they weren't being kept in there? What if they are dangerous?"

"Xiao, they have been cuddling you for ten minutes...pretty sure it isn't dangerous. I think they like you!"

𑁍༄Wanderer:

"What the fuck is that..." Wanderer stared at the blobby orange pile of goop next to you, his face twisted into a almost disgusted look as it watched him with large round eyes and a cute smile, you could tell the little one just wanted to be friends with him...but convincing him to agree would be difficult.

"They are my friend, I found them outside of a security building...lost and sad, all alone. I had to help them! Come on, you know they are cute!" You patted the blobs head, making it jiggle while it's smile grew, truthfully the cutest little thing you'd ever seen.

"Did you just say you found it...near a SECURITY BUILDING???"

𑁍༄Kazuha:

"Do you think they feel emotions? Such as agony, happiness...loneliness? Do you think they have family?" Kazuha threw a stick a couple feet away, watching with a distant look in his eyes as the blob hurried after it like a puppy playing fetch. In truth you'd wondered the same thing for awhile now...did your little friend have a family? Had you taken them away from it...or had you saved them from something that had made their family non existent?

"I know they can feel emotions. Right now they are clearly happy and when I first found them they seemed sad, but for all I know I read it wrong...what if I took them away from their home?"

"I think the more accurate wording...is you gave them a home. You tend to do that...for more than just new creatures."

𑁍༄Heizou:

"From a secure building you say? Perhaps we should investigate it further? There could be more entities like your friend..." Heizou stared at the orange blob, truthfully less concerned with finding more of them and far more concerned with finding out if their occurrence was due to illegal experiments. It could be a big bust if his intuition was correct...and it almost always was.

"Yeah but Heizou it was incredibly guarded, like people with guns..."

"Guns hmm? I'll call in back up then, I have a feeling what you saw was more than just a secure base."

𑁍༄Venti:

"Oh wow...that's a interesting creature...um what is it?" Ventis words showed his confusion, in all his years of living he'd never really seen anything like your little friend, sure slimes could bare resemblance but...something was off about this particular blob. Something in its eyes...like it had seen unbearable things..

"I'm not really sure what they are, I found them by accident while I was adventuring. They were wandering around the forest and looked hungry, so I gave them a bunch of fruits. You should see it Venti! They just dissolve!" You reached into your bag, digging around for a apple you knew you had in there.

"It...dissolves things???"

𑁍༄Aether:

"Awwe they are kinda cute..." Aether said, smiling sweetly as he kneeled in front of the orange glob, "Hi there little buddy, you want some food?"

You felt your heart swell at the sight...everyone else had said you'd made the wrong choice saving the little blob, but Aether was different...he saw them the same as any other creature, something who deserved to be treated with kindness. "Aren't they adorable? I've never seen anything like it before so I was a little scared they might be harmful, but I don't think they'd hurt a fly."

"I don't see them hurting anyone either, here you go little buddy." Aether tossed a sunsettia into the air, chuckling sweetly as the blob caught it and dissolved it with a happy smile.

𑁍༄Neuvillette:

"Ahem,...you say it has special properties?" Neuvillette looked down at the orange blob, wondering how such a being could exist...if it really was a natural occurrence and if it's friendly nature was only mere show and deep down it held a much more nefarious purpose.

"Yep!! If you hug them, they release these yummy scents and it makes you feel happy! They can also tickle you and they loovvee to play fetch!"

"You say it produces different scents? Does that mean it could possibly release toxins as well?"

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

219 notes · View notes

wellcomeoneileen · 6 days

Note

Why does Randy Harrison deserve compensation? What happened to him? You can DM me if it's not okay to be public

Hey! No it’s totally okay.

⚠️disclaimer - I am a NEW fan and so I am NOT the most informed at all. Other people like @brian-kinney-apologist like really know shit. I initially found things bc watching S4 made me go oh there is bts shit going on for sure and googled, and then when I got on tumblr I saw a bunch of posts talking about it, too.

Lots of older sources are harder to find now bc they didn’t do a digital preservation or the website is expired, but here is what I’ve found, from heated Advocate articles whilst the show aired and then from more measured reflections from podcasts around 2016.

Randy was young and it was his first TV show - when he started he didn’t even have an agent, and really didn’t know what he was getting into. He had done sex scenes on stage and thought that he was pretty prepared for what was to come.

However, he has stated he ended up feeling pretty objectified, such as hearing “we need more shots of Justin’s ass” regularly or expressing a desire to not to go-go dancing type scenes (King of Babylon upset him) and then even more go-go dancing being added (S2 Sap scenes). He was also told to act less gay by casting directors for the show, and to “try to be more butch because Justin isn’t out of the closet”

The show pre-dates intimacy coordinators and there have been allusions, including from the actresses Thea and Michelle, that the sex scenes could be uncomfortable to film.

There was BTS clashing, with producer Tony Jones !!reportedly!!! Saying that Randy was a bitch to work with and “showrunners” “reportedly” saying they would never work with Randy again. There are two interview clips, one from when the show was airing, and one from 2016, when CowLip say they wanted all actors to be comfortable on set, and in BOTH clips , like 15 years apart, Randy kinda like laugh/roll his eyes and Gale looks at him very bemusedly. They had bigger reactions in the ~2003 clip.

He was openly pretty angry as the show went on. He told the Advocate that he would never be friends with or respect Justin if real. He disapproved of the Britin relationship. He said he had to fight to include the scene of Justin topping Brian, which was very important to him. Leading into season 5 he stated he hoped Justin was killed off by getting hit by a truck (obviously being glib, but like he was mad lol)

He has said that lots of scenes needed to be reshot because he struggled to do them so much, like the Cody sexy gun scene that made him so uncomfortable, and then either he or Gale said S5 sex scenes were reshot a lot because they just couldn’t stop laughing at that point anymore.

Peter and Scott recently have said the only time anyone asked for actors’ opinions was right after season 1 ended, and to ME they sounded kinda cheeky about it, all these years later, so perhaps it was a cast sticking point? Unsure, and it wasn’t even Randy who said that. Fat grain of salt.

He has more recently reflected on this time period and expressed regret he went out the way he did, and he understands things better and honors his craft more (heavy paraphrasing!) bc he was mentally checked out by the end and wishes he had finished strong instead.

Also, the cast didn’t realize when signing on how isolated they would be from The Industry. Randy has spoken about this in an unrelated podcast, as have the actors who play Ted and Emmett. NYC or LA are where you want to be for networking, and then signing on to spend the majority of the year in Toronto negatively impacted their careers, they feel. Randy has said he had to start from scratch after the show ended, and Peter and Scott have said Showtime had no idea how to market the show nor their stars, and so they had to just watch as all the initial hype fizzled and nothing was done with them. They were contracted to work too much to seriously be involved elsewhere, while simultaneously not getting good exposure, which I IMAGINE created a dire sort of mood and morale on set. < personal interpretation and fictionalizing history.

Meaning, Randy probably at the very least FELT like he had spent five years on a show that didn’t respect him and it was largely for nothing. He has since stated he appreciates the opportunity and it is the reason he was finically secure, for which he is deeply grateful.

And then finally the fans! He had stalker(s?) and tons of creepy people and was heavily typecast and people would come up to him frequently, which made him uncomfy, and would furthermore act like he was actually Justin, which made him super uncomfy. He was kinda like Chappell Roan!! He was like hey I’m not Justin I’m a person and y’all are freaks. He has publicially declined to speak on the stalking issues, which given his vocal responses to other issues, indicates to ME that it’s pretty personal and upsetting (I mean it’s stalking it’s obviously horrible but you know what I mean). During the show he had a boyfriend that fans like tormented online and even on posters (that bit comes from Tumblr or another forum, so not like verified info on my part at all) because they shipped “Gandy” so hard. I know I’ve read on tumblr about the insane Gandy people but all I remember is they were intense and insane and negatively impacted Randy’s actual real life. Again, that’s info from fans that I haven’t read in article or heard from out of his mouth. Secondary source lol.

This point is PURE speculation, but early interviews with the whole cast were super excited, and they all talked about how excited they were for something ground breaking. By the end, people were angry or giving fluff responses, or in Peter’s case; calmly stating the show was a soap opera and that’s okay. I FEEL like everyone thought they were signing up for something more real/gritty/positive impact to society and then were like oh I’m here to look hot in this show that only moms watch to get them turned on to have sex with their husband. Cool.

Now, do I agree with that - no. But, the show audience was vastly different than expected, and the artistic direction might have been too, both of which might have really disappointed people. Esp Randy and maybe Gale. Randy was a capital T theatre person, and Gale was too and had lots of experimental work and like performance art. Randy has ALSO expressed displeasure with some theater work he did because he didn’t think it was fresh and the audience was only older wealthy white people, so we do know that this sort of thing does matter to his sense of fulfillment at work.

TLDR; had to shoot scenes he didn’t want to, several times, felt objectified on set, disagreed with his character’s direction, maybe felt like he wasn’t being listened to artistically, was cut off from other work opportunities, didn’t appear to get along with leadership, had bad fans, was young and in deep over his head, and at the very least *started* with no career or social support system.

Again!! Am not the most knowledgeable person !!! I do NOT want to spread misinformation so hopefully I’ve tagged where I’m reading into things vs actual quotes but also people who have actually been around pls feel free to say 🙋um actuallllyyyyy

#qaf #queer as folk #ask #randy harrison #this is everything in my head but literally if I’m wrong let me face my punishment

38 notes · View notes

eclecticqueennerd · 11 months

Text

Bad Idea Right?

youtube

*inspired by the song ‘Bad Idea Right?’ by Olivia Rodrigo.

*Language, smut, violence, breakup, alcohol consumption* Billy Butcher x reader

It’s been a few months since you left the boys. The direction Butcher was leading the group was a surefire plan to get you all killed and you wanted nothing to do with it. Convincing Butcher to take a moment to mull plans over instead of going in guns blazing was a tall order, one that ultimately made you decide that a relationship with him was not worth your life. You tried to convince the rest of the gang to leave but all that got you was a bunch of noes and a broken heart. Butcher, even with all his asshole ways, held your heart in his hand and it hurt to walk away from him. At least you have Annie keeping you company.

-Wyd 2nite?

Tearing your eyes away from the TV as you lounged on the dingy bed of your motel room Grace Mallory stashed you in, you typed out your response to Annie.

-nm, u?

-wanna meet up w Kimiko n go out?

-yass!

You and Annie meet up with Kimiko just outside of a nightclub. After you gather and exchange hugs, you go in and begin drinking and dancing to the heavy bass playing on the stereo. Multicolored lights flash all around you as you allow yourself to succumb to the party atmosphere. After the song ends, the three of you spot a booth off in the corner of the club and make your way there, stopping at the bar to refill your drinks. The three of you catch up. Annie was still in Vought Tower, Kimiko still working with Frenchie and The Boys. Kimiko gives a recount of how everyone else was doing in the group, including Butcher.

‘He really misses you.’ Kimiko signs. ‘We all really miss you. You should come back.’ You shake your head.

“No, I think it’s better for me to stay away. Butchers gonna get someone killed.” You could feel vibration coming from your phone in the pocket of your dress. Lifting it in front of your blurry eyes you blink a few times to clear them. You try to make out the name but it’s an unknown number, you declined the call.

“Besides, he probably hates me now.” Vibration came from your phone again. *Decline* Another call from the unknown number.

“He doesn’t hate you, y/n. I don’t think-” Annie begins to say but then you interject,

“I’m sorry, I gotta take this. This asshole keeps calling me.” Walking out of the club, you answer the call and before you can talk, you hear a gruff voice on the other line,

“Y/n?” You’d recognize that voice from anywhere. The last time you heard him speak was four months ago when you told him you were breaking up with him.

