#I’m not going to act like the show helped me through depression or something important I just love it too much too explain and it fills my

[ttheatre-trashh]

I’ve cried so many times over the fact I’ll never get to see the iconic cast of ride the cyclone live and meet them because I think I would cry

[turbulentscrawl]

can i rq general hcs for antonio? thank you 💜

I’ve been a little more hesitant to tackle the Hunters, (aside from Ithaqua) just because I’ve been unsure how much to lean into them being the “villains” of the manor. And honestly I’m still a little wishy-washy about their characterizations…but anyway, I’m gonna give it a go with Antonio here (because I’ve got requests for him ;) ) and you guys please feel free to tell me if it feels off.

-Antonio is, first and foremost, depressed. And all his coping mechanisms are self-destructive. When life got hard, he turned to alcohol, and then later to gambling. And then, you know, to making a deal with the devil or something. The combination of those broke his wallet, his love, and then his spirit. His fuse is shorter now as a result, but instead of blowing up he moreso just…deflates.

-Despite being a Hunter, a “bad guy,” he’s probably better now than he was before. The biggest issue now is really the whole possession thing. He’s not exactly what you’d call “in control” of his body a good chunk of the time. Exactly when he’s going to lose control is generally unpredictable, aside from feeling like an invisible string of hair has coiled around his wrists shortly before. It happens a lot in matches, where he’s otherwise hesitant to be all that brutal, as well as when his mood gets low enough like above. But when he is in control, history has made Antionio milder than he was before his initial spiral.

-He still really likes his alcohol, but he’s better about taking it in moderation now. The other Hunters help to keep him in check about this as well, if not because they care about him then because he makes for an annoying, hot-headed drunk. He tends to pick fights when he’s really wasted and why would they want to deal with that?

-Gambling is also still problem for him, but since money doesn’t matter in the manors it’s both less concerning and less thrilling. He and some of the other Hunters place bets on matches, staking things like higher-end foods and favors to one another. He’s often requested to play specific pieces of music for people when he loses—particularly ones he dislikes.

-Because of the greedy imprisonment he suffered, Antonio dislikes spending long periods indoors, and especially in his room. He spends as much time outside as possible, enjoying the garden flowers and a cool breeze. On full moons, when there’s nothing planned, he usually goes wandering about to try and find any survivors doing the same. He enjoys the fresh company, for the most part, and even considers some of them friends.

-Antonio is among the most displeased of the Hunters, regarding the set-up for matches. Despite his history as a violent drunk, he takes no pleasure in hurting people, and he’s bitter about possibly having to be “evil” for the rest of eternity. The fact that some of the survivors don’t hold the matches against him is a balm to his aching soul.

-While the violin is his instrument and weapon of choice, Antonio enjoys all of the arts. Any kind of music, visual, or performance. He understands the importance of self-expression, and loves to see people give themselves to it in earnest. What he dislikes are frauds. People who use art just to make a buck.

-The best love languages for Antonio are Quality Time and Acts of Service. He finds it incredibly sweet when others anticipate some of his needs and complete tasks for him in case his arms are taken and he’s unable to do them himself later. He also just enjoys spending time around his loved ones, it reminds him that he’s not some irredeemable monster. He prefers to show his love through Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch, often giving people sweet pet names and touching their arms.

-His hair is stronger than the game suggests. He can easily carry large items, other people, and even lift himself with it. He can hoist himself up to a second-story floor with relative ease, though being lifted by your scalp isn't exactly the most comfortable sensation, so he tries to avoid it.

[s0dium]

hi!!! i just saw you had a matchup event and i would like to enter if its still open 👉🏾👈🏾

i typically go by nikki online!! i’m pan so i don’t really have a preference for gender. i would like to be matched with jjk or demon slayer charas!!

i game, draw (i’m starting an art account and hoping to sell works… soonish?), and watch twitch streams literally daily. i’m a very big nerd!!! openly, too. there’s not much i don’t like other than basic boundaries and being overstimulated.

wait. i hate people that lie. for whatever reason!! i’m very honest (a lawful good 😔) and empathetic to a fault at times. with that being said i find it easier to make friends than most, usually from doing something equally stupid and kind for people. very family and close friend oriented, but not so much that i think its a priority in relationships. (though i don’t want children and probably will never)

i think i’m very into quality time and acts of service as love languages. my partner also has to be okay with physical touch… i get cuteness aggression so much. i don’t have many turn offs but i do want some sort of open communication and to feel safe. my partner should also be my best friend!!

and uhhh. most things don’t make me cry? i’m typically the strong person that people look to to keep them stable in tough or situations. though i am very open about my struggles with depression and anxiety, i think i’m often seen as pretty cheerful and always laughing LOL

also omg i love cats….. so sad my family is afraid of them :(

hopefully this is not too long… i’m so sorry if it is. but ty for reading and doing a matchup event!!!

Nanami Kento!

Nanami's voice is ragged against your mouth. "If I get my hands on you, really, honestly get my hands on you, I don't know if I'll be able to stop. You know he isn't lying. You know it in your soul. That's why you trust him with your body. "So stop being so honorable Nanami and touch me."

It was tempting to pair you with a more "nerdy" character but I see Nanami fulfilling and completing you really well

Most of your dates with Nanami would involve quiet, meaningful activities at home. He appreciates your artistic side, so evenings might be spent with you drawing or even watching twitch streams while he reads or works quietly beside you, both enjoying the comfortable silence.

Nanami's love language leans towards acts of service, much like your own. He would likely show his affection through practical gestures, perhaps organizing your art supplies or upgrading your computer setup for gaming and streaming, appreciating how these things bring you joy.

With both of you valuing honesty, conversations would be refreshingly straightforward. Nanami's blunt nature complements your own directness, leading to a relationship grounded in trust and open communication.

Nanami def respects boundaries and personal time, aligning well with your need for space when overstimulated. He understands the importance of having time apart to engage in individual interests, which only strengthens your relationship.

He might not be the type to overtly celebrate every little achievement, but Nanami would make a point to acknowledge and celebrate milestones in your art career or personal projects, understanding the significance of these moments to you.

Nanami is the definition of stable, he is honestly someone you can rely on in your worst times. Trust him and he will trust you

True to his word, Nanami clocks out at six and keeps work at work, ensuring that your time together is undisturbed by outside responsibilities, which means uninterrupted date nights and more focused attention on each other. Probably says smth like “sorry gotta go see my girlfriend.” And just dips in the middle of a fight.

NANAMI IS A SERVICE DOM this is canon I’m sure.

I put his libido at a 6/10 which probably isn’t as high as yours (as you mentioned) but like I said he is a service dom so would definitely help you out

Definitely open to bondage

Hope you enjoyed!

MATCHUP RULES AND INFO

[liggy-not-potter]

⚪️🟡

i’m too lazy to type out the questions,

and for melinoe and ash

melinoe:

🟡- melinoe has two things for this. one, to be welcome in normal society, and to be able to sleep at night. she’s not welcome because her “curse” (same as ash’s) physically shows on her skin as really dark splotches all over. she tries using makeup a lot to cover it, but it’s too much of a hassle most the time, and nearly everyone in nearby cities has been warned about “the cursed girl who wanders in by night.” (she steals shit from dumpsters and trades with this one guy to provide for her camp) it really drains her to not be able to be in normal towns and cities because she wants a social life and she wants a job so she can like fully provide for camp.

idk if i mentioned or not but night terrors are also partly due to the curse and the events that led to her and ash being cursed, and there’s not really a therapist anywhere nearby :D

⚪️- soooo lil bit of lore time :D she and ash had been exploring a cave for supplies and stuff when they were both like 7, (middle of a mini war for her camp, that was much bigger at the time, about 10 smaller families lived there)(they were fighting maven’s village :D) they got caught and kidnapped by a bunch of strange magic creatures (still figuring bits of this out so bear with me if it doesn’t make sense) and they both tried to call out for help and fight back, but basically ash got knocked out and they got cursed first because mel warned them like half a second too late to duck. and then she kind of gave up and felt utterly helpless without someone fighting with her. (they got rescued, neither died, it’s FiNe, they just got some trauma)

ash:

🟡- ash wants to feel important. mel doesn’t really let them sneak off with her or hunt things with her because she doesn’t want them in another magical creature situation where she fails and they’re injured because of her. rune gets along really well with the younger teens and tweens in camp, and really likes cooking so he’s a big help with preparing meals and stuff. ash helps more than they think, especially with the littles. the result is ash feeling pretty decent about themself most the time, but having depressive moments (alone obvi, they’re the bubbly friendly character, they can’t act sad without visible reason in front of everyone else) where they think they’re absolutely useless and should go pitch themself off a cliff.

also ash has night terror issues too, forgot to mention that in the character rundown, but theirs aren’t as bad because they don’t remember most of what happened in the cave.

⚪️- maven walked in on them crying over something they thought was stupid. (not specifying, i’ve already spoiled so much lore especially if more people ask questions lmao) rune has (in what was supposed to be a brotherly way) made fun of them for crying over random stuff so they expected mockery from maven as well. not a chance bud, maven’s a bubbly, “never sad” character too, in a different way, but still understood what ash was going through

[martianbugsbunny]

OUAT Thoughts Pt.28--Episodes 14-15

I have watched through S3E15; spoilers DNI. Also, spoiler warning for anyone further behind than I am.

—I think Bae’s death might’ve destroyed me even more than Rumple’s death. I didn’t really believe Rumple would be killed permanently. This one I do believe. What’s the point of bringing Rumple back if he can’t be with his son anymore?

—Rumple finally gave up the dagger for Bae. How dare that be in the same episode as Bae’s death! It’s too tragic.

—Tryna be positive here…it’s pretty hard. There were a lot of things about these episodes I adored, but A) I’m too focused on crying over Bae to remember them well, and B) many of them were related to Bae and Rumple.

—In this episode, I noticed that Bae’s face just lights up when he smiles. He has the most gorgeous smile lines around his eyes.

—I totally believe in bi4bi Rumbelle. Rumple’s seemed a lil fruity to me (on vibes only) since, like, day one. Belle’s outfit in the fairytale world, particularly the vest, is enough to encourage this headcanon. And it’s my headcanon, so I can have it either way. *shrugs* *dabs*

—Emma wanting to keep Henry’s old memories from him forever is really selfish. He has—well, now, only one other parent—but he has other family members who miss him. It’s especially cruel to Regina to want Henry in the dark. And it’s also not fair to Henry, because that was his real life, and because he deserves to know that he has another mom, a good man for his (dead) father, two grandfathers, and a grandmother.

—Snow’s pregnancy clothes are super cute. She’s got this adorable pink jacket that I absolutely love.

—I firmly believe that all of our heroes have a single braincell between them, and that the Wicked Witch has stolen it already. They’re all acting exceptionally stupid right now. This random lady they’ve never met shows up, claiming to have been a friend of one of Snow’s friends, and just happens to be well-versed in being a midwife? How is that not s u s at all, especially with the Wicked Witch running around?

—I was just thinking about how sweet Hook and Bae’s relationship could be, and now I’ll never get to see it again. They did that on purpose.

—And now Rumple is back in his basement cage. He’s completely under the Wicked Witch’s control. And he has nothing to ruminate on but his son’s death. There is literally nothing good in his life.

—Regina’s caught on to Robin being her soulmate. I hope she can work out her complicated feelings about that and start something with him.

—Rumple did look *fine* when he was resurrected from that goo. Although, his resurrection is now part of emotional damage, so…I can’t help looking back on that with a truckload of salt.

—Seriously, this sucks. I can’t stand it.

—I don’t think it would be possible for me to hate the Wicked Witch any more than I already do. Also, I’m bummed that it looks like I won’t actually be seeing most of the other Oz characters.

—That fear shadow thingy was freaky as hell. The glitchy way it moved was hideous. But it’s also a fun little philosophical idea, I guess.

—Rapunzel’s dress and tiara were ridiculously gorgeous. So shimmery and fancy. Also, Rapunzel being brunette from the start is interesting, although it doesn’t seem her hair has any magic in it. I’m not quite sure how I feel about that part.

—Actually, her entire introduction was little weird. I would’ve expected it to be a slightly more important event than a side quest for Charming. On the other hand, that’s refreshing. It somewhat allays my fears that the more modern princesses are going to hog the spotlight. (Especially the Frozen princesses. They terrify me.)

—They really need to work on a memory restoration for Henry. Him not knowing Regina is hurting me. Also, the fact that he doesn’t believe in magic anymore is depressing.

—I can’t believe we went through all of that just for Baelfire to die. It’s so unfair.

—I want Regina to smoke that Witch. I will admit, I’m impressed that OUAT can make that green biddy into even a little bit of a serious threat, but I don’t believe for a second that she’s more powerful than Regina. —If Rumple is forced to kill someone I or he cares about, I might have to quit the show.

—It was pretty stupid of Emma to leave Rumple in the forest by himself. Maybe it wouldn’t do any good to bring him with, considering the Wicked Witch has his dagger, but leaving him there? Not the most intelligent move Emma’s ever made.

—Charming is also the dumbest man alive not to have realized Snow was pregnant—or at least the most oblivious.

—His guilt over having to send Emma away is a decent plot bit, though. That scene where he dreamed about teaching her to dance for her first ball was so sad. It makes sense, and it will no doubt make thing with the new baby a little bit tense, and I’m all here for that.

—I’ve reached the end of the post, and even though I’ve found some positives, I’m still not over Bae’s death. Parents shouldn’t have to watch their children die—that’s that, the end, period. Stuff like Bae’s death, or like Philip Hamilton’s death in Hamilton, is painful to watch.

—It took me forever, but I finally realized that Emma was also Cassidy Sharp in This Is Us (which is, by the way, possibly the best family drama I’ve other seen, other than OUAT). Don’t know what triggered the epiphany, but it happened.

[unknowncountrygirl]

Curse Breaker’s Gambit Ch.2

The weather outside was rubbish, and he found himself throwing a pity party in the great hall, his chess board set up in from of him.

A hand on his shoulder startled him but then he heard-

“Murphy?” Iris called his name, in such a sweet tone he felt his shoulders relax. She sat down across from him, “are you playing wizard chess... By yourself?” She asked him. His heart nearly sung her a song when he laid eyes on her. She looked well rested, and was wearing a dress. It was silly, but he knew that recently Iris had been sliding by and letting her feminine side hide under baggy clothing and dark colors. It was a olive green color, but it was better then the sweaters and sweat pants she had been in. She looked like she was blooming again and he felt ease overwhelm him.

“I'm running through some potential new strategies in my head. Afraid to say I've been doing that a lot lately. You've been busy and I haven't had a worthy opponent to play against, Iris.” He told her and she chuckled, picking up and moving a pawn. He felt himself smile as he moved his first piece.

“I've been the one in a glum mood, but now it seems like it's your turn. You're not acting like the fast talking, statistic slinging guy I know.” Pawn to D3.

“Well, now that you mention it... I am feeling 36.8% more glum than usual.” He told her honestly, moving his pawn to D6.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked him honestly, and he rested his head on the back of his hand, looking at her fondly.

“If there is one thing that always makes me feel better, it is talking.”

“Then tell me what's on your mind.”

“Well, I went into Diagon Alley, I had to replace my Transfiguration book.”

“Did Kneil get another one?” She asked laughing.

“Indeed he did,” he moved his knight to counter her rook. “Well, Flourish and Blotts is hosting a chess tournament.”

“That's sounds perfect! Why aren't you happy?”

“I want to sign up for the tournament, but I can't. It requires a team of people, not just one person.”

“That's it?” Iris asked, catching him off guard.

“That's it? This is a big deal, a huge deal! This isn't some old men sitting in the park kind of players! Celine Castillion is the top-ranked player in the Wizarding World and she will be there! She's the number one student player in the world! The world! They call her the 'Matagot of Wizard Chess', because she's such a beast when she competes!” While he couldn't read her thoughts, he almost swore he saw Iris's eyes grow dark at the infatuation he showed towards this other girl.

“I see.” She stamped her queen down on the board a little roughly. “Check.”

“I've been following her rise to stardom for years, and I'd give anything to see her play.”

“Then you should play.”

“I would if I could, but it would take a team of four people.”

“You and me, that's two, we're halfway there.” Iris told him as he quickly ducked out of her check. “We an form a chess team to represent Hogwarts.”

“Iris, that's brilliant! You would do that for me!”

“Of course.”

“Well, forming a top notch chess team will be more difficult than a Seeker trying to catch a Snitch in their sleeve! It's really sweet, but I know you have a lot going on right now, why go to such great lengths to help me, Iris?”

“I want to spend time with you.” His heart nearly soared when she told him that. “Life has been busy, and I think the distraction would be good. Plus, I can tell that this chess tournament is something really important to you.” She told him with a smile that seemed to light up her face. “This should be some quality bonding time together. The last time we spent one on one time together was... Well, depressing.”

He nodded, remembering it solemnly.

Rowans funeral had happened, and he had watched Iris stand at the front of the congregation of students, lacking any of her usual light. When it was over, the crowd disbursed into silence, heading back to their respective houses. He had tried to find Iris amid the forest of legs and students but lost her. Once in the Gryffindor tower, he was able to ask around and found out that she had went to meet with a few of the Professor's and Dumbledore. So he parked his wheelchair in front of the fire and waited.

He hand't cared how long he had to wait, someone was going to be there for Iris when she returned. He had watched Iris over the years bear the burden for everyone in her life, weather it had to do with the cursed Vaults, or Quidditch, and even getting pulled into matters that had nothing to do with her. Iris was there, she was the one everyone turned to when they needed help or a problem solved. It was her turn to have someone be there for her.

It was well past curfew when Iris finally stumbled through the Fat Lady portrait. Because it was so quiet, he could hear her quiet sobbing as she tried to catch her breath. He turned in his chair and saw her close the door behind her.

“Iris?” Watching her visibly jump because she thought everyone would be in bed made him feel worse about the whole situation. Everything about her face looked so ill fitting for her, everything was swollen, her eyes, her cheeks, even her lips. Her light blue eyes were bloodshot and had dark rings under them, making them appear sunken and sickly. He could see her fumbling with words but eventually just give up as her bottom lip began to quiver. He quickly rolled over towards her and when he was close, her legs gave out beneath her and she just toppled into his lap and began to wail. She was draped over his legs and gripped onto the bottom of his shirt and one of his pant-legs to keep herself fro falling completely to the floor.

Murphy blinked back his own tears, her grief broke his heart. He cradled the back of her head in his hand, while the other rubbed along her shoulder. She eventually tilted her head up and the two of them locked eyes, her chest heaved from gasping for air and she actually tried to speak.

“Murphy, I...”

“Shh. You don't need to explain anything to me or apologize for anything. I'm here, and this is the only place I want to be right now.” He assured her. There was relief across her face and she was able to push herself up enough to wrap her arms around his neck and shoulders. He pulled her legs up over the arm of his chair, and cradled her like a parent comforting their child.

“Well, I'm honored you want to spend what little free time you have with me.” He told her backing her King into a corner. “I'm happy o report that the feeling is 100.1% mutual. Let the McNully-Rosewood adventure commence. Check.”

“Where shall we begin, Murphy?”

“We have a lot of work to do before we'll be ready to take on Celine Castillion and her team at the tournament. Our first step though will be getting a Professor's permission.”

“Oh, I know! Professor McGonagall will be perfect! I know she loves wizard chess, because I played it with her during the Teacher Appreciation Celebration.”

“Yes!” He agreed excitedly. “McGonagall is a brilliant strategist and a wizard chess master in her own right, she'll be perfect!” He pounded his hands on the table, and watched as a twinkle returned to Iris's eyes.

“Then let's pay her a visit, and see if she'll give us permission to form a team!”

“Right now?”

“Right now!” Iris stood up and flicked her King over. “You have me in a check mate anyway.” She winked. The pair quickly packed up his chess set and headed out to the Transfiguration classroom.

[scooby1245]

I had a normal childhood. I grew up with supportive, loving parents that had a healthy relationship and were very attentive to spoiling me, making me feel loved. I grew up as an intelligent little goofball and loved to talk. I never felt like I was a nuisance or like I was disregarded in any way. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know why I’m like this. Suddenly talking takes so much effort. I put so much time and energy into trying to make other people happy and ignoring my problems. I’m fine throughout the day until night time comes when I’m alone with nothing but my own thoughts. Then suddenly, I feel like I can’t do anything right. Like I’ll never be good enough for any of the people I love and care about the most. I always end up doing something wrong that pushes them away. But it’s never on purpose. Sleeping has started to feel like a luxury that I don’t deserve. For a long time now, eating has felt like a chore that makes me miserable whenever I force myself to do so. Things that involve taking care of myself like showering, brushing my teeth, and even getting dressed in the morning, have begun to feel like things I don’t do for myself. It’s all a big scam to prevent people from noticing that something is wrong because I don’t want to be seen as a broken toy. Living in a society where I’m expected to get out of bed early in the morning and go socialize while maintaining good grades is exhausting. Mainly because I’ve never felt more out of place than when I was at school. Don’t get me wrong, I have friends, I just don’t think a single one of them would care if I told them how I was really feeling. It’s taxing to force myself to have a smile and act like a walking ball of energy, putting so much of myself into pretending like there’s nothing wrong.

Not to mention the fact that I care way too much. Not about what other people think but about making the only people that I genuinely care about the most feel loved. My biggest fear is having somebody that I love to feel the same things that I do every day. Out of all my thoughts, I think the most selfish one is loving people the way I want to be loved. I always place exaggeration on the importance of the little things. Like giving random gifts, sending unexpected affirmations of appreciation, giving tight hugs, giving constant reassurance, and flooding their ears with compliments.

It sounds ridiculous when I say it out loud because of the amount of effort I put into hiding how I feel, but it’s my most genuine thought; All I truly want is for someone to hug me and tell me, “I know you're tired, but I’m here, and everything is going be okay.”

I’ve never had any reason to, but since I was little, I’ve gradually built up a wall refusing to show vulnerability. Every time someone tries to console or comfort me, I start crying uncontrollably. I don’t know if it’s because I feel defeated that somebody saw through my wall or because I’ve craved that kind of attention for so long that when I receive it, I don’t know what to do with myself. My mother always encouraged me to allow myself to feel and talk about it. My father, on the other hand, always buried his own emotions. Sometimes I think I drifted more toward how he dealt with emotions because I so desperately craved his approval my entire life. I wanted to be more like him and have something in common with him.

Ultimately, my biggest fault is possessing the mindset that I have to disregard what I need in order to be loved or cared for. Nobody wants to be around someone who’s too sad or a little depressed because we’re labeled as “draining”. My need for love exceeds my need for help.

[lifewiththelulus]

Atlantis just don't got any luck

Imagine her bursting through the bakery doors in tears and being like "CIRRUS KINDLIN IM SO STUPID IM LIKE, THE DUMBEST PUDDLE-"

Kindlin: You really gotta start being more careful Atlantis: WOW HELPFUL THANK YOU

She's being super cranky lol

Cirrus giving the “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look at her

She's super ashamed it happened again and begs them not to tell anyone yet Not even Reef She says she's gotta do something important before he finds out but really she had no idea what she's gonna do about it

Reef noticing her acting more distant and starts to fall into depression.

She probably makes up some excuse like she's gotta work late a lot

He’d try to be sympathetic since he knows what it’s like to have to work extra hours. But it doesn’t stop the loneliness from getting to him.

Him getting a call one day from Kindlin because Atlantis in the hospital She was hanging out in the bakery when she started complaining about some chest pain and they took her to the hospital

When he shows up Kindlin leaves them alone in the room because while he was on his way she sternly told Atlantis she needed to tell him. Atlantis was just about to open her mouth to say it, when the doctor walked in "Everything seems to be fine, just drink more water, stay away from the caffeine and alcohol, it's not good for the baby."

Atlantis: 😶

Reef: …Baby?

Reef: You…you said you were safe that day.

Atlantis: I thought I was! Reef I - I'm so sorry-

Reef has to sit down for a minute to keep himself from freaking out. After a few minutes of silence. Reef: Out of all thing to keep secret from me, why this?

Atlantis held her tears back until he asked that. Atlantis: I…. I wasn't ready for you to leave. I couldn't watch you leave..

She wouldn't look at him and just continued to let tears fall onto her hospital gown.

Atlantis: But I understand if you do…

Reef is horrified of the thought of having a kid, he can barely save up enough money for him and Gulf and knows nothing about handling infants. But… Reef: I’m not leaving you Atlantis, not when you need someone now more than ever!

Atlantis looks up at him, years in her eyes. Atlantis: You… You aren't leaving? She sounded genuinely confused Atlantis: B-But you need to take care of Gulf, and I've been through this before - She had ingrained into her mind the idea he wouldn't possibly stay, not after what she went through with Drake.

Reef: (sigh) Yeah I do and I will, I don’t know how but, I’ll take care of him and you and your girls AND the baby! My…. My dad left my mom when she told him she was pregnant with me, I’ve seen her struggle raising me alone, but she still did it, what’s more, when she took in Gulf she did twice as much work to keep us all going. We were always thankful for it… even when she exhausted herself to death. And the idea of me putting you through that I… I couldn’t!

Atlantis took his hand and intertwined their fingers gently. Atlantis: "It wouldn't be my first time down that road… I guess that's why I was afraid of you leaving…" She looks down and sighs then kisses his hand. "We'll do this together. I….. I love you Reef. If there's anyone I would want this to happen with, it's you. You make me… feel something I haven't felt before. With anyone. "

[monstergoblin]

The Owl Pirates Chapter Two

First Chapter Tumblr Link HERE

Posted First On A03 Here 

It’ll be updated on A03 first and might take me a bit to get to updating it here as I always seem to forget about my tumblr. <3 At this point in time the A03 has 5 chapters posted

 Summary: 

      First days are hard

Trigger Warnings Always read safe: Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Pushing down feelings, Overworking self to ignore feelings, Child Abuse (Belos is a bitch okay), Gaslighting, Self Gaslighting, Manipulation, Injuries

Notes: I want to say one more time Hunter is going to have thoughts of killing himself these first few chapters. He is very expresso depresso 

                      Chapter 2: The Empty Shell of an Ex-Navy Boy

He was awfully quiet. Luz had been expecting him to fight, yell and possibly cause problems. Liliith had said he would, had called him a spoiled brat who would obey Belos’ orders to death. So why was this boy so ghost-like?

   She was told to stay by his side, to be his welcoming of sorts. Luz of course jumped at the chance. She wasn’t going to miss the opportunity to learn about the mysterious stranger who had been found in the water. Even if he was rude she was so ready to break open that shell and learn about his past.

   Yet, he didn’t talk. At least not yet. They only sat in the medbay for what felt like hours before Luz asked him if he wanted to walk around. He acted like he couldn’t even hear her, so she finally dragged him to his feet. Some fresh air always helped her. 

   Even walking around the deck as Luz introduced him to some of the crew, Hunter just quietly followed. As if on instinct. 