“Y/n, you there?”

“Butcher?”

“I need your help.”

“What happened?”

“I’m hurting real bad. I need you to come help me.”

“If you’re really that hurt-”

“Y/n, please.” You hear the desperation in his voice. He never begs for anything; he must be down bad. You let out an exasperated sigh and then *click*.

“Butcher? Billy?” You look at the phone screen and see that the call has ended. *ping* An address pops up on your phone. You sigh again. Tapping the edge of your phone on your forehead in frustration, you make your decision. You meet up with Annie and Kimiko and tell them that you’ll catch up with them later, you’ve got something you have to deal with. Rather, someone. But you didn’t dare tell them that.

Hailing a cab and telling the driver the address, you kept thinking this was not a good idea. From what you heard from the gang; Butcher did not take the breakup well. He broke things, drank more, and pushed everyone to their breaking point. MM had to leave the group to regain his sanity, only to return shortly after leaving. Kimiko recounted that Butcher was better when you were around. So why the hell was he calling you if you caused him so much pain? Watching the progression of your map marker reach its destination on Google Maps, your heart began to beat harder in your chest. The car stopped outside of a tall brick building. Tipping the cab driver you made your way in, texting Butcher and asking which level and unit he was in.

Trekking up the steps, heart pounding in your chest, the blurriness in your eyes from the booze now cleared, you made your way to his door. *knock, knock, knock* The door swung open, and across the threshold was Billy Butcher. Still the same handsome man you turned to putty for not too long ago. He stood before you shirtless, clad in green sweatpants. Your mouth went dry, and the screaming thoughts in your brain telling you to march right back down those steps ceased. The two of you just stood there, staring at each other.

“You uhh… gonna let me in or what?” Butcher blinks and then makes an opening for you to slip through. Hearing the soft click of the door shut behind you, you take in the emptiness of his studio apartment. The only furniture in the room was a pull-out bed with tangled sheets, coffee table covered in empty alcohol bottles and a box TV on a beat-up nightstand. You feel guilty for a moment as when the two of you were together, the apartment you lived in never got to this state.

“You said you were hurt?” You said as you turned around to face Butcher. He just stands there, holding a sweating beer bottle in his hand, eyes scanning you up and down. His eyes settle on your cleavage. You snap your fingers to get his attention. It works.

“What did you need help with?” Butcher explains that he needed to be patched up on his back. Turning him around you see that it’s scratches with some gravel lodged in the deeper lacerations. Most of the wounds were superficial, and none of them needed sutures.

“Jesus what did you do tonight, Butcher?”

“Got in a tussle. You gon help me or not?”

“Yeah, turn around.” As you begin cleaning the wounds on Butcher's back, your thoughts then return telling you that you should not be here and you should have gotten MM to clean his back up. After using a tweezer to pull out the small bits of gravel from his back, you grabbed a paper towel and doused it with hydrogen peroxide.

“This is gonna sting.” Before you got a reply out of him, Butcher hissed at the light dabbing you placed on his wounds with the paper towel. As he hissed, you saw the muscles in Butcher's back tense, reminding you of the times he had you on your back and was fucking up into you, head cradled in the crook of your neck, giving you a perfect view of his shoulders and back. You shake your head.

“Okay all done. Be more careful next time.” Throwing the used items in the trash bag and make your way to the bathroom to wash your hands in the bathroom sink. Splashing cold water on your face, makeup be damned, attempting to slow down the growing desire in your core. Walking out of the bathroom, you spot a Hawaiian shirt on the floor, torn and bloody. You look down to inspect it.

“Aw man, this was the shirt I gave you for your birthday. It’s fucked.” You see Butcher pouring two glasses of amber-colored liquor, and he offers you a glass.

“My favorite shirt.” He replies. You shake your head to decline the drink, but Butcher, being who he is, insists. Yanking the glass out of his hand and downing the amber liquid in one gulp, you set the glass down on the counter. You give him a brief goodbye and walk toward the door. Butcher grabs your wrist; you turn and see a silent plea in his eyes. Your brain screaming at you to fly down those steps and out of the building, your heart telling you to be in his arms again. He’s not good for you, he’ll get you killed.

Fuck it, it's fine. You pull Butcher down into a feverish kiss. His mouth met yours with as much passion. You both shuffle to the edge of the pull-out bed, and you push Butcher backward. He falls back easily, letting you take the lead. You go to remove your dress when Butcher places his hands on yours and assists you in pulling it over your head. Once the garment was removed, you straddle Butcher and continue kissing him with the same fiery passion as before, his hands roaming all over your exposed form. You sit up and rock your hips against his, generating some friction for your needy core. Locking eyes with him, you see that Butcher's hazel iris is now covered by his pupils, eyes entirely covered in black. After a few more hip gyrations, Butcher pulls you back down to kiss you. He poured everything into the kiss, tongues, and teeth clashing. You pull away from Butcher and help him lower his sweatpants. Once free, you grab ahold of his throbbing cock and pump it a few times then line it up to your core, rubbing the tip along your slit. Butcher moans. As you sank down on him, you feel your cunt stretch to take all of him in. Once at full hilt, you take a moment to pause to get used to feeling him inside you again. Butcher sat up and rubbed your cheek with his thumb, wiping a few tears you didn’t realize were falling.

“I’ve missed you luv.” Butcher said as he stared into your eyes. It was as if he was looking into your soul, searching for something. You leaned forward and gave him a soft kiss on his lips as you began moving yourself on his cock. Butcher groaned, wrapping one hand around the back of your head and wrapped the other around your waist. The two of you moved in sync, you grind your hips to meet his light thrusts, gasps and moans filling the apartment. You feel the coil in your belly begin to tighten, Butcher felt it too. He then flips the two of you over to where you’re lying on your back and he’s positioned above you, grabbing your legs to wrap around his waist. He buried his head in the crook of your neck as he began to quicken his pace.

“Billy, don’t’ stop… I’m close.” You pant. Butcher takes his right hand and begins to rub circles around your clit, which pushed you over the edge. Butcher follows shortly after, spilling his cum into you with a roar. The two of you lay on the bed, fighting to catch your breath. After a few moments, you get up from the bed to get dressed. Looking for your dress under the bed, Butcher reaches his hand out and gently places it on top of yours. You look up at him and he says,

“Stay with me.” The internal struggle was real at this moment. Your brain tells you to leave, that this man was no good, but you loved Butcher. In the end, your heart won the battle, and you climbed in next to Butcher, snuggling up next to his side. Butcher whispered sweet nothings into your ear, promising you all the things that he said he would do from now on, and that he loved you. Silence fell between you. Just before Butcher fell asleep, you said,

“You know, Annie was proud of me for getting out. She’s gonna be pissed to hear that we’re back together.” Butcher turns his head to look at you.

“What’re you gonna tell her?”

“Oh, I dunno… maybe that I tripped and fell into your bed.” the two of you chuckle before falling into a restful sleep.

#the boys #billy butcher #the boys amazon #karl urban #billy butcher x reader #mothers milk #kimiko the boys #the boys series #william butcher #annie january #billy butcher fanfic #billy butcher x you #billy butcher imagine #billy butcher x y/n #Youtube

233 notes · View notes

notiddygxthgf · 27 days

Text

4. Taste Like Nicotine

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ Go back to Himeno. ❞ ❝ No. That's not what you want. ❞

★ c.w.: suggestive themes, drinking (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: HELLO AGAIN MY POOKIE DOOKIES!! IM BACK AGAIN. bc i have nothing better to do atm and i wanted to give yall a lil sum sum before i moved away to uni. please excuse the pacing of this chapter -- this fanfic was supposed to be a oneshot and uh... now its 160 pages in google docs LMFAOOA.. things get spicy in this chapterrr! so yeah anyway, you know the drill, keep me entertained -- keep your funny little comments coming, I absolutely love reading them. You guys motivate me to keep going! Love yall

★ w.c.;4.1k

shameless ; chapter index

THE OFFICE WAS QUIET, the hum of fluorescent lights and the occasional rustling of papers the only sounds that broke the silence. You were alone, finishing up some last-minute paperwork after hours. The mission had gone surprisingly well—no casualties, a rare feat in your line of work. The team had even managed to kill a large Devil containing a piece of Gun Devil Flesh, a significant victory. Yet, instead of joining the others to celebrate, you had chosen to stay behind. Partly to avoid any awkward encounters with Himeno, but mostly because you felt restless, unable to shake off the events of the past few days.

As you finished up the last of your reports, you glanced at the new message on your phone.

HIMENO| you didn't come tonight.

Typing...

YOU

| I didn't think you'd wanna see me after the stunt I pulled.

HIMENO| I dont, but I wanted u to know that everyone is talking abt u

YOU

| ??

| wym

HIMENO

| your shadow didn't come tonight, either.

Typing...

YOU| look, himeno, ive actually been wanting to talk to you about that

| would you be able to meet up and talk it out?

HIMENO| id rather not honestly.

| ur a grown woman and i cant stop u from doing what u want

| but just know that people in pb. safety talk

| dont mess up a relationship with a perfectly good man for aki

| u should leave him for someone who can actually give him what he needs

YOU| I understand that I've hurt you, Himeno, and I'm sorry

| I have no intentions of being with Aki.

HIMENO| good

| dont get him mixed up in ur fucked up marriage

| he doesnt deserve that.

You sighed, pocketing your phone. There were certain battles you simply couldn't win. This would undoubtedly be one of them.

It was late, and you knew you should head home. You gathered your things and made your way down the dimly lit hallways, your footsteps echoing in the emptiness.

As you passed the breakroom, you heard voices. One familiar voice, more specifically.

You slowed your pace, not wanting to intrude but curious enough to catch a snippet of the conversation. The door was slightly ajar, and you could see two figures inside.

"You look desperate, dude," the unknown person said, barely audible. "It's not attractive."

"I'm becoming ridiculous," Captain Hayakawa said, his voice low and strained. "I'm losing hope."

"Hope of what? Convincing a married woman to break her vows?" the other person retorted, a hint of incredulity in his tone.

Are they talking about me? You asked. You knew the answer. You simply did not want to confront it.

Hayakawa sighed. "I thought she would call me by now," he admitted, the vulnerability in his voice making your stomach churn uncomfortably. "I just... there was something there."

There was a pause, then the other person sighed, his voice softening. "God, you are ridiculous." After a moment, he added, almost reluctantly, "Shit, sorry, man. I know you like her."

"No, you're right," He replied, a note of resignation following his words. "She doesn't want to speak to me. I'm driving myself crazy waiting for someone who's never gonna call."

You felt a knot tighten in your stomach, guilt and confusion swirling together. You hadn't intended to eavesdrop, but now you couldn't just walk away without feeling a pang of something—regret, perhaps? The slip of paper with his number, still in your possession, weighed heavily in your mind. You had been avoiding the situation, avoiding him, and now it was clear how much it had affected him.

Aki's words echoed in your ears as you stood frozen in the hallway.

He was right; you hadn't called him. You hadn't even acknowledged the note, too caught up in your own turmoil and guilt to consider his feelings. Now, hearing him speak so openly, you felt a rush of emotions—sympathy, guilt, confusion. There had been a moment between you, an undeniable spark, but you had chosen to ignore it, to pretend it didn't exist.

When would it all come crashing down – your efforts? This whole situation?

The conversation in the breakroom continued, but you couldn't listen any longer. You turned away, your heart pounding. As you made your way to the exit, you couldn't help but replay Aki's words in your mind.

He had been waiting for you, hoping you would reach out, and now he was losing hope. Fuck.

He had been waiting for me.

The idea thrilled you, for some strange reason. Maybe because you hadn't felt desired like this in years – it made your head spin. But another part of you was terrified—of what it might mean, of the complications it would bring, of the impact on your marriage.

You couldn't help yourself. You did what you always did. You ran away from him.

You knew you couldn't avoid him forever, but for now, you needed time to think. .

7:45 PM

Typing...

Hey. |

Typing...

Hello, |

Typing...

How are you? |

Typing...

Hey. They're taking me out for drinks tn as a sendoff party. I think you should be there.

SENT.

YOU | Hey. They're taking me out for drinks tn as a sendoff party.

I think you should be there.

| At the Sip-n-savor in downtown Tokyo

Seen 8:00 PM .

The night went on without a flaw. The atmosphere was infectious, and you had been trying to let loose, drink in hand, as you chatted and danced with the others. But as the night wore on, a sense of unease settled in. Maybe it was the drinks, maybe it was the memories of the overheard conversation in the breakroom, or maybe it was the subtle disappointment that someone hadn't shown up.

Excusing yourself, you made your way to the bathroom. The mirror reflected your flushed cheeks and slightly smudged makeup. You sighed, turning on the faucet and splashing some water on your face. As you washed your hands, you found yourself thinking about Aki.

Despite everything, a depraved part of you had hoped to see him tonight. You had been both relieved and disappointed when he hadn't shown up—relieved because it meant avoiding an awkward conversation, disappointed because you had been... well, actually looking forward to seeing him.

As you touched up your makeup, you couldn't help but reflect on your own conflicted feelings. You were married, committed, and yet, Aki had stirred something in you that you simply couldn't stand to ignore. It was confusing, disorienting. You weren't sure what you felt more strongly: guilt for being drawn to him or frustration that you couldn't just let it go.

"Ugh," You groaned, pressing your forehead against the sink. "'M g'nna be sick."

Feeling a bit lightheaded from the drinks, you decided to step outside for some fresh air. You left the bathroom and – completely drunk – maneuvered through the crowds to the nearest door.

The cool night breeze was a welcome relief against your warm skin, and you leaned against the balcony railing, taking deep breaths. The city lights twinkled below, and you watched them in a daze, trying to steady your thoughts.

That's when you saw him.

Aki was just entering the party, his sharp suit and dark hair making him stand out immediately. You felt your heart skip a beat. Then another. He was killing you.

He came, you thought, a strange mix of emotions flooding you. Relief, excitement, and that persistent undercurrent of guilt all tangled together.

He spotted you almost immediately and made his way over. As he approached, you couldn't help but think how painfully gorgeous he looked, the dim lighting casting a soft glow on his features. In that moment, he seemed almost like a knight in shining armor, a figure out of place in the lively, chaotic setting of the bar.

"Hey," he greeted, his voice smooth and warm, a balm to your nerves.

"Hey," you replied, trying to keep your voice steady despite the fluttering in your chest.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, a slight concern in his tone. "You're not cold?"

He always seemed to be worried about you and the weather. Still, the chill felt nice against your hot skin, oddly enough.

I missed you, you didn't say. You didn't even think about it. You knew that in a day you would be back on the train and all of this would just be a bad dream, anyway.

You shook your head, a small smile playing on your lips. "No, I just needed some air. It's a bit stuffy in there."

Aki didn't respond immediately, and when you turned your head up to look at him, his expression was unreadable. The noise from inside the bar seemed distant, the world narrowing down to just the two of you in that moment. You felt a tug in your chest, a pull towards him that you couldn't explain, couldn't deny.

"Did you pregame the bar, or something?" You laughed quietly. It felt nice, being able to pretend nothing had ever happened between the two of you and just... enjoy each other's company. "You smell like beer."

"I was having a few drinks with my roommate before you texted me," He answered. Then, looking out onto the street, he added, "He told me I shouldn't come tonight. Said you're driving me crazy."

"So, why are you here, then?" You asked.

He looked at you. "I think you know why I'm here."

There was a brief silence, comfortable yet charged with the unspoken. You glanced at him, noticing the way his eyes lingered on you, soft but searching. It was the same look he had given you in the seminar, the museum, everywhere else, and it stirred something deep inside you.

You hated the way he made you feel.

"Can I buy you a drink?" He asked you. His voice was as deep and rich as ever, and you had about half a mind to take him up on the offer.

You shivered. You knew it wasn't from the cold air. It was him – the smell of him, his cologne, the distinct scent of nicotine that let you know he had just finished smoking a cigarette. It was an aroma so unique to him that you had grown to like it.

You were looking at his lips before you knew it, giving way to a craving you couldn't explain, "I'll try a cigarette, if you have any."

He smiled softly, reaching into his pocket and flipping open a carton of cigarettes and a lighter. He placed a cancer stick between your lips, and you felt a part of you die a little. He struck the wheel of the lighter, bringing the cigarette to life.

You coughed so hard that you nearly hacked up a lung. It had been years since your last cigarette.

Hayakawa stepped behind you, cupping a hand around your elbow, sliding it up your arm, your wrist, your fingers before he plucked the cigarette from your digits.

"First time?" He asked, warm voice hot against your neck.

"Wanted to give it a try," You shrugged. You didn't know what, exactly, had gotten into you. It seemed that with every sip of liquor you took lately, you crept closer and closer back to your old self. The sort of liquid courage that made people make very bad decisions. "Sorry. I'm a little," You waved your hands around yourself, trying to gesture 'drunk' without actually saying it.

"How brave of you," He murmured, pulling a hit from your cigarette and exhaling. He was the picture of sin – face flushed with alcohol, messy bangs, pink lips wrapped around a cancer stick. He was so pretty it hurt.

"I'll try it again when I'm sober," You offered.

"When?" He asked, breathing smoke out into the air. "Where?"

As persistent as always, you thought. Still, you didn't necessarily mind the attention anymore. You told yourself that it didn't matter – you would be out of here soon anyway, and everything would be far behind you before you knew it.

"Why is it that every time I'm inebriated... God tests me by throwing you in my way?" You laughed, Truly, you wished you had considered the implications of your words a little more before you had said them. "Just as I thought your manners had improved since the party. You behaved badly, then. You know that? Very badly," you hiccuped. "You should be ashamed of yourself, throwing– hic–throwing yourself at a married woman like that."

He didn't acknowledge your drunken ramblings, and he also didn't deny the fact that he had been doing exactly that – throwing himself at a married woman.

"Hardly my fault," He breathed out. "I just can't seem to resist you."

"Don't worry," You replied, eyeing him up dubiously as he pulled another hit from what was left of your cigarette. "I'm leaving tomorrow. Won't have to worry about resisting me after that."

"I know," He answered back. "Selfishly enough, I spent the last few hours wishing your train got delayed one more day, or something like that," He exhaled, then snuffed his cigarette out on the balcony, "Still, I'm glad I could see you before you went home."

"I wish I could say the same about you," You replied before you could stop the words from coming out.

He poked his tongue through the inside of his cheek, retorting, "You're gonna sit here and act like you didn't invite me? Like your eyes didn't light up like a child when you saw me pull up?" He turned around, commanding even more of your attention, standing at least a foot and a half taller than you. "You wanted me to come tonight."

It was true. That's the worst part. Everything he said was the truth.

"So that I could say goodbye," You said with remarkable finality, "I'm leaving after this."

You hadn't originally planned on leaving so soon, of course, but you wanted to get the hell out of here before you made another bad decision.

"Already?" He asked.

"You're the one who ran late," You replied. "This ends tonight. I'm going to say bye to everyone else, then I'll be gone."

With that being said, you made your way back to the door. You would go inside, bid everyone farewell, collect your belongings, and then–

He called your name before you could go back inside. You froze in place.

"Am I misreading the signals?" He asked.

You sighed, turning around one last time to clear the air, "This has to stop, Aki. You make me feel like... like I'm guilty of something."

He implored you, "What do you want me to do?"

"Go back to Himeno," You answered, a biting undertone seeping through your words. You were undeniably bitter about the whole situation, and under any other circumstances, you would have tried to be a good sport, but...

Himeno's words were a heavy weight on your heart.

'Don't mess up a relationship with a perfectly good man for Aki.'

'You should leave him for someone who can actually give him what he needs."

You could never be what Aki wanted. He wanted all of you – not just a week of you, clearly. You were married, and you couldn't let all of that go over a guy you'd been toeing the line with for what seemed like ages.

He was a young man. The fact of the matter was that you were a grown woman. A married one.

"She's a sweet, kind woman," You continued. You felt like you were going to be sick just being near him. Unknowingly, tears began to prickle at the corners of your eyes. "Go back and beg her to forgive you. Go be with someone who wants to be with you. Who can be with you."

"No," He answered simply. There was an intensity in his eyes that frightened you, like he would die without you, as he continued, "That's not what you want. I think we both know that. I refused a mission in Hiroshima to stay here with you. I planned to let go of another one in Beijing," He swallowed, "I can change my mind, and you'll never see me again."

"If you have any consideration for me," Your voice was a shuddering whisper, like someone could walk out any minute and hear the two of you going back and forth. "Any semblance– a shrivel of compassion, you'll give me back my peace."

He shook his head, "I can't. You know I can't. You've consumed every inch of my peace, every inch of my mind. How can I give you your peace?"

Fair point.

You had nothing to say to him. So, silently, your vision blurred with tears, you glared at him. Glared and frowned like that would make you believe he was the sole contributor to this issue. Then, again, you turned on your heel and went for the door. You entered the bar quickly.

He followed not too long after you, "I'll go to Beijing, then."

"No." You said. Your teary-eyed fury caught the eyes of more than a few confused bar patrons. "I don't want you to go."

Everyone was looking at you. Seriously, everyone. Your old coworkers, the bartenders, everybody.

You swallowed down your pride, bowing down before them all. "Good night, everyone," You said. You plucked your purse and your jacket off of the barstool. "Thank you for everything. I'm leaving."

Ignoring the confused looks and hushed whispers from the patrons, you exited the bar, your mind a whirlwind of emotions. The rain had started to fall, a soft drizzle quickly turning into a steady downpour. You barely noticed, too wrapped up in the turmoil inside your head. The cold, wet sensation of the rain soaked through your clothes, but you couldn't bring yourself to care. You just needed to get away, to clear your mind.

But of course, Aki followed after you. You could hear him calling your name, his voice barely audible over the sound of the rain. You quickened your pace, almost running, your heels splashing through puddles as you made your way down the block. His footsteps pounded behind you, matching your speed. You couldn't escape him, couldn't outrun him.

Finally, he caught up to you, grabbing your arm to stop you. "Wait, can we please talk?" he pleaded, his voice breathless and desperate.

You turned to face him, rain pouring down around you both. His hair was plastered to his forehead, his suit jacket soaked through. The intensity in his eyes matched the storm, a fierce determination that made your heart ache. You met his gaze begrudgingly, not wanting to deal with this, not wanting to deal with him.

"Have I really been imagining all of this?" He asked. He sounded broken. "Is it really all in my head? Tell me if it's a lie. Tell me to leave you alone. Tell me you mean it—all of it," he paused, taking a shuddering breath. "Or tell me the truth."

You swallowed hard, the weight of the situation crashing down on you. "I don't know how to feel, Aki," you finally admitted, your voice barely a whisper. "I'm trying to be good, but you just keep fucking—popping up everywhere. And you say these pretty things to me, and," You choked back a sob, struggling to find the right words. "I can't help myself around you."

"Running from your problems won't make me go away," he said, stepping forward to put his hands gently on your waist.