   “So mysterious navy boy, “ A nickname Luz had started about twenty minutes ago, “You met Eda, Steve, Gus and Matt.” She listed on her fingers. “Did anyone catch your eye to talk to? I can introduce you to Willow, Or King or Amity- “

   “What about me!” A loud annoying voice came from above from Hooty who was perching on the ropes. He was watching them with big eager eyes.

   “Of course I wouldn’t forget you Hooty.” Luz put her hands on her hips looking up at the brown owl. “This is our cursed owl Hooty!”

   “I’m actually a cursed human!” Hooty remarked in a playful joking voice.

   “Oh right of course you are Hooty.” Luz waved her hand dismissing it. “It's fun to scare people with him, but he doesn’t really do much around the ship.”

   “I do lots around the ship!” The owl screeched.

   Luz had stopped looking at Hooty to check on the blonde boy. Hunter was just blankly staring at Hooty. He didn’t care- of course he didn't care- but Luz was hoping someone would get Hunter's attention. Possibly get him to open up, but it only seemed to make him look more tired.

   Maybe she needed a different approach.

   “Hey” She reached out to put her hand on Hunters shoulder but he flinched slightly making her pause. The only reaction he had, and it was fear. Of course it was fear. He was a navy boy on a pirate ship.

   “Why don’t we do something fun instead?” Luz offered putting her hand on her hip instead of his shoulder.  “I can show you the crows nest, it’s where I usually hang out.”

   She led him to the ladder even though Hunter didn’t respond. She didn’t know if he was going to follow her up the ladder, but he did. It wasn’t as high as the ropes led but Luz loved the feeling of the pure air up here. She scooched and helped Hunter up out of the Ladder before both resting at the top.

   It was refreshing to be up here. She enjoyed it. Though that wasn’t important right now. Hunter was only sitting next to her, he had taken to huddling his legs close to him while leaning against the mast. Only staring down at the ship below.

   He seemed miserable. No matter what Luz did.

   “It’s nice up here, quiet.” Luz commented letting her legs dangle through the railings openings. “It's one of my favorite places to escape to. If you ever need to hide from the others this is a nice place to do it. “

   Hunter didn’t react to anything she said.

   “Hey,” Luz went to pat him on the shoulder again, this time slowly so as to not alarm him. Which seemed to be better, he still tensed under her touch. “Whatever happened to you, we just want to help.”

   He was stiff now under Luzs hand, so she decided to take it away, but he didn’t relax. It was like Luz wasn’t even talking to him- because he probably didn’t want to hear it.

   “I can leave you up here alone for a bit if you need.” Luz suggested. “I’ll wait at the bottom so you don't get in trouble. If you want?”

   No reaction.

   “Did you lose your whole ship?” Luz pried. “Was it a storm? That happens on the sea. It's not good to bottle those feelings up and I heard it's easier to talk to strangers about your problems anyway.”

   Still nothing, Luz was giving up bringing one of her own legs up as to rest her arms and chin on it. Maybe he just needed some silence. Comforting someone who didn’t seem to want comfort was hard.

   “Lilith.” It was almost a whisper how quiet it was. 

   Luz snapped her head back to Hunter who now seemed more- awake. He was sitting more upright and his eyes were wide in shock as his gaze was locked on Lilith who was leaning against the side of the ship talking to someone out of Luz’s view.

   “Oh yeah, I forgot she was in the navy once.” Luz said. “Do you know her?” 

   Maybe that was the key to having Hunter open up better.

   “What's she doing here?” Hunter's voice was higher pitched than Luz had imagined. “Are the rumors true? Did she betray Belos for her sister?”

   “Well yeah who doesn’t want to betray Belos?” Luz let out a chuckle

-----------------------------------------------

   She wasn’t supposed to be here. She died four months ago according to the records. Her crew saw her die. The reports say that they had gone out to scout and island. Her and two others were on the dandy that had gone down. A misjudgment of tides, -no it wasn’t a mistake. It was a set up. She never died- she left on purpose.

   She’s a traitor- a monster- a pirate. Hunter had been right when they captured Eda so long ago and she just escaped without reason. Lilith had been behind it. It wasn’t Hunters fault alone. There was a traitor as he suspected.

   He should capture her- take her to Belos-

   “He was the one who ordered your death.” Terras words haunt his head.

   Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Terra was also a traitor- but she was so loyal to Belos. She always was.

   That familiar burn in the back of his throat was back. He’d managed to get it to disappear for a bit. He tensed, unsure what to do now.

   “Hunter?” The girl’s voice was soft.

   “What” Hunter snapped his voice cracking. He had meant to sound more intimidating than that.

   “Do you want to meet Lilith?” Luz asked. 

   Hunter didn’t want to face Luz. If he looked at the girl now he wasn’t sure he could keep the composer. He was tired of this, he didn’t know what to do. He was supposed to be dead.

   Belos wanted him dead.

   “No” Talking was harder than he anticipated. His eyes were starting to leak again, he thought he had it under control.

   “It might be nice to talk to a familiar face-” Luz tried.

   “No” Hunter stated again, curling back in on himself. He didn’t want to talk to her- He didn’t know what to think of her. She was a traitor but Hunter wasn’t sure bringing her back would be enough for Belos to accept him again. What had he even done wrong?

   “Okay.” Luz accepted defeat. “I’m just going to wait at the bottom of the ladder then. Whenever you’re ready you can come down and I’ll introduce you to the rest of the crew.”

   Then he was alone, up above the rest of the ship. Nothing but harsh wind beating against him. Reminding him, he was indeed human and it was getting awfully cold. He didn’t know how long he could stay up here, but he didn’t want to move.

   He was supposed to be dead.

   Belos wanted him dead.

   So why wasn’t he dead?

   “He was the one who ordered your death.” Terras voice was haunting. He knew Belos got mad at him, but would he really want him dead. Hunter had been on his best behavior, and sure he screwed up, but he was always rightfully punished and he thought he had made it up to Belos. He thought Belos was becoming proud of him. That’s why he put him on Terras ship wasn’t it? Or was it really to have him executed outside the public eye.

   It wasn’t unusual. Belos had two types of executions, One to make an example of and the ones done out in sea, where no one witnessed as to not cause more chaos. As to not cause terror. Did Hunter do something to betray Belos? He hadn’t meant to.

   Terra wasn’t a traitor though. If she said Belos ordered it, Belos ordered it. She was alot of things but a liar wasn’t one of them.

   Belos wanted his own nephew dead.

---------------------

   While she stood at the bottom waiting for Hunter several crewmates asked her about Hunter. It was only natural they were curious. She is too, but he didn't want to talk and it could be overwhelming to meet everyone right away. 

   He’s been crying up there for hours now. It was an eerie quiet cry, only shakey inhales, and occasionally wiping his nose. She told him she was going to give him space but she didn’t realize it was going to be so long. She didn’t want to bug him but he didn’t have a coat on and the clouds were hinting at rain. 

   Luz was going to have to go back up there and fetch him, or at the very least lend him something warm. She didn’t think the storm would be bad, but it would be better safe than sorry. Even if she wanted to allow Hunter his peace for a bit.

   Afterall he seemed to be dealing with a lot. Maybe he was upset about being on a pirate ship, or maybe being the nephew of an evil man was just exhausting. Whatever it was Luz had a feeling she shouldn’t bug Hunter on it too much. She was only making it worse it seemed.

   “Hey.” She called as she reached the top of the crows nest again. Hunter didn’t bother turning to her. “Hey,” She repeated pulling herself up off the ladder to sit besides him. “Storms coming shouldn't be scary but you need to get down now.”

   Hunter took a shaky breath not daring to face her.

   “Look, I know you’re not done.” Luz sighed out. “I’m not going to pretend I know how to fix whatever you’re dealing with, nor do I even know what you’re upset about.” She shrugged. “don’t know if you even want my help right now, but I’m not letting you get sick and die up here.” She declared offering her hand to him.

   He didn’t instantly take it, even avoided looking at her, but Luz kept it out patiently. It was when the boy realized Luz was going to be stubborn that he took her hand and let her pull him gently towards the ladder.

   Hunter reached the bottom first because Luz wasn’t about to chance him, waiting for her to leave but staying up top. He held himself in a stiff posture as he waited. Luz couldn’t help but pity him as he still was avoiding eye contact and the tears were still slowly leaking.

   He’s been crying off and on nearly the whole day- how did he still have tears.

   “You might get talked to.” Luz warned. “But I bet Steve will let you hide in medbay for a bit again.” She offered.

   Hunter didn’t seem to care.

   “Matt might get annoying, but he shouldn’t bug you until you calm down. Don’t take anything he says to heart, he wants to be cool but he’s still learning who he is. Besides, if he does get too annoying you can just tell Steve. Matt wont admit it but he admires his brother very much.” Luz kinda felt like she was talking too much but it was better than the silence. “I was told to watch you, so I have to stick around.” She gave a smile to Hunter who looked far more interested in the floor.

   Luz held the door of the medbay open for Hunter who immediately went to the bed without so much as a glance to Steve who was sitting at the desk reading a book. 

   “Care if he stays in here a bit?” Luz asked, though she knew the answer and was already walking out as Stever gave a shrug of his shoulders in his casual carefree way. 

   When the boy first woke up this morning Luz had been excited, ready to meet him, ready to help, but she still didn’t really get to meet Hunter. He wasn’t really here, he was lost in his own head. It wasn’t something Luz knew how to fix.

   She stayed outside the medbay in case Hunter did decide he wanted to walk around, but she didn’t think he would. Even if that was the case Steve knew better than to leave a newcomer alone anyway. So, she didn’t really know why she stayed outside.

   “Luz?” A familiar sweet voice came.

   “Amity!” Luz jumped, turning to the purple haired girl. She wore her usual pretty gems around her neck and small hoop earrings. “What- What are you doing out here? Do you need Steve? I can get Steve.”

   “Luz calm down.” Amity chuckled. “I came from below deck.” Amity pointed to the door of the stairs across the way of the medbay. Of course, Luz must’ve not been paying much attention. The pretty ex-merchant daughter always seemed to catch her off guard.

   “Oh.” Luz replied stupidly, feeling the heat building around her cheeks.

   “I heard Eda put you in charge of him.” Amity leaned on the opposite wall Luz was sitting against. “Seems to be a theme.” Amity was referring to when she and her family first joined the crew. Her mother was in charge of a big ship that she used to sell to everyone, pirates, navy or anyone else with coin. Eda had stolen something from Odalia, which is how Amity and Luz first met. Now they were possibly friends. 

   “Better to introduce the newcomers to the loud one first right. I overwhelm them then the rest of the crew seems like a cakewalk.” Luz joked back. 

   Amity let out a small chuckle “I think she knows how friendly and accepting you are.” 

   Luz's face was feeling hot, hopefully that wasn’t visible. “Or I’m just Edas favorite.” She gave a cheesy smile.

   Amity smiled and copied Luz’s pose of criss cross on the floor. “Is he still crying?” She whispered, eyeing the door to medbay.

   “Yeah off and on. I kinda wish he just wanted to kill me like you did.” Luz smiled. 

   “I thought we were past that.” 

   “What was it you called me? Sea rat?”  Luz teased and Amity rolled her eyes. It was nice to remember how much Amity has changed already. Remembering those rough beginnings made it easier to have faith that Hunter would get adjusted to. He didn’t seem like a bad guy, just a kid like her. “Who told you he wouldn’t stop crying?”

   “ I overheard Gus talking to Perry. ” Amity shrugged. “Not like it would’ve stayed a secret long anyway, word travels fast on this ship.”

   “I don’t know how to help him.” Luz looked at the medbay door. 

   “Hey he’s only been awake a day, don’t worry too much. He’ll get better.”

   “Yeah, it's just different from everyone else. You fought me- alot. Lillith, Steve and Matt all joined willingly, but he is just here. “ Luz pointed out. “I’ve never met someone so upset.”

   Amity kept smiling at Luz, meeting her eyes. “You don’t even know him and you’re so worried. Eda’s right to have you watch him. “

   “Mama said I’d do great too.” Luz sighed, taking off her bandana to ruffle through her hair. “I kinda wish she was against it like when you joined and I insisted on talking to you. Now it feels like there’s pressure.”

   “You’re only the welcoming party. You’re not to fix him, you’re just here to make sure if he does plan anything, someone sees.” Amity pointed out, she paused for a second before reaching her hand out to grab Luzs. “No one expects you to do anything. Just watch him.” 

   Amity was holding her hand. Sure, it wasn’t a romantic way- it was a reassuring friendship way. Luz did that to Amity before when they stood against Odalia. So why did this feel different? Was it because of her silly crush- or?

   The medbay door swung open causing Luz to jump away from Amity and turn to the door. Steve came out, closing the door quickly behind him. 

   “He’s still in there.” Steve commented. “I’m going to grab him some food.”

   Right Hunter hadn’t eaten for a while. Luz didn’t consider that.

   “Ah- Okay.” Luz responded by jumping to her feet. “I’ll go in there.”

   Steve gave a shrug, “Doesn’t matter, he’s not doing anything. Keep talking to your girlfriend.”

   Luz’s face was burning before now she felt on fire.

   “We’re not- She’s not-” Luz stuttered. 

   “Whatever.” Steve smirked walking away. 

   There was an awkward silence as Steve left the two girls alone. Why did he have to tease? He made it weird.

   “Well- I gotta go, dad wanted me to fetch something for him.” Amity nervously held her arm as she got up.

   “Yeah- no - I need to watch Hunter- so you know.” Luz smiled sheepishly before retreating into the medbay.

   She held herself against the closed door for a few seconds regretting everything that just happened. Amity was so cool and she was lucky to be her friend. Why was she so painfully obvious with her crush that even Steve knew to tease her. She needed to get over this- If Amity found out- it would make things weird- it would be weird- right?