There was a long pause as you stood there in the rain, staring at each other. The world seemed to fade away, leaving only the two of you. The storm, the bar, everything else was just a blur. You were tired—tired of running, tired of the confusion, tired of pretending that everything was fine when it wasn't.

He added, "You can't run from your feelings."

This time, it was his eyes that dropped to your lips. His tongue darted out to dampen his own, and then his eyes flicked up to your face. When he spoke, his voice was huskier than before, as if it had been tainted by an emotion that hadn't been there before. Was it lust? Passion? Whatever it was, you wanted more of it.

Your eyes widened. Your mouth had run dry. You didn't know what to say. Even being like this right now -- as close as you were, -- was against your wedding vows. This was wrong, and you couldn't do that to your own husband.

Your own husband who loved you so dearly.

Your own husband who left you hanging so many nights on end.

Your own husband, who acted as if he couldn't care if you lived or died.

As if he had sensed your train of thought wandering, Aki placed two fingers beneath your chin, lifting your face up until he was the captor of all of your attention. Him and him alone. Not your husband, but him.

"I could treat you like a princess," His eyes wandered down to your lips again, but this time there was an unspoken hunger within them. "All you have to do is ask, and I'm yours. I already am."

And, God, what a fool you had been in uttering the words, "Don't toy with my emotions. You don't want me."

He paused, awaiting something, anything. His eyes pleaded with your own, luring you in with promises of pleasure and happiness. Gently, he grabbed your hand, placing it over his breast, right above his heart.

"I want you so badly it hurts," He breathed, "For a night, for a day, for a week..." Aki closed the gap between the two of you – brought your faces closer together. Closer, until you could feel the warmth of his calm breath fanning out against your cheek. Closer, until he uttered, "As long as you'll let me have you."

"Aki, I can't-...." You paused. Yet, still, you never moved. Your body betrayed your words, dilated pupils and trembling hands giving way to your internal dilemma. "This is wrong. You know I can't do this."

You were being a hypocrite. You knew you were. One spare glance down at the placement of your hands on his chest -- one over his breast and one looped around his tie -- and you knew he could tell you were only putting up a front.

"I know," he murmured softly, words practically dying beneath the volume of the rain, "But I can't stop thinking about you."

You folded. Your eyes dropped down to his lips one last time, and that's when you knew he had already won.

Fuck it.

"Fuck you," you muttered, feeling a surge of reckless abandon.

Without thinking, you reached out and pulled him towards you, crashing your lips against his in a desperate, frenzied kiss. It was messy and wet, your tears mixing with the rain, your hands tangling in his hair as his arms finally wrapped around you.

The kiss was filled with all the pent-up emotions, the longing, the frustration, the desire. It was passion, it was anger – it was tongue and teeth and lips smearing your lipstick over the lower half of your face. It was two black holes finally colliding after circling around each other far too long.

"I can't make sense of it. I want... you," you sighed, pulling away, voice trembling, "I don't know what any of this means anymore. I don't know what to think."

"Then don't," he whispered, his breath warm against your lips. He tasted like cigarette smoke, beer and mint gum – a flavor so utterly addicting that you couldn't seem to get enough of it. "Don't think. Let me take you back to your room."

You hesitated, the reality of the situation hitting you. This was crossing a line, a line you couldn't uncross. But as you looked into his eyes, saw the same turmoil reflected back at you, you felt your resolve crumble.

You were tired of pretending.

"Okay," you whispered, your voice barely audible over the rain. It was a final, resigned acceptance, the last nail in the coffin of your restraint.

You were tired of running from the inevitable.

a/n: dont hate me. LMFAOAOAOOAOA. i had to! i absolutely loved writing this chapter and i loved writing tipsy obsessed aki. i headcannon that he's a touchy needy bf and no one can tell me otherwise. i think you all know what happens next. im not sayin nothin tho. hehe. ANYWAYYYYY LMK WHAT YALL THOUGHTTTTT i look forward to hearing it!!! lmk what yall wanna see in the next few chapters/over the course of the story. and if youve already watched anna karenina (or read, in which case... how...) shhhhhh youve seen nothing. muah! x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

#god i love drunk aki #my life is yours #notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚#shameless!#aki hayakawa #hayakawa aki #aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x reader #aki x reader #csm x reader #chainsaw man x reader #denji x reader #eventual smut

34 notes · View notes

xxkissesforchanniexx · 5 months

Note

Hi! sorry if this is wordy but could you make a story of the reader being an fbi agent undercover as skz personal bodyguard? Skz are having a concert soon and this evil organization wants to harm them. It is the readers mission to keep the members safe. But with the distraction of a specific loud and short muscular guy of the group, she gains feelings and struggles to do her task.

As long as this is the main point of the story, I don't mind with what you add. Be as creative as you like with action, romance, or anything.

ihfvnirhfnjnfoernfrihbgt jhebfrherkjfnkrjtgng hehehe

Thank you!

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐞

Pairing: Changbin x FBI Agent!fem!reader Genre: action? >.> Angst (im so bad at writing that) Fluff >.> Word Count: 6.5k Warnings: Cringe T_T, not proofread (they never are.), parent death, REVENGE, reader is shorter than changbin >.>, guns, bombs, someone gets shot (not reader or stray kids.), brief horny reader, i think thats it? tell me i missed anything

A/N: AHHH THIS TOOK SO LONG AND I FEEL LIKE ITS SO BAD AND CRINGE IM SO SORRY UH if you do like it (i really hope you do) please consider reblogging and following ALSO TAGLIST APPLICATIONS >.>

December 19th 2005 "Several bombs were set off at the University of Music last night, there is a total of 59 casualties and counting as authorities work through the rubble. 80 more are critically injured and 127 are in stable condition or have minor injuries."

Janurary 17th 2008 "This is your new home."

"Guys this is Y/N.. She's going to be your sister from now on."

August 3rd 2010 "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

"I want to be a police woman so I can find the person who hurt people a long time ago..

You stared at the case, "So they fled to Seoul?"

"Not just that." Your boss said, "We found this." he set a phone on your desk and pressed the play button on an audio recording.

"How should we go about it?"

"The security is tight, if we put the bombs on the little drones and get the crowd scared, we have an opening to get the people on the stage."

You sucked in a breath. "A bomb threat for-"

"A concert." Your boss sighed deeply, "I trust you to handle it. Without being reckless."

"Sir-"

"It would be best if you did it, considering your experience with these types of events." He motioned to the posters and merchandise littering your office walls and shelves.

You pursed your lips. "Where and when?"

"We're flying you out to the US embassy in Seoul tomorrow , you'll meet someone there." He said with a big smile, "Pack your bags, Special Agent L/N, you're going to Korea."

You had arrived at the US embassy in Seoul at 4:30 am, you learned from the person you met up with you were going to be protecting a k-pop boy group under JYP Entertainment.

"So, this terrorist group wants to attack a boy band?" You looked at the embassy worker.

She nodded, "But it's not about them, for the most part... they want to prove something apparently, did they not attack several concerts in the US?"

"They did." You nodded.

"Then it's not too crazy to assume they want to get some point across world wide." The woman shook her head, "It's alright though, you're going to meet them later in the morning."

"Meet who?" You tilted your head.

The woman blinked slowly at you. "Stray Kids.."

"Who?" You had to hold back your laughter.

"The boy band under JYPE."

"Ah." You cleared your throat. "Alright."

"It must have been a long flight." She smiled, "You can go to your hotel now."

When you got to your hotel room you sat on the bed, laptop open, looking for "Stray Kids". You made a face as you saw their pictures, a particular image caught your attention and you burst out laughing at the sight. He was a short, muscular man, with unruly dark hair under a hat with floppy bunny ears, You copied the image into google image search and said the name softly. "Seo Changbin."

Felix looked like he was going to cry, Hyunjin bit his bottom lip looking at the ground.

"They want to bomb our concert..." I.N asked quietly.

"Hurt our STAY..." Lee Know twiddled his fingers.

"Safest option is to cancel." Chan sighed.

"We can't cancel a concert a month before it's supposed to happen," their manager said, "The company hasn't got the time or money to return everything. Besides, boss said he has it handled."

Changbin looked up, "JYP handled it?"

"No," the manager made a face.

"Then why would you say that?" Seungmin pursed his lips.

"He found someone who can handle it." the manger explained. "That's why we're here for breakfast, she arrived in Seoul earlier."

"Who?" Han asked.

"She should be on the way here." the manager said as a waitress arrived with coffee.

"She?" The boys all asked at the same time.

It was at that time you walked in, you were dressed fairly professionally, a white button up shirt tucked into black pleated slacks and pretty black heels.

"I'm Y/N L/N," You smiled at the men.

"Hi, thanks for coming. Coffee?" The manager offered.

You shook your head.

"Please sit," he motioned to the last seat.

You sat beside a man you remembered as Hyunjin, his long hair pulled back with his bangs on either side of his face. He eyed you incredulously for a moment before you shifted slightly, making the taser you'd carefully tucked into your pants visible. He bristled.

"This is the person who's going to handle it?" Felix asked the manager. "We take STAY very seriously, if something happens-"

"I assure you nothing will go wrong, though, I doubt the people i'm looking for are really aiming for.. STAY..." You put your phone on the table and let the audio recording your boss gave you play.

The leader of the group, Chan, looked scared. Felix put his head in his hands and Minho hugged him.

"So..." Seungmin said quietly. "What happens now?"

"She's going to live with you until she figures out the threat. Please boys, I hope your dorm is clean." The manager said, sipping his coffee.

Chan turned slowly to Han.

Han huffed a small laugh. "Of course.."

"TADA!" Changbin shouted as he opened the door to the dorm.

You walked in looking around, the place was fairly secure. Changbin smiled brightly, shouting "Your room!"

He opened the door to a room that looked like it was cleaned rather hastily. You nodded, going into the room the boys had cleared out for you, you chuckled as you recalled how you'd seen Changbin and Han playing rock paper scissors for who would give away their room, Han lost.

You had sat in your room most of the rest of the day, then you got hungry, only then did you notice how dark it was outside. You considered ordering food but then dismissed the idea, what if these people found out where the boys lived. That was a big no.

You sighed, dragging yourself out of bed and into the kitchen, you opened the fridge making a face and grabbing eggs. You got noodles from the cabinet and got to work making something easy.

It was late, almost midnight, so you hadn't expected any one to be awake. So it scared you when the loud, boisterous Changbin spoke quietly next to you.

"Is there enough to share?" He whispered.

You almost jumped out of your skin. "What the fuck?!" You whisper-shouted, clutching your heart.

"Sorry, I smelled food.." he laughed lightly, watching as you worked. "You know how to cook?"

You hummed. "I know how to not get food poisoning."

He laughed. "Let me help?"

You opened your mouth to protest, but the man was already moving around the kitchen grabbing things. You couldn't stop staring at the way his muscles strained against his shirt.

Get your head in the game. You shook off the thoughts that were invading your head as you stared at his arms.. My head could be in a headlock there... WHAT ARE YOU THINKING????!!!

You left the noodles aside and started frying the eggs, semi-watching as Changbin made instant tteokbokki.

When you both finished, he sat with you and ate.

"Y'know I expected cops to be more serious." he said, before putting some noodles in his mouth and jumping at the taste.

You made a face. "I'm serious."

He looked at you. "Let's be real here."

"I'm so serious." You pouted before popping a rice cake into your mouth.

"Uh huh." He teased.

You rolled your eyes. "I was under the impression that a dark rapper should be moody and brooding."

He made a face. "They call me baby Changbin as well."

You smiled to yourself as you remembered the picture. "Of course," a smirk came to your face. "I should invest in Dwaekki."

Changbin looked up from his tteokbokki. "Have you even listened to our music?"

"I can start." You said proudly.

Changbin stared at you for a moment. "Whatever you say, Princess."

It wasn't even two weeks after you had met the boys something happened. You were on the couch in dorm 1, writing an email on your laptop.

Chan poked your head, "We're going to practice choreo."

You shoved your computer into your backpack and followed the boys out. You got to the dance studio and looked around curiously at the big room, a mirror covered the full length of the wall opposite the door.

It was the mirror that let you see it.

You whipped around just as the person at the door fled.

Changbin stared at you in confusion as you blitzed past, running after the person. It didn't take you too long to catch up, tackling the man to the floor of the hall just before the lobby and grabbing his badge.

You remembered what the manager had told you, all the badges were recently issued in an off white color...

You held the man down, pulling his arm in an awkward position. "Try me and I'll break it. Who the fuck are you?"

The man stuttered before shouting.

Your brows furrowed. "That's not going to wo-" You stared in confusion as a firework looking object rolled towards you.

Then it popped.

A loud bang resounded through the lobby and you instinctively covered your ears, stunned. Your ears were ringing.

The man pushed you off and ran for it. You were about to get up and run after him but that Changbin...

He grabbed your shoulders and shouted at you a few times, then Chan pushed him looking at you with wide eyes for a moment.

Changbin sat with Chan, listening to what the doctor said about your ears, you'd be fine, it was just a very loud sound, the doctor recommended quiet for a few days to stop the background ringing.

Licing with Changbin, Chan, and Han let you know that they really couldn't be quiet, in the dorm, only Hyunjin was ever not shouting. But the moment you walked in, that changed. Changbin and Han were quiet, the others from dorm 2 were all staring at you.

"What?" You asked, raising a brow.

"Are you okay?" I.N asked.

"Oh, of course." You smiled. "I just almost lost my ability to hear."

Lee Know sighed and looked at you. "We're sorry to put you through this."

"Put me through what." You raised a brow before sitting down. "You guys didn't put me through anything. This is what I do."

The boys all stared at you for a moment.

"Is it okay if I hug you?" Han broke the silence.

You smiled slightly. "Hey hey hey. We just met. Back up chipmunk."

"Squirrel." Seungmin corrected, laughing.

"It's a quokka!" Han groaned.

You spent almost two weeks researching the group that had threatened the concert. Most of the time the dorm was quiet, Changbin was usually the only one awake when you were up. He would usually eat late night snacks with you or hover over your shoulder as you worked. In most cases it would make you uncomfortable, but with Changbin it was different.

You watched as the group prepared for the concert, weeks dwindling into days. It was two days before the concert, you were sitting on the couch, it was almost 3 in the morning but you were making calls and asking about security and establishing that no bags would be allowed into the concert.

Changbin watched you for a moment, leaning against the wall.

"No bags of any kind." You sounded so professional.

He smiled and walked over to the couch standing over you as you continued talking to the person on the phone.

"Clear diaper bags?" You sucked in a breath. "Why would a baby be at a- Never mind, leave it on hold for now."

Changbin tapped your head. He looked down at you, dark glasses framing his eyes, his hair looking unruly.

You leaned your head back and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow as if you were already aware of his presence. "No, backstage should be secure. I'll be there myself."

Changbin huffed a small laugh. "You're going to protect me princess?"

Despite your blank expression you felt the blush creeping to your face.

Changbin smiled at you muttering, "I want to take you out."

You stared at him as the person on the other end of the line said something to you. "Uh- Repeat that...?" You asked both the people you spoke to.

"Are we still doing the drones?"

"So will you go out with me after the concert?" Changbin leaned down, his face was so close.

"Yes." You answered.

"Alright ma'am." The person on the other end said. "Will that be all?"

"Yeah..." You hung up the phone and looked at Changbin.

He smiled and leaned down, closing the distance between you and pressing his lips against your forehead gently. "It's late, go to sleep."

He pulled away and walked back to his room, you sucked in a breath and exhaled slowly.

Focus...

You were almost as busy as the manager the day of the concert, running back and forth making sure metal detectors were working and security was extra tight.

"You're taking this very personally." A security guard said behind you.

You looked at you the man. "These are terrorists we're talking about. Of course I'm taking it personally."

One of the staff walked past you with coffees in his hand.

You stopped them. "Where to?"

"Hyunjin, Han and Chan asked for coffee." the man said, looking at you, you noted the mole beside his eyebrow.

"I'll take it." You moved to take the coffee.

"No ma'am. You're very busy-"

You tried to grab the coffee and he turned away quickly. You managed to knock it out of his hand. The cups scattered, empty.

He turned and elbowed the security guard hard as he lunged for him and the man started running. You barely caught the stumbling guard, settling him down before started chasing him, pulling up your walkie talkie you said into it, "Gate 4 check?"

"Good check," Came a flurry of voices through the walkie talkie.

"Lock down on gate 4, all security personnel on west wing on alert."

"Copy."

"Backstage security, do you copy?" You said barely dodging someone pushing a huge sound system.

"Loud and clear."

You cursed as people pulling a big screen moved between you and the man. "FUCK MOVE!" You snapped and they scurried out of your way. Much to your utter horror and dismay, the man was gone. The door to the outside of the backstage area wide open, leading into th lines of people waiting to enter the conert.

You kicked a trashcan, "All units do you copy?"

"Copy."

"Keep your eyes open, goldilocks."

"10-4." they all said and your eyes narrowed as you stared at the door.

You sat outside the dressing rooms twiddling your thumbs. Was it really safe... were you just stupid...? You bit your lip, feeling tears brimming in your eyes at the thought of letting these people bomb this concert full of innocent people.

You looked up as you the sound of footsteps. It was just Changbin, he looked much different, more like those pictures you'd seen online, with his tight, shiny, black leather pants and dress shirt that hugged his arms so perfectly, the black vest and fingerless gloves giving him a scary edge. You quickly wiped your eyes and sucked in a breath. "What?"

"What's wrong?" He kneeled in front of you, being more able to move in the pants that you'd thought originally.

"It's nothing." You lied.

His eyes narrowed at you. "You're going to make my perform badly, I can't perform if I feel bad. I'll mess up rapping, Seungmin might do better than me."

You giggled and looked down as he took your hands in his. "I'm scared." You whispered.

"Of?" he prodded quietly.

"There are really dangerous people here, and I fucked up and lost one." You muttered.

"It's okay." He squeezed your hands gently, moving to sit next to you. "If you can't protect all these people, Chan will protect them all himself."

You smiled gently.

"Hug?" Changbin opened his arms and you leaned into him. You relaxed as he hugged you.

"And I said 'There's no way! It's ok YOU EAT~' " Jisung and Jeongin came around the corner and paused.

Jeongin tried to grab Jisung and turn him around but the man smirked and cleared his throat.

You pulled away from Changbin and stood. "Good luck. Uh, get down if something happens."

You sat there off to the backside of the stage hearing the loud music and screams as boys got on stage. In all your time watching the boys practice there was something about actually seeing them on stage as Hyunjin had told you in the dorm.

"Being in the practice room is one thing. Actually being on stage is another thing, there's an energy we get in front of our STAY."

You were particularly amazed at the volume of the girls who shrieked when Felix started singing, his deep voice reverberating through the dome. You couldn't help but marvel at Changbin for a moment, the way his muscles strained against his clothes as he danced, his hips moving so seductively... FOCUS!...But it's fine isn't it... nothing has happened yet..

The stage lights reddened and you looked up as the drones filled the air, flashing lights everywhere. You exhaled slowly, realizing everything was fine with the drones. After finishing off S-Class Chan calmed down the crows and stared to say a few words.

A scream ripped through the soft buzz of the crowd. You looked in the direction of the scream, Chan raised a brow, opening his mouth to say something and then...

"HE HAS A GUN!" On the opposite side of the huge hall.

You jumped over the railing.

All your time studying these people.

Fear.

Ease.

You ran up the stairs to the stage.

Unrest.

And a big boom..

You grabbed the mic from Chan and shouted, "GET DOWN!"

And the first bomb exploded.

You had your ears covered, head down. There was someone there shielding you, you heard him shouting and knew.

"We have to go!" Changbin shouted.

Chan was staring at the crowd, which was frantic after the series of explosions, many of them were running for the exits. "We should've cancelled..."

You saw a red light flashing on a wall, and a man moving away quickly.

You got from under Changbin, who tried pulling you back but you were already sprinting off the stage. You ran into the crowd, pulling out your gun as you shoved past the scared fans.

The man was so close to the exit, you were going to lose him. Lose another, because you lost focus.

You heard a deep voice, it sounded like it was crying.

"STAY! LISTEN TO ME!" Felix shouted into the mic.

The crowd was still moving.

"THE BOMBS WILL KEEP GOING OFF IF YOU'RE RUNNING AROUND SO STOP!"

The crowd stopped and you looked at the stage, your eyes meeting Felix's as he dropped the mic.

You ran through the crowd toward the red light and grabbed it tossing it out of the open door far from the crowd. The police were already gathering and you turned to see the man moving through the crowd for the door.

You pushed past the people and tackled him gun to the back of his head. "Don't move. I'll shoot." You said.

You sat on your bed, staring at your hands. What type of shit was this...?

"Who gives you orders?" You and a police man had interrogated the man yu had caught for almost two hours but he refused to speak.

"My boss isn't afraid of my death." he huffed.

You grit your teeth, "Who is your damn boss?"

"I won't say anything."

and maybe you punched him a little too hard.

A knock on your door made you look up. "Come in."

Hyunjin entered and closed the door quietly, behind himself, walking over to you. "You did well." he said quietly.

You saw the tears filling his eyes. "Hyunjin..."

He got on knees beside your bed and took your hands in his muttering. "You're doing well... Thank you."

You touched his head and whispered, "It's what I do.. It's okay... I'd do it again without hesitation.."

He shook his head. "You fit in so perfectly, you fill the cracks that we haven't been able to fill," He looked up at you and smiled, "Thank you for being our sister... Thank you for saving our STAY.."

You hugged Hyunjin. "Don't cry, you idiot..."

He sniffled and nodded. "But really.. thank you."

You smiled, "Of course."

Following Hyunjin out you stared at the other members who also looked like they had been crying.

"You caught someone.." Seungmin said quietly. "Does that mean you're leaving us?"

You stared at the boys for a moment, your gaze lingering on Changbin.

"I caught someone." You said quietly. "But my job isn't finished until you're safe.."

Felix was the first to hug you. and then suddenly you were attacked by all of them in a big bearhug.

"You're one of us." Chan smiled, "Don't go back."

You looked at all the boys and for the first time since you got here, you let the tears fall.

Changbin ended up not taking you out due to the lockdown placed on the group by their boss, it didn't stop him from spoiling you, in the building, he came to your room with flowers and (fav candy). He would bring you food and bought you a few clothes he thought you'd look good in.

Everytime he'd surprise you while you were working, Jisung would give you a look. The kind of look that said, "I KNOW WHAT YOU TWO ARE", but was completely wrong, because even you didn't know what you and Changbin were.

You were sitting in at the kitchen table staring at your laptop, it wasn't too late, just around 10pm, but the noise that met your ears made you flinch. Han and Hyunjin came in shaking you wildly as Han shoved his phone in your face.

You grabbed it and made a face. "ARE YOU DONE?"

"LOOK!" They shouted back.

You looked at the screen and your eyes widened. "Is that me?"

There was a video, of the events from a few days ago.

"GET DOWN!"

there was a series of loud bangs and a fast forward, of you grabbing the bomb and throwing it out. Then another fast forward to you tackling the man.

You stared at the comments.

"such a strong woman"

"Our savior."