   Her thoughts stopped when she finally registered the room before her. The medbay was cleaner now. Steve had organized and put things away, he wasn’t particularly the most tidy person but when it came to important things he stepped up.

   Her eyes naturally went to the beds first to see Hunter, but they were made and empty. The blonde boy was actually standing next to the desk eyeing the things on it. His back was facing her as he stared at the desk. 

   Luz was quiet as she approached, she didn’t want to startle him but she wanted to see what he was so fixated on. She peeked around him to see where his eyes were staring. They were wide like he was scared. He wasn’t shaking but he was barely breathing. Luz followed his gaze back to the table where a small knife was laying.

   He was scared of the knife? 

   No, that wasn’t it.

   Navys had rash decisions forced into them.

   “Hey,” She didn’t mean to make him jump but he did, for once showing emotion. Wide eyes staring at her like she was a ghost. “The knife can’t hurt you alone.”

   He paused, turning back to it. 

   “I think it’s time I introduced you to my mom.” Luz grabbed Hunters wrist and brought him away from the desk. “You’ll like her.”

3RD Chapter Tumbler Link

[whoneedsapublisher]

A Tidy Mind

NozoHono with the prompt word "Cattywumpus" which I had never heard of before but apparently is real slang.

Words: ~700

Summary: A tidy house makes a tidy mind… right? Nozomi certainly seems to hope so, but Honoka isn't sure it works that way.

Also on Ao3

***********************

Over time, Honoka had gotten better at telling when Nozomi wasn’t doing well.

At first, she’d been nearly completely unable to work it out. Nozomi had an extremely powerful poker face, and no matter how wretchedly depressed she was feeling, she could always manage to smile and tease and laugh.

The first time she found out about it was from Nico.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Nico had snapped when she opened her door.

“Um, you invited me over?” Honoka had said, baffled. “Last week?”

“This isn’t that important! What kind of girlfriend are you, showing up to a group watch when Nozomi’s in such a bad funk?”

“What are you talking about?” Honoka had said, even more confused. “Nozomi is fine. We talked just this morning.”

“Oh for-” Nico had rubbed her temples, acting like she was dealing with a stupid child. “Look. She’s just trying to put on a strong face, okay? Just go over to her house, bring some comfort food and say you want to talk. She’ll probably break down and tell you everything. Now get out of here.”

With that, Nico had slammed the door in Honoka’s face, leaving with her no other option.

And, to her shock, Nico had been completely right.

Honoka had sat at Nozomi’s kitchen table, with the fought she’d brought between them, listening in absolute horror and anguish as Nozomi bawled about how she’d bad been feeling. For weeks. And the whole time, Honoka hadn’t noticed a thing. Had thought Nozomi was the same cheerful, playful woman she’d always seemed like.

From that day on, Honoka had resolved that she wouldn’t ever let that happen again. And failed spectacularly, as the next time it took Honoka almost as long to catch on, and she’d noticed from reading Nico’s irritation more than Nozomi’s sadness.

But over the last two years she’d gotten better at it. And now, one look at Nozomi’s apartment told her everything she needed to know.

“Nozomi,” she said, as Nozomi hummed to herself while putting away her coat. “What’s wrong?”

Nozomi stiffened, her humming cutting off instantly.

Nozomi’s poker face was good, but she always faltered when she was confronted directly. According to Nico, it was because she didn’t really want to hide it in the first place. She wanted to be seen through, but she was too good at hiding for her own good. And so, also according to Nico, her girlfriend just had to get really good at seeking.

“What do you mean?” Nozomi said.

And so Honoka had gotten as good at seeking as she could. And she’d found that Nozomi had a tell.

Normally, her apartment was a little messy. Not a trainwreck, or anything, but… lived in. A jacket over a chair here, a magazine left open on a counter there, an empty glass on a coaster somewhere else.

But when she was most stressed out, all that vanished. Her house started looking like a showcase piece, sparkling clean with not a single hair out of place.

“Nozomi….” Honoka said. “I already told you, you don’t have to hide it from me.”

“...I appreciate it, I really do,” Nozomi said. “But isn’t it more fun if I just don’t say anything? There’s no reason for both of us to be sad, is there? I’m just being silly, there’s no reason for me to ruin our date with something like that.”

Honoka let out an exasperated sigh.

“Nozomi…” she whined.

“It really isn’t anything big, I promise,” Nozomi said.

“But it’s bothering you,” Honoka said. “I don’t care about you being a downer. If you’re not okay, I want to help. Can’t I help? Please?”

Nozomi crumpled before Honoka’s puppy dog eyes in an instant.

Frankly, Nozomi was sort of right. It wasn’t really much fun to talk about how Nozomi had been feeling awful and unappreciated at work, and how much it had been weighing on her. It made Honoka sad, and a little angry at Nozomi’s co-workers.

But Honoka would pick making Nozomi feel better over having fun any day. And the little shy smile, peeking out from under the tears, that Nozomi showed her when she was starting to feel better… that made it all worth it.

[zivazivc]

Pinocchio AU

Okay people want the explanation for this comic so here it goes. It’s long and complicated and MESSED UP because of course it is, this is me. I’m going to write in points because my small tired brain can’t handle good english atm but basically to sum up the Adrien was a sentimonster theory or Pinocchio AU as I like to call it:

Young married Emilie and Gabriel can’t have kids. Gabriel reluctantly accepts this fate and even brings up adoption as a possibility once, but Emilie doesn’t want to hear any of that. She’s a bit of a Marinette in the sense that she pictures this romanticized ideal life for herself and a child—her flesh and blood—HAS to be in it.

They keep trying to get a baby while other young families Emilie knows keep growing. She feels left out and hurt and depressed, then her newlywed twin sister announces she’s expecting a baby too and something within Emilie just unhinges.

She eventually lies to some of her friends, who she was out for coffee with, that she’s pregnant too. She mostly does it just to see their reaction and feel what it would be like but it quickly spirals out of control where she just starts pretending she’s pregnant until you can’t even tell if she believes it herself.

Gabriel is confused at first because he hears the news second hand (a friend/family member congratulating him) so he’s apprehensive when he approaches his wife but she convinces him that they really are getting a baby and Gabriel is ecstatic.

It’s only later at a doctor’s check up that Gabriel learns that she indeed is not pregnant. The doctor even speaks to him alone explaining that his wife is in denial and that he should make sure she goes to see a psychiatrist, something she definitely wouldn’t do alone.

Gabriel is unsuccessful with that because he’s not entirely persistent, doesn’t want to be the guy with the crazy wife having to tell everyone she lied about being pregnant, and hopelessly believes she’ll just get over it eventually.

That is until her “pregnancy is near due”—her sister already had Félix in England a few months ago—and he stumbles on her transformed with her peacock miraculous (they already have both of them) creating a sentimonster newborn.

They have a huge fight about it but because Emilie refuses to destroy it, won’t tell Gabriel where the amok is, and Gabriel can’t just hurt the baby with his hands, Emilie just… wins. Fucked up, yeah?

Now she tried creating kids before this one, using her imagination to try and blend her and Gabriel’s looks but it just wasn’t working. So she decided to copy of photos of baby Félix because he already looked almost like a copy of his mother, and Amélie and Emilie already looked alike so it’s not so weird?—is what her mind was telling her.

She didn’t dare alter his looks but she decided to give the baby Gabriel’s eye color to include the “father” in some way. (Yes in that comic I made I gave Adrien a mix of green and gray but that was mainly to get the point across to the perceptive readers)

Now we got Adrien, a normal baby boy to the whole world except for Gabriel who’s forced into his wife’s fantasy through social expectations.

Why are we only at this point and this post is already so long AAAAAAAA!!!

Adrien physically basically grows in a way where Emilie just keeps changing his appearance to match what Félix looked like a few months prior.

Mentally he’s like a robot just taking in information without really needing to learn it. So Emilie decides when he says his first word, she decides when he learns to walk,… He knows how to walk, he just wasn’t given the command to do so yet.

But even so he does develop a personality over time, just slower, because unlike a normal child who’s always testing his boundaries, how far they’re allowed to go until they’re in real trouble, Adrien just can’t misbehave. At all.

But he does have his favorite foods and favorite toys, and jokes that make him laugh the most. The problem is just that Emilie could just decide that his favorite food is strawberries and he’d just start acting accordingly, rewiring his belief. 

He also isn’t allowed to argue or be mean to others which is why Félix thinks he’s a goody two-shoes weirdo while Chloé the brat adores him.

This behavior isn’t so hard to hide with a toddler who’s fickle but it’s harder and harder as the kid grows. Which is why the family becomes very secluded over time.

Gabriel always keeps distance with his “son”. He’s not Dad, he’s Father, he doesn’t do hugs and cuddles, he doesn’t say I love you. But Adrien knows he loves him because his mom told him so and he loves him back unconditionally because Mom said that’s what families do.

Now even though Gabriel is traumatized by this whole ordeal and knowing Adrien “isn’t real” freaks him out he does soften a bit over time. I’m going to give an awful example but like someone who hates cats softening for a cat that their partner/roommate decided to get/had from before. Continuing with this example: But still becoming appalled when the cat starts acting odd/unusually.

Okay I think you get the gist. Let’s move on…

Emilie loves her son more and more as he grows and his sentimonster behaviours start bothering her more and more too. She hates being reminded that he’s not a real boy by people mentioning he looks young for his age because Emilie forgot to make him grow for a while. She hates when he does everything like he’s told. She hates that he has no real friends because they’re afraid to expose him to the outside too much and without supervision. She hates to think about his future.

Her desire for him to be real keeps growing and is what drives her to search for a solution in the miraculous spellbook.

She cracks the script after years, when Adrien is nearly a teen, and finds a way to transfer the creators soul into a sentimonster.

It’s a long process that takes time and while she falls ill to everyone around her, Adrien becomes more real.

Gabriel starts realizing what’s happening when he notices Adrien hesitate for a second when he’s playing a video game and Gabriel wants him to do something, groan when he gets bothered watching TV, huff, complain, have slightly opposing opinions to his and Emilie’s, when he argues with his mother when she tells him she’s feeling fine; when he notices his son’s eyes are greener. Or is it all in his head?

He confronts his wife too late, when she’s extremely ill already, her normally vibrant eyes dulled match Adrien’s bluish gray, and he pieces together in his head what she’s doing.

Before Gabriel could properly think what to do to stop the love of his life from turning into a lifeless doll, in a fit of panic he tries to take her wedding band (where he knows Adrien’s amok is) to get rid of Adrien instead, but is unsuccessful in getting it off her so he snatches her peacock brooch instead (which she needs to complete the spell obvs) and breaks it. (Heyoo! broken peacock miraculous. things are coming together)

Because the spell was almost complete anyway it’s Emilie who falls unconscious. But she doesn’t disappear because she’s not a real sentimonster, she just becomes dormant like one.

This is the point in the story where Gabriel makes it seem like Emilie ran away or something like that—basically disappear. Now he’s living knowing he has an almost sentimonster wife in the basement, knowing he almost killed his son (or her), and having to care for a son that suddenly became much more alive, questioning, arguing, angry, screaming, not accepting, crying, grieving, staring at him with Emilie’s eyes.

Instead of becoming a real parent, Gabriel shuts him out.

Soon Adrien evolves desires for socializing, company, getting away from the suffocating home which eventually leads to him going to a public school.

He slowly starts to live life freely without the restrictions that were put around his thoughts.

Gabriel has an even stranger relationship with Adrien now because he still loves him in a way but also holds resentment toward him. But mostly he sees him as something valuable.

The show happens here…  And now finally we get to the comic…

Gabriel gets a hold of the ladybug and black cat miraculouses. (There’s no epic fight in his lair as you see there’s no Ladybug in the comic but that’s not really important)

What’s important is that Gabriel had deciphered the miraculous spellbook with the help of Emilie’s notes and had decided to use the unification’s “wish” power to awaken Emilie.

He’s aware he’ll need to sacrifice something for the wish to come true and he’s certain Adrien should be enough because the soul inside him is literally the one thing Emilie is missing.

✨Adrien (poor boy just lost his miraculous) is taken to Gabriel’s lair, where he finds out his father is Hawk Moth, sees his mother, learns he’s a sentimonster, and that he’s going to become a sacrifice ✨

Of course the last part is not what happens. It’s Gabriel who ends up being sacrificed.

I can’t decide if Gabriel ends up sacrificing himself because he changed his mind in the last moment while Adrien was screaming for him to stop, OR  because he didn’t love Adrien enough for him to be considered an equal exchange for his wife… O.O

But anyhow…

Emilie wakes up with Gabriel’s soul within her (hence the bluish gray eyes in the comic).

Adrien is traumatized for life.

This took me hours to write… I knew there was a reason why I didn’t want to do it. I hope I didn’t forget anything and my brain made sense of it all

Well there you have it, peeps. The Pinocchio AU. It’s as messed up as my sleep schedule. Good night. 

[9tzuyu]

slipping lately

request:

+ "don't lie, your dimple usually shows when you're actually smiling. what's wrong?" & drawing on nat’s back.

warnings: talks depression, poor self care. not proofread but i didn’t give moli a chance sorry moli :3 mistakes are mine.

note: this didn’t exactly turn out the way i wanted it to, but oh well. i’m so sorry if you don’t like this bc tbh its not my fav work of mine :( 

+ also i think something has been similarly written with painting on nat back, so whoever wrote that i’m not trying to steal your idea!! i just thought the idea was a cute one :p

🏷: @c-is-writing ‹3

. . .

winter months were always hard for you. the weather was cold, the sky was grey, and the air around you was crisp, unforgiving almost.

everything was dim, lifeless it seemed. and it was no surprise when you found yourself unable to get out of bed. nothing seemed important enough to handle, even the small things like showering or eating or changing your sheets. it was too much. 

things didn’t improve much knowing natasha wouldn’t be back for another few weeks. she was a thousand miles away with minimal contact and you didn’t want to bother her when you were finally able to call her.

but things were tough, you could hardly eat, get up to shower, wash your clothes, or do anything else that involved you having to leave your bed. the others took notice, but you were quick to brush them off with a gentle reassurance. no one believed you though, and it was up to wanda to send natasha a message about what was going on. 

another two weeks went by before you were finally in natasha’s arms again. she greeted you with a kiss to the forehead, mumbling how much she missed you. 

you tried to keep your act up around her, making attempts to fix her breakfast or do her laundry for her. but natasha could see right through you, just as everyone else did. 

“baby?” she called out, snapping your attention away from your thoughts. 

“yeah?”

“think you could turn around and face me? i know how much you like kisses while we snuggle anyway.” natasha could tell you were hesitant, but didn’t comment on it. 

you nodded, turning your body to face her, burying your face between the crook of her neck. 

“i think we should talk about what’s going on. don’t worry, i’m not going anywhere.”

you wracked your brain for any excuse you had because even though you knew natasha knew, you weren’t going to give in at the snap of a finger. 

“i’m okay, natty. i just missed you is all.” you plastered on your best smile.

she pursed her lips, “don’t lie, your dimple usually shows when you’re actually smiling. what’s wrong?”

“i just missed you, that’s it.” you tried again. 

“i don’t think that’s what’s really going on here baby. you can tell me anything, you know.” natasha pushed once more.

“nothing’s going on. whatever anyone told you has got it messed up.” she quirked her eyebrow, “oh really now?” 

“i’m okay, nat.”

“no you aren’t. let me help you, talk to me sweetheart.” her lips kissed the top of your head for the third time that night. you bit the inside of your cheek, nuzzling your face under her chin. should you tell her? or should you not? 

and finally you caved.

"i'm just so tired, nat."

"of what?”

"everything. my mind is a mess right now and i don't know how to make it stop." the sound of your voice pinched a hole in natasha's heart. she placed a small kiss to your cheek, "i'm sorry baby."

 "s'okay." you mumbled.

“how have you been taking care of yourself while i was gone? be honest with me please.” she pleaded, but all you could do was shrug. 

“how’s your eating been?”

“not great, i’m sorry.” your lip quivered. “hey, no, don’t apologize. what can i do to help?” you thought about it for a moment before something finally came to mind. 

“would you be willing to do something kinda.. i don’t know, weird?”

“what’s that, sweetheart?” she smiled.

“can i draw on your back?”

another kiss was placed to your head.

“of course. no dicks, okay? you know i’m a lesbian.” natasha giggled, letting you crawl out from her death grip around your body.

“i promise natty.” 

you rushed to get the washable markers hidden under your nightstand, giving natasha a sheepish smile when you noticed her watching you. 

“you like to color?” she teased, flashing you her signature smirk.

“sometimes...”

natasha took off her shirt and unclipped her bra, tossing them to the side of your shared bed and laid flat on her stomach. not a minute later she felt the weight of your hips against her back and the tips of your markers drawing line after line against her skin.

she let out a small giggle after the first few strokes, commenting on the fact that it tickled her back. 

“what are you drawing anyway?” your lips met her shoulder blade, “it’s a surprise.”

another twenty or so minutes went by and you were done. however, when you went to check on natasha she was already fast asleep. you quickly snapped a picture of her back to show her the next morning before quietly putting away your supplies. 

a part of you felt better, but there was definitely a long way to go. one night of using a coping skill wasn’t going to fix you, but with natasha’s help you knew you’d be able to pull yourself out of it.

[kass-storycorner]

Mentally I’m getting worse again (tho I try to do all the stuff I learned from two years in therapy to … prevent it from getting bad bad ), so I’ve only been thinking about how some of the Genshin characters would comfort me? So here have this, whatever this is, that I wrote at 2am on a night before I have 11am shift at work. Using you in all of this but honestly this is 100% self indulgent. I just want someone to cuddle with. Pretty sure most of this isn’t really in character and every point is vastly different from the others but hey, it is what it is. As long as I’m in my current mindset my stuff won’t be any better than this

Genre: fluff, a bit of angst I guess idk man, comfort i hope

Content warnings: depression (?) I don’t go too much into detail, don’t want to write out those negative thoughts HA but you know you are just not in a good spot in these, absolutely inconsistent writing, every character has to deal with a different stage of feeling depressed and yeah

Characters: Diluc, Childe, Albedo, Yoimiya

Fun fact: my app crashed while writing this so thank the tumblr admins that you can restore posts you wrote after the app crashes one of the few good features of the app

Diluc:

Would definitely notice the first small changes in your behaviour, but wouldn’t think much of it in the beginning.

Maybe you are just tired? And even if not Diluc knows best that no one can always be chipper.

Still he doesn’t know how to act around you when you are sad / heading towards a depressive episode.

He would offer you his help, you just need to say what you need and he’ll give it to you.

Ah, but Diluc didn’t really consider at first that you would be too afraid to ask, even when he offered it to you.

One day he will directly ask you in the privates of your home if you are okay. At first you would try to brush it off, not wanting to be a burden on Diluc. You know how much he’s been through and that he also has his emotional scars… would be a bit selfish to dump it all onto him, wouldn’t it?

But oh, you’ve been dying to talk with someone about your feelings, craving a warm hug and words of comfort… so when Diluc doesn’t drop the topic you just let it all out.

He will take you in his arms and hug you, cuddle you, as long as you want. He’ll stroke your hair, quietly listening to your words, only small “mmmhs” and “it’s okay” leaving him, to reassure you that it’s fine for sharing it all.

When none of you talks all you can hear is his steady breath and oh, it’s so soothing.

Maybe you end up crying, while sharing all of it with him. All he does is to pull you closer into his chest, saying that it’s okay and tell you to let it all out.

Diluc hides his softer side from the people of Mondstadt, always hiding behind the more grumpy image some of him have, but he knows that it’s not good to run away from your own feelings. What you need to do is to feel them, do not try to push them aside because you are uncomfortable with them.

Generally he would be soft, kind and understanding. At first he might give you too much room, afraid he might be overstepping a boundary when he keeps pushing you in the beginning. Ends up in you isolating yourself / pulling away more, but once Diluc sees the pattern he will be more attentive to your needs and learn to differentiate between you needing space and you isolating.

Though please communicate with him better, he’s busy and if him having less time for you causes you distress you need to tell him, he might only notice it after the feelings festered.

Childe:

Oh boy - he hasn’t seen you in a while, Fatui duties you know, so when he knocks on your door one day he notices immediately that you are not in a good place.

This man - he cooks, he cleans, we all joke about him being the perfect husband but seriously. He sees the state of you, the state of your apartment and immediately helps.

Having spend the last week or two in a depressive state caused you to neglect your housework - the dirty dishes are everywhere and laundry keeps piling up. Not to talk about how you look.

Childe will make you a bath and while you’re in it he cleans. An immense help!!! Taking away a good chunk of thinks that made you feel just so overwhelmed and helpless.

The whole time he wouldn’t breach the topic of why it has come to that point, but now after you finished the bath and the apartment looks liveable again he asks you what’s wrong.

Honestly you don’t know yourself, you’ve been just lacking more and more energy to do the basic tasks and suddenly everything was a mess.

Will wipe away your tears and tell you “don’t cry, I’m here”, taking you in a hug.

When he’s around more, will he notice it when it slowly gets worse? Mmh, yeah!! He definitely notice when you are feeling more down, seeing how your interactions change and how your laughs become more forced.

In the beginning he will just try to make you feel all the “positive” feelings, not wanting you to feel any “negative” emotions at all

this man definitely represses his own trauma a lot and has a horrible way of coping with it so I doubt he would be the most emotionally intellectual person to help you through it

Though when you show that you don’t feel like showing your sadness aside and you just want someone to share it with / need some comfort he will adjust to your needs

Albedo:

Boy as impeccable observation skills, he will notice immediately when something is off.

However - he somehow struggles to understand your feelings. Like. At all.

When he asks you what’s wrong and you tell him that there is not a reason for your feelings, you just feel a bit depressed that’s all, he will not get it.

How do you feel a certain emotions without something causing it? There must be a reason for it.

And honestly he’s right there is always a reason for a certain feeling to arise, but sometimes they aren’t easy to understand for yourself or to spot, sometimes it’s just that your inner child needs a hug and it takes you three weeks and a metal breakdown to understand that this is all you needed… plus a good cry

He’s gonna be so awkward at trying to comfort you, making you feel better, at first. Trying everything out to cheer you up, he really doesn’t want you to feel bad. Asks around for advice what helps others when they are sad.

Honestly? The things he does, the small presents he gifts you - they are nice and make you feel loved, but it doesn’t make the bad feelings go away. Even worse it somehow builts up this immense pressure for you to get better quick because look! Albedo does nice things, he tries to help. He tries to figure it out. Why can’t you give him the results he hopes to get???

Only when someone (Timadeus for sure) finally tells Albedo that it’s not a special dish or flower or even place that helps with sad feelings - it’s that they remind them of something that’s comforting. Klee told him Dodoco helps when she’s sad, because Dodoco reminds her how much her mum loves her. So when people told him about certain foods or flowers - it was more because those were valuable for those individuals, doesn’t mean it has value to you. Most importantly is that he’s just there for you.

With that new bits of information he will try to adjust to your needs more, to learn what you need and to understand it.

He will be so upfront about it too, coming into your room and telling you that he’s been trying to make you feel better the past couple of weeks and noticing how your mood has not improved at all. Finally asks you what you need opposed to him only having asked why you feel that way

Will definitely make you cry with how he approaches the topic. When he apologises for making you cry you cry even harder at how soft he says it.

Albedo will remember what he was told, that it’s important to just be there for someone, so he will stay at your side, his hand on your back rubbing it while you are just sobbing.

After the tears have calmed down you can just be honest with him, tell him that you sometimes don’t know yourself what will make it better, that sometimes you just have to life with the feelings and accept them - but that his attempts really didn’t help.

He will apologise for putting more pressure on you, asking if you need a hug (something a lot of people have told him helps them but he was just to shy to actually try it out). After saying yes you both stay for a long time in the hug, the first thing in a long time to make you feel better.

Yoimiya:

My love, the light of my life, my future main - she would be SO good at helping you through an episode.

Notices the way you act towards her changes and immediately confronts you about it, afraid that something in the relationship is amiss until you tell her the truth that you are a bit depressed.

Canonically the one with the best communication skills, if you were to put her, Diluc and Kaeya in a room I’m 1000% sure those two would leave it as brothers again.

That said she can sometimes be a bit too overwhelming - she can talk a lot, but she’s a good listener too, but in her attempt to fix the issue she goes a bit overboard.

She’ll want you to talk it all out which isn’t a bad thing per se, but sometimes you just don’t feel like talking or that talking would help.

However the way Yoimiya is it will make you communicate with her more about how you feel and what you need - she kinda just seems to be more approachable and the kind of person you can pour my heart out to after meeting her on the toilets of a bar.

Will cuddle you as long as you need.

And honestly? 100% sure she would even make you a firework to cheer you up that you both watch from her favourite spot on a blanket while doing so (the cuddling!)

or you know maybe it’s just what I would really want to do with her when I’m depressed aka RIGHT NOW MAN

[c-is-for-circinate]

As promised: let's talk Hades, and how acts of abuse can create toxic environments for everyone around them, and also how people react to those environments--and to them being disrupted.

(For reference, I have just kicked Theseus's ass for the first time, it was exactly as satisfying as it was intended to be, and then I got predictably slaughtered a couple of chambers into Styx. Spoilers for everything through that point, but please no spoilers in reblogs/comments for anything after that!) Also, TW for a whole lot of discussion of abuse, particularly verbal and emotional abuse, and abusive familyworkplace dynamics.

Okay, so. To start out with, Hades is an abusive parent. He engages in innumerable acts of verbal and emotional abuse towards his son, because yep, that's what you call it when a parent constantly berates and belittles their kid for every perceived failure, including the ones the parent themselves could have prevented. Sometimes especially the ones the parent could have prevented. Zagreus failed at his office clerk job because Hades refused to teach him how to do it and then blamed him for not already knowing how. Cerberus tore up the lounge because Hades, who was actually there, chose not to stop him. Hades created, possibly deliberately, and then took full advantage of every opportunity he saw to insult and demean his kid, and the clerk job flashback shows us that he was doing so even before the escape attempts started. I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page here, but: yep, that all constitutes abuse, even if they're gods. Even if Hades has reasons for Being Like That. Even if you think Zagreus seems okay and unharmed by it (which: repeatedly throwing yourself into a gauntlet of violence that inevitably ends in your own pain and death because you're so desperate to escape home, not actually an indicator of someone who's okay). We all good on that?

Cool. Because I'm not really here to talk about how Hades' abuse directly impacts Zagreus right now (although there's for sure an essay in that too). I'm thinking about how it impacts everybody else.

Hades isn't as obviously unreasonable with anybody else in his kingdom the way he is with his kid. When we see him lecture somebody else, it's usually for an actual failure to do their job: Hypnos for literally falling asleep on the job and not doing anything that was assigned to him, Megaera for letting us past her so many time, Orpheus for being a court bard who refuses to sing. His attitude is super confrontational and unpleasant, but on the surface it doesn't necessarily look as fucked-up. Thing is, though, whether any individual act of aggression towards an employee/family member is justified or not (I would generally argue 'not', because aggression towards employees/family members is, y'know, not justifiable)--it's not about the individual acts. It's about the entire cultivated atmosphere of toxicity and abuse.