"why did binnie grab for her like that 😭"

"are we gonna ignore how felix calmed the crowd.?"

You pursed your lips, "I was doing my job."

"You saved them though." Han smiled. "You should come with us later when we can go out as a treat. Chan will pay."

Hyunjin cackled.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head, "Alright."

You sat in your room, when your phone rang, you answered.

"We've got a name and a face. We've sent you the necessary info. When you close the case contact us, we'll book you the next flight back to the US."

and the line cut.

You stared out blankly for a while.. so soon?

And when you opened the email you were sent your ear throbbed at the memory of nearly going deaf... That man... you'd tackled that man and he set off the firework that nearly took your hearing.

"Ah Changbin." Minho sighed. "Look at you. I never thought I'd see the day."

"Seriously." Chan smiled. "Just, tell her how you feel. She's Fiona and you're Shrek."

"You need to hit her with the immature swag." Jisung snickered.

"You-" Changbin raised his hand like he was going to punch the man.

Jisung ducked behind Chan.

"What am i supposed to say hm? 'I think you're strong and really pretty and I want to go out with you.' Seems a little eh?"

Chan cringed.

Han just stared at him.

"I like the Shrek and Fiona thing better." Minho shrugged.

"Changbin just wing it." Chan gave him a thumbs up.

You opened your door in the morning and almost stumbled over a box. "What in the world?"

You picked it up and examined it for a moment. You took it into your room and set it on the bed, carefully you lifted off the lid and stared at (fav color) dress. You took it out and smiled at it a little. You noticed the card at the bottom of the box and picked it up.

Your smile grew as you recognized the writing as Changbin's,

I think this dress fits you just right, wait for me outside at 7 tonight.

You rolled your eyes at his poetic nonsense and stared at the dress.

Hyunjin and Jisung were all over you at 6 pm, pampering you and making you look as pretty as they could.

"You look so gorgeous! I'm a master!" Hyunjin said proudly.

Han gasped exaggeratedly, "Are you saying she only looks good because you did her makeup?!"

You gasped with Jisung. "I thought you were my friend Hyunjinnie!"

"Oh- Oh MY GOD!" Hyunjin groaned before giving Han a side eye.

You giggled and looked at yourself in the mirror, you were really pretty.

"It's 6:45." Han sighed smiling at you, "Our Y/N is all grown up."

hyunjin wiped fake tears. "I'm so proud."

You made a face and rolled your eyes, standing and smoothing your dress, you hummed as you patted down the area where your gun sat on your thigh, just in case, and you grabbed your bag and went to the door.

You only waited about five minutes before Changbin pulled up in front of the building with a sleek, black company car.

"You look pretty." he said as he stepped out of the vehicle and came around to open the door for you.

You smiled. "Thank you, you good too." You stepped into the car and giggled, "Such a gentleman."

Changbin took you to a fancy restaurant and after you ordered, the conversation flowed so smoothly. Even the silence was comfortable, but you noticed it from the corner of your eye.

Two men, sitting at a table a few back from yours, eyeing you... no. eyeing Changbin. When the server came and poured your wine you paid close attention..

Using his right hand he turned the bottle to the left when he poured the wine for your but to the right Changbin.

You swallowed and looked at your wine, something was going to happen.

The thought left your mind when Changbin took your hand in his and smiled. "Y'know during my last stream, STAY kept asking if you were my girlfriend. I couldn't exactly say."

You blushed slightly, "What did you want to tell them?"

"Yes, I'm dating her." He laughed slightly, "Though, since it's jsut me and you," he squeezed your hand gently, "I can say you're only mine."

You blushed even more and laughed. "You're so stupid."

"I think you'd really like only belonging to me, I wouldn't let any guy touch you, I'd buy you food and spoil you."

"You do that anyway, Binnie." You smiled slightly.

He leaned close and whispered, "I guess that makes you mine."

Your heart skipped a beat.

Changbin stared into your eyes and leaned in close, his lips gently brushing against yours. All thought left your mind, it was just Changbin.. but..

You heard the dull click, and whipped around, pulling your gun from the holster under your dress, just as one of the men from the other table, cocked his gun.

You were faster and fired. The man fell back and Changbin grabbed you, pulling you back as the other man sprang up, he pointed a gun at you and it was a intense stare down.

You held your breath. Changbin remain unmoving behind you.

Your heart stopped as a white car pulled up in front of the restaurant. "Changbin get down!"

Changbin kicked the tabled over and grabbed you pulling you back with him as bullets flew through the dining room.

It was a long moment before they stopped, and as you peeked over the table, you locked eyes with the man from the picture, pulling his gun back into the car and smiling at you before they drove away. (Insert evil villain name cus I couldnt think of one)..

The boys were on lockdown again and you were busy, searching everything, everywhere for that man.. for (villain name).

You'd moved to the other dorm, much to the dismay of Hyunjin, who moped about being surrounded by gym freaks.

You took Seungmin's room, which was tidier than Han's. You hadn't moved because you needed quiet, in fact they boys had been quite good at being silent while you worked. It was because you didn't trust yourself, you were scared you wouldn't react as fast as you had at the restaurant with Changbin, you were scared he'd become a worse distraction... you were scared he'd get hurt because of you.

After a month, your informant intercepted another message saying that the man you were looking for was going to a shopping mall to put things up with a bang.

You discussed with the manager, he increased security to compensate for you not being present in the dorms and allowed you to go.

So there you were, sitting in your car outside the mall, staring at the entrance for anything suspicious. You remembered how Changbin had asked you what was wrong when you left, and where you were going...

"You're going alone?" His brows furrowed. "Y/N, be serious, things could happen-"

"What do you want me to do? I'm dragging anymore people into this."

"I'm not asking you to, I just want you to be safe."

"I'm here to protect you and the guys. It's not my choice what I do anymore, this has gotten too out of hand. You can't even go outside without the fear that someone might try to kill you! That's my fault."

"Take me with you then, I'm not afraid of it, I just don't trust the idea of you being alone!"

"Seo Changbin. I'm doing my job. It's not just about you and them anymore."

You pursed your lips and looked at your phone, tempted to say you were sorry..

but your phone rang before you could even take action.

Your brows furrowed, it was an unknown number.

You answered and lifted the phone to your ear. "Hello?"

"I'm glad we could lure you out. I like this game we're playing. Cat and mouse is fun no? It's a two party game. I have to eliminate the extra players, they're taking away my fun. If you involve the police... well that won't be fun."

"What?" You sat up straight.

"I'm not that cruel anyway... I'll give you 30 minutes."

Your heart dropped into your stomach. "WAIT!"

"Starting now."

The man hung up and you stared at your phone for a moment. "Changbin..."

Yongbok stepped out of the bathroom, drying his hair and he tilted his head as Chan sat down with a box on the floor. "What's that?"

"I was going to ask you." Chan said.

Seungmin stared at it. "It has a bad aura about it."

"Since when did you care about that?" Hyunjin looked up from his phone.

"We should open it." Jisung sat beside Chan.

"But-" Jeongin started.

"Didn't Y/N say don't be stupid while she's gone." Changbin said, glaring at the others.

They all nodded.

Minho sat on Chan's other side. "Opening a box isn't stupid."

"I agree." Hyunjin said.

"Guys-" Felix started.

"It's fine Yongbok." Minho said and pulled the lid of the box off.

Chan's brows furrowed, every one sucked in a breath.

"Fuck." Changbin said.

A timer sat in the box on top of a black thing bound with plastic straps, it read 15:50...

Changbin's phone rang. Everyone jumped in fear. His eyes widened as he saw you name. "Y/N- Calm down I can't understand-"

"PUT HER ON SPEAKER!" Felix shouted.

Changbin did as he was told.

You sounded on the verge of tears. "Did you get it?"

Chan looked at the box. "Yeah... We got it."

"I won't make it." You sniffed, "I need you to get scissors and listen carefully."

Jeongin ran to get scissors.

"Someone with steady hands. Listen close. There's no mistakes right now. This isn't acting."

Chan took the scissors from Jeongin and nodded, "I'm listening."

"Remove the timer by cutting the plastic straps. Be careful not to cut the wire surrounding them."

"Are we diffusing a bomb right now?!" Hyunjin shrieked.

"I CAN'T MAKE IT THERE IN TIME THERE'S TOO MUCH TRAFFIC! I CAN'T CALL THE POLICE AND NEITHER CAN ANY OF YOU!"

Chan cut the plastic binding, exposing the explosive and a few more wires.

"There should be a blue wire leading into the bomb directly."

"I see it."

"Cut it."

The boys watched in fear as their leader cut the blue wire.

"Black then grey."

"ok..."

"What's left?"

"Green, red, orange, and purple."

"Purple."

Another cut.

"Orange."

"Now what...?"

"Someone needs to push the button on the back of the timer for 5 seconds. It will give you a 20 second window to cut the last wire."

"What's the last one?" Minho asked.

"Whichever leads to the center of the explosive."

You met silence on the other end of the line before Jisung's voice said, "They both lead to the center..."

You sucked in a breath. "Wait for me."

"We don't have time to wait!" Seungmin shouted.

"How much time is left?!"

"2 minutes!" Felix said.

You slammed the steering wheel and cursed loudly.

Changbin stared at the bomb for a long moment as the members began freaking out.

Hyunjin pulled out his phone and opened instagram starting a stream. "Stay, I love you, we love you!"

"Tell my parents I love them." Jeongin sobbed.

"Chan push the button." Changbin grabbed the scissors.

"Changbin!" You shouted.

"Green means go." Changbin said as Chan pushed the button. "STAY, we love you. Y/N, I love you."

And he cut the green wire.

You heard a loud bang and the line went dead, your heart plummeted. You finally pulled off the highway and into the parking around the dorms. You ran to the dorm and-

Changbin hugged you tightly as you opened the door.

Your hands trembled before you hugged him back. "I thought you died."

"You were that worried about me." He muttered into your hair.

"Yes.."

Jisung coughed loudly, earning a punch from Minho.

You laughed and pulled away from Changbin, arms open.

You shrieked as Chan bear hugged you and then everyone was on you.

As you laughed you saw someone in the hall shaking their head. You pulled away as the man started running.

And you took off running after him. Not this time. You wouldn't let him get away again. You jumped onto him just as he got to the stairs, he stumbled and fell with you. You felt the cold metal of a gun barrel brush your arm and bit down on his arm hard.

The gun fell away and skidded away. You hit the landing platform hard, your shoulder taking the brunt of the force before you rolled for the gun.

You thought about a statement you'd heard from your boss months ago. I trust you to handle it. Without being reckless.

Why were you reckless? Why did you never give a shit what happened as long as you caught the criminal..? Because you didn't care then. Because it was your job... your obligation.

What was it now?

The man grabbed your leg and dragged you towards him and you kicked his face hard.

You scrambled with your opportunity for the gun.

Your fingers wrapped around the grip, as the man dragged you back towards him..

and it all seemed to go in slow motion as the boys came down after you. And the man's hands wrapped around your throat. You held the gun to his head and shouted with the last of your breath as he squeezed your windpipe, "BANG!"

and you pulled the trigger.

17 years ago December 19th 2005..

"Shh, she might hear."

"The gifts are better down by the college anyway."

"Honey. You're being loud."

"Fine fine."

You heard them giggling before you poked your head outside your room. You watched your parents leaving the house. You smiled to yourself knowing they were going to buy Christmas gifts.

When the morning came and your parents weren't in their room, you became confused. In the snow, dressed in your pajamas and bunny slippers you went to your neighbors house to ask if they'd seen your parents.

The little old lady next door stared at you before the tears welled in her eyes, "You poor thing.."

You were only 5 when your parents died. You were only 5 when you learned what it meant to yearn for revenge. You'd spent all your years in the force since you were 17 trying to find the organization behind the bombs...

And you were today many years old when you learned revenge wasn't a liberating feeling.

"BANG!"

BANG!

The boys stared in shock as you pushed the man's body off of you and sat there. Changbin didn't hesitate to run and wrap his arms around you, examining your face before looking into your eyes.

"Y/n... y/nnie?"

And you passed out.

The past week had been a blur of appointments with press and a million other things.

It was Friday you finally got to lie down and breathe.

You were lying in bed staring at the ceiling when you got a call. You rolled over and answered the phone. Your boss's voice came to your ears.

"Good job, L/N. We're glad you could do it. We're booking your flight back to the US already."

"Sir-"

"You'll be receiving a promotion to a less risky position as a token of our gratitude."

Changbin entered your room and stared at you.

"I can't-" you tried.

"I have to admit I myself am shocked, L/N you've proved your reckless behavior is productive and I owe you-"

"SIR I QUIT!"

The other end of the line went quiet.

Changbin sat beside you and pulled you against him.

"I- I accomplished what I wanted. I'm pretty young still. I'll go to college. It's time I change careers."

Your boss was quiet on the other end of the line.

"Consider this my resignation letter. It was an honor. But i can't be reckless anymore."

The boys were poking their heads into your room now.

You looked at them all and smiled.

"I have something... some people..." You leaned against Changbin. "Someone... I want to keep living for."

"We'll send your pay for the case..." Your boss said softly. "I'm glad I met you L/N, it was an honor to have you in the force."

You lowered the phone and hung up.

"Soo....?" Minho said, looking at the others. "She's NOT going back to the US?"

"No Minho. I'm here to stay."

The boys cheered and jumped. You smiled slightly and looked at Changbin.

He leaned in and kissed you.

You blinked. Stunned.

Jisung jumped and held his hands out to Hyunjin "5000 PUT EM IN MY HAND! ALL OF YOU!"

You stared at them for a moment, "You were-"

"Green is green!" Jisung ran away cackling.

You laughed and shook your head. "I love you guys."

"I think you love me most." Changbin said and kissed your cheek.

"I love you just a little bit more than them."

He rolled his eyes as the others ran shouting about their money. "I love you."

You hadn't gotten the feeling you dreamed for in revenge but in them... in Changbin you found something more.

"STOP BEING LOVE BIRDS AND MAKE THEM GIVE ME MY MONEY!" Jisung shouted.

77 notes · View notes

rin-and-jade · 25 days

Text

Accidentally Setting Off Bombs?.. : A Post on (system) Triggers

What if you're on a fine day, nothing's going wrong, only to be met with a specific phrase or experience that throws off your balance for the next few days?

Well, it seems like you got some landmines in your mental territory with it's uninviting presence--but triggers are more than just a trauma mechanism. As basically, we all (singlet and systems) operate with many, many, different types of triggers that makes us act the way we are.

This post will cover different kinds of triggers, educate the nuance of its purpose, as well as how they operate--or respond like, and how to handle the typical destructive and bad triggers! There's even bonus info. CLICK ME!!

TLDR section: gotchu covered! Scroll to most bottom.

Trigger? What trigger?

Uhhm.. Hold for a sec guys-- *googles awkwardly infront of you* Alright, found it: "to cause something to start" -Cambridge Dictionary

To cause something, you say? Okay, i see now, try bringing yourself back to past experiences for a while and observe how some responses/conversations had made you feel: sad? happy? confused? angry?

That's a general example of triggers, as they spark an emotion to you within a brief moment after you've finished registering and processing an information.

When it comes to system topics, the word "triggers" are often used to describe any informational/sensory input that caused/starts a switch between two parts. This usually takes more than sparking a fuse that will cause emotions to do that though.. here, let the chief explain some types for you:

Types of triggers.. (and as bomb names)

Internal - Dynamite Caused by: Thoughts, memories, experiences Combustion power: High

Details: Due to high sensitivity, any internal pressure can cause it to detonate and land a strong impact, giving way for strong emotional reactions to hit fast and strong, or a sudden switch to happen.

External - Landmine Caused by: Stimuli from external environments (scents, people, places) Combustion power: High

Details: Due to its ability to detect pressure on a proximity, rearing too close to one would cause a detonation, no matter how unexpected or aloof.

Physiological - Grenade Caused by: Heart rate, pain, hunger, fatigue, etc Combustion power: Moderate high

Details: Being exposed to a stimulus causes the safety pin to be pulled, which gradually causes a build up of chemicals before reaching to the shell's threshold, causing a defined space of explosion.

Psychological - Time bomb Caused by: Stress, anxiety, overwhelm, etc Combustion power: Moderate

Details: Set with a special timer, after being triggered, it has a defined length of time before it detonates, this can be from a couple of seconds to hours. Failure to diffuse, would mean the prolonged exposure and effects will inevitably, turn into an explosive mess.

Behavioral - Smoke bomb Caused by: Routine, certain repetition, engaging an activity Combustion power: Moderate

Details: They're not apparently harmful, but when deployed, it causes a fog of confusion, causing dissociation and detachment from a certain part to notice or be fully aware of the situation. Unlike other previous bombs, they may cause a more silent/subtle or temporary switch or shift.

Emotional - Firecrackers Caused by: Negative, or positive emotions Combustion power: Low to moderate

Details: Although small, they're very loud and explosive. They do not have any destructive capabilities within them, yet capable of causing a temporary reaction of emotions or myriad of things. Possibly close to a partial switch/influence. Unless strong, it could cause a switch.

Symptom - Flare gun Caused by: Presence of specific symptoms from illnesses/health Combustion power: Low

Details: They don't have any explosive or destructive qualities, rather, it's akin to an SOS signal, alerting possible parts to come by as an aid to the situation, responding and taking the wheel from the distress call, tanking discomfort/symptoms.

Meaning of terms: "Caused by" - To convey what it detects that started the trigger "Combustion power" - To convey how strong it facilitates a switch, and/or how destructive the reaction would be if it sets the fuse off

Okay, but how do they work??

Explosives devices such as dynamites, landmines, or grenades pack a lot of charged emotions or reactions that is strong enough as a signal to your brain to perform several brain modes and complete a switch that is necessary to the heat of the situation.

While less destructive ones like crackers and flares do not hold enough pressure or combustion, which explains partial alter influences, or just enough to call them into the co-conscious proximity.

The idea of how triggers facilitate switches is from how these inputs are taken account into brain modes as cues, and depending on the cues and learnt patterns, it will bring forth an associated alter that fits for the situation.

In short, parts have their own memory banks of experiences and triggers, which is why dangerous or stressful situations bring forth protectors or why seeing cute videos or toys bring forth littles.

Are we ever free from triggers?

No, not really--but that doesn't mean its bad!

Generally, triggers are just the mediator to initiate certain steps, actions, emotions, or learnt behaviors to navigate our life. It's what puts us into work mode, or when to joke--when to not. We're made of different sets of modes, and these triggers made sure we act and think correctly within specific situations.

The issue here is when traumatic triggers are ruining other benign types of triggers, which i will address next.

When bombs are planted with trickery:

The complexity starts here. Why? Because triggers also works in stacks and combos. Especially the traumatic ones. A trigger only can shift/affect a mood or state, but combo'd ones does a rollercoaster of reactions, where most damage is done.

They're capable of stacking or performed in combos due to how each activates another trigger, one after other, i'll give an example:

You got insulted by someone (external trigger) -> Caused you to feel sad (emotional trigger) -> Makes you remember all the other times you've disappointed people (internal trigger) -> These past experiences slowly overwhelm you and cloud your judgement (psychological trigger) -> Which causes a breakdown and perform unhealthy coping mechanisms, like isolating or substances (behavioral trigger)

Oof.... yeah no one would like that. Right? Right??..

Alright, and that's how easy it is to get caught up to a reactive state. And you'd love to know ANY. FRICKING. WAYS. to diffuse that annoying pattern.. which i do know--if not this post won't even be released if it doesn't have the advice section.

Chief, spill your CIA files on this!

I am, i am!!..

Oftentimes, these triggers hit you big and hard,, because once ya lose your cool? Thats game over. Now, here's a lil cheat sheet:

Identify the device Which is why understanding and identifying the name of the bombs is the first important step to counter the detonation. Did you snap a trigger for defensive behavior? Or the one that makes you feel lots of things?

Do not run, attempt to diffuse instead I mean, we all want to escape from potential dangers, but that doesn't stop the explosion, which may or may not hurt you or other people within the process. Once you start feeling finicky or a little panicky--immediately assert yourself to recognize your build up pressure, that'll muffle it good and helps you and control from the reactive bursts from affecting you emotionally and mentally.

Cut the wires off (get out of the negative thought loop) Take proactive steps to solve or manage your emotions. We often assume the worst would happen, and thats when.. you leave the bomb as it is. Get going and prevent the worst possible scenario. Craft a plan on how you can manage,, are there pliers? Do you have enough time to cover with a shield to avoid its impact? I don't know, smash it!

Understand consequences (additional info) When you realize that there are various ways to react after a trigger is activated, you might see which can make the situation worse, or can make the situation lighter. This buys you a little more time to reflect and choose the outcome you truly want to achieve.

For first-timers, it is hard to fight off the bombs because you never had a plan or experience to handle them, if so, this is your call to create a plan or strategy whenever triggers will topple your balance. Most importantly, self confidence and trust in managing a difficult, bomby situation would do you wonders.

If you failed to deactivate the bomb:

Salvage the situation If the damage was inevitable, then you can attempt to ground yourself back, and empathetically apologize to the people who got hurt in the process. Explain to them what just happened, and etc.

Log them in What pattern did you see? What can you implement next time to manage the situation better? This is a good moment for reflection/evaluation and planning.

Give yourself some grace (most important) You're just learning, punishing or shaming yourself won't get you anywhere far. It's okay, you can still practice to deflect another future trigger if you do failed a bunch.

Bonus Information

Triggers are also connected to the polyvagal theory, i'll share you a bit on it!

When brain modes has the job to pull out the right alters for the right situation then... who opens the gate for a switch to happen? Thats right, its your big brother: Mr. PV .

Hyper-aroused vagus:

Switches happen within the sympathetic state--which is all about action and fight/flight. Being in a sympathetic state makes certain alters with active roles be more alert, and also signals an urgency to be flexible or adapt to the situation. The threshold for triggers to feel 'moderate' emotions also lowers (means more sensitive), which also make sense why you are easier to be irritated or emotional in a heightened state.

Often times, if too many alters are co-conscious, and variated stimulus are presented, this causes multiple switches at short successions in attempt to upkeep the demand of which alter is needed within the ever-changing moment. Like when you're trying to juggle some balls with your hands, it's akin to multitasking.. but juggling alters around.

Oh right, sounds familiar huh? That's what rapid switch is.

Hypo-aroused vagus:

But, when you're too overwhelmed or had exerted alot of strain/energy, you might crash into a mental exhaustion.

This exhaustion is the dorsal vagal state, where your body attempts to conserve and hide away when active fighting doesn't work. triggers are harder to facilitate switches as it puts the threshold bar up high.. rendering normal triggers obsolete.

Felt like you've been there? Well, that's the process which made you front-stuck, which you might recognize.

-- clarification -- Rapid switch and front-stuck also involve other factors such as stress tolerance and emotional resilience, take this as a piece of pov to learn how these two mechanisms works.

Takeaway

Alright fellas.. that's all you get from the hands on education on my bomb camp. What kind of bomb do you often experience? Which one is the most annoying to you so far? Let me know!