One of the very first things Meg ever says to us is, "I'd rather be on your bad side than his." Up until that point, we've got no reason to believe Meg has any history whatsoever of fucking up at her job. In fact, we've got plenty of reason to believe she's good at it. She's fiercely proud of it, she's frequently Employee Of The [Time Period], and we've apparently never even met her sisters because she handles her shit herself. But she's still scared of Hades. Dusa, who is an anxious wreck at all times because oh god what if she gets fired what if she gets fired what if she gets fired, in spite of apparently being absolutely exemplary at her job, is scared of Hades. Every single shade in the Hall is clearly terrified of Hades, and it's not because of what he's done to each of them. It's what they've seen him do to other people.

Which is how toxic environments work, whether they're work environments or families. The Court of Hades is of course both, always, with the bonus hell layer of you can't quit even if you DIE. An abuser in authority doesn't have to target you in order to make you feel scared, cowed, and desperate to please them. Humans (and gods who are basically extra-powerful humans) are good at learning by example. The residents of the Court get the picture.

So this Court is a minefield--and everyone except Zagreus is very good at tiptoeing around mines. We see it in Meg, so desperate to do her job well. We see that Hypnos very clearly does not give a shit about anything, but he still makes sure to have a list of excuses ready if/when Hades ever confronts him about failure to do his job, just in case. We see it when Achilles tells us that my ability to help you is constrained by the authority your father gives me, or whatever the line was sixty runs ago when he couldn't let me into locked chambers. The system, such as it is, works, and if Nyx talks to Hades as little as possible, if Thanatos avoids the Court entirely, if Achilles treads very carefully and knows how to keep his head down--well that's just the system, right? That's just how things are.

Even Zagreus seems to have had a role in that system as the court fuckup. He's the kid who didn't have a real job or purpose. He could take the focus of Hades' generalized, day-to-day ire off of everyone else, without triggering some of the more direct and violent ire because the work he was doing didn't really matter (a LOT of Hades' rage-triggers seem to be related to job performance, which means that the people with real jobs are of course the most at risk). And he could do so "safely" (big emphasis on the quotation marks there) because he alone of the court is Hades' actual kid, who's Prince of the Underworld no matter how much he fucks up. If one of Nyx's other kids gets something really really wrong, she might be able to protect them from some consequences, but Hades doesn't have any layer of supposed parental affection holding him back from getting violently furious about it. Zagreus gets a nice bedroom and the abuse is limited to words rather than divine power, and Hades is a dick to everyone but he only occasionally condemns people to eternities of torture, and only for good reasons like refusing to sing when your job is to be court bard, so it's fine, everybody's fine, everything's totally fine, right?

Except it's not fine when everybody is so clearly worried about anything going wrong. And it's especially not fine for Zagreus, who's the person to finally say no. He's leaving, for his own sake, because he deserves better and he's finally convinced he can have it. And that turns the whole system into disarray.

I am endlessly fascinated by the ways this game portrays different characters reacting to this upheaval in their carefully-mapped minefield. It's different for authority figures and peers and servants, different based on how people are positioned in the house under Hades' rule, and it's so spot-on and I love it.

Nyx, for instance, is absolutely calm about the whole thing, because Nyx has power. Hades can't hurt her. Hades can't even really do much against her children, not when Hypnos and Thanatos are gods in their own right. Yes, Hades rules the kingdom, but Nyx owns the land, and she gives no shits about his rages. And it's interesting, too, to see the lines she doesn't draw. The deal seems to be that Hades doesn't fuck with her, and doesn't outright threaten her kids (because Hypnos is bad at his job, demonstrably so, and Hades hasn't ruined him yet), and she doesn't interfere with the way he treats the people around him. She gives Zagreus advice and support and the mirror, but she also doesn't take a direct stand against Hades. He can't hurt her, but he could make life...difficult. She's protected, her position in the minefield is more of a safe viewing platform than slogging through the middle of it, but the mines are still there.

And then we have Achilles, who is one of my favorite characters in the whole game because of how he reacts to this whole situation. Achilles, like Nyx, is so supportive. Every single time you see him he has something encouraging to say. He gives us his Codex, secretly finds us weapons, trained us for years, clearly wants us to succeed. And still he's limited, not necessarily out of fear for himself (though he has to be scared for himself, he knows what Hades does to people who anger him), but out of concern that if he gives Zagreus too much help in one way, he won't be able to provide help at all later. He's still so careful.

Achilles and Nyx are so fucking important to this story because they're the only authority figures Zagreus really has in his life except for his father, and they are so supportive. They're what keep this story from being a nightmare of psychological horror and depression. They can't stop the pressure from Hades and this life in his house being miserable for Zag, but they can give us hope, remind us that Zagreus is still loved. And they have such an incredibly important role when it comes to guilt, which is one of the biggest ways toxic systems maintain themselves.

If Zagreus leaves, what happens to everybody else? Who takes Hades' wrath then? Who becomes court scapegoat if he's not there, and also, who gets punished for his escape? These questions matter, and we see him worry about it! He asks Nyx and Achilles both, is it going to be okay that you're helping me, are you going to be alright, will my father hurt you for this? And they are both so firm about telling him no. No, I will be fine. See, here's the list of reasons about why I'm going to be fine, why my position in this minefield is secure. They make a point of telling us that it's fine, that we do not need to hold ourself back from getting out of this abusive situation for their sake. That is instrumental in Zagreus's ability to keep making these escape attempts without feeling too guilty and worried and selfish to go on. (Another thing that's actually really important in setting up that dynamic--we see that Hades cares about Cerberus, even if he's using him as a pawn against us, and Cerberus seems to be the one figure in court who Hades doesn't get mad at. The dog isn't at risk, and that is really essential in keeping the story from getting too grim.) These people who we care about refuse to let themselves be held hostage to secure our good behavior.

It's also really useful for raising the stakes later in the story--we see Hades arguing with Nyx once or twice, and we see Zagreus feeling guilty about it, but it's also a sign that we're making enough progress to piss him off. After I finally made it out of Elysium on my last run, I came home to find him furious with Achilles in a way that actually makes me nervous, because Achilles does not have nearly as much security in his position as he says he does. (Achilles is such a good teacher/authority figure, because he knows goddamn well what Hades could do to him, and still refuses to let fear for his own situation stop him from helping the abused kid under his care escape his. And no, not everybody has the capacity to do that, but it matters so much coming from the guy who helped raise us. It matters so much. I do not even have the words for how much.)

It's also no mistake that many of the people we find supporting us along our journey are either the people with the most power in their immediate environment, or the least. Sisyphus helps us because what more could they do to me than this? Orpheus is a little wild around the eyes and somewhat disconnected from reality, and he wishes us the best because someone should get what they want and also he no longer gives a single fuck what happens to him. Eurydice has her own cozy little corner of Asphodel, as safe from Hades' rage as anybody anywhere in his realm because she's tucked in such an out-of-the-way middle place she's outside his notice. Dusa is so scared of everything anyway that, crush aside, she isn't any more threatened by us escaping than she is just by her everyday life here. Charon is unfathomable and unstoppable; Skelly literally exists to be a punching bag, and yet he also seems basically immune to pain, no matter what we do to him. There's no threat from Hades there.

So the people most at risk when I flip the world on its ear are the ones who have so much standing that they have something to lose, but not enough to protect them from losing it. Which of course brings us to Than and Meg--who are, of course, the two people who also seem by far the most upset by my attempts to leave.

As authority figures, Nyx and Achilles are constantly reinforcing the message that it's Hades' fault, not ours, if they or anybody else get caught in the crossfire of his wrath. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's not my guilt to bear. From Megaera and Thanatos, we get the opposite message--I am fucking with things, I am hurting people, and I need to stop. Zagreus isn't just abandoning them, as a friend or brother or lover or all of the above they're Greek gods who even knows. He's betraying them. They were in this together, as friends or lovers or whatever, but now Zagreus is sending earthquakes through the minefield they both still have to stand in. He is about to capsize this boat in the middle of a thunderstorm, he is fucking with the system, and they're the ones who are going to get most hurt.

I'm so curious how this is going to work for Than, who out of everyone we meet holds the closest role to Nyx's in terms of being sheltered from Hades' wrath. He's the guy who gets to leave, after all, even though he always has to come back. I've seen the least of him out of anybody so far because it took forever for me to get to Elysium, but two things really stand out and I'm so interested to see where they go. One, he really genuinely does care about Zagreus. He wants us safe, he wants us unhurt, the accessory he gives us only grants its bonus if we clear a room without taking injury, he keeps showing up to help. And two, he wants us to give up and go back and recognize how good we had it. Which is SO fucking interesting, considering how miserable Zagreus so clearly was, and how legitimate his reasons for being miserable were.

It makes me wonder so much about Than's standards for comparison. Does he know something we don't about what's waiting for us on the surface, something that might theoretically hurt Zagreus even more than staying down below? Has his life, which apparently allows him more freedom than anybody else in the Court, sucked horribly in ways we haven't seen, and that's why he spends so little time there in the first place? Either of those things is plausible, both of those things are plausible, and yet either one leads to this sense of patronizing, because he refuses to simply tell us. If something terrible is awaiting us, don't give us vague warnings, tell us what it is and let us decide for ourself! If you're fucking jealous because we might get out entirely and you're still stuck coming back here, say so. If you're worried about your mom--and he does bring her up, how could Zagreus turn his back on her like that, does seem to worry for her--then let's have an actual conversation about how many times she has insisted I do this and also how much I love her.

And, right, it's clear that a lot of Thanatos being upset is simply, you were going to leave me without even saying goodbye, you want to leave ME, which is understandable! But, like, he is demonstrably the one god who gets to visit the surface. He's the one person we actually COULD expect to see again. And he is absolutely also upset because there's an Order To Things, and we're fucking it up. We used to be his careless callow reckless friend who could talk back to Hades and get away with it, and now we're not, and everything is changing and we might leave him altogether, and we might leave him alone in that court without us, and he hates it.

Is it a short-sighted, selfish fear on his part? Yes, absolutely. Even if he's not scared of Hades on his own behalf, he is still frightened by what happens if we upset this system--and maybe it's the sanctity of a much bigger system than the Underworld that he's worried about! Maybe it's the whole divine and cosmic order. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect is enabling the abuse Zagreus has been dealing with for however-long he's been alive. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect OUGHT to be overturned, or at least shaken up. But this is what toxic systems DO. They convince the people within them that they have to be maintained, that a broken system that hurts the people within it is far better than no system at all, that changing the world is too scary and too dangerous. And Thanatos wants his whatever-Zagreus-is-to-him to be there, because he loves him and also because that's how the world works, and those things are all tangled up in one another, and that is how relationships are in a messed-up family like this so therefore I love it.

And Meg. Meg, the best for last, my dear, beautiful, furious, bitter, scared angry tired girl. I adore her. I am absolutely never going to date her, because the thing Zagreus needs most in his life hurts her, more directly than anybody else in the story, and that sucks, and it's not Zag's fault but they still shouldn't be together. Meg has taken more injury from this situation than anyone, quite literally as well as metaphorically, and it's not her fault any more than it's ours, but oh boy it has made her lash out and it's awful and it's perfect.

Meg's place in the Court of Hades is unique because she's not dead, not a mortal, not anything other than a god--but she's also not family. Nyx is not her mother. She's very much part of this system, she and her two sisters belong to Hades-the-realm and therefore also Hades-the-king, she can't leave, but she also doesn't have that protection of Nyx watching out for her in the same way. She's not royalty. She and her sisters (if you ask Hesiod instead of Virgil, which seems to be the interpretation the game's going with here) sprang from the blood of maimed Uranus at the same time as Aphrodite, but fuck knows Aphrodite isn't claiming them as siblings. And she can't be fired, exactly, but she sure can be demoted, and she sure can be made miserable in her job. Meg is vulnerable in a way very few people in Hades' employ are. She's a lot harder to do away with than any one random shade, but she's also a lot harder to miss blending in with a crowd.

What's more, she's the one person in this whole mess who is specifically tasked with stopping us from leaving. Hypnos isn't ordered to put us to sleep and keep us in our room. Thanatos can't be compelled or punished if he doesn't hunt us down. Achilles isn't told to lock us up and keep the keys. Meg is the one stationed at the doorway to Tartarus to keep us in. Meg is the one who gets in trouble when we leave. Meg (who Hades knows goddamn well Zagreus cares for, or cared for, who he absolutely knows we used to date) is the one who has to fight us again and again and again. And she's the one who keeps dying.

Again, it's this incredibly fucked-up guilt/hostage situation deliberately designed to keep people from fleeing abusive situations. Meg's insistence on fighting us now puts Zagreus in the position of having to hurt her himself again and again. Now suddenly we're the ones sticking a sword in our ex-girlfriend. Now suddenly someone can point to our desire to leave, to flee, to escape, and say, how selfish. How cruel. How terrible of us to want to go, when we're even willing to hurt the people we love to do it.

Except, right: Hades is the one who demands Meg stand there and stop us. Hades is the one who puts both of us in that position. Meg is also in an abusive situation, and she's willing to hurt us to protect herself. "I'd rather be on your bad side than your father's." It's easy to blame her at the start for being complicit, for being a tool of our father's abuse, for being on his side. It gets harder as the game goes on. I've killed her so many times. There's no way for her to beat me. She knows at this point that she can't beat me. She still fights, every single time, still throws herself upon that spike, not because she thinks she has any chance of stopping me but because she is so damn scared of what will happen if she doesn't try.

In fact, Meg's the one person we have actually seen face consequences for our actions so far, instead of just facing the threat of them. Her sisters are here. Her sisters, who she clearly does not want here, who are wild and violent and who she does not want in her life or anywhere near her, let alone near the job she takes so much pride in. She gets to deal with them now. (Hades doesn't have to deal with them. They're still not allowed in his court. But Meg does.) She gets stabbed, and bludgeoned, and shot, and lightning-struck, and poisoned, and every other thing we do to her. Thanatos doesn't. Nyx and Achilles and Hypnos don't. Bug Meg? Oh yes. Meg pays.

And yes, ok, she is complicit in this system. Everybody is complicit in this system. Zagreus who's trying to escape on his own behalf instead of overthrowing his father for the sake of everyone he'd otherwise be leaving behind is complicit in this system. Pointing fingers and pulling strings of who's more at fault? and who do we blame for this? is exactly how this sort of system perpetuates itself. Your sister always talked back at the dinner table and put everyone in an even worse and more violent mood. Your coworker refuses to work more than forty hours a week so now you have to take overtime to pick up their slack. You're enabling your dad by asking your sister to shut up, you're enabling your employer by working as hard as you do so you don't get fired, everyone's at fault, everyone's to blame, everyone is--

It's not everyone. It's Hades. It's Hades at the root of everything, and probably something big and institutional and fucked-up even beyond him. But even if everyone down in this Underworld does have to be trapped here forever, even if he's trapped here forever, Hades is neither challenging the system that put them here nor trying to make that fate better for anyone else stuck with him. He's just created an entire kingdom of backbiting and misery and people who can either go along with his whims or suffer the consequences.

At this point in the game, Meg is so fucking tired. Every time we run into her in the lounge, hunched over a table, the venom in her voice when she tells us "Do I look like I have anything to say to you?" is so bitter and so exhausted. There was a system, and she knew her place in the system, and it was a system divinely ordered by the gods themselves, and sure it was cruel but that's the literal will of the universe as far as she knows it. She had a role, and her role was vengeance and punishment and violence against those who'd committed the most egregious of sins in life, and there was a point to it, she was the divine deterrent to convince people not to do those things, and that was just, and that was right. The GODS THEMSELVES said so. How do you argue with that? You can't possibly argue with that!

And Zagreus is arguing with that. In trying to leave, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that nothing in the Underworld ever gets to leave it. In disobeying his father to do so, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that what the gods say is LAW. He's breaking everything.

And of course he's not trying to do any of that. He's not trying to destabilize the system at all. He's just trying to get himself out of it, to a place where he feels like he belongs and maybe a parent who's slightly nicer to him than this one. But toxic systems like this one break when the people within them have access to another option. When the kids find a way to actually leave, and not answer the phone, and not come home for holidays, and not deal with it any more. When the employees have the economic freedom to quit. When opportunities granted by education, money, social support, etc etc etc, show up and give people a choice. Even if the option is only ever for Zagreus--he's demonstrating that an option exists. Which is, of course, the one thing the system cannot ever allow.

I really like this game.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 306: the beginning of the WHAT

Previously on BnHA: Nana and the Gang were all, “hey Deku, we can read your thoughts and feelings so we should already know the answer to this, but for some reason we want to quiz you on whether or not you’d be down to kill Shigaraki Tomura.” Deku was all, “um okay, well tbh, probably not seeing as Saving People has been my entire thing since literally the start of the series.” The Vestiges were all, “yes that makes perfect sense and again we already knew that, but well, good for you buddy and I’m glad we had this talk. Anyway I guess we should ask these two cryptic fuckers in the corner to finally turn around now before we run out of -- ” and then the chapter ended. Because OF COURSE IT DID.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all “YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT, WOULDN’T IT BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I GAVE YOU A CONFUSING CHAPTER WHERE EVERYONE FINALLY LEARNS ABOUT OFA, AND GOES BACK TO THE DORMS, AND THEN THE CHAPTER ENDS WITH DEPRESSED NOMAD DEKU STANDING ON A PRECIPICE WITH GRAN TORINO’S TATTERED CAPE FLOWING IN THE WIND.” Everyone is all, “???????????” Horikoshi is all, “also the parents are moving to the U.A. campus, and Jeanist’s neck is two and a half feet long, for everyone that was wondering.” Everyone is all, “WHERE ARE KACCHAN AND TODOROKI AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, WHO ARE THE SECOND AND THIRD USERS”, and Horikoshi is all, “:)” and fades away into nothingness like the fucking fae he is. Like a fucking imp who’s kept his end of the cursed bargain. What, the, fuck.

okay guys, so after the longest Thursday of my fucking life, during which I was secretly hoping that my spoiler containment net would be somehow be breached, inadvertently exposing me to theta spoiler radiation, so that I could be all “oh no... spoilers... there’s nothing I can do... I have no choice but to look” (which sadly did not happen), it is finally Friday and the chapter is finally out. so I’ve got my clown kit at the ready and other self-deprecating memes on standby, and I’m ready to go. and I should note that I’m also ready for Horikoshi to pull some absolute bullshit and be like, “oh you know what, we haven’t checked in with Rat Principal in a while have we” and spend the entire chapter on nonsense like that. I’M READY FOR FUCKING ANYTHING so bring it

(ETA: it would be nice if this man wouldn’t call my bluff every now and again.)

oh, right, we were due a color page! wow look at this

isn’t this supposed to be the future?? what’s with all of these staticky CRT TVs

anyway, so! is this the first time we’ve seen Tomura’s stylish finger prosthetic glove thingy in color?? because I didn’t expect it to be red. also, at some point you just have to give in and change your pants into cutoffs or something, Tomura. start a new trend of stylish villain capris

meanwhile Deku is dressed like he’s going on a journey into the desert to find a mystical oasis. actually this cape looks a lot like Gran Torino’s. I have to go back and see if Gran’s is all raggedy like this

(ETA: it wasn’t before but APPARENTLY IT IS NOW. I also forgot that Horikoshi had showed it sitting on a side table in the hospital a few chapters ago.)

lastly, AFO looks like someone’s thumb after they’ve been washing dishes for twenty minutes. you are just the ugliest dude in history, and as always, fuck you

HAHAHA SOB I KNEW IT

oh, Twowy McTwoface is finally starting to turn around? better CUT BACK TO DEKU’S HOSPITAL ROOM THEN. wouldn’t want to accidentally ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS or SOLVE ANY MYSTERIES, god forbid

well, whatever. whatever!! anyway so now someone’s knocking at the door. I say “someone” but we all know it’s Hawks

yep

they were actually standing outside the door for a while hoping they’d overhear another juicy plot conversation, but no such luck this time

lmaooo Jeanist wtf

acting all embarrassed, but you’re really just as curious as Hawks is. making him do all the dirty work for you huh

ARE YOU SERIOUS THIS IS AN INJUSTICE

so like two seconds after Katsuki gets dragged away you open the door for the rest of them!! well, fine!! I really want it to be a more private/personal moment between the two of them anyway so let the other kids check in on Deku first then

and in the meantime, time to see Hawks put the thumbscrews to All Might’s resolve lol

I wonder how much of it Hawks has already put together in the last five minutes. One for All is something connected to All for One that Tomura seems to want. Tomura was apparently targeting Deku. that’s more than enough to make a few deductions right there. I wonder how much Hawks knows about Deku’s quirk. he did watch the sports festival, and he ran into the kids interning under Endeavor that one time

okay well maybe he hasn’t put the rest of it together just yet, but Hawks is making a pretty reasonable pitch here to All Might

also this is a pretty spectacular view. is this a hospital or a hotel??

AHLKJLKJLKJ ARE YOU SERIOUSLY GOING TO TELL THEM

OH MY GOD HE IS?!?!

JUST LIKE WE ALL EXPECTED, THE NEXT TWO PEOPLE TO LEARN THE TRUTH ABOUT OFA ARE GOING TO BE HAWKS, AND BEST FUCKING JEANIST

-- LFKLKKLDK ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS. ARE YOU --

( •̀_•́ )

[sitting cross-legged on the ground pulling up little clumps of grass and letting them fall from my fingers one by one] yeah. sure. okay. fine. sure

-- OKAY, NO. NUH-UH. NO

everybody better hold tight cuz I’m about to pick up this whole chapter and yeet it into the ocean like a fucking frisbee lol

HORIKOSHI I DON’T CARE ABOUT THESE PEOPLE SITTING HERE WATCHING TV WTF

-- OH

well okay then. proceed. though lord help me if they’re about to reveal the secret of OFA to the whole fucking world skdkj

oh snap

well, there it is. pretty much what I expected, but it’s good to actually get to see this moment with him taking responsibility

though at the same time, thank you Horikoshi for not forcing us to sit through the rest of that

their fucking faces omg. okay but seriously, what nation doesn’t secretly love a good scandal

the Endeavor Pamphlets, part two. thank you for giving the country something to opine about on twitter in these trying times, Enji

so now they’re asking about Hawks and Jeanist but I cannot even focus on anything all of a sudden because what?!

is Jeanist even a real actual human being you guys?! are we sure he’s not three kids sitting on each other’s shoulders?? are you related to that one guy with the really long neck from the Jedi Council?? are you Orochimaru, bro??

so now Hawks is apologizing for the murder of Twice, and for hiding the connection with his dad

the fact that he has to give this serious formal apology and beg forgiveness for the shameful crime of Having An Abusive Father is really something else, though. just. it’s realistic, but I still hate it

moving on now to the one thing he actually does owe the public an explanation for

not to go all “Hawks did nothing wrong” on you guys yet again, but seriously. 100% facts. fandom can (and no doubt will) debate this until the end of time, but if Twice had gotten away they wouldn’t be having this press conference right now because there wouldn’t be any heroes left to give one. anyways though, I’ve already said more than enough about that in previous posts

so now some severe-looking lady with the weirdest fingers I’ve ever seen is saying that her mother was injured during Machia’s rampage

and she’s basically all “a fuck lot of good ‘I’m sorry’ does us all about now.” true true

wow she’s really getting fired up

and now Enji is basically saying that he understands that an apology isn’t enough, and what they really need now are solutions. okay, well! SO THEN WHAT IS THE PLAN THEN

hmmfsdgh

this eloquent PEZ dispenser makes a good point you guys

wait, hold up

CERTAIN citizens?? um excuse me, what??

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh shit

holy shit. well, this will go over well

okay! so this tells me a number of things, though

basically the minute that Hawks learned about One for All, he realized that anyone connected to Deku (e.g. Inko) would be a target for AFO. AFO wants OFA, meaning AFO wants Deku, and one of the easiest ways to get to Deku would be to target his family

Hawks therefore realized that Inko needed to be placed into protective custody

but the fact that ALL of the hero course students’ families (and is it only the U.A. hero course, or all of the hero course students across the country?) are being given protection tells me that Hawks and co. don’t want to single Deku out as being important. so then it looks like they’re not going to tell everyone about OFA (or at least not the public. which, good). so rather than drawing suspicion by saying “we’ve got to protect everyone connected with this one kid”, they’re making it seem like all the U.A. kids’ families are getting this treatment

but since the heroes are now spread so thin, they can’t just send a protective detail to each and every family, so they’re bringing all of the families to the same place instead to better keep an eye on them

so that’s all well and good, and a very smart move. except that idk how all of this is going to go over with the general public, all of whom are probably feeling unsafe at the moment, and who will probably see this as preferential treatment -- basically just the heroes looking after their own and leaving everyone else to fend for themselves

(ETA: okay so @hanashimas​’ translation clarifies that U.A. is offering their services as an evacuation shelter for everyone who wants it, not just the families of the U.A. students. that’s much more appropriate so I withdraw my previous “wtf” reaction lol.)

anyway though here’s Mitsuki and Inko

can we take this as confirmation that the two of them really are friends? that’s one piece of fanon that I’ve always hoped was true, so I’m gonna go ahead and say it’s confirmed

(ETA: also this means that Hagakure’s parents (or maybe “parents” in quotation marks) will supposedly be moving in as well. sure am curious as to how that’s going to go.)

now someone in the press crowd is asking whether U.A. can provide adequate security, which is honestly the LAST thing I expected these people would be outraged about lol. shows what I know I guess

(ETA: again though, this makes sense if the “certain civilians” thing was just a translation error.)

LMAO DAMMIT ENJI

YOU CAN’T JUST ALWAYS PULL THE “JUST WATCH ME” TRICK AND EXPECT IT TO SHUT DOWN THE CONVERSATION EVERY DAMN TIME YOU ASSHOLE

-- OH MY GOD RED ALERT

TIME TO ANALYZE THIS BECAUSE OMG

WASH CAN’T BELIEVE HIS FAMILY GROUP CHAT IS STILL SENDING HIM FUCKING MEMES AT A TIME LIKE THIS. HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THE DABI DANCE IS TRENDING ON TIKTOK, MOM!!

FOR A MINUTE I THOUGHT MT. LADY WAS HOLDING MIDNIGHT’S TORN-UP MASK, AND BY THE TIME I REALIZED THAT’S ACTUALLY HER MASK AND NOT MIDNIGHT’S, I HAD ALREADY CONSTRUCTED AN ELABORATE HEADCANON IN WHICH MT. LADY AND MIDNIGHT WERE SECRETLY DATING BUT HADN’T COME OUT TO ANYONE YET, AND THEN TRAGEDY STRUCK, AND NOW MT. LADY IS GETTING READY TO SET OUT TO SEEK VENGEANCE. AND WELL, NOW THAT THIS HEADCANON EXISTS IN THE WORLD, I’M NOT SURE IF I’M READY TO GET RID OF IT

MIRKO HAS GOTTEN HERSELF A PROSTHETIC (ROBOT??!) ARM, NOTHING ELSE THAT’S HAPPENING IN THIS CHAPTER IS EVEN SLIGHTLY IMPORTANT!!! HELLO!!!!!