Also.. it would be awesome if you start mentioning triggers as bomb names as they almost perfectly depict what they feel like.

AND REMEMBER. Do not attempt to intentionally trigger a bomb without a professional or a trusty friend. Doing so alone would cause unwanted effects. If you want to un-learn your triggers, contact me,, the master of bombs,,, i'll be able to curate a personalized step by step on how to tackle them!

(and... uh... i write my posts differently after final fusing, i hope you guys are okay with this forever now)

-- TLDR --

Triggers in DID they are cues (internal, external, emotional, etc.) that cause a specific reaction or switch between alters, depending on the situation.

Triggers vary in impact: some are like dynamite (internal triggers from memories), others like landmines (external stimuli), grenades (physiological states), time bombs (psychological stress), smoke bombs (behavioral patterns), firecrackers (emotional responses), or flare guns (symptom-related).

Polyvagal Theory explains rapid switching between hyperarousal (fight-or-flight state) and hypoarousal (shutdown state), contributing to feeling "stuck" or experiencing frequent switches.

Not all triggers are negative; they can play an adaptive role, bringing forward the most appropriate alter for a situation. Learn to manage and "diffuse" these triggers by identifying them, using grounding techniques, and developing strategies to mitigate their effects.

Key takeaway: Triggers are a natural part of life for everyone, but managing traumatic triggers is essential for those with DID. Understanding and handling them effectively can help maintain balance and well-being.

- chrono

#did #actually did #did community #did osdd #did system #dissociative identity disorder #sysblr #jeducates

45 notes · View notes

circeyoru · 7 months

Note

I think I’m gonna try drawing Readers demon form at least a concept of it, any outfit inspo?(like from google I need a concept)

Go to MASTERLIST for the works.

I'll assume it's for {Unwanted Soul}, check out the demon design description at the end of this request.

If it's outfit inspiration, there are a few I had in mind. I'll descript it, otherwise you can see the pictures I searched for (after I read your request).

Outfit: Something semi-formal. You like wearing something between fancy and causal. (you actually love people in formal clothes)

Key point on things that hang off of you, like a scarf with a long tail or a belt that ties the coat

You MUST have a book holster on your hip on the opposite side of your dominant hand. Functions like those things that put a gun or sword to your hip

Now this detail can be hidden or in plain sight. The quill that's your weapon (I described it before that it's in the inner pocket of your coat, but it can be in your hair or a decorative feather on your person until you need to use it)

*If you think of yourself as the type, maybe something to cover your hands so you can hide weapons or secret write something (like longer sleeves or baggy coat or even a cloak)

I'm more interested to see your interpretations and imaginations, but feel free to draw in these outfits below. Please @ me if you guys got them!! You can DM or send it to my inbox if you're shy. (the first one is the book holster)

#Circe's Nighty Writings #alastor imagine #alastor x reader #alastor x y/n #alastor x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor headcanons #hazbin hotel fanfiction #alastor #hazbin hotel oneshots #yandere alastor #yandere alastor x reader #yandere hazbin hotel #alastor fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #Unwanted Soul

63 notes · View notes

gaysindistress · 2 years

Text

Sad Girl

summary: James has an interesting new business’ proposal and one hell of a condition to deal with.

pairing: Mob!Bucky Barnes x Reader

warnings: cursing... for now

word count: 1.8k

authors note: This is my first time posting so please let me know if you want to rest of this series!

series masterlist

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif. found on google/Pinterest

Angry foot steps stomp through the large hallways and up the marble stairway. Raised voices try to alert the others that she is coming and is fuming. She waves a manicured hand above her head, telling them to shut the fuck up before she takes her anger out on them. Her heels nearly crack the marble as Scott trails after her, trying to get her to slow down.

“Ma’am please stop,” he gasps, lot of breath from chasing her through the foyer.

She stops, taking a deep breath, and turns to look down at him. The diamond “S” of her necklace swings as the pearls and chain barely leave her skin. Her hair nearly whips Scott from the force of her turn.

“Oh Scott it’s too late to reason with me. I’m already seeing red so why don’t you be a good boy and open that door before I tear it down,” she says eerily clam, pointing to the door in question at the top of the staircase.

“I… I can’t do that,” he stutters.

Her black french tips rub the headache coming on as she closes her eyes, “Yes, yes you can. Now go.”

The movement from her arm causes her black outercoat to open slightly and the holster with its accompanying gun flashes every so slightly. Scott’s eyes go straight to it, knowing that she would never pull it on him but the men she’s after are an entirely different question. Scott just nods, climbing the stairs around her as he curses himself for taking this job and dealing with such horrible people.

Once he reaches the door, he gives it a heavy push causing the room to go silent at the intrusion. There is a large oak desk towards the back of the room, crowded by men who all look the same. The head of the family is sitting behind the desk in an even larger throne-like chair, two giants at his sides. The men doing business with him are lounging in the oversized chairs in front of the desk. They too have men flanking their sides as if to say “fuck around and find out”. A woman typing feverishly at a computer is the corner and doesn’t even look at Scott because her job is not stop typing no matter what happens. The room also houses two couches and a coffee table for the “easier” business dealings, at least that’s what the family head says.

Scott makes eye contact with the head, “she’s here and pissed.”

The head just nods and gestures to one of his side men. He starts to say something to him when the woman in question slides behind Scott, one hand on his shoulder and the other on her hip.

“Hello, Dad.”

He smiles, “Hello, Darling. We were just finishing up.”

She lets out a sinister laugh, “Like hell you were. Did you really thing you could get away with doing all of this shit without me present?”

She gently pushes Scott out of the room, shutting the door in his face before walking towards the bar her father had installed to fuel his drinking habit. Grabbing 4 glasses and an amber bottle, she makes her way to the desk, not saying a word as if to dare any of the men to utter something. She pours a drink for each glass and hands her dad a glass.

“You know you’re not supposed to be involved in all of this,” her dad states as he takes the glass and leans back in his throne.

Ignoring her dad, she turns to the men and gestures towards the glass, silently saying “go one and take one”.

“You know you aren’t supposed to offer your daughter up as collateral when you fuck up a business deal,” she offers over her shoulder as she takes a sip from her glass, leaning against the desk, “now which one of you fools actually agreed to this deal?”

The brunette is watching her and taking in every detail she has to offer, willing and accidentally. The blonde sits up a bit straighter and readjusts his suit jacket under his overcoat.

“No one has agreed to anything yet, Miss. Stark,” the blonde says, crossing his hands in his lap. His watch peaks out from under his sleeve, shining under the natural light from the window. A slight glint bounces of his finger and she makes note of the pinky signet ring he wears.

“Darling we were just about to sign the papers, so if you could leave that would be great,” Mr. Stark’s voice is growing slightly impatient at his daughter’s invading presence.

“Don’t you want your business partner to see what prize he won for saving your ass, dad?” the last word is meant to land like a dagger in his heart but his unbothered face proves it does little to change his mind.

“Don’t you think they might want an inspection? You know to make sure their new property isn’t damaged,” she sneers as she sets her glass and down and begins to take off her overcoat.

“I’m sure they would love to make sure there are any structural flaws that would render their property useless,” she continues to shed her blazer, leaving her with her holster and v neck blouse. Her necklaces are now shining in all of their glory from the sun and the gun strapped to her ribcage makes everyone stand on high alert.

“Stop,” is the single word that leaves Mr. Stark’s lips and now the impatience is growing to the surface.

The men to his side step forward when they spot her gun and the men behind her step closer to their bosses. The blonde and brunette share a look as they both chuckle under their breath at the display of defiance and anger.

“You are not property so stop referring to yourself as a real estate transaction.”

The gun is pulled from the holster as she slips the holster off and tosses it on the desk beside her jackets. She points the revolver at her dad’s forehead as she shakes her head.

“Then don’t treat me like I am one. I am your daughter so start showing me some respect and call of this deal.”

“Doll put the gun down,” the brunette says from behind her.

“Doll?” she questions as she drops the revolver and turns to look at him, “Don’t call me by some pet name, Barnes. Use my name if you really want to talk to me or did you forget what it was considering you’re too dim witted to see what that contract actually entails.”

A shift in the air around her causes her to look to her right as the blonde takes the revolver from her hand and sets it on the desk. He towers over her, looking down as he scans her face.

“We already made the necessary changes, Miss. Stark. I can assure you James and I are well aware of what we are getting ourselves into. Is there something you might want to add?” he says to her and her only.

She scoffs at his pretend nice attitude and goes to push him away but his hand pins hers to his chest.

“Do you want to make any changes?” he whispers again, blue eyes boring holes into her eyes.

“Yeah take me out of it,” she whispers back and rips her hand from his.

“Wanda!” the woman typing looks up at the sound of her name, “I have one thing that I want to add. If he harms me in any way, I reserve the right to cut his dick off, leave and nothing happens to my family.”

The blonde continues to watch the enigma of a woman in front of him as she tries her hardest to not shot her father, him, and everyone else in this room.

“Define harm,” Wanda asks, still typing.

“If he lays a hand on me, breaths wrong, looks at me wrong, says something I don’t like, anything that I don’t like,” she replies and pushes past the blonde to steal his chair.

The blonde chuckles again when it’s his turn to lean against the desk and glance between his friend and her.

“She’s gonna be a real handful,” James states as he stands, “can we sign the papers and get out of here?”

Confusion flashes across the woman’s face for a second but it returns to her resting bitch face.

Mr. Stark nods his head, handing James a pen as the blonde slides out of his way for him to sign the contract.

“Um excuse me? Why the fuck are you signing?” she questions, pointing a finger at Barnes, “Isn’t Rogers the one my dad made the deal with?”

James takes a look at her before going back to finish signing the papers in front of him. Rogers, the blonde, hands back her hostler, blazer, and overcoat before speaking, “James and I both made a deal with your dad. In exchange for our protection and resources, we will receive a portion of his earnings from Stark Industries. For extra reassurance that he wouldn’t cross us, he gave me his vibranium supplier and he gave you to James.”

Silence fills the room. She stares daggers at Rogers, slicing her way to Barnes before settling her knives on her father.

“You gave me up instead of some other supplier?” she nearly screamed at her father as the two men at his side quickly grab her by the arms. All sense of self preservation and elegance has left her body as she thrashes in their hands and desperately tries to keep her sobs in.

“You chose a fucking supplier relationship over me?”

Mr. Stark ignores her as he signs his name and passes the papers off to Rogers. He shakes James’ and Rogers’ hands before stalking his way towards his daughter.

“You are my daughter so start fucking acting like it. You knew this was going to be your life when I found you begging on my door step. If you’re going to be mad at anyone, be mad at your mother for leaving you for drugs,” he whispers through clenched teeth into her ear.

Her eyes had welled up with tears but her father’s words freeze her, only one escaping down her cheek. Mr. Stark makes a motion with her hand and the men release her on unsteady feet. She stumbles forward into her father’s arms.

He wipes the tear away, pulls her into a death grip hug and soothes her hair down as he whispers in her ear again, “James is the lesser of two evils. He won’t hurt you if you play the part. You know I wouldn’t let any undeserving harm come to you. Now go pack a bag and get ready to leave with him.”

He pulls away, keeping her at arm’s length and pretends to check over her as a good father would if his babygirl was upset. All she does, all she can do is nod, pick up her dropped jackets, and walk out of the room. All eyes are on her as the head strong façade crumbles in front of them, leaving behind the frightened little girl she really is.

#mob!bucky #mob!bucky barnes x reader #mob!bucky barnes and reader #mob!bucky barnes imagine #bucky barns x reader #bucky barns x y/n #bucky barnes imagine #sad girl - bucky barnes #bucky barns x you #bucky barnes #mob au

420 notes · View notes