AIZAWA WITH THE EYEPATCH GOOD LORD. THE WORLD ISN’T READY. HE LOOKS LIKE HE HASN’T SLEPT IN NINETY-EIGHT YEARS, BUT SOMEHOW HE MAKES IT INTO THE HOTTEST THING EVER AS PER USUAL

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS FUCKING GUY. ARE WE SUPPOSED TO KNOW HIM? IS THIS KAMUI?? WAS THAT THING WHICH I ALWAYS ASSUMED WAS HIS HAIR ACTUALLY A HELMET OR SOMETHING WHAT

LOL AND MEANWHILE

you tell me, Dabi! weren’t you the one who said that wouldn’t be enough to kill him? what even is your endgame here. I’m starting to worry about the villain brain cell supply you guys. I feel like Compress took most of them with him when he left

OH??

“when asked about One for All, Endeavor fucking lied through his teeth.” well, well, well

SLKDFJLSKGDJLKLKGJL THE DORMS

( ⁰ ⌂ ⁰ )

SLDKJFLKJWLKJLK

WLKDJSLKJFWKELKSDJLKHGLK

HDSMFLKGKL:GDSELK

OCHAKO’S HAND IS SHAKING OH MY GOD

THERE’S YOUR KAMINARI, EVERYONE!!

RHA’S SCANLATION TEAM REALLY THREW DEKU’S HANDWRITING UNDER THE BUS HERE HUH

HE TOLD EVERYONE!?

WHY THE FUCK IS HE WRITING IT AS A LETTER

(ETA: 9. also if he really wrote every kid in his class then that means the U.A. traitor -- or Hagakure as we like to call her around these parts -- also knows about OFA, and knows that Deku has run the fuck off and isn’t at U.A. anymore. so that’s just great!)

OH HELL NO

the hell does that mean, you must leave. leave to go where. son you are not up and leaving to go power up and lead us all into a timeskip. and I swear to GOD, if you left Kacchan too...!!

MY GOD I CAN’T PROPERLY ABSORB ALL OF THESE OCHAKO FEELS RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I’M TOO TERRIFIED TO SCROLL TO THE LAST FUCKING PAGE, FUCK

I JUST GOTTA DO IT. I JUST GOTTA SUCK IT UP AND DO IT. FUCK

FUCK

WHAT. THE. FUCK

y’all I’m not even gonna waste your time with more keysmashing, JUST ASSUME THAT I AM DOING IT NONSTOP, FOREVER. and let’s just jump RIGHT IN HERE

okay so here I thought that All Might and co. had taken him away somewhere to train, but that is CLEARLY not what’s going on here. this kid is standing here in his Apocalypse Aesthetic hero costume which has CLEARLY seen better days, with Gran Torino’s cloak (GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THAT, THEN?? SO DID GRAN FUCKING DIE EXCUSE ME WTF), and a fucking backpack. this little green idiot has RUN AWAY FROM HOME. this is the absolute LAST THING ON EARTH I ever expected to happen so PARDON ME WHILE I SCREAM CONFUSEDLY INTO THE VOID

he does not look okay. you guys he doesn’t look okay at ALL. he has NEVER looked like this. this isn’t just a “I’m sad because I’m leaving all my friends behind” kind of look on his face, or even just a “Gran Torino died maybe and I’m still having emotions over it” look. this is an EXHAUSTED, dead look in his eyes. something terrible has happened

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR ARMS DEKU. THE PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING DOWN WITH YOUR ARMS GODDAMMIT

love how this random building is just straight up collapsing, like that’s just a normal thing that happens every day now. lovely

APRIL MEANS IT’S NOW FULL ON SCHEDULED ALL-MIGHT-DYING-HOURS, BUT LET’S COMPLETELY IGNORE THAT THOUGH BECAUSE FUCK THAT NOISE

“THE SECOND USER? WHO KNOWS? CERTAINLY NOT ME” HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD

“BAKUGOU? NEVER HEARD OF HIM!” HORIKOSHI PLEASE

WHERE. IS. KACCHAN

did he go with Deku?? did he get a chance to talk to him before he left?? did he get his own private letter which he read and then promptly blew up in a fit of panicked rage?? is he going to go after him?? DOES HORIKOSHI KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING TO ME RIGHT NOW?? OF COURSE HE DOES, DON’T BOTHER ANSWERING THAT

omg. though actually the fact that we’ve already jumped a few weeks forward makes me hopeful that there won’t actually be another timeskip, or at least not much of one. I’m sure that’ll be the big debate of the week, but I don’t think we can jump too far forward here. for starters because of that All Might prophecy I mentioned. and also because TomurAFO isn’t just going to wait around for months. and also because I’m 100% sure that Deku’s running-away backpack is just filled ENTIRELY WITH NOTEBOOKS and this asshole cannot possibly survive more than 3 days on his own. UNLESS SOMEONE COMES TO HELP HIM THAT IS. OR SOMEONES, EVEN. OMG. omg omg omg. fuck this chapter lmao

[magicpumpkin3]

hey you i see your req are open ? if you have time , can you write about reader ( female or gender natural ) who always act cold and strong in front of other but one day the dorm leader see her crying in the sleep . they like having a nightmares about the dorm leader leaving them and sleep talk about begging them to stay ?

i am sorry if this is too long .

Note: I went through seven stages of grief while writing this. And the crazy part, I have no idea why! (Prob BC of the art/writing block).

Note№2: I sincerely apologize for the delay. But at last, most of my finals are over and I hope my will to live and create will return (and NOT at 3 AM!)

Riddle Rosehearts

He honestly didn't know you fell asleep. You were staying in his room, listening to him, rambling about his dorm members not understanding the importance of rules.

He stopped rambling as soon as you let out a small sob. Slowly turning his head towards you, to make sure he didn't mishear it, Riddle looks at you. Another sob leaves you followed shortly by a hitched inhale. He's momentarily at your side. Riddle isn't quite sure what to do. He knows for sure, he needs to wake you up. While he attempts to do so, you start crying even more, particular shacking from the amount of tears.

Riddle stills when he hears you call out for him. Never have he ever imagined you, of all people calling for him. It's unusual for you to show such deep emotions to anyone so poor thing is absolutely lost at what to do again. He had similar nightmares too (not to the point of years though), so he understands your fear.

He attempts to comfort you in your sleep, since he could wake you up. Riddle hugs you and whispers reassuring things and lot's of "I'll never leave you"s. He'll never mention it to anyone but he will talk about this with you for sure.

Leona Kingscholar

It was one of the many sleepless nights for Leona. He usually listened to your heart to fall asleep faster, feeling safe and loved. Laying on top of you, using you as a pillow, it always helped.

Leona is no stranger to nightmares, quiet the opposite actually. But never did he imagen that you will have one. In front of him. There isn't a lot of people who would understand you, lucky for you, Leona is one of a few, who understand. He trys to wake you up at first, causing you to cry even more. He's panicking, he has no idea what to do. You're always so cold, calm and quiet one of the many reasons why he likes to sleep near you.

Once Leona hears your cry for him, beginning him, to stay. He stills, not believing his ears. He had similar nightmares about you, leaving him. You were always there to comfort him when those night terrors came, so he does the same for you.

He cuddles you, pat's your head, running his fingers through your hair and says probably the sweetest things you'll ever hear from him. Leona won't mention it to anyone and won't talk with you about it. He will cuddle you more and say encouraging stuff to you in private though.

Azul Ashengrotto

He was in his office, counting contracts, before heading towards his room. He couldn't leave his angelfish waiting! You and Azul made an agreement that whenever he's being late to your 'privet' date, you'd wait for him in his room.

Standing right outside the room, Azul heard faint crying. Momentarily, he enters room, normally he knocks, even though it's his room, privacy is privacy but in this situation, he had to.

Seeing you crying in your sleep, made his personal killbill siren go insane! Usually it was the other way around, you comforting him after another bad dream. So Azul did what you usually did to him, try to wake you up and comfort you.

You let out another cry but with his name. Poor Azul was afraid you were having nightmare about him, hurting you. He was about to push away, when you weekly grabbed onto his arm and pleaded to stay with you, still asleep.

Azul stayed by your side whole night, not daring to fall asleep. Not like he could. Whispering words of love and reassurance, cuddling you, with his whole being, Azul silently cried with you, feeling your pain, like no one else. He won't say a word to anyone but he will talk about your fears and insecurities.

Kalim Al-Asim

He just returned from one of his night flys. Usually he just flys on his carpet whenever he couldn't sleep, thais was one of those nights. As soon as you entered Kalim's room and sat down on his bed, you fell asleep, due to up coming exams. Sunshine boy truly tried to fall asleep with you but he couldn't.

So imagen his suprise, when he heard your crys. You! The ice majesty you! You were like that comical 'polar opposites' couple. If anything, it was most likely him being the crying one then you!

Poor Kalim was panicking half of the time! He was about to call Jamil for help (since vice dorm leader always helped him to calm down in saddest moments) but then he heard your crys for him. You, the always cool and calm, you were calling for him???

Kalim wouldn't even try to wake you up in fear of scaring you even more, instead he'd attempt to comfort you through your sleep. Hugging, cuddling you, pressing gentle kisses here and there. He'd try to stay awake the whole night but unfortunately he falls asleep embracing you. In the morning he's very tempted to ask others for advice but Kalim understands, that it's too personal. He'll be a bit awkward about it (he doesn't know how to approach you when it comes to emotions) but he will talk with you about your nightmares.

Vil Schoenheit

Normally he was the one to fall asleep first but oh well. You did look horribly tired this whole day. Schoenheit was in a good mood, so he decided to have a beauty sleep with you (aka go to sleep at 9 pm).

He was about to fell asleep but was shacken back to the reality with your sobs. At first, he thought it was just his sleepy mind and imagination but when you started to toss around the bed and cry even more aggressively. Vil would usually just knocked some sense into you, to not ruin his beauty sleep but it's not the case.

He isn't the best guy if you need comfort. Especially if he's used to you being cold and calm on the outside (like him). So Vil is really confused on what to do. Logically he'd try to wake you up first and if that fails, he'd still be lost for a good fee seconds. Don't be mad at him, please, he trys his best. Vil would try to hug you and keep you in place, so you wouldn't accidentally hurt yourself, try to calm you, by saying stuff like 'it's okay', 'let it out' and 'sh…I'm here for you'.

When he first heard you cry for him, Vil like Azul thought, he was the cause of your tears. He was about to start to think some really depressing things but then you begged for him to stay. It's like something snapped in him. Vil never thought that you'd be that attached to him. He'd be more 'aggresive' in his calming attempts. More 'I love you's and 'I won't ever leave you's, tightening his embrace and all. He wouldn't talk to anyone about it and he would be hesitant to talk to you about it too. Since he's also an 'ice queen' he tried to think how'd that go through his point of view. But in the end you'd still discussed it.

Idia Shroud

You both were chillaxing in his room. Idia was having one of those long night gaming marathon/sessions and you accidentally fell asleep on his bed. Idia doesn't mind though, he understands that you're probably tired and his bed is comfy!

Before long, he was at max level fighting with the boss and he was about to disintegrate that worthless being- Wait, did he hear it correct? Pushing pause, Idia pushed his headphones a bit. Yep, that was someone crying. Hold on... IT'S JUST YOU AND HIM HERE!!! Remember, I told you about killbill siren in Azul's head? Now THIS is a killbill siren. Idia is panicking his shit out and has no actual idea what to do! His anxiety level has never been so high.

Usually he was the one having nightmares (if you were lucky to catch him asleep) in your couple, so if something you or Ortho were the one to comfort him. Poor Idia, he was on the verge of tears from the panic. He was about to call Ortho for help when he heard your cry for him, his name being chocked out from your trembling body. Hesitant, he would try to wake you up (And miserably failed). Idia will mostly say reassuring words and won't do much physical contact since he's afraid of scaring you even more. He really is worried, don't get me wrong! After that, he would only ask Ortho for the advice (or internet in anon mode). He doesn't want to mess up things even more so he'll be shy asking you about it. You and him will still talk at some point though.

Malleus Draconia

Fae's sleeping schedule is a... wierd thing but it is what it is. Usually Malleus just watches you sleep instead of sleeping himself. So here you were in bed next to him, sleeping peacefully, while Draconia watched you like a hawk.

So when your face started to show the slightest hints of discomfort, he noticed it. And from that moment on, his 'protecting' instincts were acting up. He didn't risk waking you up right away but he git closer to your sleeping form non-theless. He was monitoring everything, starting with what expression does your face makes and ending with your heart beat.

When you let out your first shaky sob, Malleus felt like there's a crack in the floor and it's getting bigger. He had no idea what to do. While he was spacing out and silently panicking, you started to cry even harder. Poor baby, was scared to do anything! He tried to wake you up but you just started crying even harder! Malleus got a heart attack when you cried his name out. Like Azul he thought, he was the reason of your nightmare. The only thought about it made him go to the verge of tears. Malleus was brought back to the reality by you, pleading for him to stay. Mal mal would hug you, whisper promises of being with you forever and try to slowly rock you like a baby to ease your bad dream. He won't mention it to anyone and won't talk with about it. But if it happens again, he'll decently confront you about your nightmares.